#a conflict that was solved at the end of sophomore year....

[norvtown]

ppl are already being so intense and weird abt kristen i hate it!!!! ofc shes gonna have a weird complicated relationship with her deity and faith in general i rlly dont think its as simple as her 'not deserving' cassandra like?? its the first episode give it some time jfc...

[fantomcomics]

What’s Out This Week? 11/23

The past few years have been hard on everyone, so if we’re thankful for anything, it’s YOU, Fantomites! 

Ancient Enemies #1 (of 6) - Dan DiDio & Danilo Beyruth

Earth becomes the final battlefield for a centuries old war between two alien races.  But this final conflict becomes the unintentional breeding ground for a new generation of super powers, each with the ability to influence the outcome of the war.  Some super powers choose sides, while others struggle to maintain their independence with the hope of saving the Earth.  This series explodes with new characters and creations, written by former DC Publisher Dan DiDio, with design and art by the industry's newest rising star, Danio Beyruth.  As first issues, go, this one is not to be missed!

Fear Of A Red Planet #1 - Mark Sable, Andrea Olimpieri & Paul Azaceta

Mars.  Fifty years from now, humanity's first Martian colony is no longer self-sustaining. Under the thumb of its corporate mining overlords, the surviving colonists slave away just to pay for resupply rockets from Earth, will little or no hope of returning home.

One woman has kept a fragile peace: the U.N.'s first and only interplanetary marshal.  A lawwoman escaping a violent past on Earth, she prides herself on never having fired a shot on Mars. But when she's tasked with solving the murder of the colony's most hated man, her investigation threatens to tear the red planet apart.    

Frank Miller’s Ronin: Book II #1 (of 6) -  Frank Miller

Frank Miller returns to one of his most critically praised and influential body of works, RONIN.  Theis six-part mini-series follows the original work and takes Casey and her new born son across the ravaged landscape of America.  With layouts by Miller, the beautiful panoramic art by Philip Tan and Daniel Henriques captures all the energy and excitement of the original series, taking the characters and world into a direction all its own.  Not to be missed!

Kemono Jihen GN Vol 1 -  Sho Aimoto

Inugami is a Tokyo detective who specializes in the occult. One day, answering a call to a remote village leads him to Dorotabo: a peculiar boy nicknamed after a yokai that haunts muddy rice paddies. The boy has no parents and is somewhat unnerving, emitting a foul odor that draws the ire of those around him. Inugami, however, quickly realizes that there's something more monstrous about Dorotabo than just his nickname, a fact proven when the two of them investigate an inhuman creature attacking local livestock. Perhaps Inugami can take this mistreated boy under his wing and train him to face the secret, supernatural beasts hidden in the world... using the eerie powers of his own body.

Men I Trust HC - Tommi Parrish

Tommi Parrish's sophomore graphic novel establishes them as one of the most exciting voices in contemporary literature. Eliza is a thirtysomething struggling single mother and poet. Sasha, a twentysomething yearning for direction in life, just moved back in with her parents and dabbles as a sex worker. The two strike up an unlikely friendship that, as it veers toward something more, becomes a deeply resonant exploration of how far people are willing to go to find intimacy in a society that is increasingly closed off. In Sasha and Eliza, Parrish has created two of the most fully realized characters in recent contemporary fiction. Parrish's gorgeously painted pages showcase a graceful understanding of body language and ear for dialogue, brilliantly using the medium of comics to depict the dissonance between the characters' interior and exterior experiences. Men I Trust is about not-always-healthy people attempting to make healthy connections in a disconnected world, and is one of the most moving and insightful works of literary fiction in any medium this year.

Once Upon A Time At The End Of The World #1 -  Jason Aaron, Alexandre Tefenkgi & Mike Del Mundo

In this epic post-apocalyptic tale, Maceo and Mezzy have never met anyone like each other, and they'll need all the help they can get to survive a planet ravaged by environmental catastrophe. This epic trilogy-each issue overflowing with 30 story pages-spans a lifetime as philosophical differences tear at the threads holding Maceo and Mezzy together. Will they, and the earth beneath their feet, ultimately be torn apart? New York Times bestselling, Eisner and Harvey Award-winning, and Marvel flagship writer Jason Aaron (Thor, The Avengers, Southern Bastards) launches his most ambitious creator-owned series to date with the first of three unique artistic partners - Eisner-winning artist Alexandre Tefenkgi (The Good Asian) - to take on a vision of the end of the world that's brutal and nostalgic, whimsical and grounded... and ultimately, timeless.

Sirius GN -  Ana C. Sanchez

Dani's bright future as an elite tennis player comes to a sudden stop when, during a match, she has a heart attack. Her newly discovered condition affects not only her health, but also her relationship with her mother, as well as her career. Wanting to get away from everything, she leaves behind the big city ?- and all her problems ?-  and goes with her cousin to a little coastal village. There she meets Blanca, a girl full of life and in love with astronomy. Blanca reminds Dani that life can be beautiful, and that she can shine again like stars do.

Steam Reverie In Amber - Kuroimori

A full-color steampunk artbook & manga collection hardcover-includes all 22 Major Arcana as removable tarot cards! In a world wedged somewhere between past and future, an airship drifts gently among pillow-soft clouds. This is the Tomeship-purveyor of used books and fresh coffee across the skies. It can only be seen by those who bear the Gearform Scar on their hearts. Are you one such soul? Don't miss this beautiful release from an award-winning Japanese artist who contributed to Final Fantasy art.

Wild! Or So I Was Born To Be GN Vol 1 -  Cristian Castelo

At Westhoff High, pain is part of the curriculum... But so is math, science, and chemistry. However, Wild Rodriguez and her pint-size companions have always had one goal and one goal only as they enter freshman year: to join the the Rocket Rollers and test their mettle in the infamously violent roller derby league. Now, summer draws to an end and tryouts are here! Do they have what it takes to climb the ranks of the derby world, or will their dream just as quickly turn into a nightmare? Wild discovers that sometimes dreams involve a lot of getting kicked in the face, as well as maybe accidentally getting involved in a blood feud or two. Half roller derby, half professional wrestling, the league is filled with cussin', spittin' roughnecks like the Cult Catastrophe, earnest athletes the 8-Ball Bruisers, sick freaks Puppy & the Pound, and the elegant-but-deadly Matadors. Becoming a true legend of the derby track like her hero (and occasional helpful psychic avatar) Rosie Rozene involves a lot of physical and emotional fortitude, luckily Wild and all her friends-imaginary or otherwise-have each other's backs no matter what! 

You Like Me, Not My Daughter? GN Vol 1 - Kouta Nozomi, Tesshin Azuma & Giuniu

A beautiful mother, a pining tutor, and romantic hijinks await in this hot mom romcom! When Ayako's sister died, leaving her young daughter all alone, Ayako stepped up and took the child into her life. Now that her niece/adopted daughter is a teenager, a 30-something Ayako can sense first love in the air. Ayako teases her daughter about Takumi, their handsome and college-aged neighbor, who's been tutoring her since she was young-could they be a blossoming couple, since he's always beaming when he comes to their house? To Ayako's surprise, Takumi isn't interested in daughter dearest: he's long had a crush on Ayako herself! In this age gap romantic comedy, one young man is ready to bring a little sugar to the sexy mom next door.

Whatcha scooping up this week, Fantomites?

[astrangerthatcares]

Hey Stranger.

Firstly, I wanna say I appreciate you doing this. I found your blog through the self harm tips post. Though I don’t personally SH, I have people who do and I got to send it to one of them. You’ve already helped people, and I know you’re bound to help countless others.

I apologize if this post is jumbled, or if this a seemingly small problem, but I need a fresh perspective here. This is going to be a long post because it requires a lot of context.

I am a high schooler going into junior year. Early on in freshman year, I met a dear friend that we will call Cyan for now. Cyan and I hit it off instantly, and we very clearly had feelings for each other. We eventually discussed it. Cyan revealed to me that they were trans ( fem to masc, haven’t started physical transition yet ). As I am straight, this was a bit of dealbreaker for me. I am still very close with him, and I support him in everything. He is one of my best friends.

Near the end of the year, I met and hit it off with a different girl who I’ll call Lime. We got together far too quickly ( about three days of knowing each other ) and the relationship quickly fell apart over summer.

I took almost all of sophomore year off of dating because of this. Not wanting a repeat of the incident, when I became interested in someone, I took more time to know them. This saved me a good few shitty relationships. Around the time of prom, I met a girl I’ll call Maroon. Due to some mutual needs, we talked a bit, and after about a month of being friends got together.

I am currently dating Maroon, it has been my longest relationship so far.

The problem is, I don’t know if I’m happy in this relationship: nor if we are the right people for each other. We have incredibly conflicting schedules ( she’s an early bird, I’m a night owl. ) When we text, it’s dull and formulaic. Sometimes we go for a good while saying barley anything except for “ good morning “

The biggest issue, however, is that we do not share any of our problems with each other. She lives in a somewhat abusive household, and acts like events of physical abuse are “ just another silly moment “ in her house. I believe her parents read her texts, and due to our schedule conflict, I also find it hard to be open with her about problems. This is a noticeable problem for me, as I believe openness is an incredibly important part of relationships. Finally, she isint the biggest supporter. I write, and reading the stuff I write means a lot to me. It’s not some expectation of “ you have to like my stuff “ and all that shit, it’s moreso I wish she would read a chapter or two, or even ask about it ever. I try to bring it up, but she shows no interest in it.

I also think about Cyan a lot, but not him exactly. Moreso, I put the idea of the perfect person onto him. It hurts me a lot, and I feel like I’m betraying Maroon every time I have one of these thoughts. And I feel bad about holding down do that attraction towards Cyan. Sometimes I wish it would just go back to before I knew, and that some idealized version of a person would pop into my life.

It’s been eating away at me. I don’t want to be like Lime, and try to break it off for reasons that are probably fixable. That hurt me badly, and I only recently fully processed that. I was very petty toward her behind her back, an act which I regret and have tried in some ways to amend.

I’m sorry, I know that was a lot, and it’s incredibly jumbled. All I ask is, what do you think I should do here? I need a perspective from someone who doesn’t know me, and you are willing to listen ( which I greatly appreciate. )

If you see this, thank you

- A stranger with a conflicted heart

Hi!

First of all, thanks for the first paragraph, I'm happy people do like this and find it useful.

Now, with your problem. Every problem needs to be solved and I am glad you decided to ask me. I understand your situation a little bit because I have been in some similar problems. A very important thing to do in your situation is understand the different types of attraction. To make it shorter, I'll just put the two important ones for this story- platonic and romantic. With what I know it seems like you could be romantically attracted to both Maroon and Cyan. But remember, I'm not you, you are the only one that can decide how you difference and feel romantic and platonic attraction.

For the communication problem, I have a few ideas. As a person who grew up in an abusive household, it can be hard to realize the problem. It might not apply to Maroon, but until I was 14 I didn't realize getting hit by your parents and emotionally abused wasn't normal. And even now-a-days, I don't talk about it. Not with the people I know in person, at least. To me, it's like something I mustn't talk about. For some people who have been abused by their parents or other family members, it's hard to recognice the abuse. It can take years to understand that having your parents yelling at you that "You're just f*cking stupid and a useless waste of money" is abuse. Try to get more informated and be soft and understanding but don't take it personal if she refuses to talk. Honestly, my partner just knows I was hit but my parents but we never talk about it. Maybe, someday, Maroon decides to tell you. But you can also send her some text along the lines of- "I'm here for everything" and tell her what you think about openness being needed. If she knows, you might be able to communicate more.

After all, it's up to you. I hope this helped, and if you can and want to, send me some kind of update to know how it's going and what you did.

-Stranger

[shelby-bach-books]

9/11: History-in-the-Making, a budding writer’s perspective

To the left is the journal I kept in Fall of 2001. Yes, I decorated it myself. I was freshly fifteen and very creative.

To the right is the entry I wrote after the Twin Towers fell in New York. Spoiler alert: my opinions then weren’t groundbreaking, but you can see I was too shaken to remember what the date was. 

At the time, I knew that I wasn’t doing it justice, the same way I knew that I was watching history unfold on my screen. In this entry, I sounded like what I was: a scared teenager, reckoning with the beginning of a big grief. 

I’m telling you this, because if you are a young person, you too may be sitting at the edge of emotions you don’t yet have words for. That’s okay. 

Some days, history-in-the-making is not for writing about. Some days, history-in-the-making is for feeling into. 

I’ll explain what I mean: 

On 9/12/2001, I walked into my algebra classroom, still cracked open from the day before. I threw my backpack on the floor and myself in my desk, and then I overheard one of my classmates in the back row say, “We should just nuke them all.” 

There is no reason why I should remember this—except for the silent event that took place next. 

A tide of grief swept in and cleared out everything else I had been worrying about, and my thoughts crystallized. 

I immediately understood a couple things: 

- My country was going to go to war, because the feelings of a sophomore boy weren’t too much different from the feelings of a politician (even if the latter dressed up their words into strategies). 

- There was no army to fight, so this war would be messy. 

- Those who would be hurt the most would be the regular Afghani people, villagers just trying to live their lives, who had nothing to do with hijacked planes, who were just as afraid of armed zealots as I was. 

Then I realized something else: No wonder the environment is in so much trouble. Humans don’t even value other humans, much less other kinds of life.

This may sound extraordinarily depressing. but buried under these thoughts was a deeper belief:

If a problem is created by humans, it can be solved by humans. 

And with all the optimism of an idealistic fifteen-year-old, I believed that even this was a solvable problem.

The fall of my senior year, I wrote a novel for fun. It was a Romeo-and-Juliet-style fantasy romance between two kids from factions that had been warring for millennia. It was driven by the central question: how does an ancient war get started? What would it take to end it? 

That spring, I also took an elective course from my AP US History teacher called “War and Peach.” I titled one of my essays, “Choosing your battles,” and I reread it yesterday.

Here’s the conclusion of that essay:

“War is…a distraction from the conflict that we only notice during peacetime, the only worthwhile conflict: ourselves. Right and wrong are not external forces; they are internal forces. 

“We fight invisible foes (individualism and unity; selfishness and generosity; evil and good) that churn our insides and boil our own blood without spilling it. We are—in fact—our own battlefields, the only ones we need.”

Since I thought I knew everything at seventeen, my tone in the essay is judgmental, as if the problem only existed outside myself. College would later teach me that I was ignoring my own internal battlefields. (FYI, the teachers on this weren’t my classes or my professors, but the problems I created for myself when I first lived away from home.

But I still believe a version of that conclusion. Slightly revised and expanded to include other forms of conflict, it was become one of the guiding beliefs of the past decade and a half of my life. 

For example, the Ever Afters—the series I started at 23—was born from it.

In those books, the main heroine and main villain are markedly similar, but the heroine has an inner journey she values as much as her exterior battles. The villain, on the other hand, never paid much attention to her interior battlefield, instead just attacking in as many ways as possible as if survival depended on it. 

Writing some novels is obviously not a complete solution to war and/or humans not valuing life. But these books have helped people—young readers have written to tell me so.

So, if you are feeling deeply today, remember you can always do something, even if you aren’t able to solve the events playing out on your screen right now, even if it takes longer than you expect to know what to do. Long-standing problems require long-range problem-solving as much as immediate action.

Notice what bothers you the most in what you’re seeing, and resolve to be part of the change. 

One person trying to help doesn’t always make a dent in the problems of a globe.

But change can come from a globe of individuals each taking on a piece of the puzzle, each helping in their own way, chipping away at a problem together until something better is left in its place. 

{Originally posted it last year on Instagram, but I wanted to post it here too.}

[anarchy-axe]

Recently decided Sapnap is superior in the D Team—and in all other forms of Minecraft Media, so now I must regale you a couple of my Sapnap centric AU ideas because AO3 disappoints me

All of these inspired by or based on everyone’s DSMP character, FYI

1) Battle of the Skatepark AU

Sapnap POV

Sapnap along with Tommy, Techno, Callahan, Drista, Purpled and Jack are all skaters who frequent this slapped together “skatepark” hidden in an partially demolished building

Everyone is in the junior — senior range age wise; some go to the same highschool, others don’t.

Punz, Sam, Ponk, Foolish, Ant, Hannah, and Velvet (ik he’s not Dsmp, let it happen) are all parkour kids; they go around the city to find new places to practice their parkour skills

They (the parkour kids) are all obsessed with Extreme Tag and definitely play their own version of it

The two groups end up on the demolition arena and decide that they Cannot Share and Must Battle It Out

Dream is technically a skater boy but he’s too busy flirting with the cute pizza delivery boy

Purpled could be with either group but he’s tired of people comparing him and Punz and hangs with Sapnap on purpose

Ponk and Sam used to be that gross couple that tattooed each other’s names on themselves (Ponk’s was on their arm) and after their messy “will-they-won’t-they” breakup Ponk got her tattoo removed—xer overtly flirts with Foolish now—completely unaware that Foolish and Sam have started secretly going out and are trying to bring Ponk into their relationship [im pushing my Foolsamponk agenda]

At one point after the conflict is solved—somehow—everyone goes to get pizza and all seems good…until someone mentions preferring Dominos over Pizza Hut. The battle begins once more

2) Karlnapity Fear Street AU

Based pretty solidly on the happenings of the movie trilogy

Karl’s family moved into Sunnyvale around sophomore year (currently in junior year)—or that’s what he says

Quackity was born and raised Shadyside, doing what he can to support him and his cousin

Sapnap and his sibling Punz are passing through the two towns for the break, drawn my Shadyside’s reputation and a potential for chaos

Sapnap runs into Karl at a Sunnyvale gas station and they have a friendly conversation. Sapnap asks about his opinion on the crimes in the two towns. Karl gets anstry, shuts him down, and flees. 

