#Why am I only good at strategizing when it's in a video game?

[fullofpossibilities]

Me IRL: Do I have plans today? I know I have work......yeah that's it, oh well, I'll just do whatever comes my way

Meanwhile me in potion permit: Ok 6 o'clock, if there are patients in the clinic treat them first, then head down and dig up the worm in front of Mayor Myers house. Next, teleport to the wilds and head down to Mattheo's house and dig up the second worm there. He wakes up at 8, talk to him first before teleporting to town. Head up to the church and complete the first side job, then keep going up the hill and dig up the final worm. Teleport back into town and go to town hall, complete the second side job, and talk to Xiao. It is usually anywhere between 13:00-14:00 at this point. Teleport back into the wilds and gather whatever resources you are a. running low on or b. need for a quest/upgrade. Do this until you are out of stamina, usually by now it is anywhere between 17:00-18:00. Teleport next to my house and head down to the police station, complete the third and final side job. Hunt down Reyner and talk to him (as well as stopping to talk to everyone else I see on the way). Go to the 1st fishing spot and use up the three worms you dug up this morning to fish 3 times. If it is Wednesday or Sunday (when the church or town hall is closed) use the extra time to stop by the blacksmith's or carpenter's shop to get any upgrades you're saving up for. It is now anywhere between 2300 and 0100, go home and sleep.

Then do it all over again.

[smolwritingchick]

The Bangtan Gal Chapter 3O- War of Hormone

Chapter Summary: Jen portrays a sexy persona as she films War of Hormone with BTS. An old friend messages Jen when she creates a new Instagram. Nervous because she's not used to dancing so close to guys, Jungkook helps Jen to relax when up close and personal.

Genre: Major Jennie and Jungkook fluff!! JenKook! He's starting to show his feelings a little more!

Words: 7,000+

Author's Note: One of my fav chapters! The ending especially! I added a little more to this chapter compared to the first time I posted this years ago. New ideas kept coming and I thought the ending was sweet and foreshadowing.

----

What were her motives?

There must be a glitch, how can she keep doing this to me?

Angry thoughts filled the Golden Maknae’s mind. Frustration was visible on his handsome features as he continued to aggressively mash the buttons of the PlayStation controller. Currently playing Call of Duty with his best friend, Jungkook couldn’t help but feel taken aback when he noticed that he could not stop getting killed by her.

Noticing his frustration, Jen managed to keep her laughs to herself, smirking in amusement as she continued to snipe him, every time he would respawn. Her “Strategic” gameplay seemed to be working in her favor.

Her stomach dropped when she saw him trying to shoot at her character. A smirk appeared on Jungkook’s face.

He finally found her.

“How are you doing this!?”

She heard his frustrated growl, punching a nearby pillow. She managed to shoot him before he killed her off.

“Luck?” She quipped in an innocent tone. 

Finally, she could feel good beating him in one of the many video games they would play. It was pleasing to see him lose against her. Even if it was rare.

“JENNIE!” He shouted after he got killed, once again. Triggered by her laughter, he lunged at her, making her shriek.

“H-HEY! Wait!” She giggled as she tried to prevent him from snatching the controller out of her hands.

“Give me the controller!”

“Get away from me!”

Holding onto the controller with all her might, she grabbed onto a pillow to swing it at his head. His hair stood up, disheveled as he sat there, surprised at the sudden attack. 

“Oh, now you’re dead!”

“Get away!” She yelled, standing up on her feet. 

She ran around the couch with him running after her. With the game forgotten and playing in the background, the two friends stood on each side of the couch, watching each other’s move. Jennie, standing at the back of the couch, pondered how she would be able to get out of this.

“Hey! Over there!” 

As soon as he turned his head, she tried to make a run for it, only to get her wrist grabbed.

“Not falling for that, one.” He effortlessly picked her up over his shoulder. Feeling her fists banging against his back, he laughed at her pleas. “Suffer.”

With no remorse, he started spinning her around, attempting to make her dizzy.

“Yah! Yah! Yah! Yah! Yah! Cut it out! You’ll break a lamp again.” Namjoon scolded. “And I would appreciate it if I wasn’t blamed this time.” He added, staring at Jennie after Jungkook put her down.

“What the-it wasn’t me! I’m trying to tell you!” She exclaimed. “It was Jungkook! It’s been a year, Namjoon!”

“Uh huh...sure...”

“Why won’t you believe me!?”

-------

The next day was Jungkook’s birthday. He was finally 17 and as a tradition, Jennie and Jungkook would send each other random birthday memes and messages. Carrying on the tradition, Jennie sent him random messages while he was at practice.

To Jungkook, who finished his dance practice, he looked down at his phone, letting out a short laugh.

Jennie had sent him a Kermit Frog tea meme

Jennie: When Jennie beats you in COD multiple times but that's none of my business :)))) [9:36 am]

“Two can play at that game...” He said, getting evil intentions.

Back to Jennie, she got herself ready for the day and heard a loud ping while brushing her teeth in the bathroom. Walking back to her room, she picks up her phone.

“This...this overgrown motherchucker!” She yelled, feeling her face heat up from embarrassment.

He had sent her a derp meme of himself 

JK: When you have a 0-29 losing streak against the birthday boy in Mario Cart but that's none of my business [9:41 am]

Jennie: JUNGKOOK! [9:41 am]

Backstage, still promoting Danger, Jennie and the rest of the members took early birthday photos for Namjoon’s upcoming birthday, to post on SNS.

“Aw, you look so cute!” She pointed to his birthday hat.

“I refused to wear the hat, but I still had to wear it.” He sighed. Although he didn’t like the hat, there was no denying that he looked adorable with it on his head.

“I’m sure the ARMYs will like it.” She stood behind him. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she smiled while he put up two peace signs.

As she chilled on the couch, with Yoongi, who was napping, she looked up to see Jungkook putting his mouth all over Namjoon’s hat.

“Whoa! Whoa! What is going on here!? Jesus Christ, Jungkook, what the frick!?” She exclaimed in alarm. The response she got from him was a silent laugh. As the Bangtan Bomb camera turned to her, she pointed out, “Mind you, he just turned 18, folks. What else is he going to do? ARMYs are going to go crazy over this, I hope you know. Jungkook better attend all their funerals.”

-------

Finally prepared to promote War of Hormone, BTS started the day off by posing for the concept photos. For her outfit, she wore high waisted leather skinny jeans, black heels and a red short sleeved crop top with lace on the shoulders. Her hair was freshly washed and straightened with loose curls. Her appearance seemed foreign since the outfit showed off a sexier side to her.

“Jennie...looking good. Do you know that your front is the best? And your back is the best?” Jimin tried to flirt, putting an arm around her.

Rolling her eyes, playfully having an annoyed expression on her face, she took his arm off her, retorting, “Boy bye!”

Letting out a nervous chuckle, Jimin tried to explain on camera, “Don’t worry ARMY, this is just how our relationship works. Please support JenMin! Right now, she’s just playing hard to get. She’s easily flustered. She was probably just shy.”

“Riiiight. Whatever gets you through the day.” She patted him on the back, strolling away. Jimin let out another nervous laugh, trying to hide his rejection.

“ARMY, Jimin and Jennie are just friends. They always do this, don’t worry.” Jungkook explained.

“Why are you telling them lies!?” Jimin shook him, earning a loud laugh in response.

As they finished the group photo shoot, they took their photo shoot to a local store. 

“Ooh, can I have some? Haven’t had whipped cream in a minute.” She asked Suga, who had a can in his hands. He sprayed some in her mouth and she happily enjoyed the taste. “Just as good as I remember.”

After watching the guys do their individual photoshoots, she sat down against the shelves of groceries, with her right knee up to her chest. She rested her right arm on her knee.

From posing with her tongue poking out of her mouth, puckering up her lips for the camera, to having a strawberry between her teeth, the photo shoot went well so far. Getting back up to her feet, one of the female stylists fluffed up her hair, so it could put off a sexier vibe. 

“Is this too sexy?” She gestured as she leaned against the wall.

After taking more shots, she checked out some of the photos, nodding in approval. “Well damn. I’m getting better at these concept photos.”

-----

The next day was the day of the Music video shooting. Jennie adjusted her leather jacket, zipping it halfway. Gathering around the director with the rest of the members, the director began to direct how the music video would go. “We’re doing one take.”

“Gah...one take?” Jennie asked in surprise. “This is going to be fast paced.”

“When it’s your cue, you’ll be sitting by the bench.” The director addressed.

After getting pointers, she turned to the camera, raising her shoulders up and down at a fast rate, clearly excited. “This is going to be fun! And I’m dancing in heels.” She pointed to her black heels. “Am I cool, yet? No? Okay, never mind, then.”

Getting out of the way, she watched the guys shoot the opening scenes of the music video. One of her favorite parts of the music video would have to be the beginning.

“Ah, it’s nice to chill for most of the music video. It’s fun to watch.” She looked on as the guys walked around the model. As she continued to watch, she couldn’t help but feel anxious about her performance for the music video. They were attempting to film everything in one take, she intended to make sure she didn’t slow anyone down.

When it was finally her cue as the guys were lip syncing the chorus, she sat on the bench, legs crossed, with a magazine in her hands.

La la la la la la la la la

aptaedo choego dwitaedo choego

La la la la la la la la la

georeumgeori hanakkaji choego choego

Throwing the magazine away, she stood up and strutted past them. Jin, taking a glimpse at who was walking past them, widened his eyes and pointed her out. Mesmerized by her presence, they scurried on to follow her, walking close behind her.

Continuing to strut in front of the camera, she had a sexy expression on her face as her hair bounced when she walked. Behind her, Jin, Rap Monster and Suga had their eyes widened, blinking in disbelief.

Jimin had his tongue out, occasionally licking his lips. V and J-Hope had their jaws dropped. V, being the extra one, also stared at her backside, pondering if he should grab it or not. Meanwhile, Jungkook checked her out by eyeing her up and down, biting his bottom lip.

Before she knew it, she began to lipsync her verse.

I know I’m the best, from head to toe

it’s completely ridiculous if you think I don’t know

Slowly unzipping her jacket, she peeled it off, throwing it back, allowing Rap Monster and J-Hope to catch it.

My hair

My body

My waist and legs

It’s okay to stare, I know that I look good

Stopping, she turned to the guys, calling them out.

Yea, I see you starin’ hard

Caught you off guard

I see you droolin’

Who are you foolin’?

V attempted to put an arm around her but she slid away from his grasp, wagging her finger, saying no. Suga got close to her, attempting to flirt but she placed a hand on his firm chest, shoving him away.

Sucks to know it won’t be easy to tempt me

You and I both know that I’m driving you crazy

Those sexy smirks and lip bites clearly show how much you’re yearning

Don’t try to hide it, I see your body twistin’ and turnin’

You call me an equation and say you can just do me

But we both know you’re the one dreaming and wishing you could touch me

With a sexy smile on her face, she pointed to the camera, continuing to walk ahead. Glancing down at her body, she lipsynced,

I could turn you into a man

But you can’t handle this

Halting, she placed a hand on her hip since Jungkook blocked her way. Unbothered by his seductive smirk and eyebrow raise, she met his stare, reaching out to run a hand through his soft, black locks.

You say you can’t hold back and you wanna please me

I’m gonna need you to behave and take it easy

Grabbing both sides of his black scarf, she pulled him close to her face.

And yes I’m the baddest

Yes I’m a bad girl

But I ain’t your baby, you gotta earn that

They both turned to the camera, placing one of their hands in front of it to block it. She and the members rushed over to the next spot and she stood in front of them. Rocking forward and back, she waved, dancing the choreography.

Hello hello, hello hello, I’ll tell you what I want right now

Hello hello hello hello, I ain’t givin’ it to you right now.

I’m the best and I know it but I’m not yours.

I make your body twist and turn when you in front of me.

Grabbing onto her hand, Jimin tried to kiss it but she pulled away.

nege dagaseogo sipjiman neomu simhage areumdawo

yeojaneun choegoui

seonmuriya seonmuriya

V tried to approach her again but she rolled her eyes and pushed him away.

jinjja nae sowoneun

neoppuniya neoppuniya

nan neoramyeon I’m ok

Oh jajega andwae maeil

aptaedo choego dwitaedo choego

meoributeo balkkeutkkaji choego choego

La la la la la la la la la

aptaedo choego dwitaedo choego

La la la la la la la la la

meoributeo balkkeutkkaji choego choego

Shaking her butt, she grabbed V’s hand before he could smack it. Then she headed inside the building that the model walked into. After filming, everyone checked out the finished product with bright grins on their faces.

“I think we did a great job!” Rap Monster said to the camera. “However, if Jimin says, ‘Hey...I did something wrong.” That’ll make me feel nervous.”

“Oh dear.” Cringing at the scenario, Jen grabbed onto Jimin’s arm. “Jimin, you’re fine, right?”

Turning to them, Jimin joked, “I did something wrong.”

“NO~!” She shouted while Rapmon grabbed onto him.

------

The next day, after a short and sweet dance practice to clean up the War of Hormone dance, Jennie sat against the mirror, creating her new Instagram account. Placing one of her war of hormone concept photos as her profile picture, she named her account, JJenniee_JW

After following people like the members of Girl's Generation, 4Minute, Jay Park, EXO, 2NE1, Big Bang and her sisters, she posted a photo of herself smiling, with the caption, ‘Long time no see. I’m doing well! I missed you, all!’

She also posted her Instagram link on the BTS Twitter account, so the fans can be aware. Immediately, comments floated in like crazy, along with new followers.

‘WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?’

‘FINALLY!’

‘Yes! You made one!! I hope the other members make one, too!’

‘JENNIE!’

“Munchkin made a new insta!’

“YOU’RE ALIVE!”

“MISS BANGTAN~~”

‘Tell BTS I said hi!’

‘WHERE ARE YOU!?’

‘I HEARD YOU ARE IN A KPOP GROUP! YOU LOOK GREAT!’

‘@ItzAngelinaa SHE MADE A NEW INSTA!’

'@ItzAngelinaa SHES STILL ALIVE!’

As she read the profile name, she smiled and immediately followed Angelina on Instagram, checking out her photos. She looked so happy, and even her hair was back to black. Not even a minute passed when Angelina commented on her photo

‘Hey stranger...DM me ;)’

After getting her number, they FaceTime each other as Jen put on her earbuds to speak with her.

“Long time no see, you bitch!” She heard Angelina shout. Jennie let out a laugh at her enthusiasm.

It’s been far too long. She missed this. She missed her. But guilt began to be on her mind because she didn’t stay in touch. 

What kind of friend is that?

“Jennie! Where have you been?! I’ve been worried about you! And now I hear you migrated to South Korea! K-Pop?! You were in LA for a show with your boys? You’ve been winning awards with them? Music videos!? GIRL! I want details! Now! I missed you! Why didn’t you keep in touch?” Angelina ranted as she started to tear up. “I’ve been worried sick about you! I thought you were pissed off at me for something. You legit fell off the face of the earth!”

Jen’s eyes began to sting as hot tears began to form in her eyes, as she couldn’t escape the shame. “I’m sorry...I should’ve kept in touch. Everything was so overwhelming. I’m sorry, no excuses. I’m a shitty friend, aren’t I?”

With a teasing smile, Angelina requested, “Well...if you treat me to a big dinner, I’ll forgive you.”

“Deal!”

“Good. But don’t think I’m mad at you, JW. Leaving Amity took a toll on you. I understand you needed time for yourself. I’m just glad you’re happy. You look different. You’re glowing.”

“Thanks, girl! You’re glowing, too. Before we get to me, what’s going on with you? Still with Amity? Still rapping, right?”

Letting out a snort, She bluntly replied, “Oh, I left the group.”

Genuinely surprised at the sudden statement, Jennie asked a simple, “What?”

“Yeah, I actually left them a little after you did. I signed up for a new label. Went solo. I’m with Colombian Records. Been doing great, I’ve been collabing with bunches of artists. Nicki Minaj is hopefully next on the list.”

“R-really!? Wow! I’m so happy for you! I remember how much you told me you wanted to collaborate with a bunch of people. So, what happened?”

“What didn’t happen? Ugh, Hailey was pissing me off. As soon as you left, she wanted to try to stop me from doing new things. That bitch tried it. I dunno why she doesn’t just leave the group, instead.”

Frowning, Jennie shook her head. “She just wants followers...people to boss around. That’s not a leader. Hey, let me listen to your music! I can buy it off iTunes, right?”

“Yep! Tell me what you think, when you listen. I’ll even let you listen to my new work! And I hope you know that you and I are going to be doing music together. No ifs, ands, or buts. I will fly over to Korea, to see your ass. And I will find a way to book a flight for you to come see me, I don’t even care about your schedule, we’ll make it work, missy!”

“Haha, I’d like that. So how is Amity doing anyway?”

Angelina let out a sigh. “The three girls can have their girl group. They’re getting more popular. But it’s for the best.”

“I encountered Hailey in LA...”

“What did she do?” Her voice got angrier.

“Interrupted my breakfast with my leader, and threw a drink at my face.”

“That bitch did what?! Did you hit her? Please tell me you hit her! Damn, I wish I was there! Like no, who throws a drink at someone? That’s some weak shit.”

“I got held back and she hid behind her security. And as much as I really wanted to smack her, I’m representing BTS, I need to not do anything too crazy.”

“Ha! I can’t believe this girl...She’s a whiny little brat, she would probably threaten the sue since she can’t fight her battles. But I’m impressed with how you’re maturing. You’re being the bigger person. Honestly, she’s not worth it. But to me, she is, because I really hate her guts. I got into a physical altercation with her.”

“WHAT!? ANGIE!”

Jennie’s sudden shout, made the guys turn around. She grinned sheepishly, waving their amused stares away.

“Hahah, don’t worry, I didn’t go to jail. Thankfully...”

“Oh god, what did you do?!”

“She hit me first, okay!? Remember that! That was also one of the main reasons I left. She got pissy with me because I called her out on her bullshit and then she got in my face. Need I remind you that I don’t like it when people are in my face? So then, she shoves me.”

“Oh...so that’s how we’re doing things?”

“I know right? It was a wrap after that. It’s on World Star. I’ll send you the link.”

“Angelina!” She sputtered. “Why is it that I miss the good stuff when I’m not around? Jeesh!” 

Angelina laughed wholeheartedly. “Hey, you know I have a temper. I just regret getting grabbed by security so damn quick...ugh, I could’ve ripped the hair off her. You know she got plastic surgery, right?”

“I thought she looked different. She didn’t need it though.”

“Welp. I may had something to do with that because I ruined her face. I was let off the hook because I had to pay for all her damn plastic security. Waste of money, I could’ve donated it to the animal shelter.” She ranted.

Jennie smiled when she mentioned an animal shelter. Angelina always had a soft spot for animals underneath her strong image.

“But anyway, I wanna see you! When can you come to America? Or better yet, I’ll make my way to South Korea to see you! Show me around, and let me know how their food is. Remember, you’re treating me to a big dinner, so prepare your wallet!”

“Hahah, you and your eating habits. I’m promoting the new album that BTS just released. So, we’re going to be busy. I can’t have my singing exhibit this year either because of our tight schedule. But I’m planning the next one early for 2015, so I’m looking forward to that.”

“Ah, it’s cool. We’ll see each other, soon! By the way, are you dating one of the members?”

“Yo, why is everyone asking me this? First, it's ARMYs after I clearly stated multiple times that we’re all friends, then it’s my sisters, and now it’s you!”

“Haha, well are you sure? Because you and the guy with the black hair are always together. You sure?” She teased.

Knowing who she was talking about, she shook her head. “We’re best friends.”

“Hm. Yeah...that’s what they all say.” She muttered in a sarcastic tone, not impressed at her excuse.

“I’m serious! We’re all too busy to date, right now, anyway. Plus, I want to wait until I’m older.”

“Hm, maybe it’s because of your chemistry with him. It’s cute. Make sure you introduce me to the guys! I want to meet the leader. He’s sexy.”

Jennie groaned at her statement. “Oh God...”

After catching up, Jen packed up her bag after she and the members were told that they could leave.

“Jennifer. Jungkook. Could you two stay for a moment?” Mr. Son called them out. The two teens stand before him, awaiting what his request was.

Mr. Son glanced at the two of them and nodded to himself. “All right, as you know, War of Hormone is going to have various choreography changes and you guys are going to have fun with it. But I was thinking, for one of the choreography changes, you two can dance together. Will you two be okay with that?”

Jennie and Jungkook glance at each other and smile. “Yeah, sure. What do you want us to do?” She asked.

Dancing was always important between them. They both took it seriously, making sure their performances on stage were topnotch. With their minds on work and no play, they listened to what their dance teacher had to say.

“I believe you and Jungkook can pull this off. I have some ideas in mind as I’m listening to the lyrics, especially your verse. There’s a lot of things I want to work on.”

“Anything specific?”

“Jungkook, I want you to make sure you work on your facial expressions. The song is War of Hormone. She’s a beautiful young lady and you really want her.”

Nodding, taking mental notes, Jungkook said, “Understood.”

“Oh, okay, so basically you want him to look at me with want on stage? How the song is supposed to be? Like they guys did in the music video?” Jennie asked, getting the picture.

Mr. Son nodded. “Now you two are teens, your hormones probably have gone crazy, I’m sure.” He turned to Jennie. “What I want you to work on and to keep in mind is to act hard to get. Do not let this handsome young man woo you on stage when you perform.” He warned. “It’ll defeat the purpose of your verse. Jungkook, he’s beginning to woo a lot of ladies. Try your best to not get added to the charmed list.”

Waving his warning away, she nodded at his request. “I’ll be fine, on stage.”

“Be careful.” She heard Jungkook playfully warn. 

She playfully punched him on the arm. “Please, it won’t be that hard to resist you on stage.”

“We’ll see.” He raised a brow in a teasing manner.

“Oh boy, what have I started?” Mr. Son let out a deep chuckle at their funny banter. “Jennie, I also want you to flirt with the camera. I need you to act very sexy for this concept. Sexier than the music video. Your stage presence needs to be strong for this.”

“I won’t let you down.”

“All right, think about what I said to you two. I’ll see you guys in the morning to practice what I’m thinking of.”

--------

A few days later, Jennie met Jungkook in the dance studio.

“Sorry, I’m late!”

Hearing a calm voice, Jungkook’s eyes lit up when he detected Jennie walking into the dance studio.

“There you are, I thought Jimin was going to keep you, forever.” He lets out a laugh.

“You know how he is. He asked me to eat lunch at the last minute when he knew I was meeting with you. He’s silly.” She set her bag down and plugged her phone into the stereo.

“He did it on purpose...” He grumbled under his breath, making a mental note to beat him up, later.

“I hope I didn’t make you wait too long.”

“Nah, I don’t mind waiting for you.” He responded in a soft tone.

Smiling apologetically, she replied, “I’ll try not to make it a habit.”

Walking to the middle of the studio, she began to stretch out her limbs. Already stretched out, Jungkook opened her phone and began to take photos of himself making derp faces. After he was done, he placed one of his derp photos on her lock screen.

“I’m afraid to see what you just did to my phone.” He heard her sigh. Letting out a laugh, he showed her the new and ‘improved’ lock screen “...Really?” She deadpanned as she stood up.

“Just trying to make you feel comfortable.”

Comfortable.

Was her nervous demeanor that obvious since they started learning the dance?

“Don’t get me wrong, I am comfortable. I’m comfortable with you. It’s just that I’ve never danced like this before. And with a guy so close. Sorry, I’m taking a while to get it.” She let out a disappointed sigh.

Recently, Mr.Son had a female dance partner with him, to demonstrate what he wanted Jen and Jungkook to do for War of Hormone. And when Jen watched with nervousness at how close they were, doubts filled her head.

How was she going to pull it off? Make it look real if she had never done anything like this before.

But with Jungkook, he seemed at ease as he analyzed the dance, making sure he could better himself and be good enough to perform it for the crowd.

Part of her wanted to just chicken out. Maybe they should just do something else instead. But another part of her wanted to dance with him. It was Jungkook. If he was comfortable with her, she should be, too.

“I think I know how to make you feel more comfortable.” 

Her thoughts were interrupted by his statement.

