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jodilin65 · 33 years

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SUNDAY, MARCH 24, 1991 God, I wish moving day would hurry the fuck up and arrive. 8 more days!

I spoke to Andy last night. He’s really happy. He says it’s beautiful and that there are so many stores, and everything’s cheaper, including a movie theater with current movies that only cost a buck. He also says that even though Phoenix is a huge city, it’s spaced out so you don’t feel claustrophobic. He says maybe I’ll be out there sooner than I think, and says he misses me. I miss him, and Donna sounds really nice. I had spoken to her here before Andy left. Her mother Diane sounds nice, too. He says there are tons of singing contests and that no doubt talent agents go there and there are 22 gay bars. Can you imagine 22 gay bars?

I’m so psyched to move, but wanting to be what I want to be means I’m gonna need to get out of the area in a few years. I don’t want to ever have to say goodbye to Kim, either. Or Steve. Steve sounds really eager to check out Deerfield for himself too, after I told him all about it.

Kim’s so in love with me. I mean really. She told me how she had another wet dream about me, but she really is sincere and true straight from the heart. Even though I’m not sexually attracted to her she’s so right as a person. That’s the way it always works. Sexual attraction may be forbidden, but no more settling! I’ve done that for 25 years. If not getting someone who I’m attracted to inside and out means being alone, I’ll be alone. Plus, why get what I want for just 2 or 3 weeks?

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 20, 1991 I feel shitty, so I’m not going to write much. I couldn’t fall asleep till almost noon yesterday and I had to get up at 6:00 and then an hour later I went grocery shopping. I have felt very groggy all day. Or night, I should say.

Kim called about a vacancy next door to her. She’s going to talk to the owner, but it’ll no doubt be too expensive.

I’m dead tired so I’m going to bed now.

TUESDAY, MARCH 19, 1991 Now I’m even more pissed than I was last night as these antibiotics are like speed. I’ve only slept 2 hours in 30 hours. I just spoke to Kim about it and I think Andy tried to call me this morning. I know he called Brenda but when he called me, I never got to the phone in time. It turned out that Kim wouldn’t have been able to come down last Saturday anyway. I pray I don’t sleep too late tomorrow. I need food, then Wed. I see Martha.

Kim is such a super person. I’m so grateful for her helping me take care of this infection, getting me out of Crack Alley and much more. I told Kim about my ear surgery on building my outer ear and about going to Mass Eye & Ear Infirmary 3 years ago. I told her how the chief of ear surgery took CAT scans which they didn’t have when I was little, and determined that if he opens the closed-up opening, I should hear. I also told her the operation never got done as no one wanted to bother taking me and I didn’t want to disrupt their lives. There’d be a few visits besides the operation itself and several follow-ups. I explained I was too chicken to go alone and didn’t have the money for all these bus tickets back and forth from Boston. Also, the hospital people would never let me go home by bus after having major head surgery. Lastly, I told her with mom being 1400 miles away and Tammy with 3 kids, a husband and a business, there was no help there, either.

She was just as thrilled at the thought as I was even though I tried to block it all out of my mind. I tried telling myself I was born partially deaf, stay that way, it’s nothing new. Her eyes watered as well as mine and she half begged, half demanded she take me through this operation maybe this summer. She said it would thrill her and make her just as happy.

Also, she said I’m stuck with her no matter what. That’s ok with me as she’s one in billions of decent people I can ever get. I told her 3 or 4 years ago, she’d have run like hell and she said, “You never know. You may have been surprised.”

MONDAY, MARCH 18, 1991 Boy, am I pissed at myself and frustrated in general. I just can’t kick my schedule back on days. Bill’s coming tomorrow and I need to go do some food shopping. Also, I want to see Jessie before I leave to get my bathing suits back and see if she wants Toffee. I’m sick of taking care of him. Besides that, I have not seen Jessie or her son in ages.

Both Kim and Andy probably aren’t too happy as I was sleeping when they were due to call.

Yesterday I woke up after 4 hours with an attack. It’s always 4 hours after going to sleep. I woke up mega congested and was so bloated that I could say I was 4 months pregnant and be believed. So, Kim called on her break and came and brought me to the ER.

The doctor I liked took care of me in Fast-Track as the main ER room was swamped. Even though she’s married, me, Kim and several others who work there feel she’s bi. She drops enough hints anyway with the way she was looking at me and asking me all kinds of questions about my being gay with utter interest and fascination. She even told me she liked my underwear. Thought they were quite cute.

My problem turned out to be not a yeast infection but rather a urinary tract infection and I let it go too long. That’s why the congestion never got any better. When you have two different infections and you take medicine that kills only one of them, the other one worsens while the first infection comes back. She gave me Seldane to take along with my Theodur and an antibiotic called Bactrim and crotch cream to ease the irritation.

I received a check from fuel assistance for $488.

I really want to get a new stereo, but first I’ve got to start getting boxes.

Kim came over after Friendly’s, after the ER and took back with her some packed boxes. She was supposed to bring them back over and get more stuff when I fucking overslept.

SUNDAY, MARCH 17, 1991 Well, Andy’s now in New Mexico and will be arriving in Phoenix tomorrow. I haven’t spoken with him since he left on March 12th except for last night. He either calls collect or I call him since it’s Kevin’s problem. I don’t know if I remembered to write about that or not but when Andy was here, he got the phone put in that name and he gave a phony social security number.

When I move the phone will be under Maria S and it’ll be listed. My monthly charge will be $16 and whatever cents. I will not have call-waiting as that has become a major annoyance. Especially if I’m talking long distance or having a serious talk and don’t care to be interrupted. Call-forwarding I don’t need as Kim and I plan to keep our front doors open, therefore, I’ll hear my phone if it rings. I can live without 3-way calling for a while. In Deerfield, they only have pulse dialing anyway.

When I went to call the phone company here in Springfield, they insisted on speaking only to dear old Kevin himself. So I called Hank, my old neighbor from Oswego St., to be Kevin and he did.

I have arranged for Nervous to collect my final bill and either ditch it or keep it. Of course, he’ll keep it. Of course, he’ll probably open it and read it, but that’s fine with me.

Nervous hasn’t gotten his butt up here yet as he’s been working almost 70 hours a week. He says he will as soon as he finds the time. Also, he sounds impressed by Deerfield and my new apartment. I wish Feinstein’s and the Bucket of Cruds would fire him till April 1st.

I have had some very pleasant talks with Mary who still feels bad about what she did. She should, too. I told her that after what happened I was tempted to go to her workplace and make mincemeat out of her there, but didn’t want to get jumped by lots of people who worked there or were customers. I also didn’t want to get arrested either. She said, “I don’t blame you.”

SATURDAY, MARCH 16, 1991 Since I haven’t written in a while, I shall update the last two subjects I wrote about. First of all, I guess there isn’t an arrest warrant out for me. It’s really weird, though, as I came home one afternoon and found a subpoena shoved under my door. It said I must go to court on March 21st. That’s crazy as I never knew they gave you second chances. I’m not sure yet what I’ll do about it, but I sure as hell ain’t worried. Nor do I really give a damn as again, Jenny got what she deserved.

As far as Brenda goes, I did not speak to her for a few days after she snapped me out, but after that, we had some decent talks. She said it’s the coke that’s screwing her up and ruining her life. I admire the fact, once again, that she can admit she’s got a problem but I don’t want to be involved with her cuz of it. Also, the fact that I’m not attracted to her and that she’s not my type still stands. I guess I can now understand some of those that dumped me all the while saying I wasn’t a bad person. I’m not a bad person, just not their type. I just want to be alone more than ever for 10,000 reasons. There’s nothing wrong with being alone, though. Me, myself, and I make a great team.

So, my other news is that Andy left on March 12th. I feel he took a great piece of me with him. I feel alone. I miss him. However, I’m happy for him at the same time. Also, I’ve had a lot of problems with him so I’ll enjoy the break from that.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 6, 1991 Well, now there’s a warrant out for my arrest (I think). I wonder if sweet little Jenny will call me about it. Oh well. When I’m ready to take care of it I will.

I am now at CC waiting for Martha. I took the bus here as I am in no mood to associate with Brenda. She’s doing everything I used to do which I haven’t done for many months. She pushes me away and she takes her anger out on me and it all always comes down to sex. She said she wanted to make love to me one more time before I move. I told her I didn’t feel it would be a good idea cuz of how she always says she’s all or nothing. She says she can’t have sex every now and then. She says it’s for memories and that she’s not asking for sex once a week. I told her again, as a reminder, I broke it off with her cuz I felt I wasn’t what she wanted and that we didn’t have enough in common. I also told her I felt it was the right thing to do. It’s happened to me so much and it happens to everyone else all the time, too. This is the 90s. So, last night she was grouchy and she snapped at me.

My hatred towards people only continues to grow and grow. I’m sick of people!

MONDAY, MARCH 4, 1991 I got that apartment!! It’s gorgeous, but it is a little different than Kim’s. I like it better.

Kim and I spoke with Mom and at first, she refused to listen, then Kim melted her right down to the ground. I knew she would. Mom was impressed with the area, which she’s familiar with, everything the apartment has to offer, the price, and Kim and Mark. She kept telling Kim she was a guardian angel. That is true in a way.

I’m moving on April 1st and I’ve sent Russ a written notice. Brenda and Jimmy are also moving on the 1st. Jimmy bought a house here in Forest Park and Brenda’s moving to Palmer. Bonny moved this March 1st.

The night I saw the apartment, Kim and I went roller skating at Interskate 91. I had a blast. I hope to get new skates, though, cuz mine suck. They’re outdoor skates anyway.

Kim came over today and brought back with her some odds and ends. Big bulky stuff that’ll take up valuable box space.

I forgot to mention I had a really good talk with both Nervous and Mary D.

Also, I was right all along about Kim. Kim is very happy with Mark. He’s a great guy but Kim feels he’s too quiet and not exciting in bed. I guess, even though Mark is 28, he’s only been with one other girl before Kim. Kim also told me that she had a wet dream about me and that she’s fantasized about both males and females. Whether Kim is married or not, she’s definitely my type pretty much, but why are they always ugly? I mean Kim’s not ugly, but she’s plain. Even Brenda’s better looking. It goes to prove more and more that God forbids sexual attraction for me personally for some reason.

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travelingtheusa · 11 months

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VIRGINIA

2023 Nov 7 (Tue) – I went to the hairdresser today and got lowlights and a haircut. It looks pretty good but I’ll have to get used to it. I don’t think the cut is very good though.

After the hairdresser, we went shopping at Kroger for groceries. We also picked up a fried chicken meal for lunch but by the time we ate it, it was much closer to dinnertime.

Paul got propane at Tractor Supply while I was in the hairdresser and wandered around Lowe’s for a while. When I came out of the hairdresser, we got fuel for tomorrow’s move.

2023 Nov 6 (Mon – Paul’s birthday) – We went to the Secret Sandwich Society in Richmond for lunch. The menu was very eclectic as they had lots of unusual combinations in sandwiches. They did have a full bar and we were able to celebrate with a margarita. What else?

After lunch, we drove to Maymont Estate. When we arrived, we realized we had been there before in 2019. The park and grounds were open but the buildings were closed. There were several tents set up around the grounds. They had some kind of event this weekend. There was a sign saying they were all sold out. As we walked the grounds, trucks began pulling up to take the tents down. Too bad we missed whatever it was.

2023 Nov 5 (Sun) – We went to the riverwalk this morning. It was short walk along the one side we walked on. We read the story boards and learned that the canal was a dream of George Washington’s. When built, it was over 500 miles long and connected to the Mississippi River.

After the walk, we went to an Irish pub for lunch. The Sine Irish Pub was in a historic building made of lots of dark wood and glass. The food was good.

2023 Nov 4 (Sat) – We were going to go into Richmond today to the riverwalk but we saw on the news that there was an event going on for Alzheimer’s. Because of the crowd, we didn’t go in.

2023 Nov 3 (Fri) – It is still cold. Again, Paul disconnected the water hose before going to bed. He began work on our next caravan – Planes, Trains, Automobiles & Ships. This is such fun! I started research for my next book. It’s funny. It’s turning out that I am writing one book a year: Golden Nuggets in 2022, Letters From the Dessert in 2023, and Let’s Go Caravaning in 2024. I can’t think of what I would write about next in 2025.

We went out to lunch at Skrimp Shack. No, that’s not a misspelling. I thought I was looking wrong but on closer inspection, it is spelled with a ‘k’ and not an ‘h’. I had a shrimp taco and Paul enjoyed a shrimp po boy. After lunch, we went to Kroger and picked up a few groceries then to NAPA to pick up some DEF for the truck. Another light came on in the dashboard. Paul had to pull out the manual to look it up. It was particulate matter in the fuel filter and he had to run the engine to burn it off. I think it's related to the recall Ford sent out on the EPA system for the truck. I just hope the truck holds on until we can get to the shop in Greenville, SC, on November 14.

2023 Nov 2 (Thu) – A cold snap blew through last night and temperatures dropped to the low 30s. We disconnected the water hose before going to bed. Good thing, too. The thermometer read 32 degrees this morning when Paul got up. We stayed in all day. It was too cold to go anywhere. Paul called a Ford dealer in Greenville to make an appointment to bring the truck in. Not only do we have a recall on the EPA sensor, but the truck has been acting up. We get a CHECK ENGINE light, a picture of a wrench, a warning signal for tire pressure, and in the last two or three days, the light in the back seat will not go out. Paul had to disconnect it entirely.

2023 Nov 1 (Wed) - Paul took me out to dinner at Chicken & Bread. It turned out to be a Latin American restaurant where Spanish was the primary language. The place was full when we walked in but cleared out fairly quickly. I joked that everyone in the place thought we were with immigration. We got roast chicken with mashed potatoes and vegetables. Paul ordered a tamale as a side dish but it was not anything he was used to. It was not wrapped in corn husk and the masa was undercooked. Also, there were bones in the chicken in the tamale. When he explained to the waitress that it wasn’t like any tamale he had every eaten, she patiently explained that the food in the restaurant was Guatemalan and other Latin venues. We were impressed that she didn’t just blow us off but stayed to explain the difference from the traditional Mexican tamale.

We went to PetCo afterward to pick up some digestive enzymes for Sheba. Next door was an ABC store where we picked up some booze. (The state operates all liquor stores in Virginia and they are named VA ABC – doesn’t even say it’s a liquor store.) Next stop was at an RV dealer where Paul picked up a repair kit for the door. He also got a cover for a connection that broke off after he installed it on the outside of the rig.

2023 Oct 31 (Tue) – We waved goodbye as rig after rig pulled out of the campground. We were packed and ready to leave at 10:30 a.m. The drive was about 120 miles to the DLA Supply Center Richmond Family RV Rec Area. We were here in 2019. The “campground” (if you want to call it that) only has six sites located around a circle. All campsites are full. We have 50 amp electric and water hookups. We pulled out the paper plates in order to keep water usage low since we have no sewer connection.

At 5:30 p.m. we went out for dinner at the Half Way House. It was an historical building that stood during the civil war. The restaurant was in the basement and was dimly lit with lots of old wood. It turned out the kitchen was in a separate log building next to the restaurant. The meal was excellent; expensive, but excellent.

2023 Oct 30 (Mon) - We did some shopping at WalMart today. I collected contributions from other members of the caravan to give a gift to the wagon masters and tail gunners. We went to WalMart and picked up a bunch of gift certificates to restaurants. We stopped at the Southern Kitchen for lunch. It was good but, again, a long wait for our food.

At 5:00 p.m. we went to the Speakeasy at Mimslyn Inn in Luray for our caravan farewell dinner. It was in the basement of a large hotel. It was our caravan and other people from the general public in the restaurant (they didn’t take any reservations; it was first-come, first-served). After our meal, we presented the WM and TG with their gift certificates. Then I gave a brief talk to the group as the 1st VP and incoming president of SMART, encouraging everyone to join in musters and help with recruiting and retention.

2023 Oct 29 (Sun) – We did laundry today. I worked on paying bills. Paul worked on repairs to the RV. He got the parts he ordered from Amazon to make various repairs around the rig.

The group toured the Shenandoah Caverns today. It was pretty large. They divided us into two groups, each with a guide. There was another tour group going around at the same time we all were and it seemed pretty crowded at one point.

203 Oct 28 (Sat) – We toured Luray Caverns today. What a phenomenal experience! There were more stalagmites and stalactites than we have ever seen in any cave. And the rooms were so large and roomy. There was a lake that reflected the ceiling so perfectly that you couldn’t tell where the landforms ended and the reflection began. The caves are set up on a self-guided tour with you following descriptions of key forms on a brochure you get when you register. I guess COVID changed how they do tours. This is the first cave that we’ve gone in that did not have a guide to make sure your did not touch anything or take any souvenirs.

After the tour, we met Joe & Diane at the Watch & Warrant for lunch. Ugh. It was almost an hour to get our food and it wasn’t that good. At 5 p.m. the group went to a nearby café for dinner.

2023 Oct 27 (Fri) – We packed up and moved from Waynesboro to Luray. It was only 45 miles away. We were in the last group to leave at 11:00 a.m. The Luray RV Resort is very much a resort. They have a motocross track, a track for bicyclists, pickle ball, a water park, corn hole, and lots more. Our site is a generous size and all hookups work well. There is lots of grass and some trees. The caravan is located all together in one row. There is another part of the park that appears to be brand new with no one in it.

2023 Oct 26 (Thu) – It was a very long day today. We drove into Lexington, VA to tour the Virginia Military Institute. It was a beautiful campus, built in the same style as West Point in NY. The sprawling campus called for a lot of walking. We toured the VMI Museum, looked in the chapel, and followed a guide around as we learned about life at the institute.

When the tour was done, we had lunch in the dining hall. It was a very large cafeteria with many choices. The food was pretty good. Then we walked over to the Jackson home and learned about Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson. His was a life filled with loss. He was orphaned at age 7, his first wife died giving birth to their stillborn son, and he was shot and killed by one of his one men during the Civil War at the ripe old age of 39. It is said that General Lee lost the war when General Jackson died.

We returned to the campground. My dogs were barking! That was a LOT of walking. We had a travel meeting then a campfire. We move tomorrow.

2023 Oct 25 (Wed) – It was a free day. We went into town and had lunch at Stella, Bella & Lucy’s. This was a café named after their dogs. Quaint and good food. Afterward, we drove to the Silverback Distillery for a tasting. Joe and another member of the caravan bought bottles of liquor. We did not buy anything. After happy hour, there was another campfire. It was very pleasant.

2023 Oct 24 (Tue) – We rode into Staunton to the Woodrow Wilson Presidential Museum & Library. We had been here in 2021. The tour was the same – 3 buildings: one was the home he was born in, one was a private home turned into a gift shop, and the third was the museum. Afterward, we walked into town and had lunch at the Pampered Plate Café. It was a small place but the food was good.

After we got back to the campground, we hopped in the truck and ran some errors. We got fuel, propane, liquor, groceries, and postage stamps. There was a delightful campfire tonight.

2023 Oct 23 (Mon) – The caravan left early this morning (8:00 a.m.) to drive an hour to Charlottesville to tour the Thomas Jefferson Highland. It is the location of where Thomas Jefferson’s home was located. The house was lovely but totally unexpected. The rooms were small and plain. We thought the home would be more opulent given that it is in the south and was owned by an ex-president. They broke us up into 2 groups and each had a guide. We walked around the first floor of the home and then around the grounds. I was extremely disappointed. It feels like they missed an opportunity to tell us about Jefferson’s presidency. It was all about the house.

After the house tour, we drove to Michie Tavern for a delightful buffet lunch. The setting was an old log cabin. After we were seated with our food, waitstaff came around to give us refills on anything we wanted.

Next on the agenda was a tour of James Monroe’s Highland. This was an even stranger tour as his home had burned down. We took a tour of someone else’s house that was built on Monroe’s property. Again, they missed the opportunity to talk about his presidency and what he accomplished.

We got back to the campground around 4:20 p.m. It was a long day.

2023 Oct 22 (Sun) – We packed up and left at 11 a.m. We were in the last group today. This was the longest leg of the caravan – just under 200 miles. It was like everything conspired to interfere on our trip. There were 3 accidents, the last just as we got to the intersection when a large fire truck pulled up and blocked our way. We pulled into the Luray RV Resort & Campground around 4:30 p.m. As we were setting up, the call came out over the radio that happy hour was at 5:00 p.m. Talk about not having a chance to catch your breath!

We went to happy hour and happily found a campfire blazing away. We joined the group around the circle until it started to get dark, then came home for dinner.

2023 Oct 21 (Sat) – A fierce wind blew up overnight. It started around 2:45 a.m. and kept up for most of the day. It let up around 4 p.m.

We carpooled with Beth & Marlin into Mt. Airy, NC, to the Andy Griffith Museum. A docent gave us a comprehensive talk about Andy Griffith’s career, then we all filed outside for a group photo by the Andy & Opie statue. Then we walked around the corner from the playhouse to the museum. Having been here before, I soon left because the place was packed – not only with our group but the general public.

When we were all done, we walked downtown to Mi Casa for lunch. After lunch, we walked to the historical Earl Theater. There were a group of musicians playing hillbilly music. They were on the air for a radio program. The radio program has been playing for years. We listened for about 30 minutes, then left to go to Wally’s Service Station. There, the caravan had arranged for 11 police squad cars to give us rides. When Beth & Marlin and us got in the car, the driver took us on a half hour tour of Mt. Airy. He was a delightful tour guide and regaled us with stories of the town and the characters from the Andy Griffith show. We thoroughly enjoyed the ride.

After return to the campground, I prepared cheese stuffed mini peppers for happy hour (we were supposed to have heavy hors d’oeuvres tonight but John cancelled that, thinking we would get back too late to prepare the food). Some of the other folks prepared their hors d’oeuvres as well. You can’t save the food, sometimes. After happy hour, they held the travel meeting. We are in the last group tomorrow, leaving at 11 a.m. for the 200 mile trip to Waynesboro.

There was a campfire tonight. That was delightful.

2023 Oct 20 (Fri) – We invited Allen & Carol to join us for lunch at the Creek Bottom Brewing Co. We met Allen and his first wife, Judy, on the Canadian Maritimes caravan. Judy passed away last year. Allen and Carol met due to both of their spouses having dementia. Her husband also passed away last year. They got together and got married. Now, they are traveling the U.S. making up for lost time.

At 4:30 p.m., the group met back at the Creek Bottom Brewing Co for dinner. The caravan covered $15 per person for a meal; the rest you covered on your own. We stayed until 6:45 p.m. and left before the entertainment for the evening began to play. Everyone said she was very good.

2023 Oct 19 (Thu) – We didn’t go anywhere today. I spent the day on the TENS machine and heating pad. At 5 pm, we had happy hour. The caravan had a grill-out tonight. Everyone brought their grills to the rec center and cooked either steaks or pork chops (according to what you ordered). Everyone brought sides to go with their meat. As usual, there was way too much food.

2023 Oct 18 (Wed) – We went to WalMart for groceries, then to the County Line Café for lunch. My back has been steadily getting worse over the past few days and this afternoon, it hit is apex. I could barely walk by the time we got back home. I used the TENS machine, Biofreeze, and a heating pad. When all that didn’t work, I took a couple of Tylenol. Nothing seems to be helping. I may have to seek medical attention.

2023 Oct 17 (Tue) – We rode with Joe & Diane into the town of Galax this morning. We all gathered at the visitor’s center for a guided tour of the town. She walked the group down to the School for the Arts. We walked around the building admiring all the hand crafted items on display and for sale. The curator gave us a talk about the school, its beginnings, its funding, and its purpose. After half an hour, we walked down the block to the Hillbilly Barber Shop. It used to be a barber shop in its day but now it is an antique music store. The man who runs it – Tom Barr – used to perform in the day. Now, he makes violins and entertains visitors to his small shop. There were pictures all over the walls of folks who have played music. Two of his friends came in and played for us.

