#YEEHAW mountain man life

[roylustang]

In my preparation to live a life more outdoors I have not used AC or heat in my house for the past year. It wasn’t really an experiment, but here’s what happened:

The temperature range outside for the past year (including wind chills and heat indexes) was approximately 26F during the predawn hours in winter to 110F at the height of the day in summer. The temperature in my house probably ranged from about 40F to 90F, but I had no way to actually measure this so it’s just an educated guess.

Obviously we’re skipping over spring and fall, because you don’t need climate control for those seasons anyway. 

Let’s start with winter, since we’re heading that direction again. For me, the main challenge of winter is honestly braving the cold for 30 seconds when I need to put on a bra to go running. That’s really it. I usually don’t wear one to work because I’m usually wearing three layers of clothing, so I don’t need one, but if I go to the town gym I have to change (the gym does not have climate control either). I don’t really have a solution for this other than to just suck it up, or wear a bra to sleep (which I used to do all the time in high school, but I dislike it now).

In order to stay warm in the winter, I have three main methods: kotatsu, blankets, and hot shower. I’m almost always wearing 2-3 layers of clothing and fingerless gloves, which I usually sleep in too. I usually do laundry biweekly in winter, and weekly (or more) in the summer. So that’s a point for winter (also no bugs). Anyway. 

Kotatsu is pretty obvious--it’s warm under there. I know my housemates have already broken their’s out for the season, but honestly I’m gonna try to not use mine this year as an added challenge, I guess? Idk, I’m also just lazy and don’t feel like getting it out. And also because...

Blankets get the job done pretty well. This apartment came with 5 million blankets. I’m currently using 3/4 of the Main Blankets on my bed, but the third one is still too hot sometimes at night. Otherwise, as long as I put my hood up I’m never cold at night or when I’m sitting in bed, which is usually what I’m doing at home.

Hot shower is the third method. I love this one because it literally gives you cold immunity for like up to an hour afterwards, especially if its Too Hot. I once got out of a Too Hot bath and ended up sitting in my underwear in my 40F room for awhile after because I was Too Hot. 

The secret fourth method is exercise, which I do a lot of because it is my Lifestyle. You have to change quick though bc your sweat will get cold fast. (then I take a hot shower, and I’m basically cold immune until its time to go to bed again lol)

Summer is a lot worse in my opinion, mainly because it’s humid. It’s literally sweat central and because this is rural Japan, I can’t exercise shirtless outside. It definitely makes me want to go outside though, because sweating is much better when youre moving than when you’re just sitting somewhere. 

I don’t really have multiple methods of cooling off except for cool showers (of which I took many), occasionally putting an ice pack on my torso when I felt like it, and using a fan (which is extremely necessary in order to not sweat, and also dry my body off when I come back from exercising. I will literally sweat through an entire shirt in 10 mins, the humidity is fucking insane, I have wrung 100ml of sweat from my short shorts, I have disinfected the home gym mats after using them for those aforementioned 10 mins. The chewing gum in my kitchen was ruined simply bc it was humid. I had to clean mold off the kitchen floors and tables. Just imagine constantly being soaking wet if you’re not in front of a flowing air source, that is my life. Luckily I derive a very masochistic joy from this, so it could be worse). I keep the windows open literally 24/7, and the fan runs whenever I’m in the house basically, unless it’s raining because it’s significantly cooler then. I essentially do not wear clothes in my house in the summer. 

The worst and completely unanticipated consequence of this though was the appetite loss. I lost approximately 10 lbs on accident, because I wasn’t eating lunch (mainly bc I wasn’t in school and I just didn’t feel hungry). This really fucked with my health and made me much more prone to passing out, especially during exercise. I was also iron deficient, though I don’t actually know what the cause was, because I was tested for that at the beginning of June. My hair was definitely falling out though. Anyway, when fall came around, I gained it all back. It’s wild to notice how my appetite changes from season to season. Now that its getting colder again, my dinners are much bigger than they used to be. 

Overall, I’m gonna keep doing this, because i’m very used to it now. I just have to make myself eat lunch when summer comes around again. Cold spaghetti never tasted so good let me tell you. Also, my electricity bill is like half of what my housemates are, so thats fun.

[fictionandfixation]

Older Bachelor headcanons!

Older Bachelor stardew headcanons because I’ve been playing lots recently! All sfw, some mentions of smoking/alcohol 💕 also please bear in mind I am no SDV expert, so sorry if these go against canon occasionally!

Harvey ☕️🔬📚

• Secret smoking habit that he would rather die than tell anyone about. Not often, but during flu season when he’s stressed, you can find him cooped up in his room with an imported cigar or a Marlboro Gold, an espresso and an Agatha Christie.

• Plays classic soul, funk, golden oldies and jazz in the foyer of the clinic on an old-timey record player, and chooses every day from his large record collection. Frequently irritates Maru with the extent of his Doris Day enjoyment.

• Kind of wide-set - very broad shoulders, and quite tall.

• Packets of salted peanuts and cookies on the clinic foyer desk which he restocks every week.

• Goes to fetch you personally from the mines or Skull Cavern sometimes when you get knocked out. And he also keeps a vintage forest green car behind the clinic to pick you up in. He hopes one day you’ll wake up on the way back and compliment his tasteful vehicle choice or notice he’s bringing you home. You don’t.

• Best friends with Evelyn. Worst enemies with George.

• Tennis player. Plays with whoever will say yes in the mountains and always manages to punt the ball into the lake somehow. Also used to be in a rock climbing club at university, and has sort of sinewy forearms as a result.

• Outrageous flirt after a few glasses of Pinot Noir, mostly because I think he’s on the spectrum but also because I think it would help him stop being quite so nervous.

• Brown suspenders. Every. Single. Day.

• Gives Jas and Vincent candy after their checkup.

• “Sweetheart/honey” as a nickname for you.

Elliott 📜🖋️🐚

• Striped. Matching. Pajamas.

• Finds, forages and cooks mussels when he needs to impress someone. And on that note, very much a French cuisine enjoyer.

• If blue cheese has no fans Elliott is dead.

• Rizz master. Silver tongue. Read so much romance when he was a teenager that it has actively become a part of his personality to be a book boyfriend.

• Very willowy and slender. Metabolism of the gods. Puts away food like it’s nobody’s business.

• Can read several languages, but just can’t master an accent so never uses them in a spoken context. Definitely a student of Latin.

• English accent headcanon! Probably spent the first couple of decades of his life in somewhere high-income like Warwickshire, or (more likely) Cornwall or Exeter, on or near the coast. I am also envisioning him as having been to an old collegiate university like Durham, or maybe a college at Oxford (Merton I reckon).

• Writes and then burns poems about everyone he’s ever been in love with. Starts keeping them when he meets you.

• Chats fashion history with Emily and Haley.

• Religious about his collection of cravat-style ties because he’s seen the Colin Firth Pride and Prejudice a few too many times.

• Frequent book club gatherings with Caroline, Marnie, Robin and Jodi (mostly because mothers love him, the main selling point here being that he has definitely read at least one Jodi Picoult book. He does not remember anything about it, he’s just glad to be invited).

“Dearest/my love” as a pet name.

Shane 🍺🍕🐓

• Snores. Very quiet about it though.

• I know a lot of people HC Harvey as oldest but I reckon it’s Shane. He also acts the most like a bitter old man whereas I feel Harvey is just ‘mature’.

• Could be convinced to grow a beard. Maybe.

• Goes for a jog three times a week. Hates it. Refuses to stop and really isn’t even sure why he does it himself any more.

• Secret Lana Del Rey enjoyer. Mainly a fan of Midwest emo, classic rock, nu metal and sometimes country but the kind of country where they sing about killing people and getting away with it.

• Raised by heavily Christian parents in the Deep South. Yes this is a Southern accent headcanon. Yeehaw.

• Lets Jas put eyeshadow on him sometimes. Shaves properly only when she wants to put makeup on him.

• Craft beer’s number one opp. Wants an ice cold tap Budweiser only, and if there isn’t enough head on it he will be asking for a refund. Not that Gus would ever do that to him.

• Has muscle with padding. Very strong, very wide in stature, but not lean at all. Biceps wider than your neck that you could (and would) use as pillows.

• Makes the most insane hangover breakfast known to man. Bacon. Pancakes. Sausage. Home fries. Butter. Syrup. You’re putting on a bit of healthy relationship weight for sure with Shane as your partner.

• “Darlin’/baby” user. “Sweet cheeks” as a joke. Kind of a joke.

Hope you guys enjoyed these!! I am down irretrievable for Older Bachelor content because I love ✨older men✨

Please let me know if you’d like some more for these characters or the other bachelors and bachelorettes!

[everywherenyc]

Howdy, y'all! #HappyHumpDay - January sure was a wild ride, like navigating the peaks and valleys of a rugged mountain range. It brought triumphs and sorrows, a true cowboy's journey.

As we saddle up for February, let's tip our hats to the highs and lows, shouting a hearty "Yeehaw!" to the things we hold dear. Valentine's Day beckons us to express love, while Black History Month reminds us of the strides made by our Black forebears – lessons we must not overlook.

Let's rein in our horses, taking life one day at a time. In this short but mighty month, let's cherish every sunset, be present, and not take each other or our own lives for granted. Before February high tails it and bites the dust, let's make every moment count.

Sure, there'll be good times and lessons along the trail, but we'll saddle up and get back on the horse if it throws us. Keep the faith, stick to your guns, and never stop searching for reasons to be grateful this February.

I know most folks shoot me private messages, turning my feed into a wild western tale. But if any part of this post resonates with you, give a holler in the comments below. Let's share the trail together.

I'm grateful for each one of you.

E-man 2024

[spenceralexdutton]

Glad to see someone Interested in writing Spencer and Alex fanfic 💖💖💖💖. If your taking request maybe them in the future when they have children ???? I’d love to see them with some kids ( few boys maybe a little girl, bc let’s be real Spencer would definitely do anything for his daughter)

Ahh thank you for this 💕💕💕 and yes I am most definitely interested in writing them! So sorry for the delay - the stomach virus knocked me out 😵‍💫😭

——

*set 7 years in the future from 1923*

“Madeline!”

Alex rounded the corner of the barn, searching for her youngest, her bouncing blonde curls no where to be found. With a heavy sigh, she was about to head back to the stalls to search them one by one again when she heard a loud giggle, followed by the laughter of boys and the sound her Spencer’s low drawl.

“Just give him a kick, babydoll, he’ll go,” she heard. Rolling her head to the side, she knew now where her three year old daughter was. And likely where her two sons were as well.

Her worn boots crunched along the dirt path as she made her way quietly to the corrals, where she found her family gathered. Spencer was in the small round pen with Maddie while Johnny and Jake leaned against the wooden plats. The boys heard her coming and she heard their whispered “uh oh, here comes Mama.” She fought her smile. How’d she become the tougher parent?

On top of Spencer’s best horse, Copper, his heart horse as she called him due to their inseparable bond, was their little girl. All on her own in Spencer’s big saddle. She reined the chestnut horse around the circle with her tiny hands. And Copper, all fire under Spencer, was putty in her hands, his head bowed down like the finest horse in the world. He walked softly, each step light as though the ground may shatter, or his man’s daughter might fall if he didn’t carry her just so.

But Maddie was her father’s—and mother’s—daughter. “Yeehaw, Copper!” She hollered in her little voice, her biggest kick following. From behind the boys, she watched Copper’s ears flicker but his pace never change. Spencer’s laughter warmed her to her soul, as it always did.

“He knows you’re not ready to jog yet, baby.”

“Copper, listen to me, not Daddy,” she pressed, with another big kick against the saddle. “Trot!”

Copper let out a sigh and picked up the smallest of jogs with Spencer’s cluck of his tongue. The thrilled shriek Maddie let out made Alex laugh. She couldn’t help it. Her motherly nerves were overtaken by the joy of watching her daughter fall in love with something she herself loved as well.

Spencer glanced her way and their eyes met. “I couldn’t find her,” Alex began, “I should have known.”

Spencer grinned. “Hard to keep either of my girls off horses.” His eyes were full of joy and love. Joy and love she knew he hadn’t ever expected to have in his life. They were both beyond fortunate they’d found one another.

“Like mother, like daughter.” She leaned on the rough wood and watched Copper take care of their little girl as he jogged around the pen. Maddie’s smile was as big as the mountain range around them. The boys leaned into her sides and her arms fell around them instinctively.

“Mama, you wanna see Bonnie’s calf?” Johnny asked, his big blue eyes looking up at her with wonder. “She’s so small, Daddy said I might have to give her a bottle.”

This was her life now, and she wouldn’t change any of it for the world. Every day was an adventure. And with Spencer, most nights were too. Their life was hard, no doubt about that. But it was theirs. And she was beyond glad she’d run after him that day seven. years ago in Africa. Grateful. For everything they’d endure so far. And everything that was to come. Whatever it may be.

[tripthelightfandomtastic]

I posted 5,790 times in 2022

That's 5,782 more posts than 2021!

2,746 posts created (47%)

3,044 posts reblogged (53%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sing-against-the-sky

@sinners-go-to-drink-the-wine

@ejacutastic

I tagged 3,395 of my posts in 2022

Only 41% of my posts had no tags

#gvf - 2,220 posts

#greta van fleet - 2,168 posts

#josh kiszka - 1,897 posts

#jake kiszka - 1,876 posts

#danny wagner - 1,861 posts

#sam kiszka - 1,828 posts

#jake gvf - 1,815 posts

#josh gvf - 1,810 posts

#danny gvf - 1,787 posts

#sam gvf - 1,769 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#im going crazy im giggling like an idiot at my desk my coworker asked me whats so funny and im just laughing bc what am i supposed to do??

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Neon Moon- S.F.K

Authors Note:

Haven't been able to stop thinking about making another period piece, but this time, The Wild West! I've been on a real Sam high lately and I can't stop thinking about how perfect long haired Sammy would look dressed as a cowboy, so I thought this would be a good story for him, plus I'm from the south so this was a lot of fun to write.

Synopsis:

You and your least favorite cowboy on the ranch have to ride out on a cattle drive alone together until one night tensions run high under the moonlight.

Word count: 9.9K (this is becoming a pattern)

WARNING: 18+ Minors DNI, Enemies to lovers smut, but make it a western. Swearing, alcohol, minor injury, fingering, light spanking, raw doggin' (wrap before you tap it with a cowboy babes).

