#This seems like a different style than my usual art and I don't think I can recreate it

[kira-light0]

Happy Trapper Tuesday everybody!!!

(Reference + closeups under the cut)

[chiropteracupola]

another tough day on the road

[dduane]

Judging books by their covers

Having spent the morning reading the notes on this post (and reading them, and reading them...), I realized I really needed to get to grips with a piece of work I'd been avoiding.

Some of you may remember me mentioning that the Young Wizards website's longtime ISP went out of business suddenly in July, necessitating the site's hasty relocation to a new home. In the process a lot of its internal URLs ceased to operate correctly, meaning that files weren't displaying. (As I was quickly reminded when looking for the original David Wiesner art for So You Want To Be A Wizard at 01:30 last night.)

Anyway, I just wound up spending the day rescanning book covers for the Young Wizards publication history page, and was reminded of some favorites while getting the work done. (And a note for the interested: if there's any particular cover from an English-language edition of the YW books that interests you, or you think the sight of one might jog your memory somehow, that page is where you'll find the images. Use the tabs under the header image to take you through the history of publishers and artists.)

Meanwhile, being reminded of what happened to the covers for So You Want To... alone is both funny and a bit sobering. Styles change, formats change, art directors change. Sometimes the covers get a lot better, and sometimes they, uh, don't. Look at the difference in styles alone among these, for example.

Most of the time the writer gets to take what they're given, and like it. Sometimes, though, they get to give advice.

Here, for example, is one time that happened.

This is for the UK hardcover of the first of the Feline Wizards books. The artist, Mick Posen, is a cat person... and he insisted on having pictures of the cats who inspired the NY worldgating team before he started painting. Just look at these three, especially Rhiow there in the foreground. Is this a hero, or what? :)

Here's one that caused a little controversy.

The question of the day: Is Nita wearing anything? And if so, what?

The art won Greg Swearingen a silver Spectrum Award for that Deep Wizardry painting. But he and my then-editor on the series, Michael Stearns, apparently got into it a little regarding a conflict between the text and the necessities of painting a YA cover. If I remember correctly, I think Greg was holding out for "She's not wearing anything in the text in this situation, she just turned human again after changing back from being a whale, she shouldn't be wearing anything here!" and Michael was saying "But the parents, what if we freak out the parents...!" ...Eventually it seems like some kind of compromise was achieved. Swirly light = magic, or something. (shrug) Not my problem. It's a lovely cover.

About this one I have, well, mixed feelings. At this end of time, the art looks clunky. Yet this is also my first bestseller. When the SF Book Club published this omnibus, Support Your Local Wizard quickly set records as their single most-requested item of all time for new members just signing up. Its print run ran to more than 250,000 copies, and it remained constantly in print until the Book Club itself ended.

I've always been fond of this one for Deep Wizardry, and also of the one the artist, Neal McPheeters, did for the Dell Yearling and Dell mass market paperback editions of So You Want To... . There's a solid quality to both of them, but the second one in particular, that appeals to me.

(For those in the notes on that other post who reacted immediately to Kit's antenna: This is one of the reasons why it features—along with one of Nita's wands from the rowan tree Liused—on all the covers of the revised/updated Young Wizards New Millennium Editions. I've seen a lot of memories jogged by its appearance.)

...Do I have a favorite favorite one of all these covers? As usual, it's hard to pick. But I have to admit that I smile, at the moment, when looking at this one—Greg Swearingen’s art again—since in a couple of weeks it'll be the fortieth anniversary of So You Want To Be A Wizard's publication.

We'll see what the publisher does for the fiftieth. :)

[mari-lair]

This spiraled out of control so I apologize in advance if you wanted something goofy, I must hit you with a brief analysis of Hanako's gender bend chapter before we get to the silly headcanons.

(heads up: I'll refer to girl Hanako as 'he' since he didn't seem bothered by Nene calling his girl form 'Hanako-kun', but if there are any hints I missed that genderbend Hanako prefers to use she/her I'll correct the pronouns.)

When Hanako is turned into a girl he lists things that only girls can do, and the chapter ends with him trying to seduce Kou, so that's something Hanako would consider off-limits normally.

Hanako's reaction reflects that, clearly flustered considering his heavy blush, but also unsure. Sweating. Out of his comfort zone.

It's interesting, cause being touchy and flirty is Hanako's comfort zone, he tends to exude a playful energy even when he barely knows the person: Be it girls or boys.

Yet flirting with Kou made him nervous?

Yes, because he isn't being touchy in a playfull way, he is explicitly tying his clinginess to the idea of attraction here, something he only ever does with girls. All his pervert gags are about girls, the idea he can be attracted to guys in that way is something he seemingly doesn't think about. Or if he does, he doesn't allow himself to express it.

Not as Hanako-kun, the boy, anyways.

I have never seen Hanako jump into someone's arms until he was turned into a girl. Even with Kou, he does his usual "I'll hug you from behind, sit on your shoulders, hug you from above, have you in my hold." approach to get his attention, which is a less stereotypical feminine way of being clingy than jumping in someone's arms.

So Hanako, who has somewhat of a 1960 mentality, seems to only let himself explicitly flirt with a guy when he hides behind a girly persona.

Just like he hides his vulnerability with a playful persona because a part of him genuinely loves teasing and being mischievous, he genuinely enjoys being a girl and doing things "only girls can do".

Dressing up is something he claims to not personally like, that he is 'just kidding', or that it isn't his really for him, but his behavior contradicts that. He wants to show off his new hairstyle with a big smile and a blush, not showing any distress at the gender or wardrope change.

He likely thought about styling up way before his girl transformation, considering we see him be "playful" in chapter 30, wanting Nene to paint his nails.

Maybe he wants to be cute? Cause "Cute" is a word girl Hanako uses a lot in the spin-off. He is constantly asking for reassurance that he is cute. And it is implied that what caught his attention and convinced him to let Nene dress him up was her saying it would make him 'cute'.

He wants to be a cute girl.

Not a sexy girl.

What does he always use to tease Kou? Indecent and lewd comments. He has a pervy humor that he didn't lose as a girl.

But despite the golden opportunity, it doesn't even cross his mind to tease Kou. He just asks Kou if he is cute, something that is personally important to Hanako.

The vastly different vibes between how he asks his dear assistant if he is cute (confident, excited, playful enough to go 'teehee') and how he asks the kid (nervous, flustered, dialogue full of '...' in it) is why I believe that on top of wanting the reassurance that he is a cute girl, Hanako also genuinely wants Kou to be attracted to his girl form.

He gets emo that he isn't Kou's type, not that he isn't cute. He explicitly says "I got rejected" So he was, even if subconsciously, serious in his seduction attempt.

