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#WHY ARENT WE TALKING ABOUT THIS?? IM GOING TO FUCKING THROW UP
nyxofdemons · 1 year
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i'm sorry but stolas bound and powerless and tortured to tears still pushing himself off the ground snarling threats at the man who would dare even mention his daughter. the breathless all-consuming fury that striker would dare to speak a word about her. stolas knows striker is going to kill him and could make it painful beyond imagination and the only thing he cares about in this moment is octavia's safety why the fuck aren't we talking about this scene more
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jvzebel-x · 1 year
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🦋
#hmmmm.#so i know that like. i come across-- pretty purposefully i knowww lmao-- as someone who Hates doctors#(&like. perhaps medical personnel in general lmao.)#i will give that this is a fair assessment based on my semi-regular bitching. lmao.#but also like i deal w medical personnel&aspiring medical personnel like. a lot lmao.#the actual amount of these ppl i deal w vs the percentage that i go ballistic over makes it a nonissue as far as im concerned lmao.#(actually quite reminiscent of when ppl accuse me of hating yt ppl just bc i complain about them specifically as if i dont live in portland#where the percentage of these ppl i deal w is damn near 100%&would be if i didnt purposefully go out of my way to change that lmao.#it is not my fault that i deal w specific things that can be chalked up to specific categorizations&am willing to note why that is lmao.)#anyway so i had to work around a new oncologist for a variety of reasons lmao&the new doc i have also specializes in#disordered eating which i guess makes sense as a gastric&intestinal focused oncologist&we had the most fascinating preintake convo.#lately my gastroparesis has been like. absurdly bad lmao. its always been a problem but the last couple months ive been dropping weight#again like crazy bc my food isnt getting digested-- just thrown back up after a few hours bc human bodies arent meant to ferment shit lmao.#the meds i started taking a bit ago for it have been helping but not enough to help me gain any weight back-- im back to being#solidly under a 100lbs lmao&its been wreaking havok all over like. everything. lmao.#something something this is likely due in part to the Bad mania lmao. but seeing as im probably stuck w my fucked up head#regardless of the nature or nurture of it all as w most of this shit it doesnt really matter i just need to find a way to fix it lmao.#so anyway we were talking about the mental issues that are starting to surface-- bc if i throw fucking everything up i dont want to eat#(which is i guess the mirror version of what my problem was for YEARS before my diagnosis when i would eat whatever the fuck i wanted#bc it all caused me pain no matter what so if its a choice between a salad&beef jerky+coke+ice cream its literally a no brainer lmao.)#(... i actually won more than one ice cream eating contest back when it was still a thing i could do back home lmao.)#but anyway part of my thing right now is also like. im having a difficult time wanting to eat bc theres the obvious fact that cooking#for myself feels like a huge waste of time&energy if im just going to puke it all back up&be in pain again anyway.#&the other part of my thing right now is that i fucking hate wasting the amount of food im wasting doing this shit.#both these problems are like. life long problems that any permadisabled poor person will def recognize lmao#but lately its been SO BAD. the holy trinity of wasted time+money+food has literally just been too fucking much lmao.#&the doc thus far is really receptive to the practical problems like this as well as the more specific to me+nuanced problems#which is just. so incredibly relieving. at least for right now lmao.
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bestpigeon · 7 months
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THE FALLEN ONE
LUCIFER X MALE READER
You, an angel, betrayed heaven and refused to kill demons. How will this go?
Words- 1.4k
Warnings- swearing, gore, fighting, gay
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It was extermination day. How exciting.  The truth is, i genrally despise extermination day. We get sent down to hell to kill souls. yeah, theyre evil and in the pits of hell for a reasom. however i dont believe that its the right thing to do. i mean, its still souls were killing. They dont deserve death. Were not very angelic if were killing souls? For what, so they wont revolt? They will anyways.
Adam was giving us a pep talk. I was on the front lines since im a worthy soldier. Adam was talking, shouting, about Vaggie. Vaggie betrayed us ages ago, Lutes long life plan is to kill her and rip out her other eyes or something. I sniker at the thought and i get a large death stare from Lute. Adam then shouts something that i didnt care enough to listen and everyone started charging through the portal and into hell. I fly down into the dome that some percular demon had created. It was all green and weird.
I land and look at the other angels either killing canibals, or getting killed themself. i scurry into a corner and hide near some broken rubble. I suddenly hear a chuckle. i whip my head in panic to.. shit, Lute.
"well well well. Really thought youd slack and get away with it?! this isnt the first time ive.. caught you avoiding battle." she says as she chuckles at my patheticness.
I roll my eyes and stand up. I flap my beautiful and delicate white angelic wings behind me. I turn my mask to face Lute.
"what? all to join in on killing souls? They arent innocent, yeah, but.. they dont deserve this-" i say before getting lunged at. Lute jumps ontop of me and we tumble backwards. I groan in agony and annoyance
"your so fucking pathetic. how about you join Vaggie? You and that bitch can rot down here. Worthless fu-" she says as she grits her teeth. I interup her by thrusting her off my lap and kicking her aggressivly with my legs. I stand up and point my spear at her.
"i am NOT going to join in with this shit anymore! you will not control me like the freak you are" I say as i squint my eyes under my mask. I didnt want to be controlled like a peasent, a doll, a puppet. Not anymore.
She laughs and stand up clearly pissed. She glares at me before thrusting her spear near my stomach. Like the trained angel fighter i am, i quickly dodge it easily. We fight back and back for a while. Both throwing some degrading. Some Lunges, spear attacks, grunting later, Lute has me pinned to the floor with a spear aimed at my head. I look up at her with nothing but hate and anger.
"Fucking kill me- Just like you did to Vag-" I say in anger, before getting interupted with a spear being jabbed into my leg. I scream out in pain as the angelic spear peirces the flesh on my leg.
"Yeah, us angels kill pathetic souls like you. People who dont deserve life, or the honourous position your in" She says as she lifts her spear up, prepaired to finish me off, finally. Then, out of the blue, Lute gets blasted with angelic power. I flinch and cover my face in worry. It was another angel, so i thought. Until i looked up and saw the King of hell himself. I leaned on the floor on my elbows before quickly pulling myself backwards. It was..over? All the angels were leaving, going back to heaven, including Lute.
Lucifer approaches me and knees beside me, he glares at my with symapthy. My mask was half cracked, you could see half of my face. "you alright kid?" he says as i looks down at my legs.
"um..yeah, im alright apart from the yknow, big slash in my leg-" I say before i clear my throat.
"why did you help me? Im an angelic warrior, im on the other side..?" I say confused as i cock up an eyebrow. Lucifer chuckles and smiles warmly. I thought it was a big perculiar, i mean demons being nice?
"I couldnt help but overhear your conversation while fighting Adam, by the way i absolutly destroyed Adam- anyways, your not like the other angels." He says as adjusts his beautiful white and red wings behind him. Though his wings were like mine, they still were different. More majestic i should say.
"mh..yeah well i dont agree with the extermination.. yknow? killing innocent- well not innocent, but killing souls in genral.. its, not something us angels should do." I say, as i spoke i kept eye contact the whole time. I could see the visible change in Lucifers expression. It seemed to soften, he clearly shared the same opinions as me.
"right, exactly the reason i saved you. You think like a real angel. well, now your in hell, but..better then death, right?" I coudnt help but notice he started to move his arms, one around my lefs anad the other around my back. He, bridal style, picked me up and held me in his arms. I gasp and i tense slightly. I glare up at him and he smiles at me before bringing me to the other demons.
He puts his hand on my leg and heals it, he closes his eyes as he does so. I couldnt help but realise how pretty he was. I blush at the thought before he puts my down on the floor. I smile when i realise my leg was healed finally.
"thank you" I say quietly. I see a collection of other demons looking at me weirdly, i dont blame them, im meant to be trying to kill them afterall. I smile awkwardly before Lucifer wraps his arm around my neck and pulls my to the group of demons. Some blonde demon approached me, her name was Charlie, Lucifers daughter.
"hey..? dad why is there an angel here?" she questions as she steps a step infront of me and twists her head. I look at her awkwardly and i cant help but notice vaggies peircing eyes stare aggressivly at me.
"um..im joining you? i guess? i betrayed the angels. Its just..not right to kill souls without reason." I say, i see Charlies face light up slightly. I feel Lucifers hands go onto my shoudlers.
"See Char Char! Hes on our side." He says i blush slightly when he gets really close, he leaned his head near my shoulder. Vaggies feirce appearence calmed slightly, though it was clear shes still on edge.
"oh! well hi! Its nice to meet you! Its amazing when we have other members of the Hazbin Hotel!" She says before she hugs me. I gasp when she lunges towards me and i flinch, my eyebrows lift in confusion but i hugged back soon as later. I didnt think kind souls existed in hell, maybe it isnt that bad?
I smile awkwardly. "Thank you- i appriciate it" I say as Charlie steps back and smiles at Vaggie. I notice the other demons were just doing whatever, mainly chatting and laughing together. I cant help but smile. Demons arnt that bad?
I feel the hands on my shoulders move and turn me around. I glare down at Lucifer, huh, didnt know he was that short.
"Are you all healed?" He says as he touches my waist and stomach to check if i was okay. I blush slighty and chuckle awkwardly. "yeah- yeah im fine your majesty"
"please, its Lucifer, and im glad your alright." He says as he smiles warmly at me, i return the smile.
"They might take a while, but they should warm up. Angels dont do well round here, but they will adjust." He says as he smiles. His hands were still on my shoulders.
"alright, im thankful still, thanks for helping me. Lute would have killed back there." I say smiling at him. He chuckles before walking towards his daughter.
I watch as he leaves. My thoughs are bombarded with all different things. Am i in the Hazbin hotel now? Hell can be nice? Well somewhat, i mean, i did nearly die down here.
Maybe, just maybe hell isn't too bad? My thoughts get interrupted by a huge explosion behind me, i turn to see a few demons ripping an angels wings to death. I squint in disgust, realising i should get us to that. Other than that, this couldn't be that bad.. I might even like it here.
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ehh-is-the-name · 14 days
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I ENTIRELY disagree with your statement that cobs and mephone are one in the same. They just arent!!! they arent!!!! it's comparing a person who Was Abused to their Abuser. And i think thats really dangerous, especially because cobs did things knowingly and out of ill will and is absolutely manipulating suitcase and knife in his speech to them, but also because mephone literally has/had no fucking idea he created the contestants.
theres something wildly different between creating a fantasy UNKNOWINGLY where everything goes your way (kinda- i'll yap about that later) and you have your contestants and your show where you can be the perfect host you always wanted to be!!... And creating Sentient Beings (who you know are sentient) and sending them off TO WAR only to physically and emotionally abuse one of them when he comes back with Only ONE of the children you sent him to steal. like. Fellow mephone apologist, he's not really that bad!!!! there is hope!!!
