#Visual Studio 2010

[garadinervi]

Irma Blank, On Line, P420, Bologna, 2014, Printed on Gmund Color 49 paper, Edition of 210 copies, 200 signed and numbered, and 10 signed and numbered from I to X, each with an original intervention by the artist [Studio Bruno Tonini, Gussago (BS). Printed Matter, New York, NY. Art: © Irma Blank. Edition: © P420, Bologna]

Edited by: P420, Bologna Graphic Design: Studio Filippo Nostri

[theartofpixar]

[bagdoesstuff]

totally easy to use software!!(tm)

[doyoulikethissong-poll]

Marina and the Diamonds - Bubblegum Bitch 2012

"Bubblegum Bitch" is a song by Welsh singer-songwriter Marina Diamandis, professionally known as Marina and formerly as Marina and the Diamonds, from her second studio album, Electra Heart (2012). Despite not having been released as a single, the song entered international charts after experiencing a resurgence on social media platform TikTok in early 2021, thanks to which it subsequently was certified gold in the US in March and silver in the UK in September the same year. The song was written by Diamandis and Nowels in June 2011 in Santa Monica, California, inspired by the book Bubblegum: The History of Plastic Pop by a British journalist, Nick Brownlee. Marina expressed her interest in releasing the song as a single in 2012, but she said that she could not do it due to the vulgar title, acknowledging radio constraints.

After returning from the US after the launch of her debut studio album in 2010, Diamandis considered creating a character which would become the centerpiece of her follow-up project. She commented that she was inspired by the "Tumblr generation" to photograph herself in several places across the US, appearing as a different persona in each picture to mimick the anonymity of the "mini-stars of the internet". The final product became "a cold, ruthless character who wasn't vulnerable", which she later named "Electra Heart" and detailed as a tool to represent a combination of elements associated with the American Dream and Greek tragedy, and added that visuals would merge the differing concepts into a cohesive idea. She originally planned to release the record as a "side project" under an entity separate from Marina and the Diamonds, although her management disapproved.

"Bubblegum Bitch" received a total of 88,8% yes votes!

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Oooh! A great Gavin Finney (Good Omens Director of Photography) interview with Helen Parkinson for the British Cinematographer! :)

HEAVEN SENT

Gifted a vast creative landscape from two of fantasy’s foremost authors to play with, Gavin Finney BSC reveals how he crafted the otherworldly visuals for Good Omens 2.  

It started with a letter from beyond the grave. Following fantasy maestro Sir Terry Pratchett’s untimely death in 2015, Neil Gaiman decided he wouldn’t adapt their co-authored 1990 novel, Good Omens, without his collaborator. That was, until he was presented with a posthumous missive from Pratchett asking him to do just that.  

For Gaiman, it was a request that proved impossible to decline: he brought Good Omens season one to the screen in 2019, a careful homage to its source material. His writing, complemented by some inspired casting – David Tennant plays the irrepressible demon Crowley, alongside Michael Sheen as angel-slash-bookseller Aziraphale – and award-nominated visuals from Gavin Finney BSC, proved a potent combination for Prime Video viewers.  

Aziraphale’s bookshop was a set design triumph.

Season two departs from the faithful literary adaptation of its predecessor, instead imagining what comes next for Crowley and Aziraphale. Its storyline is built off a conversation that Pratchett and Gaiman shared during a jetlagged stay in Seattle for the 1989 World Fantasy Convention. Gaiman remembers: “The idea was always that we would tell the story that Terry and I came up with in 1989 in Seattle, but that we would do that in our own time and in our own way. So, once Good Omens (S1) was done, all I knew was that I really, really wanted to tell the rest of the story.” 

Telling that story visually may sound daunting, but cinematographer Finney is no stranger to the wonderfully idiosyncratic world of Pratchett and co. As well as lensing Good Omens’ first outing, he’s also shot three other Pratchett stories – TV mini series  Hogfather  (2006), and TV mini-series The Colour of Magic (2008) and Going Postal (2010). 

He relishes how the authors provide a vast creative landscape for him to riff off. “The great thing about Pratchett and Gaiman is that there’s no limit to what you can do creatively – everything is up for grabs,” he muses. “When we did the first Pratchett films and the first Good Omens, you couldn’t start by saying, ‘Okay, what should this look like?’, because nothing looks like Pratchett’s world. So, you’re starting from scratch, with no references, and that starting point can be anything you want it to be.”  

Season two saw the introduction of inside-outside sets for key locations including Aziraphale’s bookshop. 

From start to finish 

The sole DP on the six-episode season, Finney was pleased to team up again with returning director Douglas Mackinnon for the “immensely complicated” shoot, and the pair began eight weeks of prep in summer 2021. A big change was the production shifting the main soho set from Bovington airfield, near London, up to Edinburgh’s Pyramids Studio. Much of the action in Good Omens takes place on the Soho street that’s home to Aziraphale’s bookshop, which was built as an exterior set on the former airfield for season one. Season two, however, saw the introduction of inside-outside sets for key locations including the bookshop, record store and pub, to minimise reliance on green screen.  

Finney brought over many elements of his season one lensing, especially Mackinnon’s emphasis on keeping the camera moving, which involved lots of prep and testing. “We had a full-time Scorpio 45’ for the whole shoot (run by key grip Tim Critchell and his team), two Steadicam operators (A camera – Ed Clark and B camera Martin Newstead) all the way through, and in any one day we’d often go from Steadicam, to crane, to dolly and back again,” he says. “The camera is moving all the time, but it’s always driven by the story.” 

One key difference for season two, however, was the move to large-format visuals. Finney tested three large-format cameras and the winner was the Alexa LF (assisted by the Mini LF where conditions required), thanks to its look and flexibility.  

The minisodes were shot on Cooke anamorphics, giving Finney the ideal balance of anamorphic-style glares and characteristics without too much veiling flare.

A more complex decision was finding the right lenses for the job. “You hear about all these whizzy new lenses that are re-barrelled ancient Russian glass, but I needed at least two full sets for the main unit, then another set for the second unit, then maybe another set again for the VFX unit,” Finney explains. “If you only have one set of this exotic glass, it’s no good for the show.” 

He tested a vast array of lenses before settling on Zeiss Supremes, supplied by rental house Media Dog. These ticked all the boxes for the project: “They had a really nice look – they’re a modern design but not over sharp, which can look a bit electronic and a bit much, especially with faces. When you’re dealing with a lot of wigs and prosthetics, we didn’t want to go that sharp. The Supremes had a very nice colour palette and nice roll-off. They’re also much smaller than a lot of large-format glass, so that made it easy for Steadicam and remote cranes. They also provided additional metadata, which was very useful for the VFX department (VFX services were provided by Milk VFX).” 

The Supremes were paired with a selection of filters to characterise the show’s varied locations and characters. For example, Tiffen Bronze Glimmerglass were paired with bookshop scenes; Black Pro-Mist was used for Hell; and Black Diffusion FX for Crowley’s present-day storyline.  

Finney worked closely with the show’s DIT, Donald MacSween, and colourist, Gareth Spensley, to develop the look for the minisode.

Maximising minisodes 

Episodes two, three and four of season two each contain a ‘minisode’ – an extended flashback set in Biblical times, 1820s Edinburgh and wartime London respectively. “Douglas wanted the minisodes to have very strong identities and look as different from the present day as possible, so we’d instantly know we were in a minisode and not the present day,” Finney explains.  

One way to shape their distinctive look was through using Cooke anamorphic lenses. As Finney notes: “The Cookes had the right balance of controllable, anamorphic-style flares and characteristics without having so much veiling flare that they would be hard to use on green screens. They just struck the right balance of aesthetics, VFX requirements and availability.” The show adopted the anamorphic aspect ratio (2:39.1), an unusual move for a comedy, but one which offered them more interesting framing opportunities. 

Good Omens 2 was shot on the Alexa LF, paired with Zeiss Supremes for the present-day scenes.

The minisodes were also given various levels of film grain to set them apart from the present-day scenes. Finney first experimented with this with the show’s DIT Donald MacSween using the DaVinci Resolve plugin FilmConvert. Taking that as a starting point, the show’s colourist, Company 3’s Gareth Spensley, then crafted his own film emulation inspired by two-strip Technicolor. “There was a lot of testing in the grade to find the look for these minisodes, with different amounts of grain and different types of either Technicolor three-strip or two-strip,” Finney recalls. “Then we’d add grain and film weave on that, then on top we added film flares. In the Biblical scenes we added more dust and motes in the air.”  

Establishing the show’s lighting was a key part of Finney’s testing process, working closely with gaffer Scott Napier and drawing upon PKE Lighting’s inventory. Good Omens’ new Scottish location posed an initial challenge: as the studio was in an old warehouse rather than being purpose-built for filming, its ceilings weren’t as high as one would normally expect. This meant Finney and Napier had to work out a low-profile way of putting in a lot of fixtures. 

Inside Crowley’s treasured Bentley.

Their first task was to test various textiles, LED wash lights and different weight loadings, to establish what they were working with for the street exteriors. “We worked out that what was needed were 12 SkyPanels per 20’x20’ silk, so each one was a block of 20’x20’, then we scaled that up,” Finney recalls. “I wanted a very seamless sky, so I used full grid cloth which made it very, very smooth. That was important because we’ve got lots of cars constantly driving around the set and the sloped windscreens reflect the ceiling. So we had to have seamless textiles – PKE had to source around 12,000 feet of textiles so that we could put them together, so the reflections in the windscreens of the cars just showed white gridcloth rather than lots of stage lights. We then drove the car around the set to test it from different angles.”  

On the floor, they mostly worked with LEDs, providing huge energy and cost savings for the production. Astera’s Titan Tubes came in handy for a fun flashback scene with John Hamm’s character Gabriel. The DP remembers: “[Gabriel] was travelling down a 30-foot feather tunnel. We built a feather tunnel on the stage and wrapped it in a ring of Astera tubes, which were then programmed by dimmer op Jon Towler to animate, pulse and change different colours. Each part of Gabriel’s journey through his consciousness has a different colour to it.” 

Among the rigs built was a 20-strong Creamsource Vortex setup for the graveyard scene in the “Body Snatchers” minisode, shot in Stirling. “We took all the yokes off each light then put them on a custom-made aluminium rig so we could have them very close. We put them up on a big telehandler on a hill that gave me a soft mood light, which was very adjustable, windproof and rainproof.” 

Shooting on the VP stage for the birth of the universe scenes in episode one.

Sky’s the limit 

A lot of weather effects were done in camera – including lightning effects pulsed in that allowed both direct fork lightning and sheet lightning to spread down the streets. In the grade, colourist Spensley was also able to work his creative magic on the show’s skies. “Gareth is a very artistic colourist – he’s a genius at changing skies,” Finney says. “Often in the UK you get these very boring, flat skies, but he’s got a library of dramatic skies that you can drop in. That would usually be done by VFX, but he’s got the ability to do it in Baselight, so a flat sky suddenly becomes a glorious sunset.” 

Finney emphasises that the grade is a very involved process for a series like Good Omens, especially with its VFX-heavy nature. “This means VFX sequences often need extra work when it comes back into the timeline,” says the DP. “So, we often add camera movement or camera shake to crank the image up a bit. Having a colourist like Gareth is central to a big show like Good Omens, to bring all the different visual elements together and to make it seamless. It’s quite a long grade process but it’s worth its weight in gold.” 

Shooting in the VR cube for the blitz scenes .

Finney took advantage of virtual production (VP) technology for the driving scenes in Crowley’s classic Bentley. The volume was built on their Scottish set: a 4x7m cube with a roof that could go up and down on motorised winches as needed. “We pulled the cars in and out on skates – they went up on little jacks, which you could then rotate and move the car around within the volume,” he explains. “We had two floating screens that we could move around to fill in and use as additional source lighting. Then we had generated plates – either CGI or real location plates –projected 360º around the car. Sometimes we used the volume in-camera but if we needed to do more work downstream; we’d use a green screen frustum.” Universal Pixels collaborated with Finney to supply in-camera VFX expertise, crew and technical equipment for the in-vehicle driving sequences and rear projection for the crucial car shots. 

John Hamm was suspended in the middle of this lighting rig and superimposed into the feather tunnel.

Interestingly, while shooting at a VP stage in Leith, the team also used the volume as a huge, animated light source in its own right – a new technique for Finney. “We had the camera pointing away from [the volume] so the screen provided this massive, IMAX-sized light effect for the actors. We had a simple animation of the expanding universe projected onto the screen so the actors could actually see it, and it gave me the animated light back on the actors.”  

Bringing such esteemed authors’ imaginations to the screen is no small task, but Finney was proud to helped bring Crowley and Aziraphale’s adventures to life once again. He adds: “What’s nice about Good Omens, especially when there’s so much bad news in the world, is that it’s a good news show. It’s a very funny show. It’s also about good and evil, love and doing the right thing, people getting together irrespective of backgrounds. It’s a hopeful message, and I think that that’s what we all need.” 

Finney is no stranger to the idiosyncratic world of Sir Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.

[felassan]

Excerpts from [this] Entertainment Weekly article:

"[Jennifer] Hale believes one of the biggest misconceptions about what they do is the skill required. "The work we do in games — this does not cover performance capture but in voice capture — is 85 to 90 percent cold reading," she says. "The entirety of Mass Effect, I saw no line before the moment I recorded it. It was all cold reading on the spot. A couple takes, maybe a few, and it goes out to market. That's it." She notes that this scenario isn't much different even now. "So voice performers have to be incredibly skilled in the game arena, even more so than in other arenas," Hale continues. "It's extraordinarily demanding." With Mass Effect, one of her more widely recognized projects as the voice of Commander Shepard, Hale remembers a specific experience when she attended the 2010 Spike Video Game Awards (a predecessor to today's Game Awards) as a nominee in the "Best Performance by a Human Female" category. "A voice performer was very much treated like the utensils on the table," she describes. "I really appreciated being invited, but I had an experience where I waited and waited and waited for my category to be announced. I had a 6-month-old at home who I was still nursing. I really was watching the clock. I finally sought out the stage manager toward the end of the show. He goes, 'What's your category?' And I told him the category. He said, 'Oh, we taped that earlier with the winner.' The dismissiveness of it — definitely I felt that.” However, Hale prides herself on the discipline she developed over time to focus less on those moments and more on the wins — and there have been clear wins in changing the perception around the acting part of the craft, something she has seen happen more in the past five to seven years." [...] On the same topic, Hale looks back to the evolution of voice acting between the releases of Mass Effect (2007) and Mass Effect 2 (2010) alone. "In the beginning, the visuals technologically were where they were, and we had to be slightly presentational to push what was happening," she notes. "But as those visuals became so much more hyperrealistic, we could actually drop back and do one of my favorite things. Thought registers on camera. Now we're in the space where we can relax and allow thought to just register on the mic." [...] [UPDATE: Just hours before this article went live, SAG-AFTRA told its members in a memo that the companies' latest proposals contained "alarming loopholes that will leave our members vulnerable to A.I. abuse."] Newbon agrees A.I. is a real problem, but folks like Hale and Goldman aren't so concerned with A.I. replacements. They're confident players are more prone to connect with a character if there's a real performer behind it. Kniebihly agrees. "There's no doubt that the industry is going through a challenging time. Layoffs, budget cuts, and uncertainty have made it clear that nothing is guaranteed — even for successful studios," he says. "To me, what makes this job interesting in the first place is that weird, intangible chemistry between an actor and a director. It's the trust at the core of that relationship that pushes everyone to give the best of themselves and creates more than the sum of its parts. And I'm not going to get that from A.I. anytime soon.""

