#This post is long af but I had fun discussing ^^

[jellysmosh]

Better to Leave it Unsaid

Summary: You were a certified yapper, always chatting with anyone and everyone around the Smoffice. Everyone except for one person. Inspired by the song Talk Too Much by COIN.

Pairing: Spencer Agnew x GN!Reader

Tags: Fluff, mutual pining, extremely light angst if you squint

Word count: 6.1k

Note: This is a huge one! I didn't mean to make this so long, but I just kept going lol… I decided to post the whole thing rather than separate it and make y’all wait for a part 2, hehe. I take a lot of inspiration from music, if you couldn’t tell. Please enjoy~!

☆

You had always been talkative, a chatterbox, and a yapper. Your mother used to tell people that when you were a baby, you learned how to speak in full sentences before you learned how to stand on your own two feet. You couldn’t help it, you just loved to talk. It took you years to learn how to think before you speak.

You enjoyed talking to people, it genuinely made you happy to learn about others and share your thoughts. It was a form of connection, whether it was a late night heart-to-heart with your best friend or joking around with a stranger in line at the supermarket. If you could list ‘conversations’ as an interest on your resume, you absolutely would.

This trait worked to your advantage when you joined Smosh as a cast member.

“You’re so good at talking”, Ian joked with you after your first month, “you always seem to know what to say.”

“Practice makes perfect”, you grinned back as he laughed again.

You had quickly become a fan favourite, especially on Reddit Stories and as a guest on Smosh Mouth, being praised for the chemistry you had with the cast members and how you played off each other in discussions. You struggled a bit more on the games channel, you had very little video games experience and you found it difficult to remember board game rules when you played them for the first time. But the subscribers seemed to love making video compilations of everytime you forgot a rule or had to quietly ask for help mid-game.

Working at Smosh was so much fun, not just because you loved your work, but because there was such a diverse and interesting group of people you had long and frequent talks with. You had gotten to know everyone so well throughout the past few months, both cast and crew.

Well.

Everyone except for Spencer.

When you joined Smosh and met all the people working there, you had taken to Spencer in a different way than the others.

The crush you developed on him was quick and severe. You had no idea what to do with it. You were never good with romantic attraction, the few times you made the first move with a potential partner, it always ended disastrously. When it came to someone you really liked, you clammed up. Every time you were around Spencer, you panicked, and your heart sped up when he spoke to you. All the words that normally flowed out of your mouth got all tangled up in your head and stuck in your throat. Even when you two were doing your jobs and he was directing you on a game video, you responded to his directions with a silent, tight-lipped smile without making eye contact.

You did not handle cute guys well. And Spencer was cute. With his big green eyes, cheeky smile, and quick-witted humour, he was exactly your type to a T. It infuriated you, the person you wanted to have a connection with the most was so distant from you, and it was your own fault. You wanted to be close with him like everyone else, having lunch together, hanging out after work, you wanted it all. He definitely noticed how weird you were about him, because he drew back, hardly ever reaching out to you and only speaking to you when absolutely necessary. You couldn’t blame him.

The invisible wall between you guys that you had accidentally built seemed to get taller by the day, and you wished there was some way to knock it down.

☆

“Cut!”

That was a wrap on the most recent Board AF video and it was finally lunchtime. You and the other cast members hopped up from your seats as the room was filled with post-recording chatters.

“Good job, guys!” Spencer clapped his hands, “Amanda and Chanse, that was amazing teamwork. Shayne, super funny, as per usual.” He was wearing his green Smosh merch cap and a white T-shirt today. God, he looked so good.

You pretended not to notice he praised everyone else in the video besides you.

“And great banter, Y/N”, he added before turning to Alex to debrief.

Nevermind. You almost skipped out of the room from the high you got from him complimenting you.

You could really enjoy your lunch break after that. Sitting down between Angela and Amanda, you dug right in, conversing with the others at the table as you did everyday.

“I was watching the shoot just then, you know?” Angela nudged you, speaking between bites, “what’s up with you and Spence?”

You almost bit down on your tongue in surprise.

“What?” You laughed to cover the worried feeling that rose inside you, “what do you mean?”

“You know what I mean”, she spoke quietly, this was between you two. The rest of the table were not paying attention, holding their own conversation about the schedule for the rest of the week. “You, like, don’t look directly at him and you just silently do what he says. No reply, nothing.”

“I didn’t think I had to reply to every direction given”, you shot back, eyes on your food. You were dreading where this situation was heading.

“Okay, okay, no offence”, Angela lay a hand on your leg, eyebrows raised so high it made you laugh, “I have never seen you skip an opportunity to say something.” When she saw your jaw drop, she quickly added, “I’m saying this as a fellow yapper, okay? It takes one to know one. You seem to talk non-stop to anyone until it’s with Spencer, then you shut right up. Are you mad at him? Did he do something to piss you off?”

You sighed and put your fork down.

“No, Angela”, you both leaned back in your chairs, facing each other, “I’m not mad at him, he did nothing wrong.”

“Then?”

“I-”, you quickly glanced around you, checking nobody was paying attention to you two, “I don’t know. Like, I just can’t talk to him.”

“But why?” Angela had her hands out inquisitively, like this was a great mystery she had been thinking about for a long time. “How are you not able to talk to somebody? You start chattering when you hear someone enter the stall next to you in the bathroom. It’s disturbing. Nothing stops you.”

“I don’t know”, you were a lying liar. You knew damn well why you struggled to speak to him. “I just can’t!”

She eyed you suspiciously. She was squinting at you so hard, you resisted the urge to ask if she needed her glasses. This was one of the rare times you actually wanted a conversation to end as soon as possible.

“Right”, she finally conceded, a strange expression on her face, “totally. Yeah. You just don’t know.”

You nodded, smiling like nothing was bothering you. You could tell she wasn’t satisfied with your response but you were just glad she wasn’t pushing it anymore. She was very empathetic, so she could probably feel you were getting uncomfortable.

“Anyway”, she shook her head, poking you gently as she changed the topic, “what are you scheduled for tomorrow morning?”

☆

“And then I told him that I didn’t know where his wallet was and that I was sorry”, you explained, hands gesturing wildly.

“I mean, yeah”, Tommy responded while nodding, “you literally met him five minutes before, how were you meant to know?”

You were telling him a story about some guy you befriended at a bar a while ago when you heard someone clear their throat behind you. You spun around to see Spencer standing there, holding his laptop. You didn’t even hear him approaching while you were talking, how long had he been there?

“Hello”, he waved, you silently waved back and Tommy replied with his own ‘hello’. “I didn’t want to interrupt, but I need to speak to Y/N about an upcoming video. Sorry, Tommy.”

“No problem, don’t worry about it”, Tommy replied before heading back to his desk, “see you guys later.”

You wanted to yell for him to come back so you wouldn’t be alone with Spencer, but you were left with no choice but to quietly follow Spencer to the games set. He was going to quickly go through how to play a new board game you were set to play with a few of your cast mates because your schedules didn’t line up and you couldn’t be there when he taught the others.

“Okay”, he sighed, plopping down on the large grey couch. “Please sit down”, he nodded his head at the space next to him.

You carefully sat a respectable distance away from him, close enough to properly listen to him but far enough to not get you flustered. As he began to teach you the rules and show you the different cards, you tried your hardest to focus. He made it so difficult, he just looked so gorgeous. His curls were sitting just right today, one stray strand dangling down his forehead, and he was wearing that Creed shirt he always looked good in. His glasses slowly slipped down his nose when he leaned down and you bit your tongue as he adjusted them. You were trying to remember what each card did in the game, but your thoughts kept going back to how nice his voice sounded. He didn’t speak too fast and he kept the volume low since it was just you two sitting on the set, it tickled something in your brain.

“Y/N? Y/N!” His voice calling your name drew you out of your own thoughts.

A single ‘huh?’ was your clever response.

He sighed, seemingly a little frustrated.

“Did you hear anything I just said?”

“Yes”, you responded defensively, vaguely repeating some of the main points you managed to retain from when he was talking.

“Okay”, he nodded, “you did remember a few things. Sorta.”

He picked up the deck of cards and slid them back into their box as you silently watched his fingers work.

“Any questions?”

You looked up at his face to see him looking back at you with his eyebrows raised in question.

“Uh… no”, you flatly replied. You could feel your face and neck gradually get warmer the longer he looked at you.

“No? Any comments? Anything at all?”

You shook your head. Hopefully, this interaction would be ending soon before something devastating happened, like him noticing how red your face was or how clammy your hands were. You looked away and your eyes darted around the set. You didn’t like being speechless, it was an uncomfortable feeling for you.

“Y/N”, he gently pressed. You froze in place, eyes glued to the small table in front of you. “Why…”, he trailed off, not finishing his question before he stood up, “uh, nevermind. We’re done here, I guess. See you around.”

And then he was gone.

You felt relief and anxiety mix together at the bottom of your stomach. You wanted to talk to him so bad but you were so in your own head about him, about your feelings for him. In another world, where you could get over your feelings for him, you could be best friends. You could be talking all day long, asking about each other's days, how your families were going, what your weekend plans were.

Instead, right now, you were the only person in the room, left sitting alone on an empty set.

☆

“What is their problem?” Spencer grumbled, partly to himself, partly to Alex and Shayne, interrupting the conversation they were having right next to Spencer’s desk. They both turned to look down at him, borderline sulking in his chair.

“Y/N?” Shayne hit the nail on the head immediately. Spencer didn’t often talk about his strained relationship with you, but the few times he did have been with these two in particular.

“Yeah”, he lifted his glasses to rub his eyes, “I just met with them to explain the new game we’re playing tomorrow.”

“Awkward?” Alex grinned.

“So awkward”, Spencer threw his hands up, “I really don’t get it! They just refuse to say anything to be besides ‘yes’, ‘no’, and ‘huh?’”

They could tell Spencer was getting frustrated, not quite angry, moreso confused and unsure on what to do.

“It’s been months since they started”, Shayne crossed his arms, tone neutral, “have they not had a proper conversation with you even once?”

“Never”, Spencer replied, “what about you guys?”

“All the time”, Shayne replied sheepishly.

“Yeah, all the time”, Alex nodded, almost apologetically. “I talked to them this morning about Fortnite for like half an hour. They asked me to explain it to them.”

“You’re kidding me”, Spencer whined, he just could not wrap his head around why you guys just didn’t click. “I would have killed to explain Fortnite to someone for the first time.”

The other two seemed bemused by his turmoil. Spencer feared they may not be taking this seriously. It was serious. Over the past months, he had watched you grow close with other people at Smosh, chatting and bonding so naturally it was as if you had worked there for years. Whenever he saw you, you were always in the middle of a lengthy conversation with someone; you had gained a reputation around the office as an amazing listener who would be easy to talk to for hours. Spencer thought you two could get along great, he was not the most talkative, but he loved to chat and loved to listen. However, Spencer seemed to be the one person in the company that you refused to talk to.

It didn’t help that he thought you were very attractive. It drove him insane, he felt this inexplicable draw to you and yet you avoided even making eye contact with him. Did you find out about his crush on you? Were you grossed out? Was that why you avoided speaking to him? There was no way though, he hadn’t told a single person about how attracted he was to you.

“Look, man”, Shayne gained his attention again, “if it really bothers you, you have to talk to them. They can’t read your mind, they might not even realise they’re doing it.”

That made Spencer laugh, you definitely knew you were doing it.

“Yeah, what Shayne said”, Alex chimed in, “talking to them is going to be a way better approach than sitting on your ass, ripping out your hair trying to solve it.”

“Maybe”, he groaned, turning back to his computer to continue his work, “I’ll think about it.”

Alex and Shayne shared a knowing look before leaving him alone.

☆

The next time you spoke to Spencer alone, he accosted you in the break room.

You were stirring the tea you had just made when you heard footsteps behind you slowly coming to a stop.

Before you could turn around and greet whoever it was, you heard Spencer’s apprehensive voice, “Alex mentioned you were showing an interest in Fortnite.”

You almost dropped your mug, but you managed to keep a firm grip on it as you turned around to face him. You tried to say something but faltered before closing your mouth and nodding. You already knew this was going to be another failed attempt at a conversation. You might as well have run for it then and there.

“Okay, well”, he put his hands in his pockets as he continued, “we could play together sometime? Or I could arrange for us to play on the channel in the future or something.”

You blinked a few times. He was asking to play Fortnite together. You felt so excited, you wanted to chug your tea down like a beer and give him a huge kiss but you controlled your impulses. You were curious about the game because of Spencer talking about it all the time and showing Angela how to play, so you enquired about the game from Alex a few days ago. You saw a chance to get through the invisible wall, conquer your feelings, and really get to know Spencer. You were determined to get over this stupid crush of yours for the sake of befriending him, you were tired of being the only person that didn’t get to enjoy his company.

“That sounds fun”, you managed to blurt out, both you and Spencer seemed shocked that you were actually speaking to him. “I mean, I’m not very experienced with video games, but it looks like a lot of fun”, your voice was quivering from nerves and you just prayed he didn’t notice, “I think all the cosmetics are really cool too.”

“Yes!” Spencer seemed to almost jump at the opportunity to talk to you, “they released a Sabrina Carpenter skin. You like her, don’t you?”

Your heart was going a mile a minute, were you actually managing to talk to him? And how did he know you were a fan of Sabrina Carpenter?

“Yeah, I love her!” You found yourself actually smiling, even though you were resisting the urge to find the nearest escape route like some kind of prey animal, “I didn’t know she had a collaboration with them. I actually just ordered the Short n’ Sweet Deluxe vinyl record I’ve been wanting for ages, it took me, like, an hour to decide which colour to get.”

“And which colour was that?” He asked.

“The blue one”, you quickly replied, “the white pearl one was pretty but I wanted the brighter colour. I thought it would look cuter on my record player.”

You were so excited that Spencer seemed interested in talking to you, it almost outweighed the incredible amount of nerves you were experiencing in that moment. You were trying your absolute hardest to form normal words and sentences in his presence. Having his whole attention on you as you spoke was so foreign and just as scary as it normally was, but it was also sort of thrilling. You felt like a teenager again, trying something new and rebellious that you figured you might regret later. There was a paradox of wanting to talk to him like this more to aid in your mission to get over your feelings for him, but the more he looked at you and spoke to you, the more you felt yourself falling.

You were making crazy progress on holding a conversation with him, though. You were definitely being more reserved than when you chatted with other people in the office, but this was breaking the record for longest talk you’ve ever had with him. It made your heart beat so fast you were scared you would pass out.

You had moved onto the topic of music and your record collection, the one you had been working on ever since you moved into your own apartment.

“I have about 30 now”, you had a small, proud smile on your face, “it’s growing slowly, I try not to blow all my money on them.”

“No, I get it”, he said back, grinning, “that is so cool, frankly.”

You felt your entire upper body flush with heat when he said that, your face feeling red and tingly. Part of you wanted to squeal at his compliment and the other part wanted to disappear, dig a hole into the floor and hide in it. Yapping came so naturally to you, but it was still proving difficult to speak to him. Your brain was in overdrive, trying so hard to pick the right words to say and string them into coherent sentences, stuff that was as easy as breathing when you spoke to anybody else.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Spencer sounded worried all of a sudden. When you looked at him with a confused expression, he pointed at your mug, “your hands are shaking pretty bad right now, you might want to put that drink down.”

You hadn’t noticed, you were indeed shaking, little ripples running through your tea from the movement.

“I’m okay”, you tried to grin widely, but it felt like a grimace. You tightened your hold on your tea, willing yourself to stop trembling. You realised you had probably reached your limit on talking to Spencer for today. Any more and you may have a heart attack. “Just a bit of the shakes, I have weak arms”, you lied.

“Are you sure-“

“Yes!” Your reply was too hasty and too loud, “yes, of course! I really need to get back to work though.”

He nodded as you cautiously stepped past him and almost jogged towards the exit, careful not to spill your drink.

“Talk to you later, Y/N.”

You paused, looking at him over your shoulder. You could have sworn he looked worried, nervous even. You felt extra light on your feet knowing he wanted to talk to you again.

“Yeah”, you couldn’t help the smile that took over your face, cheeks red and hands damp with sweat, “yeah, talk to you later, Spencer.”

He smiled back in a way that made your chest hurt and you couldn’t figure out if there was actually a halo of glowing light around him or you were hallucinating. You had to turn away and keep walking or you would have burst into flames with how warm your entire body had become. The gentle way he spoke to you replayed in your head over and over and over.

How the hell were you going to get over him?

☆

Spencer couldn’t help smiling to himself as he typed. He was a little distracted from his work today.

“What’s gotten into you?” Alex asked, alarmed at his behaviour. “You’re acting weird and happy and giddy.”

“Excuse me?”

“No, it’s just… did something happen?” Alex abandoned their desk and came over to him. They could be such a gossip sometimes. “Did you finally ask Y/N what the problem was?”

“No”, Spencer stopped doing his work too, turning to look at them, “but we had, like, an actual conversation.”

Alex’s eyebrows shot up, “wow, really?”

“Yes, dude, we talked about Sabrina Carpenter in Fortnite and their record collection”, he was obviously excited, “and it wasn’t a long talk, but they spoke actual sentences to me.”

“Good for you, buddy”, Alex patted his back, trying not to laugh as Spencer turned back to his monitor with a huge smile on his face, “good for you.”

☆

It had been a week since you had that discussion with Spencer and you were still reeling from it. You both got very busy and you didn’t really find yourself alone with him after that. You were both excited and very scared about the next time you could potentially talk. You had been mentally hyping yourself up before work everyday, just in case. You were determined to push your feelings down as far as possible, so you could have a longer conversation next time.

It was a sunny Friday morning when you breezed through the door, mood high because the barista at the cafe remembered your order and gave you a dollar discount. You greeted every single person you walked past and gave Courtney a huge hug when you saw her.

“You’re in a good mood”, they laughed, “happy Friday, huh?”

“I just feel like today’s gonna be an amazing day”, you hummed, pulling away and grabbing her hand. You swung them around between you wildly as you spoke, “the weather’s gorgeous, my coffee tastes extra good this morning, you look beautiful. It’s been great so far.”

She leaned forward and laughed hard.

“Are you sure it’s not because you’re filming with Spence later?”

“What?” You stopped swinging your arm, looking at her with wide eyes, “that’s not why- no, I didn’t even know, no, well, I did know but, that’s not a reason to- like, I don’t even…”

“Okay, breathe”, Courtney was wheezing with laughter now, “I was just teasing, Y/N. You’re okay.”

You fanned your face lightly, why was it so hot in here all of a sudden? Did they know about your feelings for Spencer? You swore you were working on that. Hopefully, the mention of him won’t make you feel like this soon.

“I’ve never seen you stumble over words like that before”, they started swinging your arms again, “what was that about? I thought you didn’t like him.”

“It’s not that I don’t like him”, you explained, shaking your head, “I like him! I like him a lot!”

Another weakness of yours that came along with being a yapper was your bad habit of over-explaining. You couldn’t shut up if you tried, unfortunately.

“You… like him a lot?” Courtney raised a single eyebrow, “never heard you admit that before. That’s very interesting.”

“No!” You let go of her hand to wave yours in front of her in a panic, “no, not like that!”

“Yeah”, she replied, slowly stepping away from you and heading back in the direction she was originally going, “totally, yeah. You didn’t mean it like that.”

You rushed away to your desk, cheeks flared up and your head down to hide it. You didn’t see Courtney look back at you with a mischievous smirk.

☆

“Y/N is on one today”, Courtney gasped as everyone was trying to catch their breath. You had told an off-hand, low-brow joke that you did not expect to land, but apparently everyone at Smosh had the humour of a 12 year old boy. Your chest swelled with pride, not from making everyone at the table laugh, but for making specifically Spencer laugh so hard, he was covering his face with his hands.

You silently thanked the heavens that you got to film a Moose Master video with Spencer today without going through the emotional and physical torture of sitting directly next to him. In your opinion, he looked super hot today, he was wearing a hoodie and pushed the sleeves up instead of taking it off when the game really heated up. All you wanted was to stop looking at the cameras and just stare at his tattoos to commit them to memory. Making him laugh while he looked so good was like doing crack. Or what you imagined doing crack was like.

As the game continued, the volume in the room only increased, more rules making people screw up and yell at each other. It was getting intense.

“You said her first name!” You pointed at Noah accusingly, interrupting the tirade he was on, “you broke a rule! I got your ass!”

“Y/N”, clearly frustrated, Noah put his hand up in your face, “shut up for once!” He then continued with the argument he was having with Amanda.

The comment was played for laughs, clearly all in the lighthearted spirit of the game. You had to admit the way he worded it hurt a little bit. But at the end of the day, you knew he didn’t mean it, you had all said stuff you didn’t mean in the heat of the moment. It wasn’t a big deal, so you got over that twang of pain pretty fast.

Seeming to notice you had become uncharacteristically silent for a moment, Spencer locked eyes with you from across the table. He silently raised his eyebrows and gave you a miniscule nod, you knew this meant ‘are you okay?’ Your cheeks flushed at him paying attention to solely you amongst the chaos and you nodded back in assurance before returning to the game.

