#There are plenty of ways to end oneself

[madou-dilou]

He may have been rejected, humiliated, heartbroken, and so alarmed about an imminent invasion that he thought the reason of the state demanded that he rush and botch the funeral... Still, I can't imagine he didn't take at least one moment to say goodbye to his friend.

My first computer drawing! Done while listening to The Prince that was promised OST from House of the Dragon.

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Everyone Else Is No.2 {One-Shot}***

Lewis Hamilton x Attorney Friend Reader

Warning: Cursing, NSFW, Mature 18+ Content, Angst, PLENTY OF WORDS, DIALOGUE HEAVY

Words: 15.2k

Summary: Again, nah.

Note: Inspired by that old August Alsina song "Kissing on My Tattoos". So sorry for how long it is and for the long sentences toward the end, it couldn't be any other way. Forgive the weird spacing throughout, Tumblr has a 1,000 block limit per post, and guess who reached it before correcting the spacing.

Note II: Really interested in hearing what you guys think about this one. Let me know.

As always, thank you guys for reading! I appreciate it. I hope you enjoy this.

If you did enjoy this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!!

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

-Y/N-

"You're beautiful you know that right?"

You smiled and took a sip of your drink.

"Thanks."

The man sitting across from you, Darius, nodded and before he looked down to his plate you caught his eyes drop to your cleavage. Of course, you thought. This was your 2nd date with him. The first went smoothly though you'd went with little to no expectations for it to be so. Tonight, he said the right things, did the right things, and was the perfect gentleman.

He'd even chosen a great restaurant. The ambiance was perfect for a second date. So far you had only counted 2 things that were less than satisfactory, everything was on point. He was so on point that you wondered if he was acting and not being his genuine self.

You hated the dating scene. Everyone held their cards too close to their chest. No one was ever real about anything. Everyone liked to waste people's time all in the name of fun and sex. These days you only treated dating as a pastime and a way to relieve stress after long hours of working on briefs and reviewing case files.

"A woman with your track record in law. Wheeew. Was it hard?"

You shrugged then wiped the corner of your mouth, "It definitely wasn't easy. I still remember the sleepless nights, and times when I only had 1 meal a day. My parents still remember not seeing me for 3 months because of the bar and my first major case that came nearly right behind the other. They won't let me forget it."

"It looks like it paid off. You're on the partner track. Shit, you'd be the first woman under 35 to make that happen at Halsey Boyd and Crenshaw," Darius said.

You bristled, but politely smiled and took another sip of your wine.

"I'm sorry I don’t mean to make this weird I'm just in awe of you."

You studied him for a few moments but found no lie. You could always tell a lie. No matter what the case, no matter who it was. It was your secret weapon and it served you well as a lawyer.

"Thank you, but enough about me. What about you? Tell me about Darius Forrester."

He smiled, licked his lips then looked you directly in the eye.

"I'm pretty much a what you see you get kind of guy. I've been at Berry & Clark for the last 6 years as a criminal attorney. The work is challenging but I do alright for myself.

You nodded. He did. From what you heard his win ratio was nearly 92% and he took upstanding cases. He was a good attorney. Normally you wouldn’t shit where you ate because mess was not your style. You did not want to walk into a courtroom or boardroom and see the opposing counsel was an ex. That one thing gave you nightmares.

So dating lawyers was out of the question. You dipped in every other career field, playing it safe. The further they were from a law career the better. However, after a conversation with your other lawyer girlfriends about limiting oneself in the already limited dating pool, something clicked, and you decided to try it once but only if they weren't in your firm. Darius was your first attempt.

As he continued to tell you facts about himself you listened, but he didn't have your full attention. There was another person who held your attention, a person who though was usually out of sight was never really out of mind.

You heard your phone sound from your clutch resting on the table and both your eyes shot to it. Darius spoke before you moved.

"Go ahead please."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm an attorney as well, Y/N I know you come attached to it."

You smiled, held up your finger to him silently promising it would be quick, then took your phone in hand. You expected it to be Kemi, your paralegal, with files you were expecting, but it wasn't her name on your screen.

MSG Lewis: What're you doing tonight? Going over an endless to-do list of contracts and briefs?

You smirked.

MSG: Not even close.

MSG Lewis: Wow did someone finally decide to live a little and cut loose?

MSG: This sounds an awful lot like the pot calling the kettle black.

MSG Lewis: Plead the 5th.

MSG: The Lewis Hamilton out maneuvered. Say it ain't so.

MSG: I'm close to your place. Just got back in town. Can you be ready in 10?

Your eyes flitted to Darius across from you who was taking the time to check his messages as well. You looked over him slowly, noting again how great he looked in his suit and how you liked the effort he had put in the last 2 dates down to the flowers he brought you and the activities you'd done. Things could progress if you chose to allow them to.

MSG Lewis: Is that a no?

MSG: I'm not home.

MSG Lewis: Okay. Where you at, the office? I can come pick you up.

MSG: I'm not at the office. I'm actually on a date.

You waited a few seconds, but he didn’t reply. Why didn't he reply?

"Everything ok?"

Caught off guard, you looked back up to Darius whose eyes were already on you. His brows were knitted with concern.

"Uh--yeah. I uh--I think so."

"A case?"

You thought about it and technically he was right. You were Lewis' entertainment lawyer. You were his personal attorney who reviewed the contracts after the company attorney said they had. You gave it to him between the eyes, never sugarcoating, and told him what was made with his best interest and what was made to capitalize off of him. However, when your services weren’t needed you were friends. Had been for practically a decade now.

Sometimes you couldn’t believe you’d known each other that long. You’d known him since he was just another F1 driver rather than the greatest. He knew you when you were going through school always on an empty tank all in the hopes of rising above the tax bracket you were born into. A decade later and he was dominating F1 and you’d more than risen yourself several levels past the tax bracket you’d been born into.

You were on the partner track at one of the largest firms in Europe. You brought in more revenue than most of the attorneys at the firm thanks to your high-class clientele. You'd both worked your asses off to get to this level and enjoyed the spoils of your labor often. You clubbed together, went to dinner, and sometimes did the vacation vibe together. You enjoyed one another’s company.  

"A client."

"Oh. Everything cool or---," Darius said.

Another message came in just then. "Everything is cool."

Darius smiled. "Good. I'll be right back, men’s room."

"Yeah."

Darius stood then walked off leaving you with the perfect opportunity to check your phone.

MSG Lewis: Is that right?

MSG: Yeah. 2nd date. Well technically 3rd if you can have 2 dates in one day.

MSG Lewis: Cool. Is it going well?

MSG: Yeah. He's made it this far.

MSG Lewis: Cool.

MSG: When he drops me home Ill text you. Come get me then.

Several moments passed before he replied. Again, you wondered why.

MSG Lewis: Cool.

The remainder of dinner you were distracted. Darius played all his cards right, even scoring himself the green light on a little hand-holding action. You had to admit he was smooth. When he pulled up to your condo building he walked you to your door then went in for a kiss. You hadn’t expected it, but rather than pull away, you allowed it to play out. It wasn’t a bad kiss. He hadn’t been too overzealous, only slipped you a little tongue, and had kept his hands respectful. All in all, for a first kiss it was a solid 8.

With a promise to call to set date number 4 sometime next week, you went inside and allowed yourself to come down. The dating scene was not something you enjoyed often. You always felt like you were performing, like men wanted a certain kind of woman, the perfect woman who they could prance around on their arm to make other men envious and that took its toll.

You never felt you had to perform with Lewis. Never felt like he wanted the perfect you. He made fun of you whenever you were perfectly put together for work meetings and said many times he liked you out of the makeup and heels. After another sigh, you took your phone out and texted him.

~~~~~~

-Lewis-

The ceiling looked like every other ceiling he’d ever seen but that didn’t stop him from focusing most of his attention on it like it was the most interesting piece of construction ever. His eyes should have been focused elsewhere but they weren’t. A loud 'slurp' echoed in the mostly quiet room reminding him again that he wasn’t alone.

"Mm. Why are you so distracted tonight, bae?"

Julissa's voice was as smooth as honey and as seductive as ever. He lowered his eyes to where she was kneeling between his legs and took her in. Her lips and chin were wet as she gave him her bedroom eyes. This was not the first time between them. Usually, it would work but not tonight. Tonight he was struggling to even keep his head in the room.

He watched her tip her tongue out and lick from the base of his dick to the glistening tip. Once there she swirled her tongue around him then sucked his head into her mouth. He’d have to be dead for it not to feel nice but that’s all it was--nice.

He sighed then brought his attention back to the ceiling. "Work."

"Aw babe, when you’re with me work should be the last thing on your mind," Julissa said before lowering her mouth down his shaft. When he felt her tonsils he groaned. His body wanted to like this wanted to give her the reaction she was working so hard for, but something was holding him back. Julissa's mouth bobbed up and down his cock sucking and slurping to her heart’s content trying to get him off, but he knew she had her work cut out for her.

He thought back to your text from 2 hours ago. You were on a date. Well shit, he hadn’t seen that coming. That was the last thing he had expected you to be doing tonight. It wasn’t because you weren’t desirable, or he thought no man would want you. For fuck's sake, you were beyond desirable, you were gorgeous and so damn intelligent. He couldn’t figure out which of those made you more beautiful, your looks or your brains. You also worked hard to be where you were, and you deserved all the praise and attention you got wherever you went.

However, sometimes he wished you got a little less male attention--x that, a lot less male attention. He sighed again. This had been going on for 10 years now. Your friendship had only strengthened but along with a strengthening friendship came a lot of other stuff. Stuff like him taking notice of the fullness of your hips or being tempted to peek when you’d been changing in the backseat of his car, or being painfully aware of how your breasts felt against his chest when you hugged.

That coupled with things he had picked up from you, made the unspoken and ignored things that much more—confusing. There were times when the way you stared at him when you thought he wasn’t looking spoke volumes or the way your hand always lingered on him for a few seconds longer than necessary but not long enough for it to be inappropriate, or the time you'd fallen asleep together on the couch and he'd woken to you wrapped around him using him as your personal body pillow and mumbling his name in your sleep.

Yeah, there was a lot of extra stuff, stuff neither of you ever addressed. The only ones who assessed it were his friends. Miles told him on several occasions that he should be careful before he or you fucked around, and someone ended up hurt. That stuck with him, but not in the way Miles had probably meant it. Rather than taking it the way Miles meant, he used it as a means to keep himself in check, a form of prevention from him crossing the line. He knew if he did, neither of you would be able to go back. It would be impossible and was one fuck up worth a decades-long friendship?

So friends were where you stayed until he added another facet--professional. Years passed, dates passed, flings, non-labeled encounters on both your parts passed and through it all your friendship remained, and nothing changed. Except today there was even more extra stuff.

The feel of Julissa’s lips wrapped around his balls sent his hips jerking upward as a curse left his lips. Julissa moaned and giggled.

“Daddy likes that?”

He knew how he would like it more. As quickly as he revved to that thought he steered away from it. That was when his phone sounded.

MSG Y/N: I’m home. Whatdaya you wanna do? Should I change?

His eye caught the time. 1am. Almost 3 hours from your last text and you were only now getting home. Clenching his jaw he took a deep breath. He had no right to be mad or annoyed right now. He knew where this was coming from. You’d been on a date, and you said it was going well. A date going well had a chance of making it upstairs. He closed his eyes squeezing them tightly. He hoped to God that you hadn’t just gotten it in.

MSG Y/N: Hello?

MSG: You don’t have to change. How about some treats and a view?

MSG Y/N: Okay. Still 10?

MSG: Make it 15.

Pulling himself up he reached down to stop Julissa. She looked confused.

“I gotta go J.”

Now she looked even more confused. He didn’t owe her an explanation, that’s not how this worked between them.

“With your dick out?”

He scoffed then fixed himself as he stood.

“Lewis this’s never happened before. Are--,” she began before he cut her off.

“All good, just—not in the mood I guess.”

She looked offended now. “I’m sorry J. We’ll talk.”

He walked to the door then left her apartment without a glance back. He didn’t feel any way about it because both of them knew what their relationship was and wasn’t. She’d agreed. Once he was in his car, he zipped through the London streets maneuvering the quickest route to your place. Thanks to the time it was an easy drive with minimal traffic. 15 minutes on the dot he swerved around to the front of your luxury condo building then sent you a text letting you know he was there.

A few minutes later, he peeped you from the corner of his eye. You walked off the elevator in a short and tight black dress, impossibly high strappy black heels, and a flowy robe-like jacket that danced behind you as you walked.

“Fuck.”

You were beautiful. Just then the thought that you’d gone on a date dressed like this rubbed him wrong. Some other man had seen this view, a view you gave willingly. Clenching his jaw, he looked through his windshield as he tried to push all those thoughts—all that other stuff to the side as he’d done countless times before. He looked back just in time to see you open the door of his car then climb in. His eyes dropped to your legs but seconds later he corrected that.

“Hi!”

Your smile was bright as if you really were as happy to see him as your voice indicated.

“Hey.”

You reached over and pressed your cheek to his for a bougie kiss. The only thing he could think was that you smelled like a treat all by yourself.

“How are you?”

“Good. You?”

“Good. Wow, what’s it been? 2 months?”

He shrugged as he shifted gears and took off. “Something like that.”

“Mercedes sure knows how to keep you busy,” you teased.

He tried to focus on the road but from his peripheral, he could see you crossing your legs displaying even more skin.

“What were you doing? You smell like fruits.”

He chastised himself because he hadn’t done a bit of cleaning up before he came. His only thought was you. Julissa’s fruity lip gloss still stained his dick that he couldn’t manage to get hard for her.

“Nowhere special. Just kickin’ it.”

You didn’t press further which said you knew just what he was doing. He clenched his jaw again, this time annoyed with himself. As he drove to the dessert place you told him about what was going on in your life while he shared some bits of his with you. Like always conversation flowed like a calm river. It was something he loved. It didn’t take long for him to pull up to the drive-thru of the vegan dessert shop. When it was his turn at the window he tipped his hat lower and left the ordering to you.

You ordered damn near everything on the menu. You didn’t care if it was cake, cupcake, ice cream, brownie, or whipped cream. You ordered at least 2 of everything. It took the staff a good 5 minutes to prepare it all and when he loaded them in the backseat it was completely filled. When he looked at you with an “are you serious right now” look, all you did was giggle. Fuck, he thought. There went all that extra stuff again.

“There is no way we can finish all this,” he said looking at the bags they’d moved to the front since parking at their destination.

“Speak for yourself. I always have room for sugar, sugar.”

He snorted then shook his head. “Mad whack.”

Your jaw dropped as you gaped at him, and you looked too fucking adorable. You sifted through the bags until you found the dessert you wanted—the vanilla bean cheesecake. Your eyes lit up as you gawked at the large slice that was topped with white chocolate shavings. “It's so pretty,” you gushed.

He watched you snap picture after picture of the treat before you took your first forkful. When you did, your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you let out a completely indulgent, hearty, and dick-hardening moan. The fuck, he thought as his dick spasmed to life. Quickly he moved one of the bags to his lap and looked out the window.

“This is so good,” you obliviously said still munching on cake.

He pulled out the vegan chocolate truffle cake and took a bite. It too was good.

“That looks good. Is it?”

“Try it,” he said holding out a forkful to your mouth.

You paused for a split second then cut off a piece of your cheesecake before you held your fork to his mouth.

“You try too.”

The image that came to mind was that of a new husband and wife feeding each other wedding cake and with it, his throat went dry. He knew if he tried to speak he’d sound like a pre-pubescent boy, so he wrapped his lips around your fork taking the piece of cake then fed you his. Your eyes lingered on one another for a few moments nut when you moaned again his dick spasmed again. with that he turned his head so fast that he was surprised he hadn’t snapped his own neck in the process.

“So good,” you repeated.

The two of you sat there commenting on the desserts you went through in record time. He didn’t indulge in sweets often but when he did he found it was usually with your sugar-addicted ass. You said there were 4 things in life you would never give up, sugar, your favorite perfume, your favorite underwear set, and sex. He believed you on all points. When there were only a few pieces of cake left the silence in the car stretched.

“So—a date huh.”

“A date.”

“I thought you gave up dating.”

You took a deep breath then slowly released it before turning your body at an angle facing him. The hem of your dress hiked a little higher and he forced himself to look away.

“I did. Then I got bored and he asked.”

“What does he do?”

You didn’t answer automatically, instead, you took another forkful or 2 of cake, then you spoke.

“He’s an attorney.”

“I thought you didn’t date attorneys.”

“I don’t but me and the girls were talking, and it clicked that by x-ing out a whole career field greatly decreased me finding someone who could stick around.”

He paused. Stick around? This was new.

“Stick around? Are you—are you looking for something—serious?”

You took a beat then shrugged. “I don’t know. I thought the other day, I have everything I have ever wanted. I am on this partner track, I make very high 6 figures, I have a great condo, my mental health is amazing, I have no debt, no baby daddies or drama, I—I’m kinda a catch but I go to sleep alone 98% of my nights. I come home to an empty place, I have no meaningful text exchanges, there is—nothing fulfilling in my life. I began to wonder if it was time to change all of that last bit.”

Silence stretched again as he thought over your words while studying you. This was the first time he’d heard you speak like this. Usually, you changed the subject or downplayed having any other thoughts than fun, sex, and work. Now hearing the vulnerability in your voice he knew you’d come to a point where all of this, intention-free dating, pastime sex, stress-busting flirting and all the meaningless interactions were unfulfilling and empty. You wanted more, you wanted love, a life, a husband, kids, vacation homes, and retirement funds, you wanted the quintessential definition of it all. He also noted you now found everything he was currently partaking in meaningless and unfulfilling.

Dropping his head, he stabbed the cake still in his hands. The more puncture holes it picked up the less and less he wanted it.

“Fuck, maybe I’m just bored and need a really, really, good fuck.”

He snorted but it was humorless.

“Don’t downplay what you feel, Y/N. Don’t—make what you feel insignificant, so you feel less vulnerable. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s you and me here.”

“It’s just—you—I know those are things you don’t necessarily want and you’re happy with the--.”

“Who said I don’t want those things?”

His tone was sharp and defensive though he hadn’t meant for it to be.

“Uh—you did.”

“No. I said it’s not something I can afford right now with my schedule and my contract extension. I didn’t say I never wanted it.”

You looked away from him to out the window. “Yeah, but your actions say a lot different,” you mumble.

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing.”

“Y/N, look at me. What does that mean?”

You sat quietly for a few moments then just when he was about to ask again you blurted.

“There is a difference between I don’t want it now and I don’t want it ever. Someone who wants it someday would leave themselves open to it rather than boxing every interaction they have into--other things.”

“What if I don’t want to open myself to it?”

“That’s clear Lew.”

“No. You don’t get it. What if I don’t want to open myself to it because I don’t want to find the perfect thing—the perfect woman and then be fucked because it’s too soon and too hard to keep her in my world to wait until I can make those commitments because my world is fucked—I’m fucked because I want the world and will actually keep going until I get it anyone else be damned.”

He could feel your eyes on him, and it was his turn to feel vulnerable and exposed.

“You think because you put everyone in one box it stops what’s meant to be from—being?”

He glanced at you with a pained expression, he knew it. He was actually feeling pain.

“Also—you’re not fucked because you want the world. I want the fucking world. Am I fucked?”

“To be determined.”

You both busted out laughing then. You laughed for a good minute then smiled as it tapered off.

“Aren’t you the tiniest bit lonely in the other side of your life—away from F1?”

He didn’t need to think about that. He knew the answer, but he didn’t want to tell you. The facts were that he was lonely more times than not. That was when he called someone to come distract him or make him feel good. He’d become an expert in the art of distraction. In his life, he only had time and the capacity for low stress and no mess. He had enough of both already.

He felt your hand creep into his and squeeze gently. Suddenly, there was all this other stuff again. The feel of your smaller hand in his larger one was something he really liked. Usually, when either of you took the other’s hand it was in passing or for a second, but the moment lingered and stretched, and still you kept your hand in his swirling your fingers against his palm and other fingers. He liked this too much.

“You can tell me. I won’t judge you. In fact—I’m lonely.”

His eyes slipped to you. Your head was down staring at your hands. It had now moved to trace the tattoos on his hand with the point of your nail as if his flesh were an adult coloring book. He watched you trace the rose on his pinky, then the planets on his ring finger. When you got to the lined arrow down his middle, he was having trouble swallowing again. Slowly, you traced the spaceship then went up across the sword until you reached his wrist.

He didn’t know if there was rhyme or reason to your movements or if you were just absently doing it. Goosebumps peppered his skin when you went up his forearm. He looked at you just before your eyes met his.

“You are?”

You nodded. “I am,” you whispered.

The air was on but inside the car easily felt like a sweltering 99 degrees. He didn’t know if it was from your touch or if it was the shift in the air between you. Did you notice it too?

“I think it’s okay to be lonely especially looking at how we live. We’re always working, always pushing ourselves to and through glass ceilings and when we do there is no one really there to share it with, not really, not in the way that fulfills,” you said.

Your face was closer to his now. Had he moved closer or was it you? Your eyes met again, and the temperature kicked up again. Fuck, he thought as his dick recklessly spasmed, begging for attention.

“I’m never lonely with you,” he said before his brain could stop his mouth.

A small smile lit your face, “Me too. Never with you.”

The smile slipped. “Well—not always.”

He turned to you more now, curiosity filling him. “What do you mean?”

You stayed quiet for a few moments but kept tracing his skin with your nail.

“There are times I can’t—guess what you’re thinking. Times I can’t—figure you out.”

“Then ask me.”

“Would you really tell me?”

He leaned closer. “I’d tell you anything.”

You searched his eyes, but you didn’t move back.

“Anything?”

He nodded slowly. His head felt hazy like you had him under some sort of spell with nothing more than your presence and the tip of your finger and all he truly wanted was to touch you in return. So he did. Reaching across to your exposed knee, he circled his finger around the smooth skin there. You sucked in a breath the moment his finger touched you and that one action nearly had him pulling you across the partition right onto his lap. Nearly.

So there on a hill that overlooked London, in his car, sitting near enough to a lone road light, you trailed your finger across his forearm while he did the same to your knee. The low light that illuminated the car bathed your skin in amber making him feel like you were on a whole different plane of existence rather than this real proven and tangible one. Your eyes held him in place to the point where he felt like he couldn’t move though he wanted to.

Without even realizing it you were mere inches from him. In fact, you were so close he could make out the hidden colors in your eyes, so close he could smell the fragrance on your skin that went deeper than perfume. This was your essence and by God he was intoxicated. Unable to stop himself, he inched his hand higher gripping your inner thigh. A soft moan fell from your lips and that was all it took for him to press his forehead to yours like the sound was tethered to his very core.

“Y/N,” he groaned.

The sheer might it was taking to keep himself restrained was becoming too much. At this point, it wouldn’t take much for him to abandon those restraints and give in.

“Lewis,” you whispered.

Your voice was raspy and dripping with what he dared label as desire. Fuck, he thought as he squeezed your thigh. He was so close, mere inches and it wouldn’t take much to close the gap between his fingers and your core but still, he fought himself. He was so wrapped up in his own battle for control within himself that he didn’t even realize when your hand rested on his upper thigh. You were dangerously close to kicking the lid off the box of other stuff that he’d worked years to keep shut. Half of him silently begged for you to keep going and kick it off so everything would be out in the open and it would be do or die but the other half of him hesitated still. The unknown was a powerful and sobering drug.

Your hand inched higher, then closer to what was the rock-hard physical evidence that deep down, now closer to the surface than ever before, he felt more, wanted more than what was. He wanted more than he could possibly afford. Still, his hand persisted, it inched higher making your hips jerk forward. The knowledge that he’d hit a sensitive spot sent his system into overdrive making a deep moan from his lips fill the car.

On cue in response, your legs opened a few inches more, making way for his hand. Jesus Christ he thought. There was his consent, you wanted him as he wanted you. There would be nothing wrong with him slipping his fingers underneath whatever underwear you wore. Fuck, he hoped they were lacy and strappy. There would be nothing wrong with him letting your hand slide to the aching dick straining against his pants begging for your attention. Shit, he bet your hands would feel incredible wrapped around him. There would be nothing wrong with him moving closer and finally claiming your lips as his. Damn, he just knew they were as sweet as they looked, that they felt amazing. There would be nothing wrong with him pulling your body against his for more than a clothed hug. There would be nothing wrong with him cupping your breasts and swirling his thumb across your nipple just to see the reaction it elicited. God damn it, he knew your moans would destroy him. There would be nothing wrong with him finally learning what you tasted like, nothing wrong with him finally smearing your wetness across his lips. Holy fuck, he knew you had to taste like pure sugar and cream.

His cock spasmed again then your hand made the move for him. In the same breath with his eyes squeezed tight, he lurched for your hand, gripping you by your wrist stopping you just before you touched him. As he did that his jaw clenched, the only thing he could do to stifle the moan at the tip of his tongue. It came out as a half groan and growl instead. The strangled whine that left you said you liked it, and he knew he had to end this here. It took him some time to find the smallest bit of control to open his eyes, but he didn’t possess enough control to look at you. There was no way he could.

“I’ll take you home,” he said, voice low and so close to a whisper.

He tried to keep the longing, regret, and hope from it. Slowly he removed his hand from your thigh hoping with everything in him that you grabbed it and nudged it higher. You didn’t though, so he turned forward readying himself to drive. You didn’t move for several long moments; you remained there half facing him with your thighs still tempting him to go back and take things further. With his hands on the steering wheel, he trained his eyes forward. He could feel all the antsy energy bouncing off every cell of his body, he could feel all the need in him wreaking havoc on him telling him to stop being a pussy and do what he really wanted to, say what he wanted to, take what he wanted.

His hands squeezed so tightly that the creaking of the leather echoed in the intense silence in the car. Just when he was about to say fuck it, you turned away from him. You softly cleared your throat then buckled yourself in. Sighing, he pushed started the ignition then swerved out of the parked spot they were in taking the route back to the city. As he drove you didn’t speak, you didn’t even move. You kept your head turned away from him looking out the passenger window with your legs crossed away from him. Your body language sent a completely different message now. Before you were open and so close to him. Now, you were so far he wondered if he’d turned Miles’ words into truths.

