#You can assign your favorite characters to each letter ^~^

[herrscherofpee]

You're on a road trip to the beach for a belated summer vacation with some friends when suddenly you need to pee. Of course this happens when traffic gets bad, and there's no exit in site, the usual scenario. But this time, it's everyone in the car that's dying for a piss. You have...

Person A, the stubborn one who thinks they can hold it (whether they can or not)

Person B, the resourceful one who grabs an empty cup or bottle to pee in (much to the envy of others)

Person C, the quick thinker who uses their beach towel to piss their brains out (is either the most embarrassed, or the most shameless)

And Person D, who already gave up and wet themselves (*pat pat*, better luck next time...unless you liked doing :P)

Feel free to add more if you can think of any

[malereadermaniac]

ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ Camp Buddy x Male Reader NSFW alphabets

Word Count: 9.2k

Plot: Each character will have 3-4 letters of the alphabet assigned to them (everyone having the letter K , based on the cannon camp buddy journal)

Featuring: Top!Characters x Bottom!Reader Keitaro, Hiro, Yoichi, Natsumi, Taiga, Seto, Aiden, Yoshinori, Naoto, Lloyd, Darius

Note: Kind of a 2k special? But THANK YOU FOR 2K!!!

Warnings: Nsfw / MDNI ~ amab m!reader / FDNI

Keitaro

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Keitaro doesn't have a specific kink that gets him going, if anything, his favourite thing to do during sex is to pleasure you; and if that means participating in any and all of your kinks, he sure as hell will do just that! So really his speciality is having a 'blank slate' or such an open mind - which really is endearing, it makes you feel so comfortable to suggest something new that you'd be into; it's so hot when Keitaro not only shows interest in your kinks but also clearly enjoys them. This innocent man is willing to go from handcuffing you and fucking you until you're overstimulated to letting you get all dominant and ride him to high heaven! Being so flexible in his power dynamics and his fetishes allows Keitaro to enjoy whatever you throw his way, and it makes the sex so fucking good.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Again, due to the brunette's more flexible nature, he'll enjoy anything to do with cum; but that doesn't mean he doesn't have his favourite scenarios. For example, when it comes to his own orgasms, Keitaro really likes the tightness of cumming inside of you; his moans becoming sluttier and his arms wrapping around you to keep your hot, sweaty body against his as Keitaro shoots his thick, pearly white load inside of you, your warm, tight fucking hole clenching around his perfect dick. When you blow him, Keitaro definitely prefers cumming inside of your mouth; its that warmth and that tightness again that really does it for him, Keitaro is usually unable to let go of your hair as he forces you to take him all the way when he lets his hot jizz flow down your clenching throat. On the other hand, when it comes to your own spunk, Keitaro has such a fixation on tasting you... This man will be fucking you until you shoot your load all over your stomach and chest, then he'll slow his pace down to a soft rut into you as he bends down and runs his warm, wet tongue up your body; lapping up all of your cum onto his tongue and playing with it inside of his mouth, giving you a cute smile as he swallows and mumbles 'tasty as always'. And you can imagine that Keitaro's little fixation on your taste increases ten-fold when he's sucking you off or eating you out~

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Once again his open-mindedness really helps Keitaro and you when it comes to where you both fuck! You both prefer the standard bedroom of course, nothing beats the comfort of messing about in your own sheets knowing that there won't be any interruption and that the two of you can get as messy and as loud as you want. Yet, you and Keitaro aren't opposed to some public play, your boyfriend turning out to be quite the tease when at dinner with friends by running his hand up your thigh and eventually just straight-up using your crotch as a stress toy! Fucking in public bathrooms isn't uncommon for you two, you just can't help yourselves! Oh and back when you both met at camp? Poor Natsumi caught the two of you fucking IN THE OCEAN after swimming up to you both because he thought you two were getting swept away by the tide... BUT IN YOUR DEFENSE- giving a blowjob underwater isn't something you can do every day, and Keitaro had never felt so fucking good in his life (although the poor man was worried that you wouldn't be able to breathe).

Hiro

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Foodplay is Hiro's main thing. The man's a cook, what else would you expect? The ginger not only likes to cook for you and watch you enjoy his tasty meals, but when it comes to fucking, Hiro is so into getting messy; and you aren't against it as long as he cleans up afterwards! Hiro's favourite thing to do is definitely to whip up some frosting on the more liquid side and use a spatula to drip it up his naked, muscular body - the white cream contrasting your boyfriend's tan skin very nicely. Then the ginger will entice you to come and lick him clean, his dick twitching at every swipe of your tongue across his abs or his biceps, his pits or even his face; Hiro going feral whenever you smoothly go from licking sweet cream off of his cheeks to kissing him. Hiro also gets going from the praises that fall from your mouth as you enjoy the sweet taste of whatever he's glazed his body in, relishing your praise of his cooking or baking skills by calling the food tasty and calling him sexy. This man is also totally into getting you covered in some food too and worshipping your body along the way. Hiro's favourite sexual experience ever being with you one year on his birthday, one of the presents you gave him being permission for Hiro to decorate you like a cake and do whatever he wanted to; and of course, this horny fucker took you up on that! You had dollops of whipped cream on your nipples with candied cherries acting as the buds, chocolate drizzle down your belly and strawberries on either side of your dick n balls - you looked quite pretty, and god damn you tasted good too! Hiro started by plucking a cherry from your nipples with his teeth (looking hot as fuck while doing so) and then licking down your torso for the chocolate and so on - to summaries, that night went on for a while and a lot of whipped cream had been licked off of your body while Hiro was fucking you, so much whipped cream that four canisters were in the bin the next morning!

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Let's be real here, of fucking course HIRO AKIBA is a goofy motherfucker in bed! Yeah there are serious moments where the man wants to really prove or show his love for you, and in those moments he'll tone down the giggles and touch you more, softly caressing you or holding onto your body as his pace is more slow and romantic; praise is typical in these moments from Hiro. However, usually, your boyfriend is so unserious during sex, he wants to have fun after all! Enjoy the moment with you ya know? Cracking jokes is typical, always timed perfectly and never made awkward; Hiro can always get a laugh out of you, in fact, he's developed the perfect formula to allow him to hear your perfect little giggles and chuckles when he's balls deep! Hiro will start with a compliment to you, and then use some fuckass metaphor or comparison which always makes you laugh: "You're so perfect... ya know... hah.... you're the only thing I ever think about" Hiro would pant in between thrusts "Oh yeah?" you would return, too tired and horny to match his charisma "Oh for sure... Well maybe I think about food more but Ya know!" "Oh shut up... hah" you would laugh and moan at your stupid boyfriend's funny remark

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

This man needs to chill the hell out... Because the way that Hiro can go, and is willing to go (!), until he physically collapses!?! It's worrisome that your boyfriend's brain gets completely overridden by his libido and all common sense and survival goes out the window... Hiro will be in literal pain, his thighs searing in pain and his dick stinging from cumming so many times and he will STILL go for another round if you're up for it! Typically, the two of you can go for a solid 3 rounds; sometimes 4 because your lovable boyfriend's only shortfall is that he barely lasts 10 minutes once he's inside of you (He can't help it! You just feel too good!). But on nights when the two of you are blind-sighted by your infatuation and desperation for one another, Hiro can make up to 9 rounds (shooting literal blanks) before his body literally gives out - but the sleep afterwards is astronomical, I'm talking 15h of sleep, naked and next to the man he loves. Not exactly healthy but that's why the two of you only do something like that extremely rarely.

Yoichi

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

As is common knowledge, most guys who display and value their strength during their daily lives usually have the fattest desire to be fucking dominated - and Yoichi is no different! This hunk has a fat bondage kink to begin with (we're talking latex, ballgags, rope, handcuffs, the whole lot) and to mix that with being told what to do and/or being used as some sort of sex toy by his handsome, sexy boyfriend? Yoichi was a) In love & b) Hard as a rock! It's not like the wolfboy wants to participate in shit like this all the time (it's more of a guilty pleasure than his favourite scenario, this man still loves to be in control!) but Yoichi enjoys it when he gets to be more of a subtop and let you put in some of the work for once! Yoichi fucking loves it when you get him naked, handcuff him to a chair and suck his dick until he cries; his begs for you to stop and his slutty whines egging you one and making your dick hard, and the ego boost you get when you follow Yoichi's request to stop, and the man whines 'nooo' from the loss of pleasure, is great too. Your hunky boyfriend is also suuuuper into having you use his dick like a dildo, he gets so hard watching you tie ropes around his wrists and ankles as you tie Yoichi to the bed, and JESUS when you ride him like that? The man finds it so fucking hard not to cum! The way you use him like some sex toy whilst he can't even reach out to touch you? It shoots his puffed-up ego down so fucking good. Oh! And when you two get freaky with it in this way, Puppyplay is a big thing for Yoichi! Fucking hell, the way you talk down to him and praise him in such a patronising manner makes the man leak gallons of precum from his twitching cock! He loves it when you put a whole leash around his neck and a god damn muzzle on him, a fluffy, long wolf tail buttplug in his ass which you tug on as he fucks you roughly - it's the perfect combination, makes Yoichi cum so damn quick!

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

As you can expect from your rugged and rough boyfriend, this bitch does not shave. Anywhere. It wasn't until you came along that he even started to put effort into his appearance! The two of you wax together as little evening dates, waxing each other in a very domestic manner - but it really is unfair, cause you only get to wax Yoichi's chest n back and that man gets to see you writhe in pain waxing so much more!! But, unfortunately (so fucking fortunately), Yoichi never dares to touch his armpits or his pride and joy (his cock n balls); which leaves the man with very bushy, dark purple armpits and pubes, and we're talking a fucking forest downstairs... And Yoichi is not one to stray away from any form of dominance, so you best believe that your face is smushed into his hairy, sweaty pits a lot of the time and that his musky pubes stuff your nose every single time you kindly give your boyfriend a blowjob. Yoichi likes to show this off too! Flexing his big, manly muscles in a tanktop so that his damp pit hair can make a tiny cameo; or even pulling his bottoms and the waistband of his boxers just a tinge lower so his bush n happy trail are on full display. This man loves to tease you with his sexy body hair, you can't complain though, it gets you going every time!

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Now whilst Yoichi isn't the most sentimental guy out there, he can't deny the fact that he is absolutely smitten by you; so he does show his romantic side more than his 'tough guy' act would like him to. Obviously, when your horny boyfriend wants to either let out some stress or sexual frustration, or he just wants to fuck, you two will be less 'rose petals and wine' about it and just go feral on each other; as in, Yoichi absolutely abuses your prostate with his massive, thick cock as his huge body envelopes yours, his bite marks on your neck and yours on his. But when Yoichi feels the need to express his love for you, he takes it seriously - the man wants you to know that he fuckin adores you! The wolfboy would light some candles for mood lighting and spray himself with your favourite cologne of his, he'd be all up on you once you enter the room and immediately talk to you in such a sexy way: "Thought we could take it slower today, what d'ya think, cutie" And when it's a more 'spur of the moment' thing, Yoichi gets more intimate by slowing his pace down and toning down the roughness, lowering down to make out with you passionately as he gently fucks you in deep thrusts, rubbing his dickhead against your prostate and using his six-pack as a fucking washboard as he rubs your dick between your own stomach and his abs.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

This horny fucker can't function if he doesn't cum by 10am, and on average Yoichi cums twice a day - so if you aren't around to help him out, or just aren't in the mood, of course, Yoichi will have a little time to himself. If you can't be asked to go through all the prep to bottom in the morning, Yoichi usually has to deal with morning wood by himself; which he isn't against, yeah he'd like to have sex with you but this man is surprisingly the king of consent (bare minimum guys don't forget!). Typically, Yoichi's favourite combo during masturbation is watching porn whilst smelling some of your clothing, it helps him to imagine you and him in whatever porno he's jerking it to. But sometimes the man will just go with his imagination, putting you and him the most filthy scenarios in his head as Yoichi closes his eyes and goes to fucking town with a fleshlight. And of course, the man will jack off if you are so kind as to send him some certain types of pictures when you two are apart. The amount of times Yoichi has ran to the bathroom when helping out Yoshinori at camp so that he could jerk off to pictures and videos you'd sent him; his favourites being the ones with you in his clothing, using a dildo or just wanking whilst moaning his name, makes this man throb in his jeans within seconds!

Natsumi

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Something that really gets Natsumi in the mood, and gives him the confidence to show off, is underwear! With his lean, muscular figure and massive package, your handsome boyfriend is the ideal underwear model; he feels confident when modelling different briefs and boxers and jocks for you, liking the way you eye up his huge bulge and slowly get hard, Natsumi stiffening up himself. On the modelling side, Natsumi likes to try on many different types of underwear! Tight, latex speedos make all of the details of his dick visible, from his head to his veins and the small size of them even shows off his pubes n happy trail! Jockstraps show off his muscular ass whilst still giving you a nice view of Natsumi's big dick, the fabric nice and loose allowing his balls to sag and make his bulge look even bigger. Your boyfriend's standard briefs fit him so well, the star pattern getting so sexily distorted from the size of his dick and the fabric being short enough to just tease his muscular upper thighs. Oh and fucking hell when Natsumi models boxers he looks so damn hot, the loose fabric making his muscular body look leaner, and DAMN when he gives you a little peak of his massive cock by slipping it through the front hole?? So hot. This horny man also gets the hots for smelling underwear too! Just cause he seems innocent doesn't mean he can't get perverted! Natsumi gets so fucking turned on when he pushes his nose against your clothed bulge, smelling your natural scent drives him wild as he prepares to blow you. And yes, Natsumi is a little ashamed to admit that he has taken your worn underwear out of the wash basket to hold them to his face whilst jerking off... A pervert in hiding I tell you!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Oh bless Natsumi's little heart - he's so good at aftercare! This man must be an angel sent from above, because the way he will fuck you silly with that massive dick, temporarily paralyzing you from the waist down, and then immediately run a bath and carry you to the bathroom bridal style? Ugh, it just makes you fall even deeper in love with your charming boyfriend! Natsumi's standard routine is very complex and organised; what else would you expect? He starts by letting you both bask in the afterglow and get a breather before reluctantly leaving your side to run a hot bath. Then, you barely even register that Natsumi had left the bed by the time he's wiping your body clean of cum and sweat and then picking you up to take a bath with you; and this adorable man will sit behind you in the tub as he washes your hair and body as he kisses the few hickeys he'd left on you (because this man isn't biting you even if you beg.). By the end of the night, the two of you are in a freshly made bed and cuddling in very comfortable (yet ridiculous-looking) positions under the covers.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Oh and after his whole aftercare routine, Natsumi usually falls asleep so quick; but not before he can watch you fall asleep in his arms, not before he can listen to you calmly breathing and take in the beauty you naturally exude as you peacefully sleep. Very rarely does Natsumi fall asleep straight away, but when he does you can't blame him; it's literally coded into his brain that he goes to sleep at 10pm sharp, so staying up till 12am or 1am to put in a lot of energy whilst fucking can get to him! When he wakes up all sticky and sees you in such a dishevelled state the next morning, Natsumi can't stop apologising for the whole day, listening to you like a puppy in hopes of not upsetting you further (even though you weren't upset to begin with).

