#What is Job Analysis
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The Essentials of Job Analysis: A Comprehensive Overview
Job analysis is a critical process in human resource management that involves systematically studying a job to determine its duties, responsibilities, necessary skills, and the environment in which it is performed. This analysis provides essential insights that help organizations optimize their workforce, improve recruitment strategies, and enhance employee satisfaction. In this article, we will explore the significance of job analysis, various methods used to conduct it, and the benefits it offers to both employees and organizations.
The Importance of Job Analysis
Clarifying Roles and Responsibilities Job analysis plays a vital role in clearly defining the expectations and responsibilities associated with a particular position. By outlining what a job entails, organizations help employees understand their roles better. This clarity reduces confusion and ensures that everyone is aligned on expectations, leading to improved job performance and satisfaction.
Enhancing Recruitment and Selection A well-executed job analysis provides the foundation for creating accurate job descriptions and specifications. These documents are crucial for attracting qualified candidates during the recruitment process. By identifying the essential skills and qualifications required for a job, organizations can tailor their recruitment strategies to find the best fit for each role.
Supporting Performance Management Job analysis contributes to effective performance management by establishing clear performance criteria. When performance appraisals are based on well-defined job responsibilities, it becomes easier to assess employee contributions objectively. This structured approach allows for more targeted feedback and development discussions, promoting continuous improvement.
Informing Training and Development Understanding the specific skills and competencies required for each job enables organizations to design targeted training programs. By identifying gaps in knowledge or skills, employers can provide employees with the resources they need to grow and excel in their roles. This targeted development enhances employee capabilities and, in turn, boosts overall organizational performance.
Establishing Compensation Structures Job analysis is crucial for developing fair and equitable compensation systems. By evaluating the responsibilities and requirements of each position, organizations can ensure that salaries are aligned with job complexity and market standards. This transparency in compensation can help attract and retain top talent while reducing the risk of internal inequities.
Methods of Job Analysis
Organizations can employ various methods to conduct job analysis, each with its own advantages:
Interviews One-on-one or group interviews with employees and supervisors can provide rich qualitative data about job responsibilities and functions. This method allows for in-depth discussions that can uncover nuances in job duties that may not be captured through other methods.
Questionnaires and Surveys Standardized questionnaires can be an efficient way to gather information from a larger group of employees. These surveys often include a mix of closed and open-ended questions, enabling both quantitative and qualitative analysis of job tasks and skills.
Observation Directly observing employees as they perform their tasks offers firsthand insights into job functions and workflows. This method can be particularly effective for jobs involving specific physical tasks or interactions, providing a clear view of the work environment.
Job Diaries Asking employees to maintain a log of their daily activities can yield detailed information about job responsibilities, time management, and the skills utilized throughout the day. This method captures a more accurate representation of the job over time.
Focus Groups Conducting focus groups with employees allows for collaborative discussions about job roles. This approach encourages dialogue and can help identify common challenges and insights that may not emerge from individual interviews.
Benefits of Job Analysis
The advantages of conducting a thorough job analysis extend to both employees and organizations:
Increased Job Satisfaction When employees have a clear understanding of their roles and responsibilities, they tend to experience higher job satisfaction. Knowing what is expected fosters a sense of purpose and achievement.
Informed Decision-Making Accurate job analysis provides data-driven insights that support various HR decisions, from hiring to promotions and performance evaluations. Organizations can make better choices based on a thorough understanding of job requirements.
Enhanced Efficiency Clearly defined roles help reduce redundancy and improve team efficiency. When everyone understands their responsibilities, teams can collaborate more effectively, leading to increased productivity.
Effective Succession Planning Job analysis aids in identifying the skills and competencies needed for future leadership roles. This foresight allows organizations to develop talent internally, ensuring a pipeline of qualified candidates for critical positions.
Compliance and Risk Management A well-documented job analysis process can help organizations adhere to labor laws and regulations. By ensuring that job descriptions accurately reflect duties and qualifications, companies can mitigate legal risks associated with employment practices.
Conclusion
Job analysis is a foundational element of effective human resource management that influences various organizational functions. By systematically identifying job responsibilities and required competencies, organizations can enhance recruitment, performance management, training, and compensation strategies. As the workplace continues to evolve, maintaining a robust job analysis process is essential for ensuring that organizations are well-equipped to meet the changing demands of the workforce while maximizing employee engagement and productivity. Through thorough job analysis, organizations can create a work environment that fosters growth, clarity, and satisfaction for all employees.
#Job Analysis#What is Job Analysis#Job Analysis Meaning#Job Analysis Definition#What is Job Analysis in HRM#Job Analysis Process#Job Analysis Methods#Job Analysis in human resource management#how to conduct a job analysis#steps in job analysis#job analysis sample#Job Analysis Example#purpose of job analysis#objectives of job analysis#benefits of job analysis#importance of job analysis
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I think one of the biggest tragedies of Laios & Falin and their relationship is how much his actions impact her life. But like. Specifically how much they WOULDN’T impact her life as much if they weren’t both stuck in such a shitty abusive situation.
This part of the Falin-tries-makeup daydream hour comic is what got me thinking about it again because truly it just... it seems like such a like an offhand comment that I'm sure Laios didn't mean to be cruel or anything. That's just like. A little kid not thinking about what they are saying. ESPECIALLY when the kid in question is Laios.
But man they depended on each other SO much as kids. Too much. It really feels like they didn't have any other source of positive reinforcement, or anyone else to share themselves with. So of course an offhand comment like that has a huge impact on Falin.
Or this little bit from one of the flashbacks:
This tears me apart. Do you think it tears him apart to think about? I think it does. I think Laios holds every small failure to care for Falin against himself.
And then there's the Bigger stuff. The way that him coping with his own trauma ended up impacting her.
Like his interest in monsters. Like him going to find a ghost, and accidentally revealing Falin's magic to the whole village in the process.
Like him needing to leave. And leaving her behind.
He shaped her life so much, and he carries so much guilt for it. And again, there should have been other people there to help. The same things that made Laios need to leave home are the things that made his leaving so hard on Falin. She ate alone after that. She shouldn't have had to eat alone just because Laios wasn't there.
She was 9 when he left for school, and he was 11.
Nine. And Laios feels like he failed her because he didn't stand by her through this better. As an eleven year old.
Both of these kids deserved so much better from the world.