[source]

[doyoulikethis-videogame-song]

GENERAL RULES & GUIDELINES

If this post doesn't answer your questions, try the Specific Guidelines or FAQ!

Fundamentals for Submissions:

You MUST submit the name and origin of the song.

You MUST use the provided google form for submissions. Any songs requested in the ask box or messages will be deleted/ignored.

You MAY submit the artist and/or a link to the song. This is not required, but is very helpful.

Clarifications for your Submissions:

For the sake of allowing as many individuals as possible to submit songs, only one song per person is allowed per submission period. A submission period lasts about three months and includes three submission dates (the 1st of each month during the period). If you submission is removed for any reason, it will be made publicly available here under 'Submission Form Deletions' and you will be able to resubmit at a later date during the submission period. Submissions under this category should not be resubmitted because they are already in the queue.

Please indicate the source/year of the game in the ‘notes’ tab of the form if your game has a remake/remaster and you would like to submit a specific version (i.e, specify if you’re submitting Snow in Summer from NieR (2010) or NieR:Replicant (2021)). This is not required, but obviously very helpful.

Please indicate the version of the song if the song has multiple versions within the same game (i.e if you’re submitting Song of the Ancients from NieR (2010), specify if it is the Popola, Devola, Hollow Dreams, or Fate version). This is also not required, but is also obviously very helpful.

The song MUST be officially released in some capacity, whether that is from the composer, studio, developers, company, etc. NO LEAKS WILL BE ACCEPTED. Official releases can include prereleases, early access, album teasers, etc. The spirit of this rule is essentially 'only music released to the public with the creative team's consent'.

Songs from anything that could reasonably considered a ‘video game’ will be accepted provided they meet the remaining rules and clarifications. Any console, any release year, visual novels, gacha games, itch.io games, self-hosted games, flash games, mobile apps, are all allowed. If you're still unsure, please look at the specific guidelines.

Songs under 20 seconds will not be accepted (try @dyktvideogamesfx for those ones!)

Songs from live-service games will be accepted on a case-by-case basis, with most approved cases being songs that were featured in an actual form of the gameplay (i.e songs exclusive to advertisements/promotional material may not be accepted). See specific rules for details.

Songs from gacha rhythm games/idol card-collecting games/etc will be accepted if they are regular BGM or event BGM. Songs from the beatmaps that are not exclusively video game songs will not be accepted (Games included here include but are not limited to: Ensemble Stars, BanG Dream Girls Band Party, Project Sekai, etc). See specific rules for details.

The song should PREFERABLY HAVE AN OFFICIAL TITLE. If it does not, it must be able to be found with a reasonable google search. I may delete your submission if I am unable to find the song (and it will be placed in 'submission form deletions').

Please don't submit songs that are from games less than THREE MONTHS OLD (or are less than three months out from release in a live service game). This is to allow others to avoid potential spoilers. For the 7/1/2025 submission period, this means NO ELDEN RING NIGHTREIGN, NO MARIO KART WORLD, AND NO DELTARUNE!

With that being said, here is the submissions form! (Opens 7/1/2025)

[inapat18]

Pushing the limits of computer animation – The Adventures of Tintin: Secret of the Unicorn

             Our previous articles discussed the trend of realism in computer animation, and how some computer-animated movies, namely Toy Story and Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, chose to radically distinguish themselves from it and revolutionized computer animation twenty years apart. There was still however a certain type of aesthetic to be found in realistic 2010s computer-animated movies. Thus, while major animation studios were perfecting their techniques, directors of live-action movies took hold of these tools to try to translate their vision.     

             The 2011 animated movie The Adventures of Tintin: Secret of the Unicorn is a very interesting case to study in this respect. It is indeed one of the best examples of trying to close the gap between live-action and animation.

             Adapting Tintin’s adventures on the big screen has always proved tricky, because Hergé’s style – called in French la ligne claire, which translates to "clear line" – is difficult to translate to cinema and especially in live-action. Finding actors to play those emblematic characters or transliterating visual gags is a perilous operation. Nevertheless, Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson decided in the 2000s to rise up to the challenge. Both directors are VFX enthusiasts and they decided to use a hybrid technique: performance capture.

             This 1990s technique came from the video game first. It involves picking up actors’ expressions and movements thanks to suits and sensors to translate it best to 3D animation. Video games such as Prince of Persia or The Last of Us use it to make their characters look the most realistic way possible. Peter Jackson knows performance capture very well, since he used it himself to create Gollum in Lord of the Rings. With this technique, directors reasoned they did not have to find actors whose primary appeal was their resemblance to the original comics’ characters anymore.

             Other criteria were prioritized: the way they move or emote, or their voices. Directors could hire anyone they wanted and then make the magic happen through VFX. Hence why, for Secret of the Unicorn, performance capture imposed itself as the perfect compromise between pure computer animation and a live-action movie. It gives the movie a peculiar look: it is easy to recognize that it is not only computer animation, but it is difficult to pinpoint exactly what is different from the usual movies.

             This might be why the experience was not very successful: Hergé’s aficionados did not get their bearings and the general public sometimes found the movie visually weird – flirting with the uncanny valley. Performance capture pushes the limits of what we consider realistic and it can make the viewers uncomfortable. But it also created a debate in the industry: can performance capture be considered as animation? The movie’s animators explained that performance capture was just a tool they used to keep the actors’ facial expressions but looking at it, it is hard to decipher what is animation and what is performance capture. As a result, if performance capture seemed to be the best choice on paper, the results were flawed. The movie did not bring forth a new animation era, and performance capture is still used parsimoniously in VFX techniques. But who knows? In the future, it may very well be a tool to innovate computer animation.

EL

[miloscat]

[Review] Super Monkey Ball: Sakura Edition (iOS)

Soon to be lost media.

In 2017, Sega began Sega Forever, an initiative to release their retro games on modern mobile platforms. This included lots of Mega Drive games, Crazy Taxi, and even games made earlier for mobile that had been delisted like Sonic 4 Episode 2, or Super Monkey Ball 2: Sakura Edition (more on the name in a minute). The project quickly ran out of steam and now it seems that Forever was itself a total misnomer, as these games (and other Sega mobile titles) are being delisted themselves.

The silver lining to this blow against preservation is that Sega is pulling a Good Guy move and making all these games free before removing them (and apparently stripping the ads from the ad-supported ones). This is how I came to play this semi-unique Monkey Ball title.

This is actually the third Monkey Ball release on iOS. In 2008 Other Ocean, a Canadian studio newly independent from Backbone/Foundation 9, made for Sega the unimaginatively titled Super Monkey Ball, a tilt-controlled take with content based on the Wii launch title Banana Blitz, although as far as I can tell the levels are newly designed. The follow-up SMB2 was more of the same taking from the five worlds not already adapted in the previous iOS title. SMB2 Sakura Edition followed shortly after, a refined rerelease with an extra world based on the newer Wii title Step & Roll—Far East—with a traditional Japanese theme complete with copious sakura.

Now hopefully the name makes sense. Since this game was originally released in 2010, it looks dated with low-poly geometry and character models. I actually like the charm of this kind of graphics though, the simplistic menus and such, and the flat vibrancy is a timeless look.

Being completely tilt-controlled in gameplay is a bit rough depending on the mass of your device. My old light iPad worked ok, except that tilting can uncomfortably shift your viewing angle, reflections, etc. I even triggered a 180 degree rotation at one point when I was trying to zoom!

The level designs are a bit gentler than typical Monkey Ball courses from what I can tell, to accomodate this less precise control scheme. It wasn’t until late in the bonus Sakura world that I really started getting grief from the game, and I never had a game over situation thankfully.

The world themes are visually nice, and each has two sets of ten levels plus a single Sakura set, for a total of 110. But there’s no story, no framing, no point; my favourite Super Monkey Ball Adventure’s ambition not to be repeated here at least. The character roster is merely the core four, not even a YanYan to be seen despite being established in the game this one is drawing from. There are some Monkey Party minigames at least, with Target, Bowling, and Golf offering a momentary diversion. But hey, for free it’s a pretty good deal as long as you get it before it’s gone!!

[mariacallous]

There’s a coincidental yet meaningful connection between two of this summer’s buzziest movies. The new Lilo & Stitch and How to Train Your Dragon are both remakes; beyond that, they’re both live-action adaptations of animated films—each of which happened to have been co-directed by Dean DeBlois and Chris Sanders. Lilo & Stitch has made a fortune at the box office since its late-May debut; How to Train Your Dragon, which opens today,seems similarly poised for success. The two features are, if a little lacking in visual stimulation compared with their forebears, reliably entertaining. But taken together, they signal something rather alarming in Hollywood’s ongoing crisis of imagination: The timeline for nostalgia is growing shorter.

Since Tim Burton’s big-budget take on Alice in Wonderland grossed more than $1 billion in 2010, the live-action remake has become an inevitable, pervasive cinematic trend. Fifteen years later, it seems that capturing similar financial success requires a studio to look at progressively more recent source material to work with. Disney’s attempt to update the nearly 90-year-old Snow White failed at the box office earlier this year; the company shuffled efforts such as a new Pinocchioand Peter Pan off to streaming, despite the recognizable directors and casts involved. The muted response to these modern takes on decades-old classics perhaps explains the move toward reviving properties that resonate with much younger generations instead. The original Lilo & Stitch is 23 years old; How to Train Your Dragon, produced by DreamWorks Animation,is only 15. Next year, a remake of Moana will hit theaters less than a decade after the original film’s release. Is that even enough time to start feeling wistful about it?

Clearly, the answer is yes, given how audiences have flocked to similar adaptations. The sentimental fervor around franchises such as How to Train Your Dragon is particularly unsettling to me, because the first entry premiered when I was fully an adult; the DreamWorks canon (which also includes such films as Shrekand Kung Fu Panda) was established when I was past the ideal age to become invested. However, I’ve seen How to Train Your Dragon many times because my daughter is a fan; that intense familiarity helped me out as I watched the live-action version, looking for anything that might feel different about it—which would thus justify its creation.

Not so much. DeBlois, who also directed the two How to Train Your Dragon sequels, makes his live-action debut by adapting his own feature; as such, the end result is wildly similar to the earlier work. The new film is again set in a Viking village that is constantly besieged by different kinds of dragons. The plucky teen son of the chief, a boy named Hiccup (played by Mason Thames), befriends a sleek black dragon named Toothless and learns that fighting the beasts isn’t the only answer. The actor who voiced Hiccup’s father in the animated film, Gerard Butler, returns to perform the role on-screen; in all other cases, the film uses well-suited performers to replace the voice cast.

To my own surprise, I liked the new version of How to Train Your Dragon about as much as I do its ancestor. Both, to me, are above-average bits of children’s entertainment that struggle with the same problems: They start to sag near the end and suffer a little from their murky color palette. I got a little choked up at the exact same point that I do while watching the 2010 Dragon, when Hiccup and Toothless take to the sky together; the boy rides on a saddle he’s made for his fire-breathing pal, and the composer John Powell’s excellent score soars into inspirational mode, all strings and bagpipes.

If there’s a difference between these redone scenes and their inspirations, it’s a remarkably minor one; only good theater decorum stopped me from pulling out my phone and running the two Dragons side by side. Hollywood is struggling to get people to buy movie tickets, so I understand the impulse to offer something that a broad swath of viewers already knows and likes. But there’s simply no sense of risk in making something like How to Train Your Dragon—nothing that will convince said theatergoers that the medium has a future beyond recycling. Yes, visual-effects technology is up to the task of re-creating a cartoon on a larger scale and dotted with real actors, and yes, these redos tend to turn a profit for their makers. These shouldn’t be the only reasons for art to exist.

Lilo & Stitch, at least, diverges somewhat from its source material. Because most of the characters are human beings, its world seems easier to translate to one composed of flesh and blood. The film, like How to Train Your Dragon, is about a shiftless youngster (Lilo, a Hawaiian girl who has been acting out since the death of her parents) bonding with a fantasy creature (Stitch, a blue alien experiment designed as a weapon of destruction). The director Dean Fleischer Camp’s tweaks for his rendition didn’t particularly click for me, however. One amusing character (another alien who is searching for Stitch) is absent entirely, and the revised ending has prompted some pushback, though Fleischer Camp has tried to defend it.

In theory, I should be pro-change, given that I found the carbon-copy nature of How to Train Your Dragon so irksome—except that Lilo & Stitch doesn’t really commit to its big alterations. The animated versions of Lilo and her older sister, Nani, forge a closer connection after meeting Stitch and his extraterrestrial hunters; the live-action Lilo enters the care of family friends at the end of the film, so that Nani can go off to study in California. These adjustments to the girls’ relationship are a bit bold, because the prior film is so emotionally focused on their frayed sisterhood, yet the remake quickly undercuts their separation with the revelation that Nani can just visit Lilo anytime she wants, thanks to some space technology that Nani has borrowed.

Such a cop-out is the underlying, depressing reality with all of these remakes: No change can be too daring, no update too significant. It’s heartening that Sanders, a co-director of the original Dragon and Stitch, is one of the few people working in animation who’s still committed to innovation. Last year, he directed The Wild Robot; much like How to Train Your Dragon, itis an adaptation of a children’s book upon which Sanders found an exciting visual spin. The movie was a critical success, a box-office hit, and an Academy Award nominee. Cinema needs more entries like The Wild Robot—novel works that take chances and trust the audience to follow along. If nothing else, they provide fodder for more live-action remakes in the near future. Hollywood can’t have these nostalgic adaptations without something to redo in the first place.

[gaymer-hag-stan]

Happy 16th anniversary to 2NE1!

2NE1 is a groundbreaking girl group, widely recognized for revolutionizing the image of K-pop girl groups with their fierce, edgy concept, genre-defying music, and powerful individuality. Their name stands for "New Evolution of the 21st Century." Unlike many of their contemporaries who leaned heavily into the cute or glamorous archetypes, 2NE1 brought something entirely new to the K-pop scene—swagger, street fashion, and unapologetic strength.

The group consists of four distinct and talented members. CL, the leader, is known for her commanding stage presence, charisma, and versatility. She quickly became the face of the group and later established a successful solo career. Bom, the main vocalist, stands out with her unique vocal tone and emotional delivery, which adds depth and power to the group’s ballads and pop songs. Dara, the visual and face of the group, had a massive fanbase in the Philippines prior to her debut in Korea, bringing international appeal and a quirky, charming personality. Minzy, the youngest member, is a dance prodigy with strong vocals and rap skills, praised for her mature stage presence from an early age.

2NE1 debuted with the single "Fire," instantly gaining attention with a bold, urban sound and a fashion-forward aesthetic. Their follow-up single, "I Don’t Care," became a national hit and showcased their versatility with a softer, reggae-inspired style. These tracks helped establish them not just as idols, but as trendsetters in both music and fashion. At a time when the K-pop girl group formula leaned heavily on sweetness or sex appeal, 2NE1 brought a powerful, confident, and often rebellious energy that appealed to a broader and more diverse audience.

