#a problem for tomorrow’s you

[ivyontheholodeck]

So I watched the dnd movie,

[kaeyacollection]

Who's ready for my Master Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss Crepus Theory!!

I originally posted this over at Hoyolab and people there seemed to really like my favorite joke theory that Crepus just tries to gaslight the whole of Mondstadt right after obtaining Kaeya

Majority of this will be the same but with little tweaks for the wonderful tumblr audience

This joke stems from Kaeya's introduction:

and the use of the word "rumored"

Cause it's not like it said beyond Teyvat or the seven nations just Mondstadt

And I mean like c'mon how many families are living off the grid in Mondstadt

(Actually... Don't answer that I forgot Glory's boyfriend is just

Out there in the bush with Razor...)

Initially I had the idea of Crepus walking around the markets one day carrying Kaeya with Diluc beside him running into Varka who asks:

"Who's the boy?"

"You mean my son?"

"Not Diluc the boy you're carrying"

"I have two sons? You know this??"

But then the Caribert quest came out mentioning Kaeya ran away from home near immediately and was dragged home by Crepus just as fast and it became even funnier

Cause imagine you're by the docks one day and richest man in town gets off the boat with no cargo but instead a tiny child you may not have seen before that Crepus seems to be very cross with at the moment and threatening to turn him into a leash kid if he runs off again

In a small town that loves gossip do you know how fast that information is spreading? Cause I do and Varka's knocking on Crepus's door 30 minutes later like:

"Is this what we're doing? We're just taking kids now?"

Both paths lead to Varka asking where Kaeya comes from and getting hit with a

"I think you're a bit too old to still be confused about the birds and the bees Varka"

Varka getting frustrated to the point he just starts demanding Kaeya tell him what's up

Love to see him following in his fathers footsteps of stressing Varka the fuck out

And upon hearing how his birth father left for juice and didn't return Varka went

"Good! That was ALL I needed to know!!"

Follow ups on if his father intended to abandon him or got lost in the storm and needed a search party?

Don't care!! You weren't kidnapped!!

Welcome to the knights! 🤝

Which bringing it back to it only being a rumor

In a town of alcoholics, who's gonna call out the one guy with the winery?

Here's some add ons that got sparked from the comment section 😘

Bonus panels would have included Varka showing up with Rosaria one day mimicking Crepus about "wHaT you ForGot I haD a Kid" sparking a trend within the community of just adopting random children to the point posters are made saying "In Barbatos name: See a child Take a child"

Alice seeing it and pulling a "when in rome" tucking both Albedo and Diluc(who is yelling he is an adult) under her arms and telling Klee if she ever sees someone in need of a mom let her know she'll send over the paperwork right away

And then the last bonus: Venti wakes up, walks in through the gate while playing a tune, and stops when he sees the poster, not sure if he needs to start yet another revolution, or if this one is fine actually

I imagine the posters had to be taken down because visitors were losing their kids left and right and the solution of parents pinning a note saying "not dead & still want custody" to their kids shirt didn't catch on but the saying still lives strong in the hearts of Mondstadt's citizens I mean look Bennett and his 27 dads Mondstadt may have a lot of orphans but the demand is even higher

Comment on original post:

"I have a headcanon where Kaeya fooled first Crepus, then the rest of Mondstadt but.this is too funny!! I want to see this happening!"

Which prompted one of my new favorite lines at the end:

"Wait by fool Crepus first do you mean like Crepus finding him out in the storm bringing him inside to ask him where he lives and Kaeya's just

"? I live here? You adopted me? Are you feeling okay?"

