#a part of me dies every time I hear something along the lines of ‘you’re in a cult’ or ‘you’ve been groomed’

[cxmembert]

[eddiexmunsonlover-archive]

One Step Away From You (Chapter 13)

BSF!Eddie Munson x PlusSize!GF!Reader

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Chapter Summary: You and Eddie finally give in to your carnal desires. WC: 4k Warnings: MDNI 18+ Fluff and Smut, Smut and Fluff. Unprotected piv, grinding, marking, creampie. First time I've written smut in a long time, hope it's not terrible! Series taglist: @eddie-is-a-god @siriusmaraudeers @amandahobblepot @littlexdeaths

Friday, February 28th, 1986

A smoky haze hangs in Eddie’s room long after the cherry on your last shared joint died out. It’s your typical Friday night together after Hellfire, watching a movie between breaks to taste one another's lips. With the movie over, you’ve moved from the loveseat to Eddie’s bed, laying at opposite ends with guitars in lap, your leg atop his. Fingers seamlessly matching each other’s rhythm, soft smiles thrown with red, half-lidded eyes.

If you hadn’t been inseparable before, the two of you were practically attached at the hip over the last 2 weeks since that night at Lover’s Lake, and you swear it’s the happiest you’ve been in your life. All the time spent together, every time you feel his touch or his lips on yours, you can’t describe the feeling as anything else but high, floating in the clouds. Your friends are just as happy to see you finally together, unsure of how much more of the games they could bear witness to.

You play the last shared chord of the song, the weed making the two of you all smirks and giggles as you spare a glance to each other.

“I love playing with you, babe.” Eddie begins, eyes following as you lean to take a sip of your drink from the bedside table. “We’re just… so in sync”

Your hand reaches for his, squeezing it in agreement before stealing a quick kiss from his lips.

“What do you want to play next?” You ask, settling back into your spot at the end of the bed.

Eddie readjusts his slumped position, resting his back fully against the wall.

“You know, you still haven’t played me any of your songs since you’ve been back, Miss singer-songwriter.”

“Yeah…” you draw out as shyness creeps in, tinting your cheeks in blush while you avoid his gaze, fingers toying with the tuner on your strings.

“Sooooo” his foot nudges your leg resting on top of it. “Why don’t you play me something, pretty please?” 

Turning your gaze back, you’re met with his pretty doe eyes. With a deep sigh, you give in.

“Okay, okay. But you have to promise not to judge, I never said I was good.” 

You mimic his earlier movements, setting your posture straight before adjusting your strings.

“Oh, please. I already know you’re gonna blow me away.”

You can’t help but to cut your eyes at him playfully, an unwavering boyish smile etched on his face.

You mull over the handful of songs you’ve written over the last few years, some you’re more confident in than others. Only one song sticks out the most, your most recent, your most vulnerable.

“This is um, a song I’ve been writing over the last couple months.”

He watches you in anticipation, arms crossed over the guitar in his lap. With one last look at him and his excitement from finally getting to hear your work, you bring your eyes down to the guitar in your lap. Taking a deep breath, you let yourself step into the uncomfortable vulnerability. 

You let your eyelids fall closed, tongue darting out to wet your lips before your fingers begin strumming the baseline, head softly bobbing along. Humming the missing main guitar line you’ve written with it. 

Part of you is grateful it doesn’t give you the time to hesitate before you start singing.

“Whenever I’m alone with you,

You make me feel like I am home again.

Whenever I’m alone with you, 

You make me feel like I am whole again.”

Glimpses of memories flood your mind, from that day in 1976 when your eyes first met to the events of the last few weeks, and every emotion that comes with them.

“Whenever I’m alone with you, 

You make me feel like I am young again.

Whenever I’m alone with you, 

You make me feel like I am fun again.”

Despite already being shut, your eyes squeeze closed harder as you’re overcome with the emotion of it all, your love for Eddie. Raising goosebumps all along your skin. 

Nights spent alone in your room since your return to Hawkins, guitar in lap as Eddie would linger in your mind. Your repressed love and the way he makes you feel materializing through the lyrics, falling from your lips with ease.

“However far away,

I will always love you.

However long I stay, 

I will always love you.

Whatever words I say,

I will always love you.

I will always love you.”

The feeling is indescribable, thinking back to the moments you wrote these lyrics when you thought your love was unrequited, to singing your love song to Eddie now as his girlfriend.

You hum along to the guitar solo, teeth digging into your bottom lip to stifle the wetness surrounding your eyes.

A heaviness hangs in your chest and throat with the vulnerability, you can feel your cheeks burning. Refusing to meet it but feeling his eyes on you while you sing your literal heart out for him.

“However far away,

I will always love you.

However long I stay, 

I will always love you.

Whatever words I say,

I will always love you.

I will always love you.”

With a final pluck of the last chord, the sound fades out until your ears are only met with silence. Taking a shaky deep breath, you chance opening your vision to see Eddie’s reaction.

You’re met with glossy eyes, mouth slightly agape, evidence of a single tear painted streak on his cheek.

“You-” wetting his lips, he gulps down the lump in his throat. “Did you write that for me?” he manages to ask in a hoarse whisper.

You give a small nod, chest quickly rising and falling with the anxiety and anticipation of the moment.

In a second, his guitar is off and placed on the floor before he’s crawling to you. Hand sliding to the back of your neck, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. Feeling the dampness of his cheek pressed against yours.

Your lips part only for a second to remove your own guitar before raising yourself to your knees, hands splaying against the cotton material covering his back.

“I love you too, sweetheart.” he mumbles against your lips, stealing another kiss before parting from them again. “No one has ever done anything like that for me before…”

A soft smile plays on your lips, thumb stroking his cheekbone.

“You deserve it. You don’t know how special you are to me, Eds.”

His lips crash into yours again as his arms wrap around your waist, pulling your body flush against him. The action knocks you both off balance, pushing Eddie back and pulling you with him. Your lips never part in the fall, only becoming deeper and more passionate as you land on his pillows. 

The warmth of his calloused hand meets your lower back, sliding under your shirt as your tongues eagerly greet each other. Noses brushing while your tongues engage in a dance you’ve practiced many times over the last 2 weeks. And yet, the intense feelings that come with it do not fade with each occasion your lips have met. Soft moans rising from your throats with each twirl of his tongue around yours. Your fingers finding their new favorite place, nestled in his curls as your thigh lays across his hips, the temptation to fully straddle him and grind your core against his becoming increasingly harder to fight. You’re unable to stop your hips from pressing into his side, seeking any sort of friction between your legs. 

You’re hoping this is it, tonight will be the night you finally take things to the next step. Not left in sexual frustration after your attentions are redirected to another activity, just when you’re brought to the brink of pushing things further. Relieving yourself the second you return to your own bed. 

Having an active sexdrive is no news to you, well versed in pleasuring yourself, more often than not to thoughts of Eddie before bed every night. But since confessing your feelings to each other and spending your free afternoons and evenings with your tongues down each other's throats, your libido has only been sent into overdrive.

You have to admit the constant unspoken denial to your urges have opened the door for thoughts of doubt to creep in. You know the way Eddie feels about you, and you’d like to believe he wants you just as much. You yourself were wary of the pacing of things with Eddie in the beginning, until you realized your relationship is not like anyone else's, nor should it follow the same path or timeline designated by others either. After spending years holding back your feelings, it only makes sense things would move a little fast after they’ve finally been put into the open and reciprocated. You’d figured Eddie would feel the same.

Now it’s been 2 weeks and with multiple passed up opportunities to take things further, you’re only left in confusion. You know he’s been with others before you in far shorter of a time. You only hope you’re overthinking it all and those concerns will be a thing of the past after tonight.

Your hope is cut short when his lips part from yours. Soft pants pouring from his plump lips.

“Do you uh- you wanna watch another movie?”

Your brows raise in disbelief at him as you attempt to catch your own breath. Your frustration boiling over, your head falls onto his chest with a groan.

“I take that as a no?” he lets out a lighthearted chuckle that fades when your head tilts back up, disappointment and uncertainty displayed in your eyes and features.

“Eddie… do you not want to have sex with me?” you ask softly, feebly fighting the hints of insecurity from weaving into your voice. His eyes slightly widen while his brows furrow.

“W-What?”

A frustrated sigh falls from your mouth, propping yourself up with a hand on his chest.

“Every time we do this, every time things get heated and start to go in that direction… you just stop, divert to something else, distract me… I-I don’t know what to think.”

“Baby. Believe me, I want to. You don’t know how hard it’s been to hold myself back, it’s been downright torturous but I… I don’t want to make you feel rushed.” He takes a deep breath to collect himself and his words. “I just think about all you’ve been through, the way others have made you feel and I don’t ever want you to feel like that again, to feel used. I just wanted it to be clear that you…us…it’s more than sex for me, and I guess I thought I needed to take things slow for that.”

“Eddie… how could I ever think that about you? That you could ever be anything like him? I understand where you’re coming from but…don’t you think we’ve already taken it slow enough? Everything? All these years?”

You take a moment to read each other's eyes, his fingertips ghosting along the skin of your arm.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

You can’t help but laugh at the question.

“Eddie, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

He wastes no more than a second to return his lips to yours, rolling over till you’re on your back and his waist is nestled between your thighs. They quickly wrap around him, holding his body against you as your mouths pick up where you left off, only now with no restraint. 

It soon becomes strikingly clear how much Eddie had been holding himself back when his hips grind into yours, a hand slowly gliding up your leg. You can feel the hard outline of his cock through his jeans, pulling a whiny moan from your lips when it grinds against your aching clit.

Your hands find the hem of his shirt, quickly yanking it off for your hands to explore the warm bare skin on his back. His mouth leaves a slow trail kisses from your lips to along your jawline. Fingers in your hair tightening to gently pull your head back, granting him full access for his mouth to explore and attack your neck. Your moans no longer muffled by his lips, they grow louder as he sucks, sending chills down your spine and straight to your pussy, desperately gripping around nothing as your thighs tighten around his waist. An airy, but smug chuckle fills your ears.

“Did I find one of your sensitive spots, sweetheart?”

You can only whimper in acknowledgement and it only makes him harder. Gently kissing and licking the quickly bruising spot on your neck as his free hand toys with your shirt.

“Let’s take this off. I wanna see you, all of you.”

He lifts himself up just enough to help remove your tank top, biting his lip watching you fumble with the hooks on your bra. You look up at him with your gorgeous eyes, removing your bra and throwing it across the room.

His eyes nearly bulge out of his head, breath hitching at not just the sight of your breasts, but the shiny metal accessorizing them. 

“Holy shit” he breathes out as his hands begin sliding up the bare skin of your hips to your waist. “When did you do this?”

“My birthday.” you answer, watching his reaction in amusement.

You lean into his touch as his hands cup your breasts, sighing in pleasure as he kneads and massages them.

“So fucking sexy…” he mutters more so to himself than you before he begins to lean in, intent on letting his tongue play with your nipples.

“Wait, Eds.” your hand presses against his chest, halting his movements. “You can’t touch them, they’re not healed yet.”

“W-Well how much longer?”

“Probably another few month-”

“MONTHS?” His head falls back with a groan as he looks up to the ceiling, as if begging god for mercy. “Why must you tease me like this?”

You giggle at his dramatics, “I think you’ll survive.”

“Hmph, barely. I guess the wait will be worth it.”

He flashes you his signature smile, leaning in to give you another deep kiss before his mouth trails south. Wet, open mouth kisses along your skin between your breasts and down your plush stomach. Biting your lip as you watch him leave small pecks on each stretch mark he sees decorating your skin, inching closer to your core, fighting your thighs from trembling in anticipation. 

As his fingers dig underneath the waistband of your tights, he glances up to you as if asking for permission. With an eager nod he pulls them down, carelessly throwing them off the bed with his eyes glued to your pussy. Mouth hanging open, his hands grip the back of your thighs, pushing them back and out, making your lips spread for him.

“Fucckkkk. Your pussy’s so pretty, baby.” he mutters, laying himself down for his face to hover above your core, looking you over in admiration. A finger slowly drags from your clit down to your soaking hole. “And so fucking wet for me.”

Your face grows even more red from the exposed position, his praises, the sexual build up in your body begging for release. Needy moans bubble out of your throat when his thumb begins circling your clit.

“Eddie, please. I need you, baby. Need to feel you inside me.” 

If you were in your right mind, you’d probably be embarrassed by your desperate pleas, but they only turn Eddie on more. Making him groan as his cock becomes painfully hard, throbbing from the confinement.

He leans back onto his heels, hurriedly unbuckling his belt and yanking down his jeans. Your thighs involuntarily close to provide some friction at the sight of his cock being released from his boxers. You’re mesmerized at the sight, nearly drooling as you admire his length and girth, the vein running along his shaft, the contrast of his metal rings against his pale skin as they glide up and down his length. Your thighs quickly spread back open for him as he crawls between your legs. He notices the way you’re staring at him, and though lust fills your eyes, he bites his lip in nervousness. 

Eddie knows you’re not a virgin, but this is only your second time. His cock isn’t the biggest in the world, but it is bigger than average.

“I promise I’ll go slow, just tell me if you need me to stop, okay?” 

The gentleness of his voice, his promise, his touch as his hand holds your cheek only makes you want him more. With a nod, his lips are back on yours, slotting himself between your legs with the weight of  his body lying on yours. Warm, bare skin pressed against each other, grinding his cock between your folds, collecting your slick along his shaft. Whimpering into his mouth with each nudge of his tip against your clit.

He can’t wait any longer, reaching down to guide his tip to your hole. Slowly teasing your entrance, sliding the tip of his cock in and out. Breathy moans against each other's lips.

When he feels you’re ready, he slides himself inch by inch into you. Warm, wet walls wrapping tight around him. The delicious burn of his girth stretching you out in ways you’ve never felt before, throwing your head back against the pillows as a gasping moan tumbles from your lips.

“Jesus H. Christ” a guttural moan bubbles from his throat, burying his face into your shoulder as he fully seats himself inside you.

He doesn’t dare move, letting you adjust to his size while trying to keep himself from cumming too quickly. Years of desire and tension threatening to be fully released far too soon. You feel even better than he imagined, much better.

With a deep breath, his hips begin to rock back and forth. With one hand holding himself up, the other cradles the back of your head as yours grip onto his back. Your slick coating his cock with each stroke, quickly easing the pain of his stretch to turn into pure pleasure. Your thighs wrapping around him, foreheads pressed together as you stare into each other's eyes. Mouths hanging open as moans fall free.

“Eddieee” a needy whimper when his tip brushes against your sweet spot.

“Do you need me to stop, sweetheart?” he asks breathlessly, halting his strokes.

“God no, please don’t stop” your heels press into his lower back, pushing his cock deep back into you. “You feel so good”

“Fuck, baby. So do you, gripping me so tight” He groans, pressing his lips against yours as he picks up his pace. The sounds of your wetness, skin slapping skin filling his bedroom, mixing in with your moans. 

Your nails dig into his back as you’re filled with pleasure, with each stroke of his cock in and out of your pussy. His eyes roll to the back of his head, parting from your lips with a whimper.

“Fuck, I don’t know how much longer I can last. Feel too good, wanted this, wanted you for so long, baby” he rambles breathlessly, eyes squeezed shut as he focuses on trying not to bust so quickly when your sweet pussy keeps sucking him in, squeezing him so tight.

“I want it, Eds. I wanna make you cum.”

“Shit, sweetheart. Where do you want it?”

“Inside, fuck, I want you to cum in me.”

“Oh my god” 

A hand slides underneath you, wrapping around your waist while the other remains cradling your head. He buries his face in your neck, searching for your sensitive spot. Hoping it’s enough to help you cum with him. The way your nails dig deeper in his back, the way you repeatedly call out his name with his mouth latching onto your neck tells him you’re close. 

“That’s it, baby. Cum for me.” he mutters against your neck, picking up the speed of his thrusts.

It sends you over the edge with a squeal of pleasure, legs shaking, your walls squeezing him tight with a death grip.

He once thought your laugh was his favorite sound in the world. After tonight, it’s dropped down to second place.

The way your pussy pulses around his cock through your orgasm finally makes him falter, groaning your name as he pushes himself as deep as he can inside you, filling you with his cum. 

Your chests heave against each other, bodies relaxing with your release. Panting to catch your breaths. The mix of your juices dripping down your ass and onto his bed sheets beneath you.

After a minute passes, lust no longer clouding his mind, Eddie raises his head from your neck to look at you.

“Did I really just..”

“I’m on birth control, remember?” You chuckle as his face immediately relaxes, head falling back to your neck.

“Oh thank god” he mumbles into your skin, arms wrapping tight around you as your fingers slip into his hair, gently rubbing against his scalp.

You rest there for a few minutes collecting yourselves, evening your breaths and heart rates.

His lips find yours again with slow kisses as he pulls his soft cock from inside you. Moving to lay next to you, pulling you to lay with your back against his chest.

He offers you your drink, quenching your dry throat from the countless moans he fucked out of you. A lit cigarette soon finds its way to your fingers and lips, wordlessly passed between the two of you.

Your head rests back against his shoulder, his arm wrapped around your waist, hand resting on your stomach.

As you lay in each other’s embrace in utter relaxation, all tension and worries fully released from your mind and body, a question of pure curiosity hangs in your mind.

“Eds, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, anything.” he answers, blowing smoke from his lips.

“When did you know? That you felt more for me than just a friend?” you ask, turning your head to peer up at him. He smiles down at you before putting out the cigarette, letting his hand fall to rub up and down your arm.

“It’s uh, hard to pinpoint an exact moment.” he begins with a sigh. “Sometimes seems like I’ve had these feelings for as long as I can remember. 

Maybe it was one of the first few times you snuck out of your trailer when your parents fought and came to Wayne’s, and I’d realized I was that person you wanted to go to to feel safe.

Or whenever something would happen, good or bad, you were always the first person I wanted to tell.

Or maybe it was one of the countless times I’d look at you and wish I could kiss you, hoping I’d always have you in my life.

Or when you left and I stopped hearing from you. The way my heart broke at the thought I’d never see or hear from you ever again.

Or every time I was with another girl… you were always just there in my mind, I’d see your face in theirs.

And when you came back, the way my heart both fluttered and sank to my ass at the sight of you…”

His eyes meet yours, hand moving from your arm to let his fingertips ghost along your jawline.

“I’ve realized I love you so many times, sweetheart. I just never imagined in all those moments… you were falling in love with me too.”

Emotions overwhelm you, a tear falling from your eye as your heart swells in your chest. His finger lands under your chin, tilting your head up to meet his soft lips, your body turning to fully face him, deepening the kiss.

“I love you so much, sweetheart.”

“I love you too, Eds.”

[normspellsman]

masterlist ଘ♡𓏲﹒ॱ˖ ﹆

this is my new & improved masterlist page! links to my works will be posted on here as well as fic recommendations <3.

i really suck at summaries so whatever i put down as the little summary is not the entirety of it

♡ = fluff | ☹︎ = angst / no comfort | ✧ = comfort | ♢ = suggestive content | ♠︎ = other | ❦ = requested | ❀ = popular

here are my rules / my request info page! <3 (requests are closed!)

AVATAR (first film)

— none!

