#THIS IS WHAT WE MEAN WHEN WE SAY POVERTY IS FUCKING VIOLENCE

[yourheartinyourmouth]

i fucking hate my life.

one of the other tenants has been constantly turning the heat up to EIGHTY even though it hasn’t dipped below 40. this lead to the heating bill for the unit being like, $300 more than the rest of the boarding house.

so, since we are apparently untrustworthy children and not adults who can be reasoned with, the landlord came while tenant was at work and put one of those plastic locking boxes over the thermostat. tenant came home ranting and screaming, calling husband and me bitches repeatedly, yelling abt how he always gets the mail (?), screaming about how we went behind his back to the landlord (we didn’t), and then SLAMMED his door as hard as he could.

screaming and door slamming are so fucking triggering for me. i had a melt down verging on anxiety attack.

i absolutely Do Not Feel Safe Here.

[saintsenara]

do you go with word of god about how tom would have been better off if merope lived and raised him or that it would have been even worse for him and merope would have become infatuated because of his resemblance to tom riddle sr? (Similar to how part of the fandom believes snape would be if harry resembled lily lmao) which of do you think its more interesting route?

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

i go for the first of the two options - that merope living would have been so much better for wee tom riddle jr. - not because it's what jkr says, but because i tend to loathe any interpretation of merope's character which undermines the fact that so much of her life could have been changed at numerous crucial moments by anyone connected to the wizarding state giving a fuck.

merope is a teenage girl who lives in abject poverty, has a treatable medical condition [exotropia - eyes which stare in different directions] for which she clearly hasn't received any medical care, is denied an education, is subjected to physical violence by her father right there on the canon page, and is implied in canon to be subjected to incestuous sexual violence by her father and/or brother. the state has numerous opportunities to remove her from this experience - when marvolo fails to respond to her hogwarts letter, when bob ogden visits the gaunts - and yet doesn't, and while i don't think that just being taken away from morfin and marvolo would have solved everything, it would have given her the safety to start healing...

i get why the idea of merope as this sinister, unhinged, devouring, unchangeable bundle of malevolence, who would destroy her own son by becoming infatuated with him, is compelling when the genre demands it to be - i've written her as a folk-horror villain myself, and she was perfect for the role - but in fics which aren't intentionally going for that sort of supernatural, dark fairytale, horror-story vibe... i don't think it hits.

merope's great tragedy - much like her son's - is that she is someone capable of and longing for a normal life, but who is denied this by the corrosive forces of grief, poverty, abuse, and indifference and who goes on to perpetuate harm in turn.

as i've said elsewhere, her rape [and we should call it what it is] of tom riddle sr. doesn't actually need to have any undercurrent of sadistic, unhinged infatuation to be both morally abhorrent and canon-coherent - her treatment at her father and brother's hands would hardly have given her an understanding of consent or bodily autonomy [and might also have made her believe that drugging a man until you can totally control him is the only way to prevent him hurting you], while the fact that the state just leaves her on her own after marvolo and morfin are arrested [with - presumably - no income to speak of] means that she can be understood as seeing tom sr. as her only escape from sliding ever further down the ladder of destitution.

does that mean that she didn't also - selfishly - desire tom sr.? absolutely not. it just means that i find it much more interesting when the idea of her wanting him for herself is given equal weight with all the other things in her life which shape her character - and that i also find it much more interesting when these forces are recognised as commonplace, human, and having pretty much nothing to do with magic.

[the state would not - after all - have had to raise a wand in order to unravel the abuse to which she is subjected... since it does this all the time in the real world - and i am definitely a sucker for stories which acknowledge that the greatest flaws in the wizarding world don't depend in the slightest on magic, but on human corruption.]

if she'd survived childbirth - while i'm certainly not suggesting that i think she'd have been a flawless mother, nor that the absence of a wizarding welfare state wouldn't have made their lives incredibly difficult - i think it's legitimately implausible to suggest that she'd have done anything other than love her son as her son [so, without any incestuous vibe].

[her comment - "i hope he looks like his papa" - is, i think, meant as mrs cole takes it - that she recognises that she's someone who isn't conventionally attractive by any means, and that she knows that tom riddle sr. is.]

[uselessheretic]

When it comes to Ed and addressing his issues around things like mental health, trauma, and anger issues, I understand the kneejerk reaction to deny that he has any of those traits due to not wanting to stereotype him, but I don't think that really solves much. Ed is someone who is severely traumatized, forced into a world where he had to take care of himself from a young age, and never given a chance to learn things like healthy coping mechanisms. He's going to develop in ways that are maladaptive as he searches for a way to just survive.

A lot of the time, people will say things like "Ed doesn't have anger issues because whenever he gets mad he's valid" and I get it, I do, but it just? Doesn't work that way? When a room full of people makes fun of you, you can't just go in there and shoot everyone even if they hurt your feelings. Not just because that's a wild ass thing to argue as correct, but because it directly endangers himself and others. Even if he's fucking Blackbeard, that's still a huge risk of him being harmed. Characters like Oluwande and Frenchie would also be at risk where maybe people can't stab Blackbeard, but it's possible someone might take a chance on one of his companions if they think they're a part of this.

Denying that these problems exist doesn't do anything. It doesn't strengthen his character and it doesn't engage with him in a way that humanizes him to allow for growth. He's not gonna marry Stede and suddenly never be angry again and nobody ever makes him feel sad ever again!

I understand that the thought process here is that men of color are stereotyped to be angry and violent, and therefore, it's racist to interpret Ed as having these traits. That doesn't really solve anything though because it doesn't engage with the problem past a surface level. Moc are stereotyped as being angry... Why? Because it's a way to justify enacting state violence and control them. Sure, you can say "Ed isn't angry though so there's no need to put him through the system" but that narrows the scope down to him as an individual that relies on him never being angry to rescue him from that.

Because what happens when moc are angry? When they are violent and you're not able to just deny that and move on? Do we just abandon them?

Obviously not. When we base a person's humanity off a prerequisite that they can't embody any of the negativity the state is seeking to control, we inadvertently justify the violence imposed onto those less able to hold themselves to, frankly, impossible standards. It's another way of trying to appeal to respectability politics.

So instead of denying these parts of Ed, we can look more closely at them.

Ed's moments of anger are often prompted by him experiencing hurt. He's made fun of, he's been tricked, a snake fell on him, he feels abandoned. He has a tendency to go from zero to one hundred very quickly, and often will react to things with the same level of intensity regardless of what is actually triggering it. This makes sense though when you remember that he's a severely traumatized person who went through substantial abuse as a child! Often, people experiencing things like c-PTSD lose their ability to accurately gauge threat levels, meaning that if they want to survive, they are on constant high alert for any possible danger. Anger is a natural reaction to this, and his trigger for going off is hypersensitive as a result. Something like this helps explain why Stede leaving him, and Izzy subsequent antagonism, hit him like a fucking truck.

When Ed expresses anger, it often comes coupled with reminders of his trauma and greatest insecurities. Making fun of him for growing up in poverty, saying he can't have friends, poking at his breakup and fear of abandonment. He has direct flashbacks to his childhood with some of these, becoming forced to relieve times when he was at his most powerless. This lack of power pushes him to try and regain that control. He's not poor! He has more riches than you can shake a stick at! You can't make fun of him for how he eats, do you have any idea who he is? He's fucking Blackbeard! Choose your next works carefully, dog, and decide if you want to bring up Stede anymore.

It's instinct. As much as jerking your hand away from a burning iron. He's being hurt, he needs to make it stop.

But it doesn't work. Not only does it not work, Ed knows it too. He may have more riches, but the French captain will still view him as something vulgar. He's fucking Blackbeard, but what does it matter if the party will continue laughing at him? "There he is..." The Blackbeard who Stede abandoned, the same as always.

In a world of cartoon violence, there's little care Ed needs to afford towards the lives he takes. That's not the problem. The problem is that the harder he tries to maintain control, the more he loses it. And the less control he has, the angrier he becomes. And the angrier he is, the more desperate he becomes to keep himself safe.

Ed is playing a game rigged against him from the start. He exists in a system meant to antagonize and hurt him while surrounded by vultures waiting for him to prove them right that he does lack discipline where no matter what action he takes he loses. How could he be anything other than furious about it?

His anger is a perfectly logical reaction to his situation, and there's no point in denying that it exists like it's something shameful. Ed needs tools to help him cope with this, a support system that has his back, and an environment that nourishes him instead of constantly putting him at risk of dying.

[ceruleanwhore]

So now I'm psychoanalyzing Jin, I guess

WARNINGS: Spoilers and also TW for mentions of violence, murder, and suicide.

Ever since I started thinking about how maybe Jin isn’t actually the worst, maybe he’s just badly written, I’ve ended up kind of diving into psychoanalyzing him and now I think I can honestly say that I feel bad enough for him that I don’t dislike him anymore — he’s firmly in ‘poor little meow meow’ territory and I like pathetic men. But I just wanted to share some of that psychoanalysis here because I think y’all might appreciate it.

So I started with kinda inventorying his trauma and thinking through from what’s in the text what he would have lurking in his brain and, of course, there’s quite a lot. Growing up in abject poverty is traumatizing in and of itself, but he also had to watch his mom get sick and had to provide for them as best he could at a very young age since he couldn’t and, in the end, it wasn’t enough and she died. Then there’s the matter of learning the truth of who he is and who his father is and returning to the palace where he’d then stay and live among the same people who so violently hated his mother that they basically killed her, and then there’s Bloodstained Rose Day.

The thing with his parents, though, is that it isn’t just how he had to sit there and watch his parents fall apart and eventually die because of their doomed relationship, it’s also that day in and day out he gets to hear about how his parents never should have been together in the first place. It’s a sentiment that he internalizes so much that he makes Clause 99, and yet by saying that they never should have fallen in love, everyone is also saying that Jin never should’ve been born. Clause 99 is actually fucking depressing because it’s basically Jin saying that, if he could go back in time and prevent his parents from ever falling in love, he would, even though that would mean he wouldn’t exist. We also see this suicidal streak in Luke’s route with how his answer to that whole conflict is to just stand there and tell his brother to kill him.

