#Your wanting to not have aforementioned experiences does not relate to asexuality it relates to transness

[asexualconfessions]

anon I am not going to post your ask because it doesn't relate to asexuality or aromanticism, I'm sorry!!

[consoledacup]

Re: chemistry btwn fictional couples & actors post

Mike & Greta have described themselves as best friends not siblings, so pls stop putting words into their mouths. & have done so prior to the Jordayla storyline was ever written. If ur referencing Daniel’s video, his wording also implied he views the whole cast as being like siblings. Greta did not affirm what he said. He along with you and many others lack the vocabulary to describe your observations. (not abt AA cast — just a general suggestion: look up Eriattraction if u don’t have appropriate vocabulary to describe ur opinion).

Regardless of chemistry being subjective, unless explicitly stated as otherwise, the actors of non-sibling fictional couples are typically being PAID TO ACT as if they are aesthetically, romantically, & sexually (etc) attracted to each other. It does not matter if the viewer doesn't see that. The subjectiveness of what the viewer sees is mainly due to or informed by their own preconceived notions, personal lived experiences, & irl observations/interactions with others.

The aforementioned type of fictional couples are literally NOT paid to act as if they’re siblings lol, like never! & if you’re genuinely describing the chemistry of ANY non-sibling fictional couples as akin to sibling relationships, I pray it’s not based on any real life experiences. But if it is pls know that’s an inappropriate way to interact with ur sibling/relatives.

SN: If that’s not it, then it’s likely the typical case. People are unaware and unknowledgeable of things that are intentionally not common knowledge (e.g., y/our culture’s value system).

I’ve always questioned everything, thats just how my brain works. No matter how exhausting, my brain will always take a ‘both/and’ approach to everything. & a large part of learning about myself & wanting to better understand others, unfortunately, involved learning about ‘societal default settings’. In this case, I’d suggest learning about romantic sex-based relationship hierarchy, relationship anarchy, compulsory heterosexuality, compulsory allosexuality, split model of attraction, heteronormativity, & amatanormativity.

If not, I have thoughts about how those things relate to AA & can offer a brief analysis of the vortex dynamics; & why vast majority of tv shows w/the ‘stable Love Dodecahedra’ trope where ‘everyone stays friends’ tends to be an unsuccessful written creative endeavor (to the extent that viewers are convinced the work FEELS & IS (a) realistic &/or (b) justified in-universe to willingly suspend disbelief as they watch).

Alrighty then!!! WOW.

What an in-depth response to the surface-level accusations made.

But I gotta admit, you lost me when you brought in terms typically discussed in the queer, specifically asexual, community. If you're comfortable, do you mind discussing this with me privately off anon? If not, send more asks my way. :)

Also, YES. I'd LOVE to hear more thoughts you have about the stable Love Dodecahedra trope and pop culture, and how the trope relates to the AAU and the (gasp!) shifting romantic dynamics in the Vortex.

[lgbtqia-representation]

Marginalization within the LGBTQIA+ Community

Sexuality has and always will be a hotspot of discussion for everyone because of how central it is to anyone’s life; so then why is it that certain communities are still ostracized? Within any realm, there are people who perfectly fit into the bubble and others who seemingly never fit into it. While the LGBTQIA+ community, even by its ever-extending name alone, strives for inclusion there are sadly some aspects that are still less accepted within it, and even more so within society. “Pride, the one place that is supposed to be a safe haven for people of all sexual orientations is all too often a place where they must battle the same misconceptions that they encounter among heterosexual people.” (Allen)

Bisexual

Despite ironically being part of the original acronym “LGBT”, bisexuals have never really been part of it. “That June 2018 YouGov data shows that 20 percent of Americans now identify as something other than “completely heterosexual” or “completely homosexual.” That would amount to about 65 million people—a population approaching the size of California and Texas combined.” (Allen)

This community is large and vastly growing in representation each year at Pride events worldwide. Yet ironically the community faces two starkly different complications. First, the idea that bisexuality is simply a phase. People constantly assume that the individual claiming to be bisexual is simply indecisive about their own orientation. Even mass media like “The L Word”, a lesbian central TV show with hints at bisexualism, makes comments along the lines of, “Pick a side��. While the show has all sorts of other redeeming qualities, comments sadly are still highly remembered and affect the community.

Secondly, building off the first part, that because they are “just a phase” there is not a community for them of likeminded individuals. A bisexual is heavily affected by interpretation. For this example, we will assume the bisexual is a woman. If she shows up to an event with a current female partner, it is assumed she is lesbian. Whereas if she shows up with a male partner, she is assumed to be straight. In no situation does the individual get properly identified as a bisexual. This leaves them as dissociated from the community as a large based on who they are currently dating. “This hunger for representation from what is, in fact, a statistical majority of the LGBT community speaks to the fact that bisexual people face discrimination both from within that community and from the world at large.” (Allen)

Organizations like #StillBisexual work to connect the community through inspiring stories that shine a light on real issues from real people within the bisexual community.

The Asexual Spectrum

Before we delve in, if you feel you don’t know too much about asexual spectrum here is an amazing source that breaks down the different forms attractions/connection and how they relate to a person’s sexuality. Check it out here!

The LGBTQIA means asexual, not ally, like so many assume. This is just the tip of the iceberg of the issues they experience. Asexual means they are not sexual attracted to any person. This plays an important role in spreading awareness of the different types of attractions that are fundamental aspects to each of us people. Below is a wonderful depiction of the different types of attraction:

So, as you may have assumed from the title, asexuality is not a one and done sort of deal in explaining, rather it is a spectrum. This spectrum encompasses levels and frequency of attraction and desire to engage in sexual behaviors. On one end, a person would never want to have sex, whereas on the far other end, they would love to be having sex constantly. Within the middle area are the more normal sexual attraction tendencies. When looking at the asexual area of the spectrum other forms of attraction can affect how much someone may want to have sex.

