#abled ppl can talk about their mental health experiences here

[seireitonin]

“Toby/ other characters would be an abuser!1!” A talk on why that pisses me off

Hi. My name is Seirei. I don’t want to share super personal shit on the internet, but due to certain factors in my life I have BPD. (this is NOT self diagnosis. I have been to a professional and for now they think I have this due to certain trauma/ symptoms I’ve shown) This is part of the cluster B personality type. That being said Toby and many other creepypasta characters either canonically have ASPD/ BPD or it’s a generally accepted headcanon that they do. Now this in itself doesn’t bother me if it’s done well and with research. But the problem is most ppl just slap these labels onto them without doing the proper research. I’ve gotten multiple comments on my TikTok like “well I think Toby is an abuser bc he has ASPD/ BPD” I hate that. I hate that so much. You guys say it’s for “realism” but you’re just demonizing mental disorders. You’re demonizing people like me. In you having your “realism” youre hurting me and ppl in the cluster B personality type. ASPD/ BPD doesn’t instantly make you an abuser. These are personality disorders brought on trauma. Especially trauma with parents/ family. People with ASPD/ BPD know that we’re not well all the time. We’re suffering from disorders that affect our lives. From trauma/ experiences that we didn’t ask for. These are DISORDERS. These aren’t fake edgy illnesses that you can slap onto a character with no thought when you want them to be angsty. For example when ppl say “Toby would be an abuser/ not be capable of love because of his ASPD and he went through abuse in his past” not only are you taking away the depth of his character, you’re just straight up demonizing mental disorders. If you read his story, he loves his mom and sister so much. People with ASPD can love. But it does cause him to be obnoxious and rude. But this isn’t coming from a place of malice. He’s a traumatized man w a disorder! This isn’t me saying Toby can do no wrong and he’s 100% healthy. Toby definitely has issues and I’d never erase that. But to call him an abuser because he has ASPD is so gross and you’re just demonizing ASPD to be edgy without doing research on it or the cluster B personality type in general. As I said before, people with cluster B personality type KNOW we have disorders. We live with them every day. They affect our lives, our relationships, ourselves. We know that we fuck up and what we do isn’t healthy all the time. We KNOW. We’re not doing it because we’re “abusers” we’re suffering and hurting. Again this isn’t me saying that everyone with BPD/ ASPD is a good person who’s willing to do the work and grow. There are bad people with these disorders. But that doesn’t mean everyone who has them are instantly abusive. I’m not an abuser at all. Never have been and never will be. But BPD does affect me and the way I act that can come off as hurtful/ unhealthy and I KNOW THAT. Im always actively putting in the work to be better, like a lot of people with ASPD/ BPD. Just because we have these disorders doesn’t instantly mean we can’t change/ be better. Doesn’t mean we’re not humans with emotions/ trauma of our own. Toby obviously had to do some kind of inner work to be able to be with Clockwork the way kastoway portrayed them. (If it’s canon or not is irrelevant here)When you say shit like “Toby is abusive bc of ASPD/ BPD” that’s what you’re telling us you think of us. You see us and treat us like monsters but then talk about how much you love Toby/ other characters for having our very real disorder. ASPD/ BPD can be seen as two sides of the same coin. They have so many similarities but are shown in different ways. Do proper research before you talk about mental health because you’re stigmatizing/ demonizing disorders that are already looked down upon. Toby does canonically have ASPD and possibly BPD but it’s written into his character pretty well(as well as a 13 year old in the 2010s can do) and now that ppl are older we can actually analyze his character/story correctly. But Jeff and many other characters still aren’t getting this same treatment and they need it.Do better.

[scilifig]

Hi guys long time no see! i feel extremely sad for not saying this earlier and honestly haven’t vent had the energy to write this, but I’ve been inactive for a while on this acc. I never rlly thought i would make this tweet, but im not as engaged in this fandom as i once was, partly due to my mental health not allowing me to enjoy as much as i used to, and other factors. Its honestly been so upsetting feeling myself slowly start to distance myself, and slowly not being updated on content, whereas in the past i would never miss a piece of content and it was the only thing i thought about. i no longer understand certain niche tweets about current content and have lost all energy to even bother to scroll tl. its honestly been such a journey trying to find myself and understand what i enjoy outside of this fandom, because for so long it has been the only thing going for me, and i feel like i had such a strong attachment to the cc’s i enjoyed, and found my health and headspace got worse when there wasn’t content, and was so anxiously attached to twitter and never wanted to miss out on anything, and i felt so left out all the time. honestly the meetup was one of the most joyous, beautiful, experiences, but also quite traumatic for me.

another thing i haven’t mentioned is the toll its had on my mental health being fixated on a content creator that is treated so terribly, and is seen as punching bag of the internet in most cases, and having to see discourse after discourse and seeing everything’s antis are saying was so draining. i feel like that ruined my mindset, because before i had twitter, i didn’t even know what antis were and i was enjoying content as it was, and honestly didn’t even know what stan twt was. i could talk about the negative effects this app has had on me, but i want to acknowledge the good.

