#Wonder if maybe we were building up to yet another stereotypical romance for such an ace coded character

[wlwitchofwhitestone]

Also now that they've finally kissed at least the rest of fandom will catch up that they've been together the whole time. We told y'all from day one, that's a qpr. They weren't oblivious. Imogen knew Laudna had other priorities - when it came to romance, not to her - and knew exactly what Laudna was okay with. And she waited until she couldn't know, until things had changed and she had to take Laudna at her word instead, and that's what made it matter and I'm just saying. We've been here the whole time having to watch people beg every week for something to become canon that was there from the start. Watched beauj*s start to play out all over again as people swore up and down these two "lesbians" (that's a whole other post) were madly in love and hadn't realized it. Turns out they knew exactly what they were, like we said. You could've saved a lot of time if you'd realized that a kiss isn't what makes a ship canon. I've had a great 65 episodes of a canon ship away from the mainstream fascination with saying things like "whatever they've got going on," but welcome aboard.

[sputtersparky-tm]

Here’s the fanfic I wrote yesterday...

  Sorry it took me a bit to post this, my girlfriend came over and then we got distracted with videogames... and... then I ran out of energy to edit this puppy...

So without further ado, a late Valentine’s gift to all you lovely people who follow me out there...

A Blooming Romance [A Liquidator x Bushroot Fanfiction]

(Transferred from my Wattpad Drafts)

 The rain trickled over the glass making up the greenhouse. Spike laid dormant by his owner and best friend he so loyally stayed by through thick and thin. Sighing as he lifted a leaf of his rose bush, Bushroot sat limply over the delicate plant. Spike tilted his head, approaching Bushroot as he sulked over the rosy reds growing so beautifully.

  Nudging his arm, Spike wriggled himself into Bushroot's space. With a lick over his cheek, Bushroot's sullen look of shame evaporated into a soft smile. "Oh Spike, at least I have you through it all."

  Spike nodded as he knocked Bushroot onto his back with a pounce. "AH!" He yelped being flung backwards. Succumbing to his friend's demands, he lifted his leafy hands to pet Spike's head.

  "Feeling lonely? Only have your pet as a companion in life? Wanna have some wet, wild fun with your watery wonder of a partner in crime?" The gurgled voice of the well known water dog startled Bushroot from his moment with Spike.

  Leaning his head back to look where the voice came from. "Oh! It's you! W-W-What are you doing here? Is Negaduck doing a heist today?" Bushroot became excited at the hope of being distracted from the dreary day.

  "As vile and hateful as he is, I'm sorry to say I haven't heard anything from Negaduck all day. It seems this Valentine's Day shall go without the evil escapades of the five of us." Liquidator shook his head and pretended to brush dirt off his arm. As he approached his leafy green friend, Bushroot had gotten onto his feet.

  "Darn it... Well then that brings me back to my original question!" Bushroot furrowed his brows.

  "Hm, well my company's Valentine's special sales are skyrocketing, and I figured I would have something to do today, but it seems all I have is just my money and my shallow company to keep me company." Liquidator started off bragging. His expression saddened a little as he saw Bushroot's bemusement. "And, it seems sometimes even a million dollar company isn't enough to satisfy the humble heart of this hound dog." He splashed his hands to his chest as he gestured.

  Bushroot scoffed. "Oh, so I suppose you want my help kidnapping some sad sap so you can have a little fun today?" He knew it was close to improbable that he would really have any fun of his own today.

  "Hey now! I may be clever and villainous but that doesn't mean I don't believe in consent! After all, I am very prideful of my position on the top of the Capitalist lifestyle. And what more is Capitalism than even the poorest of the poor being able to choose as little as what water they drink?" Liquidator defended himself.

  "T-That's n-not exactly corre-"

  "SO! What do you say, my dear partner in crime? Would you like to join me for a night on the town? The evening may be young but there's nothing wrong with starting our romantic outing early!"

  "Are you asking me out on a date with you?" Bushroot seemed appalled at first, he'd never been asked out by a man before, well there was that one time in college, but he already had his eyes set on a lovely young lady from the technologies field.

  "I think you owe me your answer first before I give you mine." Liquidator smirked deviously.

  "Uhhh..." Bushroot felt his heart skip a beat, his cheeks growing as red as the roses beside him. He hadn't thought in all his time of working alongside Liquidator that he'd ever be interested like this. At one point, he'd thought that there would maybe be something between them, after all they went so well together, it was almost fate that they'd both been mutated into their current forms! But Liquidator came off as such a square of a man, nothing more than the stereotypical heterosexual businessman who may even go so far to take bribes from all the worst people, worse than even the dreadful Dr. Slug!

  "Well?" Liquidator pulled Bushroot from his flustered silence.

  "S-Sure!" He blurted out, shaking from his nerves at the idea of being asked out by someone so confident. He immediately felt himself going down the slippery slope of his usual routine when it came to new people being in his life. He shook off the toxic temptations of growing dependent upon his date for the night. He didn't want to come off too strong. Taking a deep breath, he looked up to Liquidator.

  "So it's a date then! Shall we be on our way?" So smoothly as he normally did, he locked arms with his Bushy compatriot.

  "Oh, y-yes! Spike, please watch the house while we're out?"

  With a nod of confirmation, the two mutants were out in the rainy world.

_

  Darkwing Duck had gotten a call to a local restaurant about two very uniquely unmistakable villains hijacking a normal Valentine's Day dinner service.

  Having done his normal entrance, he now held his iconic gas gun pointed at Bushroot and Liquidator, who previously sat peacefully at a table. "Stay seated and surrender, or suck gas you sultry sickos!"

  "Oh, can't we just have one nice dinner without you bugging in? You're no better than a parasitic case of morning glories!" Bushroot rolled his eyes and slammed his hand to the table below him.

  "Lonely? Bitter? Why don't you mind your own business or face the wrath of the Liquidator!" The Liquidator announced as he began winding up to attack the cape-cladded duck.

  "Say, since we haven't ordered dinner yet, why don't we just make our own? Pan-Seared Duck, anybody?" Bushroot lifted the candle alongside the wooden roses that had been decoration at their table.

  "Wouldn't that hurt the roses though, Bushy?" Liquidator paused in concern.

  "No worries, these are nothing more than flammable fakes! Created from the mulched remains of long lost brethren. If anything, this is actually pretty poetic!" Bushroot explained as he set the bushel of roses alight.

  "Amazing." Liquidator said softly under his breath as he watched his date's face glowing from the flames.

  "Hey! You love sick losers, either surrender or risk being humiliated by the stunning strength of Darkwing Du-UCK!" Darkwing dropped to the floor, dodging the burning bouquet that had been chucked at his face.

  By this time, it was only the three of them in the restaurant, 1 v 2, Darkwing Duck was surely overpowered. He yelped as he was chased all around the restaurant, now struggling to get control of the situation. Just as he was about to get ahead of the game with a fire extinguisher and a sponge from the kitchen, all power went out inside of the building, leaving them in the darkness.

  Bushroot struggled to find his nearly crystal clear date, but his bewilderment didn't last long as he felt a cooling grasp wrap around his waste as he was carried out of the building, leaving the real loser behind.

  Stopping on top of an abandoned tower's rooftop, Liquidator put Bushroot down.

  They stared silently at the city-scape below for a moment before Bushroot broke the silence.

  "That was the most fun I've had while on a dinner date EVER!" He chuckled as he looked at his date.

  "Anytime you want a good time, all you have to do is call!" Liquidator smiled at Bushroot as he imitated holding a phone to his ear.

  "W-Why do you suppose the power went out back there?" Bushroot glanced over the blackened city scape. "It seems we weren't the only ones who dealt with a blackout..."

  "Hm, seems you're right, I wonder if Megavolt is going to town with one of his devices..."

  "Gross." Bushroot shook his head in disgust.

  "Says the one who went on a date with a man made of water." Liquidator nudged Bushroot lightly.

  "Hey! T-That's different, my date is actually a living being! Way better than any c-cold-hearted robotic piece of machinery that that cooky rat fawns over...!" Bushroot paused for a moment as he thought to himself.

  "Uh-huh." Liquidator began humming in disbelieving agreeance as Bushroot went on.

  "He's super handsome, for one thing, really suave and intelligent, he also has a great personality, he knows when it's time to get serious and when it's time to have fun. He's also very slick and clever..." Bushroot's words faded as he looked to his date who nodded with a cocky smirk gliding over his muzzle. "What?" He asked nervously fidgeting with his hands.

  "Bushroot, I know how you can be with people, you're very clingy and you often care too much." Liquidator started.

  Bushroot slumped and began to feel his heart race as he felt his nerves go up. Had he come on too strong? His mind began to race with all the anxious thoughts that had not plagued him since his fling with Posey.

  "So I want you to know something. Don't worry about being overly clingy, because regardless, I'm committed to you just like I am to my business. I may seem cold and uncaring at times but just know that no matter what, you're the only one I want. I mean, I don't exactly believe in fate but think about it, we're perfect for each other. You're a plant, I'm living water, it's almost too much to accept us as simply a coincidence!" Liquidator went on.

  Bushroot's heart was toyed with as one minute it was racing from him being nervous to him being romantically enthused. Liquidator stopped himself, turning to Bushroot he reached out his paw and to hold Bushroot's leafy green hand.

  "All this to say, I know it's too soon to say it but-"

  "I love you." Bushroot cut him off.

  "Hey! I was gonna say that!" Liquidator snapped back playfully.

  "T-Too bad! I-I-I said it first!" Bushroot smiled meekly, hoping to not mess anything up.

  "Hm, seems I'll have to take another first in retaliation, huh?" Liquidator cocked an eyebrow at Bushroot as he thought to himself.

  "O-Oh? And what first would that be?" Bushroot's demeanor changed to being more submissive as he prepared for the worst.

  "Oh nothing, but after all that action, wouldn't you like to lie down and rest?" Liquidator suggested.

  "O-On this floor!? Oh I-"

  "Bushroot, you sleep on literal dirt, I don't think this is very different, but here..." The Liquidator then shot up and power-blasted a clearing on the dirty roof just to appease his date.

  "Whoa... I-I-I guess a little rest wouldn't hurt... besides, knowing that egomaniac, Darkwing is probably out looking for us..." Bushroot slowly lowered himself on the clean patch. "I guess you could say in this case it's best to lay low for a while, huh?" Laughing nervously, he watched as the Liquidator shook his head at his pun.

  Laying next to Bushroot, the Liquidator took his date's hand. "May I have you answer a survey for me?" He asked, gazing over the stars above.

  "S-Sure! It won't hurt!" Bushroot smiled carelessly.

  "On a scale from 1 to 10, how would you rate this date?" He began.

  "Definitely a 10!" Bushroot nodded.

  "How would you rate your man of the night?" Liquidator went on.

  "Mmmm, that's a tricky one..." The Liquidator looked intrigued as Bushroot hummed in thought. "I'd say your rating scale hardly cuts it for my answer, but I suppose I'll settle on a mere 10!"

  The Liquidator smirked, if he was able to, he'd be blushing. "Oh, why thank you..." He responded, holding back a flattered chuckle. Clearing his throat he went on. "How- I mean-" He quickly pulled himself back together. "Would you go on another date with me?"

  "Oh, that's easy! Of course I would!" Bushroot beams.

  "Excellent, any final comments or questions before I conclude this survey?" Liquidator grinned.

  "Hmmm, well, next time we should totally show Darkwing what for! And also..." Bushroot looked away from the night sky above, clearer than it normally was without the light pollution. "Thank you."

  "What for?" Liquidator asked curiously.

  "Taking a chance on an old plant duck like myself... most wouldn't care to."

  "It was only a matter of time before I got the courage to ask you out." The water dog shrugged nonchalantly.

  Bushroot scoffed. "You? Needing courage?"

  As if on cue, Liquidator chimed. "It's more likely than you think!"

  "I don't believe it!" Bushroot rolled his eyes.

  "Better believe it!" The Liquidator rolled over and hovered his face over Bushroot's. Leaning in closer, the Liquidator stopped as his muzzle was about to meet Bushroot's bill. "Or should I get a scientist to back up my claims?" He said in a low voice.

  Bushroot's face went red as he became flustered. "I-I-I-I-I uh, um, well..." He sputtered, stuttered, and stammered until his bill was closed by a kiss. Bushroot's eyes widened in shock, before he relaxed and enjoyed the moment.

  Moving away from Bushroot's mouth, the Liquidator rolled off of him. "Now we're even."

 Bushroot sat up and stared at Liquidator with a shocked expression, beak agape in a struggle to find the words to say.

  "What do you say we take refuge at my place until the morning comes?" The Liquidator lifted Bushroot up onto his feet.

  "Oh! u-uh sure! Of course! Yeah! Uh, I mean... sure." Bushroot quickly cooled his excitement.

 "No time to waste! The night is still young so we ought to act fast!" Liquidator scooped Bushroot into his arms again and carried him back to his home far above the streets.

  "H-Hey look! The city has power again!" Bushroot pointed out as Liquidator made his way over the rooftops to his company's sky scraper.

  "Oh! It must have been our electrifying kiss that brought the city to life again!" Liquidator said slyly. Bushroot immediately cringed at the awful pun.

  "Don't start with electricity puns! That's Megavolt's thing." Bushroot shook his head.

  "Maybe so, but I do it right!" The Liquidator and Bushroot went back and forth well into the night, staying up far past midnight to just talk and joke and laugh in a new way never before done. A new love washing onto shore with the delicacy of a blooming rose.

[minghaocouture]

Fearless: Chapter 6

Pairing: Werewolf!Jeon Wonwoo x Vampire!Reader Genre: Romance, Fantasy, Non-Idol Au Warnings: Language, Descriptions of violence Rating: T WC: 4.2K AU Lore:   Vampire Coven Info/Wolf Pack Info/Lore Info

A/N: This chapter def did not go the way it was originally planned lol. But i really like how it turned out.

Chapter List: Chapter 1/Chapter 2/Chapter 3/Chapter 4/Chapter 5/Chapter 6/Chapter 7/Chapter 8/Chapter 9/Chapter 10/Chapter 11/Chapter 12/Chapter 13/Chapter 14

Tag List: @moon-asia​

It was official. Wonwoo was in big trouble. 

After his chat with Sojung and his meeting with on the beach, there was no way he could deny that what he was feeling wasn’t the mate pull. Which was why he was currently sitting out on the patio, phone in hand and attempting to not text her. [Y/N], the name he had finally gotten, to check and make sure she hadn’t gotten into any more trouble with her Coven. From what little information she had given him, she was in pretty big trouble for their fight.

Thinking about that he lifted a hand to his face, the scars weren’t as bad as hers would be...that is if she could get scars. He knew Vampires healed better than most of the other species but he wasn’t sure to what extent. He would have to ask her later. Though with how closed off she was it would probably be a while before she actually was willing to answer his questions. Which Wonwoo completely understood, technically they were still on opposite sides.

The back door sliding open snapped Wonwoo out of his thoughts, and he quickly shoved his phone back into his pocket. Glancing over at the door, he watched as Vernon exited and joined him. The younger man taking the seat next to him. The male seemed just as chill as he normally did, Wonwoo wondered if his nature came from the fact that he was born right at the end of the seventies. It would make sense. Vernon didn’t say anything for a while, content with just sitting outside watching the snow softly fall.

As the two sat in silence, Wonwoo pondered for a moment about telling Vernon about everything that had happened over the past 3 days. Out of the whole Pack, Vernon and Sojung were the only two that Wonwoo couldn’t see blowing up or telling Seungcheol. He felt he needed to talk to someone about it though, this was his mate after all. Besides, if he wanted to stop the plan for the Full Moon then he would need help. Wonwoo wasn’t dumb enough to think he could do everything on his own. 

Clearing his throat to break the silence, Wonwoo pushed himself forward slightly and placed his elbows on his knees.

“Vernon?” he was met with a small grunt, an acknowledgement that the younger was listening. “What would you do if you found your mate?” The question was innocent enough. Wonwoo wondered if Vernon had even really thought about it before, considering the male had only been ageless for about 19 years where Wonwoo had been stuck looking like a 20 year old for more than 70. 

Back when he was younger, Wonwoo had always assumed that his mate would be human or another wolf. That his romance would be a simple one, like his parents before him. He hadn’t been anticipating...whatever this was turning out to be. 

Vernon shrugged in response. “I mean, I guess I’d just tell them that they’re my mate? Maybe go on a few dates? It’s not really something I think about too much.” Vernon wasn’t exactly known for being a person who thinks ahead, more of a go with the flow type of guy. Wonwoo honestly had expected this kind of answer from him. What he hadn’t been expecting was the follow up.

“What about you? I mean, you found them right? That’s why you’ve been sneaking off late at night recently, and being all weird?” Wonwoo simply blinked at the younger male, a bit amazed that he had been so obvious about his situation. Vernon took his silence as an invitation to continue.

“I mean, everyone’s kind of noticed. Especially since you ran off by yourself after the meeting tonight and didn’t come home til like 1.” He’d need to be more careful about that from now on. Having her number would definitely help out with seeming less suspicious when leaving. Now he’d just message her if he would be late to their meetings. 

Running a hand through his hair, Wonwoo leaned back into the chair once more. Heavily debating on actually confessing everything to Vernon. It was a risky decision, even if Vernon didn’t freak out. Anxiety filled his gut as he leaned forward once more, casting a glance over to the door that led back into the house. Once he was certain that no one was about to join them outside, or could possibly be listening in, he made his decision.

“I did.” swallowing back his nerves, he was honestly amazed that he had been able to keep his poker face on as he spoke. “I did find her, but it’s a lot more complicated than I expected.” Vernon snorted a bit, pulling on the strings of his hoodie as he listened to his elder.

“Can’t be that hard? You just gotta lay on your...charm.” Vernon gave Wonwoo a once over before nodding firmly. As if needing to confirm that his nerdy pack mate was, in fact, charming. If Wonwoo wasn’t in complete agreement, he probably would have been insulted. “Yeah you’re charming enough, I’m sure you can woo her in no time.” 

“Yeah. It’d probably be easier if we weren’t going to be trying to run her and her family out of town in...3 days now?” Not a great way to say it, but it was better than just saying flat out that she is a Vampire. Not much better but still, he gave himself points for trying. 

“We’re running people out of town in 3 days? I haven’t heard anything happening on the Full Moon...oh” Vernon trailed off, as the realization hit him. Like Wonwoo before him, Vernon turned a bit to get a good look at the back door to make sure no one was coming out or watching them through the glass. Once he was sure, he turned back to Wonwoo and honestly looked concerned. 

“She’s...ya know?” at this, Vernon lifted his hands and mimed Vampire fangs with his index fingers. “I vant to suck your bluuud” He made sure to use his most stereotypical vampire accent he could. Wonwoo just nodded in response before he slouched and rested his head in his hands. It would have been funnier if Wonwoo was less stressed about the whole thing. 

“Well shit.” 

Well shit was right.

“Does she know?” Wonwoo lifted his head a moment, returning his gaze to Vernon. A brow raised in confusion at his friend’s words. 

“Does she know that you two are mates? Does she even know how mates work?” Oh. That was a question that Wonwoo hadn’t thought about. She seemed to have pretty closed minded views when it came to Werewolves so it wouldn’t be too surprising if she had no idea how mates worked for wolves. That was another thing to add to his list of things he needed to talk to her about.

Vernon shook his head at Wonwoo’s lack of response. “You need to talk to her about it. The sooner the better, especially since she might be able to get her people to stop with the bodies. Sana and Jacob found another one on their run tonight.” 

“That’s something else, she says that it isn’t her people doing that.” Wonwoo was quick to give that information. He wanted to make sure that he was clearing that suspicion as soon as he could, with whom he could at least. So at the moment, only Vernon. If he brought it up with anyone else he would have to explain how he knew, which wouldn’t be good.

The distrust was clear on Vernon’s face, not that he distrusted Wonwoo but he definitely distrusted his mate. Which Wonwoo had expected.

“She said she would talk to her Coven about it and make sure, but until she gets back to me I’ll take her word for it.” Wonwoo continued. Not just because of the mate bond, but because she had honestly seemed confused when he had brought it up. “And she said she would believe me when i told her that Hyunwoo and Hoseok didn’t mean to hurt that kid the other day.”

Vernon jutted out his lips a bit and nodded, obviously still not too keen on taking her for her word but he’d trust Wonwoo. This was new territory after all, neither of the men had heard of a wolf being mated with a vampires. So neither male was certain how to approach the subject. 

Now it was time to breach the next conversation topic. 

“Tomorrow night, could you cover for me if I go meet her again?” 

***

The last few days of your life, you had gotten some pretty bad ideas. By far, this was the worst one yet.

Zipping up your jacket all the way to your neck, making sure your gloves tucked nicely under your sleeves and finally making sure your umbrella was open and ready for you to exit the building.

In the daytime.

Which would slowly start to burn you alive if the sun touched you. 

So all in all, this was a terrible idea. But information was needed and the Coven didn’t have anyone that could go out during the day safely, sure there was Keonhee but the second you mentioned the bodies in the forest he panicked and almost started crying. Sure you could have messaged Wonwoo and asked him, but it felt wrong to make him do all the daytime work. Especially since there was that part of you that was still apprehensive of him. So, needless to say, it was up to you to risk your life to try and figure out what the hell was going on in this town.

Thankfully, Minghao had given you the okay for this mission. He even went so far as to make sure it was kept secret from Jun and Soonyoung as well. You were honestly pretty grateful that Minghao seemed to be so willing to help you. When you first started all of this, you were expecting the inner circle to have more issues with it. Minghao was proving you wrong, even mentioning that he feels the hatred between Vampires and Werewolves had gotten dumb and cliche so if this would help stop a war between the two groups in town then he would help.

Now here you were, carefully walking through the town during the day time. It wasn’t too sunny because of the cloud coverage as it snowed, but you were still far too paranoid to close the umbrella.

