#a lot of people have asked if kakashi is suspicious and the answer is

[mixelation]

i’m rereading homemade dynamite and i was thinking ... between the hellpit and deidara blowing up two out of three fields that they go into kakashi's probably made the connection that it was deidara who blew up the ROOT tunnels ... i was wondering whether kakashi asked the sandaime or anyone else about deidara's suspicious origins though?? like even at the beginning fresh in the hospital post-team test?

tbh i originally meant to have kakashi as just a cameo, so i haven't completely decided how much he actually knows/suspects yet. kakashi DEFINITELY knows there's something deeply fucked up about deidara's origins, but i don't think he's actually done much prying. a lot of ninja have fucked up origins, even within konoha, and i think actively trying to look into those origins generally lands you in trouble with someone. :P he MIGHT if he thought deidara were an active threat to konoha, but so far deidara is just his adorable phenomenally destructive student that his cute kouhai weasel may or may not have the world's most maladaptive crush on !

[sneezemonster15]

@narutouzumakiarchive - "I came across this interesting thread of a translated interview from Kishimoto.

He talks about the contradictory nature of Sasuke's actions and words in VOTE 1. How Sasuke tried to rationalize not killing Naruto because he didn't want to follow Itachi's rules, despite the fact that he followed the exact path that Itachi set for him and never strayed from it unless it involved Naruto (ie. giving Naruto a bento at the expense of his ninja career and rationalizing it by saying Naruto being hungry would slow him down, fighting Orochimaru in the FoD despite being afraid afraid of dying before killing Itachi, etc.)

He then brings up Naruto's feelings about Sasuke and states that "It’s not romantic love, but.... friendship, familial love, intimate feelings that point to a broader/high level concept."

I've seen antis use this to claim Sasuke's love for Naruto is unrequited, and while Sasuke loves Naruto romantically, Naruto doesn't. What do you make of this?

I feel like Naruto throughout the story was going through the motions to throughout the story and trying to identify what his complicated feelings for Sasuke were since he never had a frame of reference for what a familial/brotherly bond were. And this coupled with the fact that Naruto was going through puberty and still didn't find Sakura attractive whilst getting angry at the implication that Sai was as attractive as Sasuke, spending more time on his sexy jutsu than he did on the rasengan even though he he'd had no female opponents to datewas unnecessarily uncomfortable with Sai/Yamato in the bath house and Kakashi saying he liked him, having his feelings for Sasuke  paralleled with Sakura/Hinata, having other characters point out how unbecoming and unnatural said feelings were, and much more all point to the fact that he is closeted.

Sneezemonster15-

Reply - I think it's this one, that I could find. Link . Honestly, I don't think it's written by Kishi. First of all, Kishi doesn't have the time to write stuff like this when Shippuden has been over and done for years and it doesn't say explicitly in the content that it's him, just that it's official. Second of all, it seems like this is publication's doing, to give some sort of an explanation for how gay the story is, troubleshooting for what Kishi wrote, a gay love story in shounen. Thirdly, Kishi doesn't talk like that in his notes in the manga, he speaks in first person. The databooks are compiled by the editors, and no wonder, a lot of stuff in databooks is crap, I don't consider it canon, because it isn't. Think about it, why would Kishi write stuff in it that goes blatantly against what he wrote in the manga? Stuff like Sakura had a hard life growing up and all that, I don't remember the exact wording. But we know it's all wrong. And lastly, Kishi gets kinda frazzled when he is asked about Naruto and Sasuke's relationship. For instance, this interview of his:

Kishi is giving vague ass answers to interviewer's questions about the nature of their relationship. The interviewer is being so insistent but apparently Kishi finds it hard to put in words. More brothers than blood brothers, nice Kish, real smooth. Heh. Strange, for someone who has been writing these characters for such a long time, he certainly is struggling a lot to explain it.

He wouldn't talk about the nature of their relationship explicitly, for obvious reasons. So he is hedging, being careful about how much information he can relay without sounding suspicious. I wish he was as careful talking about Hinata and Sakura in his interviews, calling Sakura a bad word for 'addicted' and openly saying folks like Hinata for her big breasts. Such respect.

They both love each other. Naruto doesn't return Sasuke's love? Am I even supposed to take this claim seriously? People who say this shit, have they even seen the anime or read the manga?? The story is about them, Shippuden is about Naruto trying to reach Sasuke, to understand him, to get close to him, to make him trust him, to protect him when the rest of the world has given up, including Kakashi and Sakura, his comrades from team seven. What crap. Naruto is struggling with his own sexuality, that much is clear, there are several instances, I talk about them in my posts all the time. For absolutely no other person does Naruto show this extent of emotion. People in this fandom are like - unless you say it out loud in those exact words with the exact punctuation, we won't believe Naruto and Sasuke love each other. They must say I Love You. Or we won't believe it.

Well, they have huge wish fulfilment goggles on, why take them seriously? Kishi's genius is wasted on them.

[animeomegas]

(infertile alpha request) oh, sorry! Preferably Naruto, Death Note or Obey me

(Thank you so much for clarifying! I’ve done Naruto and Death Note 💓 Enjoy!)

Naruto – He is a bit sad when he hears the news. He definitely wanted to adopt at least one child, so he’s not sad about never having children, because he knows he still can easily, but he was kinda really looking forward to being pregnant. He wanted to know what it was like, all the things he’d seen other couples go through (ultrasounds, cravings, birth classes), and it’s a little startling to have that dream suddenly ripped away from him. He’s not comfortable with any other conception methods, so he adopts all his children. But, when he’s cuddled up with his three adopted children, he can’t believe he was ever upset about not having biological children, and the thought that having biological children would have stopped him adopting all of his current children makes him feel sick because he can’t imagine a life without all his precious pups. Where would they be if he didn’t adopt them? Naruto decides that it was better this way, in the end.

Sasuke canon – Sasuke is very conflicted, at first. He had been clinging onto this dream of reviving his clan since he was a child, but now the only person he could ever tolerate having sex with can’t give him that… He’s not getting a donor, no way. There are no orphans from his clan to adopt. He honestly doesn’t know what to do, there seems to be no good answer. In the end, I think he would decide to just never use birth control and see what happens. The chances may be extremely slim, but he’s not comfortable with any other conception method, so it’s this or nothing. It might actually be quite a good experience for Sasuke in the end, because he is finally forced to examine some of the goals he clung to as a child to keep himself from breaking down and see if they are something he ever actually wanted. He might think about what life would have been like with his own pup occasionally, but he’s never been as happy as he is with his alpha and that is more than good enough for him (but not good enough for the council who harass him about having as many children as possible, constantly.)

Sasuke non-massacre AU – He doesn’t think it’s a big deal tbh. He got himself sterilised while he was in his early twenties because he didn’t want to deal with the possibility of getting pregnant, and he had to fight his clan for it! So, he’s glad that you won’t have to do that same, but it’s easier for alphas anyway. If you’re in a relationship with him, then you obviously don’t want pups, so he doesn’t think much about it. He’s like “Oh, okay,” then ends the discussion.

Shikamaru – This might be a problem… His child will be the next clan leader and they have to be of his blood, as is clan tradition. He would probably have to go for a donor to get pregnant, probably some distant clan member he’s never met before, but he feels really weird about it. He doesn’t like it, but he bites his tongue for once and gets on with it. He keeps it a secret from most people. The other biological parent is a clan member, so he just lets people believe that Shikamaru’s Nara genes were super strong, and that’s why there’s none of his alpha in their pup. I don’t think he would ever tell his pup that they weren’t biologically the child of both of their parents, he doesn’t think it matters and he doesn’t want to cause drama or have to involve the other bio parent if his pup asks after them. It’s better left as a family secret.

Shino – His situation is similar to Shikamaru’s. His child will be the next clan leader and in order to have a kikaichu and be trained like his clanmates, they have to be biologically an Aburame. Shino is also not comfortable with other conception methods, but mainly because he’s terrified of his alpha rejecting the pup if they aren’t theirs or reacting badly if Shino is pregnant with someone else. Some alphas have a hard time with those instincts and can’t accept non-biological pups or get violent when their mate is carrying someone else’s offspring. Shino is pretty scared. He also is so humiliated during the invasive insemination procedure. In the end, he had nothing to worry about, as his alpha was the perfect parent to their pup, but for about a year, Shino is constantly stressed that everything is going to change suddenly, and his mate will snap and leave them or something. It’s a tough time for him.

Neji – He’s actually quite relieved. It makes him feel a lot less guilty for his own fertility problems. If you’re both sterile, he’s sad that you’re both lacking something you want, but it makes dealing with his own problems easier. There are many orphans in the clan, so you both adopt from that pool, and Neji couldn’t be happier and prouder of his children.

Kakashi – Thank fuck for that. He got sterilised when he was in ANBU, just in case he had any missions that involved seduction. Kakashi might make a joke about how you’re lucky that you got to avoid the hospital and still be sterile. He wishes lol. Anything that helps him remain childless is good in his book.

Iruka – He makes sure his mate isn’t upset, but Iruka himself is totally fine. He wouldn’t mind not having children at all, and if they both decided to have children, Iruka would want to adopt anyway. He thinks it makes so much more sense to adopt when there are so many pups who need loving homes. He does get a little sad if his mate is sad though, but only out of empathy, not because he himself is sad.

Itachi canon – It is very helpful for him. While Itachi has issues with his heat and his health, he doesn’t have many problems getting pregnant, he just can't carry to term. And birth control is hard as a missing nin, so he’s very glad that he doesn’t have to worry about it. (Miscarriages are not fun, and with a fertile mate he would certainly have suffered through a few). It’s better for him this way, his circumstances prevent him from having children anyway.

Itachi non-massacre AU – He’s devastated. He doesn’t blame his alpha at all, but he’s very upset. His clan will never let him adopt, if they're losing one of their best shinobi to stay at home and raise children, those children better be the new top shinobi, so they have to be his biological children. He using artificial insemination, and he uses the sperm of another Uchiha (one that he's not directly related to). The clan elders are overjoyed that Itachi's pups will be 100% Uchiha blood rather than mixed. But Itachi is very, very firm about making legal protections for his mate as their pups' parent. He doesn't want his clan to pull anything to try and exclude his alpha or claim that his mate doesn't have authority over their own child. He's very firm about those conditions.

Sai – Huh, well, he hadn’t given pups much thought tbh. He’s totally okay with not having children, he genuinely doesn’t care that much. He likes it just being his alpha and him, so why change it?

Gaara – He’s another one who is completely devastated when he hears the news, but he is very stoic about it on the outside because he wants to be a good support for his alpha who might be struggling. He really mourns being able to carry his alpha’s pups. He doesn’t want to adopt because he really wants to carry a pup and breastfeed and everything, but he’s also worried about his alpha feeling betrayed or excluded if he goes for a sperm donor. He’s desperate for his own children, two at least, so he wants to use a sperm donor.

...

L – He nods and files it away in his brain with all the other information about his beloved, but he doesn’t file it as important. You have already agreed to not have children, so it doesn’t matter either way.

Light – Hmm, this is a problem for his plan. He needs someone to take over the perfect world he’s creating, and he was planning on it being the biological child of him and his mate. Well, it needs to be his child, but it doesn’t matter too much if it’s also his alpha’s biological child. Light isn’t comfortable with artificial insemination, but he’s down for seducing one of his fangirls/fanboys and using them. He wouldn’t tell them that the pup is theirs though because he doesn’t want to be tied down to someone he can’t stand. If they got too suspicious that his pup was theirs, they might find themselves the victims of a mysterious death.

Matsuda – He’s distraught for you and himself. He’s a very traditional person who wants traditional things, a couple of kids, a nice house, a dog, that kind of thing. He would want to try every possible method to conceive naturally, but after two years going back and forth between various fertility clinics, it’s clear that he’s not going to get what he wants. Matsuda goes back and forth between various other methods but eventually decides to adopt an infant. He never really stops hoping that he’ll magically become pregnant, but that doesn’t mean he loves his child any less, because he absolutely dotes on them.

[pi-cat000]

BNHA: Kakashi dimension hops crossover (2)

Summary: Kakashi gets dumbed into the My Hero Academia universe through random plot devise.

Characters:  Kakashi Hatake

Fandoms: My Hero Academia and Naruto

WARNINGS: Mentions of violence/injury

... PREV / NEXT

...

Life in his hospital bed passes slowly while he waits for his chakra to replenish. Always a sluggish process for Kakashi. With nothing to do, nowhere to go and a significant lack of motivation to find either, there is a lot of time to think. Too much time. With what was shaping up to be the fourth great shinobi war, there was no time for reflection or resting. To suddenly have this much downtime thrust upon him is throwing him through a loop. And he doesn’t even have his periodic trips to the memorial as a distraction. If only Sakura could see him now, resting and recuperating like a good injured shinobi.

Doctor Wada, the ever-attentive physician, returns a few more times to ask more questions and offer more reassurances. He seems set on his theory that Kakashi’s yet to be properly identified quirk was the cause of his memory problems. Kakashi runs through a sweet of memory and vision tests. A baseline for later testing when his eye is healed he is told.

“The police have a few questions regarding your situation. With your permission, they would like to conduct an interview,” says Wada on Kakashi’s third day of being officially awake, “Of course, as your doctor, I have the final say in the matter so if you would rather wait just say the word.”

Kakashi gives another bland smile, “Ah, you are too kind.” Police…as in, an authority the dealt with civilian conflict? “I think I’ll answer their questions. Wouldn’t want to stall an investigation.”

He had been wondering when or if he would be investigated. How similar would it be to Kohoha’s internal police force?

“Humph. If you think you’re ready for it.”

He maintains his smile. It was as good an opportunity as any to continue gathering information with the bonus of breaking up the monotony of waiting in a hospital bed for his injuries to heal. Doctor Wada spends the rest of the check-up muttering about pushy police officers and how underappreciated his medical opinion was.

..

The two men that come to question him are wearing matching uniforms which are very telling of the sort of organisation they belong to. White and dark blue. Not made to camouflage or reinforce. Restrictive seaming around the arms, preventing any extreme movement. Their shoes are sturdy but inflexible with heavy soles. Manurable but not designed for any excessive combat. Not a uniform you would give a force intended to physically subdue threats. Whereas Konoha’s police force was comprised mainly of genin and chunin, these men were closer to civilians in pure physical ability. Ah, but he is beginning to suspect that this was the norm here. The people here were softer in a way that was hard to define. 

Kakashi watches them approach, seated upright in his bed, hands resting loose in his lap, aiming it create an impression harmlessness. One good thing to have come from agreeing to this interview was getting his own private hospital room. Now there was no one around to raise an alarm if something went wrong and he was forced to act.

“Good morning,” The older one of the two starts, politely dipping his head, “Kakashi was it?”

“Hmm,” he smiles, “Morning.” There is a pause like they are waiting for him to give his last name. He doesn’t.  

“Well,” The man clears his throat, “I am officer Takata Toyokazu, currently in charge of investigating the circumstances surrounding the assault on your person.” An ID card, very similar to Konoha’s own ID cards is presented, “This is my partner. We’re from Hosu’s Central Police and we have a few questions if you don’t mind answering them for us.”

“Ah,” Kakashi eyes the ID, lamenting the fact that his sharingan is covered under a swatch of bandages and thus inaccessible without obvious movement, “I am afraid my memory just isn’t all there. Apologies in advance if my responses are lacking.”

He lets a little humour leak into his tone. It was time to do a little prodding and gauged how this place's ‘police’ conducted their investigations.

“Yes. We were informed about your memory problems.” The two share an obvious glance and there is a definite note of scepticism there. “Nevertheless, any information would be appreciated.”

“Of course.”  He easily agrees, shrugging, projecting an air of casual nonchalance.

Takata blinks “Right,” and Kakashi can practically see his brain stalling, “Well, you were found on the corner of First and Eleventh street in Hosu’s Central Business District. Would you say this is accurate?”

Kakashi thinks for an exaggerated moment, “I do remember a lot of people. I think someone called for help?”

“You were picked up in an ambulance yes. Do you remember what happened before that?”

“Hmm, I was attacked…there were a lot of trees.” He nods like he has just delivered a useful bit of intel.

“Trees?” Is the deadpan response.

“You know…tall plants with leaves and a….”

“We know what trees are. So, you were in a place with a lot of trees before you were in Hosu’s business district.”

“Probably.”

“A park maybe? There are a few around Hosu. Do remember anything else. Distinctive landmarks?”

“Ah,” he waits for a beat, “No.”

Kakashi is the subject of a disbelieving squint. “No names. Streets. Nearby locations?”

“Nope. All gone.” He says cheerfully and Takata’s brow twitches into an irritated frown.

“You were admitted with multiple stab wounds. Do you remember how you got them?”

He shrugs, “A knife probably.”

“Well, do you remember anything about who was holding the knife?”

“OH!” The two men startle at this sudden exclamation, “It was a man.”

There are a few seconds of silence. “What did the man look like?”

“I don’t remember that bit.”

This time he gets a very obvious frown. Apparently, realising that the current line of questioning is getting them nowhere, the officer motions to his partner and is handed a large envelope. After some shuffling around, a paper file is produced and flipped upright in Kakashi’s direction. It is a photograph of kunai, shuriken, senbon, razor wire and assortment of other weaponry he carried around on his person. He had wondered what the hospital had done with his stuff.

“These are the weapons found on your person when you were admitted to hospital. All confiscated. It’s illegal to carry these sorts of thrown weapons and knives in Japan.”

He scans the photo with interest. The image has his weaponry all laid out in neat lines.

“Really?” He is not even faking his curiosity this time. No one carried around any weapons at all? That wasn’t just a trend limited to the hospital? 

“Yes.” Comes the short response, “what were you using them for.”

“Oh, I don’t remember,” he says gleefully, “How scary.” And gets another round of scowls. After doggedly refusing to give more than vague answers and misdirection, the two increasingly frustrated men prepare to leave.

“If you do remember anything, please call.” A small paper card displaying a string of numbers is presented to him. “You’ll have to come down to the station and give an official statement once the hospital clears you as well so don’t forget. We’ll  get in contact if any arrests are made regarding the perpetrator.”

Kakashi knows enough about investigations to recognise that one, the two standing next to his bed were searching for some specific information and had found Kakashi’s responses lacking, and two, they had no idea who Kakashi was and knew even less about how he might have gotten here.

In the end, they just leave. No threats. No mind games. No attempts to arrest or move him to a secure location for further questioning. Nothing. Kakashi follows after the pair, pausing behind his door to listen to the two talk just outside his room. Officer Takata is obviously angry going of his slightly uneven breathing.

