#That boy goes through every emotion in the span of one second.

[jacqcrisis]

i just recently found out about the beach fic, absolutely loved it, read the whole thing twice in more or less one week and looked through your tag for more lore (your writing is glorious). Anything about Theseus has me cackling and god i'd love to know what went through his head the minute he found out the new mailman he ranted to about Charon was actually dating him or just how he found out in general

Thank you so much! And also I think I’ve talked about this before, but I can’t be fucked to find it, and imma do it again but this time I’m gunna summarize the short I had toyed with writing about this exact topic. I’m going to put it under a read more cause it’s a little spicy. If you don’t want to read it, tl;dr Theseus catches them banging in Charon’s car and gets extremely pissed about it.

a year or so after the events of beach fic, Charon and Hermes are invited to some formal charity thing in Elysium by Nyx and, as such, need to dress up. They're getting ready at Hermes' place and Hermes gets out of the shower just in time as Charon is finishing doing up his tie. He sneaks up on his 'professional associate', wraps his arms around him from behind, and suggests that they forgo the event so he can enjoy Charon in a suit in the privacy of his own home.

Charon finds this funny and lets him cop a feel for a bit, before pushing his off and telling him to finish getting ready unless he wants to be on Nyx's shit list for the next seven years or so. Hermes grumbles about it, but agrees and leaves to put on more than a towel. Charon figures that'll be the end of it until they get back home, but finds that his resolve might not be so ironclad when Hermes is all dressed up and he sees how very well-fitted his dress pants are. On top of this, Hermes notices his partner's appreciative eye and lingering touches as they get in the car, and cooks up a plan to get Charon to break before they get back home.

They get to the thing, it's boring, and Charon's having a rough time of it. Hermes is being flirty and touchy, and at dinner, he's playing footsie and constantly reminding Charon that they could be anywhere else, doing anything else right now. Charon sticks it out, even if he's being reciprocal until Nyx practically shoos them out of the event stating that she's taken enough of their time. It’s clear she’s annoyed and more or less suggests they aren’t as subtle or covert as they think and so they leave, a bit ashamed but not really deterred.

Back in the car as they drive home, Hermes has redoubled his efforts, kissing and touching whatever part of Charon he can, suggesting they pull over. Charon makes it all of five minutes before he does just that, parking them a little down a rarely used back road and hauling a victorious, amorous Hermes into the back seat. They get down to business, and, unfortunately, are little too preoccupied to notice the police car pulling up besides them a little bit later. 

Theseus, who was patrolling for the evening and genuinely stressed about Asterius’ (the guy Theseus may or may not have gotten sent to prison on faulty evidence as the start of his career) upcoming parole hearing, sees what seems to be an abandoned vehicle just off a side road that wasn’t there an hour before. He goes to investigate to take his mind off of things considering its a boring weekday night and there’s not much going on, but lo and behold, what does he see as he pulls up with his lights off? That’s right, it’s Styx Beach’s own mailman riding Theseus’ favorite bootlegger in the backseat of Charon’s car and the good sheriff goes through a range of emotions from confusion to betrayal to anger in the span of 7 seconds.

He gives them a lengthy earful once they’re decent, forgets he can technically arrest them for indecent exposure, gives them a ticket, and follows them until they hit Styx Beach, absolutely fuming the entire time. Hermes goes from being the ‘good Olympus boy’ to getting pulled over for every minor infraction if Theseus sees him and earns quite a few interesting nicknames from the sheriff regarding his supposed sexual proclivities. Surprisingly, Theseus still doesn’t make the connection that Hermes could be aiding the sale of alcohol, but he’s a little focused on the fact that he caught Hermes in the exact position he’s wanted to be in for like 6 years now. 

Hermes does quite a bit of apologizing since it was embarrassing, and it could’ve ended worse, and it jeopardized the deliveries he still does for Charon, and he did egg his partner on pretty harshly. Charon’s genuinely mad for maybe two days, if that, but they talk through it and it eventually becomes more funny than it was embarrassing. Plus, as part of his penance, Hermes keeps dropping off sweets from the cafe with little affectionate notes and Charon isn’t complaining about a week straight of getting surprise baked goods with his mail. 

For Theseus, he never gets over it, always thinks of Hermes as an interfering harlot and a Jezebel, even after Theseus gets together with Asterius, and always lets the mailman know his open and clear disdain every chance he gets.

[whump-town]

You Dance With Tears In Your Eyes

Summary: a college AU set up in the late 80s/early 90s with football star and quarterback Derek Morgan and his secret boyfriend Hotch-- it's not a happy story but I don't think I really have to warn you guys about that anymore

Also, a little based on a story my grandmother told me about my great uncle and his partner. Never met my great uncle but everyone says I'm a lot like him, I think they just mean gay but don't know how to say it

Warnings: homophobia, violence, racism *I mean it when I say homophobia*

Pairing: Derek Morgan/Aaron Hotchner

@yourlocalheartbreaker

The title is from Frank Ocean's song Self Control

Now and then you miss it, sounds make you cry Some nights you dance with tears in your eyes I came to visit, 'cause you see me like a UFO That's like never, 'cause I made you use your self-control And you made me lose my self-control, my self-control

---------------------

Living shouldn’t be reduced down to what it is, the bare bones of things that don’t even make Derek Morgan who he is. He lives by them anyways, stupid rules. Social norms, Aaron always clarifies because even when those silly rules drown them Aaron needs to be concise. Social norms dictate every inch of life and for once Derek wishes he were the type of person who could be given that inch and take a mile. They’re the reason he can’t hold his boyfriend’s hand in public. Why he can’t kiss Aaron on New Years’ and why he is reduced down to loving his roommate. Why, at this rate, he’ll never marry or adopt children, or why he could lose any career he goes into because some nosy asshole finds out his partner isn’t a woman. And, yes, he knows there are anti-discriminatory laws but he’s a black gay man. The world is stacked against him.

It makes him so angry. He’s blinded by the irrational of it all, why nothing can just be simple for them. Aaron tries to comfort him but Derek’s anger scares him, he doesn’t understand it. Aaron has long lost the ability to decipher the complexity of human emotions. Still flinches at loud noises like he’s expecting each bump to be accompanied by the pain that laced his childhood and has to ask, around every turn, if Derek’s angry with him. He can’t tell. Everything looks like anger. With Derek, it frequently is. They cope in very different ways, Aaron chooses nothing. Shutting down all his emotions until he cracks and that’s worse. It’s worse than Derek’s anger. That doesn’t mean Derek doesn’t hate the way he quakes with fury. If not because it feels childish to be blinded by emotions then because it scares Aaron.

There are a million other things, at twenty there always is. It’s his philosophy class with all this bullshit reading he doesn’t understand. He has to ask Aaron for help and Aaron has to ask him for help with things too but it makes Derek feel stupid. It’s philosophy, it can’t be that hard. That’s the same way Aaron feels about calculus. There’s maintaining rent and going grocery shopping and football (games, practice, gym, and training).

College had been a learning curve. Getting up at four in the morning to go to the gym for football had been the hardest thing in the world without his mother flicking his bedroom lights on and off or Desiréecoming in to smack him in the face with a pillow. There’s no one in the entire world in charge of getting him out of his bed other than him and, in his freshman year, while he had thought sleeping on that impossibly hard mattress would leave much to be desired, and it did, he found himself glued to his every morning. Not wanting to leave the safety of its flimsy comfort.

Sharing an apartment worked wonders, having a workaholic boyfriend was really the best trick. An unexpected answer to his problems but, also, a very cute one. He managed to add one person to the list of people that cared about where he was, that made sure he got up in time to make it to the gym and practice, and asked if he had a bad day or rub at his sore muscles.

Derek rolls over in bed, not as surprised as he should be to find the other half empty. “Aaron?” He still searches, runs his hand over the sheets as if he doesn’t know that if Aaron were in the bed he’d be right there. Hogging the bed and the blankets, pressed up against Derek’s back snoring like there’s no tomorrow. “Aaron?” Derek sits up and squints, grimaces at the light trailing in from the open door.

Aaron’s hunched over the beginnings of an essay, pen ink smeared across his left palm and steadily chugging along. He can write a full essay in the span of a night, five hours for about 3,000 words but if it’s a short synopsis sort of thing then about an hour. Despite this astonishing gift, Aaron still makes himself write all his essays weeks in advance and spends days upon days proofreading and combing through them for the tiniest mistakes. He’s a straight-A student so he’s doing something right but Derek gets mostly As too with far less hastily. Aaron is just extra.

Derek steps up to the desk, doesn’t make a sound as he leans up against the side of the chair. He wraps an around Aaron’s shoulders, leans down to kiss his head. “It’s two,” Derek informs him, “come to bed. Please?” Derek’s exhausted. He feels the regret of being pulled from his warm bed. Each second feels like twenty minutes, the world sluggish and too cold. He leans closer to Aaron, wrapping himself around him. “You always smell so good,” Derek whispers. He presses his face into Aaron’s hair, catching the mix of scents.

“Bakery,” Aaron grunts. His answer as simple and concise as he always is but even more so now that he’s tired. Aaron had worked an on-campus job for the entirety of their freshman year but after he got a scholarship that would roll over each year after that (so long as he kept a certain GPA) he started at a bakery down the street from their apartment. Derek had always liked the way Aaron smelled, gently masculine in a way only Aaron could ever be, and it had mixed with the scents of softly, perfectly made baked goods he works around all day. Cookies and cakes. He’s picked up a few tricks, Aaron can make moist cakes and perfectly round cookies but his bread… It’s the best food Derek has ever eaten.

The first time Aaron made bread Derek got down on one knee and confessed “Aaron Hotchner if I could marry you I’d take you to the damn chapel right now”. To which he was lovingly pushed and told to “shut up” but fresh-baked bread (even if Aaron had taken a single bite and concluded he hadn’t ratioed the sugar right) is heavenly. He’s gotten much better since and it’s really hot when he’s standing there in one of his dress shirts with the sleeves rolled up taking his stress out on the dough.

And he can’t tell anyone. Can’t boast about his hot ass boyfriend or the bread he makes from scratch.

Derek crouches down by the chair, knows he’s winning when Aaron breaks from his work just enough to glance at him out of the corner of his eye. “Can’t this wait just a little bit?” he asks. “I want to sleep with my boyfriend and he’s out here writing an essay that isn’t due tomorrow and likely isn’t due for the next month.” Derek reaches up, strokes a strand of hair back behind Aaron’s ear. His fingers graze an open wound and Aaron flinches away, the pain unexpected.

The bare bones of Aaron Hotchner are the along the same in principle to Dereks-- all things that he cannot change. Even as he stands as tall as Derek, their bodies are not the same. Derek is lean from years of football, his arms stretch his shirts. He looks like an athlete, has the benefit of the doubt whenever he’s around men. His teammates walk naked in front of him, no one for even a second thinks anything of it. No one suspects him of the atrocities he commits within his apartment.

Aaron doesn’t have any of that. His hair is a little too long, hangs down in his face when he’s studying or reading. Nothing about him is hulk-ish, he’s delicate with his movements and while it had been something that Derek was immediately drawn to it also draws other’s attention. Bad attention.

The same boys that play around with Derek, snapping towels at him while he walks, terrorize Aaron.

Derek wishes there was something he could do because if this were anyone else- if Aaron were a girl- he could. It wouldn’t be dangerous, not the sort of thing that would cost him his football scholarship or get him stabbed and left to bleed out in an alley or beat within an inch of his life. He would have to out himself to protect Aaron, to stand in front of his teammates that coach keeps calling his family and tell them to keep their fucking hands off his boyfriend. No. No, because something like that would be death. It would be worse than what’s already happening. And Aaron won’t allow it.

All Derek can do now is await the next attack, leave Aaron someplace to come home to. Give him a place to be, without burden, without hesitation. It’s not enough. They’ll kill him. Derek knows they will and it’ll be fun for them, only a matter of time.

“Come to bed with me,” Derek asks one more time. He doesn’t want to sound entirely needy but he really doesn’t want to go to bed without Aaron. The bed is lonely.

With a sigh, Aaron nods and Derek stands up, moves out of the way so Aaron can throw pens in his textbooks to mark his place. He steps away, from the desks, yawning as he makes lazy lurches forward towards their bedroom. “Turn the damn--” Derek rolls his eyes and reaches over and turns off Aaron’s desk lamp.

He passes Aaron in the doorway, places his hand on his hip, and reminds him of their objective. “Bed,” he mumbles and Aaron nods, jerking back to life as he steps further into the bedroom.

Derek lays down on the bed, crawls over to his side, and gets comfortable while he watches Aaron lazily strip down to his underwear. He gets caught in his head again for a moment, standing there just blankly staring at the dresser. Trying to figure out if he should put on pajamas or not. Derek calls his name and opens his arms. “Come here, “ he says and Aaron smiles. Sheepishly he comes, blushing as he crawls into the bed and where Derek instructs him. Humming, pleased, when Derek brings the blankets up over them. His eyes are already closed, head tucked under Derek’s chin when Derek wraps his arms around him. Pulls him close, tight.

He’d read in a book about deep pressure, its effect on the parasympathetic nervous system. He’d studied Development Psychology for some time, thought about all the ways in which it checked every box of his interests. He thinks he might want to be a teacher. That’s where he learned about the importance of the bond between guardian and child. Where he learned a hug sometimes really is a fantastic answer to the most startling problems.

It’s also the fastest way to get Aaron to sleep.

“Tighter,” Aaron whispers. He can’t quite feel Derek’s bones pushing into him, the hammer of his heart still too strong. He groans, choking up a laugh when Derek does just that. Holds him tight, makes him ache with the proximity, his inability to move.

Derek doesn’t mind, he’s got an armful of bakery boy. Couldn’t be more content with anything else.

0000000000000000

All things considered, Derek didn’t actually face that much scrutiny when he told his mother about the stupid twisting and turning feeling in his stomach when Martel Harris put his hand on Derek’s back. Leaned in too close and Derek could smell the cologne he wore and feel his proximity like lightning across his skin. He’d thought it was just nerves but at the end of a football match Martel lifted him up, threw him up in the air, and God that had felt better than flying. Lit him up inside like he was something, someone.

Desiréecried and Sarah wouldn’t speak to him for a week, opposite reactions because of the same fear. Their mother always said the two of them were two halves of the same coin-- too alike to get along and too different to ever get away. They came around, their mother’s gentle hand always the voice of reason. Three stubborn as all hell kids, too much like their father. That’s what she tells the three of them, tears swelling in her eyes as she proclaims that none of it matters. Orders Desiréeto stop crying tells Sarah to get over herself. She loved and married a black man despite the death threats that followed them everywhere they went. Despite the people that called it blasphemous. Called it sin. As if love could be such a thing.

Her mother told her not to come home, not to call. She wouldn’t do that to her son, she knows it won’t change a thing. There’s something about love that makes you blind to the small pains. She never looked back twice, never reached out to her parents. She chose love and Derek will too.

But that doesn’t mean the fear goes away.

It doesn’t actually change a damn thing.

Standing in the tiny bathroom attached to Derek’s friend’s bedroom Aaron leans over the sink, letting Derek rub

shampoo through his beer-drenched hair. “I just don’t understand why they have it out for you,” Derek mumbles, his voice has deepened, his frustration laced confusion evident. They’re in a rather suggestive position, Derek’s body keeping Aaron bent over the sink-- ass to groin. Aaron shoots him a look out of the corner, a pretty clear “look at us right now and take a guess at why”. Derek ignores the look, he’s rather good at ignoring Aaron’s sharp looks. He shakes his head, grumbling some more to himself and gently working the shampoo out of Aaron’s hair. He leans closer, Aaron groaning as the sink bites into his stomach, and smells his hair. Derek groans, unsatisfied with what he finds. “Smells like strawberries with a slight undertone of beer.”

Sounds about as close to a win as they’re getting. “That’s as good as it’s going to get,” Aaron mumbles, grateful when Derek sits back up. While Aaron’s come to terms with the particular hand he’s drawn in the terms of college social lives Derek isn’t as quick to accept. He feels hopeless, a feeling he thought he’d escaped upon leaving Chicago and everything Carl Buford. Aaron can’t stand to see that look, the one he’s grown so used to seeing after events like this.

He pulls a towel down off the rack, starts trying to dry his hair. This isn’t the reason he keeps his hair short but it’s certainly a helpful addition to keep in mind. “Don’t overthink it, it’s not your fault.” Aaron could go blue in the face trying to keep Derek from coming up with a mile-long list of all the reasons why that’s simply not true. The truth is, it’s really not Derek’s fault. No one even knows about them. Their relationship isn’t the reason why Hunter Whatever-his-last-name-is poured his cup of cheap, smells like piss, beer over Aaron’s head.

Not that what happened downstairs can just be so beautifully summed up as just that. Hunter Whatever-his-last-name-is had grabbed Aaron as he was walking in, doing as Derek instructed by coming in the screened-in door at the side of the house. “Who’s dick did you come to suck?” and Hunter Whatever-his-last-name-is cupped Aaron’s cheek. Dug his thumb into the wound he created and smiled, grinned happily at the sight of Aaron trying so hard to getaway. Hunter’s grip relaxed and as soon as it did Aaron was blinking the beer out of his eyes. “Get the fuck away from me,” Hunter shoved him, hard. “Faggot.” Aaron hit his hip on the counter but said nothing, he’ll leave the bruise for Derek to find another night.

“I should say something to that pig,” Derek’s distracting himself with putting everything back in the bathroom the way it was before they came in. Straightening out the rug and fixing the other towels. “Let me catch him trying something--”

Aaron can’t take it, all of Derek’s pointless anger, his stupid guilt. He’s just had beer poured down his back. He can’t even accept Derek’s sweatshirt to replace his smelly shirt, can’t walk out of here wearing his boyfriend’s sweatshirt without getting shanked. The beer smells awful but he’s fairly certain getting stabbed is a whole lot worse. Derek doesn’t have to deal with that. No one messes with him because no one thinks to. “It’s because of how I look!” He’s shaking, bangs hanging down in his face still damp but no longer dripping water down his face. “You? You look normal. You get to walk around with all your football buddies, no one bats an eye at the quarterback, Derek. At least you like women too!” He points to himself, digs his finger into his own chest. “Me? I look the part. I can’t even pretend. Everyone knew, the whole world knew before I did!”

Derek just stands there, caught in the headlights trying to figure out what to say.

He wipes his eyes, jerks away from the hand Derek tries to put on his arm. “No. No!” he can’t do touch right now. Not like this, not when his body won’t hold still and his knees keep trying to buckle. It happens, this panicked cornered feeling, and usually Derek would hold him down. They’d sit on the floor and Derek would hold his arms down to his chest and they’d just sit like that until Aaron can breathe again. Bones against bones until Aaron feels the fractures of his humanity coming back together but for now, right now? He can’t do it. He can’t be touched.

“I want to go home,” he manages, lower lip quivering despite how much he wants to hold it together. “Please take me home.”

Derek just stares at him, stands there, and watches Aaron cross his arms over his chest and curl in, trying to squeeze the panic out himself. “Okay,” he caves. “Go on, I’ll follow you down.” It’s degrading, humiliating the fact that they can’t even leave this room together. Aaron’s upset and Derek can’t do anything about that right now. It’s not safe until they’re home.

It’s never safe.

With his hair dripping into his face Aaron stumbles in the dark. His shirt is soaking wet, stuck to his skin, and freezing him as tramples down a thin stretch of grass between houses. He wishes he had Derek’s sweatshirt. Something warm. At least something to cover his arms. It had been a stupid idea coming here right after getting off work. The bakery is so impossibly hot and after getting off his shift all he wanted was to be with Derek. To sit in whatever little room Derek could guarantee was safe and drink whatever cheap crap Derek brings him from downstairs. Just sit and listen to the music filtering in from downstairs.

“Hotchner!”

He freezes-- a deadly mistake.

“Where are you off to in such a hurry?”

He knows what happened to Derek. In the hush of the night, laying facing each other in the dark, Derek had told him. Each word a puff of hot air against Aaron’s face, hitting the hot tears rolling down his cheeks. It was supposed to be even, Derek’s intention was to express alikeness. He’d seen the scars, no matter careful Aaron was about the light when he thought things were headed in the direction of nakedness, Derek saw them. He hadn’t said anything that time, run his thumb over the one on Aaron’s chest but kept up his ministrations. Acted as if he didn’t until that moment in bed.

Aaron still hasn’t found the courage to be honest about his own childhood.

Derek comes around the back, half-expecting tonight to go like it always does. Except Aaron hasn’t had any alcohol and he doesn’t come stumbling around the porch to greet Derek from the darkness. There are no stolen kisses or hushed laughter. No Aaron. Derek has half a mind to shout out for him, he couldn’t have gone off far, but then he sees him. Derek sees them. The moonlight shining down casting this awful hue between the houses. He sees Hunter draw his foot back and he can’t hold it back. Won’t let this go on. “Hunter!”

The second that Hunter’s attention is away from him, Aaron slumps to the ground. His blood smeared against the house. He’s still breathing, awful ragged breathes that shoot blood off his lips. He sees Derek in the moonlight, rushing past him. Aaron wishes he wasn’t a coward. Between each blood speckled breathe, he wishes that he wasn’t a coward and had just told Derek. That way he would understand Aaron can take it. He spent his childhood taking beatings for just being alive. At least now it was something coherent. Being beaten for being gay requires at least knowing something about him. His father couldn’t even bother with that.

But Derek doesn’t understand.

Aaron never told him.

He’s pulled down, out of orbit, and back to Earth when Derek squats down beside him, cradles his head in his hands. “Aaron?” he calls out, but Aaron can’t force his eyes to move from the dirt. “Can I--” Derek doesn’t know where to put his hands. If he can put his hands anywhere. “I’m going to-- to lift you, okay?” It’s not a matter of if he’s strong enough. He benches more than his own body weight and that’s significantly more than Aaron’s. He’s just not sure if Aaron’s going to fight him and if Aaron fighting him is good or bad.

“Lean forward,” Derek whispers, cupping the back of Aaron’s head and directing it into his shoulder. He turns, manipulates both their bodies and winces each time, no matter how gentle and calculated his movements are, Aaron still cries out. He still hurts him. “I’m sorry,” becomes his mantra. The only words he can manage out around the tears, the only thing he can get past the thickness in his throat.

Sorry he didn’t stop this sooner.

Sorry that he keeps hurting Aaron.

Sorry they couldn’t be other people. In other places. In another time.

Sorry that it’s all for nothing, that there’s no way this ends well for either of them. They’re going to end up dead or alone but certainly separate.

The second Derek has him in his arms Aaron grips his shirt tightly in one blood-stained hand. He rests his head on Derek’s shoulder, soaking in his warmth. “Home?” he asks, voice breaking.

“We’re going home.”

Aaron wakes up alone in bed.

He’s completely naked, laying with three blankets pulled up over him. One that he recognizes is from the living room. There’s one of Derek’s homemade sock heating pads digging into his sore ribs where he rolled over onto it, he can feel more of them underneath him. He’s been laying here for a while. None of the socks are warm anymore. He’s on Derek’s side of the bed, facing his nightstand, and watches Derek’s blurry alarm clock change time. 1:36 passing to 1:37 to 1:38 just waiting for the fuzzy fingers in his brain to ease up. To allow him to think.

It’s Saturday.

Derek’s off at a football game, not due back for hours. Not until tonight, long after Aaron’s gone to bed.

For an overwhelming moment, his eyes fill with tears, desperation, and solitude creating an awful twist in his stomach. He doesn’t want to be alone. Protectively he draws his knees up, tries to knot himself up, and create a mangled ball. His heart picks up, anxiety increasing as he lays there. He wants Derek. He doesn’t want to be alone.

On the phone’s first rings he curls in tighter, overwhelmed by his own crying that he presses his face into Derek’s pillow and ignores it. He’ll let the machine catch it-- that’s the whole reason Derek bought it. With a sharp end, muffled by the blanket he pulls up over his head, a voice comes through. The machine catching the voice mail.

“Aaron, sweetheart? This is Fran, Derek’s mom? I’m sorry to keep calling sweetie but Derek’s awake now. He’s worried, says you should have woken up by now. I can send Sarah to come get you, Derek told me what happened last night. Please call me back? I hope you’re okay.”

He lays in confused silence, trying to process why Derek’s mother would call him. She calls all the time and occasionally he answers to tell her she’s just missed Derek-- he’s off with friends, at the gym, or at class. They know of one another Derek talks about him to Fran as much as Derek talks about Fran to him. But Fran call him? That’s never happened.

Then he catches it-- “Derek’s awake now”-- and he sits up. Pushed from his mind is the pain, his ribs scream and the blood he can see he’s left on Derek’s pillow. Derek’s awake now. Hunter Whatever-his-last-name-is is on the football team. An offensive lineman. A guy whose entire job is to protect Derek but now he knows, he has to know.

Derek’s awake now.

He throws himself out of bed, clipping his already sore hip on the nightstand and staggering for the phone. Tears spilling over his face. What happened while he was sleeping? What did Hunter do?

Fran picks up on the first ring. “Aaron, is that you sweetheart?”

He sniffles, rubbing at his nose with his finger. “Yes, ma’am.” He knows she can hear him crying, his choked sobs as he falls in the direction of the closes chair.