“I see that you’re still nervous but it’s okay. I’ll loosen you up. Jennie, I want you to be comfortable in your dancing and when you’re dancing with me. So, before we go over the dance, I want us to try different songs to dance to, so you can get into the feel and loosen up. Do you have any suggestions?”

“Yeah, I have a few songs.” She grabbed her phone from him.

Flipping through her song list, she tried to pick out certain songs that had a certain rhythm. Deciding to put on Body Party by Ciara, the sultry melody filled the room.

“Okay, this seems like a good song to get into the feels for dancing close. Ah, but I wanted the instrumental. These lyrics are too sexy...” She murmured in English as she tried to search for it on YouTube.

‘My body is your party, baby’

“Oh dear.” She mumbled in embarrassment, at the lyrics. All she wanted was the music, not the lyrics. Letting out a sigh in defeat, she put her hair in a bun. “This’ll have to do, I can’t find it.”

Meanwhile, Jungkook listened to the beat, thinking it was a good song to dance close to because of the music.

‘I hope he’s not uncomfortable.’ She thought as she turned to him. “I’m sorry, do you want me to change the song? Are you uncomfortable or anything?”

Shaking his head, he gestured for her to continue what she was doing. “Nah, keep it. Dance for me.”

“Come again?”

Smiling, he leaned up against the wall. In his work mode, he seriously stated, “Dance for me. I want to see how you’re moving so I can help you.”

Nodding curtly, she walked to the middle of the room. Freestyling as she danced and body rolled on beat, Jungkook carefully analyzed her movements with his arms crossed.

“Ah, you’re still stiff.” He pointed out.

Stopping her movement, she let out a sigh, turning back to him. “Really? I don’t feel stiff.”

“You’re overthinking it. I can see it by the way you’re moving. Try doing it like this.”

He got off the wall and effortlessly did the same movements she did but in a stronger manner, making the movements pop.

“I think I might have it.” She turned back to the mirror, attempting to mirror what he just did, but failed. Annoyed at herself, she let out a frustrated sigh.

“It’s okay!” He chuckled softly. “You’re going to get it.”

“Can you guide me, please?”

With a curt nod, he got behind her, gently placing his warm hands on her hips. She could feel her ear getting tickled when his warm breath hit her ear. Out of habit, she tensed up, feeling her stomach flip.

“Follow me.” He said as they swayed to the beat. His hands moved her hips to guide her. “Make the movements slower and more powerful.”

Stiffening again, she murmured out a “Sorry.” as another chuckle escaped him. 

Who knew she would get nervous around him?

Feeling his chest against her back, he pulled her close while firmly holding on to her hips, getting a more intimate feeling for the dance. Her body began to heat up from the foreign contact as she let out a hitched breath.

Was this supposed to happen?

Was she supposed to feel this way?

Do all dancers feel nervous when it’s their first time dancing close to someone?

“Relax, Jennie, it’s just me.” He murmured in her ear.

Relax?

Easier said than done.

But it was something about him that made her begin to feel at ease.

She thought about how he danced. He was so passionate. She knew what she was missing. It was the passion. He was right, she was overthinking it.

Relaxing her body, just like he said, her movements met his, in sync with the beat. As the song progressed, her movements were more fluid and stronger.

“There you go.” He saw a difference as they continued to move together.

“Aye! I’m getting it!” She happily said.

“I never doubted you.”

As soon as the song fades out, Chris Brown's Wall to Wall blared out of the speakers, boosting up her mood even more.

“Aye~” She shouted as she started jamming to the song. 

Jungkook let out a loud laugh, watching her dance around the room. 

It was cute.

“We’ll practice after this song! Dance with me, come on! It’s Chris Brown for goodness sake!” He heard her say over the music. Next thing he knew, his wrist was grabbed by her as she freestyled with him.

After the song ended, she finally put on War of Hormone.

With her nervousness gone, she confidently requested. “All right, back to business. Let’s go all out like we’re on stage. So, use your stage persona.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, do whatever. No holding back. Let’s perform like we’re performing on a music show.” She waved his warning away.

Watching Jungkook dance full out, inspired her. He was so good. He wasn’t called the Golden Maknae for nothing. Once it was her cue, she strutted to the front, putting a fist near her mouth, imitating a mic.

Touching the side of her head before lifting up her right knee, and tapping the side of her shoe, she lipsynced, “I know I’m the best, from head to toe. It’s completely ridiculous if you think I don’t know. My hair. My body. My waist and legs."

Turning her head back she saw Jungkook while ‘It’s okay to stare, I know that I look good’ was heard, she widened her eyes and quickly turned back around when she caught him biting his lip with a smirk across his face.

‘Jesus...his stage persona is no joke. I hope he didn’t peep that. Please don’t tell me he peeped that.’ She thought as she tried to remain focused.

Yes, I see you starin’ hard

Caught you off guard

I see you droolin’

Who are you foolin’?

“I saw that...”

She froze when she heard him whisper in her ear, teasingly. Looks like he noticed her breaking character because she was shocked at his intense expression change.

“Damn it!” She whined while he let out a laugh, pausing the song on her phone. “I’m sorry, I’m just not used to being stared at like that.”

“You’ll get used to it.”

“Will I?”

Walking up to her, his brown irises met hers as he looked down at her. “Are you nervous?”

“Not yet.”

“Good. Don’t be. Don’t look at anything else but me.”

Holding his strong gaze as he requested, she noticed some strands of his hair sticking to his forehead. His warm eyes watched her as she remained calm.

“Say your verse. And don’t take your eyes off me. If you avert your eyes, we’re starting from the beginning. And no matter what I do, don’t take your eyes off me.”

It looked like he was going to help her with her eye contact. Making facial expressions and doing gestures he would do on stage.

Was she in trouble?

“I know I’m the best from head to toe. It’s completely ridiculous if you think I don’t know," she spoke as she held his intense gaze. But she couldn't help but notice him getting closer and closer. "My..." she trailed off and looked away.

Letting out another chuckle, he took a few steps back. "Again,"

She restarted the song and repeated her lyrics, getting further this time, "My hair. My body. My waist and legs. It's okay to stare, I know that I look good,"

He started leaning forward while she leaned back, not expecting the sudden closeness. She took a step back as she continued, "Yea, I see you starin' hard," 

"Where you going?" he pulled her back forward by wrapping an arm around her waist, pulling her into his chest and she immediately folded, covering her face and looking away as he laughed again. 

Starting over again, she continued with no issues, "It’s okay to stare, I know that I look good. Yea, I see you starin’ hard. Caught you off guard. I see you..." she trailed off and looked away when he smirked and raised an eyebrow.

This was going to be hard. His charisma was impeccable.

"You see me what?" he teased. "Didn't you say it wouldn't be that hard to resist me? You're failing, Miss Bangtan. Try again,"

Jennie shushed him and got back in position. She'll get it...eventually.

Starting again, she went on, “I see you droolin’. Who are you foolin’? Sucks to know it won’t be easy to tempt me.” 

Watching him raise a brow as a smirk came across his face, she remained unfazed, keeping eye contact.

“You and I both know that I’m driving you crazy. Those sexy smirks and lip bites clearly show how much you’re yearning.”

Feeling bold, she placed a hand in his dark locks and moved it down to caress his face. Jungkook reacted by grabbing her hand and placing it on his chest before moving it down his torso.

"Jungkook!" she exclaimed, feeling her face heat up as she averted her eyes and backed away.

"Try again," he looked at her, amused. "You're getting better,"

"Yeah, but a warning would have been nice!"

"That defeats the purpose, Miss Bangtan,"

'This guy...' she thought as she restarted the song again and got in position. As she said her verse, Jungkook ended up pressing his forehead against hers, slowly moving her backward while she managed to keep going.

'Don't look away. Don't look away. You got this.' she thought.

"Don’t try to hide it, I see your body twistin’ and turning. You call me an equation and say you can just do me. But we both know you’re the one dreaming and wishing you could touch me.” she removed her forehead from his and lightly pushed him back.

Tilting her head to the side, she mirrored the smirk on his face as she walked back and he followed. “I could turn you into a man. But you can’t handle this. And yes, I'm the baddest."

He pulled her back into his arms as he held her. She kept her eye contact with him but the lyrics were forgotten. Both remaining silent, they held each other’s gaze. It was something about the way he was looking at her, that made her go silent as the music continued to play in the background.

“I messed up.” She finally spoke up, with the song way past her verse.

“Sorry, I didn’t notice. Let’s start again.” He let her go, broke eye contact, and went back to his starting position.

Before they could start, her phone started to ring. Walking over to it, she answered it. “Yes, mom?” she teased as she answered Jin's call.

“Sweetie, when are you and Jungkookie coming back? I’m making dinner, soon,”

“We’re at the dance studio, cleaning up the War of Hormone dance. We’ll be back at the dorms, soon! It won’t take much longer.”

Not thinking much about it, Jin said okay and they said their goodbyes.

“Sorry about that. Mama Jin is wondering where his babies are.” She joked, earning a soft laugh from Jungkook. “Want to start again?”

“Yeah. You're doing good improvisation as we keep doing this. Keep that in mind. Since we can do different things during the choreography, use those improvising skills of yours.”

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Make those sexy expressions?”

“Because I’m the Golden Maknae?” He grinned.

“Never mind, you big bunny.” 

“Let it come naturally. Just don’t overthink it. That’s your habit that I’m trying to make you break out of. You’re doing well, so far. Keep going.”

Nodding at his words, she started her verse again, successfully. Grabbing onto his white shirt, she pulled him close to her face as he grinned at her.

“And yes I’m the baddest. Yes, I’m a bad girl. But I ain’t your baby, you gotta earn that.” Shoving him away, she happily shouted, “I did it!”

“There you go! Strong contact. You’re learning fast. Let’s continue working on the dance.” He replayed the song and got back in formation.

Practicing the routine multiple times, each time Jungkook would restart the song if she messed up. He was patient and helped her with her facial expressions. She felt comfortable around him. And before they both knew it, they noticed how strong their chemistry was when they danced.

“Let’s do it one more time, full out. Then we’ll head back to the dorm.” He requested.

“Let’s go!” She gestured for him to replay the song.

After Namjoon’s verse, Jungkook smoothly came up next to her with a big grin on his face.

jakkuman nuni doragane yeojadeurui bae (Yup)

yeojadeureun bangjeongsik uri namjadeureun hae (Yup)

ttam ppilppil gwaenhi bilbildaege dwae

deo manhi jom sineojwo haihilhil

As she was in front of him, the both of them hopped forward and did the same on the other side.

nado yeollyeodeorp al geon da areo

yeojaga segye choegoran geot mariyeo

Placing a hand on his chest, he turned his attention to her. She brushed him off, while he lip synced,

Yes I’m a bad boy so i like bad girl

illu wabwa baby urin jal doel geol

After the chorus, she strutted forward while Jungkook was near the back of the dance studio, watching her.

I know I’m the best, from head to toe

it’s completely ridiculous if you think I don’t know

My hair

My body

My waist and legs

It’s okay to stare, I know that I look good

Turning her head back to see Jungkook watching her, biting his lip seductively once again, she remained relaxed, waving his looks away.

Yes, I see you starin’ hard

Caught you off guard

I see you droolin’

Who are you foolin’

Turning back around, she continued to lipsync her verse while Jungkook slowly made his way over to her. With a hand on her hip, she ignored his attempts to flirt as he tried to get closer.

Sucks to know it won’t be easy to tempt me

You and I both know that I’m driving you crazy

As she continued to lip sync, Jen body rolled with him mirroring her movements from behind. Placing his hands on her hips he grabbed her back as they effortlessly moved together, in sync.

Those sexy smirks and lip bites clearly show how much you’re yearning

Don’t try to hide it, I see your body twistin’ and turnin’

Escaping his arms, she turned around and grabbed him by his shirt, walking forward as he walked back.

You call me an equation and say you can just do me

But we both know you’re the one dreaming and wishing you could touch me

Letting out a laugh when he suddenly wrapped his strong arms around her waist, from behind, she held onto his arms, giggling out a, “Behave!”

Letting out a laugh himself, he released her as they both got serious again. He moved her body with his in sync with the beat as she continued her verse. She got used to the feeling as their motions were on beat and full out. She turned around and grabbed him by the collar, getting up close and personal.

And yes I’m the baddest

Yes I’m a bad girl

But I ain’t your baby, you gotta earn that

Deciding to kiss his cheek instead of shoving him away this time, he smiled brightly at the unexpected kiss and then got in position with her to dance the chorus.

Hello hello, hello hello, I’ll tell you what I want right now

Hello hello hello hello, I ain’t givin’ it to you right now.

I’m the best and I know it but I’m not yours.

I make your body twist and turn when you in front of me.

nege dagaseogo sipjiman neomu simhage areumdawo

yeojaneun choegoui

seonmuriya seonmuriya

jinjja nae sowoneun

neoppuniya neoppuniya

Approaching her once again, he grabbed her hand, smiling down at her as he gently lifted up her chin.

nan neoramyeon I’m ok

Oh jajega andwae maeil

aptaedo choego dwitaedo choego

meoributeo balkkeutkkaji choego choego

After the successful dance practice, she chugged down the rest of her water. Taking out a small towel, she kneeled in front of Jungkook, who sat against the wall. Handing him the towel, he dried off the perspiration on his face, messing up his hair.

Feeling her hand run against his damp black hair, attempting to fix it, his eyes lingered on her, as a soft smile came across his lips. He lowkey liked the feeling of her hands in his hair.

Jennie laughed nervously. “Sorry, I think I made your hair worse.”

“It’s okay. You can mess it up and style it how you like.”

“Hm, I’ll keep that in mind.”

They sit next to each other, resting their bodies.

“How do you feel?” He asked her.

“Much better, thanks to you.”

“Good to know.”

“I don’t want to come off as sounding too crazy but I’ll just come out and say what’s on my mind.” She spoke up, making him turn his head to her. “Jungkook, I admire your stage persona. I like how fierce you are on stage, and how you’re a sweetheart off stage. You inspire me. More ways than you think. Thank you for being so patient with me, today. I’ll work hard.”

“Anytime, baby girl.” He smiled softly. After he realized what he just said, he quickly stood up, letting out a couple of fake coughs. “My parents thought I was going to be a baby girl. That’s what I said.”

Laughing wholeheartedly at his statement, she questioned him. “Wait, what did you just call me?”

“N-nothing! Forget about it.”

“No, repeat what you just said.” She got on her feet.

Reluctantly facing her as his face heated up, he repeated what he said. “I called you baby girl.”

‘She’s going to kill me.’ He thought with a groan. ‘I just had to speak. I ruined everything.’

“Babygirl, huh? I like it. Keep calling me that. It’s cute.”

Her statement caught him by surprise as he watched her pack up.

Sighing out of relief, he replied, “All right, I will. I also wanted to let you know that I can continue helping you with our dances. Unless you want Hobi to then that’s fine or-Jimin or even-“

His ramblings were cut off by her light chuckle as they started walking out of the room with her walking a little bit ahead. She spoke out loud, not expecting an answer, “First, you’re my personal trainer in the gym, now you’re my dance instructor? What else do you want to be for me?” 

Smiling shyly to the floor, he mumbled something under his breath as his heart fluttered.

Hopefully your boyfriend one day...

[furtiveseal]

I've been thinking about the way different games handle their objectives and win conditions.

Straight deathmatch style games exist, but they're only really the norm in specific genres (like fighting games or card games). Most games have fighting and/or killing the opponent as a core part of the gameplay loop, but that will often not be the primary goal because it makes gameplay too flat.

MOBAs ask that you destroy the enemy base and doing so requires that you fight and kill the enemy team, but there's not a direct correlation between you killing the enemy laner and the enemy nexus (or core or whatever I've only played League and HotS leave me alone) losing health, and that means there can be more depth with the way the map opens as turrets fall, changing the dynamics of specific areas from safe zones to places where you might get attacked at any point.

FPSs like Overwatch (look I got motion sickness halfway through my teenage years so I really only got to play a bit of Overwatch and like 20 hours of Apex leave me alone) need to give an objective for both teams to play and strategize around: what are the good spots you want to control around the objective? Where is cover situated? Are there any flank routes we or the opponents might try to use? And if you're on a map that uses a payload, the answer to these questions are constantly shifting as it progresses through the map, which makes for a much more engaging gameplay experience than just seeing which team can get to 100 kills faster or whatever.

This is also true outside of video games. In Warhammer 40k (haven't played another wargame yet and I am pretty rusty about the rules but the gist of it should remain), wiping out the enemy army does not give you an automatic victory: you have to score victory points by capturing objectives on the map and fulfilling specific objectives you chose before the game, like saying "I'm gonna kill these specific guys" from your opponent's army and getting points when you actually meet that objective. Again, it adds depth that simply would not be there if it was just about killing the opponent first: long range armies would have no incentive to just stay in cover and shoot the opponent from afar for five turns, which isn't exactly engaging. picking Tau was a mistake on my part

I've found that TTRPG combat can also fall flat when it's just about killing the other guys, especially since TTRPGs are uniquely equipped to implement objectives seeing as your characters are actively existing in a plausible fictional world: you should be able to negotiate, enemies should try to run away instead of always fighting to the death, and heck, maybe you're fighting over a McGuffin and the fight can go from "Killing everyone to get your hands on it" to "Okay I grabbed the thing everyone cover me while I get the fuck out of there".

Lancer, for instance, has a large focused on tactical combat which means its fights should have more decision points that would make them more engaging, but even despite this the core rulebook explicitly states that missions should not be straight deathmatches and instead offer interesting objectives which are mostly reminiscent of FPS objectives: take and hold a point, push a payload an important item to an extraction zone, find which of the objectives actually matter and take it before the enemies can, etc.

Something I am not sure about though is why we rarely seem able to come up with objectives that aren't "This area of the map is important so you have to control it to win". Putting important stuff somewhere will always cause fights (like in Battle Royales where the places with good loot will attract many players who will immediately start attacking each other, or the League or HotS objectives which are basically neatly packaged teamfight generators), but it feels like we should be able to find other ways to create more interesting and dynamic scenarios.

It's also worth noting that the only genres that ARE straight deathmatches in my experience, fighting games and card games, are usually 1v1 and have a core gameplay that concentrates the whole depth of the game. In a fighting game, learning your character's toolset and their matchups to continually get better IS the game. In a card game, learning about all the cards you're likely to encounter, how to pilot your deck, and how to play in each matchup is also something with enough nuance and decision-making points that you don't really need anything other than an opponent.

[flaringfoxsoul03]

@pastelsnake420 asked me this:

My names snakey, ENFP Gemini and I identify as a somewhat female who uses she/they pronouns! I’d describe myself as someone who’s pretty chill and go with the flow combined with strong morals however I can be stubborn and direct when needed to be. I have been told that I appear confident however once you get to know me anxiety will roll out. My greatest compliment that I’ve ever received is that Im funny and I enjoy making others laugh and seeing them smile BUT I am sensitive and can be a bit moody here and there. Despite being a bit of a clown, I enjoy deep conservations that range from anything to everything. I study sociology and I adore discussing our world around us and the possibilities that we could all achieve! I’m a bit of an idealist who just wants everyone to be kind and happy. My hobbies include listening to music and playing the kalimba (somewhat alright), I enjoy video games and all things imaginative! I DESPISE maths with an absolute passion (I suffer from dyscalculia sadly) and I will talk badly about it at any moment I’m given. I would say that I’m very affectionate once I get to know someone and will be extremely loyal. My humour is a fine line between irony and sarcasm however I would say I’m good at picking up on social cues if someone isn’t in the mood to do so.

Overall I’m basically the cool mad aunt/mother of a friend group.

Thank you!!! Hope you’re doing well 💚

Oh sorry I forgot to say I’d like an obey me match up

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Awwww, thank you Snakey 💚, and I am having the hardest decision to make here. You are such a lovable person, who would want to resist you?~

Also, I’m so sorry this took so long to come out, I hope you’ll forgive me for taking a while.

Warning: Anxiety

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I match you with…

Satan!

————————————

Definition of near perfection, Satan is your match. He’s just the right level of energy for you. Not what you were expecting? I figured, but let me break it down for you why I think he’s your special demon~

He studies you like another research paper he’s doing for class because you’re almost the definition of an oxymoron for him, confident and mature but when he takes a closer inspection, he sees all the anxiety you bottle up away from him and all of his brothers. He sees you switch from one mood to another as soon as his brothers get what they want out of you. It pisses him off how much you choose to act rather than ask for space when you really just need a breather from responsibilities. Sounds like someone else we all know too well~

He takes advantage of this desire of yours to do what each of the brothers wish and take you away to a cat cafe. A place to relax and not make it totally about him, legit strategic thinking! Give him a chance to pick your brain while he occupies it with cats, drinks, food, and books. If you pick up on what he’s doing, start talking about what makes you. He’s genuinely curious to know what kind of a person you are, much less about your race and how your peoples are different from each other

This is where he starts to fall HARD for you. You talking about your own personal studies, especially sociology, gives him such intellectual conversation with you he literally forgets where the time has gone. He loves that you’re really smart and on top of that, you can play an unique instrument! He’s only ever seen kalimbas in museums and the occasional concert, he does have connections if you ever want to improve your skills with other demonic professionals

Would love to hear you talk mad shit, even if it’s just math. He’s probably figured out you have a disability even before you remember to mention it to him. You’re literally way too nice to everyone but yourself, he loves this refresher that you can and will talk big smack. Even better, through all your complaints, helps you with anything math work that’s assigned in school. He may not know what it’s like to have a disability that’s recognized as such, but he wants to be there to support you while you’re the one supporting all of his brothers and an entire exchange program on top of that. Plus, he can be quite convincing to have you join in on his pranks on Lucifer with Belphie tagging along (more like make sure it’s not deadly, but same thing, right?)

Later down the line when you get to know the brothers better (think like when they all made a mess at the carnival restaurant because Beelzebub tried to eat the place out of business) Satan gets a taste of your wrath in your commanding presence. Sure, he’s not thrilled he was part of the problem and had to suffer the consequences of almost destroying a restaurant, but you finally took control like a master should. Lowkey, he thinks it’s super hot. You should try being in more control when his brothers try to drag you around to things. But does in fact apologize to you personally after the whole incident when he gets a moment with you alone, that was uncalled for. But does mention you should be happy you put them in their place, it was a dire situation

Satan also puts in his best effort to help you when things get to be too much to be that commandeering person you need to be sometimes. He finds this out as he’s making his apologies to you for the incident I previously mention as you finally break down openly in front of him for the first time. He blanks for a second as the water works force their way up to the surface, but the next thing you know, he’s leading you to your bed and trying to get you to let it all out. It must be tough, but Satan loves that you finally can rely on him as someone you can trust when you need the extra help. He likes being that rock for you to hold on to when you feel like you just can’t fight the current anymore. He wants to so desperately help you in anyway you can, but he slowly calms you down first and asks if you can explain how it all led up to the break down and see if he can help you more than he is now. Literally definition of the supporting role for characters in his many books

You have so. many. inside. jokes. It’s kinda insane how many of them you guys can make in a singular day. One time, Belphie suggested to the two of you to make as many inside jokes you could before the end of the day. You and Satan did so many, that Lucifer tried to punish you both, but literally couldn’t find a justification in how he could make a punishment without causing another stupid fight. You both also turned that into an inside joke. Belphie said he lost count around 69 or so, but I bet that made the inside joke count even higher~

Enjoys the affection you often give after you get to know each other better, because even as eloquent words escape his mouth, sometimes he prefers to be more direct in his approach to have you know just how much he loves you~. Even the platonic side of it is just so domestic that it sends Satan’s heart to do flips as he pretends that nothing is wrong while you’re so close to his heart~

Loves how your creativity comes out in the wackiest ways possible. Like that one time you threw glitter everywhere outside in the garden onto a glue covered canvas and somehow made a random galaxy out of it. Not sure how that happened until he got there during the halfway mark, but it simply makes him giggle to himself. He will absolutely ask to see how you would make cat art if you choose to do so, which that turned into a Project Kitty Keychain. That was basically learning how to make pins to hook to a keychain, but add your little spin to it. He treasures this in many spells made to protect the keychain from wear and tear, he did the same to your copy(cat) too

=================

The follow ups are:

Lucifer

And

Solomon

————————————

That’s it folks! Until next time!

