#a lady is so good but theres no space on the list :(

[amara-laz]

🎶✨when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (positivity is cool)🎶✨

Aww why thank you :') I like you too /p

1. Ruler of Everything - Tally Hall

2. Away From The Rain - Chamber Chu

3. Murders - Miracle Musical

4. Dream Sweet in Sea Major - Miracle Musical

5. Fate of the Stars - Tally Hall

[cardicoven]

hi!! could you share any of your experiences interacting with persephone? or how has it felt to communicate with her? or even just fun anecdotes. ive given her an offering and im so happy to worship her... but god theres so little info or people talking about her!!!

Hey! So thanks for the lovely question, its great to hear that your reaching out to Persephone and are looking into worshipping her. I've been working with Persephone for around 3 years, giving weekly (often daily) offering and have maintained an altar space for her throughout that time. I say this not to boast or seem all knowing on the topic but to give some small context on my practice with her. Like many others my practice and worship of Persephone varies with the seasons, I feel her most strongly in Spring and Summer. During this time when light her candle I feel her presence, almost in that way when a Parent/Mentor/Guardian looks in your direction and you feel their eyes on you. When I leave offering during these months, I often experience feedback sometimes emotional, rarely I'll hear an affirmation, 'Thank you' or 'how thoughtful' kinda thing. When I call for her assistance in ritual I feel her behind me, sometimes guiding my hand, or I'll smell/taste something she advises for the ritual, only for the feeling to pass when I lay my hands on the herb/oil/item suggested. When it comes to divination she a dedicated card in my Tarot the 10 of Pentacles (which in my deck is the Pomegranate 10 of Crops, I use the Bottanical Deck link) and in my experience she's always happy to make it appear when she has something to say during Divination. In Autumn and Winter my experiences with her is very different, she feels distant, less patient, she's in the Underworld and has stuff to do. I don't feel her when I light my candles or leave small offerings. Only when I Invoke her and ask for her help in ritual do I feel her presence, its powerful, not stern per se but business esc, she's there to help and her time is not to be wasted. During this time I only invoke her when I really need her, most often in death work, or partially important banishings/protections and I always have a sizable offering at this time. That's not to say Persephone is not comforting or compassionate towards me in the colder months, her attention is elsewhere, and her responsibilities are with the dead.

That's all little heavy so here's a fun Anecdote. A few Years ago, myself and some witchy friends had a Party, there was plenty of drinking and debauchery (we were celebrating a friends bad break up). During a lull in the evening we pulled some cards and did some Tarot, nothing serious just good fun freaking out a few non-witchy friends, nevertheless Persephone had a word or two to share on the breakup, and while I don't remember much of it, it consisted of pointing out the Guys flaws and highlighting my friends strengths. After we put the cards away my friend asked how she should thank Persephone for her insight, I said leave her a wee offering, pour a shot out for her outside. My friend did so and said the following 'Thank for your wisdom Lady Pomegranate', before going back inside and passing out. I guess it's the thought that's counts.

Just gonna finish this off with a small list of recommended Reading since Anon is just starting out, and hopefully it might be useful. I'll link to Goodreads, but you should be able to find copies of these online somewhere if you try to. o Persephone's Pathway by Jennifer Heather: link : a wonderful exploration of Persephone from a modern pagan perspective but not without flaw. (my review) o Greek Religion by Walter Burkert: link : Currently making my way through this, it's academic and a heavy read but so far enlightening. o Old Stones, New Temples by Drew Campbell: link : an older book about Hellenic reconstructionism, reading it atm, so far its heavy but good. o Underworld Gods in Ancient Greek Religion by Ellie Mackin Roberts: link : On my reading list, 'This volume presents a case for how and why people in archaic and classical Greece worshipped Underworld gods.' o Hellenic Polytheism: Household Worship by LABRYS: link : I haven't got around to this yet but it's comes highly recommended. Hope this helps, and thanks again for the ask.

[pinnithin]

zyxx fans if youre starved for silly scifi content might i suggest the podcast Live and Let Fly; my listening experience is like being able to breathe air again after zyxx ended.

what it is: an actual play Starfinder podcast with an emphasis on roleplaying and character interaction, primarily a comedy interspersed with compelling drama. the cast is playing the Fly Free or Die adventure path from Paizo, following a crew of working class characters as they run errands for a corporate shipping company.

why zyxx fans would like it:

1. it’s good improv. theres a lot of yes-anding in this group. they feed off of each other’s energy extremely well with a good balance of silly and serious scenes. i laugh out loud frequently while listening to this series.

2. the cast has great chemistry. adam, zac, john, emily, josh, and heath have been close friends for a very long time and its very clear they’re having a good time together when they play. its really fun to listen to their dynamic as collaborative storytellers because they know how push each others buttons while respecting each others boundaries. the communication between all the players is a big factor in why the show has such a strong, solid narrative element. really talented group of comedians and storytellers.

3. the characters are varied and interesting. its a space drama, so you run into a lot of fun alien characters in this world, plus the crew itself is full of weirdos. the captain is an autistic space wolf. the mechanic is a sweet yet murderous bug lady. the pilot is a three foot tall rat guy with a gun. the list goes on. racial/gender/class differences aside, everyone is insane in a unique and opposing way, so character interactions are always fun.

4. heavy societal satire. the crew works for a faceless heartless corporate entity. no matter what they do they cant seem to catch a break. its a lot of similar tongue in cheek humor to what the crew of the bargarean jade goes through.

theres lots of other reasons why this show is good but i dont want to make this post ten miles long. give it a listen if it sounds up your alley. im a huge fan and its filling the scifi improv void in my heart ❤️

[tacittherapist]

Lalonde Live: Episode 2

Hello Paradox Space! I’m Rose Lalonde, and welcome to the second episode of Lalonde Live. On this show, we interview various Paradox Space denizens and ask them deep, provocative questions about various topics. By which I mean this is a convenient excuse to have people over and make conversation. Tonight’s guest: Jade Curie Harley! (@greensungnostic)

[There’s a raucous noise from a nearby band of salamanders and newts. They have no idea how to play the instruments they’ve been given.]

ROSE: How are you, Jade? How was the flight in? JADE: hi rose, miss radio lady! the flight in from across the ship went well, but boy are my arms tired!! heeheehee... ROSE: Haha, lovely as always, Miss Harley. So Jade, do you mind if I call you Jade? Jade, tell me, how long have you been voyaging on this magnificent ship here? JADE: jade is just fine! gosh, ummm... well, due to the nature of paradox space having some wobbly temporospatial elements, its hard to say exactly, but lets put it at... jeez, a bit over a decade! ROSE: Incredible, that takes some perseverance. Just how big is this ship, anyway? I'd wager smaller than a deluxe cruise liner, right? Perhaps a caravel class? Or a battleship? JADE: well, originally it was a carapacian-made battleship from prospit, though i actually upscaled it a good bit with my powers to make beautifying it easier and have more space to work with! ROSE: It does seem like something from a fantastical storybook -- not fantastic, mind you, fantastical. Now Jade, I've heard rumors that this ship's course has changed recently, is that true? JADE: i tried to give it a nice spacious fantastical feel where anyone can find a spot they find cozy :) JADE: oh! yes uhm, weve been searching for ages for the missing members of our session, so we can reunite with our friends, and it sounds like maybe we have finally found them...?? ROSE: Wow! That sounds like a reunion for the ages. Obviously I know -- you know -- both of us know -- we all know who those friends are, but could you list them for the folks back home? JADE: (rose, who exactly is our audience again here?) gosh uhm, theres a lot! our contact is with one karkat vantas, theres a strider who very well may be named dove, theres terezi pyrope and vriska serket, there... MIGHT? be a gamzee makara, and... uhm, theres kanaya maryam ROSE: An all-star cast! You must be excited to meet up with them, hm? JADE: of course! if i wasnt eager to see my friends again i would not have spent all this time looking for them all! ROSE: You know, after all this time it might be hard to remember some details so... mind regaling us with your fondest memory of each of them? JADE: gosh thats a long list of people, but i will try! where would you like me to start?? ROSE: Top to bottom's just fine. Karkat, D. Strider, Terezi, Vriska, (tentatively) Gamzee, and then Kanaya, please. JADE: hmm, well... karkat and i never got on the best, but it was always funny reading the crabby getting crabby and stumbling around over passwords while trying to avoid causal spoilers or temporal shenanigans! JADE: strider, we always used to goof around talking about the silliest things, and sometimes we would send each other music the other made to listen and remix them! but our whole base friend group did that, heheh JADE: terezi is a pest but i mean that affectionately! she liked to bug me and pick at me and the rest of us, but under all the menace i think she is good :) JADE: vriska is a butt who i am pretty sure caused me to have narcolepsy, but she could also he kind of cool sometimes! she didnt talk to me as much as others though... JADE: gamzee... uhm. can i pass on this one and just say that kanaya always seemed really nice and like i wanted to compare gardens with her and talk about space and art and things like that?? ROSE: Aha, that's quite a collection of memories! I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm sure excited to see what happens at this reunion. Maybe we'll get to see a bit of that famous Harley-Vantas bickering in the flesh? Now, are there any special considerations you've taken as you get closer and closer to their coordinates? JADE: well um... it sounds like they have been eating pretty poorly for a while and probably are super fed up with their current accommodations, so i made sure that plenty of food is ready for them, starting with simpler things to help them get used to proper stuff again, then more complex and nutritious things afterwards! also plenty of space to deck out for themselves, and... well, im ready to get either yelled at or hugged or whatever else as the case may be :x ROSE: A bit like waiting for your marks after a test, right? Aha, so. What's next for Jade Harley and her ship of dreams after the reunion? JADE: well, it will be a big step towards being able to work towards finally finishing sburb, though our journey is not over yet! there are still three people to collect at least, from our scratched counterpart timeline! and possibly a fourth! we have one at least, but we need the rest of our dancestors and some of their materials to be able to finish still! ROSE: Fascinating stuff. Who are those people, exactly? (For those of you at home, these are our counterparts made of a different combination of the same ectoslime that made us.) JADE: well we already have jane crocker! we revived her out of a dream bubble after things went south, but she would have to fill you in on the details! we are still missing dirk, who is doves sibling/parent/sibling/offspring, uhhh jake who is my kid grandpa and also my childhood penpal, and roxy who is your mom-daughter, love... im sure this wont get confusing! JADE: and i hear there is a chaaaance we might wind up picking up a cherub girl named callie? ive met versions of her, she is very nice :) ROSE: My my, care not to tease our poor audience back at home, dear! There are only so many names you can drop before this becomes a marketing ploy. ROSE: Now, this one might be a bit difficult, but: what has been your biggest challenge thus far? JADE: jeez thats.... a tough question, rose! uhm.... loneliness? worry that we might never find them, or that they didnt want to be found or wouldnt care anymore when we did or be mad that the original meeting didn't work right or that they were somehow just all gone.... ROSE: Wow... you heard it here first, my friends. Jade Curie Harley: part dog, part god... all human. Don't worry Jade, I know we'll be rooting for you, isn't that right Casey and the Crew?

[There's a mis-timed rimshot from the band.]

ROSE: Now, before we go, I have just one last question. Is there anything... you have to say to the folks at home and our lovely studio audience?

[She gestures to the rest of the living room, their assortment of Squiddles sitting on cushions facing them. There's a burp from the consorts nearby, and a random snare drum beat.]

JADE: uhhmm... lets see. remember to be kind to yourself and others, that there is always something worth fighting for, and most importantly.... awoooooooooooooooooooo!!! ROSE: Awwwoooooooooooooo!! Aha, thank you so much, Jade, for being here with us tonight. A big round of applause for her, everyone!

[gsasustainability]

Hayley Dawson, Master of Letters in Art Writing

The Histories and Lives of Working-Class Glasgow

Winner 2024 Graduate GSA Sustainability Degree Show Prize

I have just completed the Art Writing MLitt, studying part time over the last two years. Throughout this time I have focused on what it means to be working-class in the creative sector, particularly within the Glasgow arts scene. I have written longer form pieces exploring my family’s history within the Glasgow area, as someone who still inhabits many of the same areas they did. I have also published written pieces in full Scots in an attempt to subvert the assumed notions of knowledge and power and how language is represented in spaces of academia. My practice documents my research and struggles to fit in as a working-class person in a predominantly middle-class art world, and the ways in which working-class culture and community helps me to process this divide.

I also work with sculpture; using ceramics, fabric and casting to explore and document the lives and experiences of the working-class and how objects feature heavily in our lives. I used ceramic wall hangings to explore Scots language and the need to preserve my own mother tongue. I have worked with the Agnes Owens Archive, a recently established archive of Owens’ life and work, who was critically underknown in her life time and is only now gaining recognition posthumously. I made a bust of Agnes as part of a two person show exploring her and Alasdair Gray’s work. The bust was my attempt to reclaim statues and busts, often reserved for important figures, for the working-class person. I also made a ceramic sculpture of a library as part of the exhibition. This spoke of the places working-class people feel comfortable in, as opposed to academia and other institutions. A lot of my work has discussed the discomfort that myself and other working-class people feel in places such as universities. The library functioned as one such physical embodiment of the topics I discuss in my writing.

Recently I have focused on looking at class through the lens of time and grief. My granda passed away during the course and I had already been making work about his career as a stereotyper within the wider scope of my family history. It felt cathartic to continue writing about him and to cement his legacy, which would otherwise perhaps only be known by his family and friends. To continue to expand the context of a cannon of other working-class people who are beginning to be acknowledged for their important contribution to arts, creativity and the wider world.