“You had me worried sick,” she says and he can hear that unmistakable fondness in her chastising tone. That must be where Derek gets it from. It makes him smile, even if it’s weak. “How are you feeling, baby? Derek told me what happened. I’m sorry. If I see that boy I’ll wring his neck. Give him a piece of my mind for bothering my boys.”

He just nods, despite the fact that she can’t see that. He knows he should answer her question but he has no idea what he feels. Nothing. He feels nothing as he sits here holding his breath as he waits to ask about Derek. To know what happened because of him. “Is Derek okay? What happened?”

Hunter told a few other team members what he saw. Most brushed him off, Hunters a douchebag, and they like Derek. Others just hate Aaron enough for it to matter to them, enough to what to do something. Or, rather, not do anything. It only took one tackle, a limb bent the wrong way under the weight of three boys.

It was Derek’s knee. A career-ending injury.

A scholarship losing injury.

“Can I--” Aaron chokes. He’s afraid of what happens if Fran says no. “Can I see him?”

“Of course you can.”

Aaron turns away Fran’s offer of a car ride but Desirée still shows up.

He answers the door in a sweatshirt and jeans and knows immediately who it is when he opens it up. Desirée just stares at him for a moment, he can feel all of the seventeen-year-old judgment sizing him up. “You look… awful,” she tells him. She lets herself in, walking past Aaron with one more look. “Mom says I can drive but if you want to do it I have to let you.” She puts the car keys on the counter, sighs as she looks around. “Derek says…” she chews her lip, as she sizes him up again.

He wonders how intimidating he could possibly look to her. Hunched over and wearing a sweatshirt that’s too big for him.

“Would you teach me how to make bread?”

He can’t help but smile, nods without any hesitation.

“Really?”

Aaron nods, “it’s not that hard. More of a-- a waiting game. You have to give the yeast time to rise.”

Desirée has no idea what that means but she nods, “cool.”

He lets her drive. Mostly because his vision is swimming but because he tosses the keys back to her, a clear okay that she can drive, and she beams at him. She likes him. That’s so weirdly important to him.

She has to wake him up when they get to the hospital. The first thing she tells Fran is that he let her drive and Fran smiles at him, shakes her head, and says “you must have a death wish.”

Aaron blushes under the attention, eyes falling to the floor. He barely manages, “drives just like Derek.”

Fran laughs, nodding her head, “she does. Too heavy on the brakes.” Her smile fades a little when she sees Aaron’s sweatshirt, recognizes it from home. Knows it’s Dereks. “Will you let someone look at that,” she asks, too many of his wounds look deep. Cuts that need stitches and a nasty black eye that she knows he hasn’t iced. She’s reminded a little too quickly that Aaron and Derek are still very much kids. Tricky kids. Too old to be told what to do but still wanting direction.

Aaron nods, shying away again from the attention, but nods.

They leave him when the nurse steps in, doesn’t need to say a word. Fran sees him hesitate to lift his shirt and knows. Derek had managed to tell her most of what happened but the morphine made his speech slur, made him emotional. He’d sobbed, high and in pain. Told her what he’d seen the night before. Hunter hitting and kicking at Aaron, the way Aaron slumped forward. How he’d carried Aaron home. Washed the blood off him with a rag. She knew what was under Aaron’s shirt wasn’t something for them to see.

Derek wakes sometime in the middle of the night. The drugs from the surgery are wearing off and with it his blissful escape from the pain. Licking his dry lips he looks around the room, spotting his sisters and frowning as he tries to find his mother. She’s leaning over another cot, on the other side of the room. He watches her, hears the familiar chorus of Blackbird, and watches her stroke Aaron’s forehead, following the line of the relaxed brow.

It makes him smile, his mother used to sing Whitney Houston to him and his sisters to sleep. He told her about Aaron’s obsession with The Beatles, how of all the records the two of them own that’s the only one Aaron will play. Desiréebought the album, his mother told him a week later. She saved up to get it and was eager for her moment to speak to Aaron about it. To be able to befriend her brother’s boyfriend. That’s about the same time Fran began to hound him about bringing Aaron home, to Chicago. She wanted to meet him.

Fran kisses Aaron’s forehead, waiting another moment just to make sure Aaron’s truly asleep before she stands. “He was having a bad dream,” she tells Derek. In truth, he’d been crying in his sleep. In pain, she could tell, and restless. He’d settled with her there and it made her sad to think that maybe he’d just grown too used to sleeping beside someone else. She’d pulled his blankets closer and sang, just as she did with the other three when they were little. Even when they’re twenty, it still works like a charm.

Fran smiles, tries to soothe Derek’s nerves so he doesn’t worry about Aaron. He’s fine for now, sleeping soundlessly. She sits down on the edge of Derek’s bed, cups his cheek, and asks “how are you feeling?”

Derek just looks over to Aaron, his pale parted lips parted and the bandages holding him together. “Is he okay?” He’d been so scared last night watching Aaron sleep. No amount of Tylenol was doing a thing for his pain. Several times he’d sat up in the night and searched for a pulse, counted the far too many seconds separating each of his breathes. Derek thought Aaron might die right there beside him but he’d been more afraid of what might have happened if they went to the hospital.

Fran sighs, stupid love. It’s cute, she has to admit, but so senseless. “He’s sleeping, he’s okay.” She tries to redirect him, “how do you feel?”

Derek looks back over to Aaron. He looks. There’s more than just those pale lips and the bandages. It’s Aaron. He’s sleeping under multiples blankets and looks like himself. How he always looks when Derek rolls over to face him. He believes his mother, she never lies. “My leg hurts,” he whispers, voice cracking. It’s like the entire thing is pulsing, a continuous stabbing feeling. He cries but not from the pain. They betrayed him. The people he so stupidly thought of as his friends. They hurt him like they’d been hurting Aaron.

He should have known better.

He shouldn’t have been so stupid.

This is his fault.

“Derek?” Aaron sits up, hesitating under the combined attention of Derek and Fran.

Fran stands up, nods Aaron over. “Sit with him,” she offers. “I’ll go get a nurse.”

Aaron nods, still waiting, still hesitating to be where he wants to be. Derek motions him closer, manages to move his body over in the bed. Just enough room for Aaron to squeeze in beside him.

“I don’t think I”m supposed to--”

“Lay down.” Derek can see all the bruises and cuts up close again. He brushes his fingers through the hair above Aaron’s ear, turning his palm to his cheek. Gently tracing the outline of a bandage. “Runaway with me,” he whispers. He thought about it all night long while he watched Aaron sleep. “There’s only four more weeks left of the semester.” Aaron’s smart, he’ll get in anywhere he applies. “We’ll transfer someplace else, anywhere else.”

Aaron frowns, he doesn’t like the idea of this impulsivity. Mostly the number of uncertainties that it creates and the questions. Where will they go? How will they know it’s safe? Are they dropping out? Where will they transfer to? What Aaron can’t get into the college that Derek does?

“Hey,” Derek hushes, he strokes his thumb across Aaron’s cheekbone. “Hey, whatever you’re thinking stop. I’m not leaving, not going anywhere you don’t. We do this together, alright?” He smiles, leans forward, and softly knocks their foreheads together. “Four weeks and all of summer break, okay? That’s plenty of time for a smarty pants like you to figure out where we can go.” It had taken less time for Aaron to conclude Illinois was close enough to home for him to go if something happened to his mother but too far away for her or his brother to come to him.

They’ll figure it out.

“Runaway with me?” he asks one more time.

“Okay.”

[animeyanderelover]

Hi, can I get a yandere Keishin Ukai who's interested in a new girl as their new volleybal team member, please? Like would he be overprotective over them, kidnapp them, stalking them? And if so, how would he deal with another teammates noticing his yandere behaviour and giving hits to a newbie to be careful around him? Thank you very much, i really like your blog. ♥♥♥

The coach, hmm? I did a platonic and romantic version of him since it is possible that he might see her more as a sister rather than a lover given the age gap. I’m actually not a fan of student and teacher, but since a few of my parents closest friends, with whom I grew up with, are 10 years apart, everything in that span is somewhat acceptable. But I refuse to do this for people like Aizawa as long as it isn’t platonic Yandere!

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, stalking, overprotectiveness, romantic interest in a much more younger person,

The new girl

🚬I’m making the s/o a third-year to make the age difference as small as possible. That would make you about 18 years old, giving us an age difference from about 8 years. Since you’re a third-year, there’s a chance that you’re friends with the other third-years who probably wanted you to join them since your first year and after a really long time of trying to convince you, you gave in.

🚬You would be most likely a bit protective over Yachi since she’s a first-year, and whilst just like you new to everything, as the older one and person who isn’t as scared of everything as she is, you might just naturally act that way. It’s similar to Kiyoko who watches over her. You might be in general more watching over the first and second-years since you’re their senpai. You would be ordered as a ‘good’ person in Ukai’s mind, someone who looks out for others and cares for them. I see him in general falling for someone who could be described as the hardworking mother type.

🚬I believe that his reactions would differ whether we’re talking about a platonic version or not. In a platonic version I see him remaining a lot more oblivious than in the other one. Because in here Ukai might just sort his growing overprotectiveness out as feeling worried for the newbie despite the fact that you’re a third year and have Kiyoko and all the other members of the team helping you. He wouldn’t really realize the wrongness of his feelings until something happens where he goes more violent.

🚬If we’re talking about a romantic Ukai, he would feel much more faster and intense embarrassed and deeply ashamed about this. Keishin is an aware Yandere, he knows about the dangers laying in his emotions and would be in general someone who tries to hold himself back. But he has his honor as well, you know? And the moment he would notice how he starts feeling jealous whenever you talk to the boys in the team or gets flustered when you talk to him, he could sink in a hole and not come out because he knows that this is inappropriate.

🚬Platonic!Ukai wouldn’t be jealous, he would be more worried. Because you’re surrounded by boys, too many boys for his taste and they all come running to you when they need a bit help in something. He does trust this boys a bit, they’re his team after all, but he doesn’t trust them too much either, especially when it comes to you. He is kind of worried that someone might use you for your kindness and boys in their teenager years are the not dangerous to deal with, he used to be one himself. He’s especially worried if Nishinoya and Tanaka should have the same fixation on you like with Kiyoko. It leads him to somewhat sticking during training sessions closer to you or asking you to help him organizing stuff, about anything to keep you away from all the boys. He would also try to keep the boys away from you and keep them busy so they don’t go anywhere near you.

🚬He would act more like an overprotective brother in here, being really friendly with you, asking you everyday how you’re doing and if perhaps one of the boys is annoying you. If you should visit his shop, he would always give you snacks for free or at the very least make you pay less for them. Doesn’t count for the others, they would be afterwards all whiny because they didn’t get special treatment which leads them to accusing him he does this because you’re a girl. He’s always in a good mood when he is with you and would feel proud if you should ask him for help or advices. It makes him feel like you trust him and he wants to be a person you see as mature and come too if you need help with anything.

🚬It’s the complete opposite with a romantic!Ukai. In this scenario he would somewhat shy away from you because not only has he currently the most difficult time of his life after discovering his feelings, but he also knows what everyone will think when finding out about this. If worse comes to worse, everyone, including you, would feel disgusted of him and call him names, him getting kicked out of the school and maybe even from his own mother kicked out of the store since she would feel ashamed of her own son. So he tries to limit the interactions with you to a minimum, more watching from a distance and trying to keep quiet, even if he is jealous of the many boys.

🚬And yes, in here he would be more of a stalker since he is too nervous to be too close to you. He wouldn’t follow you home or anything, he just kind of watches over you a bit so nothing happens. The age gap just makes him feel like he lived longer and has more experience whilst you are still missing a lot more in comparison to him. At the same time he realizes how immature he is, not to mention that there is something very wrong about this, for falling for someone in High School! He feels like he is acting exactly like a boy in High School as well, he can’t speak nor hold eye contact with you without getting totally flustered which is why he distances himself in the first place. Because he fears he would be too obvious with his feelings. He talks more through Kiyoko and the other teammates with you and if he seems to notice that you overworked yourself a bit or it seems like something is bothering you, he would ask Kiyoko to tell you that he told her to look more after yourself. It’s ridiculous, but the only method he can think of right now.

🚬With him as a platonic Yandere the chances of others noticing are in my opinion less likely than if he would be in actual love with you. Because in this scenario it’s just obvious that he likes you the most from all, judging from the way he constantly hangs around you, gives you free snacks and barks as soon as one of the boys comes to close to you. He’s openly acting like a brother trying to keep his younger sister away from other boys at this point and some of the members are joking about this. The need to do something in here wouldn’t be that big because it just looks more harmless and ridiculous and as long as nothing catastrophic happens, it will stay that way. The only time where others might warn you about being more careful around him is when he becomes a bit too overprotective. But thing is that they know that he does because he cares for you as a student and member of the team which makes it more acceptable.

🚬That would be different if he is in actual love with you because that’s the scenario where everyone will become more cautious around him and protective over you. Because in here everyone can agree that his feelings are wrong and not suited for a coach of their team. They don’t have real proof, but it unnerves them how he keeps staring at you from a distance, glares at every male being that comes too close to you and whilst he is careful with it, he was caught a couple of times somewhat trailing behind you. And in all honesty, Keishin can’t really blame them if they should warn you about him, even though his darker thoughts will. His sane side even thinks that you need to be warned of him and the Karasuno team warning you just leads him to walking on egg shells since now everyone is watching him and he knows Takeda will throw him out of he slips up one more time. It’s everything, but a pleasant experience for him.

🚬In both scenarios he wouldn’t kidnap you, even after you graduate from Karasuno. Him as an overprotective brother version would most likely throw a drama when you do and babble about you being careful now, to take care of yourself, to not date any boys, things like this. He will be hugely upset if you move somewhere further away from this town for your college, but that’s no reason to kidnap you. Not for him. He would also ask you to contact him once in a while so he knows what you’re doing and whilst this might come over as creepy, at this point everyone knows that he acts and feels like a not blood-related sister about you, you as well.

🚬Him being romantically interested would give him maybe more temptation to kidnap you. But he wouldn’t for two reasons. The first one is that he can feel the mistrusting gazes of the whole team even when they aren’t there and so he knows that, if you should disappear, he would be made suspect number one which he would like to avoid. The second is his awareness of this whole situation. He’s convinced that he is messed up for falling for a student in the first place which is why he won’t kidnap you. You deserve better and he doesn’t need another reminder that he is sick. So despite his brain screaming at him to not let you go, he would be mentally strong enough to let you go. If you stay in contact with some of the members, he would try to ask through them how you’re doing, maybe, if your college isn’t too far away, drive for a while with his care by to check on you. He might even confess to you some day, but that would only be after you graduated, have your own job and are a grownup.

[echoes-of-the-clockwork]

Book Two: Sapphire (Ignis x Reader) Chapter III

The next morning, Gladio dragged Noctis out of bed so they could leave. Ignis finished dressing himself and looked around the motel room. He couldn't find Prompto or (Y/n). Having no doubt the boy had taken the spirit again, he walked out of the room. Scanning the area, he immediately found the two. What shocked him was Prompto's position. He was laying down on the ground on his stomach, his legs swinging back and forth. His camera was trained on the skvader as she laid down on the ground.

"C'mon, work with me here, (Y/n)!" Prompto begged. "How about you hide behind the motel and transform? And when you're ready, you can call me."

The spirit yawned, her nose wiggling slightly. She flopped down on her side with a faint grunt. Lowering his camera, Prompto nibbled on his bottom lip. "Okay, that was really adorable, but not what I was looking for."

"Prompto," Ignis called out, stepping off the porch of the motel. "You'll soil your clothes laying on the ground in such a manner."

"Aaand Mama Ignis has appeared," he sighed. Pushing himself off the ground, he held his camera close to his chest. "Morning to you too, Iggy."

(Y/n) shot up at hearing his name. She dashed over to the advisor and climbed up his body until she was situated on his left shoulder. She threw her long tail around his shoulders, nuzzling her body against the side of his neck. Once she was comfortable, she flopped down and allowed her hind legs to dangle from his shoulder.

Just then, Gladio and Noctis exit the motel room. Ignis glances at his other companions before deciding it was time to leave. "Let's see ourselves to Galdin, shall we?"

"Might as well," Noctis mumbled tiredly.

The group climbs into the Regalia and departs from Longwythe Rest Area. (Y/n) remained on Ignis' shoulder as he drove, enjoying the sensation of the wind blowing through her fur. She looked around as they passed through a ravine of sorts as the radio came to life. The station was broadcasting the news of the upcoming wedding between Noctis and Lunafreya. She could hear Gladio teasing the prince slightly when the broadcast ended, but tuned them out and continued to enjoy the scenery. It was her first time outside of the Crown City and she wanted to enjoy every second of it.

When Galdin Quay came into view from the highway, Prompto stood up in his seat in excitement. "Hey! I see the sea!"

"I "sea" it too," Noctis replied, eyes focused on the clear waters of the ocean.

"That's Galdin Quay," Ignis informed the group.

"Kinda wanna go for a dip," Gladio commented.

Noctis noticed the strange rock formation in the distance. "That a big mountain behind it?"

"No, it's an island," the strategist answered.

"Nobody goes to Galdin for an island, though," Prompto stated. "They go to kick back and get massages!"

"And savor the seafood. It's famously delicious."

"Sounds great," Noctis said.

"Somethin' to look forward to," the shield claimed.

(Y/n) couldn't tear her gaze away from the beautiful beaches of Galdin Quay. The water was clear and the sand was pure white. She already knew what she wanted to do, even though it would risk revealing her human form to Noctis, Gladio, and Prompto. She was going to relax on the beach and nothing was going to get in her way, not even Ignis.

Arriving at Galdin Quay, Ignis backed the Regalia up into a parking spot located by the gas pump. Everyone exited the vehicle and headed towards the Mother of Pearl. Walking across the lengthy boardwalk, they reach the entrance of the restaurant/hotel. A member of the staff greeted them, bowing politely with a hand over his chest. Their destination was the docks, which were located in the back.

They didn't make it far before two men approached them. The taller one had unkempt hair and was cladded in multiple layers of dark clothing. The other man had spiky black locks and wore a faded green jacket with a black t-shirt underneath. Below the waist he wore matching combat pants and black boots. Around his neck swayed the dog tags of what appeared to be his identification as a hunter.

The auburn-haired man was the first to speak. "I'm afraid you're out of luck."

"Are we?" Noctis asked, slightly bothered by the men's presences. He wanted them gone as soon as possible and he had no idea why.

"The boats bring you here."

"What about 'em?" Prompto wondered.

"You're not leaving anytime soon," the spiky-haired man answered. "Better get comfortable."

Gladio crosses his arms, glancing between the two strangers. "And what're your stories?"

"We're impatient travelers, ready to turn ship. The ceasefire's getting us nowhere," the auburn-haired man replied. He then gestures to his companion, who tosses a coin at Noctis.

Gladio snatches it out of the air before it can hit the prince. He examined the coin before looking back up at the strange men. "What's this? Some sort of souvenir?"

Prompto saw the coin and gaped. "They make those?"

Noctis also saw the coin and shook his head. "What? No."

"Consider it your allowance," the taller gentleman remarked with a small, unsettling smile.

"Yeah, and who's allowing us?" The shield scoffed.

He bowed slightly. "Men of no consequences." He then patted his companion on the shoulder. "Come, dear friend. Let us set off."

The spiky-haired man stood still as if her feet were nailed to the floor. He didn't budge as his emerald eyes dwelled on the skvader resting on Ignis' shoulder. Her sapphire eyes locked with his, earning a smirk from the stranger before turning to follow his friend.

"Yeah, right," Noctis sneered under his breath.

Prompto fiddled with his fingers in wonderment. "You believe what those guys said about the port being closed?"

"I'm skeptical, though I won't discount the possibility," Ignis replied.

"I say we go check it out for ourselves," Gladio said.

Walking through the Mother of Pearl, they pass by numerous of people who were enjoying what Galdin Quay had to offer. (Y/n) jumped off the strategist's shoulder and flew to the docks ahead of the boys. She sat near the edge of the docks and gazed out across the ocean. There were no boats in sight.

When she turned around, her eyes landed on a well-dressed young man who was sitting on one of the benches with his legs crossed. She realized he was staring at her with a wide-eyed expression. Carefully approaching him, she sat down a few inches from him. Her tail swished behind her as she squeaked at him, startling him.

The young man, having never met a guardian before, leant down and outstretched his hand to pet her. He was hesitant, but he pushed his fear aside when she stood up on her hind legs and nudged her head against his hand. "Well, aren't yous a friendly one."

(Y/n) looked away from the man when she heard Prompto groan out, "Aw, man. Not a ship in sight. What gives?"

The guardian turned around to see the boys were searching the docks for boats. The young man who was petting her stopped and addressed her companions. "According to my sources, the empire, giving strict orders not to let any vessels leave the docks of Altissia. Real shame if you were late to your own wedding-right, Prince Noctis? Name's Dino, by the way. Pleasure. The crown prince of Lucis, bounty hunting in his fancy car... Surely you didn't think it'd go unnoticed-at least not by this reporter? Lucky for you, this reporter has integrity. If you wanna remain incognito, I'll respect your wish...in exchange for a favor."

Noctis glared at him and kept himself from lashing out in anger at the man's threat. "What do you want?"

"Hey, I knew you'd come around!" Dino cheered. "Lemme see your map."

Reluctantly, the prince hands over the map. Dino pulls out a pen from his pocket and circles an area on the map. Putting the pen away, he handed the map back to Noctis. "Marked where you need to go on your map. All you gotta do is find me some rough gemstones-like this one. Do this, and your ship'll come in. Don't, and the papers'll run you outta town. Capisce?"

(Y/n) stared Dino down as the boys walked away. She didn't blink, which frightened him slightly. Although he was trying to hide his emotions behind a mask, she could tell from his silver gaze he would never truly blow Noctis' cover.

Satisfied with her analysis, she let out a final squeak before flying off to rejoin the others. She caught up with them just as they were stepping off the boardwalk. She wound up crash-landing on Noctis' head. She hung limply from his head with a faint huff. The prince tensed slightly when she collided with his head, but this wasn't the first time she's done so. He grabbed her small body and held her at eye level a few inches from his face. "Don't think I didn't see you with that reporter. You on his side now?"

Outstretching her front paws, (Y/n) made sure her sable claws were retracted before placing her paws on Noctis' cheeks. She squeaked, tapping her soft paws against his face lightly. A smile blossomed on the prince's face. He couldn't help but find her actions adorable. "Yeah, I know you would never betray us. You and Specs are attached at the hip."

The skvader climbed across Noctis' arm the moment he released her. She perched herself on his shoulder as he entered the backseat of the Regalia. Ignis, Gladio, and Prompto followed suit and it wasn't long before they left Galdin Quay to find what Dino requested.

Not far down the road, Ignis pulled the car over to the shoulder and parked. Everyone stepped out of the vehicle and followed Noctis up a stony path. They crossed over a rocky overhang that spanned across the road below. The prince, along with (Y/n) who was still on his shoulder, carefully examined the map before putting it away.

Eventually, they reach an outcrop where they find an enormous bird slumbering. It ruffled its feathers in its sleep, burying its beak against its puffed out chest. Prompto gasped at the sight of the immense beast. "Oh em gee. We're supposed to get near that thing?"

"Pipe down before you wake it up," Gladio hissed just above a whisper.

Crouching, Noctis took the lead and carefully maneuvered around the bird. The others were close behind him, eyes focused on the creature as they held their breath. (Y/n) flattened her small form against the prince's shoulder as they circled around the front of the bird. She could sense just how powerful it was due to its size alone.

Successfully making it past the zu, Noctis stalked over towards a mineral deposit. He grabbed one of the loose pieces of garnet stone and put it into his pocket. He glanced at (Y/n) from the corner of his eye once receiving a soft squeak in response to being able to find and secure what Dino wanted. "Better get it back to him," he whispered to her. She nodded her head in response.

Turning around, Noctis proceeded back the way they came. Ignis was by his side as they rounded around the zu. Unfortunately, the large bird was awoken by a seemingly unknown force. It unfurls its wings, flapping them as hard as it could and creating a powerful gust of wind. (Y/n) dug her claws into Noctis' jacket in a desperate attempt to keep herself from being blown away. Morosely, it wasn't enough. Her small body was sent sailing through the air as the zu took off.

Luckily, Ignis was close by and saw what happened. He snatched her body out of the air and held her close. He loosened his grip on her after the wind died down and the bird was out of sight. "Off it goes..."

Noctis inhaled deeply to calm his racing heart. "Oh, we made it out alive."

"Barely. I seriously thought we were at journey's end," Prompto whimpered.

"But that feat was fit for a king," Gladio commented.

"We've acquired what we came for. Time to return to Galdin," the advisor said. He released (Y/n) and watched her fly around without the fear of being blown away. She went ahead of the boys and returned to the Regalia.

Prompto had also been watching her until she vanished from sight. "You're not scared she'll fly off and never return, Iggy?"

"Not in the slightest," the tactician answered without hesitation. "The bond we share is unquestionable."

"In other words, you both like each other so much you stick together," Gladio smirked with a chuckle.

""Like" is not a plausible word to describe the bond between (Y/n) and I," Ignis corrected the shield. "What we share is far beyond "like"."

