#The tragedy is that he realizes this way too late.

[etherial-moon-blog]

What could have been

Description- When reader discovers Lo’ak kissing Tisreya, she is left heartbroken and a shell of her former self. With some help from Neteyam, she slowly picks up the pieces of her broken heart. As time goes on Neteyam considers her more than just a friend but is unable to tell her before tragedy strikes, leaving him heartbroken and devastated. Strangely, he finds that his brother is going through the same ordeal and they both find solace in wondering what could've been.

Pairing: Lo’ak x Avatar!Reader | Neteyam x Avatar!Reader Warnings: Angst Crying, Brief mentions of depression  Wordcount: 2k

Na’vi dictionary: Mauri- woven hut | Tweng- loincloth

All characters depicted in this fic at 18+ minors dni

“...I see you.” When those words left her mouth, you felt your heart shatter. However, the next thing that happened ground those pieces into dust. Lo’ak leaned down and pressed his lips against Tsireya’s. The lips you had fantasized about pressing against yours were currently pressed against another girl. 

Slowly, you back out of your hiding spot and hurriedly leave the area, hand covering your mouth so that a sob doesn't slip out. That night you don’t return to the Sully mauri until late. You spent most of the night on a secluded part of the beach crying out your broken heart.

 It truly was broken, wasn’t it? Thoughts swirled around in your brain making your heart hurt worse than it already was. It was your fault. You should’ve confessed to him sooner, maybe if you had only confessed to him back in the forest, your heart wouldn't be laying shattered in your chest. 

It felt silly in a way, pining for a boy that you never thought you’d have a chance with. You loved him when you were still human and your love never changed when you became a Na’vi. You thought that your new boy would have him see you as more than his sister's best friend or as his best friend's sister. But it seemed he only saw you for what you were…..his friend. And despite your yearning to be more, the realization that he never saw you as anything more than that broke you. 

You cry for what feels like hours, exhausting your tears until you can’t anymore. Looking up from where you were crying into your legs, you see the sun has long since set. Wiping your face, you stand and make your way back to the mauri, silently hoping that nobody looked too hard at your face when you arrived. 

Making your way onto the woven pathway, your body robotically carries you toward the Sully mauri. Your hopes of going unnoticed were smashed into pieces when you see Jake, waiting at the entrance for you. A small sigh passes your lips as you near, ready to hear the lecture he was bound to give you.

“(y/n) Where have you been? We’ve been looking for you since dinner.” His tone is harsh but you can hear the undercurrent of worry in his words. Judging by how he sounded you knew you’d been out longer than you thought and had missed dinner. 

Gripping the strap of your bag anxiously, you only mumble out an apology while not looking at him. Unfortunately, Jake is too observant and notices your tear-streaked face and slightly red eyes. He sighs and pulls you into a hug. 

“Listen, I know it's hard having to leave behind everything especially when you’re doing it in a new body. But I swear it gets easier and in time you’ll adjust and then you’ll wonder how you ever lived differently.”

Right, he assumed you were crying because of your not being able to adjust to your new body which while true to an extent, wasn't the cause of your tears. Not wanting to admit what happened, you half-heartedly return the hug that Jake gives in earnest. He pulls away and gives you a small smile while rubbing your arms before releasing you to go inside. 

As you walk in you notice that everyone aside from Tuk is still awake. It made you feel worse honestly. Knowing that you caused everyone to worry about you so much that they stayed up to look for you. Kiri is the first to greet you at the door and presents you with food she saved for you. 

“Saved you some food, I figured you’d be hungry,” Kiri says. The sympathetic and concerned look she's giving you lets you know that she knows something is wrong but isn't willing to press it. Thankful and aware of the eyes on you, you take the food and make your way over to your little corner of the pod. If anybody wants to say something to you they don't, instead opting to get themselves ready for bed. You pick at the food, only taking small bites before setting it aside and getting ready for bed yourself. 

Kiri watched as you laid your mat closer to hers instead of being near her brother like usual. Though she didn’t say anything, the cogs in her brain were slowly turning and as she watched you lay down, she couldn’t help but notice your body shaking slightly.

~ Some time later~

The days blurred together as you went about your life on the island. You spent as little time as possible around Lo’ak and Tisreya. Despite your best efforts, every interaction you saw of the two drove the knife deeper, and not wanting to let your heartbreak known you decide the best way is to avoid them. 

Being around them when you had to was torture. Every interaction they had you noticed the subtle ways he showed his affection for her. You saw how much more touchy he was with her. He was always physically affectionate, always standing close or having his arm wrapped around your shoulders but with her it was different. 

With her, his touch was gentler, more affectionate. Whenever he hugged her he would linger as though he was basking in the warmth of her hug and it stung. You tear your eyes away from the scene in front of you and stand suddenly, causing everyone to look at you.

“You good bro?” Lo’ak asks as he and everyone else watches you grab your bag and pull it over your head. 

“M’fine. I have to go.” You mumble before quickly making your exit from where the group was sitting, tears forming in your eyes. You quickly make your way towards your secluded spot on the beach and immediately plop behind the first rock you see. 

The tears now flow freely as sobs begin to rack your body. You wanted to scream, but nothing would come out but the strangled sounds of your despair. You were crying so hard and so loudly that you barely heard the footsteps approaching and it wasn’t until you felt a hand on your shoulder that you realized someone else was there.

You nearly jumped out of your skin once the hand made contact with you. Jumping away, you furiously wipe at your eyes until you realize that you know who touched you. 

“N-Neteyam…what are you doing here?” Your voice was very obviously hoarse and it cracked as you spoke, causing you to wince. 

Neteyam, hands held up in surrender and brow furrowed began to speak. “When you took off I followed you to make sure you were okay. When I heard you crying I knew you weren’t okay. What’s going on? What happened back there?” 

You swallow thickly. Somebody had finally caught you crying and it was Neteyam of all people. He wouldn’t leave you alone until he was sure you were alright which is the last thing you wanted right now.

“I-I….” What were you supposed to say? ‘Hey, you caught me crying over your brother. He didn’t reject me, I was just too chickenshit to actually confess and now the sight of him and Tisreya makes me want to peel my own skin off and scream until I’m hoarse. Don’t worry tho I’m fine.’ 

Wiping your eyes again you swallow once more and begin to talk. “I’m sorry I just…I really miss Spider and Home. It’s been hard adjusting to Spider going missing, getting a new body, and moving in such a short time span.” Okay, you just lied to him. Not everything you said was a lie but you weren’t going to tell Neteyam you were crying over his brother. 

“Do you…would you like to talk about it?” He asks hesitantly. He’s trying his best to comfort you and despite lying to him just now, you feel the need to convince him you’re alright. 

“Thanks but no thanks. I really don’t wanna talk about it. The crying was my way of getting it all out you know?” Neteyam nodded as you spoke, seemingly understanding your desire to cry it out instead of talking about it.

He outstretches his hand and gently places it on your shoulder. “If you want, you could cry if you need to now.” He seems to have a sudden realization and quickly removes his hand before adding, “I-if you want to that is”

Your hand flies to your mouth and you turn from him. He sees your shoulders shaking and begins to panic. He begins to rapidly throw out apologies and words of affirmation until he hears your stifled laughter and calms. 

It takes a moment for you to fully calm down but when you do, you turn to him, hand still covering your mouth. 

“I’m sorry, I swear I’m not laughing at what you said…” A giggle slips out. “...just how you said it. Who knew the great Neteyam Sully was so awkward?” You say with a smile.

Neteyam cracks a smile and shakes his head. “You caught me. I’m not great at everything, just at most things.” 

You let out a faux scandalized gasp and Neteyam laughs in response. “I know right? Kinda shocking that I’m not the best at comforting people who aren't eight.”

With a laugh, you shove him playfully. “I don’t know, I think you’re doing a decent enough job.”

“Only okay? My pride is hurt” He says placing a hand over his heart as he attempts to sound hurt. 

“You’re doing a decent job. I don’t wanna give you an ego” You say as you turn to look at the ocean. If Neteyam wants to say something he doesn’t, instead option to let the conversation lull into a comfortable silence. After a few moments you reach over to your bag and pull out your well-worn journal, you flip until you find a blank page and begin to sketch. 

Neteyam, curious leans over but you lean away from him as he tries to peek. “Uh uh. No peeking, don’t you know it's bad luck to watch an artist draw?’ You say with a smile. He gives you a look but does as you ask, instead looking out at the vast expanse of the ocean in the light of the evening sun. 

After what feels like forever, you nudge him gently, journal turned towards him. “I’m not the best but I think I captured it well no?” Neteyam takes the journal from your hands and looks at the drawing in awe. In front of his eyes laid a perfect sketch of…him. You had gotten everything correct. His nose, his eyes, everything right down to how his braids sat over his shoulder. As he sat in awe of your drawing, you shifted a bit from your spot in the sand.

“I know it isn't the best bu..” As you were speaking you were cut off by Neteyam

“Sorry, this is just amazing. I can’t believe you drew this of me” The amazement and wonder in his voice caused a smile to spread across your face. You turn your journal back around and begin to tear the page out and once you're done you hold it out for him to take. 

He stares at your hand holding the drawing before shaking his head. “No. No, I can’t take this.” He says pushing your hand back. “Dude c’mon you have to take it, I’ve already ripped the page out so I can’t put it back.��� You shake the page in his direction. “Take it” He wordlessly takes the page from you, admiring it one last time before folding it neatly and tucking it away into the waterproof pouch on his tweng. 

He gives you a small smile before looking out into the direction of the sea. “We should probably get going, dinner is starting soon and we don’t want to be late.” He stands and dusts himself off before offering you a hand.”

“Actually I think I’ll stay here for a little while longer, but I’ll be there soon.” You give him a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes. If he notices he doesn't say anything and gives you a smile and a nod before walking back towards the village. 

As soon as he’s out of earshot, you heave a heavy sigh and put away your sketchbook. You pull your knees up to your chest and rest your chin atop your knees. Looking out onto the open ocean, you can’t help but wonder what your life could've been if you had confessed earlier……..

Authors Note: This fic is part one of a two part fic. That might change later but it depends on how motivated I am to write lol. If you made it this far I hope you enjoyed! :) Dividers by cafekitsune

Taglist: @melllinaa @fev0ir @iaratezaewa @hotdsworld @zaddyskye69 @kasai-https @darktyrantwinner @doctorswife221b @atxxokirina @iameatingmyhair @thepineapplesimp @lo707 @lyra997 @shadydreamlanddetective @atokirina-writings @plooto @luvv4j4ybe11 @xylianasblog @criticallybella

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Bare skin, bare feelings.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[entamewitchlulu]

ok so i was pretty let down by the way the anime adaptation ended and I haven't caught up to the manga (and also it's still going?? so i don't know exactly what the plan is there so like take whatever i'm about to say with a huge grain of salt)

anyway. suicide mention tw

but anyway I was thinking about moriarty the patriot again and about how when you really think about it, William's "brilliant" plan to change British society is actually really.....childish. The idea that if he puts the corruption of the world on blast, and then becomes the image of that corruption to force everyone to unite against him and thus make the world change....it's so tragically childish. It's the dream of a child, and in fact it's the plan he's had since he was a child. A belief that he can change the world through becoming the villain is genuinely not actionable. Whatever he might accomplish through it wouldn't be lasting.

In the end the simple fact is that William is....pretty deeply suicidal. He genuinely doesn't believe there's a place for him in the world and the only way he can fix it so that the people he loves can have a better world is if he dies.

He's a brilliant man, no one's arguing that. He truly can pull off the perfect crimes that often do make things better for everyone through very violent means.

But i think that just solidifies the idea in his head that the only way to make lasting change is through violence, and because of his various childhood traumas piled on top of the way the world keeps confirming his biases, he genuinely does not realize that his plan is honestly, very very stupid, and predicated on a deep, unexamined belief in his own inherent worthlessness.

He believes that there is evil in the world and the only way to get rid of it is through violence, and he believes that because of his actions he has become that same evil and must, therefore, be removed just like he has removed everyone else.

But it's shortsighted. It's always been shortsighted. He can't save the world by killing himself.

And it's just so fucking tragic.

[gazelessmenagerie]

( I cannot decide if I hate or love the fact some of these assholes are some of the most terrifying existences in their respective places. In particular when I binge watch some horror stories and think how that’d apply to some muses or the nature of deaths. )

[235uranium]

I do get why ppl can be iffy on wakaba playing an active role in akechi becoming shido's hitman but I really just. it does not make sense for her to have no role?

she canonically worked for shido. she also knew that shido is the type of person to kill anyone who's lost their use. she directly told sojiro she'd die in an unusual way. sojiro also worked with shido and says that he fled out of fear for his and futaba's lives.

shido directly says he would've thought akechi was insane if he didn't know about cognitive psience. but also, how the fuck did akechi even get a meeting?? what did akechi say that made him connect the metaverse to wakaba's research????

it would make more sense for akechi to go thru wakaba, bc while akechi's plan is uh. definitely written by a pissed off kid! he isn't stupid and would know shido of all people wouldn't take some random kid seriously

and then there's featherman seeker which. they made a deliberate choice to have the scientist in the game use wakaba's speech patterns + reference shido's shadow.

idk man. it does suck for futaba bc it makes the events around her mother's murder so, so complicated. but at the same time.

tho I'll also say if they can make you sympathize so strongly with maruki I think they could do smth similar with wakaba if the events leading up to her murder are ever shown. having her be both horrifically complicit in shido using akechi and the only thing standing between akechi and even Worse abuse is the kind of morally gray dilemma I eat up

[kiss-inthekitchen]

same sky | spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid x reader

a late night phone call with Spencer. unruly amounts of fluff. no gender identifiers in this one. apologies to residents of las vegas, i did insult your city's aesthetics. i had to do it. for the plot

word count: 2k

notes: this is a rework of a very old fic i used to have up on ao3 by the same name. it's the second in a series of fics i've updated from my vault of oldies :) this one's for the girlies who liked the banter in no vacancy <3 oops! all banter

“I miss you,” you say into your cell phone, standing on the back porch and gazing out at the sky. It’s late, but you can’t sleep. Spencer has been gone on a case for the better part of a week, and you don’t sleep as well without him. 

“I miss you, too. But I’ll be home soon,” Spencer replies, keeping his voice low.  

“Is everyone else asleep?”

“Yeah. It’s been a long day.”

“Where are you right now?” Even though you aren’t in danger of waking anyone up, you find yourself mirroring Spencer's tone. 

“Best guess, somewhere over New Mexico.” They’ve been in the air about an hour, and given their trajectory, he’s pretty sure he’s right. Spencer is seated at the edge of the couch, his back against the arm of it and a blanket thrown over his legs, barely covering his mismatching-socked feet. 

“How come you’re still up?”

“I wanted to talk to you,” he says. Somehow, he can feel you smiling across the line. It makes him smile, too. He doesn’t ask why you’re awake when it’s even later where you are; he knows already. "What are you doing?”

“Looking up at the stars.”

“You know, you won’t be able to see me up here.”