The siblings head on over to Shadyside, where they sneak into a library and begin to pour over anything related to the Shadeside killers. Punz has their heart set on capturing a killer on film, maybe stopping one themself; Sapnap is more curious about the weird circumstances surrounding the killers, he’s intrigued by the supernatural aspect. Sapnap mulls over the Sunnyvaler’s weird reaction at the gas station; but is distracted by Punz pointing out how superficial all the reports are. They come up with a plan to spy on/interview the townspeople and figure out whets really been happening, Punz camping in Sunnyvale and Sapnap in Shadyside. 

From there it follows Sapnap snooping around with anyone who was mentioned in the papers or who seems suspicious or important, along the way meeting Quackity and several Shadysiders

Shit gets real

[harringtown]

doves and ravens fly the same

y’all KNOW I fuck so hard with Steve becoming sheriff in the future so this. is mY SHIT RIGHT HERE. this is a one-shot for now but if anyone has ideas….id love to turn it into a series of one-shots because I am a w h o r e for sheriff sidekick Steve!!!!

requested by anonymous

Summary: Steve helps the reader when Will Byers goes missing (aka sheriff sidekick steve, paternal hopper, and some light canon tinkering)

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: none

-

“You know if Hopper catches you in here again, he’ll kick your ass to next Tuesday.”

Steve looks up from the files he has spread open across the table in the briefing room, the entire table covered in maps and witness accounts and scene photos. The concentration twisting his features settles out into a lopsided grin as he leans his forearms against the tabletop and leans forward.

“Good thing you’re not telling him,” he says.

“I could get canned just for letting you in here,” you say. “Letting you help is like, a whole new level of illegal.”

Steve frowns. “Come on. You gonna kick me to the curb after how many years of investigating?”

“It wasn’t investigating.” You lean back in the chair across the table, folding your arms. Hopper is out with the other deputy sheriff’s and the search parties, leaving you and Flo to man the station. Flo disappeared out back for a smoke break half an hour ago, and with so many conflicting tips and nothing but dead ends, you called in Steve in the hopes of utilizing his natural eye for the subject. “We were eight, and trying to figure out who stepped on the snail in your driveway.”

Steve’s grin widens.

“And we solved that case, didn’t we? Damned Miss Pazowski.”

You roll your eyes and nod to the covered tabletop.

“This,” you say, “isn’t us playing outside anymore. There’s a kid missing, Steve. Will is missing. And if we don’t find him…”

Steve’s expression softens and he reaches across the table, hand settling atop yours. Despite being a year junior to your eighteen - bright-eyed and brand new to the force - he manages to keep his head, sending strength through his fingertips.

“We’re going to find him,” he says. You inhale slowly and nod. Steve sits back and drops his gaze to the files before lifting it back up to you, lips quirking up in a goofy grin. “Now, try to be serious, yeah? This isn’t snails anymore.”

You swat his hand, one side of your lips curling up briefly. “You’re an idiot, Steve Harrington.”

His grin widens.

“But a smart one.”

“I don’t think I said smart,” you say. “I said observant one time, and now you won’t leave me alone.”

“Don’t worry. I put the pieces together.” He winks. “Besides. You’re not getting rid of me that easy.”

“Oh, joy.”

“Thirteen years of friendship going strong.”

“If you get me fired, it might throw a wrench in things.”

“If we find the kid, it’ll make us heroes.”

“Good to know you’re in it for the fame.”

He snorts, folding his arms across his chest.

“I’m here for the graduation credit,” he says. “And the life experience. And-”

“Because I’m your only friend these days, and you’re bored?”

He pouts, and protests, “You’re not my only friend. You’re my only decent friend.”

“Maybe you should stop hanging out with those assholes, then.”

Steve frowns, his cocky confidence faltering. Since you graduated a year ago, a sophomore Steve Harrington moved into his junior year and rose to the top of the food chain, where he carefully holds a fragile title. He’s still in it, still beneath the water, but you can see past the surface now that you’re out; you can see how meaningless his attempts at power are in a high school hallway. But that’s a lesson everyone has to learn for themselves.

His frown deepens, focus sharpening his gaze as he tugs a photograph from the scene of Will Byers’ disappearance. You’re grateful not to have to force a subject change, and Steve has forgotten, lifting the photo of Will’s deserted bike and tapping it with a finger.

“Hopper said it was weird that he’d just ditch his bike there, right?” He asks, that familiar brightness filling his eyes as he dives into the case.

If he weren’t so damn good at the stuff, you wouldn’t let him near the sheriff’s office, not even just because he’s your best friend. Hopper isn’t known to be patient, or forgiving; he’s a shoot first, ask questions later, kind of guy.

“Yeah?”

“So, if he ditches his bike, where is he going?”

“I don’t know.” You frown. “If someone was chasing him, or he saw something, I guess he’s just running…away?”

Steve shakes his head, lips curling up ever so slightly.

“Yeah, but….picture it. You’re thirteen, scared shitless, half a mile from home, in woods you’ve been playing in since you were five. Where are you running?”

Your eyes widen as realization dawns. “Home. He went home.”

Steve nods excitedly, gesturing to the covered table.

“Hopper and the search parties are scanning the woods, but no kid is running deeper into them, especially not at night. If he went anywhere, it was back to his house. That’s where the parties need to be searching.”

You push to your feet, shaking your head, and move around the table behind Steve, grabbing his head and ducking your chin to plant a kiss to the top of his head.

“You’re a goddamn genius, Steve Harrington,” you say. He grumbles in protest, wriggling out of his chair and out of your grasp, following you out into the front room.

“Flo!” Flo, heavily invested in her sudoku puzzle, lifts her head and gives you and Steve a curious look from beneath her pink-framed glasses, complete with strings hanging around her head and securing the glasses to her head. “Flo, I need you to call Hopper.”

“What on earth is the Harrington boy doing here? You know how Jim feels about strangers dilly-dallying.”

Steve pouts.

“Come on, Flo! I’ve been mowing your lawn for years, and now I’m a stranger?”

She gives him a withering look.

“Just because you’re mowing it, doesn’t mean you’re mowing it well.”

Steve scoffs and opens his mouth to reply, but you interrupt him.

“Flo. I’m not fucking around. Call Hopper, and get him back here, now. I’ve got a lead on the Byers kid.”

-

Jim Hopper stands in the briefing room across from you and Steve and pinches the bridge of his nose, eyes clamped shut for a moment before he looks at you.

“How many times do I have to kick you out of this place before it sticks?” He asks. He turns to you. “And how many times do I have to stick you on desk duty before you stop letting civilians into the precinct?”

“Come on, Hop-” You snap a glare at Steve, who takes the hint and shuts his mouth. Turning your focus back to Hopper, you grab the crime scene photo of Will’s bike and hold it up.

“I wouldn’t let him stay if he wasn’t good for it,” you say. “He found a lead.”

“A lead.” Hopper's face twists into his characteristic expression, scrunched brows and eyes closed to slits and lips pursed. “You’re telling me a high school kid and a deputy ten minutes off the assembly line found a lead, while the actual police have been out searching?”

“Yes,” you say. Hopper lets out a sigh, shaking his head. “I know Harrington is a….” Steve cocks a brow, and you crinkle your nose. “I get it. But he’s good at this stuff, Hop. Really good. Scary good.”

Hopper inspects Steve for a moment, and you can read his train of thought as it puffs down the track. He’s thinking of Steve’s father, of calls to their home under report of yelling and screaming, of his dad’s hard expression and Steve, powerless beneath his father’s cruelty. He’s thinking of all the ways that could go; all the ways Steve could go. He seems to land at the same place you have - that if he’s here, he’s not getting into trouble elsewhere - and sighs again, shaking his head.

“Fine. Fine.” He folds his arms across his chest and turns up his chin. “But don’t go getting any ideas. This is a one-time thing.”

Steve leans over and whispers, “So, we’re not mentioning the last seven cases I helped you solve, right?” You elbow him hard in the gut and he shuts up, leaning away and thankfully, keeping his mouth shut.

Hopper leans his palms against the tabletop, glancing at the papers and photos strewn across it, a day’s worth of investigation. He’s clearly impressed at the quantity, despite wanting to be angry at you for ignoring his orders and Steve for simply being there.

“What do you got?” Hopper asks. “And it better be good.”

-

When he finds evidence of Will Byers returning to his home after ditching his bike in the woods off Mirkwood, Hopper is torn between scolding the Harrington kid for sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong and giving him a badge for seeing something he and his deputies couldn’t. But, sure enough, just as Steve Harrington and Deputy Y/L/N said, Will Byers did indeed come home before he went…wherever he went. If Harrington can figure that out, Hopper will give the kid his damned job right there.

Despite figuring out Will was there, the night runs to a dead end, with nothing but a few footsteps, a knocked over box of shotgun bullets, and sticky goo in one corner to show for it. Hopper sends his other deputies home from the site, returning to the station to find half the lights dimmed and the building’s silence indicating it had gone to sleep with the rest of town.

He isn’t surprised when he passes you sprawled out across one of the couches in the main room - you sleep there half the time, just like him - but the presence of another sleeping person makes him pause.

Slumped over one of the desks, cheek pressed against the Byers kid’s file and drooling onto the manila folder, is Steve Harrington. He has one of Hopper’s jackets over his shoulders - presumably placed by Y/N before they crashed on the couch - and is sleeping peacefully despite his awkward, hunched position.

Something yawns open inside Hopper, a door long closed and barred to the world. He reaches absentmindedly for the blue band on his wrist, one of the two always adorning Sarah’s hair, and takes it between two fingers.

Steve Harrington is not his kid, is little more than a nuisance in the precinct and a hell-raiser at the school. But Hopper sees himself in the young boy, a determination he lost long ago and strong armor against the darkness in the world.

There’s no way he’s waking him up and sending him home. Not with his cold father waiting for him. Instead, he gathers two blankets from the back closet and drapes them across you both. He carefully pulls the Byers file from beneath Steve’s head, and the sleeping boy only sighs and plops his head down on the desk again.

Hopper doesn’t realize he’s smiling until he’s settled into the chair in his own office, head tipped back against the headrest, hands folded across his belly, his open door giving him a view of both of you, fast asleep. For the first time in a long time, he falls asleep without a frown on his face.

-

Steve Taglist: @allfandomxreader​ @kalie-bee​ @sourapplebaby​ @iiqtpiee @queenofthehairharrington​ @zacharycupcakedempsey​ @drcwse​ @whitecard62​ @captainelsaeverdeen​ @hairrington​ @lemonypink​ @ludicstilinski @harrington-ofhawkins​ @dezzylou24​ @mightstudysoon​

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 18

Brennan Lee Mulligan Fight Me IRL (subtitle: Is This Allowed?)

***A proclamation: Non-Adaine Abernants have no rights (and no consistent canon name spellings) so, henceforth, I will be spelling their names however the hell I want.***

Yeah I don’t have any preamble this week, let’s just do this.

We rejoin our table (which Ally is very noticeably absent from) with Fabian just having seen Kristen stabbed through by the skeletal unicorn. He runs out to get the rest of the Bad Kids but, when he comes back, there’s a mirror showing the room instead of a passageway into it. He shatters the mirror, which doesn’t help the situation at all. 

Fig takes advantage of the souped up illusion magic in the forest and uses Phantasmal Force on herself to create an illusion of a door that she can walk through. She, however, realizes that she’s not being taken into the same place that Kristen’s body was and gets out of there ASAP. Meanwhile, Gorgug takes down the wall and they’re able to get into the room. 

Once in the room, they find a human skeleton clutching shattered pieces of stone in its hands, which Adaine does the Identify Spell on--it’s St. Kristen Applebees, who’s been dead for 850 years (850 years ago is when the last Sylvan War happened, just FYI). Fabian can tell the room is very different than when he was in it last, like it’s been shut up with a dead body for 850 years. The skeleton is also weird. The posture and joints are wrong and it seems like it was decaying during life as well. Gorgug looks at the stone shards the skeleton is holding and sees that they’re broken pieces of an image of a face, but the freaky thing is it’s not all the same face. And the faces resemble their own. 

So, across the board, troubling stuff.

Adaine casts Locate Creature on the unicorn and senses that it’s moving into the forest (which is in conflict to where they see its hoofprints leading). Riz does an insight check and is convinced that this isn’t a situation that can be solved with logic. This is some straight Alice in Wonderland BS that can only be endured, not solved. There’s only one thing to do. Take a ton of drugs and go through their personal hells to save Kristen. The group, filled with trepidation and determination, agrees. Fig offers to cast Fear on everyone to make things easier. (She also takes her hair down because she is a rock star who understands when to do things for maximum drama). Adaine dismisses Boggy and gets rid of her Anxiety meds. Fabian gets rid of his fear-cancelling eyepatch. Fig and Adaine want everyone to be tied to each other but Riz thinks this is something they absolutely have to do alone and they reluctantly agree. Everyone comes together in the last moment before they put themselves through this ordeal. I believe in you. Spring Break.

Then Riz takes off, before they can even do the drugs. His biggest fear is not having a plan so it’s the best he can think to do to give in to fear. Riz tries to follow the unicorn, getting torn at by branches and briars as he goes, hands suddenly bleeding (as if digging through a palimpsest), and he stops when he finds a sliver of silver mirror. Let’s do some D20 math. Riz+Mirror. What does that equal? That’s right. We knew this was coming. It’s the return of Baron from the Baronees!

Baron appears and says that Riz made him up because he was scared. What was he scared of? Riz says he’s scared of being wrong and hurting his friends but Baron says that that’s not why he lied. He lied because of his anxiety over all of the rest of his friends getting into romantic relationships and leaving him behind. They don’t care about him. They only keep him around because he’s useful for mystery solving. Baron shows his images of his friends with their respective love interests and Riz, ever logical even when he’s trying not to be, sees Ragh with Fefethriel (he also has no rights so I’m not looking up how to spell that) who he knows Ragh doesn’t like and clings to that as a sign that this isn’t all real. Baron continues to twist the knife. Riz isn’t like his friends. He’s not like his parents. And he’s not a good detective because, if he was, he wouldn't let himself get so easily distracted. Riz finds he’s no longer in the forest. He’s trapped in a world of mirrors.

“OK,” says Brennan. “Let’s go down the line. What are all of you afraid of?”

“Oh Boy,” I say, knowing this is going to be a bitch both to watch and try to coherently recap. 

Their answers are as follows:

Gorgug: Impostor Syndrome and the fact that he’s already died once which calls into question the reality of everything after that.

Adaine: Failure and loss of control

Fig: Fig has a whole laundry list of fears. Gilear being dead, Ayda being dead and coming back as a baby, being a fraud that will wear out her welcome and be discarded, not being able to save her friends

Fabian: Helplessness and ending up as Yogurt Fabian

Everything starts to go to hell at once.

Gorgug’s crystal pings. It’s a message from Skrank saying that it’s dope that he and Zelda got back together and he’s happy Gorgug is being so cool about it. Gorgug just turns his crystal off but then, he’s hit with the realization that his life just doesn’t really add up. He’s a rockstar with a girlfriend who saved the world from a dragon with his friends? Come on. That’s a little far-fetched. And then, Bam! Adaine has to roll for a panic attack. For the first time ever, she fails on a 4 and begins to shut down. She fights the panic attack, even though she knows she needs to experience fear to get to the center of the forest and she’s able to...but finds herself outside of the briar wall, alone. She tries to Misty Step back in, but she can’t. She’s stuck.

At about the same time but a few seconds earlier as Fig is casting Fear, Fig is caught between her two main fears: being a fraud and not being able to save her friends. But Brennan, the evil genius, says that it occurs to Fig that the fact that she even had the thought of her self image while her friends were in danger means that her main concern is a shallow one and that she is a fraud. A cool, confident copy of Fig--the rockstar image she tries to project--splits from her body, tells the real Fig to stay down, and Fig is frozen to the ground. 

Fabian just straight disappears. Not from the room like Adaine. From history. All his friends forget about him and are unable to see him. The Bad Kids were always comprised of 5 Members. There is no war in Ba Sing Se.

The Illusion of Fig says she’s going to find Riz and Adaine and she poofs out, leaving Gorgug and Fabian alone in the room. But Gorgug can’t see Fabian. He doesn’t even remember Fabian exists. As far as he can tell, he’s been left alone. Abandoned. He tries to anchor himself with a bone he took from Kristen’s skeleton earlier and then heads off to try to find Riz.  Fabian tries to call out to Gorgug, or hold him back but Gorgug doesn’t hear him and he finds he can’t physically affect him in any way. Fabian decides to let him go. He just sits. With everyone gone (including Baby who left with Fig’s double), Fig is suddenly able to move again. She calls out to her friends and, hearing no response, goes towards the woods. 

OK, that was a lot and it just gets wilder from here. I’m going to try to present this as coherently as possible by splitting up what happens to everyone rather than intercutting the scenes like in the episode.

Gorgug

Gorgug travels until the forest becomes impassable. Then, he finds a tunnel under the roots of the tree that’s super tight. He can get through but just barely and he for sure can’t get out the way he came. It's littered with leaves and bugs and Gorgug is pretty claustrophobic. Still, he steels himself and starts dragging himself through. It’s scary as hell but he knows the fear is leading him in the right direction and with a 21 Acrobatics, he gets through. 

Once on the other side, he takes out the recording stone he made earlier and records himself saying, “It’s Gorgug. Keep going,” as a message for anyone who might come this way. The message Care Bear Stare reverberates through the forest and all of his friends feel a spot of encouragement that they’re doing the right thing.

But Gorgug finds himself in the worst room for a low Int party member to be in alone. He’s in a puzzle room with a dick of a Sphinx who says Gorgug has to solve this puzzle or the Sphinx will eat him. The Sphinx says he’ll help (which will lower the DC of solving the puzzle) but every time he helps, he’ll give Gorgug some true but hurtful information. He has unlimited tries but once he starts he can’t stop.