I think this is largely fueled by guit, both in the case of the stuff with his parents and, more obviously, in the case of Layla’s death. I imagine that Jin might have felt responsible for his mother’s death since they were so poor and just by existing he required resources and could’ve felt like that contributed to her illness and death. There’s also the part where the king wouldn’t have spiraled the way he did if he never learned of her death from Jin and, especially since his mother did tell him to never go to the palace and he was disobeying her final request of him or whatever when he told the king the bad news, he probably blames himself for the late king’s decline. 

So what I’m seeing in terms of mental health is a bunch of PTSD and depression with passive suicidal ideation, but he doesn’t have the support system or tools to actually heal so he relies on unhealthy coping mechanisms, mainly alcohol and sex. I think that some of his biggest motivation is proving his value to himself and the people around him, like everything he does is more or less in an effort to somehow prove that his existence is worth it. It would probably be a massive internal conflict of guilt and self hatred vs. the desire to feel like, in spite of how things went for his parents, it was worth it for him to be born. We see in the story how hard he works and how valuable that work is as well as how he’s built relationships with his brothers and also takes the time and puts in the effort to get the people of Rhodolite to like him as well, and even goes so far as to try and help people from Obsidian too. 

I think the biggest example, though, is what he does in his route right after Emma arrives in the palace of forcefully inserting himself into her daily schedule by insisting on being her tutor. This annoyed me when I read it because it felt contradictory for Jin to do that after going to such lengths to avoid catching feelings and specifically trying to prevent any future Belles from falling in love with any future princes, and forced proximity is definitely bad for trying not to catch feelings for someone. However, if we think of it in this framework and consider it as a way he seeks to gain validation of his existence and worth, it makes sense because the very first thing he does is create a situation where she needs him to do exactly what he does. She passes Sariel’s test because all the questions were about what she saw when he was dragging her around town and shit but, more importantly, she then goes back to Jin and thanks him for his help and I think she even apologizes for resisting his intrusions, which is exactly the sort of validation I’m talking about.

I also think this seeking of validation is one of multiple contributing factors to his casual relationships with women. I believe it’s a combination of this desire for validation, a fear of commitment, self-soothing for all the trauma, and trying to ignore the part of him that does want the deeper intimacy of a real relationship by engaging in more casual physical intimacy. I also think that the narrative of Jin’s story takes all of those things and puts some combination of them in every interaction he has with Emma. He flirts with her when she first arrives because he wants to literally conquer his biggest fear and just fuck and dump her before he can catch feelings, he seeks validation by helping her, he goes to absurd lengths to create situations to allow himself to be around her while also trying to maintain distance to prevent feelings from developing. It all culminates in him admitting that he does want that deeper intimacy, overcoming that fear of commitment, and letting her in because he knows she’s a safe person who can give him that validation and help heal his trauma.

Now, I want to talk about Luke, Layla, and Bloodstained Rose Day. I think they tried to set up a parallel between Layla and Jin but never fully got there and the most we really get with that is how Luke is with interpersonal relationships and the part where these two are the only people he’s ever been close to. However, I do think it goes deeper than that because I think, if it were written better, Layla would be like a physical manifestation of Jin’s inner child. Just like how Layla was mortally wounded from the building collapsing and begged him to kill her in order to stop her pain, Jin’s inner child is still bleeding out somewhere inside him, begging for death just like her. I think that, when he pulled her out of that rubble and she was then bleeding out and asking him to kill her, he saw himself in her and slit her throat without hesitation, doing for her exactly what his inner child wishes he would do for himself. In the moment, I think it was more suicide than murder but then, after he did it, he then would’ve had this moment of realization that he just killed a child and that would begin the years of inner conflict about it and would contribute to stuff like his decision to make those graves.

So yeah, going through all of that psychoanalysis really helped me reach this conclusion that Jin doesn’t suck, he just isn’t written well and now I don’t hate him anymore, which is great. I just wish that the Ikemen games were better at handling their own characters because it fucking sucks that all of this and more is hidden in the text and they do nothing with it so he ends up coming across as an unlikeable dick. Especially since he is the first prince, I think it’s a real shame they did him so dirty when they had all the makings for a deep, complex, empathetic character.

[badboyportrait]

i don't know if this is too niche or personal, but as someone also from a "doomed" city with a perpetually grim future, i really love how RGG has portrayed kamurocho. in tachibana's penthouse, we're introduced to it as a beautiful glittering cityscape. when kiryu hangs out with nishiki, it's a maze of rundown buildings but the best ramen, if you know where to look. it's got a wide network of homeless people who see all. it's got scumbag billionaires and it's overrun with gang violence. yet every substory shows us NPCs with full lives despite kamurocho always threatening to collapse.

and it always is in danger. the tojo clan is ripping it apart for both kiryu and makoto in Y0. it blows up once in YK2 and almost does it a second time at the end. kiryu always comes back because some motherfucker is like "the tojo clan and kamurocho are in danger, we need your help". that's like, what it feels like? shit will happen on the news and it'll always be personal. no matter how far away you move - for kiryu, okinawa, nagoya, etc - it always holds on. it never leaves. this city and its doom will always be wrapped tightly around your heart.

but everyone's seen a tragic city. it's all over our stories. but kamurocho, despite it all, is still so lovingly rendered. kiryu can duck into alleyways and find a burger joint. he can buy ridiculously specific things at don quiote. he can play pocket circuit, he can go to arcades, he can play pool. it's a shithole of a city overrun with gang violence and poverty but it's still so full of life. despite everything you can still race cars and buy gifts for pretty women and invite your friends to karaoke. despite everything, you can still live.

like yeah, the devs probably didn't mean to appeal to this incredibly specific heartache, but i love kamurocho so much anyway. every time i run around it, it feels like home. it's a fucking disaster but it's my, and so many other characters', disaster.

to conclude, have a quote from daigo at the end of YK2.

[Image ID: A shirtless Daigo Dojima from Yakuza Kiwami 2. He's a young man with dark hair and a toned body, and he looks determined. At the bottom of the screencap, the subtitles read "Some might say I have no right saying it, but I love this city." End ID.]

[rhythmantics]

what the FUCK do you mean you wrote two of the best prototype fics AND drew some of the best art. illegal

seriously though i am in love with your characterisation, especially of all three mercer siblings. frankly your version of dr mercer is the best ive seen in the entire fandom lmao

Thank you! I'm really glad you're enjoying that terrible bastard of a man. Dr. Mercer enjoyers unite. We love this evil skinny twink

Thoughts about Mercer sibling characterization + themes of the game (under a cut because it's VERY LONG):

The thing I try to stress when writing Doc Mercer (hereto referred to as "Xander") is that yes, he is a narcissistic, vain, arrogant bastard of a man, generally irredeemable, with extremely loose and/or nonexistent morals and a terrible personality.

However, [PROTOTYPE] is a game where most of the characters are some level of fucking awful and monstrous, but their motivations are still explored, and sometimes even still justified. I mean, Alex eats people. Randall was on his way to nuke Manhattan. Blackwatch regularly laughs at being able to murder innocent civilians. A powerful moment in some of the WOI's is Blackwatch gleefully discussing killing people, while the visuals show a camp on a rooftop where the survivors have written a big "NOT INFECTED" in a bid to not be murdered by Blackwatch.

Still, there's nuance there. Alex may grow a conscience and save New York, but he's still, you know, a walking viral apocalypse that both eats people and enjoys it/thinks it feels "right." Blackwatch murders all the people they want, but at the end of the day, they ARE the line that stands between humanity and viral apocalypse. And Randall might even be justified in nuking Manhattan if it means taking Alex out, because - you know - walking viral apocalypse (and for all Randall knows, ZEUS only killed Elizabeth to establish his dominance as hive queen supreme). I don't see why Doc Mercer should be exempt from that nuance, but he so very often is.

So that as my starting point, what do we know about Doc Mercer? Well, mostly from the PRIMA guide, we have his backstory. This backstory is so hilariously awful that I legitimately don't think I'd believe you if you told me he wasn't supposed to be sympathetic.

Xander's mom is thrown in jail right after he's born, no other family is willing/able to take him in, so he's thrust into the foster care system (no father is EVER mentioned, ever)

To make matters worse, Dana's bio mentions that she moved "to New York" to follow her brother, implying that they aren't NY-born, which further implies that they're from NEW FUCKING JERSEY LOL (it's only like, an hour's bus away from Columbia U, where Xander went to college)

Xander is kicked around foster care system like a hot potato until mom is released from jail. Seems like she either got pregnant right at the end of her stint, or right as she got out; he's 10 when she regains custody of him, but 9 when Dana is born.

Dana's bio says "[Xander] was the only parent figure Dana ever knew." It also said their mother had "drinking problems." Xander raised Dana to the degree that she literally doesn't even see her mom as a parent.

"For [Xander], foster care was better." Yikes. That's definitely an implication of abuse (if the parentification weren't enough). What kind of abuse? Well, they're often bundled together, but we can make a Strong Case for extreme violence at minimum, given the following:

What was mom in jail for? A 9-year sentence implies a second-degree crime, which, uh... take your pick: aggravated assault, aggravated arson, theft of an item more than 75k$, armed burglary or burglary that results in injury or threats of injury, unlawful possession of a firearm, sexual assault. Yikes

Bio outright describes it as living in "abject poverty," so with the fact that he was LITERALLY the only parent Dana knew (a role he was forced into starting at the age of TEN), as soon as he was legally able, he probably had to take on a job in addition to school and childrearing.

Given the "abject poverty" angle, I find it doubtful that he was able to leave home until he graduated, especially given that a commute from Jersey to Columbia U could be as short as an hour. Since he graduated from his PhD at the age of 24, that means he was Dana's parent until she was fifteen. 3/4 of her life by the time of the game.

Needs to be stressed: this man changed her diapers, warmed up her formula, cooked meals for her, helped her with homework, taught her sex-ed and what puberty was, helped her get her first job, taught her how to apply for college. He is, for all intents and purposes, Dana's father. (Put a pin in that!)