“Ha ha.”

“Here, I’ll open the shade on the plane window. At least we can share the same view.”

“Hm. Almost like we’re together,” you hum. 

His heart aches. It’s only been a few days and he still can’t stand it. “Almost.”

For a minute, neither of you speak, looking out at the sky from two different time zones.

“When I wake up tomorrow morning, you’ll be here, right?” 

“Mmhm. Maybe even before that,” he responds, a low, soothing hum in your ear.

“Should I stay up until you get here?” you already know what he'll say, but you kinda like the idea of it anyway.

“No, no, it’s at least another four hours. Don’t worry about it. When you wake up, I’ll be there.”

“Sounds good. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

You’d intended to let him go after just a quick call once you realized that the rest of the team were resting not too far from him, but you don’t want to hang up. He doesn’t make any moves to do so either, wanting to hear your voice as much as you want to hear his. “So, how was Tucson?”

“Oh, you know. Hot. Desert-y. Lots of murder.”

“Less murder now.” 

“Yeah.” 

His voice sounds strained. He doesn’t like indulging in a sense of accomplishment after closing a case, doesn’t ever feel like he’s done enough. He shows up too late and does too little, and then he gets to leave while the families of the victims have to pick up the pieces. You understand why he doesn’t like to think about the work that way, but you’ve tried to remind him that the good he does is incalculable; how many lives saved, how many tragedies avoided. It’s all you can do. 

You pivot a little, not wanting him to get too caught up. “I remember, when I first moved to Virginia, I was so shocked at how green everything was. I swore I’d never seen that much green in my life.”

“I had a similar experience,” he says, fondly, aware of your tactics. 

“Oh, I can only imagine. I’ve been to Vegas. It’s icky.”

“Icky?” he asks, laughing at your word choice. 

“I mean, no offense, but… it’s kinda ugly.”

“Wow, okay, insult my hometown, why don’t you.”

You laugh. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. You’re right.”

“I know,” you sigh. “Always am.”

“Well, statistically, you actually have a seventy-two percent chance of being right, which is still impressive, but hardly a flawless track record.”

“Spencer Reid coming in hot with the stats. I love when you talk numbers to me.” 

“I don’t think we’d have gotten very far if you didn’t.” 

“But I think I should be right more often than that.” 

“Are you asking me to fudge the numbers?” he asks with put-upon shock. 

“I’m just saying, maybe you’ve got it wrong.” 

“Oh, so you dare to challenge the accuracy of my eidetic memory? Or is it the statistics that you think I’ve calculated incorrectly?” 

“This is affecting my score, isn’t it?” 

“I’ll have to factor it in. You understand.” 

You giggle, and Spencer starts to feel some warmth come back into him after too many days of stress, doubt, and destruction. He hadn’t been able to talk to you nearly as much as he wanted. And it was hard to talk to you on certain cases, to allow you to make him feel lighter when reality was so dark. When he felt so much weight on his shoulders, when he should be focusing on the profile and apprehending the unsub and… sometimes he just didn’t feel like he deserved to have that weight lifted by you, even for a little while. 

“Spence?” 

“Will you go inside?” he asks, his tone full of something like reverence for you. “Please?”

“If you insist,” you sigh, already opening the door. 

“I do. I do insist, very forcefully.” 

“I’m already inside with the door locked.” 

“Man, I’m good.” 

“Mmhm.”

“Going to bed?”

“Yeah. Will you talk to me for a few more minutes?” you ask, sliding under the covers. Spencer hears the slip of fabric as you pull them up over your shoulders, and it sharpens the ache he feels to be home with you already. 

“I’ll talk to you for the rest of the night, if you want me to.” 

“No, I don’t wanna keep you awake, too.” 

“I probably won’t get much sleep regardless.” 

“I don’t condone that,” you say, your frown evident in your voice. 

“Noted,” he replies, though he sounds apologetic. 

Four hours feels an eternity too long to wait. You miss Spencer, and you hate how tired he sounds. You want to fix things for him. You want to run your fingers through his hair til he falls asleep and you want to make sure his dreams are peaceful when he does. 

“What do you wanna do when you’re back?” you ask, hoping that planning for it will make the time go faster. 

“Oh, I’m taking a shower and getting right into bed. And you can’t make me get up.” 

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“I’m serious. Don’t ask me to do a single other thing cause I won’t do it.” 

You laugh. “For the whole day?” 

“Probably. And you better not go anywhere either. We could both use the rest.” 

“Okay, rest day all day.�� 

“We can order Thai though. So we’ll get up for that. But even then, it’s just to sit on the couch.” 

“Maybe the floor.” 

“I will also accept floor,” he concedes, and then it occurs to him that you might’ve been asking because you want to do something with him. “Is there something you wanted to do the next day though?” 

“Well... the saucer magnolias are blooming at the Smithsonian again.” 

“Say no more.” 

You sigh wistfully. “You’re my favorite boyfriend I’ve ever had.” 

“Well, I should hope so,” he says, smiling. “You’re my favorite, too.” 

“Aren’t I the only partner you’ve ever had?” 

“Ha ha. I had a girlfriend in college.” 

“Spencer, you were like sixteen in college.”

“I wasn’t sixteen the entire time,” you hear the eye roll in his voice, “I have three PhD’s, it took me a little while.” 

“Well, who is this girl? Do I need to beat her up?” you joke. 

“No,” he laughs. “You are my favorite, after all. She wasn’t very nice to me.” 

“Okay… so you told me not to beat her up but then gave a reason why I should?” 

“Please don’t beat up my ex-girlfriend. I do appreciate your violent impulses though.” 

“Mm, okay. As long as you know I could.” 

“Sure, angel. You’re very scary,” he placates. 

You let out a little gremlin laugh. 

“Oh, and you’re delirious,” he notes, an amused lilt to his tone. 

“Delirious because I miss you,” you sing, dragging out the ‘you’. 

“God, where did I even find a weirdo like you,” Spencer laughs. 

“I found you. You attracted me with your peculiar aura and soulful eyes. Trapped me in your… fucking what’s-it-called. Tractor beam.” 

“You know, the term tractor beam was actually coined by science fiction author E.E. Smith in 1931 as an updated version of his original term ‘attractor beam.’” 

“Hmm, yup. You caught me in that.” 

“Did you call my eyes soulful?” he asks, seemingly just processing that part. 

“Oh, you don’t like my adjective choice? Next you’ll have a problem with me calling your aura peculiar.” 

“I mean… I don’t know that I loved it.” 

“Here he goes fishing for compliments,” you sigh, rolling over to your other side and creating a bunch of shuffling noise on the line. Spencer wrinkles his nose, holding the phone a little farther from his ear until he hears you speaking again. “Okay, your eyes are big and brown and beautiful and they contain a standard unremarkable amount of soul, and your aura is also really regular. Regular Reid, that’s what they call ya.” 

He’s frowning, you can practically see it, but he’s also fighting off an amused smile. “Well, that one started off nice, at least.” 

“God! You’re so difficult. My boyfriend is sooo difficult. Why don’t you come home to me first and then I’ll come up with some more adequate compliments?” 

“I’m going to hold you to that.” 

The two of you talk for a little while longer, with you telling Spencer about the new coffee shop you’d tried out and how their lavender latte actually tastes like lavender, which is basically unheard of. Spencer tells you about the standoff between him and an all too curious roadrunner that he swears was trying to get into his motel room. Calling it a standoff is generous; the man got bullied by a bird. 

You try not to laugh and end up unsuccessful, with Spencer insisting that you were taking sides and he was well and truly in danger, which only makes it funnier. His voice pitches up even as he tries to keep his volume low, and you argue that his energy is just so attractive that even the local wildlife are drawn to him. 

“Don’t start,” he warns, overwhelming fondness in his voice. 

You make Spencer tell you something boring to calm yourself down from the image you’ve conjured of him being chased by a roadrunner, which, in your exhausted state, is even funnier than it should be. He claims to regret confiding in you with this, but he knows he’d do it again just to hear you laugh. 

Instead of telling you something boring, he recites some of the poems he’s memorized over the years. It works the way you’d intended, and you regret it when you have to stop him to tell him you’re falling asleep. He’s just a little smug about it. 

“So, you’ll be home in four hours?” you ask, the start of your goodbyes. 

“More like three now.”

“We made time go faster.” 

“We did.” 

“Will you try to get some sleep?”

“Fine. Only because you asked.”

You hum, victorious. “Goodnight. I love you.” 

“And I love you.” 

Hours later, just as the sun is beginning to change the hue of the sky from deep navy to a hazy cerulean glow, you feel your mattress shift underneath you. You’re barely awake, but still you register the scent of Spencer’s shower gel, fresh and sort of woodsy. 

Half asleep, you shift to accommodate him, and he slips an arm around you as you lay your head on his chest. You wrap an arm around his torso and throw your leg over his hips, as close as you can possibly get without literally being on top of him. 

You sigh, deep and relieved, and Spencer’s heart stutters. 

“I missed this,” he chuckles, resting his cheek against the top of your head and wrapping his arms tighter around you. You just hum in response, the last of your energy before you’re pulled back under. Within minutes, Spencer is asleep too, and the two of you sleep through sunrise and into the afternoon. 

[thenyoumightaswellwrestleangels]

I don't know you anymore (maybe I never really did)

let me wrap my teeth around the world - series masterlist here

pairing: poly marauders x reader (gender neutral)

length: 1.7k

genre: fluff, angst (happy ending to come)

warnings: slytherin reader, some serious emotional dodging and avoidance but you know me it all ends up ok, peter is your bestie and that's just the way it is sorry, no happy ending YET but I promise it's coming this is not a tragedy

a/n: happy ending next week I love y'all too much to leave you with heartache

"Sorry, love," Remus begins to bend down, hand reaching to pick up the book you'd dropped when the two of you collided in the library, but you quickly shoot your own hand out to snatch it up first. "What are you doing here this late?"

"Getting a book," you say plainly. Remus's brows furrow slightly, his eyes drifting over your figure as if to somehow see why you're acting so strangely.

"Alright, dove. We're all planning on studying pretty late tonight - you're welcome to join us. We can always sneak you back down to the dungeons whenever you're ready to call it a night." Remus is quiet when he talks, that soothing, soft air he has about him making your shoulders drop as you lean against the bookshelf next to you.

"As if I can't sneak myself around the castle without your help," you bite back playfully. A smile twitches across Remus's lips as he thinks, just for a moment, that you're back, that you'll follow him up to his common room and spend the night laying on a couch with him, your legs slung over James's lap while you throw wads of paper at Sirius's head. His heart thumps a little painfully when he realizes that he can't remember the last time you've done that with them - he can't remember the last time you've hung out with them at all. 

It's as if you remember that fact at the same time he does, as the faint smile slips off your face and you straighten. "I can't tonight," you say kindly. "But thank you." Remus blinks as you begin to move past him, your polite voice ringing through his head. Like we're strangers, he thinks weakly. Except you're not even that nice to strangers.

Remus is busy slouching against the nearest bookshelf and wondering what they possibly could have done to make you avoid them so desperately but so kindly when he hears you let out another sigh from where you've walked past him.

"Wow," Sirius drawls as Remus turns to see him and James standing in front of you and you pointedly looking past them, like you're a trapped animal searching for the nearest escape route. "I'd almost forgotten you go here still." Your gaze snaps to Sirius and you narrow your eyes at him.

"It's good to see you," James interjects, seeing the two of you size each other up and eager to avoid a showdown between you and Sirius. "How have you been, love?"

"You see me in class almost every day," you snipe back at Sirius before turning to James. "I've been busy, and I still am now so - if you'll excuse me." With that, you slip between the two of them, exiting the library swiftly. Remus sighs and Sirius scowls at the now empty doorway, James opting to look down at the floor, staring dejectedly like a kicked puppy. No doubt you're holing up down in the Slytherin dorms all night now - as far away as you can get from them. Sirius smoothes a hand over James's unruly curls as Remus squeezes his shoulder comfortingly.

"We'll figure this out," he says gently, and as Sirius looks at him, he begs himself to believe it.

"You lost, Pete?" You don't look up from your book as Peter plants himself in the seat opposite you, frowning at you.

"Like we've never had breakfast together before," he huffs back, and you can't stop the smile that flits across your lips at the confidence that he's so clearly been nurturing. You close your book with a thump and place your chin in your hand, staring at him and waiting for him to continue. "Half the time, you're at the Gryffindor table. It can't be so different for me to come over here."

"Hm, maybe it's not," you shrug, picking your book back up to toss it across the table at him. "Read the back of that. You can borrow it when I'm done - I think you'll like it." Peter picks it up tentatively and gets about halfway through the synopsis before he's dropping it back on the table and crossing his arms.

"You're making them miserable," he says bluntly. You pout in a mocking sort of manner, but Peter's frown tells you that he doesn't believe you're as heartless as you typically let on.

"I thought you just came here to have breakfast with me," you switch tactics. 

"Tell me what's going on with you," he pushes. You straighten up in your seat.

"Why don't you just ask them?"

"I have - they don't know. Every time they try to talk to you about it, you find some reason to run away."

"Would you like to see that first hand?" 

"You can't run away from me. I'll cry," Peter insists. You sniff indignantly, mostly because you know he's right. The two of you stare at each other for a long time, and it's to your surprise that he doesn't waver. Your heart does something strange in your chest when you realize that his determination may be because this is more serious than you'd thought - you're hurting them more than you thought.

"They need to get over me, Pete," you say quietly.

"Why?" He presses.

"Because if they don't then this gets messy. None of us want that," you insist. Peter softens a bit, looking sympathetic.

"It's already messy." The bite has left Peter's voice as he reaches to pat your arm across the table. You look at his hand pointedly and he's reminded swiftly that anyone else who reached out to console you like that would get a smack from you. He smiles as he thinks of the kindness that lives in you that you seem to be blind to.

"I'll talk to them," you sigh, leaning forward to let your head thump down onto the table. Peter pats the top of your head gently and, for that, he does get a smack.

"James," your voice makes him stumble to a stop, whipping around to look at you so fast that you nearly run into him, sidestepping him at the last minute as he looks at you, bewildered.

"Are you talking to me?" He asks, confusion and surprise making his voice thick. Something painful twinges in your chest at his shock. Of course I am, you want to say. Who else would I ever want to talk to?

"Yes," is all you end up saying. James shifts on his feet and looks at you a little wearily.

"Are you ok?" He asks and a breath leaves your lungs quickly. 

"I'd like to talk to you… if you have a moment?" James looks at you strangely, but he just nods and leads you out of the hall to the quiet courtyard. There's no, of course I have time for you, pretty thing. I always have time for you. It's just James, stiff and silent and hurting… because of you.

"Peter says I'm making you all miserable," you say bluntly, regret immediately seeping into you at the way James flinches, sitting on the bench in front of you slowly. You stay standing in front of him, looking down at the way he runs a hand through his curls.

"It's just," he begins, looking around as if to find the answer somewhere, or maybe just to find some way of getting away from you. "If we knew what we'd done to upset you then maybe we could make it better. You're just freezing us out, lovely, and that means we can't fix… whatever it is that's happened."