i just want to say that i still absolutely love the dteam and i feel like i always will, they have been such a huge part of my life and i will forever be grateful to them, im so excited for new things coming and im so proud of dream and all the new music and future endeavours! i wish nothing but the best for them all, and will support them for a long time to come! i hope everyone in the fandom experiences so much love and happiness, and has so much more amazing content to enjoy!

i dont want to get too emotional, but i am truly so grateful for this community. it genuinely saved me and im not able to articulate it with words. I had no idea that there was such a community like this on the internet, that was so loving and accepting, so talented with so many incredible creatives and beautiful human beings. all of this made me feel loved in a way i never knew i could feel. i have met so many beautiful people that are now some of my best friends and i dont know what it would be like without them, and to all my mutuals and anyone thats ever interacted with me, thank you. i love you all so dearly, and the suppourt i have gotten on my art has felt unreal. i never understood why i even gained followers, and was honestly so shocked that ppl would see something i created, and like it enough to comment the nicest things imaginable. honestly im getting teary eyes while writing this and im sure that this format of writing might be a bit difficult to read and im rambling but thank you so much. if you have taken time to read this far!

i’ve been active on my private account posting about random life updates but also about other things i like, such as cartoons! i do spam alot over there and i totally understand not wanting to follow me if u dont share the same interests, but if u are interested in seeing me on ur tl, u can always follow! @/curlywurly1239

im not sure what i want to do with this acc as i dont want to annoy ppl with posting art other than what i was followed for, so i think ill leave it as is! i think ill still be on here sometimes to support my moots and talk every now and then, but not very frequently! again thank you so much i love you all so much, i hope u are all doing well, and if not, i hope u are treating urself kindly because you deserve the entire world and more, and you deserve love and care! tysm if u read all this im so grateful for you guys 💕

[golbrocklovely]

Random question,

Were you homeschooled? If you were, I have literally no socialization when it comes to people besides family. My mental health is rotting, I'm extremely emotionally sensitive, and I feel I really need friends, like it just feels like it would help alot.

What do you think?

i was only homeschooled for 8th grade, but i do get the sentiment of not knowing how to make friends. i used to have a big friend group that i've since lost bc back in 2020 my best friend of 10 years (and basically my life line to that group) decided she didn't want to be friends with me anymore bc her life was too stressful and she figured she was a shit friend anyway so she should cut me loose (along with a mirade of other things that went on that she blamed it on). so, i haven't had a core group of friends in a long time and i struggle to connect with ppl.

i will say, your best bet - at least at first - is to try to make friends online based on things/fandoms you are a part of. i have my couple friends on here, and even tho we almost exclusively talk about snc related shit, i still count them as my closest friends. and it's nice to be able to talk to them about that stuff.

and as for in real life stuff you can do to make friends, idk how old you are, but try to see if there are any local groups or events you can join in your area. see if there is a book group at your local library, see if there are any classes at a community center you can take. hell, even getting a job where some of the ppl in that place are the same age as you is good starting point as well. when you are in forced proximity with ppl, you tend to befriend others more often. that's why a lot of us were even able to have friends in school.

try to go into everything with an open mind. and genuinely remember that 99% of ppl are a, in the same boat as you (confused and don't know what to do next) and b, aren't trying to hurt your feelings. most ppl are nice. of course there are assholes, but try not to let ppl like that bring you down. and gentle reminder, you most likely are not as awkward as you feel. and i know that from personal experience lol

also, my biggest recommendation is working on yourself as well and learning to become your own best friend. i know that's very cliche and silly to say, but highkey one of the best choices i ever made was learning to cut myself some slack and start being nice to myself. if you can afford it, consider therapy. but i know that's not always an option for ppl (even myself). try to do some introspection on who you are, the obstacles you've gone thru and overcame, and do your best to be nice to yourself. i'm telling you, when you start to actually like yourself and give yourself a break, especially on the things you had no control over in the first place, life starts to feel a lot less harder to deal with.

even if your first step is to start reading self help books - do that. write out your feelings more, explore why you act the way you do and if that's something you want to change. set goals that are reasonable, put pride into yourself. treat yourself like you would someone you are friends with. think of yourself as someone worthy of love, bc you are.

but let it be known that this will not happen overnight. i wish it did, but it took me YEARS, i truly mean years, to finally start liking myself and having any resemblance of confidence. it will not happen in one go. you have to be consistent and constantly working on yourself. and i know that can be difficult. but in the long run it will do wonders for yourself.

i wish i had all the answers for you, and i wish i knew the best course for you to take. and i wish you all the luck in the world. i truly believe you will make friends and start a great path on your mental health journey. it won't be easy, and it will take a lot of time, but it's worth it bc you deserve that. you deserve happiness <3

[waterbearable]

rant about media literacy and genuine commitment to justice/equity for "leftists" below bc i'm. annoyed.