Gorgug tries and fails (just barely). He asks for help. The Sphinx then shows Gorgug a vision of himself as a baby with his younger parents and all of his aunts and uncles. Gorgug doesn’t really know his extended family. Turns out, that’s because they were all hella racist about Gorgug being adopted so Digby and Wilma cut them all out of their lives. He created a rift in the family. He tries two more times. Both failures. The Sphinx begins to prowl and stalk him.

Gorgug realizes that the scariest thing to him is to admit that he’s too stupid to figure this out and he says, “I’m a dumbass. Eat me you stupid bug.”

The puzzle spontaneously solves itself. The sphinx leaps at Gorgug but vanishes into bugs before it can reach. The door opens and he can walk through. 

Riz

Riz takes comfort in the images of his friends around him (even though they’re all of awkward romantic moments) and says that no matter what Baron is saying, he knows his friends care about him. Kristen could have cured herself, but she cured him. They may call him The Ball, but now he’s friends with the bully who made up that nickname. He might not be super close with Penny who he worked so hard to save, but that’s OK because they just run in different circles. He feels secure with his role as Little Shrimp of the Bad Kids. 

The mirrors shatter. Baron vanishes. Care Bear Stare.

Riz sees tracks of the unicorn going off in another direction and he feels very confident that he can follow them and find it. He also sees a really cozy bed. 

“Is my greatest fear sleeping on the job?” he says. “I’m so lame.”

Still, he bravely gets in snuggles down (to the outrage of Lou, who we’ll get to next actually).

Fabian

Fabian gets up after feeling the spark of hope from Gorgug and starts moving deeper into the forest. Unfortunately, his friends may have forgotten about him but you know who hasn’t? Chungle-Down Bim who is in the forest, feral, and still chomping at the bit to shit in Fabian’s mouth. Fabian runs like hell into a cave to hide where he is met with his other worst nightmare, the SEXY RAT FROM FRESHMAN YEAR--now human sized--who gives away his hiding place.

After running for a bit longer, he takes a deep breath, lays down and--for the good of the party--decides to subject himself to what the forest has decided are his two worst fears apart from being forgotten: having his mouth shit in by Chungle-Down Bim and being fucked by a sexy rat. 

Insane but Bam. Care Bear Stare. 

The ground opens up and swallows him. He’s falling in darkness, just like in his nightmare from episode 1 (which I finally looked up, just in time it turns out). He hears Cathilda’s voice: If he’s his own new man, then will he be extraordinary? Will he write his name on the face of the Earth? Fabian senses a trap but he answers. He doesn’t know what he’ll be but he likes the direction he’s going. He doesn’t care where he ends up, because he likes where he is. And he doesn’t care if he writes his name on the face of the Earth because he’ll be with the bad kids. 

Gorgug, in the room that the door opens up to, suddenly sees something crash through the ceiling and Fabian--who he now remembers--is in the room with him. Fabian hugs him immediately--something he’s never done before.

And, for the trouble of that ordeal, Brennan lets them reroll their lowest ability scores with 4d6 (unless it’s lower than what they already have or higher than they want it for story reasons). 

Fig

On Fig’s way out of the temple, she sees a placid pool of water which has a carving of an eye being pried open above it. She can tell the pool is magical and she dips her feet into it, being consciously reckless. The pool is body temperature, which is unsettling, and it asks her whose dreams she wants to see. 

She first tries Aelwyn but gets nothing because elves are weird to scry on dream-wise since they trance. Then, she tries Kristen and sees the image of a huge woman (like mountain huge) clutching her scalp and screaming as a storm rages around her, striking her with lightning and destroying her in some crazy act of magic. Yikes. She scoops up some pool water to take with her. 

She tries to scry on Ayda, sees the same place Adaine saw when she did it earlier, and tries to Dimension Door there. It doesn’t work and she just ends up in some random place in the woods, hopelessly lost. As she walks, she comes across an elven village covered in spiderwebs and cocoons. Fig finds a griffon feather and then sees an old woman who is only partially cocooned. She wakes her up and asks what’s going on. Does she need help? Yeah, she could use help getting home. Fig asks where she lives. That’s easy. 22 Hilda Street; 22 Hilda Boulevard BAYBEE! 

Hilda-Hilda and her MASSIVE dog start to attack Fig (who was EXPLICITLY WARNED THIS MIGHT HAPPEN and told this insane lie anyway) and she books it out of there. As she runs, she is frozen and magically bound again. Her double walks out of the forest to taunt her some more. She asks what will happen once her rock star persona wears off and Ayda sees the real her?

“I hope that she finds something I didn’t know was there.”

Boom. Care Bear Stare.  

But Fig isn’t free. In fact, the bindings on her turn to marionette strings and she finds herself being dragged behind her double. Fig tries to make some illusion scissors to cut herself free but it doesn’t work. She’s reminded of the dream she had in the first episode of having fame and power and wanting a crown and any confidence she has leaves her as she remembers the times she’s been possessed in the past. Her double asks her why she wanted a crown so badly and Fig says it wasn’t her. It was whoever mind controlled her. Isn’t there a part of her that wants a crown though? Fig says what she’s interested in isn’t the crown. It's being able to control her self-image. Her double tightens her puppet strings which is heart clenching but Fig knows that means she’s going the right way.

They end up walking past the place where Ayda is and Fig yells at her double to help her--she may be a twisted version of her but she’s still a part of her so she should still have a crush on Ayda. The scrying water Fig took heats up and turns to steam and, within the steam, she can see what Ayda is experiencing: Previous incarnations of herself, screaming at her to do better and be better. She sees that, in Ayda’s memories, she spent a lot of time being confused and feeling inadequate and Fig was one of the first people to be patient with her and explain things to her. Ayda’s doubles taunt her and say there’s no rational world where someone as awesome as Fig (the real Fig, the Fig in Ayda’s memories is the real one, not the glamorous idealized one that has Fig hostage) would find a single redeemable quality in her. 

Ayda says, quietly to herself, that just because she hasn’t found any worthwhile qualities in herself, doesn’t mean someone as brilliant as Fig can’t.  

Fig suddenly finds herself somewhere far away, bound between trees right next to Riz who is still napping.

Brennan gives them the same offer to boost a score--Wisdom since they both got through their trials with Wisdom based solutions.   

Adaine

Adaine, also upon feeling the spark of hope from Gorgug, thinks that there has to be more going on than it seems so she takes off her jacket, leaves her orb, closes her eyes and starts walking. As she walks, it feels like days are passing. She doesn’t trip or fall but she takes slashing damage from the trees around her (still in the forest, regardless of how it appeared).

Eventually, she finds herself at the edge of a cliff that drops off into ocean. Ocean like the previous Oracle drowned in. Ocean like in the dream she saw herself drowning in at the start of the season. She sees someone standing near her but she doesn’t give them the time of day. She simply steps off into the open air and starts plummeting down. 

As she does, she sees that the figure--the same figure that was in the tent with her that she didn’t look at way back when--is of an older version of herself in a black mourning dress.

She starts drowning and she wants to try and solve the situation but, like Riz, she realizes that this isn’t something she can solve. She can only fight which she does, refusing to give up (which would be less scary). She suddenly finds herself not drowning in the ocean, but in an orb surrounded by people as Biz Glitterdew dressed like a Carnival Barker tells people to step right up and see the amazing Elven Oracle. She’s surrounded by people she doesn’t know how to help. She can’t even help herself. 

As she’s in the orb, she hears the voice of the future version of her from the cliff. She’s always been clever. She did everything right. This is her last chance to speak with her if she wants to. Adaine asks why she doesn’t have friends now. She’s hit with the reality she must know on some level already. She’s an elf. Her friends all have naturally shorter lifespans. Her future self has all these answers but the one thing she doesn’t know (much like Will in that one episode of Fresh Prince) is why she was so easily discarded by her parents. Are they unlovable? Our Adaine doesn’t know either. Maybe some things don’t have answers. Future Adaine asks if she ever wonders if the kindness from her friends is a reflection of their goodness and not her worthiness. God, yes, Every day. “But I know that my friends do love me so maybe there’s hope for us yet,” she says, voice heartbreakingly tremulous.       

Care Bear Stare.

Her double gives her a second and then says that as valid as that hope is, she needs to let it go, at least for now, to get to where she needs to get to. 

She lets it go. 

Adaine finds that she’s no longer in an orb filled with water. She’s in a prison orb in the heart of the forest surrounded by her family (hard air quotes around family). Her mom has summoned her. Aelwyn won’t look at her and is just staring at the floor, totally dejected. Anguin is there too, one eye busted and one arm in a sling. He’s PISSED. Arianwyn is still marked with curse wounds and Adaine doesn’t see the crown on her anywhere. She says it’s good to see Adaine, but Adaine’s not buying it. She Messages Aelwyn: Are you OK? What’s going on? Aelwyn says for once in her life, just do what their parents ask. Please. (She actually says please! Concerning!)

Arianwyn tells Adaine that all her friends are alive and nothing bad will happen to them. She’s not in any trouble. Adaine wants to know why she’d care if she was in trouble with her parents-in-name-only. “Self preservation?” Anguin suggests. Adaine says there’s nothing else they can do to her that’s worse than what they’ve already done so it’s kind of an empty threat. Anguin has something to say about that but his wife stops him and tells Adaine everything is nearly done. Promises were broken, they needed new allies, so they joined up with the Nightmare King. That’s not nearly enough information for Adaine. She wants to know why she’s there.

Arianwyn says that they need Adaine to just tell them what the Bad Kids have been planning so they can stop it and they’ll keep her friends alive. The Court of Stars said they would trade Aelwyn’s freedom for the Crown but, when she delivered it, they broke their promise. “So you bring back the NK?” Adaine asks, incredulously. The Abernants have always been important, Arianwyn says. She has no choice but to restore their tarnished name--the name tarnished partially by Adaine she points out.

Adaine wonders how they got to the center of the forest and faced all their fear while still being so craven. Aelwyn expresses surprise that Adaine didn’t just use a Duskmoss ritual the way they did. But she still made it, and Wiser than all of the rest of them. (Speaking of, here, Brennan gives her the same opportunity to boost her lowest score; hope she rolls 4 sixes and boosts her strength score). 

Tearfully, Arianwyn says that she doesn't know how to make Adaine believe in the family. To make her more like Aelwyn. Adaine says she's been so cruel and loveless to her her entire life. Why would she suddenly start believing in the family now? Arianwyn seems confused. She’s been very loving. And Adaine sees that she truly believes that. She had no self awareness at all.

Arianwyn continues to try and get Adaine on her side but Adaine rebuffs her, citing her earlier cruelty. “Love without expectation what is that?” Arianwyn says. “What is expectation without love?” Adaine counters, echoing her previous words. 

Arianwyn decides she doesn’t have time for this conversation and she doesn’t want to get upset in front of Adaine. She takes Killian (who is also there btw) and leaves. Once she’s gone, Anguin says that, when this is all over, he’s going to figure out a way to “fix” her permanently and his hands crackle threateningly with magic. 

We leave her there.

Riz wakes up and he and Fig make sure that the other is alright. Then, they hear the sound of hoofbeats and see the skeletal unicorn approach them. They sense a growing malevolence from the forest. 

Meanwhile, Fabian and Gorgug travel deeper into a tunnel off the room they both found themselves in and see that it leads to an endless ocean of mist from which huge islands of rock topped with forest jut out. They can sense that their friends are close.

“Spring break?” says Fabian.

“Spring break,” Says Gorgug. 

And that’s it for the session! 

Can’t wait for next episode to start with 30 minutes of Kristen being retroactively subjected to this same caliber of absolute nonsense just when I’ve recovered from this! 

 Detention

Arianwyn for Gothel-ing it Up

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You hate to see it. You truly hate to see it.

Was really hoping (based on some in-text evidence that I’ve previously discussed but also just wanting it really bad) that Arianwyn was gonna pull through and be not The Worst but it turns out she still mega sucks, just in a different direction than Anguin.  

I will say that we’re in the Nightmare forest of Lies so it’s possible we’re being lied to in some respect and I will glady eat my words if I have to later but, idk y’all, It felt pretty real to me.

Dishonorable mention to Anguin for threatening to mind-break Adaine which is horrific but we been knew he needs to get put down. 

Honor Roll

Gorgug for Sparking Hope

Gorgug is truly just the goodest boy. I really had no idea that him dropping that rock was going to do anything. In fact, I thought it was a dumb idea because nothing about the way things were set up made me think anyone else would come his way. It all seemed pretty individualized. 

Maybe that occurred to him. Maybe it didn’t.

But one thing that for sure occurred to him was that he wanted to help his friends in any way that he could so he tried and it worked and it helped. 

Gorgug really is the very best of what the Bad Kids stand for. Spot well earned. 

Random Thoughts

Brennan name dropped Kitty Pryde in this episode so I'm gonna give y'all a fun fact. I was a big fan of X-Men Evolution as a kid. In fact, it's still my fave piece of X-Men media to date (or, at worst, a veeery close second to the OG and TAS adaptation of the Phoenix saga). Anyway, Spyke in that cartoon at least once refers to Kitty as K-Girl and every time I call Kristen that, that's where I'm getting it from. 

Riz re: The Bardy Boys: As long as you investigate and and have a song in your heart you are a Bardy Boy. (If I was in charge of D20 merch, this would be the t-shirt for the ep for sure)

I gotta give major props to Brennan for how he ran this episode. I was so curious about how it would work and I had absolute faith in him of course--he’s never disappointed with individualized encounters--but he just knocked it out of the park. 

Kristen having all the revivify diamonds Concerns me, even though I guess she is the only one who could cast it I think (besides Tracker).

Siobhan: Keep crunching. Great practice for that die later. 

Ayda really stabbed me in the heart this episode. Brennan tried to murder me and Ayda was the weapon he used. The esteem that Ayda holds Fig in after such a short period of time is so sweet, as is how completely reciprocated it is. You know that “same hat, same hat!” Meme? That’s them, but also with their trauma. 

Interesting that, to Adaine, fighting and not giving up is the scariest thing but to Riz, going to sleep and not continuing is what’s scary. Especially since they’re so similar.

Of course, the bed could be going to sleep and being possessed but I don’t think he’s scared of that now that his money is gone. 

Some INSANE stuff happened re: Kristen this episode but it barely is even a footnote compared to everything else that happened. Isn’t that wild? Isn’t it wild that Kristen is apparently a Saint that has been dead for 850 years now and we’re not talking about that? Is this gonna be one of those weird time loop things where Kristen comes to find out that she’s actually been a part of this story the whole time?

Thank you Brennan for the emotional breaks of Fabian’s Loony Tunes antics and the return of Hilda-Hilda.

Anguin is still busted up from the fight with the Bad Kids which confused me until I remembered, oh yeah. Wizards don’t get heals. That’s why you diversify your party comp BI-YATCH.

I wonder what the true nature of the forest is. Most of the figures we saw in it were fully hostile but Adaine’s future self wasn’t. Just kinda sad. Of course, that is probably the better tactic to break Adaine since if something is openly hostile to her, she just tries to hit it.

What happened to Aelwyn since the last time we saw her? Clearly, all is not well. Intestinal distress aside, she was fine the last time she actually interacted with the Bad Kids and the last time we saw her via scry there was nothing obviously wrong with her. One thing that I noticed at the time but didn’t bring up because it wasn’t relevant then was that Brennan specifically said that she was wearing wood elf clothing while Arianwyn was wearing “Deep elf” clothing. In the art, you can see that she and Anguin are dressed more “nobly” and also that Aelwyn looks not only emotionally defeated but also physically roughed up and dirty. Why would they have her dress as a wood elf, who they clearly see as inferior? Is it pure cruelty? Part of whatever ritual they were doing?  I thought for a second it might be to pass her off as a wood elf for something in connection with the mystery goddess but they all look pretty freaking related. Nuathra was able to tell that Adaine was related to Arianwyn and Aelwyn pretty quickly. And, beyond what she looks like, when Adaine spoke to her via message and Aelweyn told her to not make waves, she said please. Aelwyn used the word please. That, to me, is a MAJOR red flag.

And what changed so drastically that it got Arianwyn and Anguin back on the same side? It didn’t seem like they were working together before and Aelwyn, who I don’t think had any reason to lie at the time, also said it point blank. 

@camwritery and I were wildly speculating about the Abernants, you know, as you do, and wouldn’t it be wild if the Abernants via prophecy or whatever knew they were going to have a child who would be the Elven Oracle and since elves tend to not have more than one kid (idk if it’s like that in FH but it’s like that in a lot of stuff with elves) they assumed that kid would be Aelwyn which is why she got all the attention and Adaine--a surprise baby in this scenario--got ignored until she was suddenly became relevant to their plans?

We were also talking about how Adaine has basically walked herself right into a worst case scenario by leaving her arcane focus and jacket somewhere in the woods (not to mention getting rid of her familiar and meds). She’s pretty defenseless, which means it would be a *fantastic* time for Aelwyn to grow a spine and do her sister a solid. Like, presumably her friends will be to her soon enough but come on girl! The path to your redemption is right there, just stick the landing! My best case scenario: Anguin tries and fails to do a Detect Thoughts on Adaine to get the information she refuses to give him. He orders Aelwyn to do it. Adaine purposefully fails her save, shows Aelwyn everything she wanted to show her before, and boom. We’re in business. 

Last excerpt from that conversation: In the new art, the Abernant’s names are spelled Aelwyn, Angwyn, and Arianwen. First of all that’s nonsense and, as I said earlier, they get no rights. But, assuming that’s correct, interesting that all of their names have the same ending but Aelwyn got her dad’s spelling and not her mom’s. 

Why does Arianwyn care so much about the family name? Assuming elves do it like humans (which is a bit of an assumption I’ll admit) it wouldn’t even be her name and line. This is A LOT for a family you married into.

