#They both like avoiding issues teehee
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In the weapons of hamato au will the Raph's have a moment like the song "Here comes a thought" from Steven Universe where Rise Raph help 2012 Raph with his temper?
Possibly…
Might have more punching tho, cause that's the raph way--
Ah, emotional repression and outlets.
#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#crossover#tmnt crossover#tmnt 2012#vinny asks#asks#woh#woh au#weapons of hamato au#weapons of hamato#They both like avoiding issues teehee#wait a minute
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the real question is dpdr or did . and who
giving your favorite character a dissociative disorder is free and easy
#wickin is already SO dissociative hes heavily dpdr coded#the only problem is he also has like Visceral violent flashbacks that are intensely self destructive that dont really line up with perpetua#disconnect from reality#so probably not my boy. though he is heavily dissociative. also i think giving him did at least in the way i experience it wouldnt be#consistent with the storyline ive given him and the way ive played him#hmm... maybe he has alter-ish states of self going on#he would love ifs therapy i think#might consider less traditional did alters and more fucky stages of self#my god. do i need to make a projection fic about wickin doing ifs therapy#i might. sob#ember however... gripping her. get dpdred girl. this is about to fundamentally alter the way i play her#im thinking like Intense complex ptsd bordering a bit on bpd type symptoms for her anyways. her horrible nasty codependent relationship#with dante already has some fucky attachment undertones#idk. i dont htink i have bpd at all but some of my cptsd symptoms can look very similar. i think it would#very easily be misdiagnosed by a psychiatrist. its definitely not what i have. but the unstable sense of self combo whammy#from did and cptsd is a hellfuck that can make my relationships and self worth go out the window from time to time#its different but similar. idk thats a whole different topic for private reflection#anyways. i dont think ember is bpd shes too avoidant like me#but she has some nasty identity issues i think and they manifest in her both desperate need for close relationships and fear of them#and i also dont think shes felt anything since 15 years old#breaking out of that fog due to events of canon is going to fuck her up#processing your own issues through your characters is free#so teehee#here i goooo
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Mouthwashing and fandom discourse as a whole.
So I recently explored the tag for Mouthwashing after watching two no-commentary lets plays of the entire game. I'm seeing a lot of posts pointing out how annoying it is that this game has a fandom and that this fandom is doing fandom things and stanning/"uwu-ing" characters from this incredibly nuanced, raw and not-fandom friendly piece of art. To paraphrase someone I just saw "you don't want mouthwashing; you want Among Us ocs but darker". And
for a moment I wanna talk a bit about how I absolutely agree with this statement while also talk for a moment about how and why fandom and catharsis fan fics exist and shouldn't be shamed inherently. Or, I guess, not in theory.
The "come on! Stop trying to make everything shippable/cutsey/memey/have a happy AU and face unpleasant emotions someone's trying to tell you about!" is SUCH a vibe with me. I felt this way in the 9 fandom a lot as a kid and that was just 9. Mouthwashing is like 9 on bathsalts emotions and theme-wise. It's a game where you play as both the flawed but caring captain of a doomed ship who's life becomes a Johnny Got His Gun-nightmare, and also a deplorable, hateful piece of garbage who got himself and his friend in that nightmare situation to begin with. Both characters, moreso Jimmy but Curly too, are the causes of their own misery. They're complex dealing with one of the two committing SA and doing nothing really about it/dodging the responsibility and humanity needed to support the victim whom they've wronged.
I fully admit it's groan-inducing seeing people be shipped up Anya with anyone on the ship considering what happens to her. On a pure pr level I think it would be illegal even since romance between coworkers in a workplace is considered conflict of interest/harassment as it so often is. (NOT that what Jimmy did to Anya is 'romance'. I'm talking about the shipping of Anya with the other three guys. I know there's people out there who do ship Jimmy/Anya; you don't have to tell or show me I believe you and also I already hate it.) It's ALSO groan inducing to see people ship Curly and Jimmy considering all Jimmy does to him- and just the fact that this incredibly tragic, toxic one-way-gone array friendship is reduced to "toxic yaoi teehee". It's annoying AT BEST.
I get the hostility towards fandom-tastic stanning and fandom behavior in general...the issue is it's still hostility and I wish some of you guys got that.
Like it or not (you don't have to like it) fandom culture is inevitable to some degree. You can and should complain about your hangups but that's all you can do besides avoiding tags and just not engaging with that side of the fandom at some point. Save your call-outs and rage for when you see active deplorable bs being committed that people are excusing for dumb fandom reasons, like lolicon, hatespeech or harassment. I'm sorry but you can not actively go after and try and take down the innocent people involved in your trigger that aren't directly hurting you by liking the thing that triggers you; ie. people who get all shipping and fandom-brained about Mouthwashing's characters which you find offensive to do at all.
This type of convo is the crux of most 'antifandom' v profandom discourse in general; for Antis I think there ought to be a difference between the people that set you off bcuz of fandom nonsense vs sociopathic 'got mine'-creepiness. There's a difference between someone who draws r34 v Shadbase. For profandom types you out to face the fact that yes- maybe NOT EVERYTHING is meant to be shippable/memed. Maybe try practicing that a bit. Yeah it's mostly harmless and makes you feel happy, but considering how people outside of your hyperfixation-of-a-hyperfixation is a thing. Asking to care or think about others once in awhile is not an attack on you as a person, believe it or not. The thing about the "don't like, don't read" argument is it goes both ways. If you're truly a "good fan" like you say you are than you have to realize that people will not like your problematicisms. Learn to interact with characters and stories without the possibility of shipping sometimes- or at least understand that that's the crux of what makes a story like Mouthwashing engaging, even if you also partake in the fandumb and AUs on the side. You can call Curly your babygirl and ship him or make him happy all you want but PLEASE acoknowledge that the game doesn't woobify him or excuse what he did to Anya as well. You can make some kind of AU scenario where Jimmy gets out somehow and becomes/is a slightly better person for all I care...so long as you PLEASE remember that he is canonically a r@pist and awful. Also, even if I'm okay with your fan decisions, note that myself and others are still going to be critical and be upset that you wrote it at all because of what kind of character Jimmy is. 'Critical' =/= declaring something evil.