Back to the whole. 'everythign goes his way' thing- A key difference between Cobs and Mephone to me is that Mephone, not even knowing he created the contestants, doesn't force them to do anything. He's kinda... dumb? like, let's be real, his biggest threats come up to 'you'll be kicked off the show' and yada yada... Like. take Marshmallow.
He (UNKNOWINGLY) created marshmallow to be on HIS show. But when she chose to leave... he didn't stop her. And yes, he knew she left because of his confrontation of mepad where he expressly asks him 'why did you let marshmallow leave?' Mephone 100% KNEW. but he didn't stop her (nor apple, for that matter) from going off and starting a life of their own.
MEPHONE DOESN'T WANT CONTROL OF HIS CONTESTANTS LIVES.
Yes, he's a jerk, YES, He's absolutely terrible to his contestants sometimes, and YES, he will have to deal with the consequences of his actions.
BUT. He's not anything like cobs-- at least, not where it matters.
Cobs tried to kill mephone, multiple times, when mephone tried to start his own life. Mephone views his contestants as real, sentient people- Cobs doesn't! He sees the contestants as toys, if anything... And he sees his own creations as tools. Valuable tools.
So like. what im trying to say. Is uhhh sorry for yapping so long and i hope you have an awesome day!!! I've just seen this whole Mephone=cobs thing going around and it gave me a headache SO SORRY FOR MAKING YOU DEAL WITH IT </3 but i do hope thsi was informative!
First off- LET'S GO I LOVE II DISCORSE THANK YOU FOR RESPONDING THIS IS WHAT COMMUNITY'S ALL ABOUT!!
Anyway, I will say, that I'm giving you a hug and crying into your shoulders for bringing up the marshmallow thing- I completely forgot about it even though we literally just saw her again (I think it's pretty clear that my priorities are ALL over the place).
Rewatching the scene I get what you're saying.
I'mma be soooo fuckin honest this scene went right the fuck over my head, and by that, I mean I didn't know if Mephone was being genuine with his confusion or fuckin' anything actually. When I say ii 16 has killed me and left me rotting in a gutter, I'm so serious. Mentally I am in a gutter and your ask has at least rolled me back on the curb so I can breathe air instead of sewer water.
Literally reading your thing has made me remember other posts I have seen and taken to heart about this phone, like examples A and B. (They're both tumblr analyses that are kinda outdated 'cause of the bombshell but still pretty good imo). Mephone DOESN'T want to control the contestant's lives and, although he can be a dickwad at times, he still cares about them. Though is that just because they're his OCs in a way? I-
I say all that but I'm also like, I don't want to be completely throwing away everything Cobs is saying just because I feel ill every time he talks. You right, it's very clear that this whole thing is heavy with the manipulation but fuck man I think I'm just easily manipulated... I'm being so serious when I say I lost what hte fuck I was typing in the middle of this and I don't think it's coming back to me. I rolled back in the gutter, sewer water is my home I fucking guess.
Anyone who's listening to me at this point- I don't recommend it I actually don't know what the fuck is happening. I think I still have it in my head that Mephone knows about the whole "making the contestants thing" which makes it hard to fully embrace what you're saying. I should clarify tho:
Mephone and Cobs aren't the same, but the things he's indirectly picked up from Cobs (because of his abuse) are presenting harder than I thought originally. And I think that's what I really meant when I wrote the note. Or at least, that's how I feel now. It's been a couple days since I wrote the stuff in the blockquote. That's the best way to explain how I feel about the Mephone = Cobs situation—yes, but genuinely, in all honestly, no they're not the same.
And do not be ashamed of ranting, really, we love it here. Plus, my friend called this the 9/11 of inanimate insanity and yeah there's a lot of fallout and theories rn. Perfect time for discourse 'cause we're all going through the wringer.
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eldrbraus · 2 years
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TWISTED WONDERLAND BOOK 7 CHAPTER 2 SPOILERS. (summary, kinda. dont trust me a lot on literal translations its more of a general summary and i could be wrong with some things. also its kind of live reaction so. yeah. this shit is long btw. too much lore.)
no spoilers in tags, but beware that i will be spoiling the whole chapter for people who cant wait for the full translation/people who cant read it
we begin.
>lilia is asking malleus to use the dorm for a “im going away lol” party that apparently the whole dorm is organizing??? damn lilia way to make malleus sad lmao
>MALLEUS IS INVITED!!!!!!! HES INVITED HE GOT AN INVITATION AND EVERYTHING!!! SOBS. he even accepts it this is a glorious day for dragonchan
>uhhh something i dont fully understand but goes along the lines of malleus.. had gao gao kun.. FOR 17 YEARS??? AND WHEN SOMETHING HAPPENED TO THE TOY HE WOULD GO TO LILIAS HOUSE FOR HIM TO HELP HIM??? omg thats so fucking cute help
>basically more talk about how time goes away way too fast for malleus
>lilia comments how the more time you spend with someone the harder it is to say goodbye (bestie arent you going away like too easily then? sus.)
>lilia left and OOP. MORE MALLEUS BLOT. NOT GOOD. malmal is very confused??
>lilia goodbye party already??? wtf thats fast
>so apparently every single character is going to be here (almost...)
>hmh where the fuck is malleus? lol what
>trey says something along the lines of lilia having a hmmmmmm unique??? way of cooking LMAO. lilia thanks trey for his cooking advice (YOU DIDNT LISTEN EVEN ONCE WHAT THE FUCK LILIAAA)
>cater....... hes so sad about lilia leaving the music club :((( he thanks lilia for being friends and they take a pic together waaaaa ;;
>lmao leona appeared and lilia is teasing him so much bcs leona is glad to not see lilia again
>LEONA WANTS TO LEAVE BUT RUGGIE SAID “NO??? THIS IS FREE FOOD??? R U DUMB” HELP
>octavinelle time! lilia basically gives all of them advice (azul dont be too greedy or it will kill you wwwww)
>floyd says something like “why are you leaving actually” and lilia says something along the lines of “i dont want you to see the ?? me?” the what you i didnt understand that part what are you hiding little bitch
>KALIM BASICALLY SAID THAT IF LILIA GOES TO HIS COUNTRY HE WOULD HAVE VIP TREATMENT FROM HIS FAMILY HELLO? and jamil comments how kalim wanted to gift him an instrument but they needed a TRUCK TO MOVE IT???? tf were you giving him, an organ?
>now to pomefiore, vil comments how malleus restored his beauty at the end of book 6 and wonders if they can do a magic transfer (?) of the same type to lilia and he says nah
>BECAUSE HES JUST OLD
>pomefiore is like ? arent you the same age as us
>LORE BOMBSHELL, LILIA SAYS HES ALMOST 700 YEARS OLD??????? (way less than i expected?? lol)
>LMAO THEYRE SO SURPRISED. rook asked if malleus is as old as lilia and lilia said that malleus is younger??? or that hes as old as them??? i didnt get that very well but something along the lines of malleus being way younger than lilia basically
>lilias family members are supposed to reach 1000 years old but apparently lilia was to eager? well not that, like he fucked up by playing too many games and that somehow made him old very fast? what (i think this might be a misstranslation help because it doesnt make a lot of sense. but something along the lines of lilia being 700 or so and his family being much older usually but him not reaching that age)
>cant remember exactly where it was but lilia also coments about how the dragons usually live much longer and that 1000 years for them is like peak maturity, when they become adults
>IDIA IS CRYING BECAUSE HIS GAMER FRIEND IS RETIRING FROM GAMING BUT HE WONT FUCKING CONNECT THE DOTS AND REALIZE ITS LILIA LMAO
>HE FORGOT TO ASK HIM HIS CONTACTS HELPPPPP
>also apparently him and lilia were their own best and first friends in online games?
>oh malleus and silver time! theyre in the main road to the main building 
>malleus is throwing a mild tantrum (?) and he made snow??? apparently
>silver fucking crying because he wasnt able to do anything for his dad bruh malleus feels the same
>more malleus blot?? what the fuck thats fast
>UH OH MALLEUS HAS AN IDEA. that cant be good.
>back to the party, first years time
>basically all thank lilia for everything
>i think ortho knows about lilia and idia being gamer friends but wont tell them??? he just said that idia didnt want to come and hands lilia a list of everything idia is playing (and lilia is surpised because most of the games are the same BUT HE WONT REALIZE) so maybe they can play a match before he retires i guess???? theyre so close to finding out but they wont fucking do it im going insane
>idia didnt come to the aprty btw he is the only character that is not there because he was mourning his friend quitting the game lmao
>lilia thanks yuu once again for being friends with malleus?
>HUH? A DREAM???? BUT YUU IS NOT ASLEEP TF
>yuu asks lilia if they can do anything for him and lilia asks the first years to be friends with sebek because poor croc hasnt made a single friend rip
>lilia apologized for sebeks behaviour bcs ace i believe said that he was so rude and said to sebek to behave but sebek.... refuses? lol
>LILIA IS GOING ALREADY AND MALLEUS AND SILVER ARE NOT BACK YET STOP.
>apparently lilias card for nrc arrived 500 years ago but he didnt care back then? so when malleus received his much later he went along with him (and he thanks crowley for letting him enter the school 500 years later lol)
>LILIA IS GOING
>MALLEUS AND SILVER ARRIVED ON TIME!
>malleus is really happy everyone is there
>??? the party said that no gift was needed but malleus is brining lilia a gift anyways, a “blessing”. uhhhh. 
>m. malleus is like way too happy about this. hes saying something along the lines of “today we dont celebrate an end but a beginning” uh. not good.
>this bitch is way too happy tf
>BASICALLY MALLEUS PLAN IS THE MUGEN TSUKUYOMI HELP?
>ORTHO IMMEDIATELY DETECTED BLOT RISING
>crowley is fucking alarmed and he lets everyone use their magic 
>malleus regular battle HE HAS 300K HP AND REGENS 60K EVERY SINGLE TURN??????? BASICALLY AN IMPOSSIBLE BATTLE LIKE THE FIRST BATTLE IN THE GAME AGAINST THE CHIMERA
>you will lose this battle
>lilia tried to make magic to stop him but says something like “this body cant even do magic like that anymore?!” tf you mean “this body” do you have other bodies like dottore or what
>everyone is scared shitless HUH
>lilia is now insulting malleus calling him a dumbass or smth and saying that he doesnt know what hes doing and malleus screams that hes doing this to not lose him HELP
>sebek and silver are trying to calm things down, it obviously doesnt work
>malleus says something about grabbing his hand??? scary
>he gave his blessing! its a long ass spell btw. i think his “blessing” is his unique magic
>DAMN THAT LILIA SCREAM
>MALLEUS FUCKING OVERBLOTS. ALREADY???
