#YAY ANGST TIME

[wickedcriminal]

wait how did drago react to little hiccup being able to be controlled by the bewilderbeast

By grabbing that poor sucker by the scruff and letting the Bewilderbeast mind control him 😭 the ideal slave right in snatching distance.

With Minicup mind controlled, it meant he could be the one to fly the Mind Controlled Big Tooth to Berk, since I sincerely doubt Drago could figure out how to operate Tooth's complicated tail fin in that moment. Get Minicup on there, he's had years of experience! Win-win for Drago, lose-lose for LITERALLY everyone else.

Of course, this means that Hiccup the Elder, right after his father died, has not only lost his best friend to Drago, but his little brother too.

[screampied]

TOJI CONFESSED FIRST LMAOOOOO heartthrob and pussythrob frreal

YEHEHEHE THANK YOU FOR READING 😋

it gets worse

[summershouto]

why cant you break up like normal people why'd you have to get everybody involved

[bahrtofane]

promises under the stars - jude pov

Jude never meant to replace you. But that's how it ended up isn't it. There's no one to blame but himself, no one behind each and every decision that now has him standing at the end of an aisle, waiting for his bride. A bride that isn't you. 

highly highly recommend reading this fic first. or else it kinda doesnt make a whole lot of sense on its own. then come back here. this is kinda like a part 2? kinda

shout out to this anon for this idea ! hope you like it

word count - 2.1K+

watch it - well angst, yet again. pregnancy talks the works. sorry if i used ur name for his wife xoxo. enjooyyy

p.s. - shout out to @anadiasmount for the inspo to create the image at the end ! go read all her stuff yall so good

—————-

He thinks the moment it all comes crumbling down is when he gets word of you getting mobbed. After you've just been to Madrid with him. And he can't do anything about it but send security and hope it doesn't get out of hand. 

He expects you to give up right then and there, curse him and wish for him to have nothing to do with your life again. But you don't. You can never bring yourself to blame him. To hate him.

Then comes your whole family suing him for something completely out of his control. Fresh after your father has threatened him, this is just what they need to come after him legally. 

It's okay because they don't win. Of course they don't. How stupid do you have to be to try and sue for going on vacation for someone you love. He wants to call you every step of the way. But his lawyer warns against it. So he doesn't. And you’re left in the dark.

Do you even know that they've tried to sue?

He can guess what you're thinking. He knows you too well. You think this is him taking an exit from his life. He doesn't want it to be this way. Maybe its for the best after all he finds himself thinking. Back to the thoughts of letting you go for your good as much as his. 

But like most things in life, things get muddy. 

He spends his time in a whirlwind of emotions, all leading back to you. He can not go more than an hour without you in his mind. 

Even if his texting habits dont show it, he wants to talk to you every second of every day. Do you remember when he would call you to complain about the mundane. When he stubbed his toe, or drank out of his mind, pressing his nose against the screen trying to feel you against him. 

Things have changed. He’s no longer the same youthful Jude with a penchant for recklessness. Taking day trips to see you, skirting around paparazzi and your families just to have a moment together.

He misses you, but he’s scared to reach out again. So he remains silent and an onlooker to your life. 

Funny isn't it. World class player with more money than he knows what to do with is scared to text you in fear of what your families will say or do. 

And yet, he can’t stay away for long can he. His resolve breaks on your birthday. Months and years have gone by. Legal cases are drawn out go figure. And he's been so busy with games every few days and events he can never say no too. When he gets home his bones ache, only finding the strength to clean himself up and go to bed. 

When he calls you he realizes maybe it's too late. That waiting for things to blow over have left a gap in your time together. He knows nothing but memories. Your life eludes him. He tries to go back truly, but seeing your story while you're out with friends, smiling- actually smiling. He thinks he better not intrude. 

His mother isn't helping one bit. She's come to the conclusion that the only way to move on and get your family off his back for good is to just move on. Find a “nice sensible girl” she says, smiling.  

Jude doesn't want to. It makes him sick. Kicking and screaming the whole way about it. It’s not a bad idea in theory. Pretend to date someone. Your family gets off his back his family of yours boom you can be happy together again. 

So he can learn who you are again. Find a way into your life. Do you still tilt your head when you're confused? He needs to get back to you. He can't let someone like you leave. He doesn’t just love you, he’s fascinated with the person you’ve grown into. 

The thought of you with anyone else makes him sick. He still loves you, and he makes himself believe that the same is true. 

If only right.

He meets Kaylie in the dead of winter. At a sponsorship event that he completely forgets about and shows up an hour late to. He looks around trying to find his agent but before he can even say his usual rounds of hellos he spots his mother standing with a blonde who clutches her necklace to her chest while she laughs.

This is the start of his own nightmare.

He comes back around when he knows he has to. After taking his sweet time talking to everyone. He tries to look for help to get out of the encounter but it's already too late. His mother is flagging him down. So he walks over, already sweating. 

His mother all but pushes them together. 

“What a couple you two are.” she beams, hands clasped together. 

He gives a tight lipped smile and tries to wiggle his way out the awkward slew of introductions Kaylie gives of herself. But his mother gives him a look, grabbing into his arm and making stand and listen. 

There's a look in his mothers eye, he knows what it means. This is the woman that's supposed to replace you. He feels sick. 

