shout out to everyones who's brains and nervous systems have been wrecked by stressors + the state of the internet + everything else going on. I promise we'll adapt and I promise things will be alright, focus on making good small decisions to protect your well-being like cutting certain platforms (instagram, twitter, whatever you feel like) and having a look through your follow list to see if unfollowing some people might help. try giving your brain a rest by letting yourself be bored some times. try doing a puzzle or a physical task without a podcast or music or netflix drama. consider not clicking on that expose video of someone you dont know. hesitate before telling someone off in the comments or joining in on an online argument that you can opt out of. protect yourself so you can make your world a better place. push yourself when needed. cut the onslaught of overstimulation where you can, if you want.
I am saying this as someone who's never felt at home irl, with adhd and dyspraxia, general awkwardness, chronic depression, struggles with regulation and im sure a bunch of other things. I really struggle reducing screen time because it often feels like the outside world rejects me, I'm sure some of you relate to that, but I'm taking small steps to make things easier for me in the long run and day to day. it doesnt matter if we don't reach some end goal of total and complete peace and purity or whatever, all that matters is that we're choosing to be more mindful of how we navigate this world of constant stimulation. and i fully believe in all of us :)
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speaking of testosterone i need to um book my blood test but last time they said my blood pressure was really high but like i was nervous because i was at the height of my ‘mom died suddenly of cancer’ trauma induced health anxiety where i was convinced any doctors test would reveal a secret terminal disease…..and the person doing it just said nothing made a face and made me do the pressure bit like five times in a row which just STRESSED ME OUT!!!!!!! SO OF COURSE THE READING WAS HIGH!!!!!!
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**** and ****** and I all got invited to birthday party #1 tonight. Then each of them got invited to an additional birthday party, #2-3. so now I am being made to go party hopping with them. to parties of ppl I’ve only met in passing. and if that weren’t bad enough a friend of ours but mostly theirs is opening for [mid but confusingly well known DJ in our town who thinks playing starships by Nicki Minaj makes her all that even tho *** is better!] tonight and so now we’re gonna try to go to four things. Woeeeee is literally meeeeeeee I want 2 stay home and pirate ebooks and listen to sufjan stevens but unfortunately if I refused to go it’d be a whole big thing even though I literally only ever agreed to go to party #1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Scream. Ugh whatever I’m going to drink a matcha latte with raspberries and a shot of espresso at 4-5 pm and hopefully I will not pass away </3 Urgh this is fine this is good for me I’m young blah blah blah I have to enjoy this era it’s fleeting whatever blah blah blah I have the rest of my life to drink herbal tea all alone plan my garden and force myself to read a joan Didion book I am not enjoying. Blah blah blah but I don’t have to LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh AND I have to go fucking secondhand clothes shopping* beforehand this is like when Gabriella and Troy from High School Musical had big game, scholastic decathalon, and callback auditions all at the same time
*it’ll be FINE I guess hdhebfndjjejejdjdj
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