"Just saying how I see it."

The advisor's eyes narrowed at him. He wanted to question him, but he walked off before he could. With a sigh, he shook his head and followed after his friends.

During the car ride back to Galdin Quay, (Y/n) was in the backseat with Noctis and Gladio. Descending the windy road leading to their destination, she shoved her head into the prince's pocket, startling him. "H-Hey, (Y/n)!" Looking down, he saw her head pop out of his pocket with the fragment of garnet in her mouth. He wondered what she was going to do with it until he watched her fly out of the car and towards Galdin Quay. "Someone's impatient..."

The skvader was indeed impatient. She was eager to relax on the beach and that would only happen as soon as she could sneak away from the group and transform. She thought delivering the garnet to Dino herself would speed up the process. Why? She wasn't exactly sure.

Landing on the bench beside Dino, she placed the stone down and nudged it towards him with her nose. He picked it up, examining it closely to ensure it was what he asked for. A mix between a smirk and a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "Would yous look at that? Just what I asked for!" He immediately got to work creating his newest piece of jewelry. (Y/n) watched in amazement as he turned the small stone into a beautiful bracelet with what supplies he had with him. Once he was done, he admired his craftsmanship. "Gotta say, this is my best piece so far."

Just then, the boys arrived. Dino reveals his newest creation to them and handed it to Noctis. "Nice work, kid! Sorry for giving you such a hard time. I just had to get my hands on this, even if it meant blackmail. You understand, don't ya? Y'see, I'm a reporter by day, and an amateur jeweler by night. This elusive little beauty's gonna become a masterpiece. To make it up to you, I'll share a little scoop. That special coin you got-it commemorates the Oracle's ascension. That guy was tossing 'em out to everyone. Musta picked 'em up back in Niflheim. And speaking of freebies, here's one from me. Come back if you wanna buy more!"

Ignis eyed the fine piece of jewelry as Noctis accepted it from Dino. "I doubt a souvenir like that could make its way into the hands of an ordinary citizen."

"Well, it's our pocket change now," Prompto commented.

"As promised, I'm in the process of securing your ferry tickets right now. Told ya, I'm a man of integrity. Should be smooth sailing from here, so lemme know when you're ready to ship out," Dino stated.

The prince crossed his arms. "We've been ready."

"Guess I should've expected that," the reporter cackled. "The ship won't arrive 'til tomorrow! How 'bout you find a place to spend the night?"

Prompto glanced around at his friends. "Do we even have the money to spend the night?"

"We could always go camping instead," the brute spoke up.

"We do have the funds to secure a hotel room. Although, it will be the only one for a while until we procure more funds," Ignis explained.

"No way I'm camping if we can afford a hotel room," Noctis said. "You guys go do that. I'm gonna do some fishing."

"Can't let His Highness go alone," Gladio stated. "I'll go with you."

"Me too!" Prompto waves his hand in the air. "I wanna take pictures of the beach!"

"Then (Y/n) and I shall make arrangements," the advisor informed the others. Noctis, Gladio, and Prompto left the docks to head to the beach. Ignis and (Y/n) headed towards the rooms available inside the restaurant and paid 10,000 gil for one. They entered the large, beautiful room where the spirit changed forms. She sat on the edge of the bed for a few seconds before flopping down on her back. Her (h/c) locks fanned out across the sheets as she stared up at the ceiling.

"Feeling enervated?" Ignis questioned as he had been watching her.

"A little," she confessed. "Sleeping has been difficult to do ever since we left the city. Even napping is difficult."

"Something plagues your mind?" He inquired.

"Nothing like that, but..." The sapphire-eyed girl sat up. She placed her hands in her lap, staring at the floor. "I hear a voice in my sleep, and even sometimes when I'm awake. I've tried to push it aside as nothing, but something tells me I need to listen. Maybe I'm finally going crazy."

"Shall we investigate this voice?"

She shook her head. "No, don't worry about it." Standing up, she walked over to the windows, which made up one entire wall of the room. She admired the beautiful, glistening ocean for some time. She then focused on her reflection in the window. Alongside herself, she saw Ignis sitting down in one of the chairs. He was flipping through the book that held all his recipes. With a huff, she spun around. Her heels clacked against the floor as she walked towards the door.

Ignis looked up the moment she strolled past him. Looking over his shoulder, he called out to her. "(Y/n), where are you heading?"

"The beach. I've been dying to relax ever since we first came here. It'll also help me sort out my thoughts," the guardian replied.

"What of the others?"

"They won't know it's me." She opened the door. "I'll be back soon, Iggy."

Stepping out of the room, she closed the door behind her. Walking through the Mother of Pearl, she could already feel eyes on her as she sauntered by many people. She tried her best to ignore the stares, knowing not many people have seen a guardian due to their scarcity. She clamped a hand over the sapphire gemstone embedded in her chest. She held her breath and sped up her pace so she could reach the exit quicker.

(Y/n) exhaled heavily. She dropped her hand from her chest the moment she was walking across the long boardwalk. She thought she was in the clear, but her eyes widened when she saw Noctis, Gladio, and Prompto were already on their way back. She thought they would've been gone longer. Pushing her thoughts aside, she looked away from them and prayed to the Astrals they would simply stroll past her. However, her prayer went unanswered. The moment her eyes locked with Prompto's, her body tensed. She immediately looked away and continued walking. As she walked past the blonde, she did force herself to look back at him and offer a kind, shy smile.

What she didn't see was Prompto's wide-eyed expression. His jaw was unhinged, hanging in disbelief. He nearly dropped his camera because of the shock he was in. Gladio also took notice of (Y/n), not recognizing who she was. He crossed his arms with a smirk as his eyes watched her head to the beach. "Now there's a woman."

Wondering who his friends were staring at, Noctis looked at the guardian. Just by looking at her, he could feel a sense of familiarity but pushed it aside since he didn't recognize her. He looked away and saw Prompto and Gladio still had their eyes focused on her. "Why're you guys staring?"

"Dude, are you seriously that blind?" Prompto gasped. "We just came across another goddess! That's two in two days!"

"If you're so interested, go talk to her."

"M-Me?"

Gladio smacked him on the back. "Go for it, pipsqueak. If you fail, I'll take over."

"I'll try...."

Meanwhile on the beach, (Y/n) took her heels off and walked across the sand. She didn't mind the sand sticking to the bottom of her tights since she could easily brush it off later. She admired the lapping waves and the various fish swimming around. The salty breeze blew through her (h/c) locks, a sensation she came to enjoy. Even the sun's warmth against her skin felt different. She wasn't sure what it was about the beach that made the sensation different from anywhere else.

A few peaceful minutes ticked by before (Y/n)'s attention was drawn by a small 'click' and a flash. Looking to her left, she saw Prompto with his camera raised. Her eyes widened in surprise at seeing him. She could even see the faint blush on his cheeks, not sure if it was from the sun or embarrassment.

"I-I'm so sorry!" He quickly apologized. "I-I should've asked before taking your picture."

The guardian smiled, desperately trying to suppress her shyness. Morosely, she wasn't successful. "I-It's okay. Is, um...is there something I can help you with?"

The boy shook his head. "N-No, I just thought y-you were really beautiful and it's my job a-as a photographer to capture everything beautiful."

Her smile widened at his pure heart. "That's very sweet of you."

Prompto quickly looked away, his blush deepening. "S-Sorry to bother you."

Before she could reply, he stormed off. She watched him run all the way to the Mother of Pearl, blinking in surprise at how fast he was sprinting. She hadn't expected Prompto to say such a kind, sweet thing to her. Now it was going to be awkward when she would introduce herself to him and the others in the near future.

Sighing, she combed her slightly disheveled hair behind her ears. She closed her eyes for a few minutes, listening to the waves as they lapped against the white sand of the beach. Just like before, her blissful moment was cut short when sensing the presence of another. This time, she was all-too-familiar with the presence and knew who it was before even looking. "Come to join me, Iggy?" Turning her head, she met his emerald gaze. Unlike with Prompto, she didn't stutter. Ignis was the only person she wasn't shy around because of how long they'd been together.

"I have," the strategist answered. "Although under false pretenses."

(Y/n) looked off in the distance and saw Noctis, Prompto, and Gladio watching them closely from the parking lot. They were trying to hide themselves behind one of the vehicles parked. "Oh, no... Is this their plan?"

"More of Gladio's than Noct's or Prompto's."

She placed her heels in the sand. "Is this another bet to see if you can get a woman?" It wouldn't have been the first time the boys had forced Ignis to speak to a woman to see if he did have any charm.

He pinched in the bridge of his nose. "Indeed..."

(Y/n) reminisced in the many memories she's made with him. "Now that I think about it, you never did bring home anyone. I know you're really serious about your dedication to Noctis, but that doesn't mean you don't have time for your own life. Your happiness matters, too."

Ignis casted his gaze to the ocean. He already knew why he hadn't brought home anyone, not even during his high school years. While he had been occupied with juggling school and his duties to the Crown, he always found time for himself in order to keep his sanity in check. Unlike many people his age who were bringing home a special someone, he didn't have to go search for someone who captured his heart. The young woman beside him already captivated his heart without her knowing. He'd been infatuated with her for many years now, but he kept his true feelings bottled up. He was frightened she wouldn't want him in return and even if she did, he was worried he couldn't commit himself fully to the relationship being the advisor of the prince. He didn't want her to feel as if she came second because of his duties.

What Ignis didn't know was that she already felt second in his heart. Ever since formally becoming Noctis' advisor, she was no longer first in his world. She was placed on the back-burner, knowing her life wasn't as important as Noctis'. In her mind, she was disposable. The prince wasn't. Just like Ignis, (Y/n) kept her deepest emotions buried in the darkest corner of her heart. She admired his conviction to his position, not angered in the slightest when she was no longer the most important person to him.

"Ignis?" The guardian gently called out his name after a prolonged silence.

The advisor reconnected his gaze with hers. "Yes?"

"You will find your own happiness, won't you?"

"I will in due time. As should you, (Y/n)."

She didn't care about her own happiness, only his. Faking a convincing smile, she nodded. "I'm sure I will find that special someone soon." It was a bitter lie on her tongue. She clutched the hem of her dress, bunching up the fabric before releasing it. Bending down, she grabbed her heels. Her eyes drifted over to the other boys, smirking slightly when seeing their flabbergasted expressions. "I think we can safely assume you win this bet. Make sure Gladio pays his dues. I'll see you back in the hotel room." She went to walk past him, but stopped. She decided to add a little spice to the mix and kissed him on the cheek. With a prideful smirk, she glanced one last time towards the trio hiding behind a car. "That'll give them something to talk about."

Ignis watched (Y/n) as she slipped on her heels and left the beach. He placed a hand on his hip, remembering how soft her lips were against his cheek. She'd kiss him like that many times before, but this time it felt different. He wasn't sure why, though. From where he stood on the beach, he could hear Prompto's wails of disbelief. He could hear him complaining about how he was able to score a kiss on a cheek from the girl before she left. His own smirk tugged at the corners of his lips, but it never came to fruition. (Y/n) truly did stir up the pot with such a simple action. Now, he would have to spin a tale to prevent the others from figuring out who she truly was.

Previous Chapter || Next Chapter || Masterlist

[honeybeekao]

i also have two thoughts. ok so first off is romana who is Extremely aro-coded imo (she doesn't understand marriage refuses to get married and dislikes being flirted with lol). she's also raised in a repressive society which teaches her to be cold and closed off rather than teaching her how to express her emotions and she was bullied and manipulated by a powerful spirit (though she doesn't realise any of this). so by the time she's an adult she's introduced to the doctor and he more or less forces her to unlearn time lord bullshit and like. they love each other (they're both aro lol). it's incredibly heavily implied (though never outright stated) and my thought is just that. romana has always been taught that love is wrong and unnatural and doesn't really understand love especially not romantically so when she learns to love the doctor (mostly as a friend to begin with) and she just... doesn't know how to handle it. and she gets increasingly frustrated until she essentially breaks down crying (this isn't canon but it should be) and yells at the doctor. and then they talk through their shit and bond and fall into... some kind of relationship lol

my second thought is about bbc ghosts, specifically sophie (who is. a side character but i digress) married against her will to humphrey (also married against his will). they're pretty much trapped in a loveless marriage because they don't know how to communicate with each other and sophie understandably does not like him very much. anyway in canon he dies but she escapes (after plotting treason) but i have an au which is like. what if they both stay around as ghosts. over the span of about 400 years they slowly become VERY close friends but as above repressive society with very specific ideals of what people should be like (particularly women in this scenario). humphrey's body unfortunately has a mind of its own and (this bit is actually canon) fucks an extremely repressive edwardian woman. no, humphrey's head is not attached at the time. anyway in this au when sophie (who is already not great at dealing with her emotions at all) finds she's furious but unable to explain why and essentially confuses the hell out of pat and mary (other ghosts around at the time) and to be honest everyone because she's very rarely outwardly emotional like that. pat's like "what's wrong? as in, shy are you reacting like this?" and she just can't articulate it at all. about ten minutes later she storms back to wherever fanny & humphrey's body (it should be noted she's been storming around with humphrey's head this entire time) & sticks his head back on his body and (to fanny, the edwardian) snaps at her because "if you don't love all of him then you don't love him at all!" anyway for the other ghosts a lot of things suddenly make sense. fanny is suitably offended and leaves in a huff. pat goes "...do you maybe love humphrey yourself?" she says "don't be stupid, i- wait. fuck, you're right." and then she and humphrey kiss. for added comedy later on alison talks to everyone about it and as it turns out she and humphrey already had sex several hundred years ago (thomas, who had to hear it, is still annoyed about it) and alison is just like. huh. you lot are idiots. which is true, they are

also. can i send you an ask about how i think romana & sophie are actually. pretty similar

HELLO OH MY GOD everything about bbc ghosts feels so Hysterical to me, i ADORE reading every one of your thoughts on it, truly. it's the energy of a background tv show from my childhood playing where i pay attention sometimes and actually get invested because oh my God.

oh man romana <//3 growing up in such a repressed environment and... learning to accept feelings 🥺🥺 ough. Ough. i consider watching dr who everytime you say to, know this (speaking of.. Where can i watch it)

humphrey shenanigans oh boy everytime you talk about him i laugh. THIS AU IS HILARIOUS FJXFJFZFJZXCH you should write it if u havent already

GOD this is all very good i love your tv show blorbos to pieces thank you

[artxyra]

So I had this idea and I was wondering if you would write it. So damian has lived with his dad for a couple of years, he is 15/16 and his brothers have been nagging him about going on a date like a normal teenager for months now, and then one day he just snaps and screams at them " don't you get it I'm already betrothed!" His brothers are confused but try to help " I'm sure we can find a loophole and get you out of it!" "No. If the betrothal is broken the league will kill her."enter marinette.

Note: Well this story sounded better in my head, but it took forever to type up. I hope you enjoy it. 

Damian couldn’t remember a time when his brothers didn’t make an attempt at his love life. Every other month (sometimes weeks) it was attempt after attempt.  He hated it. At first, he humored his brothers, but that humor quickly turned to the opposite emotion. Though Damian’s biggest secret thought that it was hilarious, and it was.

Damian remembers their first attempt, he was only fourteen, been in the Waynes’ custody for almost four years. He remembers being tugged into a bathroom and then forces to wear silly fancy clothes. His brothers should have been lucky that he didn’t have his weapons on him. To them, it was to gain the high school boy experience since Damian refused to do any of the sorts. Shouldn’t they just happy that he has one friend at the very least? Nope, they really wanted Damian to have a sense of normality.

“Baby bird, every teen goes on a date. Please just do this for us.” It was Dick that had started the persuasion. Damian had only tsk and fold his arms against his chest. He was already fed up with all the bullshit spewing from the older adopted Wayne’s mouth.

“Why should I even do this? I barely know the har—girl and—” Damian begins to scowl as Dick interrupts him by tossing a vest for him to wear. He mentally gags at the texture of the vest. Damian had scene better quality, not that he’ll tell where.

“We promise it will be worth it.”  It was Tim that adds to the conversation as Jason was to busy cleaning up his knife in broad daylight.

It wasn’t long after that was the date with a Gotham native. She wasn’t up to his standards; it was clear that she didn’t want to be with him for him. To this day he suspects that she only agreed because of the money. Damian tried everything to make the date super uncomfortable for the girl even going so far as to make up an explicitly detailed gory story. She left cursing his brothers, mainly Dick, out at the end of their date.

Damian had thought that would be the one and only time that would happen…he had forgotten the stubbornness that runs in the family. Failing was not an option as this continues for another four years.

“I’m sure it was a fun date.” A female’s voice says from the screen of his laptop, that was place on his dresser as he does shadow movements with his katana.

“It was tiresome, Angel, and quite frankly I’m getting sick of it.” Damian lowers the blade to his side and turns to face the screen. On the screen is a lovely female, around his age with long dark hair that drapes over her shoulders. She lets out a giggle.

“I’m sure they have the best intentions, besides it’s not like they know I exist, anyway.” She says rolling her eyes.

“Angel, I love you, but not even you can last an evening with the dates they have set up over and over again.” Damian sighs putting up the katana. He then picks up the laptop and goes to lie on his bed.

“Well, I’m sure it will all be fine. Besides, I have a surprise for you that is coming soon. Just hold out until then. Okay?” She says with a bright as a loud sound goes off in the background. Damian sighs and nods before ending the video call. He hates keeping her a secret, but it was the right thing to do.

It was a week later when his brothers came to him with another blind date proposal signally the tenth time that has happened in a span of a month. Everyone could see the growing frustration in the young Wayne heir. With the mention of dates, couples, restaurant, manhood, romance, it would set Damian off, although he was quick to calm down with a message from an Angel.

“Look Demon spawn, she is literally perfect for you.” It was an excuse, something for him to look forward to. No one is perfect.  

“C’mon baby bird, she could be the one.” Another excuse. There was only one girl that was the one and she’s several hundred thousand miles away.

“Go, it all fancy and shit, also the NDA.” Ugh, this was becoming numbing. Damian could only wish to slide his fine blade across all their necks. Also, why the hell would Jason even mention an NDA to him in the first place?

“What is this? Another blind date for the young master?” Thank god for Alfred.

“Alfred, we promise this will be the last time.” That’s a lie and he knows it.

Damian could feel the growing headache forming at the back of his mind. Dick’s moving too fast, Tim’s giving him all the details about his so-called date, and well Jason is just being Jason.

“Enough!” Damian finally breaks. “The reason why I don’t like going on these so-called blind dates is because I’m betrothed to someone.” The word betrothed rings through the heads of his family members.

“Wha~!” Simultaneously, the older Waynes’ minds break.

“Is there any way you can break it off? A loophole even? How are you betrothed?” Shouldn’t that had been asked backward? They could all see the steam oozing out of Damian’s ears.

Crossing his arms and turning his back to his brothers, Damian looks down. “No, not unless you want a death on your hands. The only way to end a betrothal is to kill the other, that has always been the League’s away of things.” The second the last word left his lips, Damian walks away; he needs to talk with his Angel.

Still in shock, everyone turns to one another.

“How could we have missed that?” Tim screeches before taking a sip from his mug despite the shaking in his hand.

Dick was unsure what to say, think, or do. It’s not every day you learn the brother you’ve been setting up is engaged. An engagement that they could not break.

“I’m more worried who the brat is engaged too?” Jason murmurs then proceed to clean out his gun. His brothers stare at him with wide eyes unsure what to say to the second oldest.

For the next week after that bomb drop, his brothers continue to pester him about his betrothal, they even managed to include Bruce in the conversation a couple of times. If it wasn’t for Alfred, Damian knows that the pestering would have left someone in the hospital.

On a rare sunny day in Gotham, Damian had taken Titus out for a walk. It was clear his mind and to get away for the time being. Finding a nice park bench to sit on, he pulls out a small sketchpad and begins to sketch. Titus runs around enjoying the outdoors.

“Is this spot taken?” The voice sounded so familiar. He grunts ever once looking up the person afraid that he had misheard the voice. “Oh, c’mon Dams, I thought you would be happy to see me.” It was then that he looks up. In shock, he pushes the sketchpad to the side and pulls the person in front of him into his arms.

“I miss you.” He murmurs into her dark hair. “But how?”

“I managed to win the Martha Wayne scholarship, and then your butler Alfred got into contact with me about visiting.” She says looking up to Damian, though she was mainly seeing his chin due to their height difference. “You’ve grown.” She then pouts.

Damian lets out a soft chuckle, hoping that no one outside of his Angel heard him. His Angel places her head against his chest and together they stayed like that until Titus decided that he was some attention.

“Awe, he’s so cute.” She says petting the Great Dane.

Damian was internally happy to have her by his side for the first time in years. She’s the one that is perfect for him and it’s not because she was molded to be, but because she knows him inside and out.

When Damian, Titus, and his Angel returned to the manor, it is Alfred that they see first.

“Welcome home, young master, and Miss Dupain-Cheng.” Alfred greets the teen.

“Alfred, please call me Marinette, my last name can be a mouth full,” Marinette says giving the butler a smile. Alfred nods and proceeds to guide them to the living room. “So, this is the Wayne manor, those photos you send me Dams does this no justice.”

Damian once again chuckles knowing she’ll be in a heavily inspired by the architecture which will then cause her to go dark until she finishes whatever project came out of the inspiration.

“Angel, how about I give you a proper tour of the manor?” He offers to which she gladly takes.

Marinette had been staying at the Wayne manor for a couple of days before Damian brothers make their grand entrance. Without catching sight of the girl, they make their way to the youngest Wayne hoping to get some answers about his betrothal.

“Um, you can ask me if you want,” Marinette says from behind the boys causing an outcry of emotions.

“What you’re real?” It was Tim rubbing his eyes that speaks first.

Marinette awkwardly nods, “And you need sleep. I have a special brew that can knock anyone out within seconds.” She says to Tim before turning to the others. “I’m Marinette, nice to meet you.”

Dick and Jason stare at the girl lost for words. Dick was internally gushing about her size and how cute she is compared to Damian while Jason struggles to comprehend the person in front of him.

Marinette closes the gap between her and Jason. She looks over the second oldest and smiles sadly. “You have so much darkness around you. The same that used to be around Dams. I could help you if you want.” She says taking the male’s hand.

Jason was lost for words. This person was willing to help him. He wasn’t sure how to feel but the light flowing off of this tiny person was overpowering.

“That’s it you’re my new favorite sibling. I will protect you with my life.” Dick cries out starting the competition of who’s Marinette’s favorite brother-in-law.

Not surprisingly enough, Marinette warmed her way into the Wayne family. She even bonded with Steph, Cass, and Barbara whenever the girls came over for a girls-only day. Damian quickly was reminded why he didn’t want his family to know about her, seeing that he barely has time with her as his siblings take all the time away. Though it has it’s benefits. He can now visit Marinette in France without needing to sneak away and she could come to visit the manor whenever she wants.

Damian knew the moment he said “I do”, she’ll be his forever in life and in death just like he’ll be hers forever.

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[crimsonandcloverwrites]

ok bhah ch1 reread thought dump lets goooo

@youngbloodbuzz  @romanitwontletmetagyouuuu??? thank u for writing this. in return I gift u this lightly unhinged commentary

oh the opening quote “Do you think it all meant nothing, all the longing? The longing for home?” violence

lmao ok I started this ages ago and then got distracted for a week because that’s just who I am as a person lets try that again

eddie n his glowing glasses nice we love a canon nod

ok I remember getting really emotional reading the chapter where Dani’s car died bc of what it represented to her n now I’m being reminded of it all again with the ‘poor little car’ comment oh dear we’re like 2 paragraphs in and I’m already compromised

the wavering reflection in the water in her hands..... Dani posessed by the ghost of comphet..... I am Drawing Conclusions

eddie “we can hang out more” dani “aha wouldn’t that be neat”

god the prom photo... remembering Dani’s meltdown at the prom bc she missed Jamie... I’m dying Jack I’m dying

lil palm kiss... I know u will not ever love hm that way Dani but fuck I’m a sucker for a palm kiss

lil nerd ass w her folder tabs I love her

god the tone of this is so comforting like I can just hang out n imagine each scene progressing so naturally. wish I did not have to suffer emotionally at the same time but at least it’s a smooth read

Dani feeling like an invader amongst all the physical representations of her relationship w eddie BABY U DON’T HAVE TO LIVE THIS WAY STOP LETTING OTHER PEOPLE INFLUENCE UR LIFE AND RUIN UR HAPPINESS

“Hannah Grose, seamlessly elegant” yes

Hannah: congrats on ur engagement. Dani, with tears in her eyes: thank

Dani relaxing when they’re talking about teaching pls I love her love for it so much

Dani at the blackboard with the “Miss, Ms?” confusion now I am thinking about the Ted Moseby professor/proffessor scene. HIMYM my beloved

mikeyyyy my boy

the image of Dani w chalk dust on her skirt is v endearing.

oooh the library trip gay foreshadowing yes

wait the silver stars on his backpack......... cup of stars crying time

Mikey correcting her on his name when she was the one to give him the nickname in the first place... feeling some kind of way

Dani fostering the talents she sees in her kids is so sweet and mikey shy lil math genuis is also so sweet pls i love this duo

i do wonder if part of her is like I know a Mikey Taylor but I literally refuse to believe it is the same one bc his sister broke my heart and we are absolutely not in the business of confronting hard feelings in this house!!

keys on a lanyard... ok lesbian

“You’re still here?” the love I have for canon lines being used when I can hear them being said in my head

awww bonding over Wonder Woman. cute!!!! When Dani becomes Mikey’s official second mum (everyone be quiet I am manifesting) my heart will explode

eddie ur really just gonna rock up and toot at her. jail for 1000 years

ooohhh Dani is Realising who the sister is. honey you got a big storm comin. oof (the ‘wonder woman punching stars out of her foes” to “dani feeling like she’s just recieved a blow to the ribs.” the cinnamontography). aw baby :(

“Jamie. Jamie, here. Jamie, home.” please i am thinking about her last letter and I am not strong enough

“Somehow Eddie didn’t notice.” sum up a relationship in a sentence

“Jamie would appear, as if summoned by the gravity of Dani’s pounding heart” fuck this hits on so many levels I need to go think about my life for 45mins

CARSON MY BOY. in his studded leather. a fashionable gay never loses.