——-

Along the way he thinks that maybe this is what's best for him. For you. 

His family all love Kaylie. And she's sweet enough.

Nothing like you, dragging him into different clubs while you linked arms to get ice cream at the same time.

He finds it hard to keep up with her. Her life is fast paced, more so than his. Every time he calls she's in a different country it seems, catching flights and going to fancy resorts.

You never minded a quiet night in. Its what you loved, being able to exist with him. 

Most of all she doesnt know him. She knows Jude Bellingham. The player, the figure, the celebrity. She doesn't know that he has a bad habit of touching his ears when he's nervous, how his eyes go wide at praise and teasing. How without a hundred reminders and alarms he truly would be late for everything. You always helped getting him to things on time.

When you were both awkward pre teens struggling to make sense of the world, you’d stop by his house to make sure he wouldn’t miss the bus. Sitting next to him on the beaten leather seats, and spitting facts you learned the day before. 

He always listened. He still would today. 

He doesn't think Kaylie’s noticed anything about him. She spends most of their time together taking pictures and flaunting him around. He pretends it doesn't bother him. Is the peace even worth it at this point?

She doesn't know how much he loves making little daisy chains, how much he loved putting them in your hair when you were kids. You’d throw a fit, but he never missed the look in your eyes when his fingers would swoop down to settle them gently. 

Kaylie is beautiful. But she's not beautiful like you. She may have an expensive taste for clothes that allows her to put together a stunning outfit for any occasion, cleavage on display while she pouts her lips and bats her eyelashes for a kiss. Kisses he never gives her. He can't. Not when he knows you wait for him. 

Sure she's great by the average man's standards. But she's not lovely like you. You could be in a trash bag and he'd still think you're the most gorgeous person on the planet. 

He thinks this whole Kaylie thing will blow over, that he'll be able to get back to you. 

And he tells her this. 

He goes through the motions, just to shut everyone up. 

Sitting her down when his mother isn’t around, “I don't love you. I will never be okay. I'm only here to get my mom off my back.”

And she laughs, flicking her hair over her shoulder, “Okay Judey whatever you say,” bracelets clanking together.

The name makes him want to hurl. “Get out of my house.”

Kaylie has got it in her head that she's here to stay. They've gotten into screaming matches because she's gotten her hands on the spare key and spends her days lounging in his house while he's away. They're not even officially dating by any means. 

And he keeps finding her in his bed, in nothing but one of his shirts. Giggling and acting coy. He's losing his patience and losing it fast. 

“Why did you give her the key.” Jude storms into his mothers house. 

She's making tea, swirling a spoon in her mug,”she's your woman isn't she. She needs one.”

“No. She's not my woman and you know that. Everyone that.”

She set the spoon down in the sink, going over to where Jude stands.

“Jude. you need to focus on what's good for you. And she wasn't good. You should be lucky that they didn't win the case. I went and told them about Kaylie and how wonderful she is. Be thankful. “

He's losing his mind. He needs to talk to you. 

He gets the chance when he's back in his hometown. And he sees you. He doesn’t think he could ever miss you, not even in a crowd. A rush of people stop him from running right to you. So instead he texts you. For the first time in ages. 

Was nice seeing you.

He hopes you can read between the lines, that you still know him well enough to understand what he really means. 

I still see you. 

For Jude is a coward. 

——

You dont reply. He forces himself to go back to what hes been forced to know.

Kaylie is all over him, hands roaming his body. There are days when he gives in. Sharing a bed with her as a cruel demented way to find some sort of release from everything that goes on around him.  The look on her face after its all set and done makes him genuinely want to punch something. A look of arrogance, like she's won something. 

And to top it all off he's been called up for England. His life gets even busier, if possible. Trying to keep up with it all proves to be grueling.

But light comes in the form of you. In the form of a single text.

Watched you play tonight. I'm proud of you.

You're proud of him? You watched him? 

The words bring him to near sobs, the light of his phone illuminating his hotel room while hes getting changed into his pjs. It's completely dark, his personal preference. And hes so happy he would fly the damn plane himself to see you. 

Before he can even think of a reply Kaylie tells him she's pregnant. Barging into his room with a little white box in hand. He thinks is some sort of congratulations for the game. Tacky card, maybe a watch. 

When he opens it, his world comes to a halt. Its a single pregnancy test.

He wants to cry. He's too young to be having kids let alone with her. It makes no sense to him. He always used protection the handful of times they did sleep together. Each time he'd only cry in the shower trying to scrub off her smell and the feeling of her touch off of him. She's only a distraction he tells himself. Too late for those words now.

It feels so wrong, so so wrong. He was supposed to be waiting for you and here he is sleeping with another woman. Who's now pregnant. He wants to vomit. 

He's in too deep now. And he can't be a deadbeat dad. 

Thoughts of you get pushed back to his mind while he scrambles to deal with the consequences of his own actions. 

When they get back to Madrid, his mother doesnt let him off easy. Screaming at him till he thinks he's popped an eardrum. And yet there's a gleam in her eyes like she's happy it all worked out this way. Doting on Kaylie and rubbing her belly (that's not even close to showing yet), and calling herself grandma already. 

The next step is obvious. He has to marry her and make it work.

So he does. An impromptu wedding that happens so fast he doesn't even hear the congratulations from everyone. He doesn't know how to break it to you so instead he posts on instagram and tries to figure out what his life has become. 

