#Talking Rat

[obsidian-rat]

January 7, 2023

The Fire breathing dragon (I knew, this was, in fact, a dragon that exhaled flame & not another misunderstanding because she tried to eat me once) was next on my list. I had to work fast in case word somehow got out about my attempt to raid the Frost dragon. I also knew that I shouldn't sneak around. This dragon was meaner & rarely left her horde alone.

I'd need to slay the dragon.

Being a talking Rat is beneficial in countless ways, but it makes me far more of a rogue than a barbarian, y'know? I wasn't going to scurry around & nibble her to death, I'd need to find a weak point to exploit.

I reasoned that the massive creature must eat a fair amount & if she never left her treasure for very long than food must come to her. She must have minions bringing her food. That's how I'd get to her.

Imagine my surprise when I got to her lair & discovered a full kitchen staff & legit dealings with restaurant suppliers & even farms to provide live animals.

I got to work modifying recipes. Increasing the amount of beans, cabbage, brown rice & other gassy foods. I also started feeding it to the farm animals she was going to eat alive. By the end of the day, the kitchen staff definitely knew what was going on... & were into it! We were stuffing whole cows with bran flakes. We had fun. When she started to bloat & complain about her stomach, everyone quietly & quickly left.

The blast could be heard from miles away.  

PrfffffftBOOM!!

Then the sound of gentle rain as teeny tiny bits of blown-up dragon fell from the sky. That part looked pretty metal, but was gross. With blood-matted fur, I scurried in & got as much still-warm treasure as my bag of holding could carry.

I washed the loot when I got home.

[minnnieminmin]

Chris Pratt using his normal voice as Garfield meanwhile Robert Pattinson over here using his most fucked up gremlin voice to play a bird that you wouldn't even know it was him until you saw the credits

[critterbitter]

Language divides and building bridges.

Elesa’s feeling homesick. Emmet, bless his heart, tries to help by infodumping while Ingo frantically runs off to find water (crying is a very dehydrating experience).

((Would you look at that! The kids are picking up kantonese and galarian from each other!))

BONUS:

Heh. Callback.

Want to see more? Here’s the masterpost for submas!

[squishymar]

some bad kid tweets bc i’m bored and can’t help a modern au ✨⚔️

[twinstxrs]

so much happened in this whole episode but i’m still on fig infiltrating ruben’s dream, making it look like the place where his friend was murdered, and then disguising herself as kipperlilly & repeatedly saying different variants of “somebody needs to take the fall for this, and it’s not going to be me. it’s going to be you.” while adaine as the elven oracle shows up next to her. can you imagine waking up from that, the idea of a horrible truth being pinned on you by your friend to save her own skin while the personification of fate and destiny stands there, almost as a promise that this is GOING to happen to you. we don’t even know if this kid is guilty. my god.

[starrjoy]

Pandora AU good ending <3

[idiot-mushroom]

i did the thing

but also-

my true comfort characters lol

[happypeachsludgeflower]

Who wants to bet Peerless Cucumber has an entire fan base within the pidw’s fandom? Potentially even bringing in a portion of pidw’s readers who just want to enjoy shen yuan just loosing it in the comments.

Like sure, some of the fandom’s definitely there for the toxic masculinity and papapa, but I guarantee you there’s an entire section dedicated to gleefully watching the fandom sewer rat being feral.

[swordsandstitches]

The wolves are killing members of their own pack

[pparuparfait]

so like…this is 100% why ivy had That Reaction to fig disguised as lucy, right? it wasn’t that she saw through the disguise, she just saw her once dead friend now revived (like the rest of the party had already been) and thought lucy finally chose ankarna (chose them)

[littlemissemeritus]

the guilt of every copia stan (me included)

[obsidian-rat]

January 4 2023

All denizens of the internet, even us partial ones, are invested in the general safety of our home. We all do our part to keep harmful forces at bay. Some of us have large antivirus farms, others seek out & put a stop to various online predators. My role is simple & more suited to my skill set. I scurry between the websites.

Today I delivering mail, maintaining the pathways, & doing what I could to protect travelers along the kaleidoscope of worlds connected to the internet. Being a fan of David Petersen, I dawned my dark green cloak & worked today's assigned post.

Sometimes worlds shift around some, so I was pleasantly surprised to find myself along the border of the Elemental Plane of Starlings.It may be noisy, but they definitely make you feel like a part of the community.

[victarin]

i fucking love people here you guys see this dinnerplate-faced daycare animatronic and go "what if they were detectives" and you make all this amazing astounding art and writing and concepts and designs like yeah . sure . im going to be normal abt this and im not going to think about the incredible levels of creativity involved im not gointg to think about how much i love seeing beginner artists using the dca as a way to learn new skills in art and character design Im not going to think about how much joy is in all those AUs and how much artists and writers put aspects of whatever they enjoy in those stupid ass clowns to make these incredible inspired stories and artworks absolutely Brimming with love for what they created &how much i love seeing people in the community huddling around those AUs and hyping them up and making More Art from those yeah im normal. whatever

[oneluckygoose]

It’s my headcannon that the Bad Kids (+company) all collectively made an agreement NEVER to tell Jawbone about what they saw in the nightmare forest because Jawbone would 100% sit them down and attempt to have a full therapy session that takes like 12 hours with each of them.

[extrashortshorts]

Short hang out

Those two are biased so no hard feelings

[tmntkiseki]

This entire scene makes me laugh harder than it should.