I looove how soft n caring Dani n Carson are with each other thank gods she has him.

DID WE EVER FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN CARSON AND JASON MY SPIDEY SENSES ARE STILL TINGLING FROM READING THIS THE FIRST TIME

god this post is already so long n I’m only halfway through why do I have so many silly thoughts

god just the... expectations of affection from her by eddie w that placating cheek kiss she gives him is like... I cannot imagine Jamie ever asking that from her in the same way even when they are in a relationship!!! and it’s not even wrong of him to do that??? but it’s just a lot to think about the kind of person Dani makes herself to be to stay with him vs the kind of person Jamie lets her be by not expecting anything of her. they’re such opposites

dani not even feeling at home in her own (former) home pls when is she going to find a soft place to land (it’s also making me think v hard about the title like... the haunting of Dani and Jamie’s relationship (and what that represents for Dani) on Dani’s whole life and Jamie coming home and bringing that to Dani’s doorstep. resurecting a ghost so to speak........ too many homes to think about. I don’t know if I fully understand but I am Thinking)

dani and her inhaler... asthmatic bitches represent

oh my god not the box of memories. been trying to erase that from my own for weeks now let me live

ooh the line about her feeling like an archaeologist at the start of this section and then her ‘exhuming the past’ w the photos of her n Jamie i love a consistent narrative.

THE MIXTAPE. THE MIXTAPE. is there a playlist for this chapter I would like to take that aural journey

oh no i cannot remember where the flower comes from but aahhh this box of memories pain.

this description of carson in a tight white undershirt tucked into his jeans makes me think of freddie mercury. didn’t mean to make you cry etc

lmao Dani trying to get info from Judy abt Jamie in a roundabout way... international superspy she is not

Dani entirely uncomfy in church... i feel it. godd the repression of it all w the movie and the feelings and the Jamie-influence on the feelings my heart hurts.

God knowing how much Judy loves her but the weight of that love also stifling her... pain

they’ve really got her all shacked up w a house and a husband and a kid on the way can we let the girl be a lesbian in peace (also lowkey hoping Dani gets some time on her own at some point no Eddie no Jamie no weight of expectations pls she needs it we all need it)

the thread of Dani refusing to do things for herself in order to make other people happy throughout this entire piece hits so fucking close to home and is entirely heartbreaking to read thank you

jamiiiiieeeeeeeee

Jamie: appears. Dani: every single emotion all at once

Judy and her girls back together is v sweet even if Dani is dying inside at it all

“Jamie only had eyes for Dani.” Again, sum up a relationship in a sentence.

What do you even say to a girl who *the sky goes dark as i attempt to even summarise a fraction of their relationship*. Apparently the answer is “Jamie. Hi.”

TWO MONTHS JAMIE TAYLOR. CRIMES

It’s ahh. fairly entertaining to be going through Dani’s emotional journey alongside her and knowing that Jamie is also Going Through It on some level but having 0 insights to it bc she keeps her emotions so in check.

oooh how much of a gut punch is this engagement revelation for Jamie??? like on some level I’m sure she always knew this was coming but I’m sure another part of her still desperately hoped one day Dani would choose her. god I would kill for Jamie’s POV in this scene

Jamie’s scarrrr. Literally Dani’s impact

oh fucking hell that moment of like... familiarity and almost a coming home for Dani when Judy is talking and she meets Jamie’s eyes... she really was entirely screwed from that moment on huh.

oof god this is a hell of an opening chapter lets see if my attention span will let me continue this journey (also @ myself reminder to read this all in chronological order one day for a real nice session of emotional destruction)

[babygirlgalitzine]

we all need time (ao3)

Ever since they got the confirmation of their wedding date, it’s been on every calendar, with a big red circle and at least three exclamation points marking it as important. There’s even been a countdown on their phones, ticking away to the exact time that they would become husbands. Every day since then that passes, is just another day closer to the wedding. 

From the moment the confirmation email came through, the planning has been going full steam ahead, and even though it was overwhelming at first, they were soon able to get the hang of it. From then on, it had been a breeze, luckily. There’s been barely any arguments over what flavour of cake to get, or what colour ties to wear. It’s been easy, simple even. It’s almost funny how this is now the second wedding that Callum has been involved in, and yet this time he actually cares enough to plan it, even caring about the table decorations and which song they may want to have their first dance to. It’s such a stark contrast to his first wedding, in every sense. This time, he’s happy. This time, he knows exactly what he wants - and that’s Ben.

Even though they didn’t argue over the little things, there’s always something that goes wrong with every wedding, or causes an argument. For Ben and Callum, that was the seating plan.

The thing is, Ben has a huge family, they both know that. Even with half of his family out of the country, it’s still massive. Even Ben doesn’t know how he’s related to half the people that call themselves his family, and he’s not entirely sure that they know either. He doesn’t want all of his so-called family there either, but he also knows that an argument would probably arise if he neglected to invite certain people, so his best bet was to just invite them to the evening reception. But then when it came to the actual seating plan, Callum had three people to put on it. 

Three. 

And only one of those three are his actual, blood related family. 

Ben saw how much that had upset Callum, seeing everything put into perspective, seeing how many people would be there for Ben, and how little would be there for Callum. So Ben hatched a plan to find Callum’s mum. 

His first port of call was Stuart, who had told Ben that Callum wouldn’t even remember her, but eventually had told him where he last knew her to be staying. It ended up being another week or two until Ben managed to track her down, and even then he didn’t know what to say. He just wrote a letter, explaining who he was, and how Callum wants family at his wedding. He left it in a letterbox, half the envelope still hanging out, just in case he decided against it and went back to pull it out, but by the time he was reversing away in his car, the edge of the envelope was gone from sight.

It’s two weeks and three days now until the wedding, and Callum’s job for the day is making sure that all the things for the table decorations have finally arrived. Ben’s out working unexpectedly, needing to go and deliver a car just over an hour away, so Callum’s downstairs on the sofa with a list on the coffee table and the decorations all over the floor. The wedding playlist is playing out of his phone, and he’s content. He’s just about to tick off the first lot of items when there’s a knock at the door. He sighs and puts the pen down, turning the music off before he stands up with a crick of his knees and walks towards the door. 

“If you’ve forgotten your keys again I’ll glue them to your han-” Callum opens the door and finds a woman standing outside. She looks upset, nervous even. “Are you ok?” Callum asks thoughtfully, because it’s Callum.

The woman lets out a soft chuckle, her eyes never leaving Callum’s. He sees something familiar in her, but he’s not sure what. “Well I was expecting you to be taller than the last time I saw you, but not quite this tall!” 

It’s as though his life almost flashes before his eyes, a million memories from his childhood coming back all in one big rush. He knows exactly who she is then. “M-mum?” He stutters out, his heart racing.It’s only a moment or two, such a short span of time, but he goes through so many emotions all at once - shock, anger, hatred. 

“Are you gonna invite me in then?” She asks as if butter wouldn’t melt, as if she hadn’t left him one day, just walked out and never came back home.

Callum doesn’t have it in him to respond verbally, he just moves to the side, holding the door open for her. He watches as she walks into his home, and it’s something that he’s always thought of happening, but also has always known that it was stupid to even think about. 

“What are you doing here?” He asks, shutting the door behind them. There’s something in his voice, a shakiness. Nerves. “How did you even find me?”

She sits down - his mum sits down - and the first thing she sees is a photo on the side, one of Ben, Callum and Lexi, taken on a day out at the beach. “Nice family set up I see.” She comments, nodding towards the photo frame.

A chill goes down Callum’s spine, worried and fearful because she doesn’t know him, not anymore. She doesn’t know who he is or what he’s been through or how he’s come out of the other side. His previous coming out to a parent didn’t exactly go to plan, and he doesn’t have the strength to go through all of that again, not now.  

“I got a letter through my door the other day.” She states. “Someone called Ben? Is that him?”

Callum smiles to himself at the mention of Ben, though he’s still full of nerves. He nods. “So you know?”

“The wedding?” She asks. “Yeah. Apparently he’d spoken to your brother, and then did a bit of digging and found me. Wanted to ask if I would come to the wedding. Can’t imagine it’s gone down well with your father.” 

Callum shrugs. “He’s nothin’ to me anymore. Never really has been. I’ve got my family now.”

There’s a quiet intake of breath, but she knows she deserves that. “So I’ve got a granddaughter. What’s her name?”

“Lexi. She’s Ben’s through and through.” Callum says, because it’s true. She’s getting his cheeky side more and more everyday. 

“I remember when you were that little.” His mum reminisces, though the moment’s soon broken up by Callum’s loud scoff. 

He looks her straight in the eyes and speaks. “I was younger than Lex when you walked out.” He deadpans. “You just left! You walked out and never came back. You know, I used to sit up at night, listening to Jonno drinking himself half to death, hitting Stu so he didn’t come and hit me, begging for you to come back and save us. But you never did.”

A tear falls down Callum’s cheek, staining his skin momentarily before he wipes it away. He’s never told anyone that before. 

“I never wanted to leave you boys with him. I was trying to get away, find somewhere for us to live, and when I came back to get you both, the house was boarded up, you’d moved somewhere else and nobody would tell me where.” Her emotions get the better of her and she starts to shed tears too, wiping them away with the sleeve of her cardigan. “After that, I couldn’t find you. I didn’t even know where to start, you could’ve been anywhere, and then the longer it went on, the more I started to think that you didn’t need me anymore.”

Callum looks up to the ceiling, squeezing his eyes shut so tightly that his head starts to go light, and he sees patterns swirling in the darkness. “I still needed you! I always have done!” 

“I’m here now Callum.” She says, and Callum knows that she means that. He can hear the honesty in her voice. “I’m here, and I’m never leaving you again.”

[ahgaseda]

enough | five

even if everyone else leaves me, you’re enough for me, you’re my only one, stand by me forever, only you, just you...

summary : to survive as a single woman in the big city, you resort to letting rich men pay for your company, but never anticipated that your first client would be the boy you once loved, Jinyoung.

warnings : strong profanity, explicit dialogue, references to prostitution, mentions of gang activity, graphic sexual content, potentially triggering elements involving mental health, panic attacks, etc.

miniseries chapters : one / two / three / four / five / six / seven

Something stirred you awake in the middle of the night; an unsettled feeling in the well of your stomach. Perhaps your body was so accustomed to the feeling of his skin against yours that it noticed immediately when the warmth of him was gone.

Opening your eyes, you turned, surprised to see Jinyoung no longer peacefully asleep beside you, but sitting on the edge of the bed and gazing toward the windows.

The lights had lost their luster. Even Seoul was deep in slumber at this ungodly hour.

“Jinyoung,” you called confusedly, dazed with sleep.

“Go back to bed,” he replied a little too sharply.

For a moment, you paused, studying the expanse of his shoulders. Something weighed them down. Something he couldn’t carry without being crushed from the inside.

Obstinate as ever, you crawled forward, slipping behind him and wrapping your arms and legs around his body. Jinyoung sighed, lips tugging into a reluctant smile, and stroked a hand across your arm to lace his fingers through yours.

Resting your cheek on his shoulder, you asked, “What’s wrong, baby?”

He exhaled loudly through his nose. The lines of his brow were furrowed in pensive thought; of losing everything. Of losing you.

“I have a lot on my mind,” Jinyoung finally answered, foolish to think that answer would suffice.

You rolled your eyes and teased, “What else is new?”

Jinyoung wrinkled his nose and squeezed your hand even tighter. Jiwon’s threat was very real and manifested in his mind with every bloody, gruesome possibility. Jinyoung knew he had to put him away for good. No hesitation and no mercy.

Seeing he had fallen back into his reveries, you traced your fingers over his abs through the thin white shirt. Bringing your lips to his neck, you left a few tender kisses before flicking out your tongue to test his mood.

Jinyoung felt his pulse pick up speed. It went without saying he would love to bury himself between your legs and forget about everything except you and him in his bed. But that was never what he was made of. He couldn’t indulge in your body when you were at risk and only he could make it right.

And, of course, he was still mad as hell at you.

Jinyoung turned to meet your eyes and for a fleeting moment, you naively believed you would get your way. He kissed the corner of your mouth chastely before gathering you in his arms and returning you to your place in bed.

Draping an arm over your waist and laying his head on your chest, Jinyoung whispered, “Sleep, baby. I’m right here.”

Satisfied that he wouldn’t leave you, you settled comfortably into the mattress. His weight on top of you was more than welcome. “Will you ever tell me what goes on in that head of yours?” you asked, delicately tracing your fingertips over his forehead and pushing away his fluffy hair.

Jinyoung took your hand in his and brought it to his mouth, placing featherlight kisses over each of your fingers. “You,” he confessed in a heavy sigh, as if it pained him to admit it. “Always you.”

Your eyes burned with emotion and you didn’t hesitate to tell him, “I love you, Jinyoung.”

“I know,” he replied without missing a beat.

You chuckled. It was worth a try to make him say it back after all this time, but he was nothing if not stubborn and hard-headed.

The morning came late and your growling stomach woke you with a vengeance. When you stirred, you were amazed to find Jinyoung already awake, but still clinging snugly to your body.

“I’m hungry,” you whined tiredly, rubbing at your eyes with a fist.

Jinyoung rose quickly and proceeded to sift you out from beneath the warmth of the blankets. “It’s about time. Get up, lazy,” he jeered, half-serious. “I’m starving. We’re going to eat.”

You gawked at his outburst. “Have you been waiting this whole time for me to wake up?”

“Yes,” he said with a frown.

You wanted to laugh. He was such a big baby. “I have to study,” you told him, slipping off the bed and gathering your clothes.

Jinyoung put his hands on his hips and chided, “You studied your brains out yesterday. It’s Saturday. Today, you rest.”

You stopped, blinking incredulously at how bossy he sounded. “Well, damn,” you said with a chuckle. “Guess I have no choice, huh?”

“None. Zero,” Jinyoung replied, heading out the door to give you privacy. “Get dressed.”

“Fine,” you shot back, attempting to sound annoyed simply to toy with him.

That was when you remembered you didn’t have any clothes to wear. You had been brought to his penthouse in your pajamas and you highly doubted Jinyoung would appreciate taking you to breakfast in your thigh-high socks.

There was a swift tapping of knuckles on the door followed by it opening before you could finish calling, “Yes?”

Jinyoung appeared again, a bag in each hand. “Right on time,” he announced, disgruntled. “I had some clothes ordered for you. The boys just dropped them off.”

“Jinyoung, you can’t be serious,” you exclaimed, racing over to see the spoils. “Please tell me you didn’t spend a fortune on these.”

Jinyoung snorted and narrowed his eyes at you. He was tempted to pull out a wad of cash and set it on fire before you just to prove a point. “I spend my money however I want. Now, for the love of food, hurry up and put something on. Or I’ll just eat you.”

Memories began to flood of the night before and you licked your lips. “I would not be opposed to that.”

Jinyoung lifted his brows. After a pause, he retorted, “Nope. I got nothing. All I’m thinking about is beef.”

“Me, too,” you shot back, glancing down at his pants.

He promptly folded his arms and made that damned adorable face. Pursed lips, puffed cheeks. “Wow, I ate her out one time and she can’t think straight. Woman, am I gonna be able to take you out in public ever again?”

You laughed aloud. “Yes, yes, I’m coming. I just miss the hell out of teasing you.”

“Yeah, well, I miss having a full belly,” he groaned. “You have five minutes or I’m leaving your horny ass here.”

“Cheese and rice,” you grumbled, pulling the shirt over your head and stripping down to your underwear.

Jinyoung was about to make a quip about how badly he craved rice, but was distracted at the sight of your breasts. Your body had filled out in his absence over the last four years. Though you were always perfect to him, he didn’t mind your bigger boobs and fuller hips.

You met his eyes, quirking a brow. Suddenly aware of the sexual tension that had filled the room in the span of a second, part of you hoped he would pounce on you then and there.

Jinyoung watched, feigning disinterest, and handed you one of the blouses.

By the time you arrived at the restaurant, bodyguards and driver in tow, Jinyoung was in full hungry brat mode. The owner recognized him at once and bowed deeply, ushering the two of you to the secluded table in the back corner. Before you slipped into your seat, you watched Jackson, Jaebeom and Yugyeom take a high table just beyond and strategically within eyesight at all times.

Not much passed in terms of conversation at first. Jinyoung was wholly focused on food. When the beef began to sizzle on the grill, you reached for the tongs and earned a swift slap to your hand.

“What was that for?” you exclaimed irritably.

Jinyoung proceeded to flip the beef and complained, “You have no grill skills. You burn everything.”

“I do not,” you said with a pout.

The servers continued to bring food at Jinyoung’s behest. By the time they had finished, there was no free space on the table.

The sight made your eyes burn with the threat of tears, even worse when Jinyoung took a large mouthful and made a satisfied sound in his chest.

There were days he gave you his food and went hungry himself. Jinyoung always suffered if it meant you were taken care of. The two of you went years without ever knowing how it felt to be full.

Jinyoung glanced at you, perturbed at how you had yet to start eating. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

You shook your head and lied, “Nothing.”

He watched you pick up the chopsticks and your hesitation was painfully obvious. He could see the moisture in your eyes. Jinyoung knew in that moment what had made you emotional and chose kindly not to press you on it, but he did say, “Let it go, baby.”

“What?” you questioned.

“Whatever you’re about to cry over.”

You blinked rapidly, fighting the tears even harder, and nodded your head. Then, you reached for the food.

The waitress came over not long after and asked if there was anything else either of you needed.

Jinyoung looked to you for an answer. “Want more food?”

Given how much you had already eaten, you patted your stomach and quipped, “No, I’m watching my figure.”

The joke was lost on your lover. Jinyoung scoffed in annoyance and told her, “Two lunch boxes please.”

You chuckled.

Jinyoung took another bite and asked, “You still love dosirak, right?”

Your mouth watered. “Obviously.”

“Then, eat a damn lunch box.”

The server came back with two tins and Jinyoung had barely taken it from her hand when he began shaking it. You mirrored him, recalling all the times as kids you would compete to see who could shake theirs the longest.

After the two of you ate to your heart’s content, you were in disbelief - but mostly thrilled - when Jinyoung returned with you to the penthouse and revealed he would be working from home for the day. Your lips spread into a grin and he quickly rebuffed your affections.

“It’s not that I want to spend time with you,” he calmly argued. “I just don’t feel like dealing with people today.”

You winked. “Of course.”

Jinyoung plopped down on the couch and opened the newspaper, reading through every section as he always did. You sat on the neighboring couch opposite of him and your gaze fell to his muscly thighs spread out, hugged by the tightly fitting jeans. His lap did look rather inviting.

You went into the kitchen and fixed a cup of tea. Offering to make him one as well, Jinyoung politely declined and you were content to lean against the counter and study him.

Very, very often you had imagined and daydreamed of domestic life with Jinyoung as a wild, restless teenager. And now, here it was. Although, Jinyoung had frequently joked that he would never be able to tame you, no matter how much you loved him.

That wasn’t true. The truth was, he had broken you a long time ago.

“I can feel you staring,” Jinyoung called from behind the newspaper.

You murmured coyly, “I’m enjoying the view,” and put the cup of tea to your lips.

Jinyoung flushed a subtle shade of crimson, pulling his paper close to hide it.

You approached him and asked, “Mind if I sit down?”

“Go right ahead,” Jinyoung replied, patting the empty space next to him.

You smiled and turned around, sidling backwards and landing squarely on his lap.

Jinyoung let out a tiny grunt the moment you sat on his hips and scowled back at you when you glanced over your shoulder to peer innocently in his direction.

“What are you playing at?” he barked, folding his newspaper.

“You started this game,” you sang innocently. “Don’t hate me for finishing it.”

Jinyoung cocked a brow and refused to surrender. “Is that so?”

“Mm-hm.”

“Well then,” was all Jinyoung said before grasping you none too gently and smashing his lips on yours.

You were completely at his mercy with your precarious position on his lap. Jinyoung quickly barred an arm across your stomach and cradled your face with the other. You reached back to tangle your fingers in his hair, deepening the kiss. Jinyoung slipped you his tongue and you moaned softly into his mouth when a hand landed on your breast.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” Jinyoung whispered darkly in your ear, kissing hotly over your racing pulse. “Don’t leave out a single detail.”

There were times you wondered if he could read your mind. Glancing down to see his hands kneading your clothed breasts, you let your head fall back when he pressed slow kisses to your neck. “When you used to…,” you trailed, voice trembling. “Take me from behind.”

Jinyoung chuckled softly, grazing his teeth over your skin. “Yeah,” he growled even lower. “You always did look good on your hands and knees.”

You swallowed, heart thundering wildly. He must have heard it. You watched his hands drift down your body, slipping beneath your shirt before returning to palm your breasts.

“You were always so deep,” you panted with want and need. “I almost couldn’t take it.”

Jinyoung tucked his hands inside your bra, finally able to tease your nipples without anything in the way. “And you were always so tight,” he retorted. “No matter how hard I fucked you.”

You turned your head, nuzzling your nose against his. “Please, just take me,” you whimpered, trying to mold your lips to his.

Jinyoung rose, prying you from his lap and leaving you on the couch. “The only thing I’m taking is a cold shower,” he said, stomping toward the bedroom.

“You little shit,” you called after him, bracing your hands on the top of the sofa. “I can’t stand your stubborn ass!”

“You love this ass,” he bantered back at you. “And it’s a fantastic ass. Have some respect.”

You made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a scoff, and sulked when he locked the bedroom door behind him.

The rest of the weekend was less profanity filled. Jinyoung gave you a taste of your dreams of domestic life with him. Quiet dinners. Endless food. The scent of fresh coffee filling the room in the morning. Peaceful evenings under a shared blanket in the reading nook.

Jinyoung gushed excitedly when he told you what was happening in the novel he devoured. You soaked up every word, overjoyed to see him happy. Occasionally he would remember he was mad at you and would be sparing with his affection. Then, he would seem to forget again and couldn’t keep his hands off of you.

It was a constant game of push and pull. One that you came to enjoy.

But on Sunday night he grew restless, tossing and turning. You had no sooner finally fallen asleep when Jinyoung woke you screaming, thrashing in the bed.

Every image of his night terrors from years before hit you all at once and your body responded as if muscle memory took control. “Jinyoung, stop! It’s okay,” you tried to console him, grasping his face in your hands and staring into his wide, terrified eyes. “I’m here. It’s me!”

Jinyoung was stronger than you by leaps and bounds. He pried you off of him with effortless ease and staggered toward the window, pounding his fist against it in frustration. He ran his hands through his hair, desperately clawing for his composure. The thing he guarded so vehemently. “You’re not supposed to see me like this…,” he choked out.

That damn pride, you thought with a frown as fire filled your cheeks. “And who is, huh?” you snapped angrily.

He clocked a weathered glance at you and warned, “Don’t.”

“Jinyoung…”

Jinyoung was thinking of his nightmares. Of you ripped violently away from him. They blended into the bloody, malicious things he had seen. The things he had done to take his place at the top. He heard Jiwon’s threat to break you in before his eyes.

He guarded his heart; guarded it with an iron fucking fist. He protected himself with ice and steel. He had to in order to live with what he had done. You were always how he justified it. He did it all for you, but he had sacrificed so much of himself.

“I can’t let you in again,” Jinyoung whispered shakily. “You’ll be gone and I won’t survive.”

Your knees buckled. Your heart collapsed somewhere in your chest. “I’m so sorry,” you whimpered, face tensing with oncoming tears.

Jinyoung lowered his head, hiding behind his disheveled hair. The first time you left him it was your choice. If you left him again, it wouldn’t be by choice. It would be because someone stole you away.

“You make me crazy,” Jinyoung murmured, reaching for you and gathering you to his chest. His hands raked into your hair, keeping you looking up into his eyes. “I wanted to hate you. I tried. You ruined me.”

Tears freely streamed down your cheeks. Jinyoung and you, you and Jinyoung - two wounded souls just trying to heal. “I’ll never leave you again,” you vowed with all you had. “I swear on my life. I’ll die before I do that to you.”

“I know,” Jinyoung sighed.

That was exactly what he feared.

You looked at him with confusion, waiting for an explanation. You were given none and Jinyoung refused to return to bed. He sat by the window, waiting for the city to wake and watching over you.