Hanako is attached to Kou, but when he is a boy we don't get any heavy hints that Hanako wants to be seen as desirable by him. If he thought about flirting with Kou as a boy, (He sure was eager to jump in Kou's arms and play with his hair?? He play with Kou's hair! Wow...) he didn't show.

The closest we get is the promo art where Kou and Hanako are looking as far away from each other as possible and shifting in place, restless (either from anxiety or excitement). This is only noteworthy cause it is the first Valentine's Day art Aidairo posted.

And the way Hanako blushes, with little hearts, at the idea of biting Kou when he is zombified. (amyythestarry2's post was what made me aware of this scene, link: Here.)

If there are more moments I forgot, please let me know! But regardless of how he perceives Kou, we can say gender has an effect on how Hanako interacts with people. So it's hard to have a solid idea of how he would react if Kou turned into a girl.

You did ask for my opinion on it though, so below are my favorite headcanons!

I am a firm believer that Kou would not be a very feminine girl. He has a complex from getting the "mom role" at home and he wants to be "dependable, strong, and manly" so he would try to be as brash, 'tough', and boyish, as usual, occasionally switching to being self-conscious and mortified.

I can't see him wanting to wear dresses to fit his girl body, considering Mitsuba's loud displeasure didn't make him even consider taking his earring off and Kou isn't super into conforming anyways, he climb rooftops and scream at "air" so much he has a reputation in school, so it all boils down to personal preference and this official art shows how uncomfortable Kou looks compared to Hanako in a skirt/dress (is Kou crying here?? help-)

Just cause Kou isn't being cute doesn't change that being gender-bend would destroy the "Kou is a boy, and boys don't flirt with boys" box Hanako had trapped himself in.

For as much as Kou will express that he still wants to be treated as a boy, and Hanako doesn't make fun of things the kid is genuinely bothered by unprompted, it's... hard to pretend nothing has changed.

Baggy uniforms aside, Kou being a girl is still super feminine compared to usual, when Hanako playfully pokes Kou's cheek, he'll notice it's rounder now, he'll play with his longer hair with curiosity, and a tiny blush, notices Kou may still swing his raiteijou like a fighter but he got delicate hands now (we both know how different girls and boys hands are drawn in this manga, and Hanako like hands iughuyg) he got boobs too, Hanako is a 1960s pre-teen in his approach to attraction/sexuality, he will not be able to stay chill if girl Kou put him in a headlock for saying some dumb shit.

So Hanako goes in full '??' and '!!!' mode while trying to act normal, until he hits the same conclusion of "Wait, why am I panicking? I can flirt with the kid now! I can flirt with girls!!" and hides behind his playful persona to the max.

And since flirting with girls is something he is more used to, he will be more confused by how he feels when he wraps his arms around Kou in this new context, but also less nervous. Kou doesn't really take him too seriously though. "hanako is being clingy and playful and annoying." kind of dismissal.

When Nene shows up and tells Kou he should wear a girl's uniform, Kou will eventually cave in, cause he can't say no to Nene when she is genuinely so happy and eager to dress him up! He is more awkward and shy in a dress, his caring side also shine with Nene.

Kou is super sweet with Nene, when she cries that Kou has slender legs as a girl, Kou will reassure her that Nene is the one super cute.

That's the kind of girl Hanako likes on a very superficial level: feminine girls. Sweet girls.

And he already likes Kou as a boy, so this mix of different attractions to his caring side and his boyish attitude will make him want to explode. Hanako is full on ba-dum ba-dum mode and he have no idea what to do about it.

Think of this scene where Nene dresses up and the change in her appearance flusters him so much he gets overwhelmed and confused. He doesn't know what to do when he thinks she is being cuter than normal, so he defaults to making fun of her with something he finds attractive (her chunky legs) but knows she personally hates it.

Any confusion that comes with being flustered would increase tenfold with Kou cause he is aware Kou looks like a cute girl but he is not? Like he is, currently, but he is also attracted to Kou's normal attitude? His wide smiles, his goofy attitude, is all the same, and he always found it kind of endearing before, but is so cute now?? Attractive??

So what does he do? Act like an asshole to protect himself, just poke at his insecurities to hide how much Kou affects him, only to go to far and feel awful about it when Kou is visibly upset by it.

it would be one messy event.

[anghraine]

thatinsufferableb-st-rd said:

@anghraine so i have read the books multiple times and am an avid fan of the movies. I enjoy both for what they are. I think the main difference is that Peter Jackson was very open about what they chose to cut and why from anything I've ever seen. They even have Sam give a nod to the book readers by saying "by rights we shouldn't even be here". No I'm not happy about what they did with Faramir and Glorfindel got jipped, and I would have lover to have seen Elronds sons but at the end of the day there were acknowledgments of what and why. Rings of Power to me has always come off as hiding from any criticism by using the shield of "well if you don't like it it's because you don't like POCs in it". To which I genuinely could not give a fuck less, like there are so many branches of elves that went different ways so that could make sense within what Tolkein established. But don't hide behind that when your writing is just "Sauron is evil. We know. And we know she knows. But we have to make it seem like she's the only one who Has A Clue so we must all try to shoo her off to make a plotline"

@lesbiansforboromir has already correctly and politely pointed out that you are doing the very thing we were criticizing in that post—intruding on ROP fan discussion to unfavorably contrast the show to the Peter Jackson films, while also applying a degree of scrutiny to ROP that the Jackson films are rarely subject to in a remotely comparable way and could not bear. Frankly, @lesbiansforboromir is nicer and more restrained than I am about this, but you chose to tag me as well, so I'll also respond.

We (lesbiansforboromir and I) were talking about being excited about costuming in S2 of ROP and disliking the fandom meltdowns over ROP's costuming looking (somewhat) different from the films' aesthetic. Since it had already come up in their discussion, I added that I'm not convinced by the anti-ROP contingent framing their seething hatred of the costuming and design as just caring so much about fidelity to Tolkien's vision. I pointed out that Tolkien fandom broadly cares far more about their preferred, film-influenced aesthetics than Tolkien's actual descriptions and gave some specific examples of this.

There's been a lot of talk, for instance, about how the universally long, flowing hair for Elves preferred by the fandom and used in the films is actually totally canon according to Tolkien even if it's rarely mentioned in LOTR proper. This is inaccurate. Galadriel's brother Aegnor is typically depicted in the fandom/film-preferred style rather than per Tolkien's description of his hair as "strong and stiff, rising upon his head like flames" (indeed, in general neither Aegnor nor anyone else is ever depicted this way, and this description rarely shows up in the lists of "no it's about ethics in adaptation" Tolkien hair quotes).