~ Fox

[adamwatchesmovies]

Edge of Tomorrow (2014)

There have been some successful video-game-to-movie adaptations made here and there. Out of all of them, Edge of Tomorrow is the best… even though it isn’t actually based on a game. It’s hard to explain but you’ll see what I mean if you read on.

After an arduous struggle against alien invaders called Mimics, mankind has finally managed to hold their advance and now, we’re getting ready to counter-attack. When Major William Cage (Tom Cruise) is ordered to head into battle by his superiors, he tries to unsuccessfully blackmail his way out of combat, is knocked unconscious and sent to the front lines as punishment. The campaign is a disaster. Within minutes, everyone, including Cage, is dead. That’s when he wakes up. Something happened to him and now he relives that attack over and over.

Based on the Japanese novel All You Need is Kill (which is actually a much better title), this movie takes you by surprise. I had to spoil the premise to get you intrigued, but if you didn’t know, you’d be scratching your head from the beginning. Tom Cruise playing a coward who gets bumped off minutes in? Even when he wakes up alive again, he’s still a wimp who desperately wants to avoid the battlefield. Didn’t see that coming. What follows is a hybrid of Starship Troopers and Groundhog Day. Like in a video game, everyone - Mimic and human alike - ends up at the same spot, does the same thing, and has the same lines to say unless Cage does something to move them. This allows him to strategize and through trial and error, become impossibly skilled. This means you’ll get many hilarious scenes as he tries to get to that one place at the right time… only to fail and die horribly. You’ll also see mind-blowing sequences in which he effortlessly blows legions of opponents away, firing behind him in exactly the right spot to ensure a kill shot and dodging projectiles like he’s got eyes on the back of his head.

The time loop mechanic is just one aspect of the film. The truth is, no matter how good you are at firing a gun, you’ll eventually run out of bullets. A single man could never take down an entire invasion on his own. As we get deeper into the plot, we move away from the chaos of the war zone and towards the big question. Why is this happening? How does Cage break the loop? The answers lie in Sergeant Rita Vrataski, the “Full Metal Bitch” (Emily Blunt). She’s the opposite of Cage. Cool, collected, brave and highly skilled. Too bad the time power thing was given to the slimy noodle instead of her…

Edge of Tomorrow is a blast. It’s laugh-out-loud funny, and then it switches into action mode. The battles are the kind that makes other films look wimpy by comparison. Not only are the actors doing their own stunts but all of the combat is creative and expertly directed. We get plenty of satisfying character moments and growth, which is expected in this type of film, but the way the screenplay by Christopher McQuarrie, Jez Butterworth and John-Henry Butterworth does it is unexpected. A large chunk of the film is about two people, one of which can change, and the other cannot, at least not in the same way.

The plot moves quickly, there are many memorable lines and moments, you love digging into the mystery and the special effects are top-notch. There’s so much of it to like you start second-guessing yourself. “Is this movie really this awesome, or am I crazy?” Your gut instinct is correct. “Awesome” is the perfect word. The ending might seem a little too clean for some but a key line in the film sets it up and you’ve got to give this picture credit for truly understanding just how powerful a tool time travel is.

Following a so-so run at the box office, Edge of Tomorrow was rebranded as Live. Die. Repeat on home video. Now, it's just waiting to be discovered. Seek it out and you’ll have a blast. (On Blu-ray, April 19, 2019)

[glassmarcus]

Marcus' Super Picross Review

*Played and Written in January 2022. I generally still agree with it, but I'm less salty now.

It was the Summer of 2016. This was one of those summers where I was in-between college semesters. I’d work a 9-5 internship that wasn’t challenging or stressful, but due to the 1hr+ commute back and forth, was always draining. I’d come home from work every day and try to wind down with a video game. I didn’t have any energy to get my clam shell toaster of a laptop to fire up anything at a reasonable frame rate, nor did I have any hot new console games I wanted to play on my last gen hardware. My go to system to play was the Nintendo 3DS and the beginning of my summer was spent playing Pokémon: Alpha Sapphire. Pokémon is kind of the perfect game to play when you’re exhausted because it doesn’t demand much from you and you can pretty much go on autopilot the whole time. But I completed it pretty quickly, and the only post game to speak of was the hunt for Legendarys. I am a self proclaimed hater of Legendary Pokémon, so this didn't appeal to me. And unfortunately it was a hunt to catch Legendary Pokémon though, and not a hunt to exterminate them from existence, so I couldn't get invested.

I figured maybe I could buy something for cheap on the Nintendo E-shop next. I didn’t want to spend too much, but fickle as I was, even I knew a 5 -10 dollar game would make no difference in my attempts to stay on top of my college tuition. Sorting through the cheapest games on the digital store I came across a bunch of free products that I immediately wrote off as Free to Play shovel-ware. One did manage to catch my eye though. Pokémon Picross. I’d heard of Picross, but never actually played it. I knew there was a Mario Picross on the Game Boy and that it was pretty good, but Pokémon Picross flew right by me. It was indeed Free-to-Play, but my curiosity got the better of me and I downloaded it regardless. I did a quick google search and learned that the game does have a finite amount of content, so I wasn’t worried it would take over my life schedule forever like that One Piece mobile game I used to play did. I loaded up the game, played until I ran out of…play points??? Stamina?? I don’t know what terminology was used, but it was whatever currency that recharged each day to get you to play it daily. By the end of the play session I realized something very profound about myself. I like Picross.

At first it was just a fun “fill in the blanks” sort of game. Look at what each row and column require and make a cute picture based on those rules. Pokémon Picross had a unique take on the Picross formula that I didn’t realize was unique until I played other Picross games. Each puzzle represents a Pokémon you can catch. Each Pokémon has a power that automatically fills out squares in a different pattern. You had to strategically use your Pokémon to fill out the Picross within the time limit and it was so visually simple, yet mentally stimulating. My brain would be completely dead after my commute back from work and playing Picross would never fail to resurrect it. In retrospect, the way you have to build a team of “Pokemon” to effectively solve Nonograms (that’s what Picross puzzles are actually called fyi) is brilliant and I want it to be expanded on in other games. It’s a wonderful system, but it doesn’t relate to why I love Picross so much.

There are Nonograms in Pokémon Picross which you are not allowed to use Pokémon on. Some of these puzzles seemed impossible to solve without having at least a few automatically filled squares. At first glance it appeared like I was face to face with a guessing game. At 14th glace it appeared like I was face to face with a guessing game. But at that 15th glance I saw something else. I stopped looking at what squares could and had to be filled out and instead started viewing what couldn’t be filled out. Only then did I catch a glimpse into what the true form of the matrix really was. An intricate nonlinear string of raw logic. You look at the Nonogram and get stuck thinking you’ve done everything you can, but when you analyze every line and extinguish every impossibility, you WILL succeed. You may not succeed as quickly as you’d like. You may not do it in an efficient or clean way. But it will be done. And that’s the true beauty of it all. Every good Nonogram is built upon this one comforting adage as it’s foundation “Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth”. Going from hopelessly stuck, to finding that one chink in the proverbial armor is the most satisfying feeling in any puzzle game I’ve laid my hands on. Because when you find that one pixel you overlooked, endless possibilities(or impossibilities) cascade one after the other. It’s the puzzle equivalent of landing a chunky combo in a fighting game when your back is against the wall. Every difficult Nonogram has the potential to become it’s own underdog story where the hero narrowly slinks by with the W.

It didn’t take long for me to get hooked on Picross, and I could no longer bare playing only the 30 minutes of free Picross the game allowed per day. I bought Mario Picross from the E-shop and got to experience a Picross game with no gimmicks. I also started playing Picross online during my breaks at work. I became a Picross fiend. If I hadn’t played Dark Souls later that same summer, Picross would probably be the defining game of that year for me. I eventually caved and just bought enough extra time in Pokémon Picross so that I could play whenever I wanted to until I beat it. Yea, I paid money for a Free to Play game like some kind of sucker. That’s how bad I had the Picross bug. Eventually I took a break from Picross and only stuck to playing Picross games online when I felt like it. Every once and a while I’d pick up a new Picross game that had a nice twist such as Murder by Numbers or Pictoquest, but I didn’t fall back in hard until recently.

So I guess I can start writing about the game now.

Around one year back, Mario's Super Picross was added to the Nintendo Switch Online Library. I had no idea this game existed and that was because it was never released outside of Japan and PAL regions. I just got around to it near the end of 2021 out of sudden curiosity only to find that this has not been translated in the slightest. I had to navigate through this game using nothing but past knowledge of how UI are typically designed. I’m pretty sure I completed everything the game has to offer, but I can’t be certain. There could have been a hint mechanic for all I knew, not that I’d ever use it. In fact I think there was something like that, but I had no clue how to work the damned thing and it would just result in me messing up the puzzle.

Lack of translations aside, Mario's Super Picross is probably the best and worse Picross game when it comes to the quality of the Nonograms themselves. Everything else is pretty par for the course. It’s the logical evolution of the first Mario Picross. The original only had the gimmick of a roulette that fills out 1 row and 1 column. Everything else is a pure Picross. While it’s delightful, it’s a bit limited. The Nonogram Grids in Mario's Picross max out at 15X15. 15X15 is fine enough, but after a while that becomes a bit too easy. Mario's Super Picross was released on the Super Famicon, and thus assumes you aren’t squinting your way though the game on a tiny screen. Because of this, you are given 20X20 and even 20X25 grids to work with. They can get pretty grueling, but that only makes them more satisfying to overcome.

The difficulty of the grids aren’t even that much of factor in determining these as quality Nonograms. I may have understated the importance earlier, but the image produced upon completion of the puzzle is integral to the gameplay loop. Slowly filling in the canvas with pixels and then figuring out the intended scene is gratifying on a completely separate level. By the end of the puzzle you won’t just feel like you solved a problem, you’ll feel like you really built something. Super Picross is good at having the Picross image be something with a strong silhouette. You can still solve it by following the rules, but eventually you can also solve it by knowing what the image is supposed to look like. Recent Picross games do not follow this philosophy. They are reliant on color to make the image for them. It’s sort of why I fell off the last Picross Game I played before this, Hatsune Miku: Logic Paint S. The completed image makes no sense in black and white and then presto, you have a cute colorful anime girl’s face.

Mario’s Super Picross does just about everything right, outside of a few quality of life changes modern games would have such as: locking in completed rows and columns and graying out numbers that are already used. I would say it’s the quintessential Picross experience…. as long you don’t play through the entirety of the Wario Campaign. Mario’s Super Picross is split into 2 Parts: The Mario Levels and the Wario Levels. The Mario Levels are akin to most levels in the original. Nonograms of increasing size that you have to solve within a time limit. Any mistake you make takes minutes off the timer, and the amount of minutes increases exponentially after each mistake. And like I said before, you can use a roulette to knock out a row and a column if you chose to do so. These levels are perfect I’d say. Once you do these you unlock the Wario campaign. Wario is Picross in it’s truest form. No roulette, no timer, no alerts for when you make a mistake. Just you and the Nonogram, locked into a room until one of you remains standing. It’s the best part of the game as it test your confidence in your Picross skills. It’s also the worst part of the game because it breaks that cardinal law of Picross I described earlier.

It was around the last few levels of the Wario puzzles where the challenge started to get real nasty. My deductive abilities had never been pushed this far and I could feel my true Picross powers awaken in the heat of battle like some sort of Bleach episode. They were tough, but I was only becoming more confident in my strength. And much like my confidence in every aspect of myself, it quickly shattered. I soon was face to face with seemingly the most complex Nonogram yet. It was a 20X25 full of 1’s, 2’s, and 3’s with very little symmetry. This was an indomitable beast. I tried my best to box it in, but I just couldn’t do it. I analyzed every angle and every approach, but there was no guaranteed move I could make no matter how hard I looked at it. After 2 hours I caved and looked up the solution, and upon my search I saw some forum post talking about, not just this puzzle, but other similar puzzles near the end of the Wario Campaign. It was then I learned that I didn’t fail Picross; Picross failed me.

There was no logically sound way to solve this. Trial and Error was required and I don’t think I’ve ever been more betrayed in my life. This is a side of Picross I did not like one bit. For hours I studied this thing, thinking there was something wrong with my approach. Everything before this point could be reasoned with, but suddenly the game expects you to just pick an equally valid option, hope it’s the right one and then keep on going. After the paradigm shift became apparent, I wasn’t slowed down too much. I had glorious emulation technology on my side, I can just reload a state when I fuck the puzzle up beyond repair. That’s not the point though. It’s designed so that you shouldn’t have to do that, so it’s infuriating for the game to go back on that design and not say anything about it. Pretending like everything is as hunky dory as it used to be. Why am I being Gaslit by Picross? Why am I being Gaslit by WARIO??

Only a handful of these Nonograms require guesswork, but I didn’t know that before hand. Every puzzle after this point had a high chance of being bullshit as far as I knew. The trust was broken and the illusion faded. I couldn’t take any of the puzzles seriously because I was so paranoid about the skullduggery that could lie at every corner. I only gained some pep in my step when I finished the Wario Levels (and the Special Wario Levels (and the ULTRA Wario Levels)) and unlocked the EX Mario levels. The Mario levels don’t expect perfection from you, thus I don’t expect perfection from them. If there’s a suspect Nonogram on the grid, I’ll only lose like two minutes of time when the grift occurs. No big deal at the end of the day. But once I finished EX Mario Levels (and the Secret EX Mario Level) I unlocked the EX Wario levels (and of course the Secret EX Wario level (and how could we forget the OTHER EX Wario Level(But let’s not leave out The Third Ex Wario Level))). This last batch of Wario levels straight up wilted me and I almost regret doing them.

I looked at that completed 300 Puzzle File and it filled me with nothing but apathy. I wasn’t glad it was over, but I kinda was. I felt proud I completed it, but also I wasn’t. I can tell the designers were trying to include more content, but they went too far. If there were about as many puzzles in this game as there were the previous one, the game would be immaculate. It would have ended on a high note at least. Instead, we had pernicious padding to make sure the game has exactly 300 puzzles, regardless of how poorly thought out they might get. To bring up Pokémon one more time, Mario's Super Picross is the Pokémon Generation 5 Pokédex of Picross Games to me. There’s a lot of great Nonograms in there, but also some that weighed on my soul. Still a good time, the majority of the journey is satisfying, but the picture at the end of the puzzle is not as beautiful as I’d like it to be.

[thenightling]

Five Nights at Freddy's Movie review

I just saw Five Nights at Freddy's.

It was campy, cheesy, and predictable. And you know what? I loved it. It was strangely nostalgic. I know that the film is based on a relatively recent horror video game franchise but it's very much stylized to resemble a horror film of the 1980s. Not only was the pizza place and animatronics (modeled on Chuck. E. Cheese) nostalgic for the 1980s but there's a strategically limited use of technology in the movie, giving it a kind of timeless feel. The repeated use of The Romantics song "Talking in your Sleep." also helped. The music definitely helps give it an 80s feel. Spoilers below: The plot is this. A child predator killed a handful of children at the pizza restaurant. The bodies were never found. I'm sure it's not that big of a surprise to learn the children now possess the animatronics where their bodies were hidden. The main character, Mike, is battling for custody for his kid sister. An unpleasant Aunt Jane has gone through unscrupulous means to try to claim Abby (the kid sister). Needless to say Jane and those working for Jane fall victim to the possessed animatronics. Mike has PTSD because when he was twelve-years-old his kid brother was abducted (and his body was also never found). Needless to say the man who killed the children who now possess the animatronics turns out to be the man who killed Mike's kid brother and he was manipulating the ghosts of his victims who could not remember how they had died. As I said, it's cheesy good fun. There are a few jump scares (which used to annoy me as a kid). And there is that annoying strobe effect of flickering lights or faulty florescent lights but thankfully there weren't as many of those as I initially thought there would be. I have epileptic and photophobic friends who can't handle those sort of strobe effects so I was a little worried they would not be able to enjoy the film.

It's a very far-fetched movie and full of 80s horror tropes but that's not a bd thing. The combination of nostalgia, familiarity, and predictability made it oddly enjoyable to watch. If I wasn't already familiar with the video game franchise you'd think this was an 80s horror movie and that's actually a good thing. Even though the film is PG-13, there's enough death and creative film tricks where your imagination comes up with a lot of the horror. Though we now know who killed Mike's brother (and he obviously plans to haunt one of the animatronics in death) I can't help but feel that there are a few unresolved plot threads such as what happened to Mike's brother? Is he also haunting the restaurant? Is he the cupcake? I know the animatronics are supposed to resemble the ones from the video games, and they do. But I can't help but be bothered by how innately creepy they are. Animatronics can be creepy on their own. And if you know about how animatronics work you sit wondering "Are they skinned? Why do they have exposed joins and mechanisms? Doesn't that ruin the illusion that these are anthropomorphic animals?" I also love some of the cornier moments, such as how quickly Mike accepted "Okay, these robots are possessed by dead children..." It's a fun, cheesy, film. Blum House definitely knows what they're doing. They have brought back the type of horror films that were popular (and entertaining) from my childhood, even if they are shackled by the marketing demand for a PG-13 rating but I'm willing to argue that it doesn't need to be a higher rating than PG-13. I liked this movie the way I liked the 2022 Dracula movie, The Invitation. It was campy but good. It was refreshing to see the genre drifting away from Torture P0rn (not literal p0rn, just excessive gore that people seem overly happy to see). And I am pretty sure Spirit Halloween will be Happy to start carrying Five Nights at Freddy's merchandise the way they already do for Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, It, and Trick 'r Treat.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary32

10/6-7/2023

back 2 fixing things.

but i'm happy with how these two sound. thinking now: things could be brighter in one, or harsher, and i figured out exactly how to do that i think, i need to peak a couple freqs a bunch, super resonances in the high mids/ super highs, and that'll work really well.

it's fun solving problems and thinking about sound, i was thinking about why some of these riffs are hard to mix, and because some are written pretty low/ with lower notes (2nd octave, around c2 i guess, so not way low, but, like, maybe relatively) there's a lot happening in the mids, bunches of fundamentals there, and so a lot of the texture sits right beside that note information, and the notes coming thru clearly/not distorted feeling enough has been a problem, but i can focus on those ranges precisely, not just w/ the peaking trick but i can like, actually strategically use multiband distortion. but i was thinking about how when you play bass, the high end noises/nonmusical features can end up kind of accentuated, just as the sound happens, there's more space for those to sit, but the smearing in guitar, even simulated, is harder to deal with, plus chords being complicated by all the note interaction or whatever and stuff. i don't know a lot about music really, at least theory, i only really feel confident in dealing with sound, and mostly it's an intuitive process. so like i don't know about anything.

right now i am listening to haruomi hosono's video game music. this stuff is such an intense pleasure. this stuff is genius. the fact that these songs are interrupted by the sound effects in these games, these atonal shots across the tonal field, i feel kinship with it, it knows it's funny, and it's genius. it also reminds me of mario 3, and how my aunt used to play it, that particular kind of sound chip, one of the greatest sounds, to be sure. the kitchen where my aunt played mario 3 while cooking, the kitchen where my uncle made gyoza by hand at times, and where he played world of warcraft, the computer my aunt played mario 3 on being the very computer my older cousins showed me scary maze game on, where i ran from that beloved kitchen shrieking, and where my uncle let me watch him play world of warcraft in silence, and seeing my interest, let me use his account, and at home playing, i had experiences too soon, that i should not have had at 6 or 8. but i did. all of this only makes me love life. that computer changed hands 3 times, from each cousin down, until my nearest in age cousin owned it, that tan tower, the hefty crt, it's all gone now, but i loved that thing, that computer so old, it still used floppies. i love that a floppy disc pc was part of my life, a deep thing lodged in me.

now listening to the pole position track, i really feel connected to this, using simple synthesis and illusions to create the sense that you are hearing something not there, in my case guitars, in this case, vehicles, accidents, and people screaming. hosono is obviously working with harder stuff though, i'm only able to cheat with distortion, he really picked the sounds down to their simplest elements and worked out how to make them feel like something.

and dig dug now, i remember getting this on a plug n play from my stepdad, and earlier, from my stepmom. i had good times with those. dig dug is a game i never got good at, i'm not good at any games, but i loved dig dug.

maybe people would say these old games are clumsy, but tim roger's excessively long video about pac man is maybe one of the most moving things ever, all of this was highly intentional at the start.

now i'm listening to kap bambino and i don't know where my phone is.

today broadly was either nice or really stressful, cooking dinner was stressful, a bag of candy my gf had fell onto all the dishes which didn't get them dirty or anything it was a really inconvenient mess and then an egg rolled off the counter while i was trying to put something back in the fridge and then i made a bunch of smoke happen because i let the lid on while heating oil (why, i don't know, i say it every day now, i'm like actually way stupid, i don't deserve to live i make so many problems) and dinner was fine i think, i liked it even, it was just a lot of stress and frustration in the kitchen, i guess that will make sleep better.

sometimes i wish i had more help in the kitchen, but it's so small, and my gf never really learned about cooking or even learned about helping to cook, so she would be very awkward and probably end up frustrating me when i need to move somewhere or something, and i'm so used to doing everything alone and when i helped my mom i got good at intuiting how to stay out of her way so she wouldn't get mad at me, it's just a difficult arrangement in the apartment. she hates cleaning or getting her hands wet, so she doesn't wanna do dishes. it's fine that i do all of it. i have no job, she makes all the money and stuff. it's just frustrating sometimes i guess. it's stupid though, she pays for my existence, i can do everything else.

and there's some really awful canker sore at the back of my mouth, it feels so raw right now. ugh. a constant sharp pain, i wish i didn't have to be inside of my body right now.

it's crazy how tiny inconveniences can make me want to fall to the floor and curl up and wait until i die.

so anyways, byebye!!

[chequelunge4]

Three Ways Game Apps Will Help You Get Extra Enterprise

5. Istanbul was a extremely completely designed app proper out of the field: It has robust AI players. fortunaslot777 is a route-discovering game that manages not to really feel like a lot of a route-discovering recreation: You progress your merchant across the four-by-4 board, with each area allowing you to perform some specific function, like collecting items, promoting them for coins, upgrading your caravan, or buying and selling goods or coins for rubies, which is the precise objective of the sport. The app is customizable to fit your child's particular math wants, but beneficial for teenagers aged 7 and up. Created by the Smithsonian Institute, the sport takes primary engineering predicaments and permits kids to stretch their minds to create solutions to those problems by stacking and manipulating objects. STEM-forward video games have interaction physics and engineering to help children create and invent to unravel mechanical and structural problems, while traditional puzzle games permit kids to make use of their strategical skills to place collectively digital riddles. I know I am not the just one who feels only a tad much less guilty about further display screen time for my children when they're engaged with an app that is helping them learn. Equipped with contact display screen feature, 3.5-inch large display screen, 3D processor, iPhone is the biggest system as evaluate to other classic good phones available for video games. However, most Samsung phones would have a mixture of apps primarily based on social media, messaging, video games, news, business and utility. Nonetheless, you will not get element or documentation for some of its particular features because of outdated or nonexistent documentation. Nevertheless, such an interface of the software can make you are feeling overwhelmed with complexity. BuildBox: This can also be a preferred game improvement tool which helps in creating a variety of games without any scripting, coding or programming. It is also a necessary issue to maintain under consideration while selecting recreation app Growth Firm. This app from PBS Youngsters makes use of geometry and three-dimensional shapes to assist take traditional puzzle video games to the next stage. Youngsters can kind and match objects like fruits and vegetables by shade, following together with the sport's enjoyable animal characters as they help the crew pack for and arrange picnics. Set children loose in wondrous worlds designed particularly for them. Preschoolers will love this enjoyable and simple-to-explore app set in a yard the place The Cat Within the Hat and friends construct tree homes, playgrounds, and extra. “It will not involve recreation streaming.” Google’s app won’t rely on any special integration with Windows 11, and the company will also distribute the app itself. These are Goal C and XCode.One of the simplest ways is to learn and follow as a lot as doable to attain the optimum level of perfection which is required to launch an app successfully on the Appstore. I’ve tried greater than 50 such apps, all of that are primarily based on games you may really purchase in stores; these are the best of the bunch. There are a lot of classes obtainable of them according to the person's interest similar to motion, racing, adventure, shooting and many more. There are numerous web sites that provide hundreds of thousands of free. What do you suppose are the very best word game apps on the market? Why you’ll adore it: This one goes beyond the conventional “find word repeat” type of word game apps by introducing multiple columns of letters you might have shift around with a purpose to spell out phrases in the middle row. Why you’ll like it: If you happen to love the Television present, this sport gives you the flexibility to take your personal flip on the wheel and guess the show’s puzzles. Why you’ll adore it: This one has the basic feel and look of old school games, with loads of playability. This class additionally has super fan following as a result of such games are liked not solely be the youngsters but, elder people also do like them and even like to play them. Even infants and toddlers can be taught by way of simplistic drawback solving apps. Cell apps builders are very versatile. Evidently, Visible Studio Categorical 2012 for Home windows Cellphone finds its religious use for mobile game development on this domain.

