#a snippet of canon

[gregorovitch-adler]

Fire

Here I was with a dozen of Baker Street Irregulars, right outside the apartment building of Irene Adler, just as Holmes had asked me to.

The windows of Ms Adler's flat obscured the view in a way that I could only see Holmes sitting on one of the chairs, conversing with whom I presumed to be the lady.

Holmes had instructed me to yell the word 'Fire' along with the men I had gathered with.

For what, I had no idea. I had asked Holmes about it, but he had the usual flair of drama and suspense that he had to maintain. I had not pressed the issue further, however, because I knew that Holmes would keep me informed once he was done having a proper conversation with Ms Adler.

I had been checking the time on my pocketwatch, for Holmes had asked me to start shouting exactly six minutes after he would begin conversing. He had told me that he would raise a hand at that exact moment.

Three minutes had passed. Maintaining decorum and silence with the Irregulars was a task.

I decided to spend the remaining three minutes admiring Holmes' disguise.

Holmes was dressed as a vicar before going to Ms Adler's flat. He had no trouble pulling off that disguise effortlessly.

His broad black hat, baggy trousers, fresh black shirt hanging loose over his lean frame—especially around his long, thin arms—and his white tie completed the look.

He was wearing a sympathetic smile too, selling the character of a vicar perfectly.

If I had not known my friend intimately, I would have completely fallen for the disguise and assumed that a real vicar was sitting in Irene Adler's living room, having an important conversation with her.

Not only my friend's detective skills were excellent and on point, but his powers of disguise were also outstanding. The world of theatre truly lost a phenomenal actor to the world of crime-solving.

I checked my watch again. Forty-five seconds more, and then it would be my action time. A chance to help Holmes effectively solve this case.

I rubbed my hands together, as I was unable to wait for that exact moment.

**

Prompt: Fire by @calaisreno

Tags: @helloliriels @topsyturvy-turtely @peanitbear @gaylilsherlock @lisbeth-kk @keirgreeneyes @jamielovesjam @totallysilvergirl @copperplatebeech , etc.

[ink-ghoul]

hermit fanon swap - an art game!

Reblog this to let your followers know they can send art requests to your ask box

if you are a writer you can also reblog this and make little snippets about hermits and their new traits

Vex!Grian and Avian!Mumbo as fun examples

Artless version behind the cut:

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Lackadaisy Enrichment

[sandflakedraws]

so i'm readin various stuff on the xray cause this silly film is my current source of joy and

wait

hold up.

what...

WAHT ??? WHAT

XRAY CAST DESCRIPTION????

YEARS???

xrAY dESCRIPTION eXPLaIN!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN FLOYD WAS HELD CAPTIVE FOR YEARS, WHAT SECRET INFO DO U HAVE ACCESS TO???

[yorshie]

Tattoo Worship

Bayverse turtles x reader NSFW head canons concerning the tattoos I added to them.

Set in 2023 for turtles are 24-25

Leo

Sometimes when it’s just the two of you existing, little moments in between commitments and obligations, you will idly throw out poetry about Leo’s ink. Not anything big, not even anything considered good by most standards, but when you compare the flow of water and dancing petals laid out over his scales to the constant ebb and flow of your love for him, he’ll never fail to get this bashful, boyish smile on his face. The turtle with the biggest way with words will fall silent and pliant in your tiny hands.

The true beauty of his tattoo however, comes out during training. The fluid lines accentuate how his body moves, how each group of muscles work in tandem. He’d be a lying little shit if he said it didn’t give him an ego boost to catch you watching him while he’s working on his katas, eyes glued to the flexing lines before following their flow to his arm or further down his leg.

When it’s just the two of you he’ll let you touch it, let you skate your fingertips along the different colors. He might get a bit ticklish around the flower over the finer scales where his plastron meets his inner hip, but he’ll allow a few ticklish touches in order to feel the bliss of your touch on him. If you want to explore the larger flowers underneath his pant line however, he might get a little handsy in return.

