#a lot of my stuff was taken directly from wikipedia

[dailydemonspotlight]

Mizuchi - Day 22

Race: Snake

Alignment: Neutral

April 19th, 2024

Serpentine monsters are a common sight in mythology; whether it be the great Dragons of yore, the feathered serpent Quetzalcoatl, the aboriginal Rainbow Serpent Yurlungur, or even the classical Ouroboros. However, Japan loves snakes in mythology. We've already covered one in Yamata-No-Orochi, but there are so many more, whether it be the adorable and hilarious Yokai Tsuchinoko, or, in the case of the demon we're covering today, the legendary water serpent, Mizuchi.

Mizuchi is rarely seen throughout the tremendous amounts of tales that make up Japanese mythology, only mentioned in the Nihon Shoki (the oldest still-remaining text of Japan's history, dating all the way back to the Yōrō era) as well as appearing in a single Man'yōshū poem. In spite of this, Mizuchi has been the topic of many scholarly debates, eventually being bastardized through history into everyone's favorite root-chakra destroying turtle, the Kappa.

Mizuchi, however, is not originally from Japan- its name is actually a transliteration from several Chinese glyphs, particularly several glyphs describing different dragons, serpents, and monsters of Chinese mythology. Admittedly, I don't know much about Japanese, but one of the kanji used to spell the name Mizuchi implies that it's a snake, but it first-and-foremost means "Water spirit." The word, in English, can be broken down into "Spirit-of-Water," as Mi- means water, -tsu- (the way that it is pronounced) effectively means 'of,' and -chi is a suffix that describes a spirit. Due to this, Mizuchi's origin as a Chinese myth makes it very, very hard to track down much of a solid origin for it, given that it originates from what was effectively a way to match how it sounds to how it's spelled.

Now, in terms of mythology, Mizuchi was first referenced in the Nihon Shoki- as the story goes, under the reign of Emperor Nintoku, there was a fork at a river that contained a great water serpent that would be a very deadly nuisance- it attacked random passersby, spat venom at anybody who came near, broke apart caravans, and was generally just a prick. Eventually, fed up with this, a man named Agatamori approached the spirit with a challenge- he tossed three Calabashes into the water and challenged the spirit to see if it could sink them. If not? Mizuchi would face a swift death. The dragon, perturbed, obliged, yet was unsuccessful, meeting a demise by the hands of the man.

Later on, Agatamori found his way to the fellows of the mischievous snake, and in a move as genocidal as it was unwarranted, slaughtered the entire clan of Mizuchi. The lake below was filled with their blood, later becoming the noted "Pool of Agatamori." However, in spite of how apocalyptic this may seem, it turns out that there are more recollections of Mizuchi in the mix, and this tale was but one of many.

The god of the river recorded in Nintoku 11 is also commonly seen as a Mizuchi. A dam being built along Yodo River was subject to an attack from an unknown force, completely breached. Confused, the Emperor commanded a rebuild of it, only for it to be breached yet again. This happened time and time again, and eventually, the Emperor saw a solution to his problem through a prophetic dream. Bringing two men to the riverfront, he offered them up to the River God, but one refused. Likely recognizing the circumstances, the man demanded to see the divinity of the snake by trying the age-old calabash trick, tossing a set into the river and daring the god to sink them. Unsurprisingly, the Mizuchi failed, and likely grew to resent calabashes for the rest of its life.

The last example of a Mizuchi in classical Japanese mythology comes from the Man'yōshū, a collection of ancient poems that have been passed down from generation to generation. In one of them, a poem composed by Prince Sakaibe, he describes a short and intriguing tale regarding a Mizuchi. In quote, "I could ride a tiger to leap over the Old Shack, to the green pool, to take down the mizuchi dragon there, if only I had a sword capable of doing just that." The story regards a mizuchi dragon as being almost common knowledge, bringing up as many questions as it does answers- however, the way it regards it in such a casual manner may play into why Mizuchi are so scarcely mentioned.

If everyone knew about mizuchi, then they wouldn't feel the need to record it, right? The casual cadence of the poem seems to give light to the idea that mizuchi were a common sight or concept in ancient Japan, and it may have to do with their later bastardization into Kappa. In some areas, kappa are given a name incredibly similar to a mizuchi, such as "Mizushi," "Medochi," or "Mintsuchi." Past this, a common trait in Kappa stories lies in their hatred of calabashes, something which is similar to the distaste Mizuchi have for calabashes in both stories they appear in. Some historians speculate that mizuchi and kappa were in the same general 'clique' of water dwelling monsters.

God, that was a lot. Mizuchi are confusing. However, in terms of the SMT series, there's a lot less to comment on; their appearance as a water spirit in the form of a snake is faithful, and their design is as simple as it is elegant. They appear to be made of clear water, almost like a rushing river in the form of a snake. Throughout the series, Mizuchi are a common sight in the early-mid game, even appearing as a boss in Nocturne. Their specialty in ice skills, the closest thing SMT has to water skills, is almost obvious. However, overall, there's elegance in simplicity, and Mizuchi is just that.

[bad-surprise]

🌟

so i updated my haladriel textfic erase me today (part three is on twitter) and i’d love to talk about that.

This is the wikipedia page I made for Celeborn. I really wanted him to be a mashup of Jack Antonoff and FINNEAS, which is interesting bc I am a known Celeborn hater who likes both of these producers.

Some canon references are more obvious than others. His middle name comes from his canonical Quenya name. Galadhrim Music is a reference to the elves living in Lothlorien. I wanted to make this world bigger bc touring is a huge part of the story, so Beleriand still exists here. I decided to make the Doriath family a family of politicians and civil servants bc i wanted the sort of government/leadership/public service feel but without the ickiness of actually making him nobility (though I did decide that his ancestors should still be royal). His band, Hidden Kingdom, is of course a reference to Doriath itself, and their album, The Fall, is a reference to the sacking of Menegroth.

Almost everything about Hidden Kingdom was taken from Jack Antonoff. He had a punk rock band in high school that toured using a DIY booking guide and played in anarchist bookstores. The approach to writing is heavily influenced by FINNEAS’ comments about how he writes songs for his sister, Billie Eilish, and how his acting experience helps with that.

A little easter egg here that you might catch later on in this part of the fic is that Amroth Lorien is the frontman of the supergroup Tevildo that Halbrand and Galadriel are both members of. You can expect to see a lot more about Tevildo in Part Four, but if it isn’t obvious, they are essentially intended to be the Canadian supergroup Broken Social Scene.

More easter eggs with Erase Me:

- Both Hal and Gal are openly bisexual characters here. They also are not strictly monogamous sexually, which is not a big deal here but referenced occasionally— particularly in the phone call in Part Three between H + G where it’s implied that they have history with the Loriens.

- The Soundtrack podcast was inspired by a podcast episode I heard that was a conversation between Stevie Nicks and Matty Healy. I also wanted the vibe to be very Actors on Actors. We’ll see if Galadriel makes an appearance on it in the future.

- Gal has ADHD, but I’ve never directly referenced this.

- Whispers From The Void = Crazy Days and Nights. The individual posting goes by K, any guesses as to who that is?

- Elrond is not just a music video director but a successful feature film director as well.

- Nothing is happening between Nori and Isildur, I just love fuckboy Isildur vibes.

- G’s solo music is a cross between Eloise’s album Drunk On A Flight (which is referenced frequently throughout the fic) and Phoebe Bridgers. I really imagine the stuff she’s working on now as very similar to the song Drunk On A Flight by Eloise and Moon Song by Phoebe Bridgers.

- The Dagorath Tour is partially inspired by Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour.

- The controversy re: G’s drumming is a reference to Meg White of The White Stripes.

- G does actually DJ as well, but more so just for fun. I imagine her as the sort of person who seems to be able to name any song three seconds into the intro.

- H is the more “serious” musician in terms of what he’ll listen to, but his formal education is lacking compared to G’s.

- “Light” is intended to be a sort of cross between Perth by Bon Iver, Something by The Beatles, and Guiding Light by Foy Vance, in terms of vibes, not necessarily sound.

- Lindalë’s sound is inspired by Silversun Pickups, Metric, The Strokes, Oh Wonder, Better Oblivion Community Center, and Arcade Fire, but with a lot of diverse influences (prog, punk, hip-hop, jazz, lounge) and they’re a little nerdy musically. They are getting into heated arguments over time signature shifts and they will defend their overuse of seventh chords to the death.

- I imagine a favorite album of G’s being Escalator Over The Hill by Carla Bley & The Jazz Composer’s Orchestra, but she also would love Ctrl by SZA, Led Zeppelin IV, and My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy by Kanye West (though she wouldn’t listen to that anymore bc of him being awful).

- H’s music in my head I imagine as a cross between Jeff Buckley, Damien Rice, Ray LaMontagne, Iron & Wine, and Conor Oberst, with a splash of Big Thief in there. His favorite album would probably be something like Grace by Jeff Buckley or Norman Fucking Rockwell by Lana Del Rey, but he also probably loves OK Computer and In Rainbows by Radiohead and Actor by St. Vincent.

- There’s a bit where they talk on Moria Music about playing with Tevildo and that is almost entirely inspired by a video of Broken Social Scene performing Anthems for a 17 Year Old Girl where Emily Haines says “I missed my friends” at the end. I also reference that line in an instagram caption of Celeborn’s.

- They are big into psychedelics and also regularly take MDMA together.

- Galadriel has threatened divorce many times but this is the first time she’s ever actually gone ahead with it.

- Nori is constantly looking for a new job but never actually takes anything bc she feels very loyal to H + G, even though she’s overworked and underpaid lol. She is not their first assistant, but most quit pretty fast.

- Hal has a Google alert set up for G.

- The divorce announcement was inspired by a number of celebrity divorce announcements, but none quite so much as the infamous Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin conscious uncoupling. Others include Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner and David Arquette & Courteney Cox — I just swapped out the band for references to their kids lol.

- The song “Palantír” is somewhat inspired by Cannibal by Marcus Mumford

That was a lot but I hope it was somewhat enjoyable?

[elibean]

I posted 432 times in 2022

105 posts created (24%)

327 posts reblogged (76%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@iyashikei

@squirrelstothenuts

@paperinikb

@nakamatachi

@elibean

I tagged 404 of my posts in 2022

Only 6% of my posts had no tags

#text post - 105 posts

#anime - 49 posts

#jp stuff - 26 posts

#my favorite asshole - 11 posts

#pokemon spoilers - 9 posts

#japan adventures part 2: electric boogaloo - 8 posts

#pla spoilers - 7 posts

#excellent - 6 posts

#splatoon - 6 posts

#god - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#anyway i don’t usually go to the movies a ton (even pre-covid) but there are a lot of anime movies getting releases that i’m interested in

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

So Splatoon tends to have a lot of fun references and easter eggs and whatnot, but I am loving the thing that appears after you secure the ultra signal! Excuse the bad picture, it’s taken from here— https://splatoonwiki.org/wiki/Sprinkler_of_Doom

In English this is called the Sprinkler of Doom, which I’ll get into why that’s a fantastic translation in a second. The Japanese is just マトイ. Here’s the explanation from Wikipedia— A matoi (纏/まとい) was a flag used in Edo period Japan by firemen (火消し, hikeshi) to notify people of a fire near or within a building. It was taken up on a roof near the burning building by the matoi holder (纏持, matoimochi) and waved to draw the attention of other groups of firefighters, who would then hurry to the site of the fire to assist. Each different group of firemen in the Edo period had their own matoi to identify themselves.

Here’s a picture of a matoi!

See the full post

20 notes - Posted August 28, 2022

#4

I pulled twice for the Noragami kuji! I really wanted Yukine ofc but I’d be happy with Yato, Hiyori, Yukine, or Kofuku. So…a 4/12 chance of getting who I want 😭😭

23 notes - Posted August 29, 2022

#3

All i want in natsume yuujinchou is for tanuma to find out abt the book of friends (directly! From natsume himself!). That’s it!

28 notes - Posted August 11, 2022

#2

I have purchased the Children

40 notes - Posted June 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Y’all I’m losing my mind. Sorry for the bad quality but basically in the whole image the fox boy is playing and that’s what Natsume’s looking at but I guess Tanuma only has eyes for Natsume 😭😭😭

66 notes - Posted August 11, 2022

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[berkowitzbrat]

Berkowitz and the Inverted Electra

Hello! Well, this is where i’ve been all this time. This post required a lot of sourcing and research, and therefore a lot of time, because it’s very theoretical. Anyway, here’s my magnum opus. Enjoy.

An Electra Complex is defined by the psychosexual relationship between a girl (or, in the ‘inverted’ sense, a boy) and her (his) mother, coupled with a sexual desire to possess their father. Oedipal and Electral urges originate during the Phallic (3rd) stage of psychosexual development.

As a male, Berkowitz would be expected to cleave to the Oedipal urges to kill his father/possess his mother; however, I don’t think this is the case. The Phallic stage takes place between the ages of 3-6 years old, around the time that Berkowitz was informed of his biological mother’s death, and his biological father’s abandonment of him. This, coupled with the continuous image of death surrounding women as he was growing up [1], helped to solidify this inverted Electral urge, the fascination with death&women and possession&men. In terms of possession and men, Berkowitz would have thought that only his biological father was still alive, and this developed (particularly later in his life) a great need to find his father, to reclaim some part of himself, and rid himself of the guilt he felt for driving his father away after (as he thought) killing his mother [2]. Another scenario during which he exhibited possession&men linked directly to death/control&women was when he would be taken to indoor pools and witnessed the thrall and power which men held over women, particulalry in situations in which there is sexual subtext, such as changing rooms [3]. 