Like... holy shit! This is a sympathetic character! I don't know how anyone would be able to read that in isolation and not feel bad for this guy. I mean, this is a person who has literally ALL the trauma. Like, he's in the 99th percentile of worst childhoods in America. This boy has collected PTSDs like they are pokemon.

The PRIMA guide literally says that, at the end of all that, he "trusted no one, had no friends, cared less and less what others thought of him," and was an "impatient, dark, tortured person" with a history of burning bridges. "Forever paranoid," "morally ambiguous," and "teetering on the border of sociopathy" are also used to describe him, and - yeah, of course! I mean, did you SEE his backstory? Holy shit.

And what really fascinates me about this is that, even under those circumstances? He was probably the best parent he could have been to Dana. She literally sees him as one, stuck around NYC for five years because he was just that important to her, and trusts and cares for him so deeply that she's willing to risk her life for him/willing to forgive Alex ranting about how eating people "feels right."

Some people argue that he was using Dana as a pawn, or manipulating her, etc. etc., and I really dislike this take (though, of course, everyone's entitled to their own HCs etc., especially because a lot of the PRIMA stuff was clearly rewritten by the time of the game's release). First, I think that a working college girl with a fiery personality like Dana would not have stuck around for FIVE YEARS if she didn't feel like Xander deserved it - and given that he was also ghosting her for those five years, any manipulation he had her under would have worn off. Like, it's REALLY HARD to gatekeep gaslight girlboss someone if you're no-contact with them. Also, are you trying to tell me that an eleven-year-old boy was looking at a literal 2 year old going "yes... I will raise her to trust me absolutely... as a tool for me to use in the future... and then completely ignore her calls for 5 years!" C'mon.

But the second, and more important, reason I don't agree with that take is that I feel like it strips Dana of agency and reduces her to this almost damsel-like role. Nah, man, even if Xander was not her brother/dad, she would have risked her life to help him out. Why? Because she's a fucking anarcho-socialist journalism student, that's why!

Her PRIMA bio is really interesting in that regard; I feel like the game didn't show off well enough just how awesome Dana actually is. She's studying journalism at NYU. You may have heard that her job is "writing tabloids," but that's such a simplification/misunderstanding of the text! We actually have the titles of the publications she writes for, and they are: "Everything You Know Is Wrong", "Bathsheba", and "The Military/Industrial Complex Report." Even just from that small glimpse (and the fact that she calls Blackwatch "goose-stepping motherfuckers"), I think it's evident that she's got some deeply anti-government, anti-military, anti-fascist beliefs.

Furthermore, Dana is like... kind of a terrible person. Here's a great excerpt from her bio that I feel like isn't talked about enough (emphasis mine):

"She owes money all over town, and somehow manages to sweet talk friends into lending her more. She's a hustler, good at manipulating people. Like her brother, she's narcissistic and evasive. When she doesn't like someone she'll go out of her way to make sure they know it - particularly if they push the point. She's disrespectful, foul-mouthed, and not afraid of a fight. This all serves her well when she's neck-deep in a story, but in real life, her kind of behavior only makes her one thing: enemies. In short, she's her brother's sister."

Guys, I am not normal about that last sentence. It's phrased the same way as "she's her mother's daughter" or "she's her father's son." Like. Oh my god, Xander is basically her dad.

But back on topic: Dana is characterized as a BADASS BITCH who doesn't take shit from ANYBODY and is ALREADY anti-government. She literally calls the Blackwatch shit "the story of the century." She would have taken that case on even if it weren't her brother presenting it to her, no manipulation necessary.

AND she knew the risks. I've seen it argued that Xander's to blame for "tricking" her into investigating something that put her life in danger, but I think that's unfair to him. First, I think Blackwatch would've investigated and/or disappeared Dana either way, given how trigger-happy they are. Second, she knew the risks - that's why she was using her friend's penthouse apartment as a safehouse. She was prepared to risk her life for this story; BW just moved faster than she anticipated and ambushed her at her apartment.

(And, also, like, just as an aside, we don't know if she had permission to be in her friend's place, and given her PRIMA bio, she probably didn't, like she just full-on broke into her friend's really nice apartment LOL probably even chose the friend with the nicest digs LOL)

This also serves as such an interesting glimpse into not only her and her brother's relationship, but her brother's characterization. We already know that Xander possesses good social skills to some degree, given that he has a girlfriend who was willing to risk her life for him (she went back to the lab to get something for him, which is how she got caught - let's ignore for now the ethics of dating his subordinate); he also climbed the ranks at his job, rising to Associate Director (McMullen's direct subordinate) sometime within only five years.

Dana's bio, however, confirms it. Every description of her personality becomes associated with Xander with the phrase "she's her brother's sister." Xander is a hustler; he's manipulative and gets people to do what he wants. Xander is evasive, disrespectful, and lets people feel it when he doesn't like them. Xander makes enemies. BUT.

Even in the midst of all that - his paranoia, the fact that he's having a freak-out because his coworkers are being "silenced," and that he ghosted Dana for five years in an effort to leave the past behind him... who does he trust to have his back? Dana. I need you guys to understand. He doesn't go to Dana because she's an easy tool for him to manipulate. He goes to Dana because he's scared for his life and she is the only person he trusts. I think there's a reason Alex latches onto her when he learns she exists, and part of it is definitely because the scaffold he's built on, the original Dr. Mercer, viewed Dana as unconditionally trustworthy. The feeling is mutual.

And just in case you needed some sort of in-game proof? He has at LEAST two photos of Dana on his foyer wall. Legit. Go back and rewatch that cutscene when Alex walks into Xander's apartment. He has 2-3 photos of Karen... and 2-3 photos of Dana. He's been ghosting Dana, but he keeps photos of her on his wall, where he sees them every day, right next to where he works. One of the Dana photos is also the only photo that Xander is not in. I just... he loves his sister. He's just too mentally ill to be normal about it and keep in contact.

So, we have here pretty much Xander's ONLY redeeming quality: cares about his sister! That's it. That's all he's got. Let's talk about some other irredeemable stuff.

So far, I've talked a lot about the PRIMA guide, but now I'm going to talk about what's in the actual game, because it's quite interesting, and I don't think all of it made it into the fandom zeitgeist. It's too bad, because this one major fact really adds a shitton of nuance to this character:

Xander was out of the loop.

Xander did not know anything about Hope, Idaho. Xander did not know that Blackwatch existed. Xander didn't even fucking know that his human test subjects were deliberately infected. Within day one, Alex knows more about the conspiracy surrounding Blacklight than Xander ever did. And we know exactly how much he knew about the virus because he mailed Dana a laptop containing everything he was able to find, and it pretty much got as far as "MOTHER is named Elizabeth Greene" and "Hope, Idaho existed...?" We have a WOI where Randall expresses concern over even giving Xander access to MOTHER, and a WOI where Xander is pissed the hell off when he finds out that their human subjects were not naturally infected. He didn't know!

That suddenly casts his role in Blacklight's production in a much less nefarious light. Look at this job from Xander's point of view: You're a 24 year old who completed an 8-year college run (undergrad and PhD) in six years, WHILE raising a teenage girl and probably while working, too. At graduation, you get offered this insanely cushy job, with a threat that you'll be blacklisted from the industry if you refuse (this literally happened to Dr. Ragland, according to his PRIMA bio). It's a top-secret government job. The government's not great, but you have loose morals, and it can't possibly be worse than Albert Einstein building the atom bomb. So. Whatever.

(On top of that, they're already lying to you abour what the project's purpose is. Xander states he "didn't know" what he was working on until he "figured it out," and there's a WOI where one employee raves that the virus could be used to cure every disease on earth. It seems there was a general vibe that they were probably working bio-weapons, but no one knew FOR SURE, and a contributor to Xander's meltdown is the fact that his research results just... vanish. He doesn't know what they're being used for.)

Plus, holy shit, the pay. Xander is making, like, seven figures by the time he's 29. He lives in an apartment on the Upper East Side (where Gossip Girl takes place lol). The average price for a one-bedroom there is, like, 4000$ a month. This man spent 24 years in brutal poverty; the money matters to him.

On top of that, the stuff they're doing at GENTEK? Of course, it's stomach-turning, but it wouldn't clock as inherently unethical. Xander's fury at learning that MOTHER was a test subject, and not naturally infected (as he's been led to believe), implies that they were NOT infecting people at GENTEK. The bodies we see in WOI, their test subjects, were already infected by the time they got there, supplied to GENTEK with a cover story, that the virus was one they'd found naturally, and that these people - whose brains were fried by the virus - were just unlucky victims of random happenstance. Furthermore, making viruses more dangerous is legitimate virology. It's called "gain-of-function" experimentation, and while it is controversial (for obvious reasons), it's still something you would potentially be doing at an above-board lab.

That means that, prior to Penn Station, the worst Xander can be accused of is being a bootlicker, class traitor, who knowingly worked on WMDs for the US government. And yeah, that is monstrously evil, and Albert Einstein is a monster by that metric, but it's a level of evil that's matched or surpassed by almost every other character in the game. Dana and Ragland are the two exceptions, maybe Karen too, depending on whether you think her low hierarchical position absolves her of any sin. McMullen and everyone at Blackwatch are all more culpable than Xander. They're the ones giving him orders - he's the low man on the totem pole!

And his reaction upon realizing how deep the rabbit hole goes? It's not asking to join up with the evil side. It's not going out to do a terrorism (even if that's how it ends up). It's blowing the whistle. His first instinct is to go to his sister, the anti-government, anti-military journalism student. And as he spirals into panic and anxiety, it's to escape the city, while warning someone - probably Dana - to "get out of there". Even McMullen says, when Alex confronts him, "you were always so smart. You were ready to give up all our secrets. [...] We were trying to figure it out -- you just wanted to bring it all down." The class traitor was about to redeem himself. His motivations might still be selfish - to punish the people who lied to him, to save his own ass - but he's not a cartoon villain.