Blue likes it when you use your tongue to trace his tattoo. The swirling lines of water in between flowers acts like a maze or a raceway, except the last thing he wants you to do is race to the finish line. If you want to start over he’s not likely to offer any sort of resistance unless you’re purposefully teasing him.

When your hands grab at his hips and ass he likes to imagine the pretty picture of your nails digging into the flowers along his left side, holding him closer. It reminds him to be careful, to not accidentally pinch your fingers underneath the ridge of his shell. He’d rather you grab his ass than his carapace but he knows it’s better leverage for you both to clutch onto the latter

He doesn’t really care if you want to call his tattoo pretty, so long as you look like you mean it. After years of different villains and Jones referring to him as the ‘pretty boy turtle’ he’s learned not to roll his eyes too much. When you gesture at, or press a hand to his hip, and tell him that you think his tattoo is pretty you’ll get either a crooked little grin if the two of you are going steady or a tilted head and a considering look if he’s not too sure you’re being genuine.

Donnie

You don’t often get to see Donnie’s tattoos. In fact, when you first meet him, he wouldn’t be surprised at all if you thought the tribal turtle on his shoulder was the only one he had. It’s not until you’re dating that you’ll see this dorkasauros rex in a relaxed enough environment to notice the blocky lines of his tattoo peeking out from a low rise pair of lounge pants. It’s not that he’s self conscious about them, he’s just usually is wearing his cargo pants or an added apron when he’s out in the garage and his tattoos are low enough on his hips and thighs to not be noticed.

However, the first time your fingers press into the lines his mind might short circuit just a little bit. For some reason Donnie’s nerves are just a little more sensitive, or maybe it’s just he’s a little bit of a baby when it comes to needles, but his tattoo hurt for a while after he finally got Raph to agree to help him ink himself. Now, though, the feeling of your fingertips, your palm, feels good in a way his mind can’t quite comprehend although he tries to. He’ll clutch your hands and hold them still against his hips, mind trying to catalog the sensation while he’s grinning like an idiot. It might take several tries of calling his name and drumming your trapped fingers before he lets you go.

Donnie likes it when you touch his tattoo, in any way he can get, though hard scratches make him wince. Soft touches and tracing the lines and the frill of the flowers on his quads will get you quivering muscles and shaky words if he’s trying to explain something to you while you’re doing it. Absolutely will go wild if you press kisses to his flowers.

Loves to look down while he’s entangled with you to see the harsher colors of his scales and ink peeking through the spaces where your limbs twine with his. If you’re between his legs and you grab onto his tattoo he might just squeak and pull his head and hunch his shoulders into his shell, but only because he’s blushing and he doesn’t want this to end too soon

If you call him or his tattoo pretty this tall turtle will blush and probably fumble whatever is in his hands. Especially if it’s your first time seeing his full tattoo, he might just trip and fall over while trying to untangle his feet. If you keep telling him though, he will eventually believe you, he just won’t understand how you think that’s possible.

Raph

Big Red’s tattoos are hard to miss, even if he’s dressed for patrol. His full sleeves spill out onto his traps and over his collar bones, coiling around his plastron like they’d continue if his scales existed underneath the hard keratin. He’s intimidating, and he knows the tattoos only add to it. He’s not afraid of using it to his advantage and has had more than one person admire them over the years of working with the police force.

It might take you a few hours to map out the expanse of his tattoos with kisses or even with your hands, there’s a lot of intricate details and hidden meanings in the symbols he chose, but if you ask nicely enough he’ll tell you what each one means, especially if he’s sweet on you and you’re stroking softly over the lines along his muscles. When you find the spots that have scars over the lines, he’ll switch to giving you vague answers on how he got them, not wanting to worry you over something that you can’t change. His tattoos are a sense of pride for him, a part of his story, a sign that he’s able to weather pain and tolerate hours underneath a needle.

If you catch him when he’s just done from a work out though, tired and achy but still high off the hit of adrenaline, his muscles will twitch underneath your touch, lines dancing as his nerves react to the stimuli. It’s these moments where running a tongue across his biceps will get a hiss and a look of heat, a quick warning of ‘you better be sure, baby’ before he takes you up on your silent offer and kisses you dizzy.