"It's not…" Now it's your turn to look around vaguely, wishing you could get out from under his sharp gaze. "It's not anything you've done. It's just - it's the way things go sometimes. It's ok, James, you just have to move on." But James's face hardens at that, a sternness you're not used to overtaking his features as he stands so that he can look you eye to eye. You have to tilt your head back to look up at him.

"That's what you want us to do? Just… move on? Forget about you? Pretend we were never friends?" The sombre tone in his voice doesn't suit him, and neither does the timid hurt in yours.

"Are we friends, James? Is that what we all are?" James blinks at that, taking a step back and sitting back down onto the bench rather abruptly. When he looks up at you this time, there's something akin to remorse swimming in his eyes.

"Is that what it is, lo-" the pet name dies on his tongue as he presses his lips together firmly. "I'm sorry. I thought - we all thought that you felt the same way about us that we do about you. We thought… we thought we were all more than friends with you and that you… I'm sorry. We never dreamt of making you uncomfortable." You scoff at his words, shaking your head fondly and toeing at the dirt by his feet with your shoe.

"Uncomfortable?" You say disbelievingly. "Please - you three are the biggest gentlemen I've ever met. I don't think you could make me uncomfortable if you tried." James's shoulders sag in relief, but the look he gives you is still that of a lost, confused puppy. You look past him to see a group of students hurrying to their next class and open your mouth to remind James that the two of you also are officially late, but he speaks before you can.

"Then what is it? Please, just… what did we do?"

"It's like I said, James… it's just a bad idea. It's wrong and I can't do this. I… we have to get to class."

But James doesn't go to class that day. He sits on that bench, staring at the place you'd been standing in, until Remus and Sirius find him that evening. And as the two of them tug him up and inside, all he can think of is how they really have lost you.

[gingerhastoomanyobsessions]

the lords in black are so interesting to me because. they’re so us. we’re watching the citizens of hatchetfield suffer for our own entertainment just as much as they are. we’re their accomplices in all of it

pokotho made hatchetfield into a musical because musicals are entertaining. and we ate that shit up! it’s soooo fun watching a little man scramble as the world around him bursts into song. the musical genre is satirized because pokey knows how the genre conventions work just as well as we do. we like watching musicals so much that black friday and npmd are musicals, too, even though they don’t revolve around pokotho’s plans as much as tgwdlm. we want them to sing. pokotho does too.

bliklotep is the audience and the audience is bliklotep. trail to oregon calls the audience “the watcher with one thousand eyes” and that’s not all, in watcher world blinky seems to be able to see through the eyes of anyone and everyone who loves spectacle. he wants to see the characters go through angst because WE love angst. it’s fun to watch alice and bill express their buried frustrations. blinky wants it to end in bloodshed because he loves tragedy, and let’s face it, so do we. it’s like that one post about how hamlet is aware of the audience and is angry that we don’t do anything to intervene because we want to see how it plays out. personally, I think blinky could have stopped the woodwards if he really wanted (he’s an elder god, after all) but alice shooting him shifted the narrative so that the emotional payoff would be more fulfilling if they escaped. and blinky loves a good story.

t’noy karaxis has blorbos. we joke about it, but that’s really what it is, isn’t it? he’s the fan who watches the movie again and again and again and again to see his favorite character’s dramatic death scene. he’s the guy who writes and reads angst fics by the hundreds because he likes to see his faves cry. he’s the hatchetfield enjoyer who’s on the edge of their seat waiting to see how ted kicks the bucket this time. the bastard’s box is pretty much just an ao3 account filled with whump and hurt no comfort. he’s sadistic AND he genuinely adores ted, because we fans are often cruelest to the characters we love the most. he puts ted through character growth— the realization that his life went the way it did because of his own mistakes, his inability to be vulnerable with jenny before it was too late— and he does that by writing a 56-chapter angst fic that’s still updating to this day

nibblenephim is the fan who voraciously devours every scrap of content that a creator produces and demands more, more, more. let’s face it, the fandom will never let starkid rest until we see this story through to its end. and then someone will demand a sequel series. nibbly is hungry because we will never stop yearning for more stories. he’s simple because that desire itself is simple— as humans, we need creativity like we need air to breathe. nibbly wants more because we want more. and we will never be satiated.

wiggog y’rath is the ruler and the king because he’s the self-inserting writer. I think jon matteson plays paul *and* wiggly for a reason— wiggly is the only lord in black to be played by the same actor in every single show, and that actor also plays the protagonist of tgwdlm. wiggly wants to be the protagonist. he tries to force himself into the human world of hatchetfield because he wants to participate, dammit! he wants to be the bestest ruler that the earth has ever seen! everyone has to love him because he’s going to be their bestest fwiend! when he appears in human form he’s gonna be the prom king! he’s the ebony dark’ness dementia raven way of the hatchetfield multiverse. he wants every human character to bend to his whims and to love him and to put him at the tippy-top of planet earth because he’s the writer and the writer’s main character, you fuckheads, and he can make whatever story he wants, whether the other characters like it or not! if you’ve ever written a self-insert story? congratulations! you’ve been wiggog y’rath.

and the funny thing? I don’t think the lords know that they, too, are as fictional as anyone else in hatchetfield. maybe blinky knows— he sees through the audience’s eyes, after all— but I don’t think the others do. if they did, maybe they’d be a little less tyrannical. a little bit nicer.

but then the starkid writers wouldn’t have much of a story to tell, would they?

[tossawary]

When writing fanfiction, there are a lot of unknowns surrounding Mobei-Jun that I answer based on what I think is compelling, funny, and/or contrasts well against SQH | Airplane Bro. (Sometimes, based on what contrasts interestingly and/or hilariously against Luo Binghe or Shen Qingqiu.) The choices I make for MBJ also depend on what suits that particular story.

An interesting question: "What kind of literature does Mobei-Jun like?" He's Airplane Bro's Ideal Man / Dream Guy! It's fun to think about what Mobei-Jun's relationship might be to fiction.

One choice that I've pulled a few times now is having Mobei-Jun be functionally illiterate, mostly because I think that situation is an interesting / amusing contrast to the guy who technically wrote the world into existence. Airplane Bro was cranking out thousands of words per day to eat, selling out his honest passion for literature, and Mobei-Jun can't / doesn't read.

There are lots of different potential reasons for this! Maybe Mobei-Jun is dyslexic. Maybe he desperately needs reading glasses and doesn't realize it. (Yes, maybe half of his glaring is just squinting.) Maybe his education was really bad because his family tried to murder him too many times. Maybe he just doesn't have any interest in fiction or in reading as a hobby in general, because paper / writing is rare in the Demon Realm for a variety of reasons and he's been busy building more relevant skills.

(Airplane Bro is shocked and offended, yes, but mostly because Mobei-Jun somehow successfully hid being unable to read from him for two or more decades. All of those "you read it" and "you write it" orders suddenly make so much sense.)

Another direction for "Mobei-Jun's relationship to media" that I've been enjoying lately as a premise is that Mobei-Jun is the sort of person who would have genuinely enjoyed "Proud Immortal Demon Way". But, like, in a weird way. Like, maybe Mobei-Jun isn't there for the women or the power fantasy, but he's fascinated by the cage of dissatisfaction, misery, and cruelty that the protagonist is building around himself using empty pleasures and merciless vengeance. Mobei-Jun is there for the tragedy. Everyone else in the comments section would think that he's a weirdo for different reasons, including Airplane Bro, but Mobei-Jun is (by accident) operating on a level where he sees the vision.

Alternate direction on "Mobei-Jun would like PIDW, actually": maybe he would like it because he actually loves trashy drama and stupid catfights. He's there for the comedy. He grew up in an environment where his father stole his uncle's wife and his own uncle tried to kill him multiple times, after all. In PIDW itself, right-hand man Mobei-Jun somehow successfully suffered years upon years of Luo Binghe's harem nonsense, and maybe Mobei-Jun was having the time of his life watching Sha Hualing start shit in the harem, actually!

Maybe in a Modern AU, Airplane Bro would try to sound intelligent and cultured by talking to his rich boss / boyfriend about classy literature, only to find out that Mobei-Jun basically only watches reality television competitions where people are constantly trying to tear each other's hair out for money. If people aren't screaming in each other's faces over a spilled glass of wine, throwing plates at each other over a stolen boyfriend or a ruined wedding, or backstabbing each other via wardrobe sabotage to get ahead, then Mobei-Jun is bored. Fighting matches or extremely dangerous sports are also fine, though, sure. (Airplane Bro doesn't like any of this stuff. He's a fantasy novel guy. He has no idea how to react to this.)

Another funny direction for "Mobei-Jun's relationship to media" is that maybe "Proud Immortal Demon Way" wouldn't actually be weird ENOUGH for Mobei-Jun's tastes. Maybe Mobei-Jun would be like that guy who claims "if I can guess the twist, then it's not suspense - suspense is when I don't know what's going to happen next, period" and reads long-running, amateur, foreign, abstract web-novels that he has to put through an online translator himself. Maybe in a Modern AU with this opinion, Mobei-Jun loyally watches telenovelas and Bollywood soap operas. Airplane Bro comes into the room and says, "Wow, not even any subtitles? You can understand what they're saying?" and Mobei-Jun says sincerely, "No. You have to figure out what's happening without them. This is the intended viewing experience."

[anistarrose]

the thing I keep coming back to about TAZ Balance, I think, is that there's heroes — lots of them, even — but there's not really a hero, not a singular one. when our characters try to save the world all on their own, and oh, do they try, their arcs — while eventually culminating in happy endings, for the most part — are, at the time, cast as tragedies. lone heroes, in TAZ Balance, are invariably tragic heroes.

Lucretia can't gather all the Grand Relics and defeat the Hunger on her own. Barry can't find Lup, much less sway Lucretia from her plan, on his own. Lup, crushed by guilt, sets off to neutralize her greatest mistake without even facing her family as she leaves, and that decision sets the story into motion in the first place. their intent to spare their family, to shoulder the burden alone so no one else will have to, fixes little and leaves them isolated. lonely. trapped.

even Magnus, rustic Folk Hero of Raven's Roost, fails to avenge the community that took him in. he sets off on a solitary mission to do so, never opening up about his pain to even his closest friends, but he never sees Kalen again. yet, maybe not too late, he learns, or rather, remembers — the strength to protect and avenge others comes from the strength to ask for help. the last thing helping anyone is trying to do this alone.

Lucretia assembles the Bureau, and as soon as she sees a way, brings Tres Horny Boys back under her wing. Barry, the very same day that Lucretia recruits them, sees the Phoenix Fire Gauntlet surface, and realizes it's time to put his trust in his family again — he shows himself to them soon after, and even with him putting up a facade, that's progress. and Lup, with endless time to reflect, is possibly the first of all of them to see where she went wrong. she won't be making that mistake again.

there's not a singular hero of the story, because taking on the burden of saving everyone is no task meant for one person. there's "our heroes," Tres Horny Boys, and there's the secondary, "secret," but no less important heroes who complete the ranks of the IPRE, but none can defeat the Hunger — nor reunite their family, nor vanquish an old foe — without leaning on each other, and on the new bonds they forged on this cycle. leaning on Johann, Kravitz, Team Sweet Flips, and the whole ensemble; every single connection that convinced them not to flee but to fight.

accepting that none of them can, that none of them should, be the hero alone — that's what averts the tragic end. the Hunger, terrible as it is, is wholly united, sharing and amplifying each other's despair. the only way to victory is to rely on each other, to care for each other, to learn how to be cared for, and to let your loved ones grant you hope.

[u3pxx]

you two can't just "ah... eto bleh" your way out of this one!

finally got to draw for ineffablerevau october! wanted to make something for the first day's prompt, "meet the cast", so i can finally introduce eve young here too! :^D and hey, better [looks at smudged writing on hand] 14 days late for the prompt instead of never, yea? extra stuff under read more!

really most of my ideas for anything are just "wouldn't it be silly if" or sometimes the occasional "wouldn't it be fucked up if" but that's bc i like tragedy and hurt </3 so i've had the idea of wouldn't it be neat if eve was trans in this au, just for fun DFGHDJ

she fractured her rib during football practice and then realized in the nurse's office "i think im a girl" ASKSKS (it was a long time coming but the rib thing was a catalyst pftt /j) (also get it, the rib thing, because she's EV

edit: forgot to mention her colors are an inverse of adam's colors!

once again and always, thank you to the gomens support group in the minibang server bc y'all always have such fun ideas and i love talking to yall <33 thank u for handling my insane and acoustic ramblings about my au very nicelys <33 ASKSKS

i also was thinking of giving crowley short hair for this one except I'm so used to him with the longer hair DFGHFJ, but then i remembered i made his hair timeline reversed in this so instead he has short hair 11 years before that he just grew longer pftt

[gyuswhore]

the story of us ✦ j.w.w x reader

the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now - the story of us

synopsis: So many walls that you can't break through; except you do.

wc: 2.1K

contains: best friends to lovers, angst, fluff, humour, happy ending, alcohol, arguments

masterlist

Support creators by reblogging!

[a/n]: im exhausted, im loopy, im hungry, but i really wanted to post this so here you go my babies I'm sorry i haven't fed you in so long (ty @toruro for making sure i wasn't talking out of my ass in this ily)

[edit; 11/04/24]: grammar and spelling.

Jeon Wonwoo was nearing boiling point when he watched you push him away from yet another conversation.

He tried to understand, just like he always had. But it was proving near impossible at the five-month mark. 

There were clear signs you exhibited when you needed space, for whatever reason, Wonwoo knew you would tell him when you recovered. So he gave you what you needed.

And yet, when he finds himself pushed away from what looks like a casual conversation between your mutual friends, he finds his mild annoyance grow into something hotter. 

There’s a clench in his jaw as he tries not to squeeze the red cup in his hand with too much pressure, even when all the spiteful bit of his brain wants to do is to pour its pigmented contents all over your cream outfit. He manages to control himself, choosing to get up and exit the premises entirely. In complete silence, he refuses to acknowledge any yell of his name from passing acquaintances. 

Jeon Wonwoo refused to respond to any of your advances after that. 

Invitations to lunch were left on a jarring sent, the notification sitting in his log until he chooses to open it too late. His response was bare when you asked for help on some accounting concepts, pushing you over into Jihoon’s hands to fulfill your requirements. There’s a blatant shrug when you touch his shoulder, concerned, asking why his behaviour had become so distant in the past weeks; he responds with a mumble of, “just tired”.

The great divide happened a few days proceeding your birthday, one for which Wonwoo did nothing for but send you a quick message during the evening, never to see you throughout the extended day. 

“I can’t believe you’re putting this on me!” you all but yell, eyes wide and expression exasperated at the situation.

“Are you blind? Or just plain stupid? Because I didn’t tolerate months of your shit attitude to have you say it isn’t your fault.” Wonwoo is breathing heavily, hands motioning towards your entire figure with equal disbelief.

“What attitude?” you emphasize. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know I couldn’t be upfront with my best friend.”