AVATAR: THE WAY OF WATER

Neteyam

Imagines:

secret — ☹︎ | ♢

neteyam x fem!human!reader ➡︎ neteyam had a forbidden relationship with human!reader. but once he announces to the reader that is he arranged to be mated to another, their relationship comes to its inevitable end.

to the ends of pandora — ♡ | ☹︎ | ✧ | ❦

neteyam x fem!human!reader ➡︎ alternative ending / part two of the fic above! after months of being separated and ending on less than good terms, reader and neteyam are finally reunited.

this weight on my shoulders

she is mine + part two — ☹︎ | ♡ | ✧ | ♠︎

neteyam x fem!omatikaya!reader ➡︎ reader is with lo’ak and the rest of the sully children when they get caught by quaritch and his team. can neteyam make it in time to save reader?

this time, let me take care of you — ✧ | ♡ | ❦

neteyam x fem!human!reader ➡︎ reader is not happy with neteyam continuously putting himself on the line for his younger brother. she tends to his wounds while trying her best to be understanding.

Blurbs:

none!

Canons:

neteyam & human!reader as besties! — ❦

Lo’ak

Imagines:

deja vu + part two — ☹︎ | ✧

lo’ak x fem!tawkami!reader ➡︎ instead of seeking refuge within the metkayina clan, jake and his family seek it in the tawkami clan. due to this, it causes detrimental loss to the tawkami people and the potential downfall of lo’ak and reader’s relationship.

closure — ☹︎

lo’ak x sibling!reader ➡︎ following the death of reader, lo’ak finally visits the metkayina spirit tree and begins his journey of healing after a well needed trip down memory lane.

i believe you — ✧ | ♡ | ☹︎ | ❦

lo’ak x fem!older sister!reader ➡︎ after receiving a scolding from his parents about payakan, lo’ak is nowhere to be found. but no worries, reader always finds her littler brother and makes him feel better.

take me with her + part two — ☹︎ | ❀ | ♢ | ✧ | ♡ | ♠︎

lo’ak x fem!human!reader ➡︎ reader is taken along with spider by quaritch and his team. will lo’ak be able to get back his love? or will the time apart and their differences tear what they had apart?

from me to you

Blurbs:

none!

Canons:

fem!navi!reader being lo’ak’s mother!

Kiri

Imagines:

feels like we buried alive something that never died

Blurbs:

none!

Canons:

none!

Tuk (strictly platonic/familial)

Imagines:

time has moved forward but you’re still the same

Blurbs:

none!

Canons:

none!

Ao’nung

Imagines:

forever + part two + part three + part four — ☹︎ | ♡ | ♢ | ✧

ao’nung x fem!sully!reader ➡︎ when lo’ak catches reader and ao’nung cuddled up together one night, he expresses his distaste towards their relationship and nearly ruins his relationship with his twin sister. will lo’ak and reader be able to make up or will this put a dent in their bond forever?

hard for — ♢ | ✧ | ♡

ao’nung x fem!sully!reader ➡︎ upon hearing a rumor about ao’nung one night when reader is out with tsireya and kiri, she confronts her boyfriend about his true intentions with her.

Blurbs:

none!

Canons:

sports i think the metkayina trio + spider would play (modern au!)

Jake Sully

Imagines:

a lesson in pinky promises — ☹︎ | ✧ | ♡ | ❦

jake sully x fem!daughter!reader ➡︎ being the eldest sully child isn’t easy and the other clan kids make sure you know of your “alien blood” nearly every day. what happens when, after a bad beating, jake finds reader crying and trying to bandage herself up?

soft heart

Blurbs:

none!

Canons:

none!

Neytiri

Imagines:

none!

Blurbs:

none!

Canons:

none!

Sully Family (familial/platonic)

Imagines:

can only hope — ☹︎

sully family x familial!reader ➡︎ instead of neteyam dying, it is reader who takes his place.

the sea gives & the sea takes — ☹︎

sully family x familial!reader ➡︎ it’s time for the sully family to say goodbye to their eldest child in respects of the metkayina way.

Blurbs:

none!

Canons:

sports i think the sully children would do (modern!au)

Spider Socorro

Imagines:

a kiss, perhaps — ♡

spider socorro x fem!human!reader ➡︎ reader has explored every inch of the forest she called home. well, nearly every inch. spider knows that she hasn’t visited this one spot yet and plans to take her there as a surprise.

stay away from her

Blurbs:

none!

Canons:

sports i think the metkayina trio + spider would play (modern au!)

Fic Recommendations! <3

ATWOW:

Neteyam

anything by @teyamsatan !! she’s literally such a good writer & her works hit every time istg. more specifically tho, her cardigan saga/series. that shit fucked me up but also healed me & made me giggle + kick my feet at the same time. worth the read 100%

Dad!Jake

anything & everything by @peacelovepandora . love their works!! (night hunters is the first fic i read of theirs & it holds a special place in my heart 🥹)

+ more to be added as i’m revamping my page!

[andreawritesit]

The Red Storm

This is my first time writing anything related to One Piece and I'm extremely nervous. I haven't written anything in 2 years so please bear with my abysmal grammar.

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Fandom: One Piece

Pair: Shanks x Reader

- I wanted it to be a one shot but I'll have to write it in two parts (or more, who knows) -

Part 2 : here

----------------------------------------------------

*CRASH!*

This was not how you wanted your morning to start; with a crash so loud, it must’ve been heard across all the seas. Must be those gremlins! you immediately think. Ever since you had agreed to look after those three, your life had become a whole mess. You take a deep breath and get out of bed to take a shower. You have only just put one foot down when you hear Dadan’s scream followed by loud laughter. Of course, they’re at it again. You sigh and hurry up to the bathroom before you are summoned on your devil babysitting duties. Taking your clothes off, you step under the shower, letting the warm water relieve you of your stress for a moment. However, the relief dies down almost immediately as you find your mind going back to the memories you so desperately try to suppress and yet they keep haunting you every day.

-2 years ago, Windmill Village –

“What do you mean you’re leaving without me? You promised me that I could come along the next time!” Your voice echoed in the empty bar. You didn’t care, you were livid. The man put his straw hat on the table and closed his eyes. 

“Look, I’m sorry. I know I promised but where we’re going is not safe at all. You are not ready to go to the Grand Line. It’s very dangerous and I do not want to risk your life-“ Before he could say anything else, you throw a glass at him which he dodges annoyingly easily. He looks at the shattered glass and then at you. “Calm down, please. Let me explain-“

“SHUT UP! I don’t want to hear any excuses! You promised me, Shanks! Leaving without me means this is over, right? You and me?” He looks at you solemnly and tugs you toward himself. You try to push away from him but as soon as you hit his chest, your arms automatically circle around his neck as you try to stop your tears from falling. He holds you close, without saying anything. Hearing his light breaths, you realize this might be the last time you ever see him. You hug him tighter which he reciprocates. 

“Shanks please don’t leave me…”

He doesn’t reply. Not a word. He just kisses the top of your head. After what feels like an eternity, he releases you and you gasp at the sight of his face. There stood Red-haired Shanks, tears coating his slightly flushed cheeks. You put your hand on his cheek and wipe his tears away, while your own tears release from their prison and onto your cheeks. 

“Please forgive me. The path I am going on is very dangerous. I could never drag you into this mess. Maybe you’ll never forgive me. Maybe you’ll never understand. But I’d rather have your hatred than bear your loss.”

You move your hand from his cheek to his hair and touch your forehead to his. You want to be mad at him. You want to hurt him as he was hurting you. But he was right. You had never left the village. You had no idea of the world outside, especially the Grand Line. Even if he does agree to take you along, you’d end up becoming a burden. 

You try to say you understand but your throat feels heavy so you simply nod. Fresh tears paint his face as he cries silently, already mourning the relationship you both had. Ever since he started frequenting the small village, you both stayed close to each other, the closeness only increasing with every meeting. You would wait for him at the docks with Luffy, looking forward to being in his arms again. And now he would never come running down the docks and pick you up into his arms, smothering you in kisses. 

“Hey,” he says softly, “I want you to do something for me.” You chuckle sadly. What could he possibly need from you now…

“I want you to look after Luffy. He’s going to be very sad after we leave. Knowing that you’ll stay with him will give me peace of mind. Please?” 

“Of course, I’ll take care of him.” 

Shanks nods and hugs you again, this time settling you down in his lap. This time he cries loudly and you don’t silence your sobs either. 

The next morning, you wake up to see flowers near your bed with a goodbye note. That was the last time the red-haired storm rustled your life.  

---- present time -----

You don’t realize how long it has been until you hear Dadan knocking at your bathroom door.

“If you don’t come out in a minute, I will break this door apart!” Dadan’s angry voice drags you back to reality and you quickly dry yourself and put some clothes on. As you emerge from the bathroom, Dadan is onto you, grabbing the collar of your new shirt. “Those three gremlins are getting on my nerves! I’ve been calling them for an hour now but they aren’t listening! Gather them or I’ll throw all four of you out of here!”

You sigh and pry your shirt out of her grasp. She takes a step back and raises an eyebrow. “Well?”

“Well, what?” your voice comes out more rude than you wanted it to be. “I mean, where did they go?” you add on quickly.

“The forest, where else! Hurry up and bring their asses back!”

You nod and head out to the forest. You had promised Shanks to look after Luffy but you had no idea what awaited you. After Garp decided to send Luffy to the mountain bandits, you requested to tag along, which he agreed to. You knew it would be dangerous but what you didn’t know was that you were getting a package deal. At first, it seemed that you would go mad over Luffy and Ace but then another one popped up randomly. Now the three of them had become friends and made it their mission to make Dadan’s life a living hell. You were caught in the crossfire. The boys were very fond of you so they often got behind you to escape Dadan’s wrath and Dadan held you responsible for every slight inconvenience caused by them. It was too much sometimes but it was a reprieve. You couldn’t imagine how you would’ve dealt with Shanks’ departure without the three devils. Speaking of whom, you spot them sitting in their tree house. You smile involuntarily and call them out.

“Luffy! Ace! Sabo! Come down. Time to go home or else Dadan won’t give you any food!”

Luffy is the first to come down, of course, he is. He is followed by Sabo and then finally Ace, who is staring daggers at Luffy. You glance at them, feeling the tension rising with every passing second. Luffy, oblivious to his impending ass-whooping, chuckles loudly and tugs at your shirt.

“Let’s go home quickly! Or else I’ll have to sleep hungry!”

You pat his head softly and he gives you the warmest grin in return. Suddenly you’re reminded of Shanks who used to give you the same warm smile whenever you greeted him at the bar. Stupid Shanks! 

Ace lets out a fake cough and suddenly pulls Luffy’s right ear which stretches unnaturally. Luffy screeches like a crow and sends Sabo into a frenzy of laughter. “Ouch!! Ace, what is this for?”

“What is this for? Really? You idiot! When I said don’t go down, why did you jump?”

“Because she said Dadan won’t give us food!”

“Shut up! You broke the brother code! I’m the oldest, you both listen to me!”

Sabo’s face scrunches up at that. “You know, I still think I’m older than you…”

Ace sends the blonde boy a death glare which shuts him up.

Their innocent altercation fills your heart with warmth. You walk up to them and put your hand on Ace’s shoulder. He looks up at you and his cheeks instantly turn pink. The two boys giggle at that and his scowl returns immediately. 

“Ace, come on now. Be easy on your little brother. All he did was obey me.” you say in hopes of pacifying the angry little boy. He sighs and nods. “Well, I’ll let it go because if we don’t return soon, Dadan will be angry at you. But if they do this again, I’ll kick their asses.” You laugh softly and nod in agreement. “Let’s go then.” 

You start walking back to the house with the three gremlins following you, unaware of the red-haired storm that is making its way back into your life. 

[theladycarpathia]

@hellcheeranniversaryweek Day Six - Stardust

He’d never have found her if their van hadn’t broken down on the way back from a gig. 

They were still several miles outside of Hawkins when the van started sputtering. By the time they’d pulled over to the side of the road, it was spewing black smoke. They’d all piled out and opened up the hood. An hour later, they’re still waiting there and not a single car has come by. The van keeps making choking noises every time they turn the ignition and as the hour ticks on later and later Eddie has to think of a plan B. 

“There was a garage about a mile back,” Eddie says, defeated. He’d thought that things had been looking up but there’s no way they can book any more gigs if they don’t have a van to transport their equipment. They can’t afford another one, not even if they pool their resources so they have to fix this one - or all of their dreams are dead in the water. 

“Give me a torch and I’ll walk it,” Eddie says. “You guys stay here, keep working.”

“You gonna be okay?” Jeff asks, his cheek smeared with grease. “You’re the best at this stuff.” Eddie just shrugs. 

“I’ve tried what i can,” he admits, because it’s been over an hour and the van still refuses to move. “If we can get it back to Hawkins, Wayne might be able to fix it.”

Grant tosses him a torch from the glove compartment and Eddie flicks it on and off. He’s not great at remembering to change the batteries. 

“If I’m not back in an hour, presume I’ve been eaten,” he quips, because it’s a dark empty road and he’s seen enough horror movies to know how this goes. 

But his bandmates merely salute him and Eddie sets off down the road. 

It’s dark and along these solitary back roads late at night, the only light comes from Eddie’s torch and the pale glow of the moon overhead. It’s a surprisingly clear night and Eddie takes a moment to appreciate the stars scattered across the dark sky. He so rarely gets to see them like this. 

“Star light, star bright,” Eddie mumbles to himself, suddenly struck by a rhyme his mother used to say to him when she was alive. When she’d died he’d stopped wishing on stars. There didn’t seem to be any point when wishing didn’t save her. 

“I wish I may,” Eddie continues, trying to remember the rest of it. It’s been over a decade but it comes back to him in a strange haze - the smell of patchouli and lemon soap, watching her fingers trace out stars in the sky. 

He misses her. Some days he doesn’t let himself feel it and he feels guilty about that. But if he let it all in, he’d drown under it. She was meant to be here, meant to see him make it big.

If they ever fix the van and actually get famous, that is. 

The light streaking across the sky catches him off guard. For a second it’s so bright, he thinks that there’s a car coming down the road but then he twists and finds the sky lit up. 

He flinches, because whatever it is is arching low over the ground, far lower than it should be. He can almost feel the heat as it passes by and he ducks to the floor, heart pounding. But it keeps soaring overhead, passing by the line of trees to the right of the road. 

Eddie feels the impact when it lands, the force of it throwing him off balance. The torch flies from his hand and he hears it roll away over the tarmac. He lands heavily on one knee and just about manages to stop himself from going all of the way down. He still catches his wrist at a funny angle and the pain makes him wince. 

And then the night is quiet again and Eddie holds himself very still, heart pounding. He has no idea what just happened but the smaller trees are all flattened, branches broken and splintered by the force of the impact. It could have been anything that suddenly came down like that and while the rational part of him knows that it must be something completely logical - a plane making a crash landing - in the dark and the quiet, his mind immediately finds some terrifying and strange possibilities. 

He’s seen films like this. Aliens falling from the sky. Radioactive material from UFOs. Something about to come out from the trees to eat him. 

But time ticks on, and nothing moves, and nothing glows from between the trees. 

Eddie pushes himself up hesitantly, groaning a little when his knee and wrist twinge in complaint. He finds the torch in the verge, surprisingly still functioning and he shines it towards the devastation. 

“I cannot seriously be thinking about doing this,” Eddie mutters, because the band are waiting for him to get help and this is a surefire way to get killed in any horror movie. 

But for some reason he steps off the road and slides down the grass. 

It’s slow going, crossing all of the fallen trees and debris. It’s also further away than he thought and he keeps thinking that he’s made a mistake. That he should give up and go back, and actually get to the gas station like he promised. 

But something in his chest keeps him moving forward, one foot in front of the other. 

He’s exhausted by the time he gets to the crater, with several scratches down his arms and face. He’d pushed through several bushes to reach the mouth of the crater and he had to flinch, because that same light was coming from the center of it, startling and painfully bright. 

But then the light begins to fade and Eddie lowers the arm he’d hastily thrown up to shield his face. 

The next second, he’s skidding down the crater, nearly falling over head first. 

“Miss!” he calls, because the girl lying on the ground looks unconscious. “Miss, can you hear me?”

But she doesn’t answer and finally he’s on even ground and racing across to her. She’s curled up in a small ball on her side and Eddie can’t see her face - just mounds of red-blonde hair falling down her shoulders. 

“Miss?” Eddie asks hesitantly, because she’s lying there in a shimmery blue gown, nothing on her feet, no purse, no sign of anything. He shines the torch around but there’s nothing - no footprints, no trail, no sign at all that she’s climbed down here like he has. 

Suddenly she groans and twists over, hair spilling across the ground. 

“Miss?” Eddie says anxiously and then doesn’t think of anything else because she’s opening impossibly blue eyes at him. 

For a moment they stare at each other, Eddie half crouched over this strange girl in a crater, and Eddie could almost swear that the light is getting brighter. But it can’t be - not from his shitty torch, or from the moon hanging overhead. He remembers that odd light from before and wonders where it came from.

But then the light is gone again and there’s just a faint shimmer across her cheeks, as she tries to push herself up. 

“Careful,” Eddie says when she collapses back with a squeal of pain. He takes another quick look around, because there’s still something ringing in the back of his mind. It doesn’t look like she climbed down here, and yet her ankle is twisted and swollen underneath her glittery dress. 

And when Eddie looks up into the sky, still filled impossibly with stars, he can’t help but wonder - did she fall? 

Not quite a Stardust AU but definitely a modern AU where Eddie finds fallen star Chrissy and has to figure out what to do with her, especially when certain government officials come looking.

[lovesongbracket]

Reminder: Vote based on the song, not the artist or specific recording! The tracks referenced are the original artist, aside from a few rare cases where a cover is the most widely known.

Lyrics, videos, info, and notable covers under the cut. (Spotify playlist available in pinned post)

Accidentally in Love

Written By: Adam Duritz, Dan Vickrey, David Bryson, David Immergluck & Matthew Malley

Artist: Counting Crows

Released: 2004

“I was really struggling with it. I generally don’t write songs on demand, and I almost got to the point where I thought I wasn’t going to do it. They just told me that the song had to be uplifting. They actually said, ‘Don’t write a song about Shrek. Write a song that’s about you.’ The funny thing is, the song ended up reflecting a lot of what was going on in my life at the time: falling in love with someone you’re not supposed to fall in love with because it’s inconvenient. My songs for Counting Crows are mature and generally don’t get a chance to reach kids. To be part of something like that is pretty cool.” – Adam Duritz via Billboard

[Verse 1] So, she said, "What's the problem, baby?" What's the problem? I don't know Well, maybe I'm in love (Love) Think about it Every time I think about it Can't stop thinking 'bout it How much longer will it take to cure this? Just to cure it, 'cause I can't ignore it if it's love (Love) Makes me wanna turn around and face me But I don't know nothin' 'bout love, uh [Chorus] Come on, come on Turn a little faster Come on, come on The world will follow after Come on, come on Because everybody's after love [Verse 2] So I said, I'm a snowball runnin' Runnin' down into the spring that's comin' All this love meltin' under blue skies Belting out sunlight, shimmering love Well, baby, I surrender To this strawberry ice cream Never-ever-ender All this love Well, I didn't mean to do it But there's no escaping your love, oh [Bridge] These lines of lightnin' mean we're never alone Never alone No, no [Chorus] Come on, come on Move a little closer Come on, come on I wanna hear you whisper Come on, come on Settle down inside my love, ohh Come on, come on Jump a little higher Come on, come on If you feel a little lighter Come on, come on We were once upon a time in love [Post-Chorus] We're accidentally in love, accidentally in love Accidentally in love, accidentally in love Accidentally in love, accidentally in love Accidentally in love, accidentally in love Accidentally, I'm in love, I'm in love [Refrain] I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love Accidentally, I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love Accidentally [Chorus] Come on, come on (Come on) Spin a little tighter Come on, come on (Come on) And the world's a little brighter Come on, come on (Come on) Just get yourself inside her love I'm in love

Demolition Lovers

Written By: Matt Pelissier, Mikey Way, Ray Toro & Gerard Way

Artist: My Chemical Romance

Released: 2002

The Demolition Lovers are the couple seen on the cover for MCR’s next album, Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge. This song, along with much of the album, is a prequel to the story of Three Cheers… in which a man makes a deal with the devil to get his dead lover back by killing 1,000 evil men and giving the devil their souls in exchange for her. This song is most likely where the lover dies. The two “Demolition Lovers” are featured on the cover of the album.