~~~~~

-Y/N- 8 Months Later-

The loud ‘pop’ of a champagne cork echoed just behind you making you spin in that direction. A group was just behind you laughing and toasting to something you guessed was momentous. You sighed then turned back to the painting you were currently studying. The abstract lines and swoops looked so similar to the slopes of a body. The longer you stared at it the more it felt like an erotic image than some random lines and swirls. There was something about it that stirred something in you, something that you’d ignored and buried so deep, something you hadn’t felt for 8 months.

You drained your champagne glass then squeezed your eyes shut. It had been a long 8 months. You’d worked your ass off times ten taking on more and more clients than before. You brought on 12 celebrity clients and 4 major corporate ones which brought Halsey, Boyd, and Crenshaw to the top of the field in revenue. You brought in so much money that you’d gotten 7 poaching offers from firms in different parts of the country.

Thanks to those offers that you hadn’t necessarily kept confidential, the interest in you for partner rose to unbeatable levels. Anyone you were competing against for the position paled in comparison. Those 8 months of ass-busting work led to your name being signed on the paperwork titling you as the new partner at Halsey Boyd and Crenshaw. It was so much of a done deal that your bank account proudly embraced your new status.

With that new status came an increase in the events you had to make an appearance at as thee number 1 entertainment and criminal attorney in London. Your calendar quickly filled with meetings, speeches, appearances, court appearances, dinners, and more. You were so booked that the next time you had any schedule free time was 6 months away. You’d catapulted so far out of your original tax bracket that you’d shattered the glass ceiling that tried to confine you and now you wondered if you’d aimed too high.

“Looks like I’m right on time.”

You looked to your right and found Darius holding another glass of champagne for you. Smiling, you took it.

“That you are, thank you.”

“Of course. To you, the youngest and newest partner at Halsey Boyd and Crenshaw and in the greater London area.”

You smiled as the man who’d stuck around through your insane schedule, your hot and cold behavior, your pull you close one minute, push you away the next, your disappearing acts, your reluctance to place a label on your interactions, your give me sex then get gone rule, and more for the last 8 months.

“Thank you, Darius,” you said leaning toward him and pressing your lips against his.

Darius moaned and reciprocated the kiss, snaking his hand around your waist and pulling you close. You felt like you were thanking him for much more than the toast and the fresh glass of champagne. You felt like you were thanking him for taking your bare minimum and it made you feel like shit.

Darius pressed his forehead to yours and instantly you had a flash back to the last man who’d done that to you. In a split second, your heart rate spiked, and an intense feeling gripped you.

“You don’t have to thank me, love.”

Your reaction to the action ricocheted through you making you pull away from Darius. Turning back to the painting, you gulped down the champagne.

“It’s crazy that your firm has so many celebrity clients and that this many are here to welcome you as partner,” Darius said in hushed tones.

“It is crazy.”

All night you’d been rubbing elbows with actors, musicians, models, athletes, and more. All of them congratulated you on your promotion and wished you greater success in the future. It was touching but a little bit overwhelming. You couldn’t let on though, so for the entire night you’d been performing, and you were nearing the limits of your stamina for it. You’d been performing for the last 8 months. Shit, you’d even been performing with Darius. You’d been performing ever since you were dropped off in those early morning hours those 8 months ago.

“Y/N,”

To your left, your paralegal now turned assistant, Kemi touched your elbow drawing your attention to her.

“Hey, girl.”

“Hey, you look incredible,” she said.

“Stop saying that please, you’re gonna blow my head up so big I just might start thinking I deserve a higher position.”

She giggled but gave you a look that said “well ya’ do.”

“The big wigs are asking for you, although you’re now one of them so--.”

You snorted while rolling your eyes. “Then doesn’t that make you the big wig assistant?”

She posed then making you laugh.

“I’ll be right back,” you said to Darius as you walked off to find those big wigs.

It didn’t take long before you found them surrounded by a group of about 10 people. When they saw you they waved you over with large smiles on their faces. You took a deep breath and approached them with an equally large smile.

“There she is ladies and gentlemen!”

The group smiled, patted your back, and welcomed you with friendly banter.

“Everyone!”

The music died down and someone handed Malcolm Boyd a microphone. He was your biggest fan, a black man who’d made unfathomable feats in the field and became an incredible mentor and second father to you. He put his arm around your shoulder as he always did.

“I am filled with great happiness and pride calling this woman the new partner here at Halsey, Boyd, and Crenshaw!”

Everyone began applauding then, drowning out his next words so he paused and allowed them a few moments before continuing.

“She has been with us for 6 years now and in those 6 years she has accomplished incredible things and when she was done with those incredible things she moved on to outstanding things. Y/N has reminded many of us of what it means to be determined and persistent. She tackles every case with poise, confidence, and grace and that confidence has given her that 99% win record.”

Again everyone clapped. You softly smiled at them half embarrassed by the praise but half so damn proud of yourself and happy that your accomplishments were being recognized.

“Just as Malcome said, “Patrick Halsey began placing his hand on Malcom’s shoulder, “Y/N more than deserves this promotion and I expect her to blow all of our minds in the coming months and years. We just might have to add another name to the plague.”

Many in the audience hollered and hooted at that and you couldn’t lie that the greedy ambition within you salivated at that possibility. You still wanted more. You exchanged a look with Malcome who gave you an all-knowing look. You just found your next accomplishment. The founding partners took turns praising you and giving reasons why you’d earned this promotion then raised their glasses to you for the ultimate toast of congratulations. You humbly thanked them and gave a quick appreciative speech before lifting your glass to the audience.

As you drank down the tart liquid, your eye caught sight of a figure you hadn’t seen in person for almost 2 months—Lewis. He stood at the back in a black suit that clearly was made for him. His braids were pulled back in the way he liked when he was tackling more professional events. He looked as good as ever. He lifted his glass of water to you and in response you gave him a tight smile.

The same thing happened that always happened when you met one another ever since that night. Your body went through this strange cycle of reaction, excitement, confusion, hurt, anger, annoyance, and disappointment. It was exhausting. Because of these feelings, you regretted that night. You regretted allowing your thoughts to go so astray that you opened up your ‘what if’ box. You regretted every whisper, every lean in, every almost touch, every lingering look, everything. You even regretted getting out of his car when he pulled up to your condo instead of pulling him by his hair to you and telling him to go upstairs with you. you didn’t know what you regretted more.

The worst part was that you had to continue on like always. Normally it wouldn’t be a problem because that night was not the first night there had been many ‘what if’ nights over your decade-long friendship. The common factor was that both of you moved on and slinked back into the basics of your relationship—comfort and friendship. This time is difficult, so difficult you contemplated passing his case off to another attorney. If it hadn’t been for Malcome talking you out of it he would have been someone else’s responsibility. Instead, you put on your big girl panties and a mask and did something you never thought you’d ever do with him—performed.

When the crowd thinned out and everyone returned to what they were doing you began making your way back to Darius in the opposite direction. You were ready to leave. Before you got far Lewis stepped in front of you stopping you in your tracks.

“Congratulations, Y/N.”

Smiling, you thanked him.

“You look--,” his words stalled as his eyes roamed your body. You noted the conflicted look on his face before it disappeared. “Incredible,” Lewis finished.

His compliment made your body warm and something like hope filled you. Chastising yourself you swallowed the lump in your throat. “Thank you. You look nice too.”

Lewis scoffed softly then nodded. You then tried to slip by him, however, Lewis wasn’t having it. Again, he stepped in front of you.

“In a rush to get away from me?”

“Why would you say that? Have you done anything to me for me to want that?”

Silence stretched and Lewis studied you his jaw clenched tightly. Instead of speaking, he looked down, an act of defeat.

“Can we talk, Y/N?”

“We’re talking right now.”

He gave you an unamused look, but you kept your nonchalant, innocent one. Unexpectedly Miles approached then.

“There she is--partner lady. Congratulations Y/N.”

You smiled then hugged Miles. “Thank you!”

“This is incredible news, Y/N. So happy for you.”

“I appreciate that. Thank you for coming,” you replied.

“You know me, always this fool’s plus one.”

You smiled then the silence returned for a few seconds before Lewis spoke again.

“Maybe we can go somewhere—quiet after this?”

“Unfortunately I don’t think I can.”

“Why?”

Just then Darius approached and wrapped his arm around your waist resting his hand on your hip. You watched Lewis’ eyes drop to that hand and continued to watch as his jaw turned tight as if it filled with cement.

“Oh wow. Lewis Hamilton,” Darius said turning to you, his voice awestricken. “Babe it’s Lewis Hamilton.”

You nodded as a soft smile played on your lips. “Let me introduce you. Darius, this is one of my clients, Lewis Hamilton, and his best friend Miles Chamley-Watson fencing champion and Olympian. Miles, Lewis this is my—.”

You hesitated and in the same second, you felt Darius’ eyes on you filled with hope. Two other pairs of eyes were on you--one giving complete double eyeball emoji and the other searing you almost daring you to continue. The longer you didn’t speak, you watched Darius’ hope turn to disappointment. Glancing back at Lewis you found his eyebrow up with a curious and confrontational look while Miles was the epitome of if ‘well this is awkward’ was a person.

“This is Darius Forrester.”

You felt even more like shit now. Darius shook Lewis’ hand first then Miles’. While he did Lewis looked him over sizing him up. You knew he was wondering if he was the same man from those months ago when you’d told him you were on a date.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m a fan,” Darius said to Lewis.

“Thank you. I appreciate that. I can sign something for you if you want.”

You rolled your eyes at his underhanded jab while a half chortle escaped Miles. Darius on the other hand leapt at the opportunity, handing Lewis the only thing he had, an art bidding ballot. Lewis signed the back but kept his eyes on Darius’ hand on your hip.

“Bidding on some art tonight?”

“I am. There is a piece this gorgeous angel has been staring at all night, it’ll be my gift to her for her promotion,” Darius explained rubbing your hip.

You smiled at him then kissed his cheek. Lewis now looked entertained while Miles’ eyes widened as he finished the drink in his hand.

“Ehm, anyway. So I’m sorry I can’t pencil you in tonight but if you call Kemi and make an appointment she’ll get you on the calendar for a different day for that talk,” you said.

“Plans tonight,” Miles guessed looking between you and Darius.

“Absolutely. I’ve had way too much to drink and plan on taking advantage of that.”

You leaned closer to Darius kicking up your performance another notch. Lewis smirked but also clenched his jaw to that. Miles whistled while nodding his head.

“Go on then Ms. Partner, fly by the seat of your panties or no panties,” Miles teased making you and Darius chuckle while Lewis gave him an unamused look.

“Well, enjoy your evening gentlemen. Thank you again for coming by,” you said before you made a move to walk off with Darius.

As you walked away you placed your hand over Darius’ and slyly slipped it lower to rest on your ass. You knew Lewis was watching and decided to deliver the last blow. Was it petty? Yes. Was it fair to Daius? Not at all.

The next hour or so passed with you roaming around the gallery looking at the art while Darius flirted with you. As you roamed, no matter where you went you saw Lewis from the corner of your eye and no matter how much space was between you, your skin reacted as if Darius’ touch was his. The more you felt that way the reality that Darius’ touch was in fact all his own annoyed you making you feel even worse. You knew what needed to be done and knew it had to be done soon.

The only way you could distract yourself was with glass after glass of champagne. As you emerged from one of your countless trips to the bathroom you bumped into Miles.

“Funny bumping into you here.”

You smiled warmly, “Still here? I thought you and Lewis left hours ago.”

“You knew we were still here,” he accused.

You tried to give an affronted look but failed. He was right. Sighing, your act fell for the first time that night.

“Wow. Feels good to not perform huh.”

You looked at Miles and wondered just how much he knew. He didn’t keep you in suspense long.

“What a twisted web we weave when we practice to deceive.” He scoffed, shook his head then continued, look, I am going to tell you the same thing I told Lewis.”

You perked up then but tried to play it off.

“You better stop playing before somebody gets hurt and by the looks of it, it’s gonna be your homeboy Darius if not all three of you.”

You took in his words then put your mask back in place. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah you do, just like Lewis knew what I was talking about all those years ago, but he still decided to keep playing, and now look where we are.”

Your curiosity peaked then. “What are you talking about Miles? What do you think you know?”

He scoffed. “I’m a straightforward kinda guy so I’ll say I know everything. As the neutral 3rd party who is both on the outside looking in and the inside watching this train wreck, I know everything. I know what he tells me and what he doesn’t tell me, and I know what you don’t tell him.”

Your eyes lingered and the longer they did the more you got his meaning. Glancing away you tried to pretend like his words meant nothing, but you knew you were failing.

“I get it, I really do; 10 years is a long time to put at risk but are you really putting it at risk knowing all you know? You have 10 years of proof. Man up.”

Miles leaned in, kissed your cheek, and whispered, “Let homeboy go so he can find someone who really loves him, someone who can love him. Your corner is full.”

With that, he walked away leaving you speechless and confused. Your corner was full? You had no idea whatsoever what that meant, and you were tempted to follow Miles and get some clarification, but you decided against it remembering the last time you chased down the rabbit hole. When you found Darius again his expression was somber when he told you that the painting he’d been bidding on was outbid and that he didn’t have it to gift you. After assuring him you were fine, you decided you were more than ready to leave.

Darius got the car as you waited outside allowing the cold air to cool your skin. You didn’t care that you were risking illness because it served as a needed distraction. When you felt a fabric drape over your shoulders you bristled at first but then Lewis’ scent circled you and your body relaxed. Even that annoyed you.

“I don’t need this. Darius will be back soon anyway.”

Lewis snorted. “8 months, is that a record?”

“I think it’s a record for you, but I’ve gone longer.”

He scoffed then shook his head. “No doubt, remember Y/N. I will be here long after you get bored with them all. I’m always here.”

Your eyes locked and his should have been radiating cockiness that matched his words, but instead, they were gentle, open, and vulnerable.

“Will you?”

There was no time to reply because a car horn blared drawing your attention. Darius waved at you as he got out of the car to walk around to the passenger side.

“Good night Lewis.”

You walked away from him then slipped into the passenger side. As you waited for Darius to get in and drive off, you stared at Lewis who hadn’t budged from the curb where you left him. Miles’ words echoed back to you then.

“Just like Lewis knew what I was talking about all those years ago, but he still decided to keep playing, and now look where we are.”

“You have 10 years of proof.”

“Your corner is full.”

The word ‘full’ echoed over and over as Darius pulled off. Bullshit, you said to yourself in disbelief.

When Darius pulled up to your condo you sat there marinating in all your thoughts throughout the nearly thirty-minute drive. It wasn’t until you felt Darius’ hand on your exposed knee did you realize he was still there.

“Are you okay? Want me to come up?”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. “We need to talk Darius.”

When you looked at him his expression said he knew just what you were about to say. Being as gentle as you could, you ended things. Although the old “it’s not you it’s me” line fit the situation perfectly. You dug a little deeper and gave him and heartfelt reason without revealing you were and had been in love with your best friend for 10 years and didn’t realize it until his feelings were already on the line. When you finished, Darius remained the good guy he was and told you he understood and that he’d expected this sooner or later. You thanked him for being good to you then began making your way to the elevators.

Halfway there you dug into the pocket of the jacket you wore and froze. When you took your hand out you held a note with your name sprawled on the front in Lewis’ handwriting.

-Y/N-

I’ve thought for months about what to say to you because there is so much to say, so much that has gone unsaid for so long that I don’t know where to start—how to start. 10 years is a long time especially when neither of us has been 100% honest with the other. I want to end that. Please.

-Lewis

You read then reread the note over and over hoping you would know what to do next but no matter how many times you did, you had nothing. So you walked back and forth in the lobby. When your phone sounded, you found a message from Lewis.

MSG Lewis: Ball’s in your court. I’m outside your building.

You froze then slowly turned and saw his car. It had been months since you’d been in a car with him and the thought of doing it again freaked you out a little. Your eyes met at that moment, but he didn’t move. He was giving you the time to decide for yourself. You turned your back to him then walked to the elevators but stopped halfway. After a few moments, you turned back around and walked to the doors only to stop halfway again and repeat the whole cycle. Still, Lewis didn’t budge. He just watched as your internal debate played out physically.

After ten minutes you stooped down and put your down, completely exhausted by your indecisiveness. Taking a deep breath, you held it and allowed your lungs to adjust. It was an action you often did to help you think and calm down. As your oxygen levels decreased your heartbeat would slow and as it did, there was always one particular beat where you figured it all out. It usually came right in the nick of time.

So you allowed your heartbeat to slow and though you should have panicked you didn’t. You thought clearer than you’d ever thought before.

“I know what he tells me and what he doesn’t tell me, and I know what you don’t tell him.”