[clamsjams]

Hellooo :D here's my opinion on the Purgatory event. I am not an expert on game design, I don't know much at all, but I still want to try to analyze the event a bit. (If you do end up using this for the video pls keep me anonymous.)

Hopefully this makes sense lmao

Purgatory:

1.- Time

a) It lasted for way too long, it never gave anyone a chance to rest. Constant stress. 

b) Changes being made constantly regarding the score = confusion, no one could properly adapt, no one knew what to do, it made strategizing a lot harder, it made pvp a lot harder.

c) The fact that they scheduled an event on Sunday and announced it barely the day before (late in the day) is nuts. QSMP has always had little activity during Sundays, they should know the ccs schedules, why the fuck would they put an event on such a day and with such short notice. The least they could have done is warn the streamers in advance, no need to tell them exactly what the event will be, but they could just let them know that they'll need to be available on Sunday.

Also, they should have warned the ccs about the entire event in general. Again, no need to explain details or give spoilers, but letting them know "hey, this event will last 2 weeks and it's going to be pretty intense, we need you to mentally prepare yourselves and also we'll have important event on X and Y days so we'll need anyone who can to show up" would have been better than just throwing them to the wolves like that.

2.- PVP

They seemed to want to focus on pvp rather than roleplay, however:

a) Cursed team is an aspect of roleplay that they introduced that actively made pvp/confrontation worse.

b) Mobs being too overpowered. Yes it's purgatory, but not everyone is a proficient minecraft player and struggling with mobs caused a lot of problems for people when the focus was meant to be on interpersonal conflict.

c) Their idea seemed to be an "anything is valid" event, but they didn't stick to it, which was for the best but the thing is that the rules should have been implemented since the beginning, wanting "anything" to be valid was always unrealistic. It is possible to have a strong competition whilst also having some rules to keep things fair.

d) They ended up focusing a lot on the quests/tasks/contracts instead of pvp, which defeats the purpose of having a pvp event. They should have chosen whether to focus mainly on pvp or on strategy and stuck to it, instead they tried to make both things equally relevant and it did not work at all.

e) Spawn protections were useless.

f) They bounty system sucked, revealing a players cords like that was only going to bring trouble, especially as often as it happened. They tried to fix it but it was not good enough and ended up removing the npc entirely. It could have worked if they just didn't give out the exact location of players, I saw many suggesting a compass that simply points in a direction and that would have probably been better (though it still could have led to bases being found but it gave people a lot more time to move and get far away before being found).

3.- Rewards

a) The event asked a lot of the streamers and the audience, yet it provided little reward for everything they did. For "winning" during the first week all Bolas got was that they didn't have to participate on Sunday's event and an "advantage" for the capture the flag event, which ended up being having an admin play on their team.

b) Winning Purgatory got them to rescue 1 egg. They couldn't even pick which egg. Also, they immediately after threw a nuclear bomb at them. We still don't even for certain what happened to Dapper.

And that's it. That's all they ever got for Purgatory.

c) They didn't even get any answers or clues re: the eye guy, the eggs, egg island, the feds, the black concrete, the supposed cursed team, ElQuackity.

They got nothing, they didn't even get the chance to fight their captor, or ElQ, who was working for the eye. Nothing.

This made the ending feel anti climatic despite the fact that a lot was happening and that it should have been a great deal for them to finally be done with Purgatory.

4.- Teams

a) One good thing was pairing people with others they don't usually have a chance to interact much with because it helps to develop friendships.

b) The problem was how they handled the inactive players.

Half of the original Bolas team never logged on for the event, not even once. They only had the numbers because the half that did join fully committed and logged on even on days when they usually wouldn't.

But that should not be the standard, people should be able to log on when they can/want, they are entitled to their off days or other projects/responsibilities, they all have a life outside of the qsmp and outside of purgatory. Plus, the fact that the event was designed to appeal to a small group of players (bc pvpers are definitely not the majority on the server) and because of how harsh the conditions were, then they discouraged people from wanting to participate. Cellbit almost fully quit on day 2. In fact, Bolas' consistency was due to the fact that they enjoyed losing their minds with their friends. It wasn't the event itself what motivated them, but rather their friendship and enjoyment of each other's company.

c) Ideally, you want people to play your game because they actually enjoy it. Or because the reward is worth it. In this case, neither occurred.

d) Struggling to get players online, or completely depending on the exact same group of people for the entire 2 weeks is exhausting and with the lack of reward is simply not worth putting up with. I completely understand any cc that is/was feeling burnt out due to purgatory.

hi kal! i know it’s been ages since i asked for this but im cleaning out my inbox now. since my qsmp hyperfixation is gone im most likely not gonna get around to doing this video but i still appreciate all the info that u and everyone else ended up sending me! i’m not deleting the asks and i’m giving them a special tag just in case i decide to come back to it one day. thanks again for ur thoughts

[hornime]

voyeurant | kenma kozume x f!reader

he tentatively wrapped a palm around the shaft, shuddering at the contact, his eyelids fluttering shut. god, i’m such a pervert, thinking about her like this. she’d hate me if she knew i saw her like that, knew that i was touching myself thinking about her tits...

warnings: 18+, timeskip!kenma, kinda dubcon, kenma’s unintentionally pervy, male masturbation, poorly written video game content (i tried my best), mutual pining but u both are oblivious

w/c: 1.5k

a/n: yes, the title is a shitty pun of valorant. no, i will not be changing it. also this tiktok about timeskip kenma made me giggle so pls enjoy.

voyeurant: part one ↓ | part two | part three:

“fuck, i hate this map,” kenma grumbled into his headset.

your voiced chimed in his ears. “is it ascent?” you turned to see his face on your screen, pinched in annoyance. “ha, it is ascent. sucks for you.”

“which one are you on? haven?”

“you know it,” you chuckled. “your favorite.”

“i hate you.” he weighed his options, did he really want to play this game? the layout of the world made it irritatingly hard to strategize, and today’s losing streak was making him more agitated than usual. with a sign, he closed the application. “fuck this. i’m gonna go piss.”

“yeah, yeah, you’re such a big baby. and...” you released your mouse, throwing your hands up in triumph, “we just won. at this point, i’m gonna outrank you.” you were joking, of course. kenma wasn’t just a gamer, he was kodzuken, one of japan’s best pro-gamers, and you were just someone that played as a hobby. but it was always fun to tease.

“hmm,” he hummed. “i’m sure you will.” he turned his head to look directly at his webcam, smirking, “in your dreams.”

“ooh, catboy’s getting feisty!” he flinched at the nickname. “go pee so i can beat you at your best.”

he obliged, pulling his headphones off and looping them on the top of his chair. he casually raised his middle finger at you while smoothing out strands of his hair, prompting a series of profanities to escape your mouth, none of which he could hear. he chuckled playfully as you responded with two middle fingers of your own, before moving out of the camera to get to the bathroom.

you and kenma had met in an... interesting way, to say the least. after going moderately viral from lashing out at him for refusing to heal you in a game of overwatch—while he was streaming—the two of you reconciled over a twitter thread and exchanged gamer tags. since then, you’d struck up an easygoing friendship, characterized by almost nightly discord calls and occasional flirting. but we’re just friends, you often reminded yourself. and you were fine, well, mostly fine, with that.

tonight was like any other night: both you and him spending hours in a video chat with nothing better to do than mindlessly play games and bash each other. it was more than enough to strengthen your relationship but fell short of giving you the romantic tension you craved.

with kenma off in the bathroom, you, already bored, spun wildly in your chair. forgetting that your earbuds were still plugged in, the white wire caught on an opened can of coke sitting on your desk, spilling the sugary drink all over your keyboard and the front of your shirt. 

“shit!” you quickly scrambled for paper towels, but the still-connected wire yanked you backwards. in your haste for something to wipe the soda with, the fact that your camera remained on in the video call completely slipped your mind. making the split-second decision that the trip for a towel wasn’t worth it at this point, you quickly whipped off your shirt, dabbing the keys with the part that was still dry. since you were home, you’d gone braless, and your current predicament had you flashing your webcam.

now, kenma had seen a lot of things from your side of the call: he’d seen you get chewed out by your residential advisor for being too loud, you with two sticks of pocky poking out of your mouth like walrus tusks, and you doing random cosplay moves you’d seen on tiktok. what he wasn’t expecting to see, not even in his wildest dreams, was a screenful of your tits, slightly damp from the cola that had seeped through the fabric of your long-gone shirt.

he stopped in his tracks, still out of the frame of his camera, eyes wide and heart racing, desperately trying to calm down and prevent the gradual hardening of his cock in his pants. unable to deny his desires, he continued staring at your plump breasts on his computer, you completely unaware that he could see you.

you quickly threw your soaked top in the laundry basket before throwing on a random sweatshirt and trying to calm your frazzled nerves. you tentatively touched your keyboard, groaning internally when you fingers lightly stuck to the buttons. it’s gonna take forever to clean this, you mourned.

“hey,” kenma mumbled, reappearing on screen and shaking you out of your thoughts.

“hey.” you noticed his flushed expression. “are you okay? you look really red.”

“uh, yeah. i actually uh, i feel kinda sick. so i’m gonna, gonna go.”

“oh, okay.” why’s he acting so weird? “feel better!” you disconnected from the call with a huff, disappointment morphing your face into a pout. well, you thought, better get to cleaning.

kenma, on the other hand, was still, swallowing as the bulge in his boxers became agonizingly hard. though the only thing left on his screen was his reflection staring back at him, the luscious view of your bust was etched in his mind. his hands moved to free his cock, the tip an angry red and smearing pre-cum over the waistband of his underwear. 

he tentatively wrapped a palm around the shaft, shuddering at the contact, his eyelids fluttering shut. god, i’m such a pervert, thinking about her like this. she’d hate me if she knew i saw her like that, knew that i was touching myself thinking about her tits...

“fuck,” he whined, slowly stroking up and down. his thighs trembled as he fell back into his chair, mind wandering. he couldn’t stop himself, his thoughts become more and more lewd, fantasizing about how your breasts would bounce as he thrusted into you, how your thighs would wrap warmly around your head as he ate you out, how you’d cry out his name so prettily when he made you squirt around his fingers.

it was all too much, and as the circle he made with his fingers tightened as he reached his tip, he lurched forward, alarmed at how good everything felt just by thinking about you. i can’t cum, i can’t, the small part of his brain that wasn’t completely overtaken with pleasure tried to reason with him. there’s no going back if i—shit—if i cum. she’ll know, somehow, if i—if i cum, i—

the ecstasy kept clouding his judgement and his body worked against his mind as his hand pumped faster and faster while his conscience screamed to stop. his wrist wetly slapped the base of his cock, the sounds of both his hands and his moans getting too loud for comfort, but all he could think about was you. your eyes, your mouth, your chest, your legs, your ass, your pussy. god, he wanted to be in you so badly.

he couldn’t hold back, his insatiable need to cum overriding his senses, and the translucent liquid twitched out of his throbbing cock in spurts, drenching his fist and his balls. “fuck, fuck, fuck. i’m—fuck.”

he collapsed against the back of his chair, chest heaving with the sheer intensity of his orgasm. he combed a hand through his hair, the consequences of his actions now weighing heavily on his shoulders. i’m never gonna be able to look at her in the eyes again, he lamented. how am i ever gonna—damn it. 

the sudden ping of a notification had his eyes raising from the mess on his pants towards his computer screen. 

meanwhile, you were messaging kenma, a little off-put by his sudden radio silence but chalking it all up to his mysterious sickness.

[11:05 PM] you: hey ken! hope u feel better

[11:05 PM] you: if u get the chance u should check out what i added to our minecraft house. its perfect for sick victorian orphans like u

[12:14 PM] you: guess

[12:05 PM] you: guess

[12:05 PM] you: guess

[12:05 PM] you: guess

[12:05 PM] you: why arent u responding

[12:05 PM] you: guess

[12:05 PM] you: ok u got me ill tell u

[12:05 PM] you: its a hot tub

[12:05 PM] you: but with soup

[12:05 PM] you: but the soup is lava

[12:05 PM] you: genius right

[12:06 PM] you: anyway get some sleep and feel better <3

[12:06 PM] you: lmk if u wanna play animal crossing

[12:06 PM] you: actually no u should sleep. rest ur eyes and shit

[12:06 PM] you: no animal crossing for u!

[12:06 PM] you: sleep well so i can destroy ur ass in val tmrw

[12:06 PM] you: >:)

he sighed as he read your one-sided ramblings. he really liked you.

and he really wanted to fuck you. lucky for you, you wanted the exact same thing. 

if only kenma knew what you did on the other side of the screen, hands in your undies and his name on your lips...

>> part two

© property of hornime 2021. do not plagiarize any of my writing and do not repost/copy my writing onto any other sites.

[mochegato]

Hope on Board

Chapter 10 – Welcome to the Mad House

Note: In the last chapter, a few people were wondering about Dick knowing Marinette was there and I realized I cut out the pre-fight strategizing session that explained it.  Signal was the first to respond because it was a daytime event and he was already on patrol.  He called Red Hood in as backup because he knew Jason was free.  Dick just showed up without warning because he knew Marinette had an appointment there earlier and was no longer responding to texts or phone calls and Dick got scared and came to check.

Chapter 1     Chapter 9

“And you’re sure I’m dressed appropriately?”  Marinette asked again.  He’d lost count of what number that was by now.

“Marinette I promise you.  You’re dressed perfectly.  You look amazing and not to make you pout, but nobody is going to care what you’re wearing and it’s too late to change now anyway,” Dick assured her again, this time on the steps walking up to the Wayne Manor front doors.

Marinette looked scandalized.  “Of course they’re going to care!  What people wear affects how people think about them.  I mean, each person reacts differently to the same outfit, but it has an effect.  And, technically, I’m going to dinner with two of my bosses, which just adds extra pressure on top of meeting my boyfriend’s family.” She couldn’t stop herself from grinning as she said boyfriend despite the spiral she was going into, which was making her physically sick on top of mentally sick. “And Alfred!  What if he thinks I’m not dressed properly for what he planned? I don’t want to insult Alfred!”

Dick laughed hard enough to grab his stomach in pain.  Marinette pouted at him.  “Alfred will only care if you are intentionally trying to be offensive. That’s going to be true for almost all of them.”  She raised an eyebrow at him.  “But you’re dressed perfectly, I promise you.  It’s nice but not too nice.  The perfect meeting the family dress.  But they’re going to care more about the person than the dress and they are going to love the person.”  

He ran his hands up and down her arms at a soothing pace before pulling her against him and placing a chaste kiss on her lips.  She smiled warmly at him and nodded, her lips set in a determined line. “Let’s do this.  We got this.”

Dick chuckled and reached for the door.  Before he could reach the handle, the door opened up in front of him. “Master Dick and you must be Miss. Dupain-Cheng.  Please come in.”  Alfred gave them a warm smile.

“Thank you so much.  You must be M. Pennyworth.”

“Indeed I am.  Please call me Alfred.  Everyone else in the family does.”  He smiled kindly at her.  “It is a pleasure to meet you Miss Dupain-Cheng.”

“Thank you.  Please just Marinette, Alfred.  It is a pleasure to meet you.  Dick talks about you all the time.” She reached up to give him la bise.  She pulled away to offer him the box she had been carrying.  “I brought some macarons for you and the rest of the family.”

He took the box gratefully.  “That was very thoughtful of you.”

“The grey ones are Earl Grey flavored, if you wanted to get to it before the rest of the family.”  She handed over the box with a wink.

“Very thoughtful, indeed.” He nodded again with a secretive smile.

“The rest of the family in the living room?” Dick asked.

“They are, Master Dick.  Awaiting Miss Marinette quite anxiously, I believe.  I’m just finishing dinner.  It should just be a few minutes.”  

“Thank you, Alfred.” Dick and Marinette chimed at the same time. Alfred nodded again before disappearing toward the kitchen.  Dick smiled to her and guided her toward the living room.  “And now, into the mad house.”  He took a deep breath as he opened the door to the living room.  The room went silent for a few seconds before the noise level ramped up again with everyone welcoming them at the same time. “One at a time,” Bruce boomed loud enough to get everyone’s attention.

Dick nodded to him before going into introductions.  “You already know Tim,” he started indicating Tim, who was already at Marinette’s side.  Marinette nodded and gave Tim a hug.  “That is Damian,” he pointed to the surly looking teen sitting on his own in an armchair. He nodded curtly to her so she returned the gesture.  “And Jason.” He indicated a large man leaning against a console table.  They waved politely to each other.  “Duke,” he nodded toward the young man that just jumped up to shake her hand.  “Barbara,” he moved out of the way so Barbara could roll closer to Marinette to say Hi. “Cass,” Cass waved excitedly.  “And of course, you’ve met Bruce…”

“It’s good to see you again Mr. Wayne.”  She held out her hand to shake his.

“Bruce, please.  We’re not in the office.  Welcome Miss. Dupain-Cheng.”  He said warmly, reaching to give her a hug instead.

Marinette beamed at him.  “Marinette, please.  And thank you.  You have a beautiful home.”

“Thank you, Marinette.”

“Yeah, yeah.  Beautiful home, blah, blah, blah.  Alfred’s the one that does all the work anyway.  Hi, I’m Stephanie.”  She pushed Bruce over as she made her way over to Marinette.  Marinette assumed it was a common occurrence based on the way Bruce just sighed and accepted it, sitting down quietly to observe the results.

“And this is Stephanie.” Dick repeated with a laugh.

“Hi, Stephanie.  It’s nice to meet you.”  Marinette grinned at her.

“How are you feeling?  Do you need to sit down?  Or drink some water?  Or have a snack before dinner?”  Stephanie fired off quickly.

“Let her breathe, Steph,” Barbara chided her.

Marinette smiled politely.  “I’m fine right now, thank you.” Dick shook his head behind her so she couldn’t see. Unfortunately, she followed everyone’s line of sight and caught him.  She gasped and slapped his arm.  “I am!”

“You just threw up outside like seconds ago,” he pointed out.  “In a bag!  That we have since thrown away,” he added quickly before Alfred could hear from the kitchen and get upset they hadn’t mentioned it earlier.

“That was your driving,” she wrinkled her nose at him and turned back to the family. “And now that you’re not driving, I feel better.”  Dick laughed and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

“Oh God, I know exactly what you mean,” Barbara laughed in agreement.

Stephanie nodded in approval.  “I like her.” She grabbed Marinette’s hand to pull her away from him and onto the couch. Cass nodded in agreement and moved to join them.  “Come on, let’s complain about Dick some more.  I have all kinds of stories to tell.  You’re a fashion designer right?”  Marinette nodded trying to keep up with her, both physically and mentally. “Oh girl, have I got pictures for you!”

“No! No!  Let me wow her with my amazing fashion sense.” Dick trailed after them.

Stephanie leaned closer to Marinette as though confiding in her, but kept her voice at the same level so Dick could hear as well.  “He says ‘amazing’.  I think he’s confusing the word with appalling.”  Marinette giggled.  She wouldn’t agree out loud, but she’d seen some of his shirts and Stephanie wasn’t wrong.

“She met him wearing that red and black monstrosity and she still went home with him,” Jason pointed out.  “You’re not going to scare her away.”

“Wow! You withstood that shirt huh?” Barbara sent them a teasing glance. “You must have been wearing your tight pants that night, Dick.”

“Oh yeah.  How drunk were you?  I’m going to say you were very drunk.  Only possible excuse.” Stephanie waved it off.

“Dick has a lot of assets to offset…” she immediately stopped to rephrase grimacing.

“Hey!”

“Dick is amazing,” she corrected.  “And yes he was.  And he is smart, sweet, hot, thoughtful, devilishly charming, brave…”

“Says the woman that took down a guy triple her size the first time I met her and took out two henchmen in the hospital last week,” Dick cut in proudly. Marinette ducked her head embarrassed to talk about her more violent experiences in front of his family and her boss.  She really did not want them thinking she was dangerous and unhinged.  Dick squeezed her and kissed her temple.

“Yeah, we heard about the hospital.  Two questions…” he moved so she could see him better.

“Jason, stop being a pain in the ass,” Tim chided him.  “She doesn’t want to talk about that.”

Jason examined her for a second.  Yes, she was closing off but it didn’t seem to be out of residual fear.  It was more embarrassment.  He could fix that.  “Can’t. It’s in my nature.” He turned back to Marinette with a conspiratorial wink, “Pain in the ass is my middle name.”

Tim groaned.  “Welcome to the family.  You aren’t really in it until Jason harasses you mercilessly.”

“I thought it was when someone tried to kill you,” Stephanie scoffed.

Cass smacked her upside the head.  Stephanie looked back at her betrayed.  “What?” She caught Barbara’s pointed look and turned back to Marinette.  “…In video games of course,” she corrected.

“Ooh,” Marinette’s eyes widened in excitement.  “You guys play?  What do you play?”

“Yes!” Duke exclaimed.  “How are you at UMS?”

“Award winning,” Marinette smirked.  “Literally.  You have a copy?”

“As I was saying,” Jason interrupted loudly.  “Two questions: one, how are you feeling after the hospital?  And two, why did you throw a perfectly good gun?”

“I’m doing okay now.  Spent a few days surrounded by either Dick or Tim in meetings or Adrien, my roommate, so I’m feeling a lot better,” she assured him.

“She still has a pretty nasty bruise,” Dick interjected.

“Seen her with her shirt off to know, huh?” Stephanie wiggled her eyebrows.  

Marinette squeaked and spoke louder than she needed to.  “As for the gun, we don’t really have guns in Paris so I don’t have a lot of experience shooting, but a gun has more than one potential use. During all the akuma attacks we learned to use everyday items creatively.  I used it for the less common usage,” she shrugged as casually as she could.  “A baton would have been better but you work with what you got.”

“Oh, I suppose Chat Noir has a baton,” Dick playfully grumbled.

Marinette grinned cheekily at him.  “He does in fact, kind of like Red Robin but it can break into two if he wanted it to like Nightwing and Signal.”

Damian scoffed.  “Being able to break in half decreases the tensile strength of the weapon, making it less effective.”

“True except for one thing… magic.” She wiggled her fingers for effect. Dick huffed out a laugh and Damian scowled.

“Oh, are we comparing baton size between Parisian heroes and Gotham heroes?” Jason asked suggestively.

“I mean you can… but Chat’s could also extend to the length he needs for any task, so...” She shrugged confidently.

“Oooh. I think the Gotham heroes would be a lot more popular if their weapons could do that, too.” Stephanie grinned.

“Anyway…” Jason interrupted.  “Do you know how to shoot a gun or what?”

“Oh, no.  I don’t,” Marinette answered, returning to Jason’s original topic.  “That’s why I threw it.  I’m confident enough in my throwing skills to know I’d hit him, but not in my shooting skills and I didn’t want to hit someone else.”

“I’ll teach you sometime,” Jason said resolutely.  He wasn’t about to let his de facto sister-in-law not know how to defend herself.

“Oh that’s right.  You were the one responsible for the horde of weapons in Dick’s apartment that made me freak out and run in the first place.” She gave him a pointed look.

“You ran because you were afraid.”  He pointed out.

“I ran because I have good survival instincts,” she corrected him.

“Clearly not.  You ran from Dick,” Damian interjected.  Dick gave him a warning look that Damian determinedly ignored.

