#a meal that your mom made when you were a child and you get nostalgic for

[hidden-otaku-stuff]

Lockscreens (ch. 1)

tw: Like one swear word

Word count: 2.8k

Genre: Angst, fluff

All trigger warnings will be tagged and posted at the beginning of each chapter! This will have *manga spoilers*

Pairings: Bokuto x fem!reader, Kuroo x fem!reader

Summary: Nearly four years ago, Bokuto left the love of his life for volleyball. Despite all the time, he’s still very much in love with her. He comes home to a major surprise leaving him wondering…What happened while he was gone?

Masterlist | next

ch. 1: The Return (Present)

Bokuto stepped off of the bus, eagerly looking around at the familiar sight. He was finally back where he belonged. Of course, he’d visited Tokyo since he'd left, but never for more than a day or two. It had only taken him three years, seven months, and twenty-six days to get back. “Oi, Bokkun!” Bokuto turned, facing the setter. “Where ya headed?”

“Just some places here and there.” With that, he spun on his heel and darted away.

“That was fast.” Meian commented, getting off the bus only to see his team-mate’s back. He clapped, addressing the rest of the team, “get your bags, we’re going to go check into the hotel. You’re all free until warm-ups at 3!” 

A few streets away, Bokuto spied the familiar yellow sign of his favorite bakery. His heart warmed as he stepped in, closing his eyes as the nostalgic scent of bread filled him. He’d visited other bakeries, seen new things, but nothing beat nostalgia. Bokuto couldn’t remember the first time he had been there, but he always remembered visiting here with Akaashi and (Name) on their free days. Quickly, he placed an order for some data andagi, anpan, and melonpan. A child’s cry distracted him as he stepped away from the counter, pocketing his wallet. Golden eyes widened at the sight. “Kuroo?” 

The male was currently bent over, wiping chocolate off a child’s face. At the sound of his name, he looked up to make eye-contact with the ace. “Bokuto?” As he stood up, Bokuto made his way over to him. “Oh wow, you’re back!” Kuroo greeted him, throwing an arm around the professional volleyball player and pulling him into his side, the other hand clasped onto the child’s shoulder.

Bokuto pulled away, punching the former middle blocker in the shoulder. “You didn’t tell me you had a kid!” He bent down, “hi! I’m Bokuto.” 

The child waved with pudgy hands, fingers outreached in a grabbing motion towards Bokuto’s hair as his golden eyes glowed. “Ah, sorry, he must be interested in your hair.” Kuroo’s hyena laugh filled the bakery. “He always messes with Kenma’s hair whenever we visit him, isn’t that right, little one?” Bokuto smiled, leaning his head down more so that the child could run his fingers through it. “Introduce yourself, just like how Mom taught you.”

“I’m Kuroo Hikori!” Hikori’s eyes squinted as a wide smile took up his features. A bit of chocolate was still smeared in the corner of his mouth.

“He’s a handsome little rascal,” Bokuto laughed, standing back up to ruffle Hikori’s (h/c) hair. “How old is he?”

“He definitely takes after his mom.  He’s three, he’ll be four in a few weeks.” Kuroo’s eyes flickered for a moment before his face became more serious, hoisting Hikori onto his hip. “I didn’t know you were back in Tokyo.”

Bokuto nodded aggressively, hair flowing with the movement. “We have a game today! I’ll be back for a month or so.” Bokuto’s order was called. “Say, have you seen—” Bokuto was interrupted by a ringing phone.

“Oh shoot, I gotta go! Hikori has a doctor’s appointment and I’m running late.” With an apologetic smile, Kuroo picked up his bag of pastries and headed out the door. A final wave from both Kuroos before he disappeared from sight. Bokuto sighed. He hadn’t talked to her in years. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to. There was nothing more that he wanted than to be with her. No...that was a lie. He had chosen volleyball over her. Bokuto let out an elongated sigh. His order was called again, and he picked it up, heading back to the hotel.

****

“Why does Bokkun look so depressed?” Atsumu bounced the volleyball, glancing at the wing-spiker. Hinata shrugged, stretching. Sakusa glanced over before he continued his own stretches. Bokuto’s hair was drooping, shoulders hunched over as he half-heartedly bit into a bun. 

“Bokuto! You better not be eating that right now, we’re supposed to be warming up,” Meian scowled as he stood in front of the wing-spiker. Bokuto just made a depressed noise as he shoved the rest of the bun into his mouth. Meian took a seat beside him, grabbing the rest of the pastries and putting it outside his reach. “What’s going on?” 

“Sometimes I wonder if going pro was worth it.” Bokuto muttered, looking down at his hands. Calluses decorated them, representing the years of hard work he’s put into it.

“You love volleyball right?” A half-hearted grunt. “Why are you feeling this way?”

Bokuto sighed, eyes meeting his captain’s. “I left the love of my life to play volleyball.”

“(Name)?” Hinata came over now, continuing his stretches in front of the bench. Another distressed noise. “Are you guys still together?” 

Bokuto’s face flushed as he squeezed his eyes shut. “I ghosted her after the first month of training.” 

“Why would you do that?” Sakusa came over, still standing a bit far from the group. Bokuto just shrugged.

“I was just always so busy with my training that it got harder and harder to keep in contact so I just...stopped trying.” 

“I heard that she’s still in Tokyo! Maybe you can meet up with her sometime,” Hinata offered. 

“What if she doesn’t want to see me?” Bokuto whispered, “It’s been so long now.”  

“Well, there’s nothing you can do about that.” Meian clapped a hand over his shoulder. “Win the match today and get your girl back. We have a month break after this match so you can spend time here anyways.” He pushed Bokuto off the bench. “Go do your stretching, and don’t text her until we finish this match.” With a deep sigh, Bokuto went through the motions. Hinata crouched in front of him as Bokuto stretched.

“(Name) always loved you,” Hinata reminded the ace. “Even before you guys got together. Everyone could tell. If it’s still the same, then she’ll give you a second chance.” With that, Hinata ran off to bother Atsumu. 

“(Nickname), (Nickname), (Nickname)!” Bokuto turned, eyes sparkling as he waved to the manager. She was standing beside the Fukurodani managers, chatting. At his voice, she turned to him, sending him a little wave. “Did you see that?” He bounced, pointing at the ball on the other side.

“Nice kill!” (Name) cheered, her hands cupping her mouth so that her voice carried.

“Bokuto-san, we’re in the middle of the game.”

“Oh right!” Bokuto waved again at the managers. “Watch this!”

“I’ll block you out,” Kuroo smirked, facing Bokuto across the net. It was the annual summer training camp during their third year with Nekoma and Fukurodani facing each other. 

“Akaashi! Give me another one,” Bokuto called over his shoulder, flexing his shoulders as gold eyes met hazel. 

After they won, he scampered over to the girl, scooping her into his arms as he swung her around. (Name) dropped her clipboard in favor of wrapping her arms around his neck. “Kou!” She squealed, drawing the attention of the other teams. Akaashi rolled his eyes, a small smile playing on his face. Konoha smirked, nudging their team-mates as they drank their water and wiped their sweat off. The Nekoma boys had left to do their penalty run, with Kuroo throwing the couple one last glance before leading them out.

“Why doesn’t she come to more of our games?” Konoha whispered to Akaashi.

“Well, she is the manager of a different team,” Akaashi pointed out as they watched the pair of friends. Bokuto had placed her down with her back against his chest; his arms were tightly wound around her waist. Her hands rested on top of his, their fingers intertwined. Bokuto’s face nuzzled into her neck causing redness to creep up on both of their faces and necks. The pair chatted with the Fukurodani managers as they all complimented and encouraged him. 

“Is Bokuto-san dating (Name)-san?” Hinata crept over to the group, looking between Akaashi and the two.

“No, they’re just really close friends,” Akaashi corrected, his eyes glinting with amusement.

“Oh really? They look so in love.” Hinata commented, brown eyes focused on the ace. Bokuto’s head was thrown back in laughter. One of her hands crept up to pat his face as she talked to Kaori. “He’s always looking for her and she’s always watching him, even when Nekoma’s playing the other teams.” 

Konoha snickered. “Yeah, and she always gives him extra food at meals. They might as well be dating.” 

“It’s been like that for years, if I recall correctly,” Akaashi pointed out. “They’ll get there,” He mused as he played with his fingers. “At their own pace.” 

****

It was a hard-earned win. Sweat dripped down all of their foreheads as they made their way into the locker room. “Let’s go get some yakiniku!” Sakusa shuddered at the prospect of getting more filthy but agreed.

Bokuto’s eyes sparkled. “I know a great place!” After the team had showered and changed, they took the bus to the restaurant. The team made their way inside, having called for a table in advance. Bokuto stood in front of it, remembering the last time he had been there. 

“Bokuto-san, you have to eat.” Akaashi sat directly in front of the ace, who had his head on the table. It had taken Konoha and Yukie to drag their downtrodden captain into the restaurant and forcibly seat him. Akaashi had hoped that the prospect of yakiniku - Bokuto’s favorite food - would be enough to bring him out of his emo-mode, but it was easily apparent that it wasn’t. He pinched his nose, pulling out his phone as he called for reinforcements. Akaashi glanced at the other phone he held while he listened to the phone ringing. On the screen stared back a photo of (Name) and Bokuto. They were both wearing yukatas and holding up matching candy apples. In her arms was a plush owl. Wide smiles breached their faces. 

“Hello (Name)-san, I’m sorry to bother you. Are you busy right now?”

“I just finished my exam, what’s up?” 

Akaashi sighed, eyeing his captain. “We lost the match earlier.”

“I see. How’s Kou?”

“Do you mind stopping by?” 

She hummed, walking off-campus. “Of course. Is it at the usual?”

“Yes. Thank you so much (Name)-san.” 

“I’ll see you soon, Akaashi. Just keep taking care of him for me, okay?” 

“(Name)-san will be here soon,” Akaashi whispered to Yukie, slipping his phone back into his bag. “Bokuto-san, we’re going to order now. I’ll get you your favorite, okay?” Bokuto let out a half-hearted sigh, nodding while letting his face press harder into the table. The team eyed each other. Just as the food arrived, the door opened to reveal (Name). Akaashi let out a sigh of relief, standing up and waving her over. “(Name)-san!” 

At the sound of her name, Bokuto’s head jerked up, turning to the girl. “(Nickname)! What are you doing here?” 

“Hey Kou,” she sent him a soft smile, sliding into the seat besides him. She grabbed one of his hands. “So what is this I hear about you not wanting to eat?” 

Bokuto buried his face into her shoulder, feeling her hand rub her back. “I don’t wanna.”

“But it’s yakiniku, your favorite,” she murmured, pressing a kiss to his head. “C’mon Kou, the sooner you eat, the sooner your muscles can repair themselves and you can get back to practicing if that’s what you want.” Her eyes met Akaashi, who sent her a curt nod. “You’re the best ace out there, Kou. One point, one game, won’t change that.” 

Bokuto raised his head, eyes glistening. “You’re right.” He beamed at his team-mates. “Let’s eat!” He eagerly loaded his plate, taking a bite out of the meat. Bokuto swallowed, looking at the girl. “Thanks for coming.”

(Name) laughed softly, gently pushing his hair away from his face. “Sorry I missed the match, but you know I’ll always be here for you no matter what. I really care about you.”

With a deep sigh, he wandered in only to hear that all-too familiar laugh. His head swung around, spotting Kuroo seated at a table along with Hikori. “Hey Kuroo! Fancy seeing you again.” Bokuto made his way over, elbowing Kuroo in the shoulder. Kuroo’s eyes widened. His tongue darted out to moisten his lips. 

“Well hello to you too, you loud owl.” 

Bokuto turned his attention to Hikori, a bright smile on his face. “Hello again Hikori! What a coincidence to see you here again.” Hikori waved to the other male.

“Yes, a coincidence,” he heard Kuroo whisper under his breath. 

“You never mentioned who your wife was, is she here? I wanna meet the woman who stole your heart,” Bokuto bounced eagerly. A loud noise distracted the owl as the pair both turned to the MSBY table. His eyes widened, jaw dropping. Standing there being embraced by Hinata was her. Atsumu was standing beside them. Forgetting about the conversation he was having, his feet were drawn to her. “(Name)?” At the sound of his voice, she froze, looking over at him.

“Koutarou!” Hinata let her go at this point, taking a step back to stand with Atsumu. Atsumu looked slightly suspicious, whereas the orange-headed male quivered with excitement. Bokuto stopped a few paces from her, hands outstretched in a hug before he clasped them together and brought them to his chest.

“What...what are you doing here?” 

A soft smile made its way onto her face. “I’m just getting dinner with Tetsu.”

“Tetsu?” The name felt foreign, his mouth drying at it. “Are you guys…” A shy nod as she tucked her hair behind her ear. The glitter of gold on her finger caught his eyes.

“The guys were just telling me about the match. Sounds like you’re killing it, Kou.” She waved at Kuroo, holding a finger up. Kuroo returned the wave, waiting patiently at the door. “Anyways, I have to go. It was nice seeing you again Hinata-kun, Atsumu-kun! Feel free to stop by the clinic for some adjustments! Have fun.” She hugged Bokuto, the male freezing at her touch. “I’ll see you later, Kou.” With that, she took her leave.

Atsumu snorts, sitting down. “Isn’t that the (Name) you used to date?” Bokuto slowly slid into a seat, nodding slightly as his legs bounced anxiously.

A low whistle. “Damn, she ditched ya for yer best friend? How cold.” At that, Bokuto shot up and out of the restaurant.

“(Name)!” 

At this point, she was already down the street, holding hands with Kuroo. She glanced over her shoulder and whispered something to Kuroo, pressing soft lips to his cheek. Kuroo sighed, nodding as he relinquished his grip on his wife. “What’s up?” 

“I didn’t know you and Kuroo started seeing each other.”

She shifted uncomfortably. “Well, after being ghosted for awhile, I got tired of waiting. I didn’t see a reason to tell you.” He gulped, face darkening as the light in his eyes dimmed. “I figured you were off doing bigger and better things, and I wanted you to have your freedom to do so.” A soft smile hid the water that was collecting in her eyes. 

“I’m..I’m sorry.” She waved it off. Her mouth opened, as if to say more, only to be interrupted with the cry of her child. With a hastily muttered goodbye, she jogged back to rejoin Kuroo and Hikori. Hikori’s hands reached out to you, pouting and calling ‘Mama’ until she scooped him up. Kuroo wrapped an arm around her waist, kissing her forehead as they walked off together. Bokuto retreated back into the restaurant, deflating. 

Atsumu waved a phone in his face. “Looks like they’ve been together for awhile.” The setter had pulled up her Instagram page. Bokuto pushed the phone away, grumbling. Under different circumstances, Atsumu would’ve teased Bokuto, but upon seeing how broken the wing-spiker was, he bit his tongue and the team half-heartedly enjoyed their celebratory dinner. After a few hours and several pitchers of beer later, Bokuto was being supported by Meian and Atsumu. “Ya didn’t hafta get shit-faced,” the setter scowled, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand as they dropped Bokuto unceremoniously onto his hotel bed.

Bokuto groaned, pulling his phone out to send one final text before his eyes shuttered close, phone still in hand. “Can we talk?” 

Across the city, a lock-screen lit up. Under the text notification, a photo of Kuroo, Hikori, and (Name) lit up. Kuroo had Hikori in his lap, taking a selfie as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Kuroo’s lips were pressed to her cheek.

A/N: Hikori means ‘abundant joy’! This story will feature a lot of flashbacks and time-skips. If you’re confused, please let me know! Taglist: @toaster-stick @thatartsybitch @brazil-hinata @sawamooora @lastminaddition 

Please message me or send me an ask if you’d like to be added to the taglist! 💞

[mmvalentine]

Home is Where You Are pt 2 | Feysand

Girl next door AU. Part 1 Part 3

Of course she had a fiancé. Feyre was talented, sweet, gorgeous, and did this really cool thing with the mud pies where she sprinkled dry dirt on top like cocoa. Okay, that last one was a childhood memory but Rhys hadn't seen her since they were kids. It was a very confusing moment for him.

"Nice to meet you," he said smoothly, extending a hand. He pushed down on the swell of jealousy that rose through him. It was ridiculous really, he hadn't seen the girl in a decade and some part of his animal brain thought it was allowed to be jealous. Surely he was better than that.

"Still live on Velaris street, do you?" Tamlin asked. His had was clammy when he shook Rhys'. "No, I moved out to the city some years ago," Rhys replied. He put his hands in his pockets. "Feyre invited me back."

"Rhys was always over," Feyre explained. She looked at him now, and the affection shining in her eyes made him forget to wonder why she had never told her fiancé about him. "His dad... wasn't great so he practically lived with us. I thought he might want to be here before we sold off the old place. Rhys is my oldest friend."

"Daddy issues, huh?" Tamlin said, in what Rhys had to imagine was an attempt at a sympathetic look. This did nothing for his first impression of the man. Feyre frowned at him, but Rhys just tilted his head to one side. "Do you know," Rhys mused, "I think even as a child Feyre had such a protective side to her, and I think that's why she loved me extra hard."

Tamlin glowered, and Rhys gave him a winning smile. Even as all the while the voice in his head whispered play nice, play nice.

"Why don't we go for lunch?" Feyre suggested. "I'm starving." "You're always starving," Tamlin said, rolling his eyes. "Lunch would be perfect," Rhys said. "We drove in, do you want a lift?" "Sure, thanks."

The three of them climbed into Tamlin's irritatingly red car to a diner not far from the old house. The neighbourhood wasn't bad, actually, it was just Rhys' attached memories that made it seem decrepit. He reminded himself that he had rather liked this diner, that Feyre's family had eaten here often and sometimes brought him with them. Particularly when Feyre's parents noticed he hadn't been eating very much.

A waitress came to take their order, and Rhys ordered a club sandwich. He looked at Feyre through one eye.

"Cheeseburger, no pickles, right?" He remembered this, because he had always been the one that ate said pickles after she picked them off. The sweetest grin started to spread over Feyre's face. But then Tamlin cut in.

"Actually," he said, "we adhere to a strict paleo diet. Well, some of us more strict than others." He nudged Feyre in the ribs, and turned to the waitress.

"We'll have two of the chicken caesar salad, with no dressing, and no cheese. Oh and no croutons."

Rhys stared. Feyre's face seemed to fall a little, but then she smiled at the waitress and handed back her menu.

The food came quickly, and Rhys' sandwich came with a side order of fries. Feyre's and Tamlin's meals looked, unsurprisingly, disappointing. Half way through, Tamlin asked for extra grilled chicken to add to his meal, and didn't offer any to Feyre. Rhys watched Feyre out of the corner of his eye. She had said she was starving.

"Hey," he said to her. "Can you help me with these fries? I'm full and I hate wasting food." "Sure," Feyre said brightly, and he shuffled them onto her plate where she practically inhaled them. "Babe," Tamlin said, aghast. "Come on, you had fries last week." He leaned in and spoke quietly to Feyre- but not so quietly that Rhys couldn't hear him. "Lay off the fried foods for a bit, huh?"

Feyre pushed him off. "Leave me alone, Tamlin," she said. "I'm selling my dead father's house. And I'm hungry."

Rhys concentrated on the remains of his sandwich. Good, he thought. That was more like the Feyre he knew. Had known.

After they were done, Tamlin got up to use the restroom, leaving Feyre and Rhys alone. Rhys couldn't help himself.

"That guy?" he barked with a laugh. "That's your fiancé? What are you doing with him Feyre?" "Hey don't be a dick," Feyre said, surprised. "You only just met him." "Yeah and I already know him. 'You had fries last week'? That sounds familar." Feyre's face twisted in anger. "Tamlin is not your father," she hissed. "He was my personal trainer when we met, I said I wanted to lose a few pounds, he's helping me keep on track." Rhys leaned back in the booth. "Oh so he met you as a professional, started a relationship with a client, and is still commenting on your eating as your partner. Yeah, that's much better."

Feyre opened her mouth, then snapped it shut. "You know what," she said. "It's been a very long time since we were friends." "Best friends. If I recall." "That's a childish term. I am not a child, and I certainly don't need you to come rescue me."

At that moment, Tamlin reappeared. "Are we ready to go?" he said. "Yes," Feyre replied curtly, and slid out from the bench. "You two go ahead," Rhys said, toying with his water glass. "I'll walk. It'll be good to revisit the old neighbourhood." "Fine," Feyre said. "Alright," Tamlin said, "how should we split the bill?" "I've got it," Rhys replied. "Fine," Feyre said again, and towed Tamlin out the door.

When they were gone, Rhys let his head drop back against the back of the seat, and closed his eyes. Idiot, idiot, idiot, he chanted to himself. He stood, paid for the food, and began the walk back to the house.

