#Tumblr isn't out of my system yet. It just keeps coming back up.

[louroth]

Well, well, well. Would you look at what the cat dragged in. (it's me, Lou!)

The time is here, and oh man, do I have a lot to say! Ever since this post was posted on my personal tumblr, on the fifth of may, I have been working like a machine on all things OUROBOROS. I had originally planned for this to just be a progress report/ announcement on what I will be working on now that I am free of the shackles of work, but, somehow, I managed to finish all bullet points, and more. So, let's get into it!

First off, the title.  Ouroboros becomes all capitalized OUROBOROS. Idk. It's neat. Next!

Art. Whew. I didn't think I could draw like this anymore- drawing has been more of a struggle than writing has been, forever, always- it was something I really strived to become good at, for a time. And I gave up. Only to pick it up again when I started ouro, and ever since I released that pressure, something just clicked and I have been churning out art like never before. I don't know if this is a fluke, a stroke of luck or if all that hard work I once did slaving away with menial art practice… but I'm grateful nonetheless. (A note on official RO art: I lost my ipad pencil somewhere on the lawn, lmao. I haven't been able to get a new one yet, so there is a slight delay here.) I am hoping that I get to make some commissions too, in the near future. Visit the forum to see some works in progress (amongst them, Yor's RO portrait!)

Onto the hellscape that is coding! I have been growing more proficient with CSS and html with the help of the ones that run so that we can walk; I have studied and researched and tested and tinkered until my eyes crossed, finding my way into this medium with the incredible guidance of the giants of whose shoulders I stand on. I will talk about this in detail on a later date. So I think it's finally time to reveal that yes, I am working on a twine version of ouro. I will develop it in tandem with choicescript; the porting over from one to the other isn't the herculean task I thought it would be.

Why am I doing this? Because I need to have a save system. I am continuing to write the whole alpha draft in choicescript in hopes that CoG will announce the ability to have a native save/checkpoint system, but if that doesn’t happen, I can’t publish this story without one. Unfortunately, I am not willing to code in a savesystem in choicescript myself, because this will be a large game, with far too many variables for that to be sustainable. Trust me, no one is more disappointed by that fact than me. If it comes to the point that twine publishing will be what I do, I will set my sights on writing a smaller game for hosted games. 

Now the meatier announcements!

New Socials!

Tumblr: You are looking at it!  This is the new, exclusively OUROBOROS blog where I will share all announcements and sneak-peeks, and future updates. I worked together with the dev of the theme and made it oh, so pretty and functional. Please check out their portfolio here, if you are ever in the market for sprucing up your (desktop version) of tumblr. They were a pleasure to work with. Amongst other things, it has a gorgeous header (again, only if you visit on web and not mobile) where I am showcasing fanart and official art. Go check it out! This month, I am showcasing a truly breathtaking art from KAIRELART, and you can find the full art here, or follow the links in the “FEATURED ARTIST” tab in the top bar.

I hope you enjoy this new haven for OUROBOROS! I will be answering questions once a week (saturday) and ramping up as I adapt to this new schedule, more on that further below.

My old tumblr, honeypeabrain, will revert back to being my personal blog. Feel free to keep following me there, but know that it will be inundated with shitposts, crass humor and the occasional poetry dump and personal post. You’ve been warned!

Discord!

By the good graces, this was ROUGH to set up. Working with discord bots is akin to wrangling code, and it was well and truly, a war. But with the help of many, it is finally all done and ready for anyone to join and talk to me and others about OUROBOROS and anything else between heaven and earth. 

I will also greatly appreciate if any future bugs and feedback are submitted through here, so I can keep easier track of it. Come join us! (18+ ONLY.)

Patreon & Ko-Fi

Yep! Ko-fi is just a place to toss me a coin if you wish to help me towards the goal of new PC parts to make testing easier, or to just show appreciation for those that have it to spare. Patreon however, already has a multitude of posts and will be a hub for exclusive NSFW sidestories that you get to vote on, loredives and extensive sneak peeks, Q&A’s, polls and weekly dev logs. 

Right now, there are only two tiers, but I expect it to grow as my story does. I have many plans, but I am going at a steady pace. 

Amongst tiered content, there is a (free) NSFW story with female MC and Idren to read there right now, if you want to check it out! I am mgoing to post it on tumblr and the adult thread here over the weekend.

NOTE: I stupidly didn't realize that patreon had a review process after I pressed launch, which I did just a few minutes ago. Sigh. I am going to post the short on tumblr and the adult forum thread as soon as I get to it.

It is not mandatory by any means, so if you do choose to support me, you have my eternal gratitude as these places will be the sole source of income for me.

Onto writing:

The best news out of this whole bunch is that I have worked so hard on editing and writing, that in the past month I have all but finished a two chapter update! I have a chunk of about 5-6 thousand words left to write, and I am going to buckle down over the weekend to see it through. I wanted to have it done so badly for today, but I lost three days of writing time last week due to still being weighed down with work. I hope it isn’t too disappointing to have to wait until monday for the demo update! I am going to post a link to an as-I-write updated demo on Patreon and Discord, if you want to see the ugly face of raw wip drafts. Otherwise I will post the demo update here on Monday with a comprehensive post!

And now!  the biggest news is… from now on, I am writing full time!

This is what I have been tossing and turning about every night ever since Easter. It started as a silly idea while talking to some friends and family about how I was looking for a change in career. And then, little by little, that idea whittled down to a plan, carefully carved by my partner and his whispers of a happy future, a finished dream project, and something to be proud of until the day I wither and die. 

Somewhere between then and now, I grasped a tiny sliver of bravery and held on for dear life. 

I quit my job as a teacher, and instead of accepting a cushy office job, I started behaving as if OUROBOROS and writing was my work (for all the moments I could afford). I have researched and tried different methods from week to week, and although I was still tired from work, I felt like I was onto something that could build into a sustainable future. 

I have no doubts that this journey will be bumpy and long, but sometimes all it takes is to take that first step, and do it with determination. It might all crash and burn and fail in a spectacular way, or with a whimper, but then I will know that I have tried. I will know that I gave myself the chance to be who I want to be, work on what means so much to me. 

And that’s it. I think the hardest part of formulating this post (I’ve written about 50 versions of it!) is getting to the point; the kernel of what makes it so special to me. So, in my heart of hearts, what I'm trying to tell you is that I'm gonna give it my all- and while I know the road to having a sustainable career in writing is rough and ever winding, I do know for sure that I am ready for a challenge, to pour my heart and soul into it until the day I rush out of the office screaming IT IS DONE. IT IS DOOOOONE!!! 

If you decide to join me, I will treasure your company like a lantern in the dark. Hand in lovable hand, let’s fucking go.

[mr-echo-irl]

Echos in the Wind

Echo shuffled as he sat on the bench in Harumi's work shop, wires going into his head. He felt weird sitting there as she typed away.

"All the that alcohol hasn't affected your system too much, "She turned back to face him, "Alright, well I was here I checked to make sure none of those stupid ninja didn't upload any viruses on you, they didn't, surprisingly. I still think it'd be for the best to cut you off from them though."

"I want to be able to update my Tumblr, I can't do that if I'm offline," he signed it return. Part of him always wanted to be able to speak to the ninja. He didn't know why, all they did was lie to him. He felt the same way when his with them, expect it was about Harumi. Maybe that's why he hung around her base so long. He started to sign he was sorry again, but Harumi grabbed his hands.

"I get your sorry, but your words are meaningless. Show your sorry by staying with me." She smiled at him fondly. He loved his friend.

Echo nodded in respones and unplugged all the wires from his head. He didn't like the idea of Harumi being able to poke around in there anymore. He looked up at her again, and started signing, "You asked the face thief- sorry, Nadhakan about being able to rewrite my code with a wish, why?"

She sighed, "Echo, I was just really worried about you, I just wanted you to come home. I care a lot about you, that's all." she had a soft tone, trying to show that she really meant it, but Echo didn't buy it. He could see through her lies now.

"You call threatening to rewrite who I am as a living being, caring?" he signed in return. He didn't mean for it to come off as sassy as it did, but he really didn't mind.

"Echo. I just wanted you back." her tone was fully annoyance at his question.

"So you threaten to kill me?!" his hands were quick moving as he signed.

"I was trying to scare you into returning!"

"Is that how you treat all your friends?! Keep them through fear?!"

She glared at him, "You know that isn't true."

He sclowed, "Do I? All you ever seem to do is lie! At least the ninja told me when they did! You say you hate them but yet you don't shut up about Nya!"

"Echo. Stop." Anger started to fill her voice. He could tell she didn't like him rebling agaist her, but all that did was make him want to fight more.

"Or what? You'll rewrite my code? Transform me into the perfect puppet?"

"You're not a puppet Echo!"

If he had a voice box, an angry grunt would exist his mouth, "Then why do your treat me like one?! You know what Harumi, I'm done! I shouldn't have come back! We're not friends anymore." he went to grab his helmet from the table but Harumi grabbed it first.

"I didn't rebuild you so you can repeativly betray me Mr E!" she clutched the helmet tightly.

"Give me the helmet," he signed.

"Aw, scared of showing your face still? Don't want to look like Zane?!" she sneered. It hit Echo how differently she was acting now that he wasn't obeying her. That fond smile had faded. He felt a moment of a clarity, his senses, all 6, seemed to kick in at that moment.

"You really are a two face, aren't you?" his fingers potryed a much gentler tone. He turned and walked out of the room, then the base.

[protectingtulpas]

Hey there! Apologies if the start of this ask sounds familiar. We're not comfortable with using Tumblr yet, and might have accidentally sent an incomplete ask.

Anyways, you seem pretty cool! Asking for some advice...

So, back in September, I found out about tulpamancy and decided to try my hand at this stuff. And it worked, so now I have an amazing bestie who i'll be calling Star (they/them) for privacy, and we're working on getting them to the front.

