#Too dumb to trick

[saphronethaleph]

Literary Illusions

“It’s ironic,” Palpatine said, shaking his head. “He could save others from death, but not himself.”

Anakin frowned.

“And this is something the Jedi wouldn’t have told me?” he asked.

“Of course not,” Palpatine replied. “Is it a story you’ve heard?”

“Well, yes,” Anakin said. “Just now, from you. But not before then… and that surprises me, Chancellor.”

Palpatine shrugged. “I think you’ll find, Anakin, that the Jedi have not been telling you everything.”

“Maybe not, but… honestly, that sounds like exactly the kind of thing they’d tell me,” Anakin said.

Palpatine frowned.

“...what?” he asked.

“You know,” Anakin said. “Some Sith Lord works out how to bring people back to life from the dead, but his apprentice kills him and doesn’t bring him back to life because the Sith are inherently self destructive. If the two of them had worked together and been able to trust one another, they’d have been immortal.”

He shrugged. “It’s a good illustration of the inherently self destructive nature of the Dark Side, and it’s the dichotomy of how the Dark Side leads you to seek power in order to achieve goals that you then discard as irrelevant, because they’re not directly related to gaining power… hold on a second.”

Palpatine was a little distracted by trying to avoid mentally kicking himself, so it took him somewhat more than a second to notice what Anakin was doing.

“...Anakin?” he said. “Are you getting your comlink out?”

“Yeah,” Anakin replied. “Going to text Obi-Wan, ask him what he thinks of the story. Maybe there’s some kind of detail I missed which makes it less of a good illustration of the different worldviews and mindsets of the Jedi and the Sith.”

The Knight shrugged, his thumbs tapping away at his comlink. “He probably knows it, he knows all of the old stories.”

Palpatine blinked several times.

“...don’t,” he said, then very discreetly scrambled for a reason why. “It’s the middle of a performance. We don’t want to interrupt them.”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s on silent,” Anakin replied, with a shrug. “Or vibrate. Did I put it on vibrate… hang on, Chancellor, I’ll make sure it’s on silent…”

He turned the comlink over, then a loud bwing sounded.

“Oh, right, I forgot to set it to do not disturb mode,” Anakin said. “Hang on… uh… yeah, there we go, I forgot I added all these custom modes. I’ve been missing a lot of sleep lately.”

“Perhaps-” Palpatine began, but Anakin spoke over him.

“Huh,” he said. “He says he’s never heard of it either. Wants to know where I heard about it, it looks like he’s really interested… or maybe he’s trying to tell me about a death stick vendor, he’s terrible with multiglyphs and he thinks he’s good at them.”

Anakin glanced at the Chancellor, hoping for some solidarity, then visibly noticed that the Chancellor was several decades older than him and abandoned that.

“Is there a book I can get the whole story from?” he asked, instead. “Obi-Wan is better at nuances, like I say.”

“That is not the point,” Palpatine said, trying not to get visibly angry. “The point is that there is a way to save your loved ones!”

“Maybe there used to be, but not any more,” Anakin shrugged. “Like you said, this was a Sith thing and the Sith are all dead. Well, unless General Grievous is a Sith who knows how to heal people, but I doubt it given how much he got hurt, and I’m not sure Dooku knew it either… hey, if this story needs to be publicized more then maybe we could have them do a play of that instead?”

Palpatine blinked several times, as he tried to keep up with a Jedi with possible undiagnosed ADHD and found himself discovering a lack of talent for podracing.

“What?” he asked.

“You know, a play,” Anakin explained. “Dramatic betrayals, lost loved ones, it would probably do numbers. It’d be better than this, anyway.”

He waved his hand at the ongoing performance of Squid Lake.

“...what is wrong with Squid Lake?” Palpatine said, before reflecting that that had really been a stupid question for him to ask and that he should have asked a much better one.

“Well, uh,” Anakin began, looking a bit abashed. “Actually now I say it out loud this might be really culturally insensitive of me, but to me this play might as well be eighty minutes of people boasting about having enough water to swim in.”

“It’s a ballet,” Palpatine told him, now completely having lost control of the conversation.