Musically, 2NE1 are genre chameleons, known for fusing hip-hop, electronic, reggae, R&B, and pop, often with experimental flair. Their songs frequently convey themes of female empowerment, independence, and emotional complexity. Coupled with strong vocals, aggressive style, and visually intense music videos, 2NE1 created a unique identity that broke away from the industry's norms and left a lasting impression on both fans and fellow artists.

Some of their most iconic songs include "Fire", a fierce debut track; "I Don’t Care", a laid-back but empowering breakup anthem; "Go Away" (2010), a pop-rock fueled song with emotional punch; and "Can’t Nobody" (2010), known for its high energy and dynamic choreography. "Lonely" (2011) showed a softer, more melancholic side with acoustic backing, while "I Am The Best" (2011) became their signature global hit, defining their image with its brash confidence and infectious beat. In 2014, they released "Come Back Home," a genre-blending track mixing reggae and trap, cementing their reputation for innovation.

Their major albums included To Anyone (2010), their debut studio album packed with hits, and Crush (2014), which received critical acclaim and was lauded as one of the best K-pop albums of all time. Crush also made history by debuting at #61 on the US Billboard 200, the highest charting at the time for any K-pop girl group.

Internationally, 2NE1 are trailblazers. They were among the first K-pop girl groups to gain substantial attention outside of Asia, appearing in fashion events, Western media, and collaborating with global artists. CL in particular was praised in international outlets for her boundary-pushing style and was later managed by Scooter Braun in her solo endeavors. The group’s influence can be seen in many of today’s top K-pop girl groups, such as BLACKPINK, (G)I-DLE, and ITZY, who carry on their legacy of fierce femininity and musical versatility.

Their impact on the K-pop industry is massive and lasting. They redefined what a girl group could be, inspiring a new generation of artists to embrace strength, individuality, and genre diversity. Their legacy continues to resonate through the music, fashion, and artistic expression of modern K-pop.

[garadinervi]

From: Irma Blank, On Line, P420, Bologna, 2014, Printed on Gmund Color 49 paper, Edition of 210 copies, 200 signed and numbered, and 10 signed and numbered from I to X, each with an original intervention by the artist [Art: © Irma Blank. Edition: © P420, Bologna]

Edited by: P420, Bologna Graphic Design: Studio Filippo Nostri

[theartofpixar]

[manic-maniac-man]

HUgE Oct 2012

PHOTO SESSION with HYSTERIC GLAMOUR

Jack White

&

HYSTERIC D.C. goes to NASHVILLE for JACK WHITE.

Thee Hysteric XXX Shirt "reference item, Trygod for HYSTERIC GLAMOUR Ring ¥79,800 (HYSTERIC GLAMOUR)

Thee Hysteric XXX Cardigan ¥37,800, Slacks ¥33,600, Shirt

reference item (HYSTERIC GLAMOUR)

Thee Hysteric XXX Jacket ¥60,900, Slacks ¥33,600, Shirt *reference item (HYSTERIC GLAMOUR)

Thee Hysteric XXX Blouson ¥102,900, Slacks ¥33,600, Shirt *reference item (HYSTERIC GLAMOUR)

The seasonal catalogue for HYSTERIC GLAMOUR began in the spring of 2007. This series, which was derived from campaign visuals, continues to be recorded as a photo book every season. The director, Nobuhiko Kitamura, selected photographer WATARU and stylist Tsuyoshi Noguchi as the photography staff. The first season began in Coney Island, New York, and the photography crew later became demo shoots. After that, the setting for the shoot shifted to rock city Detroit, the birthplace of Iggy & the Stooges and MC5, whom Kitamura has admired since childhood. After meeting Niagara, the frontman of Destroy All Monsters, Jim Shaw, a Detroit rock mastermind who actively introduced the then unknown Goreys and White Stripes, supported Kitamura's photography and deepened his bonds with the people he met in Detroit with each shoot. Kitamura refers to this series of events as "HYSTERIC D.C. (DETROIT CONNECTION)."

With each passing season, the film crew becomes more and more united, holding sessions with the models and local artists they meet in each location. It is no exaggeration to say that the vivid visuals born from recording the atmosphere on location, as if cutting out a fragment of their own travels, have shaped the visuals of HYSTERIC GLAMOUR for the past five years.

This May, the brand chose New York, New Orleans, and Nashville as the locations for its seventh visual shoot. Starting with a shoot for the kids' line in New Jersey, a suburb of New York, the brand went on to a photoshoot for the women's line in New Orleans with top Texas model Ashley Smith and her three daughters, Camille and Zuzana.

With "OY" still in the background, the film crew headed to Nashville, where he currently resides, to meet Jack White.

In 2010, when Jack White came to Japan for a Dead Weather concert, he was introduced to Jack by his friend Alison Mosshart (who is a member of The Kills and is also a member of The Dead Weather, and whose mother is from Detroit and will soon be moving from London to Nashville), and Kitamura and photographer WATARU met Jack for the first time during an interview for HUGE issue 70. When they showed Jack, who is from Detroit, several seasonal catalogs that they had photographed in Detroit, they began talking about the elementary school he attended and the familiar diner that his family used to go to, which were in the background of the photos, and they hit it off despite it being their first meeting. The night after the concert, all the members hung out at the bar "Red Shoes" in Aoyama.

With this background, and with the help of Jack's nephew, Ben Blackwell, also from Detroit, the photo session introduced in this issue of HUGE was made possible in the studio of "Third Man Records," the independent label founded by Jack and run by Ben.

Just before noon on June 4th, the film crew departed by car from a hotel in Nashville. They arrived at Third Man Records, passing Hume-Fogg High School, the same school attended by Bettie Page, Kitamura's favorite and one of the icons of Hysteric Glamour. At the factory-like building's entrance is a small goods shop run by the label. We pass through a store packed with vinyl records released by Third Man Records and original turntables, and are shown to an office in the back yard. The spacious, high-ceilinged space has black-painted ceilings and walls, a kitchen with checkered tiles like a 50s diner, heavy leather sofas, and an array of stuffed animal specimens and bones.

*Looking down at downtown Nashville from the slope in front of Third Man Records. A recording studio is under construction in the building next to the studio, and you can sense Jack's determination to settle down and live here.

The drawing space where Jack exudes a strong presence and the staff workspace are neatly laid out. It's a shame that we can't show you anything here because photography is not allowed in the office, but in the center of the room is a vintage turntable and a giant speaker. Behind the scenes of using all vintage equipment to create his own music and producing his own records and turntables, you can feel Jack's strong will towards music, projecting the music and culture of the good old days of America onto himself.

At the back of the space, there is a fully equipped blue horizon studio and stage. This is the same place where the photo shoot for the record jacket released by Third Man Records was held.

There was a tense atmosphere while the crew waited for Jack to arrive at the studio. However, the female staff at Third Man Records were all very welcoming and made the atmosphere relaxed despite the tension.

At 1pm, Jack finally appears in the studio! After finishing his hair, makeup and styling, the photo session begins. Jack casually picks up his blue horizontal and his favorite acoustic guitar and begins to sing. His assistant Mindy drops the needle on the record for his solo album "Blunderbuss" on the DJ set placed on the stage inside the studio. Jack unconsciously begins to play the guitar along with the intro to "Missing Pieces." The only sounds echoing in the studio are his guitar, his singing voice and the click of photographer WATARU's camera. After shooting there for about an hour, WATARU asks Jack if they could take photos while walking around the neighborhood near the studio. Jack gladly agrees, and the film crew continue shooting as they stagger up the slope in front of the studio. Then, During the shoot, groupie girls waiting for Jack outside the label tried to take pictures of him with their cell phones, but Mindy quickly and smartly took care of them. Even in such small details, you can feel the stoic attitude that is consistent with Third Man Records' consistent sound and worldview. The peaceful atmosphere on set between Jack and the label staff, and the film crew also blended in with the atmosphere, and before you know it, three hours had passed and everything was finished.

After New York and New Orleans, the group finished their filming trip in Nashville. As they were shooting with Jack, who had just returned from a live tour and was extremely busy, the next day, which was meant to be a backup day for his shoot, was a brief day off. On the night of the shoot, they went to see a live performance by Ghost Wolves, a band from Austin, Texas, with Ben and the others at a local live house called "THE BASEMENT". The next day, Ben invited the filming staff to his home, and they relaxed in his garden under clear skies. Finally, Ben's wife Melissa took us to the bar "FAN'S EAST SIDE". The worn-out one-story store, located right next to the tracks where long-distance trains run, is decorated with paper decorations and neon beer signs, and local customers are relaxing while working on the jukebox and playing billiards. Ben and the others joined them after finishing work. In the store, where the setting sun shines in, the people who helped with the shoot are intoxicated with the music on the jukebox and the drinks. The film crew concluded their trip to Nashville in this place that could be described as a picture-perfect example of Nashville's pristine scenery.

Nashville is a city where music is always resonating somewhere, day or night, transcending races such as black or white, and genres such as country and rock. By interacting with people who are immersed in music and Tennessee whiskey and who live their lives in a localized way, Jack has come to live a life that is more intimately connected to music.

Perhaps we could sense at least a little of his feelings of choosing Nashville as the place to meet. Nashville is a city loved by many musicians such as Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash, and is a mecca for music culture in America. After multiple shooting tours with people connected by the common language of "Detroit," Kitamura was able to meet Jack White, who lives here today, and this must have completed "HYSTERIC D.C." for him as a culmination. Hysteric Glamour will be celebrating its 30th anniversary in 2014. What is the vision that this brand has for the future? We can't help but look forward to the future.

The day after the shoot with Jack, my nephew Ben

Film crew relaxing in their garden

[ordinaryschmuck]

Salutations, random people on the internet who are already breezing past this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

You know…There was a time when you asked someone what their favorite animated show was, odds are that Steven Universe would be in their top three, at LEAST. And for the longest time, it was for a good reason. The show was charming as heck with beautiful visuals, an amazing soundtrack, some well-written characters, and GROUNDBREAKING LGBTQIA+ representation that, whether you like it or not, is the reason we have openly gay characters in shows like The Owl House and Dead End: Paranormal Park (RIP due to executive meddling). In a lot of ways, Steven Universe sparked a lot of fans’ interest in serialized animation, with a few animated shows owing their influence and intrigue to this one. And then…something happened.

Suddenly–And I really do mean SUDDENLY–Steven Universe went from the number one show to PRAISE to the number one show for several people on the internet to take a whopping hot shit on. There were critical blogs, video breakdowns, and even a two in a half hour review detailing why the show  was absolute GARBAGE (Don’t watch that video, it’s made by a pedophile). To this day, I genuinely DON’T KNOW what happened. Was it because the show wasn’t that good and didn’t deserve its praise anymore? Or was it a case that people didn’t like something for being popular like die hard fans have been claiming for years? I don’t know, but it really does feel like someone flipped a switch in a lot of people’s brains. A switch that told people it’s okay to dunk on a show that, really, was never THAT bad. Even at its worst, to this day, there’s nothing in Steven Universe that’s as bad as some of the bottom of the barrel cartoons that are far more annoying and MUCH more insulting. 

Thankfully, it seems like most of the internet seems to agree nowadays. Most of those who criticized the show, day in and day out, started to move on after it ended and even eased up on their thoughts towards it, realizing they had better things to do with their life than call Rebecca Sugar a fraud. Even more spectacularly, those who heard the show was garbage checked it out in mild curiosity, only to be surprised by how good Steven Universe turned out to be and started defending it a lot more. The show actually gained a bit of a resurgence not too long ago, with a lot of people agreeing that this period of absolute HATRED that Steven Universe got was nothing more than…a bit of an overreaction. The show had its problems, but it was never anything that severe. It was an interesting phenomenon that made ME want to revisit the series again. Yes, it was number eight of my Top 20 of the 2010s…but that list is now so outdated that Craig of the Creek and Hilda would have pushed out a few that were, admittedly, placeholders (Don’t ask me to redo that list, I don’t want to). Perhaps my thoughts and perspective towards the show has changed, and it’s why, for the next few weeks (Or months or WHATEVER), I will now rank…

Steven Universe from Worst to Best (Season One)

Yup…This is happening. And yes, I’m sticking to season one just for THIS review. The show is just too gosh dang long due to its ten minute runtime of each episode, and the series boxset (Which I bought for this review series) says that Season One is fifty-two episodes MINIMUM. I’m going to have to break things up season by season, talking about how I feel about each episode, and maybe do a full ranking of the entire series with my CONDENSED thoughts.

Oh, and also? I’m sticking with what the BOXSET tells me counts as a season. I know that the creators, fans, and the studio have conflicting opinions of what was meant to be in Season One, Two, Three and whatever, but I don’t care. The boxset is law for this whole thing, so stick with me on this. In any case, we have over a hundred and sixty episodes to go through, and only fifty two to talk about (Gosh dang it, we’re going to be here for a while…). So, no more dilly-dallying! Let’s get this beast of a ranking started by talking about Steven Universe’s first seasons, its highs, lows, and everything in between. Will it be worth it? At this point…Hopefully.

Over a decade old spoilers below…

52. Keep Beach City Weird–Surprising no one, Ronaldo’s episode is the worst one.

Ronaldo is considered the worst character for a reason. Not to say he DOESN’T work. He’s fine in a quick bit or if the punchline is…his suffering, but he’s often at his absolute WORST when he overstays his welcome. Especially when he becomes the center of an episode. “Keep Beach City Weird” shows you exactly why. 

Ronaldo is just so charmless, with a voice that’s outrageously annoying and a goal that’s so unsympathetic. He clings to conspiracy theories because they give him a sense of purpose, which is NOT the right thing to let someone do. It genuinely boggles the mind that the lesson of the week is that we should let the conspiracy nuts STAY nutty because it’s what keeps them happy. Especially since Ronaldo proves that such a thing could lead to himself getting hurt and OTHERS getting hurt. Because he thought he was the center of the universe, he knocked Steven out with a potato and caused his little brother to break down in tears after dragging him down into the madness with him. And because of it, the Crystal Gems beat the tar out of Ronaldo because the dumbass KIDNAPPED THEIR SON! I don’t care if conspiracies are what makes him happy, Ronaldo’s clearly a danger to himself and others. All in a way that’s not even funny, like you could almost laugh at how pathetic he is. It’s just…sad.

Go ahead and expect Ronaldo episodes to often be at the bottom of these lists. In fact, let THAT be a testament to how bad an episode really is. If it’s somehow WORSE than a Ronaldo episode, then it’s truly not good. All of them are almost exactly like this one, where some are actually WORSE, if you could believe it. They drag, it feels like the plot comes to a complete HALT, and they’re NOT funny…Well, okay, there’s ONE good bit where Ronaldo accidentally predicts who the Gems really are, but that’s ONE joke that’s better in hindsight than in the moment. Not giving him that much credit.