Tolkien repeatedly describes Elvish, peredhel, and Dúnadan women as wearing their hair bound up in braided coiffures with jeweled hair pieces/nets rather than loose and flowing à la the films and the fandom. Nobody cares, any more than they care about Tolkien's description of Arwen's clothing as soft, grey, and noticeably devoid of ornamentation apart from a belt and netted cap (i.e. the opposite of her highly elaborate film costuming and typically loose, unbound, uncovered hair in the films and most illustrations).

Meanwhile, my fave Faramir's hair is nowhere near long enough in the films or most art to mingle with Éowyn's as Tolkien describes. It's usually also depicted as blond, reddish, or brown rather than black as in the book; in Tolkien's LOTR, all described Gondorians have dark or black hair, with the only difference in coloring being that some Gondorians are dark-skinned and some are pale. Again, almost nobody in the fandom cares about this when they're going on about costume design and casting to reflect Tolkien's vision, and male Gondorians are overwhelmingly depicted with short or shoulder-length hair in the films and in Tolkien illustrations.

Popular depictions of Gondor, including the Gondor of the films, very rarely reflect Tolkien's description of Gondor's aesthetic as similar to ancient Egypt, the Byzantine Empire, and the Roman Empire. Film Gondor has, at most, extremely vague allusions to Byzantine architecture amidst the general and deliberate westernization of Gondor's design—as just one example among many, Tolkien's explicitly Egyptian-based design for the royal crown of Gondor is converted to a generically western European-style crown in the films and overwhelmingly in the fandom.

I then pointed out that it's been very noticeable that ROP haters tend to have a powerful double standard wrt fidelity when it comes to the Jackson films. For over 20 years, most film fans have been constitutionally incapable of tolerating even slight criticism of the films without jumping in to defend their greatness and condescendingly explain the most basic elements of adaptation. (Yes, we know film is not the same medium as text, we know changes are part of adaptation to another medium, we all know that, we all know that a word-for-word adaptation would suck and never be made, this is not new information and does not make the PJ films' every choice a good one.) Yet most film LOTR fans who vocally despise ROP display none of the charity towards ROP that they demand for the films (demand even from someone like Christopher Tolkien, a dead man the entire fandom is deeply indebted to, whose dislike of the films still leads to regular attacks on his character from Jackson film stans).

This hypercritical yet hyperdefensive tendency in the fandom is neatly illustrated by the fact that you responded to a conversation about the double standards in evaluations of ROP's costuming vs the films' to go on about how ROP is objectively bad for reasons entirely unrelated to costuming, how you're totally not racist (something nobody was talking about), and to quote you directly, "Like the show was just Bad." Truly, an incisive critique. Meanwhile, your concessions with regard to the Jackson films are mainly about extremely minor and defensible omissions like removing Glorfindel and the sons of Elrond rather than the serious and fundamental problems that lesbiansforboromir and I have with them, or even the ways they do pretty much the exact same things you're lambasting ROP for.

I mean, if we're going to talk about action hero Elves in ROP vs the Jackson films, what about the action hero-ification of Legolas in the films? He was described by Tolkien himself as the Fellowship member who accomplished the least, so super badass battle-skateboarding Legolas hardly represents fidelity to Tolkien's vision. Why should that get a pass while film-stanning ROP haters seethe about ROP!Galadriel being too special, even though Tolkien described her as one of the most special Elves to ever live and specifically as remarkably athletic and insightful?

Meanwhile, film Gimli is reduced to comic relief, the only dwarves taken seriously are conventionally hot ones in The Hobbit films, and Frodo's expressions of strength and fortitude are consistently removed to glorify other characters. Film Gondorians were deliberately designed to seem like useless tin soldiers (which they are in the films, as well as whiter and blonder than Tolkien wrote them) rather than the physically imposing and highly effective fighting force of the book. ROP imagining Elvish rituals upon approaching Valinor that aren't based in Tolkien canon but don't directly conflict with it is absolutely trivial compared to the films' handling of Denethor and Faramir.

The point is not that you, personally, are not allowed to like the films or dislike ROP despite all this. Many people do love the films, including most of my followers. They do have their strengths, though they are extremely racist and few film fans will acknowledge this without soft-pedaling it in some way (esp, since you brought it up, given the context of the truly unhinged degree of racism that has accompanied much of the broader discourse around ROP).

The point is that film fans who hate ROP are constantly showing up in our conversations to be "well actually ROP is just objectively bad, unlike the films, because the show has failings that are also in the films but it's totally different there because of the contents of Peter Jackson's soul" or whatever. The point is the absolutely glaring and obnoxiously hypocritical double standard of defensiveness about the films and obsessive nitpicking of ROP that leads to ROP haters continually going on rants to ROP fans that are unwelcome, uninvited, and usually (as in this case) irrelevant to what was even being discussed.

[not-terezi-pyrope]

Ok. It's pretty clear you are more welcoming of AI, and it does have enough merits to not be given a knee jerk reaction outright.

And how the current anti-ai stealing programs could be misused.

But isn't so much of the models built on stolen art? That is one of the big thing keeping me from freely enjoying it.

The stolen art is a thing that needs to be addressed.

Though i agree that the ways that such addressing are being done in are not ideal. Counterproductive even.

I could make a quip here and be like "stolen art??? But the art is all still there, and it looks fine to me!" And that would be a salient point about the silliness of digital theft as a concept, but I know that wouldn't actually address your point because what you're actually talking about is art appropriation by generative AI models.

But the thing is that generative AI models don't really do that, either. They train on publicly posted images and derive a sort of metadata - more specifically, they build a feature space mapping out different visual concepts together with text that refers to them. This is then used at the generative stage in order to produce new images based on the denoising predictions of that abstract feature model. No output is created that hasn't gone through that multi-stage level of abstraction from the training data, and none of the original training images are directly used at all.

Due to various flaws in the process, you can sometimes get a model to output images extremely similar to particular training images, and it is also possible to get a model to pastiche a particular artist's work or style, but this is something that humans can also do and is a problem with the individual image that has been created, rather than the process in general.

Training an AI model is pretty clearly fair use, because you're not even really re-using the training images - you're deriving metadata that describes them, and using them to build new images. This is far more comparable to the process by which human artists learn concepts than the weird sort of "theft collage" that people seem to be convinced is going on. In many cases, the much larger training corpus of generative AI models means that an output will be far more abstracted from any identifiable source data (source data in fact is usually not identifiable) than a human being drawing from a reference, something we all agree is perfectly fine!

The only difference is that the AI process is happening in a computer with tangible data, and is therefore quantifiable. This seems to convince people that it is in some way more ontologically derivative than any other artistic process, because computers are assumed to be copying whereas the human brain can impart its own mystical juju of originality.

I'm a materialist and think this is very silly. The valid concerns around AI are to do with how society is unprepared for increased automation, but that's an entirely different conversation from the art theft one, and the latter actively distracts from the former. The complete refusal from some people to even engage with AI's existence out of disgust also makes it harder to solve the real problem around its implementation.

