#YA is more than a character’s age YA is to do with themes and content

[my-lady-morgana]

listicle writers throwing in adult books into YA rec lists will never not be jarring like wdym The Poppy War as YA Fantasy wdym Gideon the Ninth as YA Enemies to Lovers literally why do people assumeany book written by a woman under 30 is YA

[drchucktingle]

DECONSTRUCTING DAMASCUS #1

hello buckaroos chuck tingle here to talk on my book camp damascus. i am very ADVERSE to spoilers and even though i LOVE discussing art i never want to discuss a book too soon, gotta give buckaroos a chance to read. i have been trying to find a balance of WHEN and HOW to have these talks because there is a lot to discover in camp damascus, and i finally think i have found safe way to do this.

i am going to write some posts talkin about various subjects relating to camp damascus themes and symbols and ideas. i will title these posts DECONSTRUCTING DAMASCUS and give them all the hashtag: "deconstructing damascus". if you do not want to be tempted you can go into your tumblr settings and MUTE hashtag "deconstructing damascus" until you are ready to come back and trot in this way.

i am also going to put all spoiler content below a READ MORE line so that buckaroos will not stumble upon it. you must click below to open these words up.

(EDIT: PART 2 IS HERE)

(EDIT: PART 3 IS HERE)

(EDIT: PART 4 IS HERE)

alright buckaroos lets trot. WARNING: SPOILERS BELOW

DECONSTRUCTING DAMASCUS #1: NEVERLAND

camp damascus is about SEVERAL things thematically, but i think in BROAD STROKES you can narrow this story down to two ideas. the first is about control through infantilizing victims of religious or conservative organizations, keeping them 'young and naive' forever, and the second theme is about taking a story and using the same text to pull out whatever viewpoint you want. in other words, there are MANY readings within a story and us readers see whatever story we want.

i will dive deeper into these topics in later DECONSTRUCTING DAMASCUS talks, but both of these concepts relate in some way to THIS discussion, which is the story of peter pan and neverland

camp damascus is about text having many interpretations, and so as a sort of META ART PIECE i wanted camp damascus to have many interpretations. i did this by creating thematic layers on top of each other in the SAME STORY, like a cake. in the case of camp damascus we have BIBLICAL LAYER, FAIRYTALE LAYER, and LITERAL LAYER.

today we are going to talk about the fairytale layer.

peter pan is the story of wendy darling, who is whisked away to a magical place known as NEVER NEVER LAND by peter pan, who is an eternally young boy. nobody ever grows up in never never land. in camp damascus we have rose darling, who is a resident of neverton, a small town in montana where all of to children are kept young and naive to their own true adult nature for as long possible. this is done in many ways, for instance all of the KINGDOM OF THE PINE kids act and talk like teenagers when they are technically adults (rose is 20). they are all still in high school due to intervention of the church. the practice of oppressing someones natural sexuality and growth into adulthood a way of keeping them young and 'innocent'. the KINGDOM KIDS are perpetually stuck between childhood and adulthood. when you are reading the book, there should be something about this age and behavior discrepancy that feels a little strange.

to capture this effect i also tried to create a book that was both categorically YA (young adult) and adult horror. there are topics and conversations and situations that should feel like you are reading a 'younger book', then moments of violence and layers of complex themes that feel like an adult book. it should straddle this line in an uncomfortable way.

now to the story itself. camp damascus is NOT a retelling of peter pan in any way. the plots are not the same at all. however it uses peter pan as a literary allusion in order to discuss the themes listed above. these references are to reinforce the idea of keeping buckaroos young and under the churches control by any means necessary.

many do not realize that the original peter pan character was quite a bit more sinister than the cartoon version. here is a quote from the original text about HOW neverland worked to keep the lost boys young:

“The boys on the island vary, of course, in numbers, according as they get killed and so on; and when they seem to be growing up, which is against the rules, Peter thins them out; but at this time there were six of them, counting the twins as two.”

yes CAPTAIN HOOK is the big villain, but peter pan himself is just as brutal. this is where we get PASTOR PETE BEND, the current head of camp damascus. in his own way he is HIP AND COOL AND ETERNALLY YOUTHFUL just like peter pan, but he also falls into the roll of a ruthless captain who will do whatever it takes. to pull apart his name we have pete, as in peter, and bend. what is another word for bend? hook.

kingdom of the pine members wear a red band round their left wrist, which is where the hand of their prophet as severed. you can also note that when pete bend he uses a weapon he uses his left hand, which is pretty notable for someone who is right handed. consider where a certain captains weapon is permanently affixed.

also working for kingdom of the pine and camp damascus, under the direct orders of pete bend, is DR. SMITH. dr smith is a jolly henchmen with a white beard and glasses. despite his drab office he sits in a blue and white striped chair. i should also point out that a version of the name smee is smeeth. just SAYIN.

WILLOW is another interesting one. after her time at camp damascus she gets into photography. she turns to NATURE and TRUTH and as she takes these photos her finger is steady and rhythmic like a clock. click. click. click. click. click. could these photos eventually be the downfall of pete bend?

when we see willow early on she is drinking for a coffee mug with a certain reptile on it. her last name is crogall, which translates to the name of a specific animal in scottish gaelic. rose also goes to meet willow where she lives, one town over from neverton in a little village named lebka rock. i will let the buckaroos figure out what that means.

there is actually much more than this (who is saul for instance?) but i think i have said all that buds need to know to enjoy this layer.

thank you for reading. FEEL FREE TO REBLOG but try not to put spoilers in the tags. i will talk on OTHER aspects of CAMP DAMASCUS soon and i hope this has inspired you to look at the text in a brand new way. LOVE IS REAL

[lunajay33]

Lost Part.2

•🗝️🕊️🩶•

Summary: Carl Grimes was your best friend since birth, when he died the world turns grey, he was your partner in crime so you shut yourself off from the world, no one could get through, until one day you’re wondering Alexandria seeing Negan in his cell, maybe he could be the one to break you out of this hell

Pairing: Negan Smith x f!reader

Content: Age gap, Depressing themes, Consoling, Spicy themes later on, breeding kink, character development

Part.1

•Masterlist•

After Michonne caught me having a moment with Negan, she told Daryl and now they’re ripping me a new one, I’ve never felt like I disappointed anyone more but I can’t help how I feel towards Negan, I don’t get to chose how I feel

Daryl and Michonne are pacing back and forth in the living room in front of me as I’m sat on the couch waiting for their outburst

“Damn kid what the hell were ya thinking? Ya know what he’s done” Daryl groaned

“I’m going to chalk this up to you trying to distract yourself from Carls death but…..”

“DON’T!” I cut Michonne off feeling that rage

“Y/n…..”

“Don’t talk about him, and don’t tell me how to feel, you don’t understand how I feel, Negan does….he’s helping me, I don’t feel extremely depressed when I talk to him, I thought I’d get better eventually but it’s been 2 months, hell Maggie got herself together quicker than this after Glenn, I don’t know what’s wrong with me” I feel my bottom lip wobble again hating the disappointed look

“Why can’t you let us help? Daryl’s tried, do you want Maggie to come back maybe she could talk some sense into you, see the reason why she doesn’t have Glenn anymore” Michonne huffed before she stomped out the house slamming the door

“I don’t like ya talking to him but…….i can’t watch ya go through this anymore, if yer just talking to him and it helps do it, just be careful sunshine” Daryl said more gently as he rubs my back

“Thanks D, I’m just gonna go to my room” I say defeated but at least Daryl was sort of on board, thankfully Michonne never brought up what she caught me and Negan doing, if so Daryl would’ve probably marched down to his cell and beat him black and blue

It’s been a week since everything happened, the first day after I got up to go see him and right as I got to his cell Michonne dragged me back to the house, she wasn’t as keen as Daryl was, I tried again the next day and the same thing happened, see even got Rick involved so now I’m basically under house arrest, by the third day I could feel that darkness seep back in, I continued to stay in my room, Daryl would occasionally bring me food and water just like now

“Hey kid, ya hungry?” He asks as he sits on the edge of my bed with a sandwich and glass of water

I nod feeling too tired to even speak, this was way out of character for Michonne, sure she could be a hard ass but this…..this was too much

“They still won’t let ya leave?” My silence answered his question hearing him sigh

“It’s happening again isn’t it?”

“Yeah, Negan was helping for a bit, I can’t think of anything else except Carl when I’m locked up in here” I say looking at the letter that I have placed on the night stand, he followed my gaze taking it and reading it

“Ya can’t keep reminding yourself of this over and over”

“I….i didn’t even get to say goodbye”

“Would seeing his grave help?”

I didn’t even know he had a grave, no one even told me but maybe seeing it and talking could help resolve something that’s been missing

“I know this might be a long shot but could I take Negan? Would you be able to convince Rick just for the day to let him out?”

He watched me for a bit with that look I can never decipher what he’s thinking

“I’ll try but I ain’t promising nothing, now come on I’ll walk ya to the cell”

I ate my sandwich on the walk to Negan and of course when we got there Michonne and Rick tried to stop me

“I’m telling ya Rick let her go, ya haven’t seen what I seen, she needs this” as they are arguing I slip past them down to Negans cell

“Hey” I call catching his attention

“Long time no see darlin”

“I’m sorry, if you can hear them you’ll know they’ve been keeping me under house arrest, I tried to come see you but…”

“I know, I heard everytime Michonne tried to stop you, I missed our talks though, I can see you have too”

“I’ve been thinking about our conversation last time, it’s partially been keeping me sane all locked up”

“Can’t say it hasn’t crossed my mind baby, but you know I’d never use you right, I ain’t sick like that”

“I know, you’re different now hell I’m different now, I just wish you weren’t in this cell I’m working on it”

“What do you mean?”