I would also like to share with you some of my writing.

A hopeless case

Yer a hopeless case (insert name here): This is whit maist Scottish working-class weans are telt fae almost as soon as they kin hawd their heeds up, or similar words tae this effect listed below -

Ye’ll never amount tae onythin Stick in an get good grades an ye’ll probably be awrite You’ll no be rich or famous, dinny be sae stupit University’s no fir the likes ae us We’re working-class, we go tae work Dinnae haud yer breath Yer no pregnant or in the jail, so yer daein well Ye’ll need tae get a wee pert time joab if yer wantin tae buy yersel onythin I canny afford tae keep ye Yer no livin here rent free Who dae ye think ye urr We canny afford it Ye’ve tried tae get intae the uni wance, is that no enough Whit aboot just haein a wee faimilie an a man Its no much but its somethin It wis a gid enuf job fir me Ye’ve goat ideas above yir station lady Yi need tae earn yer keep Theres nae hope fir ye Am afraid ye don’t huv the right qualifications fur this joab Yer no exactly whit we’re lookin fur

Ye’ve goat great potential but Dinnae get ahead iv yersel Ye’ll be oot on yer arse if ye don’t get a joab quick smart How will ye pay yir bills Dae ye no jist wantae stay at hame Yer a waste of space Ya space cadet Yer tuned tae the moon Whit dae ye think this is, a hitel Ye work until ye drap Live tae work Go tae the heedies office Yer disturbin the rest ae the class thit wantae learn Qualifications areny everythin You dinnae need qualifications tae lift hings Have you no goat a brain in that heid ae yours Hawd yer wheesht Children should be seen an no heard Dinnae aim too high There wiz a mair experienced candidiate Ye’ll end up in the jeil Yi need tae stoap speakin scots if yi wantae get aheed Theres nae hope fir ye

GSA Showcase

[peaches-and-honey-and-the-moon]

I got some shit to talk and the only people I can talk to in real life are probably tired of me talking about this stuff so I'm ranting on here.

A little after we got baby girl, my sister in law bought a kitten from a lady off craigs list. The lady told sis in law that smoky was a super friendly and outgoing kitten, that smoky was wonderful around people and loved attention. Nearly a month into having smoky, and I can't help but feel like the lady lied her ass off to make 45 bucks. But also, sis in law kinda sucks at being a pet owner.

She immediately let her dog into her room where smoky was and was surprised when smoky freaked out. The dog, to be fair, is a super gentle and cat loving dog. But smoky had no previous experiences with dogs and after being taken to a new place was immediately put into the same room as a dog. So sis in law brought smoky to us. it was only supposed to be for a few days. It's been over a month.

Smoky is also not a cuddly cat. She prefers to sit near you and occasionally receive pets. She runs away if youre simply walking near her. And sis in law forced her to cuddle after she let her dog in. THen was surprised when smoky freaked the fuck out.

So now, we've been taking care of her for over a month with little to no help from sis in law. Sis in law just occasionally comes to give smoky a few treats and "try and bond" with her. But sis has said she's given up. She wanted to give her to us. We offered to pay for her because smoky has been thriving with us. But since sis in laws grandpa, whom she lives with and technically who paid for smoky, said if she gives us smoky (even if we pay for her) she cannot get another cat as long as he's alive/she lives with him. So now we're stuck in the stupid limbo where smoky is ours but not ours. We take care of her! We buy her food! We get all her necessities! But she's not ours. And She can't live with sis in law.

And honestly, I don't want smoky to live with her. Not just because I've grown attached and sis has given up on her. But also! Sis in law is not a great pet owner! No hate to her, she's only 20 and was never taught life skills or made to mature. But her last cat was never fixed, he was overweight, she rarely cleaned his litter box so he shit and pissed everywhere, and she's not a very clean person. She let her trailer get absolutely destroyed and never thinks to clean her current room.

Sure, she's getting better. I've been helping her learn how to be independent and a mature person when needed. But her living situation and way she cares for her pets appalls me. I don't want to give smoky back. I love smoky. I've grown so attached. Smoky is thriving with baby girl and my partner is her favorite person on earth. And when we move I want to take smoky with us. It would break my heart to have to give her back. I'm more then happy to give her 45$ to make smoky ours. I'm so fucking pissed about the situation.

WE take care of her. She's attached to US. She's attached to baby girl. Baby girl is attached to her. And i'm so worried about the quality of care sis in law will give her.

And don't get me wrong, sis in law loves animals, she just doesn't know how to care for them and she sees every misbehavior as a personal slight against her. If smoky were to go to the bathroom outside of the litter box because its filthy, everyone in the house would lose their shit. Not to mention brother in law is pretty allergic to cats and he also lives in the house. He loves smoky, but he barely cares for HIS dog.

And then theres the dogs themselves. One is good with cats, he gives them their space and loves on them if they let him. The other thinks personal space is fake and would more then likely injure smoky because he can be rough and has dominance issues. Neither dog is well trained and have issues. Neither sis nor brother in law take very good care of their respective dog. Brother in law typically expects sis in law to take care of his dog because he can't be bothered and his girlfriend is a sucky person and also dislikes dogs. Not to mention brother in laws girlfriend smokes a lot of weed and nurses her vape in the house. I don't want smoky around that. One of the dogs had to be rushed to the emergency vet just yesterday night due to the girlfriend flicking her weed waste out into the gravel and the dog eating it.

I could honestly go on a whole rant about brother in laws girlfriend. I don't like her at all. She's an awful person.

Actually, I'm gonna complain about the girlfriend too. She has a severe case of diabetes and plays guessing games with her insulin. On multiple occasions she has used her various health issues to manipulate everyone into giving her what she wants. She was supposed to move in with her grandma, look for a job, get her GED, and get her drivers license and actually take care of herself. She immediately moved onto the property, hasn't worked on anything she was supposed to, and constantly has a shitty attitude. She complains all the time and cries wolf every time someone tells her off. She actively stops brother in law from doing important things so he spends more time with her. If anyone is talking to brother in law she will repeatedly interrupt the conversation so he only pays attention to her. She gets money from her parents but refuses to spend it and forces everyone around her to pay for the things she wants.

She doesn't help around the property but complains all the time. Well, actually, she did the dishes once. So obviously she did her share and should never have to do anything else.

She's also a serial cheater and is already acting strange around brother in laws cousins husband.

She just sits and complains, does nothing to improve her life, but criticizes everyone else. Sister in law is working on learning how to be independent. She is working on her GED, she just got a pretty good job, and I'm helping her with several other things. Yes, she has a ways to go and a lot to learn. Her grandparents babied her and neglected to teach her any life skills. Sis in law sees that and has asked for my help to learn. The fucking girlfriend, instead of congratulating her told her she was too stupid to finish her GED. She said she would never amount to anything and was too stupid to live on her own. She said so many awful things. The girlfriend has done nothing but try to drag sis in law down and hurt her. Then, when someone calls the girlfriend out, she goes crying to spineless brother in law. AND THE FUCKER DEFENDS HER. He lets her get away with being an absolute asshole unless someone else tells him to get it together and maybe defend his little sister. But he doesn't think he could do better then a serial cheating, manipulative, asshole so he just lets her be an absolute dick to everyone.

She is also the only one who smokes weed on the property. Nobody else smokes weed. She goes out every 2 hours to smoke for 3 hours and just flicks her ash and stems out into the yard. So the whole property stinks of weed and the dogs have access to it. One dog nearly DIED yesterday because he "somehow" gained access to her weed. But she just has no clue how the dog got sick. It couldn't have possibly been connected to her. NOBODY ELSE SMOKES FUCKING WEED. IT LITERALLY COULD NOT HAVE BEEN ANYONE ELSES FAULT. oh, but she is the hero because she noticed when the dog started having a marijuana toxicity induced seizure. So even if it was her weed, she noticed the seizure first so everything is okay. HE WOULDN"T HAVE HAD A SEIZURE IF YOU DISPOSED OF YOUR SHIT PROPERLY.

She acts like she's the goddess damned messiah and everyone should bow down to her. She sits and wallows in self pity and bitterness and will drag everyone she can down with her. She treats everyone like shit and hasn't done shit the entire time she's lived her. She actively tears everyone around her down. I'm so tired of having to calm sis in law down because the girlfriend tore into her so bad she starts sobbing. But I have to be nice because we're renting from them and literally cannot move out. And until the girlfriend moved in, we were all making a lot of progress on so many projects. But now I have to play nice with her so i can keep a roof over our heads.

[kyosmommy]

Salted Caramel

MINORS DNI - DARK-ISH CONTENT

DILF List Colab

Contains: Fem!Reader x Bodyguard!Daichi, Film noir au, gunplay, nicknames (doll, love, darling, good girl, and hun), Public sex (backroom), praise, tity sucking both receiving, thigh riding, un protected penetrative sex, grinding of all types, smoking, strangers to lovers, both Daichi and Reader switch power dynamics multiple times, guest starring Detective Sugawara, the phrase “worthless dicks” but not towards anyone, at the end theres a little surprise about Daichis abilities

“This is your new job; no room for argument.”

You sit in the detective's office, your identity concealed behind the drawn blinds. As negotiations continue, smoke flows past your parted lips and swirls in the air, filling the space between you. Detective Sugawara hired you off the record to sweet-talk a lead in his investigation and get him to spill information he normally wouldn't. Men are weak after a few giggles and batting eyes; they stop using their heads and start using their worthless dicks.

You get up from the little leather seat and put your cigarette out on the tray. "Alright, alright, don't go snapping your cap. As long as you pay what was promised, I'm happy to assist. I’ll decide on any extra fees later. ” While adjusting the straps of his pistol holster, you give him a teasing wink. His coat hangs off the back of his chair and his hair is all disheveled and messy. He might just be the next on your Dilf hit list. A little love never hurts no one. But right now, you’re curious about the mystery man in the dark. “Don’t think I haven't noticed your little guard dog watching back there. Who's the stud?”

“That's Sawamura, an old friend of mine and your new bodyguard. You're essential to this case so I can't put you in any sort of danger. ” Daichi pushes off the wall, making his way closer to the desk. “He’s trained in several different defenses and surveillance tactics. He’ll keep you safe; you have my word.“

Finally you can get a decent look at him standing beneath the light. Warm facial features, like when his eyes crinkle in the corner when he smiles, give a certain sense of peace. Gray and brown streaks run across his hair. He ages like fine wine. His body, on the other hand, screams all kinds of danger, shoulders broad and stiff, ready for anything. “Are you doubting the lady's ability to protect herself, Kōshi?” His tone is lighthearted and teasing, the kind you'd use with a friend. His voice was rich but sugary, like salted caramel. You’d do anything just hear him speak sweet words to you. 

"The mayor normally goes to the same bar at the same time every night. You'll sit next to him and do your thing." Sugawara blatantly disregards the comment, clearly annoyed. "Pique his interest by laughing at his flat jokes and praising his politics. Feed into his ego a bit. Then ask him about the upcoming endorsement. I need to know where it's being held. That scumbag is up to something bad." 

He walks away from his desk to rummage through a metal filing cabinet. He pulls out two files, one from each drawer. One is new and slim. The other is exceedingly thick and worn, looks like it's been around a while.

“Alright I get she's getting paid but what’s in it for me?” Daichi asks. 

Stepping back, Sugawara throws the folders onto the desk in front of you. Both are labeled Daichi Sawamura. You reach to open the thicker one but only get a glimpse of a young Daichi’s mugshot before he slams his hand over it. He tenses ever so slightly.

“You get me not throwing you in jail. How about that?” Sugawara sends him a warning glare. 

“And a pretty lady to spend the night with? What a steal.” Daichi quickly recovers back into his teasing tone.

“Hands off her. I'm warning you, you lay a single hand on her that isn't to push her away from a moving car and I'm hauling your ass to a cold concret cell where your only sense of escape is your own hand. Am I clear?” He gives your new bodyguard a hard, questioning stare. Which he only returns with a smug smile.

“Crystal.” 

“Good. You have three hours before he gets to the bar. You’re going to wait outside until he gets there and go in after him. Stay close enough that it isn't obvious you're together.”

"Darling, this isn't my first rodeo; I know what I'm doing. No need to worry your pretty little head. I'll provide you with all the information you want and more." Your sweet words immediately soothe him. You’re sure of yourself and don't need anyone to tell you what to do.

“Good. Now go, get out and get this done. Good luck.” 

“Yes sir.” 

You both exit, leaving behind a very stressed detective. He knew pairing you two was a bad idea, but he was desperate and you’re the best option he has. 

A blanket of fog covers the streets, bright lights from stores and businesses cast off and give the night a sense of purpose. You continue down the sidewalk together in comfortable silence for a little bit

“How do you know the detective?” You ask, curious about the file you saw. 

"We've been friends since high school, but after we got to college, he went down the noble road, and let's just say I didn't. He always got me out of trouble, and I went to do it again. He warned me he'd lose his job as a cop if he continued to help me." Your heels clicking on the pavement and his shoes tapping on the little puddles seem to sync. "Don't blame me since I was a real jerk back then, but I eventually got him fired."

“Of course you did. That file looked like it could kill you with one hit.” He gives you a gruff chuckle. 

"Yes, but that didn't seem to stop him. He started his own detective agency and, if you ask me, he's doing pretty well. But, doll, I could ask you the same question? You don't work for the company, so how do you know him?"

“I guess he has a thing for criminals.”