Fandom behaviors are not souly a destructive parasocial outcome of brainrot; they're also a natural reaction to what happens canonically and the emotions you have to experiencing a story. It's normal and rational to sympathize and love Curly and despise and hate Jimmy. You can love/like/enjoy a problematic-to-DEEPLY DISTURBED-character based on their complexity in canon. They are fiction. They are not real. The reason you are so invested with them is because of that complexity and yes because they are fiction they are your 'toy' and you can doll them up in any kind of speculative AU crap you make. That's fanfiction, baby. Make yourself a fixit fic if you really want
BUT-
remember: it stays as a fixit fic. DO NOT cross the streams, or insist that your active misreading of the text is the same as the text itself. EVER. You should care about your special interest's escapism as a means of self-care. What you shouldn't do is demand that EVERYONE ELSE LOVE your coping mechanism and that any complaints by people on their own terms on their own blogs is #badfaith or an inherent attack against you. It isn't. You'll know when it is an attack against you and that's when you, the profandom-type, need to be prepared and save your call-out posts and blocklist for.
To me that's the fragility to fandom debates and fandom as a whole. You can not/should not police or control an entire group of people and how they perceive or interact with media. That's not fair and it's definitely not sporting or decent of you in a community. You have to share your community -your fandom- with people who hate ur fav and people who love your least fav. Agreeing to disagree means not tagging your nOTP as their shipname or by tagging your shipname loud and clear. It means filtering out posts with those topics but enjoying and/or reblogging the fandom takes you do share with your fellow fandom-mite that obviously posts abt those topics.
When schmit REALLY goes down and some assface reviewer/fan/SOMETHING is being an assface or doing something amoral under the guise of fandom-ing, that's where you out to put your foot down. Callouts and complaints are for people who did an egregious thing and refuse to take responsibility(lol) for it. They're not for "soandso likes the thing that triggers me, kill them"/"so and so is hating on the thing I'm kinning because it triggers them, kill them". Be an adult.
Your DNI lists should consist of "lolicon defenders" not "proshippers", as those ARE NOT one in the same. Same goes the other way around. List off "bigots, purity culture bs", not "antis and critics". These positions ARE NOT interchangeable. If you make them interchangeable than you're making things a lot harder for yourself.
-sincerely, a message from autistic ADHD/OCD woman who likes horror and media analysis as much as she loves popcorn fanfic schlock.
We don't all have to be friends and buddybuds. I just hate us hurting each other over being different kind of fandom-folk rather than for when someone sincerely mucks up and does something bad. Can't we all stick to our guns and just boycott Harry Potter like god intended?
#franki's features#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#wrong organ#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#proshipping#anti anti#fandom discourse#shipping discourse#fandom problems#shipcourse#fandom wank
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why choose to do two parts of a chapter instead of just two separate ones? like doing 10.1 and 10.2 instead of just having 10.2 be chapter 11 instead (sorry if that makes no sense)
i think what anon meant was why didnt you make 10.2 a separate chapter thematically or literature-ally (? lol) instead of just physically? so like... 9.1 could have been called 'are we going somewhere?' and finished with that gorge cliffhanger of mike saying he's gonna teach will to drive. and then chapter 9 part 2 could actually have been chapter 10 both physically and from a literary point of view - if this was a published book, it would have been the actual next chapter. so 9.2 would instead become Chapter 10: I've Got You Baby (or some other title based on lyrics etc)
basically, once you realised the word count was taking you too far, they're wondering why you didn't split the events of the fic into more chapters than you originally have planned. perhaps is there a reason you are attached to a certain amount of chapters? otherwise, i think it would have still made sense for the drive date chapter and the bonfire night chapter to be split into two chaps each - many pro writers split chapters this way even when scenes in a single event are occurring.
of course its the writers' discretion to split chapters where they feel it fits, but i agree with anon that the ending of each half chapter makes a lot of sense as the ending of an actual chapter thematically!
i hope this makes sense haha
hello!! yes what you’re saying makes sense, and we appreciate the perspective!!
i think we did it the way we did for two main reasons — one, this is not a published book, so i do feel like it’s a little bit different since we have the liberty of doing whatever we want rather than being bound to any traditional rules. the second is that the chapters alternate povs, and it was important for all of 9 to be in will’s pov and all of 10 to be in mike’s pov because they’re the realization chapters.
to that point, i don’t agree with the notion that the ending of each half chapter is what makes sense as the thematic ending of the chapter. the themes of chapters 9 and 10 are Realizations. the point of ch09 is literally to get will to his realization — are we going somewhere? is a double meaning because they’re physically going somewhere and emotionally going somewhere. so while the mustang was a big focus in ch09, it was used as a vehicle (teehee) to give will the last push he needed to admit to himself how he feels. mike’s vulnerability in part i resolved a lot of will’s longstanding issues with mike, and the driving lesson’s purpose was to show how much they trust each other: mike trusts will with his car, and will trusts mike to be there for him, and mike being there for him is Truly the One Thing that will wasn’t sure about until ch09. all of these things needed to happen in the same chapter to contextualize that realization!
for 10, the focus is still on realizations — it’s also mike actually admitting to himself that he likes will, yes, but it’s also very much about that realization at the end that will needs to be the one to vocalize his feelings! whereas 9 spends the whole chapter justifying actions to get to the feelings realization, 10 starts with it and then spends the entire chapter trying to justify feelings he is already aware of. it was still important for these to be in the same chapter because it’s all completely connected!!