Pairing: Cowboy!Sam x female reader

Let me know what you think, I love hearing from y'all! Let me know if you wanna be tagged in a future post and hit up my messages if you want a request for a future story! YEEHAW!

See the full post

384 notes - Posted January 25, 2022

#4

Mended. J.M.K

Author’s Note: This story holds alot of my own bullshit from my past and kind of my journey back to self acceptance and letting go of what had been done to me. I'm hoping you guys enjoy my story, I've been wanting to move this pain into art and something that doesn't just belong to me anymore.

Requests:

Anon:

From the prompts, can u do something with Josh using: “ when i am near you, i finally know how it feels to breathe without worry, without caution. i just feel safe with you… “Like the reader had been in a toxic relationship prior to meeting Josh and when she feels how comfortable he makes her feel she confesses this quote to him??? And the whole thing is all fluffy and heartfelt🥺🥰😍😭 thank u sis for feeding us so well😩😩😩

And this Anon as well, I sort of added them to the pot!

Anon:Ok I’m shy but here I go😭🙈

Can you do something with the prompt:

“Just do what feels good baby, there’s no rush…”

Like maybe it’s her first time ✨riding✨ him and he’s kinda helping her and encouraging her? Something along those lines🥰

I kind of combined both of these requests for this fic!

Synopsis: After being with your boyfriend for so long, the two of you find yourselves sharing a long awaited first time.

Word Count: 6.2k (bit of a breeze eh?)

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x Female Reader

Warnings: Warnings: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. Very very fluffy, very sweet, very smutty. Foul language, oral, mentions of past sexual abuse and sexual trauma. (Wrap it before you tap your beautiful boyfriend)

See the full post

391 notes - Posted April 5, 2022

#3

Snow Angel. J.M.K

authors note:

This is the first gvf one shot I've ever written and it's been ages since I've written like this before so I hope you enjoy it.

Synopsis:

On your vacation to a ski resort you run into the sexiest man on the mountain who practically saves your life.

Word count: 9.9K

WARNING: 18+ Minors DNI, fluff, definitely smutty, very smutty, praise, swearing, alcohol, oral (f recieving), raw doggin' (wrap before you tap). Mentions of injury and surgery (not crazy).

Pairing: Josh x female reader

Please let me know what you think!

See the full post

448 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

#2

Take aways from the new Danny interview

Jake is the best cook, "from pasta to making a soup that takes 3 days"

Josh is the most particular about the band

Danny and Sam can read music Josh and Jake cannot but they say it's really not something they have to do alot

Heat Above was written 6 or 7 years before TBAGG and is the oldest song on the album

At camp fires Danny will either play on a cardboard box and bang on that or usually will play guitar

"I'm not a brother by blood but I am a brother."

They all stink after a show and all their wardrobe stinks.

Sam and Josh wash their feet right after a show and they all shower after to try and ground themselves (like duh but thank god)

Danny hasn't really Googled himself besides to see if they have his height right and when their tour dates are because he forgets

The boys had Thanksgiving together during the pandemic

Metallica is super fuckin nice

Describes himself as the most introverted in the band and is nervous to go up and introduce himself to big time artists at festivals (like girl me too I'd be so scared)

They enjoy making music videos alot (didn't say anything about any new ones or broken bells)

"New music is coming sooner than you think"

I love Danny omg he's so polite and sweet and I wanna kiss him all over.

https://youtu.be/AQnevMMLUKQ

496 notes - Posted August 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Feather Light- J.M.K

Author’s Note:

This is in response to an anon request I got asking for a tantric sex smut with Josh. I hope you can’t tell how little I know about tantric sex aside from the smut I’ve read on this godforsaken hell-site, but hey I had fun and I bet you will too! Also, I googled harem pants to see if they were what I thought they were called and now it's the only ad I get on instagram now so that’s cool.

Synopsis:

After so many relationships and sexual partners, you just can’t seem to find any real release, well, that’s until you met Dr. J.M.K.

Word count: 8.1K (some light reading)

WARNING: 18+ Minors DNI, smut but make it Dr. J.M.K, tantric sex, swearing, raw doggin' (wrap it before you tap your spiritual psychology teacher).

Pairing: Dr. J.M.K x female reader

I love hearing from all of you and what you think of my writing. Let me know what you’d like to see, any requests or if you would like to be added to my taglist for future stories! Love y’all!

See the full post

905 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

This is honestly so insane to me. I made this account just around the beginning of this year just because I wanted to give Snow Angel a home and seeing it in my top 5 posts means a lot. I cannot believe the journey that this has taken me on. I am incredibly thankful of all the love you have not only shown me, but the love you have shown for my stories. I've always loved to write and I am so happy that you all seem to enjoy what I write and I am so thankful for that. You all mean the world to me, every last comment, note, funny tag and reblog means the absolute world to me and I am forever grateful and blessed for your support.

To another year on this hellsite surrounded by endless Gresties and friends. I love you all.

[godzillerd]

Heisenberg vs Rose Winters: The Drunkle Files

So a common theme seems to circle back around to Heisenberg being a sort of hobo yeehaw drunkle figure for little teeny tiny Rosemary Winters. 

Yet I ask myself: Self, does this man not exude child-hating energy? Why would this man ever willingly submit himself to the whims of a toddler - nay, an infant?

I present to you: A Theory. 

Jumping off point: Ethan agrees to the deal. Awesome. They now have four baby chunks and a general agreement not to kill each other. 

In order to reassemble Rose, they have two options: Either allow Miranda to do it and also put Rose directly in her hands, or find another solution. 

Ethan doesn’t want a crazy Mountain Mommy touching his baby and Heisenberg doesn’t want Miranda holding their ace so they look for another solution. 

In the end, Donna (RIP Donna) has the solution. Specifically, that Donna split her Cadou dozens of times to create her dolls. 

You see where this is going 

Local Hobo Saws Into His Own Guts 

It takes more Cadou than either of them expect to trigger Rose’s pieces to reassemble, but they still end up with a whole baby. Miranda ends up dead. Everyone is happy. 

Plot twist: Sharing a Cadou does some weird shit. 

It starts with Heisenberg - who historically does not need to sleep at all - routinely passing out without rhyme or reason. Conveniently, it corresponds with the baby’s nap times. 

Ethan overdresses baby Rose because he’s a paranoid single father doing his best? Heisenberg feels like he’s locked in a sauna. Ethan forgets to give her an extra blankie at night? Heisenberg’s fucking freezing. 

When Rose dreams, whatever connection they have is even more fluid. Heisenberg can even share them at times. For the first year after the Village, this is the only way he ever interacts with Rose at all, in fact.

He picks up on the situation faster than Ethan and starts dropping hints, such as sending mean texts to stop smothering his baby from two countries away.

Ethan only clues in when Heisenberg starts eating shit like apples and carrots, because Heisenberg doesn’t eat. 

It is a testament to how fucked up this man’s life is that he doesn’t actually freak out that much. Instead, Heisenberg gets to start his new life as a living, breathing baby monitor. 

Rose becomes fascinated by cows at age 2. So does Heisenberg. He hates every second of it and yet he can’t look away from those majestic, horned monstrosities. 

She also has a fixation on all things dinosaur which, again, Heisenberg regrettably shares. He hates himself every time he looks up a dinosaur fact. 

Heisenberg can sense when Rose is in pain extremely vividly.

The opposite is true. They find that out when Heisenberg nearly cuts his hand off with a fabricating machine. It’s traumatizing for everyone involved.

Splitting his Cadou muffles Heisenberg’s actual powers. He can no longer transform, and although he doesn’t quite age, his appearance changes over time. 

Their connection doesn’t necessarily strengthen or weaken as years pass, but it changes as Rose becomes more self aware. As a young child, her thoughts and feelings are an open book. By the time she’s five, Heisenberg only gets the broad strokes of whatever she’s thinking. 

Unless she decides otherwise, which happens a lot when she’s overwhelmed or flustered. Then he gets a deluge of everything and has to pick out a root cause from the mess to explain to Ethan, who is usually cut out of the entire process (much to his annoyance).

A child’s influence does wonders for Heisenberg, but Heisenberg’s influence on a child is less amazing. 

Rose develops an attitude problem before she even hits school age. She has a temper and an issue with authority figures. She often rebels just for the sake of rebelling.

She also grows into a severe introvert and has little interest in other children. 

and my goodness, the potty mouth. 

She never manifests the same abilities as Heisenberg, but she does have a very natural talent for mechanics. 

It’s a common argument debate between Ethan and Heisenberg as to whether Rose’s behavioral quirks are because of the connection, or just Heisenberg’s presence in her life, or if she was always destined to be that way. 

In the end they usually drop the subject because it pisses everyone off. 

At age 10 Rose discovers boys 

Heisenberg’s scream of anguish can be heard worldwide all the way from Alaska.

[curiosity-killed]

hua cheng, the accidental person

okay this is for @bodhimcbodeface because i can’t shut up and make this concise enough for discord. spoilers ahead yeehaw

this is...not comprehensive. i’ve written 11 tgcf fics and am generally a bit fixated on Hua Cheng as a character so. there’s definitely things missing but i tried to hit the main points that i thought of while writing? also obviously this is just my interpretation! i do not expect anyone else to be like “ah yes curio the sage is so correct i have changed my thinking on this” like go live your life with your own versions of hua cheng! this is just the hill upon which i have firmly planted myself and from which i refuse to be budged. as u do.

anyway, LONG explanation of my very niche and very uh self-indulgent, not-necessarily-support-by-canon hua cheng apologism LMAO

tl;dr: (this is really Too Long i’m sorry) I think Hua Cheng reluctantly becomes a person during his 800 years of searching, starting from a point where he views Xie Lian not as a person but as an immutable god and focus of devotion and developing into a person who doesn’t really acknowledge that he’s a person because realizing that you want to live and do things for yourself is scary and overwhelming at times, and he ultimately falls in love with Xie Lian during the novel itself as he recognizes and is in wonder of the humanity of Xie Lian instead of his divinity or absolute judgment.

POINT 1: Hua Cheng doesn’t actually fall in love with Xie Lian till the ox cart

but curio! you say, “my beloved!” he calls him his beloved! and the land of tender!!

shhh. IMO Hua Cheng is more Wuming than Hua Cheng for those 800 years. By which I mean, for most of that time he’s, at his heart, a nameless soldier trying to find and serve his crown prince/general/god. He still views Xie Lian as this perfect and immaculate figure—a sculpture, a painting, a work of art that is untouchable and immutable. And he’s utterly and wholly devoted to that figure but devotion is not the same as love

So Hua Cheng is searching and trying to serve Dianxia all these years and then His Royal Highness finally ascends and is a god again and Hua Cheng shows up in all his glory to give this power and strength and wealth to serve him and—

and he’s met not by a powerful and reckless martial god or an unstoppable calamity but by a young man dressed in bridal robes who lets Hua Cheng lead him up a darkened mountain, who doesn’t lash out with spiritual energy or a sword but instead, only eventually, with the cursed bandage he was carrying back in the darkest part of his life.

and i think that throws hua cheng. like he’s had this image of his god all these years, this divine painting made over and over and over again—and he carries that belief and devotion with him, but there’s a crack in the sculpture and the stone is starting to flake off to reveal a human underneath it

so he puts on an approachable, malleable, unassuming skin and finds xie lian collecting scraps and being a lil awkward, a lil bumbling, generous and kind — and i think hua cheng, after 800 years of knowing everything, having everything — I think he looks at this discovery with wonder

Bc tbc this does not mean Hua Cheng views them as equals. For him it’s like, dianxia has even more to him, is even more than I knew. He’s seen Xie Lian as the flower crowned martial god in all his glory and as the white-clothed calamity in all his horror — and now here he is, wonderful, multitudinous, and human

Meanwhile I don’t think Hua Cheng even views himself as a person really, much less a human.

also i mean. the internet & allo ppl prove time and time again that you don’t need love for horniness so. land of tender’s right out as proof on that

POINT 2: The Live For Me thing

so obviously and undeniably, using one person as a reason for living is....not healthy. Not going to argue that. but my take on it personally is that, when Hua Cheng’s a kid who really, actively wants to die and sees no reason for living, Xie Lian gives him a reason to keep going. he doesn’t have to live for himself—that’s too much, that’s too big of an ask—but he’s been given a command and purpose by the one person who’s been kind to him/whom he respects. it’s a little like... “My life has no meaning but my cat needs me to feed him and clean his litterbox and so I need to keep getting up and taking care of him even if I don’t see a larger intrinsic purpose to my life.”

and i think like...it’s easy to forget that for all of books 2 & 4, Hua Cheng is young. He doesn’t live past 18—he’s still like...a kid. And that’s not to say that teenagers/young adults can’t make moral and rational decisions but I’m going to be honest, when I was that age I contemplated joining the Air Force because of tuition assistance and the snazzy uniform despite the fact that I was a vocal pacifist and repeatedly got into arguments with teachers about school rules and conservative politics. It’s not like. The Most Rational and Mature Age, lbr. 

so Wuming is absolutely capable of looking at what Xie Lian is doing and being like “hey maybe war crimes aren’t a great idea” but he is young and traumatized and the one person he believes in, the one person who gave him a reason to keep going, is deadset on this task which tbh I don’t think either of them (or...necessarily...the society in which they live) views as war crimes in the modern sense (which isn’t to say that we as readers should view it any more lightly bc i think the narrative directly and firmly contradicts that idea) but as revenge, as an eye-for-an-eye. so, bad, but character-wise, I think it’s more nuanced than we sometimes consider

anyway back to the fixation on xie lian. i stand by the assertion that in those 800 years, hua cheng wasn’t exclusively focused on xie lian. like was finding and serving him his top priority? oh god yes. undeniably. there is no other version of this story. BUT eight hundred years is like....a lot of time. and i think in that time he started doing things for himself, even if under the guise of serving xie lian. hua cheng is curious and adventurous—he clearly likes to learn even if he plays it off as nbd—and i think he starts to realize that about himself in those centuries even if he doesn’t allow himself to acknowledge or consider it. 

POINT 3: Mt. Tong’lu in General

“okay, sure but what about the thousands of sculptures and murals of xie lian, curio. what the fuck about them.”