And so here comes my main conundrum. After a while of me and Star just hanging around, I notice another presence in the head. I tried ignoring it for a bit, but eventually I tried calling out to them and they replied. After a little bit of talking, we figured out that they were called Hero (they/them), and that i'd accidentally made them by thinking about having another "brain friend", as we like to call ourselves.

Any advice for avoiding this kind of thing happening? As much as I love Hero and Star, it would get very full very quickly if this kind of accidental creation thingy keeps happening. And to clarify, i'm not mad at this "incident". We've all worked it out pretty quickly, and nobody is to blame. Sorry for the wall of text ask haha, but this is something we're curious about!

Hey! You came to the right place, cuz this is something we sort of experienced ourselves! It was super weird at first, and it took a while to convince my host that the newbie was actually there. So basically, this is a combination of two things- for one, roughly a third of tulpas (that're aware they're tulpas, ahdhsf I'll find the statistic link later) are unintentional, which means you go through the process of tulpa creation without actually realizing you're doing it. (This is kinda common in writers!) So it's definitely not an unheard of thing! The second part is that once you've made your first tulpa, you've already gone through a lot of the initial mental training it takes to make the jump to being polyconscious. It's a *lot* easier to make a second tulpa than the first. You spent so long thinking about them and wanting them around that they ended up here!

RE: getting a lot of people eventually, we don't exactly have a lotta control over that cuz we're also disordered, but we definitely have some tips if you're not comfortable expanding your system that shhoouuulldd work better if you don't have big dissociation and memory issues.

One, try to focus on what you have and avoid daydreaming about having new headmates. Try not to let yourself have consistent "characters" you imagine in situations, or what it might be like to have x fictive, or whatever- there's a saying that goes something like, "people are gonna think about a red truck if you tell em not to think about a red truck, but if you tell em to think about a purple bear instead of a red truck they're gonna have more success" or something like that. Focus on doing other things with the headmates you have instead.

Two, and this helps more with fictives for us, but if you feel a certain identity or set of emotions or perspectives or whatever is starting to get a bit intense and might gain autonomy, try associating those feelings or identity with yourself or another (consenting) headmate in the system as much as possible. Like oh that's so relatable or this character is so me, etc etc. Connect em with an identity that already exists if u can. Like for example, my host's trying to avoid a fictive coming from their past life lately by confronting and associating themselves with it as much as possible. That way the separation is eliminated before it can really take hold.

Three, if you feel the need to still ""do tulpamancy"" that isn't just living regular life with ur tulpas, try expanding your range of skills! Imposition is an awesome skill with practice, as well as things like headspace immersion, holding onto front as a non-host for a long time, and more. There're tons more heights you can reach!

Good luck, anon!

[empty-pizza]

thoughts on gideon the ninth chapter thirty-five

lmao that's rough gideon. i'd feel like shit if i did that to someone too, even if it's not actually a bad thing to do and not your fault.

okay, it was dulcinea who killed people. yeah, that's better than ianthe. sorry for jumping the gun and blaming ianthe, last chapter. i did realize she wasn't implying it was her who did the killing midway through, though.

i maintain that this still isn't wholly surprising — the sick one, the one you'd never suspect, did it? wow, exactly what i'd expect — and making it harrow could have been a really bold and interesting move, but it works.

ohhh, it wasn't dulcinea septimus. okay, i see. not following why abigail's interest in history made her a threat, but we can keep going. the details of who she is (someone from the same family) are a bit hard to follow, but okay — she kept the corpse around and burned it with protesilaus's.

okay. this person wanted to get the emperor to come back to the system and fuck with him. who are the Hands? and now she wants to get rid of the houses while he waits, and then do... something to him?

oh this is a lyctor, huh. interesting.

oh and palamedes is already killing her

did palamedes just blow himself up?

that's a shame. he was my favorite character.

damn she really did vomit up a lung.

Cytherea the First, huh. soon to be Cytherea the dead, I hope.

Okay. I'd appreciate if any of the people who have been commenting on my post could tell me the foreshadowing for Dulcinea being the murderer, and Dulcinea not being Dulcinea. By the way, I appreciate all of your comments a ton, even though I haven't been replying (because apparently tumblr doesn't let you reply with your sideblog and using my main while mentioning I'm OP just kinda seemed like a hassle).

From a mystery perspective, I don't love this answer. I want two things for a mystery answer: One, to feel like it ties together so many pieces of evidence and foreshadowing that I realize I should have realized it all along and feel dumb. Two, ideally, for it to expand my perception of what is even possible as answer, which is pretty rare. Something like Knives Out, that treats the entire role of culprit in a unique way.

This is why I got really hyped up for the Harrow theory; I feel like her plot role was one you'd never expect to be the culprit and thus it'd be mindblowing if it was. I think it being not-Dulcinea is considerably more... regular, as a thing for a mystery story to do. I mean, I kind of called it early on that it could very well be her, since it would cause the most emotional pain for Gideon. I don't get credit for being right, because when it came time for me to put my money where my mouth is, I didn't say it was her. But like I said earlier, the sick, unassuming character? Kind of becomes just plain old assuming.

But that's just my preferences and personal expectations being projected onto a book that didn't necessarily need to conform to my ideas, and it works narratively nonetheless. I mean, clearly it does. And I hope that knowing what the foreshadowing is will enhance my appreciation. Plus, I don't even know what she did to kill Jeannemary and Isaac yet! Hope that's interesting.

From an entirely different perspective, though, this reveal is awesome. I love stories that start as one thing, only to unfold into something much bigger and more complex. That's something I like even more than the answer to the mystery being something I never would have considered — when the direction of the plot itself is like that. This started as a story about a bunch of people solving puzzles in a facility, but Dulcinea actually being Cytherea, a Lyctor, suddenly thrusts this story into something WAY bigger. There are so many questions I don't even understand well enough to ask, about the Houses, the history here, the emperor, the hands, the Lyctors, everything that's going on! This is a huge game that's being played and I am seriously looking forward to all the insane things I'd never expect that the next book will likely do. The possibilities are genuinely endless in my mind, of what this story will even be about, and that's a feeling I love. That, more than anything else, is the best thing you could take in inspiration from Homestuck and Umineko.

I'll hopefully finish the book tomorrow, but I seriously need to sleep now.

[cauldronoflove]

i thought about also sending you multiples of a number, but decided against it in the pursuit of more targeted knowledge (and also forcing you to answer 40). So 1, 7, 14, 21, 28, 36, 40

happy to oblige a coordinated attack but i did stare out the window for 5 minutes of a car ride swirling 40 around you know i love a run-on sentence 😭

1. which of your fics would you keep the basic plot of but rewrite entirely?

probably any of my early x-files stuff, a lot of fun ideas with questionable at best execution!

7. your favorite ao3 tag?

"drinking & talking" i use it a truly stupid amount for how oddly vague-yet-specific it is because i love giving people drinks and making them talk about their problems <3

14. write and share the first sentence of a new fic. just that.

She cuts a sleek, if slightly-miffed frame in the cast of Catherine's flashlight, a long-fingered hand thrown up in front of her eyes that spiders shadows on the SUV behind.

(i've been watching the og csi from the beginning recently and thinking about women, as is my wont.)

21. can you accurately predict how long your fics are going to be? if you can, what's your secret?

absolutely not 😭 with fic i more or less write as it comes to me and then send it through extended editing that further beefs it up or pares it down (sometimes both) so it's like a fun little surprise every time (said through gritted teeth)

28. any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing?

my version of 2014 tumblr was 2014 pinterest where i took in a lot of shitty writing advice so like, don't do that. but in all seriousness two things i live by are change the background color of your document from white to some kind of muted or pale color, it does indeed help with headaches, and if you're stuck and can't figure out where to go the problem more than likely isn't actually what comes next but something you wrote 3 to 5 lines back.

36. how do you come up with fic titles? what's the one you're most proud of?

45% of the time it's song lyrics that i meticulously comb for, and the other 55% is a mash of words meant to convey an ultra specific image that's representative of the fic in my mind's filing system. i think i'd say i'm most proud of smudged math on the back of a receipt (txf, a post-abduction arc look at scully & her estranged brother charlie) or send a postcard from down the street (west wing, complicated post-canon relationships that maybe aren't that complicated after all)

40. write a 9 word fic.

Wayne gets the call for bail just after eleven.

[georgespaniel]

this is me speaking frankly about my thoughts on all of this because i've been really struggling over the past 2 days because of the matty shit and it hurts. i will admit i feel conflicted over this which i hate and if you feel similar or want to tell me to shut the fuck up feel free but i think talking about it and getting out my system will help. this is rambly, incoherent, kinda personal and quite long so feel free to ignore but i just want it out there.

i think i am very parasocial with matty and that makes me want to excuse him far more than i should, and i'm willing to admit that is a flaw. i want to be in denial and tell myself that this is all just a big bit and he's not really like that but how the fuck am i supposed to know that? i keep telling myself that he is better than this and he doesn't actually believe any of this but realistically i know nothing about this man other than what he shows us, and what he showed on that podcast was really shitty. i can't keep excusing his shitty behaviour, before i just thought of him as a loveable asshole but he's turning more and more into just a straight up asshole.

i feel like people on both sides of this debate are being way too loud because it's a lot more nuanced than either 'he has committed every -ism under the sun and is a terrible bigot' or 'he's done nothing wrong lol you're just a fake fan that's his humour' and i hate that no one can just have a conversation about this. i've seen and spoken to a few people on anon about it and it's been much nicer so i appreciate this tumblr community for being so nice even though this blog has only existed for like a week lmao.

i have loved matty since 2015 and my love was really reignited back in November and it's made these past few months so good for me, i saw them live and made 15 year old me's dream come true and i think i was kinda waiting for it to all go to shit so i feel like i shouldn't be surprised but i still am.

it hurts that a man who has been so vocal about supporting women and condemning bigotry and toxic masculinity can't stop himself from participating in such unnecessary low blow humour for some cool points. like i don't really give a shit if it's satire and all a big bit, the words are still harmful and they still fucking hurt.