Cause I'm absolutely cry laughing over this that's so good but that also means when Kaeya runs away Crepus is just

"hey no no l'm not misplacing you a second time come home" "

[b4kuch1n]

simulated earth (it does not matter)

transcript

[satans-knitwear]

Front and back ✨

Treat me ~ Tip Me ~ More of me

[slonechnik]

oh but what do you see in harry why do you like him so much whats so good about him he stinks hes an addict hes done fucked up shit hes not even cute how can you find anything attractive in him how do you find anything good like AAAAAAAA

ITS ABOUT CHOICE! THERES SO MANY BAD OPTIONS TO CHOSE FROM BUT THERE IS STILL AN OPPORTUNITY TO DO SOMETHING INCREDIBLY KIND AS HARRY

YOU CAN BE AN ULTRALIBERAL YOU CAN BE A MORALIST A FASCIST EVEN BUT YOU CAN ALSO CONSCIOUSLY CHOSE NOT TO PURSUE ANY OF THESE ROUTES

ITS ABOUT HAVING CAPACITY TO DO GOOD IN A WORLD THAT ACTIVELY DISCOURAGES YOU FROM IT IN A SYSTEM THAT EVEN PUNISHES YOU FOR IT

ITS ABOUT CAPACITY FOR CHANGE ITS ABOUT THE BEAUTY OF HUMAN RESILIENCE

and honestly so what if hes an addict! im surrounded by addicts! theres an alcoholic living next door theres acoholics at a family function theres a bunch sitting at a bench near the church or at the park theres an addict i love theres an addict i just met or some that i just heard of and some are kind some are not some are trying to get help some arent some stopped using and some havent and they all deserve at least the basic modicum of respect and kindness and aid harry might be fictional but all his troubles and ailments are not theyre real things that happen to real people! and i do empathize with that! sometimes i even relate! and it does make me love him as a character very much!

and frankly i dont care if hes conventionally attractive im tired of conventionally attractive im tired of seeing the same cardboard cutout of a pretty face and perfect abs okay! i find the receding hairline delightful! i love a belly! thick arms are wonderful! i dont care that his ass is flaccid thats where all our asses head towards and theres beauty in it! and in the flamboyant mismatched clothing and weird hairstyles and questionable facial hair! and idc abt the bloating or the redness i have a red face too! perpetually! i think its cute! and its also a testament to the resilience of human body and it is inherently beautiful to me!

and he stinks bc hes on a bender and forgot everything and doesnt even know what money is give him time honestly you can work up to a good hygiene and a good routine

okay im done goodbye

[scandiacamoons]

Thank you for s2 of TIGER & BUNNY

[kabutoden]

NEED more Aphids content it's amazing

bitches be fucking DRAWING

[maxsix]

[salty-stories]

Chapter One* is Here!

“It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy;—it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.” - Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility

Learn more about the Dreadsomes and their dastardly schemes, spend an afternoon picnicking in the park, and finally have an honest conversation with an almost/maybe-more-than friend;)

Current Stats: 57,597 words, 204 passages, 293 links

Previous Stats: 37,240 words, 150 passages, 240 links

*This update includes a part of chapter one; old saves will break

What’s in the New Update:

Over 20k words of new narrative

New UI -- now with Mobile support!

Other New Features: dark/light mode, font style and size control

Updated itch.io store page

My Kofi - If you like what you see and want to support the game and me, it’s greatly appreciated.

Play LaF Here<3

other links: info post | ro posts | portraits | playlists

[stayfrostyordont]

I'm 23. Am i at the club? No. I'm home by 10pm with a glass of wine reading naruto fanfiction

[thankstothe]

He's so fucked

[bubacorn]

Mr. Token the First is starting to take shape on my jacket. He needs a little more work and the ornament pattern was a journey to paint, but I'm pretty satisfied with how it turned out. It's my first time using acrylic paint and I'm ✨excited✨ (and glad that I chose this instead of embroidering him. that would have taken a LONG time)

[ace-geographer]

More Willow characters as text posts!!!

Is anyone surprised?

Not in the slightest!

Part 4/?

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

could i offer you an L in these trying times?

[catnip-n-catboys]

I think telling people who'd jerk off to all my trauma how bad my mom used to beat me would probably fix me