Yeah. FINE. okay we will DEAL with this. dealing with this is the entire reason i wrote “(like i do) in the tall grass.” 

disclaimer: this is probably not supported by canon! i also. Do Not care. My Ghost King Now.

so I have two general avenues I take with this:

going back to the devotion > love — when Hua Cheng reaches MTL, he’s seen xie lian beaten and cast down. what do gods need to survive? worship! we see throughout how important divine statues/portraits/etc. are throughout canon. in this interpretation, the cave is a concentration of all that worship in an effort to support and serve xie lian and hua cheng doesn’t view himself like...as part of it. the sculptures could have been carved by any hand so long as they are xie lian and the worship and devotion that goes into their making can support and bolster him.

my personal favorite version: amNESIA IN THE CAVES —okay i don’t have the text pulled up rn but y’know how Guoshi says Hua Cheng was almost dispersed, in terrible condition, etc., when he reached Mt. Tong’lu. so if baby boy is in terrible condition, barely hanging on, etc., then my immediate favorite option is that he doesn’t, at that time, have even the...uh threadbare sense of self he did in life/as Wuming and is running on only a vague and urgent sense of Something driving him—something he has to do, someone he has to serve—and in that case, the paintings and sculptures are part of his trying to piece together and process his memories as he can grasp them and figuring out who he is/what his purpose is. Is this canonical? PROBABLY NOT. and yet here i am. firmly planted on this hill

Also w/ MTL I think a thing that’s often skated over is the mortals, creation of E’ming, and his ascension. Which is important from a meta lens of Hua Cheng and Xie Lian vs Jun Wu but that’s not the point of this rambling monstrosity and i’m trying not to get too distracted. ANYWAY I think this is one of those times when Hua Cheng does something that he would probably excuse as like “well His Highness would’ve wanted me to” or “His Highness wouldn’t have been willing to sacrifice the mortals” because Xie Lian is still largely his moral compass—but it also is a peek at the complexity Hua Cheng doesn’t acknowledge within himself.

uh i got distracted anyway and no longer know what point i was making here. Hua Cheng Ascension Important....maybe i will remember this at some other point...

POINT 4: Live For Me (Revisited)

I sort of got distracted writing that point but anyway coming back to it now: I maintain that although Hua Cheng’s primary pursuit is protecting and serving Xie Lian he also does develop/realize his Accidental Personhood throughout his 800 years. this includes a lot of things, as previously stated, that are under the guise of serving Xie Lian (I’d put learning the Banyue tongue, finding out about the Gilded Banquet, collecting swords, beating the 33 officials etc., in this category) and things that maybe could be but...are not really (e.g., his friendship alliance with He Xuan, Paradise Manor* in general, the Gambling Den, learning the Wuyong tongue, bullying Qi Rong*, bullying FengQing*, playing with gold foil palaces, etc.)

(*these are ones that like...could be said to be for Xie Lian and I think he might say are for Xie Lian but also have a personal element that is just for him. 

Like yes Paradise Manor is a lavish and well-stocked residence fit for a god or crown prince...but it’s also a luxurious and extravagant collection of all the things he couldn’t have in life. it’s like giving a kid a credit card with no limit and letting them run wild through uh. Fuck. A Fancy Department Store. 

And sure Qi Rong was awful and turned on Xie Lian in pretty damning ways, but I also genuinely think part of Hua Cheng’s grudge with him is from the childhood abuse and from just...hatred that Qi Rong is around and looks like Xie Lian and gets to be there when Hua Cheng can’t find Xie Lian (which is about  Xie Lian but for Hua Cheng). 

Similarly with FengQing, sure a lot of his hate is for them abandoning Xie Lian—but he doesn’t even know till Book 3 when they abandoned him, and consider how much more he hates Mu Qing, the guy he blames for kicking him out of the army, etc. Some of it is totally “in service” to Xie Lian but some of it is because Hua Cheng carries a grudge like a goddamn pro and finds catharsis in beating the shit out of immortals who bounce back and can’t stop tripping over themselves and onto his blade.)

[sloppy-butcher]

Please can you do P, R, L, B, D with Caleb? Forgive that there's so many. Thank you!

thank you for the request bby and so sorry it took so long to get out <3 yeehaw cowboy man :)

;;edit, pls no more fluffy alphabet request thank you :) 

Fluffy Alphabet for The Deathslinger (Caleb Quinn)

Beauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Your hands. The ultimate identification markers of what makes a man, a man. Or well, human. The tools with which greatness can be created and love can be expressed. Caleb absolutely loves your hands and often asks to see them. He likes to have your hands in his in which he can appreciate the size difference between you two (his hands are long and gangly and are littered with a multitude of scars and blemishes). You watch as a smile dusts the corners of his mouth, his eyes downcast and solemn. He lifts your knuckles to his lips and he kisses you gently, the grey hairs of his mustache tickling your skin.

 Hands are what defines a person. It is what made him smart and respected, he used his hands to create his redeemer and brought about justice to the less fortunate. His hands are rough and leathery, the products of suffering and hardship, but yours - oh, how sweet they were. He loves to hold them, loves to look at them, loves to have them slowly caress his body with passion and generosity. 

Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He imagines a small, lonely cabin lost high in the mountains of some faraway country place. The mountains on the horizon stand blue against an endless sky, horses and cows roam the grassy fields around and for miles, the land stretches into the untouched vastness. There is no one near, not a neighbor in sight - just you and him in this sort of ethereal, western dream. 

Winter mornings are spent cuddled by a fire, drinking warm coffee with blankets wrapped around your intertwining bodies. And summers see the two of you riding to the local creek where you swim and frolic like love-sick yearlings. All Caleb has ever wanted was to be alone, to be content in his own identity, and to be free to live life as he wants to. Now with you by his side at this lonesome cabin on the doorstep of the great unknown, he feels that content and is comfortable to simply live and let wilderness flow through him and over his land.

Love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Caleb is a great nihilist; stubborn and bitter to the point of being completely dis-likable. He knows he’s old, he knows he is trapped in a repeating loop where nothing will die and he will never be free and he knows that truly, nothing means anything in this world. He sits alone and drinks, trying to drown the part of him that yearns for meaning, for purpose, for justification of existence. 

What Caleb also knows is that he has a liking for you. He knows that your presence doesn't drive him up the wall and that your soft conversations are the highlights of his day. he knows what he wants and he knows there's no point to pussy-foot around the subject. Caleb asks you straight out if you would be interested in becoming closer to him. He explains that he enjoys your private time together and that he would greatly appreciate it if you reciprocated his feelings. Of course, he doesn’t say it in so many words but you get the picture.

You’re surprised by his forward bluntness and Caleb realizes how sharp he sounds. He softens and moves closer to you, taking off his hat and setting it aside on a table nearby. He lowers his face and kisses the top of your head then he pulls you into him, his arms wrapped around your shoulders trying to drag you deeper into his embrace. It was selfish to hold you before you had even given him your answer but he could not help himself. You could feel the tall man shake slightly as he hugs you, the act being such a spontaneous event that it takes you a few seconds to realize its entirety. Eventually, you manage to slip into his arms and give over to his need for affection. ‘Of course’, you say without words, ‘I love you too.’

PDA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

He would be very upfront about everything. He talks to any and everyone about you, endlessly bragging about what a lucky man he is to have roped such a pretty little thing such as you for himself. Often this gets him in the bad books of the other killers who couldn’t care less about whatever the crazy old cowboy was doing in his free time, but did their threats or disgruntled glares stop him? God no.

He is also very hands-on, slapping your ass at every chance he got and scolding anyone who dared so much as look at you. Someone walks past and offers you a kind wave, you hear Caleb tense his gun and growl. You elbow him in the ribs but he does not falter in his misdirected aggressive protectiveness, blazing daggers after the person then spitting hatefully onto the ground. Only he was allowed to give you goo-goo eyes and he’ll be damned if he lets anyone else so much as try.

Romance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He’s incredibly, unironically, and insufferably cheesy. Caleb was a hopeless romantic before the term was even created - if you looked it up on the dictionary you would find his name in the description. There was just something so wonderful to him about being in love and in being loved, whenever you would stand closer to him or when you would look at him with those mild, affectionate eyes that never dulled or aged, that made him soft and malleable on the inside. It was easy to give in to your fluff and forget, if only for a moment, that he was scarred by life and made to be a monster. 

Caleb likes to get you gifts (preferably something he had handmade) and he loves to give you compliments especially when they borderline being suggestive. 

[chbslove]

i am steter trash so i wrote an au where stiles is a spark that lives in the forest because he killed his dad in an accident back when he was a kid and couldn't control his magic and his moms family was just made up of mages and he is the first one to actually be a born spark with loads of power so she raises him and teaches him everything she knows

and in this au sparks are being hunted and put down like animals so claudia builds a house in the forest with stiles where he can live and study magic on the land of their family and after she dies stiles moves there.

(and yes hes a lot older in this because it makes me antsy to write about eighteen year old stiles and adult peter. sorry. I'm a pussy okay.)

and stiles meets his gang! and scott is a dryad, lydia is a mermaid, jackson and danny are mermen (and jackson and danny are together by the way), i planned allison as a regular human that meets scott on a walk in the woods and falls in love with him later in the story because the hale fire storyline is still happening, and kira is an ancient kitsune who also lives in the forest and is good friends with stiles, and erica, boyd, isaac, liam, theo etc are not there yet but thats cause stiles is pretty alone.

he just minds his own business and takes care of the dryads and meets fairies (who live in the forest) and makes a deal with them that they'll stop screwing around with humans and stay in the forest and he'll protect them and take care of them because sparks are powerful and the fairies appreciate that instead of being afraid of him.

and stiles just does his thing for a couple of years until the fairies go a little bit too far and peter hale, who is stupidly a little too far in the forest on his patrol, gets caught in a storm they cause and gets lost in the woods, and he finds stiles' house and stiles takes him in and gives him dry clothes and then guards him back so peter won't get himself fairy'ed

and then a week passes and stiles is kind of anxious peters family will tell him to fuck off the woods (even though it's stiles' heritage to take care of the forest, the hales just live there) and then: the actual plot

a little apple dryad tells him scott found a dying fairy. this fairy apparently told scott in her dying breath something wolfish killed her, and stiles wrongly thinks peter and his family did that, and he goes to find scott to ask him about it, but scott is just gone. stiles can't find him and gets worried and checks his wards, and when he gets to the wards around the hale property, he meets laura. he asks her if she's seen scott, and she saw him going back into the forest, but stiles still can't find him.

laura leaves and stiles finds the ward to their territory broken, and it stinks like druid, so he figures it was this deaton guy because werewolves aren't sneaky like that.

stiles visits lydia (because he still can't find scott and lydia knows how to calm him down) and finds out jackson and danny saw a monster while making out under the surface of their lake and from then stiles knows that the hales have got nothing to do with this because what lydia describes Is Not a werewolf.

so he gets pissy, and then ultimately is enraged when he finds a dead stag this monster killed, and because he's pissy he visits the hales to tell talia he's rightfully going to kill their emissary for being a bitch and breaking his wards and letting some monster walk his territory.

and talia is all "what the fuck how do i not know you." and stiles is all internally "i see my darling peter kept his promises" and then he's internally like "wait fuck i'm not really in love with this guy am i" and then he's like "oh. OH."

and talia convinces him not to kill deaton because shes awesome and stiles grumpily agrees because... not agreeing would be a dick move and it would mean. War. Basically.

so the hales offer their help looking for scott and stiles finds this monster thing on his search and its a wendigo yay, and scott has been following this thing around for days now because he's a dumbass and wanted to help, and they bro out

and the hales and stiles kill this thing, which means magic action. and stiles is awesome. and everyone knows that now.

what follows is just steter get-to-know-eachother and the hale pack are the biggest wingmen (wingpeople) ever and there's fluff and magic and a lot of flowers because stiles is a person that can't for the life of him say the words "i love you" and gets incredibly anxious when people say "i love you" so he mostly displays his feelings for peter in hanakotoba, the traditional japanese flower language that kira taught him, and peter eventually catches onto that and they get together in a load of angst and fluff and they have sex. because of course they have loads of sex. bold of you to think peter can keep his hands off stiles for longer than a day and likewise.

and there is like a load of stiles/hale pack friendship dynamics because i love them all and then suddenly yeehaw. hale fire.

So paige has already happened in this timeline before stiles and peter met, and derek still meets kate and she does her scum thing and uses him. a bunch of hunters show up to the hale house, shoot them with wolfsbane bullets and gather them so they can burn together.

stiles wakes up in a rush because something bad is happening to his wolves but then his eyes fall closed again and he can't get out of bed for a solid time because someone freaking poisoned him and he's fevering and weak and everything is dizzy, but he forces himself up because something. bad. is happening. to his. wolves. he stumbles into his kitchen and almost dies right there and then, because the poison is wolfsbane and he feels like he got tons of it shoved down his throat by the person that poisoned him. his life starts flashing in front of his eyes and he fights back at it and vomits the wolfsbane out, believes it out of his system and when it's gone, he's just left raging.

because i hate kate, stiles loses control when he meets her at the hale house and kills her. he gets the pack and gets them out of the house, breaks the mountain ash circle and they leave. the hales can't go back to their house because the place is swarming with hunters

and peter and stiles figure out it was deaton who told kate everything she needed to know to set this trap and the mountain ash circle also stinks like druid, so deaton gets revealed as being the bad guy all along. stiles figures that he also poisoned him so he wouldnt interrupt, and that deaton wanted thalias alpha spark. the wendigo was a test and deaton put it there on purpose to see how strong stiles was and if he would care about the hales, because deaton knew stiles would feel the hunters killing them and ever since peter and stiles got together the druid knew he would have to murder him too to get the hales dead.

and stiles is just half feral in his wrath and the aftermath of the wolfsbane poisoning, and derek is sobbing and muttering about this being all his fault, and peter has two bullets stuck in his knees and has to be held up by his niece and his brother-in-law, and every one of them is shot and hurt and crying and talia does her best to comfort derek while shaking as well

and stiles just closes his eyes. takes a deep breath. and takes care of his family-in-law, because fuck if he isnt gonna marry peter after this. he takes them in, gives them clean and comfortable clothes, patches them up, lets them shower, yeets his living room so they have space for a big puppy pile, gives them food and water to drink and then draws a ward around his house that is strong enough deaton won't be able to find them unless he sells his soul to the king of hell.

when he's done with that, he locks the hales in and asks kira to take care of them and make sure they're okay while he's gone. she agrees and stiles goes and because he's angry and kind of more dark than i let slip until now so he just. slaughters the hunters that are left. and he enjoys it.

