#a Guide™

[captain-krow-drozdov]

Everyone Except For Siffrin Is Looping Au Except Someone Wishes That Siffrin Knew Everything There Was To Know About The Loops And Subsequently Accidently Replaces Their Non-Looping Siffrin With Post Game Canon Siffrin And They Only Find Out Cause Siffrin Gets The Memory Of Back In The Fucking Building Again.

[andy-clutterbuck]

requested by Anonymous

[kanerallels]

So I finally got a hold of The Goblin Emperor! Shout out to @abigailspinach for recommending it, it's excellent so far!! Truly like a combination of The King Of Attolia and A Conspiracy Of Kings but even worse for the protagonist

[nashidakyouko]

help i know nothing about sports but want to write a gelphie short where glinda is doing sports because of that line in popular ;w;

[hellsite-hall-of-fame]

How do you feel about staff's intent to remove reblog chains, considering your blog's basically an amalgamation of reblog chain long posts?

haha I’m actually legitimately terrified and trying really hard to not think about it :)

(seriously like i don’t wanna make a thing of it, but i’ve gone down the posts about it and like wtfff?!? why why why?!?? like I get their reasoning for it but it’s not accurate to the actual users of tumblr?? i’d rather scroll though 20 long posts than use the examples of what this would look like that I saw. but if this is wrong let me know…. but yeahhh i’m scared.)

[the-most-humble-blog]

🛐 HOW BEING YOURSELF MAKES LIFE EASIER (AND WETTER)

Let me tell you a little story.

It’s our second date. She comes over because I ordered food. Simple. Clean. No three-hour phone calls. No scavenger hunts through her trauma diary.

She steps in and asks:

"So… what are we doing?"

I said:

"Here’s the plan.

We’re gonna have sex. Then eat. Then watch a movie."

Gave her a glass of wine while I fixed our food order.

She said:

"Okay."

And we got to it.

✅ Got off the phone. ✅ Got on each other. ✅ Paused to fix the Uber Eats mistake. ✅ Went back at it like responsible adults. ✅ Then ate Chinese food and watched a terrible horror movie where the ghost was somehow less aggressive than me.

Great night. Great date. Minimal confusion. Maximum respect. Zero resentment.

🧠 WHY DID IT WORK?

Because I didn’t lie.

Because I didn’t run some weird 8th-grade mind game trying to "build sexual tension" over pad thai and passive-aggressive flirting.

Because I was myself — not some neutered audition tape for future hypothetical husbandry.

No gimmicks. No fake personalities. No pretending my couch was the altar of romantic destiny.

Just clear expectation, honest desire, and unapologetic masculine cadence.

And guess what?

✅ She was fine. ✅ She was wet. ✅ She stayed. ✅ She didn’t run for the door crying about "respect."

Because women — the real ones, the ones not playing the TikTok Victim Olympics — prefer a man who treats reality like it’s his native tongue.

🛡️ BEING YOURSELF ISN’T JUST LIBERATING.

IT’S A FUCKING TACTICAL ADVANTAGE.

When you’re yourself:

You filter the confused and the bitter before they even sit down.

You attract women whose nervous systems can handle masculine gravity.

You keep your life clean of drama, negotiation, and post-coital existential dread.

The guys running "game" are exhausted because they’re acting. You’re not.

The guys trying to "trick" women into sex are sweating through their shirts. You’re fixing food orders and getting back to business.

The guys worrying about "ruining the vibe" are vomiting emojis into DMs at midnight. You’re watching a B-grade horror flick with a naked woman curled against your chest because you knew the vibe — and made it the environment.

🤯 TL;DR

Be yourself.

Set the tone.

Speak the outcome into existence.

Adjust the food delivery, not your damn personality.

💣 CALL TO ACTION:

🔁 Reblog if you know pretending to be something you’re not is 10x more exhausting than just fixing the order and clapping cheeks like a civilized man. 🛡️ Save this post for the next time someone tells you "be yourself" like it’s a Hallmark card instead of a tactical weapon. ⚡ Send it to the friend still pretending he "doesn't know what she wants." 🔥 Bookmark it for the day you realize clarity pulls more panties than poetry.

Or simply 🔁Reblog to keep my signal to mankind going strong.

⚖️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This post is Blacksite Literature™, evolutionary cadence doctrine, masculine survival psychology, and emotional warfare engineering protected under the Covenant of the Bloodwritten.

If you’re offended: Go apologize to your pillow while real men build kingdoms with straightforward conversations and ordered chicken wings.