Jude is nearing 25. He has a kid on the way. He's married. He hates his wife. He hate himself.  Can you ever forgive him?

[adm-starblitzsteel-4305]

YOU GUYS...

YOU GUYS ARE CRAZY AND INSANE!!! 😭

@sassyassblog

[cherubytes]

one-sided v4v where the v2 fights are just a way to get attention but v1 doesn't care at all

[mystiquedrops]

Does the FTE even count as spoilers??? Don't think so-

But anyways

FINALLY FINISHED AFTER A DAY, CHAT !

[glee-of-ares-wrath-of-aphrodite]

Hello everyone, I know it is late but is anyone up? I... I really need someone to talk to.

[officesuppliez]

sorry. cringe ship art. I've been initiated into the william x henry cult. anyway. they're represented here by the characters they portray, as I don't really have a henry design nailed down yet.

[artiststarme]

What If Steve Were To Leave Hawkins? Part 7

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Ok so, I think the general consensus was for the angst to continue. I'm very sorry for the one person that asked for happiness. We're just not there yet, I guess. Anyways, here you guys go! As a warning, there is a poorly detailed panic attack towards the end. Enjoy!

~*~*~*~

For the next two weeks, Eddie and Steve would sit on the phone for hours a day talking to each other about both everything and nothing at all. Steve regaled Eddie with the horror stories of the coffee shop and its caffeine-addled patrons. Eddie provided him with tales of gruesome DnD deaths and the subsequent tantrums thrown by teenagers. They even start flirting through the phone calls, enough for each of the boys to blush and hiccup over their words. 

It was on one of these phone calls that Eddie finally found out exactly why Steve left. It was towards the end of one of their calls and Eddie had asked the forbidden question.

“God, I miss having you around. Why’d you have to leave, Stevie?” Eddie realized his mistake as soon as the words left his mouth. He froze in place and waited for Steve to announce his desire to never talk to him again. 

Thankfully for him, Steve just let out a sigh. He explained, “I just didn’t think anyone would care if I left. No one was around for weeks and then my parents came home. My dad didn’t want me there and no one else did either so I left.”

Eddie’s eyes widened with the new information. He thought about what we should say for a moment before speaking. “Steve, we never stopped caring about you. You started getting distant so we tried to give you some space. We were trying to help you but went about it in the wrong way. We’re sorry and we all regret it now.”

Steve let out a self deprecating laugh, “I started pulling away because I thought I made you uncomfortable. I’m sorry for that by the way. But then no one stopped me so I just… stopped trying.”

Eddie’s jaw dropped in shock. “No! You didn’t make me uncomfortable! I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable!”

“Why would I be uncomfortable?” Steve asked confusedly. “I really liked spending time with you.”

Well now Eddie felt even more guilty. But, he was already in too deep and had to land the final blow for Steve to understand. Even if it made him hate him.

“I’m gay.”

There was silence for a moment before Steve spoke. “Okay? Thank you for telling me. Why would you make me uncomfortable?”

Now it was Eddie’s turn for silence. “Um, most straight guys wouldn’t appreciate their gay friend having a crush on them.”

“You have a crush on me? And I’m not straight.”

“What? What do you mean you’re not straight? Stevie, have you been holding out on me?”

“I never said I was straight. I’ve known that I liked guys since Tommy kissed me in sixth grade. Why did you stop hanging out with me then?”

Eddie felt very confused. This conversation had spun out of control in a way he could have never anticipated. What the fuck was happening?

“Wait a second. You kissed Tommy? Hagan?”

“Yeah. If you had a crush on me, why would you stop hanging out with me?”

Eddie shook his head back and forth and tried to refocus. What was the matter at hand again? Oh yeah. “Because I was falling in love with you and I knew you wouldn’t feel the same.”

“I do feel the same! That’s why I thought you stopped wanting to hang out! Because I made you uncomfortable.”

“No! Why would I stop hanging out with you if I thought you felt the same? If I thought I had a chance in hell with Steve Harrington, I would’ve made a move!” Eddie passionately exclaimed. 

“Don’t say my name like that,” Steve laughed in disbelief. “We really messed this up, huh?”

“Yeah, I’d say. I ran you out of town, man.”

Steve smiled a shy smile in his empty apartment. “I mean, Chicago’s not that far from Hawkins. Only a couple of hours.”

Eddie’s brain malfunctioned. “Chicago?”

“Yeah. Remember when we talked about cities that day when we were high? You were right, it is a clean slate.”

“Maybe, maybe I could come visit you sometime or something,” Eddie stammered hopefully. Holy shit, he knew where he was.

“Yeah, you should. We could get dinner and you could stay the night with me.”

Eddie guffawed in surprise, “a little forward, don’t you think?”

Steve laughed in response, “I just meant you could stay in my apartment for a few days instead of driving all the way back!”

“Sure Stevie, I would love to. But-”

The trailer’s door slammed open at his words. Eddie jumped a foot in the air and let out an undignified yelp, still holding the phone in a white knuckled grasp. Dustin, Max, Lucas, and Mike were standing on the elevated porch of the trailer with murder in their eyes. “What. The. Hell.” Dustin hissed when he heard Steve’s name. 