then he shows up to chris argents house, shocks the living hell out of allison because he's still covered in blood and ash, and goes talk to gerard, who is there for alibi purposes. he just flatly tells the truth and asks gerard how many times they've done this now. and the second the old man lets slip the hales weren't the first, stiles goes full Older Derek Hale Mode and slams him against a wall to threaten the living shit out of the man.

by threaten i mean he says that he'll kill him and there's nothing the guy can do about it, cause stiles will find him, no matter how far he runs. yknow bamf dark stiles shit. i am living for writing this scene right now bye

and then he looks at chris and allison. allison looks scared out of her mind and then she asks if thats true. if her family really did something like that. and chris has to look her square in the eye and tell her through gritted teeth that, altough he didnt know about this, yes, they did that to innocent people.

and stiles looks at chris and gives him a nod, because he knows the guy can get this right, he knows allison is strong and fierce and will be fine no matter what. he looks at gerard and sneers at him in disgust. then he leaves like the dramatic bitch he is, but not without ensuring chris will clean this mess up and make an alliance with talia.

he goes back to the house and the only one still awake is peter, and stiles breaks down completely, covered in blood from head to toe and scared out of his mind too. peter holds him, gently leads him into the shower, and helps him get cleaned up, washes his hair, picks out clothes for him, and they go to sleep together.

then, recovery. stiles organizes therapy for derek because lord knows the boy needs it, he nurses the hales healthy, shows them around in the house, they meet his friends, cora and lydia take a particularly special interest in each other, scott is sad because allison broke up with him but stiles visits the argents and talks to her a lot and they become friends too, and he knows scott will get over her eventually, just as she's getting over him.

and stiles shows the hales his life for a while until everyone is recovered, and then they go back to the hale house that he cleaned up already (because, uh, corpses had to be buried, floors had to be cleaned from blood and the smell of magic and mountain ash had to be erased)

and then peter proposes to stiles and they have a beautiful wedding by the lake where cora can talk to lydia, and derek ends up talking to scott quite a lot because scott is nervous and sweet and falls head over heels for the quiet werewolf, and guess who allison ends up with? nobody. because allison is fucking awesome and in the hunter business and she takes it upon her to start cleaning up the community and goes against hunters that are like her aunt just killing innocent people and a relationship with anybody would just be annoying. maybe she realizes she isnt even into relationships, i don't know that yet. aro ally would be interesting, dude.

And then in the end stiles goes to live with the hales and they mend their territory together so he can still visit his friends and he leaves the house to cora who eventually moves there as an adult so she can live with lydia. he and peter move out as well and they go back to town when stiles is ready, because he's lived so freaking long in the fear someone will hunt him down and kill him for his power, and now everything is peaceful. so he puts down his weapons, stops fighting, and lives happily ever after.

and has loads of sex with peter. just because.

[jalicenetwork]

FANFICS MASTERLIST - ALL DAYS - AO3

Find bellow the cut the links and descriptions to all fanfics posted in our Jalice Week Ao3 Collection. If your fic is not listed here, it has not been added to the Ao3 Collection here. Make sure you add your work to the collection and message us, so we can list it below, new works will be added as they come. Find our Tumblr masterlist for the event here.

So Full of Love I Could Barely Eat by SalmonCenter

A fic for Jalice Week day one! Human/Vampire

Language: English Words: 725

Those Hands Pulled Me by SalmonCenter

Another submission for Jalice Week featuring pickpocket Alice!

Language: English Words: 355

Born to Die by tragicallywicked

Two souls never meet by simple accident.

Language: English Words: 1,753

A Little Chunk of Hope by wehavefound

Jasper Whitlock always loved reconnaissance missions. They were quiet, a chance to get away from the newborn armies for a week or so, find some peace. The universe had other plans for what he should find instead.

Language: English Words: 1,486

After Dark by irrelevanttous

Major Jasper Whitlock encounters three mysterious women on the way back to Galveston. One of them - the tiny one with the short hair - claims she's been waiting for him.

Language: English Words: 1,975

King Of My Heart by allicekitty13

Alice Brandon is a runaway scraping by to survive until the day she meets Jasper Whitlock in a cafe.

Language: English Words: 1,909

Honey Just Put Your Sweet Lips On My Lips by beautlilies

Edward loses control. Jasper struggles with the implications.

Language: English Words: 518

A Garden On My Skin by allicekitty13

In a world where every scar produces a floral mark on the body of your soulmate in the same spot Alice Brandon tries to find the one who's caused her body to look like a garden.

Written for Jalice Week Day 2- Soulmates

Language: English Words: 1,789

Time For You by wehavefound

The matching events were always such a boring affair. Hours upon hours of touching thousands of strangers, hoping beyond hope that this would be the one, that your swirls would light up in a glorious blaze of light and you would know beyond of a shadow of a doubt they were your true other half. After years of events, Alice's swirls remains stubbornly black. Could this event be the one?

Language: English Words: 2,819

My Love is Lying Fast Asleep by mtwalker

Alice sees a boy in her dreams. It can't mean more than that, right?

Language: English Words: 1,098

The Hardest Request by irrelevanttous

Canon Gap Filler set during Breaking Dawn.

Somewhere in South America, Alice and Jasper have a difficult conversation about the future and about what will happen if their search for another hybrid is unsuccessful.

Language: English Words: 3,719

If Only by allicekitty13

After the newborn battle in Eclipse Jasper sneaks away to address his feelings alone.

For Jalice Week Day 3: Canon Gapfillers

Language: English Words: 454

Tale of Years: Prequel One-Shots and Outtakes by Jessica314

It's Jalice Week 2020 and the challenge for Day 3 is "canon gapfiller," so this is the perfect time to write a one-shot that several of you have requested...

Language: English Words: 3,767

Be Still My Foolish Heart by mtwalker

Jasper faces a big turning point.

Language: English Words: 363

I Thought I Dreamed Her by tragicallywicked

She didn’t know how to dance, but I taught her how.

Language: English Words: 991

Awful Heart to Song by beautlilies

whatever you lose, your soulmate finds

Language: English Words: 789

Every Thought of It by beautlilies

jasper hovers. alice doesn't mind.

Language: English Words: 523

I Am No Prophet by wehavefound

When Alice flies to Italy, she takes Jasper's heart with her. New moon gapfiller

Language: English Words: 1,445

A Hundred Indecisions by wehavefound

The house was a tragic place these days, made even more despondent by the sight of his love curled unresponsive for days on end. Jasper couldn't stand it. But he cares for Alice's misery more than his own and so he stays by her side as she mourns

Language: English Words: 1,182

Overprotective Fool by LyricalTwilight

The moments before and during the battle in Eclipse, told from Jasper's POV.

Language: English Words: 2,438

Hell is Just a Memory by SalmonCenter

A fic for Jalice Week Day 4 - Domestic bliss!!

Language: English Words: 507

Lazy Tuesday by allicekitty13

Jasper and Alice enjoy a lazy Tuesday afternoon.

Written for Jalice Week Day 4- Domestic Bliss

Language: English Words: 453

The Eyes That Fix You by wehavefound

In all likelihood, this was the last bit of peace they’d know for a while.

Language: English Words: 886

All Your Fire by tragicallywicked

I was told hell was a place where lust and desire pour in every corner, where my darkest wishes come to live. I didn’t give in to that pull, I was happy in paradise until I met you. since then the real hell is anywhere, it’s the torture of being away from you. I have given up my soul for a second more with you.

Language: English Words: 4,328

I am Tired (Let me Sleep) by SalmonCenter

A fic for Jalice Week day 5- Angel/Demon!!! (Rating is for language)

Language: English Words: 218

Going Down With My Wings On Fire by allicekitty13

In heaven and the underworld, there are rules. One of the most strictly enforced is angels and demons are forbidden to become romantically entangled. Alice and Jasper never stood a chance.

Written for Jalice Week Day 5- Angel/Demon

Language: English Words: 2,396

Taste of Desire by irrelevanttous

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice.

He had not known pain before he met her.

Day 5 of Jaliceweek20, Angel / Demon

Language: English Words: 3,997

Here Beside You and Me by wehavefound

An angel and a demon walk into a bar. They get a drink.

Language: English Words: 1,007

Every Version of Me by beautlilies

the relationship of alice and jasper. what it is and what it isn't.

Language: English Words: 4,815

By Keeping The Divide by beautlilies

jasper does bad things so alice won't have to.

Language: English Words: 395

Sweet Creature by tragicallywicked

Vampires don’t dream or sleep, but Alice will lay on the bed on top of Jasper for hours on end. Her visions of their future together always filling her mind like dreams. He closes his eyes too while his hand runs on her spine, and he can’t see the visions but he can feel the emotions it brings her and that’s like he’s dreaming too.

Language: English Words: 743

Guess I'll See You In Another Life by allicekitty13

Alice has never quite felt like she belonged in her life, frequently dreaming of another life. When she meets a mysterious stranger who seems eerily familiar will she finally get some answers?

For Jalice Week Day 6- Reincarnation

Language: English Words: 4,637

Edge of It All by flowerslut

Jasper never had much control over his life. Why would his death be any different? A human!Jasper x vampire!Alice AU. (First two chapters for Jalice Week 2020)

Language: English Words: 6,552

The Corpse's Bride by flowerslut

When you’re born with a dead soulmate, what more can you do? (For Jalice Week 2020)

Language: English Words: 3,703

Before We Go Backwards by flowerslut

Before departing for the battle in Eclipse, Jasper and Alice take a moment together. The past, the future, and the present: their companions all at once. (For Jalice Week 2020)

Language: English Words: 660

A Thousand Years by tragicallywicked

For a thousand lives she had loved the same man over and over again. Through happiness and loss, until their souls could be together again.

Language: English Words: 3,062

Each to Each by wehavefound

Their love knows only the animal warmth of companionship. Of a soul staring back at the past in suffering and regret until another soul takes them by the hand and leads them into a future brightened by the prospect of together. This is the way it has always been, the way it will always be. This is the dance of souls.

Language: English Words: 4,801

Sweet Home Texas by allicekitty13

When Alice returned to her hometown for her brother's wedding the last thing she expected was that Jasper would have forgotten her completely. When Jasper was driving to his cousins wedding he didn't expect to run into a mysterious girl who knows him, but he doesn't remember her.

With five days before Alice leaves will Jasper be able to figure out who she is and remedy the biggest regret of his life? Turns out there are two sides to every story.

Written for Jalice Week Day 7- YeeHaw

Language: English Words: 6,238

Out of Place by irrelevanttous

Two strangers meet at a bar in a small town in Texas and have a conversation.

Language: English Words: 3,583

Further Than the Grave by mtwalker

While closing the bar, Jasper meets a mysterious woman.

Language: English Words: 1,857

After the Sunsets by wehavefound

In 1923 in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina there are certain standards of decorum a proper young woman is expected to follow. When barefoot Alice turns up on his front porch unattended to inform Jasper that she's expecting to be asked to next month's dance she doesn't follow any of them.

Language: English Words: 2,096

Paper Rings by allicekitty13

Japer and Alice were set to be married in July, but unfortunately, those plans had to be canceled. Alice gets very, very sad, so Jasper has a plan to lift her spirits; no one ever said you couldn't propose twice!

Written For Jalice Week Bonus Day- Quarantine

Language: English Words: 1,395

To Be Alive by flowerslut

A semi-supernatural meet cute. (For Jalice Week 2020)

Language: English Words: 2,436

Another Night by flowerslut

There isn’t much he can do behind his bar. Even with the shotgun he always keeps in arms reach, it never appears to make a difference to the monsters that slink through the shadows, snatching up men and women from their beds as often as they go missing from the streets. It isn’t until a tiny girl appears, telling him that they need to run (away, together, quickly, now) that he realizes a gang of criminals or a pack of wild animals is the least of his worries.

(Jalice Week 2020) + (Whumptober 2020 crossover—No. 5: Failed Escape)

Language: English Words: 5,271

You and I by tragicallywicked

It's been a long time since I came around Been a long time but I'm back in town And this time I'm not leavin' without you.

Language: English Words: 3,764

Time to Turn Back by wehavefound

The house was intolerable these days, the constant storm of fear and despair and desperation was enough to drive him to madness. Never mind that it was like sandpaper on his skin over and over with no blessed escape of sleep to ease the noise and stress and confusion. When Jasper is overwhelmed he seeks refuge in the sanctuary of the forest and when Alice comes to soothe his panic he knows it for an act of love.

Language: English Words: 1,165

Till Death Us Do Part by irrelevanttous

Bonus Day of Jaliceweek 2020: Quarantine

In 1918, Alice Brandon's father hires the son of a local farmer to supply his family with food and the bare necessities while the family is stuck in quarantine.

Language: English Words: 4,664

Ending by SalmonCenter

For the final day of Jalice Week (Bonus Day) Quarantine

Language: English Words: 1,091

Hold On To Each Other by tragicallywicked

Alice and Jasper spend their quarantine together being the lovey-dovey couple that they still are in two thousand and twenty.

Language: English Words: 616

[babbushka]

Fever

Flip Zimmerman X Reader

Sequel to Cabin 

2.6k ; N*FW yeehaw 

                                                    ----------------

When you awoke it was with a slight frown. This was the last morning you and Flip would be at the cabin, the last chance to be completely and utterly together before having to return to Colorado Springs, have to return to life, to work. You didn’t want it to end, didn’t want the fairy tale to be over.

The past three days had been filled with so much fun – fucking yes, all over the place – but genuine fun. Flip had taken you hiking and you had built a snowman and made snow angels and he had hunted and fished for your dinner which you happily cooked. It was so quiet in the mountains, at the cabin, and you didn’t want to go back to a busy life at the library and police station.

As sad as you were, you knew you still had today, the last day before having to pack up and hit the road back home.

You took in a deep breath, let the cool air fill your lungs, crisp and icy, before exhaling slowly. You found yourself laying on your side, with you boyfriend pressed firmly against your back. And it wasn’t just your boyfriend, but his cock, hard and straining, resting hot and heavy against the backs of your thighs from where he had tucked you against him.

Flip had been such a generous lover, during this trip. You’d never been eaten out before in your entire life and suddenly with him it was like the only thing he ever wanted to do. You couldn’t get enough of it, and you were starting to wonder the implications of that – how would you go on without sitting on his face every minute of the day?