Raph loves it when you sink your nails into his arms, likes it when you miss his carapace and claw over his shoulders. He knows your little human hands can’t hurt his ink, and even if you did manage to leave a mark he’d wear it with pride, the little filthy gremlin that he is. Expect lots of churring if you scratch over his arms and maybe even a rumbled insistences of “harder, baby, that spot itches bad”

He likes to watch you in secret when you start ogling him. He might give himself away though by smirking when he sees your eyes widen as you map out the width of him or if your gaze trails along his tattoos. If you’re going steady he’s eventually going to call you out for it, go looking for some sugar to make up for ‘undressin’ me with your eyes’ as he usually puts it

If you call his tattoos pretty he might take offense if the two of you haven’t known each other long. If you’re together however, you’ll get either a) a bashful turtle rubbing the back of his neck and blushing or b) mr. bedroom eyes determined to show you how his tattoos are actually not ‘pretty’ thank you very much they are ‘sexy’ and he’s willing to spend any amount of time needed to convince you of the matter. You will never be able to tell which one you’ll get until you give the compliment.

Mikey

Mikey keeps his sleeve covered during patrols but that’s mostly because it’s so bright and colorful even he admits it could potentially give away their position. At home in the lair though, he usually takes his compression sleeves off, so it’s not unusual to see his tattoo early into meeting him. If you ask him about it however, he’ll simply point at a marigold and tell you he likes flowers, smiling and acting like he doesn’t understand that you mean the snarling dragon flashing through the orange flowers. He’s not above showing off and popping his biceps just to watch your face when the flowers double in size however.

If he’s sweet on you though, and you take the time to really get to know him, he’ll let you trace the petals and the scales across his arm, and maybe he’ll tell you why he was the first of his brothers’ to dabble in colorful ink and symbolism. He likes it when you touch him softly, when you hang onto him or press your cheek against the curve of his shoulder. If you press a kiss to the dragon’s snout he might tap his own lips and ask where his kiss is.

Mikey likes seeing his limbs tangled up with yours, likes seeing the contrast of your skin against his, whether it’s his green scales or his colorful tattoo. If you grab at his shoulders or biceps to hold steady it will drive him wild, but he’ll also give you a shit eating grin because he knows you can’t keep your hands off him but also ‘really, sunshine, if you want a piece of the Mikester all you gotta do is ask, baby, there’s no need to be shy-‘ cue whatever brother is nearest him to try slapping him upside the head

The one time he will let you explore to your heart’s content however, is in bed or the shower. This turtle is the one with the most, shall we say, frivolous bedtime routine, and if he can convince you to scrub his scales or rub lotion onto his arms he’s all game. He’s not picky on floral smells, so if you want to try out some girlie products on him he’s game. When he’s loose and liquid from the lovin and pampering, that’s your chance to take your time and learn all the little muscles along Mikey’s tat and discover just how ticklish he is when you touch the shaded dots that curl up underneath his arm.

If you call Angelo’s tattoo pretty, and take the time to make sure he knows you mean it, get ready to be swept up in a full bodied hug and maybe even swung in a circle. He’ll ask if you’ve ever considered getting one of your own, hey maybe the two of you can match, maybe you’ll even let him design it for you-

[little-mouse-adventures]

Currently thinking about Artemis's will in the code at the bottom of TLG and how it really kinda shows how strained his relationship with his dad still is. Everyone else gets something they're interested in or that Arty thinks they'd like (sound system for Juliet, frozen chicken for Mulch, ethical investments for his mother, etc) and yet for his father he leaves only bearer bonds, despite Artemis I trying to move away from a money-focused enterprise and lifestyle as of TEC. Not to mention it's Butler who would know how to disengage all the booby traps protecting said bearer bonds, further highlighting the difference in trust & familiarity Artemis has with everyone but his father.

[shieldofmen]

D&D changing Jon being jealous of Robb because Jon is just as good or better than Robb to Jon being jealous that Robb was better than him is just another example of why they didn’t understand the material they were failing trying to adapt.

Jon being just as good or better than Robb at something highlights how unfair the society Jon and Robb live in can be.