“Daryl said I could go to Carls grave, I didn’t even know he had one until today, I asked if I could take you out for the day since I don’t feel judged with you, obviously only if you wanted, he said he’s gonna try to work something out”

“Oh sweetheart, you got a good heart but are you sure you want me out with you?”

“You don’t have to”

“No I want to, I wanna be there for you”

Just being here for a few moments have lifted that weight off my chest

Later that night everyone went to bed early and they left my door unlocked so I sneak out as quietly as possible, quickly making my way down the block to Negans cell and he was still wide awake, I unlock his cell and sit next to him his arms immediately wrapping around me

I sigh in relief to be able to touch him again, to feel his warmth, he moved me around so I’m partially laid against his chest and lap as he sat back against the brick wall playing with my fingers

“Have you tried anything since our conversation last week?” He asks breaking the silence my body feeling on fire instantly

“I still don’t know how”

“Want me to show you baby?” I look up at him feeling my legs tingle

“You’d do that?”

“I’d love it, you need to unwind, forget about your problems for a moment”

“Please, please help me forget” I whine feeling his hand rub up and down my thigh

“My pleasure” he smirks as he plays with the hem of my pants before pushing his hand fully down basically grasping my pussy

“Look at that baby girl, already wet and I’ve barely done anything” I can feel my face redden

“This is so embarrassing” I mumble hearing him laugh

“Nah baby, this is hot as hell, you’re being such a good girl” his praise eased me

His fingers circled my clit making me jolt it felt so foreign, everytime I’ve tried it’s felt like nothing but his strong hands touching me was so much more than I could imagine

“Oh god” I whine as he gets faster pushing me closer to the edge

“You like that angel? Do I make you feel good?” He teased as he grips my hair with his other hand

“Yes Negan! Oh it’s too much fuck” I gasp when he moves his hand down and enters a finger then another stretching me a bit with his big long fingers

“You okay darling?” He asks as he continues to finger me at a slow pace, doing a come here motion hitting a spot I’ve never felt before

“Woah, that feels…….oh god that feels different”

“Different good?” He goes a bit faster making me see stars as my head slumps against his chest

“So good, why does it feel better when you do it” I whine

“Cause I know how to please ya, this tight pussy just need a good man to clear your head, fix all your worries”

Something was building low in my stomach, it felt so weird but good but also like I was gonna lose control

“Negan wait I’m gonna…” but he kept going

“No baby it’s alright I’ve got you, let it go” his thumb came up to rub my clit again and I instantly let go feeling his hand wrap around my mouth as I let out a intense scream my sight going white, my pants felt soak as I came back down to earth laying limp in his arms

“Fuck baby, that was hot as fuck, you’re dripping” I sat up realizing what just happened, I look at him as he sucks his fingers clean making me hot all over again

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I told you something was happening now I made a mess and my pants are full of piss, I have to go” I turn to leave completely embarrased when I feel his arms wrap around me from behind

“Oh baby, you’re so damn cute, that’s normal and it’s so damn sexy, you just came all over my fingers and let me tell you, you taste like heaven” he whispers in my ear as I turn in his arms

“Are you sure this is normal…….it did feel really good couldn’t see for a second” he smirks gripping my hips

“If you think that was good baby, wait till I give you this dick, you’ll be begging for more after”

“Can we now?” I beg as I push him back on the bed straddling his hips

“As much as I’d love to destroy this pussy, I ain’t taking your virginity in some grimy cell where everyone can see and hear us”

“Okay, but what about you I can feel how hard you are, I can help” I say grinding down on him moaning as I feel his bulge rub against my sensitive clit

“Not tonight, tonight was about you”

“Well if I can’t help…..can I atleast see it?” I ask biting my finger aching to see his dick

“You ever see one before?” He asks laughing

“No please I wanna see it” I pull on his belt slowly undoing it waiting for him to stop me but he never does, unbuttoning his pants, we both stand so I can pull his pants down to his thighs, playing with the hem of his boxers

“Go ahead darling, he ain’t going to bite” he says gripping my hair, I pull them down seeing it smack against his stomach and my knees felt like jelly again, it was so big and thick it was mouth watering

“You like what you see”

“Can I touch it” I look up at him seeing his eyes were blown with lust

“Go ahead baby” I run my finger up the bottom till I reach the tip and circle it my finger wet with liquid, I bring it up and lick it and it tastes so good I want more hearing him groan as I do it

“Fuck you know what you just did?”

I shake my head I feel so clueless with all this

“God you’re going to be the death of me” I push him back down on the bed again and kneel between his legs

“Please I want more let me lick it”

“God how can I say no to that”

I lean down flicking my long over the tip tasting him again but I need more, I’ve heard others talk about blow jobs and this must be it, I take him in my mouth circling my tongue around hearing him hiss I look up but her looks like he’s enjoying it as he runs his hands through my hair

I take more of him in my mouth till he hits the back of my throat but I keep going till my nose is flush to his stomach moaning when I finally fit him in

“Jesus Christ baby” his moans drive me insane, I move my head up and down as his groans get more and more louder till I feel a warm liquid fill my mouth it’s surprises me, I lean back on my legs looking up at him with a mouth full of his cum, I swallow it feeling like ecstasy

“Was that your first time cause god damn woman I ain’t ever had my dick sucked like that”

“I want more, god Negan I could get addicted to this” he lets out a low laugh as he tucks his dick back in his boxers

“Oh baby what have I unleashed”

Part.3

Taglist: @lanadelnegan @lvrgirl6999 @aubiewabie33 @mordilwen-of-mirkwood @sweetbutpsychobutsweet @sadgenderfluidmaniac @aleemendoza2425-blog @donniedarkosblog @itsmytimetoodream @twisteduniverse5 @heidiland05 @negandevotee

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Western Nights.

You don't expect to bump into your dad's best friend Javier in a church basement on the outskirts of town. You also didn't expect to fall in love with him. Life seems to be full of surprises - and Javier was the biggest surprise of all.

Pairing - Dad'sBestFriend!Javier Peña x Female Reader

Age Rating - 18+

Word Count - 3.6k

Warnings - cursing. sexual content at the end. talk and themes of PTSD. brief mention of domestic abuse. several mentions of panic attacks. age gap (but all very legal and consensual). smut in future chapters.

Author's Note - it's finally here!! i've had this idea for so long and i'm so glad to finally put pen to paper. the dads best friend trope is one of my biggest weaknesses and javier peña is my favourite character ever, so naturally this was born. this fic will tackle some topics that may be a little tough for some people, so make sure to read the warnings!! can't wait to get this up on its feet and running, and for javi and peaches story to develop <3

as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback!) are immensely appreciated!! <3

Masterlist. Requests.

Series Masterlist. The Playlist.

Healing isn't linear. Recovery is a journey. This is a choice I have to make. No one else can make it for me.

You're repeating reassurances to yourself in your mind as you descend the stairs to the basement.

It's dimly lit, and it takes your eyes a minute to adjust. When they do, you're able to make out an old, heavy, oak wood lectern at the front of the room. Rows of flimsy plastic chairs are set almost as an audience, and tables line the edges. The carpet is worn, beige, and stained, the entire space smelling like must and bad coffee. You wonder how many girls like you have stepped foot in here in the past.

You pull the sleeves of your sweater down over your wrists and stick to the back wall, willing yourself to become invisible. Watching as people mill in slowly, you take a deep, steadying breath. In for 4. Hold for 4. Out for 6.

"Hi!" a middle aged, dyed blonde, motherly woman screeches at you. The cadence of her voice makes you jump.

"Sorry, sweetpea! Didn't mean to scare you," she looks you up and down before continuing. "You're new here, ain't ya?"

Her southern accent, albeit very high pitched, is somewhat comforting. It's something familiar in this room full of the unknown.

"Yeah," you just about manage to choke out.

She surveys you again, this time with no judgment. You realise she's just trying to figure you out, as you are her.

"If you need anything, just come find me. I'm Primrose."

You smile gently at the floral moniker, and decide that Primrose might be some much needed support. Her motherly aura was calming you ever so slightly.

"Alright, ladies and gentlemen, if we could all talk a seat, that'd be fantastic."

A tall, curly haired man - who can't be more than 30 - wearing a name tag sticker that reads 'Tobias' has taken his place behind the lectern, gesturing at everyone to sit down. You pick a chair near the back, slouching down and ducking your head.

"Wonderful. Hi, everyone."

A chorus of hellos echoes around the room, everyone clearly used to this routine.

"For anyone who's new here, I'm Tobias, but everyone calls me Tobi. I've been a Priest for the last five years, and I've been running this group for the last two. Usually, how it works is that we get a few people to come up and speak through their experiences."

Your chest tightens, and you have to remind yourself to keep breathing. As if he sees your panic, Tobi continues.

"Most people find that being able to talk freely and without judgment is a useful coping mechanism. PTSD is complex, and it isn't something that can ever be fully 'cured' - but we can find ways to make things easier. You're in a room full of ladies and gentlemen that might not understand your experience, but definitely understand your feelings."

He catches your eyes across the depth of the room and smiles gently. You muster up the strength to smile back cautiously, and he nods before speaking again.

"Some just come here to listen. Others find it beneficial to talk. No one is going to pressure you, judge you, or scald you. This is a safe space. Share as much or as little as you'd like. Okay?"

Everyone nods and murmurs in agreement. Tobi seems to have a way of reassuring the entire room without really trying. He's calming, tender hearted, genuine. You like him already.

"Who wants to start?"

Primrose shoots up out of her chair on the front row and makes her way to the front. Tobi squeezes her shoulder as she passes, and she beams at him.

"Hi, y'all! I'm Primrose."

The room is clearly familiar with the blonde ball of excitement. Everyone yells greetings at her, her energy almost infectious.