By the time Rhys reached their old address, he had calmed down enough to feel ashamed. He had not meant to sound so condescending, he had just been shocked that Tamlin was who Feyre had ended up with.

When he walked up to the house, the red car was nowhere to be seen. He opened the door, still unlocked.

"Feyre?" he called. "Here," her voice returned. Rhys walked through the house, gazing around himself as he did. It looked smaller than he remembered- although that was likely because he was taller. The Archerons had left so quickly that they hadn't bothered to take everything with them. The old furniture still remained, under now grey drop sheets.

Feyre was standing in the kitchen, with her hands braced on the island countertop. "Tamlin was called back to town for a work thing," she said. "Ah," Rhys said. "We were supposed to stay a few days and get things checked off before the funeral... but I can do it myself, I guess." She suddenly sounded very tired.

"Hey," Rhys said gently. She looked up at him, with those heart-stopping, stormy eyes. "I'm sorry about earlier." Feyre sighed. "It's okay." "It's not," Rhys said. "You were right. I don't know him, and I don't know you, really. I had no right to come in and make comments about your relationship." "No," Feyre said slowly. "You didn't." "I won't do it again," Rhys said. "And, I would love to get to know you. You know, as adults."

Feyre smiled. "I would like that too." She leaned her elbows against the counter top. "You're forgiven." She flashed a wicked grin. "Prick."

Rhys smiled. She had called him that when they were young- it was one of the first grown-up insults she had learned and took great delight in hurling it at him.

"So what do you want to do?" he asked. "I guess, we go through the house and find out what's in here." She wrinkled her nose. "I almost want a HAZMAT suit." Rhys laughed. "Let's open some windows," he said.

For the rest of the afternoon, they uncovered the Archeron's abandoned belongings. Some things were completely unrecognisable. Many of the things brought back memories, funny or happy or sad, and Rhys was warmed by the realisation that he had just as many memories here as Feyre did. Eventually, the sun started to go down, and of course there was no electricity in the house. They had been drinking water out of a tap in the neighbour's garden.

"Where are you staying?" Rhys asked her. "Well, here I guess." Rhys looked around himself, at ten years of dust and debris. "Is this... liveable?" "Probably not," Feyre said. "I think we might suffocate to death in our sleep. I thought about going back into town, but Tamlin's rushed off with the car. Where are you staying?" "Do you know, I never quite got that far." Rhys gave her a lopsided grin, embarrassed. The truth was, he had been so focused on making his way back to her that he hadn't even considered logistics like where he might sleep that night.

Feyre straightened up, and her eyes twinkled. "I've got an idea," she said.

An hour later, as it got dark in earnest, Rhys stomped down the last tent peg. The had muddled through the garage until they found the old camping gear, in surprisingly good nick.

Feyre lay down, and Rhys squeezed his broad frame in beside her. "Does it horrify you a bit that after ten years, these plastic nylon sleeping bags haven't degraded at all?' Rhys asked. "It does," Feyre agreed, "although I'm also thankful we have the option. That house is not fit for the living." "Well," said Rhys, "tomorrow we can spend the day cleaning. It'll be good as new." "Okay, deal!" Feyre said happily. They lay in silence for a moment.

"Do you know," Rhys said. "I'm pretty sure the last time we saw each other was in this very tent." Feyre laughed a husky, gorgeous laugh. "Oh I'm very aware. We were each others' first kiss."

Rhys rolled onto his side to look at her. "What's happened since then?" he asked. "What have you been doing for the last ten years?"

Feyre gave him an odd look, taken aback a little by the sudden intensity in his voice. Rhys didn't care. He had thought of her so many times through the years, but she had become some sort of distant, nostalgic memory.

Now she was here, he had to know. Everything.

Feyre rolled slowly to face him, and became serious. "What happened is my mom died," she said. "And my dad, he couldn't cope with it. He never recovered, and so I didn't know it at the time but I lost both my parents that day. We moved into some shitty rental, and then something would remind him of her and we moved again. He couldn't hold down a job, couldn't stay in one place. I think I haven't had a real home since I left here."

Her lovely eyes were filled with such sadness, it was all Rhys could do not to reach out and touch her face.

"Me neither," he said quietly. "Next door was never home for me, you know that. And after you guys left... after you were gone..." "Where's your father now?" Feyre asked. "Dead," Rhys said. "I'm sorry." "I'm not."

Feyre didn't respond. Rhys sighed. "I shouldn't say that about him." "He was a bastard," Feyre said. "He was, at that." Rhys said. Feyre rolled back to stare at the ceiling of the tent, and Rhys wanted so much to pull her back. But instead, he rolled over, too. He listened to her breathing in the dark, and for a moment, they could have been thirteen again. For a moment, it was as if no time at all had passed and he had his best friend back and they were home.

Then Feyre spoke.

"At least I've got Tamlin now," she said. “We just rent our apartment right now but in a few years we’ll buy a house, and then I’ll have a home again.”

And with that the moment was over.

****

Mm. This is not quite where I thought this would go, but let's embrace the angst for a hot minute and see where it goes.

Keep reading: Part 3

TAGLIST: @ghostlyrose2 @highladysith @stardelia @feysand-babies @tillyrubes10 @ratabrasileira

[aceademic]

Chapter 2 & 2.5 of Band on The Run

Feel free to bash me intensely. Here is Chapter 2 and Chapter 2.5 (mini chapter) from the one and only liz! Enjoy!

Chapter 2

“You see that one?” Mom whispered in my ear, pointing to the far east.

“Yeah,” I mumbled.

“That’s where your Dad is,” she said. I turned to look at her. She had long and flowy dirty blond hair and the most intricate hazel eyes I had ever seen. There was a sort of glint in them, nostalgic and sad but also . . . wistful. The way she looked then, it made me almost believe what she was saying. Almost.

I gave a small pause. Unsure. “Is that so?” I asked eventually. Pops had told me that the doctors said that Mom developed selective amnesia because when my Dad ran off on her, it was too hard for her to deal with. So now she’s delusional with the idea that our father was a man from space that had to go back to his home planet. She never gave a reason why, her answer to that question was always, ‘He’s not gone forever. He’ll come back. He always does.’

“Yeah,” Mom whispered. “And when he does we’ll take the car out to the fields and sing Brandy at the top of our damn --”

“Geddup!”

I jolted upward and blinked, realizing it was just a dream and I was not at home, but in fact, in a spaceship. My heart sunk to the very depths of my inner ocean of self-pity as I pulled on my jacket.

“Give me a minute!” I answered. I heard rustling and saw Peter climbing out of the small bed, yawning and rubbing his eyes. “Clean yourself up and meet me outside, okay?”

Peter nodded sleepily and I left the room, closing the door behind me. And there was standing Kraglin. He was wearing the exact same thing as yesterday and he look as fresh and awake as morning dew.

“Mornin’,” he said awkwardly.

“What’s going to be our orders?” I asked him, jumping straight to the point.

“Don’t know,” he shrugged. “You’ll have to find out yourself when we get to the hull.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be his second-in-command or whatever?” I asked dubiously.

“Just cause I’m his first mate don’t mean that he tells me everything,” he answered. “He’s a very private person.”

“I’m ready.”

Peter must have slithered his way to my side, because the door was now ajar, and Peter’s hair was slightly less mussy than it was before. I ruffled his hair anyways.

  I stared in amazement as we entered the hull. The walls had veins that pulsed an eerie, vivid red and the walls were a dark, shadowy grey. Chairs, consoles and neon green screens surrounded me. In the chairs were all different types of aliens talking in headsets and taping the consoles, speaking to each other in a language had never heard before. Alien technology scattered the room, and my gaze set upon the crowd of crew members standing by a window with a breathtaking view of the peace of space. They seemed to be staring, whispering and pointing at me and Peter, as if they had never seen a human before. Some frowned, some seemed curious, and some made me want to punch them repeatedly in the face – or faces, because apparently some aliens have two heads.

Kraglin led me to the back where everyone was, and kindly guided us to the back corner where we would get less weird looks. After a few more of the crew hurried in, I noticed Yondu, sitting on a big, comfy captain’s chair, staring down at us all.

“Everyone, meet your new crewmates, Avery and Peter Quill!” Yondu shouted, holding an arm out in our direction. Everyone turned to look at us. So much for being discreet.

“I thought we were giving them over --” a man started, but Yondu shushed him, very loudly might I add.

“I don’t want another word out of your mouth Horuz, or I’ll scrub it clean in the canteen,” Yondu hissed. Some of the men snickered and the other went immediately silent, looking absolutely furious. “If you don’t like how I run things around here, you can get your skinny ass up and leave, you hear?”

It seemed that either no one heard, or no one wanted to leave.

“Good.” A pause. “Gef, Yorker, I want you in the training room. You’re getting to fat for my liking. Retch, Halfnut, Scrotch, I want you on canteen duty. Oblo, Narblik, Huhtar and Tullk, I want you on hallway duty on deck 10 . . .”

The list continued, and as he called out names, people left the room to go to their assigned stations until it was just me, Peter and Kraglin.

“Kraglin, I want you to show them littles around the ship and when you’re done, I want them to go to Rof’in in the training room. He’ll know what to do.”

Kraglin nodded and led us out of the hull. “All right, let’s start with the tour. There are 10 decks in total. Right now, we’re on deck one, all the way at the bottom.”

He started show us around the first deck. We passed the brig, which was where I was kept when I was unconscious, and we went into the hold, muster station, and a small saloon. I made a mental note of what each room was and its purpose. We continually went up, going through the quarterdecks (two whole decks just for where the cabins are), the training room, the turret (which I have to admit was pretty cool), medbay, the promenade deck, the canteen, multiple saloons, the galley, the escape hatches and small bays holding random equipment and such. One oddly contained a whole assortment of mini figurines (most of which were broken).

As we made our way back to the hull, Peter’s stomach grumbled. Kraglin and I both looked at him. I had forgotten I was hungry. I had forgotten that we needed food. For the glorious bliss that was 1 hour, I had forgotten that I was kidnaped and that my head hurt and that my mother was dead and pretended that my good friend Kraglin was showing me around a spaceship. The fierce rage of fire that roared inside me returned along with a loud grumble of my stomach.

“We can stop by the canteen on our way back to the training room,” Kraglin offered. We both nodded hungrily, and I wondered what aliens ate. Probably not grilled cheese.

When we entered the canteen, it was mostly empty except for the people who were working there, cleaning dishes and mopping the floor. No one looked up. There were refrigerators nailed into the wall, full of silver packets and water bottles.

“We don’ get fresh food often, so we eat these,” Kraglin told us, opening a refrigerator door and pulling out 2 packets, turning them over to read something on the back. “Today’s Flicodian tentacles. Should have a similar taste to – what’s that meat thing you eat?”

“Chicken?” Peter asked. Kraglin shook his head.

“No, no, it started with a T.”

“Turkey?” I asked. Kraglin nodded. He walked over to some built in cabinets and pulled out two bowls, opening the packet and squeezing out what looked freeze-dried octopus tentacles. He went over to a nearby tap, and filled the bowls up, sticking them in what looked like some sort of microwave. When the timer beeped after a minute, he pulled the two bowls out, releasing a hearty aroma that did indeed smell a lot like turkey, and Peter and I found ourselves sitting at the long tables in the room, scarfing down the tentacles as if they were our last meal. Kraglin watched in amusement. I put down my fork.

“What?” I asked. He jumped in surprise, and suddenly the wall became very interesting.

“Nothing,” he mumbled. I shrugged, and continued to shove food down my throat, ad sat back happily when the last remnants of food were gone, and the bowl was empty. Back then, I didn’t notice the pink tint that haunted his cheeks.

  Chapter 2.5

Nebula kicked the punching bag. She kicked it again. Her father had given her another mission. And she wasn’t sure she would be able to complete it this time. At least she had Gamora to help. She kicked the bag again. Gamora wasn’t going to help. She would ruin her chances of ever completing it to keep up her status as most-favorable child. The star, his little-one. Nebula started to punch it repeatedly and finished it off with a roundhouse kick. It flew off its chain, and Nebula huffed, grabbing a bottle of water from the corner. She ignored the green alien with blue hair leaning against the doorway.

Nebula didn’t like the hair. This was the 5th time Gamora had attempted dying it and now it was a dark, ocean blue. It didn’t suit her.

“I know your upset with me,” Gamora said. She entered the room, her arms folded across her chest. Nebula gave another little huff, but other than that she screwed the bottle cap onto her bottle without a glance and went to pick up the punching bag.

“I didn’t have a choice,” Gamora said, her voice tense. Nebula turned to look at her with furious eyes.

“There is always a choice,” Nebula hissed. A ray of sunlight hit Nebula, and the silver prosthesis on her head glistened, causing Gamora to look away. “You had a choice not to fight me. To stand up to our fath – to him.”

She corrected herself. It was still hard for her to call him her father, the man who had slaughtered her family, her brother, her entire home planet. He who called her weak and worthless and forced her into impossible missions that almost always caused her to have to team up with Gamora, that back-stabbing wench of a sister. He who ripped out her eye for simply not besting her sister in a fight.

“You know that’s not how it works,” Gamora mumbled, grabbing her arm subconsciously. Nebula broke eye contact, grabbing the punching bag and attaching a new clip onto it, attaching it back to the screw in the ceiling.

“Did you need anything else, sis?” Nebula added a sneer on the last word, making Gamora’s stomach wretch horribly, her brows furrow and her heart twist.

“No.”

It was a lie.

[grownups-are-the-real-monsters]

reddie 20

Your song is ‘You Gotta Be a Football Hero’ by Ben Bernie !!!

(Send me a Stephen King ship + a number & I will shuffle my music that many times and write you a little one-shot!!!)

Beverly Marsh found out about the empty backyard pool from a classmate named Deborah Hat. Her mother was a real estate agent and in the middle of trying to sell the property (which was not going well). So young Debbie used it as a quiet place to smoke with occasional partners.

Bev was invited when Deb found out the girl had an endless supply of cigarettes & was kind enough to share. Showing her gratitude, Deb welcomed the teen to use the pool as a hang-out place for herself & her weird friends.

Though no one blamed Deb for thinking weirdly of Richie considering the idiot used the same pickup line on her every-time they crossed paths. 'May I try this hat on for size?'

He didn’t even mean it. He just thought it was clever as hell.

: : : : : : : : : : :

Knowing where it all went wrong doesn’t mean a person posses the capability of fixing the situation. Hard to swallow pills didn’t come after a prescription, sometimes they just ended up in the usual round-table of Eddie’s medication. Usually after days of spiraling thoughts about his life.

He was sitting coldly on the last step of the ladder leading to the pool, legs dangling over the side. The Tozier boy was sitting, legs spread out, on the pool floor. His A&W Root-Beer shirt folded as he hunched over to get a sip of Stan’s soda.

“Y’know, you don’t need to wait thirty minutes after you eat to get in this pool.” Came Mike’s voice from above. With a crack of his neck, Eddie glance up to see his friend bent over the round handles.

Eddie grinned & hopped down to the ground so Mike could climb down. He clapped his back gently and made his way towards Bill & Bev who were digging into their cheeseburger meals. Richie had suggested they stop for a bag of fast-food before headin’ out.

“Need a lift, Ed’s?” Richie wiped grease down his jeans as he stood to make his way over.

“Please.” Eddie decided to let that nickname pass for now and instead he happily enjoyed Richie plucking him from the ground. He placed the smaller boy back on his spot on the ladder with a genuine grin.

His thin fingers snaked around the cool metal and suddenly those scary thoughts of the future were dismissed. Because it was always the age of cartoons & comic books when Eddie looked into Richie’s wonderfully crazy eyes.

“You still mad at me?” Richie tried to act casual but his voice cracked in the tiniest way which nearly broke Eddie’s heart.

His nose scrunched when he shook his head. “No. You were just trying to help me.” He reached out to push Richie’s glasses up for him. “Besides, my mom started it.” He tried to smile but found it hard when he remembered that day.

Because that was just Richie, he understood and planted a tiny kiss on Eddie’s cheek. “Would you tell me to go fuck myself if I gave ya something kinda sentimental?” Anxiety was clear in his tone.

Eddie shook his head, hair tickling under Rich’s chin. “Never.”

Richie grinned and shook something out of the pocket of his jacket. “I want you to wear this as a promise ring, ok?” He smirked, still hiding the actually prize in his palms. “Screw it, right? We don’t know our plans but we do know one thing & what’s that Ed’s?”

Eddie smirked, reluctant to do the little routine but amused all the same. “We go together.” He mumbled, half-embarrassed considering all the Losers were now looking at them.

He hummed happily. “No matter how scary our future may seem, we’ll be brave!” Richie fell victim to another character performance, Eddie watched happily. “I mean, are we men or are we mice?”

From behind him, their friends erupted “We’re mice!”

Richie’s eyes glowed as he watched Eddie chuckle as he joined them. Instead of saying more, he opened his hands and held out the present.

“Holy Shit!” Eddie hopped off the ladder with wide-admiring eyes laying upon the greatest little trinket he thought lost years ago. In the hill of Richie’s palm was a nostalgic little Captain Midnight™ Decoder Ring. “Dude, I thought I lost this like a million years ago.” He swiped it and slipped it on just as easily as he used to when he was eleven.

Those elated eyes of Richie continued to beam with admiration. “Yeah, I found it buried in my old sandbox.”

“Why were you digging in your sandbox?” Mike asked from behind them.

Richie took an amused expression. “My dad said he was excellent at finding lost shit so I buried his keys!” He laughed at the memory and looked back at Mike before turning softly. “So, you like it?”

Eddie grinned, holding his hand close to his chest. “I have such a crush on you, Dick.” He giggled at his useless words but there truly wasn’t a better way to describe it.

“Don’t embarrass yourself!” Richie whistled to distract from his blush.

                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A paper boat did not float so easily on dampened brown mush but on this day the air was heavy with thick wind and the ground was seeping with foul rainwater. Nobody’s child would be out, in fear of catching their death from the wet air.

Inside the warm car, a cheap paper cup spilled droplets of Root-Beer piss down into Eddie’s cupholders. Not an easy place to clean. His eyes burned a little just from watching the liquid bounce & pour over as the car moved.

“I’ll be back in like...” Eddie spoke with exaggerated relaxation. “five minutes or so-”

He was abruptly cut off when Richie held up his hand. “Wait, we’re having a transcendent moment, Eds. Let it play out...” He leaned the front seat back and Eddie attempted to hush his snort.

Somewhere beyond Eddie’s car, a chain-link fence rattled and someone’s lost umbrella blew in the wind like a tumbleweed. “In the pharmacy parking lot?” He chuckled and flicked a quarter off his thumb & into the air.

Richie hummed.

“I want my ibuprofen, Dick.” Eddie shook his head and reached for the door handle again. “If were going to the homecoming game, I need to be prepared for the headache that always comes with it.”

Richie just smiled and leaned back in his chair, looking at his boyfriend. “You should be excited, Ed’s.” He finally turned the vehicle off, letting Eddie know he intended to join him inside even though the trip would only take a few minutes.

“All the football heroes putting on a great show for us losers in the bleachers. I can suck down a hot-dog with you sitting on my lap. My hands between your knees...” He reached over and took Eddie’s free hand.

Eddie rolled his eyes but felt reluctantly joyful. “Those are basically the lyrics to Jack & Diane...” He raised his brow.

“Well, we’re the gay Jack & Diane, remember?”

Eddie chuckled. “You’re the only one who calls us that.” He slid free from Richie’s grip. “Jack, he's gonna be a football star...” Eddie mocked a singing voice. “Doesn’t really sound like you does it?”

Richie huffed. “I’m Diane, asshole.”

Eddie giggled. “Of course, sorry.”

“And who says you gotta be a football hero to get along with a beautiful fella, anyway?” Richie whistled the tune of that old song. “The sentiment is what we are, Ed’s.”

“Highschool sweethearts?”

Richie shrugged. “To put it bluntly, yeah.” He took a long sip of his disgusting soda. “But we go on. Like the song itself, baby!” He smacked him lightly. “Annoying thousands with our staying power and radio-play.” He smiled.

“You’re ridiculous.”

Richie just hopped out of the car, again starting the whistle of ‘You gotta be a football hero’ as he walked....

[pocket-luv101]

Summary: Mahiru takes Kuro home to meet his uncle. He was shocked to learn that his absent father would join their family dinner. (KuroMahi, Modern AU)

A/N: This started out as a Monster-In-Law AU but as I was writing, another fanfic just came to me and I re-wrote the entire thing in an hour. There’s more angst here than my original concept.

“Uncle, I’m home! I haven’t said that since high school. It’s a little nostalgic.” Mahiru chuckled as he walked into the apartment. He held Kuro’s hand and led him through the house. He walked past the living room to go to the kitchen where he heard his Uncle cooking. The room hadn’t changed and the familiar sight was comforting to him.