The only difference between Jon and Robb is that Robb was born to married parents and Jon wasn’t. Despite Jon being just as good as Robb or even better than him Jon will never be able to hold the position that Robb does (or if he does it’s because of extreme circumstances). It’s not about competence it’s about luck. Robb did not earn his title as heir to the North he was born into by pure chance.

It was about the discrimination that Jon faces simply for being ‘born wrong’. It’s not about Jon and Robbs dynamic so much as it’s about the way Jon is unfairly treated by Westeros.

But Dipshit and Dumbass kinda forgot being a bastard was important to Jon’s character and that a huge part of asoiaf is about discrimination and how harmful it is but honestly that’s not surprising considering how time and time again they ignored the messages GRRM was trying to convey in favor of ‘ha ha lets write a story where everyone that tries to make meaningful change ultimately dies and nothing gets better’

[ladykettlechips]

Despite what I wrote in my update post, some of my writing mojo has started to return! It's not back completely, but I am currently working on something based on what I think might happen after the scene in s3 where Anthony and Kate talk to Colin about marriage and how it takes work (though Anthony certainly thinks their marriage is easy and it's so damn cute how sulky he gets!

It isn't perfect, but here's a snippet if you want to have read~

-----

“So you think our marriage is imperfect?”

Stilling her hand, the task of unpinning her hair soon forgotten, Kate huffed out a sigh and turned to look at her husband. There in the doorway he stood, chest puffed out with unwavering pride, though his eyes suggested otherwise; somewhere, etched within the gaze he laid upon his wife, there was a flicker of hurt, of a need to understand.

Gripping the back of her chair tight, Kate quelled the desire to pull her lower lip between her teeth.

“Jaa nu, I simply wanted to—”

“That you find it hard work?”

Kate rolled her eyes. “You are certainly hard work, at times,” she muttered, mostly to herself, and moved to face her dresser, returning to the task of unpinning her hair.

Doing her best to ignore the tiresome man behind her, Kate tried to ignore the thrill that skittered over her skin when she heard Anthony step into the room. She could not still the tremble of her fingers, however, when she took out three more pins, each thick coil of hair growing heavier against her back while the door clicked shut. The scrape of a key turning in its lock seemed faint to her ears, yet it still sent an earnest ripple down her spine.

Swallowing thickly, Kate’s eyes turned downcast when the heavy thud of her husband’s footsteps only grew closer, his silence almost deafening before he finally halted mere inches away from her.

She felt the weight of his hands first, heavy on the back of her chair. Then there was the tickle of his breath against her neck, the gentle brush of his nose upon her skin before he inhaled, pulling from within a low, deep groan. Kate could not help but moan at the sound, her head falling to her shoulder to allow Anthony better access, to take her in like he always did. Her eyelids fluttering closed, Kate leaned back, the gentle caress of her husband so achingly close...

“Tell me, wife,” Anthony began, his voice warm and dangerously low against her ear. “Is our marriage truly so difficult that you must voice such concerns to my brother?”

Kate blinked, looking into the vanity mirror to see her husband’s face. Despite his face being so close to hers, his lips barely pressed against her neck and those eyes so dark even in the candlelight, he seemed quite stern.

“You do dwell on such trivial matters,” she sighed heavily and, with a gentle shake of her head, turned slightly towards Anthony until her cheek was pressed against his, the light scratch of his stubble comforting. “I had simply meant to console him, Anthony. Colin is understandably nervous and it is my belief that, while your parents marriage and our own have been happy ones, it is not always the fairy tale that we have painted it to be.”

“So you find our marriage trivial?”

An exasperated noise came from Kate’s lips and, turning herself to face her husband, placed one hand over his while the other found its way into his hair, her nails scratching soothingly against his scalp.

“Why must you be so… so…”

“Exasperating? Much like our marriage?”

Kate fought the urge to slap him for such cheek. Instead she held his gaze, her eyes narrowing at Anthony’s impertinence.