His consideration unleashed a thousand butterflies in your stomach, it was clearly not a big deal, but he still wanted to check on you. You almost wanted to be mad at him for being so cute and sweet. He really was not going to let this ‘getting over your crush’ thing easy.

☆

After an hour, filming wrapped and everyone slowly dispersed. You lingered back a little, discussing something random with Courtney. You two walked off the set a little slower than the others, and once you were back in the main section of the office, you bid Courtney adieu as they went off to take care of something else.

“Hey Y/N”, you jumped a little in surprise, you hadn’t realised Spencer was standing by the door, just out of sight. “Can we talk for a second?”

Oh my god, here we go. You had been gearing up for your next one-on-one conversation with Spencer, you wanted this one to go off without a hitch, leaving him thinking you were charismatic and clever. The problem lay in the fact that when you were finally alone with him, and his beautiful eyes were gazing into yours and only yours, your mind went completely blank.

“Yeah”, you replied, exhaling. You didn’t even realise you had been holding your breath. You were glad nobody else was around to see you embarrass yourself.

“Did…”, Spencer scratched the back of his neck, “did what Noah said during that video upset you? I mean, I know you nodded like you were okay, but I just wanted to check on you to make sure, because that was a pretty rude thing to say”, his eyes were avoiding yours this time, “even though I know you know he didn’t really mean it. That doesn’t make it okay, though. Okay, I’m rambling right now, I’m gonna stop…”

You stared at him speechlessly. He was being so unbelievably cute right now. The care he was showing for you and your feelings endeared him to you so much it hurt.

“Spencer, you’re making this so hard”, you groaned without thinking. When you realised what you said, you wanted to run again. Flight or fight activated.

He furrowed his brow in confusion, “making what hard?”

Now you’ve gone and done it. You were incredibly embarrassed, searching the floor for some sort of way out of this situation.

“No, Noah didn’t make me uncomfortable”, you said in a monotone voice.

“Y/N, what am I making hard?” He ignored you and took a step forward, you started to panic.

“That’s what she said”, you couldn’t even laugh at your joke. He didn’t laugh either, and that made you feel even worse.

“Y/N”, Spencer slowly reached for you, as if you were a skittish wild animal. You tried your hardest not to flinch when he gently put his hand on your upper arm. “What’s going on? You can tell me.”

You finally looked up at him. There was an entire galaxy in his eyes you wanted to explore. He had gotten so close to you, but you wanted him even closer.

“I know you don’t really like talking to me, but”, he swallowed, “I really want to change that. You just need to tell me what to do.”

“I do, though”, you mumbled, your face felt so hot, you could probably cook an egg on it. “I want to talk to you all the time, it’s just-”, you shut your mouth, not daring to say anything further.

“What am I making hard for you, Y/N?” He was whispering now.

There was a beat of silence. It couldn’t have been more than ten seconds, but it felt like it stretched on for hours.

“Getting over you”, you whispered back meekly, hands balling into fists by your sides. “Getting over my big, fat crush on you”, you said a little louder, you were diving into the deep end, laying bare your soul for him.

“What?” Spencer’s eyes had widened to the size of saucers, entire body almost recoiling in surprise. “That doesn’t make sense. I thought you didn’t like me. You talk to every single person in the office like they’re your best friend except for me.”

“Y-you make me nervous”, you shifted your weight from one foot to the other, “I’ve never been any good at talking to cute guys I like.”

Spencer’s cheeks flushed a deep red. He seemed almost as flustered as you.

“But!” You were fighting to save the situation, the last thing you wanted was to completely fuck up the work environment for both of you because of your schoolyard crush. “I promise I’m trying my best to get over my feelings for you. And then it’ll be so much easier to chat, and we can yap all day long together! I just need some time to work on it, that’s all.”

“Stop”, he murmured, tone pleading. He had stepped even closer, you could feel the heat coming off his body. Or it was just the heat your own face was generating. You were pretty sure you were visibly sweating. “Stop that.”

“What-”

“I don’t want you to”, he gently took your hand and you felt like you couldn’t breathe, a shiver ran up your spine, “I don’t want you to get over me.” His green eyes bore into yours, your heart thudded against your ribcage as you willed yourself not to break eye contact. “I haven’t been able to get over you, you know”, he spoke to you in a quiet tone you had never heard from him before, “ever since we talked in the break room, I’ve been thinking about you all the time.”

You opened your mouth and closed it a few times, completely in shock and searching for words that were not coming to you. You were so accustomed to knowing what to say in reply to pretty much anything, the constant flow of conversation buzzing at the back of your head came to a screeching halt. There was nothing but a heavy silence in your head as the man you’ve been pining for was metaphorically grabbing your heart out of your chest and claiming it as his.

“Just… thinking about you and how funny and bright you are”, he kept going, you had never heard Spencer word-vomit like this and it made your heart soar, “you talk so loud, but I love it because I can still hear you even though you won’t talk to me”, that made you laugh, your free hand coming up to cover your red face. “Your jokes always get me, and I love how you laugh with your whole body. I’m just always thinking about your smile, and your humour, and how kind you are to everyone, you’ve been driving me crazy.”

You covered his mouth with your trembling hand. You were so flustered, you felt like you were going to melt into a puddle any second. He looked at you with expectant eyes, round and imploring, like he was asking a silent question.

“You’re talking more than me for once”, you inspected every part of his face, you rarely had the opportunity to do that, you had been avoiding being close to him all this time after all. He chuckled behind your hand, the way his eyes crinkled a little in the corners when he smiled made you want to scream. You worried that he might be able to feel your racing pulse. “I never thought you would like me back.”

He slowly pushed your hand away from his mouth, “and I never thought you would like me. You acted like you hated me.”

“Okay”, you started, cutting yourself off with an embarrassed chortle, “I was panicking every time I saw you, I’m sorry!”

You joked with each other like that for the next few minutes, your heartbeat slowing slightly as you calmed down. Your chest tightened with excitement as you realised he had inched even closer, almost touching you. He looked at you with so much affection in his eyes when you laughed at something he said. You felt like you were on cloud nine.

“So”, you looked down at your fingers still interlocked, “what does this mean for us then?”

“Well”, Spencer pretended to think really hard, “if you can actually stand talking to me for more than five minutes,” he ignored you as you smacked his chest in fake offence, “would you like to go on a date with me?”

You hummed, also pretending to think really hard. He grinned at you, eyes fond. You wondered if he had been looking at you like that all this time.

“Yes, I think I’d like that”, you answered softly.

Feeling bold, you leaned in slightly, wondering if you could get away with kissing him on the cheek. He had other plans, tilting his head so his lips were almost grazing yours. He stayed still, waiting on you, always waiting on you. Both of you had your eyes half closed, transfixed on each other’s lips. Your stomach flipped as you took the leap, moving forward and pressing your mouth against his. It was absolute bliss.

Just like that, the invisible wall between you came tumbling down. It was like it was never there in the first place as Spencer’s hand squeezed yours tight.

☆

Note: Thank you for reading, please let me know what you think! Also, I am happy for people to send requests, I want to try writing shorter fics, so that would be perfect! If you have sent me an ask, please be patient with me as I work through them, thanks guys. <333

♡ masterlist

[stepswowdsen]

【KagePro】 KuroEne AU: Kuroha pretends to join the Mekakushi Dan

KuroEne AU scenario where Kuroha/Saeru pretends to join the Mekakushi Dan, while getting intimate with Ene. Shintaro gets worried for Ene's sake as her friend.

Sen's KuroEne AU: Summary

(Kagerou Daze Manga: Ch. 64)

Mary confronts Kuroha... but with a twist :)

Credit: Feila

The credit for the KuroEne shitpost meme edit goes to Feila

They originally came up with the idea and made the shitpost meme edit, I just edited it over the JP scans (which are in high-res)

Since I haven't bought the Kagerou Daze Manga volumes in EN yet, only in JP

I'M CRYING LMAOOOO 😭😂

Ty for your service as always 🫡💞

Teamwork! 🎉

I'll put the summary of my rambles and my and Feila's discussion rambles under the cut!

Our discussion was really long so I'll just be pasting it here

9/07/2024 - 9/08/2024

Chats with Feila we had on 9/7 to 9/8

Original vs. Meme Versions

Original (JP)

Shitpost (JP)

Original (EN)

Shitpost (EN)

Text Version

Bear with me y'all since I haven't bought the EN volumes yet

I only have a few of the JP volumes rn. I'm planning to buy the rest eventually

I found out the exact font that the EN Official TL uses to typeset the KagePro manga's main dialogue with

I'm still trying to find the exact font for the JP one, so it's just really similar (but similar enough to fool people LOL)

Close enough since it's REALLY similar

I also found out the exact font used for Magi's main dialogue in Viz's EN Official TL too :)

...

F: YAAAYYYY

I'm gonna gaslight a few people into thinking this is the canon one

Me: IKR cuz now we have the exact same font as the official version LMAOOO 😂

...

F: WE DID IT 🤯🔥

Me: Power of teamwork, wahoo!!

F: Now time to fool people

...

F: GOOGLE TRANSLATE 😭😭😭

Me: HELPPP

F: It'd be funnier if the panel below was Saeru smirking while saying "hell yeah"

Me: WHDSHDHS HONESTLY IT WOULD

I should edit another image from the KagePro manga (later)

F: WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO 😭

Me: Like just take a panel of him smirking from somewhere else and then paste it instead of the bottom panel

But dang the last panel in the OG page overlaps with the 2nd panel

Maybe later but not rn

F: That's gonna take a lot of photoshopping

Tho it is possible

F: Pls focus on other things 🙏

F: Also isn't your birthday coming up?-

Me: Oooh yeah it is! I'm planning to draw something for it tho it might be late (which is fine)

September 12th ^^

F: Noted :3

Me: 6 days away from 9/6 Day and 6 is Ene's Mekakushi Dan code number. Ene we were made for each other wifey 💙💘💞💗

KuroEne AU: Kuroha/Saeru pretends to join the Mekakushi Dan

Continuation of these rambles.

Saeru's amassed power and resources

Minor thing but wrong particle in the 1st image

I think whoever edited the Wiki page copy pasted from Ayano's Eye Ability, Favouring Eyes (目をかける, Me wo Kakeru) cuz there's a typo here

What it says:

目をか冴える蛇 (Me wo Ka Saeru Hebi)

What it should be:

目が冴える蛇 (Me ga Saeru Hebi)

...

Other than that, the KagePro wiki mods are doing God's work fr

...

F: Also Saeru sees 2 disabled kids (HaruTaka) and went "Hell yeah let's kill them"

Me: HWHDSHSDH not only that but he's actually the reason why they were put into a Special Needs classroom for just the two of them

Like Iirc his manipulation while possessing Kenjirou got Takane and Haruka into their own classroom in the first place

F: Just gotta beg the principal bro, as long as they got the budget they're fine

F: I still stand by my old statement

Me: LMFAOOO

Me: Oh yeah I just remembered. He's also the reason why Takane Haruka and Ayano's deaths don't get mass reported to the media cuz he makes sure it stays rather contained within the school

F: 3 kids died on the same day

"Nah bro, nothing going here"

Me: RIGHT like 3 kids dying on the same thing would be a massive thing but apparently cuz of him it gets suppressed

F: Damn Kenjirou's co-workers trusts him that much 😨

Me: I swear I read somewhere that it's cuz of Saeru that the deaths of 3 teens gets swept under the rug so it doesn't ger reported to the media but I can't find it

F: Wait why was Takane put into his lab again?-

Me: Oh yeah that actually does bring up a good point.

Like it's possible that Kenjirou (while under the influence of Saeru) administers a poison of some kind to possibly kill her after she collapses from her chronic illness. Then he takes her body to the lab

Me: The fact that Saeru takes both Takane (who turned into Ene) and Haruka (whose body turned into Konoha) into his lab…

F: Yeah, she became a digital virus and all, and her body completely lost all consciousness, I'm just wondering why she was kept in the lab

To prevent it from rotting? I guess that's reasonable, or it's just for the plot???

Me: Yeah I don't think there's much details other than that she was separated from her physical body. Like I noticed Takane's hair grows longer in Novel Route (her bangs grew after 2 years) once she's reunited with her body

F: I'm gonna guess that it's to keep them from rotting

And perfect plot device for Ene to just suddenly "HELL YEAH I'M ALIVE AGAIN" in the anime

Me: Ooooh yeah true

Me: OH I FOUND IT

The 2nd image

And this is exactly why I HC'ed that he'd get a nice real estate for him and Ene to stay in in my KuroEne AU~

F: WHERE DID BRO GET THE BUDGET FROM WHA 😨

Me: Tax evasion /jk

Ok I'm kidding he probably has ways to convince/manipulate people

F: I know humans are dumb, but this guy took it to another level

KuroEne Meme

F: A very normal unedited panel (trust me)

Me: I'M SCREAMING

Me: Someone should definitely ask him this in my KuroEne AU 😭😂

F: Go for Mary wwww

Me: Mary or Shintaro asking him this would honestly be funny LOL

F: He'd be frightened about them knowing it too

Me: I think in my AU, he'd certainly be a bit surprised/caught off guard by others knowing and/or catching onto their relationship, but doesn't mind. For most Routes, he goes along with Ene's wishes to keep their relationship a secret.

It's so funny to think about the perspective of an outsider (another MekaDan member) on their relationship. Plans of trying to rewind the world and whatever those two (KuroEne) are doing

F:

"You're going to fuck her again, aren't you?" (Mary to Saeru)

"You're going to fuck him again, aren't you?" (Shintaro to Ene)

I've cracked the code 🔥

Me: LMAO

Shintaro: GOD, ENE!!! Don't make me witness your "games" with that guy!!!

F: Like yes he wants to rewind the world so he can keep living forever, but he also wants a gf :3

F: His jaw would drop so hard it de-attaches 😭

Me: Right cuz by causing the time loops he can live forever AND be with his lover for eternity ^^ It's a win-win for him

It'd be so embarrassing for him (Shintaro) like he never imagined the selfish cheeky Ene would get all flustered and embarrassed around that guy. Added with their relationship.

F: This trade is unfair man, Ene's friends gotta die and she can't continue to the future

Me: Yeah… he actively robs everyone of a future in order to serve his own selfish interests, and he knows it.

...

Me: It's so funny to think about how any MekaDan member who finds out about their r/s would be in disbelief.

Though some others would take it better.

Meanwhile Shintaro feels like a roof dropped on him

F: Momo is just supportive, not concerned about Saeru's background 😭

Me: Yeahh others like Seto and Momo are confused

And others would be confused but supportive

F: While Mary is all "😭😭???"

Ene with that "I can fix him" mindset is so funny

Me:

Kuroha: You can't fix me, but I can make you worse :)

I'll make you just like me -> I'll dye you in my colour

F: OH They both got worse indeed

Too freaky

Me: Let's just say that Kuroha seducing/enticing Ene and generally encouraging her to let go of her inhibitions/restraints causes them to indulge in their pleasures together.

While they play the game together, Kuroha decides to play nice… for now.

He knows he's just deciding to act tamer and finding something to entertain himself with (someone to play the game with) before he moves forward with his real plans.

Me: But yeah I do think a few members like Shintaro are kinda suspicious of Saeru's background.

Someone suddenly came and announced that they could make an android body for Ene, free of charge? Something doesn't feel right. He seems up to something...

Like Shintaro mostly dismisses it, but when he really starts thinking about it… It's too suspicious.

F: And Saeru's the only one who's good at keeping Ene under control as if he's playing with her mind

F: Ene has no filter around people unless she develops attachment towards them (kinnie moment-)

Me: YEAH cuz at first Shintaro's parading with Saeru's existence like "Wahoo! There's someone who can finally tease Ene and keep that pesky virus under control! Payback! I KNEW that life would finally reward me with good things eventually!!!"

Me: It's honestly funny to imagine Shintaro accidentally walking in on glimpses of their intimacy (them kissing) and finding out that they're romantically involved. And then, when he really starts thinking about it... Saeru's whole deal seems suspicious.

F: Also he has no degree in engineering but can build a whole android body??? FOR FREE?? Actually he is the degree he doesn't need one, does he?

Me: With his accumulation of knowledge, yeah

Me: Yeahhh it'd be fun if Shintaro confronts Saeru alone about how suspicious he seems. He came out of nowhere and suddenly insists that he made a body for her.

(Well… technically the entire MekaDan did but they feel more earnest and genuine)

He tells Saeru that he doesn't know what's in it for him and that it's not his business, but he's worried for her (Ene) as a friend

Tho Saeru probably knows how to counter Shintaro's answers just due to his knowledge. Shintaro still feels suspicious but lets it slide for now

Me: Same with me omg I mildly relate to Takane/Ene in a lot of aspects

This is apart of what makes her a very important and personal character to me

F: So Kuroha yapping is real, got it

F: Seeing her in MCA is like looking at a mirror for me omfg 😭

…

Me: He seems talkative/chatty when he wants to be

Me: I relate to Takane/Ene sm…

F: What if Shintaro questions Ene instead 🤔

Me: OH yeah Shintaro probably tries asking Ene first cuz Kuroha is honestly… unnerving/intimidating ngl

F: I mean, just look at him

I'D RUN BRO, THE DAN WAS STRONG FOR THIS

Or is Shintaro mad he can't pull and Ene manage to pull a random ass emo guy that looks like her crush's game avatar under a day?

Me: (KagePro Manga: Ch. 9)

(KagePro Manga: Ch. 17)

But Ene obviously doesn't want to tell him about their r/s and goes like "Don't pry into a girl's secrets!!!"

Ene gets embarrassed when Shintaro asks her about her r/s with him. Ene just tells him that he is a mysterious stranger that came and proposed that he could give her a body after hearing about her current predicament of being trapped inside the cyber world.

MekaDan members are just so compassionate as well

Shintaro: What's your deal with that guy!? Well, look, look, I know it's not my business, but—!

Shintaro: See! That sounds even more suspicious when you put it like that! I mean—! What kind of guy would do this all for free!? You can't tell me he's doing all this out of the GOODNESS of his heart!

Ene doesn't tell Shintaro that he (Kuroha) resembles Konoha.

Because she wants to keep her past to himself and avoid reminding him (Shintaro) of the past)

Though I think Shintaro eventually does put two and two together that he looks like Haruka.

And that eventual realization hits him like a brick

Shintaro: What if you get into trouble and something happens? That guy just looks like he's up to no good!

Ene: Awww~ Is Master worried about me?

Shintaro: Not!!! (-> He totally is)

Ene: But don't worry! He's been really nice to me! He always does what I ask~ Whenever I want something, he always finds a way to give it to me! Ene: He takes me places to go and sightsee, like the Amusement Park~ He gives me gifts, such as new clothes to wear~ Video games~ Unlike a certain someone who just stays cooped up in his room all day~

Shintaro: Heyyy! 💢

Shintaro: But isn't that suspicious?

Shintaro: (Why the sudden favouritism, though? He has a thing for her and wants to impress her, or something?)

Ene: I think you're just being a worryart, Master~

Me: Saeru fulfills his purpose as the "being that fulfills wishes" to an extent... He grants Ene's wishes and desires and pleasures.

But never completely grants his owner's wish

Ene isn't his owner tho so he can play along with her whims to appease her

...

F: Shintaro forgot genuinely nice people exists probably, but the fact that they're talking about Saeru in this context, he has the right to be suspicious

Me: Yeahhh like at this point I think Shintaro is still knee deep into his pessimism/cynicism, but slowly opening up cuz of the MekaDan

But with Saeru's context, showing up one day and building her a body? He finds it hard to believe. The situation is SO surreal to him.

F: Both Ene and Saeru are countering his arguments as much as possible lmao

Me: God Ik Shintaro gets super cowardly but he has some serious balls when he wants to 😭

Like when Kuroha goes on his killing spree at the end of Manga Route 1 (and starts killing everyone in the Mekakushi Dan after their Amusement Park trip).

Shintaro tries to shield Momo, his younger sister, from Kuroha when he points the gun at her and runs in front of her.

The adrenaline rushes in for him to protect a sibling/family member with his life

F: Bro hides his potential for plot duh

Me: OH yeah true

Me: And so, Shintaro realizes he has to confront Kuroha himself after he realized he's not getting any answers from Ene…

Shintaro: (Great...... Worst option. Ene wouldn't tell me anything when I tried asking, so now it looks like the only option is to ask HIM... He's frigging scary, though!)

F: And Saeru using reverse psychology on him 😭

Me:

Shintaro: (God, this is the worst kind of situation...! I mean, what am I doing? I know it's not my business, but… What the hell is this?)

Shintaro: (I mean, no matter how you look at it, it's just strange… He managed to accomplish something like transferring someone's consciousness to a robot...)

Shintaro: (How he'd manage to develop tech more advanced than this world's greatest scientists? It can't just be because he's some prodigy from a wealthy family or whatever. It doesn't make sense. And all for free? And I can't help but feel worried for her, too. What if she gets into trouble because of him?)

F:

Shintaro: What are you up to, huh??? Why would you suddenly create a fully functioning Android Body specifically for her? You're not gonna hurt her, are you?

Kuroha: Are you projecting right now?

F: Reminding back the trauma of losing his friends just because he doesn't keep an eye on them for 1 sec…

Me: ;__;

Me: Also knowing Saeru, he can definitely spin up some lies to get away with it. He's good at twisting words. He knows what to say.