>THE WHOLE SCHOOL WAS COVERED IN THORNS AND EVERYONE FALLS ASLEEP???
>malleus saying something about 1000 years will pass very quick wtf
>”you will become the heroes of the story”? malmal says something like that
>AND NOW
>AND FUCKING NOW
>WE RETURN TO THE TWISTED WONDERLAND LOGO. THE ONE FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME. WHILE MALLEUS HUMMS ONCE UPON A DREAM.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT.
THE TIME LOOP THEORY? HUH?
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thatcheeseycandle · 1 month
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SPOILERS FOR YIAU: IPOS CHP. 38, "6XX66 - Merry Hampton"
——
Hi hello, currently me before posting this looking over the post to add in stuff I couldnt type down, so sorry for the delays on promised posts considering I'm at a hotel with my parents to visit family)
But thankfully by the time I'm posting this, it's the last day before I go home tomorrow so hopefully I can speedrun some projects to throw them here
And ah the the paragraph with a bold font will explain why this reaction was so late
——
//IM IN THE CAR AS OF STARTING THIS, HEADING BACK TO THE HOTEL (CAUSE YEAH I WENT TO ONE WITH MY PARENTS TO VISIT FAMILY), I REBLOGGED THE CHAPTER
ITS HERE OHMYGOAPAHADNAUAHOAH
IM EXPLODING SO MUCH IM HOLDING IN SO MUCH-
AND WE START IT OFF WITH TYDFIL WOOOOOOOOOOOO
AAAAAANDDD I HAD TO FRESHEN UP, OKAY LETS CONTINUE YEAH
Tydfil TYDFIL AH NOO :(
Current me here, insert a bit where I go silent reading and how I dont know how to word my thoughts in this. I remember my feelings being mixed between guilt and anger towards Merfyn 6024
Fuck wait ITS BLACK SMOKE AH NOOOOO SNAP OUT OF IT TYDFIL
"She felt like her boiler was about to up off her frames in fright" HOLY GOD????? CHRIST SOMEONE HELP THE POOR GIRL SHES HAD ENOUGH-
NO TYDFIL NO NO DONT DO THAT TO YOUR BRAKES EVEN MORE NOO
"She wanted her comforting reassuring presence but every time she called out to the old, kind engine there was no answer. Tydfil truly was alone." MY GOD. THIS. AAAAAAMYGOD
NOTYDFIL NO THEY ARENT GONNA BE AFTER YOU NO NO IS ALL OKAY- NO TYDFIL NOOO
OI STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER OR I SWEAR TO GOD
What the
OH.
Ay ay AY HENRY??? HENRY ITS HIM LETS GOOO
This is a very interesting pair up, now Im curious how this goes👀
"This had to be some sort of trick, right? This Henry was tricking her, trying to decieve her like all the rest." nO NOO NO HE ISNT
BUT SHIT SHE ISNT GOKNNA BELIEVE THAT, SHES TRAUMATISED ENOGUH
Yet again, current me before posting this here, I loved this scene between Tydfil and Henry where it's just mainly dialogue (until Tydfil breaks it with her audacity LMAO) its a relaxing sort of scene to read. Especially after the whole adventure that is me and my parents making our way back to the hotel room lol
"What's the point of this?! This is stupid!" tYDFIL LMAOOO TYDFIL YOU NEEDA CALM YOUR SHITE
"Edward speaks highly of you" FUCK YEAAAHHHHH THEIR RELATIONSHIPS ARE TYING EACHOTHER AND ARE USEFUL WOOOOOOO
LOVE IT
"Why would someone try to hurt me if I was a good engine?" GOSH DAMN. DAMN I
THE FIRST SHOT, PREPARING MYSELF
Now that THATS REAL TALK, POSITIVE REAL TALK, APPLAUSE FOR HENRY RQ CAUSE DAMN
And this is another unique dynamic I look forward to seeing in the future, I cant describe the feeling of it but Im getting uncle and niece vibes from them, but either way I LOVE EHM
wHAT THE FUCK
RHION AY ITS RHION ITS HIM
FUCK RIGHT, BLACKSMOKE, YEAH.
"The Black Smoke, or whatever Ms Parsons had done to him had completely and utterly stripped him of any warmth, any hope, any semblance of warmth" Ms Parsons when I catch your arse WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YOU I SWEAR TO GOD
Okay yeah Im gonna appear a lot from the current, this scene, my heart ACHED I tell you ACHED. RHION YOU POOR SOUL (I was speechless in this)
No no RHION HE ISNT YOUR BROTHER ANYMORE
Okay well he never fuckin was
WHAT THE FUCK???? WHAT AND/OR WHO IS THIS
Current me, I dropped my reading device, and I nearly fell off the bed in this
DROP THE FUCKING SHITE WHAT
BUT HES- WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING OONNNN??????????????????????????
NO RHION NOOOOAOAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO BO DONT YOU FUCKING DO THIS NO NOOOOOOOOO
MALLARD I SWEAR TO GOD
WHAT????? WHAT WHAT HUH
NOAOAOAOAOOOOAOAAOAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAOSOAOAOOOOO RHION NAOAOOO FUCK NOOOO
HE CANT BE FUCKING DEAD NO. NO HE CANT PLEAAAAAASSEEE
Summary of that rant to this bit: FUCK YOU 6024 AND MS PARSONS, I WILL BE AFTER YOU I SWEAR TO GOD
Okay OKAY YEAH. LETS GO INTO THE NEXT BIT.
What the fuck- WAIT WAAIAPSHSNAKABDDKHFBDOSHDHDXJ
POLLYPOFLTAJAOSBDLZGCNSIFN
CALM, CALM OKAY CALM.
What the fuck WHAT THE FUCK WHAY FUAOAKAPPAPAOAAOAO WHAT WHAT
WHERE THE FICK IS POLLY???????????????????
Ay AY A\Y AY AY AY ITS THE BOOK THE JOURNAL FIAUAPDJNDIABHDS
ITS THE BOOK OHMYGOD
ITS NORTHS JOURNAL
THIS IS OUR VERSION OF THE GRAVITY FALLS JOURNALS. OH MY GOD.
Norths sealshspa NORTHS SEAL???????????
NORTH AHS A FUCKING SEAL?????????
Now this is a detail I'll be keeping an eye out for if there are more GNJournal entries (or anything that shows North's journal) coming
MERYEGAKAPAUSVZVUKAOSXHDJCJCJCJUUUUJH
MERRY HAMPTON
OKAY WERE HERE
THIS IS HAPPENING
OKAY
TORN?????? RORN
ToahhaISHSKAJ
OKAY YES, RIGHT
I swear if its black smoke, I SWEAR- PRAYING THOSE FEELINGS ARENT THAT. NOT AFTER LAST TIME
"Yet, Olivia had the very distinct feeling that the answers lay within this journal." nO SHIT SHERLOCK OHMYGOAOHA
Necklace NECKLAAIAOAOAAIAHSAO NECKLACE ITS THE NECKLACE ITS THE RAVEN PENDANT IM FUCKING CALLING IT
FUCKWUAYDKAAA MY NINAGS COMIG SHITSHITSHITSHIT
Okay Im on the roof deck, dark mocha latte for the evening, LETS MAKE THIS EVENING BETTER
Ay AY WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS POLLY APOLOGISING WHY ARE YOU APOLOGISING OHMYGOD WHY DID YOU SAY THAT??????
So wait. Let me get this straight before I go bonkers; North doesnt have one journal but many journals for each engine he's most likely revived, and the first GNJournal entry we saw was actually Merry Hampton's journal/record
Thats. THATS ACTUALLY SMART HELLO?? North is upping his game right here, a true researcher!
What the fuck. WAIT. WHAT THW FUCK IS THIS?? THERES A DATE. WAIR WAIR-
IS THIS LIKE HOW EVERY OAGE IS, IT HAS LIKE A "GWR: [], LMS: [], LNER [], SR [], etc" TYPE THING??
Wait, whats with SR here?? Ill be noting that down, thats suspicious
Stanier tried saving him. I
HE TRIED SAVING NORTH, HOLY GOD
So they used black smoke, SO THIS PROVES THAT BLACK SMOKE IS ACKNOWLEDGED TO BE SOMETHING GOOD. LIKE AS IN IT CAN BE USED TO RELIEF PAIN LIKE PAIN KILLERS.
HOLYFUCK STANIER KNEW MORE INTO GOLD DUST??????? HE KNEW????????? FAILED EXPERIMENTS?????????? WHATTHEFUCK DOES THIS MAN KNOW HOLYGOD
OKAY SO, SIR GRESLEY KNEW THEN PASSED IT TO PEPPERCORN THEN WAS PASSED TO STANIER. Im guessing Peppercorn wouldve done it around the time before, during, or after Sir Gresley had passed considering the flashback in Chp. 26 where Sir Gresley and North were talking about the war
Oh shit. So Stanier was dying- HE WAS DYING. FUCK THIS IS THRILLING AND TENSE
THE COTTAGE WAS HIS???????? OKAY SO ITS BASICALLY A STUDENT BECOMING A MENTOR TO KEEP THE CYCLE GOING FOR OTHER STUDENTS TO BECOME A MENTOR, CONTINUING THE LINE OF KNOWLEDGE.
So that confirms one of my smaller theories, Stanier was indeed a mentor to North (that was just a theory out of shits and giggles..)
WOAH SHIT OKAY UH WEEW. LNER ROSE UP REAL FAST.
Oh OH. DAMN.
No fucking way NO WAY HE KNEW ALAN PEGLER??????? Okay well he did know the A1 Trust anyway, so why am I surprised LMAOO BUT I MEAN IT STILL IS HALF A SURPRISE
No NO WHAT WDYM WHATAAA WHAT WHAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT
WAIT SO, THSI MEANS THAT A CORONATION HAS A REVIVED CONTRUCT. ONE FO THEM.
Golden Circle GOLDENCIRLAGAKAOAAH
SO HE WAS INDEED IN THE GOLDEN CIRCLE.
EughFOCK OKAY THE LNER IS STILL IN FIRST PLACE.. IM WORRIED
WHAT THE FUCK??? WHAT.
WAIT WAIR, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??
