#There. You didnt see it but a process occurred.

[hajihiko]

you know I had to do it (to em) <- link

[taeyungie]

😺

[milf-harrington]

i had dinner with my cat tonight and what do i mean by that, you may be wondering? well it means i sat out the front while she ate a mouse right next to me, just crunching away while i was on my phone

[markiemelon]

ordinary

fluff ─ ੈ♡˳ no warnings! ˘͈ᵕ˘͈

idol!jaehyun x gn!reader

this one’s for all my delulus out there!

{6:33pm} ♡‧₊˚ ↴

it wasn’t his job that made him ordinary, it wasn’t his talent, and it certainly wasn’t his looks.. but it was the little things he did, like wanting to go to the convenience store with you at 2am even after a long day of photoshoots and promotions.

it’s starting to get colder, and leaves are turning brown again. just like it was when you met him. this time of year makes you remember the first time you crossed paths.

you were working at a cafe, your first day, first job. he, of all people, walked in. you felt your heart stop and start again. of course you knew who he was, but you didn’t dare say anything. you kindly welcomed him, holding back the urge to ask for a picture or an autograph.. you were too shy to do anything like that.

you’ll never forget his order. it still hasn’t changed. you called it out. “extra hot caramel macchiato, two pumps hazelnut, extra whipped cream.”

he was off to the side of the counter, jotting something down on piece of paper. his head perked up at your call, and he smiled.

he payed in cash, and managed to slip something in with it. a little folded up sticky note wedged in between the bills. you wouldn’t have noticed it if it hadn’t slipped out and fallen onto the floor. “oh, did something fall out of—”

“don’t worry. that’s for you.” he interjected, taking the change you held out for him in your hand. “well thanks. have a nice day.” he nodded on his way out.

after watching him exit in awe, you picked up the note. a string of digits was written across it in really poor handwriting. it read ‘text me?’ but it actually looked more like ‘taxi man’

but you couldn’t focus for the rest of the day. seeing him in person was enough to shake you up, but for him to hit on you? you got a least 4 orders wrong after that.

when you finally got home, you were hesitant to type the number into your phone. did he really mean to give it to you? that’s dangerous… for all he knows, you could be a sasaeng.

you ignored any doubts and just did it anyway. you had no idea what to say. not wanting to freak him out or act like a crazy fan, you went with something simple.

hi are you the guy from earlier? caramel macchiato?

shortly after you sent it, you got a response.

yeah that’s me

you stared at your screen expressionless, trying to process what was going on. and then another text came through.

sorry that note was so sloppy. actually i was worried you wouldn’t be able to read it

im jaehyun by the way. could i get your name?

all you could do was laugh. it was unbelievable.

surprisingly, you slept pretty well that night. but you woke up a little disappointed, thinking you’d just woken from the best dream ever. you picked up your phone to check the time only to see a message from a number that had yet to be saved as a contact.

you working today?

you took a second to notice the messages above it, where you exchanged names. your heart fluttered, but then it dropped. it was already noon and jaehyun’s text is what reminded you that you had a shift at 1:15. your thumbs slammed against your keyboard to respond.

yes i totally forgot

you pulled yourself together in like 10 minutes. hair kinda messy, eye bags on fleek, you head out. you were in such a hurry, it didnt occur to you to check if he responded.

nice. i’ll see you there

but you left him on delivered.

you made it just on time. you reached for the door handle but someone else beat you to it. a familiar voice spoke. “here, i can get that.”

you weren’t expecting to see jaehyun right beside you, and you obviously weren’t used to seeing his face up close and personal. “oh it’s you-” your hands instinctively covered your mouth in surprise. “what are you doing here?” you avoided looking directly at him as you made your way inside.

he followed behind you. “i have a day off.. and i was craving coffee.” you rubbed your cold hands together. “is that so?” heading to the back to put your things down, you tried hard not to show how nervous you were.

you came back out with an apron, and you made sure to fix your hair up a bit. jaehyun was standing on the other side of the counter like he was ready to place an order, so you had to think of him as any regular customer. “what can i get for you today, sir?”

“can i get a… date with you?”

at that point, it had started to sink in. that you actually had a shot with this guy.

“sir, that’s.. not on the menu.” you teased with a sudden confidence, looking him in the eye.

yes, this was jeong jaehyun. but at the end of the day, he was still a man. and like any man, you wouldn’t let him pull you so easily.

“it’s not?” he answered, his gaze lingering on you so naturally. “hmm…” with a quick scan of the menu, he continued. “a caramel macchiato is fine, then.”

one thing led to another, and the untouchable superstar jaehyun you couldn’t believe was real, was now the annoying jaehyun who refused to leave your home.

the unreachable jaehyun who travels the world, performing at sold out stadiums, is still the jaehyun who sleeps through his alarms, and sings in the shower…

now you know he’s not unreachable or untouchable, but it was still hard for you to understand how such a special person… could really be so ordinary.

thank you for reading 🌱 reqs always open

[onskepa]

Halo Hello Halo! I hope you are having a mighty fine day/night!

I hope this is alright but could I request a neteyam x avatar,na'vi! Reader?

Basically the reader is pregnant with what's supposed to be their first born. However, fate would have it that y/n would give birth to triplets! A never before heard of phenomena, due to na'vi usually having children one at a time and even then twins were a very rare event to occur!

I dunno I just like the idea of reader giving birth to triplets much to the sully family's surprise. Plus I couldn't help but think of how funny it would be for neteyam to be pacing outside the door for hours and the almost faint when finds out he doesn't just have one or two babies, but three!

Hellooooooooo!! once I read your request I KNEW the pic for it! sorry it took a bit to make it but I hope you enjoy!

Syawn series

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Syawn

[had to lol]

It was night when the moment arrived. All of the Omatikaya gathered near the tent of the Tsahik as they prey for the woman who is about to be a mother. Loud screams echoed the forest, all the mother's recognize those screams. Screams of pain and love.

In the tent mo'at, neytiri, kiri and tuk were aiding in the labor of the woman whom goes by the loving name Syawn, a name called with love.

Syawn was about to bring her child to the world of pandora. But by Eywa it hurts!

Tuk does her best by holding Syawn's hand as means to reassure her and give her the push to keep going. But tuk can only do so much.

"mama she is gonna break my hand...!!!!" she squeaks in pain. Small tears ready to fall from her eyes. But her pleas and begging were tuned out by the screaming woman beside her.

Mo'at and kiri were very concerned. Yes it is normal for the women to scream and cry during the birthing process, but Sywan's screams were louder, more painful. Of all the years assisting mother's to birth, they know the difference in the screams and cries. This one was different. Not terrible, but also not good.

On the outside of the tent, Jake and lo'ak were doing their best to keep neteyam calm. As calm one can get as they hear their mates cries.

"bro you are going to make me dizzy just seeing you walking like that" lo'ak groans. Neteyam was walking back and forth to no end as he was lost in this thoughts.

"I can see a ditch being created" jake says as he tries to make light of things. "You're not making things any better" neteyam remarks, huffing and feeling tense.

His mate's screams seems to no end, the urge to go in there and hold her hand, whisper in her ear, to try anything to ease her pain. He understand labor is a difficult thing a mother must go through as means to bring life into the world. He has heard his own mother screams as she births his siblings.

Jake having enough, he gets up from where he was sitting and grabs neteyam by the shoulders, looking at him eye to eye. "I know what you are feeling. I was there. I know you want to be with her, comfort her and want to take away her pain. Believe me son, I know. But your grandmother and sister knows what they are doing. They have done the same process many times. If it will make you feel better, why not go to the spirit tree?" he offers.

Neteyam didnt felt any better but knows his father speaks from his good heart. He was about to respond when the screams stopped. Silence all around now.

Fear and panic washed over neteyam. Fearing the worst, he runs towards the tend when tuk ran out, a big smile on her face.

"they are born!! they are here!!" she grabs her brothers hand and drags him into the tent.

He enters, the first thing he sees is his mate sleeping peacefully, exhausted from the process. He softly places a kiss on her nose, doing a small payer to Eywa that she had made it through. After making sure she is ok, he turns to his left.

And there, in a soft lighting from the lantern, shows mo'at, neytiri and kiri each holding one baby in their arms.

It wasnt one, nor two, but three na'vi babies. All small and very cute.

Mo'at looked at her newly born great grandchildren rather in shock and disbelief. Birthing one single child is common, twins is a extreme rarity, but three children at once? Impossible. A true blessing given by great mother Eywa.

Neytiri was also in shock but happy. Jake has explained he was a twin himself, that he had another half of himself. She understood she would have mostly likely birth twins. But it never happened.

To see three na'vi babies born at the same time, she felt lucky to witness such a scene. Possibly something that would only ever happen once.

Kiri was way too happy. Such a phenomenon right before her eyes! No doubt Eywa has blessed her sister to be this fertile. A wonderful gift to have.