"Most of you know my story, but just in case you don't -"

Her eyes flit to you briefly, and she smiles. You half smile back, relaxing slightly.

"I was in a marriage where I suffered domestic abuse. He used to hit me, manipulate me, call me names. You think it, he did it."

She takes a breath, putting the smile back on her face where it's faltered.

"I have some news to share. I'm engaged!"

A few people jump out of their seats to hug her, congratulating her with pats on the back and yelled excitement.

"Thank y'all, thank y'all! I couldn't wait to tell you guys. I just... I never thought that I could ever be happy again. I certainly never thought that I'd ever find the courage to be with another man, after everything. But I've found someone amazing. And he treats me like a queen. So, to anyone who's new here - it is possible. I promise you. Y'all better help me pick out a dress!"

The room erupts into applause, and Primrose smiles so bright you're surprised the lights don't shatter.

After Primrose, an elderly man named Walter takes the stage. He explains his experience in the military, and the trauma and violence he witnessed for years. You learn that he's a recovering alcoholic, who wasn't had a drink for 9 years. He shakes slightly where he stands, leaning against the cane in his hand. You can tell he's lived through hell.

Finally, after Walter, Tobi stands at the lectern. He's the sole survivor of a car accident that killed his two best friends. After struggling to cope, he turned to God, and became a Priest to better help people just like him in his community. He speaks with such ease, such grace. A wave of calm sweeps over the room as everyone listens intently.

He checks the brown leather strapped watch on his right wrist before clicking his tongue.

"Well, folks, that's all the time we have for today! Feel free to stick around and chat to each other, as always. There's coffee and cookies on the table, and Janet made some of her famous honey loaf too. Thanks for coming. Same time next week?"

Everyone agrees in shouts and thumbs up directed towards the front. Slowly, people rise, stacking their chairs away before making their way over to the table where the coffee sits next to the styrofoam cups.

You remain seated for a little longer, catching your breath. Your teeth are digging into your bottom lip, knawing at it anxiously. You suddenly taste pennies, and lick up the blood quickly with your tongue.

Standing up shakily, you fold your chair at its hinges and add it to the stack at the front of the room. A yawn overtakes you, tiredness suddenly settling into your bones.

Coffee. You need coffee.

You make your way over to the tables, timidly smiling at Primrose as she shows off her ring to a small group of people. Just as you reach over and grab an empty cup, you become suddenly aware of a presence behind you.

"Don't drink that."

A warm, rich, booming voice hits your ears. The large, looming presence comes a little closer, towering over you.

"Trust me, honey. It's the worst coffee you'll ever taste in your life."

You know that voice, it's familiar timbre.

Javier Peña.

You turn around to be met with the sight of him peering down at you intently. He's wearing a flannel and blue jeans, heavy boots on his feet. He smells like musk, sandalwood, and the Texan heat.

God, he looks good. He's strikingly handsome. Objectively attractive. Everyone in your town agrees that Javier Peña is one beautiful man.

And seemingly unattainable. Since leaving Lorraine at the altar years ago, no one has heard any word of Javier so much as dating.

"Such a waste," your mom always says. "Gorgeous man like that. He could have anyone he wants!"

And it's true. Chocolate hair, broad shoulders, strong thighs. The man is a heartthrob.

A heartthrob with a secret, apparently.

"Javier?" you question. "What are you doing here?"

It's now you realise that he's here. At the meeting. You've done such a good job of keeping your head down, going relatively unnoticed. And now, staring down at you, is your dad's best friend. So much for covert.

He must see the realisation on your face. Or maybe he notices the way your breathing quickens. Either way, he places a warm palm on your shoulder, looking at you carefully.

"Hey. It's okay," he reassures. "I won't tell if you won't."

You nod meekly, trying to stay calm. In for 4, hold for 4, out for 6.

The basement suddenly feels too small, too dark, too stuffy. The carpet is too scratchy, the chairs too hard, the table too white. You need to get out before your chest caves in.

"You know, if you still want coffee, there's a diner like ten minutes from here. They do really good pie," Javier tells you, distracting you from your impending panic attack.

You take a breath and nod.

"Yeah. Okay. I like pie."

"Come on," he encourages, gesturing at you to lead the way. "Walk with me."

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

You and Javier walk steadily side by side in silence, fingers occasionally accidentally brushing each other. After it happens twice, you decide to put your hands in your pockets the rest of the way, ignoring the warmth that radiates off him.

You eventually arrive at Cherry Pie Diner. The neon sign is blinding, shades of bright pink, yellow and blue flashing and flickering. Inside, the white overhead lights illuminate classic red leather booth seats and waitresses in pinafore aprons.

"Here we are. When you go in, ask for JoJo. She'll take care of you," he winks.

You stand stuck in your place on the sidewalk for a minute, processing his words.

"You're not coming in?"

He seems taken aback by your question. Now he's the one processing.

"You... uh - you want me to?"

"I, uh, yeah. I mean... if you're not busy... I just, uh - nevermind. Sorry. Forget I said anything."

"I didn't want to overstep, you know, it, uh- But if it's okay with you... I could do with some coffee."

Javier smiles at you gently, gauging your reaction. When you smile back hesitantly, he pushes open the door to the diner, gesturing at you to head inside.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"What looks good, honey?"

You raise your eyes from the menu you were staring at intently to quirk your brow at Javier.

"Hmm?"

"I asked if anything looked good," he repeats kindly.

"I, um, I'm not sure. What do you recommend?"

"The peach pie," he says without hesitation.

The quick response makes you laugh, the melody of it tugging at Javier's heart strings. He realises, sadly, that he hasn't heard that sound in a hell of a long time.

"Listen, I know it's not anyone's go to," he justifies, "but it's honestly the best thing on the menu. There's nothin' like it."

"Okay," you say with complete certainty. "Peach pie it is."

JoJo is a bubbly, Southern woman with rosy cheeks and a smile that never seems to falter. She takes your orders happily, flirting with Javier like you weren't sat watching, confusion and awkwardness plastered across your face.

"You two seem close," you approach gently, trying to make conversation.

"Yeah, I know her husband. JoJo's been serving me here for at least 10 years. Peach pie, every time," he laughs.

"I'm usually a cherry pie girl. Maybe you'll convert me."

You both sip steadily at your coffees, humming in contentment at your first bites of pie. Halfway through your slice, you break the silence.

"Okay, fine. This might be the best pie I've ever had."

"I told you," he smirks. "I'll never lead you wrong, honey. Promise. Not where pie is concerned, anyway."

You finish off your slices in comfortable quiet, neither of you quite sure what to say next.

"So, uh... about tonight..." you begin nervously.

"I won't tell anyone I saw you, cariño. I swear."

You breathe a sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Javi. Really."

Javi. The nickname so rarely used, it makes his heart stutter for a second.

"You're... you're not gonna ask what I was doing at that meeting?"

He tilts his head slightly, gazing at you carefully before replying.

"If you wanted to tell me, you would. I'm not gonna push you. These things take time."

He smiles like he knows. You think, maybe, he does.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything, sweetheart."

A breath. In for 4, hold for 4, out for 6.

"Was that your first meeting too?"

He shakes his head, soft curls rippling.

"I've been going for a few months. I sneak out of town every week, so I'm pretty sure Chucho thinks I'm having a secret love affair. He doesn't ask questions."

You both laugh, and JoJo's head whips up, her curiosity peaked. She's never heard Javier laugh like this. Sure, he chuckles at her jokes, but the sound doesn't usually reach the corners of the room like that.

"He'd probably love it if you were, you know. Your love life is often a topic of conversation in my house, among many others in our neighbourhood."

He scoffs, and kicks your foot under the table teasingly.

"Man, nothing happens in that damn town, does it?"

"Nothing at all. Think we're overdue a secret love affair from you, Mr Peña. It might liven things up a little."

"Shut it, you," he chuckles, rolling his eyes.

You pull the sleeves of your sweater back down over your wrists again.

"I haven't seen you in a while. Think my dad is starting to get worried, you know."

A deep crease appears between his brows abruptly, hand rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah. I've just been busy, I guess. Tryna sort my shit out," he snickers dryly, no real humour in it.

"So did you do it?"

"Hmm?"

"Sort your shit out?"

Now he laughs genuinely, bright smile gracing his cheeks.

"Absolutely fucking not."

"Man, I know the feeling," you reassure.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Your breathing speeds up slightly, eyes darting around the room. Javier notices, reaching across the booth to grab your hand. He intertwines his fingers with yours, thumb rubbing comforting patterns on your skin. You take a deep breath. In for 4, hold for 4, out for 6.

"I feel like... like I'm... uh...," he nods at you reassuringly, squeezing your hand a little tighter. "I feel like I'm drowning. I'm barely keeping my head above water at any given moment. And I'm tired, Javi. Fuck, I'm tired."

A warm, salty tear escapes you, running down your cheek. Javi leans forward and brushes it away with his thumb, big brown eyes never leaving yours.

"It's okay, cariño. You're okay," he murmurs. "I get it. God, I get it."

"You do?" you sniffle.

"I do," he confirms. "More than you could ever know. And I know how lonely it feels. But I promise you, sweetheart. You're not alone. Not anymore."

His voice is like warm honey, soothing and golden. It melts into you, releases some of the tension from your shoulders. The tightness in your chest loosens slightly, and you take a deep breath. You find the courage to look at him again, and find that he hasn't taken his eyes off you once. His gaze is like an anchor, tethering you to reality. You surprise yourself by not wanting to shy away from the intensity of it. No, you want more.

Javier lets go of your hand to trace his fingertips up your forearm. He draws patterns carefully, as if he's learning every inch of you, committing you to memory. Like he isn't sure when he'll get to touch you like this again. If he'll get to touch you like this again.