Steve yanked the phone away from his ear and gave the receiver a confusedly concerned glance. It wasn’t the first time Eddie had screamed in his ear, the dude was impassioned, but it was the first shout not immediately followed by enraged squabbles. “Eddie, you there? Did you fall or something?”

“Fuck,” Eddie shook his head readied himself to deal with the upcoming argument. “Steve, call me back tomorrow, okay? The kids are here and they’re pissed. I gotta go.”

Steve didn’t get a chance to answer before the line disconnected. Shit, this was not going to be good. 

~*~*~*~

Eddie had been neglectful to the Party for weeks now. He’d been showing up late to Hellfire, new name yet to be determined, meetings and canceling preexisting plans for unknown reasons. The last time someone in the Party did that, their babysitter took off without telling anyone. So, the kids were understandably worried about their beloved Dungeon Master.

Dustin was at the forefront of the worry and convinced the kids of The Party, bar Will and Eleven who were having dinner at home, to check on Eddie at his trailer. They thought he might be hiding something. Really, it was only a matter of time until the rest of the Party found out about his dirty little secret. That secret being him talking to their missing babysitter without their knowledge. 

When he heard Eddie say Steve’s name into the phone, Dustin saw red. His anger only heightened when Eddie said it again when he hung up. 

“You’ve been talking to Steve and didn’t tell us?!”

Eddie sighed and raised his hands placatingly, “Dustin, I know you’re upset but-”

“I can’t believe you! We trusted you! We let you into the Party and you betrayed us!” Dustin shrieked, tears of anger building in his eyes. 

Eddie tried to defend himself but the enraged shouts of the other kids left his attempts muted in comparison. In a moment of silence, Mike took the chance to voice his dismay. 

“You should’ve told us that you were talking to Steve. We thought he was missing, maybe dead, and you didn’t tell us that he was okay. You betrayed us, friends don’t lie!”

Eddie jumped in to try to defend himself once more, “I didn’t lie! Steve wasn’t ready for anyone to know where he was and I didn’t want to betray his trust so-”

“You’re a coward,” Dustin spat and Eddie flinched back. “You never do the right thing! You tried to die when we were fighting the demobats and you made Steve leave. Now you’re not telling us that Steve called you. We knew Steve first, you have no right to keep him to yourself! You’re a coward and you’re selfish!”

Eddie stares at the seething teens in horror, his ears ringing and vision tunneled. He was a coward. Fuck. Was Vecna back? Because this was a scene from some of his worst nightmares. He couldn’t speak as he tried to control his breathing, the anger in the room stifling his ability to take in any air. 

Just then, Uncle Wayne opens the door to the trailer and steps in behind the gaggle of teens. He doesn’t know what he was expecting when arriving home from a long shift at the plant but it certainly wasn’t his boy on the verge of a panic attack being accosted by his group of his young friends. As Eddie’s body started to shake and his eyes began to water, the usually even-tempered man angrily turned to the kids. 

“I don’t know what the hell is going on but y’all need to leave my house now. Eddie’ll call when he wants to talk to ya. Get out. Now.”

The kids grumble and without a backwards glance to Eddie, they all take their leave. As soon as the last heathen is out the door, Eddie bursts into tears. His breaths are gasping and his fingers move to his hair to pull painfully on the strands.

Wayne watches the kids ride off on their bikes before he takes his boy into his arms in a comforting embrace. He doesn’t know what happened but for now, he will be there for his nephew like he has been since the bald-headed and knobby-kneed kid showed up at his doorstep all those years ago. Eventually, Eddie will find the words to explain to his uncle about the situation he stumbled in on today. But until then, he’ll hug Eddie and calm him down in the way only he knows how to.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 19 Part 20: Epilogue

Taglist:@nickavalens@conversesweetheart@themostunoriginalpersonever@swimmingbirdrunningrock@eddiethegreatteddybear @call-me-big-eyes @cornwallisandkerley @moonshadows-13 @glittergluekintsugi @cpidcupk @doubleb11 @mentalcyborg @amoris-no-smut-allowed @purple-lemonade @labels-are-for-the-weak @thebrazilianatheist @rajumat @livelaughlexa @5ammi90 @colorful565 @marvelousforlife @chaoticcoffeequeen @gregre369 @suddenlyinlove@thegreatmistake @stillfullofshit @nburkhardt @batxsignalsx @newunknowns @thosemessyvibes @tailsfromthecrypt@luciana-rowan @bird-with-pencils @adaed5 @lolawon @flustratedcas @iwillfindmyneverland @messrs-weasley @skoomy-doompy @yearningagain @darkwitchoferie @forest-fogg @bitchysunflower @stardust-era@newtstabber@bobatrash-queen @notjasontxdd @ohlook-afrog@00biscuit @grtwdsmwhr @oxidantdreamboat @the-witch-forever-lives @estrellami-1 @whatthemeepever @a-simple-gaywitch @imzadidragonfly

[pink-flame]

quote

[medicbrainrot]

got used to the feeling of letting it go, so give me something to believe in (deep end, part 3)

A/N: continued content warning for suicidal ideation, domestic violence, and excessive alcohol consumption.

“Damn it…” Simon stared at the apartment door, his mind flooded with circling thoughts. “What do I do now?” 