like it's so frustrating because in my head i want to believe he is better than this!!! he has been so vocal in the past and that goddamn brit award speech he made just doesn't seem like the same person who was in that interview. but once again how am i supposed to know that. maybe he's an absolute prick behind closed doors.

i don't feel like what was done was egregious but he was clearly happily complicit in it and thats what makes me so uncomfortable. it's such shitty punch down humour that is completely unnecessary, like yeah its a joke or whatever but its such a shit joke that is only funny because its something they know will never happen to them. even if the hosts are minorities themselves it doesn't give them the right to make such shitty racist remarks and especially for privileged white boy matty to be joining in with them.

i think its poe's law that goes something like 'if your attempt at satire is indistinguishable from the person you are mocking you are no better than them'. like even if he isn't a bigot he sure is fucking sounding like one and it pisses me off. and i have seen people who definitely are bigots laughing at this shit and feeling validated by it. if people who genuinely believe that shit are laughing and agreeing with you then you need to take a step back and reevaluate what you are saying.

he has no ability to understand when to shut his mouth and understand that his opinion isn't fucking needed. oh great yet another rich privileged white man's opinions, exactly what the world fucking needs.

i feel like he could maybe redeem himself is he showed even an ounce of self reflection and realisation that he has genuinely hurt people, if he actually apologised or fucking did anything to acknowledge the shitty stuff he has done, but he never does!!!! he never does because he can get away with it because people keep letting him get away with it.

and yet despite all that a small part of me still wants to love him and its been tearing me apart. i considered myself to have very strong morals and this goes against so many of them. i'm not sure if it's the parasocial attachment or the comfort he has brought me over the years but i really don't want to lose that, but that sacrifices my own morals to do that (am i being too sensitive, am i too morally black and white, is what i am feeling valid, am i a bad person for thinking this???)

i hate the fact that every time i try to listen to their music or i see the videos that used to make me feel so happy i just feel sick. i want to feel comforted and happy like i used to but now i just think about him and feel upset, i don't want him to be that person i so desperately don't but i don't know anymore and i don't know what to do.

i hate the fact that i can't form my own opinions and i am so influenced by what other people say, i am so desperate for someone to valdiate me but two people have told me it's okay and i still feel sick. i want someone to tell me how to feel about this but when they do i can't accept it. i love him and i hate him so much and those feelings can't get on with each other. it just really really fucking sucks.

[cozza-frenzy]

For some reason tumblr isn't letting us reply to this ask "properly", so fuck it, text post time. Hope you see this, anon. Oh boy. Well, we often end up telling this story because a lot of systems tell us they've never seen anything like it before, but if you guys do have something similar you have my sympathy. Dealing with it wasn't easy, it wasn't fun, and we were very lucky that someone (Vimes) showed up to stop it from causing further harm. This story may be disturbing; it also talks about events in our inner world. For any non-systems reading this, the Inner World is a visual reference tool that out system gives us in order to better understand the mood and mental state of parts. It gives us unique appearances "in our head", and gives us ways to work through our trauma by creating memories of places and each other within it. This isn't a hallucination or a delusion; it's our subconscious adapting to dissociative parts that act like separate people, and sometimes it can do just as much harm as good. (Continued under the cut)

So here's the thing - when you have DID/OSDD (at this point we're not sure which one) and your brain has been suppressing almost everything about this for a long time, often it has a lot of catching up to do. Alters can start to emerge very quickly, either coming out of dormancy or spontaneously forming from specific types of trauma. What happened in our case, though, was every single trauma "category" that hadn't formed an alter yet got stuck together. And this didn't form one alter with a lot of trauma; instead it formed a kind of huge "pseudo-alter", one that manifested not with an in-system body, but as an entire place within our inner world. That was The Red Forest. Initially, we thought it was just another place. A forest full of birch trees with bright red leaves, with a thick carpet of red leaves covering the floor - it was completely silent, and even the sounds of footsteps and voices sounded odd, like something was stopping the sound from traveling. Needless to say, it gave us all the creeps. But then we saw someone new come out of the Red Forest - and we figured okay, sure, I guess this is how our brain handles this now. Alters have to come from somewhere, so this is where alters come from. I even went in there once myself, riding on the back of Rakugaki (now a part of Anarchy) because I could sense there was someone in there who was lost, and that was how we found Holiday. Oh boy, was that a mistake. Turned out The Red Forest didn't just feel hostile; it was hostile, in the sense that a wild animal whose territory you just invaded is hostile. All that unresolved trauma hadn't formed something intelligent; it'd formed a huge pile of hurt, anger, fear and pain, that was now aware of where the pieces that kept breaking off it kept going. Within a few days we started to hear horrible noises in the front, like tearing metal or animals being slaughtered, and then the entire thing - the entire Red Forest in itself - attempted to front. It over-wrote our fronting room and dropped all of us right in the middle of it, only withdrawing when it realized it couldn't actually control the body in the state it was in. But nonetheless it took out its rage on Chaos; unlucky enough to get trapped inside of it, it ended up being injured in the Inner World, something that can't normally happen unless someone really wants someone else to be hurt. The first thing it said upon finally getting out - after me and Rakugaki went in there again and spent three real-world hours trying to find it - was "don't go in there, it hates us". We're only lucky that the very next alter I spotted emerging from the forest - from a safe distance, on our in-system "cameras" - was Vimes. He's a specific type of gatekeeper we call a Jailer, who can lock down areas of the Inner World, and he was able to keep the Red Forest contained where it was. He was able stop it from fronting (though it certainly didn't stop trying) and was able to go in there with his lantern - back then, our Inner World's only representation of hope - and lead other alters to join the rest of us. We put a contingency plan ("Operation Kaiju") in place in case it ever escaped containment. But even at its worst we only ever enacted the first half of that; I realized it could be reasoned with, and attempted basic communication through Vimes' barrier. It only ever said one thing with words, and it was "thank you". After the emergence of Jenova, The Red Forest "died" on July 31st 2023, and no longer exists in our system. Our remaining alters found their way to us of their own accord. Chaos still has a special bond with Vimes, and has made him part of its ever-growing adopted family. And we've marked the date on our calendar as our system's Collective Birthday, because it marked the beginning of the end of our system discovery. Whatever you have in your system, anon, I hope our story inspires yours to handle it however you can. Trust in each other, put your unique abilities and skills to good use, and work together. It's the only way to move forward. - Terry, Martin & Leaf

[captainaikus]

that's a relief! the fact that you remember your anons makes me feel very warm and fuzzy 😭 happy that you think of me when you listen to chase atlantic 🫶 speaking of kaiser... that man was a literal menace during the previous bllk chapters omg i fucking hate him (holy shit i think i fell for him deeper 😞 my taste in personified red flags is extremely questionable) nonetheless, i'm looking forward to your next works!

really glad you've been faring well and your ao3 move is doing good. i get your point and i agree w/ it. tumblr's system is shit. some authors get like 700+ likes from posting a twt p0rn link?? i have nothing against them, if that's what some people prefer then so be it. but seeing the small authors who pump out actual high-quality content and not getting enough appreciation for it is saddening. in the first place i downloaded tumblr solely for the purpose of reading fanfics and poetry-related stuff. now all i see are twt p0rn links flooding my feed and that never ever fails to tick me off (come on man i just want to read some fics with good plots 😞). the main reason i haven't deleted this app yet is because of some authors i follow (including you), who actually work their asses off for their readers. that's something i highly appreciate. i'll admit—ao3 is better when it comes to giving smaller authors justice. at least you won't have pussyass anons coming after you in the most passive-aggressive way possible for no reason :D

i wish you the best of luck! ❤️

– 🌷

Apologies for responding to this late; I really like uncomfortable by chase atlantic and heaven and back is giving me some ideas... gonna start working on that when i'm done with this wip - Honey. I love like Aiku, he is literally the biggest red flag you can find in bllk (smh Idek why I fell for him - literally saw him and said yes.) I love him sm After reading his panels and guessing everything right about him, we're soulamtes my soulmate is actually Sae though... but we don't walk about that I'm waiting for the next chapter to drop so that i can see the loml 😭 Rant ahead so feel free to skip - Exactly the point. Like here's the thing about the author community on tumblr. I've usually stuck to my own blog cause of it - when you get buddy with some authors; it comes with its own set of problems cause when they get dragged into some kind of a discourse, everyone they've spoken to get dragged into it as well, even readers come up with some really crazy theories regarding content, similarities etc etc. It's one of the reasons that i'm not a very author to author interactive blog with just dropping in here and there. Not to mention that authors tend to stick to their own online circle and getting into one isn't as easy as it looks? They will judge you by the amount you have reblogged which shouldn't be the case tbh. And i don't reblog other author's works since i stopped reading things 2 years ago here and ever since I started writing ff i only checked the tags for seeing if my work turned up or not. Rather than preferring an author and author relationship, i prefer having one with my readers since they are the ones to hype my works up and send me good feedback. I feel really bad for small time authors on this platform cause authors who have dominated one fandom, entirely; are getting into smaller fandoms - and with their huge followings, they tend to take most of the space and fame compared to small time authors who have some really good quality content. Like was taking one or even two fandom/s not enough? But then its always the same story of "what's wrong with being a multi-fandom blog?" or "We're creating free/ quality content so what's the problem?" The discourse and the toxicity here is actually never ending, it's something that I've been noticing for four years now... and it was high time that i moved to ao3 cause here both authors and readers are toxic, cause authors are trying to keep readers down sometimes and readers... some of the them report your work even if it takes hours to create it. Not to mention that it even escalates to getting death threats which is another level of extremism cause of the lack of sensitivity that there's an actual breathing live person on the other side of the screen. Coming to the links that people attach to their posts and decide to post them, half the time I just think about the 15k notes from giving a visual from twitter that's not even their own content to begin with. Like yes, there are people who like erotica on the internet but in fandoms, its more of the literary work compared to a visual unless its drawn. and it makes me think how easy it was to make that and here you have some of us just... slogging it out or working hard on every line since it's more handmade compared to this. and what's weird is that authors seem to not pick up that queue and continue doing it. My opinion might seem harsh but it is what it is.

