#a second poetry collection!!!!!!! very very very exciting!!!!!!!!!!!

[always-coffee]

In the interest of full disclosure...

The past couple of weeks have held some incredible joys. I feel beyond lucky. I signed with Eric Smith, and we're gonna shop a poetry collection. (We've got plans!)

I have a new poem out at Uncanny magazine that I really love. It's a love letter to the fantasy genre and more than that, too. I'm so proud of it.

I put a poetry critique up as a reward to help Small Wonders fund their second year, and someone bought it on the second day. (Was I secretly worried no one would bid on it? Yes.)

And I sold a new poem to The Deadlands, which I'm so excited about.

These are joys. And I am holding tightly to them. To the feeling of accomplishment and pride. But amid all that, there's been a hard personal thing I've been grappling with for weeks. (I'm fine! No one is sick/dying, etc. And if you're reading this, no, it's not about you.)

I don't always talk about the bad things (very rarely publicly), but they're still there. My heart's been heavy about it.

So, this is just a reminder that life has its ups and downs. Nothing is perfect, even if it may look that way from the outside. We're human, all of us messy and flawed. Our hearts are soft things, but always stronger than we think.

Always infinitely capable of making more space, too, for more people and more love and more adventures. So, remember that, if you're having a wobbly moment. No feeling is final, kittens.

[blingblong55]

Healing -Vladimir Makarov

A/N: this is not me telling you how reader looks^

Based on a request:

i love love LOVE the great war. i’m foaming at the mouth for a part 2 BUT can you maybe do something with vlad and his love taking a bath while he reads her poetry or something along the lines. again love your work you truly are amazing 🌷

---- F!Reader, fluff/romance, wife!reader, husband!Makarov, poetry read, pregnant!reader ----

It's been a long day, Vladimir and you haven't seen each other since you left bed. And now, as you walk inside your home, he greets you with a warm meal. "Ah, the girl I have been waiting for." He walks to you, wrapping you in his hold. "What's all this about?" you ask curiously. His hand on your belly, "I think my sweet wife deserves a treat, after all, you did some hard work today." He teases. "Shopping is a sport," you kiss his cheek and he guides you to the warm kitchen. For months since he found out he would become a father, he gave you a credit card, 'spend it on you and our little one.' he said and every day, he sends you out with at least two of his men to buy at least ten things.

He wanted this all to be a thank you, for turning his life around and giving him a new purpose and as you both eat a meal he so carefully cooked with love, he finds himself admiring you. You look up, insecure for some reason until he smiles. "Did you know you are the kind of woman men write poems about?" He continues eating and you feel yourself blushing and a rush of happiness. One thing about your husband is that he knows what to say and how to make you feel, especially, now that you carry your first child.

You look at him, "What have you so….happy today?" He shrugs, "I have many reasons to be happy. I have you, my lovely wife, today all went well, we have a son arriving in a few months and did I mention I have a lovely, beautiful, small and incredibly amazing wife?" You smile and look away. "I mean it, love. I seriously thank you for being part of my life so please just accept all my love because trust me, pretty girl, no one else can get this."

After that much-needed meal, he offers a bath. And as he warms the water for you both, he watches mesmerised as you undress in front of him. Your beautiful body is all for his gaze to admire. For some reason, Vladimir couldn't help but feel a gush of emotions, all good ones of course. The way the room lit up, showcasing all your beautiful features and there was him, watching a goddess undress. It was like a schoolboy, the feeling he had, blushing and looking away from how excited you made him. To others, it's nothing to see your beloved undress anymore but to him, this was a privilege.

They always portray men like him as heartless men with no soul behind their evil loving gaze but if you look closely, there it is, the warm fire that still shines through. "Get in the tub, my love," his voice was always so soft with you. It was comedic how it changed when he spoke to those who aren't you. He was always so cold to others but when he turned to you, gave you one glance or one word, his voice was pure and soft. His hand holding yours as you get in. Hold it until you sit down in the tub. The second he let go, as he walked to the counter of the bathroom, his hand flexed. He was anxious in many ways and for good reason since you had changed the man he was before.

In his hands was the old book of poems he collected of his favourite poets or wrote himself. The book was old, but the words inside were worth more than anything in the world. As he sat down, he could feel the warmth of your back to his chest. You laid against him, finding comfort in his embrace and in some romantic way, this was professing love with unspoken words. His free hand playing with your hair as he holds the book of poems. "Let's see my love, what poem shall I read you today?"

You point towards one. "First Love by John Clare," the title wrote. "Very well, my love." he kisses your head and begins. "I ne’er was struck before that hour With love so sudden and so sweet, Her face it bloomed like a sweet flower And stole my heart away complete. My face turned pale as deadly pale, My legs refused to walk away, And when she looked, what could I ail? My life and all seemed turned to clay.

And then my blood rushed to my face And took my eyesight quite away, The trees and bushes round the place Seemed midnight at noonday. I could not see a single thing, Words from my eyes did start— They spoke as chords do from the string, And blood burnt round my heart.

Are flowers the winter’s choice? Is love’s bed always snow? She seemed to hear my silent voice, Not love's appeals to know. I never saw so sweet a face As that I stood before. My heart has left its dwelling-place And can return no more."

His voice throughout the poem so steady, and clean and expresses the same emotion the poem itself meant to convey. He places the book on the small shelf by the tub, his arms wrapping you in a loving embrace. "Did you like it?" Vladimir's head resting on your shoulder as his hands caress your belly. "Mhm…I loved this one." your voice was soft as you began to relax with him. "Good, my love," he whispers before kissing your shoulder, one of his hands so delicately lifting your hair as the other writes on your back.

"I- L-O-V-E- Y-O-U" his fingertips spell out. You try and figure out what the message was but before you begin to think, you feel his soft and warm lips kiss the back of your neck. To him, this was the most beautiful thing lovers could do that also meant intimacy. Sitting in a tub, looking out a window that brings light to the bathroom, reading poetry and then doing something like this, kissing your neck with nothing but love, rubbing the same belly that carries his child. And then you got it, "I love you too, Vlad," you lean back, your head turning and your lips meeting his.

It was as if no other worry could bother either of you. Being here, that is what counts and in the darkest corner of his heart, he feels all those old wounds and worries heal. This is real, this moment in time, that is what feels so unreal to those who can't have this privilege but to both of you, this is real, it's love to its simplicity.

Tags:

@goldenmclaren @liyanahelena @selarus @kielsegur @mseccentricks @johfaam0 @moonsua1 @rvivienner @frazie99 @viomast @vampsquerade @saoirse06 @alxexhearts @baldwinhearts @strangepuppynightmare

[lavendertales]

dinner party || Steven Grant x f!reader

summary: after attending the same book club for weeks, you and Steven run into each other at a dinner party and all of your curiosity and tension finally clash together.

word count: 3.8k

A/N: first fic of the year yaay😌 felt like writing something lighthearted so no warnings besides tension, a hot makeout session & Steven being a sweet literature nerd. I'm actually having a very hard time getting into writing & posting lately but I'm working through it. anyway, feedback is always very much appreciated ❤️

You weren't planning on showing up to this dinner, but according to your friends, "it’ll do you good" to socialize and get out more. While they may have been right about joining the book club to begin with, you don’t want to reveal the real reason why you're attending this event because they’re gonna be all over you, asking incessant questions and badgering you all enthusiastically and frankly, you need some time to process what you're feeling.

What are you feeling exactly?

You're excited about the possibility of seeing Steven again tonight. He’s the big reason why you're going to your book club’s owner’s house for this dinner party in the first place. You can’t help but be attracted to him; that much is clear, blatantly obvious. You are definitely attracted to him. He’s so damn intelligent and curious about things and open-minded and sweet… oh lord, he is so intoxicatingly sweet. And so shy! Steven seemed like the kind of man to wear his heart on his sleeve and that is like a breath of fresh air to you.

And when he mentioned the dinner party happening tonight… you figured it was the perfect excuse to go. It’s not a sin to want to see someone you're attracted to, right?

And it’s been such a long time since you’ve felt this attracted to someone.

Okay, so bottom line is, you're here tonight to show support for the book club, to have some wine and maybe talk to Steven.

You definitely want to talk to Steven. Or at least see him.

He’s got such a sense of humor too. The kind where he doesn't necessarily intend to joke but it comes out funny anyway and it makes you giggle involuntarily. He can make you laugh by saying dry and bad jokes, and when he talks about poetry and interprets it, about history, the way his eyes flicker when he talks about literature in general...

Yeah, one might say you are dangerously attracted to him.

Maybe tonight is a mistake. Maybe you shouldn’t be around him and wine. The combination oozes trouble, and you are not a troublemaker. You are certainly not a reckless person when you drink. You're fun and lighthearted and honest, a little too giggly sometimes, but never reckless. You don't plan on binge drinking, so you should be alright.

Unless your nerves get the best of you and you remain tongue-tied around the sweetness that is Steven Grant.

By the time you soothe you nerves, you are on your second glass of wine, politely engaging with the guests, with Miranda—bless her for starting this book club in the first place—and then you decide to indulge into some appetizers and look around her library. Man, she’s got a huge collection! She has a library in the living room and, from what Miranda herself says, three smaller ones in the three bedrooms.

She says it’s okay to take a look throughout the house—or should you call it a mansion because damn!—and so you look in the first bedroom. You are more interested in the library. The book collection is so damn impressive. She even has first editions of books that would be considered extinct nowadays and you are in absolute awe.

“Oh, hi.”

You turn around so violently you nearly pull a muscle in your neck and spill your drink. There’s Steven, holding his own glass of wine in one of the hands, a boyish grin on his face. You instantly feel your cheeks burn at the sight of him: he’s wearing black suit pants, a turtleneck sweater with the sleeves rolled up and his hair is so curly and luscious it almost makes you sigh.

“Hi,” you finally reply with a flustered smile. “Sorry, I didn’t realize anybody was gonna sneak off to look at books.”

“That’s my idea of a party to be honest.”

You both chuckle, and you can’t take your eyes off him. There’s simply something magnetizing about his presence, about the way he makes you feel just by being around you and that’s dangerous. This has the potential to be a fatal attraction and it’s scaring for all the reasons that it's exciting.

Steven approaches you, although visibly hesitant himself. You clear your throat in an attempt to diffuse your own tension. “But it is a great dinner party though,” you say, avoiding his gaze. “Everyone’s so nice.”

“They are, yeah.”

“The music’s nice too. The food is—“

“Nice too?”

You break into nervous laughter. “I’m babbling. I’m sorry. I tend to do that when I’m nervous.”

“That’s alright. It’s—quite endearing, really.”

Your eyes shoot up at him. Your cheeks burn by this point, and you're fairly certain he can see how red they are, too.

“But why are you nervous?” Steven asks and his voice is so sweet and filled with care that it's impossible to not melt.

“Um… this is not a conversation for a second glass of wine.”

“For a third glass maybe?”

Your eyes widen some more and you find yourself absolutely flabbergasted at the notion that this sweet, intelligent and introverted guy is being flirty right now.

He’s flirting with me.

He’s actually flirting with me.

“Maybe,” you decide to tease against your better judgment. “But I wouldn’t want to ruin my image by binge drinking tonight.”

“I was thinking about getting a third glass myself, so I doubt you’d ruin anything.”

It’s tempting. Too tempting.

You shouldn’t.

But he’s so close to you and he looks and smells so good it impairs your judgment. There is no judgment to be done though. You are feeling needier and more impatient than you have in a long time, and you can barely keep it together.

“If you’re having one, then fine,” you reluctantly agree. “But three is where I have to draw the line.”

Steven giggles. The sound is so youthful and pleasant it’s almost like it tickles your skin.

There’s a moment of hesitation and silence between the two of you as you both acknowledge the fact that you should probably head back downstairs, but you remain locked in some sort of trance looking at the books on the shelves, still nursing on your second glasses of wine and stealing glances at each other. The tension is so thick that you're starting to wonder whether a knife would be able to cut through it.

“Can I confess something to you?” you foolishly ask.

Steven offers a polite smile and a nod right next to you and you feel your heart racing.

“I wasn’t totally sure if I wanted to come tonight,” you muster up the courage to say.

“After what I can assume are a lot of dinner parties over the years, this one probably seems a bit dull.”

“No, it’s—“

“Nice?”

You both giggle and exchange a glare that’s filled with yearning. Oh god, the yearning is consuming, devouring from inside out, clawing with unbearable hunger.

“Yeah,” you laugh. “But I’d agree with you in the slightest. It’s just an ordinary dinner party, nothing fancy. And I am all for that. But... I’m glad you’re here tonight.”

Silence. You gulp, afraid to find his eyes this time around.

“I really like—“

No. Stop before you say something you’ll regret and scare him off.

“I really like talking to you,” you smile at him, and you are so relieved to see Steven smile as well. Watching him be so flustered is an absolute delight. “So you’re pretty much the big reason as to why I decided to come tonight. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy the other members of the book club, but it’s just—“

“I was looking forward to seeing you tonight too.”

That shuts you up real quick. Your pulse has skyrocketed, and all you can do now is gaze practically shamelessly at this beautiful man, now in front of you. Your knees weaken, your yearning suppresses all other sentiments, and he is all that you can see. All that you want, the sole reason why you can scarcely think straight at the moment.

 It’s a primal instinct, to want and to have, and to be had.

The more you look at him, breathless, the more you wonder if he feels like that too. He probably thinks in far more decent terms than you do because you can get a bit too dark on the inside to think straight and decent.

“I really enjoyed getting to know you over these past few weeks, to connect on a human level,” Steven continues. “I mean, who you are. And who you are is… really fucking spectacular.”

You haven’t heard him cuss before and you wouldn't have pegged him as the kind of guy who cusses, but it’s definitely doing something to you. Might be him, might be the wine, or it might be a combination of the both. At this point, it's futile to try to understand.

Tonight is shaping up to be quite the evening after all.

“I’m—not,” you smile flustered. “I try, but sometimes I—I go a little dark.”

“That's alright. Everyone does, don't they?"

You scoff. “How are you so open-minded and okay with the idea that someone is telling you upfront, ‘hey, I’m kind of a mess sometimes’? How are you so—so dreamy?”

Steven laughs, scratching his head, and you realize you might’ve made him a bit uncomfortable with your previous remark. But it’s a genuine question because how is he this dreamy?! Can he actually be the ideal man?

All you know is that Steven makes you feel things you haven’t felt since high school, if maybe ever. You haven’t felt anything this intense in years. It might actually rekindle your hope for the male species.

“I wouldn’t call myself that,” he giggles. “A couple of my former dates might disagree with you. I'm not actually a pro at dating."

“Yeah well, an ex might be bitter enough to think that way. But I do think you’re an amazing guy, and… I’m glad you’re here tonight.”

“I’m glad you’re here tonight.”

Oh fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuuuuck. The way he says your name right after that sentence, your full first name, with that British accent sprinkled in, oh my God.

You discover, much to your dismay, that you are feeling things you haven’t felt in years. Carnivorous, urgent, tingling and prickling your skin and you're in imminent danger.

“So did you find what you came in here for?” Steven asks all of a sudden and just like that, when your eyes meet, you're a puddle.

Your heart’s thrumming in your ears, pounding away in your chest; so, so loudly you're afraid it might burst out for him to see it too. You haven’t felt this way in a long time, that much has been established; but this just seems incessant and over the top. You barely know him as a regular person and you just wonder… can you be this insanely attracted to someone you barely know?

“I think I did,” you respond eventually, your voice scratchy against your dry throat, like sand on paper. “Except now I’m debating… um… whether I should or should not have it.”

Steven takes a step closer to you, thus indirectly forcing you to look up at him and you swear you feel your knees buckle under the weight of this solitary glare. Then he clears his throat and stares at you, cheeks flushed and all.

“If you really want it, perhaps it means you should have it,” he says. “There should be no hesitation with the things you want.”

“What if—what if I’m not fit to have it? What if I do something to ruin it? Because this thing, it's—it's beautiful and sweet and kind and a lot of the time I'm not. What if when I inevitably hold it in my hands, I'll stain it?”

This would be a great time to claim this is a metaphor about a book on the shelf, but it isn’t. You know it, Steven knows it. There’s no need to pretend, even if no specific words are given.

“I suppose you have to take a chance and see what happens,” Steven says nearly breathless and to my shock, you see his eyes drop straight to your mouth. “It’s a gamble, as with most things.”

You unconsciously lick your lips and bite on your bottom one, and something changes in his eyes. You swear it fucking does. It can’t be just your imagination, however hormone-soaked it may be right now.

“Take Orpheus and Eurydice for instance,” he continues. “Their love was no gamble, no what if’s. They just knew it from the moment their eyes laid on each other. They knew they had to have each other.”

Okay, so citing one of the most infamous love stories of all time is not helping right now because you're really about to throw caution to the wind and live in the moment, for once in this damned life.

What repercussions would there be, anyway? You simply want to kiss him, that’s all; to kiss him on his cheeks, his nose, his lips, down his neck and down his whole body till he’s writhing beneath you and he’s a pleading, mumbling and sweaty mess. Pleading for the kind of release only you could give to him.

Okay, maybe some repercussions. And this isn’t the time or the place for any of that.

Shit, the image of a sweaty, pleading Steven haunts you now as you're met with his blown-out eyes, somehow still kind.

“That’s… I can’t argue against that,” you smile, way too flustered about the images running through your head. “Thank you for the wise words.”

“I have often been told I am somewhat of a wise man,” Steven jokes.

You chuckle. “You really are though. Um, Steven?”