So, great. He’s attracted to the same sex (more on this later) and death&women are interdependent concepts for him. What next? For Freud, it’s the Latency stage. This stage begins at age 7 and continues until puberty, which for boys is around 12/13 years old. This is the stage at which the Oedipal/Electral complexes begin to dissolve in order to decrease the tension and take on their  gender role (whatever that may be) as the child realises that sexual gratification exists without, not within, their parents. At this stage is usually when the child begins to become more comfortable with the same sex parent--but David has always been more attracted to the idea of his biological father, as it is all he has. It could be said, then, that the Electra complex was forced upon him by circumstance, the circumstance of his adoptive-father’s lie about his biological parents. Regardless, Berkowitz eventually becomes very close to his adoptive mother, Pearl, and began to vie for her attention, such as poisoning her parakeets in order to have nothing to compete with for her affection [4]. The typical progression of Berkowitz is entirely inverted in terms of Freudian psychosexual stages. This is a stage of negated sexuality, hence the attatchment, traditionally, to the parent of the same sex, and to make friends of the same sex; however, because Freud’s an asshole, he doesn’t consider that ✨homosexuality✨ is a concept and thinks that all children must go to the parent/friends of the same sex as sexuality cannot be prompted here. But we can take liberties here because we live in the real world. There’s nothing abnormal about Berkowitz, he was just following the pyschosexual stages as somebody interested in the same sex.

Woah! You say. But he killed women because of pent-up sexual frustration! The gun is his penis!

Sure. For most; but I’ve always felt that Berkowitz did things a little bit... differently.

The Genital stage, or the final stage, begins at puberty (12/13) and continues/ends into adulthood. As traumatising as Pearl’s death was for David, her death coincided perfectly for her metaphorical death in the psyche of 13-year-old David. During the Genital stage, sexuality is no longer ‘hidden’ (latent), and rather becomes a thing necessary to be fulfilled for emotional release. Attention turns once more to the gender in which one is interested, and David, growing up in the culture that he did, turned to women. At 15, he had his first sexual experience, a blowjob, and sources (unknown) state that he preferred ‘oral sex and petting over regular intercourse’[5]. It would be plausible that he perhaps came to prefer this, considering his one known experience with ‘regular intercourse’ resulted in a venereal disease, but I’ve always contended that maybe he preferred so-called ‘petting’ due to his... less favourable position with heterosexuality. But, as I said, I feel as if David did not explore, or rather felt he could not explore, his sexuality until later on in his life (and, even then, due to his Baptist beliefs, promoted homophobic views because, y’know, Christianity and being born in the 50s) and was, in fact, more interested in men than women. If this is grabbing at straws for anyone, I will mention his ‘homosexual fling’ [6] with inmate Gary Evans, who was long suspected to be bisexual/homosexual due to his collecting of gay magazines and, according to Hugo Harmatz, ‘love letters’[citation needed] from Berkowitz stashed amongst them.

An addendum about Berkowitz’s latent stage: when he was around 10 years old, his parents had sex whilst he was in the same bed [8]. What could be more confusing, traumatising, and shaping, than your parents doing... that... during one of the most sexually devoid periods of your life! I believe this shaped his view of performance hugely. He was shown, at a formative period, that it was okay to perform in a sexually motivated manner whilst other people were around--non-consenting other people, at that. I believe that this is the reason he took his killing out into the open. It was a sexual thrill, the killings. It was heavily related to the sexual negation of wanting to kill your mother in order to  possess your father. I am by no means saying that this is Berkowitz’s 100% proven, uncontestable motive, but the ideas of psychosexual analysis seem to apply to him in an accurate and very curious way. The traditional, heterosexual view of these stages do not match up to his psychology, but the homosexual interpretation does. 

So, we move forward to his early 20s. He returns from Korea, looking for his father, the only piece of his biological existence he believes to be alive. He still wishes, all these years later, to possess the father--the destruction of the woman has only intensified after multiple failed attempts at dating, a horrendous virginity-loss experience, and the frustration surrounding an attempt at heterosexuality. But, here we stand: his biological mother is alive, and his biological father is the one who is dead. How terribly, terribly confusing. And still, Berkowitz attempts a relationship with his biological mother and half-sister. This goes south, however, when he discovers that he was given up due to being born out of wedlock, and he drops contact with his biological family.

The disollusionment is unfathomable. His biological father, his raison d’etre, is dead. His adoptive father has moved to Florida with his new wife: this new wife has fulfiled Berkowitz’s Electra Complex, in his mind, at least. Kill the mother. Take the father. His biological mother is not who he wanted to have. His adoptive mother is dead. What is left? A display of fulfilment, sexual fulfilment, as public as it has always been shown to him--through the bedroom of his parents, through the public changing rooms. Murder on the streets. Getting to kill a woman as he always thought he had been decreed to from birth, from his first supposed mother, his biological mother.

(bibliography under the cut. thank you for reading)

Bibliography:

Radford University: Berkowitz, David [3, 8]

Simply Psychology: 5 Stages of Psychosexual Development

Tumblr/Berkowitzbrat: Exploring the Why [1]

Tumblr/True Crime and Cannibalism: David Berkowitz’s Timeline [5]

Westchester Magazine: David Berkowitz’s History in Westchester County [4]

Wikipedia: Phallic stage, Latency stage, Genital stage

Wordpress/Can’t Stop the Bleeding: How to Stuff a Wild Bikini [6]

Youtube: David Berkowitz: In His Own Words (1/9) [2]

And here’s my whole folder of resources for general Berkowitz reading materials and media: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1VKlZJwRR4bpoPzO7AejAMtAJaVoBGuTg

[notbecauseofvictories]

oh I'm interested in the tag novel on how fan spaces becoming more meat spacey benefits the producers!! also happy Halloween! 🖤🧡🖤🧡

It’s not a particularly academic argument---I don’t have sources to back this up, I haven’t done research. I’m also wary of painting a picture of “fandom” as anything more than a lot of weasels in a trenchcoat, because that word means a lot of things to a lot of different people, some of whom hate each other. But as long as everybody understands that this is the ethnographical equivalent of drunkenly throwing darts at a copy of the AJS...sure.

[under a cut because it’s long and baseless, and also I had a lot of thoughts and feelings. Sorry.]

My basic premise is that fandom occupies “fanspace.” Fanspace is not solely online, since fanzines and conventions are fanspace too, but since the 90s it has become increasingly and primarily internet based. While some websites are designated fanspace (e.g., AO3, ff.net, stand-alone fansites) fanspace is not necessarily contiguous with a hosting site (e.g., there is fanspace on tumblr, but tumblr is not a fanspace). Fanspace is really just those urls, message boards, threads, blogs, accounts, etc. designated for fandom and/or where fannish activity takes place.

Its deeply-rooted internet presence has allowed fanspace and what I call “meatspace” to operate on different rules. Meatspace has always informed fan spaces, of course---disclaimers on fic to ward off accusations of copyright infringement, for example, or asking readers to attest that they’re over 13 before reading an R-rated fic. But traditionally, fandom has accepted as norm things that don’t apply to meatspace: fake names and anonymous posts, pictures of someone else’s characters, lengthy self-published stories featuring violence, explicit sex, sometimes even gay people. Fanspace is in many ways an artificial carve out from meatspace, where fewer of its rules apply; fanspace supplements these with its own norms.

The division between fanspace and meatspace is not and has never been a clear, settled line, however. Debates on how much meatspace should inform fan spaces have been raging for as long as I’ve been on the internet, and to be fair to meatspace, it has made good points. (I’m not sure if “don’t be racist,” counts as a meatspace rule given...racism, but fandom frequently reacts to it like a meatspace intrusion so I think it should count.)

However, what used to be intra-fandom conversations have become increasingly more public, for a few reasons:

Part of this is just the natural development of the internet---it’s not like fanspace was ever hidden, but there just weren’t as many people online, and stuff was harder to find in a pre-google, pre-algorithmic promotion world.

Part of it is the changing architecture of fanspace---websites shutting down, Strikethrough, and the tumblr porn ban have all, in their own ways, served to alter fanspace and move towards more and more public-facing sites.

But part of it---and this is the biggest factor, I think---is that over the last two decades, we’ve seen content-producers** increasingly willing to engage with fandom. 

On its face, this sounds good! After all, fans like people who make things, people who make things want fans. What could possibly be wrong about both sides recognizing their mutualism?

I think this works when the most interaction you could expect with a creator was showing up a bookstore to ask Tamora Pierce a question, or writing fanmail to Paul Gross. But it falls apart when you consider just how public-facing fanspaces have become, and just how much interest content-producers have taken in cultivating the fannish audience. Content-producers engaging directly with fandom are a thumb on the scales of mutualism, and a heavy one. After all, one side of the relationship is a loosely collected anarchic cult, migrating along a series of websites they mostly don’t control, making do with nothing but ongoing wank and general obsessive tendencies. 

The other side has D*sney, Harper Collins, and Comcast.

That thumb on the scale has paid off, more than I think even the content-producers could have anticipated. Fandom is good at loving what it loves and talking loudly about it, but capitalism is way better at doing what it does---turning everything into profit. So now people pay $100 a pop to go to Harry Potter World. Conventions are well-produced extensions of their parent companies, raking in money and providing a blitz of publicity---directly to the source most likely to take your messaging and amplify it. Make a superhero movie and the minute the trailer drops you conjure up thousands of online fans will be your de facto, unpaid publicists---generating interest via fan art, fic, and controversy with minimal corporate effort.  Of course fic writers who have established online presence are the darlings of the publishing world---what publisher wouldn’t want a built-in hype machine for a new author? 

And, just coincidentally, of course, fanspace and meatspace are drawn closer together, that line further blurred by this new and very, very interested third party.

I’m not saying this is some big conspiracy. No tv exec is out there rubbing their hands together and cackling evilly about how they’re going ruin fandom. But in exchange for meatspace validation and an endless stream of new content, I think fandom has ceded important ground. And I think it’s changing fanspaces, even now:

One of the founding rules of fanspace is that it does not generate money---you risk real copyright infringement that way. (This isn’t to say that money hasn’t been involved in a few massive fandom scandals, but it’s not typical.) Increasingly, however, the grumblings about getting paid for fan art and fic have gotten louder, probably due to meatspace’s general emphasis on the side-hustle, and seeing content-producers churn out more and more fan-like things for a profit.

(It seems unimaginable now, but once upon a time the HP Lexicon was an invaluable resource, a rare unicorn in a pre-wikipedia age. Now, D*sney wouldn’t even think of releasing a tentpole movie without a novelization, a picture dictionary, and a tie-in novel.)

Also, those calls for fan art that “might be featured” by a content-producer are (rightfully) scorned for asking for work pro bono. But the takeaway seems to be “we deserve to be paid for our fan art!” rather than “how dare the content-producer intrude on our fanspace and its activities!”

Fanspaces have never expected or required legal ID, permitting anonymous or pseudonymous activity in order to protect individual privacy. And while there’s still no expectation you link your legal ID with your online/fan ID, the norm has shifted---it’s no longer considered gauche to go by your legal ID, even necessary when turning mutuals and followers into an “audience.” We’re not anonymous fans, engaged in our mutual hobby anymore---some people are doing that, and others are potential content-creators.

I’d argue that even purity wank if an example of this new blurring, classic “don’t like don’t read” arguments taking on new life now that meatspace is so nearby---we wouldn’t want to offend the neighbors!

Even these things benefit the content-producers: the more fan-like stuff they churn out, the less fanspaces will create on their own; the more fanspaces that emphasize linking legal ID to online ID, the less people will be able to engage in fan activities privately; the more meatspace rules assert themselves on fanspaces, the less fanspace we’ll have.

Now, maybe this is just...evolution. As I said before, there is a porous and shifting border between fanspace and meatspace. I remember angry threads about whether m/m fics should be rated higher than a het equivalent; I remember the tagging debates, the incredible resistance to accurately describing what happens in your fic. Maybe in a few years, my longing to return to a more separate fanspace will seem equally as embarrassing, incorrect, and unnecessary. 

But right now, it feels more like an erosion---one fandom is about as willing or able to resist as the tide.

.

** “Content maker” is a term that’s come to mean “anyone who makes something” which is sheer nonsense. There’s a difference between publishers/television producers/movie studios and someone recording a podcast in their bathroom. There’s even a difference between D*sney, a vast undead creative monopoly animated by copyright protections, and someone like James Patterson, who uses a stable of ghostwriters to churn out “his” works. We shouldn’t be scrutinizing all these things them the same way, it’s lazy, and intellectually dishonest.