This sucks, because for a lot of people it's not really about copyright or intellectual property anyway. It's about that automation threat, and a sort of human condition anxiety about being supplanted and replaced by automation. That's a whole mess of emotions and genuine labour concerns that we need to work through and break down and resolve, but reactionary egg-throwing at all things related to machine learning is counterproductive to that, as is reading out legal mantras paraphrasing megacorps looking to expand copyright law to over shit like "art style".

I've spoken about this more elsewhere if you look at my blog's AI tag.

[wayfind-er]

10 Ways to Honor Psyche

There is no information about how Psyche was honored in antiquity; therefore, these methods are all my UPGs.

Embrace the Arts & Humanities: Psyche is the Goddess and Personification of the Soul; take some time to study Arts and Humanities. Watch a musical, visit a museum, read up on ancient Philosophy, or do something related to the arts in Her name.

Create a self-care routine in Her honor: Self-care is important to Psyche and to your mental well-being. Consider incorporating Her into your regular self-care routine or making a new routine for Her. I've added sigils of the asteroid Psyche to my skin-care products so that whenever I use them, I am reminded of Her. You can do something similar or come up with something that works for you!

Write a letter to Her (or someone you love): This doesn't have to be anything super complicated. I like to write letters to Her about my week. If something needs to be said to a loved one, you can do that in Her honor, too (e.g., gift cards, letters, telling a loved one something important, etc.).

Watch a reality show (or lifestyle videos on YouTube): There's nothing better than watching reality shows, and Psyche seems to enjoy them. It's a fun way to see an exaggerated version of life. You can watch anything ranging from the trashy reality shows, to cooking shows. If those don't pique your interest, you can watch lifestyle videos on YouTube, too, to honor Psyche.

Dedicate some time to meditate in Her name: Even if it is only 10 minutes, practice mindfulness in Her name.

Spend some time doing shadow work/journaling:  I recommend setting aside, like, 15 minutes and just writing what's on your mind. You can Google shadow work prompts and use one of those or just write about whatever comes to mind. You can dedicate the exercise to Psyche. As a bonus, if you're feeling up to it, you can then read what you wrote to Her (either aloud or in your head).

Hang out with your loved ones: Just spend time with the people you love. You don't need to do anything special or fancy. If you love someone, you should spend time with them. Psyche would be happy if you did that in Her honor.

Spend time unwinding and relaxing: Sometimes, doing nothing is harder than being ultra-productive. You don't always /NEED/ to be doing something in Her honor. If you can't take a break, do so in Her name. You and Her could both probably use it.

Dress up in Her Honor (even if you're dressing up to stay home): Psyche loves nice things and feeling pretty. Put together that cute outfit you've been thinking of, and try on those shoes that are a bit bolder than you'd usually like; dress up and expand your horizon some. **If you can't afford to experiment with your clothes, consider making a vision or mood board of the style you'd like to try.

Learn about a new/different culture: Psyche is the Personification of the Soul and seems very interested in learning about people. Consider learning about a different culture than the one you live in. It may be the culture of your ancestors or a culture that just seems interesting to you. Consider watching videos on different cultures or reading scholarly papers with primary sources.

I tried to list some unique ways to Honor & Worship Psyche that I use in my practice. There are a bunch of other lists that come with different suggestions. If you haven't already, I recommend @/khaire-traveler's Subtle Worship of Psyche, and @/differentsoulsweets' Introduction to Psyche blog. Star and dot divider by @/cafekistune

[liberumalas]

I LOVE YOUR DRAWINGS/ ART STYLE ALASTOR AS A CHILD IS SO CUTE !!!

What do you think baby and child Alastor was like growing up like personality and how did he get along with others and what he was like at school? Do you think he was a hard to handle baby or one of those quiet ones (fully conscious baby lol 😭)

ATTENTION, THESE ARE ALL HEADCANNONS. I'll refer back to canon when there is information but we don't know much of Alastors early life. Or of anything about him at all that much. This is gonna be a loooong one...

I also think, I'll colour code a little; orange is what is actually canon and blue is the stuff that i thik ive read somewhere but might not be true or might become outdated.

I. Alastor and mental health

I think it is very likely that Alastor has ASPD (antisocial personality disorder) othervise known as psychopathy. Now people with this disorder are not inherently evil, but I'd think their upbringing takes a lot more care, attention and knowledge than the avarege person because people with aspd don't experience empathy, and regret after hurting someone or at least these feelings are very limited. They are also very likely to disregard rules, be reckless, agressive, impulsive, decietful, etc...

Alastors childhood propably stems from the 1900s to the early 1920s roughly (we don't know when he was born, only that he died in 1933 and was in his 30s-40s). Psychology was not as advanced as it is today, and it was especially propably unavailable for a child of colour.

So I think that Alastors behavior was very poorly managed throughout his childhood, leading to him becoming a not very good person (a serial killer).

II. School life

In school he'd act violent toward classmates he didn't favor. It's been said that he has a messed up moral code, but a moral code still, so I'd imagine that means either getting revenge for those who were wronged in some way and could not protect themselves (and Alastor actually liked them) or protecting those who cannot protect themselves. Either way, these likely ended up in Alastor beating another boy up, putting glass shards in his sandwich or ruining his stautus or reputation in some way. In fights he'd be creative and use his surroundings, other than mindless punching. Oh, look, a rock! And a scissor! Oh, boy is it my lucky day? It must be becuse there is a glass bottle at hand!

Towards his friends (whom were very likely all girls) he'd act very polite, charming and even kind. He'd enjoy spending time with them instead of other young boys who were a lot less mature and sometimes straight up repulsive and barbaric. Him and his friends would hang out, gossip, dance, etc, he was always just *one of the girls* lol. This is also where I'd imagine the moral code comes in, because of early 1900s mentality and sexism and boys bothering girls and Alastor standing up for them and those were very different times and Alastor just seems like a very uniqe case.

So he'd get into trouble all. The. Time. His poor mother is just tired and at a loss at this point. Nothing makes this kid behave better, there is no use of punishing him, she (or his father) can beat him (reminder that those were different times), talk to him, talk to teachers, punish him with chores and work, nothing works. It is a miracle he wasn't arrested yet.

III. General behavior and perception

I think he was always very confident, charismatic and passive agressive rather than outright violent (which he reserved for those he particularly hated and actually could fight or trick). He was polite usually (his mother thought him well in that regard, and being polite is very useful anyways) and very intelligent and tactical. People rarely caught onto his mischief and the targets would usually be too afraid to speak out. Usually. Or just be annoyed and if the target was an adult, hooo boy.