51. Island Adventure–Oh, boy, we’re really getting into some…shit here.

I want to make it clear, I don’t mind Sadie and Lars. Much like Ronaldo, they’re characters that CAN work, and often work best in a quick bit or short scene instead of the focus of an entire episode, with Lars being the Squidward to Steven’s Spongebob and Sadie being this sort of pal that hangs out with Steven but still recognizes him as a kid. In fact, I actually like Sadie and will go into WHY later…But BOY did this episode almost made me absolutely DISLIKE her.

Sadie WILLINGLY trapped her crush and a CHILD on an island where they had nothing to eat but masked fish and no cell service to at least CALL anyone for DAYS…Yeah, I hate to say it, but Lars’ frustration is completely justified. Sadie is very much in the wrong in this entire episode, and has the GULL to be mad at Lars because he made the claim that this was all an act to come onto him. A fact that FEELS accurate given how she seemed to enjoy Lars getting all snuggly with her and almost told him to put off work for the day so they could make out some more. If it was JUST for a day, I could give some leeway to this as it’s just Sadie giving Lars a push outside of his comfort zone. But even then, it’s still trapping a guy–AND CHILD–to be FORCED into hanging out with you. And while I may hate Lars more than I like Sadie, I have to admit that she messed up BIG time here.

The only praise I can give the episode is that “Be Wherever You Are” is a genuinely nice song that I don’t mind listening to. Thankfully it’s good enough to disconnect with the rest of the episode because the upbeat melody doesn’t really fit with the reveal of what REALLY trapped them there. Because what Sadie did, it severely ruined how I saw her. Even when she’s acting nice, reasonable, and getting her life together, my mind can’t help but go back to this episode. And don’t say this is an overreaction. If the genders were reversed, you’d still feel the same way. It killed most of my engagement with Sadie and REALLY made me stop caring about her relationship with Lars.

50. Secret Team–The concept is nice…at first. Amethyst and Pearl don’t want to be caught doing something stupid by Garnet, and want to cover up their whole mistake so it’ll look like it never happened. It’s a basic sitcom setup but with the Crystal Gems, and that’s not necessarily a bad idea. There’s just one thing that hurts the entire episode: Steven.

Steven’s antics are insanely charming at best and unbearably annoying at worst, primarily in Season One. Future seasons improve on his childish nature (Mostly by putting him through the frickin’ wringer), but this one really is one of the worst examples of Steven’s childishness. Amethyst and Pearl Stopping Steven from telling Garnet by talking about how COOL a secret team would be is honestly perfect. It’s like two older siblings getting the youngest to keep quiet so they don’t tell Mom, and that part I don’t mind. But Steven trying to FORCE the Secret Team to be a thing, with the fake ID cards and a dumb second mission after their first one is finished, makes this episode particularly less fun. It really should have been about trying to find the missing gem shards and ONLY about doing that. It’s like the writers learned too late that the initial concept couldn’t fit that ten minutes so they just…padded things out to an excessive degree. Because the “Secret Team” trying to cover up their mistake and Garnet getting back at them for their dishonesty is a great way to execute this type of plot. A bit cliche, sure, but sometimes the cliches work for a reason. More than that, they’re highly acceptable in a CHILDREN’S cartoon, where the kiddos aren’t well in-versed with them nor tired of them. You don’t really NEED to subvert every cliche, even though this episode REALLY wants to.

“Secret Team” tries to ask, “What if the people who try to hide their mistake got away with it early?” Or, “What if it’s not about how honesty is the best policy? What if it’s about how a team shouldn’t be divided and how they should all work as one?” It’s all unnecessarily dressing up what SHOULD be a simple concept and should remain as such. It’s part of a bigger problem with Steven Universe where the show can SOMETIMES take itself a little TOO seriously. It’s not often, not in the earlier seasons, but it definitely happens. Even here, where Pearl and Amethyst end the team or Garnet’s big speech at the end, it feels like the episode is TRYING to be about something big and dramatic. When, in the end, it makes “Secret Team” feel stretched out, awkward, and forced. Definitely the weakest Crystal Gems episode, because even a RONALDO episode is more entertaining than this. THAT’S BAD!

49. Horror Club–I gotta give this episode credit: It’s the CLOSEST this show has come to endearing me to Ronaldo. They were SOOOOOO close to figuring out HOW he could work. The episode actually starts out really well for him, showing that he’s just a goofy, eccentric guy that’s excited to share something he enjoys with other people. Only to shrink when someone crude like Lars makes him feel stupid for enjoying this thing. I feel like a LOT of people can relate to something like that. It’s actually kind of fascinating that this series ALMOST realized what COULD make Ronaldo work…making it all the more frustrating that the show just IGNORES it, even in this episode!

Despite coming close to being a better character, Ronaldo STILL managed to bring out his worst side BY THROWING LARS INTO THE LITERAL MOUTH OF THE BEAST! His paranoia shined through too much, pointing fingers almost immediately with Lars almost DYING because of it. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t like Lars much either, especially in this episode. His constant rude comments and refusal to show any GENUINE emotion was too infuriating to bear, but that doesn’t mean I want him to DIE. Just get kicked in the nuts by a steel-toe boot…I’m not a MONSTER. I don’t wish death upon characters just because I don’t care much for them.

Speaking of caring, THAT’S the main reason why “Horror Club” falls apart. It’s asking you to care about Lars and Ronaldo’s relationship. More than that, it hinges on you caring about Lars and Ronaldo making a relationship with SADIE. And considering how the worst two episodes of the season killed any care I’ve had for ANY of these characters or their messy love lives, I think it’s safe to say they didn’t do a good job. Because, yeah, I WANT to give a crap during that scene that shows Lars and Ronaldo’s backstory, mainly because it IS well-written and decently acted. It’s only a shame that it’s connected to LARS and RONALDO, characters that just don’t do much for me or the fandom. I admire the EFFORT this episode is doing, really. It’s the closest I’ve ever came to caring about the worst character in the show and has some OCCASIONALLY good moments. It’s just held back by the worst characters still being the worst.

48. Fusion Cuisine–I am as shocked as you are that this is so low on the list. I usually like Connie-focussed episodes and it’s worth mentioning that this one is at least TRYING to do something great. It even succeeds in some cases. Like, I love how this episode gives Connie and Steven’s first real test in their relationship. They’ve been friends for a while and are now confronting the idea of her…Not really being ashamed of Steven and the life he has. She’s just scared of how her parents will react to him, which is BEYOND justified. Look at the insanity he deals with. So the conflict that they have is good…but everything else about this episode is a MESS.

A part of me wants to laugh that they revealed Alexandrite through a mundane circumstance, but the idea doesn’t WORK here. The goal of the dinner is to make Steven look like he has a NORMAL family, and that goes out the window when this GIANT of a woman stomps over to the dinner table. Nothing about this seems normal, and what’s even worse is how they force it. They go down the list of reasons why Steven can’t just choose ONE of the Crystal Gems to come, with Garnet not being talkative, Amethyst being too gross, and Pearl just…not liking the thought of eating in general. And, honestly, there’s easy explanations for ALL of this. Say Garnet’s not a talkative person in general, tell them that Amethyst is where Steven gets his free spirit, or have Pearl say she’s not hungry or dieting. There’s plenty of excuses they could give, but the episode ignores all of it so we can get Alexandrite, who shows off most of the worst quirks Steven was afraid of anyway. She doesn’t talk much, she stuffed her face grossly, and didn’t want to eat because Pearl hated it. And seeing this constant car crash throughout the dinner is what hurts the best part of the episode: Its CONFLICT.

As good as it is seeing Steven and Connie go through their first real hurdle as…whatever they were at this point, it’s all pretty much brushed aside for the sitcom cliche. Yes, I know I said that sometimes it’s best to go along with the cliche every now and then, but when the episode has something ACTUALLY interesting to bring up, it becomes frustrating that it’s not really…followed through on. They talk, Steven is the one to bring up the issue, Connie denies it a minute later, and then they suddenly decide to run away together to become apple farmers. That’s a lot of things done in too short an amount of time, making this part of the episode feel rushed while everything else feels clunky and awkward. There’s a REALLY good story here, it’s just not focussed enough on.

47. Joking Victim–You want to know what really makes me dislike “Island Adventure” more? The fact that it took away the endearment I had with THIS episode.

I genuinely felt bad for Sadie. This JERK, who she CLEARLY had a crush on, had ditched her at work to go hang out with cooler (And “prettier”) people. All while Lars looked like he KNEW about Sadie’s crush, using that “Player 2” nickname to sweeten the deal in getting what he wanted. It’s what makes this the episode that made me DESPISE Lars as a character, showing just how much of a real-life manipulator he can be. That’s the thing with fictional characters: You tend to hate the annoying douchebags who you run into in real life as opposed to the fictional, world ending villains. I know I’m NEVER going to run into someone like the Diamonds, but a dickhead like Lars is a dime a dozen. Even his apology felt equally empty to the ones that guys like him say, especially when future episodes prove how little he really changed from this experience. And, like, Sadie didn’t deserve that…yet (Gosh dang “Island Adventure”).

For a while, this was probably Sadie’s best episode. A lot of her greatest qualities were on display, with how she interacted with Steven being where she shined the most. She palled around with him and was exceedingly patient with his antics, understanding that he was just a kid and it’s important to treat him NICELY. She still gets a LITTLE annoyed and has to voice reason, but Sadie still reigns in her anger towards Lars so she doesn’t lash out at Steven for not understanding the situation or carefully explain that she was joking when saying she’d replace Steven with Lars. “Joking Victim” does a good job at showing what makes Sadie so sweet and endearing. It’s ruined nine episodes later, but it was still nice within the moment.

Didn’t like that she ACCEPTED the apology, though. And, yeah, Lars’ future actions and disregardment of Sadie’s presence makes me hate it MORE. Separately, this episode isn’t TOO bad, at least with Sadie and Steven. But knowing what the series will do LATER, not just in this season, hurts it a lot. That’s just the downside of a show like this. Episodes tend to feel worse in retrospect.

46. Beach Party–I think this episode shows why the Beach City episodes CAN work, but often DON’T. It’s GOOD that the show wants the audience to care about the denizens of Beach City, with characters like the Pizza family (Yes, that’s their actual name) being relatively charming enough to enjoy watching. Especially Nanefau, who is the REAL gem (Haha) of the series, being a sweet, goofy, and caring old lady who doesn’t let age quell her spirit. There’s even some cute interactions between the Gems and the Pizzas, the volleyball game being especially fun to watch as they all at least TRY to get along. In regards to getting me to like the characters, “Beach Party” isn’t doing too bad of a job. So why does it fail to make me CARE? Simple: The Gems don’t care.

It’s not a good sign that an episode has its main cast shrug off the consequences they might face. Steven cares because, well, he’s Steven. He cares about everyone and there CAN sometimes be potential conflict as he cares for the little guy while the Gems focus more on the bigger picture. Except that better episodes executed this idea much more effectively by making it a DIRECT conflict of interests. When Steven says that they need to make the Pizzas like them, the Gems just go along with it in mostly disinterest, hardly trying because, again, they don’t care. And if the characters don’t care, then why should I? That’s often the question with a lot of Beach City episodes, where the Crystal Gems show their disinterest by dipping out completely or stating that they have no desire to help. It is not great either that they never really change from this mindset. The Gems often call it Steven’s problem to solve and only get involved if something MAGICAL happens, which isn’t OFTEN. I can forgive it if they SLOWLY got better over time, but they really don’t. And because of that, episodes like this, as cute as they try to be, immediately checks me out just as quickly as the Gems do. Still, at least the WRITERS tried.

45. Onion Trade–Much like Ronaldo, Onion is a character that works in VERY specific circumstances. Though, to give him credit, he works SIGNIFICANTLY better as this weird, creepy little fucker whose personality and aura leaves a LOT of questions and not enough answers. When done right, Onion can be a fun character…for bits and small screen time. Just like Ronaldo. Not in entire episodes–You see the pattern here?

This episode in particular is ALMOST fun, especially the final battle. Onion leaving the Crystal Gems powerless with the chaos he brings and them not wanting to hurt a KID IS entertaining. But everything leading UP to that moment just feels like the episode meandering for way too long. Like, there’s an entire scene where Greg spends time looking for a plate in his van, with it going NOWHERE as even HE forgets why he was looking through his stuff. Then there’s Steven following Onion around, and while it IS meant to showcase more of his character and offer a LITTLE bit of reasoning for why he’d steal Steven’s Ranger Guy, it once more feels like padding. The majority of this episode is nothing more than that: Padding. A whole lot of buildup with not the best payoff. I’d admire the effort of trying to make Onion FUN, but this isn’t really his best episode…I do remember “Onion Friend” working great though. Now THAT’S a better episode for Onion. This one? Not so much.

44. Arcade Mania–Now we’re getting more into the fun ones.

There’s not much I can say about “Arcade Mania.” It’s a fun little one-off where Garnet gets addicted to beating her meat (The jokes write themselves) just when the others need her for a real emergency. What I like most is that Steven’s attempt to stop it by trying to beat her at the game fails instantly and he just decides, “Screw it, I’ll smash the thing.” Now THAT’S a decent expectation subversion, and a funny one at that. And…yeah, that’s about it. Like I said, not much to really talk about? It’s not a bad episode, even if it DOES get a little heavy-handed in how it treats the Crystal Gems and their inability to understand human things. Better episodes handle that idea far greater, and that’s the real reason why “Arcade Mania” is so low. Better episodes, even in this season, have more things to offer with the Gem’s misunderstanding of humanity other than masturbation jokes and silliness. It’s not bad, just not better than other stuff.

43. Garnet’s Universe–This one’s cute…Ridiculous, but cute.

There’s something so adorable about the idea of Garnet sitting and letting Steven talk about this entire insane story about what she did today, letting him get it all out of his system. This also shows us how Steven adorably views Garnet, his imagination going wild to fill in the mysteries her character brings forth. While the majority of it is absolute nonsense, “Garnet’s Universe” is one of the few episodes that treat Steven being a child a LOT better. This is clearly the mind of a child at work and, like I said, it’s adorable. And funny too. That bit where Garnet mixed up the names of her animal friends because Steven mixed up their names got a decent chuckle out of me. Just like the last one, there’s not much else I can say other than what I already said. It’s cute, it’s fun, what else do you want from me? Complain about Ronaldo–I mean, Ringo? Come on, I’m not heartless.

42. Steven and the Stevens–This one…took a turn. It started off with some decent time travel shenanigans as Steven gets a taste of his own medicine, dealing with how annoying he can be while getting a group of himself together to form a band. Not too bad…but then it went full tilt into existential dread as the other Stevens disappeared into dust around him, sounding like they were in pain throughout the whole ordeal. All while Steven is forced to watch as some Stevens cling onto him begging for life. Like, yeah, it’s darkly funny, but with Steven Universe Future reminding us that traumatic events like this stuck with him…It makes it kind of hard to laugh at it now. Which is a shame because “I learned to stay true to myself by watching myself die” is a great line, comically speaking, but one that does not age well. I guess I can laugh at the moment, but Steven surely won’t be laughing as he looks back at it.

