thinking about how eiji's a pole vaulter and how ash talks about eiji "flying" and how eiji's associated with bird imagery and how eiji's free (unlike ash) and how eiji comes in on a plane and leaves on a plane and how ash cannot fly, ash cannot be free, how nyc is ash's prison, and how ash is the leopard who dies climbing the mountain, unable to live at such elevation, how he was trying to reach the sky and be free but was always stuck to the earth, how he chose to die instead of climbing back down, how he chose to die where he could see the sky and hope and freedom almost like a bird with eiji's letter right in front of him rather than letting everything go wrong and ruin it once again, how eiji's a failed pole vaulter anyway, how a bad fall ruined his career and grounded him (physically and emotionally), how it took flying to america and meeting ash and needing to save him and skip for him to try flying again, how he landed hard and harsh and still the thought of that escape compelled ash to protect eiji at all costs because if he could fly that means something to him, even if he doesn't think he can fly, how eiji is the manifestation of his hope and how when he breaks and asks eiji to stay with him a while he folds himself over his legs and weighs him down and traps him and grounds him, how ash fights like hell to keep eiji alive not because he thinks he can be like him (hopeful, flying, innocent), but because he makes him forget the gravity of his situation, and so he can see eiji fly again. how he wants to see him escape. how eiji is a bird and ash is a wildcat and how ash never once saw eiji as prey. how eiji never saw ash as a predator. how it is eiji's naivete that first endears ash to him, how it is his freedom and flight and removal from darkness and his ability to leave that darkness that really roots eiji in ash's blood as something essential to him keeping on living in this hell of nyc. how it is that distance from the violence and that hope for the future that ash chooses to surround himself in as he dies. how ash dies in a dream because he feels more than anything that he can't fly like eiji, that he can never leave. how his violence is a part of him and will be forever, how it weighs him down. how he wants to enjoy the view from the mountainside rather than looking up from the ground below. as if they can both fly. as if he is with him up there and not grounded. eye-to-eye with what he can't have, seeing eiji's homeland: the sky. how he dies trying to reach the top because he couldn't take retreating and trying again. how ash, tired and tired and tired and convinced it will go on forever if he crawls back down the mountain, chooses to close his life deluged in eiji, in eiji's insistence that they can fly together, in eiji's hope for him and for them, in eiji's beautiful dream. how ash dies without trying to realize that dream. how ash, in dying, destroys it.
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i swear to god i've literally made long posts of romance novel recommendations before, featuring book covers, which meant that:
the book was going to be about people falling in love. because that's the plot of romance novels. there might be other set dressings, like a murder or the reform act of 1867, but those are secondary to the main plot (some people don't want to kiss, but then they do, but they can't until they can) (this is an oversimplification but you get what i'm saying here)
the people who fall in love are most likely going to be on the cover, especially if they're marginalized because authors like to be clear about that kind of thing
and i still. STILL. on a post that was at least half diverse romance where various queer models of color were about to kiss on the covers. on a post where i mentioned the set dressing or any identities not immediately obvious from the covers, which were all pretty obvious. on a post that i mentioned was exclusively romance novels and were not going to be of interest to anyone who doesn't like kissin' books. got angry comments of:
but what is it about??????
i don't care about white people, this list is not for me
i don't care about straight people, this list is not for me
i don't have any money, where can i pirate these
some people have one standard accusatory response about every book they weren't planning to buy anyway and there is nothing, literally nothing, you can do to stop them from regurgitating it right up to and including telling them directly "this book is everything you say you want and also it's free right now"
... but at least the "is it gay" crowd tends to enthusiastically support your shit as soon as they find out the answer is "yes"
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School started and now i dont have as much time as before to mingle around social media ^^; that doesnt mean i wont check in time to time!
Anyways this is all i could manage, eat up
O'Neil can extend himself now ooo
Took inspiration from a creature called "manananggal" from filipino folklore! The mechanical spine is a placeholder for now while i finalize his and elias' concepts, but km definitely putting this in!
Here's a VERY rough draft of what i want him to look like when he "extends"!
So,,, woe, long oneil be upon ye
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Sampo & Caelus are so important to me, I love them. To me they are bros. Buddies. Partners in mischief making and chaos. Caelus is a total weirdo and Sampo is always getting Up To Something, and they both hate being bored or stagnating, so they regard each other as an endless source of entertainment and amusement.
They're the kind of friends that just kind of see each other when they see each other, and when they do cross paths they greet with that funny hands-clasped-between-them-and-one-armed-hug thing that guys do. Then they go to a bar, annoy the local population, kick up a ruckus or cause some kind of mischief somewhere, and go stumble into a hotel room to sleep it off.
They did this a few times in Belobog, and Gepard once found them on a morning patrol passed out in a gutter together. Sampo was sacked out with a newspaper over his face. Caelus was sprawled out next to/on top of him in the most awkward and uncomfortable position a human body could possibly contort into. Both refused to explain anything zkzkkskd
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Edward -> Èideard
hello dear friends! just letting you know that i have decided to try out the scots gaelic spelling of my name for a while to see if i prefer it to the english one. i deliberated about the matter for a long time before settling on edward but i have been Gazing Wistfully at the alternate spelling ever since then so i figured i may as well give it a chance given that i am as much scottish as i am english in all except physical location. in my accent the pronunciation is the same, and most of you call me ned anyway, so there will probably be very little change on the whole, but [vague gesture]. who am i to resist a little E with an accent
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MiqoMarch Day 17 - Free Day
AU Jobs pt.3: Striking
Perhaps in a universe where Arsay could rely solely on her own aetherpool to back up her martial skills, she would make quite a competent samurai or monk.
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