#a film critic! this movie is bad

[thezangoosler]

viewing the fnaf movie as just a movie doesn't work. you're sabotaging yourself and taking away all the enjoyment from it if you don't think of it as the fnaf movie. if i look at it as just a movie, then yeah, i totally get what the critics are saying. it's so far from the lore of the original games (but since when has that not been a problem in the franchise lmao), the killer doesn't really have a clear motivation, and the ending does kind of come out of nowhere. but if i think of it as the fnaf movie i can actually love it. yes, it's far from the original lore. that's just how fnaf goes. yes, it is a glorified two hour lore dump. but could we want anything more from fnaf? it's literally infamous for the lore. sure, springtrap does kind of come out of nowhere. but the joy and whimsy experienced when he does show up is fucking amazing, actually. i don't care if it's a bad movie. it's the best viewing experience i've had in 2023.

[patrickzvveig]

I think saying Saltburn is simply "homoerotic" really erases the obvious queerness of it. Like, okay. Homoeroticism is definitely related to but also distinctly separate from queerness. It's like saying The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999) is not queer because Tom doesn't kiss Dickie, or even Peter for that matter. Like no, the whole film is literally about the obsession and heartbreak of queer desire. I'd argue Saltburn does literally the same thing, though not to the same level of success or nuance (and this isn't shade, I love this movie even if I don't think it's, like, good). But to imply that Oliver and Felix are just best friends with an intensely close relationship is ignoring literally everything about the film. Like Oliver is pretty clearly infatuated, aroused by, and in love with Felix, in the same way Tom Ripley is Dickie. Like this is not even subtext, it is the text of the film. He licks a bathtub filled with semen-water and puts his penis in the dirt of Felix's grave. And while those things are certainly not as interesting, or even disturbing (!!!) as Tom killing Dickie and holding his lifeless body (and making Dickie hold him back) but there's no "heterosexual" way to read this. And I'm not saying that this is necessarily good, or that you have to like it, or that you cannot be disinterested in the way Saltburn handles queerness, but it is textually queerness. It is not just homoeroticism. There is textual desire.

[heavensmortuary]

honestly I think the best thing I've done to gain confidence to Simply Make Things is to watch really awful movies no one likes because if you watch enough of them you'll find pinpricks of beauty in really shitty b-rated stuff. you will unlock a new appreciation and joy for things I promise

[mintedwitcher]

Sometimes I think that the notable decline of media literacy must be a mistake, or an exaggeration... and then I remember that someone said that The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies film is badly written because "Thorin would never threaten to kill Dwalin, this is so out of character."

As if that's not the exact fucking point.

[climbdraws]

I love watching youtubers who actually know what they're talking about vs people who just ramble their personal opinions

[never-forget-viva-la-pluto]

I like CinemaSins, sometimes it takes it too far and just starts shitting on movies, but like.. he makes a lot of good points about things in one shot being different in the next shot. Marvel Continuity Supervisor is a job that makes more money than anyone I know personally.

He's right, your movie that costs 365 Million $$$ shouldn't have a scene where the iron man bots give a PSA to a small town in Eastern Europe in ENGLISH! The Anti hulk Iron man suit should have been in Ultron's control like the rest of the suites, AND once he beats the hulk(the avenger that Iron Man deems the strongest) he just decides to NOT USE IT for take down Ultron.

Again 365 MILLION dollars. Their script supervisors don't make a stupid amount of money($35/hour), but that's more money than anyone in my family has EVER made and they have Multiple working on each movie.

"This movie should have been called Avengers: Age of Wasted Resources", he is talking about the incorrect use of spare Tony's suits, But IM using it about how they wasted money on this movie.

People don't like cinemasins, but it's not like he criticizing little indie films, he's criticizing movies with multi millions in budget that should not be making nearly as many mistakes as they are.

[berenshand]

i want to say the wildest thing about wish is that disney fully funded and released a movie where the bad guy could basically be a metaphor for the disney company. but it's even wilder because they funded and released it as their celebratory 'we're 100 years old and we're soooo great' movie. and what's even wilder than that is that their 'we're 100 years old and we're so great movie', which features a bad guy who is basically a metaphor for their company, was a flop

[mangabacaxi]

i think its so funny when someone say they like a movie but can't defend it saying i like it but i know its bad i mean then you dont like it lmao ??

[sonknuxadow]

overall i think movie sonic being redesigned was a good decision but sometimes i wish they had never done it with how annoying people are about it with the constant spread of misinformation about how/why it happened + this attitude people have gotten from it thinking they can get anything they don't like in a movie or show or game changed if they complain on twitter enough regardless of what exactly they're wanting changed or how close the release date is or what company is making it or whatever

[kylejsugarman]

why......what is with this sudden insistence that all critics are evil and narrow-minded and hate fun just because they didn't give the mario movie 5 stars....."its supposed to be fun!!" "why can't u just relax and stop being snobby and enjoy a movie??" uh its a critic's job to analyze and be critical of a piece of media they watch, and it hurts no one to point out issues in a movie, even if it just a "fun" movie. the mario movie having a 53% on rotten tomatoes is not an attack on cinema. final destination 3 has a 43% on rotten tomatoes and i still manage to sleep at night

[communistkenobi]

I was talking with a friend about how snowpiercer is an awful movie if you go into it thinking that the train is a metaphor for capitalism but it’s a decently ok film if it’s just about some fucked up shit that happens on a train

[hollytanaka]

I just remembered that 1 of the 2 idiots who hijacked my post to say "I don't play any video games or watch any YouTube playthroughs but I still write tons of video game fanfics!"

...also literally said that Modern Warfare III was a shit game.

And it just occurred to me... how the fuck would you know?! You didn't play the game, you didn't watch any playthrough videos. How the fuck would you know if it's bad?? Because you watched a 5-minute IGN video?! Or because you heard it from us, the people who actually played the game, and decided to once again LARP as a gamer and echo/repeat what we say?

My point being: Y'all do realize it's the norm to have played a game before you shit on it, right? Just like you shouldn't be saying a book or movie is shit unless you've watched/read it? The Day Before is the exception because that game was literally a scam lol.

Ugh. Absolute dumbasses.

[drbatsponge]

I'm actually a guy who enjoys Batfleck and I think Ben Affleck did a fine job portraying the character, but I cannot deny how ridiculously flawed of an adaptation he is.

And I'm someone who legitimately understands what they were trying to do with him.

Like I get it, they were trying to show a Batman who had lost pretty much everything and had given up on his moral code.

But my initial problem with how this is portrayed is that the Martha scene, which is one of the most hotly debated scenes in all of DC movie history, could've fucking worked if Snyder didn't have Batman maul a bunch of guys after it.

Like that was your turning point there, that's where Batman realizes he's just like the guy who gunned down his parents and you screw it all up by still having him do psycho kills in the warehouse scene. 💀

[crownedwille]

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[fellhellion]

men will never fail to review perfect blue and not interogate how integral misogyny is to understanding the film's critique of idealisation (and by extension, idol culture for women specifically)

[imstuckintoomanyfandoms]

i love objectively bad movies so much. when a movie has less than 60% on rotten tomatoes i know im about to EAT THAT UP. i will tell everyone its the best movie ive seen, without hesitation, without any critical thinking in the slightest. i am nothing if not a horrible movie enjoyer. straight to DVD? bro straight to my heart.