He found his uncle cooking curry and its pleasant smell caused him to smile wider. Mahiru hadn’t realized how much he missed his uncle after he moved out to go to college. They were close because he had adopted him when he was a child and then raised him as if he were his father. Life and work made them both busy in the past few years but they did their best to speak often.

“You started dinner without me.” He lightly chastised his uncle with a good-natured laugh. He ran to his uncle and hugged him. Mahiru let him go and then took a spoon from the drawer. He tasted the curry and hummed in approval. “It tastes great so far. I was hoping all three of us could cook together though. Oh, Kuro, come here and taste this.”

Mahiru turned back to Kuro who stood awkwardly in the doorway. He met his uncle a few times already but he was still nervous about their dinner. This would be their first dinner since he proposed to Mahiru. Kuro knew how important his uncle was in Mahiru’s life and he hoped they could become a family like Mahiru wanted.

He could read Kuro’s thoughts in his eyes so he took his hand into his and squeezed it gently. The two were important to Mahiru and he hoped they would get along well. He pulled Kuro into the kitchen. He scooped another spoonful of curry and held it up for Kuro to try. “You two should talk about what goes best with curry while I say hello to Mom.”

“Wait, Mahiru, I need to tell you about—” He didn’t hear his uncle’s words because he was focused on Kuro’s reaction to the curry. After he fed him a spoonful, Mahiru quickly walked out of the room. He thought he should give the two a chance to talk privately.

Mahiru entered the living room where his mother’s memorial altar was kept. He was surprised to find that there was already someone praying in front of the altar. For a moment, he didn’t recognize him. The man must’ve noticed him enter the room because he turned around to face him. A sharp gasp escaped Mahiru. “Father? I didn’t know you were coming to dinner.”

“I stopped by to give your uncle a few files.” Touma explained as he stood. Neither of them tried to continue the conversation and silence stretched between them. Throughout his childhood, he didn’t know who his father was and he only met him a few months ago. They would speak occasionally but they were far from father and son. “How have you been?”

“Fine.” His answer was short and awkward. Mahiru looked beyond his father to the family shrine. Many would call him foolish but he thought everyone deserved a second chance. “Have you eaten dinner yet, Father? You can stay and eat with us. Uncle made a pot of curry and it is Mom’s secret recipe.”

“I’ll stay if you’re comfortable with my joining your dinner.” He shrugged.

“My fiancé came over for dinner so you can finally meet him. Kuro’s a great man. I should get back to the kitchen to help them with the curry.” Mahiru quickly excused himself before the awkward silence could make him change his mind. He walked back out into the hall but he didn’t return to the kitchen. He leaned against the wall and took a shaky breath.

The excitement he felt to bring his fiancé home was dulled after he saw his father. He knew the dinner would be awkward with his father present. Yet, Mahiru told himself that he was an adult now and he couldn’t let the past affect him. He hoped Kuro’s presence and support would help him through the dinner. Kuro was his future and he wanted to focus on that.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that your father was going to visit me today. He came to talk about the company’s projected revenue. I thought we would complete our meeting before you came for dinner.” Toru apologized to Mahiru. He wished he had rescheduled the dinner so they could’ve avoided the awkward meeting.

“It’s okay, Uncle, you couldn’t have known this would happen. Touma wasn’t there for my childhood but he’s trying to be a father now. I don’t know what caused him to contact me after so long though.” Mahiru had to admit that he was slightly suspicious when his uncle first introduced them to each other. Touma had a stable job so he didn’t need money from him. Maybe he truly wished to be a family.

He grabbed a stack of plates to take them to the dining room. Stepping out of the hall, he found Kuro staring at pictures on the wall. Mahiru stood next to him to see which photo had him so captivated. A chuckle escaped him the moment he saw his younger self covered in cake. The memory made him smile and he said, “That was my first birthday. I don’t remember it but Uncle would always tell the story of how I climbed out of my highchair and jumped onto the table for a slice of cake.”

“That reminds me of the time you tried to jump onto a balcony to save a cat. It looks like you’ve always been reckless.” Kuro slipped the plates from his hands to carry them for him. He glanced around the hall where countless photos were hanged. He nodded towards another photo and asked, “Is that your mother? She was beautiful. You look a lot like her too.”

“Thank you.” His words warmed his heart. Mahiru knew that Kuro wasn’t merely being polite when he complimented his mother. He hoped that she was watching over him and she could see how happy Kuro made him. When he was young, she would always tell him to find someone who made him smile. “She was a wonderful mother.”

They walked to the dining room and set the table. “I was already nervous for this dinner with your uncle but now I have to impress your father as well. Imagine if your mother was here too. I would be a nervous wreck.”

Kuro spoke in a joking voice but then he saw how Mahiru’s face fell. He started to worry that he said might’ve hurt him without meaning to. He set down the plates on the table and then cupped Mahiru’s cheek in his hand. With a heavy sigh, he turned his face into Kuro’s hand to feel his strength. “This will be my first dinner with my father too. You’re not the only one nervous.”

Mahiru always wore a bright smile so most wouldn’t think that he had a lonely childhood. He told Kuro about how his mother died and he was adopted by his busy uncle. He rarely spoke of his father though. From the sadness in his brown eyes, Kuro knew that he was hurt by his absence. He caressed his cheek to comfort him. He leaned down and rested his forehead against his.

“If the dinner goes bad and you want to leave early, just tell me. I’ll fake a heart attack for you.” He offered and Mahiru burst out into laughter. His body relaxed and he was glad that Kuro would be next to him throughout the dinner. He rose onto his toes to kiss his cheek.

“Mahiru, you’re not in high school anymore so you shouldn’t be sneaking kisses with your boyfriend. Wait, I should say fiancé..” The voice made them jump apart. Mahiru’s face was burning and he couldn’t face his uncle who entered the room. He felt like a teenager being caught with his boyfriend. His uncle chuckled lightly as he placed the food on the table. He was happy that Mahiru found a loving relationship in Kuro.

They sat around the table and the dinner began. At first, the conversation was simple as Mahiru told them about his school and plans for the future. “I’m lucky that Misono’s family gave me a reference for the internship. I don’t know if I would’ve gotten past the first interview without it.”

“Out of all the applicants, you cared the most so you would’ve gotten the job.” Kuro said and caused Mahiru to smile. Beneath the table, he took his hand and slowly tangled their fingers together. He gave him a tender squeeze before he returned to his food.

Kuro hadn’t spoken much throughout the dinner because he wasn’t a talkative person. Yet, he searched for a way to continue the conversation so Mahiru would have a break from the discussion. Mahiru’s voice was a little stiff and he was likely forcing himself to have a casual talk with his father. He couldn’t stand to see Mahiru struggle.

“This curry is delicious. I never learned how to cook so Mahiru has saved me from a life of instant ramen. You should’ve seen his face when he first came over to my house and opened the fridge. I only had two things in the fridge.” From a warm meal each morning to his loving embrace at night, Mahiru had changed his life. “He’s the best cook I know.”

“You don’t know how to cook for yourself?” Touma asked and the question made Kuro wince. He knew that the man was judging him but he did his best to ignore him for Mahiru’s sake. The dinner was already difficult for him and he didn’t want to make it worse by causing a scene. “You’re an adult so you should be able to feed yourself. Do you have a job at least?”

“I work at the university’s bookstore. That’s how Mahiru and I met.” He told him. While Touma nodded slightly, it was clear that he was far from impressed with his job.

Mahiru took his hand and Kuro thought he wanted to reassure him. Then, he felt how tense his grip was and that his hand was trembling in anger. Few things could anger Mahiru or make him upset so Kuro was surprised. He adjusted their hands so their fingers were interlocked. Tenderly, Kuro stroked his thumb over Mahiru’s skin to sooth him. His hand relaxed in his. They didn’t exchange a word yet he was able to comfort and reassure him.

“Kuro, tell us about your family.” Toru tried to change the subject. Silence thickened the air around them and wanted to ease the tension.

“I have a lot of siblings.” Kuro told him. “There’s eight of us all together and I’m the oldest. Life was chaotic with so many people under one roof but we made it through everything as a team. Without them, I don’t know if I would’ve applied to university. Family is important to me. I was nervous that Mahiru would be overwhelmed by my siblings but they get along great.”

“They invited me to a family camping trip and I had a wonderful time.” He said and unconsciously leaned towards Kuro. He quickly remembered that his uncle was watching them and straightened his back. Mahiru blushed and said, “I’ve always wanted a big family. Kuro and I have talked about our options to have our own family in the future. That’s still far into the future though. I want to graduate and secure a steady job first.”

“How long have you two been dating to discuss kids and the future?” Touma placed his spoon down on the table. Even though he directed his question to Mahiru, he didn’t take his eyes off Kuro. “Marriage and children are big decisions so you shouldn’t rush into anything.”

“Don’t you think I know that since I was raised by a single mother? That’s why I said we were waiting until we graduate.” Mahiru shot back. “Kuro and I have been together for three years. We want a future together and we talked about it like any couple would.”

“Mahiru, I know you don’t want to hear my advice but I only intend to help. You’re my son and I care about you. I reached out because I’ve changed and I want to be a good father.” Touma spoke in a calm and even voice. “Toru told me that you are trusting like your mother. You shouldn’t be with someone because you think they’re a pitiful stray.”

“You have no right to judge Kuro or my relationship with him after you left Mom to raise me on her own!” He snapped and shot to his feet. The frustration and anger he tried to contain rushed out of him as heated words. “Did you ever think of us? Uncle told me that you learned about me when Mom died. You had sixteen years to contact me since then but you waited. I can’t believe I’m related to a man like you.”

“Mahiru, your parents’ relationship was complicated.” Toru didn’t want to defend Touma but he thought it was best to defuse the argument. “Touma, apologize to Mahiru and Kuro for what you said. You’re his father but you’ve overstepped.”

“I guess there is one thing I’ve inherited from you, Father.” Mahiru spoke before Touma could. “You can call me selfish. The reason I decided to speak with you because I wanted to preserve the image I have of my mother. I hoped there was something that would make me understand why she chose a man like you. I— I’m sorry, I need to go.”

Kuro called his name and rushed to go after him when he ran from the table. He reached his side as Mahiru threw open the front door. He placed his hand on his shoulder to stop him. There were tears in his brown eyes when he looked up at him. “I love you Kuro but I need a few minutes alone to collect myself.”

Kuro wanted to stay with him and comfort him. Yet, he had to respect Mahiru’s request. He tenderly kissed his forehead and whispered: “If that’s what you want. I’ll be here if you need me. You’re strong but don’t take on everything by yourself.”

Touma stepped onto the balcony for a smoke. As he started to close the sliding door behind him, he noticed that Kuro was already standing outside. He hadn’t noticed him because his focus was on something below him. He stepped next to him and looked down as well. The car light of Kuro’s car was on and he could see Mahiru in the front seat. “Why don’t you go talk to your fiancé?”

“He wants to be alone.” He told him. “I don’t think it’s safe for him to be alone when it’s so late and dark outside. Someone could rob or attack him. You can say it’s a habit of mine since I grew up in a rough neighbourhood. The moment a car stopped at this late hour, someone would try to take your car.”

“This is a good neighbourhood so you don’t need to watch over Mahiru. He’s an adult.” Touma lit a cigarette and stood next to Kuro. He held out a cigarette to Kuro. “Do you want one? This has been a stressful night for everyone. I know I’m the cause for a lot of it.”

“I quit smoking two years ago. Mahiru said that it’s bad for my health and he doesn’t like the smell.” Kuro took the cigarette from him and then flicked it over the balcony. “I love him. I’ll support him no matter what he decides to do. Family is important to Mahiru but he doesn’t want an overbearing father— especially one that crashed back into his life only a month ago.”

Kuro pushed away from the rail and looked up at Touma. “I won’t stop Mahiru if he decides to have another dinner like this. It’s his decision. But next time, think about Mahiru’s feelings before you open your mouth and hurt him. If Mahiru or Toru decides to punch you for being a jerk, I won’t stop them.”

Below the balcony, Mahiru stepped out of the car and waved to Kuro. He nodded to him before he went into the house to meet him. Touma thought it was best to stay on the balcony. He didn’t want to cause another scene and make Mahiru upset again. He took a long drag of his cigarette and watched Kuro walk to Mahiru in the front yard.

Touma heard Toru’s voice behind him, “I’ve been a father to Mahiru far longer than you have so let me give you some advice. Mahiru’s a good judge of character so you didn’t need to ask all those questions. Mahiru loves him and Kuro makes him happy.”

“I want to be a good father for Hanako.” Touma thought of Mahiru’s mother. “I’ll need more help and advice before that happens.”

[pixie-circle-au]

Chapter One: New Home, New Friends, and Lots of Boxes To Unpack.

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four (Coming Soon)

Content Warnings: Food [DM or send an ask for something to be tagged]

Words: 2037

Editors: Aqua (@duckswithbucks)

Taglist: @fandom-nerd-girl555 @justmeandmygayships

Notes: Here’s the first chapter! My goal is to upload once a week, but I’m not sure how that’ll go.

The young pixie stared up at the house, a bright smile on his face. His parents stood beside him, similar smiles on their faces. The family was glowing with excitement for their new life in Brookside— a new life free of the disapproval and fear that had chased them in Worshire.

“Patton, can you help your father with the boxes?” The feral pixie nodded, heading to the truck that carried the last of their possessions. The big furniture had been moved last week, so now it was just… everything else. The family was definitely going to be spending the day moving boxes. It wasn’t ideal, but they could explore the town once there were actually sheets on the beds.

By midday, all the essentials were done. Dinner was in the fridge, ready to be eaten. Patton and his father, Geoni, were sitting at the table, reviewing their packing lists, and crossing off boxes. Patton’s mother, Julia, was pacing around anxiously, checking her phone every few minutes.

“Mom, what’s bugging you now?”

“Oh! Dear,” she laid a hand on her son’s shoulder, “Patton, and Geo, dear, I’ve been talking with the family next door— they’re quite a lovely family—and I wanted to ask: would you be alright with them coming for dinner?”

Patton shrugged, “I don’t mind.”

“I see no problem with it,” said Geoni matter-of-factly, “It’s the fae one, yes?”

“Yes, dear.”

“Ah, then I’d love to meet them! Tell them we’ll make sure to have a lovely dinner prepared, I’ll make stew. They aren’t feral, are they?” Julia shook her head and began to type on her phone.

“Well, it’ll be nice to meet the neighbors. If you don’t mind, I have to deal with some personal items, call me if you need me.” Geoni nodded, rising from his chair to his full height. 

“Come down in half an hour, will you? I’ll need some help with the stew.” Patton nodded before grabbing a box with his name and rushing upstairs.

Patton had already spent a lot of time in this room, deciding where everything would go. Still it seemed foreign. Already the dresser, bed, and a side table had been put in, but other than that, it was bland and empty. The walls had at least been painted a sky blue, the pixie’s favorite color. 

He set to work putting up pictures of memories, posters of shows he watched, and decorating with nostalgic pieces of art and trophies he’d won as a child in various competitions. He managed to get through a good part of the box before his father called him down to help with the stew. 

It was a pretty simple recipe, but it always got a ton of compliments. Geoni was an excellent chef, and was almost always in charge of cooking when there were guests. Patton didn’t share his father’s talents, but he could at least do things like chop onions and pass spices without messing up.

Pretty soon the table was ready with a steaming pot of stew in the middle, and just in time, as the doorbell rang. 

“Patton, can you get that?” Said Geoni, who was putting ice in the glasses. The feral pixie nodded, rushing to the door. He opened it with a smile. 

“Hello!” The family at the door was dressed in fine, dark clothing. Each with a yellow emblem of two snakes circling each other on their chest. There was a tall, serious man, a young-looking woman, who wore a warm smile, and a teenager with messy, shoulder length red hair. They all wore dark hats. 

“Hello,” the man stepped forward, and Patton could see well trimmed red hair peek out from his hat, he extended a hand covered in a black glove to Patton, and the feral pixie took it.

“I’m Patton, Patton Talisman. It’s a pleasure to meet you, why don’t you come in?” The pixie stopped back, making way for the family to stroll in. Once they were all inside, Patton shut the door.

“I’m Ilani Sepentes, or Charity. This is my husband Hanson, or Disguise. And my son, Janus, or Deceit.” said the woman.

“Oh, ha, I’m Morality. I’m not quite used to using my fae name.”

“Ah yes, not every circle uses it quite that often.”

“Why don’t you come sit down, dinner’s already made.”

“Ah! Janus, be a dear and grab the pie from the car, I nearly forgot.” 

The young fae nodded and rushed out to the car, coming back a few moments later as the parents were setting down to the table. 

“Oh,” Julia took the pie, “How lovely, I’ll put it on the counter.”

“It was the least we could do to welcome you to our town. My son made it though, so thank him.”

“Ah, yes.” Julia stepped forward, “Janus, was it?”

“Yes.” He smiled, extending a gloved hand. Patton noticed that the son’s gloves were yellow, rather than the black of the mother and father. 

“Thank you so much, why don’t you all take a seat.”

The meal started in awkward silence. The Talisman family was shy of the Sepentes [AN: it’s pronounced sep-ENT-ess], and didn’t really know how to start the conversation. Thankfully, Ilani spoke first. 

“Me and my husband, if you haven’t heard already, are the leaders of the circle. If you didn’t live next door we’d probably be here anyway.”

Julia dabbed at her mouth with a napkin before speaking. “It’s lovely to meet you, then. I was considering asking about the leader anyway.” She paused, for a moment, apparently concentrating hard. “I probably should have figured that out, as you know, this is the Sepentes… pixie… circle.”

Ilani laughed. “Yes, our family has been running this circle for centuries now.”

“Say, do you host monthly meetings?” Asked Geoni, wiping the blood of his food from his hands. 

“We host them the first and second Monday of the month at nine at night.”

“Well then, me and my son will have to show up!” Said Patton’s father with a smile.

“What, you’re wife’s not up to it?” Said Hanson snidely.

“Dear! Be respectful.” She sighed. “My husband was not raised in a welcoming circle so… he can be rude about things.”

Julia nodded. “Well, at least you aren’t going to ban my husband and son from attending pixie circle and basically threatening to kill me if Geoni doesn’t get a divorce and kill his son.”

“Oh god, did that happen?” Ilani’s mouth hung open.

“More or less. It’s why we moved, that and the manics.” She gestured to Patton, who gave an awkward wave.

Ilani nodded understandingly. Hanson huffed, and grudgingly said “My apologies, ma’am.” 

The rest of the dinner went well, most with Ilani, Geoni, and Julia chatting happily, talking about Brookside and the Talisman’s experiences in Worshire. Patton made the occasional remark, but stayed mostly quiet, casting glances at Janus and his imposing father.

“What grade are you in?” Asked the son softly, turning towards Patton. The cat pixie looked up, and turned towards the other as well.

“I’m a freshman, I’m transferring into the high school mid year,” he paused, “I’m a little nervous to be honest.”

Janus smiled, “Nothing to be worried about. I’m a freshman too, and I have friends in freshman year. There’s Virgil--he’s a shadow elf-- and Remus, he’s human.”

“You're really friends with humans?”

“I’d figure you’d get it, you know, since your mom is one.”

“Ha, yeah, I guess. I’ve just always been told not to be friends with humans, in case they find you, you know.”

“That’s fair I guess. Human or not, do you want to meet them? It’d be nice to start off your life in a new town with some friends.”

“Yeah, I guess that's good.”

“Cool, you can hang out with us sometime before school starts maybe?”

“Sure.” Patton smiled. He was nervous, as he didn’t really have friends in his old town. The life of a fae with a human parent, I guess. After everyone had eaten, Patton was charged with cleaning up and bringing out the pie. The jovial chatter between the three adults continued, with Hanson even jumping in a bit. 

“Is everyone done with dessert?” asked Julia.

Positive murmurs rose around the table.

“Alright. Patton, why don’t you talk with Janus and clean up? The adults want to talk in the living room.” The feral pixie nodded as the four adults headed into the sparse living room, which had yet to be decorated.

“So what do you do here in Brookside?” Said Patton, gathering the dishes. Janus stood, picking up the rest of the pie.

“Oh, you know. The woods are pretty fun to walk around in. There’s a couple of ice cream shops. Me and the boys go roller skating once a month.”

“‘You and the boys’?” Patton chuckled.

“Yeah, ha. I’m friends with Remus and Virgil, but those two also bring along Roman and sometimes Logan, although I think they just feel bad for Logan.”

Patton smiled. “What are Remus and Virgil like?”