Fig did three low-key things this episode I thought were very sweet. One, she worried about Adaine’s meds. My thought was that she had her jacket so she’d be fine but Fig thought ahead the extra step and was worried Adaine would be too panicked to think about that. Two, upon seeing Baby was with her doppelganger Fig’s main thought was, “Oh good. At least he’s alright.” Three, she begged her doppelganger to stop and help Ayda, trying to appeal to any shared feelings for Ayda, even though she was being straight savage to her. In conclusion, Fig is a huge sweetheart and a lot more forward thinking than her actions would often suggest.

Also, “No one wants to hear the bass play solo”?????? Was that off the top of your head Emily???????????When Zac clutched his chest? I felt that.  

Not mechanically important, but Fig’s archdevil pentagram is now an anarchy symbol instead. Rock on. 

“Are you afraid to know the truth of your life?”/“Now I am.”

I was SO worried we were gonna hear some bad information about Wilma and Digby but it just turns out that they loved Gorgug so much that they cut all the toxic family members out of their life? You love to see it. 

Did this episode give anyone else major Labyrinth vibes?

Gorgug calling the Sphinx, “Mr. Sphinx.” I love him so much.

I saw people talking later about Zelda maybe having cheated on Gorgug but, tbh, the thought that that was real never really crossed my mind. I just assumed it was phone trickery because haven’t we seen phone trickery before? On the other hand, Brennan’s Good Place-esque, “Come on. You’re a popular rockstar who killed a dragon with his friends last year? Does that sound real?” torture of Gorgug was exquisite. Not to mention asking Emily which thing Fig dreads more than turning it in on itself. You could see the “game recognizes game” look in her eyes as he did that. 

The moment the Hilda-Hilda sequence started I knew exactly where it was going and it was delicious. Brennan spinning it out, baiting Emily into asking her address, the reveal? *Chef’s Kiss*

Weirdly specific point but in this episode, Fig has water she collected from a magical source boil and burst the container. That’s actually the second time this has happened to Emily, the first time being during Unsleeping City with a flask of water from Em’s fountain.

"My friends were warmer to me when I first met them than you ever have been my whole life." Really can’t wait for Adaine to get to deck her parents. We’re all rooting for you girl.

Awards for shredding my heart this week go to Fig and Adaine. Special awards to Riz for hitting a little too close to home and Brennan for facilitating this torture. I feel like I should also get to reroll my lowest skill with 4d6 for experiencing that.

As an aside, hope everyone is doing OK what with all the craziness going on in the world right now. I’m sure you don’t need another person to tell you to wash your hands and stay inside if you can but I do want to say that distracting yourself is a perfectly valid response to a situation you can’t do anything else about. I’m gonna say, if you’re into theater, check out the Six soundtrack if you haven’t already. It’s a whole bop (with a side of some history). Anyway, stay safe y’all. 

This episode, Adaine and Riz each rolled one Nat 1, Gorgug rolled two with one being cancelled out, and no one rolled any Nat 20s because it’s Bad Kid suffering hours baybee.

[summersubin]

tutoring sessions

- yeonjun x taehyun

- 2.5k

- yeonjun doesn’t like that his new tutor is younger than him but he really can’t fail this class. besides, the sophomore is really pretty. he can’t stay mad at him for long. (cr: taejunaus on twitter for the prompt!!)

- a/n: i wrote this a while ago but didn’t get around to posting it here~ this is on my ao3 summersubin and i also posted it on my twitter hyukasnose!! please check out taejunaus on twitter, their aus are really good and i enjoy reading them a lot <3

~

TUTORING SESSIONS, read the pink flyer pinned to the announcement board in the school hallway. it fluttered with the breeze of students passing by in a hurry on the way to their next class. yeonjun, however, stood perfectly still, his school books in his arms, and stared at the innocent flyer with a conflicted expression on his face. his books lay heavy in his arms.

he never wanted to admit it to himself, but he needed a tutor. it wasn’t that he didn’t try hard, but the work in his classes just seemed to pile up so quickly on top of him that he was becoming worried he would never escape from underneath it. he felt the pressure of a million assignments weighing on his chest, and with all of his work to do, he was falling behind with learning the new material in his courses.

so, begrudgingly and with narrowed eyes, yeonjun reached out his hand, shuffling his school books into the crook of his other arm, and ripped one of the slips of paper with a phone number scrawled on it from the flyer. he slipped it in his pocket, and then decided to make his escape, hoping nobody had witnessed him. he turned, ducked his head, and walked quickly along with the other students, easily blending in with the crowd.

`

later, when school was over for the day, yeonjun pulled out his phone and the tiny slip of paper came with it. he almost dropped it by accident, its pink color catching his eye. he was on the bus now, and as he was sitting in his seat he placed his phone on one leg and the phone number on the other. he hesitated for a few moments, feeling like an idiot as the bus jostled him around in his seat, going over bumps in the road. finally, he rolled his eyes and picked up his phone in his hands, quickly typing up a text to the number listed from the flyer and sending it before he could talk himself out of it. he would call, but he was feeling far too self conscious already, and he didn’t need a whole bus of people listening in on his conversation.

yeonjun repeatedly glanced at his phone anxiously, and found a reply from the owner of the flyer coming through in a matter of seconds. so taehyun is his name, yeonjun thought after his new tutor introduced himself. he sounds nice enough. and he was nice, speaking to yeonjun in possibly a more formal tone than he expected, but he was fine with that, as long as it wasn’t overbearing when they were finally face to face.

they agreed to meet later that afternoon in a local cafe. bring some money if you want to. i always find coffee keeps me motivated to work, taehyun had said. the wifi is a bonus, too. yeonjun laughed at that. taehyun told him to bring his own supplies, which yeonjun was already pretty much expecting. it wasn’t like the flyer had specified exactly what kind of tutoring taehyun was offering, so he just assumed taehyun would be on board for whatever. it was funny, yeonjun thought, that he couldn’t seem to remember anybody by the name of taehyun in his class.

`

when yeonjun walked in the front door of the cafe, he was greeted by a warm gust of air that smelled of coffee and bread. he carried his schoolbooks against his chest, the weight feeling familiar in his arms. taehyun said he would be in one of the booths, so yeonjun didn’t worry too much about not being able to find him. he figured he would know him when he saw him. for a school night, the place seemed to be unusually busy. a low hum of voices filled the air and bounced off the well decorated walls, a gentle yellow glow from the lighting casting itself on the customers.

biology, he desperately needed help in biology. he could never seem to cram all the vocabulary into his brain and keep it there. it liked to ooze out like goo, and yeonjun wished he could pack it all together in there and secure it with duct tape. math, too. the formulas always ended up confusing him, and the second he thought he got it completely, he would move on to solve the next problem and find himself completely and utterly lost. he mulled over these things in his mind as he walked through the cafe, knowing he would probably have to explain them to taehyun if he wanted any help.

yeonjun was walking past the booths that sat just beside a giant wall of glass, passing each one booth by booth and wondering if he had arrived too early for their meet up. and then he stopped in his tracks. in front of him was a boy sitting in a booth only a few feet away from him. he was hunched over in his seat as he scrawled something into a little notebook on the table in front of him. the seat opposite of him was empty, yeonjun noted when he glanced at it. this is… taehyun? yeonjun thought, feet freezing into the ground.

his hair was caramel brown, not quite long enough to fall over his eyes but enough that it just brushed his eyebrows. the warm lighting complemented his honey tanned skin, and he held his pen between his fingers delicately as he wrote. he was in a cream colored shirt, and subtly something in the back of yeonjun’s mind flickered with the thought of how good it looked on him, how well he seemed to blend into the warm atmosphere of the cafe. the thing was, though, that by the looks of taehyun, he couldn’t have been any older than yeonjun. in fact, he had a younger look to him. upon thinking this, yeonjun had the realization that the reason why he couldn’t place taehyun in his mind earlier was because he wasn’t from his class. he was almost certainly a year younger, if not two, and this thought alone made yeonjun consider turning back and going home, pretending as if he had never arrived. being tutored by a sophomore… yeonjun thought, and nearly winced at the idea. he had gotten himself this far, but he didn’t know if he would be able to take another blow to his pride like that. however, just as yeonjun was raising his foot from the ground to turn around, the head of caramel hair in front of him suddenly raised up, and he was caught in the stare of big, round, captivating brown eyes.

taehyun gave him a once-over, taking in the sight of yeonjun’s schoolbooks and setting his pen down gently. he sat himself up in his seat, and then settled himself, closing his notebook shut.

“you’re here for the tutoring, right?” he asked, and yeonjun felt something strange twinge inside of him at the sound of his voice. he nodded meekly, feeling awkward and out of place. taehyun paused for a moment, and then eyed the seat across from him in a sort of wordless gesture, turning his gaze back to yeonjun.

yeonjun walked over timidly, regretting for a moment not leaving when he had the chance. as he was putting his books down on the table, he cast a few side glances at taehyun’s face.

“you’re not in my class, are you?” he asked hesitantly, adding, “what year are you… sophomore?” he looked at his books feeling a bit pathetic for a moment, hoping that he was only mistaken. he didn’t want to come to a sophomore for help on material he hadn’t even taken a class on yet.

“is that a problem?” taehyun interjected, and yeonjun lifted his head at the hint of aggression laced in his voice. he stared for just a moment, taehyun’s wide brown eyes trapping him under their glare, and suddenly he was embarrassed.

“no, no, it’s not,” yeonjun was mumbling without thinking, quickly sitting down in the seat of the booth and reaching a hand behind his head to scratch awkwardly at his neck. “i just didn’t recognize you, that’s all…” he trailed off. it wasn’t a lie of course, but it certainly wasn’t all either. he could feel a hint of warmth beginning to blossom on his cheeks and wished it would cut it out already.

“so, what do you need help with?” taehyun asked, and yeonjun subtly shifted uncomfortably in his seat under the boy’s scrutinizing gaze. he couldn’t help but feel the itch on his skin from coming to someone younger for help, but as his mind drifted back to the mounds of homework waiting to be completed by him, he clenched his teeth and knew he would just have to bear it. passing his classes was his only option, and if taehyun was the thing that would help push him to that point, then so be it. besides, spending the afternoon with this kid…..it probably…. yeonjun glanced up quickly between his thoughts and met taehyun’s patient eyes. probably wouldn’t be that bad.

he blinked away his thoughts, looking down and spreading his books across the table between them. “biology,” he blurted out. “and my math class…” and then taehyun was nodding, flipping open his little notebook and reaching for his pen. he started writing some things down.

“what are you writing?” yeonjun asked, palms flat against the solid cover of his biology textbook.

“just some notes. it will make things easier to keep track of.” taehyun muttered absentmindedly, not halting his movements. yeonjun watched him, eyes glued to the way his hand produced small neat handwriting onto the paper.

“i can’t remember anything in biology,” he continued, still observing taehyun as he skipped a line and began writing more. “it’s like it makes sense, but it never stays in my head.”

taehyun nodded shallowly, and yeonjun got this weird feeling like he was talking to his teacher. this kid was way too serious and precise.

“and your math class?” taehyun asked suddenly, lifting his head from his notebook. yeonjun paused. maybe it was the lighting or something, or the cozy atmosphere of the cafe, or maybe just his nerves messing with his perception, but something about taehyun’s face looking up at him like that made his stomach flutter. “um,” yeonjun uttered, wiping his palms against his pant legs. “yeah, basically the same thing. i always understand it in class but when i try to do it on my own…” he shook his head.

taehyun nodded again, quickly jotting it down. “okay,” he said, dropping his pen. “i’ll see if i can help.” and then he did something that yeonjun wasn’t at all ready for. he smiled softly, eyes crinkling a bit at the corners. oh, he’s cute, was all yeonjun could think, and he breathed out a laugh, returning the smile but looking down as he did so. what is wrong with you? he thought to himself.

taehyun reached over and picked up his biology textbook by the corner, half dragging it across the surface of the table until it was in front of him. he flipped it open, skimming the table of contents briefly before looking back at yeonjun. “what unit are you on?” he asked, and yeonjun’s brain was lagging. the thoughts coming in one after the other now, flitting through his mind about how pretty his tutor looked sitting there, and how embarrassed he felt, and how awkward he was acting.

“unit 6, i think,” he murmured, and thought he heard taehyun laugh the tiniest bit at his uncertainty as he found the page number and flipped to it in the book.

`

they sat there for the next few hours, yeonjun taking taehyun’s sincere advice on how he could study better but often finding himself distracted by the calm timber of his voice. taehyun had an excellent way of explaining things, and the more time he spent listening to him, the more yeonjun wondered how he could possibly be a sophomore. he watched the way taehyun’s expression grew focused when he was explaining more difficult concepts, like when they went over his math formulas together. he cursed his heart for the way it skipped ever so slightly every time he got an answer right, every time taehyun applauded him for doing it correctly on his own. he just knew there was a warm redness in his cheeks, for how long it lasted he had no idea, but he felt so strange being tutored by someone like taehyun.

by the time they were done, taehyun had a good few pages in his little notebook about things they had accomplished, things they needed to work on still, and how yeonjun should proceed with his classes. yeonjun had a good amount of notes as well, filling the pages of his notebooks with as many practice problems from taehyun as possible, knowing he would need them later.

“we can meet… next week if you want? here again?” taehyun asked, and yeonjun found himself once again pulled into his round brown eyes, thinking for a moment that he saw a flicker of hope in them. “yeah,” he responded, biting at his lip. “sounds good.” taehyun’s gaze flickered downward for a split second, and then back up again. he nodded again, and began to gather his things together. then he paused, and suddenly groaned, bringing a hand up to his forehead in frustration.

“we never got any coffee,” he said in a disappointed tone. “it completely slipped my mind.” he shook his head slowly.

yeonjun laughed, a bright and airy sound, and couldn’t help the smile on his face from forming at how genuinely upset taehyun seemed to be. “me too,” he snickered, and watched as taehyun looked up at him and dropped his hand. he began to smile too, a bashful look gracing his features at his own reaction.

“um, do you want me to buy you one? we can still order…” yeonjun blurted out before he could think. “i can stay for a little longer…”

taehyun’s eyes widened just barely, his mouth opening to speak and then closing again. “oh,” he said, gaze dropping down and raising back up. “okay,” he said quietly.

yeonjun smiled wide in response, laughing awkwardly. he asked for taehyun’s order, and taehyun gave it to him, still looking a bit taken aback. as yeonjun walked away to order their drinks, he could feel taehyun’s curious gaze on his back. the smile on his face wouldn’t seem to fade, but little did he know how much trouble he was in now. after all, he had a lot of studying to do, but when he would finally get around to it during the days to come he would find himself unable to focus or concentrate. his mind would be way too preoccupied thinking about his tutor that was annoyingly younger than him, and how pretty he looked under the warm lights of the cafe that afternoon.

[thechildoflightning]

JKSF Jobs

I got asked awhile ago by the lovely @mewithanie if I could write about everyone’s jobs in jksf if it sparked my interest. It did spark my interest, but I couldn’t figure out how to make it into a one-shot or story, so take a tumblr post bullet-style explanation instead!

Read on to find out all about the jobs Patton, Roman, Logan, and Virgil hold in just keep stumbling forward (baby im waiting for you)

tw: suicide (oc), PTSD and trauma (mentioned only), mentions of drugs, alcohol, and school shootings.

Patton

Runs a non-profit

Non-Profit pairs up with schools

Non-Profit is an art therapy center focused on increasing connection within teenagers and allowing them an appropriate outlet for emotional turmoil

Patton’s group generally gets placed on ‘high-risk’ campuses or campuses that have incidents happen at them

‘High-risk’ in this case is defined by higher than normal suicide rates, low attendance rates, high-levels of illegal activity (generally drug and alcohol use), high rate of poor mental health, more than average amounts of cheating, etc

Instances involve things like excessive inappropriate school-wide behavior (ie. all the kids getting drunk and disorderly at a school event) as well as shocking incidents (student death from suicide, overdose, drunk driving, or things such as school shootings)

Some kids come by choice, others are referred through a suspension exchange program

Pretty much, a kid gets suspended but can choose to go to the group’s meetings instead of facing suspension

Kids get referred for suspensions that deal with violence, drug use, alcohol use, excessive absences, and so forth

The idea behind it is that suspended the kid will only negatively impact the kids record and give no reason to change behavior, while the group can help get to the root of the issue and work towards solving/improving that instead

Other kids go by choice bc they’re looking for extra support, a healthy outlet, advice, etc

They have weekly after school meetings (per each district, with one focal school in each one. The program is currently seven districts wide)

They also have lunch drop-ins were you can come make art, chill, get a snack, pet a therapy dog, and other stuff

One of Patton’s first schools was the same school Virgil works at

Patton generally leads the entire non-profit and has delegates to deal with the different districts

He handles the school/district that Virgil is at, though he attempts to go to as many things at the other districts as he can

Does a lot of outside work promoting the program to school and school boards, but is starting to delegate a lot of that work to others so he can focus on the kids instead of the bureaucratic shit

Has had to cut back on individual involvement and delegate more as the work and stress from running an entire non-profit has taken a large toll on his health related to chronic illness

He is Not Happy about this fact, but it’s for his health and he needs it. His spouses help support in any ways that they can.

Roman

Theater Boi

He is a director for a local theater company that is actually not half-bad

Enjoys the heck out of it

Went into college planning to become an actor

And boy does he love acting and the truth is? He was good enough. He could have become an actor. 

But somehow he finds it even more magical running everything behind the acting (and so so much more work, god he never realized how much Work This Was)

So he joins a theater company and he slowly works his way up

At first he comes in as assistant choreographer 

He’s young and they don’t think much of it, but the show genuinely improves by his individual suggestions and work and wait, who the fuck is this kid and how do we hang onto him?

He makes his way up quite quickly, sliding his way into assistant directly and then co-director and then suddenly the director’s leaving and now he’s the director

It happens fast and it’s very very exciting but he’s also honestly a little overwhelming and he’s never been good at managing large tasks without procrastinating bc executive dysfunction (see this post and this one about Roman and ADHD)

And now he is The Director and an entire production is depending on him. Everything. All of it. And it was what he was looking for but it’s a lot.

