#a little late today bc family gatherings

[queenof-curses]

req: omg no bc imagine ur at a family cookout w ur bf (toji) and it’s like his first time meeting ur family, it’s summer time (sundress szn 🌚), and the dress ur wearing is just doing it for him fr and y’all fuck in the bathroom or smthing 😭

Hi Anon! Let's ignore the fact that I finally finished this request MONTHS later 😅Anyways... Here it is!

Meeting the Family

Toji Fushiguro x Fem!Reader

Summary: You bring Toji over to meet the family. What happens when his mind can't stop wandering to the fact that you decided to wear the prettiest little sundress that he's ever seen?

Notes: Toji is in his early 40's and reader is meant to be in her mid to late 20's!

Tags: MINORS DNI!!!!! Explicit in all ways, dirty talk, age gap, breeding(?), oral (fem rec.), PinV, unprotected s*x, Daddy K!nk.

Word count: 2.1k (I kind of went crazy with this one)

--

He knew what your family truly thought of him.

He could see it- the judgmental eyes masked by a tight smile. Your mothers kind words that were somehow tight lipped… he knew exactly what they thought of him. 

Toji, a man pushing 40- dating you. You, who was so young and full of life. You had dreams and aspirations; Toji had a divorce. He could tell the age gap was going to be a problem as soon as he walked into this family BBQ. 

You however, were completely blind to it. If you knew what was going on, or could read the uncomfortable vibe at the party, he could not tell. And he loved you all the more for that. Toji had decided that if it did not bother you, that he wouldn’t let it show that it bothered him. 

It was the least he could do. After all, the longer he spent at this family outing, the longer he could stare at the little sundress that you decided to wear today. 

God- you were so fucking hot, he thought. The pink and orange patterns on the dress made you look as beautiful as the sunset. It made his mouth water as he eyed the way your tits were pushed up by the bodice of the dress, the straps thin enough to tease the fact that you weren’t wearing a bra. 

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath. 

“What was that babe?” You turned to look at him, currently standing next to you as you both filled your plates with food. 

He coughed to cover, but all it did was earn your suspicious eye. “Nothing babe, food looks good.” was his excuse. 

“Mhmm..” you said before returning to your conversation with a cousin. 

Toji shifted his weight from side to side, pretending to listen to your aunt rant about her latest cruise excursion. He couldn't give less of a shit, and ended up letting his mind wander back to your outfit choice of the night… 

–

About two hours passed, your meals finished long ago and the entire family sat gathered around the bonfire out in the backyard. Dad rock blasted over the speakers, almost loud enough that conversation had to be shouted to one another. Activities were just getting started, and the crowd seemed to be livelier than ever.

“We’re drinkers on this side of the family,” you lean in and tell him. You noticed his hesitation to grab a third beer earlier, knowing deep down that your family would think he was weird if he HADN’T drank. 

His scar stretched across his lips as he smirked down at you. “Oh yeah?” he taunted. “Think I can out drink any of these old geezers?” 

You laugh at this comment, “Babe I hate to break it to you- but YOU are an old geezer.” Your hand finds his chest, patting him over his black shirt. 

Toji scoffs before commenting, leaning down to whisper in your ear. “Old? Nah- you wouldn’t let some old geezer bend you over the kitchen table last night while you cried ‘Daddy! Daddy!’ huh?”

“Toji!” You cry out, punching him in the arm. “Anyone could’ve heard you…” 

He chuckles, “Not a chance Sweetheart, look around… everyone is wasted.” 

His comment makes you laugh. It was true- your family wasn’t well off, but they sure knew how to party. 

It was then your mother noticed the two of you laughing, the white wine making her feel confident to approach you. 

“OH HONEY!” she cries, loud enough to wake the neighbors. “Why don’t you give Toji a tour of the house! I’m sure he’ll LOVE seeing your cute little baby pictures…” 

“Mom- please st-”

“I’d love to have a tour!” Toji interrupts, his grin stretching from ear to ear. “I’m sure my girl was just as precious as she is now.” He wiggles his eyebrows at you, an action unnoticed by your intoxicated mother. 

“Yeah, yeah- I’ll give him the grand tour…” You take his hand in yours, dragging the much larger man back towards the house as your mother waved you off. 

–

His eyes were glued to your ass as you led him throughout the house. It wasn’t a long tour, but by the time you two made it to the second floor his jaw was practically on the floor. Watching you climb up the stairs in that little sundress had his cock hard and his balls achy. 

At a certain point, Toji accepted defeat at the fact that  he couldn’t wait until the two of you got home. Who knows how long you wanted to stay. Was he really about to risk getting caught by your family? 

One more look at the way your breasts swelled inside the dress determined his answer.

Of fucking course I’m gonna risk it, he thought. 

He waited until the right moment; you were showing him the bedroom you grew up in. Thankfully, he was able to lock the door after you walked in without you noticing. 

“You got a private bathroom in your room? Damn- you sure you aren’t loaded?” He teased you, walking towards the large doorway. 

“It isn’t much Toji,” you tell him, rolling your eyes and following close behind. 

What you didn’t expect is for him to pull you completely into the bathroom, shutting the door and shoving your body against it. He locked your hands behind your back, making you unable to move against him as your face pressed into the cool wood. 

You could feel it there- his hard on rubbing against your behind, his hips slowly hiking up the skirt of your dress inch by inch as he rutted against you. Your chest heaved, the surprising situation turning you on immediately. So what do you do? Well, you decide to taunt the beast…

“What? Couldn’t make it home, Daddy?” You ask as you push your ass against his front, rubbing yourself up and down his clothed shaft. The grin on your face was similar to that of a cat, and it made him want to corrupt you all the more. 

“Don’t even fucking tease me, Sweetheart- I’m harder than a rock and ready to tear that little dress off your tight body.” He groaned into your ear. 

Using his free hand he pushed your hair to the side, exposing your neck and immediately bringing his mouth to your heated skin, leaving a trail of love bites towards your ear. He moaned into you, soaking in the scent of bonfire and arousal as he shifted himself behind you even more. 

You couldn’t move your hands, wanting to touch him just as much as he was touching you. 

“Toji I-“ you start, but he was quick to cut you off.

“Shhh sweetheart, let me take care of you.” 

He kept his grip tight on your hands, forcing you in place as he kneeled behind you. “That’s right princess, keep your ass out just like that.” 

Quick to shove the fabric of your dress up, he hikes the hem above your ass and uses your restrained hands to hold it in place. Not waiting any longer, Toji didn’t even admire your panty choice before tearing it down to your knees and sinking his face into your cunt. 

“Oh- god!” You cry out, pushing the softness of your behind further into his face. You could feel the way his tongue worked your folds, spit mixing with your arousal as he shoved himself into your opening.

He removes himself briefly, but only to tell you how delicious you tasted. “You’re my favorite flavor sweetheart.” Before diving back in.

Toji used the thumb of his freehand, quickly finding your little button and softly tapping it as he devoured you whole. The quick licks and twirling of your clit was quickly going to send you over as your back arched into his touch. 

“Daddy- fuuuuuuuuck, I-I’m gonna cum!” You warn him.

“Do it princess- do it on my fucking face.” He goads you, wanting to taste your sweet release. 

It wasn’t long before his tongue prodded your cunt just right as you cum hard on face, whimpering as he kitten licks the mess you’ve made on yourself. Stars danced across your vision as your orgasm rips through you, blanketing you in bliss as he massages the fat of your ass. 

“Fuuuuuck!” You cry out, attempting to move away from his touch, but his iron grip keeps you in place.

“Ah- that’s my girl, so fucking beautiful…” 

You take in his words as you slump further into the back of the door, your mind spinning as you try to wrap around the fact that your family was just outside the house… 

“Mmm Toji…. Don’t you think we should be more careful- oh!!” 

Your words cut off quickly as you feel the blunt tip of his cock rub your wet folds. In your haze, you hadn’t heard him unbuckle his pants, but as your neck craned to peak back at him- you look back at the monster you created. 

Toji was beyond disheveled… his face was heated and his eyes were feral as his gaze bore into your own. He didn’t even take his pants off all the way, but just pulled out his member that he currently fisted behind you. 

His cock was hard, the tip leaking precum as he ran the head up and down your puffy folds. You knew at that point there was no convincing the man otherwise- he was going to fuck you with reckless abandon.

One whimper slipping from your lips is all it took, as the older man buried himself deep into your cunt in one swift motion. His heavy balls slapped your swollen clit as he set a hard and fast pace. 

You cried out at the intrusion, and Toji was quick to remove his hands from your back and bring one to your mouth. Your muffled cries quickly filled his palm as you screamed at the sheer girth of his length. His other rested on the swell of your hip, squeezing tight and no doubt leaving bruises in the shape of his fingertips. 

“Fuck princesss- you’re so goddamn pretty in that little fucking dress, it makes me want to fuck you up, put a little baby inside you. Everyone will know- you’re fucking mine.” 

His words were as unhinged as the thrusts of his hips. He cock filled you deliciously, the thickness of him stretching you wide as he slammed into you repeatedly. 

Toji rocked against your body, forcing you to bring your hands up to brace yourself for his movements. 

“Fuck- Daddy, you feel so fucking amazing…” you tell him, only making his groan deep into your ear. 

He was erratic, fucking you as if his life depended on it. Beads of sweat dripped from his temple as he focused on the only thing he could think of: filling you up. 

“Want me to cum in ya, baby? I’ll fill you up real nice- fuck a baby into your sweet cunt.” 

He was filthy; but you’ll damned if that didn’t turn you on more. He grinned as he felt the way your cunt clenched tight at his words. 

“Oh? You like that baby? Then I’ll fuck you up real nice…” He said between thrusts.

“Ohhh, please- yes!” You cried, practically begging him to finish inside. 

The angle of his hips hit just right, your second orgasm hitting you like a freight train as you squeeze the girth of his cock tight. 

“Fuuuuuck- that’s it, such a good girl- milk my cock Princess.” 

You rock your hips against him more, and with one final thrust, Toji buries himself balls deep inside of you. You can practically feel him in your womb as he empties his load into you- the heat of his filling you up deep within, it makes you cry tears of  bliss as he stills inside of you. 

“Shhhh, it’s okay baby- I got you.” He says as he pulls out. “Daddy’s got you…”

Toji was quick to catch your tired body before you collapsed. He brought the two of you to the bathroom floor, shifting you so that he was sitting against the door with your body cradled within his. 

Both of you were sweaty, covered in slick and cum, and currently catching your breaths. You look up at him and lock eyes, both of you sharing a huffed laugh as you process what just happened. 

“I hope they haven't noticed how long we’ve been gone…” he tells you, reaching out to swipe away your smeared mascara with a thumb.

You smile before answering. “Nah… mom was wasted before we even came up here.” 

As if on cue you hear cheers from the yard just beyond the bathroom window. 

“Who wants s’mores?!!!” Your mom screams.

And you both laugh. 

Thank you for reading! All notes/reblogs/comments/likes are appreciated besties!!!

[matchamilkislover]

White Horse, 1. (a.a.)

pairing: knight!abby x princess!reader

cw: fantasy!au, fem!reader, eventual displays of fighting and violence bc it’s fantasy, kind of slow burn?, tension, reader has an attitude, tall af!abby bc size difference, royalty!au, mentions of arranged marriages, some mentions of au politics, abby in armor is a warning in itself

synopsis: you are the youngest princess of the royal family that rules over your kingdom, Aphrynia. now a young adult, you’ve come of age in a tense time, and your personal protection is of utmost importance — which is why the resignation of your previous personal knight means a rushed reassignment ceremony with little to no preface. That being said, why does the name of your new knight sound so familiar?

word count: 2.8k

a/n: this is gonna be so trope-heavy and romantic and cheesy and i don’t even care i’ve been giggling and kicking my feet this whole time

⊹ ⋆｡˚ ————————— 𓆩♡𓆪 —————————⊹ ⋆｡˚

“Princess, you really do need to get up.”

You groaned, rolling over in your excessively comfortable bed as your lady’s maid, Nina, started forcefully pulling the many blankets you had covering you off. Your proper mind knew that she was right, that you needed to get ready, but the pounding in your head begged otherwise; and right now, the pounding side was winning. You tried to sit up and open your eyes, but the bright sunlight instantly blinded you, causing you to groan and fall back again. Nina sighed.

“Either you get up, or I’m calling George and he can drag you out himself.”

That made you sit up. You’d had enough of your second eldest brother ripping you out of bed throughout your childhood to last a lifetime. Your legs already felt a phantom soreness at just the thought.

“Okay, okay, I surrender, I’m up…” you grumbled, swinging your legs over the edge of the mattress and tenderly standing on the cold floor. Nina rolled her eyes as she started gathering materials for you to bathe.

“I told you to ease up on the wine last night,” she scolded as you started shedding your nightclothes and trudged to your washroom.

You rolled your eyes in response and yawned. “Don’t judge me! You would let loose a little too if you knew it was your last night before getting assigned another overbearing knight,” you replied dramatically. These were the times that you both loved and resented that you and Nina had known each other since childhood; sometimes she knew you a little too well. Nina just chuckled and followed you.

A while later, you were clean and dry. And cold. You shivered as Nina helped you slip layer after layer of your intricate clothing on your body. “Why is it so frigid in here this morning? I can literally hear the fire going,” you whined as another shiver made your arms shake. Nina shrugged as she picked up another layer.

“The mornings have been getting colder lately,” Nina remarked thoughtfully. “Perhaps an off the shoulder dress wasn’t the best decision the seamstress could’ve made for today’s gown.” She grimaced as she eyed the off the shoulder masterpiece waiting to be adorned.

Your pout spoke for you. Even so, you had to admit the gown was rather lovely. The gauzy pink seemed to shimmer in the light, and you couldn’t help but stare at it in the mirror once you had finally put it on. Nina, however, still anxiously watched the time and rushed to finish getting you ready.

For whatever reason, one you weren’t exactly keen on understanding, being assigned a personal knight was something of a ceremony in the royal family, and was therefore to be treated as such. And ever since your former knight, Mattheo, had resigned not even a fortnight ago to wed and begin a life outside of his knighthood, you had been assigned a rotation of lower knights while a replacement was decided on. While you couldn’t blame Mattheo for wanting to have a different life and a family, you couldn’t help but resent his leaving just a little bit; he had been your personal knight since you were young, and you had grown to trust him like an uncle or a father. Whatever young, overconfident knight you would be assigned now would not be nearly as tolerable, of that you were certain.

Nina’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts and reawakened the pounding in your head. “Princess? Princess, we’ve got to go,” she harped, placing a guiding hand on your back. “Wouldn’t want to keep everyone waiting.” You nodded in agreement and started walking, trying your best to hide the grimace pulling at your face.

You could barely keep up with Nina’s quick steps as you navigated the corridors of the palace, your shoes clicking on the polished stone floors. “Nina,” you muttered through panting breaths, “You know you can slow down a little bit, right? It really isn’t that serious,” you pointed out. Nina shook her head.

“Sorry, princess, but I’m under strict orders to get you there on time. Promised the queen,” she replied with a wink sent your way. Your mouth gaped while your brows furrowed.

“Seriously? For a knight assignment? The fuck…” you muttered back, still grumpy from your hangover and unending headache. Nina clicked her tongue at you in disapproval.

“Princess! Language!” she scolded, holding back a giggle and not quite managing to suppress a tickled smile. You made an amused face in response and you both had to struggle to hold down your laughs as you passed knights and members of the court in the long corridors.

As you finally turned onto the corridor leading to the throne room, Nina cleared her throat to get your attention. “Please try your best not to seem hungover, princess,” she muttered through clenched teeth, “lest the queen come for my head.” You both stifled one last giggle before the doors to the throne room opened, and your arrival was announced to the small crowd standing inside.

You took a steadying breath, blanking your face as you delicately walked forward, desperately hiding your fight not to wobble in these godforsaken shoes. You kept your gaze steady on the front of the room, not wanting to risk an offhand glance at the crowd interrupting your focus.

You breathed a quiet sigh of relief when you reached the front and stood in place amongst your siblings, ignoring George’s knowing smirk and Elyssa’s disapproving look. Like always, your eldest brother, Philip, stayed as stone-faced as ever, and Henry, the fourth sibling, gave his best attempt at matching Philip’s ever-serious mood. Although he was closest to you in age, only being 18 months older, the two of you couldn’t be more different. He never seemed to possess the itch for mischief and adventure that you did, and instead followed your eldest brother like a puppy and tried to copy his every trait. You suppressed the urge to roll your eyes and turned towards the rest of the room.