The three children were exactly identical. Little tuffs of hair, shining bioluminescent dots decorated on their small little bodies, small hands and feet, their tails curled to their sides, making small noises. Cute ears pinned back, little round but definitely ears of na'vi.

Neteyam was shocked beyond words, lo'ak and jake enter to feel the same way.

"Well I be damned...." jake muttered.

Lo'ak chuckled in disblief. "Three? how is that even possible?"

"its not...this has never happened" mo'at replies.

Jake huffs a bit, smiling to see his first grandchildren. "I bet you are feeling excited aren't you neteyam?"

THUMP!!

Everyone turns to see neteyam passed out flat on the floor.

"neteyam?"

Ngl, I low-key want to make a part 2 to this. Whatchu guys think? lemme know! Hope yall enjoyed!

Syawn = blessing.

[comicaurora]

Lighting critique of a recent panel ! Dark ambient lighting is a favorite art subject of mine, so i figured this would be a good time to give some input ! ii say as if we havent been in the undergroound chapter for like a month in which it didnt occur to me to pay attention to lighting Oh well loool here it is nowwwwwwww hope you dont mind the input

Huh.

Okay, so first off, thanks - this is cool and your lighting looks very nice. I look forward to seeing what you make!

Second - I really hope sending this kind of ask isn't a habit of yours, because unsolicited artistic criticism comes across as remarkably rude.

Art criticism for the purposes of improvement is a social contract entered between two artists, typically in a scholastic environment. An artist presents their work to other artists whose opinions they trust and value, and those artists weigh in with their thoughts. Critical to the process is that the presenting artist is showing their art for the purpose of improvement, and they're prepared to receive that input because they're actively asking for it.

In contrast, I make this comic so people can read it, and while I certainly don't mind if they take it apart to analyze it or find ways the writing and art could be improved, I, the creator, am not asking for that and - more importantly - will not really benefit from it.

For instance, in this case, my style of background lighting and shading is optimized most specifically to accommodate for the fact that I need to make a lot of these pages quickly, and correspondingly cannot give everything 110%. Any individual panel could absolutely be more polished, but I often shade these backgrounds in batches of ten pages or more, each page with an average of six panels that need individual shading. So that's sixty individual backgrounds I need to shade in one go. It doesn't make your advice wrong, or even unhelpful for an artist setting out to learn this kind of technique - but it does make it unhelpful for me. This is something you realistically had no way of knowing, and I don't hold it against you! But this is why I have a short list of artists and writers whose input I actually ask for sometimes, and that list is composed of people who know me, my creative priorities, and how my process works. Because they know what I'm working with, their advice stands a much better chance of being actually helpful to me.

Criticism, like all art, has an audience it is designed for. In art school environments or artistic coworker situations, the audience for the criticism is the artist being critiqued and the other artists who are learning from the communal experience they are all agreeing to share. This is the exception and not the rule, however. Outside of this space, the audience for criticism of a work of art is typically the subset of the audience for that work of art that are trying to learn something from the experience or understand what did and didn't work for them. This group can discuss what they did and didn't like, what they would have changed, what parts worked for them that may not have worked for other members of the audience, etc. This space of critical analysis forms the backbone of most fandoms and can be incredibly interesting and rewarding to play around in.

The audience for that kind of criticism is not the creator of the art. In the same way a creator can never be fully immersed in their own fandom audience, this form of communal critique from the audience side of things does not work when directed at the creator. In the context of this work of art, we exist in very different spaces and operate under different parameters. If there's one thing I learned from back when I used to check in on the fan discord community, it's that most conversation in this space operates under the assumption that the creator will not see it or take it personally. I cannot be in the audience of my own audience.

All that to say, thanks for the thought, but please be careful doing this in the future - tumblr is the land of kneejerk hostility and poor reading comprehension, and I don't want to see you getting shredded for a kind intention. And I hope some people find this impromptu tutorial helpful!

[prof-peach]

hey, just wondering if shiny pokemon need specific needs or to look out for certain things? I have a shiny phantump and i keep on thinking that the leaves are dying and i dont know what to do.

some do, some dont.

If the shiny in question is bred legally or was found in the wild, and had all its health checks, which every trainer owned mon should have had (ie. go to a centre and get them to look them over for genetic disorders that may cause issues long term, or that will need to be worked with) then you shouldnt have much to worry about.

Nurses and doctors at centres will pick up on any issues in the screening process. The 'shinies need more care' chatter people hear bout it based off badly bred individuals who came from mass produced litters that didnt have the best start, resources, or care. Sick parents lead to sick offspring more often than not, so we hear a lot of rumours being spread that shinies need like LOADS of special care, when more oftan than not theyre ordinary give or take. It is just a presence of a different protien in their skin and fur that causes the sparkle.

Health issues can occur regardless of course, but just get them checked. At low light levels green leaves are more efficient at photosynthesis, but at normal bright light levels, green and red show very minor, to no differences. Seeing as Phantump are somewhat nocternal and shade loving pokemon, but also can eat and pull energy off living things, i'd say you dont have anything to worry about. at the utter most you may need to increase their hours of light by 1-2 hours a day if they dont go out in the day. Not a huge deal, UV lamps will do this if you dont have a great deal of time outdoors too.

If they become lethargic or agitated, that tends to be a sign somethings up. Itching horns, weeping sap, leaves falling regulalry (not just one now and then), dry bark, cracks, overly translucent bodies, and excess sneezing are all good heads up that you should get them checked however.

[anyonewannasteponme]

Summary: Your Uncle Aegon enjoys sneaking into your room at night and making you his. Especially after you’ve misbehaved. (Also Helaena and Aemond are married because I say so)

Warnings: Incest, Explicit Sexual Content, Impact Play, Slight Non-Con

Authors Note: I want to preface by saying that I haven’t watched House of The Dragon yet so if I write Aegon a little out of character take that into consideration please this is far from perfect I just wanted to write something for fun. I just want a horrible man to ruin me <3

Your stomach was in knots, an acute feeling of dread had been plaguing you ever since you had stormed off from the disastrous family dinner. You felt awful, your Grandsire had only been trying to achieve one thing between your Mother and Brothers and Alicent Hightower and her boys. Unity. And it had been going well, until conversation had been shifted to Luke and Jaces legitimacy due to your Uncle Aemond’s unfathomable pride. Strong boys, he had called them knowing exactly what open wound to poke and prod.

Sure enough after Aemond slipped in the strong comment he and Jace were fighting. Helaena had let out a gasp as her husband got a punch to the jaw, one he rightfully deserved in the moment. You’d left shortly after, stormed out you supposed, you were furious. Unlike your brothers you had Targaryen features, like your brothers you were very much a bastard. It was just easier for everyone to pretend that you werent. You could pass as a true born Targaryen with your gleaming violet eyes and silver hair. Luke and Jace had a much harder time than yourself and you wished with all your heart that you could save them from the cruelties of the court. What had really wound you up was Aegon. The way he had slammed your brother down against the table unflinchingly had you fuming. How he could share your bed, yet insult your whole identity was a mystery.

A sharp rap on your door signalled his arrival. You knew from the brief few second pause between the previous violent knocks before a string of more followed more aggressive than the last that Aegon was at the door. “I do not wish to see you right now Uncle.” You whisper shouted, aware that if someone heard you refuse his entrance they’d likely try and send you to the dungeons. “I dont give two shits.” Aegon slurred, slamming on the door frame, the wooden piece rattling in its hinges. You muttered a variety of unladylike words in your head when you observed your sheer nightgown. Nipples slightly pebbling through the fabric. You were in no way ready to receive visitors. Especially not when you knew Aegon was already in a foul mood.

You opened the door wearily. Aegon barged in, his blond hair was ruffled, signalling his feverishness. “I saw you staring at him.” He barked suddenly, you jolted backwards, surprised but not shocked at his incapability to process your own feelings of anger and humiliation instead jumping to what was bothering himself. “What do you mean?” You said softly, careful with your words. “Dont play the fool.” He scoffed running a hand through his silvery blonde hair. Scrutinising you, as if he could see the cogs in your little brain whirring, desperately trying to process his accusations. Whilst you thought Aegon stared. Taking in your skantily clad figure, the sheer nightgown he had bought for you.

Wearing it still evoked a pang of guilt in your chest, knowing you were betraying your immediate family by having such relations with Aegon. Your mother would not know what to say if or rather when she figured out her sweet girl, her only daughter was involved with her younger brother, the epitome of unruliness and cruelty. Naturally it was futile to wish for approval you would never get from her, yet you knew the conversation at some point must occur. Especially since it had been many moons since Aegon had started visiting your bedchambers with a promise to make you a mother, a wife and a queen. A queen. The title promised to your mother.