The first time he’s on his own, it goes okay

It’s by far not the best the company has done, but it’s also not the worst and the company is pretty supportive of his jump to director and the people who have been there longer help him learn to delegate tasks

And so he tries again, and he does better, and he just continues to get better from there

There’s just one hiccup: the scenographer

Basically the scenographer Does Not Like Roman and it creates Conflict

(In my head I sorta imagine the boss character Joan played when they were playing Thomas as Roman as Joan as the boss character in that one part of “Can LYING Be Good?”)

Luckily, Deceit later takes that position, and him and Roman work way better together and pull off some pretty bomb ass productions

Roman has been asked to join other companies before- specifically travelling companies and work on Specific Productions- which is very cool and very exciting but he decides he’d rather do what he’s doing now bc 

a) he enjoys the rhythm of his work. b) larger productions are more stress. c) he doesn’t want to be gone from his spouses. And d) he gets a lot of positivity and meaning out of what he does now and doesn’t see a reason to change that

Every summer he also runs the local chapter of Shakespeare in the park. 

He does act in these as well bc it’s completely volunteer based. Deceit also acts in these with him and these two theater dorks have way to much fun together

They may or may not of kidnapped Trixie for one of the productions (with Virgil’s consent of course)

Logan

Logan works for a company that considers themselves as a “research and problem-solving team for the improvement of marine environments”

Basically, Logan researches issues that negatively impact marine life and helps come up solutions to improve or solve these issues

Most of what he does is cycle through data that other researchers collect and figure out what that data means and how it connects

He looks at a lot of abstract numbers and pulls them together to state exactly what the numbers are reporting 

From there he brings that research to a board that forms a hypothesis and then comes up with potential solutions

These solutions are often considered very progressive and liberal and as such cause a lot of debate

Solutions range from legal changes (laws reducing companies waste, laws to prevent oil spills, protection laws around certain species/habitats, etc) to inventions (boats that clean the ocean, replication of habits to help support species that can’t live outside of a certain ecosystem, etc)

The company Logan works for has had numerous very successful projects and many of these projects were successful bc of Logan’s involvement

Logan’s spouses are very very proud of this fact

Logan is modest af and brushed it off

Logan’s had quite a few articles published in scientific journals and his findings/theories/work have also made it to national news in the past

Logan himself has actually been asked to present some of his stuff on the news multiple times. He refuses each time and someone else goes in his place.

Does this mean that person gets a lot of credit that should be assigned to Logan? Yes. Does that person feel bad? They do and try to give credit to Logan. Does Logan care? No, no he does not. 

Logan could care less about credit, he just cares about marine ecosystems and That’s Literally It

Seriously, people ask him things like “does he understand the ‘political implications’ of his job” or “Are you okay with your team constantly stealing your work” and he’s just like “Fish are cool. Leave me the fuck alone.”

Logan has also done more hands-on experience which has included cool adventures that included scuba diving trips to study coral reef damage, spending days in heavy wetlands, and swimming with sharks

His spouses think that this is the coolest thing and Logan agrees a 1000%

He usually works on research because that’s Where He’s Comfortable, but the occasional planned (it has to be planned) research trip is always exciting

Logan also has so much passion for his job. So much passion. It’s sort of an agreed upon deal in the house that when Logan comes home he will generally Need To Infodump because his job is The Coolest

Because of this, a time period between him getting off work and them eating dinner is designated Logan Infodumping Time

Generally this happens while they cook (because as mentioned a few times, Logan is the best cook)

Even if his spouse aren’t helping w/ dinner, they usually try to stick around and listen because a) Logan is Cute when talking about things he enjoys. b) he talks about interesting stuff. c) even if they don’t find it interesting, Logan’s enthusiasm is infectious and they just Have To Listen

Virgil

Virgil is a high school English teacher

He generally teaches sophomore regular English and junior AP English

Classes can shift slightly depending on the year

Virgil was at first a very distant teacher and didn’t connect with his students

Like his students thought he was a fine teacher bc he wasn’t too strict and didn’t assign a bunch of hw, but no one really liked him either

About his fourth year teaching, a kid at Virgil’s school got suicide baited and ended up taking their own life

It was a Big Deal (and is also how Patton found his way to Virgil’s campus)

After the event, there were lots of discussions and groups at the school, and each teacher talked to their classes

Virgil’s discussion was,, impactful to say the least

He talked to the students frankly about the issue and opened discussion to the topic while making sure to keep it respectful and calling students out on shit while at the same time helping support everyone who was struggling

He ended it with a small speech about self-worth, what it meant, and the struggle to achieve it, especially when everyone around you is pulling you down

It spreads like wildfire throughout the school and suddenly Virgil is a very well-liked teacher because He Gets It, y’know

(to clarify- his student’s do not know about his suicide attempts or personally history regarding his PTSD and experiences, that said, they all know there’s something different about this teacher. Something that makes him understand in a way others don’t)

He also has just this snark that students fall in love with

(One of his class’ learning targets for an entire week was just “We’re going to stick it to The Man. How you ask? Well we’ll find out!”

There was also a situation one year when one of Logan’s articles turned up in a multiple choice quiz and No One, including Virgil knew the answers (Virgil did have the answer key but it Did Not Make Sense)

He had to actually call Logan to figure it out

Turns out, most of them was the quiz maker’s mistake because he was asking questions about “author’s tone” and “author’s purpose” and Logan’s just like,, I didn’t meant to have any tone? I don’t understand tone? My purpose was I like fish? Why are they saying it’s to educate the average person??

(pretty much they analyze Logan’s article from a neurotypical standpoint, which Logan Is Not, so it doesn’t work. Virgil scraps the quiz.)

[juupajaa]

1This is gonna be super long and I'm sorry but I gotta get this off my chest somehow and I would like your input. Also major trigger warnings!! I did a bad thing?? I know I shouldn't have but it's already been done. For context, my friend lives in a different state but we live close to state lines so we meet up pretty much every other weekend. She lives by herself because her parents kicked her out (they're homophobic) but my family loves her so she spends holidays with us.

2I've been in recovery for about 11 months now and she's been my rock the whole time. She stayed with me on the phone for hours when I was real bad, and she gave me plenty of space too. I don't really like it when people baby me, it makes me feel like a burden. When I told her about my ed she stayed the same she always had been so it was a relief to be around her. My family voiced their concerns and talked about recovery so much I felt cornered a lot and needed a break from it.

3She didn't treat me with kiddie gloves like others did and helped me by keeping things normal, and supporting me more quietly and I think that's something super helpful that people don't talk about much. I know it's important to talk to someone and actively pursue recovery but I really needed that sense of normalcy too.

4She spent another weekend here, but when she had a bath her phone rang and I searched her bag for it in case it was her work. The call ended before I got to it but checked the notifications anyway so I could tell her who called. That's all good, but I noticed a tumblr notification and checked it without thinking. My friend has an ed blog??? I was shocked but put it away so I wouldn't be caught snooping, that wasn't even my intention.

5When she left I just spent hours scrolling through her blog. I know I shouldn't have but the curiousity got the best of me. I wanted to know if she had posted about me at all, which she hadn't. I feel so bad for never thinking something was wrong. Her weight has yoyo'd the whole time we've known each other, but she's been normal weight for as long as I remember.

What fucked me up is that her blog is much older than my eating disorder, and I just had really disordered thoughts. I thought wow I'm a fraud, she's been in this for years, maybe I'm just pretending?? But then it got nasty. My mind went to things like, all this time and she's not even skinny yet? At least I became underweight and it didn't take long. She eats so much she can't have an ed. I thought about how she looks too but she's normal weight, her body is perfectly fine! but ed logic right?

I'm so conflicted. I can't even begin to imagine how she must have felt all that time supporting me? All the stupid disordered shit I said, and still do sometimes.God I'm recounting times I complained about calories even when she had just eaten. I must have made her body image worse too because I would criticize even healthy bodies when she was right there. I know my disorder is to blame but I feel horrible. A lot of those I would trash were smaller than her and I didn't even think twice.

I've obsessively tried piecing things together. A couple of years ago we walked downtown and she commented it smelled like sophomore year, vomit. The whole time I was in recovery she ate normally. It was easier for me to start eating again because others did, especially her because she never nagged about it like my family did. Does she prefer visiting because it's easier to pretend away from home??

When I stay over she doesn't really have food at her place?? Could be coincidence but we go grocery shopping whenever I visit. Maybe Fridays are just her grocery day. I never thought about it but now I'm worried. Does she not eat when she's alone? From her blog I know she restricts a lot, but when she's with me she eats normally. When I was at my worst I found satisfaction in it and compared our intake.I don't think she purges when she's here and that could explain why she's not losing weight.

(Last one) Please help me, I don't know what to do. I'm worried but I don't want to lose her. I know I betrayed her trust and all but I can't pretend like I don't know and let her suffer. And she's a sweet girl, and I feel like shit now. She never even talks about her family situation so I doubt she'd tell me about her ed, especially since I'm in recovery. When her family kicked her out she seemed so calm, but that shit hurts?? It breaks my heart, even more now knowing about her ed too.

🌻

Yeah there's a lot of complicated stuff here but I feel like the first thing I should say is that you're beating yourself up for something that isn't your fault. I don't see you having done anything terrible here🤔

You weren't snooping, it's a very different thing to actively go look up other people's phones than to accidentally see something you didn't mean to see. And as for looking up her blog, if it's a public blog, you could have found it even without knowing it was hers. That's just something that we all need to realize when we make blogs and such. Even if your blog feels like a private thing, it really isn't if you put it online wide open.

And all that nasty disordered behaviour you did in her presence? You were sick and didn't know better. I know it's hard to separate these two sometimes, I struggle with it a lot too, but trust me, you're not a bad person for things you have done by accident or out of ignorance. And all the nasty thoughts you had about her are very normal ed thoughts. They feel awful and they're so intrusive and nasty, but they spring from your ed and not from your heart. You clearly love your friend a lot and want all the best for her, and your ed is just trying to hurt you through her when it spams those thoughts into your head.

And as for your friend, she's no doubt feeling horrible as well. I bet she must have felt like a fraud herself, watching you go to recovery while no one even notices that she's sick too. And as you said, she's been sick a long time and "still not losing weight", I wouldn't be surprised if she has been beating herself up for that as well. I feel like she's probably waiting for someone to notice her too.

To be honest, it sounds to me like you two need to have a talk. A really long and open talk that involves you both probably crying and hopefully hugging at the end. These talks are not fun to have but they clear these things up like nothing else. If you don't know how to set up such a talk, I recommend you open it with a text message and make some opening statements like "I really wanna talk about this thing but I dont know how to bring it up so here's a text. I know you're not doing so well and I want to support you like you've supported me. Can we meet up at some point and talk about this and this and this?"

I've had a few of these talks and every time I've had them, I've felt like I'm about to throw up, I'm sweating, I'm about to cry, but it is so worth it to go through with it bc it can solve such a huge amount of the problems that are festering. And after it's over, the relationship is so much stronger and both parties have an easier time to breathe.

If you have a hard time knowing what to say to her, just think about what you would want to hear in her situation. What you would have wanted to hear and what would have helped you feel better? You two share the experience and you both know exactly what words and gestures hurt you, and you also know what heals, what feels nice and what is needed.

Whatever you decide to do, I'm sure your friend would rather keep you and be happy and honest with you, rather than to let your friendship be rotten away by secrets and shame and guilt. Talking things through is hard but so are most things that will help you. Medicine usually tastes gross but it will help.

Good luck with it, I'm sure you can figure this out, just be honest with yourself and what you want to do and be so so so brave Remember to also take care of yourself and that you're still healing yourself ❤❤❤

[thephantomofthe-internet]

Mania (Eros p.t. 14)

Billy Hargrove x Reader, Jonathan Byers x Reader (Unrequited)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16

Word Count: oof 5006

Warnings: swearing, WATCH YOUR HEARTS CAUSE FLUFF HELLA FLUFF

Permanent tag: @hotstuffhargrove @steveharringtonofficial @denimjacketkisses @flamehairedwritings @hargroovin @nistaposebno @giftofdreams @feverxxdream

Series tag: @hargrovesgoldilocks @xicarcalii @wtf-richarddd @sighsophiia @baebee35 @rhyxn @wearemightyghosts @toriasaysso @random-stupid-stuffs @so-not-hotmess @warsintothestars @lilmissperfectlyimperfect @angellastor @baileythepenguin @sleepyspacegal @kingbouji3 @abbyed @80steenmovie @ohtaylorrose @strangerthingshargove @peanutlicker5000 @demoncrypt1066 @jinx-is-fire @pinklux

The female student body of Hawkins High was certainly not excited to see you arrive with Billy the next morning. The petty whispers about how ‘Billy’s guard dog had returned’ milled around you. But you didn’t mind as much as you should’ve, you were just happy to be friends with Billy again. It felt a bit odd, but you chalked that up to settling back into friends after so long as a third wheel. The strange vibes had to be from not knowing what your place was when there wasn’t a Valerie-type to conform your actions to.

Valerie, without a Billy, replaced the object of her attention and affections with the little sophomore, wrapping her arms around his neck and hanging off him in every situation. While Billy made that sort of thing look desirable, on that tiny boy’s frame it looked stifling and claustrophobic. You almost felt bad for the poor kid, but then you remembered what he was getting out of the relationship and the feeling ceased; he was living every sophomore’s dream. You wondered what Valerie was getting out of the whole thing, but that was a question no one seemed to have the answer to, so you let it lapse.

Besides, your days were infinitely filled with Billy at every turn. He seemed to be trying to fill every free moment you had before Christmas break, as though you wouldn’t see him at all during the break. Maybe you wouldn’t, nothing about Billy was ever set in stone and you couldn’t predict anything except that you’d miss him and you hoped he’d miss you too.

It was still too cold to sit outside at lunch, but Billy insisted on trying to continue your old tradition of sitting outside and listening to tapes in his car.

“It’s too cold freaking cold, Bill!” you cried at the very suggestion.

“It’s not that cold.” Billy retorted, crossing his arms over his chest like a huffy preteen.

“It is too! Especially when you leave that damn window open! It defeats the purpose of having the heater on and I refuse to have you hot boxing the car with your stupid habit!” you exclaimed, rolling your eyes at him.

“So I won’t smoke, there problem solved.” He decided, marching outside. You grabbed his bicep, failing spectacularly at pulling him back, trying to dig your heels into the hard tile floor.

“Billy!” you cried as he laughed at your feeble attempt, yanking you forward onto the balls of your feet. You fell forward slightly, and Billy’s arm came out to catch, almost like a parent’s arm when they stop too hard and fast. If this was a romance movie, your eyes would meet and, as if pulled by gravity, your lips would meet in the most heart stopping kiss imaginable. But life wasn’t a movie and you found your footing again, standing up straight.

“I am not sitting outside. You can go be cold outside on your own, but I’m going to be warm inside where I belong.” You said firmly, turning on your heel and heading back into the cafeteria.

Billy shuffled behind you, grumbling “You’re no fun…”

You chuckled “Yep. But don’t worry, we’ll continue the trend when its warmer.” You replied, dropping your things on a clear table.

“Yeah sure we will.” Billy muttered bitterly. You rolled your eyes, pulling out your history textbook and grabbing Billy’s homework from him, ready to correct the work your teacher hadn’t bothered to do, sliding your pack lunch to him.

“If you’re gonna be bitter I won’t fix this for you and then you won’t know why you failed again.” You said in a sing song voice, pulling out a red pen to follow along with his chicken scratch.

Billy continued to grumble for the rest of the day, but you paid him no mind. Even when he was acting like a baby, it was still nice to have him around. Hell, you had managed to muffle all the butterflies and keep them at bay for most of the day. You hardly blushed at all when he said that the little snort you’d let slip out while laughing was cute. You barely stared at all when you caught him smiling at his high grade on his English essay. You laughed and joked and pestered like everything was normal. It was as though your heart didn’t ache every time he whistled at or checked out another girl, his favour obviously falling to newly single Tina.

Of course, you couldn’t hear his internal monologue. How his heart sped up every time you laughed at one of his jokes, which he knew was ridiculous; he already knew that you thought he was funny. How he almost blushed when you reached over to brush a curl away from his face, even though he never blushed and hadn’t done so since he was eleven. How your smile felt both earned and desperately beautiful-quite possibly the most beautiful thing in the world. He was certain he was just horny. He wasn’t getting any even when he was with Valerie, not at the end, and now he was somehow getting less than before. Sure, he always thought you were pretty, but now it felt like a problem he had to conquer and the only possible answers were to sleep with you and move on or sleep with someone else and move on. Tina became the obvious answer, he wasn’t going to use you, and she’d been all over him since he arrived in this shit town. Flattery, with her, would get him anywhere, as it seemed.

So that afternoon, he gave your seat to her and you pretended to be fine with it. You walked home with Max skating ahead, making sure she didn’t get run over by some asshole in a pickup truck. The walk was cold and boring, but blissfully short and you were barely frozen when you got inside.

You had made up your mind that today you would tackle the mountain of laundry pouring out of your room. You’d been avoiding it for long enough to where you’d had to dip into your summer wardrobe for clean shirts and dug up some old cardigans from freshman year to cover your bare arms and shoulders. Now, it was time to tackle the beast. You also had to try to wrestle your mother’s paisley housedress off of her; she’d been wearing the same one from almost a month straight and it would take some supreme coaxing to get it into the laundry room and into a pre-soak. Just as you were loading the machine, switching the wet darks for the dry blues, the phone rang loudly. You stepped back into the kitchen, pulling the canary yellow phone off the wall.

“Hello?” you asked, cradling the receiver between your ear and shoulder, pulling the cord taught as you continue the laundry, using your foot to push the start button.

“Hey, Y/N, what’re you doing?” Billy asked on the other end.

“Laundry, what’re you doing? I thought you had plans with Tina?” you asked, bending down to grab the long forgotten basket of towels off the floor, propping it up on your hip and walking back into the kitchen. You placed it on the nearest counter and began the endless folding of the day.