“That was a waste of time,” he grumbles.

“Do you think he was lying?”

“Oh, that smiley bastard definitely knows something more than he is letting on. Tch. Memory problems my ass…”

The is a pause before the younger man asks, “still think it’s connected to that Hero Killer sighting from a few days ago?”

“If he is telling the truth then no. The stabbing lines up with the Hero Killer’s MO but the target is all wrong. There is no Kakaski with a ‘sharingan’ quirk listed on the Registry or as any Hero, Sidekick or Hero agency employee. If he did have a run-in with the Hero Killer, it wasn’t targeted. Probably annoyed the guy into stabbing him if anything.”

There is the sound of footsteps as the two men begin to retreat down the hall.

“A dead-end then.”

“Yeah, looks like it.”

“What a shame. I thought for sure, what with the extent of the injuries, that this was a Hero Killer case. Perhaps it was another Villain? Or a vigilante maybe?”

“Who though? Hosu doesn’t have any active Vigilantes or big-name Villains. Not ones who go around stabbing people to that extent. You saw the hospital report. The man was seconds away from bleeding out and that head wound was obviously aimed at disabling his quirk.”

“Tch. Without any leads, we have nothing to go on. And if Kakashi is a Villain or criminal himself, there’s no evidence and nothing we can pin him with other than a fine for carrying banned weaponry.”

The voices grow fainter as the two walk further away from his room. They seemed suspicious but not overly concerned with Kakashi’s lies so it is not a huge surprise that nothing came of the interview. Despite their obvious irritation, their response had been ones of mild annoyance and moderate distrust. If either of them had had a kekkei genkai it hadn’t been used. Perhaps, their abilities weren’t suited to interrogation. Kakashi had been obtuse enough that surely, they would have been tempted if it were a possibility. It does conform to a general trend in which people underestimate his threat level, treating him  like a civilian. It was probably for the best.

Kakashi returns to his bed and stares at the paper card with the numbers. Obviously, they expected him to know what to do with it. Something to do with communication. Probably related to the small plastic devices nearly everyone in the building carried and spoke into on occasion. A radio of some sort. He had seen a few with numbers running across them. 

From the exchange, he has a few more points to consider and mull over. Villain. Hero. Vigilante. He knows these terms, has heard people in his ward mention them before and knows they are important in some way.

…

Having a new room meant he needed to relearn everyone’s schedules.  While doing so, he finally pinpoints why the people here feel so off. They lacked a level of…weariness…vigilance…that was both hard to describe and hard to notice until it wasn’t there anymore. Kakashi eyes the young nurse as she enters his room yawning, fixing her hair up as she walks, talking over her shoulder at someone behind her.

He had always thought the civilians of Kohoha lived free from most trouble. Not completely relaxed but still having a calm enough life. Well, calm when the village wasn’t being invaded. Now, he is revaluating that opinion.  When compared with these people, Kohoha civilians were stiff, suspicious, almost paranoid. Konoha’s people had hardiness to them, a useful trait when living in a Hidden-Village. They were especially wearily when it came to interacting with shinobi no matter how banally and harmless the shinobi acted. It was an attitude to be expected when there was a very real chance of deadly injury should the shinobi be unfriendly or unstable. A very real possibility with all the war and ever-present threat of enemy invasion and chakra monster attacks.  

Or maybe that was just his own experience as he never really interacted with many civilians and he his reputation wasn’t great.

“Hello Kakashi, how are you this evening,” The nurse greets him with a relaxed grin. He gives his bland smile and watches as she checks the various medical apparatus around Kakashi’s bed.

“I talked to the ward supervisor about your television. It should be working now.”

“Is it?”

Kakashi knows what a television is…they had a few of them in T&I, used for surveillance, and for a few more for monitoring remote training grounds like 44’s Forest of Death.

“Here is the remote. There are quite a lot of channels so now you’ll have something to keep you entertained.” He stares at the metallic rectangle object. He thinks that there might be a cultural difference between his understanding of a television and the nurse’s because watching an interrogation was never something he found particularly entertaining.

“Maybe it will help jog your memory as well.” The nurse gives him an encouraging smile before returning to her work.

Kakashi examines the object, bemused, “Ah, thank you Ms.”

“My name is Iori Ie I handle this ward on weekday evenings. I’ll be happy to answer any other questions if you have any. Anything to make this transition process easier.” She is sincere in her next assurance, “Just you wait, by the time your injuries are healed, we’ll have you right back up to speed.”

Television is…interesting and somewhat baffling. It’s not that Kakashi hasn’t seen examples of this sort of technology before now, it is just the availability and use he finds strange. Whereas a sensible village might hoard any new technology of its own use, here it is distributed and shared without limit. There was one of these things in every patent’s room! The same went for the information it communicated. Information so undervalued there was almost too much of it. Kakashi gives up trying to make sense of anything a few days into gaining access to the television and its hundreds of ‘channels,’ pumping out a constant stream of information. Some of it was obviously fictional, movies, entertainment, but most of the time it was hard to tell if what he was looking at was staged or if he was misreading a cultural difference. There were ‘channels’ devoted to daily status updates, delivering ‘news’ on everything from the weather, local politics, villain attacks, general crime and everything in between.

One thing he does confirm is that he is nowhere near any hidden villages or even on the continent, maybe not even in the correct world. This place was separate. This village or city as it was called, consisted of millions in a country of billions. There were more people in ‘Hosu’ than there were in the whole Fire Country. A logistics nightmare for sure. No wonder security was so lax around the hospital. Kakashi shakes his head and ends up switching off the television. Never would he have thought that having too much intel could be a bad thing.

“Ms Iori how would I go about getting something to read,” he asks the next day. She seems to be genuinely happy about his sudden sudden request. Kakashi hasn’t spoken or interacted much since waking, to busy trying to gauge whether the people surrounding him were threats.

He ends up with a pile of old manga volumes detailing the heroic adventures of some up and coming Hero protagonist and a stack of thin ‘magazines’ belonging to the nurse’s grown up son. The magazines are full of Hero analysis, speculation, and rumour like some sort of super detailed self-defeating bingo-book.  He just…doesn’t understand why anyone would let this sort of information circulate.

At least now he has a better idea about what a Hero and Villain was. A Hero was this word’s shinobi equivalent- if shinobi went out of their way to draw attention to themselves- acting more like a police force in that they managed threats to civilians instead of taking commissions and repelling external threats. Actually, they were nothing like Shinobi apart from their use of blood line abilities in combat. A Villain was like a missing-nin, hiding among the ridiculously large civilian population…sort of…

He needs to start working on a way home because he definitely doesn't understand this world.

...

NOTE: When Kakashi discovers the internet his brain will explode. 

PREV / NEXT

[phoenixyfriend]

More "de-aged Taka and T7 end up in the Warring Clans Era as Founders' wards" AU

“That’s a thing?” you ask. The answer is yes.

Uh. Kind of. Deaging Team Seven for the sake of tossing them back in time for a Founder to adopt is pretty common, but I’m trash for Taka so this AU started with me brainstorming the asshole team.

I am falling more and more in love with the idea of Tobirama ending up with custody of Team Taka somehow. He’s a science dad, but like. Marginally more ethical than Orochimaru.

Everyone around them is like "This is a terrible idea and it's all going to end horribly" and he's just like "Ah, these are now my children."

I've read so many "Team Seven time-travels and is de-aged, get adopted by the Founders" or "a Founder time-travels forward and adopts Naruto, subsequently picking up the others" and they're good but I now want the same plot with an even more dysfunctional collection of... eldritch mishaps? The AO3 feel of "I want this fic I just read, again, but a step to the left so it feels fresh and new"

I'm considering the tent of tranquility idea (courtesy of @sloaners​) and I've come to the decision that Tobirama's... probably going to end up with Several Holes in it, and burns, and cuts, because Karin and Suigetsu never stop fighting, and if they're fighting, they're not paying attention to how soon Juugo's going to lose his grip on control.

"Hm. Tobirama?" "Anija." "Where did you get children?" "They showed up." "One of them looks like an Uchiha." "He does." "Two of them are trying to kill each other." "That's normal." "Are the Uchiha going to accuse us of stealing a clan child?" "Probably." "...Tobirama, did you steal these children?" "No."

(It's not kidnapping if they show up and break into your house first.)

(Also none of them are particularly pressed to ditch the Senju and find their clans. Maybe eventually. Not now.)

They’re assholes but Karin is, even at Supposedly Age Three, babbling at Tobirama about proper lab protocol and chemical reactions and isn’t that just the most adorable thing?

Very few people find Karin as adorable as Tobirama does, because Karin knows more ways to kill a person than most adult shinobi, because most adult shinobi don’t know about things like flesh-eating diseases and specialty poisons from the other side of the continent that can only be refined via chemical processes that won’t exist for another three decades.

Juugo is a sweetheart. Best child. Then he loses his mind but it’s okay, Sasuke is there. Do the Senju trust the clearly-Uchiha child to control the much larger five-year-old? No. But they don’t have any better ideas right now, so.

Tobirama: Hm, we should do something about that. Karin: Here’s a list of ideas and things that have already been tried. Tobirama: Thank you, small child. Where did you get this? Karin: ... Tobirama: Fair enough, let’s see what we can do.

Suigetsu is a little terror because not only is he a Massive Jerk but he also has better control over water than most adults. Mostly because he is water. It’s very hard to find him when he’s avoiding chores.

Karin clings to Mito sometimes because Family! and then Hashirama tries to tease Tobirama about being upset that one of his students/children has ditched him. Hashirama ends up moping in a corner because Tobirama snaps at him, unsurprisingly.

IDK if we have like any canon for Touka beyond skill with genjutsu, but going off of the fanon that she used a naginata, I’m going to say that Suigetsu keeps trying to challenge her to Blade Fights and she’s just like Neat, A Tiny Murder Machine.

Sasuke is very quiet for the most part and Dramatically Broods On Rooftops And In Trees and Hashirama is just like YES YOU REMIND ME OF MY BROTHER AND ALSO MY BEST FRIEND and Sasuke hides.

Sasuke does not need another Naruto, thank you.

Sasuke ends up hanging out with Mito, I think? Like yeah, sure, she’s an Uzumaki, but she’s chill and refined and calm and she has really good tea in stock. Sure he has to learn fuuinjutsu to have an excuse to hang out with her, but that’s fine. It’s interesting. Karin does it too, sometimes.

tbh that probably leaves Hashirama to hang out with Juugo? Juugo isn’t great at Excite but he is great at nature so I feel like Hashirama would be stars-in-eyes about Juugo talking to birds the way Hashirama talks to trees, and Hashirama just gets him a chicken coop like HERE. FRIENDS.

But back to the suspected child theft.

Hashirama is like “That is... clearly an Uchiha. They are going to find out, Tobirama! Someone is going to figure out we have--” “Sasuke, show him your other eye. Yeah, the one you cover.” “...” “Okay, go back to playing.” “...Tobirama.” “Yeah?” “That was a Rinnegan.” “You know those rumors that the only way to get a Rinnegan is to mix the Uchiha and Senju bloodlines?” “It’s true?” “No idea, Sasuke won’t tell me anything about his parents other than their names, and he’s three, but even the chance of it being true means we have an arguable claim.” “...that’s not going to be enough to convince the Uchiha.” “The theory is but one weapon of many in the upcoming battle of wits.” “Tobirama--” “Now if you’ll excuse me, Anija, I need to go make sure Suigetsu doesn’t flood the training grounds again.”

tbh I can’t remember who made the original comment in canon about the Rinnegan being achieved via Senju/Uchiha babies but it’s funny to use here so I’ll pretend it’s a common rumor that nobody actually believes

MEANWHILE WITH THE UCHIHA Madara found and took custody of Team Seven and company, mostly because they’re like... jounin-level despite being less than three feet tall.

It involves a lot of Madara going "I want My New Children to love me!" and being sorely disappointed by half of them. Poor fucker got stuck with Naruto, Sakura, Sai, Kakashi, Yamato, and Obito.

(KakaYamaObito are deaged by the time-travel to 10-13ish. The kids are deaged to 3-4. Everyone has memories to just after the fourth war or so.)

Karin sensed T7 and tagalong pretty much the second they popped out of Kamui, and told Sasuke, but he correctly guessed that Naruto would hunt him down eventually, and said they should enjoy the peace and quiet while they had it.

Sai pulls emotionless creepy smiles in an attempt to freak out Madara but since Madara's whole thing initially was "less children in war," he's... mostly just sad. Izuna wants to know who made his brother cry.

Madara makes a vaguely misogynistic comment that's typical for the period and Sakura just. Breaks his tibia.

Naruto is genuinely trying to treat Madara with the kind of respect a caretaker that Attempts To Care And Do Good By Them deserves, because Naruto is a good egg, but he's... three again. Which means he's a Hellion.

The literal toddlers (Naruto and Sakura are three-ish, Sai is four-ish) are, in fact, toddlers, so nobody really expects them to be able to do anything. Nobody bothers to test them beyond the basics of like. Can walk? Can talk? Can maybe hold knife? Like don’t get me wrong, they’re very competent toddlers, but their hands can barely wrap around a kunai. Their bodies are tiny. Their bones only just stopped being soft!

That said, the “tweens” (re: adults who got deaged but Less) have to get tested for their skills. Kakashi downplays himself to what he imagines a semi-competent eleven-year-old to be capable of. He thinks of, like, Neji maybe? Good, but not suspiciously good.

Obito enters an intangible state and refuses to participate. He has a Mangekyo. His body is half-Zetsu. Stop bothering him. He doesn’t want to do anything. They assign him babysitting duty for Team Seven since he can obviously defend pretty well, and Kakashi vouches for his abilities as a fighter.

Yamato decides to try to be just a little worse than Kakashi but at one point he panics and does Mokuton on instinct and now the entire Uchiha compound is screeching because did they just steal a Main Family Senju kid by accident?

Yamato: Should I tell them I was a science experiment? Kakashi: No.

Pranks galore! None of the other time-travelers even try to stop Naruto, except maybe Yamato.

Obito at the Uchiha compound is mostly "I don't want to participate" and then just uses Kamui to be intangible until people leave him alone. If it's not another time-traveler or Madara, he's not interested. He doesn't even care that much about Sai or Yamato, actually, so if it's not an original T7 member, he doesn't care, and if it's Madara, he's just here to make things Difficult.

The Kyuubi wanders up to the Uchiha compound one day and everyone's preparing for a battle, even Madara isn't confident that he can-- [BANG] "KURAMA!" [delighted squealing]

Naruto now has a pet. The entire clan is terrified. Kurama pokes his nose at Naruto's stomach and disappears into the memory of a seal.

Madara, frantically writing a letter to Hashirama "What do I do if my toddler is possessed?!?"

Hashirama: You have a toddler?!?!?! OMG you should organize playdates with Tobirama's kids! Madara: I'M GOING TO QUESTION THAT LATER, PLEASE HELP WITH THE POSSESSION THING

Kurama hunts down Naruto, and the Jinchuuriki situation is very much in the realm of "Dis Mine" Also a bit of "If I'm in the brat, there's at least one Mangekyo user in hearing distance who can and will risk his life to prevent brainwashing. (Kakashi. It’s Kakashi.)

Naruto: Kurama's one of my best friends! Every time traveler: Yeah, that tracks. Madara: [teakettle screeching]

Per @firebirdeternal​: I'm just loving the visual of Giant Nightmare Terror Kurama kneeling down and pressing his nose to Naruto's Smol Chubby Toddler self and closing his eyes while Naruto pets him and giggles and every single battle-ready Uchiha is just. "wat"

Everybody else: Cool so Madara adopted a witch Uchiha Elders: We need to be careful of this horrible creature The younger generation of Uchiha: Okay that was weirdly serene and adorable and frankly the brat is really likeable when he's not being adhd as hell I think this is actually pretty dope.

Madara really wants to be a Good Dad but he has no idea how he ended up being "a dad" in the first place. He just! He cares a lot about this random assortment of kids! Some of them are from prominent clans and there should be search parties for the Senju kid with the Mokuton, or the Hatake brat, or the Uzumaki that doesn't look Uzumaki but definitely feels Uzumaki.... and SURE the only Uchiha of the bunch is a stranger who hates him for no reason Madara can come up with, but! He wants to be a good authority figure!

At least the Uzumaki appreciates that he's trying.

Seriously, though, there are clan kids and nobody’s looking for them, what’s up with that?

Kakashi still has a prize copy of Icha Icha and nobody in the Uchiha compound does a thorough check of his reading material until like three months in.

He is blamed for Naruto developing the Oiroke, because where ELSE would a toddler get such ideas? (Yamato and Obito both tell him he brought this on himself.)

Naruto waits until a Big Important Meeting lets out, something about tithes or a merchant contract, and just pulls a Harem no Jutsu in front of the entire group of Elders And Main Family. First he does a Mass Shadow Clone, which makes everyone turn on Sharingan because Fancy New Techniques to steal! Sure, they were late on the shadow clones, but the kid is clearly gearing up for something! The something is Oiroke.

Anime Nosebleeds everywhere. Most of the elders were hit. Izuna was hit. Madara is not bleeding from the nose, but he is very upset about having semi-accidentally sharingan-memorized his weird adoptee’s Sexy Older Female Alter Ego. There is yelling.

Naruto’s like “Oh, I missed some!” and decides to try again with Reverse Harem no Jutsu because there are old ladies among the Elders, and maybe some straight women representing a guild, and maybe some gay guys he missed! Madara is still not bleeding. (He’s very demi and tbh Naruto only would have succeeded if he’d tried to use Hashirama’s face. Naruto does not know this. He just figures Madara is ace like Sasuke and that no variant is going to work.)

Izuna gets another nosebleed and is just like “Well, this is not how I planned on coming out as bi, but--” “Izuna, I literally do not care about you being bi as long as one of us has an heir at some point, I’m more upset about the fact that my child has been corrupted!”

Back in the Senju compound, there is... a lot of screaming, honestly, but every time Karin and Suigetsu start trying to kill each other again, Tobirama just shrugs and tells them not to break anything.

Very easy-going caretaker, really. He's got some very deadly toddlers in hand, but they're still just toddlers.

Sasuke: Yeah, I might want to go see my clan at some point. Suigetsu: Yeah, I might want to go see my clan at some point. Karin, clinging to Mito: Yeah, I want to go see my clan at some point. Juugo: Please never, ever take me to my clan. Ever. Please. I'll stay with Sasuke, thank you.

Naruto breaks out of the Uchiha compound the first time he enters Sage Mode, several months in (it took a while to get the privacy) because he feels Sasuke and lbr if Naruto knows where Sasuke is, nothing will stop him.