that said, because word count was really the only obstacle we had, the split chapters are two halves of a whole rather than being two distinct chapters. as we’ve said, this decision was done to benefit all of us — me and suni for writing purposes and being able to get chapters out sooner/avoid as much burn out as possible, and readers for not reading 50-60k chapters in one sitting. we already have a lot of talk about how long the chapters are, and we are both aware that we could probably cut certain scenes or events out, but we also are very adamant about maintaining a pace that feels realistic and makes sense, which usually leads to those higher word counts 😙 if we were to ever convert this into a published book (which we have no plans to), there would be a loooot to cut and we recognize that!! so shout out to the local ao3 for enabling our specific breed of insanity 🤸
#ch09#ch10#asks#acswy spoilers#the cliffhangers just happened to work out the way that they did but the chapter was never intended to stop w them#also additional note: it is a very good thing the endings of each half chapter work as the endings of a full chapter i think#bc they were uploaded as separate chapters so. it would be a bad thing imo if they did not work that way .#obviously they are Half Chapters but we wanted them to work as individual updates on purpose! or else it would just be#a weird reading experience probably. ok done hijacking thea’s tags byebye
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I was reading some of your old young justice fics on AO3 (all amazing as always omggg I want to eat your writing) and was wondering if you still ship Kon with Kaldur?
Yes, and I will NEVER get over the fact that a) the fandom was not even an IOTA as interested in Kaldur/Conner as it would've been if Kaldur had been Garth or Roy or literally any gd white dude, and b) that the SHOW did not commit to making Kaldur and Conner codependent ride-or-die besties unto the fucking apocalypse, given how their relationship first started. Kaldur should ABSOLUTELY have been more important to Conner than he was treated as being and vice fucking versa, as far as I'm concerned. Of course Conner would imprint on his first-met independent person! Of course Kaldur would feel responsible for his newborn new friend!! Of course they'd both get weird about each other!!!! OF COURSE THEY'D BOTH HAVE DADDY ISSUES!!!!!!!!
The het ships that no one even cared about were more popular in fandom than Kaldur/Conner ever was from what I saw, despite the fact that Kaldur is the first person Conner both actually sees AND physically touches--via being mind-controlled into PUNCHING HIM ACROSS A CREEPY BASEMENT LAB, and isn't that fucked UP?!--and also the one who specifically got through to him of the initial trio who met him in Cadmus, AND is a very chill and patient and serious-minded, calming presence who will actually fucking meet you where you're at, and also DESERVES someone who is a real ride-or-die full-loyalty-nonstop type to get angry on his behalf. Those two's personalities would be SO much more interesting together than "teehee bubbly alien LARPs being human to avoid her problems and drags Conner along for the ride even when he fucking SAYS he hates it!!", ffs.
( like, I like M'gann, but LORD did they handle her and Conner's . . . EVERYTHING so, so poorly, and it only ever got WORSE, from what I've heard. )
And really Kaldur just deserved so much more screentime and emotional development and like, ANY attention from fandom, imho. I wanted to write way more for them than I did, but the total lack of other fans of the ship around just sucked out all the fun and inspo.
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i think i’ll say a few more things about the whole nicholas thing and then i’ll go back to shit posting teehee:
ultimately this all could’ve been avoided had he had the foresight or the wherewithal to think “this could be interpreted in a bad way, let me not”, even if the other guys in the picture were dressed as the actors and not the guys (which is still inherently an issue), there’s a responsibility on his part to not engage
this paired with the fact that he’s advocacy has not nearly been as loud as it could be is not a good look obvi. i know he’s made a few comments and the Menendez brothers have shown no ill will to him but again, disengaging would’ve been better than what actually happened
all that being true, he’s a young guy who i think is still learning how to both be a serious actor who brings a “character” to life (i say character instead of saying Lyle bc who Nicholas portrayed at a large was not the Lyle Menendez that exists in real life) but have tact and show empathy
i do think what is the most interesting thing is his continued act of not staying anything ever, like a from a PR standpoint (which he needs a PR person BADLY) he should’ve said SOMETHING, if not an apology maybe even providing context to the photo
is twitter doing too much? yes, but who’s surprised but i understand why people are upset like he’s an easy target and makes it particularly easy to not root for — i however am rooting for him and i think he has time and space to do SOMETHING good
i personally will still be posting and engaging with content featuring or centering him because what he did was weird but imo not cancellable (which is not a real thing anyway)
#no one asked but yeah#also me posting about it like this is a fan account is sending me lmfaoooo#nicholas go get my belt bc i think you just need a ass whooping fr 😭#nicholas chavez#lavender baby
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I love being a fat woman with medical issues
Rant under cut
I’m a singing teacher, and I do audio engineering and whatnot on the side but my bread and butter is teaching. I’m a full-time freelancer, and it’s been going great, I’m very lucky to have the clientele I do and to be able to do this
Last year I fucked up my voice by teaching 6-8 hrs per day while also streaming 2-3 days per week, and that just wasn’t sustainable. But then I got mono, and that was what really brought everything to shit
My voice is not the same. I can’t do the things I used to be able to do. Some days I make it through lessons with no issue, sometimes the pain is so bad I can’t focus. I moved back in with my parents so I could take time off as needed without needing to worry about bills as much since I’m a freelancer.
The pain only happens when I’m teaching or singing. I just can’t use my voice for as long. I almost NEVER have pain waking up, or when I’m not teaching. It’s exclusively when I’ve been teaching.
I had an ENT I really liked and who was super understanding, her husband was a performer so she understood my struggles perfectly, but she left for another practice. Today the doctor I had didn’t put the camera down both nostrils (I’m like 90 percent sure she did every time), and just…told me to avoid dairy, caffeine, and greasy foods.
Not to be an elitist but…I know that. I do that already. People PAY ME to tell them to do that, I have a degree in music and I’ve been teaching for almost a decade. The assistant told him I was a music teacher, and I said I avoid those foods already, and he just said I need to watch my diet in general.
I get certain foods can make acid reflux worse, but my diet hasn’t changed, if anything it’s gotten better, and… IT ONLY HAPPENS WHEN IM USING MY VOICE. not at night, not in the morning, ONLY WHEN IM SINGING!!
I’m just sitting here in the parking lot crying, because it’s been a year since this started and I just want my voice back. I’ve worked so hard for it, it’s my entire career, I’m nothing without it.