“Eh, let ‘em fall through, she’s got a great ass but nothing much else.” Billy replied easily and you rolled your eyes.

“Wow I really didn’t need to know that.” You said, pausing with the big green towel to force the image of Billy’s hands on Tina’s ass out of your mind.

Billy chuckled “Sorry.” You hummed in response, dropping the folding towel and grabbed another one out of the basket, repeating the process. “So, you wanna go do something?” he asked.

“Eh,” you said, grabbing a face cloth and scratching your nail on a strange spot of pink paint, leftover mess from wiping your fingers on it while painting flowers on a corset for Romeo and Juliet. “Depends on what you wanna do?”

Billy rolled his eyes “What’d you wanna do?” he groaned, looking out into the cold, blustery afternoon. Since returning home it had started snowing and the thought of him leaving the house almost felt as though it wasn’t worth it. But the idea of seeing you made his heart lift out of its slump and he found himself wanting to go out again.

“Honestly, what I want to do is finish off my laundry. And I know for a fact you have a calculus test to be studying for.” You replied. Billy groaned, knowing you were right, but he wasn’t willing to give up yet.

“Well how about I come over and I help you with the laundry and you help me calculus.” He offered.

You scoffed “Two problems with that idea: one, my house is not the hangout and you know that, and two, I am shit at calculus and math in general and you are excellent at it.” You replied easily.

Billy sighed “You’re right, you’re right I just…I just wanna hang out with you, you know? When Valerie was around we didn’t get to hang out one on one as much…” he admitted.

You felt conflicted now. He was right, you two hadn’t hung out on your own much, both before their breakup and after, although each for their own reasons. So while you didn’t want to go out that day, you made up your mind to go out and make things better between you. “Okay, how about this-you let me finish my laundry and you finish studying and we’ll go out and drive around when we’re done, saying like seven, after I finish making dinner for my mom. Sound good?”

“Yeah, that’ll do, you want me to pick you up?” Billy said, sitting up in bed, looking out at his car, already being piled in snow.

“You told me that sitting in my car made you feel like a pussy, I wouldn’t want to emasculate you.” You joked remembering how, the first time you’d offered him a ride, he’d scoffed and cringed and did everything in his power to keep away. His car was one of the only things that gave him power, you realized.

“Fair enough.” He replied, trying to figure out how he was going to clear all the shit off his car. Truth be told, he was inexplicably excited. Sure, he’d seen you mere hours ago, but another chance to hang out with you seemed like something he couldn’t pass up, certainly not because of a bit of snow. It occurred to him that he’d do anything to see you, which was an odd thought to say the least.

Billy didn’t do anything for anyone, he refused to get attached. How could he? He moved every other year, his father avoiding one thing or another; he didn’t have the time with people to become dedicated. Girls were playthings for awhile, to take from and leave behind in a cloud of dust. And other guys were those to mooch off of and take from and cut off when it was time to go. He knew well enough to not get used to anyone. But he always unpacked-that was the part he never understood about himself. He let himself find something to like, hell to love, in a place and then had it ripped out from him when he had to leave.

California had been home for his entire life. He’d lived up in the north and down by the beach, Santa Monica to Sacramento and San Francisco and then right outside Los Angeles. He’d gone celebrity with his first step-mother, Carla, and surfing with his stepbrother, Mark. He’d learned to skateboard up the intense hills with his first best friend, Jake, who he stopped writing when he got to Sacramento. Friends and former family left scattered on his father’s endless search for something to call home. He didn’t seem to realize what Billy knew-that home had been with his mother, no matter where they went, and he’d left her scattered on the beaches in Santa Monica and packed them up to leave her behind.

But you-you were something like home. You had made cold and dark Indiana feel warm and bright simply by being around. You made everything better. You would be the hardest thing to leave behind when he left. You made him want to stay, which was a crazy thought seeing as Hawkins was quite possibly the worst place Billy had lived yet. Maybe it was only terrible when you weren’t with him. Maybe you’d make everything better. You already did so in the tiny world he lived in here; maybe it’d work outside Hawkins.

Billy didn’t put stock in people; he thus far had only needed himself. But he needed you. And that was a terrifying thought. Billy didn’t want to need anyone, he wanted to be free as a bird and wholly independent, but he had to admit that he needed you. Desperately. And Billy didn’t know this feeling well enough to define it, but he knew it probably went along with those butterflies and he knew that wasn’t a good sign. That was a bad sign. But the feeling was so wonderful that he almost felt addicted to it. He wanted to bathe in the feeling of his heart lifting and filling with joy, the warmth on his skin and the way you felt pressed to his side or chest. Billy had to admit it-he liked you way more than a friend should.

And he could either tackle the feelings head on or push them aside and hurt over them.

Billy ended up showing up early. You had to let him in; he still didn’t have a winter coat and it was freezing outside. You insisted that he stay in the foyer while you brought your mother dinner and grabbed your things from upstairs. He did as you instructed with a smile. He was just glad you didn’t scream at him for coming to the door like last time.

You tiptoed into your mother’s room, placing the tray on her bedside table and a kiss on her forehead. “Mama?” you whispered, brushing her sweaty hair off her forehead “I’m going out, I’ll be back later okay? Daddy will be home later.” You left before she could even stir and grabbed your bag, rushing back downstairs. You were relieved to find Billy exactly where you’d left him, not touching any of the dusty furnishings like Valerie had. And he was smiling, a sight that was becoming less and less rare.

“You ready?” he asked. You hopped down the final steps and brushed past him to get to your coat. If you had known that the very faint touch had nearly stopped his heart, you’d probably faint from shock.

“Just let me grab my coat.” You replied, giggling slightly. He was so antsy, you had no idea why, but it was cute. Once you were ready, you led him out of the house.

“You got a nice place.” He said and you rolled your eyes.

“No need to be nice, Hargrove, I know it’s a nightmare. I think my room is the only place that’s actually clean. Well there and the kitchen. Those are the only places I feel capable of tackling.” You explained with a shrug, pulling open the passenger side door before the thought of opening it for you even crossed into his mind. He followed your lead and started out of the driveway.

“I just meant that it’s big, bigger than my place. I feel like I’m trapped every time I’m home.” He replied, turning his car straight again and speeding out of your street.

“Well I mean we’ve got less people, it’s really only me and my mom most of the time, my dad’s usually at the hospital.” You said, grabbing onto the cushion of your seat. “Okay, slow the hell down, we’re gonna spin out on the fucking ice on the side streets!” you gasped, smacking his arm.

“Chill, kid, we’re fine.” Billy replied, although his face and voice were anything other than reassuring. He looked like he was having fun, which cranked up your nerves to eleven.

“We are not fine! Slow down, please Billy!” you cried. Billy’s gaze flicked to you and the sheer anxiety and fear on your face was heartbreaking. His foot lifted off the gas without a second thought, bring his speed back down to something normal.

“Hey, we’re okay. I’m slowing down, why you pick a tape or something? Focus on that for a bit.” He said quietly and you nodded, opening the glove compartment, rattling through tapes with shaky hands, pulling out the first one you found.

The inscription on the found was enough to break down some of your nerves. ‘Love Grows Where My Billy-Willy Goes, and Nobody Knows But Me’, the label read in pink ink, the title surrounded by hearts. In the right hand corner, the creator had signed it ‘Love, Cherry’ which made you laugh even harder.

“Oh my god, who the hell is Cherry and why is she such a sap?” you asked, flashing the tape at him and earning an embarrassed groan.

“She’s this chick from Inglewood who I used to see, I can’t believe you found that.” He replied, his face scrunched into a look of embarrassed disgust.

“Is she actually named Cherry?” you asked.

“Don’t make me answer that…” he muttered and your face brightened exponentially.

“No no now you have to tell me!” you cried. Billy only shook his head and you rolled your eyes “Either tell me the story or we listen to this tape.” You warned.

Billy sighed “Her name is Irma, god awful name, I started calling her cherry cause she was a virgin and wouldn’t go all the way and she liked it and thought I was being sweet or some shit. I mean I was making fun of her, but I think she liked not being called Irma.” He explained, turned down Main Street and picking up his pace again.

“Wait seriously?” you asked, furrowing your brow. Billy shrugged, nodding reluctantly. “Why was she so into you then? Sounds like a shitty time.” You said.

“I don’t know, honestly I was just trying to shake her, but she wouldn’t release, ya know? Made me the tape when I left, I’ve never listened to it.” He explained, speeding past Benny’s Diner and carefully into the woods, minding the trees as he weaved his way to the quarry.

“Well, no time like the present!” you said, popping the tape into the car stereo and turning down the volume. You half wished she’d done some sort of introduction, whispered sweet nothings to the listener before the first song started, but instead the first song just began. You could practically feel how hard Billy’s eye roll was when California Dreamin’ started through the speakers. It was quite possibly cliché song anyone could’ve chosen for someone leaving California.

“Oh my god…” Billy muttered “This is the cheesiest thing ever…”

“Eh, it’s definitely the wrong song, but the band itself isn’t bad. She could’ve gone with Dedicated to the One I Love if she was dead set on The Mamas and the Papas.” You replied breezily, watching snow laden trees brush your window. The forests of Hawkins were abnormally beautiful tonight, or maybe it was just the way the moonlight hit the thin white blankets covering the sleepy town.

Billy parked close to the lake and you undid your seatbelt, tucking your feet under you. Billy didn’t comment on your feet being on the interior. He turned down the radio.

“You ready for your calc test? Last one before exams…” you asked, turning to face him, tucking loose strands of hair behind your ears.

“Ugh the semester’s almost over, isn’t it?” Billy groaned, rubbing a hand over his face.

You chuckled “Yep, just about, it’s a week till winter break.” You replied.

“You going away for it or staying in town?” Billy asked.

You shrugged “No clue, usually we’d go down to visit my grandparents but these past few years my dad’s worked Christmas so probably not.” You said.

“How’s that?” Billy smirked, already guessing how awful it must be.

“Eh, it’s not bad.” You sighed “It’s just lonely. My mom doesn’t get out of bed most days anyway but on Christmas she usually spends a chunk of the day just crying. I try to stay out of her way, stick to my room. I’m not expecting many if any gifts anyway so I just try to busy myself for the day.”

Billy nodded, his expression souring. He wasn’t a huge fan of the holiday to begin with, but that sounded incredibly awful and depressing. He reached his hand over to yours and squeezed it comfortingly. You gave him a weak smile, squeezing his hand back before releasing it again.

“What about you? Headed back to the sunshine state for Christmas? Gonna find a real palm tree to set your gifts under?” you joked meekly, earning a small smile from the worried looking boy.

“Nah, no way would my old man put up the cash to fly us all home for the holidays. Knowing him it’s just gonna be a stupidly early morning to please Susan and then him getting mad when we disappoint her by not being excited about it. After the mandatory family shit I’ll probably be trapped in the house all day, unless Max needs a ride somewhere. According to them I don’t have anywhere else to be without Val.” He replied grumpily.  

You smiled “Well, looks like we’re both gonna have a shit time.”

Billy laughed at that “If I have to drive Max anywhere I’ll make a stop to you but other than that I’ll be stuck inside. Probably can’t even call because the phone lines have to stay open for all those merry Christmas calls we aren’t gonna get.”

You felt a small smirk come to your lips as an idea flashed through your head. “There is one part of this shit holiday I do wonderfully and that’s baking. I can most definitely get into your house.” You replied.

“How the fuck is you being a good cook, which you aren’t by the way I’ve seen your home ect grades, going to get you into past my parents?” Billy scoffed.

“I have my ways…” you said with a wink.

Billy nodded, looking out into the trees. “I took your advice.” You hummed in response, turning to watch the side of his face as he swallowed hard. “I came up with a plan. Not a backup plan, cause I didn’t really have a plan to begin with, but now I know what I’m doing when everything goes to shit.”

You smiled “Good. That’s really good, Bill.” You said, patting his shoulder. A small smile spread across his face, genuinely proud of himself and more than a little happy that you were proud of him.

“What’re you doing after this?” he asked.

“Well I’m going home, probably gonna finish that laundry-” you joked easily, your face breaking when Billy turned back to you with a scowl.

“I mean after high school, doofus.” He replied.

You shrugged softly “I don’t know. I’m not going to school just yet; don’t really know if I want to go at all. I wanna leave this town though, go live somewhere new for awhile, far away from Hawkins.” You said.

Billy nodded “I’m going back to California.”

That hit you hard. You expected as much, Billy wasn’t long for this town, but the idea of him leaving so soon, how quickly it was all ending, hurt. You wished you could bottle soft moments like these and hold onto the feeling they gave you. You didn’t want to have to move on with life without Billy around. It sounded too boring and sad.

“I called Karalee, told her about Indiana, she said when I graduate I can come back to Sacramento, live with her for awhile. It’s not a permanent set up, she can’t really afford to have me live with her forever, but it’ll work until I’m on my feet out there.” Billy explained, but you were a million miles away from him, in the throes of the sadness that he’d inadvertently set upon you.

“Right…” you nodded, closing your eyes and you found a tight smile “That’s really great, Bill.” You said.

“You should come with me.” Billy said simply. If you weren’t already looking at him, you would snap to look over at him. The idea was so out of the blue. But looking at Billy, you could tell he’d thought about it. That was a comforting thought, knowing that he’d thought about this.

“What?” you asked, choking on your own spit.

“Yeah, come with me. It’d be fun.” Billy said smoothly, his cocking smirk replacing the smile as he turned back to you, taking your hand in his.

“Bill…it’s a sweet offer, but I really can’t intrude on Karalee, I mean she doesn’t even know I exist. I mean it’s just not plausible I-” you started, but Billy cut you off.

“Karalee would like you. I already told her about you anyway so I really don’t see a point of arguing with this one.”

“Why should I come anyway? It’s not like you can’t handle California on your own. And who said I even wanted to go there anyway? What if I have my own plans?” you shot.

“You’re right; I can handle California on my own.” Billy agreed and you smiled smugly. “But I want you to come with me. I want you in my life, alright, and I think this would be a fun adventure for you, is that a good enough answer?”

You felt a light blush come to your cheeks as you looked away “It’s certainly a sweet answer, I just…I don’t know. I have a lot to consider, okay?” you said.

“Consider saying yes.” Billy replied with a smirk.

“Bill…” you sighed “If I say maybe, can this conversation end?” Billy nodded, watching as you began to smile just a little. You looked incredibly shy and sweet, damn near innocent like a fucking bluebell. His whole brain felt sappy and saccharine, and while usually he’d feel stupid and gross, right now he really liked the feeling, which was incredibly stupid.

“Okay sure fine, we’ll move to California,” you relented “In this hypothetical world where-”

Billy’s hand was around your neck before you realized what was about to be happy. Your senses filled with the spicy scent of Billy’s cologne, intoxicating and sexy; Jonathan always smelt like laundry soap and a tiny bit like green apples, which was sweet and simple. Compared to him, Billy was a blazing fire while Jonathan was a cool, still, boring pond. You’d never wanted to burn so badly in your life. And then-fireworks, electricity; your body felt like it was about to short circuit and it never felt more wonderful.

Billy’s lips were so soft and so needy; he was kissing you like you were the coldest drink in the hottest desert imaginable. You couldn’t help but kiss him back, it was too wonderful and you wanted it so badly; you hadn’t realized how much you needed this until it was happening.

But, as Billy’s warm hand slid up and under your shirt and he pulled you effortlessly closer, you started to worry. He’d just broken up with Valerie and he had been so broken up about it at Vicki’s. Sure, he’d said that he wasn’t in love with her, but Billy liked to lie and this would’ve been something he’d easily lie about. And that worried you. It worried you so much that you broke away, pushing a hand into his chest, trying not to revel in the feeling of his hard body under your suddenly sweaty hand.

“Woah woah…” you gasped, looking up at his as you panted together.

“What? What’s wrong what happened?” he asked breathlessly, hands coming tightly to your hips, rubbing small circles on them.

“I won’t be your rebound.” You said, your voice finding some strength that you didn’t know it had. You felt almost brave for saying as much.

“What?” he asked, furrowing his brow.

“You just broke up with Val, I know you still have feelings for her and I won’t be your rebound.” You snapped.

“What the fuck are you talking about? I’m not fucking interested in Val.” He retorted.

“You certainly were trying to block out something with Tina today.” You muttered.

“Jesus Christ I was trying to block out you! I wanted you and I was too lame to do anything about it!” Billy snapped.

You scoffed “Why is this coming up now? Why didn’t this come up when I poured my heart out to you?” you demanded.

Billy shook his head, flabbergasted. “When did you pour out your heart to me? When you were screamed in my face and told me to fuck off?” he asked.

“After Vicki’s party! I told you I loved you and you laughed in my god damn face!” you cried.

“I…what? You love me?” Billy asked, his eyes wide. Nobody had said that they loved him since his mother passed away. He didn’t believe you. But he wanted to so badly.

“Yes! And I won’t be fucking hurt by you! I won’t end up like Tina or Val or any of the other’s you left behind!” you cried, forcing the door open. Hot tears were streaming down your cheeks, it felt terrible. You had a long walk home and you wouldn’t let him make it hard.

“Y/N! It’s fucking freezing! Get back in the car!” Billy cried as you marched deeper into the woods. You merely flipped him off, pushing deeper into the darkness. Anywhere was better than here.

[optimismrpt]

have you written any books?

Careful there nonnie, that’s dangerous zone to enter. because once i start talking about personal writing projects i never stop! currently i have eight completed novel manuscripts, none of which are published because the industry is incredibly hard to break into! so i’m putting querying on hold until next year when i have my creative writing degree in hand! 

Rise of the Night, Trial of the Rivers, The Celestial Staff - I don’t really count my first three because while they are novels reaching over 250 pages a piece, they are also percy jackson oc fanfiction.  I started when I was twelve and it just got so out of hand with people asking for the next chapter that it turned into three novels over the course of four years. 