The Uchiha clansmen cannot catch the errant toddler. They fail to inform Madara until Naruto is already in Senju territory because nobody wanted to admit the toddler outmaneuvered them.

Naruto wasn’t sure how to get into the Senju Compound safely so he just goes full Kyuubi, bounds over the wall screaming SASUKEEEEE at the top of his lungs, and then shrinks back down to Tiny Brat size so he could hug his Bestest Friend Ever and cling like a limpet while Sasuke just sighs and stares at the wall.

Sakura ran after him.

Sai painted a bird and Yamato dragged Kakashi onto it to chase Naruto, because Kakashi is at a point of zen regarding Naruto's bullshit and fully trusts the kid to not die.

Obito refuses to look up from whatever he's doing and asks people why they think he cares.

“We told you to look after the toddlers!” “Why would you do that? Seems like poor planning on your part.”

Disappears when nobody's looking. Waits until the Ruckus at the Senju compound (where T7 has crashed in to tackle-hug Sasuke and Madara followed in and proceeded to get shouty, and nobody's dead or battling because they're too confused and also it's a comedy) has started to calm down, and then teleports in and demonstrates Mokuton just to make Madara's life harder when the Senju Elders start demanding answers.

His energy is very "I am here to make Madara's life harder" and Madara still doesn't know what he did wrong.

Madara: That brat has a Sharingan! Tobirama: Well THAT one has Mokuton! Obito: Yamato has it too. [angry teakettle noises]

Madara's first response to seeing Sasuke is to turn to Izuna and point aggressively at the toddler while making a tea-kettle noise "He looks just like you!" "He's four, he barely looks like anything!"

Naruto, tugging at Madara's hakama: You need to make a village with Hashirama so I can see Sasuke more often, cuz I don't wanna ditch you guys, but I gotta see Sasuke! He's my best friend! Madara, who is aware that he could fight this child but really doesn't want to, and also knows that a tantrum thrown by Naruto or Sasuke is capable of leveling mountains: Right, yes, we'll get right on that.

tbh Madara wants the village anyway but "The bijuu-whisperer said he wants it to happen" is a great way to push things forward.

[gravityunforgiven]

Right Where You Left Me (Kakashi x OC)

Pairings: Kakashi x OC, Jiraiya x Tsunade

Synopsis:

She was the daughter of a Legendary Sannin, He, a son of a disgraced shinobi. Fate brought them together but life tore them apart. Will they be able to take control of their destinies and find their way back to each other?

...Or will they be another victim of the cruel shinobi world they are both a part of?

Feel free to reblog!

Chapter Five

When Tsunade stepped outside the casino, she was frozen in her steps. She knew almost instantly that Akira was close by. She could still feel the faint but lingering presence of her chakra.

Akira’s here. She’s here.

There was no way Tsunade could have possibly mistaken Akira’s chakra for someone else’s. She may not have have seen her for a decade but Tsunade could never forget the familiarity of Akira’s presence. She knew it like the back of her hand. 

Akira’s chakra has always been a little different than of a normal shinobi largely due to the fact that wasn’t like the rest of them either. The uniqueness of her chakra was hidden in plain sight and would have been very obvious if one knows what to look for. 

By each passing second, Tsunade could feel herself sobering up. The sudden realization that her daughter was in such a close vicinity caught her off guard. She was suddenly overwhelmed by the emotions she had been trying to ignore for the past ten years. 

She wanted to see her. 

She had been meaning meaning to see Akira so many times in the last years that she had lost count of them. She had even gone as far as to reach the outskirts of their village only to turn back around and run for the hills. Tsunade just couldn’t face Akira. She was scared of what awaits her once she returned home, afraid of what Akira would say after she left her so many years ago.

She was terrified to be a burden for her daughter. It was never her intention to leave as long as she did, she only wanted to grieve properly and move on from Dan and Nawaki’s death but for some reason, a decade later, she was still grieving.

Tsunade didn’t exactly know what she was doing but she somehow found herself roaming around the unfamiliar village for the last person keeping her alive.

Just a glimpse. Just a glimpse then I’ll be gone. Tsunade kept repeating the words to herself. She had continously kept tabs on Akira through Jiraiya but there was nothing like seeing her in the flesh. 

Tsunade was well aware of the fact that she had hurt her daughter and she knew that her sudden return would cause her only more pain. She just couldn’t do that again. She just wasn’t ready to put Akira through all of that all over again. 

Though Tsunade could easily discern Akira’s chakra from a specific distance, she was certain that it was not the case for her daughter. Though it was clear that Akira was blessed with a remarkable skill in chakra control like her mother, Akira was just too young to remember Tsunade’s chakra. She was just so young.

It wasn’t long until Tsunade found her sitting on the bar of a sushi shop. Tsuande’s breath was caught in her throat. For a moment, the world around her disappeared and all she could see was her daughter. She was sitting on her own, her back faced Tsunade but there was no doubt in Tsunade’s mind that it was Akira. 

She knew it was her.

Her hair that used to reach her waist as a child now fell just a little past over her shoulder in waves of light blonde, a familiar Konoha issued cloak hung neatly on the back of her chair but Akira’s gaze was worlds away. She spun a chopstick in between her fingers as she stared at practically nothing.

Tsunade realized Akira was here on a mission. Tsunade almost scoffed at herself for thinking otherwise. Of course, she’s here on a mission. What was I expecting?

She would never admit it even to herself but a part of her still hoped that her worst fears hasn’t become a reality. Throughout the years, Jiraiya had relentlessly assured Tsunade that there was no reason for her to believe that Akira loathed her. He had told her that Akira understood why her mother left but she knew deep down that Akira must have hated her for leaving. She hated herself for leaving.

 What she did was cruel and selfish. But it was better than dragging Akira down with her to a pit of endless grieving and what ifs.

She had her glimpse of Akira. She had with her own two eyes how Akira had grown into an astonishing young woman. Tsunade knew she should leave. It was obvious that Akira was better off without her but she couldn’t bring herself to move. She knew she was being selfish yet again. Akira deserved so much better than her, she deserved a mother who can take care of her and not someone who needed taking care of.

Tsunade knew that the right thing to do was to keep her distance and she wasn’t sure if it was the  alcohol or just her but she found herself weaving hand signs and masking her appearance before closing the gap that separated her from her daughter. 

She had absolutely no idea what she was going to do when she sat on the stool next to Akira but the words came out of her mouth without her permission.

“You’re a long way from home.” Akira stopped mid-sip from her drink and looked at her right where the voice came from and found a woman clearly in her late 50s with graying hair and a smirk. 

For the second time that night,Tsunade’s breath was caught in her throat. When Akira’s eyes pierced into her own, for a split second, she saw Dan’s face instead. Even when Akira was young, people had told her how much they looked similar but seeing at her now, Tsunade thought how wrong all of them were. Akira had always been so much like Dan than she was of her. They just didn’t know him enough to see. 

Akira blinked a couple of times in confusion, unsure if she was the one being talked to by the unfamiliar woman. “I’m sorry?”

Instincts were suddenly taking over Akira’s entire body. She discreetly checked the shuriken holster on her left leg just in case the woman attacked.

“You’re Tsunade’s daughter.” She said as a matter of fact then casually orders a dish from the menu.

“Oh, no.” A defeated sigh escaped Akira’s lips. I know where this is going. She had encountered this conversation too many times than she wanted to remember. The resemblance between her and her mother kept giving away their relationship to the people Tsunade had a debt to.

“She owes you money doesn’t she?”

The woman chuckled, the lines on her face becoming more visible as she did so. “ She does actually.”

Akira shrugged nonchalantly, “I’m not paying for her.” Akira was definitely curious about the woman now. She seemed familiar, like they’ve met somewhere before though Akira was absolutely certain this was the first time she had ever seen the lady.

“Do I know you?” Akira’s eyes narrowed amd Tsunade’s heart skipped a beat.

“I used to know when you were younger.” That wasn’t exactly a lie in Tsunade’s part. She did know Akira as a child. Not anymore. The person sitting right next to her was completely different from the child who bid her goodbye on the village gates. That child was oblivious, unaware, still free from the gravity of her duties. This girl, no, this woman she was seeing bled of confidence and grace in ever action. Tsunade could see from her face how she had embraced her responsibilities wholeheartedly despite its burden. She had grown into someone Tsunade could only dream of becoming.

“Really?” Akira’s right eyebrow arched this time, still suspicious. So, Tsunade, still enamoured by the presence of her daughter, continued her cover story. She told her stories, facts only someone from the village would know and things no one would have known if they didn’t see Akira grow up. And true enough, Akira was convinced of her identity.

For what seemed like only a few minutes for Tsunade but hours in reality, the two exchanged stories with each other. It was much easier this way. To Akira, she was just a retired shinobi traveling the world, not someone living a life full of regrets. She told her stories of her time as a shinobi, the adventures, the missions, something she never had the chance to do when Akira was younger as she did not fully understood yet what it takes to become a shinobi. Still, she was careful to keep her cover on and noticed that Akira never mentioned any names. But still, it didn’t took long for Akira to succumb into the familiarity of the elder lady.

She didn’t have a lot of women in her life growing up. She had her friends for sure but Rin was gone, Kurenai was just only a few years older than her and even Kushina was not much older either. They were like her older sisters and Biwako Sarutobi became her honorary grandmother. The fact that the two most important women in her life died at the same night didn’t help at all. She didn’t have anyone to buy clothes with or talk to when her budding romance with Kakashi at the time became all too confusing. She went through all of these alone. Of course, she had Jiraiya but despite being the writer the Make Out Series, there were things only a fellow woman can understand.

As the older lady continued to speak next to her, Akira wondered if this is what it felt like to have a mother. The shinobi in her told her to shut up, pack her things and leave the woman who literally showed up from nowhere. She reminded herself that genjutsu was not exactly her strong suit but the other part of her was a little too assured that this woman was harmless and she was technically part of her old life. She was just so kind and she listened and laughed with her.

 They talked about the village and how much it has changed over the last few years. Tsunade told her abour her travels and the places she had visited and it came to her knowledge that Akira had dreamt to travel sthe world as well. Not for missions, but for herself. When Tsunade asked asked what was stopping her, Akira’s answer was short but it was more than enough for her to see the dedication that she has for the village. Like her father. 

“I guess I want to protext my people more than anything.” She answered with a shrug and a smile. Tsunade knew she meant each word from the look in her eyes alone. Akira told her how protecting the village was what she wants to do the most not because she needs to,but because she wants to. There was nothing else she would rather be than be a protector of her home.

“So you want to become Hokage, then? Is that what you want too?” Do you have his dream too?

Akira’s laugh filled the air. “No.” she chuckled. “I don’t really like paperwork.” This made Tsunade laugh herself. She guess that Akira had seen the mountains of paperwork from the Third Hokage and it did not look appealing to her either.

“ I prefer protecting the village from the outside. Besides, I’m better off at field work anyway.”

“Captain?” Their converstaion was interrupted by two seemingly normal shinobis to the normal eye but their all too familiar black cloaks immediately gave away their identities to Tsunade.

ANBU.

Akira quickly excused herself from their conversation and headed out. Tsunade was well aware of the fact that Akira had joined the ANBU at an age younger than what everyone was accustomed to but she was never informed that Akira had become a team captain. Both she and Jiraiya had been against the idea of Akira being an ANBU knowing how dangerous the missions they were sent to are but there was really nothing anyone could do when Akira sets her mind to something. All they could do was to watch and pray that she would come home every time.

The three talked in hushed tones but Tsunade heard enough to perceive that whatever their mission is, it was not going as planned. 

There was a moment of silence between the three as Akira contemplated what their next move would be.

“Tell the others we’re moving out on the first light.” Her command was curt but spoken with absolute finality. 

When Akira returned to her seat, there was a noticeable change in her mood. “Mission’s not going well, huh?” Tsunade asked though the answer was more than obvious by the look in Akira’s face.

Akira let out a deep and frustrated sigh. “I don’t really like long-term missions.”

“Someone waiting for you back home?” Tsunade took her chances and asked. She wondered if Akira had had the chance to fall in love yet. She hoped that Akira hadn’t yet as she wanted to be there for her daughter when she starts dating but the deep flush of red quickly spreading across Akira’s cheeks told her otherwise.

Oh.

Akira contemplated for a second wether she would divulge that information to the still annamed woman but before she could tell herself to stop, s smile was already forming on her lips.

“There is, actually.”

Man, I really should shut-up now.

Tsunade could see a gleam in Akira’s eyes as she told her how much this man means to her. All her worries from her mission seemed to disappear with the mention of the man. She looked incredibly happy and for that, Tsunade was beyond grateful. 

If you ever find yourself in the Land of Fire, You should come by to the village. I think he would love to meet you.” Akira says as she gestured for the bill.

Tsunade would love to meet him as well knowing that she is forever indebted to this person for bringing joy into her daughter’s life. 

The two women reached for the bill at the same time, and for a split second, their skins touched. All Tsunade could think about was heat.

Akira’s skin was abnormally hot against her. The medic ninja in her was sure that Akira had a fever of at least a hundred at the bare minimum. 

“I got this. It’s the least I could do for my mother.” Akira says, pulling out a couple of bills from her wallet.

“You’re sick.” Tsunade placed a hand on Akira’s forehead and confirmed that she was warmer than usual. 

Akira looked at her in confusion before dismissing her with a laugh. “I’m always warm.” She grinned. “That’s just me.” 

Tsunade knew it must have been an effect of being the Okami’s reincarnation she had developed while growing up. It wasn’t like this when Akira was a child or she would have instantly noticed it. 

Questions as to what else Akira may have developed plague Tsunade’s mind but she never had the chance to ask Akira because she was once again caught off guard when Akira placed her own Konoha issued cloak around Tsunade’s shoulders.

“Here. Looks like you need it more than I do.” Akira adjusted the cloak on Tsunade’s shoulder and zipped it into place. 

“But it’s cold out-“

“I’m always warm remember?” Akira held the entrance curtains of the shop out of the way for Tsunade.

The two of them stood outside the shop where the moon was already shining bright and the streets were lit with street lights. 

“You know between the two of us, you have more chances in seeing my mother more than I do.” Akira started. She knew that it was incredibly inappropriate to ask a favor from someone she had just met and whom she refuses to grace with her name but she was desperate. She had to see her mother even for a moment.

Akira had made it a point to not talk about Tsunade whenever Jiraiya was around knowing ythat the man was also having a hard time dealing with his own feelings and juggling his time between fulfilling his destiny and fathering Akira as much as he possibly can.

This woman was her last chance in order to talk to her mother and sparing Jiraiya.

“So if you ever see her, can you do me a favor and tell her to come home?” Akira looked straight into the eyes of her mother and Tsunade saw right through her and into the sadness Akira was trying so hard to conceal.

“Tell her that I understand that she doesn’t owe anything to me but I need to know-“ Akira’s voice broke.

“Tell her I need to know if it was me.” Akira forced a smile in her face. “I deserve at least that.”

I need to know if she left because I was different. Because I wasn’t like the others.

“Okay?”

“Of course.” There was nothing else Tsunade could say before Akira gave her one last smile - a smile that would haunt Tsunade for the rest of her days- before disappearing into the night with the hopes of seeing the kind woman once again 

Tsunade was left on the street on her own ince again with only her thoughts to accompany her. Of all the possible scenarios that had ran through her head, never did she once imagine that Akira woulld blame herself for the decisions she made.

It was never Akira, It was always her who had the problem.

She had always been perfect to Tsunade’s eyes from the moment she was born. She was the one good thing that happened in Tsunade’s life. She was her miracle.

Tsunade promised herself that she would tell Akira that herself.

—————

Tsunade found herself standing outside the window of her daughter’s rented room, her eyes brimmed with tears as the gravity of what she had done all those years ago finally sinked in.  

Akira blamed herself for something she had nothing to do with.

Just a few feet away from her, her daughter laid fast asleep on the futon. She was curled into a tight ball, the duvet only covering her lower body and the pillow that her head was supposed to be resting on, lay discarded on the floor. 

Tsunade couldn’t help but smile. The familiarity of the scene she was witnessing felt right. It felt like home. She had done this thousands of times before, back when the woman in front of her was nothing but a baby that can fit right into her arms, then a young child whose abilities were one of a kind she posed a danger to her own, and now, a fine kunoichi who had already surpassed her predecessors in every aspect. 

Yet despite that, Tsunade can still see the child she loved more than anyone or anything in the world. She can still see Dan in her. Akira may indeed inherited her mother’s looks but there was so much of Dan that lives in her.

She knew deep inside what she had to do. She needed to stop this nonsense. Dan may have been gone but he left her the most precious gift anyone could ask for and she was so busy tending to her own grief that she didn’t see who needed her the most. 

Tsunade knew she needed to come home.

She needed to come home to Akira.

But she was a little too late.

Way too late.

—————

A/N: Thank you for all the support! I really appreciate them more than you can imagine.

[fanfictionismyescape]

The Poisoned Secret Part 3

Chapter 3: The village

Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto or it’s spin-off Boruto.

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Two weeks later in a village just on the outskirts of the eastern border of Fire country. 

Sasuke’s POV

“Well looks like we’ve finally made it Sasuke,” Kakashi says to me as we enter the small village. 

After Sakura and the Fifth Hokage discerned that it was a poisoned tip blade that killed her parents Naruto sent Kakashi and I to the village they were discovered in to see if we could find any clues. 

At first, I had no interest in going on a wild goose chase when Sakura and Sarada were still in mourning since any evidence would’ve been long gone by now but Sakura insisted I go. 

“Sasuke, just think about it. Please, I know the odds of there being something left behind after all this time is slim but there must be something. Talk to the people in the village and see if they saw anything suspicious. We need to know what they were after.” Sakura told me the night before we were to set out for the mission 

“Naruto can send someone else with Kakashi. I don’t see why my presence would matter.” I replied, getting a little frustrated by her insistence. Did she not want me here? 

“It matters to me Sasuke, these were my parents. This means a lot to me. Besides, you won’t be gone long and you’re the only one I trust with this.” she pleaded. 

Knowing I can rarely ever say no to her especially when she says she trusts me with this I just heave a heavy sigh and go to grab my traveling gear. I always have one ready in case I need to leave at a moment's notice so it doesn't take me long to get ready. 

“A week, two at most,” I tell her pointedly. 

When she realizes I’ve agreed her eyes shine for the first time in a while and at that moment I know I made the right decision. 

“Let’s just get this over with. We are already behind schedule.” I told him as I make my way for the run-down medical building. ‘This village has seen better days.’  Why were they here in the first place?