Me: OOO yeah I definitely imagine they'd say something like this

…

F: The fact that your canon-verse KuroEne AU reminds me of RuiNene (ProSeka)

(Genius mfs inventing shit that benefits their gfs)

Me: Reminds me my friend Aya was like "Him and his autistic wife" 💜💚

F: They're both autistic actually, Sega told me-

Me:

I imagined a scenario like this

Shintaro: (Shintaro approaches Kuroha from behind and places a hand on his shoulder.)

Shintaro: Hey, hold it...!

Kuroha: (Kuroha raises an eyebrow with an amused smirk on his face when he turns around to face him.)

Kuroha: Hm? Oh, Shintaro? What is it?

Shintaro: I need to talk to you. In private.

Kuroha: Well? What did you want to talk to me about?

Shintaro: Ene said that you showed up one day and told her you could make a body for her. And all for free? It doesn't make sense! What's in it for you? You can't say you're doing this out of the KINDNESS of your heart.

Shintaro: Sometimes you guys disappear for days on end, too!

Shintaro: …Look. I don't trust you.

Kuroha: Oh? Are you really that suspicious of me?

Me: Shintaro's comment of "Sometimes you guys disappear for days on end" is in reference to Kuroha taking Ene to visit his real estates for them to be together during their trysts (games of intimacy)

F: And then he went on yapping about how much he banged Shin's digital malware, peak plot

Me: LMFAO 😭😂

Oh yeah I imagine that in Routes where Kuroha joins the Mekakushi Dan in Konoha's place, he knows that certain members will be more on guard around him than others

Thankfully he's good at talking his way around things (and he can see through Kano's Deceiving Eyes too)

F: Tbh, since he can easily manipulate Mary into resetting the time

Maybe he would play around like this

Me: Oooh yeah true

Like he's interested to see how much he can mess around (even when the others start to catch onto him).

He probably just thinks "You all can't stop me anyways"

Me: Mary would be confused but supportive. She's got the spirit. She'd still be like ❓

F: 8 (since Konoha is used as a vessel) red eyed teens vs. A snake demon with a glock

Me: WDSHHDSHDSH

This is going to end badly.

F: Does she not have any suspicion about him being Clearing Eyes orrrr-

…

Me: It seems like everyone is unaware of the Clearing Snake's existence before the start of the present day plot except for Kano (and Ayano, who is in the Daze in most Routes) in the present plot

Me: But yeah I wonder if Mary or any others would start to catch onto him. Cuz technically Kuroha can fool the others by saying he's Awakening Eyes…

He can use Konoha's Eye Ability, Awakening Eyes, and his eyes turn red when he uses it

F: True and everyone thought that he might have another someone that got sucked into the Kagerou Daze and he was the one who got out alive

I feel like Shintaro will most likely find out

He's got the highest suspicion for him

Me: Yeah I think Shintaro is one of the members most likely to catch onto Saeru first. Plus he's worried about Ene for the sake of a friend

Shintaro's technically clever and was considered an academic prodigy. He always aced tests due to his photographic memory Iirc

F: I FORGOT HE'S A GENIUS

Me: When Shintaro asks Ene, she just tells him she's decided not to delve too much into Kuroha'sbackground/past

Shintaro: But don't you find it suspicious? He just showed up one day and said he could do this for you. Something doesn't feel right...

F: Academically tho I don't think he can read people well

Me: It's cuz he's usually so pathetic /endearing

Oh yeah Shintaro has booksmarts he's not good at reading people emotionally

And obviously Shintaro is one of the only members aside from Ene to realize that he looks like Haruka

Like the realization probably hits him way later on

F:

Ene: But look! I can change my clothes now!

F: He was trying to forget Haruka too… Are you trying to re-torture this guy but with a KuroEne love/hate-sex twist onto it???

Me:

Ene: I'm not just stuck in your computer or phone anymore! I see it as a win! (⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡)

Me: HELPPPP

Oh god yeah I just realized the KuroEne AU routes where Kuroha joins the Mekakushi Dan ends up putting Shintaro through the wringer emotionally

Imagine having to deal with worrying over a friend and having to keep an eye on a guy you're really suspicious of cuz you don't know what he's really up to (and what his true intentions are)

F: I feel like making him notice that Ene looks like Takane and then realizing that she IS Takane

And witnessing her GETTING FUCKED BEFORE HE DOES is uh Idk cool plot but poor guy

Me: Yeah like he'd eventually put two and two together. And then it explains her infatuation with the Haruka lookalike guy (Kuroha)

F: You're making him relapse wow 😭😭😭

Me: Honestly sad for him cuz Ene wanted to avoid reminding him of the past but Kuroha's actions end up doing it anyways

F: So do I say fuck you, Author, or fuck you, Saeru???

Me: Didn't realize how much emotional baggage Shintaro would go through with this but it's interesting to think about from a writing standpoint

One of the things that Micchan pointed out to me is that apparently Haruka can see and hear whatever Konoha's body feels.

So when Black Konoha (Kuroha/Saeru) fucks Ene… Yeah.

I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT EITHER UNTIL SHE POINTED IT OUT TO ME

F: It does make it interesting from Shintaro's perspective but my man just wanna stay inside

F: SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

SHIT.

Me: Kuroha's actions end up causing everyone the worst kind of slow eating heartbreak oh my god

F: WELL UH…

That was awkward 😨

M: Holy shit I’m loving that AU this is so angst fuel ⚰️🔥 I’m so sorry Haruka who’s in the Kagerou Daze watching all this unfold SHDJGHKAJSRGD

Me: MICCHAN WHDSHSDH

Me: Oh yeah KagePro LN 6 -over the dimension- canonized that Haruka can see and hear what Konoha's body experiences. So…

F: Haru and Shin are a victim here bro

Me: YEAH I'M MOSTLY JUST GONNA… LOOK AWAY FROM THAT LITTLE TIDBIT

F: ALSO CAN'T AYANO SEE TROUGH SHINTARO'S VISION??? CMIIW

Me: HELPPPPPPPPPPP

F: 4 VICTIMS IF WE INCLUDE MARY WTF

For Ayano though, it depends if this Route takes place after Manga Route 2 (MR2) cuz that's when Shintaro gains an Eye Ability (Ayano as the Snake of Retaining Eyes)

So yeah Ayano is included as one of the people exposed to learning about KuroEne's intimacy if it's post-MR2 AND if Shintaro learns about it.

Cuz Iirc Ayano visits Haruka in the Kagerou Daze and can see what Shintaro sees

Me: I'm just imagining before KuroEne get intimate with each other again...

If Kuroha's truly fucking evil, he can make a side comment like, "We have an audience here, don't we?" In reference to Haruka and Konoha being forced to be spectators to his actions.

And Ene would just be confused by his one off comment like "But there's no one here in this room?"

And he just grins to himself and goes like "…It's nothing" (^-^)

Technically all of the MekaDan members are victims but some especially get put through the wringer

F: Bro's gonna make Mary commit mass murder just to reset the timeline so she didn't have to witness this

Me: Ngl 5 victims if we include Haruka and Konoha. Aren't they basically forced to just be a spectator to Kuroha's actions (including killing everyone, and KuroEne's intimacy)

Cuz Kuroha suppresses Konoha's consciousness while he possesses him but he's not fully gone

Technically, all of the MekaDan members are victims, but some ESPECIALLY get put through the wringer in this.

F: Oh shit an accidental threesome-

Me: YEAH THIS WAS ME WHEN I REALIZED THAT HARUKA (AND PROBABLY KONOHA) WOULD SEE KUROENE'S GAMES... THAT THE "PLAY" TOGETHER...

F: I'm taking off my glasses

That's enough of seeing privilege

Me: I just mainly thought about and focused on the two of them (KuroEne) but then I realized the routes where Kuroha joins the MekaDan ends up causing the others sm pain

F: Positive thinking

He cooks for the Dan, does the laundry for the Dan, takes Ene to the amusement part, cuddles with Ene at night

AND THEN HE KILLS THEM

He did enough nice things ✌️

Me: LMAO

Oh yeah he'd be great at doing the Dan's household chores

And he'd take Ene to the Amusement Park and Ene would come back holding plushies and stuff ^^

F: The only way to gain trust around here tbh

Me: One thing I thought about is that when Shintaro starts to catch onto Kuroha by sifting info, he starts to look into his background and sees how abnormal it is that this guy has money and real estates under his name

When Shintaro confronts Kuroha about this he just tells him (lies) that he gained the inheritance from his wealthy family

F: Pssst… check his taxes

Me: Also another factor that plays into this is that Ene is honestly… gullible and easily trusting. So she wants to believe in Saeru

F: Wait what if Shin asks for his last name, to y'know

Find his possible relatives on Facebook?

Me: OOOOH. I still think Kuroha can still lie his way outta this just fine but Shintaro's probably still suspicious of him (in his mind)

Cuz I imagine Saeru generally secludes himself

F: Ene's mind is all like "Damn, you changed a lot Haruka, what phase did you go through, holy shit"

Me: YEAH I think Ene knows he's different from Haruka but still feels a certain fondness for him

In this Route it means that he would've gained access to resources and amassed money and power through Kenjirou, and when Kenjirou dies after he leaves the body to possess Konoha, Kuroha probably has all his resources forwarded to him

F: Tateyama Saeru, yeah that sounds real stupid

Me: YEAH I don't think of it as adoption but rather like passing it on to a successor. Saeru SHOULD be smart enough to create fake names and identities too

Oh I also just realized.

He can use Awakening Eyes to change his appearance, so he can just change into Kenjirou's appearance even after his death

He can make as many fake identities as he wants to avoid drawing suspicion

He doesn't even need to be labeled as Kenjirou's successor, but he can do whatever he wants to avoid raising suspicion

F: Fooling the government into thinking they're relatives lololololol

Me:

Shintaro: Take a look at this, Ene…

Me: Oh yeah and apparently Konoha stays at Kenjirou's home at first after Saeru ensures his creation

Me: Oh I also just realized. He can use Awakening Eyes to change his appearance so he can just change into Kenjirou's appearance even after his death

He can make as many fake identities as he wants to avoid drawing suspicion

Shintaro: Are you funneling money or something? How the hell did you get the resources to make a fully functional android body?

F: Ooohhh then… Kenjirou inviting both Hibiya and Hiyori into the city is also a setup…

F: TAX EVASION SHIN, TAX EVASION 🔥🔥🔥🔥 /HJ

F: So in Konoha's State Of The World…

Oh I get it now

The story is more complex than I thought

Me: People on the KagePro Wiki are doing god's work fr compiling all the lore

Me: Yeah it looks like Kenjirou (who's possessed by Saeru) inviting them (Hibiya and Hiyori) to the city at the start of KagePro's plot is a setup to orchestrate their deaths

[amuseoffyre]

Fyre's Convention Adventures - The Q&A Panels & Closing Ceremony

Full disclosure, I did intend to do a full write-up of all of the panels, but frankly with 3 hours of them each day, back to back, and fanmeets in the middle, I can only really remember dribs and drabs of them, so I’ll do them in one big post.

Unfortunately, I missed most of the Con and Nathan one for the Vico fanmeet. It sounded like it was chaotic af with an extreme appreciation of cheese, so I can’t really say much on that one.

They did discuss which muppets they thought their characters would be and promptly realised they both knew very few muppets, though Con adamantly – gleefully – insisted Lucius would be Miss Piggy. I think Izzy was Sam the Eagle.

I think that was when Our Little Tiny Izzy Fan (she’s four) asked what their favourite dinosaurs were and Con said “Do you know pterodactyl?” and was immediately heckled because it wasn’t a dinosaur and told everyone to fuck off, laughing, saying “LIKE I WAS SAYING, it’s not a dinosaur, but–” to hoots of laughter. I think he asked what her favourite was and then said that was his favourite too.

Second one was Kristian and Vico, who were so much fun together. There was a lot of discussion of the horror genre and Vico fully admitted they’re a wuss when it comes to horror stuff because it gets in their head and they end up having nightmares. HOWEVER they also said they would love to be in a horror film for the running around and screaming all over the place.

Kristian is a big fan of the genre and mentioned a few of his favourites, which I can’t even remember now because the whole experience was such a wild ride of aaaaaaaa! He also thought Vico would have a lot of fun in the horror genre and he’s done a few himself.

Vico talked about their experience of discovering and accepting their polyamory, being born out of a relationship that went open when it became long-distant because of work and how that did and didn’t work. They also talked about the work it takes to figure out the balance and that there’s something about falling in love and having your heart broken at the same time that’s indescribable.

Kristian talked about his craft projects and how he has the ADHD tendency to start a dozen things but never actually finish them. He also wanted to bring his hot glue gun with him in case diamantes fell off his blinged out shoes, but it was confiscated at the airport.

If I remember right, he also mentioned he got his start in music because his mum had him start piano (I think) at a young age and hated it, but he moved into guitar and other kinds of music and found what he likes and bloomed from there.  He’s also started writing poetry and is enjoying exploring what he can do with it.

Next up was Rhys’s solo panel.

His Big in Japan show was brought up and he said he’d been planning to do more of them but then the pandemic happened, and seemed very pleased when people said how nice it was to see a travel show where the host was genuinely curious and excited by the culture.

It was compared to Michael Palin’s travel shows as well, which led into the influence of Monty Python on him. He also confirmed he’d had the privilege of seeing the Monty Python live show with all of the then-living Pythons and met a couple of them as well.

He got very excited to talk about working with Taika and how he wished Taika would do conventions like this to see the amount of love there was for Ed and his performance.

Someone asked about the time he’d appeared on a float in a parade and was asked what he would have if he was on a float again and it veered rapidly into silliness about being a condor flying over a Costa Rican volcano and then descending into the volcano which was full of little aliens, who were controlling the hydraulics.

I’m afraid I can’t remember much more of that one because I was v. hungry and distracted by it.

The Sunday panels started with Vico and Nathan and sadly, I only saw the start of theirs because I had another fanmeet.

However, I was there for the characters they would like to be in any film. Vico wanted to be Darth Maul (Yes plz!) and Nathan – clearly still yearning for Wicked – said he would love to be the Wicked Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz.

Then there was a question about their favourite pride flag based purely on the aesthetics. Nathan admitted that he finds the rainbow – especially when used by Rainbow Capitalism – a bit tacky. He settled on the lesbian flag, while Vico – after some consideration – declared that the bear flag is the coolest one. “Lesbians and tigers and bears, oh my” Nathan said. I feel like that needs to be on a shirt.

I nipped off to Kristian’s panel during that one and came back a few minutes into the Con and Rhys panel, which was ridiculously funny :D

I’m not sure how they got onto the subject of sex tapes (partly, from the sound of it, related to saying and doing things in interviews that they didn’t want released to the public) and there was a running gag of yelling “gimme the tapes!” every time they said something a bit rude, which was a lot. Specifically for someone called Kevin who was in charge of them.

Con: if this isn’t on a t-shirt at the next con, I’ll be disappointed Rhys: they’ll forget about it by next week Con: Nah, this one’ll stick.

The rest of this’ll be all over the place because I can’t remember what happened when anymore.

They were both asked what they’d learned from each other. Con’s response: how to kiss. Rhys’s response: how to be good. They got talking about the infamous candle scene between them and it went roughly like this:

Rhys: And the scene where you were whacking off the candles and Stede was watching Con: and whacking off XD Rhys: XD Con: there was definitely a frisson there Rhys: Yeah and Stede’s quite innocent when it comes to that sort of physical stuff … Con: That scene actually went on a bit longer. There was a close-up moment where we were nipple to nipple. Con: … Con: though it was probably more like nipple to navel on him.

They got asked about other behind the scenes stuff (what was the hardest scene, or something like that?) and Con had a justifiable grumble about the fact they said Rhys would toss a handful of coffee grounds at him in the duel in 1x6. He asked if it was safe and one of the bts folk was like “yeah, of course, look, I’ll do it myself” and then started swearing because it hurt. But they still did it and Con ended up in a time out because he couldn’t see for a bit.

Rhys said he loved that scene when he got pinned to the mast even though it was very hard because “I love prancing about”. No, really? I couldn’t tell XD

I’m getting a bit muddled about whether Rhys waxed lyrical about Taika in this one as well as his own, but he certainly said something about the bath tub scene being one of his favourites because it’s such intense intimate stuff to do and having your friend there with you, doing it and experiencing it with you is such a powerful thing.

They got pretty sincere with each other as well, Rhys saying that seeing the quality of acting from Con really motivated him to up his acting skills, because seeing what others were doing really inspired him. Likewise, Con said that being around the improve skills of Rhys, Taika and the crew intimidated him at first because he’s very much a by-the-script guy and in S1, he was still a bit uncomfortable with it, but by S2, he felt secure enough with the crew and the cast to do more.

Con also mentioned what he had imagined in an S3 where Izzy survived: Stede and Izzy becoming closer and tolerating (if not necessarily liking) each other because of their shared love of Ed. It’s the kind of dynamic I was already starting to enjoy with them in S2, especially Izzy still roasting him while teaching him and calling him Captain.

He also said if we want David Fane at a con (and we should!), we need to make noise and ask for him, because he would love to do one.

There was a question about whether Izzy would perform Stede and Ed’s matelotage (which he would be able to do as first mate to two captains) and Con said nah, because Izzy isn’t romantic and he doesn’t think they’d want him to. “He’d prefer to watch them fuck”. Thank you for that Conathan O’Nonathan.

It was actually really nice seeing them talk because both of them naturally fall into mirroring each other’s body language, both crossing their legs in the same direction and folding their arms in the same position and the like.

Also, seeing two men their age burst into giggles and smack each other on the arm was a treat.

The next panel was meant to be just Kristian, but he hauled Nathan along with him and was recording it for his podcast. I unfortunately missed a big chunk of it because I was at Con’s fan-meet (rundown posted the other day).

I did come back in to them discussing their Walk On music. Nathan insisted it would be “Here Come The Girls” and Kristian being like “I already have some for when I’m working” (If anyone can remember what it is, let me know). One of them ended up deciding that Black Velvet would be a good one.

I can’t actually remember much about the rest of that one. Possibly something about their choice of karaoke songs and Nathan inexplicably having a funny story of a pig called Kevin, which got such a roar of laughter that he looked v. puzzled. Someone must’ve explained about Con and Rhys’s Kevin bit by the closing ceremony.

I think that’s my memory all tapped out for now, but suffice to say it was an A Lot of a weekend and I enjoyed so much of it :)

I'll give one last shout out to the closing ceremony because there was nothing quite like watching the expressions of a bunch of actors who didn't particularly care about hiding their emotions as the con-runner made a self-congratulatory speech about how good his cons are and how famous his guests are 🤣

Also, Vico and Con both made absolutely wonderful speeches, Vico about finding joy within community and remembering that together we're stronger and better than they can ever know.

And Con began with "Fuck 'em!" and launched into a speech about the loud ones on the right being dinosaurs who would be extinct soon and the whole room went "Ohhhhh" because Tiny Little Izzy fan who loves dinosaurs was still present. Con went "...shit!" as the rest of the cast laughed at him trying to backtrack and insist her favourite would be fine and then laughed sheepishly and said "way to fuck up a speech". But his message still stands - they're outdated and they're gonna be fossils soon and we are stronger and better as a community.

ngl, I wasn't the only having a wee cry over both of them. The entire vibe of the con has been so uplifting and so powerful and encouraging and as Vico said, things like this are the things that fill our cup and we have to hold onto them.

[the-gayest-show]

Through the Looking Back Glass Thoughts/Analysis

I LOVED this episode. It was very endearing and honestly heartwarming (near the end that is) and overall one of my top episodes in the series!

First off, Sofia leaning on Cedric for help with homework is so fucking CUTE. Their dynamic makes me jump up for joy, and Sofia really trusts HIM to get the job done 🥺 Even when Cordelia appears and offers to help, Sofia is still adamant to only have Cedric do it 🥺🥺🥺🥺

It's a small detail, but I think Cedric's pose changes slightly when his sister is around? Like, he's got that hunch back pose that he had in earlier seasons when she's there, it's crazy. There's probably more screenshots I could gather on this but yeah.

The song that comes up in this scene.... mmmm art. Here's me ranting about it.

I think the saddest part of the episode is really seeing Cedric and Cordelia's past dynamic because I genuinely loved it? Like. When they hugged here it was so heartwarming. The nicknames (Cordy, Ceddy) were so cute as well, I guess when they don't use the nicknames in the beginning it's to show the deterioration of their relationship over time, and somewhere in the end of this episode, Cedric starts using the nickname Cordy again which really cements the mending of the relationship. (I did get taken off guard when Cordelia called him Ceddy in the flashback bc I've always associated it with Calista. Maybe Cordelia said it around Calista and she picked it up? IDK)

Cedric is also shown to be really good at magic here. Bro did a spell that was apparently "too advanced" or something? And let's not even begin to discuss the lore implication for WANDLESS MAGIC. BRO TRIED TO REVERSE A SPELL WITH HIS BARE HANDS. THIS MAKES ALREADY INTERESTING STF LORE MUCH MORE INTERESTING.

