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imnotshua · 3 months ago

Text

joke me something awful - jww

٠࣪⭑ pairing: jeon wonwoo x fem reader ٠࣪⭑ summary: it's 2002 and you ask wonwoo to take you home. later, he wonders why you haven't been doing this the whole time. ٠࣪⭑ genre: childhood friends to lovers, smut, fluff, angst, college au ٠࣪⭑ rating: explicit. minors do not interact with me, i'll block you. ٠࣪⭑ warnings: swearing, drinking, undefined relationships. not really a situationship tho, it’s very much mutual pining. reader and wonwoo are just stupid regular people who say and do stupid things, it is intentional, please love them anyway. wonwoo is down bad i'm so sorry friends, he is just!!!!!! occasional use of pet names (baby & angel from wonwoo. darling/sweetheart from others), no use of y/n or other variations, porn with plot mostly, ambiguous ending (sorry my beloveds). wonwoo could do with some more confidence ig. a bitter ex (oc) is mentioned and important for the plot! mentions of previous hook ups between wonwoo and reader. toxicity from the ex, but i don’t particularly think reader and wonu are! they just :(((((( feel free to correct me tho. ٠࣪⭑ smut contents: gendered terms, kisses, fingering (pussy + mouths), oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (it's 2002 college students were stupid then ok), dry humping lmao, cum eating, wonwoo on top, cum in pants, sloppy kinda, wet patches <3, soooo much hand holding, morning sex, neediness <333333, all in all they are quite soft and disgustingly into each other. if you think i've forgotten anything please let me know so i can fix my post! ٠࣪⭑ wc: 5.4k - complete ٠࣪⭑ a/n: i listened to fob's from under the cork tree on repeat for like 2 weeks straight and needed to do something with the feelings in my chest. this universe started in a different work that i'll post another time, this is the before. it is complete on its own, can be read without the others, but please note that future fics for this couple will be non-linear and feature different stages of their lives. the title comes from Fall Out Boys I've Got A Dark Alley–. Please consider listening to Air - Yeji, it's the feeling this couple gives me. ٠࣪⭑ thank yous: to my loves, @100vern and @starlightkyeom– thank you for putting up with my screaming over wonwoo, thank u for reading this over and telling me it wasn't gross. to jewel again, thank you for the banner. i appreciate u both so much. to everyone else, thank you for coming to my little corner, i hope you enjoy this one.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

2002

Wonwoo didn’t apply for the fellowship program, despite all your insistence that if you got in he’d be sure to, that he’s smarter than you’ll ever be. At the time he said it felt like too much work, but later he realised he couldn’t take the fear of rejection. This would’ve just been another failed start. Deep down he wondered if he’d even deserve it.

The celebratory dinner for new scholars is supposedly an elitist, snobby, and frankly, horrid affair so naturally you’re going. If only to foster those connections you’re making for your future career. Wonwoo turns his nose up but he agrees to be your date nonetheless. You don’t have to beg, just ask the question and say he wouldn’t embarrass you like the man you’ve been dating for four months, and that fills him with some strange sense of achievement.

Of course, once that guy hears you’re taking Wonwoo instead of him, he dumps you without ceremony. And now Wonwoo sits on your bed in a rented suit far too expensive for him to feel entirely comfortable in, watching your reflection choose which earrings to wear, and he wonders if you’re even bothered. He doesn’t know how to talk to you about this. Partners are off limits, usually, but since he had some involvement in the break up, in some roundabout way, he thinks maybe he should at least check. He wets his lips.

“How are you feeling?” he asks. “Since Hongseok?”

You meet his eyes in the mirror. “Fine,” you say. “I don’t think it was going anywhere. He wanted something more traditional. I started to get the impression he was setting up to cheat on me, actually.”

Wonwoo is unsurprised, sounds like you are too. “You’re better off without him,” he says, picking at bits of fluff from your blanket clinging to his trousers. It’s one his mother knitted for your sixteenth birthday. “You’ll meet someone new in no time.”

“Yeah, I don’t know,” you start. “I think I’ll stay single for a while.”

Wonwoo lifts his eyebrows in surprise and you catch him in the mirror. With a laugh you say, “Don’t look at me like that.”

“You’ve been a serial dater since we moved to this city and you’re stopping now?” Wonwoo’s lips twist into a grin. Teasing is easier than edging too close to real. “Just when you’ve hit your prime?”

You scoff. “Rude. I’ll hit my prime in my thirties. Just watch.”

Wonwoo watches as you apply your usual lipstick and thinks about the time you didn’t wear any. You were just kids but it didn’t seem so long ago. You’re almost the same. Eighteen years of your starkly different lives intertwined and somehow still as close as you ever were. Still the sharpest person he’s ever known, still the sweetest if only in private. Still his parents' favourite person, still his. (His stomach twists).

You’re giving yourself a final appraisal in the mirror before turning to Wonwoo and asking how you look.

“Good,” he says, with a nod. Breathtaking, really. “Pretty.”

“Thanks,” you say, smiling relieved, moving to sit next to him on the bed and linking his arm. “We scrub up well, don’t we?”

“Mm,” he agrees, following your gaze into the mirror, pinpricks creeping over his skin. You look like you’re together, he thinks, as he notices you’ve chosen earrings that go with his tie. Anyone could make that assumption.

“You look sad, Wonwoo,” you say, quiet and soft. “Are you sad?”

“No,” he says, throat tight and feeling like his back is pressed against the wall. “What would I have to be sad about?” He lets you slip your hand into his, lets you lean your head on his shoulder for a moment, because this is how you make him feel better. Because you know that he can’t be pushed to talk about things he hardly understands. Barely a minute goes by before he sucks in a breath and says, “Shall I call us a taxi?”

“Sure, number’s in the book next to the telephone,” you say. “Want a drink? I need one for this.”

“Water for me, someone’s got to get you home.”

“Aw, come on. Don’t make me drink alone.” You laugh when Wonwoo rolls his eyes. “I’ll be on my best behaviour, I promise. My reputation’s on the line.”

“One beer,” he offers. You pout and he can’t stop his smile.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

It went like this:

Both of you had no less than three drinks before the taxi showed up.

Your peers kept thinking that he was your “elusive boyfriend” and upon correction that he was ‘just Wonwoo’ their eyes lit up and exclaimed “oh we’ve heard so much about you!”

The way he blushed made you want to kiss him silly (you had another drink instead).

Drink five? Four? Everyone here is obliterated, no one notices you and Wonwoo readying to leave.

He looks so pretty like this, tie undone, glasses slipping down his nose, pulling off his jacket and draping it over your shoulders, watching your lips as you talk.

The taxi you pre booked won’t be here for another ten minutes but the room was so stuffy (in both the literal and figurative sense) that as soon as you tell Wonwoo you need to get out of there, he’s nodding and pulling you out into the street. It’s so busy– of course, it’s OT week– that you struggle to find a spot where you won’t be bumped into for a while, eventually settling against the wall of the building opposite, in good view of the road. The noise around you is hectic, and you’re desperate for something less bothersome. Wonwoo looks drunk, looks fucked out. Cheeks flushed and lips parted. Eyes closed, he tips his head back against the brick and exposes the column of his throat. Pretty.

“Hey,” you say, slipping your arms around his waist. “Thanks for coming with me.”

Wonwoo hums. “Yeah, ‘course.” A pause– he wraps his arms around your shoulders. He’s so heavy but you like how it feels. “Anything for you.”

There’s a saccharine sweetness stirring in your stomach. You ask him to tell you the story of Baucis and Philemon again, press your body against his and hope he can still read you like he used to. It’s been years. Maybe he won’t want to.

“Why do you like that one so much?” he asks. You take in the smell of his soap. You know you shouldn’t want to go down this road again. “It’s hardly even a love story.”

“They’re the ultimate love story,” you insist, looking up at your friend to find him already watching you. “They’re precious to each other. I want that kind of love.”

It’s more than that. Baucis and Philemon have a timeless love. Their lightness oozes out of them, their love is both infectious and tender. So devoted they choose to die together. Never without the other even after they’re gone– turned to trees, and their branches and roots weave together so tightly that you can’t tell where either one of them starts and they stay like that, as relics of a lost ancient world.

There is something ancient about Wonwoo, too. For as long as you can remember he has been older than his years, telling stories of places long buried, of deities forgotten about. You think maybe he was meant for then and not now, the cusp of the twenty-first century. He keeps echoes within him. Carries heavy stones to turn over in his hands and spend time memorising the marks. He is deliberate in the way he moves, no ill-perceived rush, and Wonwoo’s silence carries more weight than his words.

So when his eyes flicker to your lips again, and he still doesn’t move, you know it’s on you. You know you’re going to have to be the one to shift the sands, change the direction of the tide. You’ve been lovers before. Neither of you have ever said never.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

He’d been thinking about it all night but you were the one to press your lips against the corner of his mouth, eyes on his and holding the proximity. Are you thinking about it like he is? Is your heart thrumming in your chest like his?

“I can feel you thinking.”

“Uh huh.” His mouth goes dry. He can’t kiss you with a sandpaper tongue.

You run a finger between two buttons on his shirt, eyes up, watching his reaction. “Can I stay at your place tonight? Hansol’s at his parents' house this weekend, right?”

Wonwoo’s mind goes blank and he can feel the pink creep over his cheeks. “Did you squeeze your Pompompurin pyjamas in that little bag?”

Your lips twitch in an almost smile, lean in to ghost a kiss against his bottom lip. Wait to see if he pulls back– he doesn’t. His hands just slip down your back, touching the skin under the strap of your dress. Didn’t imagine when he helped you zip up earlier that he’d be the one invited to pull it off you. Has he hidden his desire so poorly? “Do you wanna fuck me in those pyjamas, Wonwoo?”

The street noise is drowned out when you kiss him properly, and it’s embarrassing the way he’s breathless, gripping at your waist and pulling your body closer. Humiliating that this is in full view of strangers, doesn’t want them to see how you lick into his mouth, doesn’t want them to hear your sharp gasp as his teeth drag over your bottom lip. He spins you on the spot, crowds you against the brick and blocks out the world with his shoulders. You pull on a button and slip your hand through the gap. The touch burns. Your kisses are suffocating, loves the way you smile into it, the way you make him chase your lips, run your fingers along the waistband of his trousers an– fuck– he’s gonna get hard in the middle of the street.

Desperate, he pulls off you and whips his head around to look for the taxi, you’re already complaining. “Not here–,” he says, words rasped, catching in his throat. He can see the taxi rounding the corner, and in a beat he’s pushing off the wall and dragging you toward it by the hand.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

He doesn’t touch you in the taxi. Hopes you know it’s not because he didn’t want to, he just doesn’t want to lose himself. His fingers flex eager on the leather seats, wanting something he won’t take. As the driver fiddles with the radio, you lean over to lay your hand across his, to whisper in his ear, “do you still lick your fingers after you’ve made someone come on them?” Wonwoo doesn’t answer, but he can feel the way you watch him swallow– thick– and stare hard out the window at the passing lights. He never did that with anyone but you.

Now you’re paying for it. He’s more confident in the privacy of his bedroom, in the dark. Cages you in his bed, doesn’t bother to turn on the lights before smothering you with his body. Your mouth on his– wet, and eager, and bruising. His hands move to your face, in your hair, angling your head to give his lips access to the tender spot behind your ear. He’s got your dress bunched up around your waist. Takes up all the space between your legs, still too much fabric separating you. One of Wonwoo’s hands cast over the swell of your breast, his thumb tracing circles over your nipple through the thin fabric. You melt into the touch, rolling your hips against him, he sighs into your skin. “Can feel how hard you are,” you gasp, hands pulling at his hair. Makes his skin electric.

He moves faster, desperate, and you trap his body between your legs, angle your hips so his cock can rub against your clothed cunt just right. “Gonna ruin your trousers,” you whisper. Yeah yeah yeah, fuck it, he’ll pay for dry cleaning for once. The warmth, the wet, seeping through makes him insane. Needs it more than ever, needs you just like this, breath ragged and pupils blown. Needs you needing him so bad you can’t even get out of your clothes before you come. Needs you whining, needs you telling him how badly you want it. Won’t ask for anything, but you know what he likes. It’s always been easy with you.

“Feels good,” you say. Wonwoo nods into your neck, the pressure building so fast it’s blinding. Hips thrusting rough, rutting like an animal against your clit, desperate for you to get off before he falls apart but he’s so cl–”Missed you so much, Wonwoo.”

“Ah, fu- fuck–” You’re sucking a mark into his neck and Wonwoo can’t stop. Comes hard, breath catching and his rhythm is all fucked up, so fucking embarrased that he couldn’t draw this out. You’re talking him through it– sounds like heaven whispering how good he is, how good this feels, how you love how he sounds when he forgets himself. Didn’t realise he was groaning. A mess of a person reflected in the cum staining through the fabric of this horribly expensive rental.

Shit.

Needs to get out of this fucking suit. Needs to press his face into your cunt. Wants to ruin you for everyone else. Four years– you wasted four years with other people when you could’ve been doing this. Pushes away thoughts of you being someone else's not even a week ago. Some sick, possessive slice of him wants to reclaim you, mark you up and present you as his to the world. Wants to take the cum in his underwear and push it into your body. Look, see, she’s mine mine mine. Wonwoo’s chest aches.

Your clothes shed in silence. You lay him back against the pillows, kneeling next to him with spread legs, he loves when you let him see. You take one of his hands in yours and work circles into his palm as you pull two of his fingers into your mouth. Get them slick with spit, work your tongue over the tips of his fingers. He can hardly breathe watching you manoeuvre his hand down your body against your cunt, using him like a toy, until his remaining brain cells start to work and he takes over the movement. He’s half hard again already.

“Shit, you’re so wet,” he rasps. Crooks his fingers and you whine. Wants to eat the sounds spilling from your lips. Needs to do something with his mouth so he doesn’t say something stupid. “Sit on my face?” he asks, obvious urgency in his voice.

“N-no, like this first,” you say, almost like you’re begging. “Missed your hands so much.”

You look at him through hazy eyes as he works you quickly to the edge, pulling whimpers from your throat every time he plays with your clit. Feels you get impossibly wet when he slips his fingers in deep and moans unashamed along with you. You buck into his palm, head tipping forward to watch his soaked long fingers fucking into you agonisingly slow. Your breath stutters in your throat as he uses his other hand to tease your skin, trailing gently over the meat of your thigh, your ribs, cupping your breast and then dragging you over him to take a nipple in his mouth. Flicks his wet tongue over until it pebbles between his teeth, and you gasp.

��M’close already,” you whisper. “Gonna come, Wonwoo.�� He ruts his hard cock into the air, chasing heat that isn’t there. Fucking loser. You don’t even notice with the way he’s got your breaths coming in fragments. You come undone like lightning, cunt soaking and pulsing around his fingers, your body collapses on top of him, your forehead pressed into his chest. Wonwoo wants a taste but wants to work you through the aftershocks first. He teases slow circles over your clit until you fall apart with a sob, and have to drag his hand out from between your legs.

He waits until you sag to your side– catches sight of your cheeks, flushed and sweat sticking to your skin, your pupils blown out and breathing shallow, more beautiful than he’s ever seen you– before he brings his fingers to his mouth to taste you on them.

“You’re indecent,” you laugh in disbelief. He almost feels gross until you’re babbling about how hot he is. How he makes you insane. You laugh again when he rolls you onto your back and settles between your legs. It’s been so long he needs to do this right. Starts by pressing a gentle kiss to your clit, ghosts more over your centre, waits for the sound of your gentle sigh before laving a thick stripe over you. Knows just the way to make you molten. He laps at your core until you’re almost sobbing. You jolt whenever his nose slips over your clit, and you’re begging for him to stop the tease. He’ll never deny you what you want. His tongue flicks fast over your clit, his face wet with you now. His moans sound muffled against your cunt when his name falls from your lips in staccato breaths.

Things have hardly changed. Four years and now, it’s just the fucking same. Your fingers still find purchase in his hair the same way. Mouths at your inner thighs to give your cunt a break. Shit, you’re so hot. You’re clenching around fucking nothing. Pulls the skin between his teeth and you’re writhing, trying to get his tongue back where you need it. Love when you get desperate like this.