“Kakashi,” I call out to my partner.

“Hm?” He responds with a solemn expression as he takes in the village. 

“Sakura and Tsunade were able to create an antidote for the poison right?” I ask. I should’ve thought about this sooner but it didn't occur to me that we might find ourselves up against the killers themselves and I wasn’t planning on dying in a shithole like this. 

“Yea. Here.” He told me as he hands me a viral filled with a murky green liquid. “It has to be administered within 60 seconds of contact so keep it with you.”

I nodded as I took it and placed it in the lining of my cloak. 

“How well did you know Sakura’s parents?” I ask him as we walk into the clinic where the bodies were first brought.

“You’re asking me how well I knew your in-laws?” He asked me with an emphasis on your. 

I sighed.

“I never had much contact with either of them before or after I left the village when Sarada was young. They never cared to hide their dislike for me and I knew it caused Sakura some stress, so I just never bothered.” I told him. I can’t say I regret my decision because I knew it was for the best and it’s not like I would have had much to say to them anyways. They were cordial enough for the girl’s sake but that was about it. 

“Well, I honestly don't know much about them beyond what was common knowledge. Kizashi attended the academy but only achieved genin before he left to resume civilian life and that's about it. Up until Sakura was born neither of them really had a presence in the village.” He sighed. “That’s about all I know.”

I gave him a look.

“Listen Sasuke I might have been the Hokage but even then there was really nothing else to find. There was nothing special about the Harunos except for who their daughter was.”

“I’m sorry for eavesdropping but did you just say you knew the Harunos?” An elderly woman asked us as we approached what looked like the nurse’s station.

“Yes.” Kakashi answered with a confused expression. 

“Oh, so you must be the two shinobi from their village. We were told to expect someone when their bodies were picked up.” She said smiling as she held out her hands. 

“I’m Dr. Wakabi, I’m the one who performed the original autopsy,” she added.

“Oh well hello.” Kakashi greeted as he shook her hand with that masked smile of his. “My name is Kakashi. I am a close family friend of the late Harunos and this here is their son-in-law.” He added as he glanced over to me.

“Hello,” I said with a nod,

“I’m so sorry for your loss.” She said quietly. 

“If there is anything I can do to help please let me know.” She said as she turned back to her work. 

“Actually there is something you could do for us,” Kakashi told her as he tried to keep her attention.

“Hm?” She questioned as she looked up.

“We were wondering if you could lead us to the spot their bodies were found.” He asked.

“Uh… are you guys really expecting to find anything?” She asked a little perplexed. 

‘Odd’ I thought.

“Well we can’t afford to leave anything out,” Kakashi said chuckling. I knew he was put off by her hesitation.

“R-Right of course.” she stuttered.  “If you go down the road that leads out of the village and hang a right there is a clearing and that's where their bodies were found. It’s hard to miss.” She smiled.  

After getting the directions we gave her our thanks and promised to return if we needed any more assistance.

Third-person POV

“Are you sure they don’t suspect anything?” A voice called out in the darkened room. 

When the man received word that there were two shinobis from one of the hidden villages asking questions he grew increasingly worried that the deaths of those traitors would be traced back to him. It wouldn't do them any good if people found out who those two really were and came for retaliation. 

“No sir, they only wanted to know where their bodies were found that's all.” His second in command assured him.

“I want you to have them followed.” He told her. He couldn't let these two shinobis delve any deeper than he wanted regardless of who they were or where they came from. 

“Hai.” 

Sasuke’s POV

After surveying the area their bodies were found and coming up empty we decided to head back to the clinic to talk to the doctor we met with earlier. She seemed to be hiding something and I want to know what it was. Besides having the initial report might be the missing piece to finding out what happened.

“Hello again,” Kakashi said cheerfully as he approached the woman for a second time.

“Hello.” She greeted. Her tone a little wary.

“Did you find anything of use?” She asked.

“Nothing, unfortunately. We were actually wondering if you could provide us with the original M.E report.” 

“I-” she started but stopped as she looked behind her as if there was someone there. “I don't see why not.” 

“It would be a great help to our team back home,” Kakashi added. 

“Of course, let me just go grab it from my office.” the woman said as she left. 

“Kakashi.” I started.

“I know.” He replied. Ever since we left the hospital earlier on we felt as if we were being watched and after her reluctance to hand over the files and her dodgy behavior we couldn't help but assume the two instances were connected. 

Something is going on in this village and I’m not liking it. 

After a few minutes, the Doctor came back with a stack of papers. 

“H-Here.” She said as she handed them over to Kakashi. But before he could take them she pulled him closer and whispered something to him that I couldn’t quite hear. 

“Of course.” He nodded as he turned to me and handed me the file.

“We should go.” He said as he waved goodbye and lead the way out of the building.

“Something you care to share Kakashi?” I asked him.

“Nope,” Kakashi said as his eyes scanned the shadows of the buildings.  

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It’s been a few hours since we left the dilapidated village behind and so far so good but we haven't let our guard down since we realized we were being followed. 

“What do you make of this?” Kakashi asked me once we were sitting down by our makeshift shelter. 

“There is something off about all this. First the doctor’s suspicious behavior and then the hired shadows.” I told him as I poked the fire.

“She advised us not to stay in the inn in town so my guess is whatever is happening here she is involved albeit involuntarily.” He added. Once we got far enough away from the village Kakashi filled me in on what the woman said.

‘It’s not safe here. There are dangerous people intent on getting you to leave. Heed my warnings and go. There’s nothing for you here.’

It’s obvious the people here are not very strong shinobis considering they failed to keep themselves hidden as they shadowed us and why would they involve an incompetent and nervous doctor to provide an incomplete autopsy. Unless…

“Kakashi. I have an idea.” I told the man beside me with a smirk. 

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[rayshippouuchiha]

Kakanaru, Kakashi is the loyal little soldier and Naruto is the rebel leader, and one of them has been captured by the other

It was supposed to be a routine courier mission.

A uneventful run through the thick trees and winding rivers that mark the border between Fire and Rivers Country, a sharp cut through Wind and then a lengthy but usually uneventful ocean run on his way to the isolated but rich city that is Umo, the capital of Bird Country, a tiny island nation set off the mainland in the Kakushi Sea.

It was supposed to be quiet, almost peaceful.  A departure from the normal string of A and S Class missions that are his duty.

Iruka, with as much kindness as can be spared in Konoha, always does his best to have Kakashi assigned to courier missions like these once every other month or so if he can.  It is, as the chunin always tells him softly, the scar on his face pulling taunt with something a lot like sadness or rage, as close to a rest and recovery period as Kakashi is likely to get.

In the years since he assumed the position of Hokage Lord Danzo has never liked to let Kakashi sit idle.

And Kakashi, a loyal shinobi of Konoha above all else with no one left waiting for him at home, has never protested.  Not really.

He wasn’t expecting to run into an opponent of actual skill.

Heart pounding, blood roaring, and kunai pressed against the vulnerable skin of a his opponent’s throat, Kakashi takes a moment to really look at him.

He’s younger than Kakashi by at least a handful of years but it’s obvious in his build, in the way he moves, and in the short but brutal burst of combat they’d engaged in that he’s been trained and trained well.

He’s all flowing kimono sleeves, tanned skin, and wild golden hair that Kakashi’s sure turns heads wherever he goes.  Colorful in the way that Konoha shinobi, with their uniforms and rigid restrictions, are not allowed to be. Vibrant in a way that makes something small in Kakashi almost ache.

But Kakashi doesn’t care about any of that.  Can’t.  As a shinobi of Konoha all he cares about is the headband wrapped around the man’s slender waist.  The metal plate imprinted with the kanji for “shinobi” instead of the symbol for any one hidden village.

The mark of the rebel faction.  Deserters and traitors and people trained in the shinobi arts but unwilling to answer to Konoha or any of the other villages.

Kakashi isn’t sure which one this man is but his standing orders for rebels are to kill or, if possible, capture and return for interrogation.

“Ah, shinobi-san,” the man murmurs, uncaring of the way Kakashi’s kunai nicks his skin as he talks, sending a single bead of blood sliding down the blade.  “You’re really strong.”

“You will return to Konoha with me,” Kakashi brushes past his words, free hand reaching for the suppression seals all Konoha shinobi carry with them.  “Hokage-sama will have questions for you to answer.”

“That’s a long journey,” the prisoner hums, wrists held out in front of him with surprising obedience, not even attempting to avoid the seals Kakashi slaps onto his skin.  “Eight days at least, maybe longer depending.”

Kakashi knows that already and picks up easily enough on what the man’s implying.  Kakashi can make the trek in 2 days if he pushes himself to his limits.  A eight day or longer journey is at civilian speed. Which, with a prisoner in hand and no other means of transport, is exactly the speed he’ll have to take.

Again Kakashi doesn’t answer him.  Instead he pulls a thin length of cord from his storage pouch and ties the man’s hands together, leaving only a short leash for Kakashi to hold onto.  He’ll know if his captive makes any kind of suspicious movement and with shadow clones there’s always an extra set of eyes to be had if necessary.

“You don’t talk much huh?” the rebel asks even as Kakashi tugs at the cord and starts walking.  “Not even going to introduce yourself?”

Kakashi keeps his silence.

“Road to Konoha is a long time to travel together,” the rebel muses again.  “A lot can happen between now and then.”

He’s right of course but Kakashi’s not going to dignify his rambling with an actual response.

“Hatake Kakashi.”

The unexpected use of his full name makes Kakashi pause for a moment, turning back to look at the rebel.

“You’re really famous you know?” the man smiles at him, somehow soft and almost sweet even with the way it shows of his sharper than average teeth.  “And since I know your name don’t you want to know mine?”

“Not really,” Kakashi tells him.  Names aren’t all that important when he’s sure only days of interrogation and then death await this one.

“Rude,” the rebel’s grin undermines the complaint.  “Just for that I’m gonna tell you anyways.”

The breeze picks up then, rustling the flowers and vines that litter the clearing where they fought.

“You,” his prisoner grins up at him, “can call me Naruto.”

The twin silver bells braided into the mess of Naruto’s wild hair chime softly in the breeze.

For some reason the sound leaves Kakashi with bittersweet sort of ache he doesn’t want to define.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

A Shower Of Petals

Words: 801

Characters: Hatake Kakashi and Nohara Rin

Pairing: GaiRin

Concentration was vital for a medical ninja. If their concentration was broken, things went wrong. Surgeries were botched, Vital medical information was missed and people died.

No matter what was going on around her, Rin had to concentrate. Even on the smallest, most mundane tasks. No matter how much she wanted to bash her head against the desk and call it quits, or how strong the urge to shove the rest of her paperwork off to the side and forget about it until tomorrow or the day after.

Maybe something big would happen and she wouldn’t have to look at it for an entire week. It was asking a lot, but she deserved a break. Surviving two wars in thirty-five years of life earned her the right to a nice break.

“Arge,” giving in to the urge, she shoved the pile forward and dropped her head against the desk. Completely unconcerned with the loud thud that echoed in her small office from the contact. “It should be illegal to have this much paperwork.”

As if the universe had heard her pleas, Rin suddenly felt something soft raining down over her head. There were only two people she could think of who would interrupt her while she was working, and she knew for a fact Gai was in physical therapy at this moment. She had all of his appointments written on the calendar hanging on the wall behind her so she never forgot one.

That left only one other option.

“Kakashi,” tilting her head, she narrowed her eyes when she saw the man in question standing at the side of her desk with a suspiciously innocent smile and a hand full of flower petals. “Where did you get those?”

The answer was obvious. Just that morning she had noticed all of the flowers Gai had gotten while he was in hospital were dying. Petals littering the window ledge begging to be cleaned up.

“Your house was looking a little dirty when I went to visit Gai this morning,” he shrugged his shoulders as if it was no big deal. Like he hadn’t just dropped a bunch of dead flower petals on her head. As if sensing her next question, he quickly shifted topics. “I was going to stick with Gai for his physical therapy session -”

“As you should have,” it was part of their agreement. She went with Gai for three of his appointments every week, and Kakashi went with him for the other two. That way Gai was never alone and neither of them were ignoring their duties to support him. “I assume you have a good excuse for ditching?”

“He wants lunch,” that was not a good excuse. “With both of us.”

“Oh?” lifting her head off of the desk, she ignored the petals that fell from her hair. “Are we getting sushi?”

“As his girlfriend, I believe you get first say in food choices,” one unimpressed look from her and Kakashi was quickly rethinking his words. “What I meant to say is, Sushi sounds good.”

That was better.

“Well, how could I say no to such an offer?” plucking a petal off of her desk, she flicked it towards Kakashi with a triumphant smile. Only a little annoyed when he dropped all of the petals still in his hands in favour of covering his nose when her attack hit as if one tiny petal could hurt him. “Especially when Lord Sixth himself will be paying for my lunch break.”

It was the least he could do for making a mess of her office.

“Rin, how many times do I have to ask you to… wait, what!?”

By the time he realized what she had said, Rin was already on her feet and halfway to the door, and she didn’t dare stop for even a second.

Speeding up, she grabbed the handle to her office door and opened it into the hallway. Behind her, she could hear Kakashi following with an argument for why he shouldn’t have to pay for lunch, but she didn’t bother to pay him any attention.

There was only one goal on her mind at that moment. Get to the physical therapy ward, convince Gai to help her wriggle a free lunch out of their best friend, and relax.

The rest of her paperwork could wait until later. When she was full of sushi and recharged with all of the hugs she could ask for.

Smiling back at Kakashi, she gave him a little wink. “Come on, Lord Sixth. We don’t want to keep Gai waiting.”

Mumbled words followed her down the hallway. Complaints of ‘bully friends’ and ‘empty wallets’, but she knew Kakashi didn’t mean any of it. He would pay for lunch, they would all have a great time, and everything would be perfect.

[vesperlionheart]

Mamihlapinatapei - The look between two people in which each loves the other but is too afraid to make the first move. For KisaSaku. :D

KisaSaku & a belated happy birthday for @darth-salem-emperor-of-earth!

(Sort of a companion fix to This One)

‘In matters of inheritance in the land of Kirigkure, the country is old and small enough to cultivate its leftover practices from the oldest days, when Kiri citizens had to fight tooth and nail to protect what was once only a small fishing inlet. Their monarchy equivalent is selected from the previous ruler and approved by a majority vote from the three departments.’

“It shouldn’t count until an official hearing is held to conclude such matters,” Sakura grumbled to mostly herself. Mei was the least sympathetic out of all her supporters when it came to Sakura’s mood and opinions on her stupid country inheritance.

When Mei heard Sakura’s grumbles she only giggled and added another ‘grievance’ scroll to the ever increasing pyramid of incoming missives that would need to be addressed by the end of the day. “Honestly, you have no one else to blame but yourself. What did you expect would happen when you arrived on our borders with all of Tsunade’s tutelage and the copy nin’s keen sense for seeing underneath the underneath? You thought we’d let you go?”

Speaking of Kakashi made Sakura remember the old man’s poor advice: “Just go and check them out. Get in a few fights, drink a little and show them how terrible of a leader you would really be.”

That had worked out terribly.

While Sakura was legally considered a citizen of Kiri, she had grow up outside its boarders and adapted to the culture of the Fire Country where it mattered to have manners with strangers. Her strategy had been to walk in with a buzz and a beer in hand, provoke a shop keep, fight a swordsman-a legendary swordsman-and curse her way out of town. Everything had been going tremendously well, except actually it hadn’t. Kiri was wet in more ways than one and Sakura had unwittingly impressed more than just a few curious eyes with her tolerance of the local booze. Shit talking was seen as a greeting amongst Kiri locals, and fighting might as well have been synonymous with hugging.  

“They’ll kick you out soon enough and you’ll be back home before you know it.”

For not the first time, Sakura lamented Kakashi’s backhanded advice. When she berated him about it later on he only congratulated her on the revitalized economy, the updated hospitals, and all her efforts towards dismantling the caste system. Sakura’s protest that she never meant to do any of that fell on deaf ears.

The trial month was nearly over and plans had already been made to install her as their Mizukage, a position that would put her on par with her one time teacher, the Hokage in the Land of Fire. There was a lot of pomp and ceremony the elders were caught up in that pushed back the actual initiation-but the decision had been made and Sakura’s will was not enough to reject the concessions of the Trident-or the three seats of the Mizukage’s cabinet.

Mei made up the executive branch of the Trident, while the seven swordsmen made up the military branch. Yagura was the head of Economics and the mouthpiece of the Elders who weighed tradition against advancement. Sakura’s job would be to balance all three of their voices and carry the responsibility of any decision they came up with. Only a 3 to 1 vote could overrule a Mizuekage’s executive orders.

“Have you chosen your Second Shadow, yet?” Mei asked.

“I’m actually hoping that if I don’t that this whole party thing can get called off,” Sakura sassed back to Mei, already half finished with the next scroll and all but made up on her finial verdict for the request it presented.

“Have you looked at my boy?”

“Chōjūrō is a sweet kid and will make a fine swordsman one day,” Sakura answered diplomatically.

“But…?”

Sakura looked up and glared. “He’s as shy as an Angel Fish and he still somehow came up with the idea, completely on his own with no help from anyone, to wait for me in my hotel room in a silk robe and slippers and nothing else.” Sakura’s tone was heavy with sarcasm. “I don’t take kindly to attempts of coercion.”

“The kid just wanted your favor and you would hold that against him?” Mei playfully teased.

“I didn’t appreciate it, Mei. Don’t bully your boy into my bed.”

Mei rolled her eyes and picked through the finished missives Sakura had set to the side. “He needed the encouragement. He wouldn’t have done it, even though he wanted to, without some help.”  

“I’m not like you, I don’t enjoy robbing the cradle.”

Mei snorted. “Okay then, babe, tell auntie what your type is?”

Sakura paused and looked up over her next scroll. “Why?”

“Can’t you just believe I’m curious? Why do you have to sound so suspicious of every one of my questions? I’m honestly just curious.”

Sakura’s expression turned blank but Mei didn’t seem to care. “Sure, and my answer would have nothing to do with an attempt by you and the elders to set me up with a nice local boy who will convince me to stay. Suuuuure.”

“So if you’re not interested in our little prince, what abut the naughty type. Suigetsu doesn’t have anyone right now.”

“I thought you were trying to convince me to stay, not scare me off. That starfish can’t keep a relationship on lock for more than a month for a reason, and it isn’t the fault of any of his partners.”  

“So the naughty type is a turn off. What about the daddy type?”

Sakura’s face made an expression of horror. “Gross.”