You're still looking at each other, neither of you gathering the courage to look away. It's as if Javi is reading the words off the very surface of your soul. You're not sure you've ever felt so understood in your life. It terrifies you.

Without thinking, you grab a hold of Javier's hand and raise it to your lips, kissing each of his knuckles gently. The tenderness makes his heart ache.

"Hermosa," he sighs almost wistfully.

The sound of his voice snaps you back to the present moment.

"I'm sorry," you stutter, letting go of him. "Fuck, Javi, sorry. I don't - oh, I... fuck."

"Why do you do it?" he asks.

"Do... do what?"

"Apologise for everything. Every other word out of your mouth is 'sorry'," he chuckles affectionately.

"Sorry," you mumble without thinking. You pause, registering your words. The two of you break out into laughter, clutching at your stomachs.

"Are you?"

"Am I...?"

"Are you sorry? Or do you just say it because you think people want to hear it? You can't apologise for your entire existence, cariño."

You look into those warm, chocolate eyes, and realise he's read you for filth. He's right.

"I'm not sorry," you whisper.

He quirks a brow and nods attentively, urging you to continue.

"For... for what I just did. I'm not sorry."

You're praying that he understands what you're trying to say. I'm not sorry for my tender gesture. I'm not sorry for this connection we've made. I'm not sorry for my soft heart.

"I'm not either," he replies, barely above a murmur. You hear him, clear as day.

You reach out, this time, and interlock your fingers with his across the table. His large hand envelopes yours, and he squeezes. It effects you more than it probably should.

JoJo drops a plate behind the counter, the red and white china shattering across the checkerboard floor. The smash snaps you both out of the moment, making you jump. Your heart kicks into overdrive, battering against your ribcage.

"Hermosa, it's alright. Just a plate."

You hear him, but your nervous system doesn't seem to want to cooperate. Your breaths become laboured and frantic, and your hold on Javi's hand tightens almost painfully.

"Come on, Peaches, let's get out of here. It's getting late."

Javier stands from his bench seat and pulls you up with him, never once removing his fingers from where they're locked with yours. He shoots a smile over to JoJo, who returns it with glee. The two of you walk across the parking lot, hand in hand, illuminated by the neon light of the diner's sign. The colours dance across Javier's cheekbones, reflecting off the brush of his mustache, painting the rich brown warmth of his hair. He's never looked more handsome.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"Peaches."

"Hmm?" Javier asks from where he's leaning against the side of your car, back in the church parking lot.

"You called me Peaches. In the diner."

He nods, smirk etched on his streetlit face.

"Because of the pie."

"Because of the pie," he echoes.

"I like it," you confess quietly. "Peaches."

Javier pushes off the vehicle and stands, towering over you. Without a second thought, he brushes a thumb over your cheekbone in a featherlight touch.

"Sweet like peaches," he murmurs. "Too fuckin' sweet for a world like this one."

You look up at him, breath catching in your throat when you meet his eyes. He's gazing at you with adoration. With tenderness. With so much softness. Your knees go weak with the weight of it all.

It hits you, suddenly. The realisation.

You want to kiss him.

You want to kiss Javier Peña.

You want to kiss him more than you've ever wanted to kiss anyone in your entire life.

You're stood in the parking lot of a church on the outskirts of town with your dad's best friend and you're feeling the closest thing to happy you've felt in months.

You take a step forward, closing the gap between you. The warmth radiating from the older man settles itself in your bones, shielding you from the chill of the night. Just as you tilt your face up towards his, your phone buzzes.

Jumping apart as if you've been caught, you check your messages with shaky hands.

"It's my mom. She thinks I'm with a friend, so she's just checking in. She doesn't like it when I drive in the dark."

The mention of your mother snaps Javier out of his peachy haze.

"You should get back, cariño. It's late. Sorry for keeping you."

"Now who's apologising for no reason?"

He laughs, and you feel like you've won a gold medal. An achievement in its own right.

You climb into the drivers seat of your car, starting up the engine. Just as you're about to leave, Javi taps on the window. You roll it down.

"Same time next week, Peaches?"

"Same time next week, Javi."

You drive away with a smile on your face and a warmth in your stomach, the taste of peach still lingering on your lips. You notice that Javier drives behind you steadily, following you carefully to make sure you get home safe.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

You're staring at the ceiling.

You're plagued by insomnia.

According to the Internet, it goes hand in hand with your PTSD. You make a mental note to work up the courage to ask Tobi about it in the next meeting.

You lie in bed, watching as the sunlight slowly illuminates the room. Usually, you'll make a cup of tea, read a book, watch a TV show. Pace around the room like a caged animal. Count sheep. Do yoga. Listen to music.

Tonight, you take a different approach.

Tonight, you slip a hand under the waistband of your underwear, and replay the way Javi murmured your name in the diner on repeat.

It does the trick.

@frogers @farintonorth @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @pedrobaby @grace46 @harriedandharassed

[theunholyrogue]

the guys find out you have a mask k!nk (21+ minors dni!) bayverse turts! x reader

i have not fallen off the face of the earth! i have just FINALLY found the time to write after my classes ended for summer and even though it’s not something i’d normally write, i think it’s… fitting. :) ~ + it’s not because i’m also obsessed with ghost and konig from cod haha what

⚠️: mature themes; minors dni, mentions of an obvious mask kink, sexual innuendos, the devils tango doesn’t happen here sorry guys :( #notactuallysorry, characters are all of adult age (18+)

💙Leonardo💙

You and Leonardo had always been straightforward and open, from the moment the two of you became acquaintances, to best friends, to now partners. You both felt that communication was key— a key that was necessary to keeping your relationship alive and full of excitement as well as respect (along with the other vital roles!) So, when the time came that both of you were comfortable and ready to go all the way with one another, you both had a conversation about what you were both into, not cool with, possibilities, etcs, and that was that.

Except one thing.

You had been embarrassed to admit to a certain turn-on due to the fact that you didn’t think that Leo would understand.

Masks.

He wore one everyday, how he possibly understand?

The thought drove you insane until one night, when the two of you were getting freaky and Leonardo started to undo his mask, you boldly piped up.

“Leave the mask on.”

He stared at you, almost in bewilderment before his lips twitched into a smirk. He was onto you.

He didn’t question you on it right then— oh how dare he kill the mood! No, he waited until the two of you had gone four rounds and laid next to each other, panting.

You curled up into his side and he now draped his arm over you before opening his mouth.

“Again?”

“No.”

“Alright….”

Silence.

“A mask kink, huh?”

“Shut up!”

“All I’m saying is, I could’ve gotten so much more by leaving it on than by taking it off this entire time and you didn’t tell me!”

❤️Raphael❤️

It was summertime and you had managed to be able to snag a couple of nights off to be able to spend some time with your lovely partner, Raphael.

You two had been dating roughly after the technodrome and Kraang paid a visit to NYC, and not much longer after that is when you two started going at it ya freaks. You were both secure in the relationship, both had a healthy intimate life with one another and with yourselves if times were tough.

You being you, you had an unhealthy habit of not clearing your search history after naughty content, and will tend to forget about it until you need to search something on your phone— which isn’t that common with Donnie around.

So, whilst in the midst of spending one of your summertime eves with Raphael in the confinement of your apartment, you get up to go to the bathroom while he is watching a TV show on the television in front of you two. Confused by what the show had just ended on, he thought he had grabbed his phone to search the show for answers and whenever he pulled the browser up, his gaze was met of that which contained mask kink galore.

Raphael set your phone down, the website still pulled up as you hummed your way back into the room and once your eyes met the screen and then his, all he did was smirk and pat his lap.

“You got some ‘splainin’ to do.”

💜Donatello💜

You had always found it weird that you thought masks were such a sweet spot for you. You didn’t think that it could be considered a kink to like masks in the bedroom, or that the whole idea of kinks had just never been properly explained to you, so the conversations about them always made you feel awkward.

It took you a while to truly feel okay with just learning what you think you would like as far as kinks go, and once you found out that masks were a kink that others had, you felt a little less weird about the whole situation.

Not to mention that whenever you and Donnie started dating, you couldn’t help but imagine all the things he could do to you, simply because of the purple friggin mask on his face~. He never noticed how zoned out you would get around him until he had to draw you out of it.

Whenever he did find out was the time that the two of you finally decided to do the deed. He had felt like you wanted him to take his mask off, ironically, until you stopped him and asked him to keep it on. He didn’t think anything of it, but you overthought your request and had to explain it to him a few times that night that you felt like you were attracted to masks and needed a little bit a reassurance, which the turtle was very happy to give.

After finding that tidbit out, he was more than happy to surprise you every now and again with different masks to spice things up in the bedroom when he felt like his purple eye mask was getting too boring. (which it never was but-)

🧡Michelangelo🧡

You were not subtle in letting Mikey know that you had a mask kink.

You didn’t even know you had a mask kink.

The mask kink let you know that it had you.

Anywho, let me tell you the story.

Mikey was bragging about getting his hands on the newest copy of COD: MWII and had been playing it ever since he had gotten it.

You had been laying behind him watching tiktok during the time that everybody and their mother’s were falling head over heels for Ghost, König, or both, and making edits of them.

You had fallen into this trap and of course with your partner playing the exact game… you made him restart so that you could see Ghost in ALL of his glory.

Mask and ALL.

You had never once paid so much attention to a mask before until this very moment and made it known to Mikey that you really liked Ghost’s mask, and then you turned to Mikey.

Low and behold, he’s wearing a mask.

And goddamn you are turned on.

“Mikey, turn the game off.”

“But! I just restarted!”

“I said turn it off!”

“Okay!!!”

Mikay could not have been any less prepared for that evening than he was.

