#The end of the year is also when I panic about the passage of time and how little I've gotten done and how I will never actually be a

[icewindandboringhorror]

................ he 

[coffeebanana]

5, 15, 29 for AO3 wrapped!

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

Well, uh...Practice Kissing has wracked up a stupid amount of attention in just a few weeks (thank you @buggachat kajfdsjkfb the power of your reblogs is unmatched). I suppose I could also say all of your flaws and all of my flaws (are laid out one by one), but I was sort of expecting that one to do well because it was a post-s5 finale fic.

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

...SO VERY MANY.

Entangled

everything i know (brings me back to us)

Say Something 

Probably Not The Best Idea

Plus like, a lot I haven't actually started posting yet. And maybe some others I forgot to list?

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

This question is impossible to answer--how do i pick just ONE?!--but something from Say Something is probably a safe bet...

Drawing in a shaky breath, Adrien kept wandering. A quick glance at Marinette confirmed she was still talking to Alya, and it felt like too much effort to interrupt. Instead he tried to focus more on the physical world around him. He let his fingers brush against damp tree bark when neared the fence. He honed in on how moisture from the grass stuck to the ends of his jeans, seeping slowly through the soles of his shoes. His father would have hated that—both the wet footprints he’d bring home and the way he probably looked ridiculous right now. Unbecoming of an Agreste. The thought made the ghost of a smile curl in Adrien’s mind. Because at least this moment was entirely his own. Even if it only came from his desperate attempts to cling sanity, he could safely say nobody made him squint up at the sun peeking through the trees until his eyes watered and he almost crashed into a bush. Nobody told him to sit down in the middle of the lawn, to weave his fingers through the blades of grass. He did it anyways, feeling a semblance of peace spread through him as the dew soaked through his jeans. It didn’t push all the other things away, didn’t suddenly stop his fears from slipping in and out of the cracks in his facade. But it was something. It pushed his blinding panic to the background. And when Marinette walked over to join him, he no longer felt like pulling away. “The grass is wet,” he warned as she sank down next to him. “I don’t care.” He thought he heard a smile in her words, but he didn’t turn to see it. His eyes were fixed on the fistful of grass he pulled at experimentally. He didn’t want to rip it free, but there was something soothing about tugging it to the breaking point and letting it go free, watching the mound of soil collapse before he moved onto a new patch.

This snippet is very personal to me, I guess. Because it's very much inspired by times I've used outside to ground myself. Feeling trees and grass. An inexplicable need to sit down. Or to walk around aimlessly, because I just don't want to stop. Looking up at the sky as I walk because...it makes me feel childlike? Free? And mostly just...wanting to physically feel things as I wander.

thanks for the ask!! 💜

[antilocaprine]

If you're still accepting those fake fic titles, how about "Hey Moon, Please Forget to Fall Down" (Line from an old ass panic at the disco song I like a lot)?

As with any song lyrics, I had to look up the song - and I have heard this before, though it's been a while. I read the lyrics before I listened to it again, and the lyrics are interesting - I get a mythical/fairy tale kind of vibe from them. And then the song itself sounds very summery. That combination makes me think of some kind of faerieland AU Frenrey fic where Gordon stumbles into the fae realm on Midsummer, when the borders between worlds are thin and passage is easier, even accidental. He meets Benrey, another lost soul, who assures Gordon he's not human - but c'mon, he clearly is. Especially compared to the beings who find them almost immediately: Tommy is a bright-shining dandelion spirit, who appears free-floating and almost naively positive, but can also turn on a dime and break through concrete. Coomer is an oak dryad, powerful and sturdy, but kind enough to let anyone rest in the shade of his tree's branches. And Bubby is a fire spirit, living in symbiosis with Coomer's oak woodlands, but liable to flare up into an inferno at any slight.

The other three are acting weird about Benrey attaching himself to Gordon and following him through the fae realm as he tries to get home, but they end up helping (with varying levels of enthusiasm). Eventually, Gordon finds himself standing before the shining ranks of the Summer Court, carrying the spoils of his various quests in a bid to be allowed to return to the mortal realm. The Green Man (who is dressed in midnight blue and has icy blue eyes, so Gordon doesn't get what THAT'S about) passes judgement that Gordon will not be allowed to return - it is no longer Midsummer, and opening a way through would take too much energy. He'll have to wait for a year until next Midsummer. But Gordon knows time passes differently in the fae realm, and a year there could be a century in the mortal realm. Plus he'd be forced to eat or drink if he stayed there for a year, which would mean he's stuck regardless.

Just as Gordon is about to fall into despair, the ground rumbles and the Summer Court straighten and glance about fearfully. The Green Man's eyes flash brighter and he says carefully "...but perhaps...we should consult the Captain...of the Guard..."

And then Benrey steps forward and shrugs. "Yeah, I think he can leave? He's not, uh, he's not supposed to be here, anyway, so...I mean, you're the G-Man, you can do what you want, but, uh, it might not turn out...great. For you."

Then Tommy moves out of the throng to sling an arm around Gordon's shoulders and grins up at the fuming Green Man, who deflates at the sight of his golden-bright son taking the human's side. A prince of the Summer Court should not consort with mortals, but this one didn't have much choice when his granite-soul guard captain took a shine to the lost human. The thing about stone is that it can change, just on a different timescale than plants and animals. And every stone remembers when it was once living magma. Very few stone spirits end up in the fae courts, but when they do, they are unnervingly powerful, with the capability to tear the ground out from under dryads or split the earth beneath a lake, draining it of water and life. As soon as the earth grumbled with the threat of a quake, Benrey was holding the whole of the Summer Court in his hand, as if he'd grown to the size of a mountain and scooped them into his palm.

And then Gordon gets to decide if he wants to go home or stay and ends up accidentally becoming an honorary member of the Summer Court anyway because he's under Benrey's (and Tommy's) protection. The end.

send me a made-up fic title and i’ll tell you what i would write to go with it

[animehouse-moe]

Mahou Shoujo Magical Destroyers Episode 4: R U Ready?

Another day, another Magical Destroyers episode. It's not so much predictable as it is informative and relatable, but that doesn't cause the value or enjoyment of it to depreciated as it parades itself around through Inagawa's vision that tackles just as many abstract concepts as it does pieces of otaku culture.

So I think I'll try to keep this one short, since the idea is pretty well established and explained. The episode is effectively all about the rift between generations in otaku culture, as a hobby almost. It's about the modern day reconciling with its roots, and that source lashing out at where they've been forced to come to.

Before I get into that though, I want to establish some history with the term Otaku. It originated in the 80s, much like the otaku shown in this episode, and it is indeed a word that's come to embody a similar meaning to how English speakers see "geek" and "nerd", but it wasn't always that way.

Otaku is a very finnicky term in its early years. Originally, it was popularized as term in a magazine that was known for Lolicon Hentai content (though it was later lessened due to reader feedback). Regardless, the term came to be a way to refer to who we see as Otaku thanks to a columnist that would write articles titled "Otaku Research" (Otaku no kenkyuu). From there, it saw use at a marginally harsher version of "geek" or "nerd". Basically, like how old school movies would have bullies refer to kids as a geek. Derogatory and aggressive, but not something full of distaste or anything.

That changed at the end of the 80s though. As the term Otaku gained ground it was used by more, and was forever attached to the "Otaku Murders". Tsutomu Miyazaki was in their late 20s at the end of the 80s, and was a serial killer at the center of a batch of gruesome acts over the course of a year. After being caught and arrested, media began to label Miyazaki as an Otaku and created a massive moral panic to erupt towards the group in Japan at the time. The piece that remains interesting however is that Miyazaki's collection was largely live action horror and pornography, but the media ran with his collection being largely anime and manga.

It's very heavy, but it's how the life of the term Otaku really started. An immediate plummet towards rock bottom that created an intense separation and hatred of Otaku in Japanese society. Outcasts, people that are unable to understand or relate to reality, people that cannot integrate with society, failures. It was a harsh and terrible time to be an Otaku, which this episode does a solid job of depicting while leaving out the heavier aspects.

And within that, a rift is formed. The older otaku who struggled to enjoy their hobby, versus the younger otaku who know nothing of strife. It's a great interaction as you see it all over the place with generations across media and hobbies. Car guys, music (particularly stuff like Rap), even video games. The challenges that faced earlier generations were their rite of passage, one that newer generations never cleared or struggled with. And on the opposite end, why would the newer generations respect that struggle when they have everything in front of them and have their own issues?

It's a back and forth that, even though it's covered comically, gets the point across of the generational gaps in hobbies and the distaste that each sees in the other. So very much something that holds particular value in otaku culture, but can also be applied and related to other hobbies and interests.

Okay, well this is not short but there's still more to, sorry! I'll try to breeze through it.

It's impossible to remove tropes and clichés from the root of how many fans see and understand anime these days, so I like how much they're leaned on through this series alongside expectation subversion. It's fun, definitely not fresh, but an enjoyable feeling of nostalgia for the illogical and odd nonetheless.

Plus, random fanservice? Gotta love it, and how it both sort of mocks the pointless scenes of women in animanga, while also placing the sexualization of Blue in her own court.

The pervasion of Otaku culture in interaction and casual dialogue is still quite fun and it finds the right times to make it funny versus making it something closer to a parody. I wouldn't exactly call it a parody as it's not mocking it per se, but it's certainly not an entirely serious depiction either.

In addition to that, I'm also still liking the sort of romantic undertones that the characters give off randomly. I'm unaware as to whether or not it's an intentional piece, but it really adds to that immature feel that pervades a lot of the shallow aspects of the story. You can see it as the weird and wacky Magical Girl comedy that's a high schooler's vision, or you can see the pieces that it expresses underneath. It's easy to take the shallow without the depth, but the latter doesn't come without the former.