“Disagreeable, Anthony,” she ground out, the corners of her mouth quickly turning downwards. “You must know that I simply wanted to inform our brother that effort must be made to create a harmonious marriage, one that is not simply based on passion, but also filled with compromise.” Pausing, Kate squeezed his hand beneath hers and said, almost earnestly “A marriage built on a foundation of love, much like our own.”

Her hand slid from Anthony’s hair to cup his jaw, her thumb stroking soothing circles against his cheek. Leaning into her touch, Anthony let out a sigh of his own, his gaze not once leaving Kate’s. Then, the corners of his lips began to curve upwards, sparks of gold dancing in his eyes in the low candlelight.

“So you wish to compromise me, Viscountess?” His voice was teasing and light, his lips barely a breath away from hers. “Even though I can be quite… disagreeable.”

Unable to suppress the shudder that wracked through her body, Kate began to nod, only to shake her head when she felt the slide of Anthony’s palm against her arm.

“Yes,” she whispered, beginning to feel herself lean forward as Anthony’s hand slipped beneath her hair to cup the back of her neck. “No. I mean... What I meant to say is…"

-----

I wanted some bickering to follow that scene, so here it is... 👀 TEEHEE!

[wikiangela]

fuck it friday

it's technically friday here already and I'm trying to keep myself busy until 2am for the episode (and trying to stay awake, I've been up for over 20 hours now and there's 1.5h left lmao this is gonna be fun - but I am not missing the madney wedding live) so I figured I'd start fif off haha

today a lil more from my bucktommy smut that's slowly coming together (very slowly, it's gonna be so long, we're at 3k and they're still dressed, and I kinda want to spread it out over a few dates 🙈)

prev snippet

___

“Can I-” he starts, panting against Tommy’s lips. “I really need to touch you.” he gulps, his grip tightening just a little bit, a stifled sound escaping Tommy. Buck wants to hear him, wants to hear all the sounds he can elicit from him.

“You are touching me.” Tommy teases, and Buck kisses a smirk off his face, nipping at his bottom lip as he pulls away, Tommy chuckling in response. Buck is so enamored by this man, he can barely stop smiling.

“You know what I mean.” he shakes his head a bit.

“I do.” Tommy licks his lips. “But I kinda wanna hear it.” he adds with a smug grin, but then places his hands on Buck’s cheeks and makes him look into his eyes, smile turning into something softer. “I need you to tell me what you want.”

“I want you naked.” is what Buck blurts out, and as if involuntarily, Tommy’s hips thrust into his hand, a low groan escaping him.

“Alright, baby.” Tommy whispers, smiling softly, breathing heavy, and Buck thinks he’s going to melt, his heart speeding up.

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @thebravebitch @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @weewootruck @loveyouanyway @spagheddiediaz @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @nmcggg @rogerzsteven @hippolotamus @bidisasterevankinard @giddyupbuck @sunshinediaz @honestlydarkprincess @911-on-abc @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @buddieswhvre @fortheloveofbuddie @your-catfish-friend @daffi-990 @hoodie-buck @aroeddiediaz @thewolvesof1998 @theotherbuckley @tizniz @diazsdimples @dangerpronebuddie @spotsandsocks @exhuastedpigeon @underwaterninja13

[envysparkler]

Jason could hear the echoing footsteps get further and further and further and—stop.

He couldn’t help the chuckle that burst out of his throat.  Rusty, bursts of pain as it jostled his ribs, but he couldn’t stop, he kept laughing and laughing and laughing as the footsteps raced back towards him.

“What did you do?”  The Joker looked angry.  The Joker looked afraid.  And Jason couldn’t stop laughing because this was the punchline he’d been waiting for ever since he clawed out of his grave.

The crowbar struck him in the ribs, effectively cutting off his laughter as Jason choked.  “I’m all outta patience, birdie!”

“You—you thought I was stalling for Batman?” Jason managed to get out.  The Joker was hazy and out of focus, but he was there.  He was there.  It had worked.

“I must’ve not done my job well enough, if you wanted to get locked in with me,” he hissed, lunging forward to yank Jason up and let him go.

Jason strangled the scream as he landed on his hip—that was definitely broken.  But he rolled over to look the Joker in the eyes.  “Do you want to know what it feels like to die in an explosion?” he asked.