Prime, Spliced, Divine - This trilogy is sort of a rewrite of my first three. Same main character but I revamped the side characters, took out all the copyrighted stuff, and added sci fi elements other mythology like mutations, genetic splicing, etc. I actually wrote the last page of Divine the day before I left for college! 

David’s Peak - I wrote this my freshman year of college. It is a faux memoir piece inspired by welcome to night vale and it involves magical realism / supernatural elements. Basically I wanted to ask the question ‘How do you come to term with reality in a town where nothing is real?’. It is a about a widow six years after her husband’s death facing her abandonment issues as everyone in the town goes missing. 

Night Twelve - This was my sophomore year project. It’s Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night but even more bisexual, set in space, and featuring some WW2 inspired conflict. I plan on writing a sequel based on The Tempest and then turning into into a trilogy to it if I ever get it published. 

Amelia Bright: Petsitter to the Absurdly Rich - This is my current project inspired byt he likes of Legally Blonde and Confessions of a Shopaholic but I’m playing calvinball and chasing my bliss so as not to force myself into writing something I don’t want to. I’m only twenty pages in but I have hope since it’s based off some real life stories. After all, they say write what you know! 

The Blitzkrieg Breaker - My current summer project! It is an urban fantasy novel set in 1941 which follows a witch as she navigates the magical underground searching for a missing device which is said to be powerful enough to turn the tide of the war. Accompanied by a clockmaker and a mutated crow, the witch must make sure the device never falls into the hands of axis powers or risk taking the blame for the end of the world. 

I’d also like to write a series of short novellas following the mysteries that my character Lena solved while working for MI6. And I have a total of 46 tv show/movie/graphic novel ideas in my google drive to be put into action once I learn how to execute that style of draft! Thank  you so much for your interest sometimes I feel like I’m shouting at the void when I talk about my writing so your curiosity is very appreciated!

[schadenfreudefreude-blog]

This is what youth and adolescence feels like

There are beautiful, wonderful, tender memories from childhood I could put in this story; my childhood loves and my pleasant life in gentle, loving surroundings filled with light. But I am interested here only in the steps I have taken in my life to arrive at myself. I will leave in the glowing distance all the lovely oases, blessed isles, and paradises whose magic I experienced; I have no desire to set foot in them again.

And so, for as long as I stay with my girlhood years, I will speak of only the things that felt new, that pushed me onward, broke me loose.

Then came the years when I had to recognize once again the primal attraction within me, one that had to cower and hide in the permitted world of light. Like everyone else, I too experienced my slowly awakening sexual feelings as an enemy and a destroyer, as something forbidden, as temptation and sin. The great mystery of puberty, which I was desperately curious to solve and which gave rise to dreams, lust, and fear, did not fit at all in the sheltered bliss of my peaceful childhood world. So I did what everyone does: I led the double life of a child who is no longer a child. My conscious life was lived in the familiar space of what was allowed, and denied the world rising like a new dawn to me. At the same time though, my life was lived in dreams, urges, longings of subterranean kind across which my consciousness built ever more anxious and fearful bridges as the childhood world within me fell apart. Like almost all parents, mine did nothing to help the life forces awakening within me, which were never spoken about when I turned thirteen and I got the first guy who courted me and I ghosted because I'm so afraid and innocent and then while I was one of the cheerleaders of the cheerleading squad, there's this musician volleyball player Senior Captain guy who became my first boyfriend for six months and broke up with me in Yahoo Messenger because we were in a long distance relationship and I'm not fulfilling the girlfriend duties enough or maybe he found someone else in Manila. After that, I only involved myself to feel attraction through having crushes and I never had a boyfriend after that year and in my college years. My mother strictly taught me when I was fourteen to only give it to the man I'll marry in the future; my future husband should be the first one to get it. And until now, I still obeyed it and I'm still choosing to wait for the right time and the right person. My parents only tried, endlessly and untiringly, to help me in my hopeless efforts to deny reality and stay in a child's world that grew more and more false and unreal everyday. I do not know if parents can do anything else, and I am not criticizing mine in particular. It was up to me to finish growing up and find my own way; I did it badly, like most well-raised children.

Everyone passes through these difficulties. For the average person, this is the moment when the demands of his life come into the starkest conflict with his environment, when he has to fight the hardest to make his way farther along his path. Many people experience the death and rebirth that is the destiny of us all only this once, as childhood rots from within and slowly disintegrates, as everything we have grown to love abandons us, and we suddenly feel the solitude and deathly cold of the universe around us. And very many people remain stuck at this hurdle their whole life long, desperately hanging on to the irretrievable past and clinging to the dream of a paradise lost, the worst and most deadly of all dreams.

The sensations and mental images with which the end of childhood proclaimed itself in me are not worth telling here. The important thing was that the dark world, the other world, was back. At the same time, the other world outside me was gaining more and more power over me, too.

When vacation was over before college, I went to Baguio. Both my parents came with me and entrusted me with all possible care to a condominium dormitory. They would have frozen with horror had they known the kind of life they were letting me wander into.

The question was still whether I would, with time, turn into a good daughter and useful citizen, or whether my nature was pushing me onto other paths. My last attempt to be happy under the shadow of the parental house and its spirit had lasted a long time, for a while it had almost succeeded, but now it had finally and completely failed.

The strangest emptiness and isolation I had come to feel for the first time the summer before my sophomore year in college (and oh, how well I got to know it later; this emptiness, this thin air!) did not pass away quickly. I found it oddly easy to leave home, I was a little ashamed of not being sadder, in fact; my mother expressed her worries, but I couldn't. I was amazed at myself. I had always been a sensitive child who expressed her feelings; a good girl, when it came down to it. Now I had completely changed. I acted with total indifference toward the outside world and spent days at a time attending only to myself, listening to the dark, underground currents rushing and roaring inside me. I had shot up very quickly in the past six months and looked miserable, skinny, and immature. Everything girly boyishly lovable about me disappeared; I was well aware that it was impossible to love me as I was, and I did not love myself either. I missed myself who loves writing much of the time and there I was memorizing the periodic table and formulas, solving Physics and Chemistry problems for my pre-med course.

So, when I shifted to Communications from Pharmacy in the next semester, I was neither liked nor respected because I was a new face in the Humanities department. They would say hi to me and asked me if I'm Chinese or Korean. I have no friends at all. No one knows me. Boys teased me and then left me alone, having decided I was a weird, distant, unpleasant sort. I took pleasure in this identity and even exaggerated it, grumbling my way into a solitude that looked like a feminst superiority and contempt on the outside while secretly I suffered constant fits of depression and despair. At school I got by for a while on what I had already studied back home, the class was a bit behind me where we had been because I love writing and journalism when I was in high school because I was the news editor of our school paper in my senior year and I was part of the editorial staff for 4 years in high school, and I got into the habit of viewing the other students my age with a certain contempt, as children. It went on like that for a year. Nothing changed on my first few visits home, and I was always glad to go back to school.

Then it was early November of year 2014. Whatever the weather, I would take little intellectual walks, which often gave me a kind of pleasure that was full of melancholy, scorn for the world, and contempt for myself as well. That was how I felt one evening as I strolled through the city of Baguio in the damp, misty twilight. The wide avenue of public park was completely deserted, and inviting; as I walked down the lane, thickly covered with fallen leaves with a dark, voluptous desire. It smelled wet and bitter; distant trees loomed up eerily out of the mist, tall and shadowy.

I stopped at the end of the road, not knowing what to do next. I stared down at the dark vegetal mass and greedily breathed in the wet smell of death and decay, which something inside me responded to and welcomed. Oh, how insipid the taste of life was!

Someone approached down a side path, his coat billowing in the wind. I wanted to keep walking, but he called my name.

"Hello, Lianne. Huy, Lianne!"

He came up to me. It was Lance, the first guy I seriously liked when we were living in my first condominium dormitory when I was first year in college. He is now a physicist and he studied in UP Baguio. I confessed to him that I like him when I was 16 and we were both cool about it and we are good friends after that. I always enjoyed seeing him and had nothing against him except that he always treated me like a baby.

"And what brings you here?" he called out affably, in the tone that bigger kids liked to take when condescended to talk one of us. "Writing a poem, I bet."

"Never occured to me," I snapped back.

He laughed out loud and walked next to me, chatting. I had completely forgotten what that felt like.

"Don't think I wouldn't understand Lianne. I know how it is, when you're taking a walk like this in the evening mist, with 6PM thoughts, you want to write poems, I know. Poems about dying nature, of course, and the lost youth it's a symbol of."

"I'm not that sentimental. How dare you!" I defended myself.

"Alright, nevermind. Alam mo kapag ganito ang weather it's good to find a nice quiet place with a glass of wine or something along those lines. Sama ka saken? Come with me. I happen to be all alone. Or ayaw mo? Ayaw kita mapariwala if may plano ka maging good model student."

Soon we were sitting in a small pub at the edge of the city, drinking a dubious wine and clinking out our glasses together. I didn't like it very much at first, but still it was something new. Soon though, not used to drinking wine, I started talking my head off. It was as though a window had opened inside me, and the world was shining in; how long, how terribly long it had been since I'd said anything I really felt! I started to give my imagination a free rein, and before I knew it I was telling Lance the story of Cain and Abel in the Bible.

Lance listened with delight. Finally, someone to whom I have something to give! Someone who could make deep talks with me. He clapped me on my shoulder, he called me a deep one fellow and my heart swelled with pleasure: I could finally let myself go, indulge in the need to talk and communicate that had been pent up so long, and feel acknowledged by someone older than me, like I was worth something. When he called me brilliant and smart, what he said sank into my soul like sweet, strong wine. The world shone in new colors, thoughts came to me from a hundred mischievous sources, wit and fire blazed up within me. We talked about our teachers, our schools, our classmates, and it seemed to me we understood each other splendidly. We talked about the Greeks, paganism, and Lance insisted on turning the conversation into confessions of amorous adventures. Here I had nothing to contribute. I had not had any adventures, not worth telling. And what I had felt, built up by my imagination, burned within me but the wine did not free it or enable me to talk about it. Lance knew a lot more about girls than I did, and I listened passionately to his fairy-tale stories. What I learned was unbelievable: things I had never thought possible entered ordinary reality and seemed obvious, normal. These girls in his stories have already acquired quite a store of an experience. Among other things, that girls always want nothing but chivalry and attention, which is fine as far as that goes but not the real thing. You could get farther with women. They were much more reasonable.

I remember the night very clearly. When the two of us started home late, past the dully burning gas lamps in the cool wet night, I was drunk for the first time. It did not feel pleasant. It was excruciating. But still, there was something about it: sweet excitement, rebellion, spirited life. Lance took good care of me, even while gripping about what a total beginner I was, and he brought me home, half carrying me, and managed to smuggle us into the dorm through an open hall elevator.

But after a short dead sleep, I woke up to a headache, sobriety, and terrible sadness. I sat up in bed, still wearing my shirt from the day before, with my other clothes and shoes lying around the floor and stinking of smoke and vomit. Between headache, nausea, and unspeakable thirst, an image rose up in my soul that I had not seen for a long time: I saw my parents' house, my hometown, Father and Mother, my siblings, the garden; I saw my quiet, comfortable bedroom, the school, and the market square, all of it flooded with bright light, radiant, all of it wonderful, godly, and pure, and I now knew everything, had still belonged to me the day before, just a few hours ago, had been waiting for my return, but now, only in this moment, it had sunk forever under the waves, was cursed, was no longer mine. It had thrown me out and now looked upon me with disgust! Everything I had so profoundly loved, everything back to the most distant, golden garden of my childhood that my parents had given me, every bless, every Christmas, every bright, pious Sunday mornings at home, every flower in the garden, it was all laid to waste, I had trampled it under my feet. So that's how I looked in the inside! I, who went around despising the world, proud in spirit. I was a pig, like scum, drunk and filthy, disgusting and low, a wild animal taken unawares and overpowered by hideous urges. I, who had come from the garden where everything was purity and radiance and blessed tenderness, who have loved poetry and Bach music, now looked like that inside. I could still hear my laugh ringing in my ears, drunk and out of control, bursting out in idiotic stops and starts and it filled me with rage and disgust. That was me!

Despite everything, it was almost pleasurable to suffer these torments. I had crept around blind and numb for so long, my heart cowering poor and miserable in the corner, that even this self-hatred, this horror, this whole horrible feeling in my soul was welcome! At least I felt something! The embers still flickered with some kind of fire, a heart still beat in there! I was confused to feel something like liberation and springtime in the middle of all my misery.

Meanwhile, to the other side, things went downhill with me in a hurry. My first binge was soon only a first to many. There are a lot of drinking and running wild went on as I meet more friends who asked me to go out. I once belonged to the dark world. At the same time I felt miserable. I was living in a self-destructive riot. I can still recall how tears came to my eyes once when I left a bar on Sunday afternoon and saw children playing in the street, bright and happy, with freshly combed hair, in their Sunday clothes. And the whole time that I was entertaining and often shocking my friends with my monstrous cynicism at the dirty tables of cramped pubs between puddles of beer, in my heart of hearts I still respected what they were mocking. On the inside I kneeled in tears before my soul, before my past and my parents, before God.

I never felt truly one with my companions. I was still lonely when I was with them, and that's why I suffered so. And I never went along with my buddies to see boys. I was alone and full of burning longing for love. A hopeless longing even while I talked like a hardened libertine. No more was more fragile, more full of shame, than I was. I was anxiously ashamed of the warm, shy moods I so often felt, the tender thoughts of love and care that so often came over me.

I cannot summarize in brief about what I learned from my adolescence stage. The most important thing I learned from it was another step on the path to myself. I'm now young adult. I was an unusual young woman around twenty-two years old, precarious in a hundred ways but very far behind and helpless in hundred ways. When I compared myself to the other people my age, I sometimes felt young and full of curiosity. There were times when people see me gifted and creative. They admire how I write and how I sketch and paint. During college, I was eaten up with worries and self-hatred about how hopelessly isolated I was from other people, how cut off from life. They are all dating but I'm closed.

After college, I lived again at my hometown with my family. This new environment gave me courage and taught me to keep my self-respect. The way people always found something valuable in my words, my dreams, my thoughts and imaginings, always took them seriously and discussed them in earnest, became exemplary for me.

I like music because it's outside morality. I can't keep comparing myself to other people. I sometimes feel like I don't belong, I blame myself for following a different path than most other people. I have to unlearn that and I did. Stare into the fire, look at the clouds, and when ideas and intuitions came to me and the voices of my soul start to speak, I trust them and I don't worry about anything.

[makerof150papermasks]

The Three Governments of Spyro the Dragon

 Today, I have something really interesting that I feel would be worth talking about. Now I remember recently reading a post titled “’Kirby Super Star’ is a Marxist critique of the Soviet Union,” which delves into the titular 1996 SNES video game so deeply and somehow matches it up with certain pieces of USSR history (Reddit). After viewing this, I began to think, “I know a few other games that I could analyze like this guy did with Kirby.” Yes, I was motivated so much by this blog that I had a hunch to work on my own research chat.

Now the games I am about to talk about are the first three games in the Spyro the Dragon series first released for the PlayStation from 1998 to 2000, titled Spyro the Dragon, Spyro 2: Ripto’s Rage, and Spyro: Year of The Dragon (Additionally, all three titles recently received a remake collectively titled “Spyro Reignited Trilogy,” which makes this document relevant as of 2019). With a little research, I was able to pair those games with a government that best defined them in a nutshell. Of course, not all real-life elements of these governments may actually match up with how any of the fictional societies depicted operate, but I’ve tried my hardest to make sure the details match up strongly enough that they can be talked about.

 *If you haven’t played the games yet and don’t want to be spoiled, then don’t bother reading!

  Spyro the Dragon: Confederation (Left)

 I want to start this discussion by saying something unique about this first third of the review: unlike the latter two titles, Spyro the Dragon seems to promote the idea of its featured form of government rather than point out the significant flaws and ensure the audience doesn’t sympathize with the concept at hand. First off, I want to give you folks a good look at how the populace of the Dragon Worlds goes about their lives and organizes themselves socially speaking. For those of you don’t already know enough about the game’s context, there are five socially-unique sectors that each owe something important to the well-being of the larger society. The Artisans represent the working class, the Peace Keepers are equivalent to a military system, the Magic Crafters are most likely representative of the business owners and upper class (As noted by the sheer presence of overly-elegant architecture in their specific area), the Beast Makers represent those who work in health, medical, biological, and other science-related fields, while the Dream Weavers can be considered a spiritually-grounded group of dragons who are experts in the field of meditation. Then there’s the extra sixth sector known as Gnasty’s World (Residence of main antagonist Gnasty Gnorc, who holds no true political power under any circumstance; therefore, I will leave him out of the equation), which I’ll just shoehorn into the sanitation sector, even though it would still easily be associated with the working class (Artisans). 

With the exception of Gnasty’s World, these groups all serve an equally vital role in establishing the economic stability and societal foundation of the Dragon Worlds, in the form of a confederation. Now if you folks are wondering what that’s supposed to mean, here’s the definition; “an organization which consists of a number of parties or groups united in an alliance or league.” For a historical example, the United States operated in this manner under the Articles of Confederation of 1777, which was ratified in 1781 and formed a society whose power lay mostly in the hands of the member states. Up until 1789, these states could establish laws without having to worry about a federal government trampling over those laws since the existing equivalent had far less political power than the one present (Reference.com).

Revisiting my view from the previous paragraph, it can be noted that each of the first five sectors can be viewed as separate, autonomous states that, in spite of their different approaches to solving daily situations, hold a common view of some sort that unites them into a larger entity. While it’s not known in canon if the sectors that dragons live in have ever come into conflict with each other at any point, I will bring up some backstory later on that may be worth identifying.