Cause look, from what I know, there are a decent amount of Wardens for the LMS around that time period, humans and engines.
It. IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE WHAT THE FUCK
"The Black 5 if furious and threatens to crack my skull open." Surprisingly the most normal threat North has recieved so far. Damn.
Wait WAIT. HE ISNT A RUNAWAY??? HES NOT- HES A KICKED OUT MEMBER, IS WHAT IM UNDERSTANDING FROM THIS.
IFUCKINGCAAAAALLEDDDDD IT I CALLED IT OHMYGOD I CALLED IT. SIR GRESLEY STARTED IT WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Fuck wait WAIT WHAT. WELL FUCK OKAY THATS VERY BAD. BAD.
"Perhaps that was all it ever was, a dream." GOSH DAAMN. DAMN OKAY
I AM GETTING MORE CONCERNED AS I READ THIS.
Okay a one month timeskip, WHATTHEFUCK
WHAAT. 25?????????????
I
I CAAAALLEDDDD IT I CALLED IT OHMYGOD YEAAAASSSS YES YESSSSSSSSSSS LETS GOOOO
ENGINES SAVED BY WORKMEN BY THEM HIDING SAID ENGINES YEAAAAAAAAASSSS
Rooster. OKAY SO THAT CONFIRMS IT, ROOSTER CAME AFTER NORTH DID. OKAY GOOD. THATS YEAAASSS
J CLASS MENTION WOOOOOOOOO
Wair WAIT WAIT PEPPERCORNS. WAIT SO. WAAAAIT. WAIT WAIT OHMYGOD WAIT
THIS DOESNT CLEARLY CONFIRM IT, BUT IT MIGHT BE HINTING AT HOW KESTREL/KHLOE IS A REVIVED CONSTRUCT RN
But but, it still raises the question, WHAT WERE THEY REVIVED WITH??? WAS IT WITH GOLD DUST OR ARE THEY SILVER SOULS?????????
Wait FIGHT?????? HOLYGOD THERE WAS A WAR. THERE
ANARCHY, OF COURSE IT WOULDVE HAPPENED
So then. Okay SO NORTHS GOAL; SAVE SIBLINGS
I
——
Okay so ah, before I continue this, let me just say this:
The next bits I reacted to were just WIPED OUT by tumblr when I tried saving it yesterday in my drafts, but thankfully Im running on naps, caffiene, and some hours of sleep cause I know I forgot how I reacted and what I did react to (considering this was a first read so yeah)
As of writing this little explanation it's the second day I'll be staying here at this hotel before going home, starting up back the reaction below this paragraph at around 5 am rn (wow I woke up early, not complaining though)
So basically LETS CONTINUE THIS REACTION FROM WHATS BEEN LEFT, RUNNING ON HOPES AND DREAMS EDITION!
——
Oh OH SEPTEMBER 16TH
THATS POLLYS SCRAP DATE ISNT IT??
And IT FUCKING IS LETS GOO
WOOOOOOOOO LETS GO NORTH ANOTHER WIN
I POLLY?? Okay well of course shes doing that, its North, I think we all know she has a reason to be upset at him
Yet again, crossing off another thing that seemed impossible yet was possible, North believing things such as myths and beliefs circulating around an engine.
But then considering he has the logic to not believe in such things without a proper reason, maybe this is actually hinting at something Merry has?? Im guessing its something related to black smoke or some sort of “gold dust technique” (what the fuck am I saying)
BUT either way I still have my suspicions about her soul (both how it is in the present and past times)
Cause for some context, Ive had a theory (for a while) that Merry (or Jacqueline in the present) had black smoke inside her soul for a while in a way where Blue Peter had his black smoke stored, but in a way where it’s the cause of her cruelty as a parent.
But that was a scrapped theory since I had another theory involving Silver souls, her being one of those said silver souls in that theory.
Anywho CONTINUIJG ON LMAO
AND LETS GOOOO NORTHS GONNA SAVE HER YESSSS
But then, it would scrap my Silver Soul theory for Merry considering she hasn’t died, is what Im understanding here
“Rooster was appalled and almost threatened to kick me off his farm, a farm that I finance, I might add.” Now this sentence mADE ME WHEEZE
Ay AY AY WAIT SO SHE ISNT DEAD. OKAY RIGHT YEAH, SHE ISNT DEAD
“Merry Hampton is my sister after all.” DEVELOPMENT PEOPLE, DEVELOPMENT‼️ ‼
OH LOOKY HERE 30TH OF OCTOBER LETS GOO
IFUCKINGCALLEDIT YEEEAAAAAAASSSS YES STANIER DID HELP YEEASSSSS
AND OOH BOY NOT IN THE WAY I EXPECTED.. THIS HAS TURNED A LOT
Wait WAIT CONSTRUCG???? CONSTRUCT??
“Would go insane” and “Vessel for despair” intrigue me, cause that sounds like cold iron sleep-
Well I mean it in a way where the insanity could be where your denial of facing death leads to a spiral of insanity that makes them face it even closer, and how “vessel for despair” could be interpreted as a vessel for black smoke to feed on their despair of facing death
Okay shit I just backread a bit SO MERRY DID INDEED DIE. BUT THE QUESTION IS, WHEN DID SHE DIE???
Waoh WOAH WOAH WOAHAIAOAAHAHA ITS THE SPILLED THING ITS THE SNEAK PEAK OHMHGODOSHAOAA
IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW
THE FIRST GNJOURNAL IT MAKES SENSE NOW
MERRY AND POLLY WERENT SAVED TOGETHER NO MERRY WAS INDEED SAVED OR WAS ATTEMPTED TO BE SAVED BUT NORTH FUCKED IT UP BY GIVING HER A CRUDE CONSTRUCT AND SO THAT LEAD TO HER HAVING TO BE IDK SENT AWAY FROM HIM??
AAY AY AY LOOK ITS THE OHMFYAO
SIR GRESLEY??????? HARMING HERSELF????????? WHAT?????????
AY WAIT. SO BLACK SMOKE WAS INDEED KNOWN TO BE A PAIN KILLER OF SORTS FOR ENGINES. OKAY NOTED
Coldstreamer. CODLHEAKAPA COLDSTREAMER OHMYGOD
KINGFISHER??????????????????? WAIT SOLARIO??????????
COUNTERPART TO SCOTSMAN- BITCH I THOUGHT MALLARD WAS HIS COUNTERPART OHMYHOD
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
SO MALLARD WAS INDEED KNPWN AS A HEALER BUT HIS MEMORIES WERE WIPED OF BEING ONE.
I just fuckin realized, Mallard was just a tool, a tool to relieve pain. When he wasn't a fellow bird enjoyer that is.
Thays. THATS SO DAMN SAD MYGO
If I knew that before reading aGS, it wouldve been even more sadder istg
WHAT THE FUCK. SO THOMPSON TRIED GETTING THOSE MEMORIES BACK BUT HE FUCKED IT UP BY DESTROYING HIS SOUL
ITS LIKE TRYNA GRAB A LITTLE BITE SIZED CANDY OUT FROM A TALL GLASS VASE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, YOUR GONNA BREAK IT EITHER WAY.
HEAL MERRY HAMPTON’S CONSTRUCT??????????
Oh fuck Pollys not talking to him, shit
“All I have done is prolong her tortured existence.” YOU THINK??????? 
DAMN.
HUNDREDS???????? HUNDREDS. FOR EVERY RAILWAY. COUNT EVERY FUCKING RAILWAY AND MULTIPLY THE NUMBER OF THEM ALL WITH 100 MYGOD
Ay HOLD THE DAMN PHONE
HENDRICK WAS STORED IN A STOREROOM????
WHAT HAPPENED TO MALLARD- OH FUCK RIGHT THE YEAR
MEMORY??????? OHFUCK THEY MEMORY WIPED HER AS WELL.
Wait, black smoke feeds on any negative emotion (from what I understand), and memories can conjure said memories.
From that I can guess that Merry had black smoke used on her when reviving/reforming her into a construct but something went wrong and so CUE THE MUSIC
Woah WOAH WOAH THE LMS WARDENS, FROM THE THING, HOLYGOD
AND WAIT WAIT. SPION KOP OHMYGOD SPION
Wait, back in the server Loraine said that Spion Kop translates to Spy Head in Dutch, so then- OH.
OHIFUCKINGCAAALLEDDDDDITTTT MERRY DID HAVE BLACKSMOKE YEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSSSS
Pause rq cause JACQUELINE BYRON IS A COOL SOUNDING NAME HOLYGOD
Ay AY OKAY YEAH TIMESKIP TO ONE WEEK LATER LETS GO
I take it back its been five damn years..
Oh something's wrong, yeah NO WAY there isnt anything wrong cause THAT SOUNDS BAD. VERY BAD.
Wait. Marley Vaughan? That sounds familiar sec-
Okay I was wrong, that name doesnt belong to a GDC we know. Noting that down
Woah WOAH WHAT THE FUCK WHAT?? SPION WHAT HAPPENED????
Wait WAIT. OKAY SO- HOW. THE FUCK.
THATS WHAT IM ASKING AS WELL
Wait this would be 14 years before (from what I've conjured/theorised) Olivia was born, so does this mean she has a secret sibling or does she age slowly?? 
Ah FUCK OKAY. POLITICAL CORRUPTUON GEAH LETS DO THIS, LETS NOT GO CAUSE THAT US BAD YEAH.
HE WAS A JUBILEE?????????????????? NO. NO WAY FUCK NO. ALLISON RAY WHYY???????
“Though I do not think it was intentional on Arethusa’s part to give Merry a child” Buckle in, prepare for tough shit cause I SWEAR-
JEREMY PARSONS??????? HEREMYSAJAO JEREMY PARSONS. HOLYSHIT
STEAAAL?????????????????? STEAL. OKAY- FUCK WAIT. I MAY NOT JNOW HOW THIS JEREMY PARSONS IS RELATED TO MS PARSONS (COULD BE HER TWIN??) BUT SHIT THIS IS WHY MS PARSONS WENT FOR NORTH TO GET OLIVIA’S WHISTLE. TO CONTINUE WHATEVER JEREMY PARSONS HAD PLANNED.
HEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
WHAT THE FUCK. HES DEAD. MYGOD AND WE DIDNT EVEN KNOW MUCH ABOUT HIM OTHER THAN THE INFO THATS BEEN SHARED, SOMEONE GIVE THIS GUY A FUCKING FUNERAL MY GOD
TAKE MERRY????????????? TAKE MERRY. OHMYGOD TAKE MERRY??????