Taiga

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Your boyfriend has felt very powerless before when the whole camp hated him, so anything that makes him feel dominant and strong really gets Taiga going; body worship really hits the mark. Taiga prefers you to praise and to focus on his body in the form of massages; your soft hands deeply pressing into your boyfriend's oiled-up muscles, your gentle voice spewing out praises of his body being 'strong' and 'perfect', it gets this man hard within a couple of minutes. Taiga likes to have you on his body, your dick rubbing against his as you massage his fat pecs and your face hovering above his as Taiga focuses on your pretty face - lit candles and aphrodisiac body oil really add to the experience too, oh and when you move on to jerking Taiga off? This man is so shocked he doesn't cum instantly; your oiled-up, hot hand feels like heaven around his cock, and the sight of your semi-naked form servicing him is just such a hot view! When Taiga isn't getting a massage from you, he still likes to incorporate some sort of body worship when fucking you, and he even worships your body too! Praises are common from Taiga as he thrusts into you whilst also licking up to your jaw all the way from your abdomen, your muscles covered in bite marks and hickeys as Taiga praises your body and claims you in the process. When it comes to you worshipping Taiga's body during regular old sex, you love to tease your fiery boyfriend with kisses to his thighs as you call his dick massive and tasty while jerking it off with the spit on it from previous activities with your mouth. When he's balls deep inside of you, you like to hold Taiga's body close to yours with such a tight hold, pushing his muscles against your face as you stuff your face into his pecs or his biceps or his pits, praises and moans falling from your lips and into Taiga's ears, egging your boyfriend on to fuck you even harder.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Humiliation. We all know that men who have big egos during regular life really wanna get beaten down during sex. It's not something that Taiga thinks about often, he's very much a big fan of receiving body worship from you, but a small part of him can't help but send blood rushing down to his dick at the idea of you spewing nasty words his way whilst riding him, or whilst playing with his dick and denying Taiga any pleasure at all. Your boyfriend has caught himself masturbating to the thought of kneeling in front of you completely naked, and you sitting on a chair in front of him as you call him a 'gross pervert' or a 'dirty slut' whilst touching his hard, twitching dick with only your feet - giving him a sloppy footjob to tease your boyfriend as all he can do it kneel before you and take what he's given. Taiga would so be into you spitting on his face as you make out with him, or you riding him like some cheap dildo and ignoring his needs, or you just calling him names as you have him kneel above you on your lap - you still fully clothed whilst you jerk off Taiga with an inhumane amount of lube, the man fully naked and whimpering down to you. But he'd never confess any of this to you! Not unless you walk in on him as he jerks off to porn of it.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Pretty much just you existing and doing fuck all can get Taiga in the mood to dick you down. This man loves you so much and that love can translate to lust rather quickly! Taiga is down to fuck whenever and where ever with you, and he's got the balls to suggest it too. But specific things which gives Taiga the motivation to bed you may include: You talking to any guy other than Taiga for an extended period of time. This man is jealous, and if you give some other dick more attention than you give your perfect boyfriend, Taiga's gonna want to set you straight - and his way of doing so is via filthy, rough sex. Wearing specific types of clothing can also get Taiga going, such as when you wear any of Taiga's sweatshirts or hoodies, no matter if they're bigger on you or too small, the possessive undertone of the action riles your handsome boyfriend up so damn well! And being nice in general can really turn Taiga on; again, love turns to lust real quick with this man, and he's barely ever had people be nice towards him so if you act domestic with him by cooking him a meal or if you perform acts of basic human decency (like asking if you can make his day better?!) it gets Taiga hard real quick.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Taiga's a little bit of both to be fair! It's more of a 51:49 split for fast and rough: Slow and sensual because Taiga loves to show off his dominant side during sex - but there's no doubt that this man just wants to communicate his love towards you during sex as well, so Taiga can be very sensual and take things slow if the moment is right. Your boyfriend really likes to wine & dine you on the weekends, so after a couple of glasses of your wine of choice and an expensive meal, Taiga and you can get very romantical with it; we're talking slow and deep thrusts while making out and 'I love you's' being said every second. The usual fast and rough pace is where the two of you fuck like animals; with Taiga absolutely enamoured by the way you look, the sounds you're making, the way you're biting and holding onto him, just you making Taiga want to keep pushing through any exhaustion to keep pounding into you. Your loving boyfriend doesn't just want to feel you tightly and warmly grip around his dick with your hole, but he also wants to ensure that you're feeling immense pleasure too - so he makes sure to thrust his hips so rough and so deep that you can feel his dick make its way to your belly.

Seto

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Online sex is Seto's biggest turn-on, he just has such a thing for feeling as if you're giving him a private cam show! Your gamer boyfriend loves e-sex with you so much that he's invested in the two of you having separate gaming rooms; just so you both can get a more realistic experience! The brunette loves to hop onto a video chat with you on Discord and start dirty talking as you strip for him, and very quickly are sex toys busted out. The call will usually just consist of the two of you watching each other pleasure yourselves with sex toys as you moan and dirty talk to each other; Seto's personal fave being when you use the cockring he'd gifted you as well as a dildo, he loves to be in control of you even if you aren't in the same room, and how better to do that than control your orgasms! Another kink of Seto's is also exhibition, but not in the standard way. This man loves to fuck you whilst he's on call with friends when playing a game, or when he's in a game lobbies voice chat; it gets Seto going so well. Your geeky boyfriend just loves the fact that those on the other end of the line keep asking if he's all good from the grunts and brief moans he accidentally lets out, oh and he loves to threaten you with the idea of his friends finding out that Seto was currently fucking you in a means to shut you up; Seto never actually tries to get you to be quiet though, he just likes to watch you try and keep your moans in as he lazily thrusts up into you!

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

As previously mentioned, when the two of you have online sex, toys are always brought out; Seto is partial to a Fleshlight of his, and the man really liked it when you use dildos of his size. But during regular sex, Seto is still a big fan of using toys! When it comes to using sex toys on you, Seto fucking loves to use tiny bullet vibrators; this man will tape them to your nipples and keep them on a low vibe the entire time he's fucking you, oh and you will always have one taped to your hard, throbbing dick on max speed whilst a cockring keeps you from cumming! Seto just loves to see the desperation on your face as he fucks you silly. By the time Seto has shot a couple of loads inside of you, his next favourite toy to use is a buttplug, a big one too! It doesn't hurt at all after all of Seto's loosening up of your hole, but damn does it press up against your walls so well, keeping your boyfriend's cum inside of you for a while; that is until he wants to take it out in order to watch his spunk leak out of you. The toys that Seto likes to use on himself are also pretty limitless, but he definitely has a fave - fleshlights. Whenever Seto takes on a more submissive role, his favourite thing you do is when you handcuff/tie him to a chair and torture the poor man with a Fleshlight; using an ungodly amount of lube as you jerk off his dick with the tight toy, but you don't let your boyfriend until he's literally crying for it - it's just so hot, for the both of you!

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

This man is so unfair in bed! If you two are fucking whilst he's in a game, Seto will either have you cockwarm him for soooo long, until you're literally trembling with need for him - or (!) your smug boyfriend will fuck you into a pillow and tell you that if his friends can hear you in the game, he'll stop fucking you; evil I tell ya! When you two are going more vanilla, Seto will still tease you like hell; we're talking stopping fucking you if you're about to cum, and using cockrings to make you a cockdrunk mess as you beg to be allowed to cum! But all of that doesn't mean that Seto doesn't like to be teased himself! We've already established that the man likes to sub from time to time, and the way that you don't let that motherfucker cum for hours on end is quite funny; oh and when you finally let Seto cum, you aren't letting him go until he can't speak due to overstimulation.

Aiden

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

It shouldn't come as a shocker that Aiden has a fat exhibitionism kink; the man struts about with only an apron covering his dick and his ass fully out! You and your freaky boyfriend have partaken in public sex quite a lot due to this preference of Aiden's, you have no qualms about this though; as the thrill of there being a chance of being caught at any second in such a moment really gets you going too. The two of you have had sex not only in the camp kitchen (having almost been caught by many campers and scoutmasters), but also at the beach, in the forest, and even behind cabins! Aiden just gets such a thrill out of it, he wants to show off his body, and your relationship, and the adrenaline pairs so well with the dopamine from fucking you! Musk n sweat is also something that Aiden is quite partial to - your boyfriend is locked up in that steamy kitchen all day, of course, he'll get very sticky and musky real quick! Aiden finds it so hot when you smell his body and lick his tan muscles after a day of work, it's kinda like a body worship kink, but a tad bit more possessive once it comes to Aiden feeling like he's marking you with his scent. This kink goes vice versa too - your sexy man loves to smell your natural musk after a day out in the sun, Aiden fucking lives to press his nose into your crotch during foreplay, so he can fill his nose with your scent.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner��s)

Aiden's favourite body part of his is either his arms or his ass. The himbo is so proud of his bulging biceps and triceps that he can't help but show them off, he even gets turned on by the way that you eye up his tan, muscular arms - the peak of his armpit hair as he flexes his arms like a gymbro really doing it for ya! Aiden is also incredibly proud of his ass; muscular yet still soft and plush, his tan skin accentuating the curve of his cheeks, it's a damn good ass. And most people can tell that the man likes his ass, cause Aiden is always showing it off! No matter if he's in a speedo or an apron, your boyfriend's cheeks always make a debut somehow. When it comes to Aiden's favourite body part of yours, the man can't hide the fact that your thighs are his biggest turn-on. Aiden loves the way that your thighs shape your body, he loves biting on the plump flesh between breaths as he blows you, he loves marking them with hickeys, and fuck does Aiden love gripping your thighs or smacking them as he fucks you! Even when you two are just relaxing, your cute boyfriend's head is either laying on your thighs or squished between them (and when he's giving you such an earth-shattering head that your thighs tighten around his head, it turns the green-haired hunk on so fucking much). An honourable mention to Aiden's second most favourite body part of yours: your mouth. He just can't get enough of how your warm, tight mouth feels around his cock, he loves the way your tongue looks and feels running up his body, and Aiden treats your lips like a drug from the way he gets so addicted to them when kissing you - the man usually turning a small peck into a full-blown make out!

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Come on, Aiden is all about risk! We know that fucking in public is such a turn-on for the man, but that doesn't mean any and all other risk is off of the table. Aiden is usually down to try whatever with you, anything new which you throw his way, Aiden will usually agree to; that's how you two figured out you were both soooo into costumes n role play (and yes, his 'Halloween costume' did infact lead to a 'god-worshiper' roleplay). Choking is something that the two of you have played around with, and the way that Aiden's veiny, tan hands felt around your throat was enough to add that kink to your regular repertoire! If Aiden has to set a limit, his usual would be anything that involves hurting you too much; yes, he's into choking if you're into choking, but even if you ask Aiden to slap you around or hit you, he'd say no. The furthest Aiden goes in the realm of impact play is spanking you whilst fucking or biting.

Yoshinori

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Yoshinori's biggest kink is shit to do with feet; more specifically, his boots. Maybe it's a domination thing, or maybe Yoshi just likes a show, but this man's dick throbs so much when he gets to watch you try to pleasure yourself on his expensive, dirty, leather boots. Yoshinori doesn't even have to move, he gets enough sexual satisfaction from watching you, fully naked, rub your hard, twitching dick against his boot and whine as the friction barely gets you a buzz. That's not to say that Yoshi doesn't like to put effort into himself, this man gets so turned on when he plays with your dick with his boot-covered foot, the rough material making you mewl, your sounds and the view going straight to your boyfriend's stiff cock. Outside of 'boot-play' Yoshi's little kink for feet still runs wild; the muscular scoutmaster gets so riled up whenever you worship his feet, whenever you press your nose against his clothed feet and get drunk off of the scent attached to his steaming socks, whenever you slowly strip his big feet of his damp socks and lick at the sole of his foot and at his toes (Yoshi's veiny, big feet juxtaposing your smaller head cause they're just that big!). Oh, and when you two are fucking? Best believe that your hunk of a man has gotten carried away before from the pleasure of fucking you and positioned himself so that his foot was pushing your head into the bed as he kept on fucking you - the feeling of being so dominated sending shivers up your spine. When it comes to his minor foot fetish towards you, Yoshi has quite the affinity for pushing your feet on either side of his face as he fucks you missionary, your soft soles against his cheeks as he gives you a goofy, satisfied smile with his eyes closed.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Yoshinori will give and take whatever you are happy with; he's got a very open mind when it comes to oral! Your boyfriend is happy to blow you until the cows come home, he gets his pleasure not only physically, but pleasuring you also gets this man going. The dirty blonde likes to start with long, slimy laps at your hard dick, covering your shaft with his warm, thick spit, and then he will take you into his mouth fully and give you some mind-blowing head. Surprisingly, this man can take any size dick in that throat of his, and he puts that to good use; Yoshi usually makes you cum at least once during foreplay, and that is usually with you cumming down his throat within minutes! When you're giving your boyfriend head, he's very patient with you; Yoshinori knows that his dick is big and that it can be a lot to take at once, but damn, when you get that veiny, thick dick into your mouth? This man is a moaning mess, his big hands on each side of your head as his thick, manly fingers weave through your hair whilst you slobber all over his dick. Yoshi loves your blowjobs so, so much, and if it weren't so straining on you, he'd have you blow him much more than you already do (which is usually once per day!) Eating you out is another type of oral that Yoshi is super into; he just fucking loves makin' you feel good! And the sounds you make whilst his hands are parting your cheeks and his hot, thick, wet tongue is rubbing against your walls, they're divine. Yoshi's oral skills are not to be messed around with, this man will have you whining, moaning and panting just from his tongue, and it gets him going so much - Yoshi just loves to satisfy you!