Miles’ words came back to you again and it was then you gasped filling your lungs with air. After a few breaths, you stood then turned to the doors. It worked all the time. With your head high and back straight you walked toward them then climbed inside Lewis’ car. Without a word, he pulled off then turned back onto the streets.

~~~~~~

Thirty minutes later you walked into a penthouse suite right behind Lewis.

“Why here?”

“Thought neutral ground would make you more comfortable.”

You scoffed and beelined right to the bar, tossing his suit jacket over the back of one of the bar stools. As you mixed yourself a drink you tried not to focus on him, but you did. No matter where he went you knew. You were hypersensitive to him at this point. You’d only meant to make a glass but ended up making a whole shaker cup. You kicked off your heels, climbed onto the bar stool then plopped yourself on the countertop. Once comfortable you crossed your legs and sipped your drink.

“Where’s Darius?”

“Not here obviously.”

“You and I are so alike it’s insane,” he said as he approached you, but he didn’t come close. He stopped at the sectional couches in the middle of the large living area and then sat.

The silence in the room was thick for such a long time you began thinking about leaving altogether.

“Congratulations again. I’m so fucking proud of you. You saw something you wanted and didn’t stop until you got it. You deserve this.”

Your stomach flipped hearing his praise. More than anyone he knew what you’d gone through to get here. It touched you. Looking away from him, you cleared your throat. “Thanks.”

His eyes remained on you as if daring you to look back at him. It was a dare you had to accept. Your eyes locked and you instantly felt it. There was so much to say. Just behind him, you saw something familiar. Squinting, you made out the painting you’d been staring at all night, the painting Darius wanted to bid on for you. It clicked then, the reason why Darius couldn’t win it was because Lewis claimed it first. You scoffed, the man was competitive and dominant to a fault. You couldn’t help but be touched by the gesture though.

Lewis sighed bringing your eyes back to him, “I don’t even know where to start,” groaned, rubbed his eyes then spoke again. “Maybe I’m sorry is a good place.”

You studied him for a few moments then took a mouthful of your drink. “For what?”

“You know for what.”

That night.

Those words hung in the air, and you did your best to remain aloof. Scoffing, you shook your head. “It’s all good Lewis.”

“You’re lying and you know it. I thought attorneys believed in the truth.”

“Who are you to tell me what my truth is?!”

You hadn’t meant to shout it, but you did.

“Because more times than not our truths match up and I am sure that what happened was not all good to you because it wasn’t to me.”

“And what exactly wasn’t all good to you?”

“The way we—I left things,” he quietly said.

You waited for him to continue because there was no way in hell you were going to make this easy for him. He wanted to talk so he’d talk. Lewis shook his head then hung it backward. He sat there staring into the ceiling for almost a full minute before he looked back at you.

“I just—flipped when we were—you were—you wanted--,” he stuttered.

You scoffed again, “Don’t flatter yourself, Lewis,” you said slipping into the barstool and spinning it around so your back faced him.

“What?”

“You and I both know that none of that meant anything to you. It’s all good.”

“Now who’s telling who what their truth is?”

You didn’t take the bait, instead, you kept your back to him and finished your glass.

“You forget, I know you, Lewis. 10 years of friendship and I know you so well that it was my own damn fault that night.”

“Whatdaya know?”

After refilling your glass you turned back around then hopped off the stool and walked toward the large floor-to-ceiling window. “I know that that you were with one of your rotation chicks before you came to pick me up. I smelled her on you. That fruity aroma was all her. I know that because of that tidbit of info, none of it meant anything.”

Leaning against the window you stared down at the view of London. Lights glistened down below, and you imagined everyone scurrying to where they had to go so wrapped up in their own thoughts or existence to even suspect that it all was fleeting.

“Okay, I’ll own that bit. Yeah, I was with one of them but that was only after I found out you were on a date.”

“So it’s my fault. I was on a date living my life, so you decided to get your dick wet. Okay.”

You took another sip from your glass not liking the direction of this little talk he wanted to have.

“I never said it was your fault. It’s just a fact. I texted you because I wanted to see you, wanted to spend time with you and you were spending time with someone else, someone you probably did God knows what with hours before you saw me.”

And with that, you were done here. Finishing the glass you turned and walked to the door.

“Good night Lewis.”

He scurried in front of you blocking your path. “Wait, please. Shit! I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Two sorries in the span of twenty minutes, cool. Get out of my way.”

“No, Y/N, please wait.”

You sighed, rubbing your forehead. “I’m sick and tired of waiting. I’ve waited 10 years!”

“You’ve waited? I’ve—.”

Lewis threw his hands up then walked away grunting and talking to himself. He looked insane and it kind of made you pleased seeing it. He always appeared so in control, so aware of himself and his actions at all times. It had all gone to shit now. You stood there debating if you should just leave and let things remain how they were until the day you both just stopped talking and checking in and it ended up going on for another 10 years until you were just people who used to know one another, people who’d missed out on something. It was then you realized you weren’t wearing shoes.

“Shit,” you whispered.

“I wanted you that night. I wanted you more than I had ever wanted anyone, including anyone in the rotation. Do you know what I was doing while you were on your date?”

“Getting your dick wet. I know.”

“I was lying on Julissa’s bed as she gave me head.”

You scoffed, “Of course you were.”

“She’d been going for 40 minutes and still I was barely hard. No matter what she did, no matter the tricks, no matter how nice it felt, barely hard. I was lying on her bed with my dick in her mouth thinking about you on your fucking date.”

You looked at him then. Those were words you hadn’t expected.

“My mind went crazy thinking what was happening. The longer that went by without you texting me the thoughts killed me. As soon as I got your message I left. No other thought, just you. I prayed to God that the date didn’t go well enough for you to let him upstairs. Then I saw what you were wearing, and I couldn’t believe I was jealous. I was jealous.”

“Why?”

Lewis looked at you then. “Because he got to see you like that. You’d dressed up for him, wanted to turn him on with that outfit. He’d spent the entire night with you. He’d had what I wanted.”

Well shit, you thought before walking back to the bar. Rather than making another drink, you took up a bottle of champagne and brought it to your lips.

“Do you know what it feels like to want someone so bad that it fucks with you and everything you do? To want someone more than you’ve wanted anything. To want someone in a way that is new to you, so new that it scares you. Do you know what it feels to have this crippling fear every time that someone is in your grasp, but not being able to resist the temptation, the desire to make them yours? Do you know what it feels like to know that you only burn this bright, this hot, this dangerous with one person, and the burn is all-consuming?”

He looked almost hysterical now. “Do you know what it feels like to want the perfect someone for you? I’m talking molded for you in every way while knowing it’s not the right time for you because you both want too much from the world and because you know that because you burn so hot, so bright that you’ll burn each other if either of you ever let go and let it happen? To know you are so similar that you will either destroy each other or ruin one another for anyone else.”

The look on his face was so damn relatable. He’d just said everything you’d thought over the last 10 years. Everything.

“I know what he tells me and what he doesn’t tell me.”

He was practically ranting now. Spewing every single thing that he’d ever thought, confessing it all.

“So because of all that you try to keep up pretenses that you’re friends and nothing more though you have countless moments where you slip up and stare at them too long, or hold them in your arms from a hug for half a minute too long, or let your hand linger in theirs or around their waist to test boundaries because you just can’t not touch them, or even find reasons to do every single thing together. You take those 2 steps forward not realizing you do because the pull is too strong, then you freak out and leap back 5 steps. You do this for weeks, months, years until 10 of them have passed and you have this huge box you’d filled with all the other stuff between you that you can’t express or fess up to until that box just gets stirred by one action, one moment--one night.”

His eyes were locked on yours. Somehow he’d traveled across the room to the bar and was standing right in front of you. Somehow he’d locked you in the frame of his arms leaving you nowhere to run. Somehow he’d managed to inflate your chest with hope right beside your thundering heart.

“Then suddenly—everything has changed, and nothing can be the same ever again,” he finished, his voice a whisper in the completely silent room.

You watched his eyes lower to your lips and your gut flipped again.

“Do you know what any of that feels like, Y/N?”

There were only mere inches between you now and the sheer proximity of his body to yours made you shiver.

“H—how long—have you—felt this way?”

Your voice quivered in a way that made it obvious to him what his nearness was doing to you.

“10--fucking years,” Lewis replied eyes glued to yours.

He took one step to you, “I’ve spent the last 8 months cleaning my life, cleaning my circle because I’ve gotten to the point where I could no longer ignore that everyone else is number 2 for me. You’re number one, Y/N.”

You were frozen in place, unsure what to say, and even more unsure what to do. He was right, your truths usually did line up and this was no different.

“And I know it scares you, shit it scares me too. All of this does. I know my life is insane and yours is about to be even more so, I get you still have things you want to accomplish; I saw your face when Halsey mentioned adding your name to the plaque. You want it and I want it for you as well as the world for both of us. Our timing can’t be any worse, but something has got to give, love, because I can’t take another year let alone 10 of this.”

You took a deep, ragged breath.

“Where--,” Lewis began before stopping and chewing his top lip.

It was a nervous tick. “Where do I—stand—with you?”

For 10 years he’d been so hard to read, so nearly impossible to gauge, and here right now in the darkness of the room you could see him as clear as day. He was oh so transparent and scared you’d reject him. Scared you’d decide he was more trouble than he was worth. Scared he’d just showed you his heart and ruined your friendship in the process. Without realizing it you were crying; you felt a tear roll down your cheek.

Sniffling, you wiped it away, “Ehm, I broke up with Darius tonight.”

Lewis looked shocked. Clearly, he thought you were still together.

“Why?”

You wiped the other tear that fell from your eye then looked away from him. All of a sudden the room felt smaller than it was, it felt as if the walls were closing in on you. Lewis cupped the back of your head cradling your skull in his palm making you look him in the eyes.

“Why?”

“For the last 8 months, I’ve been hot and cold with him, I pulled him close one minute then the next pushed him away, I disappeared a lot always using work as the excuse. I was busy, yeah, but it wasn’t work. I was always so reluctant to put a label on what we were doing, every time he brought it up I changed the subject never giving him the answer he wanted. Even when we had sex--.”

Lewis took a deep breath, dropped his head, and harshly released it, clearly displeased with confirmation that he’d had you that way, but you continued.

“Even then it was usually always on my terms, and I always wanted him to leave right after. I was—I was always thinking about someone else, something else instead of him, and for 8 months I never felt anything remotely close to what I felt that night with him. over the months every time I saw you it hacked at whatever was going on between me and him until tonight seeing you again it just--.”

You flicked your five fingers indicating an explosion. I’ve become hypersensitive to you, and I don’t know when it happened. It dawned on me that—I was using Darius and it wasn’t fair.”

Lewis searched your eyes not hiding the hurt in his. You took a step towards him. “You’re right about a few things. Our timing couldn’t be any worse.”

He nodded.

“Our truths usually always line up.”

Lewis looked hopeful then.

“Your life is insane.”

The hope faltered.

“I do want my name on that plaque, and I will get it.”

A small smile crooked his lips.

Another tear rolled down your cheek and again you wiped it away, “I can also no longer ignore that everyone else is number 2 for me. Always has been because you’re my number one.”

He clenched his jaw then and the emotion that washed over his face rocked you. Like an earthquake rocking the Earth’s surface.

“I am scared.”

As this tear rolled, Lewis was the one to reach out and gently wipe it with the pad of his thumb. Your lip quivered.

“I’m so scared.”

Lewis pushed forward then, crashing his lips to yours in one swift move. Once your lips met neither of you went slow. The kiss was frenzied from the beginning, both of you wanting it all and not wanting to waste any more time taking it. As his tongue rolled with yours you closed the space between you pressing your body against him. Lewis softly moaned, wrapping his arms around you. When you bit down on his bottom lip he groaned then walked you backward until your back collided with the edge of the bar. Trapping you there once again, he kissed you without holding a thing back and your body responded to him instantaneously.

In a matter of seconds, you both were moaning against each other and completely wrapped up in the new feelings that were consuming you. Lewis cupped your face as he kissed you then ran his hands down to your neck. You couldn’t deny that this felt even better than you imagined. Moaning, you clutched his waist but when that didn’t suffice, you slowly slid your hands up along his toned abs, over his chest taking in the bulge of muscle there. When you wrapped them around his neck, Lewis pressed more persistently against you.

“Mmmm!”

Lewis tore his lips from you and put his forehead to yours. “Fuck, I don’t want to get too carried away. I’m sorry I should have asked first.”

“Consent fucking given,” you said before you crashed your lips to his.

This time you took control. Swirling your tongue with his you didn’t give him time to react or gain the upper hand. You wanted to taste him, and you refused to wait any longer. Teasing his lips, you nibbled his bottom one, taking your time to sensually suck on it until he moaned against you. The vibration shot through you making you feel like you’d only now just begun to truly feel. Lewis’ hands roughly gripped your hips, holding you steady so you could feel that you weren’t the only one finally feeling for the first time.

Heightening both if your pleasure, you sucked his tongue until he groaned. The next thing you knew Lewis’ had you by the hips lifting you onto the bar top. You wrapped your thighs around him and nearly came when you felt his hands pry your legs apart. The heat radiating off of his hand on your bare thigh reminded you of the night in his car and you prayed he didn’t stop again.

As if reading your mind, Lewis met your eyes while he slid his hand higher and higher and higher until his fingers crawled to your inner thigh. Softly he raked his manicured nails against your skin forcing a whimper from you. You bit down on your bottom lip and silently willed yourself not to cum from the anticipation. Suddenly the back of Lewis’ fingers brushed against your sex. Your gasp was loud, breathy, and stretched out as he took his time moving centimeter by centimeter until he’d trapped your clit between his pointer and middle finger. Your jaw dropped all the while he held your gaze.

When he tightened his fingers and rubbed against you, your eyes rolled to the back of your head. You knew then he was dangerous, and you were going to cum.

“F—ha—fu-huck!”

Your back arched, head fell back as your body moved like it were possessed. Each spasm of pleasure had you bucking against his fingers until you could hardly breathe.

“My god you’re so fucking beautiful when you cum, love.”

You giggled and moaned as the tremors worked their way through you. “Mmm, orgasms and compliments, a girl could get used to this,” you cooed.

“Good. This is your future.”

Lewis moved his hand, brought them to your thighs then lifted them. As he planted your heels at the edge of the bar, you knew what he wanted. Your eyes dropped to his lips then you moaned. Pulling your dress away from your legs you allowed them to fall back to the bar showing him not only gymnasts were flexible.

“Oh fuck,” Lewis groaned.

You watched his eyes drop to your sex and the look on his face was unlike any you’d ever seen. No one had looked at you like this before. He stared where your thighs met like it was the most mesmerizing thing he’d ever seen, the first of its kind and something he wanted to completely destroy. You now felt like prey spread before him like this, like at any moment he was going to pounce on you.

“Mmm.”

Lewis came closer and closer until he rested on his elbows and was just inches from your sex. The anticipation was killing, and he had to know it.

“I knew you were a lacy knickers kind of woman,” he muttered.

“I take it you’re a lacy knickers kind of man.”

“On you, fuck yes.”

With that, Lewis hooked his thumbs in your underwear and pulled them to the side. He blew out a breath in reaction to seeing you bare for the first time and that breath fucked you up all over again. You threw your head back trying to calm your anxieties, but just when you met his eyes again you found his tongue out sliding against your wet folds.

Oh—my—goooood!”

Lewis moaned and did it again and again until he circled your clit with the tip of his tongue. “Mmmm.”

Lewis pressed your thighs back keeping them spread then went to town. If you’d ever doubted before that his mouth game was incredible you didn’t now. He licked, flicked, and sucked along your flesh making your back remain in a prolonged arch. Within seconds you were whining and writhing as his tongue worked literal fucking magic. The sound of Lewis’ slurping echoed in the living room and that was when your hands grabbed his head. Pulling his hair free you held on and bucked against his mouth.

“Mmm.”

He stuck his tongue out and let you take over. With every buck against his tongue, you called his name and the more the tip of his tongue flicked your clit the more out of control you felt. Your release was so close your body moved more wildly needing it at all costs.

“I’m gonna cum Lewis.”

“Cum for me, Y/N!”

You didn’t need to be told more than once and when you were right on the precipice you felt Lewis slid two digits inside of you. Just like that, your orgasm morphed from a toe-curling release to soul snatching one. You screeched as your body convulsed but he didn’t stop then, he pumped his fingers in and out of you then added a third finger stretching you wide.

“Uuuugh fuck!”

You barely finished your words before Lewis threw you over his shoulder, keeping his fingers inside of you. As he walked through the suite his fingers kept fucking you, readying you for him. When your back met the soft sheets of the mattress, Lewis still hadn’t broken contact. He watched you now as you lay there unable to control your body.

“You’re so beautiful.”

Pulling his fingers free he cleaned two of them off before you sprang to your knees to claim the third. As you sucked his finger you kept your eyes on his. You could see how badly he wanted you, how much he wanted from you, and you couldn’t believe he’d held back all this time. You took your time sliding each button through its slot until his shit was wide open. When you pushed it off of him you took in a sight you’d seen plenty of times only now it was different.

You brought your hands to feel across his torso marveling at each defined ab muscle and each tattoo. When you intentionally rubbed against his beaded nipple you noted the way his Adam’s apple bobbed. How had you never noticed your effect on him? How had you never taken it seriously? Bringing your hands back to his waist you undid his pants. You brushed your palm against the protruding mass straining against his pants which made him shiver as he grunted.

“Oops.”

Lewis scoffed then licked his lips and that was all it took for him to claim back some of the control you possessed over this exchange.

“Of course, you’re a fucking tease.”

You innocently smiled. “I haven’t even begun to tease you.”

“I bet.”

Lewis snuck forward kissing you one peck at a time, over and over.

“Mm, can you take it?”

“Any other night my answer would be yes, hell in an hour my answer will be yes but right now--.”

He cupped your sex with on hand and the back of your neck with the other.

“Mmm.”

“Right now, I have no control left. I’ve remained in control around you for 10 years and right now I just want to let it all go. I want to bury myself so deep inside of you there is no mistake that we belong to each other bad timing or not. It’s you and me, Y/N.”

You groaned as his words only increased the wetness between your legs. You kissed him again, then you turned your back to him and swayed your body against him. Lewis dropped a kiss to your shoulder as his hand crept around to cup the underside of your breast. You leaned forward getting on all fours with your ass poking out to him.

“Undo me?”

He didn’t move for a few moments, and you waited for him to enjoy the view. When you felt his hand rub against your ass you dipped your back lower which only made your ass poke out more. Lewis trailed his hand along your spine that the backless gown proudly showed off. Then he went to your tailbone and lowered the zipper of the dress. Peeping over your shoulder, your eyes locked as you allowed the dress to fall away from your body.

His groan was low—primal. It was all you needed to hear to know he liked the strappy number you wore that was made of fine lace. You expected him to take his time but instead, you felt him peel off the garment leaving you completely naked before him for the first time ever.

“You’re so wet for me, Y/N. So wet and so fucking perfect.”

You spread your legs further then stretched your arms over your head using your head to hold you up. As expected, Lewis flipped you onto your back making you giggle. You roamed your hands over your body, cupping your breasts then sliding them down your abdomen to your dripping core. The entire time, Lewis kept his eyes on every move you made while he pulled his pants and underwear off.

When he stood bare before you, your surprise could not be masked. You didn’t know what you’d expected in your late-night thoughts about what he was packing but you had no way of expecting this. Lewis gripped his length then slowly stroked it as he pressed a knee onto the mattress.

“Scared?”

You bit your bottom lip as you gawked at what the good lord blessed him with. It was unfair and completely intimidating.

“Now I see why everyone in the rotation was so happy being one of many.”

He snorted, bringing his other knee to the mattress between. Slowly he stalked closer like a predator with a deadly weapon in hand.

“There is no rotation anymore.”

“Oh yeah. The LH44 Harem has been disbanded?”

As he crept closer, you slid backward.

“You’re not funny.”

“So am I the first to usher in a new era—a new harem?”

Lewis grabbed your ankle then pulled you back to him making the backs of your thighs slam into the fronts of his. He then hovered over you before dropping an opened mouth kiss on your nipple. Sucking the peak into his mouth he sucked raising your back off of the bed.

“You’re in no harem. I told you, it’s you—and me,” he said nibbling your flesh.

Stared at him letting it all sink in. You brought your hand to his bearded cheek and rested it there.

“Are we really doing this? Like—for real?”

Lewis boxed your face in with his muscular arms and stared into your eyes. “I’ve told you where I stand, Y/N. I’ve told you everything that’s in here.”

He took your hand and placed it over the roaring lion etched on his skin keeping his hand over yours.

“It’s time you tell me what’s in here,” he finished placing his other hand over your left breast.

“You,” you whispered.

“I love you, Y/N.”

Before you could react or even respond Lewis thrust forward sending the tip of his hardness inside of you, stealing your breath, and every thought. A breathy gasp filled the air. Slowly he pushed forward, leisurely filling you giving you time to adjust to his size.

“Haaaa.”

Lewis kept his hand over your heart while holding yours over his as he filled you inch by tortuous inch never taking his eyes off yours. Your entire being was on fire like he was pouring molten lava inside of you with every inch he gave you.  

“Oh fu—Lewis,” you panted.

From the way his jaw was clenched, and eyes focused intently on you, you could tell he was feeling everything you were.

“How are you so tight?”

Digging your nails into his chest you tightened your leg around his waist and as if that was his last straw, Lewis flicked his hips forward filling you completely and tearing a scream from both of your lips. Neither of you moved for several moments but with every second that passed by your body blazed. Bucking against him, you slid your hand up to his throat and then gripped it.

“I love you. Fuck me. Now!”