“There’s a difference between being in a mood and blatant disrespect. I’m tired of having to put up with your mood swings like it’s my responsibility to coddle you. When was the last time you genuinely asked me how I was doing?”

“All the time!”

“Yeah, after you realize there's nobody else to whine and wail to!”

“Wonwoo, you’re being ridiculous.”

“Fine. If I’m clearly so unhinged, I’ll leave you to your liking.” 

The dwindled interactions, from messages to hellos, went from sparing to nonexistent — just like that. 

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t expect for you and Wonwoo to reconcile in the matter of a few days, if not a couple weeks.

But when the distance did nothing but grow larger, there was a settle of resentment in the pit of your stomach as you accepted the feud you were in. 

A text was sent from your phone a couple days after the incident.

[You]: can we talk?

But when you see no sign of the grey Delivered on the end, you knew he had blocked you. 

This was all nothing less than baffling to you for a number of reasons, starting with how you had never witnessed Wowoo acting this way. 

Wonwoo had done nothing but reprimand you the rare chance you suggested blocking an apprehensive individual, something about not showing that you cared. His voice seemed redundant after a certain decibel, the rarest chance to witness him yell at a failed video game or a frustrating professor. 

You know better, which is the only reason you’re ruling off paranormal possession. 

The claims against you came as an afterthought, not, however, rendering them any less strange. There’s a part of you that pondered if your shield of annoyance blocked you from seeing the truth in his words and in your behaviour, finding yourself overwhelmed with emotions when the thought crossed your mind, tears of frustration immediately blurring your vision. 

You did not understand, you could not. And when it all got too much, you allowed the hurt and confusion to turn into something more dangerous. You replaced it with anger, in the same place that once occupied a more delicate emotion. 

There was an uproar in Wonwoo’s mind when he sees you walk into the lecture hall, unaware of your overlapping schedule in the new semester. He watches as your eyes pass over the moderately packed space, briefly glancing over where he sat; if you saw him, you did nothing to bring a reaction out of it. You take a seat a few rows up front, right in front of him where he’s able to see the back of your head for the next two hours — for the rest of the semester. 

He wonders if it’s too late to switch classes. 

“Wonwoo, I honestly think this is getting out of hand.” Jihoon munches on his cashews, leaning against bark of the tree they were both sat under. 

“Did you want me to keep tending to her bullshit then?” he grumbles.

“That’s not what I’m saying, you know it’s not.”

“That’s what it sounds like.” Wonwoo’s retort is brisk.

Jihoon is suddenly snapping his fingers in his face at the reply, a flinch accompanies Wonwoo’s already sour expression. 

“See! See how frustrating it is when somebody isn’t making sense?” 

“How does this—” 

“Wonwoo, did you try talking to her about how you felt, you know, without the screaming?” 

Jihoon watches as Wonwoo’s expression clears out, his eyebrows unfurrowing and the scowl fading. He doesn’t speak, choosing to let the realization kick in.

“No.” 

Jihoon sighs, taking another pause. “I’m not saying what she did wasn’t uncalled for, but you need to talk shit out before deciding you hate each other.”

“I don’t hate her.”

“Right, so can we wrap this up quickly and have you confess your undying love so we can all relax.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Heat crawls up Wonwoo’s cheeks.

“What? If you don’t hate her, it’s gotta be the opposite.”

Did Wonwoo like you? Yeah, he probably did. Did he ever let himself ponder upon it? No, because he was downright mortified of the mere thought. He finds himself a hypocrite to say it was to preserve your friendship, but he figures he’s fucked it up in a way that’s arguably worse. 

Regardless, Wonwoo walks away from that conversation with two things: a stark realization, and an even starker admittance. 

Everything was going wrong. At least that’s what it felt like when you hear the clang of your water bottle hit the pavement, rolling off into the oncoming traffic as you sprint to grab it. You nearly cause a vehicle pile-up, swallowing a couple profanities from braking drivers. 

You’re stuffing the darn thing into your bag when you trip on a loose brick on the path, nearly landing on your face. The glare you send into the pavement costs you even more when a hard shoulder bumps into your side, sending you another couple steps back. You don’t bother to see who the perpetrator is, too preoccupied with your attempts to take in deeper breaths amid the blankness of your mind. 

There are no hiccups after that, what you might owe your more conscious mind to. Stomping up the library steps, you thank nothingness for the air conditioning that meets your hot face, slowing down as you take in the crowd. 

Scanning the room for an empty seat is harder than you’d anticipated, hoping the heat would keep students away from the building as you left to get work done. Approaching a table, you set down your bag with a huff, pulling the chair out to finally take the seat you’ve been needing for so long. 

The universe seems to have other plans. 

It’s almost funny the way you and Wonwoo make eye contact across the other table, the recognition sending a jolt through your stomach. 

You’ve never moved so fast, pushing the chair back in with a screech that earns you a few looks, grabbing the handles of your bag as you turn around to leave the building you’d just entered. 

No way you'd sit there. Not when he was around.

You're bounding down the steps when somebody passes you, murmuring something without slowing their stride.

“I’m leaving, you can go inside,” Wonwoo says, and the sound of his voice has you halting almost immediately.

Whipping your head around to search for the sound, you watch as he takes a turn at the end of the steps, slowly moving out of your vision. 

There’s a swirl of something in your chest, and you realise in that moment how much you missed hearing his voice. 

Chiding yourself, you blink back the water that wells up in your eyes, embarrassed at how quickly you were losing yourself.

But the damage was done. And you wanted to be reckless, regardless of how desperate it made you look. A split second decision is made in that moment, one that lightens the heavy feet that you’ve planted on the concrete. 

You’re back to bounding down the steps, but this time with aim. 

Taking the same turn you saw Wonwoo take, you break into a sprint as you see his figure move farther away. You keep running, continuing to bump into both objects and people, hurried "sorry"'s the only thing you choose to throw their way. 

“Wonwoo!” Your voice comes out stronger than you’d intended, the sharpness having him turn around in search, eyes landing on your accelerating figure. 

Both of you realize too late how fast you’re really going, the velocity taking you directly into his outstretched arms, hands grasping the sleeves of his shirt as you come to screeching stop directly into his chest. 

You don’t have the time nor the patience to be embarrassed, pulling your face back to look directly into Wonwoo’s bewildered eyes to huff out your next words.

“Why did you block me?” you ask, voice gruff and slightly out of breath.

Wonwoo’s mouth opens and closes like a fish, words refusing to come out. 

“Why are you so mad at me? Why are you being nice to me if you’re mad at me?” You don’t stop, the direct questions tumbling off your tongue in desperation. 

You search his face for an answer when his mouth fails, but all you find is the remnants of shock yet to ebb away. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for making you feel like you weren’t important, I’m sorry for taking your presence for granted, I’m sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry for…for… I don’t know! I’m just really sorry and I don't know how else to make this right.”

“I’m sorry, too,” you hear him say and you feel the moisture return to your eyes. 

“Huh?”

“I should’ve…” he pauses, looking sheepish. “I should’ve talked to you before I, y’know, went off on you. I should’ve managed my feelings better, I’m sorry.” 

You're silent for a few tantalizing moments before you raise your fists, and pound down on his chest with everything you have. You do it again, and then again, and again—

“What?- Ow!” 

“When are you gonna stop bottling up your feelings for fucks sake, it’s landed you everywhere but good!” you say, nearly yelling.

Wonwoo whips his head around to see who’s listening, palm to mouth in attempts to silence you. 

“I’m sorry! I know! I’m working on it,” he rambles, trying to get you to quit struggling. “Jihoon and I talked, that’s why I realised I was being dumb.”

“Are you gonna unblock me now or do I need to pay Jihoon to sit down with you again?”

Wonwoo’s eyebrows furrow. “You payed Jihoon to sit with me?”

“No, you idiot. But I should have because you can’t seem to figure out how to feel emotions.” 

Wonwoo can’t help himself when he breaks out into a grin, letting out a breathy chuckle that has you asking “What?”.

He pulls you in, heart to heart in an embrace, holding you tight to make up for the weeks of no contact. He breathes in your scent and feels as though he hasn’t in years. 

“I’m not gonna come running up to you the next time you decide you hate me,” you mumble into his shoulder, pouting slightly.

“I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” 

“No.” Wonwoo pulls away but keeps you in his arms, looking at you, “I love you. Like, the kind of stuff that makes you wanna live together forever. I love you.” 

It’s your turn to gape like a fish. 

“W-what?”

“You told me not to bottle up my feelings.” 

“Yeah, but—wow, um.” 

“Did I make another mistake?” 

No! You wanted to scream. But you don’t. You instead lift your hands up to come around his face, cradling it. And you kissed him. 

“I love you, too. Like the live together forever kind.” 

[forbidden-sunlight]

yandere! luo binghe with shixiong!male!reader headcanons

Warnings: obsessive behavior, mentions of violence, physical abuse, and blood.

There may also be possible triggers in this story.

If you do not feel comfortable venturing any further, please hit the 'back' button on your device or computer and read something much more pleasant than a possible series of unfortunate events.

I would like to thank @berrypuddingpwease for helping me expand a concept to full-fledged headcanons featuring one of my favorite characters from MXTX's danmei series, Scum Villian's Self-Saving System, aka SVSSS. This is dedicated to you, my friend :)

So without being said, sit back, relax, and enjoy!

Luo Binghe had suffered one tragedy after another in his life, and being a disciple of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect with a scummy master would later serve as the foundation of his twisted personality in the future. You know it will happen because you have read it. This world you had woken up in, is none other than the famous stallion novel, Proud Immortal Demon Way. Your current incarnation wasn’t a member of Luo Binghe’s three digit harem nor the villain Shen Quingqui, but an extra, a senior disciple in Qing Ding Peak. 

Since you weren’t equipped with a system, at least that you were currently aware of at the moment, it wouldn’t be considered OOC for canon fodder to try and be a good mentor to the current white lotus that is Luo Binghe, or try to improve your own cultivation so there was a chance you would survive the sect’s demise when the protagonist emerged from the Endless Abyss as an awakened Heavenly Demon. 

It started off with the small things; greeting Luo Binghe  with a smile whenever you saw him, sneaking an extra bit of food or medicine into the woodshed when you were sure no one was watching you, especially Shen Qingqiu. He might be a good teacher, but his temper was a legend in this peak. 

The only way you could help Luo Binghe improve himself was to purposely compare your cultivation manual with the one he had, the false one written by the peak lord in an attempt to thwart the protagonist’s growth. By doing this, it would add another reason for Luo Binghe to hate his shizun. 

You allowed him to borrow your book to copy any information he needed, as long as he was discreet. Lup Binghe swore to take good care of the manual, holding it close to his chest with sparkling eyes as he stared at you with a smile. It was cute, this white lotus version of Binghe. 

Seeing positive changes in how behavior had been worth withstanding Shen Qingqiu’s anger, especially when he found out just the other day that you were the culprit who had been sneaking an extra portion of food to the protagonist. Good things the sleeves of the cultivation uniform were long enough to hide the bruises starting to form on your arms. There’s no doubt that the sect leader will start dishing out punishment to you from now on, even for the smallest mistake. 

Oh, well. You’ll just have to be more careful in behaving around the rest of the sect and Binghe from now on. Still, how could he continue to grow without triggering the events that would lead to his blackening?

As you contemplated these thoughts, you could not have realized nor believed just how much of your presence in this world the plot of Proud Immortal Demon Way in very unexpected ways until it was too late to revert the damage that had already been done. 

Luo Binghe is a  very sticky, lovesick puppy for the shixiong who has treated him with so much kindness and respect and it scares him. He’s afraid he’ll wake up one morning….and realize that it had been a sweet, sweet dream. But he wakes up early every morning, and he sees his shixiong teaching the others alongside Ming Fan….and when his shixiong sees him, he smiles. And it is a warm, friendly smile that Binghe secretly wishes would belong only to him and no one else. 

With his shixiong, Binghe’s life in the peak is so much better. He hasn’t been this happy in a long, long time…so why was his shizun continuing to punish his shixiong so unfairly? His shixiong didn’t do anything wrong! He is training him and the other disciples in preparation for the Immoral Alliance Conference, and doing more than his fair share of the chores around the peak! 

But no matter what his shixiong did or did not do, their shizun would pull him away from him or the others, and his shixiong would not return to the bamboo house until it was past dinner-time. 

Shixiong tried to brush off his concerns with a smile, but Binghe wasn’t blind! He sees the angry whip marks on his senior’s arms, his head and robes soaked with tea, the pained look in his eyes! Shixiong….Shixiong doesn’t deserve to be treated like this!

He needed to get stronger. Not just to protect himself but to make sure Shen Quingqui wouldn’t hurt his shixiong ever again! And if the sect didn’t accept them being together, then they will find happiness elsewhere. Rogue cultivators did exist beyond these mountains, although the other disciples believed they were wholly evil. But Binghe has come to realize that this world isn’t just black and white. 

[honeybleed]

— ★ BLOODSHED // SHINAZUGAWA SANEMI

content & warnings: fem!reader, canon-verse, canon typical violence (blood, vomit, death, reader has suicidal thoughts due to survivor’s guilt), conflict (sanemi insults reader a bit but hey) smut (unprotected sex, missionary) mdni

author’s note: saw the demon slayer movie n had thoughts 🫠

word count: 1.6k

Too late.

That was the only words that echoed in Sanemi's mind.

He told you to stay behind the bushes whilst he investigated the scene. Your nose wrinkled at the acrid stench of flesh.

Sanemi was not a childhood friend. He was a familiar face to you when you were both children but he was nowhere near a friend.

The tragedy that struck his family in your village was whispered among the residents. But never fully discussed under Sanemi's blood-curdling glare.

He eventually left to join the Demon Slayer Corps. His younger brother followed in his footsteps.

Fast forward to the present, you were caught amidst the pattern of young women disappearing. Sanemi and Iguro had swooped in to rescue you.

The Wind Hashira and Serpent Hashira bickered amongst themselves as you were thrown across Sanemi's shoulder against your will before they parted ways.

In Sanemi's book, he would've dropped you home with no further explanation. His duty was done.

But as he made his way into the heart of the village, boots slick with blood, and the coppery tang of it mingling with the earthy scent of churned soil wafted to his nose, he realized it wasn't going to be as simple as he wanted it to be.

Corpses were strewn across the ground like discarded puppets, their lifeless forms contorted in unnatural poses. Weapons littered on the ground. It was beyond unnerving.

His eyebrows furrowed. He told you to stay put, and he turned to see you crawling across the ground.

"Are they all dead?" You mustered out. The air was heavy with an eerie silence.

"...Yeah." Sanemi responded voice devoid of emotion, not able to meet your eye.

Your hands covered your mouth as you felt bile scratch your throat. Scrambling away, you felt your chest heave and you threw up with all your might.

The image of children crying and screaming as they cowered with their parents as the demons slaughtered them was too much.

A once bustling marketplace was now reduced to a graveyard, the stalls overturned and splattered with crimson. Laughter and conversation replaced with screams of terror.