You're not really sure what happens after you call out his name; all you know is that you pull him in by the wrist, our eyes locked in what seems like a pleading glare, both of us begging the other to move, to do something, anything, and then your body is pressed against the bookshelf, one large hand on the small of your back and the other in your hair, while a sweet mouth is a hot furnace on yours, pressing and touching relentlessly.

And you feel like you're straight up in heaven. You taste, see and feel heaven.

Christ, his lips are so soft, and yet the way he kisses is passionate, tender and ferocious all at once. It’s like he’s trying his hardest to let you know he’s gentle and caring but that he wants this so fucking much and the mixture, the entire idea in and of itself, has you absolutely feral. So much so that you kind of groan into his mouth, and that seems to spur him on. He pushes a bit of himself into you, and you're melting. You're melting and burning up and you never want to be apart from him, from any part of him.

You're left confused when you don’t feel his mouth on yours and oddly disappointed, but then you notice why he stopped. Miranda’s in the doorway, her hand on the knob, chuckling at you.

“My apologies,” she smiles at you. “Didn’t realize I was interrupting.”

“No, we were not—it’s not—“you start, losing the string of your own sentence as you manically lick your lips in what appears to be a feeble attempt at memorizing the taste of Steven's lips.

“If it’s urgent, the bedrooms are all free, and the bathroom’s stocked.”

You feel a rush of embarrassment flood you, and your cheeks are even redder than before.

“We weren’t planning on—on any of that,” Steven mumbles.

Miranda cocks an eyebrow at you, and you both feel like two teenagers being scolded—oddly enough. “Didn’t look like that from here. I was wondering how long it will take you two to finally get your act together. Enjoy the evening!”

With that, she leaves, and you feel even more determined to explain yourself, even if… really, there’s no reason to feel this way. You only shared one kiss, albeit a very heated one. Nothing else happened.

Could it have happened? If Miranda hadn’t walked in… would you have gone all the way?

You know you could have, with the way you felt so devoured and consumed by that kiss and by Steven himself.

Steven clears his throat, scratching the back of his head as he looks at you, his whole face red, just like his lips. Now that you’ve had a taste of his lips, of the way he can be when he wants something—someone—you feel feral, in an absolutely unhinged desire for more.

And it scares you as much as it thrills you.

"I'm really, really sorry," Steven apologizes.

“No, I’m the one who’s sorry. I feel like I sort of lured you into this… bookish trap.”

And then something hits me. “Actually… no. I’m not sorry,” you correct yourself.

Steven seems surprised, only pleasantly. “I’m not sorry about this. We didn’t do anything bad, right? Unless the kiss was bad, in which case…”

He giggles, and he’s so damn sweet you could eat him up, spread him on a cracker.

Naked.

Okay babe, focus. Stay on topic.

“It was the stellar opposite of that,” Steven smiles reassuringly, though his eyes maintain that look in them that’s rather… feral as well.

“I’m not sorry about the kiss because… truth be told, I’ve been sort of… thinking about this for quite some time.”

“Yeah? Anything else you thought about?”

Oh shit, when he’s intentionally flirty is just so attractive you can barely hold yourself together in one piece.

“A lot of anything else,” you admit and gosh, how is it possible that your cheeks are burning even more?! “But this is a third glass of wine conversation. Or—maybe for another setting.”

Steven smiles, still flustered himself. His cheeks are rosy, slightly reddened, and it paints such a beautiful image. It is now that you realize he truly is beautiful: his chocolate brown eyes, long eyelashes, gorgeous hair, and simply the kind aura about him that makes you want to be around him at all times. He exudes safety and warmth and you have genuinely become frightened by how much you am into him already.

“Maybe that glass of wine isn’t such a good idea in the end,” Steven mutters affected.

“Oh? How come you changed your mind?”

“Full honesty?”

“I usually appreciate it very much.”

He leans back in, his eyes roaming your figure and your spine tickles with electricity. A hot and cold shiver passes through you; you tremble. You actually tremble. Holy shit.

“It’ll have quite an effect on me and I might want to take Miranda’s advice from before. Get on with what we started.”

Nothing but a faint oh leaves your mouth; and that’s barely the word itself, just a gust of wind that resembles the word oh, because your brain cannot compute anything at the moment besides what he just said.

And what he said is… well.

“And that would not be the gentleman-y thing to do,” he carries on, and his face is so flustered and yet riddled with something akin to neediness that your head starts spinning again.

Of course he wants to do gentleman-y things. Of course. How on brand for someone such as Steven Grant.

But oh how much you'd love to tell him—and show him—that he can easily do the opposite of that.

You can’t get the sensation of his lips pressed against yours out of your mind. You can’t get his taste out from your lips or your mind. It’s like he’s infiltrated far below the skin, straight into your bloodstream, swimming in your veins, becoming one with your entire system, and you find yourself absolutely speechless. You have genuinely no idea what to tell him or what to reply to him, so you kind of just stare at him in disbelief whilst also wishing for more, almost begging through that single stare, begging him to do anything remotely close to that kiss. Any touch right now would send you into a pleasurable orbit, even a breath in your direction would set your whole body on fire, and as you're thinking this, you come to realize maybe it isn’t such a good idea.

After all, you're still at the dinner party where loads of other people are and something like this, with someone as special as Steven, requires to be in a very intimate setting.

“Is there ever a time when you don’t think of the gentleman-y thing to do?” you chuckle and immediately face palm yourself mentally. Why would you so shamelessly pose such a flirty question when both your minds are in very fragile states right now?

Good god, get a grip over yourself, woman.

“Right now would be a very solid example,” he replies and you could so easily faint right now knowing that those words actually came out of his mouth. “But we can’t always give into our very first urges, can we? Otherwise it’d be so much chaos in this already chaotic world.”

Your jaw slightly drops as you look at him in awe. “You are... impossibly poetic.”

Steven chuckles, a soulful and hearty sound, and to know you are capable of rising such crystalline sounds from him, from such a beautiful man, it means so much to you.

“I just say what I think, nothing to it,” he keeps laughing.

“You’re really making things difficult right now, you know?”

“How so?”

“Well… let’s just say I have half a mind to surrender to that very first urge regardless of what might happen.”

“Kind of an unreliable narrator that urge, isn’t it? Saying it wants things, and it wants things badly, but rationality knows that if we do give into it, into that lust, we also become unreliable in a way.”

Your jaw drops further, and you shake my head. “Steven, you have got to stop with this, seriously. You’re making things very hard for me right now.”

“Sorry! I'm sorry.”

But he keeps laughing and laughing, even as he allows you to leave the room first and leads you back into the kitchen where we end up having a glass of water and talking about literature for another hour.

And around midnight, you arrive at the startling realization that you might be falling in love already.

[jostyriggslover96]

Someone Unexpected

Summary: Kira (OC) and Jack met through mutual friends (Nolan Patrick and Nico Heiser) unexpectedly one summer. Feeling an instant connection, they decide to go on a date. Nerves take over as the two set out on what might be their first date of many. **This is a continuation of Kira & Jack from Summer Rituals, it might be helpful to check that out! *Kira's thoughts have been italicized.

Part of the HEART FIRST Series

Note: Thank you so much for all the love on Summer Rituals, I am super excited to continue Kira and Jack's story! All of your support means a lot to me! I have a lot planned with them, if you want to be tagged let me know.

Warnings: mentions of drinking, past relationships

Word Count: 6k

Life can be surreal sometimes with the way things fall into place. There is this saying about dating that I’ve always hated, ‘you’ll meet someone when you least expect it’. That saying has always set me off because it's never been true. I have spent my fair share of time alone and in relationships with shitty guys; yet, I have never met the right one when I’m not looking for anything. That is, until now.

To say I didn’t expect to meet anyone, let alone Jack Hughes on what seemed like a normal summer day was an understatement. I thought it would be a quiet day on the boat where I could read and Nolan could fish. When I showed up at the docks this morning, there he was in all his glory. Despite being completely enamored with Jack from the moment our eyes locked, I kept a safe distance from him when we all got on the boat. If Nolan invited him, I’m sure he wouldn't be an asshole, but I’ve been hurt one too many times to let my guard down. The last guy though, he did a number on me and it took a lot of time for me to heal. Between the cheating, body shaming, and belittling I experienced with my ex I learned to be very wary about trusting men. Even though it's been two years since I left my ex, I’m just starting to feel like I’ve found myself again.

As a protective factor, I kept my distance from the starry-eyed forward and focused my attention on ensuring Nolan didn’t hit any other boats as he backed out of the marina. Still, I didn’t think anything would come from meeting Jack until he sat down beside me and asked me about the book in my beach bag. That question started everything…the perfect day spent getting to know the perfect guy. I explained to him that the book isn’t really a normal book, but it’s actually a collection of poetry.

“So the poems all flow together, but they aren’t about the exact same thing,” I tried to explain to Jack as I thumbed through the book to show him some examples. He was surprisingly eager to listen to my explanation of what was probably one of my favorite collections of poems. Normally guys don’t really care much about my interests…but maybe Jack is different.

“Okay, and they’re all about milk and honey?” Jack questioned while he processed what I was saying. I let out a hearty laugh at his statement; not because he was way off, but because he actually cared. A smile crept across Jack’s face, “what’s so funny?”

“Milk and Honey is the title, but not really the theme,” I smiled while crossing my legs to lean closer to Jack, already starting to warm to him. “They’re about relationships and healing actually.”

“Oh, that actually sounds pretty good,” Jack mirrored my movements, shuffling closer to me on the bench we were sharing.

“Thanks for caring,” I said softly, shooting Jack a more timid smile. Feeling myself retreat to my meek demeanor.

“You like it, of course I care,” the words slid out of his mouth so naturally. Jack Hughes might actually be different. 

We spent the rest of the afternoon talking about anything and everything. Movies, music, food, some horrific stories I had from my time as a bartender. We even got into deeper topics too; what it was like growing up in Toronto for him, why I decided to get my first degree and my second, what it was like growing up with two brothers, my differing thoughts on only having one brother, and of course, hockey. Despite being apprehensive when I first met him, he was quickly knocking down the walls I built around myself to stay safe.

“So I originally wanted the number 6, but someone already had it when I came to the team,” Jack explained to me after we had been spending some time discussing what it was like being drafted and playing his rookie year. 

“How did you come up with 86 then?” I asked as the sun glinted on my sunglasses. It had been a long afternoon on the boat, but we didn’t care. Jack spent the whole time talking to me, even ignoring the offers to try out wake-surfing when the guys asked.

“Well Quinn wears 43 so I wanted something that tied me to him,” he smiled softly as he tucked his wavy hair behind his ear. The wind was starting to pick up as he attempted to keep his flow at bay.

“He must mean a lot to you,” my fingers brushed his arm as I instinctively reached for him to offer some form of reassurance. Sparks shot through me like lightning as we touched for the first time. As I glanced down to where we connected, Jack reached forward to tuck the stray hairs that had fallen in my eyes. Warmth went rushing to my cheeks as my eyes darted back to his, he was watching me closely.

Shaking his head, as if he was in a daze, he refocused. “They both do, just don’t tell them that,” he joked, his laughter sent fireworks through my body. 

Somehow he could be so serious yet sarcastic at the same time. The conversation with him just flowed, it felt so normal. He felt so normal with me. I never imagined that someone who is considered a rising star in the NHL could be so normal with me. Nothing felt fake or ingenuine, it all felt natural and comfortable. Feeling this way with a guy was a completely foreign feeling for me. Jack Hughes was a completely unexpected addition to my life, but even in the 10 hours I’ve known him it is beyond clear to me that he is someone unexpected that I was meant to meet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a long day out on the water, everyone was happy to get out of the sunshine and back to Nolan’s cabin. Despite being initially hesitant around Jack, we had bonded so much on the boat that we were basically attached at the hip. He even came with me when I stopped by my families’ cabin so I could change into some clothes for the evening. In the 5 minutes we were in the cabin, Jack was practically glued to the wall of family photos. He kept shouting questions to me while I was in my room, “Kira is this you in the Mickey ears?”. He was surprised to find out that I used to be a dancer, knew how to play hockey, and that I have a niece. I couldn’t help but laugh to myself as I gathered my things, Jack actually seemed passionate about learning more about me. He’s the first guy, probably ever, who has made that effort with me.

Jack and I walked back to Nolan’s cabin hand-in-hand, which captured the stares of our friends. I knew why my friends were surprised, I honestly haven’t shown any interest in another guy since my last breakup. I’m also not usually one for PDA, but there’s something about Jack that pushes me out of my comfort zone. We settled on a giant lawn chair big enough for two around the firepit and got cozy while everyone got ready to roast hotdogs. This was a typical summer night at the lake that I’ve always loved, with the welcome addition of Jack by my side.

As the night carried on, there was a slight chill in the nighttime breeze that sent shivers down my spine as I watched Nolan tend to the fire. Sensing my sudden chill, Jack pulled me into his side as we shared the plaid tattered blanket that was in the bed of Nolan’s truck. My body froze for a second at the sudden closeness of Jack, normally I was not one for any cuddling or closeness to any guy, let alone someone I just met. Yet as I gazed up into Jack’s soothing blue eyes, I relaxed almost instantly into his warmth. Our friends have been giving us both strange looks all day, clearly shocked at our instant connection. Cuddling under a blanket by the fire was sure to raise some eyebrows.

I didn’t care at all though, completely oblivious to the smirks and pointed looks of our friends as Jack and I settled into comfortable conversation while we roasted marshmallows for smores. Talking to Jack was so easy, maybe because I’ve never met a guy this interested in my life before. We spent the evening chatting about college, hockey, family, travel plans, and much more long after the sunset. We were so caught up in each other, we didn’t even notice that most of our friends had trickled inside or out to the dock. 

Taking the final gulp of my beer while Jack told me a story about the lake house he was planning to buy with his brother, I finally noticed that Jack and I were alone by the fire as I set the bottle down. Glancing around over my shoulder to see where our friends had gone brought the same realization to Jack’s attention. Silence filled the air between us for a moment, tension buzzing between us like electricity.

“Soo…,” Jack trailed off as a smile graced his lips. “Guess they ditched us,” he smirked as my lips turned up into a smile to match his. 

I let out a slightly nervous chuckle while I regained my bearings. Jack made me nervous, but not in a bad way. Not in the way I was uncomfortable with, but in a way that excited me.  “Guess so, jerks,” I joked sarcastically. Jack let out a boisterous chuckle that sent fireworks right to my heart. I would love to hear that laugh for the rest of my life. Jack’s laughter didn’t last long as a serious look that I didn’t recognize graced his features.

“Actually, I was hoping to get you alone tonight,” Jack stuttered. He started scratching the back of his neck while fiddling with the ends of his hair. Suddenly I recognized the signs, he was nervous. It was actually quite sweet watching his demeanor shift. 

“Oh yeah?” I questioned as I raised an eyebrow, encouraging him to explain himself further. 

“Uh yeah,” he nodded for a moment. “Kira, there’s something I want to ask you.” His speech stopped as he waited to gauge my reaction. 

“Go on Jack,” I encouraged, reaching for his hand that was resting on my shoulder to give it a squeeze.

With my reassurance, a smile formed on his lips once more. “Well, I was wondering if…” he paused to take a breath and perhaps gain some confidence. “Would you like to go out on a date with me?” 

As the words left his lips and the sound met my ears, shock fell upon my face. My mouth went dry as I scrambled to find the words to answer his question. When was the last time someone asked me on a date? How do people usually respond to these questions?

“Shit, I freaked you out. I know we just met…” he trailed off. My shock was obviously spreading to him in the form of insecurity as his eyes dropped from mine. My mind continued to race as I struggled to find the words to convey my feelings on the matter. Oh god, what if he regrets asking me out?

“I’m not freaked out,” the words tumbled from my mouth without thought. Jack’s eyes lifted from my tattered black converse. “Surprised maybe, but not freaked out,” I commented while sending a warm smile his way. 

Jack’s smile mirrored mine once more, god he has a beautiful smile. Moment of truth, time to answer a question that might change my life forever. “I would love to go on a date with you,” I let out a shaky breath as relief filled my body once more. 

“Really?” Jack beamed.

“Absolutely Jack,” happiness filled my entire body like a tingle as I watched the gorgeous hockey player’s excitement grow.

“It’s not too soon?” He rebounded quickly.

“Jack, not at all,” I let out a breathy chuckle. “Would I say yes to anyone who asked me out on the first day we met?” I paused for a moment as curiosity filled his eyes. “Definitely not, but there's something different about you, Jack Hughes,” I commented as I stared longingly into his eyes.

“There’s something different about you too Kira,” his voice was but a whisper as he leaned closer to me to brush a few stray hairs behind my ear. His eyes darted to my lips before meeting my gaze once again. Before I could nod in silent permission that he could kiss me, Nolan’s deep voice shook me from my thoughts.

“Yo Kira, your car is blocking Jayden in,” Nolan shouted as he approached us from the cabin. My eyes rolled back as Jack dropped his head in defeat. I let out an exasperated sigh, fucking Nolan.

“Okay, I’ll move it,” I called back before smiling softly at Jack once more before throwing the blanket off my lap and pulling myself from the chair. I guess I’ll have to wait for our date for another chance at a kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~~

A whole 12-hours have passed since my late-night cuddles by the fire with Jack and with that, our first date grew closer. 12-hours felt like an eternity since I last saw Jack, I miss those blue eyes and his smile. Neither Jack nor I wanted to wait long to have our first date, so we planned to have it the very next day. Since I was the resident expert at the lake, I planned our date because I know all the good spots. I also have my family cabin to myself for the week, meaning there won’t be any more interruptions from anyone else, especially Nolan.