[justsomeoneunordinary]

Kakashi for this one? 👀

https ://at .tumblr .com /justsomeoneunordinary/send-me-a-character-and-ill-answer-these/vjolyf8nlo70

1: sexuality headcanon

that man is SO aroace, hands down. that doesn't even need an explanation, just look at him!

unless he's being railed by gai, in which case he isn't quite so ace anymore uwu

2: otp

kakagai kakagai kakagai kakagai kaKAGAI KAKAGAI-

3: brotp

in my heart, he and tenzou are brothers. he totally behaves like an older brother around him, esp when he's being a little shit lol, i just love their relationship so much

4: notp

never liked kakairu and never will. also used to be open for obikaka but i cannot see it anymore tbh. makes me sick nowadays. (but the naruto fandom def has a problem with tagging their ships properly bc i keep seeing so many notps all the time argh) honestly, i don't rlly ship kks with anyone except with gai. i find him very unshippable idk....

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

he's a biter. not the fanon hatake = wolves hc kinda biting bc i hate that hc (kishi didn't give us much but he gave us enough to conclude that hatake = farmers, not wolves or nomads ffs do ppl not at least google the names before they come up with hc's or what), but the as a child he used to bite anyone kinda thing, so his father gave him a mask and kks just never stopped wearing it. he still bites as soon as it comes off

6: favorite line from this character

i am terrible at rmbr'ing lines but when he meets team 7 and his reaction is "my first impression of you is... i hate you all" is the fucking funniest shit to me. first, he lets those 12yo kiddos wait for hours and then has the gall to tell them he hates them lmfao king shit i love him (also, what a lying liar. they're his kiddos and he loves them)

7: one way in which I relate to this character

slouch king <3 i too, can't walk or sit with my back straight. also, reading porn in public. relatable

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

lmao in shippuuden where he had to read a section out loud of his porn book and the line was literally just "i love you" but he practically died trying to say it, face red, sweat running down, stuttering and all that jazz acbsjfhsjfhdjfbajfb IT'S LITERALLY JUST I LOVE YOU, IT'S NOT EVEN SMTH SMUTTY FFS KKS YOU'RE A GROWN MAN!!! also the sheer amount of times he collapses bc of chakra exhaustion like pls king that's not normal, no one else pushes their chakra to the limit you fucking drama queen. i'll never forget that one time sakura sees him at ichiraku's and goes "oh, not in the hospital for once? that's new" lmfaooooo get recc'd. ALSO kks of the sharingan has copied over a thousand jutsu AND YET WE ONLY EVER SEE HIM USE CHIDORI!! BRUH WHERE ARE THOSE 1000 JUTSU, WHERE???!!! how abt you stop using that sharingan of yours that drains you so much of chakra just to copy jutsu that you then don't even intend to use, hmmmmm??? lmao he's a genuis but he's so dumb

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

neither? all village ninja's are basically the military of a fascist state, and all deserted ninjas are killers without actual permission to kill, so given the universe everyone is problematic. you could say bc he's one of the good guys he's the former but he's also such a loyal bootlicker (i love him but god kks the way he doesn't question the system at all even after everything that happened to him is so... acbjshdjsfh) so you could say he's problematic in that sense??? you can't rlly put any nart character into either of this category tbh

[weirdsociology-writes]

Five Runs - Run 3: The Other Throne Room

THIS BLOG IS DEFUNCT DUE TO A GLITCH IN TUMBLR'S SYSTEM. PLEASE FOLLOW @weird-writes INSTEAD FOR UPDATES.

Title: Five Runs - Run 3: The Other Throne Room (3.2k)

Pairing: Din Djarin x Female Reader

His voice isn't breaking so much as shutting down, his vocal cords unable to keep up as his words tumble over one another. You catch another fragment that contains you and something that might be did this but it's nothing as coherent as a sentence, and then he gives up all together and you're halfway launched into an open cabinet as he slams into you, wrapping his arms around you in a bruisingly tight hug that seems to surprise him at least as much as it does you.

Description: A series of drabbles all sharing one theme: you've decided to run away from your Mandalorian. On purpose. For his birthday. Listen, everyone's got their kinks, and his is bounty hunting (sort of. Mostly, it's you.)

Series: Part 3 of Creed, a non-linear series about Din Djarin and his favorite... distraction.

Warnings: Explicit sexual content, canon-typical violence, object insertion but probably not in the way you think, oral sex, manual sex, implied penetrative sex, brief mention of somnophilia, canon what canon, no betas we die like men [warnings are for all drabbles.]

Tropes: established relationship, the helmet comes off, hurt/comfort, fluff, adventure

Author's note: When I finished Easy Mark, I wanted to write something adventurous and fun next, something that lets these two show how much they really do enjoy each other's company. Each drabble is set during a different time in their relationship but it's all after the Mos Eisley incident mentioned in Distractions.

***

RUN 3: THE OTHER THRONE ROOM

The third time, he's impressed: “When I said run, I didn’t mean run to the nearest available warlord."

“Yeah, but I saw the puck Karga gave you. Seemed convenient. Easiest way to kill two banthas with one knife.”

Din's having this conversation with your knees as he looks up at you on your perch. The aforementioned warlord's throne had been a comfortable spot from which to watch your bounty hunter do what he did best, but the dais at your feet is now splattered with blood from the bodyguard that had been unwise enough to challenge him to single combat. The warlord himself is bound and gagged on the floor, cuffs clattering as he shifts impotently against the flagstones. No one had noticed you, the lowly installer tech, sneak in the back door and take the throne for yourself in the commotion.

"How in the hells did you even get in here? I lost a whole day figuring out how to get over that shield wall." He had, you'd watched him do it, secure in your position as the backwater outpost's newest employee. You'd been repairing a HoloNet hard line that stretched across the cluster of low rooftops surrounding the courtyard and therefore had an excellent vantage point as the gate guards flatly refused to let an armed Mandalorian into the keep. You'd even given him a cheerful wave when they weren't looking, nearly certain Din wouldn't start a massacre in a yard full of civilians just to get to you.

"That's because you showed up all hot and bothered and waving a blaster around. I came in looking for a job, and when they got a taste of my talents, well, they couldn't wait to hire me."

The helmet makes a spluttering noise. "Tell me you didn't-- what does that-- what did you do?"

You laugh. "Relax, Mando. You don't need to avenge my honor yet. All I did was flirt. And to be fair, I do know how to upgrade a HoloNet connection. The amount of channel competition on their mesh network was awful. I had to dig around in a lot of very dusty attics." You reach behind the base of the throne, feeling blindly for the sack you'd brought with you.

"Still sounds better than climbing over a--" Din starts, but his words are cut off as he catches the heavy canvas bag you fling at him, the hardened knuckle guard of his glove making a chiming sound against the contents even through the cloth.

"Open it," you command imperiously from your perch. Din does, giving a low whistle through the modulator. He pokes a fingertip inside, using it to rifle through the contents, and you can tell he's counting under his breath. You'd done the same when you'd found it, the pile of credits big enough to make your eyes widen and your brain briefly go to static.

"Where did you find this?" he says at last. "This is more than the last four jobs put together."

You can't contain yourself any longer. You come out of your seat, stepping off the raised dais and dropping down to stand next to him. "I know.” The giddiness you feel leaks into your voice. "That's enough for repairs and refit. That's enough for the rations the womp rat likes. That's enough for everything we need all at once and a new sleeping pad." You put a hand on Din’s vambrace, hoping he can sense your excitement. "And that's not all. There's something more. Something important."

"Nothing's more important than a pile of hard credits," Din retorts, but you can hear his smile. He nudges the still-struggling warlord with the toe of his boot. "We'll find a nice closet to stash him in on the way. Show me?"

***

You’d found the treasury room on one of your installation jobs, replacing old fiber optic in the interstitial spaces between the outpost's wooden ceilings and its hardened steel roof. You’d been following the cable when it took a sharp drop and terminated in a comms panel that looked like it hadn’t been used in decades. Next to it was a nest of other, much newer electronics: a scomp link port backed up by a biometric authenticator; a localized security computer inset just beside the reinforced door frame; a series of seriously intense magnetic deadbolts. Every component was tied to an alarm system that had been state of the art in the Core ten years ago. Out here it had probably cost a small fortune.

The setup caught your attention immediately. Anything behind a security system like that had to be worth getting to. You ditched the rest of the day's work immediately, knowing no one would miss the tech with the sling full of tools they'd last seen crawling into a maintenance hatch. Most of the people in the building probably don’t even know this corridor exists, let alone the door that now beckoned to you enticingly from its cradle of locks.

It had taken you most of the day to get through. Scomp links were easy to clone if you had the right tools -  which you didn't -  or access to the original - which you also lacked. It was a slow and fiddly job, sliding the thin sheet of transparisteel you always carry in your kit between each of the scomp link receptor's teeth and waiting to hear the right kind of click. So many unsuccessful attempts would have certainly triggered the alarm if you hadn't shorted it first, wiring the sensor array into the old fiber optic line to keep the circuit closed before cutting the connection to the door. The security computer was off-network, a straightforward way to keep it out of reach of an override code from a central control room, but that also meant it couldn't do more than blink impotently at you as you tried to rekey the biometric scanner. And then tried again. And again.

By the time the magnetic locks let go with a final-sounding clunk, you were past tired and halfway to exhausted. "This had better be good," you said aloud to the empty corridor, and waved one hand in front of the sensor until the door hissed open.

It was better than good. It was like a dream, or maybe a fairytale. You'd heard stories about places like this one, local heavies on the Outer Rim who'd taken the fall of the Empire as a sign and converted all their wealth to metals and other materials for war or barter. You'd never believed they were true.

