#a talking duck and dog ahaha

[miramelindamusings]

Thanks for the info for possibilities about Namine's role in your Kairi Protag AU. I think that Namine could be a clone of Kairi made by the Organization, like Riku Replica.

On another note, what do you think Kairi would wear in the Pirates of the Caribbean world? Pirate wise.

That’s a neat idea! I’d love to hear more if you feel comfortable sharing! In terms of POTC, I actually started a re-watch to get in the headspace to draw something since it’s been a very long time that I’ve seen them! Kairi’s outfits are so pink in KH2 and KH3 so I tried to incorporate the purples and yellow from KH1 for some of the designs. While KH2 didn’t have Sora wear anything special, I couldn’t resist atleast sketching something out for Kairi. I can’t wait to draw something more concrete in the future (particularly exploring interactions with Elizabeth Swann!). Until then, here are my brainstormy sketches! Thank you for the ask!

[kazumist]

hihi aki, congratulations on 1k once more <333 i was wondering if i could get prompt 19 with megumi, please? thank you in advance bb <33

prompt: talking late into the night

note: far!! thank youuu huhu sorry it only got done now,, featuring my own late night thoughts and convos i've had myself :] possibly ooc megumi btw ahaha :')

1k milestone event: closed!

“do you think birds would be like dogs if they didn’t have wings?”

“babe, please just go to sleep.”

you turned to face him while lying sideways. “but babe, think about it. would they be like ducks who would usually walk on the ground?” he looked at you helplessly before sighing, “well, yeah? maybe they would. but is now the perfect time to really think about this?”

“yes, now is the perfect time to really think about this, gumi.” you replied with a breathy chuckle.

“and why is that?”

“what could possibly hurt from having some crazy late night thoughts?”

you had a point—it’s not like you could freely have such talks during the daytime. so megumi thinks that it’s okay to indulge in your ludicrous questions every once in a while. thinking about the possibilities of this and that doesn’t really affect anything.

“wait, here’s another one. how do you think transportation would work if cars weren’t made?”

“i think it’d still be the same. people can still use other vehicles.”

“but it wouldn’t be the same as cars. you wouldn’t have the same privacy like you’d get when you’re travelling by car.”

megumi feels a smile creep onto his face at your words. you really were serious about all of this, and he found it cute.

maybe sleeping a bit late isn’t that bad after all.

[mythrilhusk]

Despite Everything - Chapter 2

NOT RPF (Ao3 link) Words - 2,243 Last Chapter

Next Chapter

CW: violence, imprisonment, inhumane treatment

"You see, Quackity, the idea is to not get caught." Technoblade whets his battle axe with firm, lazy strokes as he leans on a blackstone pillar. 

Quackity laughs nervously and reaches for his sword. "I, uh, didn't see you there, Techno." His six pairs of wings flutter and ruffle, barely hidden behind his crude glamour. 

"K." 

"You're not going to stop me." Quackity gathers his courage-- a contradiction considering he's literally the Angel of Fear-- and steps forward, sword ready. 

Technoblade, Angel of Wrath, strikes a terrifying figure as he steps into the glow of Jupiter shining through the windows. "You sure?" The gold-sheathed tusks glint as a grin crosses Techno's bristly muzzle. His two massive wings rustle behind his back, flaring menacingly. 

Quackity gulps and points a furious finger at Techno. "You- you fucking took the last biscuit, but I won't let you get away with it, Technoblade, I will have my revenge!" 

Technoblade splutters, then laughs. "That's the best you can come up with??" 

"I'm under pressure, here!" Quackity blushes angrily. "Just let me beat you already!" 

"High hopes for a man who just claimed revenge for a biscuit." Technoblade chuckles. "But alright, let's see if you've improved since the last time I handed your ass to you." 

Quackity drops his glamour. Technoblade flinches back from the blazing light of Quackity's multi-winged amorphousness. "Ha!" Quackity slams his sword down at Technoblade's arm. 

Techno's axe deflects the sword and his fist slams into Quackity, knocking the Angel against the wall. Quackity heaves instinctively to regain his breath, despite not needing air. Techno roars and leaps at him with his axe upraised. 

Yelping, Quackity rolls out of the way. The axe slams into the floor, and Techno rips it out before stalking once more for Quackity. "The fuck, man, are you trying to kill me??" 

"Treat every fight as a life-or-death situation." Technoblade intones. 

Quackity reaches for his sword, which leaps into his hand. He deflects Techno's next swing, then ducks under the axe and slashes for Techno's ribs. "Eat shit, motherfucker!" 

Techno doesn't even falter as the sword slices through his shirt, doesn't even flinch as blood wells from the gash. Roaring, he knocks Quackity's sword from his hands and lashes the axe across his form. 

"Stop, stop, haha, stop, wait!" Quackity cowers, retreating behind his glamour, wincing as his form regenerates the deep wound.

Technoblade slips the axe into the sheathe by his side and raises his clawed hands to show he's unarmed. He shifts down to his smaller, less intimidating form. "You fool." He chuckles with light mockery. "Train for another hundred years, then we'll see." 

"You damn bastard, you never let me win." 

"Let you win?? Why would I do that??" Technoblade guffaws. "Let you win. Wilbur, you hearing this?" 

Wilbur emerges from the ceiling. The Angel of Deceit's figure never settles on one form, glittering and glitching as he morphs continuously. "I heard." He says, grinning down at Quackity. "I bet I could beat you, Technoblade." 

"Really? Wanna test that?" Technoblade reaches for his axe, baring his teeth with excitement for battle. 

"Nah, not right now. I'm still asleep." Wilbur drops to the floor. 

"Hey, boys." Philza's voice filters through the sparring room. 

"Philza!" Technoblade cries joyfully, bounding to give the old man a big hug. 

"I heard that, you little shit." Philza snaps. "I'm not fucking old."

Quackity stomps his foot, laughing nervously. "I didn't think anything, you didn't hear anything, fuck, I'm sorry!" 

"You better be." 

"What's up, Philza?" Wilbur grins eerily. His grins always manage to be eery somehow, even in the more attractive forms he occasionally wears. 

"I just got a message. Someone's got a new job for the Pax Triumvirs." 

"Pog~," Technoblade hums. 

"What is it?" Quackity steps forward, taking the proffered scroll from Philza. He looks into the holographic screen. "The Lucid Spider? Who the fuck is he??" 

"Dunno. But the job seems fun enough. Techno, you'll like this one." 

"Oh? Oh?" Technoblade grunts, doing a little shuffly dance of excitement. "Are we blowing up another government?" 

"Seems like." Philza takes his scroll back from Quackity. "This Chiaroscuro Emperor has been gettin' a little too cozy, anyway. It's about time we stirred up some bees in his bonnet." 

"Who the fuck is the Lucid Spider, though??" Quackity cries. "Can we trust him to pay us?? How much are we getting paid, anyway?" 

"Quackity, money is merely material, while destruction of enforced hierarchies is spiritual." Technoblade hums. Wilbur tries to fistbump him, but his hands turn into lobster claws and Techno refuses to notice, so Wilbur sags, feigning dejection.

Quackity sneers. "That's bullshit, Techno-" The chrysaor reaches for his axe. "Ahaha, I'm joking, I'm joking, please don't punt me!" 

Technoblade keeps one hand rested on his axe just to spite Quackity. "Phil, he's got a point. Who is this Lucid Spider fellow?" 

"I dunno, mate. But he's paid half a billion up front, an' promised the rest when the job's done, so I think we're all cool." 

"Alright, alright. That sound good to you, Quackity?" Technoblade cocks his head, his ears pricking hopefully. "You're the money-guy." 

"You shoulda told him a trillion up front, and two trillion when the job's done. One fucking billion is pauper-speak." Quackity scoffs. "We need supplies and shit for the coup, we can't just summon food and allies out of thin air." 

"True, true. Philza?" Technoblade only ever yields to Quackity's expertise when money matters are concerned. In all other fields, he or Philza takes the lead. Quackity enjoys being the technical treasurer of the Pax Triumvirs, but he wishes he had slightly more control over the missions they went on. 

"Eh, I'll let'im know." Philza shrugs, then winks at Quackity. "Beat Techno once and maybe we'll talk about letting you lead a mission, kid." His forest-green cape billows behind him as he spins to leave the sparring room. 

Quackity laughs, preemptively nervous, and backs into a pillar. "Technoblade, don't get the wrong fucking idea, man."

"K." Techno's eyes gleam with amusement. "You want to try?" 

"I could beat you with my eyes closed." Quackity scoffs. "I don't need to try, I already know I could, I- I just want to spare your dignity!" 

Techno keeps giving him that damn sadistically amused look. "K." 

"I'll fight you, Quackity." Wilbur pipes up, still grinning. "I don't have any dignity to spare." 

"Nah, I'm actually really fucking tired right now, so maybe later, ahaha, or never, seeya losers!" Quackity hastily camouflages and flees from the sparring room. 

He's still not used to this, even after three years. He's not used to sharing a literal underground mansion with literal terrorists, much less being dragged into commiting acts of minor terrorism himself. He's not accustomed to the casual violence, the utter apathy towards other lives, the reckless attitude towards death. 

He plops down on a beanbag in his room and stares at his shaking hands. "If I had a choice," He wonders aloud. If he had been given a choice, would he have taken the cleaner, less bloody route? 

But the gods don't allow their Angels to choose. Theirs is not to question why, theirs is but to do and die. 

++++

Ponk paces restlessly, fire flickering in his eyes and hands. Hannah Rose watches him from her corner, cold tears dripping down the steel muzzle over her jaws. The two captives have only each other. The passage of time is lost in the silence. 

Rose raises her head as the massive door outside their cell slides open with the blaring of an alarm. She glowers silently at the Scythes, who enter before the Chiaroscuro Emperor. 

"Well!" Emperor Schlatt claps his hands together cheerfully. "Well, well, well." The forcefield is all that stands between the prisoners and their captor. 

"Fuck you, man." Ponk snarls. "Let us go." 

"Hm, lemme think about that. How about no." Schlatt shrugs, grinning. "You little fucks think you can cross me, eh? Around here, my word is law." 

The three Scythes step forward in unison. Schlatt leans against the wall. "You ready to talk nicely, Rose, or do we need to keep you silenced?" 

Rose scowls at him. Her hands are chained to the wall, so she can't even respond with a crude gesture. Ponk kicks the forcefield, then yelps as it disappears. He backs away from the Scythes stalking towards him. 

Scythe Ranboo approaches Rose. His green eye narrows, hard and cold, the pupil constricted to a mere slit. The red cybernetic implant of his other eye whirls and spins in its socket, trying to see everything at once. The black and white metal exo-jaws keep his mouth clamped shut. Rose almost feels bad for the Scythes. They're not allowed to speak either, muzzled like dangerous dogs, like herself. 

Ranboo removes Rose's muzzle and she works her sore jaws. "Thank you." She murmurs. If she can get even one of the Scythes to sympathize with her, she and Ponk may have a fighting chance of escape. Ranboo replies with the slightest of nods, then retreats back to Schlatt. 

In the meantime, Scythes Tubbo and Tommy have cornered Ponk as Schlatt interrogates him. "I don't know what you mean!" Ponk cries, cowering. "I don't know where the heart is!"

Schlatt turns to Rose. "Hey, bitch, you want to help your buddy out?" 

"I'll tell you fuck-all." Rose snarls. 

"Heh, okay. Guess I have no use for either of you, then. Tubbo?" Schlatt turns to his Scythes. Tubbo removes two painfully familiar phylacteries from his suit pocket, handing them both to Schlatt.

"No!" Ponk cries. "You can't- please don't, man, I really honestly don't know what you want!" 

"I want the Cosmos Heart!" Schlatt bellows. "And I'm going to get it!" 

"You motherfuckers don't know what you're playing with!" Ponk snarls right back. At a gesture from Schlatt, Tommy slams Ponk into the wall. 

"Hannah Rose?" Schlatt turns to Rose. Ranboo stalks towards her. "Sing for us, birdie, or your little fuckbuddy here dies first." Schlatt dangles Ponk's phylactery on his finger. 

Several colorful curses leap to Rose's tongue, but she restrains herself, trying to meet the predicament with a clear head. "I'll tell you." She growls. "If you give those back and free us." 

"What, do I look like a cruel person to you?" Schlatt laughs. "Tell me and I'll do you one better! I'll hire both of you!" 

Rose shoots Ponk a warning glance. He can't continue to defy Schlatt, or they'll both die. She answers, "Fine. The Cosmos Heart can be found in the Unity of the Dragons." 

Schlatt laughs. "What's that supposed to even fucking mean?"

"The Spirits. Find them, unify them, and their powers combined will form what you desire." 

"Alright. I'm a man of my word. Ranboo, escort Hannah Rose to the Butterfly suite." 

"Let Ponk go, too." Rose demands. 

"Sweetie, I don't have any reason to let either of you go. I could kill you both and not lose anything, right now. But I'm being nice, here." 

"Please." Tears well in Rose's eyes as her lip trembles and her breath catches on feigned sobs. "I can't lose him, too." 

"Aww, c'mon, sweetheart. Alright, alright, fine, don't cry, he can share the suite with you. But I'm keeping these." Schlatt hands one phylactery to Ranboo, and the other to Tommy. 

"Thank you," Rose keeps up the act, sobbing almost for real out of relief. 

Ranboo leads Ponk and Rose through the vast space-castle in silence. Ponk is unusually quiet, glaring down at his grimy boots as he stomps on the clean tiles. Rose stares out of the portal windows they pass, watching the stars. 

"Now I have three souls I can't lose." Ranboo mutters. Rose glances up at him, noting that the exo-jaw has loosened its hold to allow him speech. His eyes drop to her forehead, avoiding her eyes as he always has, and he smiles weakly. "Nevermind." 

"Can I have mine, please?" Rose dares to ask. 

"I- I can't, Schlatt would be so furious if I did, I'm sorry." Ranboo shakes his head hastily. "I'm supposed to obey him." 

Rose gives him a pitying smile. "Please keep my soul safe, then." 

"I'll do my best." Ranboo replies. He stops by a hatch and taps the ID pad with a finger. "Here you go. Butterfly Suite." 

The hatch flowers open to a spartan set of rooms. Rose enters the cold space and sighs, longing for her tapestries and carpets. "Can I decorate it?" 

"Uh, you can ask Schlatt, or whoever he puts in charge of you guys." Ranboo deflects nervously. 

Rose nods to him. "Thank you, Ranboo." 

"Oh. I- oh. Please don't thank me." Ranboo backs out of the room. "Someone will come with food later." 

"Thank you." She repeats with an innocent smile. Ranboo retreats. The hatch closes and locks behind him. Her smile falls into bitter hatred. "Damn them!" She snarls and kicks the wall. "Damn them all to the pits of Tartarus!!"

Ponk drops onto the only seating present, a wooden bench. "Why'd you tell them?" He sounds lost, broken.

  "I couldn't let you die, Ponk! I can't fucking live with that, not even for a few moments!!" Rose paces the main room, then inspects the offshoots. Two bedrooms, a bathroom with a luxuriously deep tub, and a kitchen. Not bad, and certainly a step up from the cell. But they're still trapped here. 

Hannah Rose hates being trapped. 

Next Chapter

[heyyylittlemo]

Ask game

1. Where did you hide the body??

Me: *pause* No, where did you hide the body—

*police stare at me with disbelief*

Me: there’s no—there’s not a single body here—well stop looking at me like that, you’re the cop! You should know! Why are you asking me for! Body? Whaaaaaat. Ahaha.

*cops shake head*

*whispers to my friend* Guys I think I pulled that one off

Police: you know we can hear everything you’re saying

me: 👁👄👁

2. Favorite rock? The 1975. Dominic Fike. Arctic Monkeys. Bad Suns. The killers. Pale Waves. Etc. That good good shit 👌

3. Most aesthetic season? Fall. Love them orange colors. The leaves falling. Though spring is also neat if you have a bunch of flowers bloomin in shit and winter is only aesthetic when it’s snowing. Boring ass summer tho just be heating me up.

4. When texting do u shorten words or spell out? I used to write stuff out all the time mostly but now it’s like half and half bcuz its just faster and nobody got time for it 🤣🤣

5. Vintage stuff? Hell yeah, but maybe not anything too expensive since some old stuff IS hyper expensive.

6. Colors that pop or blend? Not sure I understand what u mean abt them blending ahaha u mean like when they’re so similar to another?? Well I think it���s nice but honestly I prefer a pop and a bang, y’Know?

- At this moment I realized I was answering the last few questions from a completely different ask and felt like a dumbass 😂 anyways the actual number we’re on is three so imma just kickback

3. Worst dream u have ever had? I had sleep paralysis but was imbetween that and a lucid dream. At first I was paralyzed and could see my bed but my eyes felt closed and open at the same time?? A giant dark demon looking dog had towered over me and began to tear at my neck. It looked and felt very real I started to try to scream and it felt like a scream was coming out but no sound exited. Then I went into a lucid dream where I was being chased by this dog and running for my life I was running by and nobody could save me nobody in the dream when it caught up to me I was back in my bed and it was trying to eat me again. I was so terrified I couldn’t sleep for a whole week.

4. Lyric that comes to your mind? “And I don’t think I can be there. I’m paralyzed,I’m terrified of being alone. When you said I deserved what had happened.”

5. Blood make u uncomfortable? Yes, I passed out once when getting my finger pricked and a VERY small blood sample and another when dissecting a fish.

6. Even or odd numbers? Well I like the number 5,7,9, 3 so odd. (Like me 🤣🤣)

7. Something I hate that I love? Anything I’ve ever loved becuz love can be frustrating. Bruh.

8. 1st initial of someone I hate? Hmm...do I hate someone tho? Not that I can think of...

9. *Skipping down the lane* NOPE

10. Corn dogs? It’s funny cuz when I think of corn dogs my mind will always go to when we first moved to our current house because at our initial town we never had Sonic and while we were getting the house fixed up and moving stuff we use to always get Sonic since it was the closest to us most times to eat and that was a bunch of corn dogs and hotdog days 🤣 so thnk u corn dogs for ur service

11. I’m not a huge movie person so...I looked up movies from 2005 and movies Inlike from this time are Brokeback mountain bcuz it’s gay af, Shark Boy and Lava Girl damn I rewatched the shot out of it when I was younger, Narnia and the Chocolate Factory(although it low key creeped me out as a kid, and idk why).