Experimentally, you shifted your hips back, wiggled them ever so gently against his crotch. You were both naked of course, lying on the big soft bed in his room, the only sound you could hear was dying embers of the night’s fire crackling and spitting. He grumbled something unintelligible, and you grinned.

He had been so kind, so generous, so hungry for you all weekend – wouldn’t it be nice to return the favor?

Granted, you had only ever sucked his cock once, and it…hadn’t gone well. But Flip only got better and better each time he went down on you, each time he explored your cunt with his lips and tongue and fingers, so you thought, practice makes anything perfect, didn’t it?

“Flip?” You asked, so soft, not wanting to wake him up accidentally. No, you wanted to give him a good morning, a great morning. You wanted to make this last day worth it.

The hardest challenge was getting out of his grip, you found with an amused smile. He didn’t like to let you go, clingy, even at night, even asleep. The more you tried to slip out of his arms, the tighter he wound them shut around your middle. But oh he was so hard the poor thing, so so hard against you. Your mouth salivated at the thought of waking him up with your lips around his cock, and when you set your mind to something, you damn well did it.

Carefully, ever so carefully, you reached behind your back and felt around for his cock. It was practically swollen, and you did your best to stroke him off just enough to bring him to the edge of sleep, to that place in between consciousness and dreams, to where he could let you free for just long enough to change positions.

And it worked, his lips parted with a thick click, arms slackening just just just enough for you to turn around, to kiss down his body like he had done to you the first night at the cabin.

He had such an impressive physique, you thought, all of him muscular and firm. The training at the police academy had done him well, had done him very well. His chest rose and fell evenly, until your tongue and lips and teeth moved farther south, until you were level with his cock, practically hanging off the edge of the bed. You admired him for a moment, the way his strong thighs had a light dusting of dark hair, the way they twitched and tensed.

You ran a finger down his happy trail, up and down, lightly scratching at it. You smiled, it made his cock jump. It was, for lack of a better word, leaking. Pearly white fluid collecting at the very tip of his dick, right at the head there. You continued to trace his lower stomach while you let your tongue lap it up.

It was salty, but not unpleasant, not enough to deter you from continuing to do it anyway. Your other hand came up to hold the base of his cock steady, and you wrapped your lips around the head entirely, just the head, just the tip.

Flip moaned then, his hips pushing upwards in short little bucks, not entirely awake yet. You pulled off of him and smiled, nuzzled your face against his cock, rubbing your cheek against it.

You jerked him off, just enough to get those hips of his moving, to get his brow to pinch in, to get him moaning. You wondered if he thought this was a dream, if he was dreaming of you.

You decided to wake him up for real.

Licking a broad stripe up his shaft you captured as much of his cock as you could, and gave a hard suck and moaned around him, a combination that had his eyes flying open, had his hands shooting down to grab a hold of your head, your hair.

“Holy shit.” His mouth drops even wider, a perfect O as you take in deep breaths through your nose, as you deep-throat him, as you stretch around him.

“Mmmm.” You try your best not to smile, because if you smile you’ll choke, choke on his big fucking cock that you’ve managed to bury nearly all the way. Your hand makes up for the inch or two you just can’t get, and the vibrations of the sound make him thrust his hips more purposefully, more intentionally.

One of his hands grip your hair tight, splays against your skull and closes in a fist to hold you in place as he fucks your face, as he shifts himself so that he can plant his feet on the mattress and use those strong thighs of his to squeeze against your ears.

“Good morning.” He groans, and that makes your heart flutter – because despite how gross you’re both being, how sweaty and slick and spit covered you’re both becoming, he still wants to be sweet with you, still wants to greet you warmly. The greeting doesn’t last long, before melting into incoherent groaning, chest heaving, “Fuck, (Y/N), fuck.”

You didn’t let up, instead you swallowed him down down down, relaxed your throat and let yourself open up to him. You had asked around discreetly, had read illicit books on the subject. You had been determined to get it right, to do “all the right things that will drive your man wild.”

The headline of the article’s didn’t seem to be lying, at least.

Flip was now flushed down to his navel, growling and groaning as he thunked his head back against the pillows, especially when your hand slipped down to stroke at his balls. He moaned long and low as you rolled them in your hand, as you sucked his cock and hummed around him.

He was so fucking big, you kept forgetting that, somehow kept forgetting how long and wide his cock was. It felt incredible while it fucked into you, as he used your face to chase his own pleasure, as he punched the air in and out of your throat in a way that you knew would make you hiccup when you were done, but your jaw was beginning to ache from having it so wide.

The thought of him fucking you made your cunt clench, made you grow wet. The whole time you’d been growing more and more wet, turned on by the size and smell and taste of him. You did your best to press your thighs together, knowing you’d get taken care of soon. Flip was so good at taking care of you, at fucking you blind, at fucking you hoarse. This was for him, your pussy could drool all it wanted, this was for him.

You decided to improvise just a little, and tapped out slightly. You pulled off of his cock with only the smallest bit of a gag as it slid out of your throat, spit stringing all over the place. Flip looked at you with wide eyes, shuffled up the bed to give you more space, to give you whatever you wanted, and when he saw you pushing your tits together he literally took your pillow and placed it over his head to let out a big, “Fuck!”

Mouth free to do as you pleased, you laughed as he rolled you around and around the bed, as he got you underneath him, as you pressed your tits together and he fucked them, slid his cock in between your cleavage, still sticky and wet from your spit.

He was mesmerized by the sight of it, almost as much as he had been with it going deeper down your throat. He watched the head of his cock poking out of the top of your tits, watched as it appeared and disappeared as he ground his dick between your perfect breasts.

Your nipples were hard and the friction was starting to chafe, it was going to leave you red all over. But you knew it was just another opportunity for him to take your tits into his mouth, into his hands, to soothe and calm you once the dirty work had its chance.

“I’m gonna come on your perfect tits,” He warned, looking wild, hair all tossed around from sleep, face blotchy splotchy flushed, lips red and swollen from where he had bitten them while you were busy bringing him to the very brink of orgasm, “I’m gonna come all over you.”

You nodded, licked your lips and arched your back.

“Do it, please – please come on me.” You faulted only for a moment as his hand came down around your throat, holding your jaw, prying your mouth open.

“Will you eat it?” He asked, delirious, hungry, desperate. He was covered in sweat, it was dripping off of him despite the cool air, like he had a fever, like he was sick with his want for you.

“Huh?” You asked, not understanding for a minute, brain addled and dizzy and hazy.

He licked his lips and thrust into your cleavage with a little more desperation, he was getting close, you could tell, could tell by the way his hand squeezed at your throat, how his other hand pinched at your nipple. You wondered if you could come like that, tits fucked raw.

“My come, will you eat it? Can I come on your mouth?” He asked, clarifying, and something about that thrilled you, made your cunt drip steadily onto the sheets and you nodded as best as you could while being pinned down.

“Oh – yes, yeah I’ll eat it, I’ll swallow all of it, give it to me.” You begged, because you would, you would.

And he did, come all over your tits and chin, getting some in your mouth in great big arcs of his come. It was hot, and that didn’t surprise you, everything about Flip was overheated, everything. He came with a long groan, jerked off his cock and aimed it at your lips, as more and more pulsed out of him and onto your skin.

It splattered on your nipples and in the well made by the pit of your throat, and Flip scooped it all up with shaking hands to smear it against your open tongue. Just like the beads of precoma that you had licked up at the beginning of all this, he was salty and tangy but not overly bitter, which was surprising considering what you had read, and how much he smoked.

You lapped it all up, sucked on his fingers to get every last drop. Something in you was sad you were swallowing his come and that it wouldn’t be pumped into your cunt, it almost felt like a waste. Almost.

Speaking of your cunt, Flip tweaked your nipples enough to make your hips lift, and for the first time that morning he had the frame of mind to touch you, to run his fingers through the folds of your pussy.

“Pretty girl, you’re so wet.” He murmured, low and soft and sweet as he pushed those fingers inside of you, big thumb on your clit.

He had learned all your favorite spots over the past couple days, learned exactly where to touch you to make you cry out for him, and he was taking advantage of that.

But he did so leisurely, blissed out and warm from his own orgasm, and that tension only built up your own more and more.

“Let me.” He said, and you gave yourself over to him happily, eagerly, as he latched onto one of your nipples and sucked at your breast while his hand slid nearly all the way inside you, four big fingers curving against your walls. Your hand combed into his hair, held him against your chest as he gripped your hip with his free hand.

You knew that he’d be ready to fuck you for real in no time at all, but there was something dangerously addictive about the steady and sure pace he set. The squelch of it was music to both of your ears, and you moaned for him, for the slow sweet torture that was him dragging out your orgasm as long as he could, before it crashed over you by surprise.

“Fuck.” You gasped out, a sound that he abandoned your breast for, kissed you instead.

The two of you made out for a little while, kissed and slid your tongues against one another, smeared come between you and stuck together with spit and sweat. You kissed and kissed until you both came down from your high, until your bladders demanded attention as did your stomachs.

“Guess what?” Flip asked suddenly, leaving you to crack an eye open at him as he sat up, as he stuck his face up to the window.

“What?” You asked, propping yourself up on an elbow, fully aware of how crazy you must have looked, with your face a blotchy mess and your hair all over the place, tangled and knotted from the events of the morning, bruises and bite marks leftover from the events of the night before.

“We’re snowed in.” Flip grinned, devious, and your heart thudded.

“Oh yeah?” You asked, believing him but wanting to see for yourself, joining him at the window where indeed there was just a great wall of white.

“Yeah. It’ll take an extra day or two for someone to come get us.” Flip said, smoothing his hands down your sides, before pulling you back down to the bed.

“Oh no.” You said with a grin, not displeased at all, that grin turning into a laugh as Flip buried himself under the covers, “Where are you going?”

You found your answer soon enough, as he looped his arms under your thighs and pulled you flush down onto the bed, legs spread for him as he licked his lips, only inches away from your still very slick and swollen pussy.

“You had your breakfast, I want mine.” He said simply, before grinning against you, the two of you thrilled to know that this wouldn’t be the end of your weekend together – not by a long shot.

                                                    -----------------

Tagging some pals lol!  @dreamboatdriver​ @kylo-renne​ @callmehopeless​ @kyloxfem​ @formerly-anonhamster​ @thepilotanon​ @solotriplets​   @fullofbees​ @spinebarrel​ @bourbonboredom​ @driverficarchive​ @rosalynbair​ @redhairedfeistynerd​ @glitzescape​ @adamsnacc-kler​  @ladygrey03​ @venusianmaiden​ marvelous-blog-221 @edwardseyelashes​ @softcrybabykid​ @tinyplanet-explorers​

[entropyfairy]

48 Queer Films

*Warning: Many if not all of these have sexual content of some kind*

Black Queer Media (In Honor of BLM):

Paris is Burning (1990)- Documentary on NY Ballroom culture

Kiki (2016)- spiritual sequel to Paris is Burning

Moonlight- coming-of-age story of a gay black man, named after a notable centaur from Greek mythology. FULL of symbolism.

Tongues United (1989)- Experimental documentary about black gay voices, and how they have been hypersexualized/silenced by both straight and gay white communities.

Noah’s Arc: Jumping the broom (2008)- Two gay black men get married!

Pariah (2011)- coming-of-age story of a black lesbian woman

Rafiki (2018) - Tale of two Kenyan lesbians and their relationship as it intertwines with political crisis 

Inxeba (The Wound) 2017- follows a boy through his Xhosan tribe’s initiation ritual of Ulwaluko, or passage into manhood, in South Africa. Gay relationships and love triangles happen

Blackbird (2014)- A black gay teenager navigates his faith and family in Mississippi

Naz & Maalik  (2015) - Two teenage, closeted, Muslim friends who scheme and are gay for each other

Set it Off (1996)- Lesbians who commit a heist ;) Queen Latifah is there

The Skinny (2012)- 5 Brown university students, four gay men and a lesbian, have fun in NY for a night

The Happy Sad (2013)- The lives of two couples in New York City -- one, gay and black, and the other, heterosexual and white -- intertwine when they explore sexual identity and redefine monogamy.

Cis Gay Male Media:

The Birdcage (1996)- Feels much like a play and is a gay remake of the classic French comedy "La Cage aux Folles". Two gay men, who own a drag club in Miami, must pretend to be a straight couple when their son needs to introduce them to future in-laws, who are conservative republicans.

To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar (1995)- Some drag queens, on their way to a competition across the country, have their car break down in the Midwest. They help a small town and their residents with their problems waiting for their car to get fixed.

Brokeback Mountain (2005)- Two ranch hands have a great time on the range incrementally over the course of 20 years, but they always eventually have to return to their straight relationships. *cries in yeehaw*

God’s Own Country (2017)- a English farmer lives an isolated, unsatisfactory life; until he meets a migrant Romanian worker who helps him find his path.

Boys (2014)- Coming-of-age story about a summer love between two Dutch boys

The Circle (2014)- Swiss Docu-drama set in 1950’s Germany about the secret distribution and publication of an illegal gay male newsletter/journal. Which was a precursor to gay liberation in Europe. It makes me happy and grateful queers can be much more easily connected now.

Mala Noche (1986)- Gus Van Zant’s first film that explores gay relationships that aren’t clearly defined; as well as factors of inequality that stem from language, race, and class.

My Own Private Idaho (1991)- Two gay sex workers go on a road trip, and attract a sugar-daddy.

Mysterious Skin (2004)- Follows the parallel stories of two teens: one obsessed with UFOs, and the other a gay sex worker coming to terms with childhood trauma. WARNING: Sexual abuse

Stranger By The Lake (2013)- A French film that maintains a sense of tension and ominousness throughout, while also subverting the gay cultural expectation of perfectly fit, greek-god bodies. Almost like a gay male re-imagining of Red Riding Hood.

Chinese Characters (1986)- Examines the relationship of gay Asian men with White gay porn.

Happy Together (1997)- The fall-out of a relationship between two gay Chinese men who seek refuge in Argentina

Cis Lesbian Media:

The Handmaiden (2016)- My fav WLW/Park-Chan-Wook film. A Korean con- man tries to marry a Japanese woman to steal her inheritance, but she ends up falling for her handmaiden. BIG dunk on creepy men.

Saving Face (2004)- A Chinese-American woman surgeon falls in love with a ballet dancer. Family drama adds to this forbidden love.