I think the people who knew him would see him as a troublemaker but someone who would have great potential if he wasn't such an annoying pain in the ass. He is theatrical, dramatic at times, they just really didn't know what to make of this kid. People who didn't know him would see him as a good kid, who has a strange sparkle in his eyes that could be something harmless and innocent or something that is very worrysome. Family thought he was strange, worrying, but outside that, helpful and a sweet kid. Other than the beating classmates up.

IV. Family stuff. God help me...

So... this is the part where the source of angst for every Alastor fanfiction comes from.

-About his mother:

I have two versions for this.

The first one being that his mother was a caring, sweet as candied apple but a very troubled person. Troubled because of her husband, his son and society. But she was also very firm and and had a spine, and she was a great scource of inspiration for Alastor. He loved her very much (in his own way) and enjoyed being around her.

In the second version, she was very unstable, propably had some kind of mild to severe mental illness (along the lines of scizofrenia or psycosis). She had her good or better times and then the bad times. It got worse as time wnent on and again, no psychology help for women especially creole or poc women (fyi we don't actually know, which of Alastors parents was creole and which one was white or smth else. All we know is that he himself is mixed creole and I assume, people gave the creole part to his mother because it fits the story better I guess). Again, troubling husband and son, even though Alastor would recognise her need for help and would decide to help her in the little ways he could. She was still kind to him and loved him very very much, but her illness and her son's just made everything so much more difficult.

Alright those are the two versions. Some common traits would be that they liked to cook together, Alastor loved his mother's cooking and they'd both like jazz and swing and all these types of fun. She encoureged him throughout his life, though she likely didn't know about his serial killer hobby later in life.

And oh boy, oh, man, the father of the year.

-Dear old Dad.

I don't think that for Alastor to have a valid reason to hate him (and by extension almost all men) his father had to be phisically abusive, even though beating or hitting your child was common practice to punish them. What I mean is he didn't have to throw bottles at his son's head, beat him to a bloody pulp or strangle him and his mother for Alastor to hate his guts. I think that him being pathetic and disgusting in Alastor's eyes is very much enough and maybe makes even more sense. Hear me out.

Think about the stereotypical man. The ones women oh so hate. He drinks, he smokes so much, you can't see him, he cheats and lies and he is just a mean little bitch.

(I'm a man myself, don't kill me, I wrote that from the perspective of Alastor Manhater.)

And if his father did these things that were (are somewhat still unfortunately) not at all uncommon among other men, Alastor's hatred of this can be easily extended to every man who cannot prove otherwise. Maybe even those who can or could.

So I think that while it is possible that dear ol' Dad was horribly violent towards his family, it would be a lot less clichè and maybe even make more sense for him to be a pathetic cheater who drinks and smokes and is just unpleasant to be around.

Alastor would fucking hate his guts. His father is rude to his mother and to him, he is useless, he is pathetic, he is spending the hard earned money on cigarettes, alcohol and brothels. He lies, he's mean, he's just a horrible person.

Alastor would never want to be like him, though ironically some traits he can't help but learn from him. Lying, being mean to others, he'd also as an adult would occaisionally smoke.

I also think that his relationship with his gender is not the best, in a sense that he doesn't like being a boy, because all boys are douchebags and he doesn't want to be a douchebag. Not like his father anyway.

Okay, closing words.

First of all, I'm not a native english speaker and i wrote this very very late.

Second of all, this is, again all just my idea of what Alastors early life might have looked like. Season 2 is coming soon and it was said that Alastors backstory would be important and would be explored, although that could mean his arrival and early times in Hell as well, we'll have to see.

If you yourself have any other ideas or thoughts or you think I got something wrong, comment it, I'd love to read other fans' thoughts!

Anyways, thank you for reading this far! I'd love to write in a similar format about Alastor's time as an adult or a mixed person working in radio in the late 1920s to early 1930s, so let me know, if that intetests you! I'll propably do better research for that, in this one most of the history knowledge is from memory, so if ive made any errors, again, let me know.

Alright, goodbye now.

[hermitw]

What I rly want to know is why Gojo doesn't cover his eyes sometimes. [manga spoilers ahead ig, self harm mention]

After he awakened with RCT in the hidden inventory arc, he went out to reclaim Riko's body without them. Maybe they broke during his fight with Toji, idk.

But after he leaves the prison realm, Gojo never covers his eyes again.

My main thought was that it's out of hypervigilance. He won't let his guard down, even if it hurts. Maybe he needs specific glasses /fabric (I think Gojo has sensory issues).

Maybe he felt fine without them when he learned RCT, and he seemed pretty high then anyway so I don't think that time rly needs to have a solid explanation.

But after leaving the prison realm, he rly looked different. Maybe it's in part from Gege's art style change, or the awakening of so many sorcerers during the culling game. People say he was always that muscular, just was covered by clothes but I disagree. His facial structure is wider, we saw his skeletal collarbones at least during the flashback in the yasohachi bridge arc (which happened after the exchange event, so not that long ago). I guess what I'm saying is that Gojo changed since getting sealed, and I'm not sure in what ways. I think that seeing Kenjaku in Geto's body altered his mind too.

Maybe he's doing it as a form of self harm. Like when Sukuna switched back with Yuuji in Shibuya, the first thing he did was scrape his fingertips on the street and tear them apart. Which he knew would be painful from the detention center, he hardly reacted to losing a hand but lost it when the other was burning away from the fingertips, which are rly sensitive. Whether to cover one pain with another or try to punish the shortcomings out of themselves, I'm not sure, but would guess that it's both.

That seems like the most likely answer. And now. I'm sad. Again

Anywayyyy Gojo Satoru do you no longer get headaches? Pls explain

EDIT TO ADD:

I think now that it was to practice running RCT stronger than usual. He'd need to do that for the fight with Sukuna.

Before I thought it would have been better for Gojo to not wear himself down leading up to it. Especially when as far as I remember, he's surrounded by capable sorcerers whenever we see him. It isn't like Gojo needs to protect anyone so intensely that he can't wear anything over his eyes.

Edit 2: updated since Gojo's schedule has come out

[abby118]

hi! your post about loki's costumes the other day was really interesting :D since you're talking about thor, what are your thoughts on *thor's* costuming?

Hiii I'm so glad you asked! :D

There are numerous paragraphs in the The Art of books talking about this topic, but to preface this, I'll mention these from the first book:

(concept art by Charlie Wen)

As I've already said in the post about Loki's costume design, the helmet design is a part of Odin's helmet design. (X) Although, we only see Thor wearing it once, during his coronation.

-again, I really like the colours they chose for him, especially considering the fact that silver seems to be a bit rarer than gold in Asgard, and red is the complementary/opposite colour to green. Odin also wears a combination of gold & silver.

-of course, I have to mention the chainmail sleeves.