How can he get her to stop? Can he even do anything? Is he making things worse by trying? He felt a knot form in his throat, making it difficult to swallow.

As he stood there, he heard a yell come through the door followed by the sound of glass smashing.

“Aaarrrggghhh!”

At the sound, Simon’s heart joined the knot in his throat, panic flooding his veins. He knew he had already lost control of the situation, but suddenly it felt ten times worse. He felt like some of his worst fears were coming through, and he was paralyzed by the fear of something else happening to Juliana.

All he wants to do is make things right.

She needs to be okay. She has to be.

Simon tried to take a deep breath to steady his nerves, in an attempt to calm himself down. In through the nose, out through the mouth.

He turned around to face the door, and as he lifted his hand to the handle, he heard another yell followed by more glass shattering.

“AAARRRGGGHHH!”

“NO!” Simon yelled in response, slamming the door open and rushing inside. 

He was done deliberating, he had to do something. He wouldn’t leave until Jules let him help her.

Upon entering the living room, Simon could see smashed bottles on the floor that hadn’t been there earlier.

He heard a third smash come from the direction of the bathroom, followed by a yelped hiss and the sound of running water.

Without another thought, Simon rushed to the bathroom, his mind flooding with all kinds of horrible scenarios. 

His heart pounded in terror as he approached the doorway, panic flooding his mind as he pushed open the bathroom door. 

The world seemed to stop when Simon finally laid eyes on Juliana.

He rushed over to the sink where she was standing, his heart stopping when he saw the shattered mirror and her hands under the faucet, the water running pink.

“Jesus Christ, Juliana! Are you okay!?” He cries out.

“Peachy keen.” She slurs, swaying slightly.

“Oh fuck.” Simon’s words shook as he saw the blood dripping from her hand. She had sliced open the skin on her hand, probably from punching the mirror.

The pit of guilt in his stomach grew ever wider, threatening to consume him. 

He put his hands on her shoulders in an attempt to turn her towards him so he could get a look at her hands.

He wanted to help her. He needed to help her.

“Jules, what the hell…what did you do!?” He asked, voice still shaking.

He felt like his world would collapse at any moment.

“What you couldn’t…” She slurs. “Finish the job.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you!” Simon exclaims, a tear starting to run down his face. “I’m so sorry, I really am.”

It was killing him to see Jules like this. Her eyes were clouded with an alcohol-induced haze, but he could read the anger in her body language. 

She was hurting, and he was to blame.

“I want to help you…” He says, voice cracking a little.

“Sure you can, join the party.” She shrugs. “There’s a whole selection under the kitchen sink. Just make sure to clock me in the right spot.”

“I’m not going to hurt you!” Simon cried, his voice laced with notes of desperation. “There has to be some other way to fix this…”

“My ex said that too. And then he tried to kill me anyway. Might as well get it over with, right?” She slurs, still running her hands under the faucet.

“I’m not him!” Simon exclaimed. “I don’t even know who he is!” He shook her by the shoulders and looked directly into her eyes.

He stared at her for a moment, and with a sinking realization came to the conclusion that nothing he said would help.

“I just want to make things right, Juliana. I…I’m so sorry for what I did to you. Please, please forgive me.” Simon pleaded, voice finally cracking.

“Make sure they use lilies at my funeral, not roses.” Juliana slurs, seeming pretty out of it.

“You’re not dying! I’m not going to hurt you!” Simon shouted desperately. 

His concern grew even more. Was she going to try to kill herself? Would she really try something like that?

“Juliana, for God’s sake! I’m not going to hurt you, I want to help you!” Was she even listening to anything he said, or had the alcohol blurred her mind so much that nothing was making any sense?

“Hmm, maybe if you hit me again, it’ll sink in this time…” Juliana mumbled.

“NO!” Simon shouted, trying to pull her out of the bathroom.

She may hate him for the rest of his life, but he still cares about her. He’s not going to let her hurt herself, no matter how much she hates him. 

“Listen to me!” Simons says as he shakes her shoulders. “I’m not going to let you continue hurting yourself!”

He slid his hands down her arms and he began to drag her away from the sink.

She stumbled as he dragged her, the insane amount of alcohol she had consumed affecting her balance and coordination. 

“Christ…” Simon growled, his body tensing as he held Juliana up. “Jules, please, let me help you.” He pleaded. There has to be another way to get through to her.

“Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.” She mumbles. “How can God’s name be hallowed if people curse it all the time?” She asks no one in particular.

Simon didn’t really know what to say to that. “Huh?” He asked softly, staring at her.

Why is she bringing up religion? Just how drunk is she? The alcohol must be making her lose her common sense.

“Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.” Juliana continued softly.

“What in the hell?” Simon muttered under his breath, confused. “Jules, where did you learn that?” He asked, as if this were a normal conversation, as if she hadn’t just been talking about killing herself moments ago. “Jules, what the hell is going on with you?” This was taking a turn for the weird, she wasn’t making any sense.

“My grandma, the catholic one.” She slurs. “Used to say it all the time when my mom and I would fight.”

“Your mom and you?” Simon asked, sounding concerned. “Did…did she hit you?”

Some of the puzzle pieces were starting to come together. “Why would she do that?”

He wanted to know, but he knew he had to tread carefully so that he didn’t hurt her further.

“I don’t know why.” Juliana tries to shrug. “I never cared much for religion. What kind of god allows parents to hurt their children?”