Heavenly Creatures (1994)- Psychological thriller directed by Peter Jackson about two New Zealand Girls who run away to America together

Gaycation (hulu show)- Ellen Page goes to different countries and interview locals on their gays lives/experiences

Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019)- A wonderful and rare film about the female gaze; with a hint of Pygmalion flavor. In 18th century France, a woman is commissioned to befriend and accompany a reluctant bride-to-be by her mother, in order to observe and secretly paint the bride’s wedding portrait for a man in another country. She falls in love with the woman the more she paints her. 

Killing Eve (2018)- A psychological cat-and-mouse show about a MI spy (Eve) and a murderous, psychopathic assassin (Villanelle). They hunt each other and catch feelings as they try to outwit each other. A very fun ride.

Wild Nights With Emily (2019)- Dramatized Bio-film that looks at Emily Dickinson’s life with another woman.

The Ice Palace (1987)- Two 12-year-old Norwegian girls struggle with their forbidden love in the 1930’s 

Show Me Love (1998)- Two girls with polar-opposite personalities navigate teenage drama and their budding love in a small Swedish town 

Thelma (2017)- A Norwegian college student, from a very religious Christian family, experiences seizure-like episodes, only to discover they are psychokinetic abilities triggered by her love for another woman.

Thelma and Louise (1991)- I refuse to believe this isn’t at least lesbian-coded. Two women run away from their shitty lives together, then run from the law when one of them kills a rapist.

Colette (2018)- A talented and successful 19th century writer has a shitty husband, so she sleeps with women.

Fun (1994)- Two mentally unstable girls go to juvenile detention for killing and elderly woman.

Butterfly Kiss (1995)- A bisexual, homicidal woman saves a young woman and accompanies her on her rampage. WARNING: Sexual abuse

The L word (2004)- show about the intertwining loves of lesbian and bisexual women in LA. Prepare for DRAMA!

 Transfeminine Media:

Tangerine (2015)- The life and relationships of a transwoman whose a sex worker

A Fantastic Woman (2017)- A trans woman in Chile must navigate the death of her partner

Flawless (1999)- a transwoman gives a homophobic/transphobic man voice lessons after a stroke. It follows their journey to find a middle-ground and friendship.

She Male Snails (2012)- Experimental documentary by a trans woman. With poetry and thoughts from transfem people in their transitions and relationships

Southern Comfort (2001)- Documentary on the final year of life of trans man Robert Eads as he dies of ovarian cancer. And how it intersects with his friends,family, and partner Lola, a trans woman.

Transmasculine Media:

Girls Lost (2015)- 3 Swedish girls discover a fruit that can turn them into boys for a short time. One of them discovers they only feel right when getting to be in male form.

Southern Comfort (2001)-Documentary on the final year of life of trans man Robert Eads as he dies of ovarian cancer. And how it intersects with his friends,family, and partner Lola, a trans woman.

Tomboy (2011)- A young French girl enjoys dressing and acting like a boy, but adults and her peers are confused and distressed by it.

[prismatic-cannon]

uhm sis (or bro or whatever u prefer i just call everyone sis) pls reblog more fics like i need some good ones and pieces was hella good

Ahhh i’m really glad you like Pieces!!! It deserves more love for sure and the feels are only going to get better I can promise you that hoho \o/ (and I’m good with both sis/bro, I don’t mind either or it’s cool)

So far I’ve been blindly going through the AO3 tags for jojo fics so I’m not sure if my fic recs would entirely appeal to you … but if you’re interested you could definitely take a look at some of these faves! (Do mind the fics’ tags if you’re sensitive to certain tropes) Most of these are going to be heavily skewed towards part 4 and 7 (absolutely no one is surprised), but there’s other parts under the cut too!

Part 2

see you again by efthemia (6k oneshot with background Part 7 ship) - A Caejose reincarnation fic! This is set in a modern day au where Joseph and Caesar meet in another life … by crashing vehicles into each other lol

Can You Ever Go Home Again? by alexclusive (4k oneshot, contains Part 4 spoilers but is mostly centred around Part 2 and 3 characters) - I don’t want to spoil too much for this fic so I’m just going to copy paste the fic’s original summary here: “A few months after his adventure in Morioh, Jotaro goes on another personal errand at the request of his grandfather, and ends up discovering yet another lingering ghost.” A lowkey fix-it with feels!

Part 3

Torture Me by Xyloto (nsfw 2k oneshot) - The SDC gang walks in on jotakak inappropriately using their stands lmaooo enough said

Young Flame by greenteafiend (nsfw 7k multichaptered) - More Jotakak! Takes place during the Devil-Yellow Temperance part of SDC where Jotaro and Kak share that hotel room in Singapore lol

Kiss With A Fist by nevermordor (nsfw 6k oneshot) - Tempers and egos flare between Jotaro and Kakyoin as they make the long tenuous journey to Egypt – Fistfights inevitably happen. I really like how much of a cold hardass bastard Kakyoin gets in this lol

time after time by dimolto (11k oneshot) - TIME LOOP TIME LOOP TIME LOOP!!!! God time loops are one of my favourite tropes of all time, I don’t think I could get sick of it. SDC canon compliant (kinda) – Jotaro is the only person that’s aware of the loop and has to work his way out of it somehow. It’s jotakak too!! Highly rec this fic

Part 4

No place where we can’t go by tjesje (4k oneshot) - Josuyasu! Two dudes slowly fall in love over the course of their summer break. OP really nails the friendship between Josuke and Okuyasu – the banter flows so easily you can’t help but get caught up in how close and in sync they are with each other. Also, the summer vibes are super strong in this fic! Always a big plus with duwang content lmao

electric word life by Fluffifullness (8k oneshot) - More Josuyasu mutual pining + confessions, suuuuper sappy and sweet with some light post DiU angst.

Just Let Me Know, How Do You Feel? by hushroom (6k multichaptered) - Post DiU – Set during their college years, Okuyasu meets up with Josuke for the first time in a while, and they work towards overcoming emotional distance caused by the strain of long distance relationships and misunderstandings. Aged up Josuyasu content is always such a treat and this one doesn’t let down!

Bosozoku Boys by VulpesVulpes (nsfw 4k oneshot) - Takes place a few years after DiU. One night during a sleepover Josuke accidentally stumbles upon a porn mag under Oku’s bed – midnight confessions and feels ensue. This fic always has a soft spot in my heart just because of how vulnerable Josuke gets, argh my heart it aches

Crashing Waves by chamomilekai (7k multichaptered) - Post DiU – Josuke and Okuyasu deal with the lingering effects from the final Kira fight. It’s a slow burn romance with heavy feels where both bros find comfort and support in each other, very delicious part 4 h/c sob x10000

Part 5

the passenger by havisham (nsfw 5k oneshot, contains Part 6 endgame spoilers) - A Brugio fix-it …. of sorts. Ten years after Vento Aureo ends, mob boss Giorno somehow finds himself sent back in time with the opportunity to save Bruno and the others. I really like how desperate and jaded Giorno is in trying to save everyone, and how despite everything things still don’t go entirely the way he wants them to …

DIOmestic by writers_haven (4k oneshot) - Yep, it’s modern au mudad lmao. Some JonaDio here and there but the focus is mostly on Dio+Gio father-son fluff. It’s stupidly cute and there are little nods to canon material that I love to bits, like Hamon being reimagined as a fancy form of new age yoga ahahaha

Part 7

Riches and Wonders by etymology playground (8k oneshot) - A lighthearted gyjo fic that takes place during canon events – Two weeks after Sugar Mountain, Johnny and Gyro spend some R&R at a stand-powered onsen lmao. This was one of the first few fics I read right after finishing part 7, and it really helped to soothe the post SBR pain … not that I’m completely over it yet but then again would anyone ever be lol

Laundry by Petronia (2k oneshot) - Another lighthearted canon gyjo fic with lowkey ust lol – Johnny and Gyro take time between travels to do laundry. Idk, there’s something about gyjo domestic downtime that’s so comforting sob

i’ll see your face again by queenieofaces (2k oneshot, Part 7 endgame spoilers) - Oh boy this one … It’s a reincarnation au where Gyro experiences deja vu and misplaced memories from Phantom Blood and Battle Tendency during the events of SBR. 10/10 lots of feels bc reincarnation aus pair so incredibly well with gyjo gosh

nowhere to go; I’m already inside by librisdedita (31k multichaptered, major Part 7 spoilers all around) - A canon compliant gyjo fic – Johnny’s perspective on life is especially bleak in this one. OP tore my heart asunder by the end of this fic but oh man I wouldn’t have it any other way lmao

Cowboys Ain’t Easy To Love by jotarosgirl17 (36k multichaptered, Part 7 spoilers) - A series of interconnected slowburn gyjo canon compliant fics, suuuper heavy on angst and period-typical homophobia and internalised homophobia. Very good for a cry … or ten lmao

see you when the sun sets east by mourn (nsfw 2k oneshot) - Two cowboys sit five feet apart from each other not talking about their repressed feelings yeehaw. Jokes aside this is a quick but intimately tender glimpse into the beginning of Johnny and Gyro’s relationship

Spin This! by polyphenols (17k multichaptered) - A modern day office au where Diego works at a new tech startup named Steel Ball Run. Honestly, I don’t think I could ever properly articulate how much I love this fic – It’s full of sooo many nods and easter eggs to all the bizarre eccentricities that happen in part 7′s canon, and I think nearly every major/minor character gets featured one way or another, if not all (everyone works in the same horrifyingly open air office space after all). The witty banter and dialogue between characters are so snappy and succinct you can’t help but smile or laugh while reading along. Diego in particular stars as the long suffering Straight Man and audience surrogate into the madness that is SBR, with a lowkey crush on HP that slowly builds as the fic progresses (there’s background gyjo too!). While there’s more of a central focus on Part 7 at first, characters from other parts also make an appearance and gradually become more involved as well. I can’t rec this fic enough!!!

Diamond Ball Run by polyphenols (15k multichaptered, Part 7 endgame spoilers) - A gyjo fix-it of sorts … Johnny takes up Funny Valentine’s offer and asks for an Alternate Universe Gyro. The fic is mostly told from Alt Gyro’s perspective in the later half, and argh this makes my heart ache in so many ways I didn’t know were possible god help me –

happy new year, johnny by 3kanite (7k oneshot, Part 7 endgame spoilers) - Aaaah I just read this one today lmao – The fic is written from Johnny’s POV over the course of several new year celebrations – pre-race and during SBR canon. It really nails Johnny’s characterisations and personality shifts down nicely and makes the last year spent with Gyro that much more bittersweet and heartbreaking oh why won’t these part 7 feels stop coming for me

desperado by 3kanite (35k multichaptered) - Features missing scenes that take place during the events of SBR – Admittedly I’ve only read the first two chapters so far and haven’t fully processed things yet but I’m already so caught up in these pre-slash gyjo feels that I can’t help but rec this one catch me crying behind Owson’s @ 3am bc it’s just that good urgh I need an adult Could possibly be nsfw but I haven’t gotten that far in yet obvs

Aaaand that’s about it for now! Hopefully some of these interested you haha. Go show these wonderful OPs some love because they deserve it!!!

[thedovahcat]

And Then There Was...Wildstar

Since today is the anniversary of the shut down announcement, or at least I think it is, and cuz I’m a copycat and I’ve seen a few people’s introspective posts flying around my dash today, it’s time to add my experience to the pile.

Where do I even begin with Wildstar? It came around during an EXTREMELY volatile time in my life, aka the end of the teens and my early twenties. The real ‘formative years’ if you asked my opinion on it.

I had been an avid WoW fan since I could first play at the age of 13, which had to have been about 2007-2008 abouts. When 2013 or so rolled around, I had been told by friends that a new MMO was coming out, and that it was all space-western-y, my two greatest loves.

Naturally I waited, along with everyone else for a beta, and got in and instantly fell in love with what we’d come to know as Nexus. I was star-struck. The art, the music, the style, the humor, everything hit home with me like no other game had at that point, and I was ready to throw WoW to the wind to go full time and soak up as much of those space rays as I could. And it was even better because it was going to be with friends! I had already established I wanted to bring Rev over and start anew in the Dominion. I had so many new plotlines and ideas whirling around in my head faster than a tornado over a bee farm.

Unfortunately, during this time as well, I saw Wildstar as an escape.

I was being bullied away from WoW at the time by someone who wanted what I had. You think, “Who would do that?? What did they try to do, Dovah?” Many things really. At first they were small aggressions disguised as an interest in trying to befriend me, then that curtain dropped and the aggressions got bigger and bigger.

It was like watching something rot out from the inside. Was I absolutely jealous they were trying to steal a close-now-best friend from me?? Absolutely. I knew it was intentional. I could see it written on the walls. And while I was accustomed to this kind of shit occurring in real life and on the internet to some degree, it only really hurt because for a while, nobody believed me.

Rumors had been planted, people had been told lies and god knows what else, that I was the bad guy of this story. Accused of doing everything that was being done towards me at the same time. It was just another episode of ‘Who Started The Drama’ on Wyrmrest Accord, business as usual amiright?

And I won’t lie, I did try to retaliate several times to stop everything. I got desperate. Said things I meant, said things I didn’t mean, to the point where I couldn’t tell which was which anymore. Everything was wrapped in a huge burrito of panic and fear. And will I be ashamed of that, possibly for the rest of my life? Absolutely positively one hundred percent yes.

After a while, I didn’t fight back anymore. I didn’t make public call-outs, naming names. Sure, did I tell people about it if they asked? Of course, but in private only (because it turned out they too had suffered a similar situation like I was at the time.) Or, sometimes I told people unprompted in private because we happened to talk about our experiences being caught in drama, and I never hesitated to give my side of the story. The side that was RARELY ever heard, to my knowledge. I wanted as many people as possible to know what this person was like and what they were doing to me. For my own sanity, and for the sake of getting the truth out there in some form or another. It was relatively contained as far as I knew, so I rolled over onto my back, ready to accept my lot in life once again as someone’s punching bag because they were jealous of me and what I had and just would NOT go away no matter what happened. Naturally, I thought it really was all my fault that this was happening. We all jump to that conclusion at least once or ten times.

And then came Wildstar, and it had started to look very tempting.

I could start over. I could get away from it all. I could play with my friends ‘in secret’ and not have to worry about being slandered or god knew whatever ELSE had been done at that point on WoW, or wherever else.

Foolish was I to think that my troubles had ended there.

Many people from WoW came to play Wildstar, which was both a blessing and a curse. Moreso the latter in my case.