[Verse 1] Hand in mine, into your icy blues And then I'd say to you, "We could take to the highway With this trunk of ammunition, too" I'd end my days with you, in a hail of bullets [Chorus] I'm trying, I'm trying To let you know just how much you mean to me And after all the things We put each other through and [Verse 2] I would drive on to the end with you A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full And I feel like there's nothing left to do But prove myself to you, and we'll keep it running [Chorus] But this time, I mean it I'll let you know just how much you mean to me As snow falls on desert sky Until the end of everything I'm trying, I'm trying To let you know how much you mean As days fade and nights grow And we grow cold [Post-Chorus] Until the end, until this pool of blood Until this, I mean this, I mean this, until the end of [Chorus] I'm trying, I'm trying To let you know how much you mean As days fade and nights grow And we grow cold But this time, we'll show them We'll show them all how much we mean As snow falls on desert sky Until the end of every… [Interlude] All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this [Guitar Solo] [Bridge] As lead rains will pass on through Our phantoms forever, forever Like scarecrows that fuel this flame We're burning forever and ever Know how much I want to show you You're the only one Like a bed of roses There's a dozen reasons in this gun [Outro] And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever!

[itbmojojoejo]

Crimes Of Passion | Part 10

Pairings: Finan x OFC & Sihtric x OFC

Summary: Departure day arrives, but what will Runa do?

Wordcount: 4.3k | Part 1 | Other works.

Warnings: MDNI18+.Alcohol consumption, smoking, Oral (F receiving), Unprotected PinV, slight orgasm denial.If I have missed anything please let me know!

Authors note: I thank you for your patience while I worked through a nasty bout of writers block, but here is the final part. Thank you @arcielee for looking at the bare bones of this and offering kind words of encouragement, as always xo.

Reclining on a sofa under the dim orange light of a tall lamp and sipping on a glass of white wine, Brida watched Ragnar pacing the length of their living room waiting to hear news from Uhtred. Neither of them were startled when the telephone rang, but the voice Brida had not expected to hear on the end of the line was Runa’s. 

Having grown close to the young woman she now considered to be a sister, Brida had no issue in leaving Ragnar to wait on Uhtred as she packed an overnight bag along with a bottle of whiskey she knew would be needed to survive a night of delicate emotions. 

Brida had completed the gruelling task of removing every single small shard of glass that had clung to Runa’s skin, took note of every injury that her body now wore, and helped clean her up as best as she could while gently shushing Runa’s tears listening to the tale of what unfolded earlier that evening. 

The pair lounged across Runa’s bed, the one room untouched by chaotic packing with everything washed in a pink tint from the red curtains, as their discussion tumbled down the rabbit hole that was Runa’s feelings for Sihtric. 

“I know Sihtric being taken is why you are so scared to let him back in, but love isn’t always a weakness Runa, most times it’s a strength.” Brida calmly reasoned, fighting back her irritation that Runa wouldn’t just accept her feelings for what they were and claim her man. 

“He nearly died, I don’t want to be the reason he’s in that situation again.” Runa sighed, running a tattooed finger around the rim of her glass. 

“It would have happened whether you were considered a couple or not. The fact that you were only helped their cause.” 

Runa shrugged a shoulder, followed by a small wince, and Brida’s growing annoyance became clear in her next words,

“Gods are you really going to let the actions of a group of turds rule how you live your life now?”

“That’s not what’s happen-” Runa started but Brida cut her off, 

“Leaving, running away, whatever it is you’re doing isn’t going to change how you feel for him. The only difference is you’ll be moping there instead of here.”

“I don’t mope,” the redhead sulked. 

Brida scoffed before finishing off her glass, 

“But seriously Runa, other than a man, have you considered everything else you’ll be leaving behind?”

“Like what? Cnut?” 

“No, you shit! Me!” Brida laughed, nudging Runa’s leg with a foot, “Don’t leave me all alone trying to juggle Ragnar and the business, plus whatever nuisances follow Uhtred.” 

“Did you know Ragnar has left everything to me if something happens to him? The club, the house, everything. But we know that at least half of the men on the books are loyal to Cnut, I would need to have him as my right hand to keep everything flowing smoothly, now who do you think Cnut needs to take over his current role?”

Runa sucked in a breath before responding,  “Me.”

“Yes, you. So do you know what, fuck it, go run away, just know at some point you could be called right back and we both know you aren’t going to say no to your brother. By leaving now you’ll only be postponing the bullshit you could fix first thing tomorrow.”

“And if I can’t fix it?”

“You’ll mope no doubt, find another man to distract yourself with, then move on.” Brida finished with a small shrug. 

The idea of moving on sat uncomfortably in Runa’s mind as sleep struggled to find her that night. 

As the days passed and blended into one blur of packing boxes, visiting with Cnut to make sure her young nephews would have everything they needed when they arrived in Denmark, and tying up loose ends at The Dunholm the day of Clapa’s funeral arrived sooner than expected. 

It was already warm for late morning, not a single cloud marred the clear sky as the two firms came together once more. Runa stayed close to Brida and Ragnar during the service, only braving a look at Sihtric as they all congregated outside in the cemetery. 

He was unreadable, but the subtle bags under his eyes revealed that perhaps he hadn’t been sleeping well. At his side was Finan, although the Irishman was putting on a brave face his dark eyes glittered in the sunlight, exposing the tears threatening to spill over as he said goodbye to his friend. 

In the row behind stood Osferth, Runa didn’t know if it was because she hadn’t paid much attention to him recently but he no longer looked like an anxious fresh-faced boy eager to become a man. Although solemn he seemed stronger and more confident, which made her sad knowing what took place for this change to occur. 

Runa had volunteered to be a designated driver for the night, she hoped to avoid any unwanted conversations happening due to a lack of filter and so far it had worked. She sat in a booth along the back wall opposite the bar of The Dunholm, at first with Brida and Gisela as they chatted idly about recent goings-on until the two women eventually drifted off as they consumed more drinks. 

As the afternoon got later Osferth made his way over, the two conversed easily as he gave Runa updates on the renovations over at The Beacon and how it should be opening any day now. 

But Runa noticed how if she looked Osferth in the eye he would shift and look towards his pint with a question forming on his lips but never coming. 

“Osferth, ask your question.” She smiled warmly, hoping it would allow him to open up. 

He took a sip of his drink and finally held eye contact, 

“Did you have feelings of disgust, after you’d..” 

She hummed with a nod knowing exactly where the conversation was going, 

“Yes. We’re not beasts. It may have been an act of self-defence but the guilt of taking a life doesn’t care about whys or how’s.”

Finan scoffed at their exchange as he took a seat in the booth with them, “Your first wasn’t self-defence though, was it now?”

Runa sighed and rolled her eyes, she should have known he’d be keeping an eye on his younger companion, 

“I told you not to believe everything my brother says.” 

“It wasn’t Cnut who told us,” Finan replied, turning his whiskey glass. 

“But it was him who spun the original tale.”  

“So what really happened?” Osferth questioned, looking between the Irishman and Dane.

Taking a deep breath Runa shook a cigarette out of the tattered carton on the table, 

“When we were kids there were a few older boys who would play rough with the girls, one day they decided it was my turn and when Cnut couldn’t find me he..” 

Thinking back to the events that took place over a decade ago she placed her smoke between her lips as her engraved zippo sparked to life, “Anyway somehow he found us all, he had our father's gun and a fight broke out, he dropped it during the struggle and I thought to myself this is it, it’s them or us.” 

Exhaling a thick cloud downwards she watched the smoke roll over the tabletop before continuing,

“Cnut thought it would be best to tell everyone that I just snapped, he didn’t want me to live in shame. This made people want to test me though, and over time I learned that men were uneasy around a woman who held them at gunpoint, commanding them calmly and only shrieking if it called for it. ” 

Osferth lightly tugged on his bottom lip with his teeth and tapped his fingers off his pint of ale as Finan looked at Runa. His brain quickly flipped through every story Cnut had rattled off about how his sister always had a dangerous streak, that she was chaotic and couldn’t always be relied on, that she was ruled by her emotions alone and now he didn’t believe any of that. 

It was simply an older brother finding ways to protect his sister without making her seem fragile.

Now he thought about it, the only time he had ever seen Runa react on emotions alone was hearing that her brother and Sihtric were taken, and when they went to retrieve them she trusted her gut when it told her they would kill Sihtric, and she had been right. 

Clearing his throat Finan finally broke the silence, 

“Alright, you learned how to look after yourself, that I understand. But how did you end up following your brother into this business?”

“I was the only one he truly trusted to look out for him, and for a while, it was the same for me. Now I know nothing but this life.” She shrugged. 

“You don’t ever think of getting out? Going straight?”

Runa laughed, cocking her head to the side and meeting his eyes, “Do you?”

Drinks continued to flow among the mourners and Runa found herself standing at the bar with her brother and Finan, she would sneak a glance to the other end where Sihtric sat with Uhtred engaged in their private conversation that Gisela would occasionally add a comment to. 

For the first time, she noticed that the lilt of Finan’s voice got stronger with the more drinks he had which made her second guess if she had heard him correctly, or perhaps she had always noticed but usually kept up with his drinking so it was never an issue. He and Cnut enthusiastically shared stories of their time in their respective homes before they ended up in London when her brother laughed heartily and clapped Finan on the back muttering he needed a piss and left the pair alone. 

The Irishman threw his arm over her shoulder, sloshing his drink near her face in the process making her take the glass out of his hand, 

“Okay, I don’t think you need any more of these,” Runa giggled,

“Hey look at me.” Finan’s request came huskily, as he hooked a finger under her chin turning her face to meet his golden brown stare. 

His brows pulled together as he strained to focus then gave her a wide smile as the freckles framing her eyes became clear instead of a faint blur on her skin, 

“I thought I could tame you,” He laughed with a slight shake of his head, “and that if I did you’d think me right for doing so and let me in, but I was wrong. You don’t need taming or changing in any way. You’re beautiful as you are, wild and free to make your own choices.” 

As his smile faded with his words Runa saw the truth written all over him making her unable to pin his statement as alcohol induced. 

“Finan..”

He held his hand up to shush her and took his drink back from the bar top, 

“You don’t have to say anything, just know that I’m sorry for that.”

“I’m sorry too.”

Sihtric had been keeping tabs on Runa throughout the day, even as he spoke to Uhtred about the reopening of Bebbanburg’s Beacon and Gisela’s hopes of peace now that Erik and Sigefrid were no longer a threat. 

He’d witnessed the embrace of Finan and Runa after a shared moment they had and for a small second a pang of jealousy hit his nerves, but Osferth soon assured him that Runa was a designated driver, it was nothing but a friend apologising for past behaviours and this put him at ease. At least one of them would get a bit of closure, he thought. 

He then watched Runa struggle to wrangle up Cnut and Ragnar while Brida stood at the bottom of the stone steps with her shoes in hand laughing at the men who ran back up and down them every time she tried to get them to get them into the car at the end of the night.

It was the passing comment Gisela had made to Uhtred earlier in the night that stuck with him as he lay in bed staring at the ceiling, she was sad that Runa would be missing the opening night. Runa must be leaving within the next two days, why else would she be unable to attend?

A restlessness prevented Sihtric from relaxing the next morning, it was silently urging him to do something. He paced in circles around his small kitchen, his hand twitching for the bottle of rum on the counter every so often but he decided against it. 

Attempting to sit in his armchair, the memory of Runa barefoot and looking panicked as she placed her revolver on his coffee table greeted him. He sighed the image of her away and began to lace his shoes as The Jive Bombers playing on the radio filled his apartment. 

Rolling a cigarette for the drive with no destination in his mind the song turned to You Belong To Me, the very song Runa had hummed along to as she seamlessly applied her eyeliner at The Beamfleot. Muttering a string of curses under his breath he grabbed the car keys from the empty fruit bowl on the low table and headed out. 

Sihtric didn’t bother to close the small gate behind him as he approached her front door, his top lip briefly pulling up at the idea she could turn him away. Runa answered the door sooner than he expected, taking him off guard slightly. 

Neither of them said anything as they took in the sight of each other, it wasn’t until a neighbour across the road stood on their own doorstep that Runa stepped aside to let him enter. 

As Runa closed the door behind him he took note of the train tickets sitting on the side table next to her purse, London Victoria, Platform two, nine o'clock. 

Clearing her throat she squeezed past him in the hallway, “I’m just finishing off some packing…” she trailed off quickly making her way up the stairs. 

“What day do you leave?” Sihtric asked, slowly following her. 

“Tomorrow night,” Runa called over her shoulder as she disappeared into her bedroom.

“Tomorrow…” He repeated quietly, pausing on the final step and lightly tapping his hand on the bannister. 

Although Runa was out of sight her shadow was visible to Sihtric who remained on that very last step, he saw the way she kept moving her head towards the door, probably wondering if he was following her or not. Even though he had told himself he wasn’t here to ask her to stay, the words were trying to bubble their way up his throat, refusing to go back down as he swallowed. 

Runa emerged in the doorway, her brows knitted together, but her question came quietly, “Why did you come here?”

With a gentle shake of his head, Sihtric wet his bottom lip and opened his mouth to speak before pausing and choosing his words carefully avoided her eyes,

“I just wanted to see you, to say goodbye…”

A barely audible sigh left Runa’s lips as she stepped forward and pulled him into her, tightly wrapping her arms over his shoulders. Sihtric instinctively buried his head into her neck, soaking up the warmth of her embrace and coiling his arms around her waist. 

Feeling his fingers press further into her, Runa moved a hand to the nape of Sihtric’s neck in an attempt to offer further comfort, or an attempt to offer a silent apology, she wasn’t quite sure which. 

She could feel Sihtric’s pulse hammering against his skin under her fingertips, his shallow warm breaths hitting her prickling flesh from the way his lip ever so slightly brushed her neck. Runa felt the unexpected slow flow of tears work their down her cheeks to the corner of her mouth making her pull back from Sihtric to wipe at her face. 

With his hazel eyes mirroring her sadness and confusion, Sihtric wiped away a stray tear she missed with his thumb, “Why are you crying?” he asked with his voice barely above a whisper. 

Unsure of how to answer, Runa held Sihtric’s hand to her cheek, softly pressing her lips into the base of his palm. Tucking a strand of her copper hair behind an ear, Sihtric inched closer, brushing his thumb over her lips before gently holding her by the jaw. 

She didn’t protest as he closed the small distance bringing his mouth to hers in a slow kiss. With a quiet hum, Runa grasped the front of his shirt, tugging him closer and forcing him to leave the final step of the stairs. 

Walking her backwards towards the door of the bedroom and tangling his hands into Runa’s hair, Sihtric messily licked into her mouth, the desperation to have her in any way he could even if only for a moment pouring into her. 

Slipping her hands under the hem of his shirt Runa breathed the question, “What are we doing?”

“Saying goodbye,” Sihtric mumbled back against her lips guiding her through the bedroom. 

As clothing was removed and kisses were hurriedly placed on freshly exposed skin until they both stood completely bare, Runa perched on the edge of her bed. Sihtric knelt between her spread legs, trailing his lips along the inside of her thigh, flashing a smirk before dipping down and swiping his tongue through her folds, devilishly flicking the tip over her clit making her hips jolt at the sensation. 

Falling back into the mattress Runa’s head became void of all worries, barely able to focus on anything but Sihtric’s ministrations with her legs slung over his broad shoulders, his tattooed fingers gripping the plush skin on her thighs as he worked her cunt with long slow strokes to savour her taste. 

A desperate whine fell from her lips as Sihtric moved to place wet kisses on her abdomen up to the middle of her chest and manoeuvred them further up the bed. With his hips nestled between her thighs, Sihtric pushed his cock into her warm walls inch by inch, his lust-laden gaze focused on how Runa’s eyes fluttered shut as he stretched her out bit by bit agonisingly slow. 

Ghosting his lips over hers he rasped, “Eyes on me.”

He hummed in approval seeing the blue of her iris being swallowed by her blown pupils and took her hands in his, placing them on either side of her head and laced their fingers together. 

The languid rolls of his hips had trembling gasps escaping Runa’s mouth as her nails bit into the back of Sihtric’s hands, a feeble attempt at staying grounded while a fire began to grow in her veins under the weight of him. 

Sihtric felt every shift in her body and took in every minuscule detail he could. The way her jaw began to go slack, her skin growing warmer by the second, each hard swallow she took breaking the sweet noises tumbling from her lips, how she delicately nudged her nose with his silently asking for a kiss. He wanted to remember it all. 

Runa lost count of how many times he would stop rutting into her just as the slight fluttering of her walls around his length began. Her choked sobs with each denial had Sihtric’s cock throb inside her, he wanted the release as much as she did but he wasn’t ready to let her go just yet. 

When he finally allowed them to fall apart together he felt drunk on Runa’s shakey moans that filled the room. Untangling their hands, Sihtric laid on her chest listening to the rapid beating of her heart slowly return to a normal pace while she softly raked her hands through his hair. 

They stayed tangled together in silence, just listening to the other breathe until the sun began to set, casting the room into a golden glow.  

Sihtric didn’t know what words to say as they parted on her doorstep, but the way she stood with her eyes on the floor reminded him of the morning he drove her home. With a small smile, he pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth and she turned to give him a final quick peck, pushing him away with a closed fist. 

Runa stood there watching him leave, he gave no final glance over his shoulder as he drove away. She had no coherent thoughts about anything that had transpired, instead, she carried on packing her things in a near-hypnotic state, floating through the motions on autopilot without a care. 

It was a different story in the morning, she was all too aware of the lingering scent of Sihtric, how empty the house was looking with everything in boxes, and how in a few hours she would be at Cnut’s to collect his wife and sons to sit on a train that would take her to Paris, and a second on to Denmark. 

Now sitting on top of her sister-in-law's large trunk with her own smaller suitcases to the side, Runa had her chin resting in a hand, one leg crossed over the other and her foot restlessly making circles in the air. 

She kept an eye on the two young red-haired boys as they excitedly ran up and down the platform, weaving in and out of the strangers also standing by waiting for the train that would take them from London to Paris through the night. 

As the hands on the large black iron clock got closer and closer to nine o'clock the pit in her stomach grew larger, threatening to push bile up her throat. Runa had sworn to Cnut when they fled from Denmark all those years ago that she would never run away from a place she called home ever again, yet here she was, running away and it sat heavily on her chest. 

At eight fifty the screeching of the train's wheels against the tracks and hiss of its steam engine as it came to a stop had Runa closing her eyes at the realisation of what she was doing. 

She was no longer sure if this was the right thing to be doing, leaving her life along with Sihtric behind her. If they had met when she first arrived in London would she still be doing this? Runa couldn’t be sure. 