It's only after he's cornered, staring down guns, realizing that all his efforts were futile, possibly even realizing that Dana is next, that he smashes the vial. AND EVEN THEN... I think we're supposed to understand why he did it. Not sympathize, necessarily, but... look at his life. Abandonment, abuse, parentification. Skipping meals to make sure Dana can eat. Running on a sleep deficit because homework has to be done after helping Dana with hers after coming home from work after going to school. His wealth and girlfriend are hollow victories when he can't trust people enough to make friends. He loves his sister, enough to keep her photos on his foyer wall, but can't bear engaging with her as an adult on equal footing. He thought he'd finally caught a break, only for it to turn out to be a death trap from the start. Yes, choosing to smash the vial was an irredeemable action, a selfish, vindictive, and evil choice; however, I don't think he could have chosen differently. Dr. Mercer was not necessarily intended to be a sympathetic character (although he was), but he was certainly, bare-minimum, intended to be a tragic one.

It seems like the game went through several rewrites, and those rewrites confuse a pretty major plot beat: does the virus Xander releases at Penn Station burn itself out, or does it go on to become the main virus on the streets of Manhattan? This question, and where you personally fall on it, is really important. And that's because... if the virus burns itself out in Penn Station (which apparently the writer confirmed on Twitter, but there's evidence in the game to suggest the opposite), then that means Xander has one of the lowest body counts in the game.

Yeah, you heard me. Let's say the virus burns itself out in Penn Station. How many people would that even be? A few thousand? In 2009, Penn Station served about 300,000 people per day. That is really busy, but obviously, not all of those people - or even a majority of those people - are going to be in the station at any given time. It's probably a number around four digits. Um, how many people does Alex kill over the course of the game, again? Obviously, the in-game kill counts can't exactly be trusted, because you can rack up millions depending on how much you fuck around, but it's generally agreed that he's in the tens of thousands, between all the military bases he destroys, civilians he eats, and soldiers he cuts through. Randall has been confirmed to have ordered the glassing of both Hope, Idaho, AND Two Bluff, Arizona, with an attempt on Manhattan. (Cross also mentions a Kentucky in one of the cut lines, implying there's more cities and casualties than we even know about.) There are 1.6 million people living in Manhattan in 2009, so Randall was about to kill, like, a thousand times more people than Xander.

It also means he never put Dana in danger. If it's a virus that burns out on its own, he - the person whose work was "years ahead of his nearest competitor" - would know that it wouldn't reach her. And it would make sense if it burns out, too, because it's a bio-weapon. Not a great bio-weapon if it causes a a whole-ass apocalypse! And I also don't think it's fair to blame Xander for Alex letting Elizabeth Greene out of her cage, because by that point, 1) Xander is dead, 2) Dana sent Alex there, 3) Alex is a fully sapient and independent being who is not under Xander's orders because Xander is dead. I mention this because I've literally run into people who believe that the virus burned itself out at Penn Station, BUT ALSO that Xander releasing the vial directly put Dana in danger of infection AND that Elly's rampage is somehow his fault. You can't have it both ways!

That's actually why I don't believe that the virus burned itself out. Narratively and thematically, it's much better if Xander did release his virus knowing that it might cause a full-on apocalypse. That does make it so that he risked his sister's life (although you can argue that he figured she was as good as dead, anyways, given that they'd tracked him down - I don't, since I think he was too busy panicking and being sleep-deprived to be thinking about that), and it DOES make the entire ensuing tragedy his fault. And the reason that this is important is because of Xander's role as a "father" to Alex.

Here's something else that's important to note, which I often see overlooked: Alex places the blame on the shoulders of Randall, not Xander. "You bastard," he says after he's eaten Randall. "You could have stopped all this - you let it happen." Meanwhile, here's what he actually says about Xander: "what Mercer did is beyond forgiveness," and at the end of the game, "Alex Mercer. This city suffered for his mistakes, for what he did at Penn Station. And whoever he was - that's a part of me." We aren't supposed to think he's unilaterally evil without nuance. Pretty much everyone, Alex included, has done things "beyond forgiveness" in this game. We're instead supposed to ponder what it means to be derived from his stock.

What is Alex's characterization? To be frank, Alex is a dumbass baby. I know that this is not necessarily popular, but I genuinely believe that it's intentional. There are literally cut lines from the very first mission that REALLY drive home that this poor guy has NO IDEA what's going on. Begging people to stop shooting at him, thinking to himself "where's a place with a lot of people?" (honey, you're in NYC), and generally going "what was that? how did this happen? what's going on? what? huh? what?"

There's also needing Ragland to suggest to him the novel idea of breaking both spines on the leader hunters, and following Phone Voice into a death trap, and then still listening to Phone Voice a second time, not to mention how awkwardly he shrugs his way out of Karen Parker's hug, or how he's constantly pushing himself all the way into Dana's personal space/startling her/disappearing while no one's watching. There's a point where his brilliant plan for getting McMullen to land is to disable some infection detectors... while standing ankle-deep in biomass... looking up at McMullen. He's just, ah, ehm... not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you replay the game with that in mind, it... yeah. I mean. His first instinct upon being attacked by helicopters is to go up onto the roof of a building, where he is surprised by... more helicopters. Who left this child unattended? Where are your guardians.

I know I'm exaggerating - Alex does show remarkable flexibility and adaptability and on-the-fly problem-solving sometimes - but when the PRIMA bios and McMullen repeatedly stress that Xander is clever, manipulative, a schemer, a hustler, "so smart," it really highlights how... straightforward Alex is in comparison. You cannot tell me that Alex, as he's presented in-game, is "a lateral thinker - plans within plans."

And the interesting thing is, this actually seems like a fairly late-stage change! The original PRIMA guide blurb for "The Prototype" seems to suggest that he is actually an amnesiatic Dr. Mercer, not a wholly separate entity. It goes on and on about how "The Prototype" is cool, calm, dry and witty, always in control of his body, etc. etc., but that really doesn't match the in-game characterization at all (he's consistently characterized as awkward, unsure of himself), meaning that I think this is more proof that a characterization as "fucking idiot dumbass baby" was intentional.

Sampling of cut voice lines:

"Ghost Twelve, Ghost Twelve... oh, shit, that's my callsign..."

"Aw, I hate D-Codes..."

"They think I'm dead. Perfect. I can't wait to see the look on McMullen's face."

"I need to get somewhere with a lot of people... somewhere where they can't just keep firing at me."

"Where is there a lot of fucking people? Where?" (girliepop you live in NEW YORK)

"Just remember! This was your idea!"

like. cmon, man.

That being said, Alex is not innocent. He starts the game without a conscience, easily and effortlessly killing people, instinctively eating them, too. He's quite literally built upon two existing minds - the people-eating virus, and the sociopathic misanthrope. I think this is why he defaults to shoving people and has no option to put them down gently - he's filled with Xander's rage, his hatred, and his casual cruelty. One of his earliest lines is this: "revenge was the only clear thought in my head. The only one I could call mine." LITTLE DOES HE KNOW. He continues. "I wanted to find out what happened to me. The reason. Someone to blame. Someone I could punish."

And now we get into a major theme of the game, my thesis: [PROTOTYPE] is about family. It's about nature vs. nurture, it's about the cycle of abuse, and it's about how the people who raise us, shape us. Xander is the "father" of this story; he's consistently placed in that role relative to Dana, and Alex directly inherits his genetics, his appearance, his name, and even his initial personality from him. And as for the mother... there is literally a character in the game named MOTHER.

Alex is, in a very literal way, the child of Xander and Elizabeth Green. He was born out of a fusion of their DNA - the virus infecting Xander's body. Elizabeth also literally says "I am your MOTHER" in their first meeting. And as if that weren't enough, Elizabeth's relationship to Alex directly mirrors Xander's relationship with his own mother: the first thing Elizabeth does is abandon Alex, and when she returns, it's only to threaten Dana's safety and torment him. Xander himself becomes a mirror to his own absent father, disappearing before he ever got to know his son. This is the cycle of abuse, the tragedy that occurs when someone who was abused becomes trapped by it, and has no ability to operate outside its confines, perpetuating the pain that was inflicted upon them.

However... something's different. Alex is not left alone to suffer like Xander does. He has Dana - a parental figure who loves him unconditionally, whom he loves unconditionally in turn. And she is the impetus for his ability to change, the one who most directly molds his burgeoning consciousness. His interactions with Dana are brief, but even in those brief interaction, she teaches him empathy ("my god, [Elizabeth]'s just a girl. What kind of fucking monsters are these people?"), kindness/mercy ("whoa, whoa, whoa. [Ragland]'s a good guy"), and trust ("look, no matter what, you're still my brother"). Let's go back to our pin. Xander is Dana's "father" also... and he was the best one she could have had, given the circumstances. Dana represents breaking the cycle. Dana represents Xander's single redeeming quality.

In other words... the key difference between Alex and Xander is that Alex has an adult figure in Dana that he can trust and rely upon, something Xander never had... because Xander was that for Dana. Xander broke the cycle. That's the one good thing he managed to do.

Now, we know that lots of rewrites happened, that final boss stuff got shifted around, and things got moved into a sequel hook, like Dana's fate or PARIAH's whole deal. However, I think we can almost piece together what it might have been if we follow this thematic line of thinking. Because here's something quite interesting: PARIAH... is in foster care. A child who kills everything he touches, abandoned and trapped, a monster, whose only use is as an agent of evolution, a direct parallel for Xander at his worst - this tortured man who "found solace only in his work", for whom foster care was better, who teetered on sociopathy and didn't care. Randall represents the government, the system, that put him there - the first ones to ever screw Xander over. So if we assume that the final boss was originally PARIAH, and Alex still needs to eat his way through Elizabeth and Randall to get to him, then an incredibly interesting thing happens when we view that sequence of events from this thematic perspective.

Alex would triumph over MOTHER, the government, and Xander's worst. The crystallization of the fleeting love within Xander's heart - the one redeeming facet of Xander's personality - would overcome his abusive mother, the cold-hearted system that forsook him, and even his own worst traits, the monster he was molded into. Quite literally, love would win. And I think this would have even tied in to curing Dana - that this would become a major facet of Alex's motivation - that he'd need PARIAH in order to cure her, or something like that. Dana - kindness, empathy, and love, breaking the cycle of abuse - becomes the impetus for Alex to change, to become a better person, to grow a conscience, to trust others. I think that's the central theme of this game.