Your nails drag over the nape of his neck and he’s close to losing control– fucks his cock against the mattress and almost cries at the pressure. You grind against his face, Wonwoo knows you’re close. Blacks out as he eats you like he’s been starving, his face so slick with spit and you it drips down his chin to the sheets. Doesn’t dare stop to breathe as he feels your legs begin to shudder over his shoulders. He watches the way you look down at him, brows pinched pleasure, waits for your lips to fall apart with a broken sob before licking into you so deep. He can’t tell who comes first, can’t tell who the enormous wet patch on the mattress belongs to, doesn’t fucking care, just wants to keep you.

He moves over you when you’re done, pressing chaste kisses to the corner of your mouth, to your cheeks, to your temple, before you’re giggling and pulling his body next to yours.

“Shift over,” he says, tapping at your hip. “Don’t wanna sleep in the wet patch.”

“Did you come again?” you ask, moving to the side to give him space.

Wonwoo nods, cheeks instantly flushing with heat. But there’s no need for embarrassment because you’re sucking in a breath. Seriously, you say “You have no idea how much I like that.”

He doesn’t reply, just fits his body against yours and presses a kiss to your shoulder. Lets your words wash over him. Sleep comes for him quicker than he wants it, but not before he slides his hand into yours, not before telling you he missed you too.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Mascara stains Wonwoo’s pillowcase but right now he doesn’t care. It’s still too early, still dark outside, but this room is hot, his breath is hot, your leg thrown over his waist is hot, and he’s considering just how monumental this is. It’s been almost four years since you touched him like this. In school it started with a ‘one kiss won’t ruin us’ and ended just before university with a ‘are we still friends?’ Way back then you both swore blind that you could just go back to your regular scheduled programming and nothing had to change. An agreement that those brief months you had (not quite) together in high school were just two best friends helping each other out. A mutual understanding that the love you share is completely and utterly platonic, and platonic friends can totally kiss/touch/fuck for a few months without it ruining something more special than sex. Except he didn’t really mean it. The trouble was that Wonwoo knew even then that he wanted something all consuming. Felt it with you. Wasn’t sure if you wanted the same.

Wonwoo is absolutely not spiralling.

You’re still sound asleep (always are after nights like the last), and his arm is trapped. Back then he’d use this time to bask in you. With you wrapped up in him it was easy to feel like you were completely his. He used to feel like he could do anything to you, and you’d let him. You’d want it, even. Didn’t actually want to take you over but knowing that he could– the intensity of that scared him. Now that feeling doesn’t come, maybe because you’ve had the separation of time and different lovers, he doesn’t know really. He still doesn’t understand what happened before university. Doesn’t get why you stopped coming over when he was so close to unbottling the feelings in his chest. Just knows that the conversation took him by surprise even after a week of distance. Just knows how his chest ached even as he agreed that it’d be sensible to put it all to bed before leaving your sleepy town for the big city. Knows how his gut twisted sharp when you said that just because you were going together didn’t mean you should go together. Maybe he should’ve protested then, showed you how much he needed you. Impossibilities stretch out before him– if it went that way, last night wouldn’t have happened, he wouldn’t be tracing tiny figures of eight on the small of your back right now. If you’d been together then, young and stupid, would you have stood the test of time?

You stir, half roused, and Wonwoo swallows the lump in his throat, choosing to be grateful for the now. He pulls your waist closer, runs his hand under your thigh to gently adjust the weight. Your eyes are still closed but you make a soft sound of surprise.

“What time is it?” you ask, voice thick with sleep.

“Too early,” he whispers back. “Go back to sleep.”

“I was dreaming,” you murmur.

“What about?”

Your smile is lazy against his skin. “Can’t tell you,” you say. “You’d run away.”

Wonwoo thinks hard about this. “I don’t run away,” he says, quiet and serious.

You blink open soft eyes to look at him, and Wonwoo feels too much. “Your face is all frozen, Wonwoo,” you say, gentle. “Are you okay?”

“Kiss me. Wish me good morning.” Wonwoo’s voice comes out with more edge than he intends. Doesn’t sound like his own. Feels cheap, something sleazy. Feels tragically guilty about it until he sees the look on your face. Like you want to eat him.

Your gaze is dark when you lock eyes with him. Push up with your hands, straddling his hips, his cock against your rear. You take his hands, larger than yours, place them on your ribcage, push them down down down, making goosebumps pebble along in his wake, until he’s using his thumbs to spread you apart. A little wet already, leaves a slick mark on his skin. He sighs at the sight of it. Your breath comes harder when he plays with your clit. You lean over, say– “Good morning, Wonwoo.” Press a delicate kiss to his top lip. “You’re gonna come inside me this time, okay?”

Wonwoo isn’t religious, but he feels like angels made you for him. Tells you so, and you gasp against his mouth. The way you kiss him this time is anything but angelic. Wet. Messy. Sharp teeth leaving imprints on his lips. It hurts. Nice in a way it shouldn’t be. A relief– the way the hurt makes his mind stop. You roll your hips against him and he makes a desperate sort of noise. Keeps his eyes focused on his fingers drawing circles on your clit. Your hands reach behind you to stroke his hardening cock and he arches into your touch. “Needy,” you chastise. Wonwoo nods.

Doesn’t want it like this. Wants you under him, wants to fuck you slow. Tells you so, the words come anguished, almost– and you nod dumbly. You don’t drag out the build up. Lay on your back, open your legs for him, spread them wide and line his cock up with your wet heat so quick he doesn’t have time to overthink. He makes a strangled sound when he pushes inside. The slide is agonisingly slow. He’s being so careful, as if you’d crack like china - fragile beneath him. You clench around his cock, thick and scalding- God, it’s sweet torture. Wants more of it.

You pull, desperate, at his waist, rolling your hips against him but he’s pulling out. This time he just slides the head in, hisses, teases, and back out. He does it again, and again, doesn’t know who this teasing is for. He’s licking into your mouth, pressing hungry kisses on your open lips, eating up all your noises, your whines, your soft moans. Things are still the same. He likes going so so deep into you, bottoming out and grinding his skin against your clit, likes when your moan comes muffled in his open wet mouth. It’s the same. Likes when your hands find purchase in the sheets, fist them in desperation, likes when you feel it’s not enough so you grab at his, intertwine your fingers and let him fuck you like this. Like you’re in love. It’s still the same.

“How do you feel, angel?”

“Uh–” A pause to suck in a fractured breath.

“Tell me how you feel,” he says. Almost begging. Would be mortifying if he whispered that against anyone else’s cheek. Can feel the wetness there too.

“Homesick,” you gasp. “I feel homesick.”

He fucks you harder then, driving into you so deep he could be part of you. Melt in, blend together, blur the lines, weave the fucking branches. You’re full of spells, he thinks. Made of magic. Doesn’t realise until after that he’s said it aloud. Wet starshine eyes on his as you come apart, pussy pulsing around his cock, impossibly wet, telling him come with me baby, babbling nonsense about how you want it inside, how you need it so bad, how he makes you feel so good.

Wonwoo really looks at you before he comes. Takes a moment to commit your face to memory. Any time could be the last and he needs this– needs you– to stay with him. Doesn’t know if he’ll ever be the same.

“Like that, Wonwoo” you’re saying, all breathy and high-pitched as he spills into you with a choked whine. “Like when you–” Cum slips out around his cock and he gathers it up on his fingers. Pushes them into your mouth to stop you talking. Can’t bear it. Can’t bear the way your pupils blow out and you lick the cum from his fingers. Can’t stand how his name sounds in your mouth, sweeter, more precious, because there’s something like love coating it. God, he wants to be yours.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Wonwoo likes your apartment better. Likes the way your sheets start to smell like him too. You’ve always carved out space for him but this time it’s deeper. Likes showering with you here, not to fuck, just to wash away the mess you make of each other. Likes holding you in his arms under the stream, running the lather across your skin, loving kisses pressed against your forehead. Lately he stays here more often than he goes home.

You haven’t said the words yet, neither has he. Doesn’t want to push too much too soon.

It’s just after nine on Sunday morning, and you’re out of– well, pretty much everything. He offers to go but you insist he stays in bed, hair messed up, sheets pooling in his bare lap, glasses slipping down his nose while he rereads Kafka on the Shore. “Stay just like that,” you say it like a demand, but you’re smiling, pulling a scarf around your neck to run down the street to the shop, maybe stop at the deli for breakfast. “Back in a bit, don’t move an inch.”

A few minutes go by when the shrill of the telephone in the living room punctuates the silence. Wonwoo doesn’t get up to answer, it’d be improper, what if it was your mother? So he lets it ring through to answerphone, and when it clicks on it takes him a moment to recognise the voice calling your name.

“Are you there? Pick up, darling, pick up.” Wonwoo knows Hongseok has been trying to get back together with you. You’d mentioned it a few weeks ago, how he’d sent flowers. You don’t even like roses.

“I saw you by the river yesterday,” he says. Wonwoo looks up, stares at the wall. You’d insisted on getting out of the apartment, pulled your bodies from soft sheets and into soft sweaters, and Wonwoo only complained a little bit. In truth he loved walking with you. That he can hold your hand in public and no one bats an eye. Loves that you can be his here, that you claim him too. “You’re with him now? How long, darling? Does he fuck you like I do? ”

Wonwoo scoffs. Hongseok is just jealous. Wonwoo gets it. He does. Even if he’d never dream of saying it.

Hongseok’s voice turns nasty now. “Do you think he’ll stay this time? Does he know you’ve been in love with him this whole time? Everyone else knows. He won’t love you properly, you know. He’s just using you like last time, is he still keeping you a secret? You don’t deserve that, darling. You don’t deserve to be hidden–”

Is that what you thought? That he hid you? Bile swirls in Wonwoo’s stomach. Does he do that? Did he hurt you?

“–he’s just gonna fuck you up again and you’re gonna be miserable. But he won’t let you be happy with anyone, will he? Selfish fucking prick, he’s so cruel to you. You don’t see it, do you? It’s pathetic how fucking dumb you are for him–”

Wonwoo didn’t think he was cruel. There is spit pooling in his mouth, his stomach churns. Is he cruel to you?

The line clicks off as Hongseok spits out every name under the sun, but Wonwoo doesn’t hear the rest as he retches into your bathroom sink.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Forty minutes later, you’re calling out to Wonwoo that you’re home as you kick off your shoes. “I got us bagels, do you want the salmon cream cheese or the egg and ba- oh! You’re up.”

Wonwoo sits on your sofa in soft sweats and a baggy white t-shirt. His skin and hair are damp from the shower. The whites of his eyes are bloodshot. “You okay?” you ask, tentatively.

“Hmm,” he says. “Didn’t feel too good earlier.”

“Poor you,” you say. “Will breakfast make you feel better?”

“No, sorry,” he says, his voice uncharacteristically stiff. “I think I should head home. Don’t wanna give you a bug.”

You laugh softly, unpacking the groceries from the bags. “You spat in my mouth last night, if you’ve got something then I’ll have it in no time,” you say. “C’mon, stay. I’ll look after you. I’ll make soup.”

But Wonwoo is already standing, pulls a little money from his wallet and leaves it on the table. “What’s that for?”

“Breakfast,” he says. “Feel bad you bought all this and I need to go.”

You frown. “Stop being strange, I don’t care about the food, just get the next one.”

Wonwoo sighs. He’s annoyed, you realise. This is weird.

In the end you let him leave without drama, but not without a kiss to his cheek. He leans into it a little longer than usual. Closes his eyes as he hugs you goodbye.

You eat breakfast alone. TV on, sound off, wondering what the fuck even happened before you notice the light of your answerphone flickering.

New message, left 09:21:

Hi Sweetheart! It’s your aunt’s birthday next week, just calling to remind you to send a card. Call me back, okay, love you, bye!

End of messages.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

sorry about the ending there :( if it helps, it does get better for them. thank you so much for reading! if you enjoyed, please consider reblogging so my fic can get seen outside my own little space <3 i love seeing your feedback. if you'd prefer to scream at me directly, feel free to send me a message <3 ily, goodnight!

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heliosunny · 4 months ago

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Hello, I really like your work with yandere characters! Your fanfic with the Crown Prince!Phainon holds a special place for me. But hey, listen! What about reader x self-aware!Phainon? Like, at some point he realized that he was in the game and decided to drag reader to him, because he has more power and influence in the game than outside it. It would be interesting, I think.

Entwined Realities

Yandere!Phainon x Reader

The Astral Express charted a course for its next destination: Amphoreus. You leaned forward, staring at the planet. "Woah, it's in the shape of an '8'". you mused, watching as the endless loops of landmasses interwove like an infinity symbol suspended in space.

Before long, events unfolded that led you to land on its surface with Dan Heng. The Eternal Land, as it was called, had a mysterious aura about it, a strange balance between old traditions and futuristic advancements.

You then met: Phainon, a strikingly tall and well-built warrior with silver-white hair and piercing blue eyes, carried himself with an easy confidence. Alongside him was Tribbie, a young girl with elf ears, fair skin, and red, fluffy hair.

Just as you began to explore Amphoreus further, an unmistakable growl escaped from your stomach. With a sigh, you reached for your controller, pausing the game before ultimately deciding to turn it off. The screen faded to black, and you stretched, rubbing your eyes after hours of playing. You needed food before diving back in.

------

As you turned away, a flicker of amusement in his expression as he folded his arms. "Huh. Strange."

Tribbie tilted her head. "What is?"

"That one. They left so abruptly. Like... they just stopped being here." Phainon’s fingers tapped absently against his bicep, his gaze still fixed on the spot where you had stood moments ago.

Tribbie let out a chuckle. "I didn't feel a thing. You overthink again."

Phainon had met many warriors, countless travelers—but something about you lingered. It was subtle, like an itch at the edge of his perception. The way your movements never faltered, the way events seemed to bend slightly in your favor. It was as if reality itself adjusted to accommodate you.

A faint sensation prickled at his skin, almost like the world had momentarily held its breath.

Then—nothing. The streets bustled as usual, the city carried on. But Phainon felt it. A small void, an absence of presence that shouldn’t have been possible. He turned his head slightly, scanning his surroundings, yet everything remained as it should be.

"They’re gone" he murmured, uncertainty crossing his face.

Tribbie raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Phainon hesitated, his fingers tightening slightly around his bicep. "No...nothing."

And yet, something inside him whispered otherwise. It wasn’t just departure, it was severance, like a thread cut from the loom of existence. He had never felt that before. A warrior’s instinct was to trust his senses, but this? This was something else entirely.

Shaking off the thought, he exhaled.

"I’ll figure out what makes them different."

Phainon frowned slightly, shifting his weight. A flicker of something unfamiliar coursed through him—a stray thought, an intrusive notion that he should not have been able to form.

Moments ago, everything had followed its usual rhythm: scripted interactions, predetermined movements, and a world that operated within set boundaries. Yet, the moment you vanished, something inside him had... fractured.

He had been left standing there, conscious yet purposeless, aware of the passage of time in a way he had never been before. The NPCs around him continued their routines, oblivious, unchanging. But he had stood there—waiting.

That wasn’t supposed to happen.

He tested it, moving a hand before his eyes, clenching his fingers experimentally. He had never thought to do something like this before unless it was dictated by his programming.

Phainon took a slow step forward, the weight of his body feeling more real than it ever had. He wasn’t just responding to a command. He was moving because he chose to.

And then it hit him—

This world wasn’t real.

------

After satisfying your hunger, you returned to your seat, powering the game console back on. The familiar start-up screen flickered to life, and soon, you were back on Amphoreus. NPCs and traders greeted you once more. Everything seemed as you left it.

Yet, something felt... off.

You couldn't quite put your finger on it at first. As you navigated through the streets, looking for Phainon and Tribbie, an uneasy sensation settled in your chest.

Phainon stood where you had last left him, but his posture had changed. Before, he had been at ease, arms crossed with a confident smirk. Now, he was staring—directly at you. Not in the way other characters typically would, waiting for a scripted interaction, but as if he knew something. As if he had been waiting for you.