“Not literally a daddy, don’t look at me like that. You might be surprised so don’t knock it till you try it. I’ll put that down as a ‘maybe’ for now.”

“Please don’t.”

There was a knock on the door and Sakura shouted out for them to enter before Mei could even turn around. A half second later Sakura realized her mistake when she saw Mei’s gloating face. The office already felt like it was Sakura’s.

Damn.

“What?” Sakura barked a bit rudely when Yagura stopped in front of her desk.

 “There’s an issue with deployment.”

“Why are you telling me this? Aren’t Kisame and Zabuza usually the ones who tell me what’s shit with their nin?” Sakura dropped her scroll and leaned back in her seat before waving for him to continue. “What is it?”

If Yagura was bothered by her rude address he didn’t let it show on his face and he never let it carry over into their conversations outside of work. “More of the Kaguya raiders are making issues for the settlements but we don’t have the resources to send out anyone to deal with it. Kisame and Zabuza are both off on missions you approved.”

“This really requires an S ranked response?” Sakura asked, knowing there were few others who could do what Kisame and Zabuza did. If Yagura was asking for either of them he deemed the threat S ranked.

“I’ve already written up the details of the response we’d need.” Yagura produced a thinner scroll and Sakura took it as it passed over her desk.

“If we didn’t have one of the swordsmen on this we’d need at least two dozen nin and we just don’t have those kind of numbers right now.”

“What’s the best we can do?” Sakura asked while rolling back in her chair to check the chart on the wall with a dozen different secret symbols that helped keep her up to date on the military numbers. It showed how many nin of different rank were deployed, how many were wounded, how many were undercover, and how many were available for deployment. It still took Sakura a minute to decipher everything on the chart but she would have it like a reflex by the end of the month.

“Eight.”

Sakura made a face. Eight was a really low number and it was her fault they were in this situation in the first place. She had gambled and played the number game with her nin. Kiri always needed a coalition of soldiers to defend it in case of invasion, and so even if there were over two dozen shinobi at home, she couldn’t touch those.

“Kisame is due back this afternoon, how time sensitive is this issue?”

“It depends on how much the lives of these colonists matter. They’re notorious for skirting on tax payments and regularly sell their produce to rival groups before our citizens.”

“But they are our citizens,” Sakura clarified. They lived outside the walls of Kiri and were largely bitter old marsh farmers and fishermen, but they were culturally more Kiri than Sakura.

“It would be a shame to loose their assets,” Yagura honestly answered. “The Kaguya clan would only grow emboldened if they took over the rest of this territory for themselves.”

Sakura was already standing, pulling off her robes. “Mei, tell Kisame to head over to the settlements as soon as he gets here, even if he’s on fumes. Just the sight of his big blue mug will send some of them running.”

“What are you doing?” Mei asked, eyes wide.

“I’m dealing with this. I still have my rank from Konoha. I should be sufficient with these four,” Sakura said while showing off the mission scroll with her name and four others filled in. “I’ll let them know personally. Yagura will-”

“I understand. I’ll stand in until you’re back.”

“You can’t leave, you’re our Mizukage,” Mei agrued. “That’s against customs. If you fall-”

“I’m not Mizukage yet and you still can’t tell me what to do,” Sakura warned before stalking out of the office with hands itching for a fight.

Hours later her Kabutowari was soaked with blood on both ends, both the hammer and the axe head had been fed enough blood and savagery to sate its appetite for carnage. Sakura was proud of their success and how cheep it cost. Not a single soul on her unit had been seriously wounded or lost and that was quite an accomplishment considering the Kaguya attacked in bands of eight to twelve.

“It’s cause we got to fight with our Mizuekage that our moral was so high,” old man Jinin cheered, looking ready for a stiff drink and maybe an audience who could listen to his tall tales and elaborations on the day’s battle.

Haku came up beside Sakura and touched her elbow to get her attention and she leaned in while he whispered the status of the nin’s health along with the injury inventory. It was a new step Sakura wanted utilized when units emerged from battle. If hospital records could be updated with a complete list of all injuries-including those treated and healed on the battlefield- it would help in future diagnostics.

Haku had helped develop the program and sell it to the other medic trained min. He had been invaluable in helping roll out new changes and on the battlefield his skill set had complemented her fighting style well, since he was more of a long range fighter while Sakura liked to deal damage up close.

“We’re good to go then,” Sakura sighed. “I’m tired. Someone treat me to hot saké once we’re back,” she playfully whined only to get a roar from the men and women on her team. 

Haku kept close to her side and walked with her until they got to the natural mist. Sakura gave the signal and the rest of her team blurred into the fog and took off like birds in a dive, unseen and deadly.

“You wanted to ask me something?” Haku queried.

Sakura was about to say yes but something else caught her eye and she pat Haku’s back in dismissal. “It can wait until after we’re back. I need to catch Kisame up but I’ll see you at the Drunken Whaler.”

Haku turned and saw Kisame emerging from he fog with the blood and grime from his last fight still stuck to his uniform. The two locked eyes and Haku nodded first before taking off.

“So, are you slipping for any particular reason or are you just getting old?” Sakura teased while approaching Kisame.

“Hey, no jokes about my age when my boss orders me to pull a double shift. Slave driver actually expected me to do some good here. Shows you what she knows.”

“Maybe she just wanted you to see what she could do, ever consider that?” Sakura teased back, shouldering her Kabutowar’s axe end on her shoulder while she carried the hammer half with an idle swing in her left hand. The weight never bothered her but she wondered how her weapon would react to a new pair of hands.

“How willing are you listen to your bad ass boss?” Sakura asked.

“You mean my hard ass boss?” Kisame teased back. “Dunno, it depends on the request. Does it involve drinking?”

“Eventually all decisions and requests involve drinking, but not yet. We can get sloshed at the Drunken Whaler with the rest of them but before we get that far…” Sakura rolled the axe head off her shoulder and held it out. “Wanna trade?”

Kisame whistled low and reached up to rub at some of the blood on his chin with the heel of his hand. The twilight was creeping in but the clouds were heavy and low so everything shaded in tones of gray and diluted yellow. Sakura saw a fragment of that sunken gold color in Kisame’s shark eyes when he looked at her weapon, but she wished he’d been looking at her.

He reached over his shoulder and rolled Samehada off his back, letting the bandages drop. The trade off was as natural as any other tradeoff would be between the swordsmen. If the seats hadn’t been filled Sakura might have replaced Haku as a swordsman, since she had a legendary blade and he didn’t. If she had been a swordsman she might have had the chance to do this earlier and with more than just Zabuza’s Kubikiribōchō, but she wasn’t a swordsman and this wasn’t a guaranteed thing.

“Thank you,” Sakura said before Kabutowari finished leaving her hand.

“Careful with him, Samehada can-oh, ya know, never mind. He’s a bitch that’s roll over for anyone with tasty chakra, I shouldn’t have worried for ya,” he chuckled while watching the handoff.

With issue, Sakura held the massive blade level and admired its scale pattern in the gray twilight. There was a delightful shiver as it sucked on her chakra and swallowed it down like a drunk with fine wine. Sakura could feel it purr not unlike how Kabutowari would in her mind once they were linked.

“Let’s see how you like this,” Sakura cooed before swinging Kisame’s blade against the wind and  stepping into the dance she had first learned for Kabutowari with minor adjustments since she was wilding Samehada in one hand. She felt it tense and almost cut at her hand but settled down as it realized what she was playing at.

Samehada cut into the fog and then shaved it down into a finer mist before wrapping it up around Sakura the way the first swordsmen would, back in the old days when chakra was still too wild to name and gods dared to walk amongst the children of men.

Through the mist and over her shoulder Sakura could see Kisame have fun on his own, dancing through the same steps with her two handed Kabutowari, showing mastery of the finer points in spite of his bulk. At first glance Kabutowari seemed too heavy and burly a weapon to expect any delicacy with, but if one wanted to unlock it’s full potential they would have to know more than just the brutal steps that wrought the most damage, they would need to know how to dance and make both the axe and hammer sing.

She watched Kisame twist through her steps like a ghost of her old master’s memory and watched, transfixed, as he let go of the axe side to swing around and snap back with perfect timing.

“Jealous?” the voice in her mind purred. Samehada helped himself to a drop more of her chakra as she paused in her steps.

“No, I know Kabutowari is my blade and he’ll return to me in time. There’s no reason to be jealous of your master for handling my blade so well.”

“Didn’t mean Kabutowari,” Samehada chuckled so deeply it made Sakura’s mind feel like a cavern with no end. A half second later she realized what Kisame’s blame meant and she giggled, almost manic at the implication.

“No,” she hissed through his stifled giggle. “No way, not you too. Leave me alone and let me have my fun.”

“Don’t see a reason you can’t have it both ways,” Samehada teased, poking at her palm but doing no real damage.

It wouldn’t hurt her if she could hear its voice and give him her chakra to sip on, but even if tried she’d be able to heal such a modest attack. There wasn’t any real danger to her from Samehada, but she felt unbalanced by his words enough to step out of the old steps and swing the monster blade down against the earth with a surge of chakra that split the earth.

She heard his excited cheer and delighted cackle as he served as the conduit to her legendary chakra release. Sounding almost drunk it asked for her to do that again but Kisame was already laughing at her and that was the only sound she could pay attention to.

“I think I’ve had enough fun for one night,” Sakura said with a tired laugh, hopping over to Kisame’s side with his sword. The exchange was easier this time but before Kisame could press Kabutowari into her hand their fingers touched enough for Sakura to feel where all his blisters had hardened into callouses. Even down the sides of his fingers she could feel the evidence of his devotion to the blade and she wondered, wickedly, what it would feel like to be handled by hands like that.

“Naughty,” Samehada purred to her before their link was severed. Sakura felt her face roar with heat and embarrassment, which she tried to play off by jumping back with Kabutowari and a nervous chuckle. Her weapon purred in confusion and almost understood but Sakura sealed him away into one of her pocket dimension before he could scream out the truth like an echo in her mind.

Damn, dirty thoughts-this was all Mei’s fault for planting the seeds in the first place.

Sakura ran her hands through the fog and then combed them through hair, grateful for the cool the almost night allowed. She knew she didn’t have a ‘pretty’ blush like some other girls. She went beat red and it was almost impossible to hide.

“We should head back, we’ve held back long enough the others might get worried. Plus, I wasn’t exactly quiet just now,” Sakura said.

“Aww boss, don’t make this old man run all the way back after I ran all the way out here only to be late,” Kisame playfully whined.

“What, you want to walk back. That’ll take forever,” Sakura said.

“Not for the whole while, but we can run off later. Can’t we just take it easy for a little while?” he asked.

Only because he asked Sakura agreed.

After a minute Kisame spoke up. “So the word going around is that you haven’t picked a second yet. Don’t you have any ideas or is no one willing to take on the load? You’re kinda a slavedriver.”

“I’m still thinking about it.”

“What are you thinking about.”

Sakura made a face, not knowing if he was teasing or being serious with his question. “It’s so different compared to Leaf, I mean this second almost feels like a marriage partner according to Mei, and it’s kinda serious enough that the thought process is similar. You pick someone and then they’re with you the whole time, nearly day and night, and that’s similar to how Shizune was for Tsunade, but…I don’t know, the cultures are different.”

“Is that such a bad thing?” Kisame chuckled. “When Kiri loses a kage it’s tits up and everything goes to shit real quick-we know because we’ve seen it more than any of the other hidden villages. More assignations mean more hard lessons learned.”

“But does it have to be one person? Tsunade had ANBU who were rotated out all the time.”

“Yeah but that’s such a shit idea here. If I wanted to kill the Hokage I’d just impersonate an ANBU and wait in rotation until I was alone with-ah, don’t give me that face, I’m just saying hypothetical things.”

“It’s not so easy to infiltrate ANBU.”

“You say that like we haven’t ever done that,” Kisame snorted and then when he saw Sakura’s face he laughed. “Nothing so bad, boss, nothing so bad! You’ll see for yourself when you get access after inauguration, but those ain’t your people no more. You are ours.”

There were a few too many things making Sakura’s gut church with complicated feelings. What Kisame said about belonging to Kiri was right and it hurt, not because she hated being accepted, but because of what it meant for her ties to everyone back home-back in Konoha. Tsunade and Kakashi were her teachers but they couldn’t call her their disciple anymore. For the sake of the future of their foreign policy, Sakura had watched as the steps were taken to cut her off from the village hidden in the leaves until there was only one place she could run to. It wasn’t a vicious thing and there was nothing personal about it. Sakura actually understood why they did what they did-changing out the codes and locking her out of accessing ANBU updates.

Kiri was supposed to be her home now…her village.

“Boss?”

“You know you can call me by my name when it’s just us,” Sakura said instead, trying to sound annoyed so he didn’t misunderstand the meaning of her words and think she wanted him to speak to her familiarly. “Boss makes me feel like an old lady.”

The other feelings that made her gut churn came from the last thing he said to her. “You are ours.” Someone once said the people in Kiri were a people who knew loss to well to share decently in the future, thus they were a possessive people who coveted many things.

“Then Haruno kun-”

“Haruno kun?” Sakura sputtered. “What are you my uncle? No-ugh, you’re-oh man I had a teacher who would call me Haruno kun in school back when we were in the academy. You’re banned from the ‘-kun,’ if you’re gonna tack something on at least make it sound cute.”

“Sakura chan?” Kisame playfully called out, pitching his voice high and squeaking out the title.

“Never mind, I take it back, just Haruno or just Sakura, but nothing else. Gosh, I thought someone said that in Kiri they didn’t have manners or shit. Just call me whatever, I don’t care,” Sakura said even though she cared.

“Then Haruno, who do you think would be a good candidate for second. You’ll pick from the swordsmen right? Where else would you go?”

“Mei wanted me to go with her boy Chōjūrō but can you see that working out?”

“That jellyfish?” Kisame hooted. “He’s as shy as an Angel Fish. You’d eat him alive for breakfast.”

“I live to entertain,” Sakura mocked with a silly bow. “But you’ve got a point about pulling from the swordsmen. What would that do to your seats? Would you replace whoever left or take in someone new?”

“Maybe Chōjūrō,” Kisame joked.

“He’s an excellent fighter, he just doesn’t have a future in politics,” Sakura defended. “I could see him growing into that role.”

Kisame watched Sakura a half minute longer before saying anything new. The sun was half sunk into the horizon and all the mist seemed to choke on dying colors as they waded through the distortion.

“You have someone in mind, don’t you?”

“I have ideas but I don’t want to have ideas since I don’t like this whole set up. If it was up to me and the elders didn’t insist on tradition, I’d just have the Seven of you on rotation as my guard.”

Kisame made a thoughtful sound. “That could work as a back up, but you know how those old tradition fogies are.”

Sakura rubbed at her neck and looked ahead. “I need a drink. Race you back?”

“Ah, but I’m all tired from-” Kisame never finished his sentence since he chose that moment to flash step forward and take off running. Sakura cursed and raced behind him but came last and ended up having to buy a round for everyone at the pub.

When Kisame woke a week later he was wide eyed and energized, which was a rare thing for him these days. He normally hated mornings but the sight of his fresh dress uniform hanging up was enough to make him remember why today was such a big deal. It wasn’t just any other day, it was Sakura’s inauguration.

The whole of Kiri was hyped as fuck for a new Mizukage like Sakura, one who revitalized their economy and recovered their crumbling hospital system. The fact that she was the wielder of Kabutowari made it feel like a long lost child coming home from the war with spoils to share with the whole country. Sakura felt like she had always been theirs, like Kiri had always been her home. Even when she had been trying to piss people off and get out of the inheritance she had fit in too well. Her brash personality and strong convictions made her-

“Perfect,” Kisame said out loud, a little too caught up in his thoughts.

He grimaced a the sound of his thoughts and moved to wash up before dressing for the day. He needed to finish waking up or else he was bound to say something else equally stupid. Today was too important to look like a fool.

In short order he was as handsome as he’d ever get with an ugly mug like his and dressed for the occasion. Samehada fit into the latch carrier on his back and outside he saw the others waiting in the courtyard to the mansion where Sakura would start her procession.

Already, people were filling the streets in hopes of catching an eyeful of their new Mizukage on her first day on the job. Some were selling flowered crowns and wreaths as the newest trend had been to emulate Sakura’s flowery good looks. Young girls were cutting their hair like her and boys were dreaming about an impossible future among the swordsmen because of her. There was a building that had been painted with a modest mural of Sakura trees and different blooming flowers in celebration. The love his people had for her was everywhere.

“You’re not late,” Suigetsu taunted.

Kisame punched the younger boy in the face, ignoring both Suigetsu and his brother in favor of seeking out Zabuza. “Hey, you hear anything yet?”

“No one here knows who’s getting the nomination, that hasn’t changed,” Zabuza answered.

“Did you sign the consent form?” Haku asked, lookin up at Zabuza first and then Kisame. The consent form was basically a way those with the qualifications could put their name in the hat that Sakura could pull from.

“On day one, brat. Why, you didn’t?”

“I…I mean I eventually put my name in for consideration. I think I’d do well at it,” Haku answered, steeling his words towards the end even if he kept glancing back at Zabuza.

Between the seven of them, the only one Kisame seriously considered a challenge was Zabuza when it came to winning Sakura’s second. The pair of them were the strongest, arguably, and had a good working relationship with others. But, between the both of them, Kisame knew he was the only one who had been on Sakura’s side since day one when she first arrived. Even if Zabuza had been won over and was loyal now, no one had been in Sakura’s corner like Kisame.

Kisame thought his chances were good.

“Get in your dame spots,” Ameyuri snapped with a dangerous edge. Since Sakura had cured Ameyuri’s disease the kunoichi was near fanatical in her devotion to Sakura. When Kisame pretended to drag his feet Ameyuri snapped her sharpened teeth at his face and he backed up with a chuckle.

The doors to the mansion opened and the elders filtered out before Yagura and Mei. Yagura and Mei paused at the top of the stairs before joining the elders in the courtyard where their respective bodyguards were stationed. That’s when Sakura emerged at the top of the stairs to the mansion and the moment Kisame thought his heart was going to stop. 

The robes had never looked so good on anyone before. Underneath the white and blue folds a soft dress of flaring gray and white, detailed with pearls and accented with a thick mother of pearl gorget around her neck, like the kind samurai would wear of a heartier material. It was ceremonial but Sakura wore it like armor.

The bells on her hat tinkled as she descended the steps and took her spot at the head of the group. Her painted lips were pressed into a hard line and her jaw was set with determination, but she still looked soft where it counted.

Kisame caught her eye at one point and it made his smile grow when the corners of her eyes crinkled for him.