Those words would be your ruin because he did just that without mercy and complete recklessness. Your moans and whimpers melded together rising in decibel and power until the entire room shook with the power of your screams for one another. As he plowed inside of you he didn’t go slow, he followed his basal instincts that were imprinted in his DNA, a need to claim, and dominate.

You’d never felt so out of control in your life. No matter how he fucked you, you couldn’t get enough. No matter how deep he went you wanted him deeper. No matter how he called your name you wanted him to scream it. You wanted every fucking thing he had. You wanted to leave him in shambles. When he flipped you onto your stomach like you weighed nothing, he held your ass in the air and fucked you so thoroughly you’d lost track of how many times you came. It didn’t matter because you wanted more.

He must have been able to read your mind because there was no way he could tell what you needed this soon, you thought to yourself as he grabbed your wrists and pulled you back, so he had your upper body hovering above the mattress.

“Oh my god, I’m cumming Lewis! Ooh shiiiiiit!”

He took advantage of this new angle and circled his hips as he jackhammered into you, fucking you as you did something you’d never done before—squirted. You screamed from the force of your release, but Lewis didn’t stop, he fucked you through it then torpedoed you into another one that you knew would tear you apart. Racing for it, you slammed yourself back into him relishing the mix of pain and pleasure that only intensified when Lewis bit down on your shoulder.

“You got one more for me, darlin? Cum for me. Soak this dick, pretty girl, drench me so I can fill that pretty pussy up.”

“Aaah!”

You clenched around him as you lost yourself and fell off the cliff and into an endless pit of pleasure. You felt Lewis spasm inside of you before he cursed and shouted his release doing just what he promised. Filling your pretty pussy up.

When the two of you finally collapsed on the bed Lewis held you to him spooning you while still being nestled inside of you. Bit by bit you came back to your body and slowly your body went from violent shakes to subtle tremors and a hazy feeling washed over you. Lewis peppered kisses along your neck and shoulder nipping your skin every now and then.

“Mmm. Oh my god!”

He snorted. “You good?”

“Good? Am I good? Are you—at the risk of swelling your head even more than it already is that was--.”

“Was?”

You searched for the words but couldn’t find the right ones. “It was,” you settled on making him laugh as he held you tighter.

“Naw, I was alright, you—you were,” he said making you snort.

“Shut up.”

“No, I’m being for real for real. It’s a miracle I held on that long, you feel unbelievable, so good, too good. You—are!”

You giggled then moaned, sleepiness creeping up on you.

“Don’t you dare fall asleep, I’m nowhere near done with you.”

His manhood inside of you lurched nudging your g-spot and just like that your eyes snapped wide open.

“Watch yourself, I know your weakness now.”

“You?”

“Nope, this pussy.”

Lewis snorted then flipped you onto your stomach again. This time he straddled you as he slowly pulled out of you only to plunge right back in.

“Mmm.”

“Still so damn tight,” Lewis groaned.

“You’re welcome to try stretching me out.”

Lewis jerked his hips forward delivering a bruising thrust as punishment for your your sassy mouth. It was a thrust that took your breath and made you go cross-eyed.

“Mmm, yes!”

“Oh, aren’t you full of surprises. Pretty girl likes it rough and hard.”

He did it again and again, making you hit the bed each time as you buried your face in the sheet to muffle your screams.

“God yes, Lewis!”

“So fucking alike,” Lewis said before lowering his lips to your ear. “Remember I love you 'cause I’m about to fuck you like I don’t.”

Not waiting for a reply he held your arms to the bed then delivered on his promise. Everyone else was number 2 compared to you being each other’s number 1. Nothing else mattered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[itsbenedict]

alright, i just got around to finishing Dungeon Meshi- and damn if it didn't stick the landing!

there's a lot to recommend in this manga. first- it's extraordinarily fucking funny. it does not forget that it's a comic, and consistently has great visual gags even when something deeply fucked up and serious is happening.

and it fires on all other cylinders, too- the character designs are great, the worldbuilding is intricate and believable and does a lot of interesting things with standard fantasy tropes, the main cast is likable and has a great dynamic, the story keeps a lot of plates spinning without getting up its own ass or forgetting the details...

but the thing that really impresses me about Dungeon Meshi- the thing that sticks out as something it does uniquely well- is the theming.

Dungeon Meshi is about hunger and eating. it is about those things, hardcore. just about every plot point and every character dynamic is about that theme, approached from a dazzling array of different angles. it's got plenty to say about like, actual food and cooking, sure- but it also gets into the nature of desire, the cycle of predation, differing personal tastes, taking the other into oneself, satiation vs motivation... it makes sure that every development in the story is grounded in and building on that theme somehow.

Food is not a gimmick- Food is what the story is about, and not as a bit. this isn't a silly food-world full of food-creatures and food-magic- this is a normal, well-developed fantasy setting, in which a story is being told that focuses relentlessly on the relationship of the characters to food and eating. it manages to feel completely natural, even with so much going on that you'd think the food thing would get in the way. it doesn't get in the way. the story was designed around it, down to the smallest detail.

i think it might be a 10/10 manga! it does everything it sets out to do, completely successfully, with a ton of humor and charm. well-paced, well-drawn, well-written, good ending- i can't think of anything to complain about. highly recommended.

[bnhaobservation]

How the Todorokis call each other (Part 1)

So since I researched for it for my fic here are a bit of the words the Todorokis use to call/talk about themselves and each other in the Japanese manga (occasionally comparing it with the English translation).

Note that I won’t report names that are too general (when one of the children talks of them as his father ('chichi' 父) or his mother ('haha' 母) or when they refers to their family ('kazoku' 家族) and that sometimes, in English, the characters seemed to call someone in a certain way but the same didn’t apply in Japanese.

In order to make things simple I’ll group the characters when a Japanese term is used multiple times, so as to explain what it means only once. In part 2, as well as ending with the list of ways they call each others, I’ll put a summary for each character, so that if you want to know what a specific character use, you can do it more quickly.

Just remember the Todorokis, being a family, tend to use casual speech to talk among them, so they use many words which would be rude if they were to use them with other people but which are perfectly okay between family members. Also in the Japanese family hierarchy, Enji is above his children and wife, Rei is above her children and, in regard to the children, older siblings are above younger siblings.

It's worrth to say I’m not Japanese. The explanations of Japanese terms come from me reading plenty of Japanese dictionaries and grammars but I might have done mistakes or missed something... or missed some way the Todorokis used to refer to each other (as there's actually plenty of quotes). Consider yourself warned and feel welcome to write me if you think I missed something.

HOW DO THEY SAY “I”

Ore (俺/おれ Lit. “Oneself”)

In normal situations all the Todoroki males use ‘ore’.

This term is the most casual form of self-address used by men, which establishes a sense of masculinity. It can be seen as rude, depending on the context, as it’s suitable for conversations among close friends or relatives but not in polite conversation. It emphasizes one’s own status when used with peers and with those who are younger or of lesser status. Among close friends or family, its use conveys familiarity rather than masculinity or superiority. It was used by both genders until the late Edo period and still is in some dialects.

It’s notable how Tōya used ‘ore’ even before Natsuo’s birth so when he was 4 or younger (Natsuo was born after he turned 4). Very likely, despite being so young, he was copying his father’s speech pattern.

Watashi (私/わたし Lit. “One own person”)

If the male Todorokis use ‘ore’, the female Todorokis use ‘watashi’.

Don’t mistake ‘watashi’ for a female only way to say “I”. Only in casual speech, it is typically only used by women because if used by men in casual context it may be perceived as either stiff or feminine however, in formal or polite contexts, this is gender neutral (for example All Might uses it, his catchphrase “I am here” in Japanese is ‘watashi ga kita’ 私が来た lit. “I have arrived”).

That’s also why in chap 306, when speaking with the press, Enji switches to ‘watashi’ so as to sound as polite/formal as possible (before switching to ‘ore’ again when he tells them to watch him) and, in the anime, they also had him use ‘watashi’ in episode 46 when he answered to the phone so as to convey he was being formal/polite.

Boku (僕/ぼく Lit. “Servant”)

Used by males of all ages and very often used by boys (for example Midoriya uses ‘boku’ hence the title ‘Boku no Hero Academia’… but All for One also uses it so it’s not just for boys), ‘boku’ is perceived as humble and therefore polite, but can also carry an undertone of feeling young when used by males of older age. In addition to this it’s also used when casually giving deference.

Why I included ‘boku’ in this list if I said all the Todoroki males use ‘ore’?

Well, we actually have some exceptions in which they used ‘boku’.

Differently from Tōya who used ‘ore’ from a very young age, Shōto as a child of 5, used ‘boku’, likely not having the wish to emulate his father’s speech pattern. Interesting enough we know however that Tōya, as an adult, used ‘boku’ when he made his whole speech to the nation which was transmitted during the final stage of the Paranormal Liberation War Arc as, during it, he changed his normally rude speech pattern for one much more polite and humble.

Lastly, although not really a Todoroki but still related to them in a fashion (he’s probably a cousin from Rei’s side since he’s also an Himura), Geten regularly uses ‘boku’.

Their own name

Normally used by small children it’s however also a very feminine and kind of childish way to refer to oneself.

Fuyumi, before Natsuo’s birth therefore when she was 3 or younger, used not ‘watashi’ but ‘Fuyumi’ to refer to herself.

Kono (この “This”) + their own name or personal pronoun

In chap 55 when Enji tells to Gran Torino he will be enough to beat the Nōmu, Enji uses ‘kono Endeavor’ (このエンデヴァー “This Endeavor”). In English this comes out odd and, considering what was said before, you might think it’s either childish or girlish but in this case, with the addition of ‘kono’ the sentence actually remarks the name in a “no one else but Endeavor can do it” way. In the same way in chap 154, when Enji uses this time ‘kono ore’ to tell Hawks if he really believed he was in troubles,  it remarks ‘me’ although this time is in the opposite way as to imply “everyone else but him would be in troubles”.

FATHER (父) AND MOTHER (母)

There are various ways in Japanese to say “father” and “mother” that vary for levels of politeness.

Okā-san (お母さん/おかあさん “Mother”)

The addition of the initial ‘o’ (お) and the ‘–san’ (さん) at the end tell us this is a polite way to refer to her, although, since it’s the most common way to call your mother in Japan, even though technically it’s closer to “mother”, it’s perfectly fine to translate it as “mom”, which is currently the most common way to call your mother in English. Note that ‘okā-san’ can also be used to talk about someone else’s mother or for your mother-in-law. Rei is referred as such by all her children, regardless of their age, and even calls herself as such when talking with a young Tōya. Plus this is also how she calls her mother. In the English manga occasionally you also see her called as “mommy” but in Japanese she’s always called ‘okā-san’ only and not in a less formal way (kā-san, okā-chan, kā-chan, mama) and the choice to occasionally translate ‘okā-san’ as “mommy” is likely because the translator felt it would be more fitting for a young child to use it.

Kā-san (お母さん/おかあさん “Mother”)

Same as before but the lack of the initial ‘o’ makes it slightly less polite/formal. It's how Enji calls Rei when talking with Fuyumi. Natsuo will also call Rei as such when telling Enji not to stay close to her and the others or he'll only heat them up further in chap 421. Interesting enough, it's also how Īda calls his mother, even though the English version goes for a more formal "mother".

Otō-san (お父さん/おとうさん “Father”)

This is the equivalent to ‘okā-san’ for fathers … but it’s not equally popular as ‘okā-san’ in the Todoroki house. Like ‘okā-san’, 'otō-san' would be closer to "father" but it's okay to translate it "dad" and the English translator occasionally decided to translate it as "daddy" when it was a small child using it. Notably, of all of Enji’s children, only Tōya and Fuyumi still use it, while Shōto, as a child of 5, used it but now doesn’t anymore. Also Rei called Enji as such when talking with a young Tōya.

Oyaji (親父/おやじ “Father” or “Old man” lit. “parent father”)

This is a rather nuanced word. Let’s say it’s a more colloquial-sounding way to say “father” which can also used to refer to middle-aged or elderly men. It’s not exactly rude (though some Japanese people consider it as such) but it’s definitely very informal, similar to saying “my old man” in English but (often) without an affection. Again, it's nuanced and depends on the contest. Within one’s own family, teenage and older children, especially males, tend to start using the term to address their fathers at home. In public though, older children will typically call their own fathers ‘otō-san’. Using such word in many cases gives a ‘rough guy’ vibe. Teenager Shōto uses it to talk with or about Enji, regardless he's at home or not, and he’s clearly doing it because he refuse to show him respect, opposite to how he still call Rei ‘Okā-san’ instead than the ‘oyaji’ equivalent, ‘ofukuro’ (お袋). This contrasts sharply with Tōya, who instead regularly uses ‘otō-san’ (though if he does so in a mocking way or as a call back to the past since the past never dies it’s up to speculation) and uses ‘oyaji’ only in a couple of circumstances (chap 301 and 390). In chap 301 he’s clearly trying to keep distance from him as he speaks to himself since he calls him ‘oyaji’ and ‘Todoroki Enji’ instead than his usual ‘otō-san’. In chap 390 he’s being deliberately as rude as possible as he tells him to die. More about it later. It's possible Natsuo would also use 'oyaji' to call Enji, though so far we only saw him either calling him by his Hero name or using 'anta' (あんた) to call him. More about it later.

BIG BROTHER (兄) AND BIG SISTER (姉)

Same as with “father” and “mother” there are various ways in Japanese to say “big brother” and “big sister” that vary for levels of politeness. Note that in theory in a Japanese family the children aren’t all equal but older siblings are hierarchically higher than younger siblings and younger siblings own them respect.

Nē-chan (姉ちゃん)/Nē-san (姉さん)/Onē-chan (お姉ちゃん)

‘Nē’ (姉) is the word used for “big sister”. It can be used alone or after the name of the person in question and the level of politeness changes according to the suffixes and prefixes used. ‘O’ (お “honorable”) gives an extra layer of politeness, '-san' (さん) is your standard polite suffix (when added to a name is generally translated as “Mr.”, “Mrs.”) while –chan (ちゃん) is generally affectionate and expresses closeness and endearment.

Natsuo calls Fuyumi ‘nē-chan’, which is clearly familiar and affectionate, but Shōto calls her ‘nē-san’, therefore sounding more polite and distant. This can reflect the fact that Natsuo grew up closer to Fuyumi and is also closer in age compared to Shōto but might also be a reflection of how they were raised. When Rei told Natsuo to protect his big sister in chap 388, she told him to protect his ‘onē-chan’ (the ‘o’ adds a tone of politeness, but likely Rei always uses it as a way for Rei to remind Natsuo to be polite with his older sister), therefore she might have encouraged him to use a more endearing and close term for his sister, something she might not have done with Shōto merely because he wasn’t allowed to interact with Fuyumi (and the rest of his siblings) when Rei was living with them. In chap 192 Fuyumi calls herself his ‘nē-san’ when talking with Shōto, likely because after Rei left she took up a mother role to him and Shōto might have ended up calling her as such in response. Enji also, when talking with Natsuo, used ‘nē-san’ to talk about Fuyumi and he might have done the same with Shōto so that he ended up doing the same.

Nī (兄)/Nī-chan (兄ちゃん)/Nī-san (兄さん)/Aniki (兄貴)

‘Nī’ (兄) is the word used for “big brother”. The level of politeness changes according to the suffixes and prefixes used, same as ‘Nē’. Now… Tōya is called just ‘Tōya Nī’ by all his siblings and Shōto calls Natsuo ‘Natsu Nī’ as well, no suffixes or prefixes attached. Using just ‘Nī’ it’s very informal and childish but it started likely due to Fuyumi and Tōya being very close in age (11 months of difference) and therefore being allowed to a lower level of formality. Since Shōto was kept apart from his siblings and this lead Rei to stay away from her other children to take care of him as well, Natsuo likely copied Fuyumi’s way to call Tōya and, eventually, Shōto ended up doing the same with both his older brothers despite not being close to them, probably merely because he mimicked the way they talked. Note that when talking to Shōto in chap 34, Enji referred to Tōya as his big brother, he called Tōya his ‘nī-san’. Tōya instead referred to himself as his ‘nī-chan’ twice when talking with Shōto, which could have been mocking but could have also been the way he used to refer to himself with his siblings as a kid. In chap 388 and in chap 244/350 Natsuo and Shōto, when arguing with Tōya drops the childish and familiar ‘nī’, which would be unfitting of the situation, and switch to ‘aniki’ (兄貴). ‘Aniki’ is still a way you can use to call your older brother (‘ani’ is another way to read the kanji for “big brother” (兄) and '-ki' (貴), when added after nouns related to people expresses love and respect) but it’s considered less formal than ‘onī-san’/‘nī-san’, yet not endearing or childish like ‘nī’/‘nī-chan’/‘onī-chan’ as it has a rough note (kind of like ‘oyaji’). It’s notable they don’t use just ‘aniki’ but add a pejorative. Natsuo goes for a ‘KUSO aniki’ (クソ兄貴 “shitty/damn big brother”) while Shōto, who is less close to his big brother, goes for a tamer ‘baka aniki’ (馬鹿兄貴 “stupid older brother”). More about this though, later on.

YOUNGER BROTHERS AND YOUNGER SISTERS

Normally they’re referred just by name, however in Fuyumi and Natsuo’s case they actually have the equivalent of ‘pet names’ of some sort.

Tōya calls Fuyumi ‘Fuyumi-chan’ (冬美ちゃん) and Natsuo ‘Natsu-kun’ (夏くん). As said before ‘-chan’ is generally affectionate and expresses closeness and endearment and, in case it’s attached to the name, is used from older person to younger person. You might want to translate it something like “little Fuyumi” or “dear Fuyumi”. As for Natsuo… ‘-kun’ (君/くん) is usually used for addressing males younger than the speaker. Boys in the same age group can call each other with ‘-kun’ (Midoriya, for example, adds ‘–kun’ to the surname of all his male classmates… while Shōto instead calls them simply by surname). Sometimes male office workers call their younger female colleagues with it. This is not rude but a sign of familiarity. You might want to translate it something like “young Natsu” but just "Natsu" would be fine as well. Interesting enough while Fuyumi calls Natsuo just ‘Natsu’, Rei also calls him ‘Natsu-kun’, Natsuo being the only one among her kids she doesn’t call just with his full name. Shōto is the only one of the younger Todoroki kids who didn't have a suffix attached when called by his older siblings. As said before, being called something different by just your name is not mandatory but it's possible in Shōto's case this is not happening due to him being kept away from them or due to Tōya having been the one who decided the 'pet names' for his younger siblings.

HUSBAND AND WIFE

Again, there are various ways for a husband to call his wife and vice versa.

In Enji’s case though he commonly refers to/calls his wife as just ‘Rei’ and calls her ‘tsuma’ (妻 “wife”) only once, when talking about her and his children in chap 248.

Another common Japanese way to refer to your husband/wife is by calling them "you" (the wife would use ‘anata’ (あなた), the husband would use 'omae' (おまえ)). This often gets translated as "dear" in English manga.

In Rei’s case she usually calls Enji ‘anata’ (あなた), although, for obvious reasons, in the English manga in this case it doesn't get translated as "dear". In Enji's case he occasionally uses 'omae' for her, but since 'Rei' is his default way to call her and 'omae' is his default "you" pronoun for all his family, very likely his 'omae' with her isn't more meaningful than an ordinary "you". More about "you" later on.

Interesting enough in some houses once children are born, the parents start calling each other ‘Otō-san’ and ‘Okā-san’ and when talking with a young Tōya about Enji, Rei called Enji ‘Otō-san’ while Enji, when talking with Fuyumi, calls Rei ‘Kā-san’ but here it was likely done because they were talking with their children about the other parent and not because they are used to call each other in such way.

Interesting enough Nao didn’t use ‘anata’ for her husband but ‘Kotarō-san’.

THE CHILDREN

Enji refers to all his children by first name, while Rei does the same for all her children except Natsuo whom she calls ‘Natsu-kun’.

Both parents, when wanting to talk about their children without saying their name call them either ‘ko’ (子) or ‘kodomo’ (子ども). Both mean child (and can be pluralized) but 'ko’ (子) is a more general term for a child, which is often used in a neutral or formal context (even when the child is actually an adult) while ‘kodomo’ (子ども) is a more specific and inclusive term commonly used to refer to children in a more affectionate or informal way or to emphasize the innocence and vulnerability of children, often used in educational or parenting contexts (and, in the manga, generally used to refer to the Todoroki kids when they were… well, kids). I know I said I wouldn't mention nouns that are too general but, in this case, I’m mentioning all this because, although Enji has no problems in referring to his children as 'ko’ (子) in chap 31, while talking with All Might, Enji referred to Shōto as ‘ko’ (仔) which sounds the same as “child” (子 'ko’) but the kanji he uses is not the usual one for “child” (子) but this one (仔) which means “offspring” and, normally, is used for “young animals/cubs” or “young plants/seedlings”. It’s possible Enji is using it because, when he does, Horikoshi wants us to get the idea Enji is basically talking of how Shōto was breed and raised for the purpose of defeating All Might, as if he were some sort of racehorse, the full sentence being the following:

‘Kore dake oboe toke. ARE ha… izure kisama wo mo koeru HERO ni suru. Sō surubeku… tsukutta ko da’ 「これだけ覚えとけ。アレは…いずれ貴様をも越えるヒーローにする。そうするべく………つくった仔だ」 “Just remember this. That one we’re talking about… I’ll make him a hero that will surpass you someday. In order to do that… I had/trained/created that child.”

THE GRANPARENTS

In chap 31, when talking about his grandparents Shōto called them ‘haha no shinzoku’ (母��親族 “mother’s relatives”).

'Haha' is the word you use with people outside your group to talk about your mother.

'Shinzoku' (親族) is, under Japanese law, a term that refers to people who we are related to by blood or marriage (you can translate it also as "clan") so yes, it might not necessarily means Rei's parents. It's worth to remember the Himura were an important family with a family head who might not have necessarily be Rei's father (it could have been her grandfather or even her father's male heir), though, due to Geten's story and the scene we saw in chap 301 that in the Himura family the "family head" (当主 ‘tōshu’) was Rei's father.

By the way, the Todorokis instead mention often the 'kazoku' (家族 "family") which is the family unit formed by a married couple and their children.

Shōto might refer in such a formal way to his grandparents either because he's not close to them or because he's talking with Midoriya.

In chap 302 when he refers to his grandparents Tōya called them ‘Obā-chan-tachi’ (おばあちゃん達 “grandma and the others”).

The ‘o’ (お “honorable”) in 'obā-chan' gives an extra layer of politeness while '–chan' (ちゃん) is generally affectionate and expresses closeness and endearment. By using '-chan' and singling out his grandmother (who unlikely was the family head) instead than his grandfather Tōya sounds close to her.

It's possible though his grandfather died when he was younger, hence he referred to his grandmother.

For more about the Himura you might want to read my post about the Himura family.

WHO WORKS FOR THE TODOROKIS

In chap 302 Enji says he’ll hire more ‘shiyōnin’ (使用人 “servant/employee”).

In chap 249 Natsuo calls the person who used to cook for them ‘otetsuta’ (お手伝 “helper/maid”).

Enji, in his role as Hero, has also an 'untenshu' (運転手 "driver"), Kurumada Untenmaru, but we don't know how Enji or the other Todorokis call him, just that Kurumada calls Enji 'Endeavor' (and 'No.1' in the OAV) and uses 'anta' (あんた) with him (more about 'anta' later on), while he calls 'jarinko' (ジャリンコ) Shōto, Midoriya and Bakugō.

'Jarinko' (ジャリンコ/じゃりんこ/じゃりん子/砂利子) is an old fashioned word used to call a "student who can't keep up in school" but it's also used to say just "brat".