12. Least fav music genre? Most country, most EDM, dubstep, screaming/really hard rock, some pop music, mumble raping.

13. As someone who waits on tables, my job is my least favorite restaurant experience 🤣🤣 just dealing with ppl...like ok, I’m half Hispanic right?? But I look white. Well, I work at a Mexican restaurant and so sometimes racist costumers will say shady shit just bcuz I guess they think it’s appropriate to say it to me just bcuz I’m not Hispanic in their eyes?? But it pisses me off and I feel like I can’t say anything without causing a drama which I hate and when the “costumers always right” it can be hard to budge and stand up and say “bitch wtf did u just say??” And there’s just folks who take things the wrong ways or ask too much at once or give u a hard time or just say something that sticks onto you for the whole day. One bad move can turn my whole day upside down.

14. 3 things never come near me? Cockroaches, Needles, and close mind ppl

15. Worst way to die? With regrets. Something really brutual, random, or where something just happened to go wrong (accident). Being killed by someone u love.

16. Unusual habits? Doing a Michael Jackson esque “hee-hee” after every sneeze I make, being extremely clumsy and making every task 100% more difficult, having the ability to talk as if I have an accent that comes from nowhere in particular just stupidity also I can’t speak my own language half the time 🙃getting words confused or misusing them in a sentence so I sound dumb having a very weird imagination and thoughts, I swear it like I never went to school and don’t know how the world works, plus many many more

17. Clothing style u want? I want to dress in a way that screams who I am and is a blend of both femininity and masculinity. A little vintage. Grunge. Urban maybe?? What do I know abt fashion 🤣🤣

18. Song or artist that deserves more? Dijon, hands down. I love his stuff. He’s like Frank Ocean meets light-singing beautiful lyricist with a more rock vibe?? Hidden gem. I also think Durand Jones & the Indications needs more love along with BadBadNotGood they sound like old-times but are new!! Oh, and Pale Waves is like a female The 1975 and kicks it. Bad Suns is a good alt rock band that no one seems to recognize :,D Toro y Moi too! His song with Flume “The difference “ is a banger!! Kid Cudi is my man when I want a blend of rock and rap. Also Dominic Fike,King Krule, and Roy Blair, who are all amazing!! Ok I need to stop 🛑

Duck I answered the past questions from a different post I’m sorry 😐

17. Emoji never used? There’s a bunch since I reuse the same over and over again. Lmao

18. 3 sentence Gatorade horror story? A faint quiver overtook the small freezer the Gatorade lay in; no one had come by in days, hours, weeks; when was the last time he met the lips of a thirsty body? They’d forgotten about him, as his last sips remained glued to his hollowing entrance. ‘Help, ‘it wanted to say, but it’s frozen lips could not be moved; It’d stay here, die here...just like the rest.” What am I doing with my life 🤣🙏

19. Do u know what an old bay is? A bay that is old? And old ocean? Idk!!!

20. Can u dance? Sometimes I dance when I’m alone but nothing spectral lol

21. What first comes to ur mind when u see ropes? 2 extremes. Sex and death. Hm. Ok. Moving on.

22. Make an obscure reference. “Even a bra couldn’t hold these nipples” *Holds a water gun to chest*

23. Fav balloon color? Pink or yellow.

24. If u were in court would u be innocent or guilty? Depends, what am I in court for 🤣 lmao jk honestly idk bcuz I don’t think I’d wind up in there

25. Are u hungry ? Nope

26. Unlucky number? Hm I don’t think so but I have a lucky number “123”

27. What’s “JMD”stand for? I’m guessing...Jamming my d—- 💀lol jk ahaha why am so dirt

28. Random inside joke? *chirpy squeak* I’m making a double batch of cookies

29. What sends chills up ur spine? Seeing disgust food or smell disgust or talking abt disgust things like gore

30. How many questions are in ur inbox? A pathetic zero ahaha no one want to ask me anything 😂

31. Someone real who scares u. 2 of my ex friends. One when I was 10 said disturbing things and I was kinda forced onto the friendship and everything they said make me fear for others lives...and then a different ex friend who seemed normal at 1st but became both low key psychopath cult leader type stuff and I booed out of there—-.

32. Run or hide? Uhh probably hide because I’d say even if ppl say “u can run but u can’t hide” u CAN just hide! that’s the point of hiding they not find u xD also why not combine them? Hide then run somewhere far away once I got them off the trial.

33. Last person who made u angry? A frickin beetle that flew at me and pinched me in the middle of singing in the shed xD also my autocorrect

34. What’s going on in ur head? I should probably pee soon—

35. Little thing that makes u Smile? A lot of little things bruh.

36. Are u a descisive person?

Not sure.

*pAuse *

Ok, I guess I’m not then 🤣

37. Would ppl say I’m paranoid? Hm maybe about certain things social situations, singing in front of others what ppl think abt me etc etc

38. Store least likely in? Any southern clothes shop, Abercrombie & Finch types shit, lol

39. Do I like hats fave type? Hm not wear many hats but I think they’re cool any type is cool for different ppl and their aesthetici just can’t rock a hat.

40. Bow ties or ties? Don’t really care but now want to see more bow ties

41. Who? You.

42. What? Reading this shit

43. Where? In ur ass

44. When? Now.

45. Why? Not even u know why.

46. How? We all want to know

47. Do u collect anything? Vinyl records.

48. What tome is it? Time to get a watch

49. Fav transportation? My car or walk is possible

50. Would u ever kill someone to save someone? Don’t want to think about that

51. Make a joke. Yo, it’s time to make a joke—so the other day I was working. And I was practicing my Spanish, yes? Anyone whose trying to learn anew language k n o w s that sometimes words can be so close to another u just confuse then! So apparently churros in Spanish is a desert but if u say it more harshly (it literally sounds almost the same) it makes a whole different meaning—diharrea, but like I didn’t know that so I legit just walked up to this person and asked if they would like some shit to eat. So yeah, that was great. Let’s not forget that I mixed up blood, watermelon, and sangria which is a wine. I legit once said I had mixed wine in my vines and another time watermelon 🤣

52. I’m really confused so I skip

53. Would ur dash be confiscated SFW? By dash do u mean this account? Um not 😬

54. Do I like to cuddle? Hell yeah and manhandle ppl all the time it’s my affection

55. What makes u angry? Close minded ppl or ppl who jump too fast to conclusions, strict schedules just dumb stuff that people try to force when I just want to be carefree 😭✌️

56. How many voices are in ur head? 😐

57. Do U consider urself mentally stable? 😐

58. Are u easily offended? Well U just called me mentally unstable and asked it there was voices in my head!!

59. What’s wrong with taking the backstreets? Uhm...

60. Any questions u want ppl to ask u? Nothing in particular but it’s be nice if someone care to ask me something abt me from personal question to my opinions on shit to 19 days fandom related junk 😌

Woooo I’ve finished this game! Thanks to @seiji-amasawa for introducing me to this ^^

[ask-the-yugoslavbunch]

Fic: drabbles

//-dusts off blog- so finals amirite? I’ll see how much I’ll do with this blog over the summer ahaha

In the meantime, I wrote some drabbles! Based on some ships, though various levels of shippyness varies. All drabbles ended up as 100 words, which I’m proud of lol, though some have some notes added on.

Ao3

BosHerze Castle

“…and that’s the gardens, and this is the castle!”

Bosnia spread her arms wide as she gestured towards the sturdy looking fortress. “We’ll be staying here a while before we continue on to Visoko.”

Zahumlje said nothing. He was miserable. At least when he was being bossed around by Serbia or Croatia or Rome*, they had been taller and older, so them being more powerful was fine. But now, he was being bossed around by some girl a head shorter than him with flowers in her scandalously short hair. It was the worst embarrassment a nation could imagine.

Life sucked.

*Rome in this case is the Byzantine empire, as when it still existed it was just called Rome.

SloMace Wicked

“Oh, wicked!”

Primož raised an eyebrow at Vesna. “Wicked?”

She grinned. “It means, like, cool. It’s slang. Doesn’t hurt to try slang sometimes, you know. All the cool, hip bands say it.”

He definitely did not pout as he said, “I can use slang.”

“Sure, Primo.” Vesna smiled patronizingly at him, then paused and tilted her head slightly, as if thinking hard. “Going back to cool bands though, you’re a part of ours, so I guess we automatically don’t qualify as cool. How sad.”

He threw a nearby shoe at her, as she laughed and danced out of the room.

SerbCro Evaluate

“Novak.”

“Krešimir.”

The two men evaluated the other. They hadn’t seen each other in a while, at least not outside the professional business sphere, and suddenly happening upon the other man so casually raised their hackles quite a bit. They gazed intently, as if those gazes would reveal the other man’s weaknesses and secrets.

This show off, however, would’ve been significantly more tension filled if it weren’t for the fact that they were in a dog park and Novak’s dog Ben was sniffing Krešimir’s dog Jelena’s butt.

Novak tugged on the leash. “Ben, stop that. Oh, Lea don’t you start.”

CroHun Explosion

Croatia threw himself on the ground as the enemy sent another volley of arrows, these setting the wood in the castle on fire. He wouldn’t die from the arrows, not permanently at least, but it would still hurt. Sieges sucked.

He chanced peeking up and saw Hungary standing straight over the ramparts, laughing and making rude hand signs towards the enemies. He stared at the older boy in disbelief and awe.

“Are you crazy?” Croatia yelled over the sounds of battle. He ducked down as more arrows rained down.

He heard Hungary laugh, and decided yes, the boy was nuts.

*this is during the time Hungary thought she was a boy.

MontHerze Strike

Nada slammed the trunk closed and looked through the window, grinning. She sauntered around the car to the passenger seat and sat so she was straddling Danica.

Danica gave her a chastising look, but Nada could only properly see one eye, so the reprimand was minimalized. Nada grinned unashamedly.

“Are the—”

“Weapons all in? Yes, it’s all good.”

Danica let out an irritated huff, but put her hands on Nada’s waist and Nada’s grin grew smug. She put her own arms around Danica and leaned in. “We’re ahead of schedule, we could—”

She was interrupted by a kiss.

*Nada is nyo!Herzegovina

MontMace Moonlight

The moonlight brightens Vesna’s hair, turning the auburn locks into a fierce red befitting her fierce personality. Her tanned skin doesn’t fare as well though, looking too pale and washed out wherever the moonbeams hit. Even against stark white sheets, her skin seems too dull for such a vibrant person.

Danica lightly pushes some curls off Vesna’s shoulder, then traces a finger down her arm. Vesna doesn’t stir, so different from her constant moving when awake.

The colors, the movement, it’s all so off.

Danica leaves the bed then. Vesna at night is too different from Vesna during the day.

SerbMont Rose

Danica looked down at Novak’s hands. “What’s this?”

He gave her an irritated look. “It’s a flower. A rose. Several of them, actually. I’m sure you’ve seen flowers before, they’re pretty common.”

Now, she gave the irritated look. “I know what flowers are. Why are you giving it to me?”

“Because I like to give gifts?”

“Of a bouquet of roses? You?”

“Oh, shut up.”

Novak shoved the bouquet into her chest. If Danica didn’t know better, she would’ve said he was blushing. “Just take the damn flowers, already.”

She grabbed them, just so they didn’t fall to the floor.

SerbGre Gaudy

Novak stared down at the shirt he was wearing.

“Do you really think this looks good,” he asked Heracles.

“Have I ever led you wrong?”

“All the time.”

“How about with fashion?”

“Yeah, then too.”

Heracles ignored that. “It looks fine. Everyone will be talking about it.”

Novak looked down at his outfit once more. “I don’t know, purple and orange…”

Heracles crossed his arms, and imagined petting a cat to calm down. “Fine, I’ll wear it then.” He started unbuttoning Novak’s shirt, then paused. He raised an eyebrow. “Unless you want to take it all off and stay in?”

KosLiech Hypnotise

Aleksandra pulled excitedly on Lili’s hand, leading the smaller girl through the tents at the fair. “The fortune teller’s tent was right over here!”

Lili plodded along behind her, not as convinced that going to a fortune teller was a great idea. “I don’t know, Sandra. Do you really want to get hypnotized or something?”

Aleksandra looked over her shoulder. “To see my future? Uh, yeah! It’s gonna be awesome, don’t worry about it.”

The arrived in front of a purple tent with an eye on the front flap, still holding hands. Aleksandra gave Lili a smile. “It’ll be fine.”

BosTurk Broom

Bosnia swept up the colorful glass shards. Serbia, Wallachia, and Greece had broken one of Turkey’s vases. Again.

Boys, she scoffed in her thoughts as she carefully tipped the shards from the broom pan into a cloth bag to throw away later. No respect for their betters.

Because Turkey was in so many ways their better! Not only was he taller and older and more handsome than Serbia, Romania, and Greece could ever hope to be, he was also kind and gentle. Yet, he knew when to be tough.

The perfect man, she sighed, carrying the bag of shards away.

[seagull-laugh]

Your Gladstone Gander cosplay honestly makes me really happy each time I see it! It's so well done and beautiful. I want to get into cosplay sometime and you're one of my biggest inspirations for that, hehe. Ack, anyways, I just wanted to say how much I love all of your cosplays, each one looks amazing and looks so much like the characters!

Gosh I've spent so long trying to think of a relpy to this--- I'm just going to ramble

I've been cosplaying for about 8 years now and I'm afraid to say I find the community can be quite toxic at times, so it's nice hearing comments like this? Gosh It really is unexpected especially since I've been cosplayong Ducks...

I'm flattered I'm someone you're 'inspired' by, and if you ever do decide to take up the hobby I'll happily share all my tips and tricks with you- I do this hobby as a none profit thing and I would have loved having someone helo me when I first started out! I will however say my personal aim is to always do things as easily and cheaply as possible and I personally know so many people who are better craftsmen than me ahaha

I can't take credit for Gladstones design I think its purley because of @modmad crative work and great understanding of the character that the outfit I wear works so well, and they helped me a lot when it came to crafting him! I used to mainly Cosplay Anime character but the last two years I've been focusing on Human Versions of other creatures- because there's a certain amount of creative freedom that I just enjoy and not feeling that I have to strictly look a certain way it quite freeing (in my opinion)

SO SERIOUSLY- THANK YOU

----------

Working on a Cosplay can be quite hard, and each outfit I have always comes with it's own challenges- but Gladstone was ironically riddled with badluck- I've wanted to talk about it for a while so If you wanna keep reading I'm going to use this ask as an outlet of that information-! You might find it useful or entertaining! Who knows~

So the first was thw wig, I ordered a stright short wig and some extra wefts to sew into it to make his fringe. The wefts where tangled when they arrived- that's the image! So I spent two hours fixing that before I could sew them in place and cut the length!

It took 3 attempts and Two Weeķs to curl his wig! I really want to make a Blond one but.. I can't do that to myself

The coat took me months to sort and luckily my Twin sister helped me in the end because I'd given up!

Yellow dress pants are a Nightmare to find

I ordered the perfect yellow shoes online and after 4 months of the company constantly 're-sending' my parcel I cancelled the order. These shoes where perfect and in the 18 months since, I still havent found a pair even remotley similar to them! The replacemenr shoes arrived and my dog ate them- The Spats hide a HUGE bitemark on the side

I really can't make spats ahahaha

The fringe takes me close to an hour to style everytime I wear him

You can NOT sit down in a duckbutt lmao

But he's honestly one of my favourite characters to be and I love having the oportunity to be such an aweful goose!

Thank you so so much for the compliment! What a great start to my Dayyyyy~°♡

[pigsocks]

DUNGEONS? IN MY DRAGONS? IT’S MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THINK

WE START THIS EPISODE WITH THE FERRY ARRIVING WHEEEE

since Shaman has the best passive perception, he hears two people talking to a woman about a train (OH FUCK) left just out of town, and as far as they can tell through magic, the perpetrators were carrying a lot of alcohol (WHICH WE DID STEAL)..... which they were then able to track to the store that we sold it all to and they made a description of four people just like us

there are two guards coming closer and THEY AREN’T LOOKING AWAY OH FUCK so Shaman decides to cast Druidcraft to make a fake dog growling noise from behind them so they turn around

 Shaman ducks behind a large man in a ridiculous suit (secret stealth checks from the DM) and is completely hidden... the guard can’t see him and the other guard is still looking for the dog BUT WE GOT ON THE FERRY SAFE YAY

Gilly has a disguise kit!! “I should put on those fake glasses with a nose and moustache”

so apparently Shaman is 5′4″, Jack is 6′3″, Julienn is 5′2″ and Gilly is 5′9″, so wearing Julienn’s clothes is right out.... “You could wear Julienn’s regular shorts as like short shorts-” “HEY FUCK OFF” “I might shave off my beard into a handlebar moustache and put on a leather jacket or something?” - Shaman “SO YOU’D JUST LOOK LIKE A MOLESTER INSTEAD”

“Maybe we should just put a hat on ya?” 

everyone around us is looking very sombre, a tough crowd indeed... some of them are nervously smiling, with chests of goods to trade, but no one looks happy to be here

“We just gotta look downtrodden.” “Our trods are allllll the way down.”

the trip is half a day instead of a full day, but there is a guard walking around, the only one he’s giving side-eye to is Gilly (DAMN HELL ASS RACIST GUARDS)... we all decide to split up and Julienn goes to check out the gift shop

while in the gift shop a clock starts chiming and the shopkeeper starts changing out items! Starts putting away more mundane items (like candy and pocketwatches, I Heart Khurl shirts, etc.) and starts bringing out more exotic stuff (like human(??) skulls, bottles of fermented blood, one or two Introduction to Necromancy books)

one of her coworkers says, “have we crossed the border?” “Yep!” “Well, that’s when sales get good.” and so more people start coming in and poking around at those gifts WHICH ARE ILLEGAL TO SELL IN KHURL

one man on the deck just straight up raised a zombie and people are giving him a very wide berth (if anything, the mood on the ship has gotten even MORE dreary, save for the gift shop)

Gilly decides not to do anything, because she’s aware that if she does anything it will be ridiculous. After 6 hours, we dock!