As the clock struck 2, I nervously climbed into my hatchback feeling my heart race as I pulled out of the gravel-road makeshift driveway by our cabin. The drive to Nolan’s cabin was short, mere minutes, this didn’t help ease my nerves as I stopped in front of his cabin. Getting out of my car, I rounded the front and leaned against the passenger side to wait for Jack. As I was waiting I started nervously picking my nails, a bad habit I picked up many years before. Pulled from my thoughts as I heard the cabin door swing open, I glanced up and was graced with Jack’s heartstopping smile. 

“Hey beautiful,” He smiled as he jogged down the few stairs on the deck and pulled me in for a hug before I could react. Inhaling for a moment as I felt his warmth, my nostrils were met with the soothing smell of his cologne, which could only be described as hot boy cologne. 

Recovering from my initial shock, “don’t flatter me, I’m just in comfy clothes,” I retorted. Jack pulled away from our hug, I felt disappointment creep into my bones wanting to pull him closer once more. He eyed me skeptically before glancing down at my outfit; I was sporting lavender leggings with a matching sports bra and a loose white crop top. 

“You make comfy clothes look good,” his voice filled with desire as he leaned in once more. He was so close that I could feel his breath dancing across my skin. “You look beautiful,” he whispered before pressing his lips to my cheek and pulling away. My hand shot up to my cheek, skin burning from where his lips once were.

Shaking myself from my momentary trance, I dropped my hand from my warm cheeks. “Well, let’s get going. You’re going to love this hike, it’s my favorite,” I commented as I made my way back to the driver's side to hop back in the car.

“Nice ride,” Jack commented as we were buckling in. Glancing up at him I sent him a warm smile as I started the vehicle before putting it in drive.

“I mean, it’s no Range Rover but it gets me from point a to point b,” I chuckled as we moved away from the cabin. Jack and I chatted comfortably on the short drive to the hiking trail, discussing the lake and its cutesy shops. I was focusing on the road but the few times I glanced over at Jack I caught him staring; he would always look away quickly but I did notice blush creeping up his neck. Maybe he had the first date jitters too.

Gripping the steering wheel tightly the rest of the short drive, I turned into the parking lot by the trail, relieved to see there weren’t any other cars parked. That meant the trail would be quiet, which is perfect for a first date. We both got out of the car as I made my way to the trunk to pull out the small backpack I brought with me. Jack offered to carry it as I reached back into the trunk for the bug spray. 

“Did you use bug spray?” I asked softly. Jack scrunched up his face, clearly unhappy to see the repellent.

“No, I hate that stuff,” he mockingly gagged as I shook the can at him. I let out a laugh, my nerves slightly easing at his distaste.

“Well, unless you want to be eaten alive, I would use it,” I commented as I stepped back from him to spray myself down. Once I was done I handed him the can which he reluctantly accepted. 

“This is necessary?” he questioned as he hesitated with the spray.

“Welcome to Canada,” I joked as I nodded my head. He sprayed himself with the bug protectant before tossing it back in my trunk. We locked up the car and headed over to the start of the trail just off the parking lot. 

“So, you bring a lot of first dates here?” he teased. My cheeks felt flush as I glanced up at the hockey player who was towering over me. After staring into his eyes for a moment I determined that he was joking, we’re still figuring out these quirks about each other.

“Only the ones who are worth it,” I shot back as we started making our way onto the trail. “So my family normally comes on this trail every summer. It’s not super long or uphill but there is a gorgeous lookout point about halfway through,” I explained as Jack and I matched each other's pace. He seemed to enjoy my explanation, listening eagerly when I told him the story of how our family dog jumped into the pond on the side of the trail when she saw a butterfly one year.

“I see why you like this hike,” Jack commented. His voice was a little shaky in a way I didn’t recognize. “Worth it for the bug spray,” he chuckled. I let out a snicker at his clear hatred of bug repellent. 

“You lived in Canada before, this can’t be your first experience with bug spray,” I teased. As we continued on the trail I started picking at the hem of my shirt, noticing a few rouge strings pulling away from the material.

“Doesn’t mean I like it, it feels greasy,” he scoffed. I nodded in agreement, he wasn’t wrong. As we rounded a corner venturing deeper into the trees, I stepped over a large tree root. 

“Just be careful,” I commented, glancing up at Jack who was staring at me intently. “There are a lot of roots to watch out for…” I trailed off. Just as I was warning Jack about the trail I caught him catching a tree root with his shoe out of the corner of my eye. As Jack started to tumble down I instinctively reached out to grab him with both arms. He gripped my arms tightly as he went down on one knee, his cheeks were red when he met my gaze once more. “Are you okay?”

He took a moment, “Yeah, just my first time walking,” he joked sarcastically. I threw my head back in laughter for a moment before helping him get back on his feet. “Good to hear your laugh,” he smiled as he brushed himself off.

“I did try to warn you,” I feigned, throwing my hands up in mock defense.

“I just meant, you seemed…tense earlier,” he commented as he tried to gently find the words to point out my nerves. Pursing my lips I debated in my head for a moment, do I tell him?

“I’m a bit nervous,” I hesitantly replied, deciding to go with honesty.

Jack let out a long sigh of relief, “So am I, first dates ya know?”

“Oh I know,” I agreed as I felt the tension melt away from my body. Just admitting to the nerves helped relieve them.

“You have nothing to be nervous about Kira,” Jack’s voice was soft as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side as we started to walk again.

“Oh yeah?” I questioned, glancing up at him in uncertainly.

“Yeah, I like you,” he stated matter of factly, so sure of himself. I do love the confidence, he’s not even cocky at all.

“I like you too,” I feel a smile spreading across my face as I glance at the ground making sure we don’t take a repeat tumble. We walked in comfortable silence for a few moments, Jack’s arm still wrapped around me tightly. “So, are you going to hold onto me for the rest of this hike?” I teased.

“I’m not falling again,” he joked sarcastically. I echoed his laughter, feeling bold I wrapped my arm around his lower back as we continued walking. We spent the rest of the hike with our arms wrapped around each other, not caring that doing so slowed down our pace significantly. We just enjoyed being close to each other, it felt comfortable. The silence in the trees was filled with our discussions about our favorite summer memories with our families, he shared a lot about his summers in Michigan and I feel that I grew to know him even more with those stories. Despite being so hesitant yesterday, Jack was easily proving that we could have a normal connection despite his hockey superstardom. 

After our hike, we planned to head back to my cabin for dinner. As we parked out front and pulled ourselves from the vehicle an idea crept into my mind. “Still feel greasy from the bug spray?” I questioned as he shut my car door. Nodding his head vigorously he swiped some of the bug spray off his arm as evidence. “You know we could go for a quick swim?” I gestured to the water just off the cabin. My family was lucky enough to have a lakeside cabin with a private dock that I spent most of my summers sitting on.

“I don’t have my swim trunks,” Jack commented hesitantly. I smirked at him for a moment before I started toying with the bottom of my shirt.

“That’s never stopped me before,” I teased before pulling my crop top off and tossing it at the hockey player. Jack’s eyes were wide for a moment as he mentally processed the shock from the shirt hitting him in the chest. He was quiet for a moment as I stared at him, hands on my hips waiting for his response.

“Yeah, I’m in,” he shrugged as a playful smile grew on his lips. We both quickly shed the rest of our clothes before we were left standing with him in his briefs and me in my underwear. Thank the gods that I chose cute underwear today. We both stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, I had to try very hard to not openly gawk at his abs. Damn, he is gorgeous. 

After taking in all of his beauty, a sly smile crept onto my face. “Race ya,” I shouted without warning as I took off for the water. Jack chased after me as I shot across the grass and to the wooden dock. I should’ve known he would be faster than me, I thought as he quickly caught up to me. He grabbed me around the waist, lifting me off the ground to spin me around. I couldn’t help the fit of laughter that spread through me as Jack twirled around while I was safely in his arms. “Jack, put me down,” I playfully smacked his shoulder as he carried me towards the edge of the dock.

A mischievous smile crept onto his lips that let me know that it was payback time. “Put you down? Are you sure?” He taunted as he held me over the water. I clung to him tightly as nerves spread through my body. He better not. 

“Jacky don’t!” I pleaded as he swung me over the water haphazardly. He was obviously having a good time with this, laughing as I clung to him like a fearful koala bear. “Jacky please!” I begged.

“Only because you asked so nicely,” his voice dripped with sarcasm as he set me down on my two feet. I instantly stepped out of his hold and crossed my arms over my chest, inadvertently pushing my boobs up which caught Jack’s attention. Smirking as I noticed his distraction I quickly shifted all my weight forward and shoved him off the dock; I knew it was deep enough to be safe, having jumped off this dock my whole life. 

“Shit!” he cried out as he stumbled backwards into the water, fully submerging beneath the surface. He emerged within seconds, a pouty look forming on his face. “That wasn’t very nice,” he whined. I chuckled, crouching to my knees to lean over the edge of the dock. 

“Sorry Jacky,” I mirrored his pout. Before I knew what hit me, he smacked his arms against the water to splash me. Letting out a small scream as the cold water hit my skin, “meany,” I pouted.

“Sorry babe,” he teased but I didn’t care. Hearing the pet name shot butterflies to my heart and maybe elsewhere. He reached his hand out for me, which I naively assumed was to pull him out of the water. Using all of his strength, he pulled me off the dock and into the water as I crashed into him. Pushing my hair out of my eyes and sputtering water as I emerged from the surface, I gave him a playful shove.

“I can’t believe you did that,” I huffed as I sent some water splashing his way.

“I can’t believe you fell for that,” he said between fits of laughter. 

“Oh yeah, very funny,” I scoffed as I treaded water. “I thought you liked me,” mock sadness filled my voice. 

“Babe, I like you, like a lot,” Jack commented as he swam closer to me, catching me with his arm and pulling me to his firm muscular body. My hands rested on his bare chest as I felt the butterflies once more. There we were staring into each other’s eyes on a beautiful summer day in the water. I couldn’t help but feel this wouldn’t be the last time this happened.

“I like you alot too,” I smiled softly. “But only if you stop splashing me,” I followed up quickly as I traced random shapes on his chest. 

“Deal,” he snickered. We spent the better part of an hour swimming around, laughing, inevitably splashing each other more, and drying off in the sun on the dock. Our conversations continued to get deeper as we surpassed the surface level aspects of getting to know each other. He listened intently while I explained why I wanted a career where I could help people. I couldn’t hide my smile as he described having his dreams come true when he was drafted, hockey clearly brought him so much joy. We spent time discussing different sports we loved playing, and even more importantly, the sports teams we loved watching. 

Our conversation never died down or got boring, I never want this date to end. After a while, my stomach started to grumble. I decided it was better to get started on supper before I got hangry as I shifted from Jack’s arms and pulled myself to my feet. Offering my hand to him to help him up, “how do you feel about steak?” I asked once he was on his feet towering over me once again.

“Like you might be my dream girl,” he smiled as we wrapped our arms around each other and walked off the dock together. 

“Good, I might need your help with the broccoli though. It’s pretty tricky,” I joked sarcastically knowing it would get a rise out of Jack. Jack stopped dead in his tracks, stopping me with him.

“Did Nico tell you about that?” his voice was full of embarrassment. I smiled and leaned into him, wrapping my other arm around his waist as I nodded.

“I think it’s cute though,” I reassured him as he let out a sigh of relief as we stopped to collect our clothes before heading inside.

Once we were back in comfortable dry clothing, we got started on supper. Jack was surprisingly helpful in the kitchen, washing the lettuce and putting together a salad with my guidance. He was incredibly impressed that I could work a grill as well as I could and gave me endless compliments on my steak. Even joking that I needed to come live in Jersey to cook for him during the season. The dinner conversation was comfortable as we chatted about my plans for my final year of school, my tattoos, what it’s like to travel so much in the league, and our surprising shared love for fantasy football. Jack very passionately described all the fantasy leagues he is in while he cleaned up the whole meal. He insisted I sit down while he washed the dishes because I cooked such an amazing meal. 

“A man who does chores, you truly know the way to my heart,” I joked as he topped up my glass of wine and started cleaning. 

When everything was dried and put away, I felt dread seep through me, not wanting the night to end. I suggested we go sit on the dock to watch the sun set, an opportunity that Jack eagerly jumped on. So we dragged deck chairs down to the dock and comfortably settled in as the sun made way for the stars. 

We sat in comfortable silence, my feet dangling in Jack's lap as he traced shapes on my ankles over some of my tattoos. He broke the silence first, “This connection is crazy.”

“Hmm,” I hummed as I tore my gaze away from the sun setting on the water to pay attention to Jack.

“The connection between us,” he reiterated. “I don’t know how you feel, but it feels strong to me,” he commented as his hands stilled on my legs. His gaze was soft, reassuring.

“I feel it too, feels like we’ve known each other way longer,” I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear as I leaned back in my chair. “I feel comfortable with you.”

“Me too,” he smiled while giving my leg a little pinch, maybe to reassure me. I have never felt so comfortable with a man this quickly, not in any of my past relationships. It feels like there is this force pulling Jack and I closer, it’s what’s made our connection so strong. This feels so different for me, maybe he’s different from the other guys. I have a feeling he is. “Kira?” Jack’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts as I let out a shaky breath. “You okay?” 

Nodding silently, I try to muster up whatever courage I have within myself. “I was nervous today,” I start, Jack nods encouraging me to continue. “I was nervous because…” I pause for a moment and take a deep breath. Jack pulls me from my chair and into his lap, his arms feel like home. “Well, my last relationship ended quite badly. He really hurt me, I think intentionally and it’s just…just hard for me to open up to people,” letting out a shaky sigh as the words tumble out of me. It feels freeing actually, getting all that out, so it isn’t a secret looming over me. 

Jack shifts me in his lap so I can meet his eyes, “I don’t know what happened in your last relationship, but Kira, I promise you I will never do anything to intentionally hurt you,” his words pierced my soul as his thumb grazed my cheek. “I can’t guarantee I won’t fuck up sometimes, but I will do everything in my power to make you happy.”

His eyes were locked on mine as I melted into his touch. “I know you will Jacky, I feel comfortable around you,” my voice is small as my eyes break from his and dart to his lips. He seems to pick up on my gesture as he takes my face in his hands.

“Can I kiss you?” Jack asks gently. I bite down on my lip to try to hide my smile as I nod my head. Time stops as Jack leans down to connect his lips to mine, his lips are warm against my own as they move in unison. Jack’s tongue ran across my own as I granted him entrance; he tastes sweet, like the wine we were sharing earlier. Our lips locked for a while before we both pulled away for air, huffing as we did so.

“That was…” I trailed off, resting my forehead against Jack’s.

“Pretty damn amazing,” Jack finished my sentence. We stayed like that for a while, foreheads resting on one another; the sunset in the distance long forgotten. 

“You know,” Jack’s voice broke through the comfortable silence. “You got to plan our first date, it was cool to see your favorite spots,” his breath tickled my skin as we remained close.

“I’m glad you liked it,” I smiled as I pecked his lips gently. 

“This just means that I need to plan a date where I show you my favorite spots in Michigan,” he smiled as a playful energy danced through his eyes.

“Bold of you to assume there will be a second date,” I teased. Jack threw his head back in laughter, enjoying the playful jokes we were already comfortable sharing.

“If you’ll have me,” he pouted jokingly.

“Oh I guess, if I must,” I mocked, unable to hide my smile. 

“If you must,” Jack scoffed as he brought his lips back down to mine. Resuming our passionate makeout session, pulling away a few minutes later we were both panting like teenagers with no stamina.

“Okay, fine. I’ll go on another date with you,” I commented as our lips were still attached.

Jack smirked against my lips, “Good, glad I could convince you.”

“You are very convincing,” I said before pulling him in for more. We spent the rest of the night kissing and cuddling underneath the stars, enjoying each other’s company and growing closer than I ever imagined. 

It’s hard to believe this was only our first date, everything is so comfortable between us. Feeling hopeful that there would be another date with the gorgeous hockey player, I can finally smile when thinking about meeting someone when I least expect it. Jack truly came into my life when I didn’t expect it and I hope that he’s here to stay.

[wannab-urs]

For the sleepover

Do me a favor

My baby boy, Dieter

Congratulations again babe! I love you!

Thank you bb I love you and I'm really excited about this fic

For the Record

Pairing: Record Shop Owner!Dieter x f!Reader

Summary: You go to a record store looking for something specific and end up on a date with the owner. 

Warnings/Content: Dieter Bravo being Dieter Bravo, excessive name dropping of bands I like, grungy Dieter wearing Doc Martens and covered in tattoos, reader going to a strangers house like an idiot, kissing, fingering, oral f!receiving, unprotected piv (this is not real life. Don’t be dumb), one tiny little ass slap, praise, creampie, no use of Y/N, WC: ~2900

Notes: Bravo Records is based on Grimey’s in Nashville, TN which you should absolutely visit if you get the chance. Unfortunately it isn’t owned by Dieter Bravo. Thank you @theywhowriteandknowthings for the beta read and the encouragement <;3

Dieter Bravo Masterlist | Main Masterlist | AO3 | Kofi

You’re on the hunt for a Replacements' album, Tim, specifically. Ironically, you’re replacing it in your collection, having lost it to your ex boyfriend. Note to self: never combine your record collection with anyone ever again. 

This morning you’d googled “record shops near me” and scrolled past Walmart and Target, no thank you, and settled on Bravo Records. The blurb advertised it as a “Laid-back music shop specializing in vintage, pressed recordings, CDs & cassette tapes,” and mentioned a bookstore in the basement and a consignment shop out back. 