I find it so interesting that the incident (despite having no known cause at the time) was quite literally blamed on Cedric almost immediately and everyone went with it? Like Cordelia shouts "he ruined it" and no one questions this??? Not even Cedric fending for himself worked? Whoever said in a Tumblr post that this implies that Cedric was treated like some kind of bungler/looked down upon even before this is probably right. Because why else is it just normal for everyone to jump to this conclusion? His parents don't do SHIT about it, and I'm assuming that Goodwyn holds this grudge too (if eps like Mystic Meadows mean anything). Why are they holding onto this for so long? Literally I get holding a bit of resentment but everyone makes mistakes....

Idk this went off, but basically, oof living in your father's shadow was hard AF especially with one mistake people reference in your presence.

Despite this event happening over 30 years ago, it's still somehow the ONE thing people defined him for for years. This episode really further contextualizes his motivations for wanting to become king before season 4. Imagine being rejected from society for YEARS, being belittled and made fun of, people tearing you apart for a mistake you made when you were 9-10 YEARS OLD, it's crazy. 100% that took a toll on him, something you can see in this episode and literally most episodes. It's just really sad.

I'm glad that Sofia and Calista were able to help the both of them realize that it wasn't actually Cedric's fault (something Cordelia should've realized years ago, but seeing the event happen as it did was more a confirmation for Cedric than anything). Cordelia and Cedric forgiving each other was a bit too fast considering everything but I'm glad their relationship is mending.

Credit where credit is due, she sticks up for him after this and lets Cedric do his thing and lets him help Sofia without any ifs and buts, it's sweet.

Personally, I feel that Cedric and Cordelia probably still have a semi-strained relationship after this ep (your sister being the reason you were made fun of for years, and that reason wasn't even valid to begin with defo is not smth you can recover fast from in a 22 min episode)

Also, it's not hard to believe the circumstances wouldn't have changed if the incident were truly Cedric's fault, but Cordelia needed a wakeup call I guess, that works.

Want to mention King Roland for a second because dude. Why is your first reaction to blame Cedric (again), instead of the 2 other magic users in the room (ESPECIALLY THE CHILD. Look I'm a Calista fan thru and thru but logically the blame would be shifted there to an extent??)

King Roland I thought we were over with this since Day of the Sorcerers?? What happened to being NICER to Cedric and maybe NOT blaming him for every little thing? Idk that kinda pissed me off. The fact that Cordelia was the only thing stopping Roland from interrogating the guy... THIS BEHAVIOUR IS WHY CEDRIC TRIED TO TAKE OVER YOUR KINGDOM!!! ROLAND THE 2ND YOU IDIOT!!!

In conclusion, love me a character focused episode that develops a backstory as well as a slight resolution. 1000/10 would re-experience this again.

[nickssidewitch]

literally proving my point. The baby thinks that they’re always right, on opinions. There is no evidence on your little blog that you have had a civil discussion with anyone that disagrees u less they kiss your ass in the ask. Your attitude from anyone who is sucking up to you is always horrible and toxic. And they are right: it’s actually the simple thing of just ignore blogs you don’t like that’s it. But you like attention and of course can criticise others but god forbid you get criticised.

You want me to be nasty so bad? Okay, I’ll be nasty so your ass gets the fuck out of my ask inbox.

This is gonna be long af, but that’s because it needs to be.

You really don’t be checking my posts huh 💀 There’s no way you are making such unintelligent claims that are literally very untrue. One scroll through my account where I have disagreements with people (who disagree with me in a civilized manner btw), and you’ll see that I always match that energy. Why the fuck wouldn’t I? That would be weird as fuck if someone came to me alll nice and then I answered bitchy. And if there was ever a situation where my tone did sound bitchy and the anon clarified that they took offense to it, I alwaysss apologize. Again, one scroll will show that.

I’ve explained every single point to a T. I’ve explained it in both advanced terms as well as the most simple terms. A baby (like how you’re referring to me as a baby lmao) could understand me. If you still don’t understand my perspective, then womp womp nigga.

The only people I don’t have civil discussions with are the people who post up in my asks uncivilized i.e. you, bruh. I tried being respectful with you, but when you came at me sideways, of course I’m gonna respond to you with the same sideways energy. Tf? i’m not gonna be a nice bitch when someone’s deliberately being cross with me. I’m not a weak nigga.

I stand up for the Tumblr community, and that includes calling out an account that is a bullshit exposing account that will literally do more harm than good for the community. If you still don’t understand why, reread alllllll of my posts about it slowly. There’s no way you still don’t get me bruh. I feel like you do, but you just want to antagonize me.

You wanna seem like you’re some big bitch who is putting me in a corner because I’m exposing how ludicrous having an expose account is on any community or fandom. Who tf are you??? 😭😭😭😭

I make tarot posts! Tarot and energy reading = FUN yippee time! “Exposing” ≠ no FUN, unnecessary drama! Duh, hello??? Get that in that skull.

Not answering you anymore because there’s zero use in having a conversation with someone who deadass doesn’t even do fact-checks on my account, the account you choose to keep ragging on 🤷🏾‍♀️😭

It’s clear you wanted a reaction out of me to prove how bad of a person I am, how immature I am, and how useless my account is. You got it, babe! 👍🏾 Now, post it on Reddit snark pages! Or better yet, remake that exposing account and expose me! Make me the main bitch on that account! I’d love the promo. 😘🤷🏾‍♀️

Thank you, but no thank you anon. 😭 Next time you respond to me, you’re gonna say some shit like “See? You’re a baby! A big meanie poopy pants! Tarot is fake! You’re the worst person on this app! I hate you! Grr!! Delete your account!”.

And I’m just gonna send back literal shit in a toilet! 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

[ao3-rex1223]

Chapter 24: Dysrhythmia

Twelfth Floor Intern Masterlist

Pairing: Miles Edgeworth x fem!reader

Summary: You enjoy a nice phone conversation with Miles and discuss a few important things about your future together. Day two of your investigation begins and, as usual, you end up with more questions than answers. Now, that the week has ended, you and your sorority sisters decided to have a girl's night out. Amidst the fun, you notice a familiar face in the bar where you went.

Tags: Power Imbalance, Mentor/Intern, Miles wants you so bad but he's ethical AF now, No use of y/n, depictions of violence, Discussion of Rape, description of murder victims, adult murder victims, child murder victims, Eventual Smut, Happy Ending, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Creampies, Loss of Virginity, Miles is the king of prosecutors but also the king of consent, Fluff and Smut, Romance, Blow Jobs, Nightmare about sexual assault, cross posted on AO3

When you finally make it home after your long day trekking around the convention center, trying to keep your work dress as free of dog hair as possible, you flop on your bed, face freshly washed and pajamas donned. You smile as you open up your contacts list in your phone and scroll through, looking for Miles' entry. You hit 'call' as soon as you find the number you're seeking.

It's only a few rings before he picks up and greets you warmly, "good evening, my love. How are you?"

"Hi, Miles," you return his greeting with a longing sigh. "Oh, I miss you so much."

"I miss you, too. I absolutely hate trying to sleep without you."

"I barely slept at all last night," you admit. "I'd be just about to fall asleep, turn over, reach for you, and hit the wall."

He chuckles. "I essentially had the same problem, reaching over to your side of the bed and finding it completely empty."

You lay yourself on your back in bed. "It's so good to hear your voice."

"Likewise. How was your first taste of defense?"

You hesitate, trying to find the words to describe it. "Interesting."

"Sounds like there's a story there," Miles comments.

"There are several," you reply.

"Tell me."

"Well, first we met our client." You sigh.

"How was that?"

"He…hates me." You reveal.

"He hates you?" He asks, implying he's waiting for you to elaborate.

"He recognized me from the news articles. He said, quote, 'she's the Edgeworth girl; a prosecutor. I'm not talking to her'." You almost laugh at the memory.

You hear Miles sighing into the phone. "I didn't consider that…I'm sorry that my reputation appears to now precede you as well."

"It's alright. He is half correct…I'm just not a prosecutor."

He chuckles. "That's true. You are mine. Did he eventually talk with you?"

"No, but he would talk to Phoenix, so I just observed."

"Observation can still be a valuable learning tool."

"I agree."

"What happened after you spoke with your client?"

"We went to the convention center to interview the witnesses."

"How did that go?"

"Also interesting. I interviewed one of the contestants who also recognized me, but this time it worked to my advantage."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." You try to suppress your laughter only with partial success. "I think she felt a sort of kinship with me. She spoke very openly and even invited me to join the Book Club," you explain, emphasizing the prestigious group of trophy wives.

Miles pauses as if thinking. "The organization of wealthy mens' wives who have too much time on their hands?"

You giggle. "Yup, that one."

"And how does she figure you meet this criteria?" He asks, almost sounding insulted on your behalf.

"Oh, the wife of Miles Edgeworth certainly would fit in amongst the other women of the group," you explain with heavy sarcasm.

"Ah. She's a consumer of the tabloid press, is she?"

"Mhmm."

"I take it you saw the most recent publication of our affair, then."

"Yup. Apparently we're already married. You've seen it, too?"

"Yes, I saw it yesterday."

"So, you're aware, then, that you're LA's most eligible bachelor?"

He chuckles. "What does that make you?"

"Public enemy number one to all of the single women in the city."

Miles laughs again. "With the recognition you're gaining, I expect to acquire a few enemies myself. What else happened today?"

"After the moderately suspicious competitor, we spoke with one of the other judges. He was setting off my alarm bells, too, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it."

"Does he have a motive?"

You ponder the question for a moment. "No. Nothing that I could glean anyway."

"It's certainly too soon to eliminate him as a suspect, but remember, don't-"

You finish his sentence for him, smiling into the phone, "don't get ahead of evidence."

He chuckles again. "That's right."

"I felt like I was able to stay fairly impartial. Phoenix seemed impressed."

"I can't say I'm surprised. Don't let him forget, though, he doesn't get to keep you."

"I've barely tolerated being apart from you for a day. You couldn't pay me to stay there after this case is over."

"You'll be back before you know it."

"I know and I do truly appreciate this experience. It's a chance I didn't think I would get. I looked up to Phoenix for so long and getting to shadow him for a case is like a dream come true. I won't ever be able to thank you enough!"

"You already have."

You smile staring up at the ceiling. "Really? How?"

"Every time you tell me that you love me; every time you let me hold you, lay with you, touch you. You give me everything I've ever wanted. I need no further appreciation."

Tears pool in your eyes. What you wouldn't give to be in his arms now. "Oh, Miles, I love you so much!"

"I love you, too." He sighs. "More than I'll ever be able to say."

"I can't wait to see you again." You sigh longingly. "Oh…" You chuckle. "I uh, met one of your old friends," you reveal delicately.

Miles is silent for a moment then responds, his tone vastly shifted. "Who?"

"Uh, Larry."

Miles replies through gritted teeth, "and was he well behaved?"

"For the most part," you explain vaguely.

"That's not the answer I was looking for. Did he touch you?"

"He didn't, actually. Phoenix protected me."

He grunts. "Thank him for me." He sighs. "Did Larry…find out anything?"

"No. We didn't even bring you up. I figured the less he knows of our connection the better."

"Good point. Larry doesn't know the meaning of the word 'discreet'."

"That's the impression I got."

"Larry is mostly harmless but is frequently very foolish around women," Miles explains.

"I found the whole interaction amusing, to be honest."

"I can imagine. Still, I would prefer he leaves you alone unless I'm with you."

"I might see him again at the convention center, but I know Phoenix will look out for me." You sigh again. "Enough about that. How was your day?"

"Moderately productive. There were some forms to sign to release the evidence from the Hogger trial; remind me to review the process with you when you return to me. I didn't get a new case, so I assisted the other prosecutors with theirs."

"Do you ever go long periods without a case of your own?"

"It's rare, but it happens. All of my associates are assigned to cases at present, so the next one that comes in will be mine."

You pull your blankets over top of you. "Hopefully it's not too challenging for you to handle by yourself," you tease.

"Yes, what will I do without my brilliant intern?"

"According to the tabloids' rumors, I'm your brilliant wife."

Miles chuckles softly, "give it time, it won't be a rumor for long."

"Which part, that I'm brilliant or that I'm your wife?" You ask flirtatiously. There was a time not so long ago when such banter would have struck you with intense fear and worry. That is no longer the case. If you had an officiant, a pair of rings, and a dress, you'd walk out and marry him right now with no hesitation.

"Everyone already knows you're brilliant, my love."

You could absolutely squeal with delight. "You'd have me change my address and my last name wouldn't you?" You ask with feigned surprise.

"I want you to know," he begins with a serious tone, "I truly do value your individuality, but that is something I will ask you to do, yes."

"What if I want to keep my maiden name?" You challenge playfully, already fully intending to change your name. You smirk at the ceiling.

"When a man asks a woman for marriage, he's asking her to begin a new family with him. She may choose to refuse, but should she accept, I firmly believe it is only appropriate to share his name."

"Of course I'll take your name, Miles. I never doubted it."

"You do love to toy with me."

You giggle. "I really do."

"It's one of the things I love about you. But thank you. It is something that's very important to me. Plus, the title 'Mrs. Edgeworth' will suit you perfectly."

You fiddle with a strand of your hair. "Well, there's still a more important question you have to ask first."

"Believe me, I'm dying to ask, but I will at least inform your father and of course you must complete your internship first."

"What if my dad says 'no'?"

"I didn't say I would ask for permission, did I?"

You grin widely. "No."

"I will show him respect; he's your father, but I will not delay our engagement because of his objections. You have deemed me worthy of you; that's all that truly matters to me."

Butterflies flap around in your stomach. It feels so right to hear him talk about marrying you, as though that's where you've been headed all along. You let out a content sigh. "You're making me wish my internship was over."

"Oh, come now, you still have a lot to learn. I promised to give you a prolific experience this summer and I'll see that through before I make you my wife."

'My wife', you repeat internally to yourself, feeling your heart jump at the idea. Warm tingles dance through you. "Still don't want to wait."

"Don't worry. I won't wait long once all of our obstacles have been removed."

Your stomach starts to flip a bit when you realize there's one thing that hasn't come up between you yet, something that absolutely needs to be decided before you plan to get married. You decide not to dance around it and blurt it out instead. "How do you feel about having kids?" You honestly have no idea where he stands. If he says no, it might be a deal breaker for you. You grind your lip between your teeth awaiting his answer.

"I hadn't ever given much thought to it before you, but yes, I would like to, if you do as well."

You relax again and grin. "It's always been a dream of mine," you confess.

"Then we will. How many would you want?"

You turn on your side, still smiling happily. "I don't know. At least two…maybe more. What about you?"

"I have no set number in my mind. I believe I'll be happy with what you want."

You sigh contently. It's almost too much to resist bolting from your sorority house right now and running to Miles' place…home.

Your conversation lightens, but neither of you can bring yourselves to hang up. You know it's getting late when Nora strolls in. She waves, silently greeting you after noticing you're on the phone.

Another hour goes by. "It's after midnight, my dear," Miles says.

"I know," you reply, quietly, as Nora is just slipping into bed. "I suppose I should at least pretend to sleep."

"This is certainly the worst part of the day now."

"Yeah." You take a deep breath and exhale. "I'll call you tomorrow," you vow, clinging to the one thing that you two can share now that you have to take your promise of remaining discreet more seriously.

"Until then. I love you," Miles replies. "Good night."

"Good night, Miles. I love you, too." You hang up the call and plug your phone into the charger.

"Well, you guys are sickeningly sweet," Nora comments, because of course she has to.

"Thank you," you answer, choosing to be purposely oppositional.

She giggles. "Boy, 'I love you' sure came quick."

"To you maybe," you answer, still grinning like an idiot at the ceiling. You believe you and Miles said it right at the perfect time.

"Thinking about sneaking out our window?" Nora teases.

Yes. "Of course not." You turn the light on your nightstand off and roll over. Sleep finds you a bit easier this time although it's still much harder than when you're tucked into Miles' arms. Your subconscious blesses you with a brief dream of him.

The next morning, you, Phoenix, and Maya make your way to the victim's home to speak with his wife and children. Their home is a beautiful French manor with a fountain in the front yard.

"Wow! Can you imagine living at a place like this!?" Maya asks, staring in awe at the massive house.

"Yeah. I'd never want to leave home!" Phoenix replies.

"You'd have everything you'll ever need here!" You add.

"Bet you could live here for a year and still get lost," Maya quips.

"Yeah, no kidding," you reply.

"I 'spose we better go see if Mrs. Goddard is in," Phoenix says and starts for the front door. You and Maya follow.

A young man wearing a gray suit answers the door.

"Hi. Uh, we're looking for Mrs. Goddard," Phoenix announces.

"Your names and purpose please?" The man asks cordially. You start to assume he's a butler.

Phoenix answers with everyone's names. "We're part of the defense team for Dr. Wyatt Thompson. We were hoping to speak with Mrs. Goddard about her husband."

"Follow me," the man says. He holds the door open for the three of you and leads you through the foyer. "My name is Quinn, by the way. I manage the home for the Goddard family."

"Wow, is that like a butler? Maya asks.

"You could look at it that way, yes," Quinn answers. He brings you to a small living room, likely one of many.

Maya whispers to Phoenix, still loud enough for you to hear, "I thought butlers were all old guys."

"Maya!" Phoenix whispers back sharply.

The kind man announces the three of you to an obviously grieving woman sitting on a couch next to the show judge, Eddie. You're a bit surprised to see him there, but then remember he did say he was a friend of the victim.

Eddie, however, looks nervous as soon as he spots you three. "Oh…uh…Mr. Wright. What a nice surprise. I was just checking on Diana and the kids."

Diana turns to look at her three new guests. Her face is red and drenched in tears. Her hair is a mess and she's dressed in sweats. Given what you've heard from Mrs. Zucker about the great Book Club members, you suspect this is an unusual state for Mrs. Goddard. "What can I do for you?" The widow asks, her voice rough and flat.

Phoenix gently nudges your shoulder, cuing you to take over. "Mr. Wright is the defense attorney for Dr. Thompson and I'm an intern working with him," you begin and follow up with your full name. "We were hoping you could tell us about your husband."

"I should get to the convention center," Eddie chimes in and quickly jumps up to leave. He turns to Diana. "Please, don't hesitate to contact me if you or the children need me."

"Thank you, Ed," Diana replies and the twitchy judge makes a quick exit. Diana gestures for the three of you to sit.

After finding a seat, you begin your interview. "I'm very sorry for your loss, Mrs. Goddard."

"Thank you," she replies, as if on autopilot. You can't imagine how many condolences with widely varying levels of sincerity have been lobbed at her in the last two days.

"What can you tell us about your husband?" You ask.

"He's an energetic man. He works a lot and is away from home for up to a week sometimes." She sniffles as more tears start to fall from her eyes. "I miss him so much!" She breaks down and wails with sorrow.

These interviews are the worst. "Mrs. Goddard, did Mr. Goddard have a heart condition?" You ask.

Diana wipes her chapped face of the fresh tears. "Yes, he had a problem with his heart rhythm, but he's been taking medication for it for years. The last time he was at the doctor, they said he was stable!"

"Can you tell me what he was taking?" You plan to ask whichever medical examiner happens to complete the autopsy if perhaps the patient had stopped taking the medication or maybe had taken too much.

"It's called digoxin," Diana answers.

You quickly write down the name on your notepad and return to your questions. You quietly take a deep breath. "Is there any chance Mr. Goddard might have intentionally taken his own life?"

Diana shakes her head. "There's no way he would have done that. Bill loves life. He always has! He's a very happy man."

"Do you know of anyone who would have wanted to hurt him?"

She inhales sharply, trying to keep herself together. "No." She sobs. "I…know Bill isn't always…a perfect husband…" her voice and body tremble in kind. "I found out about the other women…but I forgave him. I wanted to save our marriage for our kids."

"How old are your children?" You ask.

"Fourteen and twelve."

"Would it be okay if we talk to them?" You ask.

Diana considers your request for a moment. "I'd prefer you didn't. I just feel like they've been through enough and I doubt they'll tell you anything that will help your case anyway."

"I understand," you reply and decide not to press the issue. Plus, it's not as though you have any legal grounds to insist it. "Is there anything else you can tell us? Even the smallest detail will be helpful."

"I'm sorry, I can't think of anything, but I'm not exactly at my best," Diana answers.

You nod. "I understand. Please call us if you think of anything else."

"I will," she agrees.

You, Phoenix, and Maya see yourselves out of the grand mansion. Phoenix turns to you as you walk toward the nearest bus stop. "Excellent work. It's never easy talking to the victims' loved ones," Phoenix praises.

"No, it's not. In fact, I think it's the worst part," you reply with a half frown. "But thank you."

"What do your instincts tell you about this witness?"

"She seems genuinely distraught. I don't want to eliminate her as a possible suspect, but I'll admit she is low on my list. Eddie Kirsh is still piquing my interest, too. He seemed…uneasy once we showed up."

Phoenix chuckles slightly. "Boy, you really do think like a prosecutor. You sound just like Miles."

You blush slightly and let out a soft laugh. "Is that a bad thing?"

"Well, not so bad, but remember, our job is to prove our client's innocence, not necessarily to find the culprit, although that's icing on the cake if we do. Our goal is to find the 'reasonable doubt' and free an innocent man."