Due to the lack of sexual desire, a lot of asexuals face rejection from the LGBTQIA+ community on the grounds that they do not want to have sex. However, this realm of the community still strives for all the same aspects as any other member: inclusion in media, destigmatizing of their sexual habits, and a desire to connect with likeminded individuals.

“Sex positivity is a long overdue movement meant to celebrate sex: Everyone should be able to have it, whenever and with whomever they want. But for some people that means maybe never with maybe no one.” (Khosla)

Demisexual

Within the realms of asexuality is demisexuality. This sexuality focuses on mental attraction and established relationships. The stereotype behind this sexuality is that of falling in love with your best friend. This is completely since friends are the only options for who they can feel attraction to. Without pre-established friendships, common interests and connections, or past histories together, a demisexual will feel nothing for someone.

This sexuality just like the others of this section face their biggest issue in the form of misunderstandings. Many people sadly assume that this is the same thing as “wanting to wait for the right person”. The issue with this is that as a person with a normal sexual attraction level, a person will look sexually appealing, whereas for demisexuals they do not. There is no sexual attraction and interests in any way until the emotional bonds are established.

“And from one demisexual to another, I will tell you this: we will not have our knight in shining armour, and that is okay. I will have some peace of minding knowing that the aforementioned knight is not a raving lunatic/serial axe-murderer masquerading around as a knight.” (Narasimhan)

Pansexual

Pansexual is one of the more complex sexual orientations while also simultaneously being the easiest in concept. Pansexuality and bisexuality are often used interchangeably which is not correct due to some very specific nuances. “Bi” derived from Latin means “two,” in the case of sexualities they mean the two standard gender options of male and female only. In contrast, a pansexual can be attracted to literally any person, any gender identity, and any gender expression. Pansexuality is specifically not rooted in the binary that bisexuality is rooted in.

As easy to be seen, with so many assumptions made about this sexuality it is hard to feel accepted into the community. They are constantly facing struggles about what their sexuality even is especially because it confronts the binary standard of sexes and gender expression. Overall, this sexuality is simply being attracted outside of the confines of societal binaries.

References:

Allen, Samantha. “Why Bisexuals Feel Ignored and Insulted at LGBT Pride.” The Daily Beast, The Daily Beast Company, 23 June 2018, www.thedailybeast.com/why-bisexuals-feel-ignored-and-insulted-at-lgbt-pride.

“Asexuality, Attraction, and Romantic Orientation.” LGBTQ, lgbtq.unc.edu/resources/exploring-identities/asexuality-attraction-and-romantic-orientation.

“Bisexual Health Facts.” Still Bisexual, stillbisexual.com/education/.

Boog, Isa. “What Is the Difference between Being Asexual and Demisexual?” Quora, 4 Sept. 2018, www.quora.com/What-is-the-difference-between-being-asexual-and-demisexual.

Khosla, Proma. “How the Queer Community Can Embrace the Asexual Spectrum.” Mashable, 26 June 2019, mashable.com/article/sex-positivity-asexual-demisexual-community/.

McNamara, Brittney. “This New Discovery About Bisexual Teen Girls Is Troubling.” Teen Vogue, Teen Vogue, 26 May 2017, www.teenvogue.com/story/bisexual-teen-girls-depression-suicide-ideation-young-women.

Narasimhan, Harshita, et al. “What Is Demisexuality, You Ask? Here's A Quick Primer.” Feminism in India, 7 June 2018, feminisminindia.com/2016/10/24/demisexuality-quick-primer/.

“Pan Pride All Day Long.” Facebook, www.facebook.com/panpridealldaylong/.

“Pin on Pride.” Pinterest, www.pinterest.com/pin/855754366679055022/.

Rosenblum, Karen Elaine, and Toni-Michelle Travis, editors. The Meaning of Difference. 5th ed., McGraw-Hill Education, 2008.

“Still Bisexual.” Still Bisexual, stillbisexual.com/.

Thomas, Sophie Saint. “What's the Difference Between Pansexuality and Bisexuality?” Cosmopolitan, Cosmopolitan, 18 Dec. 2020, www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a20776748/pansexual-vs-bisexual-differences/.

Images:

Krishnan Rajagopalan, Lyndon A. Taylor 30 Apr 2020, et al. “The Evolution of LGBTQ Inclusion: Building Cultures of Greater Acceptance and Stronger Communities.” The Evolution of LGBTQ Inclusion: Building Cultures of Greater Acceptance and Stronger Communities | Heidrick & Struggles, www.heidrick.com/Knowledge-Center/Publication/The-evolution-of-LGBTQ-inclusion.

[kaibacxrps]

Name / Alias: Vani Are you over 18?   Yes  /  No Is your muse(s) over 18?    Yes /  No  / Verse Dependent When was your blog established? The first blog for Kaiba was made in May 2020, then I moved him here in June of 2020. Quebracabeca September 2020.

– W R I T I N G  –

Are you selective about who you write with?

No (anyone)  /  Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people) / Private (mutuals only).

Are you selective about who you follow?

No (anyone) / Semi (most people) /  Yes (some people) /  Highly (few people).

If your muse is canon, how much do you adhere to canon?

Not at all  / A little  / Some / Mostly /  Strictly / Not Applicable. (I try to fill in parts, where the canon left it very vague or open to interpretation really. I also follow the anime’s take on the series, so keep that in mind.)

What post lengths do you write?

One-Liners  / Single-Para / Multi-Para /  Novella / All of the aforementioned. (one-liners are only for crack/dash shenanigans.)

Do you use icons and/or GIFS?

No  /  Gifs / Icons /  Yes / Sometimes.

Do you write on other platforms?

No / Yes (discord)

What level of plots do you write?