Pulling into the gravel parking lot, you take in the building. There are murals depicting perfect recreations of album covers on the brick walls of the store. If you couldn’t see the brushstrokes when you got up close, you’d think they were somehow printed on. The bright yellow of Metallica’s 72 Seasons, the hands reaching for the sky on Boygenius’ The Record, both newer releases. But there’s also The Clash’s London Calling and The Stooges’ Fun House. 

Whoever owns this place has taste. You step into the shop, eyes immediately drawn to the oddly curved ceiling and the exposed brick walls, covered in posters and random paintings. There are 6 sets of shelves running almost the entire length of the store up to a small clearing in the back. There’s a surprisingly large stage beyond that, someone playing the guitar and reciting poetry, a smattering of people leaned against the shelves, listening. 

“Welcome to Bravo’s,” a deep but cheery voice rings in your ear. You let out a small yelp and turn sharply to face the source. “Oh! Didn’t mean to scare you. I was just downstairs and heard the door… I’m Dieter, by the way.”

You take in the man now standing in front of you. He’s wearing a very faded Nirvana shirt stretched within an inch of its life across his broad chest and shoulders. It probably used to be black, but now it’s a bit gray, and there are holes in the seams of the collar. His wide legged pants are black and flowy, you almost mistake them for a skirt until he leans against the counter and crosses his legs. His Docs are scuffed, clearly worn in, maybe vintage. You trail your eyes back up his body, noting the various tattoos on his hands and arms, all black ink and thick linework. You settle back on his face and find his eyebrows arched over deep brown eyes, plush lips in a pout. His beard is scruffy, patchy, and his hair looks like he just rolled out of bed. 

“Find anything you like?” He smirks at you and you suddenly realize you just silently checked him out for a good 10 seconds. Your cheeks heat and you clear your throat. 

“Um… I’m looking for Tim? The album I mean, not the guy, I don’t even know a Tim. By the Replacements? Do you know it?” You sound like an idiot oh god. 

He barely restrains a chuckle, mirth dancing in his eyes, “Yeah, I know it. I only have a first pressing in the original sleeve… is that okay?” He crosses his arms over his chest and holy shit. His biceps are huge. You bite your lip and nod. 

“Yes! Er… um. How much is it?” You wince. There’s no way it’s gonna fit in your pitifully small budget. 

Dieter tilts his head to the side and scrunches his eyebrows up, two lines forming between them. He brings a hand to his unruly hair and tugs. So that’s why he looks like he just got thoroughly fucked. He perks his head up suddenly, almost like he heard your thoughts.

“Do you wanna go out with me?” 

“What?”

“Oh! I mean go out for coffee with me and you can have the record.”

“I can’t just take it for free, Dieter!” 

“Of course you can. I’m the owner. It’s my record. Do you not want to go out with me?” His face scrunches up again and fuck. He’s really cute. 

“Of course I want to go out with you,” you splutter, shocking yourself. 

“It’s settled then. Let’s go!” He turns and walks out the door and you scramble to keep up with him. 

“Now? Don’t you have to run the shop?” 

“Nah, Chrissy can handle it,” he waves his hand like it’s no big deal and heads for the street. “It’s just right down the road.” 

–-

Coffee with Dieter is amazing. He orders a sweet monstrosity, frozen, topped with whipped cream and 3 kinds of syrup. You try to order your favorite drink, but he insists you get the same thing as him. 

“Just trust me!” You’ve literally just met the man, but you think you do trust him. There’s just something about him. He learns your name when you give it to the barista and you apologize profusely for being too flustered to properly introduce yourself. 

He just laughs and guides you to a pair of armchairs in the corner, kicking off his boots to reveal mismatched socks – one a dark purple tall sock with embroidered grapes on it, the other an ankle sock with a print of Starry Night on it – and settles cross legged into the chair. You tell him you like his socks. 

He asks you about what you do for work, where you’re from, what your favorite movies are, an endlessly easy and flowing conversation, peppering in his own answers and arguing with you when you tell him that Judd Apatow movie about making a movie during covid was awful. He asks you what your holy grail album is, the one you’d kill to have in your collection. You don’t even have to think about it.

“The Velvet Underground and Nico, original pressing, with the sticker still on it. I’ll never be able to afford it though. I’ve never even seen one in real life.”

“Do you want to?” He looks at you with a shit eating grin and a mischievous glint in his eyes. 

“What? Want to see one in real life? I mean… yeah?” 

“Let’s go then!” He jumps up, pulling his boots back on and heading for the door. You’re again hustling to keep up with him. You follow him out onto the sidewalk. 

“Dieter! Go where?” 

“To my house!” You grab his arm and pull him to a stop. 

“Why are we going to your house?” You’re exasperated.

“To show you the record. You wanted to see it right?” 

“You do not have it. Dieter, there’s no way… One of them just sold for 25k.”

“I do have it. My dad bought it when it came out and now it’s mine.” He takes off walking again, grabbing your hand and pulling you along with him. 

“Is this some sort of ploy to get me to go home with you? You could have just asked.” 

“I know! I mean… fuck. I’m being serious. I have the record upstairs.” He suddenly comes to a stop in front of an apartment building. “If you want, you can wait here and I’ll bring it down. Just promise not to rob me, yeah?” You huff out a frustrated breath. 

“No, it’s fine. I’ll come in with you.” 

His face lights up and he threads his fingers through yours again. It feels nice, holding his hand. He pulls you up the stairs with him and unlocks his door, and you step into his living room. His apartment was clearly supposed to be one of those industrial chic, modern type spaces, but he clearly didn’t care for that style. There are paintings and posters covering every square inch of wall space. “I take it you decorated the shop then?” 

“Yep! I do all the murals too.” Fuck, he can paint too? The concrete floor is covered with rugs of all different shapes, sizes, and textures. There’s a blue couch and some clearly thrifted armchairs off to the left. The right side of the room is absolutely dominated by his record collection. There’s a shelf running the length of the room, standing taller than you and absolutely stuffed with records. On the floor around it are milk crates filled with even more records. 

“Jesus Christ, Dieter, how many records do you have?” You wander over to a crate and start flipping through, finding that he’s organized them by genre. This one is folk punk you notice as you flip through albums by AJJ, Violent Femmes, The Mountain Goats, and more. 

“I genuinely have no idea. I stopped counting back when I was a teenager.” He goes to the shelf, and you decide it must be more organized than it looks because he quickly pulls two albums out and presents them to you. One is the album you asked about in the shop. The other one… 

“Holy shit.” You stare up at him from your crouched position. “Holy fucking shit Dieter you actually have it.”

“I fuckin’ told you! Do you wanna listen to it?” 

“Do I want to listen to it? Are you actually kidding me? Of course I do!!” He grins at you and walks over to his record player beside the couch. He slides the record out of the sleeve gently and places it on the turntable before dropping the needle. You join him on the couch as the first notes of “Sunday Morning” drift into the room. 

“Dieter?” He hums and smiles at you again. “I could kiss you right now. Fuck. Can I kiss you right now?” He looks shocked for a second before taking your face in his hands and pressing his lips to yours. You kiss him back hard, licking into his mouth. He drags you into his lap, your knees settling on the outsides of his thighs. 

You bury your hands in his wild curls and gently tug on them. He groans into your mouth and trails his hands down your body, pulls you even tighter against him. You can feel him getting hard under you, his soft pants doing little to conceal his arousal. You’re not much better off as his lips leave yours and trail down your jaw, your throat, his teeth catching skin as he goes. When “I’m Waiting for the Man,” starts to play, Dieter brings his hands back to your face and pulls you away from him, staring deep into your eyes. 

“Do you wanna have sex with me?” 

You stare at him, shocked for a moment, and then you laugh so hard you fall sideways off his lap. “You know what, Dieter? Yes. I’d like to have sex with you.” 

“Cool,” he breathes out, turning and settling his body over yours. He presses another kiss to your lips and you tug on his shirt. He pulls back long enough to strip it off and you take yours off too. He lays sloppy, open mouthed kisses on your throat and chest, mumbling praises into your skin as he works your jeans and panties down your thighs. You kick them off as he makes his way down to your core. You’re wetter than you’ve ever been in your entire life. He’s so fucking gorgeous. All golden skin beautifully covered in black ink. 

“I think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” Dieter whispers into the space between your thighs. Your hands fly to his hair as he licks a stripe from your entrance to your clit, immediately closing his lips around it and sucking lightly. Your head falls back and a moan rips from your throat. 

He presses a thick finger into you and it’s fucking bliss. He feels so good already. He curls his finger upwards, swirling his tongue in circles around your clit at the same time. Your hands drop to his shoulders as he adds another finger and starts thrusting them into you, curling on every upstroke into your g-spot. 

“Fuck! Dieter… feels so good. Don’t stop.” 

“Shhh baby, I can’t hear the song.” 

You dig your nails into his shoulders, laughing and on the verge of coming at the same time. He slips his tongue down to join his fingers at your entrance and buries his nose against your clit and you’re gone. The shaking of your body from laughing at him quickly gives over to shuddering as your core tightens around his fingers. You cry out, pure euphoria washing over your whole body. 

“That’s it baby. Fuck, you’re squeezing my fingers so tight. Look so pretty coming for me.” Dieter talks you through it until the haze of your orgasm fades. “Here or the bed?” 

“Here. Get in me. Now.” You grab at his hair, pulling his face back up to yours. You kiss your own slick off his lips hungrily as he clumsily shoves his pants down far enough for his cock to spring out. He slides it through your folds a few times before notching it at your entrance. 

You grab his hips and pull him into you, throwing your head back and arching your hips up into him. “Impatient.” He grumbles it into your neck, but thrusts himself into the hilt, clearly as desperate as you. He barely gives you a chance to adjust before he’s drawing back and thrusting into you again. His breath leaves him in a low growl that has a new gush of slick coating his cock. 

You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him back into you every time he pulls out. His thrusts are shallow from this angle, but he’s slamming into you so hard it doesn’t matter. You slot your lips together, not really kissing, just breathing each other in. 

“Dieter, I’m gonna come again,” you can feel your walls tightening around him, drawing him deeper into you. He shifts his angle slightly so that his pelvis grinds against your clit every time his hips meet yours. Your nails dig into the meat of his shoulders, dragging down to his lower back as your whole body tightens and spasms around him. 

For a moment, as you catch your breath, you think your hearing must have gone out. Dieter is buried to the hilt inside you, torso pressed flush to yours, but you don’t hear the music anymore. “Want me to flip it to the B side?” Oh. He just fucked you for the entire A side of the track and he’s still not done. 

“Yeah sure,” you huff a laugh into his hair. He lifts up, presses a kiss to your lips and pulls out of you with a groan. Your cunt flutters around nothing, missing the feeling of him inside you already. You get a good look at his cock now – thick, uncut, drooling precum and covered in your release. He’s so pretty. 

 He flips the record to the B side and then pushes his pants down the rest of the way, leaving them in a black puddle on the floor. He grabs your hips and flips you over onto your stomach. “Thought I’d get a look at your B side too,” Dieter says and you can hear the smirk in his voice. 

“I think I hate you,” you mumble into the cushions. He just laughs and settles one knee on the couch, his other foot planted on the floor. He taps your ass cheek lightly.

“Up on your knees, pretty girl.” You shift to comply and he settles his hands on your hips, helping you up and burying his cock in you again in one smooth motion. 

“Fuck!” Your arms buckle and you drop to your elbows as he rails you. The new angle is so good it almost hurts. He uses his grip on your hips to pull you into every thrust, punching the breath out of you and turning your brain to mush. You couldn’t tell him what song is playing right now if your life depended on it. All you hear is your own strangled moans and the praises he’s crying out into the air. 

“So fucking beautiful. You’re so tight and wet, fuck. I’m gonna come baby. Can I come in your pretty pussy? Please?” You nearly come again at that. The thought of being full of him. 

“Yes! Yes! Dieter. Come in me. Need it. Please!” He buries himself inside you and stays there and you can actually feel his cock jump inside you, hot spurts of cum filling you up. He curls himself over your back and you both collapse into the couch. 

He rolls onto his side, pulling you with him and tucking your back to his chest. He doesn’t pull out of you, just tangles your legs together and wraps his arms around you. You both just lay there in a daze, listening to the rest of the album. When “European Son” fades out and the record starts clicking, Dieter finally slips his softened cock from you. He stands up and puts the record back in its sleeve, filing it back on the shelf. 

“If I go to the bathroom, will you still be here when I get back, or are you gonna steal my record and break my heart?” 

“Of course I’m gonna steal it,” you smile at him, still stretched out on the couch and not really planning on moving any time soon. He rolls his eyes, laughing at you and disappearing into the hallway. 

Maybe combining record collections isn’t completely off the table. If it’s with the right person. 

[cleolinda]

My nephew reviews perfume

I'm not sure how my sister heard about Noteworthy Scents, but the concept is, you take a quiz, and they'll send you four Scientifically Chosen samples ($25 USD) based on your answers.

Noteworthy is a new, exciting way to discover your signature scent. Rather than relying on flashy celebrity branding or overblown marketing promises, we want our customers to be in control of deciding which Noteworthy fragrance is right for them. We’re excited that you’re joining us on this journey - we can’t wait to help you find your signature scent.

I have looked at all the fragrances on offer, and I can tell you, they don't happen to have the notes I would want in my One Perfume to Rule Them All (if there's no peach or ylang ylang, I’m not forsaking the rest of my collection). But more to the point, I don't want just one. I've been writing up the things I've been trying for a few months now, and I enjoy the experimenting. But I appreciate what Noteworthy's trying to do, especially for wearers who want something straightforward, and I was perfectly happy to let my sister be the one to try them.

(I did take the quiz, though, and after telling them I don’t like aquatic scents, they said they would send me one that smells like the beach. I closed the tab. My sister told the quiz that she does not like florals and she does not like amber. You’ll never guess what happened next!)

So her Discovery Kit arrived yesterday. She announced this by texting me,

I’m gonna give you feedback from [Nephew] smelling the perfume

Me: Yeah?

As you may recall from one of my music posts, my nephew is six.

(My sister gave me permission to post this.)

n,841

Lemon, tarragon, cedar wood. A powerful, understated blend of citrus and woods. Drawing from poetry’s ability to spark joy and inspiration, this bright lemon and bergamot blend leaves an instant impression before mellowing out into a rich amber and leather base.

My sister: [Nephew] said

smells like raspberries or being in a dungeon like down in a well

Me: ……..I do not see any of those things on the card

n,551

Lily of the valley, amber, sandalwood. A sensual, comforting, woody scent that cocoons the wearer in notes of warm, glowing sandalwood and cozy, soft cashmere—freshened up with Lily of the Valley.

smells like lime juice or being inside a pumpkin

n,307

Mandarin, basil, sandalwood. Inspired by nostalgic childhood trips to lemon groves, fresh flowers swirling together in the summer breeze, and the radiant colors of perfectly ripe citrus, this energizing fragrance stars juicy mandarin and soft sandalwood, plus light notes of basil.

green grape juice or being on top of an umbrella at the beach

Me: that’s very specific

n,057

Passionfruit, vanilla, tonka bean. Let n,057 become your signature: remarkable, evocative and distinctly yours. Keep your fragrance at home or take our travel spray with you. Fitting snugly in your purse, pocket, or suitcase, it's the perfect on-the-go perfume.

My sister: I think he’s losing his focus on this last one. He said

lemon juice at the lemon store

My perfume sample budget got used up on, like, ugh, actual necessities this month, or I'd give Noteworthy a try for science. On a second try, my quiz results were (very likely overlapping with my sister's):

A captivating blend of warm woods and zesty citrus, like strolling through a sun-drenched forest grove. An intriguing fusion of exotic spices and earthy notes, evoking the vibrant energy of a bustling cityscape. A delightful combination of tropical fruits and delicate florals, reminiscent of a refreshing breeze in a lush garden. And for an unexpected wild card fragrance, a scent that defies expectations because science cannot always predict desire.

Currently, my sister says that she can tell that the Noteworthy fragrances are well-made, but they're not "her"; apparently she's in the 11% algorithm failure group—or maybe she just needs time for them to grow on her! Who knows! She'll bring over her samples for Sunday dinner, and I'll report back if they do, in fact, smell like being inside a pumpkin.

Perfume discussion masterpost

[likesdoodling]

I felt like drawing chibi ascendance of a bookworm characters.

It has been too long.

*wipes away imaginary tear-

And SO MUCH STUFF HAS HAPPENED

I feel like I need to do a and entire collection of these just to catch up on all my favourite moments-

THERE ARE SO MANY OF THEM!!

From the last two books alone along with the prepubs, I mean. Yeah.

Also the fact that I got impatient like four books ago and read the webnovel...

Haha..

I was impatient.

I don't regret it, but now I'm kind of tempted to do a whole lot of incredibly spoiler heavy funny pictures...

:(

Eh.

Maybe I'll just do them anyway and release them as the novels come out, or the prepubs since I'm following both rn-

IT'S JUST SO EXCITING!

ANd the LAteST PREpuB!

*screams-

I just... I want to do more stuff as it comes out, but I have been sadly busy.

Studying.

Which is fine.

BUT BOOKWORM STUFF!

Y'know, I started learning Japanese to see if I could learn the language before all the light novels got translated-

Which is looking like more of a pipe dream as time goes by,

(I started two years ago, but haven't gotten that far)

But now I genuinely just want to learn Japanese, light novels aside, cause like... BOOKS. In a different language? And poetry? And Stuff? And Anime?

Besides Japanese just looks pretty. Which yes, I know is a kind of shallow reason but still-

Eh. I just like the language. It's cool. Though it makes you realise just how weird English is. I mean, I do not envy anyone trying to learn English as their second language, it makes like, no sense. I mean, it is useful, since so many people speak it, but I am also very grateful that I don't have to learn it.