Now that you think about it, you can genuinely say you feel at least that much. There's really no motive for Dr. Thompson. Sure, they argued, but it's not like it was over anything monumental or a common trigger for murder. There's still a big missing piece though. "Phoenix, I think we need to see what the autopsy has shown."

"Great idea! Let's visit the morgue."

Maya groans. "Can't we go back to the dog show instead?"

"C'mon, Maya, we're on a case. We have to find out how the victim died," Phoenix explains.

"Ugh, okay."

The three of you hop on the bus, bound for the morgue. You wonder which medical examiner will be on duty today. Please don't be Dr. Anderson! Please don't be Dr. Anderson! Please don't be Dr. Anderson!

Thankfully, it's Dr. Ross. Of course, she hugs you when you walk through the door to her office, which, much to Maya's relief, does not include an autopsy table. "I was hoping I'd see you again!" She happily says. "Where's Miles?"

"I'm shadowing Phoenix for a case to get some experience with criminal defense. Miles set it up for me actually."

"Ah," she answers simply, thinking the other two people with you aren't privy to the true nature of your relationship with Miles. It's not appropriate to discuss it anyway, so you change the subject.

"I was wondering if you could tell us about the autopsy for Bill Goddard."

"Sure thing, dear." She returns to her desk and retrieves a file to give you the report. "Cause of death was cardiac arrest due to a digoxin overdose."

Your jaw hits the floor. You recognize the name of the drug as the same one described to you by the victim's wife. Perhaps she's not so innocent after all, you think to yourself. "Dr. Ross, what does that drug do?"

"It's for dysrhythmias or when the heart doesn't beat in a regular rhythm. It's very effective but unfortunately it has a very narrow therapeutic window which means it's very easy to have too little or, in Mr. Goddard's case, too much."

"So, it could have been an accident?"

"I doubt this much was an accident. I found a lot of the drug in his system and according to his doctor, he had been taking it a long time. Years. My guess is it was intentional, either on his part or someone else's."

You turn to Phoenix. "It had to be someone who was both aware of his condition and the potency of that drug."

"That's what I was thinking, too."

"Would Watt even know about it?" Maya asks, rubbing her jaw.

"I don't think so," you answer, "they hadn't been in contact for years."

"He probably had no idea," Phoenix adds.

"What if someone took his pills, mixed them with food or a drink and poisoned him?" You theorize.

Phoenix taps his chin. "That would seem the most likely."

You lean your jaw on your knuckles. "So, now the next question is: where is the murder weapon? We need to find those pills. Phoenix, can we get a hold of Mrs. Goddard?"

"I've got her phone number back at my office," Phoenix replies.

"I've actually got it here," Dr. Ross chimes in. She hands you a piece of paper with Bill's demographic information, including his home phone number.

You dial the number on your phone and reach Mrs. Goddard after several rings. You provide your name and remind her you're working with the defense team. "Mrs. Goddard, do you have the bottle of pills with Mr. Goddard's medication?"

Diana still sounds as though she's battling grief. "I think so. I'll go look." The line is quiet for some time while she walks to wherever the pills are. Eventually, you hear a slight gasp. "They're gone," she announces.

"They're missing!?" You reply.

"Well, I guess he might have brought them to the dog show. Sometimes he leaves so early, he's out the door before his dose is due."

"What time did he leave the morning he died?"

"It must have been five in the morning at the latest. He was already gone when I got up around then."

"Thank you, Mrs. Goddard." You end the call and turn back to Phoenix. "We need to go back to the convention center and look for the pills!"

"Good idea!" Phoenix agrees and with that, you all return to the convention center.

You find Detective Gumshoe quickly to ask, "have you found any prescription medication?"

Gumshoe rubs his chin. "We did find a bottle of something with the victim's name on it. I don't remember-"

"Digoxin?" You ask, hoping it will trigger his memory.

"Yeah! That was it!" He exclaims happily.

"Can we look at it?"

Gumshoe thinks for a moment. "Uh, sure. Normally, I'd have to say no, but Mr. Edgeworth told us to give you every cooperation."

You suppress a smirk. Of course he did. "Thank you, Detective," you reply and give him your sweetest smile.

"Anything for you, little lady!" Gumshoe grins back and leads you to where they've collected evidence. "We've already dusted it for prints, but make sure you wear gloves anyway."

"Sure." You reach into the glove box sitting next to the evidence and don a pair of latex gloves.

"What are you trying to find?" Gumshoe asks curiously.

"I was thinking," you begin while gingerly pouring the pills out onto a clean surface to count the pills, "if we can figure out the number of pills left and subtract that from the amount the bottle started with and factor in how many pills should be missing considering he took it once a day…" you trail off and count each pill.

"Boy, once she gets started, she's like a well oiled machine," Gumshoe comments to Phoenix and Maya.

"She sure is! It's been great having her! I've barely had to do much teaching!" Phoenix replies. "She would make an excellent defense attorney."

Gumshoe lets out a belly laugh. "Don't let Mr. Edgeworth hear you say that! He's setting her up to be a prosecutor."

"She is a lot like him," Phoenix adds.

Gumshoe chuckles. "She really is! Sometimes when I see her in court next to Mr. Edgeworth, I swear those two are so in sync, I could almost believe they were together!"

"That's cause Mr. Edgeworth-" Maya is cut off as you finish your analysis.

"We've got a problem," you announce, staring at the pile of pills and the label on the bottle.

"What's up?" Phoenix asks.

You cock your head trying to solve the puzzle in front of you. "There aren't any pills missing."

"Isn't that good?" Gumshoe asks.

You turn your head up toward the detective with a concerned expression. "Not if this was supposed to be our murder weapon. Now, I don't know where the Digoxin that killed Bill Goddard came from." You lean over the table, at a loss for what to think. You try your best to channel your father. What would Dad do next, you ask yourself. Think. I know that the drug is what killed the victim. I know that he regularly took the drug because it was prescribed to him. He wouldn't have intentionally taken too much, but someone could have poisoned him. Okay, how would they have poisoned him? Food or drink is the most likely.

I also know that there aren't any pills missing from the bottle. It's been ten days since his last refill and ten pills are missing. So, the drug must have come from somewhere else. Perhaps he had a previous bottle that went missing. That would mean the killer must have had access to the medication at least ten days ago. That could easily be a clue that points to the wife or their children. The wife might have wanted revenge for her husband cheating or perhaps the children wanted revenge for their mother. Hm. How likely is it that children their age would know to overdose him on a medication as risky as that? How long…wait! How long does it take a person to die from an overdose from that drug!? "Phoenix!" You call your temporary mentor. "There's something we haven't figured out yet!"

He looks back at you. "What is it?"

"We haven't figured out when the victim would have been poisoned. We know when he died, but not when the drug was ingested."

"Hey, that's brilliant!" Phoenix compliments. "Let's give that medical examiner a call!"

You eagerly pull out your phone and call the morgue, eventually getting connected to Dr. Ross. "Hello again!" She greets.

"Hi, Dr. Ross. I was wondering, how long would you say it took for that drug to kill our victim?"

"With how much I found in his system, probably about six hours, give or take."

"Thank you!"

"Any time!"

You end the call and repeat the answer for Phoenix and Maya.

"So, he was likely poisoned here." Phoenix taps his chin. "Detective Gumshoe, did you find any other bottles of this stuff?"

"Not yet, but we're still searching the premises."

"What about garbage? Did you search for discarded evidence?" You ask.

"Just some paper plates and a few disposable cups," Gumshoe answers.

"I think it would be a good idea to check them for residual drugs," you instruct. "Food or drinks might have been how he was poisoned."

"Yes, ma'am!"

"I'm not a hundred percent sure you'll find something, but without any indication that pills were taken from this prescription bottle, I'm grasping at straws."

"It'll be worth checking out anyway," Gumshoe replies.

"What about background checks? It could be worth checking out the other possible suspects," Phoenix adds.

"Which ones would you want?" Gumshoe asks.

Phoenix turns to you. "Which ones do you think we should check?" He quizzes.

You confidently answer, "I'd like to know about Georgianna Zucker, Eddie Kirsh, and Diana Goddard."

Phoenix smiles proudly. "I agree!"

"You got it!" Gumshoe confirms.

You finish your day interviewing other contestants without much success. Most reiterate the argument heard between Dr. Thompson and the victim, but there isn't much else you get from them.

When your day finally ends, you return to the sorority house and call Miles.

"How was today?" He asks.

"The case is getting stranger. We're pretty sure the victim overdosed on a prescription medication he was on, but when we checked the bottle, there wasn't any missing."

"Could there be another bottle unaccounted for?"

"That's what I thought, too, but we haven't been able to find one."

"It had to come from somewhere. Keep exploring every avenue until something turns up."

You lie back on your bed, feet dangling off the side. "I'm trying. I just hope I'm hitting the right avenue."

"As long as you use logic and reasoning, you'll figure it out."

"And have Gumshoe's uninhibited cooperation," you chuckle, "thank you for that, by the way."

"You're welcome. I'm glad he listened."

"You spoil me, you know," you add, playfully.

"Get used to it. If you think I'll be less doting when I'm your husband, you're mistaken."

"Don't turn me into a trophy wife," you reply with a chuckle.

"Of course I won't. I despise trophies. I'll simply be giving you the life you deserve."

"I'm not joining the Book Club."

"You'll get no argument from me. I would certainly prefer you don't."

"I'm never going to be one of those women."

"I never want you to be. Believe me, if I wanted a wife who only desires me because she wants a lavish lifestyle, I'd be married already. There's plenty of them."

"I'll be happy to just wake up next to you every day."

"So will I."

Nora walks into the room and gestures for you to join her in the outing you've planned with your fellow sorority sisters. "Miles, I have to get going. I'm going out with some of the girls from my sorority."

"Sounds good. You deserve some fun. Please be safe. Will you call me when you get in?"

"Sure. I won't be out late. I love you."

"I love you, too."

You end your call and hop up off your bed to join Nora and the other girls. Six of you decide to go for your girls' night out; all of the second years. Derek's Lounge is the chosen venue for the evening since it's close to campus and within walking distance, although Miles would still disapprove of you making the trip alone. Thankfully, you're with five other girls. Amongst the law students, it's the preferred spot for a "bar review". It's nicer than the usual dive bars around the university, but not too fancy for you and your classmates.

You all walk into the comfortably quiet lounge and spot a table large enough for all six girls. Thanks to your time with Miles and now Phoenix, you've developed a habit of surveying the entirety of whatever room into which you're walking. You almost laugh at yourself but allow your curious eyes to scan the bar. The majority of the patrons sit contently and chat in an overall low volume. There's only a few pairs of customers sitting at the bar but you notice one woman sitting alone. She's dressed in a lovely black dress, not anomalous compared to the others around her but she definitely stands out, slightly. You see her turn her head in your direction; you assume she's glancing at the entrance behind you. Oh my gosh, is that Dr. Anderson?! Your eyes turn away but surreptitiously watch her out of the corners as you continue heading for the table. You're almost certain it's her. She looks quite lovely, makeup absolutely flawless as usual. She's perfected the smokey eye, something you've never been able to accomplish even with mediocrity. Her beautiful blonde hair lays in soft curls over one shoulder. She must be waiting for a date or something.

You take your seat next to Nora and spare Dr. Anderson your curious stare, determined to enjoy your relaxing evening out with your girlfriends. The other four girls joining you, Alicia, Erin, Danielle, and Rose all pile in around the table. A waitress swings by and takes your drink orders as you all nibble on the bounty of peanuts in a large dish at the center of the table.

You take a sip of your refreshing hard cider after the waitress fills your drink orders and listen to the conversation around you. The beautiful blonde still sitting unaccompanied at the bar really does look like Dr. Anderson. You're more and more convinced it's her as the minutes tick by, wondering what on earth she'd be doing here by herself.

"I'm just saying, A Perfect Circle did a way better job with 'The Nurse Who Loved Me' than Failure," Danielle argues.

Erin narrows her eyes at the short brunette next to her. "Are you nuts? That song was written by Ken Andrews and Greg Edwards. How can you possibly say the cover is better? The cover wouldn't even exist without the original."

"Their vocals are far superior and who says a cover can't be better? Just because a band wrote a song doesn't mean someone else can't improve it!" Danielle fires back.

"Yeah, okay, sure. Why don't we just let Jackson Pollock repaint the Sistine Chapel? Or let Edgar Allen Poe rewrite Hamlet?"

Both girls look at each other in silence then burst out laughing. Erin adds, "okay, maybe Edgar Allen Poe rewriting Hamlet would be amazing."

"The more I think about it, the more I kinda want it," Danielle replies between chuckles.

"Somehow the guy from Telltale Heart seems like he could really jive with Hamlet," Erin adds. They giggle together until one of the other girls changes topics.

"So how's everyone's internships going?" Alicia asks.

"I am bored to tears in mine," Nora admits. "I told myself I would try to find something fun about tax law, but no. There's nothing exciting."

"That should be useful next time you have to do your taxes, though," Rose, the ever practical comments.

Nora lets her eyes roll back into her head and pretends to snore. "But it's so boring!"

"I'm really enjoying mine!" Alicia announces. "I didn't think I would like contract law, but I actually think that might be what I want to do when I graduate."

"I've been doing medical malpractice and I have seen some shit! I wish privacy laws weren't a thing 'cause I would write a book!" Erin says. She pauses and smiles as she glances around the table. "And I think I've found my calling there."

"I hate personal injury," Danielle complains with a whine. "It feels so…dirty."

"I'm finding immigration really amazing," Rose says. "I really feel fulfilled helping people get their citizenship!" She grins happily.

There's a bit more chatter and eventually everyone looks at you, who's been rather quiet this whole conversation.

"What about you?" Alicia says, looking directly at you with a kind smile. "How's prosecution?"

Your stomach turns. You know they're going to ask questions you don't want to answer, eventually. "I love it! I think that's what I'm going to do."

"Really?" Erin asks. "I figured Edgeworth would take all the fun out of it."

"Not at all," you correct, "he makes it really interesting, actually."

Danielle's eyes narrow and she smirks. "So, are any of the rumors true then?"

"About all my guilty verdicts? Yup!" You playfully try to avoid the real question.

"Oh, come on. Don't pretend you haven't heard," Erin chimes in. "Everyone at the house knows you were staying with him. You're going to tell us nothing happened the whole time?"

"God, I know I wouldn't be able to keep my hands to myself," Alicia comments with a smirk and takes a swig of her drink. "In a house, all alone with Miles Edgeworth? I'd at least take my shot."

You blush and bite your lip. Nora jumps in to help you. "Come on, guys she gets enough of that from the tabloids! Lay off!"

The girls all grumble but ultimately listen to Nora and return to talking about other things.

You relax and turn to Nora, subtly mouthing 'thank you'. Nora smiles and winks. You glance again over at the woman sitting alone at the bar. That really looks like her. "Hey guys, I'll be right back. I'm gonna grab another hard cider."

Every girl chimes in asking for you to order one for her, too. You chuckle and agree. You reach the bar and strategically sit one stool away from the woman while you wait to get the bartender's attention. You act like you've just noticed her. "Dr. Anderson? Is that you?"

The woman looks at you with sharp eyes and pursed lips. Yup, definitely her. She lets out an annoyed sigh. "Oh, it's you. What do you want?" She rolls her eyes as she returns her glare elsewhere and takes another sip of her drink.

"I was just getting some drinks for me and my friends," you answer kindly and gesture to the table with your sorority house sisters. "You look amazing! Are you here with a date or something?"

She scoffs. "Sort of." She turns her head away from you and mumbles, "waiting for him to show up."

She got stood up. Surprisingly, you feel bad for her. "Oh, I-" you're cut off by the bartender.

"What can I get ya?" The bartender asks.

"Uh," you begin and look back at the group of girls waiting. "Can I get…six hard ciders over at that table there?" You point to the spot.

"Sure thing." He heads to the other end of the bar.

You turn back to Dr. Anderson. "How long have you been waiting?"

"What do you care, princess? Just leave me alone." She rests her cheek on her palm and stares at the shelves of liquor behind the bar.

You start to turn and walk away, wanting to give up, but you stop yourself. You turn back, step next to her, and place your hands on hers. "Dr. Anderson, you are way too smart and beautiful to even wait five minutes after your date is supposed to show up."

Her rough, owly expression fades and you see a sad look in her eyes. She drops her gaze to the bar. She is really a very beautiful woman and doesn't deserve to be treated so disrespectfully. "Thanks," she mutters under her breath.

"Hey, come join us. We're having a girls' night. You look like you could use one," you offer kindly with a smile.

She sighs quietly. "Look, I don't think-" she is interrupted by you pulling her off the bar stool.

"Wasn't asking! C'mon!" You declare and tug her toward your table of happy, giggling girlfriends only pausing briefly so she can grab her drink.

"...'Pictures' by the Statler Brothers, nineteen seventy-one," Erin says, ostensibly answering a trivia question from Danielle. She relaxes in her chair sporting a confident smirk. "Babe, challenge me!"

"Ladies, this is Dr. Anderson, one of my coworkers. She's in need of some quality girl time. Please make her feel welcome."

She lets out a genuine smile and visibly relaxes. "Sarah," she corrects and sits down to join you.

"Sarah, you look way too hot to be sitting with a bunch of boring law nerds," Nora comments. "Dressed to the nines like that there should be guys all over you!"

"Yeah, well, I'd have been happy with just one and he didn't show up," Sarah admits with a frown.

Nora's mouth drops open and her eyebrows sink, offended on Sarah's behalf. "What an asshole!" She places a hand on Sarah's shoulder. "I am so sorry. You can hang out with us as long as you want, honey!"

Sarah chuckles and awkwardly replies, "thanks."

You smile, relieved that your friends are being so accepting of a stranger.

"Okay, ladies!" Alicia begins, calling for everyone's attention. She produces a deck of cards from her pocket. "Who's up for holdem?"

You, Nora, Erin, Danielle, and Sarah all agree to play. Rose decides to enjoy her drink and watch.

"We don't have much cash though…and I don't really feel like gambling it away," you say.

"Easy," Alicia replies. "We'll just use what we've got as lowly grads…" She dumps the bowl of peanuts on the table and starts dividing them. "Peanuts!" The crowd of girls chuckles. She starts dealing the cards.

"Never pegged you for a poker player," Sarah playfully teases you. You chuckle.

"Oh, she's terrible. She'll be busted out before you finish your vodka soda," Nora says, revealing your terrible poker game to your hopefully now ex-archenemy.

Nora's right, however. You lose every hand and all your peanuts in just a few rounds. Sarah, to your surprise, puts every one of your sorority sisters to shame.

Nora looks at Sarah in disbelief right after busting out from a showdown with the lovely young doctor. "Good God, Sarah, your poker face is some next level shit."

"I work with dead people all day. There's no better inspiration for a good poker face than them." She pulls her snack winnings back to her pile and proudly pops a few into her mouth.

You smile contently, happy you were able to make Sarah's night a little more enjoyable. Your sorority sisters and Sarah all relish in the rare but much needed reprieve from the seemingly endless chaos of the summer.

[erynisdreaming]

hey guys.

eryn pendragon here.

little penny not boy not girl over here wants to introduce you all to how their luck works by telling a story.

okay, it is december 15, 2023. i just left from work and decided to stop by the mall just to walk around, check some books, anything to take my head off the stress of my daily life. i had visited one of my aunties at the hospital some days ago, and me and my family had a very uncomfortable talk about her last days. you know... making a big christmas party so she could enjoy her last one. dark af, so... i was stressed OUT.

i go down from the bus, and i go into the mall without looking back. i go to the place where i get my onigiri to... get a onigiri, and i begin to walk around while eating it. wonderful.

in my walking and chewing session i see one of those claw machines, you know, the ones with plushies? and i change my path straight towards it.

i carefully analysed the plushie disposition inside the machine; and my eyes did not deceive me. there it was. a weird ass frog plushie, right on the edge of victory; seems like somebody else's disappointment was about to become my glory.

i hastily finish my onigiri (i regret it, good food needs to be savored), and i use my credit card (i was shocked to know that these actually accept cards 0_0) and i get the frog in my first try. well. i was SO happy.

grown ass person with frog in hands, time to walk around a little more. i check my phone, and i see that it's getting later than usual for me to be out, so... i head to the exit. in one of the exits to that specific mall, there are more claw machines; two to be exact... and one of them had a Chainsaw Man plushie.