That was the last thing you remembered before you felt faint and were submerged in darkness.

Your eyes blearily wrenched open. The atmosphere was different. From the destruction and hollowness of your home, there was warm light that shed through the paper screens and a fragrant aroma mixed with the scent of herbs.

Struggling to sit up, you felt a wrinkled hand press you back down onto the futon. You turned your head to face the kind face.

"Where am I?"

She didn't respond. Rather, she stood up, bowed and exited the room. Leaving you bewildered.

Your clothes had been changed and your feet were no longer scraped and bloody like they were when Sanemi rescued you from the demon's clutches.

Pushing off the covers, you could feel a presence. Your eyes focused on the shoji screen door, and sure enough, Sanemi was sitting cross-legged on the engawa.

He didn't bother to look at you.

"You haven't changed." You said.

He's still brash. Rude. But to you, maybe not to others it's just a defence mechanism. To push people away.

He didn't respond.

"Do you regret...saving me?" You finally questioned.

Sanemi felt his heart race. He was crushed with the guilt of all those villagers dying.

"No." He said bluntly.

"I wish you didn't." You spat and headed back indoors leaving him completely dumbstruck.

Sanemi felt rage boil within him. The vein in his temple throbbed as he saw red.

Within an instant, he shot up to yank the door open as he glared at you, breathing heavily.

"You UNGRATEFUL WENCH!" He bellowed.

You sat up from the futon, eyes widening.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!" You screeched, livid at his audacity.

"You heard me, loud and clear!" He spat. "After what I did for you?!"

"WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO LIVE IF IT WAS AT THE COST OF AN ENTIRE VILLAGE...?!" You shrieked, a lump forming in your throat.

The words stung him. All the guilt of the massacred village comes crashing down on him.

"YOU STILL LIVE." He seethed. "YOU TAKE THAT CHANCE I GAVE YOU, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!"

"What the HELL is left for me?! YOU SAW IT! IT WAS A GRAVEYARD!" You sobbed, tears spilling down your cheeks.

He turned away. His face was beet red, balling up his fists as he shook with a silent rage.

"But you are ALIVE, aren't you?!"

"What use is there being alive...?" You said defeatedly, not wanting to scream anymore as your body began to wrack with sobs. "Just do me a favor, and end my life."

"Don't ask me to do stupid crap like that, you hear me?" Sanemi hissed as he glared at you. "My blade is for those demonic bastards. Not airhead humans."

"I have no reason to live."

"I said, don't talk like that." He said sternly as he grabbed you by the chin and forced you to look up at him.

He practically was lying on you whilst you were sitting on the futon.

The two of you had emotions brewing. Unexplainable. And as terrifying as Sanemi could be, there was a magnetic pull between the two of you.

And it appeared he shared the same sentiment, as he instantly captured your lips for a hungry kiss.

First, your body froze. But when you registered this was something you wanted, with the way heat pooled deep in your gut, you returned the kiss.

Sanemi planted his large and calloused hand onto the back of your neck. He groaned into the kiss as your tongue ventured inside the recess of his mouth, caressing his own.

Hands grasping and shedding clothes off. Ripping, forcing and tugging at the fabric that seemed to be confining the both of you.

Your palms grazed and slid against the taut, firm muscle that was etched with countless scars. His fingers digging and kneading your soft and supple skin, the outlines of your curves and dips.

Pulling away from the heated kiss, gasping for air to latch onto the juncture of your neck and shoulder.

Closer, closer, he needs to feel you. Your limbs intertwine, Sanemi's digits gripping into the plump flesh of your rear to haul you onto his lap.

Your eyes flutter shut, it's almost heavenly the way his sharp canines sink into your throat, how he alternates between gliding his tongue and grazing the jagged edges.

He wants to devour you whole. And you'd let him over and over again. You want him, you'd let him tear you apart.

The way he growls gutturally as his achingly hard cock merely brushes against your soaked slit.

He pushed you back and began to palm at your breasts, kneading them as he met your lips again, lapping into your mouth.

"Fucking beautiful, y'know that?" He grunts between the sloppy kisses.

"You're okay.." You tease with a smile as your hands skim across his sides.

"I'm better than okay." He chuckles. You wince as he gripped and squeezed your flesh, marking you up.

He finally pulled away, his hands pinning your wrists down. His tongue dragged over his lower lip as his cock throbbed, the way you were spread out for him.

The steady forming red marks littered across your skin, the bite marks, your skin sheen with sweat, the goosebumps all across your arms and the way your lips had swollen.

"Tell me what you want." He rasped out, a predatory glint in his eye. He never thought sex could elicit the same high he got from massacring demons.

"I want you inside me..." You responded meekly.

“Anything for you.”

Sanemi let out a stutter as he slowly pushed himself inside, entering you was true bliss. The way your velvet walls accommodated him.

You mewled at how he stretched you out, your back instantly arching. He met your lips furiously, eyebrows furrowing.

"Want this whole place to hear you scream my name." He mumbled, sweat trickling down his forehead.

Sanemi nuzzled his face into your neck, inhaling your scent deeply as he began to thrust. You were a babbling mess as he buried himself in you to the hilt.

You whined as his nails dug into your hips.

"...Nemi." You mustered out pathetically, the saliva from your kissing dribbling down your chin.

"Need to...cum inside of you, make you mine." He grunted as he pounded into you relentlessly, grunting and snarling as he felt your slick walls clench around his cock.

The room was filled with the heady scent of sex and sweat as he drove you toward the brink of ecstasy.

"S'close, Sanemi..." You breathed out, his thumb dragging against your plump lower lip with a cocky smile.

"Let's cum together, okay...?" He whispered near your ear, uncharacteristically gentle.

You nodded and soon enough, your bodies were in sync, a cacophony of breaths coming in short gasps, moans of pleasure and skin slapping.

Sanemi felt himself getting closer and closer to the edge, feeling you grasp around him.

He kept his focus firmly on you, reaching to circle your clit, adding stimulation to push you over the edge.

Your walls pulsated wildly as he slammed into you, his seed spilling deep inside of you in hot spurts.

He instantly collapsed on top of you, panting heavily. It took a moment for him to finally peel himself off of you.

Your eyes raked over his face, your hand cradled the side of his face and he leaned into your touch.

Sanemi barely smiles. If he smiles, it's the thrill-seeking, adrenaline one he gets at the prospect of slashing demons down.

But as your thumb stroked his cheek, you were the only one to see Sanemi Shinazugawa beam at you with tenderness and warmth.

author’s note: if u reached this far tysm!! reblogs n interactions always appreciated hehe yeah btw i got a headache so sorry for any spelling or grammatical mistakes lawl

[hongmingoo]

Still You

Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo x f!Reader

Warnings: Brother's best friend, Best friend's sister, Slight underage relationship, Slight teacher-student relationship, Domestic Abuse (not explicit), Exes to lovers, Angst, Fluff, Forbidden love tragedy

Word Count: 11k+

Inspired from: Still You - Seungkwan

Summary: Tragic love story between two lovers who met at the wrong time, having to go through trials after trials just to end up finding each other again.

Jeon Wonwoo has never believed in love at first sight. He always thought that it takes time for people to get to know each other and eventually fall in love. But with you, it's so different.

You were his best friends' sister. A young girl compared to the circle he is used to. You were away, living with your grandmother in Jeju while your brother lived with your mom in Seoul. Six years younger than Jisoo is, you are instantly adored by his peers.

So, Wonwoo thought it's only normal for him to adore you too. You were a nice kid, polite and kind, also very understanding– very unfitting of your young age. You didn't complain when you're left alone at home after school because your mom works until late and your brother is busy with his school and part time job.

You'd do the chores at home on your own, cook simple dinner to eat, do your homeworks and go to bed early for school days. Sometimes, your classmate, Seungkwan would bring you food and side dishes that his mom made since he lived just next door. And because his younger brother Seokmin is in the same class as you too, he often sees you when he comes to pick Seokmin up from your house after his part time job.

"Poor Y/nie" Seokmin would say one day when they both walk home from your house.

"Why?" Wonwoo questioned.

"Because she's always left alone. Her mom's busy working, same as Jisoo-hyung. But when I asked her if she's lonely, she'd say she's okay with it because they're working hard to make extra cash now that she's staying with them. She's allowed to say she's lonely right, hyung?" Seokmin sighed, his tiny shoulders slumped from the heavy exhale.

Seokmin is caring, more than a 10-year-old should be, but that made Wonwoo proud nonetheless.

"Should we prepare a welcoming party for Y/nie? It's been 2 weeks since she came, right? We haven't had the time to welcome her properly. So, go tell Seungkwan and Soonyoung tomorrow that we'll throw a party for Y/nie at our home on Saturday" Wonwoo suggested, bending down to match his brother's eye level.

Seokmin's face lit up, nodding enthusiastically at the idea.

Still, Wonwoo didn't expect you'd be so happy when they threw the small party for you that Saturday. Didn't expect you'd cry and hugged him while saying your thanks. You'd hugged Seokmin, Seungkwan, and Soonyoung too, promising that you'd be best friends forever.

Jisoo and his mom had come at 8pm to pick you up and thanked his family for welcoming you so warmly which made his mom pat his back in pride. He'd kneel down in front of you to wipe your tears, told you to smile because you looked so pretty smiling.

Wonwoo didn't expect to fall for you, the way he did because he shouldn't. You are his best friend's sister, the one he looks up to as his own brother. And most importantly, you're way too young for him, plus you're also his brother's best friend. By the time he's 17, he realized that his first love is someone he can't get, someone he isn't supposed to love, someone he has to give up entirely on.

At 17, Jeon Wonwoo realized he had fallen in love with the 12-year-old you.

But, in his defense, you're way too mature for a 12-year-old. You're as attentive and caring as your brother Jisoo. You'd give him your handmade cards on his birthday, accompany him and Seokmin for dog walking, never attempt to drag him to a pool or a lake because you knew he had a fear of drowning.

There was one time where you'd knit a scarf for him because he got cold so easily. Tell him you learnt how to knit at school. You said you wanted to make him some mittens but it's too hard so you ended up making him the dark blue colored scarf instead. Then, you also promised that you'd make him a beanie with cat ears because he likes cats once you've practiced enough.

And Jeon Wonwoo realized he is fucked up because he can't possibly love someone so young. The guilt is eating him alive, he felt like he was betraying the trust Jisoo had on him. So, he did the only thing he knew at the moment. He ran away.

You were told by Seokmin that his brother had left to live with his grandparents in Changwon. So he could focus on his studies since he's a high school senior now.

"So, today our class will be taken over by the new student teacher. He's here for his internship for 6 months. So please be nice to him" your homeroom teacher, Mr. Yoon reminded his students. He welcomed the new teacher, that you didn't even notice his presence in the class, not that you cared.

You were just doodling when Soonyoung slapped your arm hard, to get your attention.

"Ow! What is wrong with you?!" You whisper-yelled, still having the decency to be quiet in class. You gave him a nasty glare but he paid you no mind, eyes still glued on the figure at the front of the class.

"Isn't he Seokmin's brother? The new teacher" he whispered, eyes not leaving the front.

"Hello, my name is Jeon Wonwoo. I'll be teaching you Math for this semester. Nice to meet all of you," the deep voice introduced himself with a smile. Your eyes widen, because you remember that voice, that face and most importantly, that smile.

"Hyung! It's me, Soon–" Soonyoung was about to expose himself, raising his hand in the air, but you quickly pulled him down together with you to hide your face on your table.

"Why are we hiding?!" He whispered, confused by your actions.

"I don't know?!" You replied, shaking your head.

"What?! Are you on your period or something? You're acting weird. Anyways, we're gonna have to introduce ourselves, so act proper" your friend scolded. You were stunned because he played Uno reverse on you since usually it's the other way around for you.

"My name is Kwon Soonyoung. My birthday is June 15 and I like tigers! I think you already knew me since we met when I was 10. I am Seokmin's best friend too" Soonyoung introduced himself happily, his hands flying everywhere. Wonwoo's eyes lit up in recognition upon seeing him, his smile widened.

"Oh, Soonyoung. You've grown. Nice to see you again. I look forward to seeing you around more" he chuckled at the boy's excited giggle. Soonyoung turned around to his side, a girl with long dark hair was sitting next to him, face hidden behind a book.

"Come on, your turn" Soonyoung chirped. You wished he could just shut up for one second. You groan inwardly as you stand up, feeling eyes on you already. You reluctantly meet Wonwoo's gaze but it accidentally turned into a glare from how hard you clenched your jaw.

"My name is Hong Y/n. I was born in winter, my hobby is reading" you mumbled your introduction, barely audible but Wonwoo heard it so clearly. It's you, the girl he missed the most. The girl who's still so pretty donning her summer uniform, even though it's already September, despite giving him a harsh glare with a pair of hazel orbs. Wonwoo's eyes widened slightly and his breath hitched but he masked it with a polite smile, the kind that teachers usually have.

"Did you miss your breakfast this morning, Hong Y/n? You seemed grumpy," he teased, for the sake of shaking off the heavy air hung in the classroom. The whole class erupted in laughter and you took a seat after blowing air to your bangs in annoyance.

"How did you know that, teacher? Y/n's only grumpy when she's hungry~" Youngji teased, earning a glare from you too.

"She reminds me of my cat at home. Grumpy when hungry, hehe" Wonwoo chuckled, making the whole class laugh again, except you of course.

"Anyways, I hope we get along just fine this semester. Pleased to meet all of you"

...

"Did you not have any decency to tell us your brother is back and he'll be teaching our class?" You scoffed, sitting at the table at the park for lunch.

"He told me to keep it a secret. He wanted to surprise you guys," Seokmin grinned, opening his lunch box carefully and picking up his chopsticks to start eating.

"I thought I was dreaming when I saw him walk into our class," Soonyoung said, sipping on his strawberry milk.

"So, he's back to your home?" Seungkwan questioned, munching on his sausage.

"No. He rented a house in town. He visited last weekend. And told me to keep it a secret. And here he is today" Seokmin laughed at your incredulous face.

"Are you still mad at him? It's been 5 years. Forgive him already. I thought you moved on from him?" Seungkwan asked.

"I didn't like him"

"Okay? So why are you mad?"

"He left without saying anything to me"

"You weren't anyone to him, Y/n. Why would he tell you? Haven't you thought of it like that?" Seungkwan questioned and you went silent, glaring at him. Soonyoung choked on his sandwich while Seokmin eyed the two of you warily.

"You didn't have to be so blunt about it," Soonyoung coughs, reaching for his strawberry milk. But Seungkwan was right, you were just a friend to his brother, why would he even tell you anything at all? But part of you is still mad at him, because you thought you were special, maybe you mean something to him. But no, you need a reality check. There's no way someone as perfect as Wonwoo would fall for a kid like you.

"Can I join you guys? We haven't had the chance to catch up," a familiar voice rang from behind you, making you frozen on the spot.

"Hyung! Have a seat, let's eat together," Soonyoung cheered and Wonwoo thanked him with a smile. He took a seat on the empty spot next to you, setting his tumbler and lunch box down before he began eating. You still froze, unable to look his way at all.