Xander's shadow looms large over the entirety of [PROTOTYPE]'s story. There are more themes than just family, but it's the one I wanted to highlight, because I think it's the one most central, most core to the game's emotional experience. At every turn, you can feel the ghost of Xander - not just because Alex is literally wearing his corpse.

I'll restate here the relevant parts of Alex's closing monologue:

"I looked for the truth. Found it. Didn't like it. Wish to hell I could forget it. Alex Mercer. This city suffered for his mistakes, for what he did at Penn Station. And whoever he was - that's part of me."

Xander is Alex's father - the person from whom he inherited his base nature. But Alex is able to grow beyond that - to trust others, to love others.

"What have I become? Something less than human. But also something more."

Xander was so tormented by his past, by his abandonment, neglect, and abuse, that he was unable to face his sister. Terrified of the pain of abandonment, he chose to abandon her rather than risk being rejected when she became an adult. And yet, he loved his sister. That's the nuance of this character, the legacy he leaves. One of cruelty, but also one of kindness. Both are inherited by Alex - it's fair to say that everything Alex is has been shaped by Xander, his father. The bad... but also the good. And it is because of that miniscule, faltering, fleeting "good" that Xander was able to procure, that Alex is able to rise above what Xander became.

TL;DR: It would be appropriate, both narratively and thematically, to call Xander "daddy".

[bisolationist]

"what about being attracted to BOTH sexes makes bisexuals more prone to physical/mental health issues, violence, poverty etc?"

this wasn't @ me but I wanna tackle this anyway

idk! I really don't know. there's one theory below!

but the statistics at this point have been confirmed by multiple independent studies. even if you say that's just because bisexuals choose to be near hets more often, that still means that the context and conditions of bisexuality set us up for abuse and material decline. otherwise you might as well say well homophobia only exists because homosexuals have to be near homophobes. of course the people in our lives cause what we experience.

thats an explanation, yet people treat this as if it's a good reason to ignore or dismiss these statistics. they get as far as "well its just homophobia, biphobia doesn't exist" but never ever seem to reach "but bisexuals do suffer serious homophobia".

there's always this search to qualify and diminish the homophobia against us. it's "misdirected", "peripheral", "non-core", "not Real (TM) homophibia", whatever. endless qualifiers and excuses why when they're abandoned, abused, or assaulted it's a tragedy but when it happens to us we should stop whining about it and thinking we experience anything "real".

I also wanna know, if bisexuals can escape all homophobia so sooo easily as she claims, why are the domestic violence rates of bi women so through the roof? they should be no different than hets once het partnered according the theory she professes. if they cared about material effects all of these physical/mental health issues, domestic violence, and sexual assault rates should hold some weight on that bisexuality isn't as universally beloved and accepted as they claim... yet these statistics never seem to raise concern. they only statistic they seem to want to site is that we're all het married lol. ok well why is the homophobia these het married bisexuals you bring up to shit on the rest of us less serious anyway? fuck off.

and again. if you think bisexuals just experience homophobia, why do these people not treat their anons saying that bisexuals need to stop whining about their rape like homophobes? I mean its homophobic full stop to mock the sexual assault of survivors by homophobes, no? but they know it's different and treat it with acceptance and understanding, not anger, because they're sympathetic to the idea that bisexuals just don't suffer that much when they're abused.

and for the millionth time, I'm not saying bisexuals are more oppressed, nor that het relationships arent a privilege. of course they are. but the way people want to diminish abuse against bi people is ridiculous lol.

[alexissara]

TTRPG Characters Need Trauma In Their Backstories.

I saw someone post online that you can make a TTRPG character with no trauma in their backstory and I want to say that it's wrong, online, because it is. Like in the most literal sense you could make a character who lives in an utterly utopian world but how many TTRPG campaigns are about living in a Utopia hanging out with your friends enjoying a day with no conflict? However, I want to engage with the idea of trauma here, what it is, why it's actually important to address and why the idea of a trauma free character irks me so much.

What Is Trauma?

Trauma isn't just the angsty back story of a little boy seeing his whole Ninja Clan murdered by his big brother or having a dragon eat his pet dog and now he's on a quest for vengeance. Trauma is part of existing in this world. Trauma is part of existing in this world, Hierarchy, Homophobia, Transphobia, Racism, Violence, Poverty, Struggle all of these things lead to trauma. Existing outside the norm can be traumatic as you are faced with the norm in general. Trauma is existing in a world with conflict.

Even if your character has never faced bigotry personally, if it exists in the world there is a trauma inherit to knowing it exists in the world. That effects how you come to terms with who you are, how you present to others, how you can engage in relationships with others, how you relate to each others from the same group. Even if everyone accepts your character as they come out as Trans and the world doesn't have transphobia, the process itself can be a traumatic, dealing with dysphoria, watching your body grow and change but not be where you want it to be, that alone can be a little traumatic.

Then there is violence, the majority of people in this discussion are D&D players and violence is kinda inherent to that system as it is to most TTRPG systems. if your going out and killing things, even if there wild animals, it is traumatic to end a life. Another living thing had to die for you to eat, that is reality sometimes but having to kill it that is a process that maybe can be moved into a spiritual belief but it is in the moment, a touch of trauma. Not to mention when we get into fighting and potentially killing other sentient life that can talk to you. If your killing a hoard of green people because being born green makes you evil or whatever it is that happens in the dungeons that's still ending life, life people who live a life outside of whatever it is their doing that is the sin in which they must be murdered. That's traumatic. Even if you never kill the blood, the threat to your own life, that is traumatic.

Then there is money, if money exists then either you've been lucky, privileged or your just lying when you say there has been no trauma. Knowing there are things you want that you simply can't have because you don't have the coin to get it. Living in conditions that could be better. Missing meals or having to work for those meals lest you starve is traumatic. Even a fairly stable life that requires your labor OR ELSE you die is still traumatic. Just because no one is holding a gun to your head doesn't mean that the struggle to stay alive doesn't fucking hurt.

The Inherent Propaganda Of Worlds Without Trauma

When you start saying my character can have no trauma we start to excuse the systems of control, that if you aren't happy, that is in some way your own fault or someone else's fault, that we could just simply live without that. If your world has kingdoms how can you not have trauma if your in the under classes having to labor for your land, to your right to live? Saying well we have a very good ruler is making propaganda that monarchy can work, that a very good ruler could make everyone's lives very perfect and that this system is fine and good actually.

Similarly in a modern super hero game saying like there is no racism but there is jails and criminals says these systems are justified that oppress people by race and were created to oppress people by race but they don't have to. You start to make a myth that there are people who do crimes for purely crime reasons and that they need to be put away in a box and have their agency removed and that these people deserve the torture of a restricted existence. It ignores the root cause of crime and the systemic functions of these systems in favor of "wholesome content".

If we have some future with companies still existing and money still existing but we're living like a perfect scifi life then we're saying the system of capitalism can be reformed. We're creating a justification for a system that oppresses people.

I could keep going and going with examples but ultimately ignoring that trauma exists all together is myth making and unless this world is utopian

Deep Trauma Doesn't Mean No Fun

The last thing I want to talk about is Deep Trauma, the kind of trauma that people probably actually mean when they say they want more TTRPG characters that don't have trauma. The I was hate crimed, I was an orphan, I was a child solider, my brother killed my Ninja clan shit. That doesn't mean the character can't be silly, fun, wholesome, sweet or amazing.

The thief who had to steal to eat and live can still be silly, fun, and light hearted, I mean Disney has made two princes that are wholesome little thief guys but they had a traumatic backstory. it just doesn't linger on it.

Queer people alive right now have dealt with tons of oppression but can still be ridiculously funny, insightful, friendly, and upbeat. Even as we actively face a wave of hate the majority of a lot of our lives is being happy and just being ourselves. There are moments of sorrow for some a lot more than a moment but that doesn't mean they aren't nice to be around.

When we start staying someone who has suffered a lot is inherently bad for our tables we're saying in a sense that people who have had hard lives suck to be around. We're pretending that trauma makes you unpleasant. People who have suffered a lot can be your best friend, your partner, your pal, your family, by saying these deep sorrows are annoying or bad inherently and not just played badly we say a lot about the people we want in our lives and what we find acceptable in a human experience.

[From Thirsty Sword Lesbians by Marty Tina G.]

Closing Thoughts

Say what you mean when you say you don't want characters with Trauma at the table which is probably, you don't want an angst fest or a pity party or to delve deep into hard topics or even topics that are out of your lane. Say the things you don't want to engage with and the tone you want to set. That doesn't mean trauma doesn't exist though because it's just part of the air we breath.

People are complicated and messy and we deserve to explore the breath of human existence at the table. There are games about just living a good little life but especially when we're in the context of games about fighting things I find it just so frustrating to see the idea that it is even possible to exist without some kind of trauma.

Let's all have fun in TTRPGs but let's also be critical about what we're saying with the TTRPGs we play or we we are trying to "normalize" at our tables. If you want to help me pay for my Trauma recovery you can give me money over on Patreon or Ko-fi, I sure do live paying for meds and stuff so please consider it if you got the cash.

[mytalemyworld]

Omg, that exchange between them.

Alaz: You're going to tell me what you're up to. Yaman: Do I become your brother now?! This has nothing to do with you. Alaz: I see. This is deep, your emotions run high. Now I am getting more curious. Yaman: Fuck off, don't get involved. Alaz: We are past that. I am already involved. Either you tell me what's going on or I'll call mom and say the big bro is carrying a gun. Yaman: Then I will rip your head off.

Alaz as usual talks in an annoying way but you can see he gets worried. His eyes are a little bit teary too. He finds himself in a sensitive situation when he least expects, he says "we're past that, it already happened". First with Asi, now with Yaman.

Btw, I find their brotherhood dynamic a little adorable. Because you know Alaz acts like an elder brother around Çağla and Ece, he wants to protect them, take care of them. But with Yaman he can be annoying little brother. Like this.

Alaz: Mom, I am playing cowboys with Yaman and suddenly I think of you- Yaman: He's talking nonsense as usual. Everything is all right, don't worry.