ANCHOR????????? ANCHOR, LADY, CREATOR, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS GUY ON???????
“Never have I seen someone so unhinged.” I couldn't agree more with you North, cause WHAT THE FUCK
BLACK SMOEJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
OHMYGODOAOA
OKAY THIS JSUT CLICKED IN MY MIND FOR YOU LOT TO NOTE, EVERYTHING I'M READING THAT COMES AFTER THE MARCH 8TH 1969 ENTRY IS MY FIRST TIME READING THEM.
I AM SHOCKED.
Thank GOD Hamilton and Allison came cause NY GOD THAT. THATS TENSE HOLYSHIT
YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS YEAH GET HIS ARSE INTO JAIL RIGHT NOW, SERVES HIM RIGHT FOR DOING SUCH A THING
Wait. What the fuck- WDYM ARETHUSA AND I????? YOU JUST SAID HE WAS DEAD WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON??????
IS THIS A GHOST TYPE SITUATION?????
“She is with child and the baby is everything to her now” Jacqueline Byron Vaughan YOU TRAGIC WOMAN
“My curiosity is not higher than that of Merry’s happiness.” I am not strong, THIS SENTENCE RIGHT HERE-
AWWE. THATS JUST HEART WARMING, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY TO MERRY AND HER SWEET CHILD (I am melting, like Ive said, I AM NOT STRONG)
wHAT THE FUCK. WAIT WAIT- BLACK SMOKE??????? NO FUCK WHAT NO NO NO WHAT.
MADE HER ILL?????????? MEMORIES???????? OH FOR FUCKS SAKE WHEN SOMETHING GRAND HAPPENS IT GOES DOWN HILL (WHY AM I SURPRISED??)
Remarkableblu
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJHVXHQSBJ CBSHVJ HEF HISFBC IM NOT NORMAL
AaaGYXQOHJXLSscBMVFJ  FSINBV SLVFEAIUFWFOWUDWULVVUYCDWTFURVHIVVYK.UUKUG  DQRNB.FWJJBMWF   P 2E
I NEED TO BREAARHE HOLY GOD. 
OLIVIAS MADE OUT OF GOLD DUST AND BLACK SMOKE. THIS IS WHY SHE COULD GO NEAR MALLARD IN AGS, BECAUSE SHE COULDNT BE CONTROLLED BY MALLARD'S BLACK SMOKE CAUSE SHE HAD HER OWN AND IT EXPLAINS HOW SCOTSMAN COULD SURVIVE IN HER BODY IN THE SAME SERIES.
AND THIS COULD CONFIRM HOW SHE HAD A HEART CONDITION, IT WASNT A HEART CONDITION, IT WAS BLACK SMOKE FIGHTING WITH HER GOLD DUST.
OLIVIAS A CONSTRUCT, A HYBRID CONSTRUCT, AND SO HER CHILDREN ARE THE HALF HUMAN AND HALF CONSTRUCT ONES NOT HER
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH YET QUESTIONS MUCH MORE.
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katiesautisms · 1 year
Text
Apologies to everyone who reads my posts, but the hyperfixation demands this.
Soo, Minecraft lore, if youre close to me then you know that I have been theorizing about Minecraft lore for a good while. So, here is one of the first theories ive came up with that I really like:
Heat has magical properties
Now, what do I mean by this? Well, ive noticed that in minecraft, things relating to magic (like potions, xp, etc.) can be the result of a huge ammount or sudden burst of heat!
Lets start with some small peices of evidence first: furnaces (and smokers [and blast furnaces])
To explain furnaces, I need to beifly go over xp. Xp is a PHYSICAL thing in the minecraft world, it is NOT just a gameplay mechanic. This is proven by xp bottles and how the Illagers have xp bottles in outposts (the reason for that, plus illagers in general, have to be discussed for another day, but I have the feeling that they are extremley important)
Now, furnaces, what the FUCK do they have to do with magic? Well I'll tell you!
In minecraft, you need to smelt raw ores for them to be useful, doing this grants you xp. The thing I want to direct your attention too is how ONLY ores (aka raw ores I guess, you get it) give off xp when smelted. In real life, it takes ALOT of heat to melt minerals. Possibly so much heat that the magic manifests into xp?
I do think its important to keep track of where you get xp from, since it is confirmed to be a physical item
Anyways, peace of evidence #2: more ore stuff
Coal, Redstone, Diamonds, Emeralds, Lapis, Quartz, and nether gold ore, they all drop xp.
Xp = magic = heat
All of these real life ores are made with heat or can conduct heat in real life, meaning that it makes sense that they give off xp. Redstone also conducts electricity, which gives off heat obviously, so it makes sense that theyd give off xp too
And as for nether ores, theyre in the *nether*, ofcourse theyre gonna give off heat
Admittedly im not too sure if ancient debris gives off heat, whenever I find some im too excited to mine it that I dont notice if they do or not lol
But anyways, on to #3: Lightning
Lightning in minecraft is really weird. It can convert, and even CREATE mobs that it strikes. Villagers turn into witches, pigs turn into zombified piglins, mooshrooms turn a different color, and it charges creepers (admittedly the less important attribute here)
Let me spell it out here
Witches use potions, potions rely on magic
Pigs become more sentient, smarter, and they give off, get this, MORE xp when they drop
Not sure why it converts mooshrooms though, mushrooms in general are their own can of worms
Now, for my final peice of evidence: PORTALS
The nether portal, the end portal, and that structure in the ancient city that was a portal until it wasnt, they all seem to require heat to power up for atleast ONE ingredient
Nether portals are obvious
End portals were built above lava by the Ancient Builders, ofc you dont need lava to activate it but that could either just be game mechanics throwing us a bone, or the ancient builders assumed that theyd need heat to activate the portal cus, yknow, heat = magic
And that huge part of the ancient city had soul fire beneth it. I know it isn't a portal anymore, but it definitely was at some point, hence the design implementation
One thing that could disprove this is that getting rid of fire or mining things like netherrack dont give xp, but its possible that those just arent hot enough for xp to form
Anyways, thats all I have for now in terms of Minecraft lore. @bulbasauryeee likley has more details I didnt talk about since we both theorize about the game's lore together :]
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platonicallylovesick · 3 months
Text
And now, some excerpts from my watch notes. Spoilers.
Today's victim: Bakugo. I'll highlight the ones that arent just recapping events, from the beginning of the show, to where i am now, partway through season 3.
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this is the best pic i have of him rn bear with me
"You don't stand a chance without a quirk🫵😒"
"People look at them and just know they're destined for greatness" Baby, all people see when they look at you is a near miss for FAS be so fr
I know you prolly wanna go to the big leagues hero school to escape your shitty home life or whatever, but honestly take a peek in the mirror, this is what peaking looks like
Kacchan needs to chill tf out. Dude is like 99% rage and 1% confidence. Okay so you moved up ONE GRADE and aren't the coolest bestest ever anymore, but seriously that is why it is a SCHOOL babe, it is for you TO LEARN.
this kid needs like... so much therapy. when tf do we get his backstory because like what the actual hell.
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I LOVE and ADORE Bakugo and Kirishima's relationship. He's kinda Kacchan's only friend. He can make himself as hard as a rock with his Quirk, so Kacchan's explosions have no effect on him. In a symbolic sense, his explosive personality doesnt phase him either, he's really the only one who not only tolerates Kacchan, but actively chooses to hang out w/ him. Kirishima drags him to every event and hangout to force him to get some kind of social time with the rest of the class and kinda tempers his rage. Its REALLY REALLY sweet and I love it so much
"I dont care if theyre my classmates, I wanna beat them up so Im the strongest >:(" "Yeah whatever man I love your determination >:)"
"That kid's got spunk!" "He's like a mini version of you." "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! YOU NEED TO SHUT YOUR MOUTH BEFORE I BLAST YOU ALL THE WAY TO HELL!" "Yeah sure."
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obsessed with him actually
"cmon get it bakugo!!" (Kirishima is) HIS #1 SUPPORTER
UGH I LOVE THEM SM SM SM SM SM
Kacchan and Tokoyaki (the explody angry guy and the bird headed guy) got turned into marbles and stolen by the villains
I KNOW I mentioned how much I LOVE Kirishima Because he's currently fighting with several people to let him go after Kacchan. Because he's literally his only genuine friend.
Kirishima and Kacchan are freaking everything to me right now.
okay so... they got away with Kacchan but Tokoyami was rescued AND I SWEAR DUDE THE AMOUNT OF SPICE AND ANGST BETWEEN KACCHAN AND DEKU IS INSANE THE PLEADING FOR HIM, THE WAY KACCHAN BARELY CHOKED OUT FOR DEKU TO STAY BACK SO HE WOULDNT GET HURT ANY MORE WHILE HE'S BEING HELD BY THE THROAT DUDE ITS SO FUCKING GOOD HOOOLLLYYYY SHITTTT THIS IS MY JAM
UGH NOT KIRISHIMA THROWING CAUTION AND REASON INTO THE WIND TO GO AFTER BAKUGO ON HIS OWN
THEY ARE BESTIES AND DEFINATELY MORE. I DONT KNOW WHAT KIND OF MORE, BUT THEY'RE DEFINATELY MORE.
HE PAYED KIRISHIMA THE MONEY HE SPENT TO BUY NIGHT-VISION GOGGLES FOR THE RESCUE MISSION AWWWW
WTF THATS LITERALLY THE NICEST THING WE'VE SEEN BAKUGO DO ALL FUCKING SHOW AND WE'RE ON SEASON 3
"Now i'm not in your debt" UH HUH YEAH MAN NICE COVER
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I NEED to see their ship content
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marshadowstea · 4 months
Note
I know you mean good but fat girls can also break easily. I also don’t mean to sound rude or offend you but it’s rare for fat girls to be 6 foot, I know you might be fat and 6 foot but it’s pretty rare. I think most people stick to petite girls in cod stories because it would be scary and horrifying if they gave reader their sweater and all the sudden reader fits or barely fits in it and it only works as a crop top on them. And please try to remember just because their fat doesn’t mean they aren’t clean fat girls bathe too and do their eyebrows too they aren’t slobs. Fat girls can break when they get laid and yes I believe they also will jiggle around in the process so please try to be mindful when bringing up cod guys with a fat girl
First of all, you dont need to talk to me like you know more than me. lets get one thing straight,
IM A FAT GIRL‼️ ALWAYS HAVE BEEN SINCE I WAS LITTLE‼️
“I know you mean good but,” but what? Never have i brought up something about fat girls in cod stories.