The room is small but tidy, crates and shelving units stacked one on top of another. Several of the lower drawers are partially open and you can see the glint of gold, the subdued shine of platinum. One shelf is occupied entirely with white-grey ingots of doonium, while another holds a small rack of crystals you can’t identify. You step inside, shutting the door behind you and feeling as though you've just walked into a tacky holonovel, and kneel to rifle through the crates. Your mind is racing through the possibilities. Two nights, plus travel time to reach the outpost. Throw in another few hours while you persuaded first the gate guards and then the warlord's administrative flunkies to take you in, and it’s been just under two and a half days. That means Din will find you in the next twelve hours - almost certainly sooner. You need a plan.

You start pulling open drawers methodically rather than randomly. Most of the cache is no good to you: no practical application for either you or your bounty hunter, useful only in quantities too heavy to carry or too rare to fence quietly. There are exceptions - you shove a small spool of something you think might be very thin cortosis wire in your bag, and in one well-thumbed drawer you find a sack full of credits that's worth more to you than anything else in the room. Credits spend without fuss and they can't be easily traced. That alone makes the time you spent slicing your way through the door worth it.

Two boxes left, the inert lockpads thick with dust. They're both small, shoved into a corner as though someone had kicked them there in a hurry to get to something else. You reach to inspect the first, easing up the lid, unsure of what it might contain.

You almost laugh when you realize what you're looking at. The small rectangular space is packed tight with flashing metal and precious stones, strung into delicate and decorative arrangements. Jewelry - as if the treasury room really is a pirate cave from a children's storybook. You balance the crate on one of the cabinets and card your fingers through it, letting the tangle catch and gleam in the dim light. It's an absurd thing to find on a planet like this one. Jewelry. As if a pretty necklace would mean anything when a renegade dropship blew through the shield generator.

You leave the jewelry scattered across the cabinet top in a tangled drift like a tidal pool and lean down to pick up the last crate. It's heavier than you anticipated and you wrestle it into an open space on the floor with a surprised oomph. Not just earrings in this one then. What could be that heavy but got pushed aside as though it were useless?

You flick open the latch. For a moment you don't recognize what you're looking at. It's just more metal, grey and dull, stamped with the Imperial cog this time instead of the emblem of the New Rep—

You slam the crate closed again, heart hammering in your ears, and frantically catalogue your options for jamming the treasury door behind you so no one else can get in. You have to find Din. You have to find Din.

***

Your Mandalorian unceremoniously dumps his bounty in a heap in the disused corridor, not bothering to find a closet. There's enough chaos throughout the building that the warlord’s shouts for help, muffled by the gag Din forced between his amateurishly sharpened teeth, are unlikely to attract attention. It takes you no time at all to get back through the treasury room’s security system, having already bypassed the scomp link and reprogrammed the biometric lock to open at the touch of your hand.

You push Din in ahead of you, narrowly avoiding slamming into his armored back as he takes two steps inside and then stops. "Maker. How did you find this?" His gaze is sweeping the room, assessing, completing the same inventory you had when you'd first realized what it contained.

"Running cable," you answer. "Doesn't matter." You'd stashed the little crate with its plain ingots in one of the cabinets, shoving it to the back to keep it safe in case anyone else came looking. It was unlikely that even the warlord's most trusted bureaucrats would be able to get through the door after you were done slicing the security system, but you couldn't risk it. You open the cabinet and push a box of what might be aurodium ore out of the way, finding the crate exactly where you left it. You lift it out with both hands and set it on the table next to the pile of jewelry.

There's probably a correct way to do what you're about to but you have no idea what it is. So: "Din," you say, to get his attention - you never use his real name in public, not even when you're alone - and the helmet whips around to stare at you in surprise. Then you unceremoniously pop the lid and shove the crate towards him.

Whatever reaction you'd expected, it wasn't this. Din goes absolutely still for a moment, every movement under the armor stopping at once like a droid having its power cut. You can't tell if he's examining the contents of the crate or you, and his lack of motion makes a tiny spark of fear shoot up your spine, some deep animal part of you recognizing the quiet focus of a predator.

The visor finally tips to look directly at you. "It’s beskar. Do you know what this means?"

"Uh-- not really," you respond lamely. His reaction has made you strangely unsure of yourself. "I know it's... important. I know it belongs with you." He hasn't moved any further and the twinge you'd felt is rapidly consolidating into a nervous twist in your gut.

"It's beskar," Din says again, and you open your mouth to shoot back something stupid like no kidding, but he's still talking. "Beskar that was stolen from Mandalorians. You found it and now you’re just giving it back.” He's accelerating now, as if it's vital that he tell you this information before something terrible happens. "Beskar is our future. This is enough to feed everyone in the covert-- every adult, every foundling--  for a year. Maybe more. You-- I--" His voice isn't breaking so much as shutting down, his vocal cords unable to keep up as his words tumble over one another. You catch another fragment that contains you and something that might be did this but it's nothing as coherent as a sentence, and then he gives up all together and you're halfway launched into an open cabinet as he slams into you, wrapping his arms around you in a bruisingly tight hug that seems to surprise him at least as much as it does you.

You yelp as your head misses the corner of a crate by a scant inch but Din doesn't seem to care, his vambraces digging into your ribs, his bandolier smashed against your breasts. It's an awkward embrace, maybe the most awkward thing you've ever seen him do, and somehow it’s the awkwardness that drives home how much his gratitude is horribly, crushingly sincere. You're not handling the moment any better: you can feel your cheeks burning with chagrin and your mouth is squashed into his shoulder, muffling your protests. "I didn't do anything," you’re compelled to say to the gap in his armor between breastplate and pauldron. "I was just curious. All I did was break in and it was here."

"Shut up," Din says savagely, and then just as abruptly lets go, pushing you away, tearing at his gloves. The second his hands are bare he reaches for you, running them over your jaw, your neck, the open collar of your tunic the same way another man might feverishly kiss you. Din's touched you enough that you can feel that this time is different, the warm roughness of his grip  conveying something new and meaningful that you can't quite decipher yet. It doesn't stop you from leaning into him, offering more of yourself, as his hands dip under your shirt and start to slide lower. 

Your shared moment of mutual embarrassment is dissolving into something urgent as Din drops to his knees in front of you. His intention is clear, but as much as you want this, want to explore whatever threshold you've just crossed, common sense dictates otherwise. "Mando… Mando. Din," you say again, trying to interrupt the reverent path of his hands unbuckling your belt. "We can't– we don't have time– we have to go." If you'd read the situation correctly, you have about an hour before word of what just happened spread outside the outpost. As soon as it does, a power vacuum too powerful to ignore will pull in every local thug who fancies themselves the next warlord, all of them gunning for a chance at the Mandalorian who'd deprived them of the last man to hold the throne. Din had won the contest with the bodyguard at least forty minutes ago. You need to be well on your way to hyperspace by now.

The uncomfortable press of the cabinets against your back lessens as Din does his own mental calculation and arrives at the same conclusion. "You're right," he grumbles, getting to his feet. By the time he stands you can tell he's back to his usual sardonic self, but whatever's changed between you is still simmering under the surface. He's holding something back, waiting for the right - or at least a safer - moment. "Sorry, mesh'la. I'll make it up to you later."

"Shouldn't I be the one saying that?" you tease, glad that his awkwardness has dissipated. "It's your birthday."

Din huffs indignantly. "That's right. It's my birthday. And I want to make it up to you later." He slaps your ass as you move toward the door, like a rancher herding a recalcitrant blurrg. "Get going," he commands, as if leaving wasn't your idea. "The sooner we get back the sooner I can show my appreciation."

The countdown timer on your wrist goes off as you're sprinting back to the spaceport, Din half-dragging, half-carrying his bounty and your legs unsteady with the added weight of the beskar. 

Both of you ignore it.

***

Your escape goes as smoothly as can be expected. Which is to say you make it to the ship alive and with cargo in tow, even if you’re both bloodied and sweating by the time you hit the loading dock. Your Mandalorian is unusually quiet once you reach the relative safety of open space. Less than talkative even after he puts the bounty in carbonite and then promptly hauls you off to his bunk to pleasure you in every way permitted to him by his Creed. You enjoy yourself anyway, his solemn attention to your body steadfast as you moan and quiver under him, although you miss the hot litany of filth from him that frequently accompanies such occasions.

He doesn't say anything beyond the strictly necessary until you're eating dinner together in the cargo bay -  or rather, you're eating and he's watching you eat, as has become your routine during meals. The beskar ingots are stacked on the makeshift table between you in tidy lines, as though Din can’t quite believe they’re real and needs to confirm for himself by handling them. You shift a little in your seat on the floor, curling your legs, bunching more of your loose tunic under yourself as a makeshift cushion. Certain parts of you were not just tired but outright sore by the time Din was done demonstrating his... appreciation. You hadn't had time to restock on supplies, so you raided the freeze-dried rations to put together something resembling a meal. You've just snagged another bite of reconstituted fungal protein when he picks up one of the ingots and turns it over.

"I wonder what clan this came from," Din says, partially to you and partially to the metal itself. "Whoever they were, they're probably all dead. You said you found it running cable?"

"Yeah. Happened to see the security system from the attic. I got lucky," you say around a mouthful of food. "The door was there and it looked interesting."

"You didn't just get lucky," he objects. His tone is still absent, as if thinking about something else. "I got lucky. I got very..." but the rest of the sentence trails off. You lift your head from your noodles to find the helmet pointed directly at you, as though he was waiting for you to look up.

"I got lucky. I am lucky," Din says, softly but firmly, and reaches across the beskar to take your hand in his.

THIS BLOG IS DEFUNCT DUE TO A GLITCH IN TUMBLR'S SYSTEM. PLEASE FOLLOW @weird-writes INSTEAD FOR UPDATES.

[checkoutmybookshelf]

These Books Live Rent-Free In My Head, So Y'all Get to Hear About How Amazing They Are

*So head's up: This is a sequel, so there will be spoilers and I will assume you have read it if you're checking out this post, so be warned!*

It's pretty unusual for me to post about a single book that isn't also the first in a series. That seems to just be bad form on the internet. Tracy Deonn's Bloodmarked is an exception because of just how spectacularly she handles Bree, and what she is able to say and show with a Black female protagonist in a very, very white and bepenised organization. (Can I say bepenised on Tumblr? Whatever, we're rolling with it.) I want to get up here and SAY how amazing this book is. Let's talk Bloodmarked.