Lol, playing cowboys is a child game, he already implies there might be gun involved.

I don't know what to think about this plot. I mean, yeah, they grew up in the streets, they must have experienced bad things, but honestly I always thought this was more about poverty and violence. This was implied. However in this scene you can see there's more than that and this wasn't implied before if I am not wrong. That's why I don't know what they are planning now.

This Zafer guy could be abuser, human trafficker, organ mafia?? We really don't know who he is because they didn't show what Yaman told Alaz. Alaz ended up crying too, so this is more serious than I thought.

[trashcanalienist]

Alright fellas I watched the 3pac movie again and now that I've refined my thoughts I am going to share them (tornado warning)

Let's start with Miguel. Or really, with Nueva York. Beautiful, futuristic utopia, endless green grass and distant white skyscrapers against the blue sky, and for all of that there is not a single note of life within it. It's empty, just a hollow monument to "good", like Miguel himself. And like Miguel, its underbelly is dark and chaotic and unknowable - sunless tunnels cluttered with motorways and nothing else, the grinding gears of some unbearably massive machine that doubtless keeps the whole city running in its blind pretense of life, the gears of which visually threaten to crush Miles. Because Miguel O'Hara is a fucked up guy who is not only willing to be so violent against a 15-year-old child, but NEEDS to be. In true vampiric fashion (disclaimer: he's not a vampire) Miguel has an obsession beyond obsession, a predatory drive which must be fulfilled - but not for blood. For vengeance. Because he's already killed an entire universe of human beings. He's stolen a family he was never supposed to have, and then killed them all through his selfishness. And he has to make that someone else's fault. He has to be the Good Guy to live with himself, but inside he is the most detestable of monsters.

(Miguel and Uncle Aaron have a lot in common (inverted) especially with their emotional impact on Miles. He thought he could look up to both of them - but Uncle Aaron failed in regret, and Miguel seeks to amend his failures through more damage. Important that Miguel's theme is distorted synth, the same distortion which they used to create the Prowler theme)

Meanwhile Uncle Aaron acted the monster, but as Miles puts it he was a genuinely good guy underneath. He had no interest in being the kind of black man that Jeff is - slotting into white society, that is - and inevitably that got him pulled into being the Prowler. Everything's contained in what he said to Miles in his last moments. Every single Uncle Ben says the classic line, "With great power comes great responsibility", etc etc, telling Peter Parker to knock off the ego and be the kind of hero the city needs. But Miles is already that person. Uncle Aaron says "You're the best of us. You're on your way up. Just keep going."

Before he became Spiderman, Miles actively did not want to go to Visions Academy because he WANTS his ghetto friends, he WANTS his low-income Black Spanish life. He was perfectly happy to waste his intelligence and talent because he never figured he'd get anywhere to begin with. But now he's got a greater purpose in helping people, in being the best he can because no one else has the power to be Spiderman. When Uncle Aaron says "You're the best of us", he doesn't just mean their family. Miles managed to escape the pull of gang violence and the twisted honor-and-glory appeal of thug life and the oily black tendrils of poverty entwined around his legs. He shook off everything that we now know was supposed to be his destiny, and he has never looked back.

But in doing so he doomed Miles G to that very fate. The first movie didn't touch much on that aspect of urban blackness, likely because white audiences would not care. But now you love Miles! You ain't got a choice now! They tricked you, man!

42 Miles, or Miles G. Morales as he's credited, has experienced a greater loss with nothing to hold on to besides the structure of gang violence within a falling, burning city. His father is dead, both stripping him of that moral figure and discounting all the ideas that Jeff tried to instill into his son - because those are the beliefs that got him killed. If you don't wanna get killed, you better get some power and some respect, and never let go of either. Uncle Aaron, still the original Prowler, steps in as Miles G's father figure, making sure Rio's financially okay and not too stressed, reassuring her that "We're family". Family is everything, it's the only bond they have, and Miles G would do anything for his mother. Anything at all. The voice actor leans more into the Puerto Rican accent, rolling the R's and accentuating S's, whereas our Miles talks more black even when he's speaking Spanish - his father's absence, and his love for his mother above all else.

He's the man of the house now. He's gotta provide, and he's gotta take care of his mother. 15 years old, Miles G has design schematics for the current Prowler gloves posted on the wall of his room - it's a far more active part of his normal life than with our Miles, who keeps his Spidermanning entirely separate (for now). It's bleeding into his everyday, infecting his soul with every heist, collection, and murder that he carries out. It's not Uncle Aaron's fault. He loves his nephew, and without his father around, he wants the kid to have respect, to not have to work his way up from nothing, so he passes him the mantle. Uncle Aaron was undoubtedly drawn into that life by something similar. That's how the cycle self-perpetuates. The result is a 15-year-old kid with the eyes of a combat veteran.

Here is a kid who does not hesitate, who does not forget or make mistakes, who jumped into this life headfirst because he knows there is no other choice. For him there is no way out, and he is far from the only one.

Ain't no love in the heart of the city. Red light pouring in from the fires outside and the soul-death inside, the bloody inevitability, the need to protect themselves and their own because no one else will. This violence is the only pathway. Violent death will come whether or not you follow it. And staring into his own face and yet much older eyes, our Miles is just beginning to realize exactly what he's escaped and what Liv's collider portal doomed this kid and this world to, all because of a tiny little spider. And he has switched fates, as in the first film his Spidey-Sense started out as green and purple, then turned red and blue as he vibed with Peter. Over the course of a few seconds, we witnessed his destiny change. The colors of this interplay between worlds are green and purple, green and purple, the Prowler's colors.

And red, as Miguel tried to ensure that fate (execution) is carried out. Miguel blames Miles as the "original anomaly", yet he conveniently ignores the spider, or Doc Ock who brought it over and started this whole mess, or Kingpin who funded her. Miguel is willing to physically attack a black child for his own misplaced regret and self-loathing. Beyond that, I genuinely believe that if he had reached Miles in the Go-Home machine, he would have killed him. The madness in those ripping claws is not something stopped by the sudden softness of flesh. It's only Spider-Byte who stops him - she (black female tech-heavy Spiderman, vibed with Miles instantly on those principles and others) could have shut down the machine and trapped Miles. But he looked at her, and she saw that he was a terrified child, and she knew that Miguel is incapable of mercy or critical thought, and maybe she wanted to believe in him. So she hesitated, most important savior Time.

Before we move on too far, back to Miguel and Miles. Miguel's fangs secrete a paralyzing venom - probably he was trying to incapacitate Best Vulture using that, although with the bestial transformation of his silhouette perhaps he didn't care if he ripped Vulture's throat out by accident. Regardless, he only seems to use this as the definitive way to End Fights. Miles has a similar ability in his venom blast or whatever he calls it. I swear the word "static" was in there somewhere. The difference is, Miles uses it as a defensive mechanism, not offensive (Armadillo guy aside). He uses it to get out of bad situations and continue the fight, to break down barriers and temporarily stun his opponents so he can break free and recover. We see him preparing to do this at the end of this movie, too.

Again, Miguel needs to view himself as the superior protector of all universes in order to pretend like his mistake is in any way acceptable. Beyond that, he blames Miles for it, so that he does not have to forgive himself/Miles, he can just eliminate the problem and pretend it's all over. Miguel the controller uses his ability as the be-all end-all, whereas Miles uses it as just one method among many in his arsenal.

Now. The only named black Spider who doesn't vibe with Miles is Jess Drew, but that's explicable by the following reasons. First of all, she's pregnant - Miguel destroyed his stolen kids by breaking canon, and neither Peter B nor Jess want to risk their own new families by going against Miguel's canon laws. Secondly, she's a black woman who is basically Miguel's right hand (within the fact that he cannot and will not ever trust anyone else with this "responsibility" he claims for himself), and there's not much to be gained from abandoning that, especially in context of the first point.

You know who does vibe with Miles?

HOBIE

MOTHERFUCKING 

BROWN

Hobie fucking loves Miles right from the start. He's only in the Spider-Society because he knows Miguel's insane and his actions and orders are inhumane and all kinds of fucked up. But Hobie's basically alone in that knowledge, as even Gwen still wants to believe that it could be a good thing, and so he's just infiltrating, learning more and stealing shit to recreate Miguel's technology without Miguel's restrictions. And when Miles comes along and starts speaking out against that shit, he loves it. He encourages it. And he uses Miles' distraction to slip off and put his own plan into action.

From the second he meets Miles he's looking out for the kid. Part of that's because he's true punk (incredible to see, especially with him being black and this movie being so commercialized by its marketing/sales teams) but part of it is that he recognizes Miles. Hobie probably also has a static venom ability, since he's the one who tells Miles that it works better using the whole hand (and reminds him, later, while everyone else is telling him to calm down or hang in there and only Hobie is still on his side telling him silently to fight back). It's possible even that since he used his guitar to break the forcefield barrier, and since it is not plugged in to anything but still makes electric guitar noises, that the guitar acts as a sort of amplifier for that power.

He never tells Miles what to think, he just encourages him TO think. And he's always there with his own laconic opinion to point out how fascist Miguel's little Spider Utopia is to anyone not a Spider - and anyone who disagrees with Miguel the Controller. More personally he indirectly asks if Miles has a safe home to go back to, and he STAYS THERE when Miguel's being a dick to a 15-year-old kid.

There's more to recognition than that, though. See, Hobie Brown also escaped the fate of becoming the Prowler. The original Prowler, since inception and for most of the comics' runs, has been a black man named Hobart Brown. Hobie as Spider-Punk is and always has been a subversion of the black male stereotypes that led to the creation of the Prowler (very normal and not racist name there by the way), and without losing any of his Blackness or masculinity or Black masculinity. Hobie and Miles have more in common than any other Spiders, because they've both beaten that expected fate of black men to fall eagerly into violence and gang warfare and criminal careers. And Miguel wants Miles to feel unworthy of that escape - he wants Miles to believe that he does not belong in a chosen betterment; that all he was ever meant for is poverty and wasted talent and endless violence.