You didnt bother mentioning that you had no interest in your other Uncle. You were devoted to Aegon and Aegon alone, but you knew he would not hear it. You had been looking at Aemond, an atrocity he would not let go unpunished. Even if you had only been staring because the conversation of your Brothers legitimacy had you on edge. You were waiting for him to target you next, worried for what would happen if Aegon was in the room if Aemond ridiculed you. Would he even defend your honour? Or would he leave you to wallow in the shame of your mothers infidelity.

“Were you waiting for Aemond?” Aegon whispered his voice husky and deep with rage. “Maybe he’s on his way now, ready to spill himself deep into the womb of his spoiled whore of a niece.” You flinched at his degradation. “Aemond is a devoted husband to Helaena.” You whimpered voice meeker than you wished it to be. The blood of the dragon ran through your veins, yet your own fire was stifled by the terrifying glint in Aegon’s eyes. He stalked towards you, expression stony and serious. More serious than you ever saw him.

“He called my brothers bastards.” You snapped, trying desperately to change the conversation and avoid his wrath. “Strong boys he called them and you sat there drank your wine and laughed.”

“Him or me.” He said simply, ignoring you trying to shift his attention, his tone sent shivers down your spine.

If you were a smart girl and Aemond was unmarried you would have chosen him. He was infinitely kinder compared to Aegon even if he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. But you weren’t a smart girl, and Aegon was not a smart man. He should have bed and married his sister, Heleana regardless of his own wants and needs.

“You.” is what you would have said, had Aegon’s hand not whipped upwards to tighten around your neck, warm and strong and unrelenting. “Him or me.” He repeated his eyes the deepest purple, bordering on black, with lust or anger you could not say. He leant in, mouth pressed agaisnt your ear. “You are not his to take.” He growled. “You are mine to fuck, to seed, to marry, do you understand my darling niece? For as long as I am alive you will remain mine.” He released you when you began to claw at his wrists with desperation for air. Your vision was blurring, tiny pinpricks of black surrounded your Uncle. Tears welled in your eyes, a stinging sensation building in your nose. Aegon released his grip. “Get on the bed.”

You wanted to claw your hair out, to scream, to cry, to beg for him not to punish you for something he had invented of his own accord. But you didn’t. You got on the bed as Aegon began to unbuckle his belt. He gave you a stern look and begrudgingly you moved into the position he wanted you in, arse up ready for his punishment. Maybe he’d fuck your arsehole until it bled, make it impossible for you to leave your room the next day, or would he spank you red raw until you couldn’t sit down because of the pressure on the blue-black bruises he’d given you. You knew he was thinking about which way he wanted to take his anger out on you.

The bed dipped with Aegon’s weight. He grabbed your hips roughly pulling you against his clothed stomach, you were arched like a stretching cat, the way he loved to take you. He administered one searing slap against your left arse cheek with his belt, you convulsed in his arms at the impact wanting to cry alloud at the pain of one strike. “I know it hurts.” He whispered directly into your ear, his warm breath tickling your earlobe and sending a flush of addictive pleasure between your legs. “But when you behave like a whore you get treated like one.” You couldn’t stop the growl that escaped your lips. Aegon let out a burst of laughter, delighted at your anger, sorrow and neediness.

“Do you not like that name my sweet?” He condescended. “No I think you like it very much.” He ran a hand down your raised thigh, the further down he traced the closer he got to your aching centre. You closed your legs, trying to hide your wetness from him. In response Aegon grabbed a fistful of your hair and wrenched your head back so far you were sure your scalp would be bleeding. “Listen to me.” He pried your legs open with the hand opposite to the one abusing your hair. “I am going to ruin your cunt. I am going to use you to make myself cum and then when your so swollen and desperate from all the orgasms I deny you I will shove my cock back in and push my cum deep inside you.” He leaned in closer. “You come before I tell you its alright then you will be punished, you fail to satisfy me and you will be punished.” With that you felt his blunt head push against your hole. Aegon was collecting your slick before slamming his hips into yours.

“Your pulsing.” He grunted. “Your pussy is trying to push me out.” You didn’t doubt him one bit, the lack of preparation had you engulfed in an excruciating stretch as Aegon pounded you with no restraint all you could do was grasp desperately at the furs on your bed and gurgle as Aegon had his way with you. He clapped a hand over your mouth as a means to quiet you down. But you couldn’t help the sounds escaping your mouth when he changed positions, pounding the spot inside you that always made you crumble around him. “Do not cum.” He growled, you mewled. It wasn’t possible. “I can’t hold it Aegon.” You gasped. “You must.” He replied curtly. He continued to brutally thrust into you. You could feel him pulsing as well, his cock twitching inside you as he continued to fuck you desperately. He was close, but so were you.

You tried to think of anything but the approach of your orgasm, wiggling in your gut like an unwanted worm. You thought of how Aegon demanded respect when he fucked you. You wondered when you saw how he interacted with Alicent if when he was with you that was the only time he was ever in control of his life. You thought about how your mother would be queen. How no matter how often Aegon said he’d make you his queen he didn’t wish to be king even a little bit.

It distracted you for a bit before Aegon began to vocalise his pleasure, grunting and groaning in your ear as if he knew how much it would turn you on. “Dont cum inside please.” You whispered. Aegon flipped you over, legs over his shoulders. “Oh I’m coming inside.” He smirked at whatever expression of horror you must have plastered on your face. “Lets hope it takes and my babe grows in your pretty girl womb.” You let out a gasp of irritation as he slowed his thrusts, the burst of pleasure you had been feeling in the moment dissipating with the loss of his deep thrusting. “You want to come for me?” Aegon asked. You nodded your head vigorously. “Then say that you belong to me. That no one fucks your cunt as well as I do. That you want no one other than Aegon Targaryen.”

“I belong to you.” Aegon resumed his thrusting, growing more frantic and sloppy as he neared his release, you keened. “No one fucks my cunt as well as you do.” If anyone walked past usually you would be mortified, sounding like a commonplace whore. Yet you could care less, having gone dumb on his cock the minute his tip met your entrance. “I want no one other than Aegon Targaryen.” You gasped as your orgasm overtook you the minute you finished saying what he had asked of you. It hit you hard and intense from Aegon’s edging. He growled as he felt you tighten impossibly around him.

Aegon cursed as he came, spilling himself deep into you regardless of what you asked. Terror spiked in your gut. “What if I have a child Aegon.” For a second you were expecting him to shut you down. To say something along the lines of “I already father a dozen bastards whats one more going to do.” Instead he pressed a kiss to your temple, “I dont think anyone would bat an eye if you and I were to wed.” You gasped, stiffening beneath him. “Are you asking me to marry you?” You whispered, barely believing what you were hearing. “I would like nothing more. If you will have me.” You felt tears prick in your eyes, guiding him back to your entrance as you pressed a deep kiss against his lips.

You always forgave him too quickly.

“If you want it to take you’ll need to cum more than once.” You whispered, tucking his hair behind his ear. Aegon grinned, pulling out and angling his hips as he prepared to fuck you again.

[dreamersdivine]

hi hi

i feel like this is a pretty simple one but can i request for some hc’s about first kisses w dtqk + punz foosh?

-♦️

Of course you can ^w^ ♡

I hope you don't mind I only did George, Foolish, sapnap, punz, cause I couldn't think of anything for the others. And it's cc cause I couldn't think of any c

Your first kiss with George would have started with an accident.

George

You meant to lean over and kiss his lips but accidentally kissed his cheek instead

This being your usual form of affection George just hummed happily as he continued to work on his video

You sigh making him look over

"Love? What's wron-"

Your lips would press against his quickly, nothing too long. Just a short sweet little kiss. And then it would be over

His brain wouldn't even be quick enough to process before you carry on with whatever task you had paused, admiring the gleeful expression take over his face

Fyi, the reason he takes so long to post this particular video is he's too busy seeking out more kisses

Sapnap

You and him would have been rough housing a bit the first time it happened

You stole his snack, or maybe it was that he stole your drink or- honestly you couldn't remember which

But sapnap had started tickling you at some point which lead to you wrestling on the couch.

"Get off of me you jerk, i didnt steal your stupid snack," you'd whine

Finally he'd wrestle you until he was hovering right above you. "Apologize,"

Both of you a bit out of breath from the laughing and rumbling.

You lean up slowly pressing your lips against his softly.

"Is that an apology enough for you?"

Sapnap would lose all brain function nodding and shaking his head at the same time

"Yes. Wait no, I need more, give me another,"

You both would have been watching tiktoks with each other

Punz

Punz's phone had died in the first hour of your bed blanket fort so you both were using yours

He would tease and call you a simp for all of the thirst edits of himself he would see on your page

Eventually you'd cycle through all the other side of tiktok you were on

Some of them Punz would judge, others he'd laugh. But one in particular caught his attention

A pick up line for asking for a kiss

"Hey,"

You looked up

"Did you kissing does- no wait if you kiss, ugh," he groaned forgetting the words after you scrolled past the video

You smiled softly

"Just forget it,"

"Punz?"

"..."

"Were you trying to ask for a kiss?"