“Haruno Sakura…” one of the elders began.

The ceremony lasted no longer than twenty minutes before Sakura was told to turn around and address the others. “And in line with the traditions of our ancestors, I will honor them with this choice and accept a second. Should I ever fall may their strength be measured by the gods and men,” she recited perfectly. Then she locked her lips and held up a hand before adding, “and in addition to a second I will be installing a rotating support guard for the Mizukage, with the blessing of the elders who safeguard our traditions. Every member of the Seven Swordsmen will rotate into the role of a tertiary figure of my inner circle, behind my second.”

Beside him Ameyuri gasped in delight, suddenly filled with hope that even if she wasn’t chosen she would still be able to serve her idol.

“Mizukage, your pick for second shadow?” one of the elders prompted.

Sakura nodded and the bells on her hat tinkled. “For my second shadow I have chosen Yuki Haku to serve me. Yuki Haku do you accept?”  

That…didn’t… make sense. Kisame snuggled to hear what Sakura said next as Haku approached her and knelt before accepting the mother of pearl pin with the symbol of Second Shadow. Haku said something back to her, maybe in thanks, but all Kisame could hear was the rush of blood in his ears as his gut churned in a grief he couldn’t understand.

[historicfailure]

i would love you for your writing if one day you got to write a gen fic (doesnt need to have an specific pairing if you want it) for a fix-it/reborn/time travel naruto fanfic (i recently got into them and apparently people on ao3 really like them?), aaaaa<3💖🧸 i think you already proved you can pull off any story line you come up with. of course you do what you want !! its just a suggestion as i know those fics can also get difficult because its basically creating a new naruto story line :(

Hey there, dear Anon!

I've never thought about writing a gen fic. I would need a really good idea which I would be invested in to actually get to writing AND finishing such a fic. Fix-it/reborn/time traveling... There is actually a fic on my list which includes time traveling/transporting a modern person into the Narutoverse. Though, I would need to erase any complications and fix all the errors as the fic in itself and how I planned it is really complicated ^^''

I can give a short abbreviation here, I believe:

The reader character is working a dead-end retail job. Her life is... exhausting and there's not much going for her, even though she tries her best to keep up. Money-struggles are growing over her head though, plus a possible burn-out syndrome looming over her head.

One night, she goes to sleep and has a strange dream. She gets transported by wind and leaves into the Naruto-verse where she meets Sakumo and a young Kakashi visiting the grave of Kakashi's mother. Of course, Sakumo is suspicious of her and takes her to the Hokage. In the end, they want to make sure she isn't a danger to the village and place her under Sakumo's guardianship.

That's the first two to three chapters though ^^'' So lots of development, lots of potential angst and hurt but also fluff. And I totally agree that creating a whole new story line would be a huge task, but I also think that it could be done... with the right motivation and inspiration on my part ^^''

Thank you for sending in this ask, anon! Sorry though I can't give you a more positive or definitive answer T^T

[bitchynaruto]

Hey so I read your post about Sasuke not using the mangekyo (however u spell it) Sharingan bc he knows how it is to be tortured by it but still uses it on sakura. And I’m curious about something.

Idk if you think this but I read somewhere that sakura “forced” Sasuke, by manipulating and/or pressuring him, to be with her and that’s why they’re together and I want to know what you’re thoughts are on it. Sorry I just realized that this is off topic. But for some reason, this “explanation” about the ss communtiy is stuck on me. You don’t have to answer obviously but I’m really curious on what you think about it. Since she kept pressuring him throughout the anime , even during war (which is honestly a wtf moment to me) , and I don’t like how she’s very persistent , when even kakashi tries to back her up -that honestly made me dislike kakashi since he knows that Sasuke isn’t interested in her but yet tries to justify her “love” , whether he says it subconsciously or not in his mind. I am a sns shipper tho, but I wouldn’t like force it ya know? I would’ve been happy too if Sasuke stayed single and focused on therapy for his trauma and all that but I’m hella curious. (Word of the day: curious, lol)

Sorry sorry for the rant again.

OH NO IT’S NOT OFF TOPIC! I mean it’s a logical question to come to lol, but honestly... I kinda agree with the sentiment that Sakura was persistent with Sasuke and that... he’s not in a relationship due to love but out of a sense of guilt and responsibility (that Kakashi and unfortunately Naruto reinforced if I remember right)

But anyway, I do think there was pressure and a bit of guilting for Sasuke to end up with Sakura. I don’t think he’s in love with her, and I think Sakura is aware of it and is in complete denial about it. There are multiple times in the war arc where she acknowledges that Sasuke couldn’t give less of a fuck about her, which is surprising because she KNOWS that considering he almost tried to kill her during the Kage Summit Arc. Flash forward to blank period, where it’s pre much confirmed that Sakura was following Sasuke around doing whatever. It’s confirmed that they conceive Sarada after Nart and Hinata get married (I’m pre sure), and she gives birth in one of Orochimaru’s old hideouts. Like.... if that doesn’t sound suspicious and weird and pushy... Idk.

Flash forward to Boruto, where Sasuke obviously meets up with Nart from time to time, but not his supposed “wife” or child. I say wife in quotes, but there’s like.. no evidence they’re actually married. There’s no wedding pictures, rings... The only picture Sakura has of him in the house is one where he’s wearing his Akatsuki cloak as a teen and her as a full grown adult. (I could go into the implications of this that she’s in love with the idea of Sasuke, instead of Sasuke as a person .. but well, well...) Sarada asks why they’re not a normal family, and asks Sakura if her dad has glasses, and Sakura can’t even remember??? That one simple fact?? Anyway she destroys the house because Sarada is , in my opinion, poking holes in the delusion her mom is invested in. Sasuke’s gone for so long he doesnt even recognize his OWN kid and nearly kills her. And now thats hes around, hes Borutos mentor instead of his own daughter?? Ive kinda made joke posts in the past that Sarada is Sasukes reminder of the situation hes found himself in with Sakura, a physical, breathing reminder of well... his shitty situation. I mean he was essentially guilted by Kakashi and Naruto to be with Sakura considering how much she loved her and all the shit he put her through (which obviously was wrong, he shouldnt have tried to kill her or genjutsu her—no matter how many times ss stans claim he genjutsud her to protect her, i just dont buy it considering his connection with it and how rarely he uses it unless its self defense from itachi—but that doesnt mean hes obligated to “love or be loved by her”). also in boruto sasuke says that the only reason why he and sakura are together is because they have sarada, which pre much explains his headspace regarding his situation with sakura.

anyway, to answer your question, yeah i think there was manipulation, pushiness, and guilt-trippy shit involved in why sasuke eventually ‘got together’ with sakura. i mean, think of it in the reverse genders. i think a lot of people would find the whole situation of how sakura and sasuke ‘got together’ more suspect than it is.. anyway of course thats my opinion!!! i generally agree, and i think sasuke is only with her out of some weird combination of penance (for naruto) and obligation (for sarada)

[aineirisha]

What I confessed while daydreaming

FIRST ENCOUNTER

Kakashi walked by the aisle where his precious Icha Icha was, just to pay a visit. He stopped. It wasn´t the most common thing to see a girl going through erotic literature. You were taking one of the volumes in your hands and opening it carefully. You browsed through its pages and smiled mischievously. 

That old Jiraiya is quite a character...

You laughed at the memories and put the book back on the shelf. Kakashi saw you from the corner of the aisle, a little bit surprised that a pretty girl like you could take an interest in erotic literature to pay attention to that particular section of the book shop. You turned around to continue your search and he stared at your butt while you walked away. 

"Can I help you with anything, sir?” a lady asked, pulling him out of his thoughts. “Mmh?”  he answered absentmindedly. ”No thanks. I already got what I want” the recipe book in his hand. He smiled politely at the lady. 

Formed in line to pay, the sound of your voice caught his attention. You where two people in front of him, “You wanna go first?” you told the man behind you.  ”I'm forgetting something”. You walked out the line. A minute later you came back with the first volume of Icha Icha in your hands and the same mischievous smile he had seen before on your face. “Now I'm ready” you smiled at the woman attending. Kakashi realized the woman was giving you a  judging look but you didn’t seem to care. "Thank you" You took the bag with your books and walked out of the shop. He saw you leave with a slight feeling of amusement and intrigue.

*****

The night was cool, The full moon shining up in the sky creating contrasting shadows in the silver light. 

Kakashi was on the outskirts of Konoha heading back to his apartment after a night walk when he heard music playing not so far away. It was good music, happy music, music he didn’t quite recognize. He wasn't in a hurry so he decided to listen to the curious voices in his head. As he approached the source he realized it came from a small house with the lights on. The fence prevented him from looking inside so he climbed a tree to get a better view. 

Squatting on the branch, he could see the kitchen and part of the living room. 

To his surprise, he found that the one responsible for the music was the same girl he had come across some days ago at the bookshop. He stood there peeking through the window and through your privacy, enjoying the way you danced to the music with absolute delight. The way you moved your hips to the rhythm and jumped on your tiptoes and flipped your hair.

As if everything in this world was right. You were dancing freely without any kind of worry or any kind of shame. Having fun in your kitchen while you cooked. No weight of pain or sadness, or guilt, only pure joy. You were spinning with your hands rising up to the sky like in ecstasy. It made him smile. To see someone able to enjoy anything the way you were enjoying yourself and the music, it was almost as if his sorrow was being brushed away with every move, with every note, and he felt light, like floating at ease, like the rest of the world didn’t matter anymore. 

You felt a stare out the window and quickly expanded your chakra to make sure you were safe. You noticed someone standing on the branch surely spying on you but it didn’t feel like he was going to attack so you decided not to pay attention and minded your own business. When the food was ready and all the dancing got you a little tired,  you sat down to eat. 

Kakashi went back to his apartment. The melody of one of the songs you danced to still ringing in his head and the softest grin, almost a smile, drawing on his face beneath the mask. The wind blowing lightly, stirring his hair, caressing his skin, the bit of skin that was showing. He took his mask down to get a better feel of it and took a deep breath, feeling light, feeling free, feeling alive.

******

He found himself unconsciously going back to the street where you lived prowling as if he were looking for something (looking for you, looking for that feeling) but every time second thoughts would take over - out of embarrassment, surely - and he’d end up going back to his apartment without paying you that much wanted visit. Until one night he was coming back from a mission and didn't give it much thought. As it usually happened, his feet took him to your street almost with a mind of their own, and by the time he realized he was already standing on the branch from last time. 

He found you sitting on the couch reading. Something in the book made you laugh and tilt your head backwards. He hid behind the tree just in case. It was a weird feeling for him. Not that he hadn’t spied on anyone before, he was actually used to spying on people, but it had never been done out of amusement, it was always on missions. And yet this time he was giving himself permission to be an intruder in someone else's intimacy. And that awareness made him feel… weird, maybe a little bit ashamed even, but the weirdest part was that he was actually enjoying it. He was enjoying seeing you enjoy something. 

You laughed again and shook your head as if in denial, probably judging something you just read. Your hand went up to your mouth while you smiled. 

Really? Jiraiya wrote this?!! And people actually pay for this?! And not just some people, a lot of people. 

The idea of that old man writing it cracked you up, but as you kept reading you started to admit it wasn’t that bad. It actually had some really good moments. It was quite entertaining. 

You heard a crack outside and immediately went on alert. Your chakra already expanding to check out for danger. You found a familiar energy and it felt like a deja vu. Took you 2 seconds to realize it was the same energy you felt days ago while you danced. You smiled. So you were being monitored, ok. Cause apparently he wasn’t going to attack you. Maybe the Hokage was still suspicious about your presence in Konoha. Fine. Not like you had anything to hide.

 As you finished the chapter you closed the book and put it back on the shelf. Stretched yourself and walked to your room. 

He saw you closing the book. You were reading ICHA ICHA! WHAT?!... It made perfect sense though. Kakashi knew those books by heart and of course, a piece of art like that would get anyone with a good taste laughing and enjoying. And he already knew you had that book 'cause he saw you buying it. So silly of him not to realize that before, he may have enjoyed spying on you even more, thinking about the chapter you might have been reading. 

He opened the door to his apartment feeling… happy?... that might be too much to say but he certainly was feeling amused. He closed the door with a smile on his face and that same lightness in his heart he had felt last time, satisfied that his feet took the leap without asking for permission, Forgetting completely that he was coming back from a mission and that the past week had been hell. 

________________  

Next

Masterlist

@femboyneji here it is :)

[owlsbride]

Icha Icha and Prejudice: The Book Club

Chapter V: A Suitable Marriage

"So…" Sakura answered, arriving at an obvious conclusion observing her cup of sake "now you have to go all way to Suna to solve Naruto's mess."

"Yes," Kakashi nodded, looking at the empty space behind her "I'm not exactly thrilled about it, but it's my job after all." He concluded finally directing his gaze to Sakura to look at her big furious green eyes. He suppressed an inner smile.

"But why? Why don't you send Naruto back again? He was the one that asked the Kazekage an extra train program to be a better Hokage" Sakura started annoyed "And Gaara accepted. What was he thinking? Besides, they both made this mess together."

It was infuriating. Gaara, the most collect man she has ever known, all so stoic, silently analyzing everything around him with his sharp mind. Separated from the world, absorbed in his thoughts with his celestial eyes always directed to the horizon, protecting his village. She couldn't understand it.

"Maa, Sa Ku Ra, calm down" Kakashi spoke with his soft tone, guessing what was going on inside her mind "Gaara may be the Kazekage, and a great one, by the way, a fine young man, but inside he's still a child. I think he's still trying to figure out what human relationships are all about, and when being too friendly or solicitous is too much. I guess he couldn't say no to a friend." There was so much tenderness in his words that Sakura sighed leaning back in her chair a little less angry.

"God, he's worst than Sai." Sakura agreed finally most to herself than to Kakashi thinking about the problems that the young man with black hair suffered and caused due to his lack of social empathy.

"Trust me Sakura, if I were to choose between them both..." Kakashi left the phrase hanging. He was not mad at the Kazekage nor Naruto, he was just tired and resigned with the last one. Naruto would never really change.

"Still..." Sakura began again "I don't know why you can not solve this problem from here. Was it that bad?

"You couldn't just start to imagine."

"But this weather..." She was less angry but pushier now.

"If I didn't know you better, I would think you don't want to let me go, Sakura" he spoke in such a suggestive way that Sakura trembled under his gaze "but I'm sure is not the case, right?"

"Of course not Hokage Sama" she was blushing, a lot "I'm just worried about the security of our leader." Sakura finally answered, wrinkling her nose. Kakashi laughed at her face.

"Relax Sakura, I'm not just an old useless politician".

"I guess you are right... you are not a politician" Sakura said, sticking out her tone.

"Careful Sa Ku Ra, the cat may eat your tongue someday" Kakashi answered her with a deep dark tone licking his own lips, or at least that's what she believed. Again the warm feeling forming in her low stomach, now she was sure, it was not her chakra.

"Yeah... anyway..." she tried to hide her excitement and shame at once adopting a much more professional stance, "I think I should go with you." She finished crossing her arms on the table.

"And that could be because...?" Kakashi leaned back on his chair taking distance from Sakura, eyeing her suspiciously, he had seen this coming. He knew that Sakura was going to ask her to go with him.

"I think it's pretty obvious Sensei." He hated the honorifics, but he just stopped fighting it a long ago with Sakura. It was just a mannerism, a way of speaking, not particularly a sign of respect or distance. It was merely their ways, and it was ok, strange and alluring at times, but ok.

"Go on..."

"I believe that the company of a nin doctor in this weird mission of yours, trying to recover Suna from the Tsunami named Naruto, could be of much help." She finished matter of factly.

"For what? a heatstroke?" Kakashi wasn't going to fall in her charms.

"Stop mocking me, Sensei" Sakura pouted. Now she was feeling hurt.

"I'm not mocking you." He smiled. She was cute sometimes. "I'm just saying that there are no risks in my short journey to Suna. It's a safe trip. Only three days and I'll be back; besides, you forget something."

"What?" Sakura asked in confusion

"You are on vacations."

"Yes, a vacation I didn't request for." It was evident that she still felt horrible about that decision.

"And yet, here we are. Having dinner in your second night of" Kakashi said raising his cup, even if he was not going to drink it with Sakura watching straight to his face.

"I guess..." Sakura did drink her sake and started again with all the Suna issue "So, you are going alone? Who is going to be encharged during these days?"

"I asked an old friend to help me here. Luckily she said yes. Having you not accepting the recess and Naruto trying to put his last training in practice is too much of a danger to leave the village alone. And no, I'm not travelling by myself" Kakashi gave her a wink.

"Hey! I'm not that bad. I'm not going to break the rules Hokage Sama". Sakura was starting to feel offended. She was not a girl anymore. He had to stop seeing her like one "I'm not a gir..."

"A girl. You are not a girl anymore." Kakashi finished for her "I'm well aware of that". Eyes darker.

"So, Who is this friend of yours and with who are you travelling with?" Sakura asked incredulously. She didn't know Kakashi had friends except for Guy Sensei and Genma, (who were definitely not suitable for cover him in these three days) less a woman. Why was she a bit jealous, and why was Kakashi noticing it? He laughed a true-hearted laugh.

"Easy Sakura, Lady Tsunade is going to take my place these days, I think she is more than capable, don't you agree? He was genuinely asking her opinion.

"Wow!" Sakura said in surprise "She must really love you like to say yes."

"Doesn't everyone love me? He was such a Drama Queen. "And about the travelling arrangements, I'm going with Shikamaru."

"Well..." Sakura pondered "Shikamaru is really capable, and he is your advisor. I think he is the most suitable for the job." Sakura concluded.

"Yes," Kakashi stated. "though, I think he has his personal agenda on this journey."

"Oh... You mean..." Sakura didn't want to talk more words than necessary. She didn't know how much information Kakashi had about Temari and Shikamaru's relationship.

"Of course Sakura," Kakashi spoke as it was the most obvious thing in the world "The princess."

"So you know..." It was not a question.

"Sakura, I'm not the Hokage for nothing, you know?" There was fun in his voice. "I've seen how they look at each other, I've listened when they talk at the phone. I've been there when they fight together side by side at the Fourth War. It was just a matter of time." He finished almost with longing.

"Like us" Sakura whispered to herself not expecting Kakashi to listen.

"Like us, what? His eyes were gleaming. Sakura felt nervous.

"Just..." she had to think quickly. "Just like the rest of us, you noted the romance coming back then too." That was closed. Kakashi shifted his mouth uncomfortably under his mask, wrinkling his nose. He wasn't buying it.