But Miles won't let that happen! "I'ma do my own thing," and he's got that confidence in himself now. And Hobie's got his back cause things are finally moving, he's not alone in trying to dismantle Miguel's fucked up utopia with the gears of that great machine beneath grinding up anomalies and black children to keep it all running so flawlessly on the surface. Miguel lives in "Nueva York", he's never had to subvert much, the darkness within him is not that which he keeps at bay via that injection, it is the monstrosity which he lets fester and flourish under the name of "dedication". Miles comes in and disrupts that perfect lie in about ten minutes, he's already boiling and he won't accept a fate he does not want when he's already escaped it once before.

Hobie's been hanging around for some time, making himself appear lazy and carelessly destructive to hide his far greater intentions. As long as Miguel "just can't" with him, he's being underestimated, and as long as that is the case he is free to undermine and plot and replicate as much as possible. That's black intelligence. "Man like Miles!"

Good movie basically

[magnoliamyrrh]

theres something deeply disingenous abt how whenever some issue gets brought up let's say abortion for example ppl on this website wanna pretend like white american women have nothing to say on it and wont be impacted and as if white american women have experienced like, no opression in america. as if till VERY RECENTLY they had no right to vote, to say no to sex in marriage, own a bank account, get abortions - hey, remember too when white women literally had to kneel in front of their husbands and beg their sins to be forgiven, and when they put those god awful mechanical cages on their faces to force them to smile?

yea. listen. i have my issues w many of them too for sure. but this sort of attitude is detached from reality

are we still aware Many white women exist in this country who are poor? like, poor as shit. who will Most definitely and Have Already Been impacted by the abortion laws bc they dont have the money to simply leave the state to another one to get an abortion (and also, bc the governments have made it illegal to do so). Can we not pretend that there arent white women who live in grueling poverty, especially in the rust belt and other such places where there are entire communities forgotten by everyone in deep poverty? can we not pretend white teenage girls dont get raped and forcibly impregnated? can we not pretend many of them dont come from very conservative families which either never gave them the education to know about sex and abortion, or would not allow them to get one? can we not pretend that white women arent still experiencing domestic abuse and rape and other forms of male violence in this country, also, one of them being being killed by men the moment they find out theyre pregnant?

even like "rich white women" in which case the conversation stops actually being predominantly about race but is now Actually about class status and yes, there are minority women w money. even rich women and them rich white women and Girls are susceptible to domestic abuse, rape, and violence, as well as having insane conservative families which would flip their shit if they found out they had an abortion. And yes, many of those conservative families Wont make an exception for their daughters and will absolutely force their little girls and teenagers, wether it be rape or consensual, to Not get an abortion and carry out a pregnancy till the end. Also, theres plenty of cases in which higher class women are so not because they have their own independent money but bc of their husbands money, which again makes the idea that they can just willy nilly skip town to another state for an abortion easily unrealistic and detached from reality. Yes. there Are Definetely cases in which economic status means a women in a place which has banned abortions will still b able to get one, absolutely. but its more complicated than what ppl make it out to be

like, this website going on for weeks about how american white women have like nothing to say on abortion and it being banned was insane and the peak of dumbass identity politics being taken to an extreme. the other part of this too people going "the handmaidens tale is so stupid blah blah there will never be a time when white women will be used as broodmaids" like..... yall are fucking stupid and have no idea, like clearly absolutely no idea of the history of america like At All, and because you live in a liberal area youve got no idea what conservative and rural america is like in the current day either

-_- this is way past the point of complains about white women. this is just stupidity and frankly fucking privilege lmao to not understand a series of things and its also another example of identity politics taken to a stupid level, being used to divide women, not being an Actually productive conversation, and also the erasure of class

[yourheartinyourmouth]

i am so tired. i don’t want to live with my parents and their untrained idiot dogs.

[autismserenity]

Crazy to write an entire angry rant about the IDF is justified in killing three of the hostages and completely ignore that the hostages were waving a white flag and the IDF still murdered them. Almost like you were trying to avoid it. I know you'll never publish this ask so ask yourself this: why are you so angry about the IDF being misrepresented when you yourself refuse to accurately represent the situation?

Hope you eventually get enough dead palestinians to feel better or whatever you think you're getting out of defending mass slaughter.

Actually, that fact wasn't reported till the next day, But Go Off, etc.

The question is, what do you think the IDF gets from killing hostages?

Because you seem to be arguing that the IDF kills hostages on purpose.

You might be arguing that the IDF is so intent on slaughtering Palestinian civilians that it mistook hostages for them, in its frenzied killing spree.

This doesn't particularly check out, though.

The death of ANY Palestinian civilian is fucking horrible.

And also, despite bombing high-density areas - supposedly to take out Hamas tunnels and launch sites - and clearly having a lot of firepower, Israel has killed less than one person with each strike. Even early on, when the death count was especially high. Recently, it killed 200 Palestinians in one day - of 400 strikes. More than a third of the deaths have been Hamas soldiers.

That doesn't mean killing civilians is okay. It doesn't mean anything except that maybe, just possibly, the IDF doesn't like killing children and is in fact trying not to mass slaughter Palestinians... and if so, this probably wasn't a situation where people should be going, "ha ha! they killed their own people because they're on a horrifying mindless killing spree!"

All of this is terrible. Living in a war zone is a fucking nightmare. Palestinians in Gaza are going to be left with a fuckton of trauma.

And at the same time: it is very clear that the IDF was in a Hamas stronghold full of landmines, sniper fire, and explosive booby traps, being repeatedly ambushed by thousands of members of a terrorist force that gives zero fucks about either Palestinians or Israelis.

What I'm angry at is how much people are dehumanizing both the Palestinians and the Israelis without even thinking about it.

I can't read the descriptions of the situation there without thinking, "yeah, if I were fighting in a Hamas stronghold where terrorists were constantly finding new ways to fuck with my head, and hostages suddenly showed up yelling and waving white flags, I'd probably think I was being ambushed and shoot them too." I can't read about Israel trying to take out Hamas without being like, "god, I really hope they fucking manage to do that, because the people of Gaza have been oppressed and tormented by Hamas for almost 20 years now. They get arrested for criticizing Hamas publicly, or even writing articles that mention criticism; Hamas actively recruits teenagers; Hamas keeps Palestinians in extreme poverty to make recruitment easier; Hamas used up their fuel reserves to launch rockets and power its tunnels instead of running the water desalination plants and powering the hospitals; Hamas has repeatedly stolen massive amounts of food and fuel from humanitarian aid during just this war; they don't even have access to the Palestinian courts, they have go to through Hamas's military courts...."

So I'm very angry that the vibe on that post is 100% "haha! stupid fucking IDF killed its own people!"

I'm extremely tired of people pretending that they care about Palestinians.

I'm equally tired of people condemning ONLY what Israel does, and NEVER what Hamas is doing.

And I'm super-duper-extra tired of people genuinely cheering on what Hamas is doing. Putting its paragliders on flyers. Saying "We are all Hamas" at protests. Chanting "Globalize the Intifada" and "We don't want no two-state, we want all '48," as if those aren't calls for antisemitic violence and eradicating Israel completely. As if it would only be genocide if Israel wiped out Palestine, and not if it were the other way around.

Oh yeah; I'm also pretty tired of people only calling it mass slaughter and genocide when Israel kills people. And of having 1000% more details about the situation than people who say I'm not representing it accurately.

[twojackals]

It can't be avoided.

For awhile, I was just going to tiptoe around this... but nah. Nah. Not after I saw someone say "if only 'The Arabs(tm)' would [insert some discrimination here]".

Sorry, which "Arabs" are you talking about? The Palestinian civilians who have been imprisoned for years and who only want peace and stability and a life (and, like, clean water and food)? Or Hamas, an anti-Semitic terrorist group who formed a government hell-bent on wiping out the opposition. Or, maybe any of the other fucking Arab groups in the gods-damn world, because this may shock you, but "Arabs" don't all live in Gaza and worship extremism?

Arabs are just regular people all over the world. If you can't figure out the difference between "Arabs" and "bad people", you are the problem.

#FreePalestine. Free Palestine from imprisonment, famine, disease, and death in the largest open-air prison in the world. Free Palestine from oppression, discrimination, and human rights violations. But, also Free Palestine from Hamas, a sham war-mongering flaming garbage pile of a 'government' thriving on hate and fear and not much else.

I obviously do NOT condone violence or war… that doesn't mean I am blind to the fact that there are complex matters on both sides of any human conflict that cannot be ignored. Taking of any one aspect in a vacuum is doing a heinous disservice. I also don't condone oppression, discrimination, hate, and human rights violations of any kind from ANY side. Foot down. Full stop. You don't do that shit, I do not care who you are, or what you believe, or what your history is.

I will never suggest I am not an outsider, and that the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is a complex one. I am an outsiders looking in trying to research and examine a long, complex past of religious, political, and cultural aspects. But I think what I also feel is that it is difficult, if not impossible, to find ourselves one 'side' in this conflict as some sort of 'absolute'. People who can do it baffle me... there are no absolutes in oppression and war.

My main, crude "prayer" still goes as follows:

Fuck war

Fuck violence

Fuck oppression

Fuck discrimination

Fuck hate

Fuck fear

But when I pray to my Gods, every prayer always starts with Al-Fatiha (as many people know I'm formerly Muslim), in Arabic. It's a part of worship that I never gave up, because it is a love letter to the Divine that I cannot put in any better way, and that I feel in my heart deeply. It may for many reference a single True God among all the so-called "False Gods" but for me... it is simply Divinity, and we call out to it, for guidance, and strength, and truth.

Bismillaah ar-Rahman ar-Raheem Al hamdu lillaahi rabbil ‘alameen Ar-Rahman ar-Raheem Maaliki yaumid Deen Iyyaaka na’abudu wa iyyaaka nasta’een Ihdinas siraatal mustaqeem Siraatal ladheena an ‘amta’ alaihim Ghairil maghduubi’ alaihim waladaaleen Aameen

In the name of God, the infinitely Compassionate and Merciful. Praise be to God, Lord of all the worlds. The Compassionate, the Merciful. Ruler on the Day of Reckoning. You alone do we worship, and You alone do we ask for help. Guide us on the straight path, the path of those who have received your grace; not the path of those who have brought down wrath, nor of those who wander astray. Amen.