You turn on the street where the bar is. You go for the alley way across the street to get a good view of the door. The mayor should be there soon. You both give a relieved sigh as you lean back against the facing walls. Again both of you laugh in sync. 

You take the chance to check out the man who’s supposed to be protecting you the rest of the night. Arms cross in front of his all too tight coat. His chest and biceps look like they’re going to burst through the fabric. Your mind fills with thoughts of running your nails across his broad chest, leaving red lines to mark him up. Tracing his muscles with your lips pausing to give his thighs extra attention. Your gaze stops at the front of his pants, noticing the slight bulge.

"If you don't want to get in trouble, I suggest you stop staring at me like that doll."

Your eyes trail back up his body to meet his eyes. “Is that a gun in your pocket?”

“I keep my gun in my coat." His eyes flicker with a certain playfulness that makes your blood run hot. “So what has little Ms. Perfect done to taint her record?” 

“I have a nasty habit of wanting what I can’t have, so I take it. Like your pretty watch.” You reach into your coat pocket to take out a cigarette, placing it between your lips. Your sleeves slide down to reveal his watch adorning your wrist. 

Pushing off the wall he leans in closer to you. He mirrors your confidence and reaches into his coat to hand you a lighter. Your silver lighter. “That’s pretty impressive darling.” 

He flicks it open and moves the flame closer to you, never breaking eye contact. Finally he lights your cigarette and blows out the flame, letting you feel his warm breath on your cheek. He reaches down to your coat pocket and slips the lighter inside, letting his hand rest on your hip.

You caress the side of his face with one hand and hold your cigarette in the other, bringing his face to yours, barely brushing his lips. 

“Open up handsome.” 

He wordlessly follows your instruction letting you kiss the smoke into his mouth. His grip tightens as he deepens the kiss, pulling your hips closer to him. He wants to feel you closer, he needs closer.

Your hand moves to his hair, pulling his head back to expose his neck. You give his ear a gentle bite making him hiss in pleasure. Kissing up his jaw and down his neck leaving him a groaning mess. 

Across the street a fancy black car pulls up to the bar. A man in a suit climbs out. He looks like the typical fat cat. Rich and an ego big enough for two. 

“Where’s my security huh?!” He yells for the whole city to hear.

In response, Daichi perks up and groans. He pulls away hesitantly and rests his head on yours to catch his breath. He lets go of your hip with one last squeeze. You give him a desperate look, pleading him to stay and forget the mission. You need him.

He steps back and pulls off his large coat to reveal a crisp black suit underneath. 

“The boss calls, I need to get to work. See you inside, doll.” He gives you one last wicked smile before jogging across the street. 

“Mr. Mayor over here! Sorry I’m late. I should have been here before you.” 

Of course, the ass has his own plan. Pretending to be the damn mayor's bodyguard to stay close to you. You quickly kill your cigarette and make yourself presentable, with a few finishing touches. You put on a more flattering shade of lipstick, undo a few buttons of your shirt, and open up your coat.

You quickly scan the bar for the mayor and his apparent 'security.' They're sitting on opposite sides of the curved high-top bar, almost facing each other if it weren't for the bartender in the way.

“The usual.” The mayor demands the bartender. He’s obviously used to getting what he wants, whenever he wants. 

The bartender starts preparing the drink and putting ice in it. The mayor ditched his coat and blazer, leaving only his button-down shirt on. You quickly glance towards Daichi to see he’s done the same but his sleeves were neatly rolled up. His forearms exposed for your hungry gaze. Tattoos littered what little is exposed, obviously hinting to a much larger piece on the rest of his arm. Your curiosity gets the better of you as you start to wonder how far down they go.

When did you sit next to the Mayor? 

“What’s today's special?” You ask the bartender to set up your innocent façade. 

“She’ll have something sweet and light.” The mayor perks up next to you at the opportunity to order for you. His voice gets darker the more he speaks. You fight to hold down the whole body shiver that threatens to rack through you. 

“Oh that sounds lovely. I don't come here too often.” 

“It’s alright dear.” He places his hand over yours. He felt so cold and cruel compared to Daichi. You’d rather be across the bar clinging to his arm, stealing sips from his drink. 

Minutes pass by as you warm up to the mayor. You humor him with fake laughs that seem genuine from an outside view but Daichi knew better. He knew you’d rather be with him, pulling his tie to get him impossibly closer. Hands roaming his body to grab on to whatever you can as he makes you his, claiming your pretty little cunt. His head began to hurt from how hard he was clenching his jaw. The drink basically shaking in his hand. 

“Oh Mr. Mayor, you're too kind! Tell me more about your campaign. You can’t trust the word on the street these days. What’s better than right from the source?” You give him a playful wink. Taking a quick sip from your drink you notice Daichi staring right at you. His eyes tell you exactly how he feels about your acting. He can see right through your bullshit. You ignore his jealous gaze and give your attention back to the mayor.

“Well I guess I can’t keep a lady waiting.” He goes on to tell you about where the next event is so you can meet him there and cheer him on. He has to be all kinds of stupid if he actually thinks you’re on his side. 

“Of course I'll be there. Maybe you could give me the V.I.P treatment while I'm there.” 

“We could always leave n-“ 

As Daichi slams his drink down across the bar, a man with similar colored clothes as the mayor walks in and rushes towards you. 

“They're asking for you outside sir! It’s about your upcoming campaign.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?! Now? I’ll handle this quickly. Don't go leaving now honey.” 

The mayor rushes towards the door with the other man. Daichi without a hesitation crosses the bar and grabs hold of your hand. He ignores your protests and questions about where you're going. He leads you through several doors of what looks like the backrooms of the bar. Finally finding the room he wants he rushes you inside and locks the door behind him, throwing his blazer on the desk behind you.  

“He’s so lucky his babysitter came to save him cause one more second of whatever the fuck that was and i would’ve lost it.” 

“I was doing my job. Yeah he’s gross but I got what we needed.” You search his face in the dark room for any sign of emotion. You flick on the desk lamp to find him furious. He wanted to be the one you were gushing about. He wanted to be the one answering all your questions with pride. “Are you jealous?” 

“Of him? Please.” 

“Yeah? Cause this says otherwise.” You place your hand on the tent forming in his pants. “This tells me you haven’t stopped thinking of me.” You trace his outline gently, moving up and down. He leans into you shivering. 

“Yes, I can't stop thinking about you.”

He was quick to move, grabbing your wrist again and pulling you towards an armchair in the office. Sitting down first, he holds you by the waist in front of him, just admiring you. He looks at you with big doe eyes, like you’re the prettiest thing in the world.

You grab hold of his shoulders and straddle his lap, giving his thighs an experimental squeeze. Laughing at your teasing demeanor he pulls you in for a kiss. You grind into his hardened dick, making him groan in response. Your lips make work of his neck, giving him slow soft kisses. 

“The second his hands touched you I wanted to go over there and pull you away.” His voice was strained and whiny. You roll your hips into him again this time adding a bite to his neck. He gasps, jerking his hips up.

“Yeah baby? I’m yours now, show me how much you want me. How much you need me.” 

He desperately paws at your shirt buttons, popping the last few open in annoyance. He places soft kisses on the exposed parts of your chest, stopping to nip at your collar bone. You continue grinding with soft open mouthed sighs. His nose traces your jawline as his hand sneaks behind you to unclasp your bra exposing you to his needy gaze. His shirt comes off next, your bare chests touching in a frenzy of desperation and want. You felt his hands touch every exposed part of your body and tug at what was left of your clothes.

“Off.” 

The simple command sent shivers down your spine. Quickly snatching the zipper down on your skirt he pushes your hand away before you could finish sliding it off your ass himself. His hands smooth over your thighs giving them soft squeezes. 

“Get my gun and lose the panties doll.” 

Another irresistible command. You sway your hips as you walk over to the desk, if he was going to make you wait then you were definitely going to tease. He leaned back into the chair spreading his thighs, watching each and every movement you made. 

Reaching into the pocket of his coat you pulled out his pistol. Engraved into the handle were the letters S.D. 

“Look. Don’t touch.” 

Giving commands of your own you began your little show. Feeling the cool metal of the gun against your skin makes you shiver, goosebumps erupting along your chest. You slowly trace the barrel of the gun across your tits. Moving it all the way down to your hips you catch the edge of your panties. You make contact with his heated gaze and hold it, never letting it waver. Slipping the gun into your panties you push them down your legs and carefully step out of them. You hold up the pretty piece of lingerie dangling off the end of the gun. You toss them in his direction which he catches. 

“You're soaking for me. All pretty and exposed.”

“I wish I could say the same.” You hummed, pressing the barrel of the gun to his hard-on. “Off.” 

You lifted your hand tapping his chin with the gun making him look up at you through his lashes. God he could cum on the spot. You had this commanding presence that made him crazy. Lifting his hips off the seat he slipped everything off. His dick resting on his stomach, small beads of pre dribbling down his length.

“Come here.” He reaches out for you. 

You lower yourself back into his lap, taking your nipple into his mouth before you could settle. He suckles at it using one hand to tug at the other, giving both well deserved attention. Entangling your hand in his silvering hair you pull him further into you letting him bite and twirl his tongue around your sensitive nipples. You felt yourself dripping on his lap. Shifting your legs you moved to straddle only one of his muscular thighs. You felt yourself hovering, feeling unsure if you should. 

“Use me all you need.” Were the only words you needed before you started grinding his thigh. 

Your lips crashed together, swallowing your pretty moans every time he flexed his thigh and your clit throbbed. Grabbing onto your ass he guided your hips at a faster pace, purposefully making slick noises with your arousal. He loved it messy. 

You pull away from the kiss trying to catch your breath only to gasp when he starts bouncing his thigh. Your mouth hangs open in uncontrollable pleasure.

“Not too loud love. Only I get to hear you.” 

He pulls you back in, giving your lip a small bite. You suckled at his tongue making his cock twitch against his stomach. He felt your mouth curve into a smile at his reaction. 

You felt the waves of heat and pleasure become stronger as you felt sweet release. “Don’t stop please”

“Don’t worry I got you.”

Finally pure ecstasy crashes through you. You claw at his chest trying to find some kind of grounding point, settling for his neck, you rest your forehead on his shoulder. He feels your shuddering breath and trembling body and a wave of pride washes over him. If he could make you feel this good without basically trying you couldn't even imagine what his tongue could do. 

“You ok?” He circles your back soothingly. 

“More than” He chuckles at your exasperated voice.

“Good cause I’m not done” He adjusts your position to his liking, now properly straddling his dick. 

He slides his tip through your pussy circling figure 8’s around your throbbing clit and entrance. He stops to tease your slit, feeling you clench around nothing. 

“Feel empty love?” 

“Yes, need you please!” 

Slowly he guides himself inside you groaning at your warmth. He grips your ass guiding you further down in shallow thrusts. Holding back the need to just slam you down on his cock and have you. 

“Good girl, that's it. Just a little more.” You shiver at his praise. “Oh? You like being called a good girl don’t you? I can feel you squeeze me baby” 

“Please, you feel so good” 

You bounce gently encouraging him to start moving and pound into you. But he ignores your implication, laying back once again to watch you.

You lift your hips leaving only his head inside you, you tighten around him relishing in the way he moans. Reaching between your bodies you grab hold of him and stroke. You drag only his tip in and out of your slit in time with your hand. He gives a pained whimper at your tease.

He grabs hold of your hips trying to push into your warmth again, craving the feeling from earlier. You give a sound of disapproval.

“If you’re going to tease and expect me to do all the work then you take what I give you.” 

“Yes ma’am” His voice is both teasing and desperate. 

You take his perk nipple into your mouth, grinding down to take him all at once. He throws his head back in pure ecstasy. He tries to match your pace, rocking his hips into you. 

“Please let me fuck you please”

He sounds so desperate to please you. Poor baby. You grab hold of his wrists and guide his hands to your hips. 

“Your turn”

Placing a soft kiss on your chest he sets a fast pace. 

“You tease too much doll” 

His fingers dig into your hips pulling whines and moans from you. Waves of pleasure build through your body as you cling to him, fingers tangled in his hair. 

“Don't stop, I'm so close please!” 

“No way in hell am I stopping baby, feel s’good.” 

Both of you cling and gasp in a desperate mess, lost in pleasure. Your orgasm washes over you in a haze, he follows you shortly after. His breaths fans your nose, foreheads pressed together as you come down from your highs.

“I think you can officially check me off your list doll.”

Taglist: @waka-chan-out @exaltedvalkyrie @cirigiri

[bookwyrminspiration]

Response to an ask from Ophelia:

(this is the out of context paracosm one!)