Mikey’s sucks I’m sorry—

[eg515]

I want to tell you all a bit about what is currently happening in Hungary because once again the government chose Pride Month (which is in July here) to attack the lgbtq+ community. Three news from just the past week: queer books are wrapped in plastic in bookshops, a bench painted in rainbow colours started a war in Budapest, and a law about retirement was modified to specifically exclude trans women. I'm sure others posted about these, probably could put it better than me, but here it is in one place.

Books: two years ago the government passed a so-called "child protection" law, but it's most commonly reffered to as the anti-gay law. The law is supposed to protect children, but it bans all media depictions of anything that would "promote homosexuality" or different gender identities.

The law is hard to understand on purpose, to make it unclear what is against the law and what isn't, resulting in the censoring of everything even remotely not cishet in fear of accidentally breaking the law. One notable example of this is commercials on tv. All media "promoting" homosexuality or gender change has to have an age restriction on it, including commercials. But since it is unclear what this means, now all tv ads have a 12+ rating, on every channel.

Previously bookstores which sell lgbt themed books had to make this clear and separate these books, which resulted in many bookstores having signs on their doors saying they sell these books. Some bookstores were fined for failure to comply.

Last week people started noticing that in the biggest bookstore chain, Libri, certain books were wrapped in clear plastic. This all happened because of the anti-gay law. Books including lgbtq characters are now wrapped in plastic and cannot be sold at the YA section of the store, they are moved to the adult section, regardless of the topic. Multiple writers called this out on social media, finding their own books wrapped up and moved.

Once again, since the law in unclear, Libri is wrapping up random books, because there is no clear guideline what goes against the law and what doesn't.

From literally two hours ago: one of the biggest bookstore chains, Líra, was just fined for 12 million forints (approx. 35k dollars) for selling Heartstopper without the wrapping, in the YA section.

The Bench: last Thursday, Amnesty International, with the permission of the mayor of the district, painted a bench in Budapest rainbow colours.

This was supposed to symbolise love and acceptance, especially during Pride Month. Since then, the bench was painted 6 more times. First, two men belonging to the neonazi fanclub of the local football club painted the bench the club colours, green and white. Amnesty International filed a police report, and painted the bench back to the rainbow colours.

Then the bench was painted green and white by two football fans yet again, this time with the message "stop lmbtq". After this, someone painted it back to brown, and left a note saying "I just want to be a bench. Which is good for everyone. To you. To them. To us."

After this Amnesty International repainted it with the rainbow colours. Then just today, a right-wing party, Mi Hazánk painted it red-white-green, the national colours, and stated that they will offer protection to the football fans, they will do the sane painting to any rainbow coloured anything they find anywhere in the country, and if anyone paints over it, they will file a police report for damaging a national symbol.

update: just a few hours after the last painting, unknown people wrapped the bench in plastic, with the message "Lately LGBTQ+ content can only be in public in wrapping", referencing the plastic wrapped books

The transphobic retirement law: back in 2010, Fidesz, the current ruling party made a promise during its campaign, which since then became a law. Currently this "Nők40" (Women40) law allows women to retire after 40 years of work, including time spent raising a child, as a way to honour women.

In 2006 the EU ruled that transgender people are entitled to retirement according to the gender they are when retiring. In line with this, earlier this year a Hungarian court ruled in favour of a trans woman, allowing her to retire after 40 years of work, due to the Nök40 law. It is worth noting that she has legally changed her gender in all her offical papers in 2013, and only found out in 2021 that the pension payer still had her registered as a man, and due the transphobic Law 33 passed in 2020, the pension payer refused to correct her gender. The court later ruled in her favour though, and she can retire.

Now, a member of Fidesz argues that this ruling is "a gross provocation and a slap in the face of the legal system". She urged lawmakers to changed the law and make it clear what they mean by women, reminding everyone that Fidesz still maintains that there are only two biological genders.

This was yesterday. By today, a change in the law was prepared. The announcement said the law has been clear for everyone with common sense, but to avoid any "sensitized" judge using this legal loophole, they are now amending it so it stated the early retirement is for everyone who "worked as a woman for 40 years". They claim now nobody can just decide to suddenly want to be a woman for early retirement after working as a man for 39 years. Because obviously early retirement, in a country where it is impossible to make ends meet just on pension alone, is the main reason someone would "decide" to be trans. Obviously.

so, this is where we're at in Hungary, two days before the Budapest Pride Parade. another Pride Month, another attack on lgbtq rights. I don't really have a point with this, I don't want to guilt trip anyone. Just spreading the word, since we rarely read about non-usamerican news.

[momentsofamberclarity]

yeah it may not be real but you know what is real?

the sexual arousal you feel towards r34 of underage characters

doesn't matter if it's not real, you feel aroused by a depiction of a child

also i decided to ask anonymously because i don't want proshippers to send me death threats, something i've seen them do much more than "antis"

Are you someone who only ships things for the sake of smut? Do you base the entirety of your personality on the porn you consume? If your answer is anything but yes, then why do you assume that proshippers do that?

There are toxic people in every community. Yes, every single one of them. Fandom. Bandom. Youtubers. Kinks. Queer. Etc. That does not mean that the content being made is bad or wrong, or that the entire community is predatory just because there are a few bad eggs. There are toxic proshippers, and there are toxic antis. And these morality wars are hurting more people than they're protecting.

Oh, and plot twist for ya, nonnie: I'm a sex repulsed ace in a healthy decade long relationship with someone my age who is also a proshipper!! I don't jerk off to my ships regardless of the characters' ages because they're not sexual to me. I like chemistry and emotional intensity. I like exploring themes that I would never dare to even consider offline. But I still support other people making and consuming what they want and how they want it in their own safely designated spaces, which is exactly why tagging systems exist. And yes, that includes me supporting your right to disagree with me entirely and/or block me if you truly believe that what I'm saying is dangerous.

[arson-09]

Adult themes in YA books

More and more I'm seeing explicit adult content in YA books and its starting to bother me.

I've been reading YA for a long time, since I was about 10. Starting with Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, and The Hunger Games. All which are pretty solid YA books with more themes of violence and romance. However, I'm noticing more YA books getting more explicit, adult themes starting to saturate this genre. There's nothing wrong with sex in books but it's becoming more graphic in this genre. What happened to fade to black scenes? if you were old enough you realized what the characters were about to do but the chapter ends and the next starts like the next day. Now its not descriptive (using more flowery language than factual. No matter how many words nouns you use. a dick is still a dick) but again if you know what they're doing its way more sexual and rarely it fades to black. On a smaller scale there's more descriptive violence and gore too but it's mostly sex and sexual themes. There's also series that start as YA but grow more adult. Like a court of thorns and roses and throne of glass both by Sarah J Maas. The first books are YA and marketed as such, but the series grows smuttier and more violent. I die a little inside each time i see acotar in ya because even the second book (a court of mist and fury) is way more sexual than acotar and not really appropriate for young teens. Of course, anyone of any age can read YA literature but it needs to stay appropriate for its age group. A romance can end with the characters being together but not having a sex scene, sex isn't everything in a relationship.

I was to reiterate that there's nothing wrong with romance books that are smutty, but they need to be properly tagged as NA (New Adult, 18+) NA books are aye okay to contain graphic sex, violence, and gore. I'm just tired of picking up books that are marketed as YA then having to read a scene that's way too spicy for this genre. Bring back fade to black for the love of God.

[highladyluck]

Vorkosigan Saga Readalikes

I was going to wait to write this until I had three options, but I haven't yet thought of a third series that really gives me those Vorkosigan Vibes, and I don't want to sit on these any longer. Both the Earth Girl series and the Merchant Princes series remind me of the Vorkosigan Saga in various ways.

It's some combo of similar themes, characters, setting, multiple installments, and compulsive readability. Like with the Vorkosigan saga, I eventually lost the ability to wait for friends/the library to deliver the sequels to me, and I ended up buying later installments/the whole series on my ereader so I could have them on-demand.

Vorkosigan Saga…but YA The Earth Girl series by Janet Edwards

2788. Only the handicapped live on Earth. Eighteen-year-old Jarra is among the one in a thousand people born with an immune system that cannot survive on other planets. Sent to Earth at birth to save her life, she has been abandoned by her parents. She can’t travel to other worlds, but she can watch their vids, and she knows all the jokes they make.

Jarra is a historian-in-training with a lot of experience excavating ruins on Earth, who joins a class of newbie offworld students under false pretenses, basically to show them up and get proxy revenge on the galactic society that's made her a second-class citizen. Then the false military background she concocts for herself- and the relationships she makes with her classmates- turn out to be more real than she ever intended.

Like Miles, Jarra is desperate to prove herself and does all sorts of stupidly heroic nonsense. Her disability is maybe even more of a cultural construct than Miles's is, while still having enormous influence on her psyche, childhood and career goals. The military in this series, which Jarra hero-worships, is (now) strictly a space exploration/terraforming force.

Hilariously, this series also has a Beta (sector) with a cultural tradition of looser sexual mores/trio marriages. There's also a sort of 'second career' arc for Jarra that's very satisfying, after you get lots and lots of fun and suspenseful archeological excavations (I'm not being sarcastic, they're fascinating!) The secondary cast is also really interesting, and there are installments in the series that explore their backstories and post-Jarra paths.

I read this as an adult (it was a tumblr rec!) and thoroughly enjoyed it, so I would absolutely recommend it to adult Vorkosigan Saga fans. It is firmly in the YA bucket in terms of being a coming-of-age story, so you could also gift it to somebody who might be too young for the Vorkosigan Saga and its' bucket-o-content-warnings, but who you otherwise think would love Miles. (This is not really a Vorkosigan similarity, but I also want to give the series a shoutout for realistic-seeming teen slang, which is harder to do well than you'd think.)