Foolish

"I- I said forget it," he flushed embaressed

Gently you grasped his chin to face you

"You don't have to use a pickup line if you'd like a kiss-"

Your first kiss would have been an accident

Both of you had decided for stream you were going to start off with some react Andy YouTube videos

That quickly dissolved into fixing the goddamn closet door.

"I'm telling you, we should call someone,"

"We're adults it's fine, besides who am I going to call? Philza?" He'd turned his head to the side hitting yours in the process

"Ow, you- no not philza, a handy man or something I don't know. Obviously you can't fix the door,"

Taking offense to your words his head would turn towards you quickly once more "Oh yeah? I don't see you fixing it any better,"

You'd turn to face him too

Neither of you realized how close you were and of course your lips brushing over each other just slightly occurred

Unfortunately for you the chat could see everything and erupted into a million mile speed

With a shaky hand you pulled the closet door to shut as far as it could to hide you both from prying chat eyes

"You wanna try that again loverboy? I think you missed. Get closer,"

[mysticetus]

on the topic of diy hrt as ive seen it going around the dash a few times, i want to offer what i can in terms of help as i got on hrt in secret while still living with my parents. i cant give advice for paths i didnt take (getting the hrt itself online) but i can detail the process i experienced so you know what to expect if you pursue.

i highly recommend seeing if there is a planned parenthood in your area and if it offers gender affirming hormone therapy. i had a couple things that made this an option for me that may be barriers for others - i was over 18, and they do not offer informed consent to minors. i also had a job that allowed me to pay for the visit and the prescription. lastly i forced myself to learn how to drive so i could get to the planned parenthood and the pharmacy.

for cost, i recommend checking beforehand if planned parenthood accepts your insurance. They did not accept mine so i had to pay out of pocket for the appointment. Luckily they have a sliding scale system that charges based on your monthly income. The amount changes (and this may vary by region as well), so you can call them for a cost estimate. As someone going for testosterone, my visits have cost between $39 and $63 out of pocket.

For me getting HRT occurred in 2 phases: A telehealth call where they told me about the effects of HRT and then had me digitally sign an informed consent form. And then an in-person visit to my local PP office to get my blood pressure and hemoglobin (finger prick) checked. I then walked out with a T prescription.

For bloodwork, planned parenthood offers this service as well but it was a “strongly recommended but not required” option for me. I did eventually get my levels tested through PP but it cost me ~$40 because of lack of insurance. i later learned i could get my bloodwork done for free at quest diagnostics, for which PP sent in an order that automatically went into quest’s system and all i had to do was make an appointment online filed under “all other tests” … in my area quest can be found in grocery stores. I recommend looking into quest for bloodwork if your insurance would cover it.

Estrogen and progesterone are not controlled substances (often used in birth control), but testosterone is since it can be abused as a steroid. so if you are pursuing T this may present challenges - in my experience it makes it hard for me to change pharmacies without calling planned parenthood first, and you need to present ID when picking it up.

At first i swore by gel and not injectable because i was afraid of accessing needles, and i used goodrx coupons to get gel at a reasonable price. I do not recommend this as it is not sustainable, goodrx coupons are great but always changing. Unfortunately if you do diy hrt you are probably going to be doing injections. i tried for several months to get gel in a sustainable way but the only way i was able to do this was when i had insurance that would cover it (which i since lost access to).

You can get needles and syringes in bulk (100 for like $10) on amazon. Your prescription will probably include an order of needles and syringes but pharmacies are generally not awesome to get them through, because they tend to cost more and be out of stock…. for subq i use 25g 5/8” needles to INJECT, and 18g 1.5” needles to DRAW. i use 1 ml syringes with a LUER LOCK. make sure the needles and syringes have the same locking mechanism so they can connect to each other. the alternative to a luer lock is a slip tip, which you do not want.

Even though on the bottle it says INTRAMUSCULAR USE ONLY, i and many other trans people do subcutaneous as the needles are smaller and less painful. “subq” injects into the layer of fat beneath the skin and releases the hormones slower over time. I personally inject into my stomach in the area below my belly button - i pinch the fat and inject at a 90° angle. there are detailed videos on how to do a subcutaneous self injection on youtube, and here is planned parenthood's guide.

if you are scared of needles, i am too - i used to black out when i had to get a shot. i can say that subcutaneous rarely hurts and its definitely tolerable to me. i know its freaky to inject into your stomach but the fat layers there make it pretty painless. if you pinch your fat your nerves focus on the pressure your fingers are making, and as long as you hold the needle like a dart and inject quickly you barely notice it.

For questions i recommend looking on reddit. there are many subreddits dedicated to DIY hrt as well as logistical questions in the context of navigating pharmacies and doctors. And, i am always happy to offer what help i can.

[autisticlee]

I know I need to "just do things by myself" like literally everyone tells me, but I really wish I had someone I can always ask to go places with me even if it's just to one store for one quick thing.

I barely have the ability to function enough to take care of myself daily. leaving the house for any reason is basically impossible most days. I don't have the energy and ability to drive, find the thing I need at a store, interact with people, and do the checkout dance, then drive home, all while acting "normal" (or appropriate/presentably human enough) in public with the added bonus of sensory overload. for most people, going to the store is one single task. that's all it is. for me, it's hundreds of simultaneously occurring steps I need to remember to do and maintain the entire time....

it's so hard to explain this to people. no one gets it. but i need someone else to do the human-ing for me and I just follow along. they drive, answer or ask questions and let focus be on them, lead me to the thing I need, let me copy them so I dont stand out with my weirdness...so many times i'll go to a store to get a few things alone. the sensory cacophony of everything hitting me at once makes me forget what I'm looking for, tunnel vision on the offending sensory input and can't see where i'm going, can't find things even if they're in the same place they've always been, i've run into people and things, knocking stuff over, because my body disconnects from my brain and it's hard to control. if people talk to me, I can't process their words or respond. I can't ask questions if I need to. i'll wander lost for way longer than I want to be there.

this whole time, i'm trying my best to put on a mask and appear "normal" so I can blend in, but i'm struggling and it's probably obvious because idk how to act "normal" or as expected when alone. so many times I come home without one or more of the things I needed from a store even if I had a list in hand.

I completely space out and dissociate way more often than i would like. not even stores when i need to go in and out quickly, but anywhere. if I try going to a thing that's supposed to be fun, like say a festival or aquarium or anything else, and I go alone because I don't have a friend to go with, I spend the whole time in a sensory overloaded, dissociative state, while being required to perform "normal human" rituals and masking. then get home, realizing I didn't enjoy it or retain much of it because my brain was overworking and i got exhausted as soon as i got there. i didnt get to relax and enjoy any of it because it was so much work and my brain shut down while there to try protecting itself. it's a whole brain exercise that exhausts me beyond belief. this whole time. i'm trying my best to put on a mask and appear "normal" so I can blend in, but i'm struggling and it's probably actually very obvious because idk how to act "normal" when alone and don't have someone to copy and follow.

if I have someone familiar with me, especially someone comfortable who i dont have to lead or entertain, I can ground myself better and focus more on them. I follow and copy them so I dont have the try as hard to be a human and think about doing human things. it's easier to copy someone doing the things than to try to think of the hundred steps you probably forgot and perform them alone. they always answer people so fast before I even processed half the words that were said to me.

it always surprises me when people do that. they'll answer a question before I even processed it was a question! I always need someone to be there for me to answer for me because i'm too slow, they get impatient, and/or I answer incorrectly, if i'm able to speak at all being semi-speaking. at least half the time if I do get words out, they don't hear me or mishear me. for example, just yesterday, I made my mom go to a new sushi restaurant with me. the waiter apparently asked if I was ready to pay, my mom was gesturing to me ans asking if im ready or something and the waiter was looking at me, but my brain couldn't make any of it out at all. I was staring between them like ???????? and gave up and just shook my head no. my brain was trying to figure it out and process anything at all, but i got incredibly confused and completely froze up. my mom answered "not yet" and they left. I was like, what was that about ? She said "they wanted you to pay now. you're ready to go right? now we have to wait again." I didn't get any of that, and if I was alone, that would have been even worse because I wasn't able to figure out anything or even say words. I need someone with me at all times to cover my perpetually lost and confused ass lmao

but it's also a struggle when the other person is like this too, puts too much attention on me, or expects me to lead us both. it causes the same effects as if i'm alone, plus the added bonus of needing to entertain and/or advocate/answer for and lead THEM, when I can't even do it for myself! I had a friend like that and it was annoying and immediately exhausting every time we hung out.