Ok, so what sparked this post is that the first chunk of this book pulls exactly zero punches about what primarily white, patriarchal societies are willing to do to Black bodies and minds.

The sheer balls it takes to *checks notes* kidnap the scion of Arthur as she comes into her power, pulls Excalibur from the stone, revealed a demon masquerading as one of your pages, pulled Lacelot's scion back into the fold, and single-handedly stubborned her way through a very rigged system and then keep her mesmered, brainwash her, and pump her full of what our equally kidnapped healer has zero qualms about calling poisonous and experimental are astoundingly large and astoundingly white. Literally nothing about reading this section of the book is comfortable or anything less than infuriating, and it lands hard.

This whole sequence recalls the history of violence enacted on Black bodyminds in America, and strongly reiterates the fact that that violence is STILL enacted on them. It also really highlights how systemic and individual racism work together to the point that the Order of the Round Table literally *delegitimized the authority of the scion of King Frickin' Arthur* because of that scion's skin color. If the Order of the Round Table can do that, then I don't think it's unfair to accuse the governing council of white supremacy.

What is the absolute kicker about the whole thing is that Bree still has to function in this system, and she literally has racist asshole King Frickin' Arthur in her head screwing with her ability to use both root and aether to manipulate her into basically signing over her body for his use. Seriously, not a fan of King. Frickin'. Arthur. in this book.

And yet despite all of this, Bree gets to be a whole human and a whole teenage girl. She gets to be a badass. She gets to be and feel beautiful. She gets to be brilliant, both academically and with people. She gets to have drama-filled crushes on boys (albeit with higher stakes than your average drama-filled teenage crush). I love how complex, nuanced, and throughly steeped in both history and contemporary culture this whole story is, and how Bree carries all of that throughout the story.

There's not a whole lot of actual analysis in this post; plenty of other scholars and readers with actual lived experience who are more qualified to analyze this have, and you should go read them. My goal with this post is to offer love and attention to a book that is still living rent-free in my head. If for some reason you haven't read these books (and well done for still being here at this point if that's the case!), then you absolutely should. I inhaled them in a weekend, and they left handprints on my heart, they way the best books do.

[xansmenagerie]

Spirited

Not dead, just brain full between work and autumn and non-Tumblr writing. In the meantime, here's one of the rare bits of background writing I did for my other tabletop game; I play a kandra (a corpse-eating shapeshifting spy) in a Mistborn game, and this was a 5+1 I wrote for them for fun after they hit the point where they can legitimately get Preservation to roll for them occasionally.

If you've read Brandon Sanderson's Mistborn series then this crew is out and causing trouble a couple of centuries before Vin's born; if you haven't, and you like dark-but-hopeful fantasy with solid magic systems, you might want to give the books a go.

RanVeer's pronouns are deliberately Yes, before anyone asks.

The mistwraith doesn't think as such; it can feel though, and those feelings could almost be thoughts at times. This is one of those times; something is nudging it, softening the fear of being out in daylight, making it want to crawl to a specific place.

"You're a brave one, aren't you?" The noises make no sense, mere vibration on the mistwraith's skin, but it can feel the footsteps coming closer through its contact with the floor. "You'll do nicely."

Sudden sharp pressure on its skin, two points digging in; the urge to recoil and flee damped down as something close to a thought shows it how to draw the metal in, to wrap around it like that-

The kandra called RanVeer wakes up, disorientated but very much capable of thought; so busy thinking, in fact, they don't feel the other presence withdraw.

---

"Why are you in there?" NolToun asks the barely open chest exasperatedly, hands on hips. The lid bucks a little in mute response.

"RanVeer, I mean it. Come out of there at once, child."

The chest is only big enough for a full-grown person if the person in question isn't concerned with little things like joints; RanVeer pops them back into place as she unfolds, her skin turning a warm brown to hide the shimmering purple bones of her True Body as she does so.

NolToun passes her the soft wrap she had managed to drag over the chest for extra cover on her way in with a fond if still exasperated smile. "You're getting better at that RanVeer. Faster, more accurate. Now, explain to me why you were hiding in there in the first place."

"I was practising stealth," RanVeer mutters as she ties the wrap in place.

NolToun raises an eyebrow, waiting patiently.

RanVeer deflates, fight already burnt up. "EleDaar was teasing me again. I just…I don't see why we have to go out on Contract, given what the nobles ask us to do." She sounds close to tears. "I hate knowing you're going to go out there as soon as they decide I don't need you to teach me any more, and I never want to go."

NolToun hands her out of the chest solemnly; once she's clear, he closes the lid and sits on it, patting the space next to him and inviting her to join him. RanVeer perches, primly and sullenly; NolToun puts his arm around her shoulders and she leans into him.

"They're not all so bad, little bit," he says softly. "Some of them are, never doubt that, but…the ones I'm not supposed to tell you about, like the man who hired me purely to make sure that no other kandra was in his household to keep his family safe? Those ones can be kinder than people here in the Homeland, rare though they are."

"So why can't Father only allow the kind ones to hire us? Or better yet, not make us have to go on Contract at all?"

NolToun smiles sadly at the hitch in her voice. "Because he needs us to watch the bad ones more than he needs us to watch the kind ones. But that doesn't mean, for all the Seconds will tell you otherwise, that the kind ones don't exist."

You should listen urges the voice at the back of RanVeer's soul, the soundless words soothing away the scepticism of the young. Don't hate them all

"I'll see if there's space for you in the Archives, alright?" NolToun asks her gently. "You won't have to go out on Contract, and I know you enjoy reading the histories."

RanVeer drops her head down to his shoulder. "Okay," she replies, not entirely sure who she's replying to, feeling approval both within and without.

---

TaarPell spreads their hands, a carefully neutral expression of sympathy on their face. "I don't know what to tell you, RanVeer," they say, maintaining the polite façade, "The Seconds have made the wishes of the First known, and part of that is that you are no longer being considered as a potential parent."

"It is…unexpected, certainly," RanVeer replies, placing the words carefully. She's learnt that same polite neutrality through long practice, applying the skill in watching and learning behaviours to her own people instead of those she would replace if on Contract. "Are there any other messages that might concern me?"

TaarPell shakes their head. "No, only that you are to remain in service to the Archives until further notice."

"Thank you," RanVeer says, courteous even in her disappointment. "I shan't take any more of your time."

It should be a comfort, being told to stay in the Archives. It's safe, it's quiet, even with the turnaround of Contracts it's not all that much work to keep on top of, and yet.

Either she knows more than TaarPell or else the older kandra was being reserved as a kandra should be. She's heard the murmurs, and she knows what some of the older generations think of NolToun; a maverick who speaks of peace between the kandra and the surface, even friendship, and while she feels that might be going a bit too far she can see the appeal in his idealism.

Which would explain why she's no longer allowed to nurture and teach the next generation, in case she passes along the taint to which she has succumbed.

She would complain to NolToun - politely - but there's a problem; NolToun has dropped out of contact, even allowing for his notoriously poor report sending skills, to the point that some of those murmurs are suggesting that he's betrayed Father somehow, or even been taken by Ruin.

RanVeer just knows that whatever has happened, she misses him horribly.

Her route to the Histories happens to take her past the branching for Reports and Contracts. It's truly quiet for once; she can't feel anyone else moving around in this part of the Archives.

You could look, tickles a feeling at the back of her mind.

RanVeer pauses. She knows that as the most junior Archivist by some way she's not meant to enter Reports and Contracts without someone more senior keeping an eye on her - they are meant to be sealed after all, not for any eyes to see - but she could, if she was willing to take a risk, find NolToun's last Contract fairly easily. It's the same organisational system after all and she does have a reputation for very fast look-ups.

If you knew where he went, you could find him

Of course, it would mean having to arrange to be on Contract wherever he last was, and then…hoping she could somehow find a kandra who was older and far more experienced than her who was currently so well hidden no one else knew where he was.

Still.

NolToun is her parent, after all. She owes him the trying, at the very least.

She walks into Reports and Contracts with the measured walk of someone meant to be in there, the feeling of being urged forwards strengthening her resolve.

---

Rust and Ruin, he hates days like today.

Strictly speaking, Jedal has done nothing that breaks the Contract. And, strictly speaking, it makes sense for the gang boss, after a job gone wrong, to take out that considerable anger on the one person in his crew that he can't easily kill.

That doesn't mean that RanVeer appreciates being beaten to a bloody pulp on the flimsiest excuse. Jedal was in a fine enough temper on this occasion to borrow a heavy staff when fists and feet weren't enough; RanVeer had enough bones broken that being thrown at a fresh corpse and being told to 'get on with it' was its own peculiar form of agony, working around splinters and bruising until he could shed the old shape and start on the new.

He will heal fully, of course, is already in far better shape than any other member of the gang would be in a mere day later. But right now, holding himself upright and together on sheer willpower alone, he's struggling not to admit defeat and find a barrel to hide in until his Contract is up.

So, of course, Jedal wants him at this meeting, scoping out the potential competition. Not to replace them, not yet, but to get a feel for their strengths and weaknesses. Jedal isn't here - he's too important for mere business, or so he thinks, but RanVeer knows that his lieutenant will tell tales if a certain gang member isn't present to serve drinks.

He keeps his head down, keeps as much of an eye as he can on the room around his jostled bruises, keeps up the mannerisms of the locals while still erring on the side of politeness.

Look harder

In a room mostly of men, the scattering of women stand out - and this one stands out even more by virtue of looking completely harmless. Smaller, older, dressed conservatively but cleanly, she's dealing with the hulking brutes around her through wit, direct talking, and playing the matron card when it looks like it will work. RanVeer marks her as both the most interesting person in the room and the most dangerous to his current employer on principle.

He continues his circuit of the room, not settling on any person in particular for longer than necessary to dispense drinks or answer the occasional question. When his route takes him to the group the woman is currently part of, he's distracted trying to get the measure of her; one of her companions decides to be 'funny' and deliberately trips him up.