41. Watermelon Steven–This one’s just funny. Again, what do you want from me? It’s a funny episode with a lot of great bits like Steven’s late reaction to Baby, Ronaldo getting the tar beaten out of him by watermelons, and Amethyst’s whole reaction to being put in the ground. This episode is just chaos in all the right ways, up to the end when Steven eats the precious watermelon that gave its life for a message. Speaking of which, I kind of like that there are future episodes that have the Watermelon Stevens go out and follow their last order to figure out what Baby had done and why. I don’t think we needed an episode in a final season that’s already stretched thin exploring it (I’ll inevitably get to THAT), but I do like it all the same, making “Watermelon Steven” the first part of a trilogy that no one really ASKED for but IS smartly written all the same.

40. So Many Birthdays–Now we’re starting to get into the “It’s okay” territory. And yeah, I’m surprised this one is low too. That ending where Steven’s mature thinking consequently starts aging him up on a fast rate IS the best part of the whole episode. It’s genuinely disturbing watching him die and decay before the Gems eyes, with them being helpless to stop it…It’s also weirdly funny–I know, that’s horrible. But some of the Gem’s reactions and their failed attempts to help weirdly get a chuckle out of me. I mean, Garnet shakes Steven like a ragdoll because she thought “violence was the answer.” I’m sorry, it’s as funny to watch as it is heartbreaking to see The Gems break down as they’re unable to help Steven.

Unfortunately, as great as the ending is, it is held back by some…awkwardness in the first half. It’s necessary to get us that great ending in the first place, but a little repetitive in the Gems proving their too mature for Steven’s birthday traditions and Steven having a midlife crisis at the age of thirteen. It led to a more satisfying payoff, so I’ll give it credit for that, but a good ending to an awkward episode can take you so far.

39. Tiger Millionaire–Silly, but fun. And even a little sweet. We got some good goofs with Steven being a mischievous little scamp as Tiger Millionaire, and some great character work on Amethyst as she uses wrestling as a way to cut loose. Definitely some great bits, with my favorite being the end where Garnet and Pearl allow Amethyst this moment after Steven perfectly explains her plight. And Amethyst, feeling grateful, still apologizes for flipping out on Garnet. It’s an uplifting ending showing how much this group cares about each other despite the bickering and disagreements, with both parties understanding they were in the wrong. Heart and charm went hand in hand with this one, making it a lot of fun to see…Didn’t need that sequel episode though. (We’ll get to that another time).

38. Together Breakfast–This episode isn’t really…ABOUT anything. There’s a shoehorned lesson about Steven dreaming too big, but that doesn’t really connect to anything. As far as I can tell, the episode is just an excuse to show off the Gems’ temple, which I’m not really complaining about. Seeing each Gem’s room shows a lot about their characters, visually speaking. Something as simple as Amethyst’s room being a literal dump does SO MUCH while saying so little. It works well, as do the subtle bits of foreshadowing like Steven feeling a brief sense of calm when sliding in Rose’s room or Garnet using Ruby and Sapphire’s gems to open her door. So while it’s a good episode, it’s held back by it being about…fuckin’ nothing. Definitely don’t hate it, just not in love with it.

37. Coach Steven–This one DOES have a message, but it’s held back by not really focussing on it enough? It’s a typical “True strength isn’t based on physical might” lesson, but it’s pretty much brushed aside as there’s more attention put on Pearl’s fight with Sugilite and the song “Strong in the Real Way.” Sure, the fight’s awesome and the song is beautiful, but the core message is kind of pushed to the side as we focus more on spectacle. That and shenanigans of Steven, Greg, Sadie, and Lars trying to get buff for, like, two days. Thankfully the message can still BE there in the song and fight, but I wish it didn’t FEEL ignored.

36. Frybo–Now we’re starting to get into the GOOD Beach City episodes. Yes, those EXIST, with Frybo always feeling like the best example of a Beach City episode done right. Petey is a pretty sympathetic and charming character, at least to me. You understand his plight immediately, and from the start he gives off this energy as the only person in Beach City with a functioning brain cell. I actually didn’t mind the kid, and I feel bad that he stopped frequently appearing in future seasons. We traded less Petey for more Ronaldo, which is DEFINITELY not fair.

But thoughts on Petey aside, the rest of “Frybo” is pretty…standard. You know where it’s going the second Steven remembers he has a gem shard that can control clothing. Yes, predictability is fine for children’s media and the brief expectation subversion of Steven wearing the costume instead IS cute, but even if you haven’t seen this type of “abusing magic” plotline before, you know where it’s going the second Frybo misunderstood Petey’s “shake on it’ command. Granted, how dark a turn things take DOES make “Frybo” more engaging. The second the ketchup makes it look like he’s bleeding from the eye…that was likely EVERYONE’S first instance of nightmare fuel with this show. But as good as it is, it did feel like we rushed to that ending as we don’t spend enough time with Steven and Petey acting like kids. They go on one ride and Petey realizes he’s too mature for it, which comes with the fault of the show having a ten-minute runtime. Can’t really settle for too long because we only have so little time to work with.

I know it sounds like I’m harping on this episode, but there IS good IN it. Petey’s decent and Frybo’s perfectly creepy, there’s stuff to enjoy. But, you know, it’s not exactly perfect. It’s just a little messy, but not in a way that hinders the whole thing. Not entirely.

35. Lars and the Cool Kids–THIS…should have been the episode that made Lars stop being a piece of shit. We did not need four seasons of him being an unlikable douchebag only to finally care about him in the few seconds before he straight up DIES. Because this episode, otherwise, is near perfect.

It did a great job in showing the contrast between Lars and Steven. Where Lars is too nervous and trying too hard to impress the cool kids, Steven is carefree and effortlessly becomes pals with them. It’s genuinely endearing seeing how Steven easily vibes with these teens, making the difference between him and Lars extra funny as Lars consistently says the wrong things. Because Steven’s a nice kid where Lars is just a tool, and this episode does a great job in calling Lars out on his behavior FAR BETTER than any other. You know why? Because not only does STEVEN call Lars out, all in a well-made scene where he gets offended over Lars talking poorly about Rose, but Lars also gets to do the right thing. No half-baked apologies or needing to be saved. He understands the problem and does his best to help even if Steven has to push him along some of the way. And that moment when he and Steven place their hands on each other’s chests, with Lars genuinely smiling but pulling away because he’s not THAT close yet, that…works. It’s a great moment that shows you Lars IS capable of being a better person even if he’s not all the way there yet…The issue is, again, it took FOUR MORE SEASONS to get there. Not only that, but the show does the exact same thing “Lars and the Cool Kids” did with “Off Color.” The problem is that it’s almost effectively WORSE because it DOES feel like it’s too little too late.

This is another case where future knowledge effectively hurts how I view this episode. Even if you IGNORE future seasons, future episodes in Season ONE still harms the intention behind THIS episode. I genuinely warmed up to the guy here, but…holy hot hell. I get wanting to show that Lars is still a ways away from being a great guy, but you do NOT follow an episode like this up with him manipulating a person crushing on him or being a twat to his old friend. It effectively made me and a lot of members of the fandom hate Lars, despite “Lars and the Cool Kids” doing its best to make me like him. I still admire the effort, I just wish the rest of the show put in more effort too.

34. Political Power–Honestly, this is an effectively light (haha) episode that acts as a precursor to the finale…Which isn’t the finale anymore, according to the boxset.

Regardless of improper episode lineups, I like a lot of what “Political Power” does. It’s meant to be a smaller, more manageable problem to fix before things get intense with the oncoming invasion. Not to say there isn’t any tension, as the townsfolk quickly lose their minds and panic about not having power again. Still, Steven talking down an angry mob is easy compared to fending off Jasper and Peridot, and I like how this easily transitions into the next episode where the Gems intrust him to be a guiding voice to the people of Beach City. This episode makes their decision in the next feel natural and understandable.

But what I love the most is how Steven connects the problem that Mayor Dewey has to the issues the Gems are having. It’s a clever way to allow Steven to understand the bigger issue, even teaching kids that there are reasons why your parents try to brush off a huge problem. It’s all about making sure you’re safe and happy, and I REALLY love that this can also teach parents that sometimes it’s safe to tell kids the truth. Wanting to protect them is admirable, but you’ll be leaving them more worried if you keep them in the dark too long when all they want to know is the truth. “Political Power” executes that theme perfectly…even if it means spending the episode with the charmless Mayor Dewey.

Yeah, your enjoyment of this is highly dependent on how you feel about the mayor. SOMETIMES he’s funny, like trying to bring the ocean back with a garden hose or thinking he has a chance with Pearl, but most times he might as well fade in the background where he belongs. He’s not UNBEARABLY bad like Ronaldo, just…bland. He doesn’t have much going for him and spending a majority of the episode with the guy ain’t exactly my cup of tea. Everything else is great, but he is NOT.

33. Joy Ride–The episode that TRIED to make the Cool Kids actual characters instead of over-glorified plot devices utilized to make Lars try to get acceptance or Sadie feel jealous…I’m indifferent to the Cool Kids. Except for this episode, I really like them here.

Just like in “Lars and the Cool Kids,” they vibe WELL with Steven, bringing him some well-deserved fun when he needed it the most. I really love how they know how to interact with him, goading him with good fun and sympathising with all the stress he’s been under. That scene where they’re all stunned to silence after Steven trauma dumps about the last few days is…the best. The Kids realizing they DON’T have it that bad and using that as the reason for WHY they let Steven have fun and WHY they stick up for him is…really sweet. Same going for the message that it’s fine for a person to take a BREAK after working so hard all the time. Lots of people, especially kids, need to hear that. It’s fine to teach them not to slack off but it’s even BETTER to tell them it’s okay to rest when they need it. EVERYBODY needs a break sometimes, and it’s good on “Joy Ride” to teach this lesson. I’ve got nothing negative to say about this one. It’s pretty solid…I wouldn’t call it a season finale like the boxset would, but it’s clearly not meant to be. It’s a good episode that only has the crime of not being better than others.

32. Maximum Capacity–Greg and Amethyst’s relationship fascinates me. Out of all the Crystal Gems, Greg seems to get along with Amethyst a lot better than he would with Garnet and ESPECIALLY Pearl. “Maximum Capacity” delves deep into that idea, hinting that they used to pal around a ton before Rose seemed to unintentionally separate them. It’s kind of vague if the separation happened because Greg and Rose got closer and closer or Rose’s death is what caused the divide, but I kind of like that it’s vague. It leaves fans to draw their own conclusions, and seeing the hints of what things USED to be was so intriguing. The whole episode leaves me with a few questions of my own, like, What else did these two get up to? Is it possible that Amethyst had a tiny crush on Greg? Is that why she shifted into Rose? Is that something she did once or twice when she died as a way to get his attention? And, most importantly: WHAT THE FUCK IS LITTLE BUTLER?! Is he a butler that’s just a child?! A child turned into a young slave?! I know I shouldn’t look too deeply on a fake sitcom, BUT WHAT THE HELL IS HE?!

In any case, this is an episode that leaves fans with more questions than answers, and that’s why I’m really into it. In a way, that’s not really satisfying, but I can live with that as it’s much more fun to speculate what went on with these two. And, yeah, Amethyst’s little apology at the end was insanely adorable. Good on you, Amethyst.

31. Gem Glow–The very first episode! And as first episodes go, this one’s pretty decent. It does well in introducing the main cast, their team dynamics, and the overall concept of the show. There’s even some brief, subtle foreshadowing of future events/stories, like how Cookie Cat’s jingle kind of reflects Steven/Rose’s story or how you can see Connie’s glow bracelet in the freezer. Steven Universe is a show that had a LOT of planning for greater narratives, and it’s pretty cool that you can see bits of that in the first episode alone. Though, if I could knock something against it, the way Steven’s shield worked was painfully obvious, even to a thirteen-year-old me who saw this for the first time. I could tell that it worked by Steven feeling happy or joy, so the fact that it took Steven until Season THREE to understand that is…kind of frustrating. Still, a lot of good stuff is done here, making a great first impression for an even greater show.

30. Steven’s Lion–Lion’s first episode! YAY! And it’s the weakest of the little trilogy he has this season, but nowhere near is it bad. Just a little awkward with, get this: MEANDERING. Like, Steven’s antics with Lion are adorable, don’t get me wrong, but we might have spent a little too long on making him FORCE Lion into being a pet. That scene at Fishstew Pizza is especially painful as you know exactly where it’s going and it’s not in a direction that’s funny. Thankfully the majority is adorable, and the ending IS pretty epic enough. Though, I hope a lot of kids won’t believe that random lions from the desert will be as cuddly as Lion is. They’ll maul you, kiddos. They’ll maul you…

29. Open Book–Huh. Rebecca Sugar REALLY thought ahead in okaying an episode where Connie and Steven face disagreements about the quality of the ending to their favorite book series. Sometimes an ending is going to make fans either really angry or happy, and they will likely disagree on whether or not it’s good…And it’s INCREDIBLE how that applies to the show YEARS down the line. Like…Wow.

In fact, that’s the main reason why I dig this one. Not only does its message apply to fans of THIS show, but to fans of ANY show/movie/book/what have you. Disagreements happen a little TOO often, and, in the worst cases, it could end friendships. So I like that “Open Book” says that friendships DON’T end because of a disagreement towards a piece of media. That scene where Steven and Connie talk about how the ending works or not, both having decent points and counterpoints for their stances, is wonderful. It shows that you don’t have to agree on EVERYTHING to remain friends, and disagreements are what sometimes spark fun conversations. As long as you’re both mature about it (And it’s weird that two children are more mature than most chronically online adults), you’ll be fine.

I also really love the twist…Not the twist involving Steven’s real love about the book. I mean, that IS adorable, but it’s brought out by some shipping bait that’s a TAD painful for my tastes. No, what I mean is the twist that the Connie Steven spends the episode with isn’t the REAL Connie. It’s not only clever, but brilliantly subtle as I didn’t even pick up on it the first time watching. It makes “Open Book” an episode with smart writing AND a smart message to teach. What more could you love?

28. Winter Forecast–How about an episode with a cooler (haha) concept to its great message? Because that’s really all this one is. It’s watching Steven learn the responsibility of being on time while using future vision that Garnet temporarily gifted him. Through every decision, we see the consequences that come from Steven and Connie just wanting to spend a little more time together. And those consequences range from Connie getting a cold to…everyone dying from The Gems failing to nuke a warp pad or whatever…Definitely went from zero to a hundred in that regard.

Also, did they REALLY do that? Or did Garnet see that alternate future too and decided the risks really weren’t worth it? Because, I mean, that’s an INSANELY dark thing to do, even for these characters. Then again, we never SEE that shooting star thing again, but maybe that means they got rid of–I’M GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF!

The one note I guess I could give the episode is that we should have SLOWLY raised the stakes more. Even by possible future #2, Mr. Maheswaran crashing his car into Greg, Steven, and Connie is a bit too big of a climb from Connie getting a cold. Maybe if we had more time, we could have done MORE possible futures that show things SLOWLY getting worse, but that’s not really something the show can solve when stuck to its ten minute runtime. Other than that, the rest is pretty well done. Like I said, it has a great message and, escalations aside, it executes it perfectly, showing kids that there are consequences for not doing the responsible thing you promised to do. Plus it has a VERY warm ending that feels both sweet and human and it…It stands out in my mind as a scene that feels the most REAL in this show. Just a lot of good stuff I can’t get over.