"Yes." Disappointment in his words. "Anyway... I think a wedding is coming soon and it will become most profitable for both villages. Suna and Konoha united forever. Shikamaru and princess Temari, we couldn't ask for more." Kakashi spoked low.

A cold chill ran down Sakura's spine upon hearing Kakashi's words. It was the Hokage who spoke: cold, distant, calculating. She wasn't sure if she liked this version of Kakashi. Yes, she has witnessed terrible decisions that he had to make as the village leader, she had seen the horrors of the war and what makes people do. But why this bothered her so much? Was it because she had lost sight of the fact that he was the Hokage after all and not just his partner, friend, and secret fantasy? Was she so in love that, now, only one sentence about the convenience of marriage was enough to make all the bandages fall off?

Kakashi hadn't actually said anything about fixing a marriage, but that's what it sounded like, and inside her, it seemed painful.

"What's wrong, Sakura?" Kakashi asked full of worry. He had just realized after his lazy conversation that something had bothered Sakura.

"Is that how you see us?" Sakura began without looking at him "only as exchange goods, potential political deals or war unions thanks to a good marriage and the lineage that can come out of it?"

"I'm sorry, Sakura, but I can't see the problem there" Kakashi answered in all honesty.

"Sure..." Sakura said dryly in a mocking tone "then maybe I can go for the Kazekage. What do you think? I'm sure that is highly beneficial".

Kakashi was confused, but he was not going to recoil.

"Well, Sakura, good luck with that, cause I don't think Gaara is into girls..." He started doubting "Actually, I think he is into nothing at all, but that's your choice." Why was he getting angry? "Now, if instead, you would like to set your eyes on the brother, Kankuro, that could be something entirely different."

"You can start making the arrangements then, and as Hokage, you can walk me down the aisle." Sakura suppressed a tear.

"That would be your father´s job. I may be old, but that´s not my place" Kakashi retorted angrily, but without racing his voice.

"My parents lost faith in me long ago, I don´t think they are interested in my wedding, they think I´m already too old for that" She was sad, resigned. They have stopped talking to her when she refused to marry Sasuke, another suitable arrangement.

"What the hell are you talking about? I'm not one of those characters of that stupid book of yours, Lizzie."

Sakura looked down, suddenly she was feeling a bit ashamed. She avoided his eyes at all cost, and she was safe by the waitress announcing that the restaurant was closing. Kakashi paid the bill without saying anything, and they both started walking home, strangely taking the same path.

Sakura was the first in breaking the silence.

"You are reading the book, eh?"

"Hmmm" Kakashi hummed as the only answer.

"Already bored?" She was watching at the stars.

"Actually no" Kakashi began "Even if I don't know yet what to think about it, debating my self between if it is a good manner manual or a statement of the women position in the society, I have to recognize it's quite interesting."

"You haven't read enough yet" Sakura was acting childish. How was it possible that he still didn't realize that the book was actually an ode to true love.

"I supposed." He closed the conversation.

They continue walking a few more blocks before arriving at Sakura's door. Finally, they face each other.

"Sakura, listen" Kakashi needed to clear some things before parting to Suna "What I meant earlier" he swallowed hard "I would never jeopardize the happiness of any of you for the good of the village. You are my priority. The marriage between Shikamaru and Temari is indeed a benefit to Konoha, but that does not mean that I'm directing your lives from a desk. All of you already risk enough every day out there. I would not take love out of your hands."

Sakura nodded with her mouth dry, she needed a drink, a strong one. She finally locked eyes with him and smile much more relaxed.

"Are you going to send me a text as soon as you arrived Suna?" Sakura asked in a happy tone.

"Of course" he simply answered, hands in his pocket.

"And are you going to send my regards to the Kazekage and his brother?" Now she was teasing.

"If that's what you wish..." Kakashi left the phrase got lost in the air. The storm menacing again once more the Konoha's sky.

Sakura laughed heartedly.

"Good night Kakashi Sensei, have a good trip." Sakura said, turning her back to him.

She suddenly stood frozen with her keys trembling in her hands.

Warm breath sifted through the mask ran down her neck and the lobe of her ear. Kakashi hadn't gotten to touch a single hair of her, but all of it rose on her body. Her breath stopped for an instant that seemed like hours, his words tickling as he spoke.

"Have a good night you too, Lizzie." And just like that Kakashi disappeared.

Inner Sakura was going to be happy.

Notes:

So many things to say

1- It´s getting really really late here but I wanted to post it anyway

2- A little bit of tension is not that bad

3- Next chapter we may know, or not, what Naruto has done at Suna. Also, I´m pretty sure that the virtual chat is coming back.

4-Kakashi is making his homework after all.

5- I like the idea that Gaara may be a bit of asexual, though the story shows us different.

6- You Know what to do.

7- If there is anything else you would like to know, please write to me

8- Can somebody be so lovely and helpful and explain me how to link the chapters for making it easy to read? I'm almost as stupid as Kakashi with tech

[halfgclden]

EPISODE 32: A MAJOR OCCURANCE

The sound of spooky intro music plays and fades out. As the microphone clicks on, faint sounds of water and traffic can be heard in the background.

JADE: Hello cryptwizzlers, cryptrackers, but never cryptormentors because we’re all friends here. Welcome to a very special episode of Cryptwins in which we are not actually researching a cryptid. But! Before you shut this off and call us hacks, we are instead researching the recent disappearance of social media fitness guru; Edison Major.

More spooky music plays. There is also the sound of fingers tapping a rhythm. It's typical Joel, unable to contain his energy as he taps the dashboard in time with their intro music.

JOEL: Weeeeeeeell...Maybe we are hacks. —a pause as he laughs— Nah, just kidding. This is the real deal. I'm not sure you're ready for this. This is some spooky, and excuse my French, spooky shit. Tell us more about this Major disappearance? —another laugh— Get it?

JADE: [A short laugh-sigh is let out at Joel’s joke.] Okay, before we begin, two things. One, get ready for the barrage of major and minor jokes, courtesy of Joel here.

JOEL: Got a whole list, be ready! He lets Jade finish, but listeners can still hear the tapping sound while she speaks.

JADE: Secondly, we’re still on the road here, so if the audio is bad or choppy... deal with it? —another small laugh— Anyyyyway. Spooky is right. This all began in September of last year, when @majored posted a picture of himself in a dark basement wearing a weird costume and then immediately went off the grid. And, you know, I’m all for a social media cleanse, people do it all the time. Buuut, what really brought this to our attention was a month later, on Halloween Eve of all nights, when a video popped up of him getting his ass kicked by someone in a Kakashi Hatake costume.

JOEL: Now, I know y'all are asking yourselves "Isn't he a fitness guru? Why was some weeb kickin' his ass?" And to that I say hey! Some weebs are strong, some are Super Saiyan, and others are Kakashi Hatake, the most talented ninja in Konohagukure.

JADE: lets out a laughing wheeze.

JOEL: We don't endorse fighting here. But I digress —a laugh— back on topic. So this guy just up and disappears out of nowhere? And there's not a peep of him until we see Kakashi givin’ him the business. What does this all mean?

JADE: Okay, so, let’s get the full story. @majored goes off the grid, comes back to get his ass kicked by a Naruto character, disappears again, comes back to spit on someone and call them a see you next Tuesday, and then disappears again. And he hasn’t come back online. So what’s up with that? Well... we did a little digging.

Another spooky noise plays over the sound of Jade organizing a stack of papers.

JOEL: Daaaaaaang. I’d say those are some fightin' words, especially from someone who keeps pulling a vanishing act, don’t ya think?

JADE: They really are! I mean, he is from New Zealand, but even so, I think you don’t use that word unless you want to attract some attention. -She clicks her tongue as she gets back on topic- The video was originally posted the night before Halloween of last year, by @ime.are on Twitter. Obviously they got a lot of hate and questions after posting this, but all of them were left unanswered. The only person in the video that was tagged was Major, but upon further examination, this Ime seems to follow and have pictures with someone who happened to be dressed as Kakashi that same night, which has led many to speculate that these ninjas are the same person.

JOEL: So we all know Halloween's a spooooky season. Perfect for parties and all that jazz. But all those costumes make it a perfect time for disguises. Was that even the real Major? Was the person who spit the real Major? Who is this Ime and how do they fit into the story? And who— a pause for dramatic effect and muffled laughter as he tries to stay serious— is this mystery ninja? Tell us more!

JADE: Alright, alright. So this mystery ninja goes by Abel, or @_kllledbycain on the Gram. At first glance, they look pretty much like every other TikTok e-boy; black and white photos, pet snake, the insinuation that they’re dead, whole nine yards.

JOEL: snorts when Jade announces their handle, and again at her eboy comment, wheezing. It's true, it's true!

JADE: And this stuff is so common right now, so nothing really raises any eyebrows, right? Right? Well, tell me, why would a Tik Tok goth go around beating the crap out of a random influencer? Stay tuned for the theory. First, we’re gonna take a step back and look at the whole situation, because, of course, it doesn’t end there.

JOEL: Ohhhh snap! I'm on the edge of my seat, and I bet our listeners are too.

JADE: [clears her throat] So if we go back to the original poster of the video, @ime.are, and we take a look at their Insta, who is on it but... @devinitely? Okay, so @devinitely is in the same place as @majored, clearly, and, for anyone that doesn’t know, she’s been doing a bunch of collabs with @loganvance. This places not one, not two, but three influencers all together in this place where weebs are running around assaulting people.

JOEL: Okay. Okay, I need to know! Where are they? What's bringing all these influencers together? Are @devinitely and @loganvance part of something much more sinister than it seems? [He makes a funny face at Jade and wiggles his fingers, before dropping his voice to a stage-whisper.] Is it some kind of twisted influencer cult?

JADE: Shhhh, Joel, spoilers.

JOEL: [He laughs.] Sorry, sorry!

JADE: [muffled laughter over the sound of more papers rustling.] So, any skeptics out there might say, oh, well, this Ime Are is just a lucky person who happens to be in the presence of more than one social media personality. However, Devin follows the weeb that may or may not have kicked Major's ass. And, according to a cast photo of Rocky Horror, on her boyfriend's Instagram, both the weeb in question and the hot man that tore the two apart were part of the cast. This would be a great time to mention that a link to the video is in the description, as are all the pictures from social media that I'm referencing.

JOEL: [to Jade but loud enough for the mic to pick it up at regular volume] Oh snap, you got everything together in a link? Like, I could click the link to check it out right now? — A pause as he does just that.— Woah, cryptwizzlers, she's not kidding. Click the link in bio, you won't be disappointed. Okay, Jade...hear me out. Given that it was Halloween, the night of nights. Do you think that...maybe it was all an elaborate event? Was it staged? Is any of this real?

JADE: Oh, my dear brother, always the skeptic. Don’t you think that it’s a bit much for him to stop posting entirely in order to get publicity? And we mustn’t forget the spitting on someone in South Dakota, that’s not exactly his brand. Unless he’s trying out something like Taylor Swift and Reputation but... I digress. No, I don’t think any of this is staged, and I’ll tell you why. Let’s go back to the weird cow print basement post. You know who also happened to post something about some cowboy party? Oh, um, Devin’s boyfriend? A picture of him, Devin, and Logan? Which... puts them and Major in the same place on the night that he disappeared.

JOEL: Not a skeptic! Just trying to get all these questions answered. —A laugh— You're right, that's 180 from the online presence he used to have. All theories aside, —a pause— I'd love to go to a cowboy party. Get me a glow-in-the-dark cowboy hat. You know they make 'em. —He laughs again, mouthing 'what?' to Jade.—

JADE: Oh, def. We're getting matching hats. Check out our merch in a few weeks —she laughs— Glow in the dark mothman themed cowboy hats, talk about a niche.

JOEL: Snap, we have to do that now, 'cause I want one real bad. But okay, back on track. This cowboy party. The origin of this theory, yeah? Oh snap...what were those three doing in the same place as Major? And all in cow print too? That's....majorly suspicious! [He trails off into laughter, his voice doing that wheezy thing when someone's trying to finish their sentence before cracking up. Recovering, he adds the following.] Wait, wait, wait. What about—

JADE: Yes, yes, yes. —she cuts Joel off as though he's finished his sentence, chuckling at his joke— Patience, my dear twin, we will get there. —the smile is evident in her voice—

JOEL: I feel like somehow, I ended up as your Padawan for this episode. — he laughs—

JADE: You heard it here, I'm absolutely schooling Joel this episode. — she laughs— First, we're going to backtrack all the way to the original poster again. You know we snooped their whole page, and they're pretty regularly posting pictures with this person, @rengaaay, who isn't an influencer but she makes some of those sick ass roller skating videos... this isn't sus, just cool, link in the description. —a slight pause as she tries to get back to her train of thought— Anyway, what is sus is that she tags two people in her photos all the time... But no joke guys check out their Insta profiles they look different in like every other picture. Which, uh, could just be editing but also could be something.... more sinister? Hold onto that thought.

JOEL: That's such a good handle, dang! Better than @lumberjoel, honestly. I have to say I'm jelly. We should get branded rollerskates, maybe @rengaaay can advertise for us if we ship them. JK...unless? —more laughter as he waits for Jade to get back on the train and pulls up the profiles in question to take a look for himself— Huh...is it editing? Are they masters of disguise? Makeup professionals? —He starts to say something else but is pretty sure he's figured out where Jade's going with this.— What could be more sinister than human chameleons?

JADE: [The sound of papers shuffling can be heard] Oh, yeah, so, it's weird but I think every time the siblings are in a pic together they look more like each other? I dunno if this really makes sense but seriously dudes check the post with this episode because it has a bunch of photos side by side and... yeah. You pull a photo of them by themself and it's like okay, I know what this dude looks like and then you put them side by side and... I dunno, makeup? Contacts? Cloning, mayhaps? And, just so that I'm not just holding on to one thing too much... check their post from August 12th, linked below. Their brother... doesn't have a shadow. Why would you edit that out of a photo? No way are they going that hard to be memelords.

JOEL: Okay, let me look at this. Wha— That's weird as hell. How much hair dye do these two use? Hm. Could be clones? —snaps his fingers—Definitely clones. —he snorts loudly, laughing before clearing his throat— Ahem, uh. No shadow? That's dedication! I dunno, maybe it's some new challenge for the 'gram. Oh...but wait. I found a video. Look, Jade. No shadow. In a video. What the—

JADE: A video, guys. —A moment of muffled laughter before her mic cuts out, but the sound of it clicking on again is followed almost immediately— This is a big family, guys, and a big weird one because their other brother @sleepyfinch... Okay, wait, he himself is pretty normal, super cute, shout out, but guys, ghouls, you know who he has tagged in a recent post? Yet another influencer. Except this one is from Italy? @gaborealis; essentially, he’s a medium, so if you didn’t believe that the supernatural were at play beforehand... buckle up.

JOEL: Wait, wait, I'm still on the video thing. Who has time to edit a video? —his voice cracks when he says video and he covers his laughter as he focuses—

JADE: [wheezing] Shut up —there is no malice in her voice, and she’s laughing too.—

JOEL: So weird, I love it. Oh snap— the @gaborealis? It's time to get ghosty! —echoes "ghosty" and hums the Cha Cha Slide tune for a couple seconds— Okay, so wait. Does this mean everyone's favorite medium is also in the same place as...three? Three other influencers and this weird family of....maybe shapeshifters? No? Too crazy a theory?

JADE: You know what they say, cryptoddlers; no theory is too crazy. Everything Einstein came up with? Theory.

JOEL: Bringing Einstein into it, huh?

JADE: Oh you know it. —a snort— Anyway, according to Devin’s boyfriend’s Instagram, it doesn’t end there. @spencerkeahi, a youtuber and disability rights advocate who comes from Hawaii is also there with that gaggle. Shout out to @elidrising for tagging people and location. So what are these influencers from all corners of the globe gathering together for? Well, let’s take a look at the original poster again. You go on their Twitter, and a few months back it’s all just videos of people... fighting? In some sort of underground place. Mayhaps... the same creepy basement that Major posted his last photo? —a small gasp, as though she’s surprised by this— No, that must be a coincidence... or is it?

Another spooky sound plays

JOEL: @elidrising is the man, dang! Are you tellin' me there's a...—he lowers his voice to a whisper— secret influencers-only Fight Club? I wouldn't put it past @devinitely TBH. Honestly, I'd join one...even though I guess I've broken the first rule but talking about it, huh? Actually— Jay, do you think we'd even be allowed to join? Are podcasters influencers? Poll in my story right now, let us know what y'all think.

JADE: Right now? Joel, this isn’t going up for another week, at least. —She’s obviously trying to sound less amused than she’s coming off— Once we get the blue check we’re influencers, so we’ve got a few million followers to go, I think.

JOEL: Yeah, right now! They'll hear that when the episode goes up and respond in real ti— Oh, no. You're right. Oops. No poll in my story, y'all. False alarm. Blue check, huh? You heard it here, cryptwizzlers, we're gonna get that blue check. Tell your friends, tell your family. Heck, tell that cute barista at your coffee shop to listen to our podcast! We might just do a giveaway when we get that lil' blue swoosh.

JADE: [clears her throat.] You know what’s a great way to get us that blue check, though?

A different, light sort of spooky music begins playing in the background, meaning that it’s time for the ad break

JOEL: Take it away!

JADE: Checking out a little app called Creature Comforts. Alright guys, not that this show isn’t one hundred percent real as it is, but for real, I love this app. A dating sim that features everyone’s favorite... for lack of a better term, monsters. Did you watch the Shape of Water and go, “Damn, I’d tap that”? Do you want to snuggle with a Sasquatch? Do you just wish you could find yourself a GF with more eyes? Well, have we got the app for you. Creature Comforts lets you do all this and more. A choose-your-own-adventure game where you can smooch beasts, marry Mothman, and ignore the outside world. It’s seriously all I want. And, if you enter the code cryptwins— that’s the name of the podcast you’re listening to, no capital letters, when you download the app, then it’s only 99 cents to play without ads. Which, trust me ghouls, is worth it. I don’t want anything interrupting my cut scene with the most stunning eyes in West Virginia.

JOEL: Don't forget that scuba diving date with Nessie! Or, or...that half-day hike with Bigfoot. —he's laughing again smh— There's a reason Jade does the ad reads and not me. But, I can tell you that Mothman is sure to sweep you off your feet. And it's not just because he can fly.

JADE: It’s the —a pause for finger snapping— alliteration for me. But that’s Creature Comforts, exactly how you think you’d spell it, don’t ask us ‘cause we’re dyslexic, and cryptwins, like the name of this podcast. Tweet us @cryptwins to let us know how far along you are, who you’re pursuing, and what mysteries you unlock about their backstories. Now... I think it’s time for a timeline, just to get us sorted out, what do you think, Joel?