ANYWAY WE STAY SILLY THO TEEHEE thank u for engaging with my work. This blog has been a really nice distraction with everything going on, and I appreciate you all immensely. Thank u :,)
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show me 🐞🥊👠 forrrr LAUREL AND OLIVE !! and how about 🍓 for any other street cat of ur choosing >:3
OH HELL YEA BABY SWAG!!
🐞 - What does a perfect day look like for your oc? What do they do? Who do they see?
For Laurel it would be a day where he manages to solve a complex case that also doesn't take too much sleep out of him while also being 100% happy with the results where he can go "Yes, I did something good this time" (So rarely LOL) and then go home without much issue without anyone extra trying to talk to him to sit down in front of his aquarium eating something sweet. Basically peak autism day for him where he does everything he likes and nothing that annoys or overwhelms him. An alternative is like if there is one of those aquarium conventions in the city where people all over the world bring and sell fish (Legally) and stuff for aquariums and just passes the whole day planning a new tank without, again, anyone trying to talk to him more than necessary or ever getting touched. Literally pure vibes.
Olive.... Olive just wants to rest LOL For her staying to long in one place would eventually lead her thoughts wandering into Bad Places, and going to work or tagging along Ryan and King's jobs just reminds her of her situation so that also is a no-go. I think a good day would just be one where she can try and do something pretending she is still a journalist, some low-stakes reporting while just hanging out around the city and not worrying, although the anxiety gets to her when she least expects it so U know, give or take.
They both could go to the aquarium and would have a pretty good day. Perfect date.
🥊 - Has your character ever been in a fight? Did they win? Do they fight often? Are they professionally trained or self taught? Do they enjoy fighting or only do so when necessary?
Their job usually forces them into fights from time to time and neither of them are particularly good LOL Laurel quickly resorts to firearms because that's the way he can try and take control over a situation, but Olive has been banned from using them (The first and only time she used a gun she did it so badly and in such an unsafe manner that she got hurt) so for her fights are straight up avoidance game, and if forced she would try to take advantage of the terrain to get away more than confront anyone.
They leave the fighting job to more capable people like Frederick or Tania or in Olive's case, King and his bazillion dogs or Ryan. Laurel is interesting because a lot of his relationship with Frederick is that if there was ever any issues, Laurel just waits for his friend to beat whoever is bothering them.
👠 - How does your oc dress? Are they stylish or casual? Do they keep up with trends or do their own thing? Do they prefer designer clothes or going to the thrift store? Do they have a signature item of clothing?
Teehee they dress like meee :3 But real talk, they do have a pretty similar style lol I will say Olive's prioritizes comfort while Laurel tries to look professional. Also Laurel is more used to buying his clothes from good places while currently, most of Olive's clothes have been given to her by someone else (Although she would buy if she could).
For signature Item mmmm I would say Olive's oversized jacket is important as it is the only thing she has left from Adrian, and now she uses it anytime she can. And for Laurel mmmm while I forget to add them LOL I would say is that he always has gloves on. It doesn't have to be an specific pair, if anything I think he has a bunch of them to make them fit with whatever he is wearing. He just has a bunch of gloves that he doesn't take off because if he ever was to touch something or someone and not like the texture (which is most of the time) he would cringe into non-existence and his whole day would be ruined lol.
AND FOR 🍓MMMM Like I said before I need to worldbuild whatever religion these people have (Is very similar to Christianity I just- Don't want it to be straight up Christianity U know? SDFG) but I do have some vague ideas so I will just make a lightning round of characters at the top of my brain 🍓 - Does your oc believe in anything? Are they superstitious? Religious? Atheistic? Has anything in their past made them this way?
Laurel - Atheist, he is a "I believe in science!" guy
Olive - Grew up with the religion but doesn't really believe. If anything she believes in luck over how bad hers is and if there is a god, it is out to get her Belen - Religious trauma and she will kill god with her bare hands
Frederick - The same as Laurel but actually holding religious shame.
Tania- She believes in god and practices her religion and she is normal about it
Mathew - Religious trauma and atheist. He no longer cares.
Sonia - Agnostic and normal about it
Ryan & Maria - Both grew up religious and still are but in a very casual way, only go to church if needed
King - Religious and in a very loving way because that's how his mom is. Hates the church because they mistreat people like his mom
Sebastian - Atheist and is extremely annoying about it
Mikan - Believes in god and she hates him so engages with Sebastian being annoying about it.
Raphael and really any of the Fjords- Really religious and whatever actions they take can be justified in the eyes of god... somehow.
Merida - "I am going to be the president of this country and this country has been blessed by god 💖"
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For ship bingo 2.0: Floko?

i have a lot of thoughts abt floko ! in my au theyre longtime besties and like, sorta romantic besties? the thing is that they’re both somewhat related to infinity (aka the eternal and supernatural embodiment of hope and good) in that, flower’s entire family has a seer gift and piko’s elder sister pika was a beacon (somebody that works for infinity) before her death and piko’s lil sis/niece sorta miki is also a beacon and so. it’s complicated. flower’s seer gift gives them a lot of issues, they can’t stop seeing potential futures and a loooot of them involve piko’s death. so they try to "pull away" from piko or like, not rlly get close to her? to try and avoid getting attached so that piko’s "eventual" death wont hurt as much. piko is unaware of all of this and just thinks that flower hates her
im sure they get together Eventually but like it’s rlly quite awful for a bit! teehee
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met a cute guy at buffalo exchange today! i think he was into me maybe or perhaps just really friendly. what world are we in where a guy being nice to me and asking questions about my life while (NOT) buying (MOST OF) my old clothes turns me into a crush-y mess. I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. but i’m like teehee he has my number in the work system.. what if he calls… an offense he could get reported and fired for….. i think more than anything this is a sign i need to talk to my girlfriend about where we both stand re: polyamory. because like. this was NOTTTT addressed when we officially started dating lol. and it should’ve been! so now it needs to be. i read the ethical slut recently and they talked about polyamorous people with monogamous partners, and the tldr; was basically that there needs to be an understanding on both sides that you love each other but have different needs, and that neither party should expect to change the other but instead should focus on enjoying the time shared together in the present. WITH the knowledge that everyone’s needs will need to be addressed and fulfilled later on! and i sometimes fear kayla hopes to change me. which is perhaps not the case! but either way, we need to talk. i had a dream about non-monogamy recently. tbh! my dreams have been vivid and AWFUL recently. not nightmares just legitimately bad, memorable dreams. last night was the first dream in weeks where i woke up with no recollection of whatever i’d dreamed about. my therapist is leaving her current practice, which will most likely end our sessions. i have two weeks left with her, and then i have to go back on the hunt for another therapist. which is super frustrating and really disappointing, in all honesty. and i’m trying to not brush off or push down my feelings on the matter — it really sucks! i’m absolutely dreading both finding and then starting up with a new therapist. actually i think my therapist feels a little bad too because she knows i have abandonment issues. LOL. i’m obviously not taking it personally i just AM so bummed out. but today is beautiful and i finally sold all my clothes that were sitting in the corner, minus a few more expensive pieces (by sold i mean i sold like 6 things and donated the rest. oh well! at least they’re gone) and i’ve been soaking up the sun and drinking an arnold palmer with mint tea. <- written and then drafted.