“You were abused.” Simon concluded softly, sadness evident in his voice. “Is…isn’t there anyone else you could have turned to about this? Anyone you trust?”

Simon felt like he was starting to understand. He felt guilty for not having understood earlier. For not having seen it sooner. 

“You, the team…but when you backhanded me, in front of everyone, I felt like I was back to square zero.” She says softly.

“I’m sorry.” Simon said, his voice laced with intense guilt. “I really am.”

The events of the past two days were his fault. He had driven her to this. He was responsible.

Simon stared at her in silence for a moment. “I’m sorry, Juliana.” For a brief moment, you could see the deep pain in his eyes, the pit of guilt that had been growing, beginning to consume him. 

“It’s okay.” She shrugs sadly. “I’ve been through worse.”

His eyebrows furrowed at her statement. “No, no, it’s not okay.” He said seriously, his tone still soft. “It’s never okay for this to happen to anyone. I…I don’t care what’s happened, or what you’ve done. No one deserves to be abused.” 

“For the longest time… I believed it was my fault, that I had done something wrong.” She whispered.

“It wasn’t your fault.” Simon said with conviction. “It was never your fault.”

He felt awful. Simon felt awful that she had been through this, twice, and that he had contributed to it.

“Juliana, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s your parent’s fault. It’s your ex’s fault. Not yours.” He said, trying to convince her. He wanted to make sure she knew it wasn’t her fault. To make sure that she didn’t blame herself for what had happened, never again. 

Juliana looked at him, tears beginning to slide down her face.

Simon saw the tears in her eyes, and felt his heart shatter. He hadn’t felt like this in years, he felt worse than he had in a long time, seeing her cry like this.

“It’s okay Jules.” He said softly. He lifted her up a little bit so that she could sag against him as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. “You’ll be okay.”

Simon sighed as he looked down at her. “Just… just promise me one thing, okay?” He asked softly. “Promise me you’ll stop drinking like this, okay?” 

He looked at her, sounding a bit desperate. “You’re drunk. Very drunk. And your emotions are running high. You can’t keep going like this, Jules. You know I’m right.” He said firmly.

“I don’t even like alcohol.” She mumbles. “It’s gross.”

“Yet you’ve been drinking it anyway, why?” Simon asked, notes of confusion in his voice. He didn’t understand. Why drink if she doesn’t like the taste?

“Nothing hurts when I’m drunk. Everything feels numb.” She says.

“And what do you do when you sober up? It will still be there, waiting for you. You’re only going to hurt yourself more if you keep drinking like this, Jules.” He sighs. “Drinking your problems away doesn’t solve them, trust me.”

“I know it doesn’t actually fix anything.” She sighs. “But sometimes it’s nice to not have to feel anything for a little while.”

“It’s never good to numb yourself out like this.” Simon gently explained. “It always gets worse when you sober up. Please, stop drinking like this. You’re better than this.” He said, notes of concern and love in his voice. “You’re worth more than this, Juliana.”

“Is that what you were thinking when you hit me?” Jules asked quietly.

“Do you want to hear the honest answer, or the sugar-coated answer? Because I’ll give you the honest answer.” Simon said, slightly bitter. “I was angry. I was mad at you. And I let that anger get the best of me. “I’m sorry.” He said sincerely.

“Thank you for being honest.” She said softly.

“So… will you stop trying to drown yourself in alcohol?” Simon asked, hoping she understood how worried he was and how much he cared. “Please?”

“Yeah… I think I’m done.” She whispered. “Help me pour it out?”

“Sure.” He replied, the sound of relief evident in his voice. 

He helped her pour out the bottles sitting on the kitchen counter, and he grabbed the bottles under the kitchen sink and emptied those as well. He searched the fridge and the kitchen cabinets, and poured out the bottle he found. 

“I think I got it all.” He said softly.

“Did you check under the bathroom sink?” She asked.

“Under the sink?” Simon sighed, going to the bathroom to retrieve the two bottles stashed there. How long has this been a problem that she has so much alcohol hidden in her apartment?

“That should be the last of it.” He said gently.

“You know, it’s kinda funny.” Juliana muses. “I tried to go to AA when I was 19. No one believed I had a problem… A 19 year old college girl with a drinking problem? Nah.”

“That’s awful, I’m sorry they didn’t believe you, that you didn’t get the help you needed.” Simon said softly.

“I was underage, but otherwise well put together.” She shrugs. “I didn’t fit the stereotype.”

“Even so.” Simon said, slightly frustrated. “They should have helped, not turned you away.”

“Did... did you ever try again? To get help?” Simon asked, sounding worried.

“No. I took the initial failure as a sign that I had to fix it by myself.” She answered.

“It doesn’t have to be that way. You can get help.” Simon squeezed her gently. “There are people who care. I care, Juliana, I really do. Let me help you.”

“I know you do.” Juliana sighs. “But when my boyfriend hits me when he gets upset in an argument, that really scared me, Simon.”

“I’m sorry, Juliana. I shouldn’t have done that. There is never a good reason to hurt someone like that.” Simon said, pain in his voice. “I won’t do it again, I promise.”

“I hope not.” She tries to stand on her own, but wobbles because of all the alcohol.

“Are you okay?” Simon asks. “You’re still very unsteady. Should you be standing?”