“Aberration,” she waved him off good naturedly.  “You find a stockpile of weapons in Gotham, you run.”

“True. So you in?” Jason asked again.

Marinette stared at him strangely for a few seconds.  “Huh.  You know, you’re the second person this month to offer to teach me.  Red Hood made the same offer.”  She missed the glares Damian and Dick sent toward Jason, for different reasons, and the exasperated looks Tim and Bruce sent him.

“He probably just wants to make sure you know how.  I’m sure he would be okay with a different teacher,” Jason assured her.

Marinette beamed at him.  “It sounds like fun.  I’d love to learn.”  Dick let out a defeated sigh next to her.

“If you would like to make your way to the dining room, dinner is served.”  Alfred announced.

They slowly made their way to the dining room.  Dick and Marinette trailed behind the rest so Dick could give her a discrete hug and supportive smile.  Jason quickly fell into step beside Marinette.  “Damn, you really are the size of a pixie.” He stuck out his elbow to set it on her head.  

Marinette gave him a playful glare, dodging before his elbow could land.  “You know, you look about the same size as that guy at the bar… didn’t turn out too well for him.”

“Though she be but little, she is fierce,” Jason laughed.  “I’m a better fighter than that guy was.  After the baby, we can spar and I can show you and maybe teach you a few more moves in case you need to defend yourself.” He let the ‘when you get kidnapped for being with a Wayne’ part of his sentence go unsaid. “You seem like you’ll be scrappy.”

“I’m better than scrappy,” she smirked at him.

“I can’t wait to see it,” Jason grinned as he passed her to get to his seat.

“No, you’re not allowed to encourage each other.”  Dick pulled out Marinette’s chair for her and gave Jason a warning look. Damian rolled his eyes at Dick as Alfred started serving the meal.

“Miss Marinette, I made yours less spicy than the rest of the family’s but if your medicine now allows you to eat bolder flavors, I have another back in the kitchen.”

“No, thank you Alfred.  This will be perfect.  The medicine helps but doesn’t make everything go away.  More like a low simmer rather than a full boil.”

“Oh yeah.  Dick said you started your morning sickness extra early.  That sucks.  I hope it means it’ll end extra early for you too.” Stephanie commented sympathetically.

Marinette smiled gratefully.  “Thank you. Here’s hoping.”  She raised her water in Stephanie’s direction and took a drink.

“Maybe it’s twins,” Jason offered taking a bite of his dinner.

Marinette choked on her water.  Dick patted her back.  “What?”

“That’s a sign of twins isn’t it?  Early morning sickness?” He asked around the bite of roll in his mouth.

“This dinner suddenly got a lot less fun,” Dick mumbled to Marinette.

Marinette glanced surreptitiously toward the direction of her purse in the foyer before snapping her eyes back to Jason.  “That’s not funny.  You take that back.”

“Sorry, Pixie.” He shrugged nonchalantly, a taunting smile tugging on his lips.  “I don’t make the rules.”

She narrowed her eyes at him.  “Jason Aloysius Hubert…”

“Not one of those was anywhere near…”

“…Sebastian Tobias…” she continued ignoring his interruption.

“What the hell kind of names…” Jason started chuckling incredulously.

“…Winthorp…”

“Winthorp?” His nose wrinkled in disgust.

“… Pain in the ass Todd!  You take that back right now.”  Marinette finished.  She glared at him but her faltering puckered lips, straining not to smile gave her away.

Jason broke out into raucous laughter.  It took him a few minutes to calm down enough to speak again, but when he did, he wasn’t ready to end the fun.  “I’m just saying having a little Marinette and little Dick running around here together would be cute,” he finished innocently.

She scoffed playfully.  “If you want two babies running around here together, you better go find a woman to knock up right quick.”

Jason choked on his water.  Everyone else’s eyes bugged out.  “No! No!  No!  Little Dick? Cute.  Little Marinette? Adorable.  Little Jason? Terrifying,” Tim interjected.

“Hey, fuck you, Timbers,” Jason glowered at him.  

“Language, Jason,” Bruce chided him.

“Well at least that wouldn’t result in a baby,” Stephanie observed, calmly eating her dinner.

“Might result in a death though,” Duke added, seeming not at all upset at the idea.

“I was an adorable kid,” Jason groused.  

“It’s true,” Dick agreed.  “You should have seen little Jason running around the manor doing extra credit and bragging about his report card.”

“That’s because my grades were amazing.  But not ready to have one of my own honor roll students, so it’s on you, Marinette.”

Marinette leveled a look at Jason.  “You know what?  If it’s twins, you’re coming over for at least two hours a week…”

“Four,” Dick whispered.

“Per child, so four hours total per week, to watch them for us.  Since they’ll be so cute and all.  You can teach them with your honor roll brain.” Marinette poked her fork in Jason’s direction still giggling.

Damian scowled at the interaction between Marinette and Dick and Jason. “Threats are unnecessary.  It is unlikely you will bear twins unless there is a history of it in your family.  Is there a history of it in your family?” he asked disdainfully.

“No,” she admitted.

“Then your panic is childish and unwarranted.  It is a statistical improbability,” Damian finished.

“Damian!” Bruce chastised him.

“Back off Demon Spawn.  We were just having fun.” Jason growled.

Marinette snorted.  “It was a statistical improbability that I would have gotten pregnant in the first place. And yet, here we are.  Statistics has taken a giant leave of absence with this pregnancy already.”  She stuffed her forkful of potatoes into her mouth with a smirk.

“Life finds a way,” Tim nodded sagely.

The table broke down into giggles.  “Dork,” Stephanie snorted, shoving his face away.

“Is it common in France to give multiple middle names?” Bruce asked, trying to keep the group on lighter topics.

“How many names are you planning on giving the baby?” Duke asked.

“Uh, common for rich people anyway.  I think they get an extra name for every couple million they’re born into. Adrien has four middle names.  My friend Chloe has six.”  She rolled her eyes and turned toward Duke.  “And we haven’t talked about it but I was only planning on a first, middle, and last name.”  She looked over to Dick for confirmation.

Dick nodded, slightly relieved.  “Good. That’s good.  I agree.”

“You haven’t talked about names yet?  That’s going to be a fun conversation.  Can I bring popcorn and watch?” Stephanie chuckled.

“Six?” Duke asked.

Marinette nodded.  “Unbelievably pretentious parents.” She stopped and looked around.  “I mean…”

“Nobody here has more than two middle names, you’re good,” Barbara waved off her concern.

“Oh, thank God.  I didn’t want to upset anyone,” she let out a relieved breath.

“No, just entrap Dick and use us for our money,” Damian bit out.

“Damian!” Bruce chastised.

“Damian…” Dick growled lowly.  Damian steadfastly avoided Cass’s disapproving frown and Dick’s angry glare.

“Marinette, I apologize for my son’s bluntness.  I’ve tried to instill better manners in my children,” Bruce leveled a warning look at Damian.

Marinette blinked a few times and nodded.  “Honesty is a virtue,” she started out slowly.  “It’s good to be suspicious.  I was of anyone who seemed to warm up too quickly to my friends who had assets others might want to take advantage of.  A little bit of skepticism is healthy.  And at least you’re being honest about it.  Most of my friends wouldn’t be if the roles were reversed.” She chuckled slightly before turning toward Bruce.  “There’s a respect in that.  I know where he stands.  He isn’t pretending.  There’s no duplicity, no illusions, no pretending for the sake of politeness.  You don’t know me and this,” she motioned to her belly, “is a lot all of a sudden to take in, and not just for you.”

“There’s no way she could have intentionally trapped me.  I was the one who provided everything, as I’ve said before,” Dick pointed out, his voice sharp and defensive of anyone questioning Marinette.

“Unless it isn’t yours,” Damian hedged coldly.

“Demon Spawn, I swear to…” Jason threw down his fork and started to get up.

“Damian, you will treat our guest with respect or you will go to your room,” Bruce thundered.

“Wow, you are really unafraid.  I bet you’re a fearsome sight in any kind of competition.” Marinette sent him an impressed smile.  “That’s a valid question.  I guess the only way to be absolutely sure is with a blood test and if Dick would like one, I’ll agree to it… after the baby is born.  I’m not going to subject the baby to unnecessary dangers just to prove a point.”

“I don’t,” Dick assured her.  “I don’t need it.  I have no doubts.”  Marinette’s eyes shined with appreciation and leaned into Dick as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“But your family might,” she pointed out quietly.  “It’s a reasonable request.  Believe me when I say if something like this happened to Adrien, Chloe would openly be on a warpath and Alya would be doing all kinds of duplicitous, questionably legal investigations into the woman.”

“Good friends,” Cass commented quietly.

“Yeah, I think I’d like them,” Stephanie agreed.

“And they would demand a blood test, so I understand and take no offense,” Marinette assured them.

“We don’t need it,” Tim spoke up.

“Speak for yourself,” Damian grumbled.

“That’s it Damian, go to your room,” Bruce barked.  Damian huffed and pushed away from the table, leaving without a backwards glance.  

“Perhaps it is time to retire to the living room with dessert,” Alfred offered, giving Damian a disappointed look as he passed him out of the room.  As soon as everyone except Damian was settled in the living room, Alfred brought out the macarons, setting them on the table in the room.  “Provided by Miss Marinette.”

“Oh, these look delicious.  What are the flavors?” Bruce asked eying the cookies.

“The purple ones are lavender and honey.  Dark brown is chocolate hazelnut.  Light brown is salted caramel.  Yellow is lemon.  And pink is raspberry.”

“Holy shit, Pixie!” Jason exclaimed swallowing his bite.  “These are good.”

“Jason, language, please,” Bruce repeated in a tired voice.

Cass gave her a thumbs up and grabbed another flavor.

“If you don’t marry her, I will.” Stephanie agreed, shoving her second macaron into her mouth.

Marinette giggled.  “Good to know I have backup options.”

Dick narrowed his eyes playfully and wrapped his arms around her protectively. “That’s it we’re going home. You’re not allowed around my family anymore.”

Marinette laughed harder and cuddled into him, resting her head on his shoulder and humming contentedly as he squeezed her tighter against his side.

Chapter 11

Tags:

@dickinette-february @demonicbusiness @ichigorose @iloontjeboontje @ladybug-182 @toodaloo-kangaroo @dast218 @golden-promises @trippingovermyfeet @emimar7 @laurcad123

[collectivefandomstuff]

Title: A Hindering Hand Type: Fanfic, crossposted to AO3 (https://archiveofourown.org/works/27270097) Status: Complete. Chapter: 1/1. Fandom: DC/Batman Rating: T Warnings: Language. Beta: No beta we die like Jason Todd and also Damian Pairings: None. Word Count: 4k+ Genre: Humour/Comedy Characters: Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Stephanie Brown, Damian Wayne. Summary: When Dick is refused the opportunity to coddle Damian, he decides to lavish his other siblings with his questionably helpful assistance. They are palpably ungrateful.

Excerpt: Damian didn’t answer the first time, so Jason made use of his annoying gene(s) and called him over and over until he picked up. “Todd,” Damian snarled, “I am at school. I realise that you were incapable of finishing your formal education but-” “Your fucking Dick of a brother broke into my apartment and re-decorated my living room.” Jason informed him. 

”You have got to be kidding me.”

Jason stared at what used to be his perfectly clean kitchen; now a hollowed out shell of its former self. Cabinet doors were thrown open, his carefully organised supplies haphazardly shuffled around. Every single counter and parts of the floor was covered in flour, cocoa, and something wet and heretofore unidentified. He didn’t even want to look closer at the stove or the sink, both filled with sticky, clearly misused, pots and pans. There was a smell hanging in the air, the same one that had set his inner alarm bells off when he entered the apartment: burnt sugar and something that smelled suspiciously like rotten fruit. Jason took a deep breath to stop himself from just whipping out his guns and shooting at the mess. It would be cathartic, but ultimately unhelpful. Instead, he fished his phone out of his front pocket and thumbed through his contacts.

He got through two rings before the line opened.

“He got you too?” Tim said on the other end. His tone reminded Jason of Bruce, which was usually a clear indication that Tim was fucking done.

“How can he be this useless?” Jason ground out.

“He was raised by Alfred.”

“So was I. And you.” “Fine. He was spoiled by Bruce.” “uh-huh,” Jason agreed, daring to move into his living room. Thankfully, the carnage hadn’t spread there, though there was an oven pan, placed strategically in the middle of his coffee table. The contains looked like what Jason imagined “dubious food” in Zelda looked like in real life. “I have to stop hanging out with you,” he told Tim. “Why?” “I just made a video game reference in my head.” “Which game?” “Not the point.” “I mean-” Tim began, but before he got any further into arguing why the specific game was “of import” to the discussion -fucking dweeb -Jason cut him off: “I’m going to kill him.” Tim was quiet for a moment. “What did he do exactly?” “Hi Little Wing,” Jason recited from the note that had been stuck underneath his brand new fucking oven pan Dick you bastard that was expensive. “I made you some brownies!” Jason stopped to look closer at the brown sludge that he was pretty sure was stuck to the bottom of his new pan. Martha herself recommended it, Dick goddammit. “I hope they turned out all right! Don’t work too much! D.” There was a pause. “Did they turn out all right?” asked Tim. “No,” Jason gritted his teeth, “No, they did not.” “He’s really on a spree this week.” “Yeah?” Jason muttered absently, poking at the sludge with his gloved finger. It jiggled. Somehow, that made everything so much worse. “Mm,” Tim said, and Jason could hear the tapping of computer keys in the background which meant that he had about 30% of Tim’s attention. “He hit Cass and Steph a few days ago. I guess since Cass is staying there when she’s in town he thought it was two for one. Tried to do their laundry.” “Why haven’t they killed him?” “They’re working on big drug bust. So, no time.” “Well I have time.” Jason groused, already trying to reorganize his plans for the evening. He would need at least three hours to repair the damage Dick had done to his kitchen. “Good,” Tim said, his voice cold, “because so do I.” Jason stopped trying to figure out how many new appliances he would need to buy to focus for a moment. “What did he do to you?” Tim was silent for a long while, then: “He tried to clean my apartment.” Jason shuddered. On one hand, he understood the compulsion. His replacement’s usual idea “clean” was “nothing hazardous is currently growing somewhere”. Still, the only thing worse than Dick trying to clean was Bruce trying to clean. Or cook. Or do laundry. Or vacuum. The Batman he may be, but Jason had never met a more incompetent homemaker in his life. Once, Bruce had tried to dust a little and they had to call the fire department. “And?” He prompted. “He moved everything,” Tim said, deceptively calm, “and threw out at least thirty-four irreplaceable things.” Oh shit. There was a reason why Jason stomped down the urge to clean Tim’s apartment. He once moved an old magazine when the younger boy wasn’t even there and the next day he got received three upset calls and a computer virus for his trouble. “He re-organised my desk. My cases. My clues.” Tim continued to rattle off. “And he didn’t even manage to clean properly. I’m pretty sure he tried to scrub my TV with vinegar.” Jason bit his lip to keep from laughing. Looks like Tim got it worse. “Shut up,” said Tim grouchily. “I didn’t say anything.” “You were laughing at me.” How- Jason’s hand clenched around the phone. “I told you to stop putting cameras in my apartment.” Tim snorted. “So find them and take them down. Think of it as practice,” he said, lilting the word “practice” in the same way Bruce usually did. “You’re such a creeper.” “Says the murderous crime lord.” “At least I’m not a stalker.” “Have you checked your bottom cabinets yet?” Jason stilled at the sudden change of subject. “Why?” “Looks like the re-organising urge lived on.” Oh, he had better fucking not. Jason stepped back into his kitchen and, with the care of someone opening a bomb case, edged open the door to his pots- and pans cabinet. He came face to face with his toaster, nestled between a pasta drainer and three boxes of cereal that he had not owned this morning. It was the sugary shit too. “Son of a-” “I think he put your spatulas in the fridge,” Tim said cheerily. Jason was going to wring his little neck. Right after he had stomped on Dick until the unbridled rage in his chest went away. “This is why I don’t want any contact with this family for-” “You know why he’s doing this right?” Tim queried lightly. Jason frowned. “I don’t keep track of the family gossip, pretender. I have better things to do with my time.” Tim made an offended noise at being called “pretender”. “Fine. Then why don’t you try to make him stop and call me when he’s tried to clean your guns?” Jason rolled his eyes. The dramatics, honestly. Bruce 2.0. “Why is he doing this, Tim?” He asked reluctantly. Tim sniffed. “Damian told Dick that he wasn’t needed at the moment, which was the little brat’s way of trying to get Dick to take some time to de-stress, but obviously Dick took this to mean that Damian has cast him aside and considers him a bad parental figure.” Jason spent a good few seconds rethinking the whole “moving back to Gotham” idea. He could just… leave and never talk to this insane family ever again. It was entirely doable. Just, one little call to Roy and hasta la vista you absolute nutjobs. He sighed. “So we have to talk to the demon child?” He asked tiredly. “Yeah pretty much.” “I still think my first plan was better.” “If you kill Dick, the family will never leave you alone.” That was a surprisingly good point. Dammit. “Can I punch him a little?” “I’d encourage it.” “Hey,” said Jason suspiciously, “just what are you planning to do him exactly?” “Honestly?” Tim replied. “I’m going to send a false tip to the department of Agriculture, fabricate evidence, and make them recall his favourite cereal.” Jesus fucking Christ this family was a pizza bagel of crazy with a sociopath topping.

-

It took them a while to track down Robin during patrol, and when they managed to find him they were met with immediate resistance. Which, taking into consideration who they were, wasn’t all that surprising. “Calm down.” Red Hood said placatingly while he jumped out of range from Robin’s swords. “We just wanted to talk to you about N-” He dodged a batarang that was clearly aimed at his throat. Add psychopath topping to that pizza bagel. “Would you knock it off,” Red Robin snarled, spinning out of the way when Robin spun to aim a kick at his stomach. Hood seized the opportunity and darted in to restrain the tiny beast that, let’s be real, was absolute proof that Bruce should not be allowed to procreate. Robin thrashed in his hold for a good three minutes before he finally settled down, glaring murderously at Red. “What do you want?” Robin spat. Even when Hood could feel him literally vibrating with supressed rage, he still kept perfect syntax. No abbreviations here. Little freak. “We need you to call N,” Red said. He looked a little ruffled and more than a little miffed. “I will do no such thing,” Robin sniffed. “Think again,” Hood said in his ear, letting his voice drop into a menacing tone. “Look,” Red Robin said. His hair was sticking up at the back after the struggle and he looked real fed up with this. Hood could relate. “N is running himself ragged trying to prove he’s a good parent or something and you need to make him quit before he injures himself.” Robin stilled. “What would Grayson be doing that would cause him such stress?” “He’s cooking,” Hood drawled. “And cleaning,” Red added. Robin’s whole body tensed. “I will take care of it.” He declared imperiously. Hood looked at Red, who shrugged. Yeah, good enough, I guess.

-

It was not good enough, he guessed, Jason realised as he took in what used to be his living room, but was now a cut out of a living room no one would ever willingly ”live” in from Garishly Tasteless Designs Magazine. He had his phone up and dialling before his eyes had even swept up the full length of the dirt-yellow curtains. It took a while to get the full effect of them, because he kept getting distracted by the frills and the suspiciously Nightwing-esque pattern. “Yeah?” Tim answered on the other end of the line. His voice said he was knee deep in something and wasn’t really paying attention. Probably his revenge plan, which Jason was seeing in a whole new light right now. “He redecorated.” Jason’s voice was so low it was almost a growl. There was a pause. “It didn’t stop?” Tim sounded much more alert and aware this time. “No it did I just went out and bought this lime green couch myself from Blind, Bath and Beyond,” Jason snapped. He heard Tim groan into the receiver. “But we even talked to Damian,” his replacement whined. Like he had anything to complain about. His living room didn’t have- was that a fucking Billy the Bass? Jason was going to shove his guns so far- “I’m calling the brat,” Jason ground out before hanging up and redialling. Damian didn’t answer the first time, so Jason made use of his annoying gene(s) and called him over and over until he picked up. “Todd,” Damian snarled, “I am at school. I realise that you were incapable of finishing your formal education but-” “Your fucking Dick of a brother broke into my apartment and re-decorated my living room.” Jason informed grimly. “He- you must be mistaken.” “Look, kid, there aren’t a lot of things I know, what with my not completing my formal education and all, but if there is one thing I will never unlearn it’s how to spot Dick Grayson’s fucking taste in fabrics.” “I see.” No, you little shit. You don’t see. Jason was the one who was cursed with seeing this absolute monstrosity of a- was that crystal?! “You said you were handling it,” Jason reminded him, firmly putting his back to the living room. Looking at it was bad for his blood pressure. “I do not understand.” Damian said seriously. “I specifically told Grayson to stop bothering you and go back to Blüdhaven where he could be of use.” Oh. Oh Damian. Jason resisted the urge to smack the phone into his face. Sometimes Damian’s age and social inexperience really shone through. Jason took a deep breath to keep from screaming. “Listen, Damian.” Jason said carefully. “Dick is feeling a little neglected right now, and what he needs, what we asked you to do, was to start hanging out with him again.” “-tt-” Damian was probably rolling his eyes. Jason could have Tim check later, he was sure the little creep had cameras in every building in the city. “That is preposterous!” “No,” Jason said dangerously, “it’s not. So now would you just call him and tell him you need help with your homework or something?” It was truly a testament to Jason’s level of desperation that he was willing to be this nice and patient. “Grayson needs to rest-” “Just FUCKING CALL HIM!!” Ok, so there was a limit to that patience. Oh well, he was only human. Damian, however, apparently thought that this was one indignity too far because the call disconnected. Jason glanced behind him and immediately regretted it. Porcelain figurines. Oh, how he missed the days when he was a big-name villain, and the only thing Dick did was fight him. In the corner, a cuckoo clock struck seven and a tiny robin popped out and chirped at him. Jason’s vision blurred with sickly green for a moment. Yeah, he was staying in a safe house tonight.

-

It took for days of no progress and Tim having his entire coffee-stash replaced with decaf (“cheap decaf, Jason. Low-level, buy in bulk decaf.”) before they threw in the towel and went to the manor. The estate looked as menacing to him now as it had when Jason first saw it as a little kid from Crime Alley. It probably always would, no matter how many times he was back. If Tim was feeling apprehensive, it didn’t show. He just looked grumpy, like a particularly displeased cat. His replacement rapped his knuckles on the door and stepped back to cross his arms, frowning. He looked very intimidating. Like a squirrel with an anger management problem. The door swung open to reveal Steph, dressed in a t-shirt that Jason was pretty sure wasn’t supposed to be a splotchy pale blue. Her jeans looked new. “He’s not here,” Steph told them in a biting tone. “Who?” Tim asked. “Dick. Though for the record we have to come up with a new name for him because ‘Dick’ is going to be real ironic soon.” And whoa, Steph did know how to look properly intimidating. “What’d he do?” Jason asked her. Stephanie stepped back to let them inside. “There was an incident with a waffle iron,” she said icily. “He tried to cook?” Tim guessed, taking off his shoes. “He tried to laminate.” Steph corrected. Tim grimaced. “Is Damian here?” Steph snorted. “Damian is useless. We need to strike back.” She lowered her voice, her eyes cold. “And strike hard.” Damn, if this continued, Dick wouldn’t even be allowed back into Gotham. Actually, yeah he would. Only Batman could bar people from entering Gotham, apparently. Because Bruce was only one with any rights around here, that fucking- He was getting off subject. Also, not paying attention. “-alking to Dick,” Tim was saying, “trying to talk to him is a good way to make this worse.” “I wasn’t suggesting we talk to him.” Steph said, cracking her knuckles. Tim looked unimpressed, which frankly impressed Jason a little. Stephanie was scary. Not Batman scary but- Hang on. “Hang on,” Jason said, holding his hand up for emphasis, “Batman is the only one who can bar someone from coming to Gotham.” “What the hell is your point, zombie boy?” Steph asked, crossing her arms. “We don’t need to redirect Dickies attention back to Damian. We just need to redirect it. To someone.” Jason grinned at them and it probably only looked about 30% insane. “Someone with the power to stop him.” Understanding dawned on Stephanie and Tim’s faces. “Someone who deserves to have his clothes ruined,” Steph whispered reverently. “Someone who has time to redecorate because he doesn’t have a job,” Tim added gleefully, “someone who flounces into board meetings too late and does nothing.” “Exactly.”