Glancing at you to acknowledge your arrival, your parents rose as one, and your mother’s voice rang out in the spacious throne room. “Welcome, esteemed guests and friends, as we conduct our youngest daughter’s knight reassignment ceremony on this lovely morning. As many of us know, our youngest has quite the…lively spirit, and as she reaches marrying age, we’ve found it impertinent that we find a unique knight to ensure her safety amidst the happenings of that lively spirit.” A soft chuckle carried through the room, and you had to suppress another eye roll as your mother – the “ever-esteemed” queen – basically called you a burden who needed watching. Great. Exactly what you needed this morning.

Your mother continued her speech. “While the knight we’ve chosen for her assignment may not have the age to match her rank, her experience and accomplishments make her quite the perfect match to guard our lovely daughter. Thus, Knight Anderson, will you please approach?”

Your mind came to a sudden stop. ‘Her’? Your new knight was to be a female knight? Well that certainly makes things more interesting. And her name…Anderson. It sounded oddly familiar, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. A young female knight, a respected, high-ranking one at that, was to be Mattheo’s replacement? Certainly she wouldn’t be quite as easy to slip past. But you had gotten creative over the years…

Your racing thoughts mixed with your eyes searching the crowd for this ‘Knight Anderson’, but came to a sudden halt when the knight finally stepped through to the front of the crowd, and the sight of her left your mouth hanging ever so slightly ajar. Although it had certainly matured since the last time you saw her, you would recognize that face anywhere.

9 YEARS AGO

Abigail Anderson was going to be the death of you. No matter where you went, she was somehow there, ready to show off and drive you up the fucking wall. Since her father was the royal family’s physician and a childhood friend of your father, and the two of you were so close in age, the two of you had been shoved together since you could read, and you couldn’t resent it more. She never failed to take an opportunity to prove herself against you; whether it was her intelligence in tutoring sessions, or showing off her strength and size outdoors while exploring or riding, if the chance was there, she took it.

You were both twelve, and while you were able to spend more time apart, tutoring and riding lessons were still spent together. You had started spending your free time with the daughters of the court members, while Abby spent her time training for knighthood or whatever it was that motivated her to sweat in a dirty training ground for hours a day. It wasn’t like you paid it too much regard; you were perfectly happy spending tea with your friends that you could actually relate to before retreating to the palace library to spend afternoons reading and exploring different worlds.

On one sunny spring day, Abby had shown up late to your joint riding lesson, and you were already annoyed since George had ruined your favorite riding boots by dropping them in a boiling, soapy wash basin while the maids weren’t looking, only for them to be found hours later and sorrowfully returned to your chambers. The twat. So when she came jogging up to the stables, your glare was already set upon her, and she preemptively rolled her eyes.

“I know, I know, training went over,” she retorted to your glare in an annoyed voice, raising her hands apologetically at your instructor.

You continued glaring as she saddled her horse and mounted the steed, flipping her braid behind her shoulder. Sensing the tension and not wanting to be a part of it, the instructor casually instructed the two of you to take a simple ride through the naturalistic grounds surrounding the palace during your normal lesson time. You nodded curtly and took off in a simple trot, Abby quickly following and settling into a matching trot beside you.

“Heard about what happened to your boots,” she remarked casually, not even glancing your way. But you knew what she was doing, and you already weren’t in the mood for it. She kept pushing anyway.

“What a waste,” she continued, clicking her tongue. “You poor thing, how will you ever survive?” You could feel her smirk without looking. Trying to be the bigger person, you only sighed and kept ignoring her.

She laughed. “What, don’t want to admit that you’re upset over a pair of boots? It’s okay, you are a princess, after all.” Even though she was right, it wasn’t like you wanted to admit it to Abby, of all people. You really liked those boots! Princess or not, you were allowed to be upset about it! You could say that, but it’s not like Abby would care. She’d just keep teasing you about the boots, or poking you about some other stupid thing that was sure to push your buttons. So you kept your head straight forward and kept riding. She wasn’t satisfied.

“Too good to talk to me now, are you? You’d rather be at a prissy tea party with your prissy friends?” she said, mocking a posh accent and expression as she spoke. And you just snapped.

“You know what Abby, just because you don’t like me or think I’m shallow or spoiled for whatever reason, that doesn’t mean you have to go after my friends too! You don’t even know them! You know, I don’t think you even know me like you think you do, so why don’t you just shut up already,” you exploded, taking off on your horse like a bullet and leaving Abby shouting after you in the dust. You heard her call your name after you a few times, but you ignored her, clenching your teeth as your resolve hardened and you quickened your pace even more.

By the time Abby started galloping after you, you were too far ahead to hear her. You just kept riding and riding, not stopping until you reached the creek that bubbled along one of the far edges of the palace grounds. Hopping off your horse, you gently smoothed the mare’s chestnut hair as you watched the clear water run up and over the rocks in the creek. Remembering what Abby had said, you clenched your other fist and loudly groaned in frustration, holding back the urge to go as far as to stomp on the ground.

You took a deep breath to steel yourself as you heard hooves approaching quickly from behind you. Abby called your name again, but you barely even turned your head, fist still clenched. She scoffed and dismounted, walking up to you casually.

“You know you can’t ride off like that,” she remarked. You continued to ignore her. “C’mon, you know I didn’t mean it like that,” she continued, leaning to try to get in your line of sight.

You only scoffed in reply and turned away, speed walking along the creek bed. Abby kept following you, reaching out to grab your arm once she was close enough. You gasped angrily and whipped around, hair slinging from side to side. You tried to pull away, but her grip was tight. And you panicked. No one had ever grabbed you like that, and you were so shocked, you couldn’t help but go into panic mode.

“Will you– let go– get your hands OFF of me–” you shrieked, starting to flail and struggle in her grasp. Abby also began to panic in response to you, and before you knew it, you were slipping on the creek bed, and the two of you tumbled into the creek, a tangle of limbs and shocked exclamations as you fell into the surprisingly icy water.

As soon as you hit the water, you gasped, inhaling water instead of air and immediately choking. You floundered, desperately coughing and trying to eject the water from your lungs. Finally, your flailing arms found a large rock to land on, and you started pulling yourself out of the water. At the same time, you could hear Abby climbing the water as well, and you got distracted, your hand slipping as you crashed back down into the creek. Another breath of water infiltrated your mouth and throat, and you continued to choke and cough, unable to gain enough footing to grab back onto the rock. Finally, a pair of stronger arms latched onto your own, stopping your flailing to pull you out of the water and onto the creek bed.

Flopping onto the ground, you coughed out the remaining water from your lungs until you could finally take clear breaths, anger returning with the consistent oxygen. You shot up suddenly, cutting Abby off as she opened her mouth to ask if you were okay. “You are despicable, Abby Anderson! Despicable!” You shouted as you pushed hair out of your face and straightened your soaking clothes. “I am leaving. You need to give me time to return my horse and escort myself inside, lest I see your despicable face and decide to strangle you once and for all!” You continued as you mounted your horse, giving her one last dirty look before riding off as fast as you could.

It wasn’t until the next morning when Abby wasn’t present at your lessons that you discovered that she had left for official training. And no matter how angry you were at her, you couldn’t help but be at least a bit disappointed that she hadn’t said goodbye.

THE PRESENT

Your mother’s voice was all but muted background in your head as you watched Abby – apparently now known as ‘Knight Anderson’ – approach you and your family at the front of the throne room. A lump settled in your throat, and your mouth felt impossibly dry watching her armored form get closer and closer. You barely registered your mother reciting practiced phrases as Abby knelt in front of her and bowed her head towards the queen. It was like you were outside your body, watching everything happen, only an observer as Abby stood and she and your mother approached you. You were sucked back into your body as Abby knelt in front of you, taking one of your polished hands in hers and bowing her head towards it.

“Knight Abigail Anderson,” your mother began, her voice confident and steady in contrast to the nerves that rocked your body, leaving you lightheaded. “Do you solemnly vow to dedicate your life to the protection and safety of the princess?” Abby looked up at you through her lashes, and you felt like you could faint.

“I do.”

[updownlately]

i'm the definition of 'wreck' (if you look into my soul)