PROBLEMS, THOUGH.... they want our IDs.... Shaman does not have anything, and Gilly, being a sea elf, also does not have anything official :’D Jack might have official paperwork, depending on how legit her old friends were... she’s from Khurl but spent a lot of time in Eternus so she’s probably pretty good, she is already in the system! Julienn’s been living that nomad life.... they have the fantasy equivalent of a fake ID

“How did your character get across the border to Benevol to accept this job in the first place?” all of us: UHHHHHHH

Gilly just straight up swam though ahaha, and Shaman turned into animals to cross borders!

so, Jack has real paperwork and Julienn fake paperwork, while the two elves have nothing....

Gilly is first, and the guy at the line looks displeased and directs her to another line.... and some of those people are in shackles :’D

there is a processing fee of 1 gold per person, and a tracker on an unidentified person going in...... the tracker is organic and looks like raw meat :’D

it hurts for a second and it splits, it crawls under her skin to its wrist before we lost track of it :’D SO GROSS (Gilly failed her constitution save to avoid it, alas, while Shaman just accepted his)

WELL NOW WE’RE IN CHOLERIA SO YAY it looks like not as modern New Orleans and it’s got kinda jazzy music

we see our first instance of legal undead folk, zombos seem to have a standard uniform of a white tux and blank face mask but the backs of their heads are a dead giveaway that they are not, in fact, human

there are no eyeholes in their masks but there’s a face painted on them :I WHICH, ARGUABLY, IS WORSE

there are skellies too but they do not wear clothes or masks, they’re just..... skellies

there are restaurants and one of them is just called “Joe’s Normal Diner” and all of them claim that they do not serve humanoid or undead meat :’D

we decide to look for a library or something for reference

ghouls are basically stronger and better humanoids as far as being undead goes, either made through necromancy or from a person killed by a ghast (a ghoul, but more powerful and capable of making more ghouls and as intelligent as humans, whereas regular ghouls are dumb). Undead that are not creatable by magic like necromancy (creatures like vampires) are rare in the city

so we head into a library and behind the front desk is a zombo.... Shaman and Julienn are the most literate SINCE WE HAVE THE HIGHEST INTELLIGENCE MODIFIERS AT 1 AND 1 RESPECTIVELY

the zombie is there to direct us but can’t understand exactly what we’re asking for (though he takes us to the history section), so he gets a Tabaxi (!) from the back room! “Hey so are you guys related” “OKAY RACIST YOU GET ONE”

he pulls out 4 books and skims through them, one of them is about the history of Sanguina and on the last page there is something about Sircus, the current mayor’s name, Sircus Pher!! He goes to another page in another book and there was a man named Sircus who fought in the war against Geraldine; he was from what would become Sylveria and waged a campaign against her which ended in catastrophic failure (which was winning at the time), it was an army of skellies and zomboes and from behind everyone else Geraldine popped out on a skeletal dagron and KILLED ERRBODY

(in the book there is a description of the dagron and a debate between two academics on what it may have been.... was it a skeleton that Geraldine was making fly? Or something else called a Ravener, which has technically not ever been considered to exist, it’s something that’s similar to a lich but instead of putting their soul into an object they take the souls of others so that theirs can remain safe and untouched, in its own body)

it was referred to as the Battle of Fort Longtooth and it’s where you can find dinosaurs :D It was the year 660, and we are in the year 1200

we ask the librarian cat to give us an oral rendition of Eternus’ history

Eternus started about 375 years ago, and is the only place to welcome necromancy; they severed ties with the old kingdom and Benevol declared them heretical and could not force them back into servitude

after 150 years after their independence that Geraldine released the virus that killed off magic and then they closed their borders. Then they all knew necromancy (”why necromancy? Nooobody knows~~”)

instead of the trains they use the Warren of Hands, a series of caves lined with zombies......... you’re basically slowly crowdsurfing from place to place, though it is faster than plain old walking :’D

every city is run by a mayor and a council, the mayors will meet and convene and vote if there are bigger issues, making Eternus the only democracy

during the first war (before Eternus was independent), Geraldine launched her attack from Phlegmat, they don’t like outsiders there and there are a lot of monsters roaming around. the majority of the tourists to that area are archaeologists, thrill seekers and treasure hunters (and cultists)

“What brought you here?” - Gilly, “I had to leave... no one really comes to Eternus.” 

Not a lot of people come to Eternus, there’s a bit of a population problem here, actually... the number of living people is dwindling but the dead keep increasing, about a 1:1 ratio of living to undead (many households have at least 1 undead servant)

librarian cat is named William and he has been very helpful, so we thank him

every person in Eternus just knows necromancy, but to actually answer how is punishable by death :’D

“now I’m super curious about the place William told us not to go to” “GDI COME ON” - good ol’ schmuck bait :’D

culturally it’s a taboo to acknowledge the undead, like don’t point at them, just go about your business as usual! It is suggested to avoid sapient undead since they are likely to trick you into surrendering bodily parts and fluids

YOU CAN GET RENTAL ZOMBOS AND HORSES but it’s recommended to not take them out of Eternus. Zombos do not need to eat (but will if freed), but ghouls and vampires do

THIS PLACE IS SO GROSS but we are making all the jokes “YES I AM HUMAN I LOVE TO EAT STEAKS THAT ARE MADE FROM REAL COWS” “MMM I ENJOY CHEWING WITH MY OWN TEETH”

this is the hottest country aside from the desert but hey there’s a lot of chocolate here - “Geraldine and the Chocolate Phylactery” - Shaman

Sircus’ mask was unpainted, with no face, and we got directions from a masked weirdo to a place where a carpenter makes masks, we see people walking in without masks and leaving without them

it looks more like a shop once inside but it doesn’t really have items hanging out, it’s just a room with a counter, cash register and a person with a mask

the clerk mentions that sometimes she is commissioned to make blank masks, where the people take them home and paint it themselves

we decide to get masks and now we’re debating which ones we want

the lady shows us a mask and it’s super diesed and it changes colour and shit!! It costs 100 gold though JESUS CHRIST Gilly really wants it but I s2g Gilly do not rob this establishment

Jack and Shaman got plain generic masks (Shaman has one with a human woman’s face and Jack’s is of a half-elf woman), whereas Gilly got one that was slightly more expensive but of smouldering tiefling lady... Julienn decides to go with one that’s like two butterfly faces together, sorta??

Shaman decides to trade his in for a swamp schlogg mask xDD “Hmmmm well now this mask is kinda plain....................”

 Julienn decides to cast Detect Magic on these masks (they’re clean though) and can see the trackers in Gilly and Shaman’s biceps... they give one a poke and it moves around (”EEEW”)

“Let’s see where we can hang out with the undead?” “I DON’T THINK I WANT TO TRY THAT”

we’re outside a club and Gilly wants to go clubbing real bad but none of us want to join her..... “Guuuuys, if no one comes with me I’m gonna get real bored >:C” “That’s the most threatening thing I’ve ever heard a player threaten their party with” - DM

we decide to go to Charlie’s Chocolatorium, and there are vampires on the waitstaff! A waitress hands us a menu (which is rare), and it lists things like spaghetti and meatballs (”ask your server about our types of meat!”), spaghetti with chocolate sauce, a chocolate bar (super expensive in other countries!), chocolate blood, chocolate ice cream (super expensive!!), a chocolate sandwich, a chocolate burger, chocolate soup, a platter of chocolate covered fruits, some wine and other drinks, etc.

we opted to get 3 plates of chocolate spaghetti sans meatballs and a platter of chocolate covered fruit, though the waitress kinda..... hoodwinks him into getting desert schlogg’s milk!!

we get our spaghetti and our fruit platter and the schlogg’s milk is like super fancy and hella authentic AND WE ARE POOR GODDAMN WE ARE SPENDING SO MUCH MONEY

we’re talking about the Warren of Hands and how much we’d rather NOT take that route (debating on whether we should take skeletal horses) and we’re just laughing about how it’d just be this horrible roller coaster of hands, and at one point someone would probably start crying and that it should be like those roller coasters where they take a picture.... another thing that I have been asked to draw

[lametooru]

tag games! 

im always so slow to do these so heres a bunch of them bc they are super fun to do and i love learning things about my mutuals , thanks to everyone who’s tagged me ❤

20 Qs Tag

tagged by @hwangsrenjun 

rules: answer 20 questions, then tag 20 bloggers you want to get to know better

name: kingkanoke

nicknames: tan

height: 5′5

orientation: het

nationality: british/thai

favorite season: autumn !!!! 

favorite flower: forget-me-nots they’re so pretty 

favorite scent: fresh laundry soOOSOO good

favorite color/s: like any shade of blue 

favorite animal: cheetahs and dolphins 

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: ice coffee + tea

average sleep hours: i used to be able to run on 5/6 hrs but apparently now i need like 7/8

dog or cat person: love both but if i had to choose ... doggies

favorite fictional character(s): literally so fucking many but rn im brainwashed by marvel so : thor, peter, steve my BEST boys 

number of blankets you sleep with: 1

dream trip: korea, jpn, cali, nyc, greece, italy, bali, new zealand, australia lmao like everywhere

blog created: 2012 im a veteran on here kiddos ive seen the rise and falls of whole civilisations 

number of followers: more than i thought i would get tbf

random fact: i would chose death over eating celery like honestly even the smell alone idk it really urks me 

get to know me ok

Rules: Answer 30 questions and then tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better

Tagged by:@kkimingyu

nicknames: tan

gender: female

zodiac: pisces !!! wheres all my emo fish people at c;

height: 5′4/5 like im in between there 

age: 19 ohymgod im so old im not even gunna be a teen anymore next yr thats goss :(

time: 10:04pm

favorite bands/artists: hmmm im gunna answer outside kpop ... i listen to panic! at the disco, fall out boy, rihanna, britney spears lmao im so basic i know aksjhfasl i also have a lot of misc songs that i really like so my music taste is just all over the place

song stuck in my head: its legit just the the theme from parks and recs bc im watching it rn 

last movie I saw: it was literally black butler book of murder lmafooooooooo ffs can my weeb ass tone it down pls

last thing I googled: ‘why am i sneezing so much’ 

other blogs: @fyvoltronld (100% vld stuff) and my newly made art blog @tnkisu

do I get asks: i used to get quite a lot of requests when i was an anime blog lool

why I chose my username: bc mingyu is uwu :3

following: 210

the average amount of sleep: 7 ish

lucky no: 3 bc i was born on 3rd march 

what am I wearing: grey joggers and over sized tee lol see me at the next fashion week pls

dream job: illustrator / graphic designer in the entertainment industry somwhere

dream trip: okaay lol here we go: italy esp positano!!, california, nyc, hawaii, new zealand, japan, korea, hong kong, canada dream big i guess

favorite food: literally craving roast duck n rice so much rn also ice cream if that counts! and noodles mmMMMMmmmm

instruments: i used to play the trumpet but i quit when i was like 13

sports: i played volleyball for almost 2 yrs but stopped bc uni and i used to cycle loads too (and yes its bc of anime lmao whats new)

hair color: dark brown, blackish like ur normal asian hair

eye color: matches my hair im so boring oof

most iconic song: um if u seek amy by miss britney spears? she didnt have to snap that hard

languages: english and like 40% of thai lol im losing it all 

random fact: i LOVE dressing gowns if im not outside im probably wearing one, even in the summer theyre just so comfy i own 3

describe urself as aesthetic things ! : the buzz of a busy restaurant, 3am talks with your friends, going into the city at night and being surrounded by lights, the warmth of the sun hitting your skin, your favourite people smiling at you, reading a book on a cloudy day, that one annoying itch you can’t quite seem to scratch 

˗ˏˋ 11 question tag ˊˎ˗

thank you for tagging me @jisoostar & @gyuofficial

rules: tag some people you would like to get to know better.

how much sleep did you get last night? don’t lie to me.

9 i think.. its the summer holidays so i sleep for a looooooong time

do you use any lip balm or lip tint? what are you using?

lip balm all the way aint no time for ashy lips lol i use the cherry carmex lip balm  

tell me about your guilty pleasure!

hmm maybe those slice of life animes that r just over the top, a bit dumb and funny with no serious plot lines or anything 

what’s your favorite subject at school and why?

art bc i was shit at everything else ahaha....

pick 5 idols to be your classmates!

oKAy : kevin (the boyz), key (shinee), hoshi (svt) , mingyu (svt), hyungwon (monsta x) 

experience the hunger games or the purge?

the purge bc i live in the most eventual village in england  

tell me your favorite food without saying what it is. describe it.

mmmmmm....a meat from an animal with wings paired with white grains from a plant and a hot liquid on the side (this makes it sound gross aslfjaslkf)

what language do you have an interest in learning?

spanish, mandarin, korean, italian too mayb

you found a magic lamp and the genie will grant you three wishes. what do you have in mind? please, don’t ask for more wishes.

the ability to draw whatever i wanted to the way i envisioned it in my head (correct proportions, depth of view, shadows vs highlights etc) 

to be able to be fluent in all languages i wanted including reading & writing

have flawless skin for the rest of my life 

pick three of your favorite cuisines!

not being biased but thai is my number 1 lolololol

japanese 

chinese esp dim sum 

hey, the last question is a PSA. you’re precious and i love you. reply with: “i’m precious and i love me too”.

getting on my last uwus smh :(  thank u, im precious and i love me too ~

tagging: @kkimingyu @cafewoozi  @jeongahn @wonhuis  @himeaegyo @jeong-hanie​ @jisoostar​ @bbymarklee @ilxu (feel free to do them all, one or non ^^) 

[lazyfox411]

Not You, Not Me, but Us.

So I wanted to whump keith but then it turned into this whole long angsty established klance 14k+ fic that I spent months working on....yeah...somebody be proud of me lol its the longest thing ive ever written and I'm finally done!!!! thanks to @hastalalaterkeith7152​ and @chasethethace223​ for sticking with me throughout this mess XD

a slightly more coherent summary: while Lance is away on a business trip, Keith unwittingly shares a kiss with someone else. Lance doesn't take to this kindly, and throws Keith out in the cold. Unfortunately for Keith, bad people roam the streets at night.

warnings I guess for violence and injury even though I'm bad at writing fight scenes ahaha and alcohol use I guess, also a kiss and interactions that could be considered non-con, basically just use your own discretion my lovelies <3 id love to answer any questions you guys might have about this story

length is 14467ish words 

“Come on, Keith, don't give me that look,” Lance pleaded, doing his best to avoid his boyfriend’s puppy dog eyes.

“But I'm going to miss you.”

“And I’ll miss you, too. But I’ll be back before you know it. You won’t even realize I'm gone.”

“Are you sure about that?” Keith asked, hefting Lance’s suitcase from the trunk of the car. “It feels like you packed everything but the kitchen sink. Just how long are you planning on staying?” he teased.

“I won’t be able to go anywhere at all if I miss my flight. Hurry up, I still need to get my luggage checked.” Lance pulled his scarf tight against the sharp January wind, and scurried towards the entrance, Keith just steps behind him.

Keith tried not to be clingy. He really did. But Lance was one of the few people in his life who hadn't left him, and Keith hated saying goodbye, even if it was only for a few days while Lance travelled for work.

“You need to let go of my hand now,” Lance informed him, chuckling.

Keith let go, then promptly pulled Lance in for a tight hug. “I love you.”

“I love you too, angel,” Lance murmured. “Just a couple of days, okay? It’ll be fine.”

Keith nodded. “Have a good trip. And be safe,” he called after Lance had shouldered his carry-on and strided to the gate.

He and Lance didn't live together, though they had been talking about it for some time now, but they spent almost all of their free time together at one of their apartments. When Keith parked the car- Lance’s car, that Lance had lent him while he was away- and entered his apartment, he found it dark and completely devoid of life. A thin sheen of dust covered the furniture, and this time Lance wasn't here to scold him for neglecting to clean it. Keith didn't need to counter with the excuse he had no time to clean, he was always working or spending time with Lance. He flopped onto the couch and closed his eyes. Maybe he could catch up on some sleep. Work wasn't just an excuse, it was the truth. He’d had night shifts at the pharmacy for the past week.

The next morning, he crossed off Monday on the calendar, and put a little star on Friday, the day Lance would return. Then he sighed, and got ready for work. At least he didn't have night shifts this week. And he had something to look forward to at the end.

By the time Friday evening rolled around, Keith was exhausted. All he’d done was work; he hadn't declined any extra hours since he had nothing else to do. He was more than content now to let his body meld to the couch, lungs huffing out a relaxing breath. Only three hours until he had to pick up Lance at the airport. They’d texted a little bit, but Lance was busy with meetings most of the day and Keith had work, and the difference in time zones made the whole thing a jumbled mess. It would be good to talk to Lance for real, face to face.

The sound of a notification from his phone woke Keith from a peaceful nap. He searched for Lance’s name in anticipation, but it was a text from Shiro.

Shiro> Party tonight. Just a couple university friends. Want to come? I can give u a ride

Keith> Can’t. I need to pick up Lance in an hour

Shiro> Bring him with u

Keith> He’ll probably just want to rest

Shiro> Ok then bring him home and then I’ll pick u up

Keith frowned. Something was up. Shiro was never this pushy.

Keith> I wouldn't want to go without Lance

Shiro> Hang on I'm going to call you

“Great,” Keith muttered. He picked up on the first ring.

“I’m sure Lance wouldn't mind if you came without him,” Shiro said immediately. “You deserve a break. You’ve been working all week.”

Keith sighed. “Why do you want me to come so bad?”

Shiro paused before saying, “Allura is going to be there.”

“Of course,” Keith groaned, “and you want me to keep you from making a fool of yourself.”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Yeah, no,” Keith replied bluntly. “I need to pick up Lance, and I am not going to a party without him. Find somebody else to put on Shiro-the-Love-Struck-Blubbering-Idiot duty.”

“Come on, Keith, you’re like my wingman. Plus I have nobody else.”

“What about Hunk?”

“Busy.”

“Pidge?”

“Also busy.”