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Yoshinori is quite experienced; he'd dated a guy back in highschool, and during college he'd had sex with both Aiden and Goro at camp, so it's safe to say that the man knows what he's doing! The muscular man knows that he's quite intimidating due to his size (both body-wise and dick-wise), so when you both got together, he ensured to take his time and take it slow with you so that you don't feel rushed. He taught you and guided you if you were unsure or a little behind on certain positions or kinks; and it's safe to say that Yoshi got you up to speed real quick!

Naoto

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

One of your boyfriend's biggest little quirks is his thing for modelling. Naoto gets really turned on when he gets to model clothing for you, or when you're with him at a shoot in which he wears practically nothing; the hunk gets to show off his killer body and gets to watch your cute reactions to his suggestive poses, the man is winning at life! But when bringing modelling into the bedroom, Naoto likes to merge both worlds and to model whilst fucking you; and by that I mean, the man films it. Naoto gets egged on so, so much during sex with you when he grabs his phone from the nightstand and starts to record the two of you going at it. The muscular man gets so turned on from watching you through the phone as the camera shares its focus between his thick cock ploughing into your tight hole, and your sweaty, exhausted body which looks heavenly as you lay on the bed and take your boyfriend's dick like a champ. Of course, Naoto has checked if you're okay with him filming your little escapades and you quickly agreed - not only does it add some more excitement and thrill to the moment, but the both of you then have a spankbank absolutely full of videos of you two. Videos of Naoto moaning your ear how good you feel, videos of the man flexing above you as he thrusts like a maniac, videos of your moans of his name, videos of Naoto's muscles and abs as he gives you a sexy little POV shot, and Naoto's personal favourites: videos of your fucked out body, begging for more as Naoto fucks you, cum oozing out of your soft cock. Those memories will stay with you both forever, and they can get quite cute and wholesome at times; like when Naoto catches the two of you taking a breather and kissing on camera, or brief I love you's or check-ins on how each other are feeling.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

When you proposed the idea of making a pretty penny by selling the aforementioned videos, Naoto definitely wasn't opposed - with the sole condition that the fact that you two are a loving couple is at the forefront of your 'account'. Very quickly, the two of you garnered plenty of views and subscribers to your accounts, with most of your viewers being head-over-heels for the adorable, wholesome dynamic that you and Naoto have - and all of your viewers couldn't deny just how fucking hot the two of you were! Separately and together! Your chemistry with Naoto would subconsciously amp up when filming, and the two of you would vocalise way more than before; because the camera can't catch the knowing looks that you two give to each other, the looks which already say 'I love you' without it having to be said a hundred times. And you can't lie, the money which the two of you make is wild.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Other than the standard avoidance of actually hurting you during sex (and just not being a fan of scat), the main thing that Naoto just wouldn't do is anything surrounding his family/Natsumi (NOT IN AN INCEST WAY!). This goes from PDA to anything more risque, Naoto just gets really awkward around his family when it comes to this kind of stuff; he's had to share a room with Natsumi and has given the younger man shit for jerking off in the same room as him, so Naoto just feels weird kissing you in front of his brother. And whilst the two of you have of course visited Naoto's family home and stayed round, that man has never been so frigid than when sharing a bed with you at his parent's house; he didn't want ANYTHING even remotely sexual to happen under his parent's roof - which you can understand and allocate for, that's why you two fuck like rabbits before a trip to his parents!

Darius

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Size difference is Darius' main thing; he's just so into the fact that he's so huge to you, that he has the power to just lift you with ease, and that you're also so clearly into the fact that he's so much bigger than you, in all aspects. Ever since he was young, Darius had been tall, and after getting older n thinking of his physique, his massive muscles really added to the fact that he was fucking huge in comparison to almost anyone. Your taller boyfriend just loves the fact that you could literally hang from his dick as he fucks you and your feet would dangle rather than touch the ground. Darius is also super into the fact that he's so fucking built and strong that he can effortlessly hold you in his arms or manhandle you during bed; your poor body having been stretched into many different positions after many nights spent with the muscular man. Your dark-skinned boyfriend is also really into how his frame contrasts yours; how your body is smaller when laying on top of him, how your hands can barely grip his broad, defined shoulders, oh and how his dick is so much bigger than yours when he jerks his dick n yours together. Speaking of his dick, Darius gets such a high when he sees his dick make a fucking bulge in your abdomen when he fucks you, his big hands pressing against the spot to make you writhe in pleasure as you spew out moans; the fact that he's so big that he is visible inside of you just boosts his ego so much. His hands are another contributor towards your boyfriend's size kink - Darius is so into the fact that his hand completely covers you whenever he holds it. The muscular man loves how small your hands are against his when he intertwines your fingers as he fucks into you, and he's so into how much smaller your body looks in comparison to his hands when he holds you; his masculine, large hands making your waist look smaller, or your throat, or your dick, or your arms. And you have absolutely no complaints at how large Darius' hands are, his fingers work literal magic inside of you when he's prepping you for taking his huuuuge dick - his digits pressing against and curling into your prostate, the darker hunk milking your dick with a nonchalant smirk on his face as you moan like a whore in front of him.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

In contrast to you, Darius isn't the most vocal lover. It's not that the man doesn't make any noise at all, it's more that he's just a little quiet - or rather he tries to limit himself, hold his noises in. Darius is the kinda guy to grunt n groan your name into your ear, quietly letting you know that he feels good as he focuses on fucking you right, rather than moaning like a pornstar and sloppily fucking you. Small curses in the form of mumbles escape his lips from time to time, usually when he's putting it inside of you for the first time that day; your walls incredibly tight due to the large intrusion. The man's groans also make their way into your mouth when the two of you make out when fucking, Darius' sounds vibrating nicely against your own as your tongues dance together - oh and praises are quite common once the nonchalant hunk loses his little 'idgaf' attitude, his favourite's consisting of "Yeahhh good fuckin boy" and "So good... so pretty". The tables turn once Darius is close to cumming, his efforts to keep quiet getting thrown out the window due to the oncoming waves of pleasure - the redhead's jaw going slack as his hands' grip tightens on your hips, his biceps flexing as his hips thrust into you crazily, vulgar sounds and moans spewing out of his mouth like a tap left running.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

It's no secret that Darius is fucking PACKING; we're talkin 11inches long and 6 inches thick (cannon btw)! The man also uses his dick skillfully; if he weren't as well endowed as he is, your boyfriend would still be able to rock your world every day n night. His dick is the same, dark colour as his skin, with his tip being slightly reddish - the whole shaft has small veins adorning it and his foreskin covers his whole head, the perfectly tight skin protecting Darius' thick tip, his dickhead resembling a mushroom when he's hard; his glands throbbing and ready to be inside of you. The giant's balls also really add to the appeal of his dick; your boyfriend's saggy, big balls hang beneath his dick like a pair of golf balls, and the sparse pubes which cover his nuts decorate Darius' balls nicely. When it comes to fitting his massive cock inside of you, Darius ensures to take his time with you; the first time you two did anything together resulted in many tears due to Darius' desperation to feel you, and your ability to walk was very much impaired for the next day. After a long time of practice with you, Darius now knows your body like the back of his hand, and ergo he knows how to work your body to take his dick; the man will finger you for ages and make sure to ease in slowly, he knows exactly how deep he gets when he sees the bulge in your belly, and Darius will only push your head when you're sucking him off if you give him the go ahead.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Mating press. Need I say more? Yes I do. Your boyfriend's size kink is reflected in all aspects of his life, mainly in small, subconscious manners, but during sex, he very consciously chooses positions which show off the difference in size between the two of you. The fact that Darius can bend your body over into such a meek position as he drills his dick into you ruthlessly really turns him on; it's such a display of power, and it shows off how fucking massive your muscular, dark-skinned boyfriend is in comparison to you, due to the fact that you're almost bent literally in half. The position also really turns you on as well! The way that Darius' rough hands feel on the back of your thighs as he pushes your knees to your chest, the way that the man's handsome, sharp face dangles above you as he fucks you with a sexy smirk on his face, and the way that his dick reaches so deep inside of you and grazes you prostate every millisecond, it's all just too good!

Lloyd

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

CW: piss!!!!

Musk n sweat are definitely some of Lloyd's kinks; the man really gets the hots for when you get high off of his natural, manly scent and worship his body, it makes him feel domianant. He loves it when you sniff his hairy, damp pits after a workout or when you lick his muscles clean of sweat - the man liking the way that your face looks as your tongue rolls over his abs or biceps - and Lloyd gets so fucking turned on when you deepthroat him and all you can inhale is the smell of his musky, thick pubes. Oh, and this short-king most certainly enjoys worshipping your body, your natural scent is ingrained into his brain! Lloyd fucking loves to smell you, he finds some weird comfort in the smell that fills the room as the two of you fuck like animals, and he sure as hell gets hard when he sees you after you've gone for a run; your tank top absolutely drenched and your underwear n socks sticking to you uncomfortably. Your boyfriend also most definitely jerks off to the smell of your clothing or your underwear, he loves to fist at his cock whilst the only thing he can smell is his perfect boyfriend! But one of Lloyd's biggest kinks ever has to watersports - controversial I know! There's just something about dirtying you, claiming you with his piss that really turns your boyfriend on; the perverted man is soooo into you letting him cover you in his piss, in his scent as you jerk off below him; it makes him feel dominant, it makes him feel possessive, it makes Lloyd want to fuck you so damn bad! And the man very much loves it when you participate too; you don't have anything against Lloyd's thing for watersports, but you rarely piss too. This nasty man fucking loves it when you've been fucking for so long, and you've came so many times that all of your boyfriend's rough thrusts into your prostate force you to piss yourself as he fucks you; it happened on accident once, and Lloyd has never been so turned on (BJ Alex ref lol).

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Surprisingly, Lloyd's libido isn't insanely high! Sure, the man will want to have sex with you at least once a week, but he's not desperate to fuck you every second of every day. The two of you average around three times a week, but Lloyd will almost always ask for a second round; to which you always oblige. If Lloyd is particularly stressed due to work, or if he had a shit day, sex is almost guaranteed; you help the man relax, can ya blame him? And also, if you look especially attractive that day, Lloyd is firstly eating you out like a starved man, and then fucking his dick in between them tight walls.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Lloyd has no opinion on quickies. He's not against them at all, if you're horny but have limited time, Lloyd is happy to suck you off real quick and vice versa! However, the short man can't deny that if you are going to do anything, he prefers to take his time with it; Lloyd just really likes to take things slow and enjoy the time he has with you! This man will slowly trail down your body with kisses and mark you and smell you before even whipping your dick out to give you a bj normally, during a quickie he just sucks you off - your boyfriend likes to cherish you, not rush you!

PHEW! That was so god damn long wtaf, I didn't expect it to take this long to write but I'm so happy with the way this turned out! Hope you guys enjoyed too!

I'd also like to thank you all for 2000 followers! I have always and will always primarily write for myself (to provide what I can't find), but it means a lot that so many people enjoy my writing as well! Thank you so, so much for all of the engagement, the male reader community on tumblr is so great - love you all!

[pomefioredove]

You know what would be sad? If you/Yuu breaks up with Vil (or vice versa) and then runs to Rook afterwards. I wonder if Vil is going to feel betrayed again? If you could do a little scenario for this, that’d be great!

this is such a good prompt, I love rebound scenarios omg. needed this today. and here comes rook with the steel chair!!!

summary: getting dumped by vil schoenheit type of post: long fic characters: rook additional info: romantic, established relationship, vil breaks up with reader, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, kinda angsty, hahhhh, my god

"It's not personal. I just don't think it's fair to you," Vil says.

He doesn't fidget. Maintains perfect eye contact. He doesn't even try to act sorry, which, perhaps, is what stings the most.

He's supposed to be an actor, after all.

That's what this is all about.

"You must have always known this was a possibility," he says. "My schedule is getting busier, I simply don't... want to push you away."

Each word is spoken with a honeyed softness, as if he's trying to cushion the blows. It doesn't help.

Your heart thuds in your chest, your eyes burn. This is the worst thing you've ever experienced. You would take a thousand overblots over this. Any day.

What a bitter sentiment.

"You don't mean to push me away. What is this, then?"

A look of guilt finally crosses Vil's face, cracking the mask of professionalism he'd been hiding behind. It offers little comfort.

His brow furrows, and he sighs. "A preventative measure. It would hurt more if I'd waited,"

A million questions fly through your mind, faster than you can catch them. You want to shout, to tell him exactly how he's making you feel, to ask him who he thinks he is- but all you can manage is a stare.

He frowns, extending a hand as if to caress your face, but you turn on your heels and leave before he has the chance.

You wouldn't sit there and let him make a fool of you any longer.

You had become comfortable with the Pomefiore dorm in the past few months, but today, its elegance feels suffocating. The white and gold decor seems to mock you, every vase of perfect flowers laughing at your imperfection as you pass them by.

It hurts.

Stings, burns, makes you feel like you're drowning in a sea of perfume, choking on lilac and rose. Has the air here always been so sickeningly sweet?

There's still a lingering part of you that wants to run back to him, to beg, to negotiate, but you know he's right. You hate that he's right.

This... whatever it was... wouldn't last.

And you'd always known it.

---

How does one recover from being dumped by Vil Schoenheit?

Short answer: you can't.

You can wallow all you want, drowning yourself in the unhealthy foods he forbade you from eating, skipping the classes he'd so encouraged you to excel in, and using cheap tissues on your formerly-perfect skin, but that doesn't change a thing.

Perhaps if it hadn't been so public, you might have pulled yourself together sooner. But the very second all of your pictures were gone from his profile, everyone knew.

On some nights, you'd torture yourself by reading the thirsty comments from desperate fans under his latest posts, all of them pointing out his recent singleness. You would wonder to yourself if you had sounded that pathetic when you were dating Vil.

Just another hopeless, desperate fan, hoping for a piece of him.

People on campus avoided you. Not out of fear, but pity, a lack of knowing what to say. How do you even comfort someone after this?

It was like having an open wound on full display. No matter how you tried to bandage it, it kept bleeding through.

Even Grim was keeping his distance.

What little comfort came in the form of an anonymous knight in shining armor. Roses left at your doorstep, letters of love and encouragement on your assigned seats, little baskets full of your favorite foods and trinkets on your kitchen table...