ok so. annoyance prompted by a twt post. nothing against the op, i don't know this person, this is really abt the content of the post itself. reproduced here:

Ngl if your show's opening villain monologue is just "disabled people deserve to be able to exist without constant suffering" and it's framed as ontologically evil, yeah go fuck yourself

on the surface, seemingly good point! seemingly good post! i certainly don't disagree with the idea on the surface. i am curious as to what this is referencing. apparently, it's referencing the show d*pesick. and here's the thing. this seems to remove DS from its context. granted, i've not watched the entirety of the show, but i have watched the episode and this scene. and sure, its villain is talking about how people deserve to have pain relief and disabled folks/folks that experience chronic pain should not have to constantly suffer. but the villain that op is talking about is literally a head of a private pharma company. i guarantee you that this man was not trying to innocently market a drug for disabled folks!!! and the show doesn't seem to be saying that pain management is bad-there are ppl in this show, first episode, experiencing severe pain from workplace injury that are shown in a sympathetic light. these people don't deserve to suffer. you don't want these people to experience pain-but you also don't want big pharma to be selling people pain medication that can be addictive!

i'm certainly not an expert in the subject or perfect in my interests, but i do care about health equity. i care about harm reduction-which means not throwing people who use substances to the side. it does not mean cutting off all access to substances and leaving people to suffer, whether they are using for pain management or not.

so what's my point?? my point is not that d*pesick is a good show. i couldn't care less. my point is that when we get takes like this, you're ignoring context in favor of the surface-level progressivism that is easy to promote on social media. you're ignoring history, you're often ignoring SEVERAL aspects of class, race, gender, ability, etc that play into larger societal problems.

and that is exactly how corporations and propaganda get you. because they can take the surface language of progressivism, they can take the language that you want to hear to feel safe and then screw you. they can talk about self-care and shame you for being mentally ill in the same breath. they can emphasize diversity and inclusion while alienating the people of color in the room. and if you are actually committed to serving communities, if you are actively committed to equity and justice, you have to be smart. you have to think critically.

[paige-pup]

but the whole point of their post was, in a very gentle and sympathetic way, that if you cannot eat veggies you need to find a way to be able to.

I understand that there are many reasons why someone might struggle with eating vegetables (hi! autistic person here! I am not scoffing at those issues - I still literally can’t eat brussel sprouts without throwing up!)

But long term, the malnutrition of not getting vegetables in your diet WILL kill you, and in the meantime it will make your mental health, your energy levels, and your physical health significantly worse. I get that you have friends who aren’t dead yet - that’s because you guys are young. If your friends do not start working on this now, they are not going to have the long lives they deserve.

The post didn’t say “if you can’t stomach vegetables tough shit, go eat a plate of broccoli right now.” It said that is a problem that you genuinely need to work on, and find solutions that work for you. Try new ways of cooking and preparing them. Experiment with recipes you can hide them in. Look into foods designed for getting veggies into small kids, e.g those dinosaur chicken nuggets with vegetables mixed into the meat. I’m sorry, I know it’s not fair and I know it’s really easy to fall into defensiveness if it feels like someone is scoffing at your disability, but part of having a disability IS finding ways that work for you to love yourself and keep yourself as healthy as possible.

People with issues around vegetables, yourself and your friends included, deserve better than to have you throw up your fists and defend something that will hurt and kill you.

so i totally get why you feel this way (and also i do eat vegetables not that it matters) because i also care a lot about my health but the post and my reply are talking about a specific group of people (pw eating disorders/sensory issues) and a significant portion of them cannot atm and will not ever be able to (this is also completely fine) and i cannot stress enough that this is not something that is just hard its impossible for some of us(i personally have been whooping my eating disorders ass but lots of people cant)

and all of those things you mentioned are great but they arent the end all be all like yall like to act like sure physical health is to *me* and probably you too but to other people (especially ones who cant)? because as someone with an eating disorder (i cant talk for ppl with sensory issues but i imagine its a similar experience) sometimes even when you want to eat youd rather starve and when its like that all you can do is ride it out and hope it ends but it doesnt for some people

also i fight for what i think is right and sure i do deserve better than to have to but people like you still exist so we cant all get what we want (:

[trans-axolotl]

hey ive only recently learned that antipsychiatry is a thing and im trying to learn more about it. i came across your psych ward post and i totally see your point. and im trying to think about what could be done differently. for example a couple years ago my friend had drug induced psychosis and his friends brought him to a hospital where he then had to stay in the psych ward. especially in the beginning i could tell he hated it there. but at the same time he was having delusions. and unfortunately i just dont know what else couldve been done in that situation to help him. do you think theres a better way to deal with that kind of situation? or would it only be possible to deal with it differently in a totally different world? i hope its ok to ask u this question im just interested in ppls perspective who have personal experience w this

hey, anon! thanks for the ask.

I think it can be really difficult at first to imagine what alternatives to psych wards are when psych wards are all we've ever known. It can feel like the options are psych wards or no mental healthcare at all, which really sucks! But I firmly believe that there are other options, and in fact there are people creating those in the world right now. My answer might get a little long, but I'm going to try to organize my thoughts!