-

Tracking down Nightwing turned out to be the easiest thing they’d had to do so far. He didn’t even try to avoid them. “Hey guys!” N smiled cheerily at them as if he hadn’t spent the last two weeks putting them through some kind of Donna Reed inspired psychological torture. “Nightwing.” Red Robin greeted coldly and, yeah, in costume the replacement could totally pull off intimidating. “Whoa, what’s with the murder faces?” Nightwing said, stepping off the ledge he’d been standing on and walking closer. Hood crossed his arms. “You’ve been busy lately,” he commented and even the helmet couldn’t filter away the unvoiced insult at the end. “I guess?” N replied. “Did you like the brownies?” Hood tried to remember that they weren’t here to beat him senseless. Based on Spoiler’s clenched fists it seemed like he wasn’t the only one struggling with that. “N,” Red Robin said with the calm voice he usually reserved for interrogating suspects, “we appreciate you trying to… help us.” On “help us” Red’s voice broke through the calm and straight into “I’m going to kill you and bury you in store-brand decaf coffee” territory. “But we really are doing fine on our own.” Nightwing pursed his lips. “You are all working so hard-” he started, but Red cut him off. “Yes, and that’s why we appreciate it. But we’re actually worried about someone else, who needs your help a lot more than we do.” Nightwing paused and Hood could almost see the gears in his head whirring. “Who? Damian?” “Not Damian,” Red said, because they all knew it wouldn’t work to say it was Damian, “B.” Nightwing crossed his arms. “You think B needs help?” And here was the fragile part of their plan. Hood cleared his throat. “B,” he said, trying to keep his tone civil, “works himself to the bone and he doesn’t accept help from any of us.” “He has Alfie though,” N argued. “Alfie is busy taking care of Damian, since you’re not helping him as much anymore.” Spoiler rebutted. And damn, blondie, good answer. “We struggle too,” Red said, “but we help each other, right guys?” “Uh-huh,” Spoiler agreed. “Right.” Hood lied, thankful that the helmet veiled his eyeroll. “You guys help each other out,” Nightwing said with obvious disbelief. “You.” “Red is always helping me with cases,” Spoiler said, “and studies and stuff too. And I help him with staying alive and acting like a human.” Red nodded. “And Red and I work together on cases,” Hood said truthfully. “And sometimes Hood makes sure I eat and stuff,” Red added, “and I help him with security.” “They also hang out and play video games and watch nerdy movies,” Spoiler revealed. The little snitch. “Really?” Nightwing said, looking between the three of them. “That’s great!” He shuffled around a little. “So, you guys don’t need me either, huh?” Oh god. Oh dear god it was the voice. The patented Richard Grayson sad-and-feeling-neglected voice. The voice that could inspire shame and guilt in the most hard boiled criminal. At least he was wearing the mask so he couldn’t give them the accompanying puppy eyes. “Well,” Spoiler said and Hood could see her wavering. She didn’t have the years of experience needed to withstand Dick’s manipulation. “But B does!” Tim exclaimed, dragging Spoiler to stand behind him. Good move. “And the little brat too, even though he doesn’t admit it.” Hood added. Nightwing bit his lip. “Look,” Red’s voice was genuine now, “we all really do appreciate it, but B and Dami need your help more. And frankly, the last time I saw B he looked dead on his feet. We’re all good. But he isn’t. He sleeps less than I do.” Maybe that was even true. Huh. Were they doing B a solid here? Wait, no. No they weren’t. It was recommended by Martha, Dick you absolute menace. “Ok, I hear you.” N said solemnly. “I just wanted to help out.” Martha. Think about Martha. “We know,” Red said, patting N on the back. It was really awkward. “Did I tell you B has started eating power bars for dinner?” “Wait, seriously?” Nightwing looked disturbed. “That’s so bad for you.” “Yeah,” Hood said as if he hadn’t watched Red do that at least three dozen times, “he’s really setting a bad example for li’l D, isn’t he?” He thought Red might have done the wave if he could have. Hood certainly wanted to give himself the wave for that stroke of genius. “Okay, I know you guys are manipulating me,” Nightwing told them drily. Shit. “But you have a point.” Oh thank Jesus. N stretched. “Well,” he said, “I’m going to make sure B doesn’t kill himself. And yes, I’ll stop helping you guys.” He shook his head. “You three should really open up more, you know?” They nodded, because at this point they would do anything to make him stop “helping out”. Red cleared his throat. “So, good luck, uhm...” Nightwing grinned. “I’ll stop, but you all have to give me a hug before I leave.” Fuck. N pounced on Red like a jaguar on a gazelle, completely ignoring the scandalised (and very undignified) “meep” Red let out. Hood turned around, ready to make a run for it. “If you leave before a hug I’ll make you dinner next time!” Nightwing called cheerfully, still holding onto Red Robin like he was a life vest. Triple fuck. Hood sighed. The things you do to not have your living room secretly re-decorated.

-

As awful as it was to get cuddled by Nightwing, it was all worth it about a week later, when Tim climbed in through his living room window for their bi-weekly movie night. This week: when the great go bad- The Godfather 3, X-Men: The Last Stand, and Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions. “I see you got rid of the ruffles,” Tim remarked. “You didn’t see that on your stalker cam?” “I’ve been busy watching Bruce lately.” “Oh?” Jason prompted, putting the pizza boxes on the coffee-table. “He tried to call me five times today,” Tim said. He walked over and got two beers out of the fridge. Jason sniggered. “It’s that bad?” “He’s only got one target now. B is about to break.” “Tell me more, tell me more,” Jason said, making himself comfortable on his new -fucking stylish thank you very much -couch. “Like, did he do something to his car?” “I can’t believe you just made a Grease reference, you absolute nerd,” Tim commented flatly. “Musicals are cool,” Jason told him. Because it was true and he would fight anyone who said otherwise. “Was Olivia Newton John your childhood crush or something?” “Who’s to say it wasn’t Travolta?” Tim gave him a deadpan stare. “Because,” he said drily, “unlike Dick, you actually have taste.” Jason mulled that over. “Touché." He shrugged. "Now tell me about B.” Tim looked up from where he was connecting his computer to the TV and grinned sharply. “You want to experience what the Germans call ‘Schadenfreude’?” “Hell yeah I do.” Tim hit a key on his laptop and the Cave flickered into view on Jason’s TV. At least, he thought it was the cave. “Is that?” “He re-decorated the cave.” Tim laughed. It was not a nice laugh. Jason approved. On the screen, Bruce had just entered through the door to the storage area and was making his way to the computer. Trailing after him with a plate of questionable looking sandwiches was Dick. Jason nabbed a beer from the coffee table and leaned back against the couch. “Oh we are so watching this tonight. Sofia can wait.” “I made a compilation of the past week,” Tim said smugly, picking up the other beer and folding himself into Jason’s new armchair. It was beige and, most importantly, neither pea-green nor suede. On screen Bruce collapsed into his new, avant-garde office chair and put his head in his hands while Dick chatted pleasantly in his ear. “You know,” Tim said thoughtfully while Dick re-arranged Bruce’s files, “sometimes I think he’s being purposefully bad at this.” “Why?” “Oh just,” Tim reached for the pizza and Jason handed him the box, “whenever he starts doing this, we all have to interact with each other to make him stop. Like how you and I only started hanging out to begin with because he kept breaking into our safe houses to make ‘breakfast’. Well, that and that time he gave you a haircut in you sleep.” Jason stilled with his beer halfway to his mouth. “He…” Oh god. “That’s totally what he’s doing isn’t it?” Tim looked at him over his slice of pepperoni. “Yeah, probably.” Jason slammed his bear down on the table. “THAT SNEAKY FUCKING BASTARD!” Jason glared at Tim, the proof of Dick's successful manipulation. He didn't even like the replacement. Why the hell was he hanging out with him? Stupid, meddling big brothers who ruin your life. "It's okay," Tim reached over and patted his hand, "I just confirmed that they're taking his cereal off the shelves this week." And yeah, that made it a little better, actually. "I still don't like you." He told Tim. "I know. Wanna watch Bruce find out that Dick redid his wardrobe?" "Yeah ok," Jason grumbled. Maybe, he admitted to himself only, the replacement wasn't all bad. The screen zoomed in on Bruce's expression as he came face to face with a sequined suit. Yeah, Jason thought, taking another sip of beer, not all bad.

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 5x06- And the two partners had a fight...

I’ve been waiting for this episode for nearly a decade, and I didn’t even realize it. More under the cut. 

(This is very long! Please fight me on stuff and disagree because I just wrote all these words about this episode and I STILL want to talk about it more, it was that interesting!) 

This is the second episode in a row to start off with a TikTok video. 5x02 and 5x03 both ended with elevators. Is there some sort of pattern they’re going for here?  

This case—which is, it’s important to note, in Wackner’s court—is about TikTok content creators and copyright laws. Probably not enough material for a full case, but definitely an interesting theme to explore.

Marissa doesn’t have her laptop volume off (which I suppose makes sense; she was just playing the TikTok videos) and a notification sounds. She shuts the laptop.

Wackner rules that the profits made from the TikTok dance must be split evenly between the guy who stole the dance for his video game and the creator. The thief does not like this, removes his moose costume (oh, yeah, did I mention they’re in costumes again?), and starts shouting that he’s going to sue and then moons the whole court. Okay!

He follows through on his threat, and next thing we know, Liz, Cord, Wackner, and Marissa are meeting to discuss strategy.

Liz’s computer makes the same noise Marissa’s did; she punches some keys.

Liz points out that Wackner’s biggest problem is that real judges are not going to like Wackner playacting as a judge. “I’m not playing a judge. I am a judge,” Wackner says. Liz notes that Wackner’s court lacks any way of forcing people to comply with his rulings, but real court can shut him down.

I guess whatever keys Liz punched did not silence the annoying notification sound.

She asks Wackner to try not to become the focus of the court case, since that’s how they’ll lose. “This is why I started a court,” Wackner says after Liz instructs him to only answer yes or no and to wear a suit.  

Liz asks Marissa to keep Wackner in line. She says she’ll try.

Now we are at the Black Lawyers Association, where there’s a panel with leaders from Chicago’s four top black law firms. For reasons passing understanding, DIANE is on this panel. This makes absolutely no sense (I mean, unless only white people were involved in this decision, and even then!) and I’ll only excuse it because they mention later that it makes no sense for Diane to have been on this panel.  

I wonder why everyone else’s firm gets named but not Diane’s.  

Diane also gets the first question, which is, pointedly, about opportunities for black lawyers. Her phone starts making the annoying notification sound. Ever heard of silent mode??  

The annoying sound happens every five seconds at the RL offices. According to David Lee, it happens twenty times an hour, but it seems like more than that! He, for some reason, goes to Carmen to ask how to stop the sound. He also wants to know what it is. Carmen explains that it is “Dawnk” which is a new messaging system within the company.  

On Dawnk, you can talk about anything you want and be anonymous. Who approved this?! In one frame, I can see there’s someone complaining about someone being promoted too fast because of “the future is female bs.” In another, someone is upset that they are anonymous and wants to use their real name (only Jay, who is otherwise absent from this episode, seems to have figured out how to turn this anon mode off).

Sorry, before I can get on board with this plot, I just need to note for the record how phenomenally stupid the idea of using anonymous messaging software within a company is. This was obviously not going to end well! It’s like workplace YikYak... (remember YikYak?!)  

David Lee hates the idea of a messaging software; Carmen says the associates prefer this.  

Jay is being very nice in the chat and defends the person who was promoted “too fast”.

“Who’s ‘Anonymous Crab’?” David Lee asks. Well, I think the fact they are “anonymous” should be a bit of a hint there, David.  

Anonymous Crab asks, “How the hell did this happen??! How did Diane end up at a Black Conference speaking for our firm?” Good question, Anonymous Crab.

Anon Crab also shares a video and David Lee doesn’t understand how to press play. Carmen plays it for him. Diane looks really awful on the panel. No shit! David Lee seems to enjoy Diane looking bad, even though he should be able to connect the dots between Diane looking bad and potential for bad things to come for the firm...  

Not only does Diane get quizzed about why she’s running a firm that is still insisting on calling itself a black firm, she also gets questions about her insurrectionist husband. “He was completely cleared of those charges,” Diane notes. Oh, hey!!!!! Remember how last week I said I’d be more surprised if that was the end of the FBI nonsense than if it continued? I am surprised!! And relieved. Mostly relieved. Dealing with the consequences of that high profile, relationship-straining ordeal is so much more interesting to me than any FBI machinations.  

Next Diane is asked if Kurt just took a job to revitalize the NRA. She hasn’t heard of this yet. I’m glad she’s getting grilled on this stuff... it is about time.  

There’s a hint that Carmen will be representing Mr. Rapey next week. I assume that’s why there’s a line where David checks in with Carmen on Mr. Rapey’s case?  

Anon Platypus says, “I heard she didn’t even have seniority. She just jumped past other black partners to become our name partner. It’s crazy!!!” Anon Platypus is correct—technically. Diane was a name partner at one of Chicago’s top firms before joining RL, so while she skipped the line... that doesn’t seem to me like the PRIMARY issue in bringing her on. The primary issue is that bringing on someone that senior from outside the company is more similar to a merger than a promotion, and Diane’s partnership meant changes for the firm.  

Other anonymous animals also don’t like Diane. One calls her clueless; another says that “Liz needs to do something about this.” Someone responds to that, “Liz will never do it on her own,” which is an interesting sentiment I want to come back to in a little bit.  

“What is Black Twitter?” David Lee asks Liz out of the blue. “People on Twitter who are black and talk to each other,” Liz responds. David Lee asks how he can find it. “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you,” Liz jokes. And to think Jay said Liz wasn’t funny!  

The Dawnk conversation shifts and now everyone’s ragging on Julius for representing Kurt and just generally being a Trump voter. There’s a lot of heated and racial language I’m not going to type here, enough to make Julius spit out his coffee and storm down to the associate floor.

He goes to Devin, who I’m not sure if we’ve seen before but is high ranking enough to have Lucca’s old office, to get information on the anonymous posts.

Anonymous Bison says, “Unpopular opinion: I blame Adrian.” Hey, Anon Bison, let’s be friends! I am with you. Adrian is the one who brought Diane on, who encouraged them to lean into Julius’s Trump connections, and who pushed the firm to pursue profit over everything else. Diane and Julius aren’t blameless (though I don’t actually think defending Kurt is a bad thing) but if there’s someone who actively strategized to make RL what it is today? Adrian all the way.  

In what world does noting that Julius is pissed in an anonymous message do ANYTHING to stop people who are pissed at him? If they were that concerned about him being pissed they wouldn’t have said anything in the first place.  

Liz and opposing counsel talk over each other in court until the judge makes them stop. I think we’ve seen both the judge and opposing counsel this season, making me wonder if there’s a bit of a COVID bubble situation going on here with the guest stars.  

Judge Farley jokes about “contempt cards” that go up in value and Wackner, of course, is all, “Wow, I really love that.”  

Liz, whose entire strategy was to not let on that anyone calls Wackner a judge, refers to Wackner as “Judge Wackner.” Come on, Liz! (I buy that she’d slip up—there's no one in the world I wouldn’t believe slipping up—but ugh!)  

How did the opposition not realize that they could make this about Wackner’s “crazy court” by referring to him as Judge Wackner? You’d think they’d be all over that.  

Judge Farley looks SO unhappy that Wackner would refer to himself as a judge; it’s phenomenal.  

Now Marissa stumbles over stuff because she’s, for some reason, speaking in court. I bought Liz’s dumb moment more.  

The plaintiff’s strategy is to make it look like Wackner is of unsound mind, and they’ve got video evidence. Remember how Del, Cord, and Wackner all chatted in the RL elevator? Well, turns out that lead to a reality show about Wackner for Del’s streaming service. Sounds about right.  

I don’t really think Wackner cares about attention or anyone else’s motivations... I think he just likes the idea of budget and an audience and a platform.  

Liz meets Del for a romantic dinner and asks him when he was going to tell her about Wackner’s show. Del doesn’t understand why she’s upset. He doesn’t get why he would’ve needed her permission to go into business with Wackner. (I don’t think he’s wrong from a business POV, but from a relationship POV, he totally should’ve let her know!)  

Liz says he should’ve asked because they’re using it against her in court. “That is unfortunate, baby, but this streaming show could be really good for Wackner. It’ll draw attention to his court. And... as I say that...that sounds... okay, look I’m sorry,” Del realizes. I like that he sees that Liz has a point. He goes on to note that he would be totally open to Liz trying to go into business with any of his acquaintances, and I think he genuinely means it.  

Del notes that this is what “power couples” do. Oh? So they’re an official couple? Don’t power couples also associate in public and not hide their relationship from their colleagues?  

This is the place where I note, yet again, that it is always going to be more interesting to see a relationship that feels realistic than to see a relationship that feels like it takes place in a vacuum.  

Liz doesn’t want Wackner becoming popular. Del argues someone else would’ve made the show if he didn’t, and that “disrupters gotta disrupt.” Oh God.  

Are we going to remember that Liz has a child at any point this season?  

Diane is reading the Dawnk discussion at home. It’s still lively even after work hours. The associates appear to be discussing the vaccine before someone changes the topic to “the Diane situation.”

One associate notes that the partners probably aren’t happy about Diane either and just have to vote her out. Kurt arrives home as Diane reads this, reacts to the loud music Diane has playing, the open alcohol, and her general demeanor and asks if they’re getting drunk. “Are we getting a job with the NRA?” she counters.  

Turns out it’s not entirely untrue about Kurt and the NRA. They want him for a new role. It would pay $167,000. I can’t decide if I think that’s a lot (objectively that’s a high salary) or not very much at all (isn’t Kurt the top of his field?)  

Kurt notes he doesn’t have a job so he’s considering it. “Diane, our politics are very different,” he starts. “I know,” Diane says. “I’m, lately, struck by just how different they are.”

“I would just like one week when I don’t have to defend you,” Diane says in frustration. Kurt doesn’t even know what that means at the current moment.  

“You’ll tell me when they offer you the job?” Diane asks. “They may not offer it,” Kurt says. “No, they will,” Diane says, because she knows that it’s basically a done deal already.  

In the middle of the night, Diane turns to Kurt and tries to ask him a question. That wakes him up. She asks who he voted for in 2020 and he doesn’t answer. Uh oh.  

Dreaming now, Diane sits up and asks, “Hello? What do I do?” More on that later...

The HR nightmare known as Dawnk is still going wild the next day at the office. (Seriously, with HR that strict, the anon feature would’ve been disabled the second the first semi-controversial comment was posted.) Everyone’s obsessed.  

The partners, minus Diane, all gather in Liz’s office to discuss Dawnk (and the topics of conversation on Dawnk). Madeline says they should ignore it. I say they should make STR Laurie shut it down and be the bad guy. It is nonsensical that this workplace would continue to allow Dawnk to continue! In addition to being an HR nightmare, it’s also a drain on productivity if everyone’s constantly glued to it, and I imagine STR Laurie cares about profit more than anything else.  

But like I really don’t get why Madeline says they can’t censor their associates. Of course they can shut down the app if they want to! Someone put the app there in the first place, no? I do understand not wanting to look like you’re violating free speech (even though taking away anonymous commenting in the workplace would not be a violation of free speech) but I highly doubt it would be only the partners complaining. Tina, whose promotion was called into question, would be complaining too. Anyone trying to get work done, or anyone who didn’t like the toxic culture, or anyone who was uncomfortable with a joke made, would be complaining. There are more than enough reasons it would be perfectly acceptable to take the anon commenting away.

Now the partners are fighting about Kurt’s case too. “Diane is not responsible for her husband,” Liz says when Madeline says that Diane should’ve known better than to get involved. Um, Liz, Madeline is right. Diane isn’t responsible for Kurt’s actions but she’s sure as hell responsible for volunteering to represent him.  

“In the real world of this firm, Diane’s billable hours speak for themselves,” Liz notes when a partner tries to call Diane’s unsavory associations into question.  

“The rest of us put in the hours too, for the record,” notes another partner. I’m sure... but do you put in DIANE’S hours and have DIANE’S client list? My guess is no. If Diane weren’t the biggest earner at the firm we wouldn’t be having this debate. She’d just be gone. She’d never have been at the firm to begin with.  

“Liz, when I joined this firm, it was because of your father’s legacy. It was about Black civil rights, activism, justice. That’s what people talked about in meetings. Now, people talk about billable hours, million-dollar clients, corporate payouts. Now, I know it’s not your fault. That was Boseman’s vision and we were trying to survive the Trump years by bringing in white lawyers, but those days are gone. They’re done with. And I miss being a strong black firm,” Madeline says. Everyone but Liz (and probably Julius) seems to agree with that.

This is one of many interesting facets of this issue. When Madeline argues against Diane, she’s not just arguing that she wants a black person running the firm for optics. She’s not saying that Diane-but-black would be an acceptable choice. She is saying she wants RL to be the firm it was at the very very start of the show—a firm committed to social justice, not maximizing revenue. A firm that didn’t just accept every client that came their way because they love profit. A firm that stood for something. So my question is: Does Liz want that firm?  

Liz is hard to read throughout this whole plot, and I think that may be intentional. Liz isn’t a manager by training—she was an AUSA who suddenly became a name partner at a firm (if you want to talk about seniority and skipping the line, Liz is a way better example than Diane—you can even through some nepotism, twice over, in there). She doesn’t seem to have a clear goal for her firm other than maintaining the status quo and keeping power. Liz not taking a stronger stance from the start (either accepting that they are no longer going to be a social justice-oriented firm or pushing to get them back to that place) allows these kinds of questions to fester. It’s my hope that this becomes text instead of subtext pretty soon, ‘cause this is the kind of thing that if it’s subtext for too long will start to feel like bad writing/Liz being conveniently clueless. It’s way more interesting if Liz is just not yet good at being a manager... because she is learning on the job.  

Anyway. I think the ideal solution here is probably that Diane and Liz continue to run RL: A STR Laurie Company (the fact they’re owned by corporate overlords kind of makes any decision about RL’s mission moot) since Diane wants to do that and Liz seems to be content where she is. Madeline and the other partners, instead of trying to force STRL to let them pursue the cases they want, can accept pay cuts and go start their own firm. Maybe they can even team up with Barbara Kolstad!  

None of that’s to say that the dilemma here is easily solvable, nor is it to say that Diane shouldn’t consider stepping down. I’ll say more on that later. My point here is just that this issue is much deeper than just if Diane is on the letterhead or not. As long as they’re owned by STR Laurie and have clients like Rivi, Diane stepping aside would just be a band-aid.  

(And that, I think, is intentional... they’ve been building the “why are we even representing x?” tension pretty consistently this season, so I imagine it’s on the writers’ minds.)  

Diane stumbles across the secret partner’s meeting and knows something’s up.  

“You gotta handle this, Liz. You cannot have a white partner leading a black firm. We’ll lose clients with that kind of hypocrisy” Madeline insists after Diane heads back to her office. I’ve already said it, but just to say it in a less rambly way: Madeline is right, but she’s right IF AND ONLY IF the goal is to be a black firm. So, Liz, is it?  

(They’ll lose clients, sure, but which ones? They’ll lose the clients Madeline wants while Diane continues to keep bringing in business and Rivi and Cord and Wolfe-Colman and their elk* stay put.)  

*I know this is not the correct word; see 6x17 of TGW

David Lee has also noticed the meeting in Liz’s office and thinks this may be the “beginning of the end.” Diane glares at him and he says he was just joking.

Diane schedules a meeting with Liz. Liz’s assistant doesn’t know Diane by voice, adding to her frustration.

Credits! We are 22 minutes in! This might be a record if 5x01 hadn’t saved the credits til the very end!  

I’ve already written more than I did last week by a couple hundred words.  