I know many people like the cirular elements to his armour (and the runes around the circles!), but I, personally, like the pattern of the metal and its combination with leather.

-Obviously, Mjölnir is a topic on its own and I would go into a complete tangent, but I felt it needed to be mentioned at least once.

-Another detail I like, is that most of the time, Thor's armour is pretty heavy (especially when compared to some of Loki's). He's got a lot of metal and I think it reflects his combat style in a way. Unlike Loki, he doesn't strike me as someone who'd need a lot of agility, mainly because his fighting style is very force-focused and well.. Mjölnir does the job.

-Moving on to the first Avengers, at first, the armour composition is slightly different. There's more leather and the contrasting colours are more visible. I like to think this is a bit of a nod to him being on Midgard. Of course, once it gets to the fight with the Chitauri army, he returns back to his usual battle setup, I don't know what else to call it.

I think my favourite detail is the armguard with the symbol of Loki's helmet on it.

-His TDW armour is probably my favourite, and I think that's because it's more fitting for actual battle (as he'd been "restoring the order of the 9 realms"), and then we get a glipse of a more daily life on Asgard compared to the ones we'd seen prior. It's also darker, which.. is a nice detail in context of the movie, as well as the story by that point.

It also seems more practical in terms of actual protection (although, I'm sure having the long cape attached to himself is notoriously inconvenient).

(concept art by Charlie Wen)

Unlike most people, I absolutely love the black leather cloak. (I also recommend checking out this article- X)

One tiny detail I noticed is the zipper-like lining they used that's similar to the lining seen in Loki's armour.

-Thor doesn't really like wearing the chainmail does he? It's a tradition at this point.

-and an honourable mention: this outfit from Avengers Age of Ultron.

[huntinglove]

How to get away from antiship spaces (mostly)

Warnings: Long post, antis mention, mentions of pedophilia, rape, self harm and gore (none show, not descriptive)

Have you recently learned that you align yourself with the proship label? Would you like to get away from antis as safely as you can? Here's what I've learned, as an ex anti:

1. It may be hard, but try to get rid of/abandon your accounts where you used to interact with antis.

This is one of the hardest steps because having a lot of followers can be discouraging, but it's the safest approach in this situation, because if antis see you following or interacting with proshippers they WILL question you about it and depending on how you tackle their asks they'll throw you to the wolves and publicly "warn" people about you so people can mass report your account/harass you

This applies to anything; Tumblr blogs, Twitter profiles, Discord servers, if you've interacted with antis block them and delete your account if you decide to adopt the proship label

Antis constantly claim that they don't harass people but as soon as someone drops the anti label they dogpile them and call them "traitors" as well as their usual buzzwords to catch people's attention, it's better to pull the plug directly than just rebrand your account

1.5. If you REALLY want to keep your account because you've used it for a long time or because it works as a portfolio, please create a different account to post about proship content

If you make a new account remember to block your anti mutuals/followers from your main account before you start posting, art styles can be very unique and easy to spot similarities in, as well as typing patterns and reoccurring emojis/symbols

If there's the option to, keep your profile private until you've built a steady environment for yourself, if you prefer to keep your profile private permanently that's also a good option!

Remember, your safety matters more than numbers on a screen!

2. This one should go without saying but, please don't share much of your trauma/mental health issues/triggers with people online in general, but especially not with antis

I used to talk about my struggles and vent publicly a lot, antis would stalk my accounts and send me all types of fucked up content.

I've had people send me rape videos and threats, people telling me I deserved the abuse I went through, people would send me gore and self harm images, as well as suicide tutorials.

They can and will use all of it to their advantage, they're restless and will dig up even decade old posts if they feel it'll be useful for them. It can and will take a toll on your mental health, so please save yourself the trouble and only open up with people you genuinely trust and feel safe talking to!

You're not alone, but please don't let dangerous people take advantage of you when you're at a bad spot

3. Keep an eye on your followers, especially if your profiles are public. There are always some things to look out for to make sure your followers aren't antis pretending to be proshippers

According to my personal experience, here's some red flags to look out for:

A.Antis think that the word proship means problematic ship, so they'll refer to pairings as "a proship"

Most proshippers dislike this terminology because it comes from an incorrect definition and usually avoid it

B. TikTok antis specifically come up and use a lot of emoji combos, creating meanings for them and usually adding one or two combos that are actually known to proshippers, along with some never seen before

A lot of the time they use it to identify themselves, a sign that means "I'm not actually a proshipper, just baiting"

I've also seen antis use the clover emoji in combos, inspired by the "clovergender/cloversexual" scam that 4channers came up with, to make it seem like the LGBTQ+ community was welcoming to offending pedophiles. Antis do this because they assimilate the proship label with problematic ships, mostly age gaps/underage content

C. Their account is brand new but they already follow a lot of proshippers. This is usually because they'll follow proshippers who've been posted on a blocklist, usually in the exact order that they've been listed too

If they're on Tumblr, they'll usually keep the people they follow public, so that other antis can find and harass those proshippers

D. Keep an eye on their follow list. Like stated above, they'll usually keep it public and 9 times out of 10 there will be an out of place antiship account, it's most likely their main profile/account/blog

E. They'll use their usual buzzwords on their own posts

For example, if they're trying to mimic a proselfship account they'll post pictures of underage characters and caption it things like "omg i'm such a pedo" and tag their post with proship related tags

Of course this doesn't apply to everyone, so it's always important to take context into consideration, as well as how many of these red flags may apply.

And lastly, please remember that the block button is your friend.

If someone's interacting with you and something about them seems/feels off, block and move on

[skykashi]

So I just had to turn off the reblogs of the Gai art, it seems like some popular blog reblogged the post with the ridiculous reblog of the baseless accusations that has absolutely no evidence or proof whatsoever and ppl have been reblogging it from them to point me out as the new villain on Tumblr, just because someone think they are too smart for this world and has a built-in AI detection sensors in their brain that they can throw serious accusations like that with literally nothing to back it up except that their Spidey senses are tingling!

I just can't believe how easy it is to destroy someone's reputation and years of hard work in seconds just because someone wanted to, you have no idea how discouraging this whole thing is, to work your butt off to create something just to be met with this at the end, am I supposed to record the process of every artwork I create and post it with my artworks from now on? How am I supposed to keep working on myself and challenge myself to get out of my comfort zone and improve my skills if the second I post something a little different from the usual I get attached like this? You have no idea how hard it is to have to work with such a crappy tablet, how time and effort consuming it is to keep trying to create something pretty on a lagging screen and no pen pressure sensitivity, but I have no choice but to be stubborn and determined enough to just keep trying anyway and spend 10x more time and effort than anyone else because that's what I love to do and it's limiting my creativity so much but I just have to make it work with what I can afford... and then the one time I had enough motivation coming from wanting to create something that will put a smile on my friend's @depressedhatakekakashi face just like they continue to put a smile on my face so I chose to do something different this time for them, something that I don't usually go for because of how extremely hard it will be on a stupid tablet like mine but my appreciation and gratitude for them gave me the push I needed to do it and challenge those limitations even further, not knowing that there's someone lurking in the shadows waiting for a moment like that to destroy all of my hard work.