I don't know if any of this is making sense. i'm sure at least one person's gets it, though, right? how it's hard to consciously and appropriately act human in public when alone, but copying or hiding behind another person makes it easier than thinking about it all yourself, while sensory overload! if i can I just exist along with them and the focus isn't all on me like it is when i'm alone, it's a lot easier.

acting "normal" like a human, or basically what's "appropriate" in public spaces around others takes so much brain power that most people don't have to even think about! because it's automatic for them. so they can't fathom how much i'm struggling and it's so easy for them to say "just do it/you don't need help/you don't need someone to do it with or for you/you're being lazy!" plus adding on sensory overload you can't ignore, while everyone else is able to completely tune out and ignore the horrible lighting, the squeaky cart wheels, the crying babies and screaming kids, the 50 different conversations, the loud phone ring tone a few aisles over, the annoying music playing, someone dropping a box of something, crinkling of wrappers, the cash register beeps, the air being a bit too chilly, the annoying seam on your socks, the scratchy material of your jacket, the overly bright display of products, etc. everything all at once in great intensity. people who can ignore this don't know how lucky they are. they also don't understand what it feels like. it's exhausting.

i'm like a cave gremlin seeing light and the world for the first time ever, every time I leave my room. everything is confusing and overwhelming, but because i'm human shaped, everyone expects me to have the expected human behaviors and they freak out when i dont meet those standards. they don't care how difficult it is for me and how much i'm struggling. they won't help or accommodate me. it has to be my fault I made them uncomfortable.

exposure doesn't make it any better and arguably makes it worse because more sensory overload and more need to use my brain to overthink every word and movement I do, leading to a very deep exhaustion immediately 😫

this is why functioning labels or comparing me to my "good" days/experiences sucks and shouldn't happen. I often need help/support and people expect me to ~do it myself~ and refuse to help me so I struggle and fail to exist correctly.

[cat-o-loaf]

Ok. Warning you all this is. A handful. But this is concept from my Half n Half AU. I call it half n half cause Simon is half human half ice person in this. Lol.

Half & Half AU

Created by Cat.o.loaf

AU Premise:

What if GolBetty never sent Simon’s mind through time & space, in which he spent his time in Shermys body. What if— Simon managed to put on the Crown the moment Betty zapped him? What if Fionna & Cake jumped out of the portal at the same time?

Hi. My name is Cat.o.loaf and welcome to my Ted Talk.

“…You were…Everything…”

Dazed & confused, Fionna, Cake and Simon lay there on the tetris cube as GolBetty’s eyes swirled madly. Clearly upset at what had just occurred. Coming to, Simon notices he’s starting to change. His hair getting longer and whiter, his skin changing to a bluish hue. His nose started to grow to a point!

Startled, he realizes he had put on the Crown! With a startled gasp and a quick “oh no”, he turned to GolBetty who was fuming! Her eyes glowed and started to zap Simon—-Miraculously he dodges the bolts of fury. Causing the crown to fall off, ceasing the transformation process.

This occurs at the same time Fionna & Cake start to gain awareness of their surroundings. So when they see GolBetty they are clearly shocked by her. Yelling at Simon who the heck that was. Simon explained that—That thing is betty!

Obviously Fionna & Cake are stunned upon hearing this—- but they didn't have much time to process much as Simon jumped into them after dodging an attack. Causing them to fly off the Tetris cube and into the unknown.

Leaving GolBetty in her fury and dismay and the Crown behind.

Casper and Nova

Aimlessly flying off into space Fionna & Cake and Simon are separated from each other. Going their separate ways in space itself. Leaving nothing but silence and the unknown to themselves.

After what seemed like an eternity, Simon finds himself talking to himself as if he was another person. Wondering what would've happened if he didnt of put on the Crown—-or how he shouldn't have done the ritual in the first place. He starts to self criticize himself to full blown saying he isn't worth all of this and it'd be better if he had just given up. (ref to suicide)

But then, two cosmic entities float over to Simon and listen to his self pity. Feeling bad for this human they introduce themselves as Casper n Nova telepathically. They then go into deep conversation about Simon's own self to which involves the whole Mind going through time and space journey.

Properly explaining both Simon’s and Bettys sides. After figuring out the answer a flash in Simon’s mind happens and he is awakened in Ooo along with Fionna & Cake.

Top 3 Fantasies

Now back in Ooo, the gang quickly realizes they have no place to go. Simon can't go back to the Human City–what would people think! What if someone saw him and word gets out that the Ice King is back? What if Marcy finds out……

Fionna feels back and starts to blame everything on herself, saying it's her fault that they are in this predicament. Simon disagrees and says it's his fault. They both eventually agree it's both their faults and there's nothing to do about it now. It’s what they do in the present that makes the difference.

Fionna then makes a comment saying that Simon actually looks pretty cool like this. Cake even mentions that the weird portal thing is still there and she can stick her hand through it!

Cake: How cool is that!

Simon: …erm… I’d rather not have a portal coming out of my head…

Fionna: heh but it is kinda cool.

They then wonder if they can still get back home. Cake is the first to try using her stretchy abilities. So she sticks her hand through the portal and is able to grab something from FionnaWorld. Taking the chance Cake then sticks her head into Simon's head and peaks in to see that……Everything was still the same! Nothing has changed except it was a bit colder than usual.

Excited to hear this, things started to look a bit brighter for them. Until the crushing reality sets in.

Simon is …technically a weird half version of Ice king. What

happens now?

Fionna & Cake still keep in contact with Gary & Marshal.

Simon keeps Fionna’s phone

Fionna mentions her top 3 fantasy again

During this Fionna gives Simon a makeover

Hiding

Fionna, Cake & Simon hide in the Human City under the sewers for a while. Stealing food and clothes from other humans. Simon even breaks into his own home so the trio have a place to clean up and sleep in a place with a bed for once.

Only to flee the next morning. Leaving the place a mess; which causes alarm when they left since the walls automatically opened up. Revealing the crime scene that is Simons home to everyone. Police were called and they started to inspect the place.

Word eventually gets out and well… Finn, PB & Marceline hear about it. Don’t get your hopes up they’re not a main part of this AU [maybe Finn is cause I'm shipping his mom so….]

Prismo & Scarab

I don't have much on this yet. But basically Prismo breaks out of the cube. Scarab gets sent to Ooo and faces Fionna, Cake n Simon for a final battle.

Prismo sends the Multidimensional Phone to them so they can stay in contact, Even though he can get into serious trouble with this. He’s already in trouble so he’s taking a chance.

This also helps them escape the Scarab a few times too.

Prismo sends them pickles

Second Chances

…“Made me realize my life is worthwhile……i'm afraid i'll forget that”…

Minerva & Simon meet.

Abominations!!

Fionna, Cake & Icemon fight the Scarab

“I finally have a purpose now”

Simon becomes a Helper Bot.

[ramblingsofafanatic]

Can't Believe I Forgot You

Summary: Kallus gets captured by imperials on a mission and they wipe his memory.

Word Count: 4,791

Relationships: Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios

Warnings: Memory Loss

Can also be read on AO3 here!

Note: my very good friend @5wolfdog5 had this wonderful idea and allowed me to run with it. this is the result <3

Zeb has a bad feeling as the Ghost undocks and pulls away from the station. He knew he shouldn't have let Kal talk them into splitting up, but Kal said he'd borrow a shuttle from the imperial docking bay and meet them at the rendezvous coordinates they set up before the mission in case this exact situation occurred, and Zeb trusted and believed him enough to go along with it. Last time he does that. 

They wait, listening to both rebel and imperial comm lines to see if they can hear anything. Zeb spends that time pacing, listening carefully. 

'Caught the rebel insurgent, sir, it's former ISB-021, Kallus, what do we do?' 

It sounds out over the comms around 45 minutes later, and Zeb's ears go back. Karabast.

"We need to get him," Zeb says.

"We will, but first we need to get back to base and turn in this mission's data, and then we need to make a plan" Hera says.

"But-"

"We're no good to him without a plan" Hera says again and Zeb deflates, knowing she's right. Ezra tries to argue in favour of action as well but it's futile. They head back to base.

-

"We have information on Kallus." Hera says as Zeb enters the meeting room. It's been weeks with no intel, but based on Hera's tone and body language, this doesn't seem like it's going to be the update he wanted.

"He's alive," Hera starts and most of the tension leaves his body, alive is good, alive he can work with.

"But, they've appeared to use a new device on him, his memories have been wiped and he's been reinstated in the ISB." Hera continues and Zeb takes a second to process what's being said.

"Can we get him back? His memories?" Zeb asks, hopefully.

"We can get him back, but until the medics have access to him we won't be able to know if his memories can be restored." Hera says gently.

"Okay, when do we leave?"

"Slow down, we're still working on where he is, I will update you when we have a plan" 

"Okay, can I help?" He offers, he's not usually one for intelligence work or strategy planning, but he's not bad at it and if it will help get Kal back he'll do it.

"Rest up and be ready to go when it's time." Hera says apologetically, she knows continuing to wait around with nothing to do will drive Zeb crazy, but there's no other options. Zeb leaves, heading to the makeshift gym the rebels set up. Punching something may not help find Kal but it will make him feel a bit better about being useless right now.