You would have questioned it if you were not so consumed by your grief. At least the mystery offered a distraction.

"Another one," Ace comments, pulling a letter off your chair before you can sit on it. "Whoever this guy is, he's slick."

He hands you the letter, which you gracefully accept.

Deuce watches cautiously. "And you're sure it's not just... some kinda of prank, right? I've known my fair share of nasty types, this could be a trick."

"Too much effort," you shake your head. "I mean, whoever this is is spending a lot of time and money cheering me up. Not to mention... I've tried looking up some of these poems, and no matches. They're originals."

You wave around the letter in hand, a faint smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Though, I'm sure whoever's doing it is just being nice,"

"Nice. Right," Ace rolls his eyes. "Cause I know like, a million teenage boys who are just dying to write poetry for their friends."

Even Deuce snickers at that. You roll your eyes.

"Point taken. I guess I just can't believe that anyone would want me after..." you pause. There's no pleasant way to put it, so you let Ace and Deuce fill in the blanks.

"Hey, Vil is a jerk. He doesn't deserve you," Deuce says. "And trust me, if I ever catch him disrespecting you again-"

Ace scoffs. "Woah, there, tiger. Calm down. Vil could kick your ass and we all know it,"

"He really was something, wasn't he?" you sigh, slumping in your seat. Ace and Deuce give each other a panicked look.

"We didn't mean-"

"No, I get it," you say, reaching down to the floor in an attempt to touch your toes. Vil had told you that little exercises help calm the nerves. You hate how you still need his advice.

"Oh, hey, look," you sit back up, another pink envelope in hand. "Another one."

---

There's something about these gifts that doesn't sit right with you.

Each one is arranged to perfection, obviously crafted by a very thoughtful individual, just personal enough to suit your tastes but distant all the same.

It's almost as if the sender is holding something back.

But, not today.

You're greeted by a trail of rose petals leading up to Ramshackle's front door, which itself is ajar. Not uncommon, considering Grim's inability to take care of the makeshift dorm, but with the scent of roses and the candlelight inside, you know it's something more.

You walk in, setting your things aside, and continue following the path of petals into the kitchen, where a rickety wooden table has been set for two.

You, however, are the only one in the room.

"Hello?" you ask, turning in circles. The space is empty, save for a small letter on one of the chairs.

Beautiful,

A little bird told me you doubt the intentions of my admiration. I must amend that immediately, and I see no better way than to say it myself.

Yours truly.

"Trickster," a familiar voice comes from the doorway behind you, and you whirl around to face your admirer.

"Rook!" you gasp, clutching the letter to your chest.

He beams in response. "Oui, c'est moi. Though I was so enjoying the mystery, I feel it's time I made my intentions clear. Sit, please,"

You don't hesitate to follow his suggestion (the surprise left your knees feeling weak, anyway), and he joins you in the adjacent seat.

"But what-"

"Please," he says, holding a finger to your lips to shush you. "Let me start. I first want to say that I have meant every single word, in song and ink, that I have given to you. My heart is true."

Your mind is overflowing with questions, none of which he seems keen on answering in full just yet.

"I have spent the past several months allowing our Beautiful Vil to woo you. I have so enjoyed watching your love blossom from afar, despite my own feelings towards you. But things have changed," Rook says.

"For as much as I love him, this was his own doing. He has made a fatal mistake, one which cannot be undone- he has wounded you, mon amour, in a most vulnerable fashion. Months ago, when we both realized our feelings for you, I willingly stepped aside," he says. "I thought Vil would be the best option for you. I thought I was not ready to commit myself. Now I see what a mistake that was, and I hope you might find it within yourself to forgive me..."

You can only stare back. "Rook..."

"I cannot resent our Roi du Poison for his choice, for it's his to make. But he hurt you dearly, and in the process, he has relinquished his claim on you. I know your wound is still fresh. But, please, Mon Trickster, mon véritable amour, be mine?"

You're silent for a moment, processing every detail of what he said, what he's offering...

He's right. The wound Vil created is still open, and despite the weeks of "recovery", had yet to improve.

If you kept waiting for it to heal, perhaps it never would.

You nod. "Okay. Okay! But-! Let's take it slow, okay?"

Rook just barely manages to stop himself from leaping across the table to take your hands into his, and he reaffirms your request with a nod.

"Of course, mon cœur. What is a hunter if not patient?"

---

Pomefiore is beautiful again.

There are still times where you swear you can see Vil staring at the two of you, a look of discontent on his face, from across the room.

He doesn't utter a word about the way Rook has his arm over your shoulder, or the many terms of endearment he uses on you, though he doesn't have to. The lingering guilt and regret has made a home for itself in Vil Schoenheit.

You're sure Rook has noticed by now, too, although this isn't the first time he's pulled something like this on the housewarden without a second thought, and it likely won't be the last.

Perhaps it's for the better.

[homestuckpolyswap]

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[liam-neesons-best-girl]

ღ Love Languages

Summary: The love language of Liam Neeson characters ღ

ICYMI: A love language is the way a person prefers to express their love and or receive it from a partner. There is no one right way to love!

Warnings: f!reader, mdni, 18+

Acts of Service - (Rob Roy)

He loves being the head of the house and the provider for you and your family

He never stifles the chance to do some heavy lifting if it means a happier wife is waiting for him

Pride swells in his chest when he watches the burning logs he chopped hours earlier warm you in the dead of night

Seeing him tend to cattle and use his whip to tame horses stirs something within you

He recognizes the labor you perform in the home and feels like it is only right to take some of that burden off of you

One day he sees you washing pottery and comes up behind you at the water basin to "help" but starts kissing up your hairline

"I'm trying to work here" you giggle out as he wrap his has from around your frame to take the pottery out of your hands to place on the ground

He turns you around to face him, your hands covered in suds, and he looks to you with pure adoration

He thought of the best service he could give you: another child

He wouldn't rest until you were waddling around the house with the swell of your belly serving as a reminder of his love for you - being able to wait on you hand and foot as you make him a father

Quality Time - (Carl Wayne Anderson: Suspect)

You met Carl in the county jail when you were assigned to his case as a public defender

from then on he liked being around you, be it in one on one meetings or by your side during trial

A shy smile is buried under his thick beard when you stay an extra two hours with him to prepare for a hearing the next day

He's learning to write more legibly for trial, for you

You have so much patience, he thinks, never giving up on him when he flips a 'b' to a 'd' or gets made at himself for mistakes and lashes out (never on you)

He feels a warmth that radiates off of you, drawing him closer, feeling less on edge regarding his surroundings and judgmental jurors

You are also one of the only people who keep eye contact with him when speaking. So many people are intimidated by him but you meet his gaze with compassion

When he gets an unexpected visitors notice over the weekend he isn't surprised to see you there with a thick binder of exhibits to go over, takeout food, and a new packet of chalk

Time is always fleeting and delicate, but that pressure was amplified knowing Carl was on trial and risking time in prison

You two never had any short encounters either, always an hour or longer, though he wished you could stay forever

Receiving Gifts - (Capt. Mikhail Polenin: K-19 The Widowmaker)

His long deployments at sea made him yearn for you, day in day out

To serve as a reminder of his faith and his love, he showers you with gifts of all kinds

a necklace with his initial, fragrant perfumes, silky soft nighties, and a gorgeous bouquet of flowers when he meets you at the pier

Nothing is too extravagant for a man who didn't know if he would ever see you again

You tell him he is in your thoughts every day and that you have no eyes for anyone else but he wants the world to know he is your shadow, he is your man by your side or 3,000 miles away

He also sends you love letters as often as he can

They are full of poetry and prayers to see you again

You saved each and everyone of them, keeping them safe in your jewelry box until you can hear him say them to you in person

His favorite gift you have given him was a collection of photographs of yourself. Some are headshots, or from home-movies, not to mention the nude photograph of you wearing his dog tags

You are his gift from God. You are his motivation to complete his mission. You are his motivation to live

Physical Touch - (Hannibal: The A-Team)

The man is handsy and his pent up emotions from training and deployment has him eager to touch you any way he can

He has some restraint when he is around new recruits, trying to show composure as an upper level officer with just his hand resting on the small of your back

He is a bit more loose around his team members, knowing he has earned their respect and won't lose it if they see him slightly simping over you

He'll pull you into his lap instead of a folding chair, insisting that you'd be more comfortable on his lap this way instead of the flimsy plastic

He will twirl your hair or tap a beat to your thigh absent mindedly while listening to a mate of his talk, relaxed in knowing you are there, you are actually there with him

When you are finally alone he will worship you for hours until you are overstimulated and a whimpering mess under him

He doesn't half ass any mission either, so once he has made you cum all night, he will give you the best after care, cuddling you and massaging your sore legs

He loves it when you make the first move and interlock you fingers with his on the walk from base to a pub

Feeling 10 feet tall he strides around base knowing only he can touch you, only he can get close enough to smell your hair, caress your skin, taste your desperation and love

Leaving you is like tearing off a limb for him, but he'll squeeze you tight to embed in his memory your edges, your fit in his arms

Words of Affirmation - (Qui-Gon Jinn: Star Wars)

He lives by his comm link so you never are too far away

You are concerned that your calls are annoying but he assures you are music to his ears to hear about your day, a funny story, or to lull him to sleep with a song

He reads constantly to find new words to express his love for you. Deeper, sensual praise that you could never forget about and have only heard Qui-Gon use

There is never a day when he doesn't say good morning and good night, letting you know you are the first and last thing he thinks of each day

Pet names are reserved for you, rarely does he give that affection to outsiders (he still has love for Obi and Ani)

Praise kink!!

His cadence in bed, the tempo his words follow to punctuate his movements are delicious

When he hears you whimper and thank him for being so caring he thinks he could cum in his pants right then and there

You are in ecstasy when he talks you through your high and climax together

He says "I love you" more often then he breathes, since you are his life line

[mcyt-trick-or-treat]

How to Trick-or-Treat in this Exchange

Sign-ups are just about here! If this is your first time signing up for an Ao3-based exchange, or you’d just like a little more information on how this exchange works behind the scenes, read on. I’ll take the opportunity to explain how sign-ups work and how we’ll be matching and sending out assignments for this year’s Trick-or-Treat.

1. Log into Ao3, access the collection, and click “sign-up.”

From here, we’re going to fill out the form to request the gifts we’d like to receive in our gift basket! Remember, we can only request the tags that were submitted during the nominations period.

I know I’m really excited to hopefully receive Empires SMP gifts this year, so I’ll start there! I select “Empires Season One” in the fandom field, and then I pick out my favorite relationships tags from the drop-down menu (I can search by name if there’s too many to scroll through).

I’m also going to have to select the medium I want to receive. For Empires, I’m happy to get both fic and art, so I’ll check both of those boxes.

Now, I just have to fill in the box to let my gifter(s) know what I do and don’t want in my gift. I’ll make two lists: my DNWs (Do-Not-Wants) and my likes. I’m going to include a few prompts for each relationship tag as well, to give them some ideas!

This is Trick-or-Treat, of course, and I’m a bit of an angst enjoyer, so I’m going to make a note of that in my sign-up. I love bittersweet and open endings, and I’m always happy to receive some whumpy hurt-comfort and sickfic. I’ll let my gifter know that I’d love to receive gifts that fall on the “trick” side or trick-or-treat — but I’d still be happy to receive some happier treats, too!

Remember, your gifters might match to you on just one tag, and they might even all pick to make you something based on the same prompt. So be sure that no matter what you request, you’d be okay receiving up to three gifts based on that thing!

After that, I just have to fill in the rest of my fandoms. Trick-or-Treat requires you to request at least three unique fandoms, but you can put it up to ten of them!

Once I’m happy with my requested fandoms and tags, I’ll move on to my offers.

2. Scroll down to the “Offers” box!

Now it’s time to let the mods know what I’m willing to create for someone else! Just like before, I’m going to type in a fandom in the correct field, select the tags I want to use from the drop-down menu, and check off the correct medium box(es).

For Fantasy SMP, I really only want to make art, because I love drawing fantasy/rpg costumes! So I’m only going to check the art box here. I’m actually also going to check the “Any” box as well instead of selecting individual relationships. That means I’m happy to match on Any of the nominated relationships for Fantasy SMP in the tagset.

And just like requests, I need to offer at least three unique fandoms for my sign-up to be valid. It’s okay if I double up fandoms, though, as long as I request at least three different ones. That’s good for me, because I have to split up my Empires offers!

I feel confident writing about a bunch of characters, but I’d only want to draw some of the other ones and not write about them. So I’m going to offer Empires Season One twice — once with the tags I want to write about, and another time for the tags I want to draw for.

There’s no boxes for me to write anything in, because I don’t have to give prompts for what I’m going to make. I get the prompts instead! That’s how this works.

So I’m all done now, and I can go ahead and click submit to send my sign-up form through to the mods. I can come back and edit it at any point before sign-ups close if I want to change what I’ve requested or offered, or if I want to add more prompts or details. Maybe I’ll even write a Dear-Gifter letter and put the link in my sign-up!

But I’m pretty much done now. So I can kick back, put my feet up, and relax… Until I remember that I’m actually also a mod in this exchange, and I have to go match everyone’s sign-ups now 😱

3. Receive Your Assignments

The mods will work behind the scenes to figure out a list of who everyone is able to create for. We’ll use those lists to figure out our best solution to the incredibly complicated question of “Who are you going to make your gifts for?”

Each participant will be given between one and three other participants that you will then create gifts for. You’ll receive one email from Ao3 telling you your initial giftee, and then you’ll receive a second one from the mod team letting you know if you have any other giftees, and how many gifts you need to make for each person. We’ll include all of the fandoms, tags, and details that your giftees requested, and your required gifts will always add up to exactly 3.

After that, it’s time to put on your creative hat and get writing and/or drawing! When each gift is all done, you’ll post it to Ao3 like usual.

4. I finished making my gift(s)! How do I post them?

Sign into Ao3 again and start posting like you usually would. You’ll need your title, tags, summary, etc. When you scroll down, check the box to gift this work and type in your giftee’s name. Or, if this is your initial giftee’s gift, you should check the box that says “fulfill gift for [giftee’s username]” and it’ll automatically gift it to them and mark your assignment as completed!