Two interesting things about the credits. First, this episode was written by Aurin Squire. Forgive me if I’ve mentioned this in a prior recap (I know I thought about it but can’t remember if I deleted), but I think Aurin Squire and Davita Scarlett are key to why TGF and Evil are both always so good. They’re the two writers other than the Kings who are in both the TGF and Evil rooms, and they both REALLY seem to be on the same wavelength as the Kings. I imagine that having four people who are in both rooms helps with managing both at basically the same time.  

(This isn’t where I wanted to go with this bullet point, but I may as well shout out how great Evil is this season, too! It also just aired an episode by Aurin Squire about the lead white female character realizing her privilege!)  

Second, this episode was directed by Brooke Kennedy. I didn’t know that going in, but seconds before the director credit popped up, I was thinking to myself, “this episode feels like it’s going to be a very important one. I bet Brooke directed it.” I was very pleased to see her name appear.  

(For anyone who doesn’t know, Brooke is an EP who’s been involved in nearly every episode of both Wife and Fight and she tends to direct important episodes that require a lot of familiarity with the characters. She directed 5x15 of The Good Wife and she’s done a bunch of the premieres and finales that Robert King hasn’t claimed for himself.)  

Diane and Liz meet in a bar to catch up. Diane’s still staring at Dawnk. Liz takes her phone and silences the notifications. “Who thought that sound was pleasing?” Diane complains. “All day in court today,” Liz commiserates. Carmen had to teach her how to silence the notifications. Liz, you’re using an iPhone, there is a very easy to use switch that silences your phone, like you would need to for court. I know you know this.  

(I think Diane, despite her complaining about the sound, is captivated by Dawnk.)  

Liz orders soda water instead of a drink. I assume that’s intentional, perhaps because she knows this isn’t going to be an easy conversation or a long night of drinking? She has wine in an earlier scene.  

I love that Liz and Diane chat about Dawnk even though there’s no real plot reason for them to spend this much time discussing it. Little moments like this make me believe Liz and Diane are actually colleagues who get along well and make management decisions together.  

Diane asks if Liz thinks Dawnk actually increases productivity. Liz laughs—she does not. But she knows the associates would “riot” if they got rid of it. She’s right. I still think they can get rid of it without too much blowback. But at least they’re acknowledging this.  

“What do the partners think?” Diane asks, very intentionally shifting the subject. You can hear it in Christine’s voice and see it in her body language—Diane is looking for an opportunity to talk about what she wants to talk about.

“God, Madeline can’t even open it. She’s lost her password three times. She finally just gave up,” Liz says. This is concerning! Madeline should know how to open an app! Probably not unrealistic, though. When you’re that senior, you probably don’t need to know how to use a messaging app. And messaging apps can be confusing sometimes. Like, I still don’t understand how to use Discord.  

The captions have a line I can’t hear in this scene—Liz (I presume?) saying “You know, ‘cause it’s Madeline.” This makes it sound like Madeline is a little less than competent, no?  

“Thanks for sitting down with me, Liz,” Diane says in a quite serious tone. “Of course. So, you’re wondering about the meeting today?” Liz immediately understands. “I am.” “Yeah. Uh, it was about Julius. He’s being harassed on Dawnk,” Liz explains.

“Okay, and I couldn’t be a part of that?” Diane wants to know. “He’s being harassed because he’s defending your husband,” Liz explains. Diane doesn’t seem surprised (perhaps because she, too, would have read these messages?). “Well, that’s unfortunate. We’ve represented people far worse than Kurt, who, by the way, was found innocent,” Diane argues like they’re having a very different conversation. It’s one thing to represent rapists and murderers and drug lords—and I’d argue that the same people pissed about Kurt are also pissed about them!-- and another for your leadership to be married to/close friends with someone who you believe participated in the events of 1/6.  

“I’m not saying it wasn’t. But, January 6th. I mean, we watched the Confederate flag make its way into the Capitol building. You know, those people that Kurt didn’t want to turn over to the FBI, those people. They don’t even want us alive,” Liz says better than I ever could. I think it’s important that Liz mentions a POV that likely wouldn’t have ever crossed Diane’s mind here. This is a small glimpse of why it could be so important to have black leadership at a black firm. Would Diane be thinking about the implications of having the Confederate flag in the Capitol? Probably not in the same way that Liz instantly does.  

“Well, not all of them,” Diane Lockhart, who is suddenly an idiot, says. Liz looks at her drink and grimaces, and Diane realizes she’s said something wrong. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I’m certainly not defending those people. They’re all despicable traitors.”

“And now, that’s what people are saying about Julius,” Liz explains. “And me?” Diane asks, though she already knows the answer. Liz doesn’t want to answer that. Before she can say anything, Diane asks if she’s being pushed out.  

“No. Not pushed out. You’re a name partner. You can’t be pushed out,” Liz clarifies. Diane knows there’s a but. “The partners just think you should do the right thing,” Liz adds.

“And step aside?” Diane asks. “No. Stay in the firm. Stay as an equity partner, just step back from your managerial role,” Liz says. Diane pauses. “Liz, I... I pull in the big clients. I... I get the billable hours. But still, ‘maybe you should step aside.’ Weren’t we going to form a firm led by women?” Diane argues. Oh, wow, I have so much to say.

First, I completely understand why Diane doesn’t want to give up her title or her power. She's Diane Lockhart! She’s been one of the best in her field for decades. She’s not wrong about the clients and billable hours. It’s just that every time Diane decides to be at this firm, making arguments about how she should retain her role in power, she’s saying that she values her own career/appearance more than the values she claims to care about. And every time she refuses to take a back seat or threatens to walk rather than sacrifice, she’s saying she’ll only through her weight behind her colleagues and their mission if she gets credit for it. To be clear, I don’t think it would be the shittiest decision in the world if Diane decided to walk, to take her clients to a new firm and to let RL become the firm Madeline and the rest envision. It’s asking a lot of her to give up that power and prestige. The interesting part of this dilemma is, to me, that Diane claims to value working for RL and to be active in the fight against racism... but the second she’s forced to choose between that fight and her own power, we all know what Diane is going to choose. There was never really any doubt. Diane doesn’t have to be on the forefront of this fight if she doesn’t want to... but she can’t claim to be invested in the fight if she isn’t willing to sacrifice, at all.

Second, LMAO at this firm led by women idea. Every time Diane talks about her firm led by women idea it sounds sillier! Not because a firm led by women is silly, but because Diane has a habit of saying this like it is a shared goal and each time she references it, it sounds less and less intersectional. For example, when she says it here, she’s essentially saying a firm led by women only has meaning if one of those women is a white woman (specifically a white woman named Diane Lockhart). Who’s to say that Madeline wouldn’t be made partner in Diane’s absence? Or Barbara (haha) or someone else we haven’t met? There is a very real possibility that Liz and another woman could run the firm and Diane would still be unhappy about it. Diane doesn’t ask Liz for a commitment that if she does step aside, her replacement would be female (idk if it’s legal to make this commitment but you get my point). Diane acts like asking her to step aside is already a betrayal of the female led firm.  

“And I hope that it will be,” Liz says, basically hinting to Diane that there are women in the world besides her.  

“But black women?” Diane says, agitatedly. “Diane, I... am not voting against you. I promised you that I wouldn’t. But there is growing anger here. They want to address it at the next partners' meeting. So just think about it,” Liz responds.

I think Liz is totally fair and forthcoming in this scene and strikes pretty much the right tone for this initial conversation. She gives Diane a choice and is honest with her.  

“You’re a good person,” Liz adds. Diane does a double-take, understanding that Liz is actually telling her “You are a good person, so you know that you absolutely need to step aside.”  

“No, I’m not!” Diane responds. As I said: Diane already knows what she is going to do. She needs to do mental gymnastics to excuse her actions, but her mind was made up before the question was even raised. (She did warn Liz in 5x01 she was going to fight any attempt to push her out.)

“Yes, you are,” Liz says again. She may as well be saying, “No, don’t try this. Everyone will think you’re in the wrong if you push this.”

Later, at home, Diane is doing some stretches on the floor and groaning. I don’t know if this scene is meant to show her age, but it does remind me that Diane is nearly 70 and started off this show by planning to retire. Retirement doesn’t seem to be an option for her here. (That’s fine by me; she is a workaholic whose career is her life.)

Kurt asks Diane what she wants to do. She says she wants to keep her name on the letterhead and “keep what I fought for.” Heh, I was just re-reading something I wrote about Cary a while ago and I’d pointed out that when Alicia and Cary discuss merging with what’s left of LG, Cary is also concerned about his name on the letterhead because even though he wants to change the world, he also cares about having power. It’s almost like Diane and Cary are really similar characters! (They are! That’s why the Diane/Cary moment in Hitting the Fan is so good!)  

Diane calls her position as name partner a fight against “gender and then age discrimination.” She isn’t wrong, especially when you consider how meaningful it likely was when she and Stern went into business together. It’s very easy for me to forget that when Diane has such an attachment to fighting for white women’s rights, it’s not just because she’s out of touch and selfish: it’s because that was something she personally had to fight for. That doesn’t make it okay that she seems to forget the concept of intersectionality (which she’s definitely aware of) the second anything challenges her own power, but it does explain why a firm run by women is so important to her.

Diane is not wrong that she deserves name partnership and she’s not wrong to not want to step aside. Yet, starting a war to retain her position as name partner is a CHOICE. The best thing for Diane to do here (morally, I mean) would be for her to step aside and throw her resources behind the firm’s new leadership, using her experiences and stature to benefit the firm (this would also be a way for her to cement her legacy and mentor a new generation of leaders). The best compromise, I think, would be for someone to leave the current firm—either Diane or the dissenting partners, probably Diane since Liz seems to agree with Madeline—without any hard feelings. The worst possible choice is for Diane to insist that this firm is hers and force every single tension at the firm to come to a head, screwing over Liz in the process and potentially permanently ruining the firm’s status as a black firm. Sooo... yeah.  

(I say it could ruin the firm’s status as a black firm because if Diane’s a white partner who happens to be there and the firm is mostly black, that’s one thing. If Diane is a white partner who fought all of the black partners to assert her own dominance over their firm... that’s hard to come back from. She can’t really call herself an ally, can she?)  

“Diane, this is the first time I’ve ever heard you sound defeated,” Kurt says. “Because I can’t win this,” she says. She insists she can’t even after Kurt tries to cheer her on (of course he does, he probably thinks having an all black firm is just identity politics and therefore worthless).

“You just don’t want to,” Kurt says. He is not wrong. This is a winnable fight for Diane. Liz is smart but Diane has the experience, the clients, the power, and her own reputation to use in this fight. Liz has her dad’s name (and I don’t think it would come to this, but Diane knows how she can pretty easily destroy Liz’s dad’s reputation). (Liz is great, don’t get me wrong. Liz is also someone who happened into a name partnership because her dad was important.)  

“It’s bigger than that. To fight this would go against every fiber of my being,” Diane says. “Every fiber in your being is about winning,” Kurt counters. Oh, damn. That’s a succinct way of putting it. He is completely right. Diane would love to think that every fiber of her being is about her commitment to social justice and women’s rights. It is not. If that were the case, would she really be a lawyer with clients like ChumHum, Bishop, Sweeney, Rivi, and Wolfe-Colman? We all know the answer to this. We all know Diane likes social justice a lot but winning, wealth, and power far more.

When I first watched TGW, now nearly a decade ago, I was a high schooler and my media diet mostly consisted of Desperate Housewives and a bunch of procedurals like Bones and Castle. The thing that hooked me about TGW—more than Alicia’s journey, more than anything—was that TGW never had easy answers to anything. Will tells Diane in 1x07 that “nothing here is pure and nothing here is simple” and that basically blew my mind. TGW always made it obvious that Will was morally gray, which fascinated me. But I struggled with Diane. Here was this woman who looked like she should be someone so impressive and inspirational I could write a college admissions essay about her (I did not, but that was my frame of reference at the time)… but the decisions she made... never seemed all that great?? I couldn’t comprehend it.  

When Blue Ribbon Panel aired in March 2012, I wrote to a friend, “Diane confused me a little bit tonight. She didn’t approve of Alicia standing up to the panel, and yet, she’s supposed to care about people, the truth, morality, etc etc. I never understand Diane’s motivations– is her philosophy to help others whenever it wouldn’t hurt her, personally, to do so?”  

At that point, Diane compromising her values struck me as something confusing because I wanted to think of her as a powerful role model and icon, and I didn’t know what to do with someone who looked like and often was role model material who also sometimes betrayed her values for her own self-interest. I had my analysis of Diane down: she her motivations ARE to help others whenever it wouldn’t hurt her, personally, to do so. All I needed to do was remove my question mark from the end of that thought.  

I promise I’ll move on from quoting myself, but I also want to share a paragraph I wrote about Diane in March 2014 (during season five of Wife) because it says what I want to say now as well as anything I could write today:

Diane is driven and ambitious. Her initial actions can come as the result of intense emotions, but given enough time and space, Diane will always be strategic and pragmatic when it comes to business. She’s spent her entire life putting her career first, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. That she found love is just icing.  Kurt aside, the two most important things to Diane are advancing her own self-interest and doing good in the world. These objectives appear to be a contradiction, and often, they are. Nine times out of ten, when it comes down to it, she’ll choose herself. I mean no judgment here: another central aspect of Diane’s character is that she’s upfront about her choices and stands by them, and this sort of moral ambiguity makes for a great character.  

The reason I quote myself here is not to be like, ha ha, I was right. It's because I think this episode is even more powerful because I can copy/paste in stuff I wrote nine years ago or seven years ago (oh god, 2014 was seven years ago?) verbatim and it can hold up as analysis. Both Fight and Wife have always implied Diane’s selfish side and given more than enough evidence to make a convincing argument about it, but they’ve never really engaged with it directly (and if you ask the social media teams for either show, Diane is a #queen who can never do wrong). This episode interrogates something that’s always been an unpleasant part of Diane’s character, and I’m so fucking glad about it.  

(I don’t think anyone’s accusing Diane of not growing as a person but it crossed my mind that this could be seen as lack of growth. I don’t think it is. I wouldn’t expect Diane to change. Her life and career are so set that growth on this without a LOT of struggle on her part would feel like a cop out.)  

Another reason I quote myself is to highlight how friggin’ character driven this episode is. I’ve seen a lot of people saying this episode felt like old-school TGW—and it absolutely does; that’s also how I felt—and I think that’s because it’s so character focused and meaty.  

But back to this scene. Kurt tells Diane that if she doesn’t try to win she should just give up entirely. Seems like bad advice.  

“Kurt, I appreciate the pep talk, but I don’t think the way you think. I cannot put my interests above a whole group of people—black people—just so I can keep my position.” Sure you can, Diane. You just don’t like to believe that about yourself. You know how Diane says to Kurt earlier that she knows the NRA will offer him the job? That is how I feel about this scene. The writers go to great lengths to explain where Diane’s head is at when she decides to fight for her partnership, but they’d have needed to do ten times more to get me to believe Diane would step aside voluntarily.  

Kurt basically thinks that Diane should fight because if her competition is actually talented enough to deserve name partnership, they should fight her for it. He’s missing the point here.  

“But a black person’s talent has always been valued less than mine,” Diane counters. The fact she knows and understands this makes her decision even less forgivable.  

Kurt knows he’s going to lose this argument and tries the same strategy he did on 5x01: telling Diane she’s right and should just give up and leave the firm. Diane doesn’t like that answer either.  

Given how much I loathed Jay’s hallucinations, I was expecting that when Diane asks Kurt in the middle of the night if he believes the election was stolen and then sits down at her fireplace to have a chat with Ruth Bader Ginsburg, I’d loathe what happened next. I did not! I actually really liked it!  

I think this is more effective than Jay’s hallucinations, at least for me, because it's less gimmicky. It isn’t played for humor or quirk, and it gets to the character-driven point a LOT faster. This feels more similar to Alicia imagining Gloria Steinem is telling her she’s good enough to be on the Supreme Court in 6x03 than it does to Jay’s hallucinations.  

I LOVE that Diane would dream that RBG would advise her on her work dilemma. Dream!RBG tells Diane that “any law firm would be insane to let you go.” (I don’t wanna spend too much time fighting dream logic, but I feel like the operative phrase here is ‘let you go’. Are the RL partners seeing this as letting Diane go? Or are they just trying to get at a different goal and Diane is in the way, and they don’t really care if Diane has top connections or billable hours? It’s almost like the other RL partners want a firm that stands for something and all Diane has stood for thus far at the firm is profit...)  

Diane pushes back on RBG and RBG shares her “real” thoughts. This is where this sequence clicks into place for me, because it’s working on a LOT of levels. Obviously, Diane is going to imagine that her hero tells her to do exactly what she wants to do (the aforementioned mental gymnastics). But without losing the level on which this is dream!RBG and filtered through Diane’s POV, the writers are also... criticizing RBG for not stepping down herself!? It’s fascinating and pointed and makes her the exact right choice to play Diane’s conscience.  

Dream!RBG shares her life story and notes how she was always asked to step aside, but she didn’t and that’s how she got to be RBG. “Don’t step aside because someone wants you to. Don’t step aside for politics. Men are always asking women to step aside so a man can go first,” RBG advises Diane. Even Diane knows that this isn’t exactly equal to her current situation-- “Even though I’m being asked to step aside so that a black person can take my place?” she counters.  

So RBG asks if Diane can still do something “for women” if she says. Diane says yes, and RBG says Diane should do that instead of stepping aside—she should do whatever it takes. That’s the wrong takeaway, Diane! If you want to do something for women then a) you could do something for the black women at your firm lol or b) you could politely remove yourself from the firm, encourage your most profitable clients to stay on if they are wanted by the other partners or and/or c) you could choose to bring your talent and your stature to a non-profit. But, of course, these options aren’t on the table. There’s a reason the options are leave and lose everything or stay and fight for name partnership, and it’s that Diane cares about maintaining control of what she sees as hers and winning more than she cares about anything else, including or even especially her desire to help women.

And also what women is she even helping at RL? Herself? She’s certainly not helping Wolfe-Coleman's rape victim. The closest she’s recently come to helping women is when she told off Weinstein’s lawyer and tried to start #MeToo... in a DREAM.  

The score for the next sequence sounds so familiar and I can’t place it. At first, I thought it was Hitting the Fan, but I’m not sure if that’s the right reference (also, damn, the Hitting the Fan score is REALLY GOOD!). I think it might be similar to 5x14 when Alicia’s pacing back and forth in the hotel room.  

Anyway, Diane starts meeting with her (white, male) clients to tell them about how she’s stepping aside. She hasn’t run this past any of the other partners, of course. She’s doing exactly what they want, in the most malicious and calculated way possible.

One of her clients is a fracking client who wants to win over democrats by being a RL client.  

Diane is so sneaky here! No one said that if Diane steps aside as partner she can’t handle the day to day on her cases... yet that’s what Diane tells this client since she knows it’ll make him mad!  

Diane makes a point of showing her fracking client that his new representation will be Madeline. He doesn’t know anything about Madeline, and, as Diane was likely counting on, he isn’t confident in having a black woman he’s less “comfortable” with on his cases. I don’t know if Diane was going for the racial element here, but... if you’re really concerned about continuity, you don’t have this meeting without having Madeline ready to jump in and show she’s read up on the client. I’m sure it’s possible that Diane meant nothing in giving this client only Madeline’s name, title, gender, and race to go off of, but is that likely?  

She hands another (white, male) client off to Julius, whom she describes as a “very competent lawyer.” What an introduction. She says she’s not retiring and the firm “just wants to let some other people step forward into a name partner position.” Diane knows how to sell clients on changes they won’t like. She knows this isn’t how you do it.  

That phrase, “comfortable with you” is doing a lot of work, no? Both clients so far have said it, and while it might not be racially coded... it’s racially coded.  

“Who should we call about it?” the clients ask. Diane can barely keep herself from smiling.

They call David Lee, immediately. He takes the call in the middle of a meeting, while someone else is talking—he is David Lee, after all.

The information on the screen in David’s meeting is quite interesting. It’s about STRL’s plans for RL. Here’s how the firm is described: “RL is a high-end mid-sized Chicago law firm that can consolidate its specialized brand within the American POC community and expand its national and global brand with STR Laure.” Soooo... yeah. For the corporate overloards, RL needs it to be just black enough that it appears like a black firm, but they care more about appearances and branding than anything of substance. (Notice how it says “POC” and not black? Notice how there’s this mention of national and global presence that doesn’t seem to be on the RL partners’ mind?)  

There’s an area called room for growth, listing top clients—entertainment law, fracking, the DNC, and civil cases against CPD. Interestingly, two of these are Liz’s clients (entertainment and DNC), one is Adrian’s (civil cases against CPD), and only fracking is Diane’s... so maybe I didn’t give Liz enough credit earlier.  

There’s also a plan of action that includes partners working with STRL and the 15-20% layoffs we already know about. I don’t think this text is meant to include any new info, but I assume one of the writers had a hand in writing it and it’s a good way of confirming things that had been subtext.

Wackner’s reality show looks... well, like his court, because his court always looked like a reality show. Cutting together the most out-there moments (audience reaction cards, Wackner singing “Come on defense!”, Wackner renaming himself Judge Shmuley for a day) makes Wackner look pretty bad.

Hey Liz, I thought you figured out how to silence your notifications for Dawnk permanently. (It’s not all high-stakes controversy over on the “R&L General” channel—the anon animals are now discussing a broken coffee maker.) (Though even this discussion is a bit political! Anon Owl says they bet STR’s coffee machine works, and Anon Dolphin wants to know why they don’t have more coffee maters at RL.)  

There’s also a dance party—which Marissa participates in—in the footage of Wackner.  

Hey, wouldn’t Marissa have reported the cameras to Diane and Liz? I feel like she’d know they’d want to know.  

Wackner ends up on the stand to offer context for the strange-looking clips. In a smart move, Liz offers to just let Judge Farley ask questions—she knows that’s what Farley is really after.

Unsurprisingly, Wackner’s context makes his outrageous practices seem much more reasonable. There’s a scoreboard to keep lawyers aware of where they’re standing so they can gauge instead of guess at Wackner’s thought process. Shmuley is to honor a recently deceased relative. The costumes are to prevent bias and cut down entitlement.  

Plaintiff’s counsel argues that Wackner is biased and the case continues even though Wackner’s (mostly) won over Farley.  

The case next turns to something about copyright law that sounds downright silly—the point is to underline that Wackner’s court makes more sense than real court on some things. It makes more common sense and it’s less racist.  

Del gets called into court. It’s interesting how these scenes are blocked together rather than spread out. The same is true of Diane’s scenes—after credits, we have Diane and Liz at the bar, Diane at home, Diane talking to RBG, Diane making moves, and then David Lee becoming aware of the situation. Then we have several consecutive court scenes (all of which feel like they have natural break points) of Wackner stuff. If I had to guess, I would guess that it’s to keep the momentum going. The Diane stuff plays better when it feels like a continuous chain rather than a subplot.  

(The only thing that suffers is that I have no idea why there’s a court scene about copyright law right after the plaintiff argues they have evidence about Wackner’s bias? I probably wouldn’t have even noticed if the scenes had been spread out more.)  

Now Cord’s involvement with Wackner’s court becomes an issue. It’s funny they need a witness to bring up Cord when Cord is SITTING IN THE COURT ROOM.  

Apparently Cord is financing a company that would compete with the plaintiff’s company and this means Wackner is biased. As the next scene will explain, Cord wasn’t even aware of his investment in the rival company, and Wackner certainly wasn’t. But, regardless, it’s going to be challenging to prove that neither Wackner nor Cord knew about the investment, and the opposition is going to go after Cord’s financial records, which no one wants. Liz suggests a continuance, which would give Wackner about a year to keep working on his court before they have to come back to this issue.  

Wackner HATES the idea of delays and is all, THIS IS WHY I HAVE MY OWN COURT and again, he isn’t wrong.  

David Lee needs to see Liz, now. Liz and Diane meet in David Lee’s office and stare at their phones. Diane says she has no idea what the meeting is about, even though she basically set up the meeting herself.  

“What the fuck is going on?” David Lee says. Diane feigns surprise and asks for more specifics. David Lee reveals that four top clients have called with issues about their representation shifting.  

Liz knows what’s going on and aggressively says, “Diane, thoughts?” “Nothing from me. I met with my clients. I just told them of a restructuring that I was being told about,” Diane says like it’s no big deal. Liz and Diane both know that Diane forced this meeting.