🛡️ BLACKSITE POST: COMPLETE. 🩸 TIMELINE PENETRATION READY.

[djevelbl]

MY KITTYYYYYYY !!!! IT IS HE !!!!! LETS GOOOOO

[nattikay]

that’s just…straight-up incorrect??? The Na'vi word for this creature is lortsyal (“beautiful wing”). I guess it’s possible that this is a subspecies with a different name (looks like they’re going for “reflection-wing”, though unless it’s a quirk of the font they spelled rì'ìr wrong (should be rì'ìr nor rì'ir)), but I can’t find rì'irtysal in any Na'vi dictionary (vs. lortsyal which is in all of them and has been around for years), I even checked recent Naviteri posts where KP introduces some of the new AFoP flora/fauna names to see if this is mentioned but nope, nothing

[bellasbookclub]

Bella's Book Club had a very well-read 2024!! 📓

We did our most ridiculous French Belgian accents. We survived M's diabolically timed movie intermissions. We thirsted after characters with the fugliest names imaginable. And of course, we mourned RPattz when he died tragically in 9/11 😔

And you were with us every step of the way! Whatever book club souls are made of, y'all's and ours are the same ❤️‍🔥

thanks for another banger year of book club shenanigans! Here's to an equally deranged 2025 💚🎆

[megaawkwardhuman]

ok so now that memo is human and isn't in the right head space to be a vampire atm what do we do now?

welp a common fan idea I see being passed around is making memo a witch (if he can never get properly prep himself to become a vampire)

I mean memo has direct ties to witches all the way back in season 2 and if nandermo get together memo will have a good supply of supplies if you know what I mean

now I'm really REALLY down with this idea (I'd love for him to be a vamp buuuuut I wouldn't be mad if he ended up becoming a witch ya know?) but there's like one big thing that makes this thing seem not at all possible is the fact that this show ain't known for bringing up things that happen in past episodes/minor characters much

don't get me wrong half of the reason I love this show is that bat shit crazy things happen/are implied/are said and then just never get brought up again (that kinda shit is my jam)

buuuut in order for the whole thing to work guillermo is going to need witches and the witches from the episode of the same name have never been brought up since that episode

so that's it then? there's no chance it'll happen? here's my little take

well 1 we all thought evie wasn't going to show up ever again and she was in this season

plus this show is very unpredictable and they might just show up one day so jot that down

2 and the whole reason why I'm making this post people tend to forget one tiny little thing

THE GUIDE KNOWS MAGIC

and this isn't a one and done thing no no no

she's used it in seasons 4 and 5 and they were used in big ways (well at least as big as a b plot)

and the guide herself likes memo enough to spare him from being trapped in season 5 episode 9

so here's what I'm pitching:

the way (or at least a way) you become a witch in wwdits canon is through reading and learning from books

books that the guide canonically have, have read, and on the rare occasion use

books she could share with memo!

so in season 6 I think we should see the guide and guillermo interact and talk to each other more

maybe after a bit have the guide slowly but surely teach him some magic (maybe guillermo asks her out of curiosity? maybe she's using it as an excuse to talk to him more? idk idk)

and after a bit if guillermo likes it have him borrow books from her and become a full on witch!

[rxttenfish]

i am now going to force myself not to look at anything about colossal or any of that stupid fucking scam shit on account of what the sheer amount of rage and rising knowledge of how much misinformation and actively harmful information this is going to create, already has, and is entirely founded upon, is currently doing to my body. i am looking away. i am entering into the peace. i am reading my new book (the first of the primitive war series). i am drinking my green tea from my nice insulated mug. if anyone mentions anything relating to de-extinction to me again i should be permitted to skin them and place them up as a piece of taxidermy (horrible because there is no good way to taxidermy a human) depicting the species known as "giant fucking son of a bitch piece of shit idiot".

[drakkonyan]

i swear. to fucking god

[maranull]

this is an SD(?) from 1992, I think, and I'm almost certain it will end up being harder than a MG due to me not knowing Japanese and also it using a slightly different guide system

will update when I know for sure

if you're wondering why this kit out of the other old ones that were in the store, it's cause "honse"

[summertimemusician]

Honestly the one thing that really frustrates me about Hyrule Warriors is how they cut Linkle being Link's sister, because otherwise it would have recontextualized Warriors entirely as a character.