“I need to go to the bathroom… I feel like I’m gonna be sick.” She wobbles.

“Okay, let’s get you to the bathroom.” Simon helped her get to the toilet, just in time before the alcohol made a gross reappearance. 

She leaned over the toilet, and all the alcohol in her stomach started the process of leaving her system.

“That’s it. Get it all out.” Simon soothed, rubbing her back. “You need to rest, Juliana. You’re not in a good state right now. You need sleep, or you’re going to feel worse.”

“Ughhh, I already feel awful.” Juliana groans. “I remember the last time I got alcohol poisoning. It was horrible.”

“That’s why I was trying to stop you from drinking more.” Simon said, his voice slightly cold. He knew that he had to stop her from continuing down this path of self-destruction. He had to stop it.

“I get it, Simon. I fucked up.” She said flatly.

“You made a mistake. You were upset. I get it. I’m not mad at you. But I want you to get better.” He said softly.

“Ok.” She wobbles as she tries to stand up. “I… I want to take a shower… but I… I…”

Simon helps her to her feet and helps her towards the shower. “Here we go.” He says gently.

He opened the shower curtain and helped her get undressed, starting the water at a warm temperature. He helped her sit down in the tub, and knelt next to it as he started to help her bathe, as if she were a child.

“I’m sorry for fucking up.” She said quietly as he washed her hair.

“It’s alright, Juliana.” Simon replied as he continued to wash her, taking care to be gentle. “I’m here to help you.”

“Thank you.” She sighed under his touch. “I’m the worst girlfriend ever…”

“I think you’re a pretty nice girlfriend, actually. This was just a hiccup, you didn’t do it intentionally.” Simon said gently as he helped her wash off. “Nobody is perfect, Jules, but that’s okay. It’s what makes us human.” 

“You’re not alone. You have people who love you. Me included.” He said.

“I’m sorry, Simon. For everything, for… for this, for arguing with you, for provoking you to the point of violence. I’m sorry.” She says, tears gathering in her eyes.

Simon sat silently for a moment as he helped her rinse the shampoo from her hair. After a bit, he felt like some of the weight had been lifted from his shoulders. “It’s alright, Jules. It… It was a mistake. But we’re okay, we’ll move on from this. And it wasn’t just you who provoked me, I also reacted poorly.”

“I know I don’t say it often enough, but I appreciate you Simon. My life is better with you in it.” She teeters a little, the alcohol still making its way through her system. “I… I don’t ever want to lose you.”

Simon took a deep breath, and then pressed a kiss to her cheek. “I love you Juliana. I don’t ever want to lose you either.” He said softly. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

She lets out a small laugh. “Simon, I look ridiculous, I’m drunk, naked, and covered in soap suds because I can’t even shower by myself right now.”

“And yet you’re still beautiful.” Simon said matter-of-factly. “You’re still gorgeous even if you do look kind of ridiculous.”

“Even when I’m wasted?” Juliana whispers.

“Even when you’re wasted, or sick, or tired, or any version of anything you think is less than perfect.” He kissed her cheek again. “I will always love you, no matter what. I am here to protect you.” He said, almost as if he were swearing a promise.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be deserving of you, Simon.” She whispered fondly before pressing a kiss to his jaw.

“Trust me, you are. I don’t want anybody else. I love you, all of you. Your faults, your flaws, your traumas, your insecurities. All of you, Juliana.” He gently ran a hand down her hair as he finished rinsing her off. “Don’t you ever doubt that.”

She shivered, a tingle running down her spine.

“I love you.” She whispers. “But can we get out of the shower now? The water is starting to run cold…”

“Yeah, of course.” Simon nodded, turning off the water. “Give me a moment, yeah?” He grabbed a towel and gently picked her up, sitting her on the outside edge of the tub. 

“Just dry off a bit, I’ll grab you some clothes.” He rubbed her arms a bit to warm her up.

“Here you go.” Simon stepped back into the bathroom, clean pajamas in hand. 

Juliana shivered, despite the warm steam in the bathroom.

“Are you alright?” He asked as he saw her shiver, wanting to make sure she was okay.

“It’s kinda cold…” She shivered again. “I think the alcohol is making its way through my system.”

“Alright, let’s get you in bed and get you warmed up.” He helped her get dried off and dressed, then picked her up and carried her to the bedroom, carefully setting her down on the bed.

He pulled up the blankets around her, before kicking off his shoes and sliding under the covers next to her.

“Thank you Simon, for not abandoning me.” She whispered, snuggling into his side. “I’m sorry for hurting you.”

“I’m right here.” He replied. “You’re safe, no one is going to hurt you anymore. You’ll always be safe with me. I’m never leaving you, ever. Okay?”

She nods, tucking her face into his neck.

Simon grew quiet, wrapping his arms around her, gently rubbing up and down her back. 

“You’re warm.” Juliana mumbled softly.

“Is it comforting?” Simon asked.

“Mmhmm. You smell good, too, like home.”

“I… I do? I smell good?” Simon wondered curiously, running his fingers lightly through her wet hair.

“Yeah,” She mumbles. “Like spice, and pine, and… and home…”

Simon smiled at her description, his heart fluttering a little bit. “You’ve got to rest now, my sweet girl. That’s the best thing for you right now. Get some sleep, I’m right here.”