“It would be scary and horrifying if they gave readers their sweater and all the sudden reader fits or barely fits in it or uses it as a crop top” So someone not being one size is horrifying now? People having different bodies isnt horrifying or scary, it’s normal. Not everyone is going to fit the exact same fucking shirt and thats why they’re made in different sizes. And hey, not all clothes come in sizes that are big enough and thats okay too, CLOTHES ARE MEANT TO FIT YOU. YOU DO NOT NEED TO FIT YOUR CLOTHES. So if someone is horrified or scared about their clothes being to small for me, im throwing that piece of clothing back to them and getting myself something better.
“And please try to remember just because they’re fat girls doesn’t mean they aren’t clean fat girls bathe too and do their eyebrows too and arent slobs�� bitch I KNOW??? Ive been a fat girl for a long fucking time, and never have i thought “oh im fat, that doesnt mean i cant bathe” no honey, i love being clean. you say this like i dont think fat people can take showers. And the eyebrows are so fucking specific?? my eyebrows are naturally good, i dont need to do them but i have done them before and they’ve been perfect. And hey, sometimes for mental health reasons, i cant always bathe and i cant always have the time to do my makeup but none of that is because in fat and incapable of doing it.
“Fat girls can break when they get laid” Never said they couldnt. “I believe they also will jiggle around in the process” you BELIEVE. seems like you havent ever experienced it so why are you talking on it like you know everything? AND YES! SKIN MOVES AND JIGGLES, ITS NOT EXCLUSIVE FOR FAT PEOPLE!
“so please try to be mindful when bringing up cod guys with a fat girl” It seems like youre the one needing to be mindful. Clearly you dont know how fat people work, so maybe educate yourself on that first and then we can talk. also i genuinely think i have never talked about a cod guy with a fat girl so idk where this is coming from
have a good day <3
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veilkeeper · 10 months
Note
I HADN'T SEEN YOU REBLOGIGNG THAT ASK GAME!
ok so. one moment while i throw all of these at you, there will be two of these.
firstly for Roz (my beloved): 3 + 10 + 13 + 20 + 23 + 26 + 32 (im curious about the burn scars) and 48 <3
(consider the amount of questions payback, lov u <3)
oh... the quencies.... (im delighted) okay this one might take awhile
(questions from here)
3. What is your character’s moral alignment?
true neutral leaning to neutral good. they make most of their decisions from the "what benefits me/the people i care about the most" viewpoint with a little bit of the caveat "without needlessly fucking over random people"
10. If your Tav didn’t become an adventurer, what else would they be doing?
the last time they were in faerun they were making a living as a bounty hunter/contract killer in baldur's gate. they were good at it. so probably that!
13. How does your Tav fight in a combat situation?
in game mechanically a lot of their time is spent using ensnaring strike on an enemy and then shooting them until that guy is dead, rinse and repeat until the encounter ends. occasionally they'll also pop divine favour for some extra radiant damage, or cast shield of faith. in my mind palace where roz is allowed to be a powerful scion even before the tadpole, they do that but with a hefty dose of "also i can light you on fire with my mind <3"
(putting the rest under the cut)
20. If you’re romancing anyone, why did your Tav fall for them? And why did that character fall for your Tav?
ive talked about this a little bit before, but initially roz was not falling for astarion. it was like, "okay yeah we'll sleep together because you want to and i dont really care." but eventually, as roz got to start seeing a more genuine side of astarion and he started to really... mean the things he was saying to them, it became a lot more about "i think i can care about you, and maybe... just maybe... you could care about me?" and that's the sort of thing that shakes roz to their core. and coincidentally, astarion kind of goes through the same thing.
23. What is your Tav’s favorite moment they’ve had with their lover?
not you sending me questions that are making me go (*/ω\*) in real life... okay with halsin i hc back in the shadow cursed lands that he would turn into his bear form and let roz sit up cozy against him because they are always cold (they are a toothpick) and i think that was just... really nice for them. with astarion.... i think the first time they end up in roz's tent together without any blood-drinking or sex. without even the suggestion of it. that's when it first hits for roz that this might actually be about more than a transaction, so that's their favourite moment.
26. What is the most prominent color in your Tav’s color scheme?
answered here!
32. How did your Tav get their scars, if they have any?
i promised id wait for this information to be ASKED for so here we go. basically i hc that roz was from a really small creche and when they were young-ish (10-12) a training raid drew a little too much attention and the creche was attacked. and well... you know how ive said before that they arent a very good githyanki? when their creche started to burn, instead of taking up arms, they hid. everyone in that creche had either told them they should be culled or had tried to cull them, so they didn't really care if the place fell apart. however, while they were hiding, a pile of burning debris fell on them, fucking up a lot of their right side. they managed to escape the creche and do-gooder types who had no idea what was happening saw a dying kid and dragged them to the nearest temple of lathander, and the rest is history.
48.  Where does your Tav feel most at home?
not to be so so so so so sappy, but whenever they get to cuddle astarion. dont tell him this, but he's kind of. everything to them.
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raspberrysmoon · 5 months
Note
ummm please say more about the wilbur/john/xander fic right now <3 theyre my favourite guys ever and we need so much more content for them (i say as I write yet another fic not about them)
YIPPEEE YEAHHHHH LETS GOO!!!!! ok this got LONG so its all under the cut. uhm. i hope this tickles your fancy :3
i have SOOOO many thoughts abt these three tbh,,,, i had a thought last night of what it would be like if john and wilbur were engaged when wilbur. uhm. "died". but like 20 years later john's found xander and to hell with it if he can love them both. one is dead, itll be fine
except, wilburs not actually dead. he falls out of a portal and hes normal again and holy shit what does john do now. like thats still technically his fiance (and first love but shh) but his husband is Right The Fuck There
but it wnds up pretty okay. john makes sure wilbur really is okay and normal (hes as normal as he can be after being in the black for that long) and introduces them and it goes great
wilbur backs off of his own accord even though it absolutely destroys him to do so and gives both john and xander (mostly john) the shovel talk ("i swear to god- and ive met god- if you hurt him ill be one to get your ass and send it to hell" type shit)
but. where is this legally dead man going to live. aside from john, there arent many people who jnow him still alive (and ghats not to count the amount still working with peip) (there are two still working with peip. john and colonel schaffer)
so wilbur camps out on john and xanders couch until they figure out what to do from there
but wilbur is Old and Weak and hes honestly provably pretty close to (if not) disabled from the sheer amount his body has gone through and the couch is definitely making it worse. and xander being trained in medicine (though not practicing) steps in and is like "ok i know its going to be weird as hell but you have GOT to get in a bed. ours or not i dont give a shit" but they dont haev the space for another bed and honestly wilbur's been struggling to sleep alone anyway
so they end up dragging his ass into their bed and its like. the best sleep of his life. and he wakes up in the fetal position (normal) between john and xander (not where he fell asleep) and theyre both kind of holding onto him (what the fuck ?)
and he freaks a bit. bc thats his ex (?) fiance and his new husband. he cannot get between them like this are you kidding??
so he goes and sits on the couch but its really cold and he hates it (flashback sequence??) but he forces himself to not care and like. puts a show on or smth until xander wakes up and comes out like "why did you leave i was comfortable" and hes like "im already intruding a lot i felt bed" and xanders like "youre literally not but ok. do you like pancakes" and thats that (the answer is yes, blueberry ones)
and like a month later finally wilbur is cleared to get to work on mapping and explaining the black and white, and the lords in black, so he throws himself into that. 9/10 times he falls asleep at his desk or on the couch again and john and xander are both a little sad but theyte quiet abt theyre big boys theyre handling this great (<- lying)
and xander snaps after like. three weeks of wilbur destroying himself for the sake of explaining the shit he'd seen and he goes and demands that wilbur comes to bed one night and it goes a little something like this
"wil, come to bed"
"i have work to do"
"i dont give a shit, im shutting your laptop in ten seconds"
"no, i have shit to do. go cuddle with your husband" (< said bitterly)
"why are you being a bitch about this. we miss you" (< terrified this is wilbur shutting him down rn, but totally genuine)
"wtfdym you miss me. your husband is in there. you realize im your husbands ex right." (< getting increasingly upset)
"yeah. i mean. it doesnt really feel like you are ahymore, but if you want to call it that sure. but we miss you." (< catching on slowly. not fast enough)
"what" (< officially confused)
"have you not. noticed how much we're both kind of totally in love with you. really" (< losing his fuckingn mind)
"xander what the fuck are you talking about. what" (< also losing his fucking mind)
and then its a monologue about how john never stopped loving him and xander knew that if wilbur ever came back john would probably (definitely) go back to him in SOME capacity and he never minded. and then that happened and xander found himself doting on both of them and kind of maybe definitely falling really in love with wilbur and he can say not but. you get the point
by this point john is also here standing in the doorway (exhausted) (his fingers are crossed) and wilburs just stunned into silence for a while
and then he shuts his laptop and stands up and takes xanders (outstretched) hand and lets them take him to bed in silence and its. its his way of saying yes okay? its his way of telling them that he gets it, that he's done the same and that he loves them too
and they fall asleep together with wilbur in the middle. and its perfect
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starrynyxa · 5 months
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this might be kind of an insane question but i’m re-reading the fobmegaverse (again lol) and kinda wonderd if there’s like, hrt but make it a/b/o (???) in your universe/version? like, would it be possible to change your natural scent with hormones or some shit?? and would it get rid of an alpha’s (transomega’s????) knot?
i have so many thoughts about this and it’s all whirring around up in here lmao
Not an insane question! My answer, however, will be extremely insane. So the short answer is that yes, medical transition is possible in the omegaverse!
Long answer (now bear with me here, and also take what im saying with a grain of salt because im not an expert and barely have any idea what im talking about)
The thing that the omegaverse usually ignores/overlooks is that (irl) the hormones driving "secondary sex" (A/B/O) things like ruts/heats are the same hormones involved in "primary sex" (those being progesterone/estrogen + testosterone). And estrous (heat) cycles in mammals don't co-exist with menstrual cycles. So this throws a wrench in verses where you have both primary/secondary sex characteristics. It complicates things like male omegas / female alphas and HRT isn't as simple as giving someone the hormone they're lacking in.
Anyways this is my insanely unresearched fix that has zero basis in any actual study but what I've come up with is that secondary sex characteristics are instead driven by regulatory proteins that activate/inhibit DNA transcription. For the purposes of this I've just called them TF(A), TF(B), and TF(O) [TF standing for transcription factor] - and they begin to be produced when a person presents as alpha/beta/omega.