The day started out with you getting absolutely no information on anything, no one had heard of anyone disappearing and the police station had only released  one or two missing persons reports in the past few months. So while those could definitely have been a few of the victims, it was hard to know. After all, humans were sometimes worse than any creature that the night had to offer. 

As you walked through the town, a yawn left your lips. You weren’t used to being out at this time of day, in fact it had been over a hundred years since the last time you were outside in the daytime. 

“Are you…[y/n]?” The voice snapped you out of your thoughts and had you staring at a young man. He looked around twenty, with hair that reminded you of the red from a sunset. His bright tye-dye hoodie was almost worse than the bright environment you had been having to deal with for the past few hours. 

Adjusting your umbrella once again, you raised a brow at the male. “Who the hell wants to know?” The aura of the male was definitely that of a wolf, but the only wolf who knew your name was Wonwoo. As that thought passed through your head, anxiety began to pool inside of your gut. You were thinking the absolute worst, had Wonwoo been using you to get information on your Coven? You hadn’t given him much, but it would explain why he kept wanting to meet up despite the Full Moon only being 3 days away now.

As if he could tell what you were thinking, the male quickly raised his hands out in front of him. Almost like he was surrendering. “I’m a friend of Wonwoo’s. He told me about you yesterday, said that you were a...ya know.” He lifted his hands to make mock fangs with his index fingers. He then moved a hand out for you to shake. A goofy looking smile on his face, as if he was trying to appear more like a trustworthy person. “I’m Vernon, by the way.”

You simply stared at his hand for a moment, and gave him your best ‘are you kidding me’ look. This just caused him to laugh a bit before dropping his hand, shoving it back inside the pocket of his hoodie. 

“I’m surprised to see you outside during the daytime.” He confessed, “I thought just being outside when the sun was out could kill you. But i’m sure you won’t tell me how it actually works, so I won’t ask.” Well at least he caught on quick.

You didn’t know how to feel about Wonwoo having told this man about your meetings. It felt a little like a betrayal, but at the same time you knew that Wonwoo owed nothing to you. Least of all loyalty. Despite this you were still clenching your teeth in frustration, grip on the umbrella becoming tight enough that you were mildly worried you would break the handle. 

“Wonwoo is about to get off work, do you want to come with me to pick him up? Three people together might have better luck finding things than just one person.” He didn’t wait for your response, and just walked past you as if he expected you to follow him. Blinking in surprise, you turned and watched him walk for a few seconds. Against your better judgement, that’s exactly what you did. 

It was a few minutes of walking in silence before Vernon stopped in front of a small book store. So you would assume that this was where Wonwoo worked. Vernon opened the door and looked back at you, he seemed like he was about to say something when you simply followed in after him. He stared back at you after you entered with a look of surprise etched onto his face. 

“I thought you needed to be invited into places?” His rather silly question caused you to snort in laughter as you breezed past him. Making sure you were far enough away from the glass door before you closed your umbrella. 

“That’s literally only private homes.” you retorted, an amused smirk on your face as you watched him. He nodded in response as if the information was truly valuable. It really wasn’t, which was why you told him at all. If it had been something more important you would have kept your mouth shut like before.

As the two of you walked through the store, you avoided the store front because of the larger windows on that side. He asked you small questions about your people, what you thought was happening, etc. You answered as vaguely as possible, still not fully trusting this wolf. You also hadn’t seen Wonwoo yet, which was a bit concerning since Vernon had said this was where he worked.

Despite the light tension things were going pretty good between the two of you, up until Vernon decided to step on a landmine.

“Why do you hate wolves so much?” His question had you freeze. Wonwoo hadn’t even asked you that yet, but here Vernon was asking this before he even knew you for a full twenty four hours. You were silent for a moment, a hand that had been reaching out to a book just simply stayed on the spine. Not bothering to pull the book out, or to move your hand away. 

Seeming to realize the trigger he had hit, he quickly back tracked. “You don’t have to answer, I’m just a bit curious. Everyone seems to have reasons for hating each other. I just wanted to know yours.” he explained. Vernon had been surprised to see such a look of defeat and anger on your face, an odd mix of emotions that you didn’t see regularly. “I mean, I don’t really hate Vampires. I just got told growing up that they were bad for whatever reason. So I was curious if, you know, Vampires did the same things?”

“It’s fine.” you muttered, pulling your hand away from the shelf at last. You crossed your arms over your chest and turned to face him. “I hate Wolves because they’re the reason I’m like this.” It was something you didn’t like to think about. When you did, you could remember the screams of your little sister as a wolf tore her limb from limb. Your mother sobbing in anguish as she watched your father’s mutilated corpse fall to the floor of your home. The feeling of all the air leaving your lungs as you were thrown harshly through the wall of your home and landing harshly on the ground outside.

Needless to say it was a day that you did not like remembering.

“[y/n]?” Recognizing the familiar voice, you spun around to find yourself almost face to face with Wonwoo. He smiled when he realized that it was in fact you. “What are you doing out during the day time? I thought that could kill you?” He questioned, placing a hand on your shoulder as if that would help convey his worry for you. With a gentleness that you hadn’t been expecting from yourself, you pushed his hand away.

“Couldn’t let you do all the work during the day, now could I?” You muttered, and flashing him an actual smile for what was probably the first time since you had met. The brushing past him and making your way back to the front of the shop and opening your umbrella so you could exit and continue your search.

***

The three of you asked around about anything strange going on. It was about 4pm when eventually you came across a young woman, maybe mid twenties. 

“Minah, you said your name was? Can you tell us exactly what happened?” 

The woman nodded, her soft coils bouncing lightly as she did. Her aura reminded you of Keonhee, of someone that was too kind and too pure for the kind of world they lived in. It was almost sad that she lived in a town as apparently dangerous as this one was. She seemed frightened as she spoke to the three of you, as she was currently wringing her hands together and looking over her shoulder as if someone was going to jump out and grab her.

“Yes, Minah that’s my name. I um...you’re probably going to think i’m crazy. The police did.” she muttered, green eyes casting themselves down toward the snow covered concrete. Vernon flashed her a small smile and shook his head. 

“Believe me, if anyone will believe you it’s us three.”

Taking him for his word she continued. “Well I was coming home from work last night and since it was late, and I wanted to get home quicker so I took the alley. It’s the fastest way to my complex so I take it even if it’s a bit more sketchy.” As she spoke she refused to make eye contact with any of you, her emerald eyes staying glued on her feet.

“I saw this couple, and they looked like they were fighting. But the guy clearly had the advantage and he had shoved the woman harshly against the building wall. I didn’t really know what to do, so I was going to call the police but before I could even get my phone out. He...well he bit her neck, and not in like the sexy way like in the attacking kind of way. I think he was a Vam-”

“A Vampire.” You finished. Minah nodded in agreement with you, her eyes finally meeting yours. You could see the hope that seemed to grow in her eyes. Simply because you believed her. At her confession, Wonwoo glanced over at you. Wordlessly asking if it could have been any member of your Coven. You shook your head immediately, as everyone last night had been partnered up and no one said they got separated. So it had to be a stray, or at least that’s the only conclusion you could come to. 

“Minah, did he see you?” Wonwoo questioned, glancing back at the woman. Your stomach dropped as she nodded again. That was definitely not good, and if he could he would probably go after her next. That was very not good. Pulling your phone out, you shot a quick text to Minghao. Giving him a short summary of what you’d just been told. 

“Am I in trouble? He’s going to find me isn’t he?” Her questions sounded so defeated, as if your reactions had confirmed that the woman was soon to die because of her actions. Vernon instantly began to deny it, but didn’t have any real proof to comfort the woman, who looked as if she was about to start crying.

After receiving a response from Minghao, you slid your phone back into your pocket and approached the woman. Your umbrella now covering the both of you from the light snow that continued to fall, she shivered as she looked up at you.

“Minah. I might have a way to keep you safe but you have to trust me okay?” She nodded slowly, tears still brimming in her eyes. In response you simply opened your mouth slightly, giving her a quick view of her fangs. You were pretty amazed that despite the obvious fear in her eyes she still stood her ground, trusting you as you had asked her to.

“I’m going to take you to a safe place, more people like me can protect you from that guy you saw last night. Will you come with me?” You sighed in relief when she nodded to agree. Asking her to wait there for a moment, you turned back to your companions. Grabbing their arms and pulled them a little further away from Minah, to speak out of range of her.

“Minghao says we can watch her until we figure out what’s going on. I’ll drop her off and...and “ you paused mid sentence to let out a long yawn, obviously the very few hours of sleep you got before coming out was catching up to you. “And then we can meet up at the beach. Can you two see if you find any bodies out in the forest, maybe the woman she saw last night?”  

“What exactly are you going to do?” Wonwoo questioned. He seemed almost concerned, as if he had thought of something you hadn’t. “How are you going to explain to your Coven why you were out during the day?” Well he had in fact thought of something you hadn’t. 

Sure Minghao and Hyunjin knew what you were doing, but everyone would know you were out during the day if you brought Minah back there. It would put you in a very difficult situation. Jun was still upset with you for your recklessness the night you attacked Wonwoo, and Soonyoung...well you hadn’t seen him since that day so who knows how he would react to coming home to a human in the spare room. Chan you weren’t too worried about, sure he was a member of the inner circle but he never really concerned himself with things outside of his job for the night. 

So basically you just had to worry about Jun. It is never good to have to worry about Jun. You didn’t want to let Wonwoo or Vernon know this, especially not Wonwoo. So you simply shrugged in response. 

“I’ll improvise. It’s no biggie, I’m a great liar.” Wonwoo snorted in response, shaking his head at you. The expression on his face showed how little he believed your words. Flashing a small glare in his direction, you jabbed at him with your elbow. A laugh escaped his lips at your actions and he gently pushed you back.

“Guys can you two flirt later? We have stuff we need to do.” Vernon seemed to be the voice of reason today. You almost made an attempt to deny that you were flirting, but before you could Wonwoo spoke up.

“You’re right, we should get going or Seungcheol will get worried.” But he made no effort to deny Vernon’s statement, which would have caused your face to flush if you had been capable of blushing still. Wonwoo turned to you, carefully placing a hand on the shoulder of your uninjured arm. “Make sure you get back safe, and message me if anything happens.” 

With that, the three of you parted ways. The boys headed North towards their home, and you turned back to Minah. Keeping her close as you made your way back South towards the bar. 

This was going to be fun to explain.

[yooleestruck]

in which lee rambles about how great writers are

I don’t really know what this is. I don’t know if now is the right time to do this, or a really bad time, or if it makes any sense, but I want to talk about it! I feel like a broken record saying ‘the writing matters most, the writing matters most’ but maybe I need to show what I mean by that? So, here is an attempt. 

I’m sorry not all of these are the same length and not everyone is here, because every time I see that someone is a writer I do try to follow but I don’t always know/remember! Also I am weird about this sort of thing and don’t want to tag people in a monster-long post, so I’m just going to link. I also don’t want to make this a producers vs writers thing, it’s not, it’s just, when I say I notice writer-stuff, an explanation of what, specifically, I mean. 

Writers have a style fingerprint. I’m sure someone with an actual creative writing or English background could describe it all academic-ly, but my ex-chemist ass is just going to call it a fingerprint. 

My first game in Lovestruck was Starship Promise - I love Firefly, I’m a bisexual disaster scientist by education, it fit. But I had been REALLY put off by GIL when it first came out (this was back when they released stories in parts? And the heroine, which I will get to) and though I’d glanced at AFK, I mistrusted it after GIL and Medusa, who was who I was interested in, wasn’t out yet. So I resisted a LONG time.  I finally picked up LS and SP and played it explicitly because a friend said, you need to give this another chance, for a list of specific reasons. 

And when Atlas’s route came out, I read it a stupid number of times. I must have re-read his season 1 & 2 at least eight times apiece (he is still my most read route, despite the fact I have not read his last season because I want to leave the story open-ended)  so when I read Neil Dresner’s route, I recognized the fingerprint. Not only that, when I was reading Jett and the episodes with the paint scene (YOU KNOW THE SCENE) came out, my breath caught with how lovely it was, a particular in-between moment and touch, and even though it wasn’t a phrase I had seen, the style of it, had me re-reading (because it was gorgeous) again and again from the log for like five minutes and I thought, “I bet Melissa wrote this” AND SHE DID. 

Physical touch! (& in-betweens)

Melissa-grey has a particular way of writing about physical touch in very emotional moments that is very real and grounded and ironically the effect is just magical. It creates these so skillful “in between” moments, those little things that aren’t dialogue and aren’t metaphor but SHOW you that this closed off person is cracking for their little ray of sunshine. They are SO subtle and so beautiful, like, the heroine noticing the scent of a pillow, or a softening of an aborted hand movement.  She sets up and executes these moments of physical touch as a conduit for emotional touch with characters who aren’t ready to admit he latter and it’s DELICIOUS. Those little in-betweens are what I live for in story - and it includes all the supporting cast moments, who swell up to make the world feel lived in, and balanced (I loathe love stories where no one else exists! That’s a recipe for disaster, people need networks) I noticed when she stopped writing, and because I missed it, I went and bought the entire Midnight Girl series, as well as Rated (I hope that is flattering and not creepy!) and that style of writing is so unique, that without KNOWING, I picked it up in four separate routes (noticed in Sev’s s1, too!) 

Pacing (& friggen heartache)

Another fingerprint! Ripping your heart out! Arthoure has had me in tears, MULTIPLE TIMES and I get very grouchy about it every time because I am the least sentimental and romantic person that I know (I once MOVED STATES to avoid an ‘I love you’ conversation. I once said ‘yikes’ in response to an ‘I love you’ and I once broke up with someone because I thought he was going to propose. I’m a bitch) but I think it’s because of pacing! I know that producers play a role in that, but that actually makes it more impressive, because making each bit of story feel like it fits precisely the amount of space it needs when you don’t really get a say in how much space that is has got to take a MASSIVE amount of effort. Every little hint, every emotional beat, every character tell, they drop at a consistent build so the emotional payoff is just brutal (in a good, cathartic way?) every time a route makes me cry I wait and see and YEAH ITS ALWAYS ARTHOURE. The sweep and sentiment of Remy’s season 2 is unparalleled. Across Time is gutwrenching, and I actually stopped reading Renzei at one point because I was so emotional over it I had to like, LEGIT TAKE A BREAK to recover. Pacing and heartache. I have to stop and wonder - is it because the routes themselves are so gut-punching? OR is it because she knows how to wring every last emotional drop out of whatever story framework is handed to her? Because, Ezekiel’s villain costume is a bit silly (there I said it, it is) I get the cobra helmet shape in theory but in practice, ooof, but POINT BEING despite being skeptical I’d be able to take his story seriously as a result, I was hiccuping from crying so much (and I am gosh darn adult, in my thirties, with three degrees and a high-stress job at pretty major company. I DON’T CRY EASY)

 Dialogue (& heroines!)

Xekstrin is the gosh damn master of dialogue. Clever, witty banter that doesn’t go where you expect it to, meandering but natural topic changes that are delightful to follow and feel real, and--special shoutout for this, okay--the navigation of viscerally important topics like consent, kink, self-worth, power in relationships, self-sacrifice, and apologies in a way that is not stilted or forced at all (listen, I know Viv & Lyris are the most recent and they are amazing but I remember this first hit me when I was reading Astraeus, and I spent half the route with my jaw on the floor going, oh shit,  oh shit. The communication! The navigation of the complexity of emotion going on, chef’s kiss! Casual isn’t the right word, but, natural, maybe?). I don’t actually take that many screenshots of the app--it’s usually single lines that get me--but when I do, they are almost always conversations from one of her routes, because they’re so damn good, and often so unexpected, and yet always make such perfect sense for the characters involved. Dialogue is SO HARD OKAY. Actually try and transcribe a conversation sometime, it’s nuts how people talk vs how most people write people talking. Xekstrin also writes some of my absolute favorite MCs, and going back to fingerprints, I was reading Lyris s1 and right there in the first tavern scene, as we were following along with the heroine’s thoughts I went, ah, yes, I know who you belong to and I am SO EXCITED. Being able to give the heroine unique thoughts and quirks, to make her genuinely relatable, without overriding the necessary template of the genre dictates, is a skill all of its own. But I love her MCs! There is a beautiful balance of compassion, competence, and dash of bratty, wild, fun mischief. I can actually cheer for them. I can actually get behind them. I WANT the love interest to flop at their feet for who they are, not just because the story says so. And that comes from how the heroine’s thoughts are written, from her phrasing in conversations, how she sees situations, not just a producer saying ‘she is a strong lead who is self conscious about her ears and she’s nervous in the council meeting’ or whatever. I AM REALLY STRUGGLING to articulate this if you can’t tell from how long I have been blathering. Maybe this - the heroine is the same across every route, presumably, yes? Everyone has the same base. I NEVER question, when xekstrin is writing, why the love interest falls in love with her. Side note - I had hard written off GIL after a bad experience with the standalone app. I only read Aurora BECAUSE I learned she wrote it, and I would have SO MISSED OUT otherwise.

A complete aside in which Lee grumbles about heroines and not writers!

(Complete side vent: Often, the heroine is, if not a blank slate, a sort of collection of assigned traits, and she often remains so unless the story demands she become otherwise. Which is fine! I don’t personally, but I know a lot of folks self-insert, and so erring towards that makes sense. Almost all the otome I’ve played were originally written for a Japanese audience. When I played original Voltage games, starting back in 2014, I always had to remind myself - different culture, different culture, different culture, and it was not possible for me to relate to most of the heroines. I still enjoyed the stories, but I rarely cheered for the heroine’s romance, especially in some of the slice of life stories. I understood her, but I rarely wanted her to get with the love interest, I wanted her success to come in other ways! Another game company, Cybird, tried to ‘Americanize’ their heroine to IMO disastrous effect - it was such a stereotype, and made no sense since they didn’t also Americanize the context, so she come across as, frankly, ridiculous. And frankly, Voltage’s GIL heroine REEKED OF THAT. When they first posted her on social media I was legitimately annoyed about it, like could you lean into this more? I think not. So when I talk about being able to relate to and cheer for the heroine, it’s a big deal, because my blatant mistrust of Voltage and their ability to craft a heroine I could tolerate was a BIG factor in how long it took me to give Lovestruck a try. I was willing to tolerate it in translated stories, I was so skeptical of -en only ones.) 

Metaphors (& balance)

literacouture writes beautiful metaphors for connection between humans! I’m really bad at keeping track of who writes what, but I purposefully kept an eye out on tumblr after reading Cal’s route, because there were some lines that were pure poetry, and I wanted to keep an eye out for more. It is HARD to spin metaphors prettily without delving into trite, painful, purple prose cringe territory, and it’s navigated beautifully in Cal’s route. There’s a balance between those spin-out moments and things that are tangible and anchoring and make it feel authentic and unique to the two characters involved, instead of just ‘I am trying to make this sound romantic and this is a romantic phrase so here it is’. That balance is really necessary. You NEED the mundane alongside the metaphor or it doesn’t feel authentic. Also. Trying really hard to write this without throwing any authors or producers under the bus, but...listen. I love Sin with Me. But the world logic (or LACK THEREOF) drives me up a wall. I don’t read Cal because of his character traits or sprite or (sigh) his story. I read him because literacouture writes a beautiful romance.

 So anyway...

There are more! When I am less tired and don’t have meetings, I will try and write them up (Please know there are so many routes I love, and so many things I do recognize across chapters! I don’t even HAVE words for what theivorytowercrumbles accomplished with Helena’s story not to mention how much I adore Cyprin,  SummerLightning’s handling of Onyx’s past relationship was so deftly done when it could have so quickly become ‘milk abuse for plot’ and joidecombat gave Sev a fresh, mischievous energy and navigated the dream/reality line with SUCH skill, and so on and so on.)

I’ve written a lot of reviews. And I try to give nods where I feel they’re due - sometimes, it really is obvious that the whole team’s work came together to makes something great, the world, the plot, the arc, the art, the words, and the music all fit into place in a  well-crafted tour de force. And sometimes one piece or another is lacking, and I’ll admit I’ve left some...less than kind reviews to that end (I try and soften it, because I know there are humans on the other side of everything, but I’ve been harsh more than once with my opinions).  I’ve read routes with plots that made me want to tear my hair out because I DO value consistency and logic to a degree, even if I’m going to accept at face value that, say, space travel is a thing or demons turn to sand when stabbed. 

In the end, these are romance stories. So I will let a lot slide when it comes to plot. What sells a story are the words - not the outline.

And if Voltage doesn’t believe that - just remember that Hamlet existed long, long before Shakespeare wrote it. His was the version that lasted, because the people liked it best. The plot, the world, the characters, they all existed a hundred times over. Even just look at fan translations of manga. Why do people keep translating, even if someone else has? Because the words someone else picked don’t do the story justice. 

I don’t know. I’m talking in circles because I don’t know my own thesis! 

Maybe it’s just - the worlds these stories in are nice. But when I say I’m a fan of something, the premise is like. 10%. The rest is the writing. 

[drlauralwalsh]

The Lusty World of Lesbian Widows

I’m really frustrated that COVID has gotten in the way of my grief achievements.  I figured 3 months in, I’d be doing the television talk show circuit, sold my book, and set up a non-profit foundation.  If only this pandemic hadn’t gotten in my way.

In my life before, if I spent too much time alone (like, over 4 hours), I’d start texting my sister-in-law that I was unsupervised and feral.  Uh oh.  I’d start going down rabbit holes and come up with weird stuff like how buff male kangaroos get.  Or questioning if my parents were really married since I couldn’t find a record of their union in the limited online databases. I could have paid for real records but I’m cheap.  I know, sounds crazy.  

But now, I’m alone for long stretches of time.  I’ve managed to channel some of this agitated energy into writing essays that speak to weirdos like me (shout out to my fellow weirdos!).  I spend hours researching (me-searching as we said in grad school) and discovering overachieving methods to dam the waters of my new spouse-less life.