“Well you’ll meet them,” Janus pulled some ceran wrap out of the cupboard and began wrapping up the pie, “But I guess I should warn you. Virgil is nice, but he’s really anxious and shy, it’ll take you a bit to get close to him. When you first meet him though, and he doesn’t say a single word and just mopes in the corner, well, he looks like he’s ready to shoot you dead. Heh, he prolly could. Remus is… the exact opposite. He’s got this gorgeous face, I mean like gorgeous. He looks all sweet and kind and… he is nothing like that, lord. He’s got a very… wild imagination.”

“How long have you all known each other?”

“Well me and Virgil have been friends for a few years, seeing as we’re both fae, but Remus we met freshman year.”

Patton began wiping down the table, “So, your parents run the circle. What’s that like?”

Janus paused, seemingly thinking. “It’s alright I guess. It does mean I have to go to every single god damn meeting.”

“Language!”

Janus smiled, “Wow, what vulgar language I just used, oh golly,” he snickered, “Sorry, I’ll try not to curse.” 

Patton smiled satisfactorily. 

“But yeah, it’s not much except for the professional stuff. And I mean, if my older sister doesn’t take over, I’ll have to run it. I’m gonna have some place in leadership either way, but at least if she takes over I won’t be full time. She’s a lot more suited anyway. And I mean it’s not like my parents are close to retirement any-- sorry for rambling, ha.”

“It’s alright,” Patton smiled. “Wanna go upstairs? I think we’re bugging the adults.” 

“Sure.”

The two headed up the stairs into Patton’s room, still only partially decorated. Janus looked around, smiling at the decorations already up. “I’m almost done with this room, just have a bit more to do.” The feral pixie placed the box on his bed, and Janus took a seat.

“This…” Patton pulled out a poster, “Is my favorite band. They aren’t together anymore but, I still like them. You can find their music on the web though.” The poster had a painting of a wolf on it and said ‘Timber at Dawn’.

“Wow, that’s nice.”

“Yeah, I have CDs of three of their albums, and records of all of them. My record player broke though.” The feral pixie took the records and stashed them before preparing to hand the poster.

“I have a record player, you can come to my house sometime and we can listen to them.” 

“Really?” Patton smiled excitedly. It’d been nearly a year since he’d been able to listen to those albums.

“Yeah.”

The two spent the next hour chatting while Patton decorated his room. They talked about music, and clothing, and a dozen other meaningless things. They barely noticed any time had passed before Hanson was calling Janus to come down to leave. 

“I’ll walk you out, but uh, do you want my number.”

“I would have forgotten. Trade numbers?”

The two entered their numbers into the other’s phones before rushing down the stairs. The group exchanged goodbyes, and soon the house was quiet again. Patton slept well last night, excited for a new life in Brookside.

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. Candyland: What is your favorite type of candy? White chocolate. Like, white chocolate Reese’s. Yum. 2. Chutes & Ladders: Do you have a fear of going up on ladders? Does your house have a laundry chute somewhere? It does seem like it’d be scary. I would worry about it falling backward or it sliding off whatever it’s leaning against. Or me just falling off somehow. And no, we don’t have a laundry chute. That would be nice. 3. Operation: How many surgeries have you had in your lifetime? Seven. 4. Sorry!: Do you sometimes apologize, even when it’s not your fault? Yeppp. I’m quick to blame myself or find fault in something I did. I can be so understanding and forgiving when it comes to other people, but I’m very hard on myself.

5. Game of Life: What is your greatest accomplishment thus far? What do you hope to do with the rest of your life? You would think it would be graduating UC and obtaining my BA in psychology, but I feel like such a failure and disappointment because all that degree has done in the 5 years since I’ve graduated is collect dust on a shelf. I have NO idea what I want to do with my life, but I know I don’t even want to purse that anymore. :/ It just feels like such a waste now, not an accomplishment.

6. Cootie: Did you really used to think that boys/girls had cooties? Nah. I played with boys and girls growing up. 7. Trouble: What is something big that you got into a lot of trouble for? When I was like 11 or 12 I went into teen or adult chatrooms (remember AOL chatrooms??) and said inappropriate things and IMed with some guys. :X  Somehow my mom found out and yeah, needless to say she was not happy.  8. Puzzles: When was the last time you felt puzzled/confused? How often do you feel like you don’t fit in? I’ve felt confused about a lot of things for a long time now. I just don’t know what I’m doing or what I want to do or what the hell is wrong with me. I also have always felt I didn’t really fit in. I’ve often felt like the 3rd wheel or black sheep. 9. Hungry Hungry Hippos: What’s your favorite meal to eat? Wingstop garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings or ramen. 

10. Uno: Can you count to ten in another language? If so, which language? En Español.  11. Go Fish!: Have you ever been fishing before? Once. I found it quite boring. 12. Old Maid: Did you ever have a maid in your house, growing up? No. 13. Simon Says: Did you always do everything you were told as a child? I was a goody-goody for the most part. 14. Red Light, Green Light: When you approach a yellow light, are you more likely to slow down or speed up? I don’t drive. 15. Are you any good at jump rope, hopscotch, or hula hooping? Have you ever used a pogo stick before? Nope to all the above. 16. Do you prefer chalk or bubbles? I loved drawing with chalk as a kid.  17. Did you used to go on a lot of bike rides as a child? No. 18. Capture the Flag: What is your country’s flag? What about your state’s flag, if you have one? The American flag. My state’s flag has a bear and a red star on it. 19. Tic Tac Toe: When you played, were you the “hugs” or the “kisses”? I always liked being X. 20. Have you ever won a game of Marco Polo in the pool without cheating? I think so. My cousins and I played that all the time as kids. 21. Scrabble: Are you any good at spelling? Yes. 22. While playing rock, paper, scissors, which do you usually throw down first? Rock.

23. Were you always stuck being the pickle in the middle? What? 24. Limbo: How low can you go? Not low at all. 25. When playing, did you usually pick “Truth” or “Dare”? I would pick truth. And that’s if I played at all.

26. Have you been involved in any innocent games of Spin the Bottle or 7 Minutes in Heaven? I’ve never played either one.

27. Twister: Are you a flexible person (figuratively or literally)? Nope. 28. Did you used to pretend that the floor was lava? Yeah. My cousin’s and I would play with a balloon and try to keep it from falling on the floor. 29. Guess Who: Are you any good at guessing games? I’m usually like, “I don’t know, just tell me!” 30. Clue: Do you think that you would be able to successfully solve a murder case? I like reading or watching murder mysteries and try to figure it out while I go, and I’ve always wanted to go to a murder mystery party, but I don’t know if I could solve a murder case for real. Real life is a lot more complicated, it’s not alll laid out or presented for you like it is in a book or TV show. It’d also be very stressful.    31. Mouse Trap: Have you ever felt trapped before, in some way? Yes. 32. Labyrinth: Have you ever gotten lost in a maze? The maze of life, ha. 33. Jenga: Are you careful about what choices you make in life? I’ve made a lot of mistakes and have a lot of regrets.  34. Bop it or Skip-it? Bop It. 35. Tag: Are you in shape? Do you enjoy running? No. 36. Kickball: Did you kick the ball over the fence a lot as a kid? No. 37. Are you any good at mini-golf? I’ve only played once and it was when I was a kid, so it’s been quite a long time. 38. Telephone: What do you do with a rumor once it’s been told to you? I’m not one to spread rumors.  39. Hide and Seek: Have you ever hid so well that it felt like it took somebody forever to find you? What was your best hiding spot? Yeah. I don’t recall what my best hiding spot was. 40. What Time Is It, Mr. Fox?: When were you old enough to tell time on an analog clock as opposed to a digital one? I remember in kindergarten we had a big clock with movable minute and hour hands and my teacher would spend time (ha, get it) with us changing the hour and minute hand and going over it with us. 41. Mother May I: Did you always ask your parents for permission? Yeah, I was pretty good about that. 42. Follow the Leader: Can you be bossy at times? Only jokingly like with my brother. 43. Monopoly: Are you good with your money/finances? I’ve gotten a little better this year.  44. Chess: Have you ever wanted to be king/queen? Nah. 45. Play-doh or Slime? Play-doh. Man, the smell of Play-doh is super nostalgic for me.  [a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse] 

[koyurim]

reply 1997 ep 15-16 (fin)

we say goodbye to our 97 crew in the final episodes, which unveils some mysteries and surprises. 

our final two episodes wrap up our main love triangle and bring us from 2005 back to 2012. overall, i found these two episodes a bit too long. 1997 is so impressive because of how efficiently and effectively they deliver the story. the tight editing makes the show quick, witty, and can feel like a sucker punch to the feels. in increasing the length of the last two eps, the show seemed to meander and REALLY drew out the ‘who’s the baby daddy’ question, which seemed silly because the answer seemed pretty obvious by the end of episode 14. while i thought the premise was really fun and had me at the edge of my seat throughout, by this point, i was like.. ok, we’re still acting like we don’t know who it’s going to be? (i had to watch yoon-jae and tae-woong run in the hospital THREE times, like i GET it). obviously, i indulge this excess because i love the characters, but surprisingly the length actually made it easier for me to say good bye to our crew by the end. i was ready to see the resolutions and learn how we got to the present. 

the show always delivers in it’s focus on family and the trials and tribulations of growing up. i appreciated the way the love triangle was wrapped up with it’s focus on the brotherly bond between yoon-jae and tae-woong (will anybody confront tae-woong about his predatory behavior though?). mom and dad also so effectively knit together two families into one cohesive one that we knew shi-won wouldn’t lose one brother just by picking the other. 

the show as a whole hits youth and adolescence spot on. the highs and lows of the earnest passion, embarrassment, and self-discovery in trying and failing over and over again. while this period was not when i experienced my teenage years and i didn't always understand the pop references, the heart of the show really hit me. shi-won and dad fighting, spending time with friends in high school, and being excited for the big world outside your town were moments and feelings that cut through time and really made me nostalgic for my own childhood. i felt the show really shined during the periods in the late 90s. after the time skip, things weren’t as earnest, but that makes sense to me. just as we grow up, life loses some of its glamor as we face the real world. 

i love that the ending message about first love is that it’s a period of time and about who you are in that moment. if it lasts, it’s because it has evolved and grown up. in this sense, shi-won and yoon-jae’s first love works because they find the person they want to grow up with. i really LOVED the snippets we saw of shi-won and yoon-jae’s relationship, especially the proposal. we got to see their dynamic as childhood friends continue and evolve into romance in a way that was believable and hilarious. i was surprised to find out that she was having her second child tho, that felt like a twist they just wanted to throw in because why not?! 

while i wanted more of shi-won’s narration in the end, i thought that the characters and dynamics felt genuine. i loved that joon-hee found someone, we don’t really need to know who it is to be happy for him. hak-chan and yoo-jung seem to be on more equal footing now (lol that he’s not her first love). they felt like friends i could sit down with and argue over a meal, and there’s something so special about a show creating a family for you to bask in. 

[feebledetective]

☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀- SoaringPilot-and-LittleWing

|| Flowers Are Nice || No longer Accepting ! ||

[ Oh wORM OKAY THAT’S A LOT BUT!! I’ll do my best to try to keep this as short as I can if I have to, and we’ll start with you, Icy! ]

@soaringpilot-and-littlewing

[ Icyy, you’re as cool as ice!

My pal, my dude- I love you! I honestly think your OC’s are amazing, especially with the backstory you told me through our DM’s. I didn’t think Shoichi’s backstory could be so. Angsty but- I honestly appreciate him more now that I know more about his backstory. Tomoyo too! I like how she gets along with people like Tanaka and Komaeda, possibly even Seiji in an AU of somesort but she’s p cute!!

I have seen a bit of your art and I wanna say it’s cute! It’s old-school, and nostalgic to me, which is really neato! Keep up the great work okay! I enjoy chatting with you whenever I get the energy and time to, you’re really nice and fun to chat with. The antics the siblings can go through with Shuichi is always a nice thing to talk about! You’re a great person, and you deserve a lot of good things to happen to you!

I want to thank you for understanding my situation when I wasn’t feeling too well about a ship. I appreciate that you listened to me and you were really considerate of it, not a lot of people actually do that and I honestly admire that of you.

I know your situation isn’t going well, but I hope for the best, I’m proud you made it this far and don’t give up okay! I’m here for you and I’ll do my best to support you if needed. Thanks for being part of my life, Icy! ]

@subserviiient​

[ MCDONALD’S SNAKE- FOUND THIS ONE IN MY HAPPY MEAL!

Snake, I know we haven’t done a lot just yet, but you’ve?? Been so kind to me?? Listen you’re!! Really easy to approach, and you’re really funny honestly ! I’d love to get to know you more because you really do seem like a nice and fun pal! A grimace stan too!

I can never ever stop my McDonalds joke with you and I’m really sorry in advance if it gets old- I can stop if you want kjHNMK

I may not know a lot about Ensemble Stars, but I really like your portrayal of her. Let her mom Shuichi because he needs a mom…Whether it’s in his normal verse of Idol AU- I love the things you write about her too and she does make me laugh from time to time!

Honestly, you make me laugh, I’m so glad that we got to talk at some point and I’d love to get to know you more! So far you made me combust from the sweet things you said and I’ll die one day. 

Keep up the great work and thanks for everything, Snake! We got Grimace to thank for our friendship~ ] 

@pressmyluck​

[ Okay, I know you’re likely not going to see this now but I hope one day you’ll see this. I know your situation right now is probably not good, especially since I haven’t heard from you in a while but I am hoping you’re safe and okay because you really do deserve it!

You’re a sweet angel, you’ve supported me throughout the summer and so forth, and you made me learn a few things about myself? Honestly, I think my summer would have been a bit boring without you. I know I met lots of people but you!! You made it fun for me! We made lots of memes together, we supported each other, we talked about Seiji and Ko and just- Fun stuff! I love you!!

Your writing is amazing, this goes for all of your muses. Whether it’s Ko, Hinata, Yoosung…It’s clear that you care for them a lot! I want you to remember that roleplaying is a hobby, if people don’t like your portrayal, they’re a lost for cause. Don’t push yourself a lot, you’re good okay!!

I swear to God if I could I would have given you the biggest hug because you deserve it! Please don’t be hard on yourself for not talking to me, I promise you’re good!! I fully understand your situation and I don’t want to drain you. 

Thank you so much for everything, you precious cinnamon roll, I really hope things are going to be okay on your end and I can’t wait to hear from you again! Take care and stay safe~ ]

@rollingsnowsmasher​

[ Who is this cinnamon roll. 

Becky, please have a seat. You’re?? So nice?? Excuse mE- But for real, you have really helped my mood at some point and seeing your art is really cute. I love it! They really inspire me to try to draw, even if they’re just sketches! I may not know a whole lot of your muse’s fandom but I…I love the child…SHU-BRO IS NICE A AA,,,

Also, I know we only just started talking about this but. Do you wanna know the lvl of excitement I felt when I found out you like/know of one of my special interests- lISTEN YOU AND I ARE GONNA HAVE LOTS OF SILENT HILL TALKS OKAY…I GOT SO HAPPY WHEN I FOUND OUT YOU ALSO ROLEPLAY AS HEATHER!! A AAA YOU ARE A BLESSING TO THIS EARTH- You also know of LISA the Painful I think and I’m just. Combustion. You are a veteran if you played that game, you have my utmost respects- 

You’re such a sweetheart though, for real, you are so nice and I don’t know how or what I did to have someone like you come to my life?? lISTEN I MELTED WHEN YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO HUG ME,,,,SWEETHEART,,,, I’ll send you lots of hugs okay!! 

Beck, you’re wonderful and you are loved plus a huge blessing in planet earth, I don’t want you to ever forget that. It’s a huge pleasure to have you in my life and I’d love to get to know you more and do more with you! ]

@fvkasc​

[ hello new phone, who’s this stinku?

kJHBNSJ I KID I KID BUT- FUKASHAY!! FUKASHE!! I LOVE YOOU, YA MOOF!! This is where I don’t know if I should be serious or be fooling around but I’ll be doing both for the sake of this meme child. 

I LOVE WRITING WITH YOU….IT’S NICE….Honestly I can’t wait to write with you again and you’re getting me midly motivated to try out Hatsune Miku/Calne Ca but I’m too much of a wuss to make a blog for them so they’re exclusively private but ah. 

You’re such a sweetheart though, you made me laugh numerous times and all of the jokes we have together are honestly wild and I LOVE….. You’re a great pal, and I’m really happy to have you around! Love you so much, you egg! ]

@omghoshii​

[ Hey hey, you you, wanna ship 10 boxes at my home-

Bepsi, Bepis, Bep- You’re great! Like, holy hell I feel bad for being dead silent again because I genuinely appreciate your support and your kindness, and I want to apologize about that first. Secondly, have I ever told you that I love your Ryoma? 

It’s nice to finally find someone who also loves and appreciates Ryoma…He’S A GOOD BOI AND DESERVES SO MUCH!! Seeing him happy/feeling okay in our threads are so nice and sweet like you don’t even know how many times I smiled whenever I see him having a nice time!! He deserves a lot!! I can hear his voice in my head when readin the dialogs and you’re doing an excellent job roleplaying him. I love reading your stuff and your writing is- :insert okay hand emoji: :insert 100 emoji:

As mentioned above, I love your support and kindness. I enjoyed chatting with you and I stated this 1000000 times now but I love your hUMOR KAJSHD– I also love your art too!! It’s really cute and unique!! Would love to do more with you and I hope you’re having a proper sleeping schedule. Because I swear sometimes you would sleep when it’s 1-3PM or 11PM I– I think once I saw you went to bed at 10AM??? I COULD BE WRONG THO DON’T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT BUT- SLEEP……

I love ya, dude! ]  

@liersymphcny​​

[ Ichiii you’re gR8-! 

We don’t have lots of threads going on and we haven’t spoke a whole lot as of recently but you’re great and I appreciate you! I love the dedication you put with your muses like- god damn that’s a lot of them how do you manage man– They’re all really good, and don’t think for a moment that your portrayal isn’t good because it iS!! IT IS AND THAT’S WHY I WANNA ROLEPLAY WITH YOU!

Your edits are also rEAL gud!! I love seeing them so keep up the excellent work okay!! You’re a really sweet and fun friend too, I enjoy chatting with you and I hope you’re doing well, hang in there, pal! It’s real nice having you around and thank you so much for everything, Ich! ]

@its-all-in-the-cards​​

[ scree lENA!! MY CHILD!! 

We haven’t done a lot yet, but listen, your interpretation of Celeste and Junko are spot-on!! I love how well you write them, and sorry in advance that we don’t have lots of threads going on-?? I’d love to have our muses interact more even if I’m clueless when it comes to ideas but it’s always nice to see you!! 

Talking to you is also really nice, you’re thoughtful, you’re caring and you’re just a lovely person okay!! I saw your cosplays and I LOVE….15/10 LISTEN I- YOU’RE DOING A FASCINATING JOB KEEP IT UP OKAY!! 

I appreciate you, Lena! Thank you so much for the nice things you say and take care! It’s Love On Lena! ]

[sparklyjojos]

[THE CHILDISH DARKNESS Recaps, Chapters 3-5]

[tw: self-harm, rape, gore, mentions of underage sex, a dog is killed]

---

THREE

Yurio didn’t want to come to Hashimoto’s funeral, instead opting to watch the procession from the town’s library. Saburou barely managed to keep her from jumping through the window in despair and withstood the kicking and biting that followed. 

“It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright,” he chanted both to calm her down and to show forgiveness.

Yurio, now staying in the Natsukawa house, had a tendency to self-harm. Her arms were covered in scars, and she still had a bit of pencil lead stuck in her neck where she had stabbed herself once. Shirou and his girlfriend Atena both had medical training, so they helped with patching up her wounds, and Shirou took it upon himself to get the girl proper therapy. The therapy at first just shifted her behaviour from self-harm to rage against others. Sometimes she’d blame Saburou for not letting her die, sometimes yelled at him to go die already.

One night Saburou awoke to see Yurio standing by his bed with a knife, but after a tense moment she broke down, crawled into the bed and hugged him.

“It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright,” he chanted again, unsure what else to do other than to let her fall asleep next to him.

Yurio disappeared next morning. Saburou found her at the Mouryou Pond, the characteristic round lake in the mountains where they had first met, and finally had a proper conversation about her and Hashimoto.

The two teens had met through an online chat and gravitated towards each other because of their similar alienation from peers, as well as their obsession with UFOs which were said to sometimes appear in Nishi Akatsuki. The teens would sneak out together at night and observe the sky for hours. Even though the only thing they talked about were UFOs, they became an item and even started having sex the previous year (which Saburou was now internally screaming about, because dear God, that’s a 13-year-old with a 16-year-old, and they didn’t even have a connection other than through some fictional nonsense).

Pregnancy happened, but Yurio’s outraged parents quietly got rid of the problem. They didn’t know about Hashimoto and he never learned he could have become a father. The teens continued to meet in secret, sinking further and further into their own world. After the Jawakutora case, Yurio got the idea of using the points of the spiral for a new purpose: creating a letter to the aliens. The image of two people on the plaque made it look almost like she and Hashimoto were the only two people in the entire universe.