Afterward, we drove to the Blue Ridge Music Center. There were two buildings connected by a portico. One building contained a small museum about the start of American bluegrass music. The other building was an auditorium. In front, was a group of four people playing instruments. We sat for about a half hour, listening to them play, then went over to explore the museum. The trees in the area are really starting to turn now. The hillside was beautiful.

At 5 p.m., we went down to happy hour. At 6 pm, we returned to the camper.

2023 Oct 16 (Mon) – We packed up and left Bristol, TN at 10:30 a.m. There were 3 of us in the group; us in the middle. The ride was fairly easy and we arrived at the Cool Breeze Campground in Galax, VA at 1:30 p.m. The wagon maser had a problem with his airbags and had to stay in the campground waiting for an RV tech to help. The folks that came in as group one did a superb job of parking everybody.

We went to happy hour at 5:00 p.m. The campground has given us the clubhouse to use every day we are here. It is a small room that says it can hold up to 30 people but 36 of us fit in there just fine.

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suchalonelysunflower · 4 years

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“I know”

(Ashton Irwin X Fem!Reader || Angst/Fluff)

Summary: FINAL PART OF THE KNOW YOU SERIES. When everything feels lost, there’s nothing like the rain

Warnings: Strong Language, mentions of: alcohol, abuse, anxiety, depression, toxic relationships. Ansgty and Fluffy. Bad English (not my first language, sorry)

Word Count: 5.2 K

A/N: ITS HERE the last part of my first Ashton series 🥺 I had fun writing this, it helped me a lot. I hope you like it just as much! Reblogs are always appreciate it as well as feedback, I would love to hear your opinions 💙 You can check my other works HERE. Thank you so much 🦋

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Sierra hasn’t heard from you in almost a week. You’re not answering any of her text or attempts to FaceTime and she’s getting really worried. She knows you’re deeply hurting if you went completely MIA.

Last time she saw you, you were running down the stairs at Ashton’s house, trying to pass the sea of people between you and the door. She remembers calling out your name, and she knows you’ve heard her, since you stopped for a second to look in her direction before turning your face away and walking out the door without saying anything.

But she already saw the tears on your face.

Sierra turned to her boyfriend, to confirm that he saw it too, but Luke’s confused gaze was already on her, asking the silent question: ’What the hell happened?’

Luke’s eyes followed the trail you had just walked, but Sierra’s hand was already in his, pulling him so he followed her upstairs.

“Maybe she was just overwhelmed and needed some space” suggested Luke when they reached the top of the stairs and started walking the hall.

“Probably, but Luke, I know her. She wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye and she looked really upset” Sierra’s voice was filled with concern“Something happened and…”

Suddenly, they came to a stop when they heard a light sob. It was almost inaudible due to the poundering thunders that came from the sky, but it was there. Luke and Sierra hurried down to the balcony, not knowing what to expect but at the same time not expecting the sight in front of them.

Ashton was sitting on the floor with his back pressed to the same wall that had you pressed to him just a few minutes ago, when everything just felt right.

His hair was a mess and his ringed hand covered his eyes as he cried, his shoulders shaking with every sob that came out of his lips. For the first time in a long, long time, the boy who smiled like sunshine was falling apart like the rain.

Sierra’s first instinct was to go over the broken man and kneel down next to him, putting her delicate hand in his shoulder. Her heart breaking as he lifted his gaze, just enough for her to see how much he’s hurting.

“Ash?”

“I fucked up” He said in a broken voice “Sierra, I fucked up so bad”

That was on Saturday. Today’s Thursday and you still haven’t picked up your phone. Ignoring, not just her, but everyone. Crystal has tried to reach you countless of times, Michael has been hitting your DM’s from every social media (including in the games you played together) Calum and Luke have been spamming you with texts and even tried to lure you in with pictures of Duke and Petunia. And Ashton… well. Ashton was a complete mess, his smile was none existing since that night and, if it weren’t for the fact that they were already working on a new album, he wouldn’t even be seen. “He barely talks to anyone” Luke said to her “He’s just… numb. I haven’t seen him like this in years, he looks just like me before I met you, maybe even worse”

Sierra tried to call you one more time before hearing the familiar voicemail tone. You were shutting down, and she was scared that the silence meant something else.

Determined, she picked up her phone one more time, but she dialed a different number “Hey” she said, as soon as the other person picked up “Y/N needs our help and I’m not going to wait any longer”

****************************************************

You opened your eyes as the sun warmed your face. You groaned as you got up to close the curtains, ready to submerge yourself under the covers again. But the sound of your growling stomach kinda forced your way into the kitchen.

Taking in the sight of your apartment, you let out a sad sigh. It was just as messy as you felt. Take out containers (most of them still full) and dirty dishes decorated your kitchen island, your once neat living room had scattered papers all over it, many of them being plain trash that you couldn’t care to throw properly in the bin. You saw the bottle of vodka sitting in the middle of the table and it made you nauseous. This isn’t right. After everything that has happened you thought you finally got a break, that everything was going to be fine. But life has never been easy on you.

As you poured yourself a cup of coffee, you couldn’t help but stare at the bay window. You couldn’t help but think of him, the way he smiled and the sound of his thousand laughs. How he always cheered you up with a good morning text and how he could spend hours telling you stories about his childhood, in an attempt to distract you from reality. How he was always up for anything you needed, weather it be just listening to you or just needing his company, always making sure you were alright, and you were, with him everything was alright. Then your thoughts wandered over that night. The way he held you, the way he kissed you.. the way he rejected you.

You didn’t realize you were crying until a tear dropped in the middle of your coffee cup. You haven’t stopped crying since that night. Feeling useless and scared, but most of all, hopeless you would ever find that sense of security and happiness you felt next to him.

It’s impossible to deny how deeply in love you were with Ashton. You tried to hide it, but you were only lying to yourself. You love him and he probably hates you, again. Once again, you felt like you’ve ruined everything. When your lips touched his you felt like you were in cloud 9, everything was coming together, but seeing his face full of regret after that…

Maybe he was just too drunk, maybe you weren’t what he expected, maybe you should’ve stopped him, maybe he wanted to stop. It was wrong, a ‘mistake’ as he called it. But it felt so right at the moment that you didn’t want it to stop, and maybe that was selfish, but you could’ve died in that kiss and you would’ve died happy, instead of living the pain and the hurt of his disgust and rejection when he pulled away.

He probably told everyone how you fucked up. Everyone must hate you. In one night you lost everything you ever dreamed to have, and it was your fault. You turned off your phone that night, emailed your boss the morning after, claiming to be sick, but in reality you were just too scared to face the daylight of a world where you had nothing again. Maybe your mother was right and you didn’t deserve happiness after all.

Finishing your coffee, you tossed the mug in the filthy sink and headed to bed. That’s when you heard the knocking at your door and your breathing stopped.

You tried to ignore it, but whoever was at the other side was persistent. Against your better judgement, and hoping it was just a neighbor, you opened the door.

Outside the door you saw Sierra, Crystal and KayKay…oh shit. Your thoughts were running a thousand miles per hour, thinking that they were there to give you shit for what you did.

Sierra’s eyes winded when she took a sight of you and, without wasting any second, she launched herself towards you and held you in a tight hug.

“You weren’t answering your phone” she said “we were all so worried about you! We were so scared that you would just disappear and…”

An overwhelming feeling came over you as the tears spilled down your cheeks. It was all too much. Sierra kept talking, but you couldn’t listen. The others made their way into the apartment, careful to not overstep your boundaries, you noticed they had some bags filled with groceries and your heart shrunked. They weren’t there to hate you, they… they came for you, because they care about you. And you were standing there, numb in the same pajamas from five days ago, with countless bags under your eyes and a messy knotted hair. You didn’t deserve this.

“Oh, baby” Sierra cooed as she felt you breaking down in tears in her arms “We are here for you, we will always be here for you, Y/N. We love you, it’s okay”

“No, it’s not okay” you said between sobs “I fucked up. I fucked up, it’s not okay. I’m so sorry”

You kept apologizing, it seemed like you were unable to form another sentence that wasn’t ‘I’m sorry’ but the girls were having none of it “Y/N, listen to me. You did nothing wrong. You hear me? Nothing. Stop apologizing, you don’t have to, you don’t need to. Look at me” Sierra pulled away from you and grabbed you by the shoulders, forcing you to look at her and the others “You. Did. Nothing. Wrong”

Her stare was honest, stern and serious. You felt like breaking down again, but KayKay stepped in

“Why don’t we go talk in the living room? Crys and I will put the groceries in the kitchen, I’m assuming you didn’t go shopping this week, Y/N?” you shook your head, she nodded and gave you a sympathetic smile “It’s okay, dear. We got you covered”

“Y/N, have you been eating enough?” Crystal asked from the kitchen, looking through your take out containers with enough food to feed an army.

You wiped your tears “I - I don’t know. I don’t remember. I couldn’t…”

“Shh, baby. It’s okay” Sierra said, sliding her hands up and down your arms to calm you down “Don’t worry. Why don’t we go sit, yeah?” You walked into the living room together. Sierra’s eyes were immediately fixed into the bottle of vodka in the middle of the coffee table. You felt ashamed “Y/N, did you..?”

“No” you said quickly “No, I couldn’t. I tried to, yes. But the smell… it reminded me too much of her and I just… I couldn’t”

The girls were sitting around you. They knew it was bad, but they didn’t image it to the point where you would even consider drinking as an escape. They hated to see you like that. You were the girl with the endless smile, the one who would happily put others before herself, the one that would be there at any time, at any moment. Being the life of every party, or at least in their tight group of friends, the one who has been through hell but came back as strong as ever. You didn’t even seem like yourself, you were broken. And they were determined to try to fix that.

“Why don’t you tell us everything? It will make you feel better, I promise”

So you took a deep breath and started. You told them how close you and Ashton got during quarantine. How you, even without knowing it at the time, hoped to talk to him everyday, how he made you feel special, the way his smile brightened your day. How you could always tell if he was in a bad mood just by looking at his eyes and not finding their gleam, how he made you feel like you could trust him almost instantly and how glad you were to be friends with him. You told them about the night of the party, how he seemed so happy to see you but acted strange around you and the others, almost like his old self. You told them about the balcony, what you talked about and how you kissed. How happy you were until he said those words.

“And I know he meant it” you said softly through your tears, like a little kid “it was a mistake, we should’ve never done it, he was right. I fucked up, I should’ve told him to stop, but I…” your voice broke and you were unable to continue, but KayKay stepped in.

“You didn’t want to”

You look at her, trying to find a hint of hate inside her eyes “Kay, I’m so sorry.”

“Stop apologizing, Y/N. It’s fine”

The sincerity in her voice confused you.

“But.. but he’s your ex and you’re my friend. I could never..”

“Y/N, stop it” She said, placing her hand on your knee “It’s okay. Our relationship ended eons ago and we were never right for each other” she gave you a small smile “I love him, as a friend, just that. We were never meant to be. You want to know how I know that? Because I could never talk about him in the way that you just did, the way you described him and everything he did… you really love him do you?”

Your eyes winded. You didn’t tell them that, hell you weren’t able to tell yourself that until a few days ago. However, you couldn’t stop yourself from nodding.

“That’s alright. We can all tell how much you love that stupid boy. And I’m okay with that, honey. Really. Our friendship is stronger than that. And besides…” her smile grew “I know he feels the same”

“What?” You asked in disbelief.

“I talked to him a few times during lockdown, just to check on him. Everytime we talked he mentioned you in some way, weather it was a message you sent him or something funny you said or did, or even just out of nowhere you were always on his mind and, girl, the way his smile lighted up and his eyes shined… I’ve never seen him like that, not even with me, so I knew he was head over heels before he even knew it himself”

Saying that you were confused was an understatement “But he…”

“Y/N, remember what I told you about him? He never lies about his feelings but…”

“He avoids them” you finished.

“Sounds like someone we know…” Commented Crystal.

“And it sounds like you should definitely talk to him!” Sierra chimed in.

You started to protest but she cut you off.

“No, I don’t want to hear it. Y/N, I don’t know what that voice in your head tells you, but it’s lying. We are not going to stand here and let you drown, we will not allow it. You deserve your happy ending, you deserve all the love in the world and we love you so so much. How can we get it pass your head? You are not alone, you are loved. We are your family and we will not go anywhere, no matter how much you try to push us away” she raised her thumb to wipe the tears off your face “We will not force you, though. You will talk to him when you’re ready, but you have to talk to him. He’s just as broken as you are, maybe all you need is each other”

You nodded silently, thanking the universe for putting these amazing people in your life. But fearing the moment you will see Ashton again, not feeling completely confident for that.

*****************************************************

Ashton, on his part, was a complete wreck.

He can’t eat, he can’t sleep, he can’t concentrate hard enough on the fact that he has a mini concert in two hours and he didn’t rehearse as much as he should’ve. He can only think of you and the sound of your heels walking away from him.

It’s been a week since last Saturday and he’s looking at his screen, hoping selfishly that your name would pop out at any second, but knowing damn well it won’t. He tried to message you a couple times, saying how sorry he was, but he could never find the words or the courage to send it, even though he knows he should. Feeling the tears burning in the back of his eyes, he tried hard to contain them. He’s been crying all week, but knows that now it’s not the best time to let it out.

He looks around the small room the venue gave them to prepare themselves. He can hear Michael warming up and he spots Luke talking to Sierra in a corner of the room, she’s smiling and he looks so happy. Ashton never wanted to hit that pretty boy’s face till now.

“You alright, mate?” Asked Calum, pulling him out of his jealous thoughts as he took a seat next to him on the couch “You look like shit”

“I feel like shit” Ashton averted his gaze back to his phone.

Calum nodded, choosing to ignore how harsh his comment sounded, knowing how hard this must be for his friend “Still haven’t talked to her?” Ashton looked at him shocked, he didn’t mention to Calum what was happening, only to Luke and Sierra because they caught him crying over Y/N “Luke told me, but to be honest I would’ve figured it out sooner or later”

Ashton’s voice was soft and filled with guilt and hurt, breaking Calum’s heart as he spoke “Has she told you how incredibly stupid I am?”

“I don’t need her to tell me that” The bassist gave his friend a small smile that he didn’t return “Besides, she’s not talking to me. She’s not talking to anyone, actually”

“What?”

“She’s been ignoring us, turning off her phone and shit. She didn’t talk to anyone after that night.You thought she was only ignoring you?”

Ashton’s world fell apart right there. Not only did he pushed her away from him, but he pushed her away from the only people he knows she loves the most. He royally fucked up this time and he will never forgive himself for this. Why can’t he stop hurting her?

“Why do you think she will talk to me, though?” Calum asked after a while.

“You were always so close” said Ashton in a monotone voice, trying to hide the hint of jealousy he felt towards his best friend “Always with each other and always talking about things none of us understod, so I thought…”

“Woah, you think there’s something between me and Y/N? Dude, no. Never” Calum said in disbelief “She’s amazing, don’t get me wrong and very pretty but she’s also like a sister to me, she reminds me a lot of Mali. And I could never do that knowing that my best friend is in love with her”

“What!? I..”

“Mate.. c’mon. Isn’t it useless to deny it any longer? We know you love her, it’s clear as the day. You do love her, don’t you?”

Ashton let out a sigh “Why does it matter? She will never feel the same”

“Now, why do you say that?”

“Because it’s the fucking truth, Cal” he said, his voice breaking at the end “I hurt her, every time. And she doesn’t deserve that, she.. she wouldn’t want me. She doesn’t want me and I made the stupid mistake of being selfish and kissing her, knowing damn well I shouldn’t have”

“Then why did you kiss her?”

“Because!” He said a little exasperated “Because she started talking about the stars, because she looked absolutely beautiful under the night sky. Because she was kind and she smiled at me in a way that I felt like the world was ending because there’s no way something as pure and beautiful as her could be smiling at me that way after everything I put her through” he sighed “Because when I kissed her I felt like I was were I meant to be and I never wanted to let go. Because I’m a selfish asshole, because I’m in love with her. And because of that I ended up hurting her, again”

Calum placed his hand on Ashton’s shoulder, patting it a little bit before saying “Then it’s your job to fix it, mate. She’s hurting, but I don’t think it’s because the same reason you think”

“Wh- what do you mean?”

“Talk to her”

Ashton felt like there was more to say, but they were interrupted by the stage manager asking them to follow them because the show was about to start.

He definitely wasn’t in the right headspace to play. Too many thoughts and emotions running through his head, to many questions without answers. Maybe when he sits on the stool and starts playing it might help him forget a little bit, but it was useless.

He could still feel your lips against his, and could still hear your little moan in between. He had you tattooed in his memory, the sound of your voice as his favorite melody. He loves you, but knows he shouldn’t. As he was playing he thought of you with so much passion, in every way and form, that he could almost swear he saw you at the side of the stage. But it wasn’t until Sarah gave you a hug that Ashton realized that you were actually there.

***************************************************

You made eye contact with Ashton as he was playing one of their new songs on stage. His eyes winded when he spotted you and immediatly started to look around to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. You were there, and you were starting to regret it. Maybe this wasn’t the right place, maybe he didn’t want to see you, maybe…

But then he looked at you again, and you felt like the rest of the world faded away, in that moment it was only you and him. Asking, wondering, loving, hoping without saying a word. That was the moment that seemed to last eternally.

You held his gaze until he had to look away, breaking the spell that caught you both. You tried to concentrate in the concert and the other boys, but your attention drifted to Ashton and, every time he could, he would look at you, almost afraid that you would disappear.

The concert ended and Ashton was the first one offstage. He came to you rather quickly and still filled with adrenally “We need to talk. Can we talk?” He asked with pleading eyes.

You nodded and let him guide you, people were trying to talk to him, but he ignored them all and didn’t even attempt to stop until you reached the rooftop of the venue.

It was a very windy night, so you wrapped your arms around yourself, though you weren’t sure if you were shivering from the cold or from the nerves. Ashton closed the door and turned to look at you, properly this time. He was sweating and panting due to the energy he displayed on stage, but he couldn’t feel a thing, not now because you were right there in front of him, looking like a dream he would never want to wake up from.

“Ash..” “Y/N” you said at the same time.

“Me first?” You said, he closed his mouth and nodded. Not sure if he wanted to hear what you got to say. You took a deep breath and started talking before you chicken out.

“I should hate you” you spatted “I should hate you, but I can’t” Ashton’s features visibly relaxed for a bit, scared of what might come next “I can’t because I miss you so damn much. I miss talking to you everyday. I find myself waiting for your name to pop up on my screen randomly, knowing it will make me smile. I didn’t mean to get so attached to you in so little time given than last year you were practically a stranger to me, you wouldn’t talk to me or even acknowledge me for years and I let it pass. I let it pass, not only because I didn’t understand it, but because I hoped one day you would notice me. When you said those things, I should’ve hated you back then, but I couldn’t and I didn’t. When you came to apologize I said I couldn’t do it yet, I was wrong. I forgave you that day without even realizing it because I can’t hate you, Ashton.”

You took a breath, trying to hold the tears that were threatening to escape “Then we became friends, and against my better judgement I let you in in my life and you let me in in yours because you made it so easy to trust you. I knew that one day that would’ve happen eventually, us becoming friends, and I wanted nothing more than that. What I didn’t know is that I would end up falling in love with you”

Ashton’s eyes winded at your confession his expression going from confused to shock to sad in less than one second, it seemed like he wanted to say something, but he held it in, knowing you weren’t done. So you continued.

“I love you, Ash. I know it might seem rushed, but I never lie about my feelings, I avoid them. And that’s exactly what I was doing before that night. Ashton when you kissed me…” you closed your eyes for a second, trying to find the words “I felt home. I felt safe around your arms like I’ve never felt before. I wanted it to be endless, I didn’t want to let go but then.. you did” you looked him in the eyes “I knew there was a possibility you didn’t feel the same, I won’t hold that against you. You are free to feel whatever you want and I know that I’m not perfect in any single way and I can’t even attempt to compete for your affection. I was always scared this would be something temporary and as I told you before, I’m used to mess it all up and to people walking out of my life, every one of them giving me a reason why. So I’m here to ask you: Why?”

Ashton looked at you, confused “Why?” He asked

“Why did you kiss me? Why did you pull away?” You said “Ashton, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can barely function as a human being. So please, answer me so we can be at peace with each other. Maybe it won’t hurt that much this way”

Ashton couldn’t believe it, you really didn’t know? You think he would leave? Did you want him to?

“I kissed you because I wanted to do that for the longest time” he started, taking a step closer to you without breaking eye contact “I pulled away because I felt like it was for the best”

“For the best?”

“I don’t deserve you, Y/N”

Now it was your turn to be shocked. “Excuse me?”

“Y/N, since the day we met I’ve done nothing but hurt you. I refused the idea of getting to know you like everyone else did and for what? It’s still one of the biggest regrets of my life. I know I hurt you when I said those things, I still beat myself up everyday because of that. I don’t know why I did it, what was the intention besides hurting you. I didn’t know you and you made that very clear that day” You could see he was starting to get frustrated, but not with you “You said you forgive me, I’m saying I don’t deserve that” his voice was clear, but the hint of pain betrayed him “Getting to know you was and still is one of the greatest experiences of my life, you let me in when I should’ve stayed in the streets, I could never thank you enough for that. Your calls were the best part of my day, hearing your voice or seeing a text from you made me feel like the luckiest man on earth, I felt like heaven because I had you in my life and you made it worth living. Y/n, I fell for you so hard that I don’t think I’ve known love until I met you” Your breathing stopped as he said those words, your heart beating up so strongly you were afraid it might explode on your chest.

“But then I saw how you were with the others, how they were always so close and I felt like I was always ten steps behind. Y/N, I was jealous of everything we didn’t have and what we will never have and I know that sounds horrible because it was my fault to begin with. But seeing you with them made me realize just how undeserving I am of you”

“Ashton…”

“I’m not good for you” he said sternly. His eyes were glossy with the tears he was holding, but they never left yours “I’ve known that from the start and still I selfishly hoped that one day I will be, but we both know that’s not the case. You should be with someone that doesn’t hurt you, someone that will bring smiles instead of tears, someone like Cal or Luke or Michael. I can’t… I will never be good enough for you. I knew all of that when I kissed you that night, and I would be lying if I said that I didn’t know what I was doing or that I didn’t want it, because I did, I still do. But I can’t do that to you, even though it kills me, I don’t deserve you”

“Stop saying that” you said.

“Y/N..”

“Stop saying that! It’s not true!” You yelled at him “Who are you to tell me what’s good for me or not?! Who gave you the right to decide that?” He tried to talk but you shushed him raising your hand “ You’re telling me that you love me that you can’t be with me?! Like I’m a price or a toy? They are my emotions too, Ashton! I should have a say on it, don’t you think? I can’t believe you”

“What do you want me to say?!” He raised his voice as well “Do you know how much it hurts seeing you in pain and knowing that I was the once who caused it?”

“You’re being selfish”

“So what if I am!” He raised his arms in exasperation “I’m scared Y/N! I’m scared I will ruin everything again and break your heart!”

“Then don’t!” You yelled, louder “don’t break my heart, Ashton” your voice was softer now “I want to be with you, I love you! Is it that hard to love me?”

Ashton looked at you. Your eyes were filled with tears and fear, and even though you were shivering from the cold, he swore you couldn't look more beautiful. His eyes softened as he came closer to you “Loving you was the easiest thing I’ve ever done”

In a brave move, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer to you, pressing your lips together once again.