Ophelia!! Hello!! I'm so glad you're feeling a little better. I meant to remind you on the last ask to drink fluids and rest, to take care of yourself in general. But better late than never, I suppose. And of course, you're not annoying me at all so there's no need to apologize

And I don't think it's an annoying idea either! Actually kudos to you for having a list of things, even if it is incoherent. All my information exists solely in my brain...actually wait I think I drew one iteration of one of the main characters in my own paracosm. Oh! It's actually still posted on instagram, wow (this one. the character has changed a lot since then and has a bunch of tattoos/scars, but didn't at the time so they're not in that drawing)

(and no problem with cutting things out! it's completely understandable, and I just want you to be comfortable <33 and also I'm putting it under a cut for space!)

that being said...I am so curious about these out of context quotes oh my. once again i'm kinda just spewing out questions in response you don't actually have to answer them tho!

if he's not a ventriloquist then what could be possibly be!! how did he get mistaken for a ventriloquist. is he lying to people about being a ventriloquist because that's an impressive thing to fake

vampires, you say? my interest has been piqued. I'm totally normal about them (no I'm not). okay but like what iteration of vampires are we talking here. do they crawl around with considerable speed quite like a lizard (dracula)? do they sparkle in the sunlight and angst over their monstrous nature (twilight, but specifically edward)? do they pass for human and go out in the sun but need to mix their diet with human food and blood while being extremely flammable (i've forgotten the specifics but that's what I remember from the simon snow trilogy)? Like I said, I'm very normal about vampires

oo there's employment in this world of yours...is that within or outside The Shell? does The Shell have jobs? What does a person do with their time when inside it? but that poor tired employee..,

are they...a fake person? not a real person sounds like a warning label, like the "not meant for human consumption" kind of thing or "not safe for children" so my brain is interpreting this as a warning

and they're right to be scared! staircases will get you. honestly the ones that get people the most are the smallest. in my house theres a slightly raised section of the floor right in front of the door like a platform that requires a single step up and down, and visitors trip over it all. the. time. which isn't great when the majority of people who visit your house are old

rice cakes! I don't think I've actually had a rice cake before now that I think about it. wait maybe I have. okay looked it up I have not eaten the puffed rice cakes, but i have had the other ones. google is just calling them asian rice cakes

I think she deserves to fight 100% of the time. I don't know her but like that number is close enough to 100 that it seems only reasonably to bump it up. what does she want the other 10 percent? is this a situation where she's loving the other 10 or where it's not a want to fight but a want to murder and it adds up to 100% violence

wait you're so right frozen grapes are so good. like the variety of different consistencies...so fun. also great when your grapes are no longer taut and are instead slightly squishy, which is unsatisfactory. just freeze them and no more squish!

robot-clown-lady. I. who? I am so curious. who is this lady and what is the proportion of each of those three parts. is she more robot than clown? more clown than lady? or is she a lady who happens to be slightly the other two. also for some reason the first mental image I got was of Circus Baby, which is probably not what you intended

ah yes, anxious anger, the very shaky and orange (I think?) emotion. feel that one a lot

froggy raincoat!! I didn't have a raincoat, but I used to have a froggy umbrella!! like the ones with the eyes sticking up. let me find a picture. like this!! my sister had a ladybug

my immediate response to hearing a thing called useless was defense of said thing. i know nothing about them but my compassion for inanimate things holds no bounds i will love and cherish these useless things he's made if no one else will

shout out to left-handed people, the world truly is against you. i wonder how effectively I could teach myself to learn to use my left hand to write. I mean writing is just a skill. I once saw a youtube channel entirely dedicated to this guy learning to write with his left hand, but I don't remember what the channel name was

and they're right to do so! I will also freeze any fruit for consumption. fruit is just so *screams* /pos.

I respect the froggy raincoat. I love the froggy raincoat. I'd do anything for the froggy raincoat. I have absolutely no need for a raincoat as I live in a desert in the mountains, but if I had a raincoat I'd want it to be a froggy one. or a dragon. both are good I'll just wear two

(ignore this paragraph break tumblr is telling me I'm talking too much so I have to break it up)

very valid of the computer-program-equivalent thing that doesn't have preferred pronouns. I'm curious whether that's because all pronouns works or if it doesn't have any. pronounless...beautiful

who what when where why and how can her head turn 360 degrees. what owl sorcery is this and how can I replicate it in my bedroom. makes me think of the bird species whose name I can't remember (rostrae?) from the Magonia duology by Maria Dahvana Headley. I didn't actually understand their biology at all based on the descriptions but I'm going to pretend like I did !!

oh I love characters like that! immediately like oh no. they just have such a strong presence it overwhelms you. I met someone one who based on the single first thing they said to me I went "oh shit" /pos you're intense. turns out it was a fluke and they're actually very goofy like many of the other people in my life (cough, my partner's family, cough), but before I figured that out they had a presence. but congrats to this character for being a good brother!

why don't the drinks provide hydration wait. what's going on here. is that because they're drinking super sugary/fatty things or are there magic drinks in The Shell that don't actually quench your thirst. has this character heard of water. they should try some

AGAS (Assigned gamer at Shell). good for them. I hope they enjoy their gamer days or whatever else is going on (idk what's happening I don't have context). but wait what kind of gamer. a video gamer? what kind of games? a board gamer? how does this character feel about puzzles

okay wait I love the shooting star comparison, a rapidly moving entity of destruction. is there also something in there about being beautiful from afar but deadly close up? because I think that'd also be cool. shooting stars in general are just cool. and since I mentioned magonia earlier now I'm reminded of this detail in the series where some shooting stars are actually just magonians sending messages to each other by tying them to an arrow and shooting them from ship to ship across the skyv(the ships are in the sky)

sometimes your immune system just doesn't work anymore and that's just how it is. I could make a joke here about yours failing you and letting you get sick but I don't know how to word that so I'm moving on.

electricity!! congratulations to this world on having electricity, doing better than the world i was reading about yesterday...in which it both did and didn't because it occupied two different times. main character was an elderly woman who did have access to electricity talking about a part of her life when she was young in which there wasn't. but mostly my thoughts rn are ooo more details about the world: they have electricity !!

This was positively delightful! not annoying in the slightest, I love learning about this world and about the paracosm as a whole.

I'm doing alright, doing schoolwork in the mornings and chilling the rest of the day (reading, writing, tumblr, things like that). And the car thing is mostly just like "really? I still have to deal with this?" because there is so much where it's like...I very clearly was not at fault in this situation. The police statement puts the other driver at 100% fault! My insurance puts the other driver at 100% fault! The statements the other driver gave are different; one mentions a motorcycle distracting her and the other she doesn't mention at all and claims she had a green arrow--which she couldn't have had, because I had the green. Like she's contradicting herself!! It's like my guy. why is this still being dragged out. thank you for the thumbs up tho <333

also yes!! smoothies!! Oh emotionally I am picking fresh fruit from some garden to put in the smoothies. I love fruit it's so good, and I also love you!! /p I hope you have/had a nice day as well

[wetalkedaboutthisshinji]

More Jojolion Long ass texts

TOTAL SPOLERS TO THE LAST CHAPTER

I just have lots of thoughts about recent Jojolion revelations.

It took me a while but I think I´m finally at peace with the fact that the Calamity Arc was 90% sure the climactic Jojolion arc and that Tooru is Part 8´s entrance to the Jojo Big Bad Gallery TM, a supervillain group truly on the level of the Disney Villains. I´m only half joking lol.

It hurts bc I was (and still am) a strong believer on Big Bad Kaato. I LOVED the idea of a female Big Bad, especially one that gray and I was very curious about seeing her stand in a Stand Battle.I love evil ladies and that blinded me  I don´t even think Araki chickened out or anything, but that Big Bad Kaato clearly was never the idea for the story he had. Still, Kaato´s scenes, while too short, were damm cool, and Space Truckin´is a damm cool stand, but I still wish we had seen it more. I wonder if it could be used offensively? It at least can trap people from a distance, which is very useful. Im so angry bc its power was sooooo good for some JJBA weird moves, but alas.

One thing I love about Jojolion is that it completely goes against the normal tropes of a shonen/seinen battle manga in that most of the characters are just....people. It really is a Twin Peaks TM plot with more fighting. With the exception of the Rock Humans and Jousuke most of the characters are, like, some guy from town, at worst kinda shady and mean. We have housewives, a model, a divorcee, local businessowners, some doctors and an oddly viscious agriculture university student. Of couse Part 4, which Jojolion mirrors, had some of that, but IMO you really get more of a sense of normalcy on Jojolion, maybe bc Araki changed his way of writing a lot, maybe because Jojolion is more of an ensemble story, maybe because it´s less episodic. So you take these randos and give them superpowers and involve them in fights against supernatural beings and I think that´s part of the reason why the fights are so quick and to the point. Characters like Mitsuba or Kaato are really just normal people that happen to have stands so it makes sense for them not to do the whole strategic Stand Battle. And it bought us some awesome moments. Looking back maybe there were a bit too many “this character looked helpless but NO” but damm if it didn´t hype me up when reading it.

So, yeah, Kaato had her role, did her thing, and got Kei’d. And she was never evil, but rather, like Jobin, more morally gray and she died a martyr. And I wish both had more to do, but the part is long and Araki clearly wanted it to be a 3-way conflict with a clearer villain.....

evil twink Tooru.

Ngl I was at first really against Tooru and wanted him to be just a big antagonist and not THE big bad. After I calmed down and reread some past chapters I feel much more appreciative. I like how he really has a different dynamic, being a "mistery villain" but in a different way to Pucci or Diavolo. He really looks harmless and Araki clearly worked HARD with the misdirections. Theres a reason there were some fools (like me) still arguing against him being tbe antagonist. I checked his intro again back on the Doctor Wu fight and I really like how totally whatever the scene is the first time around. He absolutely could have been a minor character. Rereading it the whole thing is SO ominous AND everything Tooru says has a double meaning. I also like that his oddness can be chalked up to being a romantic rival to Jousuke, which threw off lots of folk (likeAs for WOU I'm also starting to like the fight more and more. The power over causality def is on the same level as power over time or space and I like how the characters are forced to think of loopholes and try out different ways to hurt him, playing with his "kill list" and such. I also like that WOU has limitations and that the Dr. and Tooru have to work with them to be deadlier, which makes them both so much smarter. I KINDA dislike how at the end he turned out to be so stupidly poweful that only Go Beyond can hurt him, which is not the worst Deus Ex Machina (Jousuke had to "figure" out his own stand --thats kinda symbolic for someone with duch a complex identity) but its a bit cheap for a 20+ fight.

Of course the real insanity is how unique of a stand WOU is. I dont think we had ever seen a stand this autonomous and smart? In my opinion thats what makes the fight so unique and Tooru so powerful. Its only balanced stat-wise in that neither Tooru or his stand buddy looks particularly powerful offensive or defensive wise in a conventional fight. Not that they needed it. Cant help but wonder how the hell could they add Tooru as a fighter if theres another JJBA fighting game. Maybe a double fighter?

Finally you gotta love the Magritte (hope im spelling it right) references with the doctor. Araki clearly was having fun and it added some "classic art" thing to the part. Kaato's attack and all of calamity also looked great, if we ever see Jojolion animated Im sure it will be a feast for the eyes.

Ofc maybe all this bs means nothing if Araki does pull a 180° next chapter. But thats the Jojo experience.

If anyone´s interested in this, how do you feel Tooru and WOU stack up against the other Jojo Big Bads?

[mxchellesworld]

𝟑 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐝 - 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟓

𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐱 𝐂𝐚𝐭 𝐀𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐬 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐫𝐮𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐞𝐧𝐯𝐲.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: mentions of sex and masturbation 

𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 | 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

***

It had been a few days since you’d seen Cat and Spencer. After lunch you decided it was time to make your way back home. A quick exchange of numbers and the promise of seeing each other soon and you were back to your mundane routine of getting adjusted to the city. The short uber ride to your apartment, which they insisted they paid for, was spent answering texts from your friends and confirming you were still alive after they left you. 

You spent the rest of the day doing laundry for the week and cleaning bits of your apartment. It was still pretty bleak, with empty walls which you longed to fill with pictures and art. Your room was a bit more lively with knitted blankets your aunt made long ago and the light of the warm lamp in the corner filling the space. 

Sunday was bland with the task of getting groceries. You decided to walk since the store was a block away. You made your way down the streets in a simple sweater and leggings, foregoing any makeup. Walking into the store the older lady at the register greeted you with a kind smile. 

Picking up a basket you made your way down the isles trying to get your things quickly to get back home and sleep the day away. While searching the snack section you stood in front of the popcorn deciding between buttered or kettle. You heard footsteps and saw a worker make his way down to restock the shelf. 

He was tall and you noticed the way his shirt rose as he reached the top shelf. Spencer could probably reach that no problem, you thought to yourself. He caught you staring and turned to you with a smile. 

“Having a movie night?” he asked walking closer. You could smell the scent of his cologne, strong but not overpowering.  

“Not really haha, but don’t get me wrong a catch up day of my favorite show is definitely on the list,” you replied returning with a small smile. 

He leaned in reaching for one of the boxes, subtly boxing you into the space. 

“Well this is my favorite kind,” he said handing you the box, “Ya know perfect to amount to eat alone.. or share.” 

“Oh,” you said surprised with a chuckle trying to play off the heat rushing to your cheeks. 

You were about to respond when you heard a voice from the end of the aisle, “Y/n.” 

Think of the devil and he shall appear.

Spencer was walking over to you holding his own basket filled with essentials like milk and bread. He looked like he did on Saturday, wearing those grey sweatpants which made you thank the stars above. On top he had on a simple tshirt and cardigan combo making him look extra cozy. 

“Hey Spence,” you said looking past the employee. 

“Did you get the popcorn baby?” he said looking the worker up and down. 

You furrowed your brow seeing what he was playing at, “Yeah yeah, he was just giving me a recommendation,” you turned back to the worker, “thanks again.” 

The worker nodded, red in the cheeks from facing Spencers death glare, before he walked away and rounded the corner. 

“What the fuck was that,” you both said at the same time. 

“He was just trying to help,” you said waving around the box of popcorn. 

“Come on princess you’re smarter than that. He was obviously trying to flirt with you.”

You scoffed before answering, “What don’t tell me you’re jealous.” 

“Oh I’m not,” he said with a smirk, “I’m confident in the fact we’ve proved who you belong to.”

You rolled your eyes before he spoke again, “Plus I know a boy like him could never satisfy a greedy little whore like you. Tell me, are the handprints still there?”