Replacing psych wards is definitely a big task, and is one that requires fundamentally reshaping the entire psychiatric system. Right now, so much of mental healthcare is really entwined with the restrictive, carceral, and oppressive systems of government. Whether it's the fact that most crisis hotlines call the police, that therapists have mandatory reporting laws around self-harm, or incredibly restrictive medication laws that make it difficult for people to actually get the meds they need, almost every area of professionalized mental health is connected to this fucked up structure. Lots of different parts of the mental health care system work together to perpetuate psychiatric incarceration, so it's not just psych wards that are the problem.

Another factor that feels important to me when talking about getting rid of psych wards is addressing some of the factors that push people into psych wards in the first place. There are always going to be mentally ill/mad/neurodivergent people and there are always going to be people in crisis, but I think that if our mental healthcare system wasn't so fucked, that maybe some people would be able to get help before things get to a crisis point for them. If medication was more accessible, if therapy wasn't super expensive, if there is more acceptance and education and resources and communities were better informed about how to support mentally ill people, then maybe not as many people would end up in some types of crisis. We can't talk about getting rid of psych wards without also talking about fighting against racism, colonialism, capitalism, transphobia--the things that are contributing to a lot of people's experiences of crisis.

In terms of actual physical replacements for psych wards, something that I think is really promising is peer respite houses. Basically, peer respite houses offer 24/7 crisis stabilization, staffed by people with lived experiences of mental health. They differ from psych wards in that they are not locked spaces, they are usually in a home-like environment, they are not focused on psychiatric diagnoses, and there's a large focus on trying to eliminate power imbalances between staff and residents. Here's a great link to read more about the mission and structure of peer respite. Here's a link to a mostly current directory of peer respite in the USA. I think peer respite is pretty awesome, and that's definitely something that's on my personal crisis plan for when I get to a crisis point where I cannot stay safe living on my own.

Realistically, psych wards don't really provide treatment, don't really work for many people, and are not really places that you go for healing. When you're at a psych ward, you aren't getting tailored therapy, you often only see a psychiatrist for fifteen minutes once or twice a week, and the stated goal really isn't on healing or treatment. It's on crisis stabilization to get you to a point where you are no longer at risk of harming yourself. And I think peer respite can do crisis stabilization so much more effectively, without locking up people, without giving them huge medical bills, without restraining people or drugging them without consent. There's a lot of peer respites that are connected to outpatient treatments and get people set up with therapy and medication if that's what they need.

I can't really speak to what would or wouldn't have worked for your friend, but I fundamentally believe that mentally ill/mad people deserve the right to our autonomy, and deserve our consent to be respected. It can and does get tricky in cases when people are harming themselves, delusional, or incoherent. However, as someone who has experienced all of those things, that is still not an excuse to just take away people's ability to consent and to lock people up. There are ways to support people who are refusing treatment, don't think there is a problem, or are unable to express their wishes. I could go on about that specific topic for a lot longer haha, but I'm just going to end with the fact that although it can seem like psych wards are the only option, there actually are a lot of people creating community resources as alternatives to psychiatry! We are working on building the different world that we want to see, and even though we are definitely not even close to there yet, there really are so many cool things that people are already doing to support each other.

[symptoms-syndrome]

There's a certain Way I've found many (mostly younger) people talk about mental health that's just so infuriating to me, and I think I've finally been able to pin down why. Firstly it feels very self centered, but it's also generally very New. Someone goes to college and develops depression, or just figured out they have trauma, or what have you. Secondly it's relatively (relatively) manageable, it's stressful and maybe you drop a class or two and make a comic about it or something.

But I think that really infuriates me, and triggers me to be honest, is what this sort of talk means when I'm in the room, when it's directed at me (exclusively or as part of an audience/conversation with others)

Generally, one of two assumptions is made. The first is more uncommon, but it's that I am a Neurotypical™ and thus could never understand The Struggle. Generally this has only been asserted when I've challenged something someone has said. The second is that I'm Just Like Them, after all we both have [insert thing here, often autism as I feel I am somewhat obviously social cue deficient] so we must be the same! But their experience is like. Not at all like mine. And there's no way to correct either assumption without giving out information I would prefer not to give.

Not to mention a lot of people I've met who are Like This need to be the most struggling person in the room, obviously none of their audience could ever be on the same level of horrible, awful mental health crises they experience, none of us could ever understand. Which can be awful frustrating to listen to from someone who just now started suspecting something might be wrong with them when I've been told there's something extremely wrong with me since I was like. Single digits. Like you think you're autistic now because you like weighted blankets and kids TV? That's cool n valid n all but I was harshly punished for rocking back and forth and not being able to be in loud rooms. Like not even trying to do any trauma Olympics just acknowledge that not everyone has this sparkling clean, frogcore experience with autism or whatever.