Yurio said crying that maybe she’d never actually liked Hashimoto, maybe she’d be fine with anyone else who would stick around her, “I’m sorry, Takeshi, I’m sorry!” Maybe these self-accusations she was repeating to herself were yet another form of self-harm.

Saburou recalled finding Hashimoto’s body. Cut off arms, legs, head and trunk strewn on a table in the storehouse of the Nishi Akatsuki middle school. The message left next to it said: DEATH GOD JAWAKUTORA.

--

Yurio continued to act violently towards herself and others to the point Atena and Shirou had problems keeping her in check. She ran away repeatedly, she asked Hashimoto for forgiveness one second and badmouthed him the next, she broke Saburou’s nose with a thrown soda can.

After that last event, Saburou stumbled upon his old friend Sarue Kaede on his way back from the doctor.

“You should put that child in a proper hospital,” Kaede insisted. Saburou thought that it’d be probably the right thing to do, but he wanted to let Yurio live in a normal house.

--

Shirou had kept it secret from others until now, but in the face of the new case he had to voice his suspicions about Jirou being the one responsible for all the Jawakutora attacks, and/or hiding under the name Kawaji Natsurou.

Saburou was skeptical. Kawaji Natsurou didn’t look... wild enough in the photos to be a grown-up Jirou, even if he could have gotten a plastic surgery. However, Kawaji’s personal documents from before he had entered university had all gone missing and nobody knew anything about his family.

Shirou wanted to believe that it meant their formerly violent older brother had turned over a new leaf.

--

One day Yurio ran away somewhere again and couldn’t be found. Saburou returned home exhausted and went to sleep in his mother’s room, which always helped him relax.

This time he couldn’t sleep. He felt a presence outside the room, heard someone’s footsteps approaching closer and then a child sobbing. It wasn’t Yurio.

A small girl was crying right by his bed, her hair cut in traditional okappa style, her ghostly face completely white. She gave petrified Saburou a look as if she knew him, then turned back and left the bedroom.

Trying to follow her weeping, Saburou went downstairs to the kitchen, opened the trapdoor to the underground food storage, and found Yurio sleeping there.

--

Later that night, Saburou had a strange dream. Above the Mouryou Pond hovered a big glass box containing Kawaji Natsurou, or maybe Jirou. The man kept calling Saburou ‘Clarice’ and eventually turned into Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter, reciting his lines from the book Hannibal. Saburou answered with the appropriate line of Clarice Starling.

It may look like I’m closed in this glass case, Jirou / Hopkins / Hannibal said, but depending on your viewpoint, the glass case is simultaneously closing in the rest of the world, including you.You can’t tell which side of the glass is “inside” and which one is “outside”.

Then came the last scene from Hannibal -- with Krendler duct-taped to a chair, about to have his brain eaten -- except the person in the chair was another Saburou.

Would you like to say grace before our meal, Mr. Krendler?

When Saburou woke up in the still dark room, somehow he still felt trapped by a glass box without an inside or an outside.

 ----

FOUR

Maybe it never reached the extent of Jirou’s crimes, but Saburou also did some horrible things in his life.

In the last year of middle school his teacher Ms. Yoshida got married to another teacher, Mr. Kumono. Maybe precisely because of this fact Saburou got interested, planned carefully for some time on how to corner the prey in a vulnerable moment, and smoothly reenacted the plan to initiate sex with her. Then with help of his three friends (Fujita, Kato and Nakayama) Saburou beat up Mr. Kumono, tied him up in the basement and told him in details about the sex with Yoshida, all of which culminated in Saburou raping the woman in front of her husband and wondering why on earth his three friends were sobbing all he while.

It’s like there was some sadistic snake coiling inside him, always ready to hurt other people for no reason. He always intentionally chose to sleep with girlfriends and wives of his friends (including Fujita, Kato and Nakayama).

Was there really a difference between people and animals, considering how much libido could drive them?

The Fujitas had a black dog called Makki that was quite active in terms of attempting procreation. Saburou took this dog into the mountains, killed it with a knife, cut off its genitalia, and buried the body. Why did he feel the need to do that? Maybe he was projecting himself onto the dog, so the one he really wanted to kill was himself, he wasn’t sure.

Could one simultanously love and hate himself? Was it love or hate he felt towards his brothers and parents, his friends and their girlfriends?

Kaede always told him that he was stuck ‘trying out’ this whole relationship thing while not wanting to commit -- maybe because he didn’t believe he was capable of love -- and that he should try to meet a decent single woman, and was his relationship misshaps really that different than what was between his parents?

--

When he was nine, Saburou would sometimes sleep in one bed with his mother. Sometimes when she seemed sad, she’d embrace him and say: you’re the only one mom loves in this family, not dad or Ichirou or Jirou or Shirou, and you only love mom too, right? He would start falling asleep in the comfortable darkness, and she would say: never go away from me. But she didn’t really say anything when he grew up and left for university.

--

Kaede was having a streak of unsuccessful relationships and often meeting Saburou for drinks. He told her that she should be looking for a honest, loyal and benevolent man instead of all these idiots. She proposed dating each other, but Saburou just spouted the same advice, and they exchanged friendly drunk banter like usual.

--

One time in the hospital, Saburou was lying next to his still comatose mother and thinking.

She had been almost lost and brought back to life by doctors 37 times already. Maybe they should let her pass away? But Saburou knew he could never do it. He wanted to hear her voice again. He had crawled into her hospital bed to feel a little of that nostalgic safety.

At this moment he got a call from Yurio, who joked that he shouldn’t try to molest his own mother, and Saburou actually got aroused at the prospect.

A little later Shirou called Saburou to tell him about a new murder (and scolded him for using a cell phone inside a hospital, so Saburou had to leave the building). The case that had started with Hashimoto’s death claimed a few other victims: a man impaled on a stake driven from his mouth to bottom, and two people found in a condition suggesting they were repeatedly thrown to the ground from somewhere high up. The bodies were all found near elementary schools in nearby towns. The same was true about the newest case, with the victim having all his bones broken. Shirou asked Saburou to look into the possibility of the murders being related to old execution methods.

Saburou returned to the hospital room and discovered that his mother had suddenly disappeared. Nobody saw her leave, even if the nurses arrived to the room immediately after the alarm went off. Even a thourough search didn’t help. A true locked room situation.

While Saburou knew he didn’t have anything resembling Shirou’s detective talent, he forced himself to think.

There had been a moment in which he went to buy a newspaper, then returned to his mother’s room for just a brief moment before Shirou yelled at him to please get outside with the phone. In that brief moment, his mother’s face seemed younger than it should. When everybody was frantically searching for her later, Saburou briefly spotted Yurio in the crowd, but it didn’t really register until now.

Yurio and his mother had switched places, allowing the latter to escape.

He found Yurio on the roof, still in white patient clothes. She explained that Mrs. Natsukawa had woken up last night and asked for help in escaping somewhere where no one would find her. They spoke very briefly, but Mrs. Natsukawa said she’s leaving Saburou in Yurio’s hands, and that Saburou was a little strange, but a good child.

-----

FIVE

When the Natsukawa brothers were children, on winter nights they would gather around their mother and ask for stories about her and their father’s younger years. One of the stories felt different than others and went like this.

--

There was once a girl taking a bath alone. She walked out to the hallway to turn off the light before returning to the bathtub, first putting a hand in to make sure no monster was lurking underneath the surface.

The world outside the window was completely dark and seemingly connected into one being with the darkness inside, enveloping and beckoning her. The girl liked the feeling of calm it brought. It felt like her skin was no longer a barrier of her existence, as if she was a part of the darkness, as if the darkness was her true self. She would hold her breath underwater as long as she could until she could hear the heartbeat pounding in her ears. The sound of her own life.

Around that time, the girl was in love with old jazz the likes of Coleman Hawkins, and liked to listen to Buck Clayton’s trumpet the most. No other music captivated her that much. People around her couldn’t really understand her love. Even her jazz loving boyfriend who seemed to like it didn’t understand it like she did.

One Christmas Eve, the girl and her boyfriend were walking through a dark city when a black high-end car stopped nearby and an unusually tall man was forcibly pushed outside. The man was half-naked, his shivering body covered in countless scars. A woman in the car threw the rest of his clothes on the wet ground, which he picked up only after she disappeared in the distance. The man then left for the nearest phone booth.

Before the girl could realize, she had already walked away from her boyfriend towards this man. She managed to catch his name and address from the phone call. When the boyfriend tried to pull her away, she let go of him again.

Something had changed within her the instant she’d noticed that mysterious man’s scars. It’s not that she suddenly fell in love. She couldn’t quite explain the change to her boyfriend.

That evening, when she was taking a bath again, she discovered she couldn’t become a part of the darkness anymore. Maybe when she had looked at that man’s scars, she was wounded as well, scarred in some unseen part of herself. She found the man later, and the weird change stopped.

The sound of jazz never returned to her; the sound of Buck Clayton’s trumpet had already been broken.

--

But in reality their mother’s story was much shorter, and talked about how she first saw her future husband on that Christmas Eve, and how she later found him again at a political rally. The children couldn’t really understand everything yet.

It’s a curious thing, she said, how just seeing somebody else’s scars can wound you, how it may change you and make you grow closer with another.

Maybe their father’s scars wounded them and changed them too.

[>>>NEXT>>>]

[lonelypond]

IDOL PROTECTION PROGRAM: Driving Lessons

Love Live, NicoMaki, 1.1K, 14/?

Idol Nico and Doctor Maki have taken their daughters, the name Kurosawa, and fled Tokyo and fame to raise their family in a quiet seaside resort. Characters not mine, shenanigans are, your mileage may vary.

Summary: Nico's excited about teaching Dia to drive, but Dia seems a bit too calm.

DRIVING LESSONS:

Everyone was home in the Kurosawa household, enjoying a cool Spring afternoon, having tea outside in the garden. Ruby and Maki had their heads bent over a game of backgammon, Nico was curled up on a bench, smiling at her two favorite redheads, and Dia was leaning against her favorite tree reading.

Ruby laughed as she rolled the doubles she needed for the second time in as many turns and Maki groaned theatrically, not fond of losing even with her daughters. Nico wondered if there would be a comeback from her determined wife and turned to their firstborn.

“Now that you’re 17, Dia, we’ll have to start thinking about teaching you to drive. Guess I should take the NicoMobile out and make sure it’s running properly.” The NicoMobile was a Daihatsu Copen mini sportscar with a custom pink paint job and a top of the line stereo system older than both of their daughters ages added together.

Dia froze but didn’t look up from her book. Maki watched curiously as Nico got more excited, up on her feet, organizing things around the tea house. “I remember when I taught Cocoro in it. Every Yazawa has learned how to drive in it, even…” Here Nico bounced behind Maki, “your Mama.”

That got Dia to look up from her book. As Maki rolled her eyes and prepared for the usual “you’re a Nishikino, Nico-chan” rant. But Nico didn’t stop to breathe in her enthusiasm.

“We used to go for drives all the time, when Nico wasn’t on tour and your Mama needed a break from her books. So Maki-chan practiced for her license under my extremely responsible tutelage.” Nico hugged Maki, who muttered something about distractions, saying that sort of thing with a straight face, and misdefining responsible. Nico ignored it all. Dia was still processing. Ruby continued to plot her next moves.

“Really?” Finally Dia spoke, sounding shocked.

“Really.” Nico kissed the top of Maki’s head as the redhead fumbled the dice, “Maki learned a lot in that car.”

Maki blushed at high school memories she was NEVER sharing with her daughters. Cocoro and Cocoa already knew too much thanks to an eavesdropping habit. Time to swerve the conversation out of Nico’s control, “There’s no rush for Dia to learn, Nico-chan. There’s bikes and buses. And I don’t mind driving her around when she needs it.”

Dia closed her book and picked up the tea tray, ready to take it into the main house, “No rush at all, Mom. Isn’t the car in Tokyo, anyway?”

Ruby’s rolls continued their streak and she gleamed happily as she took her last piece off the board, “I win, Mama!”

“I want a rematch.” Maki grumbled as Nico cheered for Ruby, car talk forgotten for a moment.

The next evening, Maki had asked Dia to accompany her on the koto so they could practice a traditional composition she’d been working on. When Dia had decided to learn a Japanese instrument, Maki had decided to trade her Western flute for a shakuhachi so she and Dia could bond over music.

For an hour, the two of them played together, working over the piece, Maki taking Dia’s suggestions on the best way to solve a few of the less smooth sections. When they took a break, Maki stood and stretched. Playing a flute was so different from the piano. Picking it up again was always a challenge. But she treasured the chance to create something together with Dia, while Nico and Ruby were in the kitchen, putting together a family feast for the evening meal. Maki would never get tired of these rare, quiet weekends she and Nico could spend with their girls. Too soon, Dia would be off to college.

“Dia?” Maki sat down next her daughter, fidgeting with her flute.

“What’s wrong, Mama?” Dia picked up on Maki’s hesitancy and wondered what was bothering her.

“Why don’t you really want to learn to drive?” Maki blew a few quick notes, not making eye contact.

Dia played a few notes to match Maki’s.

“I won’t tell your Mom, if you’re worried about that. You can talk to me.” Maki offered, putting an arm around Dia’s shoulders.

Dia paused, then took in a deep breath and turned, looking straight at Maki, “Do I have to learn on the Copen. It’s so tiny and....” Dia frowned, “cutesy.”

Maki snorted, doubling over, her grip on her daughter tightening, Dia being pulled along with the movement. “You don’t...want...to..drive...the Nicomobile?!?!?!”

“Ruby couldn’t talk about anything else last night, how excited she’d be when she was old enough, how ‘adorable’ it was.” Dia leaned into her mother, “And I...I love Mom…”

“I know you do.” Maki smiled, hugging her daughter.

“And I love hearing her stories....and I loved when I was a child and she drove me to Tokyo to fashion shows in it.” Dia fidgeted, beginning to retune the koto.

“But you don’t want to be the next Yazawa to learn in it.” Maki glanced toward the house, wondering how to smooth this over.

“No.” Dia’s answer was muted but firm. “None of my clothes would work.”

Maki didn’t laugh as hard as she would have if Nico had said that. And Nico would have said that...and had, about many things. Just not the NicoMobile. Maki kept her response to a slight grin and a soft chuckle.

Dia glanced up, green eyes worried under her bangs, “Mama?”

“We’ll talk to your grandmother. And maybe Santa-san. Surely we can come up with something.”

“Really?”

Nico’s voice came from the house, perky as ever, “Come on in, you two. We’ve made most of your favorites.”

Which meant Maki was getting some form of pasta and Dia was getting her favorite matcha and chocolate pudding dessert.

Maki stood, pulling her daughter up with her, “I promise. I’ll take care of it. Just humor your Mom for now.”

Dia nodded earnestly and Maki let her lead the way into the house while Maki considered if a nostalgic drive in the Copen would put Nico in a good enough mood that Maki could suggest that her parents wanted to to give Dia a new car for Christmas. She’d have to talk to Rin about hosting a sleepover for Dia, Ruby, and Kaito soon. The children hadn’t gotten together for a few months and that would give her an evening free to persuade Nico.

And with another road trip in Nico’s beloved (and adorable, not that Maki would tell Nico or Dia that) sportscar planned, Maki bounded toward the house, ready for a taste of Nico’s food made with love. And tomatoes.

A/N: I'm about 2K into the next Casual Lunacy chapter, it's too hot, politics here is full of f*c$wits, and I needed something fun. So I wrote this.Vroom ; )

[stephicness]

Fantasy Daddy Simulator -- Final Fantasy XV x Dream Daddy Headcanons (Part 1)

Okay, I’m far too impatient to wait until this is all finished. SO HERE! Have the first part to the FFXV x Dream Daddy headcanons. c: It’s fun to write, that’s for sure, and it’s cool to think about the fun scenario of all these single dads. I hope you guys enjoy the day I go on our Fantasy Daddies though! (So weird to say that, not gonna lie...)

PREGAME NOTES

Let’s add about 15-20 years on these boys. Give them time for the children to grow older.

Let’s also say they live in that cul-de-sac area just like from Dream Daddy.

And the children are just me throwing dumb thoughts your way. Because yay for thinking up of headcanons (and child characters unmentioned!).

FANTASY DADDY SIMULATOR -- FFXV x Dream Daddy (Part 1)

Featuring: Noctis Lucis Caelum, Prompto Argentum, Ignis Scientia, and Gladiolus Amicitia

Noctis Lucis Caelum – Divorced, Father of Three Boys

Likes: Fishing, Sleeping In, Telling Stories About The Good Ol’Days Dislikes: Veggies, Cooking Heathy Things For His Kids, Not Being Able to Fish or Sleep

He was married to Lunafreya Nox Fleuret as part of an arranged marriage ordeal. But as time passed, they came to realize that they never really got the live they life they wanted to when they were immediately married at twenty-years old.

So they mutually divorced, yet they still remain very big and important figures in their kids lives, despite having a shared custody over them.

Noctis takes the kids for a month and then they alternate back and forth. But luckily for Noctis, Lunafreya just lives up the road, so they boys can really just pick where they want to go.

The boys ultimately decide that they’d rather live with their dad more than their mom. No offense to Lunafreya, really! They’re just, you know, more okay with Noctis being a chill dad than with Lunafreya being a proper lady mom.

Noctis is the kind of dad who will pretend to be asleep until noon on his days off, refusing to get up even when his little boys would jump on him and demand his attention.

Or demand food. Can’t they just make ramen like how Uncle Gladio taught them? Damn... Now he’d have to break out that emergency cookbook Ignis made him.

He likes to think his boys are good kids, but one would rather study for college and no social, one would rather socialize and not study for college, and the last one… Well, he wants to get into theatre.

The eldest son wants to follow after Noctis’s footsteps and own the family business as well. Just like how Noctis’s father did and his father did, etc.

Noctis tells a lot of stories about Regis to his kids, because he too misses his dad.

Besides the old nostalgic stories from when Noctis was a kid, he likes to take the boys out fishing. A lot.

The boys hate it, despite the middle son being a natural champ at it. So instead, they just sit on the boat, listening to Noctis talk about the story where he caught the Leige of the Lake for the fifteenth time. No way his dad caught that fish, but they’d like him have his moment.

And then, of course, the kids just get bored and jump into the water to go swimming instead, scaring all the fish away.

Noctis lets out a heavy sigh, but he takes off his chocobo cap and his vest before he jumps after them. He doesn’t have time to catch fish anymore because he has to catch his boys instead.

  Prompto Argentum – Donor Dad, Surrogate Father of One Boy

Likes: Photography, Hip Music, Chocobos Dislikes: Things That Cause Him to Panic, Bugs, High Places, His Creepy Neighbor

Well, he never got married exactly to have kids, and he never really banged a chick and knocked her up either. He was really good about being protected with how strict his foster dad was back then, and he… Well… Had some commitment issues with someone else usually on his mind.

But when he answered the door to a blond-haired, blue eyed, nearly identical version to himself looking boy standing at his door and shouting ‘Daddy!,’ Prompto screamed and slammed the door shut.

He then spent the next two hours calming down a crying little six year old with whatever he had around his bachelor’s pad. It ended up being Prompto’s collection of Choco-bonanza on DVD.

But with the boy distracted, he was able to check the boy’s back for something that would help him figure out why there was a six year old on his doorstep. Anything to explain why the hell there was a six year old on his doorstep.

It turns out, there was a note from a name he recognized: Aranea Highwind. A simple note that made the point very clear. “Look after our kid for a few days or I’ll fucking kill you.” The little lipstick mark in the corner was hardly anything comforting.

So it was up to Prompto to make sure that the little boy was taken care of, fed, was able to go outside and potty- Wait, that’s describing a dog. Prompto had no idea what the hell he was doing.

But the boy was relatively easy to manage, especially when Prompto decided to just take him to see Noctis and his kids. That is, until the Caelum boys decided to steal his chocobo doll and got him to cry for another two hours again.

But luckily, Prompto was able to bring his son over to Gladiolus’s. And since Gladiolus was the master at handling children, he easily gave Prompto all of the tips on making sure the little kiddo was alright. Thank god for the Gladdy Daddy! (He never thought he’d actually say that aloud.)

Despite Prompto having a hard time figuring it out at first, he really was a good dad and really grew to enjoy the kid. It made him wish he really was a dad.

And he only realized it more when he opened the door and saw Aranea standing there with Cindy, the little boy screaming. “Mommy! Mommy!” before dashing to his two mothers and kissing them both.

As it turns out, the sperm donation that Prompto made a few years back when he was strapped for cash was given to Aranea’s wife, Cindy. He was surprised that the two of them actually got married, thinking that it was only just them being good friends.