To RanVeer's surprise and embarrassment it's the woman who helps him up while the others laugh; he catches her eye by accident and sees the carefully banked anger that flares slightly as the collar of his shirt slips long enough for a bruise he hadn't had the energy to hide to peek out.

Remember

---

Ash and rain falling at the same time is fairly high on the list of reasons he wants to go back to the Homeland, RanVeer decides as he makes his way back to where he left his current 'gang member' set of bones. Rain had sounded so romantic in some of the histories from before the Deepness, but combined with ash…ugh. He's going to have to have to clean the house guard's uniform before it stains; Klem might be a raggy sort who wouldn't notice the smudge and smut, but Artur certainly would and more importantly so would his employers in House Wardwick.

He walks into the tavern boldly, just another punter on a night out, and wastes some time on an uncomfortable stool at a sticky table drinking some admittedly not terrible ale while waiting to see if anyone's followed him. He's pretty sure he's in the clear; all he's doing at Wardwick is observing, nothing exciting as of yet, nothing to arouse suspicion that a fourth cousin sent up from the south might not be exactly what they seem. After a suitable interval he goes to exercise some perfectly normal behaviours against a convenient alley wall, then slips unobserved through a little-used door to the dusty storeroom where he left his bones. He's perhaps a little less cautious than he should be, but he's been using this storeroom for weeks now and in all that time there's been no sign of use.

"I'm not sure if I should be concerned or pleased that I apparently think something like a legend."

RanVeer starts violently, stepping back into the closed door.

It's the woman from the business meeting some months back, perched primly on one of the crates - the only place in the room where the dust has been obviously disturbed so she's not sitting in it, although now he's looking he can see the route where someone less agile than him has cleaned their traces up behind them.

"I, I don't know what you mean, ma'am," he stammers, inwardly cursing himself for not having done his research and thus not knowing whether the woman before him would qualify for a ma'am from someone of his station. On the plus side, Artur would have no excuse to know either. "I just thought I heard something in here, and thought I'd check-"

"Please don't lie to me." The tone is polite and pleasant, but RanVeer shrinks away from it all the same, too close to some of the elders to be comfortable. Something around the woman's eyes softens, just a little. "You're not in trouble with me, and I have no reason to get you in trouble with your current employer even assuming I could find them. I simply wish to talk, that's all."

RanVeer forces himself to nod, then slides down the door until he's sitting leant against it. At the very least he might be able to feel or hear anyone who gets too close through the thin wood.

Once he's settled, the woman leans forward and continues. "When one of my occasional employees said that she'd smelt something off - something like vomit, in her words - when checking the rooms here for business reasons, it would have meant nothing to me if I hadn't also heard a couple of young," a brief pause, "gentlemen boasting about how easily they would find out if a kandra had entered their households."

RanVeer winces. "I'm not certain if I should apologise for proving them right, ma'am," he ventures; this earns him a fraction of a widening of the serene smile, and he hopes it counts as approval.

"Now, I'm also aware from their chatter that you and yours are for hire, correct?" the woman asks lightly, although the way she's pinning him to the door with her eyes suggests she has rather more interest than that. "What I'm not sure of is how one goes about organising the hire, especially if one…well. If one does not have the backing of a noble House, shall we say?"

It would be so easy for RanVeer to say anything, just to get her to go away and leave him to his work - and yet…

Trust her

It's not that long until his current Contract is up, and he has been trying to work out what future opportunities might lie in Urteau. And it's not as if the skaa can't hire a kandra, it's just made prohibitively difficult in both means and cost.

Trust

Her

If nothing else, she doesn't look like she can administer much of a beating - and, when it comes down to it, she's already shown more small kindnesses in two brief meetings than RanVeer has experienced in his entire time outside of the Homeland, and isn't that a depressing thought?

He clears his throat. "It will cost, ma'am, but I think I can help to make the arrangements on your behalf, if that would be amenable?"

It feels like an Age before the woman nods back, the movement small and quick. RanVeer feels a smile rise to his lips and lets it. "Now, you're going to need a bead of Atium…"

---

It feels like forever, but they did it. RanVeer leans down, gives their sleeping parent a chaste kiss on the forehead - something they'd seen parents do to their children amongst the local skaa - and tucks in the blankets around NolToun. NolToun, quiet and not raving for the moment, shifts a little in her sleep, but that's all.

RanVeer retreats back quietly to the chair in the corner where they can keep watch over her during the night. They have a little grace period, for now - Jan won't allow them to mope or to shirk for too long, but they feel their owner understands how important this is to them.

They're not the sort to pray. They never have been, for all that they know about the powerful forces that govern Scadriel and their own existence. Tonight though…

'I don't know how much of this is your doing, Preservation', RanVeer thinks, solemnity and gratitude entwined, 'But thank you'.

There's no answering nudge, no response at all that they can detect. It's okay. All that matters is that NolToun is physically safe, and that RanVeer knows where to look to fix her soul.

They doze off in the chair, feeling safe for the first time in a long time; on the very edge of sleep they feel more than hear, You're welcome

[kecharacosplay]

Currently Feeling Like The Worst Person Alive

Rant post ahead, skip if you don't like sad/angry pouting.

This is my beautiful princess, Tonks. She's about 7 years old and is the most pampered baby I've ever had. She's also my first long-term cat, as before I'd only fostered a few.

She's always been a bit delicate, specifically regarding her health(little colds all the time, possibly allergies), but never anything serious...at least until the last year or so. A few months ago, she got a hematoma(swelling of the ear) that required a cannula(drain tube/surgery), and these past few weeks we've been dealing with a combination UTI/ear mites situation.

Luckily at her checkup, the ear mites seems to be taken care of, although the UTI came back after getting back from the appointment(was worried she had a blockage this time, but the pee -did- come out eventually, just took her a few tries).

So you may be wondering why I feel like a horrible person because of this? Well, it's because she also has shitty teeth and needs a deep cleaning/possible extraction...but of course it's going to cost over $700 dollars. Those who know me, and maybe those who don't can probably guess that I don't have that kind of money. I had to beg help from my parents just to cover the antibiotics/checkup(about $200 including vet fees for current issues, nearly $400 last year for the cannula).

I feel horrible because they've told me a few times over the years that her teeth weren't great and she'd probably need to have them cleaned. And because of the cost, I just keep putting it off, hoping that someday things would turn around financially and I'd be able to get her the help that she needs.

This has not happened yet...but I'm still hoping. She hasn't really been eating much the last few weeks, possibly because of the stress of medicine/appointments/uti pain...but her shitty teeth probably cause her pain every day too.

So here are my options:

1: Commissions: My primary source of income, and preferred method if I'm being honest. Cosplay costumes, dresses, purses, hell I've even done a few plushies now. If it's sewn, I can probably make it, and I use Paypal mostly(invoicing system allows for payment plans), but I also accept CashApp, Stripe, and a few others I can't remember. You can contact me about this in any form you wish. Tumblr message, IG, FB, email, anything except phone call(I don't have a 'business line', just a personal phone).

2: Patreon- I don't post newd stuff, but I do occasionally do tease things, but only for the higher tiers. I have a whole bunch of stuff planned to add to this if it ever actually gains traction, but for now I just post a set of pics(cosplay/casual/sometimes boudoir) once a week.

3: Donations- My least favorite, but possibly has the highest potential? I don't use GFM because they are greedy bastards that abuse the shit out of desperate people, so instead I use Ko-Fi(and CashApp too I guess?) If you don't wanna pay monthly, and don't have the funding for fancy-custom-made garments, but still want to help, this is the way to go. I also have a handful of digital patterns here as well, which I guess is a way to donate while still getting something back.

Sorry this griping ended up so long. I like to type when I'm extra frustrated and depressed, and I know Tumblr isn't the best place for money-raising, but I honestly just don't have the energy to attempt building a following anywhere else. I've been on IG for 8-10 years and still haven't hit 500 followers, so I just don't think I'm one of those people that flourishes in the spotlight.

Still, for the sake of my sweet little princess(I also have a dog with recently-developed seizures, and the other cat Cirilla is fine on health but just recently added to the bills with vaccine updates), I will keep trying until my dying breath.

[not-poignant]

Hi, pia, have you ever heard of radishfiction.com? It's a mobile app specifically for serial writers and allows you to monetize your writing. And since you already have a pretty decent following I'm thinking it might be something you could use? Sorry if this is a weird ask but I adore your work and hate to think of you struggling to earn money.

I was looking at their policies and they allow explicit/dark stories as long as there are content warnings and also allow stories that have been published elsewhere. You'd have to read the policies yourself to be sure (not sure how the payment or tax system works) because I just skimmed them but it sounds good so far? I dunno 😅

Hi anon,

I did look into Radish early on (I got an email from them, actually, way back when).

I have been curious about it, I know that the pay is really terrible overall (some people are doing very well, but dollars to cents are still not really doing great compared to other places). I'm actually a member of several serialised fiction groups and Radish comes up a lot (the pros but also the cons).

The biggest issue is mostly time and labour. I'm a disabled writer with a lot of chronic illness/es. Sometimes just writing chapters each month is enough to burn me out. Putting up chapter notifications on Patreon, Discord, and Tumblr is so tiring that I wouldn't even consider notifying people on say, Twitter, even though that makes good business sense.

I could technically diversify into Wattpad and Royal Road as well, and post stories there, it's allowed. But the extra work involved is extremely intimidated. I'm not a healthy full-time writer who can afford to kind of...put everything everywhere?

I definitely haven't ruled it out, but sometimes the problem isn't that they allow dark material, sometimes it's just that there's no magical energy fairy who will come along and make me able to handle setting up yet another account, monitoring yet more tax forms, and having to advertise yet one more thing. Usually I don't like to commit to something like that unless I know it will work out re: profitability. And I'm not entirely sure it will, much with novel publishing, there are a lot of authors on Radish who are making 5-10 cents a month (or $1-5 dollars a month) with regular update schedules and appealing content. That's...a very poor turnaround for the labour involved in setting up and getting started and formatting and releasing. Are there successful people on Radish? Sure! There are also successful writers on Patreon too! And successful novelists. But for everyone doing really well with it, the vast majority won't be making anything more than pocket money (see: Me and novels when I thought that might really help my income).