[subjecta5newtella]

alright fuck it it’s been about a week the blinding rage has simmered down into a tasteful anger stew so I’m gonna talk about the crank palace a little. technically this is probably spoilery, but I don’t really go into specific plot points

there’s... a lot of shit I can point to that’s wrong in the crank palace. blatant contradictions to things in the original trilogy. pacing. weirdly explicit descriptions of violence. some truly baffling choices made when it comes to dialogue. newt forgetting glader slang for some reason? everything about how sonya and newt’s sibling relationship is handled, which is still probably something I can’t talk about without going nuclear so i’m just gonna direct you to point 4 on sami newtedison’s excellent post here. 

some of these things just make it hard to read and enjoy from a technical perspective, and some of them show that there wasn’t enough care taken to make sure basic established in-universe facts weren’t directly overwritten. while all of those are warning flags in their own right, the issue at the core of tcp is, in my distinctly less than humble opinion, that newt himself is barely a character in his own novella.

obviously at the point where the story starts, he’s not going to be the exact same newt we’ve seen throughout the trilogy. partly that’s because we’re now actually in his perspective, partly it’s because the flare is progressing so quickly, and that would create some understandable differences. the problem here is not just that he’s kind of different; the problem is he’s hardly an actual character at all.

one of The Most Basic things about characters is that their history has an impact on them. this is not fucking groundbreaking, but I say this because I literally do not think it’s achieved here. aside from his resurfacing memories (which... even then is basically all stuff we already know from tfc) we do not learn anything about newt that is not established in the trilogy, which is an incredible waste. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that when people have expressed interest in newt’s POV, it’s to get information we don’t have from the earlier books, like his time in the glade, conversations he had that thomas didn’t see, anything we couldn’t see or easily extrapolate from thomas’ perspective.

thomas in book 1 has no memories. newt, theoretically, has over two years of them at this point, so why doesn’t it feel like his pre-series past exists any more than thomas’ does? i’m not about to subject myself to a reread just to 100% fact check this, but I don’t think we get any meaningful recollection of his time in the glade before main series canon begins. there would’ve been plenty of opportunities for these kinds of things to be woven in naturally, but more crucially, there are a couple places where I think pieces of his past should have absolutely come up, and they just... don’t. 

newt obviously has leadership experience as the glade’s second in command, and yet in tst is very vocal about not wanting to be the leader. when he’s kind of thrust into a leadership position in tcp, both of those things should affect the way he acts, and yet they don’t really seem to. if we’re looking for places to sprinkle in memories, this would be a really good one. he could be thinking about the point at which he became alby’s second, the reasons he accepted, and the anxieties associated with that, all in relation to his current situation. in tcp, becoming the leader of the group of cranks is just... straight up something that happens to him because he was a WICKED subject, with no real internal strife about it. I do not like the vibe of this whole plot point anyway, but im not gonna get into that. 

in a similar vein, I swear to god dashner forgot newt used to be a runner, because there are times where it should have logically come up. there’s a point at which newt talks about minho as a runner while giving absolutely no indication that he himself also used to be one, even though during the situation in question it would be relevant for him to have the skills and memories of his time as a runner (you could argue this was forgotten in any meaningful way as of tst because a similar thing happens, but i’m not gonna go on that rant rn). this is a crucial fucking character piece! based on a loose timeline, newt was a runner until probably ~6 months before tcp. it should have an impact on the way he acts and the way he evaluates situations.

regarding minho himself, newt’s descriptions of him feel like he read the wikipedia page, not like this was a) someone he’s been through over 2 years of highs and lows with and b) one of his only surviving friends in the first place, let alone one of the only ones from that original group. and minho’s hardly the only one that gets fucked over. alby? newt’s best friend as of the first book, with whom he co-ran the glade and who literally saved his life? mentioned once, as part of a list of the dead. those are the two that immediately come to mind as deserving better based on the way we’ve seen newt interact with them previously, but none of newt’s dynamics with existing characters feel lived-in at all. I think that contributes significantly to the fact that he feels so off, and frankly, not really wildly compelling a lot of the time despite being one of the most interesting and well written trilogy characters (there’s also times where his dialogue is just... weird and ooc, but im trying to stay out of nitpicking to that degree).

and to what end?? was dashner just too lazy to write in anything more than what’s established after this long? was it because creating any too-meaningful relationships with other characters could potentially take away from the thomas/newt dynamic that it seems like he’s relying on in order to stay relevant? even for people who go hard for newtmas, I can’t imagine it could really be considered a bonus to have one character’s past and other significant relationships stripped away. also?? even though he mentioned thomas’ name a lot, I don’t feel like we got that much of a sense of a meaningful connection there either. 

there were parts I liked about tcp, which may come as a fucking shock at this point, but still. keisha was a good character, a good break from the mold in terms of anything we’d seen before in the series, and I did honestly appreciate some of her interactions with newt. some of the minor characters were kind of interesting, and there were a couple small pieces that were... surprisingly well written? i think in terms of word choice and description, his writing has improved from what we see in the trilogy, so there’s my positive feedback. also, newt bitching about the lack of fruit and vegetable offerings at the crank palace was objectively funny as shit. one of the most genuine moments of Personality in the whole thing.

this could have been something. I think some pieces would’ve worked well as a short story, in which case I wouldn’t have expected nearly as much in terms of characterization and utilization of backstory. instead we just get a lot of suffering and not much out of it, because the one thing that could’ve made it worth it was an actual deeper understanding of this character and I truly don’t feel like we got that. 

[snlangford]

Let’s Talk About Trackers...

Because of the major talk about them yesterday and how an anon tried to throw me under the bus, I want to make an informative post about the specific tracker I use and certain others do too (assuming they still use these). This will also go under a keep reading so you don’t have to scroll in case you read it and then don’t wanna scroll past it a second time.

I personally use a site called statcounter. What is stat counter? Well, let me explain with an excerpt from Wikipedia!

“StatCounter is a web traffic analysis website started in 1999. Access to basic services is free and advanced services can cost between US$5 and US$119 a month. StatCounter is based in Dublin, Ireland. The statistics from StatCounter are used to compute web usage share for example. As of May 2019, StatCounter is used on 0.9% of all websites. StatCounter statistics are directly derived from hits—as opposed to unique visitors—from 3 million sites, which use StatCounter, resulting in total hits of more than 15 billion per month. No artificial weightings are used to correct for sampling bias, thus the numbers in the statistics can not be considered to be representative samples.”

Statcounter I find has some cool features too if you do run a business site, which I aim to do in the future, here’s some of the cool analytics stuff they have if you’re a business marketer:

This above is a capture taken for the tracker on my OC blog @ / barashikki-dialoversoc

This tool here provides where the majority of your people come from, so it will help businesses to have features such as this, so StatCounter is cool to use for business and marketing.

But that’s not why we’re here, are we?

StatCounter says they provide you with IPs in hopes of blocking/banning them from your site and/or stopping fraud on your website.

Sure, that’s useful as I personally use that to block people’s IPs if they send me hate anons. But here is how it’s an issue... This specific tab, which I know M/C uses quite often from my former friendship with her: Visitor Activity

Now, let’s go there and break it down. I will be censoring sensitive information like people’s locations and IP addresses to protect them.

I want to also address the “xxx is now using 100% of its log space” too.

It may be hard to read, but it says the following 

“Your Project Bara Shikki is now using 100% of its log space. This means that your website traffic data for detailed stats older than 7 months* will be overwritten to make room for new data. You can upgrade for $9/month to increase your log to 10+ years*. If you don't mind losing this old data for detailed stats, then no action is required on your part. Summary Stats are included with all plans and are unlimited.

* Estimated based on your current traffic”

For my other blog @ / dialoving-lemons, it deletes this info in 7 days due to the high demand traffic (it is a LOT more popular than any of my other blogs despite me being on hiatus there).

So while that is good, this information stays for a while. If someone is paying for this service, they can keep this info for a long time.

Now onto the part we are mainly addressing, addresses and IPs. I will use my own visits for the example (the white censor). And yes, you can appear on your own tracker as it picks anyone up who visits the URL.

I color coded this so we can do a breakdown. 

Yellow is my city. Green is the state (will be providence if you are in another country). Then you see “United States” as the country it says I’m from. Your country’s flag also appears before your location.

^^^This here is already pretty accurate and sensitive information, and we haven’t even gotten to the second line yet.

For the second line, we have these: Purple is your internet provider. White, that’s your IP. See that tag next to it? You can click on that and make notes in it for when that person returns to your url. You can even sign up for notifications to get emails or alerts on your phone (if you have the statcounter app). How do I know this? This is how:

Incognito doesn’t have dark mode, so sorry for bright image lol

Idk about you guys, but that’d make me uncomfortable to know someone could just get a ping saying I’m visiting their page. Again, I don’t know what features M/C uses, so I can’t say if she has this or not.

So not only can you find someone’s location, internet provider, and IP (which I think is enough for someone who hack or screw you over somehow, idk. I’d want to look that info up) but you can also stalk when they’re on your blog. This is a big YIKES.

Now back to the breakdown of the image from earlier...

You can learn what device they used, their browser, get a timestamp, and also how long they were on your page. I personally don’t care sharing this info, many of us use the most updated browser of our choice and most of us are on windows 10 for computer users.

So... yeah. While I use statcounter myself to block haters and redirect their IPs so they can’t get on my page anymore, I feel this site does give out too much information. On top of that, the one we all know who uses this software also has some software that checks who unfollows her. She uses these to get dirt on people and to expose them, it is not for her safety.

Now some tips on how to be safe if you don’t want to be tracked thanks to me testing things out:

Use the tumblr app.

The tumblr app uses coding for mobile usage. It does not rely on urls, but another form of code. StatCounter cannot log this code, so you will not appear on the visitor activity tab.

View blogs in side view

This is side view for those that don’t know. Side view acts a lot like the app in terms of the coding. So viewing like this is safe for you to not appear on trackers.

StatCounter relies on you typing in and clicking on urls on someone’s tumblr page (if installed on a tumblr).

As long as you are on a way that doesn’t rely on url systems, you are safe from appearing in someone’s tracker.

And a final note, if you are going to use one like I do, for blocking haters’ IPs, then I highly recommend putting a disclaimer in your description. I immediately did that when I installed mine so people knew they’d get rerouted if they started crap with me. I personally feel that keeping it secret that you have a tracker is violating someone’s consent as you are gathering info without their permission. By saying you have one, them being able to use ways where they won’t be tracked is very useful and helps them feel at ease knowing they can decide if they’re fine popping up on your tracker or not. Here is an example disclaimer you can put if you do put one in. Feel free to copy and paste too!

"Disclaimer: I use a tracker that allows me to see visitors’ IPs so I can block them if they cause problems for me, proceed at your own risk"

[homestuckexamination]

Ideas for troll denizens part 3!

Hey, it’s me Gra-ANON DENIZEN, I just wanted to warn you that maybe this one doesn’t have the same length as the other texts, I’m addicted to Had-STUDY, yes, I’m busy studying, but well, GO!

Terezi and Themis: Time to talk about our favorite seer of mind, Terezi, but well, let’s start with Themis. Themis is an ancient Greek Titaness. She is described as “the Lady of good counsel,” and is the personification of divine order, fairness, law, natural law, and custom. Her symbols of it are the “Scales” of Justice, tools used to remain balanced and pragmatic. The personification of abstract concepts is characteristic of the Greeks. The ability of the goddess Themis to foresee the future enabled her to become one of the Oracles of Delphi, which in turn led to her establishment as the goddess of divine justice (sources taken from wikipedia). Terezi is a teal troll who has interests in things involving justice in general, unfortunately, due to “VERY natural accidents” she ended up going blind. Her sign is libra, which combines with many of her themes involving justice and balance. Terezi is a seer of mind, which is directly associated with the unifying myth of the prophet, being able to see “the results and possible actions of the characters in the plot” and using this to guide the team, as she predicted that Vriska would bring chaos and kill the rest of the remaining trolls, and kill her to avoid. Now that we look at two separately, we can see many similarities between the two, impartiality, the ability to “see the future”, justice and blindness (In addition to the “balance” theme) Themis could teach Terezi a lesson on justice and be honest with himself same (Although the second is more related to a heart Denizen).

Vriska and Cetus: AH YEEEEEEESSSSS! Finally came the part of talking about Vriska Serket, the supposedly most “Loved and hated” character. Along with Kanaya, this character has already confirmed the denizen, so there is not much speculation involving this subject, but we will go deeper “into the sea”. Cetus is a giant sea monster from Greek mythology that was killed by persey with the head of Medusa, at first glance, you wouldn’t see much connection between Cetus and Vriska, but, I can see some connections, Vriska has a serious “irrelevance” , she seems to have a serious problem with a kind of avoidance with void (unintentional pun) and Cetus seems to be much more associated with void than light, think about it, the sea is one of the greatest void symbols, the unknown, a leaf white that can be filled with many ideas, things that are in the deep sea, without anyone paying attention or giving relevance. Well, I have a friend who said that vriska and rose have cetus for being the journey of a Lightbound, “” “” “abandon the darkness” “” “” and reach the light (Or world of ideas) Although this is a topic under discussion, that is, it is just a theory, this is not a fact or the like. Cetus is considered an enigmatic being, and he could help Vriska to embrace a little void, and become a complete and healthy thief of light.

Equius and Poseidon: Okay, this is a topic to be discussed a lot, you probably looked and wondered “what does Equius have to do with Poseidon?”, Well, I remember that a month ago one had chosen Poseidon simply for being “ the god of horses ”, it was comical I must admit, but as time went by the figure of Poseidon was increasingly tied to Equius as my messy thoughts evolved. Poseidon is the god of the seas, and as I said above, the sea is very much related to void, and there are other facts that support this. Equius without Nepeta could be extremely aggressive and destructive, or, hot-headed, and the legends make it very clear that Poseidon is someone very ignorant, aggressive and hot-headed. Poseidon also ended up abusing a girl in the Medusa myth, and Equius, despite not having acted that way, he forced a relationship / love with Aradia without his own conscience. The god of the seas is also very high in the Olympic hierarchy, having a very important position as “lord of the seas”.

Okay, I thought this post would be short, but it is almost bigger than the second … well, thanks for reading!

It’s always nice to see you drop more of these! I am sorry I don’t have much to say though, I just enjoy reading it! I haven’t done greek deep-dives, so these parallels and stuff are always fun!

[everything-laito]

could you analyze Q.E.D? owo

Anon, you do not even REALIZE how long I’ve wanted to do this. Song lyrics are always challenging for me though, which is why I’ve never gotten around doing it. But, since I have confidence in Laito’s character and his context, I think I can do it. I get most of my DL song lyrics from Silvermoon on live journal, so special thanks to them! If you wanna listen to Q.E.D, it’s on my Soundcloud!

Please note that this analysis is a lot more loose because it’s from a song. Stuff like this is typically up to interpretation even more than Laito’s regular game script. After writing this, I discovered that @/the-madame21 had her own interpretation that QED is Laito talking to Cordelia inside of Yui. So I’m just getting imposter syndrome thinking that this analysis isn’t good enough because it’s not as “confident” as my other ones, but oh well! I hope you enjoy my interpretation too!

Let’s dive in! (and if you have anything to add on, please do, I had a bit of trouble with figuring some stuff out; song lyrics are pretty much poetry which is my weakness haha) Full thing under the cut!

As time passes, the more it expires, fading away Love dies only when growth stops If everything was laid bare, no matter what, Would the heat of the feelings from that day lessen?