Don't question me on the legal part. I'm pretty sure it shouldn't be there.

but i went for it, too. would my greed swallow me whole, or was i still engulfed by the same luck that graced me with a frog?

luck it was! chainsaw boy and weird frog go in the backpack, and i rush home, really happy. and then it hits. Dude. This is the first lucky day in a whole year. What is going to happen?

as a result, i got really anxious at the bus. after i finally got out of the second bus, i begin to run home. i stop at a drink store to get some beer for me and mom (legal drinking age in Brazil is 18!), and from there it wasn't too long before i was home.

to make her a surprise, i knock loudly on the door and i scream something along the lines of... "MOOOOOOM!!!!"

no answer.

i do it again.

no answer, again.

i do it a third time, despite feeling like i shouldn't, and i just hear my father scream something from the inside... a little angrily... Damn. Something happened.

i rush into my house just to see my mother crying at the living room; she doesn't cry often, so, whenever she DOES cry i immediately panic; and this time i felt like i knew what happened.

yeah. turns out my auntie, the same one i saw at the hospital some days ago, that the family was discussing the last christmas, had passed away. same day i got two plushies from the claw machine. which honestly made me begin to question my own sanity. like, someone must be having a lot of fun watching my life for shit like this to happen.

not much else to say, but... it SUCKED. i was staring up at the ceiling for SO long. it was the first time death took someone when i was old enough to understand. and i wish i didn't understand.

it breaks my heart to think she didn't get to enjoy christmas with us that year. i miss her a lot, and i didn't even get to grieve that much for... Other reasons, that I'll get into later.

thanks for reading this wall of text, ill be posting some... happier stories later!

[fuckyeahpedropascal]

Pedro boys smoker matrix

Friendly discussion and even fiery debate welcome as always! 🔥

I'm back! In true Cee fashion, this idea attacked me from nowhere and I couldn't stop until I was done. This was so much fun to put together, and I have many thoughts to share under the cut.

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Chain smoker

Javier

The OG who makes these sucking on these cancer sticks look sexy AF, he is the only one out of the Pedro boys who deserves this accolade. Whether he's lighting up, talking around a cigarette, staring into space smoking on one - it doesn't matter what he's doing with it, he sells it.

Stress smoker

Tim Rockford, Dave York, Marcus Pike, Maxwell Lord

I wanted to put Tim in the chain smoker category, I'm convinced this stressed detective easily smokes a pack a day, but since we weren't treated to any evidence of his smoking habits, I decided to put him in this one instead. The others are pretty self-explanatory given the nature of their jobs, but can I just say - I would kill for a glimpse of Dave York smoking.

Social smoker

The Thief, Max Phillips, Nico, SNL Charlie

You know these guys wouldn't miss the chance to schmooze, especially over a cigarette.

Weed only

Dieter Bravo, Ezra, Oberyn Martell, Javi Gutierrez

I mean, if they had weed in Westeros, Oberyn would be all over it, it fits right in with his lifestyle. Both Dieter and Javi do recreational drugs in the movies, and Ezra? He gives the vibes that he grows his own weed.

Quit after kids

SNL Meemaw, Joel Miller, Frankie Morales, Jack Daniels

Don't @ me, Jack didn't lose his baby and his wife, he had two more kids and is living happily ever after 😭 We saw Joel's reaction to Tommy smoking, and I like to think that Frankie quit smoking and drugs after his baby arrived. And you just know that Meemaw used to smoke cos she's badass.

Never smoked

Din Djarin, Pero Tovar, Edward, Ricky Hauk

Din for obvious reasons of his religion, and Pero because I did some *research* and the movie is set in the early 11th century, which is before tobacco was introduced to Spain or China. But I just know that Pero would be a chain smoker in another life. It's so much fun including the two baby P's in this compilation - I've never watched Buffy or Touched by an Angel, but you can't convince me these two literal angels have ever touched a cigarette.

[tarabyte3]

No question, just wanted you to know that you're lovely and talented and I hope you're doing ok (hopefull better than ok, you deserve it). ❤️

This is so fucking sweet and I appreciate it so much that every time I look at it, I start crying. Thank you for checking up on me 💖😭 I am struggling to find words to express how much it means to me.

So I am going to use this answer to post an update for everyone.

Short answer: I'm not doing great.

BUT I believe that anyone who is able and willing to share their mental health journey should. Both to normalize the struggle AND so that anyone else quietly going through the same thing doesn't feel so alone or as though it's their fault. Because it isn't our fault! We don't deserve this, and it's cruel our own brains tell us we do.

Also getting it out is just therapeutic sometimes!

Therefore the long answer under the cut.

CW: discussion of mental health and depression

I want to preface this with: I'm safe. I have no intrusive or physically harmful thoughts. 💖

But I'm really struggling. I feel like shit most of the time. Mentally, emotionally, and physically.

The winter blues have me in a chokehold and are preventing me from doing things that I enjoy doing to help me feel better.

When you're depressed, it can be difficult to do basic tasks. It can feel impossible to do things like self-care, exercise, or to work on creative projects.

I thrive on creative projects. I need enrichment in my enclosure!! When I don't have them or can't do them, it makes me feel actively worse.

I haven't been able to work on my fic because right now my brain is an undercooked scrambled egg in a mesh colander. I get about 100 words out (I'm at ~2.5k words for this next chapter, which is about half done, I would guess) and then I just stare blankly at my screen. Which sucks because I have the vision for what I want to write in my head (😏), but no way to get it to come out of my brain.

(Side note: thank god for gif making and Andy content because it's the one thread keeping me from bolting into the woods, never to return)

I also have a few home decor, painting, and craft projects I could work on, but I lack motivation due to depression.

It's just an ouroboros of "depressed so I can't be creative" and "need to be creative so I'm not depressed." 🙃

We're getting wave after wave of winter weather here (right now we're in a massive ice storm), which is keeping me indoors. Being cooped up is rough on me. I need to be active. I'm just a complicated houseplant—probably a calathea as we are both drama queens.

I'm also finding it difficult to exercise due to: you guessed it! The sads. My beloved rowing machine, stationary bike, treadmill, and yoga mat sit neglected.

I am also eating far too much bread. Which, while immediately satisfying, is unfortunately not a long term solution because it's actively contributing to me feeling worse 😂

I reached out to try and find a personal trainer to help with the lack of motivation, get me out of the house, have a routine, AND get some workout endorphins to kickstart my healthy habits back into gear, but I haven't heard a single thing back from any of them. Which is disheartening.

Especially since another fun symptom of depression is feeling completely fucking alone and ignored. Which is rude AF, btw.

I'm going to keep making Andy gifs and crossing my fingers that the weather lets up so I can leave the house. Maybe go to some thrift and antique stores or a plant store. That always makes me feel better!

So other than some far more personal struggles with having a chronically ill teenager, there you have it!

I appreciate all of you for helping keep me sane and connected, even though I haven't been logging on as much as I had been due to being too busy staring at a wall and contemplating whether or not I should eat more bread. (I should NOT. …or should I?)

Truly. Thank you. 💕🥹🥺

[blackhannetandco]

Ok so this post was getting super long but I still have things to say thanks to @calicojackofficial's tags on it so here is part 2 of steddy hands oblivious seduction circle.

Here are the tags, which reference Izzy giving Stede a glove the way we are assuming Ed gave Izzy The Ring and Stede gave Ed The Cravat:

Ok first of all love that pretty much everyone knows what it means that Stede insists on wearing the glove except for Izzy. Like even Stede realizes, and Stede has never met a non-fear emotion he couldn't pack away and ignore. What's extra funny is that somehow I think if The Token was something more subtle, like the ring or the cravat, Izzy might sort of catch on? Because that's what he's used to, he comes from the world of subtext so he's more adept at reading homoerotic tones than he is at reading full on gay vibes, at least when they're directed at him. Stede wearing the glove is so in your face that he automatically dismisses it/underestimates the meaning. He honestly kind of assumes Stede is trying to make it part of his Gentleman Pirate Aesthetic, and as someone who commits to his own Aesthetic pretty damn hard, he can respect that, even if he does think it's stupid af that Stede refuses to commit enough to stop complaining lol.

Second of all, YES especially Ed. Ed, who knows what the cravat means to him. Ed, who didn't know the ring's significance for like two decades but has finally caught on because he now has his own token that he acknowledges he cherishes with his life. (I am always going feral over Ed realizing Izzy loves him and that he loves Izzy directly because he fell in love with Stede and in the process learned how to be vulnerable with himself.) So Ed Knows and like, he thinks Stede might know? Stede can be incredibly oblivious so he's not sure but then he catches Stede just like, absent-mindedly rubbing his leather clad palm with his thumb, smiling to himself and staring off into the distance (because we must always have a Moment where Stede looks like a Romantic Hero). And Ed is like, "Oh yeah he knows," but figures maybe he should let Stede come to him about it. Two days later he's climbing the walls with impatience and basically ambushes Stede with a feelings talk. Stede is both a little scared and very proud (and yes, horny but that's a given).

It still takes forever for them to approach Izzy because both of them used all their emotional intelligence to talk with each other and forgot that Izzy is also dense as hell. Possibly denser, who knows.

Third and last of all. I am. Enamored with the final scene presented in these tags. Ed pulls off his cravat and lays it out, completely spread on the desk or whatever. Izzy doesn't think twice about taking off his own cravat, but he ties it up with his ring again after it's off and lays the little bundle on top of Ed's cravat. And then Stede comes up beside him and pulls off his glove finger by finger (accidental sensual slut Bonnet strikes again) and puts it on top of Izzy's bundle and Boom. Izzy suddenly gets it. This is like. Serious. This is not just the three of them liking each other enough to have some fun times. This has Emotion written all over it, which Izzy is actually allergic to. But he very manfully does not run away because that would just invite Questions and Talking. Stede and Ed once again overestimate Izzy's ability to handle feelings so they think he's as on board the relationship train as they are, and that he has been since they approached him. Izzy meanwhile is going through such a huge crisis it feels like 5 different crises.

Anyway even through all this they still manage to start a little bedtime ritual where the giver of a Token takes it off the recipient for them. So Stede takes off Ed's cravat, Ed takes off Izzy's cravat+ring, and Izzy takes off Stede's glove. I cannot stress enough that they still have not fully had the "What are we" talk yet, nor have they properly discussed their Feelings. They just simply cannot help but to be domestic.

[michaelwavemichaelwave]

i am intrigued by arise… what could that be?

Hehehe

I'm so glad you ASKED!!

Arise is the title of the WIP that I occasionally allude to in various tags, and I've been working on it since May. (The title has changed over time, but I think I'm finally satisfied with Arise!)

Basically it's a Midam fix-it fic! (It alligns mostly with canon events, but it's very different from canon.)

It starts pre 15x08 when they're getting out of Hell and progresses into post canon! (I'm doing a terrible job of selling it, I know, I'm so bad at summarizing it without giving anything away! 😂) But they visit Kate, Adam goes to college and becomes a doctor and other fun stuff!

I've been mostly working on editing/ revising/ adding to later chapters. There's still parts that I've yet to write/ expand.

Word Count is currently 60,000. (I plan on posting it once it's complete, which is TBD 😂!)

Here's the opening prologue of the first chapter! Let me know what you think/ if I should change anything!! (Is it engaging? Too wordy?) I don't think I've read the first chapter since the Summer, but I believe it's done (DEFINITLY still need to tweak a few things. I feel like the second paragraph is a bit repetitive and I should cut it down for clarity as well as other parts.) (Ok, now I'm rereading it and can't tell if it's dull af or if I'm just being over critical of my writing. Definitely both. But I'll be cutting some of this from the final version).

"Adam!"

Adam lurches up from where he had been nestled against Michael at the urgency of his voice. Peeking his head up from where he had settled to sleep for the night.

They had long since discussed the subject that Adam doesn't need to sleep. But Adam was adamant that, "What else is there to do in Hell for a thousand years?" 

To which Michael would respond with "work," like the work-a-holic he is. Or "A thousand years really isn't that long of a period of time." But with the increasing amount of time they spent in Hell his tone would imply differently. Having worn into a cold resignation over the years.

Adam would roll his eyes at him, and try to correct his concept of time to that of humanity's. But even he grew distant from "humanity." He seemed to exist in a strange place of being too old to be human but too young to be an angel.

"Adam." The repeated stern caution of Michael's voice jars him back to full attention.

"What is it?" Adam asks warily as he anxiously strokes Michael's feathers as he sits up. Both to sooth Michael as well as to fidget with something.

"The Cage. It's open." Again.

"Oh," is all he can get out.

The memory of the first time is still deeply burned into their minds and Michael's wings. The searing agony of the bars against his body that remained even after Michael had instinctively fallen to the ground of The Cage away from the bars. How the pain had penetrated into his soul even through Michael's grace. Michael writhing on the floor trying to soothe all of his feathers at once. How Adam could only watch after Michael had taken the brunt of the anti-angel warding and material of the bars. They were made of the same material as angel blades, and making contact with them caused grave injuries that lingered and were slow and stubborn to heal. Michael's feathers had long since regrown after that first incident that had occured in year 203 of their confinement. However there were still a few scars that had yet to heal where the feathers hadn't grown back.

[Removed 2 paragraphs here to edit later, but I don't think they're necessary]

After the first time trying to exit The Cage they'd agreed to be more patient. Michael apologized non-stop for failing Adam, and Adam had to assure Michael he wasn't to blame, he honestly would've done the same. But something about that hadn't set right with Michael. He prided himself on his patience, and yet he had been moved to rashness in that moment. It weighed on him- being human, failure. Everything about The Cage had stripped him of his status, his family, his power, his freedom. How could he make an error in perceiving The Cage as open when it wasn't? Michael had never made mistakes before, and failure was immensely devastating. What was he if he made mistakes?

And Adam had taught him how to recover from mistakes- he was an expert on the subject. Though Michael still struggled, Adam made it bearable.

After that Michael had closed himself off from Adam before eventually allowing himself to be more open in front of Adam. They shared a desperation to be free of The Cage, but together they kept each other in check.

And when the door had seemed to open for the second time- Again they had fallen for it.

They couldn't keep ramming into The Cage walls with reckless abandon whenever the opportunity presented itself.

It worried Adam how The Cage could trick all of Michael's eyes. And Michael would fall for it because his eyes and senses had never wronged him before.

Michael would consult Adam when he thought The Cage was open. He’d consult Adam, and those would be the rare glimpses that Adam got of The Cage that Michael always carefully shielded from his view. He’d report back that The Cage appeared to still be sealed. Then they'd wait, and watch until the door closed again. And pray that that wasn't it.

But this was different.

Adam paused for a beat over the electric race of Michael's thoughts and emotions.

“It’s open.”

[divinefireangel]

Hello ✍️Writer✍️, I would like to 🤌request🤌 a reaction where their s/o likes ❣️kissing❣️ their ❤neck❤ 🌠Innocentlly🌠but it 🌌turns the 🕺Bois💃 on🌌 🤡accidentally🤡 Thank you for blessing us with your Beautiful 🤌 beautiful 🤌 works✍️❣️

Idk why but so many emojis are making very happy 😂

I HAVE SO MANY DRAFTS HELP

Warnings: Suggestive? Fluff? Crack? Well idk. Mentions of food. Domestic af SF9. Yes that is a warning. Sensitive neck! SF9. Just go with it 💀.

Youngbin

"I'll hug you and you click the picture"

"Okay. But you'll have to help me angle it properly cause of your outfit."

"I know I know. Just turn it a bit towards me. Okay. Yes!" You exclaim finally happy with the angle. Clicking a good number of selfies with your boyfriend Youngbin, you check them to make sure that you atleast got a few you can post.

Monitoring the pictures along with you, Youngbin holds you close to him even after the photo session. You see, there was a wedding. One of your friend's. And being your boyfriend, Youngbin offered to be your date.

So here you both are, all doll'd up and pretty, finally taking couple pics after what seems like forever. Smiling happily you bounce on your feet. The pictures turned out perfect!

To celebrate, you kiss him joyfully, well you ended up kissing his neck because that the height you are able to reach with your heels right now. Pulling away with a small smile, a frown takes over when you notice your lipstick mark on his neck.

Widening your eyes, you panic trying to figure out how you can remove the mark quickly. Remembering that you have tissues in your bag, you take take it out and begin to clean.

"I'm sorry. I forgot I had lipstick." You say sadly, but concentrating on the task in hand. Youngbin, however, is still frozen in his spot, not even moving his eye lids. When you finish and move away, he breathes out contracting his chest.

"Jagi." He huffs slowly. "You, you can't just do that." He says in a small pout.

"Do what?" You look in his eyes. Realizing that you meant nothing by it, his face just breaks into a smile.

"Nothing. Let's go. Or we're going to be late!" He exclaims wrapping his arm around your shoulder, pulling you to walk with him.

Inseong

A lovely afternoon spent with your boyfriend. Aka. You having your nose in your novel and him having his nose in his novel. It's actually something you both do often. And then comes the regular discussing favourite parts, which he claims is the best part of your mini book club.

You were both seated at opposite ends if the couch, when you huffed closing your book. Now, normally you would've finished it, but for some reason your eyes were starting to lose focus. Maybe it was stress or overworking. Keeping the book on the table in front of the couch, you slowly crawl away from your side to his.

Peering over his shoulder, you try to see what page he is on.

"What are you doing?" Inseong asked with a smirk.

"Nothing. Just cuddling my super cuddly boyfriend" you said whilst moving your legs on his lap and hands landing around his shoulders. Kissing his cheek with a smile, you nest your head in his neck, closing you eyes when you feel his arm on your back.

Blinking your eyes open, you mindlessly pout, tired and a bit bored. 'Hmm, he smells nice', you think to yourself. Sliding your head back a little on his shoulder, you start to drag your pouty lips against his neck, occasionally pecking it too.

Biting his lip, Inseong shuts his eyes, moaning in satisfaction as you kiss his neck. Giggling at his reaction, you stop what you're doing. "Are you actually getting turned on by me just kissing your neck? " you ask with the biggest smile on your face.

Reciprocating your smile, Inseong chuckles, opening one of his eyes to look at you. "Not my fault. You just know how to drive me crazy for you." He says leaning forward to capture your lips in a dizzying kiss.

Jaeyoon

Sitting on a chair near the dining table, Jaeyoon scrolls through his phone, scouring for a new recipe to try out. Finding one that seems interesting, he clicks on it and starts to read. Being so engrossed in learning it, he fails to notice you come out of the bedroom.

Almost walking past him towards the fridge, you stop in your tracks and decide to have some fun. Tapping his left shoulder, you wait for him to turn but quickly move to the right. Snickering silently, you repeat the same action again, now tapping his right side, but he notices your hair before you moved.

Chuckling he looks down shaking his head. "Jagiya, you're very cute. But not very slick." He laughs when you whine into his neck. Relaxing onto his back, you pout sadly.

"What are you seeing?" You ask curiously.

"A new recipe you might like. I think we have all the ingredients, so I was planning on trying it. What do you think?" He hums in question, raising a hand to pet your hair.

"Okay. I'll be happy with whatever you feed me." You reply genuinely. Playing a kiss on his cheek first, he turns to look back to his phone smiling. But you wanted to kiss him more. So instead you just choose to kiss his neck.

Licking your lips a little, you press a medium kiss on his neck, making his stop everything he was doing. Unfazed, you walk to the fridge to take a cold water bottle from it. Turning you gasp, almost colliding into Jae's chest.

"Jae... " you say looking at him, wondering why he's standing so close to you. Sighing he leans down to your height, kissing you on the lips once. Twice. Thrice.

Keeping the water bottle on the kitchen counter next to the fridge, you wrap your arms around his broad shoulders, feeling his back muscles as you make out with your boyfriend. Loving your reciprocation, Jaeyoon lifts you off the ground and makes you sit on the counter, not breaking the kiss for one second...

Dawon

You gasp in surprise when you feel a strong chest hug into you. Kissing the side of your head, Sanghyuk smiles, happy to finally have you in his arms after another long day of work.

"Hi"

"Hi baby. You took a shower?" You ask, noticing that he's wearing only sweatpants.

"Yeah. I went to the gym after work." He replies, walking towards the mirror to apply his moisturizer.

Nodding you change out of your work clothes, finally feeling like you can breathe again. Now it was your turn to hug him.

Approaching him slowly, you tickle your way around his torso and abs, resting your forehead against his ear you sigh satisfactorily. Smiling widely at your clingyness, Sanghyuk continues to moisturize. "Tired?"

Humming a response you open your eyes and breathe out, having closed your eyes as soon as you hugged him. Pluckering your lips, you lean up to kiss one long sweet kiss on his neck. And then another next to it. And another.

"I thought you were tired." He says in a deadpanned tone.

"I am" you hum.

"Fuck it. I'll do most of the work then" Turning around, Sanghyuk stares down at you, biting his lip sexily making your breath hitch and mind go blank. Grabbing your waist in one hand to pull you flush into him, he leans down to connect your lips together while his other hand cups your butt, asking you to jump into his arms so he can take you to bed for a long, long night.

Zuho

You were laying across the couch, you boyfriend Juho sitting on the ground, his back on the same couch near your head. You were waiting for your lunch to be delivered, the app saying it'll take only a few minutes.

The day was spent well with taking the cats to the vet, then going grocery shopping and coming back home and putting them in their respective containers. Of course the whole ordeal tired you both out. So you decided to treat yourselves by ordering in.

You laugh silently as Juho played with Kompangg, making weird sounds to get the feline's attention and to make her meow. Huru of course the rebel, in his own world, sleeping cutely in his bed.

Pulling yourself forward by your arms, you place you head on Juho's shoulder, trying to help him play with his younger pawed child. When she finally meowed after a lot of both of your efforts, you cheer extending your arm to pet her ears.

Smiling at her doey eyes, you place an innocent kiss on Juho's neck, resuming your previous position on the couch.