update from a few days later: my girlfriend and i had the non-monogamy talk! i feel as though it wasn’t incredibly productive but it did clear up a few things. 1) she says she’s not hoping i’ll change my mind or expecting me to convert to monogamy 2) she promised that if down the line she wasn’t okay with being with me & a potential open relationship made her uncomfortable, she would tell me. i read her cards last night and it sparked a long discussion about her not knowing how to make changes in her life and in her habits, and something about the conversation really bothered me. i think i feel like she maybe made a promise to me about her own self-work that she isn’t actively trying to keep. i sort of said that to her, too. that if she always represses her feelings and avoids her negative emotions and everything in her life she doesn’t like, she’ll end up making promises she won’t be able to keep. i’m not worried about her like i used to be when she was drinking, but i think i feel stuck when she feels stuck. and when she represses her emotions and stops thinking about things, it stresses me out. like she said she was struggling with her anxieties and her bad habits and etc etc, but that she was “working on it,” and i immediately knew that wasn’t true. so i asked how she was working on it, and the answer ended up being that she wasn’t. i feel like i’m going to get hurt here. there’s a lot i love about her but there’s a lot of emotional and mental blocks she has that frustrate me, because they make it hard for me to see a future together. i feel like this is how it must’ve been to date me last year. and i care so deeply about her and when it’s good it’s really good! but for some reason there’s a warning light in my brain all the time and i’ve never felt that before with someone in a romantic capacity, so i don’t know what it means. i don’t think it’s as black-and-white as “relationship DOOMED” but it obviously means something. and of course my feelings aren’t fact! but i see myself slipping into a guiding, mentoring role from my childhood that i don’t miss. i have an instinctive need to fix people and i need to work on ridding myself of that. but like. what do i do when it’s my girlfriend? i crave emotional stability, apparently. i think on some primal level i’m afraid of kayla. i feel it in my nerves when i’m around her, i feel it in my heart when i try and fail to open up to her. i don’t know if it’s her or if it’s me, or if it’s both or something else entirely. somewhere down the line it comes down to not feeling seen, and not being truly known, and not wanting to receive a love not founded on knowledge. it’s all so murky for me, and i’m not used to this level of turmoil in the beginning of a relationship. if only i had more time with my therapist…….
(written thursday 03.14.24)
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Read the manga, I beg of you
A long but incomplete list of things left out of/changed in the Moriarty the Patriot anime that Should Not Have Been. Spoilers but in a fairly general kind of way, tried to avoid being too specific for the most part.
1. I heard that there’s apparently some copyright issues with the James Bond storyline? So I suppose that’s a fair reason for it being trimmed way down. But still - Albert was M, running MI6, from Chapter 4. Mycroft and the MI6 plotline were introduced before Sherlock. It made the James Bond reveal have way more punch; Moran had already been established as 006, so you know to be like, “ooooh, who is 007?”
It also explains a lot of how the Moriarty gang is able to pull off large-scale schemes: they have an entire frickin’ intelligence unit who just do what Albert says without asking questions. And Moneypenny! This series doesn’t have enough ladies (literally only Ms. Hudson, Mary, and Moneypenny off the top of my head after Irene dies?!) and then they dropped a whole woman from the anime?! Rude.
2. The Baskerville arc is...extremely messed up. Definitely could see how people might want to skip it. But it does contain some serious character development, most notably:
- Fred development (a precious smol bean)
- William will go do vigilante murder sprees to defend the innocent even if it’s just tying up loose ends of a scandal they’ve already revealed, and will not actively drive The Plan forward
- William has been deliberately keeping Louis out of actively participating in his schemes, hoping to keep him somehow unblemished, the only one of them worthy of entering the new world. Louis objects. Louis is also scary AF (ya love to see it).
- First hints of Moran backstory
3. William was not on the deck being smirky when Enders died; he was still in the theatre box, staring at Sherlock.
4. Moneypenny and Moran stop a war and assasinate the queen’s cousin or uncle or something. It’s cool. Moran gets a fleshed out backstory. Also I think it’s interesting how there seems to be an understanding amongst the Moriarty gang that their secrets belong to William and he can do with them as he pleases; William tells Moneypenny Moran’s whole story and Moran just goes, “That jerk” and moves on with no drama about it. There's some good introspection from the gang on whether they’re any different than other groups that use the lives and deaths of others as tools.
Side note: Albert has such vibes of being Mycroft’s sugar baby in this arc 😂 He’s just sitting pretty in fancy rooms, hands folded gayly in his lap, smirking and going, “My husband told me I can kill whoever I feel like teehee”.