I do believe the first line has to do with Laito being a vampire, with his seemingly eternal life. I don’t know what he means by “that day,” either it has to do with Cordelia or Yui. I had trouble understanding what “if everything was laid bare” so I looked up an alternative translation that said “If everything were gone, and nobody could change what went wrong,” Both essentially say the same thing, so I know it’s just a translational choice. So, I believe this is Laito questioning his emotions and thoughts about how love works. 

His statement of “Love dies only when growth stops” sounds more of a definite one; like he’s confident in it. It’s also an absolute statement, which we should all know that absolute statements should be avoided, because there are always exceptions. To me, this implies that he doesn’t have a lot of experience with love––aside from the feelings he’s experienced. Which we know is true (until Yui really, considering this his his more blood character song) and we know it’s not true love with him and Cordelia. 

I think the “growth” part in that really made me think. What does he mean by growth? I’m not fairly experienced in romantic love, but I do know love of any kind (platonic, family) you both grow together or off of each other. It’s a constructive relationship, but the “when growth stops” stumped me, because people typically never stop growing. But, in Laito lingo I think “growth” might mean until he gets bored? It makes sense to his character but I can’t say for sure. 

Even if my life was surely coming to and end, Entertaining the faint hope that this blood of mine will be passed on, The crystal of love it emitted in your body, “……―――It’s meaningless”

This... Kinda sounds like the hint of getting someone pregnant, but I really don’t think this is the case. The “crystal love” is also hard to say what that’s about, but I believe that has to do with biting/fangs. To Laito, pleasure = love, and in this case specifically, (whether we’re dealing with Cordelia or Yui) pain (typically from fangs) = pleasure = love. As for him mentioning his blood, I’m not sure if that’s a reference to turning Yui into a vampire in the first game (x to doubt kinda) or Yui and Laito “intertwining/becoming one” at the end of his More Blood’s route. But, I’m not sure! Because blood as a motif means many things within DL and in real life. 

I do believe this is Laito going back and forth believing in love or not. He’s been through so much shit which is why he says “its meaningless” despite him “entertaining the faint hope.” He’s shutting down his optimistic thoughts in an attempt to be realistic. 

Ah, as time passes, Even if it was somehow replaced, There’s no proof that I ever loved you or anything “………Because I didn’t want to say it”

THIS. THIS. GOD, it kills me. I do think by this point we know he’s talking about Yui. Sure he’s told Yui that he loves her but it was more of a meaningless thing. Yet again he says it genuinely in the scene where him and Yui do it consensually. So, I don’t know! This whole song is vague!!! But what else do we expect from him. 

He’s basically saying that if he moved on to love someone else, there was no proof that he loved them, but like how he directly says, it’s because he didn’t want to say it. Hesitance like this probably links back to the previous lyrics of him going back and forth with whether love has meaning or not. 

After all, it’s all over, isn’t it? In time, won’t everything disappear, no matter what? So without robbing us of our ‘now,’ stringing the memories together, As the continuous bloodsucking stretched out into ‘eternity,’ If you say you wish for ‘immortality,’ We’ll prove it now! Together with you, Q. E. D. ―――…………!!!!!

Queue “It’s Over, Isn’t It” from Steven Universe This is like... optimistic nihilism (which I so vibe with lol) and I think this is Laito saying he just wants to focus on the present and get rid of the thoughts he previously said in this song (whether it be through healthy ways or unhealthy ways... it’s probably the latter). This does insinuate Yui’s presence, and him turning her into a vampire. This I believe is just another distraction for him to attempt to avoid his circling, depressing thoughts.

Now we gotta talk about what QED means. QED is an acronym for the Latin phrase “quod erat demonstrandum,” which means “what was to be shown.” In math or a philosophical argument, it’s used at the end of an argument or problem to basically say “it’s been proven.” Wikipedia also adds on that it can mean “thus it has been demonstrated” when used in this light. 

Laito’s “QED” is his desperate effort to prove if his feelings and thoughts are correct. Man it’s taken me years to actually figure out what he means by this, but this is my own interpretation. 

As the time of death approaches, the nearer it draws, coming into view There is always light behind No matter who, everyone is praying to someone There is just little remaining of that day, isn’t there?

I’m still so confused what he means by “that day.” I know this is Laito we’re talking about, but come on LOL. From this I have a feeling it’s about Cordelia and maybe the first day she abused him? I’m not sure. Maybe it’s meaning that he’s moving beyond Cordelia. I do like these lyrics because it’s super poetic. As for the “everyone is praying to someone,” this doesn’t mean everyone believes in a god, this just means that everyone has that one person they either look up to or look to gain a moral compass. That’s what a religion (to my understanding) essentially is at its basis. 

Even if we quietly tried to abandon hope, Your lips on mine again and again, as this bittersweet time passes by somewhere, The crystal of love it left within my heart, “……―――It’s worthless”

This is Laito admitting that he’s feeling love really. This is through Yui’s own love too. But him saying “it’s worthless” is another desperate attempt at him trying to be “realistic” and to not get his hopes up. 

Hey―――………Shall we dream? That we fell ill, and there were days we couldn’t see If the proof that the two of us were alive is stained red, “………Forgive me”

The way he says “forgive me” in the song is SO desperate and sad. But I think this implies that he’s asking for forgiveness for his past actions? I do think that he knows he’s twisted but he just doesn’t know anything else aside from his normalcy. Sure his actions aren’t justified but they’re explainable. 

I also think his “dream” he suggests is maybe he wants to feel alive? Maybe him feeling like his feelings “aren’t valid” because he feels that they’re “human” emotions. Because in the games he repeatedly states how he’s a vampire and not alive etc but it’s interesting how he says “if the proof that the two of us were alive” like woah buddy

The tone that depicted the future of tomorrow always shattered in your ear In your torn eardrum, it left behind a dangerous red wish As the continuous whispers stretched into ‘eternity,’ If you say you wish for ‘immortality,’ We’ll prove it now! Together with you, Q. E. D. ―――…………!!!!!

This might reference that really.... awful.... terrible.... scene in ecstasy 04 of HDB. (I think it’s 04 ((edit: its 03 LOL I should’ve checked)) but it’s the really really uh awful one) But again I’m not sure. He does still reference turning Yui into a vampire though which is interesting, because that’s the only thing I can think of an “eternal love” being.

“If there’s no such thing as ‘eternity,’ I want to destroy this time… That’s…what I’d wished……”

This man really just wants to grasp onto things for eternity, goddamn. I think that he still just wants to distract himself or something because I’m not sure what else he would mean by that. 

Only this feeling, Forgetting the ‘warmth’ that lived, Somehow, it’s becoming vague That’s not the only thing―――……!

This seems that he’s slowly forgetting Cordelia’s “love”, which is nice. Because it’s been a long time and the whole “that’s not the only thing” might imply that he’s losing himself in other ways too aside from the feeling of Cordelia. 

After all, it’s all over, isn’t it? In time, won’t everything disappear, no matter what? So without robbing us of our ‘now,’ Stringing the memories together, as the continuous bloodsucking Stretched out into ‘eternity,’ If you say you wish for ‘immortality,’ We’ll prove it now! Together with you, Q. E. D. ―――…………!!!!!

(I already analyzed these lines haha) but wow I love this song. I know this isn’t as confident as my other analyses but I hope this suffices, anon! 

As always, thanks for reading, and the ask box is open for any business you may have with me!

Ciao! -Corn

[vaguely-concerned]

Some T.F./Graves thoughts from their bios

I realize what a dumb move it is to base uuuuh basically anything on lol bios, since riot apparently change those like other people do underwear, but if I’m not here to build my castles on sand what am I here for honestly  

- I LOVE the description of their first meeting, it’s such a meet cute lol... these two assholes really did just take one look at each other and mutually went ‘so is anyone gonna enter into a life-defining homoerotic partnership with this lying cheating bastard??’ and then neither of them waited for an answer 

- Though at times Twisted Fate would blow all their shares and leave them with nothing to show for it, Graves knew that the thrill of some new escapade was always just around the corner…

I am genuinely a little emotional about how obvious it is that at the end of the day the money really is secondary to him - what really drives him is how much FUN they have together. (he seems in general quite driven by that sense of Adventure; if it were just about the cash he had steady work in bilgewater before he took the trip over to the mainland as a kid) it’s like the part of ‘the road to el dorado’ in the boat except more sincere... ‘you made my life an adventure bro’ :’) 

(also very funny that graves’ bio is where you learn that t.f. doesn’t always win or get away with his shit hahaha, in his own bio it’s played like ‘oh gotta let people win once in a while to throw off suspicion’ flasdhfjsad. it’s mentioned he gets caught a lot more without graves watching his back too, which also gets me in my feelings a bit) 

- one thing I find interesting is that t.f.’s parents aren’t referenced directly at any point (the only family members mentioned specifically are his aunt and grandfather, I’m pretty sure). I’m wondering if they were already out of the picture somehow and that’s part of the reason no one spoke up for him? I mean it’s fucked up either way, I don’t know what’s worse; that his people found it so easy to exile him because he didn’t have anyone to protect him, or that his parents were alive and JUST LEFT HIM THERE. like what the fuck. from how it’s written it’s pretty clear he was still considered a child at the time too, so, y’know. (Graves is described as ‘little more than a youth’ when he headed for the mainland while T.F. seems to have been a kid when he started being on his own, so I’ve headcanoned something like 16-17 and 13-14 for their respective ages of leaving home, with both of them around 19 when they met) I’m quite curious about what kind of internal family politics were at work for them to apparently all agree -- or perhaps be too intimidated to disagree -- to exile a child for life with no recourse and no resources. like yeah okay he messed up but that’s some next level assholery to pull on a kid honestly, no wonder he grows up to have a bunch of abandonment and emotional intimacy issues (and presumably some prime survivor’s guilt as well. oh buddy) 

- eternally entertained by how much meeting t.f. is worded like the ‘how they met their spouse’ section of a wikipedia article in graves’ bio

Across one table, he met a deplorable fellow named Malcolm Graves is also *mwha* so good 

- for fic purposes I would just like to give a moment of thanks for the paragraph in graves’ bio that mentions a bunch of shenanigans they got up to back in the day, very useful thank you

- from what I understand t.f.’s exile-causing transgression has been changed quite recently from fighting back to running away, which I am so happy about because it makes a lot more psychological sense to me and makes graves’ words in ‘burning tides’ hit so much better.  

- I like that their individual descriptions of graves being captured are so indicative of how they each think about it -- namely t.f. doesn’t want to think about it (repress! repress! repress! very relatable) but probably has the more accurate view of it: The exact details of that night remain shrouded in mystery, for neither of them likes to speak of it—but Graves was taken alive, while Tobias and their other accomplices ran free, while graves does think about it but sort of still has his trauma goggles on for it: During a heist that rapidly turned from complex to completely botched, Graves was taken by the local enforcers, while Twisted Fate merely turned tail and abandoned him. t.f.’s is obfuscating and refusing to engage in the emotional aspect of it, graves’ is much more emotive in the language used, like ‘abandoned’. the lol bios often teeter awkwardly between straight biographies and wanting to dip into prose/flavour text, I must say I usually find them very clunky and unsatisfying, but this juxtaposition works for me.

sort of weird the details that don’t make it in, though -- like the fact that they’re both aware that miss fortune was the one who screwed them over in the whole gangplank Situation? (I love that part in ‘destiny and fate’ where graves is gamely like ‘yeah of course I’ve got a grudge against her but that was pretty metal too so y’know *shrug*’ haha)   

- it’s interesting how much t.f.’s uh connection I guess to the cards is almost described as some kind of... compulsion/unstoppable drive in the middle of his bio and then fades into the background towards the end (because his priorities have changed to repairing his marriage now that it’s an option and by god I support him in that). I really do wonder how his card magic actually works -- it’s a cool mix of extremely unsubtle and undeniable sorcery (straight up throwing fireballs around) and subtle (’hunches’, being ‘guided’, just knowing things he sort of shouldn’t), which seems to be where it started

also it seems like he can do it with just about any playing card he comes across? would be sort of weird if it’s the cards that are special, considering he keeps throwing them away and also I don’t know a lot about gambling but I distinctly imagine that casinos don’t let you use your own decks haha. and t.f. seemingly can’t do magic just on his own, without them. so it’s a thing that happens very specifically in relationship, when all the elements come together, symbiotically sort of thing? could he do magic without the cards but it’s how he’s trained himself to think of it so he doesn’t realize it (well I honestly doubt that but just for the thought experiment)? is there some sort of spirit behind those cards looking out for him? is it lady luck keeping an eye out for her favorite boy lol? we know this stuff can physically change the cards like when they showed the crown in ‘destiny and fate’, and he seems able to ‘prime’ a card with magic beforehand if ‘double-double cross’ is anything to go by, but even then mf can’t actually use or release it. hmmmmm many questions  

- the more of my long fic I write the more I am questioning what the fuck these two DO with all the money they steal -- like they’ve clearly pulled off some HUGE heists, surely it can’t all go into like drinks and cigars and fancy waistcoats and tf’s seemingly unending supply of playing cards

do they have like. a bunch of small caches of gold hidden away all across two continents in case of emergency? are their buried treasures the stuff of runeterran urban legend and people go out hunting for them? Have they invested this stuff in actual banks? (actually no I refuse to accept that as a possibility lol if nothing else this would make it hard to figure out if they were robbing THEMSELVES sometimes, sounds like a lot of hassle)

- His people had always waved away concerns over primitive magic and “cartomancy”, but now Tobias began to seek out ever more dangerous means to bend the cards to his will. 