(spoilers ahead-)

Anyway. I felt like drawing today, so here we have 'totally there in person' Myne facing off against Detlinde! Who will win?

I mean if Myne was actually there I feel like she would utterly destroy Detlinde, mainly because y'know. You don't threaten Ferdinand when Myne's around. Overall bad move/prepare to be obliterated-

Yeah. I like the latest book. It's cool.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

every single book I read in 2022. all 129 of them.

jesus christ

let's start with the best of the best; everything else will get listed beneath the read more because I'm not an animal. even just picking out my favorites is honestly probably going to get pretty lengthy, even though I'm trying to keep the synopses short.

batmanisagatewaydrug's noteworthy books of 2022

Complaint! (Sara Ahmed, 2021) - necessary for anyone doing diversity work in higher education, tbh

America is Not the Heart (Elaine Castillo, 2018) - achingly gorgeous novel of heartbreak and healing.

The School for Good Mothers (Jessamine Chan, 2022) - honestly? I feel very good calling this my favorite book of the entire year. sensitive, smart, chilling.

Black Feminist Thought (Patricia Hill Collins, 1990) - truly ashamed to say I didn't read this sooner. Collins' clear-eyed analysis remains crazily spot-on 30+ years later.

Hurts So Good: The Science and Pleasure of Pain on Purpose (Leigh Cowart, 2021) - I read this book so early in 2022 and literally have not stopped thinking about it since.

Batman: King Tut's Tomb (Nunzio DeFillippis, Christina Weir, José Luis García-López, and Kevin Nowlan, 2009) - dare I say the most fun I had with a comic all year.

You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty (Akwaeke Emezi, 2022) - a romance unlike any other. queer, fun, sexy, bold as hell, and joyfully life-affirming.

The Dangers of Smoking in Bed (Mariana Enríquez, trans. Megan McDowell, 2021) - DELICIOUSLY creepy short stories that will lurk in your brain forever.

Lesser Known Monsters of the 21st Century (Kim Fu, 2022) - if a more perfect short story collection exists I am yet to find it.

The World We Make (N.K. Jemisin, 2022) - I normally hesitate to include sequels on a list like this, but god DAMN Jemisin is the queen of modern spec fic for a reason.

We Do This 'Til We Free Us: Abolitionist Organizing and Transforming Justice (Mariame Kaba, edited by Tamara K. Nopper, 2021) - excellent collection of Kaba's abolitionist writings, drawing on years of organizing experience and wisdom.

Jade City (Fonda Lee, 2017) - look out! new favorite doorstopper fantasy series alert!

Priestdaddy (Patricia Lockwood, 2017) - about the best damn memoir I've ever read. heartbreaking and hysterical in turns, poetry the whole way through.

Batman: The Long Halloween and Batman: Dark Victory (Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale, 1996 and 1999) - it's always so exciting when something much-hyped lives up to the hype in every way. Batman at his grim and moody Batmaniest with a Gotham that’s deliciously bleak.

Station Eleven (Emily St. John Mandel, 2014) - I didn't think I'd like this book much at all, then ended up proposing on the second date. oops!

I'm Glad My Mom Died (Jennette McCurdy, 2022) - you will also be glad McCurdy's mom died, and also experience every other known human emotion along the way.

Kaikeyi (Vaishnavi Patel, 2022) - SPLENDID mythology retelling + political fantasy.

My Body (Emily Ratajkowski, 2022) - haunting haunting haunting personal essays about Ratajkowski's life as a model and subsequent alienation from her own body.

Batman: Bruce Wayne, Murderer? (Greg Rucka et al, 2002) - genuinely what can I say I'm a messy bitch and I love when the Bats are having a terrible time.

The Batman Adventures Vol. 2 #1-17 (created by Dan Slott, Ty Templeton, Rick Burchett, Terry Beatty, and Bruce Timm, 2003) - a continuation of the Batman: The Animated Series universe that frankly just fucking rules.

Little Rabbit (Alyssa Songsiridej, 2022) - a potent and erotic adult coming of age story.

The Right to Sex: Feminism in the Twenty-First Century (Amia Srinivasan, 2021) - thorny, difficult, vital essays.

Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia (Sabrina Strings, 2019) - jaw-droppingly thorough research into the role of fatpobia played and plays in the project of race-making.

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous (Ocean Vuong, 2019) - yeah so it turns out no one was REMOTELY exaggerating. Vuong really is That Good.

Hench (Natalie Zina Walschots, 2020) - wild fun with a ruthless protagonist and her sex villainous beetle man boss; what more could you ask for?

Love Your Asian Body: AIDS Activism in Los Angeles (Eric C. Wat, 2021) - learning about queer history makes me feel like I’m holding something so vibrant and fragile and precious right in my little queer hand. this book is an emotional journey in such a shining way.

Never Have I Ever (Isabel Yap, 2021) - EXCITING short story collection centered on girls having Just The Weirdest Time.

and everybody else:

fiction:

Light From Uncommon Stars (Ryka Aoki, 2021)

Our Wives Under the Sea (Julia Armfield, 2022)

A Tiny Upward Shove (Melissa Chadburn, 2022)

A Prayer for the Crown-Shy (Becky Chambers, 2022)

Disorientation (Elaine Hsieh Chou, 2022)

The Laws of the Skies (Grégoire Courtois, trans. Rhonda Mullins, 2019)

The Monster Baru Cormorant (Seth Dickinson, 2018)

The Tyrant Baru Cormorant (Seth Dickinson, 2020)

Greenland (David Santos Donaldson, 2022)

Dead Collections (Isaac Fellman, 2022)

The Halloween Moon (Joseph Fink, 2021)

A Dowry of Blood (S.T. Gibson)

Nightmare Alley (William Lindsay Gresham, 1946)

The Vegetarian (Han Kang, trans. Deborah Smith, 2015)

The Metamorphosis (Franz Kafka, trans. William Aaltonen, 1915)

Before the Coffee Gets Cold (Toshikazu Kawaguchi, trans. Geoffrey Trousselot, 2019)

Woman, Eating (Claire Kohda, 2022)

Long Division (Kiese Laymon, 2014)

Jade War (Fonda Lee, 2019)

No One is Talking About This (Patricia Lockwood, 2021)

Portrait of a Thief (Grace D. Li, 2022)

Elatsoe (Darcie Little Badger, 2020)

A Snake Falls to Earth (Darcie Little Badger, 2021)

Glitterati (Oliver K. Longmead)

Gideon the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir, 2019)

Harrow the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir, 2020)

Nona the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir, 2022)

The Memory Police (Yoko Ogawa, trans. Stephen Snyder, 2019)

Even Though I Knew the End (C.L. Polk, 2022)

100 Boyfriends (Brontez Purnell, 2021)

Flowers for the Sea (Zin E. Rocklyn, 2021)

Any Way the Wind Blows (Rainbow Rowell, 2021)

Interview with the Vampire (Anne Rice, 1976)

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (Benjamin Alire Sáenz, 2012)

Aristotle and Dante Dive Into the Waters of the World (Benjamin Alire Sáenz, 2022)

Into the Riverlands (Nghi Vo, 2022)

Siren Queen (Nghi Vo, 2022)

Strange Beasts of China (Yan Ge, trans. Jeremy Tiang, 2020)

short story collections:

The Memory Librarian: And Other Stories of Dirty Computer (Janelle Monáe, Yohanco Delgado, Eva L. Ewing, Alaya Dawn Johnson, Danny Lore, and Sheree Renée Thomas, 2022)

Walking on Cowrie Shells (Nana Nkweti, 2021)

Terminal Boredom (Izumi Suzuki, trans. Polly Barton, Sam Bett, David Boyd, Daniel Joseph, Aiko Masubuchi, and Helen O’Horan, 2021)

nonfiction:

Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity (Judith Butler, 1990)

How to Read Now (Elaine Castillo, 2022)

Playing the Whore: The Work of Sex Work (Melissa Gira Grant, 2014)

What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat (Aubrey Gordon, 2020)

White Tears/Brown Scars: How White Feminism Betrays Women of Color (Ruby Hamad, 2020)

Belly of the Beast: The Politics of Anti-Fatness as Anti-Blackness (Da'Shaun L. Harrison, 2021)

Some of My Best Friends: Essays on Lip Service (Tajja Isen, 2022)

One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter (Scaachi Koul, 2017)

How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America (Revised Edition) (Kiese Laymon, 2020)

Sister Outsider (Audre Lorde, 1984)

Conversations with People Who Hate Me: 12 Lessons I Learned from Talking to Internet Strangers (Dylan Marron, 2022)

Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism (Amanda Montell, 2021)

World of Wonders: In Praise of Fireflies, Whale Sharks, and Other Astonishments (Aimee Nezhukumatathil)

Histories of the Transgender Child (Jules Gill-Peterson, published as Julian Gill-Peterson, 2018)

Yoke: My Yoga of Self-Acceptance (Jessamyn Stanley, 2021)

A Queer History of Fashion: From the Closet to the Catwalk (edited by Valerie Steele, 2013)

Transgender History: The Roots of Today's Revolution (Revised Edition) (Susan Stryker, 2008)

The End of Policing (Alex S. Vitale, 2017)

The Trouble With Normal: Sex, Politics, and the Ethics of Queer Life (Michael Warner, 1999)

Read My Lips: Sexual Subversions and the End of Gender (Riki Wilchins, published as Riki Anne Wilchins, 1997)

poetry:

Short Talks (Anne Carson, 1992)

Content Warning: Everything (Akwaeke Emezi, 2022)

Prelude to Bruise (Saeed Jones, 2014)

Alive at the End of the World (Saeed Jones, 2022)

Bright Dead Things (Ada Limón, 2015)

Motherland Fatherland Homelandsexuals (Patricia Lockwood, 2014)

Nature Poem (Tommy Pico, 2017)

Night Sky with Exit Wounds (Ocean Vuong, 2016)

Time Is a Mother (Ocean Vuong, 2022)

comics:

Batman: One Bad Day - Mr. Freeze (Gerry Duggan, Matteo Scalera, and Dave Stewart, 2022)

Spandex - Fast and Hard (Martin Eden, 2012)

Harley Quinn: The Animated Series: The Eat. Bang! Kill. Tour (Tee Franklin, Max Sarin, and Marissa Louise, 2022)

Batman: Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? (Neil Gaiman and Andy Kubert, 2009)

The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes (Neil Gaiman, Sam Keith, Mike Dringenberg, and Malcom Jones III, 1988)

The Sandman: In the Doll's House (Neil Gaiman, Michael Zulli, Mike Dringenberg, Chris Bachalo, Malcolm Jones III, and Steve Parkhouse, 1989)

The Sandman: Dream Country (Neil Gaiman, Kelley Jones, Malcolm Jones III, Colleen Doran, and Charles Vess, 1991)

The Sandman: Season of Mists (Neil Gaiman, Kelley Jones, Malcom Jones III, Mike Dringenberg, Matt Wagner, P. Craig Russell, George Pratt, and Dick Giordano, 1992)

The Sandman: A Game of You (Neil Gaiman, Shawn McManus, Colleen Doran, Bryan Talbot, Stan Woch, and George Pratt, 1993)

Run, Riddler, Run (Gerard Jones and Mark Badger, 1992)

Catwoman: When in Rome (Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale, 2005)

Batman: Year One (Frank Miller and David Mazzicchello, 1986)

Batman: One Bad Day - Penguin (John Ridley, Giuseppe Camuncoli, Cam Smith, and Arif Prianto, 2022)

Batman: Bruce Wayne - Fugitive (Greg Rucka et al, 2002)

Batman: One Bad Day - Two-Face (Mariko Tamaki, Jaiver Fernandez, and Jordie Bellaire, 2022)

Batman & Robin Eternal Vol 1 & Vol 2 (James Tynion IV and Scott Snyder, 2015 and 2016)

Batman: Their Dark Designs (James Tynion IV, Guillem March, and Tomeu Morey, 2020)

The Joker War Saga (James Tynion IV and Jorge Jiménez, 2021)

Papergirls Vol. 1-6 (Brian K. Vaughan and Cliff Chiang, 2016-2019)

Real Hero Shit (Kendra Wells, 2022)

Poison Ivy #1-6 (G. Willow Wilson and Marcio Takara, 2022)

and some gaming guides!

Monster of the Week (Michael Sands, 2012) - great game. so cool. cannot wait to actually play it someday.

Thirsty Sword Lesbians (April Kit Walsh, 2021)

special shame zone because I want you to know how bad this sucked, do not read this:

Rethinking Sex: A Provocation (Christine Emba, 2022). patronizing, puritanical, reductive, painfully cisheteronormative. weirdly afraid of group sex. not actually that provocative, just aggressively Catholic.

and last but most certainly least, a comic that I want to remind you all fucking sucked just one more time before the year is done.

Batman: One Bad Day - The Riddler (Tom King and Mitch Gerads, 2022)

Tom King, go fuck yourself. Mitch is cool though, the art slapped.

[i-cant-even-function]

Delivery for Enid Sinclair

A little 2am fic I threw together based on a very sparse prompt from my girlfriend. I don't know proper formatting etiquette on Tumblr so I hope this works out.

Spoilers for Wednesday (2022). Like, right off the bat. Don't even read the second sentence if you haven't finished it yet. Seriously.

Summary: Enid is worried Wednesday left for summer break already, but Wednesday has just been busy.