IDK it just feels. Bad. Seeing ppl all happy to start trying "happy flapping" when I was told to sit on my hands until they went numb. I'm glad they find joy in it, and I'm not even ashamed of being autistic or anything, it's just so utterly unrelatable to me while being treated as some Universal Experience.

Also there's a general theme that showed up in something else today of people mistaking my having worked on myself and made progress as me not having started yet, if that makes sense. Like I'm not curbing my talk about my SpIn because I haven't unpacked my whatever I'm doing it because I've learned how to have good back-and-forth conversation and not "hog the mic" so other people can talk about their interests, too. Or like, I'm not saying I don't want to talk to you about my trauma details/mental illness/etc because I'm "not ready to come to terms with it" I'm saying that because I've recognized that I don't generally gain anything useful from strangers regarding things I've been working on with friends, loved ones and my therapist for years.

I guess for context the other thing I was thinking about was that, when going around and giving names/pronouns, I mentioned I use "any pronouns" and someone said something along the lines of "ugh, I used to be like that but too many people used she and it was gross" and I'm like. Okay? Good for you, but I'm not new to this game. I don't need your help to discover I'm actually a he/they. I've been around the block and I've come to the conclusion, after years of experimentation, that I really am fine with any pronouns. You don't get to decide what you think I want/is best for me.

[chordata-on-alterhumanity]

The Chordata Guide to Otherlinking

Hello! This is a guide written from my own experiences, and a tiny bit of consulting with other ‘linkers. If you can think of ways to improve this, let me know, and I’ll update the original post. This is Version 1.1.

What is otherlinking? What is a linktype?

Otherlinking is the active choice of identifying as something. This sounds very vague, so let’s have an example: Imagining yourself as a lion makes you more confident, so you like doing that frequently. Identifying as a lion becomes a part of your identity.

For many of us, otherlinking includes consciously taking on traits of out linktype (imitating/“fake it ‘til you make it” OR strengthening already existing traits by focusing on them through a linktype). This is a form of mindfulness training. For example: I would like to be as calm and collected as insert-fictional-character. In stressful situations, I think “How would they react?” and try to act that way by imagining myself as them. If this revolves around already existing traits, a linktype can help amplify those traits.

Let's get some vocabulary out of the way first, for everyone who comes across this and isn’t familiar with otherlinking.

● Linktype / Otherlink / 'link- A voluntary identity a person takes on. I.e. I identify as a woodpecker because I want to. This identity can be of a real existing or extinct animal or plant, a mythological being, a fictional being or person, an object, a concept, et cetera.

● Otherlinker - A person with a linktype.

● Otherlinking - The act of having a linktype.

● Copinglink / C'link - A subcategory of linktype. A copinglink is a linktype created for coping with trauma, stress, et cetera.

● Copinglinker - A person with a copinglink.

● Copinglinking - The act of having a copinglink.

Requirements

You might ask yourself: "I want a linktype. What're the requirements to get one?" Well, you already got all the requirements down. To take on a linktype, you need to want one. Whether you feel compelled to take one on, or you feel it could help you in some way, or you decide you want to try this just for the heck of it, it's all valid. You want, you can.

How?

This is the trickier part, and it varies from person to person. I will give a basic rundown. Adjust this for your personal needs where you see fit.

1. Find your being/thing/concept.

2. Examine your reasons for why you want to call this yourself.

3.a. Your reasons for wanting the linktype might already be enough to make the identity feel right.

3.b. If you don't feel yourself clicking with the potential 'link, and struggle with identifying as it, analyze it to find the traits that don't resonate with you. You can change parts of the 'link, or view it through a different lens to make it feel closer to home. I.e. For fictional characters, it can help to disengage from fandom interpretation, or canon characterization, and instead put your own spin on them.

4. Once you've established a connection, you can reinforce it if you want to. A linktype can feel very faint at the start, so here are some examples for what you can do to make it feel more 'You':

● Wear clothing you can associate with the 'link.

● Inform yourself about new hobbies that you can associate with your linktype. I.e. If your linktype is an archer and you've never tried archery before, see if you can find an archery range open to newbies nearby.

● If you are a visual artist, create drawings of your linktype in a way that relates to your irl person. I.e. Draw the linktype in your clothes, or in irl places you've been in person.

● If you're a writer, write something including your linktype in a way that relates to you. I.e. Include them in a story inspired by real life events that have happened to you.

● Make the linktype your social media profile picture.

● Let people know they can use the linktype's name as a nickname for you.

● Change your social media alias/username to be related to the linktype’s name.

● Talk to people who will treat you as your linktype (and not just view it as roleplaying).

Don't be ashamed of expressing yourself in fear of other people’s opinions. Unless you're dependent on them (for money, safety, or other physical and mental health needs), it doesn't matter what they think.