JOEL: Personally, I'm still tryin' to land a date with the Creature from the Black Lagoon. I guess we'll see what happens. Aw heck yeah! Give us a timeline, give us the dirt. — a laugh — Give the people what they want!

JADE: Okay — the shuffling of paper is heard once more — We start in September: @majored goes off the grid after posting a creepy picture of himself in a weird outfit in a spooky basement. This is around the same time that the Scarlet Surfer was in NYC for fashion week, which @majored accompanied him to, meaning that it isn’t entirely out of the question for him to still be in New York. Also on social media at this time is @devinitely and @loganvance also both is cowboy outfits, though the creepy basement is absent from both of them.

JOEL: I guess September isn't too early for weird Halloween stuff to start? What with the spooky basement and everything. Right? And everyone loves a cowboy moment— or have cowboys become the new clown? I heard there was a clown renaissance and people like them now? I don't really know where we stand on the whole clown— what?

JADE: I see our next hot debate. Cowboys: Hot or not? Personally, I liked cow print, but I can see cowboys going out soon. Once they reach killer clown status is when it’ll be ideal for me.

JOEL: Personally, I vote hot. And uhhh, not to kinkshame you Jay, but killer clowns are a no from me.

JADE: [tsks] Kinkshamed, by my own brother no less.

JOEL: [a loud laugh] You know I'm just kidding. No kinkshaking, ya heard? I'd literally let the Jersey Devil step on me so. To each their own.

JADE: [snorting] Um, gross.

JADE: Now to October: There is a production of Rocky Horror, a cast photo is uploaded to @elidrising, the account of @devinitely’s boyfriend. This places not only @devinitely and @loganvance in Montauk, but it also places @crispyboiz and @_kllledbycain in Montauk too. These are two of the people that are suspected to belong in the video by @ime.are, in which (suspected) @_kllledbycain, dressed as Kakashi Hatake attacked @majored, only to be torn apart by good citizen @crispyboiz. This video is the first that we’ve seen of @majored since his last post, and he offers nothing in response to it.

JOEL: Okay. Okay. Now, you know I love a good shadow-cast of Rocky Horror. I've always wanted to play Frank. I would rock that part. Am I wrong? —he laughs— But okay, that's - count 'em - three influencers in one place? If @elidrising is there, we can assume @devinitely is too because she was in the same location as, uh, whatshername? Logan? And that's the same location as @ime.are. Who took the video of  Kakashi kicking @majored's ass. @_kllledbycain— more like killedbyKakashi, eh? Seriously why are all these people together?

JOEL: [as an afterthought] It's gotta be a cult.

JADE: November to December: Nothing happens with @majored, @ime.are also offers nothing except for quote unquote “#teamkakashi”, which is funny because they never tagged Kakashi, but anyways. Upon deeper inspection, there are videos on their Twitter from last May, of people in a fighting ring. And then people fighting on a lake? But the fighting ring looks super dangerous and I dunno, like you said, cult-y? Fight-club-y? Call it what you will. In any case, we are led to believe that this fighting has been going on for some time in the background.

JOEL: Okay, come on. That’s definitely a cult. I’ve seen the movie, can confirm. — he groans— Literally what is an Italian astrologer doing there? Wait, wait, wait. Montauk? You said Montauk. Montauk, as in on Long Island. As in like —he drops his voice to a stage-whisper— the part of Long Island that peeps believe to be the site of a government cover-up involving kidnapping, mind control, and time travel? The part that inspired Stranger Things? That Montauk? Snap. I can’t believe I didn’t put two and two together sooner. Jade, Jade. What if this is, I don’t know, like, MKUltra 2.0?

JADE: Yes, yes that Montauk, I’m glad you picked up on that. Look, I’m not saying that it’s an influencer’s-only thing, but I am saying that some might be in the area, and maybe involved. At the same time throughout all of this, we have a culmination of more influencers seeming to know this network of people. @gaborealis, an Italian astrologer, is seen in pictures of @sleepyfinch, who was also in the production of Rocky Horror, and has pictures with @crispyboiz and, god, this name is a freaking nightmare, @_kllledbycain. Not to mention this guy has many pictures of weird… family members? Who sometimes look alike? Okay, but seriously, @kodakola and @sonofpeter, how is your hair not straw at this point? Is it wigs? I think my hair would simply fall out. And y’all using Insta filters or what, cause… I’m not gonna get into it, let’s keep going.

JOEL: Maybe they're makeup vloggers or something. Gotta change up the look for views, right? Don't forget to like, comment, subscribe and uhhhh, smash that follow button— or whatever YouTubers say. —he laughs— Okay but seriously, yeah. @sonofpeter, @kodakola, whatever you two are doing to your hair, let me know because I'm trying to bleach my hair and dye it bright purple without it falling out. And since we're doing it at our next stop, well, your advice will probably be too late. But still, what are your secrets? Is it...clones?

JADE: Joel! —she’s laughing again.— Timeline and then theories. —she clears her throat— After that long silence, a Tweet emerges. January 8th. "Can’t believe @majored SPAT on me and called me a C-Blank-Blank-T when he checked into @SDFamilyMotel last night”. This places Major across the country from where we believed him to be, but acting so strangely that one must wonder… was that really him? Or was it someone that just looked like him? Or was it a cry for help? Nothing’s been heard since from @majored, which I guess… leads us to our theories. —a pause— You were saying… clones, Joel?

JOEL: Sheeeeesh, this is not @majored's year. I gotta say, this sounds totally different from the vibe that this guy used to put out on his social media. Obviously Instagram is fake blah blah blah, you know the spiel, but like. Damn. He spit on them? —a pause as he considers what his sibling has said— You know....I think that's a really good point. Was that even the real him? Will the real Ed Major please stand up?

JADE: I know. It just seems out of character, and terrible for a reputation, but it also would make sense if... One, this is a fake @majored, meant to stir up controversy before he goes underground again. And with an action like spitting on someone and calling them a name like that? Who cares what the dude does after that? Unfollowed, cancelled, whatever. And why would this guy want to go underground, well, I'm glad you're so interested. Well, the official Cryptwins theory is that maybe... just maybe, the crazy, government cover-up Montauk that we all know and love isn't that far from truth. We see that they have means of covering up shadows —she lets out a laugh— and people whose faces just change? And who else is there, @spencerkeahi, someone who explains rehabilitation, maybe someone who has experience helping people get used to being a clone? @ime.are, a nurse who enjoys taking videos of people fighting? It all adds up, people!

JOEL: Yeah, seriously. With the real @majored MIA, there would be no one to combat the backlash from this supposed...clone? Imposter? And maybe that’s what they want. Looks like Montauk isn’t the ideal vacation spot anymore, huh? Even if their seaside cabins are super chill and homey. But I digress. Something sinister is going on. Something bigger than we can even imagine. A secret underground facility that’s...cloning influencers? Training them? Your guess is as good as mine. And that’s why we’re on this road trip, isn’t that right Jade? To get some answers?

JADE: Exactly. —it sounds as though she is holding back a laugh or a cough.— Cross country roadtrip in which we explore different topics like this one, and on the way, we'll document our progress and any spooky encounters. Check out our insta, @cryptwins to get all the updates, and consider hitting us up on Patreon if you want us to be able to afford the gas to get all the way to the east coast.

JOEL: I’ll be posting behind the scenes content in the “ROADTRIP” highlight on my Insta throughout the trip so be sure to check my stories. You might get lucky and find some special codes for Creature Comforts but, hey. You didn’t hear it from me. -he laughs and there’s the distinct sound of a bag of chips being opened- What Jade meant to say is gas and snack money. So yeah, go go go! Check out the Patreon! We might even do a giveaway at the end of our trip, get you guys some cool souvenirs we pick up on our travels. Not a bad idea, eh?

JADE: Joel, my ears are literally bleeding right now. Thanks. Anyway, our second theory will also be exclusive to our Patrons, so be sure to get the full video there. Cryptwins... out...

Her voice fades out and the music from the beginning fades in, takes over, and plays until the end of the track.

[readerinsertfanfiction]

I wanted to know if you could do a kakashi x civilian reader (with fetus team 7) where the reader and kakashi used to date as kids but kakashi (after rin and minato and all that) broke up with the reader but was kinda mean about it (he wanted her to move on because he was scared of hurting her). And team 7 finds out and tries to hook them two together because they still like eachother (but the reader is hella mad and stubborn). This is all pre shippuden btw.

That’s rather specific and a lot to cramp in. I will see what I can do. However, as I always do with requests, I try to take my own liberty, so I will take and leave what I need to write. 

Fandom: Naruto

Character: Kakashi Hatake

Despite being worlds apart the two of you were only physically separated by two front doors right next to each other. It was only natural that the two of you knew of the other, often looking after one another in a world that had forced you into loneliness much too early in life. It was funny how two lives, so different from one another, could walk so parallel.

Perhaps it was that corresponding time and life that pulled the two of you together. Orphaned much too young, left to your own devices much too soon. Despite being a mere civilian you understood the pain in which Kakashi found himself, as he understood your loneliness in life. However, differences were bound to arise as you grew up.

Undeniable was the genius that Kakashi harboured, the talent he had for the way of the ninja, the strength he mustered to go on and fight the battles from within the shadows. A civilian like you couldn’t tip to the life or the adrenaline that his life provided, the distraction to his mind. Where you found peace and a place within your own daily life, Kakashi found his on the field, in the bloodbath that had condemned so many.

“I can’t spend my time playing in your little fantasies, or worry over your fragile civilian existence.”

The words had cut cruelly deep, but it illustrated well what his life had been like apart from you. Where you had only heard of the war, he had been in the midst of it. Where you could leisurely explore your path, find your way and settle for an illustrious peace, Kakashi knew that he was the footman that provide. You knew very well that the words he had said were only meant to scare you, to shake you. Later on you would come to understand that it was merely to protect you, to help you.

“Long time no see, [Name],” he said almost too casually, his eyes lazily scanning you over, taking in every change that you had gone through in the time that the two of you had spent apart. Years, years it had been, years in which you had brewed in contemplation, gained new insights and understandings, matured, and ultimately reached a point of sympathy.

“Has it?” you responded, a smile plastered on your lips. Sympathy did not mean to forgive, you had learnt, and despite all of your compassion you could not find it within yourself to allow this man to reach close once more. “I hadn’t noticed,” you lied, though you would never admit such to him.

“Who tha?” a blond next to the jounin asked, his goggles reminding you of a certain friend that you hadn’t seen around in a long while. The set of clear blue eyes and bright blond hair gave you an even bigger whiplash of people you hadn’t seen in a long while.

“[Name], as Kakashi already said,” you responded before giving the infamous copycat a chance. “Kakashi and I were neighbours back in our childhood,” you filled in the gaps with a shrug.

“Huh, so even he was young once,” the boy mused to which you grimaced. Despite not being involved in his world you had a general idea of what Kakashi’s life has been like ever since your fall-out, what with him being a local celebrity and all.

“Naruto, not? Number one troublemaker,” you teased the boy, earning wide eyes of surprise before his eyes turned into deep squints as he scratched his head at you.

“I’m still not sure if I should know you,” he admitted honestly, earning a hit over his head by a certain pink-haired girl.

“I’m so sorry for Naruto. I’m Sakura, and the boy over there is Sasuke, we are Kakashi’s students,” the girl smiled up at you cutely, green eyes scanning you over as well as she dug through her memory.

Behind there was another boy, dark and brooding, reminding you of the man Kakashi had been before. He as well seemed to scrutinise you, eyes inconspicuously scanning you over for any sign on whether you were a fellow ninja or not.

“How adorable,” was your only comment, trying not to let your ire between Kakashi and you extend towards the three innocent lives in front of you. “No offense taken, I’m not a ninja anyway,” you quickly addressed their worries, the relief in their eyes telling as they realised that there was no need to recall you, yet.

“[Name] has been out of Konoha for a while, studying all sorts of secrets to assist the hokage and the council,” Kakashi explained the rest, earning a look from your side and drawing the awe from the other three.

“You have been paying attention, I see,” you faked yet another smile, unsure whether you should actually be surprised that Kakashi had been keeping tabs on you. In hindsight it seemed almost natural.

“Heartwarming, as always,” you clipped before waving the group off. “Don’t let me, a mere civilian, hold you up,” you grimaced before retreating.

“What was that about?” Naruto scratched his head once more, confused over the hostility that you seemed to express towards his teacher. A fact that confused the rest of the team as well, who couldn’t help but feel themselves be piqued in their interest.

The answer came in the form of Might Guy, brightly smiling as he was quick to recall something that had passed so long ago.

“[Name]!” he exclaimed as the students stood in front of him, eagerly coaxing out the answers from the man. “Ah, yes, [Name],” he shook his head as he crossed his arms, seemingly sinking into thoughts before realising that Team 7 was still staring up at him, unimpressed.

“All I really know is that [Name] and Kakashi dated for a bit when they were children,” Guy admits, not thinking too much of the statement. “I don’t know what pulled them apart, but suddenly [Name] disappeared from Kakashi’s life,” he followed after some more prodding from Sakura as he let go of a sigh.

“Ah, youthful love!” Guy suddenly exclaimed, his fists balling as he rose them up into the air. “I bet that Kakashi is so over the moon with [Name]’s return, I must challenge him to another bet!”

And with that the man disappeared into the horizon, searching for his eternal rival.

Team 7 wouldn’t be the Team 7 that Kakashi led if Guy’s exclamation didn’t lead to shenanigans.

“[Name]!” Sakura ran up to you, an arm waving over her head as she tried to catch your attention. “Oh, thank heavens I found you, I really, really need your help,” the female pitched, her eyes beaming at you in a way that you found it difficult to refuse.

“What is it?” you carefully tried, not liking the glimmer in her expression one bit as she dragged you off, surprising you with the amount of strength her body carried. Ninja were definitely of another calibre, you found.

“Well, you see, it involves Kakashi-sensei,” she started, earning a firm halt from you, your heels planting itself into the soil as you shrugged the female off.

“If it involves Kakashi I don’t want any part of it,” you spoke, your voice firmer than you had intended as you quickly let go of your breath. “I- It is complicated between the two of us,” you mumbled upon the questioning look of the girl. “I doubt he would want me to interfere either,” you scoffed, guilt building up within you as you watched Sakura’s expression drop further.

“Ah,” Sakura let go of a breath, her expression turning apologetic as she let go of a sigh. “I suppose you wouldn’t want us to pry?” she questioned in a small voice to which you grimaced painfully.

“You guys are good kids and don’t deserve to be sandwiched between whatever Kakashi and I had,” you shrugged, hand ruffling through the pink tresses of the young teen. “Don’t worry your pretty head. It is a story that deserves no attention,” you reassured the female before heading off into your original direction once more.

The boys didn’t have much luck either from their side.

“I doubt [Name] wants anything to do with me,” their teacher had grimaced at them as soon as he figured out their plans. It was rare for Kakashi to be so straightforward, but it had been a clear signal from his side as well.

“Obviously they still think of one another,” Sakura exclaimed, her arms thrown up into the air as she sat down exasperated. Sasuke kept to himself as Naruto just nodded furiously along.

“That just means we will have to force them together!” the blond determined, earning a look from his team members, a devilish glint in his eyes. “Leave it to the number one troublemaker!”

You were suspicious, to say the least. When Team 7 appeared in front of you, claiming that they wanted to get to know you better, you had thought nothing much of it and agreed. However, the deeper they led you into the forest, the further they dragged you into --for you-- uncharted territory without any explanation, the more you started to wonder.

“So, what exactly is it that you guys wanted to show me?” you questioned the three teens, earning only an exchange of eyes between the students before they grimaced at you.

“Oh, you know, a nice picnic in the woods,” Sakura spoke, obviously lying straight through her teeth. You rose a brow, leaving the subject alone. You trusted the three genin enough to be confident that there was no harm to come.

However, when the trees above you rustled you suddenly found that the three teens had disappeared, leaving you all alone in the forest.

“Hello?” you called out, worried as you turned and turned, wondering where the three of them had headed. “Sakura?” you tried, knowing that the girl was the most sympathetic of the bunch. “Naruto?” you called, hoping that the troublemaker would find any hilarity in your rising worry. “Sasuke?” you tried at last, though you didn’t expect much if this went all within the plans of the team.

Again the leaves rustled as you clenched your fists together, worry spiraling down as your mind mulled over all of the reasons why the ninja had left you behind.

“I don’t like this trip or this joke,” you spoke firmly, not liking the silence that followed after.

When a shadow came from out of the bushes you were quick to react, a stone flying into the direction of the moving shade as you scrambled around for another stone to throw. All of which were evaded with deft skill before a hand grabbed your wrist, stopping your attack.

“[Name],” Kakashi breathed, his mask pulled up to reveal the eye he had received from the friend he had lost so soon before cutting you off.

Your chest was heaving, your breath ragged as you looked the other into his eyes, panic slowly replacing itself for something of distaste as you tried to squirm yourself out of Kakashi’s hold.

“What are you doing here?” you questioned, letting the stone fall between you as you pulled back your hand. “Where are your students?”

You didn’t mean to sound cold, or perhaps you did, still angry at the cruelty in which he had made the decision to cut you off.

“They came to me, claiming that you were in danger,” Kakashi simply answered, his hand rubbing the back of his head as he took a step away from you. “I know you don’t want to see me, but these forests are dangerous and--”

Raising your hand you cut the man off, your eyes closed as you tried to work away the headache that was slowly crawling up. “Kakashi,” you spoke sharply, a deep sigh following after as you exhaled deeply. “How much longer are you going to look down on me?” you snapped, a pain welling up as you shook your head.

“No, nevermind. Forget it. Let’s just go back,” you said, waving off any of the tension that there was, ignoring the look in the eye of the other.

Both of you had been young, forced to grow up too fast in a world set to be cruel. There was little more to say than that whatever had been before would take time to grow back, for understanding was easily gained, but forgiveness needed to be chosen, and neither of you had decided to forgive the other, or yourself.

“Kakashi,” you called, forcing the man in front of you to turn around, his mask back in place once more to cover his scarred eye, and his expression back to its apparent apathy.

“Thank you,” you mumbled, having to force the words beyond your lips as you clenched and released your fists. “For coming, I mean. And worrying,” you added, feeling the need to clarify the situation.

The copycat just stared at you, eyes once more going over your features, as if trying to find the differences between the you at present, and the one from his memories.

“For you, always,” he responded, the last word lingering on between the two of you.

Though, perhaps the decision could start by taking one step at a time.