| leah williamson x reader | angst | 2.4k | inspo: time by nf / everywhere by niall horan | a/n: i tried to write angst, no idea how that went but here's what i got. technically since no names were named you can imagine any player from the arsenal wfc as 'her' but i wrote this with leah in mind bc well im a lw6 simp

~~~

It's been like this for weeks. This push and pull. The little things that work just a little harder each time to knock you over the edge. To be honest you don’t know how much of it you can take. And what’s worse is you know you’ve got nobody but yourself to blame. 

It’s when she’s leaving your shared bed early in the mornings, long before either of you need to be up. It’s the way she’d retire to bed later than she probably should, long after you’ve headed up, risking less sleep just to avoid contact. 

It shouldn’t be like this. Love shouldn’t be like this. It shouldn't be missed date nights, keys grabbed after every fight, doors slammed, sometimes more nights a week spent at hotels than your own bed.  Yet, it’s all you’ve ever known and the only thing you carry in your heart. This sad, broken, pathetic attempt at love is really all you have to offer.

In all honesty, you were shit at this relationship thing, though no one could blame you. They say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and yet you’ve begged and prayed that it would. And yeah you technically have control over your actions and should better yourself, but you’ve tried and failed over and over again. You’ve tried to improve, work on yourself, create a better version of you, but in the end, when everything’s burning and there’s napalm in the air and rubble all around you, all you’ll ever know is to grab your weapon, fire, and run. 

It’s left you alone, failed relationship after failed relationship. You swear you’ve tried. Tried to work on communicating, on breathing deep breaths before your anger builds up, on talking about your fucking feelings. Regardless, it’s never enough for yourself. You run, you hide, you lock yourself away until there’s nothing to find.

So when weeks and months pass and you see her each day with the light finally returning to her eyes you can’t help but be glad that she got rid of you. 

And when you feel so broken seeing her and her family after a game won at your home pitch, you quietly gather the shattered pieces of your heart and make your way toward the locker rooms with nobody but yourself to blame.

It's only as you pass the friends and family section that you can pick out her mother’s voice and your name being said in conversation, with a follow up question on how you’re doing, something you really don’t deserve after how you’ve treated her.

You’re very much aware that no matter how many times you fix your damaged heart and dull all the sharp edges, that you’ll still end up hurting those around you. So you speed up ever so slightly, shielding your already broken heart, cradling the pieces that had fallen ever so gently as they break further in your hands, careful not to cut anybody along the way. You swear you drop some pieces in your hurry, but with your rush you tell yourself you’d come back later to grab them (spoiler: you never do).

~

You end up showering and changing before anyone else has even made it back inside. Making a pit stop to confirm your departure and the following days’ schedules with your manager and coach, you check the time and head to your car.

It's late afternoon and while that helps expand your options for lunch, it also means you have one too many hours left in the day to survive before you can let yourself head to bed. Contemplating on how to spend the rest of your day, it’s your tiredness that makes the final decision. 

You grab a quick lunch, choosing to not head home and instead to the gym for a workout. It may not be one of your wiser decisions to have an extensive training session today, but with the free time on your hand and the voices in your head, there’s really no better option. 

Meeting up with your trainer, which by the way bless his heart for booking you at the last minute, you gather your gloves and handwrap and head towards the equipment. It’s as you run through your normal warm-up that you reflect on how pathetic your life’s become. 

For the past three months, you’ve damn near ceased to exist. Yeah your body’s still here, you’re waking up in the mornings, attending practices, playing in games, all the good stuff really, but you know you’re not there. A feeling you’re all too familiar with. The lack of care of what happens to your body, the way your slide tackles and play gets just a tad bit more dangerous each game, the way you keep training, choosing to ignore the idea of a recovery period, the way your car’s more comforting to you than the apartment you own. You’ve been here before and it wasn’t a good place then and it sure as hell isn’t now, but it's all you know and the only thing that’s never really left, so you’ll cherish it for as long as you can. You know that if anything and everything leaves, as they always seem to do, you’ll still have your companion in the darkness.

The sane part of you realizes how far gone you are, it tries, tries so helplessly hard to pull you back, remind you that you can be okay, but this time? This time you’re sure you’ve given up on trying to remember that. So you’ll do what you know best. Let it consume you. Let it destroy you. Pick you apart piece by piece. Let you slowly forget the feel of a sunny day and a good practice with the team. Rid you of the joy that comes with the pretty sunsets London Colney sometimes has to offer. And this time you’ll let it all happen with open arms, truly, honestly, finally exhausted.

An hour later when your trainer’s calling it a day and forcing you to take a break, you listen, if only to spare yourself a lecture. You grab your stuff, shower, change, and head out. You’ve still got a couple hours left to kill, and with your training bag and boots still in your car, it’s not a difficult decision of where to go. 

Opening your car door and entering, you can feel the day catch up to you, your body readily sinking into the driver's seat, almost protesting against your mind. You know you’ll be feeling these workouts tomorrow, but your mind’s not done racing yet. 

Lacing your boots a short while later, back at the training grounds, you grab your spare ball and warm-up once again, going through the motions. With how many hours you’ve spent at the grounds alone, you’ve developed a pretty consistent solo training session. It's the peace of being alone, a football at your feet, and a near-perfect grassy pitch at your disposal that your mind slowly begins to slow, finally tiring.

You thought you got lucky, a finally tired mind and the hour changing to one acceptable enough for sleep, but then your phone rings, an all too familiar caller ID flashing the screen.

Eight pm after a match in the afternoon is an odd time for your coach to be calling you and with curiosity getting the best of you, you scramble to answer the phone. Running through the pleasantries, you gently prod the reason for his call. 

The answer you get isn’t what you were expecting really, but then again, it was a miracle it had taken this long for it to be said.

“Your contract’s ending soon. wrapping up the third and headed into the final year. Any thoughts on your future?”

The tone in Jonas’ voice causes your heart to sink. This club had been home to you since you had left your own. Arsenal had accepted you with open arms from the start, being your saving grace when you had thought you were going to be subjected to living a broken life at a place that never felt like home. When they had renewed your initial two year contract into another four, you had been elated for your future. You had never felt more excited to be tied down to a place before. taking a silent deep breath, you push back the memories of that day and swallow your emotions effortlessly.

“Depends. What's my future at Arsenal looking like?”

“You tell me. You of all players know that chemistry in a team is what makes a team run, what makes a team successful.”

His response tells you everything you need to know. You know he wasn’t oblivious to what had happened. How your outgoing personality had slowly stopped being exactly that. The way that you had pulled away from your teammates, treating them like nothing more than colleagues rather than friends, treating your job as what it simply was, your job. But you never expected him to have let it impact your presence on the team. You knew what you were worth and what you brought to the table. You weren’t a goal scoring machine, or defensive unit, a tough protective wall. You were you. You played all your minutes like they were the last you’d ever play, heart left of the pitch (not that there was much left of it anyway). You were content with setting your teammates up, leading the league in assists. You were a decent tackler, winning more than two thirds of your face-offs on the regular. You knew your worth on the team, and your agent reminded you of it often enough too, mentioning the potential offers you could have from other clubs regardless of how many times you’d told him you didn’t plan to leave.

“Our on pitch chemistry hasn’t changed. My on pitch chemistry hasn’t changed. We’re still a unit on the field Jonas and you know it. You know I have the utmost respect for you and this club, don’t let me think any differently.”

“A handful of clubs have reached out. Their offers are tempting to say the least.”

As much as it hurt you to say the next few words, you knew that taking any other stance would leave you stuck, broken for the umpteenth time. “I trust you to make the best decision for the club. At the end of the day, I wish nothing but the best for Arsenal.” 

The ‘with or without me’ goes unsaid but from the few years that you’ve worked with him, you knew for a fact that he had heard the unspoken words. As Jonas lets you know that while a decision had to be made, there wasn’t an immediate rush, you know for a fact that you’ll likely not be calling London home again. And when you both agree to reconnect a week from now, you’ve already accepted your fate. 

It’s an unusually silent drive home for you. The brief break you had earlier from your mind is long gone as you make a mental note to get in touch with your agent first thing tomorrow morning.

~

The post goes up after your last match of the season. While Arsenal had qualified for the Champions League once again, the team had gotten knocked out in the semis for the tournament, ending their season a few days early. It’s between the break of club football and world cup prep that your departure is announced, with no real destination said. If you hadn’t known that London wasn’t home for you anymore, the lack of a response besides an occasional story about the post from a few of your teammates solidified it. 

It's when Bayern upload their new signing post with you holding up your new jersey that the final nail in the coffin is hammered in. The way your move suddenly becomes real. The comments being said online. Speculation on why Arsenal decided to let you go despite your importance to their success. Why Bayern was who you chose. Why there was no lengthy farewell. The people were digging for any crumbs, any notions on why you may have left, but it was only you and your teammates that really knew, and you all chose to keep mum. 

It’s with the acceptance that you’re leaving do you feel absolutely unwanted and lost. And while you’d felt lost in your life before, it had never been like this. Feeling lost was when you were younger and couldn’t find your mother while at the toy store and when you had gotten your first failing mark in school. Feeling lost was when you were asked to leave your childhood home after coming out, no idea where to go. It was when you still got night terrors from the fights that your parents used to have even when you thought you had healed. But being lost had never felt like this. It had never reminded you that you had lost the only good in your life. That the only family you had ever loved didn’t want you anymore. That you hurt all those around you, people you promised to protect and love. That you had a gaping hole in your chest from a gun that you had fired. 

So as the weeks pass and the world cup comes and goes and you notice yourself slipping just a little more each day, you let it play out. You don’t know what your breaking point is but at this point you just don’t care enough to not find out, especially since you’ve got nobody to blame but yourself.

When you leave your bed early in the mornings, long before you need to be up just because sleep wasn’t coming to you and retire to bed later than you should just to avoid having to lay in a bed alone, you blame yourself. When you come home to an empty apartment in a new city, the loneliness amplified by the darkness you choose to adorn your apartment with, you have no one to turn to but yourself. And when you interact with your new teammates solely for work in fear of hurting them too, you remind yourself that you’re broken, only able to spread your misery rather than feel joy.

It never was supposed to be like this. Existing wasn’t supposed to be like this. But now it’s all you know and all you have. So when you wish you yourself could leave your body and soul behind, it wasn't hard to understand why she left you.

At the end of the day, when everything's done and gone, you at your core were a mess you didn't know how to control, a wreck of a soul, barely alive.

[miasmal-sweetness]

Barefoot

Inspired by my family members who always told little me growing up to not let a boy ever get me barefoot and pregnant.

Also not very good because I wrote the vast majority of this while very hypoglycemic and depressed lmao

Summary: 4.2k. Cloud’s dreams are dead. Shinra didn’t pan out. The city wasn’t for him. So he’s back in Nibelheim, forever a country boy. But you’re here, too, and you’re just happy he filled his promise to come back safe. Cloud is satisfied with his future in this sleepy town as long as you’re in it, but what’s this about you wanting to leave for school?

Alternative summary: Your small town boyfriend kills your big city dreams before anyone else can.

Pairing: yandere!Cloud x reader

Warnings: Forced breeding/baby-trapping, impregnation, reader is AFAB and referred to as a mom, Cloud kills your dreams, dubcon, manipulation, talk of abortion, not proofread bc it's meeee

MDNI – NSFW – 18+ only – take care of yourself

Barefoot

The sun is setting. Some of the Chocobos in the town’s ranch are scattered about, already settled for a good sleep. From the water tower, they look like puffs of bright yellow pollen gathered in the grass, at least when they tuck their heads against their wings. Normally, you’re filling the silence between you and Cloud with your happy chatter about your favorites—whom you have named Peep and Meep—but your words are in short supply today.

Cloud glances down at your hand. It’s next to his. So close… He could just grab it. Why aren’t you holding his hand? Has he brushed you off too many times? As he ponders the possibilities of why you might be mad at him, he misses the sight of you repeatedly parting your lips and closing them again.

“Did I piss you off?” Cloud finally asks. He can’t think of anything specific as to why you’d be angry or sad. You’ve been happy lately, maybe a little lost in thought, but things have been going well. He’s back in Nibelheim. You two are officially together. His mother is thrilled and adores you, your father approves of him, and you’re happy he kept to his promise to come back to you. So what’s the problem?

“What?” You snap out of your thoughts and finally look at him with wide eyes. You look tired—not physically, but mentally. Something is eating away at you. “I—no, no, I’m not mad.” You laugh, more to comfort him than anything. “I was just—erm, thinking, that’s all.”

Cloud grunts, a crooked frown on his face. He stares in to your eyes for a moment longer, searching for any signs of a lie, and finally accepts it as the truth and looks back at the Chocobos. “What are you thinking about, then?” He should have figured. You thought a lot—frequently, you thought too much. You had yet to take his advice to knock it off.

“Um…” You aren’t looking at the Chocobos. You’re looking at your hands, and then your kicking feet, and then your hands again as you rub circles in to your palms with your thumbs until your skin is red and raw. “I’ve been thinking that I want to learn more. A-about healing. You know, if anyone gets hurt out here, there’s not much we can do.”

Cloud nods. He knows this isn’t why you’re rubbing your own skin off your hand. “That’s a good idea,” he says, ignoring the anxiety rising in his gut. “One of the traveling doctors should be coming by next month; maybe you can—”

“Actually, I wanted to go to the city and study there.”

That’s why you’re so anxious. Why you’re tense and your voice is tremulous. Why you two aren’t spending your time on the water tower talking about Chocobos, chatting about your days, or making out. Cloud hides his surprise well, but it still takes him a moment to be able to speak.

“The city, huh?”

“Mm-hm.” This time, he’s silent. You stop agitating your palm to place your hand over his, but it feels wrong. “There’s a practitioner program there. I’ve saved some money for the tuition—and it’s not that long! I’d be back soon.”

“And how long is ‘not that long’?” he questions, turning his head to look at you again.

Your nervous smile drops, and your gaze shifts to the side. “A year and a half,” you admit, squinting. Cloud bristles at your words, and you return to trying to comfort him. “I know! But I’ll come back here afterwards. And I can visit on breaks—or you can visit me. I’ll write all the time, too.”

This cannot be happening. He goes through all that bullshit with Shinra, has to swallow his pride and come back a failure to you, and now that you two are settled, you want to leave? No way.

“Cloud, please,” you murmur, squeezing his hand. “I can’t be a merc like you. You know this place is… Th-there aren’t a lot of opportunities for me here. I have to make my own.”

Cloud scowls. “You think it’ll be better in the city?” he grumbles. He wants to rip his hand away from you. He wants to brush you off and tell you it doesn’t matter, but he can’t. He can’t do that to you—certainly not now, when the threat of you leaving him is looming. “Trust me, you’re the last person that should go there. You wouldn’t last a day.”

“I have to try,” you insist. “I know it didn’t work for you, but—” You see the raw emotion that flares in his eyes. Wrong path to take. You change the course of your words, hoping it’s not too late. “Cloud, my only option in Nibelheim is to one day stay at home for a husband to look after our kids.”

“What’s wrong with that?” It hurts a little bit, how disturbed you sound when you say the word “husband.” When did your futures diverge like this? Was it his fault for leaving first? “We can get married. You don’t have to worry—”

“I want more than that, Cloud. I want my own life.”

You were right, and he knew it. You were like his mother when she was younger. He heard the stories of how adventurous and bold she had been, how she had defiantly claimed that she would never be a housewife—she would be a traveler. And yet, she had fallen for a man who did all the traveling instead, who left and died and now she was alone and all her dreams were gone.

And even though he sees longing in her eyes sometimes, all his mind focuses on now is one word from you: kids. Children bind people together forever, whether they like it or not. A child was the same thing that tethered his mother to this place—even his father, before his death. Maybe his mother still mourns her dead dreams, but she was otherwise happy, right? You could be, too.

Cloud finally reciprocates your grip on his hand and intertwines your fingers. He softens the scowl on his face for you. “When are you planning on leaving?” he asks, bringing your hand in to his lap.

“The end of spring,” you answer, scooting closer to him. “So we still have two months together.”

“Then we should make the most of it.”

In the dark, it’s pretty easy for him to get away with “accidentally” tearing the condom when he opens it without you even noticing—especially when you’re so worried about someone seeing you two while he fucks you behind a barn. You aren’t normally so agreeable to sex anywhere other than his house, but today is different. Maybe you feel guilty. Maybe you’re excited because you think you’ll actually get to follow your dreams. Doesn’t matter.

Leaving it all up to one ripped condom is too risky, so over the coming days, Cloud gets to researching. He’d never really thought of himself as father material, not until now. He’d learn to be a good one, though. Or not—he was pretty sure you weren’t keen on kids, but you’d probably learn to love it. Eventually. And if you really didn’t, then there were options to get rid of it in the city. After you were married to him, and only then and with his permission—there was no other way. The village aunties wouldn’t allow otherwise. Neither would your father.

So Cloud reads about pregnancy and fertility when he has downtime. He tracks your cycle as best he can by going through your things and counting your pads. He pokes holes in every condom the both of you own and gives you grapefruit juice every morning to screw up the birth control you take. And he fucks you every day, of course—he even keeps you on his cock for a while after, in the hopes that it might increase the chance of something taking.