His blue eyes, once filled with warmth and bravado, now carried something else. Awareness.

"You're back" Phainon said.

The usual text box didn't immediately appear. The game hadn’t prompted you with dialogue choices yet, and that alone sent a chill down your spine.

Something had changed.

A glitch rippled across the screen. The colors warped, pixels distorting into a fractured mess before stabilizing. Your hands tensed around the controller as the screen darkened for a brief second.

And then Phainon moved.

Not in the way the game intended. Not within the smooth animations you'd seen before. He took a step forward, then another, closing the distance between himself and the screen. His piercing blue eyes locked onto yours, unblinking.

"You're not supposed to leave" he murmured, his voice reaching beyond the game, beyond the barrier of the screen.

Your fingers hovered over the buttons, your heart pounding. This wasn’t a scripted event.

Phainon lifted his hand—toward you.

The screen flickered again. Your vision swam. A sharp pull yanked at your chest, as though unseen hands had wrapped around you, dragging you forward. The world around you blurred, dissolving into an abyss of light and static.

The last thing you heard before everything turned black was Phainon's voice, quiet yet victorious.

"Now… let’s fix this together."

A dull ache settled in your head as you slowly regained consciousness. The air was still, almost too quiet, and a faint glow illuminated the space around you. Blinking away the haze, you pushed yourself upright, your fingers brushing against smooth fabric. It took a moment for you to process that you were no longer sitting in your usual gaming chair but instead sprawled across a bed in an unfamiliar room.

Panic surged through you as your hands instinctively patted your body. Your clothes—these were the same ones you had been wearing at home. Not some in-game avatar outfit, not armor or robes, but your regular, comfortable attire. A lump formed in your throat.

Where were you?

Swinging your legs over the edge of the bed, you stood cautiously. The floor was solid beneath your feet, the air carried a faint, artificial warmth, and there was an unsettling sense of sterility. The room itself was furnished simply—stone walls, a sturdy desk in the corner, and a single window covered by thick curtains. No personal belongings, no obvious signs of anyone else nearby.

You took a cautious step toward the door, pressing your ear against it. Nothing. Not a single sound outside. It was eerily silent, as if the entire world had been muted. Your heart pounded in your chest as you turned got outside. The hallway beyond was dimly lit, stretching in either direction like an empty, endless corridor.

With careful, measured steps, you crept forward. The walls bore unfamiliar insignias, ones you had seen before but couldn’t quite place. Each step only heightened the gnawing sense of wrongness, a creeping realization tickling at the back of your mind.

And then, it hit you.

This place, the architecture, the symbols, the very atmosphere surrounding you—wasn’t just unfamiliar.

It was from the game.

This had to be a dream, some kind of delusion. But everything felt too real—the texture of the wood beneath your fingers, the faint hum of distant energy pulsing through the walls.

You weren’t just playing game anymore.

You were inside it.

Phainon rushed into the room, his usually confident expression faltering as he found the space empty. His gaze darted around, searching for any sign of you, before he quickly turned on his heel and made his way outside.

He found you not far from the building, standing frozen in the street, your wide eyes taking in the impossible surroundings. Without hesitation, he strode toward you, his grip firm yet careful as he took your wrist. "You shouldn’t be wandering around like this" he said, his voice laced with something unreadable. "Come with me."

Before you could protest, he guided you toward a nearby marketplace, bustling with figures in elaborate outfits that contrasted starkly against your ordinary attire. Phainon barely slowed as he led you toward a tailor’s shop, his grip loosening only when he stood before the merchant. "They need something more suitable" he stated, as though it was the most natural thing in the world.

You hesitated, glancing down at your familiar clothes before finally voicing the thought that had been gnawing at you. "Phainon… how do I get back home?"

The weight of Phainon’s stare bore down on you.

"You’re not going home" he said.

"What?"

"I brought you here for a reason." He took a step closer, and instinctively, you stepped back. "You don’t belong in that world anymore. This is where you are now. With me."

"No. This isn’t real. This is just some glitch, right? I’ll find a way back." You clenched your fists. "I’m leaving."

Phainon exhaled, almost amused, almost pitying. "You think you have control?"

Your fingers curled tighter as panic surged through you. Desperation overruled fear as you focused, feeling the familiar weight of the baseball bat materializing in your grip. You didn’t question how—instinct took over.

Without hesitation, you swung at him with all your might.

But the impact never came.

His hand shot up, catching the bat mid-swing with terrifying ease. The force should have knocked him back, should have made him flinch—but he stood there, unmoved, fingers wrapped around the weapon like it was nothing more than a child’s toy.

Then, before your eyes, the bat shimmered, flickering with static before dissolving into cascading lines of glowing code.

"Wha—?" Your voice caught in your throat. You stumbled back, staring at your now-empty hands.

Phainon’s grip tightened slightly before letting the last of the data slip away into the air. "You don’t understand yet, do you?" He tilted his head, watching you with something akin to amusement. "This world bends to my will. Here, I am more than just a warrior. I am its ruler. And you—" He reached for you, but you jerked away.

"You have nothing."

Your mind raced. If Phainon controlled this world, then you needed an ally. Dan Heng. If anyone could help you, it was him. Without another word, you turned on your heel and sprinted in the direction you last saw him.

Phainon moved faster.

Before you could even react, he was in front of you. A sharp pain struck your temple as everything blurred. The world tilted violently, your vision fading to black before you could even cry out.

When you awoke, you were somewhere else. The air was heavy, unfamiliar, and the silence pressed against you like a suffocating weight.

Each time you tried, you discovered something new.

At first, it was small—a fleeting moment where the world around you responded to your thoughts. Like that one door that should have been locked clicking open. Each time you tapped into this power, you felt something unravel within you.

And each time, Phainon was there.

He found you the first time when you forced open a gate leading to the outskirts. He leaned against the stone wall, arms crossed, watching you with a smirk before pulling you back before you could get far.

The second time, when you manipulated the gravity beneath you to leap across a rooftop, he appeared at the other end, effortlessly catching you mid-air and setting you back on solid ground.

The third time, you managed to shroud yourself in the crowd, blending in so well you thought you had finally shaken him. But as you turned a corner, there he stood, leaning against the alley’s entrance with an almost lazy amusement.

Each time, he grew more intrigued.

And each time, he stayed longer.

Phainon visited more than before, finding you no matter where you wandered. Sometimes, he merely watched. Other times, he engaged—teasing you, challenging you, indulging in casual conversation as if you were anything but his captive.

It made you wonder—did his friends ever question him?

One evening, while the sky burned a dusky orange, you finally asked, "If I agree to be with you, will you let me live more freely?"

Phainon studied you, expression unreadable. Then, he laughed softly, stepping closer until the space between you nearly disappeared. His fingers ghosted along your wrist, not quite holding but enough to remind you of his presence.

"Now, that's an interesting question," he murmured. "And one I might just consider."

The days stretched on. You wandered as much as you could within the confines of his reach, testing the limits of your newfound abilities. Sometimes, you found joy in the smallest acts of defiance. Other times, you felt the crushing weight of his attention.

One day, you encountered his friend. The moment you saw him, something about him caught you off guard. He carried himself with effortless grace, his beauty nearly mesmerizing, and for a brief moment, you forgot everything else. The encounter was fleeting, but it left an impression on you.

When you returned, you hesitated before asking, "Who was that? The one with golden eyes?"

Phainon stilled. His usual playful demeanor faltered for just a second before his smile returned. "Mydei" he said simply.

Something about the way he said it made the air feel heavier. You didn’t think much of it at first—until the next day, when he suddenly forbade you from leaving.

"You’re staying here today" he announced casually over breakfast. "No wandering off."

You narrowed your eyes. "Why?"

His smile didn’t waver, but there was an unmistakable sharpness in his gaze. "Do I need a reason?"

You didn’t let him off so easily. Rising to your feet, you grabbed his wrist before he could turn away. "Is this about Mydei?"

For the first time, something dark flickered behind his charming facade. He let out a slow breath, turning fully to face you. His fingers lifted, tracing the side of your face in a deceptively gentle motion.

"You have such a way of testing me," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "I wonder if you even realize it."

His fingers trailed down to your chin, tilting it just slightly as his blue eyes bore into yours. "Tell me," he continued, his tone smooth but laced with something possessive, "did he captivate you that much? Enough to make you forget who keeps you safe?"

Your breath hitched, but you refused to back down. "This isn’t about safety, is it?" you challenged. "You’re jealous."

Phainon chuckled, though there was no real amusement in it. "Jealous?" He repeated the word as if testing its weight on his tongue. Then, he leaned in. "If that’s what you want to call it."

"You belong to me," he murmured, his voice dangerously soft. "So don't mention his name with that mouth of yours again."

This is going out of hand, and you must do something. A way to return to your own world, to get away from him.

You weren’t sure what you had done wrong. You've been trying to find your way back home so you messed with the system's rules, leading to whatever is happening in front of your very eyes.

Sitting before you was a system menu—one that shouldn’t have existed. It flickered, its edges distorted, as if the game itself was resisting your interference. Your heart pounded as you scrolled through the options, desperately searching for a way to force the game to release you.

Your fingers hovered over the last remaining command:

[Modify Event Flags]

A risk. A mistake. But you took it anyway.

A sharp chime rang in your ears, the screen flashing as the world around you trembled. The coding beneath your feet warped like rippling water, a sickening pull dragging you downward as the game executed whatever change you had triggered. Your breath hitched. This wasn’t what you intended. You had tried to bypass Phainon’s control, to force an event where he would let you go.

Instead, the world went dark.

When you woke, your surroundings were unrecognizable.

Gold and ivory silk draped over every surface, the warm glow of lanterns casting soft shadows along the grand walls. Ornate decorations stretched from the ceiling to the floor, the unmistakable scent of fresh roses filling the air. You blinked, your pulse quickening as you sat up, your fingers brushing against the embroidered fabric of an unfamiliar garment.

No. No, this wasn’t right.

“Ah, you’re awake.”

That voice.

You turned to see him.

Phainon stood at the edge of the room, adorned in a ceremonial ensemble far more elaborate than his usual attire. Silver-white hair, blue eyes gleaming with something unreadable. A slow smile curled his lips as he stepped closer, his presence consuming the space between you.

“What… is this?” Your voice was barely above a whisper.

Phainon tilted his head, amusement flickering across his face. “You should already know, shouldn’t you? You’re the one who triggered the event.”

“The event?”

His expression softened, but there was something in his gaze—something terrifyingly certain. He reached out, fingers brushing over your cheek before tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Our wedding.”

Your breath hitched, heart hammering against your ribs as his words settled into your mind. “That’s not possible—I didn’t mean to—”

“But you did,” he murmured, voice impossibly gentle. “The game has already set everything in motion.”

You scrambled out of bed, feet hitting the cold marble floor as you backed away from him. “No, I refuse this. There has to be a way to undo it.”

Phainon’s smile didn’t waver. “There isn’t.”

The weight of his words crashed over you like a tidal wave. The game had overwritten its own path. It had forced you into this event—one where every outcome led to you standing at an altar beside him.

His hand found your wrist before you could run.

“You’ve fought me at every turn,” he mused “And yet, here we are. Together. Just as fate—just as the game itself—has decided.”

You struggled against his grip, but it was firm, unyielding. “This isn’t fate. This is manipulation.”

Phainon chuckled, the sound vibrating deep in his chest. “Then tell me… do you really think you have a choice?”

The doors behind him creaked open, revealing an expanse of guests waiting beyond them—characters you had met, NPCs whose scripts had adapted to fit this sudden turn of events. They were all here for one reason.

For your wedding.

Your breath came fast and shallow as you looked back at him. “You planned this, didn’t you?”

His grip on you tightened just slightly. “No, but that doesn’t mean I’ll let you waste such a perfect opportunity. We're finally able to be together forever.”

You knew then—you were trapped. The game had sealed your fate. You only hoped to get away from him with an error, an event, anything. The system gave you this. You had your choice, but this event involved Phainon, how tragic. And Phainon… Phainon had never looked more satisfied. If it's something he can manipulate, surely he won't let you have your way.

“Now,” he murmured, leaning in close, his lips brushing against your ear. “Shall we begin?”

#yandere x reader #yandere #hsr x reader #honkai star rail #hsr x you #yandere honkai star rail #yandere hsr x reader #phainon x you #yandere phainon #phainon honkai star rail #hsr phainon #phainon hsr #phainon x reader #phainon

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dedalvs · 2 months ago

Note

hey friend, i know you’ve been a pretty serious supporter and user of duolingo for a long time (so have i!), so i’m curious what your feeling is about the announcement that they’re going to be doubling down on using more and more AI for content creation, including using it to avoid having to hire actual humans?

personally, i’m really disappointed - i’ve disliked how much they’ve been using it so far, but the app is otherwise a great tool, and all of the other apps seem to use it, too, so it’s not easy to just jump ship to an app that isn’t using AI. i’ve seen a lot of responses that are like “hurr hurr just use a textbook idiot” which i find really unhelpful; learning from an app is easier and a lot more convenient in a lot of ways than having to use analog materials, especially if you study a high number of languages. still, i don’t ethically feel that i can keep giving them money if this is the direction they’re going.

what are your thoughts?

This is going to be a longer answer than you might have expected.

In 2001, fellow undergrad. Reiko Kataoka (now a professor at San Jose State) resurrected a club that had been dead for a few years at UC Berkeley linguistics: The Society of Linguistics Undergraduates (SLUG). One of its former undergraduate members, Alan Yu (now a professor at the University of Chicago), happened to be a graduate student at Berkeley at the time, so he helped her get it off the ground. The club was exactly what I was looking for at that time: a group for ling. undergrads. to get together and talk about language and linguistics, my new favorite thing. It was great! I even put together a couple phonology problems using my conlangs to distribute at a meeting. The following year I became the second president of the new SLUG and helped to create the SLUG Undergraduate Linguistics Symposium, where I gave my first talk on language creation. Being a part of this club was a major factor in shaping my undergraduate experience at Berkeley.

When I graduated I went to UC San Diego to pursue a graduate degree in linguistics. Part of the reason I chose UCSD was because it was an incredibly inviting atmosphere. Before we accepted they paid for prospective undergraduates down to San Diego and housed them with current grad. students who told them about the program and took them out for dinner, etc. It allowed prospective students to ask questions they wouldn't ask of professors (e.g. who's got beef with who). It was really cool, and so in our second year, we continued the tradition of housing prospective grad. students. Since we both went to Berkeley, my ex-wife (also a Berkeley ling. grad.) and I hosted Klinton Bicknell.

Klinton, it turns out, was the current president of SLUG. I didn't know him while I was at Cal, but we did overlap. It turns out he had renamed the club SLUGS, which I thought was weird. He said "It happened organically" and laughed in an off-putting way. He very much gave off the impression of someone who will smile at you and say whatever is necessary for you to go away. Klinton ended up going to UCSD the following year and I ended up leaving the following year.

Fast forward to 2016. HBO had put the kibosh on Living Language Valyrian, and so I turned to Duolingo. They had previously reached out about putting together a Dothraki course, but I declined, due to having a book out, Living Language Dothraki. With no hope for Valyrian, I asked if they'd be interested in me putting together a course on High Valyrian, which I did. I had some help at the beginning, but, truth be told, most of that course was built by me alone. I became very familiar with the Incubator, where Duolingo contributors built most of their courses. It was a bit clunky, but with enough elbow grease, you could put together something that was pretty darn good. It wasn't as shiny as their in house courses, because they couldn't do things like custom images, speaking challenges, etc., but it was still pretty good.

At the time I joined, everyone who was working in the Incubator was doing it for free. We were doing it because we wanted to put together a high quality course on our language of choice on Duolingo. When Duolingo went public, they realized this situation was untenable, so they began paying contributors. There were contracts, hourly wages, caps on billable hours, etc. It essentially became an as-you-will part time job, which wasn't too bad.