And I think that's an important piece to remember with Magical Destroyers. You can take it as it gives it you and have a good time if you're okay with the production value, but you can't separate the two facets of Inagawa's approach to his work in this anime. In for a penny in for a pound, and I think fans that dive in headfirst are really appreciating what Inagawa's giving out.

[she-is-ovarit]

Experiencing generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) to me is consistent, meta harshness towards myself the second I manage to open my mouth to speak paired with panic when I realize I have to. It is an internal battle of attempting to hit every vocal note correctly and communicating a sentence perfectly while having nothing short of discomfort and judgement for my own voice. And once a sentence is delivered, internally cringing and recoiling at how it came out, while anticipating the reaction of the listener and sitting with the paranoia that I came off the wrong way. It is reliving this moment like groundhog day long after the interaction is over.

It's experiencing a slight difference in my body or physiology and being flooded with worst-case-scenario ideas and laying awake all night imagining the cancer. It's visiting the ER or a general practitioner multiple times a year to obtain relief from a medical professional reassuring me that nothing's wrong. It's further spinning out when they tell me that it's good that I came and they need to do further, more invasive procedures to determine a treatment. It's terror and division between desperately wanting to protect my own life and not wanting to take the steps I may have to take to do so, marching towards a presumed death while closing my eyes.

It's suddenly and very abruptly experiencing a nagging dread about a sound my car made three days ago, how it briefly seemed to slip taking that corner. It's imagery of suddenly losing control of my vehicle and colliding directly into someone else, both of our lives being taken in a second or someone ending up horribly disfigured. So perhaps I should not drive anywhere until I get it checked out by a mechanic again, and oh my god my finances.

It's the frequent feeling of "bad excitement" in my chest, of feeling my heart beat, of thought patterns that drift into paranoia and being unable to discern the difference between reality and true danger or genuine failure. It's both emotional eating and compulsive working out, migraines during stressful conversations and an inability to obtain rest. It's brain fog, hyper-vigilance, insomnia, and intrusive thoughts. It's nothing short of absolute distress in relationships about one thing or another. It's having so many thoughts about the passage of time, a clock ticking away towards my parents eventually passing, and simultaneously a supernatural or intuitive feeling that if I get behind the wheel to drive the two hours to visit them in an old vehicle with bad tires I won't make the journey.

It's feeling like this, most of the time, yet it's also having moments of occasional, serene clarity and realness. Sudden, random strokes of confidence and finding myself present as opposed to living in the future. Deeply belly laughing with a friend and the rare, natural reaction immediately made note of. Speaking assertively and fluently during a work meeting and thinking, "Wow, that came across well". Feeling relaxed during a drive or walking down a forest path and falling in love with the color green. Listening to another person and really hearing what they're saying and entangling with them on a neurological level. Seriously and intently trying to hold onto those experiences for as long as possible and permanently impressing them into my mind so that maybe those precious moments will come back to me and want to stay a little longer.

[thefloatingpickle]

All Shook Up part 2

A bored, lonely librarian gets a break from the mundane when a night out leads to a meeting with Tom Bennett. Tom!FemOC Older woman (not by much) 

No triggers for this part. Please forgive grammar errors and the like, I’m still shaking off some dust.

  The following Tuesday at Central was passing like moss as Addie flipped through a rather large tome about one of the many french revolutions. She hadn’t seen the girls since Friday with them only coming in Tuesdays and Thursdays to do their shelving, but she was curious to hear how the rest of the party had gone. If she was being honest with herself she was also anxious to find out if Tom had spilled the beans about their walk home to Tilly as well. Not as much the way it ended, but she wasn’t elated by the thought of them knowing she had gotten herself caught by two idiots because she was too snared up in her own thoughts to be aware of her surroundings. In all of her time walking home alone on the streets of Chicago she had learned to be wary of being alone in the dark and she felt in a way like she had let herself down. She was starting to zone out rereading the same passage about peasants breaking into royal housing to forcibly remove the current head of state when the doors to the non fiction section were thrust open and the sounds of Tilly and Becky’s laughter filled the air. 

 “Addie!” Tilly shouted as she skipped across the room to lean against the large wooden desk. “Did you have fun on Friday? Everyone said it was great fun having you round for the night.” “She smiled up at the girl. It had occurred to her over the weekend that, even though she hadn’t admitted it to herself previously, the two girls were really her only friends in the area. She hadn’t been kind enough to treat them as such. “I did, your friends are a fun group Tilly. I am glad you seemed to be having fun.” “She was until Tom left her hanging again.” Becky popped up from behind her with a teasing tone. “He did not! Tom and I aren’t anything, for the last time.” The newly twenty year old young woman turned her attention back to Adaline, “Though he did have a lot of questions about you when he came around on Sunday.” Addie felt heat rising to her cheeks as she fought back her interest. “Oh? That’s curious, we hardly spoke at all.” “Right…” Tilly’s face shifted to a look of disapproval. “Until he walked you home that is?” She was busted. “We ran into each other on the way back, it wasn’t anything intentional.” “Well he said it was a nice conversation, wanted to know just about everything I had to tell about you.” trying not to panic she moved to sus out exactly how much he had spilled about their walk together. “It was a nice talk. Short though, only a few blocks. He caught up to me near the alley on Beaumont street.” Tilly let a small smile cross her lips “He said you were a bit turned around, so he showed you the way back to yours. He likes to be helpful like that when he can, ‘specially if he thinks it may impress a lady.” With that she shuffled off to find Becky and the two got to work.

   There was no way to tell if she knew they had kissed, not much had been given away by her brief explanation of his telling of their time together so on lunch Addie decided instead of hiding in the office and trying to blow the smoke from her cigarette out the small window like normal she would probe the conversation further. “I was surprised to see him on the road after the party, the two of you seemed to be well engaged when I left.” She added an air of teasing interest over the comment as she inclined her back against the stacks opposite the blonde. “Nah, that’s just Tom being familiar. We’ve known eachother since we were kids. But he said he had mentioned as much while you were walking.” Clearly caught, Addie decided just to be blunt. “What else did he say about the walk?” Tilly seemed a bit annoyed now, “Just that you came across one another on the road, you were lost. He offered to help you home, you asked him about how we knew one another. Then he said he mentioned coming by the library to see you and that you cut it off saying he was too young.” She felt an instant relief. 

  “He is too young.” “Well that’s a matter of your point of view I suppose. Tom has always liked them older, it’s gotten him in some trouble over the years.” “Trouble?” Tilly grinned over at Addie, aware of the interest in her voice. “Yeah, when we were seventeen he got himself caught up with a married woman. She was only twenty, but her husband didn’t like catching him in their bed none. The girl was married to a man who was nearly thirty, treated her like dirt too. Tom was sweet with her, I think it was the only time I’d seen him really invest in someone.” Tilly was aware of the curious silence in the air. “He’s not bad Tom, just rough. His mom died young, and his dad wasn’t one for raising younglings. Most of it fell to his sister, so he was allowed to rampage from pretty young. It gained him some experience past his age. Though I wouldn’t call him a picture of maturity or anything.” Tilly put her books down then and turned to face Adaline full on, “But he is good when he wants to be, and kind. Has a lot to give someone just keeps himself from giving it, if you catch my meaning.” Addie nodded and turned to leave but Tilly had one more thing to add. “Don’t blow him off just cuz he’s a bit younger than you think you want. He could surprise you.” 

  Back at the desk after eating the day continued to mull by at a snail's pace. Addie couldn’t stop thinking about her friend's words. Maybe she had dismissed Tom too harshly, twenty was young, but he’d been near taking care of himself for years from the sound of it. Besides that she had to admit to herself she hadn’t been able to keep the thought of their kiss from her mind for more than a moment or two since Friday night. He’d been so sure of himself, and she’d liked it. A group of students in looking for books on the last war gave her something to keep her mind occupied until it was time to punch out for the day. Walking down the main steps from the employee lockers to the front door she ran in to the girls again. “Off home for the night then?” Becky asked looking a bit devious, “Yes, I am. I don’t know what else a person would do on a Tuesday night.” “Well if you want to have a bit of fun we are meeting some of the lads from Friday and a couple girls you don’t know in the park for a couple rounds.” “You’re just going to sit in the park and drink?” She couldn’t help sounding a bit judgemental. “Well the boys are having an arm wrestling tournament. The last time we had one in the pub they were kicked out for fighting over one guy cheating.” The two young ladies giggled as they crossed arms walking towards the park. “There will be some older chaps there, for the tournament, they’ve set up prizes and everything. Might be better than another afternoon alone.” Tilly looked hopeful as they baited the older girl. Addie thought about how she had enjoyed having company on Friday, and how she had told herself she would do more to enjoy her time in London after spending another boring Saturday morning trying to find anything other than her library work to report home about in the several letters she had penned. Arm wrestling sounded like it could be fun, and besides it couldn’t hurt to meet some men her own age. “Alright then, to the park.” Surprised to find herself smiling, she caught up with the girls and they made their way down. 