Scared at first, Ashton closed his eyes into the kiss, relaxing when he felt your hands play with the back of his head, twirling your fingers in his hair. He wrapped his arms around your waist, lifting you up in tight hug. Taking advantage of your little gasp to push his tongue into your mouth, making himself home.

You melted into the kiss once again, swearing you could see every color and every star, you felt infinite as you pressed against him. Taking everything you can form each other, memorizing the way you tasted and how good you felt. You threw away every meaningless fear you had, now it wasn’t the time to overthink. You loved him, and he loved you, that was all that mattered at this moment.

You hummed into the kiss when you felt a drop of water hit your cheek. At first you thought it was one of yours or Ashton’s tears, but when one drop became a thousand you realized that it was actually raining.

Ashton broke the kiss but rested his forehead against yours. He held a smile so wide that made you feel like the luckiest person on earth just for being a witness of that.

“This is so cliché” he laughed.

You giggled “I always liked the rain. It means new beginnings, a fresh start. It helps you grow as you go. It reminds me of a home I never had until I fell right into your arms”

“Well” Ashton said, kissing your forehead “Let this be the statement of our new beginning, because I am completely in love with you, Y/N. I know I am selfish for saying that, knowing that I will never fully deserve you. But I can’t help it, love. And I will do everything in my power to prove it to you, every single day of my life. Y/N, you make me want to be a better man. I want to know you for the rest of my life”

You kissed him one more time, happiness taking over you as your heart fluttered with his words, smiling into the kiss “I love you”

The rain kept falling, sealing your promise into solid ground. And as you walked back in hand in hand, you thought that, finally, your life came together. Finally allowing you to be completely and overwhelmingly happy.

205 notes · View notes

prorevenge · 4 years

Text

Won’t pick up your dog’s shit and then steal from me? Move out then.

So this happened at the last apartment complex I lived in. Sorry it’s so long.

My SO and I were renting a ground floor unit at a really nice apartment complex. I wouldn’t say it was a luxury apartment or anything but our ground floor unit had a little patio off the back that led out into a really nice court yard area with hammocks, a walking path, outdoor fireplace/seating area, etc. A lot of people walk their dogs out there or let their kids play out in the grass, including us.

We have a 1 year old cane corso, we got her when we’d been living in the unit for about 2.5 months and she was only 8 weeks at the time. She’s a really good dog and we trained her well. We could let her out to go potty and she’d come right back even if there were distractions/people/dogs out (we always stood on the patio and watched her anyways because our pet agreement said we couldn’t leave our dog unattended). Then we’d go pick up her poop right away if she pooped (also part of the pet agreement as I’m sure is standard at most apartment complexes). We kept a small step trash can outside specifically for her poop bags because we didn’t want to throw them away inside and the only outside trash cans were on the other side of the building (which i agree is super dumb). It really was a small trash can, like the kind you’d tuck into the bathroom between the toilet and the wall. We also had her poop bags hanging on our patio door handle for easy access so we didn’t have to hunt for them every time we needed them.

This lady and her kid moved in on the ground floor in our building, two units down from us. No biggie. We ran into her one day carrying in groceries and my SO held open the door for her. She seemed kind of Karen-ish but was polite and her kid (probably 10-11 years old) didn’t look up from his phone. Whatever that’s pretty typical of kids these days. They also had a dog, a little black and white fluffy thing super cute but not trained very well. Don’t know what kind of dog but it was much smaller than our already giant puppy.

After about two weeks or so, we realized that there were dog turds in the grass right off our patio. We found out the hard way because my boyfriend stepped in it the first time. Luckily he wasn’t barefoot. They were clearly not our dog’s turds as 1.) we always picked up her poop right after she went and 2.) they were very obviously from a small dog, not our 70 pound puppy. We’d been in the apartment about 7-8 months at that point and had never had an issue with this so we figured it was EM’s little dog. I wrote her a polite note that basically was like “Hey neighbor! We noticed that some of your dog’s poops aren’t being picked up and are right off our patio. Per the pet agreement we all have to sign, we all need to be picking up our own dog’s poop each time they go. I’m sure it was an accident and you just didn’t notice, so if you could make sure to do that going forward we’d appreciate it! -Your neighbors in (unit#)”

She wasn’t home so I slipped it under the door and went back to my apartment. A couple hours later this lady is banging on my door and gets really angry with me, insists that it couldn’t have been her dog and how dare I assume. I felt really bad and I apologized immediately, said I didn’t mean to offend her and it must have been someone else. She told me never to bother her with “crap like this again” and stormed off. I was like okaaaaayyyyy.

Not three days later, I was sitting on my patio with a book enjoying the cool weather when I see their little dog run out of their back door - no one with it - and it comes over to me. I said hello to the pup (bcuz I love pups) and then it took a shit right off patio, ran back home and scratched the door to be let in. I saw her kid slide the door open enough to let the dog in and then closed it again without coming outside to pick up the poop. I was annoyed because here I saw it with my own eyes that it WAS their dog and no one was even watching it when it was outside.

So I grabbed a poop bag, picked up the poop, wrote another less polite note about her kid neglecting to watch the dog or come to check if it had pooped/pick up after it, and dropped the poop bag and the note on their patio right by the door, then went back to my reading. EM was quicker to come by this time and stomped right up to me, waving the note around. Then stated that her kid was just a kid and probably just forgot to check. I said I didn’t care, her kid was old enough to stand outside for 3 minutes and come pick up the dog’s poop. She said well there’s no poop bags/trashcans on this side of the building and she didn’t feel comfortable making her kid walk all the way around the building for that. The next part is my own fault, in hindsight. I suggested she put a trash can like mine on her patio and leave their own poop bags handy like we do for our dog. She eyed our stuff, huffed some more, rolled her eyes, refused to do anything about the poop and walked off. At this point I was super annoyed.

I stalked my patio door for the next couple days as much as I could, just waiting. And sure enough on day 2 in the evening when I was about to give up, I see the puppy run outside towards my patio. I whipped out my phone, took some pictures of the dog outside alone (not allowed) and the dog pooping and then took another phone an hour later of the poop still there and time stamped all of them. Then I sent an email to the apartment office people who were always pretty nice and they responded quickly they would give her a warning about it.

And sure enough this lady comes back AGAIN, to get mad and yell at me about how petty I was to report them to the office and now they had a $150 fine for not picking up their dog poop. (It’s worth noting that these fines were rare. PooPrints were not used at this complex. In order for the office to fine someone for dog poop they had to have proof it was that specific tenants dog’s poop and that it wasn’t picked up. Hence the photos I’d taken and timestamped.) I told her that I had tried to be nice about it with her TWICE before and it was her own fault at that point for not abiding by the terms of the pet agreement we ALL had to sign (everyone who had a dog at least).

She went off about how she’s a single mom and she works during the day and her precious baby can’t be expected to pick up after their dog. I told her that a 10/11 year old was plenty old enough to pick up after a dog and that if they weren’t responsible enough then maybe the kid shouldn’t be letting the dog out at all and she should be the one to do it or maybe whoever is home with him should be looking after it. She got angry, told me I had no idea how to be a single mom, that her mom stays with him during the day and shouldn’t be expected to look after her kid and her dog and she stomped off again. I expected to hear more about it but I didn’t. (The ironic part is I AM a single mom; my kid isn’t my SO’s and I raised him alone for 2.5 years before I met my SO, so yes I do know how hard it is and I live 1000 miles from my closest family so I never even had the luxury of being able to have my mom watch my kid.)

Over the next couple of weeks we didn’t find anymore dog turds off our patio. But we did notice our poop bags were depleting and our trash can filling up way more quickly than usual. I had my suspicions and wanted to test it. We had recently bought some small security cameras for inside of our apartment for different reasons and I had my boyfriend set one up outside on the patio. We faced it where it could see our door and trash can but didn’t point to the rest of the court yard or other people’s units (we respect privacy around here).

Sure enough the same evening my boyfriend set it up, I see the kid walk onto our patio, take a poop bag, walk out of frame, and then come back to throw it in our trash can. Okay. Now I’m PISSED but also not trying to fight this lady or her kid. So I moved the poop bags to the inside door handle. It’s a glass door so you can still see them but we always lock our sliding door.

Next morning, I hear someone knocking on the back patio door and I go to see her kid standing there looking annoyed. I didn’t open the door I just spoke loudly enough to ask what did he need. He demanded a poop bag for his dog’s poop. I said I’m sorry but these are our poop bags for our dog and they weren’t free for anyone else to use. The apartment provides poop bags in a dispenser near the trash can on the other side of the building. Kid started demanding a poop bag, saying his mom told him he could use ours, slapping his hands on the glass a few times (trying to scare me? yes I’m so terrified of a ten year old boy...), and finally screaming at me that he’s telling his mother on me. I said fine go ahead I’ll tell her the same thing. Sure enough, a few minutes later his mom is standing on my patio also demanding a poop bag for her dog’s poop. I denied her a bag and asked her to please step off of my patio as she was making me feel unsafe and uncomfortable (my SO wasn’t home). She told me I was a bratty child (I’m 24...) and she demanded I let her use my poop bags as I had already told her she could before. I said no, I told you to get some yourself and do what I do - keep them close by and put your own trash can on your own patio - not use the bags I buy with my own money for my own dog and then fill up my tiny trash can with your dog’s poop. I pointed out she could use a plastic shopping bag if she didn’t want to buy her own poop bags or she could use the bags the complex provided on the other side of the building. She kept going off on me and I finally told her if she didn’t leave my patio I’d call the police as she was harassing me (the apartment office was closed on Sundays and of course it was Sunday). She acted like she was going to call my bluff but then my boyfriend got home and walked up behind me to ask what was going on and she ended up dragging her kid away - again, leaving the poop in the grass off my patio.

So once she was gone, I took ANOTHER timestamped picture of the dog poop, downloaded the footage from my security camera of her kid stealing my poop bags and throwing them in my trash can and the footage from them that morning yelling at me and demanding my bags and my denying them and emailed all of it to the apartment management. I told them that she made me feel unsafe and uncomfortable in my own home, that she and her child felt entitled to come onto my patio and take my belongings. I also went outside, picked up her dog’s poop, looked in the trash can on my patio and pulled out the bags with her dog’s poop (they were significantly smaller than my dog’s poops as I’m sure any dog owners could tell the difference in poops of a 12lb dog vs a 70lb dog). I went and opened all the bags and dumped the poops straight on her patio right outside the door.

On Monday, I heard back from the office lady who said she would take care of it. By Friday, there was a moving truck and the lady and her kid were moving out. Pretty sure they were evicted or at the very least urged to move before a formal eviction process was initiated. After talking to some of our other, much friendlier neighbors, it turns out we weren’t the only ones who had been complaining about her. They’d only lived in the complex for like 2-3 months before they made so many enemies they were kicked out.

Sometimes I think I should feel bad for playing a part in them getting evicted but honestly I can’t bring myself to feel guilty about it. Not my fault she was a lazy entitled bitch who couldn’t even be assed to get a shopping bag to pick up her dog’s shit. I never heard from her about the turds I dropped on her patio but I like to think she stepped in them without looking and knew better than to come bitch to me about it.

sorrynotsorry

(Also, I’m sure they were given more than a week to vacate as those are the tenancy laws here but she packed up and left like a bat out of hell. Guess she didn’t want to stay somewhere she was clearly seen as an enemy... I don’t know for sure that she was evicted or if she was just asked to leave or abide by the lease or what. Office can’t give out that type of info and she and I weren’t exactly on speaking terms for her to give me the scoop about it.)

TLDR; Entitled mom lets her dog shit wherever it wants without cleaning it, I tell her to pick up her dog’s shits or make her kid do it, she refuses, gets a fine from the apartment complex after I send them pics of her dog unattended and the poop not being picked up. She starts letting her kid steal my supplies from my patio, I send video footage and photos to the management and they end up being kicked out of the complex.

(source) story by (/u/MotherhoodEst2017)

#prorevenge #by /u/MotherhoodEst2017 #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

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quarantinebreakup412081121 · 3 years

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Day 1: Long Story Short It Was The Wrong Guy (AGAIN)

After nearly a year of being miserable after my ex and I broke up, and about 8 overlapping months of attempting to date, I finally met someone.

He seemed genuinely nice. He met me at my neighborhood park and we walked his dog, around and around and around for probably a couple hours. We talked nonstop- about 90% of the conversation was about our dogs. We left and he hugged me goodbye (I turned to the side because- COVID- and I wasn’t expecting it... but it turns out he was vaccinated already) and said we’d do it again.

The next time he came to my house, met my dogs, and we walked his dog around my neighborhood. My dogs aren’t up for more than about a half a mile walk, so they stayed at home. We talked and talked, we ended up back at the house before we were finished, so we re-walked half of the route, then walked part of the neighborhood beside mine. By the time we got back, we still weren’t finished talking, but it was getting late. We attempted the hug again. He was vaccinated, I was going to be vaccinated the next month. His dog lunged when we were going in for the hug and it ended up being kind of a 101 Dalmatians, tangled hug moment. It was funny and a but awkward, but definitely memorable.

He said we’d do it again.

Then he asked me to go to his apartment so he could cook for me; he called it a date. It was a little fast, but I made the hour long drive and went over for shrimp and fake meat tacos. We also watched a movie. It was nice. He kissed me on the way out. It was sweet. I wasn’t sure that I wanted it to happen so soon, but I left with butterflies.

The next few dates alternated between him coming here to do outdoorsy things and me going to his apartment for a meal and a movie. It was beginning to feel like a real relationship.

Over the next 5 months, he introduced me to all of his friends and we went to game nights together, coordinated to play video games with his friends when I went over, attended his friend’s post elopement wedding party, and he had me sign the photo matte that they had in place of a guest book. It felt real, it felt solid, it felt like it would be long term and like he really cared about me. It felt like the opposite of what I had with my ex.

He had me meet his dad. He came over and met my family. He said he’d go to Disney with me and he asked me to go skiing with him and his family. He said he loved the beach and that it was his favorite place to go- so I anticipated multiple beach trips over the summer. He listened to Taylor Swift with me, we watched dumb movies together, went grocery shopping and made Target runs together- aka “couple shit” as he called it. I loved it. I never got to do everyday couple activities with my ex. He’d cook for me, I’d cook for him, he’d make random Taco Bell stops for me and he knew my order.

A few weeks ago, I finally decided to open up to him about some of my anxiety and worries. I thought that the person I’d gotten to know over the last few months would be a person I could talk to and be real with- something I could never do with my ex unless I wanted to be judged and then ignored about it. He listened, and attempted to offer a helpful response- which wasn’t really helpful, but he TRIED. That was much more than I’d ever gotten from my ex. A few days later, I went over to his apartment for the night. We had dinner, it was off. The conversation was off. The movie was uncomfortable- like we were just sitting through it to get it over with. He went to bed early but I was so wide awake that I sat in the living room playing on my phone and watching the storm outside for another 3 or 4 hours so I wouldn’t toss and turn in bed and keep him up sine he had to work in the morning. In the morning, I had to drive home at 7am on only a few hours of sleep. I was cranky from that and the way the previous evening had panned out.

I laid in bed for a bit and snuggled his dog. She’s so sweet. She loves me and I love her-- so do my boys. I laid there thinking “this feels like it might be the last time I ever see her... so I just scratched her head and took a photo to remember the moment.

The goodbye was awkward, and I texted him when I got home and apologized for acting weird the night before and that morning. I told him things felt off for some reason and laid out some things that were on my mind. I thought open communication would be a good thing and that it would help him to understand my headspace and show him that I felt comfortable enough with him to talk to him about these things.

The next week, he avoided hanging out with me. The week after that, same story. I asked him to come to a concert with me on a Sunday night- he said he’d love to if it wasn’t on a Sunday. Then I asked him about another concert on the following Tuesday night- I jokingly asked him to play hooky from work and come with me. He said he couldn’t- but I understood that; it made sense. I went out of town for the weekend to visit my brother and he said that we’d plan time to get together once I returned. I returned and he mentioned nothing about getting together. I brought it up once and he didn’t acknowledge it, but he still talked to me, just a lot less than usual.

The conversations we were having sounded like repeats of previous conversations- and I honestly don’t know if he didn’t remember telling me some of those things, but he liked to partake in a beer or two or three... pretty frequently- so I’m not certain that some of the time he talked to me, he wasn’t 100% there. But that wasn’t the point- he was just sending me pleasantries and fillers as texts. No real conversation.

I started getting worried because my mind went to the worst possibility. He was checking out. We were done- or almost done. I asked him if we were good because it seemed like we weren’t. He said he was good and that work was just really rough lately and he was basically working and sleeping all the time. All of my worries melted away and I instantly felt a sense of relief-- I had been worrying for nothing! So I asked him if he had time for an evening hangout on Friday or Saturday or a different night if those didn’t work. I’d come to him and bring food and we could watch a movie and veg out for a bit.

That was last night.

This morning I woke up early to go to a sunflower field to take some fun summer photos. With covid apparently flaring up again, I was trying to find safe summer activities to do before the season’s over. Since I couldn’t get my guy to go with me to basically anything, I decided I’d do the things he didn’t want to do with me on my own and do the other things with him. It wasn’t so much a compromise as it was me just learning to be okay with having someone who didn’t want to take part in activities with me. My mom went with me an we got some gorgeous photos. I kept an eye on my phone expecting him to reply to my hangout request, because once he said yes- I’d also ask him to go with me to visit my brother in a couple weeks an have a fun beach weekend.

On the way home, I went through the drive thru at the bank and while I was waiting, I noticed my phone blinking.

It was a text. From him.

I don’t think we’re a good match for each other. There has been numerous occasions where you’ve said or done something (even in the name of “joking”) that hasn’t sat right with me. I’m sure there have been times you felt the same about me as well. I don’t want to waste any more of your time either. I hope you find a man who is a better match for you.

First of all, what the actual fuck. Secondly, there *have* been numerous occasions. Third- I have no idea what I said or did... Best I can muster is that since I’m pro equal rights and pretty liberal, maybe it came across as offensive because I think he has family members who are... trump-esque. I barely brought up politics because I didn’t want to make things weird. He is a cop and I never made jokes unless he did first (he’d regularly joke about cop stuff and talk about how he isn’t a typical cop and how he doesn’t like hanging out with other cops or doing cop stuff or even talking about cop stuff outside of work.) He gave me a whole spiel about he’s not a “cop cop” when we first met, like he was trying to sell himself to me-- which he didn’t need to do, but I thought it was cute.

I asked him if we could talk for a few minutes later in the day because I wasn’t understanding what was happening. I told him that I wasn’t trying to change his feelings about anything, but I wanted to talk. He totally blindsided me.

He never responded.

It’s basically midnight and he’s had most of the day to respond. Five months and he can’t even give me an explanation.

This is what I get for trying to trust people.

Tomorrow- or later tonight- I’m sending one last text and blocking him. He knew that’s how my ex ended things and how insensitive it was and how wrong it was. We had this conversation. And after five months, he just strings me along for the last few months and then ends things with a text. So goddamn insensitive.

I know I’m better off without someone like him in my life, but this hurts so much more than the last time because at least my first ex was a jerk and it was on brand for him. This one... my second ex... he was supposed to be better than this. He was supposed to be nice. He wasn’t supposed to hurt me, not like this.

#quarantine #quarantine breakup #breakup #love #loss #heartbreak #heartache #quarantinebreakup #lockdown #betrayal #folklore #longstoryshort #taylor swift #taylorswift

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nishinoya-is-baby · 4 years

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🌸Restoration🌸

🌹Hi!!! This is dedicated to @yamagucji and our shared love of plants and nature! Go check their blog out and give them some love!🌹

🌺(Yamaguchi x GenderNeutral!reader) {TW: Mentions the death of reader’s cousin} Angst (this is my first angst, please be nice)->fluff (The italicized word/words after a flower are what the flower symbolizes, and the reader isn’t saying it!)🌺

🌼**Please be aware of the fact that flowers have different meanings based on your sources! My source is from a book where the author did research on the flowers and chose either the most common definition or the definition that made most sense to her!**🌼

Everyone knew of the garden. The massive 3-acre garden. The garden that had flowers, succulents, and various other plants. The garden that was open to all visitors on Saturdays. The garden who’s owner memorized the meanings and history of the flowers that graced it. The garden that held various activities for families and the elderly. The garden that gave so much, but took nothing. Everyone knew of the garden. The garden that closed it’s gate four months ago. The garden that was filled with dead plants. The garden that no longer had visitors. The garden that stopped holding events. The garden that had cracks in the once moist and rich soil. The garden who’s owner’s heart felt the pain of every fallen petal and every bug-ridden leaf.

The owner, Y/n, hadn’t had the mental or physical energy to tend to the large garden. Not after their cousin had passed away four months ago. Their cousin had been the co-owner of the garden, tending to the look of the garden. Had Y/n had it their way, the garden would be unruly, the pathways non-existent as the plants took over the land. Their cousin, however, knew that couldn’t happen. How would they hold all their activities if there was no place to sit or walk? Y/n’s cousin had died without warning, crushing them. After the news had reached Y/n, the garden was immediately closed, a sign taped to the gate saying, “Closed until further notice”. As Y/n’s mental health declined, so did the wellbeing of the garden. Before Y/n could even think about the garden, it had already died. Their beloved plants nothing but dried up scraps that blew around in the gated area. This broke their heart even more.

The garden incident happened two months ago. Four months had passed in total, and they knew they couldn’t live the way they were anymore. They knew their family was running out of excess money to give them. They knew the garden was calling to them louder and louder every day. They knew the innocent plants didn’t deserve the neglect they received. However, when they had tried to walk through the barren garden, they were hit with a wave of nausea. Memories flooding down from their brain into their throat, pushing into their lungs, forcing their way into their stomach. Y/n laid on a random path, shaking and gasping for air until they eventually fell asleep. They woke up two days later, the sour taste of stomach acid on their tongue, a pounding migraine, and an ache in their bones that would last for at least two weeks. After that, they stayed in their house, sleeping during the day and crying at night.

One thing did bring them joy, though. That thing, or rather person, was Yamaguchi Tadashi. They called him Dashi, per his request. He brought them groceries once a week and read to them every 3 days. He was also the one to convince their boss to not fire them and to just give them time. They met a couple of years ago when he came to the garden with a tall blonde boy. He soon became a regular at the garden, often following Y/n around, asking them questions about the flowers they memorized. They became friends quickly, hanging outside of the garden. Y/n remembered the time their cousin told them to ask Dashi out every time he came to read to them. Every day when they woke up to a text from him, they felt their heart heal just a little bit. He gave them the inspiration to keep going. The way he showed them soft and tender care, made them feel like the chills in their bones was slowly going away. They knew he loved them. The only issue was that they didn’t know how long it would take for them to get back on track and know that they truly loved him back. That was why Y/n was currently at a floral shop, about to design a personalized bouquet meant for the sweet and quiet boy. They had already practiced their speech in the morning and texted him to meet them at their local coffee shop.