In theory, more than to the Todoroki family, Kurumada is connected to the Hero world, but since, according to his profile, he knows Enji by a looong time (and is one year older than him) I thought to include him as well.

HEROES AND VILLAINS

In Enji, Tōya and Shōto’s case, in addition to their own name they also have their Hero/Villain monikers, 'Endeavor' (エンデヴァー), 'Dabi' (荼毘 "cremation") and 'Shōto' (ショート yes, same as his name but written in katakana instead than kanji)… plus Enji also is defined by his ranking (‘No.2’ first, ‘No.1’ after). In some circumstances the family uses such names instead than the usual way they call them.

Interesting enough though, when Shōto interns under Enji, Enji calls him with his Hero name (which is still 'Shōto' but written in katakana so you can’t really notice it in the anime but it’s visible in the manga) and of course he called Tōya 'Dabi' until he discovered he was his son. After that moment he always called him just Tōya and I couldn’t find an instance in which he called him ‘Dabi’ again.

In fact, even after waking up in the hospital, Enji wants to say Endeavor is dead since he can’t kill a ‘Tairyō satsujin-sha’ (大量殺人者 “mass murderer”) (aka Tōya) but what he voices is instead he can’t kill his ‘musuko’ (むすこ) which means “son” (息子) and, when he finally fights Tōya, he ends up seeing him as the kid he was... making him unable to make a distinction between Tōya and Dabi. Once he acknowledges that Dabi IS indeed Tōya, he won't be able to go back see him as Dabi or call him as such, differently from others of his family members.

We never see Rei calling Enji 'Endeavor' but we see her calling Tōya 'Dabi' once, when she tells her husband he must fight him (during the rest of the discussion she called him 'Tōya' or 'ano ko' (あの子 “that child”))... as calling him 'Dabi' probably helps her to distance herself from how she's asking Enji to fight their son (Chap 302).

Natsuo called his father 'Endeavor' in chap 249, during the dinner at which Midoriya and Bakugō were invited. This seems to remark his wish not to acknowledge Enji as his father but as a stranger.

Natsuo also refers to his brother as 'Dabi' in chap 302, but more as something that was created more than as his brother, as he's also likely trying to distance himself from the idea Tōya and Dabi are one and the same.

At the same time Shōto called his father 'Endeavor' during the Stain case when asking to other Heroes about him (chap 55) and during his internship (chap 249), in short when he needed to acknowledge him as a Hero.

As for Tōya, of course Shōto called him 'Dabi' before the reveal. After the reveal, in chap 349 Shōto, before fighting Tōya, starts calling his brother just ‘Tōya’ (without the ‘nī’ (兄) which is kind of rude) then decides to switch to ‘Dabi’, either to acknowledge him as a Villain or to keep emotional distance from him. We know also that in the flashback in chap 352 called 'Dabi' his family's sin.

Tōya isn’t really prone to call Enji 'Endeavor' and does so only in few notable situations:

- prior to becoming Dabi, solely when telling Enji to look at him before attacking Shōto as a child (chap 301);

- when facing Enji as Dabi after Enji’s fight with the Nōmu (chap 190);

- when denouncing Enji on tv (Chap 290);

- during the Paranormal Liberation War when he attacked him (chap 292)... although during the battle he alternated calling him 'Endeavor' and 'otō-san';

- when he repeated what Skeptic told him, that Endeavor was at Gunga... but what's meaningful here is that the reading for 'Endeavor' is given as 'otō-san' (chap 374).

This seems to imply Tōya uses 'Endeavor' solely when he's talking to/about/him in his role as a Hero.

On the other side Tōya never calls Shōto with his Hero name… even though, of course, since it matches with his normal name, no one can realize it.

Now... I said the family tries to distance the idea that Tōya IS Dabi by calling him Dabi... but credits when it's due, Tōya himself said that Tōya died and Dabi was born so he too is keeping the two identities parted in a way... albeith he has no problems to refer himself as 'Tōya' and be called as such, both by his family and by Himeko, who switches on calling him from 'Dabi-kun' to 'Tōya-kun', so more than identities, we should probably say he means the person he once was 'died', as he started aiming for different things and behaving differently.

Not quite Todorokis but still related to them, in chap 301 the Himura family head who’s likely Rei’s father, called Enji ‘Endeavor-sama’ (エンデヴァー様) and ‘Top Hero-Sama’ (トップヒーロー様) instead than using his civilian name.

'-sama' (様/さま) is much more formal and polite than just '-san', to the point it’s sometimes translated as “lord”/”lady”.

The fact that the Himura family head is using it underlines how high he thinks of Endeavor, for being such an important Hero.

Enji also gets called 'No.2' and then 'No. 1' after he rises to the position. Shōto in chap 31, calls him 'mannen No. 2 no HERO' (万年No.2のヒーロー "eternal No. 2 Hero"). Then after he becomes No.1 Natsuo refers to him as such in chap 192, Shōto does so in chap 247, and Tōya does so in chap 191 and 231. In chap 191 Tōya also called him ‘No. 1 hero-san’ (No.1ヒーローさん), when telling him goodbye and that they’ll have a chance to talk again... though the politeness here is probably an attempt at sarcasm.

In chap 290 Enji himself defined himself ‘kono kuni no Top Hero’ (この国のトップヒーロー “this country Top Hero”).

Also I’m placing it here, though I doubt Rei is referring to his Hero role but to how Shōto managed to positively react to all he went through (differently from the rest of the family so he's kind of like a role model to them)… still in chap 302 Rei says Shōto is the ‘Todoroki-ke no HERO’ (轟家のヒーロー “Todoroki’s family Hero”) but the reading given is ‘Uchi no HERO’ (ウチ のヒーロー “our own family’s hero”).

YOU

Polite Japanese speech requires not the use of “you” but the use of a person’s name. However the Todorokis are a family, they talk to each other in an informal way and so they do use also “you” to talk with each other.

Anata (あなた,貴方, 貴男, 貴女 Lit. “precious toward”)

This is the only second person pronoun comparable to English “you”, yet still not used as often in this universal way by native speakers, as it can be considered having a condescending undertone, especially towards superiors. For expressing “you” in formal contexts, using the person’s name with an honorific is more typical (Hawks tends to use 'Endeavor-san' when talking with Enji and switches to 'anata' only when he doesn't want to repeat 'Endeavor-san'.... and while she uses just 'Endeavor' or 'Hawks', when she has to say "you" the Chairman of the Hero Public Safety Committee uses 'anata' as well). More commonly, ‘anata’ may be used when having no information about the addressed person; also often used as “you” in commercials, when not referring to a particular person. Furthermore, commonly used by women to address their husband or lover, in a way roughly equivalent to the English “dear”. Rei uses always ‘anata’ to talk with Enji but, of course, due to their (poor) relation, we never see it as being translated as “dear” in the English manga.

Omae (おまえ/お前/御前 Lit. “polite front”)

This is the “you” everyone in the Todoroki family uses. Of course it comes with a nuance. If used to talk with people outside the family it’s used by men with more frequency and expresses the speaker’s higher status or age, or a very casual relationship among peers. Often used with ‘ore’ it can be very rude if said to elders. Commonly used by men to address their wife or lover, paralleling the female use of ‘anata’. Of course, since the Todorokis are a family, they use it with each other and it’s not meant to be rude (and yes, occasionally Enji used it with Rei though it’s not as recurring as she uses ‘anata’ so it might not have the same nuance)… and since the male Todorokis are rough, tough males who use ‘ore’ they also use it with people that’s outside the family but in this case it’s actually kind of rude (notable how Geten for example uses it with Dabi during their fight).

Anta (あんた/アンタ)

Contraction of ‘anata’ is also generally not used as it’s considered too direct. Can express contempt, anger or familiarity towards a person. Sometimes it can be felt as more rude than ‘omae’ sometimes it’s the opposite. Generally seen as rude or uneducated when used in formal contexts. ‘Anta’ is often used among girls who want to act leading the guy a little bit forcely and scoldishly. There are a bunch of time in which ‘anta’ is used among the Todoroki family members and they’re all when a character is scolding another. We start with Fuyumi who, when scolding Natsuo in chap 187, calls him ‘anta’ (あんた), we continue with Natsuo who, when arguing/scolding Enji in chap 192 and 302 calls him ‘anta’ (あんた) and we finish with Shōto who, when arguing with Enji in chap 351 about who of them has to face Tōya calls him ‘anta’ (アンタ) to tell him he’s the only one who can face All for One. Yes, Shōto uses katakana which generally are used to underline the word, so it's possible it's done to remark how only Enji can do it but also to underline how Shōto, who's angry, is not using his usual ‘TemeE’ (てめエ) with his father but a tamer word. Interesting enough Tōya, or probably I should say in this case Dabi, uses ‘anta’ too, but not with his family member but with Ujiko in chap 350 both to refer just to him and to him and All for One ‘anta-ra’ (あんたら “you” (plural)). Dabi is an ‘omae’ guy who’s generally not polite but calls Ujiko ‘Ujiko-san’, so the fact for him he uses ‘anta’ and not ‘omae’ is probably meant to feel less rude that if he were to use ‘omae’. Another character connected to the Todoroki family who uses ‘anta’ is, as I've already said, Kurumada with Endeavor.

Temē/TemeE (てめえ/てめエ/手前 Lit. “the one in front of my hand”)

'Temē', a reduction of 'temae', is, according to some, the rudest way to say “you” even more rude than ‘Kisama’ (we’ll talk about it in a while) and it’s used when the speaker is very angry. It’s the sort of thing you might translate with “son of a b*tch” or some other insult along the line. Originally used for a humble first person, it’s an ateji, which means either the readings of the individual kanji do not match the reading of the word, or the meanings of the individual kanji do not match the meaning of the word. Shōto uses ‘temeE’ (てめエ) in chap 34 when arguing with Enji (which makes notable how he’ll only use ‘anta’ much later on when arguing with him in chap 351) and again uses ‘temeE’ (てめエ) in chap 292 when fighting with Tōya and Tōya also uses ‘temeE’ (てめエ) in chap 351 when fighting with Shōto (in their previous fight he used ‘omae’ with him). The fact that the last ‘e’ is written in katakana instead than hiragana is often done to put emphasis on it.

For completeness sake I’ll report two other ways to say ‘you’ which some of the Todorokis use but not, as far as we know, with their family members.

Kimi (君/きみ Lit. “lord” (archaic))

It’s the kanji also used to write '-kun'. Informal to subordinates; can also be affectionate; formerly very polite. Among peers typically used with ‘boku’ (僕) (so, as you can easily guess it’s Midoriya’s “you” when he’s not using someone’s name). Often seen as rude or assuming when used with superiors, elders or strangers. Enji uses it when talking with Midoriya at the sport festival and when he observes how Midoriya too was one of them because he should have suffered for his Quirk, showing him some degree of politeness… but he will eventually switch on using ‘omae’ for him during the Dark Hero arc, which likely his meant to imply they gotten more familiar, not that he's being disrespectful.

Kisama (貴様/きさま Lit. "precious lord")

Historically very formal, but has developed in an ironic sense to show the speaker’s extreme hostility/outrage towards the addressee. It’s basically so rude/aggressive it often gets translated into “bastard/you bastard”. Enji uses it when talking with All Might, sometimes outright saying ‘kisama’, sometimes the furigana say ‘All Might’ but the kanji below say ‘kisama’ just to drive home the way Enji is saying ‘All Might’ is all but polite and all this is very rude as All Might isn’t just ranked above him but he’s older than him and a Hero by longer time so he definitely deserves more respect. Enji also calls ‘kisama-ra’ (it’s a plural form of ‘kisama’) Midoriya and Bakugō when they intern under him. This is actually interesting. He starts with ‘omae-tachi’ (it’s a plural form of ‘omae’) when he says he’ll supervise them, then switches to ‘kisama-ra’ when he tells Bakugō and Midoriya to tell him about themselves, then he moves to ‘kimi’ when he says since Midoriya too suffered for his Quirk he’s one of them… to go back to ‘kisama’ when he address Bakugō only… to switch again to ‘omae-tachi’ when he’s addressing the three of them… to go back to ‘kisama-ra’ when he tells them they’ve to gain experience working under him and uses ‘kisama-ra’ again when he tells Bakugō and Shōto he’ll give them the same assignment and also uses it to tell the three of them won’t impact on his work. Long story short, very likely that ‘kisama’ is solely meant to remark how they’re working under him. He also uses ‘kisama’ when he begins interacting with Hawks (who instead, as said before, uses 'Endeavor–san' and when he has to use “you” with him goes for ‘anata’ despite Hawks being an ‘ore’ guy), only to switch to ‘omae’ later on.

CONTINUE IN THE NEXT PART!

[hoeforalbedo]

ᗪEᗩᒪ ᗯITᕼ TᕼE ᗪEᐯIᒪ ✟

Chapter 2

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WARNING: PLEASE READ

Sensitive topics including vague details of SA. Reader will display many mental health such as depression, PTSD, and anxiety. I will also discuss after effects of said trauma such as hyper sexuality, over-sexualizing oneself, over trusting, and many more. (Many cope in different ways however I am more familiar with this side of the spectrum as I have taken this information from my experience.) Suicidal topics. Horror. Manipulation. Blasphemy. Religious horror and possibly hints of religious trauma. Demons. Paganism. Witchcraft (I try to depict witchcraft as accurate as I can however if I make it too accurate, it will seem boring so I did add magical abilities. I write it based off of how I practice it). Possession. Death. Murder. Exorcism. Sex. Ritualistic sex. Female reader. A bit of crack (reader doesn’t take things seriously. Humor is the way of coping 😭)

If any of these themes trigger you, please do not read. You have already been warned.

Writing criticism is appreciated since I want to get better in writing.

Note: This story is heavily inspired by Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, and honestly I was going to write a story like that but I wanted something original. I did leave in some ideas I really liked so to anyone who watched it, you guys may know a little bit of the direction I’m going with for a specific character. Also yay, I did manage to post it but Chapter 3 may take a bit.

Summary: Everything is happening too fast and it just keeps getting worse. Hey, at least you got to see a friend!

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Hongjoong’s body is tangled with yours with only a thin blanket covering you both. He feels so good as he thrusts slowly and passionately into your sopping wet hole.

“Hongjoong,” Whines fell from your lips like a prayer. You dig your nails into his back and bury your face into the crook of his neck.

“Feel so good, squeezing me so right, doll,” He groans in your ear, his tip pressing against your cervix snugly.

“Joong, please,” You gasp as his pace quickens, driving you closer and closer to the taste of your sweet orgasm.

“That’s right. Say my name, doll. Scream it. Worship me,”He starts grunting out nonsense, although it sounded right under the drunken haze of pleasure. His thrust only became rougher, drawing strings of profanity from you. “So sinful,” He chuckles. “Tell God how much you love this demon’s cock,” He cackles, tearing you away from pleasure. When you look at him, his eyes are rolled back to his head and some black substance oozes out of his mouth.

You let out a horrid scream and reached for anything on your night stand. “Get off of me!” You cry, grabbing some object and hitting Hongjoong on the head with it. He then collapses over you and you shakily toss away the object you killed him with, a crucifix.

He lifts his head up, “You can’t run from the mark of lust.”

You sat up immediately, ending whatever nightmare that was. It felt so real, and you swear it felt so good before the whole demonic stuff happened.

That night you prayed. To be honest, during times like these, you suddenly become a devout Christian, or was it Catholic? Does it matter? They both worship God.

“Have you ever seen Doctor Who?” You walk around the courtyard of the church as you ask the priest some questions. The courtyard doesn’t seem to be well taken care of, the shrubs over growing and eroding statues. The grass could also use some cutting.

“No, can’t say that I have,” He shakes his head.

“Well there’s these weeping angels. They’re pretty much statues and when you blink or when the lights go out, they move. I would have nightmares from them.” You remembered you were at the dorms during your college days and your roommate had introduced you to the show. After watching the weeping angels in particular did she start regretting it, as you woke up in cold sweats. You had dreams of the angels chasing you.

“Well the church has plenty of those,” Hongjoong laughs as you shudder at the thought. The leaves crunched under your shoes, as the weather had gotten colder and it seems the world is dying around you.

“Do they ever move?” You ask jokingly as you link arms with him.

He shrugs, “Yeah.”

You look up at him, scoffing, “Oh really?”

He smirks as he nods. “Yeah. There’s one behind you?”

You turn your head to look behind and there was nothing. “Liar,” You huff and Hongjoong came to a sudden stop. Confused, you turned your head back to face the front to question why he stopped.

“No I’m not,” He says as you come face to face with the stone cold statue that looks at you with empty eyes.

“You are so mean!” You raise your voice but you weren’t offended by the harmless joke.

“Michael just wanted to say hi.”

“Well I’m saying goodbye,” You roll your eyes as you walk ahead of him.

He laughs as he watches you slowly walk off, eyes glazing over your figure and the way you kick some rocks while muttering under your breath. His gaze wanders back up and stops at your waist, or at least the middle of your spine much closer to your tailbone. “Hey, you’re bleeding.”

You wave him off, “Not falling for it.”

“No, I'm serious. You’re bleeding.”

“I would feel if I were bleeding,” You turn to him, brows furrowed.

“I could take a picture to show you,” He offers.

You sigh and hand him your phone. He leans down and pulls your shirt up by an inch. “Oh shit!” He gasps, making you panic.

“What. What. What happened?” You ask, trying to look at your back for yourself.

“Let me just,” He snaps the picture then turns the phone screen to you.

“Oh fuck,” You whisper as you zoomed into the picture. It’s slightly still bloody, however you can easily make out swollen red marks that form into an unknown symbol. It’s almost as if you’ve been branded. “Hongjoong, this seems demonic. I’m too hot to be possessed. . .” You whimper, eyes brimming with tears. “My gorgeous face would be ruined by a demon!” Wails come from you as you can already imagine that one girl from The Exorcist. In all horror movies, the host always becomes ugly after possession. “Like I wanted to die but not like this! Even if I’m on my deathbed, I have to remain gorgeous!”

“Y/N, I fear you have questionable priorities, however I can recommend some things since we’re not sure if you’re truly possessed,” Hongjoong says, rather too calmly.

“How do you know?” She grabs onto his shirt and shakes him. “How are you so sure?” She looks deep into his eyes.

Hongjoong rolls his eyes and pulls out a rosary. “What do you feel when you look at this?”

“Trauma. Those times when my parents would force me to recite the rosary ten times,” You shudder. “Wait- does that mean I’m possessed?” You gasp dramatically.”

“Do you feel violent? Like you’re going to hurt me. Or perhaps do you feel physical pain?” He asks.

You scoff, “What? No! Of course not.”

“Then you’re not possessed,” He flicks your forehead earning a grunt from you as you rub the spot.

“But how do you know?” She insists.

“Because as a former exorcist, I know that most demons would immediately react to anything holy, and the fact you’re standing in front of the church shows that you’re not possessed. There is a rare case where a demon doesn’t react at all, meaning the demon is very strong, but there are still some symptoms unless the demon fully takes control of the body,” He explains.

“Oh, okay,” You sigh in relief. “I’m good.”

“But it could also mean that you’re a target of a demon.”

“We’ll get rid of it! How do I get rid of it!” You cry.

Hongjoong couldn’t help but laugh at how dramatic you are. “Sleep with a crucifix in your room, pray at night, and go to confession and apologize for the lack of faith,” He instructs.

“Is that 100% foolproof?” You ask.

“No.”

“Damn,” You huff.

Suddenly, a loud high pitched scream causes you both to freeze and look at each other in panic. Collectively, you both decide to run to where the screams came from. Once Hongjoong pushes the heavy wooden doors open, he looks around and sees that the deacon has already arrived at the scene.

“Seonghwa, what happened?” Hongjoong asks as his gaze falls on the nun, Sister Anna, who’s crying next to the man. Before them is another nun who remains unmoving.

“I’m afraid the killer has gotten into the parish, Father,” Seonghwa says calmly.

Hongjoong walks up to them with you following close behind. The closer you got the more you were able to make out the scene. “Oh my God,” you gasp, earning a look from Seonghwa for using God’s name in vain.

The nun on the pew sits stiff, her hands tied together with a rosary. She looks at the huge cross above the altar however her eyes are deep pits of emptiness. She’ll never see God. The killer scooped out her eyes. Was she praying while getting killed? How did she get killed in the first place? Not a single gunshot or stab wound. Her body is just there, praying.

“I’ll prepare the funeral right away,” Seonghwa says with a lack of emotion, taking the body as if it was nothing.

“Shouldn’t we leave the body so that the police can investigate?” You ask.

“And ruin the peace of the church? Giving a proper funeral for Sister Mary is what she would have wanted,” Seonghwa says sternly, to which you don’t understand. Someone died. Why is he being so calm about this?

“Look, Y/N,” Hongjoong turns to you. “I think you should go home. I don’t think you should see any more of this.”

“But-“ You start but the look in his eyes, the look that says, ‘question and you’ll see the consequences,’ forces you to shut up and turn away from. “Yeah, I’ll see you,” You force out before walking down the long isle till you get to the huge set of wooden doors.

You have decided to cut through the woods, realizing that it’s a very quick shortcut to your house. As always, you pass by the huge oak tree. Maybe this is the reason the town is called Oakheart.

“You bear the mark of lust,” A woman sneers.

Your head spins to the voice. It’s the woman from before. This time, she wears a black thin veil over her head.

“That. How did you-“ You are flabbergasted. You recalled your dream. You can’t run from the mark of lust. “Who are you?”

At the corner of her lips curve into a smirk. She transforms in a blink of an eye. The once wrinkled skin becomes tight and youthful, although there’s still age. She looks very mature. Her eyes are sharp and her blue eyes are piercing cold. Her once pruned lips are pulled tight, the color dark red like wine, or even blood.

“What the fuck!” You scream as you back away. “The woman. The old lady. The grandma! How? What,” You stutter, trying to make sense of everything. You’re not high or drunk so this must be real, right? You pinch your skin to make sure.

You could care less for an explanation at this point as you run off. First you witnessed a murder. Now you’re seeing things. It’s best if you just go home.

“You can’t run, child! You’re a beacon! They’ll find you!” The woman calls from behind you.

You keep running and running until you make it to your street. You’re never going through the forest ever again. You don’t even look back, nor look at where you are going so it’s no surprise when you collide with someone.

“Are you okay?” The man asks, though the kindness is unexpected. In New York, you know you’d get many nasty remarks.

“I’m so sorry- Wooyoung!?” You gasp, recognizing the face of an old friend.

“Y/N? I haven’t seen you in so long!” Wooyoung’s face lights up, erasing all the negative feelings you harbored. Finally someone familiar.

He’s what you can describe as the typical shy church boy, always hiding behind his glasses. He has a soft spoken voice to him, which to be honest does not match his face nor his smile that naturally looks mischievous. He looks like he’s scheming when it’s the complete opposite. He’s a sweet guy.

“Just visiting. Rough times,” You chuckle awkwardly.

“I’m somewhat saddened that you never even visited me,” He frowns.

“I’m sorry Woo, it’s just so many things going on. I see you still got your typical outfit going on here,” You lightly tease, hoping to change the topic and lighten up the mood. “It’s really about time you get rid of those flannels.”

He always wears his typical flannel shirt, buttoned all the way to the top and khaki pants. He dresses like a dad. And of course he always sports his black thick-rimmed glasses. You always say he has the face of a model but he never cares, always telling you , “It matters not the clothing or richness you have. God judges all equally.”

“So how’s it been? Are you working or anything?” You ask curiously.

“I’ve actually taken a job as a history teacher in Oakheart High School,” He chuckles.

“Oh really? Any interesting history?” You ask, knowing that history class back in your high school days was a bore.

“You’d be surprised. You can call me this town's historian, well unofficially anyways,” He shrugs with a chuckle. “How about you?”