#dunmeshi analysis#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#laios touden#dungeon meshi spoilers#AND this isn't even getting into her leaving the academy & how much it seems like that was directly tied to how poorly he was doing#there's a comic in the adventurer's bible where marcille is like 'yeah she had a job lined up and everything'#and like. do you think he feels bad for that too#like he wrecked her life by leaving#and wrecked her life by showing up#what do you even do at that point. if you feel like a failed protector when you are away & and a burden when you return#unable to make yourself accept. unable to make yourself resist#Laios strongest moment is when he lets himself accept that. the contradiction of his life & his relationship with Falin#that he has to kill her to save her#as a small note this came out a little more focused on Laios' POV with this stuff but Falin's experience of it is v important to me too#didn't mean to sideline her but her feelings about stuff are more speculative and probably need a post of their own
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@ninadove YOU.
Thank you for making me appreciate the tragic nature of slithering-out-of-grasp design of Aspik. I could not resist :(( I BLAME YOU FOR EVERYTHING <3
rest of you read It brings the world back into tune
Bonus: A familiar voice
#my art#my post#lukadrien#aspik#cat!luka#berlioz#adrien agreste#luka couffaine#it brings the world back into tune#snake!felix#ladybug#felix graham de vanily#okay I had to draw two new costumes for this and Berlioz's is kinda almost too casual but I feel like it fits??? well i like it#however with Felix I knew I could go silly and extra :D#if I may put my own headcanons here. I've had thoughts about snake Felix while drawing#You know how Aspik's problem was caring too much and trying to rescue people every time and suffering when he couldn't#how Viperion is attentive and patient and knows when to step aside to watch and make conclusions and then guide his teammates#patience and analysis applies to Felix too#but. I thought about taking risksssss during loops#I thought about fights where Felix pushes his teammates under fire on purpose to see what happens#loops when everyone in team is convinced he betrayed them#loops when he isn't bothered too much about harming people#(after all do people really care about harming those like him?)#but all that allows him to quickly find a solution#I feel like Ladybug would surely dislike him. this is certainly pre-s5 Felix to me. spitting poison#but he does his job perfectly and Ladybug doesn't want to admit that he's... probably a better fit than Aspik#while Luka tries to deal with the dissonance#It's Aspik's voice but different song. it's Aspik's eyes but different color. It's Aspik's lips but different smile#this is still about lukadrien angst. but i got very distracted with the cobra boy#what if he took this opportunity to learn everyone's identities on purpose
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zoro unlocking conquerors/supreme king haki while having a flashback about luffy, explaining him as the reason he did so, was insane narratively.
zoro’s devotion is as unquestioned as humans’ need for oxygen, his loyalty is as sure as the need for ground beneath our feet. but to place luffy at the center of even his willpower and ambition, that’s something.
supreme king haki is an unteachable, one in a million power that’s tied with having ‘kingly’ qualities. but zoro doesn’t want to be a leader, he relishes in following. he states, with a picture of luffy in his mind, luffy commenting that he needs no less than the world’s greatest swordsman, that he made a promise. his promise to kuina and luffy is at foundation of his drive.
zoro’s supreme king haki does not stem from the ambition of a king, it comes from wanting to be his king’s very best soldier. he wants to be the greatest, and he wants to be no less than that for luffy. a king, sure, but in the way that a king would answer to a god.
when asked “so you intend to be a king, then?” zoro’s initial instinct was simple, “what?” because that had never even crossed his mind. but he agrees shortly after, with the image of luffy in his mind, “that’s right.” and he became the king of hell, serving a god of the sun.
zoro doesn’t have ambition to conquer, not in the same way luffy does, but he wants to conquer whatever stands in luffy’s way. his ‘kingly’ attributes are accelerated by devotion, like a king would devote his life to his country, his everything. while becoming the world’s greatest swordsman is a convoluted example of a king, sitting atop a throne of symbolic power, i think it’s more accurate to call what zoro unlocked ‘supreme soldier’ haki. ‘conquerors’ haki in the way a marshal would lead an army for his king, and not the king himself. conquering the battlefield as a victory for not only himself, his ambition interconnected with others (those he loves).
i don’t mean to diminish zoro’s ambition, to be the world’s greatest swordsman is a king in itself and that should be recognised. but nothing can detract from the fact that as he unlocked this power, the power of ultimate will, his mind was full of luffy and his smiling face. luffy has always and will always be at the base of zoro’s goal, since the day he met him. becoming the world’s greatest swordsman was no longer solely tied to kuina but now equally his captain, who could have no less than the world’s greatest swordsman.
and what an interesting development we saw happen in front of us. comparatively, the reason for every strawhat’s dream is born from their past, but we witnessed the reason behind zoro’s dream evolve in present time. he no longer strives for kuina alone. he will be a king, because it is what luffy needs as well. he will be the world’s greatest swordsman because he’s got a promise to keep to his captain and his best friend.
a one in a million power, unlocked as a result of a promise. zoro’s devotion is indescribable, his loyalty and his love is quite literally one in a million. if not even rarer as we have never seen an instance of supreme king be activated for someone else. i cannot articulate the beauty of it

#one piece#roronoa zoro#monkey d. luffy#zolu#monkey d luffy#luzo#one piece analysis#one piece meta#doesn’t have to be zolu!#platonic or romantic :D#think i did a bad job of explaining i’m sorry#sending what i’m trying to say via brainwaves
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Eddie's hair starting glued to his head and slowly being freed from the gel little by little as he stands up for Chris and to his parents is so beautiful to see



#what will it look like for bu- gun shots#eddie diaz#original txt.#(this isnt really an analysis- thats anna's job i just liked watching it)
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posting this little thing, while I’m neck-deep in iwtv wips…
#my art#my doodles#discworld#city watch#samuel vimes#sam vimes#havelock vetinari#fun fact! I had literally NO idea what Vetinati’s terrier’s actual breed was when sitting down to draw this sketch#and based on VIBES PURELY I went “hmmmm wouldn’t it be fucking precious if he had a wire fox terrier? and it would fit so well too”#and because it was blackout time and I was too lazy to go borrow some internet and actually check#I fully finished the picture in blissful ignorance#then electricity was back internet was back perfect time to check (not that I was gonna change anything at that point…)#and GUESS FUCKING WHAT!??! mr. google says it IS a wire fox terrier (the first one at least? I’m not that far ahead)#GOOD JOB ME. impeccable character analysis if I do say so myself
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[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]
Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?
[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*
–
Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.
Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!
Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.
* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.