“Well, I'm busy, too,” Keith said in frustration. “Allura is just going to have to love you for the hopeless romantic that you are.”

“Thanks a lot,” Shiro said sarcastically.

“Anytime,” Keith replied, matching his tone perfectly. The call ended.

He was just about to leave for the airport when he got another text.

Lance> Hey babe. Flight got cancelled bc of the weather. I was really hoping to see you tonight :( but the next flight out isn't until tomorrow

Keith sank back into the couch and dared a peek out the window, where a few shimmering white flakes were gliding from the sky.

Keith> Ok no problem. Just text me when you need to be picked up

He sent the message and pouted at his phone. One more night. He could wait one more night. Couldn't he?

Keith> I miss you

Lance replied with a collection of carefully selected emojis, and Keith sighed. There was a tight, cold feeling worming its way into his chest. Maybe he should get a cat, a goldfish, something to cure the loneliness bubbling inside him. After a full week of keeping to himself, waiting for Lance, only to have his arrival put off by another painstaking day...Keith was sick and tired of being alone. It was that thought that made him open Shiro’s contact.

Keith> Change of plans. Come pick me up whenever

The house was enormous, set on a lake, the driveway a mile long and revealing through the trees a colorfully lit balcony that overlooked the glistening water. The air outside freezing, filled with the muffled sounds of loud music, but upon stepping over the threshold, Keith was hit with a blast of noise and heat that was generated by people pressed together, laughing and dancing and drinking.

“I thought you said only a few people.” Keith had to yell to be heard over all the music and voices.

Shiro just grinned and shrugged apologetically. He had lied.

Of course. Ever since enrolling for med school, Shiro seemed to have changed, dragging Keith to parties and outings, only to have Keith play third wheel for him and Allura, whom Shiro had been head over heels for ever since discovering she lived on campus nearby him.

Shiro was immediately pulled from Keith’s side by a boisterous group of partiers, leaving Keith to be jostled mercilessly through the crowd. People bumped his elbows, brushed against his shoulders, and breathed their smelly alcohol breath in his face. He couldn't see where he was going, the room was dark one second then alive with neon lights the next. The music blared, bass rattling through his bones and piercing his eardrums, warping the room around him into a colorfully numb, tripped out alternate reality. It was too much. All he wanted was to relax, not get stuck in the middle of this, heart pounding and chest tightening. He had to get out.

He had to get out he had to get out he had to get out.

Keith shoved his way to the edge of the room, away from the lights, away from the people. He pressed himself flat to the wall, wishing wildly for Lance. Lance knew huge social gatherings made him anxious, Lance knew he hated to be surrounded like this. If Lance was here, he’d gently take Keith by the hand, lead him away, somewhere quiet, somewhere safe, and sit with him until he could calm down. But Lance wasn’t here. Even Shiro was nowhere to be seen.

People were starting to look at him weird. Keith did his best to smile politely, and ducked away from the confused and somewhat disgusted faces, finding himself stuck behind yet another wall of people.

“Excuse me,” he squeaked, pressing through. And then he spotted it. A doorway. An escape.

It was slightly ajar, and whatever was behind was shrouded in darkness, but anywhere was better than where he was now, Keith figured. He pushed into the door, which delivered him into a narrow hallway. The air here was less stuffy, still stale, but contrasted by the cold, fresh breeze streaming in through an open window. Keith leaned his face on the cool glass, breath fogging as he gulped the night air like a drug, like it was his lifeblood. The music and voices were still loud, but not so glaring, separated by the door Keith slammed shut. Slowly, his heart rate decreased to something more acceptable.

While one problem had been solved, it was quickly becoming apparent that another had been created. Keith was essentially trapped; there was no way he was going back the way he’d come. People were screaming and now something glass was shattering. He looked around for another exit. The window was out of the question, it was way too high off the ground to make a safe jump. There was a door to his left, but upon turning the handle he found it locked. He heard a toilet flush from inside and decided he didn't want to go in there anyway. That left the stairs at the end of the hallway.

The damp, musty smell of basement got stronger with every step. Keith nearly tripped down the stairs when he heard a series of hair-raising, ungodly cries coming from what could only be a bedroom somewhere.

When he dropped off the staircase he was enveloped by a large room, stained white carpet underneath him and ductwork protruding from the low ceiling above. His shadow danced around the faded wallpaper, cast by the dim glow of a lamp that sat amongst the scattered furniture.

It was quiet here, or quieter. The commotion upstairs had faded to background noise, replaced by an old Pink Floyd album playing from a CD player. Keith grabbed a seat on a sinking, tattered old sofa, sparing a quick look around. The room was vacant, save himself and a couple seated on a couch against the far wall, making out. They didn't even stop to glance at him, and Keith sighed with relief. Maybe he could hide out here until things died down, then just head home. He had no idea what he’d been thinking. Coming to a party, when even he himself knew he was a loner.

He was a loner, but he didn't want to be alone. If only Lance were here.

“Mind if I join you?”

The voice clawed at Keith’s already shredded nerves and he let out a sharp gasp. He jerked his head around to see who it belonged to, and found himself looking into the jarring blue eyes of a stranger. He smiled at Keith, revealing a set of dazzling teeth.

“Uh, sure,” Keith said. He really wasn't in the mood for company.

The boy sat next to him, a little closer than Keith would have preferred, but he didn't say anything. This boy, or young man, Keith deduced to be about his age, maybe a little older, smelled like mint.

“Hey, are you okay?” There was that stupid display of teeth again.

“Yeah, I'm fine,” Keith said quickly. “Just, um, parties aren't really my thing. Especially not this one.”

“Huh. I guess I'm a pretty bad host, then, aren't I?”

Keith felt his face go beet red. “You...host? This is...your?” He stammered, eyes going wide.

“Haha,” the guy laughed good-naturedly, “no worries, gorgeous. You didn't hurt my feelings. But hey, look at me, still being a terrible host. Can I get you anything? A drink?”

“Yeah, okay,” Keith said. Maybe that was just what he needed. His nerves were about to jump off a ledge, and this guy wasn’t helping, with his unnaturally perfect teeth and pointed chin and shoulder slapping and long blonde hair, so blonde it was almost white.

The guy, Keith still hadn't caught his name, vanished gracefully up the stairs. Keith searched for an exit again, coming up empty-handed. Well, he supposed, being stuck with one person is a lot better than being stuck with a hundred.

He returned surprisingly quickly, carrying two glasses and an assortment of bottles. He poured them each a drink and handed one to Keith, who hesitantly sniffed the sweet-scented liquid and then took a drink. He had expected the alcohol to rake down his throat, but instead it slid down easily and settled in his belly, almost immediately kindling a slow burn.

“So, what do you do?”

“Huh?” Keith shook himself from his thoughts.

“You know, for work. Like a job.”

“Oh, right. I work at the pharmacy, in town. Mostly stocking shelves.” The flush that had finally begun to recede from Keith’s cheeks was returning. He hoped it sounded like a boring job. If he was boring enough, maybe he would be left alone.

“Neat.”

No, Keith thought, not neat. I’m boring. Go back to your party, dude, you’re creeping me out. It was true, this guy, Keith still had no idea who he was, was even closer than before.

“You really don't want to be here, I can tell.”

Keith blanched. “What? No, no, it’s not that, I uh...”

“It’s okay. I get it. You've probably got way cooler things to do with your Friday night.”

Keith couldn't help but scoff out a laugh at that. “Are you kidding? The only reason I’m here is because Shiro practically dragged me. Do you know Shiro?” Keith asked, just in case. He should know who Shiro was, Shiro had said the owner of the house was his friend, hadn't he?

“Of course,” the blond-haired boy rolled his eyes. “Everybody knows Shiro. How long have you known him, though? I haven't seen you around campus.”

“No,” Keith cleared his throat, “I don't go to the university. Shiro and I have known each other our whole lives, pretty much.”

“Your name is Keith, isn't it? I think Shiro’s talked about you before.”

“Yeah, that's me.” Keith smiled a little bit. Somebody actually knew who he was. He wasn't some loser who was only here to be a third wheel.

“He asked you to come because of Allura, didn't he?”

“He did,” Keith laughed softly, “how’d you know?”

“You’re not the only one he drags places. And I gotta say, Allura is a nice girl. Not my type, though. I’ve...got my eye on somebody else now.” He flashed his sparkling teeth again.

Keith felt his ears go red for some reason, and he looked down at his lap. He was surprised to find that he was holding an empty glass. When had that happened? Had it happened more than once tonight? He couldn't recall. They’d been talking for a while.

“I can get you another one,” the guy piped up. Keith made a point to find out his name soon.

Something deep inside him told him that maybe this was a bad idea. Something was off. But he felt warm inside. He wasn't anxious anymore. He felt okay.

“Sure, I’ll have another.”

When he had replenished their glasses, Keith decided to ask, “Hey, what’s your nam-”

“Can I ask you something?” He was cut short.

“Okay.”

“Do you think,” the guy set his arm on the back of the sofa, strangely close to Keith’s shoulders, “that some people, even though they don't know each other that well, are just...really good together?”

Keith sat quietly, sipping his drink. He was confused. What was this guy talking about?

“You mean like Shiro and Allura?” Keith asked.

There were the teeth again, paired with a somewhat exasperated chuckle. “I guess, but I was thinking of someone else, someone...closer...” he trailed off, eyes rising and settling on Keith’s. It was unnerving. Like a tiger locking onto its prey.

Suddenly there were fingertips resting on his cheek, burning into his skin. Keith froze, eyes wide as an owl’s. The fire inside of him flickered, then was doused to smoke. The guy was leaning in. He was leaning in and he was kissing him.

Keith couldn't move. He was stuck, time had stopped, he was trapped and he was kissing someone. Someone who wasn’t Lance. Why didn’t he stop? Why wouldn't he move? His limbs didn't want to cooperate, his head was filled with white noise, he was frozen in shock, he couldn’t even breathe. He couldn’t get free. Why was this lasting so long, why couldn’t he make it stop?

When their lips finally broke apart, Keith was still petrified. He couldn't figure out what had happened or why. What had just occurred? What had brought it on?

The fingertips were coming at him again, probing his face, searching for another kiss.

“No,” Keith forced the word out of his mouth. “No, I...I can’t. I have a boyfriend. I have…” He had to get out. He had been wrong. One person was way, way worse than a hundred.

Keith stood up, fighting against the room as it spun around him. Whatever he’d been drinking was catching up to him. He needed out. Stairs. The stairs would get him out.

He darted up the stairs, feet catching and sending him sprawling. He shakily rose and continued the climb. He didn’t look back. He didn’t want to.

Upstairs, the crowd had thinned to a more tolerable throng. Maybe it was late, or early into the next morning, Keith couldn’t tell. Time wasn’t exactly working for him right now.

“Shiro!” he cried, spotting his friend’s undercut and broad shoulders.

“Heeeey, Keifth,” Shiro dragged out the words, and his pronunciation was more than a little off. Great.

There was a girl latched into Shiro's arm, and she appeared to be the only thing keeping him from toppling flat on his face. Judging by her undeniably beautiful dark skin and silvery hair, this was probably the Allura that Shiro never shut up about. So he had managed to woo her without Keith’s help after all.

“I don’t fthink really I can drive, man,” Shiro slurred, “I’m have to thpend the night here.”

“Yes,” Allura chimed, “I really don’t think he’s in any state to be behind the wheel. Will you be able to get home, Keith? That is your name, right?”

“Yeah,” Keith said. He honestly wasn’t sure which question he was answering. Damn Shiro, standing there with rosy cheeks and glassy eyes, stupid grin plastered on his face. Making him come here, only to ditch him and get hammered and leave him stranded without a ride home.

“Goodnight, Shiro,” Keith muttered. “Nice to meet you, Allura.” He turned on his heel, and didn’t even care if anyone stared when he slammed the door on his way out.

His first thought was to call Lance. Lance could come pick him up. But no, no he couldn’t because he was away, and if Keith called him then he’d know he was at this party and maybe would figure out what had happened, that Keith had kissed somebody, somebody he definitely should not have.

A cab was his next option. He quickly found a number on his phone and punched it in, then sat down on the front step to wait. He'd rather freeze to death out here than go back in that house ever again. Though surprisingly, he didn’t feel all that cold. He was shivering, but he wasn’t cold. It was a strange feeling.

Keith woke the next morning nursing a slight headache. He cracked his eyes open blearily and found he was draped unceremoniously on the couch, jacket and shoes still on. He forced himself to the bathroom and splashed some cold water over his face, and as he reached into the medicine cabinet for aspirin, last night’s events came flooding back to him.

He looked at his reflection in the mirror. He looked dirty. He felt dirty. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the cool glass of the mirror, but now all he could see were those horribly perfect teeth. What the hell had he done? What the hell had he done? What was he going to tell Lance? Keith groaned. He didn’t want to deal with this right now. He didn’t want to deal with this at all. Sleep beckoned him, and he yearned to go, to fall asleep and forget this entire week had ever happened. The shrill buzz of his text alert made him wince.

Lance> Good news!!! Planes are flying today!!! My flight should arrive around 2pm, do u think u can pick me up?

Keith> Yeah ill be there

Lance> Can’t wait to see you!!!<3

Keith let out a sound somewhere between a whine and a growl, shuffling back to the couch. He wanted to just crawl in bed, but he knew if he did that there was a good chance he would never get up. What was he going to do? He couldn’t tell Lance. Could he? Lance would flip. Or would he? Lance seemed to freak out over trivial matters, but when things got serious so was Lance.

Keith didn’t know what to do. He was tired and confused and achy, and through his muddled thoughts he wondered if maybe he was making too big a deal of this. After all, he hadn’t been the one doing the kissing. He’d been kissed, yes, but he hadn’t started it, he hadn’t condoned it, he hadn’t asked for it. Surely, Lance would understand that. Wouldn’t he?

Waiting in the airport terminal, Keith felt sick. His hands were clammy and wouldn’t stop shaking, he was cold and queasy, sweating through his jacket but shivering as nerves churned in his stomach. He still hadn’t decided what he was going to say to Lance.

“Keith!” Lance's smile, though bittersweet to Keith, brought a sense of warmth and comfort. Lance jogged from the gate, dodging cranky travelers and luggage carts, and let his own luggage fall to the ground so he could wrap Keith in his arms and swing him around. The room was spinning when Lance set him down. He must have paled, because Lance seemed to notice something was off. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Keith replied quickly. He snuggled into Lance's embrace, breathing in his familiar scent. Not mint. Better than mint; he smelled like Lance.

“You sure? You don’t look so good,” Lance murmured, pressing a hand to Keith's forehead to check for a fever that was non-existent.

“I just missed you.”

“I missed you, too. So much. And I’m so glad I'm back, because the whole time I was gone there was nothing more I wanted to see in the world than your face.” Lance smiled sheepishly when Keith didn’t respond. “Sorry. Too sappy?”

Keith shook his head. “Lance, I… I have something to tell you.”

“What is it?” Lance asked gently. He was still smiling, encouragingly, sweetly. Keith ran his gaze over Lance's beautiful, perfect teeth, the teeth he loved to see, the teeth that would never be pushy, or creepy, that would always care about him. He stared into the sea of Lance's eyes, getting utterly lost as waves rocked the pathetic little raft he was floating on. Waves of love, unconditional, undying love, they were drowning him. But it was so warm. So safe. Not like the warmth he'd felt last night, no, this felt good, this felt right, not forced, not rushed. Lance loved him. Nobody else loved him, not like Lance did. Nobody else had ever really loved him.

What if, after what had happened, Lance didn’t want to love him anymore? Keith didn’t think he could handle that. He couldn’t take the chance. He couldn’t lose the best thing he'd ever had.

“What is it?” Lance repeated, frowning as he watched Keith space out right before his eyes.

“Smile again? Please?”

“Uh, sure,” Lance chuckled, parting his lips awkwardly. Keith was sure. Those were truly the most gorgeous teeth he'd ever seen.

“You have really nice teeth,” Keith said.

Lance smiled wider. “Thanks. Now, I don’t know about you, but I am totally ready to go home.”

Keith nodded. Lance picked up his bags and put an arm around Keith's shoulders as they started walking. “Do you want to hang out at my place?” he asked.

Keith gulped. That didn’t sound like a good idea right now. “I’m…kinda tired. It’s been a long week.”

“No kidding,” Lance huffed dramatically. “That’s no problem though, I have some notes to go over anyway. Stupid business presentations…” he then launched into a detailed recap of his trip. Keith listened without really hearing, leaning into Lance's warmth, knowing full well he didn’t deserve to. He didn’t deserve Lance's affection. He didn’t deserve Lance.

Guilt. It had settled in Keith's stomach like a ton of bricks, hard, heavy, and painful. Storms roiled in the back of his mind, rumbling feelings of doubt and shame. He told Lance everything. Everything. And in turn, Lance was open and honest with him. So why, all the times that he'd tried to say something, to call, send a text, why had his fingers frozen, his voice stopped, lungs shriveled away inside his hollow, guilty chest? It wasn’t even his fault. He hadn’t been doing the kissing. But he hadn’t pulled away either.

It was eating him up inside, stomach twisting into knots and gnawing at his ribs like a lion licking its kill clean. Keith couldn’t stand it. He tried to tell himself he'd done nothing wrong, that he wasn’t at fault, but then, surely it must be? He couldn’t bring himself to admit to Lance he'd done something wrong. Because then Lance might not want him. And that rejection would be even worse than the one he was feeling right now.

He lasted about a week. Until he was shaking because he couldn’t eat. He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t function, knowing he'd done something that could hurt the person he loved most in the world, and he still hadn’t come clean about it.

Keith rolled over in bed and picked up his phone to check the time. 2:36 am. Sleep wouldn’t come, he was beyond tired now, practically zombified and just roaming the streets under a barely human disguise. What would Lance do if he were me? he asked himself, like he'd done countless times before. And he knew. Lance would feel awful. He'd be disgusted with himself, just as Keith was now. But he would be honest. Keith opened his phone again.

Keith> Hey r u awake?

Lance> Barely. Whats up

Keith> Can I tell you something

Lance> You can tell me anything babe. U alright?