-

Logically Zeb knew Kallus had his mind wiped but it's still hard to be faced with the man and see no recognition in his eyes. Even worse to see the hatred that washed over the others' features as they fought - back when they first 'met' there wasn't that level of animosity on Kallus' face.

If Zeb didnt know him he'd be unrecognizable, his hairs been buzzed off and he's clean shaven. He didn't even recognize his own name, only referred to as ISB-021 now. It made rage boil through Zeb and he used it to push forward and not stop until Kal was in binders on the Ghost heading back to base.

However, Zeb's a bit lost now that it's all over. He doesn't know what to do. He was told to wait for medical to do their evaluation before trying anything with Kal, but it's so hard to have him back and right there and do nothing. He volunteers to guard Kallus, not willing to let him out of sight again anytime soon. He watches as Kal sits there, calmly staring straight ahead at the wall of the ship. Zeb longs to reach out - after a month apart it hurts having Kal this close and yet at the same time so far away.

After getting back to base and a lengthy time pacing outside the medbay waiting for the medics to finish whatever poking and prodding they deemed necessary, Kallus was released to the holding cells. Zeb watches them go and waits for the medics to come out and give him an update as they said they would when they kicked him out of the room to begin with.

They say as far as they can tell the procedure should be 100% reversible, however they don't know how. The only option they can think of right now is to wait and see. Zeb is tired of waiting and asks if there's anything to try and get things to move along faster. They say he's welcome to try and talk to Kallus about shared memories from their past, but warn him that 1) he should be careful not to reveal any sensitive information until Kallus has returned back to normal in case he escapes and gets back to the empire (duh) and 2) a reminder that Kallus isn't his Kal right now and there may be anger, confusion and some lashing out when trying to tell him about anything he's forgotten (double duh). 

Zeb listens carefully and after agreeing to let them know of any updates, he turns to make his way down to the brig to see Kal. He's stopped on the way as Ezra finds him to pass on a message from Hera - Zeb's been moved to on-planet guard duty for the time being unless an emergency calls for reassignment until Kallus is better.

Zeb makes a mental note to thank Hera later, as he continues on his path to the holding cells. It feels like its only seconds later that the current guard is nodding at him as he passes to stand in front of where Kal is.

He looks so small, sat there on the bunk with his knees pulled to his chest. He's shivering, but stubbornly refusing to use the blanket under him. Zeb longs to be able to wrap him up and carry him off to their own bunk, but that's not possible right now. 

"Hey Kal." Zeb says softly, as Kallus lifts his head slightly to peek out over his arm. 

"You're the lasat that brought me here." Kallus states, and Zeb's ears twitch at how devoid of life Kallus appears like this. His face blank and his voice even and monotone.

"I am," Zeb says, "What did medical tell you? About all this?"

"That I am actually a rebel suffering memory loss." Kallus says. 

"Do you believe them?"

"I am ISB-021, I have always and will continue to serve the Empire." Is the only reply Kallus offers. It's so hard to talk to him when he's like this, it's both Kal and Not Kal at the same time it's giving him an uncanny valley feeling. But Zeb is determined to get his Kal back and so he'll push on and hope something works. 

The conversation continues to be mostly one sided, Kallus doesn't talk unless absolutely necessary and is absolutely not believing anything Zeb tries to say. 

Zeb stops by medical after being kicked out of the brig for lights out. He tells them about Kal's reactions - well the lack of reactions - and they don't have any answers right now but promise they'll look into it.

Zeb goes back to the Ghost, he hasn't been back to their quarters on base since Kal was taken and he's not going to start now. It's filled with so many memories that it will just remind him that his Kal was taken away.

He'll have to go there eventually, the Ghost won't be staying on planet with him, they have missions to run. But until that time comes, he doesn't see the need to subject himself to that.

-

When Zeb returns the next morning Kal is pacing his cell like an animal at the zoo. It's the most lively Zeb has seen him since he was captured. When Kal turns and sees Zeb however, he stops and returns to the blank droid-like state he was in yesterday. 

"You eat?" Zeb asks, Kallus' eyes just narrow at him.

"What are your plans with me?" Kallus asks instead of answering. The blunt change in topic to avoid a question is new, but at least he's talking. The guard on duty shakes his head when Zeb looks at him - Kal hasn't eaten, as he thought. 

"I thought medical explained the plan?" Zeb says, he'll ignore the eating for now, he'll bring both their lunches in later and get him to eat then.

"The rebellion's plan, not yours."

"I told you yesterday, I'm here to get my friend back." Zeb says. Really, he wants his bondmate, but based on Kal's reaction to the idea of being friends yesterday he doesn't want to bring up that they were anything more.

Kallus scoffs and moves to sit on the bunk in the corner, pulling his legs to him before proceeding to start a staring contest with Zeb. Zeb sighs internally, Kal never makes anything easy does he.

"I brought dejarik?" Zeb says as he holds up the collapsed portable game console. Kallus remains quiet.

"What? Scared you might lose?" Zeb tries, maybe some goading will get Kal's arrogant ass moving. 

"I don't know what that is." Kal admits after a couple seconds of silence. They erased a lot more than just his rebellion years it seems, cause Zeb knows Kal was playing dejarik well before he was ISB.

"I can teach you then?" Zeb offers. "I'm your only company for however long you're here, there's no getting rid of me until your memories return." Zeb continues at Kallus' hesitation.

"Fine." Kallus says and Zeb motions for the guard to drop the shield for a second so he can enter the cell. Kal stiffens a bit when Zeb steps through quickly before the field goes back up. He moves and sits on the other side of the bed from where Kal is and silently unfolds the device before turning it on. The board casts a faint blue glow around the cell and Zeb takes a second to look at how it reflects off Kal's face - he's so close. 

Zeb shakes himself internally and forces himself to focus on teaching Kal the game. 

It doesn't take long, Kal picks it up quickly (Zeb had no doubt he would) but it doesn't seem to make him remember anything. It's fine, the chances that dejarik would free up any memories was extremely low to begin with. The medics said to be patient so Zeb will.

Kallus is silent as Zeb talks to him as they play. Zeb's telling him about some stupid stunt Ezra tried to pull as Kal was gone, and even though not one hint of recognition crosses the human's face, he is smirking slightly at this 'strangers' idiocy and Zeb will take that as a win.

Lunch rolls around and Zeb heads to the mess to grab it, they have some of the fruit Kal really likes that Zeb can never remember the name of and Zeb hopes that, even if it doesn't bring back memories, it can still make Kal smile.

He gets back to see Kal has started playing against himself. There's a slight pinch between his eyebrows in concentration and without his usual facial hair it's even more obvious that he's chewing the inside of his cheek as he thinks. 

Kal doesn't notice Zeb has returned until he hears the field's low hum stop for the two seconds it takes for Zeb to step through. Good, if he's allowing himself to be distracted like that, it means that on some subconscious level, he feels safe here. It's small but it gives Zeb a little more hope at their chances of getting his Kal back.

"The rebellion gets fresh fruit?" 

"On occasion" Zeb replies as he places Kal's tray in front of him. Kal just looks at it.

"You gotta eat eventually."

"Technically, I do not." Kallus says, but he does reach out to pick up a piece of fruit. Kal's smile (well the corner of his lip twitching up slightly for a microsecond) when he tastes the fruit is counted as another win on Zeb's behalf.

-

Their routine is largely the same for the next few weeks. Kallus was on edge for the first couple days about not being interrogated, but after seeing that the few other imperials being held here are treated the same way he relaxes a bit. 

Zeb brings something to both keep them entertained and to try and get Kal to remember something, but so far nothing has worked. Not all is lost though, even if he can't recall the memories Zeb can tell they're still there the more time they spend together. It's small things, stuff that Kal probably doesn't even notice he's doing, but Zeb notices. 

Oh, he notices. The most notable though is when Kal reaches towards his wrist to fidget with the konshari that used to be there. Kal's brief look of confusion when he catches himself doing this is adorable, but Zeb can't help but hope one of these times it will be recognition that crosses the human's face.

Zeb made him a new one almost identical to the one lost, Kal may not remember, but Zeb does. He wants to tie it back around Kal's wrist to see if that can make Kal remember, but hasn't figured out how to give it to him without revealing that they were bondmates. He needs an alternate explanation for what the konshari is in case it fails to bring back any memories. Kal is warming up to him again and he doesn't want to push him away by bringing up anything more than friendship.

"It's your turn." Kallus says, snapping Zeb out of his thoughts. Right. Cards.  They were playing some card game Ezra had taught them once and it's very obvious Kal can still count cards with ease. Zeb looks at his cards, the piles on the bed between them and then his cards again before placing one down.  He tries to focus on the game, even though he knows he’s never going to win even if he tries, but Kallus is distracting. 

The closer Kallus gets to looking like himself again, the harder it is to restrain himself. He has a nice layer of stubble on his face now and Zeb just wants to rub their cheeks together to get his scent all over it.

“Something wrong?” Kallus asks and Zeb realizes he spaced out again.