Unplotted /  Open-Ended Plots  /  Semi-Plotted /  Fully Plotted Epics / All of the aforementioned (I have a huge preference for plotted stuff. Knowing the course of events and my partner’s muse makes things a lot easier for me, and overall it is a lot more enjoyable.)

How quickly do you usually respond to threads?

Very Slow (more than a month) / Slow (3-4 weeks)  / Average (1-2 weeks)  / Fast (less than one week) /  Very Fast (less than three days)  (It depends on the kind of thread & the size of it TBH)

What types of themes do you like?

Adventure / Romance / Fluff / ANGST / Violence /  Tragedy / Domestic / Family / All of the aforementioned  (Read below)

WHAT GENRES DO YOU LIKE? ( Feel free to add! )

High Fantasy / Supernatural / Science Fiction / Historical / Horror /  Comedy / Romantic / Drama / Action / Smut / Adventure /  Espionage / All of the aforementioned

Are there any themes you’re uncomfortable writing on your blog? (Not triggers)

No  / Yes /  Sometimes ( Gore can leave me feeling ill, it’s a grey area to me- sometimes I feel sick while reading certain descriptions, but others I dion’t mind it... Go figure. I’m also not against delving into darker/taboo themes for plots, however I’m careful about who to talk about these things. I only do them with those close to me & I know I can trust on. I refuse to romanticize any of those subjects & I know that won’t happen with those partners. )

Do you have any triggers? How do you request it tagged?

I have no triggers! But I ask for my mutuals to tag anything related to politics/IRL stuff, Sorry not sorry. I don’t think that a RP blog is the best place for these things IMO. Keep it to your personal or a blog specifically meant for those things. I come here to relax.

LAbel & call me all sorts of names. But I think there are better places & the right time to talk about these serious subjects. I will unfollow, if I feel like my dash is being spammed about these things. It’s nothing against the person, it’s just that I’m not interested in seeing stuff about it around here.

– S H I P P I N G –

What types of relationships are you open to?

Romantic /  Platonic  /  Familial / All of the aforementioned (It all depends on the chemistry, and IC development. Ironically, I’m extremely picky about platonic/familial relationships, due to having bad experiences with it in the past.)

What types of pre-established relationships are you open to?

Romantic  /  Platonic /  Familial / All of the aforementioned (so long as we have managed to come up with something that works well for both muses)

Do you have OTPs?

No /  Chemistry Only / Yes (But a full on shipping verse around here, heavily depends on the chemistry between muses).

Kaiba: rival (Yugi/Kaiba). Set: scandal (Atem/Set- I mainly write this off tumblr, I’m currently testing- seeing the reception to me writing this ship around here), ? (Seto C. Rosenkreuz/Set), headddress (Mahad/Set). Atem: pride (Kaiba/Atem)

Do you have NOTPS?

No / Yes (These are my straight up “no”s, don’t even try it. You’ll only be wasting your time, man.)

Kaiba: Tabloid (Mokuba/Seto), Mirror (Noah/Seto) and puppy/violet (Jou/Seto) Set: Corrupt (TKB/Set) Atem: IDK the names of the ships but, any version of Bakura (ryou/yami/TK)/Atem.

What is your muse’s sexual orientation?

Heterosexual /  Heteroflexible  / Bisexual / Pansexual /  Homoflexible  / Homosexual / Demisexual /  Sapiosexual /  Asexual / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse you’re asking

Kaiba: Homosexual Set and Atem: Bisexual

What is your muse’s romantic orientation?

Heteroromantic /  Heteroflexible  / Biromantic /  Homoflexible  /  Homoromantic   / Panromantic / Demiromantic /  Sapioromantic  / Aromantic / Still trying to figure it out /  Depends on the muse you’re asking 

Kaiba: Homoromantic, although he is unable to fall in love with anyone. Set and Atem: Biromantic, with no clear preference.

Are you comfortable writing smut?

No  / Selectively / Yes (But I’m very selective when it comes to Atem, I just feel like I’d rather keep that only to plotted shipping AUs)

How early in a relationship do you ship romantically?

Autoship / During plotting  /  After a couple IC interactions / Several IC interactions / Slow burn / Plot dependent /  Never  (Man it just happens)

Are you open to toxic ships?

No / Selectively  / Yes  / I am not sure (I’m very selective about who I’d write such subject. I personally, prefer doing this by myself. I’m not opposed to writing it with others, I just want to make sure nothing will be romanticized during the plotting/writing of such relationship. And due to a few bad apples in the past, I’ve become wary of giving others a shot at this.)

Are you open to problematic ships?

No /  Selectively / Yes / I am not sure (Aside from the ones mentioned above, and some obvious stuff that I won’t write [namely pedophilia, incest (outside of the AE context), etc]. I’m open to pretty much anything, ofc depending on the ship I’d rather keep it to discord.)

Are you open to polyshipping?

No /  Selectively  / Yes / I am not sure (Most of my muses aren’t open to such thing though, but I’d be more than glad to give it a shot <3)

Are you an exclusive shipper?

Never / Sometimes / Yes / I would be open to discuss it (Nah man, I’ve tried it a few times but it just ain’t for me.)

Does crack shipping ever happen?

Nope / Yes / depends / altho they normally become normal ships (Stares @ my ships from other blogs)

[array-of-solutions]

Black Mold Specialist in Greenville SC – Array of Solutions

Array of Solutions is a purely local and family-owned black mold specialist in Greenville, SC. Since 2005 it has been serving for mold and water damage services in Greenville and surrounding areas. We are a specialist black mold remediation company in Greenville. We charge a low price and affordable price in comparison to national companies and provide the quality service as well.

What is Black Mold/Stachybotrys?