I’m having a little bit of a hard time parsing this -- does this mean his people didn’t believe the cards were magic at all and he’s the only person he knows who can do it, or do they know but just don’t think can be dangerous??? I chose one particular interpretation for my fic, but I honestly can’t figure out what it’s actually meant to mean haha

- T.F. getting a special satisfaction from robbing people who are Assholes is a good character detail (his colour story really goes out of its way to show that the merchant he’s playing against is a real shitbag, for example); there is some lopsided form of righteousness/sense of justice there, I think. and it also ties in with why I like that his exile was because he ran away rather than because he resorted to violence -- there’s this underlying sense that he particularly enjoys outsmarting people who’re dickish to outsiders in precarious situations (like his people) so thoroughly that they don’t even realize it before he’s long gone, without ever having to even lay a finger on them, because that’s a way to fight back while staying out of reach when you come from relative powerlessness. There’s a... lack of malice, I guess, to both of them that I find quite endearing, you can see in Burning Tides that even at his most mindlessly vengeful Graves doesn’t actually enjoy being actively cruel. ‘mutual sense of roguish honor’ is RIGHT they’re bad men but not Bad men you get me  

- All in all, Twisted Fate is glad to have his old friend back, even if it might take another job or two—or ten—to restore their once easy partnership.

This probably means nothing because as I said the lol bios seem an endlessly shifting kaleidoscope of canon, but I think it’s so sweet that both of their last sentences/’where are they now’ statements are about them wanting to repair their partnership (and do some Cool Big Stuff together in graves’ case, I do wonder if that’s foreshadowing for the ruined king game or what)

[cake-warlock]

The Reaver Cannon-drum

(I’d like to preface this by saying that this shouldn’t be taken as peer-reviewed academic research. I am not an expert on any of the following subjects and may be wrong. If you ARE an expert on this stuff, please feel free to correct me! I’d love to hear your input)

So let’s talk about the wildest piece of Reaver lore I’ve ever found. Just as a preface, the excerpts I’m about to post are from the official Fable novella Reaver by Peter David.  Unlike some of the other official Fable literature, this one does not include the warning at the beginning saying it isn’t officially canon (this is because some novels make assumptions about player characters and player choices, therefore can’t be considered canon for each and every player’s worldstate). Because it’s about Reaver’s history before Fable 2 and contains no player characters of player decision influence, we can assume it’s meant to be canon. (EDIT: apparently they may have redacted the short stories, BUT THEY WERE CANON AT ONE POINT. Plus IDK if they redacted the historical parts since we learn about some of this from Dread when you meet his ghost in the second game so ???) Now this novella details the events that took place in order for Reaver to earn the title Pirate King in which he single-handedly dispatches Captain Dread’s entire crew on Captain Dread’s own ship. It’s a great short story! But one part of it caught my attention.

In this passage, Reaver has managed to barricade himself on the gundeck and intends on shooting a cannon straight up into the ceiling/deck in order to destroy the mast. It sounds cool and all, but begs the question how physically strong is Reaver? Let’s take a look! So the Age of the Sail, the time period in which international trade was mostly done by sailing ships, took place from 1571 to 1862, and the Golden Age of Piracy was between the 1650s and 1730s.  These will be roughly the analogous real-life time periods I’ll be pulling historical examples from.  Now I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt and say that it isn’t actually a full cannon he’s lifting since those were actually discontinued in the 1700s because they were too unwieldy. I’ll say it’s a demi-canon, also known as a 32-pounder.  This refers to the weight of each cannonball one would use as artillery with the canon, which, by the way, Reaver whiffs one-handed at a man hard enough to kill him in an earlier passage.

Meanwhile I have trouble lifting a 20 lb box of cat litter with both hands.  For reference, the heaviest weight bowling ball used by professional bowlers is 16 lbs. A full-sized cannon uses 42 lb cannonballs, just fyi.  

Okay so a demi-cannon weighs about 5,600 lbs according to Wikipedia (though one of the ones they gave as an example was recorded as being “60 hundredweight”) and is 11 ft long.  The average modern car weighs 2,780 lbs for reference. SO accounting for the cannon itself at 5,600 lbs, the 32 lb cannonball inside it, and the 18 lbs of black powder required to fire one of these things, we’re looking at 5,650 lbs total.

Now my next question was would the fact that there was a fulcrum in the center affect the force needed to point it directly upward? Could it be used as a lever? Well I did a lot of research on calculating torque and accounting for weight distribution (I even emailed my high school physics teacher) before I realized something pretty obvious…

The cannon base is too short to point the cannon directly upward.

Not without lifting up wholesale at some point at least. To prove that the cannon base was too short to rotate it 90 degrees straight up I did a little research on naval cannons via my university library (online of course, social distancing and all that). I managed to find a copy of The Art of Gunnery, written in 1647 by master gunner and mathematician Nathaniel Nye.  He suggests the use of a Gunner’s Rule or Gunner’s Quadrant, devices meant to help the gunners measure the degree angle at which the cannon is raised to ensure accurate firing.

So to find the angle the cannon is raised at you have to use a lil’ math. I took the maximum effective range of the demi-cannon (1600 ft), converted it to the average pace measurement because that’s what Nye wrote all his measurements in (2.5 ft = 1 pace,  1600 ft = 640 paces), and plugged that into his chart of gunner quadrant degrees to cannon range in paces(the Table of Randons), and found that the gunner quadrant should be set at just above 10 degrees. So it looks like the highest you should be raising a cannon for it to accurately hit a target is only TEN DEGREES. That’s nowhere NEAR the 90 degrees Reaver mentions. There would be no reason to build a cannon that could swivel to 90 degrees. In fact, according to one illustration showing the measurments of a demi-cannon on the warship the Mary Rose, the fulcrum is placed 6.5 ft from the end of the barrel, which means to account for the fact 4.5 ft of the 11 ft long barrel would need to fit under the fulcrum to go to 90 degrees, the cannon would need to be FOUR AND A HALF FEET OFF THE GROUND.

So Reaver would HAVE to have picked up that 5,650 pound cannon, according to me timing a bunch of demi-cannon firing recreation video, in under 2.5 seconds.

WHAT 

THE 

FUCK???

That’s 500 pounds more than the average weight of a RHINOCEROS.

So on top of being the Hero of Skill, Reaver is also unfathomably strong. Like ridiculously otherworldly strong. (Put THAT in your fanfictions, cowards)

And all of this raises and even more terrifying question

How strong is Hannah?

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

I received a question longer than 8 parts that I’m going to post here (it was off anon, so I’m not revealing the identity of the question asker). I’m not going to answer it because my FAQ very clearly sets an 8 question limit and also as you will see it didn’t actually provide a lot of useful information despite the length. I am however going to talk through some of the issues, specifically relating to unnecessary information. Needless to say this will be a very long post hence the read more link.

Before I begin I want to give the origins of the 8 question limit:

-it’s an arbitrary number. felt it was generous and iirc I did go back and look at some past questions to see what was on the longer but still reasonable side

-I did it mainly because copying and pasting each individual question is tedious and also there is a limit to how much I’d like to read and also some people see ‘no more than 8 parts’ and instead of interpreting this as “I should edit myself as thoughtfully as possible” say “I should expand whatever I have to say to 8 parts long, even if it really is only 6 parts worth of material” so 8 was a number I could live with.

-I have yet to find an 8+ part question that couldn’t have been edited to a much shorter question while still keeping the same amount, case in point:

I'm asking for outside help because I've been on a hamster wheel for years where I believe I found my type get happy for a couple hours/days, find all the "signs" of me being that type all along and then...wake up not believing it. Or I see/read something that type is supposed to do/think like that doesn't fit me at al, or see someone I'd like to be like that it's another type and start digging again. I desperately need to arrive at a final typing because it's driving me crazy, I can't quit 1/9

Any preamble that amounts to “could you please type me” can be summarized to “could you please type me?”, a 5 -word phrase. This might however be the preamble that hits the most of my “oh I do not want to engage with this” buttons though:

Long and pleading which makes me kind of uncomfortable, like I do not know you and I don’t handle pleading and begging well anyway

Overinvestment in figuring out their type when often it’s times like this when taking an extended break from MBTI would likely be the best thing for you and indeed your overemphasis in getting an answer rather than learning about yourself might be what’s making it so hard to type

Also when someone says they’ve been trying and trying for years I get nervous because there is a very real chance they’re going to say a lot of stuff that is consciously or unconsciously pulled directly from MBTI descriptions and it’s going to be absolutely useless to work with.

[I should note for this and the rest of my criticism: I have, obviously a whole lot of preferences and dislikes and expecting you to cater to all of them would be completely ridiculous. Had this been an 8-part question I would have answered it, even if that answer might have been “I can’t tell”. As is, however, I’m hoping this might serve as some insight into how to make your question as good as possible which as a bonus will make me more likely to spend lots of time on it because I will be impressed and delighted by your effort.]

When interested in something I gotta find out how it works, or how it’s made. I find that as interesting as the thing itself. I see the way different elements can influence each other in arriving at a certain outcome, and I make decisions according to it. I trust my own reading of what’s probably going on. I trust patterns, things are often connected, not a coincidence. I usually judge fast and hard. I can change my mind very quickly if new facts comes in, but I’m very rarely neutral or 2/9

Some examples would be nice. I mean maybe this person is intuitive and maybe a thinker, although that first preamble didn’t sound very thinker to me, but also everything here is purely in the realm of subjectivity. Obviously we’re going to be subjective about ourselves, but a big part of why I want examples is that it forces people to not say stuff that sounds like it’s ripped directly from a type description.

or uncertain about things/people.I don’t like to make promises because of independence and not wanting to promise what I can’t deliver. I dedicate so much time to my personal hobbies I forget my chores. I tend to get obsessed in finding an answer to something until I get so dizzy/overwhelmed I’m forced to step back (typing myself in different theories is the best example). Hate to see people passing on wrong information and therefore misleading others. I gotta step up and correct them. 3/9

This is fine, I’d still like clearer and more specific examples but it’s fine; the one criticism is when someone starts taking about how they approach MBTI as an example in typing them it’s like PLEASE DO A HOBBY THAT ISN’T ABOUT NAVEL-GAZING, IT WILL IRONICALLY BE MORE HELPFUL.

I have very high standards, specially towards myself. My pride is heavily tied to being great at the things I care about, or am expected to perform. Really can’t stand biased judgements and behaviour by others, and police it in myself too. Truth is my #1 value. I have a natural thirst for and ease at handling a lot of data about whatever I’m interested in. One of biggest pet peeves is resistance to facts. I’m highly observant of things and people around me, there’s so much information I get 4/9

 Okay this sounds kind of like a repeat/rephrasing of a lot of the information in the first two actual content parts (talking about interests, thirst for knowledge, judgement), and editing that down probably could have saved you an ask space thus getting you your answer. If you find yourself running long, go back and see if you are repeating yourself. I do this a lot! When I make blog posts here I don’t care, because this is my place and I do what I want, but I have a tendency to ramble in emails too and I always do a second pass if it’s longer than a paragraph to make sure all the information in there is helpful in making the point I need to make and isn’t repetitive (unless my point is DON’T FORGET THIS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD in which case some thoughtful repetition is often good).

advice, or cried in front of others myself so I can’t relate.I’m very open minded when it comes to physical differences, cultures, orientations etc. But I have a Strong sense of wrong and right that when crossed leads to indignation and promptly “cancealing” people, cutting them off my life. I felt very uneasy when I realized that things I felt a connection to (favorite color, number, animal, flower) lost their meaning to me. Logically I know it’s not a big deal, but it felt like I lost 6/9

so I think we lost a question here (I got 9 questions, but the last question said 10/10) which is another reason to keep it short – fewer opportunities for tumblr to eat it. Although, had two questions been eaten by Tumblr I would have probably answered this, but that’s probably not a gamble you want to make. Anyway this is emphasizing the strong judgements again, and a little emphasis is actually fine – it helps me know what is really important to you – but again, if you’re running long that should be a thing to cut, after the unnecessary preamble.

something. .I need to express my thoughts/opinions, but my feelings are private.I have a huge fear of failure that holds me back. I’m terrified of finding out I suck at what I’d love to do, so I keep that as a fantasy and don’t try it out, to not kill the possibility. I have self sabotaged to keep myself in “safe” spaces but I have realized the reason I’ve been so restless is because I have to honor my ambitions which have always been big and bold. Mistakes and deficiencies jump out at me 7/9

 The information here is mostly fine (although again with the expressing and strong feelings), but it’s also again without examples. There have been precious few examples here, and that’s really difficult to type from – again, I’m not saying it’s easy or even fully possible to be objective about yourself, but sometimes people say “I have a thirst for knowledge” and it means they are pursuing a PhD in philosophy, and sometimes it means they are someone who thinks that reading Wikipedia pages is a personality. [brief aside on that – I don’t want to say reading Wikipedia pages is bad. It’s not. I do it. Yesterday I was interested in how African prints were made and I looked up the Wikipedia page on them, which after a few clicks into related subjects brought me to a page about the androgynous water deity Olukun who originated in Yoruba faith traditions, and it was super interesting. But like…this is just a thing most generally curious people do and not a particularly unique or special indicator that you are smart, which is how it often seems to be intended.] Anyway my point is: examples, examples, examples. If you give specific examples I will be so much happier and more excited to type you because I actually feel like I can say something meaningful.

like neon, I can make very precise and detailed of anything’s quality in seconds. I have little patience with people that are not interested in improvement or resist positive change. Something that drives me nuts is lack of punctuality and money managing skills. I’m very annoyed by unrealistic people that ignore logic or constraints like resources. I’m equally impatient with people who only operate on what’s on the surface and is accepted as true: people who never question the common sense 8/9

Again there’s just…no examples. There’s also been a lot about what this person likes and doesn’t like about other people, and that would better be taken up by information (and examples!) about themself.

or status quo, that trust everything authorities” or the media tells them and never do their own research.I often don’t feel the need to actually do things to see if they’ll work, or try things out to see if I’ll like them. I’m pretty certain of things even before I experience them. I’m not inclined to be diplomatic and persuade. I convince by proving something with evidence, or making they see reason through logic argumentation, and point out possible consequences of choices. I compare 9/9

I’m always a little skeptical of people who think The Media is a monolith, just in general, but that’s neither here nor there. Also, here’s a reason why examples are useful – they provide context into the situation which addresses the very natural conflicts within people, vs. this: “I often don’t feel the need to actually do things to see if they’ll work, or try things out to see if I’ll like them. I’m pretty certain of things even before I experience them” coming from someone who just claimed they value truth above all. Like…this is at least in my opinion the opposite of what someone who values truth would say, because a person who values truth would check if things worked. Which isn’t to say this person is lying – but it means I’m going to have trouble because without, ironically enough, any evidence, which they say they like to use, I don’t know which of those conflicting statements is true or even if they are truly in conflict and just situationally dependent.

things/people a lot naturally because the similarities (and disparities) between them jump out. It’s hard for me to be really surprised at things, or at a person’s character.I’m impatient with learning and doing things that involve many steps/processes. I want to learn everything fast and am just now learning to grow discipline to stick to things in the long run if I don’t see quick progress. I find half baked concepts and theories very annoying, I don't like much ambivalence or vagueness 10/10

I don’t like much ambivalence or vagueness either, but here we are. Also, saying that you tend not to stick with things in the long run and are just developing the ability to do so if you don’t see quick progress does kind of make me have questions about you desperately trying to figure out your MBTI type for years as claimed before. Less is more because it gives you fewer opportunities to contradict yourself.