In the case of scent: The TFs act as activators for the expression of genes that [1] increase the number of olfactory receptors (allowing for people to be able to smell Scent) and [2] activate the secretion of pheromones by scent glands. I'm imagining this happens through some sort of signal cascade that's affected by other factors like the integration of neural signalling or whatever idk. TF(A) and TF(O) will be stronger activators than TF(B) in [2], but the reverse is true for [1] (Alphas + Omegas produce more scent than Betas, while Betas are better at detecting scent).
In the case of heats/ruts/genitalia: I started going into the specifics of this but ive actually decided that if i try to work it all out it would make me go crazy. So please just use your imagination, possibly involving such things like co-activators/repressors + allosteric regulation + the levels of primary sex hormones affecting how the regulatory A/B/O proteins bind/result in different changes in the body 😭 This interaction btwn the A/B/O proteins + testosterone/estrogen/progesterone is what causes in the differences we see btwn male omegas/alphas/betas + female omegas/alphas/betas.
ANYWAYS. As far as medical transition goes. The speculative grasp i have on this right now I guess just says that, as of right now in fobmegaverse canon, the field of secondary gender affirming care is still being researched LMAO. But these are my proposals for possible routes of study based on whatever the fuck I said above.
Scent Blockers/Suppressants: these probably intercept the scent gland signalling cascade at some point which prevents the secretion of pheromones, but still allows for the person to smell scent + this wouldn't affect heats/ruts. (In Patrick's case, the very flimsy reason I have as to why he never rutted is possibly due to an initial feedback loop, where scent is some sort of stimulus that "kickstarts" rut + since he started taking them prior to his first rut, he just never did. IDK i never put that much thought into it. Use your imagination here too).
Rut/Heat Suppressants: This would be the same as the scent blockers where you have to fuck around with protein binding and maybe hormone levels. I think possibilities for this include: allosteric inhibition so that TFs arent binding to whatever, or a molecule that binds to the receptor site on DNA + inhibits the binding of TFs that way. <- this way would potentially affect scent, with scent also being activated by the binding of TFs. Or otherwise, you could possibly target other molecules in the pathway.
Changing natural scent: Honestly I'm not too sure about this one. Logically I think that this is possible because scent glands essentially just work by secreting chemical signals. (Sidebar: i've nearly failed every single chemistry class I've ever taken). So hypothetically, to change a scent, we'd have to change the chemical compound that gets secreted and I'm not too sure how to do that LOL. I think there is potential for HRT as in like increasing your levels of the A/B/O proteins, in the case that these proteins are inhibitory towards each other (which would consequently affect rut/heats/etc) but I don't know how this would specifically affect scent. I would prob need to think more about how a person's specific scent is produced (in regards to: personal scent, hereditary scent, environmental factors, how we specifically ID someone as an alpha/beta/omega, etc). I also think the transplant of scent glands may also be something that could be looked into.
Knots: Tbh you probably just have surgery to remove the excess tissue that forms the knot. Tissues can probably similarly be transplanted on or something (and, similarly, you could maybe transplant epithelial tissues [or maybe epithelial stem cells?] that would produce slick.)
^ Literally do not trust me on anything that I just said here. I never know what I am saying ever, and science is not real to me.
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terraliensvent · 6 months
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multiple ppl close to kinah were able to verify that they were in the hospital recovering when the attempt happened. all of those ppl could not collab and lie so one person could get “extra attention” in ur words. Im frustrated with terra staff aswell but that doesn’t mean its ok now to call someones suicide attempt fake so ur feelings seem more valid. I find that extremely sickening. U have zero evidence or good reason for doubt or else u would have vented about it already. all u have is ur feefees. u do need therapy. And mod pls stop validating baseless speculation on smth so serious. what happened 2 people needing proof for claims like this
alright yeah im deleting kinah asks now
first off i dont think that people should just believe whatever they read on the internet, because you dont know who these people are irl. again, thats not to say that you shouldnt give support where you can or that you should make public callouts saying that it was all fake when you dont know for sure, BUT at the same time theres a level of speculation regardless because its the fucking internet. people are wild, people are strangers, and there is a non zero chance that people could have lied. just because people have a level of speculation on something they read online, that doesnt mean they need therapy and it doesnt mean theyre a bad person, it means they have a brain. if YOU want to believe it without a shadow of a doubt then thats fine, and if other people have some doubt thats also fine, just dont go out of your way to fucking bother people because thats just unnecessary.
second off, i need proof for accusations like “so and so is posting feral” or “so and so is an abuser,” saying things like “the way that kinah bounced back into cs makes me speculate” isnt an accusation.
the views of the anons i post here arent reflective of my own views, and if something is a problem i give my own input on it in my response. when i created this blog i didnt want to delete asks because i feel like that controls a narrative and makes me an unreliable narrator when it comes to these discussions. if people want to talk about things like this, i didnt want to force silence because thats not how you hold a discussion.
as an additional note: anons have been becoming increasingly aggressive in my inbox, whether its towards one another or towards myself. i implore all of you to stop being so aggressive, stop making assumptions, and stop playing this holier than thou card. so much of the art and cs community is made up of people who will virtue signal and place themselves on a moral pedestal and my inbox is the last place for that. if you want to rant and complain, go ahead, but stop acting like youre better than each other because you have the Correct Opinion on everything and believe everything you read on the internet.
my final thoughts on this are as follows: there is a non zero chance that everyone is lying. is it a small chance? sure. does this mean we should spread the narrative that it was all fake? no. are you a horrible person who should die in a fire because you dont 100 percent believe that the attempts were real? no, but also dont go out of your way to be an asshole because of that belief. i think we should all publicly operate under the assumption that the attempts were real. if you want to privately speculate, go fucking wild. could kinah going back into cs and making stuff for terras possibly be bad for their mental health? maybe. but also, its none of our business. and thats what im ending this topic with, a lot of this shit really is just none of our business and i think you all give way too much of a fuck about someone who you will never know irl.
i dont dislike kinah, in fact i actually really liked them when they were on staff for terras. but at some point we all gotta throw our arms up and say why is this taking up so much of my brain power when this person is just someone i follow on fucking toyhouse.
we are done with asks about kinahs attempt now, unless anyone has important info or something new to say im deleting them.
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swagging-back-to · 7 months
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the way im still reeling from just how much my sister let me down
rant incoming bc im genuinely still mad
like i dont even know how to describe this feeling. 'let me down'is such an understatement.
i went into the weekend knowing it was gonna be awful bc she had just started taking ketamine from her psychotic male friend and was planning on bringing all sorts of psychedlics and hard drugs like ket and molly to a party thats like 2hrs away from either of our houses and in a place we dont know.
she didnt tell me if she needed a place to sleep till half an hour before she was gonna get there and i still hadnt eaten any food at all yhat day. so i had to clean the guest room with all my roommates shit piled to the ceiling and cook at the same time. AND THEN SHE NEVER EVEN STAYED TO SLEEP.
she parked like half an hour away from the party right next to the worlds shadiest and darkest park in existence that had 5 guys just standing behind trees watching us go to the car. and then she wanted subway so we walked like half an hour to subway just for her to decide "im not actually hungry teehee"
and when i was like nah im gonna go eat now if youre gonna play this shit before we even go to the party. we go into an asian restaurant and SHES NEVER FUCKING BEEN IN ONE? all she eats is spaghetti and mac and cheese. didnt even know what a fucling spring roll is. she ate it (a THAI STYLE SPRING ROLL!!!!) like it was a lump of shit. like she ripped it apart with her hands and picked at it with a grimace. i verbally called her out on how stupid that is multiple times.
and then she got mad at me when i tried to tip the waiter everything i had in my wallet ($4) and tried to say i shouldnt tip at all. and in the same breath shared how whenever she doesnt get tipped she wishes death on the person. im actually very anti tipping and i never tip unless im with someone else and they do it. so i was like "he either gets four dollars or he gets fucking nothing. thats whats in my wallet so thats what he gets."
and she asked if ice has gluten in it which is genuinely the dumbest diet question ive ever been asked and ive had dozens of people try to tell me chicken and fish are vegetabels.
she waited until we were right at the door to pop open her fireball and then was like "yeah what if i just throw it on the ground in front of a hundred people and two cops" as if both of us arent underage.
speaking of underage <3 she left an entire box of twisted tea in the car for 3 hours completely unlocked while the cops prowled the streets ♡♡♡♡♡ said she doesnt see why the car needs to be locked even tho it had her id hanging from the mirror with big bold letters saying 'not even 20'
then when we were about to be jumped by the guy following us she kept doing like. the exact opposite of what you should do. kept screaming loudly "omg youre sober!?!?!?!" whenever i would say 'yeah im sober enough to get the fuck out of this place we need to fucking leave'. even as a COP WAS RIGHT NEXT TO US.
and when i was begging her to call the people she knew in the area she called them each one time. never explained the situation. to the point one of them thought she was just joking (which says a lot about how she normally acts that he thought she was joking). and then looked at me like i was being unreasonable for telling her to just CALL THEM and TALK TO THEM so we arent just two high women stumbling down the street quietly. it only ended up happening because she accidentally butt dialed one of her fwb and then was too embarassed to tell him she was with me [her sister] (called me 'some friend') and refused to even look at me when she was talking to him.
and this isnt even the entire fucking event. this is just the main points.
im just genuinely scared to be moving in with her at this point, not knowing whether she'll willingly bring back a predatory male or if she'll take hard drugs in my apartment (im the primary tenant and pay almost all the bills. it's my apartment.) or if she's gonna try to out my dogs to the landlord and get them evicted because "i just dont really like small dogs at all." or if shes gonna quit her job just like 'oh and btw i wont come in tomorrow bc this place is shit and i dont think one of my coworkers'despite not having any job lined up afterwards (she has actually done this!!!) and refusing to get a job closer or better paying because "oh maybe in the warmer months illthink of it" ??????
like she is just so.untrustworthy and so outrageously just.... not all there. even just the few things ive told my case manager makes her go 'is she diagnosed as bipolar? she sounds like my unmedicated bipolar clients."
like yepppp she sure fucking does. im pretty sure our bio mother was a bipolar schizophrenic (schizo diagnosed but idk about bipolar)
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kasaneteto · 9 months
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things that have been on my mind recently:
1) i miss the posting format of twitter. well i guess not the posting so much as the following format. the posting aspect is not that different from tumblr i just miss having a private space to ramble, because tumblr is much more anyone-can-see-it. private instagrams arent the same. passworded blogs arent the same either cuz iirc those posts dont show up on your dash so thats more like screaming into a void. fuck you elon musk for taking away my safe space 🖕 it has been nice to talk more with people i wasn’t seeing on twitter tho. so im glad about that at least. its also VERY nice to not have a character limit
2) i use romantic relationships as a crutch in my life which is why theyve all turned out the way they have. or at least part of it. i need to have a relationship that moves slowly but ive never had that. every relationship ive ever had was like, jumping head first into the deep end. there was no build up or anything it was just “i like you” “i like you too” “okay we are dating now” and then i spend all day every day with that person until i get tired of them and the relationship. its fucked up!!!! i don’t want to be like that!!!! i have no idea when ill be ready for a new relationship but when i am i need to be pickier. i need to go for someone who’s exactly my type. because i also need to learn how to be independent and im still learning that. but once im independent enough to start dating again i need to wait for the perfect person to come into my life & then throw everything at them. (had a whole long thing describing my type here that i cut bc i dont want anyone to think im describing them and get weird in my dms. idk i attract desperate weirdos like flies so im being careful leave me alone) and who knows how long it will take to find someone like that! could take forever! anyways ive gone way off the rails here but the point im trying to make is that im perfectly content waiting for the perfect person to come into my life because i need to be focused on myself right now anyways.