Keith froze for what felt like the millionth time that week. You weren’t supposed to break up over the phone. Not that that was what he wanted. No, that was the last thing he would ever want. But it was easily what might happen.

Keith> I think it needs to be in person. Can I come over

He knew full well it was late. Or, technically early. But this couldn’t wait. Not any longer.

Lance> Sure

There was only one bus that made a run at 3 in the morning, and Keith was the only one on it. He paid the driver and stumbled out onto the curb in front of Lance's apartment. If he didn’t do this soon he was going to be sick.

As soon as Lance opened the door, he knew something was wrong. Keith's eyes were red, not teary yet, but on the way.

“What’s wrong?” Lance asked immediately, leading Keith to the couch and sitting close beside him. Keith shied away.

“I…I need to tell you something, Lance,” Keith choked out, struggling to stifle the thick layer of emotion that was stuck in his throat.

Lance looked like he was almost scared, rubbing Keith's arm. “What is it, baby?”

The words came out in a rushed, stuttered mess, and once they started Keith couldn’t make them stop. “While you were-were a-away, Friday night, Sh-Shiro d-dragged me to this stupid party, and, and I told him, I told him I didn’t want to go, especially not without you, but he kept saying something about being a wingman, and I don’t know, I went, Lance. I went, and there was this guy, and he…we…kissed.”

Keith felt his heart clench when the hand on his arm stopped stroking, and Lance's face fell. There was a new expression there, one he hadn’t quite seen before. Hesitant anger, festering sadness, overwhelming confusion, all stemming from betrayal. And above all, hurt. It was a physical pain, beating throughout his entire being, to see Lance hurt. It was excruciating to know he'd caused it.

“You…what?” Lance nearly whispered.

“Lance, please, I'm sorry,” Keith pleaded, taking his boyfriend’s hand, “it was an accident, I didn’t mean for it to happen, I swear.”

“You don’t just accidentally kiss someone, Keith.” Lance's eyes were cold. His voice shook.

“It’s not my fault, Lance. He kissed me!”

“Well, did you at least try to stop him?”

“I couldn’t! I don’t know, it was like I was frozen, I couldn’t move, I didn’t know what to do! It didn’t mean anything, Lance, you have to believe me. And it’s just been eating me up inside, I had to tell you, I'm sorry.”

“So the only reason you told me was because you couldn’t deal with the guilt.” It wasn’t a question. Lance jerked his hand away, expression steeling over.

“No, that’s not what I meant, I…” Keith desperately searched for any hint of compassion in Lance's features. It was fruitless. “I'm sorry! I didn’t want any of this to happen, Lance, I didn’t! I love you! You know that!”

Lance shook his head in exasperation, staring up at the ceiling with a humorless laugh. “I knew it was too good to be true.”

“Too good…to…what? What are you talking about?”

“You,” Lance waved his hands between them, “us! This! This perfect relationship, with the perfect person. It was too good to be true, because you can’t just go around kissing random people without meaning it! That’s not how life works, Keith! What about when we kiss, does that mean anything to you?”

“Lance, of course it does! It was just a kiss, okay? What we have is real, that was just…just…” Keith felt tears sting the corners of his eyes. His throat prickled. What was this? What was he doing? He wasn’t a crier.

“I don’t want to hear it.” Lance wasn’t usually a crier either, and yet here they were.

“What do you want to hear, then? I'm sorry? I’ll say it a million times, Lance, from the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.”

“I can’t believe you! You think I'm just going to bend over backwards because you apologized? I'm not that shallow. I'm not you.”

Anger and pain flared in Keith's belly. Couldn’t Lance see how awful he felt about this? Why was it so hard to forgive? It was one stupid kiss, and this was one stupid, stupid fight…

“I'm not perfect, okay, Lance? Surprise! I have flaws. I make bad decisions and I do things I regret. But you’re not perfect either!”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Lance cried indignantly.

“It means…it means,” Keith searched for the words. He could feel his lips trembling. “You're annoying! You sing too much, and you never shut up about your family, and you always spam my phone, and post too many selfies, and what about Nyma, at the office? You're constantly flirting with her!”

Lance's eyes widened, then narrowed to slits. “You really wanna go there, Keith? I can play the game, too. You work too much. You're impulsive. You never clean your apartment, and you refuse to get a haircut. And don’t even get me started on how clingy you are. God, you are clingy. And you're talking shit about my family? And accusing me of cheating, when you're the one who went and kissed somebody behind my back? I can’t believe I ever loved you!”

“Take that back,” Keith snapped. His entire body jerked with the force of the statement. He couldn’t see properly; his eyes were welled up with tears.

“I will not! It’s the truth!”

“Please, Lance,” Keith tried one more time, “I'm begging you, you have to know I didn’t intend for this to happen. Shiro dragged me there, and then we started drinking, and I don’t know, things just got out of hand.”

Lance looked like he hated Keith in that moment. Keith felt a strong, genuine urge to kiss him. He held back.

“Get out,” Lance hissed.

“But—”

“Get the hell out, Keith! I never want to see you again!”

Keith shakily rose to his feet. Lance wasn’t joking. He spared one last glance behind him, at the boy he loved, the only person he could truly be himself around, who hadn’t left him, the only person he could ever be happy with, the only one he ever wanted to be happy with. Lance glared back.

“I'm sorry,” Keith said softly, his hand on the doorknob. “I love you.” He left Lance's apartment for what might be the last time.

It was a cold, starless night. Wind whipped at his hair, and froze the tears that streaked his face. They kept flowing, steady and frigid, no matter how hard he wiped at them. Why hadn’t he brought a coat? Or some gloves, or a hat, or anything that might ease the numbness that was taking over his body. But perhaps that wasn’t entirely from the weather.

Even with the wind buffeting past his ears, Keith heard the telltale whine of heavy brakes. The bus. He was still two blocks away.

“No, no, no no no,” Keith muttered, willing his legs to move faster. He skidded around the corner, but it was too late. He stumbled after the fading tail lights of the bus, only to collapse in defeat against the hard, frosty surface of the bench that sat at the bus stop. The street was shrouded in darkness now, except for a single streetlight that hung above Keith’s head. A spotlight, saying “hey, everybody. Look at this loser.”

Keith put his head in his hands, fresh tears spilling into his palms. How had he managed to screw things up so bad? He hadn’t meant any of the things he'd said about Lance, Keith loved his singing, and his family, and he knew that Lance and Nyma were nothing more than friendly colleagues.

“Stupid,” he muttered, raking in breath, “stupid, stupid, stupid. You just had to go and mess it up, just like you always do. What did Lance ever see in you anyway?” Keith asked himself, face tipped to the sky as a dusting of precipitation—rain, snow, he couldn’t tell, he didn’t care—came falling upon him. Maybe this was for the best. Lance deserved so much better than him anyway, right? Right.

Keith shivered, wrapping trembling arms around himself in a useless effort to get warm. He would just have to walk home. He didn’t have enough money on him for a cab and there was no way was he going to sit around waiting in the cold for the next dumb bus to come.

The side streets were darker, but also faster, and so Keith ducked through alleyways and under sparsely lit streetlights towards his own apartment. He was pretty much all cried out, and what he could now tell was snow was washing away the salty mess that coated his cheeks. That didn’t stop a little hiccough from heaving out of his chest every so often. He couldn’t have stopped them if he tried.

He hadn’t gotten very far before he heard the crunch of pebbles against the sidewalk coming from behind him. A stray cat, maybe? No, these were footsteps, much heavier than a cat’s. A person. Keith quickened his pace, and the crunching behind him sped up, too. It was too dark to sneak a proper glance behind, but he was pretty sure he saw the glisten of a smile, menacing, hungry. After taking several random turns without shaking the guy, Keith was sure: someone was following him.

He pulled his phone from his pocket, clumsily scrolling through his contacts. Without thinking, he clicked on Lance.

“Pick up, pick up,” he hissed, almost jogging now, hoping to lose whoever was trailing him. Of course Lance didn’t answer. Who else was there to call? Lance was closest, and by the time he got ahold of Shiro, or anyone else for that matter, he could be dead meat.

It had just occurred to Keith that calling the police might be a good idea when it happened. He felt it more than saw it, another presence, a figure surging towards him from the depths of an alley. And before Keith could react, someone had grabbed him.

“Get offa me!” he growled, struggling against strong hands that pinned his arms behind his back.

The only response he got was laughter.

“I called the cops!”

“No, you didn’t.” Someone, a man with a deep, rasping voice, was bending over pick up his phone from the ground, where it had fallen, unlocked, from Keith's grip. Keith could almost picture the smirk on the guy’s face as he asked, “Who’s Lance?”

Up until now Keith had thought he only had two assailants; one holding him and the other holding his phone. But a third voice piped up, a snarky, weaseling tone that said, “Oh, look, you’ve got a little heart by his name. Why don’t we give lover boy a call?”

“Leave him out of this,” Keith snarled, trying to jerk his arms free. “Who are you? What do you want from me?”

“Don’t worry, we just want to have a little fun.”

A fist slammed into his gut at the word, and Keith bit back a yelp, gulping for breath. This was not his idea of fun. If he could just get free then he could fight back. He stomped on his capturer’s foot. The hands around his wrists loosened, and Keith jerked free.

He could see the dim outlines of the three men. They surrounded him, still laughing, a sound that haunted Keith from the party. It was a funny sort of laugh, like maybe they were drunk.

Still winded from having the air knocked out of him, Keith swung his arms up just in time to block another punch. He wasn’t completely helpless. He could fight. But against three angry lunatics…

His strategy was defense. Duck, block, swing, repeat. The darkness wasn’t helping. As soon as Keith felt his fist connect with something, someone else’s fist connected with him. The fresh snow was slippery underneath his feet.

He took a hit to the face that sent him reeling, the sickening metallic taste of blood flooding his mouth. He could feel it, hot and sticky, trickling from his nose, his lips, his knuckles, busted open.

Shaking away dizziness, Keith readied himself for another battering. He wasn’t prepared when two of his attackers charged him, pinning him to the wall. His spine rubbed against the jagged brick and he gasped for air as he fought their hold.

With two people holding him back, the third was free to do some serious damage. Keith couldn’t hold back the cries of pain that escaped him as fists and feet pounded him, no sign of slowing, no sign of mercy.

He wasn’t sure how far these people were going to take this. He didn’t want to find out. He didn’t want to die. He didn’t know if these people wanted to kill him, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to let it happen. Using the two guys on either side of him to boost himself up, Keith aimed a kick that sent the third sprawling on the ground, crashing into nearby trash bins with a loud clash.

They were all tired. Keith could see it in their body language, the way their shoulders slouched beyond a normal fighter’s stance, the way their chests heaved. The one he'd kicked was still on the ground behind him, the other two backed into a corner in front of him.

Maybe he could win this. Maybe he could make it out of here. Maybe…

Maybe the guy behind him wasn’t as out of commission as Keith had thought. Because the next thing he knew, something had clocked him on the back of the head, and he went down, body smacking against the pavement, ears ringing, vision filling with brightly colored stars.

“Oh, shit.”

“Is he dead?”

“I don’t know, and I'm not sticking around to check. Come on.”

Keith blinked wearily as the three people took off into the night, feet pounding against the sidewalk. He lay there in the alleyway, pain throbbing through his head, seeping into his limbs, searing across his chest. Tiny snowflakes landed on his skin. It hurt too much to brush them away. It felt kind of nice anyway, cool and soothing on the bruises that were beginning to swell. But it still hurt. Keith moaned as everything melded into one swirling, nauseating haze.

“Damn it, Keith,” Lance huffed, hovering over his phone. “Just answer me.”

Keith had called roughly ten minutes after leaving, which had prompted Lance to throw his phone across the room. But after staring at the wall in silence for the better part of half an hour, Lance had gone to retrieve it and sent Keith a quick text.

Lance> Hey

It had gone unanswered, so Lance had sent another.

Lance> I'm sorry I flipped out. Can we talk?

Still no answer.

Lance> Keith?

Lance> Keith I know you're mad at me but can u please answer just so I know you're ok?

Lance> keith

Lance> KEITH

And so that had led him here, pacing the floor of his apartment. The rational part of him—the part that was still furious with Keith not just for what he'd done, but also what he'd said—knew that Keith was just upset, and was giving him the silent treatment, payback for not picking up his call. But another part of him, the part that still cared, and probably would never truly stop caring about Keith—that part was afraid. What if something had happened him? What if his bus crashed? The weather wasn’t exactly great for driving. What if he'd gotten locked out of his apartment? It had happened to Lance often enough.

Lance knew he would never be able to sleep. He knew what he'd said had really hurt Keith, but Keith had really hurt him. Kissing somebody else? Lance would never have done that. He was a naturally flirtatious person, and he was well aware of it, but ever since he'd begun dating Keith, he'd made sure to be polite and nothing more to anybody else. Keith was the love of his life, and Lance would never do anything to jeopardize that. Even now that Keith had, Lance wasn’t sure he was willing to let go.

Lance> if you don’t answer me in thirty seconds I'm coming to find u

That was it. Lance pulled his jacket on, grabbed his keys, and went out into the snow.

Keith wasn’t really aware of time passing, but when he squinted out of swollen eyes, a dull, grey daylight was just beginning to sneak its way around the edges of buildings, still too dark to make out anything but shadows. He could feel the hard ground underneath him, and a pool of wetness that had been last night’s snow. He shivered, even though the cold was starting to fade, replaced by a strange, stinging tingle.

Pain stabbed at his chest when he drew breath, and a soft, whining moan left him on the exhale. Obviously no one had heard last night’s scuffle, because here he was, body throbbing against the wet cement. The melted snow felt good on his bruised skin, but that was about the only comfort he could find. Too exhausted and hurt to move, Keith lay there and let the world spin around him, hoping that someone would find him soon.

He allowed his mind to swim in and out of consciousness, listening to the gentle flutter of pigeons, and water dripping from rooftops. He focused on that, or tried to, tried not to think, not to feel the pain that coursed through his being. It was starting to disappear now, replaced almost entirely by the tingling sensation.

Everything around him was a blurry mess when he heard the squeal of brakes and slam of a car door, as if they were far away, separated from the real world by a fuzzy tunnel of time and space.

And then Keith heard his name. Is this what death feels like, he wondered, was some angel-voiced deity calling out to him?

“Keith!” He heard it again, louder this time. He knew that voice. This wasn’t some higher power, calling him to the afterlife. No, this was his boyfriend. He needed that voice.

“Lance,” he croaked.

“Keith, oh my god, what happened? Who did this to you?”

“Lance,” Keith rasped, “m’sorry. I...didn’t mean to—” he sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth as Lance touched his shoulder, and winced at the way his chest rejected the sudden intake of air.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Lance murmured, quickly pulling his hand away. “Can you tell me what hurts?”

Keith mumbled something unintelligible.

“Keith, now’s not the time to play tough guy. I need you to tell me what hurts and how bad, right now.”

“Ev’thing,” Keith slurred. “Pretty bad.”

“Can you get up? Keith? Answer me, buddy.”

Keith moaned and pressed his face further into the ground.

“That’s it, I'm calling an ambulance,” Lance said, whipping out his cell phone out of his pocket. As he dialed the three digits, he shrugged off his jacket and draped it over Keith's near-lifeless frame. “Hang in there. Help is on the way.”

“He’s sleeping, but you can go in to see him if you’d like.”

“Thank you,” Lance sighed as the nurse let him into Keith's room. He eased himself into an old wooden chair next to the bed and let his hand find Keith's.

Keith lay there, fast asleep under a mound of blankets that moved with the steady rise and fall of his chest. He'd needed stitches in his lip, and in a few other cuts on his face. Lance couldn’t bear to look at the grotesque bruises that marred his soft, porcelain skin, and he busied his eyes with the cream walls of the room and pale blue curtains pulled firmly over the window. But he wasn’t able to keep his eyes off Keith for long.

He ghosted his lips over the tender skin of Keith's cheek in a delicate kiss, gently tucking a strand of loose hair behind his ear.

“I'm so sorry, angel,” Lance whispered. “This is all my fault.”

“Are you two a couple?”

Lance sat up in surprise, averting his gaze to the doctor who had just entered.

“We’re,” Lance paused. Were they still a couple? Keith had kissed someone, someone who wasn’t Lance, and Lance had told him to get out, that he never wanted to see him again. A slight part of him had meant it, but…

“We’re really close,” Lance replied. “He is gonna be okay, right?”

“Yes. I know he looks pretty rough, but with plenty of rest he’ll be just fine. You're lucky you found him when you did, temperatures dipped fairly low last night. Too much longer and he could have begun to develop hypothermia.”

Lance pressed his fingers over his lips. He couldn’t do anything other than nod. Keith could have died. He could have frozen to death, all alone, because Lance had screamed at him and made him go outside in the middle of the night, in the beginning of a storm.

“It’s my fault,” Lance said. His throat felt tight.

“What do you mean?”

“I…we fought…and I told him get lost. I made him leave, he never would’ve gotten hurt if I would’ve just calmed down and let him stay. It’s all my fault,” Lance rubbed furiously at the tears starting to trickle from his eyes, “it’s all my fault.”

“Sir, if you can't remain calm, I'm going to need to ask you to leave.” The doctor looked at him, eyes caring but voice stern.

Lance nodded. He took a deep breath. “I know. I'm sorry. I just…when I found him, lying there, he was so small and so still I thought he was dead. I could never live with myself if he was dead.” Lance shook his head.

“I trust the police were contacted about the incident?” the doctor changed the subject.

“Yeah. They filed a report and stuff, and they’re trying to find whoever assaulted him. They're going to come by and ask Keith a few questions once he's feeling better.”

“Good. Well, that’s all I have to say, other than to remind you to keep the both of you calm and comfortable. Someone on staff will be by to check on Keith in an hour. If he wakes up before then, just make sure he knows he's safe, and tell him to go back to sleep. The pain medication will most likely make him drowsy, so it shouldn’t be a problem. If you need anything, the nurses are always walking the halls. Don’t hesitate to give us a shout.”

“Thank you,” Lance said as he processed the information. “Thank you so much, Dr…I'm sorry, I missed your name.”