“What would you like to be in your bouquet?” the nice florist asked. “May I have White Jasmine amiability, Hibiscus delicate beauty, Angelica inspiration, Aster patience, Bellflower gratitude, White Carnation sweet and lovely, Flax I feel your kindness, and Lily of the valley return of happiness, please?” they asked. After the florist gave them their bouquet, Y/n made their way towards the coffee shop. When they got there it was 12 in the afternoon. “Right on time,” Y/n thought. They saw Dashi sitting at a two-person table in a pretty empty corner. When he saw them walking towards him, he quickly got up and gave them a firm hug. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you inviting me places again!” he exclaimed. “Yea, it’s nice to be out again,” Y/n said. When they both sat down was when Y/n noticed a cup of (favorite hot drink) sitting on their side of the table. Yamaguchi noticed their gaze at the cup and let out a quiet, “I thought I’d order it early. I know this place makes their drinks too hot for you.” “Thank you, Dashi,” they said. “Of course! Who’s that bouquet for? You haven’t talked about flowers for a while now? Is everything okay?” Y/n smiled at the way his words were laced with both care and concern. “Well, this bouquet is for you, Dashi,” they said, handing the delicate flowers to him. “Oh! That’s really sweet of you, Y/n. Do you want to explain the flowers to me?” he asked, a blush gracing the soft skin on his cheeks. “The Jasmine means amiability, and it’s there because you’re so friendly to not only me but others, too. The Hibiscus means delicate beauty because you’re beautiful inside and out. The Angelica means inspiration because you inspire me to wake up and at least try to make things better. Aster means patience because you’ve stuck with me throughout this whole ordeal. Bellflower means gratitude because I’m grateful for you. White Carnation means sweet and lovely because that’s exactly what you are. Flax means I feel your kindness because anyone and everyone can feel your kind and loving heart from a mile away. Finally, Lily of the valley means return of happiness, because every time you talk to me, I feel the cracks in my heart feel a little less deep. Listen, I know you like me romantically. I would have to be blind to not see it. As much as I want to say I like you too, I can’t. My brain and heart are still feeling so many things, and I think I should focus on myself before I focus on if I have feelings for anyone in general. Thank you for being there for me. Maybe, when I’m better, we can go out on a date and see how things go. I guess I did all this just to ask you this question. Will you restore the garden with me?” Y/n asked. There was a silence between them for a few moments, but Y/n knew it was needed for him to process everything and arrange his thoughts. They both drank their drinks for a few minutes before Yamaguchi spoke up, saying “Thank you for the bouquet. It’s probably the nicest thing anyone has done for me in a long time. As far as my feelings go, I respect your decision and maybe we can talk more about it when you’re ready. Hell yeah about the garden. I wouldn’t want to do anything else than to restore that place with you!” “Sounds great!”

After that interaction, the two immediately got to work. To say it was hard work would be an understatement. The first step was to get rid of all the dead plants and weeds that were still in the garden. It took about two weeks to get a majority of the junk out. He held them every time they started to break down. Whether it be sadness about their plants or memories of their cousin. When they were in a happier mood, they would chase Yamaguchi with a rake, both laughing their asses off. The second step was to remove the old and nutrient-deficient soil in the planters. this was probably the hardest step. Digging 3 inches into the soil of all the places designated for plants was a hard job. As the days went on, Y/n’s mental health improved. They knew that if their cousin was there, they would’ve been happy, and that made Y/n happy. Not only that, but as the restoration went on, Y/n and Yamaguchi became more flirty and comfortable with each other. He started staying the night at their house. His excuse being that he wanted to be there so he could jump straight into work in the morning. It took about 3 weeks of daily work to get all the soil out. Word had gotten out that there was something going on at the town’s beloved garden. People started a donation page for the garden, wanting to help out Y/n with the finances. The third step was to get new soil in the places where plants were going to be planted. This was the easiest step, as all they had to do what pour soil into the planters. This took about 4 days to do. Some might say that’s a long time to just pour dirt in certain places, but the whole garden was 3 acres with a majority of it being planters filled with flora. The fourth and final step was to choose the plants that would be put into the planters. This was Y/n’s favorite step. When choosing the plants, Y/n let Yamaguchi choose the succulents, vines, and other plants. Anything that wasn’t flowers. Y/n went on their own to get the flowers, knowing they had to get meaningful flowers. They ended up choosing the same flowers that were in the bouquet she made for Yamaguchi, Allium prosperity, Alyssum worth beyond beauty, Baby’s breath everlasting love, Pink carnation I will never forget you, Chervil sincerity, Coreopsis always cheerful, Cosmos joy in love and life, Everlasting pea lasting pleasure, Fennel strength, Feverfew warmth, Freesia lasting friendship, Hawthorn hope, Wisteria welcome, and a bunch of other flowers that had lovely meanings.

When they were putting in the last flower, their hands patting down the soil, getting closer and closer until their fingers interlocked. The earthly smell of the soil contrasted the sweetness of all the flowers. Bees had already found the gorgeous once more. Once they had both showered up, Y/n walked Yamaguchi toward the gate of the garden. Y/n delicately placed Yamaguchi’s hand on one side of the “Closed until further notice” sign and then placed theirs on the other side. All it took was a nod and smile from the two, and the sign fell to the ground. With the extra funding they received, they were able to advertise the reopening of the garden.

Both Y/n and Yamaguchi were ecstatic, beaming as people passed by them at the front gate. The day went perfectly, families were bonding, kids admired the beauty of the flowers while their parents simply basked in the calming aura of the garden, and elderly people enjoyed watching the insects and birds from the comfort of various benches. That night was when Y/n decided to have a serious talk with Yamaguchi. They had him sat down on their couch, sitting on the other side themselves. “So, you wanted to talk?” he asked, concerned that they weren’t happy with how the day went. “Yes. Let me go get your gift,” they said. When they returned, they held a bouquet in their hands. “Another bouquet? What’s the occasion?” asked Yamaguchi. “Well...I believe I’ve taught you enough for you to know the meanings of these flowers,” they said. It was true. Throughout their friendship and the time restoring the garden, Y/n taught Yamaguchi all they knew about plants. Specifically flowers. Yamaguchi stared at the bouquet before saying, “Agapanthus means love letter, Baby’s breath means everlasting love, Clove means I have loved you and you have not known it, Heliotrope means devoted affection, Jonquil means desire, Lilac means the first emotions of love, and Myrtle means love. If you’re trying to say what I think you’re saying, I’d love to hear you say it.” Y/n let out a deep sigh before saying, “Dashi, I love you. I realized it slowly as we rebuilt the garden. I feel as though the garden represents my heart, somehow. When my cousin died, the garden died too, along with my heart. When you helped restore it, though, you also helped restore my heart. All while finding your way into it. I’ve never been happier. Seeing the garden in full swing again is what my cousin would’ve wanted.” “Y/n, will you go out on a date with me?”

~Time skip 4 years~

“Y/n, do you take Tadashi Yamaguchi as your lawfully wedded husband?” “I do!” “And Tadashi, do you take Y/n L/n as your lawfully wedded spouse?” “I do!” They stood in the middle of their garden. Flowers representing love and devotion surrounded them. Family and friends applauded as the two kissed, sealing their marriage. When they stopped, Y/n saw butterflies flying around everyone. Somehow, they knew it was their cousin.

🍄Thank you for reading!🍄

(2.2k words)

#haikyuu!!#hq #hq imagines #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #yamaguchi x y/n #yamaguchi imagine #tadashi yamaguchi x reader #hq tadashi #tadashi fluff #haikyuu tadashi #yamaguchi tadashi #hq yamaguchi

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violetnotez · 5 years

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Shopping Trip HC- Kirishima x Reader

@fxndxmxnxce!:Hi! i just saw your blog but you already look so good😍 could i get a request where kirishima and his s/o go out to get groceries for cook dinner for their classmates? they goof off; riding around in carts, taking random samples of food, and even recite vines while they look for ingredients🥺 just a lot of tooth rotting fluff because why not :D bonus todoroki gives them endeavor’s card (in which he stole) to let them pay for the stuff tonight LMAOO thanks i love you🥰🥰🥰

ACK MY FIRST REQUEST THANK UUU! I love getting requests ngl :) I made this into a HC hope you dont mind!

Kirishima x reader

Genre: OVER LOAD of Fluff

Word Count:

Warnings: Choatic Energy throughout

(RULES | MASTERLIST COMING SOON| REQUESTS OPEN!!! :))

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It was the week before exams and everyone was beginning to cram big time

Everyone was in the common room, every surface covered in textbooks and notes from the semester

Izuku, Ochaco, Iida, Froppy, Ojiro, and Toru were on the training grounds practicing for the practical exams- Todoroki was studying on the couch

Momo was giving all of Bakusquad (including you) a huge study session that made all of your heads hurt (minus Bakugo- he wouldnt be caught dead studying with a bunch of ‘idiots’)

All of you were exhausted- you had been going at this since 9 in the morning at it was already close to dinner time

Kirishima had his head resting in your lap, you playing with his fire red hair as Momo rambled about Geometry, while Kaminari and Sero tried desperately to take notes as fast as Momo talked

Mina had given up an hour ago and was now standing in front of the fridge

“Ughhhhh”, she whined, “we have no fooooooood.”

“Cmon Mina we got like a hour to dinner you can wait!” Kaminari said while writing like his life depended on it (which it kinda did- he was borderline passing his classes as it was- if he failed these exams he was screwed)

“Oh be quiet Kaminari your the one who eats all the food half the time!” Mina yelled frustrated

When Mina’s hangry- she is HANGRY

“Dont blame this on me- my quirk isnt the one that depends on eating to work!”

“If your trying to imply Im the one who ate all the food then you are completely wrong!” Momo spat out at Kaminari, kinda looking hurt

“Can you all keep it down-Im trying to read,” Todoroki interjected calmly, not even looking up from his book

To be honest, all of you forgot Todorki was even in the room, so it kind of threw you all off

“Hey-why dont me and y/n just go pick up some food! The market’s not too far away” Kirishima sat up, his hair in odd angles from you combing it with your fingers

You knew what he was doing- he had zoned out too, and he just wanted a way to leave the study session, but he was too polite to actually leave it (for Momo’s sake- she got way too excited over study sessions)

You yawned, stretching from sitting for so long- “thatd be nice, Id like to stretch my legs a little.”

Kaminari shrugged, “Sure why not- not like were going anywhere, mind as well get some snacks-”

You started making a list of everything everybody wanted and it was long- Kaminari and Sero were shouting out everything fattening, from Takis to Twinkies to 2 liter sodas, Mina yelled she wanted a bunch of sweets like Pocky, Momo was a little healthier but she wanted more expensive things like sushi, and Kirishima wasnt helping since he wanted to buy everything for everybody

You two started adding up stuff in your head and you knew for sure there was no way you could pay for all this, even if everyone chipped in

You gave Kirishima a look, letting him know that this wasn't going to work- somebody had to help you two out or ask for a little less

He knew you hated to let your friends down, so he smiled, letting you know he had it under control

“Uh, guys, we cant get so much food- this is way too much and we cant buy all this- can we maybe take something off the list?” kirishima asked as Kaminari and Mina began to whine

To your surprise, Todoroki walked over and handed you something. You looked down at it seeing it was a credit card.

You gasped slightly- “No Todoroki we cant take this this is yours-”

“I dont care what you do with it or how much you charge on it,” he said calmly, “as long as it makes you all quiet.”

“Of course- thanks man, we owe you one!” Kirishima smiled, grabbing your hand, pulling you up and shuffling you out the door

“Well you were desperate to leave, huh Kiri?” you kidded as you cuddled closer to him as you both walked to the store

“Anything to spend some alone time with you princess,” he smiled, kissing the top of your head, “Also.... I think my head was starting to hurt from listening to Momo- what even is a Pythagorean theoreom?!”

Oh Kiri you poor baby

You both get to the supermarket and the cute lovey dovey Kirishima disappears

He instantly gets super excited because FOOD

And carts

“Cmon y/n they have kiddie carts!”

“Kirishima no those are for kids!” you laugh, taking the cart from him gently

“Ahhh cmon babe please!!!”

You kiss him on the cheeck- “No Kiri sorry!” (he pouts tho)

You get one of the normal carts and he instantly stands on the back and holds on to the wired basket, forcing you to push him around

You shake your head, smiling, because he looks so cute just standing there having the time of his life as you push him around

“A Thousand Miles” comes over the speakers and you both look at each other with the most shocked but happy faces ever

-30 seconds later-

Your now on the back, Kirishima is pushing your around like a maniac, has knocked you into 3 stands of food already, but you dont care because your both laughing trying to sing the lyrics

“IF I COULD FALL INTO THE SKY” Kirishima practically shouts, holding a can of whip cream like a microphone

“DO YOU THINK TIME COULD PASS ME BY!” you sing after

“BECAUSE I WOULD WALK A THOUSAND MILES JUST TO SEE YOU!” you both shout out, getting some dirty looks from a pair of old ladies at the meat section (which you could care less about)

You both look at each other and just start busting up, Kirishima taking you to the next aisle

You get to the candy section, where Kirishima is still laughing over the old ladies’ glares at you two

You kinda calmed down, going back to the task at hand, picking out all the candies Mina had asked you to get her

He then sees a bag of Life Savers

PLS TELL ME SOMEBODY REMEBERS THIS VINE

“Hey y/n-” he taps your shoulder, giggles barely being contained from him

You turn around, a grinning Kiri holding a bag of Life Savers

“Le-fes Sa-ve-airs”

You roll your eyes, giggling, “Oh my gosh Please Kiri no more vines!”

“Oh calm on vines are so awesome!” he exclaims, putting the bag of candy back in its original space

“Yes but I think we’ve annoyed enough people with our vine references”

“Only two old ladies!”

“Two old ladies that will probably get us kicked out” you laughed, giving him a kiss

“Lets just get the food so we can go back to the dorms- Im getting kind of hungry seeing all this food…”

“Wait, youre hungry?!?” he asks super concerned

“Just a little,” you shrug off, “its no big deal-”

“WAIT HERE” Kirishima practically yells, seemingly not hearing what you said and runs off

You shake your head, knowing your boyfriend too well- he could get impulsive sometimes

You got all the food and was waiting in the checkout line when you spotted Kirishima trying to balance a bunch of small, clear cups in his hands

“Are those--- samples?!” you asked, shocked that he went around the WHOLE store getting all those samples

“Yep!” he says super proud, happy he was helping his girlfriend

“Oh my gosh Kiri I love you, you know that, right?” you exclaim happily, your stomach growling as you began to eat out of one of the cups

KIRISHIMA.exe is BrOkEn

If he knew food would get you so happy he would have brought you WAY more food A LOOOOOOONG time ago

You got to the check out and the price- was- ALOT

You gulped, hoping the rumors of Todoroki being extremely rich were true

And thank the gods they were because you were able to pay for the food no problem

Then you realized- you had 10 bags full of food you had to lug back to the dorms

And it was close to a 15 minute walk

You started picking up bags, already feeling the weight of them after 3

“I got them, don't worry babe!” Kirishima gingerly took the bags from your hands and began to strap them across his arm

‘Wait Kiri no theres alot you can't hold all-”

Kirishima put a kiss on your cheek, instantly making your cheeks warm

“Its okay I can carry them!” He smiled, making your insides all fuzzy

How did you get such a cute boyfriend?

“At least let me hold 2!”

You literally had to claw two bags away from him because he refused to let you hold any because it wasnt “manly” for his girlfriend to have to hold a bunch of heavy bags by herself

The walk back was a breeze, Kirishima seemingly unbothered by the weight and you two both enjoyed the sunset coming down against the mountains

When you finally got back, all your classmates were there, everyone in their pajamas and on the floor

All the notes and books had been replaced by pillows and blankets and everyone was in their lounge or sleep wear

“Oh hey ya two love birds, you got the food!” Kaminari yelled out happily, wearing pajamas with lightning bolts on them

“Hey Pikachu,” you laughed, “and yes, we got your food,” throwing him a bag of chips (which he devoured instantly like an animal)

“Why is everyone in their pajamas?” Kirishima asked, putting the bags on the kitchen counter

Mina came over and hugged you, so happy you got her snacks as Uraraka made a pillow float in the air

“We all decided were going to hang out and build a huge pillow fort and have a sleepover!” Uraraka exclaimed excitedly, Froppy and Momo helping her place the pillows inside the fort

“Awesome!” Kirishima shouted excitedly, “Cmon, y/n, lets go get changed!”

He grabbed your hand, Kaminari and Sero making whistle sounds at you two as Kirishima pulled you up stairs

You shook your head, a blush coming on your cheeks

“When did they get so interested in us?” you asked, your face turning red from those dumb whistles

“Dont worry about them babe,” Kirishima said soflty, “their just jealous that i have somebody as amazing as you.”

BONUS

“So,” Ochaco asked, snacking on a cookie, “how were able to pay for all this food?!”

“Yeah, you guys must have spent a fortune,” Tsuyu added

“It was Todoroki,” you explained, “he was nice enough to let us pay for it on his credit card- again Todoroki, thank you for letting us pay for all this!”

Kirishima agreed, his hand wrapped around your waist, “We totally owe you a favor- if you ever need anything, come to us!”

Todoroki nodded in thanks

“Your all welcome”, he replied calmly, “but that credit card wasnt mine-”

“It was my father’s.”

You instantly choke on the soda you were sipping on, Kirishima patting your back to keep you from choking

“Wait-” you gasped out, “We SPENT 500 DOLLARS OF FOOD ON ENDEAVOR’S-PERSONAL-CREDIT CARD?!”

“WHY WOULD EVEN GIVE US THAT CARD IF IT WASN'T EVEN YOURS MAN?!” Kirishima shouts, fear evident in his voice

To say the least, the night just got 10 times more stressful as you and Kirishima were terrified that the #1 Hero was going to come and rip you to shreds for using his money to buy snacks

Requests open!!!!

#bnha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #kirishima #kirishima x reader #mha kirishima x reader #mha kirishima #kirishima imagine #kirishima hc x #kirishima hc #bnha kirishima #bnha kirishima x y/n #kirishima fluff #bnha kirishima x you #bnha kirishima x reader #mha kirishima fluff #mha kirishima x you #mha kirishima hc #mha kirishima x y/n

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ohblackdiamond · 4 years

Text

little t&a (gene/paul, nc-17) (part 25 of 29)

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 part 11 part 12 part 13 part 14 part 15 part 16 part 17 part 18 part 19 part 20 part 21 part 22 part 23 part 24 part 25 part 26 part 27 part 28 part 29

Four weeks before KISS gets back on tour, Gene discovers that Paul’s been cursed by a groupie. For the sake of KISS’ finances, Paul’s comfort levels, and Gene’s libido, this crisis must be resolved. Sexswap fic. In this chapter: Gene makes a housecall; Paul gets some advice from Ace over the phone.

It wasn’t a long ride over to that dingy apartment complex.

Gene didn’t know what he was expecting. The place didn’t look any better in the daylight, and when he got out of the car, he saw his driver reach over his seat and start locking all the car doors. He stepped inside alone, walking the craggy flights of steps up to her old apartment number, knocking on the door in what he knew had to be a useless endeavor.

He was a little hopeful when a different girl answered. A pretty thing, really, with curly black hair and sad eyes. A really pretty thing, he could tell that even from the scant few inches she opened the door.

“Yes?”

“Hey.” Gene paused. “I was here a few nights ago. I was wondering if you had a forwarding address for someone who used to live here, Carol—"

“Carol left a couple weeks ago.”

“I know. I’m just trying to find where she went after that.”

“She didn’t pay her share of the rent.” The girl looked Gene up and down, from the baggy sweatpants to the old floral shirt. “We had to kick her out.”

“I know, I—”

“Did something bad happen? Are you with the police or something?”

“I’m not with the police.” Gene tried to think. If the roommates had kicked her out, then that meant she hadn’t been on the lease, right? The apartment manager would’ve had to have her forwarding address if she had been. Wasn’t that how it worked? “She got into some trouble with a rockstar.”

“Trouble?” The girl repeated, with more innocence than Gene could readily believe, at first. “She kept trying to hex one. Kathy got pissed when she spilled some offering on the carpet…”

“Yeah, trouble.” Gene tried to infuse the word with its usual meaning. Babies and under the table payoffs. He couldn’t tell if she took the bait or not. “Can you help me?”

“Her mom lives in Virginia,” she offered. “She’s not from there, though, I think she’s from… I don’t know, Minnesota or Michigan… somewhere that starts with an M…”

That was barely better than no help at all. He tried to pay attention as the girl kept trailing off.

“Her mom’s got scads of money from her dad dying. She helps her out a lot. Carol said if we’d just give her a couple more days, then she’d be good for the next three months. Swore it. Kathy and Bunny wouldn’t have it, though, ’cause between the rent and the occult stuff, she was too wild for us, and—”

“Do you have her mother’s address?”

“No. Well…” She pursed her lips, thinking, and then held a finger up. “Let me look around, maybe there’s an envelope…”

And she scurried back from the door, still leaving it open those few inches as she rummaged around, the door chain keeping him from seeing much of the place at all. He waited, listening to her scuffle across the apartment, rustling through papers, until finally that dark cloud of hair peeked back into existence at the door.

“No. I’m sorry. Oh, but she used to go to discos! You might wanna check CBGB, or the Ice Pa—”

“I’ve done it already,” Gene said, and walked away.

No good. It had been stupid to hope for any new insight. If he really wanted to push it, there was the possibility of finding Carol at 54 again tonight, but Gene doubted she’d be there, and he doubted Paul would want to go there again. He wouldn’t leave Paul at home by himself for a venture like that, either.

Gene had his driver take him to the nearest supermarket immediately after. The driver had weakly offered to take him to a better part of town, but Gene hadn’t cared enough to go those few extra miles for a little more security.

He’d never really gotten his own groceries. When he was off tour, at home, he ate out more often than not, or he went to his mother’s. She always had a smorgasbord at the ready. Always cooking. Gene remembered that early on during tours, when money was tight, Paul and Peter would take it upon themselves to make dinners for the band—they weren’t great—but at least they actually knew what to get and how to fix it. Gene was pushing his shopping cart through the aisles, looking at rows of dried and canned goods and feeling mildly stumped by the whole affair. He’d never paid much attention to how his mother cooked anything, just the end result, so any comfort food from when he’d grown up was out. But maybe…

He settled on a few bottles of Tab, since Peter and Ace had gotten into Paul’s supply of them prior, and then some spaghetti noodles and canned tomatoes. That seemed depressing, so he doubled back to retrieve some fresh tomatoes, mushrooms, and onions as well. Maybe it wouldn’t be that great of a follow-up to matzo ball soup, if he ended up getting it, but it was definitely an improvement to eating peanut-butter sandwiches for dinner. Then he got a box of vanilla wafers, a package of chocolate-chip cookies, and a bunch of bananas.

Gene was nearing the check-out lanes when he felt someone’s eyes on him. He stiffened and stopped, opting not to turn around—it was probably some kid who’d recognized him. Funny how, as long as he’d been with Paul, he hadn’t gotten spotted for who he was once, except on purpose. He pretended to focus all his attention on the label on a bottle of honey, picking it up and inspecting it, waiting for the passerby to either come closer or move on ahead. In a few seconds, he had it—a girl actually scurrying past. A small girl, only carrying a shopping basket and a purse. If he hadn’t caught a glimpse of her pale, freckled face, he wouldn’t have realized who she was.

Absolutely unbelievable. He had to have expended all his luck over the next three years. Quickly, he pushed his cart to the side and tapped her shoulder before she could make it to the check-out line. She turned around, staring at him, eyes wide and stunned. She tried to take a step back, stopping short of even that movement.

“Good morning, Carol.”

Paul woke up abruptly. The day’s newspaper was on Gene’s side of the bed, the sections separated and askew. He didn’t bother pushing them aside, just reached over to check the clock on the nightstand, finding the note Gene left behind. He reread it once, twice, trying to ignore the paranoid, curdling sensation in his gut, the idea that Gene might have just gotten tired of him and tried to find a quick exit, at least for awhile. He wouldn’t have blamed him, not after last night. Not after four nights and five days of putting up with him.

But Gene was bringing him back food. No, more than that, he was bringing him back matzo ball soup and probably a deli sandwich, and whatever Gene thought constituted real groceries. If he was really leaving, he wouldn’t have bothered to specify. Gene must’ve assumed Paul would sleep late enough to start the day with lunch, and, looking at the clock, he hadn’t been too far off. It was fifteen until eleven.