But what she did know for certain at this moment was that she didn’t want their shared time or the small details of him that had engrained themselves into her brain to slip away, memories have a habit of fading and she didn’t want him to become a hazy blur, like a dream she would never be able to fully piece back together.

As she ushered her nephews onto the train behind their mother she stood on the step, one unsteady hand resting on the open window of its door. 

Across the city, the newly opened gentleman's club Bebbenbrug’s Beacon had opened its doors to old and new patrons. The dark wooden floors were no longer scuffed and worn but fresh and renewed, the old ale and whiskey barrels that previously decorated the walls had been repurposed with a coat of varnish to make up smaller round tables. 

In place of the old rectangular bar was now an elegant curved bar gilded with shiny brass decor. Snooker tables had been relocated to an area further down into the building with tall stools nestled under mounted wall tables for participants or onlookers, the alcoves now housed cosy seating if a guest was wanting a more private outing. 

“So, she’s gone then?” Osferth questioned Sihtric who was in the middle of a snooker game with Finan. 

Sihtric frowned at his missed pot as he answered flatly, “Her train is at nine.” 

“Don’t want to go down there, y’know, see her off?” Finan piped up.

“I’ve already said goodbye. If she were going to stay she would have made that decision yesterday.” 

Sihtric chalked his cue while trying his best to focus on the snooker table, the odd flash of Runa appearing in his mind when he saw the slim crescent-shaped bruises on the backs of his hands. As the game continued he beat down the thought that maybe if he had asked, even against her wishes, she would have said yes to staying. 

That way he wouldn’t be stood at the furthest end of the club on the very last snooker table sulking over a too-small glass of whiskey while chain-smoking and despising the laughter of Uhtred’s new club members. She would be there beside him, asking for one of his hand-rolled cigarettes and stealing sips of his drink instead of getting her own. 

He imagined her blue eyes staring at him from across the table, goading him in an attempt to throw him off his game, or perhaps they wouldn’t even be there, they’d be at home, enjoying each other’s company alone and away from the curious gaze of strangers.  

Daring to glance up at the clock, Sihtric's stomach sank and his mouth grew dry. It was quarter past nine. Before his thoughts could swallow him whole Finan put a fresh drink down in front of him, 

“Look at us, two miserable bastards in one of the finest establishments the city has to offer.” The Irishman sassed hoping to get rid of the scowl on his friend’s face. 

The corner of Sihtric’s mouth twitched up as he lit another cigarette, “You’re up, actually try this round, please.” 

Finan took up his position with a chuckle just before his smile dropped, “Uh, what time did you say Runa’s train was again?”  

The rich sound of heels clicking on the new wood flooring suddenly hit Sihtric’s ears as the chatter around him grew quiet. It wasn’t until the steps stopped beside him and his cigarette was gently plucked from his fingers that he turned to look at her. 

A small smile played on Runa’s lips as she stared up at Sihtric from under her lashes. 

End Notes: Thank you for reading my brainrot 🖤 The masterlist for this series has been updated with a playlist for this series if you're interested in that kind of thing xo

Taglist: @emilyhufflepufftlk @finanmoghra @deandoesthingstome @gemini-mama

[yoongi-sugaglider]

Daegu Quarentine

Jungkook x reader

Gang/ zombie apocalypse au

Warnings:

Gore, violence, zombies, mention of drugs and drug dealing, weapons discharge in self defense, main character death, zombies, course language, zombies, drinking, did I mention zombies?

Summary:

They were the top of their game, known throughout the city as the smartest and most dangerous crew to ever hit the Daegu streets. But what’s going to happen when this group of young men encounter something right out of a horror film?

Word count:2120

Part 19===Part 20===Part 21

The soldier walked off after his little declaration, leaving our group to dissolve into pure chaos. The boys talked over each other, argumentative as could be as their voices raised more and more in an effort to be heard over each other.

I could understand their frustration, a lot had happened to us over the last few days so tempers were bound to flair. Right now though…right now was not the time to be arguing.

“Boys, please. We’ve got to stop all this.” I muttered, fingers rubbing at my temples as I closed my eyes to the throbbing pain in my leg.

They couldn’t hear me of course, too busy posturing over the bull shit that is Eun Kwang.

“Boys!” I barked, pain and frustration laced in my voice as I banged my fists on the countertop. “That is quite enough out of all of you!” 

The arguing stopped instantly as all eye fell on me. I frowned, looking at each of them in turn before glancing out at the rest of the room. Everything had gone quiet. Or I should say every one.

“We can’t keep this up. Lives depend on the outcome of this. More than our own.” I gestured to the civilians huddled around the room, each of them looking at us with fear and hope. They seemed to understand well enough that if they had even the slightest of chances of getting out of this situation they had better at least pay attention to what was going on with us. There was no doubt at this point that they’d heard everything.

Namjoon sighed, shoulders dropping as he nodded in agreement with me. “Boss lady is right boys. This can’t keep up. Eun Kwang’s already got the jump on us with Jin and Hobi under his thumb. If we want any hope of getting them back and getting out of here we’re gonna have to work with him…for now…”

“That’s such utter bullshit! Don’t you remember what he did to us? What he did to Her?” Yoongi stepped up, fury written in every movement he made as he stalked over to poke Namjoon in the chest with his lighter while pointing directly at me.

“I am well aware Yoongi.” Namjoon grumbled. “I know because I’m partially responsible for what happened. We all are. That’s not the point though is it?”

I caught movement out of the corner of my eye as they argued, demanding my attention as I watched one of the old men shuffle towards us. He seemed hell bent on making his presence known, feet dragging slightly as he shoved his way between Yoongi and Namjoon.

“I don’t know what connection it is you have with this phone fella. But we’re safe here. Some of us don’t take too kindly with the mess you lot have made of things. Whatever it is that you’re planning, you need to leave us out of it.”

Several others grumbled along with him, some even standing as if to back the old man up.

“Don’t you lot get it?” Namjoon demanded, heckles raised as he frowned down at the old man. “You’re being used. Those military idiots don’t give a damn who lives or dies right now. At best you’re all being kept alive out of guilt, at worst you’re bait in case they need to make a quick get away.”

The man scoffed. “You have zero proof of that. They’ve been nothing but kind to us since we got here.”

“Kind?” Rose demanded, speaking up from her quiet corner of the room. “Would kind people beat up and abuse two innocent women? Lock you all into a kitchen and ‘allow’ you to leave twice a day for bathroom privileges? Would kind people hold you at gun point while you march around this building to their tune of get in line and comply? They’ve used you all to cook their food and clean their toilets and at best allowed you the illusion of safety and freedom, but the second a single one of you steps out of line I bet they’re gonna send you right outside the safety of this building as cannon fodder for those monsters out there.”

A look of horror washed over the group as realization dawned on them.

“Oh? Looks like some of you are familiar with that idea?” Jeanette grumbled, arms folded over her belly as she tapped her foot impatiently at the look of shame on their faces.

“What if…” I hummed, finger tapping the phone screen. Glancing up I frowned at them all. “What if we could prove they’re not as kind and courageous as you all think they are?”

The old man paused in his attempts to work the crowd up again.

“Oh? And how are you gonna do that?”

I pulled the ear piece out I’d been using before. “With this…”

***

“This is super important little buddy do you think you can do this?”

The young boy nodded as he imitated an adorably awkward military salute.

“This here is a blue tooth. It’s gonna let us hear anything the bad men say so that everybody here will know what’s going on alright? Let your dad know he has to take it from me so we can hear. It’s super important to our secret escape plan okay?”

The boy’s eyes widened, a look of wonder flashing across his face. “It’s just like a spy movie!” He whisper yelled.

“That’s right little buddy.” I smiled softly, reaching out to ruffle his hair. “And you’re job is the biggest most important part. You get to be the spy carrying super secret top information. Make sure nobody hears you at all okay?”

He nodded, form trembling in excitement that he seemed so desperately trying to contain.

“Yes Ma’am! I’ll be a real good spy just you watch!”

I grinned, winking at him as he dashed off to his corner of the kitchen to wait for his dad’s return.

“I really don’t like this…” Namjoon grumbled, hands shoved deep in his pockets as he eyed the door before turning to glare at the phone on the table.

“What choice do we have Joonie? These people aren’t gonna get behind our plan unless they have proof the military isn’t here to help us. We have to do this.”

“Yeah, but we’re putting our lives in the hands of a little kid barely old enough to know to wipe his own ass. I mean look at him. He’s already told the little girl what’s going on, who’s to say the others won’t know what’s going on by the time the troops come back in here?” Tae shuffled in his spot, eyes down cast as he made his opinion known.

“It’ll be fine Tae. I’m sure this will work, we just have to be patient.” I made my way over to Kook, curling up in the safety of his arms as I turned to watch the little kids play.

“This just has to work…”

***

“The fuck is this?”

My eyes widened in pain and panic as the bluetooth was ripped from my ear. Sure enough as soon as the men in uniform had come back the marine was at my side, eyes glaring harshly at me as he held up the small ear piece.

“It’s just a blue tooth. What, you never seen one?” I glared, snatching the item back and squinting my distaste in his direction.

“Hand it over.” The man growled, eyes narrowed as he held out his hand.

Namjoon stepped forward, hands in the air to show he wasn’t a threat. “Please sir, you can’t take it. She’s partially deaf.”

“The fuck’s that got to do with anything?”

“My buddy had it specially set up so she could hear what’s going on around her. Without the bluetooth she wouldn’t be able to head if those things came after her.” Namjoon took a step back, eyes wide and pleading. “Please don’t take it…sir?”

The soldier scoffed, shoving the device in his breast pocket. “You ask me she’s better off without it. One less mouth to feed if those things do get her.”

The other soldiers with him laughed, each finding joy in the idea of a deaf girl getting eaten. I could feel Kookie bristle beside me, but I reached out for him in reassurance and he immediately calmed down.

The soldiers filed out of the room, having had their fill of antagonizing and intimidating the group and slammed the kitchen door shut behind him.

“Now what?” The old man demanded, shuffling over to our group and making his previous demands known once again.

“Just a sec.” Tae muttered, tapping on the phone’s screen and turning the volume up for everyone to hear.

Voices came through the small phone speaker, hushed at first but increasing as the volume was adjusted properly.

"We've been using the choppers to lure the monsters into a funnel. But they're starting to get desensitized to the noise, only half the time will we get a full horde going that we can mow down. Eventually, we'll run out of fuel and bullets though and then what?"

"Evacuate boss? I don't know…"

"Evacuate how? We have too many civilians to protect. We can't very well take them with us, and leaving them behind is just as bad."

"Fuck em tho. For real, what's the point in saving a bunch of ungrateful assholes. Not to mention the drug slingers n shit. Fuck em. Folks in HQ don't have to know. Every man for himself, but protect your battle buddy. Not a one of them has ever seen a battle. They're just dead weight and if we don't cut it out now like the cancer it is, we're all gonna end up dead, or worse undead."

There began a murmur in the listening group. It started out as hushed whispers but ever so slowly became a dull roar of protests and outrage. Everyone knew that voice, it was Jenkins.

It didn’t exactly thrill me to have heard the words, even if I’d fully expected them. Honestly, there was a huge part of me that had fully hoped it wasn’t the case. That we wouldn’t have to rely on the faint hope that Eun Kwang and the others would pull through and save us.

But the looks on the people’s faces, young and old. The betrayal? That I just couldn’t stand by. It filled me with rage pure and simple, something I hadn’t felt in such a very long time. That those in power could dare to push us little people down at their own expense.

No. That could not stand.

The marine returned, grim faced and frowning as the other civilians mobbed him, demanding answers, demanding they be allowed to fight against the idiots that had put themselves in charge.

Jungkook was quick though, stepping between the American and his country men and calming them quickly with a look and a cleared throat.

“We won’t sit down and die. Not like they want us to. Trust me, we have a plan. And if we all work together I can promise that as many of us as possible will come out alive on the other side of this. I just ask that you have a little patience. And when the time comes I can promise those idiots out there will get theirs.”

The crowd dispersed amidst grumbling and complaints but dispersed nonetheless.

Namjoon quickly waved the two men over, having called Eun Kwang back and holding out the phone so that the marine could be involved in the conversation.

“Tell me what you know. Everything you can see from the outside and what you’ll have access to once it gets dark.” Namjoon spoke quickly, eyes sparkling with determination in the low light as he and the marine spoke to Eun Kwang and his men.

The strategy they came up with felt simple enough. Destroy what vehicles they could get to, sabotage the front door during the marine’s look out shift, cause an explosion or two to distract the other military men and women and make our escape.

Well...okay, so it really wasn’t all that simple…

“We’re relying an awful lot on Eun Kwang for this to actually work.” Yoongi muttered, fiddling with the lighter he always kept on him as he watched Namjoon work.

“None of us likes this Yoongs. Least of all Eun Kwang. But you heard him. He owes Kook, big time. He may be a two-timing backstabbing piece of shit garbage, but if there’s anything we’ve ever been able to rely on when it comes to him, it’s that he sticks to his word once he gets an idea in his head.”

[mariethekitten]

The Dragon and the fish

DISCLAIMER: I have never wrote a fanfic before so if this is bad sorry. Basically I just thought this up one day and went yea why not write it. Sorry If the characterisation of Daemon is wrong I did my best. Also, I know that in the books House Tully supports the Blacks but for the sake of this fic we’re gonna say they didn’t and that instead Lord Grover Tully went with his initial thought to support the Greens. Also Evangeline Tully is not real, I made her up. I do have a part 2 to this and will post it when I finish it. Enjoy

Nobody x Nobody (this is not romantic)

It is midday in the Riverlands, the sounds of the stream bubbling fills the air along with the chirps of birds. But, there is another sound, a voice, that of a girl carrying in the wind. A distance away from the river a teenage girl girl in a blue dress is being dragged across the grass by two men in armour. Her eyes are wide with fear. She is thrown onto the grass suddenly as the sound of a horse approaching can be heard. The horse is midnight black and it stops a few feet from the girl. As the rider dismounts the two guards bow. “My Prince, the Tully girl.” His voice is strong with a hint of pride to it. The girl is internally offended at that. How is kidnapping something to be proud of? Her thought bubble is immediately burst however when she hears a confident voice laced with malice reply. “Good. Hello girl.” Panic surges through every ounce of her body as the girl looks up into the cold, unforgiving eyes of Daemon Targaryen. Her eye immediately drop down to his chest, she can not look at him. “My Prince! Please! Why are you doing this? I haven’t done anything. Please my Prince! Please let me go!” As she speaks her entire body trembles. Her eyes remained glued to his chest, she can not bring herself to meet his brutal gaze. Suddenly her head is yanked up by one of the guards, she lets out a yelp as her head snaps back. “You will look at the Prince when you speak to him!” The girl flinches as the guard shouts before nodding and slowly moving her eyes to stare at the face of the imposing figure before her. He smirks.

“I am a Targaryen. We are the last of a line of kings that stretches back to Valyria. From the burning ruins of Valyria, to the wall, the Kingsroad and the Iron Throne they stand on. When my brother died the rightful Queen Rhaenyra found herself exiled from her own kingdom. From her birthright. Thanks to people like you supporting the usurper. But that time is over. We are going to take back the seven kingdoms, and restore our bloodline to its rightful place.  The only way to do that...is by fire and blood.” His voice remains cold and harsh the entire time he speaks, never once wavering or cracking in any way. He does not smile either, he merely looks down on her with hatred in his deep purple orbs. Oh gods. As he finishes speaking the girls breathing picks up. He was going to kill her, he thought she was a traitor, all because her father made the wrong choice. “But why take me? What purpose does this serve other than causing a girl and her father immense distress. Please, I do acknowledge the true line of succession. I know that Aegon is not the true king!” He girls voice is full of fear but as she pleads with the Prince he only smirks at her waiting for her to finish before stepping closer to her. “A true Targaryen must be cruel and cold when required. Your family's loyalty is in question. The price of such doubts is blood. Yours or theirs, it matters not, so long as we send a message.” Her blood runs cold as he speaks, her fears confirmed. He was going to kill her. All hope had left her at this point but still, a tiny voice spoke inside her head convincing her to ask him, confirm her fate. She takes in a shaky breath before letting her eyes stare directly into his. Not near them, into them, bright green into dark purple. “So you’re going to kill me?” Please don’t say yes, please don’t say yes. His own orbs stare directly back at her as the question falls from her lips his face a mask of coolness, it gave nothing away.

“I don't want to. But if I must, then I must. Valar morghuls.” Her eyes widened as he spoke in the ancient tongue his words void from any emotion. Now, she was no expert in high Valyrian but, she did love to read, and throughout her youth one of her favourite books was all about the ancient language. If the phrase meant what she thought then what the Prince intended did not match up with his statement. Feeling a momentary surge of courage she decided to point it out. “But I am not a man, I am a girl!” Her words still contained the fear from before but it was now laced with desperation as well, she wanted to keep her life, she did not want to die, not yet. He looked at the girl with his piercing gaze. His eyes were like two dark pools, deep and unyielding. He showed no sign that her words had changed his mind. “Valar morghuls is high Valyrian. The phrase means 'all men must die'. But the dragon knows no gender. You will die just the same, girl.” Hope was drained from her system once more, he would not be swayed, she would die, there was no changing her fate, the Prince had a task and he intended to carry it out. Her eyes began to tear up as she continued to look at him, knowing that time was running short. “When?” It was a simple question, one that required a simple answer. Her eyes flicked down to Darksister, half expecting her answer to be a non verbal one but, as the tears fell down her face Daemon’s face lost its cold mask and for a split second his eyes flashed with pity. The girl did not see this, instead when she looks back up the mask is still there but his lips hold a faint smirk on them.

“Tell me, child. Who is the rightful heir to the throne?” His voice had an heir of mischief about it and his eyes sparkle ever so slightly. This is trick, it has to be. The girl can not come up with another explanation for his sudden question. Answer the way he wants you to, the voice of hope speaks once more, who knows, she may survive this encounter yet. Taking a deep shuddering breath the girl is able to keep her voice steady as she answers. “The Queen Rhaenyra.” The faint smirk grows wider at her answer the twinkle in his eyes brightening. He is impossible to read. Years of practice have made this man very difficult to read, even when he shows emotion you still don’t know what he is thinking. Wether you are safe. “The queen Rhaenyra... Is the true heir to the throne you are correct. But in order to sit the Iron Throne with absolute certainty... there has to be no challenge. Not my nephew Aegon...Your family. No one. You understand what I mean by that don't you?” Why is it that every time a glimmer of hope presents itself this man is able to snuff it out like it is nothing? The girl feels as if her heart has been ripped from her chest, being squeezed by the Prince in a painfully tight grip, seconds away from being crushed. Sometimes his fingers loosen and the pressure lifts hope seeping through the cracks, but he always tightens his grip again pushing any hope away, squeezing it back out. Tears continue to fall down her face, but she does not care. She recalls that one time her father was speaking about battles and he told her that men shit themselves when they die. That may be true, but know she know that women don’t, men shit themselves and women cry. 