Stachybotrys is a genus of molds, asexually reproducing which classifies it as a ‘hyphomycete’ belonging to the kingdom of ‘fungi’. Nearly all Stachybotrys infestations locate and proliferate in and on hosting materials rich in cellulose.  This would include but not be limited to; Sheetrock paper, ceiling building tiles, carpets, and many, many more.  Moisture is the key ingredient to BLACK MOLD survival.   The appearance is nearly always different, and I have had cases where it is not black.  Therefore not all molds that are black in color are “Stachybotrys” and not all “Stachybotrys” is BLACK MOLD.  The origin of “Stachybotrys” is from the Greek word ‘Stakhus’. (grain or ear, sticks, or stalks or “Stachy”.  “Botrus” refers to cluster or bunch, trusses.

The most notorious type or species (S. Chartarum and S. Chlorohalonata) are known as “Black Mold” or “Toxic Black Mold” in the United States of America and relate or common when poor air quality indoors which occurs when growing fungus takes root on water-damaged building materials.

What can exposure to BLACK MOLD or Stachybotrys do to you?

Exposure to this has wide and varied effects on each individual.  Factors like how long, how much and the individual’s age is all significant when asking this question.  Symptoms typically impact membranes with mucous, the mouth, nose, and throat, flu and cold like symptoms; a cough, sneezing, nausea, bloody discharge and fatigue.  I have seen people affected by lymph node irritation and skin problems.  The significance of BLACK MOLD has only recently gained notoriety.  According to ‘Wikipedia’, “In the 1990s after analysis of two infantile deaths and multiple cases in children from the poor areas of Cleveland, Ohio due to pulmonary hemorrhage were initially linked to exposure to heavy amounts of Stachybotrys chartarum. Subsequent and extensive reanalysis of the cases by the United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have failed to find any link between the deaths and the mold exposure.”

What does Black Mold look like?

This relates to the aforementioned question about ‘Stachybotrys’.  In my carrier as a mold expert,, I have addressed   over 1000 mold issues,   There have been cases where mold that is black in color is not ‘Stachybotrys’, as well as jobs where there was no visible mold but air samples indicate large quantities of ‘Stachybotrys’.  The reader’s digest version of the answer to this question is to have a Certified Mold Expert such as Doug Whitehead of Arrayofsolutions.com addresses your issue.  Without testing and inspection, there is no way to tell if black mold is ‘Stachybotrys’ or not.

Black Mold and Moisture Testing

Douglas Whitehead here again from Arrayofsolutions.com to talk about the lesser known perils of moisture, rain, poor drainage and mold in your home or business. The purpose of this explanation is to revisit what moisture can do to the biggest investment most Americans ever make. Your Home!

A quick story of one of my customer’s experiences with purchasing a home and mold testing; Joe, (who is now a good friend since working for him) was a newlywed, working for a local prominent corporation.  He was in the market for a new home.  Like most young newlywed’s, he was wanting to live in a favorable community within close range to his job.  Joe wanted to live in one of the nicer neighborhoods in Simpsonville, SC. Unfortunately, the neighborhood he wished to inhabit was quite pricey and out of his budget.  Joe is savvy and had found a gorgeous home within his price range.  The home had a new roof with 30-year architectural shingles.  There are three floors and a three car garage.  Four minutes from Interstate Eighty-Five or I-85 as called here in the Upstate.  Surrounded by large oak trees, quiet, loaded w/ great people, Joe wanted this home.  Why was this home in his price range? “MOLD”!  The home was part of a nasty divorce where both involved vacated the home and left it that way for two or three years.  They did not run the HVAC system, shut all utilities off and let it return to nature.  The home went into foreclosure and was being sold ‘As Is’ for one-third of its sale price just three years earlier.  Joe called several local mold experts and trusted Arrayofsolutions.com with remediating and warranting his home.  Joe’s wife is now is pregnant with her second child and has been happy and mold free since our exchange.  To make a long story short; Ignoring moisture and odors in your home reduce the biggest investment you ever make to be worth only pennies on the dollar.  Call Douglas Whitehead @ “Arrayofsolutions.com” today for $150 mold test and full inspection to protect your investment.

Black Mold and Real Estate

The title of this post was sarcasm. You will not be able to sell/buy a home in the Upstate of SC while your crawlspace is contaminated. 9 out of 10 times, the cause is; a. Moisture b. Open Vents C. Lack of vapor barrier and moisture control

Arrayofsolutions.com places most of their efforts under people’s houses. While most families are enjoying typical summertime activities, I, along with my right-hand man James, are in your home. Snakes? Spiders? Rodents and more? YOU BET!! However, we have made an art out of changing deplorable, poetry dish like environments into pristine, dry, energy saving storage spaces. The best part about my Company is that we do this (usually w/ short notice) in two days or less for as much as 1/2 of what the Big Companies charge. We also offer a 5-year transferable warranty.

 Black Mold in Crawl Space

Should a crawlspace be as clean as your home? The scientific reasoning behind this statement is referred to as “the stacking effect”. 52% of the air in your crawlspace is succinctly correlated with the air quality in your family’s home. In short, neglected crawlspace contributes to poor air quality in your living space. There is a direct connection between the health of your family and the condition of your crawlspace. The hardest part of my job is telling responsible homeowners that their family is sick because of their crawlspace. The second hardest part is telling folks that 98%$ of insurance companies do not cover crawlspace moisture.

Upstate Mold Desensitization | Black Mold

As a mold expert in Upstate South Carolina for the last 18 years, the same circumstances arise time and time again. Black Mold desensitization is all too common when entering a customer’s home. Array of Solutions phone rings when curious customers call with a concern. These concerns range from; “We are selling our home, but did not pass our CL100.” (This is a standard test done by home inspectors which requires moisture levels to be below twenty percent in the crawlspace structural members.). Also common are health concerns; “My child has been suffering from abnormal respiratory issues, unlike his / her peers.” Least common is; “We notice an odor whenever we heat/cool our home.” When inspections are conducted, we always ask to enter the home. Because we do the same thing over and over, year after year, we can smell what home and business owners have become desensitized. That would be the odor of black mold. When mold reproduces, then it off-gasses. This is what you would smell in barns, vacant buildings, historical sites, and homes with crawl spaces. However, you may be desensitized to the odor in your home or business and should call a local expert to perform an environmental analysis.