The clock is ticking, though. There’s only two weeks left until you leave, and you’ve shown no signs of pregnancy. No backache, nausea, or fatigue. If anything, you’re more energetic—always excited about school. About leaving him. That’s what rings through his mind as guilt fills his chest when he slips off the condom mid-sex. You deserve this. Who cares if it’s wrong? It’s not like you’d ever find out, and when you see the mess he’s made, he’ll just say it was an accident. An honest mistake. You’ll believe him—you always do.

It’s a week until you leave now, and you have still not voiced any changes. No weight gain. Nothing. He’s running out of time, and he knows it.

“You can stay a little longer,” Cloud insists, holding you by your wrist. You’ve started packing your bags, taking what you can of your home—another slap in the face to him. If you really leave, you’ll even deprive him of the ability to go to your room and be among your possessions. “You said the program doesn’t start for another few weeks.”

You smile at him in a tender, almost pitying way. You slide his hand off of your wrist and return to folding a blouse. “I want time to get settled in,” you remind him. “You know I’ve never been to the city before.” You want to suggest that he come with you and show you around, but you know how it will go. He’ll shut you out the second you try.

Cloud snatches another shirt from your hands and tosses it across your room. “You don’t need that much time,” he argues as you sigh. “You can stay. At least… another two weeks.”

You narrow your eyes at him. Damn—you shouldn’t have looked in his eyes. You’re certain he must be aware of the effect his eyes have on you when he softens his gaze and gives you those big blue puppy eyes. He even juts out his lower lip, ever so slightly. You’ve never been able to say no to that face, and this time is no different.

“A week,” you offer, crossing your arms over your chest.

“A week and a half,” he counters. A smirk crosses his face for a quick second, but he replaces it with the pout you know, love, and also hate.

“Fine,” you groan, slouching your shoulders. You comb your fingers through your hair and sigh down at your half-packed bag. “Fine. I can stay an extra week and a half.”

He’s bought a little more time, but he knows you will try to leave eventually. Cloud wraps his arm around your waist and draws you closer; he’s thought of backup plans, in case you never do get pregnant. He could just… take you. You’d be pissed, but it’s not like you could do anything to stop him. Still, he’d rather not go that far unless absolutely necessary. If there’s any chance he can just get you to settle down on your own, he’ll take it.

You lean in to him, and he decides to seize this opportunity, too. His fingers creep down to the hem of your skirt; you try to hold it in place, but he just lifts it up anyway in the back.

“Wearing those for me?” he teases, snapping the waistband of your pink panties.

“You’ve been insatiable lately,” you grumble, swatting his hands away. “You can’t give me a break?”

“Nope.”

And he means it. Cloud’s hands are already on you, his lips against your jaw as he slowly guides you to your bed. It feels nice, but you still pull away and rest your hands on his chest.

“Cloud,” you whine, “Not here. What if my dad—”

“The door’s locked,” he says with a shrug. “Don’t worry so much.”

“What if he comes home and—”

“He won’t. But if he does, I’ll just tell him I was taking good care of you.”

He looks annoyingly proud of himself. You open your mouth to sass him back, but he’s already kissing you again. You’ve known Cloud for years—you started fooling around when you were still a little younger and a lot dumber. Neither of you were skilled at first, but you know each other’s bodies well, and he knows every spot that makes your toes curl. You resign yourself to your fate as he pushes you on to your bed.

This is the you he’s used to. You put up a fight sometimes—you have to look decent, keep your reputation as someone respectable and capable—but you always give in to him. Why does it have to be different when it comes to the city? What’s so special about it? His misery comes out in the form of a harsher bite to your throat than usual.

“Cloud!” you scold, “T-try to be careful. You know how annoying it is to cover up hickeys.”

He doesn’t even think about listening to you. “Then don’t cover them,” he mutters, before lowering his head again to suck at the same spot.

“Asshole.”

“Mhm.”

Even as you grumble and complain at him, he can still feel how wet you are when he shoves his hand down your panties without warning. Some of the fire in your eyes dies out as he toys with you, replaced with something soft and wanting. You scowl and voice another complaint when he pulls his hand away to undo his belt and strip out of his shirt. He doesn’t bother to do the same for you; he decides lifting up your shirt and tossing your panties on the floor is good enough.

Cloud grips you by your thighs as he looks you over. Fucking you on your childhood bed under your father’s roof probably won’t earn him any points with your family, but they don’t need to know—and if they do find out, they’ll have to put up with him once you’re knocked up anyway. Cloud feels you shudder when he just barely penetrates you; as much as you’ve griped at him today, you’re still excited. Unusually excited, even for you.

“Take your time,” you quip, resting an arm above your head. “Not like anyone else could walk in here.”

“Brat.”

As punishment for your sass, Cloud thrusts in to you without warning or hesitation. You cry out and grip your sheets, but it puts it an end to your mouthiness at least. He doesn’t let up, though; he’s now intent on pounding you into nothing on your bed as he forces your knees to your ears.

“C-Cloud…” You want to tell him to stop, but you don’t. It feels good, even if the bed is creaking loudly and you feel like a pretzel and you think did he put on a condom? He’s hitting the perfect spot and your moans are getting louder, your fears of being heard slowly dissipating from your mind. Fuck it—if he’s this set on railing you like this, you may as well fully enjoy it. “Harder, please!”

You feel his nails curl in to your thighs. He laughs at your demand, but acquiesces. Normally, Cloud focuses on your face, the expressions of pleasure on it, and your breasts as they bounce. Right now, though, his gaze continues to be drawn to your belly. He releases one of your thighs and rests his hand over your lower belly, pressing down like he’s trying to feel his own cock inside of you.

He can’t help but think of you—pregnant, waiting at home for him. You’d look cute, he’s certain. Adorable, even. You can’t leave. You can’t do anything. No one in town is going to let you work while pregnant, and every village auntie and uncle will have their eyes on you. Watching out for you. Watching you. Knowing that he’s the reason you’re tethered here, that he’s the one who snapped you back to reality and kept you here, that he’s the one you belong to. That’s what pregnancy really is, isn’t it? Ownership—using your body as a tool, forever changing it.

And then he realizes that your breasts look a little larger today. Your belly feels different—a little firmer. You normally have a smattering of acne around this time, too, somewhere on your body. Your face or your chest or your back, but there’s nothing. Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but it spurs him on nonetheless. You feel like you’re going to break in two with how rough he’s being, although moans spill from your lips anyway as your shame leaves you and you play with your clit.

Cloud puts his teeth to your neck as he feels pleasure run through your body. You contract around him, your chest and core tightening while your throat releases tiny, pathetic squeaks. He’s turned you into a trembling mess on your bed, probably permanently stained the same sheets you’ve had since you were a kid. The ones with unicorns and stars on them that you’ve always loved. He knows it’s awful of him to enjoy the sight, and awful of him to enjoy the thought of breeding you, but the pleasure from it outweighs any shame. The moment you mewl his name, he cums. He thrusts as deep as he can and uses his weight to keep you in place; he’s not going to let you waste a single drop.

“Cloud,” you eke out. You feel… warm. Very, very warm. You know this feeling—it happened recently when he said a condom broke. And you don’t remember him putting one on this time. “Cloud, Cloud!”

“What?” he snaps, resting his head against the crook of your neck.

“You had a condom on, right?” Your heart is racing again, but more from the acid that’s crawling up your throat than the feeling of his cock twitching inside of you. “Right?”

Cloud thrums and shifts; he pulls out a little, only to sink deeper inside of you again. You can feel his cum oozing out of you, dripping on to your precious pink sheets below. “Didn’t have one on me,” he mutters. “You’re on birth control, anyway. Doesn’t make a difference.” He reaches his hand up to squeeze your cheeks. “Don’t worry so much.”

You scowl up at your ceiling. You hate that it feels good; you chalk it up to some sort of primal instinct that tries to encourage reproduction. “Help me clean up, then,” you order, starting to push up on his chest. “And let’s pray my birth control is working.”

“No need,” he says, finally pulling away from you. “You know I’ll always take care of you. So quit worrying.”

“Easy for you to say. Come on, hurry up before anyone comes back.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Cloud is fortunate that you’re not very good at holding grudges, even though you try; you complain a bit when he pulls you on to his lap the next day, but ultimately give in. And the day after that. And the day after that. And on the day after that, it’s you that starts it, even inviting him to your room. While you recover on your floor, still annoyed about your sheets, he pretends to clean himself up in your bathroom.

You haven’t used any pads in a while. Your appetite is different lately. You’re hornier, for sure. And your breasts are definitely bigger; he grabs them enough that he’d notice even the slightest change. Your skin is still clear, too; he wonders if this is what people mean by the glow that people get when they’re pregnant. You must be pregnant. You have to be; there’s no other reason this would all be happening. Not like it’ll hurt to keep trying, just to be sure, up to the very last moment.

It’s the night before you leave, and you’ve invited him up to the water tower. You’re hiding behind it, staring down at the earth below like it’s going to swallow you up. You wish it would, especially when he wraps his arms around you from behind and places a kiss on your neck.

“Cloud,” you breathe, frozen in place. You don’t reciprocate his touch, but you at least don’t pull away either. One of his hands comes to rest on your belly, and it makes you feel like throwing up.

“Thought you’d want to go to bed early,” he says, rubbing a small circle over your stomach. “Tomorrow’s the big day, huh?” The bitterness in his voice is gone now. He knows what this is about.

“I… yeah…” You clear your throat. You have to just spit it out. You thought about dealing with it on your own—it’s not like there aren’t those kinds of options in the city. But you can’t. All your savings are gone, poured into your hopes and dreams in the city; your family wouldn’t lend you the money without a good enough explanation, and it just brought unwanted questions. Cloud was your last hope. “Cloud, I-I have something to tell you.”

You turn to face him, but you aren’t able to look him in the eye. Not now. Cloud looks you over as you struggle to piece together your next words. Loose dress. Messy hair. Tired eyes. Your lips are dry and chapped. If you weren’t about to tell him such wonderful news, he’d just bend you over here and now; it’s hard for him to resist you when you look so helpless.

“I’m pregnant,” you finally spit out. You sneak a glance at his face; his eyes are wide, but his lips have twitched into a smile. “I-I took a test. I took a lot of tests… I, um—you don’t have to—”

Cloud wraps his arms around you again. It’s comforting and scary at the same time. “You look terrified,” he says, stroking your frizzy hair. “Don’t be. I told you I’d take care of you.”

“Then… you’ll help me—”

“You’ll make a great mom, anyway,” he interjects, completely ignoring the question you wanted to ask. He knows exactly what it is, and he’ll tell you “no” if he really has to, but it’s easier to avoid that subject for now. He doesn’t have to worry, anyway. Who else will you turn to? The moment he announces it, you’ll have the whole town chaining you here. And the village aunties certainly won’t let you try anything. Your father definitely won’t let it go, and he’d force a marriage whether you’d like it or not. “We can get married. Probably soon before anyone starts talking.”

Fuck. Fuck. This was not how he was supposed to respond. You knew Cloud; you knew he was not fond of kids. If anyone was to grumble a bit and tell you to take some cash, head to a clinic, you thought it would be him. So what happened? Why was this man, who had never expressed any desire to be a family man or tied down in any way, suddenly talking about marriage, a child, and your family’s approval? Why did he look so happy, so smug?

“I still want to go to the city,” you manage to say, your voice as tremulous as your lower lip. “I want to get an education.”

Cloud laughs—a short, mocking laugh. “How are you gonna manage that now?” he teases. “You can’t do this alone. Maybe—maybe after. When the kid’s older.” It was a lie, but by then, you’d forget about it. You wouldn’t care about it anymore. You’d be broken in, like every other woman here. Except Tifa, maybe, and she was fortunately leaving very soon for her boyfriend in the city.

“Cloud,” you plead, finally looking into his eyes. He looks so fucking happy, and as angry as it makes you, you also know you can’t resist those puppy dog eyes.

“Be realistic,” he insists. “Your dad would lose his shit if you tried. It’s going to be okay; I’ll go over tomorrow and get permission, we’ll get married, and then we can tell everyone.” He would absolutely be letting it slip to a few of the biggest gossips in town, but you didn’t need to know that. As tears well in your eyes, he cups your face and lifts your hanging head again. “Relax. You don’t need to worry about anything now. I’ll always take care of you. You can just stay home with the kid.”

He’s right. Fuck. He’s right. You can’t get an abortion. You can’t run away. This town will grab you and drag you down—it already is. No one will let you leave with a child holding you here. In just a few minutes, you have been forced to watch all your hopes and dreams be swallowed up by the dirt of this town.

And he knows it. He’ll let you cry it out later. If you’ve calmed down, maybe he’ll let you sneak off and get an abortion—he’ll make up some lie to all the townsfolk. For now, at least, there’s no hope of you leaving. Even if you never truly accept that, he’ll just knock you up as many times as it takes for you to understand. He’ll keep you barefoot and pregnant, broken and tamed like so many other women here. You’re better off this way.

“It’s okay,” he murmurs as you cry your tears against his chest. “I’m here. You’re with me. That’s all that matters.”

Right. You had Cloud by your side through this. He’d do anything for you—and anything to you, if it meant you’d stay.

[justabigassnerd]

Lifeline

Pairing - Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x sister!reader

Word count - 4,537

Warnings - mentions of death, injuries, hospitals, angst, fluff

Song - Lifeline by Joshua Bassett

Summary - One of the only people Rooster has left gets in an accident resulting in a very panicked Bradley

A/N - So whaddup it's another Rooster fic (I am NOT sorry). I listened to Lifeline by Joshua Bassett on the way home from work one night and it inspired this fic. I lowkey hope this didn't turn out bad bc it took me so damn long to write aha. Anyways I'll stop rambling. As per y'all, please send in requests, feedback and enjoy!!

You and your brother only had each other. You were adopted into the Bradshaw family long after Goose died and just around Bradley’s seventeenth birthday. Carole had always wanted two kids, a boy, and a girl but after Goose died, she thought her plans were gone with the wind but a family friend of hers told her about a gorgeous baby girl in the adoption agency she worked for that needed a home. Carole spoke to Bradley about it, valuing her son’s opinion and when they both went to visit you, they both fell head over heels in love with you and adopted you as quick as they possibly could.

Just as Bradley was nearing the end of college and looked at reapplying for the Navy, hoping Maverick wouldn’t pull his papers again, Carole got sick. Everyone hoped she’d shake it but as time pressed on and she got sicker everyone started to accept the harsh realities of what was happening. Some people suggested that they take you in since you were still little, and they didn’t want Bradley to put his career on hold to raise his sister but he only let some family friends take you in for a year so he could pass his training and get settled into his job before requesting he stay in California to bring you up without having to move you around all the time. After all the loss the Bradshaw family had endured, you and Bradley learnt to lean on each other. After all, it was you and him against the world.

Now you were eighteen and in the midst of your senior year of high school. Bradley was now an instructor at Top Gun and the two of you were still as close as ever. You had never been afraid to tell your brother about things that upset or bothered you and Bradley always listened, making you feel heard and did his best to help you.

“I’m off to work. Don’t be late to school, drive safe.” Rooster says as he gathers his bag and slings it over his shoulder.

“I’m always safe. What time are you home tonight?” You call from the kitchen, occupied with making your breakfast.

“Depends on when Cyclone and Mav say I can leave. I’m teaching pretty much all of today, so I’d gamble I’ll be back around dinner time.” He replies, grabbing his keys and opening the front door.

“Okay, bye!” You say, poking your head around the door so you could say goodbye to your brother properly.

“Bye y/n/n, I’ll see you later.” He says with a smile before finally leaving through the door and allowing you to finish getting ready for school. When you’ve eaten your breakfast and made sure you have all the stuff you need for school in your bag you grab your keys and leave the house, getting into your car and starting the drive to school.

Once you arrive at school you are greeted by your friends who are all immediately stressing about the college applications you had sent off just the week prior, all anxious about what places will accept them or reject them. You try to mediate the fear by keeping your friends calm telling them to just worry about right now rather than worrying about something that’s out of control. After successfully calming your friends down, you figure it’s time to head into the school building and head to your homeroom to get the school day started.

The day was long and while you were ready to head home and collapse into your bed for a nap until you could make dinner, your friend Abi invited you and the rest of your friends around to hers to hang out for a bit. Given that the group of you hadn’t been able to hang out together for a while you all accepted, going to your car so you could give everyone a lift due to the fact you were the only one with a car out of all your friends. The drive, while not long, was filled with you all scream singing songs that the radio played until you reached Abi’s house. The four of you unload and head into the house, immediately heading for the living room where you settle on the sofa and find your favourite show to watch together and press play while Abi grabs some snacks. The four of you lounge around, enjoying each other’s company and exchanging silly comments and remarks about what the characters are doing on screen. When you next check the time, you sit up straighter, pushing the blanket back and standing up.

“Sorry guys, I should probably think about heading home. I’ll see you all tomorrow.” You say, laughing as your friends groan and toss pillows at you for leaving so soon but you simply wave goodbye and head out the door, climbing into your car and beginning the drive home. As you listen to the radio quietly playing under the rumble of the engine, you started to admire the views. You were lucky you grew up in a beautiful place, so you took any opportunities to admire your surroundings. As you reached a set of traffic lights, you celebrated quietly when the light turned green upon your approach but as you went across the gridlock, a car sped from the left side of your car, driving straight into the side of your car, making your world go dark and silent within seconds.

Rooster was finishing up the lecture he was giving to a new batch of Top Gun students when his phone buzzed. He quickly pulled it out of his pocket to see who was calling and when he didn’t recognise the number, he shoved his phone back in his pocket and continued to address the pilots. Just as he was beginning to dismiss the pilots the door to the hall burst open, revealing Maverick and Cyclone on the other side. All the trainee’s stood to attention as their superiors walked towards Rooster.

“You’re all dismissed.” Cyclone says to the recruits, his voice projecting clearly and sternly to the recruits who obey without a second thought, leaving the room as Maverick and Cyclone turn to face Rooster.