I’m not just your average widow.  Oh no no no.  Of course, I have to be special so allow me to tack on some extra layers - lesbian, stepmom, and young (-ish, right?).  At 45, I have finally found a way to inch back towards the youth and relevance lost as you enter the fourth decade of life.  Today, I’d like to let you into the wonders of lesbianism.

I’m going to assume you’re not submerged in this subculture so I’ll tell you some secrets.  People are fascinated by lesbians.  To be fair, we live pretty mysterious lives.  We leave you hanging on profound questions like who takes out the trash and how do they have sex without a woody woodpecker? Sometimes, other communities get lumped in with us but they are actually quite different.  Of these witches, spinsters, and women who wear comfortable shoes, I only belong to only one of those so far.  I’m working on my stovetop skills and hope to someday conjure a penis.  Not a real one; that would be weird.

Amazon’s book market best represents the variable interests of our fan club members.  Right after my wife died, I launched a search for books on “lesbian widows.”  You’d think the algorithms would have pegged me by now (ha ha).  I was dismayed yet amused by the grand interpretation of what Amazon thought I meant.  The following is an unedited list of the top books recommended for me to purchase under these auspicious terms:

Lesbian Widows: Invisible Grief

by Victoria Whipple (Kindle $25.98, Paperback $46.95, Hardcover $907.71)

I’m impressed that the first one actually included my search terms but dang, it’s expensive to be a lesbian widow.  To be fair, you can rent it for $9.21 a month.  It’s also terribly niche within an already  small niche - invisible lesbian widows?  Published in 2014, you’d think it would be a little more hip.  Maybe it’s because I live in Chicago but even as an introvert, I’m decently visible.  Still, glad it exists and appeals to all eight people who each gave it a 5-star rating.

The Care and Feeding of Waspish Widows: Feminine Pursuits

by Olivia Waite (Kindle $3.99, Paperback $6.99)

I must quote the basic plot description for you to get the full impact of this novel: “The last thing the widow wants is to be the victim of a thousand bees. But when a beautiful beekeeper arrives to take care of the pests, Agatha may be in danger of being stung by something far more dangerous…”  The cover depicts said wapish widow sit/leaning against her handsome, pants suit-clad beekeeper.  At the much less expensive price for kindle and paperback, I’m only slightly put off by labeling bees as pests.

Odd women?: Spinsters, lesbians and widows in British women's fiction, 1850s–1930s

by Emma Liggins (Kindle $73.24, Hardcover $95.00)

The period is a little off but at least it includes diverse, international women.  I was looking for a self help book but this seems slightly more academic.  Not sure why there’s a question mark in the title as there’s no question about our oddity.  The description reads, “Women outside heterosexual marriage in this period were seen as abnormal, superfluous, incomplete and threatening, yet were also hailed as ‘women of the future’.”  Aw shucks, I *am* ahead of my time.  Dang that price tag!  No renting option for this one.

The Grass Widow

by Nanci Little (Kindle $0.00, Paperback $14.95)

It’s unclear where we’ll find the lesbian widow in this 2010 novel but the description yields some mild foreshadowing: “As a familiar civilization fades into the distance, she is nineteen, unmarried and pregnant, and has no reason to think that the year 1876 won't be her last...Joss, in her brother's clothes and severely lacking in social graces, has no time to mollycoddle a pampered, pregnant New England lady. It's work or starve, literally. There are no servants, no laborers - just a failing farm, impending winter and the two of them to face it together.”  It sounds like the shameless Joss needs her own dose of mollycoddling (wink, wink) to get through the chilly nights.

Her Widow

by Joan Alden (Paperback $18.00)

More popular with 10 people giving it an almost stellar rating, this tomb’s immodest summary insists it belongs on every bookshelf.  YOU WILL PAY ATTENTION TO US!  That’s how I read it.  Seriously, of all the books this one comes the closest to what I actually wanted.  Waiting for the kindle unlimited edition….(having no man money makes us frugal).

Made For You 3

by K. Shantel (Kindle $4.99)

Apparently, Made For You 1 and 2 were not as popular. Despite the fair price, this tale omits widows opting for the groundbreaking combination of lesbian romance and football.  While tragedy surely threads through this plot, it falls short of crossing the threshold from football to death (it probably does).  Shocker, I defy the sporty lesbian trope and instead prefer to spend time among my vast, treasured collection of power tools.  Just to be clear, I mean the ones for home repair (get your mind out of the gutter!)  If the lady protagonists of this book had been thrown together building a Habitat for Humanity house with their 10 dogs using only their Subaru to transport lumber, I might be more captivated.

The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics, Book 1 of 1: Feminine Pursuits Series

by Olivia Waite (Kindle $3.99, Paperback $6.99)

I’ll give the author the benefit of believing there are more to come in the series. The title of this one intrigues me (I may steal it later) but sadly, it also defaults to worn stereotypes.  This collection of lesbian tropes finds my kin scoring yet another toaster for the conversion of a hapless straight lady.  Lesbians for the win!  Lady Reads-A-Lot gave it 5 stars and commented, “This was poetic and lovely, full of beautiful descriptions that knew exactly how to leave you breathless and then stop just before tipping into tedious.”  I’m guessing she means the sex scenes?  If you’ve ever watched any real lesbian porn, you know that it’s far better for the participants than the viewers.

Erotica: The Forbidden Adventures Of A Grieving Widow (Seduction, Lust, Lesbian Sex, Interracial Sex, Bondage and More)

by Amy King (Kindle $0.00)

This one is hands down, my favorite title and you can’t beat the price.  The author keeps the marketing short to sell you her novel: “All Ava wanted was to erase the memory of her recently departed husband. Little did she know that in trying to do so, she would experience mind-blowing adventures and lust across the globe. Ava would never be the same again as she ravenously eats up whatever adventure blows her way.”  Even though it’s another toaster novel, as a grieving widow ‘ravenously eats up’ does resonate.  I don’t think she means jars of cookie butter.

Of the eight masterpieces on the list, five are romance novels, one is academic, and two are in the ballpark (excuse the sports metaphor).  Scrolling further only yields more erotica including another novel titled, “Football Widows (lesbian)” by Amanda Mann and Deadlier Than the Male Publications.  Now I get it that we make up a small percentage of the population but this is some seriously messed up shit.  

Removing the lesbian and searching only for ‘widow’ yields twenty pages of books. I know what you’re thinking - “C’mon Laura, what’s the big deal?  Just get the standard widow book.”  And believe me, I’ve amassed quite the collection and am waiting for just the right intersection of not too devastated but ready to sob.  Bear with me for a sec - think about how we just want to be seen when we’re at our lowest.  When I first typed those words into the search bar, I just wanted something that used wife instead of husband.  

Every grief has specific salient elements and it’s too super niche to touch on all at the same time.  It would be weird and/or maybe nice to find another lesbian widow stepmom psychologist who lost her cop wife of almost 5 years to a PTSD-induced psychotic break and suicide.  That’s a Subaru full of identities.  If this person did exist, I’d be suspicious we’re the target on Incel trolls, longing to read the words of more seductive, witchy lesbians.  Instead, I plan on taking the high road.  I’ll get my knowledge and support from those who accept me by the category.  Obviously, one out of one lezzies agree there’s a market for lesbian widow self help guides - at the right price.  I may still write that book but if I want to get rich, I’ll definitely have to add more sex scenes.

[natsspammityspamspamham]

Dino Watches Anime (April 26)

I haven’t made one of these for a while, and after the first draft went and deleted itself, I wondered whether it was worth making another one (I make these primarily for myself then get really surprised whenever people notice these). During harsh times like these, I find myself being drawn to the cheesiest and the most cringe-inducing shows, but maybe I just like them because you can put them on double-speed without missing a thing because you know what’s going on. It’s like instant noodle broth: satisfying, warming, but you know it’s going to kill your insides with self-crisis. Seriously, I didn’t come to terms that I really, really like romance as a genre until a little while ago. 

With that being said, I want to take a short break from romance now. 

I often ask myself, “Why are you watching these when you can be watching really good anime?” Well, that’s probably because I don’t want to have my analytical brain on right now. I want to watch an anime that takes two brain cells to enjoy. I only have two. Once I garden some more, maybe then will I get into the stuff I know I will enjoy like Hunter x Hunter (2011)

Things that I just started but couldn’t get into

NHK ni Youkoso! (1/24)

For one, I didn’t want to watch this before because it would’ve hit too close to home. The show’s about a NEET aka a freeloader (not in employment, education, or training), and I’m... almost that description (but that’s mostly because of the pandemic). Really, this show is riddled with paranoia, and it wants you to really know that with its changing art styles to its cynical script lines to its main character honestly needing some help (seriously, he needs help). I read further (aka spoilers) and realized that I probably won’t have fun with this anime right now, and I will never touch the manga because that stuff is even more insane than its adaptation. NHK ni Youkoso is about people who fall between the cracks of normal standard society and their desire to seek their own normal by any means necessary, and during stressful times, I think it belongs on the backburner.

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei (2/12)

After seeing how much I enjoyed Kakushigoto (which will be mentioned later, I just thought, “Wow, I want to see that other really famous work!” I didn’t enjoy it at all. I forgot why I put the series on-hold. It’s about a suicidal teacher who will stop at nothing to die then ask people why they almost killed them. Through a bunch of errors, he ends up becoming some sort of a harem king to his students (and he attracts the weirdos). I enjoyed the lengths Studio Shaft went to to make this anime appear the way it does (which helps in a lot of ways), but I just can’t continue with it until a much later date.

Appare-Ranman! (2/?)

I just lost interest after looking at the rest of the cast. I’m all for being vibrant and out there, but some of those character designs imitate more of a “racial stereotype/caricature”. I’m not saying that I dropped the show only because of that (I’m quite dense when it comes to that), but I didn’t like the characters either. I can’t get behind a show that won’t let me enjoy it a single moment over two episodes. 

I’ll pick it up again later (probably)

Free! (5/12)

I feel like they’re shoving fanservice a lot. I try to skip every fanservice scene, and I managed to watch up to episode 5 in less than an hour, and I didn’t even get through them all. But I will say that ending is stuck in my head now. (humming)

This show has taken me at least two attempts to watch so far. Let’s see how many more it takes before I finish/give up!

Darker Than Black (18/25)

I’ll probably finish this one for the sake of finishing it. I just find that the episodic nature gets stale after a while, and the overarching story is often disregarded. In exchange, we do get some fun side stories, character development, and world building, but I’d like to settle down too, you know?

Clannad (1/23)

Yeah, I’m doing that now. I’m going to see whether my feels bones are as strong as they were before... after I take a hiatus because I’m not sure if I’m in the appetite for that kind of romance now that I’ve watched two shoujo in a row. 

Sousei no Onmyouji (20/50)

I bet you, someone was like, “Let’s throw all these shounen cliches into a pot then see what comes out!” Bruh, this is bordering that story I wrote when I was 14, and I’m not even dissing this anime. I enjoyed it but need a break now. It’s very cliche, predictable, and honestly, I can see why it has such a low rating. Studio Perriot likes cutting corners sometimes with their long-running series (*stares at Naruto*), and this anime is no exception. Sometimes, it feels like a visual novel. “We don’t need to animate anything if she’s so fast that no one can see her.” Dang, but it gets repetitive. It also has a magical girl power that only works when the main couple does it? Cool, but that also gets repetitive. I just didn’t see myself watching the same thing another 30 times (at least right now).

Maison Ikkoku

I’m actually on the fence about continuing this one. It’s really sweet, but I’ve had my fill of romance. I have been wanting to watch some more Rumiko Takahashi works though. There’s no reason for me not to continue this. It gives me strong Princess Jellyfish vibes (which I should also finish). 

Recently Finished

Itazura na Kiss

Just... end my suffering. It’s not worth it. The thing about shoujo anime is that I watch it late at night when my brain is at its worst when it comes to analyzing or taking in any emotional circumstances. Then I asked myself, “Would I want any young, impressionable people to watch this?” And my first thought was “F**K NO!” This anime was an absolute trainwreck. As my Discord friend put it “It’s so bad, yet you can’t look away!” But what makes this anime unique? What sets it apart? It shows life after high school. Just like Clannad, it shows that life is more than your secondary education. There is more to life than just being a teenager. I’m not saying these characters ever grew though because that’d be a FAT JOKE. 

Episodes 1-13: Girl gives boy a love letter. He laughs and doesn't even want it and goes "no thanks". Girl gets upset. Then they find out they're living under the same roof after the girl's dad made them a house out of popsicle sticks (because the dads are childhood friends). She keeps trying to push herself onto him, and his mom joins in and is plotting so much more than you'd expect. The best part is that this main girl already has a childhood friend who's like "please marry me. I'll cook for you, work for you, take a bullet for you, slice my head off if it means you won't chip a nail--" then the girl replied by chasing after the guy who calls her stupid on a daily basis and genuinely believes she can't do anything. 

Episodes 14-25: Guy gets dragged to his own wedding and generally does not care for the girl unless she’s either not looking or is on death’s bed. He practically deserts her every other time, and we’re supposed to think it’s romantic when he finally gives a crap about his wife (even when she’s pregnant). The show constantly reminds you that even other characters have doubts that our main character cares about anyone other than himself and his aloofness. They have a bunch of missed affairs including a hoe that tries to leave her husband on her honeymoon to get with Mr. Aloof and a nursing student that genuinely cares about MC and the fact that her husband doesn’t care about her at all.

The moral of the story of this anime: If you chase after somebody long enough, they will cave in and marry you even if they don’t like you, want you, insult you, bully you, or generally show all the signs of an unwilling partner.

Anyway, this anime is crap. I can’t believe I watched it. I want those few hours back (I fast-forwarded a lot, okay?) I can’t believe I finished it. Looking back makes me want to press undo. Having this under my history is a shame to my family. Even if I was sleepy and generally out of it, that’s no excuse for choosing this. Sayonara

 I will say that Daisuke Hirakawa and Nana Mizuki did give good character voices despite the circumstances. That, and I haven’t heard from Hirakawa besides those couple of scenes from School Days (which... is a different type of romance), Free! (which I dropped when his character joined), that gumball scene from Jojo, and that introduction to him being the new Demon Slayer villain. I didn’t realize he was that old though.

Special A

This is one of the anime that my sister watched, and I thought, “I need to be reminded of what a somewhat healthy relationship can be” I wasn’t disappointed because the last anime left such a bad taste in my mouth that literally anything could’ve soothed the aching wound which was bad decision making. Even under regular circumstances, I probably still would’ve enjoyed it, but since it came at the right time, I give it an extra nod of approval. I also never realized that the second opening was inadvertently drilled into my brain because I kept overhearing my sister watching it. Now that I’ve grown up, I realize I was listening to the voices of some of my favourite seiyuu. Go figure. 

The story was really sweet with characters that I genuinely liked by the end (not my favourite cast by a very long shot, but it was slightly above average). It was slightly above average for me in a lot of ways (ironically), and it was enjoyable. The art is very fitting for its time, the music was very... ordinary, and the story was simple enough that you knew exactly what was going to happen at any given moment. This show should be titled: Special A(ppreciation for those brave people who have fallen in the friendzone; we’ll get ‘em next time). 

Akatsuki no Yona OVAs 

Unlike the actual TV series, this stuff actually ends conclusively without ending on the CLIMAX OF THE BIG ARC. SERIOUSLY, I WAS ROBBED. You can say, “There’s a perfectly good manga right there.” Shut up. I want my fight scenes animated with a big helping of a strong female lead. It gave me a sudden appreciation for Hiro Shimono and his character Zeno who literally just inserted himself in last minute in the anime (but these OVAs perfectly explain everything). You probably shouldn’t watch the anime without watching these OVAs because they’re canon, funny, and touching at times. It enhances the series.

According to the animation, we know it can do fight scenes. Give us another season, cowards! Actually, it’s Studio Perriot, so if we ever get it, it might be two stickmen duking it out. 

Haikara-san ga Tooru Movie 2

You know, I really enjoyed the movie. The first one. This one? Not so much. Actually, I felt so done. I was looking forward to this so much. It’s like going to a restaurant, expecting really good pasta, and then being served some leaves from the weeds out back. Eventually, it tastes better when you add some dressing and cheese, but it still isn’t a bowl of pasta. This show casts aside everything I like about it (present-tense because they didn’t kill everything of it) and leaves one little inkling of its valued ideas. Instead, we get a romance-chasing movie that feels a bit more like an amnesia fiction that’s slightly higher quality than usual. I can’t say I regret watching the movie. There were some redeeming qualities, but they jumped from a 9/10 to a high 6/10 that managed to squeak itself into an overall 7/10. 

(This gif is from the first movie, but I can’t find any from the second movie anyway)

Currently Watching (Not Seasonal)

Samurai Champloo

This anime is a staple of Shinichiro Watanabe, and after this, I will probably watch Cowboy Bebop, Carole & Tuesday, and Space Dandy. I did enjoy Sakamichi no Apollon and Zankyou no Terror. 

Plus, after all that romance, I need some samurai slaughter. The fight scenes and the music get me every time. I don’t even need to say anything else about the anime. The fight scenes are enough to watch alone.

[waywardnerd67]

Satin

Title: Satin Square Filled: Panty Kink Pairing: Dean x Reader Characters: Dean Winchester, Reader Warnings: Fluff/Smut Summary: (Y/N) fulfills one of Dean’s secret fantasies. Word Count: 2786 Created for: @spnkinkbingo

Check Out: SPN Kink Bingo 2.0 Masterlist

Sitting back on her bed, (Y/N) watched her boyfriend, Dean Winchester, get ready to leave for a hunt. Just looking at him, Dean was all man. Chiseled jaw, broad shoulders, narrow waist and overall well-tuned body. He loved burgers, bacon, booze, classic cars and classic rock. He was more comfortable being greasy under a hood or covered in monster guts than in a suit and tie. (Y/N) would not have him any other way, however, she knew of a whole another side of him that no one else did.

He was loving, passionate, caring and extremely domestic. He loved to cook and clean. As much as he loved horror movies, Dean also loved sappy rom-coms. He could sit back enjoying looking up at the night sky the same as he would a lap dance at a strip club. The man was all about balance of stereotypical man things and the finer things. Which is something you would never be able to tell by just meeting or seeing him.

“You enjoy the view sweetheart?” he asked smirking down at her as he stood only in a pair of jeans hanging low on his hips.

(Y/N) nodded biting her lip, “Mmhmm, handsome. I love watching you get dress, but I really wish you were just coming back to bed.”

“Me too, but hopefully Sammy and I will only be gone a few days. Then when I get back we can have all kinds of sexy time.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her causing giggles to escape her lips.

Dean finished getting ready hiding his gorgeous yet lethal body under layers of cotton, flannel and denim. He walked over to her leaning down kissing her until he took her breath away. “I’ll see ya soon, pretty girl.”

“Stay safe and come back in one piece.” She whispered as he smiled down at her.

“Always. I love you, sweetheart.” She watched as he grabbed his duffel walking towards the door.

“Love you too!” she called out hearing her front door close.

Meeting Dean was a random stroke of fate. He had been in a bar drinking up the courage to get his little brother to help him find their dad. She happened to be bartending on what was supposed to be her night off. What she believed was going to be a one night stand of the best sex of her life, turned out to be a whirlwind romance spanning the better part of a decade. Even after being with him for so long she was still finding out new things about him. Like the latest revelation bestow to her after they drank their way through a couple of bottles of whiskey.

Two Weeks Earlier

“She made you what?” (Y/N) asked tipping the bottle of Jack to her lips.

Dean grabbed the bottle from her, “Look when you’re sixteen and an older woman tells you to put on her satin underwear in order to have sex you don’t ask questions.”

(Y/N) busted into a fit of giggles, “S-So, how did you feel wearing satin panties?” His silence caught her attention and she looked over seeing his cheeks burning scarlet. “Oh. My. God.”

“Shut up.” He said taking a long drag from the bottle.

(Y/N) sat up crawling the short distance on the floor to him and straddling his lap. They had explored many fantasies in their time together and she never wanted him to feel shame for anything he desired. Seeing his embarrassed cheeks threw all joking out the door.

“Dean, you know I would never, ever judge you for anything you like. No matter what it is.” His deep forest eyes locked with her own as he sighed.

Briefly kissing her to reassure that he was okay before speaking, “To be honest I was in them long enough. She was pulling them down my legs and sucking me off but…”

He looked away from her briefly, “Yeah?” she encouraged him to continue.

“I remember how soft they felt and how snug I fit in them. I just remember wondering what it would feel like to come inside of them. I don’t know I just figured it was the musing of a horny teenage boy.” He joked showing her his Winchester smirk.

Present Day

She had let the subject drop that night but every since had been thinking about it. (Y/N) could tell it was a fantasy he thought about from time to time but never brave enough to explore. She was determined to one help him explore it together, but for now all she could do was worry about him coming back to her in one piece.

Quite a few days later, Dean had called her finally letting her know he was back at the Bunker safely. The hunt had taken longer than expected and got a little crazy. Leaning back on her couch she let out a sigh of relief, “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“Me too sweetheart. I was thinking that maybe we could get away for a few days. Jody said we could use her cabin up in Sioux Falls. Think you could get some time off work?” His voice was weary making her worry.

“Of course, Dean. I should be able to take off Friday and Monday to have an extended weekend with my favorite man.” Hearing his soft laugh brought a smile to her face.

Once she was off the phone with Dean, she knew this was the opportunity she had been waiting for. She began putting a plan together getting everything she needed before Dean picked her up on Friday morning. As they drove out to Jody’s cabin, Dean seemed like his normal self. Zeppelin was blaring from the radio, Baby was roaring down the highway and Dean was joking around the whole time.

When they arrived at the cabin and got settled in, she could tell there was more to his last hunt than he had told her. As they laid on the couch watching some horrible TV movie, (Y/N) decided to broach the subject.

“Tell me about the hunt. It seems to have affected you quite a bit.” She said muting the TV.

Dean sighed heavily, “I was cursed by a witch, some kind of memory curse according to Rowena.”