“It’s nothing, sorry, my turn again?” Zeb asks, and when Kallus nods he once again tries to focus on what he’s supposed to be doing. He tries not to squirm under Kallus’ scrutiny, and is relieved when Kallus decides not to question him further.

-

Months pass, Kallus seems to have settled into the idea that he’s stuck here. Zeb had managed to dig up a few holo’s to try and see if they'd help. There aren't many to begin with, let alone ones that weren’t of them obviously being more than friendly together. The holos don't work as intended, but they make Kal more willing to humour Zeb’s attempts to restore his memories and at this point Zeb will take any progress he can. 

Kal’s hair has grown out to the length it was when he first defected from the Empire now, and Zeb's brought him his spare set of clothes so he could change out of the ISB uniform. But, seeing Kal there sitting on the bed, hair a bit ruffled and jacket zipped up to his chin, Zeb briefly thinks that yea, he was right, having Kal look like himself again is making it harder to not treat him like his old self as well. But he manages to restrain himself.

Kallus continues to ask about what was bothering Zeb, and Zeb gave half truths. I wish you believed us (I wish you’d believe me), I wish you had your memories back (I wish you remembered me, remembered us), I wish this never happened in the first place (I failed you, I’m sorry for letting this happen to you). 

They’re playing dejarik again, it’s one of the few games they're evenly matched at. Zeb is distracted again though, which allows Kal to wipe him out with ease. 

“It’s me isn’t it?” Kal asks as Zeb’s last guy flickers off the board, and something must show on Zeb’s face because Kallus continues unprompted. “What was I to you?”

“I already told you, you were my best friend.”

“Garazeb. What was I to you?” Kallus repeats.

“If you’re asking, you already know” Zeb says as he stands, if Kal knows he probably doesn’t want Zeb around, its probably why he's bringing it up. Zeb should leave. Leave before he has to hear Kal tell him he doesn’t want to see him again, before-

“Don’t,” Kallus says and he grabs Zeb’s hand to stop him from leaving. “I may not remember but I’d like to hear more.”

Zeb sits back down and sighs.

“What was I?” 

“You are my bondmate,” Zeb says. He can’t bring himself to talk about it in the past tense like Kal does, as far as he’s concerned this is his bondmate - whether he remembers or not. 

“Bondmate?” Kallus says.

“You referred to us as 'boyfriends' once or twice, but 'partners' more often than not.” Zeb adds and it feels weird to talk about Kal like this as he's sitting right there.

“I’m sorry I don’t remember.” Kal says softly, Zeb realizes his hurt must be written all over his face and tries to reign it in.

“S’not your fault.” Zeb says. 

“It’s not yours either.” Kallus says.

“I shouldn’t have-”

“I’m sure you did everything you could.”

“It doesn’t matter now,” Zeb says. He's not looking for a fight right now, quite the opposite actually.

"Of course it matters, it's you" Kallus says, and it's something he's said before but only Zeb would remember that. 

"I did it again." Kal says, "said something to make you remember," he continues. So he's been noticing for a while then.

"Everything about you makes me remember," Zeb says with a huff.

"Yet you still come here, everyday." 

"Being without you would be worse." Zeb admits before he can think. Kallus opens his mouth to reply but is cut off by the guard reminding them lights out in 5 minutes.

"Guess I should go," Zeb says. He stands and Kal doesn't stop him from stepping away from the bed this time.

"Zeb," Kal calls out before the field is lowered. Zeb pauses and looks over his shoulder at where Kal is sitting on the bed.

"Yea?" He asks

"I may not remember, but I can see why I would love you." Kallus says softly, and it makes Zeb hurt all over again.

-

"He still doesn't remember?" Hera asks.

"No"

"Maybe you need to kiss him like in those old fairytale stories!" Ezra adds in. Zeb glares at him, Hera scolds him. Ezra shrugs it off.

"Well now that he knows, that does open more material for you to try and get him to remember." Hera says.

"Yea," Zeb says, thinking… well it doesn't hurt to ask. "Do you think command would let me take Kal to our quarters? You can post guards outside, but maybe being somewhere more familiar would make him remember something." 

"I can ask, but no guarantees," Hera says, Zeb nods before the topic is changed and they continue eating.

As promised, Hera asks, but command doesn't go for it, too much of a security risk right now. Zeb understands, he does, but at the same time he's running out of things to try and get Kallus' memory back. 

He showed Kal the rest of the holos, he told Kal every anecdote he can think of, he even took new holos of their room on base and the Ghost, he's getting desperate. Worse is, he can tell Kal is starting to feel real guilty about not being able to remember anything. Zeb is horrible at hiding his emotions, especially from Kal, so his disappointment at every failed attempt is broadcasted clearly.

"I'm sorry," Kal whispers after another failed attempt. He always apologizes after, no matter how many times Zeb reminds him it's not his fault.

He decides that maybe they should stop trying to force it. He should focus on what they have, not what they lost. Kal is right here, he's not gone. 

We're bondmates, we'll get through it.

-

It's another four months before Kal kisses him. Zeb wasn't expecting it - he never thought Kal would make a move without the return of the lost memories - but he's not complaining. 

Zeb gives him a questioning look when Kal pulls away, and realizes that Kal obviously wasn't expecting himself to do that either.

"I um- I'm sorry I-"

"You don't have to apologize for kissing me," Zeb says with an easy smile, before deciding maybe he should take this a bit more seriously.

"You don't have to try and like me you know, I won't lie and say I won't be hurt, but I'd hurt a lot more if you start forcing yourself to do things you don't want on my account."  Zeb explains, and gives himself a mental pat on the back for being such a mature adult about the situation. 

"I wanted to, it's just-" Kal cuts himself off. Zeb waits for Kal to explain in his own time. There's no rush.

"I don't want to disappoint you." Kal says, so quietly that even Zeb has a hard time hearing them. He does hear them though, and it's a load of bantha shit.

"You'll never disappoint me,"

"I can't promise that I'll get my memories back, and-"

"I don't need you to remember, I just want you to be happy, whether that includes me or not" Zeb says, and he is so getting an A+ in communication today. 

"I would like it to include you," Kal admits and Zeb grins.

"Then I'll be here until you want me gone." Zeb says and this time when Kal kisses him, he returns it with glee.

-

Hoth was a horrible choice for a rebel base, which Zeb knows is probably why it was chosen but that doesn't mean he has to like it. They've had power outages and system failures for their entire stay, the cold is not kind to their technology, and this time it's the heating system that's gone. 

Zeb wasn't supposed to be on the Ghost, he told Hera he'd return to his and Kallus' room, and even though they both knew he was lying, again, she turned the systems off in hopes it may drive him out. They're inside the hangar so he wouldn't freeze if he did stay, and so Zeb stayed. He may have gone into the room to take holos and grab things but he can't sleep in their bed knowing Kal is in the brig.

Because of this, Zeb doesn't know the heating was off until he gets a comm from Hera explaining the situation. She also pointedly states that she tried to tell Zeb in person, in his room, but he for some reason, didn't answer the door or appear to be in there. Zeb ignores all that in favour of muttering curses under his breath as he gets out of his bunk. 

He needs to get to Kal, the brig isn't known for being warm with the heating, so with no heating it must be frigid. Zeb knows Kal would be fine, this isn't the first time the heating's gone out since the rebels set up here. However, this is the first time it's gone out since Kal lost his memories and Zeb really wants to make sure he's okay.

And he is okay. He's awake and it doesn't look like he managed to fall asleep before the heating went out, but he's okay. Kal perks up when he sees Zeb approach the shield.

"I thought you went to bed." Kal says.

"Heating's gone out, wanted to check on you." Zeb replies as he gets the shield lowered and steps in.

"Oh." Kal says. He seems to still be shocked everytime Zeb shows compassion, and this time is no different.

"Scoot." Zeb says as he climbs into the bed before pulling Kal into him and draping the thin blanket over them. Should have stopped to grab some blankets from our room, he thinks, but it's too late now. Kal seems to be warming up nicely anyways.

"Why would you pick such a cold place without ensuring your heating would be foolproof." Kal asks, and Zeb laughs.

"You helped." Zeb points out, and Kal pouts a bit and frowns. Like every time before, Zeb can almost see the gears turning as Kal tries to remember the event Zeb is talking about. Zeb waits patiently, but Kal shakes his head and sighs before leaning back into Zeb. 

"At least you're warm." Kal mutters, and it's not long after that before he's fallen asleep. Zeb follows shortly after.

-

Zeb wakes slowly, the heating still hasn't kicked back on yet but the bed is nice and cozy with the two of them wrapped up like this. Zeb takes a second to appreciate it. He hasn't had Kal in his arms like this in so long, it's nice, and he doesn't know when or if he'll get this again.

The lights turn on as the morning cycle starts and Kal starts to stir. 

“If we ever move from Hoth we’re going somewhere warm.” Kallus mumbles.