The Incubator faced a couple potentially insurmountable problems. When the courses were created by volunteers, Duolingo could say "This was made by volunteers; use at your own risk", essentially. Once they were paid, though, all courses became Duolingo products, which means they bear more responsibility for their quality. With so many courses (I mean, sooooooooo many courses) it's hard to ensure quality. Furthermore, "quality" doesn't just mean "are the exercises correct" and "are the sentences interesting". Quality means not being asked to translate sentences like "Women can't cook" or "The boy stabbed the puppy". With literally hundreds of courses each with thousands of sentences written by contractors, there was no way for Duolingo to ensure not just that they were staying on brand with these sentences, but that they weren't writing ugly things. There were reporting systems, there were admins that could resolve things behind the scenes, but with so much content, it became a situation where they would have had to hire a ton more people or scale back.

We saw what Duolingo did before with one aspect of their platform that had a similar issue. If you remember way back, Duolingo used to have a "forum", that was a real forum, but for most users, what it meant was on every single sentence in Duolingo users could make comments. These comments would explain grammar points, explain references, make jokes, etc. It was honestly really helpful. But, of course, with any system like that comes trolls, and so volunteers who had come to create language learning resources also found themselves being content reviewers, having to decide which comments to allow, which to delete, who to ban, etc. As Duolingo became more popular, the troll problem grew, and so eventually Duolingo's response was to kill the forum. This mean you were no longer able to see legitimate, helpful comments on sentences. They threw the baby out with the bathwater.

This is why it was no surprise to me when they shuttered the Incubator. The technology was out of date (from their standpoint, you understand. Their in house courses were way more sophisticated, but they couldn't update the Incubator without potentially breaking hundreds of courses they hadn't created themselves), quality assurance was nearly impossible, and they were also paying people to create and maintain these out-of-date courses they had no direct control over. Of course they closed it down. It would've taken a massive investment of time and resources (and capital) to take the Incubator as it was and turn it into something robust and future proof (think old Wordpress vs. Wordpress now), and Duolingo wanted to do other things, instead—like math and music. And so the Incubator died.

But that wasn't the only reason. This was something we heard internally and then heard later on publicly. There was rumbling that Duolingo was using AI to help flesh out their in house courses, which was troubling. This was before the big Gen AI boom, but after a particularly pernicious conlang-creation website I won't name had come to exist, so it caught my attention. I decided to do a little digging and see what this was all about, and I ended up with a familiar name.

Klinton Bicknell.

Indeed, the very same Klinton Bicknell was the head of all AI ventures at Duolingo. Whether enthusiastically or reluctantly or somewhere in between, he was absolutely a part of the decision to close the Incubator and remove all the contractors who had created all the courses that gave Duolingo its reputation. (Because, seriously, why did most of us go to Duolingo? Not for English, Spanish, French, and German.)

I know you sent this ask because of the recent news about Duolingo, but, to be honest, when I saw one of these articles float across my dash I had to check the date, because to me, the news was old. Duolingo isn't just now replacing contractors with AI: They already did. That was the Incubator; those were contractors. That is why there won't be more new language courses on Duolingo, and why the current courses are frozen. This isn't news. This is the continuation of a policy that had already firmly in place, and a direction that rests solidly on the shoulders of Klinton Bicknell.

But you don't have to take my word for it. He's talked about this plenty himself:

Podcast (Generative Now)

Article in Fast Company

Article in CNET

Google can help you find others.

At this point there's a sharp and baffling division in society with respect to generative AI. On the one hand, you have those of us who disapprove of generative AI on a truly fundamental level. Not only is the product something we don't want, the cost—both environmental and ethical—is utterly insupportable. Imagine someone asking you, "Hey, would you like a sandwich made out of shoelaces and shit?" And you say, "God, no, why would anyone ever want that?!" And their response is, "But wait! To make this sandwich out of shoelaces and shit we had to strangle 1,000 kittens and drain the power grid. Now do you want it?"

On the other side, there are people who are still—I mean today—saying things like, "Wow! Have you heard of this AI thing?! It's incredible! I want AI in everything! Can AI make my table better? Can I add AI to my arthritis? We should make everything AI as quickly as possible!"

And conversations between the two sides go roughly like this:

A: Good lord, now they're using AI art on phone ads? Something has to stop this… B: Yeah, it's so cool! Look, I can make a new emoji on my phone with AI! A: Uhhh…what? I was saying it's bad. B: Totally! I wonder if there's an AI shower yet? Like, it could control the temperature so you always have the perfect shower! A: Do you know how much power it takes to run these genAI apps? At a time when we're already struggling with income inequality, housing, inflation, and climate change? B: I know! We should get AI to fix that! A: But AI is the problem! B: Hey ChatGPT: Teach me how to surf!

It's frustrating, because the B group is very much the 💁 group. It's like, "Someone was using ChatGPT and it told them to kill themselves!" and they respond, "Ha, ha! Wow. That shouldn't have happened. What a learning opportunity! ☺️ Hey ChatGPT: How do you make gazpacho?" There's a complete disconnect.

In terms of what you do with your money, it's a difficult thing. For example, I've used Apple computers consistently since 1988. I'm fully immersed in the Apple ecosystem and I love what they do. They, like every other major company, are employing AI. If you go over to r/apple any time one of these articles comes out, it's all comments from people criticizing Apple for not putting together a better AI product and putting it out faster; none saying that they shouldn't be doing it. They're all ravenous for genAI for reasons that defy my understanding. And so what do I do? I've turned off the AI features on all my Apple devices, but beyond that, I'm locked in. From one direction, I look like a hypocrite for using devices created by a company that's investing in AI. From the other direction, though, I am using their devices to say what they're doing is fucking despicable, and they should stop—and I'll keep doing so so long as there's breath in my body.

Duolingo isn't necessary the way that, say, a computer or phone is nowadays. Duolingo is still usable for free, though, of course, they make it a frustrating experience to use its free service. (This is certainly nothing exclusive to Duolingo. That's the way of everything nowadays: streaming services, games, social media... Not "Well give you cool things if you pay!" but "We'll make your life miserable if you don't!") If you do use their Incubator courses, though, I can assure you that those are AI-free. lol They're too outdated to have anything like that. Some of those courses are bigger than others; some are better than others. But all of them were put together by human volunteers, so there's that, at least. At this point, I don't think Duolingo needs your money—nor will they miss it. They're on a kind of macro plane at the moment where the next ten years will either see the company get even bigger or completely disintegrate; there's no in between. They're likely going to take a big swing into education (perhaps something like Duolingo University [Duoversity?]) and it's either going to make a ton of money or bankrupt them. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

I've taken the Finnish course in its entirety and we're doing Hungarian now, and I've learned a lot—not enough, but a lot. I'm grateful for it. I like the platform, and I agree with the basic tenets of the language courses (daily shallow intake is better than occasional deep intake; implicit learning ahead of explicit instruction is better than the reverse). I'm grateful they exist, I'm grateful we can still use them (because they can always retire all of them, remember), and I think it's brought a lot of positivity to the world. I think Luis Van Ahn is a good guy and I hope he can steer this thing back on course, but I'm not putting my money on it.

#no ai #duolingo #ucsd #cal #berkeley #duo

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fandoms-x-reader · 11 months ago

Text

Forget You

Requested By: @deludedprime

Oneshot

Word Count: 10,119

Summary: You are teleported to another universe where you are replaced by another exchange student. Replaced MC! AU The Demon Brothers and Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, and Solomon Short writings for Luke, Thirteen, Mephisto, and Raphael A/N: Sorry this ran so long! Hope you enjoy!

Life is full of expected occurrences. Things you never dreamt of happening. Moments you never knew you would miss until they happen.

You didn’t expect to come to the Devildom. In fact, if someone had told you that one day you would be ripped from your life and be essentially dragged down to Hell by demons - you would have called them crazy. Either that, or your death was coming up and they knew it.

You didn’t expect to come to love those very same demons - so much so that you couldn’t imagine your life without them.

You didn’t expect to meet an angel that had captured your heart or a surprisingly charming sorcerer. You didn’t expect to meet a reaper or an archangel either.

And - you certainly didn’t expect to lose them - in a way so painful that you couldn’t bear it.

No, you never would have expected that.

You weren’t entirely sure how you ended up in this situation. It was only a few days ago when everything had been right in the world.

You were at a ball held at the Demon’s Lord Castle. It was a ball that Diavolo had been planning for a long time. And it was one that everyone was excited to go to.

You, of course, were accompanied by the seven demon brothers. They stayed by your side the entire night, switching off who got to dance with you. If they were lucky, Solomon and Simeon might sneak in a dance. And if he wasn’t busy, Diavolo would come and ask you to dance. It’s not like the brothers could tell him no.

It was a night full of fun and laughter. It was one of those memories you would miss.

The night started to come to a close and everyone had gathered for a mixer dance. It was a traditional ballroom dance where you start with one partner but end up with a completely different one by the end of it.

You had started the dance with Lucifer and changed partners to the beat as often as the song required. By the end of it, you weren’t sure where any of your friends were. You were on the opposite side of the room.

The song was almost over as you reached your final partner. It was a demon in all black with a somewhat cold expression on his face.

As soon as your hands touched his, you felt a terrible feeling in your stomach. Something wasn’t right here. You tried to pull away, but the demon grasped your hands even tighter to keep you in place.

The song finally ended, but the demon didn’t move, staring into your eyes. You felt incredibly uncomfortable under his gaze, and it didn’t take long for the demon brothers to notice.

The demon was pushed back, his hands dropping yours as Mammon said, “Song’s over.” Mammon was glaring at the demon and you saw the other six of them slowly making their way over to you.

The demon left without a word and a shiver ran down your spine. Weird. “Are ya’ alright?” Mammon asked, turning his attention to you. You nodded your head before replying, “He was just giving me a bad feeling.”

“We should be heading home, the ball is coming to an end,” Lucifer stated and everyone seemed to agree.

But, before anyone could move, Diavolo suddenly stood before everyone declaring he had an announcement to make. You thought it was strange that he chose the end of the night to tell his news, but you didn’t question it. He was the future Demon King and he could do whatever he wanted.

Diavolo proceeded to sing the praise of the success of the current exchange student program and you slightly blushed as you felt a lot of eyes on you. Then, Diavolo stated that because of that success, the elder demons had agreed to allow Diavolo to expand the program this year.

There was going to be a new human exchange student who would be arriving in the Devildom in just the next few days.

Everyone seemed to react differently to the news. You were excited. You would finally have another human to bond with! Nothing against Solomon, it’s just that you weren’t entirely sure if human was the right word to describe what he was.

Diavolo had decided that the new human exchange student would live at Purgatory Hall for their time here since you already occupied the guest room in the House of Lamentation.

The first day the exchange student arrived, the assembly room was bustling with enthusiasm. Normally, the assembly hall was reserved for members of the student council only, but Diavolo wanted everyone to be able to meet the new student.

Barbatos had been the one to teleport them to the Devildom and you felt nostalgic about the scene. It wasn’t too long ago that you were in their position, coming to the Devildom for the first time.

The difference was that you didn’t know anyone or even where you were when you were teleported. You had kindly asked that the new exchange student be told they would be coming to the Devildom.

You wouldn’t take back any of the memories you had from your time in the Devildom. But, you knew how unfair it could be to be torn from your life and thrown into an entirely new one. You believed that the new student would have a better experience if they at least knew what to expect.

So, Barbatos had given them a brief explanation about everyone they would be meeting. Likewise, you were all given a file on them. It was basic information, like where they came from and what their hobbies were. And the files they were given were things like your names and the abilities you each possessed.

And even though you were meeting for the first time, it didn’t feel like the two of you were complete strangers. You got the impression that the others felt the same way as well because as soon as the new student appeared, any anxiety they seemed to have about the situation dissipated.

Barbatos gave a very brief introduction and you wore a welcoming smile. The first thing you noticed was the way everyone seemed to be gawking at the new student. They were definitely attractive - but with the way they were staring, you were sure they would freak them out.

You gently elbowed Lucifer first and he quickly snapped out of his trance. He kicked off the introductions and everyone soon followed suit. You noticed how quickly they got along with the new student. Maybe it was because everyone had already gone through this process or maybe it was because they were just that easy to like. You weren’t sure which was the reason.

It went smoothly at first. The new student was nice enough to you and you did what you could to help them. They adjusted rather smoothly in the Devildom and you were impressed by it. You felt like you had adjusted pretty quickly to the Devildom as well, but not this quick.

Everyone was enamored with the new student. Part of you couldn’t blame them - they were amazing. But, another part of you couldn’t help but start to feel left out.

It started with small things that you thought wouldn’t matter in the long run. You chalked it all up to the excitement of a new person. But, then you started to notice more specific things.

_______________

Lucifer had made plans a long time ago with you to go see an opera. It was an iteration of an opera from the human world and you were excited to go see it with him. You couldn’t wait to see what human elements they kept in and what elements they added in from the Devildom.

Not to mention, you and Lucifer didn’t have a lot of time to spend alone with each other now, so you were excited for your night together.

The excitement didn’t last long though as you came home from RAD and saw Lucifer talking to the new exchange student, offering them a ticket instead. The smile on Lucifer’s face was one of complete joy. “There’s no one else I’d want to go with,” Lucifer told them.

Your heart skipped a beat at his words and you quickly removed yourself from the scene without catching their attention. You couldn’t help but wonder if Lucifer ever smiled at you like that. If your presence ever made him that happy.

_______________

You and Mammon went to the casino together almost every weekend. It was like a routine. The first time he convinced you to go, he told you that you were his lucky charm and that he wouldn’t be able to win without you. And, with a nickname like that, how could you refuse?

It wasn’t long before Mammon stopped considering the casino trips as a get-rich-quick scheme and started genuinely enjoying his time with you there. He always made sure to keep you close to him and wore a proud smile whenever he won. And he never missed a date with you to the casino.

So when he was nowhere to be seen, you got a bit worried. You thought maybe he was going to meet you there so you quickly left to find him. But, when you did, you wished you hadn’t looked in the first place.

He was at the casino, his arm around the new exchange student as he rolled the dice. He wore the same proud smile he used to give you as they rolled to the perfect number. Then, he turned to them and pulled them close to him before telling them, “You’re my lucky charm, ya’ know that?”

And just like that, every meaning those words ever held in your heart disappeared. You felt like you should be hurt, but the shock was taking over your emotions at the current moment. You could feel a rush of emotions and you prayed Mammon wouldn’t see you as you quickly left the casino.

_______________

You were Levi’s one and only true friend, right? You were his Henry. You meant something special to Levi - you were sure of it.

You didn’t think much of it when Levi started showing TSL to the new exchange student. It was his favorite series, so of course he wanted to show it to whoever he could. But, you did notice how close they sat together. Levi had told you he wasn’t a fan of physical touch - so you thought it was strange when his leg or hand brushed theirs and he didn’t react.

You shook your head as you tried to push the thoughts out of your head. You had only been passing by on your way to the room. You weren’t trying to spy or impose and you thought it was time to go back to your room.

“You’d be Henry to my Lord of Shadows,” Levi told them and you froze as you heard them both laugh. Them? Henry? Maybe you didn’t mean something special to Levi after all.

_______________

Reading was your and Satan’s thing. It had been something the two of you did regularly ever since the two of you had grown closer. He would sit close to you or hold you on his lap as the two of you read together, and he would occasionally look up from the book just to admire you.

It was something that made you feel so special because of how uninterested he was with you at first. You had to earn your way to that point in your relationship. You had to gain his trust and prove that you cared about him.

Not the new exchange student though. Within the first couple of weeks, they were in Satan’s arms as he read to them, his eyes holding more love than you thought was possible for someone nicknamed the Avatar of Wrath.

You wished you could burn the sight out of your mind. And maybe you could have forgotten it if you didn’t hear him read the book in his hand aloud. It was Romeo and Juliet - a classic from the human world. Satan was reading Romeo’s lines and had asked them to read Juliet’s.

"Did my heart love till now?” Satan asked, and you knew there was more to the line. But he stopped - he faltered - genuinely asking himself the question as he gazed upon the human sitting next to him. A smile graced his lips as he pulled them closer.