“Is this a power play on your part?” Liz asks Diane. “No, it’s just updating my clients,” Diane says for David Lee’s benefit or commitment to the bit or something. It is definitely a power play, and a nearly unforgivable one done to an ally.  

“David, Diane was told about frustration at the partner level about a white woman being a name partner in a black firm. And apparently, this is her response,” Liz explains. “I just told our clients what was going on,” Diane defends. David Lee doesn’t really care about what happened: he cares about one thing, and that thing is money.  

“Diane’s a fucking name partner until STR Laurie says she’s not. No one decides until I decide. Now stick your race war back in its bottle,” David Lee says. I mean, basically, yeah, that’s what happens when you merge with a huge firm that only cares about profit.  

I like that this ends up coming back to STRL. You can’t really have a conversation about RL’s identity without also acknowledging that RL is not independently owned. Sure, STRL will care at some point if RL loses its clout with the black community—but like most companies, they care about guaranteed loss of profit and the short term more than long-term what-ifs. It may sound cynical, but if Madeline and all of the other partners quit, STRL would simply put all their effort into keeping Liz or even just the Reddick name and would then hire black lawyers who think more like Julius than Madeline to keep the reputation. STRL does not give a shit about helping anyone, and that’s what Diane counts on.  

I do not believe the version of RL that Madeline wants can exist when they’re under STRL’s control. I believe the version Diane wants (not really a black firm) can, and I believe the version Liz seems to want (one that’s mostly black and occasionally social justice focused) can, but this issue won’t go away until STRL does.  

Sure, Diane, keep telling yourself you’re fighting the good fight out here.  

(Perhaps “The Good Fight” is a more ironic and fraught title than it originally seemed.)  

“That was a mistake. I am on your side, and you don’t even realize it,” Liz tells Diane afterwards. Interesting that Liz says “I am” and not “I was.” I would love to know what Liz really thinks about this situation and hope we get more from her POV next week. I think Liz wants to run a black firm, but I also think she wants to run a successful firm and likes working with Diane. Liz is on Diane’s side about as much as she can be while still advocating for Diane to step down.  

Pissing off Liz is a very interesting move for Diane here, too. Diane wants to fight the one person who is on her side for control of a firm that doesn’t want her there, and she’s convinced herself this is the smart move! Kind of wild. What does Diane think the day to day will look like? I think I said this above, but in forcing this war, Diane is all but guaranteeing that if she wins, RL will only be a black firm in that STRL will say it’s one to make more money.

Julius and Diane chat next. Julius says he wants to start his own firm—with Diane. Her only reaction is laughter, but, like, this is probably happening. I’m not sure why she laughs. It’s not quite a case of unfortunate timing (Diane could’ve done this before she blew things up, and it’s not quite too late for Diane to commit to leaving and smooth things over with Liz), so maybe it’s just a “well, this sounds familiar!” laugh.  

(If you think of Previously On as 5x00 instead of 5x01, that would make this episode 5x05, which would make this a Hitting the Fan callback. I can also do mental gymnastics!)  

The episode could end there, but it doesn’t. We’ve still got a Wackner plot to resolve. Cord has some people beat up the plaintiff as a way of enforcing Wackner’s verdict and getting the real court case to go away. Marissa picks up on what’s happened faster than Wackner does, unless Wackner just doesn’t care.  

It’s subtle, but throughout this episode, there’s a little bit of a trend towards Marissa becoming more skeptical of Wackner. She tries to keep him under control in court, tries to reason with him about the continuance, and in this scene, she just looks entirely displeased and alarmed every time she’s on camera.  

We get another scene with RBG. “It’s different for me than it was for you,” Diane says. She notes that unlike RBG, she herself is up against another “dominated culture.” This other dominated culture is “black lawyers.” (I’m sorry, I just find the way she says “black lawyers” funny, partially because she says “lawyers” instead of people and partially because Diane seems insistent on only occasionally remembering that Liz is both black and female.)  

I can’t tell if this scene was originally intended to close the episode or not. The blocks of scenes, the way the episode seems like it should’ve ended with Julius’s laugh but instead has three more scenes (guy getting beat up, Wackner’s court, this one), and the fact the Kings said this episode had to be almost totally rethought because both Christine and Audra had concerns about the original script all suggest to me that maybe some of the scenes in this episode got shuffled around to keep momentum and hit the right notes at the right time.  

Diane acknowledges that RBG could’ve stepped down and we wouldn’t have a conservative majority on the court now if she had. RBG insists that she wouldn’t have stepped aside even if Obama had guaranteed that her replacement would be black. She says it’s because she only knows what she can do—not what others would do. And “what you know is always better than what might happen.”  

Even if this was originally supposed to happen earlier (Diane saying she doesn’t know what to do makes me feel like it way), I like that we get to see it’s still weighing on Diane after the fact.  

(Also, I have seen some comments about, for lack of a better phrase, the girl power energy of these Diane and RBG scenes. No! These scenes aren’t a tribute to RBG! She’s in these scenes because she didn’t step down and can thus help Diane excuse her own actions! These scenes aren’t exactly anti-RBG, but they are certainly critical of some of her choices!)  

The topic shifts to Diane and Kurt’s relationship (another reason to put this somewhere other than the main part of the episode; this would slow down the momentum of the middle part of the episode) and its similarity to RBG’s friendship with Scalia.  

Tbh, I don’t think a friendship and a marriage are all that similar on this front and I’d be curious to see Diane think about RBG/Scalia in the context of her potential partnership with Julius rather than her marriage.

RBG basically tells Diane to stay with Kurt. Diane thanks her, and then, back in reality, tells Kurt to take the NRA job so he’ll be happy—and then she’ll just sue him. Okay, that feels like an episode ending, so I am REALLY curious about all the re-writing and re-structuring that happened in this episode and what did/didn’t get touched. I can’t make up my mind about what feels out of place.

So we start out with Diane feeling like it might be the right thing to explore whether or not it still makes sense for her to be with Kurt, a suspected insurrectionist and future NRA employee, and Diane feeling like she wants to help her friends and partners at her mostly black firm do good in the world. And we end with Diane doubling down on her relationship with Kurt, giving her blessing for the NRA job, and fucking over her colleagues because she wants to keep her own power. Dark! I love it.  

This episode does this all without making Diane entirely unsympathetic, which is astounding. While I think Diane knowingly makes choices that further her self-interest over the values she (claims to?) hold and I am definitely NOT Team Diane on her decisions in this episode, this episode could easily have been less interesting and complex. It’s understandable that Diane would not want to step aside from a firm she’s helped build—who would? It’s understandable that Diane might not feel the passion for a black firm the way she does for a female firm. It’s understandable that Diane might not want to blow up her marriage, despite her political differences from Kurt. This episode allows Diane to be just sympathetic enough she never becomes a flat villain, but never sympathetic enough that someone could mistake this episode for one that shows Diane as a morally pure hero. Personally, I love that in a TV show. That’s the exact kind of writing that made me love Alicia Florrick enough that I still spend a considerable amount of time thinking about her character arc even though TGW ended half a decade ago. It’s what’s been missing from a lot of TGF episodes for me, and why I’ve said that TGF seems like a show more about theme than character. It’s why I’ve written—oh god, TEN THOUSAND words—about this episode.  

I have no clue what’s going to happen next, but I hope it includes more character-driven drama (ideally with a lot of good material for Liz) and not a lot of firm-jumping shenanigans.  

[grumpy-triceratops]

Obey Me Brothers Playing Among Us

I played Among Us once and am obsessed, so just like with d&d, I wanted to combine it with Obey Me! Hopefully I’ll do the others tomorrow since I always forget how long these take me ^^; Lucifer

Red Main

Refuses to play unless the rules are explained to him thoroughly beforehand

Not only will he love being the imposter he will be terrific at it

We all know he can hold a secret so he’ll easily shift the blame

Will not vent and give others the chance to catch him that way

When he’s not the imposter he’ll be the one getting tasks done and always rushing to fix sabotages 

Will continue to work even if he’s a ghost

He will get secretly bitter every time he’s killed, tricked, or voted out

Tries to hide it but will laugh every time Mammon is voted out

Mammon

Yellow Main

Will try really hard but be really bad especially if no one tells him how to play

He gets caught venting at least 60% of the time

Really bad at lying 

Usually the first one voted off unless someone really messes up as the imposter

Won’t admit it but he refuses to kill MC even knowing its a game

Does his tasks poorly and lazily 

Will straight up skip a task if he can’t figure it out and he rarely takes care of sabotages 

He will stick to MC’s character like glue, both out of fear and “for their protection”

Will be devastated if they are the imposter and kill him

If he’s a ghost he won’t do his tasks but he will still continue to follow MC around even if they are the one who killed him

The Most Likely to Call an Emergency Meeting For Stupid Reasons Award goes to... Mammon!!!

He tends to just go along with whoever everyone else suspects

Leviathan

Blue Main

He’s played for an insane amount of hours so technical wise he’s amazing

He’s also watched tons of videos and read all sorts of strategies

Knows every map by heart 

Fairly good at keeping his cool but can slip up especially if its MC who is pressuring him 

Levi plays with lightning focus and will probably be the first to get his tasks done

Will almost never get caught venting but will use the vents efficiently 

Still will be voted off as an innocent on occasion because he often works alone and doesn’t have good alibis 

He’s also one who will regularly check the security cams

Will get really salty when he loses or kicked off when he’s innocent

Despite this he’ll still finish his tasks as a ghost if he somehow hasn’t already

Satan

Green Main

Will probably pick up on the rules fairly quickly even if they aren’t explained to him beforehand

This game is entirely his jam and he will probably become close to being as obsessed as Levi

Will prefer to be a crew mate more than the imposter but will have fun as both

He’ll use the vents and somehow nearly never (if ever) get caught venting

Very good at covering his tracks and shifting the blame

Satan is super strategic and will of course go full on detective

Will also try and shift the blame to Lucifer to try and vote him out whenever possible, but only as the imposter

No matter how tempting it is Satan as a crew mate won’t vote out Lucifer unless he truly thinks he is the imposter

Surprisingly cares more about solving the mystery than taking jabs at Lucifer

He’ll occasionally watch the security cams but prefers to try and find the culprit more directly

Loves calling emergency meetings and discussing theories

Will be annoyed with Mammon’s constant pointless meetings that distract him from what he’s doing

Satan won’t be as interested in doing the tasks or stopping the sabotages but still will do it

He will 100% leave people as bait with suspected imposters to try and catch them  (definitely not based on how I personally play)

If he’s voted out when he is innocent he will be IRATE 

He’ll give off a long angry list of reasons why could not have been the imposter and will be baffled at how people don’t get that

He’ll finish his tasks as a ghost unless he is upset whether it be about being unjustly voted out or people not listening to his theories and letting who he knows to be an imposter go

Asmodeus

Pink Main

If someone doesn’t explain to him how to play he’ll whine until they do

Really not that interested in the game though once he understands it 

Honestly his favorite part will just be dressing up his character

Will not be happy about having to turn off his mic and deprive the world of his beautiful voice

Rarely does his tasks and even more rarely fixes sabotages

Asmodeus won’t even do that much as an imposter, if there’s more than one he will rely on them to do the work

If he’s the only one then he may try sabotaging or killing but very sparingly and with no real plan in mind

Won’t vent because he doesn’t feel like it

Really, he’d probably kill someone in a room full of people without batting an eye

Won’t even care if he gets voted off as the imposter

He’ll still enjoy watching Mammon get voted off 

Will probably follow people around just cause

He will not do anything as a ghost

If he’s murdered he’s going to take that time to do something he actually cares about like his facial routine or paint his nails

Only votes if he feels like it whether its because he thinks it’d be funny like with Mammon, or because he has some personal vendetta like if someone suspects him when he isn’t the imposter

However people probably won’t often suspect Asmodeus since he’s always running around with others

Beelzebub

Orange Main

Will have a hard time picking up on the game if its not explained to him beforehand and even then it might be rough

He’ll probably spend most of his time in the cafeteria and be sad to find out there’s no way to get food in the game

Will not like being the imposter since he doesn’t want to hurt his family even in game

Also he’s super bad at it 

He tries to get into the mindset of being the imposter by imagining someone took his food like Belphie suggests but even then it doesn’t really help and it makes him hungrier

Like Mammon, if he’s venting he is almost guaranteed to get caught

He also cannot lie and is really bad at trying to cover for himself

Won’t really think to use sabotages that often 

If he isn’t caught he’ll probably lose because the tasks all get completed 

As a crew mate he will do his tasks with a bit of a struggle depending on the tasks

He also won’t understand when sabotages need to be fixed and will probably ignore them

Ghost times are snack times for Beel even if his tasks aren’t complete  

Beel would almost never be unjustly called the imposter since he’s such a bad liar and everyone knows he struggles too much playing the game to be a tricky imposter

Belphegor

Cyan Main

Even if Belphie is taught the rules he’ll probably just run around doing whatever, like Asmodeus it will be rare if he does his tasks or fixes sabotages

Belphie will go out of his way to make himself look suspicious: standing staring at people, chasing them around menacingly, hanging out on vents etc.

Will die laughing when he gets wrongfully voted off

He doesn’t have to be imposter for him to try and accuse and vote people off constantly

Will vote every round regardless of if he thinks someone is guilty or not

Loves it when he can cause infighting in the meetings

He’ll also occasionally call emergency meetings just to try and stir up trouble

Sort of enjoys being the imposter but isn’t too competitive about it

If he gets caught venting or murdering he’ll just shrug it off

Secretly though he won’t murder Beel or MC as imposter, he just can’t

But if he’s paired up with both or either of them he’ll be extra excited to go on a murder spree with them

Nap time comes when he’s a ghost, very hard to wake him up once the match ends to get him to start another round

[rhaenyratargeryn]

A few weeks ago I wrote slutty, slutty Kent x Button fic and then didn’t post it-- but now I’m gonna and reveal myself as a thirsty ho.

title: reciprocity rated: explicit fandom/pairing: Mind Blind (IF) Kent Zarneki x f!Button Wiseman summary: One photo leads to another leads to another... Button could open a gallery with the sheer volume of nudes she possesses of one Kent Zarneki.

It had started innocently enough. At least, that was the lie I was telling myself because in all honesty, what was innocent about sending your boyfriend a selfie— when that selfie was really just a strategically cut close up of the new strappy bralette you’d bought, peaking out from the unbuttoned V of your Aeon uniform top? Nothing. Absolutely god damn nothing.

The text I sent: new! shockingly comfortable. didn’t want to rip it off as soon as I got home

Kent’s message bubbles were silent, but the “read” notification had gone off. I grinned slyly to myself, getting comfortable back up against my bed pillows. Kent blushed so infrequently, I had made a game of it as much as Glitch, though I had had unprecedented success. Glitch had given me a withering look at the boast.

I mean. It was obvious why I did.

My phone dinged, the notification image showing that in lieu of a text, Kent had sent an image of his own. I clicked the tiny preview and was awarded with a picture much like my own, Kent’s tie loose around his neck, the buttons of his shirt undone to show the pale expanse of skin beneath. I could just barely see the line of his jaw, the smirk ticking up the corner of his lips.

I responded by undoing my own shirt down to my waist, pushing the fabric down around my shoulders and using my arms to help my cleavage look fuller. This was dangerous. Very dangerous, but I shook my head to let my hair cascade down across me, took a few shots and sent the best one.

Are you in bed?

Kent’s reply. Followed shortly by another photo. He had put aside ceremony and fully removed his shirt, revealing he was in bed himself. The dark sheets contrasted against him. All that Aeon training had sculpted and carved him into a lean, but strong figure. He was not bulky, like Grayson, cut more narrowly at his waist which gave his shoulders an even fuller illusion of broadness that made my hands ache to run over them.

Kent Zarneki, in short, was too fucking hot for his own good.

I am

Im taking my clothes off

I assume that is what we are doing?

I sent the three texts in quick succession. The message bubbles in reply were brief.

yes

The image that followed was enough to send a hot pang right down into my stomach. He’d unbuttoned his trousers, using the thumb of his free hand to hold down the band far enough I could see the line of his pelvis and the dark hair that dusted across.

If you want to

I want to

I took off my shirt, throwing it aside without care. I had chosen to wear a high-waisted black skirt that day, which was all the better. I very carefully slid my hand up the cup of my bralette, letting the fabric rise up to show the under curve of my breast, appearing fuller when pressed up into my palm.

I sent it and in a second got a reply.

Off

I smirked. Kent had already been naked from the waist up for some time now. I received a sequence of three images, all of which where very flattering shots of Kent’s own torso and abs.

Seems only fair

I pulled the lacy fabric up and over my head as easily as my shirt, looking down at my own pale breasts, my nipples already hardened in the cool air and in anticipation. Shyness fell over me like a cold shower. Kent had never seen me naked before. What if I was too small? What if I was too big? Was my right breast always that much different from my left? Anxiety panged in my stomach as intense as arousal and despite my delay, Kent’s messages remained silent.

Patient. Waiting.

I could cheat. Brushing my hair over my shoulders, the strands lay perfectly over the tops of my breasts, hiding them from clear view, but not as much as my bralette did. I let the photo catch just the bottom half of my face, my tongue stuck out to the side. Teasing. Taunting. Like it was on purpose, not because I was nervous.

Kent didn’t respond for several minutes. The next image, I felt my mouth go dry. I could very clearly see the outline of his erection, pressing against the groin of his pants and going down the leg.

He wasn’t wearing boxers. Of course he wasn’t. This was Kent Zarneki, a man who was one bad day away from leaving everything and joining a nudist colony.

Is this okay?

It was more than okay. It was super okay. It was, please-send-me-more-now okay.

I relayed as much through the text message and got a photo that sent my heart racing. It was just him. His cheeks flushed, his gray eyes dark and storming, a smug smile half formed on his lips. His dark hair was messy and I nearly groaned with frustration at how badly I wanted to run my fingers through it, tug on it, pull that smirk against my own and kiss it off his face.

The next photo I sent him I hid nothing, cupping my breast in my hand and making as if I was drawing my thumb over my nipple. I showed my face, trying my best to look as effortlessly sexy as him— though no matter what I did, my smile was always more playful than sultry. My cheeks flushed with more than just wanting.

Cute

High praise

I replied, trying to remind myself his short responses were normal and not to read into it.

You want praise?

You’re driving me crazy

His words hit me like a sucker punch. His next photo is the second one I didn’t see coming.

No man this gorgeous should ever be blessed in such a way. There were really no words other than “pretty” to describe the flushed skin of his length, not overly long, but definitely blessed where it counted. Or at least where I had heard it counted. It’s all about the girth. My mind supplied in its best Cosmo magazine voice.

The tip was, in all honesty, a very pretty shade of darkened pink, and curved with a sort of perfection that should have been reserved to— I don’t know. Porn stars? Dick models? Do dick models exist? Hand models sure do, and the way his hand was wrapped around himself was enough to make me think he could easily be one of those too.

Cute

I snap back and I can practically hear him laugh in my mind.

High praise

More?

Is that an offer or a request?

Both

How could I say no? I definitely didn’t want to. I found the zipper at the top of my skirt and slid it down. I was left in just my panties and hose. I rolled the hose down low on my thighs, sitting up on my knees to take a photo. Hesitating for just a moment, I flicked the camera over to video and let my hand run down over my thigh and then across my hips. I drew my finger over my center, my breath hitching and my hips moving forward as I rolled against my own touch.

I sent it.

And after a moment I got a video in turn. I watched Kent’s hand glide up over his length in slow, languid motions, pausing to rub his palm against the tip of his head. Teasing himself with the lightest touch. His cock flexed and jumped, a tiny gruff sound escaping his lips and reminding me that even though I couldn’t see his face this was Kent. My Kent.

I nearly dropped my cellphone as it began to vibrate, an incoming call displaying on the screen. I laid back, pushing my hose off the rest of the way as I answered. The line was silent before I finally broke it with a breathy- “hey.”

“Are you naked?” Kent’s voice was low, strained, but somehow eager.

I took a quick moment to slide my panties off, kicking them away.

“Now I am.”

Kent took in a deep breath. I let my hand trail between my legs, touching myself in the familiar way I did when I was alone. I traced my index and middle finger up my labia, spreading the soft warm skin, dipping my fingers into the center where I was slick and hot.

“I’m touching myself.” I said, my voice a broken whisper. Kent made a gruff sound of acknowledgement.

“Kent...” I said, “You made me so wet.”

He moaned.

“Is that okay?” I said, teasing him. I appreciated his caution, his check ins, making sure I was enjoying myself.

“Yes. Yes, it’s okay. Tell me.”

“Wow. Six whole words? Be careful, you’ll make me come.”

“That’s the idea.” Kent said, a breathless laugh filtering through his words.

“What about you? Having fun yet, Zarneki?”

Kent made a sound and I heard the rustling of sheets and the faint click of the phone camera shutter. My phone chimed, an image appearing of the head of his cock, wet with pre-cum he was smearing around the tip.

My tongue slid out against my bottom lip.

“Kent, don’t take this the wrong way— but you have such a pretty penis.”

He snorted.

“I’m serious. I want to put it in my mouth, which is not something I thought I’d ever say to any guy. But like? It just looks so appealing.”

“You’re killing me.” Kent said, a groan that sounded almost exasperated coming from his throat. It was hard to tell.

“With my witty charm or because I put a very naughty image in your head?”

I slipped two fingers into my mouth, pursed my lips, made a show of how wet and soft they looked and sent it to Kent.

“Shit—“

I felt a burst of pride at his expletive and found my clit with my fingertips, circling in a quicker pace.

“I like listening to you.” I said, thoughtless. I sighed, feeling my whole body warming, “Wish it was closer.”

“...I’m just down the street.” Kent said, trying to play it off like it was a fact and not a very tempting invitation.

“But this is fun. And naughty. And I get a keepsake.”

I heard the question in his voice, almost masked by a small groan. I wondered what his hands were up to.

“The photos. Speaking of which... I wouldn’t mind an after shot.”

“After?”

“After I make you come all over yourself, Zarneki.”

I heard his breath hitch.

“Only if I get one too.”

“You got it.”

Talking became a non-priority then. The only thing I strained to hear was his breaths, his soft moans, the faint wet sound I sometime thought I heard over the receive— or maybe that was me. I felt flooded, with heat and wanting and need. I pressed harder, worked my palm flat against my clit and stroked my fingers inside, imaging how much further Kent’s slender fingers could reach. Imaging his tongue. That pretty cock.

“Kent.” I whimpered, the involuntary clutch of my walls around my fingers my bodies way of telling me it wanted all of that and more.

“Good?” Kent murmured, a faint reply.

“Yes— I... I just keep imaging if it were you.” I don’t need to explain. I can tell by the way his breathing has fallen into faint rhythmic pants that he got my full meaning and he liked it.

“...me too. I want... I want you.” Kent paused, his next words coming out with earnest sweetness, “I’ll wait as long as you need...  but I’m ready. I want it. This. With you.”

Whatever I was thinking, whatever I wanted to say fuzzed out around the edges as a prickling sensation spread out from where my fingers were rolling and pressing in tandem. I coaxed my climax out, the peak hanging on the edge for a wonderful few tense moments before it fell. I whimpered, the sound coming out louder than I intended.

I heard Kent swear, or say my name or some combination of the two and then his voice pitched up for just a moment, a gasping moan aching from his throat.

I was hot, messy and completely boneless, laying back on my bed and feeling like I could fall asleep right then and there.

But I owed Kent a picture.

I spread myself open, the puffiness, the redness and slickness hopefully all the evidence he needed to see I had most definitely orgasmed. The moment I opened the chat to send it I received his in turn. His cock lolled back against his stomach, a line of cum connecting to the opaque white puddle settled there. There were drops across his chest and a few splatter across his hand.

My walls clutched hard as I thought what it would feel like to lick him clean.

I sent my own photo, the two of us quiet now, content with just listening to the sound of the other breathing through the phone speaker.

“So. Shower photo shoot next?” I said, unable to hide a nervous giggle.

“Give me just a second to get a towel.”

I had been kidding, but the eagerness in Kent’s voice was enough to make me decide to not correct him.