27. Giant Woman–A pretty simple episode. It introduces the concept of fusing through the two characters that are often at odds with each other. Steven wanting to see them fuse may teeter the line between being charming and annoying, but you understand him. He’s a kid who wants to see a cool thing and the song he sings has a cute melody to it.

What I particularly love though is when Opal finally shows up. You don’t SEE the interaction Pearl and Amethyst have before fusing (Which is a shame), but you KNOW that they decided to push their bullshit aside and made compromises because Steven needed them, showing that they’ll always do what’s right if it means protecting him. Plus, the fight is EPIC, with Opal living far past any expectations  the episode built up. My face was pretty much Steven’s when I saw the episode the first time, as I was completely blown away by seeing what she’s capable of.

All and all, a pretty solid, if simple episode…

26. Cheeseburger Backpack–Steven’s first mission, and honestly a GREAT introduction to the type of adventures him and the Gems will go on. The Lunar Sea Spire is a cool and unique setting, giving us a little TASTE of the unique locations to come. Though, quick note, it looked so weird and amazing that I genuinely thought the Gems went to another planet. The idea that they were still on Earth was completely lost to me and I feel like the episode–And the series–could have established that a LITTLE better.

However, that’s a nitpick as everything else is still well-made, showing how useful Steven could be for missions. Because he doesn’t have full control of his gem, he has to use his wits and whatever he has on him to get by. You see that a fair amount this season and especially this episode. I also liked that, despite showing how capable he can be, Steven still failed because he forgot the important McGuffin at home like a kid who forgot his lunch before going to school. It shows that Steven’s still learning and the Gems reassuring him that he did his best, and that’s all that matters, is beyond sweet. Plus, future knowledge makes that final moment make a LOT more sense in retrospect, but we didn’t have knowledge of “The Test” back then. All we knew is what was presented, and “Cheeseburger Backpack” presented a lot of great stuff and just what makes Steven so…imperfectly perfect.

25. Serious Steven–This episode gave us MORE of a taste of what missions are like, and a slightly better one than “Cheeseburger Backpack.” We get to see that Steven’s still clumsy and unfocussed, but not stupid. He’s capable of figuring out what’s wrong in a situation, just with an understanding that a child would have. He doesn’t know EXACTLY what the temple is doing, but knows that it gives him the exact same sensations as the tea cup ride in Funland, getting a better idea of what’s wrong far faster than the Gems could. That alone is a nice touch, but you want to know what’s better? This being the first episode where Steven and Garnet go on a little solo adventure.

Garnet is, definitively, the best character in the show and the best caretaker out of the Crystal Gems. This episode shows why, showing her as someone who’s cold and mostly emotionless, yet MADLY caring and supportive of Steven. Her line about how Steven would trip a trap with his “gun show” is just…all kinds of pure, I love it so much. Any episode where they’re together and Garnet shows her love for Steven in the tiniest ways is the best. It makes Garnet feel like a gentle giant as opposed to a calculative leader who would get upset at some dumb kid almost getting them killed. It’s equal parts wholesome and hilarious at times, making this the episode that made me just fall in LOVE with Garnet and Steven’s dynamic.

24. House Guest–NOT a fan of an episode trying to make Greg annoying. He’s GREG! If Garnet’s the best character, he’s an INSANELY close second, being a charming lazy bum who has ENOUGH emotional intelligence to know what’s best for Steven…most of the time. You even see that in THIS episode, with the two of them having fun and getting along doing nothing but eating good food and watching TV together. It reminds me a bit of the times me and my Dad spent together, with “Dear Old Dad” being a song that makes me think of him every time. And, dang it, it brings a tear to my eye lately now that he’s…gone…So why must the writers actively TRY to make Greg INTENTIONALLY annoying and TRY to mess all that up?!

Yes, he can be a bit of a bum, but you don’t have to exaggerate that. He’s a good guy with a good heart, and making him fake being injured just…doesn’t really prove that. Now, it’s sweet that he did it to spend more time with Steven (Which he does anyways, so moot point), and I DO like he actually redeemed himself in the end. It amazes me that, to this day, the duct tape STILL works, but it’s good on Greg to do the right thing after realizing he went too far. So despite the ATTEMPT to make him bad, Greg still manages to prove how good of a guy he is. And thank goodness too, because I would not be able to stand it if he gave an apology that’s as empty as half of Lars’.

23. The Test–Hey, there’s that future knowledge I was talking about earlier! And like I said, this puts a lot of the Gems reassuring Steven at the end of “Cheeseburger Backpack” into perspective. The way they cheered him up despite talking earlier about how important the spire was, or how Amethyst seemed to give him a grading scale in saying he got a fifty percent at the end of the adventure makes more sense now. It makes the spire being a test a decent twist that SURELY must have been planned out. With this show, it certainly must have.

As for THIS episode, the rest is pretty fine…Until the end when it becomes OUTSTANDING. The twist that the titular test was rigged is okay enough on its own, but that scene when Steven listens in on the Gems admitting that they don’t know what they’re doing and just trying all they can to help Steven…It lit something up deep inside my soul, showing that while the Gems AREN’T human they still have that humanity inside them. Lots of parents, from what I’ve gathered, often feel the same way, with that inadequacy being more common than you think. And what I straight up ADORE is that Steven sees it, understands it, and acts as though he didn’t know the test was rigged. All for THEIR benefit, and that is just…so wholesome in so many ways. “The Test” shows just how much these characters love each other, and the lengths they will go to make sure they’re happy. What else can I say other than it puts the biggest smile on my face when I watch it?

22. Steven the Sword Fighter–On the topic of love, this one highlights Steven’s unquestionable love for Pearl. The boy just watched one of his moms die in front of him, and spends the entire episode trying to cope with her death as she tries to get better…That’s a weird sentence, but the Gems are kind of weird too, with poofing being yet another oddity. But a unique one, as it is interesting that they can “die” but come back later with a whole new design. And it does say a LOT about Pearl that it took her two weeks to change her appearance…by looking exactly the same only to wear a bow where her owie used to be. That’s funny as it is frustrating because it kind of makes me feel WORSE for Steven that he spent so much time worrying about her and she spent all of it microscopically adjusting her appearance.

But going back to Steven, there’s a lot of good stuff to analyze how he acted while Pearl was gone. It feels a lot like a kid who misses their parent who have to be gone for a while. Garnet and Amethyst don’t see it as much of a big deal, but you can tell in Steven’s eyes that this is basically waiting for a parent to leave the operating room after going under for surgery. You really feel for his plight and sympathize with him using Holo-Pearl as a stand-in only to get upset when it doesn’t work out. It hits you where it hurts the most, and I remember this was the episode where the show was going to be a lot more serious than I thought. Little did I know the heavier stuff wouldn’t be too far ahead. Speaking of…

21. Future Vision–While still on the topic of love, this one is all about Garnet’s love for Steven, all through the thing that fixes plotholes and makes more in the process: Future Vision.

How does Garnet know when to save Steven or where something is going to be? Future vision told her. How come she didn’t know some things were going to happen and still managed to be surprised by other things? Because future vision didn’t tell her enough, I guess. Yeah, it’s a cool concept but one that tends to make certain scenes upsetting when you realize Garnet SHOULD have seen some events coming. One episode tries to explain why she doesn’t, but that is FOUR seasons from now and Season One has a lot to answer for…While also offering no answers because it doesn’t want to.

Instead, the season offers an episode all about how you shouldn’t worry about the possible dangers in life. And honestly, it’s a good episode with a REALLY great message. Though, it’s another case where the ending makes it shine brighter than it actually does. Garnet’s final monologue at the end cuts DEEP, having her be the most emotionally vulnerable she’s ever been in the season, possibly the series, as she admits this was all because she wanted to get closer to Steven. Garnet loves the little guy, we established this, and I LOVE that line, “I see so many things that can hurt you. I shouldn’t have let myself be one of them.” The way she says it with a wide-eyed stare emphasizes so much how SHE’S haunted by the many possibilities too and the realization that she’s just as capable of being one as well. It stings and it is a moment that will stick with me for a LONG while as this episode shows how much a person’s love can be damaging to either person. I…LOVE it.

20. Warp Tour–A decent enough mystery of what’s going on with the warps. Steven’s the only one concerned because the Gems doubt there could be any problems out in space, likely due to being used to no gems returning to Earth after the great war. It makes the big reveal that there ARE Gems coming to Earth all the more intense, with Peridot’s introduction feeling the right kind of ominous.

Also, now we’re bringing up Peridot, I LOVE how different her first scene feels to the person she becomes later on in the series. THAT’S how you know a redemption is done right, where it almost feels like the two aren’t the same character and–I’m getting ahead of myself again.

“Warp Tour” is essentially our first REAL peek into a grander, grimmer narrative. And as a true beginning of a longer story, it ain’t half bad…But a standalone episode, it could be a LITTLE better. I feel like it’s more memorable for what it sets UP as opposed to what it actually does. The mystery is great, though I feel like the Gems should have taken Steven a little more seriously, especially Garnet. You can tell it's her future vision that told her where Steven was at an exact moment, but she couldn’t see far enough that he was RIGHT about the marbles? It just seems off, but not reprehensible. Just something that could be a LITTLE tweaked, because the Crystal Gems being too comfortable with there being NO otherworldly threat can be acceptable for so long. Still, it’s a great intro to a bigger story for what it’s worth.

19. The Message–Another piece of an ongoing narrative, but this one stands out better because it functions more as a standalone episode. Yes, it’s the episode where Lapis warns the others about the oncoming invasion, but more than that it dives deep into Greg’s relationship with the Crystal Gems. He has a great deal of respect for all three of them, one that goes beyond the fact that they’re heroes and champions for peace. They’re the mothers of his son and the close friends of his now dead wife. He’s known them for years and appreciates their presence…Even though they don’t feel the same way.

That’s what “The Message” really is about: Greg trying to earn the same amount of respect he feels for the Crystal Gems. You really feel for him and the strife he goes through, with the song “Wailing Stone” doing its best to convey that he’s a guy trying his best to impress. And when he got that handshake from Garnet? It felt all kinds of special as it’s a great ending to a great Greg episode.

Although, it’s not the BEST part of that ending, admittedly. That honor DOES go to Lapis’ warning and how everyone reacts to it. What Lapis says gives off the right kind of ominous feeling and the panic Pearl and Amethyst are going through is absolute perfection. Pearl legitimately looked like she was having PTSD over the mere THOUGHT of another attack, and that strangely works well for me. However, the real standout star in this is Garnet, who sees the panicking, acknowledges the threat…and tables it for now, choosing to congratulate Greg and saying the mission is done. The invasion is a tomorrow problem, while they choose to take the win they got TODAY. And there are so many LAYERS in that tiny bit of dialogue, just in the stern way she says “We’re done.” You can tell that she’s saying all of this so they don’t scare Steven or themselves for an oncoming threat in the future. It’s not what was SAID, but it’s what’s FELT, and I love it for that. This whole ending works well as a perfect setup for the finale, all while giving Greg a moment to shine. Can’t help but love it.

18. Marble Madness–Definitely my favorite of the setup episodes. Here, we get The Crystal Gems doing something they haven’t done before: Go on an INTELLIGENCE mission. Every episode before was about finding a monster so they can kill it or grab a magical artifact that’s too dangerous to remain on Earth. This is the first time they face a threat with no real knowledge of what it is or what it’s doing. This then leads Steven being the one to once again prove his value by being the only one among them who can think outside of the box. His idea to follow the marble so they can learn what it wants and effectively stop it is pretty clever…Even if introducing himself to Peridot is plainly stupid. But, hey, that’s just Steven being a kid and it's one of the few times the show writes it CORRECTLY. Plus it leads to a great confrontation as Peridot knows who the Crystal Gems are now and they make their mission against her clear, sparking the oncoming invasion in the process. It’s a ton of fun, which is the best way to describe this episode. This is the biggest hint yet that things are going to get serious, but it’s still a fun ride with a lot of great moments. Like Garnet’s line, “We can’t fight these things forever! Well, we can, but I don’t want to!” That got a good laugh out of me. Same with Connie trying to get Steven into her hyper-fixation and him accidentally messing it up for her. We’ve ALL been there at one point and I can’t help but chuckle through each interaction they have. Like I said, the episode is just…fun and a little exciting. Not much else to comment on.

17. Rose’s Room–It kind of bothers me that this episode dismisses its own message within SECONDS. It’s all about Steven learning that he can’t get everything that he wants, throwing him into a room that can literally give him whatever he asks for, down to the silliest request. This then leads to him going through a horror show that’s handled well through animation. Through looping movements and the painted background getting broken apart until there’s nothing left but an overlay of stars, it really does a topnotch job in showing how potentially dangerous Rose’s room is. Yes, it can be cute and fun if you keep it simple, but overload it and you end up crashing the thing faster than a Minecraft world with twenty different mods at once. It does a good job to visually show us Steven learning the hard way that you shouldn’t expect to get what you want just by asking for it…So by ending the episode with him proudly proclaiming “I always get what I want,” it kind of hurts the episode, taking it from a nine to an eight…What? I said kind of. “Rose’s Room” is still a great episode with decent horror and an eerie atmosphere. It just didn’t stick the landing with its main message.

16. Monster Buddies–This is a GREAT episode that shows off the true power of Steven. It’s not his healing spit, his bubbles, or his shield. It’s Steven’s unbeatable kindness. He sees the Centi-Beatle as a poor, helpless creature that isn’t evil or all that mindless. Steven KNOWS there’s something good within that creature and I LOVE that he isn’t WRONG. Even in that ending where it goes nuts and starts attacking, it’s not because it suddenly turned on the Crystal Gems, it’s because it got freaked out by the trauma of them and their weapons. That in turn makes the fight painful to watch, but all in a good way as you see this scared creature just trying to defend itself when it thinks it’s in danger. It’s similar to a creature that experienced nothing but abuse reacting poorly to the slightest negative flinch from someone who didn’t mean to do anything bad. And again, I love that Steven’s the one to see this and was RIGHT to think it that way.

People give the series flack for how it redeems villains. And, in certain cases, the writers REALLY could have done better. But in the case of something like Centi-Beetle, a creature that’s obvious from the start is something that ISN’T evil, is an example of the show using redemption correctly. To use that abused creature analogy, that really is what this THING is. It’s something that was abused and needed to relearn how to be better. To be loved. And…gosh dang it, it warms the heart to see Steven go above and beyond to help it, while breaking my heart to see it die. This is an episode where the show’s ongoing message about how not EVERYTHING is evil just WORKS. Things can get messy in the later seasons, but, in this instance, it works really well.

15. Cat Fingers–Hey, look, it’s the first REAL case of nightmare fuel in the series! And one that sticks with me to this day. At first, it doesn’t seem like it wouldn’t be that bad. Steven just turns his fingers into cats that get angry when he uses them as regular fingers. Seems simple, ridiculous, but nothing that’s a major problem…Then things get worse as the episode dives deep into body horror as Steven shifts into a big mass of cats all lumped together. They’re mewling and hissing in annoyance by Steven simply moving around and Steven sounds like he’s in total pain throughout all of it. And things don’t get better when he goes to Greg for help…I mean, they DO. The two miraculously find a solution to get rid of the cats, but the road to get there…hurts.