“It’s just a less scary version of Sarlacc Pit,” Anakin went on. “Someone tried to drown me in a lake once, because they thought I couldn’t swim, but floating on sand is much harder, you barely have to do anything to escape a lake. You just float.”

Very belatedly, Anakin caught sight of Palpatine’s look of total befuddlement, and shrugged.

“Watto was a lot of things,” he said. “But he had culture.”

Palpatine’s hands twitched, as he very seriously considered the idea of abandoning literal centuries of Sith planning and decades of personal political advancement in favour of stabbing Anakin somewhere it would hurt.

It was extraordinarily tempting.

“...hold on,” Anakin said, slowly. “I guess… the thing I’d like most at the moment is for… and that means… this is literally one of those times when I could fall to the Dark Side because of it, like Darth Plagueis.”

He bestowed a grateful smile on Palpatine. “Thanks, Chancellor! I need to make a call, I guess the ballet won’t mind.”

Palpatine was so thrown by the swerve that he couldn’t think of a way to stop Anakin in the few seconds he had.

“Love?” Anakin said, into his commlink. “I… think we need to come clean, because otherwise I’ll fall to the Dark Side.”

Palpatine’s eye twitched.

[buggachat]

Part 116 of my bakery “enemies” au!

First / Prev / Next / All

Kofi

[moonsidesong]

looking at the black cat that lives in my house after playing ghost trick

[ricksanchezbignaturals]

okay but the fact that in episode TWO rick was wearing leather and nipple clamps, getting walked on a leash by a gnome with a boner, and some people argued that he's straight for the next 10 years is hilarious. besties i do not think that was a necessary diversion in incepting mrs. pancakes actually

[dieanywhereelseart]

lynne kicking ass and taking names in @thegreatbigdetectivepolll

[frenchfry99]

Boo! 👻🦇🎃

Wishing you the most spooktacular Halloween!!

Some doodles below

My kiddos!! the sibling trio all together :) I have yet to introduce two of them but I ensure you they're all quite silly!!( it's even their last name smhh)

Anyways-

Pumpkins..

This year Lilly wanted to be a creepy pumpkin >:]

while Sunny and Billy - vampires. Turns out their costumes matched Frank's :D

(as a tailor Sunny definitely was the one who made costumes for their siblings and most likely helped other neighbors with theirs!^^)

Tailor and theater kid they're besties your honor

Lilly lore? On Halloween? More likely than you think

"Found a funny clown lady by the forest but everybody else seems to not notice her or runs away in fear! How odd!"

Lilly, are you sure they were scared of you?

[bamsara]

im really glad ur okay but are the kitties okay too? 🥺

All cats are bundled up and were in a heated blanket asleep before the power went out, which won't be electronically heated anymore but is still very warm and them being bundled up and asleep I think they don't even notice the power is out

Except for Ashley who has the zoomies but she seems fine and will prob plop down with the other cats in a hit. Worst case I'll just grab them and put them in the car with me

[nerosdayinanime]

sabito = dirtbike redneck. you cant convince me otherwise

[dootznbootz]

I honestly get a little annoyed that people will act like Penelope wouldn't be in the Fields of Punishment alongside Odysseus :P

Because she'd either go with him or literally be there because of her own things. I mean...She's not that nice either. They're literally "likeminded", all the war crimes he would tell her, she'd be thinking "Oh!!! Good thinking!!!" The only thing is, she just didn't GET to do those war crimes because she wasn't in the war. She would scold him for the stupid things he did acting like she's never done the same or wouldn't do the same.

Also as if she wouldn't also tell Polyphemus her name? Maybe not exactly, but she'd do something JUST as prideful/dumb eventually. BECAUSE THEY'RE SIMILAR. SAME MIND!!!

[starpros-sunshine]

I don't know if I ever talked about this on here before but it's been on my mind from time to time and that is the idea that Wataru one time catches a really bad cold so he just avoids Eichi for the time being (Because Hey. Maybe. If you're sick with a bacterial disease that spreads really easily. Maybe try not to pass it on to the guy with the autoimmune disorder. Just a thought.) But he doesn't tell anyone about it because he's The Hibiki Wataru he doesn't get sick.