Caution

If at any point in your journey you notice that a linktype makes you feel worse about yourself than you do without the linktype (i.e. feeding into anger, self-hatred), stop it. These dangers can already crop up during the ‘link creation process. Here are ways to go about this, and possible causes:

● Stop engaging with it. This sounds very 'It'll go away if I ignore it long enough', but that's exactly it. A linktype should fade when you don't engage with it anymore. Don't approach this by thinking "I'm not allowed to think about this anymore", but instead, every time when your linktype comes up, acknowledge it, and replace that thought with something else. If you struggle with this, examine what 'triggers' you to think of your linktype. Mindfulness is a powerful thing that often goes underestimated.

● Replace it with a different linktype that doesn't bring these problems.

● If your linktype started off without these issues, try to find out what caused it to change to become negative. Maybe there are other factors in your life that're putting stress on you and it shows through your linktype.

● Maybe you’ve outgrown your linktype. People can change over time, and your linktype could be preventing you from taking the next steps for personal growth, and this can negatively influence your well-being. Try letting go of the linktype. It might turn out the be a freeing experience.

● Talk to a therapist (, or, if you can’t access therapy, an understanding friend). Yes, tell them specifically about the linktype and the problems you have with it. A second person can shine a light on aspects you didn’t notice.

Good to know

A linktype can become an integral part to yourself, and at some point you might find it hard to separate it from yourself. Is this still a linktype? Is it a kintype (otherkin)? That is for you to know and decide. The lines can be blurry, and at the end of the day you are the only person who can decide what labels you want to use and what community has the most in common with you (if you even want to label yourself and interact with ppl w similar experiences). Unless it is harming you (or others), a linktype turned integral is nothing bad. Our environments shape us as people constantly, and a linktype over time can contribute similarly.

🐟

That’s it! If you have questions or need help, feel free to contact me through Asks or DMs. If I’m unavailable, search around a bit to find other otherlinkers who might be able to help you. ♡

[ruvatia]

Sorry if this is a bit much with everything going on, but could I request a scenario where the Paladins + Matt & Lotor have a black s/o and they’re scared abt everything that’s happening in their country and are sad that racial injustice is happening? I’ve been rlly worried the past few days, but if this is smth too uncomfy I understand ;w; Thank you 💖💖💖

This got really long, I apologize but I turned it into half-headcanons with just the main paladins-- i apologize for not doing all the characters you’ve mentioned, but I don’t think they would fit all in a single post anyways www

On another note I hope you and every other reader take good care of their mental health; it’s important to be aware of what’s going on but it’s also important to be in the right mindspace to be able to tackle everything that’s being shared. It’s pain that’s been boiling for a very long time and there is absolutely no shame in taking some downtime to recover before heading back into current issues.

SHIRO:

If you were saddened, Shiro would suggest that maybe you switch to something else; if there was something that he knows will distract you and temporarily have you be a little more at ease, he’d do that!

But also maybe add a little twist-- extra soft blankets (fresh out of the oven! Screw the bills you’re worth it), extra cheese on your favorite dish, whatever it is that can make your smile a little wider, bigger or brighter just let him know!

Would give you hugs if you asked, but usually Shiro pets your head and brushes your cheek for comfort

He also does this when he wants to ask something of you, but thats another story

Why the TV was still on was a mystery to you, you’d stopped listening a long time ago. Your partner besides you noticed, and you felt the hand around your shoulder tighten his grip a little, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Hey, maybe we should watch something else?” he asked softly, brushing your cheek with his hand. “I can’t really listen to this anymore.”

“Yeah… Sure.” you replied, though it felt like an automated response more than your actual opinion.

“Okay, I’ll switch to that weird show Pidge recorded the other day, we agreed to watch it, right?” he replied, quickly grabbing the remote to change the program.

The first episode started playing, but the moment that it did, you felt cold as Shiro left your side.

“Where are you going?” you asked, your interlaced fingers the only thing keeping him close.

“Ah, I thought I’d make us something. We both kinda skipped dinner….”

He’d thought about putting something together that you’d like, maybe order dessert to surprise you but seeing the look on your face, leaving your side was the hardest thing to do right now.

So he gave in, and your both fell asleep until the doorbell rang with your delivery.

KEITH:

I have this headcanon that Keith isn’t very good with physical touch but after the end of voltron and after enough time of humanitarian relief, he learns how important it is for someone that’s in a specific state of mind

So the best he has to offer when his words fail is physical touch

Over your time together he’s learned what you need depending on your mood, and it helped him out lots when you were more vocal about it-- if anything he liked it when you asked for things that he could easily deliver, he’d do anything to see you smile

A hand came over your phone screen, Keith’s fingers lacing into yours and making you drop the device onto the crevices of the sofa.

“Why did you--”

“You’ve been staring at that thing for the past hour, biting at your nails.” he said in a worried tone. “That’s enough. We’re going to bed.”

“But it’s just--”

“We’re going to bed.” he repeated in a harsher tone, lifting you off your seat.

Keith sat down onto the bed first, pulling you into him. You both fell onto the bed, Keith quickly pulling the covers over your shoulders before his arms came around you.

“My alarm is my phone.”