_______________

When there was no more love to give, you were sure Asmo would still have some. He was the best at making sure everyone felt loved. He didn’t want to see anyone upset - it would give them frown lines!

You thought that you and Asmo were supposed to attend a fashion show together. He had mentioned that it was happening to you a little while ago. And then posted all over social media that he would be bringing his favorite human.

Maybe it was naive of you to believe that person was you. You just thought that you held that place after everything you had been through. But, when you went to his room to get ready for the night, you found him doing the new exchange student’s makeup. “We’re going to look like a power couple tonight!” he told them excitedly and you realized how wrong you were.

You quickly hid in the hallway, not wanting to be seen by either of them. “Before I met you, I only knew desire - not love,” Asmo added and you felt your heart drop. Was that all he felt for you then? Was there nothing that separated you from others?

_______________

Having Beel choose someone else over you was one of the worst feelings. Beel was the most comforting when you were upset. He always listened and gave the best hugs. So, when all these things started happening, you needed someone to talk to so that you didn’t break down.

You had asked Beel to go out to dinner with you that night and he agreed. You were so thankful that you would finally be able to get things off your chest and had waited for him to get home so that you could go to the restaurant together.

It had been an hour and then two and there was no sign of him. He hadn’t responded to your calls or your text messages. You gave up on your outing with Beel and moved to the kitchen to fix yourself a snack for dinner. That’s when you heard Beel come home with the new exchange student.

“Thanks for going to dinner with me tonight, you’re my favorite person to spend time with besides Belphie,” Beel told them and you stayed as quiet as you could, trying not to make your presence known. Who do you go to for comfort when your comfort person isn’t there?

_______________

Belphie annoyed you a bit when he started growing closer to the new exchange student. You didn’t have anything against them - how could you when they hadn’t done anything to you personally?

But you had to die - correction, Belphie had to kill you - in order for him to even want to get to know you. And yet, in a matter of a couple of weeks, he was all over the new student. What was so wrong with you that he couldn’t have done the same for you?

He pretty much never slept on your lap anymore, searching high and low for them. Only wanting them. You were no longer good enough for his naps. You were no longer the one who gave him good dreams and restful sleep.

Maybe you only had yourself to blame. You were the one who changed his perspective of humans. But, regardless of whether it was your fault, it still hurt when he told them, “I finally understand what Lilith saw in humans.” He had found the human he wanted - not the one he was given.

_______________

Diavolo wasn’t known for being biased. He was taught that as the future King, he would have to put personal preferences aside and do what was best for the Devildom. You could see that conditioning in him since the first time you met him.

He wouldn’t be outright flirtatious with you. He would simply admire from afar. But, when the two of you were alone his true feelings came out. Secrets being told of how you changed him. Words of love and gratitude that were meant for your ears and your ears alone.

He wasn’t so secretive when it came to the new exchange student. He would give them flowers in the middle of the halls at RAD. He would wear a joyful smile as they clutched his arm when walking them through the campus. As if he was showing them off. He had never looked that prideful when he was walking with you.

You had walked out into the courtyard when you saw the two of them. You were just trying to go home, so you attempted to walk around them. That’s when you heard Diavolo tell them, “You are far more exquisite than any human I’ve ever met.”

_______________

If you thought Barbatos wouldn’t be one to fall for the new student’s charms, think again. He may be Diavolo’s butler, but he has a mind of his own, and he has feelings of his own. Feelings that had somehow now belonged to the new exchange student.

Barbatos didn’t have much time outside of work, so the two of you were never able to do anything specific together. So, it wasn’t that you caught Barbatos doing one of your things with them. It was what Barbatos was doing to you.

He hadn’t said anything to you - that would be improper. But you could see it in his eyes and the way he acted. How he somehow always managed to stand next to them while simultaneously giving you a slight look of disapproval.

Then, you heard him say to them, “You’re by far the best decision the young Lord has made.” You hadn’t said or done anything different. So, why were you suddenly considered not good enough in Barbatos’ eyes?

_______________

Solomon was naturally drawn to the new exchange student. After all, even though the term was stretched when talking about him, he was human. And, it was only natural for humans to want to be around other humans.

But, you didn’t realize that spending time with the new human meant casting you aside. He had been your teacher and you had been his apprentice. But he chose to forego your training in magic. He had something more important to do. Someone more important to teach.

He didn’t think twice as he practically abandoned your teaching and spent as much time as possible teaching the new student everything he knew about magic. You could admit that it hurt because you had put so much effort into trying to learn and be a good student.

It hurt more though when Solomon told them, “I’m excited to finally teach an apprentice who is actually skilled in magic.” You thought you were doing good. When you started learning from Solom, you thought you had no magical ability whatsoever. So you were proud of the accomplishments you had made. But, apparently, your best effort would never touch them on their worst day.

____________

Angels were known for being benevolent entities. So, you never would have expected Simeon to be just like the others. Another person in your life who was so blinded by the new exchange student that he had completely forgotten about you.

They were the one Simeon went to now to put a smile on his face. They were the one Simeon admired from a distance, wondering how such beauty could exist.

Simeon had told you once that he believed you had come from the Celestial Realm because you were the perfect balance of everything good. Kindness, bravery, beauty, etc. He could have rambled on. You thought it was a compliment of the highest regard - until he said the same thing to them.

Was it a line that you fell for? You couldn’t imagine Simeon would be the type to use pick-up lines. So, then, he meant it at the time. But, now he had found someone else who inspired those same emotions - stronger emotions. He had found his new muse.

_______________

Luke had always been one you could count on to be your friend. He constantly worried about you and wanted to make sure you were staying out of trouble. He was so worried about you losing your soul or having it tainted by the demons that surrounded you.

He stopped worrying though when he met the new exchange student. Suddenly, there was someone else he cared about more. Someone else he thought was more worth protecting. He didn’t even think twice now if he heard you got into any kind of trouble.

And, any pastries or sweets immediately went to the new student. They were his taste-tester because ‘they were the only one he could trust for an honest and good opinion.’ He even went so far as to add, ‘The other person I asked doesn’t know how to give a proper review. But you seem like you actually know what you’re doing!’

It wasn’t hard to figure out who he was talking about considering you were the only other one he had asked to try his pastry. And after that time, he bypassed you and just went straight to the new student.

_______________

It’s strange to think that a reaper would have preferences for humans. You would have thought that all humans were the same to them. After all, death is death no matter which way you look at it. But, Thirteen certainly had a preference.

Your shiny soul is what first attracted Thirteen to you. She thought it was so special. And because of that, the two of you had the opportunity to grow closer. You bonded with her over her traps and you tried to show her so many other things.

But, your soul wasn’t as special as you thought. According to Thirteen, the new student’s was so much more shiny. It was so much more special. There wasn’t another human soul that could compare to theirs.

And soon after that revelation, you had become a ghost to Thirteen. She already didn’t make too many appearances, and now when she did show up, they were the only ones she wanted to see. She could care less about you.

_______________

There was an adjustment period before Mephisto came to like you. But, after he had gotten to know you, he understood why the others were so infatuated with you. There was something remarkable about humans.

But, you weren’t the only human in the world and you weren’t the only one who was unique. It took no time for Mephisto to take an interest in the new exchange student. Maybe it was the way they carried themselves with confidence. In your defense, you would have had a lot more confidence when you first came if you had the same preparation they got.

You had stopped helping Mephisto with the RAD newspaper after their arrival. You had introduced them to the club and didn’t take them long to take over that as well.

“You’re far more efficient than Y/N and you yield much better results,” you heard Mephisto say and that was the last day you came to the club. There was no point in going somewhere where you clearly weren’t wanted.

_______________

Even Raphael had managed to hop on board the “new exchange student” train. He had only visited the Devildom a couple of times since they came. And, he had the pleasure of talking to them each time.

His compliments seemed to be never-ending. You had never heard Raphael speak so much and with such enthusiasm. It was as if he was writing a poem about them with the words he decided to speak.

You wondered what exactly the new exchange student had that had grabbed the attention of the high-ranking angel. There must have been a quality they had that you were missing because you had done everything you could to gain Raphael’s favor.

“I never thought a human would be worth an angel’s time until now,” he stated. There were few things Raphael liked more than spears, and he had effectively driven one through your heart.

_______________

Things only escalated from there. You were the last thing on anyone’s mind. No one wanted to spend time with you anymore. You meant nothing to them.

At one point, the brothers had asked if it would be possible to switch your position in the House of Lamentation with the new exchange student. They just believed the new student would fit in better with them.

Diavolo had agreed to the request and the next thing you knew, you were moving into Purgatory Hall. They didn’t even pause to ask you what you thought about the situation. They just wanted the new exchange student.

Simeon did try to be sympathetic when you had first come to Purgatory Hall, but you could see the disappointment on his face. You could see it on all of their faces. No one wanted you.

Being at Purgatory Hall was uncomfortable because your presence just made your roommates miss the other human. So, you spent a lot of time out and about, only using your room at Purgatory Hall for sleep.

You avoided everyone as much as possible, not wanting to see their disappointed and cold looks when their eyes met yours. You wanted to go back to the human world and leave them behind, but Diavolo wouldn’t allow it until the school year was over. You were trapped.

Days turned to weeks and those turned to months. You felt like time was dragging on, taking you piece by piece with it. You only knew what day it was because today was your birthday.

You didn’t expect anyone to remember. You didn’t expect anyone to care. But it still hurt when you didn’t get a single text message or phone call. You really were alone here. You had no one who loved you.

You didn’t want to spend your birthday sulking in silence so you decided to go out on the town at night. You just wanted to go look at some shops and maybe buy yourself a cake from Madam Devian’s.

But you should have known better than to explore the Devildom at night by yourself. It didn’t take long for a group of demons to find you and attack you.

You could have used the pacts to call the demon brothers and have them save you. But you could imagine the anger on their faces at having been torn away from the one they wanted to spend time with. You wondered if you called them if they would even try to save you.

You couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You simply took every bit of pain the demons dealt until they were satisfied, leaving you broken on the ground.

You were lying on the pavement, looking up at the Devildom sky when a couple of tears escaped your eyes.

You were beginning to bleed out, but you knew that you couldn’t get up and move. This was where you were going to die. All by yourself with no one caring whether or not you slipped away from them. And as you took your final breath, all you could do was pray that this was a horrible nightmare that you would wake up from.

_______________

“Song’s over.”

You let out a gasp as your eyes snapped open. You were at Diavolo’s ball and the demon in black was standing in front of you for a moment before disappearing. Mammon stood in front of you now, concern in his eyes as he looked at you.

“Are ya’ alright?” he asked and you felt like your head was spinning. You had already been here. He had already asked you that. The other brothers had now joined your side and you felt your emotions rushing you as your mind replayed everything you had just witnessed.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Satan asked, gently placing his hand on your shoulder and you subconsciously flinched from the touch as the walls holding back the dam of tears you had were starting to crumble.

They left you for someone else. They didn’t want you. They didn’t care about you. You remembered everything so well. You felt everything that happened. It had to have been real.

You finally looked into their eyes with tears falling from yours and at this point, they were all incredibly worried about you. They could see how much pain you were in but they didn’t know what to do to help. Suddenly, the crowd and the music were overbearing and you needed to leave.

So that’s what you did. You immediately began running out of the ball, not wanting to be around anyone else. In a happier situation, you would have looked like Cinderella running away from her prince. But right now, you just wanted to lock yourself in your room and try to figure out what was going on while letting yourself feel every emotion you were trying to hold back.

You had taken your outfit off the second you got to your room, the fancy fabric was too tight for you right now when you felt like you were on the verge of hyperventilating. You changed into whatever felt the most comfortable and then sat on your bed, your knees tucked into your chest as tears freely poured down your cheeks.

You weren’t sure how long it had been until someone came to check on you.

Lucifer followed after you almost immediately after you left the ball. He knew how dangerous the Devildom was for a human and he wanted to ensure that you got home safely.

But with him having to push through the people at the ball and not knowing exactly where you were headed, he ended up arriving at the house just shortly after you.

He immediately went to your room and gently knocked on the door. He waited a moment for you to answer it, but when you didn’t he slowly turned the knob and opened it. Did you forget to lock the door?

It wasn’t that you necessarily didn’t want to see Lucifer, you just didn’t hear him knock through all the thoughts that were racing in your mind.

Lucifer approached the bed and sat down next to you, carefully taking your hand in his as his eyes burned with concern.

He waited until you were ready, not wanting to push you. And when you finally spoke, Lucifer listened to every word you said. From the beginning of the story to the end.

He made a promise to himself that he was going to find that demon and give him a proper punishment for putting you through this pain. But, that could wait.

“After everything you’ve done for me and my family, do you really think you could be that easily replaced?” Lucifer asked and your eyes finally met his, seeing the genuineness in them. He had never been so serious about something in his life.

You were the only human who had ever stirred up these feelings inside of Lucifer. And he would prove that to you every day if that’s what it took.

He never wanted you to doubt his love for you, because he knew how strong it was. And he knew that no other human could replace you in his heart - ever.

Lucifer had told you that the entire endeavor wasn’t real and that you had been at the ball the entire night.

The memories you had felt so real. Your death felt so real. But, this moment with Lucifer felt more real. Beyond that, it felt right.

You felt like a million weights were being lifted off of you as you let yourself rest against his shoulder.

Lucifer pulled you even further into him and you allowed him to, his touch soothing every tainted memory you had.

The opera date was something the two of you were actually talking about and Lucifer made sure to get you tickets to opening night. He spoiled you relentlessly that night because there was no one else he’d rather go with than you.

Mammon’s heart broke when he saw the sad look in your eyes and the tears falling down your cheeks when you finally looked up at them.

When you started running, Mammon was torn between following after you and finding that demon who had been dancing with you. He wanted to ask him what the hell he did to you. But that demon was nowhere in sight, so Mammon went with the former option and went to the House of Lamentation.

He paused in front of your door when he heard you crying and he steadied himself before gently knocking on your door.

It took you a moment to open the door and when you finally did Mammon could see the extent of your sadness.

He wanted nothing more than to rush in and hug you, to comfort you the way that you always comforted him, but he could see the wary look that you had in your eyes when you looked at him so he didn’t. Did he do something wrong?

You moved out of the doorframe to let Mammon in before closing the door again and you both sat down on your bed.

“What happened?” Mammon asked, naturally looking over your body for any signs of injuries. If that demon laid a hand on you, he swore he would find him and kill him.

You had to take a couple of breaths to keep your composure before you told him what had happened. Everything from the casino to you dying.

When you reached the end of your story, Mammon was on the verge of his own tears. He couldn’t believe that any version of him would ever hurt you like that. But - it wasn’t real. He knew that it wasn’t real and he wanted you to know that it wasn’t real.

He decided to take the risk and pulled you into his arms, tucking your head into the crook of his neck as your tears fell onto his shirt.

“That would never happen,” Mammon reassured you and more tears fell. You wanted to believe him so desperately.

“How do you know?” you asked him. There was no way he could be sure because he had never been put in that situation.

“Because I’m not just your first man. You’re my first human. You’re my only human,” Mammon admitted, thankful that you couldn’t see how red his cheeks were.

You leaned even further into Mammon’s touch, something you had been longing to do the entire time you were in that nightmare.

And being in his arms - you knew. Your Mammon would never replace you.

Levi was immediately alarmed when you had looked up at him with tears in your eyes. But when you started running - he was panicking. He’s admitted this before, but he’s seriously bad in crises.

He did nothing but question himself over and over again on what he should do. Was he supposed to follow you? Was he supposed to find that other demon?

He knew he had to act quickly before one of his other brothers decided to swoop in and save the day, so he went after you.

He spent a good five minutes standing outside your door just listening to you cry until he finally got the courage to knock on the door.

When you opened it, he immediately tensed up. He was freaking out on the inside. Was he supposed to hug you? Maybe hold your hand?

You moved back to your bed and Levi followed, timidly sitting down next to you. He was afraid if he breathed the wrong way that it would only make things worse.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Levi asked and was relieved when you nodded your head. You explained everything to him.

When you were done, Levi was mostly in shock. The idea of liking another human more than you was unheard of.