“Smythe,” the man said, turning on his heel and leaving the room with a wink.

Lance settled down in the old, hard chair, sneaking his hand around Keith's once again.

The first thing Keith was aware of was a sense of weightlessness. He was floating. Maybe he really was dead.

That possibility was immediately ruled out when he tried sitting up. Pain flared through his ribs and seized his brain as the world began turning much too fast. He flopped back down with a groan.

“Keith?” The voice was soft on his pounding head. Exhaustion tugged at every fiber of his being, willing him to return to the blissful darkness of sleep, but he knew that voice. He needed that voice. He did his best to speak back.

“La,” was all he managed, still fighting the swimming haze that clouded his mind.

“Yeah, baby, it’s me,” Lance cooed.

Keith blearily forced his eyes open. He blinked, and slowly took in the view around him. “Where’m I?”

“You're in the hospital, love.” Lance hovered over him, speaking like he was calming an abused puppy. His face was pinched with worry.

Keith panicked. Hospitals meant you were hurt, bad. Hospitals meant doctors and needles and stitches and anesthesia and no knowledge or control over what was going on. He had to get out.

Trapped underneath the mountain of blankets, Keith writhed to get free despite the heavy ache of every bone in his body screaming at him not to. A pair of hands pushed him firmly back onto the bed.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Lance said quickly, “you're okay, Keith. It’s okay.”

“I’m scared,” Keith whimpered. He wanted to slap himself for admitting that, but he couldn’t think straight and he had no clue what was going on and he needed Lance to understand.

“It’s alright, baby,” Lance murmured. “You're safe. I'm right here, I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Just lie still, you're safe now.”

Keith couldn’t be sure, but it sounded like Lance was crying. “M’sorry,” he mumbled.

“No, no,” Lance said softly, cupping a hand under Keith's jaw, “you don’t need to apologize right now. Just go back to sleep. Can you do that for me?”

Keith nodded slightly, his movements already weak from exhaustion. Sleep overtook him easily.

When Keith woke up next, he felt a lot less weightless and a lot more aware. He tentatively touched his fingers to his temple. His head still hurt. Everything hurt, a dull, persistent ache that settled over him and wouldn’t go away.

“Lance?” he coughed. No answer. A glance around the room told him he was alone, the lights dimmed, doors and curtains shut tight. Had Lance been here at all, or was it just a dream?

Keith sighed. Lance wasn’t here; he had no reason to be. Any relationship they had was pretty much over. Lance wanted Keith out of his life, he had made that pretty clear.

After struggling to disentangle himself from the blanket mound, Keith rose to his feet. Or, he tried to. His knees wobbled and the room spun, and he gripped the edge of the bed to keep his balance. Being upright hurt more, and he could feel what little energy he had leaking away. He was shaking after just two seconds.

Keith froze when the door clicked open to reveal Lance, of all people, sipping steaming liquid from a styrofoam cup.

Lance's eyes widened. “What do you think you're doing?”

“I…um…” Keith stared at Lance blankly, knees buckling. He had no idea what he was doing. He might have been a little more out of it than he’d like to admit.

Lance sighed and set his drink on the bedside table amongst the many other empty cups and soda cans that had accumulated there.

“Come on, let’s get you back to bed,” Lance reached out to him.

“No,” Keith snapped, pushing the hands away. He didn’t want anybody touching him, not right now, not when he was hurt and confused.

“Yes,” Lance clipped off the word. “Bed. Now.”

“I don’t need to listen to you,” Keith said, warily eyeing Lance's arms coming toward him again. He really didn’t feel well. Too much longer and he was either going to pass out or throw up.

“Yes, you do. Doctor’s orders. And if you don’t follow them right away, I'm calling him in here. So get your butt in bed, grouchypants.”

Keith sunk into the bed with a grunt, and fumbled to pull up the blankets. It hurt to move.

“Let me help,” Lance offered. He arranged the blankets and fluffed the pillow with military precision, but there was something missing, a loving-kindness that Keith had grown used to. Lance pulled his chair closer to the bed. “How’s that?”

“Good,” Keith nodded. Then he frowned. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“What do mean by that?” Lance tilted his chin back defensively.

“I'm just going to end up saying something stupid again. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I can handle myself just fine, thank you very much. And I have a right to be here, I am both your emergency contact and the one who found you knocked out and shivering in the slush.”

“Lance, what happened?”

“What happened?” Lance asked incredulously. “Why don’t you tell me? You're the one who was half dead in an alley! Broken ribs, borderline hypothermic, concussion, multiple lacerations, whatever the hell that even means—”

“No, I mean…what happened to us?”

“Oh.”

Yeah, oh, Keith thought miserably. All Lance seemed to care about was that he'd gotten beat up. Not one of his best days, sure, but all that had stemmed from the now-missing link in their relationship.

“I don’t know, Keith. I don’t know. I love you, but I don’t understand how you let that happen, kissing some stranger while I'm halfway across the country. And it’s just killing me to see you all laid up like this, when it’s my fault for making you go out in that storm, in the middle of the night—”

“Stop.” Keith groped around the top of the bed for Lance's hand and eventually settling on grabbing his wrist. “S’ not your fault. I should have been more careful.”

“Can we just not talk about it right now?” Lance asked. “You need to rest, and I…I just can't.”

“Okay,” Keith whispered. He let go of Lance's arm.

“How do you feel? Somebody is supposed to come around soon to give you another dose of pain meds.”

“Spectacular,” Keith muttered.

“This is humiliating.”

“Keith, there is nothing humiliating about a wheelchair. There are a lot of people who would be very offended by what you just said.”

“No,” Keith groaned, “not the wheelchair itself. The fact that even though I am completely capable of walking on my own, I'm being forced to sit and have you parade me around the parking lot.”

“Completely capable? Keith, you almost passed out because you sat up too fast. Besides, I think it would be fun,” Lance said innocently.

“Well, it’s not. Just hurry up and push me. I want to get out of this damn thing.”

Keith was pretty sure he fell asleep on the ride to his apartment, because the next thing he knew, he was home and Lance was easing him into bed. Whatever drugs they’d given him at the hospital must still have been taking effect, because he was too tired to protest.

“Do you want a snack?” Lance asked. “Or a drink?”

“No. I just want to sleep.”

“You’re sure you don’t want me to stay?”

“Go home, Lance. You don’t need to look after me.”

“I don’t like the idea of you here all by yourself.”

“I’ve always been by myself, Lance. I'm used to it. You're probably tired anyway.”

“You got me there,” Lance sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Thank god for crappy hospital coffee or else I’d be flat on my face right now.” He chuckled. Keith couldn’t help but feel it was forced.

With some effort, Keith managed to roll onto his side. He looked at the other side of the bed, the spot that had always belonged to Lance when he slept over. Not anymore.

“I'm not going to leave you here alone,” Lance decided, raising his hand to block Keith's protests, “but I definitely need a nap.” He eyed the same spot Keith just had, but he seemed to think better of it, for he asked, “Do you mind if I use your couch?”

“Sure,” Keith said.

“Okay. Holler if you need me.”

“Sleep well, Lance.” Keith felt his face drain as soon as he said it. You weren’t supposed to say things like that to someone who didn’t love you anymore.

Lance looked a little surprised. Then his face morphed to something more neutral. Almost bored. “You too.”

Keith spent his first waking hours moping. He was bored, and wanted to get out of bed, but he was too tired and sore to really do anything. A simple trip to the bathroom was enough to wear him out. Looking at the spread of snacks and drinks Lance had left next to his bed, he was glad he hadn’t forced Lance to leave. But at the same time, having Lance here was driving him insane.

“Keith, you have absolutely no groceries!”

“This is a crummy apartment, Lance, not a five-star hotel. What did you expect?” Keith grumbled. He had to yell for Lance to hear him from the kitchen, and it was taking energy he didn’t have.

“I wasn’t expecting a four-course meal, but come on, you have to have more than Mr. Noodles.”

“Well, I don’t.”

Lance’s head popped around the corner. He looked blankly at Keith in bed, buried in the comfort of what felt like a million blankets and pillows. “Forgive me, your highness,” he deadpanned. “I guess I'm stopping by the store on my way back from work. What are you going to do while I'm gone? I can call Shiro to come stay with you.”

“No, don’t bother Shiro. I'm fine by myself.”

“He’s a med student, I'm sure he'd like the extra practice.”

“Shiro didn’t spend thousands of dollars in tuition fees to watch me hobble around the house eating Mr. Noodles.”

Lance sighed. He sounded tired more than anything. “Alright, but call me if you need anything.”

“I’ll be fine,” Keith repeated for the thousandth time. “Just go, before you're late for work.”

Lance nodded. He looked back at Keith, sadly, as if he were an injured animal. Keith caught his eye and Lance's face hardened. And then he was gone.

Keith didn’t mind Lance complaining about his lack of groceries. What he did mind was having Lance simultaneously taking tender care of him and then hating him for his betrayal. Why was Lance going through all this trouble for him if he hated Keith now? Keith didn’t know where he stood at this point. Maybe Lance was only here out of pity. Keith probably looked pretty pathetic, laid up in bed with only microwavable pasta to eat. But Lance had insisted he stay in bed as much as possible. Keith didn’t want to upset him any more than he already had.

Maybe that was part of it. Upsetting each other. Keith thought about what he’d do if he was in Lance's shoes. Yes, he would be angry. He would be furious, and hurt, and confused. But he couldn’t think that he would ever stop caring about Lance entirely. It just wasn’t possible to not care about someone who you had once loved. Who you still loved. If Lance still loved him then maybe he had a chance. Maybe he wasn’t going to be cast out, just as he had been cast out from his family, from school, even from Shiro after his first year at university. All those times Lance had tilted Keith's chin up, told him not to worry, that he would always love him, that it didn’t matter what his family said, because Lance was his family now—those had all meant something. They still did. Lance was a part of who he was now, and nothing was going to change that, whether Lance ever forgave him or not.

Moping aside, Keith also got in some restless nap time. It was in the middle of one such session that a knock at the front door roused him.

“Hullo?” he asked groggily. “Come in.” He wondered vaguely why Lance would be knocking. Maybe it was to be formal. Formal usually meant broken up. They might really be broken up. Then it occurred to him that whoever was outside might not be Lance.

Keith bolted out of bed so fast his head spun. He crept out of his room and towards the door, wrapped loosely in a blanket. Lance wouldn’t be knocking. Who would? Were tax collectors still a thing? Keith had never seen a tax collector. Maybe it was charity. Charity was good. What wasn’t good was if Keith had been somehow tracked to this apartment. Maybe the guys in the alleyway were really out to get him. For what, Keith had no idea. But they would come in, and beat him up again, or worse, and Lance would come home to find the mess and Keith would feel awful all over again.

He was on the verge of hyperventilating and jumping into a fighting stance when the door swung open gently to show Shiro, standing on the porch. He let himself relax.

Shiro looked him over, a sheepish smile quickly giving way to a grimace. “You don’t look so good. Lance told me what happened, how are you feeling?”

“I feel fine.” Keith scowled, blankets dragging on the floor as he made his way back to the couch.

“Listen, Keith. I'm really sorry. This was all my fault.”

“No, it isn’t. You're not the one who kissed some other dude, are you?”

“What are you talking about?”

Keith raised an eyebrow. “You don’t know?”

Shiro blinked. He shook his head. “I thought Lance was just angry you went without him.”

“It’s a little more complicated than that,” Keith said. He pulled his knees to his chest. It hurt his ribs, but he felt safer this way. Shiro wouldn’t see the gaping hole where his heart used to be. No one would see how broken he was.

“Keith, you okay?” Shiro lightly brushed against his shoulder.

“Yeah,” Keith replied. His mouth felt dry. His eyes didn’t. But he wasn’t crying. Not yet.

“You know you can talk to me.”

Keith sighed. What the hell, he figured. If he didn’t tell Shiro, then Lance would.

“I…I messed up, Shiro.”

Shiro sat closer to him, nodding, encouraging. Understanding. For the first time in a long time, Keith caught a glimpse of the Shiro he knew. The Shiro he trusted.

“I'm sorry,” Keith whispered as he began to shake. This was too much. It was all too much. Why had he been so emotional lately? He hated it.

Shiro understood. Somewhere beneath the newfound frat boy attitude, his old self shone through. “Shh,” he murmured. “It’s okay, Keith. It’s okay.”

“No it’s not,” Keith drew a rattling breath, one that hurt just about every part of him. “Lance might be breaking up with me. I don’t even know for sure because he won’t talk about it. He stays here in my apartment and looks after me, but he won’t talk about us.”

“He just wants you to focus on getting better.”

“How am I supposed to get better when he's making me feel so awful?”

“Tell him that.”

“I can’t.”

“You're going to have to.”

Keith sighed. He didn’t want to think about this anymore. Not with Shiro anyway. “What are you even doing here?” he asked.

“Lance texted me to come check on you.”

“Of course he did,” Keith groaned.

“Well, since I'm here, is there anything I can get you?”

Keith miserably sunk into the couch. “No.”

“Do you want to play checkers or something? You must be bored.”

“Checkers, Shiro? I'm not five.” Keith was, indeed, bored out of his mind, but really all he wanted to do was go back to sleep. His bed seemed even more welcoming than it had before.

“Okay,” Shiro replied.

They sat in silence. Keith shifted restlessly, but each time he moved he only became more uncomfortable.

“I’m really glad you're okay,” Shiro said softly.

Keith glanced at him. “Thanks.”

“I'm sorry I’ve been acting so weird. It’s just…” Shiro huffed, and dragged a hand over his face. “I’m not doing too well in school, and I guess I’ve just been trying to distract myself. But I'm getting it together. Starting with you. I apologize.”

Keith felt his jaw part in awe. Shiro was apologizing? Keith didn’t feel worthy of anyone’s apology. Especially after he’d just told Shiro what an ass he'd been to Lance.

“I mean it,” Shiro pressed.

Keith nodded. “Thank you.”

Lance came home late. Shiro had left hours ago, and Keith was still sitting on the couch. He had picked up a sketchbook and was working away on a detailed picture of the tv remote in front of him. He couldn’t watch tv because of his concussion, so he'd settle for this.

“Hey,” Lance mumbled. He dumped his stuff on the kitchen table.

“Hey.” Keith looked over at him. He was leaned against the table, eyes shut, rubbing the back of his neck and wincing.

“Sleeping on the couch can't be too comfortable,” Keith observed.

Lance gave a sort of half-shrug, half-nod. “Certainly not what I'm used to.”

Keith bit his lip. How was he supposed to say this without it seeming like he was just trying to get on Lance's good side? “You can take the bed tonight. I’ll be fine on the couch.”

Keith was surprised to see that Lance actually looked appreciative. He was not surprised to hear the answer, “No, it’s alright.”

Lance had taken his first advance at reconciliation well, so he decided to try another. “You look like you could use a massage.” Keith grimaced at how awkwardly that had come out. But it was something Lance had often done for him, and it was calming, and Keith could feel the tension coming off of Lance in waves. Lance declined.

“Okay,” Keith said. “I'm gonna head to bed, then. Goodnight.”

Lance didn’t say goodnight back.

The alley was dark. Water dripped from the pipes that ran up the sides of the buildings. Keith looked down at his hands. They were dripping, too—with blood. He looked up. Someone was hunched in the shadows before him, just out of reach. Keith leaned forward to get a better look at the hooded figure. He took a step forward. On the next step he found he couldn’t move his feet, and they stuck uselessly to the pavement as if he were part of a statue. He tried again, but the more he struggled the more stuck he felt, until a suffocating blackness yanked him free and rushed him against a wall. He was pinned there, by enemies he couldn’t see, without hope of escape.

Slowly, in one fluid motion, the figure turned to face him. Its eyes were shrouded with darkness. The only parts of skin visible were the thing’s hands and mouth. They glistened with blood, too. Keith sucked in a breath as it advanced towards him. It paused just before him, and he felt the impending sense of doom, waiting like a roller coaster teetering at the top of a slope. The mouth parted.

Keith jolted awake, gasping for air. He couldn’t breathe, his hair clung to his body in a sheen of sweat, all he could see was a row of perfect, sparkling, pointed teeth. He shuddered, nausea creeping up his throat, seeping into his nose, he couldn’t breathe he couldn’t see he couldn’t think all he knew was there was something evil out there and it had kissed him and it was after him again and Lance was going to be mad Lance already hated him Lance was going to tell him he was stupid and mean and ignorant and uncaring and awful—Keith threw back the covers of his bed and stumbled out, bare feet hitting the ice cold floor, washed in gray moonlight. He managed two steps before crashing against a dresser and tumbling to the floor.

Keith was still shaking, he could tell as he raised a hand to dab at the mess of tears spilling down his face, wondering what the hell he was doing here on the floor. He had to get up, he had to move, had to run, those perfect shining teeth were coming to ruin his life all over again. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t seem to get up, still couldn’t get a proper breath, couldn’t hear anything over the guttural sobbing coming from his mouth, and so he lay, skin exposed to the freezing linoleum. His fingernails found the edges of the floorboards, and he gripped as hard as he could. And he wept. He wept, because of the dream, because of Lance, because he was tired of feeling miserable and sorry for himself, and just tired in general.

The bedroom door creaked open. A pair of feet shuffled in, clad in a pair of fuzzy blue slippers. Keith squinted through the hazy mist of tears and moonlight, eyes following from the slippers, up the legs, chest, and to the face of Lance. It was stuck mid-yawn.

“Lance,” he whimpered. “Lance. Lance, the teeth. His teeth and he kissed me and I love you and I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” Keith sobbed, “I never meant to, I didn’t want to, he had teeth and he kissed me, Lance, he kissed me and I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.”

Lance knelt down, tentatively resting a hand on Keith's back. “Hey,” he murmured. “Hey, Keith, hey. What’s going on? Hey, hey, look at me, you're okay. You’re okay, it’s okay.”

Keith looked fearfully into Lance's eyes. There was no anger there, only concern. “Lance,” he croaked.

“Yeah, it’s me. I'm right here. I think you had a bad dream, buddy. Is that what happened? Did you have a bad dream, Keith?”

“Y-Yeah, I- I think so.”