All hope may be gone but she is desperate. Highborn or not, in her current state she is certainly not above begging. She no longer tries to hide the despair in her voice, he can hear it, it matters not, soon she will never speak again. “I do. But please I had no say in this! Why punish the child for the actions of her parent? please. Have mercy on me!” The tears that flow down in her face in a never ending stream take over he entire body and she allows herself to slump onto the grass by his feet. Steady tears turn into hysterical sobs as she lays on the floor death inches away. She feels a large hand come and rest itself in her hair. Confusion turns to pain as his hand pulls a clump of it upwards forcing her to face him once more. His face now shows a steely resolve, he will not change his mind, his face says it all. “Mercy is a sign of weakness. If we are to be kings again. If we are to be the greatest dynasty since Old Valyria itself…This cannot be done with mercy.” Her sobs grow louder as he speaks, Terror, pain, denial, anger a million emotions flow through her at once, her mind can not settle on one. “But why kill me? My father chose to betray you. I did not. You know better than anyone that you do not argue with your father. You and the Queen have many children you must know what it is like. What would you have had me do?” Her voice shows her mass hysteria, as does her face, bright red and puffy from crying, a pitiful sight wasted on uncaring eyes. Or so she thought.

He looked down at the girl with his narrow, deepset eyes for a long moment before speaking again, slowly untangling his fingers from her hair, his hand coming to cup her face instead, his eyes taking in her broken features. The tears, her expression, everything. It is almost as if he is surveying her for the first time. His next words are no longer cold, firm and calculated yes, but not cold. “Perhaps I have treated you harshly. But if I am to be King and Rhaenyra Queen I cannot afford to be weak. You'll understand that when you’re older. I cannot permit any challenges to our claim. So when you go home, tell your father that he is to support our cause to the death. No half measures. No more wavering. Do you understand?” His words shock her, the sobs stop almost instantly and turn to uneven breathing and heavy sniffles. “You… You will spare me?“ this time it is her eyes that betray nothing. Her hope has been crushed one too many times, she will not show it to him in case this is one last horrible trick. His fingers caress her cheek before he answers a faint smile ghosting over his lips. “Yes. I have seen fit to show you mercy. But if you do anything foolish or disloyal...I will not be so kind. Understand me?” His words continue on in the same tone as before, but his eyes now hold warmth to them as well. Her mask drops and her face breaks into a tear stained smile, relief coursing through her veins, flooding her entire body.

“Of course my Prince. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.” Her words are fast and filled with gratitude, her eyes shining with pure joy. She will live. He removes his hand from her face and lets his cool mask from before return to his face, he is being honest, but he is serious, he will not give second chances. “And I mean anything foolish. I am not a merciful man. You will show yourself to be the opposite of your father. Loyal. Diligent. Brave. Never question me or my motives. Understand?” She does, this is her one chance, mess this up and Darksister may yet get a taste of her blood. Her breathing has finally slowed, her tears dried up and voice evened out. Deep breaths. “I do. So I may return home?” He glanced behind her, towards the general direction of her home. He nodded. “You may. Remember what I told you, and pass it along to your father. You will do well not to disappoint me. Go now.” The faint smile returns as he speaks. It suits him she thinks, he should smile more. Her musings are cut short when an unpleasant thought comes to mind, her father is a stubborn man, will he listen to her? “What if my father won’t listen to me? What if he still tries to support the usurper? Will I still die?” Her voice is now laced with fear once more, and as soon as she speaks his smile vanishes and his face turns to stone again. For a moment he was silent. His purple eyes locked with her tear stained green ones and seemed to see right through her, a coldness in them that scared the girl, more than any of his previous cold stares, this one was on another level. A coldness that gave the impression that she was a tiny piece in a game much larger than herself. And she was right. Then he spoke, his voice cold and low, it sent chills down the girl's back. She trembled at the sound of it. Anyone who heard it would. “There is only one way to find out.”

Deciding that she would worry herself with this later she let out a breathy and nervous laugh before answering very quickly, her voice a mere squeak. “Yes my Prince!” There was one last flicker of that strange half smile, barely visible. His face became inscrutable again. He inclined his head towards her, his eyes darker than ever. Then he snapped his fingers. One of his guards stepped forward and took hold of the girl, picking her up off her floor. Daemon beckoned them to follow as he walked to his horse. Upon reaching his mount, he turned and spoke again. “Tell your father I will have my answer.” This time his voice made it clear that there was no room for argument. “Yes my Prince.” As she spoke she bowed her head in respect. He looked her up and down one last time, his face returning to a frown. Then he looked away and moved to his horse, climbing into the saddle and turning again to look at the girl.

“Make me proud, child.” He looked her deep in the eyes with those orbs of the richest purple for one last time, and then, he was gone. The guards disappeared after him, and the girl was alone, her head spinning with what had just occurred.

[pjmsneverland]

Said Dearest

Warnings: minors dni (mention of drugs, high!jk, Jiminxreader (they’re dating), taekook, fluff, drugdealer!Tae (if I missed anything let me know). Wc: 4.1k

The weather is rainy and cold. The time changes, shifting your biological clock while you drag through work, school, and your social life; too busy to even acknowledge your birthday creeping up on you. It feels like you are carrying a weight on your shoulders each morning; a guilt you couldn’t shake even if it wasn’t yours to keep. Your boyfriend is not sparing you the festivities as he’s mentioning your special day at every possible moment which was nice. The last time your birthday had been this exciting was when you were turning thirteen.

“You okay?” Jimin would ask while holding you in his arms while a movie played on the screen.

“Yeah, just tired is all.” You sigh.

He leaves it there not wanting to prod or ruin the moment of peace, memorizing his plans for the following day when he calls Jungkook while he goes over the guest list for your surprise party.

“Hello?”

“Clear your schedule, we are planning a party for Y/n.”

The younger boy looks away from his computer screen, taking the phone off of speaker to press it to his ear with a stoned face.

“Does she know?”

“Now where’s the fun in that? Are you gonna help me be a good boyfriend or not?”

Sure he knew you two went out on a date last he heard but he was not aware of how far well you two were getting along and hearing it from him causes a pang of betrayal to surface in his chest. He pushes it aside remembering that his friend is on the line waiting for an answer.

He clears his throat “Totally. What’s the plan?”

-

You trudge up the stairs exhausted from the long day at work but you keep in your mind that the weekend is here for comfort.

Your phone is squished in the pocket of your purse knowing that looking at the screen will send you into a spiral; even with your birthday near you felt not an ounce of strength in you to acknowledge it nevermind celebrate it.

Pushing the key into your lock you push the door open and shut the door before laying on the floor of your apartment feeling exhaustion take over your whole body. Letting your mind wander, you think about Jungkook and the last encounter you had with him a month ago. You imagine he’s planning a party tonight with the week end rolling in and all or maybe he’s planning on saving himself the cleanup and visiting a club to blackout in instead.

Your eyes shut as you groan at the feeling of a resurfacing headache as you attempt to coax yourself to relax and rid the thought from your psyche. Vibrations from your phone have you perking up to rummage through your bag to lazily tap the green button without looking at the name.

“Hello.”

“Hey beautiful.”

Your mood smoothes over immediately at the sound of Jimin’s voice coming through the speakers as you prop yourself up so you’re able to sound like you weren’t on the verge of passing out on your apartment floor.

“Hey.”

“Can you get pretty for me in say thirty minutes?”

Your head tilts in confusion.

“What are you planning, Park?” You stand up from your previous spot on the floor and trail over to your boudoir.

He laughs in response to your suspicious tone.

“I left you something in your closet a few days ago so put that on and I’ll be by to pick you up when you’re done. How’s that sound?”

Unable to deny the man’s charms, you agree with a slow nod as you begin to strip yourself of clothing before realizing he can’t see you.

“Yeah. See you when you get here, honey.”

It takes you half an hour to shower and slip on the dress he left for you in the closet but you figure he’ll take his sweet time coming up the elevator to come get you as you spray at your hair and apply another layer of lip gloss not before spritzing a perfume Jimin gifted you a few weeks ago. He felt like a dream or a scene out of a movie. He seemed like he really did like you aside from the parts of you that every other boy wanted to indulge in and disappear. He was one of the only men you could truly be yourself in front of without the need of trying to hide the ugly parts of yourself like how you self-isolated to punish yourself for something you did wrong in your week or in that one month of last year. It was only ever like that with Jungkook. Pausing in your action of fixing your stockings you look up into the mirror with wide eyes at the thought of him and just then the door of your apartment clicks open. Taps of Jimin’s heeled dress shoes letting his presence be known.

He stands at your bedroom door and smiles at you as you step into your heels. Eyes still on you as he remains wordless in his observing of your form.

“Is it what you imagined?”

His brow raises.

“You’re more than anything I could’ve ever imagined darling.” He steps closer to you to rest his hand on your cheek as your heart soars in your chest and you fight to act unphased. It’s not fair that you like someone this much and you haven’t worked hard enough for someone to treat you this well.

“I meant the dress sweetie.” You tease, looking up into his eyes while laughing.

To deflect from your victory he goes in for a kiss that you accept. His touches are always so sweet with no traces of malice. He made loving you look like it wasn’t hard.

“You ready?” He asks slowly when he pulls away.

“Are you gonna tell me where we’re going?”

He shakes his head mischievously before taking you by the hand and walking you out of your apartment down to the car and opening the passengers door for you. It’s silent most of the car ride but his hand that is not busy steering the wheel lays on your thigh caressing the stocking clad skin gingerly as your excitement heightens at what he has planned for the night.

After what feels like ages he turns into a parking garage and makes turns until he reaches the top floor.

“Jimin, are you secretly planning to murder me?”

He chuckles as he backs into a parking slot.

“Now I should be asking you that.” He unbuckles his seatbelt and leans in to land a quick peck on your lips, giving you butterflies as you giggle wordlessly.

“Me? I’m harmless.”

He shakes his head, reaching into his back pocket to pull out what looks to be black silk cloth.

“Turn around.”

You obey his command, turning so he can tie a firm knot as he blindfolds you.

“There.” He says in accomplishment before you hear him step out of the car and run around to your side and take your hands to help you up. He shuts the car door behind you and you feel his hands hold onto your waist gently as he instructs you to step forward.

“What if I hit into something?” You panic.

“I’ve got you baby.” Jimin says, comforting you by caressing your waist as you get more comfortable to take bigger steps.

“Almost there babe, you’re doing good.” You take a few more steps forward, heels clacking with each step and your tummy flips in anticipation at what your beautiful boyfriend has planned for you.

“Okay beautiful. Stop right here.”

You come to a halt as you feel the silk material loosen from your eyes and it drops to show beautiful fairy lights hung to lay above the table as well as all your friends that shout a “Surprise!”

“Aww no! You didn’t have to-guys!” You spot your best girl friends you haven’t seen in a while smile widely at your teary eyed reaction.

The two taller girls run towards you and coddle you in a long hug as you back away to take in the sight of them.

“You guys look gorgeous oh my god!”

The night goes beautifully as you catch up with your friends and sip on champagne. Jimin periodically chimes in and your friends congratulate you on the new found relationship.

“So do you love him or?” Your friend, Sky, whispers as your heart drops to your ass at the question.

You ponder before you answer. Jimin is really sweet to you but he’s always been a nice guy even in terms of friendship but you didn’t want to rush into saying the word just yet.

“I really like him. He’s set all this up for my birthday. You know how I am about not doing anything for my birthday.”

Your friends nod, taking in the sight of you after not seeing you for so long.

“You know after everything I’m surprised you didn’t end up with Jungkook.”

“What? Did everyone know about that except for me?”

Sky and Paige spent all of high school watching the two of you go through the awkward stage of your friendship to what it is now. The parties, the granting of a key when you landed your first apartment which made them side eye you, but you saw it as a safety measure if anything.

Your friend, Paige, rolls her eyes.

“You can be a little oblivious, hon but hey Jimin’s a cutie and if he treats you right that’s great!”

You nod with a grin, thinking of their words before you hear Sky speak.

“Speak of the devil.”

You turn to see Jungkook decked out in a gray suit as earrings decorate his ears and his newly black strands are slicked black. The wind knocks out of you at the sight of him leaning down to look at you, the starry look in his eyes never falters when he flashes a smile at you.

“Hey pretty!” He beams, throwing a wink at you before peering over at you friends who greet him with a curt handshake.

“I’m gonna steal the birthday girl for a sec.” His hand is out for you to take and you slowly let your hand fall into his cautiously. He leads you away from the crowd and gives you a smile.

“You look amazing.”

The compliment makes the alarms in your head go off but you blush at his words nonetheless.

“Thanks for coming and thank you, that's sweet.”

Silence hangs in the air for a moment and you look away from his gaze to peer over at an excited Jimin who speaks to your friends.

“I wouldn’t miss it for anything.” His hand reaches over to put a strand of hair behind your ears. His touch leaves your skin burning in his presence. What is going on with you? Reaching into his suit pocket he pulls out a pink velvety box.

“Bought you a present. Saw you eyeing it at the mall a few times.”

“Jungkook, you didn’t-”

“-but I did. Always will when it comes to you.”

Opening the box promptly he pulls out the sparkly diamond bracelet that has the lightest tinge of pink on it as you spot a piece dangling from it.

“It’s your initial. May I?” He gestures toward your wrist, asking if he could clasp it on and you let him.

Tattooed digits carefully decorating your wrist with the diamonds.

You can’t help but wrap your arms around his neck in a hug.

“Thank you so much. I didn’t think you’d show up because I thought you were mad at me.” You ramble on. He can hear that you’re on the verge of tears by your shaky voice while his hand caresses your back.

“I’m not mad, dearest and fuck me if I was. It’s your birthday and all the other shit doesn’t matter.”

He’s trying his best to be respectful as a best friend who has feelings for you but he can’t help but feel like everything he says is coated in intimacy. There’s nothing you can do to scare him away. He’s going to be here to watch all the huge things that are going to happen for you. He knows friends drift apart but he won’t let it happen with you.

“Love you.” You whisper against his ear.

Jimin deserves better than a girl who has a weird attachment towards her best friend. It isn’t fair for him to do all this for you while you’re crying in another man's arms.

“I love you too. Always.”

He’s careful in the way he holds you. He’s not a bad person. He may not be perfect but he would never disrespect you and his friend’s relationship.

“Happy birthday, Dearest.”

You finally pull away and wipe your eyes.

“I wanna go take shots. Join me?”

“Yeah, I’m right behind you.”

The timing is perfect because as you walk out you see Sky and Jimin carrying over a huge cake with candles beautifully lit upon it. They set the cake down on the table and Jimin is quick to wrap his arms around you. Kissing your cheek and shoulder sweetly before everyone gathers around to sing happy birthday to you. Your best friend feels his stomach sink at the sight of you together. He’s never seen Jimin like that before with anyone else. Jungkook tries to let the happiness for you overshadow his jealousy. He’s a good friend. His behavior towards you has been puerile and he told himself after that last kiss that he would let the thought of ever having you shrivel up and die.

“….happy birthday to you.”

You lean over to blow your candles as you clap in glee. A smile that spreads out from ear to ear graces your face as your equally beautiful boyfriend brings his lips to yours and your group of friends look at the two of you in admiration, but all Jungkook feels manifesting in his chest is envy.

-

“Don’t be a pussy, Kim.” Jungkook teases as he sits in the section of the nightclub secluded from the crowd of people on the main floor. The crystals of white piles on the table are evident as each person takes turns consuming it in the way they like.

Taehyung smirks at Jungkook’s intoxicated state. The boy didn’t know when to stop and he didn’t think he would hear from him again after the last time he’d sold to him which according to Yoongi didn’t end well but who was he to deny the extra cash?

“I’ve had enough. After this line I’m calling you an Uber.”

The younger man rolls his eyes at this before passionately snorting another line, sighing at the burn in his nostrils as he leans back on the cushion of the sectional.

“Ugh you used to be fun!” Jungkook slurs, eyes squeezed shut as he feels the high approaching.

“Your friends aren’t gonna cuss me out over you anymore. Yoongi is gonna have my fuckin head if he sees you like this.”

Taehyung’s words bring the thought of you to his mind. How happy you looked at your birthday party a week ago and how good you and Jimin looked together.

“You know yn’s with Jimin now? They look good together!”

Taehyung glares at the boy. What a trope. Jungkook not getting the girl he fawns over is quite the opposite of what he was expecting but from what he had heard and observed about you when seeing you at all the parties the boy threw it made sense. The way you kept a close eye on him each time he looked like he was indulging a little too much while you nursed the same drink all night.

Yes, Jungkook dabbled in hard drugs but Taehyung thought he knew how to control himself. This was him coping with the fact that you found someone else and left him on the sideline to watch as a friend and only that.

Taehyung excuses himself and Jungkook from the section before walking him through the club to the exit where the vehicle waits for him.

“Go home and get some rest and call me when you wake up. Keep this up and I won’t sell a single fucking gram to you.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes and opens the door and climbs into the backseat, going to close the door when Taehyung grabs it.

“I mean it.”

“I heard you bro! Calm the fuck down.”

Taehyung nods and shuts the car door firmly, bidding the driver a goodnight before watching it speed away.

-

The Uber takes Jungkook home and the first thing he wants to do when he gets home is take himself to bed but he sees your house key dangling from his key hanger and before his further judgment can take over he’s pulling his shoes back on and trailing over to yours.

The walk doesn’t take long and before Jungkook knows it he’s staring at your door.

It’s 1am and there’s a chance you’re asleep so he doesn’t knock. He simply lets himself in with his key and closes your door behind him, kicking his shoes off before footsteps make him look up to see your groggy form staring back at him.

“Oh-hey Kook.”

The air knocks out of Jungkook at the sight of you in a sports bra, sweats and your pink satin bonnet.

He clears his throat. “H-hey.”

You tilt your head at his appearance, walking closer to get a better look at him. Your hands reach over to his face feeling how warm he is to the touch and the way his nose is red and his pupils are dilated. He leans down a bit to give your shorter form an easier time examining him until your tear your hands off of him.

“..and you’re high.”

“N-no I just really wanted to see you.”

Your brow quirks up at him as you cross your arms.

“So you’re not high?”

“I am but I wanted to see you.” Jungkook giggles toward the end of his rebuttal and you scoff, walking to your kitchen to fill up your water bottle. Jungkook crosses the threshold and leans on the counter behind you.

“The full story is I was at the club with Tae where I did said drugs and then he got me an Uber to mine, then when I got there I was like ‘I miss yn!’ so I walked over here.”

“You walked? That’s not safe-what if you blacked out in a random alleyway or something?” You turn to look up at him. Water bottle long forgotten as you slam it on the counter.

“But I didn’t, baby. I’m here.” He counters with a look of satisfaction coating his features.

“I won’t lecture you any longer. I just worry is all.”

Jungkook nods, looking at you intently. It’s like you get prettier every time he sees you. You’re a little pale from the winter but your skin looks so soft and your cheeks are so round and- God damn you Jimin.

“I know and I’m sorry for making you.”

“You know this relationship is so funny because I can’t get angry at you anymore. All I can do is tell you that you are actively participating in your downfall.”

Your words cause a pit in his stomach and he knows there’s nothing he can say that will make you wrong. He isn’t being smart with the way he is choosing to handle his life. He just knows he can feel you drifting with every lecture, word, and argument.

“I don’t want to bury my best friend cuz he overdosed on fentanyl.” You say it so quietly that he nearly misses it. You can’t look at him while you say it so you choose to look down at the tiled floor.

“Why do you keep doing this?” Your voice breaks and he knows you’re about to cry.

Fuck. No. That’s not what he came here for. He thought you’d be asleep and he’d only planned to black out on the couch. He knows why he’s doing this but he can’t tell you that or lie to your face.

“Is it because of me?” You finally meet his eyes desperate for the answer.

“I don’t want to lie to you.”

“So don’t.”

“I’m just a little jealous but I’ll get over it.” He grumbles.