“Neurosurgeon. So where are you off to?” You ask.

“Home. You should, too. Y’know it’s very dangerous for us to be out and about with the murders.”

“Yeah, I just witnessed a murder in the church,” You shrug nonchalantly, earning a gasp from him and he quickly covers your mouth.

“Don’t say that out loud. It will cause panic to everyone. Whatever you saw, keep it to yourself. I’ll pretend like I never heard what you said,” He warns you, urgency clear in his eyes, darting about to make sure no one heard. “Now I’ll be going home. You have a nice day okay,” He smiles, taking his hand off your face and walks back.

“Bye Woo.”

This town doesn’t make sense. Nothing makes sense.

—————————————————————

“They found the murderer! Come on! We have to go!” Your father screams, waking up the whole house. He rushes you and your mom out the door as quickly as possible.

“Where are we going?” You ask.

“Church,” Your father says, adding nothing more. You all got in the car and drove 10 minutes. You know cutting through the forest is faster.

When you all arrive, the parking lot is filled, having to park on the side of the road instead. It seems the whole town is there.

“What’s going on?” You ask once more, getting more confused by the second when you see people heading into the woods.

“Just don’t ask and follow us,” Your father responds gruffly.

You said you’ll never go back to the woods but here you are amongst a whole group of people. “Woo!” You whisper, weaving your way to stand next to him. “What’s going on?”

“The murderer, they found the murderer and she was found to be a witch,” Wooyoung shortly explains, eyes focused ahead as he clutches the rosary beads in his hand. “God is gracious,” He kisses the beads.

“Oakheart used to be a coven of witches, that is until the Evangelist came and forced us to turn to their God. Others who refused were burned here,” You remember the words of the old woman. Here you are, standing before the large oak tree once more, anticipating the events that would unfold, and it doesn’t seem good.

Hush murmurs drowned the silence of the woods. It seems everyone knows what’s happening but you. You don’t know what to expect.

“Brothers and sisters,” The familiar voice of Hongjoong quickly hushes the crowd. The deacon, Seonghwa, stood next to him. “It is thanks to our devoted loyalty and prayers to God that we have found the demon causing havoc to our town. A witch.”

“I didn’t do it! I didn’t do it!” Screams echo through the quiet forest as the nuns drag a woman to Hongjoong.

Your hand shakily covers your mouth, recognizing the old woman. There’s no way. A fragile woman like her? But the way she transformed before your eyes. Maybe she did do it. She seems to be staring at you now. You know I didn’t do it.

You don’t get it. If she’s the murderer, why is she here instead of in jail? What are the police doing? What is Hongjoong doing?

“Now we won’t be burning any witches but we know what to do with them,” Hongjoong smiles. He then turns to the nuns who dragged the woman to a platform and only did you notice that there’s a rope tied to a strong branch on the tree.

“There’s no way,” You whisper.

“It’s what happens to witches,” Wooyoung assures you. “History says so.”

Hongjoong puts the noose around the woman’s neck then steps back. “Brothers and sisters, we should not place mistrust in each other, but this is an example of what happens to the worshippers of the devil. With a nod, Seonghwa drops the platform, causing the woman to drop with it, the noose causing her to lose circulation and ultimately killing her. Hongjoong is turned away from you but from where you are, you can make out a smirk.

“What the fuck,” You manage to get out as you back away from the crowd. Everything happened so quickly. One moment she was screaming, the next second she’s limp. You want to puke. You might puke.

“Where are you going?” Wooyoung asks.

“Out!” You scream, causing a commotion. You run away from the group of people, Wooyoung calling out your name and your parents running after you.

You weren’t going to wait for a bus. You immediately call for an Uber as you pack your bags.

“Where are you going? You can’t just leave,” You’re mother yells.

“Well I can and I will. I am an adult!” You look out the window to see your Uber waiting for you. You push past your mother. You don’t even make eye contact with your dad.

Hongjoong killed someone. In fact, he was smiling. You can’t be mistaken.

“I’m not coming back. Not even if you force me,” You put your bag over the shoulder. You walk out the house, not even glancing back as you enter the car.

“No you are not leaving!” Your mom cries, forcing the car door open.

“Let go!” You yell, pushing her, causing her to stumble.

“Theresa!” Your dad calls you by your catholic name, as if a strong boisterous voice would scare you. You close the door and tell the driver to just go. You weren’t going to come back. There’s a reason you go by your middle name rather than your first. Maybe you should have changed your name to Lucy out of spite. They always believe Lucy is just a shortened version of Lucifer. Or maybe Lilith? That would rile them up. It doesn’t matter anymore. And fuck Hongjoong.

—————————————————————

Jung Wooyoung drives home in the dark rainy night, singing to whatever song is on the radio. Suddenly, he sees a person on the road in front of his car which forced him to swerve so suddenly. He looks back in shock then undoes his seatbelt before getting out of the car to check on the person he saw.

“Hello?” He calls out into the dark road, as nobody had invested in more lights. No answer and so he keeps on walking to the direction of where he saw the person.

“Help me! Please!” A man begs from behind him. He turns slowly to look at him.

“Oh my god,” He whispers to himself, looking at the dirty disheveled guy. So he finds himself driving the young man in the back of his car to his house. “Oh poor thing,” He shakes his head. “My house is just at the end of this road. We’ll get you all cleaned up. Tomorrow I’ll call a doctor to get you all checked.”

Wooyoung is quick to give the man the best hospitality he can offer. “I brewed you some tea. I would have gotten coffee if it wasn’t night already,” Wooyoung smiles at the young man who had finally gotten all cleaned up. The man slowly approaches him. “I also found some cookies. What’s your name? Can you tell me what happened to you?” He asks. He’s far too kind, inviting a stranger into his home, offering them refreshments without knowing anything about them. “Did someone attack you?”

The man shakes his head and sits in front of him. “No. The woods did.”

Wooyoung bites his lip for a second before his lips form a smile, sitting down as well. “Wow, well you’re not from around here, aren't you?” He chuckles. “You know, everyone knows about the witch hunt in Salem, but many people don’t know that there was one, right here in Oakheart. 1692. Well maybe the lucky few who escaped. It’s no surprise the spirits of the woods are mad. There was a hanging today.” He starts talking about the eerie history of the town. “Back then, thirteen witches were hanged in the forest,” He tells the man, explaining why he believed him so easily, being one to be a huge believer of superstitions. The superstitions are the reason he becomes even more a devout Christian, not wanting to awaken any angry spirits.

“How do you know so much,” The man asks, “about witches?”

Wooyoung smiles, “Well, I may be the unofficial historian of Oakheart. Plus, I teach at the high school. Oakheart High School. The town is actually named Oakheart because the tree the witches were hanged was an oak-”

“Do you know Y/N?”

“Yes actually! She’s my friend,” He says, taken aback. “Do you know her?”

“Not yet,” The man answered in a distorted voice which made Wooyoung stand up in fear. “But hell will be much livelier with her.” The man raises his arm up, sending a silver sheer to stab Wooyoung’s neck. He looks at the stranger in shock before collapsing to the floor.

The man approaches his body, touching his fresh warm blood while chanting in latin. The stranger transforms into the image of the man, smirking to himself. “Asmodeus, you owe me. I’m not one to play matchmaker.”

[thekingofwinterblog]

Soul Eater - The Manga's Unsatisfying Ending.

It is not a big secret that the Manga ending of Soul Eater is not a well recieved one.

There are a lot of very obvious criticisms of it, wheter it be the way the story has no real climax, the relationship between Crona and Maka is a no ending tale that pretends othervise, or the damn madness of boobs.

There are a lot of things to critique about it, just on a surface level. I have seen plenty of them through the years. What I have no seen though is someone delving into why, on a thematic level, the Manga Ending does not work.

Crona

The biggest problem by far, is Crona's choice in the end, because Manga Crona makes the wrong choice at the end. The cowards choice.

Rather than going out and facing the world, and risk the hurt that comes with opening oneself to other people, Crona instead makes the choice to stay to "Atone".

In other words, the lessons of abuse that Medusa hammered into Crona from childhood, of being completely undeserving of forgiveness is not overcome at all.

Crona admits to not being able to go back to the world after everything horrible that has happened, every sin, every crime, every wrong turn.

In the end, this is fueled by cowardice. By choosing to stay, and keep Asura in check, Crona falls back on every single bad lesson Medusa ever taught.

It's all your fault, you dont deserve forgiveness, you dont deserve a happy life, you cannot grow.

I dont think most readers really realised the full implications of all of this, when reading the manga ending the first time,

But the feeling that something is deeply, deeply wrong with this ending is there all throughouth this ending.

The thing is, that on paper this ending could have made sense, after all this kind of self sacrifice ending has been done a thousand times throughout anime and manga... But it does not work here.

It does not work, because in the end, it completely proves Medusa right. She managed to break her child, and in the end, Crona NEVER managed to recover from it.

One of the single biggest problems fans have with the Manga, is that Medusa's death, the final ending of the single best villain the series ever had, feels incredibly cheap.

This is completely true... but not because Crona murdered her in a pique of insane rage and bitterness, but because thats the final note Crona's story ends on.

Medusa's story feels cheap, because there is no real follow up and closure, and far, far more importantly, a thematic rebuttal to her actions.

Medusa getting herself killed by her own child on purpose is not a problem. The fact that she is not proven wrong in the end IS.

The Manga ending with Crona choosing to seal asura on the moon, rather than having to confront the world, and risk it all on a final battle that the crew might, or might not win, proves that Medusa's assessment of Crona as a coward who could never face their fears and always takes the easy way out, was right.

And that is a TERRIBLE note to end the story on.

However the problems with this ending goes much further than that. It also(unintentionally) rejects Soul Eater's themes.

What is the most defining image from the soul Eater Manga? The one image that sums it up it's themes in one go?

The answer is this one, from chapter 15.

An ending where Crona gives up everything for Maka could work as a tragic ending... But it can't work in Soul Eater, because Self Sacrifice for the greater good or even the people you love is not one of it's main themes.

Soul Eater's main theme is comeraderie in spite of every difference, of embracing one another no matter how much it might not make logical sense.

Or as Maka and Asura's final conversation in the anime puts it, that madness and bravery are two sides of one coin.

It is a form of madness to open yourself up to other people, to risk judgement, to risk having your heart broken or hurt by opening yourself up to other people... And yet that is exactly what the protagonists of Soul Eater does all the time.

And it is best summed up in that spread from chapter 15, where 7 different people with a whole ton of personal issues puts all of it to the side, to stand together as friends against the world.

Because they have the bravery to do so, the bravery to take a risk and open themselves up to other people, to take a leap of faith.

Bravery and madness together.

THAT is Soul Eater's main theme, and it is one that it ultimately rejects in the final two chapters of the manga, and not just with Crona, though that is certainly the worst part of it.

Maka and Spirit

But the ending does not just reject it's own themes on the big scale, it rejects it on the smaller one too.

One of the plot points of the last two chapters that left a BAD taste in a lot of peoples mouths, is the interactions between Maka and Spirit.

And make no mistake. It is BAD. Really, really bad, and just like with Crona's choice not to take the risk of going back into the world and having to deal with it all, it COMPLETELY rejects its own themes for the sake of a bad, bad joke, told at the worst time.

Upon the sealing of the moon, Spirit and Maka comes face to face with the seeming reality that Spirit(and several other people) are about to be sealed with Chrona on the moon.

This leads to a very sweet moment from Spirit, where, in what he assumes will be the final time Maka sees him, chooses to give her a smile to remember him by, so her last memory of her dad wont be him cowering in fear from his impending end.

Which is then completely undone in the next chapter.

When returning to earth, and confirming with her own eyes that yes, maba did save her dad with her magic, Maka's response is to revert right back to the spitefull girl she was at the start of the series.

She once more deliberately rejects her dad despite her very, very real feelings of love and relief upon seeing him alive.

It might not seem like much, but in the end, this one, single moment, in the final chapter of the series, proves that Manga Maka could never defeat Asura, because unlike anime Maka, Manga Maka was not, in the end, able to overcome her own personal fears about opening herself up to others.

Just like Crona in the previous chapter, Maka does not overcome her own personal fears of opening her own heart for the people she loves, despite the risks involved.

And that is an absolutely TERRIBLE note to end Maka's entire journey on, given every single bit of character development she has had before this is about doing that exact thing.

Soul Eater Evans

Now the problems with Soul Eater isnt nearly as bad as the problems with Maka and Crona, where their choices ultimately ended up undermining the mayor themes of the story, it simply tries to shove in the idea there was some greater journey for soul eater, where he had some massive lifechanging revelations, just the usual and generic "I have become way stronger thanks to you".

It's not a Bad note to end his character on, but it's telling that rather than just reciprocrate Soul's very obvious flirting, Maka in the final panels is far more conflicted, and in the end, uses his own words to reaffirm her devotion to Crona.

I like Souls a lot, but the fact is, that at no point in this story did he reach a point where he earned this ending, where he could genuienly say that he was done running away from all his problems. At no point did he seek out his broher to reconnect, he did not reconnect with his family, and while I am glad he was able to reembrace his love for the piano in a healthy way, there is a far cry from that, to being able to claim he's conquered all his demons.

Ultimately Soul's actual journey in this story, is the fact that he is not the main character. That is how he is introduced, as a guy who very clearly wants to be this story's focus, but the fact is, he isnt.

Maka is. it is her journey that we actually follow, is her growth and choices that defines this journey, and it is her relationship with Crona, not her relationship with Soul, that this story places all its hopes, dreams, themes, and climax on.

The fact that this climax ultimately failed as a story, does not change that fact.

This is not to throw shade at Soul and his development, as he IS a good character, with his own journey, but the brutal fact is, that he has not earned this ending at all.

He is Maka's partner, and that IS a HUGE part of this story... but it's not the part that the entire climax was built around, and put all its chips on.

The final pages trying to pretend othervise is another way this ending ultimately failed as a story... but its NOTHING compared to the way it failed Maka, Crona, and it's themes.

Conclusion

While im very, very negative towards the climax of the manga, this is not to say that the ending is completely devoid of good parts.

Kid making peace with the witches is a very fitting ending for his character, and fits right in with the Story's themes... Unfortunately, the conflct between Witches and Meisters/Death was not the aspect of this story that everything hinged on.

less said about the madness of boobs, the better though.

Overall, the ending is not the worst thing ever made... It is certainly not Attack on Titan, who's ending and denouncement of free will destroyed it down to it's foundations... Nor is it an ending that does not make any sort of sense within the context of the world and its mechanics... But it is a BAD ending, that completely fumbled its themes at the single most crucial point when it truly mattered at the finish line.

[cleapallea]

Can you do pros and cons when a man have his Venus squared the mars of a women ? Thanks if you do

Sure!

𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦 𝗦𝗤𝗨𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗦 (partnership)

Mars represent drive, our willingness, ego , scars and ways to take an action. Meanwhile the Venus; Our preferences whether in love and in life.

It seems like if you have your Mars square in someone's Venus more likely there is a tension between you and whoever it was

So the relationship is more like this:

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒

📍One '"passive" and one is "active "

📍One is "stable" and another one is super "aggressive"

📍End up competing with each other due to insecurities —either in oneself or projecting it to other people.

📍Venus person can't change the Mars person. But Venus person can adjust for Mars person.

📍Prone to behavioral issues. A lot of arguments especially for Mars persom

📍Affairs both side

📍Dealing with blended beliefs

📍Addition to aggresivesness

📍Sexual issues

📍Tendency to reject the partner (if not in relationship)

📍needs a lot of Time to understand each other

📍Mars person can leave the Venus person so fast.

𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗦:

📍intense sexual relationship

📍 sex as a conflict resolution for couples

📍Mars tends to chase Venus person especially if it's venusian degree or venusian aspects..

📍Venus person can shock his/her Mars partner like imagine sending his/her own nudes to that Mars person. Anything!

📍Plenty opportunity. They can learn being together.

that's all for now! ❣️

Personally, I am not in favour of this placement since it sounds unhealthy to me before the two couples realise their worth. But of course, It could work out especially if there is efforts, time, open-mindness and awareness.

all rights reserved to @cleapallea

[polyamships]

This is the first of six posts to help expand on the prompts for anyone who needs a little more to go on than just one word. We hope these ideas help inspire people, but they are only a jumping-off point and there will of course be plenty more interpretations we didn't think of!

--- March 1st: Kiss - Potentially a cute one, or a spicy one, to start with. This prompt has the potential to be sweet and romantic, and to talk about how the members of the polycule express affection between them, both individually or as a group. How do they like to kiss, or do they have other ways to express their emotions? Or possibly go with some of the other idioms and sayings involving kissing. Just as a few examples: Sun-kissed, kiss of life, kiss of death, the acronym KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid), kiss and tell, etc.... For artists there are lots of classical art pieces featuring kissing, and lots of art prompts/ideas involving kissing, to find inspiration from.

March 2nd: Hope - This can be an uplifting prompt of someone hoping for a better life, hoping for love with their chosen partners, or hoping for the end of a horrible situation. Or it can be a sad case - someone who has lost hope in the face of some hardship and who maybe needs a little bit of help to get through. It can be hope for oneself or it can be hope for something beyond them - for their family, for their country, or something even greater. How do they work for what they hope for, and what do they do when others - maybe even their partners - need or hope for something that opposes them?

March 3rd: Negotiations - At their core, negotiations are people discussing a disagreement and attempting to come to a conclusion. They can be minor, like who gets the top bunk, or major, like a negotiation ending a war. They can be very personal, like lovers negotiating a schedule when there are too many differing calendars to make it easy to spend time together, or they can be more impersonal, like trying to convince a merchant to lower his prices or a company representative to give them a loyalty discount. In the end, it can often boil down to this - who gets their way, and who doesn't, and how does everyone react to that? Do the different polycule members react in different ways to the results of the negotiation?

March 4th: Misunderstandings - Misunderstandings happen every day between people, both large and small. Sometimes the misunderstandings are easy to resolve, if the people involved can talk to each other; unfortunately, even in these cases, this is often easier said than done, and within a polycule with members who have trouble communicating, these misunderstandings can go from small to large in a hurry. The prompt can be for members of the polycule to figure out how to handle them... or if they can be handled without help. Or maybe they're being pulled into someone else's misunderstanding, on a small or large scale, and have to decide if they want to get involved or not.

March 5th: Online - Taken literally, in fandoms with the internet (or AUs with the internet in fandoms that don't) it can be about characters on social media, experiences with online dating, or epistolary fiction using e-mails/Discord messages/IMs/whatever. Maybe your polycule has a website that the group of them updates, or they help run some sort of website or app that puts them into contact with all sorts of characters and situations. It can also mean bringing something into operation in general, so it could be a project or new system that the polycule is working on, or coming into conflict with in some way.

[onmyyan]

🗡️Psycho🗡️ Anon, here again! #3?

I don’t think you’re ever gettin rid of me now that you’ve told me you like what I’ve submitted to ya. Ya bad for me n my ego. You’re enabling me hun. It does mean a lot to me though and I am very happy I’m makin you foam at the mouth. Your men make me go feral and I obviously have stage 4 brain rot for all your OCs. No treatment for me. No salvation either doc

So here some intense follow up appointment delulu I got from the long ass Ashley Hunt AU story with hard core city girl reader I sent earlier. Buckle up bitch…you’re probably always gonna be in for a long haul with me…

Leavin off from Ash and our HEA, we got twins on the way n shit. And Ash is gonna give us at least another 5 babies too since we his happy lil breedin sow. But we gon speed up in time and not focus too much on dat, cause in the end we got 6 sons and 1 lil baby girl who da youngest. All back to back pregnancies. Ash got dem sexy hot dominant genes and really just gave his sons all the gifts he himself has. Tall, handsome, strong, chivalrous, charismatic, intelligent, etc. (They probably god’s favorites too). And we were like a fuckin printin machine makin copies n wonderin why the fuck we havin so many sons. So we fuckin delighted when we finally got a baby girl and are finally able to put the towel in cause we were also done havin his babies too. We love him. But 7 is plenty…

And so our story is really gonna focus on our lil baby Princess, cause she’s basically gonna be the “new reader insert.” Lil baby Princess grows up as a total daddy’s girl and is also doted on by her 6 big bros. She knows how to do some farm work, though she mostly inside helpin us her mama doin domestic work as it’s a bit more tough takin care of 7 men by oneself and we can always use an extra pair of hands in the kitchen. And you bet Ash is drillin in the same work ethic into his own sons as his own pa did to him. Builds character...

Lil baby Princess grows up wantin more in life. Just like how Ash’s sons inherited near almost everything from him, she inherited near almost everything from us her mama. Princess wanna leave the small town fast and is dead set on doin so when she graduates with her associates degree from the local community college. Her daddy, Ash managed to convince her to stay at the community college first. Get out general eds, stay closer to home before makin the big city leap and potentially getting a bachelors degree. Reluctantly Princess agreed to it but still had to go to the next town over since that’s where the community college is. Her home town is still much smaller…

And so she finally got her associates degree at 21 and is headin to the city to find a job n new life once the summer passes. It’ll be her last summer at home with her family she’s decided. On one of her casual outings ridin a horse she finds a man stuck on the road. Flat tire. Nice car too. He’s very handsome, tall, and muscular…to everyone else. But to Princess he just average and nothin much to look at. That what livin with 7 men built by Greek gods for 21 years does to ya. Makes ya numb to everyone people will conventionally say is beautiful n attractive. And Princess grew up with every woman around her thirstin over one of her bros and her father too. Even women from other towns would find excuses to swing by and gawk at the 7 men workin on the farm. So needless to say Princess isn’t wooed by men’s appearances…