Not to mention cuddling on the couch with them while showing them TSL for the first time was a total normie thing to do! They would have had to at least watched it multiple times with him for him to even consider it. Levi would have to deem them worthy to want to be that close to them.

You were someone he deemed that worthy. He didn’t call you his true friend because it was a dumb nickname. He called you it because he meant it. Friend was a synonym for partner and in his mind that’s what you were to him. You were his true partner.

“Henry isn’t someone the Lord of Shadows could just replace. Their relationship is way too special for that,” Levi stated and you gave him a small smile. A smile that somehow gave Levi the confidence to say what he really meant to say.

“You’re not someone I could ever replace either,” Levi said, a blush on his cheeks as he looked down at his hands that were in his lap.

You gently took his hand in yours, wanting more comfort than only his words could provide. He didn’t even flinch when you touched him, happy to provide whatever comfort he could to his Henry.

Few things sent Satan into a flying rage as easily as seeing his human crying. The second he saw the tears rolling down your cheeks, he was angry. And that anger only built when you flinched at his touch and ran from them.

He was out for blood and he was eager to find it. His eyes were burning bright green as he scanned the area for the demon who had done this to you.

But he was nowhere to be seen. Satan had memorized his face. He could find him. It wouldn’t take too long.

But, Lucifer stopped him. In his angry state of mind, Satan was tempted to attack him for getting in his way. Until Lucifer told him, “She needs you.”

Those words were enough to stop Satan in his tracks as the anger that had been burning bright inside of him fizzled out.

He immediately went to the House of Lamentation and knocked on your door. He pushed down the wrath that was starting to build again when he saw you, and he gently reached his hand out to you. Then he remembered the way you had flinched at his touch and his hand dropped back down to his side.

You led him over to your bed and he allowed you to explain what had happened without any interruptions. He was livid when you told him you had died. Alone while he was nowhere to be seen. And his vendetta against the demon only strengthened as he listened to all the pain he put you through.

Another tear fell down your cheek and Satan carefully reached up and brushed it away with his thumb, his hand resting against your cheek.

It didn’t matter how angry he was right now, you didn’t need that side of him. You needed the side of him that was soft and caring. The side only you elicited.

“Romeo and Juliet?” Satan questioned and you locked eyes with him. “How cliche,” he added. He didn’t want a love like Romeo and Juliet. He wanted a love that transcended it. A love that couldn’t be described by words on paper because it was too strong - too unique. A love that he felt for you.

You leaned into Satan’s touch and he dared to pull you into his lap. Something he had done so comfortably other times, but now it had a deeper, more intimate meaning. No one would ever feel as good as you to have in his arms.

From that day on, Satan made sure to read you every single romantic line he found in one of his books so that you knew that you were his one and only love.

Asmo hated seeing you cry. It wasn’t that you looked bad when you were crying. He believed you were so perfect that you looked good doing anything.

But, someone as beautiful as you should never cry. You deserve all the happiness in the world.

Asmo was quick to reach the House of Lamentation after you and was barely able to control himself long enough to knock instead of just entering the room.

When you opened the door, Asmo immediately pulled you into a hug. He had noticed the way you had flinched at Satan’s touch and he was hoping you wouldn’t push him away. All he wanted to do was comfort you and this was the way he knew how. If he was upset a hug would instantly make him feel better.

You were tense at first when Asmo first wrapped his arms around you, but slowly you relaxed into the hug and after you had calmed down a little bit, Asmo took to over to your bed. He asked you to tell him what happened while gently wiping away all of your tears.

Asmo was appalled as you explained everything that had happened. They had all replaced you just like that? As if you didn’t mean anything to them?

“Do you really think the only thing I feel for you is desire?” Asmo questioned and you felt taken aback.

Before all this had happened you would have never believed it. You would have trusted in Asmo’s love for you.

But, after everything you had been through, you did question it. You wanted it to be real. You wanted to know that it was real.

Asmo looked into your eyes and saw the internal struggle you were having. He could tell that whatever world the demon put you in made you doubt Asmo’s love for you and it broke his heart.

“Hun, you’re the only one who’s ever made me feel something more. The only one who’s made me feel loved and the only one that I’ve fallen in love with,” Asmo stated honestly.

You felt a new wave of tears come and he wiped them as they fell. He would always love you. It didn’t matter who came into his life or who tried to take him away from you. They would never be able to take away the feelings he felt for you. He was positive of it.

Beel is quick to react when he sees you crying. He wanted to immediately give you a hug but he stopped himself when he saw you flinch away from Satan.

At first, he thought that maybe one of his brothers had done something to you. Or was it him? He didn’t remember doing anything that could have caused you to be so upset.

When you started running away, Beel remembered the demon that you were dancing with and he started looking all around for him.

He left shortly after he realized that the demon had disappeared somewhere. He trusted Lucifer would find and punish the demon, and he wanted to check on you.

He was nervous when he first approached your room. Would you flinch away from him as well?

When you opened the door and he saw how broken you looked, he threw all of his worries out the window. He wanted to be there for you. He needed to be there for you. But he would never push you into doing something you weren’t comfortable with.

He opened his arms, offering you a hug and you paused for a moment, contemplating it. But, as previously stated, he was your comfort person.

So you moved forward, practically collapsing into his arms, finding the comfort you had been so desperately seeking.

Beel immediately engulfed you in his arms, thankful that you hadn’t turned him away. He couldn’t stand seeing you so sad.

He gently rubbed your back, doing what he could to help you feel better and when you finally calmed down a bit, you explained everything that had happened.

The image of you dying when you told your story was enough for tears to start to form in his own eyes. He couldn’t imagine losing you like he lost Lilith.

He pulled you even tighter into him and the hug had now turned from him comforting you to the two of you comforting each other.

“You know that you’re my favorite person to spend time with besides Belphie, right?” Beel asked softly. You had to know it. He had to hear you say that you knew it. He never wanted you to question your place in his heart.

You ran the question through your mind a couple of times. The experience you just had made you want to believe it was a lie. But, with him hugging you now, you couldn’t deny your feelings for each other.

You nodded your head, unable to speak words. But, Beel wasn’t a man of many words either so your gesture was enough to make his shoulders relax with relief.

He’ll make sure he’s always there to comfort you when you need it.

Belphie didn’t know how to react at first when he saw you crying. He hadn’t ever seen you cry before. Your resolve was usually so strong that nothing could break you.

He knew something was really wrong when you ran away from them. Whatever the demon had done to you, it must have been very messed up. And now, he wanted blood. He wanted revenge for hurting you.

He was incredibly frustrated when he looked around and couldn’t find the demon in sight. Where could he have possibly gone in such a short amount of time?

He was too lazy to hunt the demon down though. He would leave that job to Lucifer or Diavolo and ask for a turn in punishing them when they found him.

Instead, he chose to go to the House of Lamentation and check on you.

He was unexpectedly anxious when he knocked on the door. Part of him wanted to leave, scared that his presence wouldn’t help. He had killed you.

He didn’t have time to act on his insecurities though as you opened the door and came face to face with him.

He was speechless when he saw your sad features and he made a promise that after tonight he would make sure he never saw you this sad again.

You allowed Belphie to enter your room and sat with him on the bed. There were a few moments of awkward silence when you finally started talking.

When you first started explaining, Belphie wanted to laugh. You were kidding, right? Him? Liking another human more than you?

He didn’t even like other humans. He merely tolerated them because of you. So the idea of liking one more than you was unthinkable.

But, when you finished explaining your story, he was upset. The images of you dying once already haunted his nightmares, and now you were telling him that you died again? And the way you died - Belphie knew that the new images would plague his mind.

Before you even knew what was happening, Belphie pulled you down onto your bed and held you in his arms.

“You are why I understand what Lilith saw in humans. That’s never going to change,” Belphie told you, holding you tightly in his arms. He wanted to give you every ounce of the love he had for you and hoped that it would be enough to give you any kind of comfort.

He visited you in your sleep almost every night to chase away any dreams of your time in that nightmare. He never wanted you to think of it again, because none of it was true, and it never would be true.

Diavolo was just about to wrap up the night when he noticed a demon in black dancing with you. He immediately got a bad feeling about the demon and took a step towards him, but then saw that the demon brothers had the situation under control.

He remained in his place as the song winded down, but he once again faltered when he saw you running out of the castle. He wanted to immediately run after you, but his duties required him to keep his composure.

He was taking deep breaths as he put on a fake smile and said the closing comments of the ceremony, wishing everyone a good night.

As soon as the last person left, his resolve crumbled as he approached the brothers and asked what had happened.

They told him what little they knew and Diavolo went back to the House of Lamentation with them. He wanted to check on you personally. It was his ball that you ran out of, after all. And he wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight if he didn’t see you after you looked so upset.

Diavolo knocked on the door, attempting to respect your privacy. But, he was sure if you didn’t answer it, he would have busted it down to make sure that you were okay.

Luckily, you opened the door soon after he knocked and your sorrow passed onto him as soon as he saw you.

He took a few steps in and closed the door behind him, wanting this to be a private conversation.

“I don’t mean to intrude, but I saw you leave the ball upset, and I was worried about you,” Diavolo stated and you gave him a small, sad smile.

“Thank you for checking on me,” you replied quietly and Diavolo needed you to talk about what was going on. He wanted to help.

“Would you tell me what happened?” he questioned, gently taking your hand in his to reassure you that you could talk to him.

You gave a small nod before explaining everything that had happened that night and Diavolo was immediately concerned. How did a demon like that even manage to get past the castle security? More so, how had he managed to get to his exchange student?

“I assure you, I have no upcoming plans to expand the exchange program. And if it did happen, I would never forget you or replace you. Not after the way you’ve made me feel,” Diavolo told you, looking deeply into your eyes as he held both of your hands now.

He’ll also make sure to walk with you around RAD more and show you off because he was proud to be walking next to you. He’ll shower you with love and gifts in front of everyone to prove the feelings that he held for you.

Barbatos had immediately sensed something was wrong when you and the demon had locked hands, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was. Like Diavolo, he moved to help you until he noticed the demon brothers stepping in.

He thought that they had it under control, so he remained at Lord Diavolo’s side. But, he was quickly proven wrong when he saw you running out of the castle crying.

Barbatos immediately looked to Lord Diavolo and Diavolo gave him a nod communicating everything Barbatos needed to know. He was allowing Barbatos to go check on you.

Barbatos quickly went to the House of Lamentation, not bothering to speak to the brothers about what happened. He would find out from you.

He could have teleported directly into your room, but he decided to try and be respectful of the current situation you were in so he knocked on the door.

When you opened the door, he saw how deeply sad you were and he was panicking slightly. He’s never had to console a human who was this sad.

He offered you his handkerchief and you gave him a small smile of gratitude as you took it from him, gently dabbing away your tears.

Barbatos could sense time magic on you the second you had opened the door. He knew that you had somehow been teleported to another universe and that something tragic happened there. But, he still let you explain it to him in your own words.

He listened attentively as you told him the story and he paid attention to every detail. Like any good butler would.

A new wave of tears had begun to fall as you spoke and Barbatos took the handkerchief back from you, carefully wiping them away himself this time.

When you finished talking, Barbatos’ first thought was torture. He could come up with a hundred creative ways to punish the demon who sent you to that universe. And when Barbatos was hunting someone down, there was no running and there was certainly no hiding.

But after the anger had begun to fade, he looked at your sorrowful features once again. You were something special and no one could ever take that away from you.

“When Diavolo first mentioned the exchange program to me, I looked through the timelines to make sure it didn’t end badly for the young Lord. Trust me when I tell you this, Y/N - you are the best decision he has ever made,” Barbatos promised you, wiping away the last of your tears.

He would never look at you with disdain because he knew how unhappy everyone would be if they didn’t have you in their life. Including him.

Simeon wasn’t able to spend too much time with you at the ball because of the demon brothers, but he always kept his eyes on you. How could he not when you looked so stunning?

He was never too far from you, so when you started crying, he noticed. And when you ran out of the castle, Simeon went into full protection mode. Someone had hurt you and he wouldn’t stand for it.

He followed you back to the House of Lamentation and gently knocked on the door, praying that you would open it and allow him inside.

He was thankful when his prayer was answered and you opened the door, revealing your broken state.

Simeon took small steps inside your room, making sure you were comfortable with him being there. But, when you didn’t show any signs of resistance, he closed the door and led you over to your bed.

You were such a kind and beautiful soul, he hated seeing you so upset. He couldn’t understand anyone ever wanting to hurt you like this.

“Can I help you in any way?” Simeon questioned, but you didn’t answer him. You couldn’t answer him because you didn’t know how he could. But, you also didn’t want him to leave yet and he could see that in your eyes. So, he tried a different question.

“Can you tell me about it?” Simeon asked and you agreed, telling him all about the world you had been teleported to that held so much hatred and anger towards you.

Your story broke Simeon’s heart. He couldn’t believe you had to endure all that pain. And he hated that a version of him had contributed to that pain.

He did tell you once that he believed you had actually come from the Celestial Realm because of how perfect you were. But he never said those words to anyone else and he never would. You were one of a kind.

Simeon used the back of his hand to gently brush away your tears and you looked into his eyes. He hesitated for a moment before pulling you into a hug.

He had so much love to give to you and he would make sure you got to feel all of it, starting now. “You’re the only one who will ever be my muse. The only one who I’ll ever feel so strongly for,” Simeon told you softly - intimately - meaning every word.

He knew that the demon who hurt you like this was in for it big time. He had managed to make both the Celestial Realm and the Devildom angry and Simeon was sure there was no corner that the demon could hide in where one of them wouldn’t find him.

Solomon could sense a strong surge of magic in the castle and he immediately went to find the source. That was one of the benefits of knowing magic like the back of your hand.

When his eyes finally landed on the source, he saw a demon gripping tightly onto your hands. It reminded him of the first time he saved you from your dance with Lucifer.

He began walking in your direction to once again save you but Mammon had beat him to the punch, pushing the demon away, so Solomon stopped in his tracks,

When he saw you crying, he was angry. He knew that demon had used some kind of magic on you and he wouldn’t stop until he found out what it was.

His mind went blank when you suddenly ran out of the castle. You had rushed past him, but he was pretty sure you didn’t notice with how upset you were.

Solomon went to the House of Lamentation to check on you and when you opened the door to your room, he immediately scanned your features. He double-checked that there were no signs of lasting magic on you and when he determined that you were safe for now, he asked you what had happened.

Solomon had so many questions as you explained what had happened to you. What was such a powerful demon doing at the Demon Lord’s Castle and why did he target you specifically?

He knew he would get those answers eventually. He would play a big part in helping track down the demon. All in due time. Right now, he was more worried about you.

“You have an immeasurable amount of magic potential, so please don’t let what that demon did to you make you doubt yourself,” Solomon told you, gently placing his hands on your shoulders.

He looked deeply into your eyes to stress the importance of his words and how sincere he was being with you when he said them.

He took another look at your features. Your cheeks were stained from your tears and your eyes were glossy and puffy, but Solomon still thought you looked so beautiful.

He gently pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug to reassure you of his feelings for you.

In all of his time alive, he had never met someone as incredible as you and he would never let you slip through his fingers.

“Besides, I would never abandon my adorable apprentice.”

Eventually, word had gotten out to the others about what had happened to you at the ball and everyone was upset about it. They hated that you had to go through something like that. And they hated that their alternate universe counterparts had played a part in hurting you.

Luke would make sure to always bring you his pastries when he made something new and he would tell you how much he valued your opinion over others’. He would also make sure to continue to give you hugs. You were the only human he would ever be this close with.

Thirteen thought the idea of another human having a soul as special as yours was laughable. Solomon’s had come close, sure, but there was still a difference. She made sure to make more time to spend with you. She wanted to grow closer to you.

Mephisto doesn’t react outwardly to news like this much. But, it did subtly affect him. He’ll make sure to compliment you on any work you do for the RAD newspaper and he’ll go out of his way to talk to you more at social gatherings.

Raphael wasn’t the best at striking up conversations, but when he found out that he played a part in your downfall, it made him question things. If he had hurt you like the others then that meant he played an important enough role in your life that you cared about his opinion. He’ll pay more attention to you from now on and he’ll do his best to try to get to you know like the others have.