Word count: 1954

minor divergence from canon where they stayed for the rest of the school year, I guess

~~~~~~~~

Honestly, Enid was glad the school year was over. After a disastrous and taxing rollercoaster of a social life followed immediately by a centuries old white supremacist returning from the dead thirsting for genocide and a violent transition into her own as a fully fledged werewolf only to immediately fight for her life against a rampaging Hyde, she was ready for some relative peace and quiet on the sunny beaches of California. She was excited to return to her brightly furnished room at home with the rest of her stuffed animal collection, see her youngest siblings, and soak in the sweet summer rays while exploring the ever changing streets of her hometown, but the cons weighed heavily on her as well. Being home meant being unable to avoid the increasing expectations of her family (No mom, i'm not competing in the werewolf games at the family picnic. Because I don't enjoy rolling around in the mud and ripping the heads off wild animals, that's why), being away from her motley crew of friends, and…well, not being able to see her for an entire summer.

Enid looked around her attic double. Her side of the room was still, frankly, a wreck. It seemed that no matter how much she stuffed into her steamer trunks, there was another stack of jackets or an unreasonably warm quilt to pack away. Wednesday’s side of the room was, in all ways, the opposite. Her luggage was uniformly stacked by her bed, as neat and composed as she was. Where Enid’s side was still draped with every color of the rainbow, Wednesday’s sparse, monochromatic decorations were cleared from every surface she had deemed worthy of their placement. Enid hadn’t even seen her pack. It seemed as if overnight her roommate simply evaporated, leaving only a few trunks and boxes as condensation. Even Thing was noticeably absent. Though she hadn’t caught onto this being the reason why, Enid’s departure from Nevermore was considerably hampered by the distress of Wednesday possibly leaving without saying goodbye. Had she already been picked up, leaving her things to be collected by her odd, zombie-esq butler ? Sure, she had slept in till 11, but after all they’d been through this year Enid thought she meant a little more to her misanthropic roommate.

“I don’t even know if she wants to fill out next year’s housing form together…” She muttered sadly to a stuffed unicorn, holding it by its little chubby cheeks.

“It’s okay Enid” She said in a ridiculous voice, bouncing the doll around as if alive. “You know how she is. I bet she left you a trail of clues to solve that will spell out how she feels about you in no unclear terms”

She scoffed, packing the unicorn away. ‘No unclear terms’ was clearly a sin in the Addams’ household. Wednesday’s vernacular was strictly Victorian-era serial killer. Everything she said was a cutting remark, a blade made of dictionary definitions and honed with 16 years of sarcasm. She had seen teachers and peers alike grow increasingly frustrated while verbally fencing with her, and as someone who valued honesty, as someone who valued kindness, as someone who valued integrity…

…well, she was unwittingly enamored by it. When she had looked up “indelible” in the dictionary, she spent that whole night staring at the ceiling, listening to Wednesday’s nearly imperceptible breathing, thinking about it. Thinking about her. The mark you have left on me is indelible. God, she couldn’t have dreamed of better poetry.

Which is perhaps why she felt so miserable that she was missing. That and the fact that if she didn’t see Wednesday soon, they wouldn’t see each other for months. Wednesday didn’t even have a phone, so they wouldn’t be able to text or call or facetime, and Enid wouldn’t be able to stalk her on Instagram or anything !

She uses her typewriter a lot though. You could send each other letters, sealed with wax and a kiss, like sappho and her friend~

Enid shook her head, clearing the blush she felt rising to her cheeks and stuffing some skirts and leggings into her already cramped trunks. It would probably fit better if she folded them, but she was in no mood, dammit !

She had fully dismantled her decorations and almost finished packing the last of her clothes when she heard the door open and quickly shut behind her. She whipped around and was quite surprised to see no one there until her eyes drifted down and she spotted Thing tapping happily on the floorboards.

“Oh. My. GOD.” She squealed at the sight of him. He was wearing the cutest little delivery man hat, perfectly adorned on his wrist-stump, and had several silver rings on his fingers. Around his…neck ? I guess…was a small card on a gold ribbon. Enid got down low on her haunches as he scampered up to her, tapping out his message.

“A delivery ? for me ??” Enid could barely contain her delight at the little man’s cute outfit, but brought herself to her senses when he (with great difficulty) tapped the card tied to him. She carefully removed it and flipped it over.

To Enid Sinclair: May these flowers remind you of the death and destruction we caused together as they wilt and die despite whatever futile attempts are made to preserve them.

-Wednesday Friday Addams

“Flowers !?” Enid scanned around eagerly for Thing’s delivery, but he tapped furiously on the ground to reclaim her attention and pointed at the door. She could barely contain herself as she rushed across the room and yanked open the door, expecting a little arrangement placed on the ground. Instead, she found herself looking at a very familiar pair of black platforms. She followed them up until they all but disappeared behind an enormous vase filled with a carefully crafted bouquet. Alternating black and white flowers of a species which she could not name encircled a marvelous center of pink roses. Hidden behind the spectacle came a beautifully monotone voice.

“We would have been more timely, but Thing insisted on getting dressed up.”

Enid was visibly shaking. She carefully took the vase from the pale hands that carried it, revealing Wednesday Addams, looking anywhere except for at Enid. She was speechless as she stepped to the side, allowing her thematic opposite to enter the room. They stood like that, a few feet apart in silence, for several agonizing seconds. Finally, Wednesday looked up from the floor.

“You are crying. Why ? I thought you liked…stuff like this.”

Enid shook her head, setting down the flowers and wiping the long sleeves of her thneed-like sweater across her eyes.

“I do, I do, I swear, I just…” She petered out with a sniffle, overcome with a slurry of emotions. 

Wednesday Addams hadn’t left her behind. In fact, she got Enid a present. Not only did she get her a present, she got her a present she thought Enid would like. Not only did she think Enid would like it, it was a beautiful bouquet of subtext laden flowers. Enid felt like she was going to explode.

“I can get different ones, I'm sure the florist is still suitably threatened. I can be back within the hour. Don’t leave.”

Wednesday turned on her heel for the door, but Enid caught her wrist as she reached for the knob.

“No ! No please, just let me get my shit together. I…I love them so much, you don’t even know.” She let out a wet laugh, getting choked up on the last several months of pining. Wednesday looked up down at the hand holding her wrist, then up at the blonde. Her eyes were impossible to meet, but Enid did it anyway. They were absolutely gorgeous, and she could swear that she could see the cogs turning in Wednesday’s head as she tried to navigate such a deeply human interaction.

“Would…would it, perchance, be helpful, if…” Wednesday let out a little sigh, steeling herself. “Would you. Like a hug. From me.”

Enid nodded furiously, nearly bursting out in tears once more. She literally couldn't even as she draped her arms around the shorter girl’s shoulders and squeezed. Wednesday was stiff in her embrace, her arms awkwardly placed around Enid’s back, but she relaxed as the hug lengthened. Enid could feel Wednesday press her face into her chest, resting her forehead on Enid’s shoulder, and those pale hands found purchase in the fuzzy pink sweater. This time, there was no blood. No open wounds from knives or claws. No adrenaline from defying death. No spectating masses. Just them.

“Okay that’s enough.”

They separated, Enid taking a respectful step back, but found that Wednesday had let her hand retain its grip on Enid’s. 

“Thank you Wednesday, this really means a lot to me.”

Wednesday looked uncomfortable, looking at the ground once more, scanning for something to focus on. Enid could only look at her with the softest of smiles.

“You…don’t have to hold my hand if you don’t want to. I’m okay, really, just moved.”

“No.” Wednesday said stiffly. “I want to want this. This is both research and experimentation, and I’ve already procrastinated it long enough, so this is what we’re doing. For now.”

Enid couldn’t help but laugh at her determination. Her hand was honestly cold and a little clammy, but it was a nice, sincere sort of clammy.

“Well I like it. A lot, actually. But there’s no rush, yaknow. We could just sorta take it slow, see what works ?”

Wednesday took a step forward, leashing Enid closer with what quickly became an iron grip. It felt like Enid blinked and Wednesday had closed the gap between them, looking up at her with those stupid, beautiful, inquiring eyes. They were scanning her, reading every inch of Enid’s face as she quickly became a bright red. With her other hand, Wednesday reached up and traced the scars on her face from her fight with the Hyde. The fight to protect her.

“Right. Slow.”

Enid was going to faint. She had gone from believing she was but a memory Wednesday had left behind to kissing her softly in the room they had shared all year. It felt as though the clouds had parted and a beam of celestial light was shining on them through the spider webbed window at the other end of the room. Time stood still, not daring to interrupt the inscrutable Wednesday Addams as she explored this unknown territory, and yet it was still over too soon.

“Interesting.” She said as she came down off her tiptoes. Enid was downright woozy as Wednesday no longer anchored her to the spot.

“Jeepers…” She said dreamily. After kissing someone who regularly used chapstick, it made sense why her kisses with Ajax had needed so much extra spice. She regained her footing, if not her composure, and addressed the Addams.

“So, does this mean- HEY” 

Wednesday was writing something down in a black leather notebook. Enid planted her fists firmly on her hips, taking on a scolding tone that was a little too much like her mothers.

“Are you taking NOTES !? Do NOT tell me this was just for your book !”

Wednesday snapped the notebook shut, wrapping the elastic around it to keep it closed.

“Of course I'm taking notes. What part of research and experimentation was unclear. And it’s obviously not for my book, Viper would never be so easily distracted by a love interest.”

Enid was about to fire back a retort, but something tripped her up.

“Love interest ?”

Wednesday nodded and took a slip of paper from her pocket. She held it out to Enid, revealing her new phone number.

“If that is what you would like to be.”

[santacoppelia]

Do you have any favorite Good Omens fics you would recommend, or have you written any?

Hi there!!!

Oh, dear, I have A TON! I'm not sure if they would be "new", but here I go, nonetheless. I read a lot of AU fics (and I'm writing one), so I hope it's not a pet peeve of yours! I'll try to limit myself and not recommend things that I have seen recommended a lot (like "Factory Settings", "the therapy one with the impossibly long name" LOL, "Slow Show", "Oopsie Omens"... I'll make a couple of exceptions, tho). I also read a lot of WIP's, love angst, hurt/comfort and fluff, and prefer skipping over smut (Not a against it per se, love sexy times with feelings), so my selection is... Very particular. Here it goes!!

Demon and Angel Professors: I adore this series of short fics. There are 200 of them in the collection, they all are 666 words long, and both the guys and the new characters are absolutely endearing. The diversity of the cast was a welcome addition.

Listen, Will You Learn To Hear Me From Afar?: This one is short, a little sad but very, very sweet. Aziraphale starts receiving flowers and poems every three years, after Crowley disappears in Edinburgh. I loved the poetry selection.

Stalwart Sun, Wily Moon: Probably, my first AU and the one that started it all. I'm pretty sure this is one of the "everyone and their grannies have already read this", but I adore the relationships, the way the characters transformed by entering this universe (Crowley being a fantastic art thief with a magnificent taste for clothes was something I never knew I needed). I would absolutely watch an adaptation of this fic to the screens.

Too Wise To Woo Peaceably: This one is, probably, another one of the "everyone has read this fic and I don't care", but I really feel deeply about it and its author. It was a tour the force, with daily posting and the author reading and answering the comments EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. Feral But Fluffy brought me single-handedly into being an active participant in this fandom instead of just lurking in the corners. It's a fantastic continuation from the ending of Season 2, with a lot of angst, hurt, laugh and comfort. And Muriel rings absolutely true in here.

Give A Man A Mask: Another one by Feral! This one is a beautiful seduction game, taking Venice and a Masquerade as the background. Sexy, exciting, and hurtful at the same time.

Postcards From Paris: I find myself absolutely enraptured by the AUs created by Ghostrat (and their illustrations!! I use his AU Streamer!Crowley as my laptop wallpaper), but this one is very close to my heart. One lonely lawyer starts receiving postcards addressed to the previous tenant, signed by one AZF. The concept and execution are lovely. His Streamers AU is also very funny, and the Professors AU (Mon Horrible Cheri) is one of the "must reads with a lot of hits that recommends by itself".

Husband Material: This AU has made me laugh A LOT. Crowley is a wedding planner... And he has to plan the wedding of "the one who got away", Aziraphale. It is still a WIP, and it lights my day whenever it appears in my inbox.

Shepherds of the Damned: an after S2 work, the Crowley recovery arc in this fic had my heart leaping. It is also gripping and full with angst and action. A very noble S3, if you ask me.

Symphony of Second Chances: in this AU, Crowley is a drummer, recovering from a terrible shoulder injury and trying to get back to his place in the orchestra. Aziraphale is the visiting director for the next season... And they are absolutely smitten with each other. A lot of hurt and the sweetest comfort ever (it made me want an Aziraphale in my life more than ever). Still a WIP.

The Anon Before Christmas: This fic was pure happiness and tooth rotting fluff, ideal for December, with a warm cup of cocoa. They are humans and have the nicest group of friends one can ever imagine... But they loathe each other. Of course, one meddling Anathema makes sure to make Crowley Aziraphale's Secret Santa.

To Love The Stars Too Fondly: Another fantastic post S2 fic, filled with love and angst and adventure and all the right things to make it a gripping read, and a GREAT ending. Another take that could be a satisfying alternate canon.

Because We Are Carying The Fire: A horror AU! Aziraphale is a professor with a PhD in parapsychology, and one day he receives a mysterious book. Weird things happen, and he looks for the help of Crowley, a podcaster and self appointed demon expert. It is a WIP, and it really delivers. It is romantic and terrifying at the same time.

And my works!

I've written a short fic, Rebellion, speculating with the causes of The Starmaker's Fall. It came from a prompt imagining "what if rebel angels had been creating alternative lifeforms in the Universe", and it turned slightly dark (because I'm me). I'm also writing and publishing a longer fic, Under The Fold, an AU where AZ Fell and AJ Crowley are journalists who made an exposé that put them in danger and where they will have to use all of their researching abilities to bring justice (and avoid dangers). I've already written 2/3 of it, and half of it is already up, if you feel like reading it!

I enjoyed answering this entirely TOO MUCH. Take all this reading suggestions!

[huxloween]

Hi, this will be the first huxloween I plan on participating in, and I have just a couple of questions I couldn't find the answers to in your faq. One, for the prompt submit, do we simply send in ideas for the individual day's prompts through your askbox or is it a different process? Second of all, is there a discord or similar for this event? Very excited to be participating this year!

Hello!

I'm so glad to hear you're excited for Huxloween, it's definitely one of my favourite events!

To submit a prompt you just have to send us a message here on tumblr using our inbox, or you can submit ideas to our twitter account (@huxloween on twitter). The prompts do not have to be complicated or fully-fleshed out ideas, often people just submit the skeleton (no pun intended) of an idea (example: kylo and hux wear the same costume, or kylo and hux go to a haunted house) or simple one-word prompts (example: fairies and fae, cryptids, haunted houses, ghosts, vampires, werewolves).

We'll take all the prompts and try to group them together by theme and create a calendar of ideas/prompts that we'll release on October 1st and then everyone just goes for it! You can write something, make art, make mood boards, do photoshoots, poetry, build lego or other model-type dioramas, or do needlepoint/knitting/fabric arts. You can do as many or as few of the prompts as you want and you don't have to wait for a specific day to get started - if you jump ahead, we might just wait to reblog the final work until that prompt's day but EVERYTHING will be reblogged or retweeted. We'll also have an AO3 collection set up by October 1st.

There's no discord channel as far as I know, people might have informal discussions about huxloween on already established channels but we don't have chat parties or check-ins - this is a relaxed, no-pressure event. We're on twitter as @huxloween and both mods are on twitter, there's also a Kylux community on Blue Sky.

Have fun with the event, get thinking of ideas and submit as much as you want! When you post final works, we just ask that you make sure to @ us on tumblr, sometimes just using the hashtag makes things slip through the cracks and we don't see them. Hope this helps!

Marlon

[torchwoodfanfests]

◭ By popular demand, we present our very first fan fest chosen by the fandom itself: The 2023 Torchwood Rarepair Fest! ◮

The people have spoken and we have listened. Here is your choice, the majority vote: the 2023 Torchwood Rarepair Fest! 

The theme this time is any and all rare pairings! 

This means any pairings other than the most common ones: Jack/Ianto, Tosh/Owen and Gwen/Rhys. 

Pairings that appeared in canon outside these three are included, such as Tosh/Mary, Ianto/Lisa or Gwen/Owen, to name a few. Poly ships that include any of the three most common pairings are also accepted and encouraged! For example: Jack/Ianto/Gwen, Tosh dating both Owen and Tommy, an all-team polycule where each of them is involved with one or more of the others but they’re not all together, or a polycule where they all are together, all fall under rarepairs!

We are thrilled to let you guys know that we will be collabing with the fantastic @thetorchwoodarchive​ for this fest! 

The Torchwood Archive’s mods reached out to us with the brilliant proposal that  we collaborate on this fest, and we were very excited to accept! They will be making a Rarepair Fic Rec List to right alongside our fest, so be sure to keep your eyes open for that! 👀✨

This fest will run from February 26th to April 14th 2023!

This fest doesn’t require signing up. All you have to do is create a fanwork with a rarepair (or more than one :)) and submit it to us at any point up to April 14th 2023. (Please remember to add any relevant content warnings!)

We don’t have a prompt list this time as the theme is pretty straightforward. Any fanwork that includes a rarepair will do!

All types of fanworks are accepted for this fest, with the usual requirements:  the minimum word count for writing is 500 words (fic, meta, not!fic, and headcanons; poetry is exempt from this requirement), 30 seconds is the minimum length for videos, and 3-songs plus a short explanation for why you picked each song is the minimum for music playlists. If you have an idea for a fanwork that seems unconventional or less common, send us an ask! We welcome all types of content for this fest and we will be happy to hear from you :)

As usual, we’ll have an ao3 collection for this fest.

All links will be in the notes.

If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to send us an ask!

[runtpig]

soft asks by sunnysideanon

i treat ask games like surveys, we all know this.

what song makes you feel better?

who listens to music to feel better?

what’s your feel-good movie?

i dont watch movies qwq im sorry these are rough answers

what’s your favorite candle scent?

i usually like winter fruit smells. so plums, pomegranates, grape, deep and rummy sorta scents. i also like rich sweet ones, resin-y smells. i like a nice light floral mix (iris, jasmine, lily, rose) on cleaning days.

what flower would you like to be given?

lillies. any lillies, but i like madonna lillies

who do you feel most you around?

my partner system, but specifically trent. he is me, and ive never felt it more than when we're together. my brothers are a close second.

say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical)

i have gold rings around my pupils i just noticed the other day. they're gorgeous and i have no idea where i got them from genetically-- maybe my mother. she has gold in her green eyes. i'm glad i got something from her eyes, i'm jealous of them. i have insanely enviable hair. my nails are elegant... also enviable. im wicked talented and sharp, nobody can create the way i can-- BITCH???? ok one of my favorite songs paused randomly that was a whole experience. answer cancelled next question

what color brings you peace?

pale green. this isn't bad, though.

what calms you down?

being alone in my own space. writing music/poetry. having a clean space. music-- hey, i guess that first question was onto smth