#Pactw#QSMP#Pac#March 18 2024#As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators#I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore#I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know#like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on#And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation#but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk.#I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about#esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources#and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive''#but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this''#''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?''#And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know#idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info#Happy to hear other folks' perspective#I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those#but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric#which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs#but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying#Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript#that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing#and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate#idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags#But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter#Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn
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Okay so I've written a little something. It was supposed to be a character analysis about how John's behaviour towards Bob speaks about John's struggles with being the perfect american man, but I've got carried off, so this post is more about how John's behaviour can be interpreted as John being obliviously drawn to Bob, and how I imagine him slowly developing feelings for Bob. It's under the cut if you're interested;)
So John's default reaction, when he feels anything too strong for him to rationalise, is aggression. Not just anger, but being a dick to the person he feels targeted by (especially when it's unmotivated). And that, having been in the military for many years, he conceptualises relationships between men (except for the one he had with Lemar, because their bond was of course deeper than any one he ever had with another guy) as being based on submission and dominance. Who gives and who follows orders, who gives and who takes the punishments.
That being said, let's talk about his on-screen interactions with Bob. Literally a second after he met him, John has been outright aggressive to Bob. Poking him constantly, being rude without any cause, besides Bob being himself, so rightfully confused about the whole situation and nervous about three mercs pointing their guns at him. It's clear he attacked Bob because he was something John couldn't stand, something John finds unacceptable in a man, I might add. Wearing his emotions without hiding them, being anxious instead of coldly focused, like most of the men John has been around in his life. It instantly bothered him a great deal, because John doesn't understand that. And of course, John put himself in a place of superiority to Bob, because that's how it works between men, and Bob would never be above him in that sense. That's what made him push Bob against the wall when Bob insulted him. He was offended, of course. But he also couldn't accept Bob stepping up to him, because that's not a role for weak men, so he wanted to put him back in his place.
It's obvious what I'm going for here: John felt threatened by a man being so different from the standard he has learned a man must be. A proper man, strong, unemotional, cold. He didn't like being faced with the embodiment of what he has learned being "not man enough" means. Not when all of his life, John has strived to be that man. There can't be another way of doing it, can it?
But John was also curious about Bob. About what he was and why he was in the vault, of course, but I'd like to imagine that his curiosity extends beyond that. Maybe, especially after they all move into the Watchtower and start to know each other more, he wonders what it's like in Bob's head, what it was like growing up without hiding the most difficult parts of him. His mental illness, of course. But also his sensibility, his gentleness.
Are we also on board with Bob being gay and knowing that from a very young age? With that being an additional reason for his father's abuse? Good, because once John realises that Bob is gay and doesn't think that's a big deal about himself, he also obviously starts to obsess over that. Because of course he's not homophobic, but also how can you be so chill about something so... how can he put that? So private, so controversial? So hard? And his gears start spinning about that too.
In conclusion, John goes from being angry that he doesn't understand Bob, because he's so different from anything he knows to be good and right for a man to be, to obsessing over those said differences. It would take him so much damn time to realise he's developed a habit of observing Bob. That he slowly stopped analysing him, and turned to just watching him maybe a bit too much. That his "why is Bob so kind?" has evolved into "how can Bob be so kind?" and inevitably turned into "I like how kind Bob can be".
#my ramblings#something something john walker is full of toxic masculinity and internalised homophobia#something something he needs a man that is so distant from what john himself wants to be to learn that it's also okay for him to be “weak”#gay brainrot disguised as character analysis#job as in john x bob not a real job i don't have it#sentryagent#voidwalker#bob thunderbolts#robert reynolds#bob reynolds#john walker#us agent#the void#the sentry#the new avengers#thunderbolts*#thunderbolts#character analysis#headcanon
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i just wrote a whole post on how david and roger’s perception of each other ultimately led to their downfall and it started off as like a paragraph of surface level observations and somehow morphed into an essay length analysis that i can’t possibly justify posting 😭 i did kind of cook tho ngl i’m proud of her

#lena.txt#me when i’m normal#roger waters#david gilmour#pink floyd#watermour#even if i wanted to post it i would need to clean it up bc rn it’s just a huge mess#like it’s basically just a pure manifestion of my adhd#i got derailed multiple times like i never strayed completely from the point but i definitely had a lot of tangents#at some point i started talking about the seven deadly sins and how they pertain to the disharmony of pink floyd 😭#and obviously it’s completely opinion based so i can only use what facts or ‘evidence’ i do have to support my thesis#but i still think i did a pretty good job at capturing the full scope of things#even tho 99% of the time i’m like yeah i think this could be something but i am often wrong#i think this one came out pretty good and obviously there will always be a bias when it comes to anything opinion based#but i think it was a pretty fair analysis that doesn’t really favor or place much blame on either of them#it’s just how it is 🤷🏻♀️#also it’s actually based on my tags from another post i reblogged like last month about david’s perception of roger#and somehow it turned into a mini essay with a word count of 1.5k#of course if i go back and edit it i’m sure it will inevitably become longer and closer to 2k#also there’s nothing romantic about it in nature at all like the one reference made to intimacy is strictly about emotional intimacy
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The problem with the Harry Potter fandom is that so many of you are out there wondering about the "world building" in such a way that makes it clear that those books were never written for you actually. Harry Potter is for freaks like me who liked "the curtains are blue" analysis in middle school. You want to make this series fit on an Excel spreadshit. You drive yourselves mad trying to understand how many wizards exist in the world for the wizard industry to work, because you lack the imagination to just make up bullshit. Accountant brain. Meanwhile i giggle and preen in delight as my friend defends the literary parallels between Dracula and Voldemort. We are not the same <3
#the funny thing is that some of you are probably behaving like this because you don't have a job to intellectually challenge / structure you#so you pour this wasted energy into fiction analysis when really what you need is to sort out your bills a little#hp#jkr
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i think once i finished the suo crisis of contact analysis, i should sit down with all the source material and pieced together the most probable/relevant parts to his potential backstory. too many good bits, too many possibilities, too many exciting thoughts going on, but i have to wrangle it down to a believable narrative…..
#wbk#suo hayato#rccl#ah yes the difficulties of uhm. trying to do the author’s job for him#let it be known rn that Backstory Speculations are just for fun and analysis exercise only and we do not have the right (nor can)#tell the authors what to do lmfao#Backstory Speculations#this is fun though!