Lance sighed. He sounded relieved. “Let’s get you back in bed. You're okay.”

With Lance’s steady hand on his back, Keith crawled back into bed. He couldn’t make himself stop shaking.

Lance sat on the edge of the bed, eyes downcast. “Do you want me to stay?”

“Don’t go.”

“Yeah, that’s what stay means, silly.” Lance swung his legs up onto the mattress and leaned back. One arm pillowed his head, the other draped over Keith. “Try to sleep,” he murmured.

When Keith leaned into him, eyes shut tight, soaking up Lance's warmth, Lance wasn’t sure what to do. So he didn’t do anything. He held still, felt his arm rise over Keith's chest as he breathed. He soon stopped shaking under Lance's touch, and his eyelids fluttered, lashes brushing against Lance's skin as he drifted off the sleep. Lance wished he could do the same. But now he was torn, inner turmoil wreaking havoc like a tornado through his brain. He should be mad at Keith, right? Keith had betrayed him, for lack of a better word. But Keith was sorry. There was no doubt about that. And Lance knew he shouldn’t be bending over backwards because of apologies alone, and he wasn’t.

Keith needed him, that much was obvious as he clenched his jaw in his sleep and clutched fitfully at Lance's t-shirt. Lance rubbed his back, and murmured to him, and he settled. He'd never even considered the psychological effects getting jumped in an alley would have on Keith. No wonder Keith was being so high-strung and looked like he was about to lash out.

Lance felt like a horrible person. He'd made Keith go out in the dark all alone. He'd left Keith to deal with the aftermath of being attacked all alone. But was that really why he was here now? Because he felt guilty? No. He'd been assuming Keith deserved all of it. But he didn’t, not really. It hurt to see him suffer like this. That brought the question again; why was Lance here? It wasn’t pity. No. it was something deep. A connection. Love.

He still loved Keith. He would probably never stop. It was impossible to just stop caring about someone who you had invested so much time and emotion and feelings into. Even if something had changed, the feelings were still there. Feelings don’t just go away. Lance had never been one to ignore his feelings. He wrapped his other arm around the sleeping Keith and pulled him close.

Keith was still curled around him when Lance woke, his head tucked neatly into the crook of Lance's neck. His breaths were soft and even, starkly different from how Lance had found him last night. He was warm, keeping Lance from feeling the chilly edge of apartment air.

Lance would never know the reason, but he felt a hint of panic when Keith stirred. It was replaced by a softer, easy warmth in his chest when he looked at the way Keith's forehead wrinkled as he yawned, and he felt Keith's fingers curl tighter around him for a moment and then let go. His eyes flicked open lazily, and he blinked a few times, until his eyes found Lance.

A red hue crept onto Keith's face when he noticed Lance was staring at him. He realized he was wrapped around Lance like a human sushi roll, and he quickly disentangled himself.

“Sorry,” he muttered, voice still husky with sleep.

Lance didn’t reply. Instead, he said, “I have the day off today.”

“That’s nice,” Keith said.

“Yeah.” Lance decided not to mention that it was because his boss had heard about Keith's little hospital trip, and insisted that Lance take the time off until Keith was better.

“I'm hungry,” Keith said. “Did you buy groceries?”

Lance sighed, “No. I was tired so I just came back here.” He felt bad about it now, especially since Keith was finally showing some sign of an appetite since the whole ordeal.

“Oh. I guess I’ll go heat up some Mr. Noodles.”

“Hang on. Let me get dressed, and we can go out somewhere and get real breakfast. My treat.”

“Okay.”

When Lance was ready and Keith was bundled up in more layers than was probably necessary, they buckled themselves into Lance's car. Keith didn’t know where they were going, but Lance looked confident behind the wheel so he didn’t ask.

“Keith?”

Keith raised an eyebrow in Lance's direction.

“Who was it? That you—that kissed you?”

Keith bit his lip. This was a story Lance wasn’t going to enjoy hearing.

“I won’t get mad. I just want to know.”

The way he said it was sincere, so Keith told him, “I don’t really know much about him. I only met him that night, and, honestly…I didn’t even get his name.”

Lance frowned.

Keith sighed, “I was kind of freaking out, because I couldn’t find Shiro, and there were too many people, and then I ended up pretty much alone in the basement with this guy. He was kind of weirding me out at first, but he was nice, and I don’t know, we just talked. And had a couple drinks. I don’t know,” Keith repeated. He felt awful talking about it, but Lance deserved to know. “He just sort of leaned in, and…kissed me. And I didn’t know what to do. I panicked. It was like I was paralyzed. And when he pulled away, I guess I came to, I don’t know, but I told him…I told him it wasn’t right, I told him…I told him I had you. And that was all I needed. I got out of there right away.”

Lance was quiet, which was unusual for him. Keith stared down at his hands. He didn’t even look up when the car came to a stop.

“Hey. Earth to Keith. You still hungry?” Lance asked softly.

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” Keith mumbled. He hadn’t really been eating enough lately.

Lance waited patiently for Keith to extract himself from the car, and walked by his side through the parking lot. Keith thought about taking his hand, but then decided it probably wasn’t a good idea.

He hadn’t been paying attention to where he was when he stepped out of the car, just following Lance. Only after walking past the large yellow M above the doorway and smelling the aroma of fry grease did he realize Lance had driven them to McDonald’s. Keith couldn’t help but notice how the other people waiting in line were giving him strange looks. They were probably concerned about his face, he figured, he still looked pretty beat up. Normally he wouldn’t be bothered but today he just felt so out of place he wanted to curl up and be a hermit the rest of his life.

Lance had noticed. “Why don’t you go grab us a seat,” he suggested gently, “and I’ll order us hash browns or something.”

Keith nodded. He liked hash browns. He was glad the breakfast menu was available all day; the analogue clock on the wall said it was more like lunch.

He picked a little table in the corner, away from the people, save for a sweet-looking old couple a few seats down. Keith sat and waited for Lance, busying himself with flicking some stray crumbs off the table.

“Hey.”

Keith looked up, expecting to see Lance, but he was met with a blinding smile and a swish of long ash-blond hair.

“You,” he stammered out, “w-what are you doing here?”

A shrug. “I guess I just like the company.”

“You need to leave.” Keith's voice was low. Dangerous.

He was ignored. “Man, what happened to you? Such a pretty face, all covered in bruises.”

Keith felt a snarl crawl up his throat. “Leave. Now.”

“Aw, come on. Listen, I just want to apologize. I was drunk, and impulsive,” he got closer with each word, “and what can I say, I'm weak for something so beautiful.”

No. This was not okay. Nothing about this was anything even resembling okay.

“Get away from me. You’ve ruined my life already, so just leave me alone.” Keith saw something move out of the corner of his eye. Lance.

“Hey, babe,” Lance said with fake cheer, sensing that something was up. He sauntered over with a tray of breakfast food. “Who’s this?”

“Someone who was just leaving,” Keith growled. Lance frowned.

“Damn, you said you had a boyfriend, but you never said he was this hot.”

That was when Keith snapped. Injuries and etiquette be damned, he was going to flatten this guy. Hands balled into fists, he lunged forward.

Lance beat him to it. The tray toppled to the floor, and the guy went flying over the nearest table with a crash of chairs. He didn’t get up. The old couple stared with mouths agape. Lance gracefully picked up the tray and stray food, as if nothing had happened. He led Keith out of the McDonald’s.

Keith couldn’t keep up with him, he was walking too fast. But Lance stopped in the middle of the parking lot, still gripping the tray. He picked up a hash brown and bit into it fiercely.

“That was him,” Keith explained solemnly.

“Yeah,” Lance said, oddly focused on eating his hash brown despite it having fallen on the floor. “I know. I knew the second I saw him.”

They went grocery shopping after that. Lance didn’t speak other than to ask about milk, “two percent or one?” Keith answered two, so they bought two. When they got back to Keith's apartment, Lance insisted on spending the rest of the afternoon preparing a “proper dinner. No more Mr. Noodles.” He refused to let Keith help, insisting that he go to bed and rest. Keith didn’t protest. He was exhausted.

It was hours later, from a deep and dreamless sleep, that Lance came to wake him.

“Hey, sleepyhead. You hungry?”

“Mflmsflrem,” Keith mumbled.

“What?”

Keith groaned and tried to wake himself up. He was pretty sure he could hear his bones creak.

“I see how it is,” Lance said, “you think I'm a terrible cook.” There was a small smirk on his face.

“I like your cooking,” Keith protested, doing his best to sit up, “I'm just stiff. S’hard to get up.”

Lance frowned and sat on the edge of the bed. “What hurts?”

Keith didn’t answer.

“Come on,” Lance sighed, “don’t be like that.”

Keith sighed. “Shoulders,” he shrugged a little, “ribs.”

Lance bit his lip and reached out a hand. “Can I?”

Keith didn’t say no, so Lance gently set his hands on his shoulders and prodded at the tense muscles.

“Gee,” he said. “You must be sore.”

“You don’t need to tell me,” Keith muttered, though his voice lost all its edge as Lance began to rub the ache from his shoulders.

“Better?” Lance asked after a minute.

“Better,” Keith nodded.

“Alright. Let’s eat.”

Dinner was nothing short of fantastic. Lance had outdone himself with an array of what could only be described as comfort food, taste fit for a king, with enough carbs to fuel a full-grown moose running a marathon.

“This is good,” Keith told him. “Like, really good.”

“Thanks,” Lance grinned. Then he chuckled.

“What?” Keith frowned.

“Don’t pout,” Lance was still laughing, “you just, you got a little something.”

Keith just pouted more and grabbed a napkin.

It was after dinner, curled up on the couch, that Keith felt fatigue take over his body once more. He stifled a yawn and raised his head to ask Lance what time it was.

“No clue,” Lance said, masking a yawn of his own, “but I'm tired.”

“Me too,” Keith said. “I'm going to bed. You…you, um, don’t have to sleep on the couch. If you don’t want to. You can sleep in the bed…with me…if you want.”

The corner of Lance's mouth quirked up in what could almost be called a smile. “I’ll be there in a couple minutes,” he said.

Keith got up from the couch and gingerly stretched his arms. He trudged off to get cleaned up and into bed, thinking he would wait up for Lance, but once he was nestled under the covers, the gravity of sleep pulled his eyelids over his eyes, and he was dragged down with them.

The early hours of the morning replaced the dark peace of sleep with restless waking. Keith shifted uncomfortably and tried to force himself back asleep, but napping for so long earlier had given him no reason for more rest.

Lance was next to him, he realized after a moment, not touching him but close enough to radiate warmth. Curled up on the other side of the bed, wearing an old t-shirt of Keith’s, his small frame rising unevenly under the fabric. Lance wasn’t sleeping either.

“Lance?” Keith ventured tentatively.

“Yeah?”

“I…I can't sleep.”

Lance sighed. “Me either.”

“What are you thinking about?”

Keith felt Lance's eyes on him, and he turned his head to meet them.

“You,” Lance said.

“Me?”

Lance nodded. “Honestly, you're all I can think about. The past few days have been hell. It’s not the same without you by my side, Keith. I...I’m not happy. I'm tired, and grumpy, and I miss you. I overreacted to this whole thing.”

“You didn’t overreact,” Keith said quietly.

“Fine, I wrong-reacted, then. Either way, I ruined everything, and now I'm just running around pretending I'm okay, because if anyone knew…if they knew, that on top of everything else, I screwed this up, too…” Lance roughly turned to face the wall. His voice was muffled in the blankets, but Keith was pretty sure he was crying. “All I ever do is make mistakes. And this just proves it. I've lost you. And now I don’t know what to do. I'm sorry, Keith. I'm sorry.”

“Lance,” Keith tugged at his arm, “hey. Come on,” he said softly. “Look at me.”

Lance sniffed and let Keith pull him to his other side. He shut his eyes and bit down on his lip. He heard Keith sigh, and then there was a hand, small and warm, rubbing his arm, and a voice, soft and safe, whispering it’ll be okay.

“You didn’t…you didn’t lose me,” Keith mumbled after a moment. “I still love you.”

Lance looked up at him with wide eyes. “I love you, too. Always. I don’t want this to be the end. I want us to work.”

“Me too,” Keith blinked, slow and sure.

“Does that mean we can…we can be us, again?” Lance asked tentatively.

“Yeah,” Keith smiled, “I think it does.”

[carterashofficial]

Thanks, Aearyn

@aearyn was so unbelievably kind to tag me for this 

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people (ahaha no i wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy this took forever)

— what was your last…

1. drink: water. from the fridge. there might’ve been a dog hair in it because Scout and Abbey show their love through shedding. I didn’t care.  2. phone call: my old internship asking why I never got my w-2 form 3. text message: a coupon from World Market, if that counts. If not, i texted myself a spoiler for the kotfe fic so i don’t forget 4. song you listened to: Champion by Carrie Underwood b/c i love it and I NEED THE POSITIVITY   5. time you cried: UH... writing the kotfe fic. But i wasn’t actually crying. it was more like “im tearing up at this one scene b/c its breaking my heart”. Actual crying? been... so long i can’t remember.

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: ahahahhahahahahahaha.... ahahahhaha..... ahahahhahahahaha despite my best intentions, i’ve never dated anyone. I’ve been trying to change that. I want romance in my life. 7. kissed someone and regretted it: That would imply i’ve had my first kiss, and im 22 years old and still haven’t had it. APHRODITE WHY AM I SINGLE. I’M READY TO MINGLE 8. been cheated on: see above. Can’t be cheated on if you’ve never HAD A DATE 9. lost someone special: i would rather not consider this question, but Domino, Jewel, and my Grandma (all were very, very sudden and hit me like a bag of bricks).  10. been depressed: ha ha ha apparently i’ve had depression since i was 15. I was officially diagnoses in January of 2017 and have been on medication since. ahahaha  11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no I can barely get drunk even when i try, let alone enough for a damn hangover. Seriously. I can drink like Carmadda and not get drunk.

— fave colours

12. soft eggshell green 13. the blue at the edge of the horizon 14. metallic  anything

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: ........yes? i think? 16. fallen out of love: ahahahahaha no b/c i’ve never been in love (in the romantic sense and that’s how im taking this) 17. laughed until you cried: always 18. found out someone was talking about you: in the worst of ways 19. met someone who changed you: yes 20. found out who your friends are: oooooh yes 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: never been kisses

— general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: all? how else do people find you on there? 23. do you have any pets: many. Scout, Abbey, the neon tetras (named the Heralds of Zildrog), my various shrimp, and Corypheus and Valkorian the golden inca snails  24. do you want to change your name: no, but i used to 25. what did you do for your last birthday: went bowling 26. what time did you wake up today: i woke up 3 times, once to Bug getting ready for school, then my mom asking if i opened the vitamins, then... i think 9 was when i finally crawled out 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: playing swtor or looking up some fresh and funky memes 28. what is something you can’t wait for: finished the next kotfe fic chapter and breaking everyone’s hearts. Or the next major expansion of SWTOR. I NEED ANOTHER CINEMATIC TRAILER LIKE GODDAMN 30. what are you listening to right now: nothing my house is silent and in the far, far distance, sometimes i can hear cars on the toll road 31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i have an uncle named Tom. I have spoken with him. So Yes. 32. something that’s getting on your nerves: socialization. I can only take so much around others. If I was a Sim i’d have the lonely trait. 33. most visited website: Tumblr or my school’s student login page 34. hair colour: blonde/brown im really smack in-between and i just dye it lighter to make it blonde enough for me to be blonde 35. long or short hair: long. so long. down to my butt long                                   36. do you have a crush on someone: not sure. i like him, he’s funny and thinks im funny, and teases me back, but im shit at reading signs and far too much a coward to ask him out. I’m not sure. I had a major crush in high school that resulted in me falling in love with a guy but we never offically dated and then he crushed my heart. Long story. So i try to avoid crushes lest i break my heart again. 37. what do you like about yourself: bitch im fabulous 38. want any piercings: i got 3 in the lobes of each ear and cartilage in the left. If i get any more I think my mom would have a heart attack 39. blood type: ??????? no idea. I know my sister is O 40. nicknames: Milky (only drank milk as a kid, but this nickname has sorta phased away). Other nicknames give away my real name. But I do respond to my sister’s name. 41. relationship status: single and ready to flamingle 42. sign: Aquarius 43. pronouns: she/her 44. fave tv show: i literally can’t pick one b/c ive watched nearly every cop show on Netflix, including some that aren’t in english. All the cooking competitions i can find on Netflix and youtube, and im running out of TV to watch when i do art. Halp. 45. tattoos: Zero because my fatal fear is needles. 46. right or left handed: Left. left left left seriously i can.... maybe dip a french fry in ketchup with my right but that’s it 47: ever had surgery: wisdom teeth removed count? 48. piercings: 7 total in the ears and nothing else. 49. sport: I watch baseball and hockey (SPEAKING OF WHICH, GO DUCKS!). Used to play softball and some soccer. 50. vacation: if i can graduate a quarter early I want to go visit my family in florida and michigan 51. trainers: is... this british for shoes? i wear berkenstocks. only berkenstocks. because crocs are so comfortable but people judge. I also have hella wide feet where ever ‘wide’ shoes are too narrow. I can get by in Vans or my old old Nikes that i hardly ever wear

— more general

52. eating: whether or not if ketchup should go on it, ketchup is going on it. Unless if it’s breakfast food or desert. Breakfast food is my favorite and i could happily live off it it. 53. drinking: water, tea, juice, milk, Mike’s black cherry hard lemonade, monster energy drinks, RC Cola.... i drink a variety of things. Mostly water and tea. 54. i’m about to watch: i dont know I’VE RAN OUT OF THINGS TO WATCH ON NETFLIX 55. waiting for: myself to go out on a date and/or meet The Guy 56. want: many things. 57. get married: One day. 58. career: ssssssssttttttttttuuuuuuuuuudddddddeeeeeeennnnnnntttttttt

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses: i want both but maybe not from the same people. 60. lips or eyes: depends what each are doing tbh 61. shorter or taller: taller b/c im short and can’t reach the top shelf 62. older or younger: older but at this point im 22 and a lot of my classmates are 21 so like.... my generation. 63. nice arms or stomach: arms 64. hookup or relationships: relationships 65. troublemaker or hesitant: depends. like really depends. I’ll probalby go with troublemaker b/c they tend to be funny and on-the-spot and im a planner.