The person in question found out, began to main the same faction, and just put their hands on everything all over again. I felt as though I had hit a reset button, everything just started over once again. They told people about me, they got me blacklisted and blocked from one of the biggest RP guilds ever to hit the server at the time, and who knows where it branched out from there.

I went silent again. Kind of like a dog with its tail between its legs. The Dominion was no place for me, so, what was I to do?? I didn’t want to abandon this game and world I’d come to love so much in such a short amount of time.

I had never taken an interest in the Exiles. For some reason they hadn’t appealed to me at first. They were the overrated good guys. The underdogs that would always win. I wanted to play the ‘bad guys’ and do my whole spiel about making them more than JUST the bad guys.

But suddenly? As dramatic as it sounds, the Exiles, suddenly sounded very appropriate, in terms of matching up to how I felt.

Exiled. For stupid shit ‘crimes’ I never ‘committed.’

So, I rolled up my sleeves and rerolled Rev’s character, deciding to branch him out in a different direction entirely. I ended up with Roger, and was dumped out into the Gambler’s Ruin, the complete shamble-of-an-arkship. And after that? The frosty bitter cold of the Northern Wastes.

My friend had offered to make another character with me, so that we could play together without being bothered. I had a glimmer of hope. Everything wasn’t over and I wasn’t dead yet (but man did I feel it) and so I pressed onwards.

I saw Algoroc for the first time and all its rolling plains and roans and the mountains and the whole wide open range. It felt so much different than the stormy Levian Bay, or the dark and gloomy Ellevar. The music was lighter, more upbeat, more ‘western’, which is silly because I had stated earlier that that was what I was looking forward to the most. The WESTERN COWBOY YEEHAW aspect of it.

Things were brighter, no less colorful, happier, hopeful. There was SO much land to explore and so many things to do. I was ready. Ready to start all over one more time. So I did.

I made my way through the area, learning about the Exiles and their culture, and the Eldan and whatever sinister happenings they had going in beneath the surface.

Before I knew it, I had reached Thayd, and was absolutely blown away by the size of the city. I was used to large environments from WoW, no doubt. But Thayd felt so interactive for some reason or another. Maybe it was the art style or the NPCs inhabiting it (and the players of course). But it felt alive. There were so many nooks and crannys to get lost in, how will I ever see this whole entire city?? I wondered.

It was a broken mish-mash of all that the Exiles slapped haphazardly together. Different people that didn’t fit together, trying to make something out of lots of little pieces of seemingly nothing.

It was a whole symbolic thing for me essentially.

After that I felt like I was home, in yet another dramatic sense.

Thayd felt right, what with its trashy streets and mismatched themes. Illium and its golden and crimson towers had never struck me as somewhere I belonged.

From that point on, things blur. I explored Galeras after that, introduced to the dire situation that was the Dominion descending upon the Exiles, ready to blast them all to kingdom come to reclaim a planet they believed theirs. I felt the tension, in a good way. It was a great story waiting to unfold, I thought. And I get to see it all from the beginning and be a part of it. I was absolutely ecstatic.

And then, from there, I went to Whitevale. One of the most FRUSTRATING ZONES I will never forget. I don’t even remember why. Maybe it was the size. Over time, I grew to love it in its own weird way, only because I departed for the damn MOON (Farside) afterwards and realized I hated the lack of gravity.

But, despite all. I had so much fun.

I thought about Roger and how he’d come to the Exiles, because I still wanted him to have a connection to the Dominion somewhere. I wanted to try exploring new character tropes and such with him, I wanted to be bold and take chances with ideas and do things I’d rarely seen people do (in my case? Traumatic brain injuries, good going.) I did myresearch, I kept exploring the world, I put all the pieces together little by little and I crafted a story. A story that grew larger and larger and larger and branched out to other characters I created alongside just Roger.

Suddenly I had an entire ‘world’ on my hands. Maybe not one the size of all of Nexus in this instance, but it was ROGER’S world.

I had locations planned thanks to the housing system, I had different story lines going alongside the ‘main one’. Every so often they would mesh and meet up and affect one another, and the ‘world’ would continue to grow from there.

These characters, new as they were, suddenly had lives. They had history, they had jobs, they had all those little aspects of fictional characters that bring them to life. Personalities, likes and dislikes, feelings, all of it. I was no stranger to creating characters, of course they did! In fact, most of them were based off many existing characters I had already HAD, just Wildstar-ified.

Over time, they became their own separate entities, only because they had grown and branched out into different directions I had never dreamed they would.

I don’t remember how long I had been in this enormous creative process of planting my roots. Maybe a year or two? It didn’t really matter. I was having the absolute time of my life.

However, on the back burner I knew all those awful things were still being said about me out there. I continued to play the game and storycraft mostly by myself. I knew if I stayed away from the masses that were WSRP, then no one would ever have any ‘proof’. No one could twist anything I said, or twist interactions I had with people, and use it against me.

You can’t accuse someone of something or things when all they do is play by themselves in their own little box all day long, can you? That was my line of logic.

Naturally I still got blocked from people’s tumblrs and such, which I found out on complete accident when I would try to fav posts. I never showed up to events. I did my artwork and only did artwork of my or my friends characters. Everything was very controlled.

And then one fucking day in August, my name gets tagged in someone’s call out post. At first I fucking panic, because of course. What did I do NOW? I made EXTRA SURE to stay out of everyone’s way. Who could POSSIBLY HAVE A BEEF WITH ME-

I checked the post.

Turns out, I wasn’t the one being called out.

No.

It was that person who’d been HOUNDING me for several years at that point, who was finally being called out.

The original poster had mentioned my name because, according to their words, and I’ll never forget it, ‘they heard through the grapevine’ that all that nasty crap had happened to me. Turns out, I wasn’t the only one who had been treated this way. MANY other people had been. There had to have been a good two handfuls of them out there, maybe more, who had been harassed by this person and their crummy friends. I was named in the post, and all the abuse I had took was relayed to the entire damn community (however it was worded in a way that it had to have been from an outsider’s perspective who’d heard the rumors spread about me, and never spoke to me directly. Cuz I didn’t know ANY OF THESE people and some of the details were wrong...but I digress.)

My business was practically on the front page of the Wildstar and WoW RP community (A smaller portion of the latter.) People had known about what happened to some degree. They had been on the receiving end of these rumors, they heard all the bullshit, they looked me up, they saw I had no dirt to my name. Never did anything to anybody. Maybe some of the stories I had told got relayed to them via playing telephone with other people, I’ll have no real way of knowing for certain.

If people didn’t know me then, they sure knew me NOW, I thought.

It turned into a hot fucking mess after that. People came out with their stories, people got angry at the victims, or at the abuser. There was collateral damage from what I could see from my spot in the corner.

That bad person was supposedly reprimanded by their guild leader for the backlash they received, though I’ll never know how big it actually was. It was probably really small, realistically. But like I said, I don’t know.

It was only then that I was finally believed. Like, completely. There were always little shreds of doubt with people, but this? This blew it out of the water.

I wasn’t at fault. People saw it wasn’t my fault.

I felt…

Liberated?? Like the shackles of this depressive, anxious...whatever DISASTER state I was in, finally broke off. And so QUICKLY too. I didn’t really know what the hell to do. There was nothing I COULD do except move on and try to recover.

It was OVER. It was finally fucking over and I was at a loss, because I had grown used to living in a state of panic and sadness and anger and god knows what else.

So, slowly, I started to.

I came to the conclusion, now that it was over, or ‘over’, I wanted to make some new friends.

Roger and company had already been set up and I found very little wiggle room for collaboration with people I didn’t know. So? What better way to fix that than make a new character to use to reach out to new folk?

I grabbed one of my older characters I salvaged from a falling out I had had before this entire post began, fixed him up and threw him into Thayd face first.

And so was the infamous Captain Yaedra reborn. With an e added to his fake name because it was ‘Yadra’ before, yet for some reason both names are said exactly the same way.

I had no idea what to do with him. I hated elves. I hated long ears. They were boring. Everyone was making them and beautifying them and whatever else. I was salty. I wanted to create a raccoon more than I wanted an elf.

The zombie aesthetic definitely helped me some.

I played through all the Mordesh areas, trying to learn as much as I could about their history, about Grismara, about the Contagion.

A zombie story...it utterly fascinated me. And considering I had not changed Captain’s outfit design from his original self in the slightest? Once more, I rolled up my sleeves and began to craft a world. Another world.

Yaedra’s entire world. And by extension, my own version of a portion of Grismara.

His hometown, his career, his life, his family, every little bit. I brought it all to life once more, and soon found myself living in the ‘past’ as much as I was living in the ‘present’. As far as character timelines go.

During all this, I tried being nice to random people, or I saw art and commented on it, I tried to be more open with the community, I even joined another small guild and in the end I ended up making some really great friends who I still talk to today!

They loved what I had created. And I loved their creations in turn. We formed a tight knit group of ‘heroes’ if you would. Got into all kinds of IC shenanigans. It was fun, it was silly, it was dramatic. I didn’t feel any pressure to be anyone in particular. I felt like I could be myself, and so could Captain. We were where we belonged. And it was fantastic. And still is.

From there, I met some of their friends, and so on and so on, and I did end up gaining a small bit of presence in the community via commissions and doing my own artwork as well. Things were finally nice, and calm.

I felt like I had waded through a war of some kind, and finally, at long last, it was OVER. Peace had finally COME. I had gone through a lot of mental trauma, but as the months and several years went on, I slowly came around. I tried very hard to. My dragon scales grew thicker as time went on, and my flames certainly hotter.

And, after a while… I found myself playing Wildstar less and less. Not because I hated it, not at all. But because it no longer felt like a crutch to me. I no longer felt as though I needed it to stay afloat. I had grown and changed, for the better no doubt. I learned to stand my ground from all the knocks I had taken, I learned to start speaking up when things were being done to me that weren’t right, or nice, or whatever. Did I end some friendships that way? Sadly, yes.

But I was done. I wouldn’t be ANYONE’S punching bag anymore.

The Exiles toughened me up. I wasn’t about to take ANYONE’S crap and neither was Captain. Both of us, fists BARED.

My time on Nexus dwindled even more.

I went back to WoW out of habit, and spent more time there. Soon enough I was hardly logging onto Wildstar at all. Many people were bored of the game’s lack of ...everything. Content most certainly. You could only do the same things so many times. I wasn’t part of a huge RP guild that constantly had events going, though I was by the end (but even that was kind of flakey because people just weren’t as interested in the game as they had once been.)

I hadn’t thought much about my story lines or characters. They had, over time, fallen into situations and such that I had long resolved. My ‘characters’ were tired of adventure and drama, and I wanted to give them a chance to have their happily ever afters, via ‘soft-retiring’ them. I still wrote stuff and drew art on the side, just….less of it.

In the months before Wildstar, I rarely thought about Nexus at all.

Until the horn sounded with Wildstar’s imminent closing.

For months prior to that, I had been sitting and watching. I knew it had been on the way. NC SOFT being...NC SOFT of course (with Carbine’s mismanagement in general, though at the time I did not know about this,) made this more than obvious.

So it didn’t come as a surprise to me.

If anything, I felt a sort of subdued melancholy about it.

If I can compare it to anything, it was like watching a pet or something grow old. There was the initial excitement of a new friend, and the beginning years were amazing and fast and fun filled and emotional. And then over time, things grew comfortable. I didn’t need to give Nexus my full attention anymore. ‘We’ had this ‘understanding.’ I could always go back to Nexus whenever I wanted. I always had a place there waiting for me. Characters, fun, stories, etc.

And then I began to move on.

Wildstar for me was a lot of things. It was a period of mental destruction, it was a period of rebirth and growth for me as a person, it was a reminder of the roller coaster ride that was good and bad times all bundled into one. It was my ‘growing up’ period. It was the rocky road of a transitional phase from the end of my childhood, to the beginning of my adult years.

Yes I know this might sound silly, all over an MMO that barely lasted at all, and the last thing I wanna do is be silly, but it’s how I felt. I’m not going to try to disguise it as something else, because that was what it all was to me.

The months sped by and before I knew it, it was the last day the server was up. Wildstar would be closing that evening or afternoon, or whatever. I don’t recall the time.

I had sat there debating whether or not to attend that final count down.

A part of me wanted to. I wanted to be there, to send off this MMO that had meant so much to me!

But another part of it told me to not go.

In the end, I did not go.

Not because I would be crying, or throwing a fit or whatever.

The main reason I didn’t go, was because I wanted to remember Nexus the way it was. I didn’t want to see people bunched up in one area, being turned into all sorts of critters, I didn’t want the lag to destroy my computer, I didn’t want to see their storm of messages and how sad everyone was, I didn’t want to read the Caretaker’s countdown messages saying how he’d miss us, in his own special way.

To me, all that meant Wildstar was due to die at any moment. That Nexus would suddenly cease to be, that all these things everyone worked so hard on, would just be gone, in the blink of an eye.

I didn’t want that to be the last memory I had of that place.

And so, the shut down came. The night went on.

I woke up the next morning, and everything felt ok, for the most part. Yes I felt like I was missing a piece of myself, but it was a lot smaller than I can say for some people.

The hole I had in my heart had mostly patched itself up with nicer memories. With the possibilities that were yet unexplored.

As far as I WAS, and am, aware? Nexus isn’t dead. Not at all. It’s just sleeping, for right now. It’s taking a well needed rest. It’s not really gone.

All the stories, all the characters, they exist in our head spaces. They still go on. I still write for them occasionally.

If anything, I feel like they have even MORE to explore now.

These days, people are working or playing already on private servers, and while I entertain the idea of joining one or finding another group to play with… Well, that’s all it really ends up being. An idea.

I’m perfectly happy with what I got out of Wildstar, and what I got to take away from it and keep.

I grew as a person, albeit the hard way (but that’s just how it is sometimes.) My creativity grew, my ability to make better stories and characters grew alongside that. I made new friends that I still keep to this day. That bad person got their just desserts and my most-likely-over-exaggerated-because-I’m-sure-people-have-gone-through-worse-torment was finally put to rest. I had more confidence in myself, yada yada… You get the idea.

Everything had resolved, for the most part.

Everything was said and done, regarding that chapter of my life.

And what a ride it was.

BUT I have to say, if there’s one specific thing I favor, that I got from this entire putrid mess that I would do it all over again for??

I got Cap back.