But after seeing just how attached their son was, Cindy and Aranea asked Prompto if he wanted to be apart of their son’s life more as his surrogate father. Prompto ended up holding back tears before he nodded and hugged all three of them.

Prompto ended up becoming a really important figure in his son’s life, sometimes having his son stay with him (after he child-proofed his place officially) and visiting his son on the holidays. He’s proud of his boy. Even prouder when his son took an interest in photography and wants to be a professional. Just like his dad.

  Ignis Scientia – Adoptive Father, Father of Two Girls

Likes: Volunteer Work, Cooking, Working, Sarcasm Dislikes: Cleaning Up Messes, When People Touch His Coffee, People That Bully His Daughters

For a man so devoted to his work as Noctis’s secretary, it’s a wonder why Ignis ever decided to have adopted anyone in the first place. He was married to his work, extremely concerned about the well-being of his living space and the like. Why kids?

Well, Ignis is a man who, despite often being busy with work, keeps himself busy with other things – especially volunteer work. He volunteers specifically at the homeless shelter to cook people a nice meal whenever he can drop by from his busy schedule.

And he just so happened to have met two young kids there as he was working, one eager to eat as much as they could because they loved Ignis’s cooking and the other just barely eating anything beyond a piece of bread. Curious about the girls, he asked the overseer about them.

It turns out, the two children were disowned by their parents after their son declared that he didn’t really feel like being a boy. His older sister followed him and they ran away from home together. They’ve been out on the streets ever since.

Ignis didn’t want to describe it as pity, but he knew what it was like to feel alone, especially having been adopted by his uncle when he was much younger. And to think they were disowned because one of them was just trying to discover who they wanted to be…

So Ignis befriended the two kids, gaining their trust slowly with food and conversation until they always asked whether or not Ignis would show up so they can hang out together. And as time passed, Ignis proposed the question: “Would you like me to adopt you both?”

The answer was almost instantaneous, and Ignis – to everyone’s surprise – because the father of two very beautiful girls. He tries his best to be supportive of his two daughters, especially as he’s helping one of them continue their transition. He loves them both dearly.

Usually if Ignis isn’t working, he’s usually cleaning up after his two typhoons for daughters. One is messy in terms of the sheer amount of clothing he spoiled her with and the other is messy in terms of food and plates being littered over their desk and couch area. It gives him something to do, but goodness…

Ignis’s dinner parties that he hosts for the neighbors are a real hoot too. He goes all out with it to make it fancy and his daughters usually are the ones to help him decorate the house to make it look nice. That is, until they try using his coffee cups for the guests. Hell no. They get the non-special cups.

His daughters usually get along with the neighbors, though the eldest daughter had some serious issues with the Caelum boys growing up. They would bully her and try to put gum in her hair for being a ‘nerd.’

Ironically enough, later in life, Ignis’s eldest eventually marries Noctis’s older son. Odd…

Meanwhile his youngest is doing well and has been recovering from her emotional trauma for before she and her sister were adopted by Ignis. She’s doing well and even started dating one of the Ghiranze boys. Dinners are awkward though as Ignis purposely sharpens his knives while talking to his daughter’s boyfriend.

His daughters are princesses, after all. If anyone tries to make his princesses cry, hell will break loose.

  Gladiolus Amicitia – Two(/Three)-Times Divorced, Father of Four Girls and Two Boys

Likes: Working Out, Teaching Literature, Playing With His Kids Dislikes: Divorces, Doing Paperwork/Grading, Arrogant Little Assholes

For a guy who’s the king of charm, he really has a hard time trying to stay in a proper marriage. It’s not because of him, remarkably. He just has some pretty rough choice in women.

The first one, where his eldest son and daughter were born, was when his wife flatout just decided to run off with her ex-boyfriend and leave the kids behind with him. The second was a mutual divorce as his wife decided that she needed to pursue her career, but she’d visit when she could. It’s rare that she does, so Gladiolus takes care of the twins he had with this wife.

There is a third time too, but technically they didn’t marry. Instead, he and his fiancé stayed fiances another set of twin girls. And then his fiancé broke-up with him and ended up wandering down a darker path he didn’t want his kids going through.

Yup. Gladiolus had some pretty bad taste in women. But that didn’t stop him from adoring his children.

Yeah, the family is a busy one, and it’s really rough for a single dad to take care of it all, but he’s had six kids to practice on. Four those kids being twins of some kid too, so he’s extremely skilled at juggling children.

Quite literally in one case. He felt awful about it, but middle twins still laugh about it and the small scar on his middle daughter’s forehead. Apparently it looks like a tonberry with a ninja sword.

You think he’d have crashed and burned by now, but Gladiolus is the dad of the year! At least, that’s what his kids like to declare. He just got lucky with his boss, Cor, really liking kids. So on the days where Gladiolus couldn’t get Iris to babysit, Cor would just casually just keep lecturing on his studies with twins in his arms.

In exchange for Gladiolus grading papers all day.

Compared to a lot of parents, Gladiolus tries his best to be a more lenient parent when it comes to these whole ‘changing generation’ type of things. He’s gotta keep with the times, after all, if he wants to keep with the kids.

But he still has a hard time sometimes coming to terms with the fact that his second eldest daughter is dating another girl. It was shocking to him, considering how she always had such macho boyfriends. But her dating a girl wasn’t exactly that surprising either.

What was surprising was noticing that Gladiolus’s daughter was dating Ravus’s daughter. Tall, scary, never smiling. Yup. Definitely Ravus’s kid.

But so long as his daughter was happy, he would be too. Besides, usually he would be the one giving death stares to his daughter’s boyfriends, but Ravus’s daughter was scary as hell. Damn…

Besides, he had to make sure that his two youngest daughters weren’t trying to stuff the dog in the drawers again. He’d rather not open up his underwear drawer and have to see Behemoth (the wiener dog) napping in there.

[animudabadee]

Made In Abyss: The Story

Oh man.. I have so much to say. *no spoilers in first paragraph*

I apologize in advance if I left out anything important like Kiyui, I’m trying to get at what impacted me most.  Note: I also apologize for switching back and forth between “They” and “She” on Pronouns for Nanachi. I know I did that a couple times and forgot to correct it. The general consensus is that Nanachi is female but No one really knows and its never told in the show so the pronouns **should** be ‘they’ but I’m very tired. I’ve been writing this for upwards of 11 hours now (with breaks) and I cba to go and fix it.  I’m going to explain this story in grave detail in this post, and explain how I feel about it in another. 

So first let me tell you what this anime is about without spoilers, to see if you wanna watch it yourself before I start spoiling. The main character is a young girl (12) named Riko. She lives in an orphanage which teaches their students to cave raid. How that being said, her entire city/town thing has a huge never-ending abyss in the middle of it. This abyss is what they are descending and raiding. How far you can go down is determined by the color whistle you wear. This is because as you descend the abyss, the further and further you go down, the harder it is to come up. This is called ‘The curse of the abyss’. Riko quickly learns that her mother, a legendary white whistle, is possibly still alive down in the abyss. After learning this, Riko decides to go after her, knowing fully well that she will never return to her home-town, or see any of her friends again. Now these are main things in the anime, that everyone knows, and they contain no spoilers as to how or why.  This is one of the most screwed up, saddest most terrible anime’s I’ve seen. And I love it so much. Terrible as in tragic and heartbreaking, and I thought this was going to be one of the cutest anime’s I’ve seen. I was WRONG. Please do not watch this anime if you are easily triggered. 

***SPOILERS AHEAD***

Okay man, I don’t even know where to begin. I’m probably going to whizz past the first like 9 episodes because the last 3 are where the story gets real. I’ll dive right in to say that Riko, while in the abyss, Riko gets attacked by a creature known as the  Crimson Splitjaw. She tries to run away, but to no avail, the Spitjaw corners her. After the Spitjaw corners her this huge flash of light burns through everything in the vicinity and quickly scares off the spitjaw. Riko has no idea what just happened, and she ends up stumbling accross a boy, who seems to be a robot, seemingly the same age. His name came to be Reg. He has no recolection of who he is, or why he saved her. 

Riko and her friends manage to sneak Reg into the orphanage and eventually trick its staff into thinking he is an orphan. Shortly after this, Riko recieves word that her Mother, Lyza the Annihilator’s, white whistle had been found, along with a couple of note pages. One of these notes was addressed to Riko, and it simply said “At the Netherworld’s bottom, I’ll be waiting.” So in short, Riko said “fuck it” and was like “I’m going to look for my mom” and Reg was like:

(sorry I had to, no more out of context memes)  Riko’s friends help guide her to an area of the abyss that isn’t heavily guarded and that her and Reg and his stretchy arm can descend into the abyss. The thing is, they have to get to the second layer before anyone finds them, otherwise they’ll take them back. When a red whistle (basically the lowest level, which they are) descends to the second layer, its considered suicide, and they stop searching.  I don’t remember when, but I do remember that at some point, Riko finds out that her mother actually gave birth to her in the abyss, and that they had to use a curse warding box to get her out alive. Only 2 white whistles in her mother’s squad made it. Her, and Ozen, the Immovable.  I also remember a black whistle telling them about Ozen living at a seeker camp in the Second Layer, the inverted forest. 

Upon reaching the seeker camp, Reg decides to throw his stretchy arms up to the balcony of the seeker camp to try to ascend (obviously, this will have some effect on riko) when someone grabs his hands. Who else but Ozen? Ozen offers them to stay the night with her at the camp while subordinate, Marulk (also a child) stays with them and hangs out with them to gather some information.That night, while they are asleep, Riko ends up needing to use the bathroom. Upon getting up to try to find it, she sees a creature that looks human, but is definitely missing parts. (I tried to upload a picture but Tumblr said no.) After she discovers this thing, she obviously gets spooked, as any 12 year old would, and runs back to the room and crawls in bed with Reg. The morning after, Ozen overhears Riko telling Marulk and Reg what she saw, then proceeds to tell Riko if she can’t handle the truth, to Forget what she saw completely. RIko being Riko, obviously follows her.

On her way up the stairs Ozen  went on to tell Riko that since Lyza’s whistle reached the surface, she is dead. The journey Riko is on to meet her mother is over. and she foudn the Whistle and Notes at a grave.   It is then that Ozen takes them to the curse warding box relic, where she explains more about Riko’s birth and the box. Riko was born stillborn, which means she was born dead, essentially, if you don’t know. But, because of Lyza’s love for her child, she wants to take her late daughter back up the abyss with her, and didn’t want her body to be deformed, so she used the curse warding box. Little did she know that this actually had resurecting powers, and brought Riko back to life from being stillborn. That monster Riko saw, was the result of Ozen putting her dead, cooked, dinner inside the box just to see what would happen.  Ozen mentioned that once brought back, the mysterious thing tried to get to the bottom of the abyss, just like Riko has the longing to reach the bottom.

“Whats interesting is, as soon as you began to move, you, as well as my meat dish, attempted to head to the center of the abyss. Why do you think that is? You of all people might have some thoughts on that. Youre essentially the same of that festering piece of meat.” were here exact words. Marulk then asks her to stop, but she doesn’t. Riko asks “Why would you say that to me?” And Ozen’s response is “Isn’t it obvious? I despise you and your half dead rotten soul” while reaching for Riko. Reg then stops her hand, andddd ozen proceeds to beat him to a bloody pulp. Riko tries to step in but with literaly just a flick of her wrist, Ozen sends riko flying accross the room. As a last resort to save Riko, Reg tries to use his incinerator, but Ozen, strong as she is, makes him point it at Riko, and at a last second he tfrees himself and shoots it up at the ceiling. Now, this royally pissed me off, as it should. She just beat up two children. Who does that??!

Reg passes out, as he does when he uses his incinerator, and wakes up to find a couple of random cave raiders with him, along side Riko and Marul, after Ozen pounds his metal... toppy, thing.. back into his skull. lol Riko obviously in distress hugs Reg crying hysterically.  One of the cave raiders then Reveals why Ozen did what she did. “I know you wanted to test Lyza’s kid and all but you kinda overdid it.” Reg is then outraged and called her fiasco a “sick act”. Her exact reply is “you had to be tested. And if I don’t go all out, I won’t get the point accross. You must know that I hate childish tricks.” And further goes on she never had any intention to actually kill either of them, just that no matter how hard she went, Reg wouldn’t break, so she got more and more into trying to do it. (She’s batshit crazy from the curse of the abyss) “The creatures that inhabit the deeper part of the abyss, they are going to be far more cunning and harsh than I am.” 

“If you continue going on in your current state, you’re going to end up as some poor creatures meal, or you’ll just end up as a bloody stain on the ground somewhere. That said, there’s no guarantee you wont end up the same while I try to beat you into shape. Oh thats right. There is one thing I was decieving you about. That grave I spoke of earlier. There’s no one buried there. Did you think I wouldn’t dig it up to see for myself? Lyza IS waiting for you down there, and you at least need to give it a shot.”  

Then, a cutscene appears showing Ozen and Lyza having a conversationwhile Lyza is just a small red whistle. “I’ve already kicked you twice and you keep coming back. What an unusual little kid you are.” Then some more dialogue not really story important(I don’t think) happens and Lyza asks Ozen to be her mentor. 

Then another appears, when Lyza is bragging to Ozen about her Black whistle where Lyza says “Ozen! Your personality is irredeemable! ...BUT you’re still the best mentor ever :3″  Which now explains why Ozen cared about making sure Reg and Riko are in shape enough to handle their adventure.

It is then that Ozen basically throws them into a forest for 10 days on their own, to see if they can survive, and if they do that means they are worthy enoughto train. Which, spoiler alert, they survive.

During their expedition Ozen ends up getting nostalgic about how Riko came to survive, and explains the story of how Lyza’s love (Riko’s father) had just died, and now her baby was stillborn. “How heartbreaking” She says. “I never wanted to see her in such a state” She speaks to herself, considering leaving the box with the child in it, and carrying and the relic they found up instead, as she turns back around to hear the so-thought-dead baby crying inside the curse-warding box. “You can relax child. I am cursed with a strong sense of duty.

When Riko and Reg come back from their training, Ozen explains that when she visited the 5th layer she intended to stay down there only for a few weeks, but when she resurfaced, it had been a couple of months. She then goes on to explain that they have no way of knowing how this time-warp manifests in the 6th or 7th layers, and that she has a feeling that not as much time has passed for lyza. Its been 10 years on the surface, but its a possibility that only a fraction of that time has gone by where she is, and that Lyza is most likely very much alive and well. 

After everyone says their goodbyes a new cutscene comes across as Ozen and Lyza, as a new mother, are having a conversation. ‘My daughter riko is incredibly prescious to me. No matter the relic or whatever else I could offer as payment, its not enough. Thanks to a miriad of priceless things that girl is alive right now. If I continue to stay with her, i’m liable to take away her right to set off on adventures of her own. Plus  I myself would likely give up trying to reach for the abyss. So before that happens, I’m going to head out, so my girl is free to choose the path she wishes.” She then asks Ozen to make sure to tell Riko “about how shes a living corpse”  about how its a miracle she’s alive. And asks her to teach her how to tackle the obstacles in her way.  She says that Lyza should tell her the miracle part herself, but agrees to send Riko down to her. 

(I had to watch it again to get the wording, and i’m crying. xD) Also Hi, Lyza is so freaking pretty 

(I am leaving something out that isn’t very story relevant I dont think, its about a small child. I’ll talk about it in another post, but I’m literally only at episode 9 out of 13 and i still have so much to say. The post will be Titled “Kiyui’s Birthday”) Since the entire 3rd layer is a 4000m verticle drop down a circular shaft, Riko and Reg set out to try to reach the fourth layer of the abyss. The decent is full of a bunch of tunnels they need to go through. Riko and Reg end up being attacked by a Madokajack, and Reg ends up having to use his incinerator, shortly after the same crimson redchin that reg hurt before finds them and seeks revenge, I dont remember how much they manage escaping and then Reg passes out, leaving Riko alone and hungry trying to find food for herself. Dragging Reg along with her,  she ends up in the stomach of an Amakagame that baited her with the smell of Baracocha fruit. This smell is used to mainly bait the small Neritantan creatures, but Riko was hungry and well, you know how that goes. She ends up cutting herself out of the creature’s stomach, which explodes with the smell of fruit. Hundreds of Neritantan start to surround her and ultimately chase her because they think she’s the fruit. 

They chase her into a ditch, and eventually a tunnel that she needs to get out of, but unfortunately... the only way out is an upwards incline.. I’ll lay it out for you here. She’s on the 3rd layer. She goes for it, like the strong willed 12 year old she is. Not 5 steps upwards and she already feels the weight of the curse. She starts to hallucinate severely and pictures herself with her mother, saying the curse doesnt affect them and they can go home now. But, Reg is gone. When Riko realizes Reg is not in her hallucination is where she REALIZES it is a hallucination, saying that “Without reg this was pointless, without Reg, I’ll die!” She then perserveres to the top of the incline, Reg in tow, and falls, when all of a sudden, the crimson red chin that Reg hurt before found them, and Reg uses Lyzas pickaxe thing that i forgot to mention to clobber it. 

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT MOVE ON FROM HERE UNLESS YOU ARE OKAY WITH TRIGGERING IMAGES.

Okay. From here on out almost A LOT OF THE STORY will be triggering and I’m going to go into gruesome detail. Images, Story points. Everything. This is literally the part I’ve been waiting to talk about. And even I’m going to have to go through watching it again to make sure my facts are accurate.  THE LAST BIT of this will be ENTIRELY Triggering material. 

Reg and Riko have finally gone down far enough to reach the Fourth Layer, the Goblets of Giants. Riko and Reg start walking through the Goblts of warm steamy water, unable to see much. While descending and exploring the fourth layer, Reg sees a figure in the fog. Obviously startled, Riko comes in to see what’s the matter. 

Riko’s demeanor immediately turns scared as she says “Don’t go near it. We need to run for it. That thing is an Orb Piercer! Their quills can penetrate even steel and they’re laced with poison. More than 100 cave raiders have already been killed by these things.” Reg grabs onto riko and attempts to evade the creature but the creature essentially predicted his path and struck an attack. They were unharmed, but their backpack was broken and items flew out onto the ground. 

They still have (this random umbrella i literally dont remember them  receiving AT ALL) and they use it to try scare the Orb Pierver, since it recoils from anything bigger than itself. Reg then screams, opens the umbrella, and it turns out to be small as hell. The agutated creature IMMEDIATELY ATTACKS THEM with its quills, and when Reg turns around to tell Riko they need to try to run, he sees that RIko has been pierced. 

Reg pulls out the quill, obviously causing Riko a lot of pain, as he tries to find a way out. He ties her arm with rope to slow the poison from getting to the rest of her body. Reg realizes that the only way out is up.. But they’re on the fourth layer, and that would cause Riko intense pain and bleeding. He shows reluctance until Riko says “You gotta do it, we have to Reg.” When they get up to a higher Goblet, Reg sets Riko down only to see that for some reason she isn’t bleeding, but her hand is oozing. They then come to the conclusion that maybe the curse is spilling the poison out of her body instead of her blood..Nope. 

Bamboozled. 

Riko is having terrible hallucinations at this point but Reg has no idea what to do to save her from the poison thats going to course through her body any minute. He looks over and sees that her hand is completely swollen and bloated. He tried to take off her glove but she screams in agony. Reg apologizes profusely and asks her what to do, and for her help asking how he can save her becasue he has no idea. 

Riko: Cut it.. Reg: Huh?! Riko: Please.. Cut it.. cut it off... Reg: you don’t know what you’re saying. If I do that you’ll never be able t- Riko: Reg, please, just do it. If you can’t do it, I’ll die. Please Reg, I’m really scared. I’m so scared. 

Reg pulls out his knife as Riko instructs him further on what to do.  Struggling to breathe and stuttering as she talks.  Riko: Listen to me, Reg. You’re gonna have to break the bone first.. A black whistle who had this happen, he said cutting it was tough.  He grabs a rock and preps her arm. 

And gives her something to bite down on.  (I’m cringing as I write this becase I have to watch it again. I thought he smashed her arm with the rock but I’ve never watched the scene to see what he actually does.) He puts her arm over the rock and cracks her bone in two over each side of the rock. 

Literally causing her to writhe in agony.  (its blurry in Reg’s vision. 

He starts to cut her arm but suddnely bugs swarm them and he needs to fend them away. After he does that he realizes Riko isn’t breathing, at all. 

He starts screaming out and crying about not leaving him behind. For a good 2 and a half minutes he’s screaming and crying. And then all of a sudden you hear a voice say “You are very noisy...” (which absolutely cracked me up for SOME REASON, even though I was crying my eyes out) The person tells him that Riko’s heart is still beating, but weakly, and he needs to get her breathing.  