________

  “Well if it ain’t the loveliest ladies of Central Library.” A boy she remembered as Nathaliel greeted them. “And Addie, you’ve come to join in again too!” Adaline tried not to be offended by clearly not being one of the loveliest ladies mentioned before. “Nice to see you again Nathaniel.” “Agh now call me Nate, all my mates do.” “Good to see you Nate.” Addie smiled back. The boy wrapped his arm around Tilly’s neck, and another she remembered as Luke came up and put his arm around Becky’s waist, greeting her with a kiss. “That’s brand new, started the night of my party,” Tilly leaned in with a whisper, “If you would have asked me to put money on it happening I would have lost out by a million.” Addie laughed and the pair found a seat on a picnic table surrounded by near strangers. Tilly took the time to tell Addie everyone's names, but they came at her so fast she hardly had time to pair them to the faces. “Who's up first?” Tilly asked looking to Nate, “No one yet in an official capacity,” Adaline couldn’t help but smile warmly at the boy's now serious tone in regard to the tournament. “But there are a few pairs warming up, everyones real serious since Tom got most of the lads to put in a crown towards the prizes.” Addie felt a lump gather in her throat. “I suppose I should’ve mentioned he’d be around here somewhere.” Tilly fained an apologetic look. “I suppose you should have.” Was all Adaline could get out in response. 

 “Right then, you can take yourself home and we’ll keep the crown if you’re going to be a cheater you twat.” The shout came from a couple tables over, buried in the crowd past view. “You tell’em Tom. We won't have any of that shit round these parts.” Nate yelled back. Tom's head popped up from his spot on the bench and he made his way over to them, shock clearly coming over him as he locked eyes with Addie. “Well ‘ello then lasses. Set free from your books I see.” He came to a halt just in front of the two women, a smirk growing. “Can’t keep us forever. Besides we have to start getting Addie out more or she may turn into one of the statues round the park.” Tilly let out a hearty laugh and the boys followed. “Surprised to see you here, and on a Tuesday nonetheless, with work in the morning.” The arrogance in his voice ground Addie's sense of propriety and she snapped back. “Not surprised to see you as the ringleader to this little game.” Annoyance passed over his features. “Well it may not be the sort of posh get together you’ve grown accustomed to throwing for yourself in your flat alone, but we make do.” “Tom!” Becky smacked him in the back of the head. “Do you know how hard it was getting her out with us in the first place? Don’t be rude now.” He rolled his eyes as he turned away. “I’m going to find a drink.”

   Addie considered leaving for a moment but decided that the chance of meeting new people outweighed the aggravation of dealing with Tom’s immaturity. Several of the guys competing were rather good looking and Tilly made sure to introduce Adaline to as many as she knew. One particular man named Buck, with dark hair and eyes asked Addie if she would cheer for him as the night went on. “I always do my best with beauty at my side.” He was smooth and charming, so she agreed. Standing next to him at whichever table she watched him make his way through four rounds of wrestling. He was strong for his size, though none of the men could be considered particularly muscled in stature. When he beat his last competitor Luke, the boy Becky had been cheering for the youngen simply smiled, announced he’d done his best but he would be taking home a prize anyway and grabbed Becky by the hand to lead her into the nearby woods. 

  “You and me then Buck.” came from behind Addie as Tom plopped himself on the bench to her right. “You and me for it all Tom.” Buck had a cheshire grin and he put his arm on the table and readied himself for the challenge. Tom clasped his hand in Bucks and on the count of three the first of the rounds began. She could hear Tilly and Nate cheering for Buck playfully from the side but Addie found herself silent, watching intently as the two men struggled back and forth, it was a while before a flag went up on Buck's side of the table as he smashed Tom’s fist to the wood. 

  “That’s round one to me.” Buck said with a laugh as Tom looked irritated. “Yeah, yeah. I just lost my concentration a bit. Don’t go patting yourself on the back yet mate.” Tom shook out his arm and placed it back in position. Round two started with a shout and just before the men began their struggle Addie caught Tom’s eye watching her. He broke the glance almost immediately though and put himself to his task, smashing Bucks arm down fast enough to startle most standing to watch. “Right then, round three for all the crowns! Last chance to place bets on a winner.” Nate hollered from the sideline, the crowd scrambled to place their bets as the men shook out their arms for the last time. 

    Addie was watching Tom ready himself when Buck spoke up “Hey beauty, ain't heard a word from you since the match started.” Addie looked to Buck trying to find something to say as Tom spoke up, “Maybe she realized she picked the losing team Buck, can’t hold it against her if she wants to switch sides.” “I doubt that ya wanker, maybe the cat's got her tongue is all.” Addie rolled her eyes at that. “I assure you I speak perfectly well, just got caught up in the competition.” “Well then Addie who is it? Me or Buck, after all, someones gotta give the winner a kiss.” “I haven’t agreed to kiss anyone thank you!” Addie laughed out, taking a sip of the beer she’d been nursing most of the evening. “Leave her alone and get to your last round boys, it’s clear she’s not looking to kiss either of you, no surprise with the way you're acting.” Addie turned to the unknown girl in the crowd and gave her a thankful nod. “Right then, shall we?” Tom put his arm back at the ready and Buck followed. The call rang out and the match started with both men putting in all they had. Back and forth they pulled each other, both getting to the point where it seemed they had the other beat till at last Tom banged Buck’s hand against the wood so hard it let out a crack. “And the tournament goes to Tom!” Nate bellowed above the roar of applause and Tom stood smiling. Someone from behind handed him a fair sized sack clacking with coins and he reached across to shake Bucks hand. “Almost had you there mate, good win.” Buck was all smiles as he disappeared in the crowd to find a drink. 

  Everyone had broken off into clusters after the games ended. Addie was with Tilly and a few people she’d met during the evening having fun, but decided it was about time to be heading home for some real food and dinner before it got too late. She said her goodbyes and headed towards home. Coming out of the trees towards the entrance to the park she heard someone running up behind her. 

  “Hold on a bit.” Tom called out from a few yards back and after considering it a moment she stopped and waited. “Did pretty well for myself back there ey?” He said as he strode up beside her. “Yea, you surprised me to be honest. Congratulations.” “Surprised you?” He put his hand to his heart in pretend offense. “Don’t let my size lead you wrong, there's strong arms under this jumper.” Grabbing his biceps he grinned at her. “Have you eaten?” He changed his tone and met her eyes. “No, I was just heading home to make something.” “Let me take you somewhere? I’ve just won all this,” Shaking his cloth sack of winnings he finished, “and if I don’t use it well it’ll be wasted on pints.” She thought about it for a second and remembered Tilly’s words in the library. “We can grab something on the way, but I do need to get home. I have to feed my cat.” “Oh a cat, I love cats. There's a good spot thats quick at fish and chips on the way back to yours from here, we can pop in and grab some to go. And maybe some beer to have with it at yours?” She hadn’t really intended to have him up, she was hoping they would have found something they could eat as they walked, but he seemed over joyed that she had agreed and she didn’t have it in her to turn him away now. “We can have one beer, and eat. Then I need to get ready for bed.” “That’s a good deal to me.” He grinned, taking her hand in his as they made their way down the street. 

 He wasn’t wrong about the chips, they were done in just a few minutes and she stood awkwardly trying to think of a conversation. Finally she settled on asking more about his family, since Tilly had peaked her interest with her small telling of them earlier. “ Tilly says you live with your father and your sister?” “Yea, dads alright, Fancies himself a pacifist. My sister, well she’s great. All I’ve ever had looking after me really. And she’s a singer, damn good one too. Though her taste in men leaves something to be desired.” Addie laughed at that. “And what's wrong with the men she dates?” “Well I’d wager the same thing that's wrong with the men you date. Posh sorts, all noses up. This most recent bloke has her in a real tissy though.” “Why do you dislike posh people so much? Having  money doesn’t make them bad.” “Don’t make ‘em any better than me though, does it? And they’ll sure act like it does.” They came up to her building quickly so she decided she’d let the subject drop. “Here we are.” Pulling open the main door to the lower floor then guided him up to her third floor flat. 

 She looked around in horror as they entered the room, empty cans of cat food from the weekend that she hadn’t thought to pick up yet, and dishes in the sink. “Sorry for the mess.” He didn’t seem to notice though, at least not enough to care. He was too busy drinking in his surroundings. Looking at the pictures she had hung on the walls, the magazines on her table, and most embarrassingly the novel she’d left sitting on the side table next to the couch. Open to one of the saucier passages. “So this is what fancy nonfiction librarians get themselves up to reading when they’re not at work ‘ey?” He didn’t look at her as he said it, instead reaching down to trace his fingers along the words in the passage. “That’s been there for weeks,” she lied, “one of the older women at work recommended it, I had no idea it was a romance,” “Uh-huh.” He grinned up at her as he made his way to a seat at the table.“Shall we then?” 

  She got plates and cups from the counter and he portioned out the food as she poured the drinks. “It’s a nice flat though, having the whole attic is a good get.” He looked around some more as he piled food in his mouth rather hastley. “Yeah, I was lucky to find it. The landlord is a bit of a pain, but it's got a good view from the bedroom, and it has a good sized tub.” His brows rose as she mentioned the tub, but before he could get out whatever had come to mind there was a thump, and her large orange tabby leapt up onto the table. “Sorry” she sighed as she took the cat off, “Over here Simon, I know it’s dinner time.” Pulling a can from the cupboard she ushered the cat over to a nearby window. “Well he’s a handsome chap innit he?” Tom got up with a wide smile and bent down near the tabby. Simon was more than happy to welcome the pets, totally distracted from his meal. “Yea, funny enough he came with the place. I moved in and he just kept running in behind me, so finally I let him stay.” “He knows a good thing when he sees it.” Tom looked up at her with a smirk. “I suppose so.” 