Princess decides to help the poor fellow out cause her daddy raised her right. Offers him up a ride on her horse and tells the man she’ll call a truck for his car later. The man accepts and thinkin she’ll have to help him up on the horse for some time, the man easily mounts on the horse like it’s the second nature? And in an expensive suit too? She shakes it off and they go back to the Hunt farm…

During the ride the man asks Princess her name and what not (and I guess it’d still be Y/N cause the excuse is that she was named after her mama by Ash’s demands). Princess asks his name too, he gives it to her, and then no more talking on her end. This confuses the man as all his life people have usually wanted to make conversation with him. Or have usually always commented on his beautiful appearance by now. But not Princess. She really doesn’t give a shit about a stranded man’s life story. She’s here to do a job and get on with her life. And of course she’s immune to beauty at this point…

They finally come to the Hunt residence where Princess puts away her horsie and fixes up the man some water and food, bein a good host and all. She calls up the local mechanic and informs them of the details. Princess then just straight up leaves the man and tells him if he wants to take a nap, shower, whatever, to help himself. This is a fuckin power move as Princess has truly run out of shits to give in life. And she still ain’t tryin to converse at all with the man. Man is livid right now. Seeing Princess’s eyes filled with indifference. He confused as fuck too. Wonderin if she mentally sound or this is some country culture etiquette he doesn’t understand…

Now for the good shit. The Hunt men all come in as with so many hands workin on the farm now, shit gets done exponentially faster even though they got more stock and stuff over the years. They a little confused at first seein a posh lookin man greet them. But nothin gets bad as the man quickly explains the situation that happened. And the man is stunned to lookin at all these 7 aesthetically gorgeous men. The man is very confident in his own looks and it rarely happens in his life that he starts to get a bit insecure about them…

Ash asks the man where his daughter is, and the man replies that she just left? Much to the laughter of Ash’s 6 sons howling that “they’ll have nothing to ever worry about” with Princess. The man’s ego is damaged at this point. Is he unattractive? Is he undesirable? But he easily keeps a calm and collected face and voice…

The Hunt men politely excuse themselves having to go wash up from workin all day, leaving the man all alone again. We the mama enter the area, having heard commotion n stuff. We were preparing dinner n stuff in the kitchen which was far away. We go through same process and introduce and meet the mystery man. The phone rings and it’s the mechanic tellin us that the car won’t be ready for quite some time and the man will have to hitch a ride out of town if he’s got somewhere to be urgently. We inform the man and also ask if he got a place to stay. He don’t since he was just drivin by the town, so we offer him our home for the time bein. He hesitantly accepts…

Man decides to converse with us instead since we’re the most hospitable and social person he’s met in the family. He asks about our family and we do him. He keeps his background vague and we get the hint not to pock around. He really is just curious about our daughter, the Princess of the family. And we happily tell him all about her. Her hopes and dreams n stuff. Much to his delight that Princess seems like a normal human being n not a mechanical doll…

And that when he get the idea to propose to Princess later to take her with him out of the town to see the city and new places. Cause while he hasn’t fallen in love with her at first sight or anything like Ash did, there’s something about us that’s drawing him near. Perhaps it is our absolute indifference to him, and the fact that he just wants to prove something to himself. He wants to “figure us out.” Princess is a bit of a conquest and trophy to him, and he’s not afraid to admit that. So what’s the harm in this mutually future beneficial relationship? He’ll provide for Princess to get out of town and be able to see the world, and in turn he’ll get us to fall for him. The perfect plan. Nothing can go wrong…

A Princess for a Grand Duke, isn’t that fitting? Though the man will keep that a secret for as long as he can. If she asks questions about his wealth he’ll just pretend he’s an investor or something. One things for sure, Princess will definitely keep him entertained for a long time. A really really really long time…⁄(⁄ ⁄ ⁄ω⁄ ⁄ ⁄)⁄

And scene! I just love imaginin different flavors of a yandere stories. Like dis one is obviously a much more slower burn than the whirlwind romance of Ash and his wifey. And it’d really follow the descent of madness of a Grand Duke yandere who’s truly falling into love and obsession over his lady. He thinkin he in control at first but realize steadily fast that he can’t live without her. And to make it worse, he never lose control of things in his life. Not his looks, his composure, etc. so it makes this predicament even nastier for him to deal with. But lucky for us Princess, havin grown up with Ash as our daddy and 6 big bros who also have some questionable “protective” tendencies, we have a bit of a contorted sense of love too. So our “normal” is much different than other people’s “normal”

Also did you like the hint I dropped in dis drabble about the mystery man’s background? It was about him being able to easily get up on a horse despite being in a suit and lookin all fancy and stuff. Cause not many people can do that. So you either know how to do it as a career…or as a hobby…

Final thought as to why a Grand Duke yandere ya thinkin? From your OCs ya got the Delmonts who are criminal flavor, then Ash who’s country flavor, and then other popular yandere archetypes tend to be royalty, famous, or CEO more often than not. So I thought that royalty would be fun since it’d give the new leadin man not just an abundance of financial power but social power as well that CEO power might lack. Ya know…since royals can have diplomatic immunity and CEOs pretty much don’t. Some new flavors for the spice cabinet is always good. Besides I also just wanna see a man abuse his absolute power with impunity in yandere stories sometimes…So if ya ever decide to make a new yandere OC. Here an idea. I don’t mind ya usin it and I’d be thrilled if ya did

Love 🗡️Psycho🗡️ Anon

A/N: OKAYA THE INSTANT BRAIN ROT THIS GSVE ME SBDJDKD YOU DID IT AGAIN MY LOVE OMG THE WAYYY I INSTANTLY FELL IN LOVE WJTH THIS PIECE EEEE THE SIX OLDER BROTHERS WHO ARE CARBON COPIES OF ASH??? HELLO??? AMAZING WRITING THAT DOWN Holy FUCK‼️‼️‼️💗👄💗 NOT TO MENTION THE DUKE EEEEEEEE AND PRINCESS IS SUCH A PERFECT NICKNAME FOR BABY GIRL I CANNOT YOUR MIND IS SO BEAUTIFUL THANK YOU FOR FEEDING ME AND US ONCE AGAIN😩😩😩😩❤️❤️❤️UR POOKIE FR HERE SUM V SMALL BEC MY BRAIN IMMEDIATELY STARTED HAPPY DANCING W THIS CONCEPT

Princess stared at the man, her hard (e/c) eyes unwaivering, unmoving in their glare. She sucked her teeth, hearing her father's voice in her head as she stuck her hand up waving the stranger over.

"Get on, we'll take you somewhere safe, get this all figured out yea?" Princess says, no hint of suggestion in her soft voice. The stranger staggered for a moment before offering her his famous grin, a smile that had gotten him far in his life, "Thank you- really you're too kind, what's your name?" He says smoothly mounting the horse, expecting some fanfare from the desert rose before him, but instead he got a stiff nod and, "(Y/n)." was all he got.

She clicked her tongue and the horse took off, she hadn't waited to see if he was situated, a small smile on her face as she heard him gasp at their sudden departure.

[selfhealingsweetheart]

a lot of people like to begin and end their research into the possibility of endogenic systems existing by merely aggressively pointing to the DSM5 definition of dissociative identity disorder and using this to make some complex claims like:

"dissociative identity disorder is only ever formed by early childhood severe trauma, and so if you don't experience disordered symptoms of plurality, you don't have dissociative identity disorder, therefore you can't be a system."

however, if you ever bothered to look more into psychological literature, as you should before making grandiose sweeping opinionated claims with insufficient research backing, you'd know that the experience of plurality is actually, within the psychiatric community, discussed heavily.

there are plenty of paradigms where you can find things analogous in description to nondisordered, therapist-endorsed plurality, including therapeutic methods of engaging with oneself as plural as a means of Improving oneself: for example, Schema Therapy (often utilized with borderline patients and people with personality disorders), and Internal Family Systems (often utilized in general types of patients, whether or not they were severely traumatized as a child or even as an adult or adolescent)

as a side note, it's very anti-intellectual to have rabidly-held opinions that you bully people online about without even bothering to do a ton of research, especially into perspectives from academics that disagree with your personal very online opinions. any serious practicioner of psychology would be one who is open-minded and seeking to not Confirm a Theory but to learn and form new ideas based on what their clients can teach them.

it's also quite offensive towards survivors of psychiatric abuse to insist upon the psychiatric system of diagnostics as the end-all-be-all of one's existence, and it smells like major bootlicking to only ever allow oneself and others to be ~valid~ If an authority confirms it. it's not like the DSMs are these perfect encapsulations of everything ever that could happen psychologically, things are added and removed all the time, and those actions often accrue significant behind-the-scenes debate in the academic sphere, where people with write papers on why they think something should or shouldn't be there. remember, the DSM is simply supposed to be a Tool that Guides clinicians in order to help them distinguish certain phenomena from others, but at the end of the day not only is it Not supposed to focus on nondisordered manifestations of behaviors, but it's also not made to reductively simplify any active debate in psychiatry merely because one thing is canonized a certain way, just so you can be Right Online™

anyway. in schema therapy, schemas are said to be parts of people that hold certain typified negative self-belief systems, and patients are encouraged to both label them and speak to or as them, in order to convince their parts of new and more healthy or productive modes of thinking, rather than getting triggered into letting the schema take over and give them negative thoughts and emotional issues.

these parts are understood within the literature to be natural to everybody, because everyone compartmentalizes into belief + emotional structures like these; what makes them 'not dissociative identity disorder' is merely the fact that these parts do not cause amnesia when taking over the core self, and that they are often identified as 'parts' of the primary person, rather than fully separated other people with distinct consciousnesses. nonetheless, this is one of many examples of the parts work methodology wherein the self is casually understood to be multiple or have subpersonalities or parts within psychological literature, and that fact is then taken towards the conclusion of using this experience in a healing-oriented way.

here is an example of schema therapy, an excerpt of A Client’s Guide to Schema Therapy by David C. Bricker, Ph.D. and Jeffrey E. Young, Ph.D. who are from the Schema Therapy Institute;

moving on, there is my other example: internal family systems. in IFS, clients are encouraged by their practitioner to personify and then actively dialogue with their various emotional states and common modes, and also to look for particular styles of parts already well-known by the IFS paradigm such as 'firefighters' and 'managers,' which are two different kinds of protector parts. with IFS becoming popularized nowadays, more and more laypeople are now becoming comfortable with the idea that they have psychological parts, which can be parts of their personal Self or parts that exist within them and hold certain emotional functions, despite perhaps not experiencing the typical heavy dissociative states definitive of disordered types of multiplicity like DID.

here are some excerpts from a book called The Others Within Us, by Robert Falconer, with a foreword by Dick Schwartz, the founder of IFS, as well as many high praise reviews from members of the psychiatric community for his writing, which breaks new grounds and is very in-depth and thorough.

here he discusses needing to have an open mind towards phenomena that are not well-studied yet, and learning to humble himself in order to do so even as a trained clinical trauma counselor in his 60s and 70s at the time of studying and eventually writing this book.

first of all, take note of his discussion of the contestation of even PTSD when they were trying to get it canonized in the DSM. an entire movement including political pressure had to be formed just to get ptsd into the literature. nowadays nobody on this website would (hopefully) contest the validity of ptsd as an experience people could have, but back then, people had to hold their ground against the psychiatric system and even the government just to prove that their experiences deserved to be taken seriously. don't think that this was the olden days either, because the academic world still tends to hold tight to its current state and not be welcoming towards experiences outside its own paradigms, so its good to keep in mind that there are histories and politics going into the making of all this psychological literature, with more room yet for even further and more uncommon experiences to be discussed.

second of all, note that he says that to clinicians working even with people with MPD/DID, it became apparent that the parts structure could be normal for people, beneficial, and even healthy, and that it was simply the severely dissociative aspects of it that they would work to heal, rather than viewing the entire experience of plurality as inherently disordered or solely a product of trauma.

i hope its clear by now that there's a lot of discussion surrounding this issue, but that plenty of it involves the normalization of nondisordered plurality, that plurality can be even healthy and a good, therapist-approved means of self-exploration for people, and that you should not cherry-pick literature while using intellectually dishonest argument techniques online.

endos are valid imho. i myself am a dissociative system, but at least i don't claim that my opinion is the standard opinion based on just that, i actually try to do my research. hopefully this was interesting to you, and please don't discourse on my post. kthxbai

[jamessunderlandgf]

—OCS and CHARACTER TROPES

i’m back slimes with another uquiz to throw the girlz into (tagged many moons ago by @a-treides & @rhettsabbott 🫶🏻)

—THE TIDE

the tide [noun, german origin] refers to a character that considers silence the most powerful weapon of them all. they believe that in silence, there lies no agreement nor disagreement, simply the passive ability to listen. the tides are the ones to believe that there's no use in fighting for their opinion and consider the opinion as itself vastly unimportant in comparison to the rest— they are calm, collected and never let emotions overtake them, at least, not in front of others. some would call them cold, yet that'd be a mistake— there's a great fire that lies behind the facade of the nature of the tides, fire that someone, something set off in them long time ago that refuses to die down. this fire only grows stronger with each minute of the prevailing silence they pretend to thrive in and it is only a matter of time this fire burns them to their core and then...well, only tides know what will happen then. perhaps they'll scream, perhaps they'll cry, desperately trying to tell the world what misery lies in their silence that is not to be broken since no-one would listen to them either way and still, they'd be so beautifully incorrect. there's plenty of stories tides have to tell and even more that shall be listened to—they just need to let people submerge in their water.

—THE DISQUALIFIED

the disqualified [noun, origin unknown] refers to a character who's became too numb to the concept of the world, to the point of deeming oneself not able to express any sort of emotion, whether positive or a negative one. this state is usually the one to follow after feeling too much, as if to balance out the overwhelming sensation of human emotion. living up to their title, they often consider themselves 'disqualified' from being a human, forsaken and unloved, abandoned by the world they've never had interest in. they don't know where they belong or where should they go— every second of breathing air is a waste of oxygen someone worthier could use. the disqualified symbolize the constant state of feeling nothing but tiredness, state where all is merciless but the end. this is the one and only test outcome where i as the writer shall personally interfere— please, my most beloved disqualified, keep longing to feel again. there's so much you've never felt and so much you'll desire to feel again. in the words of Osamu Dazai (who's the creator of the title 'the disqualified' I so happily stole)— “Everything passes." a statement as short as it is true— everything passes, even the numbness. after it, you'll experience so much more beauty of the world— beauty that might pass just as the numbness did, but in it's temporary and unique nature lies the reason why it's to be cherished. so, please, try to hold on a bit. sometimes, holding on is the best we can do and most of the times, it's just enough.

—THE MIDNIGHT LOVER

the midnight lover [noun, german origin] refers to a character that believes their final destination is a second place. they are always there when people need them, but they are never their first choice, merely the one to talk to at midnight when one is the most honest, just to be thrown away the morning after (hence why they're called a midnight lover). midnight lovers love too much, fall too deep and land to hard for anyone and everyone they appreciate, but they never seem to get their love back in the way they'd want, forever united by the dreadful second place in people's lives. many take advantage of midnight lovers, using their heart that's always there to listen as something they can dump all their problems on, not acknowledging that their heart is just as fragile as any other. still, midnight lovers listen and comfort and give their all no matter it draining them— sometimes it's truly astonishing how much love they're able to store within themselves. all midnight lovers long for is to be perceived as something more than 'the second resort', though many struggle to realize their already achieved significance in eyes of others. who knows, many (or majority) may haven't ever been a second choice, they were just lead to believe so via people not treating them accordingly. as a certain saying goes, "one not worthy of your love should not be able to spend it."

—tagging: @scalpelsister 💎 @tacticalhimbo 💎 @benwishaw 💎 @kanos 💎 @pitchmoss 💎 @rosayoro 💎 @thedeadthree 💎 @kirkwall 💎 @rvchelking 💎 @bearsgrove 💎 @florbelles 💎 @unholymilf 💎 @firstaidspray 💎 @shellibisshe 💎 @loriane-elmuerto 💎 @ghostfvcker 💎 @risingsh0t 💎 @cptcassian 💎 and you! 🫶🏻

[crownrots]

— OCS AS CHARACTER TROPES

tagged by @corvosattano, & @simonxriley to do this uquiz, thank you 🩷

tagging @queennymeria, @risingsh0t, @thedeadthree, @shellibisshe, @loriane-elmuerto, @leviiackrman, @sunites, @arborstone, @arthrmorgann, @carlosoliveiraa, @roofgeese, @nightbloodbix, @rhetoricalrogue, @faerune, @dickytwister, @shadowglens + anybody else that wants to do it!

THE TIDE.

the tide [noun, german origin] refers to a character that considers silence the most powerful weapon of them all. they believe that in silence, there lies no agreement nor disagreement, simply the passive ability to listen. the tides are the ones to believe that there's no use in fighting for their opinion and consider the opinion as itself vastly unimportant in comparison to the rest - they are calm, collected and never let emotions overtake them, at least, not in front of others. some would call them cold, yet that'd be a mistake - there's a great fire that lies behind the facade of the nature of the tides, fire that someone, something set off in them long time ago that refuses to die down. this fire only grows stronger with each minute of the prevailing silence they pretend to thrive in and it is only a matter of time this fire burns them to their core and then...well, only tides know what will happen then. perhaps they'll scream, perhaps they'll cry, desperately trying to tell the world what misery lies in their silence that is not to be broken since no-one would listen to them either way and still, they'd be so beautifully incorrect. there's plenty of stories tides have to tell and even more that shall be listened to - they just need to let people submerge in their water. - a (former) fellow tide

THE ICARUS.

[noun, greek origin] refers to a character, first curious and childish, who got so bored of the world's rotten nature they lost all hope in living. as the last resort to find the spark in the world of dying stars, the icarus may have attempted numerous times to touch the blazing surface of the sun, hoping to see any kind of redemption in the reflection of their face in the sun's flames. as a result, their wings were melted down and their bones broken by the harsh landing, yet that still didn't stop them from trying all over again. the people of icarus' nature often believe their place is with the stars and their desire to burn amongst them causes them to forget the beauty of the land they've abandoned, merely flying over it - the world has stored so much beauty for them they often struggle to see through the rays of sun and yet, it is still there. the most beautiful of flowers grow upon the lands their feet haven't even touched and maybe, just maybe, if they spared a bit of their time to give the (them forsaken) world another chance, they'd see that sky might not be the home they truly desire, but one they've seeked just because they have seen only the worst of the world. - a fellow icarus

THE DISQUALIFIED.

the disqualified [noun, origin unknown] refers to a character who's became too numb to the concept of the world, to the point of deeming oneself not able to express any sort of emotion, whether positive or a negative one. this state is usually the one to follow after feeling too much, as if to balance out the overwhelming sensation of human emotion. living up to their title, they often consider themselves 'disqualified' from being a human, forsaken and unloved, abandoned by the world they've never had interest in. they don't know where they belong or where should they go - every second of breathing air is a waste of oxygen someone worthier could use. the disqualified symbolize the constant state of feeling nothing but tiredness, state where all is merciless but the end. this is the one and only test outcome where i as the writer shall personally interfere - please, my most beloved disqualified, keep longing to feel again. there's so much you've never felt and so much you'll desire to feel again. in the words of Osamu Dazai (who's the creator of the title 'the disqualified' I so happily stole) - "Everything passes." a statement as short as it is true - everything passes, even the numbness. after it, you'll experience so much more beauty of the world - beauty that might pass just as the numbness did, but in it's temporary and unique nature lies the reason why it's to be cherished. so, please, try to hold on a bit. sometimes, holding on is the best we can do and most of the times, it's just enough. - a (former) fellow disqualified

THE MIDNIGHT LOVER.

the midnight lover [noun, german origin] refers to a character that believes their final destination is a second place. they are always there when people need them, but they are never their first choice, merely the one to talk to at midnight when one is the most honest, just to be thrown away the morning after (hence why they're called a midnight lover). midnight lovers love too much, fall too deep and land to hard for anyone and everyone they appreciate, but they never seem to get their love back in the way they'd want, forever united by the dreadful second place in people's lives. many take advantage of midnight lovers, using their heart that's always there to listen as something they can dump all their problems on, not acknowledging that their heart is just as fragile as any other. still, midnight lovers listen and comfort and give their all no matter it draining them - sometimes it's truly astonishing how much love they're able to store within themselves. all midnight lovers long for is to be perceived as something more than 'the second resort', though many struggle to realize their already achieved significance in eyes of others. who knows, many (or majority) may haven't ever been a second choice, they were just lead to believe so via people not treating them accordingly. as a certain saying goes, "one not worthy of your love should not be able to spend it." - a fellow midnight lover

[beebopboom]

Refined by Fire

annndddd we are back folks with the Death of one Agnes Nutter

Awhile ago @justhereforthemeta made this post about Agnes having some parallels to Jesus which is what really got the wheels turning in my brain in the first place and well now here we are

but just to recap-

Check out part 1 for a list of all her prophecies that we know of and all the artwork I could find referenced in her book