 Anyway, the takeaway: keep your preamble short (seriously - almost every time someone goes over the 8-part limit it’s at least partially because they talked about their MBTI typing journey for 1-2 asks when a single well-phrased sentence would be far more useful), keep your examples concrete and specific, focus on yourself more than what you think of others, and read what you wrote before sending it to me.

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Hana no Shou Yamazaki After Story Translation

My attempt at translating the 「薄桜鬼 真改 華ノ章」ステラワース早期予約特典　ブロマイド　 山崎烝 - Hakuoki Shinkai Hana no Shou Stellaworth Early Reservation Bonus Yamazaki Susumu short story from Chinese to English. 

Finally got around to finishing this... and honestly, after Saito, I like Yamazaki the most (for me, hijikata is 3rd for the feels trip, kazama is 4th for the lore and angst while harada is 5th). He’s just so adorable.... and I think his route is very sweet. Also I love how Shimada is when watching Yamazaki and Chizuru lol. 

^pic is me wanting to post this for no real reason aside from it being cute.

Anyway here’s my last post of the month so if you can, support me on ko-fi here plz~ https://ko-fi.com/V7V2W0HO also check out my “stuff i’m looking for list” if you own any cds since i am missing audio for a number of dramas i have Chinese translations for....

oh, and happy labour day weekend (well, to those that it applies to). Still really busy rn btw....

enjoy!

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Hakuoki Shinkai Hana no Shou Stellaworth Early Reservation Bonus Yamazaki Susumu After Story

Translation by KumoriYami

Yamazaki Susumu who had served as a member of the Shinsengumi's Watch/been a member of the Watch as part of the Shinsengumi for a long period of time, had been a doctor at the Yukimura clinic for half a year. And during one night——

Yamazaki, who was left alone in the clinic, heard/sensed a door open behind him.

"Susumu-san."

Looking back, standing there was his beloved wife —— Yukimura Chizuru.

"Do you want to take a break? Last night you were also reading late....

Her large eyes were full of anxiety. She looked very worried about Yamazaki.

Although he was very grateful for her taking care of him...

"Now isn't the time to sleep, I still need to remember the basics of LanXue/Western studies as quickly as possible, and I won't feel sleep at night.

[I left the term Lan Xue "蘭學” here since I'm not entirely sure of my interpretation of the phrase and put in "Western studies" since I recall that term from the game... which kinda seems to fit? Anyway, according to Wikipedia that was put through google translate, Lan Xue "refers to the Japanese Edo period by the Dutch incoming general term for Japanese academic, cultural, technological, academic literally Netherlands, the idea could be interpreted as the Western academic (referred to as oceanography ). Lanxue is a kind of learning developed by the Japanese through exchanges with the people of the island. Lanxue allowed the Japanese to understand Western technology and medicine during the period of the Edo Shogunate policy (1641-1853)." This was taken directly from from https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/蘭學.]

Yamazaki knows well that the books/studies he needs for the future will not be about Chinese medicine and acupuncture, but rather Western medicine based on LanXue/Western studies.

That said, it's not easy to understand the literature/words of a foreign country, so it is necessary to decrease [the time spent] resting to learn/study.

Chizuru, she should understand his way of thinking——.

"Please rest today."

Her admonishing tone in her speech left Yamazaki at a loss/ perplexed Yamazaki..

".....What’s going on? You wouldn't normally say that, would you?"

".............."

Her expression sank for a bit. Finally, she spoke....

"I think Susumu-san is as if he were back in the past, and I can't help but feel uneasy."

"In the past... like that?"

"Yes. Not only do you stay awake at night and give me the feeling that you were always fighting for the Shinsengumi... [it] felt that [you] were eager to die."

Hearing such an accusation without warning, Yamazaki could not say a second sentence.

However ——.

(Since I was watching my Chizuru all the time, there shouldn't be anything wrong/things should be okay) [says 我的千鶴 which is my Chizuru]

Looking back at his actions in the past months, Yamazaki deeply reflected on himself/his actions.

“Sorry, I worried you. However I'm definitely not in a hurry to die...."

His words stopped half-way. Chizuru (then) urged/pressed him [to continue] as she tilted her head.

What he said afterwards was really embarrassing, but if he didn't speak, he wouldn't be able to eliminate/dispel her worries/concerns.

"Do you remember the other day when Ibuki's wife brought their child over to play?"

"Yes, I remember it well. That child is very like his mother, truly cute/adorable."

"Seeing that child, I though: I can't allow these children to die before they grow up."

Although not all Western culture was good, he believed that Western medicine at least could help many people suffering from diseases.

"Susumu-san...."

Chizuru's eyes were full of admiration.

Then, she squinted her eyes and smiled.

"I think it's a very good idea. I also want to help my husband Susumu-san."

"Ye, yes...."

She spoke so bluntly, Yamazaki couldn't help but be confused and realized he could not remain calm.

When he heard this sentence (alt: these words) from Chizuru's lips [says mouth but I think it sounds better this way], he thought - it's truly wonderful that I chose her (alt: this might say - it's truly wonderful that she chose him) [this part of the sentence lacks pronouns... so it can be technically can be interpreted 2 ways].  

"But today please rest. It's not easy to get used to getting up in the morning and sleeping at night.... and lack of sleep can cause a misdiagnosis.

In actuality, he wanted to read more tonight....

“I know, today I will listen to you.  After all, when it comes to Western medicine, you are (my) senpai/predecessor.”

Yamazaki said that as he looked [alt: gestured, though i’m not entirely sure here] over the books.

"No, how can I be your senpai/predecessor...! I have nothing to teach Susumu-san."

"Don't be so humble. I was helped a lot by you when studying/learning Western studies.”

It's the truth, but to Chizuru, it was a very embarrassing compliment.

When he cleaned up his disk, Yamazaki thought of something.

“Speaking of which/by the way, we were just talking about Ibuki's child...”

"Yes. He is a very lovely child."

"Ah, yes.... ah. But, uh...."

Yamazaki was unable to truthfully speak about what he wanted to talk about, thus he hesitated.

Confused by his appearance, Chizuru blinked and asked.

"What's wrong? Is there something that you're worried/concerned about?"

"No, it's not...."

If spoken, would she misunderstand? This doubt kept Yamazaki quiet.

"If you want to say something, please speak. I want to know what you are thinking."

Having been urged by her, Yamazaki made up his mind to speak his thoughts.

"That.... I want/think (that) we should really consider it....."

"Consider, yes —— "

Because there wasn't an immediate indication of understanding what it meant, Chizuru looked/seemed lost for a while, then....

"Well..."

When she understood what Yamazaki wanted to say, her face was flushed. . “Oh, no! I don't mean to force you! Because it's an important time, and it's not too late to think about it before the clinic is developed.....!”

As he explained  in a panic, Chizuru spoke up.

".......I will think about it."

Her ears were red. After that, she stood up and left the study.

Only Yamazaki was left in the room.

(She said 【will consider】 does that mean....)

She is willing? Or does that mean she doesn't agree?

After that, no matter how he asked again, he did not get a clear response causing Yamazaki to spend countless nights in anguish. [:3 fufufu lol]

-fini- 

————

cyar all next month... still busy rn.... only 3 (harada, souji, heisuke) of these short stories are left from what I have been able to find... 

anyvey, i had to go and bawl my eyes out (not really, but i mean it figuratively, lol) since I finally got around to watching the Shitan Kazama-hen musical.... As a result of that, I’m now super motivated to work on my song transpositions from the original one.... as my motivation for doing arrangements was more than  dead once i lost my work since timing is seriously my bane when working on any music stuff... so hopefully i’ll be able to finish something within the next month.

再见!  

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Spider-Man: The Darkest Hours Thoughts

Many years ago I was contacted by someone who recommended this novel to me and others from a Mary Jane fan point of view. You can read the recommendation here.

Whilst I own the novel and started it at least twice for whatever reason I stopped reading it before the start of the first big action set piece. However since Dreamscape audio released the novel on audiobook I’ve finally been able to experience it for myself.

So how’d it fair? SPOILERS ahead

I don’t usually do this these days but because this story is relatively obscure I’m going to provide a synopsis. Or more accurately marvel.wiki is:

“Even though he is a chemistry teacher, Peter Parker has now been forced to be a substitute basketball coach over at Midtown High where he works. His ineptness soon negatively draws the attention of basketball star Samuel Larkin, who challenges Peter and refuses to cooperate with his own teammates. Going over the player's records, Peter soon discovers that Larkin has not taken all of the required vaccines needed to play at the school, which will mean his automatic expulsion from the team for the remainder of the season, as well as dwindle his chances of getting a scholarship to a good university.

After a long day of coaching, Peter returns home and discovers that Mary Jane has won a part as Lady Macbeth in Shakespeare's Macbeth. However, the play is held in Atlantic City, so in order to compensate for the long drive, MJ bought a car despite not having a driver's license, let alone any idea how to drive. They began discussing whether or not Peter should teach her. In the middle of the talk, however, the Rhino attacks Times Square, so Peter leaves to go fight him as Spider-Man.

While on the way there, Spider-Man runs into Black Cat, who claims the rampage is a trap and that Peter should not go. He ignores her warning, though, and continues to head there. Peter easily defeats Rhino, knocking him unconscious in the process. Just as he does, however, the siblings of Morlun - Thanis, Malos, and Mortia - appear. They blame Spider-Man for their brother's death despite the Other being the true person who ripped his throat out, and now want revenge by killing him. Spidey initially flees, but with the help of a SWAT team and Black Cat he eventually takes them on (he also seeks help from Doctor Strange but is declined, with Strange asserting that his interference would harm the cosmic balance). Mary Jane comes to the fight scene and becomes jealous that Felicia is able to help Peter fight the siblings, as well as how the siblings are treating her husband. Enraged, she takes her car and runs Morlun's siblings over, distracting them and giving Spider-Man the time needed to banish them to a barren netherworld using three trinkets Strange had secretly arranged to be given to him.”

Let me get some admissions out of the way.

a)      I’ve not read a ton of Spider-Man/comic book based novels, although I own the majority of the Spider-Man ones that Wikipedia claim exist. I dunno why, I just never manage to get around to them for whatever reason. Perhaps it’s because comic book superheroes being designed for a visual medium which so often emphasises action makes the jump to prose (or in this case audio) difficult. Indeed I must admit when reading/listening I do zone out a bit when action scenes occur.

b)      I’m not familiar with the work of Jim Butcher although I hear great things

c)       I’d actually forgotten the specifics of the recommendation for this book. I just remember it was recommended and it was because it should feed the MJ fan/shipper in me and others. Forgetting this was lucky actually as it allowed me to enjoy some aspects of the books I’d otherwise have not been surprised by.

Let’s also get the technical aspects out of the way since this is an audio book I am discussing.

The narrator, Jack Meloche is...okay...mostly.

I find his performance of Peter a little too nasaly and early on in the audiobook you do have to kind of power through his performances of Mary Jane and especially Felicia. By the end of the story I grew to tolerate them but never love them. Hearing a grown ass man do his best to convey a sultry kinda sorta femme fatale can be a bit cringe inducing I must admit. His best performance is as the Rhino though.

Other things you should know is that this novel is loosely in continuity with ‘Spider-Man: Drowned in Thunder’ (which I talked about here),

https://hellzyeahwebwieldingreviews.tumblr.com/post/140091613524/spider-man-drowned-in-thunder-my-thoughts

another novel from the same range of books. It was published and is set after the events of this novel and both are set chronologically during the J. Michael Straczynski ASM run prior to Spider-Man joining the New Avengers.

I’ll be upfront with you I found ‘Drowned in Thunder’ to be better for the most part and downright ingenious. It did not however use Mary Jane as much or as critically as this story. She was important but didn’t have as big of a role as she does here. Does that make one novel better or worse than the other? Neither, they’re just different. It’s healthy to mix up the emphasis certain supporting characters get after all.

Looking at ‘Darkest Hours’ on it’s own merits for the most part it nails the characters in terms of the sentiments but my personal problems with it are in the presentation at times. Not even all the time just some of the time.

Let me put it more clearly.

There is exactly one scene featuring Aunt May, specifically a phone conversation. And this phone conversation progresses into a very involved inspirational speech from May to Peter about how awesome he is as a person/hero and the scene’s drama stems from the fact that Peter might be fighting his last battle soon after this. Are the sentiments Aunt May expressing in character? Of course. Are these things she would say? Yes!...but...I felt it was kind of...off that her one scene in the whole story is her showing up and giving the most involved inspirational speech Spider-Man has ever gotten from her or anyone else. Spider-Man 2’s backyard scene was tame by comparison. I just feel it would’ve been better for May to have both featured in some way prior to that scene and for the speech to have been dialled back a bit.

Much more relevantly though is the book’s handling of Peter and MJ’s relationship.