Jimin’s good. He’s a safe pick and you both share similar qualities while also being polar opposites. He likes parties on the weekend, you’ll tag along but on the days you can help it you’d rather stay home or drive into the city for a movie. He brings out the extrovert in you and overall makes you happier. You enjoy parties if he’s around and the movie seems to have deeper meaning when he watches with you.

“Was it the party?”

“It was.”

You feel the guilt boiling in your core.

“So what do you want me to do?”

He laughs. “I can’t dictate your life because I have a crush on you.”

You want to tell him he’s been dictating it since the day he turned to drugs and started having parties every week instead of talking it out with a professional or getting help.

“Would it be any better if I liked you back?”

He’s stunned, shaking his head to make sure he heard you correctly.

“Would you still be snorting coke at 1am if I loved you back?”

“Don’t tease me with that question.”

“I’m genuinely curious because if that’s the case consider me and Jimin done.”

“B-but that’s not fair to Jimin-”

“We broke up.”

“But you two are perfect together-” He attempts to defend.

“-and yet you’ve got a key to my apartment and you got me a crazy expensive birthday gift and you kissed me on that floor right there a month ago.”

Your finger points at the floor in your living room.

“Jimin deserves better than someone who’s obviously hung up on their best friend.” You shake your head.

“You got what you wanted. You didn’t want me with him anyway.”

“All of that is true but what does that mean for us?”

“It means I give you a chance. We give us a really good try.”

Jungkook reaches out to touch you but you pull away.

“We start when you’re sober. Goodnight, Dearest.” You land a quick kiss on his cheek before walking over to your room and leaving Jungkook to situate himself on the couch.

-

Jungkook is knocked out on his back when he wakes up to the feeling of warmth on his head and a weight on his thighs. His heavy eyelids open to the sight of you caressing his face with the pad of your thumb.

“Morning-or afternoon really.” You chuckle.

“What-” he babbles at the sight of you on top of him.

You’re frivolous with the way you let your hands linger on him as you tilt your head as you observe his groggy face.

“You okay? Feeling sick?”

“No, I'm fine. Just-” He looks down at you straddling him as a way to articulate his feelings.

“Oh right-”

You go to move but he stops you with a hand on your thigh.

“Stay.”

He sits up with a groan, resting his large hands on your waist and resting his head on the swell of your chest as your automatic response is to put your hand on his head feeling the prickles of his undercut as you play with the tendrils atop his head. You are taken back to the night you told him you liked Jimin and it was there you realized his feelings towards you. It’s not like the thought of being with Jungkook never crossed your mind. He was your first real crush but he was also everybody else’s and you didn’t want to be a part of that rat race so you did the only thing you knew how to do.

Pivot and distract yourself. Perhaps you and Jungkook weren’t all that different.

“What are you thinking about?” He breaks the silence.

“How if you ever show up at my door coked up again I’m breaking up with you.”

Laughter rings through him at your comment, hands slithering down to your ass testing the waters that is you.

“You have my word, Dearest.” He says cutely.

And it makes you smile.

[blxckdragonfly]

Daylight (Darkness Finds You Universe #11)

(Song: "Daylight" by Taylor Swift.

Warnings: Mention of Grief and Illness, Hurt/Comfort.

Pairing: Chris Motionless & Lycia Winters "Pronunciation of her name-- Lai-shuh" (played by Ana De Armas), featuring Malakai Black and Lyra Crowe Budgen (Lilith Czar-- played by Mothica)

Word Count: 6,333

Synopsis: While Chris and Lycia are doing their first photoshoot together, Lycia gets an emergency call from her brothers and has to hurry back home to Baltimore.

And we're back! I hope you enjoy this one, this is the first part of another three part piece! Co-written with @blackrose-92! x Tiger)

Spotify Playlist:

Photoshoot: September 8th, 2023

Today, Chris and I are at a secret location to do our first photoshoot together for Halloween since I’ll be tagging along with him when his band headlines “The Touring The End of The World” tour, and these photos are also going to be another confirmation that we’ve been together. Usually, I’m the one behind the camera and not in front of it, so I feel a but shy and nervous, because the last time that I’d been in any type of photo, was when my relationship with Chris was leaked to the public during Motionless In White’s headline of the Trinity of Terror Tour with Black Veil Brides and Ice Nine Kills last year. 

I can feel myself beginning to be quite uneasy as I’m getting my makeup done by Chris’s friend, Angela Undead. I can’t stop shaking and my breathing heightens. A few moments pass and I feel a hand on my lap, I open my eyes and I see Chris– who looks incredibly attractive in his all black suit and black vinyl gloves, his purple hair being the only splash of color in contrast to his suit. 

“You okay, baby?” Chris asks as I look into his calm brown eyes, I sigh and nod as my hand moves toward his. His hand curls into mine, our fingers intertwine in perfect sync. 

“Yeah, I’m okay. I’ve just never been in front of a camera before, I’m the one who’s usually behind them,” I confess as I look away from his tender gaze. Chris’s hand slips from mine and I feel it against the side of my face, his finger tracing my cheekbone. 

“Hey. Look at me,” He whispers and I turn my head to face him, I can feel the heat rising to my cheeks. “You have nothing to worry about, Lycia. You’re gorgeous and I’m right here with you. We can do this together.” 

“But, I’m afraid of how the public’s going to react to these photos when they’re out in the world.” My voice is small and quiet but Chris can still hear me. Chris leans in closer to me, his breath hot against my skin. 

My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in

Everyone looked worse in the light

There are so many lines that I've crossed unforgiven

I'll tell you the truth but never goodbye

“Fuck the public. This is about us. About you and me, Lycia. Not them,” He murmurs, his lips grazing the shell of my ear. “We’ll face the world together, no matter what.” 

My heart begins to race as I feel Chris’s hand on my waist, pulling me close to him. I can feel the strength in his arms, it makes me feel safe and protected. I pause for a moment and wrap my arms around his tattooed neck, my dark red nails running through his purple hair. 

“You always seem to never have any doubts about us,” I whisper as I look into Chris’s brown eyes. “How do you do that?” 

Chris smiles at me and runs his fingers through my caramel brown and purple hair before it moves down my neck and rests on my shoulder. 

“Because, Lycia, our love is one of a kind. It’s not something that happens every day and when it does, you hold onto it with all your might. I know what we have is special and I don’t doubt it for one second.” Chris murmurs as I feel a warmth spread throughout my body. 

I know that he’s right. We have a connection that’s deeper than anything I have ever felt before, even more so than what I felt back when I was still with my first love, Marcus before he died. I couldn’t help thinking about Marcus, I wonder what he would say about me and Chris if he were still alive. I suddenly feel guilty for betraying the love I had for him. Chris notices the change in my demeanor and pulls away slightly, searching my face for any sign of distress. 

“Lycia? Are you okay?” He asks, concern etched on his face. 

I shake my head, my eyes filling with tears. “I’m sorry, Chris. I don’t know why I thought of him.” 

Chris pulls me closer, his arms wrapping tightly around me, offering comfort. “It’s okay, Lycia. I understand. Marcus was a big part of your life and he always will be, but he’s gone now and you need to focus on us right now. The present. The future.” 

I nod, my tears dampening Chris’s black suit jacket. I sniffle and look up at him, my eyes red and puffy. 

“You’re right, I’m sorry. It’s just that sometimes, I can’t help but think that I’m betraying him by being with you.” I admit, feeling guilty once again. Chris’s expression softens and he wipes my tears away with his vinyl gloved thumb. 

“Honey, you’re not betraying him. What we have now is completely separate from what you had with him. You’re allowed to move forward and find love again,” Chris says, his eyes boring into mine. I nod, my breathing starting to even out. “And besides, if Marcus were here, he would want you to be happy. He would want you to find someone who loves you just as much as he did.” 

“You’re right,” I say, my voice steady. “I’m not going to let my past hold me back from being happy with you. I love you, Chris. I want to take these photos with you and show the world we’re together.” 

Chris smiles and leans down to kiss my temple. “That’s my girl.” He says, his voice laced with pride. “Let's go take some damn good photos and show everyone what they’ve been missing.” 

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

I've been sleepin' so long in a twenty-year dark night

And now I see daylight, I only see daylight

“And I can make your photoshoot just as special,” Chris and I turn our heads after hearing the familiar Dutch accent of our friend, Malakai Black, who walks on set with Lyra by his side. My eyes widen in surprise at hearing this. “I’ve taken plenty of photos of Lyra for BlxckMass, my clothing line when we were first starting out.” 

Excitement and gratitude fills my whole being as I look at Malakai and at Lyra, who nods in agreement with him. 

“Are you serious?” I ask, my eyes shining with anticipation as Malakai nods. 

“Of course, it would be my pleasure,” Malakai replies with a smile, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I beam with excitement, feeling happy to be surrounded by such a supportive group of friends. 

“Thank you so much, Malakai. You have no idea how much this means to me,” I reply, feeling tears of joy prickle in the corners of my eyes. Malakai gives me a warm hug before stepping back and getting to work. I feel Chris’s hand slip into mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. 

“You ready, babe?” He asks me with a smile. I nod, feeling a sense of calmness wash over me. I know I can do this, with Chris and my friends by my side. 

“Yeah, let’s do this.” Chris’s smile widens as he places a soft kiss on the back of my hand. 

“Okay. I’ll see you on set,” Chris murmurs as he places a soft kiss on my lips as a grin crosses my face as he, Malakai and Lyra leave so I can finish getting ready. 

Angela finishes up my makeup, which is a smokey and vampy look– black eyeshadow and burgundy lips. I change into my dress, which is the “Anaya” dress from Fashion Nova– the dress is made of black faux leather with cut-outs on the side and showing off my fox and deer antler tattoos on my sides and showing off my phoenix tattoo on my hip. 

I complete the outfit with a pair of black fishnet stockings and my black faux leather heeled boots from Lamoda. I have my hair curled and I adjust my golden wolf necklace on my neck. I walk out of the dressing room, my heels clicking on the floor. 

I walk on set to see Chris, who’s sitting on the black and gray gothic couch that we’ll be using for the shoot. His jaw drops to the floor when he sees me, and I can see that he’s trying to hold himself back because he’s turned on by me. He continues to stare at me until Lyra snaps her fingers in his face to get his attention. 

“Hey, save it for your Werewolf performance, dude.” Lyra mutters and Malakai snickers softly as Chris pinches the bridge of his nose, being reminded of how he would thrust his hips near his mic stand when he’d be singing Werewolf on stage. 

"Why are you talking about that performance again?” I ask as I glance over at Lyra, Chris meets my eyes and shrugs his shoulders. 

“You look stunning in that dress, honey,” Chris murmurs, his voice husky with desire. My eyes widen as I realize what he means and I facepalm. I hear Malakai and Lyra laugh in the background. 

“Please tell me that your pants are still dry,” I mutter as Lyra leans in and her hand covers my ear. 

“They almost weren’t,” Lyra whispers as Malakai realizes what Lyra told me and he bursts out laughing. 

“Can we please get this fucking shoot over with?” Chris grumbles as he glares daggers at Lyra and Malakai nods in agreement. 

“Sure, man. Alright, you two. Let’s get started,” Malakai told us as he instructed us to pose. Chris pulls me into his lap, my chest against his back as he nuzzles his face into my hair. I can’t help but feel a little giddy at the thought of being so close to the man I love. My favorite pose is when I lean back to look at him and Chris moves his face close to mine, our noses barely touching as I breathe him in– cologne, coffee and pumpkin spice filling my nose. 

I close my eyes as I feel his warm breath on my cheek, my heart thumping loudly in my chest. The way he looks at me makes me feel like I’m the only woman in the world that matters to him. I feel Chris’s hands slide down my arms, as he pulls me closer– our lips just inches apart. 

But before our lips could meet, Malakai clears his throat, causing Chris and I to jump slightly apart in embarassment. He captures the perfect shot, our love and chemistry evident in the way we look at each other. 

“Okay, that’s a wrap,” Malakai says, smiling at the two of us. “You guys were amazing.” 

“Thanks, man,” Chris says, grinning from ear to ear. “Can’t wait to see the finished product.” 

I look at Chris, feeling grateful and happy. I feel a sense of contentment in my heart and know that, with Chris by my side, I could face anything that comes my way. I lean in and kiss him, my lips soft and supple against his. As we pull away, I see the love and adoration on his face and we hug each other tightly, feeling the warmth and love only we can give each other. 

“I love you,” Chris whispers softly, his hand on the back of my head as he strokes my hair. 

“I love you too,” I reply, feeling tears of happiness roll down my cheeks. Suddenly, as our lips are about to meet again, my phone starts ringing. I sigh, pull away from Chris and get off the couch. Lyra hands me my phone. 

“Hello?” I speak and I hear a small pause on the other line as I stand, crossing one leg over the other. 

“Hey, sis,” It’s my brother, Nicholas. Nicholas has been trying to call me a few times while Chris and I’ve been at our photoshoot. Our conversation switches from English to Portuguese quickly as he tells me that Adrian is in the hospital and isn’t doing well and Chris has a look of worry on his face as I pace back and forth on set. 

I end the call ten minutes later and I start to cry, I bury my face in my hands. Chris stands up then and he walks over to me. 

“Honey? Is everything okay?” He asks, I look up at him with tears streaming down my face. 

“That was my brother, Nicholas,” I say. “Him and my middle brother, Colin, just called to tell me that my little brother, Adrian, isn’t doing well.” 

Luck of the draw only draws the unlucky

And so I became the butt of the joke

Chris’s eyes widen as he remembers when I told him how close I am with my three brothers, including Adrian, who had found me after I had overdosed on heroin and had gotten me the medical attention I needed when I had lost Marcus. He takes my hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

“Is he okay? What happened?” Chris asks, concern etches on his face. I shake my head, tears still streaming down my face. 

“I don’t know yet. They said he’s in the hospital and it doesn’t look good. I have to fly back home to Baltimore and see him.” I say, my voice is shaking with emotion. Chris wraps his strong arms around me, holding me close as I cry into his chest. 

“I’m coming with you,” He says firmly, his voice filling up with determination. I look up at him and I’m touched by his offer. 

“You don’t have to,” I say with a shaky voice. “I don’t want to burden you with my family drama.” 

“Hey. Stop it,” Chris murmurs sternly, wiping away my tears with his thumb. “You are not a burden to me, Lycia Rose and you never will be. I love you and I’m here for you, no matter what.” 

I look up at Chris and I know deep down that I love him more than anything and the fact that he’s willing to be here for me during my family’s crisis is all I need to know. 

“Thank you,” I whisper, my voice is full of emotion. “I love you so much.” 

Chris smiles down at me, his brown eyes filled with love and tenderness. “I love you too, Lycia. Let’s go see your brother.” 

Without another word, we grab our things and head out of the studio, hand in hand. As we walked, I couldn’t help but feel grateful for Chris and the love and support he always gives me. I know that no matter what, we would face it together. 

Baltimore/Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport: Baltimore, Maryland– September 9th, 2023. 

The journey back home to Baltimore was exhausting so I wear a simple outfit of a black bomber jacket, a red baby tee from Nasty Gal that says “She Devil” on it, a pair of ripped black skinny jeans and my Vans, filled with silent moments that were cut only by the sound of me sniffling every now and then. 

Chris, despite being an anxious mess when he goes on flights, holds my hand and rubs his thumb over the back of my knuckles, his eyes never straying from my face. He knows he has to be strong for me, be the rock I can lean on when things get tough. He knows that the next few days are going to be difficult, but he knows that he has to be there for me. 

When we arrive in Baltimore, my brothers are waiting for me at the airport. Nicholas, my older brother who has my brown hair and green eyes and a half sleeve of traditional tattoos on his left arm, wore a white button-down shirt and a pair of gray jeans and converse on his feet. My middle brother, Colin, has his black hair up in a bun, hazel eyes bright and wears a Scream shirt from Saints of The Undead that has Ghostface on the front of it, a pair of skinny jeans and boots. 

They rush to me as soon as they see me with Chris, hugging me tightly and telling me how much they love me as Chris steps back to let me have my moment with my brothers but stays close in case I need him. I then turn to Chris and I wave him over toward me and my brothers, Chris walks up to me and he takes my hand in his. 

“Nicholas, Colin. This is my boyfriend, Chris. Chris, these are my brothers.” I say. Chris shakes hands with Nicholas and Colin, his face solemn and serious. He can see that my brothers are also worried about Adrian’s condition. 

“Thank you for coming with Lycia,” Nicholas says, his voice laced with gratitude. “We appreciate it.” 

“Of course,” Chris replies. “I’m here for her.” 

Colin put his hand on my shoulder, looking at her with concern and love. “Let’s go to the hospital, sis. We need to see Adrian.” 

I nod as I wipe away tears from my eyes as I walk alongside my brothers toward the exit, Colin takes one look back at Chris as he walks next to me and says to me softly: “Your boyfriend looks so familiar. What does he do professionally?” 

“My boyfriend’s the lead singer of Motionless In White,” I reply as Colin’s eyes widen in recognition. 

“Wait, Chris Motionless? THE Chris Motionless?!” Colin whispers as I chuckle lightly at his reaction. 

“Yes, that Chris Motionless,” I tell him with a smile on my face. 

“Wow,” Colin says, impressed. “I had no idea you were dating such a famous musician.” 

I blush, feeling a bit uncomfortable with the attention. “He’s just Chris to me,” I say softly, feeling Chris’s hand squeeze mine in reassurance as we head for the hospital. 

I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked

Clearin' the air, I breathed in the smoke

We reach the hospital, University of Maryland Medical Center and my heart is racing. I can’t bear the thought of losing my baby brother, I already have lost my first love and the grief nearly killed me in the past. I’m thankful that Chris is here with me, holding my hand tightly, giving me the strength I need to face anything that comes my way. 

We enter the hospital room and find Adrian hooked up to multiple machines, my heart aches at the sight of seeing my little brother like this. I rush to his side, tears stream down my face as I hold his hand tightly. Chris stands behind me, a hand on my back as he offers me some silent support. 

The hours ticked by as my family and I wait for updates on Adrian’s condition. Chris stays by my side the whole time, never leaving me alone. He knows how difficult it is for me to watch my brother struggle like this, and he’s determined to stay there no matter what. 

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, the doctor comes in to give us all an update. He explains that Adrian has contracted some strain of pneumonia after being infected with COVID and is in critical condition but the hospital staff are doing their best to keep him alive. The news hit me hard and I burst into tears again. Chris wraps his arms around me and holds me tightly as I cry into his chest. 

It was a sleepless night for me and my family. We all have barely slept, all of us taking turns by Adrian’s side, watching him breathe through the machines. I sigh and wipe away my tears as I glance into the window of Adrian’s room. Nicholas walks up to me and gives me a side hug, I lay my head on his shoulder as I listen to the beeps of the machines in Adrian’s room. 

“So, how’s Chris treating you?” Nicholas asks as I pull away from the hug. “You know, since Marcus died?” 

“He’s wonderful,” I explain. “He’s been my rock through all of this, I have never had someone love me the way that he does, he always makes me laugh and he surprises me when I don’t expect him to.” 

“Like right now?” Nicholas and I turn to see Chris walking towards me with a pumpkin spice latte and food for my brothers from Starbucks in his hand. He kisses me on the cheek as he hands me my coffee and food. “And something to brighten your day.” 

Chris pulls out a single Queen of The Night tulip from behind his back, I feel tears spring into my eyes at the sight of my favorite dark purple flower in his hand. 

“Chris, you didn’t have to do this,” I say softly. 