The next morning, you opened your eyes to find Jinyoung was gone. And you weren’t surprised.

Yugyeom took you back to the condo and you stared at your phone all the while. No calls. No texts. Your blood began to boil.

You typed a message to send him, You can’t build those walls when I’m around, huh?

But you didn’t have the heart to send it. Not when the sound of his screams echoed in your ears. Deleting the words, you tossed your phone on the nightstand and buried yourself in studying. Exams were in full swing this week. It was time to get to work.

For three days you heard nothing from Jinyoung. For three days he avoided you. You felt wounded and your heart was sore.

When Yugyeom and Jackson arrived to take you to your exam, you asked nonchalantly, “Jackson, you’ll be seeing Jinyoung later, right?”

“Yes, mam.”

You hopped into the car and put on your seatbelt. “Do me a favor and please mention in passing that I stand by what I said. I’ll never leave him. But a woman needs an outlet to let off steam and reward her hard work, and if he does not want to provide that outlet, the club will.”

“With pleasure,” Jackson said with a chuckle.

Yugyeom grinned mischievously.

It was early afternoon when your exam had finished and you excitedly jumped into the tinted Range Rover.

“Well?” asked Yugyeom eagerly, hand draped on the wheel.

Jackson turned around from his spot in the passenger seat. “How was it?”

You flashed them a smile and announced, “I slayed that shit.”

The two boys applauded.

“The evil physics has been defeated,” Yugyeom sang, putting the car in drive and cruising out of the parking lot.

A moment later, Jackson crooned, “Mr. Park would like to extend an invitation for you to join him at his office immediately if you are still in need of… an outlet.”

That had your attention. “Oh?”

Jackson nodded, amused. “He says he will be happy to take you out to dinner as soon as he is finished working, but you may join him in his office until then.”

You rolled your eyes and huffed, “Just what a girl wants after spending two whole hours in an exam. To sit in an office and wait on her stubborn ass man.”

Yugyeom looked at you in the rearview mirror and said, “We don’t have to go.”

The gears turned in your head. Jackson smirked, noticing your expression full of mischief.

“Take me there, please,” you said, crossing your legs. “I think it’s time I got my revenge.”

The office was in an executive building on an inconspicuous corner. Jinyoung had to make sure each of his business endeavors looked legitimate by all means. You stepped into the ornate lobby and let the elevator take you to the third floor.

When you stepped into the office, Jinyoung looked up, but didn’t move a muscle. “Since when do you go to the club?” he asked gruffly.

No greeting. He was still embarrassed over the other night, you mused to yourself. “Since freshman year,” you countered, moving to one of the two chairs before his desk and making yourself comfortable.

Jinyoung put his pen down and leaned back in his own chair, folding his arms tautly. “You can’t handle your liquor,” he said bluntly.

You nodded in agreement. “I know. Still the lightweight. But free booze. Free music. Free dancing.”

Jinyoung’s eyes flickered. There were images filling his mind of you dancing with men, men that didn’t hesitate to let their hands roam your body. “Are you trying to make me jealous?” he asked.

You grinned. “Absolutely. How am I doing?”

Jinyoung scowled and didn’t dare gratify you with an answer. Instead he shifted subjects. “How was your exam?”

“I fucking nailed it.”

Jinyoung chuckled.

“I did, Jinyoung,” you insisted, beaming with pride. “I crushed it.”

He bobbed his head. “I believe you. I’m very proud.”

You gave him a soft smile.

Finally Jinyoung rose from his desk and moved to the nearby table, pulling a bottle that had been on ice and pouring two glasses of champagne. “How should we celebrate?” He looked to you expectantly whilst handing you your glass. “I can get us a private booth at any of the restaurants or we can…”

“I know what I want,” you interjected, taking a sip of your drink.

Jinyoung shrugged. “Well, you have my credit card. Go buy it.”

You shook your head. “I don’t wanna buy anything.”

Jinyoung tilted his head and exhaled, running out of patience. “Woman, tell me what you want.”

“I want you.”

Jinyoung let a lull of silence pass before he hummed, “Mm.”

“Did you have a rough day?” you asked coyly, setting down your drink and running your fingers up his tie.

“Maybe,” he said, voice laden with exhaustion. “But you know I don’t talk about my work.”

You brushed past him intentionally and came to stand behind his desk, pushing a few things back to give yourself room. Then, you lifted yourself on top of it, sitting on the edge and spreading your legs, motioning him forward.

Jinyoung downed his drink and discarded the glass, then sneered, “I’m not going to fuck you. Not yet anyway.”

“I know that,” you replied sharply. “Just come here and turn around.”

His brow furrowed, bemused as to what you were after, but Jinyoung relented and stepped between your knees, pecking a kiss on your irresistible lips. You smiled against his mouth and grabbed his arms, steering him to put his back to you.

Once he had, you settled your hands on his shoulders and began to knead, massaging his tense muscles and feeling him relax under your ministrations. A soft hum of a moan left his lips and you smirked in satisfaction, putting more pressure on his back until he sighed in relief.

Lulling Jinyoung into the headspace you wanted, your hands fell deliberately down his burly arms, still squeezing his muscles to release their tension. Slowly, you skimmed your palms to his stomach, grabbing his shirt and yanking upward, freeing the material from where it had been tucked into his pants.

“What are you doing?” asked Jinyoung lowly, voice sinking a few octaves.

Nipping the shell of his ear, you whispered, “Let me play.”

Jinyoung shivered as you began to kiss his neck and you were quick to loop your legs over his thick thighs, dissuading him from trying to escape your touches. With his shirt loose, you brushed the hem aside and fiddled at his belt.

Sliding your hand into his pants, you resisted the urge to giggle at his hardening length, but you did tease, “I’ve barely touched you and look how hard you’re getting, baby.”

“I started getting hard the second you spread your legs on top of my desk,” he confessed in a raspy snarl, staring down at the erotic sight of your hand down his jeans and your legs locked around his thighs.

You chuckled devilishly in his ear and pulled at his half-hard cock, stroking the length of him in your tightly gripped fist. Bringing a hand to your mouth quickly, you licked the span of your palm before reaching down to pump his shaft.

Jinyoung tensed against you when you focused on the head of his member, even more so when you sucked intently on his neck. Your breath was hot, making the sweat gathered at his hairline cool on his skin.

“Jinyoung,” you whispered pliantly, once he was rock hard in your grasp. “Please let me do this for you.”

His hips stuttered in tandem with your movements and so did his words, “Do what?”

You worked down his length with both hands, gathering a drop of precum with your finger and teasing his slit. You thought he would come undone and unravel in your hands at any minute with the way his breaths were tumbling out.

“Make you feel good,” you purred.

Jinyoung shivered at the thought. His attention was still fixated downward, where your hands had vanished inside his pants. You were jerking his cock faster and faster, like you were trying to get him off embarrassingly quick just so you could tease him for it later.

Which wasn’t far from the truth.

Suddenly, you gripped the base of his cock nice and hard, and stopped all motions. “Well…,” you growled with impatience. “Do I have your permission?”

Jinyoung exhaled in defeat, his hips moving of their own accord in a seeking thrust, desperate for friction. “Do what you want with me,” he mumbled, kicking himself for losing resolve so quickly. “I won’t stop you. Not today.”

You fought a giddy smile at finally getting your way and withdrew your hands from down his pants, pushing him forward to allow you room to slide from the desk. The moment your feet touched the floor, you twirled around him, switching positions, and pushed him up against the desk.

Jinyoung didn’t struggle, but he did grab the edge of the desk and hold tightly with both hands, breath bated.

Pressing your hands to his chest, you leaned forward and captured his lips in a kiss, teased his tongue as he sighed into your mouth. Jinyoung was enraptured to say the least, clutching your waist gingerly and pulling you close enough that your breasts pushed against him.

As you kissed him, you rubbed your fingers over his clothed nipples, his cock twitching eagerly in his pants. Then, you took a tie from your wrist and affixed it to your hair, tightening the ponytail into position and pressing one last kiss on his lips.

You shoved Jinyoung against the desk once more, to remind him who was in charge until further notice and your eyes lit up at the blush across his cheeks and the fire in his gaze.

Jinyoung couldn’t believe his eyes when you dropped to your knees before him, grabbing his pants and boxers and tugging them down to his ankles in one sweep. His hard cock waited before your eyes, weeping and curving toward his abs.

Your fingers danced up his shaft, eyes on the vein bulging underneath. You liked teasing him, loved making him beg for release even more, but today you were in the mood to make short work of him. You were still bitter at being ignored for three days. You got a hold of him in your hand and licked a wet stripe from base to tip before meeting his gaze again.

Jinyoung clawed at his tie, loosening it frantically so he could breathe. The last time someone blew him would have been four years ago. You used to suck him off rather often, enjoying the way you could reduce him to a moaning mess. Jinyoung hoped this time would be no different.

“Jinyoung,” you whispered, peering up at him with the tip of his cock against your lips.

“Yeah?” he panted.

“Don’t hold back,” you said, holding his cock firmly as you took him in your mouth.

Inch by inch you sucked him down, lilting back before engulfing him again to wet him with your saliva. Jinyoung watched you stroke back and forth, each time going deeper until his member hit the back of your throat. You choked at first, out of practice after so long, but the tightening of your throat made his hips arch and his abs flex.

Jinyoung whimpered your name and that was all you needed to keep going.

You let his girth leave your mouth with a lewd pop, proceeding to pump him in your fist while you peered up at him with tear-filled eyes.

Jinyoung had let his head fall back the moment you choked on him and was content to stay that way. He couldn’t look at you. One glance of you with your lips around the base of his cock would make him bust in a heartbeat. And god knows you would never let him live that down.

You slipped him between your lips again, sucking on the head and teasing with your tongue before grasping his hips. He had thrust ever so slightly, probably unintentionally, seeking the heat of your mouth. Your eyes burned with more tears when his length hit the back of your throat again, but you swallowed him eagerly. Jinyoung inhaled a hard breath and fisted his hand in your hair.

Your warm, wet mouth was too much. It took all of Jinyoung’s willpower not to fill your mouth with cum. He couldn’t stop thinking about the vice-like grip of your pussy, how it was undoubtedly throbbing with need. He pictured you in his mind, moaning his name when he finally penetrated you.

“Yeah…,” Jinyoung growled, sucking another breath through his teeth when you hollowed out your cheeks. “Like that. Good girl…”

You moaned at the lust in his voice, sending vibrations through his cock and smiling when a little groan left his lips. You rewarded the sound, swallowing around the tip of him again and bobbing your head a little faster on his length.

Jinyoung was in bliss - absolute, mind-numbing rapture. Head tilted back, eyes pressed closed. You smiled with his cock in your mouth, hands rooted to his tensing thighs, and stared up at him in worship, heady at the sight of his chest rising and falling with labored panting. His full lips were parted as pleasured sounds left him with every thrust in your waiting mouth.

“Fu…ck,” he moaned, now gripping your hair with both hands.

You looped your arms around his thighs and set your nails to his plump ass. He had taken over control and all you could do was hang on for the ride. Jinyoung pumped his cock into your mouth, rutting into the back of your throat. Tears streamed down your cheeks and the sound of you gagging only made him twitch more.

“Good girl,” Jinyoung rasped, losing his mind to the feel of you. “Almost there.”

Sucking him off was nothing short of gratifying. Your pussy throbbed between your legs and you could feel wet arousal soaking through your panties. His cock would slide into you smoother than silk if he wasn’t so damn stubborn. At the thought, you moaned around his length and he whimpered.

Jinyoung couldn’t fight back his moans any longer and you knew he was at his end. His hips stuttered, his thrusts turning erratic, and he finally came with a shaky cry that sounded vaguely like your name.

You lapped him up, gulping down his release when you tasted it on the back of your tongue and swallowing every last drop. Seeing the ecstasy on his face made you desperate for climax and you pressed your thighs together.

Jinyoung still gripped your hair tightly, knuckles almost white, and slowly pulled his spent cock from your mouth. Without warning, he grabbed your arms and hoisted you up none too gently. “Fuck,” was all he said.

You opened your mouth and wagged your tongue at him in a taunt, proving you had milked him dry.

Jinyoung shook his head at you before reaching down to pull up his pants, fastening them quickly to get you in his arms again. “God, you’re good,” he growled, grasping you by the throat.

You were gifted a searing kiss and purred in response. At this point, you were sure he would give you anything you asked for.

“So fucking good,” he hummed, pressing a wet open-mouthed kiss or two to your jaw.

“Jinyoung,” you beckoned sweetly, eyes rolling when his lips drifted to your neck.

“Hm?” he questioned, pulling back to look at you.

“I’m wet,” you confessed, raking your tongue across your teeth at the way his pupils flickered.

Jinyoung cocked his head, brushing his nose against yours. Without another word, his hand trailed down your body and pushed between your thighs, getting a taste of your desire for him and the arousal coating your folds.

“Fuck, baby,” he groaned. “You like choking on my dick that much?”

“Mm, yes. I do,” you retorted, nipping at his lips.

Jinyoung fisted his hand in your ponytail, his usual roughness coming through. “What should I do with you?”

“Fuck me,” you replied, rather blunt. “Think how easy you would slide right in.”

Jinyoung smiled, biting his lip. He was so enamored with you. You wanted exactly what you couldn’t have and it consumed you. “It does seem like a waste of good pussy, doesn’t it?” he teased, seeming to mull over the thought.

You nodded.

Jinyoung released you then and launched himself onto the desk, sitting where you had been before.

You stood rooted in place, watching him curiously.

Jinyoung motioned you forward and patted his leg. “Ride my thigh.”

You frowned and whined, “I want dick.”

He almost laughed. “I’m soft.”

“I can get you hard in no time,” you crooned, bracing your hands on his knees and stroking upwards. “We both know that.”

Jinyoung harshened his tone, no room for further argument. “My thigh or your own fingers. The choice is yours.”

You huffed petulantly and hiked your skirt up your waist, trudging over and mounting the desk. And him. Putting a leg on either side of his thigh, you sank down until your panty-covered folds met the rough fabric of his pants.

The first roll of your hips was tentative. Yet another thing you were more than a little rusty at. Jinyoung sensed your inhibition and looped an arm around your waist, clutching you flush against him.

Jinyoung tucked his face to the crook of your neck and whispered, “Get yourself off.”

Oh, you wanted to. Release was at the front of your mind, holding the reins to your sanity. The image of Jinyoung reaching climax still lingered and you swore there was no better sound in the world than his moaning of your name. You wanted to hear it again and again.

“Please,” you spoke almost inaudibly, feeling small and helpless in his lap. “I need it.”

Jinyoung guided your hips, steering you to rub back and forth on his thigh. “Mm, that’s it,” he encouraged, lapping at the sweat on your neck. “Ride me like you mean it.”

You gathered more confidence at his words, grinding yourself down on him a little harder until your clit ached at the contact. You held his shoulders for balance, biting your lip at the feeling of his broad hands roaming to cup your ass.

Jinyoung kneaded your thighs and hips before settling on your ass again, humming his appreciation for your beautiful body and how it belonged to him, only him. He whispered little nothings in your ear, dirty things that riled you up and made you pick up the pace.

You moaned softly, gushing at the stimulation.

“Once upon a time,” Jinyoung teased, nuzzling his face between your breasts. “You used to ride me like it was what you were made for.”

And you would love to do it again if he would just let you sink down on his cock and be done with it. “Jinyoung,” you began to warn sternly.

Smack!

His hand collided with your ass and you squeaked, hips falling out of rhythm before settling back into motion.

“Don’t stop,” Jinyoung ordered, intently patting the print he had just made on your flesh. “And don’t slow down.”

“I…,” you trailed, lost in too many sensations at once.

His fingers tightened in your hair and yanked your head to the side. You felt his tongue racing over your pulse before his soft lips pressed a wet kiss on your jaw.

“Tell me,” Jinyoung snarled, reeling his hand back and landing his palm on your ass again.

Smack!

You gasped and rode him even faster.

“What do you want from me?” he pressed calmly before you could answer.

“Harder. Harder,” you pleaded, clinging to his arms for dear life.

Jinyoung chuckled with twisted pleasure at your torment, spanking your ass three solid times back to back. Your hips sped up at the sting, chasing after your high like it was the key to your sanity.

“Come already, baby,” Jinyoung urged, his dialect thicker than ever. “You’re soaking my goddamn pants.”

That rebellious streak flared and you griped, “I would rather soak your goddamn cock.”

Jinyoung bit down on the base of your neck, his member twitching at that. “Such a little angel out there,” he taunted, cupping your face. “No one would believe what a slut you are for me.”

You howled his name for mercy.

Jinyoung grasped your hips and brought you down to meet his thigh, rough and merciless. The moment you told him you were close, he commanded, “Come for me.”

You let your head fall back and your lips parted in a silent scream. This was the release you craved, needed above all else. To finally feel satiated after the suffocating tension and longing. Your nails set viciously to his shoulders and your hips slowed at the intensity of orgasm. Your engorged clit was suddenly too sensitive for the abrasive contact. Your body instinctively bowed away, but Jinyoung landed a palm on your ass with a vengeance.

“Don’t you dare tap out,” he scolded, keeping his hand poised at the ready to land yet another hit.

You kept riding him, overstimulating yourself to the point your lower half shuddered involuntarily. Satisfied at the endless, tiny cries falling from your mouth, Jinyoung grabbed your ass and rubbed the mark he had made, soothing the sting.

“You’re done,” he murmured, pulling you into his arms.

You went slack, satisfied he could support your weight. You let your head rest on his shoulder, burying your face in his neck, and held him tightly. Your body continued to tremble with orgasm, settling through the last of the aftershocks. Breathing in utter relief, all you wanted in that moment was for Jinyoung to never let go of you.

He turned his head, trying to get a glimpse of your face, and asked, “Feel better?”

Finally, you roused yourself, lifting your eyes and looking everywhere but at him. “I made a mess,” you murmured bashfully.

Jinyoung studied you, noting how you avoided his gaze, and asked, “How many exams do you have left?”

You smiled at what he was implying. “Three.”

“I’m gonna need more pants.”

You laughed at that.

Jinyoung let his hands slip reluctantly from your hips as you clambered off of him and he watched you with nothing short of amusement while you pulled your skirt back down and adjusted your clothes.

“So, yeah,” you stammered, swallowing the lump in your throat. “I’m gonna head home and study.”

Jinyoung cocked his head. “Why are you being awkward?”

You were finally forced to look at him and lied, “I’m not.”

“You are,” he asserted. Jinyoung could smell bullshit a mile away, especially yours.

You shifted your weight.

“Was it… something I said?” he asked worriedly, jumping down from the desk and approaching you. “Did I hurt you?”

“No, it’s…,” you trailed, looking away. Your hunger had been soothed, but not your heartache.

Jinyoung cradled your face tenderly, eyes filled with concern. “Talk to me,” he whispered.

You pried his hands from you and snapped, “I can’t talk to you. You decide when I’m allowed to see you.”

Jinyoung sighed in realization. He knew the cold shoulder was too effective on you and regretted being as severe as he had been. But he couldn’t let you know the threat that you were under. Or the misery it inflicted on him.

“I’m sorry,” was all he said.

You dragged your feet toward him, falling back into his arms and tucking your head beneath his chin. Jinyoung was all too relieved to wrap his arms around you, kissing your brow with affection. For a moment, you were content to hug him. Then your mouth got in the way.

“I just want to be with you all the time. I’m crazy about you,” you rambled, brushing your lips over his own. “You make me absolutely out of my fucking mind crazy.”

Jinyoung studied you. Then, he cut the tension by smarting, “Stalker.”

You recoiled and snorted. “Asshat.”

Jinyoung flashed his teeth in a grin. “Dinner?"

“Ugh,” you grumbled. “Shower first.”

Jinyoung nodded, snickering. “Okay, okay. Go home and shower. Yugyeom will bring you to the restaurant. Deal?”

“Perfect,” you replied, turning on your heels and making for the door.

“Hey,” Jinyoung called out.

You turned.

“Where’s my damn kiss?”

Without hesitation, you ran back into his arms, colliding into his chest and nearly knocking the wind out of him. Jinyoung held you close and kissed you, tangling his fingers in your hair. The two of you giggled and smiled and kissed like a pair of hormone crazed teenagers with no clue what they were doing.

When you finally pulled away, Jinyoung watched you go and you swore you had never seen a more beautiful mess of a boy in your life.

No sooner had you stepped out of the shower did your phone ring. Clad in a towel, you answered eagerly, “Hey, Hoseok. It’s been a while. How are you?”

His voice was unnerving. “Seokjin wants to see you right away.”

“Oh,” was all you could manage, heart picking up speed. “Did he say why?”

“No, but he wants you in here right now. It sounds serious.”

This was new territory for you. Seokjin never summoned you with such a manner. You reckoned you were in trouble or at least, someone was in trouble. “I see. Okay. I’m coming. I will be there as soon as I can.”

Yugyeom put the key in the ignition and revved the engine. One look at your face and his smile fell. “What’s wrong?”

You closed the door behind you and fastened your seatbelt, answering, “We need to make a stop first.”

The sun set as Yugyeom drove to your employer’s building. You hadn’t been back since the contract was established between you and Jinyoung. Obviously, you were no longer available to serve as eye candy for wealthy men. It had been strange being able to focus on school without making routine trips to see Seokjin for jobs.

You turned the corner and entered the office, seeing Seokjin standing behind his desk with his hands on his hips. “Hey, boss. I…,” you began.

Seokjin laid eyes on you and snapped, “Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”

You watched him stomp toward you and questioned carefully, “What do you mean?”

“That your client is your ex-boyfriend,” he roared.

Your eyes were wide. “Oh. That.”

Seokjin folded his arms, narrowing his eyes at you in disappointment, but he softened his tone. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

It went without saying that you had dealt with many bad, dangerous men in your life. Seokjin was not one of them. Nothing about him inspired fear in you. The relationship you had with him was built on trust and solidarity. Even when he was angry, you weren’t afraid to be honest with him.

You swallowed. “Do you want the honest answer?”

He scoffed. “Is that even a question?”

“I didn’t want you to cancel the deal,” you admitted quietly.

Seokjin was in disbelief and decided to repeat it back to you, almost to make sure you understood what you were saying. “You wanted me to approve the contract for you to be a sexual servant to your ex?”

Well, when he put it like that it did sound awful. You shrugged. “I don’t have a good explanation for you, boss.”

There was no way you could explain your relationship with Jinyoung. It would take days, weeks even. The two of you had been through so much together, so much damage and evil and every fucking thing that could go wrong did go wrong. You both were forged in the same fires.

“There are rules here,” said Seokjin, pragmatic. “Rules in place specifically for drama like this.”

You nodded. “I understand that.”

“Clearly you don’t,” he interjected, like a parent scolding a child. “You have no idea how out of hand things get in situations like these.”

You remembered Jinyoung’s words on that day - I bought you so no one else would. Jinyoung would sell his soul before he let you sell your body.

“It’s not like that,” you tried to reason with him. “You don’t know our history.”

Seokjin shook his head and returned to his desk. “It doesn’t matter. I’m pulling the contract.”

You understood his fear. His entire business was founded on confidentiality and secrecy. Any form of drama or scandal could expose a lot of powerful people and put Seokjin back on the street.

You opened your mouth to argue, but an irritated voice behind you came first, “Is this how you conduct business around here?”

Both you and Seokjin looked to see Jinyoung entering the office with Jackson a step behind him. With their added presence, Hoseok joined only a second later.

“Mr. Park,” Seokjin began, emerging once again from behind his desk. “You should have been more forthcoming as to the nature of your relationship with…”

Jinyoung countered, “Maybe so, but that’s water under the bridge now. Did I just hear you proceeding to nullify my contract without consulting me?”

Seokjin set his jaw. “Putting your ex-girlfriend into an indentured contract to soothe your own…”

Jinyoung took a single step toward your boss and seethed. “Believe me, Mr. Kim. You don’t want to go there with me,” he hissed. “End the contract, but she is still to be paid the full balance for this month. Take your share as well. It doesn’t concern me.”

Hoseok called your name tenderly, drawing your attention, and said, “Don’t go with him. I’ve seen this happen before. It doesn’t end well like you think it does.”

“Hoseok,” you started, moved by his concern.

Jinyoung brushed past you, putting himself squarely between you and Hoseok, and asserted his territory. “And who the hell are you?”

Hoseok was not intimidated in the least. “I’m the one that’s been protecting her for the past four years. Who the hell are you?”

“Hoseok,” Seokjin beckoned, sensing the situation was going to devolve.

“I see how you’re looking at her,” Jinyoung snarled under his breath.

Hoseok didn’t deny it.

You grabbed Jinyoung’s arm, attempting to steer him away. “Jinyoung, don’t make a scene.”

“Considering your boss called you in here without me, solely to rip you a new asshole and then take the rest of your money, I’m past making a scene. I’m gonna make a fucking spectacle,” Jinyoung snapped, shifting his weight as you grasped his sleeve.

Seokjin drew your attention, speaking from a good place. “I’ve been where you are and I know how it ends. Think about what you’re doing.”

Your brow furrowed, but you knew he was referring to getting into bed with a dangerous lover. You had been ignorant to the power Jinyoung now held and how deeply he had rooted himself in the underworld of your city.