what’s something you’re excited for?

grocery run tomorrow, haircut sometime this week. yay.

what’s your ideal date?

taking turns spitting vodka into each others mouths and banging our skulls together til we pass out

how are you?

im fine! a lot of excess energy strangely which is funny b/c i haven't had any caffiene today. that reminds me i need to add energy drinks to my grocery list. eeeeeeee also feeling sappy. in love. so in love hehe

what’s your comfort food?

probably any kind of salad theyre very safe foods

favorite feel-good show?

i dont dream of watching televi-- interview with the vampire.

fairy lights or LED lights?

fairy lights. LED lights make me anxious to look at but now Everyone has them so what do i know

do you still love stuffed animals?

yes.

most important thing in your life?

myself, but secondly, my fiance.

what do you want most in the world right now?

a kiss.

if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

don't smoke cigarettes and don't tell that girl everything.

what would you say to your future self?

keep doing it, even if it's uncomfortable. trust your gut, not your body.

favorite piece of clothing?

my black turtleneck or my fur coat.

what’s something you do to de-stress?

bounce and moan on it

what’s the best personal gift someone could give you (playlist, homemade card, etc.)

moneyyyy!!! oh, personal. money from their personal bank account!!! (a card. i collect those.)

what movie would you want to live in?

childs play. id fuck that doll and save the little boy JFIOWEJFE

which character would you want to be?

... oh myself isnt an option ok. then id wanna be in clueless and be cher. id like to be rich

hugs or hand-holding?

hugs. i need my hands for other things but i can be hugged forever

morning, afternoon or night?

ALL OF THEM ALL OF THE TIME

what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?

horses, dirt roads, hotel rooms, cigarette smoke.

[totowlff]

chapter nineteen — attention

➝ toto seems distracted, and elisabeth can’t help but feel like he’s ignoring her. she comes up with a plan to get his attention.

➝ word count: 6,2k

➝ warnings: smut

AUGUST, 2015

Walking through the paddock at Spa-Francorchamps, Elisabeth was excited.

She was back in action, and felt fully recharged.

After six intense months of travel, meetings and racing, the Formula 1 summer break was a welcome time for her to disconnect from work, like her parents, brothers and friends always asked her to. However, she couldn’t go long without a good challenge.

And in those weeks of rest, she had faced two.

Shortly after the race in Hungary, Elisabeth and Toto returned to England together to sort out some backlog at the factory before leaving, and it was evident that from the moment they stepped onto the private jet that she wasn't the person most excited for the two-week break.

— Are you okay, dear? — she asked, looking up from her copy of ‘The Fault In Our Stars’. She’d seen the book in Rosa’s backpack on one of the weekends she’d spent with the kids and got curious about it. After asking some questions about it, Elisabeth decided to buy and read it, in order to have something to talk about with Rosa. 

— Yes, Liesl. Why do you ask?

— You look like you’re going to jump out of your chair at any moment — she said as she slipped a bookmark in between the pages of Augustus and Hazel’s visit to the Anne Frank House, and closed the book.

— I’m looking forward to our trip. It’s our first trip together.

She giggled.

— You say that like we don’t live on planes and in hotels.

— You know what I mean — he chuckled.

— I don’t, Toto — Elisabeth said, placing the book on the seat next to her — Explain it to me.

— I mean… Our first trip for fun. You, me, the kids, in a villa in Porto Cervo. No particular time to wake up in the morning, no meetings, no business. Only us.

She smiled.

— I’m excited too. It will be an unforgettable summer.

And she were right.

The two weeks they spent in Sardinia seemed to have come straight from a dream. With the sun shining in the clear sky of the Italian coast, they stayed in a villa in northeast Sardinia. There wasn’t a day where they were bored, either — if they weren’t snorkeling in the crystal clear waters or taking a boat ride, they were relaxing on one of the practically deserted white sand beaches.

It was in those quiet moments that she found herself growing closer to Benedict and Rosa. They seemed to be getting more comfortable with having her around — they were no longer so reserved and shy, like the first few times she’d met them. Now, their conversations together were happy, full of laughter and smiles that filled her heart with love.

“It was such a nice vacation”, she thought, waving at a reporter who passed her in front of the Red Bull Racing’s motorhome. However, the man next to Elisabeth would use a word other than “nice” to describe his summer break.

Her father, who was walking beside her, had spent what should have been a relaxing two weeks studying the W06 data collected during the first ten Grands Prix. Not even a trip to the family’s home on the Spanish island of Ibiza had taken Niki’s focus off his ideas to perfect the car for the second half of the season.

— You’re excited — her father muttered.

— Of course I am! I missed the paddock — Elisabeth replied, smiling.

Niki shook his head.

— You, missing this mess? — he said, a smile on his face. It was ironic for her to say so considering her previous aversion to the circus that was Formula 1 in her very early months involved in the sport. However, there was poetry to the madness.

“Or I’m officially crazy”, she thought, looking at her father.

— So, you see what I’ve become because of you — she replied, the shutter clicks of the cameras that accompanied them becoming more insistent, recording almost every step they took down the paddock.

Her father laughed, turning into the Mercedes garage. Inside, she found the usual hustle and bustle, with mechanics making adjustments to the car, engineers and drivers watching the screens mounted in the middle of the garage. At the far end of the Engineering Station, standing next to Toto, was a familiar figure, his curly hair rumpled by his black cap.

It was her brother.

— Mathias — she exclaimed, enveloping him in a tight hug as she approached — How are you?

— Hi, Elschen — he replied, while she placed her lips on his cheek — I’m fine. How are you?

— Everything’s good. How was the summer?

— Hectic. Lenny is walking now and hasn’t stopped running around for a second, Claire is going crazy trying to make the house completely safe for him — he said, laughing — It looks like you got some sun on yours?

He was looking at her shoulder, exposed by the neckline of the dress she was wearing. Pale stripes of where her bikini had been contrasted with her tan. It was a reminder of her days in the Italian sunshine.

— Let’s say I finally disconnected from work — she said with a grin.

— Disconnected a bit too much for my liking — Niki butted in, putting his hands in the pockets of his jeans — Trying to get ahold of you these past two weeks has been a challenge.

Elisabeth raised an eyebrow.

— Weren’t you the one telling me I should rest more?

Her father laughed.

— Rest, not disappear. Not just you, but Toto too. Were you in the same place, by chance?

She felt like she had been punched in the stomach. Elisabeth turned to the team principal with a smile, eyes pleading for help.

— I spent the break with Ben and Rosi in Portofino, Niki. They wouldn’t even let me think about picking up my phone. I could only reply to messages while they were sleeping. — Toto said, laughing.

Aside from the fact that he had said Portofino, which was one of the options they had considered before choosing Porto Cervo to take their summer vacation, everything he said was true. Benedict and Rosa had set a tight leash on them, preventing both of them from using their cell phones. Even taking pictures became a challenge — the moment either one of them would take their phones out of their pockets or bags, they would glare at them in disapproval.

The only time they were able to respond to messages was when the kids slept, exhausted after a day exploring the Sardinian coast.

— And you, Elschen? — Mathias asked, his expression carrying an air of curiosity.

— I was in Sardinia.

— By yourself? — Niki asked.

— Yes — she lied.

— Why didn’t you come with us to Ibiza? — Mathias asked, crossing his arms. The inquisitive gaze was causing Elisabeth to get anxious.

— I just needed some time for myself, that’s all.

— And if I may say so, it did you a lot of good, Liesl — Toto said, appearing beside her with a mischievous grin on his face. Not even her best scolding look made him stop talking — You seem so much more relaxed. Besides, it looks like you got some sun.

— You too, Toto — she replied, before looking at the back of his neck and removing a piece of peeling skin  — Too bad your tan didn’t turn out.

Niki and Mathias chuckled, while Toto gave her a knowing look. Even with her best efforts to keep everyone’s skin well protected from the blazing sun on Costa Smeralda, it only took one afternoon of distraction before she spent the night smearing aftersun lotion on Toto’s back, his groans of pain being accompanied by her laughter, as well as her delicate kisses on his burned skin.

— Well, while you guys were busy getting a tan, I was looking into the aero team’s solutions — Niki said, pointing with a thumb at Lewis’s W06, which was behind him.

— Did anything change in the car? — Elisabeth asked.

— Yes, Mauslein. Mike, Jarrod, and I came up with a new, spoon-shaped rear wing.

She approached the car, eyeing the rear wing. It was different, with curved flaps that were indeed reminiscent of a spoon.

— Why the change?

— We were looking for a way to balance drag and downforce on the high-speed tracks — Toto said, behind her — We tried to do it in Monaco by tweaking the monkey seat and got pretty satisfying results.

Elisabeth raised an eyebrow at him.

— What is a monkey seat?

The three men laughed. Elisabeth felt her face redden with embarrassment. She hated it when that happened.

— It’s this part here, Elschen — her brother said as he walked past her, touching an exposed carbon structure just below the rear wing.

— It wouldn’t be enough to have downforce here in Spa — her father continued — The drag would be too much and we would lose a lot on the straights, so the aero guys and I started talking about solutions for the faster tracks ahead.

— In this case, here and Monza — Toto added.

— Exactly. So, while I was watching some videos from other races here in Spa, specifically the 2004 race, when Räikkönen won with the McLaren MP4-19B. I noticed something different in the wing of his car, so I called Mike and told him and discussed it with him.

— Were you watching old races while you were in Ibiza? — she looked at her father, indignant.

— I already told you, Elisabeth, someone needs to work while the rest of you are idle.

She shook her head.

— So you bothered Jarrod about it in the middle of summer break?

— Well, I tried calling Toto, but apparently his kids wouldn’t allow interruptions.

— Rightly so — she muttered under her breath. It earned her a reproachful look from her father.

— So, then, I decided to go directly to the aerodynamics guys. — Niki said, explaining his reasoning — My point is that the curve in the lower flap generates more downforce in the centerline of the car, at the same time it cuts the drag and reduces the vortices originating from the top of the rear wing endplates. It should give us the balance we were looking for between downforce and drag.

Elisabeth blinked. She felt like her dad was speaking an entirely different language. Of course, being there among the mechanics and engineers, she understood what some words meant, but so much technical jargon didn’t make any sense to her. After all was said and done, she still didn’t understand why a curved wing would make a bigger difference to the car’s speed in only two circuits in the whole world. 

However, she smiled.

— The tests done in the wind tunnel last week were very promising, so after talking to the engineers and Lewis and Nico, we chose to bring this wing package here this week.

— Isn’t it risky, dad? — Mathias asked, crossing his arms.

— Well, yesterday the car behaved very well with the changes.

— Didn’t Nico spin out yesterday? — Elisabeth asked, raising an eyebrow.

— The tire blew out — she heard a voice say beside her, making her jump. She turned her head to the side and saw Nico, who had a mischievous smile on his face — How are you, Elisabeth?

— Everything’s great, Nico — she replied, greeting him with a kiss on the cheek — Thanks for the information.

— No problem — the man smiled, placing his hand on the curve of her spine casually — Actually, I’m thinking about it even now.

— What do you mean by that? — Toto asked, staring at his driver, coldly.

— The mechanics said it was an external cut that caused the tire to go — Nico explained — It’s just not the first time this season this has happened. Honestly, it doesn’t make any sense since there was no debris on the track.

— Do you have any theories? — Mathias asked.

— I still think that Pirelli got something wrong in the design of the structure of the compounds. I even talked to Tony about it. We decided we need to be more cautious at pit stops when using used tires instead of new ones.

— That’s not good — Elisabeth said, looking at the driver. She always rooted a little more for Lewis than she did for Nico, but she couldn’t deny his importance to the success of the team as a whole. In the end, what mattered were the results that both cars produced.

— Indeed — he smiled at her, before looking at the others present — But we’ll figure it out. We always figure it out, don’t we, Toto?

— Always, Nico — the team principal replied, a small smile on his face — But, on that note, shouldn’t you be getting ready?

The driver glanced toward his side of the garage, where mechanics were huddled around his car, making the final adjustments for free practice.

— I still have ten minutes, Toto — Nico smiled, running a hand through his blond hair.

— I think you’d better go check it out. We don’t want any problems later on qualifying.

— Well, you’re the boss — the driver said, removing his hand from her back — I’ll go there then.

— Good luck, Nico — she replied, with a friendly smile.

The man gave Elisabeth an affirmative thumbs up before turning his back and heading towards the left side of the garage. After Nico walked away, the conversation turned back to the spoon-shaped wing, with Niki explaining about the data that had been collected the day before, even going so far as to call Lewis to briefly comment with him on his impressions.

However, as hard as Elisabeth tried to understand what everyone was discussing, she was completely lost. Slowly approaching Toto, she nudged him. He looked at her and smiled.

— What is a vortex? — she asked softly.

— It’s the spiraling movement of air around an axis.

Elisabeth stared at him, waiting for him to continue to explain further, maybe in words a little clearer than the ones he’d just used. However, he turned his attention back to her father, completely ignoring her. “What the fuck”, she thought, pursing her lips.

Free practice results were not surprising — Lewis led the session after completing 15 laps. His best time was 1'48’‘984, more than half a second ahead of Nico, who had to settle for second, having scored 1'49’'482.

— The new wing idea was brilliant, Niki — Toto said, rising from his chair with a smile on his face. Elisabeth expected him to turn to her and greet her with a hug, as he always did after good sessions. However, the team principal’s attention was on her father, who hugged him warmly — We have everything for a front row lockout later.

— And we’ll make it, I’m sure — Niki replied, patting Toto on the shoulder — Want to have lunch now?

— No, we have the debrief now — he replied, setting his silver headphones on the table — That way everyone is free until the qualifying session. Is that a problem for you, Niki?

— No, let’s go — her father replied — See you later, Mauslein.

— See you later, Elisabeth — Toto said, walking out the back of the garage with Niki on his heels.

She felt strange about the whole situation. While she was happy to see them interacting, she couldn’t help but feel left out. Was it because of the conversation they had earlier? “Shouldn’t I have talked about his sunburn?”, she wondered, her gaze lost on the screen in front of her, which was replaying Lewis’s practice runs.

— Elisabeth — she heard someone say behind her — Do you want to have lunch with me?

Looking over her shoulder, she saw Mathias smiling at her. She set her headphones on the table and took a deep breath. “I’m imagining things”, she thought, walking toward the back of the garage to meet her brother.

Elisabeth had hoped that, by the time she got back from lunch, her mood would have improved. However, as she sat in the chair just behind the Engineering Station, she had no idea what was going on in qualifying. She couldn’t focus. She was so angry. 

Her brother was sitting in a chair at the Engineering Station, next to her father and Toto. The three of them were talking excitedly about the Lewis and Nico’s results, who had left the garage for Q1 on medium tires, unlike the rest of the grid that used softs.

— I think our biggest concern will be Valtteri — she heard Toto say, pointing his finger at the Finn’s name on the screen — He managed the medium tires very well this session.

— Are Nico and Lewis going to be on mediums? — Mathias asked, his eyes fixed on the numbers and names she had taken so long to understand at first.

— So far, yes. Let’s see if we can save the softs for Q3 — the team principal replied, giving her brother a smile. A smile much like the one he gave her.

Elisabeth had no idea what made her get out of her chair and go to the garage’s bathroom. It wasn’t like Toto was going to leave her for her brother, that was ridiculous. But relative coldness from the man she’d finally accepted that she loved was hard to swallow, especially coming back from two weeks of being showered with affection.

She locked the door of the restroom stall and stared at her reflection in the mirror on the back of it.

— What do I do? — she asked herself, her gaze taking in her hair, up in a ponytail, the necklace around her neck, the comfortable dress she’d chosen for that day. She ran her hand down her dress and felt the elastic of her panties through the fabric of her clothes.

That gave her an idea.

— Let’s give him a reminder — Elisabeth said quietly, lifting the bottom of her dress and pulling her panties down, sliding them through her legs. She folded them carefully into a small triangle.

Then, hiding them in a clenched fist, she took one last look in the mirror before opening the door and stepping out of the cubicle. As she walked down the corridor, she could feel her pulse quicken in her ears and felt something tighten in her abdomen.

It was excitement.

When Elisabeth returned to the garage, she found the familiar chaotic dance of equipment and mechanics around the two cars, preparing for the next part of the qualifying session. In the midst of it all, Toto, Niki and Mathias stared at some graphs while Bono explained something, pointing at some colored lines on the screen. The atmosphere around the engineering table was one of pure concentration, even with the deafening noise of the pneumatic pistols.

Approaching them, she started to follow Lewis’ race engineer’s reasoning as Toto looked at her, smiling. She took another step, getting closer to him. Close enough to bring her face close to his ear.

— What are you looking at over there? — Elisabeth asked softly, innocently. In her left hand she clutched the lace anxiously.

— Lewis’ performance graphs correlated with the data we collected in the free practice sessions — the team principal began to explain, pointing to the driver’s braking and accelerating points. She moved closer to him, feigning interest in the matter. However, her hand was already snaking towards his coat pocket. She left her panties tucked inside his pocket, trying to hide her smile.

— Interesting — she replied, pulling away and crossing her arms. Then her gaze met his, a curious glint appearing in his brown eyes — Bono, something we should be worried about?

— Not really. The results from this session and from the earlier sessions are looking pretty similar — the engineer said, pushing the square-framed glasses back to the top of his nose. As he explained his observations to Elisabeth, out of the corner of her eye, she saw that Toto had his hand in his coat pocket. From the movement of his hand through his coat, she knew his fingers were grasping the garment in an attempt to discover what she had just left there.

— There’s only one braking point that shows a discrepancy, but I believe it’s because of traffic Lewis picked up on one of the laps — the engineer continued, pointing to a couple of lines on the screen. However, she was no longer paying attention to the chart in front of her. Elisabeth only had eyes for Toto, who was shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “Has he guessed what’s in his pocket yet?”, she thought, running her tongue over her lips.

— Is he going to continue with the medium tires? — she asked, trying to keep her voice casual.

— We’re going to try to hold him as long as possible with the mediums. Clearly Lewis is managing to deliver results with him on track. Nico, too.

— The wear is going better than expected, Elisabeth — Toto finally spoke up, his voice in a serious, measured tone.

— Didn’t Nico say he wanted to change his tires early because of the blowout earlier? — Mathias asked. If he got an answer, she didn’t hear it. Elisabeth’s eyes were fixed on Toto’s and she couldn’t hear anything else going on around her. His look conveyed a clear message to her without saying a word or even changing his facial expression. 

“I’m in trouble”, she thought, returning to her chair at the back of the garage and crossing her legs.

As the Q3 clock ran out, the Mercedes garage erupted in cheers. Another pole position from Lewis, and a front-row lockout with Nico in P2. She stood up and walked over to the Engineering Station, giving her father a hug and kiss on the cheek.

— You’re a genius — Elisabeth whispered to him, smiling.

Then, she gave Toto a hug, too, not saying anything to him. However, she heard the words she feared most into her ear.