You get to watch Greg, stunned to silence, as he stares at his poor baby boy crying and BEGGING his father, the only person he has left right now, to help him. Greg doesn’t even come up with a solution, either. STEVEN does, and Greg has to force himself to be brave enough to do it. His options are either risk hurting Steven with a carwash or risk losing his son FOREVER as he turns into a monster of his own, unintentional making and–GOSH DANG IT, I love this climax! And I love this episode!

When I watched “Cat Fingers” for the first time, it was another sign I had that the show was going to be something more mature than most kids cartoons on the network. The slow burn from taking something cute and turning it into body horror was masterful, with a tense ending that I still tend to think about years after watching it. I almost want to say “Cat Fingers” is a perfect episode to introduce the show to friends…if it wasn’t for how intensely dark things get. It hooked ME in for a while, but that’s not going to be everyone’s experience. Still, it’s a GREAT episode that couldn’t make the top ten because…Well, would you really argue any episode from here on out being any lower?

14. Laser Light Canon–Greg’s first episode and a REALLY good introduction to his character. It would have been SOOOOO easy to have instantly written him off as a do-nothing slacker who did nothing but make the plan fall apart. Except that’s NOT Greg. He does care and he does try, and I love that the episode isn’t about Steven thinking otherwise. He KNOWS his dad can be useful, regardless if the Gems doubt it. Though, I do still love that Greg isn’t perfect. He looked like he had JUST woken up from an eight hour nap, he kept a laser light cannon in the back of a messy storage shed, and dragged/scraped that vital weapon for survival across most of Beach City. Amethyst isn’t wrong, Greg IS a mess, but you pick up quickly that he’s a good guy at heart.  From episode one, he drove his van into ALL of our hearts, and has been parked there ever since.

13. Bubble Buddies–CONNIE’S FIRST EPISODE! And get ready for a Connie marathon, because I was not joking way back with “Fusion Cuisine” that I loved a lot of her episodes. Her introduction alone proves why as Connie sets herself apart from the rest of the cast as someone more…intelligent than Steven but never mean spirited towards him or his antics. Yes, she yells at him near the end there, but only because the poor girl finally met her breaking point after spending the whole day forced into an awkward social situation. Honestly, it’s amazing she managed to get that far without screaming her head off, and I liked how patient she was about Steven and his ideas. The way she casually wrote “Harpoon Gun” instead of using doodles like Steven or her slight annoyance showing with the roller coaster idea shows that she’s smarter, but never mean about it. All things considered, she and Steven got along well.

Also, yeah, the adorkable moments between Steven and Connie are what shot this ALL the way up. INSTANTLY, you get that they’re meant to get together and it’s adorable seeing those seeds be planted. It’s cute to see Steven actually act nervous talking to someone for once despite him getting along with almost anybody, and Connie’s “He was incredible” was a nice cherry on top. Plus, that scene at the bottom of the ocean was all kinds of warm and…REAL. The emotions these two go through feels REAL! From the embarrassment Steven has, Connie’s frustration, the awkwardness the two must be experiencing, and the butterflies they must have felt in certain moments. It works REALLY well, and it makes for a great episode that introduces a GREAT character.

12. An Indirect Kiss–TECHNICALLY not a Connie episode. It’s more like…HALF of one, where the other half is all about Steven trying to heal Amethyst’s cracked gem. Actually, it’s hardly about THAT either, as it’s really the FIRST time we delved into Steven’s complicated feelings towards Rose. Throughout the season, to this point, he’s told nothing but stories about her, what she fought for, and how wonderful she is. Or WAS. And that’s what makes Steven’s feelings so complicated. He knows his mom is a great person (for now), but HE never really got the chance to know her, so sometimes he doesn’t know HOW to feel about Rose. Even worse, Steven feels like he has to live up to her legacy and all that she did for the greater good. That last part is the crux of this episode, because if Steven can’t heal Amethyst like Rose could, then he can’t be as good as Rose. And that scene where he confesses all these mixed up feelings towards her…it gets to one’s heart as easily as it got to Connie’s.

Speaking of, Connie is still a big star here. She hears Steven’s story, sympathizes with him, and tries to cheer him up by saying that if he’s ONLY human, he’ll still have her. He’ll ALWAYS have her. And…gosh darn it, that is so sweet! And wholesome! This is just a sweet, wholesome moment, even if it IS slightly undercut by Steven realizing he DOES have healing powers after accidentally healing Connie’s eyesight. It kind of shoots down Connie’s whole point, but it doesn’t change how sweet it is. Or how adorable it was that Connie just straight up LEANED IN for a kiss before her eye strain kicked in! Like…good on you, girl! You know what you wanted in that moment, went for it, and only stopped because life said no. And continued to say no for four seasons, a movie, and a spin off–CURSE YOU, REBECCA SUGAR!

Overall, definitely a wonderfully, beautiful and wholesome episode. Had some great character building moments for Steven, some adorable interactions between him and Connie, and the Gems…You know, existing. There’s some good fun with Amethyst’s body corrupting because of her crack or Pearl trying and failing NOT to have a panic attack over Garnet destroying Rose’s garden, but it’s really Steven and Connie that shine the brightest here. It may make me sound biased, but their relationship is one of my favorite things in the series, with this episode being a prime example of WHY…Same with the next.

11. Alone Together–The episode that introduces Stevonnie! And just like them, this entire episode is an EXPERIENCE.

I love the information that the episode gives across by SHOWING us instead of telling us. And I don’t just mean Garnet’s utter glee at seeing Steven and Connie fused. That IS a great moment where you know exactly WHY she’s excited without the show spelling it out, but only because HINDSIGHT tells you why. The REAL great moments are everything involving Stevonnie, how they act and how they talk. The episode cleverly goes back and forth in making Stevonnie their own person and making it Steven and Connie acting as two kids in a trenchcoat. It all depends on whether they’re in harmony with each other or one of them is starting to feel unsure about what they’re doing. The perfect example of this is when they get doughnuts. Ordering them, it’s clear that Steven and Connie are both so on the same page that whatever Stevonnie says feels like it could come from either one of them. But when they’re alone and looking at said doughnuts and asking if they should stop, you can tell who’s saying what in this entire scene. It’s strangely fascinating, in a way, with the episode NOT STOPPING in showing Steven and Connie…hanging out together. They just happen to be the same person for a short time, enjoying the experience as long as they can. And I just…I can’t help but LOVE this entire thing. It’s so well written, beautifully animated, and WONDERFULLY directed. Loved every second, and the crazy part is that things can only get better from here as we reach our top ten…

10. Lion 2: The Movie–This gives us our first taste in Steven and Connie’s friendship, and everything in that regard is perfect. The episode shows that the awkwardness of their first meeting is worked out, even though they haven’t COMPLETELY figured things out yet. They’re on the same page and equally excited for a silly movie, but Connie still feels unsure if she’s cool enough for Steven and Steven’s trying too hard to impress her. It’s why I like their little talk at the end, the two of them making it clear what the problem is and showing that any relationship, whether you’re friends or a couple, is built on communication and honesty. It’s best to be up front about what’s wrong or what you want to do instead of hiding it behind smiles or grand gestures. It’s sweet Steven wants to give Connie a fun ride to the movies, but maybe using his pet lion wasn’t the best choice.

Although, since I brought up the beast in question, I love that this entire episode gives us MORE of an idea of where Lion came from yet leaving us with many MORE questions in the process. Like, from the rose-shaped butt on the sword to how he brought Steven to a place that had her laser light canons, you know that Lion must have known Rose personally, likely being her pet. Yet you don’t know how he can keep a sword in his head, run on water, or roar teleportation portals on a whim. That’s still left a mystery for a bit, and you’re forced to take the hints you’re given FOR NOW so you can theorize later. Still, I love all the things the episode tells us without having to say much at all, with hindsight showing how many seeds the writers planted beforehand. “Rose’s Scabbard” reveals that the place Lion took Steven and Connie to IS Rose’s armory, and it better explains why he took them there after Steven said the word, “Train.” He misunderstood Steven’s wording, taking it as an order and almost getting Steven and Connie killed in the process. It proves that Lion is a majestic creature, older than most of the characters in the show, but he’s still a dumb creature who reacts to certain keywords.

All and all, this is an episode that’s LEAGUES better than Lion’s first episode. It gives some good Steven and Connie moments, building their relationship better, and offers some decent foreshadowing for future episodes. The only unfortunate thing is that it’s not the BEST Lion episode. No, no…That goes to our number nine pick…

9. Lion 3: Straight to Video–This one…This was beautiful.

The episode starts off simple enough. It’s just shenanigans with Lion trying to stuff Steven in his mane, but, because he can’t explain WHAT he’s doing, Steven just ends up suffocating in the dang thing. It’s weirdly funny, backed up with surprisingly adorable moments of Lion acting like a big cat, and a hilarious confession from Pear where she sheepishly explains that she watches Steven sleep. For the majority of this, it’s a lot of great fun…However, the REAL good stuff comes with Rose’s video.

That video warmed the hearts of millions…Only for future episodes and the knowledge that comes from them to ALMOST ruin this heartfelt moment. I say almost because some fans brought up a good point: This is Rose at the end of her journey. A character who has done a lot of bad things in the past, unaware of the consequences those things will have in FAR the future, but has fully changed and mostly redeemed herself past all the horrors she commenced. So, she wants to spend her last moments making a video talking about her son and how excited she is that he’ll get the chance she won’t have and live LIFE. The whole thing just feels so, undeniably…HUMAN. This is Rose Quartz at her most human and it is beautiful. The same goes for Steven’s tearful smile as he holds the tape close to his heart, cherishing it and all it represents. Sure, Steven would later feel…conflicted about his mother by Season Four onwards, but there’s something pure and heartwarming seeing him love that moment NOW. It’s…indescribable for how wonderful that moment is. All I can say is that it marks a PERFECT ending to an otherwise fun episode.

8. Space Race–Here we have Pearl’s first REAL episode, and your enjoyment of those are highly dependent on your feelings towards her and the times she almost gets Steven killed. This one being no exception as she almost got herself and Steven blown to smithereens because she was too focused on going to space. A character who does such a thing can be very hard to like…So why do I like it? Simple: Pearl FASCINATES me.

Pearl is a character that is often driven by her own overambition and, whether she fails to admit it or not, selfishness. Granted, selfish desire isn’t what FREQUENTLY drives her, but it does tend to show up from time to time, especially when her ambition for a project grows. You see that in this episode, with her growing desire to go into space conflicting/contrasting with someone like Greg who’s forced to be the adult in the situation because the other one is going through an alien version of “stir crazy.” I actually kind of dig this sort of role reversal, where Greg and Pearl switch who has to be the most responsible one as Pearl’s plan risks getting her and Steven hurt at worst and her taking Steven away for decades at BEST. And while you CERTAINLY side with Greg in this scenario…you still notice the desire mixed with hope in Pearl’s eyes as she gets closer to leaving Earth. It doesn’t excuse any of her behavior, but it explains it properly.

Pearl can be reckless at times, the character and writers know this. Yet it’s that same recklessness that makes her so engaging to watch. Plus, with each mistake she makes, you can actually tell Pearl learns from it and does all she can to do BETTER. The lesson she takes away with this episode is not only perfect for her, but decent for kids. Sometimes, it’s okay to give up on an idea. It doesn’t have to be forever, it could ALWAYS just be temporary. But if your ambition is starting to cloud your judgment and risk hurting yourself or others, you need to give up. There’s no shame in it, with Pearl proving WHY. Unless you want to LITERALLY crash and burn one day, you need to learn that sometimes, it’s okay to bail. A wonderful sentiment, to a wonderful episode.

7. On the Run–Hey, look! Character development mixed in with lore! AND in the biggest, emotionally damaging episode in the series! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY–

“On the Run” was the episode that I think made me realize Steven Universe will not only go into darker, rougher territories, but handle more mature topics better than any cartoon could. Now, in some cases, the show tends to falter from time to time, but with an episode like THIS…Ooh, boy.

Amethyst’s breakdown is one of the best written and well-executed dramatic scenes the show ever put to screen. And I’m not just talking about the “I never asked to be made” line. As wonderfully heart wrenching as that is, the breakdown truly begins when Amethyst starts talking about how gems like her were created, telling Steven the Great Gem War before Pearl decided he was ready to learn about it. Amethyst didn’t care about Pearl’s objections, though, as she went on and on about, spitting out what SHE hears every time Pearl talks about how evil Homeworld Gems are. By the time the fighting starts, Pearl realizes too late what the problem is and how she’s an unintentional source of it. Sometimes we tend to say things, not knowing how negatively it impacts someone else because we never expected them to be hurt by it. This episode shows why it’s important to notice how someone reacts to something you say, because it shouldn’t be all on THEM to communicate how hurt they feel. I mean, they SHOULD bring it up because of how much it hurts, but for people like Amethyst, ones who find it hard to show vulnerability, you need to keep an eye on them in particular.

But the best scene? The apology. It is a beautiful moment shared by two characters who often want to kill each other, and I’m pretty sure this is the LAST episode where they’re at odds. They get annoyed more times than not, but with Pearl now seeing this new side of Amethyst and Amethyst getting a better idea at how Pearl sees her, the previous animosity the two had in this season alone is no longer there. It makes for a perfect end to their negativity to an almost perfect episode…I’d say almost because Steven and Amethyst’s scenes of running away felt like filler before getting to the last five minutes. Those are GREAT five minutes, but I feel like we could have used a better excuse to get there. I do like Amethyst using Steven wanting to live out a childish fantasy for her own purposes, but the running away part could have had a better hook. Still, almost perfect is pretty dang good as far as I’m concerned.

6./5. Mirror Gem/Ocean Gem–Yeah, you might as well lump these two together. They’re essentially two halves of a single episode, and a REALLY great one at that.

“Mirror Gem” acts as a great set up to “Ocean Gem,” as Steven and Lapis form a natural friendship where they just spend a day goofing around. Knowing the kind of life that Lapis had, it’s actually sweet seeing her easily get along with Steven as the share laughs together. It’s another, better showcase of how Steven gets along with almost anyone, while also showing that Lapis isn’t really…a bad person. Yes, she tried to drown Garnet and stole the Earth’s ocean in the next episode, but she’s also someone who made fart noises with a boy all day and seemed grateful to be let out of the mirror. Plus, it’s our very first glimpse into how the Crystal Gems AREN’T perfect people. It’s left vague enough that they weren’t originally AWARE Lapis was trapped in the mirror, but they still tried to take it away from Steven when they were worried it was something dangerous. They saw a threat where Steven saw someone who needed help, and that scene where Garnet is holding out her hand for the mirror while Lapis screams, “NO” is an intense one. Like Steven, you trust that Lapis isn’t bad, so Garnet looming over him, demanding the mirror and calling her an OBJECT to dehumanize her is…kind of sick, I’m not gonna lie. In fact, that’s kind of the reason that holds this episode back a bit. The Gems never really apologize to Lapis for holding her captive and using her as a tool all these centuries. I don’t mean just in this episode either, as the rest of the series shows them interacting with her but NEVER saying sorry for it, especially after all the stuff she went through in trying to HELP them. I like seeing the Gems as NOT the perfect protectors they proclaim themselves to be, but I’d like it more if they LEARNED from this unfortunate outcome.