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Detroit Become Human and why does this game decide that the problem in society is individual people treating androids poorly because those androids are choking them out of the workforce and NOT the corporations and governments who deliberately designed the androids to do this
#AUGHHGHH#I promise you dbh is still one of my favourite games I really do#But ohhhhhhhjghh my GODDDD it makes me mad#Like ESPECIALLY this year. With artists and writers being so fucked by ai#Like the game has less than no sympathy for people who were screwed over by cyberlife deciding their labour wasn't worth anything#Like everybody has to be a strawman. Everybody has to be the violent 'android bad because (some vague reason that draws on the#'immigrants are stealing our jobs' line despite the fact that these things aren't equivalent at all)#Like yes. Robots being placed in positions where a real human would be paid a real wage to do that job is bad. This is a bad thing#But the game. Does not CARE#It's so morally neutral for cyberlife to be allowed to mass produce androids in the middle of a poverty epidemic that they created#It's fine! Says Detroit Become Human because everyone rendered homeless or struggling by this company's actions is a violent drug addict#Or something#It's like HUH#H U H#This game was so enamoured with it's weird bad civil rights allegory that it forgot that people do actually need jobs to uh. Pay to live#Because things are hell#And I think it could've been SO much better if the game acknowledged this AS WELL as acknowledging that no android chose this#Like a fresh deviant didn't ask to cause a real person to not have a job. The company who made them did#But dbh doesn't care. Cyberlife is morally neutral in this. I swear#Loses my mind this game is such a mess#Uhhh if anyone's reading this please don't get mad at me I promise I do really love this game. Like this game is the reason I#Met the love of my life. I am physically incapable of hating this game#I just think it's so worth discussing the ways it fails in (what I think is) a constructive manner#detroit become human#game analysis#I guess#If anyone has any contributions or disagrees with me I would LOVE love to hear. Genuinely I love talking about things like this#Essay in tags
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Makima, devils and self-fulfillment


Dumping some Makima and CSM thoughts after a part 1 binge bc I think about her forever and ever. I’m sure I’m forgetting some devil lore, feel free to correct what i get wrong/what’s been confirmed. On the table of contents there’s why & how Makima got fixated on Chainsaw, her revealing liking for the country mouse and discussion of her nature & emotions & desires. Was the scorpion doomed to be a scorpion?
The most of this post was thought of during a conversation with @saccharineomens and I don’t think it makes sense to jump into the spiral it sent me on without first laying down the interesting groundwork theorizing she did:
"Thinking about how makima herself wants to be deified. I wonder whether she recognizes the difference between Love As Worship and the love that Aki, Power, and Denji had. She says she wants to help humanity by having Chainsawman eat the “bad” devils, but why does she want to help humans? Because she was ordered to by the Prime Minister? No, her drive seems much more personal than that, it seems like she teamed up with the PM for contractual reasons. (In the most recent chapters we see governmental members wanting certain devils to be eaten, too. What was Makima’s relationship with them? She’s too independent to just follow THEIR orders, she’s Control.)
So is she wanting to better humanity for the accolades, or out of the goodness of her heart? She sees the big picture. She sees any small sacrifice as worth it for the end result, and she’s ruthless. Perhaps she thinks that a more sedate human race would be easier to control? But Makima doesn’t loathe humanity. She never acts like she sees all humans as lesser. She loves humanity’s creations, like good food and movies. She just wants Good Things all the time
She says she prefers the country mouse BUT adds a story where she helps exterminate country mice like vermin. She likes the simplicity yet rejects the idea of being simple. Makima the complex individual you are"
~
The story itself seems to prefr the country mouse. Well- it strikes a balance, shows that a risk to live good & fully can be very worth it, but still that stability over ambition is preferable, proning having a simple happy life over fame, a simple job instead of a dangerous one, etc etc. And I do find Makima’s answer on this so so interesting, she prefers the country mouse, but this preference isn’t out of affection or sympathy but because of how relaxing it feels to exterminate them when they cause problems.
Order satisfies her. Her order satisfies her. She likes the action of rooting out disorder. Maybe this is the devil part, like how Power especially wants blood and drinking it, I feel there’s an itch to every devil, and for Makima it’s a very rigid world view/morality/standards & making things follow her rules and submit to her order.
And maybe this is why she’s attached to humans too, why she felt it was worth it to stick with the government- because devils are chaotic by nature (it’s a whole plot point that hell is essentially a free-for-all battleground for example), meanwhile humans are the species that universally rule Earth with systems they invented and instilled. They made then enforced rules, complex and intricate webs of them. She feels alienated amongst devils but she understands the humans’ need for an orderly organised society, and now she wants to be part of it. Control and conquest require social dynamics after all, requires civilizations or groups. War is chaotic while peace is, well, peaceful— Makima resents her sisters for being death, famine and war, things that throw the world in such chaos. She wants a world of perfect order, no matter how much collateral damage there will be if the end result is control.
This is even more interesting if you consider that yes, Makima is untouchable of her own design, she deifies herself with her omnipresent amount of control and the sway over others that she seeks and encourages— There is this urge to dehumanize her for it, that yes, she is the devil of control and that means she was never going to be any different, have any more feeling be any less uncanny. And I love part 2 so much for this, because it shows us the war devil and the famine devil and we see how frankly uncharismatic with poor self-discipline they are, Nayuta too, and it helps us realize just how much Makima’s success was self-made.
She admires Chainsaw Devil, the Hero of Hell, because he had his own code and his own rules and he made Hell, the chaos pit, submit to them unfailingly. Wherever he goes he decides what he does and what happens to the people he encounters but does so consistently, he has his mechanism and his rules that he always obeys, and he fulfills them every time. It’s still a mystery the why of Chainsaw Devil’s behavior back then and how it works exactly, maybe Pochita left hell because he was tired of these rules he lived by like chains, but still, he was a servant to his code. Makima would have been glad being killed and eaten by Chainsaw Devil because it’d have been becoming part of his design, his conquest, his domination, she’d have been part of that —his— order. Through her death she would be shaping his world and be part of a conqueror’s making history. Like how she appreciates the country mice that die for the sake of order. Like how sacrifices must be made to herself, like listing the name of every person whose life was lost to the Gun Devil— All for the ~greater good~, for her vision for the world. Conquest always thinks its reasons are justified.

And she does mention with the country mice thing that she goes out to a friend’s farm every year! She has a human friend?? That she visits yearly and she genuinely likes it?? Ultimately she lives a busy city life because of her goal and drive and her urge & satisfaction with overseeing shaping the world herself, but part of her, like so many characters including Angel and Aki and Reze, wishes she could live a slow peaceful country life. Moviegoing and dogs and mice in a farm- Wouldn’t it be so much simpler if Makima could find fulfillment and happiness in being a farmer, in keeping control of her own farm, getting satisfaction from exterminating vermin and expertly getting everything right, the right crops grown at the right time on the right soil? Here, too, in a way it’s trying to have full control of an ecosystem, but her goals would be easier to achieve and better, without ceaseless sacrifice or much pressure. But Makima wants grandiosity and her goal does matter to her on a fundamental and moral level, she does think she knows what’s best for the world, and with the power to change it why wouldn’t she strive to? Visiting the farm is just a break, just something she does in fall to help out and just in time to see the vermin extermination. It calms her, then it’s back to actual work.