Throughout the novels there are scenes of Peter and Mary Jane being very much in love. The most common way this is expressed is via Peter complimenting Mary Jane in his head.

Would Peter feel this way about Mary Jane. 100% yes! But...I don’t know if it was the vocal performance, the fact that we have this back in the comics now, or really JUST me but personally I kinda...cringed a bit.

I’m not saying it’s bad!

I’m not even saying it could be better!

I’m sure there are many readers who adore this.

I’m not well versed in romance fiction so maybe I’m missing something here and actually it’s perfectly acceptable or great writing.

I’m saying just for me personally again...I’d have wanted it dialled back. It just got a little much, a little cringey for me personally.

But you know that happened sometimes in the JMS run which I loved and agree with everyone else wrote the marriage better than it has ever been written.

Speaking of Straczynski we really need to talk about his Spider-Man work.

Commonly original Spider-Man novels (i.e. not novelizations) that are trying to vaguely present themselves as being canon (so we aren’t talking about stuff like ‘Hostile Takeover’ set in the Marvel Gamerverse) try to have synergy with the status quo of the day or a very recent one.

This novel is no exception. My research tells me it was published in 2006 and whilst it’s not reflective of the then status quo of the comics where Spider-Man was unmasked and a member of the Avengers, it is reflective of the dominant status quo immediately preceding that which ended circa 2004-2005.

To refresh your memory that involves Peter being a teacher at Midtown High, Mary Jane being an aspiring stage actress who recently reconciled with Peter, and both Aunt May and Black Cat knowing his secret. To drive the point home about just when this novel is set there is an entire dialogue exchange discussing the idea of him hypothetically  joining the Avengers. A discussion that in my eyes throws some wonderful shade at the idea.

This is the same status quo that ‘Drowned in Thunder’ was set during but ‘Darkest Hours’ hardcore embraces  this status quo in a way ‘Drowned in Thunder’ never did. ‘Drowned in Thunder’ if anything drew more from the Paul Jenkins PPSM run than JMS’ run and exempting Aunt May being in on the secret felt like with a few changes it could’ve exorcised every other element of his run. Peter’s teaching job was a factor in the story but it was used as a brilliant and organic segue way into a Bugle/Jonah centric investigation.

‘Darkest Hours’ though...doesn’t do that.

Rather it is practically a lost arc from JMS’ run. No, not his ‘era’ wherein we’re talking about every title during his time in charge. I mean that if this was a comic book story it could’ve been straight up slotted in directly before or after ‘Sins Past’ and no one would’ve batted an eye.

The way the story tries to handle Peter’s marriage to Mary Jane, Peter’s teaching job, the inclusion of Doctor Strange and Dex, the potted history of Ezekiel, the direct references to Shathra and friggin ASM #500, and of course Morlun’s siblings. This FEELS like the JMS run!

And for a lot of people that’s going to be a huge deal breaker for this novel.

In my experience of Spider-Man fandom whilst there is a lot of appreciation of JMS’ run it was divisive for various reasons. A lot of people just for whatever reason turned off by Peter being a teacher (or more accurately not being a photographer for the Bugle) and recoil even more over the presence of mystical elements like Morlun or Doctor Strange.

Now if you liked or tolerated that stuff then this novel is a hidden gem of sorts, whether you want a shot of nostalgia or just found that stuff compelling.

Me personally, I liked the first half of the JMS run for the most part. And Jesus Christ looking back at it after what we got after he left it’s a Hell of a lot better.

Say what you want about Ezekiel and Peter being a teacher but I’d take that stuff over fucking Superior Spider-Man and Parker Industries!

Of course the elephant in the room regarding this novel in the modern day is that it predates Spider-Verse and Spider-Geddon as stories establishing Morlun had a family.

And...did...it...BETTER!

In Spider-Verse/Geddon Morlun was the main character and his family had unbearably simplistic personalities that boiled down to being variant action figures of him!

Now don’t get it twisted. Mortia and her brothers are a million miles away from the greatest villains in Spider-Man history. In fact they have LESS personality than Morlun did.

And yet in context this actually works for the story more effectively than in Spider-Verse/Geddon.

Morlun as originally presented was essentially a very eloquent predator and a hunter, not quit a full on force of nature but close to it. He was intimidating because he really didn’t do anything besides hunt Spider-Man and want to eat him.

Where Spider-Verse/Geddon failed was in reintroducing Morlun and then immediately watering him down by having him appear alongside his variant action figure family with moments and even back up stories told specifically from their POVs. Sure JMS gave us moments focussing on Morlun’s character outside of Spider-Man or Morlun, but they existed to introduce  the character and briefly build him up before we realize just how utterly outclassed Spider-Man is against him. When we already know who the Hell Morlun is we don’t need scenes focussing upon him because he isn’t a character who can support that level of attention. Nor should he be because he’s SUPPOSED to be a one not hunting and killing machine basically.

That’s why this novel makes better use of ‘the Ancients’ than S-V/G made of ‘the Inheritors’. We don’t have scenes from their POV thus they can basically be what Morlun was when Spider-Man first met him. Ruthless predators on the hunt, except now there are three of them so Spider-Man is truly screwed!

The plot cleverly focuses instead on the characters who have to DEAL with the impending threat the Ancients pose rather than trying to pretend these guys have actual characters. Butcher also makes them much scarier than the Inheritors because rather than monsters who basically just port in wherever and kill indiscriminately, the Ancients have riches and resources. They are a part of society and Peter is racing against the clock hoping those resources don’t zero in on who he is and where his family lives. This dread, this tension is delectable and far more effective than what Slott of Gage ever did. It helps that we actually see Peter reacting believably to the pressure and stress of his potential demise rather than be a generic and passive as he was in Spider-Verse.

Also the fact they appear alone rather than alongside Morlun is better too as it means Morlun doesn’t look less unique and they look less like variant action figures.

Additionally Butcher does a great job fleshing out the backstory to the Ancients, helping to integrate them well into the established Marvel Universe, developing their abilities and how they worked. Hell he even remembered how they were supposed to work as JMS defined them rather than how Spider-Verse and Spider-Geddon just ignored these abilities and did whatever they wanted. For instance Butcher establishes clearly the Ancients CAN feed off of life forms other than Spider-Man as opposed to S-V/G just having them do that with no explanation and feed off of just anyone. Butcher also remembered Morlun saying that eating Peter would sustain him for a looooooong time and incorporated it into the plot. Similarly he provided a clear explanation for why Spider-Man couldn’t simply use the same trick he used against Morlun again (because he’s outnumbered!) or get help from other heroes like Doctor Strange. Speaking of which we got one of the best ever explanations for how magic works in the Marvel Universe ever. Wasn’t expecting that nor for Wong to be so delightful!

The only real misstep Butcher makes as far as the Ancients are concerned is the idea of the Rhino being a potential snack for them when he never got his powers from a real rhino or anything like that. He was even referenced as one of the pretenders to totem powers by Ezekiel. I guess you could that the Lizard (who was also referenced) should  count so...whatever the rules aren’t clear here.

Let’s leave our main villains behind and talk instead about our more grey characters.

So yeah...Jim Butcher wrote one of the all time great Rhino stories here!

Again wasn’t expecting that!

The Rhino in Aunt May’s home breaking bread with Spider-Man is so insane an image that you’d love it for the absurdity alone, but Butcher makes it totally organic. He also keeps Rhino in character (with the exception of a time he refused to kill Spider-Man which I don’t remember being a real story) and fleshes him out rather wonderfully. He draws some great parallels between Rhino and Spider-Man and frankly the scene where Mary Jane is literally shaking with laughter over these comparisons is unquestionably the highlight of the whole novel!

What was really great was that Butcher didn’t change the Rhino or compromise him. He’s still a mercenary, he’s still not really a good guy, but he’s more human. He doesn’t like Spider-Man, he wants to beat him, but he also on a certain level respects him.

It’s just expertly done!

Then there is Felicia. Had Spencer not already fixed Felicia this story would’ve ignited fury within me. Not because this was bad but rather that this story used Felicia so wonderfully that BND and Slott’s ruination of her would’ve stung all the more.

Felicia is purrrrrrrfect here!

Not quite good, not quite bad, sultry, catty, territorial, smart, aggressive, dangerous, loyal. Butcher NAILED her character!

The fact he uses her to open up a philosophical debate about the differences and moral justifications between Peter, herself and the Rhino is inspired. There are differences but the lines aren’t as clear cut as Peter treats them as. In a sense he really does have a bit of a double standard in regards to her and everyone else. This isn’t the only time Butcher brings out Peter’s flaws very well. The scene where Peter has momentary lapses into light machismo are well done. Spider-Man is a hero but he ain’t perfect that’s why we love him!

This brings us to Felicia and Mary Jane. Sorry...I love it. Maybe it’s problematic, maybe it’s problematic that I do love it...but I just do.

Okay from a strict continuity point of view Butcher puts MJ and Felicia at greater odds than they really should be. By this point in time there were tensions but there was also friendship. Truth be told Butcher puts that friendliness in there but only at the very end of MJ and Felicia’s arc together and the resolution to the tensions are off-page. And yet...what can I say the pure soap opera of it was fun for me on a very base level. Who says marriage is free of tension again?????

The peak of my enjoyment was when the pair were just unrestrained hurling insults at one another. Again, shallow I know, but it was just fun for me and I really loved Peter having to step up and be the grown up in that situation and coldly let everyone know where they all stand. MJ doesn’t get to talk to Felicia that way because she’s their friend. Felicia doesn’t get to talk to MJ that way because she’s his wife.

This brings us to Mary Jane herself. Apart from again the romance stuff for me personally going a bit too far she’s mostly done very well. She’s supportive, she has a subplot of her own dealing with a real life problem (learning to drive), she makes mistakes, she’s great at analysing Peter,  and helping figure things out via being a confidant. Oh and she totally saves the day at the end. No straight up she does. If not for MJ the day would’ve been lost and Spider-Man would’ve been dead.

It was such a baller as fuck scene I am slightly pissed off that it wasn’t realized as a comic. Her throwing shade at Doctor Strange was also priceless.

The final thing to mention is the subplot involving one of Peter’s students.

I am once again going to draw comparisons to both the JMS run and ‘Drowned in Thunder’ as they are apt here.

Okay basically strictly speaking the subplot regarding Peter helping one of his underprivileged kids retain a spot on the basketball team was a weak spot of the storytelling. Not because it was necessarily bad (though a 30something trying to write ‘inner city youths’ leaves something to be desired) but because it really didn’t tie into the main plot all that much.

In ‘Drowned in Thunder’ Peter’s teaching job was integrated seamlessly.

But in this you could tweak the novel and exorcise the whole subplot. It’s relevance really is mostly thematic (Peter and the kid both need to embrace team work to succeed) and to illustrate character traits of Peter Parker. He’s so responsible he would still make time to help out this poor student even whilst his life is potentially ticking away. Nor will he abandon this kid to save his own skin, even though the kid’s physical life might not be endangered at all if he did.

Now that all being said I LIKE the subplot’s inclusion. Not only because it does demonstrate Peter’s character and the lesson he needs to learn for this story, but because I view it as part and parcel of this book’s mission to be a lost JMS story.

Really the subplot could’ve been one of the handful of stories told during the JMS run concerning Peter helping out his impoverished students. If viewed as part and parcel of trying to capture the ‘flavour’ of the era the subplot succeeds.

Finally I must say I loved Peter’s words of defiance before his possible demise.

Over all I’d say this was a very strong story. Okay, as an over all package not quite as good as ‘Drowned in Thunder’ but still up there, with moments and aspects that are as good if not superior to the latter.

Highly recommended.

P.S. I can’t believe we got development and a great use out of Dex of all the obscure characters out there!

[sineala]

Iron Man: And Call My Killer... MODOK!

So if you're a Marvel Comics fan of any stripe, you're probably aware that Marvel has a longtime history of publishing what they call "prose novels" and what literally any other publisher would just call "novels." You know. Books with only words in them. As opposed to "graphic novels," which is I guess why Marvel needs to make the distinction.

You're probably also aware that a lot of these prose novels are, well... bad. Some of the current ones, the original ones with new stories, have been getting good reviews -- I've heard good things about the Black Widow and Squirrel Girl books -- but a lot of them are just things like "novelizations of Civil War" and those ones are not great. (The MCU Iron Man 1 novelization was pretty good, but I would say that that was one of the few exceptions, and that only because Peter David both can actually write and has also written comic books.)

But a few weeks ago @blossomsinthemist told me that there had been a line of paperback Marvel prose novels way way back in the late seventies, and I was immediately interested for two reasons. One, if it's not novelizing an existing story arc, it's less likely to be terrible. And two, I really like late-seventies Marvel comics. So if I get to read a brand-new (to me) late-seventies story, I'm going to be pretty excited.

(If you're looking for these for yourself, prices vary, because people seem to be really into just having them for collection value, but if you don't care about condition and are patient you can get them for $5 to $10 or so.)

Anyway. I'm starting here with the Iron Man one, And Call My Killer... MODOK! It's from 1979 and is by William Rotsler, who also appears to have written the Doctor Strange novel in this series, and according to Wikipedia, he won four Hugos for Best Fan Artist, though most of his prose work appears to have been SF novelizations, and, uh, he was involved in the making of over two dozen pornographic films? Thanks, Wikipedia!

Right. Okay. The actual book. We are talking about the actual book. So the plot, as you can guess from the title, involves a lot of AIM and MODOK -- and because this is vintage 1970s Iron Man, also a lot of Happy, Pepper and SHIELD. SHIELD here is a lot of Nick Fury and a lot -- hi, again, 1970s -- of Jasper Sitwell. (If you're only familiar with the MCU, 616 Jasper Sitwell is, like, the ultimate Boy Scout SHIELD agent, a giant nerdy stickler for protocol.) Basically, AIM is scheming to get the armor, and the basic plot itself is kind of fun in that respect -- Tony scheming right back, decoy fake plans, a fake auction of the armor, and of course Tony and Happy captured by AIM. There's the requisite fight with an armored villain, of course, and what feels like a very perfunctory showdown with MODOK. (It's not a long novel.)