He sighed, stretching out a bit before getting up and pulling on some clothes. All he had left was the dress he’d bought, the one he’d decided wasn’t nice enough for Studio 54. Just a cream and gold colored sundress. Softer colors than he’d usually have opted for. He picked absently at the thin straps. He never felt more fake than when he was alone, even before all this happened.

The phone rang before he could decide what else to do, whether to wait on Gene or eat something or waste awhile in front of the T.V. It startled him a little. Ever since Gene had come, he’d rarely been in the house enough to hear it ring. Another cushion from reality.

He ignored it. It kept ringing. Six times. Seven. Eventually, the answering machine tape started up, and he heard his own, actual voice, another piece of bewilderment.

“Hey, this is Paul Stanley. If you’ll leave your name and number, I’ll be in touch as soon as I can. Thanks.”

“Paul, this is Ace, I—”

Paul grabbed the phone, sudden relief flooding into him.

“Ace?”

“Who’s this?” A pause, and then. “Paul?”

Paul leaned over the answering machine, gingerly unplugging it to keep the tape from running while he spoke.

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s me.”

“Sorry I’m late calling. Gene got you back home the other night?”

“Yeah.”

“Still not normal yet.” Ace sighed. “What’s she want out of you? You never told me.”

“Nothing I can’t do.”

“Virgin sacrifice?”

Paul froze up for a second, the phone feeling like a rock in his hand. No way had Gene told the guys. No way. It was a moment or two before he could force a small laugh.

“You’re not too far off.”

“Shit, do you have to kill someone? Keep the tits, it’s not worth—”

“No! I—forget it, man. I don’t have to hurt anybody. I can do it.”

He expected Ace to push for a better answer than that, but he didn’t. God. Ace knew the fate of the whole band sat right on Paul’s shoulders, and yet he didn’t want to ask for a better explanation. Maybe he didn’t give a fuck. Maybe he wanted to go out on his own. Maybe him and Peter were just chomping at the bit to splinter off from the group. Why shouldn’t they? Paul was ruining everything for them just as readily as he was ruining everything for Gene. Paul took a deep breath, tried to convince himself he wasn’t being rational, but the impressions were still wobbling in his brain even when Ace started to talk again.

“Peter was gonna check on you, but he’s still kinda…” Ace trailed. “So I told him not to worry about it. You okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“You really okay?”

“Yeah, Ace.”

“Nobody screwed around with you?”

“Ace, if you want a play-by-play of two nights ago, I’m sure you—”

“Okay, okay. Just making sure. Pete’s real worried about you.”

“’M okay.”

“He lit into Gene for letting you go off.”

“He shouldn’t have. It was fine.” God. Gene had told him. Or Peter had called the house. One or the other. Paul swallowed. Something about it hurt, almost made his eyes burn. Weird, how that was. Weird how knowing all the guys really did give a shit about him would be enough to nearly induce tears. Maybe he was just that stressed and worn out. He could almost picture Ace’s mild, affable, probably-hungover look, and that helped him blink back anything incriminating.

“Oh, and you got in the paper, too.”

“No shit?”

“No shit. Not front page, but you’re in the entertainment section—”

Paul scrambled for the newspaper, flipping through the sections. He nearly didn’t recognize his own picture—funny, when he’d been staring at that face for over a week now—but there he was, arm and arm with Gene in a corner photo. Gene’s face was still covered, and Paul was leaning in heavily against him, mouth parted in a strained attempt at a smile. Two days ago. Two days ago and the firmness and warmth of Gene’s hold, the smell of his sweat, all of that had only gotten all the more familiar. All the more something he needed instead of just longed for. Something secure. Something meaningful.

“Gene got his picture after all.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing. ‘Tongue-waggling KISS bassist Gene Simmons cozies up to a Miss Isen at Studio 54,’” Paul read dryly. “They misspelled my name.”

“You look sweet.”

“I look awful.”

“Give yourself some credit. You make a hot chick.” Ace laughed. Not maliciously. Paul didn’t think the guy was really capable of being malicious. He hesitated, running his free hand down his knee, smoothing the material of the dress, before responding.

“Can I ask you something, Ace?”

“Sure, Paulie.”

“It’s a… it’s a thought experiment.”

“Don’t get all pretentious and shit. I know you dropped out of college.”

Paul had never been more grateful that he couldn’t see Ace on the other end of the line. He’d have given himself away already otherwise. He swallowed thickly.

“Ace—this is all just—hypothetical. Let’s say… let’s say you got told you could have what you wanted.”

“Then I’d wait on the catch.”

Paul could feel his mouth twitch up into an unwilling, dry smile.

“The catch is, you could only get it once, and that was it. Just once. Would you still take it?”

Ace didn’t hesitate.

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“’Cause I’d rather have something once than never have it.”

“I’m not like that. If I couldn’t—if I couldn’t keep having something, I’d never—”

“All or nothing, right, Paul?” Paul could hear Ace rustling something on the other end of the line. Papers, maybe. “You can’t go through life like that, you’ll never be satisfied. You gotta compromise.”

“You compromise everything.”

“’M happier for it.”

“You can’t be. Compromising… it’s just giving up, isn’t it?”

“No. Paulie—” Ace made a short, weird sound, almost like he was sucking the spit off his teeth. “You always think you’re figuring on the long term, and you’re not.”

“I am—”

“You’re not. Hear me out, man. You think there’s any guarantees anywhere? Look at the band—”

“This isn’t about the band—”

“’S just an example. We got our big hit. Now what if—what if that’s the best we ever do? Whether you get your dick back or not, what if that’s as good as it ever gets?”

“That… that can’t happen.” It felt like something was stuck in his throat. This wasn’t how he’d expected this to go, not at all. “We just got really big, it can’t be over that quick. There’s no way. Ace, we…”

“What if it is, Paul? What would you say?” Ace’s words sped up in a still-lazy rattle. “What if we go bust a year from now?”

“Don’t talk like that, man.”

“You need to hear it. This ain’t gonna last any way you slice it, don’t kid yourself.” Paul’s stomach churned as he heard the click of a pop top on the other end of the line, and Ace taking a swig and a swallow. “We’ll wear out our welcome. Maybe we already have. Nobody lasts in music.”

“Elvis—”

“Elvis is a joke, Paulie.” Another long gulp. “And if you get past his age, what else d’you got? You got—you got Bing Crosby dragging his own corpse out there every fucking year for his Christmas special. Been wailing out ‘White Christmas’ since World War II. If we’re still playing ‘Cold Gin’ when we’re forty-five, I hope to God someone takes us out back and shoots us.”

Paul chewed his lip. He felt grimmer now than when he’d picked up the phone, almost distracted out of what he’d really been trying to ask of Ace. Ace, who kept up with weird shit like space shuttles and went on drunken rambles about the aliens who’d made him small. Ace, who he’d assumed was just along for the ride on everything. Paul felt an odd curdling in his gut, something like shame for assuming he and Gene were the only ones who ever thought ahead. For writing off Ace and Peter like their myriad addictions made them stupid.

“Shit, Ace, you’re usually a little more positive—”

“’M just trying to make a point here.” Ace blew out a breath loud enough that Paul could hear it over the phone. “If this is as good as it gets, would you say you don’t want it? Would you say you wanted to turn it all back around? Me and you driving cabs? Gene teaching school again? Pete—”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“Because we’re gonna do better than that, that’s why! I-I’ll write whatever crossover songs I’ve got to, we’ll keep on touring, and—”

“But you don’t know that.”

“I do know that!”

“Nah, Paulie. You don’t know that.” Ace let out an odd sound, halfway between a laugh and a sigh. “You’re just betting on it. Ought to bet on something a little more certain.”

“Like what?”

“Like Geno getting over you not having tits.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“That’s got nothing to do with—did he—shit, what did he tell you?”

“Jesus, your voice gets real squeaky. Did it always do that?” Ace said it so mildly, as always. Ace couldn’t even bitch properly when Paul had his whole career dangling on the line. “I haven’t talked to him since we came over.”

“Then—”

“You’re like a glass of water, Paulie, just see-through. You ain’t fooling anyone. Listen, do what you’ve gotta do. But don’t do it based on anybody but yourself.”

“I’ll call you back later, Ace.”

“Okay, girlie.”

Paul hung up before Ace managed a goodbye on the other end. His heart was thudding harder than ever.

#kiss the band #kiss fanfiction #paul stanley #gene simmons #gene simmons x paul stanley #ace frehley

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fleckcmscott · 5 years

Text

Watch What Happens - Chapter 13

Chapter links: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

Summary: Arthur, an aspiring comedian, has struggled to find normalcy and compassion his entire life. Y/N, a hard-working paralegal and transplant to Gotham, has just been put on a case for the Wayne Foundation. When they meet, unexpected sparks fly.

Chapter warning: Adult Situation, Swearing, Angst, Brief mention of past self-harm

Words: 2,501

The train line to Arthur's apartment wasn't yet running when he left Y/N's place. He had to walk home, which he didn’t mind. The cold air helped clear his head as he went, smoking all the way. There weren't many people on the streets this early. A newspaper stand owner was readying his shop. A few homeless people were on steps, wrapped up and trying to keep warm. Some construction workers were walking by, carrying signs.

Arthur looked at every single one of them as he passed. Could they finally see him? Did they know what had happened? Was Gotham able to tell his life had been turned on its head in the past twenty-four hours?

He giggled lightly. I got laid. No. Even as that phrase came to him, it felt crude, wrong. He was ashamed he'd even thought of it. Almost a week ago, Gary had told him to be a gentleman - a gentleman would never say something like that. But he didn’t know how he was supposed to think about what had occurred. He speculated as to whether he'd merely fucked Y/N or made love to her. Slight panic filled him as he realized he needed it to be the latter.

As Arthur passed by, he stopped in front of the grocery where he'd first run into her. It wasn't open yet. But he wanted to relive the experience. His eyelids shut as he remembered the small talk she’d made, her stare, her quiet “night.” Those small gestures, which had seemed natural and easy for her, had started a pattern that captured him. And he didn't want to be let loose.

When he reached the foreboding stairs that led to his home, he sighed and surveyed them. Every time he trudged up them it was a choice. A choice to not give into the negative thoughts and anger that plagued him. This morning, thinking of Y/N, imagining she would be at his apartment waiting to greet him with a kiss, made ascending the concrete a little easier.

When he got home, he followed his usual routine of getting into his house clothes, putting his laundry in the hamper, and checking on Penny. Thankfully, she was still asleep. Before sitting down at the breakfast bar with his journal, he grabbed a cookie (one of the chocolate chip Y/N had brought over) and a short glass of milk. Once situated, he opened the notebook to what he had been writing at her apartment, pondering.

When he had been in his early twenties, he'd kissed a girl, once. She'd been a co-worker at one of his gigs. It had been an impulsive act and nothing ever came of it. But he'd held onto that memory for years, until he'd understood no woman would ever have an interest in him. He'd tried, and failed, to shield himself by not hoping.

Kissing Y/N was different. She said he made her happy, claimed he turned her on. She'd been unbelievably responsive to his touch. And the way she’d begged him to fill her... "Arthur...I need you inside me." Goosebumps broke out at his recollections. He was thankful for the guidance she’d given him. It had been enough for him to feel like a participant instead of the novice he was.

Later, the sensation of her throbbing against his mouth when she came, knowing he had done that to her, had been one of the only times he had ever felt powerful. They'd both gotten up off her couch a little shakily. She'd still looked blissful and somewhat dazed. He smiled as he remembered how her lips had pulled at him, then parted as she moaned. ("She was so noisie! I can never bring her over. Penny woud heer everything.") He still couldn’t fathom how she hadn't minded when his cock chose not to cooperate. And that she’d asked him to come over again - tonight!

She’d offered the use of her shower, and he’d gladly accepted. As he'd watched her pick out towels for him, standing there in her bathrobe and bare feet, he'd been unable to speak. She must have noticed, because she'd kissed his nose and asked if he was all right. He'd nodded.

He'd had to use her shampoo, resulting in his hair smelling like strawberries. Vaguely, he wondered if he smelled like a woman. But he decided he didn't care - the scent kept her closer. He'd wanted to shave, but she only had a wet razor hanging on the shower wall. Since his most recent release from Arkham, he'd used an electric shaver. The therapist and doctor there had advised him not to keep other types of razors in his apartment. Blinking, he’d turned away from it, deciding to shave at home.

After getting dressed and leaving the bathroom, Arthur had found Y/N in the kitchen. She'd put coffee on and two mugs were on the counter. It was a snapshot of domesticity he never thought he'd get to experience in his wretched life. They'd stood together in front of the stove while she made toast and burned scrambled eggs. He was proud of himself for having taken only five or so seconds to put his arm around her back at the waist. Then he’d tried to distract himself from wondering if it was all right by sipping his drink.

She’d leaned into him with her hip, looked up, and said, “I never noticed your sideburns before.” She’d rubbed at one gently, then moved her hand to his chin and pulled him to her for a quick peck. “They’re cute.” He hadn’t said anything in response to the sudden compliment, still suspicious of the idea that a woman, even Y/N, could find any part of him “cute.” Averted eyes and a slight, toothy grin had been all he’d managed.

When she’d served breakfast, he hadn't had the heart to tell her he wasn't hungry. He’d enjoyed the raspberry jam on his toast - he usually only bought grape, it being the cheapest option. And even though the eggs were terrible, he’d smothered them with ketchup and eaten them. She'd been talking the entire time, telling him about her upcoming day and asking about his. But he'd only half heard her. He was too busy trying to figure out how he was ever going to interact with her normally after all this.

His eyebrows pinched. Even before his first breakdown, connections had been impossible for him to make, and Arkham hadn’t exactly been a place to seek warmth. For so many years, he'd yearned for someone, to matter to that person and know what it was to love them. He was at a loss as to what to do now that he had it. If he had it.

Changing the context of how he thought of himself to include not only mentally ill loner but also potential romantic partner, would be a mindfuck. He wasn’t sure he was up to the task. And he knew he had nothing to offer besides his problems and his heart, whatever that was worth. He hoped it would be sufficient.

Holding his pen, he bit his lip. He wouldn't be able to take back the words once they were out. Carefully, writing as clearly as he could, he let the ink touch the paper. "I think I love Y/N. Shud I tell her? What if its to soon? I don't want her to be upset." Staring at what he'd written, Arthur let out a long breath and lit a cigarette. Then, smiling, he put his head down as his eyes welled up. He wiped at them hastily.

He had left Y/N’s apartment reluctantly. Even after her invitation, he felt as though stepping out her front door would wake him up from a dream he’d never return to. The solid feeling of her lips on his, her tongue teasing his mouth for entry when they'd kissed goodbye, helped assure him there'd be more. Part of him had wanted to tell her he loved her, like he'd just written in his notebook. It would have been nice to experience saying it to someone. But he'd forced himself to hold back. That was a vulnerability he couldn’t allow. Not yet. But he hoped she'd been able to see it in his eyes and feel it in how he'd touched her.

As he took a drag off his cigarette, he crossed out the word "think" and replaced it with "kno."

Arthur had come dangerously close to confessing everything to her. It would have been a relief to get it out the way. To have her end it if she decided he was too much of a mess to take on, which he assumed was likely. But he hadn't been able to go through with it. And the permission she'd given him to keep his secrets, even though she'd told him she wanted to know him, had been confusing. Now he wasn't sure how much she actually wanted to learn.

But she kept asking so many questions.

He didn't know what he was obligated to tell her. That one of the few times Penny had paid attention was when he'd been hitting his head against the shower wall? That she’d had him committed more than once? He wasn't upset with Penny for that - he was grateful she’d momentarily cared enough to stop him from hurting himself. But on many days he wondered why. Arthur Fleck was a meaningless speck. Born to be put upon and feel bad while trying to take care of his mother and deal with whatever other shit life decided to throw at him.

Taking a deep breath to quell his mind, his eyes shut. Sitting there all day, counting down the minutes until Y/N touched him again, wasn't going to help. There was vacuuming that needed to be done. The bathroom had to be cleaned. And he needed to start his day so he could go out and find a job.

He'd cut back on groceries, changing from seltzer to tap water, buying white instead of wheat bread, getting TV dinners that were marked down because they were close to expiring. But it was still difficult to maintain his meager savings. Maybe he could pick up a spare shift at Amusement Mile. It was the off season, but there had to be work to do.

He wrote another line in his journal before closing it: “Gotta work on more jokes. No time to waste."

After getting up from the breakfast bar, Arthur padded into the kitchen to start Penny's Farina porridge. Still pretty full from Y/N's delightfully awful cooking, he started making Penny an extra portion. He felt a twinge of remorse for having left her alone all night. He knew he was all she had. Until four weeks ago, she'd been all he'd had, too.

Once he was in the bedroom, he opened the window shade and sat in the chair next to her. He studied her face before reaching out, wondering if she would be proud of him if she knew what had happened. Then he peeled the blanket back and touched her hand. "Mom, come on,” he said gently. “It's time to wake up."

Her eyelids started to flutter; she eventually focused on him. "Happy."

He gulped, concentrating on her face. Ask how I am. I finally have something good to say. I did my act! I'm in love! He was sure he looked as desperate as he felt. Please notice me…

It took her a few seconds to sit up. "Happy, I wrote a new letter. It's on the coffee table."

Sighing, he turned to look out the window. "Okay." After nodding to himself, he stood and helped her out of bed, lifting her light frame gently until she was stably on her feet.

As he guided her to the living room, she spoke. "You smell like perfume."

He smiled, the hurt in his chest softening a bit. "That's because I was with Y/N. I had a big date." A big overnight date, he thought with pride, then laughed as he blushed. He deposited Penny on her usual chair and flicked on the TV. On the way back to the kitchen, he grabbed the envelope. As he got out a bowl, he studied the letter. What on earth could his mother be constantly writing to Thomas Wayne about? He checked briefly to make sure she wasn't paying attention, then opened it, his back to the living room.

His reading wasn't the best, and it took him time to take in the words on the page. "Your son..." "Our son..." He reread those key phrases, thinking he must be mistaken. As he went further, his grip on the papers tightened. "Arthur is a good boy." His jaw clenched. "...how happy he is most of the time." "I love you forever, Penny Fleck."

Slowly, he folded the letter back together and stuffed it in its envelope. Despite the deep breath he took, he couldn't stop the confusion, anger, and hint of excitement from blooming in him. A scowl came across his face as he tried to control himself, failing already.

Arthur slammed his fist on the counter, knocking the bowl on it to the floor with a crash.

Penny called from the living room. "Happy, what happened? Did you hurt yourself again?"

"How come you never told me?" he yelled, going to the living room entrance.

She stood from the chair, pointing at him. "Is that my letter? You have no right opening my mail!"

He slowly advanced on her. "How could you keep this from me?"

Penny ran into the bathroom, faster than he'd seen her move in years. "You're gonna kill me. You're gonna give me a heart attack!" she shrieked, slamming the door and locking it.

"I'll give you a-" he followed her and pounded on the door, then jiggled the handle.

"I'm not talking to you until you stop being angry!" she yelled.

Immediately, he withdrew, pacing back and forth. "Okay. Okay," he said meekly. "I'm not angry, Mom," he said calmly, shoulders tightening as he approached the bathroom again. "I'm not angry." Leaning in, he put his hand on the door. "Please. Mom. Is this real?"

There was a long pause before her muffled voice came through the wood. "He's an extraordinary man, Happy. A very powerful man." Arthur stared at the door in disbelief. "We were in love. He said it was best that we not be together because of appearances."

When he leaned his head against the door, he sighed. "And I could never tell anyone-," she continued, "-because. Well, I signed some papers." His eyes drifted shut. "And besides, you can imagine what people would say about Thomas and me. And what they'd say about you."

His answer came quietly, voice rough with emotion. "What would they say, mom?"

He heard her intake of breath before she answered. "That you're an unwanted bastard."

Tag list (Let me know if you want to be added!): @harmonioussolve @clowndaddyfleck @sweet-nothings04 @stephieraptorr @rommies @invisiblewispofwhimsey @let-the-stars-fall-in-the-abyss

#arthur fleck #arthur fleck fanfic #arthur fleck x reader #arthur fleck x ofc #arthur fleck x female reader #joker 2019 #watchwhathappens

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sebstanismyman · 5 years

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The Supermarket Mishap

Summary: Eddie goes to the store with his 4 year old daughter and suddenly finds her missing. Richie is just fortunate enough to be caught with her, and a raging Eddie misunderstands the situation.

Word Count: 2,536

A/N: This is the first fanfic I’ve ever written, so i apologize for any mistakes. constructive criticism is great, I’ll try to fix anything I got wrong and work to improve my writings! I hope you enjoy! 😁

~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie had woken up this morning to his four year old daughter, Abbie, jumping on his bed. Myra and Eddie had been together for 3 years before they decided to have kids. However, a few months after Abbie was born, Eddie realized how toxic his relationship was, how eerily similar Myra was to his mother, and he never wanted his daughter to have the same childhood he suffered through. He divorced her quickly and fought for sole custody of Abbie. Myra put up one hell of a fight, but Eddie won in the end, thank god.

“Daddy can we have froot loops for breakfast?” Abbie asked tilting her head to the side, looking up at her dad with doe eyes. Eddie has realized that she only does this because it usually works in her favor, but how could he say no to that face?

“Yeah sweetheart, we can have froot loops this morning.” He told Abbie, getting out of bed and carrying her to the kitchen. Setting her down at the table, he went to get out everything they’d need for breakfast. After pouring the cereal in the bowls he grabbed the milk from the fridge, only realizing then that there was just enough milk for one bowl of cereal. Not wanting an unhappy child this early in the morning he decided he’d let Abbie have the last of the milk and they could go shopping later.

Once they finished breakfast, Eddie got both himself and Abbie ready to go to the store. They were about due to fill the pantry up anyways, so he made a list of everything they needed and they were off.

Abbie held her dad's hand all the way into the store, once inside they let go so Eddie could grab a shopping cart. Abbie stayed close by her dad and followed him wherever he went, commenting on just about everything in sight. This was typical for a shopping trip, Eddie would routinely go through the store getting all the essentials, Abbie following and constantly asking for random things from the shelves. They were standing in the produce section near the bananas when Abbie saw someone she thought she recognised. “Hey, Daddy-”

“No Abbie, you’ve already got to pick more than enough things to put in the cart. No more, okay bug?” Eddie wasn’t even looking at her when he was talking, too invested in getting everything crossed off his list.

“But Daddy, I saw-”

“Honey I said no, no more asking.” At this point the girl was curious about who she saw, and she was upset that her dad wouldn’t listen to her. She saw the man walk by again only seconds later and decided to go see who it was. Eddie wasn’t looking so she took off. The man took off down the rows of aisles and turned down one of the farther ones. He was very tall and very fast so it was hard to catch up to him. Abbie started running, trying to figure out which aisle this guy turned down, finally finding him by all the breakfast cereals.

She walked up to him as he was eyeing the different kinds of cereal. “I had froot loops for breakfast this morning.” Abbie happily stated, startling the man as he didn’t realize anyone was there. Once he turned and looked at her she knew exactly why he looked so familiar. She gasped, eyes widening “You’re the funny guy from tv! My dad watches you on the tv when its bedtime. He says I can’t watch it ‘cause I’m not old enough. How old do I have to be to watch you on tv? What’s your name?” she rushed out in excitement. This only shocked the man even more. He looked around and there was no sign of this little girl's parents anywhere. He was sure she couldn't have come here all alone, so he decided he’d help get her back to her parents.

He squatted down to her height so he could talk to her easier. “Hi!” He said smiling, “My name’s Richie, what’s your name?”