In capitalism, even the one at the very top of the ladder is ultimately alienated from others and often unsatisfied by their lifestyle, always wanting more and more power because surely that’s the extra edge they must be missing to be content— like how Makima thinks she wants to dominate Chainsaw Devil instead of being his equal. And she says it herself too, she likes humans the way humans like dogs…….. And she keeps so many dogs :( Makima prefers the country mice because they’re calming to root out, maybe because she usually mainly deals with city mice. It’s very easy to equate humans to the mice in this allegory because it’s pretty direct and she’s already likened humans to lesser animals compared to her. She’s self-isolating by design for her design but she still craves relationships and contentment, and the dogs are the embodiment or her want for bonds and occasional simplicity because there is no possible ulterior motive, no way they tie back into her wider plan. They’re her personal life— something that feels so alien when speaking about Makima. Personality and individuality and likes and preferences and friends they visit every year. She likes how easily she can train a dog and how they become putty in her hands, at her beck and call, how much they love her and how much she enjoys their love. How simple and straightforward and easy it is. She keeps them because she likes being loved by them and loving them, and she’s gotten and raised so many. A conqueror always wants more and more and more, is never satisfied.
Devils and agency

Like Power the blood devil wanting blood and having a fixation on drinking it like with Denji’s, or how it was shocking that the violence devil was pretty tame and nice and how he himself theorized it was because he was a fiend and possessing a human body… There’s something to be said about nature vs nurture with the devils. The way they reincarnate and always embody their fear makes it seem categorically like nature, that they always always end up fulfilling the role they were named after and born to fill… Outside influence they’re helpless but to conform with. Like the humans accepting their spot in the social ladder and the shittiness of their living conditions and job under capitalism. Makima craved being equals with someone despite being the control/conquest devil, Angel Devil despite claiming to be a devil who likes to see humans dying was haunted by their deaths and wanted to avoid ones like Aki’s. The Ghost Devil being ironically haunted by Himeno, seemingly helping Aki in her memory out of… Lasting affection? Or maybe it was less about being haunted itself and more about it recognizing how Himeno haunted Aki, and acknowledging that, with the memento, paying her respect to the ghost of her. It’s Angel Devil’s devil nature that makes him like human suffering, so then is it his angel nature too to still care about their deaths? Is there truth to this or is that just personality, just our confirmation bias haunting every part of their identity like it might in their own view of themselves too? We do know different reincarnations of devils do have different personalities after all.
Yoru, war devil, is the most interesting one when talking about the nature vs nurture debate with devils. There is how through her we see the perhaps the most the consequences of a devil stopping being feared— we see a horseman for a concept as universal and horrifying as war be reduced to some bird who needs a contract with a human to have any power even just on the situation when meeting Asa. And through the story we get to know her better, and it becomes clear that her goal is fueled in good part by simply wanting to be remembered and respected through fear. Liked, validated, seen a powerful. But what is more isolating than war? Or control? We also see Nayuta accepting others’ house rules. If part 1 shows perhaps the futility of running away from the truth, with Denji’s memory, with escapist coping mechanisms, with passivity and denial under a corrupt system and with abusive relationships- running away from your own feelings and from the reality of things and from all that you are, more complex than simply human or devil or both or neither— part 2 builds upon the theme of cult of personalities, the chainsaw church, etc. The apocalypse is coming, but this celebrity superhero might save us all, or doom us all uh, dunno. The hero of hell reliving the cycle of pressure from responsibilities and expectations, maybe the part will end with Denji running away like Pochita did~
But yes, on the reverse, I think Famine is a very interesting example of how a devil’s namesake may be more innate than coerced by circumstances. One would think that a famine devil would only like inflicting famine upon others, not being famished itself, but Famine has a bottomless stomach that can never, ever be satisfied, sated. I struggle to find a psychological explanation for this, except that maybe instead of her being hungry it’s her feeling empty when she’s not eating, tasting and having that high sensory experience that releases serotonin in humans, sort of like drugs? But I do take this as a step towards the compulsion theory overall, feels like a reach in the consistency otherwise. And compulsion does not mean it’s something that they like nor that it’s something that they fight against, pretty neutral, just a nature that nudges you towards one path. Maybe it’s even just their go-to for entertainment. Maybe it’s the only thing that makes them feel right and whole. But still the debate remains, what is it, a compulsion or an urge or an itch or an active desire or a conscious chosen want? Does it change anything in practice?
And because of all of this earlier, devils being self-fulfilling prophecies with their role is not in unsignificant part nurture, because doing their atrocities is how they stay remembered— feared, powerful, known— hell and devils are a very isolating place and breed after all, and we do see devils can want companionship. Existentially, it’s their purpose and how they justify their place in the world, in the terrifyingly vast and unknowable cosmos.
We still know so little of what makes Chainsaw Devil so special, why his carnage is so self-controlled. Despite a chainsaw maybe being possibly one of the most "nature" thing you can be— a tool to cut things, a human tool that can be helpful for many things, something to be wielding by another at their judgement on what they decide, but mainly something to cut, a tool suited for carnage, to hurt and to destroy. A blade with a toothed chain, spinning around and around and around endlessly on the same road at the same pace. Such a…. Innately circular concept. And yet the Chainsaw Devil is his own, not driven by an urge or by chaos but his very own brand of order, his own unique assigned purpose, a "if you call i’ll come running to help" policy equalizing everyone. He chooses to withhold his destruction and interference otherwise, and then he chooses to be used. If it’s a choice, of course.
Maybe this is what inspired Makima so much, that Chainsaw Devil could decide what to make of himself despite expectations or innate role. Because even Hell he decided & managed to subjugate under his will and whim, with a precise vision and process. When Chainsaw Devil acts like Denji or is defeated, Makima clicks her tongue and loses her admiration and respect. Makima admired and liked Chainsaw Devil, but only as long as he matched her great image of him in her mind, as long as he followed he rules for what she thinks he should be like. She admired him for his unrivaled self-made success, but once he stepped out of that to truly embody self-fulfillment and agency, disappearing from hell to live on his own road at the beat of his own drum… Well. Surely that was a mistake she has to correct. However their second battle ends, the better conqueror will have prevailed and she’s happy about that, all in the spirit of domination and subjugation.