 Sitting back in front of her food she began eating with a bit more speed. “Rushing to get rid of me now are you?” He looked at her as he took his seat again, a bit of deviousness coming through his eyes. “No, I just, well it’s getting late.” “It’s only half past eight.” Pointing to the clock behind. “Do ’ya mind if I smoke?” “No, um, just at the window if you would.” She pointed to a smaller table next to a window with an ashtray and a game of solitaire started. He held one out to her in an offer, she joined him at the window leaning against the table as he stood against the wall. “Thank you for dinner. It was kind.” “I’m not always an ass, just mostly.” He joked, standing straighter as he caught her glance. 

 “I’ve been thinking about kissing you a lot.” She pondered how she wanted to move forward and decided to be honest. “I’ve been thinking about you kissing me alot.” He smiled then but not with as much confidence as she had expected. “I’ve been thinking I wish I’d done it differently.” “How’s that.” She bit her lip as he exhaled a cloud of smoke out the small window. “Donno, just wish I had done it more proper like. A good one.” “Well, I thought it was rather good if I’m being honest. If not surprisingly so.” He did look confident after that. “Oh yeah? Didn’t let you down with it then.” “How would a kiss let me down Tom” He laughed. “Clearly you haven’t had many kisses.” And it was true, she hadn’t. 

  She’d only had one serious boyfriend back in Chicago and while they had done about everything two people could do, she could think of only three or four other guys who had ever tried to kiss her. “No, I guess I haven’t.” She felt embarrassed then, so she put out her smoke and headed back to the table. “It’s a shame that, a woman like you should have so many kisses she can’t remember them all. Anything else seems a waste.”  Taking his seat. “You know you’re a real sight to see Adaline.” His voice was nearly a whisper. “Am I?” She said not looking up. “Best I’ve seen, that's for sure.” He said placing one of his hands on her chin to bring her eyes to his. “I’d like to kiss you again if that’s alright?” He seems shy now in a way she hadn’t noticed before. “I think it would be.” He looked surprised, but didn’t give her the chance to change her mind before he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. 

 It was softer than he’d been the first time, he gave her time to relax into it before softly flicking his tongue against her lips to gain access. She let him in as he pulled her closer, nearly on to his lap, wrapping one hand around her waist and the other around the back of her head. Threading his fingers through her hair. He still tasted like beer and cigarettes but she decided she liked it as she leaned forward closing the space between them. Her tongue found his and he let out a soft moan as their breath got heavier and the kiss deepened. She grabbed a handful of his sweater and held tight while he tightened his grasp on her hair, tugging just a little. She let out a small coo of her own as he pulled back slowly. “That’s how I should have done it.” He was slightly breathless as he ran the tip of his nose up the bridge of her own. “Yeah.” Was all she could get out as she fought to even her breathing. 

  “Do you still need to go to bed?” The question shook her from her trance state and she fought to regain her sense of self control. “I, uh, I do.” He was clearly let down, but sat back in his chair and grabbed his fork from his plate. “We should finish eating then huh?” He began picking at the now cold breaded fish and potatoes. “Tom,” She wasn’t sure what she wanted to say but she felt like she needed to say something. He didn’t look up from his plate so she continued. “I like kissing you Tom.” That caught his attention again. “I like kissing you, I’m just not sure about it.” He stabbed at a piece of fish hard enough to make her jump a bit. “Bloody hell Addie, I’m not trying to marry you. It’s just a bit of fun is all, nothing to get your gears turning over.” “Oh…” “No now come on.” He leaned forward and put his hands on her thighs. “I don’t mean it like that. I just mean it doesn’t have to be so serious so fast is all. It’s not like we have to run around telling everyone and making it a big deal.” She looked at her lap unsure. 

He put his knuckle under her chin to make her look at him again. His face was soft, eyes gentle and brows slightly tight as he gave her a weak smile. “I’m saying we can keep kissing, and all that, but it doesn’t have to mean you have your mind made up about me.” He sat up, running his hands through his hair clearly trying to piece together the right words. Then like he’d had a stroke of genius he looked at her and grinned. 

 “Just let me show you. Let me stay the  night, or even just a while longer. You call the shots, you tell me when it’s enough. And at the end of it, if you’re still not sure then I will leave you alone to make up your mind. But if it’s okay, if you feel okay about it. Then we just keep it close for a while. We hang out here, or with everyone like normal, but I don’t do anything to let on what's happening until you’re ready.”

 Addie mulled it over, kissing Tom felt better than almost any experience she had had with a man before, and she could only imagine what more with him would be like.She liked the idea really, mostly for Tom, but also because there was a part of her that had felt like she was withering away in her flat night after night. She was twenty-five years old and had hardly any life experience. So she made up her mind, looking over to him, now pacing in front of the open window with a smoke in his hand she gave him her answer. “Okay Tom.” He stopped dead in his tracks, “What?” Shock coming from his eyes, and slightly agape mouth. “I said yes, you can stay.” He got the look of a predator on his face then as he crossed the room to her and reached to pull her from her chair. “We should clean up this dinner mess then.” He bent down and kissed her again, a quick kiss, then moved to begin clearing plates. Adaline wasn’t sure what she had just signed herself up for but she was equally nervous and excited.

[thisworldisablackhole]

SeeYouSpaceCowboy - - The Romance of Affliction

It was a cold, dark winter evening. My best friend and I were having one of our frequent "get faded and listen to music" sessions. Those hang outs were always the highlight of my week. Crack a cold one, have some deep conversations, and crank some tunes. Lift off, baby. The vibes were good, but when it came time for me to commandeer the Auxiliary Cord SS, I admit I was a little sheepish.

"You got any new shit?"

"Well… sort of… you might not like it though"

"Fuck it dog, put that shit on. You know I'm pretty open minded"

I laughed.

"Alright, we'll see about that"

I think I might have put on "…and My Faded Reflection in Your Eyes", first, but my memory of that night is a little hazy. It doesn't matter though, because what happened next was a complete and enthusiastic unravelling of our former selves as we bonded over a new found mutual love of melodic metalcore. We had been friends for close to 10 years, but up until this point we had reserved our musical exchanges for mostly palatable cool guy bands who hid their emotional urgency under a veil of artful stoicism. Perhaps this was done out of shame, because wearing your heart on your sleeve is generally discouraged in the culture of adulthood. It felt like a risk to open up and share the side of me that still loves an arguably juvenile mode of expression, but the reward for doing so was unbridled joy and connection.

SeeYouSpaceCowboy said fuck shame, fuck stoicism, fuck acting cool. We're gonna scream, we're gonna sing, and we're gonna feel something. The Romance of Affliction is scenecore for the modern age, and it is completely unapologetic in being so. Taking cues from bands like Drop Dead Gorgeous, The Blood Brothers, Botch, and Underoath, SYSC created a special blend of sounds that is equal parts chaotic, violent, and sweet as sweet tea on a hot southern day. Sugar, spice, everything nice, and a metric fuck tonne of Chemical X. Excuse my language.

One of the first things to really draw me into this album was the vocals. This album has a major case of split personality disorder, and I mean that in the best way possible. Vocalist Connie Sgarbossa bounces between larynx shredding highs, lows, and sasscore yelps while guitarist Ethan Sgarbossa and bassist Taylor Allen also chime in with mid ranged roars and lovesick cleans. It's enough to induce a psychotic episode, or at the very least give listeners with ADHD enough variance in frequency and delivery to keep them stimulated. The vocal patterns are impressively synchronized, and you can tell that a lot of thought goes into this aspect of their music. It's something I wish more bands would take note of, but maybe that's just my addled attention span speaking. There are some pretty cool, albeit head turning features on this album as well. Shaolin G's rap verse on "Sharpen What You Can" in particular has been polarizing, but ends up being one of the more impactful and (frankly) punk rock moments on the album as he comes in with a strong message of self affirmation and being true to yourself in the face of adversity.

The instrumentals don't hold back either, and come well equipped with their own hyper aggressive inability to sit still. Razor sharp panic chords and time signature switch ups dance their way toward atmospheric passages before plummeting back down to earth with classic single note breakdowns. Almost every song comes packaged with a hookworm chorus or dreamy melodic bit to offer respite from the teeth clenching madness and draw you back in for repeated listens. A good hook is one that makes you really appreciate everything leading up to and preceding it, and thankfully the band delivers on this every time. SYSC doesn't just rely on a catchy chorus to sell a mediocre song. They aren't afraid to show their full hand of influences either, as they ambitiously swing between three or four different niche subgenres in rapid motion. It might sound like a recipe for disaster, but it comes across as more meticulous than random, and the result is a surprisingly smooth and cohesive experience. 13 songs and 40 minutes goes by with a flash, and not once do I feel like the band is testing my patience.

The Romance of Affliction is a time machine that will unlock forgotten pieces of your heart, but it's also a vessel of progression for a subgenre that not many are brave enough to claim in today's landscape of serious mature stoicism. SeeYouSpaceCowboy have managed to breathe fresh life into old tricks in a way that only the most studious of scene disciples could pull off, and I can't wait to see them continue to flourish and expand their palette of influences in the years to come.

[melancholy-marionette]

(I apologize for the errors, I use Google Translator to write this post) Hello, not so long ago I found out about your game "Darling Duality" and, having passed it the other day, fell in love with it! You draw amazing, and I almost really fell in love with Castor (you picked up an amazing voice for him, it's nice to listen to him). The way the atmosphere is conveyed deserves separate words. First, the calmness of the day / evening for the passage of the game, then a sweet and slightly anxious feeling during the first sleep with Castor, then embarrassment and panic fright in the cube with a slight madness (when we cut our palm) and at the very end a light comedy made me not get bored and experience emotions throughout the passage of the demo game! You write amazing music that conveys the atmosphere well! Please forgive me if my message seems strange or stupid to you, but in addition to thanking you for playing, I would like to ask a couple of questions (of course, if you don't mind):

Is it possible to ask questions about the character? I would like to learn as much as possible about Castor/Castoria, but if you can't, then I'll understand everything.