“I’m Abbie, how old do I have to be to watch your tv show?” She asked again with a questioning gaze.

Richie smiled at that, this kid had most likely barely seen him on tv, but recognised him enough to approach him and talk to him as if they’d known each other for months. “Well, you have to be a big kid to watch my shows. But only your parents can tell you when your big enough. Speaking of, where are your parents, huh?” He asked with hopes of finding them. Richie didn’t want this little girl to be walking around the store alone.

“My daddy was looking at the fruit when I saw you. I don’t know if he’s still there though. That was a long time ago.” Abbie said, even though in reality it had only been about 5 minutes. “We had to go to the grocery store because I had the rest of our milk with my froot loops this morning, so we were all out. And it’s not good to be all out of milk, ‘cause it helps you grow big and strong!”

Richie chuckled, he had very little experience being around kids, but he seemed to be doing ok if Abbie’s enthusiasm was anything to go by. “Alright Abbie, well I bet your dad is worried about you, how about I go with you and help you find him again, okay?” Abbie nodded and at that Richie stood up. The four year old wrapped her little hand around a few of his fingers, and they were off. “So he was by the fruit when you started to follow me?”

“Yeah, he wouldn’t let me tell him that I saw you, so I left. You’re nice. Why can’t I watch you on tv?” Abbie asked again, looking up at Richie as they walked towards the last place they knew Eddie had been.

“Well… uh, there are some things that I do and say that you probably-”

“HEY FUCKER!” They heard from behind. “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER!” Richie turned around to see a furious looking man running towards them. Abbie suddenly let go of his hand and ran at her dad. At that, Eddie seemed to have lost the angry look in his eyes, bending down to envelop his daughter in a tight hug as she ran into his arms.

“Daddy! You said a naughy word. You know what that means.” That took Eddie by surprise. Surely Abbie had to have more to say after somehow being taken from him than that. He set her down and was looking over her as gently as possible, seeing if any damage had been done. “What are you doing? Do I still get a quarter ‘cause you swore?”

He looked at her one more time with worry written all over his face and brought her into a tight hug. “Are you okay sweetheart? That guy didn’t do anything to you did he?” Eddie asked looking back over his daughter's face. He peered over her shoulder and saw the man was still standing there. Though now with his diminished rage, he realized he knew who this guy was. Richie Tozier? The stand up comedian had taken his daughter? This had to be wrong. Richie Tozier was known for many things, but there had never seen anything bad in the news about him ever. He was an asshole in some of his bits on stage, but he always seemed so genuine and caring off stage. He had even been caught multiple times helping out at random animal shelters all over his tours.

Abbie started talking, interrupting Eddie from his thoughts. “He helped me find you!” She said with a bright smile on her face, “He’s the funny guy you laugh at on tv that I can’t watch. I saw him so I followed him but he walks really fast, and I know I’m not supposed to run inside, but I had to to catch up to him ‘cause he’s so fast! And he says only big kids can watch him on tv, and since I’m a big girl now ‘cause I’m four, does that mean I can watch it with you?.”

So Richie Tozier hadn’t taken his daughter after all, she went off on her own. “Baby, you know you can’t run off without telling me, we talked about that. How do you think that made Daddy feel when I couldn’t find you? And you’re not supposed to talk to strangers. What were you thinking! I was so worried about you sweetheart.” Eddie went on, standing up with Abbie still in his arms, holding her tight. He noticed Richie was still standing there, looking awkward as hell if we’re being honest. Eddie figured he owed the comedian an apology, so he started walking over. He felt awful, very loudly and publicly accusing some big shot comedian of kidnapping was definitely not one of his finest moments. “Hi… uh, so there’s been a misunderstanding and I uh, apologize for yelling at you across an entire store.” He started, looking rather guilty. “She’s all I really have right now, and I instantly thought the worst when I saw you with my daughter. I shouldn’t have assumed you were taking her, I mean she’s four and has ADHD. My first thought should have been that she’d wandered off, not that someone had taken her, so I’m sorry.”

Richie couldn’t stop staring at Eddie the entire time he was talking. The man was breathtaking. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen anyone as beautiful, and he had the whole dad thing going for him. He was obviously protective, as well as exceedingly feisty. From what Richie could see, this man was the whole package. He must have been staring for a few moments too long, because Abbie soon had to pipe up with a comment about it. “Did you forget how to talk? Did Daddy scare you? It’s ok, he’s not mean I promise, he just yells sometimes.”

“Oh uh, no no it’s ok. I understand it probably looked really sketchy to see some random grown ass man you’ve never met before holding your daughters hand. I’m sure someone got a video of that whole chaos filled interaction and I’ll be having a fun conversation with my manager, but oh well. What can you do.” Richie said, shrugging his shoulders. He never took his eyes off Eddie once, opting to stare into those captivatingly soft eyes. They were both smiling at each other so endearingly, anyone from miles away could see the pending attraction. Still smiling, Richie stuck his hand out for Eddie to shake. “I’m Richie by the way, but I’m guessing you already know that judging by Abbies knowledge of who I am and following me all the way across the store, just to tell me what she had for breakfast.”

Eddie shook his head, taking Richies hand. “Yeah, I know who you are.” He said blushing and averting his gaze for a second, “My name’s Eddie”

“Well Eds, I’m extremely happy I dragged my ass out of bed this morning to get some shopping done. It’s a pleasure to meet you, and if you’d let me, I’d like to take you out sometime.” Richie couldn’t wipe the shit eating grin off his face if he wanted to. Seeing Eddie blush like that made him feel things he’s never felt before, and it thrilled him to his core.

“I’d love to. Though I feel like it should be me taking you out, seeing as I caused a scene that’s probably gonna have repercussions on your career. The least I could do is take you out to dinner.” Richie could tell Eddie honestly felt guilty about the whole ordeal. He couldn’t really blame him for the way he reacted though, he was only acting on his parental instincts afterall.

“How about you give me your number, and we hash out the details from there?” Richie asked, taking his phone out of his pocket and handing it to Eddie who gladly took it, entering his phone number and contact information.

“Well, I’ll uh see you around then it looks like?” Eddie asked, setting Abbie down and taking her hand in his. He had a hopeful look in his eyes that Richie wanted to get lost in once again.

“You bet your ass you’ll be seeing me again if I have anything to do with it. I’ll text you later today Eds.” Richie said as he started to walk away, “Bye Abbie, stay with your dad now. See you soon Eddie.” and with a wink, he went back to his shopping.

Abbie was slightly confused as to what just happened. “Did the funny guy from tv just ask you on a date? Am I gonna have two dads now? That’d be so cool! There’s a boy in my class who has two dads and he’s cool, we’re friends. Now I can tell him my daddy is just like his!” Opting to not comment just yet and explain to her once they get home, Eddie brought Abbie back to the produce section where he left his cart and went ahead to finished his shopping.

Bonus:

“And then this tiny angry man started running at me and this child. He was the literal human embodiment of a chihuahua I shit you not!” The crowd laughed, making Richie smile, remembering the day he met Eddie and Abbie. “ Anyway, he was running at us, yelling a bunch of shit and basically accusing me of kidnapping, I’m honestly surprised I’m not in jail right now, just because of all the people who witnessed that. I mean who’s side are they gonna take? Some guy with a kid that’s clearly not mine, or a raging pissed off Dad, who looks like he could throw a bus at someone if they got in his way.”

Eddie was backstage, watching Richie live from one of the many screens that had back there. He loved hearing this story over and over again. He’d told Richie to stop calling him a chihuahua, but it looks like Richie yet again didn’t listen.

The crowd was in hysterics, as per usual, as Richie continued on with his bit. “Yeah and guess who was the dumbass who married the guy? I mean who the fuck goes out and gets married to someone, who’s first words to them consited of ‘hey’ and ‘fucker’ in that order?! Yeah, me. I chose that. I decided ‘hmm? Do I want to get yelled at by a small angry man for literally all of my actions and decisions? Yeah I think I do. I’ll go buy a ring’ and now I get screamed at four times a week for leaving cupboard doors open. That’s the life I choose.”

The night went on with many more jokes, and Richie and Eddie returning home later that evening. They kissed Abbie on the forehead after tucker her into bed, then they were off to sleep themselves, cuddled together and ready for whatever tomorrow had in store.

#reddie #richie tozier #dad!eddie #eddie kaspbrak #reddie fanfic #fanfiction

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motleycrueroadie · 4 years

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Along for the Ride (pt. 6)

Author’s Note: It has been a while, so thank you to anyone who is returning to this story! I will apologize for the delay, going back to work has been hectic. With everything going on right now, if reading this and consuming this kind of content helps you to take a break then I’m very glad to provide that. Enjoy xoxo.

Previous Chapters: One I Two I Three I Four I Five I

A lot of time has passed since I’ve been to a party, let alone a party with a horde of strangers. The last time that I was ,what might be defined as, “partying” was during high school. Even though varsity sports were a large commitment, there were always athletes who made it part of their weekly routine to get as hammered as they possibly could on Friday and Saturday night. The football players were the main ones to spend copious hours belligerent, and they turned to the other fall athletic teams to join them. A lot of my teammates were skinny little things who were borderline obliterated within two cups of foamy, cheap keg beer but no other sport could beat them and myself at the beer mile. The athletes were pretty much the only people I partied with because they were the only people I was seeing throughout the year. Yet here I am four years later, having not attended a party since graduation and I was set to attend some random stranger’s party to scope out Tommy’s suggested lead singer.

When Tommy had suggested Vince at dinner last week he went on to explain that he knew him from high school and not from Suite 19 or any other band he played for - which to me was a good starting sign considering that Greg hadn’t worked out. I had not realised I was Tommy’s senior by four years up until he was talking about him and Vince’s high school days. Tommy admitting his age to me really had put things into perspective for myself.

Four years have passed since I graduated and I still had yet to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Upon finishing high school, all I knew with regards to my future was that I needed to be on my own and find myself. To begin, finding out who I was meant that I needed to start from my roots and make my way up. Despite not being completely fit parents, my mother and father were incredibly passionate people. Before the haze of drugs and partying had blinded them, my parents were both madly in love with one another and with music. None of their life was mapped out and planned tediously, otherwise I wouldn’t have been in the picture. When they were seventeen and seniors in high school, my mom found out she was pregnant with me. Even though this put a delay in their goal to travel with the music, it never stopped them. We lived in a 1959 Volkswagen Van and put thousands of miles on it as we traveled from venue to venue following the voices of the 60′s. Of course, we settled down come the fall when the summer tours and festivals died down and I needed to go to school. We would live right here on the Sunset Strip in a shitty little one bedroom apartment. I slept with my parents on a mattress on the floor. During the week I would attend school and they would work at whatever odd job they had found, then come the weekend they would put me to bed and head out for the shows. After their death, I moved in with my grandparents a few hours north of Los Angeles for 7 years until I turned 18. That’s when I set out to find myself. Funny thing is, it’s almost been four years out here and I’m no closer to finding out who I am than the day I left home.

“You’re not that much older than me Janis,” Tommy had said while we were talking about my age, “Mick, when did you graduate high school?” This was another of his attempts to figure out Mick’s age.

“Before your balls even dropped.” Mick was quick to shut Tommy down every time. I smiled at Mick and held out my hand for a fist bump, which to my surprise Mick had returned. Mick was older than the rest of us, but none of us were sure by how much. Even though Mick fronted a bit of a tough exterior, he liked to joke around and have fun like us - He just wasn’t as young as us anymore, it was a different kind of fun.

That night, after the guys had gone back to practicing, I went back to my usual nightly routine. Being that it was Sunday, I didn’t have to go in for work but it also meant that I had to keep my regular sleep schedule since I was due for another 11-7 shift the next day. That left me from the time I woke up at 3:30 pm until 7:00 am to pass the time. This meant that I would have a smoothie and go for a run, come back for a shower and more food and the rest of the time I spent cleaning every nook and cranny in the apartment and reading. Days off though, was time for grocery shopping. There was only one supermarket in the nearby area that was open 24 hours and I was one of the only people who tended to do their shopping at midnight. However, on this night I had company. Nikki came along with me despite the fact that he had work in the morning. It wasn’t until the walk home that I learned the true motive behind the company on the trip. He wanted me to come with them to this party to scout out Vince. At first I was confused.

“Why do you want me to come? It’s your band.” He nodded in agreement, acknowledging that it seemed like an odd request.

“You’ve kind of been along for most of this, so even though it’s not your band I feel it’s only right you come along for the ride.” My continued confusion must have read on my face because he spoke again, “I met Tommy at your diner and you called Mick when I wouldn’t.”

“You would’ve eventually called him yourself, and I’m sure you would’ve met Tommy after your show anyways.” He shook his head at me while we continued walking.

“Janis, I was only in that diner because I was there to see you. Tommy was there by coincidence. I wouldn’t have called Mick either. I would have just let myself be happy I had Greg and went along with it until we became another Suite 19 or London.” I had opened my mouth to reply to him and he cut me off, “I’m trying to say you’ve helped me form this band whether you believe it or not, and I want you there when we’re looking at what could be our lead singer.”

“Then I’ll be there to make sure you get your skinny blonde fucker.” He laughed with me and we continued in comfortable silence back to our apartments. That was almost six days ago, today I stood in the living room of Nikki’s apartment at 4:30 on a Friday waiting for Mick to come so that we could all go to this party. Up until now, I hadn’t really seen Nikki’s apartment, but now that I was in it I realised why. The fact that there were roaches infesting this building was not beyond my knowledge, however I managed to keep them at bay by keeping my apartment clean and the food sealed. The garbage left out by Nikki and the mess all over the place was a haven for all sorts of bugs, evident by the ants and roaches freely roaming the brown carpet (which is supposed to be white). Despite this, I wasn’t assuming that Nikki was 100% a slob - more or less 50% a slob, and the rest I can chalk up to him not knowing any better. I know Nikki hasn’t always had or accepted the type of discipline and skill that a parental figure would instill to keep a tidy home. However, even though I was understanding, it didn't mean that I could bear the smell any longer. Moving out of the apartment, I joined Tommy out on the balcony where he was having a cigarette while Nikki was still getting ready.

“Tell me more about Vince.” I spoke, Tommy turned his head from the view of the Strip to acknowledge my presence. Leaning against the railing next to him, Tommy put his arm around my shoulder. Since our initial encounter at the diner, I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know Tommy a little bit better when hosting dinners and talking to him. He reminded me of the little brother I never got to have, full of energy and youth. We balanced each other out well in conversations, he was able to get me excited and rambling while I reigned him in but listened intently to everything he had to say.

“Why? Trying to see if he’s worth getting into bed with?” Tommy winked at me, I knew he was trying to frazzle me. “Jeez JJ, you haven’t even seen him yet.”

“Looks are just a small slice of the pie, I need to know if he’s got brains or not” I replied.

“Vince’s brains are in his pants. The thing about Vince is that he’s a great guy to be around if you’re a guy.” He took a drag from the cigarette before continuing, “So just make sure he knows you’re one of the guys.” The red car I knew to be Mick pulled up in front of the complex, so I turned back to the apartment where I had left the door ajar and yelled for Nikki.

“Sixx! Mick is here!” I heard something hit the floor behind him as Nikki emerged from the apartment and closed the door behind him. “You don’t lock your door?” I asked him, genuinely confused considering the equipment they kept there for rehearsing.

“Why would anyone want to steal from me?” He answered my question with another question, which was something I was notorious for doing and he knew it.

“Your equipment is in there though.”

“And? Are the people who won’t even talk to me, who live here, going to steal it?” Being that he was a little snarky today, I figured he needed a reminder of who he was talking to.

“Well I guess whoever wants to take your shit needs to get past all the garbage and the smell first.” I replied, walking down the stairs with Tommy towards Mick’s car. His silence was quite audible and I knew I had struck the right chord.

“It’s not that bad in there!” Tommy was quick to come to his defence, especially considering he would be moving in with Nikki at some point. The two of them had discussed this over dinner not long ago.

“You boys have just been spending enough time in it that you’ve become used to it.” I said. In that moment I realised how badly these two boys needed a voice of reason and guidance around. They thought that it was quite acceptable to live like that. “You’re lucky I’m around, I’ll be the one to stop you from being evicted by the L.A Health Department.”

“Get off your fucking high horse.” Nikki scoffed as we grew closer to Mick’s car. I lifted my foot and pressed it into the crook of Tommy’s knee while pushing my hand into Nikki’s chest to throw them both off balance. They both stumbled slightly as I took off into a run, swinging open Mick’s car door I slid into the passenger seat.

“Let’s go!” I yelled, leaning out the window and laughing as Tommy and Nikki fumbled into the backseat. Despite the fact that Nikki had seemed to have woken up on the wrong side of the bed, today he had a smirk on his face as he and Tommy squished their body’s into the backseat of the Mazda. Knowing Nikki, only a little bit, I could maybe conclude he was nervous about whether Vince would work out of not. They sounded good without a lead singer, and I know he wants someone to match the rest of their talent.

“Mick Mars, you ready to go get a blonde fucker?” I asked him, sticking out my hand for a fist bump. He returned the gesture before shifting the car into drive.

“This kid better be good, drummer.” Was the reply that Mick offered as we took off towards the house party. Arriving on the street, the first thing we noticed were the dozens of cars lined up and the second was the noise from down the block. As we got out of the car, Tommy let us know that the noise was Vince. Nikki had commented that he sounded good for now and everyone’s spirits were high. As we entered the backyard, the third thing that we all noticed was how easily these guys stood out in the crowd. The people at this party were very obviously preppy, the colour palette was very warm and looked just like the people I would have hung around with in high school. In fact, if these guys weren’t here then I would blend in quite well. The four of us were stopped in the entrance of the backyard, and I felt a hand on the small of my back as Nikki started making his way into the sea of strangers.

“I want a shot of Jack already and we’ve been here for two seconds” He whispered in my ear as the four of us made our way to the makeshift bar in the middle of the backyard. As we approached the table, Nikki took a bottle of Jack Daniels out of the hand of someone passing by. They turned in protest but then decided against it once taking in the sight of us. Leaning against the table, I was paying attention to the band on stage. The four guys on the stage were playing a cover of Billy Squier’s My Kind of Lover and though it was nothing special compared to the original, I would say the lead singer was using the song to his advantage. The women were flocking to the front of the stage, infatuated with him. Tapping my foot along to the beat, I felt a hand on the small of my back again as the bottle of Jack appeared in my vision. Shaking my head, I gently pushed the neck back towards Nikki. Even though the offer was denied and he didn’t need my attention anymore, Nikki’s hand remained and I was hyper-aware of the fact.

“Fucking cover band?” Mick questioned, sounding displeased.

“Yeah but I’m telling you, I went to high school with this guy.” Tommy continued to vouch for Vince, attempting to convince Mick to see past the exterior. Unlike Mick, I was hearing a voice that could go with the heavy metal these guys have been playing.

“You’re telling me you haven’t played covers to make a cheap buck Mick?” I questioned, looking back at him as he took the bottle of Jack from Nikki. His scowl softened ever so slightly, which served as the silent reply I needed. Tommy and Nikki stepped forward a little away from the table to talk and I stayed there with Mick.

“I know what you mean though Mick,” He glanced his eyes over at me before returning to watch Vince, taking a sip from the bottle. “You want to know if the guy is serious about the music or in it for something else. I get it” He nodded appreciatively, a man of few words. I couldn’t tell if I was on the right track, but when he stuck his fist out towards me I knew I had been right. Quickly bumping my fist against his, I caught his smile as he took another sip from the bottle.

“This isn’t our style.” Mick called out to Nikki and Tommy. The two looked back at Mick before Nikki motioned his hand out to the crowd in front of the stage.

“I don’t care if he can sing or not, look at what he’s doing to those chicks” He replied. Tommy turned his whole body around and came walking towards me with a grin, which I knew was not a good sign.

“Yeah JJ, look at what he’s doing to those chicks. You creaming your jeans yet?” He laughed at how uncomfortable I appeared from his statement. I wasn’t ignorant to the stares from both Mick and Nikki as they awaited my thoughts.

“Blondes aren’t my type Tommy.” I replied, but it didn’t appear that he was letting up on me. Standing next to me as we listened to the tail end of the song, Tommy looked like he had something else to say.

“They might not be your type, but blondes are Vince’s type. You’re my bribing factor JJ.” Tommy said, he tried to walk away but I grabbed onto the sleeve of his jacket.

“You are not pimping me!” I whisper shouted at him, he laughed and pulled his jacket out my hand as the song ended.

“We are Rock Candy!” Vince said into the microphone as he exited the stage. Nikki returned to the table beside Mick and myself, his arm going around my shoulder.

“Shitty name” mumbled Mick and I nodded in agreement.

“I heard something about Tommy pimping you out to Vince,” Nikki said low enough that only I was hearing it. Shifting under the weight of his arm I looked up at him.

“ Not only are blondes not my type, but neither is being pimped out” I replied as we watched Tommy and Vince embrace. “His voice is right for you guys, but you’ll need to help him tweak it. Billy Squier is much different than what you guys are playing.” Nikki nodded in agreement with me. The two of us continued to watch Tommy and Vince talk as Tommy pointed back at the three of us before handing him something. He bounded back to us with the type of energy that I envied.

“I gave him the tape to listen to, it’s got my number on it so I told him to call!” Tommy sounded excited, so I took it that the exchange between the two of them went well. For the sake of these three guys and all the hard work that I had seen them putting into this band thus far, I was really hoping that this would all work out for them. More so, I was quite excited to leave this party and return home to relax before my shift began and I would be dealing with the Friday night leftovers from the Sunset Strip shows.

A couple weeks had passed since we had ventured to the pool party to watch Vince, and despite how excited Tommy had seemed, the man with promise had yet to even give them a phone call. With each day that went by, I could tell the guys were becoming discouraged even though they continued to practice every night like clockwork. I tried to keep things constant for them on my part, and made sure that the door was open to welcome them for dinner every night after practice.

The more that I was around the guys, the more I got to know them. Tommy had learned to play in the drums from the high school marching band, but was one of the most musically inclined of the bunch. When Nikki had met Tommy in the diner, I hadn’t noticed the drumsticks he had been carrying, but since then I had taken note that he did in fact always have a pair glued to him. He was constantly fidgeting with them to the point where I had threatened to toss them into the trash if he hit me one more time while twirling them. In typical Tommy fashion he had apologized profusely. He also told me he appreciated that I was so upfront with him about the things he did that piss me off - something he said his parents were not the greatest at. Mick on the other hand, was a bit of a harder egg to crack. All I could really tell about him was the fact that something seemed to bother him all the time, he never looked like he could quite get comfortable no matter where we were. Nikki and I remained on the same page. We hadn’t really had the opportunity to hang out, just the two of us since Mick joined the trio and I was okay with it for now. What was becoming of increasing concern to me though was their love of substances. The past couple of weekends, the three of them came to the diner during my shift after having watched someone playing at the Starwood or the Whiskey, being as loud and obnoxious as I had ever seen them. Carlos always made sure to poke his disapproving head over the kitchen window and give me his signature “fix it” stare. I tried to shovel bread and water into their systems to slow them down, and they would soon leave just as quickly as they entered, with shouts of “you have to come out soon JJ!” and “live up to the Janis name!” echoing as they exited back onto the street. I knew drugs and alcohol were part of the music scene, and I wasn't a stranger to them myself, but I knew when to stop. Since I hadn’t seen them party in person yet, I couldn’t gauge whether or not they knew when to stop, but a gut feeling was telling me that they did not in fact know when to stop.