Imo Makima’s biggest tool, similarly capitalism’s most helpful effect for its own purposes, is complacency. Resignation and passivity helps uphold the system and go along the flow of the will of the people in power. Aki and Reze go along with orders even when knowing their job is trash, etc. In Angel Devil especially we see him go along with the flow uncaring about anyhing, and we discover it was in part due to Makima taking away memories that motivated him. If every devil decides this is just how things are and how things should be that’s what they’ll continue to be and do mindlessly, not pursuing a better life like Chainsaw Devil and Denj and not seeking to change the world like Makima. I think even Makima veils herself to a lot of things, she doesn’t like to think deeply about some things, like her desire for connection, or how making bad movies disappear is strenuous and unsustainable and requiring sacrifices at best— how her judgement is as subjective as anyone else. How liking the country mouse and her friend back at the farm and her dogs could be not devoid of sentimality. Wanting bad movies erased is her one biggest show of selfishness, of pettiness and individuality, it’s about her tastes, simple as. About how she can have tastes, and cry seeing a scene of people hug, and want things that aren’t logical, her ideology and mind twisted into a pretzel to avoid acknowledging that she doesn’t live and breathe purely for the mission she’s made a single-minded robot out of herself to accomplish. Nayuta is assertive and selfish and loud, Makima is manipulative and strategically both for her goals and for coping hollow.


Everything in her plans and goals she says is for the greater good, necessary evil, manufactured happiness the way she’ll have decided for people— and that’s the thing isn’t it, like with War, it’s the crack that shows it was all truly about herself after all. Her self-made deification still had the flaw that a self made it. Makima is not omniscient, and it’s not Chainsaw Devil the not-so-fellow-kindred-soul conqueror who gets the best of her, but a city mouse, a dog, someone she would have never thought to respect, Denji.
#Fumi rambles#Chainsaw man#makima#analysis#meta#The goal is moreso me dropping thoughts than being flawless on every aspect of the lore so if and when i get things wrong b merciful….#Maybe her liking of control is why she remembers the ww2 authoritarian fascists. I don’t want to say the word jic for tumblr search#Pity is never a factor When mercy is a sign of a talentless actor#And as you grow its hold on your throat starts to falter And once you go beyond pure humanity's border#You will come back like a dooooog 😭#This’d be a different topic but. I don’t think makima likes denji as much as one of her dogs. If so i’d say it was in the moments where#she brought him to movies but even then….. i think she has more fondness for her dogs bc w denji it was indifference and derision#I love you please humiliate me / strip my dignity and laugh my honey#God. God i’m fine. I’m so okay about csm#Makima has a cryptic but strong sense of morals?? That doesn’t align with ours obvi but#‘Someone like you has no right to wish for a normal life do they?’ What do you meannn what do you meannnnn#What is this contempt for denji. Does she see herself as moral or part of those that are city mice bc they’re undeserving of a calm life???#Maybe famine only feels fed on humans and their blood 🤔 or their fear. man idk idk idk idk but i wanna see more of her quirks#And before someone says ‘but every demon likes to drink blood’ power is especially fixated on it tho cmannnn#Did Angel lie when he said he liked seeing humans die?? Did his haunting thing become worse after meeting Aki?? Did he suppress it#because he feels like he doesn’t belong as a devil??? bc he’s suppressing his memories of the villagers he cared about??#Has he just been trying so hard not to care for so long. Passive bc he thought that’s all he could or should be#AGHHHHH#Spoilers#There’s a lot more i’d have liked to touch on like the popular theory that Makima was *raised* by the government#and i’ve seen a take that the ‘my friend at a farm’ thing is all euphemism from makima about her troublesome human killing job ykyk#but i think the phrasing is too literal and natural for that. The snow and soil talk everything. It’s a perfect allegory but it can be both
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you know I wasn't going to comment on anything s3 in detail or write a super long divisive post because that's draining and tiring and I just want everyone to have fun and find joy in fandom in whatever way is best for them. And yet here we are. Who'd have thought?
All I wanted from season 3 was for Wilmon to talk to and with each other, to get to know each other (better) and to try to understand and support each other and grow together. To be a couple in love and working on their relationship, learning from each other. Them against the world, facing problems together as a team. I wanted romance and hugs and honesty, and all I got was them being horny. I mean don't get me wrong I love them being horny, but I don't want that to be their entire (positive) relationship and the only thing they have going for them as a couple. Please just have an actual, proper conversation with each other?
This post however is not about that. This post is about Kristina.
I hate what they did with her. I hate her entire character arc (if you can call it that) in s3. I hate what triggered her breakdown. I hate that instead of breaking the circle of abuse and emotional and physical neglect she no doubt suffered, she perpetuated it.
She left her son alone when he needed her most. When all he needed was a hug and a good long cry and the assurance that he's not alone, that she's there for him. That she understands. For someone (his family) to be there and listen and assure him that for them, Wille comes first. (I mean not all, he also needed proper therapy for one, but that'd have been a great and important start)
Wille is a child. Her child. Wille needed her and she failed him. She pushed him away and she sent him away and she left him alone.
(the same is true for Ludvig of course, it'd be extremely sexist etc to not put the exact same expectations and blame on him as well, but alas this post is only indirectly about him as everything always is at best)
However.
Her son is dead.
She's been groomed to believe her entire purpose in life is to be a mascot (which comes with very specific expectations and restrictions she herself said she struggled to adapt to) and to give birth to the next mascot.
I don't pity her for that, but that's still her entire identity and purpose in life. It's always been, and now the next mascot is dead and she has to burden the son she thought would be spared with it all, pun very much intended.
But let's return to my first point first. Her son is dead. Not just the next mascot. Her son.
Yes, Wille's brother died as well and I'll never make light of that. It's horrible and a grief and pain impossible to put into words. Especially as a kid or young teen. Wille needs all the support. Still.
It's not the same.
I know it's not the same because I know exactly what it's like. Both of it.
Granted I'm not a queen, but I did have a cousin who died aged sixteen. We lived in the same house their entire life and shared a bedroom for years. We were like siblings. It was my first time experiencing the death of a close loved one and it was horrible. We all struggled for a long time. Their siblings and I and the entire family, and they will never be forgotten, but it broke my aunt and uncle. Fifteen years later and they're still broken.
I also have two sons and a spouse who are dead (no I didn't lose them, I know exactly where they are) and I promise you it's not the same. A dead sibling is nothing like a dead child. (not that it's a competition)
I'm not going to talk about what it does to you internally, but I will tell you what you'll experience from the outside world when your family dies excitingly enough to make it to the local newspaper. Then feel free to multiply it by a large number of your own choosing when you're royalty and the entire country is looking at you and you've been groomed to never lose composure.