How is the development of the game progressing and when, perhaps, will we be able to see the sequel? (please forgive me if my question sounded rude. In no way am I going to be rude to you, rush you or put pressure on you)

Thank you so much for the wonderful game, and I wish you success in everything!

Hey hey! Thanks so much for all your kind words :3 I'm really glad you've enjoyed what there is of DD so far! I just wanted to let you know that I do plan to answer your questions and write you a proper reply, I just don't have time to do it at the moment because I'm really busy trying to get my project for this year's Yandere Jam done in time (the jam ends this coming Tuesday x3) I just didn't want you to think I was ignoring you or anything, so thought I'd let you know that I will answer when I can, it just might be a little while :3 Hope you have a good weekend! EDIT (to add my full answer :3)

Okay, so, hopefully I'm doing this right and you'll be able to see what I'm typing cos I don't really know how Tumblr works all that well x3

Firstly, I should probably say that, while I wish with all my heart that I could draw, I sadly cannot draw to save my life T_T haha. The art in all my games is either the result of me teaming up with amazing artists who can draw beautifully, or, me taking to GIMP and spending hours editing assets that I own to at least try and make them look somewhat unique to my projects rather than using them as they come :3

Darling Duality is the result of the second option, haha. I think it took me around 3 days to edit Castor/ia's sprites because I heavily edited colours, but I also added additional facial expressions that didn't come with the asset pack by layering parts of the face individualy, haha.

I'm glad you ended up liking Castor though ^-^ And I agree, his voice actor is incredible and the character wouldn't be the same without him!

I can also only take credit for certain music tracks within the game x3 The soundtrack is currently only partially original, and the rest of the tracks are ones I chose from various asset packs that felt like they fit well. I really enjoy making music though, so I've been trying to include more and more original tracks in my more recent projects :3

Your message doesn't seem strange or stupid at all though! I think it's extremely sweet :3 And it means a lot to me that you liked the game enough to even want to write something about it ^-^

I don't mind answering questions at all, so you're welcome to ask whatever you like :3 There might be some things that I can't say if they might contain spoilers for the story that is still to come, but I'll do my best to answer what I can.

To answer your second question, in all honesty, development is going very slowly >.< I got quite demotivated to work on the project when I found out that I might not be able to get the same voice actors back to keep playing the characters. So I ended up putting the project on hold and just working on game jams for quite a while.

The voice acting situation is still up in the air, but I am at least slowly working on the project again :3 I have a lot of writing finished that currently isn't coded into the game yet. In the next update, I'm hoping to continue a little more of Castor/ia's story, along with adding a new character to the mix as well whose route you will be able to begin.

It's a very long-term project though because I hope to add quite a few different characters over time. Because of that, my plan was to update sort of episodically, so that it doesn't take forever to release new content. Because the fully completed game will likely take me years to make >.<

As for the next update though, I can't really put a proper time on when I might be able to get it released, but I'm really hoping that it will at least be sometime later this year :3 It's just hard to say because you never know what is going to go wrong and get in the ay, haha.

Thank YOU for taking the time to check the game out and leave such kind words <3

[anzhin-the-starman]

Daily Writing Challenge: Day 3 - Mortality

[This lore is a part of Anzhin's story during the three-year peacetime after leaving the Shadowlands, sometime near the end of year three.]

TW: Depression, a quote of Foul Language/Suggestiveness, sudden Violence

A half-elf, bleary from sleep, wanders to the vanity beside his wardrobe. The growing brightness from enchanted lights is hidden by a scrim parting the room, keeping the shine from his lover still asleep in the mountains of cushions and fabrics that made his bed. On mornings like these, he looks a bit closer to his true age, especially when the glow catches the silvering strands of his hair.

'Has it really only been three years?' His thoughts whisper to him. 'Has it been three years since I lost my purpose? My job? My soul song?' He looks to one of many pictures and pieces of memory on the board on the wall cradling the vanity, the picture of Velathra and him at his last performance from three years past. 'I haven't sung with her since... We finally came up with a name for our partnership and we only used it once. She must be so disappointed in me.'

He puts a hand on his neck, looking at his sad reflection in the mirror. Even thinking to sing now makes his throat tight. Who is he? He's not a Diplomat for the Court of Night anymore, that job ended when mortals' meddling in the Shadowlands ended. He's not Starman, the singer has been silent for three long years, perhaps for forever.

Who is he? Who is Anzhin?

A half-elf that lost his meaning.

The self-loathing loop is broken by a gentle touch that gives him a start.

"Hey, babe... Are you okay?" Alathase whispers softly, draping his form over Anzhin, arms looping around the half-elf's neck. The cornsilk blond is so effortlessly pretty, petal-soft lips pressing to his boyfriend's cheek. "You look a little lost there... I'll make some tea, would you like that?"

Anzhin gives a demure nod, his voice barely above a hoarse croak. "Yes, please..."

Alathase nods in turn, slowly pulling himself away, but before he could get too far-- "What are your plans for today?" Anzhin asks, having turned and taken his hand. The Ranger smiles brightly in response. "Well, I was thinking I'd run some errands and spend some time with Evie tonight~ It's so rare our schedules actually work, you know?"

Anzhin nods, he understands. A smile even crosses his lips. Many of his partners are polyamorous themselves, and if they aren't, they understand that he himself certainly is. It's a comfort.

As Alathase disappears to the kitchen, Anzhin returns to looking at the vanity. His gaze fixes on those grey streaks again, pulling him back into the many thoughts that rattle in his mind. Such a change these simple strands bring into many of the relationships he has.

He has seen the fear in Zae'thas' gaze, the knowledge that the half-elf isn't as ageless as he is. He has also seen the so-calm sadness in Kelazen's face, understanding the passage of time, and the subtle concern in Vastherion's brow, the reminder that Anzhin is so very mortal. He's watched the panic in Allorian's face, the start of a desperate search for any sort of way to bargain with Death for him.

Jiroki's pity is rather visible to him, but he's assured himself that that is due to the trials and tribulations he's been going through to find his inner voice again while working with the Tarts.

Velathra, Velandrian, and Caythaes are rather unreadable about it, as their nature makes them nigh-immortal, and they know that anyone that isn't like them will age and die an eternity before they ever do. They are still quick to comfort him when the weight of his limited mortality bears down on him.

Aerien is indifferent to Anzhin's aging, finding it to be a rather minor detail. Alathase finds his 'graceful aging' to be especially attractive, saying, quote, "When all of this goes silver, I'm going to let you fuck me for a straight week."

It's a very wide range of emotions to deal with and comprehend. And there are still so many that he has yet to gauge a reaction from.

So, he sits. Pondering. With the help of a touch of illusion magic, he experiments. Different colors, with or without stubble, or a beard, maybe?

All ginger... It doesn't match his tired face anymore. It just looks like a man trying too desperately to cling to his youth. Away it goes.

Blond? Definitely doesn't match. Only for use with his Gremlin King costume.

He takes a breath... tries full silver. He grimaces, tinting his stubble to silver as well. It's... questionable. He tries a beard with it.

CRASH!!! The mirror shatters, a fist coated and embedded with shards of glass, the illusion gone.

Alathase rushes in with a worried noise, finding his boyfriend taking panicked breath and trembling, cradling a bloodied mess of a hand. "Ani, w-what?" He gently pulls him to stand, trying to bring him out of this shock-state. "Come on, where do you keep your first aid kit?" He could ask what happened later, once everything is calm again.

~ @daily-writing-challenge​

Mentions and Credits: Alathase Zae'thas and Kelazen @jessephantomhive​ Vastherion @danedrawn​ Allorian Jiroki @bread-elf​ Velathra and Velandrian @dragonsiblings Caythaes @mekandawn​ Aerien @thecastcompany​

[thetomorrowshow]

3, 9, 11, 17, 18, 19, 20, 25, 31, 35 and 40!

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

I write almost exclusively during class. I get away with this by pretending I am writing notes. then after class i'm so into what i'm writing that i go back to my dorm and write more even though i desperately have hw to do. i write an average of 2k words a day and my academic self cries

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

eh if a ghost turned up i wouldn't not believe in it. but i have never seen a ghost before so. i'm agnostic about ghosts ig

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

i hate doing this :(( i very rarely get rid of stuff that's extraneous to the plot just bc i love it so much, but when i do i guess i do have a graveyard? i had a prof this semester who is a writer, and he recommended having an overflow document, so if you're scared of cutting something that you might need in the future, you copy and paste it there just in case. you almost never need it but now you can feel secure getting rid of a random character.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

i have several fic wips so i will go with superpowers au!! some of this stuff will turn up! there are several religious sects across the country that believe powered individuals to be satanic. scott studied architecture in college. scott almost became a villain in college just for funsies. jimmy once dropped a really good sandwich down a drain and cried over it, and mythics happened to see and bought him a new one. jimmy also dropped that one down a drain.

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

okay so this passage is from the superpowers au as well!

“I’m scared,” he admits to Scott one evening, on their way home from the animal shelter (Scott had leapt on the idea of another cat, had enthusiastically looked up shelters and volunteered to go with Jimmy).

this is very far in the future from where we are right now in the au, but in this oneshot jimmy's been really struggling with panic attacks and flashbacks and his therapist suggests he gets a cat. this was inspired by an irl friend who was basically told the same thing and started volunteering at an animal shelter to get to know the cats and see if there was one they wanted to adopt. wanna guess what jimmy's scared about?