(Y/N) sat up as dread filled her body seeing how defeated he seemed talking about it. “What happened?”

He ran his hand over the back of his neck, “I began forgetting things. Little things at first like what a lamp was, or which motel room was ours. Then I began forgetting things about my own life including Sam, Cas... and you.”

When he looked over at her his eyes were shining with tears causing her heart to ache. “Oh Dean, I’m so sorry you went through that.”

“Forgetting my messed up childhood and monsters I was okay with. Forgetting you or Sam and Cas was like losing a part of my soul. I just can’t imagine how my life would have been without all of you in it. For some reason it’s really sticking with me this time.” He looked down at his hands in his lap.

(Y/N) crawled into his lap hugging him closely, “I feel the same way handsome. Though our lives are crazy, I wouldn’t have any other way.”

He smiled at her before kissing her deeply. Their make-out session on the couch turned into passionate love making in the bed room. (Y/N) could not remember the last time she felt so connected to Dean in every sense of the word. As Dean wrapped himself around her to fall asleep she could not help but dream of a life with him forever.

The next morning, she woke up before he did. Spending a few minutes watching him sleep peacefully she snuck out of bed to make him breakfast. (Y/N) was bring the tray in when she spotted him in her bag pulling out the very items she had planned on surprising him with.

“(Y/N), what are these?” he asked hesitantly rubbing the large satin panties between his fingers.

Setting the tray on the dresser she walked over to him taking them from his hands. “Remember when you were telling me about Rhonda Hurley?”

He nodded, “Yeah…” nervousness filling his voice.

“I thought we might try out seeing how it would feel for you to wear these,” she held up the satin panties, “in a safe and nonjudgmental environment.”

Dean swallowed hard, his wide eyes darting from her to the panties and back. He bit his lower lip as his cheeks turned pink again, “A-Are you sure?” he asked.

(Y/N) cupped his cheek before pressing herself up to kiss his lips, “More than sure. This isn’t all for you either, you know. I have a bit of a satin panty kink myself.”

He chuckled as his shoulders relaxed slightly, “Really? Okay, what’s first?”

(Y/N) placed the navy satin panties on the bed next to the ones that were for her. Wrapping her arms around his neck she pulled his lips to hers wanting him to relax even more. Her hands traveled down his bare chest and stomach to the waistband of his boxers. She slowly lowered herself as she pulled them down his long bow legs. He was semi-hard as she pressed little kisses on his stomach his cock resting against her throat.

She reached behind him grabbing the large panties dragging them up one leg and down the other. Dean sucked in a breath as she continued to let him feel the soft satin on his skin. With each pass his length grew harder until his cock was firmly stand to attention.

“Step into these, handsome.” She said holding the panties out from his large feet to step through.

Before dragging them up his legs she placed a trail of wet kissed along his shaft making him groan as his hips pushed forward wanting more. Letting out a soft laugh she looked up to see his green eyes blown with desire. “I promise you can have my mouth the next time. One kink at a time, Winchester.”

He growled playfully at her but stopped as soon as she began pulling the panties up his legs. They barely fit over his ass and the tip of his cock was peeking out from the waistband. She stood back letting him get used to the feeling of them. Dean shuffled nervously as she watched him.

“You’re staring.” He whispered sounded embarrassed.

She stripped off his t-shirt she had been wearing revealing her naked body and brought his hand between her legs. A small gasp escape his lips as he felt how wet she was from seeing him. She slowly rolled her hips against his hand looking up at him.

“It is a major turn on to see your thick cock barely being contained by those panties.” She let the moan building her chest escape her lips just as she stroke his length through the panties.

“Fuucck…” he groaned his head rolling back against his shoulders. “Oh god that feels good sweetheart.”

“Good now go lay down on the bed.” She said as he reluctantly moved away from her hand.

(Y/N) bit her lip stifling the small giggle bubbling within her seeing his perfect satin covered ass move to the bed. Taking the other pair of satin panties, she slipped them up her own legs before crawling onto the bed. She straddled Dean’s thighs, her eyes traveling the length of his body. No matter if he was wearing woman’s underwear or not he was still the fiercest man in the universe.

“So, when you were talking about wearing the panties at sixteen you said you want to feel how it would be to come within them.” He nodded slowly, “Well, we are going to do this horny teenager style, dry humping one another until we both come in our satin panties.”

He jaw slack slightly, “O-Okay…” he squeaked out, “I trust you completely.”

His voice was barely above a whisper but hearing that he trusted her made her heart swell with love for the man beneath her. (Y/N) began stroking his length against through the panties and he let out a deep satisfied sigh. She would take her hand from his sack all the way up to the tip and back down again. Then she leaned down running his tongue up his satin cover cock leaving a faint wet line.

“Shit do that again sweetheart.” He moaned tangling his fingers in her hair.

(Y/N) licked him a few more times before he gently pulled her up towards him rolling them on their sides facing each other. “My turn.” He said as his hand dipped down between her legs rubbing leisurely over her mound.

“Oh god Dean…” she groaned as his mouth latched onto her nipple.

His thick fingertips were rubbing circles against her clit until he began kissing his way down her body. Rolling onto her back, she looked down at the perfect moment seeing his cock peeking over the satin panties before he lowered his mouth onto his satin cover clit.

“Shit! Fuck Dean, keep doing that.” The pressure from his tongue lapping over her aching mound and his thumb rubbing circles over her clit was getting her so close to an orgasm. “Keep going handsome, I’m so close to coming.”

Dean’s mouth covered her clit and he sucked as hard he could making her come hard crying out his name. Her hips grinded against his face riding out the waves of pleasure until he was crawling up her body pressing his hard length against her core.

It never ceased to amaze her how this man could roll his hips perfectly hitting all the right spots. Now, (Y/N) was speechless at how he felt against her as his hip grinded against her. The satin panties making it easier for them to match their paces together. She wrapped her legs around his waist bringing him even further down onto her as he snapped his hips against her.

Dean’s body was tense, and she could tell by the urgency he was thrusting against her that he was close to coming. Her second orgasm was building quickly but she wanted to come with him. “Dean, please suck my nipples… I need more.”

His lips wrapped around one of her nipples as he gently sucked and licked at it. “Yes, just like that. Fuck, you feel so good handsome. Make me come with you.” She moaned as his pace quicken against her.

Dean was shamelessly humping her chasing desperately after his own release. “Shit, shit, I’m c-coming!”  he growled then did something she never expected him too.

His teeth bit down on her nipple hard causing her to cry out from the small amount of pain but mostly from the intense orgasm rushing through her body. She was still panting as he stop moving placing small kissed over her breast.

“Shit, I’m so sorry sweetheart. I didn’t mean to bite you it was just… everything felt a million times more intense than ever before.” The guilt filling his voice nearly broke her heart.

(Y/N) roughly pulled his mouth to hers smashing their lips together. Her hands trying to push the panties down his legs, so his cock could be free of the restrains. Dean was chuckling as he pulled away from her, “Damn sweetheart I don’t know if I can go for round two yet.”

“Dean Winchester, don’t you dare feel guilty for giving me the most intense and amazing orgasm of my life. That was the hottest dry humping session ever and now I need your thick cock to pound into me. Now.” She frantically pushed down her own panties as he sat up in front of her.

A cocky grin on his face as he slowly stroke his length. She spotted their panties at the end of the bed and pointed at them. “Look at those ruined satin panties, Dean. Look at them and tell me that was not the hottest thing we’ve ever done.”

(Y/N) watched his dark forest eyes widen seeing their ruined panties soaked with their separate releases. Her eyes moved down his body seeing his cock hard once again. “You know what sweetheart, you are absolutely right. However,” he crawled over her body pushing himself deep within her, “nothing will be as hot as my cock buried completely inside of you.”

(Y/N) let out a satisfied moaned as Dean slowly pumped himself in and out of her. “Oh fuck, you are so right about that.”

From that moment on, her and Dean always had a supply of satin panties everywhere they went together for whenever to moment hit them to use them.

If you enjoyed this story then check out my Masterlist!

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[mahkaria]

Of novelists and stray dogs - CHAPTER 4

Inferno 

In a dark alleyway, not too far away from the shopping district, a crowd had started to form. Most of them were men in their twenties. Dark tattoos covered their arms and their neck, as if they took pleasure in looking like stereotypical villains. They didn’t say anything.

Finally, a woman taller than the other arrived. A deep, unpleasant smirk almost cut her face in two and as she moved forward, her subordinates parted to let her pass.

No respect could be seen on their face. Only fear and regret. This woman : Katou Misao, but she was more often called The Puppeteer ; the leader of The Black Warriors .

“Boss, one of our men managed to find the list.”

“Well? Don’t make me wait and give it to me.”  She ordered.

A small book was given to her. On it, the list of all the businesses under Port Mafia’s protection.

“Perfect.” She purred. “Hana, I believe you can take care of it?” She asked to one her lieutenants.

“Of course, boss.”

“Then get to it.”

The teenager took it. Who would have thought she would use her ability this way?

His whole body hurt. He could feel his muscles contract and relax at regular intervals as they pressured his bones.

Atsushi groaned.

The mornings after a transformation were never a pleasant experience. Never.

Good thing he had finally sent his most recent short story. He didn’t want to move even a finger away from his futon..

His phone rang.

A new groan from Atsushi.

He stood up as slowly as he could his whole body cursing him for this decision. He picked up.

“Hello, Atsushi-kun. How are you?”

“Good morning, Tanaka-san. I’m fine and you?”

“I wanted to talk about your new work.” He explained.

“It’s not good enough, is it ?”

“Of course it is. I told you not to worry about it. Just, my superior read it and wanted me to pass a message.”

It’s never good when a sentence starts like that.

“He finds your style extremely dynamic and thinks it would be better for you if you were to - how do I put it? - write about different themes.”

“What? But -”

“It would sell better and be more attractive to new readers, don’t you think?”

Atsushi didn’t know what to answer.

It was thanks to the said editor in chief he had been able to find this apartment. A friend of his had agreed to lend him the place as long as he kept working for them. He was a nice forty-nine years old who had greatly encouraged Atsushi. He owed him more than he could ever pay back.

If that’s what he wants I can’t go against him but -

“I’m sorry I -”

“Atsushi-kun, you do want to keep having a job, right?”

“Of course.”

“Then, you should do what I say. Stories about mythology and historical events are fine but they get boring with time. You won’t keep earning a lot if you only focus on this.”

“Yes but-”

“I’m your editor, don’t you trust me?” Tanaka asked.

“Of course I do !”

“Then do as I say. Write about more modern subjects. I know you’re a kid and can’t totally understand it but I’m only here to advise you. Listen to me or you could really regret it.”

“I see, thank you very much.”

“Glad we understand each other. I’ll wait for you next story then. I’m sure you’ll do great, it won’t be too hard for you to change, right?”

“I’ll do my best.”

“Cool, have a nice day.”

“Good bye.” Atsushi stuttered.

A soft bip and the young boy was alone with his thoughts. All hopes of a peaceful morning had vanished with one conversation.

What does writing about more modern subject even mean? He wondered.

Until now, Kunikida, his grandmother and Sensei had always praised his writings. Did they only do it by mere politeness? No, they weren’t this kind of people. Kunikida was as blunt as an uppercut; a trait he shared with his caretaker.

Sensei firmly valued honesty and had never hesitated at criticizing Atsushi when it was needed. He wouldn’t lie.

He trusted them more than anyone but at the same time…

Maybe he should go to a bookshop see which were the best sellers?

He fell on his futon once again.

I’ll do it later.

As his eyes were about to close once again, another ringing disturbed him. From his door this time.

He didn’t expect anyone. It would either be publicity or one of his neighbours. They could wait. Atsushi threw his pillow over his head. Only a hurricane would prevent him from resting.

After a moment, no sound came.

One minute

Two minutes

Three minutes

They had probably left.

“At - su - shi - kun ~” A giggling voice whispered next to his ear.

A deep shriek shook the whole building.

“Wow, so energetic when you just woke up? I’m envious !”

“Da- Dazai-san?”

“Yo! Atsushi-kun ! How are you in this fine day?”

The said boy looked left and right. Then left and right once more. No, there was no mistake on his part. It was indeed still his apartment. So it only meant one thing.

“Dazai-san, please stop picking my lock !” He screamed.

“But you weren’t answering.”

“I could have been absent.” Atsushi protested.

“You only go out in the afternoon. In the morning, you just work.”

“How do you know that?”

“That’s a secret!”

I haven’t seen him in three days and I already can’t deal with him anymore.  Atsushi sighed.

“Ca- Can I help you?”

“Odasaku and I are going to explore the city.”

“Have fun, then.”

“Want to come with us?”

“My apologies but I really can’t come with you right now.”

“Do you have something to do?”

“No, but -”

“Then, there is no problem. Come on!”

A hand sneaked inside his warm bed covers.  Its temperature could compare to an iceberg’s. Not something pleasant to come upon when you wanted to relax.

Before he could screech in outrage, he felt it pull him away from the comfort of his futon. Atsushi clawed at his futon in the hope to stay protected but in vain. For such a thin person, Dazai had more strength than it first appeared. Stubbornness too since no matter how hard Atsushi’s other foot kicked him, he refused to let go.

“Good fighting spirit but I won’t lose !” Dazai proclaimed.

And with one final push Atsushi’s face met the hard floor.

“Now, get ready, Atsushi-kun, for we are going on a great adventure !”

“I don’t have a choice, do I?”

“No, you don’t.”

Dazai’s smile had widened so much he could have passed for the Cheshire Cat. He patted Atsushi’s hair softly and with one more smile he went out of the room but added before :

“Get dressed, Atsushi-kun. Stimulating your mind from time to time is a good thing.”

Once fully clothed, he found Oda outside. The older man sent him a sorry smile as Dazai complained about how long he had taken to get ready.

“I’m sorry if it sounds rude but shouldn’t you be at work?” Atsushi wondered.

“He is working.” Dazai said while pointing at the cast around his arm. “Odasaku is my bodyguard for the day.”

Once again, he felt shivers run through his body. Few jobs necessitated to have this kind of protection.

Without wanting to, he had fallen into quite a troublesome situation.

“Now, gentlemen, let’s go.” Dazai cheerfully said.

“Are you sure it is safe to bring him here?” Odasaku whispered as they walked toward the shopping district.

“It will be fine, nothing should happen.”

His friend nodded as the worry in his eyes faded.

You shouldn’t trust me this much, Odasaku. I’ll end up disappointing you.

A hand caught his arm. His head rose up and met an intense stare from his friend.

“I know you’re planning something.” He said. “But I also know you’re not actively trying to hurt Nakajima. Don’t worry, Dazai.”

“I’m the epitome of calmness, Odasaku.”

Nakajima Atsushi was a strange kid, Dazai quickly realized (again).

As they travelled through the city, he would often stop and write in his notebook as he stared with wonder at whatever was in front of him. When he had looked over his shoulder, he had seen nothing but gibberish which didn’t make any sense.

It didn’t seem to faze Odasaku. When Atsushi had done it for the first time he had merely watched and hadn’t said anything as if it was perfectly normal.

Was it some weird habit of writers he couldn’t understand?

Another strange habit was how he had tried to escape when Odasaku had proposed to buy him a drink. Why would someone react so violently because of a bottle of green tea?

This, associated to what he had discovered at the orphanage told him enough about the kid than he needed. Only one last information and he would have enough datas.

As they entered a bookshop he saw Atsushi stiffen.

“Is there anything wrong, Nakajima?”

“No, not at all. Do you mind if I take a look around?”

“Of course not, we have time.”

Odasaku followed him. Protectiveness or curiosity about his favorite author? Good question.

Dazai looked at his best friend as he talked with the kid about literature. It had been a while since he had looked so happy.

Romance. Thriller. Pseudo Psychology.

Nothing which went well with his style or which really interested him. Great.

Atsushi forced himself to read the summary of the best seller of the week, a book titled : A mysterious Girl . He had read a few books of this particular writer. They always followed the same pattern which after a while destroyed the novelist’s style. Solid writing was important but remained superficial if the plot didn’t follow.

I’ll never be able to write something like that.

He liked thriller, even loved it sometimes but he didn’t want to write them. Romance by itself was often boring (apart from a few exceptions) and psychology, well…

At twelve years old, how was he supposed to give life advice? He didn’t know enough to really help this way.

“I didn’t know you liked this kind of story.” Oda commented behind him.

“They are not my cup of tea.” He admitted. “But it’s never too late to broaden your horizon, right?”

The uncertain look he got perfectly mirrored his own thoughts.

He didn’t like those books or even worse, he was indifferent toward them. Yet, Tanaka wanted him to write something like those?

“You don’t seem well.” Oda said.

“I feel-”

As he was about to keep talking, a smell interrupted him. It reminded him of a dying fire, when the last sparks of red faded away in the dark. A mix of smoke and burnt wood.

He turned around. Where did it come from?

A few meters away, a young woman was busy reading a poetry collection. Tears came down her face as she closed it and put it away.

For a moment, their eyes met. She -

“Nakajima?”

“Sorry, I was lost in my thoughts.”

“That’s okay. Are you going to buy it?”

“Y- Yes, I am.”

They came out after this. Oda had bought a book from Robert Louis Stevenson. Atsushi wasn’t drooling over it. Not at all.

“I’ll lend it to you once I am done.” The older said.

“Thank you.”

Outside, an unexpected awaited them. Dazai kept jumping from right to left as a red haired young man kept trying to kick him.

“Will you remain still, you damn bastard?”

“Chuuya is getting slower. Must be old age.” Dazai singsonged as he avoided a nasty strike which would have robbed him from his front teeth.

“I’m going to show you “old age”, you fucking jerk.”

Passerbys watched them with a mix of amusement and displeasure as the two young men kept wreaking havoc in the street.

“Is Dazai-san okay?”

“Don’t worry, they’re always like that.”

It didn’t really make him feel better.

The newcomer jumped forward and barely missed Dazai. HIs fist met a wall. When he took it away : a hole as big as a football.

“He didn’t forget to hold back this time.” Oda commented.

That’s holding back?

“I said stop moving !”

“Oda-san, why is he so angry?”

“I don’t know. Probably because of something Dazai said.”

“You’re my dog ! You shouldn’t be trying to hit me every time.” The young executive whined.

“I’d rather die.” Another wall fell victim to his fury.

Some people had started to film the whole fight. Did they not see it wasn’t a joke?

Dazai burst into laughter.

Okay, he understood why no one was taking the situation seriously.

“They’re attracting a lot of attention.” Oda noticed.

“Is it bad?”

“It’s not something Dazai would do without a plan.” He conceded.

Instinctively, his body moved toward Atsushi so the boy would be closer. If something was to happen, he would need protection.

After a moment, the two teenagers calmed down and came toward them. A deep flush of exasperation could still be seen on Chuuya’s face.

“Nakahara.” He saluted.

“Oda. Still dealing with the mackerel’s bullshit?”.

“Well, someone has to.” He said lightly.

No teasing could have sounded fonder. It was another proof of how much Dazai and Oda shared a strong bond. As Dazai’s fake hurt exploded, Chuuya and Oda exchanged a silent conversation. Atsushi would have been unable to interpret it.

That’s when the new boy noticed him. Scrutinizing azure eyes fixed him. If seeing him fight was terrifying, it was nothing in comparaison of having his whole attention.

“Who are you?”

“Na-Nakajima Atsushi. Pleasure to meet you.”

“Nakahara Chuuya. You took another charity case?” He grumbled to his partner.

You would have had to be deaf in order not to hear Dazai’s laughters.  

“Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?”

“Soon, you’ll regret your words and I’m waiting for this moment.”

“You make even less sense than usual. Congrats, I guess.”

However, discomfort and suspicion had appeared. Dazai often liked to provoc him without any reason. Seeing Chuuya worry about nothing had some kind of interest he could quite fathom. But, it seemed different right now.

Suddenly, his conversation with Prof Specs came back to his mind.

"for such a young kid to be a writer"

“Please, tell me I’m wrong.”

“You know I’ll never lie to you, Chuu-ya ~”

“I hate you so fucking damn much.”

The two last days, the two of them had had to deal with a rival gang. It would have been easy had they not put their hands on high level weapons. A dozen of their subordinates had been killed. Dazai got a broken arm and Chuuya a very strong need to hit the wall with his head.

He had collapsed and had been woken up by an annoying buzz from his phone. The text received was the following :

Hello, little hatrack ! How is the weather down there?

Have you faded out of existence yet? If you haven’t, go to this address [position] as soon as possible !!! You’ll see something interesting. No I’m not talking about poor quality hats. Get your mind out of the gutter. Something really interesting !!!

If you have indeed faded out of existence well… see you in hell! I’ll be allowed to annoy you for the rest of eternity. Can’t wait (ᗒᗨᗕ)(＾▽＾)(◕⍸ ◕✿)

In his exhaustion, Chuuya had written a very eloquent answer :

Fuck you. Seriously how can you be so fucking annoying?

Dazai, always the same, had replied :

(∩^o^)⊃━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

Killing him would be too nice of a punishment. Chuuya had a ten pages long list of things he would do to him before achieving him.

Despite his foul mood, he had exited his room and went to the place indicated. They were partners but didn’t communicate more than needed. If Dazai had written to him, it was important.

Right now, as he stared at a too thin and scared kid, he wondered if he hadn’t done it just for this to happen. If he hadn’t woken up so early he would have never been so rough and Dazai knew it. The jerk.

Words refused to get out of his mouth.

“Chuuya looks like a fish.” Dazai snickered.

“I don’t want to hear that from you.”

Oda and Atsushi were still watching them. The older had a small almost invisible amused light in his eyes. Of course he would find the situation funny, he wasn’t friend with the bastard for nothing.

“Listen…” God, those scared purple eyes. Hello, guilt, nice to see you again. “Hum…”

“Wow, you’re terrible at it.” Dazai commented as Oda nodded.

“You, shut the trash hole you call a mouth !” Chuuya tsked.

“Rude. What is Atsushi-kun going to think?”