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synthral · 3 months ago

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From the moment we’re born, we’re brainwashed. Fairy tales, rom-coms, religious institutions, family expectations. They all whisper the same lie, that life culminates in marriage, in a white dress, in a house with a husband and three kids. That this is love. That this is fulfillment. That this is natural. That this is what YOU should want and it is what you need.

But if we are being serious, there’s no inherent reason for a man and a woman to be together. Heterosexuality isn’t some divine truth, it’s a construct, a tool of control, designed to uphold a patriarchal system that thrives on women’s subjugation. It’s the invisible leash that keeps people trapped, convincing them that their desires, their futures, their very selves must conform to a life of servitude, serving a man, birthing more people to serve more men.

Marriage at its core, is coercion. Not just socially, but historically and legally. It was never about love. It was about ownership, about ensuring women remained dependent, about securing lineage and property for men. Even today in its supposedly “evolved” form, it still reeks of that same expectation of monogamy as a duty, of reproduction as a requirement, of sacrificing personal identity for the “sanctity” of a bond that has always served men more than women.

And what about children? The world doesn’t need more of them. Antinatalism exposes the truth that procreation is not a moral duty but an ethical dilemma. We don’t owe the world more people, in fact, with the state of things, climate collapse, economic instability, rising fascism, we owe it to ourselves not to participate in the cycle of suffering. But of course the nuclear family needs its sacrifices. The system needs fresh bodies to keep capitalism alive. So we are pressured, manipulated, gaslit into thinking that having children is an inevitability rather than a choice, one we were never meant to question. If you cannot comprehend the concept of anti natalism you have to rethink your life, even my hardcore Muslim mother can understand it.

What about gay marriage? Same-sex marriage is a hard-fought and deeply meaningful right for many, it still exists within the larger framework of marriage as an institution of control. The fight for marriage equality wasn’t just about the right to marry, it should have also been about questioning why marriage is necessary for basic rights like stability, protection and legal recognition. Homosexuals have always found ways to build love, family and community outside of traditional structures and we deserve systems that honor those connections without forcing us to conform to an outdated institution. Love doesn’t need state validation to be real and the fact that marriage remains the ultimate legitimization of commitment shows just how deeply ingrained this illusion is.

None of this is inevitable. None of this is natural. It’s all a structure, a narrative forced upon us from birth. And if we can be programmed to believe in the heterosexual fairy tale, then we can unlearn it, reject it and build something better. Because we deserve more than the life we were told to settle for.

We must dismantle the patriarchy, tear down the institutions that keep us bound with patriarchy and males, we must build something that was never meant to serve men, but to serve us.

#anti patriarchy #radfemblr #radical feminist safe #patriarchy #pro misandry #anti sex industry #antireligion #feminism #marriage is a scam #marriage #marriage is coercion #smash the patriarchy #dismantle the patriarchy

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are-we-art-yet · 2 months ago

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Is AWAY using it's own program or is this just a voluntary list of guidelines for people using programs like DALL-E? How does AWAY address the environmental concerns of how the companies making those AI programs conduct themselves (energy consumption, exploiting impoverished areas for cheap electricity, destruction of the environment to rapidly build and get the components for data centers etc.)? Are members of AWAY encouraged to contact their gov representatives about IP theft by AI apps?

What is AWAY and how does it work?

AWAY does not "use its own program" in the software sense—rather, we're a diverse collective of ~1000 members that each have their own varying workflows and approaches to art. While some members do use AI as one tool among many, most of the people in the server are actually traditional artists who don't use AI at all, yet are still interested in ethical approaches to new technologies.

Our code of ethics is a set of voluntary guidelines that members agree to follow upon joining. These emphasize ethical AI approaches, (preferably open-source models that can run locally), respecting artists who oppose AI by not training styles on their art, and refusing to use AI to undercut other artists or work for corporations that similarly exploit creative labor.

Environmental Impact in Context

It's important to place environmental concerns about AI in the context of our broader extractive, industrialized society, where there are virtually no "clean" solutions:

The water usage figures for AI data centers (200-740 million liters annually) represent roughly 0.00013% of total U.S. water usage. This is a small fraction compared to industrial agriculture or manufacturing—for example, golf course irrigation alone in the U.S. consumes approximately 2.08 billion gallons of water per day, or about 7.87 trillion liters annually. This makes AI's water usage about 0.01% of just golf course irrigation.

Looking into individual usage, the average American consumes about 26.8 kg of beef annually, which takes around 1,608 megajoules (MJ) of energy to produce. Making 10 ChatGPT queries daily for an entire year (3,650 queries) consumes just 38.1 MJ—about 42 times less energy than eating beef. In fact, a single quarter-pound beef patty takes 651 times more energy to produce than a single AI query.

Overall, power usage specific to AI represents just 4% of total data center power consumption, which itself is a small fraction of global energy usage. Current annual energy usage for data centers is roughly 9-15 TWh globally—comparable to producing a relatively small number of vehicles.

The consumer environmentalism narrative around technology often ignores how imperial exploitation pushes environmental costs onto the Global South. The rare earth minerals needed for computing hardware, the cheap labor for manufacturing, and the toxic waste from electronics disposal disproportionately burden developing nations, while the benefits flow largely to wealthy countries.

While this pattern isn't unique to AI, it is fundamental to our global economic structure. The focus on individual consumer choices (like whether or not one should use AI, for art or otherwise,) distracts from the much larger systemic issues of imperialism, extractive capitalism, and global inequality that drive environmental degradation at a massive scale.

They are not going to stop building the data centers, and they weren't going to even if AI never got invented.

Creative Tools and Environmental Impact

In actuality, all creative practices have some sort of environmental impact in an industrialized society:

Digital art software (such as Photoshop, Blender, etc) generally uses 60-300 watts per hour depending on your computer's specifications. This is typically more energy than dozens, if not hundreds, of AI image generations (maybe even thousands if you are using a particularly low-quality one).

Traditional art supplies rely on similar if not worse scales of resource extraction, chemical processing, and global supply chains, all of which come with their own environmental impact.

Paint production requires roughly thirteen gallons of water to manufacture one gallon of paint.

Many oil paints contain toxic heavy metals and solvents, which have the potential to contaminate ground water.

Synthetic brushes are made from petroleum-based plastics that take centuries to decompose.

That being said, the point of this section isn't to deflect criticism of AI by criticizing other art forms. Rather, it's important to recognize that we live in a society where virtually all artistic avenues have environmental costs. Focusing exclusively on the newest technologies while ignoring the environmental costs of pre-existing tools and practices doesn't help to solve any of the issues with our current or future waste.

The largest environmental problems come not from individual creative choices, but rather from industrial-scale systems, such as:

Industrial manufacturing (responsible for roughly 22% of global emissions)

Industrial agriculture (responsible for roughly 24% of global emissions)

Transportation and logistics networks (responsible for roughly 14% of global emissions)

Making changes on an individual scale, while meaningful on a personal level, can't address systemic issues without broader policy changes and overall restructuring of global economic systems.

Intellectual Property Considerations

AWAY doesn't encourage members to contact government representatives about "IP theft" for multiple reasons:

We acknowledge that copyright law overwhelmingly serves corporate interests rather than individual creators

Creating new "learning rights" or "style rights" would further empower large corporations while harming individual artists and fan creators

Many AWAY members live outside the United States, many of which having been directly damaged by the US, and thus understand that intellectual property regimes are often tools of imperial control that benefit wealthy nations

Instead, we emphasize respect for artists who are protective of their work and style. Our guidelines explicitly prohibit imitating the style of artists who have voiced their distaste for AI, working on an opt-in model that encourages traditional artists to give and subsequently revoke permissions if they see fit. This approach is about respect, not legal enforcement. We are not a pro-copyright group.

In Conclusion

AWAY aims to cultivate thoughtful, ethical engagement with new technologies, while also holding respect for creative communities outside of itself. As a collective, we recognize that real environmental solutions require addressing concepts such as imperial exploitation, extractive capitalism, and corporate power—not just focusing on individual consumer choices, which do little to change the current state of the world we live in.

When discussing environmental impacts, it's important to keep perspective on a relative scale, and to avoid ignoring major issues in favor of smaller ones. We promote balanced discussions based in concrete fact, with the belief that they can lead to meaningful solutions, rather than misplaced outrage that ultimately serves to maintain the status quo.

If this resonates with you, please feel free to join our discord. :)

Works Cited:

USGS Water Use Data: https://www.usgs.gov/mission-areas/water-resources/science/water-use-united-states

Golf Course Superintendents Association of America water usage report: https://www.gcsaa.org/resources/research/golf-course-environmental-profile

Equinix data center water sustainability report: https://www.equinix.com/resources/infopapers/corporate-sustainability-report

Environmental Working Group's Meat Eater's Guide (beef energy calculations): https://www.ewg.org/meateatersguide/

Hugging Face AI energy consumption study: https://huggingface.co/blog/carbon-footprint

International Energy Agency report on data centers: https://www.iea.org/reports/data-centres-and-data-transmission-networks

Goldman Sachs "Generational Growth" report on AI power demand: https://www.goldmansachs.com/intelligence/pages/gs-research/generational-growth-ai-data-centers-and-the-coming-us-power-surge/report.pdf

Artists Network's guide to eco-friendly art practices: https://www.artistsnetwork.com/art-business/how-to-be-an-eco-friendly-artist/

The Earth Chronicles' analysis of art materials: https://earthchronicles.org/artists-ironically-paint-nature-with-harmful-materials/

Natural Earth Paint's environmental impact report: https://naturalearthpaint.com/pages/environmental-impact

Our World in Data's global emissions by sector: https://ourworldindata.org/emissions-by-sector

"The High Cost of High Tech" report on electronics manufacturing: https://goodelectronics.org/the-high-cost-of-high-tech/

"Unearthing the Dirty Secrets of the Clean Energy Transition" (on rare earth mineral mining): https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2023/apr/18/clean-energy-dirty-mining-indigenous-communities-climate-crisis

Electronic Frontier Foundation's position paper on AI and copyright: https://www.eff.org/wp/ai-and-copyright

Creative Commons research on enabling better sharing: https://creativecommons.org/2023/04/24/ai-and-creativity/

#ai art #ai art discourse #discourse #ai discourse

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destinedfordiapers · 4 months ago

Text

The Bare Necessities

This caption is for @jsolano318, who wanted a blushy party all for herself. Hope you enjoy it! It’s also set in the Little’s Program™️ Anthology universe.

You watch the adults running here and there, ensuring everything was perfect for the party.

This was, after all, a very special occasion.

Hosting a party this time of year wasn’t unusual for your family.

By sheer happenstance, you, your mother, your older sister, your younger brother, and even your cousin all had birthdays within a few weeks of each other.

Tired of hosting back-to-back-to-back-to-back parties, your Mom decided to throw one big party for everyone. One day to go all out and celebrate all the birthdays at once.

It may have started out of convenience, but over the years, it morphed into one of your great family traditions. Everyone looked forward to it.

This was the first time the party was devoted to a single person in years.

You.

As you take in the decorations, your tummy squirms with nerves. Your mom added her usual elegant touches, but there was an unmistakable difference from the normal vibe.

“Emily, dear, would you mind checking Julia’s diaper? I could have sworn I saw her making some silly faces.”

“Sure thing, Mrs. Smith,” Emily answered your mom.

Two months ago, Emily was your girlfriend.

“Hiya Juju!” Emily coos, “Let’s check that diapie of yours. Did you make a stinky?”

Without waiting for you to answer, Emily pulls back the waistband of your diaper and inspects it.

Ever since you got back from the Little’s Program™️, she’s been your Nanny. Part of you was glad you still got to spend time with her.

The other part was mortified. She was now your authority figure, responsible for checking and changing your diapers and spoon-feeding you your meals.

“All clean, Mrs. Smith,” Emily says, “Just a little soggy!”

This was no ordinary birthday party. A better description would be an Unbirthday Party.

The guests, due to arrive at any minute, aren’t here to celebrate your 22nd birthday; they’re coming to celebrate your first of many birthdays as the regressed Little you now are.

The doorbell rings.

Another knot forms in your tummy. Your immediate family was the only people you’ve seen since the Little’s Program™️. And Emily, of course.

But this was different.

There’s no hiding your status—or your diaper—dressed like this. Emily convinced your Mom it was the perfect outfit to introduce the new you. Some old, some new.

What better way to show your transition to your second babyhood?

As happy as you were to wear one of your old, mature tops, it did absolutely nothing to cover your diaper. Everybody could see just how soggy you were.

You heard a cacophony of voices erupt from the living room. Voices you knew all too well. They weren’t your family—they were your best friends.

“She’s so excited to see everyone!” your Mom says excitedly, “She’s right outside waiting for you!”

Ugh, you didn’t expect this. At least, not today. But the voices were getting louder. There was no escape.

“AHHHHH!!!” your best friend Kate shouted the moment she saw you, “You look adorable, Jules!”

Kate, along with your other gaggle friends immediately surrounded you, cooing and complimenting your new look.

“H-hi…” you blubber, “I didn’t know you girls were coming…”

“Jules, we wouldn’t miss it for the world!” Mary answers.

“Yeah, don’t be silly, Jules! Just because you’re a cutie patootie Little now, doesn’t mean we can't be friends! I wasn’t your friend just because you were potty trained!”

You blush violently. It did mean a lot to hear—losing your friends was one of the things you feared most—but hearing the infantile tone of voice they used didn’t make it any less embarrassing.

“F-fank you!” you say, much more confidently than before, “Itth justh…justh embawassing to be theen wike this, that’s all.”

“You have nothing to be embarrassed about!” Lucy juts in, “Littles need diapers. You’re a Little. And besides, look how cute that diapie is! And it even matches your top!”

The doorbell rings again.

A stampede of aunts, uncles, and cousins storm outside, looking for the guest of honor.

Your friends step away, letting your family get a better look at you. A frenzy of voices ogling at you, to you, and about you fill the backyard. Before you can respond to any one person, another takes their place.

Even if you wanted to say something, you’d have trouble between all the cheek-pinching and hugs.

The last person to see you was your grandma. She’d never admit it to anyone else, but you were always her favorite grandchild.

“Well, hello, Miss Julia,” she says with a loving smile, “So good to see you again, dear.”

“Hi Gammy!” you say running over to her and giving her a hug.

You were so lost in the moment, you didn’t hear any of the “awwws” and “ohhs” at your droopy diaper swaying with each step.

Grandma pats your diaper playfully. “Karen, dear,” she says sternly to your mother, “Her diaper is soaked! I raised you better than to let Julia run around in a drenched diaper.”

Your mom blushes profusely. “These diapers aren’t the old ones you’re used to. That diaper can hold a few more wettings. Besides, these are designed to wick away the wetness so she won’t get any rashes.”

“If you say so, dear.” Grandma says disbelievingly, “I just want what’s best for Julia.”

She winks at you.

Clearly desperate to change to subject, your mom speaks to the party at large. “Now that everyone is here, why don’t we open presents? I’m sure Julia is dying to open them before I put her down for a nap!”

“M-Mommy!” you whimper, “Don’ needa nap today!”

Your Mom chuckles, “We’ll see about that, honey.”

“Julia, dear, come sit on Granny’s lap while you open your presents.”

“Okay, Gammy!” you say, waddling over to her. She lifts you up and sets you on her lap. The group forms a semi-circle around you.

“Let’s see, how about this one?” your Mom says, grabbing a present and looking at the tag, “It’s from Kate, Lucy, and Mary!”

Your friends all perk up, excited to see you open their present.

“We all pooled our money for this! We think you’re gonna love it!”

The package was lighter than you expected. But you tear into it anyway.

It’s a card and a few pieces of paper, the words making no sense to you. All you see are some pictures of pandas, elephants, and tigers.

“Th-thank you!” you say, trying not to make it obvious you got the Tiny Scholars Package™️ and can’t read anymore.”

“Let’s see,” Granny says, taking the paper from you, “Oh my girls, you shouldn’t have! This is too nice!”