Vorkosigan Saga…with extra Cordelia please The Merchant Princes series by Charles Stross

By the time we meet them at the dawn of the 21st century the Clan of five families who by careful arrangement can produce offspring who world-walk [to parallel universes] have become, in their home world, richer than Croesus. But all this wealth comes at a cost, and envious eyes are watching them just as a business journalist in Boston loses her job and discovers a family heirloom that topples her straight into a cliché that can only end badly in real life: the orphan who discovers she’s the long lost daughter of a noble house, and the subject of all their expectations.

Miriam Beckstein reminds me of Cordelia- a high-tech, driven woman who suddenly finds herself enmeshed with a group of literally feudal relations and embroiled in their political/personal schemes. Like Cordelia, she also sets out on a modernization process for her adopted culture(s), although she has less oblique strategies at her disposal than Cordelia does.

There is also a thematic focus on genetics in this series, and some of the power dynamics connected to that are explored in even greater detail than in the Vorkosigan Saga. The world-walkers have a complex arrangement of arranged marriages to keep the genetic ability to teleport to other timelines, and so like on Barrayar (and Cetaganda), the grandmothers who arrange these marriages are the ones really running the genetic show. (There's also a similar plot thread of 'culturally traumatic nuclear bombings'.)

My favorite part of this series is the latter half, when Miriam meets a political dissident in yet another alternate timeline and works with him to transform his world, and hers in the bargain. If you wanted to see Cordelia winning on a faster timeline, you'll love Miriam and her 30-year plan. There's also a sequel series that explores another member of the family, which has a lot of spy thriller elements and a lesbian romance. (Not going to say too much there, because spoilers.)

My spouse says this series is too 'of its time' for him to really enjoy it, by which he means that the ultimate villain is Evil Mastermind Dick Cheney. This doesn't bother me, but I mention this in case you, too, think Evil Mastermind Dick Cheney is a somewhat dated plot element from the vantage point of 2023. It's definitely more of a Cordelia-and-Aral readalike than a Miles readalike, although the sequel series has some superficial similarities to the introduction of Mark, now that I think about it!

I hope this gives you some new books to check out, all 10 of you Vorkosigan fans that might see this.

[xjulixred45x]

I hope I don't make you uncomfortable but do you write smut?

I'm sorry but I don't feel comfortable writing Smut and I don't think I will for a LONG time. It's just not my style. I can enjoy writing, but I can't write it myself.

I can write some non-safe for work stuff like Yandere and strong themes, but not explicit sexual content.

Hope it's understandable.

(I'll take advantage and leave this here)

Things I DO Write:

-Yandere, blood in general.

-Fluff, OC's, Angst, comfort, etc.

-multiple characters.

-topics such as depression or suicide, anxiety, and mental health in general (BE SPECIFIC)

-Poly

Things I DON'T write:

-SMUT or anything sexually explicit

- Explicit age regression (it makes me uncomfortable)

-more than 4(four) characters

- underage reader x OLDER character

- any racist, homophobic shit, etc.

------------

(ESPAÑOL)

lo siento pero no me siento comoda escribiendo Smut y no creo que me sienta comoda en un LARGO tiempo. simplemente no es mi estilo. puedo disfrutar de la escritura, pero no puedo escribirla yo misma.

puedo escribir algunas cosas no safe for work como Yandere y tematicad fuertes, pero no contenido sexual explicito.

espero se entienda.

(ya aprovecho y dejo esto aca)

cosas que SI hago:

-Yandere, sangre en general.

-Fluff, OC's, Angst, comfort, etc.

-multiples personajes(4)

-tematicas como deprecion o suicidio, ansiedad, y salud mental en general(SEAN ESPECÍFICOS)

-Poly

Cosas que NO hago

-SMUT o cualquier cosa sexualmente explicita

- Regresión de edad explicita(me es incomodo)

- lector menor de edad x personaje MAYOR DE EDAD

-mas de 4 personajes.

- cualquier mierda racista, homofica, etc.

[wo-onu]

Is it cool to request Haejoon’s reaction to his crush who is a friend to him, seeking advice on confessing to someone they love who is not him? It’s fine to do a headcanon or a oneshot, it’s up to you :)

thank you so much for requesting, starburst777 ♡ this was a fun request to write because it’s cool to explore just how unhinge my ocs can be. i hope this is to your liking! if there’s anything else, don’t hesitate to tell me ♡ [also sorry it took some time to post/answer ㅠㅡㅠ]

╰₊✧ ﾟ⚬𓂂➢ [haejoon character profile]

* ・✦⇢ contents :: yandere!oc with a darling who wants to confess to someone else [hcs + scenarios] 1.9k

* ・✦⇢ warnings/cw :: general yandere themes, manipulative behaviour, slight coercion.

* ・✦⇢ additional notes :: can be read as gender neutral. no particulars were described.

* :: [important ! the use of -ah in one’s name can determine closeness or affection towards another person. usually used by an older gen but people close in age or the same age friend groups also use as a way of casual speaking.

* saying ya/yah (an informal way of saying hey) is considered rude when saying to an older person even if they’re only a year older or even someone who has a higher rank than you (eg. if you’re superior or any sunbae at a workplace is younger than you, formal speech will still apply to them even if they’re younger)

* sunbae = senior , hoobae = junior]

* :: likes/reblogs and feedbacks are always appreciated! my ask is open for reqs~

ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊ࠢ࠘𐡏~ ☆゜haejoon with a darling who wants to confess to someone else !

ʚ ﹒ ﹕ ̟乀 kang haejoon !

* `✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ in this scenario, it will be more hypothetical and just talks about confessing to someone. it was sort of the aftermath of your break up with someone; haejoon and you were alone in a club room, waiting for everyone else to arrive as only the both of you had an empty schedule before club time.

* `✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ in this scenario, it will be more hypothetical and just talks about confessing to someone. it was sort of the aftermath of your break up with someone; haejoon and you were alone in a club room, waiting for everyone else to arrive as only the both of you had an empty schedule before club time.

“sunbae, have you ever dated?” haejoon’s expression remained calm; however, if you looked closely, you can see that his pupils were shaking. he was stuck because he once read in some sort of self help book that talking about your past relationships with a person you’re interested with will never be a good thing. mind going about a hundred miles per second, he settled on honesty. if it was anyone else, he’d bury it and take it to his grave, instead, it was you. you will appreciate his honestly more than any sort of falseness.

“huh... well, not really? honestly... it’s a bit embarrassing to say but i haven’t been with anyone at all,” he sheepishly replied. he doesn’t particularly care about having relationships because he generally don’t really see people as people, he just doesn’t know whether he will look uncool because of his inexperience in your eyes. that was his only concern.

truthfully, if he hadn’t memorised you, he might think you’re finally gaining an interest in him. but he has to remind himself over and over— albeit, only in his own head— that this is you. you’re not asking because you see him as a potential love interest, you’re only asking because of pure curiosity.

he was proven right moments later when you told him, “i’ve been thinking... about relationships and stuff”

with an aching heart, despite trying to convince himself he didn’t have any expectations anyway, he could only reply with a soft “oh yeah? lets hear it, [name]-ah”

“hm... i was thinking, i thought that back then, romantic relationships were very important. but now that i’ve experienced it, it just feels like... every other relationship. um, how do i say this....” he only looks at you, encouraging you to continue with a rare small smile.

“whether it’s friendships, relationships, or whatever... anyways, it’s just like any other person to person type of relationship, nothing more and nothing less? just like... how i try to be considerate and somehow mindful towards people i consider friends or family, a romantic partnership is TJE same. so that... i couldn’t just accept anyone’s confessions just because i thought i wouldn’t be able to date in this lifetime...” as you say that, haejoon’s eyes widen just a tiny bit, and for some reason, you could see relief on his face. you continued, “and also... you know too, right sunbae? everyone always says i’m too pessimistic and that i do not know how to love someone... i just thought if i get into a relationship... it may not seem that way as much anymore.”

“so, you’re saying that you accepted because you thought this was your only chance? and it wasn’t that you liked him?”

“well... yea? i guess i had a positive feeling about him somewhat for me to accept him right?”

“hm... then, wasn’t that just because you were dating him in name?”

a pregnant pause came as you could only gape as you ponder over your sunbae’s words. it wasn’t entirely impossible. in fact, if you were being honest, it was more possible than it was impossible.

“perhaps... i was really curious about what it was like dating because everyone kept making a fuss about it. it felt like i only liked the title so i... huh”

“well, it’s a bit of a shock,” he reached out to play with the ends of your hair, a sly smile on his lips, “worrying that nobody will like you...” he paused, seemingly shy.

“if you ever want anyone, just have me. go come to me,”

“what the... sunbae! are you tempted by me too? eyyy~ don’t be like that, it’s exhausting to be this wanted~”

haejoon burst into a fit of laughter, holding onto your shoulders as he laughed soundlessly, body shaking.

“well, why not~ let’s go build an empire together once you graduate~”

“....sunbae, on the other hand, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea. i want to establish a good company, too.”

“right? doesn’t it sound nice?”

present

* `✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ in this instance, if you love someone who is not haejoon, he will honestly gaslight you to hell just so you will think and convince yourself otherwise.

* `✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ if he was just a bit more sane and normal, he would’ve let you experience those things and let you go. but haejoon has long since realised that he’s not exactly normal and that he’s not exactly willing to let you go, despite never having the guts to confess. however, no other people are allowed. this time, he’s not willing to let you go roam and explore those type of feelings if not with him.

* `✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ reuniting with you made him so, so happy. and in his mind, if this isn’t fate, then what is? therefore, he decided that he’s ready to own you completely. after all, he’s let you spread your wings enough all these years, no? but what are you suddenly talking about... having feelings for someone else? loving someone else? why do you have to go and think such useless things when you have him?