At this moment, Chuuya realized two things :

Firstly, he’d never be able to have a real conversation with the author if Dazai was still here.

Secondly, he had always been more focused on action rather than thoughts. He wouldn’t change today. Brawn instead of brain.

He put Atsushi on his shoulder and ran.

Mad cackles shook Dazai’s whole body. Oda waited for his friend to calm down and then asked:

“You knew this would happen?”

“Well, of course ! Chibi’s actions aren’t exactly hard to anticipate. When in a strenuous situation he’ll either attack or run away. Since Atsushi-kun was here he couldn’t allow himself to traumatize him even more since he respects him.”

“You wanted Nakahara to meet him.”

“Maybe.”

“It’s nice of you.”

“Why?”

“Well, thanks to you he met someone he admires.”

“Do I look like such a kind person?” He wondered aloud.

“You do, why?”

Warmth invaded his face but he managed to hide it.

Seriously Odasaku, don’t say this kind of thing…

“Because what just happened is only a part of my plan.”

Chuuya ran until they reached the central place. In its middle, a fountain stood surrounded by multi coloured flowers. It would have calming had he not been on someone he barely knew’s shoulder.

Why is it my life?

He was put down carefully which allowed him to have a better view of his kidnapper (?). His azure eyes didn’t look at him, his embarrassment obvious.

“Sorry for that.”

“T-That’s alright.”

“Stop looking as if I’m going to murder you. I just wanted to talk.” He ordered before sighing. “God, this stupid mackerel is right I’m terrible at this.” Then : “Don’t tell him I said that.”

“I won’t.”

A moment of silence. This whole situation couldn’t have been more awkward. Chuuya had never lived worse and he had once gotten his hair dyed by Dazai. Having almost rainbow hair for two months had been a nightmare. No enemy took you seriously when you looked like a cartoon character.

“So, you’re Tsukishiro Ren?” He asked after a moment of hesitation.

Now, that wasn’t a question he expected.

“Yes.”

“Didn’t think you would be a kid.”

“I know it is disappointing.”

“That’s not what I said. It’s just surprising, I guess. The subjects of your books made me think you were older.”

Atsushi thought about the scars adorning his back and his ribs. Decorations which wouldn’t leave him until his death.

“Experience and age aren’t as related as people like to think.”

“I won’t argue with you on that one. Can I buy you something to drink? It’ll be an apology for dragging you here.”

“There is no need to.”

“ ‘Should have known you’d say this. You look like the kind of person who won’t accept anything because they think they’ll be a burden. That’s stupid. Follow me.”

Nakahara Chuuya, Atsushi understood quickly, was like fire. He could both warm and burn but what he did he always did it with a passion no one could relate to.

As he talked to the young writer about his stories, about small details even he had started to forget, he felt joy blossoming inside of him.

Maybe I’m worth being read.

After a moment, the feared awaited question came :

“What are you currently working on?”

“Nothing for the moment. I’m still looking for ideas.”

“No inspiration?”

“My editor wants me to change what I write about.” Atsushi confessed.

“But why? Doesn’t it sell well? I checked how many of your short stories collection you sold. It’s good enough, right ?”

“For me it is, but he doesn’t seem satisfied.”

Chuuya stared at him for a moment. He bore the same bewildered expression that Atsushi had carried sooner. But more than this, pain could be read on his face. He didn’t want this to happen.

Considering his line of work, I didn’t expect him to be as affected as he is by this.

Yet, Atsushi couldn’t deny a part of him liked this turn of event. Sensei, Kunikida and his grandmother  then Oda and Chuuya.

Having people who cared was nice.

“It’ll be fine. I’ll manage somehow.”

“No way, I’m not letting you deal with it by yourselves. Don’t worry, I’ll-”

Before Chuuya could finish, a deep unpleasant smell came to his attention. Something was burning.

“Nakahara-san, we should-”

He didn’t manage to finish his warning.

The world burst into flames.

Red and oranges tongues were eating away at one of the closest building. From what remained of the front windows he could see it used to be an antiquity shop. Now, it only served as combustible for a fire which had no intention to stop.

“So interesting things are finally starting to happen.” Someone commented.

“Did you follow us?” Chuuya snarled.

“As if it was complicated. You can hardly be called discrete, chibi.” Dazai mocked.

“Is that what you wanted to see?” Oda asked as he pointed to the fire who was starting to spread to other shops.

“The boss wanted me to investigate. Some of our “associates” have found themselves in troublesome position. Most of them live around this street.”

“They should still be around. Let’s find them.”

“Is the hatrack giving orders now? How bold for someone who isn’t an executive.”

“Want me to punch you again?”

“O please, you didn’t even manage to-”

“They are going to get away if you keep fighting.” Oda commented.

“Shit, you’re right. Atsushi, you should stay here. Or maybe go- Wait, what are you doing?”

In front of them, a little girl stood. She looked lost and kept walking backward and forward.

“Are you alright?” Atsushi asked her softly. Her face was covered in tears.

“Daddy is still inside.”

Insi- O no !

It had been a few minutes since everything had started. Soon, the building would collapse, his foundations too damaged to maintain it. If he wanted to do something it had to be now.

I can’t do it. It’s impossible.

Someone like you can’t do anything.

The tiger growled.

“Mister?”

“Yes?”

“Is he gonna be okay?” She had to be around three or four years old. Maybe a little bit older.

Someone like you can’t do anything , the headmaster’s voice repeated. We’ll only know that if I try , he retorted.

Atsushi knew he didn’t have the confidence to do it but…

Many people had believed in him and in his capacities. He knew he would survive this. The tiger and he didn’t get along but the beast was still protective of him no matter what.

He could do it.

“Yes, he is.” Atsushi said to the child.

“Nakaji-”

Atsushi ran.

It felt like being inside the strange mix between a volcano and a nightmare. Everything was searing and suffocating. Around him he could see the remnants of objects which could have been beautiful before but which just looked downright terrifying at the moment. Stuffed animals and porcelain dolls didn’t look better when fire was devouring them.

Walking had never been this hard. Each step was painful. Most of the time, he didn’t even know where to put his feet in order not to get burnt.

Another problem was to find the man. Fortunately, his eyes had never betrayed him. When he opened them once again, white had turned into yellow and his human pupils became cat-like.

He is in the back shop.

His skin burnt and his lungs hated him. Smoke filled them and no matter how much he healed, it hurt. Tears fell down his face and with each of them it felt like a part of his life was leaving him.

Opening the door turned out to be a trial. When he finally managed it, his skin had taken a dark red colour. He brushed it away. He had endured worse.

“I have nothing against you, sir, but I have orders.” A soft voice whispered as he entered the back shop.

How could she be so calm at an instant like this?

Big brown eyes stared at him when she finally noticed him. It was the girl from the bookshop.

“What are you doing here?” She panicked.

He didn’t have the strength to answer back. He bent down and caught the man in front of him. Consciousness had almost left him.

“And he’s just a kid ! I can’t kill a kid ! I’m in trouble, so much trouble.” She was so lost in her own thoughts, she didn’t budge when he left.

He had better things to do than listen to a pyromaniac.

Carrying him would be an almost herculean task but he could manage. Slowly, he brought him to the exit.

No air in his lungs, no real path to follow which wasn’t covered by burning ruins and a heat so violent it was as if he was being cooked.

Each part of his body had been strengthened by his ability. Thanks to it, he was able to reach his goal. Relief flooded in his body. That was until he heard it.

The building will not hold for much longer.

He only had a few meters left. Only a few meters and he could see the sunlight again. Real warmth instead of this inferno. Atsushi tried to move quicker.

It wasn’t enough.

He perceived with extreme clarity the moment when the place gave up. Cracks turned into snaps and that was it.

Stones were raining on them. Had he been alone, he might have a chance to avoid it but right now?

Would his healing even work if he was crushed like an ant? It was something he was probably about to find out.

Closer and closer. Nothing could stop them. He could already feel his bones break under the stones’ weight.

Closer and closer. He still remembered the little girl’s words.

Closer and closer. Maybe it would end quickly and not be painful..

“After all, she only asked me to destroy this place. It’s not my fault if you don’t die.”

A tornado of flames went over their head and projected the debris away from them. He turned back.

The young woman was watching them. Her brown hair flew behind like an imitation of the fire she had caused.

“Leave, now or I won’t be able to protect you this time.”

“T-Thank you.” He whispered. Talking was close to impossible.

“It’s my fault if this is happening. Don’t thank me, please, and leave.”

He tried to answer but his throat refused and he decided to nod toward her instead.

The smile she gave him was one of the saddest he had ever seen.

When he finally exited and joined a cooler, less painful world, someone was waiting for them. Oda’s hair was going in all sort of different directions and a strong agitation had invaded his eyes. He went as far away as possible from the former shop, delicately put the man down and once he had checked the man was still breathing, he walked toward Oda.

“Are you alright?” Atsushi inquired.

The man opened his mouth as if he didn’t believe what he was hearing.

“You- you…”

“Maybe you should sit. You’re really pale, Oda-sa-”

A pair of arms engulfed him and stuck to a muscled chest. It didn’t feel uncomfortable. Quite the contrary but Atsushi couldn’t understand why he was doing it.

“Is something wrong?”

“You’re probably the stupidest, bravest kid I have ever met. Don’t you ever do that again.” Oda ordered.

“I can’t apologize for what I did.”

“I knew you were going to say that.” Oda chuckled.

The same strong hands were holding him as if he was an anchor. As if he didn’t want him to disappear. Fingers ran through his hair. They were shorter now, the fire had latched onto them and if the tiger hadn’t helped he probably would have faced far worse consequences.

“We need to bring you to an hospital.”

“It’s not necessary. I’m fine.”

For sole answer, Oda moved away, took Atsushi’s arm and brought it in front of his eyes. His skin had taken an almost crayfish shade. Most of his hairs had darkened and he could see a rather nasty burnt on his leg now that he paid a real attention. His lungs were also tightening painfully in his chest which didn’t predict anything good.

“Adrenaline?” He wondered.

“It’s going to start hurting soon. Someone called an ambulance. It should take too long to arrive so stay as still as you can.” Oda acquiesced.

As Atsushi was about to protest - he was fine , in a few minutes most of his wounds would have disappeared - Chuuya and Dazai joined them.

“She ran away, the bitch.” Chuuya complained.

“That’s because you were too slow, chibi.” Dazai explained. “At least now we know what she looks like.”

“Say that again, you damn bas-”

“You’re still alive, Atsushi-kun, I thought for a moment we’d have to find you a nice green spot to bury you. That’s surprising.”

“Shut up, mackerel. You alright here?”

“I’m fine.”

“That’s quite the stunt you pulled here.”

“I had the ability to help.” Atsushi said, his voice oddly resolved. “So I did.”

A moment of silence and then his interlocutor’s face contorted with distaste.

“Shit, shit, shit.” Chuuya kept cursing. “You managed to find the only person more suicidal than the mackerel.”

“I am offended.” Dazai smiled as his hand started messing with Atsushi’s hair. “He behaved like the perfect suicidal maniac without any of my influence.”

Coughs climbed up and Atsushi’s whole body started protesting as he felt his whole blood boil.

It hurt. Why have I stopped healing?

The tiger was no longer present in his head. He had disappeared like flowers during winter. Only fear and panic remained. The taste of copper invaded his mouth and his mind blurred. Without the strength of the beast, he couldn’t manage to stand any longer.

“Nakajima, are you al-”

His legs gave out as his mind disconnected from reality. Falling into the dark didn’t take more than a second.

[bjro233]

The Life of a Gay Man and His Need To Prove It

#1 The “Gay Gene”

               Although it has only been found in males, a linkage to males and homosexuality has been discovered by Dean Hamer and colleagues. On X chromosomes there is an unidentified gene that these scientists have named Xq28, which they relate directly to homosexuality. It’s a very controversial theory but ultimately purposes so many answers.            

#2 Evidence is Mounting for Homosexual Men

               “In 1993, genetic variations in a region on the X chromosome in men were linked to whether they were heterosexual or homosexual, and in 1995, a region on chromosome 8 was identified.” says Andy Coghlan from thenewscientist.com. This just proves that no, gay men don’t just wake up one morning and say “Hey, I wanna try dick today.”

#3 The Third Gender: Muxes

              In southern Mexico, the Zapotec people recognize a third gender called Muxes. In our culture, they would be known as homosexual people and transgendered people. This just makes me realize that some cultures, although so old, are so ahead of their time, open-minded, and progressive. Another reason to yell @ Donald Trump, don’t build the damn wall.  

  #4 We Are Not Alone

              Listen, science isn’t the only thing that proves this theory. Look at our environment and what isn’t directly affected by or altered by humans. “Homosexual behaviour is a natural biological feature and is common among non-human animals. In at least one species – sheep – individual animals have been known to form lasting preferences for same-sex partners.” says Australias Science Channel. Fun Fact: the oldest living tortoise who was thought to be female but was actually male only mated with males. Thus showing why no babies were being born.

#5 Should We Care About Giving Reason To Being Gay?

                Of course, being gay myself, you’re faced with a lot of harassment, questioning, judgment, and bigotry. Religion really attacks you, and you’re forced to feel like an outcast and forced into a stereotype. So, given the chance and these scientific findings, it can help explain to people who don’t believe/understand. It normalizes sexuality, it lowers being/feeling like a minority. “It adds yet more evidence that sexual orientation is not a ‘lifestyle choice’. But the real significance is that it takes us one step closer to understanding the origins of one of the most fascinating and important features of human beings.” says Dean Hammer from newscientist.com.

#6 Being A Watermelon in A Sea Full of Cacti

                      One word: Grindr. If you’re a gay male, you either gagged or hid your face in shamefulness for using the app. My need to prove myself starts here, it completely drains lives of romance and relationship oriented people. It sends a message that all gay men are they same, they’re horny and only want to bone. “The mental health professionals I spoke to are seeing problematic Grindr use in their clinics. And there is little published guidance on how to help those who are struggling.” says Jack Turban with Vox.com. This app is notorious for only being used to have sex, and it’s showing and obviously causing detrimental effects on gay men.

#7 Breaking Stereotypes One Straight @ A Time

                    Growing up, I only had girlfriends. Instead of playing basketball or throwing a football at recess, after school, in college, etc... I jumped rope. I learned how to french braid, I sang and danced. I yearned for the male on male friendship, or bromance you may say. I never got it because theres a stereotype, “I don’t have a problem with gay guys, but if he hits on me its game over.” Now, I can say once straight cis men give me a shot, they realize the stupidity behind it. I always here, “I’m not gay, but you’re one of the coolest dudes.” which isn’t ideal, but it’s progress.                    

#8 Trouble in the Workplace

                     When I bring up LGBTQ issues to acquaintances, a lot of the times i’m faced with “I don’t think gay people have a lot of issues nowadays”. But we dont, thats why I feel its so important for me to prove myself, my life, and what comes along with it. The facts, the struggles, the ugly truth. “59% said that where they live, they are less likely to be afforded employment opportunities because they are part of the LGBTQ community. One in five stated that they have had difficulty when applying for positions.” says victoryinstitute.net

#9 Let’s Prove Stats Wrong!

               Statistics can be demeaning, not all the time are they helpful or good. Sadly, for the LGBTQ+ community, the stats are disheartening. For example, LGBTQ people are 5X as likely to commit suicide than heterosexual people says thetrevorproject.org. 77% of LGBTQ youth reported are depressed, have anxiety, and/or have feelings of worthlessness says hrc.org. So, to all the heterosexual people out there wondering where their “Straight month” or “Straight parade is”, you have it, 11 months out of the year because you dont have struggles like that.

#10 Trans People are Simply, People.

                  Working with white, privileged, conservative, middle-to-upper class women, i’m forced to hear a lot of what they believe and how they think and what political decision they have recently made. Now and then, obvious and not so obvious transgendered women come into the store to shop and they outwardly treat them different or question the “real gender” of the person. I ask myself why whatever is under their clothes matter so much to them. When I tell them they are a woman, and that’s all they are, they are confused and partly agitated because I didn’t give them the answer they wanted to hear. Saddening fact? In a national study, 40% of transgender adults reported having made a suicide attempt. 92% of these individuals reported having attempted suicide before the age of 25 says thetrevorproject.org. Maybe if we stop making people feel so different, and start working toward progression instead of sticking our nose where it doesnt belong, we could actually get somewhere. Proving myself, to help the Trans community.

#11 “Gay People Can’t Naturally Reproduce”

                          I want a family, I want someone to call my husband. My son or daughter, my family. I need that in my life weather it is “natural” or not. People are so pressed about the natural way of things, but they can’t see that a majority of LGBTQ people who don’t reproduce via a man and a woman, help reduce the amount of foster children.14,000 foster children are being raised by Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual foster parents says Movement Advanced Project. Just because I am a man, married to a man, with our own children doesn’t make us any less capable for raising a family. 

#12 LG(B)TQ+

                Another group of people that are drastically hated on for being themselves. Human beings can’t grasp that someone may actually be more concerned about someones personality rather than their sexual organs. According to 2013 research by the University of Pittsburgh, 15% of people did not categorize bisexuality as a legitimate sexuality, with straight men being three times as likely to think it's "not a thing." People looking at you and just thinking you’re fake or just too horny. It’s pathetic, hence another reason to prove myself, my sexuality, for the other groups in my community.

#13 You Can Be Cured With Some Treatment & Religion - Mackelmore

                     Ever since before me, for a very long time, we were taught that there are conversion treatments, that being gay was a mental disability, a deformity. There were actually shock therapy treatments and conversion camps for LGBTQ+ people, people were killed in the midst of these treatments. But heres, *tap tap* the mutha f*ucking, *tap tap* TEA! American Psychological Association undertook a thorough review of the existing research on the efficacy of conversion therapy and their report noted that there was very little  research on sexual orientation change efforts (SOCEs) and that the "results of scientifically valid research indicate that it is unlikely that individuals will be able to reduce same-sex attractions or increase other-sex sexual attractions through SOCE." says hrc.com. Today there are still states that legalize this method!! Stop this!!

#14 The Importance of PRIDE

                   This isn’t just a time for LGBTQ+ people and allies to strut down the street in cute colorful clothing. This parade we participate in is a lesson, its teaching others about what we’re trying to do. Policies, laws, and other arguments we want and need heard. During the 2000s, battles at local, state, and national levels were being fought for marriage equality. Pride parades were utilized to educate the public, generate support, and encourage lawmakers to vote in favor of LGBT rights says thegayfamilylawmaker.com. We need to educate people on the education pride parades actually do. If it wasn’t for these parades, we wouldn’t have made the progress we have today. 

#15 The Audacity!?

                 My need to prove myself may be... borderline pathetic. HOWEVER, it’s so important and necessary in today’s society. The fact that just in 1982, it was okay to openly discriminate against LGBTQ people. IN 1996, it was BANNED to marry unless it was between a man and a women. Only in 2011 was “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” finally repealed. This may sound like good news... but then BAM! THIS YEAR, President Trump banned Transgender people from being in the military.(CNN.com) Every time we feel like we’re ahead, we get knocked back down a few steps. This is why it is important, this is why it is necessary, this is why i’m doing it. 

REFERENCES

https://australiascience.tv/science-of-sexuality/

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/cross-cultural-evidence-for-the-genetics-of-homosexuality/

https://www.newscientist.com/article/2155810-what-do-the-new-gay-genes-tell-us-about-sexual-orientation/

https://www.sciencenews.org/article/genetics-dna-homosexuality-gay-orientation-attractiveness-straight

https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2018/10/giant-study-links-dna-variants-same-sex-behavior

https://www.cnn.com/2015/06/19/us/lgbt-rights-milestones-fast-facts/index.html

https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2018/4/4/17177058/grindr-gay-men-mental-health-psychiatrist

https://victoryinstitute.org/issue-at-a-glance-lgbtq-employment-discrimination/

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/preventing-suicide/facts-about-suicide/#sm.00001tfv8n5yekdvsq5f6al6h6i7u

https://www.hrc.org/resources/2018-lgbtq-youth-report

https://justlists.wordpress.com/2012/01/18/familyequality/

[weasleyimaginewheezes]

George x Hufflepuff! Reader / Kisses in the sun

Request: Hey I was wondering if you could do a George Weasley fanfic about a Hufflepuff who’s very awkward and tends to stumble on words, yet is outgoing if someone pushes them to do it. I tend to be very quiet and stuck in my own thought spiral most of the time and I get really random thoughts. I love chemistry (potions? I guess ��) it comes really easy for me. I don’t have many friends but I love meeting new people. Thanks love xx. (from @hufflepuffseeker)

A/n Thank you for requesting, you’re so lovely and I’m exactly the same way with people 😂😊 plus I’m a Hufflepuff too so I loved writing this 💛 Turns out my phone managed to delete the ending and I couldn’t remember what I wrote but I still think the ending is alright. A/n

Word count: 3k+

Warnings: Bit of swearing.

The birds tweeted gleefully above you in the morning sun, you watched them fly from the castle out into the forest. Owls of every colour and breed flew past them and into the great hall to deliver the morning mail. 

You sat by the lake, skipping stones on the rustling water attempting to shuffle your thoughts into concentration. Yet they drifted more, thinking of the students sitting down and having their breakfast, reading whatever drabble the daily prophet printed today. 

You knew you should be there, joining them and hearing the latest news and gossip from your friends but you weren’t hungry, how could you be? Exams were in less than 2 weeks and you still had half of the syllable for charms and transfiguration to learn. At least you were comfortable with one subject; potions. Everyone thought it was a bit strange, a Hufflepuff excelling at potions but not Herbology. Ugh stereotypes. 

You didn’t know what exactly drew you to the subject but you loved the thought of creating new things by hand, watching the cauldron sizzle and the colours change from neon green to blood red.

You laid on the grass staring up at the sky again, hoping for a spark of inspiration. Your eyes closed against the bright protruding sun. It was blinding even through your eyelids. You sighed in relief as a cloud must have eclipsed it. You opened your eyes hoping to watch the world rotate just a little more but someone was staring down at you. The boy’s presence made you jump into a sitting position, your heart failing with freight. 