5. On the train, William compliments Lestrade on his case-solving. Lestrade blushes. Sherlock hates that.
5. An extremely important conversation between Irene and Sherlock is left out. Like, foundationally important character clarification for Sherlock, where he slips up and gets serious and admits basically his entire goal in life is to turn crime-fighting into a science, into something where status and wealth have no bearing, only fact. It highlights the ways his worldview is not opposed to William’s, and also establishes that he doesn’t do all of this just because mysteries are fun and he’s bored, but because he really does care about justice.
6. Chapter 31. Just...chapter 31.
7. A crapload of little things between Sherlock and Liam in chapters 53-55.
8. Bond/Moneypenny and (imo) Bond/Ms. Hudson are both valid ships.
And so on and so forth. If all you've seen is the anime then pleeeease go read the manga! And then come scream about it with me!! 😁
#moriarty the patriot#yuukoku no moriarty#like i know it's cliche to say the book/manga is better than the movie/show/anime#but seriously guys#the anime is more an appetizer to get you hooked#it's not the whole story!
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Uehuhe---Caldera + Toytoriya impressions/interactions maybe?
TEEHEE ok so tew make sure this doesn't become an essay I’ll just write down specific relationships worth mentioning.
Caldera and Toytoriya are like oil and water; opposites who never mix. Like most dorms, Caldera students view Toytoriya as immature and too “cutesy” for NRC. Many enjoy talking behind their fellow classmates, often saying that they deserve to be in a kindergarten more than a college. Likewise, Toytoriya students often see all Caldera students as callous and backstabbing, even if some are nicer than their own. The two dorms often don’t collide with each other (Caldera because of embarrassment and Toytoriya because of irritation), but when they do, one can always feel the tension between everyone.
Lotsie and Andreas get along surprisingly well, despite what most believe. Their ability to respect each other no matter what makes them appear more like business colleagues than enemies. Lotsie also holds a sorta “elderly” wisdom to him, which is comforting to a constantly-stressed Andreas. Whenever they meet, it usually turns into complaining about school issues from Caldera’s dorm leader. Other than him, however, Lotsie is usually friendly with everyone in his rival dorm. He does think a certain little brother of Andreas is quite foolish, to say the least.
Pat initially wanted to be in Caldera, before he realized what jerks everyone was. Mimia especially reminds him of his star days, making him avoid her like the plague. It’s not like Mimia would talk to him either, since he’s just a “fallen star”. If there’s anyone Pat had to choose to chat with, it would be Daryn. They’re both relatively quiet, strong, and keep to themselves. Not to mention, both also hold an extreme distaste for their dorms’ planning skills. However, Daryn is still Daryn, and marks whatever Pat says as possible blackmail.
Zackery and Saturn both see Caldera as something way lesser than the evil demons everyone else describes them to be– they’re just jerks! Zackery is especially pushy with this point, after Kendrick laughed in his face when he introduced himself as an evil villain. Saturn sees it as a dick move, while Zackery thinks his classmate is “a lesser demon” (and totally not just mad that the action hurt his feelings). Saturn also thinks Mimia is inappropriate, and constantly reminds him of his bully days. To put it simple, these two best friends don’t like being near any Caldera student.
Winston and Kendrick both have an ongoing rivalry, much to the chagrin to both of their dorm leaders. Kendrick thinks that idiot cowboy needs to get a reality check and see who's really in power here, while Winston– well, Winston is just mad that Kendrick is taller than him despite being the younger classmate. Either way, these two make jabs at each other almost daily. It doesn’t help that Kendrick’s magic is much more dangerous to Winston’s, making other students fear the day Winston pushes just the right button to make Kendrick lose it.
#TY FOR ANSWEITNFJFNF#twst oc#twisted wonderland oc#twisted wonderland fandorm#twisted wonderland#ask#toytoriya#caldera
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please assign songs to characters from guardians of the lamb.. i will listen to them <3
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dude i haven't read the updates in so long i bet moogil's gay ass is in the icu now. these songs are exclusively recent from my liked songs <3
songs + guardians of the lamb characters
yang hari
friction by cafune
i think some of the repeated metaphors in the song, falling asleep, running away from issues, really fit hari :)
[fold under / a deeper slumber / i left you with what didn't fit / i ran so far away from it] i feel like these lines work well with mideum as hari's way of escaping from her memories teehee
[i think we've waited long enough / i think we might be old enough / to face the things we've avoided] and this for the recent arc where my beautiful amazing gorgeous girl is confronting her past dude i need to catch up on guardians of the lamb.
lee moogil / gale
dan the dancer by mitski
i TOLD you. always a mitski song when katherine assigns songs. after going through a couple mitski songs i settled on this one bc it's about loving someone more than life itself but never letting the other person know. because moogil loves hari sooo much he's always getting beat up for her but he never tries to make her worry he's selfless about his love which is so unlike him which is why that genuine love he has for her is the bedroom dancer of the mitski song he really does love her he really does
[and when she'd ask to hold hands / he would smile and / let one of his hands go / his whole life in one hand] the titular dan the dancer of the mitski song is hanging from a cliff with both hands but willingly uses one hand for a kind but ultimately simple gesture for the one he loves. MOOGIL
[once back in his room / he'd return his waving hand / back to its cliff / he liked her more than life itself / i'm sure] once again he is self sacrificial in regards to his love for hari but its okay. happy ending please. please
ahn kangsoo
shrike by hozier
dude i've been listening to more hozier recently and this is one of them. i think i focused too hard on unrequited love (deserved tbh) and this ended up being the first one that fit! teehee
[i couldn't utter my love when it counted / ah, but i'm singing like a bird about it now / i couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted / ah, but I'm singing like a bird about it now] HE MISSED HIS DANG CHANCE WITH HARI!! good but still
[then when i met you, my virtues uncounted / all of my goodness is going with you now] also i feel like he tries sooo hard to be nice and good and the moral one of the love triangle but the truth is moogil loves her more. sorry for the slander mr kang
all of hari's friends bc i don't know the difference
#girlspkout by taeyeon & chanmina
yeah
[come on girls / this is our generation] they're girls generation
[girls speak it loud / speak it loud, speak it loud / come on, girls] you asking the hari friend mole to speak out loud who they are during that long long period of time LMFAO
evil cult people
runaway by varsity
i won't lie i couldn't actually find a song and the first verse of this mentions worship so here we go.