"You have to call me Teacher at school though. Please remember that," he scolded lightly, nose scrunching up in a cute smile. He still looked so cute and dainty, despite his body having bulked up from the last time they saw him. It's such a contradiction, but he looked hot anyways so who cares.

"Right, sorry. It's confusing," Soonyoung complained.

"When did you come back to Seoul?" Seungkwan asked, looking up at the older male eating his lunch cutely. Tiny bites of everything but somehow still has his mouth full and cheeks puffing up.

"2 weeks ago. I had to settle down in my new home and get ready for school. So yeah, haven't had the time to reach out"

"I see, I thought you just moved back in with your family, that way we could hang out again" Soonyoung whined.

"We can, once I've settled down properly sometime later. Though I wonder, would you younglings even want to hang out with an oldie like me?" The teacher teased.

"Ayy, come on. You looked the same, since 5 years ago. Even Seokmin looks older than you" Seungkwan scoffed before getting into a debate with Seokmin. Wonwoo looks over to you, who has been eating your food silently, not engaging in any of their noisy banter.

"I heard Jisoo is teaching at the private school out of town?" He asked, gently seeking your attention. You just nodded, not sparing him any glances and he had to hold back a pout at your lack of interest in him.

It used to be so different, you would have given him your full attention before he even opened his mouth. But now, you wouldn't even spare him a glance.

"I'm heading back to class. I forgot to do the notes Ms. Jung told us last week. See you in class, Soonie" you retorted, standing up from your chair to leave.

"Didn't you finish the notes right after? You even let me copy it yesterday–" Soonyoung cuts himself off immediately upon seeing you throw him yet another dirty glare, stomping away immediately.

"Sorry, she's on her period. Mood swings" the boy chuckled, scratching at his nape sheepishly.

Wonwoo's eyes trailed your leaving form. Your shiny hair, the tight shirt that clung to your form, your skirt dancing in the slight breeze, your long legs, cute socks peeking from your shoes. 5 years of being away trying to move on has gone down the drain, at the mere sight of you, the beautiful you who is mad at him, the pretty you who owns his heart.

He can no longer deny it. He loves you. He's madly in love with you.

"Is it your mission to follow me around now?" You questioned, irritation obvious on your face as you eyed Wonwoo suspiciously. You were working part time at the local bookstore, the one the elderly couple owns. It was your favorite spot, the place has become your mini library since there's rarely any customers anyways. Wonwoo knew this place, he was the one who brought you here in the first place. So, it's not weird to see him hanging around you because to them, you guys have always been close since you were kids. And today, they left the store for you to handle in favor of going to visit their grandchildren who had just given birth.

"Because you're mad at me and you're avoiding me. I need to know why" he explained, eyes soft as he looked up at you from his sitting position on the bench in the back corner of the store.

"I'm working. You could have meet me sometime later"

"You won't meet me even if I try. So I had to come here"

He was right, you have been avoiding him except in class because there was no way to run and you needed the knowledge because you suck at Math. Other than that, you would have bolted somewhere else if you even saw just a tiny tuft of his fluffy hair poking somewhere.

"Tell me why you're mad?" He persuaded, right hand reaching out to curl around your smaller one.

"I don't know, ask yourself. You were the one who left without any notice. You could have told me and I would have waited for you. But then you decided to come back here, unnoticed. What am I supposed to do?" You grumbled, pulling your hand back, unable to stop your rambling as you focus your gaze on the books you need to stack.

Wonwoo stood up from the bench, towering over you, and you made yourself smaller, fitting your body in the corner, avoiding his stare.

"Have you ever thought that maybe because I'm a coward? That I might have fallen for you but I shouldn't do that because you're my brother's best friend and my best friend's sister" he says, leaning closer to you.

"So what if I am your brother's best friend? So what if I am your best friend's sister? Is there some kind of rule that says that people like that shouldn't date each other?" You countered, glaring up at him. Wonwoo was quite taken aback from what you said, so you continued.

"Plus, I'm not that naive enough to think that you'd like a kid like me. Now move, I have tons of books to stack by today" you pushed him aside to grab the books on the cart and began arranging them neatly on the shelf.

"What if I say you're my student? Someone I shouldn't have developed any feelings on. Someone I should have clear boundaries with?" He questioned.

"Then, why are you here Mr. Jeon? If you know you should have clear boundaries with me, you should have just ignored me instead of following me around like this," you challenged, turning around to look into his eyes again. It shocked Wonwoo to the core to see you so upfront like this. He forgot what he wanted to say when his eyes met the blaze in your orbs.

"If you need to know, you are a person to me first before you're a teacher to me. The person that I liked when I was 12. Now please go. I'm working, you're disturbing me" you sighed, pushing him backwards to stumble towards the door. Wonwoo was stunned, he didn't expect that you'd just confessed to him. That was his answer, you were mad because you liked him but he left you behind without any news.

"It's okay to be naive sometimes, Y/n-ah" he breathes, large hands grasping your wrist gently to stop you from pushing him away. You glared up at him again, a frown decorating your pretty face. You didn't say anything, but it's enough to know you're questioning his motives.

"It's okay to be naive, to think that I liked you. No, actually… I love you. I'm sorry for being a coward and running away," he confesses. Your frown deepens and it was obvious to him that you're not buying what he says.

"Stop playing with me, Mr Jeon. Is this some kind of hidden camera you planned with the guys?" You asked, looking around the store warily. He smiled at you, hands traveling up to cup your face before planting a soft kiss on your forehead.

"I'm not playing with you. I genuinely love you. My heart is about to burst out of my ribcage from nervousness, you know. You can listen and be the judge," he chuckled, pulling your smaller body into his arms, your head resting on his chest. It was true, his heartbeat was going frenzy. It feels warm, being in his embrace, surrounded by his scent. It makes you feel safe. You realized you miss this, you miss him. Slowly, you wrap your arms around him– clutching at the fabric of his cardigan.

"I don't know if I can trust you. You were the one who left me behind after all," you mumble into his chest, voice muffled by the fuzzy fabric. He chuckled, tightening the embrace.

"Let me make it up to you, okay?" He assured, kissing the crown of your hair affectionately. You let yourself be comforted by his warmth and steady breath. Loving how he feels around your figure, you nuzzle your face into his neck and let out a relieved exhale.

"Thank you for coming back," you whispered.

You were having a study sleepover with your besties at Wonwoo's house for the upcoming college entrance exam which will be held in 2 weeks.

It's already 2am and your friends are passed out on the couch and the carpet, leaving you alone still trying to answer one more question for the past hour. Wonwoo came back from his room with extra blankets and pillows to place over the scattered boys.

"It's late. You should rest and continue tomorrow," he says, kissing you on the cheeks. You pull back in surprise, afraid that your friends might see you but Wonwoo only smiles and kisses the tip of your nose.

"They're dead asleep, baby" he chuckles. You sighed, falling into his embrace, wrapping your arms around his neck. Your boyfriend tugs you closer to him until you're straddling his lap, wraps his arms around you securely, kissing your temple.

"You're working so hard. I'm so proud of you, baby. You didn't have to worry so much. You'll do just great. I believe in you" he assured, rocking you back and forth in a comforting manner. You hummed, loving the attention he showers you with.

"Let's get you to bed" he says, carrying you up to his bedroom. He took you to the attached bathroom first to let you do your nightly routine, before carrying you to bed and tucking you beneath the soft covers of his queen sized bed.

"Get some sleep, I'll sleep with the boys outside. Just call or come outside if you need me, okay?" He whispers, kissing your forehead and brushing your hair out of your face lovingly.

"Won't you cuddle me first?" You pouted as he moved to leave already.

"Don't act cute like that baby. I'm trying my best to be nice here" he grunted but relents when you bat your eyelashes at him. He slides under the cover with you, immediately tangling himself with you. An arm sliding under your head, another pulling you close by the waist. Your hazel orbs are shimmery from the moonlight that peeks through the curtain and he couldn't stop himself from leaning into you.

He places a soft peck onto your plush lips as if to test the waters. Diving right in when you close your eyes and lean into the kiss. The hand that was on your waist cupped your jaw to tilt your head so he could kiss you better, your lips meshing together in a passionate liplock. You pulled away to gasp for air and he chased you back, capturing your plush pillowy lips in a kiss because he couldn't get enough of you. He's addicted to your taste.

It wasn't long before he pushed you to lay on your back and hover over your small body, forearms bracketing your head. Your arms curling around his neck, nimble fingers playing with the hair on his nape. Your hearts are beating erratically in your chests, excitement thrilling through your veins making you feel as if time stopped and it's only you and him in this world. You love the feeling of being smothered in his scent, overloading your senses. You love the feeling of Wonwoo on top of you.

When Wonwoo pulled away, it's you who chased his soft lips this time. He smiled, resting his forehead on top of yours, breath heavy. You could see it in his beautiful obsidian, the way he looks at you with so much love in them. He doesn't need to spell it to you, because his eyes are already screaming 'I love you, Y/n'. It makes you overwhelmed, that tears start prickling at your waterlines. You pulled him down, flushed against you to hide your face in the crook of his neck.

"I love you"

...

"So, when do we stop acting like we're oblivious about how they're head over heels for each other?" Seungkwan scoffed under his breath, munching at the slightly burnt toast that you made (only because he absolutely loves you) giving his best bombastic side-eye at the two of you being giggly while cooking breakfast like a bunch of teenagers. The three of them are bunched together at the kitchen island, watching the couple being lovey-dovey in front of them.

"I'm actually hurt that they don't trust us enough to tell us the truth," Soonyoung commented, lathering more chocolate spread on his toast.

"I think they have their reasons. You know how timid my brother could be. Plus his position right now has so many disadvantages to him. It could ruin him" Seokmin added.

"Did you think Y/n could ruin him? Are you serious?" Seungkwan was about to throw hands when Seokmin looked at him, eyes serious.

"Not Y/n. Jisoo-hyung. You know how strict Jisoo-hyung could be"

The two went silent. Agreeing with what Seokmin said.

…

"Are you dating Y/n, hyung?" Seokmin asked as Wonwoo drove him from his apartment. He could see his brother froze for a while, knuckles gripping the steering wheel tightly.

"I could see how you look at her with hearts in your eyes, hyung. And she's not any different either" the younger added. He saw Wonwoo hesitated in the corner of his eyes and sighed.

"You know I'm fully on your side, right? I saw the way you looked at her with such adoration from the first time we met her. You've been in love with her for quite a while, right?"

"Seokmin-ah… I…" Wonwoo trailed, unsure how to continue his sentence, biting his lip in anxiousness. Seeing this, Seokmin sighed.

“Hyung, do you know how long I’ve been gatekeeping Y/n for you? Not just me though, both Seungkwan and Soonyoung did. Seungkwan literally chased away a guy who tried to confess to her. You don’t have to be scared, we knew that you’ve like each other since we were kids. And you don’t have to be scared about dating a student. We’ll protect you both until we graduate, only 3 months left. I just need you to trust us. Trust me. I’m on your side” Seokmin assured.

Wonwoo wasn’t able to say anything else after that. His tears kept flowing down his cheeks. He forgot how kind and caring his brother has been. He was honestly glad that at least he has Seokmin on his side in his ‘forbidden love tragedy’ with you.

“Thank you, Seokmin-ah. I really needed to hear that. I’ll see you at school tomorrow. Good luck for CSAT” Wonwoo thanked his brother after he safely parked in the driveway of their family home, wiping his tears with his sweater paws.

“Won’t you look at me or give me a hug though? Am I not your baby anymore?” the younger brother pouted, his arms wide opened for Wonwoo.

“Always my baby. Even until you’re 70” Wonwoo chuckled, pulling his brother towards him and ruffling his hair affectionately. Seokmin giggled happily, nuzzling his nose in his brother’s neck and he squeezed him a little bit tighter.

“Please remember that I am always on your side, hyung. I love you” Seokmin whispered.

The four of you finished CSAT, after struggling for so long, and finally has sometime to enjoy. The school will be holding a Christmas festival before the winter holiday started, so your friends prepared for a performance with Youngji included. They’re only a group of highschool seniors, but they managed to hype the crowd so much that it almost looked like its their concert.

“Y/N!! Come to the stage! Let’s dance!!” Seungkwan screamed from the stage. You laughed and only shook your head from your seat.

“Mr. Jeon! Join us!” Seokmin called, and Soonyoung immediately dragging the older man to the stage to dance with them. Wonwoo is surprisingly a good dancer, you never knew that and were impressed that he managed to keep up with the boys despite just seeing the choreography. He was smiling so shyly when the students cheer him on for a solo dance break.

Your eyes met his, and he blushed madly– tearing his gaze away. He complained that he’s too tired for hardcore dancing but continued to dance for them when the trio gave his their puppy eyes. Its cute, to see such scenes again after a long time of being apart and hiding beneath the student - teacher facade.

Wonwoo sang a song after that, it was a song that he and Seokmin frequently sing, a song you knew all too well– ‘It Must Have been Love’. The whole school went into uproar at the sound of his voice, it was so beautiful, fitting for a man as beautiful as him. It was deep but it’s also so soft that it touched your heart. Wonwoo’s fanclub is cheering madly, lining up at the front of the stage to get a closer look at the young teacher.

“Wow! Such a beautiful song and beautiful voice! Mr. Jeon, who hurt you that badly for you to sing this tearful song?” Mr. Yoon coos.

“Ah, no… I’m just singing it” Wonwoo answered timidly, a shy smile on his lips as he fleeted a glance towards where you were standing on the upper corridor of the school hall. He doesn’t notice it but his fangirls followed his gaze towards you and whispered amongst them.

“What a bad girl. Please be nice your boyfriend girlies, we have feelings too. Or else, all of us will end up heartbroken like Mr. Jeon here” Mr. Yoon tuts playfully, patting Wonwoo on the back. You on the other hand notices the glares his fangirls threw your way, but you pay them no mind. Your eyes met with Seungkwan, the latter just nodding along signalling you he got what you were thinking about.

It’s almost the end of school day when your instincts prove you right. You were dragged by a bunch of girls to the swimming pool– pushed to stand on the edge while the rest of them surrounded you. You knew why they deliberately chose to drag you here, out of all the places in the school, because this is the only place Wonwoo would not come into. The safest place to assault someone because of him, in the name of ‘protecting’ him. Plus, it’s winter right now and the pool is out of bounds for the students.

“Are you Mr. Jeon’s ex-girlfriend?” one of them asked. She was the supposed leader of the fanclub, a self-proclaimed fan of the Math teacher. You remained stoic, showing no emotions on your face.

“I knew you were childhood friends with his brother, Seokmin. but , you dared to flirt with him too? And even broke his heart? And now you’re dating his brother?” another voice condemned.

“What has all that information has anything to do with you guys?” you questioned, unbothered.

“Aren’t you being a bitch right now?! You hurt Mr. Jeon’s feelings and now you’re playing with his brother. You think we’ll let a girl like you get close with them? Who do you think you are?” the leader yelled.