“I’m sorry love.” You looked up blinking through the bright sun to see George Weasley standing there not looking sorry at all. You got up slowly, brushing your legs rid off stray grass and mud. 

“Damn it George, you nearly killed me.” He rolled his eyes at your melodramatics, earning him a playful smack on the arm. 

You were blushing. George had noticed but he didn’t bring it up because he was pretty sure his cheeks had taken on a different colour as well and not just from the sun. 

A sort of silence passed, the only interruptions being the sound of hooting owls flying back to the west tower. You raised your eyebrows at the mischievous twin in question but he didn’t read it and just smiled. “Well, what do you want?” 

“Can I not just come see the best potion princess of Hufflepuff without need or want of anything?” George asked it so innocently that it made you giggle ever so slightly. But you knew what he was here for. 

“I haven’t done it yet, okay? With exams and everything I’ve been busy.” You explained it as if you shouldn’t have had to. George just nodded in understanding. 

Him and Fred had practically cornered you in the corridor last week. They asked if you would help them with something but they refused to mention the exact details. You were hesitant but after one look into George’s puppy dog eyes you were hypnotised and sold. They wanted you to make a potion with an exact list of specific ingredients and see the outcome. You’d barely had time to actually make the potions you were meant to let alone ones for silly pranks, which you heavily expected the concoction to be for.

“That’s alright.” George looked genuine in understanding unlike his twin who might have jokingly told you to ditch all the school crap and help them. You smiled gratefully towards him before sitting back down on the grass. Without any given invitation George joined you and although it was a distraction, it was a welcome one at that. “Hey, you know exams aren’t the end of the world.”

Your eyes roamed from where they had been admiring the sun’s reflection on the water to where George was sat. He was quite close to your side, his hand within reaching distance. “I know. I just want to do well and get a good job and have a successful life-“ Your words died in your quickly drying throat for George had just grabbed your hand. 

“Just don’t stress okay? Nothing good can come of that and we don’t need any mental breakdowns if you’re gonna help us.” 

“What is all this for anyway?” You had to ask. You were helping them and for all you knew they were using the potion in a plan to prank you. There was another moment’s silence before George answered.

“Okay I’ll tell you but you can’t breathe a word to anyone.” George looked hesitant, more so than you had ever seen him. “Me and Fred are gonna open a joke shop.” His eyes glittered with excitement. You couldn’t hide your surprise at the fact, it hadn’t been at all what you were expecting. 

“Wow, that’s- that’s...” Your voice trailed away not being able to find the right string of words to place together. 

“What? Do you hate the idea?” George looked hurt and you immediately stuttered in the rush to place the words.

“No! No! I think it’s amazing! It’s perfect actually.” You smiled reassuringly at George, who looked disbelieving. “Really George and I can’t believe you want me to help you with it. I’m honoured.” You put your hand over your heart in what you hoped was a humble way. 

“Well yeah who else would we ask? Snape?” You laughed at his joke and tilted your head, shaking it at his humour. He joined in your laughter briefly before it faded. His eyes met yours and a silence, much different to earlier, passed between you. It was a silence full of tension and unsaid words, a tension that had been building for at least a year now.

You had been friends with George since second year when you’d been paired together for potions. He wasn’t happy about being parted from Fred after the both of them had caused a major spill on their table, the potion (incorrectly made) burning holes into the wood. George had marvelled at your growing potions talent. His own cauldron had melted into a puddle on the table as he watched you, Snape had just been about to deduct points or worse give him detention when you covered for him, saying it was your mistake. 10 points had been taken from Hufflepuff but Snape couldn’t give you any worse because you were one of his best students, a fact he hated. 

Fred had quickly became your friend too, any time you spent with George was also spent with Fred. But your friendship was different, it was more of a brother-sister relationship than anything else as much as Fred liked to joke. George would typically tense at these jokes of romance between you and Fred but you were oblivious and so was Fred. That was until George made it clear to his brother why the jokes made him uncomfortable. They stopped soon after and were replaced with jokes instead about you and George ending up together. You stuttered and scoffed at them trying to hide your true desire to admit that all those jokes were your dream reality. 

A year ago was when you knew you were in deep shit and that all of this was more than just a childhood crush. You were going through a rough time with your family but didn’t want to enclose any information to anyone. You expected George to try and pry it out of you but he didn’t. He didn’t even ask any more questions after you failed to tell him what was wrong. He just picked up your hand from across the table where you were eating dinner and smiled at you sweetly, the rest of your friends exchanging knowing smiles. Throughout that week he always made sure you were smiling and not thinking about whatever had got you down, his thought was that if you were ready and wanted to tell him whatever was wrong, you would.

On the Friday of that week as many people enjoyed the start of the weekend, you stayed in your room to read. George had knocked on the door an hour after you had begun delving into your newest book. You asked him what he was doing in the Hufflepuff common room, his response to which was a shrug and “I wanted to see you. Make sure you were okay.” He offered you a plate of stolen food from the kitchens and smiled that heart stopping, famous George Weasley smile.

“How did you get in here?” You had asked whilst placing your book down with no hope of reading it now anyways. 

“Well, it’s not exactly hard. I watched someone else do the barrels and then followed that pattern.” He shrugged before starting to eat the cookies he had brought up.

All the tension built up from the week caused you to break, sobbing into his shoulder later that night. He still didn’t ask but you told him and at the end of your sobs he just wiped your tears away and held you until you fell asleep. That’s when you knew you had fallen pretty badly in love with George Weasley. You had no idea that night how much he wanted to kiss your troubles away.

And even now, you had your suspicions that George liked you in a different way than Fred but you weren’t prepared to wager money on it. Maybe you were just reading into it all because you wanted it to happen. But with the feeling of George’s hand in yours as you sat by the Great Lake with birds chirping in trees and a gentle wind washing over you, as you looked into his honey chocolate eyes, you couldn’t help but feel the cliched spark and you knew from the look in George’s eyes and the hot blush on his cheeks that he felt it too. 

All talk of exams and joke shops were forgotten about. “(Y/n)?” His voice broke your trance away from his eyes and you were suddenly aware of how long you had been staring. Your head turned sharply away as you nodded in acknowledgment of his questioning voice. “Look at me.” You couldn’t help but obey his sweet playful voice, he squeezed your hand lightly as your head slowly turning to face his reddening one. “Do you trust me?” His voice was whispered like it was secret only to be shared with you. 

“Yes of- of course I do.” You felt yourself trip over your whispered words and your mind gave a little internal scream. But George didn’t seem to notice as he inched closer to you, making your breath hitch and become uneasy with anticipation.

“Close your eyes.” His whole face seemed to soften with his voice and smile. You hesitated thinking of past experiences with pranks but this seemed different so after George nodded in a ‘trust-me’ sort of way, you once more obliged. Your eyes shut, a bit of brightness still evading through your eyelids. You barely had to wait a minute before you heard a deep intake of breath and then felt something warm on your lips. You felt your breath being held in your lungs as you realised George was kissing you. You had just managed to register the sweet taste before George was pulling away. Your face fell with dazed disappointment.

“I- I’m sorry.” You opened your eyes to see George had shuffled away a bit from where he was sitting. His hand was running through his hair, making it stick up in different directions. He looked guilty and angry with himself. You instantly reached out to re-link your hand with his.

George looked up with hope in his eyes at your movement. An unsure smile grew on his face as he witnessed your sweet one.

“Please don’t apologise. I- I really,” God what were you supposed to say when the boy you secretly loves kisses you? “I really liked it.” Your face was so unsure of your words that it made George laugh. The sound making you relax. “I’m sorry I’m not good with words and I don’t know what you’re supposed to say or how you’re meant to react when the boy you love kisses you out of the blue..” Your voice trailed off into the distance of time as George’s eyes widened. The wave of what you said washed over you like a flood of cold water. “I mean- I-“ you gave up with words as your mind shut down from shock.

“Hey.” George picked up your other hand from where it was flailing about in mid-air as you tried to find the words. He looked at you with the biggest smile on his face, making you return the shock. “If it helps,” he coughed nervously and looked away before bringing his eyes back to steadily meet yours. “I’m in love with you too.”

Your shoulders lowered, feeling a weight lift off of them and you breathed a sigh of relief, a large smile crossing your face. “Good.”

“Good? I profess my feelings for you and you say ‘good’?” George laughed at your playfully annoyed face, he released a hand from yours and brought it up to place over his heart dramatically. You hit it away with a smirk.

“Shut up.” You shook your head with chuckle of laughter before planting your lips firmly on George’s and kissing him properly. He immediately kissed back with a passion. His hands were suddenly travelling from your shoulders to your waist as he shuffled to a kneeling position. You raised your head to meet his lips, never wanting to part. Your hand went to his hair and pulled him closer to you until there was no space left between your bodies.

You pushed him down onto his back and he laughed into the kiss. His laughter still kept going as you pulled back for air, you joined in with a giggle as he played your own game and rolled you over so he was on top of you. He started to randomly tickle you, making your laughter louder until it turned into gasps as George kissed up and down your neck. It was hard to pull away but you had to, this wasn’t exactly the place for a passionate make-out session especially with students coming out of the great hall for classes.

George seemed to quickly catch on as to why you pulled back and sat up on the grass, straightening his tie and patting his messy hair down.

“Sorry love.” You smiled at the endearing pet name, it suddenly carried so much more meaning than before. You sat up yourself, pecking his lips quickly.

“Maybe we can resume it later?” You hoped you sounded as seductive as you had meant to come off as. You knew you did when George blinked dazedly at you and smirked. You ran a finger up and down his sleeved arm, giggling as he shivered.

“You are such a tease, you know that?” George narrowed his eyes at your shrug and got up, offering you a hand to do the same. He walked you to the library, his hand still laced with yours. “Need any help studying?”

“Um,” you bit your lip as you tried to find the words to say no sweetly but they weren’t needed as George began laughing and you realised he wasn’t at all serious.

“I’m just kidding. I would if you wanted me to but I don’t think I’d be much help.” He laughed in a self-deprecating sort of way and you reached up to peck him before smiling cutely at him.

“No, you go have fun.” You saw Fred wave a little way down the hallway towards you and George. He looked pleased at the sight of your hands still holding each other and smiled proudly. George gave one last squeeze of your hand before leaving to go and join his twin. Fred patted him on the back and winked at you before you entered the library to begin studying for charms.

“You told her?!” Fred sounded annoyed at his brother. George just shrugged and rolled his eyes, still admiring the bottle of potion he held his hands.

“She is my girlfriend, Freddie.” He smiled at where you sat across from him, blushing slightly at his words. Fred just rolled his eyes.

“Yes and that’s like the 50th time you’ve told me.” Fred said in a huff. George blushed but still looked proud of the fact he could call you his girlfriend.

“Hey! I did the potion for your first creation. I wouldn’t have done it to the best of my ability if George hadn’t told me what it was for and plus you can trust me.” You smiled as you rested your hand on George’s who knew he could already. Fred rolled his eyes again before settling with a smile and snatching the vial from George’s hands. He looked intensely at the purplish liquid.

“Fine. Welcome aboard to Fred’s marvellous creations.” He smiled cheerily without an outstretched hand, you rose your eyebrow at the name and saw George look at his brother in irritation.

“We are not naming it that!” George gestured aimlessly as Fred sighed irritably.

“Well what are we going to name it then? Fred Weasley’s jokes for wizards?” Fred seemed to be playing with the name at first but looked hopeful to George as he mulled it over in his head. George shook his head with a resounding ‘no’.

“What about Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes?” You inputed the idea helpfully as the random thought struck in your brain. Fred and George looked at you in surprise and thought over the name. Both of them trying it out on their lips.

The twins’ faces soon turned gleeful at you and you smiled. “I like that! Well done (y/n)! Hey George, your girlfriends smart!” Fred joked as he scribbled the name down after nudging George in the ribs, you sarcastically narrowed your eyes at his shocked tone as George continued smiling at you.

“I know.” George winked at you and your insides melted. He turned your hand over so he could hold it better and squeezed lovingly.

The second you saw the first box of their products not only housing part of your own creation but also your idea for their company name, you almost cried with pride for your boyfriend. George just hugged you tightly and you returned it. The same happened when you passed your exams with flying colours and George kept kissing you when all the compliments and adorations of pride and congratulations ran out.

You were both there to support one another and couldn’t be happier as you helped each other reach your respective dreams. He was one of the best things that ever happened to you. 

[lexinthelibraryofdreams]

Valentine’s Day

Day three of the Leather&Lace Romance Week, hosted by @vorchagirl and @blueteaparty

Day Three: Valentine’s Day.

Words:1680

You stepped into the main building of your school and looked around with a sigh. Along the hall, paper hearts in various shades of pink hung from the ceiling, and red roses had been more or less evenly distributed across the window sills. On one of the screens on the walls, you could watch the hugely enthusiastic and confident hosts of the school news wish everyone a Happy Valentine’s Day. You shook your head, making your way over to your locker. On your way, you had to skip around several couples due to which your annoyance grew even further. It wasn’t that you hated Valentine’s Day, quite the opposite. Up until this year, you hadn’t really cared about it. Then, you had met Peter after transferring here and you soon had grown closer. Still, the thought of actually being able to spend the day with your boyfriend didn’t excite you as much as it probably should. While you were still in an early stage of your relationship – the one full of stolen glances (aka staring at each other without any shame), public affections (i.e. walking along the hall with your hands practically glued together or short but sweet kisses) and the fluttery feeling in your stomach every time you saw each other – it had already been under quite a lot of pressure. You actually feared that if the current situation prevailed, you might split up again – a thought that was dreading and somehow comforting at the same time.

If anyone asked, your relationship was fine but something was bugging you and unfortunately, that was your boyfriend’s presence. Or, to be more precise, the lack thereof. He had missed more than a few dates or was too late, acted strangely and – which was the worst part – lied straight to your face. At first you thought he simply needed some time to tell you about whatever was going on but the time went by and nothing happened. So, against everything you wanted, you had confronted him and issued an ultimatum: he either would tell you what happened until this evening or you were done. The thought of it turned you stomach, you really liked him and were on the best was to honestly fall in love with the guy but the thought of being lied to every day hurt even more. Even worse made by the fact that you had figured out why he kept disappearing and still said nothing even after dropping hints for him.

Despite your inner dispute, you collected your books for the next lesson and walked over to Michelle’s locker, the point you usually met with the others. Peter was already there and his expression changed slightly as he spotted you. You inhaled deeply and sent him a smile, not wanting him – or anyone else for that matter – to see how much the situation affected you. He greeted you with a soft kiss on the cheek, then carefully, almost questioningly, put his arm around your shoulders. You leaned against him slightly, as you always did, and he relaxed more. Neither Michelle nor Ned seemed to notice the slight tension between you or they simply didn’t comment on it. Once the bell signalled you to move over to your classes, the four of you started walking, Peter’s arm still around your shoulders. He escorted you to your classroom and leaned closer, murmuring, “I’m explaining everything to you after school, Y/N, I promise, alright?” You looked up at him and nodded, then pecked him on the cheek and entered the room.

---

The school hours seemed to drag on forever and yet at the same time there wasn’t enough time. Peter didn’t really focus on any class, he only thought about what he would tell you and how you could react. “Hey, what wrong?” Ned violently interrupted his train of thoughts and Peter sighed heavily. “I’m gonna tell Y/N,” he explained and Ned raised his eyebrows in surprise. There wasn’t much explaining needed about what exactly he wanted to tell you. “You sure? What if she doesn’t react well to it?” his best friend asked and his shoulders slumped down. “Believe me, I’m imagining the worst scenarios the entire time. But it’s either this or I’m going to lose her, so I’ll take the risk,” he murmured, fingers tapping on the table and eyes wandering towards the clock. After his second period, his phone vibrated in his pocket and he took a quick glance. The phone showed the message from you and he furrowed his brow.

Y/N: ‘Hey, Pete, just wanted to let you know I’m heading home so you’re not wondering where I am’

He quickly typed an answer and got and equally quick reply.

Peter: ‘You okay?’

Y/N: ‘Yeah, just one hell of a headache, don’t worry.’

After a short pause, another message chimed in.

Y/N: ‘Doesn’t mean I’m not remembering our agreement, though. After school, you promised.’

Peter: ‘I did and I’ll keep it. Get some rest, alright? I’ll text you once I’m out of here. Bye.’

He locked his phone again and hope you wouldn’t take it wrong but he didn’t know how to word it otherwise since you weren’t at the “Love you”- phase yet. And if he messed up today, you’d never reach it. During the next lesson, he took Ned’s and Michelle’s help to plan the evening in the hopes of everything turning out well.

---

Once you had come home, you had taken a pill against the headache and laid down for a nap. After waking up again you had looked at the pictures on your phone. Most were of Peter and you, some included Ned and Michelle or his aunt May. Your heart ached at the thought of losing him and you pleaded to everyone who might hear you that he would tell you the truth. It was growing darker outside when your phone chimed and you looked at it, not able to hide a small smile.

Peter: ‘Hey, Y/N, I’m outside. You coming? Or are still feeling bad?’

Y/N: ‘On my way.’

You quickly got dressed again and slipped on your boots and jacket before leaving the flat and walking downstairs. Peter was waiting in front of the main door and you sent him a smile. “How are you feeling?” he asked after a short greeting. You shrugged slightly. “The pills are working by now so I’m better. Where are we going?” He sent you a small smile and took your hand. “The park. And I’m glad.” You locked your intertwined your fingers and followed him. The walk was spent in silence but you can feel a nervous air around him which caused you to worry. You had wrecked your brain since your argument and hoped that it was simply what you suspected for a while now and not something else. Something that could be far worse.

As you reached the park, you looked around. It was quiet and still beautiful. Peter led you towards the lake and pulled a blanket from his backpack which he put down on the damp grass. You sat down and leaned against the tree next to you, then you watched him as he put down his back and took his place next to you. “Alright, what’s the earthshattering secret?” you asked and he rubbed across his neck nervously before starting to fiddle with his sleeves. With an inaudible sigh, you leaned forward and took his hands in yours, causing him to stop the movement and to look at you. You searched in his eyes and said, “Peter, talk to me. Whatever it is, I’m sure you’re wrecking your brain without any reason. C’mon, it can’t be that bad.” He looked at you and the anxiety in his eyes softened somewhat. “Well, I know I did a lot of things wrong. I let you down more than once and I lied to you but – as stereotypical as it sounds – I just want to protect you. I don’t want you to get dragged into my mess.” He hadn’t said it directly but you understood the meaning behind it. Your face softened and you put a hand on his cheek. “Well but you also need someone to look out for you. To patch you up when you’re done hunting the bad guys or to give you an alibi,” you responded and he stared at you. You laughed quietly and shook your head. “I can put one and one together, Peter. I already know. Or, well, I suspected it. I just wanted you to talk to me. All these lies, even while knowing why you did it, it hurt. And I think we can do better than this.”

His eyes went wider the more you said, then he swallowed sharply. “Really?” You nodded, then pulled him into a kiss. You melted against each other and his arms snaked around you. Even after you broke the kiss, you stayed where you were, eyes closed and forehead leaned against his. “Just promise me to always tell me the truth. If I know what’s up, I can help or at least try to, alright?” He hummed, agreeing, and you pecked his lips again. “Now, I do hope there’s more to this evening than just your confession,” you said and he laughed. “There is, actually.” He turned around and pulled something out of his backpack. You smiled as you saw the chocolate in his hands. “My favourite. How thoughtful of you, Mr Parker,” you commented and he grinned slightly, pulling you close to him. You opened the box and took a piece. As you put it in your mouse, something whirred across the sky and with a crack a firework appeared on the dark sky. Your eyes widened shortly in surprise, then you nestled yourself against your boyfriends side while he started playing with your hair. “Do I get a rating?” he asked jokingly as you watched the colourful lights dance across the sky, one after the other and you smiled, pulling him into another kiss.

Maybe, Valentine’s Day wasn’t that bad.

[rockysavannah]

Suggesting an Original Character

Description:

Anyone else got anymore suggestions? I’m all ears.

Hello, I’ve written a concept for an original character that involves belching on my Writing.com interactive: Belching Girls: Multi-Media (Vore & WG). If you want to add more O.C.s or other chapters over there, then please do so, because any help would be appreciated.

Belching Girls: Multi-Media (Vore & WG)

Backstory: As the daughter of industrial moguls Duncan Connor and María Bacch (Named after the Bacchus, the Roman god of Wine), 17-year-old Becky Bacch was born to inherit their Multi-Billion-Dollar Soda-and-Beer company called Popsi-Cola Inc. Through an amalgamation of sharp business savvy and inept competition, the likes of Budweiser and Pepsi were crushed and absorbed into the ever-expanding global empire. Many countries, including the United States of America lowered their drinking age to 16, a change likely brought upon by the sheer influence of the corporation, or secret bribes and an addictive product, according to whatever barely-surviving opposition would say. However, even with all of the wealth in the world, Becky still felt unfulfilled. Maybe it was out of disappointment that she was given everything through the success of her parents and not herself. Or it was having little social contact, again due to her folks, leaving her to spend her free time by reading books, helping develop new kinds of successful beverages, or engaging in more juvenile activities like belching. Regardless, the girl was struggling to find a purpose to her existence outside of being an heiress, until she got a crazy idea.

One night, she loaded an old backpack with several cans of experimental drinks and sneaked out of the mansion to mark the debut of the Earth’s newest hero: Soda Jerk! Flying across the streets in a full body black jumpsuit and mask with gray boots and gloves, it didn’t take long for Becky to find her first crime to thwart in the form of a classic bank robbery. The crooks were loading their score into a getaway van when a deafening sonic blast that sounded suspiciously like a belch erupted from the nearby alley, knocking the van over and shattering every panel of glass around the block. Though disoriented, the criminals retaliated by firing off several rounds from their handguns into the alley. However, there were no sounds of bullets drilling through flesh and bone, nor the thud of a corpse that had collapsed onto the cold hard ground. The villainous trio gave each other a confused look, but before they could tell what happened, a black blur rushed past them and one of them fell to the pavement unconscious. The remaining two tightened the grip on their guns when they saw it, but another blur dashed at them, too fast for the human eye to see, and before they knew it, another man was down. Now the final gang member was scared, wonder what exactly they were dealing with here. His question was answered by a light hop to the left side of the neck, leaving him to drop face-first on to the concrete.