Everyone will call and show up and want to show their support and their condolences (that lasts until about a week or so after the funeral). And they will get two words in and break down and cry, each and every one of them, and then it's your job to console them and be strong and deal with all the arrangements and lawyers and bureaucracy. And it'll have to be you for most things no matter how supportive your family might be, because it's you who needs to sign shit and show the school a death certificate. Everyone will mean well, but it'll be everyone else who'll require reassurance and you who'll have no choice but to function because at first there's so much to do. So much. You won't have time to breathe until after the funeral, and after that there're still so much more to do and take care of you'd never have considered before. For weeks. You can ask someone else to drive you but it'll still be you who's required to show up and do the thing. Some things will drag out for months and more. You don't have time to break down and be weak. You can't afford to, because you also have a job and other responsibilities and a duty to your dead loved ones.
But then the day comes when it's 'over' and there's nothing more to do. Sure people still look at you with pity and whisper behind your back wherever you go and fall quiet, unsure how to react or what to say, because you're now the lady who lost her family in a freak accident, but everything and everyone else moves on. That's normal. It can't not. But it's that quiet after which is the most dangerous.
I hate that they made Kristina's breaking point her son publicly coming out as queer, renouncing following traditions without thought and admitting to having been in the video. I hate it so much, because that was a choice made with an entirely different motive behind the one I'll expound on now and I hate that. Don't instrumentalize grief and the loss of a child and sibling to further prove and underline your political agenda (which I agree with). It cheapens it and was very much unnecessary. We all would've gotten the point without it as well.
But you know what? I can't fault Kristina for that.
You don't know your breaking point until you reach it. It can be anything. There's a reason the saying goes 'the straw that broke the camel's back'. Everyone has a different one and they often feel very ridiculous to oneself (which is a very helpful feeling in that situation, believe me /s). I've talked to numerous people who've gone through something similar. In my support group and in grief counseling and group therapy. No one I've met had a 'logical' breaking point.
Mine came late last fall when I saw a robin outside my window. Yes a bird. We'd have one come every winter to eat the oats and raisins etc we put out for it, and my youngest would spend endless hours every day before dusk looking out that window waiting for the robin to come and eat for a few moments at a time, less if he started clapping out of excitement.
That was it. Boom. I was useless for the next seven weeks.
You don't let your grief overcome you. That isn't a choice. You don't choose not to function when a loved one dies. You don't choose to be depressed or to have the most ridiculous thing be your breaking point. You don't choose to be too strong to not let the grooming break you or to be too weak to be unable to break out of it. And you don't choose to be unable to sit at a birthday party and enjoy cake with a son you know you'll have to force into a role he never wanted, the one your dead son was supposed to fill.
Does that make Kristina any less of a shitty mom? No, of course not. Nor does it change anything for Wille. Kristina's grief shouldn't be Wille's concern. But you don't choose any of that, and the stronger you have to appear the farther you'll fall once you just can't hold it together anymore.
I grew up with a very large, multicultural extended family. There wasn't an hour I was awake at home as a kid when I wasn't hugged or kissed by a younger cousin or aunt or my mom (it was super annoying). We talked and still talk about everything. I married into a family which was a bit less physical and more Swedish in showing their affection, but they are still very open and loving and genuine. I had all the support I could ask for. They're the best and I couldn't have asked for more.
It's not enough. Your child is dead. And Kristina had none of that.
Is Kristina (and Ludvig) super annoying for going on and on and on about Erik and how perfect he was? About always bringing him up when they have a son right there who needs them desperately?
Yes. It annoyed me too. I kept catching myself being furious on Wille's behalf and Simon's with how Wille reacted to the not-comparison between Erik and Sara. But I understand Wille's reaction to Simon and I understand Kristina and Ludvig.
Because once your child / sibling / spouse / dog dies?
They become perfect. My oldest once poured syrup where he shouldn't (it was a Nordic winter night and the car was thirsty) resulting in us being out of our only car, our insurance laughing at us, and us unable to afford a new one. It cost a lot of money, my spouse almost their job and made our life a lot harder for well over a year. He was old enough to know better (and leave the house by himself to go outside and play). He never did anything wrong in his life. He was perfect. They were all perfect.
Erik? What we learn about him is horrifying, and it being normalized and dare I say institutionalized, with him probably not having second guessed his actions, makes it worse instead of better. I do believe Erik was the kind of guy who just didn't (care to) think and merely did what was expected without further thought. That doesn't make it better either, because those kinds of people are the ones who keep corrupt systems running. I might be wrong about his character entirely, but it doesn't matter, because as soon as he died he became perfect.
It's weird what death does to our perception of a loved one. Or maybe not. It's also weird what death does to our perception of everything, because suddenly everything will remind us of that person.
A cloud? A scent? A sound? Toilet paper? Kristina is at the stage where everything she sees and feels and smells and hears will remind her of Erik and his death. Of how he's dead and now Wille has to become him and that is the worst.
Also her son is dead.
No she can't just pull herself together and eat the damn cake. Everything she talks about is Erik because everything she currently is is Erik. Her son who is dead.
There is a reason this is such an often used trope in fiction.
Kristina spent all her life being told that her duty to the throne is her only purpose in life. Be queen. Represent Sweden. Produce an heir. Part of why she's as old as she is is no doubt because Pernilla August is awesome and you can't not hire her when that's an option, but nothing else in this show is a coincidence and done without thought, so I refuse to believe that Kristina hasn't always been meant to be an older mom.
Maybe she had fertility issues. Maybe she for whatever reason didn't want kids and put it off for as long as she could. She's certainly not maternal. Unlike every other woman her generation, no one ever expected her to be maternal. That's not her job.
Quite the opposite. Kristina is old enough to have been raised at a time when royal mothers weren't expected to have any hand in raising their children except for approving (or rather disapproving chosen) nannies and playmates and tutors and the like. She was very likely the first female heir apparent, or maybe she was simply the heir because she had no (male) siblings. Either way her job was always to be a monarch, not a woman or a mother. That's what staff is for. That's not an excuse, but it does explain her as a character.
She was groomed and forced herself to adjust (I do believe forced is the right word, because unlike Erik she seems to (have) be(en) a lot more like Wille than she'd like to admit). She had to be strong and queen and represent Sweden. And then her son and heir died and she failed at both.
I do believe Erik was always the 'easier' child, doing what he was told and taking only the freedoms he knew he'd be granted, while Wille is willful, argues, has a temper and his own head. (that doesn't mean Erik was happier or better adjusted)
And now Erik is dead and Wille has to fit the mold. Wille who got to go to a normal school and clubbing and was let to run wild with little preparation for the role he'd someday have to support his brother with. Arguments can be made that Kristina and everyone else never cared about Wille until they needed him, but I'd like to think she meant well and gave him the freedom she could, and because she is a bad parent she thought she was being kind, and because she is queen no one told her otherwise until it became a problem.