The Joker stopped.  Stared.

“It feels like fire,” Jason seethed, “It burns.  It hurts so, so much.  And it isn’t over in an instant.  It doesn’t end that quickly.  You feel every bone in your body snap under the pressure, you feel your lungs cook from the inside, you feel your skin flay off in pieces.”

“You really hold a grudge there, dontcha Birdie.”

“Tell me how to get out.”  The Joker wasn’t laughing anymore.  He wasn’t smiling.  He was holding a gun to Jason’s face, eyes cold.

“Go ahead,” Jason bared his bloody teeth in the approximation of a smile.  “You’ll be doing me a favor.”

[unevenpatterns]

Jet: “Wait, wait, Mai was the one you used to be engaged to?!” Zuko: “Yes, who else did you think it was?” Jet: “...How am I still alive?”  Zuko: “That’s not funny Jet!” Jet: “I even joked with her about you! She could have stabbed me so many times. Unbelievable.” ... Jet: “Is this why no one else tried to get in your pants? They were afraid of Mai? Holy shit, I made it through sheer ignorance.“

[suntails]

two left to draw and it’s done. the series will have taken over two months but it’ll be DONE. sleepy silver sweep <3

[nerdie-faerie]

I'm once again thinking about the missed opportunities to have Klaus and Kol bond more. Part of Klaus' whole motivation as a vampire is to get his werewolf part back and to finally be stronger than Mikael (sort of, I'm simplifying) both of which can be obtained by breaking his curse. But Kol? Kol is the only other original that can relate to having a fundamental part of themself ripped away from them. Klaus might not have known he was a werewolf until he killed, but he likely still had a connection he couldn't explain, as evident by him going to watch the wolves transform. And something he'd never been able to explain was now gone. He might only be able to realise the connection afterwards through its absence.

Kol though. Kol had grown up with magic, a connection to nature and the world around him in a way the rest of his siblings supposedly didn't have. And then he gets turned. And not only has his baby brother died, his father has just murdered him and the rest of his siblings after forcing them to drink human blood, which he'll later learn. Now, not only does he have to deal with the grief of Henrik's death and also his own but also the loss of his magic. A loss that's likely only worsened by Kol being a self-proclaimed child prodigy.

Kol is pretty much the only one who could understand what Klaus is going through with the binding of his wolf. We know Kol searched for ways to get his magic back/carry on practicing magic in the same way that Klaus was looking for ways to break his curse. While Klaus likely could still feel his wolf there despite being bound, Kol has no access to his magic anymore. I just think they should've been able to bond or connect over their shared loss of an intrinsic aspect of their selves at the hands of their parents

[heart-select]

shire movie but its literally just belladona and bungo's love story (altho probably just belladona adventures really)

[yorshie]

Twitterpaited

Hey, These are my Springtime Headcanons!

That's right, we all know that I'm talking about mating season. I tried to not go explicit with these but by the vey nature of these headcanons they are adults doing adult things, so read at your own discretion. There’s cussing and mentions/alludes to adult activities. Set in 2023 so turtles are 24-25

Spring starts slow, creeping up like an itch on their carapace and a skin sensitivity. It hits them all in slightly different degrees of uncomfortableness, but by the end of the roughly two weeks they’re all done with each other and their own instincts. Splinter caught on to the signs of encroaching puberty in their early teenage years. When they were younger, all it amounted to was shedding shells and outbursts of manic emotion and moodiness, but by the time the the turtles are in their twenties it’s a full hormonal raging see-saw. He nopes out to Casey’s and April’s apartment every year by then. They make up the guest room for him and he turns off his phone for the duration. His sons are adults, they can figure out their own shit, and in his older age he values his peace and quiet. And the Lair in springtime is anything but that.

Everything comes out of left field and sucker punches the turtles every year. The human friends of the bale might have picked up on cues to determine when the craziness is gonna start, but to the turtles it feels like nothing is amiss until they’re in the thick of it nine miles behind enemy lines, ass deep in cleaning supplies, snack food, and suddenly unable to stand the sight or smell of each other.