The person then instructs Riko on how to do mouth to mouth ressusitation, and he ends up getting Riko to breathe again. Mysterious Person-Thing then takes Reg and Riko to their hide out where they reveal they’re a Hollow named Nanachi. And on the way to the hideout they say “The curse isn’t present here” Reg looks confused and Nanachu says “Oh.. I guess you can’t see it..” This is important later. 

Nanachi then explains that many cave raiders have had this issue, but they don’t know how to treat it. She has a medicine to give Riko, buuuutttt since they cant give it orally “We have to use the other end”  (I honestly just like Reg’s face here xD)

Nanachi proceeds to remove the broken bone fragments, and stitch up the blood vessels and flesh, and sees that Riko has severely damaged nerves, while neatly stitching her up. 

Nanachu asks why Reg didn’t just cut it off at the elbow joint instead of breaking her arm, and he says he was just following Riko’s orders. Nanachi admits their admiration for Riko, as they explain that if the part past the elbow is left in tact then it totally changes what one can do when cave raiding. She was still determined to press on, even though she went through everything she just went through. They also explain that literally everything they’ve done since the 4th layer, Nanachi was watching them. Nanachi explains that they didn’t help the 2 because its dangerous for her to show themselves, but she started to pity Reg, and she couldn’t stand it anymore. They hear a little “Waaaaah?” In the distance and Reg asks if Nanachi lives with anyone. “Just my roommate, come meet her. This is my cute little Mitty”

Reg: What.... is that?? Nanachi: This child is also a hollow. R: What? N: Have you heard the perils of ascending from the 6th layer? R: I was told that it causes the loss of humanity. Or even death at times N: right. If someone survives, this is what becomes of them. Their personality and intelect vanish. The person becomes a holow husk of who they once were. No matter how hard they’ve tried, no one’s ever gone back to how they were. That trick you did with your extending arm.. just thinking about what would happen if you did that on the sixth layer is pretty thrilling.  R: But Nanachi, you don’t look anything like that! N: well yeah, there’s a reason for that, but I’m an exception among exceptions, so dont get your hopes up too much. That reminds me. If a cave raider ever becomes a hollow, their fellow cave raiders kil them and collect their belongings. Given the alternative, I suppose its better to tell people they died. Imagine what would happen if I went like this out in the open. I’m living proof that its possible to return from the 6th layer while still retaining some sense of humanity. Naturally, people would come capture me if they could. Revealing myself to a group of cave raiders is a big risk for me. even if its just out of pity, saving someone is a good thing, right?

After this conversation, Nanachi sends Reg to get a bunch of stuff intended for saving Riko. Except.. it wasn’t. One thing was. The rest was literally just to make dinner. The Ingredient to save Riko: Shroombears. They are bears that have a fungi called Watermushrooms. They’re parasidic. When it looks like their host is going to die, they share their nutrients to revive their host. Nanachi stitches some WaterMushrooms to her wound, to help with the bone healing, and help prevent her flesh from rotting, but they hurt like crazy to pull off. 

Mitty, for some reason, decided to crawl up on Riko and lay on her. And Reg dislikes this, and Mitty seems to be yelling at him for yelling at her. Nanachi explains that Mitty has never grown this fond of any visitors before, that Riko and Mitty are close in age and Mitty was a little girl before this happened to her. After Reg asks mitty not to eat the mushrooms Nanachi had this to say N: Shes not one to ever treat other so cruelly. It was thanks to her that we got the poison out so soon R: whaddaya mean? N: that medicine was made by injecting Mitty with an orb Piercers poison. She has the ability to neutralize poison all on her own. So naturally i decided to use her blood to produce the medicine. 

Riko remembers what Nanachi said about the curse not being present, and asks them to tell him how to evade the curse. Nanachi explains that they feel its useless to tell someone who can’t even see it. Reg immediately gets up in their face and begs them.So the nature of the curse is as follows: (Nanachi uses a clear cloth to explain) The curse is flowy and natural like an invisible blanket, piled on layer by layer. Even if you poke it, you won’t feel it. Even breathing is enough to alter its flow. When you touch it, it warps. 

They explain that as you go up, once you finally break through, the symptoms hit you all at once. If its something like your finger you’ll hardly be effected but if its your head or chest or a vital part.. well.. not good.  (this was hard for me to understand so I’m gonna try to explain as best I can with almost word for word from Nanachi’s explanation)

Reg asks why You can descend and nanachi explains like this It has a flow similar to inverted thorns which wont allow you to leave. And they draw a picture explaining their meaning. Its just like a trap for its prey. 

The curse was inactive around Nanachi’s hideout because the curse gets weakened the father you get from the verticle shaft. Its a forcefield. It will even alter its flow to someones consiousness. Orb Piercers aren’t intuitive, they can preduct the future because the forcefiels allows it. Which is why as you go further down the abyss the creatures become more difficult of a fight. Nanachi then has an idea to help Reg experience it, even though he can’t see it. nanachi places a microphone/speaker thing inside his helmet and instructs him to do EXACTLY what they say no matter what.  The scene changs to Riko and Mitty, and gets closer to Mitty’s eye. You then se a depiction of a creature, that slightly resembles Riko, crying We then see this

We then see this, and I’m confused as to how this doesn’t scare the child more. But from that eyeball, is even more, Louder crying than the skin girl was.  

These are the next few scenes, and they’re not explained, but they’re important for later.  A new scene shows reg walking through one of the Goblets with nanachi talking to him in his ear. From a distance, Reg hears a whistle beoing blown, and against Nanachi’s ordes, he ran to see who it was. It was a black whistle, fighting the same orb piercer. He advises Reg not to get any closer. 

Nanachi gives him specific instructions that no matter what happens do what he says, and dispose of the Orb Piercer. She had him look up, and commit to the act. Then  jump hard, to the right. 

With that jump, reg had the piercer by the nose. This is the organ it uses to sense the forcefield. After he confuses it, he ties it with his stretchy arms, and then blasts it with his incinerator. 

WHile Nanachi is amazed by his incinerator, Reg approached the black whistle, again, against the command of Nanachi. He asked the cave raider to bring a message up to someone at the Belchero Orphanage. “we’re continuing our adventure” The black whistle agrees. After Nana and Reg meet back up, Reg asks nanachi if they’d like to come with him and Riko. To which Nanachi had their own question for Reg. “I want you to... kill Mittty for me.” Then the scene jumps to a flashback of Mitty on nanachi’s back in the cold winter as Nanachi speaks to Mitty.  “I’m sorry for running away like thisbut I just cant let him do it anymore. Not as he pleases.  I promise I’ll figure something out for us.”

This is the end of episode 12. The finale of the show, episode 13, Is based around Mitty and Nanachi’s story. 

Nanachi, as a child came from a very unweathy place. She is sleeping on the floor saying to herself that they’d like to go to the bottom of the abyss. There is a commotion outside and a bunch of children are running to see what’s up. A boy Yells at nanachi, and pushes them saying “you stink get away from me” When they reach where the commotion is coming from, the white whistle bondrewd is standing in a door way with all the children clammoring “What’s he doing all the way out here” He asked for volunteers that are suitable for forging a path to the next era. Basically asking who wanted to go into the abyss with him. Nanachi, along with many other children took the offer. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a girl standing there, being bullied by a young boy. The same boy that was being mean to nanachi telling the girl “I dont hang out with idiots!”

After this, they show the children descending into the abyss, into the 5th layer, having barely anything to eat, but all supplied with blankets and bland food. Finally, Mitty approaches Nanachi and asks what they wants to be when they grow up, and explains that she, herself wants to become a white whistle. Nanachi said that she was fine with anything. All the other kids in her village would steal for food or neg for money, but that was never their thing. Saying “if you’re fine with whatever then we should be partners! My name is Mitty, a future white whistle! Who’re you?” I’m not sure how long it took them to descend but it seemed like quite a while. 

After this, they stayed up late at night reading and learning new things about the abyss, studying while all the children are sleeping. The two are inseperable from this point on. Bondrewd advises them to please not climb more than 10 meters, because they’ll be hit with the curse if they do. Nanachi and Mitty obviously in awe seeing the 5th layer.

All of the children seem to be put in a singular room to hang out with each other for their time there. (one of these kids looks like Gasai Yuno) Nanachi and Mitty spend their time drawing and researching more about the abyss, but as you get a look around the room there are significantly less children than before. One by one a child will leave and for some reason, never return. 

nanachi and Mitty hope they’re allowed to go out together. Then, while they’re asleep, Bondrewd calls Mitty out to go with him. Nanachi asks to go with her but Bondrewd says “you’ll get your turn Nanachi”

But nanachi being impatient and worried about her new-found best friend leaves the room anyway. She overhears A black whistle and Bondrewd talking.  Whistle: Sovereign of Dawn, I dont understand your reasoning. Bringing this many people down to the fifth layer? Even children from overseas?? Bondrewd: Why are you bringing this up now? it is for this purpose that I advocated to have black whistles enter the fifth layer W:its just.. it’d be different if they were cave raiders. But taking children who will never be able to return? its unhumane. B: ah. then there is no reason to worry. I am not making use of them as humans. I’m sure you understand. Care to have a look?

Nanachi then makes the dumb decision to start running to try to find Mitty. When she does, Mitty is trapped in a glass cylander  From here will be significantly shorter between pictures. 

Bondrewd comes up behind Nanachi.  B: Well, what have we here? What perfect timing you have Nanachi. Come, its your turn now. 

“That elevator is capable of going quickly down to the depths of the 6th layer, although its destination is no more than a dead end

Its the perfect depth for testing out many-a-things. Its my own miniature garden. 

The 6th layer’s curse is death, or loss of one’s humanity. And I’d like to do something about that

The chambers you’re situated in are capable of switching the curse all to one side. Attempts were made at pairing a person with a non-human, but those attempts were unsuccesful. However, Nanachi has decided to join us.  Mitty, You will be on the side to which the curse is driven. Please do your best to endure it. If you die halfway through, your partner will be hit with the curse. 

The pure terror in their eyes breaks my heart. 

And then. He pulls the lever. 

It was then clearly depicted what Bondrewd meant by his “garden”

“nanachi! Its alright. I promise! I’ll get through this. But if. If for some reason I end up not being Human anymore”

PLease let my soul return to you. Nanachi promise me!

Right after this, nanachi yells out for mitty, then the elevator starts heading back upwards. I don’t even want to explain. Just have pictures. 

At this point you hear Mitty plead for Nanachi to kill her. 

After this happens Nanachi basically becomes Bondrewd’s pet. Helping him with certain things, and research.

He explains that he now understands the curse Mitty received. He reveals that it did more than just cause her to lose her humanity. IT also made her incapable of dying.   The picture below was the 9th time she’s been resurrected. The only change is that her form becomes slightly more distorted. 

This, among obvious other things, is what caused Nanachi to run away. 

But no matter what Nanachi tried, Mitty just suffered. She promised that she would find a way to kill mitty without making her suffer through life anymore. 

The scene then goes back to when Mitty promted Reg with this question 

Reg asks to think about it a little bit. nanachi explains that Mitty answering when she’s called and other reactions are just reflexed. Real interaction has proved impossible for her. And that by looking at her eye, she has a strong feeling mitty’s soul is imprisoned in that body. 

Mitty still continues to obsess over Riko 

After they make something terrible to eat, Reg decides that he will go along with killing Mitty, and tells Nanachi the next day.  Reg just asks how Nanachi is sure that Mitty isn’t happy. “Well, when I die, which of course I will, Mitty will be alone forever. Can you imagine? Mitty never eats and she still doesnt die, but if she gets stabbed it hurts and she still sheds tears of pain. even if those are just mere reflexes she’d still be forced to endure her endless suffering forever. She’s not even capable of screaming out. Her soul would just remain imprisoned for all eternity. Reg this is my last chance to end her pain. You have the power to set her free. Please. I’m afraid an opportunity wont present itself like this.”

He says he will on one condition: That Nanachi does not commit suicide once Mitty is gone. She agrees, and promises. They set up a really pretty deathbed for her. 

But just as Reg starts to power up his incinerator, a hysterical nanachi can be heard screaming “STOP IT!”

“Mitty I’m so sorry, I was wrong I should have tried more. I’m so so sorry.

Listen to me. We’ll always be together,okay?

My sweet Mitty, you feel so warm. 

Thank you 

SHe heads back over to Reg and says “okay I’m ready now.”

And a very sad, and hesitant Reg then blasts her with the incinerator. 

And then there you see mitty, being basically ripped to shreds, but with no painful tears in her eyes, and still making the same, non painful sounds, she normally did. 

Nanachi turns around to look at whats happening, with tears in her eyes 

Honestly this is one of the most heartbreaking cries I’ve ever heard in an anime. Most of them are like, you try to stifle a laugh but this made me bawl my eyes out and I’m crying as I’m writing this because I’m listening to it for the screenshots. 

Nanachi yells at Reg to leave her alone, but he keeps hugging them and cries with them. 

After this, reg ended up passing out from using his incinerator and wakes up to RIko finally being awake, and helping teach Nanachi how to cook.  Some comic relief strikes up as riko praises nanachi telling them they’re doing such a good job while snuggling up to her fur. 

Riko, then randomly asks if someone else lived here. When prompted with why she’s asking. She goes on to explain that she was having a nightmare, where she was closed in a bolder like thing. And it wouldn’t budge. There was a cavity that was the same size as her that kept getting smaller and smaller. She was lost. (and then the depictions from before came back up again)  “I didn’t know who or what I was anymore. KI even forgot how to speak. I was so scared I just kept crying. 

and I heard more crying. But not from me. It was coming from someone else

At first it kind of scared me, but then i realized it was another girl. and she was scared too. It helped ease my mind if even a little. 

So we just stayed like that for quite a while. 

Whevener I got scared, there was that girl who was even more frightened that I was. I couldn’t speak.. but with my eyes I kept on telling her that it was going to be alright. Then I smelled something like smoke, and the crying finally stopped. 

And well, that girl left without ever looking back

But when I looked at her, she was just like all of the other cave raiders I’ve seen, her eye had an insatiable longing and just like that i remembered what I always wanted to be one day.” 

And then she had a feeling, that she would some day see that girl again, and then she woke up. 

Then Riko and Reg take a bath in some waters, while Nanachi teases them about Reg having a boner, and how they feel about each other. 

After this peaceful scene comes more painful when they have to take the mushrooms off of Riko.

I’m guessing a few days or weeks later, Riko is attempting to move her hand at all, but cant. And ends up getting her thumb to wiggle. 

Reg comes over completely upset, and apologizes to Riko for mangling her arm. RIko explains that Nanachi told her how uoset he was when he though she was dying and how seeing her like that reminded Nanachi of her with Mitty, which i why she helped them. Riko is thankful for the scar because its proof that Reg protected her. 

When Nanachi comes back out Riko asks her to go with them. And Nanachi says yes, Saying that Mitty would be mad if they abandoned the two.  and then Reg tackle hugs them. 

They all send up a package in a hot air balloon that goes through multiple layers and probably months of time to get there. It even gets caught on the second layer, and marulk and the cave raiders sew it together and send it back up. 

The entire credit scene is based on the air balloon message and Reg, Riko, and Nanachi getting ready to leave to continue their journey.  Unfortunately. The last few scenes show Bondrewd, and a bunch of lights. One, I believe to be Mitty’s not lit up. 

“congratulatiuons Nanachi, you finally managed to do it. I would like to express the extent of my gratitude. I hope very soon I’ll get to see you once again. 

AND THEN IT FADES TO BLACK. AND I AM DONE WITH THIS.  This story is so messed up. I love it. (because its wholesome and I wat some damn justice for Nanachi and Mitty) And I can’t wait to see Bondrewd get kis ass handed to him. I hope the movie comes out soon and i understand it. I rate this anime 10/10 to be honest. I’ll put more about how I feel in another post but its 2AM and I’m goin to bed. If you read this far, Thank you! <3

[blueanddeepblue]