First, they said "oh, I think it's AI because some parts look pixilated" so I recorded a video showing how things get pixilated when I move them between Adobe Illustrator and Clip Studio Paint and why I'm forced to use both software together for a piece like this so they then say "I don't understand how what you said is relevant" then changed their reason to "because the art style in this piece looks different from your usual art style" and um, my usual art style is meant to look like cartoon and this one is meant to look realistic HOW COULD IT NOT LOOK DIFFERENT?!!!, like I don't understand, am I stuck with only one type of artwork now because that's what I usually do? Am I not allowed to try something new for a change or try to challenge myself or develop my skills? Can someone tell me where I can get a permit to have freedom with my creations? Or am I supposed to just stop trying all together?!!!

[meanbossart]

Asks about VaM, art advice, and miscellaneous stuffs

HI! Real quick please refrain from referring to Sad Sack as S/S for the uh... Obviously reasons LOL We call it "sads" for short!

If what you're asking for are recommendations for a website to host that kind of thing, Neocities, Twitter, Itchio and as you mentioned AO3 are all perfectly good options! Patreon too (depending on how gnarly you're planning on getting) but I'd suggest keeping that as a secondary host option because I don't think it lends itself super well for getting your work circulating. I believe Bluesky allows that kind of thing too, but I'm not too sure since I don't use it.

Now, If you're asking about public reaction rather than guidelines, anywhere you go you might find people that don't jive with the work you do 🤷 just be upfront about the type of content you're making right off the bat to avoid having anyone stumble upon it by accident to the best of your abilities, otherwise, I wouldn't worry too much. I know we're constantly exposed to examples of overwhelming harassment and "dogpilling" happening to others but... Truth be told, most of us won't ever get to the size/internet level of fame where we experience that. I think the threat is a little bit... Overstated, nowadays. Not to mention that most of the time people are getting harassment for things that have nothing to do with their work, and rather relating to their behavior and attitudes. Play smart, be responsible, and be honest! Whatever comes next is in god's hands LOL

Thank you for the ask! Not sure I was of much help 😅 but frankly when you're just starting out it's best to focus on getting the work done first and just throwing it out there, wherever it may be. You can worry about technicalities like that later!

I GOT YOU MAN the full sketch is now up on my patreon!

YES AND YES WHETHER IT BE STORIES OR ART OF DU DROW AND YOUR CHARACTERS SLAMMING PINTS TOGETHER BE MY GUEST PLEASE

I love seeing everyone's take on my weirdo so much, anything is honestly welcomed!

AW DUDE thank you so much! Especially for suffering through the mammoth of a story that ANE turned into - writing has never been my strongest point so I'm always shocked to hear from people that enjoy it 🥲

About the booze question, honestly I'm not picky at all, I usually go by price and by that I mean whatever is cheapest LOL but I prefer a dry white as far as types go.

You only have to pay for it once! You get a code that unlocks the software and all of it's features and you're free to cancel your subscription after that. At some point the code might change or there might be an update that requires subscribing again - but that seems like a very rare occurrence so I wouldn't worry about it.

OH NO I HAVE DEFINITELY TRACED MY OWN REFERENCE BEFORE, but not entire poses! When something is challenging I'll make a point of drawing it out the usual way.

I can remember a couple of instances from Nick and mine's comic where I traced pictures I took of myself, just as a time saving measure. Again like I said in the post, there are several ways to employ tracing your own material that is perfectly acceptable. I have also traced bare-bones 3D backgrounds that I made for the same reasons.

I know you specifically asked about tracing when something's complicated, but I still wanted to be upfront to demystify the practice under different circumstances. The rule of thumb is to never use it when you know it would be inhibiting your skill development!

Happy to hear you wanted to pick up the skill! I definitely understand the urge too LOL since playing BG3 and becoming so invested in the stories and characters my art has improved a ton, simply from forcing me out of my usual style and making me want to capture different moods and scenarios - finding something you're passionate to draw is, frankly a great damn start.

I replied to a bunch of asks asking for pointers and advice a while back, one of the questions was very similar to yours and I still stand behind the advice I gave then. Hopefully you can find something helpful here! https://meanbossart.tumblr.com/post/740543514692173824/some-art-advice-asks-ive-been-meaning-to-reply

HMMM I don't usually think of myself as the best teacher/tutorial guy, but funnily enough I can think of a few things about this topic that I could elaborate on lol. If I do that in the near future, I'll put it up on my patreon (for free as with everything else.)

If there are any specific things about it that you (and anyone else who would be interested in it, for that matter) find challenging and would like for me to focus on, let me know!

---

That's all for now folks, and as usual thank you so much to everyone who's left a nice compliment, word of encouragement or funny tidbit in my inbox as well! I can't reply to you all individually, but I see and read all the messages I get c:

HAVE A LOVELY REST OF YOUR WEEK

[juustozzi]

@thepinksky18 hello, and thank you sm!! <3 I hope it's okay to reply like this, I got kinda carried away with reference images..! I can try to share some things that help me with my art, hopefully they'll be of some help for you too!

when I do group pics like this, the thing I focus on the most is how everything looks and feels together! details and stuff can wait for later, first is to figure out that the overall picture works, and the characters are in balance with each other!

I'll use the Tenma horse pic you replied to as an example, will be continued under read more!

here's the sketches for the art! the very first sketch is very simple and blocky (I usually use a thick brush) to just settle everything in place and see how it all works out. the second sketch is more detailed and sometimes deviates from the first sketch a lot, if something seems to work better some other way.

depending on the complexity of the finished art, I do just these two sketches or add one more even detailed one, but the last sketch before lineart is the one I tweak the most! usually I draw characters on different layers so it's easy to select them separately and resize, fix proportions or positions, etc. to make the big picture look good to you!

here's the lineart (which could also be the 3rd sketch) compared to the previous layer. now I'm adding more details, but I still keep fixing the overall image - you can see how the lineart doesn't quite match the sketch in places: hikaru is shorter, the position of aoi's feet and tenma's hind legs are different, etc. some people like to do a very detailed sketch and practically trace their lineart over it, and if that's what feels good for you, go for it! I'm the kind to just throw lines over vague sketch and call it a day, especially with more simple drawings like this :,)

there's good tutorials and studies on bodies and proportions online already so I'm not going to even try to speak about those, but I got a few tips! I tend to do them in my mind nowadays, but I tried to draw them out for easier visualization!

