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mangoshorthand · 1 month

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Five Hargreeves Meagalist

I've realised I need to rejig my pinned post, so here we are. Hello, I write aged-up Five Hargreeves smut. Sometimes also not smut. But mostly smut. This is a compendium of my work.

Request status: Closed

One + Twoshots

Not Smut (G-M rated)

Tickle War | Five Hargreeves / GN Reader (Fluff)- Words: 1.5k

Dickhead Sugar Daddy | Five Hargreeves / GN Reader (Angst/Fluff)- Words 2.8k

Two Old Men | Five Hargreeves / GN Reader (Fluff)- Words 3.3k

No Blinking! | Five Hargreeves & 3 y/o daughter (Fluff) Words: 3k

Twelve Feet Away From the Mistletoe Part 1, Part 2 | Five Hargreeves / F Reader (Fluff, angst) Total words: 5.8k

Senseless | Five Hargreeves/ GN Reader 1.3k words, Rated T/M (Angst + steamy)

Strings Attached | Five Hargreeves / F Reader (Steamy angst)- Words: 4.8k

Smut (E rated/18+)

NSFW Alphabet | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader - Words: 2.4k

Two Items of Business | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader/ FReader- Words: 2.1k (kind of a crackfic. Not my best.)

Goddamn Darling | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader- Words: 2.1k

If Tonight Were our Last | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader- Words: 2.4k (mild smut, probably between M+E ratings)

Boy Wonder | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader- Words: 2.7k

Lucky Fucking Pillow | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader- Words: 3k

In Your Hands | Five Hargreeves / GN Reader - Words: 3.1k

The Birthday Boy | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader- Words: 3.8k

Your Desperate Man | Five Hargreeves/ GN Reader- Words 2.8k

Venus and Cupid | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader- Words 4k (inc. fluff, romance, hurt/comfort)

The Birthday Girl | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader- Words 2.8k

The Pandas and the Conservationist Part 1, Part 2 | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader - Words 11.8k.

My Kind of Deli | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader - Words 8k.

Series + Multichapter fics (best read on AO3)

Hard Feelings (E rated/18+) : 6 parts

You're Five's latest assassination target, but things don't go to plan and now he wants you as his fuckbuddy. What starts as a casual relationship soon comes to mean everything to him, but what can Five bring to a relationship? After 45 years alone, (or almost alone), how do you rebuild your understanding of partnership? Five has to listen, learn and face the future as well as his past. READ ON AO3 READ ON TUMBLR

The Neurosis of Five Hargreeves (M/E rated): 2 Parts

Covering Five's readjustment to society post season 3. This series uses prose, monologues, transcripts, and case notes to explore Five's mental health demons, delusions, and recovery from decades of apocalypse trauma.

Not canon compliant. In this household, season 4 never happened.

READ HERE

The Moth and The Spider (E Rated): Please heed tags.

Maybe it was the booze, maybe it was the fear, or maybe some sick, twisted part of him was titillated. Even looking back, he never knew. In the dark of nights years in the future, he couldn’t help linking how it turned out to this one mistake. Perhaps if he’d fought her just a little longer, it might never have turned into what it did- perhaps it would never have gone beyond that first night. In fact, it seemed likely: that’s how he knew it was all his fault really.

The Handler knows Five will be a difficult agent to control, but she also knows how to exploit his weaknesses.

READ HERE

Headcanons

Usually based on Tumblr asks:

SFW headcanons because I am capable of them y'know

Cooking

'Not like other girls' girls

Five hates himself

Five as the father of a son

S4 speculation

My dreams for Five in S4 (boy, was I disappointed)

Why Five's favourite word is "shit!"

What would Five look for in a partner?

Would Five be ok with not having kids?

A guide to flirting with Five

Five and Wordle

What did Five do in the apocalypse? (mention of masturbation- not graphic)

Five's enjoyment of murder

S/O stealing Five's jackets.

NSFW headcanons ah, safely back in my lane

NSFW alphabet

Five's relationship with the Handler (triggering content)

Five with a menstruating S/O (NSFW only because references sex)

Five + submissive pillow princess

Hargreeves brothers sharing sex tips

Five and flirtatious jokes (mild)

Mannequin banging: part 1 , part 2

Apocalypse sadwanks

Five eats pussy like a madman

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butchfalin · 10 months

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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

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loathsome-sickness · 9 months

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"people show their true colours in life threatening situations" no, they show you what they act like when they're mortally terrified, an emotion notorious for literally turning your entire brain off to the point where people who go into those situations as a profession need to be literally trained on how to not have that happen

#am i arguing with random 'philosophical' type villains in my own head?#yes #it's a favourite past time of mine i hate every one of those 'i know the true nature of humans because i did horrible things to them' types #with every part of my soul

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linipikk · 1 year

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Aziraphale shielding Crowley from water

and Crowley shielding Aziraphale from fire

#good omens #ineffable husbands #lini writes #sitting here waiting for another version of this since I like things in threes #it is past midnight and i seeing things #third eye wide open

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christadeguchi · 2 months

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"we know how to move our bodies, but i didn't know how to manage my heart, so you need help for this"

hi we need to talk more about judo gold medallist christa deguchi.