You opened and closed your mouth not being able to answer him. The laugh he let out told you he new he had won. 

“I think I’m done shopping,” you said walking past him. 

“Alright princess have a good rest of your day. But don’t think Cats not hearing about this, and she won’t be very happy.”

You felt your insides heat up at the thought of Cat knowing. What she would do to you. 

“Uh huh bye Sir,” you said stressing the title. 

You made your way to the older lady who you saw when you walked in, “Find everything alright?” she asked kindly. You nodded and pulled out your wallet to pay. 

God she had no idea. 

_

That interaction replayed in your mind from that night into your days at work. Neither of them had texted. Maybe Spencer forgot and never told Cat. The wait for something to happen was torturous. 

Your friend had noticed you were spaced out. Looking longingly at your phone during your breaks or lunch. It wasn’t like your feelings were hurt much for being ignored but more so the ache between your thighs was having a reaction. As you predicted trying to use your fingers or that sad vibrator in your bedside drawer was doing nothing to aid your release. 

You were out at the cafe around the corner from the office you worked at having lunch with one of your coworkers. She was going on about the night she had with the guy from the bar over the weekend. 

“Then he bent me over the couch! God it was so good,” she all but moaned. 

“Uh huh.” 

“I swear we were up until like 4 am going round after round,” she continued. 

“Right.”

“After that we sacrificed a goat on Saturn.”

“Oh wow,” you said looking down at the unlit rectangle next to your sandwich. 

“Y/n,” she said snapping her fingers in front of you. 

“What,” you said raising an eyebrow. 

“You’re being really shitty right now. I’m trying to tell you about how I literally got my back blown out and you’re staring at your phone like it’s gonna unlock the key to your future,” she said exasperatedly. 

Welp she wasn’t entirely wrong. 

“Abbie I’m sorry. I’m just waiting on a text. But please tell me more,” you said nodding for her to continue. 

“No, I wanna know fucked you stupid this weekend to make you act like a lovesick puppy,” she said putting her elbows on the table to rest her face in her palm. 

You internally debated telling her. I mean so far she has been the nicest and most welcoming to you, definitely bff material. But on the other hand you didn’t know if you were allowed to bring them up to other people. Technically it wasn’t a rule and what they didn’t know didn’t hurt them. 

You took in a deep breath before spilling your guts,” So basically after I noticed you guys were gone I accidentally walked into a sex club then later that night I fucked the owners and now we’re in a throuple type situation.” You ended with an awkward smile and waited for her reaction. 

“Oh the bdsm club? Isn’t it like the Library something?” she said casually. 

You sat there blinking for a while, “Out of everything I said thats the part that caught your attention.”

“So you had a threesome, very nice, we’ll get to that part. Tell me about the club.”

“Uh ok. We’ll it’s called the Underground Library and it’s what you’d imagine any bdsm lounge would be like. Red lights and sexy music playing in the back. There’s a bar and uh playrooms where you can watch others.”

She hummed taking in the information and sipping on her latte, “So the sex?”

“God it was so fucking good.” You both laughed and you spent the last few minutes of your lunch break telling her about what they did to you. Safe to say you knew your panties would be a mess by the end of the day just replaying those memories in your head. 

_

It was finally Thursday, you were so close to the work week ending and having a night with Abbie. The plan was for her to help you do a little shopping for your home then redecorate and spend the rest of the night sipping on wine with a pizza. Absolutely perfect. 

The day went by yet again without a notification from the people you wanted. At this point you came to the conclusion the incident was forgotten and left in the past. 

Friday you woke up around 10 and let yourself lay in bed, answering emails and lounging around until noon for you to get ready for your day with Abbie. After a while you got up to make a quick breakfast and make a list of items you planned on buying. 

You thought about getting a throw for the couch and some nice curtains. Maybe some wall decor. You were so excited to finally have a place to yourself and style it to your liking. 

Having roommates in college was fun but the solidarity of being able to walk around your own place basically naked and sing as loud as you wanted was liberating. 

Noon rolled around and you made your way to the bathroom to take a shower. The water pressure on your shoulders was breaking through to all the stress of the week and you instantly felt it melting away. 

You hopped out, wrapping yourself in a fluffy towel and looking in your closet for what to wear. You settled for jeans and an oversized flannel, putting some comfy booties on your feet. You looked at your phone to see Abbie had texted and she would be on her way in 45 minutes. Using the remaining time you did your hair and makeup, just the basics for your day out. 

Your phone dinged with a simple text that read “here”, you grabbed your purse and the list on your kitchen counter and made your way to the elevator. 

You saw her little red car right in front of your building. The sound of music playing through the speakers could be heard from a few feet away. 

You pulled the door open and she greeted you with a big smile, “Hey! You ready to spend away that paycheck,” 

You laughed before answering, “You know it.”

The trip was made with nothing but laughs and a horrible mix of you guys singing to the radio. 

_

After a few hours and trips to multiple stores you guys stopped at one of the vendors in the mall to get some soft pretzels. Looking around you saw a fancy lingerie store and an idea popped into your head. 

You tapped Abbie on the shoulder to get her attention, “Hey I know you’re dead on your feet but theres one store I wanna go to. Do you wanna just grab a table? I’ll be like 20 minutes tops.”

“Yeah no prob Y/n/n,” she said holding her hand out for the bags you had in your hand, “this cinnamon twist is calling my name.” You both shared a giggle before you turned and skipped over to the store.

A woman wearing a dark purple sweater greeted you, “Hello darling, are you looking for anything in particular?”

“Nope I’m just taking a look around, thanks,’ you said with a smile. 

Walking around you saw a display of a matching set. It was baby pink and lacy and it left little to the imagination of the mannequin. Perfect. 

You looked over the table finding the set in your size and walking to the dressing rooms. Quickly you basically ripped your clothes off, speeding to get the fabric on your curves. It was stunning, complimenting your skin and hugging your curves. 

You pulled your phone out and hit the messaging icon. If they weren’t gonna text then you had to bite the bullet and put on your big girl panties to do it first. 

Typing in each of their contact names you made a groupchat and hit the camera option. You lifted your hand to get a flattering angle and gave the mirror your best pout. 

“Do you think it’s a good color?” Sent. 

One last glance in the mirror and you knew this was going home with you. Changing back into your clothes you slipped your phone in your pocket and made your way to the register. 

“Just this for you today honey,” the woman asked. 

“Yup,” you said pulling out your wallet. You heard the chime of a text and a smirk came across your face. Finishing the transaction you were excited to see what their reaction was. 

Walking back to Abbie you saw her on the phone and raised your brow in question. She started to get up and you took some of the bags from her hands. Once she was done with the call she put her phone in her purse and looked over to you. 

“Change of plans. Sam, the guy from the club, called and he’s coming over to mine tonight. So raincheck on the wine and pizza?”

You waved a hand dismissing what she said, “You’re all good, go catch that dick.” She laughed and pulled out her keys as you guys made your way out of the mall. 

In the car you pulled your phone out to check the message. It was from Cat. 

“I’m not sure. Maybe your little friend from the grocery store can help you pick.” 

So Spencer did tell her. 

You quickly replied, “You know green isn’t a good look on either of you.”

Another chime. “Why would I be envious? Last time I checked you came on my fingers, in my bed.”

You felt your cheeks heat up at her words. You tried to think of a response but this time Spencer responded. 

“Come to the lounge at 7. And wear that underneath your clothes.” 

“Yes Sir.” was all you said and the conversation ended. 

Looks like you and Abbie both had other plans for the night anyways. 

𝐚/𝐧; 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐢'𝐦 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐢𝐭. 𝐢 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐫!!

[shattered-catalyst]

OCD Subtypes for the RPC

Part 1 is here

Well well well, we are back for Part 2 of the Roleplayer’s Guide to OCD.

Fellow Ocd Folks, I see you in those tags and I'm going to do my best to ensure those obsessions are represented here- BUT understand that physically it is not going to be possible to list every single one because I am one person.  Regardless its incredibly brave of you all to rb and add things in the tags, I know its hard to talk about this shit and I see you. I see you.

Resultantly I typed this out and posted it in formatting to assist with accessibility in mind; if you cannot read it still ( I tried Im sorry!) i recommend the copy and paste method or getting the chrome extension bee-line reader.

 There will be grammatical and spelling mistakes. Im sure spacing is odd some places, but you have to understand doing this is extremely anxiety provoking for me so Im just getting it done when I can.

Remember to use your critical thinking; not everyone has the same symptoms/compulsions/triggers and all that.

OCD is fluid. Its like liquid mercury. One day its a handful of subtypes another day its another different serving.

If you are in general squicked about certain topics even by mention read ahead with your own judgement. Remember us folks that have OCD have many disturbing and distressing experiences so if you are writing a character who has OCD and you can’t read about it just don’t give them that obsessive thought/ compulsion. Make sure writing is still a safe and enjoyable hobby for yourself first and foremost.

But ethically and morally I cannot and will not leave out the more disturbing bits. You have the ability to scroll by, I and many others do not get the chance to escape triggering content that our own mind creates.

So read ahead with your best judgement or at least skip around the squicky parts and educate yourself on what OCD is so people quite using it as a Obsessive Christmas/Corgi/Cat Disorder thing. Alright? Cool beans.

Okay so you made it passed post 1 and got under the read more. Give yourself a gold star for diving into this monster of a document.

Below is a crash course it is not meant to replace actual psychoeducation, personal research, or google. Honestly most of us do our research extensively but because OCD is treated so horribly by social media, media, and society in general.

I wasn’t sure where to throw these together because the education tools to learn fully about OCD are very specialized and thus very restricted. I found that many people DO have these experiences with OCD though so I will represent them throughout. I’ll also sprinkle some of my own experiences so you can get a good reference of a person who has the disorder and not just a randomly generated person.

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So OCD is made up of Obsessions, Trigger, Intrusive thought, Misinterpretation/feared consequence,Somatic and Psychological Anxiety, and Compulsions/Rituals.

Your character may not be able to list all of these. In fact if they aren't in ERP therapy they may not be able to puzzle these things out. But YOU as the writer should know them. Your character won’t be walking around talking to just ANYONE that they have OCD. Remember a huge aspect of OCD is it’s Shame.  The disorder makes us feel intense shame regarding our intrusive thoughts, as a result OCD goes undiagnosed for years especially if it has pediatric onset.

  We won’t tell anyone what we are experiencing or why we are doing x y or z. We act like nothing is wrong because to emotionally react is to admit to yourself- and therefore the world- that you have had this intrusive thought and are therefore by virtue a horrible person.[For further information I would suggest also researching PANDAS].

It may be noticeable if your character has an intrusive thought. They may wince or grimace or roll their eyes certainly, but they won’t open up to Joe at the cafe about how their brain is constantly torturing them. I apparently have a very noticeable eye twitch.

 Depending on the nature of the intrusive thought it will get more or less of a reaction out of me. Its usually dependent on how distressing the intrusive thought is and/or if its a new one.

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You see OCD doesn’t sit still. It never looks the same. You’ll have your long haul intrusive thoughts that are with you for years but then you’ll have weird ass ones that just appear and demand their voice be heard yelling about cars hitting people or squirrels getting eaten.

Some people have similar ones! So while everyone is different there will always be someone out there with an intrusive thought similar to yours.

 For instance; I bonded emotionally with a lady on reddit because we both have intrusive thoughts during storms that animals and the homeless are dying. We were both horribly relieved to find another person and also distressed that every snow or rain storm brings horrible images and whispers to your mind that while you are warm and snug in bed someone is freezing to death. And its all your fault.

Some days are better than others. As with all mental illnesses it isn’t CONSTANT ALARM BELLS. Some days it will be all alarms and other days it will be like a gentle whisper on the breeze. You can almost not notice it. Almost.

Obsessive thoughts run the gauntlet from ‘i will/could have/may/may accidentally harm etc’ something that you hold of value. This is any obsessive thought that you have: you think about repeatedly and not by choice, it is very anxiety provoking, it is unwanted, and unwelcome.

 Mine run the scale from ‘squirrel will be murdered’ to ‘being responsible for harm’.

Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object. In short, compulsions and rituals are not fun. they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder. 

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To emphasize from post 1: magical thinking and the faulty link between thoughts and actions are hallmarks of OCD.  Magical thinking can be anything from contamination to if I turn around three times or stare really hard at something the bad thing wont happen. Sounds weird and is weird and we know it is thats why its a disorder and not a delusion.

The faulty belief that thought=action is the biggest hurdle it is incredibly difficult to grasp, at least for me maybe some of you that have done further ERP can attest, that the mere concept of a thought not being the same as an action is completely and totally mind blowing.

Free will? Yeah thats terrifying. IDK about anyone else but free will is absolutely terrifying; what do you mean i could do anything i wanted?

Thats how you face OCD(WITH A TRAINED THERAPIST). You give in to ambiguity and the unknown. Its breaking that link between thought and action. Its incredibly difficult and draining. A five minute exposure leaves me in shatters for a week and two five minute ones had me ripping my nails past the nail beds with anxiety.

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Just a reminder: Do not have your character expose themself or expose folks with OCD to a trigger to “ help us get over with”. That is literally forcing someone with a mental illness into a break down and is not helpful. In fact its worse because a person knows about this intrusive thought and they tried to make it real. More shame and some trauma. 

If you have OCD, more likely than not a family member or significant other has tried this with the purest of intentions. But it never works like that. Theres a reason that therapists get special training for this. If people want a post on ERP I can make one at some point. 