“What?” Zeb asks. He never told Kal where they were. Sure he mentioned the planet was cold, and he’s sure there’s been stray snowflakes caught in his fur sometimes when he’s come to visit, but Kal should not have been able to figure it out from that. He’s smart, but there’s gotta be a limit somewhere. Zeb can’t stop himself from getting a bit hopeful that Kal remembers something. 

"Zeb?" Kal asks, waking up a bit more now. There’s an expression on his face that Zeb can’t place, but it doesn’t help his attempts to squash his hopes. 

"Yea?" Zeb’s heart is racing now. Zeb watches as Kal’s face flits through a series of minute expressions before his eyes slip close as Kallus whispers his name and leans in. Kal hasn't kissed him since that first time when he didn't seem to realize he was doing it until he did. Now though, this seems all very intentional. Kallus is kissing him the same way he used to after Zeb had been on a mission for a bit longer than necessary or when one of them had a close call. Zeb gets a bit lost in it before he realizes Kal is muttering something against his lips.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I can't believe I forgot you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I got caught like that, I didn't know they could do that, I'm sorry,"

"Hey hey, you remember?" Zeb asks, sitting up and in turn bringing Kal up with him. 

"Yes, I'm sorry I ever forgot. How did you even stand to be near me at the start like that? I'm -" Zeb cuts him off by pressing their cheeks together and rubbing, letting out a small purr at finally being able to scent him without the fear of it scaring him away.

"Doesn't matter anymore, you remember now, and you better remember next time you try and run off on your own like that again." Zeb says.

"Of course." 

"What jogged your memory?" Zeb asks as he moves them to settle back down after he notices Kal’s arms getting little bumps on them. Kal called them something once, but Zeb can't remember, he only remembers that it meant Kal was cold.

"I don't know, maybe falling asleep next to you in the cold? Worked before"

"You mean like that ice moon over Geonosis?" Zeb can't think of any other time, but that time wasn't really making Kal remember anything, just telling him to ask questions.

"Bahryn, yea, reminded me who I am as a person" Kal explains as he rests his head against Zeb's chest.

"Well if I knew that would work I would have turned the heating off months ago." Zeb says. 

"I'm sorry you went through all that." Kal says again, his voice soft.

"Not your fault, 'S the Empire's." Zeb says.

"Shouldn't we tell someone that my memories returned?" Kal asks after a couple minutes. 

"Not yet." Zeb says as he squeezes Kal a bit closer. Kal hums and settles in.

[ancientskewers]

Is there a reason cinnamon is the only scav that cares about arti? Or were they like: hmmm yes I shall befriend the demon that wiped out 80% of the population.

Well here's my theory that I came up with in the shower.

(oh boy here we go)

Cinnamon was getting back to their shelter as the cycle was 5 ticks away from ending, it noticed a red slugcat running away from scavs with their pups, one got skewered and the other drowned. Just another day cinnamon thought, but a few cycles later it saw the corpses of those scavs. And cinnamon realized the carnage to come. Cinnamon found themself withing LTTMs structure where it lied and waited for the next few cycles. Eventually they came back and found what had happened.

The reason cinnamon is the only one that cares about arti is because they are the only scav that knows what happened. To the other scabs arti was a sadist who attacked without reason. But cinnamon knows. He knows everything that occured.

So is my goofy little theory correct or did I just throw one of the most insane ideas at you at 1000 mph that your gonna make it canon?

holy moly you guys are really interested in cinnamons lore huh

you are somewhat caught up lol probably majority actually

they were one of the scavengers of the toll patrol that arti ran away from with her pups . while the others chased them down , he was the only one that didnt want to engage . he was only expecting the scavengers to atleast scare them off , but seeing one them impale an infant without a clear conscience was something that hasnt left his mind since

he couldnt process what he saw , like at all . cinnamon was somewhat , different than most scavengers . he liked pearls , but not as much to kill somebody for it . if somebody were to steal one , he'd probably chase them down until to give it back ; not necessarily have the gut to kill somebody for it .

cinnamon tried to isolate themselves from tolls after a few cycles since the ideal of a child getting killed was not a very pleasant thing to remember--- especially since slugpups are not like most creatures or animals . once you lose them , theyre gone for GOOD .

cinnamon met arti again after witnessing his tribe get killed , and they were the only ones that got away . he remembered that slugcat--- the color , the eyes , the appearance in general . he knew what was coming . the scavengers bit first , and artificer was coming to bite back harder . cinnamon was loyal , very faithful and trust worthy even to the elites .

theyve met the third time during the battle of the chieftain , as it made their call for other scavengers to sabotage arti during the battle . he knew he stood no chance towards the beast and so he backed down too . shes nobody to mess with , especially with the obvious wrath in her eyes . he was there when she killed their king--- and he was there when they saw her slaughter his kind once more

arti noticed him for a while , and he recognized them from the first time theyve met at the toll--- she couldve killed him there , yet something stopped her from doing so.

cinnamon understood , as actions spoke louder than words . arti is somebody who was struggling . he saw the anguish , and sadness through her eyes . cinnamon couldnt forgive her for what shes done , but he wanted to show that he cared . he understood her frustration and hate , and he couldnt bare to just keep her living with the same anguish . which is why cinnamon is so loyal to her , he wants her to recover as much as she can so atleast she has some hope that somebodys actually there--- even though sometimes she wants him dead

[atherix]

Hello! I had a question about Grians avian tendencies! I've noticed throughout the work he seems to be a pretty grounded birdy, and I was curious if there was a reason? I know he flies a few times here or there but overall it seems like he doesn't have a drive or need to fly. I suppose I'm curious if there is a lore reason he's seemed to drop what one would call "normal" avian tendencies. Thank you and I absolutely love your work! Favorite fic by far <3<3

~🐷🪅

Hi! I'm answering from a line in Disney world rn so apologies for the brevity/delay <3

So Avians in the Midnight Alley were very grounded as a species, with limited chances to actually fly. They lived in a cavern with high ceilings, yes, but the powers that be (ie their, uh, leaders) didnt actually want them anywhere near the ceiling, so they wouldn't see the.... secrets being held there/ruin the illusion of a night sky. As such Grian is very used to walking, only flying to speed up the process- flying to actually get somewhere just doesn't.... occur to him, since most of his life has been on the ground. Before leaving the Alley, the longest time he'd flown at one time was when he and Pearl would sneak out and fly through the caves around the Alley when everyone else was asleep. There's also ofc the thing where for a good chunk of Midnight, spanning months in-story, his wings were clipped and he was completely grounded....

Other than his stunted flying instinct, Grian will have plenty of birdie instincts coming up later, he just hasn't had a reason to tune in yet :3

Thank you so much!!! I'm so glad you're enjoying it <3 I'm looking forward to getting home and working on the next chapters!

[fanartalchemist]

Something old, something new. I decided to draw flippy from a really, gruesome cartoon called happy tree friends, as a murder drone robot. (flippy is from a show i wouldnt recemend watching if you are sensitive to gore and blood. Viewer discretion for that scource is advised) art and story below:

In the MD universe, these robots live on a planet named planet M0ND02019. these groups of robots were tested upon for the posibility if robots can regenerate after damage beyound repair, which involves the absolute solver program. the drones there were prototypes , that was sadly canceled due to the issue with the program and its dangerous properties. this project, and the planet itself was abandoned by the humans, giving the drones freedom since they wernt shut doun property. this population of drones are not very good at self-preserverance, because they die almost every single day. that wasnt mutch of a problem, since after a day or two, they come back to life without memories of their demise, and the events that occured. since they were prototypes, some drones are unable to grow back some of their parts after regeneration from their self destruction. to list a few, handy doesnt have hands (ironically), mole's visual processors never work, russel not only has part of their visor not working, but cant regenerate both their legs anymore (they always have a fresh pair of prosthetic feet luckily), sniffles needs perscription, especially in his gas mask, so he can see, and mime is unable to speak. some even have scars at some point.

theres one perculiar drone that stands out from the rest: flippy. most drones dont remember the events that occur after regeneration, but flippy remembers one specific event: a war he had with a rogue drone that turned into a dissasembly drone. serial designation T plotted to murder all drones, but Flippy and his team went to stop him. this didnt go well, since flippy ended up accidentally backfired his whole mission (harming his teammates in the process), and T was able to make sure his team was destroyed for good. this traumatic event caused Flippy's solver to activate, acting as a self-defense mode that he is unable to controll. his alter ego programing was able to kill T, and using what he did with his teammates to make sure he is gone for good. this is how his alter ego, Fliqpy, was brought into existence.

because of this programing, he becomes a deadly weapon that activates when the robot equivilant to PDSD kicks in. If there is a sound, smell, or anything that reminds hom of that war, the program activates, and he will have a thirst for oil from evryone in its sights. these episodes end with regret and guilt when he snaps ot of his programing. makes you feel a bit sory for him, dosnt it?