“Rooster. The hospital just called me. They said y/n got in an accident.” Maverick says and in a matter of seconds, Rooster’s world came crumbling down around him. He released a shuddering breath and barged past the two men, rushing through the base to get to his car. His thoughts were running a million and one miles an hour. That phone call must’ve been the hospital calling him. He scolded himself silently. He was so stupid why didn’t he pick up the phone? He was grateful that you had both him and Maverick down as emergency contacts otherwise he probably wouldn’t have known until god knows when. He curses angrily at the traffic jam he approaches, hand slamming on the wheel in frustration as he blinks back the tears building. He still didn’t know what had happened to you other than hearing you were in an accident, so his thoughts were going crazy. What if he got there and you were already gone? He couldn’t lose another family member. You were all he had left. When the traffic begins to move smoothly again, he gets to the hospital in what he dubs as record time, parking his car and entering the hospital in a rush. He practically runs up to the front desk.

“I’m here to see y/n Bradshaw. I got told she was brought in not too long ago.” Rooster says, almost leaning entirely over the desk to address the receptionist who looks up at him for a second before turning her attention back to her computer.

“Are you family?” She asks, typing on her computer before glancing up at him expectantly.

“Yes, I’m her brother.” Rooster replies hurriedly, fighting to keep the frustration from his tone but failing miserably. The receptionist types again on her computer before looking back up at him.

“You can go and wait in the waiting room. She’s being treated right now but I’ll inform someone, and they’ll come and get you when they’re done.” The receptionist says finally after typing one last thing into her computer. She gestured in the loose direction of the waiting room, and he followed her gesture to the room filled with people waiting to be seen by doctors or family members waiting to hear about their loved ones. Rooster sat down in one of the corners of the room, avoiding looking at anyone as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, seeing a bombardment of texts from everyone from Dagger Squad. Everyone was concerned about why he was seen storming out of work. Instead of replying to each individual text, he opened the group chat they had and sent what had happened and where he was. He hit send on the message and opened the text he got from Maverick asking if he was at the hospital and if he had any updates yet.

‘I’m at the hospital but they said she’s being treated. I can’t see her until she’s out. I’m scared, Mav.’

Rooster hit send on the message and leant back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling to try and will his tears to not escape from his eyes. He takes some slow deep breaths to try and remain calm, but his heart was hammering in fear. After a matter of minutes, his phone started buzzing intensely. He retracted the phone from his pocket and saw all his friends sending messages in response to his and then he noticed another message come through from Maverick.

‘I’m on my way, kid.’

Rooster felt a small amount of comfort from that one message and glanced around the waiting room, expecting Maverick to just appear out of thin air. It took about twenty minutes until Maverick entered the waiting room, locating Rooster and crossing to him. Maverick sat next to Rooster and turned to face him.

“Bradley…” Maverick says gently, the use of Rooster's name as opposed to his callsign made the tears he’d been holding in fall down his cheeks. Maverick wasted no time pulling him into a tight hug, squeezing him close as he feels the tears landing on his shoulder. Rooster’s whole body shook with sobs as he cried, clinging to Maverick like he was a terrified little boy again.

“What if I lose her, Mav? I can’t lose anyone else.” Rooster forces out through his cries, blinking the remainder of his tears away and pulling away from Maverick’s embrace and wiping his eyes furiously, looking away in embarrassment.

“That sister of yours is tough. We have to have faith that she’ll pull through.” Maverick says calmly although he too was worried about the severity of this accident. After Rooster takes some deep breaths to compose himself, he nods at Maverick’s words knowing that as much as he hated it, everything was out of his control, and he had to just have faith that everything would be okay. The two talk about anything and everything to try and keep their minds off how slowly time is passing when suddenly they hear a group of people coming and they were shocked to see Dagger Squad coming in, walking over to the two and ignoring the glares from everyone else in the waiting room. There weren’t enough seats for all of them to sit with Rooster and Maverick, so Hangman, Coyote and Phoenix decided to remain standing with their friends rather than finding somewhere else to sit.

“Have you gotten any updates?” Payback asks, looking over at Rooster as he shakes his head solemnly, glancing down at the floor.

“She’ll be alright, Bradshaw. That kid is a fighter. She’ll be back on her feet, kicking our asses in pool in no time.” Hangman says, his tone a lot gentler than anyone was used to hearing coming from him, but it was no secret that he held a soft spot for the youngest Bradshaw. Pretty much all of Dagger Squad had adopted you as their younger sister and they cared deeply for you so you being in hospital had all of them worried for you.

“Family of y/n Bradshaw?” The voice of a nurse has Rooster, Maverick and those of Dagger Squad who were sat down shooting out of their seats.

“I think just Rooster and Mav should go. They’ll fill us in.” Phoenix says, gesturing for everyone to sit down. Rooster and Maverick cross to the nurse, greeting him when they reach him. The nurse leads the two outside and to where a doctor was waiting. The doctor greets the two before bringing them into an office to have some privacy.

“They are just finishing treating y/n. She had some severe injuries when she came in. The car hit her side of the car, so we had to remove some glass and set some broken bones. She did suffer some head trauma so until she wakes up, we won’t know just how severe it is. We’ve moved her into a room, would you like me to take you up to her?” The doctor explains, reading through the charts on her clipboard before looking up at the two. Rooster nods while Maverick glances at Rooster.

“You go. I’ll let the others know what’s going on. Text me the room number when you’re there.” He says quietly, before turning and heading out of the office and into the waiting room to talk to Dagger Squad. Rooster follows the doctor to a lift and then follows her to your room where upon entry, more tears spring to his eyes at your state. Your left arm and leg were in a cast, and you had cuts and bruises littering your face and arms. Rooster pulled a chair up alongside your bed and took your right hand in his own, being mindful of the cannula in your hand. He was vaguely aware of the doctor letting herself out, but he didn’t remove his focus from you. He managed to force himself to take his eyes off you for but a moment so he could send Maverick your room number but the second his phone was off; his focus was back on you. He watched the steady rise and fall of your chest and listened to the repeated beeping from the heart monitor.

“I need you to pull through this, y/n/n.” He whispers to you, squeezing your hand for emphasis and despite the fact he knew you weren’t going to respond, it still crushed him.

As Maverick walked the hallway towards your hospital room, he kept praying in his head that you were going to make it. Maverick wasn’t a religious man, not by any means but if there was an afterlife or whatever people wanted to call it, Maverick had only two people in his mind he was praying to watch over you instead of any heavenly figure.

“Goose… Carole… you need to make sure y/n makes it. We can’t lose her too.” He mumbles to himself as he glances at the door numbers, still trying to find your room. When he locates your room, he enters and is greeted by the sight of Rooster sitting alongside your bed.

“The doctor caught all of us trying to come up to the room and said only two visitors at a time. We’ll take turns coming up here.” Maverick says gently, trying to bring some kind of comfort to Rooster. When Rooster doesn’t respond, Maverick pulls the other chair up alongside Rooster’s to be the support he needed right now.

Over the next day, Maverick and the rest of Dagger Squad would take it in turns being in the hospital room, not only to check on you but to make sure Rooster was okay. Everyone made sure to bring something to your hospital room, either something for you or something for your brother who hadn’t left your side. Hangman brought a bunch of flowers and left them on your bedside table. Bob brought a ‘get well soon’ card he got all of Dagger Squad to sign. Fanboy brought a teddy bear that sat alongside your flowers. Payback made sure to bring water for Rooster to drink while Phoenix would bring a meal from the hospital cafeteria up to him. She had attempted to bring in food from outside, but she got caught so had to resort to the hospital food. Maverick was always there for Rooster to talk to about whatever was worrying him. And every time Maverick approached the hospital room, he whispered a prayer up to Goose and Carole, asking them to watch over you.

On that evening you woke up, it was just you and Rooster in the room. You heard the beeping of the machines and gentle snoring before you opened your eyes, wincing at the brightness of the lights and the pounding in your head. You glanced to your side and saw your brother dozing lightly, his arms folded and his chin resting on his chest. You didn’t want to disturb him. He looked exhausted so you attempted to sit up slightly but exhaled sharply at the sudden pain, causing Rooster’s eyes to fly open.

“y/n?” He questions, trying to figure out if he’s dreaming or if this is real.

“Hey, B.” You say, smiling tiredly.

“How are you feeling?” He asks, knowing it’s a stupid question but he needed to know.

“Rough. My head hurts. The light is too bright.” You grumble, squinting when you make the mistake of glancing towards the light. Without hesitation, Rooster gets up and turns the light off, plunging the room into almost complete darkness with the only light filtering in through your window being the setting sun. Just as Rooster sits down by your side, a nurse walks in.

“It’s nice to see you awake, y/n. I’m just going to check you over and see how you’re doing if that’s okay with you.” The nurse says as you nod slowly, not enjoying the pain the motion gave you.

“Is your head giving you pain?” She asks, glancing down to make a note.

“Yeah, the light hurts my eyes, and my head is just pounding.” You admit, knowing nothing good will come from lying.

“Okay, we’ll try putting you on some different pain meds. When you were being treated, your doctors didn’t find anything of concern with your head injury, but we’ll be monitoring you just to be safe. Do you have any pain anywhere else?” The nurse asks, looking back up at you.

“Only if I move.” You say, hating the way you’re forced to just lie on your back.

“Well, I can only suggest staying still.” The nurse teases lightly, bringing a small smile to your face.

“Is there any way I could sit up slightly? I hate lying on my back like this.” You ask the nurse, your eyes pleading.

“We can try and adjust your bed but if there’s any discomfort, I expect you to tell us immediately.” She says, moving to pick up the remote for your bed and easing the side your head was at up. You hold a hand up to stop her when you’re sat up enough to satisfy you. You were relieved that no pain flooded through you at the motion, and you settled further into the pillow.

“I’m just going to grab those meds for you, okay?” The nurse confirms and when she leaves, you turn your attention back to your brother.

“How are you doing, B? You look rough. And that’s saying something.” You laugh lightly, stopping when he doesn’t even crack a smile at your joke.

“Not the time for jokes, y/n. I was scared shitless.” He says, sighing slightly as he shakes his head, still reeling from the whole ordeal.

“It’s not like I got in this accident just to scare you, Bradley. I don’t want to be here any more than you do.” You say, Rooster remained silent. He was always like this when he was emotional. He would choose to remain silent and stoic so no one could see that things were getting to him. He would bottle it up until he reached a breaking point and you always tried to get him to talk to you about it so he wouldn’t explode.

“Bradley?” You ask, hoping to get some sort of response from your brother. As you open your mouth to press him again, the door swings open and the nurse enters again with some meds in her arms.

“Alright, I have something that should help with those headaches of yours. I’ll just hook it up for you.” The nurse says cheerfully, oblivious to the slight awkwardness between you and Rooster.

“Thank you.” You say as she finishes hooking everything up.

“You’re welcome. You should get some rest. You should think about leaving, sir.” The nurse says, addressing you and then turning to Rooster.

“No. I’m staying. If that’s okay.” He says quickly, the nurse looked slightly taken aback by Rooster’s outburst but ultimately nodded.

“Okay, you can stay. Would you like me to set up a bed for you?” She replies but Rooster just shakes his head thanking the nurse but informing her he’ll be fine where he is.

“Well just come and get me if you change your mind. I’ll leave you two be now.” She says with a smile before leaving. When she’s gone you turn your head to look at your brother.

“I agree with the nurse. You should get some rest.” Rooster says as you nod slightly, feeling minor tiredness creeping up on you and you could only guess it was because of the meds.

“Only if you get some rest too. Something’s telling me you’ve slept a grand total of ten minutes since you got here.” You say and you could tell from his expression that you hit the nail right on the head.

“I’ll be fine, kid.” He says dismissively once he collects himself.

“But you won’t be if you don’t rest. You need to rest. So why won’t you?” You ask, the worry and confusion on your face making Rooster’s expression soften, he didn’t want to upset you.

“I’m just scared.” He admits, lowing his head in embarrassment and fixing his eyes on his lap.

“Scared of what?” You press gently, sitting up slightly, ignoring the small spark of pain that shoots through you.

“I’m scared that if I close my eyes, something might happen to you.” He manages to say, blinking the tears away and still not daring to look up at you.

“Look at me, B.” Your gentle voice encourages, wanting to do nothing more than to comfort your brother. He’d always been there for you growing up, so you wanted to return the favour.

“I’m not saying goodbye this soon. I’m going to be fine tonight. I got my big brother by my side and that’s all I need. I’ll be okay.” You say, a soft smile on your face as you grab his hand. Your smile widened when your brother finally looked up and made eye contact with you.

“I’ll be fine.” You repeat, squeezing his hand lightly as he nods carefully.

“Promise you’ll wake me up if anything happens.” He asks, and you hum in acknowledgement.

“If I wake up with even the slightest amount of pain, I’ll let you know. Promise.” You say, watching as a small smile finally graces your brother's face.

“Thank you. Now, get some rest y/n/n.” He says as you yawn and settle back on the pillows.

“You better get some rest too otherwise I’ll kick your ass.” You mumble, letting your eyes close as Rooster lets out a soft laugh.

“I promise I’ll get some rest. I love you, y/n/n.” He replies, smiling as you snuggle into the pillow.

“I love you too, B.” You mutter before allowing sleep to beckon you. Your breaths becoming slow and deep within seconds. Rooster watches you for a minute before folding his arms and resting his chin against his chest once more and allowing his tired eyes to close, welcoming sleep as it comes.

Rooster was awoken the next morning by all his friends entering and when he looked over at them confused, they were quick to explain.

“The nurse let us all come up. We must’ve bugged them so much yesterday that they just gave in this morning.” Fanboy explains, a shit-eating grin on his face that the naval aviators were able to get what they wanted.

“How’s she doing?” Phoenix asks, looking from where you were laid asleep peacefully to where Rooster was sat, handing him a granola bar to eat.

“She woke up last night. She’s doing okay.” Rooster says with a smile, feeling well rested and more optimistic. The news made everyone start chattering excitedly despite Maverick, Rooster, and Bob’s attempts to keep them quiet.

“Guys, come on she’s still asleep.” Bob pleads, feeling bad that the entire group has burst in and started making a racket.

“I was asleep until Fanboy started talking. His inside voice is any normal person’s outside voice.” Your tired voice has every head snapping to look at you as you peel your eyes open and smile.

“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” Maverick asks, approaching your bedside and brushing a loose piece of hair away from your face.

“Feeling good, Mav.” You say, grinning up at your godfather as he smiles back, pressing a kiss to your forehead before moving away to allow the others to say hi.

“You’re one tough kid aren’t you, Bradshaw?” Hangman teases, ruffling your hair as you laugh, swatting at his hand.

“Sorry, Jake. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” You fire back as he shakes his head, chuckling before the others push him aside to talk to you. You spent time talking to all the members of Dagger Squad as Maverick and Rooster watched on with a fond smile as you asked the team to sign either the cast on your arm or leg. Both Rooster and Maverick were overjoyed that you were doing better, and they could hope that you’d be able to come home soon and that you’d be back to doing the things you love.

Bradley Bradshaw had already lost so much in his life so the time you were unconscious in the hospital bed were the most painful hours of his life. Wondering if he was about to add his little sister to the list of people he’s lost in his lifetime. He’d never been so relieved to see you awake in his life when you finally did. He vowed from that moment on that he was never going to take any moments with any of his loved ones for granted. He wanted to appreciate every moment he had with those he cared for in case something like this happened again. But for now, instead of dwelling on what could have been, he found himself smiling at the fact you’d be around to be his pain in the ass baby sister a bit longer.

[freshbakedbreadstick]

No. 1 Party Anthem - Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader - Chapter Six

Past!Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader

Carmy Berzatto x F!Platonic!Reader

Richie Jerimovich x F!Platonic!Reader

Summary: The human mind is a very scary thing.

Warnings:  All my fics are 18+ regardless of the content. Heavy spoilers. Mentions of death, funerals, grief, angst, strained relationships, minor injuries, arguments/yelling matches, details of anxiety/panic attacks, bad coping mechanisms, mental health issues, running away, addiction, interventions, al-anon. Depiction of a gun and implication of suicide in a portion, not graphic but heavily implied/hinted at during a possibly distressing nightmare sequence.

Word Count: 3.4k

A/N: A little late bc i just moved into my dorm for the year <3 its been quite the adjustment so i took a bit of time to myself to just relax and get used to things ! ! ! Anyways today was my first day of class and it went SO GOOD ! ! ! ! Im so excited for the semester and the school year in general ily all sm have a slay day besties ! Also this is just angst again im sorry i swear it will get better at some point but probably not nowwwww 😭

Taglist: @marysucks-blog @shinebright2000 @jadeittic @eternallyvenus (MWAH <3 )

Masterlist

You stood in the back of the room, leaning against the wall and wearing some sunglasses you dug out from your bag. Your arms were crossed and your face was neutral but, behind those dark frames you wore, your eyes darted back and forth between each person who sat in the chairs around the circle and to Amanda, the leader of this Al-Anon meeting. 

Some were at ease, sharing freely and even throwing jokes in between their talks, while others sat stiffly and managed to get up on their shaky legs and share their own narratives. 

But somehow, none of them judged one another. 

Beside you stood your mom, gripping her purse straps so tightly that you could see the straps bending in her grip. She tapped her foot softly on the linoleum, smiling empathetically to each person and applauding politely when needed. But every once in a while, she would glance over at you and look away quickly, shoulder slumping and smile fading. 

Your lips formed a line as you continued to look as neutral as possible, staring as the meeting started to get wrapped up. Amanda spoke to everyone, clasping her hands together before waving everyone off with a soft smile. 

Everyone got up from their chairs, some joining one another to talk while others moved toward the door a couple feet away from you. They passed by you, most not really turning to you while a couple politely nodded and left. 