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Actually let’s drag me with the squirrel thing as the example- fellow OCD Folks get out a pen and paper and try breaking down one of yours;

Obsession:Squirrel will be murdered

Trigger: seeing a squirrel

 Intrusive thought: Graphic images of a squirrel being murdered by a hawk/ impaling depending on the day

Misinterpretation/feared consequence: Squirrel will be killed and its all my fault

Somatic and Psychological Anxiety:intense anxiety, palms sweating, heart racing,

Compulsions/Rituals: Must stare at the squirrel to prevent bad things from happening, 

Now imagine if that is every time you see a fucking squirrel. You have somehow become completely and totally transfixed on a squirrel and nothing is going to pull your attention away or the squirrel dies- which your mind is giving you lovely images of btw.

Cute right?

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Below are the subtypes with general information/example thoughts/ and how some of these have impacted me socially because apparently some people dont understand that mental illnesses impact their social lives?? yall...

Social: This can range from ‘ i am constantly thinking i did something wrong so i have to ask for reassurance that we are still friends’ to completely unrealistic worries. Maybe its an intrusive thought that ‘ your voice is annoying them’ . There’s reassurance seeking, internal and external checking.

 It makes friendships extremely difficult and exhausting. You’re not trying to get to know someone with an annoying frat boy egging on anxiety in your brain. This can also manifest as having strict rules for yourself and ethical codes. 

My therapist likes to say she could give us (folks with OCD) a pile of hundred dollar bills and come back and they’d all be returned. Because OCD makes you so strict and morally confined. Which ISNT fun. Like I dont get pleasure over having to memorize the entire Code of Conduct!

Social Media: Its the bane of human existence some days and a lifeline the next. But what if everytime your follower count was an odd/even number it sent you into a panic attack. What if you spent all your time with intrusive thoughts that somehow someone misinterpreted a post or that someone is going to be harmed by a post you made about tapirs. 

You may be forced to block people to get your number down or keep pornbots on your blog to keep your number what you like (see there is a use for them! We sacrifice those before actual users!) You may be refreshing your page every second because ‘what if you miss a message’. It's going to look a lot like ‘check check check check reassure yourself double check your posts check check check reassure check check FALSE MEMORY check your post etc’

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Clothing/Body Image: When its not Body Dysmorphia it can be OCD. Sometimes this looks like I obsess about a body part and therefore I choose my clothes/hairstyles to hide those.  Some personal examples: as a kid I was sure that mind readers exist ( THIS IS AN OCD THING TOO I was so relieved to find that out) and that if i didnt wear  a particular hat they would see all these horrible thoughts and it would be revealed what an awful person I was. So I wore the same dumb ass bucket hat for a year (or more I cannot remember but it was a long ass time).

I was once so fixated on being given a compliment on my eye color that I wore sunglasses (even at night) to a summer camp. And if any of those teen girls in that cabin that stood up and mocked me in a crowded lunch hall by singing ‘i wear my sunglasses at night’ you all owe me 40$.

Even younger still I had intrusive thoughts. Like say, if anyone noticed I was female that i would be kidnapped so I chopped my hair very short. I altered my appearance to be very androgynous and even switched to walking more masculine. Because omg if your hips move someones going to kill you thats just how it works. ( It doesnt help I later figured out I was a lesbian)

Your wardrobe may be impacted by OCD and yes so can your body image.

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Also yes the fear of mind readers is also a thing; i always thought I was somehow faking OCD because yes that is also a…..

Faking: Do you value telling the truth? Do you detest lying ? Boy Howdy do I have some news for you. OCD is going to try and convince you that YOU LIED. Whether it was on a chastity pledge to get a free sandwich or in a conversation you just HAD. This links a lot with false memory OCD.

Another aspect is OCD makes us doubt we have OCD and tries to convince us we have any other diagnosis under the sun and we are obviously faking our OCD.

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Sexual Orientation OCD; It is as it is called. Sexual Orientation OCD is what happens when your brain goes ‘hold on what if you’re not this orientation what if you are THAT’. It doesn’t matter where on the LGBT umbrella you fall you will have OCD trying to convince you otherwise. From compulsive staring at members of the same/opposite gender to compulsively reassuring or checking with yourself to ensure that ‘ no no you are in fact THIS orientation.’ 

This can range in behavior from binge watching porn, staring compulsively to check that there is OR is NOT attraction,self checking past experiences and memories, analyzing your clothing and your lifestyle in painful and intricate methods.

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False Memory OCD; False memory OCD is basically your brain sitting you in a noir interrogation room, handcuffing you to a chair grilling you. It demands that you did *insert bad thing here*. This can range from anything from something Harm based to pretty much *anything* from other OCD subtypes. Which is quite delightful really.

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Sensorimotor OCD; Sensorimotor OCD is obsessive body responses. These can be ‘ I have to cough really hard and really feel it right in my chest and if I can’t get it right I have to cough until I do’. This can be counting your heartbeats. Trying to check yourself that you in fact have a heart and checking and reassuring that it is still beating. It can be hyper-awareness of swallowing or even swallowing repeatedly. It is anything with selective attention; ie its an automated process but your OCD is forcing you to be aware of it.

Your OCD makes you aware of the sensation of, say, breathing, and then it convinces you that if you stop paying attention to it you will stop breathing. So now you’re horribly aware and focused solely on breathing and breathing alone. It keeps me up most nights with the pounding anxiety fueled by the pressure of ‘if you stop focusing on breathing you will stop breathing completely’ or waiting to feel that last heartbeat in your chest. 

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Existential OCD; You ever feel existential ? Existential OCD is like having a very aggressive existential crisis that turns you into NEEDING answers IMMEDIATELY. This can look anything from hours panic scrolling the net to panic inducing anxiety because you don't know what happens after death. The thoughts are like foghorns on a misty sea.

This sounds basic and the only example i can give is as a teeny tiny 7 year old I had a panic attack in bed screaming that ‘ what if im a dinosaur and im asleep and i wake up and my whole family is GONE’.

To be fair I did like dinosaurs a lot.

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Harm OCD; This is pretty self explanatory but I will give more details. Harm OCD is OCD demanding that you will/could/can/may have/might harmed yourself/others/any living creature and that you alone are responsible. 

This means anything from getting anxious driving over crosswalks because ‘what if you dont see one and hit someone and its all your fault and you hit someone go back and make sure you havent hit anyone’ to ‘im holding a knife so im going to accidentally stab someone’ to ‘ i didnt see my cat this morning and now im at work and think she must be dead and i am responsible for her demise.’

 It can be as simple as ‘if i use a pencil i will stab myself in the eye’ or as complex as ‘ i may accidentally say a slur’/ ‘ i am going to say this horrible thing out loud if i cannot control myself.’ It can also be images of terror or racist/sexist/ableist jokes in your mind that repeat like a broken record.

(Please note from section 1 that this is extremely anxiety provoking and not something you would do. OCD preys on what we respect the most.)

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pOCD; Tumblr listen the fuck up because I am tired of seeing people get called shit on this website for having this mental illness. People who experience pOCD are not pedophiles, they do not get any pleasure or benefit. The thoughts and images are meant to induce harm to the person experiencing them. Children are normally the trigger for this and the resulting images can be very graphic. Again you aren’t attracted to children- thoughts of them getting harmed hurt you so your OCD makes you see them.

Know this so you can advocate for folks with pOCD in real life. Remember we are here. We are suffering and we are terrified of your children.

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Poisoning others/or in your food; Life isn’t medieval anymore but sometimes OCD demands we have a food taster or that we obsessively worry that we may kill someone with our cooking. Personally I struggle with colorblindness so I am constantly fretful over cooking any sort of meat so it’s difficult for me to cook it.

 However this also comes as; obsessive horrible thoughts of your cooking kill someone or that you have somehow/accidentally poisoned someone’s food (even if you haven’t touched it or been within a foot of it ) or that someone has poisoned YOUR food even if no one has touched it except you. You’re going to be picking apart your food or unable to eat out at all.

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Emotional Contamination: It’s similar to magical thinking and this terrifying prospect of mind readers. Emotional contamination can manifest as anything from intense worry over somehow gaining someone else’s negative personality traits.

 Or that somehow by interacting with any role of someone horrible will make YOU somehow also responsible for the horribleness.  There is usually a person or a type of person that is a trigger, but it can also be location based.

 This is one subtype where magical thinking and superstition are apparent.  

For instance; as a teen if a male was in my space or had physical contact;like shaking hands,giving a high five, being in my room etc. I would have to go around and physically touch all the objects that I perceive they may have also touched as a way to cancel out their presence. 

This includes wiping off myself to negate even the touch of family members. It really hurts peoples feelings, my father was especially hurt by this.

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Physical Contamination: This goes beyond physical dirt and grime. Most of us dont have spotless homes because if you’re having a fist fight with your brain everyday cleaning falls by the wayside just like it would for anyone else. Physical contamination holds 2 things: physical contamination obsessions AND compulsive cleaning behaviors/rituals. We believe that a small amount of a contaminate can cover large surfaces.

 Oh, and did I mention its not JUST dirt/germs/viruses. The list is expansive but heres a mixed bag of what they can be: sticky substances,dead animals,glitter (FUCKING GLITTER),negative words or language,colors, numbers, surfaces in general, food, people, and activities.  There is also a hyper responsibility to protect yourself and others from ‘contamination’.

Strangely there is a magical separation between the contaminated world and the ‘clean’ one. Spaces designated as clean would be a bedroom/bathroom/workspace where you are most active. That space is where the compulsions and intrusive thoughts occur. Its not I MUST CLEAN EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Otherwise I would be working cleaning houses because why the hell not amiright?

A real world example from a colleague would be a young man with physical contamination OCD is struck with such intrusive thoughts about cleaning that they refuse to allow anyone in their room or any animals in their home. But they are not able to even flush the toilet, take out the trash, wash dishes, or do garbage because of their intrusive thoughts.

The most famous would be compulsive hand washing but I feel it is important to also note OTHER aspects of physical contamination because everyone sees the hand scrubbing stereotype. 

Other compulsions include intricate rituals, not touching the floor (i played X-treme the floor is lava during college. I couldnt let my feet touch the floor because it was ‘dirty’),excessive showering (2-8+ hour showers guys, 8 hour showers. Thats what we’re talking about.)

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Relationship OCD: This comes as no surprise that yes you will have intrusive thoughts that you are somehow harming/ will harm/ may accidentally harm your significant other. Whether that be by physical or emotional means. It can look like ‘ I may have lied to her about how much I love her’, ‘ i may not actually love her and I may be leading her on’, and ‘ I must be corrupting her’. These can extend to certain physical activities with false memory OCD as a cherry on top. A great finishing garnish to leave you feeling absolutely dismayed and unable to trust your own perception.

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Scrupulosity: Religion! Whatever that may be! Its a thing with OCD.  With Scrupulosity obsessive thoughts run all over the board from; you committed a sin and forgot about it you monster to having to pray continuously/ a certain time/ until its right. What is right?Ask OCD that’s the only person who knows. 

We are fairly certain my grandfather had OCD because he went to church for every single Catholic Mass. Every single day. Every. Single. Day.  That’s not a healthy amount of attendance(I'm calling you out posthumously because I care Robert!). This can also look like: praying a certain amount of times. Praying until you do it ‘right’. Confessing every single potential sin. Cataloguing and dwelling over ‘sinful’ things. 

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Symmetry or Just Right OCD: Symmetry OCD is the runner up for ‘most likely recognized on tv shows’ award.

Symmetry OCD convinces you that if *insert thing here* isnt symmetrical or ‘just right’ (a magical position or number of objects that makes 0 logical sense) that something bad will happen.

This can range from the known; rearranging things. But it also looks like buying more objects until you reach the right amount and even throwing out objects if theres ‘too many’.

It can range from ‘the walls are percievably not straight so now i avoid that room at all costs otherwise i will be trapped traveling the edges of the wall with my eyes otherwise it will fall in and murder us ALL.’ to ‘ this historical bust is one inch off to the left and now all i see is visions of it breaking against the ground.’

So that is what I have time for. 9 pages on subtypes and basic information. If you find yourself wanting me information all of this is easily accessible online. So go, be free and dont ever compare people to Monk again. Write Batman and Scott Summers with OCD. Give us ACTUAL representation and not throw away joke lines. We are here. Our suffering isnt funny. We deserve representation too.

[impala1967dwinchester]

Baby Fever: Part 5

*Credit to gif owner* 

Word Count: 2.1k 

Warnings: self-doubt, depression, Sam, Sam being there for Y/n, a bit of angst and of course some fluff. 

Pov: Y/n’s 

Masterlist (Masterlist for series) 

2 months it’s taken Y/n to come up with a decision. She starts to retreat into her room. She worries that because she’s taken so long, Sam might not want to be with her anymore. Might not want to try. 

Recap: 

“I know that this is early and that you’re still hurting, but I want to be with you. I want this to work for you. We can go slow, we can go fast. Anything you are comfortable with I just want to be in your corner Y/n.” Sam said” 

Sam's words bounce in my head like ping-pong every day. I can’t figure out what I want. I sat for a month going back and forth. Going through the pros and cons of every situation.  

The good things that could come from this relationship would be endless. Sam being there and supporting of me. Sam being there for me no matter what is going on. Everything would be prefect, of course we’d have our fights and arguments.  

There was of course the cons list of this, this list be short but there were still things that could go wrong. I could end up breaking your heart, Sam could end up breaking my heart. I could bring all my past relationship issues into our relationships. I could damage you even more then you already are. I could break everything we have.  