Do that two more times, and you’re all done! You did it! You are getting a good job in exchange, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

5. BONUS: I Want To Make More? / I Didn’t Sign Up, But I Still Want To Make?

If someone needs to drop out of the exchange — and hey, no judgment, life happens. Just let a mod know you need to default (drop out and give up your assignment) as soon as possible �� their assignment will still need to be made by someone. That’s where pinch hitters come in! Pinch hits will be shared in the discord with the fandoms and tags requested, and pinch hitters will have the opportunity to claim the hit and create a piece (or three) for it. It’ll be up to you how many gifts you want to take on for the pinch hit!

Pinch hitters are absolutely crucial to any exchange, and especially this one! We would be delighted to have you join us specifically for this role if it’s something you’re interested in.

6. Enjoy your gifts! Sit on the living room floor to dump out your candy basket and sort it into piles with childlike glee!

The collection will be on anon for one week. Creators will be revealed on November 7th! And then the exchange will truly come to an end.

Happy Trick-or-Treating!

[theobscurepotato]

Dear Yuletide Writer 2024

Dear Yuletide Writer:

First off, thank you! I hope you are as excited about your assignment as I am to receive it. Hopefully the lateness of my Yuletide letter didn’t panic you too much! I enjoy a wide variety of fic, and these are truly some of my favorite canons, so really you can’t go wrong...but if you are looking for a spark of inspiration, I hope this letter provides it.  

General Likes/Dislikes: 

Things I love in a Yuletide fic: M/M, UST, hurt/comfort, banter, happy endings. When I look at the canons I chose, one consistent theme is that they all end on a note of hope, yet the characters I chose within these canons don't always get to experience that. I think, more than anything, what I would love to see is a chance for these characters to catch a glimmer of it for themselves (or for each other, in the canons where I've selected a pairing). 

Things I generally don’t like in a Yuletide fic: AU’s set outside of the canon setting (coffee shop, etc), MPREG, graphic gore, body horror, unhappy endings. That being said, if you have a wild idea that goes against these, these are definitely more loose guidelines than DNW’s. 

___

Coldfire Trilogy

Damien Vryce/Gerald Tarrant Not sure if there will ever be a Yuletide where I don't request CFT fic. I do write frequently for this fandom, but just because I write in a certain style, please don’t restrict yourself to my “usual” topics. For this canon especially, I’m excited to read what you want to write.  I’m starting my millionth re-read of the trilogy, so I am excited to read anything set either during canon, or a post-canon fix-it. Give me all the banter. Give me all the UST. Give me Gerald Tarrant doing something kind (while doing mental gymnastics to justify it to himself as FOR SELFISH REASONS ONLY). Give me Damien forgetting to agonize over what GT is and just enjoying a moment with him (bonus points for him Prophet!fanboying). Give me physical contact of some sort between them, give me the soul bond! I ship these two hard, but I am happy to read pre-slash/gen.

Dimension20: Escape from the Bloodkeep

Leiland (Kraz-Thun) I watched Escape from the Bloodkeep 2 months ago(?) and once I was done, I immediately restarted it and watched the series again. Bloodkeep has some of my favorite Dropout cast characters, but of course it was Matt Mercer’s Leiland who stole the show for me. Someone on Reddit summed up Leiland as “All that dark power and regal lineage turned into a benny hill skit” and in response I can only say, that’s exactly why I’m here. I am happy with both pre and post-canon fic, gen or shippy (and not picky on ship). I’d really love to see Leiland navigate how to be Leiland, and not Kraz-Thun, and getting more comfortable in the “evil” found family he has created. Galfast Hamhead, while not requested, is of course 1000% welcome in any story.  Yoroiden Samurai Troopers (Ronin Warriors)

Shuten/Rajura

This was my first real fandom, well over two decades ago now, and Shuten/Rajura was my first ship. I definitely carried a binder plastered outside with the Masho chibi from Amanda Swiftgold’s page and stuffed to the brim with too much printed fic from Mink’s Yaoi Cake archive. This was a rare ship even then, and I am absolutely fine with gen, and fics that include all the Masho. I would of course love a fix-it fic, but I am open to exploring missing canon scenes also. I would enjoy a fic either from Rajura or Shuten’s perspective that grapples with their encounter out on the tracks, and that sprinkles in some of their shared complex history. Feel free to bend canon details in terms of what the armor enables. 

Uprooted

Solya/Marek These two have taken up residence in my brain and will not leave me alone. They truly enable each other in a way that is absolutely toxic, but I would love a fic that lets them attempt to do better by each other. I would prefer that Marek lives in your fic, whether that means exploring pre-canon events, or a missing scene during their story, and I would definitely enjoy a fix-it (just think of the hurt/comfort possibilities!) where they get to figure out their version of a happy ending. How do they navigate a world where they both wield less power? Would they be able to make their peace enough with that to carve out something new? Or would they chafe against that lack of power, and it would be that struggle that entwines them further?

[glindalesbian]

TUP #askgame

Tup is crazy thank you sadie

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

like absolutely yes but I'm struggling to think of an example because everything coming to mind just IS characterization, not my headcanons. hmmmmmmm. I mean I guess one of the simplest is like I do often have hard and fast feelings about a character's sexuality, not always ofc sometimes I'm flexible on things but for example glinda wicked is a LESBIAN she is a L E S B I A N and i am not taking questions at this time!!!!!!

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

this one is FUN okay.

-First fandom I thought of was Stranger Things but this is actually a hard one for me to pick a favorite for because I ADORE the ensemble cast, it would truly be easier to list characters who aren't my favorite. Ultimately, I think I have to go with Eleven as my absolute girl, I love love love her and she makes me cry. I think she is such a fun character because she's like weird and alien and strange and she wants to be loved SO badly she wants to feel safe and cared for and loved and protected, and she has so much love to GIVE in spite of how long she was denied all those things. And she's powerful and scary and awesome. I love a lot of things about her. Shoutouts to my other faves Nancy and Robin, Nancy is truly another all-timer for me I LOVE her character, Robin would be an all-timer if they had kept her characterization from s3 instead of kinda butchering her in s4 <3

-I cannot stop thinking about Sybil Crawley from Downton Abbey in relation to this question so i think i HAVE to mention her. Downton came to me in an era of my life where seeing this cool rebellious forward thinking young woman who was also extremely beautiful and wore beautiful historical costumes and had a sweet forbidden romance storyline REALLY hit for me <3

-Obligatory supernatural mention, another fandom that has soooo many amazing characters it's truly difficult to pick a favorite. I'm torn between the obvious (dean), my fave recurring character (crowley!!!!!!), and some favorite minor characters (charlie, bela). Uhm so all of them i guess. Dean is my truest FAVORITE character from the show because he's The Guy but Crowley is kind of like the Rachel specialty from the show. Uhm hashtag drowley girl. Idk man dean winchester hunts monsters and postures as a super macho guy that's never vulnerable and yet we see how much he cares about kids, how gentle he can be with them and with other people around him, how deeply he loves, his goofy silly sense of humor, his intense moral code and what it takes to break it, IDK MANNNNNN there's a reason so many of us boiled our brains from in the fall of 2020 through the winter of 2021.

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

WELL SO. I JUST WATCHED THE SKULLS (2000) AND I FEEL EVERY FANDOM SHOULD HAVE A SKULLS (2000) AU. Which is to say what if we were in a shadowy secret society at our ivy league school and we were assigned as soulmates and we got locked in a crazy chamber for the explicit purpose of sharing our secrets with each other. and we're both boys.

Send me more letters!

[admiringlove]

i haven’t had time to reblog so i am obliged to send a kinda long ask so here i am!! if this gets cut off bc of my lag & lack of coherency at night i apologize 😭😭🤞🏽

mischief managed!! i love love love how you’ve set up gojo’s character?? the bickering, dialogue, interactions; all of it is soooooo well thought out and i’m over here connecting dots in his mannerisms to see if we’ve made any slight it’s a slowburn yum progress in the relationship HAHAHS the references & parts which are more on the serious side flow and aren’t sporadic!! i luv the character bonds. snape and lily themes and it makes me scream (positive) i adore how you’ve written this (number nth). the contrast in blood statuses, the showing of feelings to each other in different ways, the LETTERS. chapter 4 & 5 competing for my fav so far i swearrrr.

in all! very proud that you try and keep your head high despite all of that nagging anons words (eugh) and i hope you can recover from your burnout smoothly ☝️☝️ super duper proud of you like woah that’s sam that’s my moot wowie

BELL I LOVE YOU :(( thank you so so much for sending this ask i really love when people dissect things i write because i do put in a lot of nuances into it! it took me a while to plot everything and i'm glad people are seeing that and appreciating it <33

ALSO YES i really really loved writing four and five so so much! ngl up until chapter five, chapter two was really my favorite. but now it's five lmao, solely because of the sheer chaos 💀💀

wdsjksk thank you again! i will finish my assignments and then be uploading the next chapter in a few days. i'm super duper grateful for you bell again tysm😭

[felixcloud6288]

I'll throw in a few things that you may or may not know. Some spoilers:

Yes. Your characters keep their original stats when they roleplay each other. This also includes their skills. So if Pascal roleplays Malik, Pascal-Malik now has iron stance when casting.

If you need an item that can be dualized, it's easier to set the materials in the eleth mixer rather than the item itself. So if you need a soaring crystal, you're better off having the mixer make a pretty feather and torn page rather than the soaring crystal itself.

There are several weapon qualities named after previous Tales characters and all of them have secret effects, and not all of them are good. In particular, Guyabulous (noble + cool) causes every hit from a female enemy to inflict petrification 100% and Luketastic (haughty + barbed) cuts damage you do to human enemies in half.

Speaking of qualities, the quality you get when dualizing depends on the qualities of the two items. The normal rule of thumb is if the qualities have the exact same number of letters, you get a quality with that number of letters + 1. For example, "cool" + "cute" = "suave". If the qualities have a different number of letters, then the quality of the new equipment is whichever quality has fewer letters.

Also, each quality you add to equipment creates a running multiplier on the resell value of it and provides an extra resell bonus if it has that quality when it's sold. If you dualized a weapon with a quality that increases sell price by 2.5x and then dualize it with another quality that increases it by 2x, then the total price is now 5x the base value.

In general, higher letter qualities sell better. But one exception is 9-letter qualities like "easygoing" or "tolerable". Some may have worthwhile stat boosts but they all decrease the resell value of the item.

Every character has a title for playing as them for a certain number of fights. That title gives you aerial recovery and lets your casters do a red charge while casting. If you equip the title, it increases the damage of your mystic artes.

Everyone also has a title for eating their favorite foods (Asbel: curry, Sophie: crablettes, Hubert: rice omelette, Cheria: Grilled chicken bowl, Malik: sea bream porridge, Pascal: Banana pie, Richard: Natto on toast). Equipping these titles make it possible for their favorite dishes to proc in battle without having to assign them to the eleth mixer.

If you save all your crafting materials and sellable items to until you get to Lhant in chapter 2, you may be able to level the Lhant shops enough to get Cheria's battle knives. If you then save everything you accrue until you get to Gralesyde, you should be able to level the Gralesyde shops enough to get Asbel's Battle Sword.

The CPU party members never use any of the "hold the A-Arte button to use" artes with the exception of Hubert's Vital Flair. If you want to unlock all the titles, you have to grind those moves manually.

The Rockagong can be cheesed with a party of Cheria and three Maliks. There's a spot on the back-left section of the map where literally none of the rockagong's attacks can hit. If you play as Cheria and move her there, you can cast any offensive/healing spells you want.

Every party member has unique dialogue if you beat Lambda Angelus with their mystic arte. And Malik and Sophie have a special post-battle dialogue in Lineage & Legacy if Malik beat Lambda with his Mystic Arte and then uses it in a fight.

If you beat the final boss of the post-game bonus dungeon, you'll unlock a new final boss.

A few things I learned in my 2nd Graces playthrough:

There's a lot of basic stuff I didn't get the first time, like half of the crystals you need to dualize better weapons/armor (which in turn need to be made using materials from specific discovery points like Fendel Tower or Lambda's Cocoon) or how titles in addition to giving you skills also have an ability only applicable when they're equipped (press square/Y in the title menu to see the effect)

In Wallbridge, there's a whole other part to the Wallbridge Ruins that's completely disconnected from the area you explore on your first visit. This new area has a book you can set to your mixer (I forget which one tho 😅)

I still need to test this for sure but I think that when characters roleplay as another, they keep their original stats, which is huge if true--- imagine a Richard with Asbel's tanky defense stat. The main reason I started to suspect this was when I noticed that Hubert was RPing, he still had his own min-max CC stat rather than the character who he was imitating. But it's possible that that's the only stat that doesn't change.

Equipment with the "barbatossian" quality prevent you from using items in battle. Which is a hilarious meta callback but also a slight problem when you discover this while rematching Lambda Angelus 😅

If you take off all of Malik's equipment, you may get an after battle scene in which he complains about it to Asbel 😂 (I was trying to nerf him bc I couldn't beat him in the 1v1 skit fight, don't judge me i was underleveled and Asbel's arte defense stat is terrible 😅)

There are many side quests I missed, notably the whole arc of Fiery Joe and his two siblings that eventually form the Dark Wings together (they're in a room in every inn but you have to trigger them in the order of town progression, starting with Grayleside). That one's significant since it gives you two titles, one for Sophie and one for Hubert, but content-wise it's a weird non sequitur (please don't drag Sophie into your spanking fetish dude she has no idea what's happening 😓)

I missed all of Mecha Sophie's quest last time (search for a basement room in the humanoid lab) but it's quite cute and gets you a title and arte for Pascal which is big. I had seen art of mecha Sophie before but I honestly thought they just made it up to be cute and marketable 😅

This is just the stuff I could remember off hand, if I think of more I'll probably make another post :)

[schoenht]

↳ the ways they tell you they love you without saying it.

characters: trey clover, jamil viper, vil schoenheit.

genre: fluff.

a/n: ooooo first post other than the other stuff

TREY takes notes of everything about you. He has written down things like how many times he has seen your eyes literally shine under the sunlight, he writes down things you have said in passing, he even knows gifts that you want before you even give him a hint. He always gets you the prettiest bouquets and they are always your favorite colors. He says simply that they “reminded him of you”. He writes the sweetest letters too, they are always buried between the flowers, and it is usually the little things about you that you might not know yourself because you can’t see yourself. He is descriptive about it too. He gets a little flustered in person, but don’t think that it’s because he can’t think of anything at the moment. He would rather take his time, see new things about you that he hadn’t noticed before and writes them down. He always has a lovestruck look on his face during this, as if you hung up all the stars yourself.