 How do you kill Black Mold?

Black Mold is technically called ‘Stachybotrys’.  Not all molds that are black in color are the notorious ‘Stachybotrys’.

I cannot operate as an expert without first testing any mold concerns.  Samples are first taken to a Nationally Accredited Lab so that the protocol can be adjusted accordingly.  Stachybotrys is the most toxic mold known to man-kind and typically, whatever has been affected needs to removed completely using extreme caution.  If mold is black in color but proved not to be ‘Stachybotrys’, then you need to clean mold.

 Call me, if you or a loved one has any of these concerns, Doug Whitehead today @ 864-710-6413 and I will answer the phone, come to your home and perform whatever helps you and your family. Arrayofsolutions.com is a small local company that produces big results.

[splenderai]

What does it feel like being aro? Because I identify as demiromantic and lately I've been wondering if I'm just full aro. Like I've had crushes before and can imagine being in love but like actually being with someone??? Wouldn't know what to do or anything. Or am I just being paranoid because never in my 20+ years have I had a relationship?

Hello, anon ! This got very long (I apologize in advance !), so I'll be putting this under a read more.

It's... different.

You often feel alienated from everyone else. Everyone outside of the aro spectrum (alloromantics), whether they're straight, gay, bi, pan, or any other identity, experiences romantic attraction and can, on some level, relate to other alloromantics (the shared desire to fall in love, go on dates, maybe get married, etc.) That's not exactly the case for us aros. While some of us are okay with and can appreciate romance in theory, that's not true for all aros. Some have varying levels of repulsion towards romance. For me, I don't usually mind the idea of romantic relationships, but I'm repulsed by even the mere thought of being in one myself. I feel physically ill and uncomfortable at the thought of someone being interested in me in that way, and my mind completely blocks out the idea of me being in a romantic relationship with all the fixings. It's a complicated relationship with romance. While I can enthusiastically talk about, say, a couple in a series I'm watching and share that excitement with another fan, or I can feel real joy about a friend getting into a relationship and listen with interest about what that relationship is like, I can also be really repulsed with certain discussions of romance and struggle to understand certain kinds of relationships that are just not logical to me (like people who date who aren't friends or people who say they fall in love after a week of knowing someone). Society also puts a huge emphasis on romance and makes it seem like such an enormous and important part of your life. People around you are always talking about it starting from a young age. Television shows, movies, and other types of media are oversaturated with romantic plotlines. (As a result, representation for us in mainstream media is practically non-existent.) Romantic relationships are even placed on a pedestal and viewed by some as being more valuable and just overall better than platonic ones. None of it makes sense, and you feel a real disconnect from all these ideas and feelings that are just natural and commonplace to just about everyone around you.

It's tiring. Amatonormativity also leads to a lot of negativity and ridicule directed at single individuals. You're seen as immature if you've never dated before, and even in middle and high school kids will make fun of you if you've never had a significant other. If you're not married by the age of 35, people will assume you're undesirable, have a terrible personality, or something else of the sort. It's always assumed that there is a problem with you. A person who wants to live on your own with a pet makes you the Crazy Cat Lady who is someone you should avoid or never become yourself. When you try to tell others that you don't experience romantic attraction, they might say you sound ridiculous, that you just haven't found the right person yet (or worse, they might even see it as a challenge and try to pursue a relationship with you), that (especially if you're cis aroace or cis aro and heterosexual) you're just making it up so that you can feel special and weasel your way into the lgbtq+ community where you don't belong.

It's scary sometimes. Society tries to hammer into you (starting from a very young age) the idea that you're meant to find the love of your life with whom you'll spend the rest of your days. You'll have your 2.4 kids and spouse by your side, so you won't die alone. It's almost like there's this guidebook for the future, and yet you find yourself flipping through the pages trying to find the chapter or even just a footnote about people like us and what we can expect. Society tells us we'll be forever alone. Yeah, you have your friends, but they're likely alloromantics and at some point they'll be too tied up with their nuclear families or romantic partner(s) to fill that lonely void you'll have. Society doesn't have a positive outlook for people like us, so we have to forge our own paths.

There's usually a lot of inner struggle involved. Because of society's emphasis on romance and amatonormativity, there can be some internalized arophobia that some of us struggle with. Plus, a lot of us don't learn about aspec identities until later on in life, so we've spent many hours, days, even years distraught because we were under the impression that there must have been something wrong with us. I only found out about aromanticism and asexuality when I was in university, so I had my fair share of years where I just couldn't understand why I was so different from my friends, the people on TV, and all the others around me. I know some aros who would have panic attacks because they thought that they'd inevitably have to get into a relationship, have kids, and so on because they were led to believe that there was no alternative or that it'd be even scarier to live alone for the rest of their lives. A few of my aro friends and I (and I would think a lot of other aros) have talked about how we're all almost always going through these bouts where we doubt whether or not we're actually aro. It's really hard to know if you're outright lacking romantic attraction or if those people are right and you're just a late bloomer or haven't found the right person yet. Like I could be demiromantic ? I can't really be sure, so there are times where I think I'm feeling something, and I have a crisis because it could be romantic attraction ? Or maybe it's just indigestion ?  I've also gone 20+ years without being in a relationship, so I can understand your concern there. Unfortunately, there is no easy answer.

It's a lot.

But it's also really liberating and something that a lot of us are very proud of.