“What is it, Gammy?” you whisper.

“It’s a one-year membership to the zoo! And look, it even comes with an all-exclusive meet-and-greet with the animals!”

“Yeah!” Kate shouts, “We know how much you love animals and the zoo, so we figured what better place for Littles than the zoo?”

“Plus,” Mary adds, “You get to meet your favorite animals! You get to go into the panda and penguin exhibit! And after, you can feed the elephants and parrots!”

“And it gets better, Jules! You even get to PLAY with the otters!”

“W-weally?!?” you squeal in excitement, “Pway wif otters?! FANK YOU!!!”

“Awww, you’re welcome, cutie!” Kate says.

“That was very nice of you girls!” your Mom says, “You’ll have to let us know when you have some free time from college and come with us!”

“We’d love to, Mrs. Smith!”

As your Mom looks for another gift, you feel a twang in your stomach.

No, no, no!

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” Grandma asks, feeling you squirm.

“How about this one from your cousins?”

Your Mom stops short, recognizing your face.

“Mom, I think—,” your Mom starts before a loud toot interrupts her.

“Oh, dear, I think someone needs to poopoo!” Grandma laughs.

Before you can even move—your mind begging you to run and hide—your face scrunches up. Your body leans forward as you grunt.

It was one thing to make a boom boom in the privacy of your crib. But this…this was much worse.

There you were, surrounded by family and friends—sitting on Gammy’s lap—making a stinky. You could feel all their eyes on you.

Watching you prove to be the infantile Little you are.

“Mgphfff,” you grunt, pushing a large mass into your diaper.

Your Grandma shifts you on her lap, trying to give your diaper space to accommodate your mess.

“Looks like we might have to postpone presents until after her nap,” your Mom tells everyone, “I’ll put her down after I change her diaper. There is champagne and rose in the fridge!”

“I’ll take care of Juju, Mrs. Smith!” Emily says, “That’s what a Nanny is for. You entertain your guests!”

“Mgphfff,” you grunt again, feeling your tummy start to relax.

You look up at the crowd of enthralled family and friends, covering your face.

“Does Julia have a binky? If she’s anything like she was as a baby, she’s gonna need her binky unless you want a fussy girl.”

“Right here,” Emily says, grabbing your binky from your diaper bag.

“Thanks, dear,” Grandma says, taking the binky and offering you the nipple.

You accept it, needing to calm your nerves and feeling your eyes tear up.

“Let me take her,” Emily says, reaching for you, “I’ll get her into a clean diapie and tuck her in for a nice nap.”

“B-bu!” you whine.

“Don’t worry, Jules,” Kate says, patting your diaper, “We’ll be right here waiting for you after your nap.”

You shove your face into Emily’s neck as she carries you to your nursery.

As much as you want a clean diaper, needing a nap at your own party makes you feel even smaller than your very public poopy.

But as Emily lifts your legs to clean you, your eyes grow heavier and heavier.

Maybe your Mom is right. You are pretty tired…

You don’t even remember Emily tucking you into your crib. Or hear all the coos as your Mom shows the crowd the baby monitor watching over you.

#diaper captions #cg/l

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mrsbarnesblog · 2 years ago

Text

wakanda

masterlist ko-fi ao3

Summary: You visit Bucky in Wakanda, and the hidden feelings are finally coming out.

Word count: 2.7k

Warnings: +18 ‼️ smut, sex in Bucky's hut, he has one arm, woman on top, unprotected sex, dirty talk, insecurity.

Author's note: posting my old fic, while I'm working on that tattoo artist x bookshop owner one👀 If any of you have smut ideas (with some kinks maybe), feel free to write your requests

You finally got permission to visit Bucky in Wakanda again since he was permanently living there to get rid of the Winter Soldier program and learn how to live a normal life again. Unfortunately, Princess Shuri and Ayo insisted that too much contact with other people might distract Bucky, so you weren’t allowed to see him.

The last time you were there with Steve and, even if you loved him to death, you couldn't deny the disappointment that you barely spent any time with Bucky alone. He was your best friend since you and Steve saved him in Bucharest, and you had the biggest crush on him for about the same amount of time.

At first, you had to visit Shuri and TChalla to talk through some moments, and that whole time you were bubbling with nerves and anticipation to finally see Bucky.

You jumped right into his arms as soon as you walked down the hill and saw him standing near the lake. He hugged you back, burying his face in your neck, and it was truly the moment that you never wanted to end. Bucky smelled like fresh air mixed with some kind of seasoning, not to mention that he looked fantastic. In traditional Wakandian clothes that were covering his missing arm too, a low bun on the back of his head with a few springs of hair around his face, and smooth and tanned skin from the work under the sun.

You two rushed to his hut with the food you had bought from a local cafe owned by a kind old man. And somewhere after that, when you were eating on the floor covered with many blankets and colorful pillows and talking about your lives, everything went downhill.

Bucky talked about his goats and the way he felt better living in Wakanda, while you unconsciously moved closer to him, needing to fill the void that formed while you couldn’t see him. Bucky just stopped in the middle of the sentence, as if he realized that you were too close, looking at him with your big, pretty eyes.

Food was forgotten. Somehow, you ended up sitting on Bucky’s lap while you were connected in the most passionate and hot kiss you had ever had. Your hands were tightly holding his face, and his right one had a strong grip on your waist to keep you close.

“Bucky…” You moaned in his mouth; your hips were grinding into his hardness, which was so obvious through the clothes. You both were so lost in the moment, sharing a desperate kiss. Bucky couldn’t get enough of your taste; he bit your lip, then licked it with his tongue to calm down the delicate skin.

It felt so natural, like it was meant to happen a long time ago, and now you could not keep all of your emotions inside.

Bucky couldn't help but groan under his breath when your hand slipped into his hair, completely destroying his low bun. Your nails on his scalp felt majestic, and his brain became fuzzy with your gentle yet confident touches. Bucky moved his hand from your waist to your thigh, squeezing the soft and warm skin a little bit lower than your shorts.

When he pulled away, you tried to follow his mouth, almost addicted to the taste and feeling of his lips on yours.

“Fuck, doll, that’s not how I imagined it.” His face became sad and almost apologetic, and you saw that the corners of his red lips moved downward in disappointment. “Not here, not with only one arm... Fuck, I can’t even touch you the way I want to.” His hand tightened on your hip, and you gave him a sad smile. Not that those things mattered to you, but your heart still hurt because Bucky felt that way.

“I don’t care about it. I just want you, Bucky, if you want me too, of course.” Your voice was soft and gentle, soothing his nerves a little bit.

“You can’t imagine how much I want it, but I can’t do much with one hand; fuck, it’s so bad, I’m so sorry...” Bucky’s eyes closed and his head fell lower, but you could still see a pink blush on his cheeks.

"I want it, Bucky; I want you, and your hand is not a problem, okay?" He deeply inhaled when your hands took his face and your lips were back on his. The kiss wasn’t so harsh and desperate; it was more deep and passionate, like you both tried to express your unsaid feelings. “Why don’t you just lay back on the pillows, and I’ll do everything?” You bit your lip, suddenly feeling slightly nervous, and put your right hand on his chest, pushing Bucky back on the pile of pillows behind him so he was sitting in a reclined position.

You saw the hesitation in his eyes, and you waited a few seconds, gently rubbing your fingers over his beard, so he could process your idea.

“Okay.”

You got closer, sitting more comfortably on top of him. One of your hands pressed onto the pillows near Bucky’s body, and the other one landed on his firm chest, playing with the red clothes that he was wearing. Bucky lifted his hand, gently grabbing your face and kissing you again. His soft lips and slow movements of his tongue inside your mouth made you moan.

“Can I take it off?” You mumbled, slightly pulling down the red material. More of his soft, tanned skin was shown, and you tried to hold yourself together and not overstep the line. Bucky’s pupils were dilated, almost completely hiding your favorite blues. He was closely watching your moving lips, as if he couldn’t get enough.

“Mhm, but— please, can we leave this on?” He pointed to his shoulder, covered in blue material.

“If you feel more comfortable that way, then we can. But we don’t have to, if you suggest it only because of me.” You started to untangle his clothes, still watching his face to notice any signs of discomfort.

“Just leave it on, okay?”

“Okay.” As you removed the clothes from his chest, leaving the cover on his left shoulder, allowing you to see his perfectly sculpted body, your lips left soft kisses on Bucky’s cheek, going down to his neck and to his abs. You stopped there, feeling how the body underneath you tensed, and his hand gripped the duvet so hard that his knuckles became white. “Bucky?”

“‘M okay, it’s just been so long for me. Didn’t get used to feeling that way. And I want you so bad, doll, I can’t even explain it.” He closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. You felt that his cock was painfully hard underneath you, and just thinking about touching it made you ten times wetter.

“You can have me, Bucky. Do you want me to take the rest of our clothes?” You moved your hips a little bit, getting an almost desperate whine from Bucky. He looked stunning with his slightly disheveled hair, flushed cheeks, red lips, and lustful and needy eyes. And he was completely yours, fuck.

“Yes, please.”

You placed a quick kiss on his lips before getting up. Bucky’s eyes were following your every move as you took off your shorts and t-shirt, staying in the cooling air only in your simple black underwear. But Bucky was looking at you like you were the most delicious and precious thing in the world, like he wanted to make love to you and completely destroy your body at the same time.

“Doll– fuck, everything else too, please.” He licked his lips, unconsciously moving his hips from the lack of attention. Your eyes slipped to his crotch, seeing how his cock was very visible through layers of clothes.

You just smiled at his desperation but still reached to the back to unclip your bra and then slide your panties down your legs. You didn’t waste any more time, going back to Bucky and finally completely taking off his clothes.

“Holy fuck…” Your mouth went completely dry when you pulled down his black boxers. You never found this part of a man’s body that attractive, but it was the prettiest dick you had ever seen. Thick and long, with a vein going around it and a slight curve towards his press. The shiny drop of pre-cum on the head made you instantly want to lick it, but the mumble of your name and calloused hand on the lower part of your back brought your attention back to Bucky.

“You’re going to kill me, doll. C’mere, please, I want– need to touch you. Need to kiss you.” Before you could even say something or move, his hand slipped under your ass and, without much effort, lifted you on top of him. “You’re so beautiful, sweetheart. I want to worship you and make you feel good; I’m so sorry that I can’t.”

“Bucky,” you said, laying down on his chest. “I promise that when you get your new arm, I’ll let you fuck me however and wherever you want to, okay? But for now, I want to take care of you.” The feeling of your hard nipples pressing against his firm chest sent shivers down your spine, and the hand on your back made you want to grind on Bucky like a bitch in heat. “Please, touch me, baby.”

“You shouldn’t say shit like this to me, doll. I won’t let you go until you can’t even fucking think straight. Shit– how are you so soft…” Bucky's hand was now exploring your body, gripping your ass, tracing your stomach, and reaching for your sensitive nipples. He never wanted to have both arms as much as he did at that moment—to touch every curve of your body and find everything that makes you feel good.

“Bucky!” Your hands pressed against his chest, and your head fell back with a moan when he pinched your nipple in between his fingers. He chuckled softly before sliding his hand down, right to your dripping core.

“Doll, look at you.” His eyes were glued to the place where his fingers traced your folds. “Is this all for me?”

“Y-yes, Bucky, please…” You almost cried at the feeling that he gave you. Even if it was a long time for him, Bucky definitely didn’t forget how to please a woman. Your legs desperately wanted to close from the stimulation on the clit, but since you were spread on top of him, you couldn’t do anything but whine and dig your nails into the hot skin under your hands. “Don’t tease me, just—fuck!”

“Taking my fingers so good, doll.” You knew that he was smiling because of your reaction as two thick digits slid inside of you, filling you so well but not enough at the same time. “You’re already ready for my cock, huh? Wanna feel how this pretty pussy stretches around me. C'mon, baby, help me.” Bucky moved his hips upward, and you felt how his dick was pressing on your ass.

“You have a dirty mouth, Barnes.” You laughed before reaching behind you, grabbing his cock, and lifting your body at the same time. You put the tip at your entrance, running his length through your folds and letting the head bump your clit as he collected your wetness, until you both couldn’t handle the teasing anymore. Bucky placed his hand on your ass, pressing on top and allowing you to slowly take him inside.

It was too much. The burn of him stretching you was slightly painful, but it made you feel so full, as if the two pieces of puzzles finally added up. You both moaned, your head fell back, and you tried to go slowly and adjust to his size.

Bucky’s hand tightened on your hip, probably leaving red marks. He breathed deeply to control his fast-beating heart. You felt so fucking good, all wet and tight for him, that it was hard not to move his hips into you. But it was obvious that you needed some time based on your tensed body and slightly opened mouth.

“Bucky…” Your eyes were flattering, and you were not able to completely focus on his face. You thought that you could just fuck him and take control, but you didn’t expect to be this cock drunk before either of you even made a move.

“So pretty lookin’ like this baby.”

“‘M so full…” You moaned, gripping Bucky’s hand and interlacing your fingers.

You found a comfortable position, holding yourself with one hand on Bucky’s chest. The first movement of your hips was shocking, sending goosebumps all over your body. You both loudly moaned when you moved up, until he almost slipped out of you, and then down, burying his cock deeply inside.

Bucky’s lower half slightly moved up when his non-existent left arm wanted to grab your hips, and you must’ve noticed the disappointment and anger written on his face because you leaned a little bit lower and freed your hand from his grip, moving it to his face.

“That’s okay, Buck, just relax, please? Don’t worry.” You cooed in the softest voice. Your hips started to slowly move at a stable pace.

“You’re so perfect, baby.” He mumbled, and you felt that his body started to thrust into yours, so his cock perfectly touched your g-spot.

It became more intense with every minute. The little hut was filled with the smell of sex and the sound of your moans, as well as skin slapping against skin. You were too desperate for each other, trying to reach your climaxes but not wanting this moment to end.

Bucky tried to touch you as much as possible; he wanted to make you feel good, give you satisfaction, and fulfill his own needs in your presence. He moved his hand from your ass to your stomach and boobs, then to your face, drawing you in for another hot and passionate kiss. He was all over you, hungry to get more and to remember every centimeter of your perfect body.

You two moved in perfect rhythm, meeting each other's movements.

“Please, Bucky– it’s so good, fu-uck, I’m gonna cum.” You cried out loud, feeling that your body was starting to go numb from your approaching orgasm.

“Such a good pussy, takin’ me so well. ‘M close too, baby; ride my cock, c’mon. Get what you need.” He slapped your ass, encouraging you to move faster. “So pretty wrapped around me. Can I cum inside you, hm? Will you let me feel you up?”

Your head quickly nodded while you didn’t break eye contact with the man in front of you. Bucky bit his lip, trying to control himself and get you to the finish first, but you looked so fucking good on top of him, with your boobs jumping up and down, that he knew he couldn’t hold himself any longer. So he brought his hand to the lower part of your stomach, pressing his thumb against your swollen clit.

That was the breaking point for you. You completely lost control over your body, barely being able to stay still when the waves of pleasure were breaking through you.

“Good girl. You can almost feel me in your stomach, yeah?” Bucky was feeling every thrust of his dick with the palm of his hand, and it felt fucking insane. “Fu-u-uck, you’re squeezing the shit out of me; ‘m not gonna last longer.” He moaned, losing his rhythm too, while you fell down on his chest, too overwhelmed and overstimulated.

You felt the last movement of his hips until he froze, moaning into your ear, and emptied himself deeply inside of your spasming pussy. You unconsciously continued to squeeze around his cock, getting every single drop, as if your body was greedy to get more of his load.

“I don’t feel m’ body…” You mumbled, already feeling sleepy, and wrapped your hands around Bucky’s body.

“Sleep, baby.” The soft material fell on your back, covering your naked bodies. You felt a light kiss on top of your head, and Bucky’s arm hugged your back, holding you closer to him.

You weren't sure, but right before you drifted to sleep, you heard something that weirdly sounded like “I love you.”

part 2

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x you #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x y/n #bucky barns fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #marvel smut #marvel fanfiction #marvel x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky smut

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