He was your Jinyoung and you could turn a blind eye to what he did because you were head over heels in love with him. Naively so, you had to admit. And for that reason, you believed Seokjin when he said he knew what it was like.

“Seokjin,” you spoke resolutely. “Thank you for everything. I owe you more than I will ever be able to repay in my lifetime, but please accept my resignation.”

Jinyoung stopped, angling to you in surprise.

You met Jinyoung’s penchant gaze and added, “Effective immediately.”

Hoseok called your name.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized with all sincerity. “I never meant for this to happen. I don’t want to cause you any harm after all that you have done for me.”

Seokjin accepted your apology and bowed in response.

Hoseok enveloped you in his arms when you hugged him goodbye and with his eyes intently on Jinyoung, whispered in your ear, “Be careful. Someone ratted you out.”

You blinked in surprise and the moment Hoseok let you go, you turned to face Jinyoung. There was no shock on his face, only aggression and anger. “Outside,” was all you said, tone low.

Silence, cold and unforgiving, between the two of you down the elevator, through the lobby, and finally to the top deck of the parking garage. Once in the fresh air, free from the potentially eavesdropping ears, you asked, “Did you tell him about us?”

“No.”

“Did you have someone tell him about us?”

“No.”

You scoffed out a laugh, mirthless. “You’re lying.”

Jinyoung snorted. “There is literally nothing I can say to appease you when you’re pissed.”

“Don’t manipulate me,” you snapped with a roll of your eyes. “Tell me the truth.”

Jinyoung smiled, though he was far from amused. “See that’s the thing with you. When you have an idea in your head you just want someone to confirm it, you don’t care what the truth is.”

“Oh, that’s rich coming from you. All you’ve ever done is pull my strings. The minute I do something outside of what you want, I get punished,” you yelled, bristling with annoyance.

Jinyoung shook his head. He had indulged you thus far, but was officially at the end of his rope. “I don’t have to stand here and take this from you. You of all people. You left me because I did what you didn’t want.”

This was the weak spot of the relationship; the one unmistakable fact that always tore the two of you apart.

You would always assume he was lying, because that’s what he did. He would always assume you would leave him, because that’s what you had done.

Tears filled your eyes and the next words left your mouth like venom, “You don’t love me. You just want to own me.”

Jinyoung approached slowly, something dark manifesting in his eyes. Not until he was within arms’ reach of you did he whisper, “I love you with my heart and soul and every fucking breath in my body.”

Your eyes widened.

Then, he condescended, “But right now I’m not in the mood to deal with your self-righteous ass. Yugyeom will take you to dinner. Use my damn card.” And with that, he turned and proceeded to leave.

Rooted in place, you shouted after him, “Jinyoung!”

He kept walking away, no hesitation in his step.

Spiteful, you continued to shout, “It’s my turn to ignore you for three days!”

Still stomping off, Jinyoung raised a hand and waved, retorting, “Be my guest!”

You practically snarled, clenching your hands into fists as he hopped into his car, Jaebeom behind the wheel, and drove away.

Pivoting on your heels, you faced Jackson and Yugyeom and they turned their heads in opposite directions, pretending they hadn’t seen your petty lovers’ quarrel. Saying nothing, you trudged toward them and jumped into the backseat.

The moment you were concealed behind tinted windows, your lips spread into a wide smile that reached your eyes.

Jinyoung said he loved you.

Pulling out your phone, you texted him shamelessly, You said you love me.

A return text chimed not a minute later. Who is this?

You laughed aloud, propping your head in your hand against the window. The love of your life, you replied.

I see three days went by fast, was his retort.

You sighed. Don’t keep me away too long this time.

The next text took an extra minute to deliver, Come to the penthouse after dinner.

You smirked wryly and typed, I think I’ll sleep in my own bed tonight, Mr. Park. Goodnight.

Jinyoung looked down at the screen and pursed his lips. Sensing he had lost this round, he texted back, Goodnight, baby.

Jaebeom pulled a vibrating phone from his pocket and handed it to Jinyoung, saying, “Mark confirmed it.”

Jinyoung looked at the image and frowned. It was from a surveillance camera, captured in black and white. Jiwon and Seokjin; a seemingly harmless photo of two men talking on the street.

“He’s getting closer,” Jaebeom commented under his breath, speeding through a yellow light.

Jinyoung’s phone chimed with another text. The number was unknown and Jinyoung’s eyes widened in disbelief at the image attached.

It was you, standing on the deck of the parking garage, watching Jinyoung walk away only moments ago. The sunset was a clash of colors in the background and you had never looked more radiant.

She’s so beautiful, read the text beneath. Shall I take her away or shall I make her hate you, Jinyoung-ie?

Jinyoung stared at the text, reading it over and over. “Too fucking close,” he finally murmured.

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a/n : this story was previously Lacuna on my old blog, minheoney. I’m really excited to finally finish it! This fic was my baby for so long and I’m ridiculously happy to give it a new home :)

Hey there, beautiful! If you enjoyed this, please leave a like or reblog or follow me! Or maybe buy me a coffee so I can keep writing? Or check out my masterlist here for more stories! Thanks for reading :) - Katya

This work is fictional and for entertainment purposes only, but is licensed and protected under a creative commons attribution-noncommercial-noderivatives 4.0 international license. Any instances of plagiarism will be dealt with accordingly. Do not re-post or translate without my permission.

{ copyright 2018-2020 © ahgaseda // all rights reserved }

[elsanna-shenanigans]

April Contest Submission #15: Schrödinger’s break

Words: ca. 3,700 Setting: modern AU Lemon: no CW: wrong Witcher facts (sorry Yen!)

“What do you mean it doesn’t count?!” Anna could tell that her face was tomato-red, since she could feel the heat in her puffed-up cheeks.

“Well, they clearly were on a break, were they not?!” Elsa’s voice was positively dripping with restrained annoyance.

That was the difference between them - while Anna got heated up and was all fire, Elsa turned cold and icy. Anna hated that version of her sister. Ice queen, indeed. Yet with sick satisfaction, she noted that Elsa’s usually pale complexion also sported a hefty colour in her cheeks. She felt a flare in her throat and belly and, like an out-of-body experience, she couldn’t stop herself and this argument, and so pressed on:

“So you think cheating is okay then at the first sight of trouble - is that it?!” 

“Well, how exactly is it cheating if they are not even together, Anna! Of course it’s scummy to-” 

“So you think cheating is okay on a technicality? Wow, that’s very assuring, thanks a lot.” Anna huffed and crossed her arms indignantly. What does one even do with arms in situations like this? 

“Why are you making this so personal - this is so stupid - I mean, how old is this show exactly now? 20 years?!” Elsa almost whispered to hopefully calm the situation down. 

She was painfully aware of the people in the little cafe, giving them harsh side-looks and judging them quietly. Anna was immune to stuff like this, but Elsa felt their stares almost physically. And this was their usual cafe and go-to place on late-work mornings, which made it even worse.

Her fingers found the rounded edge of their table as she rubbed her thumb against it, until she finally found an imperfection that she could push her thumb in even harder.

The blonde side-glanced around them, not making any real eye contact yet trying to mentally ward off the surrounding people. Most of them quickly looked away as Elsa furiously glanced in their direction. She felt a headache coming on.

“So I’m stupid now for caring what my girlfriend thinks about cheating?”

“What, NO- how is that - I-I didn’t say anything like that!” Elsa’s fingers gripped the smooth wood of the table even harder; the pressure on her knuckles made her whole hand ache.

“Anna, let’s not do this right now” she tried to lower her voice even more, but could immediately tell by Anna’s face that it was a mistake. A big one.

“Yeah- okay, I get it. Let’s NOT do this!” The younger sister shuffled her phone back into her backpack, and yanked her haphazardly placed jacket hard from the chair at their table.

“Are you seriously storming out because of-“

“Yeah! Yeah, I am!” Anna roughly pushed her arms through the sleeves of her rain-jacket. Her braids were rabidly bobbing with every jerky action of the furious redhead. “Do you think I’m too stupid,” she angrily signed quotation marks at this “to not know how embarrassed you are right now?!” 

Elsa couldn’t help but glance around them, to the other patrons of the cafe, as Anna practically yelled their grievances into the air.

“See!! You’re doing it right now! If I’m too embarrassing for you as it is, I’m going! So - have fun!” 

Anna quickly slung her backpack on her shoulder, stomping out as quickly as she could and leaving a speechless Elsa at their table.

She didn’t dare to look around again, since it would have been pointless anyway. She could practically feel all of their stares like daggers.

She kept her eyes down on her now lukewarm chocolate and angrily blinked away the tears that threatened to fall. She stopped gripping the table to nurse her aching head with her fingers.

She always hated Ross.

***

“What crawled into your morning coffee and gave you the biggest resting bitch face I’ve ever seen? And that’s already accounting even your usual standards!” 

Elsa pinched the bridge of her nose. She loved Meg, she really did. In fact, she was her favourite coworker in all of Arendelle Corp, but today she felt like she was not capable of the banter and dry wit this required.

“Meg, just leave her alone already! Can’t you see she’s struggling as it is?!” Raps piped up. Leave it to her PA to fend off the inquisitive brunette. But knowing her, it will do no good anyway.

“Hey blondie. I meant snowflake over there. Leave the talk to the grown-ups.” Meg countered with her usual dismissiveness. 

“Oh stop it, you two! You’re giving me a bigger headache as is.” Elsa slapped her papers on her desk. When she looked up, she could practically see the concern in her friend’s eyes - a rare sign indeed, to see Meg so open about her emotions.

“I think someone needs a sugar fix - blondie, get your boss some hot chocolate… and make it extra sweet.” Meg sat on the edge of Elsa’s desk, looking over to the short-haired PA to gauge her reaction.

Rapunzel looked over her boss and saw the plea in her eyes, pleading for peace and not the usual shenanigans those two got up to. She sighed.

“Alright, I’m on my way.” She slowly packed her things up, made sure to turn down the volume of her little hot-pink Bluetooth speaker and took her purse with her.

When she quietly closed the door, Meg didn’t waste another second.

“Okay, so what’s wrong? You look like you’re… ” She briefly touched Elsa’s shoulder but didn’t leave it there. She knew her too well for that.

Elsa dropped her head into her hands and breathed in deeply.

“I had a huge fight with Anna this morning… and the worst part is I don’t even know for what and why? We started to talk about what we used to do as children-” she swallowed harshly because she knew she had to be careful.

The official story was that they were childhood friends. It was easy to change the general logistics of their meeting. But it was hard, in some specific cases, to veil how deep their connection was.  

“-and we talked about Friends.” she concluded.

“Wait - the TV show?”

“Yeah, Friends.” Elsa clarified “So all of a sudden we get to the topic of Ross and Rachel’s break-up and it goes all downhill from there about cheating and about how I didn’t think he did-“

“You don’t?” Meg asked her surprised.

“No, I don’t. They were on a BREAK.” Elsa felt her cold anger gripping her again. It was so pointless and unnecessary - stupid Ross! - why did this keep happening?!

Meg’s laughter snapped her out of her thoughts.

“I’m sorry snowflake, but this has to be the cutest yet most idiotic lover’s quarrel I have ever heard in my whole life, so far.” Meg ran her fingers through her hair. “I know it’s rude to laugh… but Elsa. I mean.” She stopped there but let out another snort. 

“I know, I .. it’s positively atrocious.” She breathed out her frustration. “I really don’t know what this means or what even caused this. Nothing has been out of the ordinary lately. At least I think so…?” She frantically started to question herself. Was she just not seeing it? Was she so inconsiderate and not noticed her sister’s pain or grievances of late? What if it wasn’t nothing and it turned out-

“And is she by any chance on her period or getting there?”

“Meg, that’s sexist!” Elsa said indignantly.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t make it untrue.” Meg shrugged “I always get bitchy around that time and boy, do I get all the feels when it happens.”

“You’re always bitchy.” Elsa deadpanned.

“I know. But you love me for it.” Meg nudged the blonde’s shoulder as another small snort escaped Elsa.

“So in any case” Meg soldiered on, “what’s the grand romantic gesture you planned to show your undying love now that it happened?” 

“A… grand gesture?” Elsa didn’t like the sound of this. Not at all.

“Oh Elsa, Elsa… why are you so clueless about women when you are one yourself - of course grand gesture! Something that’s bigger than your fight, so as to leave that the only big impression of the day!” She side-glanced at Elsa, a mischievous grin on her lips.  

“Get her something big or better: get some poor street performers and make them sing some positively sappy love-song or something while you stand in a sea of roses telling her how dumb you have been.”

“Well, that sounds totally feasible.” Elsa shook her head into her hand, cradling her chin as she stared into space. She never was someone to openly show her feelings… or her life to others. And the idea was simply ridiculous.

She startled as her PA quietly opened her door with one hand, the other cradling the promised hot chocolate and a paper bag with something positively lovely-smelling in it. 

“I thought, what’s better than hot chocolate? A fresh chocolate croissant to it! So… double the fun?” Rapunzel smiled, all teeth, and it was hard to not feel her heart softening at that. She had it good here. 

“Alright snowflake, enjoy your spoils and tell me your battle plan once you have it!”

Meg fished out one of her reports on Elsa’s desk - thank god it was already finished - and sauntered off without looking back. 

Rapunzel placed her beverage and pastry bag on the very same spot Meg just sat on, and went back to her desk to turn up the volume on her little radio. 

“Thanks Raps. You’re an angel.” Elsa smiled as she opened up the lid of her steaming hot chocolate, savouring the smell of the sweet concoction. 

As Rapunzel laughed at that, she tugged her short hair back behind her ears “You tell Mr. Weselton that, when you have the chance.” 

The radio tuned into an upbeat song they played at least 3 times in the span of a day. If Elsa recalled correctly, her PA told her they’re a Korean girl band and all the rage now. Pink something… hm. 

“Say… how does that little speaker of yours work and where did you get it?”

***

Anna tugged on her new and tight yoga pants, trying to get the seam out of her crotch. To no avail. Typical.

“… at the same time there is a lightness; a sensation of floating. Feel both of these things at once. You feel the waves lapping at your feet. They beckon you to step closer. One step at a time, you feel the purifying power of the ocean. Its body envelopes you. Notice if your tongue is touching the roof of your mouth. Let your tongue soften down…” 

Anna stood in the middle of the living room, the furniture haphazardly pushed against the walls. 

The TV was still on and the PlayStation was still running, but at least it was muted. The Witcher was still standing in the maze, waiting for any input to further this party along. Amiss in between all those pompous Novigrad nobles and probably feeling kind of lost? …

Wasn’t he supposed to look for his missus? Jennifer… or something? It was already some time ago she played it last and had a hard time keeping it all straight.

But Anna tried to not think about this. About how this reminded her of Elsa. Elsa, who loves reading and who devoured the whole series in a matter of days. She just got the game to be able to talk to her about it - and it was really good, actually! She started with the third and last one, but she could piece things together with Elsa’s little anecdotes and the overall pointers in the story, but no - here she was. NOT thinking about it. No sirree!

“… it carries away your sorrows. It affirms the power within you. Life is good. Life is precious. Say it-”

“Say it.” Anna murmured and tried to concentrate on the voice again, pushing any thought of Jen or Elsa out of her mind.

“- out loud.”

“Out loud.” Anna’s voice rose with the last word.

“Life is peace.”

“Oh.” She opened her eyes. Now she felt silly.

With a deep breath, Anna closed them again and envisioned the waves lapping at her feet. Again and again. She pictured seagulls in the distance, imagined hearing their distinctive cry. They got closer. Their cries got shriller as the waves of the water, imaginatively yet unruly, lapped against her feet, quicker and quicker, with harsh -

“Fudge this!” Anna tugged on her braids as she groaned out loud. 

Wasn’t meditation supposed to make her feel better? To forget and relax? What a mess she was still feeling. Still an undercurrent of anger and hurt, but mostly regret now. She could see how she took this way too far, how it tugged on her insecurities - mostly unfounded, she could admit! - of her constant abandonment issues, even if Elsa showed no indication of leaving her. Even if she could tell that, sometimes their .. unusual situation was still not sitting right with the older sibling at points. But mostly, it was good! Really.  

Now all Elsa had to do was come back from work so they could talk it out, make up, and kiss it better…  So that was the plan. But it was already later than usual for her sister to return home. If only she could calm herself down enough to rationally and calmly talk through it so it wouldn’t even be a bigger mess than it was right now. What was the worst that could happen, right? No matter what, they still were family! At least that, even if -  Anna painfully tugged on her braids again.

She took a deep breath and tried to banish all feverish thoughts from her head. She listened to her breathing as it flowed in and out. She listened to the little specks of sounds coming from the window. She could almost make out a pattern as the little clanks came almost every three breaths.

- Wait, what?!

Anna hesitantly went over to the window; all the while the suspicious sounds didn’t cease to stop. Just as she reached it, she saw a tiny pebble hit the windowpane as it immediately dropped down again. Pushing the flimsy curtain aside, she looked down wearily. What kind of crazy - serial killer or stalker really- would do this?!

But what she found was her older sister flicking those pebbles up their window. Her cheeks were unusually flushed and Anna could see her breath escaping red lips in harsh puffs, curling in the cold air. Her golden hair was wind-whipped and some loose strands escaped and fluttered in the breeze. She’s never seen Elsa so…disheveled and radiant at the same time. She looked like a spirit stepped out of the night. Like a beautiful and elegant… wraith? Wait, was that even a thing?

As she fiddled with the old window lock, she watched as Elsa dropped all her stones on the ground as she frantically rummaged through her purse with one hand; the other one was clutching her phone tightly.

“Elsa?” Anna called out just as Elsa was straightening herself again, with one arm outstretched above her head with a small hot pink… device held high above her.

“Elsa - what.. ?” 

“Anna! I-I’ve been so stupid,” Elsa cried out “it doesn’t matter that we don’t see eye to eye on everything or that we’re different - but whatever happens, I’ve always-” just then a guitar riff cut the blonde off as a familiar male voice started to sing

So no one told you life was gonna be this way

-Clap clap clap clap-

Your jobs a joke, you’re broke

Your love life’s DOA -

Anna couldn’t hold back the manic laughter that escaped her as she frantically tried to take everything in. Was this really happening?!

Her sister making a fool out of herself. In front of their window. In front of their neighbours. In front of everyone. And most importantly, in front of her! That was so not Elsa and yet here she was, doing this to make her laugh and to prove to her how much she means to her. She could feel tears prickling in her eyes even as she sported the biggest grin that she tried to hide behind her hands.

your week, your month

Or even your year but

“I’ll BE THERE FOR YOOOUU” Elsa belted as she stood there steadfast yet with the pink Bluetooth speaker slightly wobbling in her hand as she pushed through the strain in her left arm.

Elsa felt terrified about the whole spectacle, but her worries took a backseat as she saw Anna clearly laughing, her eyes shining with happiness. So - huge success! And worth everything ten times over.

(When the rain starts to pour)

“I’LL BE THERE FOR YOUU” Anna joined her this time even when her voice cracked a bit with emotion.

(Like I’ve been there before)

They both laughed out loud at themselves and couldn’t make it through the last chorus. Both their eyes were trained on just one another. Elsa’s heart felt full and like bursting in any second. 

(‘Cause you’re there for me too)

The song came to its conclusion, yet Elsa was still standing there with her speaker held high. This time, Anna could tell the nervousness was replaced by elation and happiness, even through the awkward moment of silence that was now threatening to envelope them.

“Come up here already you sappy fool!”

Not a moment longer after the invitation, Elsa stuffed the speaker back into her purse and dashed to the front gate, avoiding to look into any windows as she did so.

She felt her thighs burn as she sprinted up the two flights of stairs in record speed to join her love.

She could hear the keys turning just on the last steps of the stairs, as the warm glow of their apartment illuminated the dark staircase. She looked up just as her sister stepped into the door frame. Anna was encompassed in the soft glow of the light that looked almost like a halo around the contours of her body. After this rough day, it truly seemed like a vision to Elsa.

“Anna, I’m so sorry-“ 

“Oh, Elsa. But stop. Just come to me already - please!” the redhead sniffed as she wiped her nose with her wrist.

Elsa practically flew into her arms. Her arms snaked around the scrawny shoulders as she pushed her head into the crook of her neck and breathed in deeply. She felt Anna trembling in her embrace, and she was glad to hear the snort of laughter through the tears as she did so.

“I love you so much, Anna. Let’s never do this again.” she breathed into her sister’s collarbone as she pushed her cheek further into the warm skin of Anna’s shoulders.

“It had a pretty remarkable end, if you ask me - so… I won’t make any promises” Anna left a wet kiss on her forehead as she rubbed the blonde’s back soothingly up and down. “But let’s go inside. I’m sure the neighbours are entertained enough for now.”

Elsa gently pushed Anna and herself inside as she closed the door behind her and double-locked the locks. 

Once safe inside, she let herself rest against the locked door and let her fingers push against the sturdy wood as she did so. 

Anna was taking her girlfriend in with a soft smile. She knew how much this took out of Elsa and what a big step this was for her to do. And she loved her even more for it. Anna watched her like a hawk as she pushed herself up to take off her boots and her coat and meticulously hung everything up in its space at their coat rack.

With patience never being her strong suit, Anna immediately bounced on her lover once she put everything away and pushed her back into the groaning door. Her lips sought out her sister’s as she pressed her harshly against it. Elsa frantically deepened the kiss, her cold hands holding Anna’s cheeks closely as her fingers stroked her temples. Anna felt breathless at the heat that threatened to engulf her, yet the cold and gentle fingers ground her to reality. She had to break the kiss for air but stayed close to Elsa’s lips, not being able to bear any distance between them right now.

“I love you so much, Elsa I…”

The smile the blonde gave her was a radiant one.

Elsa’s hand found its way around Anna’s hips, brushing the curve of them and enjoying the soft material. She kissed the freckles right beside Anna’s nose, one of her favourite spots in general. It always made Anna melt.

“You’re so sweet, my love.” 

Her hands started to warm up, Anna could tell, as Elsa gently tugged on hers to lead her further into their apartment.

“What happened here?” Elsa’s eyebrows rose high as she saw the mess that was left in their living room. Anna felt Elsa’s hand gently squeeze hers.

“Well .. I thought I’d try to center myself with some meditation and some yoga or something.”

“Oh, now those pants make sense… though I wouldn’t mind any occasion, really.” Anna felt her cheeks flush as she saw her sister’s eyes roam over her. “They suit you, you know.” 

Why was it that Elsa could make her feel just like a lovelorn teenager just in a matter of seconds, even when they were already together for years now.

“Oh, what’s this? You’re playing the Witcher?” the blonde studied the scene in front of her.

Gerald sitting patiently in a garden - in his finest clothes? Elsa tried to place the scene in her head, considering that Anna started almost at the very end - so very much like her, mused Elsa.

“Yeah, it makes me think of you so…” Anna rubbed her neck. “I’m just at this party with Triss and we just kissed and now-“

Elsa whipped her head around instantly with a sudden and dangerous glint in her eyes.

“You what?!”

[bigskydreaming]

I’m just gonna say it, cuz people certainly have said it enough about Dick.

Tim was an asshole post BFTC. Yeah, he was. Sorry not sorry. I know losing Robin hurt him and yeah Dick probably could have handled it better, but Tim was the one who made the decision to avoid Dick in the aftermath and refuse to even talk to him when Dick kept trying to reach out and check on him. Like, hello, Tim, guess what gets in the way of a big brother ‘who wronged you’ trying to make things better? You not letting him talk to you even.

(An entirely different scenario from when Bruce fired Dick, because the problem between that and Dick eventually reconciling with Bruce was that Bruce didn’t ever reach out and take the initiative to try and reconnect with Dick, when Bruce was the one who made it clear that Dick wasn’t needed there anymore and did nothing to say or suggest he was even wanted, when Dick lingered for weeks hoping he would, and it was never Dick’s responsibility to try and make the first move to repair their bond after that. This isn’t comparable to Dick and Tim because Dick didn’t do the same thing as Bruce, he did the opposite of what Bruce did because he learned from what Bruce did....thus he kept reiterating how much he needed Tim and wanted him to stay and Tim was the one who refused all the gestures actually being made).

And enough about all the people Tim lost, because guess what? Dick lost his second father too. And he’d not long before Tim lost Jack and Kon and Steph, lost his entire city. After his circus, chock full of all his remaining first family from his childhood, the extended family of friends and honorary aunts and uncles who’d helped raised him, was burned down around him with massive casualties. After his apartment building, which was chock full of people he canonically had made friends with and formed a freaking community of their own with, had been blown up with only one survivor, just to hurt him. After he’d left the Titans because he’d lost multiple teammates in the Titans Hunt and watched Joey killed in front of him, been raped by Mirage and blamed by his teammates for it, lost his several years long relationship with Kory in part because of it and various other manipulations that had nothing to do with either of them but rather his being brainwashed and then Raven’s messing with their emotions and on and on and on....