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

the first fanfiction i ever wrote was when i was like 5? i wrote fanfic bc my mom reads fanfic all them time and when i was a kid, she would read it to me and my siblings. she was always very supportive of my writing and was my first ever beta reader :) i started writing regularly when i was 11, to the point of bringing a notebook everywhere i went so i could write in my free time. major bump in the road was developing really bad chronic pain in my hands a few years ago. i can't really handwrite anymore and i had to make an adjustment to keyboard which was a struggle. once i got the hang of it i wasn't able to stop writing. i write all the time and i love it. i never want to stop writing.

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

probably the first tbh. like if i had eternal happiness that prolly means that i'm happy with my life in general, not just my lover. i probably finish that wip to the best of my abilities and am content with it. gotta love being happy.

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

in the superpowers au, scott has depression and handles it with medication! in the trust au, jimmy has a designated pillow to scream into for when scott does anything cute.

31. Write a short love letter to your readers.

kjkjhsakjhdjsad i love you guys so much so very much!! the superpowers au has gotten more support than anything else ive ever written (bar one fic for a previous fandom) and every day i am going FERAL over my ao3 comment section. i wake up and turn off nighttime mode and just watch the screen as i wait for the ao3 email to pop up and then i smile real hard and yeah i love u i love u i think about you all all the time

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

i will start a sentence with 'and' or 'but' all the time. i will also always put my punctuation outside of quotes mla is stupid

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

idk if this wants one that i've written or no but um the love song of j alfred prufrock is always a great one

send me a writer ask!

[cantalooprat]

One-way Passage

What I Liked

jgq novels do be hitting different 😔👌 i stan

how multilayered the title is and how it refers to so many things inside the story---how pheromones are used to express emotions and how in a b/o or a/b relationship, the pheromones are a one-way street in which the other party can't respond. how life just goes on and time passes and one can't return to the past. how everyone in the story seems to have their own "one-way passages"---ming qin's resentment towards lu wenxing, ming siyan's feelings towards lu huaiye, lu huaiye the clowned one who's just muddling along feeling like sth is wrong but can't quite put a finger on it, lu wenxing trying to reach out to ming luchuan but ming luchuan doesn't care

xia wennan is like. at first he really was kind of. nasty lmao. and like it's prob also caused by panic that he lost his memories and there's suddenly a gap of 6 years and he did things that his 20-year-old self wouldn't ever have imagined doing. but then. but then... as the story progresses... i realized that xia wennan rly is just. rude and tactless. that's just who he is. i hope ming luchuan didn't take any hard feelings bc ur wife is rly just tactless and blunt to everyone. i even felt kind of ????? when he just roasted ming qin and ming siyan near the end like xia wennan, this is not the time??? but he is just that kind of person...

ming luchuan is like the first insecure alpha i've ever seen. like i've seen gentle alphas, introverted alphas, but ming luchuan is rly the most like one of those kdrama overbearing ceo with a traumatic past. he rly is just starved for love, and def gives off the vibe that he loves xia wennan more than xia wennan loves him bc of that. but like just bc he loves xia wennan doesn't mean he takes shit from him lmao i love it whenever xia wennan does something batshit insane like pluck his eyelashes while sleeping and ming luchuan goes are you sick in the head and xia wennan apologizes and tells him he can also pluck his eyelashes and ming luchuan does it!!!! it rly does take two to tango.

at certain points in the story, i did wonder if these two would work---like obviously they're the main cp in a happy end novel so they would work, but some couples just have chemistry, y'know? and like, in a very strangely haphazard sort of way, ming luchuan and xia wennan do make a very harmonious couple. they're both kind of crazy in their own ways, and like it's v clear that they know each other's flaws but they love each other anyway... i do love jgq novels and the cp she writes.

the plot twist at the end that was kind of predictable like wow for once i managed to guess 80% of what happened!! n i felt accomplished lmao

also when xia wennan first encountered the ming family post-amnesia man i got chills like wtf i didnt sign up for a horror story it was so unsettling

What I Disliked

i wish it was longer hnnng like the main story is all covered but there r just like... side char plot threads that i wish would've been explored more. like what's up w the moze senior he guy? what about his younger bro and his fling w ming qin? would lu huaiye rekindle his relationship with the real ming siyan?

Notes

jgq never disappoints 😔👌 i binged this in basically a day

[snowdice]

Little Kestrel (Part 40) [Birds of Different Feathers Series]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Logan & Patton & Virgil (future Virgil/Patton but not in this story)

Characters:

Main: Logan, Patton, Virgil

Appear: Thomas

Mentioned: Janus

Summary:

It was supposed to be a quick job either way. Either Virgil would assassinate King Thomas of Prijaznia or he’d be caught and get executed. Yet, when Virgil gets the wrong bedroom and gets caught by Prince Logan and his future royal advisor, Patton, the job ends up getting way more complicated for the 14-year-old. He also ends up sleeping in a (actually pretty comfortable) closet for a few weeks…

Notes: Implied/referenced child abuse, assassination attempt, knives, torture mentioned, captivity, teenagers being really dumb, sexual coercion of minors implied, a minor offering sexual favors

This is a prequel to Kill Dear. I wrote it 100 words at a time on my blog, but this is the edited version. If you want to see how it was crafted (and possibly some future content), look at the tag proofread stories.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39

Thomas wasn’t sure what to do in this sort of situation. It had been three days since Logan had come to him in a panic saying that Virgil had ran off somewhere and he couldn’t find him. Apparently, the boy had been panicking and had accidentally slapped Logan before freaking out and running away. No one had seen him since, and not for lack of trying. They had searched all over the castle and the grounds, but Virgil was nowhere to be found. Thomas just hoped he was still in the castle and hadn’t tried to go outside. Winter was still raging across the land. It had been blizzarding for the past week on and off. It made Thomas and everyone else worry about the child.

Logan and Patton said he did not like the cold and had refused to go outside since snow had started to fall, so that was a point in favor of him still being in the castle somewhere. Normally, the fact that they couldn’t find him in three days despite having many people looking for him, would indicate he had left the castle, but thinking back to the hide-and-seek debacle, it was entirely likely he’d just stuffed himself in some secret passageway somewhere.

At least, that is what Thomas assured Logan to comfort him. In truth, if he was panicked enough to run from his friends for days, Thomas wasn’t sure if he was thinking rationally. Would the panic about hitting Logan overwhelm his dislike of the cold? Thomas didn’t know him well enough to know.

He sighed and rose from his desk; he’d been working on penning a letter to the Queen of Lamir to check in with her. The snow should be letting up in a couple of days long enough to get a letter out by means of carrier dove. He decided to take it to the dovecoat now and leave it with one of the handlers.

He left his office and wandered down the hallway, turning right instead of left like he normally would when he was going back to the royal wing. Instead, he took a path he didn’t often take that would lead to a staircase that let out at the door nearest the dovecoat.

As he passed through a hall with a bunch of old portraits, he suddenly remembered something from when he was young and stopped by a picture of a woman hanging across from a small bench. There was a secret passage there that he’d found when he was only 12 and had only ever shown to one other person before. It was just a room with nothing much special about it other than the fact that it was hidden away. Usually, he’d just pass it by, but today he was thinking about Virgil lost (hopefully) somewhere in the castle who liked secret passages.

It wouldn’t hurt to check one of the few secret areas Thomas knew about for signs of life, would it?

That in mind, he walked over to the painting and ran his hand along the side of it until he found a place he could push his fingers into. He pulled and the painting swung out to reveal a small door. He opened the door into a room a bit smaller than his own bedroom. Despite not having any heating elements since it was a secret room, it was still fairly warm since there were rooms around it that were heated.

Thomas reached over to fumble with the lights he’d sneakily installed when he was a child, and the space was suddenly filled with dim light.

He closed the door behind himself and stepped into the room. He glanced around for anything out of place, though it had been a while since he’d been in here. He squinted at the very limited amount of furniture and had just walked across the room to look in an old chest when he heard a noise coming from…the floor?

Thomas looked towards where the noise was coming from and was surprised to hear the sound of something sliding right before a head of dark hair popped up. Virgil lithely pulled himself out of the hole in the ground and shut it behind him.

Thomas froze. Sure, he’d come in here specifically to look for signs of Virgil, but he had not been prepared for Virgil to suddenly crawl out of the floor. He hadn’t even realized there was a second entrance to this room.

Virgil didn’t notice Thomas on the other side of the room. Thomas wasn’t sure what to do. Virgil was always quick to startle, especially around Thomas. If he said something, surely the boy would disappear back down the tunnel he’d just left.

Virgil took a few all but silent steps towards the side of the room opposite from Thomas.

Thomas was still trying to figure out what to do when Virgil suddenly stopped. He tilted his head to look up at the lights Thomas had turned on when entering the room. Then his eyes shot to Thomas.

“Uh,” Thomas said. “Hi.” Silence. “Please don’…”

Virgil turned tail and sprinted to the opposite side of the room, scaling an old bookshelf that tottered dangerously under his weight.

“… t run.”

He had the instinct to chase after him, worried that there was another entrance he’d dart through and be gone forever, but he stifled it. That would just terrify the poor thing even more.

“Uh,” Thomas said, not entirely sure he wasn’t speaking to an empty room as he could not see Virgil anymore. “It’s okay.” He paused. “Logan’s not mad. No one is. Both him and Patton are very worried though. We’d all appreciate if you came out.” He paused again and only got silence in return.

Cautiously he took a couple of steps towards the other side of the room.

“Please?” he said.

When there was again no response, he took a couple more steps towards the bookshelf until he was standing directly in front of it. He just barely managed to catch a glint of the dim room lights reflecting off a pair of dark brown eyes.