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g3othermal3scapism · 4 months

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rose tyler visiting home wearing tshirts from artists and tours that havent happened yet or tv shows that dont exist yet and everyone thinking she just has weird obscure music taste and is rly weird. its 2006 rose tyler walking down the street and everyone who glances at her shirt is thinking ‘who in the fuck is olivia rodrigo and where did this girl get a 2024 tour shirt’

#‘whos taylor swift ive never heard of her?’#‘oh just wait a couple months..’#we were robbed of rose wearing weird clothes from different time periods #she would find cute things in the past and future and the doctor would so buy them for her #shed think she was hot shit walking around london with the highest fashion of 2040 #and shed be right!#rose tyler #doctor who #tenth doctor #ninth doctor #tenrose #timepetals #rose tyler likes chappel roan

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morebird · 3 months

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Enough waiting. I crave blood.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 fanart #bg3 lae'zel #lae'zel #lae'zel of k'liir #the only thing that's been keeping me sane these past few weeks is #drawing women covered in blood

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notbecauseofvictories · 4 months

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I don't know how strictly accurate this is, but one of the things I find shocking about watching historical dramas is how many people there are around all the time---according to Madame de... (1953) a well-off French household in the Belle Epoque maintains a workforce of at least 3, and the glittering opera has staff just to open doors. According to Shogun (2024) you can expect a deep bench just to mind your household, and again, people who exist to open doors.

Could people....not open doors in the past? Were doors tricky, before the standardization of hinges? Because otherwise, the wealthy used to pay a whole bunch of people to do it for them in multiple contexts, and I find myself baffled.

#I mean..........listen.#maybe people in the past had superfluous staff just to open doors. because of reasons.#fair enough! that made their lives easier. okay cool. making things easier is what money brings you. except....#there are many parts of my life that would be so much easier with support staff! dishes. vacuuming. grocery shopping.#doors though? opening and shutting doors???#can't say that's come up as a particular concern.#I feel aggressively stupid asking this question but also. why doors. someone dial up a 19th century fella and explain.

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hansoeii · 6 months

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crowley

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kjscottwrites · 1 year

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Truly the all time funniest writer thing is when you're doing edits and you think to yourself "omg I've got the PERFeCT sentence to add right here!" and then you stick it in all excited, only to find that literally three lines down you have virtually that exact same sentence in the draft already.

#like thanks past me glad we are on the same page!#writeblr #writers on tumbr #writer things

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tadfools · 9 months

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You guys are commenting on the fics you read right? You’re at least leaving kudos on the Astarion smut and the pairs that have less than 20 fics for them too? You’re bookmarking stories you really like that are still being updated and ones that haven’t been touched in over a year right?

You know that even the smallest interactions are like cocaine to fic writers right? You understand how important a string of emoji hearts left behind on a chapter at three am is right?? Right????

You’re treating AO3 like a community and not a content factory….right?

#this isnt bg3 specific btw im seeing a lot of fandoms rotting cause of this #ao3 #archive of our own #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 #PLEASE YOU GUYS INTERACT WITH THE THINGS YOU READ #you’re not being weird or annoying!!! it doesn’t matter how old the fic is!!!#you can just say ‘I love this’ or ‘it’s three am and I haven’t slept yet cause I was reading this’#you can copy and paste a paragraph you like and add ‘!!!!!!’ after it #theories in the comments! mention when you think you’ve found foreshadowing!!!#if there’s a part where you have to physically put your phone down and smile off into the distantce? TELL THE AUTHOR #you can leave comments every chapter too!!! ITS NOT ANNOYING

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mangoshorthand · 2 years

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Five Hargreeves: Hard Feelings masterpost

PART ONE

You're Five's latest assassination target, but things don't go to plan and now he wants you as his fuckbuddy. Funny how what we want and what we need are rarely in line.

Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five- Chapter Six - Chapter Seven - Chapter Eight - Chapter Nine - Chapter Ten - Chapter Eleven - Chapter Twelve

PART TWO

As your life begins to grow around Five's, his attitude becomes a little sinister. When does protection become suffocation and when does taking matters into your own hands become betrayal?

Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five - Chapter Six - Chapter Seven - Chapter Eight - Chapter Nine - Chapter Ten - Chapter Eleven - Chapter Twelve

PART THREE

Nothing's simple when you're in a relationship with Five Hargreeves. When a destructive temporal anomaly erupts, Five is convinced another permutation of himself is to blame. Could your loyalties be tested in a way unique to him?

Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five - Chapter Six - Chapter Seven - Chapter Eight - Chapter Nine - Chapter Ten - Chapter Eleven - Chapter Twelve - Chapter Thirteen

PART FOUR

You can't avoid it any longer: Five has to meet your parents. It goes more wrong than you could possibly imagine, spiralling to bring up secrets he'd rather stay buried.

⚠️TRIGGER WARNINGS⚠️ Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five - Chapter Six - Chapter Seven - Chapter Eight - Chapter Nine - Chapter Ten - Chapter Eleven/Epilogue

PART FIVE

Despite Five's best efforts, your daughter can't do math to save her life...but she doesn't see why that should stop her from time traveling. When the mother of all teenage tantrums causes time itself to fracture, Five has to travel back to 1831 to repair the damage. But will he be able to cope with what he finds there?

Prologue - Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five - Chapter Six - Chapter Seven - Chapter Eight - Chapter Nine - Chapter Ten - Chapter Eleven - Chapter Twelve - Chapter Thirteen

PART SIX

(Because I CBA with gifs any more....)

You’ve both been busy building Five and Luther's fledgling foundation, not made any less challenging by an uptick in media attention. Meanwhile Five’s nephew Santi returns to the academy with a secret and no idea what to do with his life. A plot for revenge years in the making bubbles in the background, but one trial will dwarf the rest, one that will test Five's formidable strength and determination: your teenage daughter getting a boyfriend.

19 chapters, Only available on AO3

Too Long; Don't wanna read? How about some oneshots on my oneshot masterlist or some musings on my headcanon masterlist?

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incredubious · 3 months

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MODERN AU ACESAN !!!! first impressions with a guy who barely passes the No Shoes No Shirt No Service rule

#acesan #one piece #portgas d ace #sanji #monkey d luffy #comic #ive been meaning to make this comic for like a year Btw. and it got stunted for 6 months cuz I couldn't get past a part that was like #Slightly too ooc for my liking without fuckin up the whole thing even tho its already stupid as is ANYWAY. SOLVED IT OBVIOUSLY so yaaay #i spent so long on it and it still had mistakes. but gues what I Fucking Ball #also initially posting this on twitter was such a headache because the alt text limit is so Small so i was like ok Fuck My Life i guess #anyway. blow s a kiss to the crowd. Enjoy my insanity

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some-kind-of-creature · 2 months

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It wasn’t supposed to be a secret.

If you died while with the league, you will no longer be acknowledged to have existed, especially if you died during a mission. A disappointment will not be remembered.

The bats and birds don’t like speaking about the people they have lost, so they don’t. If someone ask about the dead, they will tell the person they don’t talk about that.

So how was Damian supposed to know that he should have told his father about his dead brother?

#dpxdc #dcxdp #danny and damian are siblings #demon twins #or #older brother Danny #a dead brother #who is not as dead as everyone was led to believe #but that's not the main focus right now #Bruce is angry at Damian for not telling him about his other son #Damian is rightfully confused #all his life the dead were not to be acknowledged #if you died you might as well have never existed at all #so Bruce has only himself to blame #(and obviously the maternal side of Damian's family tree)#especially if he dismissed Damian's questions about his parents in the past #but how did they come to know about Danny?#good question!#maybe a summoning #planned by the JL or a cult thing #or he is a new JLD member #Batfam on a road trip and they happen to stop in AP #Danny goes to college in Gotham and people who want PHDs get monitored #take your pick #there are a lot of possibilities #CreatureWrites

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sophies-junkyard · 2 months

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I’m in the South. I’ve got ears to the ground. Republicans are SWEATING at the prospect of Kamala being nominated. They’re not sure Trump can beat her.

Let’s prove them right.

#us politics #kamala harris #us news #joe biden #2024 presidential election #go vote #I want to see him in a prison jumpsuit. it’ll match his face.#I am FIRED UP #if we get off our asses and vote he’ll be a thing of the past #that alone should be motivating #I’m gonna lose followers posting stuff like this #but I need the anti voting crowd to tell me what the actual plan is #do you have a candidate in mind or are you just waiting for something better to come along #we have 3 months

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azuremist · 2 months

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The way that Pearl and Marina are NOT ONLY holding hands, but it is the CENTRAL POINT OF THE COMPOSITION and they TIGHTEN THEIR GRIP ON EACH OTHER OHHHH IM SO SICK

#HEHEJFDNDIFNSJF #pearlina #pearl houzuki #marina ida #final fest #past vs present vs future #splatoon #splatoon 3 #pearl #marina #finalfest #azure does a thing

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