Satisfied with her work, Soda Jerk returned the money and restrained the thugs until the police arrived before returning home. Contrary to her expectations, she was not alone when she made it back, seeing her mom and dad waiting in her room and wanting an explanation. After a rundown of the nights events and Becky’s reasons for her actions, Duncan and María were filled with remorse over what they’e done and eventually agreed to allow Becky to continue her escapades, provided she wear more protection, balances this duty with the rest of her life, and explain how she created her unique brands of soda.

Personality: Though she appears to be the stereotypical bookworm, in actuality, she’s… well, that much about her is true, but it’s far from the only defining trait about her. In addition to reading up on latest technological breakthroughs (and even having contributed to some of them), she’s also a straight-A+ student and is disarmingly prideful about her intellect. Bravery is also a apt adjective to describe her, as she is willing to lay down her life for another at a moment, whatever obstacle that might prevent her from doing so be damned. However, her impulsive and stubborn nature is also a weakness that she has yet to overcome, as both have lead to her blindly charging at the enemy and not stooping until they fall, which has often resulted in several close calls, much to the fear of her parents. Above all though, it is her infinite capacity for good that is her most treasured trait for that was largely what drove her into a life of heroics, but even someone as nice as her can be pushed to far, just ask those tried to manipulate her. Her habits are eating, drinking, and burping frequently-a consequence for anyone with a diet of soda and alcohol-among other things.

Appearance: Becky towers over most girls her age with a height of 6’0” and a weight of 214 pounds, though much of that is muscle grown from her rigorous physical training. Her red hair is styled as a bob cut, her irises are a lush clover shade, and her skin color perfectly matches her mother’s light tan. Spots of freckles dot her cheeks, further showing her father dominating genetic influence.

Miscellaneous Information:

Morality: Chaotic Good (Willing to break the rules to do the right thing).

Nationality: Born and Raised in the United States of America.

Powers and Abilities: Skilled in hand-to-hand combat and surprisingly athletic, but cannot utilize any superpowers on her own.

Weapons, Gadgets, and Technology: Drinks various sodas which give her different powers. 1 Flying Fizz: Fills her belly with gas akin to helium, allowing her to fly for as long as the gas remains in her body, though it can be burped out. 2 Rushing Raspberry: Raises her blood sugar to levels that would kill any other human being, but somehow Becky’s body reacts differently, as it increases her reflexes and movement speed to hypersonic levels, though she rarely goes this fast in populated areas. It also boosts her metabolism, which ironically makes it so that the affects of this soda last the shortest. 3 Belching Blueberry: Just one sip sends enough supercarbonated gas into the stomach that letting it out as a burp would destroy a two-story building, but if forced into a situation where no other options present themselves, Becky can chug the whole thing in less that a minute and cut belches that would individually destroy an entire city.

Reply if you like the character, or at least the idea of the character. You may use this character in a story of your own if you want, just give me credit. Please leave any suggestions for how this character could be improved and any ideas for more original characters.

HicBurpLover22: First of all, I would just like to mention that I’ve seen your work way back in the past with Libby as burp girl and I really liked those fics, and that I am willing to help you out with any ideas that this fic may have to offer. I don’t need credit and I’ve helped other writers before although I don’t write myself (Though I might plan to if I have a lot of spare time soon) So anyways, I would like to know what could be your overall plot. Sure you essentially just explained Becky’s origin story but what would the focus be. Is it primarily going to be good vs. evil or will you have something else like romance or drama involved? For other characters, I was thinking that for maybe for a romantic partner or as a partner in general, have Becky find out about a male hacker who has hacked into Popsi Cola inc. and has all of this information about the experimental sodas that Becky has made and even the identity of Soda Jerk. The hacker (let’s call him Jack for now) threatens the company that he will leak all of this information on the internet unless he talks to Soda Jerk herself. Becky having no choice decides to meet Jack at his base (which could be hidden in a shady part of town or something). Jack reveals himself to not be a villain, he wasn’t going to leak anything in the first place, but he needed to make an alliance with Soda Jerk to stop an incoming terrorist attack. Becky complies with Jack and also confirms her identity with him, and now we have a duo. Jack doesn’t have a burping fetish but he begins to get it by being around Becky as they soon fall in love with each other or become good friends. Jack doesn’t necessarily fights in direct combat but he can hack stuff easily and he has a nice assortment of gadgets that he can use in self-defense and maybe he gives some for Soda Jerk. It’s up to you if you want to go with this, this is just my idea after all, not yours. I also have no idea what the terrorist group ambitions would be, and I don’t have an idea for what another female character could be if you wanted one. We can work on Jack’s (if that’s what we want to call him) personality later if you want to use him. Also, for my final note, I really like hiccups and since beer often causes hiccups… it would be pretty sweet if somebody gets the hiccups at somepoint.

UPDATE: HicBurpLover22, your ideas sound fantastic. I’ll admit that I hate romance and am not very good at writing it. The focus of the overall plot would be a general good vs. evil conflict with some doses of drama. I might place in some comedy, and some of it will involve her burping, but I’ll try to use different types of humor so it won’t get stale. As for a partner, I like your idea of a male hacker named Jack who starts off as a friend of Becky’s but may slowly foster some hidden romantic interest in her, or at least a sexual one revolving around her beautiful belching abilities. He would have little to no combat experience/training/skills and powers, though he would have a secret lair beneath a virtually abandoned district of the town (which I have decided to call Bloodstone City, California). Soda Jerk explains the situation about the 16 year old Jack to her parents and they eventually agree to not press charges against him and even hire him for his technological prowess, but warn him to not cross their company and especially their daughter. Now Jack can work as a ‘Lucius Fox-type’ figure who helps outfit Soda Jerk with various gadgets and weapons to help take down the terrorist organization, whose name could be the Chaos Corps, a group of anarchists who desire to break down the oppressive governments of the world so that the common man can shape their own destinies without any legal or ethical boundaries, and they’re mainly stationed in Bloodstone. Jack’s parents, a pair of ex-spies named Elise and Victor Jace, were abducted by the villainous syndicate for their classified information that could jeopardize national security. The Corps uses various methods of physical, mental, and emotional torture to get their captives to cooperate with them. Understandably, Jack wants to free them, so a team up with the city’s big hero was necessary. On a final note, yes Becky will get the hiccups at some point in the story.

Additionally, I was thinking of there being other heroes in the world, many of them female. Like Angie Cinder A.K.A. Hothead, an 18 year old middle-class Japanese-immigrant, bestowed with pyrokinetic abilities having an equally-hot passion for preserving the law in her current home of Sydney, Australia. She’s a “Lawful Good” kind of crusader, more often than not working alongside the local law enforcement to thwart crime. Cinder was given an Americanized name to better fit in with the populace, her original name being Aguni Shindera (named after the Vedic god of fire who gave her powers and the Japanese word for ‘cinder’) and had been working as a super hero with a public identity a full 4 years before Soda Jerk. She possesses an average intelligence and though she doesn’t know martial arts, Angie does have some degree of fighting skills due to her training at the police academy. She’s aware of Soda Jerk and while Hothead thinks she could learn to work within the confines of the law more effectively, overall she’s tolerant of the powerless powerhouse. However, Cinder is interested in her burping skills, as despite her feminine personality, she finds a guilty pleasure in releasing putrid gas, especially when mixed with her fire powers and after a private binge of spicy food. It’s almost a shame that Soda Jerk is heterosexual, as opposed to Angie’s homosexuality.

There’s also Wendy Ares A.K.A. Airhead, a 15 year old Egyptian-South African girl living as a fighting instructor in Berlin, Germany. Her name is a pun on the words ‘Windy Airs’. She is descended from an ancient tribe of Areokinetic warriors sworn to defend the innocent and punish the vile and uses her inhuman abilities to blow away her enemies. She decided to play hero one day, when a group of thugs tried to mug one of her students, only to have their breath nearly taken away for good. No one could trace the incident back to her, which suited her just fine, as she doesn’t like the spotlight. She takes a ‘Neutral Good’ approach to her actions, taking caution not to cause needless destruction and not being obsessed with every small detail working perfectly. Wendy is a master of every fighting style in the history of the world and uses it in conjunction with her air powers to stomp out criminal scum. She values stealth greatly, to the point where her alter ego’s existence is widely considered a myth by the planet and the other heroes. Airhead doesn’t know what to make of Soda Jerk or Hothead, thinking that they each have a poor balance between order and chaos in opposite directions, but ultimately respecting their intentions. In terms of burping, she’s largely indifferent to it, not being tomboyish enough to enjoy it or girly enough to hate it, though her wind powers can easily turn her eructations into hundred mile per hour gales that can flatten cities if she so chose. Also, she prefers both males and females.

Lastly, there is Gladys Gordon Garcias A.K.A. Glutton Girl, a 19 year old Brazilian-Mexican woman kidnapped and experimented on by a small faction of the Chaos Corps in Argentina. The terrorists were fiddling with chemical meant to affect a person’s physicality, hoping to create a breed of super-soldiers, and altered Gladys’s body. As a result, she acquired the ability to unhinge her jaw, consume objects larger than herself, enhanced senses of taste, hearing, and smell, complete control over her digestive process and an superhuman appetite. The Corps tested the new powers by force feeding Garcias her own family. Her 10 year old sister Maria and her mother Lucia were shoved down Gladys’s throat and in a panic, were accidentally digested. Gladys was reduced to a sobbing wreck, having lost the most important people in the world to her. But that sorrow was replaced by anger, as the super strength given to her by the tests allowed her to break out of containment and feast on the startled terrorists. A think, monstrous belch shattered the windows of the base and echoed into the jungle for several kilometers, signifying the end of the meal. Now alone, Gladys escaped into the night, eventually turning up as a street rat struggling to survive. She decided to exact revenge on the people who hurt her so much by going on a crusade to snack on every last member, as well as any thug who gets in her way. Her moral alignment sits at the ‘Neutral’ area, wanting to crush evil, but not all that motivated to help people whom she doesn’t know. Gladys is an anonymous eating machine, virtually nonexistent to the other heroes, whom Gladys finds are not doing enough regarding the Chaos Corps and are too focused dealing with lesser crimes. She can get very gassy after a meal of a few dozen low lives littering the streets, sporting a face of disgust as her epic eructations roar across the sky. Also, the woman is asexual.

This is what I’ve got so far. If you have any suggestions, then let me know.

HicBurpLover22: Thanks for all the feedback dude, glad to be of help in some way.

You nailed how I envisioned Jack to be, and don’t worry if romantic writing isn’t quite your thing, just do what feels right for you. A lot of the humor can be from banter between Jack and Becky. Jack can also be a bit of a gamer, so we can have game references. I can imagine Jack being distracted by playing videogames in the middle of a mission and Becky being a bit annoyed by that. If you are going to go with the gamer idea, then we can have it so that Becky bonds with Jack by starting to get into the habit of playing videogames with him (she hardly plays them) and Jack bonding with Becky by understanding why she decided to become a hero and seeing her have fun with her burps. Also, Becky could get the hiccups by downing a soda too quickly in the middle of a stealth mission revealing her position to everyone forcing her to fight her way out, or Becky has a soda that gives her a random elemental effect every time she hiccups.

Bloodstone City sounds like a very cool place to live not gonna lie, and you could probably make other major cities in this world be named after other gemstones or minerals, for example Diamond City, Topaz City, Ruby City etc. and the Chaos Corps sounds like one serious threat. I have one other idea for them but let me quickly go over your characters.

I really like the idea of there being more heroes, but not directly associated with Soda Jerk. It kinda reminds me of Street Fighter or even Overwatch by having all of these characters from different parts of the world each with different goals and ambitions. They each have their own path but overall just want to get rid of evil.

Hothead can kinda be the Tsundere archetype of the girls, she may be hot but can give people the cold shoulder she meets at first. She can be highly competitive and always wants to keep her pride up. Spicy food is also known to cause hiccups, but I think I’m pushing it too far with the hiccups at this point heh.

For Airhead, maybe she wants to befriend some guy but is too shy to even talk to him or even be near him. She also doesn’t want him to be in dander and involved in her dangerous missions because he doesn’t have any powers. She also wonders what this guy would even think of her.

The start to Glutton Girl’s story could be her binging in WcDonalds (the equivalent of McDonalds in this world) while she thinks on what to do next, meanwhile people are just staring at her in awe as she eats a lunch for 10 or some other ludicrous number as she emits a belch that threatens to destroy the restaurant.

These are just random ideas that I’ve come up with really quick, but here is what I got for a potential villain.

Dr. Wilhelm is the boss of Chaos Corp, he is an evil scientist with a very monotone voice. He never reveals his past to anyone but he was once a prestigious scientist by the name of Dr. Maxis bringing the future of tomorrow years early, but his experiments soon grew to be too dark so the government shut him down. Now his motives are world domination, destruction and revenge. He is so cold-hearted that he even weaponize her own daughter. I’m gonna let you name her since you do WAY better with names than I do. She is now a ruthless killing machine, her memories are being held by her father and she is constantly being powered up by a special soda that Wilhelm has made himself, giving her the abilities of super strength, the ability to shape shift her hands and feet into weapons, and of course destructive burping. The soda is being injected through her by little pipes coming in and out of her mouth, I don’t know how there is an endless amount but… science. She always has a very quiet case of the hiccups, the ones that only jerk her body slightly, but if you happened to hear a single “hic”, it’s over, expect yourself to be killed by her, no problemo. Essentially, she is a zombie but the real her can still be in there, fighting for freedom.

Let me know what you think.

UPDATE 2: Again, you’ve come up with some great ideas. I imagined both Becky and Jack to be very witty since they are both teenagers, so the would have a good back and forth & Jack will be a gamer, while Becky is a noob who tries getting into it. Meanwhile, Jack becomes more attracted to Becky’s belching. It would be funny to see Becky get caught by hiccuping and the new elemental hiccup soda (which I’ll call Hiccuping Honey) sounds great. Becky has been Soda Jerk for six months.

I may create more cities named after minerals if I feel like it. The Chaos Corps plays a role similar to HYDRA from Marvel, but on a smaller scale. The story takes place in 2017, but the Chaos has been around for about 25 years.

The assorted heroes of the world are current scattered, but they may crossover at some point, probably in response to an attack by the Chaos Corps, similar to the Avengers.

Hothead does get hiccups from Spicy food, as well as burps, and is prideful and competitive. Though she’s respected by the police, she doen’t have many friends, focusing more on her work and being paid for it.

Though Airhead is very devoted to her clan, she also wants to experience things that a typical girl would. However, she keeps her desire to men, as people still have trouble accepting the LGBT community and her special upbringing robbed her of social skills, so Wendy acts very awkwardly around her crush, James Jaxson. Aires has been in action for two years now.

Glutton Girl spends much of her time gorging at various restaurants and hotels, being able to afford such luxuries by hoarding the money from her criminal victims. The owners of the establishments have gotten use to her presence and are afraid that she might eat them out of business. She has been on the hunt for the Chaos Corps for one year.

Chaos Corps leader, Dr. Carl Wilhelm will be the main antagonist to these heroes. He is 50 years old and his daughter, Marsha is considered by him to be the ‘Ultimate Life Form’, due to her powers. She is twenty years old and got her abilities three years ago and has been an operative for the Chaos Corps for just as long. Countless innocents were butchered by the living weapon, some for strategic purposes , but mostly out of pure sadism. Marsha herself is an emotionless girl, pretty much the ‘Winter Soldier’ of the group. She is bulletroof, has perfect mastery over every form of combat and weaponry on Earth, can weaponize any object, and has above human physicality. The Doctor from New Zealand created the power-inducing soda in a similar way to how Becky created her’s. Marsha Wilhelm is codenamed, Chaos Queen, and is a 'Neutral’ character being forced into a 'Chaotic Evil’ role, though hopefully, the remains of her former self buried deep within her can find a way to break free…

Also, JWAPPEL suggested on Deviantart another character 13 hours ago:

Catherine “Conquer” Jones. She’s tiny at 5'4 and the girliest of the girly girls fro constantly dressing in pink and glitter to being obsessed with shoes. Challenge her to anything however and watch her pwn you, especially burping contests.

HicBurpLover22: Awesome, all of this seems really great. I honestly don’t know any other ideas for this at this point, but I will probably message you if anything comes to mind. Also my apologies, I thought you wrote fanfics for Libby as burp girl from that one episode way, way, WAY back in the past, but then I remember that you were the one who uploaded the clip on YouTube, I must have been thinking of someone else or something… But I still like your other work, don’t get me wrong.

Also, when I look through your DeviantArt favorites I can’t help but notice that you are into farts as well. I only just recently got into farts and I wouldn’t be opposed if there was a farting scene as well in this series. Becky’s farts are completely normal and not super powered, so I can imagine a funny scene where she prepares for a large burp to strike an enemy but the burp comes out the other end as a normal fart.

Hothead might have spicy fiery farts that can propel her like a rocket. Airhead doesn’t fart as it may be too dangerous because of her powers. Glutton Girl can have the most foul farts and burps that she can channel, especially after a Brazilian-Mexican feast with beans.

UPDATE 3: Interesting. The girls farting could be funny, so I may include it.

HicBurpLover22: Any other updates on Soda Jerk?

UPDATE 4: Not yet, but there might be more non-superhero-themed characters appearing in the story.

HicBurpLover22: Ah, so like a anti-hero or a bounty hunter?

UPDATE 5: It would be a bounty hunter, named Juliet Winters, a British gun for hire who makes a living bringing in/killing criminals to collect the price on their heads. She is indifferent to the other heroes, but is interested in the Chaos Corps, if only because of how much money she could get by taking them down.

HicBurpLover22: Sounds pretty good. Maybe she has some royal blood but isn’t interested at all at doing her family traditions. She is very polite to her payers, and she never let’s them down. She also pays some respect to the person she needs to kill for the bounty, saying something like “sorry for killing you but business is business.” Her attire could be like a fancy coat that can shoot ice shards, but she is never without her trusty sniper rifle.

UPDATE 6: Sounds cool. Any other ideas?

HicBurpLover22: I’m not quite sure… maybe she doesn’t like burping but she’s naturally pretty gassy. She apologizes a lot whenever she does burp in front of someone, and tries her best to keep her belches in or at least let them out quietly as closed mouth-burps.

UPDATE 7: Nice. I’ll see if JWAPPEL has something more to offer.

Hey, so HicBurpLover22 and I were discussing new original characters and I wanted to see if you had something more to offer.

JWAPPEL: I’ll see what I can come up with and Yes. Catherine’s body actually adapts to challenges, meaning her belly expands for competive eating, she undergoes muscle growth for strength contests, etc. It’s this way because her family is quite rich and scientists hired by her parents were paid to experiment with her and make it this way. What do you think?

UPDATE 8: Sounds good.

So, anyone else out there who is interested in this stuff please let me know if you have any ideas for characters and/or settings.

[tinkiisms]

TIME TO DROP SOME OPINIONS....about the popular fairy fanbase ships.

yes i am. be prepared.

okay im not genuinely meaning to ship-bash, these are just full honest opinions 

fawn/nyx

far from the worst, it’s actually quite a nice ship to build off of the antagonistic-beginning-turned-to-love trope. but there is a very real criticism to be made of “legend of the neverbeast” in that they changed fawn’s personality drastically from all the previous films/books/games/canon. from her abandoned tomboyishness to her ill-advised curiosity and willingness to break rules. her attitudes are much more akin to tinker bell in the earlier films.

remember when fawn hesitated to help tink try out new talents, or to understand tink’s curiosity about the winter woods, or humans...yeah, imo “neverbeast” would have made more sense for their characters if tink had been the one to approach a dangerous animal out of curiosity and gone to fawn for help, idk what they were thinking. “let’s give fawn a rounder face, a spiky dress and tinker bell’s personality, no one will notice!” (except tink herself. she invented that look.)

while fawn/nyx could definitely be it’s own thing and a unique dynamic, i think if you’re shipping fawn/nyx based on fawn’s personality in the last film you’re practically shipping tink/nyx at heart. which i do. fawn is already in love with rosetta, too, read the book.

tink/vidia

unlike fawn and nyx’s antagonism which was born of a specific situation/set of circumstances, tink and vidia’s began by vidia simply being extremely, unnecessarily rude and cruel to tink simply for being annoyed by her. i do enjoy this ship based on...headcanons, idk. but the way they interact really does not lend itself to a healthy basis for a relationship. i know everyone adores vidia’s change of heart after the events of “great fairy rescue,” and i too appreciate the sour/sweet dynamic, but it still doesn’t convince me that they’d be compatible on a real level besides the easy banter of friends.

what happens when they get into a fight again over one of their major differences and have the stakes of a relationship involved? meanwhile in the book series, we see that they absolutely still cannot stand one another, and maybe it’s just ‘cause i’m a book purist but i enjoy that dynamic more? i find it more interesting. tink/silvermist and vidia/prilla are much better, healthier starting places for a loving ship.

zarina/james

i don’t think i should need to explain why it’s messed up. he emotionally manipulated her for an entire year and then literally tried to murder her. but i don’t see people exploring this intrinsic and toxic part of their relationship, i see them glossing over it and romanticizing them, pretending james actually had feelings for her so they can ship it, while the only canon we got says otherwise...

tink/zarina is so much healthier, tink literally traded everything for zarina and supported her and wanted her to come home the whole time, z admired her from the beginning, there is so much room for both fluff and angst in their plot and it’s just wonderful.

tink/bobble

the fanbase makes the ship ugly. it didn’t have to be like this. it could be a cute tinker/tinker ship and i enjoy the possible shenanigans. but i’ve seen so many fans that seem to ship this specifically to spite the fact that tink and terence were implied by the narrative, and they hate terence for no good reason. i can’t count how many people say he has no personality, boring is “just a pretty boy” etc like??? that’s their prerogative to think so, but they then ship her with bobble who perfectly fits their “cute nerdy” stereotype, but do they ever ship her with clank? hmm? (spoiler alert: no. he’s not the right kind of nerdy attractive for them.)

they also ignore that bobble and clank literally live together and are...imho probably gay-coded with the way they’re always together, hugging, even acting like an old married couple. but that’s speculation. so i don’t Hate tink/bobble but i have my Feelings.

clarion/milori

this ship isn’t really a problem, but i just personally find it really boring. it came out of nowhere--there was no such thing as a lord of winter before “secret of the wings“ because there was a minister of winter who took care of that season’s duties. replacing the female minister with a male to push the contrived love story seems a little unnecessary but obviously disney does what it does.

i think queen ree was a fine character NOT to have a romance, having so much more to occupy her time and interests, and lord milori is an interesting character enough on his own bc of his broken wing subplot. the “forbidden love” aspect to mirror tink and peri’s would have interested me more if clarion had her own sibling, not a romance. “we were born of the same laugh.”

but again, it’s not a bad ship, it’s just not my personal preference. i’d have liked clarion with fairy mary or one of her actual ministers if they were going to do a romance, so it was hinted/built over more time.

rosetta/sled

again not bad, and i love that they both have that southern charm and like each other which i find adorable, but i have preferences over this. sled is a gentle but fun-loving animal talent--he takes rosetta on an owl ride in one comic which she doesn’t enjoy. reminds me of the frog-riding fawn did with rosetta once, only sled didn’t seem to notice ro’s being upset while fawn was very concerned in her case. imo sled/ro just feels unnecessarily heterosexual* when basically the same (if not better) dynamic could be achieved with rosetta and fawn.

ro and fawn also have clashing personalities in what they’re interested in, but it’s not like tink/vidia where they have deep ideological differences, they’re both loyal and loving and already best friends. that said, i do enjoy rosetta/sled, it’s just not the best option for me.