When you're able to climb past the internalized arophobia and learn that you can absolutely live a very fulfilling and happy life without being in a romantic relationship, you really start to see life through a new lens and have a much more positive outlook on the future. There is nothing wrong with wanting to live alone, with a pet, with a close friend or friends (this is especially important !!! it's often looked down upon and people will insist that there must be something going on between two friends living together but that doesn't have to be the case !!!). All of these are options available to you. You're never truly alone, either. A lot of us have really great relationships with our friends and family (blood or found), in part because we don't put romantic relationships on a pedestal and tend to spend more time with them since we're just not involved in romance. There are interest groups out there (both locally and long distance like on the internet) that you can join to meet new people and do or talk about something you really enjoy (ex. a dnd group that meets weekly). Maybe even get to know your coworkers ! In most cases, you see them eight hours a week, five days a week, and it can be nice learning about these familiar faces (some of my closest friends have been current or former coworkers). There are communal housing initiatives out there where you can have your own space, but you are also surrounded by neighbors (similar to dorm life in university). You want kids but don't want to have a romantic partner or spouse ? You can adopt and coparent with a close friend ! There are so many possibilities out there, and I hope that one day they will become more accepted and even commonplace in society.

It's a lot to consider, and these are only my own experiences and those of my friends and others that I've read about over the years. The best way to figure out whether or not you're aro is to talk to other aros, read the accounts of other aros to see what their own concerns, experiences, and thoughts are on their own identity, and read through some helpful resources on aromanticism ! This blog is a really nice place to start, and this is also a really great resource (that I found on the aforementioned blog). If you're still unsure, that's totally valid and understandable ! If you feel more comfortable using the aromantic label in the meantime, that's absolutely okay, too ! Just like with sexuality, romantic attraction can be fluid, too. If the you today feels closer to aromantic than demiromantic, then you can identify as such. If you realize that you are demiromantic or even something else later on down the road, that's also okay ! You're just as valid either way. Remember that, anon. It's okay to be aro, it's okay to be arospec, and it's okay if that changes down the road. At the end of the day, you're you !

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24 Hours to Improving Cam Whores

“One is just not born, but instead results in being, a lady.”

Simone de Beauvoir, The next Sex (1949)

In nature, male and woman are distinct. She-elephants are gregarious, he-elephants solitary. Male zebra finches are loquacious – the females mute. Woman inexperienced spoon worms are two hundred,000 moments more substantial than their male mates. These striking differences are biological – nevertheless they result in differentiation in social roles and talent acquisition.

Alan Pease, writer of a guide titled “Why Adult males Don’t Pay attention and girls Can’t Examine Maps”, believes that Women of all ages are spatially-challenged when compared with Adult men. The British organization, Admiral Insurance plan, done a examine of 50 % one million statements. They observed that “Ladies had been almost 2 times as very likely as Males to possess a collision in a vehicle park, 23 p.c far more likely to strike a stationary car, and fifteen percent more likely to reverse into One more automobile” (Reuters).

Nonetheless gender “distinctions” are frequently the results of bad scholarship. Contemplate Admiral insurance’s details. As Britain’s Automobile Affiliation (AA) properly pointed out – women motorists are likely to make extra small journeys all around towns and searching facilities and these contain Regular parking. As a result their ubiquity in specific styles of claims. Pertaining to Women of all ages’s alleged spatial deficiency, in Britain, women are outperforming boys in scholastic aptitude tests – which includes geometry and maths – considering that 1988.

Within an Op-Ed revealed because of the Ny Situations on January 23, 2005, Olivia Judson cited this example

“Beliefs that Guys are intrinsically much better at this or which have consistently brought about discrimination and prejudice, after which they’ve been proved to generally be nonsense. Women of all ages had been assumed to not be planet-course musicians. But when American symphony orchestras introduced blind auditions while in the 1970’s – the musician performs behind a display screen in order that his or her gender is invisible to Individuals listening – the amount of women supplied Careers in professional orchestras greater. Equally, in science, studies from the ways that grant programs are evaluated have demonstrated that Ladies are more likely to get funding when These reading through the programs don't know the sex from the applicant.”

On another wing of your divide, Anthony Clare, a British psychiatrist and author of “On Guys” wrote:

“In the beginning from the 21st century it can be hard to avoid the summary that Adult males are in really serious trouble. Throughout the globe, made and establishing, antisocial habits is basically male. Violence, sexual abuse of youngsters, illicit drug use, alcohol misuse, gambling, all are overwhelmingly male things to do. The courts and prisons bulge with men. In regards to aggression, delinquent habits, hazard having and social mayhem, Adult men earn gold.”

Males also mature later, die earlier, tend to be more susceptible to infections and many forms of most cancers, are more likely to be dyslexic, to have problems with a host of psychological well being Conditions, including Notice Deficit Hyperactivity Condition (ADHD), and to dedicate suicide.

In her e book, “Stiffed: The Betrayal from the American Male”, Susan Faludi describes a crisis of masculinity subsequent the breakdown of manhood models and work and household buildings in the last five decades. While in the movie “Boys don’t Cry”, a teenage Woman binds her breasts and functions the male in the caricatural relish of stereotypes of virility. Being a man is merely a state of intellect, the movie indicates.

But Exactly what does it really necessarily mean being a “male” or a “female”? Are gender id and sexual Choices genetically decided? Can they be decreased to 1’s sex? Or are they amalgams of biological, social, and psychological things in frequent interaction? Are they immutable lifelong features or dynamically evolving frames of self-reference?

In the aforementioned Big apple Occasions Op-Ed, Olivia Judson opines:

“Several sex distinctions are usually not, hence, the results of his owning a person gene although she has another. Instead, These are attributable to the way individual genes behave if they discover themselves in him rather than her. The magnificent difference between male and feminine eco-friendly spoon worms, as an example, has nothing at all to accomplish with their getting various genes: Every single inexperienced spoon worm larva could go In either case. Which sexual intercourse it results in being depends upon whether it satisfies a feminine throughout its 1st three months of life. If it meets a female, it gets to be male and prepares to regurgitate; if it doesn’t, it gets woman and settles right into a crack on the sea flooring.”