“Hm? Oh, I’m so sorry, I was just writing something down real quick. Which item did you say you liked? I see, okay. I like how your eyes light up when you see stuff you like, it’s like they’re sparkling. Ah, that sounds cheesy, I’m going to take it back.”

JAMIL, when he knows that you are stressed out, does your upcoming assignments for you and tries his best to take care of you. He knows that you have been pushed into the deep end of the pool, with not knowing anything about magic and all. He has dealt with years of buried exhaustion, therefore he can recognize it himself with you. Jamil is tired, but for you? There is none of that. Just your smile is enough to give him energy for the day. Your praise is enough to make his heart flutter in his chest. Anything you do is more than enough for him. If he can help with the things stressing you out, he does not care about anything else, he will go and help you. He ushers you to bed so you can take a well-needed nap. Meanwhile, he starts doing your assignments, each and every one. He has somehow memorized your handwriting enough to make it look like you did it. By the time you wake up, the only thing you have to do is write your name on the assignments. There is even food waiting for you with a handwritten note that tells you to eat.

“I don’t mind doing this for you. No, not at all. If anything, I would be more than happy to do it for you. Why? I care about you more than you know. I would sacrifice everything of mine so that you can have a moment of rest--ah, pretend you didn’t hear that.”

VIL takes time out of his flawlessly planned academic schedule to see you, even for a few unwritten seconds. He has a perfect itinerary that he follows precisely to the last second. Everyone has their own regimes to act in accordance with to be the perfect Pomefiore student. He, as the face of Pomefiore, has never faltered and kept his head up high. It is only with your presence that Vil Schoenheit himself has to stop to ensure that you are perfectly healthy, that your uniform doesn’t have a speck of dust on it, that your tie is straight. This takes more than a few seconds, yet he feels as though none of that matters, not when he is with you. It starts getting worse when he actively starts seeking you out, changing his paths to class to come across you on purpose. He denies any accusations from Epel, saying that the hallway is a new shortcut. He would rather steal more moments away from time than let you slip past his fingers. He would do anything to make sure that you are okay, in regards to your appearance and your health.

“My love, do you truly believe I would hesitate to even have a glimpse of you? I would stop the universe’s endless clock if it meant I would get even just a second with you.”

[spectre-requisitions-exchange]

Sign-Ups are Open!

Sign ups for the Spectre Requisitions exchange are now open and you may sign up from January 27th to February 10th. You must fill out at least three unique requests and three unique offers. (Requests and offers do not necessarily have to be the same!).

Important links:

Sign-up Form

Nominated Relationships Spreadsheet

View and search requests in the app

Countdown Timer

A couple of reminders:

Treats are now considered OPT-IN. "Treats" are works that are given to you that are not your main assignment. To opt-in to treats, you will need to enable treats on Ao3 AND declare you are open to being treated. If you do NOT specify treat preferences, we will assume you do not want to receive any treats!

To enable treats: Go to “My Dashboard” on your Ao3 account, select “Preferences” from the sidebar, scroll down to “Collections, Challenges and Gifts,” and make sure that the “Allow Anyone to Gift Me Works” box is checked.

You can use the following template in your sign-up box to state your treat preferences if you would like: Open to Treats: Yes / No Open to Treat types: Fanart, Fanfiction Open to Multi-recip treats: Yes / No If you are open to all types of treats, you can simply say "Treats welcome!"

There is a RATINGS box for sign-ups! The box is not mandatory and non-binding but will help with determining who is or is not interested in smut. If you are open to potentially creating or receiving smut, SELECT the "Explicit" option for that offer/request. Please note that this is NOT a guarantee that you will be matched, in either direction, with someone who has opted into smut; and even if you do match in that manner, you're not obligated to create smut (nor are they obligated to create smut for you).

NOW THAT SAID: SIGN UP! SIGN UP! SIGN-UP! CLICK HERE TO SIGN-UP!

You can go back and edit your Sign-Up Form up until February 10th, 8:00PM EST.

How Do I Sign Up? Instructions beneath the cut:

1) Go to the Sign Up Form at AO3.

2) Start writing in the name of your favorite character/pairing from the nominations. Don’t forget to check the spreadsheet if you need inspiration!

3) The box should start to autofill your pairing as you type (if it doesn’t, that is a known Ao3 bug, and if you type it exactly as it is in the tagset, it will accept it). Select your pairing of choice. You can choose two pairings per request, and may have ten requests total.

The two requests do not need to be related; it is simply a way to try to get around the Ao3 restriction of only having 10 sign-up boxes.

4) Decide whether you would like to potentially receive fanart or fanfic, or both. Check the applicable box(es).

5) The RATINGS box on each request indicates whether or not you are open to receiving smut. The box is not mandatory and non-binding but will help with determining who is or is not interested in smut. Please CHECK the "Explicit" box if you want to receive smut; and leave it unchecked if you do not want to receive smut.

6) In the "Description" box, you MUST include: -Any Do Not Wants (DNWs) for the requested relationship(s). We cannot enforce DNWs that are not contained in your Ao3 signup. -Whether you are opting in to treats or not. If you are opting in, you must say which kind of treats you are open to receiving. If you do NOT specify treat preferences, we will assume you do not want to receive any treats!

You can use the following template to state your treat preferences:

Open to Treats: Yes / No Open to Treat types: Fanart, Fanfiction Open to Multi-recip treats: Yes / No

If you are open to all types of treats, you can simply say "Treats welcome!"

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[reidscanehand]

A Secret’s Worth

A Merry RCH Christmas

Pairing: Spencer Reid x BAUfem!Reader

Category: Christmas Fluff

TW: cursing, legal drinking done by adults, mentions typical CM crimes, implied sex, pregnancy mentions

Thank you so much to the anon who requested this: can i request a secret santa fic with spencer n mutual pining please? and maybe with some derek n penelope involvement? 🤩 i love the way you write them two, penelope is my favourite character n i cannot get enough of the way you write her!!!!! 

I changed this a little bit because I got a lot of requests involving sort of mutual pining/Christmas vibes. I didn’t want them all to be the same, plus this is what I came up with. I had so much fun writing this. Hope you like it! xx 

~ “All the secrets of the world worth knowing are hiding in plain sight.” - Robin Sloan ~

As long as she’s been in charge of the BAU’s Secret Santa - aka always, since she was the one who decided they should do it - Penelope’s dealt with people trying to request certain people. In fact, a few years ago when she’d opened it up to the entire floor, she’d been so beleaguered by requests for specific people to be each other’s Secret Santa that she’d pretended to cancel it the next year, only to do a Super Secret Secret Santa for the BAU team only on the jet after finishing a successful case. It was then that Rossi, slightly miffed that his post-case jet nap was disturbed by a Secret Santa gift exchange, offered up his house for the Secret Santa gift exchange/exclusive BAU Christmas party. 

Because of this change, Penelope hadn’t gotten a request to change someone to someone else specific in a while. She’d assigned specific people to specific people before. Two Christmases ago, she’d taken it upon herself to make sure that Spencer got Y/N and Y/N got Spencer. Despite the concern from literally everyone else on the team, the gifts Y/N and Spencer got each other that year served as basically love letters to each other and, after the party, standing on Rossi’s porch in the snow, the two of them finally got together. 

Which is why it’s surprising that this year Spencer enters her office on December 3rd and asks, “Would it be at all possible for me to get Y/N for Secret Santa?”

“Now, Boy Wonder,” Penelope says warningly, “you know how I feel about people asking for specific assignments for Secret Santa. It takes away half of the surprise of Secret Santa and-”

“If I tell you what I’m getting her,” Spencer interrupts quietly, “and why, would you maybe be willing to do it?”

Penelope narrows her eyes and cocks an eyebrow challengingly, “I reserve the right to veto it if I hate it.”

“You won’t hate it, but okay,” Spencer chuckles as he goes to close her office door. He thinks about it for an extra second before he also locks the door behind him. 

“You can’t know that for sure, 187,” Penelope teases, “I know that Y/N’s the love of your life and you two are the just the gooiest, sweetest lovey doves of all time, and I know you’re a genius or whatever, but I also know for a fact that Prentiss saw a first edition of Y/N’s favorite book that-”

“I want to ask Y/N to marry me,” Spencer cuts her off again, pulling a small velvet box out of his inner suit jacket pocket. Penelope’s jaw drops. 

He opens the box and, if possible, her jaw drops further. She looks up at him and then at the ring again. Then back up at him. She pulls her rolling chair back from her desk and stands very slowly. 

“Penelope?” Spencer asks cautiously. When she doesn’t respond, he continues, “I know it might seem kind of weird, but we got together because of Secret Santa, so...I don’t know, I thought it’d be sweet to...it’s just that, you know, I-I asked her to be mine after Secret Santa so I thought I’d ask her to be mine forever the same way?” 

Penelope still doesn’t respond, so Spencer asks, “Are you o-hmmph!” He’s cut off by her arms wrapping tightly around him. 

“Boy Genius,” she whispers, happy tears running down her cheeks, “you can have whatever you want; whatever you need to make this perfect.”

~~~

“Penelope?” Y/N asks, knocking on her door frame. 

“How can I help you, my sweet angel?” Penelope beams. She’s trying to be subtle, but knowing what she knows makes it hard to remain calm.

Y/N enters the room with a small tin in her hands, which she passes wordlessly to Penelope. Penelope takes the offering, opening it slightly with a huge smile on her face, “Your eggnog sugar cookies? But it’s only December 13th! You only make them once a year! What’s the occasion?”

“Well...” Y/N puts her hands behind her back, not really looking at Penelope. “Because I love you and...I also need to ask for a favor?” She bites her lip and finally meets Penelope’s eyes. 

“A favor?” Penelope teases, narrowing her eyes and looking up at Y/N. “So the cookies are-”

“A bribe? Yes, very much so.”

“Y/N,” Penelope sighs sweetly, “you’ve been with the team for two years, babe, you really don’t have to bribe me for stuff.”

“I know that, Pen, but what I’m going to ask isn’t...you’ll hate it,” Y/N admits. She pulls a small slip of paper out of her back pocket, “I’m really sorry to do this, but I need to ask to switch my Secret Santa assignment.”

Overdramatically (on purpose), Penelope takes off her glasses and runs a hand down her face, “Let me guess, you want to switch to Spencer?”

“They don’t call you a genius for nothing,” Y/N smiles weakly. 

“Y/N,” she whines.

“I know, Pen, I know,” Y/N replies quickly, “but I have something...important to give Spencer this year.”

And just like that, Penelope’s intrigued, “Important?”

Y/N looks behind her cautiously before crossing and shutting the door, thinking about it for an extra second before locking it, turning back around and standing in front of Penelope again, “Can you keep a secret?”

“Of course,” Penelope agrees immediately. Y/N arches her eyebrow and gives Penelope a pointed look which causes her to respond with, “Okay, okay, I know I’m not the best with secrets, but I promise I’ll keep your secret, especially if it’s important-”

“It’s the most important,” Y/N cuts her off, barely hiding a grin. “It’s...it’s...Penelope, I’m pregnant.”

Once again for the second time in less than two weeks, Penelope is stunned into silence. She rolls back from her desk and stands slowly, still shocked. 

“Pen?” Y/N asks nervously, after a moment of silence. “Pen, I know it’s surprising, but I really need...I mean I hate to already be pulling the pregnant lady card, but I’m really emotional these days and-oomph!”

Penelope cuts her off with a huge hug, “You beautiful, beautiful, amazing creature; I can’t believe this! This is the most amazing thing that’s ever happened ever!”

“Oh, Pen,” Y/N giggle, a few errant tears running down her cheeks, “that’s what you said when Spence and I got together.”

“I reserve the right to veto my previous opinions on my most amazing things that happened ever,” Penelope amends quickly, throwing her arms around her friend again. 

“So,” Y/N asks, her head pressed into Penelope’s shoulder, “would it be okay if I switched to Spencer? I bought him this cardigan with ‘Dad’ embroidered onto the breast and I was going to put the positive pregnancy test in the pocket or-”

“That’s absolutely brilliant!” Penelope exclaims. She pulls back from the hug and takes the small slip of paper from Y/N’s hand. Without another word, she unlocks and opens her door, speedwalking into the mostly empty bullpen as fast as her heels will let her. She stops in front of Derek’s desk. He’s the only one in the office right now, taking his lunch break by eating a salad at his desk to finish up a report instead of going out with the rest of the team. 

“What’s up, Baby Girl? I-”

“I need your Secret Santa paper,” Penelope cuts him off. “Now.”

“Did I do something wrong?” Derek asks cautiously, opening his desk drawer and retrieving the slip of paper. 

“Nothing’s wrong,” Penelope grins. “Absolutely nothing at all. It’s even less wrong now that you’re going to be giving a gift to Prentiss instead of Reid.”

“O...kay,” Derek says in confusion, taking the new slip of paper from Penelope. “Do I get to know...why?”

“Let’s just call it,” Penelope smiles again, doing her best not to let happy tears slip out, “Christmas magic.”

~~~

The night of the party Penelope can barely contain herself, especially as the gift exchange grows closer and closer. It reminded her of the night two years ago when she’d been impatiently waiting to see what Spencer and Y/N got each other for Secret Santa, only now she knew and she still couldn’t wait. 

“Are you okay, Baby Girl?” Derek asks, passing her one of Rossi’s Cranberry Christmas Cocktails. 

“I’m great,” she breathes, “just nervous about the Secret Santa exchange.”

“Why would you be worried about that?” Prentiss asks, walking up and taking the other cocktail, the one definitely meant for himself, out of Derek’s hand.

“Oh, just...just worried that you guys will get bored of it,” Penelope answers, surprising herself by the honesty of her statement. “I mean...what happens when...when you guys don’t want to do it anymore? I don’t want it to be annoying or-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Spencer interrupts, he and Y/N just passing by on their way to the buffet table. “Who would ever be annoyed by this?”

“Yeah,” Y/N agrees. “If anything, we each get a present, but also, because you care so much, magical things can happen.” She grins up at Spencer, who smiles down at her.

“Truly, Pen, it’s amazing that you pull this together every year,” Spencer nods. 

“It really is,” Hotch agrees, joining the group with a cocktail of his own. 