[idols in the air / vanish, then they disappear / how can i worship properly?] this is mideum disappearing i think.
[runaway / i don't even know your name / you're not going anywhere tonight] and this is them kidnapping hari i think.
uhhhhh mideum
seek and destroy by sza
this one is a reach cuz idk any songs about being miserable and jealous off the top of my head. she's just jealous she's not fun and beautiful and cool like hari so this is about her wanting to destroy hari. lol
[the art of war, goddamnit, i'm drained / now that i ruin everything, i cannot complain / now that I've ruined everything, i'm so fucking free] she makes attempts to take over the body or get moogil but they don't work except i guess she probs feels better. i guess
[all the pain i know / is used to fuel my soul / no control] she has no healthy coping mechanisms
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what do you think would be the cause for an argument with s4 LI post-villa?
omg firstly, LOVE THIS ASK!
Angie
She works too much. The hours are long already, and emergency services are almost universally understaffed. But Angie's always so worried about others that she rarely turns someone down if they need someone to cover their shift. MC's not saying anything to start with, because she's literally saving lives... but she wants her to be home more. She misses her. And it's going to fester a little bit. They're going to have to have an open and honest convo about this.
Bruno
Oh my sweet baby. Many things. He's going to embarrass her in his stand-up. He'll post something too personal on social media. He'll say exactly the wrong thing to exactly the wrong person at her family gathering or work event. He might get a bit better once he gets more comfortable around her friends and family, but realistically, he couldn't change even if she wanted him to. He could avoid a lot of these by just slowing down for a second. If he's willing to do that, they'll be okay. If not, he's gonna piss her off. And fast.
James
He doesn't stand up for her against his family. Don't get me wrong, James's family are lovely people. But if it came down to it, she feels like if they told him to dump her, he would. She feels like he's never on her side, and she doesn't feel like they're a team. It makes her feel very isolated, especially if she's moved for him.
Najuma
Partying too much. Her wildness is one of the reasons MC fell for her in the first place, but seriously? Every night? After a while, MC's either going to get completely worn out (from joining her) or very, very lonely (if she doesn't). Either way, it's going to be the source of a big argument.
Oliver
He's a bit naïve, and lets people take advantage of him. I can see some of his wider group of mates doing this - rides to the airport, helping move house, etc. But like, every weekend. MC is going to get pretty annoyed at it, and try and get him to say no to people. Sales calls, scammers, even door-knockers. He seems to attract them and he always has a smile and a nod for them. Especially if money's tight, it's going to be a real pressure point for MC.
Tom
He doesn't listen to her love language. He keeps showering her with gifts, and buying her things, even if she expressly tells him it's not what she wants or needs from him. He also has similar issues to James, in that he's gonna take his parents' side on something, or not stand up for her when it's really, really important. She's going to be left feeling like she's always going to come second. If he doesn't step up, start listening to what she needs, and start making her a priority, she's gone.
Will
Easy. Not opening up. He doesn't want to bring things up in case it starts an argument. He just lets things fester and simmer until it's far, far bigger of a deal than it needs to be. It gets to the point where every time he says "Can we talk?" she gets a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, because she's going to be feeling so guilty about something bothering him for weeks. It's not healthy. They both needs therapy.
Youcef
Funnily enough, I actually don't see there being any major arguments between these two. If he confesses to her, it's already established that they've got very open and honest communication. So out of all the couples, I think this is the one that will have the fewest arguments. Though, I can see him getting a little bit jealous at times. Teehee.
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"#considering constable Garek pulled a gun on Steppenwolf in the middle of an Echidnapolis court room. the high court is in shambles." you said that like we would all understand but I'm so lost. What the fuck goes on in those comics and what does this have to do with Knuckles
Teehee.
So, this is relatively early on in the Archie run, and practically in the first throes of the echidna lore in the series. There's about.. Ten? Lore-filled sub-stories in the main comic and specials, three issues of a Knuckles-specific Mini-series, then this incident takes place in issue 2 of the Knuckles the Echidna series, so we've got over 200 pages of content to condense on the fly.. No biggie. (No, seriously - there are around 525 issues in total of this comic including specials, and we're about 70 issues in. No. Biggie.)
So, Steppenwolf and Counciler Garek's dispute takes place approximately 400 years before the main events of the current comic arc.
What lead UP to Councilor Garek pulling a gun on dear Steppenwolf here is a series of Echidna politcs and drama. To start from the bottom up, many years prior, the Floating Island (not yet named Angel Island, this moniker would come in much later in the series) was lifted to the sky using the power of twelve chaos emeralds, and the help of the fire ants, to avoid a large comet that was on course to hit the city of the Echidna (Echidnapolis) directly. Yes, that's twelve chaos emeralds - this story, STH #35 "A Sense of History", was published in 1996. This was before there was any concrete lore surrounding the total number of chaos emeralds, so the comics were in the right to play it fast and loose here.
(Putting a cut here for the sanity of my dear followers, but I'm nowhere near started. Let us just hope that I do not hit word limit)
So, the island is floating, Kayla-La the great echidna scientist was able to make it float! They avoid the comet, that's great! But... Echidna society is now stuck in the sky, isolated from a once great trading system, and cut off from communications. Worse than that, they've accidentally taken Dingoes hostage in the meantime - they didn't converse with them beforehand, nor were the Dingoes on the path of convergence. But that's not important right now. How does this take us to Steppenwolf and Garek in court?! Calm down, we're getting there! Slowly, slowly... Kayla-La, see, is the great-great-great grandmother of Steppenwolf. So, in Steppenwolf's time, we've had a few decades of isolation from society, and things are really starting to reach boiling point. BUT, we have to step back a little more once again. Why are things so dire?