Yet, specific traits attributed to at least one’s intercourse are certainly superior accounted for via the requires of one’s setting, by cultural variables, the entire process of socialization, gender roles, and what George Devereux known as “ethnopsychiatry” in “Simple Difficulties of Ethnopsychiatry” (University of Chicago Push, 1980). He proposed to divide the unconscious in to the id (the element which was generally instinctual and unconscious) and the “ethnic unconscious” (repressed materials that was as soon as aware). The latter is mostly molded by prevailing cultural mores and features all our defense mechanisms and a lot of the superego.

So, how can we inform whether or not our sexual position is generally inside our blood or in our brains?

The scrutiny of borderline scenarios of human sexuality – notably the transgendered or intersexed – can generate clues as to the distribution and relative weights of biological, social, and psychological determinants of gender identification formation.

The outcomes of a review conducted by Uwe Hartmann, Hinnerk Becker, and Claudia Rueffer-Hesse in 1997 and titled “Self and Gender: Narcissistic Pathology and Individuality Components in Gender Dysphoric Sufferers”, published within the “Intercontinental Journal of Transgenderism”, “suggest important psychopathological features and narcissistic dysregulation in a considerable proportion of sufferers.” Are these “psychopathological elements” basically reactions to fundamental physiological realities and improvements? Could social ostracism and labeling have induced them in the “clients”?

The authors conclude:

“The cumulative evidence of our research … is consistent with the watch that gender dysphoria is actually a dysfunction of your sense of self as has actually been proposed by Beitel (1985) or Pffflin (1993). The central problem in our patients is about identity plus the self generally speaking along with the transsexual want is apparently an try at reassuring and stabilizing the self-coherence which in turn can cause a further destabilization In the event the self is currently much too fragile. Within this perspective your body is instrumentalized to make a perception of identification plus the splitting symbolized inside the hiatus involving the rejected system-self and also other elements of the self is more between very good and terrible objects than amongst masculine and feminine.”

Freud, Kraft-Ebbing, and Fliess instructed that we've been all bisexual to a particular Real Life Cam Sex degree. As early as 1910, Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld argued, in Berlin, that absolute genders are “abstractions, invented extremes”. The consensus nowadays is always that just one’s sexuality is, generally, a psychological construct which demonstrates gender function orientation.

Joanne Meyerowitz, a professor of history at Indiana College as well as editor with the Journal of American Heritage observes, in her not too long ago released tome, “How Sexual intercourse Transformed: A Background of Transsexuality in The usa”, the quite this means of masculinity and femininity is in regular flux.

Transgender activists, suggests Meyerowitz, insist that gender and sexuality depict “unique analytical types”. The The big apple Moments wrote in its critique in the e-book: “Some male-to-woman transsexuals have intercourse with Adult males and connect with themselves homosexuals. Some woman-to-male transsexuals have intercourse with Gals and get in touch with themselves lesbians. Some transsexuals connect with them selves asexual.”

So, it really is all from the thoughts, you see.

This would be getting it too significantly. A considerable body of scientific proof factors to your genetic and Organic underpinnings of sexual behavior and Tastes.

The German science journal, “Geo”, described just lately that the males in the fruit fly “drosophila melanogaster” switched from heterosexuality to homosexuality since the temperature while in the lab was elevated from 19 to 30 levels Celsius. They reverted to chasing girls as it absolutely was decreased.

The brain structures of homosexual sheep are distinct to Those people of straight sheep, a study carried out not long ago by the Oregon Overall health & Science College as well as U.S. Section of Agriculture Sheep Experiment Station in Dubois, Idaho, discovered. Related discrepancies ended up identified in between gay Guys and straight types in 1995 in Holland and in other places. The preoptic place of your hypothalamus was greater in heterosexual Adult men than in each homosexual men and straight Ladies.

According an short article, titled “When Sexual Advancement Goes Awry”, by Suzanne Miller, released inside the September 2000 difficulty with the “Environment and I”, several health-related conditions give rise to sexual ambiguity. Congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH), involving abnormal androgen manufacturing by the adrenal cortex, ends in blended genitalia. Somebody with the whole androgen insensitivity syndrome (AIS) provides a vagina, exterior female genitalia and operating, androgen-creating, testes – but no uterus or fallopian tubes.

People with the rare 5-alpha reductase deficiency syndrome are born with ambiguous genitalia. They appear at first to become ladies. At puberty, this sort of someone develops testicles and his clitoris swells and becomes a penis. Hermaphrodites have both ovaries and testicles (each, in most cases, alternatively undeveloped). In some cases the ovaries and testicles are merged into a chimera named ovotestis.

These types of people have the chromosomal composition of a woman together with traces with the Y, male, chromosome. All hermaphrodites have a large penis, nevertheless hardly ever produce sperm. Some hermaphrodites build breasts for the duration of puberty and menstruate. Not many even get Expecting and give birth.

Anne Fausto-Sterling, a developmental geneticist, professor of clinical science at Brown University, and creator of “Sexing the Body”, postulated, in 1993, a continuum of 5 sexes to supplant The present dimorphism: males, merms (male pseudohermaphrodites), herms (genuine hermaphrodites), ferms (woman pseudohermaphrodites), and ladies.

Intersexuality (hermpahroditism) can be a purely natural human condition. We have been all conceived Along with the probable to develop into either intercourse. The embryonic developmental default is woman. A series of triggers in the to start with months of pregnancy areas the fetus on the path to maleness.