Y/n stop!  

Make up your mind.  

So instead of stopping I laid held up in my room. Laid in my bed for a few days and then would venture out grab a cup of coffee and eat some food. As I made my way around the bunker, I sat down in the library. Thinking about it know it probably wasn’t the best idea.  

Because no later than ten minutes after I sat down Sam came walking into the library. He had a book under his arm, a cup of coffee in hand. When he finally pulled his chair up, he looked up straight at me.  

“Hey, Y/n.” Sam said sitting down at the table directly in front of me. It took me a minute to respond. Being so scared to answer him. “Hi, Sam.” I said taking a long sip of my coffee.  

“So, get this, I think I’ve found a hunt. Dean says it a go. I haven’t seen you in a few days figured you might have a cold. But now that I see you’re good. Right, you’re good? I was wondering if you had your stuff packed and ready for a hunt?” Sam asked.  

In a very rushed way. I stared at him and then shook my head. Got up and left him alone in the library. “Y/N!” I could barely hear his voice as I ran towards my room slamming my door.  

Falling atop my bed a let a small shiver run down my spine. I could barely hear the heavy footsteps of boots echo in the hall. A soft knock was the next sound I heard, and then the door clicking and Sam's voice.  

“Y/n what’s wrong?” He asked worry was starting to seep into his voice.

My face muffled by the sheets, pillow, and of course the bed. It was silent for a moment and then I felt the bed shift. The weight of Sam sitting on my bed brought my head up from the bed. I shifted and moved to lay on my back instead. Sam wasn't up in space; he was actually just sitting at the end of my bed where my feet lay.  

“Y/n... I know that things can be hard, but talking can make a few things better. So, what I am offering you is someone to talk too.” he said his hands laying palm down on his knees. I took a deep breathe in and then release it. Sam continued to talk. “I know that I asked you a while ago about being together.” Sam said looking up at me, and then back down at his feet. Trying to find the words to say to me I’d like to think.  

“Like I said we can take everything so slow, or we can go fast. I just want to make sure you’re comfortable with everything we do together.” Sam said shifting so more of his body was on my bed. I shifted up giving him more room to operate with.  

Theres that word again “Comfortable”. Comfortable with what? Comfortable with being with you Sam? Of course, I’m comfortable with you, I just don’t want to be the one that ruins everything that we could possibly have together. There’s another word I hate “Together” But you know what’s funny I only hate it when I say not it, but you Sam.  

“Y/n, you've got to breathe for me.” Sam's voice said bring me back to reality. I guess I was thinking a little too hard because I was having a hard time breathe and it felt like... it felt like... “Y/n can you breathe slower for me, you’re having a panic attack.” Sam says.  

I took a deep breathe in and a shallow breathe out. God, I feel so drained. “Y/n. I know that you aren’t okay. And that’s okay. I know that I gave you a huge burden to give me an answer, but you don’t have to. You’ll never have to answer to me, Y/n. That’s not how a relationship works, when you’re comfortable we can work things out. Do you understand me, Y/n?” Sam said, holding me a little bit closer in his arms, brushing my hair down and rubbing tiny circles into my back.  

“Okay, Sam. Can you grab my bag it’s in the chair over there, Let’s go for that hunt?” I asked. Sam hugged me tighter, and eventually had to let me go. “We can go for this hunt. That’s fine Y/n.” Sam said grabbing my go bag and taking the time to shut my bedroom door.  

I waited for the sound of heavy boots to leave the hall way. I got up and got dressed in jeans and boots with my stolen flannels from Sam and Dean. I grabbed my phone and my headphones. I walked out and shut my bedroom door.  

I rode the entire way in the back seat of baby with my headphones plugged in and playing my music. Once in a blue moon I’d see Dean, or Sam look over the mirror and look into the back seat. I stayed at the motel room and did research as the two Winchester boys went out to interview people. They’d come back and ask me what I found. I told Sam and Dean and then went back to being quiet.  

The night before we went out to kill this monster. The boys thought that I was out, but I really wasn’t. I could hear them talking, they were talking about me.  

Dean said “Is it just me, or is there something wrong with Y/n?” Then Sam answered, “Well... I guess I should tell you, but I asked her to be with me. And that was a month ago. Honestly I think she’s having a hard time making a choice.” Sam said.  

I heard the shuffle of papers and Dean's chair make a horrible sound on the floor. “I’m sorry what!” He yelled. “Be quiet Y/n’s asleep. And yes, I asked her to be together with me. Now before we left for this hunt, she had a panic attack. I think a lot of things are going on with Y/n. Don’t be a jerk and say anything to her tomorrow okay Dean.” Sam said in a hushed tone.  

“Fine” I heard Dean say before I saw his shadow pass by the window and he walked into the bathroom.  

When we finally killed the monster, I was still quiet. Sam pulled me to the side and asked me if I was hurt. I just shook my head and slipped away from his grasp and got into the back seat. “I think you outta wait this one out Sammy.” I heard Dean say before I put my headphones in.  

I just saw Sam roll his eyes and walk away from his older brother. We rode to the motel in silence, the only thing the two brothers could here was my music. I pretty much stayed that quiet as we packed out things and Dean went to give our keys back to the pretty blonde desk lady.  

Sam caught my arm as I went to leave the room. My bag slipping from my grasp. I pulled my headphones off and let Sam say whatever he was going to say to me. “Y/n please say something. I don’t like the quiet you and to be honest neither does Dean. What’s going on in that pretty mind of yours?” Sam asked me. I shrugged my shoulders and I left Sam's grasp grabbing my bag and walking away from him.  

I passed Dean on my way to the impala. He gave me a small smile, and I shrugged my shoulders to him as well. I was in no mood for anything. This lasted for another month before I was able to get out of my head.  

One day I just woke up and everything seemed better, I won’t say that it was prefect but it wasn’t worse. I made coffee that morning pulling three mugs for all of us. Making a huge breakfast. One by one Dean was the first to make his way into the kitchen I bet by the smell of coffee and bacon.  

“Your coffee is sitting at your normal spot; I’ll bring your plate over with me.” I said as I saw Dean walked in. I gave Dean his plate, and sat down in front of him. “What’s been going on with you lately?” Dean asked stuffing his face with pancakes and bacon. That was odd that he asked me that but I followed along.  

“I guess I’d have to start from the beginning, but that’s a long story. So, I tell you the short one. Yeah.” I said to Dean. He just shook his head and took a sip of his coffee. “So, I like Sam, and Sam likes me, but my past relationship end miserably and usually are my fault. So, when Sam asked me to be with him, I felt like I was going to ruin everything. I stayed quiet and was alone for so long, because I was trying to weight it all out in my brain. I want to be with Sam. I know that now, I just didn’t and don’t want to ruin what we already have now.” I said, catching my breathe and taking a sip of my coffee.  

Dean smiled, and looked over my shoulder. There was Sam smiling much brighter than Dean. “I’m guessing you heard everything I just said?” I asked. Sam came walking to the room and looked over at Dean. Dean got up and took his plate with him. “Thanks for the bacon, Y/n!” He yelled as he walked away. Sam down in front of me “Yeah I heard you. You know I don’t think that this will end miserable. I don’t you have anything to worry about. I don’t think you’ll ruin this” Sam said pointing at the two of us.  

“And I’m glad you want to be together with me, because I want to be with you more then you could ever know. Now come over here and let me kiss my girlfriend, right?” Sam said shyly. I got up and rushed over to the other side of the table and was carefully with jumping into Sam's lap. Our lips met with such a great force, but it wasn’t one that was strong and over-powered by the need to have each other. It was a kiss that was forced by true love and admiration for the other person.  

This was something that was going to be prefect. I really can’t wait for this to get even better. “Do you want breakfast? I made your vegan bacon and an omelet for you, Sam?” I asked him. He shook his head and I got off his lap, as I walked away, he lightly slapped my ass.  

I just giggled and grabbed his plate, along with coffee. “There you go baby.” I said laying his plate in front of him and sitting across from him. “DEAN? Do you want more bacon?” I yelled. Not even a second later Dean was in the kitchen with his plate in hand and vigorously shaking his head for more bacon.  

Sam talked as I loaded Dean’s plate up with more bacon than any average person would ever eat. “What do you say we move little by little your stuff into my room, or we can do it the other way?” Sam said. I gave Dean his plate back and he kiss my cheek and said “Thank you” in to my ear.  

I sat back down and thought about it. There was no longer need to doubt everything that was going on. Sam was safe with me, and I was safe with Sam. “I kind of like your bed a lot more then my own. So, we can move my things into you...... our room!” I said a smile plastered on my face.

Completed on: 04/06/2021   

[worldserasingandcreatinginmymind]

The Intern | Part Five

Summary: You move to New York to focus on your art but end up working as an intern at Stark Enterprises

Chapter Summary: it’s the night of the fundraiser ball, a night that will change your life forever

Pairing: Tony Stark x Reader, Peter Parker x Reader (friendship)

Word Count: 2803

Warnings: gets kinda intense towards the end

A/N: for the purposes of this story Stark Enterprise is set out like an office building in New York and the story does not follow the same timeline as the movies. Reader does not know Peter is SpiderMan. Also, spelling and grammar is not my strongest skill so please be kind :)

Part Four | Masterlist

- - - - -

When you arrive at the location of the fundraiser ball, Tony gets out of the car first and walks around to open the door for you. He holds his hand out for you to take and you get out of the car, thanking him. You take a moment to brush down your dress and he presents his arm for you to hold onto. You walk together up the steps towards the grand building and the man at the door ticks your names off the guest list before opening the door to let you in. Tony gives him a small knowing nod as you walk past.

Once inside the building you feel a sudden wave of anxiety hit you. What if this event goes horribly wrong, it would surely be your fault as the one who helped organise it. What if no one bids on the items at auction and no money is raised? Tony gives you arm a small squeeze.

“you ready?”

Then another thought pops in your mind. What will people think when they see you and Tony walk in together, arm in arm? Will they judge you? Will they think you only got this job because you’ve been flirting with him? You push all those thoughts out of your mind. You’ve worked so hard to make tonight happen, you are not going to let anything ruin it. Especially not your own mind. You take a deep breath, turn to Tony and smile.

“lets do this”

You make your way down the grand staircase into the ballroom where already a lot of the guests are waiting. A few turn to look at Tony, and then at the girl on his arm.  You spot Peter stood over by the wall, all dressed up in his suit, talking to MJ who looks almost unrecognisable out of her barista outfit. Peter gives you an excited wave and you smile back at him.

When you reach the bottom of the stairs you're instantly crowded by press flashing their cameras at you both and asking for statements from Tony, mostly about this evenings event but you hear a few questions asking who you are. Tony holds his hand up and they all stop to listen.

“You were invited here tonight to report of the fantastic charities were fundraising for, not to look for gossip. I will be answering questions later on this evening but for now, I have to buy my wonderful PA a drink. Excuse us.” He says and they all watch as Tony walks you past them all in the direction of the bar. You're stunned at how much control he has over them and relieved that he got you out of that overwhelming situation. You wonder how celebrities must cope having paparazzi and press following them around.

The bartender comes straight over when you reach the bar and Tony orders you both some drinks. As you wait you look around the room at everyone looking lovely in their fancy tuxedos and ball gowns and you smile. Suddenly you're aware that Tony is watching you. You turn to look at him, leaning against the bar looking like someone out of a James Bond movie in his tuxedo.

���what?” You say when he just continues looking at you.

“you really do look beautiful” he replies and you blush.

“well I must say you do look rather dapper yourself sir” you say putting on a posh voice. Tony laughs.

“sir? You haven’t called me that in a while” he takes the drinks from the bartender and hands you yours.

“can you believe I used to be scared of you” you laugh and take a sip of your drink.

“and how do you feel about me now?” He smirks and takes a drink, looking at you over the top of his glass. Is he flirting with you?

Before either of you can say anything else Peter appears next to you with MJ.

“hey y/n. Mr Stark, sir. This is MJ.” He says confidently and you find yourself feeling proud of him.

“I hear you’re the one I have to thank for the exceptionally good coffee?” Tony says.

“thats me” MJ replies taking a bow.

“look after this one kid, she’s a keeper” he says to Peter who smiles awkwardly and you take another sip of your drink to cover your laugh.

“as much as I am enjoying embarrassing you Peter, I’m afraid my duty calls. People to greet, awful jokes to fake laugh at…” Tony says and you roll your eyes playfully “nice to finally meet you MJ, this kid don't shut up about you” he pats Peter on the shoulder and leaves. Peter looks like he wants the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

“lets get you guys some drinks eh?” You say as you get the bartenders attention. “soft drinks only” you clarify, remembering they’re both still underage.

You give them their drinks and the three of you head over to a seating area in the corner to chat.

————

After about an hour of talking and laughing with Peter and MJ, Tony appears behind you and puts his hands on your shoulder. He leans forward so he can talk to you.

“I have someone who wants to meet you” he says and as you turn to look at him Steve Rogers sits down on the sofa next to you.

“good evening y/n”

“hi” is all you manage to say back, feeling slightly starstruck. Right in front of you is the face you’ve sketched so many times. His jawline really is perfect.

“Tony tells me you're quite the artist, I cant wait to see what you’ve painted for the auction tonight”

“yeah y/n’s paintings are wonderful, but you should really see some of the stuff in her sketchbook. Now that is interesting.” Tony teases

“oh no no, no one wants to see the stuff in there. Just full of doodles really” you respond shooting Tony a look, he winks at you.

“hey cap?” You hear someone call and Steve looks over then back to you.