He was not just talking to an empty room then.

 “Hey there,” he said softly. The eyes disappeared immediately, but now Thomas knew they were there. “Alright.” He wished he could get someone else for this conversation, but there was no way he could leave and come back to Virgil still there. Instead, he took a seat on the ground a couple of feet away from the bookshelf. He thought for a moment. “You know, I found this place myself,” he said. “I never knew that trap door was there though. You’re pretty good at finding tunnels.” He leaned back a bit, trying to catch a glimpse of the top of the bookshelf.

“I used to keep some food here at one point, but I’m afraid even if I left anything it’d be pretty bad at this point.” Thomas thought for a moment. “I hope you’ve eaten something recently. The kitchen is open for you whenever you want food, though I’m sure Patton’s mom would like to make you something special. She’s been worried. You know how she is when people miss meals. Everyone’s been worried.”

He let it hang in silence again, and to his surprise there was just a bit of shifting from the top of the bookshelf. “Why?” Virgil’s voice asked.

“Well,” Thomas answered, “because a lot of people around here care about you.”

“I hit Logan,” he said, clearly assuming that Thomas didn’t know.

“I know,” Thomas said.

“He’s the prince,” Virgil pointed out.

“Maybe,” Thomas said, “but he’s also your friend. He cares about you more than he does about getting slapped once when you were clearly in distress. In fact, he was never mad at all about it. He was just worried about how you responded. It seems like wherever you lived before coming to the castle wasn’t the best and we were a little worried we might not see you again if you got too startled.”

“That doesn’t make sense,” Virgil said.

“It does to me,” Thomas said. “I wish it did to you.”

Silence once again greeted his words.

“Are you going to come down from there at some point?”

“I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

Thomas shrugged. “Well, I’m not going to be leaving until you do,” he said.

“So eventually the royal guards are just going to tear me down,” he concluded.

“Well, no one knows I’m here,” Thomas said. “I came on a whim. The only person I ever told about this place is already dead. I doubt they’ll find us.”

“You’re the king,” Virgil said. “You shouldn’t be somewhere that people don’t know where you are. What if…?”

“Hmm?” Thomas prompted.

“What if an assassin attacks you or something?”

“I doubt an assassin is going to come find me in this little room no one knows about but us,” Thomas said with a smile.

There was a pause. “You’re as bad as Logan with your safety,” he grumbled and Thomas just chuckled. Then, after a moment, Virgil said, “Are you really not mad that I hit your son.”

“No, Virgil,” Thomas said. “I know it was an accident. I understand.”

He didn’t respond for a long moment, and Thomas was content to wait for him to think it through for however long he needed.

“Logan really isn’t mad?” Virgil asked.

“No,” Thomas promised. “He’s not.”

And then, blessedly, he heard movement from the top of the bookshelf. Virgil slowly climbed down, and Thomas didn’t dare stand up or really move at all other than breathing.

“Ready to come out of the tunnels now?” he asked after a few minutes of stalemate while Virgil watched him like he expected Thomas to leap forward and bite him.

He nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

“Okay,” said Thomas. “Good.”

Want to read more? Click below!

Part 41

Birds of Different Feathers Master Post

My Masterpost

[bondsmagii]

I picked up a copy (2nd edition with color and all) of House of Leaves at work today, and I just started reading it! Ngl, I did flip ahead and saw the formatting of some pages, which is what really sold it to me, in addition to your posts, being egged on by my coworker and boss when I asked if we had it in stock, and finding out that a recent grad at my uni did their thesis on this book. I plan to read this regardless, but I'm also realizing that this may end up being super close to my/my families experiences growing up, and I was curious if I could get a heads up?

I am still terrified of the dark, and have never slept in a pitch dark room in my 20 years of life because I panic so badly. Both my brother and I have had vivid and gory nightmares from a young age for unknown reasons (I still get them when I think of home; they feel more real than here when I wake up and often the pain lingers too). Also the walls of our house used to bleed, the walls would crack because the house would move and then settle back to close the cracks up due to a support beam loosening and tightening in a wall, even after the wall was taken down and the beam thing welded into place). And my brother and I share the same fear of a man who sits in the corner of our room growing up and watched us (my dad had the same belief as a kid when he grew up in the same house). And there were some incidents with magnets and time.

Now I do have some issues but I am Not Psychotic (yet), for what it's worth, but I was wondering if I could get a heads up how close to home this book might hit? I'll probably read it regardless, but there seems like a chance it might make life feel a little less real in specific ways that I'm concerned about already. If you don't wanna that's cool too, I respect that. I am really excited to read this though as everything about it seems like my kind of book

god, the book is so, so good. I'd definitely encourage giving it a go if you can! overall, the book isn't straightforwardly scary, like, it's not like what you'd expect from a standard horror book. but, it does deal a lot with existential threat/questions, and it is a meta book -- as in, it professes to exist as it does in its own universe, in this universe. Johnny Truant, the in-universe editor, is convinced that the threat can spread to readers simply from viewing the material. there's a lot of him speaking directly to you, warning you about the dangers of reading the book, and there's a lot of very evocative writing about his own descent into madness and the potential threats to you (including passages where he tells you to imagine things, or tries to convince you that something is lurking behind you -- a passage that myself and many others have been physically affected by).

it definitely makes life feel a bit weird. that's a big part of reading it, and pretty much everyone I've ever known or spoken to has this experience. it does stick with you, and it does linger, and it does make everything seem strange. I found this to be pleasant -- I love it when books do that -- but it might be something that you want to look out for. to be honest, for all I talk about the uselessness of the 'unreality' tag, House of Leaves is something I would use as a brilliant example of something that is actually dealing with unreality.

in terms of House Terror, I don't think it should hit too close to home for you. it's not a haunting. the house itself is an existential impossibility, filled with inconsistent measurements and an entire ever-changing labyrinth. there is a lot of emphasis on the dark, though, and detailed descriptions of characters in completely dark spaces. one of the characters, Karen, is also severely claustrophobic, so there's detailed descriptions of dark/enclosed space-triggered panic attacks, if that's something that might bother you. there are also detailed descriptions of vivid nightmares, and especially in Johnny's sections, there's some more straightforward monster horror as well. in terms of the kind of thing you've experienced, though, I think the closest you'd come would be the moving walls. even so, this house in the book is so far outside such comparatively minor movements that I don't think you'd really see it on the same scale at all.

I hope this helps! if you have any further questions let me know, because this is a great book and I'd love if you could get to read it. if anything gets a little too close, don't be afraid to hit me up and I'll give you a summary so you can skip the part and read on if you want.

[bittermachine]

AO3 wrapped questions: 10, 11, 27 (if any!), 28, and 29? Also since you tend to work in Chinese and translate, I've got a bonus question: are there any particular lines you've written that you feel work significantly better in the original Chinese due to linguistic/cultural nuance or connotations?

What work was the quickest to write?

Arrivals (ZhongChiBai) and just a bit of rain (Chaeya) was definitely the quickest to write, because both of them had only one scene that needs to be written, and I had a clear image of what I wanted to write for them. I usually start off with one key moment or dialogue that I want to highlight in single scene fics, so most of the work is just building up to that and then wrapping it up. I do always feel like I'm cheating my readers a little when I put out something that's only about 1k words in total.

What work took you the longest to write?

sink, or learn to swim (Luckae) was emotionally hard to get through even while I was plotting it, so it was harder still to put it down in words! There's a lot going on in the story as a whole, with Kaeya and Diluc individually as well as together, and I had a really hard time deciding what parts to keep and what parts to show without sidetracking too hard. There were a lot of changes to plot as well too: the only solid plan I had when coming up with it was really just the opening line and the ending, so bridging these two parts (especially after Diluc burned that all up) was really tough. Not to mention that the manner in which gender as a subject is treated is rather personal to me as well, and then I had a bit of a panic because it was meant for an exchange and I have no idea how it would be received, or if I should just scrap the whole thing and write something fluffy instead. All in all, I'm glad that turned out well. I read the fic now and have no idea how I managed all that lol.

What do you listen to while writing?

I generally listen to videos on cafe music BGM channel on YT, or guqin music. Sometimes I also listen to the entry plug sound for hours. But if I'm working through a particularly difficult scene, I prefer silence because I want to hear how the sentence sounds in my head.

If I'm really lucky, I might find a couple of songs that fit the mood of the fic! When I feel like I'm going off on the wrong tangent, I might listen to that to get back into the mood of things.

As a huge fan of Ghostly Kisses and X Ambassadors, their songs do show up regularly on the roster as well.

Favorite work you wrote this year?

I want to say sink, or learn to swim, but it's probably going to be bind (rezhong/zhongxiao). The EGGS. I really thought I was completely in over my head when working on it... I kept thinking oh my god how do I even approach... the eggs... without cracking up. How do I write it so it reads less like a chicken giving birth to my breakfast and more sexy connotations... I lost so much hair to this fic. T H T I'm extremely pleased with how it turned out in the end though. I actually enjoy reading through it myself... after I got over my embarrassment of the whole oviposition thing.

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

Now, there’s nowhere left for Morax to run.

The fic this line is from will be published sometime next year, so I'm looking forward to when that happens. I'm just tickled by the idea of bullying Morax. Otherwise, I'm really fond of this one as well:

“You’ve been staying for far too long within the harbour,” Zhongli murmurs, catching him by the chin and not letting him pull away. Even now, he can pick up on the ebb and flow of Baizhu’s own waning power, severed at the roots from his original place of birth, a haemorrhaging wound that will bleed for the rest of his life. “Drink, or we will leave for Mt. Aocang tomorrow.”

Baizhu my beloved.