But as the room started to get emptier and emptier, that scared-nauseous feeling came back in full force when your mother put a hand on your forearm and looked over at Amanda. 

“You know, Natalie was the one who recommended me to take you to some Al-Anon meetings… but it was Carmy who told me to take you to one after you ran out…”

You glanced over at your mom, eyebrows furrowing. 

“Why?”

Your question was both a rhetorical and actual one. Part of you was confused as to why Carmy was the one who spoke to your mom about the argument at The Beef earlier. Carmy was the person who didn’t bother to show up to Mikey’s funeral and refused to reach out to those who tried to contact him, so why would he even bother to care about you facing your own feelings about this situation?

But another part of you was touched. 

Carmy was the kid brother who would follow you and Natalie around when you were in middle school. When you were in high school and started to date Mikey, Carmy was the kid that you would playfully bother when Mikey wasn’t giving you attention. As an adult, Carmy was your sense of peace whenever he was around, providing you with a much needed distraction during Berzatto family gatherings when he would finally open up (after much pestering on your part) about his own life away from Chicago. And while it seemed like that sense of peace was gone as he got farther and farther away from everyone, this news made you realize that it had never left. 

He still wanted to give you that peace you desperately needed when it came to his family. 

Your mom turned to look at you and gently reached up to take your sunglasses off. She looked into your eyes, seeing the way the bags under your eyes looked darker while you both stood in the corner of the room. 

With a heavy sigh, she responded, “Carmy told me that he had just started to attend some meetings himself. Natalie told him over and over to go to some but he… he hadn’t gone until now. And when he heard the news that you came back, he jumped to tell me about taking you. Especially when he saw your erratic behavior, he knew you wouldn’t go unless we were the ones who took you.”

You looked away, arms falling to your sides. 

“Please give it a try, please… you know that Mikey wouldn’t want you stressed out like this…”

Your chest tightened, “I… I don’t know what Mikey would’ve wanted anymore.”

Amanda called your name as she began walking over to you, making you quickly rub your eyes and look at her, “Hey you two, how are you feeling about possibly coming to a session?”

You shrugged and looked to the floor, “I’ll have to think about it but… I might.”

Amanda smiled and nodded, “I know this is a huge first step and I understand that you need time to think about it. Our next session will be in two days, you're free to join us if you would like to. And, you're free to bring someone for support.”

You nodded and glanced at your mom, seeing her smile at you from the corner of your eye. 

You soon found yourself back in your car, packed haphazardly full of your stuff, and looking out of the passenger’s seat window. 

You leaned your head onto the glass as your eyes looked out the window at the way the sky started to turn from blue to orange. By the time you got home, the sky was filled up with colors similar to the ones you saw while sitting on the hood of your car all those months ago. 

The car slowly pulled into the driveway and standing on the sidewalk, with his hands in his pocket, was your dad. He waved and smiled sadly, making you sigh and look away. You could feel the way your cheeks began to burn and your chest tightened. 

Silently, he approached the car and opened the trunk. You passed by him, watching him begin to start to unpack the trunk that held the boxes of your life, one by one. 

The three of you, in silence, emptied the entirety of your car. Any of the boxes and other belongings you had previously kept there were now placed in your room, each getting a designated spot and most getting unpacked completely. 

The way that everything just seemed to fall into place in your own childhood bedroom made you shiver and walk away as your parents continued organizing. 

In the dark hallway, you paced. Your fingers busied themselves with picking the skin of your bottom lip, leaving it raw and sting whenever your tongue ran over it. It wasn’t until your parents came back out that you managed to get yourself to pause, ignoring the way it stung.

Your mom smiled sympathetically and passed you, placing her arm comfortingly on your shoulder. You dad though, he paused and let your mom get downstairs and away from the two of you before he spoke up, “Some habits are hard to break, I know that, but staying here for a while will be good for you, okay honey? I love you so much, we all do, and we want you to stay.” 

Your eyes stung a bit, making you flutter your eyelids to stop any tears from forming, “Okay… I think… okay.”

Your dad wrapped his arms around you and hugged you. His arms squeezed around you, tight, as if you were going to fall into pieces if he didn’t hold onto you hard enough. You winced and he did so, but let him hold onto you. 

“Your my little girl and I would,” He began to speak again, pausing as his voice cracked to clear his throat before continuing, “Your mother and I would never be the same if anything happened to you. We love you so much.”

“Love you too, Dad.” 

As you watched him go down the dark hallway and down the stairs, you felt your lips sting as you began to taste a salty wetness. The decision was done: you would stay here for however long it took to heal and would attend the Al-Anon meetings in the meantime.

Now that this major decision was made, it was time for another. 

“Time to fix my fuck up,” you mumbled to yourself.

Later that night, after you had dinner and began to unwind for the night, you went over and sat on your bed. After washing the day’s bad choices and tears down the drain, you had changed into something comfortable for bed. You hummed, feeling satisfied with the soft clothes you wore that you completely forgot you even had, thankfully your parents’ unpacking and organizing allowed you to find them easily and happily. 

With an exhausted groan, your back hit the plush mattress. You bounced softly for a second before wiggling around to get comfortable before pulling the blankets onto your body. With a glance to the ceiling, you began to think.

You had messed up majorly with Carmy, Sugar, and Richie; well, with the entirety of The Beef. You knew that you definitely needed to apologize and try to make things right, especially considering that you would be staying here now and could run into them. You might be the type of person to flee in the face of trouble, but you knew that not apologizing would sour your relationship with them even more than it already is. 

And while it was a bit overwhelming to be around them now, you did miss them. 

Showing up and just apologizing en masse made you cringe a little. You knew that Carmy probably wouldn’t receive that well, he was stubborn and held onto anger so this wouldn’t just be an easy thing to forgive for him. Richie would be a bit hesitant to show vulnerability in front of everyone so the tough and funny guy act would be brought up, and that wouldn’t feel like you properly apologized to him. And Sugar… she would take your apology in a heartbeat but… you didn’t want her to. She was tough when she wanted to be but was always too kind with you. You didn’t just want this to be a forgive and forget moment for her, you wanted her to be upset with you and let you work on gaining her forgiveness.

“I can’t let her be a doormat…” you whispered to yourself. 

But while you laid there, on the soft mattress of your childhood bedroom, the cocoon of blankets and fresh air that made it perfect to get all snuggled up started to work against you. The warm plushness made your thoughts get blurrier and your eyes droop and while your breathing got deeper and deeper, your body gave in to sleep. 

You narrowed your eyes at the orange sun, letting yourself blink until your eyes got adjusted to the room. You then looked around and gasped when you realized where you were. 

You were back in the kitchen of the place you and Mikey lived in together. The bright setting sun had come from the giant window of the kitchen, the window that overlooked the streets and had a view of the city, the exact window that made you and Mikey decide to rent this place in the first place. 

Everything looked and felt hazey, half drowned in the warm yellow lighting of the sun. As you looked down at your hands, you saw them also overlaid with the sun, feeling warm and looking… healthy. 

Someone started humming behind you, voice deep. You whipped your head around to see who it was and was faced with the back of a tall, broad man. 

He wore a black shirt that stretched over his muscular body. As your eyes wandered up his form, you noticed the attractive and slightly messy dark hair that was on his head.

“Baby?”

Your heart stopped. 

You began to stumble backward, gasping giant gulps of air as your eyes zeroed in on the man in front of you. Slowly, he began to turn around, and give you a good look of himself.

His dark brown eyes focused on you. His eyebrows creased together as he watched you reel back, almost falling to the floor.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

You let out a strangled cry as he began to move forward, reaching his toned arm out to grab you. You froze, eyes trained on his large hand as it came closer and closer to your skin. You squeezed them shut, terrified. 

His hand felt warm as it gently wrapped around your own. 

You felt yourself being gently guided up and forward. The hand then let go of you and an arm wrapped around your body, resting the hand against the small of your back. Another hand wrapped around you on the opposite side and you were pulled close against a broad chest. 

You could feel the way his relaxed heart was beating, unlike your own racing one.

“Mikey…” you whispered in a broken breath, eyes still clamped shut. 

Your entire body was stiff as a board as you stood there, but it began to betray you and give in to the person in front of you.

“Look at me baby,” The voice said, rumbling but calm.

With a sharp inhale, you began to blink your eyes open. You looked at the face in front of you, your own eyes connecting to those dark eyes you missed so much.

“Mikey… is it really you?”

You felt a deep rumble in his chest, followed by the twinkling of his laugh. He threw his head back, letting his unruly hair flutter as he moved. 

“Yes baby, it’s me. Who the hell else would it be?” He smiled at you, letting his eyes half lid as he looked at you. 

“But… but you…” you began, but were quickly interrupted. 

“Come here babydoll, come try this for me.”

He moved away from you and ushered you forward with one arm, but regardless, you had no choice as the other arm that was still wrapped around your waist pulled you close into his side. Your body slotted against him, as if the missing piece to his puzzle. 

You watched as Mikey dipped a finger into the giant pot of sauce that was bubbling on the stove and you slowly began to smell the scent of roasted garlic and fresh basil, straight from the pot you had growing on the windowsill. 

He gently blew on his finger as steam rose from the sauce, he slowly brought it up to your lips, pausing just before he would touch them to look at you in the eyes again. 

“Go on baby, try it and tell me what you think.”

You gulped and parted your lips. Leaning forward, your mouth encased his finger. As your tongue hit the sauce, your eyes shot wide open.

A multitude of flavors exploded in your mouth, all so familiar. That made your knees buckle. 

With a laugh, Mikey caught you before you went down, taking his finger from your mouth and wrapping both arms around you again. He carefully lifted you up and placed you on the empty kitchen island to sit.

“Was it that good? How come you don’t react like that every other time I make it, hmm?” Teasingly, he smirked at you and turned away to wash his hands.

But all you could do was sit there, stone cold, and in shock. No matter how many times you swallowed, the taste of fresh sauce with a ton of garlic, basil, and San Marzano tomatoes would still linger on your tongue. A sauce that Mikey would make, claiming to be a recipe that only he could make perfectly, for family spaghetti night. 

His voice interrupted your thoughts, bringing you back to where you sat, “Do you think it needs anything? I wanna make sure it’s perfect before Carmy, Sugar, and Richie get here.”

You coughed and shook your head rapidly, unsure what to do but along with it, “Yea it’s, it’s perfect, my love.”

You paused, eyes wide again. A slip of the tongue. You hadn’t said “my love” for such a long time that it felt foreign coming from your mouth, despite it being a nickname you commonly used for Mikey.

But Mikey either didn’t seem to notice or didn’t seem to care when you said that. He just beamed and turned back around to stir the pot for a second. 

As you gathered yourself on that counter, you looked around again. Everything was… everything was exactly like how you left it. The pots and pans were in their usual spots, the curtains were drawn just the way you liked them, and every framed photo in the house showed you and Mikey, grinning and holding onto one another. 

You were home. 

But you knew you weren’t supposed to be here.

“Give me a second babydoll, i’ll be right back.”

Your head whipped around to look at Mikey as he stood in front of you. He smiled and reached over, kissing your temple, before walking off in the direction of the bathroom with a hand in his pocket. 

Once he disappeared, you immediately threw yourself off the kitchen island. 

Your hands immediately went to the back of your neck, holding onto it as your eyes raced over everything. 

“What the fuck am i doing here?!”

Everything around you was perfectly in place, as if untouched by time.

The world around you spun as you threw your body around, desperately trying to find something that would prove that something was wrong. But alas, everything seemed okay. 

You were too terrified to open any drawers or touch anything, so all you could do was hyperventilate and turn around over and over and over, scanning the walls to see the photographs you knew you buried under boxes and decorations you tried but failed to throw out.

Suddenly a phone began to ring. 

You froze.

There was no phone in the kitchen, nor the living room, or anywhere else in the house. But there was a phone whose ringing sounded exactly like this one’s; the phone in your parent’s house. 

It was an analog, rotary style phone that rested on a table in the hallway of your parent’s house. This hallway led the front door to the living room and had picture frames of you and your family throughout the years. Next to the table with this phone was a small, single sofa chair/

A chill went down your spine as tears began to sting your eyes.

This was the phone you found out about Mikey’s death. And that chair was the one you collapsed on before screaming.

The ringing stopped. Then, Mikey’s voice echoed from the other room, calling you. 

Hesitantly, you turned to the direction you heard his voice. 

He called your name again, but this time, he beckoned you over.

“Come here for a second baby!”

You stared at the empty doorway where you watched him leave. From that direction, his voice called your name out again. 

As your foot slowly inched forward, you held your breath. 

“I just need you real quick, come over here!”

Your footsteps were silent as you stepped forward, closer to the sound of his voice and to the doorway that led from your kitchen and dining room to the hall. 

His voice got louder and louder as you slowly rounded the doorway, continuing to call you.

Down the hall and in front of you was the bathroom door, wide open. There stood Mikey, back towards you, standing in the dimly lit hallway and dark bathroom.

Now, he was silent and still. 

With a quiet and shaky voice, you managed to whisper out, “Mikey?”

You heard a click coming from him, coming from his hand. When you looked down, you saw metal.

“I'm sorry babydoll.”

Your body jerked up with a strangled cry. You ripped the blankets from your body and threw yourself out of bed, falling straight to the floor with a loud thud. 

Your knees ached and your palms did too as you hit the floor, but you didn’t care. In that moment, all you could think about was what you saw. All you could think about was the shine of the metal.

As a loud cry escaped your shaking body, your door swung open to reveal your alarmed parents. They called your name, rushing forward to hold you as you sobbed and screamed only for their alarmed questions weren’t heard as you continued to see the glint of the metal, despite it not being there.

[myshredda]

It was negative nine degrees today where I live and my mom still pulled us out to an outdoor ice rink for a couple hours. Bc when she buys tickets, we’re using the tickets, damn it! But I figured duck would be like that too lol He spent money on it so it would be a waste not to go!

All the little ones get bundled up. I’m talking two pairs of socks, five pairs of pants, two sweaters, coat, boots, scarf, two pairs of gloves and two hats until duck even thinks of letting them out. Red says this seems like a lot of work for smth that will probably make everyone miserable but duck just screams that they’re going lol

They get there and it’s chaos lol No one knows how to skate except duck so they’re all just conga lining behind him. Eventually he gets fed up w their falling and wobbling, throwing him off balance, so they rent a bunch of those little walker-like things that the kids can hold onto as they skate around. Unfortunately they don’t have one in reds size so he’s basically stuck to the wall the whole time lol

Green and pink pick it up pretty easily after that and leave the walkers behind. They still fall a lot but are able to follow after duck like little ducklings lol Yellow keeps calling after them “wait up, I’m coming!” but even w the support, he’s falling every two seconds. Duck screams at red “eugh, get off the wall and go help your son!”

Once he manages to drag himself over to yellow, red sees a lot of other parents pushing their kids while they just hold onto the walkers. He tries that but he’s bent over so much and is already terrible at skating, it just makes both of them fall more. But at least yellow isn’t so upset now… bc he’s too busy laughing at red failing miserably at standing up again lol

In the end they get hot chocolate and freshly baked doughnuts and as soon as they get home, everybody crashes lol Just falls asleep on the couch

(Also merry Christmas)

I answered this late but merry christmas!!!!!

LOVE them going on fun family outings and being chaotic in public together, it's so fun to imagine them being menaces but as a loving clump 💗

Duck demanding that they go to the Ice Rink because he already spent money on it reminds me all the world of Lois from Malcolm in the Middle making them all go to the zoo because she had a coupon for it, which again links into my 'Red and Duck are a weird mix of Hal and Lois/Bob and Linda hfeheh) All of the kids probably have varying levels of discomfort with restrictive clothes (bc children + autistic) and they're like "WELL RED DOESN'T HAVE TO WEAR CLOTHES" which results in Duck forcing Red to wear his scarf and jacket and mittens for once (which he grouchily accepts) and ends in him screeching that "EVERYONE IS WEARING CLOTHES AND THATS FINAL" the usual family trip shit lmao

THE IMAGERY OF THEM FOLLOWING DUCK LIKE DUCKLINGS HAS ME SCREAMING AND CRYINGGGGG (with Red bringing up the back of course) and I think Pink and Green would definitely pick up on it pretty quick and start dashing around and trying to race each other. Red's a hopeless case, and Yellow's absolute lack of balance on solid ground would render him USELESS on the ice for real.

Yellow trying to keep up and failing oh NO my baby 🥺🥺🥺 Him and Red being terrible together and Red's back giving out when bending over and scooting Yellow along the ice is so real. SO REAL. Duck eventually comes by and takes a turn with Yellow so Red can stand up straight and he just grips the wall and rethinks his entire life while the other patrons give him a wide berth because he's making this face

and Duck finally gets the memo and gathers the kids to go get cocoa and donuts and they're all having a WONDERFUL time and Red's FEET HURT and his BACK HURTS and he's DAMP and COLD and Duck holds his hand on the way home and his brain short circuits and he's suddenly had the best day of his entire life and they all just collapse on the suddenly appearing couch (which is larger now thank you attic milf) and in the morning they have to do laundry and shower because they're all RANK 💖💖💖💖💖

[thatwasntlikeridingabikeuasshole]

I'm so pissed so today we were supposed to have our big christmas gathering with our while extended family and they were supposed to all show up in the morning and we would all have breakfast and do presents and then hang out all day and theyd come to see my show in the evening

Now my grandparents aren't coming (health issues not their fault not pissed at them but still a bummer)

My aunt and cousins arent showing up til 3 just bc they got a slow start this morning (???????) and my other aunt and cousin (because her husband and other kid are not coming) decided to show up at the same time even though their drive is shorter and they could simply come earlier

And nobody got the presents ready for each other so now it's just our presents for the little kids bc we want to wait to exchange presents with everyone else until they're ready and aren't actually going to open them together which takes away pretty much all the fun