“Damn girl, your voice,” you winces, glaring at her. You stood up straighter, raising one eyebrows in a challenging manner.

“Do you think Mr. Jeon would appreciate you harrassing his ‘ex’ like this behind his back? Do you actually think he’d thanked you guys for dealing with his ‘ex’ for him? At the place he fears the most? Stop being delusional” you scoffed.

“We don’t care what he thinks. We’re dealing with you here because you don’t deserve to be around them at all. Not a poor girl like you with no dad! Mr. Jeon and Seokmin are precious, someone as disgusting as you doesn’t deserve to hover around them. We’re protecting them!”

“You don’t care what he thinks and yet you say you’re protecting them? What a contradiction. How can you guys be so selfish? It’s embarrassing” you chuckled, sarcasm heavy in your tone.

“Who do you think you are, you rude bitch?!” the leader screamed in your face, tugging at the collar of your coat harshly.

“I’m his student, who actually cares about what he thinks unlike you guys” you spat, successfully irritating the girls more. You only managed to hear the door to the pool bursts open and a shout before you were thrown into the water, your heavy backpack and thick coat pulling you down even more. Shucking off your backpack to lessen the weight, then you tried to remove your heavy coat. But you realized you’ll be drowned even before you manage to unbutton the fabric.

“Seungkwan-ah!” you gasped, hanging off the edge of the pool. You noticed it was Mr. Yoon who was scolding the girls and no Wonwoo in sight.

“Gosh, what happened to you?” Seungkwan muttered angrily, hauling you out of the water like a fish caught. You panted, breathing heavily as you lay down on the edge, gulping as much air as you could.

“What happened here? This is a prohibited place during winter. Did the school not tell you that? You are seniors already,” Mr. Yoon scolded, looking between you and the groupies.

“I don’t have anything to say. I was dragged here without consent” you answered, trembling from the cold of the wet clothes. Soonyoung burst in through the door a second later, towels and your gym clothes in his hands.

“What happened? Seungkwan told me to bring you your gym clothes and towels here?” he rushed, panicked to see your state.

“Go change first, we’ll talk after that” Mr. Yoon ordered. Seungkwan pulled you up to stand on your feet, then helped you shrugged the heavy fabric off your shoulders– leaving you in your uniform. You trotted to the bathroom with spare clothes in hand.

“You’re lucky its close to graduation that these kind of things happened. Or else, I’m not sure what the principal will do with you. Y/n, go collect your things from the pool, the rest of you go straight home” Mr. Yoon sighed. You just nodded and walked away, fetching your stuff that the janitor had helped fished out of the pool. You thanked them, wished them a happy holiday and began dragging the wet stuff behind you.

You told Seungkwan and Soonyoung to go first since they had to run errands for their family and Seokmin has gone home with his brother. You’re glad that the brothers weren’t around when something like this happened, because to you, it’s embarrassing. To be bullied at this age, and because of something so ridiculous. You’re used to be mocked as poor girl without a dad, you can take it all and it wasn’t as bad before because Seungkwan and Soonyoung were always there to chase off anyone who dares to open their mouth to insult you. But now that Wonwoo is here, it became terribly worse, just because you have that ‘childhood friend’ connection with him.

You won’t tell him what happened today either, because you refused to make him worry and blame himself. Wonwoo doesn’t deserve that. So, when Wonwoo appeared in front of your door teary-eyed that night, you knew things are about to go down real bad.

“I’m in love with Y/n”

Jisoo, who had just came home that day for Christmas went silent. His smile fell and the air around them hangs heavy. Your mom was with them in the living room too, while you were out with your friends for Christmas shopping. Wonwoo, who was sitting on his knees kept his head low, eyes staring at his fists that were clenching the fabrics of his slacks tightly on his lap.

“What? I didn’t catch you” Jisoo questioned, trying to put a smile on his face again.

“I’m in love with Y/n. I’ve been dating her for almost 3 months. And, I know that I shouldn’t keep this from you because you are my best friend. I’m sorry, Jisoo” Wonwoo explained. A punch was thrown, and the younger guy ended up on the floor, clutching his bruised cheek.

“She’s a minor, you bastard! And your student! Are you crazy??? She’s my baby!” Jisoo yelled, throwing punches after punches until he ended up straddling Wonwoo’s torso and hit him continuously.

“Jisoo! Stop, you’re hurting him” his mom called out.

“I trusted you! And this is what you did to me? You’re sick! Going after my sister behind my back?!!” Jisoo yelled, still punching him– not caring about his mom's cries. His best friend laid there, just taking the hits given to him without any fights at all.

You ran back home after getting a call from your mother, saying your brother is livid and has been beating the living out of his best friend, with your best friends in tow. As soon as you opened the door, your heart broke at the sight of Wonwoo, bloodied and pliant under your brother who was still screaming at him and punching his face.

“JISOO! ENOUGH!” You screamed, pulling him back by his shoulder only for you to receive a punch on your face too, making you stumble back.

“Jisoo! What are you doing?! It’s your sister!” your mom screamed, rushing towards you to make sure you’re okay. You stood up quickly, pulling your brother off Wonwoo with all your might and threw him on the couch.

“Take Wonwoo away, Seokmin. Call an ambulance, make sure he’s okay” you say before Jisoo yanks your hair harshly.

“YOU’RE SIDING WITH HIM?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” he yelled in your face.

“I should be the one to ask that! What’s wrong with you? He’s your best friend” you shouted back, trying to get him to release you.

“I have no best friend who’s a sicko like him! And you shouldn’t be around someone like that!” he exclaimed, throwing you away harshly until your side hits the coffee table.

“I’m turning 18 in 2 weeks! I can do what I wish. You have no control over me” you argued, only to earn you a harsh slap to your left cheek, making you fall to the floor, your lips cracking from the impact. You wince in pain, but the stinging in your scalp is back when your hair is pulled harshly again, to make you look at your brother. His eyes are crazy right now, it scares you to the core. Your mom froze on her spot to see his son beating up his sister for being in a relationship with his best friend but at this point, she wasn’t so sure what was the reason behind this fight anymore.

She looked to her right, to your three best friends, who was busy tending to Wonwoo, while waiting for the ambulance to arrive. Her eyes made contact with Soonyoung, who came up to her and pulled her into an embrace.

You didn’t realize how long had you been fighting with your brother, you feel lightheaded after bumping your head on the drawer when you’re struggling with Jisoo who went insane.

“I SENT YOU TO SCHOOL FOR YOU TO STUDY! NOT FOR YOU TO FLIRT WITH THIS MOTHERFUCKER! HOW MANY MORE BEATINGS SHOULD I GIVE YOU FOR YOU TO GET THAT IN YOUR STUPID BRAIN?!” another punch to your right cheek this time, before the weight on your body is pulled off of you.

Jisoo is being pulled away by police officers from what you could see with your blurry vision, Wonwoo being taken away into an ambulance with Seokmin following him. You saw Soonyoung who was patting your mom on the back to calm her crying, then you saw the phone clutched tightly in her hand. You heard Seungkwan calling for you from your side but your eyes locked with your mom's.

“I’m sorry, mom” you breathed before your vision turned black.

…

You opened your eyes three days later, in a hospital with only your mom with you. She looked sad and stressed. Her eyes are tired, there are bags under them. She told you that Seokmin, Seungkwan and Soonyoung had testified against Jisoo, for assaulting them and the judges are waiting for you to release his verdict.

“Are you sure you want to do this, mom? He’s your son” you say quietly, toying with your food. Your mom stayed silent, folding the towels and clothes into the cabinet as she tidied up your space.

“We can drop the charges and let him free, if you want. I mean, being in the prison must be hard for him–”

“And what? Let him hurt you again? He may be my son, but you are my daughter too. He went on about Wonwoo betraying his trust but he betrayed mine too! He hurt you behind my back. No, actually, this is my fault for always absent. For not being there for you, I was afraid that we wouldn’t get enough to eat to abandon your safety. You must have been so scared, my baby” your mother broke down. Her hands clutching at your shoulders tightly.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry…”

“Let’s get you to testify, okay? He deserves a punishment” your mom sobbed, and you only nodded.

When she learned how long you had been beaten by Jisoo, your mother broke down.

At the age of eleven, you had to face your brother's wrath even though it was never your fault to begin with. You had shielded your friends from Jisoo's assault when they accidentally knocked over a plate one day when they came over. It started light, with just a cane but Jisoo eventually lost his control seeing how well you took the beatings.

Seungkwan had begged you to tell your mom and asked for help, but you refused because you solely believed that might hurt Jisoo. You believed that Jisoo had become like this because he's been exhausted and overworked since you came to live with them. So the only way to help him is to let him punish you.

But what you didn't know is that he became addicted with that power he had over you. He had someone he can lash out to when something goes wrong.

"He told me it was for my own good, it was my punishment for being naughty. So, I gladly accepted it and kept quiet," you said silently, not looking the police officer in the eyes. Your mother felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest, punching the air out of her lungs.

"What's the worst injury he inflicted on you?" The officer asked, jotting down on his notebook.

"I broke my arm once when I tried to cover myself. Twisted my ankle when he pushed me down two flights of stairs and hit my head on the dresser a couple times" you tried not to look at your mom, when she let out a shuddering breath, she was seated on the chair next to your bed, trying to hold back her tears from falling.

The police officer turned towards your mother with a grim expression coloring his face. You knew it wouldn't be good news, Jisoo might be prisoned for more than a year, if you're well averse about the law. The two adults walked out of the room, to talk amongst themselves and you found yourself reaching for your phone on the side table.

There was a text from Seokmin, saying he's there too in the hospital with Wonwoo but his parents won't let him see you due to the situation with Jisoo.

'But, they're not here now,' was all it took for you to make a mad dash towards the upper floors where Wonwoo's ward was located. You got a stern scolding from the nurse to be careful which you only apologized sheepishly and continued your journey.

You saw Seokmin standing in front of a door to a ward room, scrolling down at his phone, with a worried look on his face.

"Seokmin," you called out weakly, feeling your muscles burn from your sudden spree. He saw you and quickly rushed towards you to pull you into his embrace. Seokmin was crying, apologizing for not coming to you quickly.

"It's fine. There's nothing you can do. Your parents must have their reasons to not let me see you anymore" you say but he shook his head, pulling away to look at you with teary eyes and a pout on his pretty face.

"You know you'll always be my best friend right? I'll find a way to go see you after this, so don't be sad, okay? I'll bring Wonu too" he sobbed, unable to stop the tears streaming down his cheeks. He said that, but he's crying harder than you are. But, only because Seokmin is such a pure soul who is so sensitive about everything, and tends to cry easily, especially at other people's misery.

You followed the boy into the ward room to check on his brother, and your heart broke yet again at the sight of your boyfriend. His beautiful face was littered with red and purple bruises everywhere, lips cracked at the sides, cuts on his forehead and the underside of his brow.

"I'm sorry that I let this happen to you," you croaked, gently caressing his face with your knuckles. Wonwoo stirred in his sleep, brows furrowing. You reached for something in the pocket of your coat, something that you stuffed there in a rush to get home from shopping the other day.

It was a box of a silver bracelet that you bought for him. It wasn't really expensive, but you still worked your ass off for it. It was a simple silver bracelet, with a diamond shaped piece with his name and a cute cat as charms.

You put it on him, loving the way it dangles around his left wrist prettily. Seokmin was guarding the door, constantly checking his phone in case his parents decided to come back.

"I have to go now. I'll come back to you again, when the time is right, I promise. I love you so much" you sobbed, kissing the crown of his hair and forehead. Seokmin, who heard what you said, turned his head towards you so quickly he almost gave himself a whiplash, eyes widening in terror.

"What… What are you saying? You're talking like you want to go somewhere far. Like you won't see us again. What are you planning?!" He urged, panic lacing in his voice. He grabbed your arms, squeezing them tightly without meaning to and only stopped when you wince in pain.

"What are you planning? Don't go, don't go anywhere. You know none of this was your fault right? You couldn't have guessed he would do that to my brother, to his best friend! You did everything you could, Y/n, don't go" Seokmin pleaded, fat droplets of tears rolling down his face again. He's hiccuping now, from how bad he's sobbing, shaking your smaller form to listen to him.

You don't say anything, only smiling sadly at him which made him break down even more. You pulled him into a hug, rubbing circles on his back as he sobbed.

"I'm sorry, Seokmin. Please tell Seungkwan and Soonyoung too. I love you guys so much. Thank you for being my friends" you choked, voice breaking at the end.

Just like that, you disappeared from their life.

10 years later.

You arrived at the lobby for the engagement party that will be held on the garden rooftop of the hotel. Nervously, you stood in front of the large mirror to check your outfit and makeup. You were wearing a long, backless, black satin slip dress with cowl neck, and spaghetti straps. There's a slit up to your thigh, and you wore a pair of black pumps to match the dress, and a small clutch bag in your hand.

You haven't attended an engagement party in a while, much less one of your closest friends is the host so you're very nervous. You took a very long time to choose the outfit, until you thought black is the safest option, so you went with it.

Glancing at the mirror one last time, you sighed heavily before making way towards the elevator. It was early spring, still a bit chilly but the weather was so nice and the flowers started to bloom already, decorating the glass hall with beautiful colors.

Pushing open the heavy set of doors, your eyes met with the ones you haven't met in 10 years, one of your best friends, Seungkwan.

“You bitch, is that really you Hong Y/n?!” He screamed, gaining the attention of the small crowd who was already there. You cowered, not liking the attention, pressing your pointer finger on your lips to shut him up.

“Did you know how long I've been trying to find you?! You didn't even tell me you're leaving, you nasty piece of shit and now you're suddenly back?! How dare you, you bastard–” Seungkwan cursed before he practically bawled his eyes out right then and there.

“Seungkwan-ah, no! Not now, please, I'm sorry” you begged, pulling him into your arms trying to hold back your tears. You know you will cry tonight, the only reason you're putting on absolutely waterproof makeup tonight, but you still try not to cry, at least not this early into the party.

“I miss you, you piece of shit. How are you alive without me? Who reminded you to take all those vitamins if it's not me?! At least you're looking so snatched so I'm not gonna be ashamed to admit you as my best friend” He grumbled, pulling away to look at your face as fat tears still rolled down his eyes.

“It's you, I was reminded of your voice nagging me all the time, if I dared to skip my vitamins. Thank you for keeping me alive, even from far away” you laughed, wiping his tears with your thumbs. He rolled his eyes at you, while muttering a small “of course”.

“Come on, Soonyoung's with the DJ. He needs to see you” he said, tangling your arms together and navigating you through the hall to go meet Soonyoung. But, you bumped into someone you missed so dearly on the way there. The reason why you left South Korea in the first place to study abroad.

“Wonwoo-hyung! Y/nie is back! See!” Seungkwan chirped excitedly. Wonwoo was frozen in his spot, eyes wide open as saucers. He still looked dashing as always, in his black suit with black tie, hair slicked black neatly with black horn-rimmed glasses decorating his handsome face. His obsidian jewel met yours, there's flashes of emotions in them and you could even see them turned glassy before someone interrupted your moment.