3) i do very poorly with guilt & feeling like ive upset someone important to me. especially if the upset feels justified to me. my brain tends to rationalize my behavior for me by thinking things like “thats a weird thing to be upset by” or something when like. that doesn’t matter. maybe this is a normal thing to do but i wish guilt didnt consume me the way it does. even after ive apologized and the person has forgiven me im still so guilt ridden that it makes me depressed. its so weird. i don’t understand it at all. its something i gotta talk to my therapist abt. thats why im writing all of this down anyways is so ill remember what i wanna talk to her abt this week lol
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who-is-shades · 1 year
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raz dnd 11
last time, senna went after parsley after teya expelled shrooms on him. wheatley and zen comment this isnt normal. teya fucking dips invisible. zen goes to help senna catch parsley, and orders android to watch sunnie and wheatley. android is like a pouting child.
teya heads to the bookshop and sees smerc asleep at the desk. she knocks on the window to wake him. he goes over and lets her in. he notices her friends arent there. she says their busy. she asks him to look after sunnie. he says sunnie rarely goes home but he will try. he asks if teya wants to say anything else. teya wants to tell him but shes scared. he assures her shes always teya to him. 'even if im a monster?' oops she puffs out some spores. she tells him not to breathe that in and he covers his mouth.
teya just says shes dead and he says dead people dont talk. she says she died 6 years ago and shes scared. he hugs her awww and she cries! she explains the spell and mushrooms. he steps back and lifts her chin up and says she can push through this shes strong and capable. one more hug! teya and smerc laugh about teya burning sunnie's books. smerc asks what carries teya's soul, and its her charm. he looks it over and tells her to keep it safe.
parsley is slamming into trees and shit and he starts attacking them. just hitting the air. screaming at the trees to die already. in his mind he sees a ravenous beast foaming at the mouth and it lunges at parsley. senna sees a raccoon lunge at him. he rips it off his face, grabs its tail, and chucks it. zen arrives and climbs up the tree!
parsley hears a demonic screech from below and demonic arms reach out to him. he throws his axe! zen deflects it to the side. parsley flies away! senna yells up at parsley "hey you bitch pussy come face me!" parsley thinks i drank his sisters blood and screams fuck you. he yeets an axe at senna! oof it hits and its in her shoulder. zen manages to grab parsley!
parsley screams and tries to hit the arm. parsley fails and zen starts pulling him down. zen lets go of the tree and uses gravity to drag him down. senna uses restoration on him. to parsley senna is demonically chanting and covers his face in claws, then a blinding light and now its normal. senna explains he got mushroomd again. zen tells him not to breathe in anymore gasses. senna yanks out the handaxe and says shes keeping it. zen is still holding him firmly lol and parsley struggles to get loose. zen asks whats wrong and parsley screams to be put down. down he goes! zen asks how senna is and she says shes just worried about teya and just done with the day.
android asks wheatley what he remembers from the war. (YAY LORE) wheatley remembers A war. he and his unit charging into an enemy city, ready to assault it. his team was different in that they had been replaced in battles before. and thats it, hes lost most of it. android says he was invading another city. 'we were what?!' invasion force. big army of constructs. 'they used you to spread their influence and invade cities.' he touches the crack on his optic. 'how could that be? the commanders told us we were in danger if we didnt attack!'
android rolls his eyes 'of course they did, which is silly cause of how loyal you were.' 'of course we were! they...were....our creators.' wheatley having realizations like senna warned him about. android said its terrible that robots made for war were given conscience. wheatley says his creator wasnt known for common sense, then is confused why he knows that. android agrees and implies the crazy king fought against robot god.
wheatley asks who they were fighting against. 'you werent fighting anyone, spreading influence, tainting his gods gifts.' android says he first thought it was amazing they could make robots like wheatley, but says hes just a cheap knock off. blindly following orders, not really alive. then something happaned that changed that. wheatley reaches out and holds his hand above android without touching him, android turns away. 'doesnt matter anymore' yeah im sure dude. android tells him to go back being silent, and he follows orders.
senna's group bumps into teya and wheatley. she says she had loose ends to tie up. senna waves, shaking blood everywhere. senna jokes they were playing frisbee and shes a bad catch. wheatley mends her dress. shes goes to restore sunnie and sees he was conscious lol. she restores him yay. wheatley bolts over happy sunnie is ok.
senna mentions we still have to help teya's mushroom problem. senna uses it on teya and teya clutches over in pain! senna and wheatley freak out! zen says not to use holy spells since it hurts her, senna apologizes cause she forgot. teya gets 4 points dammit. zen offers a solution! its a vial for like athletes foot or something. hes unsure how itll work and pulls out a big needle. teya says his bedside manner needs work. has to do it twice for both lungs. parsley seconds the bedside manner.
senna comments teya will have a hard time breathing with that in her lungs. zen says she can refuse and hes not sure if itll work anyway. teya asks if the mushrooms are only in her lungs. zen says probably. teya says if their growing anywhere else they will grow back. zen feels for a pulse. very slow. he says he could inject into her veins, but her heartbeat is slow and may not spread it good.
senna says if she keeps healing teya her blood should improve the flow, but zen says it would hurt since she would be more alive. parsley elbows senna and says theres more ways to get the blood pumping so senna slams her fist into his ribs. (raz says its almost midnight almost time for parsley to annoy android!)
teya asks zen to scan her so she can brace herself. zen goes 'oh.' he says theres no good news. he shows a map of teya's body. the mushrooms roots are all over her body. zen says a quick way to get rid of the problem is to rip out all the lungs but might have problems later. teya wants a permanent solutions. she says the doc was right, her life was a waste. suddenly wheatley goes to eeby deeby. zen puts him in a pod and sends him away.
teya says shes wasted countless resources fighting the rot. wasted maintence. time for acceptance. stop grieving a life that didnt exist. life and death are prescious. she passes her rock to parsley and tells him to protect it for a minute. she asks senna for help with this part. senna gets teary eyed and hugs teya tight and reassures her the healing wasnt wasted and she cares about her. the organic matter has to go. we have to burn it. sunnie tries to talk her out of it. 'im having senna do it.' have to do it to stop the mushrooms. sunnie gets in front of teya and asks if shes sure about this. 'its the only logical option.' sunnie hugs her and says he will love her even as a skeleton and hes ugly crying. zen calls teya brave and his god will help her when its over.
senna builds a burning area and teya puts all her stuff away. she sends sunnie to get her old clothes. parsley claps her on the shoulder. zen steps back and warns its gonna hurt and to try not to scream oh no.
Codex_entry:_A_Chant_for_the_Departed senna to teya
senna raises her hand, and slams her hand down with a bonfire. it hurts. senna doesnt hesitate and holds teya's hand. zen tries to pull her back but senna insists her god protects her. teya eventually stops feeling pain. the mushroom spores burn up. after 10 minutes its just a burnt corpse. senna starts pulling off the burnt remains. everytime she finds a wet bit, she burns it.
teya has pinpricks in her eyes now! she says it was awful but at least the mushrooms are gone. oh fuck smerc arrives. ah he recognizes teya and isnt affected or shocked. AWWWW. teya waves with her bony hand and is shocked and puts it down. she misses her hair. senna picks her up and says we should clean her up. smerc says hes proud of her for facing stuff head on. smerc starts talking about childhood stories and teya is like 'nooooo'
parsley hands her back the rock and says he loves the new look and that bones are really in this season. sunnie runs back with clothes, freaks for a moment, and goes 'oh yeah teya' heres your clothes. 'you dont have to sugar coat it.' parsley claps his arm on her shoulderbone and says shes dead sexy NO. senna hits him in the ribs for teya but he doesnt care lol.
'hey android' 'what' 'hows this for organic?' 'bones ARE organic even if your more solid' zen tells us to head back to sunnies. only parsley needs to sleep now lol. senna tells parsley he never has to worry about being jumped in his sleep! teya says shes gonna prank parsley! 'can you detach your bones?' 'im afraid to find out.' 'also dont lose your hand bones their small.' senna asks if the ear bones in her head just rattle around. she looks in teya's head and doesnt see them lol.
teya detaches a hand! she can still feel it and move the fingers. she puts it on the ground and it drags itself around. getting a feel for it. parsley says you can steal with it. senna picks it up, gives it a gentlemens kiss, and puts it back on her arm. teya pops off her head! sunnie faints. senna walks over and puts teya on her shoulders so she can see taller. parsley takes teya's head and flies above the treeline and shows her the view. senna uses presti on teya and all the soot and stuff on her is gone, nice clean skeleton. senna tells parsley she can fly?! android offers to shoot them out of the sky. senna reminds android the fey pact ends at midnight.
parsley lands and gives the skull back and senna presti's the skull. senna comments that bones can stay waterlogged for weeks. smerc is glad teya is getting used to her new form. we head to sunnie's house. teya asks if the robots just stand around all night. YEP. she misses sleep. android calls sleep a waste of time. senna comments on them to at least quiet down so she can meditate. long rest!
before meditating, senna examines her arm that was holding onto teya. she takes off her gauntlet and zen remembers to patch her shoulder. she removes her armor and lowers her dress. the sleeve is gone and she comments she has to fix it later. teya and parsley roll perception rolls! teya rolls a 4 goddamn. parsley rolls a 21! parsley notices patches of shiny red bits on her shoulders and arms. parsley walks over and comments they couldve used a healing potion but its a cover to see the patches. their scales! zen finishes and senna pulls up her dress and comments again how expensive her dress material was. teya also can notice but she doesnt know what it is.
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