In part 2 we started to dive into where she was getting her prophecies from through some clues left in her book and on her work bench

but now we are going to look into the events surrounding her death

There is something poetic about the last true witch in England and all her prophetic work going up in flames. Even moreso that Agnes Nutter knew her fate and yet she still went out on her own explosive terms

But let's just start with the basics

Fire

Biblically speaking fire is seen as a symbol of God's presence and a tool for their judgement - to either purify or destroy

But generally speaking it is a symbol of transformation, purification, and rebirth

Pentacle

Now something interesting Agnes wears to her death - other than roofing nails and gunpowder - is a pentacle. From my understanding the main difference between a pentacle and pentagram is just the circle on the outside

At their core pentacles - no matter the symbol on the inside - are objects of evocation. Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa summarized there use as,

“fore-know all future, and command whole nature, have power over devils, and Angels, and do miracles”

Going back a bit to the actual symbol on the inside - the pentagram was actually an early symbol for the five wounds of Jesus represented by the five points. This was a symbol of the church and could be used as a symbol of protection against demons and witches

Now it wasn't really until the 1800’s that this symbol started to be associated with the more modern interputation with witchcraft and even then it was only associated with “evil” when inverted.

There is a long history with this symbol with tons of different meanings - from the body of man to the elements with a common theme of mind over matter - but at the time of Agnes’s death, 1656, it had not yet been associated as a symbol of witchcraft as far as I am aware but I’m willing to accept that maybe it was just an oversight or that I’m reading too far into it as it really is just a small detail.

Offering

A burnt one to be exact - now just hear me out I know we are going off the rails a bit

Yes burnt offerings are laid out to only be certain animals but there are instances of human ones as well - Jephthah’s daughter for example and well, Jesus.

Not that the show skips out on the animal burnt offering just look to the Job minisode plenty of examples there - the goats supposedly destroyed in the explosions only for them to be transformed and the whole ass ox upon the altar - but anyway

Jesus’s sacrifice on the Cross is seen as like the Ultimate Burnt Offering apparently. Burnt offerings were typically used as a way to atone for wrongdoings, to show appreciation and a way to appease God - the act of completing giving oneself over to God.

But because Jesus died on the Cross people no longer had to atone. With the burnt offering Jesus accomplishes the Will of God - completely consumed and ascended to God - he restores humanity relationship with God.

So upon the altar that they willingly went to, they were tied. For they knew the reason of their death and called out,

Father, please. You have to forgive them. They don’t know what they are doing

And let my death be a message to the world. Come. Come, gather thee close I say, and mark ye well the fate of those who meddle with such as they do not understand.

Those around them are unaware of the consequences of their actions - one begs for their forgiveness, the other cast judgement onto them.

Agnes does not take her fate of going out quietly. If her death is be an offering, of the start of the end - well what better way to go than with a bang

All her neighbors that she helped heal had all turned on her and called for her death - so she gave them their judgement through explosion and roofing nails

Her village got a completely new start with her death - a chance to be better

also fun fact the Hebrew word for "burnt offering" actually means to “ascend” mainly referring to the smoke that would rise and the smell would appease God

(also maybe there is something to be said about how they were early for Job and late for Agnes)

Gold

but Agnes’s story hardly ends with her death - No her work lives on but we aren’t here to talk about her prophecies but rather something she gives in return for keeping them safe

Gold Coins

she leaves a letter each for the two men we see having to keep track of the box containing the further prophecies and when those letters are opened out drops a gold coin

They each have a different reaction to the gold coin - one acknowledges it and then continues on to his letter the other reads letter first and then scrambles to grab the coin and leave.

Now gold in general is a symbol of God’s glory and is associated with a divine presence. It can also represent material and spiritual wealth.

but it’s probably worth mentioning The Parable of the Ten Gold Coins yeah?

In this Jesus tells of a nobleman that gives one coin each to ten servants and tells them to use it while he is gone and when he gets back the first one had turned his one coin into ten, the second had turned his into five, and the third hid his in fear of losing it. The first two are praised and rewarded while the third is punished.

The message from this is that of how people are to use the gifts given to them in order to produce results for the Kingdom of God whenever it comes around. People are to use their gifts wisely, responsibility, and productively.

Now remember those two men from earlier - one using the coin and predictions to build a successful law firm and the other almost seems like a punishment? Where is our first/middle man? The Device family? I would say so

*kicking at the door with Job parallels* Not now

Originally I thought this was a lesson of greed but this seemed to fit slightly more. Also way to hammer in that you are a divine presence Agnes with the gold

Agnes has rigged her Wheel of Fate and I hope she is raising some hell up in Heaven - she certainly succeeded on Earth

————————————————————————

and that’s a wrap on her death. Join in next time for the finale where we will dive into the legacy left behind - family, masonry, ……and what’s up with Maggie?

[batsplat]

favorite motogp rivalry not involving any of the aliens ?

you know, the fact that this is so tough shows just how inescapable they've been in the sport. still, I'll give it a shot

you can go several directions here - either stick to the present, or go for stuff this century that's more in the background, or go way way back. I'm reasonably fond of that eighties early nineties period and the varied rivalries they produced between all the anglos... you know, spencer, gardner, lawson, rainey, schwantz, doohan, that lot... (admittedly some haven't massively endeared themselves to me with their post-retirement punditry, but it is ever thus with athletes.) couldn't do that justice here but a few quickfire thoughts

lawson and gardner is one of those fun ones where you have two completely different blokes competing who just fundamentally Did Not Get Each Other at all. gardner was cocky, forthright, brash, whereas lawson was far more reserved, cool-headed, cerebral... and, of course, they didn't didn't just understand each other, they also didn't like each other at all. infamously gardner was not exactly thrilled when his long time rival was signed for honda (gardner's manufacturer) and gardner had to find out by reading the papers

also they shot this safety ad together and apparently didn't speak to each other the entire time, even though they were in close proximity for hours. don't you just desperately want to recreate this with certain riders, hm

anyway, of course there's also rainey and schwantz, probably the one everyone knows... as ever, important they didn't get on and hated to lose each other

all culminated in the dramatic 1993 season, with schwantz determined that it would finally be his year... and it's a classic season, one hears (even if one is unable to judge for oneself), but a title fight with a sad twist when a collision between the two of them at misano ends rainey's career while handing schwantz his only 500cc title. in the end, it also ended schwantz's career, who retired at the end of 1994. of course dorna promised they'd never go to misano again, which they stuck to for a full fourteen years

then again, arguably the vibes were a bit too good back then between riders, like what's all this then (from schwantz)

actually, I suppose none of those were technically 'motogp' rivalries, but. same difference. there's a few in the years after... I do find the whole 1998 250cc season deeply compelling, but it also would feel like cheating because what makes the harada/capirossi thing so fun is that valentino is there acting as the third man. very much the dynamics between all three of them that are so great. plenty of spats in the years after that, but something like dovi/iannone is more just good fun than a proper 'rivalry'. you do generally need some proper development for a real rivalry, and the aliens just monopolise so much attention this century. so you do basically have to fast forward to... well, the last few years, where the most notable ones have been pecco/fabio and pecco/jorge martin

now I do like pecco/fabio conceptually - it's interesting to have this rivalry between two guys who were being moulded into being the marc challengers by their respective manufacturers and then to have had marc suddenly disappear on them. the way it suddenly thrust fabio into the spotlight, how it put all these expectations and pressures on him and essentially made him title favourite overnight... vs how pecco is the closest motogp has had to a dominant force in the post prime!marc era and is constantly uneasily grappling with that legacy. you've got all this uncertainty and insecurity and asterisks and the shadow cast by the greats (who haven't even had the decency to go away completely), the weight of those legacies... also, two kinda funny title fights, if odd ones (especially '22 lol). main problem is that their wildly contrasting fortunes whenever they were title rivals mean they've managed to avoid actually fighting each other on-track. insanely frustrating and the real asterisk for this rivalry

pecco/martin has been strong stuff, yeah. super contrasting personalities, such visibly different riding styles, and considerably more material when it comes to on-track battles than pecco/fabio (still more work to be done though). that intra-manufacturer arc has been fun to follow, this stand-off between ducati's golden boy and the challenger with the eternal underdog mindset. both have a tendency to feel like the world's against them (which is a trait many riders share, sports is such a wonderful breeding ground for victimisation complexes), both are so incredibly unreliable. both rather volatile in their own ways, both battling their own insecurities. also, it doesn't hurt that they've got a bit of shared history as teammates back in the day. would've been interesting to see them as teammates in motogp, curious how jorge reacts to this latest twist... the needle between them has been fun, especially the silly valencia stuff, though I wouldn't mind some more openly hostilities between the pair of them - and I do feel like marc's reemergence has inevitably ensured the two of them are paying less attention to each other. even martin's grand big fuck ducati thing is now more about being rejected in favour of marc than about pecco getting preferential treatment. still, they've got time, could give us plenty more to work with

which is my favourite of those? I don't know... the tricky thing about the older rivalries is that I believe very strongly in evaluating rivalries by actually watching their competitive output and there's only so much of them I can watch. I guess by process of elimination it's currently pecco/martin? for a hot second there I suppose pecco/bez looked like it could be quite interesting, but they didn't really fight for the title and remained friendly so. whatever. it'd be nice if everyone else picked up the slack some time soon

[stormbreaker101]

El Dorado's History, Morganthe's Backstories, and Kane's Plan

Or, in other words, trying to make all of the scattered bits of canon make sense.

Disclaimer: This is headcanon. Though I try to not directly contradict canon, I do have to fill in the blanks a lot, and sometimes something in canon just blatantly does not work with everything else.

So, let's start at the very beginning.

The creation of the Spiral, and the Titans being put to sleep. The way that the Fire Titan sleeps in Dragonspyre and the Ice Titan hibernates in Grizzleheim, the Storm Titan slumbers in (what is now called) El Dorado. I was inspired by this post by @bowl-of-wyrms. Along with the Tritons, El Dorado was home to many species we see elsewhere in the Spiral, particularly in Celestia, Skull Island, Wizard City, and Lemuria: The Watermoles, Crabs, Sharks, Prawn, other Fishfolk, Troggies (though that's such a distateful sounding name for them, I've decided to rename them the Coqui after the animal of the same name, inspired by a friend who has done the same) and perhaps other peoples based on aquatic & tropical species. Collectively, I'm going to call the people who lived there the Doradans.

Closeby to El Dorado was Celestia, a world and people hand-made by Grandmother Raven to steward the Astral Schools, similar to how she made the Kalamar, Dwarves, Nimbari, and Alphoi in Empyrea to steward Life/Death, Fire/Ice, Myth/Storm, and her Edicts. The reason the Celestians ended up separate from Empyrea was because the Astral Magics (being a triad) couldn't make a Paradox Chain the way the other schools could, so Raven placed the world elsewhere.

I like to think of Celestia as becoming El Dorado's moon, or the two worlds being like a binary system. This is in reference to my other headcanons of how the Spiral works as a physical galaxy (which I should write up and post sometime lmao). In any case, these two worlds are VERY close-knit.

Another world that is closely involved with the two is Azteca. It's a bit more of a 'third wheel' in the system, but there had been the trade of knowledge and craft between Azteca and the other two. Azteca has its own extensive craft of Astral magic (as seen in-game with the spells you can learn from there), and El Dorado contains plenty of Aztecan architecture and stonework (I shall explain my evidence for this headcanon shortly).

Aside from architecture and magic, a third notable craft came from these three worlds coming together: the Golden Organs. The Organs were devised to help one control the Storm Titan if he were to ever wake up again. They channel different aspects of other Schools of magic to help one counter and bind Storm.

The Golden Eye gives its user perfect perception, and draws on the Life school as the force of awareness and existence. Observing everything from the mightiest of forces to the smallest pieces of being. It takes in both information and magic, opening more than just your physical eyes to all that the Song of Creation has to offer.

The Golden Mind gives its user perfect recollection, and draws on the Ice school's tankiness. It works as a magical storage system to contain and withstand all the information that comes through the Eye, protecting its user from overwhelm. (And from that perfect knowledge retention comes heightened intelligence like we see in Kane.)

The Golden Heart gives its user the ability to hold all the mana that the Eye helps you take in, drawing on the Fire school's connotations of passion and energy. In nonliving beings such as clockworks, it would also give them the capacity to feel desires and emotion to the extent that a living person does.

The Golden Hand gives its user the strength and precision to harness all the mana within the Heart, taking inspiration from Death being all about finality and transformation and channeling the fear from oneself to others.

Missing just one of the four Organs when trying to control the Storm Titan can spell disaster for both the entity using them and for the lands around them.

El Dorado's reputation of being home to wondrous magics has existed for just about as long as El Dorado itself has existed. Ages ago, the Golden Hand and Eye were stolen away and lost elsewhere in the Spiral. This thievery spurred the Doradans and Celestians to create the Golden Sentinels to guard the remaining two Organs, which were basically souped up versions of the various Constructs we see in Celestia.

So that's my headcanons on El Dorado. Now onto my Arc 2 thoughts.

In my interpretation, Morganthe grew up in Avalon, raised by her elder brother Malory and mentored by Merle Ambrose. After King Artorious's near-death and transformation into the Pendragon, Merle Ambrose decided to leave Avalon and found Ravenwood Academy & Wizard City. Morganthe was among the first students enrolled.

She also became the first student expelled from Ravenwood after her attempts to practice Astral magic nearly resulted in the destruction of Wizard City. She joined Coleridge's crew and ended up in Khrysalis. After destroying the Radiant Alcazar (the burrowers' own Star magic temple) she, Coleridge, and the crew landed on the new North side of Khrysalis, where the Arachna were quick to take her in. They helped her master Sun magic in the Solar Arc, but couldn't help her with Moon and Star. She also began to earn the title of Shadow Queen here, as the Arachna recognized her potential and were willing to build her up as theirs.

Thus began Morganthe's warpath. She started in Zafaria, claiming it as a base of operations (which is how I'm interpreting the whole "Zafaria was once her home" comment that Avalon seems to otherwise immediately retcon) and trying to bully her way into learning its Star magic. She gained a sizable following from each of the four nations, though lost the Deck of Shadows that the Arachna gave her in a fight against the newly founded Council of Light.

Embittered by her loss not just in the new Star magic she had just gotten from Zafaria but also the Sun magic from the Solar Arc, Morganthe decides she must go big or go home. So she goes big, marshalling the new Morgantine Army against Celestia, the divine center of Astral magic. The Army is made of Shadow Weavers from the Arachna, some of her Zafarian followers, and the undead she pulled from Celestia's own graves.

This is where El Dorado and Morganthe overlap. The Celestians and Doradans summon the Storm Titan to try and turn the tide (ha) against the Morgantine Army. However, only having the Heart and Mind was their downfall. Without the Eye, they couldn't take in all of the power that Storm had. Without the Hand, they couldn't control what power the Heart was able to absorb and store.

The Storm Titan ended up permanently flooding Celestia, knocking Celestia & El Dorado off of their regular orbits, and even chipping some pieces of El Dorado to scatter into the Spiral. One group of chunks became its own world: Skull Island, where we see remains of Doradan and Aztecan society today in its scattered ruins.

As for Morganthe, she failed to go big so she had no choice but to go home. Back to Khrysalis, where she finally relented and admitted that she couldn't grasp Astral magic yet. It was always far too slippery. She needed something stronger. She needed to actually use Shadow. Becoming the Shadow Queen not just in title, but in ability. It was the only avenue she could see left, the last option presented to her.

Oh and because Lemuria has had me in a chokehold for the past 2.5 years and will continue to strangle me for years after, it's only a few years after the Storm Titan's destruction (also known among the surviving Doradans both on El Dorado & flooded Celestia as "The Great Storm") that Stallion Quartermane leads the Old One to Celestia. The Old One took a fragment of what little dry land already remained and some of the Watermoles & Sharkfolk for Lemuria (whose descendants we see there today), swooping in as some benevolent savior that they oh so desperately needed after they just suffered a mass-extinction event and the loss of a LOT of their people and creations to the flood.

And now this headcanon history jumps some 1500 years later, when Marco Pollo creates the map to El Dorado. He and his crew make the journey there, and Gazpaccio manages to snag the Golden Heart and Mind, though not without angering the Golden Sentinels that the ancient Doradans and Celestians had made after the first thievery.

Gazpaccio puts the Golden Mind to use, creating Kane to help him get a leg back up in society after his former financial allies, the Tortellini family, kicked him to the curb. When the Polarian War breaks out, Gazpaccio released Kane to the King and Queen of Valencia as a mechanical master of strategy that could halt Napoleguin in his tracks.

There's a funny interaction that happens in the background that nobody is really aware of. Out of the four major Spiral Powers--that being Marleybone, Monquista, Valencia, and Polaris--the lattest is the most magical. It is home to the Auroracle (ancient spirit able to give prophetic messages to those who ask it), the Luphilim (guardians of the Auroracle and other divine sites in the Spiral) , and the majority of Borealis Gemstones (the purest chunks of the First World). I'm of the headcanon that Napoleguin became such a threat to the Spiral Powers because he dared to integrate magic into politics and war. He became essentially a battlemage general, similar to Grand General Spitfire perhaps.

And Kane just so happens to be made of an artifact designed to help one control uncontrollable magic. The Golden Mind's more ancient programming kicks in, giving him the drive to rein in magic. First he establishes the Armada to break Napoleguin's army. Next, he encourages the Valencian royalty to include a term in the post-war peace treaty, that magic shall not be involved in international politics. This treaty later expands to the Armada outlawing all magic.

The Golden Mind's anti-magic programming kicking in also activates another ancient piece of code it has: seeking the other Golden Organs. This is what drives Kane to seek El Dorado, to complete the set. He doesn't know where the other Organs are, but is certain that they, schematics for building them, or clues as to their whereabouts, are in El Dorado. And thus, canon Pirate101 (Arc 1) plays out.

also yea this means that Kane destroying the Golden Heart is stupid and just Does Not Work with this headcanon. I am fully of the belief that the Heart had to be destroyed just so it wouldn't stay an unresolved plotpoint as the writers had to desperately tie the plot up in Valencia Part 2. That isn't to say that Kane in this AU would want to immediately install the Heart. Having a potentially-infinite store of magic without having the tool necessary to channel it (i.e., the Golden Hand) may only cause him difficulties. He would hesitate to install it until he had the Hand.

As for Pirate Arc 1's end, with the Machine taking the Golden Mind and Queen revealing herself to be alive?

That's a story for another time.

[aziraphales-library]

Hi!! Thank you for doing all this! I wasn't sure if this was already something you've been asked about, but do you know of any arranged marriage fics? I keep trying to find some but the filter always looks for the arrangement instead. I figured I'd give asking you a shot!

Thank you!!

Hello! There are a few posts on our #arranged marriage tag. Here are some more for you...

Comfort, Keep, and Honor by Meridians_of_Madness (M)

If Heaven and Hell decided that they needed their Earth operatives married straight from the beginning- well, it all ends the same way, but the road getting there is different. An Arranged Marriage AU.

An Arrangement of True Minds by Sodium_Azide (T)

Two families, alike in pragmatism if not dignity, make an arrangement 14th century style.

Aziraphale Fell and Anthony Crowley do their family duty, as they understand it, but their actual sacrifice wasn't written in the prenup.

Circumstances of Distinction by angelsnuffbox (M)

"Once, when Aziraphale was younger and far more of a romantic, he had hoped to be swept off his feet into a whirlwind romance: to feel his heart grow asunder over the passionate thrills of love - a Shakespearean love, filled with flowery words and heated confessions. But such aspirations did not long last. In these circles of society, people married for power. For alliance. To marry for love was to condemn oneself to a life of poverty. And to find that love, out of circumstance, from the stale negotiations of a wedded alliance was above all the greatest privilege, one that could not be afforded by even the wealthiest creature in the world."

*

Sir Anthony Crowley has been living his independent life as a cast-out younger son when he had a baronetcy and failing estate suddenly thrust upon him. Mr Aziraphale, son of a wealthy tradesman, could be the answer to his troubles. A balance of rank and wealth, was this not just what unions were for? A series of meetings in the ballrooms of Bath will determine what fate has in store for these two.

A (non angsty) Regency era arranged marriage AU

Just Married by TawnyOwl95 (E)

Aziraphale East does not wish to get married.

His mother has other ideas. After all, what other choice does a gently bred omega have?

When Aziraphale persists in rejecting suitors, Mrs East takes matters into her own hands. However she has thoroughly underestimated how stubborn her youngest child can be.

As does his new husband.

to linger in you by NaroMoreau (E)

An arranged marriage is set in place before Aziraphale can be crowned as a King. He hates the idea but there's nothing to be done.

Luckily, his betrothed turns out to be quite agreeable, except...

... not everything is as it seems.

Incorporation by Ack_Emma (E)

Best friends from rival wool merchant families, Antoinetta Crowley and Aziraphale Fell are shocked when their parents arrange a surprise marriage between them.

But this new arrangement is a chance to be on their own side and to be left alone for a bit. Their lifelong friendship is solid, what could go wrong?

As it turns out, plenty.

Times are changing, and married life is harder than it looks when you're a pair of young, ineffable dorks.

- Mod D