So the only ones who know about this are his roommates because it's kind of hard to hide this from people you share a room with especially if you stay cooped up in your room a lot to try not to infect others with your cold and also a runny red nose and a sore throat aren't really a good look on someone that's not the biggest fan of open vulnerability. (If you ask yourself why he would stay in his dorm I have no idea either my guess is the guy just doesn't have anywhere else to go on short notice it's not like he has a flat outside of ES or something so as long as I don't have that figured out he'll have to stay in the dorms)

And yeah no back to point do the gist of the thing is Eichi notices that Wataru tries to stay away from him and he does not know why and it makes him sad and kind of angry and because he's Eichi of course he wonders if it was something he did or if it was just Wataru finally realising that Eichi just isn't what he deserves or whatever else self depreciating things could cross your mind in a situation like this.

So basically then he goes to the first person he would think of to know if he did anything wrong in regards to Wataru: Rei. Rei is mildly confused but reassures him Wataru didn't say anything in that regard.

And this entire scenario just boils down to Eichi wondering why Wataru is avoiding him and thinking it's his fault so he goes around asking everyone he could expect a proper answer from without thinking to ask Wataru himself because a) he's avoiding him. Why would he risk making things worse? And b) it's stupider and funnier this way and this entire scenario is just me laughing at their communication or lack thereof completely ignoring the underlying issues that would've caused it. And I know this is dumb and stupid because everyone else in ensquare would need to be an idiot for this to work so I'm ignoring that bit as well and just regarding it as something that would be funny in theory but would never happen. Or actually youcan set this entire scenario at Yumenosaki and then it could make perfect sense this seems exactly like the kind of stuff to happen to dramatic highschoolers

[tswwwit]

What would happen if instead of being hostile Other!Bill would try and see what made OG!Bill so happy with this living situation

So he tries and romance dipper, hugs him sometimes (although it grosses him out, but he realized it's nice once is a while), and just stuff he'd think OG!Bill would do.

In the end OG!Bill comes back to see Other!Bill curled up cozily under a blanket in PT's lap while PT is reading a book and PT is even petting his head softly, thinking what the fuck?? That's supposed to be me

If Bill saw Other Bill doing that with Dipper - settled comfortably in his lap, relaxed and being petted, cuddled and pampered -

He would experience white-hot, visceral jealousy. Like a shard of neutron star went right through his chest.

Killing another version of yourself, for a Bill Cipher, is very gauche. It's the reason he didn't do it to Other Bill in the first place, even though he was a total douche!

But for this, Bill will make an exception.

[just-an-enby-lemon]

People who believe in the Aquaman isn't real comspiracy theory:

Disclaimer: this theory started as Aquaman isn't real at all and evolved to Aquaman is just a metahuman and Atlantis is a lie.

- Bill Nye

- Edward Nygma (after Scarecrow told him about Bill Nye beliving in this theory, at first Ed found it ridiculous but as a detective, scientist and a Bill Nye fan since childhood he ended up changing his mind)

- Pamela Isley (basically the same situation as Edward)

- Bruce Wayne (he told publicaly on TV)

- Batman (after confroting Riddler and Poison Ivvy over an invasion of the JLA database he discovered the video of Bill Nye explaining why Aquaman was scietifically imposible)

- Vic Sage/ The Question (fellow conspiracy people)

- Bernard Dowd (he is famous in conspiracy blogs)

- Louis Lane (she is sceptic but she is slowly converting, after all the science and evidence is on our side)

- Tim Drake-Wayne (he never said he was but he showed enough support for his dad and his boyfriend that we can infer he belives in it as well)

- Daphne Blake (from our favorite detective group, she never said she belives it, but she implied it enough that we know)

Can't you see? Aquaman is a fallacy. Wake up sheaple.

[kxllerblond]

listening to an anita b. book and when i tell you clark is fERAL rn over these vamps hassling anita in this damn clUB RN 👿👿👿👿👿👿 @executiioner

[midnights-wish]

I so wanna get those cute maxi jeans skirts, but whenever I try one on I feel like it's making me shorter than I already am ;-;

[bloody-shadow666]

onLY THE C R O W N CAN PARDON YOU

jude

JUDE

"I'm starting to think he messed up with that wording"

J U D E

[gale-in-space]

I think GPT series shit and other bots and how we as humans treat them have kind of soured my former fondness with robots and AI in fiction