“sunbae,” you were hanging out with haejoon, it’s been a few months since both of you has reunited. and if you’re being honest, you were slightly disappointed in yourself that you let the contact between the two of you vanish once he graduated.

with a quiet hum, he turned to you, head tilted.

“um... this might sound weird but... may i ask for your thoughts?”

“always,”

a slight awkwardness filled you, you’re unsure how to receive your sunbae’s boundless affection towards you. now that you’re aware that he has always looked out for you instead of what you originally had thought of him trying to bother you then, you don’t know how to make it up to him. not that he wanted you to, but knowing that just doubles the mix of guilt and gratefulness you felt towards him.

“i just wanted to get your advice on something...” you looked away, fiddling with your fingers anxiously.

“anything,” he said with a slight smile.

“you see... i think... this time, i’ve... finally... f-fallen for someone,” your face was calm, however, haejoon could notice the slight flush and shyness you’re feeling. gripping the end of your sleeves, you look at him expectantly.

haejoon’s mind was working harder than ever before. truthfully, his time away from you should’ve dulled his feelings and yet, here he is: he didn’t think it was possible for him to have such a devastating devotion towards you even more now, but he was proven wrong the day he met you once again. of course, it wasn’t like he was totally unprepared for that. not when his hired informants had told him that you’re frequently in that area. that’s right, your accidental reunion wasn’t so accidental, after all. if need be, he will make it your absolute fate to be tied to him one way or another.

“you think?” a pause, “hmm... based on my observations ever since we’ve met again, you don’t seem so in love though? ya, my precious hoobae~ won’t you trust this sunbae who knows you more than anyone, hm?”

“oh. is that so?” you slight frown, unconvinced. you were quite a self aware person, but it is also quite true that your sunbae knows you more than anyone you know, probably even yourself. what if you’re just convincing yourself of liking someone just to prove you can once again?

“it might not be the case but... i want you to be absolutely sure, since you are such a precious person to me,” he smiled, clutching your hands as if to relay his sincerity.

“that’s true too... but sunbae, if my feelings are serious, you will support me right? i mean, i don’t know about these things and since you’re also a guy... it might help getting your perspective.”

“yes, of course. i’ll gladly help my [yn]-ah with everything.”

“thanks... i feel strangely comforted with that,”

haejoon beamed, happy that you feel at ease with him now. back then, it was so hard even just getting a meal or being alone with you. he could feel the alertness and wariness in your entire body. you hid it well but never from him; to him you were like a hissing cat that you yourself seem to adore. but now, it felt like you truly have warmed up to him and even initiate closing the gap between the two of you.

if that was the case, how could he ever let himself allow anyone else to have you now? even if it is your will, he simply can’t allow such a thing to happen. not again. if you truly wanted to confess, a little threat to that useless person will be easy. after that, he will be your only support through the inevitable heartbreak it will cause. he also has the option to send that bastard far, far away. he knows you might not be willing to start a long distance relationship, especially if it’s something new.

he ran every single possible scenario in his head and calculated that no matter what, it will be a win for him. therefore, all he did was caress your hands a little.

“[yn]-ah... you haven’t forgotten have you?” lost in your own self-reflection, his voice brought you back to life.

“hm, yes? yeah?”

“i told you before, right?” there was something strangely seductive in his eyes, mouth slightly curved into a smile, “if you want to have anyone, just come to me. you can have me,” instead of the unworthy people that seems to hover around you.

“what...” a dumbfounded pause, “what are you talking about again?!”

“once you find out your real intentions and it turns out you just want someone, don’t go far... just come to me, hm?”

“but...”

“you dislike it? you don’t like the thought of having me?”

“ya! ... this sunbae, don’t say terrible things.. seriously. it’s not that... it’s just,”

ignoring your informal speech despite using honourifics he tried convincing you even further, “i am far more trustworthy than any guy you’ve ever met,”

“that’s debatable,” you jest

“this rude... anyway. you don’t dislike it, right? i don’t think i’m quite a bad catch... although you’re the only girl who’s ever really been not afraid of me... you know it too right? i also don’t have any romantic experience because people are too wary of my background and... my personality.”

“sunbae... has everyone realised your two face? well, you do have quite a terrible personality,”

while it’s true that he was lacking proper dating experience; it was not because of others but him. he had everyone throwing themselves at him so it wasn’t hard to get anyone. he also has a face everyone liked. however, all he could offer those people was a good time in bed to release all his pent up stress. he will never be in a useless relationship when his end goal has always been belonging with you.

“yes, yes. but this time, i really mean it. you know i won’t ever joke about these things right?”

“hmm”

“come on, [yn]-ah. this has never changed back then, it won’t change now.”

“well...”

“let’s date, hm?”

[acoupofowls]

Submissions now open for the first print anthology from our small independent press! Submissions close 30th November!

Other & Different

Encompassing a variety of styles and genres, Other & Different will feature stories focused on the theme of other and/or different - however writers wish to interpret that. This anthology will include only adult (18+) creators from marginalised and/or underrepresented communities or backgrounds.

FANFIC WRITERS ENCOURAGED!! SCRUBBED FANFICS WELCOME!

Born on the wrong side of the tracks? The only human in a robot society? A historical romance between unexpected lovers? What is otherness to you? What makes something or someone different? What does it mean not to belong? How do they fit in the world, how do they see it?

Tell us what is other, what is different.

Depending on the length and fit of selected stories, we are anticipating that this anthology will include between 13 and 20 short stories.

Submissions Open: 15th October - 30th November 2022 Publication: April 2023. Please query us if you’ve not had a response to your submission by the end of January 2023 Word Count: 1000 minimum, 4000 word maximum - hard limits Rating: up to and including R/18+ NO Reprints, NO Simultaneous Submissions, NO multiple submissions Payment: £15 per accepted story.

Who should submit - Please ONLY SUBMIT IF:

you are aged 18 or over

you belong to an underrepresented or marginalised community. These include, but are not limited to: LGBTQIA+, BIPOC, neurodiverse and people with disabilities. Whilst we also love stories about diverse characters, it is not compulsory that your story feature them.

We will be donating the profits from both pre-orders and the first six months of sales from release to the North American non-profit Rainbow Railroad and UK charity Rainbow Migration equally.

Rainbow Railroad is a global not-for-profit organization that helps LGTBQI+ people facing persecution based on their sexual orientation, gender identity and sex characteristics. In a time when there are more displaced people than ever before, LGBTQI+ people are uniquely vulnerable due to systemic, state-enabled homophobia and transphobia. These factors either displace them in their own country or prevent them from escaping harm.

Rainbow Migration is a UK based charity that supports lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer and intersex (LGBTQI+) people through the UK asylum and immigration system.

Submission Guidelines under the cut and more details on our website: A Coup of Owls

Submission Guidelines for Print Anthologies:

Format: Please submit your work in a readable manuscript format, such as the Shunn format. Upload your file as either a doc or docx, with the file name [story title] by [author name]. Before submitting please check out our Style Guide. 

Content Restrictions: 

The work must be original. If retelling an existing story please ensure this is wholly your own work and that the source material is out of copyright (for example, fairy tales, The Great Gatsby, etc)

We welcome scrubbed fanfiction, however it must work as an original piece and not infringe on copyright (see our FAQs)

Complete works only, no excerpts or serials

We only accept stories aimed at an adult readership. By this we mean that we do not accept children's stories or YA, not that the work must be explicit in nature

Rating: We accept all ratings, including and up to R/18+. However, we do not publish plotless erotica. Strong sexual content is acceptable as long as it fits within the story and is not gratuitous. 

We do accept strong violence and dark themes, depending on the context within the story. These will be considered on a case by case basis. Please feel free to query us before submitting.

Restrictions on bigotry and hate speech:

We do not accept bigotry in any form. Please do not send us stories that are, or glorify, discrimination based on race, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, gender, age or disability. 

We may consider stories that feature these things but do not glorify them. For example, we may accept a story that features a character experiencing racism or homophobia, depending on the context within the story and its resolution. This will be considered on a case by case basis, please feel free to query us before submitting.

​Simultaneous submissions: No simultaneous submissions. Please do not submit to us something that is currently under consideration elsewhere. Please do not submit the same piece you have sent us anywhere else while we are considering it.

Multiple submissions: For our print anthologies we do not accept multiple submissions.

Reprints: We do not accept reprints.

Exclusivity: Payments will be made subject to a signed contract which states that A Coup of Owls is purchasing first world publishing rights with six months exclusivity. If reprinted after those six months, authors should note in future publications where the story was first published. Author maintains copyright to their work.

[thevagabondexpress]

this is about the magister being tsc's most twisted villain and it's also about inopportune lust: some issues a tsc fan has with tsc, pt. vi

Note: this one deals with a fairly heavy theme, relating to consent. No use of the r word itself but just know.

I don't need think I need explain just what makes the Magister TSC's most twisted villain (in my opinion). I don't want to and shouldn't have to go into detail about just what kind of disgusting, disturbing, perverted, and definitely not consensual thing the Magister was planning to do to Tessa Gray, much less the fact that he was planning this since before she was even born.

Granted, I understand why this one kind of can't be acknowledged by the canon. TID's Young Adult/Youth/Teen-Content rating won't really allow Cassandra Clare to fully acknowledge the gravity of a plan centred around assault, forced marriage, and forced childbirth. So my issue here isn't really with the fans, or with the author. It's primarily with TSC's Young Adult rating. It makes it hard to acknowledge the reality of how the characters experienced it. What they went through. And what kind of lasting trauma they must carry with them.

That being said, Cassandra Clare brushes off trauma and grief far more quickly than she should. I'm asexual so that colors my viewing of the series but I can't imagine that, in Tessa Gray's situation, physical intimacy would have been at all easy during the events of the third book of the series. I imagine, if this were the real world, Tessa might have needed weeks or months before she could feel comfortable, even though she was rescued before any unwanting hands could be laid on her. The fact that she goes to bed with Will while still trapped in Cadair Idris just makes no sense. And they're far from the only TSC couple to have made love or thought about it during disjointedly untimely circumstances (say, while grieving a close loved one's death).