The app serial market is fairly oversaturated with novelists breaking up their novels into little chunks and selling them as serials there, it's a hugely competitive market, and even many Radish authors are pulling out and moving to the Patreon model instead, because they just can't keep up. I think possibly I could make it work, but the demographic isn't one that wants sex scenes as long as I write etc. But anyway, it's definitely something I've thought about, we'll see what happens in the future!

[glitchytripod]

Can we see more progress from your Pokemon x SMT project? I'm actually seriously interested in seeing how far you take it

I'm really, really, really glad to hear that you're interested in it!!!

OK so i don't want to sound rude or like i'm brushing this question off or anything, I'm just laying out the facts so there's no misunderstanding. If i do sound that way, just know i have a big stupid grin on my face as i'm typing this out.

Am I still working on it: Yes! in fact, i'm working on it as i'm typing this up. Here is the current status:

All of the system-level stuff is done. This is things like the overall battle system & mechanics, overworld control & interactivity, saving & loading, etc. All of it is done, and now what's left is construction of the "content" of the game.

When I say "content" I'm talking about things like, dungeon & general environment layout/design, enemy movesets, enemy ai, attack animations, attack data & balancing, writing, writing, writing, WRITING, oh my GOD there is so much writing to be done!!!!!

hey do you know why mainline SMT games come out like once a decade????? its because of negotiation dialogue!!!!!! The system i've put together is a really dumbed down version of it, and there is SO much dialogue to write it's unreal!!!! (also im not really happy with how it turned out so I need to rework it!)

and beyond that there is stuff like cutscenes that need to be written as well. and character portrait sprites and such. The game isn't really even in a "playable" state right now (i haven't added a "game over" screen yet), but once all of the content stuff has been built, it should be there. and then you do play tests and bug fixes and yadda yadda yadda

and uh, also. some real-life stuff came up a lil while ago that i won't go into. but i wasnt able to work on it for a bit and i'm just now getting back into the swing of things. dont worry, everythings cool now

Is there anything I can show right now? errrr, kind of? There are few things that I want to keep secret for now. or at least until i'm ready to actually, formally announce that the game is a *thing*. BUT i've been working on this thing for what, six+ months now? I have a couple old videos that I made to show some friends on discord that I can show off that show off a bit of what I want to go for with the game.

err, i would put them here but tumblr doesn't seem to like that?????? i'll make a follow up post.

seriously, it makes me super happy that there's even one person out there that is excited for this thing. It's been an idea that's been burning a hole in my brain for so long that i almost feel like i HAVE to make it in order to fit more ideas in there lol.

Thank you for sending me this ask. i really, really, truly appreciate it.

I have some more things that I'm just itching to share, but am just not quite there yet. All I can say is: SOON.

[ironwoman359]

Hello. I saw the post you reblogged about toxicity in the TS fandom. And as someone who is relatively new (Just over 2 months, heyo!), may I ask what kind of toxic behaviour do you see in the fandom? I hope this isn't too much for me to ask, I was just a bit curious and wanted some clarification on the matter. Please feel free to ignore this if it bothers you!

Well, welcome to the fandom, first of all! I hope you’re having fun so far. 

In regards to the post you’re talking about, I think @izzyfandoms said it best: “...most fandoms are okay but have a loud toxic minority, but for us the not-toxic people are often the loudest so we can come off as pure and perfect...” 

Most fandoms do have an amount of toxic behavior in them, it’s very rare (I’d say impossible, actually) to find one with zero problems, but it’s also usually more noticable in other communities than in this fandom, as we have been fortunate to have the non-toxic majority also be the louder voices most of the time (most often in fandoms, toxicity is a loud minority, though there are of course exceptions to this as well). 

The other thing I think is important to remember is that this fandom started out smaller than it is now. I’ve been a presence here since november 2017, and there are other who have been around even longer, and back then, the fandom was much smaller and therefore the toxic minority was even harder to notice. This led to us gaining a reputation of “purity,” which in turn made issues more complicated when they started to crop up. Every fandom is going to have issues, things that people in it disagree about, and people who try to stir up trouble. This is normal, and a fandom displaying those traits is not immediately a bad fandom. What can shift a fandom into an unhealthy one is when issues, disagreements, and drama become the focal point and people begin to treat each other poorly over these things. And I would say a majority of fanders are good at not falling into that type of thinking or acting. But it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, and it doesn’t mean that the fandom as a whole can just stick our heads in the sand and pretend everything is fine. 

So, you asked me what toxic behaviors I see. I’m going to talk about some examples I’ve seen in this fandom, and before I do I’d like to state first off that it is not my intention to attack anyone specific, or to shame people for their tastes in characterizations, ships, or their triggers or squicks. This is me trying to give my open and honest opinion about this community while being as respectful and tactful as possible. 

Also going forward, every time I say “the fandom” or “people” or refer to the community in some other all encompassing way, know that I do not mean every single person in it, or even a majority necessarily, just enough people to make it noticable. If you exhibit some of the behaviors I’m talking about, I’m not saying you’re a bad person or that you shouldn’t be here, far from it. But everyone has flaws, and these are just some common things that I see in this community. Maybe if you see yourself in this post, you can take a step back and consider your thoughts and actions to see how they may be harming you or others. 

Regardless of everything I’ve said and am about to say, I really love this fandom and the people in it, and I’m incredibly grateful for the impact it’s had on my life. Some bumps in the road aren’t going to change that. (Also I don’t engage with the fandom much outside of tumblr, things may be different on twitter, discord, or other places, this is just my experience with this platform specifically. Okay? Okay.)

So...here’s what I see in this fandom:

It is quick to judge. Anyone been here long enough to remember the week when Roman was “cancelled” between Accepting Anxiety part 1 and part 2? I came into the community later that year, but the fandom elders can tell you, there was a rally against Roman as a character, and a slew of people calling out prinxiety shippers for shipping such a “toxic ship.”  You’d think after that first time, the community would have learned to perhaps be not so quick in its judgements, but we’ve seen the same pattern over and over again.

People were quick to judge Deceit when his character was introduced, which was followed by a back and forth where people argued about what was and wasn’t “sympathetic” content, how things should be tagged, and 

People were quick to judge Virgil after Embarrassing Phases

People were quck to judge Patton after SvS and Patton AND Virgil after DWIT. 

People were quick to judge Remus after DWIT.

And here’s the thing, it’s fine if you have different interpretations of characters, or prefer certain versions. You see Patton’s character flaws and decide “you know what, this character isn’t for me now” or want to explore those flaws taken to their extremes? That is okay. What is not okay, and what this fandom does a lot, is insisting that YOUR interpretation and version of the character is the correct one and shaming people with different ideas. It’s fine if you don’t like Patton or take issue with his current flaws being displayed. It’s NOT fine to attack people who disagree and send anon hate to blogs who speak out in support of Patton. It’s fine if you don’t like unsympathetic sides content. It’s NOT fine to shame people who do or send anon hate to unsympathetic sides blogs. There are lots of different ways to interpret all SIX sides, and yet so often I see people go on some sort of crusade to defend their opinon and insist that it’s canon. 

But that’s all just the characters, this fandom also is very quick to judge the individuals in it. Real, breathing people with lives outside the internet are often shamed or attacked for their opinions about the characters, different ships, the way they’ve chosen to portray the characters in their art or stories, I could go on. Purity culture and cancel culture are prevalant in all areas of the internet, and this fandom is not exempt from it. Demonizing people for making small mistakes, or even for just disagreeing with you, is never okay, and yet it is something I’ve seen again and again in this fandom. Which leads me to my next point...

Anon hate. God, it makes me so angry, and this is the only one that I won’t try to portray both sides of or be diplomatic about, because it is flat out unacceptable no matter the circumstance. There are so many blogs in this fandom that have horrible anon hate problems, and I am sick of seeing it. I don’t care what a person has done or what opinions they have that you may disagree with, I don’t care if they’re the worst person in the world. It’s not okay to send anon hate, and it’s not okay to tell people to kill themselves. You find a blog in this fandom that you just Do Not like, either because of their content, their opinions, hell, just their personality? Unfollow them. Block them if you want. But sending anon hate over ships, characters, opinions and statements, it’s just childish and unacceptable. And it happens enough in this fandom that there are people who are afraid of making statements about things for fear of attracting more of that energy. Love always follows the hate and drowns it out in this fandom, for which I’m grateful, but the hate shouldn’t exist in the first place. Cut that shit out. 

In general, this fandom has not handled differing opinions well, be it opinions on how to tag content, disagreements over characterizations, or encountering an idea that you personally may not care for. It is ultimately up to individuals to curate their online experience, by unfollowing blogs they don’t like, blocking tags and blogs they don’t want to see, and reading summaries and content warnings before opening fics. Often in this fandom I think people get upset if something isn’t tagged the way they want it to be (and I’m not talking about not tagging triggers, I’m talking like, someone insisting a blogger tag deceit content as #ts deceit when they already tag it as #deceit sanders. In situations like that it is the responsibilty of that someone to either block the tags a blog is using or not follow blogs whose tagging system doesn’t work for them), or if someone disagrees with them and we forget that it is okay to just...unfollow people. You don’t have to follow every blog in this fandom to be a part of the community, and if a blog is making posts and content you don’t like, unfollow them, don’t attack them for it. Accept that they have as much a right to their opinions and their space in the fandom as you do, and adjust your block and follow list accordingly so that you can get the experience that YOU want out of this fandom. 

I hope this was helpful, and I hope it didn’t get too long for you. I’m not putting this under a cut because I think it’s important, but I will tag it as #longpost so my mobile users don’t suffer too much. If you want to discuss this in the notes, please keep it civil, and remember that we all are fans of Thomas here, and that we probably have more in common than we do differences. I love you guys, stay awesome