10/6

I've seen my dad once in the last seven years. We haven't spoken in the past year and a half. We're not even Facebook friends. When I came home from college one semester with a Rolling Stones CD with the song Bitch on it, he told me either the CD had to go, or I did. Before that, when I left for college, he told me I was throwing away a god-given gift by not playing college basketball. He may have been right about that one. ----- Right now A and I are sitting in the car in the middle of the Sturgeon River National Wilderness in Michigan's Upper Peninsula escaping the weather. Our tent is holding fast; it is both dry and secure, but I've spent too much of the past 24 hours losing to A at gin rummy to want to be trapped in there any longer. Mozart's Piano Concerto No. 15 is playing on the car radio, and we've reached the climax. Earlier, we ate dinner underneath a tarp in the cold and rain. Dinner was absolutely stellar. There were moments before the rain, as I got the fire going and A prepped our dinner, where the sun came out for a rare appearance, shooting light up towards the gold and red of oaks and birches and maples beginning their fall display. Our camp is along a bend in the river five miles down a dirt road, and we're the only campers here for the second night running. The solitude of the forest is immense after the din of tourists at several of our previous Michigan stops. Today when I went to rinse a dish in the river, a Bald Eagle flushed from his perch and A yelled "Up, up, up!" until I heard her above the babble of the rapids and looked to see him rise over the pines and out of sight. ----- I think some small portion of my love for birding is due to my dad. He would always point out hawks as he was driving, ducking his head so he could get a clearer vantage point beneath the windshield. I'm not sure he took much interest in birds in general, but he showed the excitement of a child whenever a hawk made a highway appearance. When he drove, he always had a toothpick to chew on, a holdover from his smoking days, which I never realized was the case until I quit smoking two and a half years ago. On the dashboard, he'd also keep a comb with all the rounded bristles knocked off so to better scratch his head as he drove. I don't remember him ever getting a traffic ticket. And one of his claims to fame was that he was never in a car accident, not even a fender bender. It's hard not to write about him in the past-tense. Sometimes I feel like the part of my life that had him in it was eons ago, and I was a different person. Now, when the family gets together for christmas, it feels whole and healthy, it doesn't feel like there's a missing piece; it feels like a weight has been lifted. But of course, there's this hole that exists, somewhere, even though I know it's better this way. This past week, talking with my uncle, I noticed, how he too, referred to his brother in the past-tense. ----- One of my favorite parts about traveling is the people you encounter. The relationships that A and I have fostered along this trip are of a certain mettle only tempered through the road. In Virginia we see my friend, Ava, and her and Mike's new baby, Onyx. They live on a farm on the bend in a creek near the Appalachian Trail with chickens and a garden and a self-built sauna and diesel powered hot-tub. They are the type of people who inspire you to do. To find ways to improve your life by your own means. To build a treehouse or learn to fly a plane. To live according to your own rules and not be bound by cultural norms. Ava and I met in undergrad, on a study abroad trip in Mexico. I've kept several friends from that study abroad trip, maybe because forging a friendship in a place outside your comfort zone helps you know that miles-between don't really matter. I remember joining Ava and her family one time at a Gary P Nunn concert in Luckenbach, Texas. I remember eating BBQ and dancing and having too many drinks and laughing at it all, every one of us crammed into the same small hotel room afterwards. I remember being struck by how her parents could still talk amicably after divorce. How they could even laugh a little at each other. How experiences could be shared because they were family. Seeing Ava and her own family is beautiful. We eat french toast and drink too much coffee. Mike is already out on the tractor, discussing methods of hauling brush with a neighbor. We leave feeling torn, lingering longer than intended, wishing we could stay to help the small community that's gathered to help cut down trees and make space for Onyx's outdoor play area. In D.C., we meet up with A's friend, Rhonda. We crash on her couch and wander the town, being tourists and visitors. Rhonda shows us the nearby farmer's market, and spoils us with drinks and stories and delicious meals. Years ago, A used to nanny Rhonda's boys, who are 16 and 14 now, all grown up with deep voices and polite manners, as driven and intent as their mother. Rhonda is a burst of constant energy, a whirlwind of goodness.The kind of person who radiates action and fortitude. As most everyone in D.C. does, Rhonda works in government, balancing home life and the nearly impossible demands of her job. In the garden, she found a caterpillar capable of devouring an entire tomato plant in one night. According to the internet, the appropriate remedy for such a pest is to cut it in half with a knife. Rhonda opts to leave him out on the sidewalk in hopes the birds will find him a tasty morsel. On a nearby leaf, a similar caterpillar is discovered, immobile, and riddled with white wasp larvae devouring it from the inside out. The best practice for a caterpillar being devoured from the inside out is to leave it alone, let nature to do its bidding. There is a theme brewing, a pattern; here, too, a father (but not a husband) stays involved with his kids, cajoles them about their homework, takes them rock climbing. ----- Later, in Pennsylvania, we stay two nights with my best friends' mom, Ann, and her husband Rocky. They live on a farm in the hills surrounded by cornfields and little villages with picturesque churches down winding country roads. When the wind blows, the corn rustles like the rattling of hollow bones, like a million wind chimes made of old newspaper. We have dinner on the patio overlooking the garden and the 100 year old barn and the next-door church and cemetery. We eat mussels and caprese and Rocky's own Golumpki recipe. Rocky and Ann regale us with stories of sailing adventures and hiking trips, tales of family and old friends, and opinions on politics and philosophy and life. I tend to wax poetic. Rocky tells good jokes. Evening on the patio turns into night and new bottles of wine keep appearing. It feels like home away from home. The next day we kayak on a nearby lake and lunch by a waterfall. The trip is also beginning to revolve around waterfalls. When we paddle back, there is a kingfisher and a little green heron and I can imagine the lake when the leaves fall. How it turns into a liquid carpet of gold and orange and red that the boat cuts through like a knife. In New York, we eat pho and gawk at passerby. Chinatown flows by, and we're mesmerized once again by the energy and the pace. New York is a city of no limits, no boundaries. In many ways, you are invisible. Always, everywhere, there is someone louder, more stylish, crazier, more artistic, or more outlandish than you. We stop to see A's friend who's opening a gallery. Later, we stay in the Bronx with my friend Jill, whose wife, Jess, is out of the country helping with hurricane relief. We share a dinner and beers and conversation, the three pillars of almost every good interaction. I fall asleep astounded at the goodness of people, at the way my life is surrounded by amazing people, humbled by the hospitality we're shown stop after stop. ----- My dad was 31 when I came along. In pictures from this era he appears rugged and handsome. He wears cut-off jean shorts and waterskis, barefoot, on some Texas lake, maybe even Canyon Lake, where I grew up. His hair is dark and wavy, and his eyes flicker a mystery, belying the thrill of speed, the roar of a powerboat, the splash of the wake against a barreled chest, strong arms. The pictures themselves have the golden tint of years past, the nostalgic glow of easy living. In one set of pictures, he sports a thick mustache and throws a football to friends. He drinks beer from the types of cans that advertisers have brought back into vogue now that enough time has lapsed, now that the trends have come full circle and they can again benefit from the aesthetics of collective memory. I did not know this version of my father. The one who lived easily among friends. The one who drank beer and waterskied and rode motorcycles and found ways to live fast and large. Or maybe I should say I did not often know this version of my father. Maybe these pictures of him are really card tricks, fanciful sleight-of-hand maneuvers that the mind plays on perception. Maybe the amber-tinged version of my dad is a mythology I've constructed, a story I've built up over the years to protect myself, to help explain why he's faded into the background of my life. Instead, I knew the version of my dad who couldn't handle it when the toothpaste wasn't rolled up from the bottom or the laundry didn't make it into the correct bin. The version who pulled us from sunday school because the message wasn't strong enough. Who changed the channel when beer commercials came on. Who had few friends that seemed to last. Who felt slighted and wronged by the world. Whose eyes shot sideways and clouded over with righteousness when he was begging to lose control. This too, is an illusion, a shifting myth tinged by the murkiness of memory. He also laughed at himself, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He took us fishing and played basketball with us, even though he grew up near Detroit, Michigan, where hockey is the sport of nobility, the sport his Texan kids would never quite comprehend. He wrestled on the floor with us or made himself into a launchpad at the pool, hurling us up and out across the water until we imagined ourselves to be birds, spaceships, shooting stars. ----- Here is a partial list of birds that A and I have seen thus far: Black-Throated Green Warbler Yellow Billed Cuckoo White Breasted Nuthatch Pileated Woodpecker Downy Woodpecker Black Buzzard Eastern Wood Peewee American Goldfinch Hooded Warbler Dark Eyed Junco Golden Crowned Kinglet Red Breasted Nuthatch Canada Goose House Sparrow Raven Grey Jay Green Heron Cedar Waxwing Blue Jay Belted Kingfisher Pine Warbler Northern Flicker Red Tailed Hawk Red Bellied Woodpecker Hairy Woodpecker American Robin Wild Turkey Crow Eastern European Starling Great Blue Heron Tufted Titmouse Brewers Blackbird Yellow Rumped Warbler Black Capped Chickadee Brown Thrasher Bald Eagle Wood Duck American Redstart Turkey Vulture White Throated Sparrow Least Flycatcher Ruby Crowned Kinglet Common Loon Hermit Thrush Northern Mockingbird Some of these are new birds, like the Hermit Thrush and American Redstart, birds that flash new color and make us hold our breath, or others that require we lean in to see the subtlety, those that mystify through the mundane. Some are as familiar as friends - a Kinglet among the underbrush. Other times, we jump to our binoculars at the flash of movement among the trees, against the sky, only to be disappointed by another mangy robin, another buzzard riding the thermals along the cliffs. We camp along every single one of the Great Lakes, marveling at the oceans of fresh water, at the gentle pulse of the waves lapping the shore or at the rainbow of color among the rounded stones. We stand underneath the falls at Niagara and on the boat that takes us in closer to where the mist shoots like needles into our eyes, where the sound is deafening as eternal thunder. Along the shores of Lake Michigan, we haul our camp chairs to the beach and look at the Milky Way among the night sky. We drink box wine and watch the fog roll in. Later, we swim in Superior, clear as glass all the way down to our toes. We emerge fresh and alive, reborn. We also run away from the biting flies, layer up to avoid the gnats, the mosquitos. Nature churns on according to its own whims. We're merely visitors here. ----- So much has gone by that I can't cram into this post. So many thoughts and feelings slipped through the cracks. Elusive. Flitted away. Things I glimpsed but that I could not identify. Ways to cinch the threads on this loose narrative. I am sitting in my sister's home in downtown Minneapolis. My niece is building blocks on the living room floor in front of me. I am aware that she is where the secret exists. That the most important person should always be the one right in front of me. That these memories I revisit and these things I chronicle are also fleeting. My sister and her husband have a wonderful family. The nieces share and play together wonderfully. Their home is wonderful and the meals we share around the table are wonderful. It's grey and rainy on the streets right now, but the warmth inside this home seems to stem from something deeper than an efficient central air system. My brothers camped with us in New York. We swam in the lake and fed spiders to the fish below the dock, watching them emerge from the depths like in the best Attenborough documentaries. We hiked around the lake. We watched a sunset explode over the hills behind us. We shared a fire and ate s'mores. We drank beers and swapped stories as the fog rolled in. I'm proud of my little brothers, who are bigger than me and have been for quite some time. I'm proud of their decisions and the people they've become - solid, thoughtful, caring, and articulate. I'm proud of their ability to grow up. Proud of their tenacity and perseverance. Proud of the kindness that seems innate. I'm proud of them. I'm proud of them all. My sister and brother back in Texas who aren't as much a part of this story merely because this trip and their paths have not yet intersected. I'm proud of the family we've become. The people we are. ----- There are no tidy endings here. No clean conclusions. Narratives seek a wrap-up, a way of putting all the pieces back together, but this is real life; it is neither as messy, nor as poetic as I make it seem in this account. I know that Dad is a part of the family we've become. I know that he, too, has much to be proud of. That he, too, should look at his grown children and see their success as part of his own. But I also know that he is broken. As all people share in brokenness. And that his brokenness keeps him from sharing in our success. Keeps him from calling, or writing, or staying meaningfully involved in any of our lives. In Michigan, we met up with Dad's brother and his wife. We kayaked down the Au Sable river and stayed at their home along the shores of Lake Huron. We slept with windows open to the sound of a lapping lake and woke to sunrises made of gold and fire. I wasn't planning on writing any of this. Not really. But somewhere along the dirt roads of the Upper Peninsula, or while passing a ski boat towed by an eager truck, or while walking on a sandy beach of Huron (all of these places of Dad's own childhood, fragments of the stories I remember him telling), or maybe even before all that, maybe before the trip began, I noticed a thread. Somewhere in all this space and beauty, somewhere in the rush of a waterfall, in the purple of a flower, somewhere between hiking-strides or in the sweep of a vista, I noticed a memory that hasn't quite yet finished playing itself out. A memory that is stranger still because it holds no finality, because there is still a chance at redemption, at a happy ending. So I'll put this here, mostly for my own benefit, like a soup simmering on low, to come back to at a later time. When I'm ready. And I'll walk with the realization that life isn't passed on, it's shared. That beauty is right in front of you, inviting you to get down and share with someone, inviting you to pick up the pieces and build something.

[a-travels]

taken: 4 jun, 2017 Shree Chamundeshwari Temple, Mysore, India

now that we’re men

If you look really closely, there are two smol monkey babies in the arms of either parent there. I guess it’s tougher to see in black and white, but the image pops a lot more than if it were in color. Trust me, they’re there.

A pretty common refrain I’ll hear from time to time is “When will you grow up and stop wasting your time with these things?” And when I say common, I mean probably once a week, and by things I mean my video games, my movies, or TV shows. Any of the four (yes I think I’ve suckered one more person to browse around here) people here who are reading probably know what kinds of media I’m referring to here: Nintendo games, Marvel/Star Wars movies, and cartoon TV shows. In perhaps each of their respective media, the three-four listed brands are generally seen as more “childish” or “kid-oriented” in terms of entertainment—Nintendo being the most family-friendly game console, Marvel and Star Wars also inherently more kid-oriented, and cartoons retaining the notion that they’re made for kids. Granted yes, each of them has adult audiences. Grown adults like Nintendo because it’s nostalgic and reminds them of their first game console growing up. Marvel comics were a staple for adults nowadays and Star Wars was a phenomenon for kids of the 70′s and 80′s. There are adult male Brony’s out there too (I am not a brony, but it’s solely for the point), along with adult cartoon shows like Rick and Morty, Bojack Horseman, etc. 

Before I get called out for being salty about this, I’ll just say I don’t much care if I hear that regularly. It’s not like that’s going to deter me from liking what I like. I like what I like, and no one will tell me otherwise on that front. I do think though there’s a disconnect, maybe amongst some of my family, but also in general, between growing old and growing up. 

It’s a fairly common thing to hear “grow old but don’t grow up” or something along those lines. I don’t need to tell you what growing old means, hopefully you know that from living life. Growing up, to me at least, is mental and psychological, but can also refer to different things. I think in terms of the saying, it refers to one’s child-like sensibilities, having fun with wild abandon, having the mindset of a child in terms of curiosity, wonderment, and joy for life. On the other hand, growing up can also refer to better understanding the world around you, learning to sometimes see the world as it is, not necessarily the way you envision it. 

Growing up is a flexible thing. You can be a more mature person, able to handle the complexities of life, do taxes, do the adult stuff, and yet still enjoy watching a cartoon or playing a board game. I think it’s a point sometimes lost that you can grow up, but still not always be “grown-up” if you catch my drift. You don’t have to run crying to mommy when you scrape your knee or get a boo-boo, but at the same time, I think it’s incredibly mature to know your limitations and every now and then, have a good cry. 

Recently, a friend of mine gifted me an Infinity Gauntlet for graduation (don’t worry, I’m not feeling particularly maniacal or in the mood to destroy half of existing life) and I was faced with the same refrain of, “You’re too old for this, even your friends think you’re just a big kid.” So what? Isn’t it really unfortunate that there are people out there who try to belittle what you enjoy doing (as long as this thing you enjoy is harmless and a personal hobby and not negatively affecting someone else or your own self - I’m not saying you should enjoy murdering people as a hobby. If so, please stop reading Mr. Manson). Granted, this was a family member, and I get their “concern” comes from a place of care and worry that such enjoyment is “unproductive” or hampering my future success or something. No matter what anyone tells you, it’s ok to live life a little foolishly. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized the somehow never-wrong grown-up is often making the same sorts of mistakes and faux pas’s as little kids. Adults don’t know what they’re doing half the time, much less kids. 

The world is getting more complex and arguably more messed up. Children and young adults are having to face and grapple with literally their own mortality, with the fear of mass shootings in the United States, the existential threat of climate change looming, economic and political uncertainty around the world. I think in some ways now more than before, kids are forced to “grow up” much more than kids of yesteryear and even someone like myself. In other regards, I think people are embracing more whimsicality and youthfulness as they grow older. We seem to be approaching this renaissance of content and pop culture acceptance for hobbies and interests people would keep closeted as a kid. The nerds of the past playing D&D and reading comic books are now very much at the front and center of pop culture. Point is, it is more acceptable for adults to indulge in their “child-like” selves. 

I think amidst the increasingly dour outlook on life we tend to hear and be fed, more and more people are turning to their child side and realizing that being a kid isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, I think our world would be a little better if it acted like a planet of kids. And no, that doesn’t mean everything in bubble wrap (though it would be nice to not fear stubbing a toe) or dessert for every meal. I think there’s a lot we can learn from our own past, being a kid again.  

Kids are remarkably curious. Question the world around you, don’t accept life the way it is. I said that growing up is sometimes accepting the world as it is. In some respects yes, you can’t maybe always break the laws of physics or space-time (or who knows, maybe you can), but why should anyone settle for accepting life the way it is. If a kid wants ice cream, dammit, they will cry till they get ice cream. I’m not saying that means you should cry to get a promotion or a raise or a new job, but do something about it. For a kid, that something is crying. As a grown person, hopefully, you have more useful and less manipulative tools at your disposal to achieve your goals.

Sometimes, kids want a hug with mom or dad too, and that’s ok. Growing up shouldn’t mean we have to be devoid of emotion or so stoic and unfeeling that we become unrelatable to other people. Sometimes a good hug can really just make everything disappear, even for a moment, in the eyes of a child. Where ever you find that warm embrace, indulge in your inner child and find the chance to enjoy that moment if you can.

tl;dr – Yeah, I am a kid, and a goofball, and a wingnut, and a Knuckle-head McSpazatron.

[kiingmango]

11 questions meme

rules: 

1. always post the rules. 2. answer the questions given by the person who tagged you. 3. write 11 questions of your own and tag 11 (or however many) people to answer them.

I was tagged by @notbrogues @thisbirdhadflown and  @embersofimagination  thank you! (under a cut because this will be looong)

notbrogues questions:

1. Describe your least favorite character

Okay so if I’m being completely honest, my least favorite characters all really come down to just plain irritating behavior. Daisy in Bones has a sort of insensitivity to her that bothers me, and Sophie in the BFG due to her almost blunt treatment of the BFG.

2. A go-to comfort meal/snack/treat

Noodles and Rice because I’m the most Korean to ever Korean

3. Describe a perfect vacation, with no limit on funds or how long you can stay there.

Honestly I would probably take a vacation in Europe, touring all the sites there and traveling between Germany and France and England with only a car (Is this how people travel between countries though? I feel as if Ive been misinformed)

4. Do you listen to podcasts? If so, what are you favourites?

I have to say that I do not listen to Podcasts. I actually don’t understand what a Podcast is exactly?

5. One widely accepted fanon headcanon that you just don’t agree with?

The name of Eggsy’s younger sister. When i first came in I thought it was canon but now I’m kind of eh about it. What if they change her name in the second movie? 

6. One story/movie/song/album/piece of art that resonated with you and that you will never be able to forget?

Really for me I have read multiple first-hand account stories of people experiencing an array of different situations. that I won’t forget that I probably couldn’t choose one. (I find it hard to emotionally connect with music, and I’m not really a big art person)

7. If you have a day off, no responsibilities or pressing matters to attend to: what are you doing for the rest of the day?

I’m probably playing some soft music, reading for a while with a comfy blanket. Alternatively, I’m hanging out with my family 

8. Favourite past trend that you are most nostalgic for?

When everyone had DS’s (I’m pretty sure this is a trend..?) IDK I miss when I could whip out my DS and play Mario Kart and then switch to message my friend to come battle me. Technically, I could do that on my phone but my DS was pink and I had a cute carrier for it

9. What’s a hobby/skill you’ve always wanted to learn?

How to defend myself. Like i can throw a basic punch, and fight off someone if I need to but I’ve always wanted to learn how to box, or do karate or something super cool. (Idk don’t ask me I’m strange)

10. Where do you see yourself in ten years?

Done with school, and maybe with a family. I’ve gotten quite a few of my life goals done and now I’m ready to settle with someone :)

11. What was your first fandom? First OTP? First NOTP? Any memorable experiences from those early days?

My first ever fandom was Avatar the Last Airbender. My first ever OTP was Katara and Zuko, and my first ever NOTP was in the Avengers fandom, being Cap and Natasha. I just could only ever see them as friends, or in a brother/sister way

thisbirdhadflown’s questions:

1. We all did embarrassing things as teenagers. Share a story!

So there was a lot of fake piercings in sixth grade that I made from key chains and a nail file.

2. What is a headcanon for one of your OTPs?

Im going to go with Hartwin on this one. For them it’s a lot of lover’s squabbles about not wanting to do the dishes, folding laundry, and then kisses and smiles and deciding they would do it together. 

3. One book that had a huge influence on you?

I read this book called Wonder by RJ Palacio that I found helped me when I was younger to understand people who were different from me, and it opened some doors for me to understanding people’s disabilities and what they needed. 

4. Who is one misunderstood character?

Probably Natasha Romanoff. I feel like because people who watch the movies have such little information on her background that she’s easily misinterpreted. 

5. What are your pet peeves?

Lying. I mean, sometimes lying is necessary, but most of the time if you’re lying to me I’ll be very annoyed. 

6. One thing you wish you knew as a child/teen that you know now?

That I can wear what I want and it doesn’t matter what other people think. I struggle with it even today, but back then it was a lot of loose t-shirts and pants. Now, I feel more comfortable wearing dresses and crop tops. 

7. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

I’m comfortable not being famous, and really I have little desire to. But if I was famous I would have to say I would want to be famous as a movie producer, or script writer. 

8. Best part about getting older?

I’d have to say independence. 

9. One thing you really enjoy and one thing you really dislike about fandom?

So I am going to base my answer off Kingsman since that’s my main fandom right now. I really enjoy the talent and creativity, and the people in it are all friendly and so welcoming! I really love how simple things like how OTP’s spend their down time can bring people together. I also love how little drama this fandom has. However I dislike the occasional anon hate that we get, and of course like in every fandom we have the “we don’t have enough of this but I’m not going to do it so YOU have to do it” 

10. What makes and breaks a fic for you?

I think it’s the flow of the writing, I really can’t read choppy writing. It makes my brain go “huh? why?” 

embersofimagination’s questions:

1. Do you prefer tea, coffee, or neither?

Neither. I’m more of a juice person really. Although occasionally I’ll have some fancy coffee with my mom 

2. Do you go through “phases” with fandoms? Where you are all about one fandom for days, weeks, months, etc. then go onto the next or do you have one primary fandom you don’t stray far from?

I feel that I’m actively in multiple fandoms, but I switch my focus. If something is happening with Sherlock that’s where all my attention will be. I’m pretty much knee 

3. Are you an extrovert or an introvert?

A bit of both. I can really only handle one or two people at a time, but I will go out with more. I always come home from those days absolutely exhausted so then I spend a few days by myself. I love talking however, so yeah. A bit of both

4. Do you have otps? If so, name three.

Ah yes, I have many. Hartwin, Merwin, and Stony (from marvel)

5. Why do ship what you ship? Ex: they look pretty together, they compliment each other’s character, just for the lolz?

I ship Hartwin and Merwin for the same reason. Not only does Eggsy look good with both of them (ugh Merhartwin is swoon worthy also) but there’s so much to play with! Physical Hurt comfort? Emotional hurt comfort? fake/pretend relationship? Domestic fics???? #Blessed

6. What is one thing you learned/know that you wish more people knew about?

How to cook honestly. I get a lot of “I burn water” and sometimes people can literally not cook anything. But a lot of the times people just never had anyone to teach them how 

7. Are you a morning person or night owl?

Night Owl. Which in turn makes me hate mornings haha

8. Do you like tropes or trope subversion?

I think I enjoy both. I love a twist at the end but I also love when a scene plays out like I wanted it to.

9. What inspires you?

Other people inspire me. I think it’s the idea that other people believe in me and want me to succeed just as much that pushes me. Of course, I try my best to return the favor, and it’s that mutual system of support inspires me. 

10. Do you have an aesthetic? If so, what is it?

I think it would probably be rainy days and warm kitchens. Also, copper pots. (Oh god I love copper bottom pots)

11. Favorite season (if you have one)? 

Autumn! Sweaters make me so happy <3

Thank you guys for tagging me! I had fun answering your questions! Now here are my 11 questions :)

Favorite Character? Why?

What’s the weather like where you live?

Do you have a major goal in life you haven’t completed yet?

Do you have something from your childhood that you miss? 

Favorite memory from school? 

Any strange phobias?

Are you a hugger or a no touch kind of person?

Describe something that made you happy this week

Do you get motion sick/carsick/airsick?

Is there a special skill you have that most people can’t do?

What’s a phrase you say a lot?

I'm gonna tag people in the next post!