— My office. Ten minutes.

Lewis and Nico returned to the garage and she greeted them. Then, she spent a few minutes talking with her father and brother, until Elisabeth realized that Toto was no longer there. She excused herself and left the garage to go to hospitality. She had a million guesses as to what the team principal wanted with her.

After saying hello to Barbara, who was cleaning a table, Elisabeth walked upstairs to Toto’s office. Her heels echoing through the stairway corridor only made her more tense. She felt like she was a dead woman walking, even though she knew he wouldn’t do anything to her. “Or would he?”, she thought, her eyes reading his name on the placard bolted next to his door.

Elisabeth turned the handle and opened the door, finding Toto leaning against the table, his gaze fixed to the floor. She wordlessly stepped into the office, feeling the anxiety build up in her belly. She had no idea what to expect.

— Could you close it, Liesl? — Toto asked, calmly.

— Yes — she replied, pulling the door closed.

She stared at each other for a few seconds, until he lifted his hand in front of her, her panties unfurling between his fingers.

— Could you explain to me what these are?

— Those are panties, Toto.

— And where were they?

— On my body.

— And why are they in my hand and not on your body?

— Because I took them off and put them in your pocket — Elisabeth replied.

— And why did you do that, Liesl?

— Because I wanted your attention — she said, softly.

— My attention? — he rose from the table, approaching her like a predator stalking its prey.

— Yes, Toto.

— You mean… Miss Lauda wanted my attention? — he asked in a low tone.

— You were ignoring me. I had to take drastic measures — she replied, struggling to get the words out of her mouth.

He raised an eyebrow.

— Your way of getting my attention is by making me hard in front of your brother and your father, Elisabeth?

— You are exaggerating, Toto — she started to say, until he took her hand and placed it at the front of his tailored black pants, making her feel him through the fabric. Realizing he wasn’t lying, she let out a shaky breath.

— No, I’m not, Elisabeth. After you did that, I couldn’t concentrate on anything else. There was no pole position, front row lockout, and no telemetry charts that could take my mind off of you. So close to me and, at the same time, so far.

— Toto…

— You have no idea how much of my attention you have, Liesl…

— But…

— Let me show you — he brought his thumb up to her cheek — Please, let me show you how important you are to me. How you are always in my mind. How I appreciate you. How I need you.

Her heart felt like it was going to explode, it was beating so fast.

— Show me — she whispered.

A mischievous smile appeared on his lips.

— Sit on the desk, Liesl.

She obeyed his order without hesitation, pushing aside the papers and pens to make room for her to sit on the white surface, her thighs pressed together in a feeble attempt to ease the arousal building up in her body.

— Open your legs for me.

Again, Elisabeth obeyed, pulling her knees apart. As he approached her, Toto brushed his lips against hers before giving her another order.

— Lift the dress.

She lifted the fabric to her waist, exposing her pussy to him, a shiver running through her body as the cool air in the office came in contact with her wetness. The vision made Toto’s tongue flicker over his bottom lip.

— You are the most important person in my life, Elisabeth Lauda — he said as he kneeled in front of her, dipping in the space between her tights. He gave a vigorous lick between her folds, spreading her juices through her pussy. The sensation caused a strangled groan to escape her lips. She’d remembered halfway through the sensation that she couldn’t scream.

The movements of his tongue, as well as the grazing of teeth against her clit were relentless, the aching sensation of pleasure building up in her body causing the muscles in her legs to quiver, threatening to close around his head. As if he knew what her body wanted to do, Toto’s palms landed on her thighs, his fingers squeezing them tightly, keeping her still.

With one hand supporting her on the table and the other grasping at his hair, Elisabeth squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the tears welling up. Her mouth opened in a silent scream each time he sucked at her clit with a passion that could make her turn into a puddle in that very moment. 

— Yes, oh my god, yes — she murmured, as she felt his tongue at her entrance while the tip of his nose brushed lightly against her clit, just the way she desperately needed it. Pressure began to build in her abdomen, as her breathing became more and more labored. Elisabeth was fighting her own instincts to push him away from her pussy by bringing him closer.

Almost there.

She was almost there.

— Yes, yes, yes — she whispered, the feeling in her belly becoming almost painful. She needed it. She needed to know how important she was to him. Elisabeth needed a demonstration of love from Toto like she needed air to breathe.

And it was almost there.

— I’m coming — she whispered, her fingers grasping harder on his hair, her legs contracting under his palms.

Between her legs, Toto mumbled something Elisabeth didn’t understand, her focus completely on the bubble of pleasure that was about to explode.

Almost there.

Almost there.

Almost there.

Until the door opened.

— Toto, have you seen my — Mathias’ voice died mid-sentence. What he saw was too shocking for him to say anything more.

Elisabeth’s eyes snapped open, wide. Upon meeting her brother’s gaze, her impulse was to push Toto’s head away from her and close her legs, her hands lowering the bottom of her dress clumsily, fingers trembling. Then, she realized that, with her push, Toto had lost his balance and fell backwards.

— Mathias — she said with a trembling voice, the euphoria that was almost taking over her body being replaced by the terror of her brother walking in on them — It’s not what it looks like.

His expression changed from shock to disbelief as he looked between Elisabeth and Toto. She was red-faced with arousal, her hands shaking and her dress was completely wrinkled. As for Toto, his hair was disheveled from her fingers and his face was shining from her juices.

It was definitely what it looked like.

— Elisabeth, come with me — her brother said, irritation evident in his voice.

— Mathias…

— Now, Elisabeth.

She got up from the table, hesitating to trust her legs as they were so limp due to the adrenaline of the orgasm she hadn’t reached mixed with the fear she was feeling in her bloodstream. After a few seconds of steadying herself, she took slow steps toward the door, her mind still a little foggy.

— Let’s go, Elisabeth — Mathias snarled, making her flinch.

She looked at Toto, who was still panting and sitting on the floor. He looked up at her and gave her an apologetic smile. She bent down and touched his face lightly.

— Are you okay? — she whispered.

— Yes, Liesl, you’d better go — Toto replied, placing his hand on hers and giving it a light squeeze. Elisabeth got to her feet again and walked slowly out of the office, her heart thudding heavily in her chest.

She’d seen Mathias angry before, especially after races where he hadn’t performed well. But at that moment, he wasn’t angry. His face was completely red, his nostrils flaring, his breathing heavy.

Mathias was furious.

Irate.

Incandescent with rage.

He strode to a meeting room that was on the same floor as Toto’s office and opened the door, pointing into the room. His jaw was clenched. She went into the room and he closed the door behind her. Then, Mathias finally turned to her, eyes burning into her face.

— Elisabeth.

— Yes? — she asked, voice shaky.

— Could you explain to me what the fuck you were doing?

— Nothing — she replied in a thin voice.

Mathias ran a hand over his face. He was clearly beside himself.

— You’re kidding me, aren’t you?

— Mathias, it was nothing.

— Elisabeth, I’m not stupid — he replied, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

— I never said that you were, Mathias — she took a step forward, trying to defend herself.

— You must think I’m an idiot. It’s not possible that motherfucker had his mouth on your pussy and you say that it was nothing.

Elisabeth swallowed hard, looking down at her feet.

There was no point in denying it anymore.

— Since when? — her brother muttered.

— What do you mean?

— Since when are you… Doing… Him… This?

— This? — she asked, almost innocently. Her mind just couldn’t process everything that was going on, still fogged by the aborted orgasm and the adrenaline coursing through her veins.

— Fucking him, Elisabeth. Since when are you fucking Toto Wolff?

— Since October of last year — she muttered.

Mathias slapped his palm against his face.

— Are you serious? October, Elisabeth?

— Yes. Sochi — she said softly.

— Damn it, Elisabeth! — Mathias yelled — Do you have any idea what you’re doing? Do you have any idea who you’re having an affair with?

— It’s not just an affair, Mathias!

— It sure looked like an affair, or did he not have his face between your legs?

— Our relationship is serious!

— You’ve got to be kidding — he chuckled — Or crazy. Completely crazy.

— Mathias…

— Have you ever thought about how dad will react when he finds out that you’re having sex with his business partner? Worse, he said that Toto is his friend, Elisabeth!

— Mathias — she repeated.

— Dad keeps saying he has no friends, so when he decides to finally make one, you decide to have sex with him. Honestly!

— Mathias! — she yelled, silencing her brother — It’s not just sex.

— That’s not what I saw — he said dismissively.

— Toto and I are together, Mathias. It’s a serious relationship! We’ve been living together since January…

— I can’t believe it, Elisabeth — he put a hand to his face again.

— We’re together. We are a couple. I was not alone in Sardinia, he was with me. I was with him and the kids.

— You mean that…

— Benedict and Rosa know about us, and are very happy, if you must know.

Her brother put his hands on his hips.

— I don’t give a fuck about the kids, Elisabeth. You two lied to dad about your vacations in the garage. How could you be this careless?

— Mathias, we are not being careless…

— Well, if you are not being careless, if everything is so serious, if you like each other so much, why don’t you just tell our father? I bet he’d be delighted to hear that his sweet little daughter, his golden child, is fucking his friend, his only friend.

— Mathias, you know it’s not that simple…

— You should have thought about that before you started fucking him. 

— I did think about it, Mathias. I did.

— It doesn’t look like it — her brother said, turning to her and heading for the door. “No, this can’t end like this”, you thought.

— Mathias — you said, causing him to stop with his hand on the doorknob.

— What?

— Where are you going?

— I'm heading back to the garage. Someone has to stay with dad.

Panic took hold of Elisabeth. She rushed toward Mathias, gripping his arm tightly, desperation plain on her face.

— Please don’t tell dad — she said in a thin voice.

Her brother looked at her with disdain.

— Give me one good reason not to tell him I found you fucking Wolff in his office.

Elisabeth blinked, her mind desperately searching for a reason strong enough to keep Mathias silent on the subject. Until her eyes focused on the picture on the wall behind her brother. In the black and white image, a steering wheel of a Formula 1 car stood out, along with a pair of gloves and a helmet with the Mercedes star stamped on it. The memory hit her like a bullet.

— Because I didn't tell dad you went karting again even after he forbade you to go anywhere near a track.

She saw the color leave Mathias' face.

— You remember what happened, don't you? You remember I caught you putting your racing suit in your school backpack and you tried to lie to me, but I immediately understood your plans.

— Elisabeth...

— I called Lukas and we argued with you, we tried to get that idea out of your mind. But you asked us to be silent because that was your dream. And we supported you in the end. We even gave you money!

— I couldn't ask dad to pay for it, Elisabeth.

— So you asked Lukas and I to lend you our allowance so you could buy gloves, and a new jumpsuit. We even went a month without having lunch at school to help you pay for repairs on your kart.

— I wasn't doing anything wrong, Elisabeth! — he spat.

— You were risking your life without telling our parents, even after they told you not to. Do you remember what mom said when she found out you were racing again and that Lukas and I were covering for you? — she asked him. Noticing that Mathias was rolling his eyes, she kept going — It's no use rolling your eyes, you know that we have you covered for you to continue your adventure. You have no idea how many times we had to say that you had gone to do some homework with a classmate after school for them to not discover your secret.

— I just asked you to not tell them, you lied because you wanted to!

— And what do you want us to say to justify the fact that you're just not in school? That you walked home? That you just didn't want a ride? We had no choice, you idiot!

— But they eventually found out, didn't they? And I was grounded without being able to race. You and Lukas didn't suffer any consequences…

Elisabeth gave an incredulous laugh.

— They grounded both of us for helping you. I went months without receiving my allowance because of it. And now that you have the chance to repay me, you want to act like you have some sort of moral high ground? 

— It's not a question of having the moral high ground, the question is that the right thing is to talk to him.

— It was also right for you to ask our father to be a driver and you didn't!

— I was a teenager, you are an adult woman. You know the weight of your actions, I didn't.

— Didn't you know you could die, Mathias? That you could get hurt?

He stayed in silence for a few seconds.

— I did…

— So you knew the weight of your actions too.

— But I wasn't fucking my dad's friend.

— And I'm not risking my life doing that! — Elisabeth exploded — It’s my life, not yours. It’s my choice, not yours. It’s my relationship, not yours. So, you better keep your mouth shut just like I did when you decided to risk your life in a race track again or we will have problems.

— Do you think I’m afraid of you, Elisabeth?

— No, I don’t. But you should be, considering I am the one who manages your sponsors.

Mathias sighed. The idea of losing the sponsors of his racing career would certainly compel him to silence.

— Then you need to tell him yourself — he finally said, after some seconds of silence — But you need to know that dad trusts you, Elisabeth. And, like it or not, you’ve already let him down.

Then, her brother opened the meeting room door and left her alone in the room, tears welling up in her eyes.

“You’ve already let him down”, a voice said in Elisabeth’s head.

[nashurifamilyweekend]

Nashurittens Name Submission Form is now open!

Submit your suggested names here!

If you have multiple name suggestions for a particular Nashuritten, please submit a new form per name to make it easier for the mods to collect.

RULES:

Please do not spam the form.

No blatantly offensive or cruel names.

Joke names are ok! Make the mods laugh!

This is all for fun! Have fun with it :)

Form closes on Sept 4th 8 pm CST

For more details about this mini-event, please read our post here! If you have any questions, feel free to reach out to this account or any of the mods!

To learn a little bit about each Nashuritten's personality, look under the keep reading for more!

Meet the Nashurittens

We made little personalities for them, but if you have your own headcanon for how they are, feel free to suggest names based on your own headcanon!

First

Bold Blue. The Regal. The Diplomat.

Personality: Leader. Always looking out for his siblings. Very responsible and thoughtful. Most charismatic. Gives the best hugs and cuddles. Faces every challenge head on. Favorite hobbies: Poetry. Patrolling the kingdom. Favorite babysitter: Namora. Favorite activity to do with Mama & Baba: Attend royal court. Biggest fears: Disappointing Mama & Baba. Heights.

Second

Fearless Red. The Adventurer. The Warrior.

Personality: Learned to fly before she could walk. Wants to explore the whole world. Bravest of all Nashurittens. Has a strong sense of justice.  Favorite hobbies: Exploring the outdoors. Training with the Dora Milaje. Favorite babysitter: Okoye. Favorite activity to do with Mama & Baba: Sparring. Biggest fears: Losing. Getting trapped.

Third

Playful Orange. The Jokester. The Imagineer.

Personality: Always wants to play. Has the best jokes. Most imaginative out of all the Nashurittens. The fastest flier in the family (which is why they easily get away with mischief!) Favorite hobbies: Playing pranks on their babysitters. Favorite babysitters: M’Baku & Attuma. Favorite activity to do with Mama & Baba: Painting. Biggest fears: Scared of the dark. Getting lost.

Fourth

Precious Purple. The Sweetheart. The Protector.

Personality: Respectful of tradition & history. Very empathetic. She’s always the first to comfort her siblings. Most loyal. Don’t let her sweet charm fool you, she will bite to defend her family. Favorite hobbies: Singing with Talokanil sirens. Favorite babysitter: Nakia. Favorite activity to do with Mama & Baba: Take part in traditional ceremonies. Biggest fears: Loss of family. Making mistakes.

Fifth

Clever Green. The Scientist. The Boundless.

Personality: Her mind is always running with new inventions and ideas. The most clever of all the Nashurittens. Rule breaker (in the name of science!) Gets roped into pranks with Third. Favorite hobbies: Inventing. Running experiments. Favorite babysitter: Riri. Favorite activity to do with Mama & Baba: Helping out in the lab. Biggest fears: Failing. Getting stuck.

Sixth

Shy Yellow. The Baby. The Curious.

Personality: Bashful. Sheltered by the family. Still very young so he is easily excited by everything. Still a little clumsy and tends to trip over his own feathers. Sometimes his curiosity gets him in trouble. Favorite hobbies: Being with Mama & Baba. Playing with siblings. Favorite babysitter: Toussaint. Favorite activity to do with Mama & Baba: Napping together. Biggest fear: Growing up. Missing out.

[alyaltyr]

How I Became A Swiftie

2008, Love Story comes on the radio and 14 year old me falls completely in love with the song. As a young closeted boy growing up in rural Norfolk (UK), I definitely kept my music tastes as private as possible. I still remember bringing my music player into college (a place where I felt a little more confident in expressing myself) and was teased BY THE TUTORS for having Katy Perry on there...

I'd never been much of a full-album/full-discography person until recently, so I generally only downloaded particular songs that I came across naturally. Love Story had and always will be on that old music player. As the years went on, I added more of the big hits by Taylor as I heard them, including I Knew You Were Trouble, 22, We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together, Blank Space, Shake It Off, and Bad Blood. I remember the music video for Shake It Off coming out and watching it SO MANY TIMES. As an ex-dancer, I loved all the different styles she included.

I didn't really keep up with music trends or anyone in-particular for a LONG time. I always knew I wanted an artist that really spoke to me with their work that I could be absorbed into, but I hadn't given anyone the chance. I think I tried with a small British singing group called Blake for a while. I bought all their CDs and was lucky enough to see them live. But I definitely needed something more personal to me.

Cut to Red (Taylor's Version) coming out and the short film of All Too Well (10 Minute Version) releasing. I loved Sadie Sink from Stranger Things and I'd heard things about the song All Too Well being heart-breaking, so I decided to give it a watch. Well, I was sold. I listened to that song so many times, I learnt all the words in a couple of days. It related to a heartbreak I had been through so closely, I still believe I was meant to hear it. So, the 10-minute version is actually the first rendition I heard. I was talking to my friends about my want to find an artist and was mentioning different songs I love, including ATW. They advised me to give her whole discography a listen, right from the beginning.

This was around the start of October 2022. So, I make my way through all of her albums. I loved Debut/Self-Titled on first listen and it still has a special place in my heart, being the first full album of Taylor's that I listened to. However, I got to the end of evermore by October 20th (I took my time with it), and as any swiftie knows, Midnights came out on the 21st, which just so happens to be my birthday!

I genuinely believed this woman was meant to come into my life, because I completely adored that album when I heard it, and I had it ON REPEAT on my commute to and from campus for my third year of uni. I still thank Taylor for helping me with my degree because I was very close to dropping out because of growing stress and panic issues, but her music helped me so much with the travelling side of things.

I'd also never felt so connected and understood by an artist, even as a British man. Her words are complete poetry and her melodies captured my heart. I cannot imagine my life without her music now.

Since then, I have listened to anything and everything she has written, and I fiercely keep up with all that she is willing to share. I started collecting her CDs (all stolen versions were bought second-hand) and I started pre-ordering from her website since the tour began. I don't believe this is what makes me a swiftie, I just knew I wanted to support her in my own way, as I was too overwhelmed to order tickets to the show, even though I would love to go.

And now here I am, a fully fledged swiftie. I have so much respect and adoration for that woman. I don't really use any form of social media other than TikTok, but I have to say I've never felt so excited and welcomed by a community in my life. The anticipation of new music and generally discussing what tracks we love etc has given me such a fun avenue in life, which makes the struggles a little easier.

Thank you Taylor for everything you do. You truly saved my life and I will forever be grateful to you for that.

<3