Though, to be fair with THESE episodes…Lapis DID steal the entire ocean and almost drowned Steven and Connie. She did it to get back home because her cracked gem stopped her from flying away and she didn’t trust the Crystal Gems for what they did to her or Steven for siding with them. It explains her actions while not really excusing them, all while having a pretty epic battle as the Gems fight someone who can properly fight back. Seeing them battle a monster each week was fun enough, but it’s cool that facing Lapis put them in a standstill or left them feeling outmatched. And again, I LOVE that Lapis isn’t really evil here. She’s scared, confused, and lashing out of anger and frustration because she’s TRAPPED on a planet that trapped HER. All she wants is to LEAVE and…that’s brilliantly the solution. Lapis doesn’t care about the Earth or has any plans to destroy it, so Steven lets her go in a scene that’s…really beautiful with its music and visuals of Lapis’ eyes returning to normal before flying away into the stars. It’s a great end to a well-made two parter that shows how Steven’s kindness is the best option to go with sometimes. Someone like Lapis was dangerous, but misguided. And it’s good he wanted to HELP instead of hurt, with it paying off as it gave him a new friend and the Gems a new ally…That they never apologized to–I’m STILL upset about that!

4. Full Disclosure–A GREAT follow up to the finale…that’s no longer the finale, I guess, according to the boxset.

It perfectly carries on from where “Jailbreak” left off, having Steven fully grasp how messed up  the whole experience was for him. His recap to Greg didn’t really paint a flattering picture of what happened, really emphasizing how close the gems came to losing if not for luck/Lapis sacrificing her freedom again (The Crystal Gems don’t even THANK her for that either!). All while bringing up a reasonable fear that MORE dangerous Gems like Jasper might show up again, meaning that things aren’t done for them. And while Greg’s little freak out is funny, there is a realness to it. Steven sees the panic and knows there will be damaging effects if he’s  up front and honest about how intense the situation is.

This then, brilliantly, leads to Steven doing exactly what he called the Crystal Gems out for doing to him: Hiding the truth from Connie so that she doesn’t get scared. It allows him a chance to walk a mile in the Gems’ shoes for a change. It’s a gradual perspective he gains too, often going back and forth over what to say or even if he SHOULD talk to Connie at all. It’s a decent conflict made clear with the song “Full Disclosure,” a beautiful melody that does great to sell Steven’s indecision and just why he makes the choice to go radio silent. Thankfully, he doesn’t STICK to this decision. Connie showing up and planting her feet in the ground until Steven tells her to her FACE to leave is exactly what Steven needed to learn he was making the wrong call. It is the BEST possible decision to let Steven realize that, despite things getting more dangerous for him, he shouldn’t shut out the people he loves because of it. He criticized the Gems for the same thing and it’s good for him to learn to be better than that even if he now understands WHY they do it.

Speaking of the Gems, it is kind of weird that they don’t pick up how off Steven is acting. I can believe it to an extent as they’re ALSO focussed on what to do next to notice Steven suddenly acting like every brooding protagonist ever. To them, they probably think he’s doing a bit, but it still would have been nice if ONE Crystal Gem asked, “Are you okay?” I’m also not a fan of the episode brushing aside Greg’s worry. It just seems cheap with how big of a deal HE made things out to be to just have the episode end on a perfect, “Oh, yeah, everything’s fine now” note. Still, the good outweighs the bad in this one, showing that while it’s not perfect it’s still really good. Couldn’t have asked for a better episode to follow up the absolute INTENSITY of the one it followed…And we’ll get to that one soon enough. There’s just ONE MORE story to talk about first…

3. Rose’s Scabbard–This was THE episode that made me find Pearl so fascinating.

What I enjoy most is how the show’s BIGGEST twist makes me love this episode more. Like, even BEFORE knowing the truth about Rose, everything is spelled out clear enough for us. Pearl projecting Rose’s hologram at the end helps make ANYONE with just the slimmest of intelligence be aware of how close Pearl and Rose were. Particularly, how close PEARL felt towards Rose. We always hear how much Pearl admires Rose and how Rose saw Pearl through PEARL’S perspective, with this episode being the first indicator that SOMETHING was going on between them. Pearl LOVED Rose, loved her more than anything else in life, feeling as though they had a relationship that goes beyond ANYTHING ELSE the two could ever have. To the point where Pearl easily believes that she’s the one person Rose could EVER trust, sharing everything with her. So when Pearl sees proof that there were even secrets that Rose kept from HER, she shatters.

The big thing is that the secret is…not a big thing. All Rose hid from Pearl was that she kept a pink lion. Yet it doesn’t stop Pearl from spiraling, because if Rose kept the tiniest secret from Pearl…what else didn’t she tell her? Were there any lies that even ROSE told Pearl? Were they NOT as close as she always believed? That last question might even have some weight to it, because while we often see Rose from Pearl’s perspective, we NEVER get a full idea of how Rose REALLY felt towards her. They were close, and you get the sense that she LOVED Pearl too, but perhaps he just didn’t love Pearl the same way Pearl loved her. It adds an extra sense of heartbreak to Pearl’s, understanding just why she feels so fragile and sporadic after learning Lion belonged to Rose. And that’s not even considering how Pearl’s the one who kept Rose’s biggest secret, making her shattered realization over realizing there were still secrets kept from HER all the more heartwrenching. Thankfully, there’s at least something HEARTWARMING in all this tragedy, and that’s Steven.

I ADORE how Steven doesn’t fully grasp what’s going on or why Pearl’s acting so strange. Most of the time, the show being strictly in Steven’s perspective is often to its detriment, as we don’t get to see these big, character building moments unless STEVEN is there to see it too. Here though, seeing Pearl’s breakdown through the eyes of a child is what REALLY works, because it can help kids who might often experience the same things too. The confusion of why their parents are suddenly freaking out, seeing them want to get away from everyone for a short time, and even this weird sense of guilt where you feel as though YOU have done something wrong when it has NOTHING to do with you. All of that is conveyed perfectly in this episode, making it something good for both kids AND their parents to see. It allows kids to know that there’s REASONS why your parents suddenly act out this way, and tells parents that it’s for the best of everyone if you just TELL your kids everything will be fine at some point, even if you’re going through something heavy you shouldn’t just yell at your children to leave you alone when all they want to know is that what’s wrong.

What’s even better is that, while Pearl gives a PSEUDO explanation, Steven still understands…enough. He doesn’t FULLY grasp what’s wrong, but he gets that Pearl loved Rose, misses her, and feels betrayed that they may not have been that close after all. So, he says the only thing he can really say, and it’s a line that has stuck with me for as long as I’ve seen this scene. A line that is so perfect, so pure, and so loving that it makes me wish I could EVER write something so poignant yet so simple. All Steven says is, “I think you’re pretty great,” but the WAY he says it, the hug he gives Pearl, and Pearl tearing up over the fact that STEVEN still loves and trusts her…It’s just perfect. Same goes with the little moment they share after where Steven tries to cheer Pearl up with magic tricks and Pearl astonishing Steven with her war crimes–I mean, stories. We don’t HEAR what they say, but we FEEL what they’re going through thanks to MASTERFUL visual storytelling that the show doesn’t get enough credit for when it pulls it off as perfectly as it does here. Even something as simple as Pearl’s little glance to Steven with this blank expression…I feel like there’s so many ways to interpret HOW she glances at him and what it means. For me, it feels like she’s finally figured him out and accepts Steven as what he is. He isn’t Rose, he’s…Steven. And she loves him–IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WAY FROM ROSE, you gross shippers–all the same because of it.

Such a MASTERFULLY, well-written, perfectly performed, and astonishingly animated episode…That’s just shy of being number because a certain two parter happens to be better. You know which one it is…

2./1. The Return/Jail Break–Just like Mirror Gem/Ocean Gem, you might as well lump these two together into one, BIG episode that changed the series forever and for the better.

“The Return” makes for a GREAT part one, with the intensity building up and up and UP! From seeing that the Gems’ best weapons can’t stop the hand, to Beach City Denizens panicking as they evacuate, and…Greg’s explanation. Oh, my… Greg’s explanation of what the Gem’s really are is haunting, as he just lays out one dark truth after the other. Are the Gems evil? No, but he doesn’t really paint a pretty picture in Steven’s mind as he explains the horrible things that came from them going to war with Homeworld. It sells how this is the first time that Steven sees the severity of EVERYTHING, from his reactions to him trying (and often failing) to see the bright side to every dark truth Greg reveals, coming to this heartpounding realization that he HAS to go back and help the Gems. Yet despite all these heavy realizations…Steven still acts like a child, and I adore it. He’s introduced to new horrors, but he’s got a LOT of trauma to go through before his silliness fades away. For now, he’s still calling Connie to tell her that they’re going to die yet he’ll STILL call her later, tells Lion that he can be Greg’s new son, and simply goes “Hey, guys” before going into battle. The sweet boy is still living his best life BEFORE experiencing his first real nightmare.

Speaking of which…Garnet’s poofing is ALSO haunting. The way her body breaks apart, the look of anguish in her eyes before death, and just the EERIE green glow that comes with her dematerialization. The animators went all out in showing how INTENSE this moment is, all while selling how big of a threat Jasper can be. Before she got all obsessed with fusions (yet somehow disgusted by it?), she stood strong as this character who felt like a force of nature. You GET why Jasper’s a commander and WHY the Gems should fear her from this scene alone. It makes for a great ending for the first half of this story, with its follow up…being even better.

“Jailbreak” gives us the show’s SECOND biggest twist in terms of shock value: Garnet is a fusion. The set up to this reveal is handled masterfully, where you get the sense of who Ruby and Sapphire are MEANT to be even before they fuse. There’s the way they both lead Steven differently but similarly to Garnet. Ruby rushes the halls militarily and expects a fight around each corner while Sapphire moves with certainty and knows exactly where they need to go and what they need to do. Even their personalities, like Ruby’s worry for Steven or Sapphire’s deadpanned demeanor, really shows who they are before the big reveal.

And WHAT a reveal this was! I was admittedly out of the loop with Steven Universe after “Ocean Gem,” just couldn’t keep up anymore. But when I saw the clip of Garnet being a fusion, my interest sparked right back because that is SO interesting! It makes it so much fun to look back at previous scenes and consider who’s at the wheel during certain moments and how often Ruby and Sapphire are REALLY on the same page. Plus, there IS the beautiful symbolism that Garnet’s the amalgamation of Ruby and Sapphire’s love for each other. This show for CHILDREN said lesbians are real, and these two made the most badass warrior of the cosmos. Sure, you see LGBTQA+ representation a lot now and a fair amount in the past, but it was this moment in Steven Universe that said it LOUDLY and PROUDLY, being the main reason why we get most of that good, good representation in future media. This was even the moment that opened my eyes to the importance of LGBTQA+ representation, never seeing much of it because kids shows don’t really telegraph that type of stuff. But with Steven Universe, it opened my eyes to the rainbow of possibilities, and I refused to close them since…And that’s even BEFORE we get “Stronger Than You.”

“Stronger Than You” is the best song in Steven Universe, and I will take NO arguments. It’s a kickass fight scene that shows how awesome Garnet is, while an AMAZING song that conveys how amazing of a character she is. Her sass, confidence, and proclamations of how good she is are spectacular. If the reveal that she was a fusion was enough to spark my intrigue in the series again, Garnet’s “Stronger Than You” was enough to make me rewatch the show. It’s part of the best episode of the season for its perfectly executed intense moments, fantastic revelations, and an epic finale that was built up extraordinarily well. Loved every second as it remains the episode that tells me WHY I love Steven Universe in the first place.

And THAT’S THAT! A first season that’s, honestly, a lot better than I remember. The storytelling is strong, Rebecca Sugar proving she had plans set up as early as episode one. The execution of those plans are debatable, but for this season it all looked like things were working well for them. MOST of the characters were strongly written, the seeds of story arcs were well-planted, and the themes were often perfectly executed. Were there missteps? OH yeah, you can still see that the writers weren’t sure of what to do at first before finding their groove halfway through this season. Even then, though, I was surprised by how much I was getting into it. After memories about how flawed the show would end up becoming, I forgot how REALLY GOOD the majority of it was, especially in Season One. It marks a great start for a great series that I’m glad to revisit. However, the question remains: How is the REST of the series? And I’ll be happy to answer that…in time. I’ll get to seasons two through five, PLUS the movie, PLUS Steven Universe: Future eventually. Plus, I need to get back to watching Doctor Who/Dreamworks for THEIR reviews and rankings, so…You know. We’ll space these out. For now, I’ll stick to my sentiment that Season One is a lot better than you’d think, with hopefully the rest of the series having a similar feel to them as well.

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character/story influences tag

rules: write up a blurb or make a visual collage of the people or characters (from books, TV shows, movies, etc.) that inspired your story and/or OC, either visually, personality wise, or just a general vibe

thanks for the tag @tricoufamily :DD i am tagging @gunthermunch @lucidicer @itsmariejanel @orphyd @goldenwaves this is FUN u should do it. thank u

medias/characters meet me in the woods: man in the dark (paul auster), orlando (virginia woolf), lord huron's entire discography, specifically meet me in the woods and the ghost on the shore, the godfather 1972 (barely), age of adaline 2015, the old guard 2020, this specific cc cross, and reading homer's the iliad in my final year of high school. somehow don't go where i can't follow: the raven cycle (maggie stiefvater), his dark materials (philip pullman), adventure time 2010-2018, mitski’s bury me at makeout creek album, next of kin by alvvays, bite the hand by boygenius, matilda (roald dahl) (jokingly), horrible no good homoerotic teenage friendships, the chosen one trope, and this post by tumblr user @/louisegluckpdf. also my life which explains why the aesthetic is completely disjointed RIP violent affairs (with @lucidicer): nbc hannibal, bones and all 2022, arachnids, ethel cain’s preacher's daughter, sir chloe’s i am the dog album, mine and olli's deranged combined mental energies mutually focusing on t4t cannibalism  vinny reign: matt murdock (netflix daredevil), joel miller (tlou), the fallen angel painting by alexandre cabanel, caravaggio paintings, catholic guilt, arsonist’s lullabye by hozier caleb vatore: those italian twinks that renaissance artists kept referencing to paint religious figures, dorian gray, orlando, timothee chalamet (LMAO), the reveal that the noo don’t kill yourself you’re so sexy guy is a twink [redacted] morrow: gojo satoru, howl pendragon (studio ghibli), jay gatsby, kageyama shigeo and also a bit of reigen arataka (mp100), ronan lynch and gansey (the raven cycle), eden's entire discography, birdcage by novo amor, mercy by sir chloe, myself ophelia griffin: ophelia painting by john everett millais, blue sargent (the raven cycle), clairo, phoebe bridger's discography, strawberry blonde and your best american girl by mitski, clairo’s immunity album, the first crush i ever had manny pluto: yotasuke takahashi (blue period), tbh a lot of blue period in general, alhaitham (genshin impact), adam parrish (the raven cycle), a hint of geto suguru, working for the knife by mitski nayef al karim: spiders, abel AND cain, julian slowik (the menu 2022), hannibal lecter (yes obvious i know but moreso the focus on fine dining as opposed to the psychology), stewy hosseini (succession), inbred by ethel cain