So now it's gone from big family gathering for Christmas to a handful of people showing up in the late afternoon, hanging out for a couple hours before my call time, and then me leaving and them coming to see the show, and then them all leaving in the morning. Like I'm glad they're gonna be here for the show and for a couple hours before but it all went to shit and I'm pissed off

[ess-presso]

hello ess !

that fic rec sounds wonderful im v excited to read :) my turn: paper rings by apricusapollo (zar just reblogged this rec so maybe u already saw it but it sounds so good) but for good measure heres another: 10 things i (dont) hate about you by kjms (jegulus 10 things i hate about you au)

tay time <3 i almost do, today was a fairytale, & forever & always !

chatty time!

that line about harry becoming RAPIDLY obsessed with draco will never not make me feel insane. how did jkr (derogatory) even write that it sounds like something from a fic fr.

your star converse sound so cool, i think ive seen someone wearing the same ones around and they were so cute. i love them

i love the trojan horse & the story of troy too <3 it was prob one of the first myths i learned and the rest is history. also did u know that some people thought the trojan horse was REAL? like. people in my GREEK MYTHOLOGY course. maybe thts just a common misconception or something but idk. i find it very funny

little women 2019 is SO good. i love the entire cast sm and the vibes are just astronomical.

jumanji is SO fucking funny. ill never not lose my shit at the weapons valet part its just. so dumb i love it

americans being a novelty there is SO funny. youd think that they wouldnt be here in canada but oh. they so are. i think a lot of americans (at least west coast americans where our accents are fairly similar) think canadians are like. identical to them. but that is so wrong we habitually will make fun of anyone with an american license plate up in canada.

my cats! the oldest is named pixie. (she was really tiny when we got her & i was obsessed with fairies when i was younger lol) and ive had her since kindergarten. so like a LONG time. shes a mean old lady now but i love her. the other two are siblings! theyre a few years old but still act like kittens & their names are mike and el (yes after the stranger things characters i dont wanna talk about it) which is very unfitting because the cats are SIBLINGs but the characters are in a relationship. (for the record i suggested artemis and apollo as names but was swiftly shut down. i have a family of haters)

and yes we dont get snow here. at least my part of canada. i live at pretty much sea-level on the coast so its just rain sadly. but pretty much like. every other part of canada will see snow in the winter at some point or another !

and pansy x percy? wait i kinda love that. never wouldve thought of them together but they actually sound cute.

fuck james marry sirius and KILL remus?? honestly respect. (and "mummy's got a job to do" REAL LMAO)

and omg starting with the silmarillion? that is BOLD. i havent even touched that book yet. from what ive gathered via osmosis i think it can almost be read as an encyclopedia for tolkien's world. so its just a lot. godspeed with that!

and yes. the shadowhunters chronicles is based on hp fanfic. BUT i read somewhere it was actually draco x ginny so every day i pray thats true. (hey another rarepair) but fear not the series is actually good. and theres like a million sequel & prequel series within it so you dont really have time to think about the incest .

and yes podg! the movie with ben barnes is a HORRIBLE adaptation. like its so different from the book so beware. but its still mildly entertaining bc ben barnes is gorgeous so.

"drunk procrastinator" being ur movie title is so real. cue me every weekend when i have a big paper to write or something.

and yes! cats! you should get one. they will change your life i swear.

the amortentia trope is SO good. i eat it up every time. same with the veritaserum. bonus points if theyre doing a veritaserum drinking game/truth or dare>>>

thats actually a pretty useful weird talent. running late and need breakfast? cereal.

and yes! thats a gas station order! your best friend being your chauffeur REAL. i dont drive so my best friend is my chauffeur & im the gps & dj.

poppies & lavender are so nice. i have a ton of lavender in my garden and its so nice in the summer when it blooms. hydrangeas are so pretty too. the colours are absolutely gorgeous

pluto! i love pluto sm. one of my fav planets (i refuse to say dwarf planet. shes not a dwarf in my heart shes huge) aside from maybe neptune.

and oh my god. a phone call during a funeral? the ring tone being BABY GOT BACK? idk how you survived. i would have been mortified i could never show my face again.

saxophone is so nice. sometimes all you need is some smooth jazz and a massive glass of wine or something.

answering questions time:

poutine! omg im so glad you asked me this question. in short its just french fries covered in gravy and cheese curds. a lot of people think it sounds gross/think it looks gross (it does look...questionable sometimes) but i SWEAR its so good. very good comfort food & and strangely good when you go to the movies.

unpopular marauders opinion......hmm. maybe that barty would be well suited as a ravenclaw? i know his house has never been confirmed but he canonically got 12 OWLS so the boy is SMART plus he SLAYED being the DADA prof. (not that other houses arent smart. u know what i mean) (but i still love him in the slytherin gang. they have my whole heart)

unpopular opinion about life: its okay to be weird and just silly sometimes. some people are just so caught up in being "normal" that they forget that we're all just. people. like its okay to be silly and live our lives the way we want! (maybe not an unpopular opinion but i know there are people out there that are just. really stuck up & could do well to remember this LOL)

dream car - i dont drive so IDK LOL but ive always liked colourful cars. like give me a bright red or forest green or cobalt blue car. theres a SEVERE lack of colourful cars on the road nowadays its so sad.

i havent seen the apprentice! i dont watch a lot of reality tv in general but from what youve told me about it i might have to check it out cause it sounds entertaining.

i totally believe in soulmates both platonic and romantic. like theres gonna be people you meet in your life that youll click with instantly and theyll become a part of u in a way even if you drift apart etc. like my best friend is prob my platonic soulmate. ive known her for quite literally my entire life (i think i was only a few months old when i met her) and shes literally my sister .

hidden talent: maybe not exactly a hidden talent but im really good at geoguessr ! oh also i can untie almost any knot. i guess thats more of a hidden talent. kinda useless but really handy when my converse laces arent cooperating.💪

favourite villain: prob either loki or darth vader. in a way theyre both anti-heros and i personally love morally grey characters so🫶

ive never had my heart broken! i probably internalized effy's "nobody breaks my heart" from skins too much so. i simply dont let myself get close enough to people so i dont get hurt. works every time👍

ever broken a heart: i think i did indirectly whoops. but luckily only once. long story short one of my friends liked me on & off during high school, i got confrontational while heavily under the influence and told him i didnt like him that way. he DID ignore me for the rest of the year but yeah. the rest is history. i think he came out as gay recently so. good for him!

your question time!

favourite greek god/goddess?

fav marauders fancast(s)?

hogwarts house?

fav greek myth(s)?

soldier, poet, king? (praying youve seen this trend)

one thing you cannot leave the house without?

if you were from the percy jackson universe who would be your godly parent?

top 5 albums of all time?

do you believe in soulmates?

thats all for now. talk to u again very soon🕺

-bee

bee bee bee hello i missed you n i love u <333

on god , i love these type of stories that are partly based on taylor songs . paper rings is one of my favourites on lover , so this is going into my marked for later ! & i love 10 things I hate about you too !!!! (cameron is my favourite character . HE LEARNT FRENCH FOR HER!!!) your fics recs are absolutely stellar!!!

here’s one for you - (‘unbreakable heaven by sequin haze’ - based on ‘Cruel Summer’ , ft friend-with-benefits Jegulus & trans regulus !!! )

tay tay -

i almost do - WOLFSTAR - i think of it as wolfstar because to me it’s basically sirius to remus while he’s in azkaban ‘i bet sometimes you wonder ‘bout me’. And i very much think that remus has dreams about sirius touching his face and asking him to try over again , and remus is 🤏 this close to saying ‘okay’.

today was a fairytale - JILY - i think it’s so inexplicably joly after their first date !!! ‘this magic in the air // must have been the way you kissed me’ that to me is their thoughts in canon, after they kissed for the first time on their date. (also james’s smile would so take lily to another planet , just saying)

forever & always - JEGULUS - I can just imagine james telling reg ‘forever and always’ and then reg being in his head like ‘you promised me forever’ and james going away like a ‘scared little boy’ because reg got the mark. it hurts my poor little jegulus heart.

chatting <333 -

ISN’T IT ??? the woman was so concerned about making her characters at hetero as possible that she just made them gay squared. (and the amount of people i’ve seen asking for the fic when this quote is in a tt. like , babe , no it’s from the og books .)

I LOVE MY STAR CONVERSE TOO !!! very cute indeed they’re amazing . (still my red ones beat everyone and everything >>>)

people think the horse is real ?? like do they really have that little faith in the human race?? in the middle of the war being like ‘wow there’s a giant horse at the door of my city ! this isn’t suspicious at all , let me bring it in !’ is something someone would actually do 💀💀💀. like bro no , give homer his credit.

I LOVE LITTLE WOMEN SM TOO. I watched it for emma , and i came out in love with timmy & flo.

jumanji is honestly such a comfort watch it’s one of my forever favourites.

nah americans are genuinely so annoying sometimes. like especially the piss annoying tourists , always standing in the way. like i’ve heard too many of them correct the way brits pronounce things ( honey , it’s aloominum not aluminium. STFU BITCH) and when they start talking so you talk back and ask where they’re from , why they always say ‘dallas , texas.’ like bro was giving me her gps location , why not just say ‘america’ ??? (the worst one was when i saw someone say that ‘the ancients didn’t build stonehenge aesthetically’)

PIXIE , MIKE AND EL???? THAT’S SO CUTE AND ADORABLE OH MY GOD. (i agree artemis and apollo would’ve been a fucking amazing name.your family just don’t get it.) my friend actually has a cat named pixie who is also a mean old lady!! this pixie fuckin hates me she tried to scratch my guts out once. but i think she’s warming up to me now , because she took 10seconds to do that last time instead of her usual five.

bee u live in the 1% of canada that doesn’t get snow !!! ULTRA-RARE POSITION IN LIFE ACHIEVED !!!

i never would’ve thought of pansy and percy either, but i was scrolling and came across it , and i’m a pretty open-minded girl, so i was like ‘why not’ and i was pleasantly surprised. (here’s the fic i’m talking about - ‘the secretary by pacificrimbaud’ it’s really good !! )

fucking james marrying sirius and killing remus is the most controversial decision i’ve ever made , but i STAND BY IT.

for now i’m just staring at my copy of the silmarillion willing it to become smaller. idk if my brain can handle more than like a page a month.

AT LEAST IT’S NOT RON X GINNY !!!!! maybe i’ll give it a shot one day many years in the future. it seems like there’s at least 50 books and she’s… still not done.

i’ll read the book first , then , as i always do. I’ll watch he movie , but only for ben barnes. I love him.

DRUNK PROCRASTINATOR FOR THE WIN. ( me on the roof rn trying to write my paper that was due last week. and the other one that’s due tomorrow! hopefully lu shows up soon with the monsters and good vibes!! he has no homework (he does his stuff on time) so he’s just gonna be keeping me company.)

CATS CATE CATSSS . studying with one purring in your lap sounds so peaceful !!!

amortentia trope >>>>>>> (i’m actually writing a scene in the quaffle & the snitch , where reg is dared to make james fall in love with him. like a bet movie. i’m loving it already.) I LOVE THEM SO MUCH HONESTLY !!! ‘you love me ?? you’re lying.’ ‘i’m on veritaserum you dumb fuck i’m NOT. lying.’

cereal is my go-to for breakfast, but sometimes i do get apple turnovers on the weekend with my chauffeur. (i’ll be referring to the best friend as either ‘chauffeur’ or ‘lu’ (which is my nickname for him) because typing out ‘my best friend’ is going to take forever.)

thank fuck i got the gas station order right. lu is ordered to be my chauffeur. sometimes we go on midnight grocery runs to the big tesco. (once got drunk and bought the entire stock of lurpak. thankfully there were only four tubs !! (lurpak is rich people butter btw) ) i’m the dj , which is mostly tay tay. he involuntarily knows all the words to shake it off and my tears ricochet now.

YOU HAVE LAVENDERS IN YOUR GARDEN????? THAT’S SO AWESOME ???? they look so nice but i kill a lot of plants. but maybe i’ll buy another bouquet and keep it alive this time??

PLUTO STAYS WINNING. SHE IS A PLANET. NASA DON’T MAKE THE RULES I DO.

(and the baby got back was so embarrassing it’s UNREAL. but it was lu calling to ask if i wanted pizza , so at least i got pizza ?? )

jazz and wine and a best friend to dance around the kitchen with >>>>>> life made .

reviewing your q’s . -

poutine sounds amazing , people are just haters. why do americans hate on poutine when they have ‘jello salad’ like god hates a country but it ain’t canada , sweet pea.

HE WOULD SLAY AS A RAVENCLAW !!!!! and he slayed as a dada professor too !! (but he did traumatise my boy neville so minus one point for that) (he slays as a slytherin too , because i like him to be a part of that friend group , yk?)

YES DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!!! the world would be a better place if people stopped trying to make everything the same !!

when i was younger , i wanted a pink car. now i just want lu to drive me around forever. his car is black , so unfortunately not colourful .(the lack of colour on the streets should be a crime.)

THE APPRENTICE IS SO WORTH IT !!! i love it so much it’s so funny honestly watch it watch it !! New eps every thursday (watch season 17!!)

yes soulmates are platonic and romantic!!! i met lu in primary , and i think i’d just about die if he were to leave me . like he is life i love him , i’d kill for him.

I just searched up what geogueser is , and i’ve found my new hyperfixation !!! will be updating with my skills on this later. (i wish i had your lace-untying skills. 90% of the time i’m in 70 different positions before they’re actually untied.)

‘Luke i am your father.’ that’s all for this one.

love that you’ve never had your heartbroken !!! ( I have , last year. from a girl called victoria , who’s actually kind of a dick now that i think about it. can’t believe i was crying over some random bitch. lu & monster are the only consistent things in my life!!)

nah your friend a piss-bag for being all ‘ooh you don’t like me , WELL I DON’T LIKE YOU.’ that’s rude. if he was a real one , he would’ve stayed. bro came out as gay ?? i’m waiting for his apology 🤨🤨🤨.

my q’s !! -

god - apollo // godess - artemis. i love those two a lot actually. the sun and the moon >>>>>

now , vis a vis fancasts. i love andrew & ben , not dane . i love the edits of atj , he has such a big range of scenes , and i think some of his scenes are very james ! but my default james is this guy - (search up mo malik on tt if you don’t wanna click the link , it’s the pinned video on @motheh0e account with around 8.4 mill views.)

full respect if people don’t imagine him though ! as for reiky, i keep seeing him bent over some ladies knickers , and it makes me laugh a lot . but he could be james too , definitely!! he’s not my default though. My fc for evan is hugh laughton-scott , and for barty it’s maxen danet fauvel. (ik i spelt it wrong , i’m on the roof rn give me a second) & for pandora it’s elle fanning , and for lily , annalise basso. for pete , lewis capaldi is my favourite, his character is what imagine peter to be (if peter was good ). BUT MY FAVOURITE BY FAR IS OF COURSE REGULUS BLACK AS MR TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET!!!! i live for this one. whoever fc’ed him , i wish them only good things in life.

3. GRYFFINDOR !!!!! RAHHHHHHHHHHHH. (my first one was a slytherin but i lied on a tonne of the q’s and got gryffindor on my second account so I’M A GRYFFINDOR .)

4. orpheus and eurydice kills me every fucking time man. like if he’d just waited for one more second. they’d both be alive. but he loved her too much not to look at her. (trojan horse is a close second of course !!)

5. soldier . i see everyone talking about king and poet , but where’s the stuff about the noble soldier ??? (i wanted to be king and the almighty ruler so i’m a bit pissed. might pull a macbeth.)

6.phone . (obviously, but i’ll give you another few because that was too obvious.) purse (i lost it like three times this academic year already) & my bingo tickets from three years ago in which i won a tenner (reminds me of gold times.) also my planning notebook because i get a shit tonne of ideas on a walk. OOOH OOH ALSO MY HEADPHONE . need to bop out to taylor , of course.

7. just did the quiz and got athena ! not bad , if i do say so myself !!

8. folklore , evermore , 1989 , lover & rep. (all taylor but i have other faves. but without these i’d die.)

9.yes , of course !!! i think soulmates are there , very much. for example , lu is very much my soulmate , platonic , and i’d do anything for him. absolutely anything. ANYTHING . (for reference, i’d only ever share my food with him. )

q’s for your next journey to my ask box -

top 5 albums ?

hogwarts house ?

divergent faction ?

favourite fun fact ?

soldier , poet or king ?

gold or silver jewellery?

taylor or lana ?

cruel summer vs don’t blame me.

my tears ricochet vs the great war.

favourite candle scent?

pet peeve ?

what makes you laugh the most ?

do u have a middle name ?

how common is ‘eh’ and ‘hoser’ in canada ?

(that’s all for now bee , but i shall be awaiting your reply like a wife waiting for her soldier husband to return from war. don’t die on the battlefield, bee . come back soon !)

[khaleesiofalicante]

I had the AUDACITY to believe that tlnd was the ANGSTIES things could get. Obviously besides lbaf jdhdibdkdjd

BUT THIS. FUCKING THIS😭😭

Like, I am kinda obsess with the fact everyone here has fucked up in some way and they are all in a gray area. Love me some moral questioning😎

BUT MAVID😭😭 THIS IS TEARING ME APART INSIDE OUT

David...being....unforgiven??? And kinda cruel??? What is this au?!?!?

If Max had lit the match, David had poured the fuel. In scales of pain, there is agony, and then there is this 🙂

So, David has full custody right? Bc he can only see them once a week of what I'm gathering...

They were all assholes. They were all fucked up. David just liked to pretend otherwise.

Love me some morally gray family 😍

How much more can David take from him before there was nothing left of Max? I AM AT A LAB AND I WANT TO CRY😭

Malec flirting and Alec giggling jshdidbkddj this is the only fluff I got and I'm gonna take it

Mon chéri. Not mon ange. He didn't take one thing😭😭 he couldn't take it!!! Ahhhhh why is this worse???

Loveeeee this chapter!!!! Honestly tho, I started the day rather horrible (like, a lot of stuff keep happening. I woke up late, couldn't find clothes, barely ate, I had cramps, etc) so this chapter, although fricking sad, made my whole day 💙

I hope you are talking care of yourself!!!! Try to do a little something for yourself today

💙.💙.💙.

Remember when I wrote IWFY and I was like 'this is the angstiest ever' lol. What a summer child.

Life lesson - It can always get angstier, babygirl 😎.

I love the moral questioning too. It's so 🥵 lol.

I had a long fucking day and i have a long fucking day tomorrow so i am actually gonna go to sleep early lol. that's the nice thing :)

Sending you good vibes and hope tomorrow is kinder 💙

[kpophubb]

Hi honey:) thank you for your support 💗💓💖

I think I did I literally bit better with my studies today , at least I’m not that anxious but still stressed 😩

Thanks for playlist , I’ll make sure to check it out ~~💖

Bebe and ITZY song? Whatttt? Haven’t heard anything about it , is it out now?

I’m so happy for you , u are in a better place that’s so amazing , and I’m happy there’s something that exists you :) I hope you will get your albums ~<3

I’m happy for Jake ( Jake or jay recovered?) 🙈🙈🙈

Are you a foodie? What do you like to eat ?:)🥨🍇🍳

Hope you have an amazing day , sending love (hehe by this text & by thoughts ) 👀🙈🙈❤️

How’s your niece ? Are you still involved in family gathering ?☺️☺️

Tags Are you so CUTE 🐱 YOU ARE CUTTER 🥒😌😍😍😍

~ 🐁