And after he’d lost Donna, and after he’d been raped again by Tarantula and after he’d lost his relationship with Barbara over Tarantula’s manipulations, to such an extent that when he went to Barbara the night his circus was burned down, she let him stay for the night and then told him he had to go in the morning, after he’d lost Jason and killed the Joker over it and feared he’d lost Bruce’s trust because of it to the extent that he was downright suicidal in the wake of Blockbuster’s death, after Stephanie Brown a girl he barely even knew had become the second kid to die in his family’s colors without him ever having a say in them wearing them in the first place, and then getting Jason back only to have him try and kill Dick’s new little brother Tim, and then try and kill him while they were fighting for the cowl, right after Dick’s newest little brother Damian tried to kill Tim and now Dick was stuck trying to raise him himself, and felt the burden of having to teach Damian to not do stuff like that, because he couldn’t just pretend that Damian wasn’t Bruce’s son, wasn’t his brother, and so he felt the pressure of having to try and find some way to turn Damian into someone who could coexist with Tim so that Dick wasn’t forced to yet again choose between brothers like when Jason was going after Tim, because yeah, Tim was the target and there’s no substitution for that but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still royally suck to be the big brother who feels obligations and ties to all three of these boys and considers them all family because of how they’re tied to him whether he likes it or not so he’s constantly struggling with trying to find some way for them all to coexist because he can’t lose any more family.....

And all of this happens in the span of like, three or four years comic book time, and then their second dad dies and Dick is suddenly stuck living his dead father’s life, running the company he never wanted, being the Batman when all he ever wanted to be was his own hero of his own invention, protecting a city that has taken from him time and time again, raising his dead father’s son as though he’s practically his own, and he just had to battle his brother Jason for the cowl he didn’t even want with it ending with Jason falling from a train and potentially to his death again (since Dick didn’t know yet if he had even survived that for sure or not) when its not like Dick has issues with family members falling to their deaths in front of him....

And Dick gives his newest little brother Damian the mantle Robin that means family in his eyes, because its the only way he knows of to make Damian believe that Dick actually wants him here, wants to form a bond, and isn’t just doing this out of obligation to Bruce, as Damian did believe at that point and why he was keen on leaving....and he tries to explain to Tim that this was an act of desperation, of necessity, of he didn’t know what else to do, and it has nothing to do with Tim not being good enough, or not wanting Tim as family, or wanting Tim to leave, its the exact opposite, he sits there and tells Tim he feels Tim is too good to treat as a junior partner, that he’s his equal and he could never be Batman to his Robin again because Robin takes the lead from Batman and Dick no longer sees Tim as someone who needs to follow, and that’s why Dick needs him to stay, needs him to help him in Gotham because he’s fucking drowning here.....

And Tim just goes, whatever, fuck you, you took away Robin which was the only thing that matters to me (no mention of the fact that he only had it in the first place because of Dick) and just outright refuses to respond to any of Dick’s frequent attempts to check on him, to see how he’s doing, to acknowledge that Dick is just fucking worried about him because he’s stretched impossibly thin and all he knows is he can’t bear to lose anyone else, it’ll break him, he’s lost all he possibly can right now.....

And Tim just.....doesn’t fucking care. Peaces off to pursue his (still lacking evidence) Bruce isn’t dead theory because Dick did something he didn’t like and won’t believe him without evidence about the thing he always says every time someone who’s close to him dies and has led to him going down some very dark roads in the past but why should past behavior worry Dick at all......

And sorry not sorry, but if you can reframe every one of Dick’s issues with Bruce about Robin as him being an immature spoiled brat, but that doesn’t sound like sulking to you, I’m calling foul. 

*Shrugs*

Tim was kinda a brat back then. I know he had a lot going on and was dealing with a lot, but Dick was too, and all he wanted was to know that his little brother was freaking alive and Tim was like no, that’s too big an ask right now, you made me mad so stew on that bro. BYE.

Yeah Tim was a teenager, but Dick wasn’t even eighteen when he left home, and if he has to always be a big boy or else he’s a spoiled kid throwing a temper tantrum for not getting his way, I don’t see why Tim (who preboot, was definitely at least close to eighteen at the time) can’t be expected to be a big boy too and at least say “Dick I’m still mad at you and hurt, but I at least recognize that you are going through shit too right now and so I can at least be bothered to check in and let you know I’m alive and okay still and you haven’t lost another family member while they’re hating you and blaming you and thus making it likely your fault too.”

[zsocca55]

I’m currently reading the third book of the Caraval series, and lemme tell you, I’m SCREAMING. Legend you are an asshole and nothing will change that, you can be the prettiest boy in the universe but you won’t fool me. Too bad Tella is falling for all the tricks.... Hopefully this book won’t end in a mess. There is enough mess in the middle though. Jacks is good boi, I love him, he didn’t do anything to make me hate him so far. Lets hope he won’t. I will update this description once I’m through the book and tell what I think. Until then, enjoy this illustration of Legend! Character (c) Stephanie Garber Art by Zsocca

Edit:

I’ve finally read the third book, so I’m gonna write a long summary of my thoughts about the series. Because it gave me a lot of feels. And tons of heartbreaks. (spoilers ahead)

Okay, so the ending was kinda silly. The first half of Finale was making some sense, then somehow something happened and the other half became a mess I’m still trying to get over.

Throughout the book, I felt like Scarlett was pushed into the back, and Count Nicolas appeared only to have Scarlett do something in the first half of the book. Closing off the count-plotline was a good idea but not planned out well. He appeared only for one scene only to die soon afterwards. That’s just wasting of a character.

Same could be said about Paloma/Paradise. She was brought back only to get killed and we didn’t even get to know her. Shame, because I was intrigued by her backstory and personality.

Also the Fates were there and the Fallen Star came in. He could have come sooner? Idk, he could have abducted Scarlett in the beginning and we could have had moments of him and her daughter getting to know each other and the reader would have also got a picture of his motives. Scarlett could have used her wits to get on his good graces. And don’t even get me started on why the heck did she become empress to begin with.

Does Valenda have a government? Surely the empresses/emperors have a council and such who at least get a saying in the ruling of the empire. How can such a mess happen in an empire’s capital while the population does nothing but goes from one ball/festival to another in a span of a few months?

Julian was also made to feel like a background-character. But to give him credit, he is the only accountable male love-interest in this series. He lies a lot, yes, but he is trying to be a good person and he is acting like a decent human! That’s an achievment in this series!

 Lets discuss Tella, the problematic child. She was making me bang my head against the wall a few times, but I could understand her problems because she just turned 17 and is basically a needy teenager with an attitude. But then I just got fed up with the way she was running from one boy to the other. Excusing everything Legend did while also complaining about the awful things he is doing to her, only to then run to Jacks for help (and he does help every time she needs him) and then tells him to ‘get lost I don’t like you’. That made me feel like she is just as manipulative as the two men fighting for her heart. Or whatever she has, because they don’t wanna love her.

Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I didn’t like Dante in the first book, and I didn’t get to like him in the second. He felt like a different person in every single book. Even after it was revealed that he is Legend, I couldn’t unite the two in my head and I still can’t. The author also mentioned that originally they were two separate people and well, it shows. In the third book he was mostly referred to as Legend, and I can understand why: because Legend is Legend and Dante is not really him.

Also, he was kinda useless in the second half of Finale. Tella collected all the infos needed from Jacks, Legend just tagged along to find the stuff. Then he was killed and soon put in a cage. I didn’t understand. He just took the mighty witch’s powers, he was almost as strong as a bunch of Fates, but he still had no power to even stand against Jacks when he popped up.

He is showed as this immortal being who clings to his powers while pushing his own brother away, and then he suddenly changes heart at the very end of Finale. It made no sense. Where did that change come from? What happened to him in that cage that he suddenly felt like becoming mortal for Tella is now the thing he wants? It was abrupt and unexplained.

The powerful, magical being he was in Caraval is nowehere to be seen. He did his tricks in this book too, but he couldn’t really use them to his advantage. Which is strange, considering how smart he was portrayed before - he invented Caraval, he moves the plot behind the scenes - but now he is just out of wits. The mighty Legend from the previous two books couldn’t make it to Finale, and I think it’s due to the fact that he was revealed to be Dante at the end of Book 2 and this threw his character off the road.

Lets talk about Jacks as well. It’s no secret that I like him, but I’ll try to be objective. First of all, he was hinted in Book 1 at the very last page, then hinted at Book 2 in the very first page with a prophecy that shaped Tella’s very idea of love and marriage and set the destiny of her love-life (at least in her mind). Then there is the true love and the beating heart thing from Book 2.

 Finale expands on this by affirming that an immortal can’t love, so we assume Jacks is bad news and is entirely selfish with his obsession of her. But his actions don’t line up with the villain he is told to be. We just hear that he does bad stuff, but we never actually see him do anything bad. Although he is able to manipulate feelings (even with his faint power), he is not making any great efforts to use that to his advantage.  He allows Tella to have free will. He lets her use him and his skills when she needs him. He also does his own tricks and twists on their deals, but he never outright lies to her. He is selfish, but also surprisingly considerate. He also constantly lets her go and is not actively trying to get rid of the “rival”. It’s strange. Jacks goes back and forth with her, until the second half of Finale turns him into the villain he was supposed to be from the beginning. He finally strides in, announces what he wants and takes it. But due to the previous history we had with him, this sudden change in his attitude is just as abrupt as Legend’s change of heart at the end.

I guess this was a last minute decision: make Jacks a real villain and give room for Legend to be endgame and get redemption. Which I don’t think ended up well.

And what about the Fates? Dunno, we don’t know. There were a few thrown in there, but aside from Gavriel and Anissa, we didn’t get to know them that much. And the ending casually mentions they fled to North. Fled? Come on, they are magical beings, they could rule the empire if they banded together. Nobody could stop them. Yes, they can die now, but they have powers! Heck, Jacks could make everybody like the Fates if he wanted to, manipulating the emotions of the government and even Valenda’s people.

The thing is, the author created these overpowered beings, and couldn’t find a decent way to defeat them, because by human standards, they are undefeatable. Legend was an important, powerful barrier against them - or not, because he was weak in Finale for some reason.

Also Jacks could have been a key ally from the enemy’s side, if Tella wasn’t so stubborn about pushing him away. He basically worked against his own kind, admitting his and the others’ weaknesses.

The characters are flawed, which is good, they make me proud once and then disappoint me like an impulsive child, so I have no complaint about their characteristics. Keeping them consistent was a problem though.

The series itself was imaginative, full of creativity, it had a magical vibe and an intriguing plot. Too bad this plot couldn’t find it’s clear end.

There were many good ideas thrown in this book, but a bunch of cool items collected in a room don’t make it a harmonic room.

These are my final thoughts: Caraval is fantastic start, Legendary is a good sequel, and Finale is a problematic ending.

Does this ruin the experience? I don’t think so. I enjoyed the series, it kept me at the edge of my seat. Caraval and these characters will surely remain with me, so I thank the author for this wild ride!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Sorry if this is a weird question. It’s been awhile, but I think it was your blog that once posted about a list of adult books for YA readers? Did you ever finish that? I’ve pretty much read exclusively YA for years, but as an adult, I’d like to start exploring some books that aren’t about teenagers. Thanks! (And if it wasn’t you, then just ignore this.)

not a weird question, pretty normal question. I don’t know if such a book list could ever be finished, exactly, because more books just keep on coming and there are definitely some I will never know about that are no doubt fantastic, but I have posted two rec lists, which I’ll copy paste here for your viewing pleasure:

The Beautiful Ones (Silvia Moreno-Garcia) - absolutely BUCKWILD romance with a dash of telekinesis; nonstop high society drama and misunderstanding from start to finish, happy ending guaranteed. STRONGLY recommend if you, like me, are a basic bitch who enjoys a bit of Pride and Prejudice.

Binti (Nnedi Okorafor) - a math prodigy runs away from Earth to become the first of her people to attend a prestigious university in space, but shit gets real when a crew of hostile jellyfish aliens attack her ship.

Chilling Effect (Valerie Valdes) - a spaceship captain and her crew take on a series of convoluted missions in order to rescue the captain’s sister, who’s been frozen and held for ransom.

The City of Brass (S.A. Chakraborty) - an 18th century conwoman and a mysterious djinn team up to go looking for a legendary hidden city.

The City We Became (N.K. Jemisin) - a scrappy bunch of Chosen Ones have to band together to defend New York City (which is very much alive) from a huge ass monster.

The Empress of Forever (Max Gladstone) - a lady supervillain gets blasted into space and meets an even bigger, planet-destroying evil space empress. literally WHAT is not to like?

The Empress of Salt and Fortune (Nghi Vo) - high fantasy royal drama about a woman making her way to power in the wake of a political marriage that left without friends or allies.

Escaping Exodus (Nicky Drayden) - a space-faring clan are creating their latest spaceship from the insides of a giant monster when absolutely everything goes to shit (as things are wont to do in science fiction stories).

Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars (Kai Cheng Thom) - a trans girl runs away to the big city, where she uses her martial arts skills to team up with other trans woman and form a vigilante gang to defend their own when police look the other way. a fascinating blend of poetry and prose and magical realism.

Finna (Nino Cipri) - two exes working at an IKEA have to team up to save a customer who disappeared through one of those interdimensional portals that all IKEAs have laying around. you know how it is.

Gideon the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir) - come on, you’ve heard about this one. it’s the one with the lesbian space necromancers? yeah, that’s the one. you got it.

In the Vanishers’ Palace (Aliette de Bodard) - a Beauty and the Beast retelling based in science fiction and Vietnamese fantasy, featuring a young woman falling in love with a “beast” who’s actually a motherly dragon after becoming a tutor to the dragon’s two powerful children.

Jade City (Fonda Lee) - urban fantasy gang wars, pitting one magically enhanced family against rivals and a new drug that lets anyone mimic their abilities.

The Library of the Unwritten (A.J. Hackwith) - hell’s librarian gets sent on a quest to find a runaway soul.

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet (Becky Chambers) - aka one of my favorite books ever, essentially slice of life science fiction following an interspecies crew of deep space truckers making the longest and most complicated delivery of their lives. very warm and fuzzy.

Mort (Terry Pratchett) - one of many MANY Discworld books, but a very good one to start with, following the adventures of a boy named Mort after he’s taken on as Death’s apprentice. you know, like the Grim Reaper? that Death.

River of Teeth (Sarah Gailey) - historical AU in which the United States imported and domesticated hippos in the Mississippi River; follows a crew of hippo-riding crooks and hooligans as they plan one heck of a caper.

Space Opera (Catherynne Valente) - a washed up rock star and his old bandmate get roped into performing in an intergalactic singing competition that will determine the fate of the entire planet Earth. full of aliens, attempted assassination, art, and emotional turmoil.

This Is How You Lose the Time War (Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone) - time-travelling assassins from rival factions fall in love in a poetic and breathless story that spans centuries and reality.

Under the Pendulum Sun (Jeannette Ng) - fairyland is real, and Victorian England is sending missionaries. a woman and her brother attempt to bring the good word to the fair folk, but start to suspect the queen might just be screwing with their heads. PEAK gothic horror with a creepy fairy twist.

Witchmark (C.L. Polk) - a doctor and former soldier with magical powers of healing is trying to live a quiet life and avoid his controlling, aristocratic family’s plans for him, only to get tangled up in a massive political conspiracy when one of his patients mysterious dies. accompanying him in his investigation is a mysterious and gorgeous faerie man. romance ensues.

(this second part is a list I made specifically focused on trans authors)

The Black Tides of Heaven (J.Y. Yang) - twins with Powers rebel against their politically powerful mother, hell yeah

The City in the Middle of the Night (Charlie Jane Anders) - dystopia sci-fi where The Government is controlling a city’s passage of time and light. sounds like somebody should overthrow that…

Confessions of the Fox (Jordy Rosenberg) - I haven’t read every book on these lists, including this one, but it’s described as  “a mind-bending romp through a gender-fluid, 18th-century London” and I personally would love to read that.

The Deep (Rivers Solomon) - mermaids are descended from women who jumped overboard from African slave ships, and one carries the memories of all their collective trauma. what will happen when she decides to explore the surface?

Docile (K.M. Sparza) - sci-f m/m romance story about autonomy and criticizing capitalism; what’s better than that?

The Future of Another Timeline (Annalee Newitz) - murder! time travel! queer ladies! idk, what else do you need?

Freshwater (Akwake Emezi) - a twisty little story about mental illness and being possessed by a god; magical realism ensues.

The Merry Spinster (Daniel M. Lavery, published under the name Mallory Ortberg) - a collection of short stories drawing inspiration from classic fairy tales, Biblical mythology, and more recent works. the way Lavery reimagines “The Velveteen Rabbit” is one of the creepiest things I’ve ever read, and also one of my favorite short stories.

Ninefox Gambit (Yoon Ha Lee) - you like big ol’ dramatic space operas? I’ve got one for you right here!

[between-two-fandoms]

Who We Used To Be (Ray/Rose/Trevor)

As told by myself and @thesevenumbrellas tag teaming the whump in the 18+ JatP discord. Sev I swear we operate on the same braincell levels, we do be clowning. @bobbywilsonsupremacy  let us know what you think of this! I know you and I both hardcore ship Raybse.

Cover was created by @thesevenumbrellas​. Please don’t steal it.

This post got long so fair warning.

We wrote this in a discord server over the time span of hours so there’s some mistakes but i’m too lazy to go back and fix it all. Basically we tag teamed on a Raybse Trevor Wilson-centric whump story and can destroy a fandom with a single touch.

You’ll understand once you click the cut.

Don’t Steal Our Writing (but please reblog this to spread it around).

Trauma Time.

major whump warning

(Ren) Okay so if we're gonna be starting at 90's ot3 my children ray/bobby/Rose know that Ray is a panic bi and loves both of these humans very much with his whole ass heart.

(Ren) He takes pictures of his girlfriend and boyfriend while they’re on dates because he wants to capture the moments he was happy the most. Bobby always shed away from the camera burying his face in Rose's shoulder or leaning in for a kiss. Anyways as time goes by Ray notices Bobby's change in behavior. From being his go-happy-trauma boyf to being caught up in the music scene, often out at all hours to parties and label meetings only to come to to sleep on the couch, not even sharing the bed like he used to. It reminds Ray of the time when Bobby was grieving his boys. Ray hates it, but he loves bobby so he pushes his feelings aside to try and arrange more dates for the three of them to go on together.

(Sev) Ray waking up to only Rose in the bed and not Bobby, and it feels too cold in bed without him. So he'll try to call him, because it's 3am and he's supposed to be home and he's not. And Ray remembers what happened to Bobby's bandmates, and he can't admit it out loud but he's worried. Because what if that happens to Bobby? He knows it was a freak accident! What are the odds of it happening again?? But he can't shake that feeling when Bobby doesn't come home at night and Ray stays up all night worrying. Anyway he tries to call Bobby and Bobby doesn't answer. He'll leave loads of voicemails, trying not to be pushy because he knows Bobby doesn't respond well to that. But he's worried. He'll say "hey please call me when you get this." and then ten minutes later try again "hey just text me that you're safe okay?" He can't sleep because Bobby still isn't home. It's 5am. He has to go to work in two hours. Rose keeps telling him to go to bed but he can't.[2:58 PM]Bobby finally texts back. "I'm okay! Was playing with some friends, the gig went over time and then we went to  party." Ray wants to be angry because seriously? No phone calls because he was at a party? But he knows that'll just push Bobby away more!

(Ren) And so Ray has all of these festering emotions that boil down to worry and concern at the core but he's just so scared hes losing Bobby cause he never really had his own family to begin with and then one day when Ray comes home early from a photoshoot he can hear Bobby and Rose fighting over Bobby signing the contract that says he wrote Luke's songs but Ray just hears yelling before he even opens the door with his name thrown into the mix and then he gets even more scared because what if he loses Rose and Bobby? if he lost both of them he'd be destroyed. So he doesnt knock. He doesnt go home. Instead he walks around the city until he was supposed to go home originally and he opens the door and there's a sort of eerie silence in the air.

(Sev) Trevor’s unable to shake the feeling that something terrible will happen to Rose and Ray because he's with them. His entire family were killed in 1 night because he wasn't there with them. So at first he's clingy as fuck to Rose and Ray because what if something bad happens when he's not there? What if what if what if... But as time goes on the thinking flips. Maybe it's the music industry that's the problem. It's these weird connections in his head of if he's too successful, bad things might happen. But he can't quit music like that, he can't give up on Luke's dream. He owes his boys to become successful. So instead he distances himself from Rose and Ray. That way they won't be caught up in whatever bad thing is going to happen to him. He distances himself and he waits for it all to drop. He waits for the universe to punish him again.

(Ren) And the universe punishes Bobby when the tension between him and Rose tightens so much he knows there's no going back from it but he's not admitting to stealing the songs because he didn't. He helped Luke write all of the songs more than Alex and Reggie ever did, staying up late with Luke after fights with his mom and Bobby didn’t want Luke to be alone so yeah, he wrote the songs. Maybe not as much as he claimed but he sure as hell made sure his brother wasn’t alone so that counted for something right? And it did. Until Rose kicks him out of bed because she's pissed he'd even consider stealing music and he cant tell Ray because of the NDA the label got him to sign at a party when he was drunk and the only reason Rose knows about it is because she was there when he signed the damn thing and so Bobby pulls away from Ray because isnt it going to be easier in the long run? If he doesn’t attach himself to Ray who'll just get angry at him like Rose did?

(Sev) It's the guilt that grows inside of him every passing day. They're my songs too he tells himself over and over again. But during the dark nights, three glasses of whisky in when the world is getting hazy... even he can't believe the lies he tells himself. He fucked up Sunset Curve. He fucked up his friends' memories. And now he fucked up the only good thing he'd ever had. Ray texts him nonstop. He doesn't understand why Rose kicked Bobby out and he doesn't understand why Bobby listened. Bobby can't take Ray away from Rose. He's fucked up and a terrible person, but even he can't do that. He doesn't give Ray his new address. He refuses to meet up even for Ray to give him his stuff back. All Bobby can do is hold onto Ray's sweatshirt he stole away and a bottle of perfume the same brand Rose always wears. He cradles these things in his arms and cries.

(Ren) And that's the last he sees of Ray for all of 5 years, 20yr old puppy-dog eyed loving precious ray who Bobby would run to the second Rose says its okay. But rose never does. And then Bobby meets a cute blonde and six months later the barista shows up on his doorstep shoving Carrie into his arms calling her a bastard child. Carrie is not a bastard child Carrie is his and he loves her the second he sets eyes on her and so Bobby turns into Trevor when the new year rolls around and he starts his own album. It doesn’t do as well as Luke's his first album did but it was his. And then one day Trevor signs Carrie up for dance because Trisha from first grade made fun of her for not being able to do the splits and on the way out of the dance studio Trevor bumps into Ray, a terrified looking girl clutched to his leg. Carrie doesn't miss a beat. "Hi! I'm Carrie let's be friends!" and Carrie drags Ray's daughter off and Trevor shifts awkwardly and is suddenly 17 again but Ray's eyes still twinkle like the did when they were kids and he's still wearing eyeliner so Trevor almost missed it when a flicker of recognition crosses Ray’s face and a smile quirks at the corners of his lips and he says, "hi im Ray, thats my daughter Julie. Wanna go out for a drink?" With that same mischievous glint in his eye that made Bobby fall in love with him in the first place.

(Sev) Trevor almost stops breathing. He should say no. He knows he should say no. He's an awful person. He doesn't deserve someone like Ray. He never deserved either of them. He knows that. But can't force himself to say no. Maybe it's the twinkle in Ray's eyes. Maybe it's the soul crushing loneliness he's felt ever since he left them. Or maybe it's the way Carrie and Julie are giggling in the corner like they've known each other all their lives. He says yes. The drink ends up at a family friendly restaurant with both the girls in tow.

(Ren) Rose shows up because Ray the asshole apparently texted her while he was in the car saying he met one of Julie's friend's parents and wanted to go out on a date (keeping things pg ofc) aklsdf. And when Rose does show up Trevor sees how... sick she looks. How much paler she looked than she did all those years ago how - he still knew he loved her even if she still decided she hated him.

(Sev) The mood drops quickly. Trevor wants to ask about Rose, but not in front of the kids. Ray wants to ask about their past, but not in front of the kids. Rose... Rose who holds all the answers... doesn't know where to start first. She had never regretted not telling Ray the truth. She never wanted to change Ray's perception of Bobby like that. Ray who looked at their boyfriend as if he'd hung the moon. Ray who stayed up worrying all night until Bobby came home. Ray who held Bobby through countless nightmares... But that makes the truth staring them in the face so much harder. Because she never gave Ray the choice. She realized that a few years too late after she catches Ray staring at old pictures of Bobby in their photo albums. She'd made the choice for him. And then there's Trevor... still beautiful, staring at her with so much concern her heart breaks all over again.

(Ren) The tension doesn't fly over Carrie's head like he hoped it would, she talks to Julie about My Little Pony and Pokemon and High School Musical and their mutual hatred for Trisha from school but Carrie's hand never lets go of his and he finally plucks up the courage and stretches his arm out and says "we're vegetarian for the most part, hope that's okay." And a smile quirks at the corner of her lips and she asks "for the most part?" and Trevor nods and Carrie pipes up from her seat saying "daddy hates hot dogs,” in that blatant fact kind of way kids say things without realizing how problematic it could be. It wasn’t her fault though, Trevor has yet to tell her about her uncles, about how he was in a band, about how they were going to be legends.