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: never kissed anyone..... ha ha ha 67. drank hard liquor: so yes. 68. turned someone down: ahahahhahahahaahaha haha ha. Actually yes I got asked to homecoming my senior year by this one dude who still gives me the creeps jsut tihnking about him. I politely said no. 69. sex on first date: never been on a date, never kissed anyone. Never ‘done the deed’. Would not do on the first date. 70: broken someone’s heart: uh my mom’s when I told her I had Depression and wanted to kill myself all throughout sophomore year highschool 71. had your heart broken: oh. Yes. 72. been arrested: no 73. cried when someone died: more like wailed loud enough that half the dorm floor heard 74. fallen for a friend: *side-eyes my sister* yeeees

— do you believe in

75. yourself: it varies over what. 76. miracles: I mean.... to an extent.  77. love at first sight: no 78. santa claus: I AM 22 YEARS OLD of course 79. angels: its complicated. my mom found a dead rat in our old house’s garage when i was 4-ish and all i remember crying for the dead rat when my dad tossed it in the garbage. My mom explained that an angel had already taken the rat’s soul to heaven. What did I picture the angel as? A carrot, wearing a tie, with mickey mouse-esque white gloves carrying a rat dramatically. This still haunts me.

— misc

80. eye colour: blue enough that you might drown in the ocean 81. best friend’s name: @athenascrown 82. favourite movie: if you think I can pick only one you’ve got another thing coming. but.... any star wars movie. If i had to pick one, Empire Strikes Back or Phantom Menace or The Last Jedi.... or Rogue One.... or Revenge of the Sith... 83. favourite actor: The guy who played the stormtrooper who hits his head on the door in Ep 4 84. favourite cartoon: the old Ducktales was a childhood favorite 85. favourite teacher’s name: I don’t want to put her name out here but she was my art teacher all through high school and she is one of the kindest souls ive ever met and if it wasn’t for her, i wouldn’t have gotten back into art

because this post took 5ever im not tagging anyone but if you want to do it, just say I tagged you and I’ll say i did

[purpledragon57]

Princess Tutu, Howl's Moving Castle (the book), Sailor Moon, and Love Live?

Princess Tutu:

How I first got into it: I… Don’t actually remember. I know it was one of the shows people talked about being one of the really good Magical Girl shows but I can’t remember how I first heard about it.

Everything I ship: Highkey Fakiru, I also clearly ship Mytho and Rue given how excited I got over them. All the side-ships I remember were pretty cute. I kinda shipped Duck and Mytho as well but not as much as some other people did. (I think this was partly because I got semi-spoiled about which ship would be endgame ehehe)

My favourite platonic relationship(s): Duck and Rue! Even if they didn’t get to spend much time being friends what with all the plot shenanigans.

Top 3 Characters: Fakir, Duck, and Rue (in that order)

One of my favourite scenes: that scene where Fakir sasses Drosselmeyer and then stabs himself the the hand was pretty wild. (I left right after that scene to go play mariocart with my siblings and I was just internally screaming the whole time)

Links to three fan works I like: this piece is absolutely gorgeous. So is this one, and this one is just so wholesome and cute. 

Favourite Fandom meme/inside joke: honestly Fakir seems to be a fandom meme in and of himself and I think that’s Beautiful.

Howl’s Moving Castle:

How I first got into it: I remember people mentioning that the book was even better than the film waaaaay back before I’d even seen the movie so at some point after seeing the film (which was my favourite ghibli film till Whisper of the Heart recently overtook it btw) I borrowed it from the library. And uh yeah. I love it. (I own it now actually)

Everything I ship: Howl and Sophie obviously, also Micheal and Martha. (my memories of the other two books and stuff are a bit fuzzy right now so I think i had other ships but I can’t remember people’s names oops)

My favourite platonic relationship(s): I. Can’t really pick one off the top of my head. One of my general subconscious metrics for brotp potential is ‘how much sarcasm/sass is there’ and. y’know.

Top 3 Characters: Howl, Sophie, Micheal

One of my favourite scenes: The entire sequence where Howl is sick and being a drama queen makes me laugh every single time I love it.

Links to three fan works I like: *whispers* Hayao Miyazaki’s Ghibli version AU one of the first book-scene recreations I saw, mandatory josie-arts/bird-princess-official piece (all her hmc stuff is perfection go look at it k), everyone needs more Hatter sisters in their lives

Favourite Fandom meme/inside joke: See that thing I said about Fakir earlier? Same thing goes for Howl.

Sailor Moon:

How I first got into it: Miragephan mentioning it in her magical girl recommendation videos and conveniently providing an abridged viewing guide was what got me to actually watch it!

Everything I ship: HIGHKEY shipping UsaMamo (I think is their ship name. I’m still not good with the japanese names). Nothing else I’m really actively shipping so far

My favourite platonic relationship(s): Makoto and Ami, Rei and Usagi

Top 3 Characters: Makoto, Darian/Mamoru, and Ami!

One of my favourite scenes: Does the entirety of the Sailor Moon R Movie climax count? Because that was amazing. On a more comedic/actually one scene note, this flipping scene

Links to three fan works I like: Wholesome Content, Them Transformation Sequences Tho, Gotta include art of the Best Girl

Favourite Fandom meme/inside joke: Tuxedo Mask Must Stand on the Tallest Place

Love Live:

How I first got into it: This was one of those shows my sister insisted I watch, so I eventually did. I was into it by the first rendition of Start Dash, then I finished the original series right before Sunshine!! started airing, then I found the mobile game right after the first season of that ended, and basically it’s been a swift and steady descent into Idol Hell and now I’m here.

Everything I ship: Don’t have any romantic Love Live ships

My favourite platonic relationship(s): YoshiRiko, NicoMaki, HonoUmi, Aqours Third Years (aka the Mom Squad)

Top 3 Characters: Rin Hoshizora, Riko Sakurauchi, Honoka’s Dad

One of my favourite scenes: Snow Halation!!! And the scene in episode 5 of Sunshine s2 when Riko and Yoshiko are being broken in unison over their dog.

Links to three fan works I like: boop boop boop (I have an enormous collection of gorgeous love live fan art hanging around on my blog ahaha)

Favourite Fandom meme/inside joke: (I can’t choose one so have a bunch of random ones) 

Honoka nO

My Sister Is Better Than Yours

Mari Ohara

Thanks for the ask!

Current Ask Meme

[liftharos]

16 March ‘20 :

the Goodbyes

18 March ‘20

Ikarnian - Inside Liftharos’ house - 🕛 7:00

〜 ✴︎ 〜 ✴︎ 〜

Today is my last day here in Ikarnian.

I’ve spent the last week packing and reorganising all my possessions, damn if I’ve not become an hoarder since I moved here!

3 years have passed since I arrived in this little town in order to keep an eye on my grandparents’ home; who could have thought that in the meantime I was going to become the new mayor?!

3 wonderful years I’ve shared with my neighbours, my friends, my new family. All the sweet memories are coming back at once slowly getting bittersweet in light of my imminent departure.

Still in my bed I try to focus on the last few thing in schedule for today:

* Breakfast with Cookie, she insisted in making her famous pancakes one last time...I’ll miss her so much!

* Then I’d go and say my goodbyes to Reese, Cyrus and Harvey. I wish them all the joy possible!

* Back home to prepare some rice salad for the town pick-nick, this was Friga’s idea!

* After that what?! My suitcases are already full and in custody at the train station. The lunch will probably turn into dinner ... my last thing to do is to enjoy this day with everyone that cares for me!

I’ve to get up and start doing something or I’ll end up crying again!

Walking towards Cookie’s home was a nice stroll through the nice garden I’ve helped planning. I still the remember the frustration when Klaus and I only managed to create red roses, “at least this colour reflects my feelings for you” he always said giggling, what a smug, flirty friend I got!

When I arrived at her door the smell of the dozens of carnations all around made me feel dizzy, so I sat on the nice tree stump with a strange hearth shaped design on it. It was indeed a lovely day. Cookie came outside wearing her favourite green apron and rushing me in: “ I’ve made pancakes, cookies too you know I learned a new recipe from Chevre, you like orange juice right?! I found some pretty ones in the orchard on the other side of town...” I loved to see her talk incessantly whenever she felt sad or uncomfortable.

“I’ll miss you, I’ll miss you all, I hope you know that” I interrupted her.

Putting the sweets tray on the table the pink dog came sobbing towards me, opening my arms I hugged her:

“Why do you have to leave us?!”

I never thought about how to answer that question.

I just smiled at her and said “Aren’t we hungry?!”. That was enough to make her jump again in the chicken picking toppings, fruits and everything she had prepared for our ritual breakfast together.

“I’ll see you this afternoon! Thanks again for all the food!” I shouted at Cookie while taking the promenade with the sea view, once again a lovely major project I managed to pull off!

“Why do you have to leave us?!”

This question kept buzzing in my mind, I knew that my time in Ikarnian was going to be limited but I loved it as it was endless, was that an error? I don’t think so.

My dream after all was to be an archaeologist, sure ikarnian had her fair share of fossils and gyroids but I wanted more: I wanted to meet the people that lived when we were not even thoughts! And when I heard the new project of the Nook’s I couldn’t resist!

The opportunity to visit and build a city in the newly discovered archipelago down south. A bunch of island that were slightly mentioned in the books of the ancient tribes that inhabited the world before us, can you imagine my joy when it turned out that it wasn’t just a legend! I need to go!

🕛 11:45

It’s almost noon I have to go back home and start cooking.

Here he is, Pierce, on top of the lighthouse his favourite place. He waves at me and spiralling lands in front of me: “ Going home? Up for a run to see who can beat the record?” Smirk.

Always the same, “3,2,1 the last arriving is a duck!” I yelled while I started running.

His stunned face followed by a funny run was always something that’d make my day. He is such a nice man my favourite Eagle!

What was intended as a competition to see who was the fittest and manliest creature in town evolved in a fast walk between two friend saying what the future was presenting them.

“ I want to open a stadium here in Ikarnian”

“ That’s an awesome idea man! I have some money to spare if you need them”

“ Do you really mean it? That’s a good idea I mean”

“ Of course! You are the perfect eagle for the job! You like all kind of games, you are (surprisingly) good with managing money and the perfect body for a golden statue to put at the front door!”

“ Ahahahahaha, thanks Big L., it means a lot coming from you. Will you come back to see it?”

I noticed his voice lower as he ended the question. I smiled. I took his feathery “hand” and said: “ I promised you I’ll be your friend the day you put your house on my backyar! And what kind of friend would I be if I wasn’t there sharing your achievements?!”

“ Ahahaha I know that. Ahaha. It’s noon already I have to go!” Awkwardly, and with the reddest face ever, he hugged me and in a second he was already up in the sky.

Dammit! I didn’t say goodbye to the alpacas and Harvey! Well it’s late now maybe I’ll see them this afternoon. I need to start cooking that rice salad or we’ll end up with a lukewarm mess.

However like today was also the day of the unplanned dates here I have a snooty penguin and a purple little frog waiting for me in front of my house.

“Friga! Diva! What are you doing here?!” I asked waving at them.

“We are waiting for you Dummy! Let’s make some food together” responded the lady with whom I’ve spent every single day in this town, Friga.

I let them come inside aiming for the kitchen, they keep asking any sort of questions: did I packed all my clothes? Imagine being stranded on a deserted island without enough pants. Did I check my passport? I did Diva I did it already. I smile thinking about these two wonderful ladies helping me cooking. These two in particular were the rocks for me, whenever I needed someone to talk to and receive an honest and direct answer they always were there for me, with some chocolates to help the hard truths more tolerable.

🕛 17:30

We prepared an incredible amount of dishes in the four hours inside my kitchen, humming to our favourite K.K. Songs: Diva and I do really love K.K. Bazaar. Still humming we headed to the small garden where the picknick was held.

Everyone was there, all my neighbours, Reese and Cyrus as well as Harvey. And of course here comes panting Isabelle holding in her paws more cups, plates and bottles anyone of us’d have carry. Her usual self!

The chats were interrupted by food, by games, by stories of this wonderful city.

“ Do you all remember that time we lost Poppy?!” inquiries Harry.

“ Stop!” Yelled the poor squirrel.

“ Chevre came looking for her near my house all preoccupied. Did you see poppy?! Hohoho and when we finally found her she was stuck in a pit !!!” Continues the hyppo.

I pat Poppy telling that I was really worried that time and that’s enough to calm her and put a smile on that lovely face. Her and Chevre insisted on sitting by my sides offering me the food they made; in these three years they mastered all my favourite dishes. I was full but the food kept coming. Once in a while one of them started sobbing by herself and it was my job to reassure them: “ I’ll never forget you!” Or “ of course you can come visit, and so will I do” or “ silly I promised I’d send you a letter every week!” And I meant every single word that left my mouth.

It was getting dark and after kissing and hugging everyone I had to get back home, the train was leaving early in the morning and I’d use a few more hours of sleep.

I started heading come when I felt and heavy arm over my shoulders. I looked up and Klaus was there with a serious face on.

“ Did you really think I was going to let you go home by yourself?! What if a bear came after you?” He giggled.

“Thanks, it’s handy to have a bodyguard!” I said with my eyes watering.

We never needed to talk much, when we first met we knew we were meant to be friends right away. He lived right in front of my house after all, a small river diving us...but a bridge was built the same week he moved in.

We shared a lot of interests, history, politics, art countless were the hours spent at one of our places looking at books or paintings. I loved him so much and he knew that.

Our steps kept getting smaller and smallerto let us enjoy the evening breeze as long as possible.

“ Will you please keep and eye on my peach tree in front of my house? You can take as many as you need” I asked.

“ Don’t even need to ask that”

“ You know I will come back once in a while right? And you have to come as soon as I build an house...you’ll have a room just for yoursel..”

He interrupted me by giving the biggest hug a boy could handle. His fuzzy yet soft fur tickling me. All the tension of these days left my body as I was a sponge being squeezed.

“ Thanks” I murmured. As I said we never needed to talk much.

A quick peck on the cheek and here I was alone already safely at home.

I put on my pyjama and I went straight away to bed. The thoughts were many but the stress and fatigue of moving was taking its toll.

My last night in Ikarnian was scarily getting closer and closer. Goodnight to you my friends.

[krixwell-liveblogs]

I looked at the others, and they were all moving into cover.  Kaiser, Fenja and Menja had all ducked into an alleyway.  Bitch and her dogs were disappearing around the far corner of the same building, making only the scratching noise of claws against concrete.

Ahead of us, a trio of people in ABB colors crossed the street.

What are the ABB colors, anyway? I think it might’ve been mentioned back in Gestation, but I don’t remember.

A guy and a girl who looked like they might have been gang members before Bakuda’s hardcore recruitment drive were talking.  A teen who was about my age trailed behind them, looking too scared and worn out to be anything but one of the new recruits.

I wonder if Wildbow intended some commentary on war and involuntary recruitment into the military with this whole thing, on top of establishing Bakuda’s cruelty and the raising of the stakes.

They were all armed.  A machete dangled from the male thug’s hand, while the girl was toying with a handgun.  The scared looking kid had a baseball bat with nails hammered into it.  People really did that?  The nail-studded baseball bat?

Ahaha! I don’t know, do they? It’s common in fiction, but...

[midnightwalkin]

!!

Let Me Ramble About My OCs

Send ‼ for an oc I want to make!

It was an unusually hot June. That's want Aunt Sophie said this morning from her yellow porch. Avery thought her aunt complained too much. She wiped away a bead of sweat from the side of her face as she stood in front of the window. The sun seemed to bounce off everything man-made in town, every sidewalk, window and road. It only felt cooler when she walked along the dirt path on the outskirts of the yards, but, here she was, swimming in reflected sunlight.

The paint outside the shop was that special sort of white, the kind that still glistened even though it had long dried. There was a feint hint of sawdust in the air around the doorway. Avery sniffed it in with a light smile. Her grin dropped when she caught a second glimpse of the crocodile's glass eyes in the window. She squinted and came closer to the glass. At the crocodile's feet was metal bowl filled with teeth. Hung around the edge was a handmade sign that said "Human - $1 each" Avery tapped the window, hoping the teeth might bounce, when someone in the background off the shop waved at her. She ducked on instinct. The wood popsicle in her mouth left her tongue dry as she squatted in the front door. Her metal buttons burned the back of her hand.

She sat there, frozen for at least ten, fifteen minutes. A car drove by and sent a blast of hot air against her cheek as Avery stared at the bowl of teeth just a hand's reach away. The bones in her knees creaked as she slowly stood back up and looked into the shop from the door's small window. Everything beyond the glass was a milky haze. Blue, brown, and beige shapes blend together, however she could make out at least the lines of shelves and a counter at the far end. There was no familiar shiver of a human figure. Her greens eyes shot to the alligator's outstretched hand leading to the door. Jitters ran up her spine and she suddenly felt a blast of winter run through her bones. She hopped back and forth on her feet, searching for courage, before she finally grabbed the brass doorknob and pushed the door open with a lurch.

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I gues this counts as "want to make" because I've barely written about her in my spare time. I wanted to write something inspired by the feeling of summer in America and the music of Gregory and The Hawk. It's about a little girl named Avery who stays with her Aunt Sophie every summer. Her aunt lives in a small town so she kind of maps the place out in her head whenever she visits, but this year a new store opened and its an Oddities shop. Its run by a pair of married women (I havent named them yet) and they host all sorts of strange events Avery goes to. Like retired circus performers talking about what the circus used to be like or an open mic night for folk songs.

This originally was just going to a be short story but im not so sure? I do have to work on Avery herself though, she has a loooooong way to go. I havent been able to touch it in months though, i've been so busy. But now that summer is actually here i might try to pick it up again. I just really want to capture images like ice tea being left on a porch, a jar of jam, or dirt roads under a bright sun. Stuff like that. Also lots of hot dogs, hamburgers, and milkshakes because that is literally 80% of a kids diet in summer, like, that was all i ate myself ahaha