“That’s nice, but we both know we have nothing to do tomorrow.” he replied right away, making you chuckle.

“Keith…” you called, your hands sneaking up to his face.

You brushed away some of his hair from his face as he gave you a complicated expression, unable to reflect the small smile you wore. He knew things were shit outside, that being apart from your family and other loved ones was a toll on both you and that lately negative thoughts have plagued you more often than not but Keith, despite his good intention was still somewhat of an awkward man.

“Thank you.”

He kissed you in reply and you both left it at that, glad that he had someone like you to meet him halfway.

LANCE:

Lots of hugs the moment he feels something is off with you

Will be a brat™ for the sole purpose of distracting you, bET

I feel like post-series Lance tries his best to be as observant as Allura and tries to understand others better-- but it didn't take a genius or incredible empath to know why your eyes looked like they were about to overflow at the sight of the news.

I’d like to think that Lance, with a big connected family is one of the paladins that very easily gets what you’re going through, wouldn’t be surprised he’s been called one or two things in his past either

That being said it doesn’t mean that he completely understands your personalized struggles with racial injustices that you encounter everyday; as another minority himself + coming from a culture and upbringing that might be different than yours, its a very different experience.

Memories flooded as the news anchor spoke about “lootings” and as you scrolled down your feed to see feeble attempts at sympathy from local peacekeepers. You sigh and retweet another thread, only to find something equally as shocking right after. You stopped commenting in quote retweets a while ago, you felt like you were constantly repeating that none of this was okay and that a reform was desperately needed. Rather than typing out your thoughts you typed out your name, address and email over and over again, signing one petition after the other.

Hearing sigh after sigh, Lance eventually put an arm around your shoulder. He startled you, but his soft voice made both your shoulders and your guard lower.

“Hey, do you want to make a midnight snack with me? I’m getting kinda hungry.”

“What about that new rule we were talking about? Not eating 4 hours before we went to bed?”

“Every diet has one or two cheat days, don’t they?” he replied, kissing one of your eyelids. “Come on, I’m sure your neck is sore from being like that for so long.”

In the end you both made some soul-food until a food-coma knocked you out until tomorrow. In the morning, you realized that Lance must’ve woken up in the middle of the night because you remember cuddling on the couch, and yet you’re waking up on the bed. Of course, still in his arms.

HUNK:

Having a sensible heart, I feel like both you and hunk would struggle a little about maintaining a healthy distance with current events.

Though overtime he would understand that keeping in touch with everything that’s going on is important, but not at the sake of burning out

His best bet, to him, to pull you out of a such a dark space is with comfort food

“Ok ppl feel like they want to eat a horse but they actually cant when they’re in that mind space Hunk, let’s make something sweet and small; something direct and straight to the point! Let’s add smiley faces on it!”

Your turned down the volume from the news, let your head fall backwards and brought up your forearm over your closed eyes. It felt warm and made it you realize that you had probably been staring very intensely at the screen as a wave of comfort hit your eyes the moment they were drowned in darkness. Letting out a deep breath, you stilled and let yourself bask in your thoughts until a familiar voice brought you back.

“Maybe a little bit more sugar? No, then it would be disbalanced. The base is already so sweet-- Ah, I have to take the cupcakes out or else they might get burned!”

You felt a smile grow on your lips, making you ignore the horrid news being broadcasted to turn to your partner that as usual, seemed to juggle ten thousand things to create a whole meal.

“What’s going on over here?” you asked, leaning over the counter to note that one of your favorite dishes was made and machines that were mostly used for baking had been brought out.

“Oh you know, just a little pick me up for my most favorite person ever.” he shrugged, but a smile soon came to his face. His hands were full but he leaned over, his lips meeting your cheek. “Things outside are a little dark, so I thought we could both use a little something nice.”

He turned on the machine after dropping a drop of dye to make it your favorite color and within a few minutes the icing was finished. Hunk scooped up a small amount on his finger and brought it to his lips and nod.

“Wanna taste?” he asked you, his finger dipping into the icing.

A mischievous grin spread on your features as you took his wrist and let his finger fall on your tongue, the sweetness quickly spreading through your mouth. The yellow paladin shivered as you let his digit hang in your mouth for longer than necessary, letting out a satisfied hum when you returned it to him.

“Tastes perfect.”

PIDGE:

She knew what could be fixed, she knew how to fix it but this meant she was also aware of how long such a transition would take

I think Pidge would be similar to Shiro: whatever she remembers that helps you be at ease, she would defect to that in hopes to maybe distract you for a while.

I don’t think Pidge is a very touchy person either, so if she reaches out to you _physically_ in worry, it’s a very clear sign she’s serious/anxious

I feel like she would reach out in other ways and then if she knew you were in a specific state of mind where touch was not useful, or if she just also wanted to try things out lol

As you watched the twisted information that was being shared on screen, another message caught your attention. Rather than a small red icon in the corner, a small window appeared in the middle of your computer screen.