  Spyro 2: Ripto’s Rage: Empire (Middle)

 Now looking at the titular villain and his path to wretchedness, picture him as this small, colonial society. From what we’re aware of based on the context provided in-game, Ripto and his cronies have no idea that Avalar (The main setting of this sophomore title) even exists at first. Now keep in mind that since Ripto despises dragons, he’s picky about where he wants to expand his influence. But anyway, once he finds himself in this dragon-free dimension, it becomes the perfect opportunity for Ripto to slowly nibble away at the land until there is no more for him to take over, aka, colonize. Of course, once Spyro shows up, the horned, red midget becomes rather peeved, prompting him and his goons to actually begin setting up the framework for his proposed kingdom. 

Throughout the events of the game, Ripto not only uses his magic to spread his negative influence across the dimension (AKA: Cause various beasts and baddies to run amok and result in calamity), but we are also shown the blue banners of Avalar being rolled back in favor of emblems donning the antagonist’s mug, THRICE. According to my searches, an empire is defined as, “an extensive group of states or countries under a single supreme authority, formerly especially an emperor or empress.” In this case, Ripto can easily be seen as emperor because at his highest position, he holds control over not just his two reptilian brutes (Who serve as a metaphor for his “kingdom” at its most basic), but also numerous realms scattered throughout Avalar, each serving as their own formerly independent municipalities until he enters the picture. 

Now here’s another point: even with Spyro around, Ripto still feels the need to settle in Avalar because there are no dragons around other than Spyro himself currently present to scare him away, which thereby gives him access to a shipload of land and resources. When it came to real-life empires, they were strategic regarding which areas to conquer. For example, the Roman Empire wouldn’t go east into modern-day Germany because the cost of conquest in that area was far above the monetary worth earned from the extractable resources available in that region (The Daily Reckoning). 

Moving on, the western half eventually collapsed primarily due to internal conflicts over power that left them exposed to outsiders (The eastern half, dubbed “The Byzantine Empire,” managed to survive until 1453, when it fell to Turkish invaders as a result of their victory in the Byzantine-Ottoman wars). In-game, the biggest reason Ripto is defeated is because he overlooks the possibility of Spyro collecting Avalar’s sacred talismans and orbs, which collectively allow the young dragon to pass through the barriers that separate both parties.

  Spyro: Year of The Dragon: Totalitarian State (Right)

 Jumping ship to the final third of the original Spyro trilogy, we now examine the Forgotten Realms and its central government in the form of the despotic, blue crocodilian-esque Sorceress. Now the previous two games sugarcoated their subject matter immensely (Though the second game still views the concept of an empire as a detrimental idea), but this time the game doesn’t make things look as rosy. First and foremost, The Sorceress displays a position of superiority around anyone in her vicinity, and in an overly aggressive manner most of the time. Already, we’re seeing her being established as a straw tyrant; alas, there is still so much more to discuss regarding the Forgotten Realms operating as a political body that blatantly abides by the guidelines of totalitarianism. Now where do we begin on this topic?

My first point of conversation in this segment is that unlike Gnasty Gnorc or Ripto in the previous two games (Now although the latter does become “ruler” near the end of his respective game, he doesn’t spend nearly enough time to be officially considered a grand-high patriarch by any of the residents of Avalar), The Sorceress is a formally-recognized monarch, is referred to as such by the inhabitants of the Forgotten Realms, and to make matters much worse, has been ruling this same exact dimension, in the same throne for AT LEAST 1000 YEARS. Not only that, but at one point, the dragons currently living dwelling in the Dragon Realms once lived in the Forgotten Realms. But when they left, they took their magic with them and as the centuries passed, magic began to drain and caused their fancy-schmancy portals to stop working. We’re convinced to think that the reason The Sorceress has become so wary of Spyro’s presence is because he will disrupt her plans to gather the eggs they had stolen from the dragons; she is supposedly gathering them in order allow this upcoming generation of winged reptiles to bring magic back to the dimension she rules over.

I will bring up that part about the dragons and the eggs again, but there is an important detail that points further to establishing The Sorceress as an antagonist known for taking full advantage of her position over everyone around her and therefore preventing anyone from reasoning with her other than Spyro and a slew of animal friends she had recently imprisoned. A little more than a quarter way into the game, Spyro finds himself in a realm known as Enchanted Towers; it is here that he discovers that a slew of lavender-skinned counterculture humanoids had been tasked with erecting a statue built in their highness’ likeness.

There’s just so much to talk about regarding what the statue situation represents, but first let me define what this government is. Totalitarianism is described as being, “a system of government that is centralized and dictatorial and requires complete subservience to the state.” The aforementioned statue in Enchanted Towers is probably one of the biggest pieces of evidence pointing to the Forgotten Realms operating under that kind of system. To start, the Sorceress displays unrivaled power in the world she inhabits and no one dare beg to differ with her on that matter. This is clearly evidenced by the fact that the citizens of Enchanted Towers mention that they certainly did not enjoy creating this tremendous work of art (Though they agree that it looks prettier than the actual character herself, further driving the sense of rebellion in), but they completely understand that going against what The Sorceress is telling them to do is like flirting with death.

You, the reader, have to realize that this is a form of government where there isn’t a legislative or judicial system to limit executive power. Heck, that’s not even getting into the fact that the denizens of the Forgotten Realms have neither a right to free speech nor the freedom to vote in elections, as far I’m aware. It’s certainly no fun living in a society where one person holds all the social and political power and you’re not that one person, nothing delightful about that (And there’s nothing anyone can do to change the fact unless someone successfully uses force to overthrow the one in power so they wouldn’t be able to enforce their laws any longer).

Before getting to the climax of this essay, it’s that time I bring up a real example. Although I’d be talking about a dictatorship along the lines of Nazi Germany, I’ve decided to take a more interesting example from further back in history. The Qin Dynasty, an empire to which China borrows its name from, relied on an authoritarian set of regulations that would become hugely influential to every Chinese-based dynasty that followed. Although it only lasted from 221 to 207 BC, there’s still some valuable information to extract from this chapter of human history. It also makes sense for me to select this example because the game’s title, Year of The Dragon, references a specific birth year on the Chinese Zodiac (Speaking of which, the year the game itself originally released just happened to land on a dragon year, which only happens once every twelve years).

Now allow me to continue with the example. Under the commissioning of Emperor Qin Shi Huang, the very first leader of a unified China, came a standardized system of writing and a strictly-guided formula for measuring the width, weight, and length of highways. Huang also oversaw construction of what would become the first section of The Great Wall of China and eventually went on to abolish the feudal system that flourished during the Zhou Dynasty decades earlier (In which landowners owed allegiance to the emperor as a result of kinship rather than fulfilling legal obligations). In addition, he commissioned the burning of almost all of the books currently available in that region at the time, only sparing those that provided information on topics like medicine and issued gigantic tax levies in an effort to pay for his military and construction expenses. This matrix of catastrophes led to a rebellion following Qin Shi Huang’s death in 210 BC, which went on to ultimately knock the Qin Dynasty out of power and make room for the Han Dynasty roughly 3-4 years later (Britannica).

Now what I’ll be explaining next is going to be extremely horrifying in hindsight, so grab your popcorn and hold your breath. While exploring Evening Lake, the third home world of the game, Spyro’s close friend Hunter winds up in a subterranean trap set up by The Sorceress that was meant for Spyro himself to prevent him from collecting any more of the dragon eggs that she desperately wanted to remain untouched. He is then approached by her servant, a magician-in-training named Bianca (To whom he has a developed a liking for over the course of the synopsis), who comes to tell the caged cheetah that the reason the dragons left so many years ago was because it had to do with their wonderful wings. As they began to realize that the obese blue saurian autocrat wanted to clip them off to give her immortality, they had no choice but to find solace in another reality. Linking this information to Spyro 1, we can now go back to viewing the example of confederation as the United States during the era of the Articles of Confederation, trying to recuperate from their religious tension with the monarchy of England and emigrating from there before ultimately deciding to settle in North America and establish a self-governed nation over the course of several decades. In the Spyro continuity, the dragons succeeded in building an autonomous series of societies in the then-vacant Dragon Realms following their disastrous affair with The Sorceress, where they then proceeded to push aside Gnasty Gnorc to the wastelands at some point later in time so they would have enough room to properly establish their footing in this uncharted land.

But sadly, that is not the end of the suspense; when Bianca returns to her master’s throne room, she discovers a dreadful truth she hadn’t been aware of until now. Ever since her henchmen brought the yet-to-hatch eggs back from the Dragon Worlds, The Sorceress hoarded them not because she wanted them to return their magic to the Forgotten Realms once they did hatch, but because she wanted to KILL THEM FOR THEIR WINGS LIKE SHE ATTEMPTED TO DO WITH THE ADULT DRAGONS BEFORE THEY LEFT. What she’s basically telling us is that she plans on committing an act of GENOCIDE ON AN ENTIRE GENERATION OF NEWBORNS in a similar manner to how Hitler promoted the large-scale massacre on an enormous number of Jews during the Holocaust.

With not a pinch of sympathy for anyone but herself by this point, the malevolent indigo monarch has become nothing short of a filthy caricature for the horrors of tyranny and dictatorship. By the way, she didn’t have to kill the newborns at all for that to happen, she just felt the need to do so JUST BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T WANT TO SEE THEM SQUIRMING AROUND IN HER QUARTERS. Prompting a drastic change of heart, Bianca decides to cease working for her master, opting to rescue Hunter from the trap her former supervisor had set up in Evening Lake. Fed up with the treason her lackey recently committed, The Sorceress decides to create an absurdly powerful, bat-winged monster intended to annihilate practically everyone in her opposition (Simply put, that means almost the entire population of the world she governs, plus Spyro and some of the friends he bought along).

Even though Spyro manages to eradicate The Sorceress for good, (Much to the satisfaction of the Forgotten Realms inhabitants) the atrocious myriad of actions she takes during that one game position her as an antagonist who is regarded as a dark villain for a normally light-hearted sugar bowl series like Spyro, thereby leaving an indelible mark on the narrative of that franchise’s continuity. Serving as a harsh critique for the concept of autocracy and its consequences on the people, Spyro: Year of The Dragon uses a surprisingly pathos-inducing series of events that favors a call to action for executive reform, appealing to the wants and needs of the governed rather than the desires and aspirations of the government itself.

  Sources:

 Kirby Super Star: https://www.reddit.com/r/FanTheories/comments/39dbqi/kirby_super_star_is_a_marxist_critique_of_the/

 Confederacy: https://www.reference.com/government-politics/examples-confederate-government-230a5f967d7f24fa

 Empire: https://dailyreckoning.com/how-empires-really-work/

 Totalitarian State: https://www.britannica.com/topic/Qin-dynasty

https://www.reference.com/history/feudalism-ancient-china-8ddd0bf737a29fc5

[themangaguide]

That regret being falling

Suitable Manga to Review

Maybe you all detest it a lot, plus it's mosting likely to stay so cherished, but no one ever describes why it's good? For me, that is fate controlling, which was adapted into animation, offering me a reason to re-review it.

Face framework and the lips do look a little bit more human than typical it is disrupting to view and comes under the uncanny valley. The paneling is godawful, although the manga has actually described art. There isn't any flow or structure to activities, along with the literal panel space is even off, which is this type of apparent facet of a manga that you would certainly require to attempt to fuck it up. The histories are limited as well as typically not even existing, making the whole thing feel careless and also empty. Nevertheless, a lot was added by the directing in the anime to the very first tale, including a little nuance to personalities with motions as well as such, and also providing a coat of melancholy to all. It advises me of an additional program just recently that made use of guiding that is wonderful to bring a source that is uninspired to life: Re-Zero.

The characters in fate controlling absence any characteristic as well as are hollow. Teen Batman has no personality traits other than those that my nickname that is sophomoric explains. Every other character acts as a plot gadget to guarantee the audience knows that Naho is nice or to advance the narrative as well as Kakeru is the best. Having rather finished Legend expanded the actors of over 70 characters, to its 2 protagonists is unsatisfactory reviewing something with such little treatment.

The dialogue in the manga for fate controlling is required, seeming like it's trying to make clear a quote wherefore requires to take place in a phase, as opposed to being a real authentic conversation and dronish. The anime has an extra natural feeling to the dialogue, making it less complicated to watch.

manga online, instead of solid characters drive completely fate controlling, ambience or anything dumb like that. It exists to show drama, in addition to is to see the following factor of over the leading dramatization. Is dramatization of continuing to enjoy the series, the only driving force, however it's also developed to make conflict to solve. Hide essential info from each other to make everything for them.

The last end result of fate controlling rushed and is anticlimactic. It handles to make me hate the entire bundle greater than I did, which impresses me.

The complying with paragraph is a massive looter. The series is shed. Nonetheless, because of trying to repair a regret, that regret being falling short to conserve him since he was conserved by them, the series ends up contradicting itself. Evocative Steins; Gate -face turn, rather than thematic incoherence.

I caught up right into its run regarding the current chapters on fate controlling, and also after 3 years of shitty artwork and also theatrical emptiness, it wrapped up. After defining my hatred for it, I created an awful, rambling, inadequately created testimonial. The anime started airing, and also I would certainly wish no person would certainly tell me whatever they like concerning it, as well as the anime would be excellent and that I 'd be verified wrong. While the manga was not better in connection with the anime, it failed to be acceptable as a piece of job. As well as I have yet to be explained what value are offered below, besides the small few favorable factors I've pointed out here. So, If you like checking out manga a lot, then offer this story a go. For other related details, you could also visit https://sorelldifilippout1.wixsite.com/allabouthealth/post/jws7o0buzci9rmaafswx1640691744

[dxmedstudent]

1☁ hi, its okay if you dont want to answer this, i just need a bit of advice. im a sophomore in high school and ive been having trouble talking with my parents for about 4 yrs (while we took care of my grandpa & when he died). i know that they are stressed out but they continuously criticize, interrupt, ignore, and consider my ideas last (even if they know its correct) when i have asked them to listen multiple times. i lashed out at them recently bc im tired of this and all my brother does...

2☁ ...(hes the most 'neutral' about the situation) is tell me to calm down and be quiet. ive tried keeping all my ideas to myself and only express them to certain people, but i can only keep it in for so long. they have high stress jobs but they only complain (they basically have a baby boomer's mindset). im really frustrated and i want to move out, but for the last two years of high school, what can i do? thanks for listening.:( I’m sorry to hear it’s not been going well for you. It sounds like a really tough situation. It sounds like your parents have gone through a tough time, and perhaps aren’t coping very well with the stress that they deal with, but that doesn’t excuse things like ignoring or criticising you. I can’t condone their actions the way you’ve described them, but I can understand that your options for how to deal with your parents can be limited by lots of things in your life and there may be no easy answer for you. It’s not your fault that they choose to react a certain way, an it’s OK if you only have certain options in terms of how you can react and find yourself angry at that. It’s not your fault. And it won’t always be this way; like you’ve said yourself, you’ll be able to move out in a couple of years, and then you’ll have to deal with things like this a lot less often. It’s really difficult to say what can be done differently; it’s hard to change other people’s behaviour. Sometimes, it helps to write down a list of why it makes you feel bad, and approach that person about it at a time when things are neutral and they might be open to speaking about it. People can get defensive if you criticise them, but depending on how you phrase or put across your issues, you can sometimes explain to them that even if they hadn’t intended to hurt your feelings, the way that they are treating you has done so. Sometimes this can make people realise how their actions affect others, so it can sometimes make a difference. But it depends a lot on the person in question; and you will know your own parents much better than I do. So I know that you’ll have a better idea of whether this is an option for you. But not everyone is receptive to talks like that. In which case things are more difficult for you. You might try to talk to them (not about your ‘ideas’, but specifically about how they talk to you, or how they deal wiht your ideas. You can’t talk about everything at once, so it’s important to focus on one thing at a time if you want to have a conversation about it. If you talk to them and find that they aren’t receptive or get offended or just don’t understand (or they end up being insulting) then you might need a break from talking to them about that issue. I used to get into regular arguments with some of my family friends about... things. In the end, their less than progressive views certainly didn’t convert me, but I decided that trying to reason with them wasn’t teaching them anything, and although it wasn’t soul destroying for me, it wasn’t really positive. So after a while I decided to avoid that if possible, and focus my energies on people I could actually have a discussion with. It didn’t make it easy to hear their views (and yes, I’d still make my opinions known), but it made me remember that sometimes my aim wasn’t to Debate All The Points, but just to Live Today Without Letting Them Ruin My Day. So perhaps it’d help you to seek out friends your age that you can be yourself with, and people you can discuss the things on your mind with. Because even if things are difficult at home, it’ll give you hope, and an outlet for your ideas and frustrations. I’d recommend keeping a diary; I think during some points of my life, I only wrote in mine when I was mad, because that was the only time I really needed to get my thoughts out and just express something, whether it was a polite thing to express or not. If you’re worried about how what you’re expressing will be received, keeping a diary might help you process your feelings and ideas without causing friction with others. It’s hard to tell eactly what you and your family are arguing about. You mention ‘ideas’ , but I don’t know whether it means ideas as in ‘we should do this as a family’ or ideas like ‘gay people deserve love and attention and homophobia is wrong’. I don’t think that changes my advice, but it might affect how much your parents are willing to listen; sometimes people are very stubborn about prejudices and these things are usually the slowest to change. Your brother sounds like he knows that your parents aren’t right, but he’s just tired of the situations and trying to get by as best as he can; it probably doesn’t feel supportive to you but it sounds like he’s trying to cope as best as he can; sometimes people’s ways of dealing with interpersonal issues like this is to try to avoid conflict by keeping things smooth. Ultimately, it doesn’t solve unhealthy conflict (criticism, ignoring, etc), but it might sometimes just make it easier to get by. In the longterm, things are easier when you get the chance to move out and carve a place of your own. In the meantime, it sounds like you need to focus on doing whatever you can do to minimise your own stress. I hope this helps, I wish you good luck, and I hope things get better soon for you.