Territorial out the wazoo, and that’s an understatement. They’ll get pissy over someone wiping their feet on the wrong shower rug. Everything in their space must be clean, must be straight, orderly and neat. For Leo this is no problem, but Raphael and Mikey spend a good day or two cleaning out their rooms because their turtle brains can stand the ‘pigsty’ all of a sudden and they can’t find the one object they need that they haven’t thought about all year. One year for Raph it was a particular pair of boxing gloves and he didn’t sleep for three days straight trying to find them. The compulsion to have a clean space drives Donnie up the wall the most, because the poor turtle will never have a clean Lab, no matter how hard he tries. The good side of that is, no one runs into hormonal Donnie as long as they stay away from the Lab- which is a good thing since he discovered years ago caffeine makes everything worse. Just imagine, hormonal Donnie with no caffeine. shudder.

One time Casey nipped down to grab something Splinter forgot, and when he came back home April Frebreeze-ed him outside the apartment before he was allowed to enter. The turtles stink during their springtime, especially with only rival males around to interact with. It’s like they’re each putting out ‘fuck you and fuck off’ stench and it permeates the air. Casey said it smells like a musky skunk, and April swears it smells like a boy’s locker room when she got a whiff of it second handed off Casey. Splinter shocked them both by mumbling into his tea “It smells like they’re horny and pissy.” Raph is the worst at this, but Leo is a close second. Every time poor Mikey sticks his nose outside his bedroom all he can smell is ‘fuck you and the horse you rode in on’ from his elder two brothers and being the smallest and youngest, his turtle senses equate it to ‘I’m gonna get my ass kicked if I leave this room’. 

Despite everyone being frustrated and pissy about it, there’s not a lot of fist fights going on. It’s more subtle postering than anything overt, and it’s mostly between Leo and Raph. Whenever they clock the other in their peripheral, they start up a warning rumble that, in Raph’s case, will shake the furniture in the room if he puts effort into it. At most it’ll escalate into huffing and flexing their arms and chests, but it’s likely to scare the shit out of anyone watching. Every once in a while Mikey will be feeling his oats and will rumble back, and it’s usually enough to shock the shit out of his bigger brothers and they’ll stop for a bit. Leo absolutely hates it. He’s the leader, but come Springtime everyone seems to forget that, and for him it feels like every time he sees Raphael he’s in a power struggle for the mantle. Raph is just pissed he has to see Leo's ugly mug and judgmental eye rolls when he’d rather just get his food and get the fuck back to watching tv in his room with his door locked. 

The one thing that will cause them to stop in their tracks, however, is the discovery of anything smol.  Raph turns on his tv and sees baby animals by accident? Bawls for hours. Families or small children running around exploring on Mikey’s instagram reel feed? Turtle is hit in the chest with the thought that he will likely never be a father. Leo finds old photos of when they were toddlers while cleaning his room?He’ll avoid everyone for the rest of the day, chest tight at the thought of little faces that resemble his own. Donnie finds all the parenting books he downloaded over the hope of ‘what if’? He’ll throw them in the trash and then dig them out hours later in a silent apology to whatever kernel of hope he has.

Now as the turtles get older, there’s always the chance they have an s/o during their Springtime. They learned the hard way that things can get really weird, really quickly, when one year April hugged Raph goodbye after a game night in March and she said “wow you smell really good for some reason”- cue the turtles locking eyes in dawning horror and scuttling out of the room like their pants are literally on fire, and April disgustedly cussing Raph out over the phone once she figured out what exactly was happening. So, needless to say, if the turtles do have an s/o during these two weeks, there is a strict order to stay away from the Lair. If the relationship is far along enough, the turtle could join their s/o at their place, provided they can take the whole two weeks and then some off work, because there is no way any of the turtles could chill enough to let their s/o leave the safety of the nest until turtle.exe stops hogging the brain console and logic comes back online. Even if their s/o leaves just to run errands, they’ll likely come home to find a stressed turtle panic cleaning and vibrating off the walls, rumbling every time they hear footsteps outside in the hall… Maybe it’s better just to leave him in the Lair to preserve his poor blood pressure.