"Why did you do that? " Juho asks, putting Kom in the ground. Turning to you with a smirk, Juho leans his hands on the couch.

"Do what?" You ask quizzically, cause you really didn't know. Looking at your clueless expression, Juho realizes that you didn't mean anything by that kiss. Pursuing his lips, he looks down on his lap, cringing at his dirty mind.

"Did you think I wanted sex?!" You accuse him when you figure out what he was thinking. Scratching the back of his neck, he laughs timidly trying to think of an excuse when the front door bell rang.

"Ah! Yes food's here!" He says quicky, sprinting off towards the door while you laugh.

Rowoon

Sprawled widely on the bed, Seokwoo replies to his texts with a pout on his lips while waiting for you to join him so he can cuddle you to sleep. Jumping onto the bed, you grab your pillow and lay on top of it for support while looking into his phone too.

"Why do you have so many at this time? "

"I ignored the group from morning." He replies.

Nodding your head, you sigh in exhaustion from the day's work. Pushing half of your body on his, you rest your chin in his neck and close your eyes. What you've been addicted to since dating him, was situating yourself on top of him whenever where ever he lies down. It always gave you warmth. And him a sense of feeling small. He also loves it when you give him a back massage or draw on top of his wide back, just for the fun of it.

"Okay! I'm done. Let's sleep." Seokwoo says making you open your eyes in surprise.

"Okie" you say in a small voice, bending down to peck his neck before rolling off him onto your side if the bed.

Opening his mouth for a good ten seconds, he licks his lips and turns his head to look at you. Seeing you wrap yourself in the comforter like a burrito, he blinks in confusion.

Once settled, you look at him in question, wondering why he isn't tucking himself in. "Why are you not turning? Are you okay? "

Your words pull him out of his trance. Opening his mouth to answer, but closing it again when he realizes that he doesn't have one, he just looks at you.

"Nothing. Good night." He finally says, wondering why such a simple action took him by so much surprise.

Yoo Taeyang

Smiling lovingly Taeyang stands in the kitchen preparing an even more love filled meal for you. He knows how you've only had a small breakfast, so he took it upon himself to make you something delicious for when you come out of the bedroom after attending all your meetings.

Humming along with the song playing in the background, he stirs the contents of the pot. "Y/N will like this." He says to himself. And as if you cue, he hears the bedroom door open and from there came out a very tired you.

Walking into the kitchen, you let your feet drag you till you're behind Taeyang. Wrapping your arms around his torso while being careful of the hot vessel on the stove, you rest your head on his back. "I hate work" you complain pouting.

"I know. " he agrees, chuckling at your childish behaviour. Taking in a deep breath, smelling the aroma of your lunch, you sway in happiness while still hugging Taeyang. Rising on your tippy toes, you place a small kiss on his neck, squeezing him tightly in your arms. Freezing he widens his eyes as his shoulders tense at your actions.

"You're amazing" you compliment him. Pulling away you begin to walk towards the bathroom, completely failing to notice your blushing mess of a boyfriend.

"You can't just do that!" He complains loudly to a still very clueless you.

Hwiyoung

Tired from overworking yourself, you close your eyes leaning back in your chair. Youngkyun was sitting next to you, doing his work. Noticing your despair immediately, he pauses and saves his work first, then yours.

"Let's go take a nap. We've been here long enough." He says, worry laced in every syllable.

Nodding you push your chair back a bit, until your legs are out. Lifting your arms up to him, you silently ask him to carry you to bed. Smiling at your cuteness, he obliges, not having the heart to say no to you. Like always.

And so he gently picks you up bridal style and walks to the bed. And just as, if not even more gently, he places you on the bed. Unfolding the blanket, he spreads it on the bed before getting in with you, making sure you are tucked in well.

Attacking him as soon as he's settled next to you, you throw one leg across his torso and intertwine your hands on his chest,nuzzling your nose shamelessly in his neck. Chuckling he starts to pat your shoulder, back and head, to put you to sleep.

Releasing a breath finally feeling relaxed, you turn your head up to kiss him, not really caring where you ended up kissing him, but you kiss him. "I love you" you mumble against his skin.

Biting his lip, he continues to pat you to sleep, while he lays there wide awake, still feeling the aftermath of your simple kiss. Little do you know, he's silently begging his hormones to calm down or else he will never hear the end of it.

Chani

A typical Saturday afternoon for the two of you. You are engrossed in your work while Chanhee is on his desktop playing games. Being cooped up in your work for so long, you decide that you needed to take a break. Probably a snack too.

Getting up from your position, you walk towards Chanhee's chair to wrap your hands around his shoulders. Smiling when he feels your presence behind him, he just continues to play his game. Playing a sweet kiss on his cheek, you lean your head against his temple, averting your attention to the screen.

"What"

"Nothing. Just trying to see what's so interesting in the game."

Lifting your head to look at him for a moment, you bend down and press your nose to his neck. Giggling at your action, Chani is about to protest when he freezes in his spot. Playing tiny pecks of admiration on his neck repeatedly, you close your eyes happy to be in his warmth.

"Stop! " Chani exclaims in surprise, pausing the game.

Opening your eyes at this sudden outburst, you look at him with curious eyes. "Why?"

"Do you- Are you- ah.... " Gulping he is at a loss for words. Staring at your with wide eyes he just opens and closes his mouth.

Blinking you giggle at his flush state, not really catching what's going on in his mind. "I'm gonna make myself a snack. When you decide what and how you want to tell me, I'll be ready." You laugh exiting the room, leaving a very dumbfolded Chani in your wake.

[meirimerens]

I'm currently reading ATA and your writing style is so beautiful and... unique? It's charming and recognizable and always feels so filled with emotion & passion..... I still have some chapters to read but it's already one of my favorite patho fics (and just fic in general) of all times.

If you don't mind me asking, what inspires you? Other writers, or just Things In General! And how's the general writing process for you, if you feel comfortable sharing?

HI BESTIE... SO HAPPY TO HEAR YOU'RE WIKING IT SO FAR... it was the fic i had the most fun writing in a long time even though she Drained me she sucked me dry (not even in the fun way)

and i don't mind you asking... let me see if i can answer you thoroughly...

Inspirations:

i had already given a quick overview [here] but i have a few things to add:

symbolism and surrealism as art/literary currents have been my very favorites since i studied them first in middle school.

symbolism has all these manners to conjure the dream-like, the esoteric, and it's a big thing To Me; so think Baudelaire, Verlaine, Mallarmé...

surrealism pushes that even more and gives a big part to "écriture automatique" (automatic writing) which i will come back to in a sec (surrealism, think Breton, Mallarmé again, a number of "previously" symbolist writers since they all kinda hung out together...)

a number of texts and poems from these movements have in some way a very deep inclination to like... the sensory/sensible/sensitive. about synesthesia in some way (this is very present in Les Fleurs du Mal, where the sense of smell with mentions of incense, perfume, the smell of sweat; the sense of sight with mirrors, reflections; the sense of hearing with songs, whispers, etc etc, are Pivotal themes of the poems.

people have already mentioned it to me (if you were here then, that anon who told me "do you have scent hcs for pathologic characters, you seem like the type to have"... so classic) that my writing & worldbuilding is Heavy on like. The Senses. yeah babey that's my Baudelaire upbringing.

re:écriture automatique, a lot A LOT of parts of ATA have been written as écriture automatique in some way, as I've mentioned in my fic disclaimer, meaning BRAIN OFF. VIBE RECEPTORS ON. it's all about conjuring and bringing to the surface all things from the esoteric, the subconscious, the... subterranean in some way. for me, it works way better when I'm Fucking Tired/really seepy, because the veil between the conscious (awake) and the subconscious (seepy & dreaming) is the thinnest, so words flow more naturally from one state to the other.

this leads into The Writing Process:

ATA was written non-linearly. like ooooh girl. for example i had finished writing chapter 9 before I even had gotten to chapters 1 to 8. ATA was written A Lot as phone notes typed furiously in bed just as i was getting ready to sleep -> because the Flow of words from conscious to un/subconscious was denser then. it was not exclusively written like that and thank god, because otherwise it'd have taken one more year to come out. i cannot Force écriture automatique/Da Flow, and if i force myself to be sleepy in order to write, I'm not going to write at all. so ATA was written as écriture automatique notes/sudden Not Automatique But Really Sleepy notes that then my Conscious Self had to re-work so they actually made human sense & then wove them together with the linear thread of time & canon events.

other things that inspire me that are not strictly surrealism and symbolism are for example Solange Knopff's, Agnes Pelton's, Ernst Haeckel’s, Hilma af Klint’s artworks (all mentioned in the post i linked above). while not about senses/sensory experiences, a very good... exercise I guess? is to describe these visual works with words. the shapes. the senses, again.

i've also recently read david batchelor's Chromophobia, an essay on color theory mostly but which discusses the part and the place of color within sensory experiences, sensory bonds, links, mirrors... very very interesting read btw. relatively short and accessible too.

other inspirations: The Patterns. i do not actively seek, but bear witness to how patterns bodily and natural (= of the body and of nature) reciprocate, mirror, call each other back. it's a big narrative language of pathologic which is Just Right Up My Alley as i have a personal spirituality tied to nature and a "mother" earth in some way, which i think made the writing of ATA easier/quicker/more like. Oh Yeah Bro I'm In My Element.

SORRY FOR DA RAMBLING... hope you enjoyed this horizon tour though and feel free to ask whatever else 🕊️👍

[serene-victory-77]

Why The Crows Being Teenagers Is Actually Perfectly Realistic

There’s a TL;DR are the end because wow I like to rant.

I lightly discuss the general situations they’re all in to explore how they are frighteningly mature and competent, but it’s not particularly depressing or descriptive, it’s definitely lighter than the books

I thought about this post with a joke first: “People who think that Six of Crows is unrealistic because they’re so young clearly have not spent much time with traumatized honors students.”

It’s a bit of an exaggeration, but the point stands.

But I decided that, hm, actually, I could make a point about this. I totally agree with the aging up of the characters in the Shadow and Bone show, but when people straight up say that the books are wrong or unrealistic for having a young crew, I get annoyed, and here’s why (other than me reading the books for the first time when I was 13 and thinking ‘Huh okay, I see it’ and now being lowkey offended when people say they ignore it for being unrealistic):

On Inej

- At first I thought Inej’s wisdom and general demeanor was one of the most unrealistic things in the book

- When I thought about it longer, I was like “Actually, she’s 16, right? I’ve sent some of the most lyrical philosophy trying to help my friends while in high school. My friends have done the same. It’s valid.”

- Frankly, teenagers love hard-hitting philosophical truths. They love repeating what they’ve read or heard in movies and in books and from family stories. They love sharing little bits of wisdom they have come up with

- Inej’s ability to hear and understand philosophy and wisdom that she was surrounded by for 14 straight years and then sit on it and elaborate it for her friends to understand, or even just to piss them off in Kaz’s case? 

- Teenagers have that. They do it. So, Inej’s Wisdom passes, to me. It’s valid. 

As for her being calm

- You know how everyone jokes that Kaz seems calm on the outside but when you get to his POV he’s like “What the fuck” at the Van Eck house or just straight up “Huh, is this revenge for making tree jokes” at the Djel River thingy in the Ice Court?

- Inej is like that, too. And she gets angry, and she gets confused, or exhausted.

- AKA every quiet kid ever. Like, are you kidding? Have you ever been in a situation in which it’s literally chaos all around you, people are screaming and things are being destroyed (think middle school classroom with bitchy long term substitute and even worse students), and you’re just, calm? You pick up your things, you do what you need to do?

- That’s Inej. Like, what else is she gonna do? She’s smart enough to know that panicking won’t help anyone, and so she just rides it out. Internally she might be like “Why is this happening” but frankly, her being quiet and controlled in most situations is probably a coping mechanism and I respect that

- Pretty sure this is also based on the fact that the Suli have no land for their own and constantly have to keep moving. It might align with generational trauma, I’m sure someone could explain it better than me, but being able to keep your cool while constantly having to change and adapt to new situations, in, say, a country with hellfire politics and no land to call your own? Seems like a hereditary trait that could be useful in Ketterdam, although it’s sad.

On Inej’s abilities

- Simone Biles started training when she was 6 and went to the World Artistic Gymnastics Championships when she was 16, where she qualified in all the events. 

- There are videos of people walking over tightropes as young as three years old. We know Inej didn’t start that young, but not only was she naturally talented at it, but she spent a lot of time practicing. I think it’s valid. Plus, some of her family members do some pretty crazy things in her flashbacks, because that’s the whole point of what they do. 

- Youngest person to beat American Ninja Warrior was 16 year old Vance Walker

- Inej has a variety of of tools that help her wall climb, and while it’s true that she started young and got good really fast, she already had a history of physical work that would help her, and from what we can gleam from the book, a surprising amount of free time in which she was actively encouraged to learn everything she could. 

So that’s Inej! I think her skills are perfectly possible for someone with her history and situation. It’s true that she’s naturally skilled, but that’s not actually all that unusual. And her demeanor and wisdom do fit in with what a lot of teenagers are like and the circumstances she was brought up in

Onto Kaz!

- One thing I hear about is that Kaz is too smart for not having gone to school and also too young to know all that he does

- Do you all KNOW how many self-taught people there have been in this world? The word for people who are self-taught is autodidacts, and honestly a huge amount of famous people apply. Like many, many other people in history (there’s a whole list of them in Wikipedia), he had an vested interest in a field and he learned all he could. Sure, those fields were magic tricks and math, but still.

- Suddenly I have a lot of thoughts

- Okay, think, hyperfixations. That’s essentially what Kaz’s thing with magic tricks was, right? Have any of you ever spent time with an eight year old that clearly really, really loves dinosaurs? Those kids can spout names and facts and identify them by their skeletons and frankly know more than I ever will. Kaz’s was magic tricks. All kids are special.

- Kaz continued working on magic tricks and practicing them for years, so, I think that gets a pass. 

- As for the math! Look, a Fact Of Life is that some kids are just Like That, whether it be possibly from neurodivergence or other factors:

- Flo and Kay Lyman are twins with Autism who basically have the calendar of EVER memorized. Kaz memorizing card decks is sensible, and these ladies don’t need to look up anything to figure it out, so Kaz doing sums inside his head seems plausible. His “photographic memory’ isn’t impossible, although the term itself might be incorrect.

- Katherine Johnson who worked at NASA (yes, the lady from Hidden Figures), was so good at math that she was in high school by age 10 and went to college at age 15. It’s true that she had some teaching, but 1. There’s no evidence Kaz had absolutely no schooling, even if it was just at home with books and 2. Kaz was 9 when he came to Ketterdam, and after Jordie died, when he wasn’t surviving, he was learning. 

- Human calculator is a term that is applied to children a lot and there’s definitely plenty of videos showing how smart these kids are and them doing mental math easily, which he does in the books

- He had a LOT of pressure on him to figure out all he could, and if he wanted to move forward, he was going to have to learn a lot. He spent hours practicing magic tricks, for all we know he spent hours practicing math too. We know Jordie was a bit of a bookworm too, so Kaz from a young age probably already had a reason to learn. Personally, a lot of my love for books was inspired by my older sibling when I was younger

- Young people are adaptable. Kaz is incredibly adaptable. The term prodigy exists because of people like him through history. 

- As for him being rational, there’s no other way to survive. Some of the greatest soldiers in history have been very, very young, and very, very smart. It’s true tacticians are generally considered to be older, but that doesn’t mean there haven’t been very young ones. 

- A lot of the generals I found were like, 19 years old, but Kaz is 1. not a general and 2. in a place where young people take up the mantle really, really quickly, and frankly it’s been like that for a long time. I still think this passes. This isn’t relevant but William the Conqueror was apparently called “The Bastard”?

- Frankly, underground communities of thieves probably don’t go around publishing their escapades so to me it makes sense that I can’t just look up “famous young thieves” and get anything that makes sense, but I did try

- Y’all I tried to do research on youngest escape artists since I think Kaz qualifies and I found myself in what I think is a magicians forum? It’s from 2002-ish and I feel like I’ve just found a relic. I can’t definitely prove they’re all saying the truth, but some of the people there talk about 10-11 year olds at magic camps, so, it’s not impossible for this to be a skill Kaz learned really young, particularly when he made a habit of following around magicians

- I think he passes the realism check overall

For the other Crows:

- Nina being so proficiently multilingual makes sense to me, because she’s been in the Little Palace almost her entire life with all the best teachers they could afford at her disposal. Some people just click with languages. One such would be Timothy Doner, who spoke 23 languages at 16. 

- Nina is a child soldier. She of course can handle the battlefield, although I imagine there’s a degree of trauma that she has to deal with (although it’s true that most of her work was always meant to angle her towards being a spy).

- Jesper was taught to shoot from a young age by Aditi, who was likely incredibly proficient. Plus, there’s mentions of him and his father being on some sort of frontier at one point in the books, so, it’s likely that Jesper got his fair share of ‘being a child soldier” since he would’ve been 15 or younger. Plus, with being a Fabrikator, he gets a leg up

- Jesper’s smart y’all, he just also likes to have fun

- I am a little terrified by the fact that I looked up ‘youngest sharpshooter’ and found out about a 9 year old girl (Addysson “Addy” Soltau) who can indeed shoot guns, but uh, it does prove my point

- Matthias... I haven’t heard anyone really argue about Matthias. He’s the oldest at 18 and again, he’s essentially a religious child soldier. Of course he would be built af and know how to handle himself in a fight, and in a flashback about meeting Trassel, we’re told that he was actually distanced from the other boys and was the biggest and strongest/smartest of the group. Perhaps not compared to Kaz, but still

- We know how Wylan ended up how he is, so I don’t think i have to defend how he’s both a musical prodigy, good at math, and good at chemistry. Plenty of kids who can’t do one thing will immediately gravitate to a different field (think AP math students who can’t write essays, or those kids who could analyse a book and it’s metaphors in class but didn’t understand geometry).

- Granted he took it far but it’s kinda implied that  his father ignored him eventually and what else was Wylan going to do

- I don’t really know how he did chemistry while not being able to read the symbols and stuff, but that’s likely because I’ve never had to learn the way he did and also I really suck at Chemistry, but I refuse to believe that it invalidates his capabilities

Final Thoughts:

- They’re Traumatized Honors Students

- People might say that “it’s unrealistic that all the smart ones somehow ended up together” but again they’re traumatized honors students and those gravitate to each other

- Of course the smart ones ended up together, they’re the ones in those crazy situations precisely because they are prodigies. Nina wouldn’t have met Matthias if she wasn’t skilled and a spy, Kaz wouldn’t have known Inej if she hadn’t been skilled at silence (I can’t explain that one but uh ninjas did/do exist and it IS still a fantasy world). Kaz would have never been a leader of the Dregs in a position to find Jesper if he hadn’t been so determined to rise to the top, and Jesper wouldn’t have been in Ketterdam if his father hadn’t thought that Jesper was smart enough to get that chance.

- You know how those fringe revolutionary artists for new eras end up knowing all knowing each other and even hanging out? That’s them.

- I have decided there is a strong basis for Autistic Kaz, someone who is more studied than me should feel free to explore this.

- I read this book a few years ago, A Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beah. It’s about this guy’s experiences as a boy soldier and it’s a painful read so I’m not sure I recommend it as a casual read, but he talked about these young kids being able to actually make competent military strategies and handle warfare. It’s an extreme example of what I’m trying to explain when it comes to them being able to handle the brutality of their situation, but it’s true, essentially

- They are definitely serious, but if you think they’re not teenagers I just, disagree so much. They have moments of lighthearted banter, they make light of their situation, they try to support each other Nina covers it so well in her farewell at the end of Crooked Kingdom: The little rescues of laughing at each others jokes or eating together and just supporting each other, is not only a very human thing, but a very teenager thing. 

- Scary experiences that shape us happen all the time, and although for most it’s not the things that the Crows experience, picking each other up is a big part of why they do read as teenagers to me. I’ve seen kids be able to seriously converse about things like being questioned by the police, or being left to their own devices for days at a time, or the general impending doom they all feel, and it’s dark, but they’re also going to joke about silly puns 20 minutes later. 

- Teenagers aren’t exempt from terrifying maturity and competence

- Finally: Despite all I said, it’s a fantasy story and doesn’t have to be realistic

In the end, everyone can believe what they want to believe, but this is my case for my opinion.

TL;DR The Crows are all prodigies and a lot of their achievements and capabilities are based in reality and there are real people who actually achieved things like what they’ve done. Messed up prodigies gravitate to messed up prodigies, hence how they all end up together. When it comes to their mental state, most of them have been brought up their entire lives in situations that required for them to problem solve and keep their cool even when things are going to hell.

[beileil]

Increasingly Improbable Predictions on Time Travel

Let me preface this by saying that I am not the person to go to for OPM meta discussion. There are plenty of people on Tumblr that are far more talented in that regard. My strengths are fanfic and shitposts, and I’m way out of my wheelhouse here. I considered not posting this at all. But I have a lot of thoughts about Chapter 166, and I need to get this into writing, even if no one reads it and it’s only to keep me from going crazy. Manga spoilers below the cut, obviously. Also some Mob Psycho 100 spoilers that I tried to keep sort of vague? Ready? Let’s get stupid!