This is intrinsically linked to Kayla-La, and the island floating. See, brothers Edmund and Dimitri, the Great-great grandsons of Kayla-La and Jordann, are both great scientists, following in the footsteps of their family. They've dedicated much of their life to finding a way to reunite the Floating Isle with the planet once more - after all, it was never meant to be a permanent solution, and isn't it their birthright to right what has been wronged? They propose to the council of Echidnapolis the Chaos Siphon - a device which would slowly redirect the power of the chaos emeralds, gently floating the island back into the ground, and hopefully back into the crater left in Downunda, where it used to rest. The council, however, refuse the concept, not willing to put the inhabitants of the island in danger - it would be too much of a risk. This enrages Dimitri, who storms out, taking the siphon with him, pursued by his brother and half of the council. In the Chaos Chamber, Dimitri fires off the siphon, but it is accidentally set much too high. In an instant, he absorbs the full power of eleven of the twelve chaos emeralds, becoming a 'living chaos emerald' - tinged in green. A few things happen here - but to sum it up, Dimitri ends up presumed dead as the tower he had constructed using this Chaos Energy, Mt. Fate, collapses in on itself and crushes him, due to the Fire Ants stepping in and destroying the foundation. Having just escaped the wreckage, Edmund consoles Dimitri's only son, Menniker, as Edmund's own son, Steppenwolf (!!!) is relieved to see his father is alive and well.
Edmund and the Chancellor, after witnessing the death of Dimitri at the hands of Technology, mutter something about 'hubris', and decide to renounce technology. Edmund, becoming the first Echidna Guardian, had himself and the two boys travel around the city, collecting up all of the technology, preserving it under the ruins of Mt. Fate. Echidna society is split - many of them are for this renouncement of technology, but many more would not wish to give it all up. This escalates quickly - soon enough, civil war is due to break out, as a mysterious figure in the shadows is rallying up all of the Echidna who wish to keep technology in their lives, forming an underground organisation - the Dark Legion. Steppenwolf takes it upon himself to investigate, which worries his father to hear - Edmund tries to follow his son, only to get shot in the head by a Dark Legion footsoldier.
Steppenwolf finds his fathers' body, and inherets the Fire Ant stationed to guide him, Christopheles. (that's a whole other story. The Fire Ants are basically omniscent, story for another day, another anon.) Now fuelled with being 'The Guy Who Has To Sort This Out Now', and impassioned by the death of his father, Steppenwolf travels onwards, facing the Head Honcho of this Dark Legion.
This guy has PROBLEMS with Steppenwolf, PERSONAL problems.. Why ever would he- GASP.
IT WAS HIS COUSIN, MENNIKER! THE WHOLE TIME.
Menniker wants to see the end of the both of them, he wants revenge. He wants the 'guardians' to go away, it wasn't fair - he believed them to have betrayed his father, which lead to his death. Menniker has stirred up all of this trouble to get payback, and he won't stop until Steppenwolf is down.
So, HOW. DOES. THIS. RELATE. TO. GAREK. I hear you! Garek, and the rest of the council, know that the Dark Legion wants Steppenwolf dead. Councilor Garek, in a moment of haste, during a meeting in court to decide what is to be done to stop outright Civil War breaking in the streets, threaten Steppenwolf's life himself, stating plans to barter Steppenwolf's head to satiate the Dark Legion. Steppenwolf agrees that he'd give his life, causing my personal favourite panel, and having Garek step down.
And THAT is who, what, and why Councillor Garek pulled a gun on Steppenwolf.
"What does this have to do with Knuckles?!" -- This is the start of the lineage of guardians, and why they guard the emerald, of course! That's what it has to do with Knuckles.
... Wow, that was actually shorter than I thought it'd be! Well, enjoy the curse of knowledge.
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What did you think about dick being the vampire king? I thought it was ridiculous but also works so good because dick is handsome and he makes me bark like a cliche cartoon wolf
I think it's both hilarious and interesting - if it's done right. Because on the one hand, so far, we've only seen straight up murder dick, we haven't seen him be strategic or 'normal vampire' self. just, you know, mean and murdery.
not to mention, he took damian with him - so I'd like to see how he acts in the next issue/with damian before I decide if I like vampy dick or not. (I mean, obviously he murdered most of his family, which was both bad and hilarious all in one, rip tim.)
in terms of story/writing, though, it kind of came out of left field, and while I'm enjoying the series, it's reminding me hardcore why I avoid things that James Tynion writes. Like, there was no build up or clue finding or anything? it was just hmm well okay joker's dead (and all issue 6 they're acting like they've talked about thinking it was the joker the whole time and, correct me if I'm wrong, the joker wasn't mentioned once???? so why tf did they think joker was vampire king, or even bring it up???) so it's gotta be one of us! and like, they didn't even give us a panel of everyone looking at each other before dick's like lol ok it's me teehee. there was straight up no reason dick had to reveal himself right there at that moment.
and like i said, I'm curious to see how he is a) with damian, whether he turns him or keeps him a captive human and b) with a damian who hates him. because while the whole scene of him murdering everyone was objectively silly - he just wouldn't?? to me, yeah vampire dick would be violent and rabid and all that, but to protect his family, not kill them, even if they did go against him. and I guess in this ~vampire lore~ it really takes your humanity? because i mean. it's just like Ollie said with Hal - Hal claims he was still in there, but Hal would never do these things? Bloodlust etc is one thing, but like...you get turned and you're immediately like 'power or nuthin no matter who gets in the way.'? yeah, i've read enough vamp stories to know that doesn't necessarily have to be the case, and didn't need to be here.
and oh my god rip tim that poor lil doofus. one thing to kill him but good lord the curb stomp was unnecessary and so fucking funny jesus christ.
(at the same time - bitch made SURE tim was dead. like yeah he bit damian and apparently just dropped him, only broke cass's arm, and offered to turn jason/tried. but tim? talk about overkill. damn tim what did you do to him in this universe.)
but can confirm, even my ace ass was like 'oh my god murder vamp dick is the hottest creature ever created. 🤤🤤🤤'
but oh my god can we talk about how much jason cares for damian in this series. its all i want their canon brotherhood to be 😭
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