Courtship behavior, however, comes out as well in the Springtime, and it’s something to contend with if either the warning isn’t heeded or the turtle heads aboveground. During the other months of the year, the turtles are more into romancing their s/o’s in a more ‘normal’ manner, but during those two weeks the little voice that warns them humans won’t really ‘get’ all the turtle-y interactions goes suspiciously quiet. Actions such as kissing, hand holding, and personal bubble space go right out the proverbial window, and in their place pop up some more hindbrain postering that, well to be honest, can be downright confusing

One of the most obvious courtships traits is dogging their s/o’s footsteps. It’s a shadowing instinct, made ten times worse by their ninja training and their ability to move silently, and nine times out of ten they don’t even realize they’re doing it until their s/o turns and runs into them. They’re always in the way, always underfoot, and if they can’t physically follow they’ll track with their gaze. It gets worse if the other turtles are around, to the point where their s/o might feel like they’re being stalked by a particularly rumbly bodyguard that covers their back at all times. Surprisingly (sarcasm), Mikey is the worst offender. Leo is the best at keeping himself to only following with his eyes, but eventually they’ll all break and find themselves one step from being up against their chosen partner.

Another turtle-y interaction that grips them hard is the need to provide. He notices his s/o hasn’t eaten in a few hours? He’ll make a point to get them to eat or to bring them snacks. The room’s too cold or there’s too few blankets to cuddle up in? He’ll bring the covers from the bed if he can’t get away with just relocating to the  bedroom, but no matter what he’s getting some article of his ill-fitting clothing on his s/o. It’s a ‘kill two birds with one stone’ technique that soothes the itch in his snout that absolutely freaks him out when he realizes his s/o doesn’t smell like him.

The turtles also turn handsy overnight. Their s/o better be prepared for casual touch at any open opportunity, because the turtles will not waste it. Everything from a hand on the small of their s/o’s back, to touching any bare skin, to fluttering their fingers against their s/o’s face. The latter happens the least, and only when no one else is around to witness it. If their s/o ever tries to turn the tables and return the favor around others, it quickly becomes apparent by the sputtering and coughing from the other brothers that they might not understand all the connotations associated with the action. Cue their turtle getting flustered and all but ducking their head into their shell in embarrassment over being propositioned in front of his family.

Cuddle time dissolves into massages as an excuse to rub up against their s/o, to the point that the s/o might have to point out that massages are usually done with hands and not by just bumping and rubbing a turtle snout over any body part they can reach, which will only be answered with annoyed grumbling and insistence that they ‘aren’t’ doing that… while not stopping doing exactly that. There is also no such thing as personal space while cuddling- if their s/o doesn’t want a heavy ass turtle in their lap, they better nab that spot first or risk being squashed.

Speaking of turtle rumbles, those aren’t the only sounds that come out with a vengeance during springtime. The turtles all churr more readily, chirp and click to get each others and their s/o’s attention, but when they’re alone with their s/o it ramps up, to the point where they’ll forgo words all together. Donnie is the worst offender as he’s battling not only hormones but also caffeine withdrawals, and as such he tends to only hiss at his brothers when they stick their heads into his lab to make sure he’s still alive. With their s/o's however, it's all rumbles deep in their chest and churrs that are likely to rattle the breath in their chests. Raph has the lowest auditory range with his rumbles while Mikey sounds the sweetest.

[mothfables]

Baby Legend’s Favourite Animal(s)

Wild: hey lege, what’s your favourite animal? Baby!Legend: bunnies! :D Twilight + Sky: *exchanging looks of surprise* Legend: oh oh! and bees! Wind: but bees aren’t animals, they’re bugs Legend: okay, then they’re my favourite bug! Wind: why are they your favourite? Legend: cause they help the orchard grow! they help th’ flowers po-poll-i-nate an’ that helps them grow apples! uncle says there are birds that do that too, an’ butterflies an’ other bugs, but bees are the best! Twilight: the larva also make for good snacks :)

Legend: *staring at him in horror*

Warriors: ...twilight what the fuck. why would you say that