“It gives us the opportunity to hang out with our family - our found family - around Christmas,” JJ adds, joining the group with Will’s arms wrapped around her. 

“A family whose heart and soul is definitely you, bella,” Rossi concurs as he sidles up next to Hotch. 

“Oh,” Penelope sniffles, “that’s...that’s really good to know.”

“So,” Derek says, smoothly pulling Penelope into a hug, “no more worries about Secret Santa, okay?”

~~~

The group finally gathers in Rossi’s living room, the roaring fire and Christmas tree adding to the excitement and warm glow that seemed to thrum through everyone. Since they’re such a small group, the BAU always has someone ‘play Santa’ and pass out all the gifts, each opening them one at a time. When they open a gift, each person guesses who gave it to them. As they’re a bunch of profilers, they’re usually able to guess pretty quickly, but it doesn’t take away any of the fun. With Derek’s unquestioning support, Penelope is able to structure the seating arrangement so that Spencer and Y/N will have to open their gifts last. 

Rossi offers to play Santa, passing out gifts to everyone before settling down with his own gift. After the sweet encouragement from everyone earlier in the evening, Penelope finds that her excitement isn’t just for Spencer and Y/N anymore, but for everyone. 

Rossi gets a very, very nice bottle of whiskey from Hotch. Hotch gets a set of monogrammed tie clips and cufflinks from Penelope, a gift he liked even more than she thought he would. Prentiss gets a set of leather bound Kurt Vonnegut books from Derek. Derek gets some liquor glasses embossed with famous Chicago sites from Rossi. JJ gets two tickets for a weekend retreat for her and Will from Prentiss, who also agrees to watch Henry to give them a break. Penelope is astonished to get a basket with a blanket, her favorite champagne, orange juice, champagne glasses, movies, and a fun pillow making it the perfect girl’s weekend basket from JJ. JJ also promises that all the ladies will get together over the holiday break so Penelope can take advantage of the stuff. 

It’s then that Y/N opens her gift. Penelope had thought about spacing them apart from each other, but the gifts would’ve been confusing coming from someone else. The whole group is watching, knowing that any gifts the two give each other will be incredibly sweet and heartfelt, though Penelope knows that no one will be expecting just how heartfelt it will be. 

“Wait,” Y/N breathes when she unwraps the small, velvet box. “Wait, is this a joke?”

Spencer kneels in front of her, and there’s a collective gasp as he takes the box from Y/N’s hands, then takes her hand in his own, “It’s no joke. Y/N Y/L/N, two Christmases ago, I finally had the courage to ask you to be mine. And if the past few years have shown me anything, it’s that the life I have with you is better than anything I ever could have imagined. You are wonderful, amazing, and the most incredible woman I have ever known. And, so, in the place where we first said ‘I love you’, I wanted to ask you if you’ll marry me?”

Y/N is fully crying at this point, though she’s definitely not the only one. JJ’s tucked into Will’s shoulder, who’s also tearing up, Prentiss has a tear or two running down her cheeks, and even Derek is sniffling. Penelope’s pretty sure she sees Hotch wipe away a quick tear as Rossi nods in approval. 

“Um,” Y/N finally manages to rasp, “my answer is yes-”

She’s cut off by a loud cheer from everyone, and Spencer presses a kiss to her lips. She grins into it, but pulls away, still beaming as everyone quiets down, “Of course it’s a yes, but I think it’s really important that you open your gift now.”

Spencer falters for a moment, though his smile never waivers, “What do you-why-”

“You’ll see,” Y/N grins, “but it’s, um, it’ll make you really happy.”

Spencer still looks confused, but takes the package from her anyway. He opens it and sees the cardigan, looking at his now fiance with an even more perplexed expression than before, “Th-thank you for the cardigan, sweetheart. It’s great, but I-”

“Maybe,” Y/N offers quietly, “put it on?”

Spencer still looks confused and the awkward silence of everyone in the room only adds to the slight tension, “Okay...”

He puts on the pretty green cardigan and JJ emits a sharp gasp when she sees the embroidered ‘Dad’. Everyone stares at her and then back at Spencer, who looks even more lost. Then Emily sees it, then Derek, then Hotch and Rossi, and finally Will, all gasping in surprise.

“What?” Spencer asks, looking desperately back at Y/N, who’s now beaming. “What is it?

“Check the pocket,” she whispers. Spencer shoves his hands into the pockets, freezing when his hand hits the test.

“No,” he breathes, his smile growing. “No way-wait!” He pulls out the test, looking at the two lines, a hand covering his mouth. “You’re...” He looks to Y/N, who nods, tears pouring out. “We’re going to be parents?”

A cheer rises up from the rest of the team, who all stand and abandon their gifts in excitement. 

“Yeah,” Y/N nods, wrapping her arms around him. Spencer wraps his arms around her pulling her into a tight hug. “Sorry to mess up your proposal.”

“Mess up my-” Spencer cuts himself off with a laugh, “You didn’t mess up anything, my love. As always, you made it better. I just can’t believe...this is the best Christmas ever!”

The whole team hugs and cheers and congratulates the newly engaged and expecting couple. Derek finally catches Penelope, who hasn’t stopped smiling since Y/N ripped the wrapping on her gift. 

“You knew didn’t you?” he asks quietly. 

Penelope smirks, “They might have asked to be each other’s Secret Santa.”

Derek chuckles and pulls her into a hug, “See, Baby Girl? You didn’t need to worry at all.”

~“It was almost comforting, this mutual acceptance of our secrets.” - Kiera Cass ~

Taglist:  @shadyladyperfection @cielo1984 @rainsong01 @pessimystic-fangirl @saspencereid @takeyourleap-of-faith @andreasworlsboring101 @avidreider @waddlenut  @aizawaxkun @babyspencersslut @no-honey-no  @andrewhoezierbyrne @subhuman-queer @ncsls0515  @uhuhuh  @whatamidoinghp @spongeshxt  @itsametaphorbriansblog @vgirl-10123  @stand-tall-pineapple  @padsfirewhisky @ceeellewrites @dahliasbouqet @drayshadow @cal-ifornication @theetherealbloom  @eevee0722 @questionmymentality @wintermuteway @ellesmythe @mac99martin  @obsssedwithjustaboutanything @ssa-githae @cherrystay @calm-and-doctor @icedcoffee187 @devilswaldorf @annemijnisdancing @half-blood-dork @blameitonthenight21 @happyreid187 @goldeng1rl8 @meangirlsx @honestlystop @lastpasttheposts @avengers-ass-emble17 @bauhousewife @averyhotchner @underscorecourt @green-intervention  @fan-girl-97 @coolbeans3 @boxofsparklingmuses @allaboutsml  @ssareidbby @percabethfangirl @buckyluvbot @v-is-obsessive @tanyaherondale @usuck @mitchiri-nek0  @kaitlynpcallmebeepme @miraclesoflove @meganskane @babymetaldoll @ivebeenthinkingboutu @rockin2thebeats @infinite-tides @onlyhereforthefanfics  @g-l-pierce @thisiscalm-andits-doctor @art-and-thoughts @exhaleli @allthecolorsneverseen @measure-in-pain @meowiemari @acidicbloody​

Link to A Merry RCH Christmas Master List

Link to My Main Master List

[ethereal-maia]

Oh dear. Buckle up. There’s 7 pages of handwritten words (which I have painstakingly transcribed for you) and a glossary. Plus commentary (which will be orange text.)

things you should know before going in:

I watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail so much as a 10 year old that I stole my favorite character (Tim the Enchanter) and made him my OC self-insert for this story.

The idea for the world of Jim and Bob belongs to my younger sister and her friend, who did most of the worldbuilding for me. Jim and Bob was a longtime game for us and lots of our friends.

All “Jim and Bob friends” had mustaches and names that had only 3 letters, as a rule

Playing Jim and Bob friends consisted of calling each other by our Jim-and-Bob names, talking about how much we loved potatoes, pretending to explode things (and ourselves) with “secret formula” and talking in a made-up accent.

I wrote this story as an assignment, but there is a sequel that I wrote a couple months later if you want to see that too 😭

AND im working on adapting this into a comic for myself so if you want to see the wip of that lmk

God this makes no sense. So without further ado:

TIM THE ENCHANTER

TEXT: It was national potato day (I was also OBSESSED with “national days” at the time) in Potatoland, and Tim* stepped out the door. A Potato Policeman took one look and said “Hey! You! You’re under arrest!”

“Uh-oh”, said Tim. “…It’s national potato day again, isn’t it? I’m not wearing a potato again, right? And this is my last warning… AAAH!”

The Potato Police ran after Tim. “You are violating rule 263!” The police yelled. “Not wearing a potato on your head on national potato day!”

Fortunately, Tim was able to transport out of Potatoland by using his staff-magic (he has a wooden staff that is magical and can shoot fire out of it) to poof himself away.

“Where am I?” He wondered, sitting up. He looked into the sky and saw a huge sign saying: Jim and Bob are Awesome!

END PAGE ONE

TEXT: “Oh, no,” Tim groaned. “Not again!” (I have NO clue what I meant by this.)

“Hi there!,” a cheery voice said. “My name is Joe. Are you a Jim and Bob friend?”

“No!” Tim responded. “I am an enchanter! Now, take me to your leader!”

Joe brought Tim into a large palace. There were plumbing rooms, rooms only for toilets, and even a room invented just for potatoes!

“Hey, Bob!” Joe called. “We have a visitor! Is he… evil? Does he need to go to Potato Jail?”

“One minute please!” responded Bob. “I must finish making my embroidered toilet cape!”

Five hours later, Bob came into the room with another man. (The other man’s name is Jim) They both had mustaches.

END PAGE TWO

TEXT: “Hey, dude!” The other man (Jim, I presume?) said. “How are you doing? Oh, who is this guy?”

“I am Tim!” Tim declared. “I am the all-powerful enchanter. There are many stories about me, so I’m like totally famous.”

“WHOAH!” Bob exclaimed. “That’s awesome! I’m Bob, obviously, and this is Jim. Tim, you are invited to become an official Jim-and-Bob friend!”

“WHOAH! That’s awesome, dude!” Said Tim. “Wow! I even have a new accent! It’s even better than my old one! My name’s Tim, F.Y.I.” (Thanks for clarifying man)

Just then, a guy wearing a lab coat came into the room. He introduced himself as Osh, (my oc representing my best friend!!!) and asked Tim if he wanted to mess around with chemistry. Tim agreed.

Tim and Osh had a great time. They mixed dynamite with boiling water and poured it down the drain. (This is the prototype for Secret Formula… it’s usually made by getting all the hottest and spiciest stuff you can find and mixing it together into an explosion potion 😌 I actually tried to make it once and was of course let down.) The whole

END PAGE THREE

TEXT: entire sink exploded!

“High-five, dude!” They yelled. Smack! Their hands clapped together.

“Hey, we should make a lot of this stuff, and sell it for PotPeel (AKA Jim and Bob money.)!” Tim suggested. “Let’s call it… Secret Formula, or S.F.” (Capitalism for the win I guess 😭)

Soon, Jim burst into the room, holding a knife. His eyes were glazed over.

“Ugh!” Groaned Osh. “He must be possessed by the Evil Potato again! It happens all the time. Let me handle this.”

“KILL ALL JIM-AND-BOB FRIENDS”, (the robotic font I made for this was so fun to write actually I remember) Jim repeated, over and over again.

“Hey! Dude! SNAP OUT OF IT!” Osh bellowed, and Jim fell to the floor. Tim rushed over and made sure he was okay. Jim was never possessed again. (Legendary move from Osh I fear)

END PAGE FOUR

TEXT: One day, while Tim was watching the Toilet-Vision (a television but it’s shaped like a toilet) , a news channel caught his attention.

“George and Chad are on the loose again! Will they be captured and put back in Potato Jail (Fun fact! Potato Jail was originally Heaven. It was a joke because all the bad guys were sent there instead of somewhere actually bad, yet they still wanted to escape. I renamed it Potato Jail because I feared my teacher’s reaction), or will they run hounded forever? This is Snootypants Nosedy, out.”

“What! This is crazy!” Bob yelled. “They should not have been able to breakout of Potato Jail! It is the most secure place ever! (Fake fucking news cause those bitches were escaping every other week) Tim and Osh! You must capture George and Chad with your new potion!”

“Okay!” Tim and Osh agreed. “Hey, Tim, this is going to be so much fun! Remember, we made guns just for S.F.!” Said Osh. (They are WATER GUNS I PROMISE)

“Oh yeah, we did!” Replied Tim. “This is going to be fun!”

END PAGE FIVE

TEXT: While Tim and Osh were away looking for George and Chad, George and Chad snuck into the Potato Palace! They tiptoed into the Sacred Room of Potatoes. In the middle, there was a locked glass case. If anyone touched it, all Jim-and-Bob friends in the area would automatically turn into Murderous-Killer-Sheep (this was a piece of Jim and Bob lore I have regrettably forgotten. RIP murderous killer sheep.) and the box would shoot out lasers.

But George and Chad didn’t know that. Chad whispered: “How’s my dreamy hair? Yours is, like, a total mess.”

“Geez, Chad,” George answered. “Well, we’ve just spent like two years in POTATO JAIL!!! OF COURSE YOUR HAIR IS A MESS!!! Now, let’s get that Golden Potato.”

“Stop right there!” Someone yelled. George and Chad’s heads snapped toward the noise. Tim was standing in the

END PAGE SIX

TEXT: doorway to the Sacred Potato Room, and his Secret Formula weapon was pointed right at them!

Just then, the Potato Police (a different one than the one that hated Tim for not wearing a potato on national potato day) showed up.

“Sirs, you are under arrest. O Tim, you have helped. Here is $5,000 for doing a community service. Also, you are wiped clear of any crimes you may have committed.” (And he’s committed many. The crimes were all dumb shit like not wearing a potato on your head on national potato day though let’s be honest)

When the Jim-and-Bob friends found out, they threw a huge party in Tim’s honor! Everyone gave him compliments. These are just a few!:

“Hey dude! Thanks a lot!”

“Wow! Tim, you’re so awesome!!”

“Hey Tim, could I get your autograph?”

”Nice cloak! Where’d you get it?”

And, to sum it all up, the Jim-and-Bob friends are so grateful that they build a

END PAGE SEVEN

TEXT: totally sick medieval Castle for Tim and Osh, so that they can blow up as many sinks as they want without disturbing the Potato Palace!

THE END

Are you confused? Good thing 10y/o me made a glossary for my teacher!!!

Tim: a sorcerer of fire! Looks like this:

let’s play spot the difference, shall we? Here’s a picture of Tim the Enchanter from the movie.

(I thought he was The Coolest Character Ever. I was him for Halloween that same year and one guy gave me extra candy because of it.)

Osh: mad scientist! Loves animals.

Jim and Bob: Founders of Jim-and-Bob-land. Both have mustaches and are official Jim-and-Bob friends. Look like this:

(Mario brothers who???)