I have a prediction brewing and I don't know how I feel about it. I'm not alone in thinking that the latest chapter was much darker than usual, nor in finding the chapter 164 redraw jarring. I'm sure I'm not the first person to have this thought either: What if there are multiple timelines and we're being shown the darkest one? We've seen ONE do something similar with the Mogami arc in MP100, so we know he's good at making both his fans and his characters go through Some Shit, even if the events are an illusion or aren't permanent. (Also see: Mob going ??? in “Even Then ~Continue Forward~”, an otherwise lighthearted episode that ends with a cliffhanger so brutal that the first time I watched it, I gasped out loud, explained to my concerned spouse that my reaction was because I couldn’t believe the writer would actually go there, and had to stop watching for the night. Obviously, everything turned out to be a trick, but this moment stuck with me.)

ONE is a great story teller. He doesn’t need to kill anyone to make his audience feel pain, nor to leave his main characters with lasting trauma.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to my stupid time travel theory, which I’m sure is also not very original.

Now surely (and this is the point you may roll your eyes, but stay with me, I promise I'm going somewhere with it) Blast or one of his crew has the ability to send someone back in time. Like seriously, the guy fights with portals and tried to send Garou to another dimension. Let’s say Blast & Co. can send exactly one person back in time. But maybe time travel takes an extreme toll on the person’s body to the point that normal people can’t survive the jump. Hm...do we know anyone who can withstand any amount of physical stress without getting hurt? Oh, I know! How about we send the guy who uses a magma pool as a hot tub!

Scenario #1 (the “immediate fix”): The Blast Crew can only send Saitama back in time by a few minutes. But it’s enough. Enough to stop Celestial Garou’s radioactive attack. Enough to save his disciple. This time, he doesn’t arrive too late. He arrives just in time, like a true hero should.

Scenario #2 (the least bullshit one): Saitama gets sent back just far enough to stop Garou from getting possessed by God (no ID), and instead of continuing their Fistfight to End the World, Saitama (who is the only one who remembers the Worst Timeline and is just so tired) asks Garou if he's done yet, offers to lend an ear…and the chapter ends with a panel of dragon!Garou sheepishly sitting seiza at a low table with Saitama in an abandoned house floating in the sea. It’s odd to me that the Murata would spend so much time on the original, very different version of Chapter 164, only for it to be scrapped three days later. Maybe this scene does happen…just in a different order than expected. In this scenario, nothing is wasted.

Scenario #3 (improbable, confusing, and meta af, but indulge me please): Saitama gets sent back to some point earlier that day. LET’S GET META for a hot second. I remember reading a discussion by @gofancyninjaworld a long time ago (sorry dude, I tried to find it on your blog but no luck) about how the manga is ultimately written for the people who read it in its final, published volume form. But here's an awful, fun thought: What if the redraws are ONE/Murata throwing an extremely meta bonus to the readers who read each update as it comes out? If there's time travel fuckery involved, it explains at least one of the redraws…or all of them if Saitama were to get sent back further than meeting Awakened Garou on the shoreline. I'm imagining something like the scrapped chapters actually being an alternate timeline where Phoenix Man doesn't become chickified, Do-S and Narinki's mercenaries are killed by Sweet Mask, Orochi is killed by a punch instead of a bathtime mishap, etc. Time travel could also create some fun deja vu moments, like Atomic Samurai telling Iaian "I swear I've told you about this before" about the Sun Blade. Maybe he really did!

Scenario #4 (for lulz only, everyone would rage quit the series if it happened): Saitama travels back in time to the meeting that Sitch calls with the S-class to warn them about Shibabawa’s prophecy. Saitama informs him that the prophecy is about Bang’s student going off the rails. The entire Monster Association arc is canceled. Saitama beats up everyone in the subterranean and takes their gold. Garou gets therapy and a job at Fedex.

Pros of time travel being used as a plot device:

Saitama saving the world and no one knowing about it would be very on point for the series.

Saitama retaining his memories ties in with my earlier point: ONE doesn’t need to kill anyone off permanently to leave his main character with lasting trauma. Even if Genos survives this, I guarantee Saitama will be having nightmares about holding his core in his hand for years to come.

Many fans found Saitama’s comment that he’d “rather destroy the world” out of character for him. The comment makes a lot more sense if he’s already seen the people he cares for…you know.

It makes no damn sense to set up future sub-plots (Garou becoming a hero, a fetch quest for a magic sword, etc.) if everyone is just going to die of radiation poisoning anyway. It’s wasted potential, and as much as I’m hurting, I have faith in ONE/Murata to not do that.

Cons of time travel being used as a plot device:

Let's face it. Time travel as a fix-it is kind of a cop out. The only time I've seen it done well is in Steins;gate. (Which is a brilliant show if you haven't seen it.)

The further back in time we go, the less character development everyone gets. The S-class never learns to work together. Fubuki never discovers her healing powers, or stands up to her sister. Waganma never stops being a brat. Sweet Mask never gets to beat a pep talk into Darkshine, and Zombieman never gets to admit that Sweet Mask isn’t as bad as he seems. The Bad Boys don’t get their team-up. Garou doesn’t get to (try to) tell God to fuck off.

We’ve already seen characters we thought were goners come back through the power of magic (looking at you, Tanktop Master), and if it happens too much, it's going to be difficult to truly experience suspense properly again. The stakes just won’t be there. Every time a character dies, it’ll be a case of the boy who cried wolf. (Or rather the boy who cried, "Can't we just have Fubuki/Blast fix it?")

So I’m conflicted. Would a time travel fix-it make you rage quit the series? Would it cheapen the trauma that everyone has been through, or could it be done well? Or can you not see this happening at all? I guess we’ll find out in two weeks.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 291: The Endeavor Pamphlet

Previously on BnHA: Dabi showed up atop Gigantomachia’s back and was all “you’ll never guess who I really am!” and the readers humored him and were all “who?” and he was all “TODOROKI TOUYA” and we were all “WOW └(・。・)┘ OH MY GOSH I WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED”, except for Shouto and Enji who were GENUINELY SHOCKED. Anyway so Touya was all “and guess what I’m doing right now!” and before anyone could even try, he was all, “STREAMING MY EMMY-NOMINATED MINISERIES ‘HELLO, I’M EVIL BUT ALSO TRAGIC AND SEXY, NOW LET ME TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY DAD WHO SUCKS’’, THAT’S WHAT.” And everyone was all “oh my god” and Touya was all “ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ♪” for basically the rest of the chapter, and that’s pretty much it! Oh, wait, except for the part where he also doused himself in bleach in a fit of pure theatrics, which is actually pretty much the main takeaway from the entire chapter really because it was just wild af. ANYWAYS.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi introduces Baby Touya, the world’s most enchantingly sweet character, and is immediately all, “I sure can’t wait to tell you guys all about how his fucking jaw burnt off.” Thankfully he doesn’t (YET), and we cut back to the present pretty quickly, where Dabi explains how he took all of his brain cells that should have been used to stop him from pouring bleach over his head, and instead put them all toward his big brain plot of releasing an elaborate video detailing Endeavor’s various abuses and crimes, and even throwing Hawks under the bus as well because WHY NOT. He then leaps off of Gigantomachia’s back (like I said, no brain cells) all set to blast them with a Prominence Burn, only to be stopped by none other than THE LEGEND HIMSELF, MOTHERFUCKING BEST, PRETTIEST, NICEST, MOST OUTSTANDING MOTHERFUCKING JEANIST. Who’s no doubt outraged by the crime against hair he witnessed only moments earlier. GO GETTIM JEANY BOI.

so I haven’t had time to answer any of them because this has been the stupidest week, but I just wanted to tell you guys that I received no fewer than nine asks about Dabi’s hair. which, in a week filled with election memes and tumblr’s most cursed fandom briefly rising back up from the dead, is a pretty impressive feat for him if you ask me. like, I know I was making fun of it basically nonstop, but it sure did generate a lot of discussion so maybe I should rethink my opinions on Dabi’s PR strategies now, idk

anyway. it’s Saturday. time to catch up on this shit. let’s see how fucked the Todorokis are

OH NO HE’S CUTE

HOLY SHIT THIS IS TOO MUCH TO FUCKING PROCESS. I’M JUST TRYING TO ENJOY MY DAY HORIKOSHI, ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO TRAUMATIZE THIS POOR CHILD RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD

“thanks for being all right” the fuck

who allowed this child to be so cute. I’m serious. who signed off on this

how could a child this adorable possibly want to murder his equally adorable baby brother. please, your honor. there must be some mistake here

guess how prepared I am to read all about Touya’s tragic past. mm. that’s right. zero ready. none ready

anyway. TWO THOUSAND DEGREES LOLOLOL. NO TRACE OF A CORPSE HOW CONVENIENT. A PIECE OF HIS LOWER JAW BONE FFFFMSGHKLSh. LOVELY. LOVELY

LMAOOOOO

listen you guys. I just want to take a moment to appreciate that Horikoshi Kouhei did one of two things here. either (1) he planned it out FROM THE VERY START that Touya would be born with red hair Because Fire Powers, but would then have his hair turn white due to trauma, thus making the Dabi/Touya connection very slightly less obvious, although Let’s Be Real Who Are We Kidding. OR, (2) the anime got it wrong and gave him red hair, and rather than allowing this plot hole to continue to exist, Horikoshi took it upon himself to concoct this elaborate storyline and pretend it was never a plot hole at all! in which case I sure hope someone at Bones is sending him a VERY nice Christmas card this year. got this man sweeping up all your messes for you. you’re just lucky he has some sort of wild compulsion to address these things

anyways!!

FATHER AND SON. how sweet. :| still zero percent ready for any of this btw

STOP BEING CUTE

THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I’M SO MAD RIGHT NOW. HE IS THE SINGLE CUTEST CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE SERIES, and do you even know how many other baby characters I’m betraying in order to say that?! baby Kacchan, baby Deku, baby Ochako, baby Shouto, Eri, baby Hawks. I’M LOOKING YOU DEAD IN THE EYE RIGHT NOW AND TELLING YOU THAT BABY TOUYA IS CUTER THAN ALL OF THOSE PLEBS. AND YOU’RE LOOKING BACK AT ME RIGHT NOW ALL “YEAH IT SURE IS A PITY ABOUT HIS JAW MELTING OFF THOUGH.” THAT’S IT, I QUIT THE SERIES

and Enji’s smiling at him. he’s so proud of him. but then Touya won’t be able to do it, and Enji’s gonna stop training him, and Touya’s gonna feel like a failure and keep pushing himself in order to try and win his dad’s affections back, because that’s all kids fucking want, all they want is just love, that’s fucking it, you couldn’t just give him that?? and then he’s gonna immolate himself fflkdlskfh THERE YOU SEE HORIKOSHI, I KNOW THE WHOLE STORY ALREADY, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THE WHOLE “SHOW THEM THE DEAD DOG” THING YET AGAIN YOU PIECE OF SHIT

OH SNAP THERE GOES THE TWIN THEORY. R.I.P.

BABY FUYUMI. PRETTY CUTE. NOT AS CUTE AS TOUYA THOUGH. HEY LOOK, NO REASON TO GET MAD AT ME I’M JUST STATING A FACT HERE

YEAH THIS IS GONNA GO REAL WELL OH BOY

I keep pressing the emergency stop button but this industrial tragedy machine just keeps on chugging along anyway, I’m pretty sure this thing is not up to code

:| I am so sorry sweet boy, Horikoshi is only getting started with you

FUCKING HELL WITH THIS NARRATION

but he wasn’t actually a child to you, he was just a little puppet child for you to live vicariously through!! and then you went and did the same fucking thing with Shouto afterwards and never learned your lesson until just six months ago!! fucking hell, Enji

so now he’s all “Touya is dead, that’s an unforgivable lie” fflkdhflk motherfucker does he look dead to you. if you really think that, tumblr and twitter have got a little over five years’ worth of archived theory posts to show you

oh shit Touya’s countering with “it’s an unforgivable truth”, which, damn. I actually think Horikoshi’s dialogue is one of his weaker points as a writer a lot of the time, but that comeback was snappy as fuck

actually guys, now that I’ve seen how ridiculously fucking cute baby!Touya was, I can almost understand why Shouto and Enji never put the pieces together before lol. any passing similarities would have easily been dismissed on account of he’d need to be at least 10x more adorable in order to get the full resemblance

OH MY GOD

NOW YOU SLEEP??? SO YOU POINT BLANK REFUSED TO PASS OUT WHILE YOU WERE BUSY MAIMING ALL OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS, BUT NOW THAT THERE’S AN OPPORTUNITY TO SEE YOUR REACTION TO THE “YOUR LIEUTENANT WAS SECRETLY RELATED TO ONE OF YOUR WORST ENEMIES THE WHOLE TIME” BOMBSHELL, YOU FINALLY DECIDE TO GET YOUR FORTY WINKS. I SEE

WOW DABI

I’M SURPRISED YOU DIDN’T ALREADY HAVE YOUR ANCESTRY.COM RESULTS PRINTOUT READY TO FOLD INTO A PAPER AIRPLANE AND ZOOM ON DOWN TO HIM

LOL NEVERMIND

gotta say, so far The Endeavor Pamphlet is just about as spicy as I could have hoped

(ETA: Natsuo’s face as he watches his beloved dead brother come back to life only to literally and metaphorically set everything on fire in one fell swoop is :/. why must you do this to me Natsu. can’t you see I’m trying to throw a Welcome Back Jeanist party here.)

HAVE YOU READ THIS?! TODOROKI ENJI ABUSED HIS OWN HEIR, AND DABI WROTE IT DOWN RIGHT THERE

WELL HE’S NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT

btw I neglected to mention this last week, but yes I do recognize and appreciate that this is Can’t Ya See-kun himself whom Horikoshi has chosen to be the face of this existential crisis which the general public is about to experience. rip CYS-kun

OOF

excuse me. putting aside the implications of Dabi sharing this context-less murder video of Hawks with the entire world for a moment, I just have to pause for a sec here, because when exactly did he get a chance to edit this all in?? complete with voiceover that seamlessly ties in with the prerecorded footage of him with DNA test results sans shirt?? you’re telling me this motherfucker, with all the smoke that was in the room thanks to his own quirk, somehow got a PERFECT SHOT of the PRECISE MOMENT when Hawks drove his feather knife into Jin’s back, using his MAGIC CAMERA THAT HE I GUESS HAD THE ENTIRE TIME IN THE POUCH RIGHT NEXT TO HIS BLEACH BOTTLE, and then immediately somehow got this very next shot as well FROM AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ANGLE

ALL THE WHILE IMMEDIATELY RUNNING THROUGH SCRIPT REVISIONS IN HIS HEAD, WHICH HE THEN PROCEEDED TO RECORD... WHERE, EXACTLY?? WITH SKEPTIC, WHILST RIDING ON MACHIA’S BACK??

AND THIS IS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF???

and this after I just wrote that whole long paragraph positively GLOWING about this man’s ability to plug up a plot hole. jfc. just scratch out every damn word I said lol. just forget all of it

are you fucking kidding me, the footage was from the cameras Skeptic planted on Hawks??

that’s... actually... okay you know what, it still doesn’t make any sense in the slightest, but the determination to address it nonetheless... just, dammit... I feel like I’m constantly at war with myself over whether or not I want to shake this man’s hand or slap him lmao. whatever, then!!

anyway, since Shouto and Enji can’t actually see the damage that Touya is dealing to the hero industry even as they speak, Touya is taking it upon himself to give them the highlights

I think it’s a testament to how much Endeavor cares about Hawks that he managed to zero in on that comment even amidst all the craziness of his eldest son returning from the dead to announce how he’s been carefully plotting their destruction for years and years. like, he heard “Hawks” and his face immediately went like that. you think he’s worried that Dabi did something to him? because he’d be right to worry lol

so the Endeavor Pamphlet narration is now explaining all about how Hawks totally killed the Number 3 Hero Best Jeanist as well! yep... he sure did... totally...

OH MY GOD WE’RE CUTTING TO HIM AHHHHH

Hawks, that is. lol. not Jeanist. NO, JUST MY POOR HALF-DEAD WINGLESS BABY SON

NOOOOO HIS LITTLE WING STUMPS. BUT SOMEHOW HIS FACIAL HAIR IS STILL INTACT. OH TO BE AN ANIME PRETTY BOY BEING SET ON FIRE. “HEY, TAKE IT EASY, WATCH THE FACE”

EXCUSE ME WHAT

interesting! we suspected as much, I think, with the clues that Ending dropped, and the little flashback right after the name reveal. still not clear how Dabi found out about it though!

looooool okay here we go, breaking out the heavy-handed holier-than-thou shit now

you know, I do find it interesting how trying to model themselves after All Might’s noble Symbol of Peace image has kind of ended up being the heroes’ undoing here. like, I could write a whole essay on this, but what it basically boils down to is that they were all trying too hard to be perfect. All Might went out there and did his thing and was amazing, and so the powers-that-be built an entire system centered around this seemingly-infallible person, and they acted like the system was infallible as well. and so most of the population ended up becoming complacent over the years, and meanwhile the people who were unfortunate enough to fall through the cracks understandably wound up disillusioned and perceiving the heroes as these false idols

anyway, but I think one positive takeaway from this is that the new up-and-coming generation of heroes represent a breakaway from that system. like, imo what we’re witnessing is the downfall of the Perfect Hero, and the rise of the imperfect hero. and this new generation doesn’t shy away from their failures or pretend like they never happened. they pretty much can’t pretend, because their failures are all right out there in the open for everyone to see. Bakugou Katsuki, just to name one example off the top of my very biased head, has had his own personal character journey basically play out right in front of the media’s eyes. his humiliation at the sports festival, his kidnapping by the League, and all of the fallout afterward. this isn’t someone who can ever go out there and convince the world that he’s perfect. but what he can do, instead, is show the world that he’s trying. that he’s trying with everything he has to do his best, to be the best. rather than this untouchable godlike image, it’s instead the image of someone painfully human who is nonetheless striving with everything he’s got to keep moving forward, flaws and all, and work his way to the top

and ultimately I think that’s going to be a much more positive image to send out to the world when all’s said and done. because rather than merely inspiring awe, heroes like that inspire people to take action themselves. or at least that’s what I hope! and not just Bakugou, but the others as well. we’ve got Shouto, whose own personal trauma is being aired in front of the whole nation even as I sit here ranting. we’ve got Deku, who cries at the drop of a hat, and who fought to become a hero despite being quirkless (and I think it’s only a matter of time before that eventually becomes public knowledge as well). tl;dr because I’m getting way too long-winded here, but these kids have effectively been humanized in a way that the old generation never was, and I think that’ll go a long way towards building trust between them and the people they’ll someday be protecting, and inspiring the next generation in hopefully a much healthier way

anyway so where were we. ...oh yes, Dabi was explaining that heroes only protect themselves, and is presumably building up to his grand conclusion of “therefore you should all just let the villains take over and burn down the world”

omfg. YOU GUYS

DOES CAN’T YA SEE-KUN’S SHARK FRIEND ACTUALLY CALL HIM “CAN’T YA SEE-KUN.” HE HAS A NAME YOU KNOW!! UNLESS HE LEGALLY GOT HIS NAME CHANGED TO CAN’T YA SEE-KUN. OH MY GOD

ALSO, IS THAT CAN’T YA SEE-KUN CRYING IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT THERE OMG. GIVE THIS CHILD A HUG. EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW AND HUG HIM

BAKUGOU IS BARELY HANGING ON THERE LOL. GOTTA STAY CONSCIOUS... SO MUCH TEA BEING SPILLED... FOCUS... CONCENTRATE

IIDA’S ANGLING HIS HEAD IN A WEIRD WAY, LIKE DUDE. LOOKING SUSPICIOUSLY SNUGGLY THERE. MMM THESE IIDABAKU CRUMBS

HADOU IS ALL “WHAT EVEN IS ACTUALLY GOING ON” LMAO

LASTLY, POOR SHOUTO OMFG. WHEN YOU’RE ALL FINISHED HUGGING CYS-KUN THIS CHILD NEEDS YOUR ATTENTION!!

so now Dabi’s leaping off of this ninety-foot-tall gargoyle man like that’s a normal, smart thing to do. unless he can fly too now? saw his dad doing it back at Fukuoka and was all “hmm”

OH MY GOD SOMEONE TELL ME RIGHT NOW WHAT WORD SHOUTO IS USING TO ADDRESS ENJI, THESE TRANSLATIONS LOVE TO MESS WITH MY HEAD

ENJI GET MOVING DO YOU NOT SEE THOSE TEARS!!! SNAP OUT OF IT YOU BIG TREE

AHHHHH

OH KACCHAN YOU WOKE UP A LITTLE MORE THERE, HUH

lol he and Deku both look so determined but they’re basically sitting ducks. their “oh shit” faces do look remarkably like their “TIME TO SWING INTO ACTION” faces but don’t be fooled, they have one good arm and about six pints of blood left between the two of them. looks like this one’s all on you Shouto

-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH --

BAH GOD... WHAT’S GOING ON HERE... THAT’S BEST JEANIST’S MUSIC

y’all. can’t even talk right now, my brain has completely shut down lol. just. ...

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