So, thank you for returning my raccoon to me, Nexus. I’ll never forget it. One day when those private servers are finished and the game is mostly restored, I’ll definitely come back to play through it again, and most likely come up with even more new adventures for me to write and explore.

Until then, cupcakes! Dovah signing off on this...eight page story-rant!

[farmcorelynch]

i accidentally wrote a draft for a pynch on a motorcycle across nevada fic but im too lazy to edit it and post on ao3

A/N: based on a really long convo i had with @egosumsomnium , nothing explicit happens but like,, adam has no chill so,,, (might fuck around and make it a proper fic, who knows? i am unknowable yeehaw)

The desert rain is worse than the rain back home, a miracle of impossibility falling from the humid sky and kissing an equally impossible boy. Adam Parrish leaned his damp back against the highway pillar, head tilted limply on his shoulder as he heaved his breath back into his lungs mixed with the pollution of Nevada.

A curtain of the night’s sorrow blankets him, his curls plastered wet on his forehead as he squinted at the barren wasteland of drenched sand and open lightning bolts. There was no one alive tonight but soon he would be one of the two souls in all of americana breathing fresh air, finally awoken from a hazy slumber that was his routined existence.

He fidgeted nervously, restless to satisfy a shameful famine slowly cultivating inside of him the moment Ronan asked him to ride to Nevada with him. Everything about the wait ate him inside out, especially since his desire was so close to being a tangible thing, real and solid for him to hold. He’s been starving for so long.

The world was asleep, the city was awake, and Adam was ready to throw out his sensibility down the cliff’s edge.

The loud rev of a motorcycle engine rips through the sound of heavy traffic above him and Adam rolls his eyes as the black smudge against the night horizon gets closer. A man in a leather jacket and a helmet circling him like a snake going in for the pray, the loud sound of his accelerator piercing Adam’s single functioning ear, making him dizzy and choking him with the smoke clouds that formed from the rubber tires.

“Hey stranger”

“Cycling in the rain is a safety hazard, Lynch”

Ronan rolled his eyes before giving him a smirk as Adam climbed onto the seat behind him, arms quickly tightening around Ronan’s waist and cheek making it’s home on Ronan’s wet back. He passed Adam his designated helmet, the one they both bought together a few weeks ago, before starting up the bike again.

Adam melts into him.

Adam sighed, resting his head in the crevice between Ronan’s shoulder blades, upset that the helmet, the leather jacket and the pouring rain made it harder for him to hear Ronan’s heartbeat as they sped past the welcoming sign to Nevada.

★

They were both countryside boys, the city a foreign land that neither was particularly fond of. It didn’t matter if Adam hated the pollution that attacked his lungs here or if the sounds of human vices were almost overbearing. Passing the bright city lights, Adam fell in love with neon streets and the empty promises of unthinkable wealth flushed against the stormy night sky.

It didn’t matter if heaven was punishing them for their futile devices of emptying their pocket linings in the form of a northern downpour, not when Adam could absorb the heat radiating off of Ronan like a campfire so shamelessly.

The moment they crossed the border together and completely intertwined, they were no longer simple country boys. Although there was still the dirt of Henrietta underneath his fingernails, there was nothing but the image of Virginia in Adam’s soul, the freckles splattered across his nose bridge the only evidence he spawned from hell itself in the shape of a double-wide.

In the city of sin and other mortal temptations, they were nothing but faceless strangers and a pair of burning bodies. Adam could almost imagine they were in love.

★

He was stranded in sin city with the devil, taunting him and his patience with that devious smile laced with poison and ivory. Shark-like, Adam had never seen Ronan like this, dripping with vices and malice. He’s heard the rumours, of course, the first thing Gansey tells him when the other boy introduced the two of them one particularly awful winter evening was that Ronan was dangerous. The red neon lights flash wherever Ronan Lynch went in warning, Adam still chose to prick his hands with thorns and barb wires.

He was a boy made of yellow caution tape and when he smiled at Adam, only one corner of his sharp lips quirking up, Adam could almost imagine the sound of blue and red sirens flashing through his wreckage.

Adam was an apocalyptic wasteland and it was all Ronan Lynch’s fault.

He’s never seen it for himself though, the way Ronan easily parted the crowd like an edifice, a god demanding attention and fear. Adam swallowed dryly as his tattoo seemed to expand with every confident step he took to the bar counter, scrambling quickly to his side.

By the time Adam slides into the empty vinyl seat next to Ronan, Ronan was already drinking a clear glass of liquid gold, gulping poison like it didn’t sting. Adam knew from experience the drink burnt, the frat parties Gansey dragged him to a rollercoaster he chose not to remember, but Ronan swallowed it down like mountain dew. A part of him was irritated his driver was getting tipsy, a much less sensible part of him couldn’t tear his gaze from the imprint Ronan’s lips left on the crystal glass.

“What are we doing here?” Adam sighed, pressing his cheek against the cool surface of the bar counter, ignoring the stickiness on his skin and digging his fingertips into Ronan’s jean-clad thigh.

Ronan gave him a look that made Adam preen, a ghost of impatience chipping at its prison of Adam’s ribcage, ready to break free with every minute Ronan tortured him without his touch.

★

They were heading straight to paradise lost, a private heaven that they artificially created with their own two hands. There’s an invisible rosary made from rose quarts slowly counting down the seconds they had left together, trapping them by the hips and pulling them closer. The beads clashed against each other and echoed as Adam slid his cold hands under the hem of Ronan’s shirt as they conquered miles of asphalt to the nearest closed doors.

Ronan jumped off the bike with a fluid ease that made Adam preen with mindless jealousy, the grind of his hips down on the leather seat leaving him brainless. Ronan watched him intently from the door of their motel room, snake lips wrapped around the bitter tip of a cigarette and sharp cheekbones highlighted by flickering neon lights as old as their combined ages. He looked like Judas then, taunting and ready to destroy Adam to a pulp, with his entire frame bathed in scarlet light. Adam walked towards him without lowering his gaze, accepting retribution wordlessly.

The motel room was expectantly disgusting, unsanitary with the strange musky smell designated to old closets unopened for generations. It looked like a scene to a murder noir with it’s stained blue carpeted floors from the early 80s, the bathtub stained dark with an identifiable liquid and stark wide against the dirty white tiles. It was the perfect place for sacrifice, Adam’s desecration ritual to take place in the centre of the hellhole on a bare queen-sized bed, decorated garishly with cheap dollar store rose petals.

His nose scrunched up in distaste but didn’t mutter a single complaint, too distracted by worse things.

“Charming,” Ronan grunted with disdain from behind him around his burning cigarette, arms crossed across his solid chest. He flicked a rose petal off the bed, eyes burning holes into Adam. Adam scooped a palmful off roses into his hand before pressing his palm against Ronan’s cheek, watching as the red plastic rained from the gaps of their skin. He looked like Aphrodite’s and Ares’ child then, a spawn of love and war, helplessly cruel with the way he loved Adam. The sweet rose petals made him look beautiful in the most violent way brushing over his soldier’s buzzcut. Adam was ruined for anyone else.

Ronan blows smoke into his orbit and Adam catches his bitter lips in between his teeth.

Adam takes Ronan’s wrists between his fingers as they walked towards the bed, mouths still gaping against each other languidly. Ronan shuffled his feet backwards, free hand putting out his cigarette in the ashtray on the bedside table. The inferno underneath Adam’s skin was hot enough without it, a lighter that chased Ronan’s gasoline mindlessly.

There’s a hand cupping his jaw, Ronan’s fingertips brushing against Adam’s curls too tenderly for what they were doing. Adam opened his mouth willingly, snaking a hand down between their burning bodies just to feel more. He was wide awake.

The desert nights were cold, colder than any night in Henrietta, despite the scorching heat in the evening time. In tonight’s twilight, Adam won’t be shivering alone.

Ronan spreads his fingers wide and grips onto Adam’s hips, a vice as their hot breath mingled between them. Heaving chests pressed together, Adam sighed as he pulled Ronan closer by the belt loops.

He was a desert flower, his eyes snake-like and belonging with the hot sand, blue and piercing. Summer was in the air and heaven Ronan’s arms, securing and hazardous. Adam had found religion in the crevices of his mouth, tongues sliding and moving against a riptide.

Adam was sinking his fingers into soft cemetery moss, his teeth nipping at pale skin and blooming violets and lilacs all the way down the hollow column of Ronan’s stretched throat. Adam sunk into Ronan’s artery, feeling the life that sustained him on his tongue and swallowing his heartbeat, poisoning Ronan’s ichor with his own breed of venom. His chin brushes against a cold chain around Ronan’s neck, Adam pushes away the delicate gold cross to sanctify Ronan in his own way, a silent plead for worship.

And Adam saw Ronan bathing on the roof, pale moonlight drowning his already translucent skin. A fall of kings, Adam had repeated history and succumbed into temptation. Inviting shadows to possess him. Ronan danced on his grave.

And Ronan was dragging his face up, tilting his chin so that their breaths mixed again in the same atmosphere, a molotov cocktail that left them both drunk. Their lips brush, softer than Adam expected, softer than Adam thought Ronan was capable of. And from his bruised lips Ronan drew the hallelujah.

He wished his adoration of the other man was capable of fluorescing, bright and obnoxious like the yellow highlighters he used to outline everything he couldn’t understand. He wanted light, light like overly white hospital rooms and light like summertime sweetness. He wanted Apollo to rain his poetry on their withering bodies.

But they were in a lightless motel room, the pale moonlight their only source of illumination, hiding and scared in the shadows of their mutual secret, a secret that required two to keep.

Adam tried to ignore the image of Gansey’s disappointment shoe-horned into his imagination as Ronan let his thighs fall open and bracketed around Adam’s waist, an open early solstice sacrifice.

And when Adam lurched to devour Ronan’s oxygen again as his hungry hands roamed freely along the sharp mountain ranges of the god he loved, an eclipsed occurred where the sun met the moon.

Ronan compared him to the sun sometimes, when they hid from Gansey between classes and Adam taught Ronan how to read tarots he was too impatient to master. He would point to the sun card and the magician card, saying they were the same thing.

Adam didn’t agree.

Ronan was his sunlight, his solar rays blinding and painful to look at. If Adam stared too close, his eyes would water and his skin would dry out. Ronan offered more skin, Adam drank up his light greedily until he was sure all the darkness in him had corroded away.

Maybe they were both the sun and the moon at once, stark different and impossible to tell apart at times. Adam would be the sun if Ronan needed him to, he would be the moon if Ronan asked it from him.

Adam bit into the soft flesh of Ronan’s pale inner thighs, tasting pomegranate and bittersweet torture, Ronan twisting his fingers into Adam’s head of copper curls and twisting them like wildflower stems.

Helpless pressure wrapped around his head and smothered Adam in heat as Ronan cried out awful prayers that belonged exactly here, miles away from any church in the near radius. In that motel room, the two of them had created their own place of worship from nothingness.

Adam had always been an Icarus of a boy, since he was young and fighting tooth and nail to escape the skin and the name he was forced to wear. Now he was sweltering and melting under sharp affection, wings ripping off his back and feathers kissing his skin in the form of Ronan Lynch’s bitten lips.

He left evidence all over the crime scene. Bruises and bitemarks, red railroads and leylines across Ronan’s chest and down his tattoo from his fingernails. He wanted to ruin Ronan in the same way Ronan had ruined him, completely without anything left to salvage, dandelions and baby tears sprouting in the cracks of his dirt-flesh.

In the dark, no one could see the raindrops falling from his eyelashes and streaming down his cheeks like the dead sea. He cried blood when his body was flushed against Ronan’s. He was the worst believer and too good of a martyr.

[red-dead-reader]

Books To Read For Those Who Love RDR2

Okay, so since I’ve finished the game and read through all sorts of fan fiction that I could find, I’ve come to the daunting task of finding romance novels with main male leads that comes as close as possible to my man arthur. I have to tell you all it has been hard! After four books of meh, I’ve finally found one that pleased me not just in the sense of character wise but the writing was good too! So here is my review/ suggestion of the book:

A Soft Kiss In Winter by Lily Graison.

Now this book is definitely for those who like a hunter/ mountain man Arthur type. The main guy, Gideon Hart resembles Arthur a lot! From build to hairstyle to self deprecation, the only real difference would be hair color and a missing past of being an outlaw.

Another thing is that I like the main girl victoria Stanford. She starts off as a damsel but actually tries her best just to survive. Even in her darkest time were she is riddled with fear she still fights to make sure her past mistakes don’t repeat themselves!

Here is a description from the book...

Running away from home to marry the man she thought was the love of her life should have been the happy ending Victoria Stanford expected it to be, but things rarely work out as one plans. When her husband suddenly dies and leaves her stranded in the middle of nowhere, alone and scared, she thinks she’s saved when she sees three men headed her way. Relief turns to fear when she realizes they weren’t the type of men a single woman should trust. When they chase up the side of a mountain and overtake her, she does the only thing she can. She screams and hopes they kill her quickly.

Gideon Hart has spent the last six years roaming the mountain after tragedy changed his life forever. Since then, he’s never encountered another living soul other than his brother—until now. The scream he hears echoing through the trees brings back memories he’s been trying to forget. When he finds a woman being attacked, he does what he has to in order to ensure her safety. Getting her to town should be his only concern but the trek across the mountain with Victoria causes his world to shift and for feelings he’s denied himself for too long to surface. He doesn’t deserve to be loved. With a past like his, no one would love him once they found out what he’d done. Getting Victoria to Silver Falls is the only way to save them both but as the nights grow longer and winter settles in over the mountain, one soft kiss may change both their lives.

Now this novel is a hot romance! The tension and passion that builds from the characters is described very well and when they do finally come together, the imagery is beautiful! Definitely loving, sexy, and hot!

My only down points if this novel would be the ending and Victoria’s ex husband I guess. For the way the story starts and moves forward, the journey is amazing!!!!! I couldn’t put it down! But the ending felt, unfulfilling, it’s wasn’t bad per say, but compared to the beginning to the climax it just didn’t meet the bar. Not to mention I wouldn’t minded another sex scene at the end when our two main characters verbally confessed their love. As for Victoria’s husband, without giving too much away, the author tried to make him seem abusive. It’s hard to describe without giving to much away but to me it felt like something extra that just wasn’t needed.

Overall I give this book 4 yeehaws 🤠🤠🤠🤠 out of 5!!!! Check it out on amazon! There’s a free sample for kindle!