Kristina has never been a good parent, and I honestly believe saying someone meant well is an insult and not an excuse, but I do believe she tried the best with what she knew, the best she could.
It wasn't enough, it was the opposite of enough, but she tried and her breakdown is not a weakness but something which was a long time in coming.
She's not maternal. Her job wasn't to be maternal. Her job is to be a mascot and have other people make sure the next mascot is fed and watered and able to perform. Her being too brainwashed to see how horrifying that is does not make her innocent or any less of a bad mother, but why would she think of acting any other way?
She's ashamed of her breakdown. She can't be weak. Not in front of the nation and not in front of her son and heir. Wille can learn and grow and change. Everyone can and it's never too late, but Kristina here is meant to be what Wille risks becoming if he doesn't, if he gives up and becomes a thoughtless mascot.
Kristina is not a victim and I can't forgive her for being a shit mom, but she's also not the devil. She's a mother who lost her child, and she's spent her whole life being told that the worst thing she can do is to appear weak.
Well guess what? At one point that simply doesn't work anymore.
This post by the lovely @voldiebeth is what motivated me to write a similar one. I originally planned on reblogging and merely adding my own thoughts, and I did talk to her before posting, but then it became something even more personal than originally planned, and considering the difficulty of the subject I found myself more comfortable making this a standalone post. I know that's not proper tumblr etiquette, but please bear with me. Many thanks to @voldiebeth for motivating me to put my convoluted thoughts and feelings in writing and order them a bit. It was very cathartic.
#On an entirely different point#I'll never be able to wrap my head around how Farima of all people turned out to be the best kindest and most functioning adult around#despite representing a dysfunctional system#Followed by Micke of all people?#Every other adult was crap!#Ramirez might get a tiny#hypocritical bonus point#but Boris you too!#what was that?#Your job did not end with Wille giving his speech!#oh and I'm not asking for condolences#that is not the point of this post#yr s3 spoilers#queen kristina#young royals meta#young royals analysis#young royals#random ramblings
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this is some really personal shit that has to do with how i analyze and interpret john.
when i was a child, my father dragged me around the country from motel to motel talking about how he lost my mother and his single-minded focus on getting her back. i was his best friend. i was his only confidant. i wanted him to be happy all the time. i felt responsible for when he was sad - both with whatever the current situation was and in all the sad moments of his long sad life. when i wasn't with him, sometimes he would go for weeks without calling and i would miss him and think i did something wrong and then sometimes he would tell me what that wrong thing was and i would try to do better. i sat patiently and quietly on the couch in his strange friend's dark house filled with fishing gear while they talked and talked and talked about the ways the world had screwed them over. i never knew where we were driving to. sometimes i would sleep in the car for hours and we still hadn't gotten there. he wanted me to show him a terrifying and confounding amount of respect. he would cry and i would kneel on the couch next to him and try to envelope his whole body into my arms in a hug. i loved him ferociously and protectively. he wanted my singular loyalty and got it. it's so hard to even summarize it all. each moment is just so full of ...
he hurt my feelings and i loved him. i got mad at him and i loved him. he got mad at me and i loved him. i felt deeply sorry for him and i loved him.
and when i watched supernatural oh boy let me tell you.....
and i know it's not chic or whatever to compare john to your dad. I KNOW THAT. but not to garishly bear my open bloody heart on the internet. it's just. i watched this fucking show and i was like... i know him. like. i know that man.
and i'm kinda screwed because we all are analyzing things from our own experiences so when i'm interpreting all the little clues left about john throughout the show, it all feels so familiar. and i don't actually have a way to separate my experience as a child with that kind of father from the way i'm analyzing and watching spn. and so i'm stuck saying, well john just is really similar to my dad. and, yeah, of course there are differences. but i guess all i can do is commit to bringing as much nuance and care to any and all creative endeavors or analysis as half a lifetime of therapy has taught me...
#cn idk#cn implied abuse?#this is so wildly personal im sorry#i am prone to disclaimers and over explaining and this is my most... idk... thing to explain#like in a very real way this is why im like this#and im sorry i feel like maybe there's been a bit of a current to idk...#like i'm worried people see my takes or my fics and are like this is shitty and not fair enough or something#or like it's reductive of analysis to say how he feels like your own father#and i'm just like...#im trying really hard but it would be a lot simpler if my dad hadn't tried so hard to get me to call him sir#or asked me for help paying for stuff cause he had trouble keeping a job#but really i respect people wanting to delve more into john's emotions and everything#like i get that#he's a really interesting character#but i spent 20+ years trying to empathize with and understand my father#and now i really kinda do#and im not looking for more ... idk... practice with that#what i am looking for is how to heal from that#how to feel like you're allowed to picture a future you might want#how to love without worrying thats who you'll become#so basically dean things#and like i do a LOT of trying to get into john's headspace when im writing cause he just is so real to me but like... idk...#it's not juicy crunchy yummy analysis to me i guess...?
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casual miami predictions
I did a few Miami prediction readings today - asked about what the podium will be like, etc. And I THINK ferrari fans we *might* be so back bc i kept getting the Queen of Swords, which I've gotten for Charles multiple times in the past few weeks. So then I went and asked about Charles' race in Miami like "how will his race go, general feel" and got cards talking about victory MULTIPLE TIMES (9 of cups, 6 of wands etc.). I redid this reading like 3 times to be sure and KEPT getting the same cards. So i think we'll see a charles win/podium in Miami - i say maybe podium because i did get a feel that there will be some troubles/adversity from some other cards, most likely from Ferrari's side (strategy or the car) so a win might not be accurate, but a high level of success is definitely sitting in the cards right now.
In terms of podium - I got temperance which ive drawn for Oscar before, and I've also gotten cards ive associated with max and lando before. So My TENTATIVE podium predictions is either a Charles +mclaren x2, or Oscar, charles, max podium. BUT DO NOT QUOTE ME ON THAT IF IT DOESNT HAPPEN this was VERY brief and i plan to investigate properly more before the race so I can get a clearer picture
#i say this tentatively btw#bc i did just do quite a brief reading and analysis#this wasnt to the level of detail i do my other readings#but it does track with what I read of him in regards of his overall season#but i am confident he'll at least have a good result in miami#or a very good CHANCE at a good result - if ferrari actually does their FUCKING JOB#formula 1#formula one#tarot#f1#tarot cards#tarot readings#charles leclerc#cl16#max verstappen#mv33#ln4#lando norris#oscar piastri#op81
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