Today though, was a Monday which meant a fresh start to the week. Feet to the pavement at 4:30 and I was off. The guys always waited until they heard me going down the stairs before they began playing to make sure that I was awake, it was quite the considerate thing to do. Making my way through the streets of Los Angeles, I noticed that it was absolutely sweltering today and the white shirt that I was wearing would soon become quite see-through. The marquees of the Whiskey and the Starwood adorned names that I don’t recognise but that I’m sure Tommy could ramble on about for hours with the aid of Nikki. Those two could give my parents a run for their money when it came for the love of music. I could turn the radio on or throw in a random cassette and as long as it was rock, those two could name the artist, the song, the album and their thoughts within 30 seconds of the song. I had to admit, it was impressive. Rounding the corner that led back to our street, I was ready for a shower. Glancing down at the white shirt, I noticed that my prediction had reigned true. Crossing at the traffic light, there was a beautiful, red 280Z car parked out front the apartment complex. Knowing the people that lived in the building, there was no one with enough money to own that kind of car. Confused, I headed up the stairs while peeling the shirt off my back and tossing it over my shoulder. There was no music coming from Nikki’s apartment, only lots of voices. Continuing up the stairs, I heard a woman’s voice speak.

“I’m just trying to make sure these guys are good enough to play with you baby.” Those were some odd words. Walking quietly, I paused at the ajar doorway. Mick could see me through the crack but I motioned for him to stay quiet. He started into a riff, while a voice started singing, which I recognised as Vince. After only playing for no more than 30 seconds, the same voice called out, “This isn’t right!” She wasn’t wrong. They mumbled among themselves about how they could change the song so that it sounded better. Nikki said something about muzzling that I didn’t quite pick up but judging by the outcry of curses from the woman, it had to do with muzzling her. Mick just started back into the song again, at a faster pace to silence her. They sounded a lot better. As they started getting into the song I recognised it to be “Live Wire” whose lyrics Nikki had shown me over dinner a while back. Figuring that they would be distracted while playing, I opened the door further which let in more light and I leaned against the doorway listening to them play. Nikki and Tommy had noticed and smiled at me before Nikki motioned with his head over to Vince who was just coming to the tail end of the song. “Holy shit” breathed the woman on the couch.

“Holy shit is right, that sounded great!” I exclaimed. Nikki grabbed my hand and shook it enthusiastically while Tommy yelled out in agreement. Mick in his true fashion just smiled and nodded along. Without even looking at him, I knew Vince was staring at me. Sticking out my hand for an introduction I spoke to Vince, “Janis Jade, you must be Vince?” He took the hand and gave it a firm shake, pausing while opening his mouth to speak.

“Tommy said you would be here,” He glanced over his shoulder at Tommy and back at me, giving me a once over. “And I have to say I’m quite glad that you are.” Glaring at Tommy, he feigned innocence and shrugged his shoulders. Damn bastard did try to pimp me out. Dropping Vince’s hand I side stepped him and stuck my hand out for the woman who remained sitting on the couch through all this.

“Janis Jade, I’m Nikki’s upstairs neighbour.” She looked at my hand but did not return the gesture.

“Baby, you better not be getting any ideas with her around just because she’s sleeping with Nikki.” Though she was quite ignorant, I kept my cool. I was as covered, if not more, than some of the people he was talking to at the pool party. Glancing over my shoulder at Nikki who was beginning to open his mouth, I stuck my hand up slightly to signal him to stop.

“My apologies sweetheart, I’m sure my midriff was giving him all sorts of ideas.” Grabbing the white shirt from over my shoulders I pulled it over my head. My sweat had made it so that my cleavage was as bright as day but the rest of my torso was covered. Pulling the shirt taut by the hem so that this was emphasised to her I continued, “There we are.” Letting go of the end of my shirt and turning on my heel, I waved to everyone. “Things are sounding good you guys! I’ll bring down some dinner around 8:30.” The silence in the room was deafening but the thumbs-up of support from Tommy didn’t go unnoticed. Walking out the door, I left the boys to deal with the two blondes.

“I’ll say what we are all thinking. JJ would win in any wet t-shirt contest.” That was unmistakably Tommy’s voice.

Next Chapter

#Motley Crue #The Dirt #the dirt fanfiction #douglas booth!nikki sixx

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redfoxwritesstuff · 5 years

Text

Of Dust and Ashes (Chapter 2)

Clint x ofc

Chapter warnings: Mourning, grief, residual trauma, dead bodies, mention of child Dusting, mention of suicide

AN: Well, we’re here for chapter two. Again, keep in mind it will be a good while until our two people come together. They’ve got a long way to go and are about halfway across the country from each other. While we work to bring them together however, let’s explore what the world after the snap would have likely been like together, yea?

Thanks to @winterisakiller who’s outraged gasps fuel my soul and @tnystrk-exewho is always telling me to go the extra mile and throw in just one more dead body.

The rest of the chapters are on my masterlist. Have a happy Friday <3

Chapter 2- The Dawn of a New Day

As the sun came up on a whole new world, the sky looked to be a fire of reds and oranges. Impossibly fine dust floated up on the slightest wind and left the sky in a constant hazy state, making the orange and red even more prevalent. Over and over again, Clint told himself that it was just regular dust though he knew it wasn’t.

He’d spent the whole of the day before in a panicked daze and looking back, it was hard to remember the details. One second he was standing with his daughter and his wife, Laura called to him. He looked away from his daughter, toward the rest of his family and when his attention returned to Lila, she was gone. Looking around, he had found himself alone with not even a clue as to what had happened.

He didn’t see it happen and so he looked for them. They should have still been there.

He ran around that field yelling their names. He searched the house, the basement and the shed. Every inch of the property was searched and searched again as panic clouded his mind. Even though all the vehicles were still parked, Clint jumped into the truck he called his own and drove, house arrest be damned.

He went down every back road looking for them, yelling their names for hours until his voice gave out. It was well passed noon when he made his way into town and filled his tank with gas. It was in town that he first got the slightest idea what may have happened to his family.

It wasn’t as if he was unaware if the events in New York. But none of his friends and past teammates had called him to assist. It seemed reasonable to expect they had everything under control. They would have called him if they needed his help. They should have called them if they needed him.

He could only assume that people turning into dust had something to do with what had happened the day before. Yet, he couldn’t even wrap his mind around whole people simply turning to dust, simply gone. There was were so many things that he didn’t understand about the universe but still, whole people turning to dust was something that he couldn’t fathom.

He needed to know how it happened. Why it happened. How could his friends, his old teammates fail so spectacularly as to allow whatever had happened to happen? Shops were abandoned, cars were abandoned and what people remained in the already small town clung to each other in small groups in the streets. Others seemed to mill about lost.

Clint walked into the small grocery and looked around. The doors were unlocked, the lights were on but the store was largely empty. He grabbed a bottle of water and sat down on a bench, pulling out his phone and dialing those who apparently lost the one fight that counted more than any of the rest only to get voicemail.

~~~~~<3

With a firm shake of his head, Clint pulled himself out of the memories. It was a new day and all be could do was continue pushing to find answers. Pulling out his cell phone, he began calling again. He didn’t know if the owners of the numbers he was calling were still around or if they had turned to dust as well but he needed someone to answer. He needed to know what happened and how to undo it.

~~~~~<3

Deanna was confused when she woke, feeling like she was being cooked to death under a mountain of blankets. Her body was tired and she wanted nothing more than to sleep longer yet she feared going back to sleep. She had the most terrible nightmare during the night where her children had died. It had felt so real that the pain still ripped through her as she fought back blankets.

Opening her eyes, she was greeted with her children’s room. That wasn’t right. She never slept in the kids room. Hell, she hardly ever let the kids sleep in her bed. They somehow grew four extra limbs each, gain hulk strength and become violent in their sleep.

Looking around the room, a sick realization hit her. It wasn’t a dream though it was very much a nightmare.

As she gathered Frankie’s blanket and Aurora’s doll, her movements felt robotic all the while. She left the room and turned off the light, not looking back. Part of her hoped that she would find the kids in the living room. Maybe if she pretended it hadn’t happened, somehow it would change the facts.

Wrapping the blanket around her shoulders, she made her way to the kitchen and made herself breakfast and a pot of coffee. Whether or not she could eat, she didn’t know but making breakfast was a habit. She quickly realized she had made enough to feed the family.

She wasn’t feeding a family. She’d never be feeding her family again. After all that she had gone through, she no longer had a family. It was just her and a kitchen with too much food. It took everything she had to ignore the plates still sitting on the counter from the day before with their dried out and remains of pancakes while she walked by toward the couch.

From the TV she could hear talking and rustling but there was no one currently standing in front of the camera and the sign was still sitting on the desk. But people were in the studio and she hoped that was a sign that an update would be coming soon.

It surprised her that she found herself able to slowly eat almost half of her breakfast. After the second cup of coffee, she felt something resembling human as she stood in front of the large living room window, looking out. There were some people on the streets and the sun still low on the horizon. A haze filled the sky and she wondered if it was from smoke or ash… or dust.

“It doesn’t feel right to say ‘Good Morning’ but Gold Beach, we’re here just the same.” Martha’s voice called from the TV as she made her way behind the desk, tucking the sign away. Deanna turned from the almost normal view outside the window and made her way toward the couch to listen.

“Information is still highly limited at this time however as always we urge all our viewers to be calm and good citizens.” Sean, the lead morning newscaster made his way into the frame and took a seat next to Martha, who looked like she had yet to sleep.

“What we know as of yet is this: There has been some sort of global mass casualty event, the cause of which is still unknown at this time. As you may or may not be aware, the United States government has declared a state of emergency and all citizens are urged to comply with all official orders. We have been advised that the National Guard is mobilizing and that each home will receive a visit from officials to provide rations and water. You are directed to stay home, stay safe.” Martha finished, running her hands through her hair and looking over to Sean, a much younger and newer face within the station.

“Public transportation systems are down and I recommend filling bathtubs and sinks with water in case the electrical gird goes down.” Sean spoke calmly, each word carefully rehearsed and each breath measured and controlled.

“No, they said we don’t have to-” Martha was shocked when Sean turned toward her, voice raising slightly. His carefully controlled exterior shattered.

“They said.” He snapped. “Have you seen a National Guard helicopter? Have you seen anyone outside of the military bases reporting any type of aid yet? We don’t know how long until they will actually get to us- if we are even a priority! They are telling the whole country the same thing. They are saying that the military is intact and that they hardly lost any men. I don’t fucking buy that.”

“Sean, you’re-”

“Scaring people? They should be scared. Mass amounts of people turned to dust with no warning and for no apparent reason. Where is word form the President? Where is his public address? Hell, it was an adviser that made the announcement and it wasn’t even broadcast correctly. We don’t even know if they are still alive.” Sean was nearly yelling now. His young face was flushed and tears were gathering in his eyes. Deanna could do nothing but watch as she sat on the couch.

“What I do know is approximately half the people I know cannot be reached. What I do know is my sister’s three week old baby turned to dust in her arms just over 24 hours ago. What I do know is that I found her hanging from the staircase this morning. I know that I drove by the burnt out shell of a school bus this morning. I know that people turned to dust and even more people died and everyone is acting like this is fucking okay. It’s not fucking okay. This is the end of the world and I’m not going to spend it waiting for the fucking government to save me. I’m getting the fuck out of here and you should too.” Sean flipped Martha the finger and stormed off the set leaving a stunned silence behind.

“I-” Martha’s voice cracked as she ran her hands through her hair. “I don’t know what to do. We just- we have to keep pressing forward. Taking care of each other.” Matt came into view, sitting where Sean had been and rubbed Martha’s back as she took deep breaths, trying to regain her composure no doubt. In Deanna’s living room on the other side of the city, her coffee cup slipped from her fingers.

“As always, we are committed to bringing you the facts as best we know them.” Matt started after taking a deep breath. His voice wasn’t as steady as it had been the night before and like Martha, he looked as if he had hardly slept. “There have been additional deaths at the hospital directly related to lack of staff and we urge anyone with any type of medical training or background to report to hospitals and inpatient medical facilities. Via internet reports we’ve had visuals of two downed passenger aircraft though it is unknown if there was any survivors. We can only assume there are others and that the cause was related to the events we have witnessed yesterday. I beg that you all embrace and take care of your fellow men and women as Americans and human beings.”

“We can only pray that God holds us in his hands.” Martha added, voice shaking.

“We’ll be back in a few hours with another update.” Matt added as he put up the sign again.

~~~~~<3

Deanna spent the day wrapped in her blanket. Sometimes she cried. At times she screamed and screamed until her voice gave out. She has no idea how she functioned for the rest of the day yet somehow she did. The day came to an end and again she found herself sleeping in her children’s room.

~~~~~<3

The next morning wasn’t any better. Nor was the rest of the week. She made food, ate some and drank coffee. She cried, screamed and sat in front of the TV. It could have gone on for weeks or months until she shriveled up and died.

But it didn’t.

What snapped her out of the state was being plunged into darkness. It was as if a switch flipped in her. Deanna stood, joints aching and stiff from the little movement she had done in the last week and slowly made her way over toward the window. Looking up and down the street, she simply saw darkness. It was a darkness like she had never seen before, a pure darkness unmarred by any distant glow.

Yet the longer she stood there, looking out into the darkness the more her eyes adjusted to it. There was comfort in the darkness. The moon shone brightly, reflecting off of cars and damp sidewalks. Stars filled the sky, more than she had ever seen before. It was calming and in a way forced her to see the world through a different light.

Something in the world around her had changed on a fundamental level. A good number of people all over the world was gone. The Avengers, those who proclaimed themselves to be the defenders of the Earth had battled a great enemy from somewhere she couldn’t even begin to wrap her mind around and they had lost.

~~~~~<3

A week after the event that what remained of the world’s major news outlets dubbed ‘The Decimation’ it was clear that the world was struggling to figure out how to move forward. Listening to the emergency radio did nothing but prove that the world wasn’t going to just right itself any time soon. There were promises from the government that the National Guard would be providing aid but no additional information as to how or when.

They were advised time and time again to sit at home and wait. According to the news casters, some went out and opened shop or tried to distribute aid independently. No one had apparently heard from the President and many other world leaders were missing or confirmed ‘dusted’. Some had a designated next in command that was able to fill the space. Other countries were reportedly in chaos based on reports from within their boarders but in areas where the power had died, access to the internet died with cell phone batteries.

Deanna went out when the National Guard never came and went to the gas station near her home, driving along deserted roads. It was odd and peaceful. Birds chirped in trees though they were far and few between. There was a lack of birds and small creatures. It seemed that whatever being it was that decided what was worth being dusted took out avian populations along with feline.

Pulling into the parking lot, she noticed the shop windows were smashed in and glass sparkled on the pavement. It was almost pretty. Cutting the engine, Deanna stepped outside and that same glass crunched under her feet as she walked into the shop.

The shelves partially were nearly picked clean. Carefully, she gathered what supplies she could find. Every movement felt nearly automated. She hardly thought as she moved. It was better to not think, she found. If she didn’t think than she wouldn’t remember the times she had walked with the kids to this corner store to get ice cream in the summer. As she loaded up her car, the gleam of a metal baseball bat caught her eye, peeking out from behind the counter.

She debated for a moment and almost didn’t take it, then she remembered the broken windows. If people were beginning to start stealing from shops, was she really safe? One unsure step after another, she walked over toward the bat peeking out from behind the counter back inside the store. Glass crunched underfoot and reflected light. The world was silent.

Wrapping her hand around the smooth surface, she finally looked behind the counter and a scream was torn from her throat.

He must have been the shopkeeper at one time, based on his uniform. Blood pooled around the man’s misshapen head. Blood stained the green and yellow shirt a dirty brown and dried. One open eye looked out at her, accusingly. With fingers locked on the bat she jerked back, more a reaction than anything. The bat slipped out of his relaxed hand as she backed, palms scratching on glass on the ground.

She crawled away before managing to get to her feet, bat clutched in her and. Shaking legs did nothing to slow her down as she ran to her car, ripping the door open and slamming it shut before she had even fully settled into the seat. The force of the door hitting her hip would likely leave a bruise. Breaths were coming fast as she fought back panic.

Slamming the key into the ignition, she nearly screamed when the radio came to life with the same emergency deceleration message that had filled the airwaves all day. The car screeched as she rushed out of the parking lot and onto the road as if the man would rise up as a demon to claim her life for having the nerve to steal from him.

Tears gathered in her eyes but only a few escaped as she parked in front of her home. Grabbing the bat, she examined everything around her. How could she trust anyone with what she had just seen? Why? Swallowing bile, she decided it didn’t matter. This wasn’t the world she knew anymore. Nothing made sense anymore.

It took longer to unload the car and bring in the cans of food and water than she wanted or expected. Not once did she let go of the bat, causing the delay. Every Gust of wind caused her to startle. As she worked she could feel eyes on her. The hairs at the back of her neck stood on end though as much as she looked around, she couldn’t spot anything different than any other day this week.

Once inside, she threw the deadbolt on the door. Going through the dark house, she checked every window and the back door. When she had purchased this home, not even a year ago she had loved the large picture windows that allowed her to keep an eye on the children playing outside. Now the large glass panes did nothing but fill her with dread.

Lighting an oil lamp that she had purchased mainly for decoration but was now very much thankful that in was functional, Deanna pulled the case of water into the hall and out of sight before going back for the bags of cans. She turned the volume down low on the emergency radio and set on the case of water. Lastly, she pulled Frankie’s blanket and Aurora’s stuffed fox into the hall while clutching a can opener as if that would somehow protect her from demons.

Turning the wick down as low as she dared, she hoped no one would seek her out. On the radio, the same emergency declaration that had been playing nearly nonstop for the last few days abruptly cut off, plunging her into silence. The silence was oddly comforting, allowing her to hear the crickets outside chirping with the sun sinking behind the horizon by the minute. Part of her hoped that the silence would go on for the rest of the night. A gruff man’s voice filled the air, shattering that blessed silence.

“Good evening Cook County. Rejoice as you are now under rule of the Manson family. I am King Chris Manson and I expect that you will all kneel before me.” There was scuffling in the background before a second voice was heard, yelling in panic and fear both.

“You can’t do this. You can’t declare yourself King. This is America! We are Americans!” Rather than argue with the unknown man, gunfire filled the air.

“I can and I did.” The self proclaimed King Chris Manson calmly spoke. “For those who may be too dumb to figure it out- That man just learned what happens to those who oppose my rule. I expect as I tour my Kingdom that all residence offer a quarter of their supplies as Tax. Refuse and suffer. This isn’t America anymore. America died when it’s leaders were turned to dust. This is the Kingdom of Manson.”

“All hail King Manson!” A few voices cried out before static filled the air and Deanna turned off the radio, sitting in her self imposed silence as she tried to both think and not think. She wanted to cry but it felt like her tears had run dry. Still, the well of sadness was deep.

This was really happening. This was reality. The National Guard wasn’t coming to save her. The government wasn’t stepping in. People were dying still. People were killing each other.

~~~~~~~<3

The brittle sound of glass shattering woke her from her uneasy sleep. Deanna’s back was stiff and sore from sleeping on the floor or perhaps it was from the night prior on the Frankie’s too small bed. The lamp had gone dark at some point during the night, likely having run out of fuel.

Creeping around the corner while gripping the baseball bat, she peeked into the main room. Moonlight glittered off broken glass on the living room floor. For a moment she thought about how hard it would be to clean the glass up so that the kids didn’t find shards in the carpet. Then she remembered that it didn’t matter, she could leave the glass there for the rest of the month and the kids wouldn’t cut themselves on it. The kids won’t cut themselves on anything ever again.

The beam of a flashlight moved over the kitchen and someone was opening cabinets. They hadn’t seen her in the dark. She wasn’t well hidden but the shadows did enough to hide her. She wasn’t sure if she should just let them take what they wanted.

“Do you see Deanna?” A voice called from outside. It sounded like the children’s gym teacher, Mr. Rick.

“No.” The man in the kitchen called back as Mr. Rick walked closer, stepping over the broken window frame into the living room and Deanna realized it was the children’s teacher from the year prior, Mr. Taft. “Aurora said Deanna was always shopping. There’s lots of stuff here.”

“What are you doing?” Deanna stood, bat hanging limply from her hands as she realized she knew these people. “Why did you break the window?”

“We’re gathering supplies.” Mr. Rick said as the two beams of light settled on her, blinding her for a moment.

“That’s my food.” She dumbly observed as Mr. Taft loaded up a bag of canned goods regardless of the fact that she was standing there, watching.

“It’s ours now.” Mr. Rick answered, joining Mr. Taft in the kitchen and loading up everything he could grab. Deanna launched herself at them, dropping the bat and pulling at Mr. Taft’s arm.

“You’re a teacher for god’s sake!” She yelled.

“Was a teacher. There are no teachers anymore. There are no more students, no more schools.” Mr. Taft pushed her and she fell to the ground only for Mr. Rick to kick her, the blow connecting harshly.

Blindly she grabbed at the bat and swung. It took a few tries for the bat to connect the first time. She kept swinging until they backed away. Her chest was heaving and panic was welling inside of her as she swung and swung. Tears fueled by panic filled her eyes. It didn’t register that they had abandoned their spoils and left the way they had come until the bat was hitting nothing but cabinets and floor, the hollow sound filling the still air.

Deanna didn’t sleep that night. Instead, she crawled through her house, trying to accomplish her goals without drawing any attention to her home. Carefully, she pulled toward the front door a pillow and blankets. By dawn she had a pile of stuff that wouldn’t even begin to cover all her needs for the foreseeable future. Yet it would have to do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<3

@usedtobegoodfriend96, @0-0-0-0-0-0-0-7, @theoneanna, @dangertoozmanykids101, @j-u-s-t-4, @missaphrodite23, @bambamwolf87, @nonsensicalobsessions, @tinchentitri, @michelegurl

#clint x reader #clint barton x oc #Clint Barton x Female Reader #clint barton x reader #clint x oc #clint barton fanfiction

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aoibaratraveler · 5 years

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UK Road Trip Week 2

Day 8:

We woke up and quickly packed up our stuff not wanting to spend another second in this airbnb especially since the bf got such a bad kink in his neck. We headed to Bournemouth as soon as we bought lunch and there we relaxed on the beach and ate it. The city centre of Bournemouth was unexpectedly busy but it makes sense since the beach there is so nice. We walked around for a couple of hours and played with the new feature on Pokemon go. After leaving Bournemouth, we took a detour to our next campsite and stopped at Lulworth Cove. This area was gorgeous and relaxing to sit and watch the waves at the top of a cliff but it was also packed and after an hour we decided to pitch up at the Osmington Mills campsite. This was the most beautiful campsite we had been to by far It had amazing views of a valley and rolling hills so it was understandably full of people. We pitched up and then drove into the nearby town of Weymouth for burgers. We enjoyed the beach views after dinner while writing a scathing review of our previous airbnb and then headed back to the campsite to tuck in for the night since we were exhausted.