“I know, honey, but I wanted to,” Chris replies, smiling at me. “I’d do anything to make you feel even a little bit better.” 

I lean in to kiss Chris, grateful for his unwavering love and support. As I pull away, Chris takes my hand in his. “Let’s go for a walk. Some fresh air will do you some good.” 

I nod and follow Chris out of the hospital, taking my coffee and food with me as we walk in silence for a while, enjoying the warmth of the sun on our skin and the cool breeze blowing through our hair. 

As we walk, I can’t help but still feel guilty. Guilty over any type of happiness while Adrian’s fighting for his life in that hospital bed. Chris senses my distress as he squeezes my hand gently. 

“What’s the matter, my sweet Lycia?” He asks. “Talk to me.” 

“It’s just not fair,” My voice shakes with emotion as I speak. “Why did this have to happen to Adrian? He didn’t deserve to be going through this.” 

Chris pulls me into his arms, holding me tightly as I cry into his chest. His fingers run through my caramel brown and purple hair, his heart aching as he listens to my sobs. 

“Honey, look at me,” Chris put both of his tattooed hands on my face, lifting it up so our eyes met, yellow-green hazel and brown. “I know it’s not fair, but we can’t change what happened. All we can do now is be there for him and hope for the best.” 

“I can’t lose him, Chris,” I sniffle. “I’ve already lost Marcus and that damn near killed me, I don’t know what I’d do if I lost my baby brother too.” 

Chris wipes away my tears and pulls me into another embrace, his chin resting on the top of my head. 

“You won’t lose him, Lycia,” He whispers. “Adrian is strong, just like you are. He’ll pull through this, you have to trust me. I know you’re worried and I know you’re scared. But you have me, baby. You will always have me.” 

Maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down

Maybe I've stormed out of every single room in this town

Threw out our cloaks and our daggers because it's morning now

It's brighter now, now

I feel a flicker of warmth ignite in my chest as Chris speaks, his words sinking in and calming my nerves. I look up at him, my yellow-green hazel eyes meeting his calm brown ones and I see the sincerity and love behind them. I know he’s right, Adrian is strong and he will pull through this. 

I pull away from Chris slightly and smile weakly at him. “Thank you, Christopher Cerulli. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

Chris places a gentle kiss on my forehead and wraps an arm around me. “You won’t ever have to find out, Lycia. I’ll always be here for you, through thick and thin.” 

We continue on our walk, taking peaceful steps through the grassy park adjacent to the hospital. I inhale the scent of my dark purple tulip and feel the comfort of Chris’s touch as we walk. The sun’s setting, painting the sky with hues of pink and purple as we sit on a bench. 

I feel a wave of peace wash over me as I look over at my Chris Motionless, whose purple hair matches the purple of the sunset sky, his jawline and neck tattoo and his brown eyes which hold so much love for me, I feel my heart flutter in my chest. 

As we sat there, I couldn’t help but feel grateful for Chris’s love. I know it’s rare to find someone who loves you unconditionally, accepts and supports you through everything and cherishes every moment with you. I found that in Chris and I’m grateful for it every day. 

But as the sun sets and the sky darkens, my thoughts turn back to Adrian and his condition. My heart aches with worry and fear. He notices my distress and pulls me closer, his arm protectively around my shoulders. 

“Hey, now.” He says softly, cupping my chin and tilting my face so I look at him. “Don’t worry so much, my love. Everything’s going to be okay.” 

I nod but my fears continue to plague my mind. I lean my head against Chris’s broad chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart and drawing comfort from it. In this moment, I know I’m safe with him and he would do anything to keep it that way. 

As we sit there, a cool breeze picks up and sends a shiver through my body and I left my bomber jacket inside the hospital with Nicholas and Adrian. Chris notices and immediately stands up, taking off his leather jacket. Without a single word, he drapes it over my shoulders, his fingers lingering on my skin for a moment. 

I stare up at Chris, struck by the tenderness of his gesture. I could feel his warmth through the jacket as well as smell his cologne too. I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck, smiling softly at him as I shake my head. 

“What?” Chris asks as he looks at me and tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. 

“I just love being in love with you, Christopher Cerulli,” I whisper. Chris grins at my words, feeling a rush of affection towards me. He leans in and kisses me deeply, his lips moving with mine with a passion that makes my heart race. 

“I love being in love with you too, Lycia,” Chris murmurs against my lips when we finally pull away. “You mean everything to me.” 

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

(I can never look away)

I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

(Things will never be the same)

My smile widens as I lean in to kiss him again, our lips meet in perfect sync. As we kiss, I hear my phone go off, I break our kiss and look down at my phone to see a text message from our friend, Malakai Black. 

Malakai: Hey Lycia. I have a few photos from the shoot I took of you and Chris the other day. Sending them to you now. 

I feel a sudden excitement surge through me, eager to see the photos. I show the message to Chris and we both look through the photos, admiring the stunning shots Malakai had captured. 

“You look so beautiful,” Chris says, his eyes fixed on the photo of us sitting on the black and gray gothic couch, him sitting up against the wall with me in his arms. 

“You’re not too bad looking yourself, Motionless,” I tease, a playful gleam in my eyes. Chris chuckles and pulls me close in his arms, kissing my forehead sweetly. 

“Let’s go check on your little brother,” He says, his tone more serious. I nod and stand up, Chris following suit with his arm still wrapped around me. As we walk back through the entryway of the hospital and go up to Adrian’s room, I pause when I see my parents, Daniel and Sophia, sitting with Nicholas and Colin. 

“Honey? What’s the matter?” Chris asks. I look over at Chris, my eyes fill with angry tears as I grit my teeth, remembering the years of verbal abuse my parents put me through after I was sexually assaulted at fourteen. I go to confront them but Nicholas steps in front of me. 

“Mom, Dad, I know you’re here to see Adrian, but if you say anything negative towards our sister, you both can leave right now.” Nicholas says. 

I give my brother a small hug before turning to my parents. “You don’t get to act like everything is normal. I’m glad you’re here for Adrian but don’t even think of minimizing my feelings. I know what you’ve said to me in the past and I’ll never forget it.” 

With that, I turn away so they couldn’t see the tears falling down my face. Chris put his arm around me and pull me close to him. 

“You don’t have to talk to them if you don’t want to,” He whispers before leading me out of the room. 

Once we’re in the hallway, I cry into his shirt as Chris holds me close, not saying a word. He just wants to make sure that I’m okay. When the tears stop, Chris tightens his arms around me, not releasing me until I’m ready to talk. When I step back, he looks into my eyes and wipes away my tears. 

“I’m so sorry, baby,” He says. “I know your parents hurt you and that just can’t be erased. But I’m here for you and will do anything I can to help you heal.” 

I give him a warm smile and hug him again, my arms wrapping around his neck and my fingers stroking his purple hair. When our eyes meet again, my heart melts. 

I've been sleepin' so long in a twenty-year dark night

(Now I'm wide awake)

And now I see daylight (Daylight), I only see daylight (Daylight)

“Thank you, Chris.” I say softly, leaning in for a kiss. “Thank you for being here for me, holding me when I need you to. I love you.” 

Chris smiles and kisses me back before taking my hand in his and leading me back to go check on Adrian. Through the rest of the visit, I’m grateful to have Chris by my side, understanding my pain and comforting me when it got to be too much. 

The next day, after being in the hospital with my brothers and worrying so much about Adrian’s condition, Chris decides to take me out on a date in Baltimore. I’d been woken up by feeling Chris kissing all over my skin. 

“Good morning, beautiful,” He says as he looks into my eyes, his bare tattooed upper body on display. I smile and hug him tightly, thankful for his undying support. I know I can rely on him when things get rough and he understands me like no one else. I know I’m lucky to have him in my life. 

“Thank you for everything you’ve done for me and continue to do for me,” I say as I kiss him on the lips sweetly. Chris blushes and smiles at my words. 

“You don’t have to thank me,” He murmurs. “I just want to make sure you’re happy and you’re able to enjoy life even during tough times. Now, let’s get dressed and go have some fun, okay?” 

I nod and get out of bed and change into my outfit– an oversized Scooby Doo graphic tee from Nasty Gal, a pair of black wet look leggings from Black Milk Clothing as well as one of Chris’s faux leather jackets, I’m now ready to revisit my old stomping grounds in Baltimore with Chris by my side. We start our day with Chris surprising me by taking me to go get some lovely vegan breakfast, as well as taking me back to my favorite place and escape– Edgar Allan Poe’s Home & Museum. 

As we walk through the rooms of Poe’s house, I can’t help but feel a sense of nostalgia– remembering when I used to come here to escape when I was growing up, how it became one of the first places I took photos of when I started out in the photography field. Now, with Chris by my side, the experience’s much sweeter. I take Chris’s hand in mine and led him into one of the smaller rooms with a nook. 

“Can we sit here for a moment?” I ask as I point to the cushioned nook. Chris nods and sits down, pulling me into his lap. 

“You know, this place has always given me a sense of relief,” I say as I lean my head on his shoulder. “I used to come here to escape everything that was happening in my life. This place is actually one of the first places that I took photographs of when I was first starting out as a photographer.” 

(Now I'm wide awake)

And now I see daylight (Daylight), I only see daylight (Daylight)

I only see daylight, daylight, daylight, daylight

I only see daylight, daylight, daylight, daylight

Chris rests his chin on my shoulder as he listens to me, he knows how much this place means to me and he’s glad he could be here with me. 

“I remember you telling me on our first date,” He says softly. “You’ve come so far since then. You’re an amazing photographer, Lycia.” 

I smile as I feel a rush of pride wash over me as I look into his loving brown eyes, my hand reaching up to caress his tattooed jawline. 

“Thanks, Chris. You always know how to make me feel better,” I say. Chris leans in to kiss me deeply, he loves the way my lips feel against his and how my body seems to melt in his arms. He would do anything for me. 

After our visit to Poe’s house and seeing his gravesite, Chris and I decide to take a boat ride out on the water. It’s a beautiful day, despite it being a bit chilly out and the water is calm and sparkling. As we board the boat, hand in hand, Chris can’t help but look over at me– I’m a sight to behold, my caramel brown and purple hair waving in the breeze, my yellow-green hazel eyes gleaming with excitement. 

Chris knows that he’s lucky to have me in his life and kept the promise to make sure that I’m happy every day that we’re together. The boat ride is a peaceful one, the two of us sitting close by as we watch the water go by. I lean my head on Chris’s chest and I let out a contented sigh. 

“This place is so beautiful,” I say. “I’m glad we decided to come out here, I’ve missed it so much.” 

Chris smiles and wraps his arm around me, pulling me closer to him. 

“Not as beautiful as you are,” He says. “I just want to make you happy, Lycia and to clear your mind today. You mean so much to me.” 

I smile and look at Chris, my eyes piercing his soul as my fingers caress his face. 

“You make me happy every day, Chris. There’s no one else I’d rather be than with you.” I lean in and capture his lips with mine in a passionate kiss, both of us savoring the moment. Chris holds me close, never letting go of me. 

We pull away from the kiss, where Chris proceeds to place small butterfly kisses on my face, making me start to giggle. He wanted to hear me laugh, he hadn’t heard it since we’d arrived in Baltimore because I’ve been so worried about Adrian being in the hospital. 

As our laughter died down and we sit down in comfortable silence, I begin to fiddle with the bottom of my shirt, pulling at the fabric nervously. Chris can tell that something is on my mind. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” Chris asks, gently. I sigh and meet his calm brown eyes. 

“I’m just worried about Adrian,” I say, my voice filled with sadness. “I feel like I should be there with him.” 

Chris reaches over and takes my hand in his own, giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

“We’ll go and see him after this,” Chris murmurs. “But for now, let’s just enjoy this moment together.” 

I nod, a small smile crossing my face. We continue our boat ride, the sun beginning to set over the horizon. It’s getting colder but Chris didn’t want to let go of my hand. He knows that there are tough times ahead and he also knows that he and I are in it together, no matter what. 

And I can still see it all (In my mind)

All of you, all of me (Intertwined)

I once believed love would be (Black and white)

But it's golden (Golden)

As the boat ride comes to an end, Chris leans in to whisper in my ear: “I love you more than anything in this world.” 

I turn to him and with a smile on my face, whispered back: “I love you more than anything in this world too.” 

We share another sweet kiss together before we head back to the hospital together to see Adrian and as long as I have Chris with me– I can face this and get through it. 

And I can still see it all (In my head)

Back and forth from New York (Sneakin' in your bed)

I once believed love would be (Burnin' red)

But it's golden

Like daylight, like daylight

Like daylight, daylight…..

[reineleduc]

Hi, I’m going to probably make you cry with this Harry Potter head cannon.

So to everyone that’s read the Harry Potter books we all know that Fred and George often speak as one person, not quite “finishing sentences” but like similar. I mean sometimes they would but most of the time they’d just both be saying the same sentence at the same time together and then if one of them missed a word it didn’t matter cause the other was saying the same thing. But after Fred dies in the battle of Hogwarts i don’t think George would have ever recovered from that.

Sometimes he’d be talking and take a long pause and then pick up again but without saying part of the sentence because he was used to Fred talking with him.

I also think George would be somewhat relived to be missing an ear because when he’d see his reflection with a hat on or his hair covering it then he’d cry because he thought he saw Fred.

One day George would be hanging out with Ron,Harry,hermione,Ginny and maybe some others.they’d come across a boggort and George’s boggort would be a mirror. Ron would make a dumb joke along the lines of: “blimy mate, you’re so ugly that the boggort only needs to show you yourself!” But then George would start crying. Not a ugly cry just silent tears he probably didn’t even notice. And then Ron would relise his mistake immediately. George’s worst fear was his reflection because it reminded him of his dead twin brother. Ron would go on to do something that shocked everyone else a year would escape his eyes as-well run up to his brother and give him a hug. Barely ubove a whisper they’d hear him say, “i miss him too, so much” and George would reply “every time I look in the mirror I wish I could take his place but I know even if I could he wouldn’t let me.”

To anyone who’s seen the cursed child it’s revealed that Ron runs the joke shop ‘Weasley’s wizard weases’ and I think this is because George couldn’t bear the thought of working there without Fred it didn’t seem fair to him that he could keep having fun with the joke shop without his other half. I also sadly think that George overall became a more serious person.

George was offered a role as beater on the chuddly cannons but he turned down that offer because he refused to be a beater without Fred being the other one.

Shortly after meeting his newest niece ‘lily Potter jr’ George was in a apperation accident and was severely splinched. The healers at saint munggos could have healed him but he refused. And when the rest of the Weasley s had gathered at his bed side one of his final things he said was; “ I just want to see him again I’m so sorry mum, I love you so much but I can’t keep living in a world without him.” And by him George means Fred and everyone knows that’s who he’s talking about. I then think he would say a little something to all his siblings +parents although I don’t think Charlie would be there. “Send Charlie some sweets from me, tell bill he really lucked out with fleur and he should be grateful she can’t see,” Ron would snicker at that and Molly would try not to scold him “perce, you know he forgave you right? You let him have a smile on his face for his last moments thank you.” Percy would turn away to hide the tears running down his face. “Ron, I don’t know how you got hermione to marry you but I’d like to think it was that book we gave you. And one more thing stop being a git and give yourself more credit.” Then he’d turn to Ginny “hey gin, I’m proud of you I’m proud of my amazing little sister and I’m so excited to tell Fred how amazing you’ve turned out.” Ginny would smile at him sweetly then cry into Harry’s shoulder “Harry,hermione, take care of my little siblings please?” Harry and hermione would promise. Hermione: of course, harry: I was already planning on it. Then George would look up at his dad who was trying so hard not to break down “hey dad I had something I was going to give you for Christmas but…” he’d hold out his hand to reveal a small blue toy car. The car would spring to life and fly up to spin around arther Weasley’s head. And inside there would be three little passengers: Fred and George in the front and mr Weasley in the back screaming at the twins. Suddenly George would start to cough struggling to breath mrs Weasley would rush to his side telling him to lie down. Now lying on his back George would faintly whisper out “mum?” His eyes would be glazed over molly would say “ I’m here Georgie right here.” George would lift his hand slightly and Molly would take it. George would say “He’s not George I am, honestly women you call yourself our mother” Molly would let out a small laugh and smile sadly, then George would say “mum? We’re did you go? It’s dark and I feel kinda cold, do you think I’ll die soon?” Molly would sob brushing her fingers through his hair “Georgie, I’m right baby I’m not going anywhere I love you.” George smiles but a year would run down his face “mum promise me you won’t cry once I’m gone” the old women would kiss her sons forehead and say “I promise” and I think George’s final words would be “ to a well organized mind, death, is but the next big adventure.” Then his grip on his moms hand would loosing, his breathing coming to an end, his eyes staring empty at the sky and most importantly the biggest smile still etched on his face. Quietly Harry would breath out “dumbledore”

And that is all for how I’ll break your heart today.

[samethyst01]

Through The Window

Chapter One

‘None shall find joy in this false grain of hope, and to concede upon which their mind may fill with chaos.’

That was the final line of my father’s book. As you might be able to tell, he was a rather eccentric man, one who found fanciful intrigue in the works of Lovecraft and Poe rather than sports stars and craft beers. He was a private, distant man. Time spent in his office was rather more akin to all of his time, hunched over his desk and either typing or scribbling away some mad ramblings.

I might be exaggerating, but he really was a very strange man. Whenever we spoke, which wasn’t often, he never knew exactly how to relate to me. It was almost as if he never wanted me, like my existence was a complete inconvenience to him. He was never abusive or toxic, but that doesn’t mean he loved me. He merely understood that I was his son, and I lived in his house, and he was one half of the union that sired me.

He would often catch me looking through his things, especially the papers in his office. He never scolded me for it, simply told me in his hushed voice that it was not for me to see yet. In one of the only moments of intimacy between us that I can remember, he sat me on his knee and told me his plan. I was far too young to understand what he meant in his words – I was only about five or six – but I was just happy to hear him finally speak to me.

What I remember of this conversation was the word ‘small’. He told me how small we were. Not just us as in himself and my mother and me, but the whole human race. He told me there was something out there that was far bigger than us, far more important, and that we were all just waiting for it to come down from space. He looked me in the eyes and told me one day, one beautiful day, all of humanity would become one with this vast something and be happy forever.

As I grew older, I wondered if maybe he was part of some obscure offshoot of Christianity, and this ‘beautiful expanse’ was just a word for God or Heaven. I was disabused of this notion on the day I finally read his stories, which also happened to be the day he died. I learned very suddenly that my father was not a man of God, nor of Satan or any conventional deity.

But before I speak of that, I must tell you how I came to see him dead.

If you’re the type of person to fall deep into intensity in your life, you might have something akin to a ‘happy place’. Whatever it is, whoever you are, it’s either a physical location or some abstract feeling or concept that fills you with comfort. It is, for some, a kind of immortal liminal space that they may regress into and find deep reassurance in. This is especially true if one has been traumatised.

My happy place was a seaside town which I visited with my parents once every three years. It’s still there, in a quiet corner of the world, tiny and unassuming and home to a great many secrets. We first travelled there when I was a baby, far too young to remember the details. As my mother would later tell me, it was the town my father lived in when he was younger. He was born and raised in that place, and only left in order to pursue a career in theatre, which he promptly abandoned after some unknown event.