But since we're in fandom, we're not reading these things for the actual plot content, and so I am happy to say that on a characterization level, if this is the Tony Stark characterization you like in this era of comics, this book is going to make you happy. Because he really is, just... peak, classic Tony Stark. This is established very early on, in what is actually my favorite section of the book. Tony addresses a roomful of students about ecology, and his plans for SI and for the future, and about how he's not actually in it for the money and he just wants to do the right thing and save the world and so on and so forth and he wants to hire some of these kids to help everyone and build space colonies and so on. Similarly, when we first see Tony at SI, there's a paragraph about how he knows his employees' names and values them as people and it's very much classic Tony characterization. I love it.

In terms of canon, I'm not quite sure if this is relying on any particular recent developments in canon. Pepper and Happy are still together, and there's a throwaway line, in the list of Things That Have Happened To Tony's Heart, about how he's had several surgeries and a new heart and at this point in his life he has to wear the chestplate some of the time but not all of the time. I think that whole "weak heart" era is the Michael O'Brien/second Guardsman stuff, but I'm not exactly sure; this is not an era of canon I'm 100% up on in order. That may be a little too early for this, as well. Sorry; I'm not the best at this part of this game.

There is, of course, some identity porn, since what would an Iron Man story be without some good identity porn? There's a section early on where Tony explains why he would never reveal his secret identity. (Literally, he wishes he could "come out of the closet," and, yes, they do put that phrase in quotation marks.) His rationale is that the media would never let him alone, and also there are "Iron Man groupies, publicity seekers, and other assorted crazies" who would make his life miserable.

The weird thing is, then he goes on a date with what seems to be an Iron Man groupie. Pepper sets him up on a date with a woman who is a bellydancer and auto mechanic trying to break into acting. (The even weirder thing is that she seems to be named after a woman the author has coauthored several novels with. I, uh... I hope she knew first?) Anyway, they go on a date and she starts asking him about what Iron Man is like. Now, in a book where the plot appears to be that the bad guys want Tony's armor, I would be a little suspicious of people who were curious about Iron Man. But apparently this woman is on the level and just really likes gossip about famous people, and then at the end of the book when Tony talks about maybe going on another date he seems excited to "give her an opportunity to know Tony Stark." Although, really, she seems to still think Iron Man is cooler, so I don't see this working out well.

(Also, in the course of the plot, he does end up unmasking in front of MODOK, and as cover he comes up with the excuse that he isn't the only Iron Man and that there are a group of them. Which, y'know, historically, isn't even untrue, for a certain view of Tony's behavior -- there have actually been multiple people in the suit before now. So I kind of like Tony's quick thinking there. Amusingly, as he's bluffing his way through this, one of the fake Iron Men he names is Captain America, which honestly I think would make a hell of a fanfiction plot.)

Another weird thing: since this is right before Demon in a Bottle, Tony still drinks. It's not even an issue. And obviously it's meant to show something about his affluent lifestyle (and how he considers alcohol a necessary part of that lifestyle) but it's interesting reading this in retrospect and thinking about all the character development that Tony is basically about to undergo but hasn't yet.

So, yeah, in terms of characterization, this is an interesting look at Tony Stark basically preserved in one of the more-well-regarded eras for him, so on that basis I think it's worth reading. Which is not to say that there aren't some downsides, and since this book is mainstream fiction from the 70s, I bet you can guess what the main one is: namely, there is a certain amount of casual sexism and racism. The first scene takes place on a college campus and there is a lot of, uh, dwelling on co-eds and their short skirts. There is also a retelling of Tony's origin story, and you probably already know that ToS #39 is racist as hell (especially if you have seen non-recolored versions in which Wong Chu is literally yellow in the art) but the prose retelling here manages to add in some racist epithets (many characters are referred to as "the Oriental") which is... disappointing. Neither of these things are really unexpected for a book from 1979. But, you know, there they are. Heads up.

It also makes some weird narrative choices. One is that it has a surprising number of extended flashbacks in which dialogue is taken directly from the comics. I understand that back in the day before trade paperbacks and Marvel Unlimited and back issues whenever you want them, you the Iron Man fan might not have been aware of a lot of Tony's history. So I get why you would want to spend some time going over the events of Tales of Suspense #39. And, okay, Happy is a pretty important character in the plot, so I get why you'd want a lot about their first meeting in Tales of Suspense #45. But then there's a whole flashback devoted to the whole body-horror extravaganza of how MODOK came to be, and that one... that one was just kind of weird, especially because Tony didn't even figure into it.

And that leads me to my final complaint about weird narrative choices, which is the author has chosen to write this book in 3rd person omniscient point of view. I mean, it's a valid POV choice, sure. But it's a little jarring coming from fandom, where we are all basically 3rd limited forever and ever (like, honestly, I'm not even sure I'd know how to write 3rd omni if I tried!), and it's even weirder to read Tony in the middle of one of his inspiring speeches while a female student is thinking about how sexy he is even if he is an "older man." Yeah.

Also, the narration calls him Tony when he's out of the suit and Iron Man when he's in the suit. Consistently. Even when he's thinking about himself. I am pretty sure fandom never does this, and it is weird as hell.

So, overall, I have to say that despite some reservations, I really enjoyed this, and if this is an era of Iron Man canon that you enjoy, you will probably like this if you can get your hands on it, because it's a lot like reading an Iron Man comic from 1979, and the plot shenanigans are amusing. I mean, it's not the best-written book ever, but it is a lot of fun, especially in terms of Tony's characterization.

[thegizka]

What’s In A Name?

New to the superhero business, the Shazam family has a lot to learn if they're going to make this vigilante stuff work. Step 1: Figure out secret identities and hero names.

Written for Writer's Month 2019 Day 6: Kids.

Note: I do not own these characters.

Read it on Ao3.

“Okay,” Freddy began, turning to face his siblings after checking the security of the bedroom door.  “If we want to do this superhero thing right, we have to establish some ground rules.  I hope you brought paper to take notes because there will be a quiz at the end of this.”

“Wait, seriously?”  Eugene’s eyes were panicked as he glanced up from his computer screen.

“Of course not.”  Billy rolled his eyes.

“Besides, if you did write anything down, we’d have to burn it afterwards so no supervillains could trace it back to our secret identities.”  Freddy smiled sarcastically.  He was really laying on the dry humor, a sure sign that he was nervous.  He was the closest thing to a superhero expert they had, even though he’d only been in direct contact with the superhero world for a few weeks.  It wasn’t like there was any pressure to keep his family safe or anything.

“That’s a good place to start,” Billy jumped in.  As the only other family member with marginally more exposure to superheroing, he was also partially responsible for the success of this meeting.  “Let’s talk secret identities.”

“The number one superheroing rule,” Freddy announced, “is never tell anyone your secret identity.”  He looked pointedly at Darla.

“But what if it’s someone who can help you, like a teacher or a police officer?” she asked innocently.  “Rosa says we’re not supposed to lie.”

“Leaving out your name isn’t lying,” Mary reassured her.

“But you can’t make friends unless you tell people your name.”

“Well you’ll have a superhero name.  You can use that.”

“Do I get to pick my own name?” she asked, an eager shine in her eyes.

Billy found everyone looking at him.

“Uh, I think so?”

“Great!  I’m going to be Princess Purple Sparkle Rainbow.”  Darla beamed.

“How can you be both purple and rainbow?” Eugene asked.

“Anything is possible through positive thinking and imagination.”

Someday they’d have to collect Darla Wisdom and sell it as a book.  They’d make a fortune.

“That name is too long.  No one will be able to remember it, not even you,” Freddy declared.  Mary shot him a warning look.

“I will,” their youngest sister declared confidently, “and all of my new friends will, too.”

“Pedro,” Billy said, eager to avoid the potential of an argument, or worse--Darla being sad.  “What’s your name going to be?”

The quietest member of the family just shrugged.

“The Jolly Green Giant,” Eugene suggested while he tapped away at his keyboard.

“That’s the veggie man.”  Freddy dismissed it with a nearly offended frown.

“The Shield?” Billy offered.

“I think that one’s already taken.”

“Wait,” Mary commanded, and instinctively they all followed the eldest’s lead.  “Should we work with a theme?  We are a team, after all.”

“The Justice League doesn’t have a theme,” Freddy pointed out, “or the Teen Titans, the Justice Society, the Doom Patrol, the-”

“Okay, okay,” Mary conceded even though half of those teams sounded made up to her.

“But those teams aren’t family,” Darla said softly.

“She’s right,” Pedro agreed in his quiet, honest manner.

They digested these truths in silence for a while.

“What about something Greek?” Mary suggested.  “Our powers come from Greek legend.”

“Mercury is technically Roman,” Eugene clarified.

“Solomon’s from the Bible, isn’t he?” Billy added.

“Besides,” Freddy continued, “a theme based on the source of our power could give supervillains a clue about how to defeat us.”

“Well how do other heroes come up with their names?” Mary asked.

“I don’t know.  My knowledge of superheroes starts after they’ve already come up with their costume and name.  And even if I had tried to figure out some of their secret identities like a total nerd, there’s no way for me to verify whether I’m right and ask them.  I mean, it’s not like I have a way in to superhero society, such as, I don’t know, a brother who knows Superman or something.”  He looked pointedly at Billy.

“Dude, just transform and introduce yourself next time you fly to Metropolis.”

“How can I introduce myself when I don’t have a superhero name?”

“Yeah, are we going to figure that out right now or not?” Eugene demanded.  “Because there’s a Twitch stream going live in twenty minutes that I don’t want to miss.”

“Well Billy already has a name,” Pedro observed.

“Right!”  Darla beamed.  “Because when he said ‘Say my name’ we said Shaz-”

“Shh!” everyone hissed.  Mary covered her sister’s mouth before she could finish the word.

“Not inside, remember?  We don’t want to blow the roof off.”

“Sorry,” she sighed.  “I got too excited.”

“It’s okay,” Mary reassured her.  “We just have to be careful.”

“It’s a bit dumb not being able to say your name,” Freddy mused.

“Hey, I didn’t choose to make it like that.”

“Yeah I know.  That’s why we should come up with an alternative name so we can actually communicate on the job and stuff.  Ooh, wait a second!” Freddy cried, face lighting up with that look he always got when he discovered a new and interesting fact.  “I think I have an idea…”

-----

That night they tried out the new nicknames.  While Rosa and Viktor were enjoying a rare night out, they hit the streets to stop what crime they could.  Of course, whenever it was easy to sneak away and do superhero stuff, there was never anything notable to do.  They helped stop a car chase after the first few blocks, cleaned up a park, and adjusted one family’s TV antenna so they could watch Phillies games in perfect clarity.

“We’d better head back soon,” Maelstrom suggested, trying to check the time on the watch she habitually wore, but it had disappeared when she’d transformed.

“Can we get ice cream on the way back?” Lightning asked with hope in her eyes.

“Not if we didn’t bring money with us.”

“We don’t need money.”  Vortex shrugged.  “Bil- Uh, Storm and I discovered during his early days that when you ask nicely, people are willing to give superheroes all sorts of things for free.”

“That sounds like stealing.”  Tornado frowned.

“It’s not if they willingly give it to you,” Storm argued.

“If I asked Tech Stop for a new PS4, do you think they’d give one to me?” Thunder wondered.

“We are not using our new roles to ask for free stuff!” Maelstrom said firmly.  “Our main purpose is to protect and help people, not abuse their trust in us.  Besides, how would you explain a new PS4 to Rosa and Viktor?”

“Sh, no secret identity clues!” Vortex hissed.  Maelstrom just rolled her eyes.

“So we’re not stopping for ice cream?”  Lightning’s expression was dangerously close to a pout.

“I’ll buy you ice cream,” Storm promised.  “I brought some allowance along just in case we’d need it.”

“Thank you big brother!”  She zoomed over to him and gave him a big hug.

“Lightning, we agreed to use hero names only,” Vortex sighed.  “We can’t give hints of our secret identities!”

“You sound paranoid,” Thunder warned.

“It’s the number one rule!”

“I can’t remember everyone’s names yet,” Lightning admitted.

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you memorize them,” Maelstrom promised.

“If we want to grab ice cream, we should go now,” Tornado quietly reminded them.

“We’d better hurry!” Lightning cried, ready to save time by flying there directly.

“Hang on, I have to get my money out.  SHAZAM!”

In a flash of lightning, Billy replaced Shazam Storm.  He dug into his pants pockets, eventually passing a wad of crumpled bills to Maelstrom.  With another shout and another flash, he was once again a superhero.

“Okay, let’s go.”

“Maybe I’ll get butterscotch, or chocolate chip, or birthday cake!  There are so many yummy flavors, I don’t know how I’ll decide!”

Lightning continued chattering on the way to the ice cream shop.  The late-night workers looked a bit shell-shocked when six large and brightly dressed heroes stepped into the shop talking and teasing each other like children.  Maelstrom tried to keep them on task, but Lightning kept changing her order, Vortex was shooting irrelevant questions at the overwhelmed workers, and Storm was nervously calculating whether they’d have enough to pay.  Twenty minutes (and a few photos) later, they poured back out onto the street, sweet treats in hand.

“Home?” Tornado suggested.

“Race you!” Thunder dared, already taking off.  The others released surprised shouts and followed.  Lightning, normally the fastest of them, trailed a step behind.

“Hang on!” she cried around her spoon.  “I don’t want to drop my ice cream!”

x

I tried finding comics-based names for the Shazam family, but only Billy, Mary, and Freddy have been around long enough to have options. Wikipedia mentioned Shazam Thunder, Shazam Lighning and Shazam Strong for Eugene, Darla, and Pedro respectively, though I'm not sure where those came from. I liked Shazam Thunder and Shazam Lightning, and since their symbol is the giant light-up lightning bolt on their chests, I decided to go with storm-based hero names for the squad.