(Sev) Rose and Ray both freeze at Carrie's voice. He doesn't know if the girls notice, because he's too busy trying to fight back the panic in his throat. It's been a long time since anyone had brought up ... what happened. It's easy to pretend it didn't happen when his name is Trevor and no one knows him. But these two people know him. They know him more than anyone else ever has. Even the boys. The truth hits him hard at that moment. A truth he'd been avoiding for almost two decades. Ray and Rose know him better than even he knew himself. Maybe that was why Rose had been so furious with him, or why Ray continued to chase after him even months after he moved out. Trevor hides the building panic and sudden realization with a smile. "What an I say," he said as causally as he can. "I'm a picky eater." A few hours later they end up back at the Molina's house. Bobby has no idea how it happened. -No, Trevor has no idea how it happened, he scolds himself. He's Trevor. He has to be Trevor. Trevor got him this far, Trevor made the difficult choices. Bobby was the one who got his friends kill and destroyed the best relationship he ever had. Still, it becomes harder and harder to remind himself of that. To stop himself from slipping into the comfortable shoes of Bobby, boyfriend of Ray and Rose as if the past 17 years had never happened. He finds himself on their sofa, a sofa that brings back memories both good and bad... he finds himself in a familiar home, his old studio just a short walk away, his ex's giggling in the kitchen as they make his coffee the way he's always liked it without asking for a reminder.

(Ren) Trevor can remember the day he stopped drinking the coffee Ray made for him, the morning after his first fight with Rose, when he wakes up cold because Rose basically cocooned herself around Ray's body, keeping her back turned to him and as much as he wanted to reach out to Ray, to hug him and comfort him and tell him it was all going to be okay... everything was too stuffy and too tense and deciding he just had to leave because he was going to suffocate otherwise.

(Sev) He should leave, just like last time. What was he even doing here? He should take Carrie and- Then Ray's in front of him, pushing a hot cup into is hands. "The girls are playing upstairs," he says. His voice is so calm, so understanding. "We don't have to talk if you don't want to." Trevor almost laughs. Because that's so like Ray. Almost a decade without answers and he's giving Trevor the option to ignore it all. To pretend like nothing ever happened. But he can't be that selfish again. So he shakes his head. "I'd... like to talk to you... to both of you."

(Ren) And then suddenly rose is eyeing him sus but he's been putting this off for to long and honestly fuck his label because they screwed him over one too many times for him to still even consider their relationship anything other than employee-client1[4:06 PM]and so Trevor takes a sip of Ray's coffee holy shit how did go so long without it?! and he explains it. he explains everything.

(Sev) Ray doesn't speak as Trevor explains. He never interrupts or even look surprised. His face is completely unreadable. He doesn't move until Trevor's done. And then once he is, he only stands up to start pacing the room. Trevor's oddly reminded of Alex as he does so,  and the memory is enough to make him flinch. "This... this is what you two have been hiding from me for so long?" he asked, voice brittle. "This is... this is what cost us... I mean..." But he can't finish. Ray just shakes his head, back to both Rose and Trevor.

(Ren) Suddenly he's seventeen again. Seventeen and a mess in Ray's arms burying his face into the man's chest finally feeling the weight of the world lift off of his shoulders and suddenly Rose is hugging him from behind, her too-skiny bone arms snaking around his chest and hugging him tightly threatening to never let him go saying "amour," and pressing a kiss to the back of his head, "amour we never stopped loving you."

(Sev)It's like no time has passed by the time he's done crying his eyes out. They're all huddled on a sofa that was always too small for three. Trevor's in the middle, clutching at them both as if they're going to disappear on him. Ray sits with his legs underneath them, his arms pulling the both of them into his chest. And then there's Rose, suddenly so much more delicate than Trevor remembers. She sits half on his lap, curled into them, her fingers knotted in his hair. "I can't believe you two kept this from me," Ray whispers. There's no anger. He doesn't think Ray's ever been capable of being angry. "I'm sorry," Trevor whispers, throat raw from tears. Ray answers with a firm kiss to his temple. "We wasted so much time..."

(Ren) Trevor just lays between them in their bed, nothing sexual and nothing tense it’s just them being together and Rose playing with his now-long hair, braiding it right down the middle despite it being too long for others to braid. Her fingers feel nice as they tug at his roots, familiar and a sense of calm washes over him. He lets ray fop on top of him like they used to, burying his head in his chest just listening to his heart beat, his steady constant breathing because Ray used to be afraid one day he'd wake up and Bobby would be dead too. Rose humming lightly, soft lullabies that chased away dark thoughts and Trevor just finds it so comforting, a feeling of home he hasn't had since the day he left and so he wraps his arms around Rose and Ray tight, promising himself he won't screw up his second time around.

(Sev) It's a few hours later when he speaks again. The girls are asleep in Julie's room (delighted at their surprise sleepover.) Ray's almost nodded off, head resting against Trevor's chest. But Rose is wide awake. She's laid out, tangled between them, eyes focused on something far away. He can see it more clearly now. The tremble in her hands, the way she's so still, the circles around her eyes. He takes her hand in his. "What is it?"

(Ren) And Trevor wants it to be a prank, he wants the sinking feeling in his gut twisting around his heart, the same feeling he had the morning of Sunset Curve's Orpheum performance coiling up his spine to go away. He wants everything to be okay, that he told the truth, that he was forgiven, that the universe was finally on his side for once but of course it's not because when has it ever been.  Rose's fingers run lightly over his knuckles and Ray wraps his arm around him from behind, his hands resting against Trevor's chest, something solid for him to focus on and as a tear starts to roll down Rose's cheek he reaches up to brush it away, running his hand through her hair only to pull out a clump as he pulled away but he couldn't run when his instincts to run kick in like they always used to do when situations turned emotional, bury it in his mind and lock up his worries like he always did but this wasn't going to be something he could run from.

(Sev) Life is not the fantasy or a fairy tale. There are no happy endings, only happy moments. He'd like to say they picked up right where they left off, Rose lived until a ripe old age, and they never fought again. But he'd be lying. It was hard to fold their lives back into place again, especially with Carrie and Julie. To just pick up after their seventeen year old selves was an impossible dream. But they could do breakfast. And breakfast became dinner. Dinner became one date which became two which became many. It took trouble and care, but they slotted themselves back into each other's lives again. There were lunch dates, and movie nights. There were late night wine dates and early morning coffee dates. They found their happy moments. A decade of separation had smoothed out the rough edges. If Trevor stormed out after a harsh argument, he'd return the next day with flowers and apologies. If Rose snapped and lost her temper, she'd take herself off for a walk to cool down. If Ray was bothered by something, he'd speak up instead of pushing it all down. They found their happy moments. And when 1 month became 1 year, they celebrated with moving boxes and a new, bigger couch. When 1 year became 2, they celebrated with promise rings and whispers of a better future between light kisses. 3 years became 4, became 5, and so on... They found their happy moments. But life is not a fantasy or a fairy tale. Their story ends in a hospital. Rose dies with both her husbands at her side, with both her daughters and son clutching on her hands. She dies with a smile on her face, knowing she is not leaving them to suffer alone. Ray and Trevor grieve together.

(Ren) And this time the girls are the ones who get into the fight but Trevor and Ray are there for Julie and Carrie no matter what they're fighting over carrie told julie she liked flynn but julie said flynn was hers first and doesnt understand how she can feel squishy love for two people. And this time the girls are the ones who get into the fight but Trevor and Ray are there for Julie and Carrie no matter what they're fighting over carrie told julie she liked flynn but julie said flynn was hers first and doesnt understand how she can feel squishy love for two people. They stick to their daughters through the worst of it but they don’t let the girl’s fighting rip into them too. It’s not what Rose would’ve wanted for them, it’s not what she would’ve wanted for Julie or Carrie either.

(Sev) And when Julie plays with her ghost band, it's much earlier that Trevor recognizes who she's playing with.

(Ren) Luke’s mad at first, ofc he is but after everything is explained and out in the open Trevor finds himself at home in a building that never felt like home despite the fact he grew up in it.

[sellyoursoulforagoodfic]

Request: Jango Fett x Jedi!Reader

Request by @sweeetteaa​: So have had this idea for a while now, but I suck at writing so hear me out: Jango Fett x reader, but the reader is a Jedi who goes to investigate Kamino with Obi-Wan and when she meets Jango - it’s love at first sight. And of course sassy Boba also loves her.

Jango Fett x reader

Word Count: 1825

Note: Obi-wan is on Kamino a LOT longer than he is in the movie because reasons

There were times when you thoroughly enjoyed your long-standing friendship with Obi-wan Kenobi. For example, any time he’d come to you ranting about whatever ridiculous situation Anakin had gotten them into; you almost always got a hearty laugh out of those instances.

This, however, was not one of those times.

Right now, you were rueing the day you’d decided to spar with this particular human because he’d dragged you along on his hunt for an apparently not-so-imaginary planet where you were currently getting an astoundingly confusing tour to show off an army of (admittedly quite attractive) clones made for the Republic.

You leveled your friend with a glare behind the tour guide's back and mouthed a harsh, “What the fuck?”

He just shrugged helplessly. His face smoothed back over into calm interest the instant the Kaminoan turned to glance at him. It never ceased to amaze you when he displayed that renowned ‘Negotiator’ facade.

Always one to be hands-on rather than to be lectured at, you spoke up, “You said they were highly trained for battle, yes?”

“Of course,” she replied breezily.

“Would it be possible for me to sit in on one of their drills? I’m somewhat of a tactician myself; I’d like to see how they perform in action. You and Obi-wan can keep viewing the process in the meantime.”

“Brilliant idea!” Obi-wan agreed, obviously seeing your plan of gathering more information.

The Kaminoan nodded. “Your timing is most convenient,” she informed you. “There is a simulation scheduled a few minutes from now. We have an overhead observation bay from which you can watch alongside their instructor.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

~

By the time you arrived, the simulation was already underway, and the clone that appeared to be the instructor judging from the under-armor blacks he was wearing barely spared you a glance while you were introduced. Not that you could blame his disinterest, his brothers down below were putting on quite the show. Still, you would like to glean at least a little information from the clones themselves about this place, and there needed to be a conversation happening for that so . . .

“Your sniper there needs to learn that his priority shouldn’t be the heavy troopers first.”

A handful of scars on the instructor’s face were exposed to you when he turned to smirk in your direction were surprising; you’d assumed such injuries would have been healed flawlessly in this facility. Apparently, that wasn’t the case. There was a curious rush of Force that rushed through you when he raised an amused eyebrow at you. “Oh? Who should he be focusing on then?”

“If he wants the rest of his team to survive, he’d target the stealth team making their way around the edges of the room.”

His brown eyes widened fractionally in mild surprise. “A Jetii that cares about the safety of soldiers? An unusual find. Who are you again?”

“Y/N. Another Jedi and I are here to check on the status of the army.” You made sure to make your voice wobble in a false tell.

One he seemed to buy based off the way that his smirk grew into a lopsided grin that made your heart inexplicably race. “You’re a terrible liar.”

You weren’t, but it played to your advantage to make him think you couldn’t lie for shit. Your Master, Mace Windu, had always encouraged your underhanded methods of gaining information even when the other Jedi frowned on them. ‘Use every advantage,’ he’d always say. The strange emotions that were racing around your mind because of this strange man, though, did concern you, but you shoved that to the side for later examination. You allowed a defeated-sounding sigh escape your lips as you let your body sag. “So I’ve been told.”

“So let me guess: something tipped you off about Kamino and you came looking?”

Well, he was certainly more intuitive than you would have guessed given that he was right and all. Not just a pretty face. “Busted.”

“So a tactician, piss-poor liar, and a curious adventurer. You are quite strange for a Jetii.”

“And you seem to think you know a lot about Jedi for someone who’s never left this planet.”

The second the words left your mouth, his dark eyes lit up, and you knew you’d made a mistake in your read of the man. It very abruptly all fell into place. He didn’t have those scars because of any fault in the healing here in the facility; he’d earned them in the field away from proper medical care. His knowledge wasn’t learned from some other instructor; it was learned first-hand. And his prejudice wasn’t taught institutionally; it was born from some darkness in his past.

“You’re not a clone, are you?”

“No, sweetheart, I’m the original.”

Your heart skipped a beat at the sound of his quiet chuckle, and you’d be damned if you didn’t crack a small smile yourself in response. Vow of attachments aside, you couldn’t help but already be fond of this strange man you’d just met. “So what’s your name then, Mr. Original?”

“Jango Fett.”

That name rang a bell or six. “The Mandalorian bounty hunter?” The one with the famous loathing of Jedi because they slaughtered his people?

“My reputation precedes me?”

“As well as your hatred for my kind, making you a curious choice for the progenitor of an army meant to work beside us to protect the Republic.”

“Money is money, sweetheart, and I’m learning that there might be a few Jetii that aren’t all bad.”

“A few?”

“Well . . . one or two . . . that I’d like to get to know better over a friendly dinner?”

“I suppose that could be arranged. We need to talk about how you’re training you snipers to be blind, anyway.”

~

As it turned out, dinner was in Jango’s apartment along with his clone/son Boba who you found out rather quickly you adored. The initial greeting had been rough, but he quickly warmed to you when you showed him the blaster you kept hidden within your robes for emergencies. He’d been telling some tale for the last few minutes about some trip he and his father had gone on, and his excitement was practically tangible.

“So anyways, Dad is busy trying to tie the guy up, and I spotted a no-good Jetii--”

“Boba!” his father interjected.

“What? It’s not like she’s a normal Jetii. She carries a blaster and agreed to go on a date with you.”

Your eyes widened dramatically, “This isn’t--”

“Son, this isn’t--” Jango cut himself off as the two of you talked over each other in your haste to deny the attraction you’d both been feeling all night.

“I’m a kid, Dad. I’m not stupid.”

“Boba--” This time you were cut off by a knock at the door.

The boy was already on his feet as he shouted, “I’ll get it!”

In the quiet that followed, Jango admitted, “He wasn’t wrong to assume that, you know.”

“I know,” you replied honestly, “but I took the vows, and we just met . . .”

“Dad! It’s for you!”

“Coming!” His eyes never left yours as he stood. “If you ever decide to leave that order of hypocrites . . .” The offer was clear.

“I know who to call,” you promised.

In the span of a single breath, you went from gazing at him longingly to being stunned still at the feeling of his lips on yours to staring at his retreating back in still-frozen surprise. And then everything devolved into a whirl of passive-aggressive accusatory comments, Obi-wan’s pitying gaze, and a chase that left you pondering, well, everything as you and your best friend chased the man that so easily swayed your mind away from your rigid vow of no attachments. 

“Obi-wan?” you called quietly over the comms that connected your two fighters. The two of you were tracking Jango’s ship, and you had a blackhole of anxiety gnawing its way through your stomach.

“I’m guessing this is something about that date I interrupted?”

“It wasn’t a date,” you argued automatically, but even you could hear how convincing you weren’t, “but yes.”

“It’s really getting to you that he is our assassin, isn’t it?” Your silence spoke libraries about your answer. “I’m sorry, darling.” Surprisingly, he didn’t kick into a lecture about the Code like he would have with Anakin, which you greatly appreciated. 

“Do you remember the old myths about the Force?”

“I suppose you have a specific one in mind?”

“The one about how everyone has someone out there connected to them by the Force.”

There was a heavy pause. “Do you believe this Jango Fett is your soulmate, Y/N?” Ever straight to the point was the renowned Obi-wan Kenobi.

You bit your lip, trying to fight back the tears that were currently making your eyes sting. That myth was the only way you could explain the feelings you had when looking at Jango, the way the Force seemed to dance between the two of you when he kissed you. “Yes.”

This time it was Obi-wan’s silence that was telling. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

~

After everyone was onboard a ship that was flying away from Geonosis, you locked yourself in your room with only Obi-wan allowed to enter so you could mourn in peace. All at once the galaxy was at war, your soulmate (for that’s what he must have been for you to have been brought to your knees by his death the second his head was severed even though you were too far to have seen it with your own eyes) was dead, and you were surrounded by his clones like they were living ghosts. You were a wreck, to put it mildly, and you could not let Anakin see you like this and get it into his head that such attachments were acceptable even if this was a special circumstance.

Already, you’d been weeping for hours while collapsed in the middle of the floor. And that was precisely the position Obi-wan found you when he finally returned from giving his report to the Council. In an instant, you were swept into a tight hug.

“Is there anything I can do?”

You shook your head minutely. “I can’t do this, Obi,” your voice shook. “I can’t fight with his ghosts by my side only to watch them die under my command in a war that no one wants.”

“You have my support no matter what you choose,” he promised quietly, “as long as you keep in touch.”

A shaky breath left your lips as some of the tension left your body. You hadn’t realized it, but part of you had been terrified that you would lose your best friend in this chaos. “Thank you.”

“What will you do?”

“Boba was there.”

“The little clone?”

“His son . . . sort of. He’s just a child that lost his father. I can’t just leave him.”

“I’d expect nothing less from you.”

[sol-luminosus]

Same verse as that of ‘Creep’. Happening first chronologically before they ended up on the hallway. Only that this is a Hananene version.

A look into Amane’s own point of view of love.

Title: Lego House

Fandom: Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun

Pairing: Hananene

Genre: Romance/Angst

Rating: T

Chapters: 1 (One-shot)

Summary: And out of all these things I’ve done, I will love you better now.

Yugi Amane was captivated.

It coiled and coiled and turned in the very expanse of his chest, gripping his heart so hard and so intently that he was positive his chest would burst into a thousand pieces at any given minute.

 Nene was gazing at him questioningly, tilting her head of glittering silver locks so a few strands would cascade and slightly obscure her face as it waterfalled and framed the edge of her cheek.

He’d resisted the urge to tuck the stray pieces at the back of her ear.

Just by a moment’s brave surge of will to control himself.

Amane simply answered her concerned expression and previous barrage of questions about his well-being with a gentle smile, hoping that his beguiling expression would be enough to ease the worries in her mind.

He could tell however, that his strained effort had failed, given by the way her brows had furrowed further in a mixture of what seemed to be annoyance and worry from having something clearly hidden from her.

Indeed, the eyes were windows to the soul.

His in that very moment, must have been filled with desperation and longing. Perhaps at least surely, only those two emotions had leaked out.

She couldn’t have seen it, he was positive.

He’d never let her see it.

The clear and vulnerable emotion of love he’d tried so hard to will down and forever entomb in the very depths of his heart. It screamed so deafeningly, almost numbing his senses at times and making him forget of the actuality of things.

That he was dead and Nene wasn’t.

That his future was long gone with his wishes to remain rooted to where he is now as the only thing he should cling to,

That he had let go of his dreams to fly to the moon a long time ago.

A few decades which oddly, seemed to span for as long as an entire lifetime.

That at the very least, he knew he had the power to alter Nene’s fate.

So that he won’t drag her to the same empty abyss that he had long accepted to be irrevocably submerged in until the day he’d received his judgement.

This journey to redemption was and his alone. It will and would have nothing to do with her.

For a moment, he was sure his heart had swayed. When she’d regarded him with those iron-willed gems for eyes expressing her desire to live her life the way she wanted with a lifespan that could barely be a fistful, Amane just couldn’t seem to peel his eyes away from her. She’d called out to him—reached out with those two hands clasped together as if in a fervent prayer.

The same position as she had back when she’d first summoned him in the bathroom stall.

And all the while, although it was her own wish that should have nothing to do with him, she’d undauntedly declared that she would no matter what, journey to the moon together with him.

He knew he’d seen them before. On that very night however, they’ve shone and glimmered much more blindingly than they’ve ever before. The stars in her eyes had enthralled and bewitched him so that at that moment, he was certain he’d forgotten about anything else for a split second.

That he wasn’t the infamous Honorable No. 7 called Hanako-san.

That he was simply a child burdened with a sacrifice far too heavy for him to carry than what his small shoulders could have handled.

That he was just Yugi Amane, a socially awkward teenager who was in pieces and had eyes which reflected an unsettling amount of wisdom for his age.

And she was just Yashiro Nene, a girl with her head up in the clouds in search for dreams of true love and a promising long life ahead.

But he’d only forgotten for a split second.

How he’d wished, that he could’ve told her with all the honesty and transparency that his resigned heart could offer, that he was content enough with seeing the entire universe in the depths of those two luminous, ruby eyes.

Those very eyes he’d come to love ever since he was just at the tender age of nine all those years ago in that festival.

“Hanako-kun, what’s with you today? You keep spacing out for no reason and there’s clearly something wrong. I’m not going to stop prying unless you tell me—“

The sudden boisterous noise of the bathroom door swinging open and slamming on the wooden wall had both of them jumping out from their positions.

“Oi, Hanako! This is bad. Nii-san is out on a rampage right now because the mokke are running wild in the student council office. He’s talking about ‘exterminating all spirits’. What if he goes after you during his crazy fit?”

The golden specks in Amane’s eyes had turned dark with mischief, hovering over to the loud intruder in the name of Kou with a teasing expression and fingers touching his lips in a bid of mockery.

“Oh, what’s this? You’re suddenly so worried about me? Could it be? Are you in love with me?”

The blonde haired boy had reddened a dusty shade of pink from both shock and embarrassment, before the bellow of his voice had come booming in a strong effort of denial. “I am not, you crazy apparition! Maybe my brother’s already tried smacking you before I came here that’s why there’s suddenly something wrong with your head. In the first place the one I love is sen—“

His sentence had been cut off none too curtly, with an audible slap of skin ringing through the four corners of the room from having a palm slammed flatly over Kou’s mouth, effectively silencing him down. The leader of the School Wonders could barely show any sense of sympathy for the exorcist’s angered protests from the evident pain of having his teeth graze and split the skin of his lips.

“Oh, look at the time. Shouldn’t we hurry over to this mokke massacre you were talking about?” Amane had animatedly declared, glancing over to the wrist of his free arm where a nonexistent watch was strapped.

Kou had struggled to wheel away the hand clasped so tightly over his face. If he’d had the sense to be as livid as his brother would be in situations like these, then he’d be absolutely convinced that Amane had actually tried to suffocate him just to get him to stop talking, with the sheer amount of pressure he’d used reminding him far too irksomely of wood glue.

“What are you saying? We haven’t been here for long. In the first place we should hurry up and think of a strategy firs—“

For the second time on that afternoon, Kou had found himself being stopped midway of his musings, only having to have realized then that Nene had been in the bathroom all along. His eyes had grown wide with startlement, before having the familiar creep of a blush climb its way back up to his face with the difference in shade ten times as strong compared to the previous flush of color he’d donned just minutes earlier.

His dimwitted self which entirely lacks self awareness had almost confessed to her indirectly and in the middle of a bathroom of all places. Nene had only stared at him with an exasperated expression, a combination of what was obviously that of displeasure from the two of them bickering nonsensically and the urgency of the situation which they were very, very clearly stalling at that moment.

“Oh, yeah. You’re right! Let’s get going already.” Kou had laughed nervously to himself, the embarrassment hiking further up in his throat with his voice clearly about two octaves higher than normal before speeding up and out first out of the bathroom.

“What the heck was that about? Is there something wrong with my face?”

“Other than still looking human and not resembling a radish yet, I think you’re perfectly fine.”

Nene had turned to him with a brief look of irritation, before harshly spearing him on the head with the sharp ends of her hair pins.

“Hmph, stupid Hanako-kun acting all weird and suddenly calling me a radish, again.” She’d grumbled in frustration under her breath, with an injured Amane cradling his head in his palm and having his complaints about Yashiro’s ruthlessness ignored to be whisked away by the wind.

In the midst of his half-heartedly hurt reverie, his thoughts had peddled back to Kou’s would-have-been confession, noting how easy it was for him for the words to flow and cascade from his mouth.

And he was certain that had he been not there and the setting at the very least, had been somewhere that wasn’t as peculiar and off-putting as a bathroom, then the blonde boy would have not hesitated. He could picture him perfectly in his head, the words which Amane had kept from spilling running freely with his heart completely exposed and in its rawest for her to have as her own if Nene would willingly accept.

The very thought of her responding and reciprocating his feelings had caused an unutterable amount of fear to brew in Amane’s chest.

For he who was nothing more but a sham that could merely falsify and imitate what little of his memories could correctly recall as ‘life’, Kou was the living, breathing counterpart to his lies—someone who actually had the ability within his reach to promise her happiness.

He knew, and frankly, he didn’t really need to be reminded.

It was never a competition from the beginning.

And Amane was neither a willing contender.

His eyes in the shade of a precious mineral had darted on her back, watching with a somber fondness as the slope of her slight shoulders further sagged from her dipped mood exclusively caused by him just minutes prior.

Amane’s stare had narrowed in a sentiment of strangled affection, one that he was absolutely terrified for anyone or anything to ever decrypt from him.

“Maybe just for a little while. If it means I can keep you, I can stay in love with you for a little while longer.” The words had gone out and died in a whisper, coherent but with every syllable surely indistinct enough for anyone other than himself to understand.

She’d whirled her head around in query, certain that she’d heard him speak but not quite catching his words as she’d been lost in her own embittered sighs and grievances over the grating spectral being.

Amane had simply smiled at her, that same tenderly lonely smile he’d given her earlier that day when they were in the bathroom.

And Nene had only felt the same sting of emotion she’d felt back then as well; puncturing and aching yet beckoning her to him at the same time.

Creep: (Same verse/Tsukanene version)