Are there any particular lines you've written that you feel work significantly better in the original Chinese due to linguistic/cultural nuance or connotations?

Lots of them! Off the top of my head, 小哥哥 is always a hard one to translate and I often have to substitute with something else completely because there's simply no word for it in English. There are also sayings that are elegantly succinct in Chinese but ends up too long winded when translated into English.

Once I've tried to write a dialogue line where they say 撒嬌也沒用, but there's no translation for 撒嬌, and acting spoiled carries the wrong nuance, so I'll end up rewording it. So where 撒嬌 is an action, and the original is doing (action) won't work on me, I have to work the previous line to show what their intentions are, and to change the dialogue to be a response to that (e.g you know that's not going to work on me).

In the latest bit that I've posted on tumblr for ZhongChiBai, there's a line that I used where Baizhu complains about Zhongli always spoiling/indulging Childe in his habits (就你慣著他) and he says it back to Baizhu (我一樣慣著你). 慣 comes from 習慣 (habit), and essentially 慣著 means to allow someone to continually get away with something that they're making a habit of. In this scenario, words like indulge and coddle wouldn't really be the right vibe. Spoil cuts close but I'm still iffy about it.

Sometimes, inclusion of certain words / synonyms in Chinese can bring across tone that hints at character personality, such as the differences in how Zhongli VS an NPC speaks where the NPC tends to use 白話 (vernacular). A lot of this is lost when lines are transferred into English, so I end up leaning on physical actions to make up for it.

I'm not sure if it's obvious, but 春月宫 (ZhongChiBai) and all its related pieces have this problem. A lot of their dialogue simply wouldn't work... there's this riddle too:

“ A month and a day, but not today . Guess a word .” Oblivious to their exchange, Baizhu held the slip of paper up to the flickering candle light and read the riddle written on it aloud to Zhongli. “Interesting. What do you think, Tartaglia?”

“Uh. Yesterday?” Tartaglia flushed pink when Zhongli began to laugh. “The day before? I’m sorry. Please pardon my ignorance.”

The original riddle would be: 一月一日非今天 So based on 非今天 (not today), Tartaglia's follow up would be 呃......不是今天的話, 那就是昨天？前天？, and instead of "I’m sorry. Please pardon my ignorance.", the original line is 是臣妾無知，讓陛下見笑了. (This concubine is ignorant, I've made a fool of myself.) but it doesn't sound natural at all and the sudden switch into third person reference is going to give everyone whiplash.

There are also several nsfw fics where I originally intended for Childe to tell Zhongli or some other 我怕疼. (directly translated to I'm scared of pain), which comes off as half-confession and half-plea, but uh it's definitely not the same line as "I'm scared of pain". Might just end up reworking it to "I... what if it hurts?". I can't even use the 怕疼的孩子 phrase smh because it'll end up losing the fond affection meaning when translated. T H T

I really enjoyed answering these questions, especially the last one (sorry for making it so long though I think I've just been too cooped up about it). Thank you for sending this in!

[hotshot9]

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end If you want to :)

You send me writer ask 🥺💜😭🥺💜😭🥺💜🥺😭

First, I wanna say that this made me reread several of my fics and I'm sitting here 1) making high-pitched "oh my god they're so cute" noises at Sana and Wolffe and 2) rather impressed with some of the things I've written 😆

Secondly, this is probably a bit more than a passage 😅 But it's got an actual backstory and an actually documented change!

The fic this came from is called simply Ow.

Lights totally off, curtains pulled tightly shut against the bright Yavin sun, the quiet shush of a fan blowing cool air across his back, Wolffe pressed the right side of his face deeper into the pillow with a groan. The pain lancing through his eye socket lessened and he sighed at the momentary relief. But then the door slid open with a soft whoosh and a narrow strip of light beamed across the dark room, making Wolffe wince away and tuck his head further into his nest of pillows. As suddenly as it came, the beam of light cut off when the door slid back shut. The quiet shuffle of footsteps crossed the room, coming to a stop next to the bed as the side of the mattress dipped down and a cool hand gently rested on the back of his neck.

“Wolffe? Cyare? Sinker commed and said you’d gotten a migraine and gone to lay down. How are you feeling?” Sana pitched her voice low and soothing, her thumb rubbing gentle circles on the skin of his neck.

Wolffe shifted so he could peer blearily up at her with his left eye, keeping the cybernetic one squashed firmly against the pillow. “Like sticking an ice pick through my temple would hurt less,” he grumbled.

Sana smiled fondly at him. “That wouldn’t be the best idea you’ve ever had, my love. Have you taken the medicine Kix gave you?”

“Not yet,” Wolffe answered, face crumpling as pain shot through his head again.

So the inspiration for this particular piece came from my own experiences. I suffer from migraines and have several a year. I figured, since Wolffe has a cybernetic eye, he might also suffer from migraines because of the tech connecting to his optic nerve (and maybe not being the best tech because, you know, the GAR), so it just kinda worked it's way into my headcanons.

I used a lot of my own experiences here - the quiet, dark, cool set up of the room, the squishing half your face into a pillow, the not taking your meds immediately because you just blindly flail your way to someplace you can lay down... And the ice pick comment is something I have actually said nearly every time I get a migraine 😂

And it is, of course, always very nice when someone comes in and tries to soothe some of the pain away and makes sure you take your medicine.

But the change from start to finish of this is - initially I was going to do this from Sana's point of view. I had a piece started called Code Grey where Sinker comms her while she's in a meeting that Wolffe has a migraine but - it just never felt right. So I abandoned it. Until one day I had another migraine and the lightbulb clicked on - I needed to write from Wolffe's pov. From the viewpoint I knew and had experience with. Anyway, under the cut is what I had written of Code Grey before I (rightly) abandoned it.

Thank you so much for the ask!!!! I could go on for days about my writing 😅 so writer and OC asks literally make my day!

Hey, D! I didn't remember it before, but you're in this one! I had your character as the medic when I first tried writing this 😊

"So I think - " Sana was finishing a report to General Orin and Marshall Commander Bengi when the crackle of her comm cut her off.

"Sana? Ori'vod?" The slight panic in Sinker's voice came through even over a burst of static.

She frowned and looked to the General for permission to answer. Orin nodded.

"Sinker? I'm in the middle of a briefing. What's going on?"

"Code Grey," he answered, his tone clipped and serious.

Sana put a hand to her forehead. "Oh, Force. Did he at least take the medicine D2 prescribed him?"

Makes me want to go back and change Ow to have D2 as the medic there, too 💜 (although I bet I can guess your response to that idea 😏)

Thank you again for the ask! I loved it 😁

[blorbosexterminator]

Hi, how you doing? 😊

Okay, so this question has been bugging me for a long time :

Now, Elena is a 10yo but what happens when she gets her period or smth when she's 12? (cause I am pretty sure Mint Heist wont happen until they're 16 or at least 14. Sergio isn't that heartless to include babies in the heist)

Would it be Martin explaining her all of that? Or would it be Andres? Or would those misogynistic bastard would just thrust her in some nun's arms, if they live at the monastery or a lovely woman, who would be their neighbour's if they're living at Martin's Buenos Aires home, arms?

Also, if its one of those 2 psychos explaining it all to her, can you PLEASE write a fic or a snippet for that?

I wanna know their reactions when they have to discuss.... "woman stuff" (derogatory)

Hey, Kal!

I'm glad you came to me with it because I do actually have this scenario in mind! I've "known" how Elena's period thing would go for a long while. (and yes! The mint won't happen until the kids are 17 actually) BUT the period thing still has Sergio in it.

So what happens is, Gabriel and Elena spend a couple of weeks at Sergio's every few months while berlermo travel, either for tge 263738th reenactment of their honeymoon, or for certain preparations/robberies that they don't want the kids on. It happens frequently enough that even if they aren't travelling, the occasional week or two weeks at Sergio becomes a stable thing in their lives, him being literally their only relevant lol and his place honestly turns into the 'grandparents' house' for the children.

ANYWAY, Elena gets her period for the first time on one of those occasions and it doesn't go That dramatically. Sergio catches on it pretty quickly when he hears her shuffling trying to wash her bedsheets at 6 in the morning, as stupidly as any 12 year old would go at it lmfao. She does panic because no one has talked to her about it but Elena's default emotion when she's not sure what's happening is "guilt' and 'I'm definitely to blame for this' so she goes about trying to wash the sheets while she's bleeding, unaware of what is even happening, as though she's cleaning up for a murder she commited.

Sergio realizes quickly enough what's going on without having to ask her (or her realizing he's watching her) and just drives to the store and buys some tampon and pad packs. He hands them to her with a poker face averting her eyes, without saying anything LMFAO. Then while she's in the bathroom, he quotes complete passages of The Female Anatomy textbook loudly at her from the other side of the door She contemplates drowning herself in the shower. But Sergio, awkward and smartly says exactly sufficiently enough to not prolong the moment. When she comes out, he just hands her the book and makes her a mug of hot chocolate served with a painkiller, and leaves her be. Which is more of Elena's method like Serguo and she's grateful for lmfao. The moment passes, all is good.

Flashforward a month later when Elena is back with her parents, neither her nor Sergio having said a word on the matter, berlermo think this is the first time she gets her period and RUSH into their horrible joint speech, so what you have in mind does end up happening lmfao. (they keep interuppting Elena when she first tries to explain that she knows but half-way through it she moves from her intital 'this is the worst moment in my life' moment and actually enjoys their awkwardness and torments them further by keep acting more ignorant and forcing them to incorrectly explain (derogatory) all of it until the end.

Love that idea! I think I've pretty much told you the content of the entire thing though haha.