(Artist: Junedstyle23)

And remember that Western media is white-washing (literally and figuratively) the narrative at every stage of the game. Things Western media isn't going to be reminding you of in your daily 'war update':

Palestinians are by and large civilians; not soldiers and fighters.

Palestinians are not terrorists. Muslims are not terrorists.

Hamas is absolutely NOT Palestine. Hamas =/= Palestine. Say it louder for the people in the back.

Palestinian civilians want peace and stability, just like anyone else.

There has been a sea, land, and air blockade in Gaza for 15+ years. 80% of live in poverty, 95% lack access to clean water, and things like power, fuel, and medical supplies are limited.

Human rights violations have been committed, in perpetuity, against Palestinians for years.

It is condemnable for Israel to kill Palestinians as much as it is condemnable for Palestinians to kill Israelis. It is condemnable for human beings to kill other human beings, fucking stop.

Netanyahu's government is full of right-wing extremism. The west cozying up to him is creepy and it will never not be creepy.

Supporting Palestinians is not automatically a black-white dichotomy synonymous with being anti-Israel. I am pro-Palestine, and I am pro-Israel. But I am anti-whatever-the-hell-has-been-going-on-from-BOTH-sides for decades now.

I am also anti-Hamas, because fuck Hamas, seriously. Hamas is the embodiment of anti-Semitism. Hamas denies the Holocaust, promotes anti-Semitic conspiracy theories, commits or perpetuates human rights violations even against its own fucking people, and is clearly out to overwrite Israel with itself -- I do fully believe given the chance, Hamas would commit genocide. But again, Hamas =/= Palestine, and the actions of Hamas do not lend support for the oppression of Palestinian peoples.

So supporting Palestine means freedom from two things: Freedom from Hamas, and freedom from oppression in Israel.

I don't have a solution. I'm not suggesting I do. I don't have all the answers.

All I know is: fuck war, and fuck hate.

[waitmyturtles]

(TW: family violence, fatphobia) (and spoilers)

Alright, as promised, thoughts on Double Savage, episodes 1 and 2!

First, cast thoughts:

Ohm Pawat: plays characters with names starting with P who have terrible fathers (although the pops in 10 Years Ticket was redeemed somewhat at the end, his historic FV towards his older son was unforgivable -- very similar to what we’re seeing here now towards Korn). 

Film Rachanun: always, ALWAYS spunky and fabulous. SHE SPARKLES.

Perth Tanapon: my first drama with him, but clearly a VERY strong actor.

These three in particular need to hold down the show and each other, because Ohm’s character, Pakorn/Korn, is the subject of abject abuse, psychological and physical, from his father, who is also the father of Perth’s character, Pawin/Win.  

You need a STRONG cast to decipher what the hell is going on with Korn and Win’s family. Korn, the older brother of the two, was born during a recession. Win was born during an economic upswing. Korn and Win’s father, a shopkeeper, blames Korn -- literally calls him a “jinx” to anyone who’s listening -- for any and all bad luck that comes to the family. Korn’s father abuses him incessantly. He kicks Korn out of the house, and Korn is shown sleeping on a bench outside the family house, often in the rain. One of his siblings will sneak him back into the house to sleep. Korn and Win’s older sister, Li, and their mother, are also shown. The mom, Li, and Win are barely able to lodge a protest to the father for his lifelong treatment of Korn. If Korn is abused, he tends to walk away, leaving his beloved mom/sister/brother in his wake. 

(Someone needs to seriously call Thailand’s version of DCFS/ACS on Korn’s dad, because WHAT. THE. FUCK.)

Before I get into Film’s character, I just want to say that I think this show is depicting interfamily trauma beautifully already (even though it’s beyond heartbreaking). The silence among the family members is deafening, and very real. I mean: Asian family patriarchy. If I were talking with a SE Asian therapist at this very moment, I wouldn’t need to go on to explain what we’re seeing. From how I watch the show from a SE Asian cultural lens: the father has had such an abusive stronghold on the ENTIRE family, that they’re all willed into silence, and are only able to show support for each other OUTSIDE of the grip and gaze of the father. I experienced this quite a bit in my childhood, and saw it in my cousins’ families where truth needed to be spoken outside of an assumed leader, and the emotional compensation that needed to take place later in our lives consumed us. 

I don’t know if this is exactly what @shortpplfedup was referring to when you said that you understood why Korn picked up the gun at the end of the episode...but to me, the lineage of this trauma leads me to understand why Korn did that. In the wake of yet another abusive episode with his father, Korn simply thought he was trying to help someone. (Poverty --> family abuse --> crime: a common pathway that is NEVER INTENTIONAL on the part of the children/offspring on the receiving end.)

So Film’s character, Rung, comes into the mix. Rung is a young woman attending Win’s school, who befriends Win and Korn. Rung asks questions about Win and Korn’s family. She calls bullshit on the superstitions surrounding Korn and his father. She states that her family doesn’t believe those stories.

I want to note that superstitions are common both by way of religion and culture across Asia. (For instance, I was advised once to not swim in the ocean during a particular time of the year, because it was a moment close to a festival regarding water spirits, and it was thought that there were ghosts in the ocean.)

We saw a tremendous amount of religious and cultural ritual in Moonlight Chicken. But superstitions, as we’re seeing here in Double Savage, affect groups/families/communities at the micro level. Parents can VERY EASILY write off children with these mechanisms. (Like I mentioned in my last DS post, I have family members that have written off their children at early ages for just about everything -- their looks, their luck, their birthdays, their supposed lack of intelligence, etc. These parents would literally call their children “fat” in front of me and apologize “for them.”) 

I see what Double Savage is doing here -- calling fucking bullshit on this practice, particularly when it’s used to judge, condemn, and abuse children. It’s common, it happens, and once more, with these amazing shows coming out of Thailand (where WERE THESE SHOWS when I was a kid), we’re seeing broad and public commentary about how negative and abusive these behaviors are.

We clearly haven’t gotten to the meat of the series yet -- the drama that will occur between Korn and Win, as Korn sinks further into a life of crime. But what I’m finding interesting right now is that between 10 Years Ticket and Double Savage — two shows starring Ohm that were directed by female directors — we’re seeing BROAD and VERY DIRECT commentary on patriarchy, and interfamily and community trauma. (This, to me, is much like how @respectthepetty​ noted that GMMTV’s Midnight Series earlier this year was constructed in part to offer critical political and social commentary.)

And at least in Double Savage, vis à vis Rung, we’re seeing VERY direct criticism of otherwise common cultural practices that ALLOW for these abusive behaviors not only to take place, but to take root and to proliferate across generations. And we’re only two episodes in! Good for you, GMMTV. [I mean -- why not throw Bad Buddy into this mix, too? Like I mentioned earlier: someone (P’Aof?) is recognizing that Ohm can really fucking handle this hardcore intergenerational material. This shit does NOT seem easy to portray, and in BBS/10YT/and now DS, he’s handling it deftly.]

Whew. Me likey. Fuck the patriarchy. Let’s see how this show continues to set up this plot.

One off-thought: the chemistry between Ohm and Perth, and Ohm/Perth/Film -- SPECTACULAR. WOW. Ohm and Perth are so clearly bros in real life. They’re clearly ad libbing a lot, and it’s a lot of fun to watch. (I wish Ohm had spent more time on camera with Off in 10YT — they could have had a similar vibe.)

Film’s character is sooooooo different from Neon in Dirty Laundry (and I can’t wait to see her in My Precious, where she’s paired again with Nanon), and she’s just so versatile and fun to watch. SWOON, I love her.

[57sfinest]

Do you have any thoughts on dora? You may have posted some before but i think i missed them.

these two posts are dora-adjacent but i don't think i've ever posted specifically about her, no!

obviously, we don't get much that's directly from dora and not filtered through harry and his obvious bias and spotty memory, but from what we do get... she seems like she started off pretty kind, and very patient. she had to have been, to stay with harry as long as she did. i don't see her as the kind to instigate situations with harry- i think harry was the one starting shit, either with things he said or by something he'd do, and then she'd get provoked into saying something that would escalate it and it would just spiral out of control from there, especially once it got to the point where harry was heavily abusing substances. i don't think she said things like "you're a poverty-stricken fuck" or "you're a sad, insane old man" like in the crosswalk, but i'm sure that when an argument started, she took digs at harry for his low income and for his disabilities, which probably became more apparent and symptomatic as he spent more and more time with the RCM. especially as time went on and he was constantly either breaking down or drunk out of his mind or both- i think they both probably devolved into low blows because communication between them just... dissolved. like, dora couldn't reach into harry's mind to know what was going on. harry wasn't communicating effectively because he was more focused on trying to just numb it and shove it back down. i think that toxic masculinity played a huge role in their relationship breaking down, personally. she had this expectation for him to be the provider, to always stay "cool" and be emotionless, to be "better" than his disabilities (whatever the fuck that means!), to work for a grander purpose than just teaching gym (so he left a job he was presumably happy in to join the rcm, which made him progressively worse!). like she had this latent ableism and classism tied inherently to toxic masculinity, which dictated her expectations for him that he subsequently failed to meet.

and it's sad, because it seems like they really did love each other at first. just based on the note in the ledger, it feels like their relationship became very codependent pretty quickly. they were obsessed at first sight; he was a few years older than her, seemed *cool*, and he ended up being her first everything; and harry, for his part, had *nothing else*. we know from the fifteenth indotribe that he lost all his friends to ODs and violence. his dad wasn't around and we can assume his mother was dead or not involved at this point. all harry had was her- you can see in the crosswalk that she feels that harry just blamed her for everything, good or bad. according to him, she was the one who made him "insane and shit" (if you get the moralist stuff). it was an unhealthy level of exclusivity between them that ended up being a huge part of the problem. they were mutually obsessed, but the difference is that dora had parents and some money and a place to go work somewhere else: the point is, she had *options*. there was somewhere else for her to go, other people to support her. she had the resources to get over him, but he didn't have anything to help get over her.