“Not close enough.” Jules muttered, wrapping an arm around Simon’s torso and bringing herself tighter against him, with surprising strength  for someone so drunk.

Simon let out a small laugh at her actions. “You want me right next to you, huh?”

He gently pulled her tighter against him. “Alright love, I’m right here. You’ve got me.” He whispered, tucking her closer to him.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Likes, reblogs, and feedback are appreciated!

Masterlist

[flowersfortheghost]

Ghostflower week day 1

tags: @ghostflowerweek2023

summary: What if the conversation during the clocktower scene went a little differently?

—

Gwen and Miles were both sitting at the Williamsburg Bank Building, talking after they hadn't seen each other for months. Miles then sat next to Gwen before she could start talking. “I mean, how many people can you talk to about this stuff?” She asked. “You don’t even know.” Miles responded. Gwen sighed, which Miles noticed. “What?” He asked.

“You’re the only friend I’ve ever really made after Peter died.” Gwen confessed. She thought she would never make new friends, that she could never move on, but she did. And she wasn’t exactly regretting it.

“Other than Hobie, right?”

“That’s different.” It was very different, to her. Hobie felt like an older brother to Gwen, Miles felt like something more than a friend. Someone she wanted to see more than a friend. Someone who she...was in love with.

“Yeah? How’s that?”

“I don’t know..” But Gwen did know, she just didn't want to admit it or say it.

“You and me, it’s…” Why couldn’t she just say it? Why couldn’t she just pour out all her feelings right now. She knew ways to word it, she just couldn’t do it.

“We’re…the same.”

Gwen looked at Miles with a somewhat confused expression. Did he see her the same way she does, or was this one-sided? “In the important ways.” Miles added, which caused Gwen to chuckle.

“In every other universe, Gwen Stacy falls for Spider-Man.”

Miles’ eyes widened a bit. He didn’t expect Gwen to say something like that. He was wondering if she had the same feelings as he had. So he moved his hand closer to hers, which Gwen noticed.

“And in every other universe…”

Gwen didn’t want to finish her sentence. She knew the faith of Gwen Stacy. She falls in love, then falls to her death. She wants it to end well, for once. She wants to love someone without dying. 

“Miles, can I tell you something?” Gwen had to do it, this was the only chance she could tell Miles this. “Yeah sure. Go ahead.”

“Miles I…” Gwen felt a nervous feeling blossom inside her. She couldn’t keep these feelings and felt like Miles needed to know this. “Maybe in this universe, it can end well…” She thought to herself.

“When Gwen Stacy falls for Spider-Man, she falls to her death. That’s how the story is supposed to go…” Gwen stopped talking for a second, deciding whether or not she should do this. “But maybe in this universe, things are different.” She said, getting closer to Miles.

“Gwen, what are you-”

Before Miles had finished his sentence, Gwen had softly kissed him. Miles obviously didn’t see that one coming, but he couldn’t deny the fact that he didn’t mind it. In fact, he kissed her back, which was something Gwen didn’t expect.

Gwen eventually pulled away. “So Gwen, what does this mean?” Miles asked, as if the answer wasn’t obvious yet. “I… I love you, Miles.” Gwen said softly, feeling a slight blush appear on her face.

“I love you too, Gwen.”

[ur-fav-sugardaddy-situation]

"I saw you were having an existential crisis." ".. here." He handed you some straight alcohol.

Thanks.. I’m glad to have someone to indulge on my sulking than to have someone nag me about it-

*Wallace spoke, taking the alcohol and sighing. He didn’t even read the bottle, just unscrewed the lid and downed like half of it*

Much.. appreciated, Future Mobile

-W.W.

[crabisnasty1234]

//

“..leave..”

Dazai’s eyes widened as the chains broke and fell on the ground. He quickly scrambled to his feet..he wanted to say the words he had been holding back for oh so long..

“Chuuya! Chuuya please..listen to me..you could be free too..there is this..whole other world an-"

Chuuya’s heard weighed heavy in this chest. Why was Dazai wanting him to join him NOW?! Why not then?! Chuuya bit back the tears of betrayal as much as he could...he had to keep a straight face..it was his job.

“You had your fucking chance to take me with you”

Dazai stopped talking for a moment, he knew he messed up..he never told anyone what was in his mind or why he left..but he had to attempt to try now or else..

“I..sigh..i know..i just..”

BAM. Dazai shut up and ducked before his head was cut off by the slice of Chuuya’s sword. When he looked at him..Chuuya had..tears in his eyes..?

“Get outa here before i fucking kill you..traitor"

And with that..Chuuya turned around and started walking away..his stern and cold expression breaking with every step..

“Ch..Chuuya..please..”

Dazai’s voice cracked a little as he reached out to Chuuya, his whole demeanor looked pitiful..desperate..as if his whole world has shattered in that moment.

His hand slowly fell at the realization of what just happened..he had lost the one person that truly cared about him...forever

[succulent-mud]

???? fellow kaneki lover henlo ??

EHAHEHHEHHE YES YES YES FELLOW KANEKI LOVER HI HELLO

I love that man so much and he's always taking all of my mental capacity and hability to concentrate

ANYTHING, my pc suffers because of the file with 4000 images. Writting drawing ANYTHING.

AND THIS PANNEL.