This is mainly just headcanon territory, but something always bugged me about him being a knight in training from the get go, mainly because it's usually never any Link's first choice with First, Sky and Wild being the main exceptions (Gaepora took him in, and Gaepora runs the knights academy, makes sense he'd want to join then plus he'd probably want to protect Sun, plus Skylofts knights function differently than Hyrule knights, they don't have the same hierarchy and Skyloft is pretty peaceful before SS truly picks up so again, makes sense he wouldn't have troubles joining, we don't know First's reasons besides him seeing evil on the horizon and deciding if no one's was gonna do anything about it he might as well do it himself, and Wild was basically recruited at a young age for pulling the Master Sword while presumably young, he was never given a choice), we see it with Four, he's a blacksmiths apprentice under his grandfather and we see in his manga him practically baring his teeth at his father he won't become a knight and he doesn't pick up the sword unless really necessary, we see that with Time, he was raised as a Kokiri, he dreamt of adventure already from the drawings we see in his room, but he could always just become an adventurer if he wanted to though of course we see that change with the Hero's Shade, I'll come back to that, Wind? Was content living in Outset with Aryll before Ganon decided to fuck around and found out really hard, Legend was also a blacksmiths apprentice and adventurer and he only takes up knight training in the manga because Sir Raven inspired him, like even if he didn't want to be a knight the training would still serve him well (and lo and behold the advice pays off given all the shenanigans mostly caused by divine beings Legend gets saddled with), Hyrule obviously leaves in a very hostile world so he wouldn't even have ANY time to think about knight training, he's self taught because he'd literally die if he wasn't given monsters need his blood to ressurect Ganon so it's honestly a unique case of technically self defense, either he learned to hunt or he'd remain hunted, Twilight is the same case as Wind's, Ganondorf fucked around and found out with the wrong older sibling's people plus the protagonists heavily implied love interest(s) and got shafted into next week, him and Dusk don't have a personal connection besides Midna for him to stick around much and we see him go back to Ordon, so no knighthood there, so why was Warriors different? What motivated him?

I think Linkle being his younger sister would have been the answer.

Long post ahead, continue under your own risk

I know lots of people characterize Warriors as being of a noble line and joined the knights at the urging of his father, but let's not forget most Links are orphans so thinking Wars is an exception is a pipe dream. So that's out, however, in medieval times knights actually get plenty of benefits since they work mostly for lords, ladies and the local crown, being a knight is synonymous with being a noble or at least having a decent life at the cost of serving someone else and the Hyrulean knights don't really have any requisites before joining (though we do see long lines of knights exist, which some Links are descended from without their knowledge, so it's not farfetched to think that a good chunk of the knights of Hyrule qualify as members of noble houses loyal to the Hyrulean crown, would also explain their why they're ineffective a lot of the time too, if most of them grew noble and Hyrulean isn't war seeking {most of the time} then they wouldn't have any real experience), it would be a good way for Warriors to support himself as he climbs up the ranks, and most importantly, someone else, because he'd need to make that money to feed Linkle if she's his younger sister because most Links who take on elder sibling roles are at their best when trying to protect their younger siblings (Wind with Aryll, Twilight with Collin, to an extent Legend and Gulley, all Links are at their best when fighting/protecting someone else), Linkle could grown up without restrictions and he could support them both, making them work harder than other knights because he's already at a disadvantage.

Making it so he's in the perfect place at the right time to get noticed by Artemis before the War of Ages, and give him a reason to go against orders and fight rather than standby like other traineés, being discovered as the Hero in the process.

And as a result since Mask is in the war too, he gets inspired by Warriors (who as an older brother would definitely just snatch him, Wind, Tetra and heck even the Skull Kid under his wing because no way is he letting children younger than even his own little sister fight alone) and eventually becomes a knight too after presumably stopping his search for Navi or using his knight status to search more effectively, which gives us the Time we see in LU who eventually become the Hero's Shade, which trains Twilight. Because he looked up to Warriors while younger.

I just think it's a huge missed opportunity with a lot of room for angst/hurt comfort/drama, and also opportunities for Warriors, Legend and Wild to bond over not really liking the knights because they've all not likely been treated well by his fellow knights while young even though he himself is one, and that Warriors would absolutely be one of the first to throw hands if he heard another soldier talk badly about any of the Links, in this essay I will-

[comergpure5]

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[incorrectquotesideas-deactivated]

Person A: I know how this works and you’re not the one who talks, you’re just a party planner. One of you is supposed to have the guts to speak up instead of hiding behind this chick. One of you has to have the balls to say something to me. Do you? Any of you?

Everyone: …

Person A: Okay. Great intervention. I have been intervened upon. I will see you tomorrow.