#a lot good. But it’s a Lot. Life is a lot! Mental health stuff is a lot

[rimouskis]

hey! I got a new job! that's crazy! I actually kept a huge spreadsheet to track my job search, from my layoff last year through three different job offers. obvs I'm not gonna share the spreadsheet itself but I wanna share some numberrrrrrsssss

over the course of 11 months, I applied to 142 jobs [not including any "easy apply" options on linkedin, which would easily add another 80 or so jobs to this list. if any of those easy apply applications led to an interview, they were added to my spreadsheet].

of those 142, I heard back from 25. I was simply rejected from 58, and never heard from 59.

of the jobs I interviewed for, I was rejected after the first round 12 times and rejected after the second round three times.

I made it to the third round of interviews three times, and all three times I was offered the job.

I removed myself from contention for three roles that were interested in me. I rescinded my candidacy for various reasons like compensation, wanting to be an actual employee instead of a contractor, stuff like that.

I also want to say that many times I interviewed and then was still ghosted, lol. it's so gross to me that companies don't have the wherewithal to communicate with people after speaking with them, especially face-to-face.

some anecdotes:

despite these numbers looking atrocious (and trust me, they FELT atrocious), I had pretty good luck. I secured my first job offer 2 months after starting my job search.

there was a MUCH heavier gap between the first job offer and the second (closer to five months). the reasons for that were: I had started my new job and didn't apply anywhere for a whole month, and also that job destroyed my mental health so badly that I genuinely cannot speak of it lol.

THAT BEING SAID, because the second job offer had a very long interview period, there were only three months between me starting my new job (first job offer) and me sending in my application that led to the second job offer. so, frankly, given that the job almost destroyed my life, I think three months is a pretty good turnaround.

I had a VERY good rate of return between the second job offer and the third. I applied to only 42 jobs and secured interviews for a whopping ~25% of them. maybe I'd finally Gotten Good at applying for jobs after applying to roughly two a day for half a year lol.

that being said, I'd also slowed down a lot in my application grind. I was very demoralized and also felt a lot of complicated feelings around turning down the second job offer. I had very good reasons for it, but it was still an incredibly hard decision and it threw me off my game for a while. I'd also become choosier in what I applied for.

finally, 100ish days after being offered that second job, I was offered the third—and final, for this saga—job. My Long Nightmare Was Over.

so: why share this? firstly, I'm proud of my recordkeeping and wanted to share it, haha. secondly, I know everyone is complaining about the job market, but in case anyone else is in the trenches right now: I just want to tell you that I see you, I feel you, and this has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

applying to jobs was like pulling teeth for me. job SEARCHING, itself, causes (for some reason) an emotional reaction in me so strong that you'd think the process was lab-designed to cause me stress and extreme self-doubt.

I've gotten a lot better at it in the last year, though, and my tolerance and stamina for it is much better. but christ alive, it was an emotionally-taxing grind.

job searching sucks. in several industries, the job market is a total blood bath right now. if you need to talk about it, I'm always happy to lend an understanding ear.

anyways. yay numbers. hopefully I don't have to do that again for a VERY long time.

[neurospicyyy]

Yes, I threw fits when I was a kid.

No, I wasn’t in control.

No, you shouldn’t judge me for it.

Yes, I am aware you think I had the choice.

But surely you understand I didn’t really have one?

Surly you understand I was struggling?

That I’m still struggling?

That I always will be?

[vitamin-zeeth]

Just watched fight club it was gayer than I expected

[daily-crabbys]

Crab blog might go on hiatus. I'm a little on the fence about it but there's some stuff going on that I don't need to explain so I won't. It's why I've been sporadic posting, and if I don't post tomorrow I'm probably going to be on a break for an indefinite amount of time. hopefully it won't be too long but we'll have to see. will stock up on some crab posts for my return if I do!

[danielnelsen]

there’s so much i wanna do this week/month/etc but i’m just too sick, i have no energy, i can’t sleep, i’m constantly nauseous and headachey and on the verge of a migraine, i’m stressed and irritable and impatient and panicky…….how tf did i survive nearly 5 years of high school untreated if i can’t even manage this when i don’t have any major obligations rn

[itspileofgoodthings]

.

[daz4i]

tarot reading fucked me up.. (it was positive and told me things i mostly know and think about these days but i don't know how to handle positivity)

[sissiarte]

🍂Garden of Magik 🍂 (Next)

IT’S DRAWTOBER TIME!!!!

This year is the fist one I’m doing the challenge and I’m super excited (tho I’m already late with the first promt...) 

I’ve made new original characters for this and I love them and !!!! I’m very motivated lately as I’ve started a double master degree on concept art and comic and I’m learning a lot and having so much fun !!!! 

[prettyblondguys]

Am I allowed to be negative on here about stuff for a minute? Pretty please?

I don't really think that things are gonna change for the better/ get better for me at this point tbh

[the-moogle-of-your-nightmares]

i am at this point very certain that i am legitimately, actually cursed. the only degree to which this is metaphorical is that there's not a word for it that doesn't imply supernatural means, instead of ones that can be explained by science but haven't been yet.

[mooninagust]

got feedback for an order i did and i’m slowly realising that what i studied for for 5 years and what’s been my dream for so long might not be for me at all bc one of these days it’s just gonna make me have a heart attack istg

[ticklepinions]

Just finished reading Solitaire and all I can say is Alice Oseman is the GOAT.

[elektroyu]

This may sound a little esoteric, but sometimes I really wonder what my higher purpose in life is. By now I think I have a pretty good idea of which (overall) direction I need to go (= art stuff in the widest sense). This is exclusively because that's what feels right to me and seems to be what I always come back to in some way.

But beyond that? I'm not sure how I'm going to pay for living (literally living, like eating and housing, let alone pets orz). Are these things supposed to be connected? Or am I supposed to find another way to get income, somehow despite my health condition?

What am I supposed to do for other people so that I can get income of my own*? What is it that I can GIVE others? Where is the thing that I can do that can provide others with a high enough value?

I have no fucking clue at all, and that's scary as hell.

*at least I'd like to have an income of my own that I basically earn myself with some kind of work. Not at all looking forward to end up depending on benefits for the rest of my life

[yoshifawful64]

.

[tacochippy]

I have a folder on google photos called "i deserve a life filled with love, joy, and donuts" and its full of a bunch of nice things poeple have said to me or about me. i read it soemtimes when i feel worthless. HIGHLY recommend