#YOU KNOW HE DOES

[ariaste]

louis was like "this is the love of my life...... the vampire armand....."

and I was like "girl...... you're both bottoms...... traumatized bottoms with daddy issues....... where are ur shitty boyfriends??????"

louis and armand out here having the world's most boring pathetic sex, they're like "we're so healthy, we have grown past our shitty-boyfriend-having phase, now we're always Safe Sane And Consensual 😌 we don't have unhinged sex anymore 😌😌😌" they are going insane. this is why louis is having a mental breakdown. he's been having intensely hinged sex for 77 years, like 100% slow lovemaking with clear communication and so much lube and always "one finger, two finger, three finger, cock" and the traffic-light consent system in place even though they don't practice any kinks that would involve words like "stop" and "hang on a sec" meaning anything but literally that. no one in this house has been rimmed in 77 years. Every night they have a very polite Discussion (it's not an argument, it's not) about whose turn it is to top because nobody here wants to. louis is not built to handle this psychologically. lestat's going to text him "hey mon cher miss u sooooo much i can't live without you, haha i got your number by killing some people at your phone company, actually several phone companies because i didn't know which network you're on, anyway come over and sit on my face WINK WINK i'll do that thing you like so much, you know the one!! the one where you're always like 'ew lestat you're so gross' but then it makes you come so hard you pass out [eggplant emoji, eggplant emoji, water drops emoji, blood drop emoji]" louis is going to see these texts and go into a fugue state and be OUT! THAT! DOOR! in nanoseconds. NANOSECONDS!!!! meanwhile lestat is double- and triple- and quadruple-texting about how he's always wanted to try roadhead and blithely using words like "pussy" in reference to louis' anatomy without asking if that's cool and also sending seven unsolicited dick pics clearly taken in an airplane bathroom

armand has never sent a dick pic in his life, even a solicited one, because it's "crass" and there are "privacy concerns" and he's "unsatisfied with the current standard of end-to-end encryption technology". lestat doesn't even know what end-to-end encryption is, and if he did he wouldn't care about it because "if a hacker is going to all that trouble to look at my nude photographs, louis, i think they've earned them :))) even though they could just follow me on instagram and tiktok or sign up for my onlyfans" this is why armand about to get dumped at terminal velocity. he doesn't even have instagram.

[yomiosatious]

Feeling fucked up inside

[callsignaries]

god knowing what lewis pullman looks like in outer range makes it feel like a damn shame we didn’t get this in top gun bc holy fuck

although on second thought maybe good bc we’d be sluttier for bob then we already are

[phloxsmenagerie]

[chengxiansbaby]

Will Solace watches stocking stuffer videos made by country moms. thats it. Nico hates them tho he finds them annoying and hes like “Will this mom has 3 kids and two of them are toddlers you have no reason to watch this” and Will is like “shut up or else im playing 9 to 5 on repeat for the next week” Nico shuts right up.

[hopeyglass]

[brandonwashere]

Cecil 100% uses so many emojis and emoticons when texting

Example: Thank you!!!!🐁👁🖤🥲😭🦴(✿◠‿◠) ❤(ˆ‿ˆԅ)

[halfelven]

elrond’s like i’m not a king but he’s Lying

king of code switching

[cockworkangels]

dean is trying hurt sam as badly as he can but sam thinks about this every single day probably <3

[bcdluckstumblcd]

I'll finally be home tomorrow ✨

[millificent]

Every Nico Di Angelo fan focusing more on the background of the episode than the actual plot

[artkaninchenbau]

Crocodile finds a strange stray cat an 11-year old Nico Robin (AU where they met 13 years earlier. Robin's been on the run from the World Government for 3 years. Crocodile's 27 and has not set up base in Alabasta yet)

It seems like I have become possessed. By some sort of demon.

Bonus:

[foolsocracy]

identity reveals are always fun

[cozylittleartblog]

"content creator" is a corporate word.

we are artists.

[peacheskoo]

Saw these panels the other day and—

LET JASON BE SILLY YOUR HONOR

He knows he won’t no balls

[chloesimaginationthings]

Gregory believes in the Glammike FNAF theory,,