In uncommon circumstances, some Ladies Have got a male’s genetic make-up (XY chromosomes) and vice versa. But, in the vast majority of scenarios, on the list of sexes is clearly chosen. Relics of your stifled sex stay, though. Girls possess the clitoris being a style of symbolic penis. Adult men have breasts (mammary glands) and nipples.

The Encyclopedia Britannica 2003 edition describes the formation of ovaries and testes Consequently:

“Inside the younger embryo a pair of gonads create which have been indifferent or neutral, displaying no indication whether or not they are destined to acquire into testes or ovaries. There's also two different duct systems, certainly one of which might establish into the feminine program of oviducts and relevant equipment and the opposite in the male sperm duct program. As development of your embryo proceeds, either the male or the feminine reproductive tissue differentiates inside the at first neutral gonad in the mammal.”

Nonetheless, sexual Tastes, genitalia and in many cases secondary sex attributes, for instance facial and pubic hair are 1st order phenomena. Can genetics and biology account for male and woman conduct patterns and social interactions (“gender identification”)? Can the multi-tiered complexity and richness of human masculinity and femininity come up from less difficult, deterministic, constructing blocks?

Sociobiologists would have us think so.

For illustration: the fact that we're mammals is astonishingly typically disregarded. Most mammalian families are made up of mom and offspring. Males are peripatetic absentees. Arguably, high rates of divorce and beginning away from wedlock coupled with rising promiscuity simply reinstate this natural “default method”, observes Lionel Tiger, a professor of anthropology at Rutgers University in New Jersey. That a few quarters of all divorces are initiated by Gals tends to aid this look at.

On top of that, gender identification is decided through gestation, claim some scholars.

Milton Diamond of the University of Hawaii and Dr. Keith Sigmundson, a practising psychiatrist, analyzed the A great deal-celebrated John/Joan case. An unintentionally castrated regular male was surgically modified to search woman, and elevated as a lady but to no avail. He reverted to being a male at puberty.

His gender identification appears to are already inborn (assuming he was not subjected to conflicting cues from his human setting). The situation is extensively described in John Colapinto’s tome “As Nature Built Him: The Boy Who Was Lifted as a woman”.

HealthScoutNews cited a analyze published inside the November 2002 concern of “Boy or girl Progress”. The scientists, from City University of London, identified that the extent of maternal testosterone for the duration of pregnancy influences the habits of neonatal girls and renders it far more masculine. “Significant testosterone” ladies “get pleasure from routines usually considered male conduct, like twiddling with trucks or guns”. Boys’ behavior remains unaltered, according to the study.

However, other Students, like John Funds, insist that newborns undoubtedly are a “blank slate” in terms of their gender identity is anxious. This really is also the prevailing perspective. Gender and intercourse-role identities, we have been taught, are entirely fashioned in a means of socialization which ends because of the 3rd yr of daily life. The Encyclopedia Britannica 2003 edition sums it up Therefore:

“Like a person’s notion of her or his sexual intercourse purpose, gender identification develops by means of parental case in point, social reinforcement, and language. Dad and mom train sexual intercourse-correct habits to their small children from an early age, which habits is reinforced as the child grows more mature and enters a wider social planet. As the kid acquires language, he also learns incredibly early the distinction in between “he” and “she” and understands which pertains to him- or herself.”

So, which happens to be it – nature or nurture? There isn't any disputing The truth that our sexual physiology and, in all likelihood, our sexual Choices are identified from the womb. Men and women are different – physiologically and, Consequently, also psychologically.

Society, by its brokers – foremost among that happen to be family, friends, and teachers – represses or encourages these genetic propensities. It does so by propagating “gender roles” – gender-distinct lists of alleged attributes, permissible behavior styles, and prescriptive morals and norms. Our “gender identity” or “sex function” is shorthand to the way we use our purely natural genotypic-phenotypic endowments in conformity with social-cultural “gender roles”.

Inevitably as being the composition and bias of such lists adjust, so does the that means of staying “male” or “woman”. Gender roles are consistently redefined by tectonic shifts within the definition and performing of standard social units, including the nuclear family along with the office. The cross-fertilization of gender-connected cultural memes renders “masculinity” and “femininity” fluid concepts.

One particular’s sex equals just one’s bodily machines, an aim, finite, and, usually, immutable inventory. But our endowments is often put to many makes use of, in different cognitive and affective contexts, and matter to varying exegetic frameworks. Rather than “sexual intercourse” – “gender” is, therefore, a socio-cultural narrative. Equally heterosexual and homosexual Males ejaculate. Both equally straight and lesbian Girls climax. What distinguishes them from each other are subjective introjects of socio-cultural conventions, not aim, immutable “facts”.

In “The New Gender Wars”, published in the November/December 2000 issue of “Psychology Currently”, Sarah Blustain sums up the “bio-social” design proposed by Mice Eagly, a professor of psychology at Northwestern College along with a previous student of his, Wendy Wooden, now a professor on the Texas A&M University:

“Like (the evolutionary psychologists), Eagly and Wood reject social constructionist notions that every one gender discrepancies are developed by lifestyle. But on the problem of where they come from, they response in a different way: not our genes but our roles in Culture. This narrative concentrates on how societies respond to the basic biological variances – Gentlemen’s energy and women’s reproductive abilities – And the way they stimulate men and women to follow specific designs.

‘In the event you’re investing plenty of time nursing your child’, explains Wooden, ‘Then you really don’t have the chance to dedicate huge quantities of time for you to developing specialised abilities and fascinating jobs outside of the house’. And, provides Eagly, ‘if Females are billed with caring for infants, what occurs is women are more nurturing. Societies need to make the Grownup program get the job done [so] socialization of girls is organized to give them encounter in nurturing’.

In keeping with this interpretation, given that the environment alterations, so will the assortment and texture of gender dissimilarities. At a time in Western nations when female reproduction is amazingly low, nursing is totally optional, childcare solutions are many, and mechanization lessens the necessity of