George and Chad: criminals. (The real term was Betrayers, but I used criminals because it made more sense I guess. It’s sad because they both were once Jim-and-Bob friends… but alas they betrayed the brotherhood. Should’ve know they were no good from their names… more than three letters…) George is wanted for disobeying the rules of plumbing (not breaking the toiled, which you are supposed to do instead of fixing the toilets). (Honestly he was wrongfully imprisoned. So was Chad but we’ll get to that.) Chad is wanted for being too good-looking, and for not marrying the nerdy girl even though he is gay. (yep!!!! I actually wrote that!!!! Because it was the truth of the matter!!!!! Chad was awesome because everyone had a crush on him but he was only in love with himself. Also whenever anyone said his name they had to sing it and move their head in a circle to imitate the Chad Effect. Which was just. Magical lights and wind that made Chad look even hotter than usual I guess.) This is what they look like:

Potato Jail (Formerly known as Heaven) : where really bad people go. Looks like this:

Secret Formula: very deadly, many different types. Just one drop can do this:

Actual vial size:

Fun fact! A drop of poisonous S.F. will destroy the world!

Sacred Room of Potatoes: HUGE! Where all the best kinds of potatoes go. A growing plot for potatoes. Looks like this:

The Evil Potato: Just loves to possess Jim, like in the story. Looks like this: (i fucking love this guy’s design, in retrospect)

THE END (again)

haha if you have any questions/ comments/ concerns pleaseeee tell me them!!! thanks for reading :3

do you want to see an absolutely batshit insane story I wrote when I was 9 or 10 years old

YES DEFINITELY ABSOLUTELY

[nicohverse]

Entropic Float in 2023: An Update!

 Happy New Year, everybody!

It's 2023 and I have a lot of plans! I'll start out by offering reminders that there's a survey to influence the contents of the Entropic Float DLC (Letters To A Beloved Ghost) and make sure that you get to see your favorite characters again, as well as a few pieces of official Entropic Float Merch available on my etsy store. There are stickers of the full cast, keychains of the protagonists and antagonist, and pin buttons of each standard ending- But if there's a particular piece of merchandise you'd want to see, feel free to contact me and let me know.

Entropic Float: Letters To A Beloved Ghost

As mentioned above, there's a survey to influence this DLC's content, but that doesn't mean I don't have plans for it! In fact, I already have a few of the side stories drafted. The DLC will be 5 USD or included in any pledge to the Entropic Float 2 Kickstarter. It will feature all new original art and music, and over 100k words of new content. By reading letters to you exploring unseen moments, past and present, you'll accumulate points toward meeting with somebody who's been hoping to meet you since long before you were invited to the clocktower. Not all letters will be required to finish the DLC's story, but all will be available.

Some side stories haven't yet been planned, as the survey is still open- But those that have been drafted include the pasts of Shinjiro Nozomi's friends, an oddly magical discovery at a small concert attended by Jasper Jasmine Jekyll, and a classic 'battle so we can become friends' between witches. Some will provide closure to doors left ajar in Entropic Float- Others will open up brand new doors for the sequels to shut- And others still will simply give you more time with the dear friends you made over the course of the game.

I plan to close the survey on 03/31/2023, and hope to have the DLC ready for release by the end of summer 2023.

Entropic Float 2: Land Of The Witch

I'm going to begin work in earnest on EF2 now that the new year has begun. I didn't 100% keep to my plan of not starting till the new year, but I managed to at least sort of take a break! I'm not going to be jumping right back into biweekly development updates, because this game has a lot more ground-up building to be done and I have a lot of other things to square away- I'd rather not post the same 'I got some of the point-and-click working the way I imagined' update too many times. I'll update once a month until development is progressing strongly enough to share more.

But you'll be getting introduced to the cast of the game quite soon- In next month's update, most likely! Though character trailers will come a bit later down the line.

Entropic Float 2: Land Of The Witch is... A point and click adventure game focusing on the 'Pine Creek Anomaly'. One year after the resolution of the anomalous clocktower in the Black Rock Desert, Kanatsune Ame is assigned a similarly difficult case. A rural town in the Appalachian Mountains disappeared five years ago- And the Anomaly in its place has only recently signaled its presence by opening an invitation. What will the World Anomaly which stole the town of Pine Creek reveal?

I can't give a timeline on EF2's development quite yet, but I'm tentatively hoping to run a Kickstarter in summer 2023, so that pledges to the Kickstarter can be swiftly translated into the reward of the Letters To A Beloved Ghost DLC. Before running the Kickstarter, I hope to have a demo ready to play, so that I can put my best foot forward. After all, EF2 is going to be a point-and-click adventure, not just a visual novel- Though I do plan, for accessibility, to also offer a 'kinetic novel version' in which the events of the game are arranged into a semi-canon order of experience.

The demo will of course be free, and will cover from the beginning of the game through to the first open exploration area.

The full game will be priced at 15 USD. While Kickstarter reward tiers will be determined closer to its launch, pledges of 5 USD will include the Beloved Ghost DLC only, while pledges of 15 USD or more will include both the DLC and Entropic Float 2, essentially giving you the DLC for free if you pledge at 15 USD exactly. I wish I could offer EF2 for the same zero-dollar price point as the first game, but I hope that the increased production value will make up the difference!

Any Other Projects?

Well, I wouldn't put this category here if I didn't have some other stuff going on. I'm considering participating in a few gamejams with short and sweet VNs. I'm also doing the art for an RPG that a friend of mine is writing. And of course, I'm selling on etsy, taking commissions, and working a day job. Wouldn't it be nice if I could just devote all my time to gamedev... Alas. Well, that's all I've got for now. Thanks for tuning in! More to come!

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

In your latest post, you said that Dumbledore MEANT to put Harry in a abusive household. That, or when he found out he did nothing to stop it. Why is that?

You’re going to get a lot of people angry with me. Well, I suppose they’re already angry. Somewhere out there, on the wider internet.

Right, anyway, the evidence of Harry’s abuse is so overwhelming that it seems improbable to me that Dumbledore wasn’t aware of what was happening. More, every interaction he has with not only Harry, but characters in similar circumstances, lends me to believe that in the event that Dumbledore does know he’d take no action.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone: Scene 1

We start out the entire Harry Potter series with Minerva and Dumbledore waiting in the early dawn for Hagrid’s arrival and to place Harry with the Dursleys. Minerva immediately announces her discomfort with this, 

She specifically says the following:

"You don't mean — you can't mean the people who live here? Dumbledore, you can't. You couldn't find two people who are less like us."

Lily Evans’ relatives are infamous enough such that Minerva McGonagall, who is presumably not as close as her like aged peers (i.e. Sirius, Remus, and Peter) knows about them.

Granted, some of this is anti-muggle sentiment. Minerva isn’t sure that suburban muggles raising a magical child like Harry Potter is a good idea. Nevertheless, she has deep misgivings, and relays them to Dumbledore.

We know from further evidence that Dumbledore is perfectly aware of what Petunia and Vernon are like as well. He gives Harry to the Dursleys anyway.

Dumbledore, for his own reasons, chooses not to listen.

Dumbledore’s Letter to Petunia

Dumbledore writes a letter to Petunia, knowing it is highly necessary, as he gives Harry to the family. The letter is... vaguely threatening but in a very polite Dumbledore way. It pretty much implies “Take Harry, or else, also be nice to your dead sister.”

The point is, Dumbledore is aware that this letter is highly necessary. And then... other things happen.

Dumbledore Sends Hagrid

Dumbledore sends Hagrid to pick Harry up.

Ordinarily, in such circumstances, Minerva is sent to introduce muggleborn children to the Wizarding World. “Perhaps she was busy,” you say, too busy for Harry Potter? Wizard Jesus and the child of perhaps her favorite students who she openly favors throughout the series?

“Perhaps Dumbledore was being nice to Hagrid, and he had an errand to do anyway,” well, it’s all well and good to be nice to Hagrid, but is he really the best guy to introduce anybody to the Wizarding World?

This is Hagrid, the likelihood of him having taken Harry to an exotic pet shop where Harry then gets eaten by the Chupacabra is 95%. The 5% where it didn’t happen is because Hagrid went to the pet shop alone and some, distant, rational part of his brain told him that Harry would want the pretty owl vs. the one-eyed blood sucking rat demon in the cage next to her.

You don’t send Hagrid if you want a child returned to you with all its limbs intact.

So why do you send Hagrid?

When you want someone who’s so painfully oblivious, loyal, and stupid that they could stare a hellscape in the face and wouldn’t even notice.

Hagrid gets a firsthand view of Harry’s living conditions. He learns that Harry’s relatives have been actively blocking Harry’s letters, that they have run across the country to avoid them. He sees the state of Harry’s clothing in comparison to Dudley, how thin Harry is in comparison to Dudley, and the way the family interacts with each other.

Harry’s child abuse is staring Hagrid right in the face.

Minerva would demand that Harry be placed somewhere else, they can find some other means of protecting him.

What does Hagrid do?

He gives Dudley a pig’s tail illegally and proceeds to tell Harry that Dumbledore is the greatest man who ever lived. 

Other Evidence Comes to Light

Other characters start getting pretty big warning signs that all’s not right at the Potters.

Ron and Hermione know the situation is “bad” and that Harry’s relatives “hate magic”. They’re also kids and don’t really understand what this means, the idea of being abused and hated by your guardians is unthinkable to them and Harry doesn’t come out and just say it.

That said, they’ve seen enough that they drop hints to those around them. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley are told about the bars on Harry’s window. Ron was so concerned about Harry in the summer after first year that he steals his father’s car with Fred and George to go pick him up. That is not normal behavior, that is deep concern for your friend.

Despite all of this... nothing happens.

Hermione spends far more time at the Weasleys then Harry ever does. Every summer, he returns to Privet Drive, and it’s likely if Arthur and Molly did have concerns Dumbledore told them off.

Arabella Figg

Arabella has been keeping an eye on Harry for years. She’s noted some very disturbing trends and been witness to years of the Dursleys interacting with Harry Potter.

She passes this information on to Dumbledore.

He knows how bad it is.

Harry Potter

Harry tells Dumbledore he does not wish to remain at the Dursleys, he notes that they don’t like him and he doesn’t like them. Now, he tries to downplay it, but this is a child saying some pretty disturbing things. You don’t brush this off.

Dumbledore does.

Dumbledore Visits the Dursleys

In book 6, Dumbledore visits the Dursleys and sees, in person, how bad it is. However, he shows no surprise, only vague disappointment in Petunia. Tsk, tsk, Petunia, I thought you were better than this.

He offers a few threats and then he and Harry go on their merry way.

Severus Snape

Snape is Dumbledore’s spy who reads Harry’s mind for half a year. Granted, Snape is a bastard who loathes Harry Potter, but he sees evidence of the Dursleys abuse of Harry.

We know, from what he relays to Dumbledore later, that he had at least some concern for Harry and was very disturbed by Dumbledore’s plan to murder him in cold blood due to the horcrux.

I think it’s very likely Severus Snape knew and told Dumbledore that Harry was being abused. I’m sure Albus’ response was, “Bitch, I know, would you like a lemon drop?”

Point being, there is no conceivable way that Albus Dumbledore, even if he was the world’s dumbest man, didn’t know exactly how bad it was. He let’s it happen anyway.

But What About the Blood Wards?

Dumbledore eventually tells Harry that the reason he can’t run away from Privet Drive is because of the blood wards created by his mother. They can only be applied if he lives with blood relatives and protect the Dursley house as long as Harry considers it home.

Now, this is a bit suspect given that Harry really considers Hogwarts his home, Privet Drive is just that hell hole he has to go back to every summer. Even the Burrow is more his home than Privet Drive so... That doesn’t sound right.

More, though, there are other means of protection.

There’s the Fidelius which Dumbledore casts on Sirius’ house in book 5. Given that, Harry really could have lived with Sirius (well, Sirius is not in a good place to have a kid around and that would be a disaster and a half). Point being, Harry could be raised elsewhere and there are wards that could protect him.

More, Voldemort and the Death Eaters are out of commission for thirteen years. Indeed, we see Dumbledore up Harry’s security detail by secretly assigning the Order to tail him after fourth year.

So, for a very long time, it’s not about Harry’s protection and when it does become that we see Dumbledore make significant changes.

So, what could it be?

Well, let’s look at Dumbledore’s other actions. Dumbledore prevents Harry from becoming prefect because “he thought it would go to his head”. Which, Harry should absolutely not be made prefect at all, and Ron’s a laughable candidate too but...

To me that’s very telling.

I hate to say this, but this is Dumbledore, but I think he has a very similar reasoning behind Harry going to the Dursleys.

He doesn’t want Harry to be corrupted by the Boy Who Lived persona. He wants him in a certain state of mind when he enters into the wizarding world and... Frankly, he wants him vulnerable. Dumbledore, in time, will need to either murder this boy or have him kill himself. If Harry has a halfway decent guardian, that task becomes a hell of a lot harder.

Harry has to love the wizarding world so much, trust Dumbledore so much, that these things are worth dying for.

You Mentioned Something About Dumbledore’s Other Actions?

Dumbledore has no sympathy for victims of child abuse.

Tom Riddle, an impoverished orphan loathed by those in his orphanage, he thinks is the very devil and sends him back into the Blitz with a smile and a wave. Enjoy the bombs, Tom, hope you die.

Severus Snape, the half blood child of an abusive muggle father and absentee mother, who is nearly murdered by Sirius Black via Remus Lupin, is told to shut the fuck up and sit down before he ruins the lives of his betters.

Dumbledore has a very bad track record with this and, well, Harry Potter is not an exception.

To be fair, I think the wizarding world has not concept of CPS or even child abuse. There’s no hint of a foster system, you go to the closest relative of the godparents. So, I think to them, you’re stuck with whoever you’re stuck with and if your uncle rapes you then it sucks to be you.