“ah I gotta go. But it was lovely to meet you y/n. I’ll see you around.” He stands up and looks at Peter “good to see you again kid” he says, and you sense theres some history between the two of them.

Peter smiles awkwardly, sinking into his chair slightly. Steve walks off in the direction of whoever was calling him and Tony takes his space on the sofa. He nudges you.

“i’m sorry but that was brilliant. You're face was priceless” he laughs

“you couldn’t have warned me he was going to be here? When did you even add him to the guest list?” You respond

“I wanted it to be a surprise”

You punch him playfully in the arm, and turn your attention to Peter.

“you didn’t tell me you knew Captain America?” You say and he looks startled.

“oh, I don't really. uh, we just… kinda met once” he stutters and you look confused. Why is he being so secretive?

“ladies and gentlemen, the auction is about to begin. Please take your seats” The announcer calls from the stage. Tony stands up and holds his hand out for you to take.

“m’lady” he says trying to sound like a posh British butler.

You hold his hand and stand up. You walk over in the direction of the stage and find your seats. Peter and MJ sit next to you. Once everyone is sat ready the announcer starts speaking.

“ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming tonight. Before the auction starts I would like to invite to the stage the man who made tonight possible, Mr Tony Stark!”

The crowd start applauding as Tony stands up. He turns and give a wave to everyone before heading up to the stage and taking the mic.

“thank you, thank you everyone” the applause dies down “tonight is a very important night. We’re raising money for some really important charities and we’ve got some great items on offer for you guys tonight so make sure you get out your wallets and dig deep. Before we start I do have some thank yous I need to give out. Firstly thank you to the owners of this amazing building for letting us use it tonight. Thank you Richard for hosting the auction.” he gestures to the announcer stood at the side of the stage who takes a bow “Thank you to my incredible PA y/n for working so hard to arrange all of this. Everyone thinks its me that arranged tonight but she’s the one who’s done all the work really. Without her this wouldn’t have been possible, so thank you y/n” he points you out in the audience and Peter gives a loud ‘woop’ next to you. You can feel yourself blushing. “and lastly thank you to all of you for coming. Now let’s spend lots of money!” The audience laugh and applaud as Tony makes his way off stage back over to sit by you. He squeezes your knee gently and whispers “sorry if that embarrassed you”

“its fine” you shake your head and smile at him.

— — — —

“and now we come to lot number 24 in the auction. A painting made and donated to us by a miss Y/N Y/L/N”

You feel your heart flutter with a mix of excitement and nerves as your painting is bought on stage and the announcer walks over to remove the sheet covering it. You take a deep breath and hold it as the painting is revealed, wondering what people will think of it. You sneakily look at Tony’s face to see his reaction at seeing it for the first time, but he just stares forward at the stage expressionless. Does he not like it?

The bidding starts and a few people raise their boards to bid. The price is slowly creeping up, but not by much. Suddenly Tony raises his board.

“five thousand dollars” he shouts confidently and your mouth drops open in shock.  You hear a few gasps from members of the audience, and even the announcer himself looks amazed.

“wow! Generous bid there of five thousand, do I head any advances on five?”

Everything after that was a bit of a blur and before you knew it the price was up to seven thousand. It seemed people actually wanted your painting. Tony stands out of his chair, raises his board and bids ten thousand dollars.

“oh my God, y/n!” you hear Peter say in amazement next to you and he excitedly nudges you.

“ten thousand going once, going twice” the announcer bangs his hammer “sold for ten thousand dollars to Mr Tony Stark”

The crowd applaud and you bring your hands up to your face in shock, laughing. You cant believe that something you painted just sold for ten thousand dollars. Even though you wouldn’t see any of that money you didn’t care.

Tony sits down again and turns to you.

“I told you I wanted something to brighten up my office.”

“you could have just asked me, id have painted you something for free” you say, still laughing.

“oh. Is it too late to take back my bid?” he jokes, putting his arm around your shoulder to hug you.

— — — —

After the event is finished Happy drives you back to your apartment. Tony opens the car door for you and walks you inside to your front door. You unlock the door, step inside and turn around to look at Tony.

“I think we can call tonight a success” Tony says and you nod

“yeah, we did do good didn’t we”

“you did. I meant what I said up on that stage, tonight would not have happened if you hadn’t been so dedicated to making it work. Im really proud of you y/n”

You blush and look down at the floor.

“hey” Tony says putting a hand under your chin to gently lift your head up to look at him “you should be proud of yourself too”

You nod slightly, looking into his eyes. He moves towards you slowly, eyes flicking down to your lips. You have plenty of time to back away, but you don’t. And neither does he. You close your eyes and your lips meet. He moves his hand to the side of your face and you bring yours up to behind his neck, pulling him in more. The kiss naturally comes to an end and you both pull away slowly, looking at each other smiling.

“now get some sleep. We’ve got a long day of clean up tomorrow”

“cant wait” you joke sarcastically

“good night y/n” Tony starts to walk away.

“good night Tony”

You shut the door and stand there for a moment, taking in everything that happened tonight. It went so much better than you could have imagined and you did feel proud. You go to bed smiling.

— — — —

In the early hours of the morning you're woken up by a crash coming from the living room, like something had been knocked over. You lie in bed for a moment, presuming it was nothing but then you think you hear something else and you sit bolt upright listening carefully. You get out of bed and slowly creep towards your bedroom door, opening it as quietly as possible. Peering through you cant see anything out there so you continue to tip toe out the door. You walk into your living room and notice your window is open. You must have forgotten to shut it and the breeze knocked something over. You walk over to pull it closed and suddenly feel an arm come around you from behind, restraining you. You try to scream but another hand covers your mouth.

”got her” you hear the male voice say.

You kick as much as you can as the man with a mask covering his face throws you down on the sofa, holding you down.

“get the shot” he says and another man in a mask appears next to him holding a needle with some sort of liquid in it. You continue to try kick and scream but its no good. The other man pushes your head back and you feel a sharp pain as the needle jabs into your neck. He starts injecting the liquid into you but is stopped half way as he’s suddenly thrown across the room. The other man holding you down gets up to try fight but is soon sent flying too. You sit up and see Spiderman coming to help you up.

“run y/n, find somewhere to hide! quick!” He shouts as one of the men starts getting back up. You do as he says and run back to your room, grabbing your watch off the bedside table and climbing into your small closet to hide. You pull the door shut behind you and sit on the floor, swiping at the watch face to bring up the alarm button just like Tony had shown you. Your hands are shaking as you press the button and hold the watch close to your chest. After a few moments you hear the sound of fighting stop, then you hear footsteps running into your room. You bring your hand up to cover your mouth, trying to quiet your breathing not knowing who is in your room. The closet door flies open and Iron Man stands looking at you. He immediately crouches down, removes his helmet and Tony pulls you into him tightly.

“its okay y/n, I’m here. I’m here. You're safe.” He can feel how much you're shaking as you sob, struggling to catch your breath. He releases you from the hug and puts his hands on your shoulders. “breathe y/n, I need you to breath. okay? Can you fo that for me?”

You look at him, tears streaming down your face trying to focus on him. He tells you to breath with him and you do, not taking your eyes off him until finally you're breathing stabilises. “Did they hurt you?” He asks full of concern but before you can answer someone else runs into your room calling your name. You look over to see Spiderman stood in your bedroom doorway without his mask on. You squint through your teary eyes and recognise the face.

“Peter?! Why are you dressed like… you're the Spiderman?!” You say, finally realising the truth.

“I can explain” he blurts but stops talking when you start screaming and writhing in agony. You feel like your blood is on fire. You don't know what’s happening to you but you hate it. Tony tries to get you to tell him what’s wrong but you cant speak.

Then everything goes black.

Part Six

Taglist: @brownbuble​, @star-trek-is-my-lifesource​, @shookie-shookie​

[infinityactual]

Tagged by @monitorchakas to list five shows that give me that sweet, sweet feel-good juice, so here goes:

1: Star Trek: Enterprise. I only have a whole blog about it, @captain-loose-cannon. The Vulcans are petty bitches. Capt. Archer just runs around pranking the fucking KLINGONS. The engineer, Trip Tucker, is literally Florida Man. Also?

Pubby.

2: The Expanse: Based on a series of novels, the show is written by the authors of said novels, who amend the story as they go but. My GOD. Realistic space physics? An old lady politician who cusses WORSE than a sailor?? wlw AND poly rep???? GIANT BADASS CHICK IN POWER ARMOR? AMOS. FUCKING. BUR TON. I could scream about this show for YEARS. It's on Amazon if you want to partake.

3: Stargate SG-1: Old, but so, so good. The show that made me see that I am not, in fact, straight in any way, shape or form because Samantha Carter is a SMART, BADASS, FULLY-GEARED GUN TOTING HNNNNG. Also Jack O'Neill is sexy jackass grandpa and fucking Teal'c and his EYEBROWS and just. Teal'c makes the show.

4. Farscape: I just. There is SO MUCH GOING ON. The ship is alive. The pilot is cool as shit. Theres a lady who's a plant. Ome guy can knock u out with his poison tongue. THERE IS A LOONEY TUNES EPISODE and one of the villains looks like he lives in a BDSM club full time.

5. Steven Universe. The colors. The themes that are explored. The music. GREG. AAAH.

Tagging @pantheris @katwylder @corey-netra @borealtwilight @antsyserpentine and @justsofingdone

[duckulamoved]

theres two different spacekin playlists ok dntrblg /:

that homesick feeling thats songs like: 

saturn (This entire album is great but this song hits me hard)

subterranean homesick alien

venus

you are the moon

we are stardust (this one also gets me but if you havent heard melodysheep before i highly rec theres a whole list of fun stuff)

and then ones that are just like idk man this just gives me those space vibes and makes me feel good:

infinitesimal

endless fantasy (this one has a consistently flashing, colorful light on a static image so be careful if you click it and are photosensitive). 

starchaser (this one largely inspired my book!!!)

looking for astronauts

ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space

[all-hail-the-witcher]

I have spent far too much time on ao3 recently and have decided to make a list of the weirdest/best tags and finally decided to post it as a final fuck you to this entire decade, please enjoy

- “penis swag”

- “smut with feelings”

- “I swear to god this is not crack”

- “Jarvis is a dapper house elf”

- “probable misuse of federal accountancy”

- “cuddle spores”

- “blatant disrespect of a mans motorcycle”

- “unnecessary comparisons to animal planet during sexy times”

- “abusing the tagging system?”

- “no zombies were created in the harming of this story”

- “clintucky fried chicken”

- “the tags make this look way weirder than it is to be honest”

- “this is capital S Soft”

- “I dont know what straight means”

- “flowers have MEANINGS people, LEARN THEM”

- “apologies to actual Canadians, I know youre pros at invading the united states”

- “The midwest is kinda weird”

- “I spilled the sad in my porn”

- “sharing toothbrushes is weird and im not sorry to tell you that”

- “nothing serious here”

- “I could be working on one of my 50+ wips, but no here I am writing some bullshit”

- “I should go back to writing instead of adding tags”

- “im not spell checking this crap”

- “I hope none of my future psychiatrists see this, nor any of my future employers”

- “hello future historians this is what happens in the head of someone with adhd”

- “I mean theres a coffee related plot which lasts about 500 words”

- “wizards are assholes”

- “I wrote the tags before the fic and now I realize the stoy didnt went the way i wanted it to”

- “the fanfic equivalent of Well That Escalated Quickly”

- “emotionally unavailable acrophiliac murder machines”

- “omg thats a real tag”

- “really terrible twilight puns that im not even remotely sorry about”

- “I dont do human science so im allowed to make some shit up”

- “everyone should just hug man”

- “non-consensual masturbation of humans by dolphins is a real thing, my tour guide said so”

- “canon compliant to literally nothing”

- “assholes in love”

- “id like to apologize to the entire greek pantheon, except zeus cause fuck that guy”

- “trigger warning: Africa by toto”

- “st. petersburg is in Florida not russia”

- “the cheesiest flirting you'll ever read”

- “appreciate my puns”

- “its not a coffee shop au if most of it takes place in Tony Starks kitchen”

- “actually theyre kinda married”

- “mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm”

- “im just letting this story take me wherever it wants to go”

-  “superhero frathouse skyscraper”

- “no tentacle sex”

- “but no dogs kissing”

- “look- lady and the tramp gives meezers a bad rap okay?”

- “inadvisable medical practices”

- “dont try this at home kids”

- “saps in love”

- “accidentally living together”

- “just bros being bros”

- “bromance to romance”

- “all of the pop culture references”

- “mature tag for eventual violence, and also profanity because we’re all adults here for the most part”

- “getting banned from walmart”

- “the kicked out of Walmart list”

- “bribery through coffee and pizza”

- “no baloney sandwiches were harmed during the making of this fic”

- “SPAAAAACE”

- “no idea how long this will be - but it will probably be a stupid long thing”

- “space opera”

- “slow burn but it forgot to be slow”

- “seriously people, helmets are important”

- “inadvisable road safety practices”

- “accidental baby acquisition”

- “I summarize six months in a paragraph, for plot reasons”

- “monstrous abuses against perfectly good bedframes”

- “super smash bros, bucky needs to thank that game for his relationship, pikachu helped him realize that hes gay”

- “some sketchy ass explanation because reasons”

- “sex will be had while wearing olympic medals”

- “i have been informed by many parties that this is ‘very fluffy’”

- “murder strut”

- “fuck you flowers, not that kind of fuck”

- “actual trash”

- “literal litter”

- “compost couple”