It wasn’t until I was six that I have a clear enough memory of that town. It was truly miniscule – a cluster of buildings nestled against the sea with a quayside that led upwards along a raised path towards the beach – and the waters beyond. I remember being fixated on the town when we first arrived, obsessed with every small store and business, from the arcades to the strange shop that sold dreamcatchers and totems, and from there to the acrid smell of vinegar from the fish and chip place that wafted all the way down towards the caravan park at the end of the path, set in a forested area that overlooked the sea.

On the colder days, my mother and I would visit the Highstreet shops, from the ones that sold wetsuits and coats to the other that offered hot sauce and quiches, among other things. It was like a dream to my younger self, this place so isolated from the rest of the world and so content in its own sense of progress and serenity. I wanted to be like it. I tasted every morsel on offer, from crab meat to haddock to cod to battered sausage, and I fell in love.

We drove a few miles down and came upon a restaurant that overlooked the swampy marshes, and we ate lunch in the quiet sunshine. I tasted lobster for the first time, and squid, and I saw my father smile. The expression was so rare and unexpected that it felt like an event, a moment I would savour in my mind for years. When he smiled, my mother returned it twice as widely and I laughed with a kind of innocent joy I’m sure I shall never recreate.

I spent time swimming in the sea on the hottest days, when the tide was as far in as it could go and the water stretched on into the horizon. That beach was massive, so wide that you’d get lost if you walked for only a few minutes. I saw seals flop onto the sand and bob up and down in the waters, and once even saw a galloping horse ride in from somewhere far away, majestic and stark black against the pale shine of the sand.

I wondered what lay out there in the ocean, far beyond my reach. I remember seeing the tiny speck of wind turbines in the distance and wondering if they were people who were stuck out there and could never come back to land. Once, and only once, I saw the shadow of something moving slowly beneath the surface, gliding away from the shore and deeper into the depths. I hoped it was a dinosaur.

One night, my parents and I visited the local cinema to watch a film. It was Toy Story, my favourite at the time, and when I learned it was the movie we’d be watching I was overjoyed. In a rare act of kindness, my father bought me the biggest bucket of popcorn they had on offer. My mother gave him a look that bordered between disapproval and joy, one she could not properly express. My father said nothing and simply winked at me.

When the film was over, I remember an older couple approaching us. They must’ve been in their late fifties, maybe early sixties, and they regarded my father with familiarity. My mother was uncomfortable but polite, and the couple spoke with a great degree of intensity. They looked from my father to me and I remember their smiles were almost frightening in their enthusiasm. I felt very disquieted by them.

That night, as a storm lashed at our cottage – we couldn’t stay in my father’s old home, as it had long since been destroyed – I felt an overwhelming urge to go to the beach. I waited for my parents to fall asleep before I dressed quickly and braved the weather, stumbling down the quayside towards the path. It was so dark that I could barely see a matter of feet ahead of me, the rain and the night combining into a complete, incomprehensible abyss.

I was able to walk the path instinctually. I still don’t know how or why I was compelled, but I was far too young and naïve to ignore the feeling. So I walked, and I walked until I arrived at the beach. The water was further out and the tide had ebbed, leaving me with much ground to cover before I could reach the sea itself. A distant, quiet whisper filled my ears and I strode onwards, ignoring the rain pelting my coat and the mushy sand filling my boots.

And then, like it could’ve been simply a dream, a bolt of lightning arced across the sky and illuminated a figure far out on the sand.

My eyes widened at the sight and dread filled my stomach. I felt control of my body returning, and I suddenly wanted no part of this midnight stroll. I wanted to go home, to run back to the path and pretend I was having a nightmare, but something about the figure intrigued me. Their dark form, set in shadow against the storm, swelled this horrible curiosity inside me that I couldn’t understand. I thought I was going to die.

Before it was too late, I felt something grab me from behind. It was my mother, my father at her side. They hugged me tightly and my mother screamed with fright over the sound of the storm, tears streaking down her face. I began to cry at the sheer ferocity of her emotion, but only because I was scared she was angry with me. I couldn’t begin to understand how worried she must’ve been. She probably thought I was dead.

I was too upset to articulate what had happened, and sensing this, my mother wrapped me up in her coat, kissed my forehead and began leading me away from the beach. My father’s gaze was fixed on the horizon, and I wondered if perhaps he’d seen the figure too. My mother gently took his hand and her touch snapped him out of his daze. We returned home and over a hot cup of cocoa, I pondered what had happened to me. Fruitless guessing was what it ended up being, in the end.

We returned to the town every three years, with almost the exact same routine each time. The only difference as the years went by was me, as I became older and more independent. I would wander off a lot more, exploring the hidden corners of the town more frequently. Our cottage had a basement that I managed to find the keys to, and I hoped it contained something dark or scandalous. It was just old swimming gear and firewood. There was, however, a hidden door within it that had no key.

That couple always managed to find us, too. I found out that they were Howard and Diane Lorely, residents of the town who knew my father through his father. I never spoke much to them but I also never shook the feeling of unease when I did. Their faces always had this uncanny stretch to them, like if they kept at it, one day they’d freeze up and never be able to move the muscles again. They always addressed me as ‘the special one’, a label I came to find patronising the older I got. Maybe it was just teenage arrogance, or maybe there was truly something insidious about it.

The last time we visited the town, I was eighteen. I was the typical angsty teenage boy, but despite my bloated sense of self-importance I still regarded the place as one I held dear. At this point in time, my father had become so distant that even my mother had stopped trying to engage him. She was fatigued with him and his coldness, and I could tell that their relationship was on the brink of collapse. As for the man himself, he only spoke a few scant words to me across the entirety of the visit, and only once looked me in the eyes.

The Loreleys were still as intrusive and unrelenting as ever, and upon our last meet, their demeanour caused my mother to snap and demand they stay away from us. I have never seen such malice and hatred since, when I saw it in their eyes in that moment. They looked at my father with palpable disappointment, and in his expression I saw a deep sadness and regret. It disgusted me to think he held these crones’ opinions higher than the welfare of his family, and my already existing distaste for him only grew.

On the last night of our trip, I decided to venture out onto the beach one final time. I knew I’d find nothing, but a tiny part of my still inquisitive mind hoped I might get some closure. In the dead of night, when I was sure I would be walking alone, I headed down to the sand and stood before the still-ebbing tide. Moonlight reflected off the waves and the gentle sound of sloshing water filled me with calm. I thought, in that moment, that I was truly at peace.

Someone stepped onto the sand beside me and let out a long, heavy sigh. It was my father. I looked away from him, having nothing to say. I didn’t need to speak, however, as it seemed he had come there to set things right with me.

He told me he was sorry for the way he treated me. He told me he never wanted children, that his relationship with my mother was always intended to be a brief one, fit for naught but sex and drug use. He told me there was much about himself I would never know, and it was a gift he had given me; the gift of ignorance. He turned to me, and I felt compelled to do the same, and for the first time in quite literally years, his gaze met mine. His hooded eyes locked upon my own and he whispered a phrase I had never heard before or since.

“I love you, son.”

To this day, I still have no idea if he was telling the truth, but in that one moment, I didn’t care. That was all I had ever wanted from him, all my private desires and holiday wishes, all of it had been for that moment. I just wanted him to acknowledge me, and he did. I didn’t say anything, and without another word, he placed a hand on my shoulder, smiled softly, and walked away. It was like a dream.

I stayed on the beach for a little while longer, hoping to catch a glimpse of something drifting in the water or standing ahead of me on the beach. I didn’t, however, and I resigned myself to returning to our cottage. We left the town the day after and my father and I never spoke of it. I doubt my mother even knew we had exchanged such an intimate moment.

Exactly one year later, on the eve of my father’s forty-sixth birthday, I resolved to understand him. While he and my mother were out at an art gallery – a vain attempt on their part to rekindle their love – I stole the key to his private office and looked through his writings. The contents of his personal laptop were mainly dark poetry, which I rather enjoyed, but the physical notebooks contained that which I now believe have led me to where I am today.

I dare not describe them in detail, not yet, but the concepts and confessions they presented left me haunted. I was suddenly and totally learning just what kind of a man my father was, and the truth was not merciful or in any way kind. The very moment I heard my father’s return, I tidied his office in a panic and pretended I never even knew the location of its key. My mother was fooled – she always did see the best in me – but he knew as soon as he looked at me.

Just twelve hours later, I would watch my father’s heartbeat slow and disappear on the ECG as he slipped into death. It was deemed a sudden and tragic heart attack. The horror of its timing was not lost on me, nor my mother when I told her what I’d done. Something had killed my father, and it had done so to express a point. Nothing he had ever created was meant for my eyes, nor for the eyes of any but those it deemed worthy of its secrets.

I know that must sound like madness, but there are things I have learned that will not leave me. Things not just about my father, but about my mother and that town and worst of all – about myself. This journal or table of confessions or whatever it is serves as my way of keeping a kind of routine in my life. Things are getting hard to process. I apologise for the way in which I write – my language, syntax and tone – but it’s a style I rather think I’ve adopted from my father. He was a flowery writer.

As for what I will tell you of: the cottage my family and I stayed in has just recently come up on the market. I’ve reserved it for two weeks. Whatever I find in that place, I’ll be sure to record it here. If you doubt my sanity at any point, I congratulate you. That is the sign of a sound and steady mind.

I don’t think I can be sure of my own mind anymore. I’m not sure I can trust it.

[drizzyk]

“It’s been so long, but it feels like yesterday we were…(What were we, again? Lovers? Friends? It feels like both and neither at the same time).

The more I cling to whatever we had, the more it hurts. And the only way to get past this feeling is to tell myself you’re not coming back.

It’s a bitter pill I swallow every morning, tagging it along with a hope that it’ll taste less bitter with each passing day, but it’s also the only way to finally close the door on what we had and allow myself to move forward.

It’s a torture to hold onto hope that we’ll find our way back in the end, and to wait for you to change your mind because obviously, it won’t happen. And I have to accept it, even if it breaks me. It doesn’t mean I don’t wonder what could have been. It just means I have to accept the reality of the situation, and our story has a different ending that I had hoped for.

For denial only prolongs the agony.

Even though letting go is a process that is as painful as it is necessary, accepting the finality and the fact that our story has ended is the only way to begin healing.

Even so, there are times, I just wanna talk for a minute.

I yearn for the comfort of your voice, even if it’s just a reminder of what I’ve lost. Is it wrong to crave one last conversation, just to tie a neat bow on this messy ending?

But I can’t bring myself to call. Because I know, deep down, that whatever we have is gone.

My heart knows the call won’t surely connect.

You’ve moved on, built walls around yourself, and in those walls, there’s no space for me anymore, for the memories, for something we once had.

It wouldn’t bring us back, even if I were to reach out. You’ve made a new life yourself, and I have no right to mess with that. The warmth of your presence, the one I crave so desperately, would be only momentary– a small flame that just makes the empty space feel even colder.

But like a moth drawn to a flame, I fear the very thing that could destroy me further–the warmth of reaching out again.

The urge to shatter the silence, to hear your voice, even though I know the fire will only burn me again, is an unending struggle. Even though you’re not the same as before, thinking about you still pulls me in. It’s scary to think about the possibility of running towards you again, begging for a love that has long since died.

And now, the pain feels this unbearable, what will it be like years down the line? Will I be an old one with wrinkles and gray hair, still haunted by the ghost of you?

I fear so.

I fear I will be haunted by you forever.

I fear I will not forgive you for the promises you didn’t fulfill, the dreams you achieved with someone else, and the love you couldn’t keep.

I feel my heart will still remember how I fiercely loved you, and how deeply broken I was when you left.

Most of all, I feel my final breath will be a sign of your name.

Will the scars become all I have left of you, a reminder of how deeply I loved and shattered?

I hope that’s not the case.

I hope that as time passes, the intensity of what I felt when I loved you, and what I feel now that you’re gone, will turn into a bittersweet memory.

But for now, the fear is crushing me. The fear that even when my hair turns gray and my skin bears the marks of time, a part of me will forever yearn for you, forever bear the scars of your love.

Then again, I hope not.

I truly, desperately hope not.”

— 9-23: nights when it hurts the most.

[ramblingdisaster73]

Thoughts watching 4x01 – 4x04 altogether. This does contain spoilers – I am acknowledging all 4 episodes in my thoughts/reflections over the arcs that are in play – not just the information as we get it.

Thoughts while watching 4x01 - these are getting too long to post it all at once.

Kinda weird that they blame TK for wanting the “dream” venue – when in reality – Carlos was the one holding it all up – NOT TK.

The line “You didn’t tell TK the truth” is kinda misleading – since they never act like it was a lie in the show – so weird – Why do this storyline as a secret marriage – but nothing about how it was a lie? -This isn’t exactly a good thing – seeing as how TK gets blamed for every little thing – including in this arc. – still baffles me.

I don’t need an apology on screen – but to completely ignore this being a lie isn’t beneficial to the character – it could have been a great way to have him confront the issues that have brought him to this point – but to ignore it – It makes it look like they only added that part of the storyline as a way to set up TK to take the blame – because that is the overall theme of the show at this point.

Still think that TK handles this whole ‘fiancé is legally married to his best friend – that I’ve never met – or heard about in the last couple of years (and when he did it was at work, because of Michelle) with so much more grace than any real actual human would.

My issue is not at all with the marriage itself – it is with the fact it was a lie (for years) – but the show acts like it was just fine and dandy – no big deal. He is legally married – that is a big deal – especially when they have this ridiculously short time span to get married at the “dream” venue – ALL to further set it up so that they can blame TK for the Iris/Carlos kidnappings – or at least make TK think it was his fault (along with a scary amount of the fandom – still – even after the whole thing is done).

I don’t understand why they love to make Owen look so incredibly naïve all the time – with every new person he meets – it is not an endearing quality – it just makes him looks continually stupid & easily led.

The acting this season is fucking amazing – starting from the beginning – just so great, so much effort & talent being displayed this season.

I do like that TK didn’t completely blow up – but this was almost a non-reaction – which was probably the most ooc thing to me about all 4 episodes

At least the 1st episode had more than one rescue

I feel like we will be seeing the wedding of Brianna & Caleb – and that Caleb will inevitably get stuck in something.

Also – I don’t care if you almost died – I am not kissing you when you are covered in literal shit & other nasty things from the porta potty – sorry, but fuck that.

I still thinks it’s hilarious when Rev. Parks just pushes his daughter out of the ride – Like I know he had to, but it was still hilarious.

Working 4 seasons in rides at Cedar Point was enough to make it so that I never rode a carnival ride again – the lack of safety shit is insane – I don’t even like the carnival type rides at Cedar point – particularly Giant Wheel (Ferris wheel).

I love how Nancy just calls everyone out on their love lives – “He is a repeat customer”

That moment of panic when Carlos hears that Michelle is basically out of communication for three months – lovely

I feel like a lot of the Carlos/Iris conversation is super superficial – also the “currently not in a coma” line is just – weird? Like – why is that the best thing he could say about his fiancé?

I don’t think I will ever understand the logic behind making meeting & approving of TK a condition of signing the papers – or that Carlos went from “You’re joking” to ok, no problem. More areas that were just used to add drama to set up a way to blame TK.

I do know that I keep saying that they just keep setting up ways to blame TK – but they are – Literally it is brought up in 4x03 & 4x04 – with no acknowledgement of WHY TK talked to her in the first place.

I hate it when I am reminded that Owen is a history nerd like me – but, I guess if I have to have something in common with him – I am glad it is that.

Judd – the voice of reason when it comes to Owen – if only he would actually listen to the man.

Owen needs a fucking keeper – unfortunately for Judd & Mateo – they are the only ones qualified for the job

The long church scene really isn’t my thing – glad it was at the end – it would have taken me completely out of the episode. I get that there are people that loved it, if not for Tommy & Grace’s reactions – I would just totally skip to the next ep. - this is totally a personal thing & and I can appreciate that there were people who loved it or were able to relate to it - that just isn't me.

[boyfhee]

🗗 ONCE MORE | s. jaeyun

G. fluff ( 0.82k )

W. none

AN. repost yawl

sim jake is anything, but a good basketball player. he thinks he is, has a little too much confidence for someone who has never touched a basketball.

“jake, did you forget you’re an idol?” you shout from a couple meters behind him as he shoots his tenth— or maybe fifteenth shot, missing it again. “geez, you’re just embarrassing yourself.”

and his logic is a little broken. thinks he can play basketball because he’s good at football, all because they’re both played with balls— well, he used to think he can play. as of now, a little part of him dies with every shot he misses, hearing you chuckle behind him and passing teasing remarks.

in the meantime, you’re busy covering your face in the scorching sun, watching him from the far back. “jake, let’s go home!” you shout again, catching up to him, to which he replies something along the lines of ‘one last shot!’— which you don’t believe at all. he has been saying that for the past twenty minutes.

“i said, one last shot,” he pauses, looking at your eyes squinting in the sun. he doesn’t know if he should do it or not, but he does end up standing in front of you, closer than ever, blocking the sun rays that landed on your face. “you’re staring.”

you swear to god, you’ve never heard him whispering in such a hot way before. it’s crazy, you think. to find jake, your best friend, attractive in anyway other than platonic, you wonder if it’s wrong, and whether those butterflies in your stomach are supposed to go wild at the sight of him. because you’re pretty sure you’ve been thinking about him more than before. your eyes linger over his face a little longer than they used to. often, you find yourself smiling over just the thought of him— and in the end, it all ends up becoming a big question mark : is there any possibility that he feels the same?

“hey,” he snaps in fingers, pulling you out of your thoughts. “are you okay?” the next second, you pull back as soon as he lifts his hand to check your temperature.

you step back, overlooking his perplexed face. “i’m fine.”

jake stares at your for a second, or maybe five, even more if you’re not wrong. and you’re just hoping he doesn’t find you crazy, or any of the other adjectives a person would avoid being associated with, by their crush. “whatever,”

“can we go home?” you ask again, clearly not because it’s hot but because you’re not sure if you’ll be able to do this anymore.

“why?” he looks up the net, projecting his angle of trajectory or whatever they taught you in physics a day before. “it’s not that hot, y/n.”

it is, you want to say. you want to tell him that it’s hot, and really hard for you to watch him taking shots at the game while his hair is almost drenched in sweat, the swamp white t-shirt not at all helping with his toned muscles as it sticks to his body. you’re afraid that if he doesn’t stop, you’ll end up kissing him right there.

it hits you how sunghoon stated that you’re down bad for his best friend, at which you threw a water bottle at him that gave him a minor bruise for week, and no matter how much you denied it that time, he is still right.

“jake,” you call his name, this time putting a much needed emphasis to get his attention off the game. and when he doesn’t look, you finally sigh in defeat. “y'know what, i’m going home. got geography homework to finish.”

his eyes met yours. “one more shot, please?

"gosh jake—” you step closer to him. “aren’t you tired? we both know you’re not getting anywhere with this.”

“what if i get this one in?”

“i don’t know, switch to basketball, maybe?” you pause. “listen, i—”

“a date.” he cuts you off, aiming his shot, while you’re making sure you heard him right. “go on a date with me if i get this one in,”

you’re not really sure if you process what happens next, considering you’re lost in your own world, heart going off crazily at his words, and before you could respond, the sound of ball hitting the ground reaches your ears, eyes wide open at the way he jumped as landed it in like a professional.

and with that, you try to calm your heart as he steps closer, and closer, and closer until the only thing separating the two of you is the ball that he held in his hands. “so?”

“sure,” you’re quick to reply, cheeks heating up wondering if he finds you weird for replying without hesitation. but all the worries fade away as his lips meet yours, moving in synchrony as he pulls you closer by your waist, a kiss promising he’ll never let you go.