*unnecessarily heterosexual could describe rosetta’s character lol she’s had the most romances of all the characters, all boys, and yet i’m like “rosetta likes girls??? yes???” that’s just my fault for trying to force every character i like to be gay.

tink/terence

there are definitely aspects of their relationship i can see being reasons people wouldn’t ship them. the fact that terence is overbearingly “helpful” toward tink when she’s working, the fact that tink doesn’t communicate that she’s annoyed to him before exploding, the fact that they both held a grudge over the fight for a while at least. but that’s also something i find interesting that makes their relationship realistically imperfect--they’re never intentionally cruel to one another but they have some communication issues and pride to deal with, which they both work through by the end of “lost treasure” and come out the other with a stronger friendship/bond. in the end, they both make mistakes but they’re best friends and love each other.

in the books he’s hopelessly in love with her and she intentionally suppresses her own feelings for a long time which is also a little messy, but it’s never presented as terence being “friendzoned” and feeling like he deserves tink’s love even if he wants it, he is happy to be her actual friend, and i think that itself is a healthy portrayal of an unrequited-best-friend-crush that people ignore for some reason.

i think silvermist and tink have an equal amount of chemistry and best-friendship but the world is too oblivious to see it. one day you will all know.

[cofferi]

another complilation of all my yoi thoughts bc why not

I love yoi but I find it so hard to read analysis and discourse on it bc everyone keeps telling me hey it has flaws you know despite its popularity. As if I didn't know already or something. Listen I KNOW it has very successful highs but is also SO VERY mixed and jarring in tone and story due to its messy production resulting in rushed plot and inability to know what exactly it wants to be. You can see different influences pulling it every which way at different points in the show. For eg between 10 and 11 it is absolutely blatant.

Director Sayo Yamamoto is talented but clearly tried to jam everything she wanted to happen within a 12-ep show. She could’ve put Yuri and Victor’s relationship front and centre for the entire duration, but that would mean cutting out choreographed skating sequences that she spent time and effort hiring professional choreographers to make you feel like you were immersed in real skating and side character development has you invested in the yoi world. She had to make a difficult and ultimately damning choice between what she wanted to accomplish and the limited budget and resources she had at her disposal. So she made a business choice, she chose fast pace and high impact which is why the show goes through like four different competitions and what like 20+ choreographed skating sequences? It was to get the attention and audience needed to guarantee more time to tell her story, because she didn’t have the luxury of a high profile company or a prior audience from a manga or light novel to guarantee sales and tell a slow burn explicitly detailed build up of emotion. And I don’t see this as an excuse at all. It’s yoi’s downfall.

I can only think of other successful sports-kind-of/romance-kind-of shows to contrast it like Chihayafuru that had brilliant pacing and amazing character development as well as immersed you in the competitions. The romance is sidelined like hell and you don’t quite feel the full effects of it like you do yoi, but it had a whole 2 seasons each with 24 episodes to tell it and yoi just didn’t have that amount of time.

Yoi’s genres don’t include yaoi or BL but it pretended to be at least BL, don’t even try to deny that with me. Those moments where they touch other, faces close, it screams typical queerbait. They had it right from the trailers back in Aug. The only difference is it DID follow through on it, and I’m so glad it did. But the attention on those moments was meant to draw in as big an audience as possible, it profited off it. And it worked.

So it does the kiss, it does the engagement. They are gay for each other. This isn’t in dispute. But I agree that it continues to be deliberately ambiguous as to their ACTUAL explicit feelings for each other. They don’t ever say ‘I love you’ or ‘Marry me?’ ‘Yes’ bc they need to keep you waiting for it! They literally do the “are-they-aren’t-they?” thing. Except we’re not waiting to see if they are actually gay for each other anymore, we’re waiting for more than that. We’re waiting for explicit declarations of love and explicit marriage proposals. What better way to get you to watch s2? This is how the business of anime works.

And it’s frustrating! Bc as much as I see them making leaps and bounds towards breaking through queerbaiting and stereotypes, they STILL revert back to the oldest tricks in the book. It feels like they literally only meet US halfway. They’re willing to show engagement rings and suggest marriage but they aren’t willing to TELL us it. That promised talk in 12 didn’t fucking happen. In an environment where we’ve been constantly told over and over again to pick up on ambiguity and draw our own conclusions, yoi had at first said no they’re not going to be like every other suggestively gay show and do that. And then it goes right back to doing it at the end. I understand the business on why they did that, along with making nonsensical plot decisions about Victor being coach and a competitor, I guess so we can wonder how the hell that’s supposed to happen, but it doesn’t make me feel any less unsatisfied and disappointed at what could have been. It changed its mind part way through, not so elegantly, from being a 12 episode all-encompasing show to one that now has infinite array of possibilites to go from here and a dedicated fanbase to back it up.

It’s not a case of censorship. It really isn’t. I was skeptical of this initially too bc so many series show this type of hesitance to “showing too much”, but honestly there are so many examples of shows breaking these so-called laws that I realized it really is more of a societal norm not to piss off too many people, or even that creators don’t want to inject themselves into that kind of discussion.

Those interviews with “transcendental love” and talk of “soulmates” annoys me. While I love the idea that Yuri and Victor can just be themselves and love each other and need no explanation, the series doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It exists within the context of other media we’ve been exposed to. And calling them these vague terms said arbitrarily outside of the show, that really mean nothing within the context of the actual show, starts to seem like just a way to skirt around the dialogue of them being gay.

And I get it. I hate seeing those youtube videos titled “Yuri on Ice Review” that look like they’re narrated by some otaku looking guy about to rip into how this show is fujoshi shit. I hate seeing comments saying this show is only popular bc it has hot guys in it and that it stole the Crunchyroll anime awards from (insert show). I don’t fucking care about the awards. It’s a popularity contest. But I also despise seeing these kinds of comments even if I know not all guys say things like this. I understand the unwillingness to face this kind of criticism and backlash. But it’s going to face it no matter what at this point, it’s already established itself to be THAT kind of show. So maybe, just embrace it like ep 7 and 10 tried to step in the right direction to do?

In essence, the show from here can go either one of two ways. It can turn into Sayo’s actual vision as to what she wanted to do with the story and the characters, with more than enough time and resources now to accomplish it. Or it’ll turn mainstream, appealing shallowly to its now massive audience without fully committing itself, baiting us AGAIN with sort-of confessions and proposals trying to secure a third season and a fourth or a movie or whatever. This is what happened to bakemonogatari where its first season was super interesting and thought-provoking despite literally having empty scenes where they couldn’t finish the animation in time, yet going on to be all-time best selling and a huge hit. And while I would argue that it was also a similar type of passion project as what yoi is to Sayo despite initial production issues, bakemonogatari’s successive seasons deteriorated into little more than a self-indulgent wank fest for a dude that just loves sexy girls for an audience that loves the same bc the author ran out of interesting ideas or something.

I don’t want to see yoi turn into that. It has the chance to better itself for its (I guess not even confirmed) second season, but it can’t retcon the mess of its first season.

[krissysbookshelf]

Enjoy An Exclusive Sneek Peek Of: The Authentics by Abdi Nazemian!

  Daria Esfandyar is Iranian-American and proud of her heritage, unlike some of the “Nose Jobs” in the clique led by her former best friend, Heidi Javadi. Daria and her friends call themselves the Authentics, because they pride themselves on always keeping it real. But in the course of researching a school project, Daria learns something shocking about her past, which launches her on a journey of self-discovery. It seems everyone is keeping secrets. And it’s getting harder to know who she even is any longer. With infighting among the Authentics, her mother planning an over-the-top sweet sixteen party, and a romance that should be totally off limits, Daria doesn’t have time for this identity crisis.  

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  Chapter One

  WHEN YOU LOOK UP AT the sky in Los Angeles, all you see is a strange film of smog, like the whole city is filtered through the lens of your dirtiest sunglasses. You can’t see any stars. And if you’re really unlucky, there’s a blimp up there writing the words “Happy Birthday, Heidi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” in the sky in pink. Yes, with sixteen exclamation points, one for every year of my former best friend Heidi Javadi’s life.

I was at the rented mansion hosting Heidi’s sweet sixteen party, wishing I was anywhere else. Seriously, I would rather have been dissecting a bat or listening to my mother lecture me about how there’s nothing shameful about Spanx.

Caroline led Joy, Kurt, and me inside. I turned my gaze down from the sky toward the mansion the Javadis rented for Heidi’s party. Beautiful cocktail waitresses in pink dresses stood at the entrance of the event, holding pink champagne for the grown-ups and pink “Heidi-tinis” for us, welcoming us to this very opulent version of hell.

“You guys know this is exactly what Iran was like before the revolution, right?” I asked.

“Obviously,” Kurt said. “Everyone knows all of Iran was painted pink until those mullahs stepped in.”

“And Heidi’s name was permanently emblazoned over the skyline of Tehran,” I added.

Caroline laughed, slapping me on the shoulder a little too hard. Caroline did everything in her life with a little too much passion. She was the most outspoken member of our group of friends. If someone was leading the way, it was usually Caroline.

Kurt, Joy, and Caroline had been their own little posse since junior high. I joined the crew when high school began, so I was still the newbie. But I was the one who had dubbed us the Authentics, because my new friends were the first people I’d met more concerned with being who they were than with who others wanted them to be. We weren’t the coolest kids in school, or the most popular, but we were the realest. At least that’s what we thought.

“Wow,” Caroline said, looking at the pinkstravaganza around us. “Is this the most Persian party in the history of parties?”

“It may be super-Persian,” I said, “but it has nothing to do with being Iranian.”

“Semantics,” Caroline said. Being my friend, she knew that Persian and Iranian were terms the same exact community of people used to describe themselves. Persians felt pride in their ancient empire and shame about the current regime of their homeland, while Iranians believed in accuracy over pride and shame. “This is who you are, Daria. Embrace your truth. You do you.”

“You do you is a really gross expression,” Kurt said. “It’s trying to be about self-empowerment, but doesn’t it sound like it’s about masturbation?”

“Ew,” Joy said. “Seriously. I do not want to picture you doing yourself, Kurt. And can we stop? This is actually Daria’s culture, so can we all be a little less judgy?”

Joy got it since her parents were from Nigeria, which is nothing like Iran, but which is still somewhere different. She got that living in one world in your home and in a completely different world outside your home was like being two puzzle pieces that didn’t really fit together.

We found a cocktail waitress holding a pink tray of Heiditinis, and grabbed some.

Caroline gazed around the room. Pink balloons, pink disco balls, pink tablecloths, pink cupcakes. “This is color fascism,” she announced drily.

“Or tint totalitarianism,” Kurt said, and Caroline high-fived him.

But I was still stuck on Iranian stereotypes. “I mean, my culture basically invented poetry, math, and rice,” I said. “But all people seem to care about is that some of us have tacky taste, wear too much cologne, and build really ugly McMansions.”

“Hey,” Kurt said. “At least you have a culture. The only culture in my house growing up was homemade yogurt.” Kurt’s mom was an actress or therapist (depending on what day you asked her), and she was all about growing her own vegetables and fermenting kombucha.

Kurt had a point, but I hated that most people who heard the words Persian, fifteen, and Beverly Hills would immediately assume I was a spoiled Persian princess. They would’ve thought I was one of those girls who pouted until her father hired One Direction to perform at her sweet sixteen party. For the record, I liked One Direction . . . when I was nine.

The girl you’re imagining—the beautiful Persian princess—that’s Heidi, who stood in a circle with her Persian posse, aka the Nose Jobs. Heidi looked up at me and smiled. Her just-whitened teeth were perfect. She was wearing a skintight pink leopard-print dress. Her hair looked like it was straightened on an ironing board, and it had pink highlights for the occasion. Basically, she looked like a cross between Kylie Jenner and Hello Kitty, and by the way, she was the kind of girl who would’ve taken that as a compliment.

Heidi gave me a small wave with her left hand, and I noticed how perfect her manicure was. She had turned into our mothers, and I had turned into a chunky girl with dirty fingernails. I gave Heidi an awkward wave with my left hand, and then I quickly tried to hide my hands in my pockets. But the poufy pink dress I wished I weren’t wearing didn’t have pockets, so the gesture just felt weird and unfortunate. I knew better than to bother walking over to Heidi, and she didn’t come over either. It was hard to imagine that Heidi and I used to be best friends, but that was a long time ago. Now she was beautiful and popular, and I was, well, authentic.

Heidi’s mother, basically a grown-up version of Heidi, approached her and whisked her off to another room, no doubt to greet some elderly Persians. Respecting your elders is a really big thing for us.

As the Authentics and I did a lap around the room, I realized this was the first time my two disparate worlds—high school and Tehrangeles—had been brought together. To my left were the drama kids. To my right were my father’s golf buddies. To my left was our high school soccer team. To my right were my mother’s rummy ladies. And then I saw my parents gliding toward me, looking sophisticated as ever. We had arrived separately, since I’d gotten ready at Joy’s house.

“There you are,” Baba said. “You look beautiful.”

He was lying. I looked fat and pimply, though the dress Joy had picked out for me was cool in a throwback kind of way.

“Thanks, Baba,” I said.

“Hello, kids,” my mom said as she took in our colorful outfits. Caroline was wearing a pink bow tie with a vintage white polyester suit. Kurt was wearing a pink checkered shirt, white pants, and his signature fedora. Joy wanted to be a designer, so she’d picked all our outfits, but obviously hers looked best, a fuchsia disco dress she found on Melrose that she swore once belonged to Bianca Jagger. Joy was good at dressing us, but an expert at dressing herself. True confession: I had to Google Bianca Jagger, but I didn’t tell Joy. She took her style icons very seriously.

“It’s wonderful to see you all,” Sheila said to my friends. My mother liked me to call her Sheila, probably because it allowed her to pretend she was my older sister.

She was lying too. I mean, my mother liked the Authentics all right, but she wished I were still best friends with Heidi. She got Heidi, and she had no idea what to do with the Authentics. Maybe it’s because my mother valued being fabulous way more than being real. If my mother still believed in the Persian Empire, then she also believed she was its Cookie.

“Did you see the aquarium of pink goldfish in the bathroom?” Sheila said. “They’re so beautiful.”

We all laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Sheila asked. “I thought it was clever.”

“Beauty is in the pinkeye of the beholder,” I said, and my mother gave me that look she gave me when she thought I must be an alien she birthed.

“LOL,” Caroline said. Caroline’s goal in life was to skip college, move to New York, and become our generation’s preeminent lesbian performance artist. In her last piece, she vowed to incorporate an internet acronym into every sentence she spoke. IMHO, it wasn’t her strongest piece (that was definitely the one with the rats and the stilettos), but it did get people talking about communication and technology, and how we had all stopped really listening to each other.

Baba grabbed a pink meatball from a waiter’s tray. “Is this meatball undercooked or color-treated?” he asked as he popped it into his mouth.

Sheila laughed and threw her hair back. She turned to me and asked, “So, any ideas for your party yet?”

“We’ve talked about this. I don’t want some gross sweet sixteen party,” I said. “I just want to invite my friends—my real friends—over to the house.”

Perhaps sensing a tense mother-daughter moment, Caroline announced, “I think I’m gonna go try some pink fondue. The line doesn’t look too bad right now.” Joy and Kurt followed Caroline, and though I wanted to go with them, I stayed behind with my parents. Sometimes I felt like so much of my life was an obligation. There were so many things I had to do that it was hard to remember what I really wanted to do. But that’s what I loved most about the Authentics. They were the first part of my life that hadn’t been curated by my parents.

“Daria, please understand,” my mother pleaded. “We can’t throw a party without inviting the Ghorbanis, and the Palizis, and the . . .”

As Sheila continued rattling off the names of every Iranian family within a ten-mile radius of Beverly Hills, I caught Baba giving me a sympathetic glance. “Sheila djoon,” Baba softly interrupted, “I think Daria already understands that you would like to invite the entire Persian community to her sweet sixteen.”

“It would be rude not to,” Sheila said, as if we had no choice in the matter.

“Yes, I understand,” Baba said. “But since it’s Daria’s birthday, perhaps we can all compromise . . . and only invite half of the Persian community.”

And to my surprise, my mother threw her hair back and laughed again. This was her physical cue that she was having a good time. She did it when she was dancing, watching reruns of Seinfeld, or winning a round of rummy. Her hair was her tell. Kurt, whose mother had instilled in him a very deep love for astrology, said it was because she was a Leo. He said Leos needed their manes brushed all the time. I think Kurt meant that Sheila needed to feel admired, and Baba had figured out exactly how to do that. As for me, I wasn’t much of a mane brusher. I was the girl who’d chopped the hair off every Barbie doll I ever had.

“Well, I love parties,” Sheila said. She wasn’t lying. Sheila was always telling me to dress up more, go out more, put on more makeup, and have more fun. Sometimes, when I was in the library studying, I would tweet that I was having a dance party with friends just so Sheila would get off my back.

“So, Daria, if you don’t want your sweet sixteen to be the party of the century,” she continued, “then how about we focus on my forty-ninth birthday party next summer. I’d like everything to be lavender.”

“Even the goldfish?” I cracked, and to my shock, Sheila laughed and threw her hair back. Had I brushed her mane without even meaning to?

“Okay, we’ll throw you a lavender forty-ninth birthday,” Baba said, with a smile my way. In truth, she was fifty-two, but we let her get away with shifting her age as she saw fit. “It’ll be a party to remember,” Baba said. “We’ll paint the house lavender, and have lavender fondue, and lavender meatballs, of course.”

Sheila laughed and slapped Baba’s arm playfully. He pulled her close to him and gave her a kiss. And by kiss, I mean he went for it.

“You guys, get a room,” I said. “Preferably soundproofed.” Their passion was a cruel reminder that I had never even kissed anyone.

Luckily, a slide show began, diverting my parents’ attention. The whole party oohed and aahed as photos from Heidi’s past appeared on-screen. There was baby Heidi, smiling a gaptoothed smile in her mother’s arms. There was toddler Heidi, in ballet class, obviously. There was seven-year-old Heidi, randomly sitting on Kelly Ripa’s lap. There was tween Heidi, riding a roller coaster with her father. There were Heidi and her new friends, looking airbrushed and blow-dried, posing on top of Heidi’s dad’s car like they were Bravo reality stars doing a Carl’s Jr. commercial. And there was Heidi and me. We were twelve years old, lounging by her pool. Heidi, of course, looked adorable. I, on the other hand, looked frightening. My skin was covered in acne, my hair was frizzy, and I was wearing a too-tight bathing suit that made me look like a raspberry muffin.

All around us, the Persian parents commented on how cute Heidi looked and how beautiful she always was and how she looked just like her mother. I hated myself in that moment, because I wanted their approval as well. I wanted to be cute and beautiful and to look like my mother. The picture was up there for all of five seconds, but by the fourth second, I felt like I was being suffocated by it.

“Can we please leave?” I begged my parents in an urgent whisper.

“They haven’t even cut the cake,” my mother replied in a hushed tone. “It would be rude to—”

But I didn’t wait for her to finish the sentence. Instead, I walked out, causing a few of the guests to turn their attention away from the slide show. My parents followed me outside, and I could feel my mother’s annoyance radiating off her.

Once we were outside and alone, I turned to my mother ferociously. “You know who’s rude, Sheila?” I asked. “Heidi is rude. She makes me feel awful.”

“She’s your friend,” Sheila argued.

“If she’s my friend, then the shah and the ayatollah were besties.”

“Who is the shah in this situation?” Sheila asked.

“Obviously, she is,” I said.

My mother rolled her eyes. If anyone was going to be the shah in this analogy, it would be her daughter.

“Maybe you’re the queen,” Sheila said.

“Fine,” I said, “I’m the queen.”

Sheila placed a hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eye. “Now you just need to believe it.”

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