I mentioned earlier how for me the main thing is that everything's balanced, right? that also inclues characters and their proportions. I think that in group pics it's more important the characters work out together, not so much if their insividual proportions are perfect. especially if there's notable differences between them - height, bulk, lenght of limbs, and so on! a few pixels here and there don't matter in the overall image, but for example with Shinsuke who is Tiny, it's important for me to really make him smaller than others.

my most used tool is a scale chart! it helps to visualize the proportions for the characters, even when they're piled up like in the example doodle, or otherwise not in a neat row on the horizon line. (again, separate layers help you tweak them individually if needed! there's no need to get them right on the first try, especially when drawing digitally when there's layers.)

if your drawing eye hasn't gotten used to proportions, the chart can also be used to make a neat little ruler to check your sketch! the rulers over the sketch are all same size, just moved around; tsurugi and shinsuke fit in pretty well, and while Tenma's torso is a little long (even when taking into accound he's a little bent from waist, which makes him even taller when straightened out), it's not by much and it wouldn't bother my eye.

and while I myself sometimes tend to be a slave for the references and get gray hair over minor details, or of some part of the anatomy is off and I can't fix it the way I want, the overall feeling and style mean a lot more! I think it's important to put some thought into the proportions especially if you feel like wanting to make progress with your art, but if it's getting too stressful or draining the joy of drawing out of you, then screw it and just have fun! (I say this as someone who has learned not from studying anatomy and stuff, but instead just. has drawn a shitton and had fun while at it. I think getting comfortable with just creating is the bigges step you can take!)

...oops, sorry if this got too long or off the rails! and yeah hopefully you (and anyone else reading all this) got something out of it!

[salted15]

hi i just discovered your blog and i LOVE your art. can you do a tutorial on how you do your pop rocks colors? im OBSESSED with it.

(totally cool if not, no pressure! :] )

this is generally what i do , and it's rough since i rushed it , but this is generally how it goes

this is a normal sketch

messy lineart done with a deep blue hue

colors !!! with basic shadows included . shadows aren't done with multiply or any of that , i just make the color a lil more saturated and move the hue

on an (unclipped) layer on top of the lineart layer , i just color my lineart . very loosely . this whole style is loose most of the time . i also add highlights by lightening the base color and moving the hue in the direction that feels lighter . additionally , i outline my shadows with a slightly darker hue bc it looks cool

(on the same layer as step 4) this is where i go Nuts . the lightest colors of the highlights are always pure yellow and teal , as they're naturally lighter than the other colors , and the secondary highlights are usually a bit more saturated and are blue green and yellow green . for other colors that aren't highlights , i tend to mostly go over the shadows (and the shadow outlines we added in step 4) by picking a color i'm gonna be going over and shifting the hue until it's a similar value/until it doesn't seem lighter or darker to the color i picked . i usually stick to purples , pinks , and blues for this

other things to note:

i tend to stay away from pure red and pure green

i use firealpaca's marker brush , which is like your standard pen brush but it's shaped like a rectangle

i don't think too hard about where i'm placing colors . if i pick a new color in step 5 i'll just put it wherever looks good . don't think about it too hard

unless i'm trying to be cleaner with this , my stabilizer is usually pretty low . i have it set to 10 on firealpaca- for reference , my sketching stabilizer is around 5 (side note: i should also mention that comparing to a lot of my artist friends , i just have my stabilizer really low all the time . my lineart setting is usually like 15 and firealpaca can go up to 40)

^^ i should also mention that stabilizer levels are different between programs just go with what feels right for you

my colors here are always very saturated . they're always either tints or shades , but never tones . mostly tints

^^ i do make exceptions to this if i'm going for a less saturated look (like my gumigoo drawing)

[gravityglitch-blog]

The Amazing Digital Circus, as seen by a Murder Drones fan

("Candy Carrier Chaos" inspired me to write this. Fair warning, it's a long one. Potential spoilers ahead)

I stumbled into the indie animation scene on YouTube by accident. It was like finding hidden treasure. I have no hate for the big-name studios, but everything I'd been seeing up until then seemed...homogenized...over-processed, somehow? It's hard to describe. Like eating fast food when you want a home cooked meal.

Now here were stories that were all wonderfully different, in subject matter and style. I started with "Lackadaisy", which was so beautiful, it left me stunned.

(The only reason you don't see more Lackadaisy fanart from me is because it's difficult drawing cats. I'm practicing, though.)

A few more clicks brought me to "Murder Drones", and it was love at first sight.

I connected to Uzi's character within her first minutes on-screen. Despite the dark tone of the story, I still hold out hope for a good ending.

Then I started seeing teasers for a new series, "The Amazing Digital Circus".

The art style and bright colors weren't my usual speed, but I decided to check it out anyway.

Personal confession, "Digital Circus" scares me more than "Murder Drones". While "Murder Drones" wears its horror inspirations on its sleeve, to me, it's more the "cool" kind of horror that I would scribble on my notebooks between classes.

Vampires, monsters, battling the forces of darkness while jamming to nightcore, you get the idea.

I have legitimately had nightmares that look like the "Digital Circus". Strange worlds of twisted colors and shapes, people I don't know, doors and staircases that lead nowhere.

All that said, I did enjoy the pilot, I found the setup and the characters interesting, and wanted to see more.

Side note, I know the studio sometimes seems to favor "Digital Circus", and it causes some resentment between the fandoms.

For myself, I see our fandoms as siblings. Let us watch our faves (hopefully) triumph over the horrors together.

This brings me to "Candy Carrier Chaos".

It happened to debut on one of my bad days, when I was feeling down, to put it mildly.

Like I didn't matter. Like no one would notice or remember me if I were gone.

And so that opening scene of Pomni's nightmare hit me like a punch in the gut.

I won't go into the episode's plot too much, as I'm sure others here have already done that and better than I ever could. The whole reason I'm writing this is because of that ending.

The members of the Circus take the time and care to remember the friend they lost in the pilot, apparently the latest of many.

They all feel the pain of loss, of being trapped in this strange world. But they still have each other. For now, at least.

The look on Pomni's face when she realizes she's not alone. When her vision replays, it has changed.

Now, there are helping hands to take hold of her. To pull her back up out of the darkness.

I honestly became a little teary-eyed at that scene. It got me thinking, "maybe the bad days are liars. Maybe I would be missed, after all."

The power of storytelling through animation. With all my heart, I hope this medium continues to grow and flourish. To any aspiring animators and artists out there, this random Tumblr person asks, please don't give up the dream. There are people out there that need to hear your stories.

In the meantime, Pomni remains where she is...and so do I. Thank you so much if you've read this whole thing. I really appreciate it.