Day 9:

Today I woke up feeling super excited because it meant that I got to see Kevin, the bf’s grandparent’s dog! I have been really looking forward to it! I got up at about 6:30 after having the most uncomfortable sleep by far (was tossing and turning all night) in the tent, got refreshed, looked in amazement at the gorgeous beach with a mini waterfall and there was hardly anyone there, win-win!! We explored for awhile and let the sounds of the ocean waves relax us. At about 11 we decided to head off to the Isle of Portland after getting the bf’s starbucks, we only had about 4-5 hours to explore and sightsee before getting to the airbnb cottage outside of Yeovil where I would be staying with the bf and his family as they prepare for his cousin’s wedding. We drove to the very top of a hill/cliff at the Isle of Portland and it was just fantastic, the sky was mostly clear with nothing but a few pure white fluffy clouds. There were also olympic rings up there since apparently this was the sight of the 2012 London Summer olympics. There was even an old torch which was cool. We explored the cliff area and found a rocky area that seemed to be the remnants of a Roman fort, it had a mysterious and intriguing atmosphere and felt like a rocky canyon of sorts as we walked through it before deciding to scramble up the rocks. The bf and I agreed that we both love a good scramble and talked about possibly doing a climb in Italy together called a via Ferrata which I’m very excited about. We decided it was time to head to the cottage which would be an hour and a half drive away. The cottage itself was beautiful with many rooms and washrooms and a lovely garden, i don’t know about you though but when family photos are up everywhere in a place you’re staying just staring at you, it can make you feel a but unnerved. When the rest of the bf’s family arrived we ended up having to settle for a room with two single beds because the only other option had a sofa bed which was too uncomfortable. The bf’s grandmother thoroughly disliked the cottage because of all the rules, I was just bummed because I couldn’t wash my clothes since apparently the washing machine was off limits. Oh, I forgot to mention Kevin, yes the moment I saw him I was so happy and couldn’t wait to play with him but he was much too energetic to focus on me and just wanted to run circles around the garden but who could blame him after spending four hours in a car. For lunch, the bf’s grandmother made a very carby, delicious assortment of foods. There was a potato salad, a rice salad, boiled potatoes, breaded chicken, and a trifle for dessert. After lunch, the four of us, the bf, his sister (R), and her husband (S), and I went grocery shopping, The bf and I were complete goofballs and had too much fun just messing about and being silly while getting cereal and milk. When we got back we all just talked for awhile in the kitchen and I thought we’d play games but by 21:30/22:00 i was super tired and the bf, R, S, and the bf’s grandad had all gone to the living room from the kitchen and were looking at Netflix while their grandmother and I stayed in there. i’m not sure why but I didn’t want to join them and I was so tired that I just wanted to be alone so I went upstairs, listened to some ASMR and fell asleep. I woke up about an hour later and noticed that the bf had moved some stuff around the room so I decided to get up and brush my teeth, properly say goodnight to everyone and then return to the land of sleep.

Day 10:

Today started off with a rush of excitement as I woke up early and I thought to myself that I needed to be productive and get all of the little things I wanted to get done like planning my blog and reading before going on our hike to Cheddar Gorge which I thought would earlier on in the morning than it ended up being but well everyone else seemed to be taking their time which I mean is understandable but I was just very keen to go and we didn’t end up leaving until 11. When we got there it was packed full of people which made me remember that it was a Sunday so of course it was busy. I had gone in S’s car, R’s husband, so I could sit with Kevin the dog but we got there too fast so we had lost sight of the bf and R and spent a good half hour trying to find them via phone and text but with poor signal all while defending a parking spot for the bf in a layby parking area that we found. I say defending because people were being very aggressive and trying to take it and I know it’s a faux paus to hold a spot but where else was he supposed to park in this madness. We eventually started the walk at 13:00 after finding them and boy was the beginning steep! But what a great butt workout! It was Kevin’s first time in this kind of situation so he refused to have anyone walking in front of him from our group otherwise he’d give out a very nervous sounding, high pitched sort of bark. He needed to lead the pack. Once at the top, the views were spectacular and the winds refreshing. The walk was supposed to take 1hour and 30 mins but we took our time and the 4 mile walk took about 2 hours and 30 mins. We hurried to the cheese shops before they were to close and bought a nice big chunk of extra mature cheddar cheese as a souvenir before heading back. Once we got back, i was delighted to see that the sleeping mats I ordered had arrived. I opened one up to test it out and then the 4 of us, the bf, R, S, and I sat around the table to play card games until dinner and afterwards until the evening.

Day 11:

Today I woke up knowing that it would be an uneventful day because the bf and his family were going to his cousin’s wedding. It was an easy going morning with them leaving at about 12:30. I spent the rest of the day with Kevin and got some things done from my to do list including uploading the first week of my blog! I read my book, had dinner and then took Kevin out for a nice long walk, so just a chill solo day.

Day 12:

Barely slept and woke up feeling exhausted at 6 in the morning because the bf came back drunk from the wedding at midnight yesterday and this was the most drunk I had ever seen him. He inevitably spent the night vomiting so I did what I could to help him and then spent the rest of the morning packing up both of our things while he rested but then I also got my period and felt just as crummy as he did because I was always have the most painful cramps. We had breakfast with R and S after leaving the cottage and then the rest of the day was a struggle for us both until we got to our campsite.

Day 13:

We both woke up freezing today, the weather seems to have turned it’s back on us. Our trip started off very warm, day or night, but the rain has been following us since we left the cottage which makes the nights cold and the days hot and humid. Today the weather wasn’t too good for sightseeing so since we had to anyway, we stopped in a Starbucks to plan the next portion of our trip. We unfortunately had to take the whole of Ireland out of our plan because the costs of this trip are starting to add up and truth be told, a month and 3 weeks isn’t enough time for us to do all that we want to do in England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, and The Republic of Ireland and we were foolish to think it would be enough time. I’d say more like 2 and a half months to 3 months would be enough time to really see everything and take our time but we just don’t have that or the savings to be able to do so. So we’ll explore England, Wales, and Scotland this time and dedicate an entire trip for Northern/Republic of Ireland later on...once we had wrapped up our planning, we headed to the lush and filled with rolling hills Dartmoor National Park to camp for the night.

Day 14:

Woke up freezing again today at 4 am because I went to sleep without extra layers, very foolish mistake. Tried to do what I could to warm up, thought about staying awake for a bit, but then went to the car to try and and warm up to no avail. In the end, I put on some extra socks and forced myself back to sleep. Woke up two hours later to the morning chorus of “baaa” and “neigh”. To accompany this lovely tune was the sweltering heat from the sun that the tent has captured which was a signal to the bf and me that it was time to pack up and leave. From there we headed to Plymouth to exchange two camping gas canisters bought the day before. While we were there we perused the nearby Waterstones and then bought a delicious steak pasty to share before heading to St. Austell. Once we arrived, we bought flowers for Vanessa’s family and parked out on the road of her house and was greeted by Vanessa’s mother. We put our stuff in the room that we would be staying in and then walked down to Porthpean beach. The bf had been wanting to go to the beach for the longest time and was glad to finally dip his head in the water. On the walk to the beach, we bumped into Vanessa’s twin sister. I had never met her before, and even though I had seen photos before and was able to tell the difference then, I was surprised by how truly identical they are in person. At the beach, the bf played around in the water for a bit and we then skipped stones for a while before heading back. Vanessa’s mother had cooked a vegan lasagne for us all to have for dinner and we chatted with her and Vanessa’s twin until Vanessa got back from work. We then gathered some snacks, took the hood off their jeep wrangler and went to Caerhays beach for a late night drive in showing of Grease. It was the bf’s first time seeing the film and he found it ridiculous.

#travel #road trip #ukroadtrip #ukroadtrip2019 #roadtripeurope #blog post #firsttimeblogging #travel blog #camping #ukexploring #englishnature #englishcoast #southern england #cornwall #cornishcoast #moodyweather #cramps

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idkhyuck · 6 years

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HERE WITHOUT YOU- A TOM HOLLAND ONESHOT

Not to be confused with my “MEETING TOM HOLLAND” Series. i heard Here Without You- 3 Doors Down and listened to it for like 3 nights before falling asleep and it hit all the right feels. still getting a feel for writing for Tom so feed back is appreciated. also for the full effect listening to here without you by 3 doors down helps.

~summary~ Tom is SUPER busy and misses you like crazy. this one is a little more angsty but mostly just !sadTom !sadreader but still vv cute.

i woke up to the grey New York sky.another rainy fall day, normally you wouldn’t mind. You dreaded the commute to work. you dreaded having to come home to an empty apartment yet again. you missed being held, you swore you forgot what holding Tom felt like. the pillow you hugged at night not doing you any good anymore. it’s been at least four months since you last saw Tom. from promoting his latest whenever he could, to him constantly back and forth between Vancouver and LA working on his new project it felt like forever. you would facetime when you could. He’d made many a promise to fly home for the day only to have his plans dashed. you’d made plans to go out and see him only to have his schedule change last minute. between the two of you constantly working you’d think you were never meant to see each other again. You checked your phone and saw a few texts from tom. He was telling me all he did on set that night. it was a night shoot so he wasn’t able to call me before work. he was so sorry.

“only a few weeks darling.” he sent as a voice message. hearing his voice sent a pang of loneliness through me. I played it again and kept it. I got out of bed, the floor cold against my feet, the wind whistling through the busy streets below me. I went to the bathroom and went through my usual business. i looked at toms side of the bathroom clean and untouched for the past few months and sighed. ugh, i hate myself for feeling like this. he’s not dead, that thought only hurting my heart even more. He’ll be back, i thought to myself trying perk myself up. A few more weeks. i sighed as thoughts of something coming up, preventing him from actually coming back raced through my mind. i ended up making myself sad again. I was allowed to be sad, my feelings were valid. it’s been four months. i thought trying to convince myself a i walked into the walk in closet we shared. Four months... wow. i thought back to the last night Tom and i spent together. We were at the premiere for A spider-man movie. We shared many a kiss in that theater that night and that night at the hotel we said our goodbyes with hopes of seeing each other sooner than later. now here we are far past later. i often wondered if he felt the same way i did. was he as lonely as me, did he miss me as much as i missed him. i had no idea how insecure i really could be if left alone to my own devices for too long. a text or phone call always coming in at the right time to save me from myself. i picked a long sleeve t-shirt and one of tom’s spider-man flannels he “borrowed” from set for me.

you worked at a record store in Brooklyn, you practically owned it with all the work you did for them. Every day off you got you had to fight for and usually ended up spending them alone and upset at ruined plans. The last four months have been less than ideal and it was all taking a toll on you. you used to love working at the record shop and now it’s just another thing to pass the day. you never knew you were capable of feeling this low because of love. you’ve dealt with depressive episodes before all with completely valid reasons. you hated admitting to yourself that you felt this way because of how dependent you’d become on another person. yet that thought alone made you so happy, and hopeful. you loved tom with all your heart after struggling to let him in and let it happen. you felt a full range of emotions with him, you didn’t have to act or hide or put a facade. as much as that could scare you it was ultimately more comforting in the end.

I looked in the mirror one last time as i brushed through my hair deciding on a messy bun because this weather was doing nothing for my hair. i put on a little make up feeling less than inspired to look good today. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a banana from the bowl sitting on the counter. i’d have to go grocery shopping later tonight or tomorrow. I grabbed my raincoat and umbrella and my work bag and made my way down the hall of our apartment complex. i approached the door dreading stepping out into this rain. i took a deep breath and swung open the door and opened my umbrella. The sound of the rain hitting the top of my umbrella kind of soothing. i had one headphone with some sad music playing. The one perk i love working at the record store was getting to borrow records from what we had in stock. i loved asking customers for their recommendations on artists they bought that i’d never heard of. it was always so much fun discovering new music, i’d send it to tom. I can’t wait til he gets home, we’d dance around the house listening to music like we used to. He was always a great customer coming in once a week to buy some new music for us at home. The manager loved when he came into store, it was great publicity. Once at work i emptied my bag back onto the shelves and went to my spot behind til. i had to pick our rotation for the day. i picked one of the albums i was listening to that weekend, a new release from the week and some of our customer favourites. I truly loved working at this store. We had polls online and customers would vote on their favourites run by me. i’d tally the votes at the end of the week. i hoped one day i’d be able to own a record shop like this one day. The slow tracks came to life. a perfect start to my morning. i checked my phone, i sent a good morning message with a selfie to tom knowing he’d check it when he could. i could only imagine how tired he must be. I loved how much of himself he truly put into his work. He worked so hard and he deserves all the good opportunities that come his way. i will stand by his side as long as he’ll have me as his number one supporter.

Tom’s POV

I woke up to my alarm screaming at me. i sighed. it was all a dream once again. I missed Y/N so much it hurt to wake up in bed alone. I picked up my phone and shut off the alarm. I had a few hours before i had to be on set.

“Good morning my love.” was what i saw, i opened my phone to see her beautiful face, i see the hurt in her eyes, the fake smile not working on me these past few weeks. i know she’s sad and lonely, it hurts me to know that i’m the reason for that. she’s at work, i wish i could call her.

“morning love.” i send back. “miss you.”

“miss you too.” she send back followed quickly by “What are you up to today?”

“call time in 2 and half hours. probably go out for breakfast.” i lied, i’d be in this hotel room dreading going out. Fans figured out the cast was staying here. i was on high security to and from set. not allowed to go out much.

“That’s good!” she sent back “call me tonight?” she asked

“yes, for sure.” i replied

“i have customers.” she sent with an eyeroll emoji indicating she had to go. I turned on the clock radio needing something to drown out the too silent hotel room. i flipped through the room service menu. the words hit me like a knife in my chest.

A hundred days have made me older since the last time that i saw your pretty face A thousand lies have made me colder And I don't think I can look at this the same. All the miles that separate Disappear now when I'm dreamin' of your face.I'm here without you baby But you're still on my lonely mind. I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time.

I dream about Y/N all the time, It’s been so long since i felt her kiss, he always cold hands, her arms wrap around me from behind when she wanted my attention. All her little quirks, our dancing around the house, The way she managed to make me feel real despite whatever was going on around us. i can’t wait to go home and not have someone watching me like a hawk, to feel my bed, my home. have someone who knows the real me. i love my job, but it’s exhausting to put on a happy face when your so tired. i’d done nothing but work for the past four months. promo tours, shoots, travelling. i haven’t even been to the UK at all this year. I sighed as i listened to the song some more. i ordered my breakfast and found myself listening to the song again and again. i did some googling and sent a text to y/n

“track 6″ and it was picture of the album. “listen to it at home off to set. love you will call tonight”

Y/N’s POV.

i was almost done my shift, I had a good morning, a few tourists had come in and loved the vibe of the store and even tipped me. i was almost completely distracted from my bad mood. my phone buzzed a text from tom. He sent me this song to listen to at home. i searched around the store knowing we had this in stock. I found it and signed it out for myself. My replacement came in as if on cue. i was now excited to head home and listen to the record. i knew of this band but never actually listened to them. i clocked out and made the rainy commute home. i was able to enjoy the sounds of the rain on my umbrella once again soothing me. i picked up a sandwich from the diner down the road from our apartment and made my way home. once inside i resisted the urge to play the song right away but instead opted to change into something comfy enough to go out grocery shopping later tonight. i cracked the window in the living room to let the soothing rain sounds in. i grabbed my late lunch and set it down on the coffee table, i put the record on the turn table and grabbed the remote. i hadn’t realized how cold i really was until i was comfy under the throw blanket tom bought my for christmas this passed year. it was now spring. the last real date i had with tom was eating at a rooftop restaurant in Manhattan just before new years after we came back from our christmas travels.

I pressed play on the remote and heart the sad guitar intro, oh lord. The words sounding pained, i could hear tom saying this and feeling the same way. By time the chorus hit, tears were streaming down my face, i couldn’t hold it in anymore. i let a soft cry out as the song played. i missed him so fucking much and i hated myself for it. He didn’t need to feel bad about leaving me behind. if he was as hurt as me, he didn’t need that added stress. the song ended, i pressed the button to play it again. I sat there listening to it. Tom was so sweet, he knew the way to my heart was through song. I hated that he felt sad about missing me. He didn’t deserve to be sad. Ugh i loved him so much. i wanted nothing more than to hold him. for him to hold me. tell each other we’d be okay. why does love have to hurt so much. i thought to myself as i played it again. i took a few deep breaths and composed myself. I picked up the phone and typed out a message to tom

“hello my love. how are you feeling? i hope works treating you good. i miss you so fucking much, but you knew that.” i sent it with a picture of the record player in the background. the song now beginning it’s fourth rotation. i listened to it once last time before spinning the rest of the album. i ate my sandwich, still feeling down but feeling better after my cry. despite the song being heart wrenching it actually brightened my spirits. i thought of the next two weeks without tom and thought it would be lonely i could only await what our reunion had in store for us. our love was special, I met tom after he rose to fame but we connected on such a real level it scared me at first. i knew he was the one for me from the start and he continued to prove that to me when i didn’t believe it.

i did a load of laundry, made a shopping list and quickly went out to the grocery store. i saw couples holding hands, men buying flowers, stealing kisses in the aisles as they pushed their cart. i knew tom would be calling me soon so i rushed home. “on my way back to the hotel. will call soon.” was a text i got in the uber sending a small jolt through me. once home i quickly put the groceries that would spoil away, my phone on the counter, ever present in my mind like a ticking time bomb only i couldn’t wait for it to go off. i was in the freezer organizing the chicken i bought when the phone rang scaring ten years off my life. tom’s face shone across the screen. my heart racing as i struggled to answer it in my excitment.

“Hello?” i said

“Hello love.” He said his voice sounding tired

“Tom.” i said sighing “hi!”

“you okay?” He asked

“yes.” i said “just running about the house putting away groceries.”

“oh i can cal-”

“NO!” i interrupted him “i was just finished.” i said making my way to the couch

“you sure your okay?” He asked

“no.” i said hoping i wouldn’t end up crying. “i actually hate you for sending me that song.” i laughed

“aww darling.” he said laughing “ did i make you cry?” he asked

“yeah.” i said as my throat got thick and tears welled up in my eyes.

“aww my love.” he said sounding so so sad and that just made me cry even more. “i didn’t mean to upset you.” he said sounding sorry

“no.” i said trying to sound normal “it didn’t upset me.” i said my voice uneven” it just made me realize how lucky i am.” i said really crying now. “i- i was doubting myself again” i admitted “ a-and i wasn’t sure how much longer i could put up with feeling like that and it was scaring me and i just love you so much and i know you do too.” i said trying not to sound like i was outright sobbing.

“Awww darling. i hate putting you through this.” he said sounding sad

“no. i hate putting you through this.” i said stopping him. “the last thing you need on your workload is worrying about me.” i said

“y/n” he said sternly “worrying about you will always be my number one priority. you’re unfortunately stuck with me and all that comes with me.” he said “the only time i’ll ever stop loving you is if you ever tell me to stop.” He said “and i hope that i never drive you to that.” he said sound defeated

“tom.” you said “don’t talk like that.” i said through my stream of tears. “i’m afraid i’ll love you for the rest of my life.” i admitted

“good.” he said “hold on.” he said then suddenly my phone was ringing with tom wanting to facetime. i answered and saw his face, his beautiful eyes tried, his lips looking as kissable as ever. his curls a mess all over his head like he’d been running his hands through them. “you look absolutely stunning.” he said i looked in my reflection i had swollen eyes and a red nose, my cheeks were damp from the tears. i couldn’t help but laugh at his comment “i mean it. two more weeks and i’ll be home to kiss those beautiful lips of yours.” he said “play the song.” he said i reached for the remote on the table and pressed play, it came on. we sat there staring at each other listening to it. “oh the dreams i’ve had of you darling.” he said. a hint of lust in his voice

“we’re not leaving this house for a week.” i said to him.

“can’t wait.” he said smirking at me. just like that, i felt okay again.i knew tom loved me, i knew he would always love me. “i’ve been shopping.” he says

“really now?” i ask

“yes, stopped off on rodeo drive one afternoon.” he said “and all i could think of was what you would like, what you would want.”

“Tom...” i scolded

“don’t worry i didn’t go crazy.” he said “i got stuff for my mom too.” he said “ harry wanted a new watch.”

“tom.” i said disapprovingly

“I have nothing better to do out here!” he said “and i miss everyone so much.”

“i’ll book us a flight later tonight.” i said

“thank you.” he said. i yawned i didn’t mean to i knew he would pick up on it. “go to bed babe.” he said

“i want to talk to you.” i said sounding sad already

“i’ll get ready for bed with you.” he said.

“fine.” i agreed. i turned off the music. “we have some groceries to put away.” i sighed as i put him on the counter behind the sink so he could see the whole kitchen.

“place looks nice and clean.” he said

“yeah, theres’ no one here to mess it up.” i said laughing as i put some boxes in the cupboard. i turned to see him make a pouy face. “kidding” i said blowing him a kiss. two more weeks and i’d be standing at the stove with tom hopefully wrapped around me. i turned to put stuff in the pantry and was bent over looking for something and i heard tom

“missed that ass.” i stood up

“i’m sure you did.” i said smirking at him through the phone. i placed the last few things

“Where to next?” he asked

“brush my teeth and change.” i said

“oooh.” he said i just rolled my eyes at him as i walked into the bedroom and through the bathroom. i grabbed my tooth brush and started

“Brush brush brush your teeth.” tom sang through the phone nearly causing me to choke on my toothpaste.i heard him giggle as i was rinsing my mouth. i gave him the finger. and took my hair down to brush it. a few more flirty remarks from tom as i was changing and i was in bed. i placed tom on his pillow and looked at him.

“good night Y/N.” he said i’ll stay right here.” he said as i was drifting off to sleep.

4 days until tom came home,we talked every day leading up to today. He was busy busting out the few last minute days of shooting and finishing up what he needed to get done. He was so happy he was almost done. I was working hard to get things ready for tom over here. I washed the sheets, i made sure to go out and buy all over our favourite things to cook together, i had a nice coming home gift for him. a hoodie, A new pair of sweats , a nice baseball cap. everything comfy he’d need for you guys trip to the UK in a week and a half. i also had a case of his favourite beer waiting. you asked his dad to send it to you. i was all ready for him so now the the last two days have been dragging on like crazy and there was four more to go. i walked into the shop my late afternoon shift starting soon. i saw my manager sitting at the til

“did he not show up again?” i asked referring to our one coworker who was always dipping on shifts last minute. but then i saw him coming out of the back room with a box of records.

“i just needed to grab a few things.” my manager said as i approached the counter “can you get me the receipt book in the back real quick i don’t want to lose my train of thought” he said eyeing me a small smile on his face.

“k” i thought. he was being so weird, maybe we finally had enough for that expansion he’s been talking about for years. i thought to myself as i walked towards his office. i saw a hooded figure standning in the room. fear rose in my chest as i gasped. the figure turned the first thing i saw was the chestnut curls and my heart nearly stopped. his face came into view his eyes lighting up at the sight of me. i ran towards him, tears sneaking up on me. i crashed into his body, his arms catching me. my heart was racing, my eyes were blurred with tears.

“oh. tom.” was all i was able to choke out. it felt absolutely amazing to feel his arms around me, i felt safe, content, ecstatic.

“happy to see me love?” he asked holding me out at arms lenght “aww don’t cry.” he said his voice soft as he wiped away the tears. “i love you.” he said pulling my back into him, taking a deep breath.

“so, you can have the rest of the week off as well as next week.” my manager said in the door way clearing his throat.

“are you sure?” i asked wiping the tears from my face, pulling my shirt down. trying to look presentable again.

“yes, you deserve it.” he said “i’ll be fine here.” he said

“don’t get too used to life without me.” i teased as i walked over and gave shook his hand.

“wouldn’t dream of it.” he said looking around his office i’d spent one afternoon organizing. “get out of here.” he said “there’s a car in the back.” i smiled at him in thanks and made my way out to the ally with tom. sure enough there was a car waiting at the end of the block. i stopped and pushed tom against the wall. i looked at his lips and he looked at mine, his eyes darting up as he pulled my face towards him. our lips met all the feelings of loneliness and hurt and sadness gone now fueled by the fire in my heart and soul. recharged as we kissed in the alley. his hands wrapped around me pulling me close to him. the kiss felt like it went on forever yet i missed him the moment i pulled away.

“let’s go home.” i said grabbing his hand and leading him towards the car.

#tom holland #tom holland one shot #tom holland fic #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #i needed to write a happy ending #i nearly made myself cry how many god damn times

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