“Wonu, who's this?” Someone asked, it was a woman's voice and you barely managed to hold your glare before turning towards the voice. She was standing close to Wonwoo's side, looking up at him before turning towards you, giving you once over.

“It's my best friend, Y/nie. Y/n, this is Yul-noona. Wonwoo-hyung’s… er…” Seungkwan trailed, looking everywhere until the lady connected the sentence.

“Future fiancée. I'm his future fiancée” she answered, holding out her hand for you to shake. A smile curls on her lips. You could see Wonwoo's jaw tightened, the look in his eyes hardened, like he didn't want to be there, as if he wished the ground would just open up and swallow him.

“I'm Hong Y/n. The old friend. Nice to meet you” you smiled, it was fake, but still a smile– shaking her hand. You swore you could see the hurt in the older man's eyes when you introduced yourself as the old friend, nothing more than that. She couldn't see this, but you know Wonwoo's hinting something towards you, he's letting you see the emotions in his eyes but there's nothing you can do.

Of course, you expected this. No one is willing to wait for someone that long. People are bound to get tired at some point. It wasn't Wonwoo's fault that he found someone to replace you. In fact, you dated some guys too, when you're trying to move on from him. But you broke it all off because it wasn't fair for them. But still, it still hurts like a bitch to see him with a woman that's not you. Wonwoo is making plans to have a family with a woman that's not you, and you couldn't do anything about it.

You excused yourself with Seungkwan in search of Soonyoung, and you could see the latter was babbling nonsense at the DJ who looked so done before the party even started. You laughed.

“Kwon Soonyoung!” Seungkwan called out, pointing towards you as soon as the said male turned towards him. Soonyoung visibly gasped, before jumping off the stage to make a dash towards you. He practically swept you off your feet as he twirled you around before embracing you in a tight hug.

“I miss you!! How the hell did you end up here, not that that matters because I'm so happy to see you again but how the hell?!!” he cried, pulling away, squishing your cheeks with both of his hands.

“I met her at a conference 2 years ago and have been in contact since then. So I invited her today,” a voice answered from behind Soonyoung. It was the soon-to-be groom himself, Seokmin.

“Minie~” you coo, moving to give him a hug too which he gladly accepted with tiny jumps.

“WHAT THE FUCK?! 2 YEARS?? AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO TELL US?!” Seungkwan barked, pulling you away from Seokmin to nag at him, eyes blazing with betrayal.

“DID YOU NOT TRUST US TOO JUST LIKE HOW Y/NIE AND WONWOO-HYUNG KEPT THEIR RELATIONSHIP A SECRET FROM US 10 YEARS AGO?!” Soonyoung added. You flinched from their loud voices, and you could feel all eyes looking at you, including Wonwoo and Yul’s.

“Let's not do this here, I was just respecting Y/n’s decision. She wasn't ready to come back so I wanted to give her time” Seokmin reasoned. The two calmed down almost immediately, frown disappearing as they looked over your form and crowd over you to pull you into a hug.

The rest of the party went smoothly, it was fun. As it turns out, Seokmin's fiancée was your roommate back in college. She went back to Korea as soon as you graduated and you haven't had the chance to reconnect with her until now. You were really happy for them, because they really suit each other, and are so sickeningly in love. What a small world.

You were just sitting at your table, watching the couple dance to the slow beat of the song, while your other two rowdy friends were going around practically everywhere, hyping up the crowd.

“Can I sit next to you?” A voice asked and you just agreed without thinking, only to see that it was Wonwoo. You froze.

“They're still rowdy as always, aren't they?” He chuckled, trying to make a conversation with you. You just smiled and nodded.

“How are you doing? I haven't seen you in so long” he inquired, slowly swirling the glass of red wine in his hand.

“I'm fine. Just alive and breathing,” you say with a sigh. You couldn't understand why it hurts to talk to him again. Maybe because your heart still yearns for him but he doesn't reciprocate that.

You were the one who left him– your mind supplies helpfully.

“How are you?” You asked, wouldn't want to seem rude and uncaring. He was silent for a while before letting out a rather heavy exhale.

“To be honest, when you left, I wasn't myself. I went insane. I went crazy, I was mad. I cried every single day. I can't accept the fact that you left me. But then I remembered I was the one who left first. I remember Seokmin telling me how sad and heartbroken you were. Even at that time, it must have been very heartbreaking for you too, wasn't it?” Wonwoo said, his voice was soft and soothing and you missed it so bad. You were silent, so he continued.

“I'm sorry that I didn't notice you were in pain. I'm sorry that you had to go through all those painful moments alone. You were so small, but you're so strong at the same time. Seokmin told me that you protected me with your body that day too. Thank you, for being so brave, Y/n” he added, his voice faltering, dark eyes glimmering with unshed tears under the lights. He reached out to give your hand a squeeze, and immediately, droplets of tears fell on his knuckles when you looked down to see how easily he covered your smaller hand in his bigger ones.

Wonwoo almost wants to pull you towards him and give you kisses until you calmed down. You were whimpering sadly, like you're in pain but he had to settle with just squeezing your tiny hands for comfort.

“I'm going to the toilet, please excuse me” you stood up abruptly from your seat to leave the hall in search of a washroom. You left your clutch bag on the table so Wonwoo took it to bring it to you.

–

“Why are you doing this?! She's your sister!”

“It's not about my sister. It's about you! Stop dragging her into this!”

“What about me? Why can't you understand that I don't want him? I love you! And I know you do too,”

“No! Why are you settling for someone like me?! Wonwoo is a good guy, he can take good care of you, you two can be happy together–”

“We can't! We've tried this for almost a year, Jisoo. It won't work. Our hearts won't let us be together. I don't want him and he doesn't want me too. He loves someone else and you know that too!”

You froze when you heard Jisoo's name. You turned around to see Wonwoo behind you with your clutch in his hand. He had a sullen expression on his face. You turned back to confront the arguing pair, your eyes widened when you saw your brother.

“Y/n why– how are you here?” Jisoo stuttered, his eyes not believing what he saw in front of him.

“Why?” You asked., trying your hardest to stay calm despite your almost leaping out of your chest.

“Why what? What are you saying?” He questioned.

“Why did you say ‘why are you settling for someone like me’? What's wrong with you?” You retorted fist clenching at your sides to hide the fact that you're still shaking at the sight of your brother.

“Everything is wrong with me! You out of all people should know that. You didn't remember what I did to you? To your friends? To my best friend?” He asked.

“Mom told me you've been reflecting on yourself, going on therapies and you've been doing so well. So what's with you degrading yourself like this?” You gritted out. Jisoo was taken aback that you've been keeping up with him through your mom. He didn't think you'd care about him anymore after what he did to you. He thought you'd hate him.

“I don't deserve to be loved anymore after what I did to my baby sister, Y/n” he croaked, trying to hold back his tears.

“Who said that? These people know you're trying, I know. So what else matters?”

“Y/n…” Jisoo called, taking a step towards you which you responded by jumping back involuntarily, startled.

“You're still afraid of me,” he frowned.

“I- I do. But it doesn't mean that I hate you. I don't. And you're still my only brother. But give me some time to be able to be near you again. So don't do that, don't push the people who love you away. You've suffered enough” you rushed to answer. Jisoo's frown melted into a soft smile. His hand reached out to hold Yul’s, squeezing it softly.

“Do you still love him?” Jisoo asked you. You were silent for a bit and you could hear a breath hitched from behind you.

“I do. Even after all these years, all these mess and pains. I still love him very much. Even if I tried dating other guys, I only ended up breaking their hearts because I couldn't let him go. Even if he doesn't love me anymore, I still do” you breathed, the tears that had stopped a while ago coming back, wetting your cheeks.

Your brother stared at the person behind you, a soft and apologetic smile pursed on his face.

“You have your answer,” he said. Immediately, that person is intertwining his fingers with yours, tugging you along with him to who knows where. You arrived at the parking lot, and before you could comprehend anything, Wonwoo is shoving a helmet on your head, buckling it securely. He then zipped up a leather jacket around you that he stored under the seat of his big motorbike.

“Hop on,” he called out, staring at you with shiny and hopeful eyes but you're not entirely sure if your dress tonight is made for bike riding but who cares about that when you have gleaming kitten eyes in front of you.

Wonwoo made you wrap your arms around him securely after you finished tucking your skirt so the fabrics won't get caught in the rims.

“What the fuck!! Wonwoo, too fast!” You screamed as he zoomed away through the night, passing buildings and trees. You're not sure where he's taking you but you just got to trust him. You ended up in another parking lot, this time it was in an apartment complex.

It was somewhat familiar, maybe you have been here before but you’re not remembering it clearly. But then it came back to you in slow motions, as Wonwoo guided you through the hallway towards his apartment. He let you in as you took hesitant steps, removing your heels at the doorway as he shuffled inside, turning on the lights to illuminate the dark apartment. It was just as you remember, the change being he has more shelves now and there’s cat towers, box houses and playpens.

“I’m home,” he said and a bunch of furry little kids, three to be exact– surround him in an instant. They were all black. He immediately took a seat in the middle of the living room to let those kids hover around him, asking for attention. A curious little one sneaked on you, sniffing at your legs who was still standing awkwardly at the doorway. A thought appeared in your head and you looked at Wonwoo who only smiled as if he understood what you were thinking.

“Are they Mong’s family?” you asked, remembering the black cat that you picked up from the street on your way home from school back then.

“Yeah. One of them was her child. The other two, I adopted them 3 years ago,” he explained. You looked around, for a sign of Mong, thinking she might be sleeping or hiding as she’s a senior already.

“Mong had passed. Last week. She had missed you terribly ever since you left, barely survived when she was delivering, only one of her litters survived, who are looking at you right now. We stayed together comforting each other these whole time but I think she needed to rest now. I kept her ash after cremation in case you’d want to see her when you came back,” he says, standing up to take your hand and tug you towards the glass shelf next to his TV. he showed you the small urn that kept your beloved pet’s ashes and the small memorial space he made for her.

“I’m sorry I was so late…” you croaked, choking up on your tears again.

“Since when have you become such a cry baby? My Y/n was very brave back then” he chuckled, teasing you as he pulled you into his warm embrace. You love the way he called you as ‘his’, your heart fluttering in your chest. Inhaling his musky scent, you let your head rest on his broad shoulder.

“It’s you. For me, it’s still you. The one for me, it’s still you. It has never changed, after all these time, no matter how far apart we are, for me it’s still you. Even when you weren’t here with me, the way I live resemble you. I was able to be brave because you taught me to, and that I knew you’ll come back, eventually. I won’t let you go anymore, not anymore, ever. I love you, Y/n. i love you very, very much. Will you please be mine again?”

He was hugging you so closely to his chest, letting you hear his frenzied heartbeat, large hands at the small of your back and one your nape. You were silent because you’re basking in his warmth but he mistook it for disagreement so he pulled away, to look at you, panic in his eyes.

“I’m sorry for proposing like this, I promise I’ll buy you rings, I’ll buy you a house, a car if that’s what you want, anything, can you please let me be yours again? I promise I’ll bring you a ring next time, tomorrow even! Please be mine–” he rambled, eyes looking everywhere until you squish his cheeks with your hands. His eyes blinked in confusion.

“Nonu, calm down!” you laughed softly at his panicked state, your eyes crinkling. Thumbs gently caressing his handsome face as you stared at him. Wonwoo calmed down when he saw the look in your eyes.

He realized you weren’t planning to go anywhere anymore, that you're right there, in front of him, ready to listen to whatever he has to say. Not moving even an inch away from his hold. You're there, with him, at last.

The dam to his waterlines broke, clear droplets streaming down like waterfalls. The relief washing his form to know that you're finally there, in his arms is beyond his imagination. He couldn't utter how happy he is at the moment, how grateful he felt.

“It's still you” he choked out, pulling you flush against him, face hiding in the crook of your neck. Hands resting on your hips, he let out shuddered breaths, before wrapping his arms tighter around your torso, engulfing you fully in his warmth. You curled your own set of arms around his neck, fingers playing with his hair on his nape while your other hand patted his back comfortingly.

“It's still you for me too. I love you, Wonu. I'm all yours. Has always been and will always be,” you whispered into his ears. He pulled away again to stare at you, your eyes twinkling under the dim lighting of his living room. You wipe away his tears with your thumb, cooing at how cute he looked, like a lost kitten and he pouted, before a smile crawling across his features again. He nuzzled his nose with yours, slowly leaning and capturing your lips in a soft kiss, sealing the vow of love you shared.

He misses this, misses your touch and your lingering scent floating around him, burning his skin. Before he could deepen the kiss, you pulled away in a hurry, scrambling to find your clutch bag that you've forgotten.

“What's wrong?” He asked, tone heavy with concern as he eyes your form crouching down on the floor to pull something out of the bag. His eyes widened when he saw a black velvet box with matching rings in it. The design was simple and elegant but he could tell how much thought you put into it. To say he was impressed was an understatement, because it was beyond that. You never fail to amaze him.

“I did say I'll come back to you again when the time is right. So, I've been preparing these for almost a year and got this custom made to our sizes and designed it according to our preference. But you were planning to get engaged with someone else?! I almost threw it in your face!” you say before ended up grumbling cutely at him, a pout on your lips.

He laughed at you, no wonder you were trying so hard not to glare at Yul when she came to him earlier. Instead of being disappointed, you were actually mad that someone tried to take him away from you. This side of you has always been amusing to him.

“Why are you laughing? Did you not see how close she was standing next to you? Are you sure you deserve this? Or, I will return it to the store later–”

“We love each other right? We just sealed our vows with a kiss. Am I not the rightful lover of yours? I wanna be yours, so you should put a mark on me so that today's incident won't happen again. If it did, you can just give them your hardest glare, babe. You looked so hot earlier,” he snickered, arms coiling around your waist.

“Are you playing with me right now?” You eyed him suspiciously. He grinned lopsidedly, before shaking his head, then planting kisses all over your face.

“I'm all yours, baby. But, I'll buy us our rings next time. I can't let my baby be my provider even though I know you're more than able to afford it now. But, give me my chance to pamper you like a spoilt princess you deserve to be” he coos. You finally laugh, finding it ridiculous how you're all tears earlier and all of sudden, bickering like you used to be out of jealousy and adoration. He smiles when you slide the ring onto his ring finger and he does the same to you, ending it with a kiss to your ring finger.

You kissed again, passionately this time, with a promise to stay together through life, never running away from each other again. Promising to still be each other's lover until the end of time.

-Fin-

[jellogram]

Jesus Christ Superstar is genuinely emotionally annihilating. It's about fate. It's about the tragedy of being condemned from birth. What if the villain never had a choice, what if he was just as bound by destiny as the hero? What if nobody wanted it to end this way and it still does? What if Jesus never wanted to die? It's about guilt. It's about dread. It's about not realizing what story you're in until it's too late. It's about Jesus singing insanely high rock vocals. It's about Judas in a fringe disco getup. It's everything.