Hi my 🐁 anonie 🥺💞 good to hear that you’re doing better today!! 💘 yep the song is called “break my heart myself” it released today morning aish I WON at life bc it featured English yeji/ryujin vocals! They even did a studio choom dance cover of it before, maybe you haven’t seen it. I didn’t know bebe would literally COLLAB with them after the cover but there we have my queen always promoting kpop 🥹💝 yep heejayke they all recovered but their stamina is so low…:( covid actually makes our bodies tired and brain functions slow (for those who’ve had it before) and they had it twice so they were saying how they feel so tired nowadays :((( I really wish I could nurse jake and take care of him :(( </3 I really love caring for my loved ones. It makes me feel very happy. It’s always loving>>> being loved for a giver like me!! My skz album is already dispatched and I’ll get it within this week 😍 I’ll def show you MY PULLS OKAY? (I’m manifesting a lixie pc aah 😭🤲🏻) as for enha </3 I’ll order them after a few months bc the pob reseller is not found yet!! I want the weverse pobs too so after I find resellers who can sell me the goodies I’ll order albums together. Probably around November, good for me cz that will be a gift for my jakey’s bday as well!!!! Ahh me? 👀 I LOVE seafood 🦞 the most (minus sushi I don’t really like sushi) and then I’d say fast food? I’m a big dessert lover so I love pastries, cakes, donuts, and oh coffee ☕️ for sure! I don’t really eat that much at all…bc I start feeling insecure if I eat too much and feel like I’ll gain weight..it’s really stupid..but yeah :||..DONT EVEN YEA IM STILL BOOKED, gonna go visit a lake bridge tmrw and I really don’t know what to wear..plus the main thing is it’s so HOT ☀️ and I hate summer ;;-;; ! I have eaten so much lately haha and missed workout sessions so I gotta grind 🏋️‍♀️ after everything too! I HOPE YOU ATE WELL TODAY AND LOVED YOURSELF A LITTLE MORE THAN YESTERDAY. YOU DESERVE LOVE AND AFFECTION YOU ARE AMAZING MY BABY 💕💓🥰🤗

[bysaber]

ummmm HIYAAAAA, is this SABER??? im jkkk , im so loving the new theme, im like vibing with it so hard you have no idea. the colours really compliment each other. im like so so so so sorry I haven't been in touch, I had so many ASSignments to do that my screen time became a mere hour and that was like catching up with my family. but lemme just say I just read/reread every single ficmas post today and mmmmh with a little cup of tea ( I kept going back for more bc your fics are so comfy to me) by my side it totally soothed me. and I just wanna say if anyones disappointed in you for dropping something that made you feel stressed and anxious , TRUST!!! , they can come fight me anytime of the day bc im DOWNNN. im so happy and honestly proud of the 15 days you accomplished because when I say that they were all beautifully written like , im NOT LYING and I could never, I have so many ideas in my head but honestly scared to even write a single paragraph and publish it bc I am my own biggest hater and critic. anyways I don't mean to put the spotlight on me but rather show you that im not just saying this for the sake of saying but I truly do mean it. Also Im not really accustomed to work without holiday since I haven't begun working yet but isn't Christmas like a worldwide holiday, and they still didn't give you a holiday???

also I just realised I never really introduced myself, i have like this thing where I never interact with my blog because it doesn't have much reblogs or works bc im like one of those kids who got introduced to the concept of the internet at like their late teen years so it took me a while to figure out how this app works or any app for that matter (yeah so like opposite of an iPad baby, we exist! ) so I think ppl might find me suspicious.. idk there's something wrong with the way I think haha.

but I totally would LOVVEEE to be mutuals with you, if you'd like the same.

this must be so much to read, sorry I went a lil overboard but yeah all in all, cant wait for all of your future upcoming pics which I know will blow my mind again and again and again. ( also I don't want this to seem like im putting pressure on you to release fics faster GOD NO, I just mean like I could wait an eternity if it means I could read your work!)

so wish you the ultimate best, saber, I hope everything is well in your life both personal and work and if not, I hope it all turns out to be fine and all in your favour. >>>>>3333

HIYAAA BOO <3

First of all, you don't need to apologize for disappearing! Life is a pain in the ass sometimes and we can't dive into our fantasy world (tumblr), I TOTALLY GET IT!!! But I hope everything worked out for you and that now you have time to enjoy some free time!!!

(more under the cut)

My old theme was getting on my NERVES, I wasn't satisfied (hehe) with it but I'm really happy with this one. And I brought the true Saber to life. I'm glad you liked it <3 it'll probably stick around.

IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY THAT MY FICS MAKE YOU FEEL THIS WAY!!!!!! It's enough to make me want to keep writing because knowing one person appreciates what I write already makes everything worth it. I would LOVE to know who you are and become mutuals, and it's fine if your blog isn't filled with things.

At some point, I also was a "ghost" tumblr user.

Like, for years.

I guess I've been here since the SuperWhoLock era but only started interacting in the past three years -- then decided to create a new account and start again. I've been reading/writing fanfic as far as I can remember, but that was in my mother language and I had to gather so much courage to try it in english. But I'm happy I did. And I would love to hear your ideas and maybe see what you can write <3 it's never too late.

I'm with a few fics ideas including a series and I'm really looking forward to write them all, I hope you like them when the time comes!! And don't worry, I don't feel pressured at all <3

About my work!!! Yes, the holidays are worldwide as far as I'm concerned but since my job has a flexible working hours and it's remote, it sounds good but I actually never stop working. I work with advertising and we spend money to upload ads and even for every time someone clicks in our ads, so I have to check the data from time to time to make sure the incoming compensates the money we're spending. If not, I have to take it down and change the campaign 100% it's maddening

Ok now I feel like I TALKED TOO MUCH!!! I'm sorry. But thank you for your message and all the love you always give me, I have no words for you but I really really appreciate it every time you pop in my inbox <3 and please if you feel comfortable let's be moots.

[streamoflillies]

How do I care less about my job?

Rant about work and a lot of fucks below the cut.

I know that I'm valuable to the company and all that shit.

I'm at a point where I'm a SME (subject matter expert) in a couple things that would absolutely FUCK the company if I left. I've become the person who people KNOW can fix the bullshit.

But that means I'm the person who fixes the bullshit. And I'm tired of being the only one who can fix the bullshit (there are others who fix different bullshit but that doesn't help with THIS bullshit).

I went on vacation, kinda. Took 3 half weeks in a row bc I don't have enough pto to make a trip to visit family worth it otherwise.

And when I came back from the last one, there's a pile of shit on my desk for me to fix. One was a thing from my first chunk of time off, where they handed it off to the wrong person. They did jack shit for two weeks and then it ended up back in my hands where it should have been in the first place.

Don't blame them, once I saw it was in their name I knew it wasn't going to work. But that meant my first couple days back were batshit insane because the client was wondering where the fuck it was.

M-W I took my lunch way too late because of that shit. Today (Th) was a final polish, out the door. I clocked out a few minutes early even.

Then at about 9:30 I'm settled into bed, reading some fanfic, ready to go to sleep early and have a good day tomorrow. And my brain goes 'you fucked X up', and no amount of coaxing would shut that little fuck in my brain up, so I got in my car and drove to the office to check. Granted I'm really close to work, so there+check+back was only about half an hour total.

But I'm tired of caring that fucking much.

It's not the first time I've done that either. I did it 4th of July too. Took the 5th off because I knew my sleep would be fucked. Thing came in late on the 3rd in my bullshit category, they wanted it by the 5th. I couldn't finish it 3rd, report that needed to be pulled by a specific person, and they handle those requests outside my work hours. So sent off the report request and handed it off.

Then spent the whole 4th KNOWING they wouldn't be able to handle it/I could handle it MUCH faster. So I got on for an hour on the 4th and basically handed them all the answers, and then logged back off.

Had a great relaxed time on the 5th because I'd spent that hour.

But I shouldn't have needed to.

I'm not getting paid enough to think about work off the clock, but I care too fucking much.

I've been the same at every job. At my warehouse job I quickly became the 'night shift fucked up an order, and I trust you to fix it' person.

I'm so tired of having all this energy to care about my job, and none for the things I love. I want to knit, I got a hook and want to learn Tunisian crochet. I want to write again. Read the Stormlight archive book gathering dust on my shelf.

Instead I come home from work, absolutely burnt the fuck out, and just flop on the couch.

I want to care less about work and care more about living, but I don't know how

I'm tired

[herbalisia]

12 Days of Christmas, Day 11 🎄🎁

[kiddiesides]

Hi, love your work and I have an idea

Thomas is having a really rough day: rehearsals went bad, his messed up his lines several times, he spilled coffee on someone, the kids were late to school, just one small inconvenience after another building up.

He goes to get ready with his date with Nico when Nico cancels for a family emergency and Thomas just breaks down crying in his room.

Unaware that his kids could hear his muffled sobs and decide to build the best pillow fort for their dad. Patton orders three pizzas, Roman and Remus start gathering pillows and blankets, Logan gets the movies all organized, and Janus and Virgil stays by Thomas’s door and waits for his daddy to get cuddles.

When Thomas does finally open his door (cause he has kids and they need to be fed bc he is a good dad) and Vee is just making grabby hands for his dad. Thomas picks him up and gives him kisses and calls him his little sugar bear. Janus simply latches on Thomas’s leg and Thomas just walks with Janus on his leg.

The living room is a mess with fluffy pillows and blankets and a mattress, Logan is arguing with Roman about which movie to start first, Remus is trying to convince Patton that they should get the cookies and candy down to eat as well.

Thomas just stares at the chaos and Janus unlatched from Thomas’s leg and stands in front of him. Thomas leans down, still holding Virgil.

“Buddy, what’s going on?” Thomas asks, Janus shuffles his feet before answering.

“You always take care of us, we wanna take care of you.”

Thomas cried for a second time today, but out of love and happiness for his kiddos. They all get situated and they start with Snow White while they wait for the pizza to arrive.

Thomas feel loved with having his kiddos around him, safe and sound.

they all cuddle up real close to him and Thomas kind of babys them a little bit like he wipes their mouth with a napkin or smth like that. And normally most of them would complain but right now not a single one of them does

bbies just love their dad so much

[misora-msby]

embarrassing moments with inarizaki

inarizaki always looks so cool but you know they’re actually dorks and i am here to provide you the content to show theyre clowns. enjoy the headcanons :)

Kita Shinsuke

firstly. kita shinsuke being embarrased? making a mistake? unheard of.

he’s a perfect man and we all know it.

anyways

you two were having a nice dinner out together. 

it was a pretty fancy place so you decided to dress in a different style today

but you were beginning to wonder if kita liked it or not because he seemed to keep looking past your shoulder instead of at you

he was an observant guy so you were wondering if something had happened behind you

but you couldn’t hear anything weird so you assumed not

you decided to just stay quiet about it at first but now it was beginning to become annoying! 

why wasn’t he looking you in the eye to speak?

midway through your dinner, kita finally spoke up tho

“y/n, your shirt is slipping... yer bra’s showing.”

oh.

right. you were wearing your off-shoulder top.

“o-oh. shin, it’s that kind of shirt, you know?” you had to explain your outfit to ur bf with a pink face.

“oh... that so... well it’s cold these days so if yer feelin’ cold lemme know. i’ll give ya my jacket.”

GOD HES SO PERFECT KITA SHINSUKE I HOPE U MARRY HIM???????

Ojiro Aran

another man with next to no flaws.

but nature says everyone has to make some mistake.

so it was a regular school day, our aran has just come to class from morning practice and there’s still some time left until class starts.

all the girls in class are gathered around a table

he’s not sure why, it’s probably watching an idol video

but ur man wants to be a little romantic!!

plus he just showered so he smells Great uwu

he goes over and hugs you from behind, placing his chin on ur head.

“hey, bb whatcha ya doin”

all the girls gasp.

he doesn’t get whats wrong, it’s not like it’s a secret y’all are dating

pda to this level aint bad either

especially compared to his teammate miya atsumu

“ojiro aran.”

why is your voice behind him

he looks down and nearly faints when he sees he hugged the wrong girl.

to be fair she looked a lot like you from behind, just maybe 1cm shorter.

“i’m so sorry!” he keeps apologising to literally everyone and all the class is giggling bc they never seen their school’s ace so red before.

“didn’t think i’d come back from the toilet and see my bf cheatin”

“IT WAS A MISTAKE! I’M SERIOUS! Y/N U KNOW I LOVE YA!” 

hes so funny i swear

the volleyball team hears of it and it gets even better 

Miya Atsumu

it’s not a secret that miya atsumu, setter of the inarizaki volleyball team and invited to national youth training camp, had a gf

he was very much in love with u 

the whole class knew it because he’d show it off whenever he could too

so here comes valentines day

last year he received like... 50 different gifts from girls and guys aiming to win his love.

you didnt even give him one lmAOOOOO 

but this year, he had been not so subtly trying to hint that “i better not receive any chocolates this year when i’ve got a gf!”

he reaches school and plops into his seat.

there’s an anonymous box of chocolates with “please accept my love, miya-kun! <3″ on it

“the hell’s this?!”

“oh? chocolates?” - osamu who just popped his head into the class to shove into his twin’s face how much chocolate he got.

especially since the blond was off limits, the grey-haired twin had a bigger following now.

“do they not know i have a girlfriend...”

“well, ya might as well eat it. ya dont know who to return it to.”

“that’s like receivin’ their love!”

“no it ain’t. it’s just food.”

atsumu couldn’t argue with that and popped a piece in.

it was very delicious. the chocolate practically melted on his tongue and was the perfect sweetness and was filled with a delicious ganache too.

it was perfect

but he couldn’t accept this!

“it ain’t even good. too sweet and the filling’s sticky.”

“ah. really? is that what you think, tsumu?” you ask from the door where you had been watching the exchange take place.

“y/n! look at this! some weirdo gave me some choco and like... samu said to test it but i’ll toss it out, promise.”

“tsumu, i made that... i wrote it anonymously because i thought you’d know it was me and i wanted to tease you a little.”

“huh.”

osamu: “yeah actually i went over to her place to teach her how to make it.”

atsumu: “you said you went to suna’s place?!”

osamu: “i went there later but i first went to help her.”

you: “anyways if it’s not good i don’t mind if you toss it out...”

tsumu: “NO NO BABE I PROMISE IT’S GOOD”

you: “you just said-”

“BABE I SWEAR IT’S GOOD I JUST DIDN’T WANT TO ACCEPT A STRANGER’S STUFF”

“you’re always so honest though... are you sure?” you were having your fun teasing him now.

“BB PLSSSSSS”

he still cringes at the memory 4 years into ur marriage

Miya Osamu

osamu would DEFINITELY make home made dinner dates a regular thing.

this alone shows he’s the better twin - miya atsumu stan

he loves cooking and eating with you so sometimes when he’s got a day off you guys’ll set aside the afternoon to make a real nice dinner

imagine candlelit dinner with miya dorito body osamu in a suit

of course some fun stuff happens after too ;)))

and today’s your third anniversary!!

so osamu adds lots of ‘natural aphrodisiacs’ to the meal

i’m talkin

garlic bread and soup for an appetiser, a nice juicy steak with garlic and red wine sauce for the main, and chocolate coated strawberries for dessert

mm yummy

you two cleaned your plates completely (it was very delicious) and as you were washing the dishes, osamu comes up behind and wraps his arms around your waist

“yes, ‘samu?” 

“i’ve already prepared us a nice bath with yer favourite scents.” he’s got his head resting on ur chin

“really? thank you~ i’ll be there in a bit”

but he doesn’t let go of you while you’re still scrubbing at the baking sheets.

“osamu, you can let go for now.”

“don’t feel like it.”

“i gotta wash the dishes since you did most of the cooking.”

“mmm, i’ll do it if ya gimme a kiss.”

you roll ur eyes bc what a cutie 

u turn ur head to give him a kiss but suddenly he 

he burps

that garlicy wine smell is just kinda there

“ew! ‘samu!!”

his face is real red but he’s also trying not to laugh because he’s still a dude and this is absolutely hilarious to him

“want another?” he starts teasing

“i’m not getting in the bath with you.”

“wait wait wait i’m sorry, i’ll go brush my teeth and give you a proper kiss”

Suna Rintarou

you two were taking the train home today

it was quite late due to practice going a little longer than usual, so he insisted he walked you back home today.

sunarin can be a good boyf sometimes ok

it was getting a little crowded on the train tho, since people were heading home or going out for dinner

luckily you had already grabbed seats so you were quite comfortable sitting side by side. 

you and suna have the type of relationship were you dont have to talk all the time

silence is v comfy.

he’s just scrolling through twitter on his phone while you’re looking around the car, lost in ur thoughts

suddenly you notice an old lady standing a little bit away from you and you stand up

“baa-san, please take my seat.” you whisper in the crowded carriage

“oh how kind of you. thank you, dearie.” she smiles and takes your seat while you stand in front of her and suna instead.

suna doesn’t realise this exchange has happened tho

(he’s on his phone as usual)

probably starting some fights on twitter

he decides to try to be a little romantic and pretends to stretch his arm around (who he thought was) you.

“rin.” 

why is your voice right in front of him?

“young man, i appreciate it but i’m married.”

suna jumps as he sees someone he did not recognise next to him.

he looks up and notices you had moved.

you’re giggling

the granny’s giggling

atsumu and osamu sitting opposite on the carriage look like they’re going to cry because they’re trying not to laugh

“i was just stretching. really.” he mumbles and crosses his arms, face red as a tomato

he’s so embarrassed.

Ginjima Hitoshi

sometimes the inarizaki vbc would go for an after practice snack at the nearby family mart

they were really hungry after an intense preparation for nationals which was in two weeks so kita insisted they all get something to fill them up on the way home

but lucky lucky ginjima hhehe

you (his classmate who he had a crush on) were working at the cash register today.

“welcome!” you greet everyone as they enter

he cant help but stiffen up a bit 

why are u so cute and cheery today

the 2nd years already know what to do.

“heyy, i think last week i bought ya that ramen right? ya owe me my konbini snacks today!” - atsumu

“yeah. you lost a bet to me last week so u gotta pay up. a pack of jelly fruit sticks please.” - suna

“forgot my money today, mind payin’ for my snacks too?” - osamu

“like hell i’m paying for all of you. especially you, osamu. you eat too much all the time.” 

aran’s noticed what’s going on,

“hey, if it’s just for today you can do it right? if ‘samu don’t pay ya back tomorrow i’ll nag him ‘til he does.” 

“fine...” his basket is full when he goes to the counter.

he’s trying his best not to have a red face while watching u scan the items, ur hair swaying slightly as u look back and forth between the objects and the screen.

“alright. 4,890 yen please!” GOD he hated how expensive it was, that’s almost all his weekly allowance but bc it’s u and ur voice saying it it’s kinda ok

“mm, ok.” he still has his eyes on you while he takes out his wallet and puts it on the counter.

yes

his wallet, not the money

“...” “...”

“excuse me, sir. this is...”

he almost slaps his face wtf he’s so embarrassed.

“s-sorry. just a little absent minded after practice.” he starts pulling out his cash.

“it’s fine! i know how hard you guys practice!” you smile while performing the rest of the transaction and pass him his big bag of goods. “good luck for nationals, ginjima-kun!”

he almost runs out of the store and is about to fight the rest of the 2nd years for watching and (suna) recording