As usual, I don't claim to have all the answers. I'm not saying, "I want [insert fix] instead." I do that when I write fanfiction. I don't need or want to do it here. I'm just trying to understand my own personal pet peeves with a series that (despite my many pet peeves) I personally love. But it'd be nice to get a little recognition for how difficult TSC's YA rating makes properly handling and recognizing the difficult topics it sometimes touches on. And I hope that if we do get that TID TV series people keep talking about, they age the protagonists up so we can deal with the story's themes a little less hazily.

"some issues a tsc fan sees in tsc" is an attempt to break down the unacknowledged things in tsc that i unearthed reading chain of thorns, rereading the rest of the series in preparation for it, and writing two longform fanfics (one of them a genderbent canon reworking) for the last hours. click on the "some issues..." tag to see more of these.

[matoitech]

what exactly do you mean by beastars is Weird? like there are definitely some themes that can have creepy (mis)interpretations but overall it’s just pretty standard YA fiction?

misinterpretation is generous lol. anyway i did mention it’s been too long since i read it to feel rly solid w criticizing it but im definitely not going to reread it in order to do that better. tbh i feel like i don’t rly have to list out specific instances of it being weird bcuz it’s rly blatant if ur older than like. a high schooler. but a lot of stuff in it was weirdly sexualized, the authors fetishes r just blatantly present constantly. i think the characters started out as high school students? which didnt come off that bad to me when i WAS that age but looking backn its weird as an adult, to put it LIGHTLY. a lot of the content present that i can remember was gross to be showing through characters that were high schoolers. it tries to be serious and mature but anything the auhtor threw in that needed to be handled well was handled terribly. like so much of the worldbuilding.. and the villain being a csa survivor? just on screen and super uncomfortabley for NO reason. this is just grazing stuff i can remember, i think theres a lot more to be said about the probably accidental but still There eugenics thing that was implemented by how the mixed species furry characters were handled

[ame-sea]

hellooooo i could guess u r may had gotten an ask for sealnand (if not- what !!!!!!) so maybe...... ☝ sweden and/or ladonia ofr the bingo? sniles so sweetly 😁

SEALAND ( u didnt ask for it but im giving him to you )

i have talked about him in detail the last few days but! he is literally my favorite character in the entire world of all time. there is not a day that i dont think about him. ive cosplayed him six billion times. i cry when his awful character songs come on because i get so positively overwhelmed. he means the entire world to me. when i was at my lowest i would think about him and it was genuinely life saving. nobody loves him like i do. he is my world. my lifeblood. my everything. in the most not normal way possible. i went through the hardest childhood ever and then seeing a child character in a rough situation be so headstrong and aggressively determined to live and prosper and get what he wants was so life changing for me that it fundamentally changed who i was as a person.

i ADORE sealand. canon and fanon. there are some fanon interpretations that piss me off but usually i am so not picky because that is my little guy, my baby, and i am just so glad that he was included. i love that people play with various ages for him, various senses of maturity, various situations and responsibilities. he is at such a flexible age, and the common theme of growing up is so prominent with him, that he works no matter where you throw him in time.

i do wish people made him more of a troublemaker, though! he doesnt get enough love for this to be a prominent thing but i dream of the day of seeing him get up to mischief and shenanigans. i have this idea of him and prussia dicking around at world meetings together and neither of them are supposed to be there. let him have more friends, let him talk to more than sufin + nordics + uk. he would absolutely go door to door pitching for recognition. he would get up to so many funny little things. put up fliers around the world about buying a title on his website. call world leaders to ask their opinions of him. get in fights online about himself.

i know some people hate putting characters in bad situations, but i think he makes for such an interesting character in bad situations. the same way the hunger games, and dystopian ya novels, are so interesting. putting a child in adult situations and making them manage growing up and facing the world and how to incorporate and change their current beliefs about the world is Awesome. he is so determined and has such a strong desire to Live that it is fun to think about what it would take to crush it, but it is also so inspiring to watch it thrive. it means so much to see him live through adversity. i love him. i love him so dearly.

LADONIA

HE GETS NOT ENOUGH LOVE AT ALL. so pathetic, so funny. him and sealand make such awesome foils. i love their rivalry. he is like an angry little wet cat. desperate for approval but embarrassed so easily, what a funny little creature. i dont have many complex thoughts about him (i used to have more but they have been forgotten to time) but i do love him dearly and i think the irl ladonia is funny as hell. i love the micronations and i am desperately starved for more content about them, canon and fanworks both. but nobody loves me enough to do it and im too damn busy to do it myself. :(

[awritingcaitlin]

About me!

My name is Caitlin! I love cats, and they're my writing buddies often. When I'm not writing, I'm curating one of dozens of playlists, making aesthetics for my WIPs, or playing a video game. Currently it's still Tears of the Kingdom because there's just so much to do!

More under the cut!

I've been writing since sometime in elementary school. I completed my first manuscript in high school (a YA magic school novel) and tried to query it. It did not go over well, largely because I didn't actually edit it! (But also because I was floundering with no idea what I was doing with subgenres, similar titles, if my opening pages were the issue, if the query was the issue, if the agent I queried actually repped that category and genre... etc.) (Do not be me.) I may one day return to it, but for now I'm content to let that one stay on the shelf.

I ended up burning myself up over the project unfortunately. After that, I was in college where most of my writing was fanfiction for one of five different fandoms. (Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasies 7 and 8, Dragon Age, and Undertale.) I did NaNo a couple of stories, but never actually made it as far as querying again until much later.

Currently, my co-writer and I are revising an adult epic fantasy about marines on a mission, magical brainwashing, and a sorceress who walks the line between trying to stop the religious fanatics but also not painting a target on her back.

I had been trying to revise that alongside my fantasy heist novel, but there's too many different plotlines (not to mention characters that are in both but 5 years removed from each other) to keep track of for that to work. I can do edits and draft at the same time, but I can't draft two things at the same time unless they're a different genre. Or heavily revise two things at the same time.

I first dipped my toes into writing in elementary school. I would take composition notebooks lying around the house and fill them with stories. I vividly remember my first written story about two girls from a medieval time who got sent to the present day, but they kept trying to go back in time so they could save their mom. I've since lost that composition notebook, but if I ever wanted to rewrite that based on vibes alone I probably could.

My mom always supported me and wanted to read what I wrote. It was really easy to share stuff with her as a kid and a teenager who didn't feel particularly embarrassed about my work. Even as an adult, writing adult books with adult themes, I kind of just go "fuck it." She's an adult, who makes her own choices.

I've always been drawn to writing fantasy. I love the appeal of swords and magic (mostly magic.) I like writing epic motifs where the characters are up against seemingly impossible odds and are able to overcome. I like interweaving "real world" issues into fantasy too. Because queerness and disability is not something that only exists IRL.

I love writing characters who are bigger than themselves - people who find their magic spark; people who rise to the challenge; power so deep it's barely understandable but people try anyway; a pantheon of gods who doesn't know what they're doing and end up as characters in their own right. I love weaving in storylines, making connections, dropping in references. Etc.

I am really good at dialogue. I love writing it and it shows. Exploring how characters interact with each other is honestly one of my favorite things to do and dialogue is one of the biggest extensions of that.

To be honest, sometimes, all I have is dialogue that I throw up on a page and have to fill it out with actions and descriptions later. Sometimes, it all comes at once. A lot of it depends on where I am when the dialogue strikes me. If I'm on a bike ride or in the shower, I'll get a back-and-forth dialogue in a vacuum that I have to flesh out. This can also happen when I'm on the computer, but usually, if the dialogue is coming to me while I'm already at my computer, it's also coming with actions.

As far as outlining and researching goes, I usually start drafting and then come up with an outline of where I want it to go or plot points I want to include. At one point, I did an entire zero draft for a YA contemporary, which contributed to me writing 80k in five weeks. Still not 100% sure how I manged that in the end. But, for the most part, I have an outline that I'm drafting from, then I get a shiny idea and work to include it, so I adjust my outline and begin writing again... and then this process repeats near-on indefinitely until the end of the book. So my project folders start looking like this:

I'm one of those people though who, more often than not, will come up against a question I have while drafting, and be unable to continue until I've answered the question. I probably should get better about putting notes in brackets or footnotes and coming back to it, but at the same time, I don't think it's terribly detrimental to my process to take an evening off as a research evening. I've learned some pretty interesting stuff this way. (That said! I'm better about footnotes this current draft as me and my co-writer figure things out.)

One of the best things about writing is when I have readers telling me that they loved it. Or that they laughed. Or that they felt things. I might enjoy drinking readers' tears as they tell me I'm a terrible person for doing horrible things to their favorite character.

Writing scratches that creative itch. It makes me feel whole and complete. On the flip side, when I'm having trouble writing because of real life... I feel upset and anxious.

If I could manifest anything into the publishing world, it's a nine-book series out of this with spinoffs to expand the world indefinitely. (Why worldbuild more than once?) It might not be the most feasible thing ever, but I can dream.

If you've made it this far, have some writing advice. Which is basically... find what advice works for you and do that. Also, what works for you might not work in six months. Don't be afraid to change it up. If writing 2k words a day is super feasible because you cleared the whole month of November, great! But come December if you're feeling burnt out, it's okay to only write 100 words a day... or even take a break altogether and let your creative juices refill. If writing in the mornings works great in the summer but writing in the afternoons is better in the winter, do that! You, the writer, the creator, is more important than some arbitrary goal. (Unless you have a contracted deadline, in which case, may all the motivation be at your disposal!)