<I found a way to modify notifications sent to another device.>

The video had stopped, every horrible gif about police brutality was paused and there was nothing else but the small window pidge had thrown onto your screen. You chuckled, and felt a pressure behind your working chair.

Another message popped up.

<You’ve been catching up with twitter for the past two hours. Surely you’re done now?>

A soft laugh came from you, making Pidge release a breath she didn’t know she was holding. You typed out an answer:

<Is it possible to be completely caught up with twitter? I follow like 500 accounts.>

<Okay, but half of them are just cat videos and the other half are just retweets of said videos.>

<Oh here I was thinking that this was an intervention to brighten my mood. We’re dragging each other’s follows now?>

<Oh please like you don’t want to be dragged, with that kind of follow list.>

<I can’t believe you’ve done this.>

You both laughed, before Pidge turned around and tapped your shoulder. She let her hand float in the air, yours coming to join it as a soon as your turned her way.

“Wanna take a nap?” she asked, letting her head fall onto your shoulder. “I had Chip make some hot chocolate, Hunk style.”

You squeezed her hand, putting your computer on sleep mode.

“Yeah, that sounds nice.”

[zvaigzdelasas]

genuinely asking here, do you think the inability to prepare food for oneself and take showers is a product of capitalism?

I think that 'product of capitalism' is a misleading way of looking at it - "disability" as a coherent category is a modern capitalist framework, so in that way yes. But as to 'would this have happened to my brain if I didnt grow up in capitalism' thats an abstract question bc if you grew up in communism you'd be a fundamentally different person than you are today, so it's an unprovable counterfactual & leads to a lot of kneejerk reactions. There is no universal "You" somewhere out there in the stars. You are a product of the world you live in.

In pre-capitalist societies, there wasn't an idea that all these different ailments (blindness, deafness, leprosy, mental illnesses, etc) were all a part of this one big umbrella, there was specific ways ppl would treat specific people, but no universally applicable category bc different 'disabilities' have different effects on people.

Now this isn't to say we should go back to that, obviously it was incredibly inadequate - it's just to show that having an umbrella category of "people with things wrong with them" is a social choice, and that social choice leads to the development of certain social institutions, social norms, and practices. It's a consequence of capitalism seeing every person as only 'worth' whatever they can contribute financially.

The word "ability" (and consequently "disability") was first used in this context in england to figure out whether a given person should be sent to the Work House or the Poor House, and it was explicitly used to be a quick guess of 'can we wring any sellable Value out of this one?' before moving onto the next one.

Thus, "ability" should be understood as "ability to be exploited" & "disability" as "inability to be exploited" ("exploit" in the marxist sense of, roughly, 'someone else wouldn't be able to make their living without your work').

(This is a good talk abt disability, capitalism, and pre-capitalist societies.)

So what would mental health look like beyond capitalism? Well as a first universal, people would have full control over the products of their own labor, and things would be made for their usefulness as opposed to profitability, so people wouldnt need to prove to capitalists that they're productive enough to deserve to eat (or pitiable enough to eat on someone else's dime).

"from each according to their ability, to each according to their needs" is the most disability-supporting maxim imaginable, and any society not living up to that is failing people.

Your brain is plastic, it is literally impossible for it to not change in response to a changing environment. That also points to your lived environment being an obvious major factor in developing your brain meat to the point it is today. "Nature vs nurture" is a false binary, you are Always & *Only* acting in response to your environment, in comparison to past environments. Plastic changes its shape, but not all at once.

As to "well what if the world got rid of capitalism tomorrow - would I still have trouble with X or Y" if you have trouble with it today, you'll have trouble with it tomorrow. The question is about repetition & the new environments your brain adapts to, as well as broader societal health (mental & physical) programs being a natural new focus, now that production is no longer oriented for profit.

The question is about how we live as vacuum-sealed individuals atomically living in our own individual worlds - that would change, you would be able to live and interact regularly with friends who know whether you experience specific problems & would be driven to check up on you about those out of love and comradery. Having everyone live in their own boxes, sealed away from each other is an ideal handed down to us by the Settler Colonial history of the US & the US's influence on global structures in the last 500 years. "You too can be the brave cowboy living on the frontier, not needing anyone else to take care of you".

Of course that image is completely inaccurate but it's what we have, bc it's also what's easiest to profit off of.

This is a great talk on neuroplasticity & the constraints set upon our neural development by capitalism, maybe a bit academic but it's got lots of good stuff

The question isn't so much "capitalism created x or y & communism will fix it overnight", the question is more about "how is capitalist society hindering each of our growths as individuals" by adding stresses, anxieties, and dangerous norms.

[fairycosmos]

i don't mean to be rude or callous to your anons, but the rising frequency with which you receive anons asking for help or advice or just venting on such things as suicidal ideation/attempts, depression, abuse, and other incredibly heavy topics is a little bit concerning. you're only one person, and as (very truly and genuinely) sweet and kind and caring as you are--you aren't someone who is trained or necessarily always prepared to handle all of that coming your way all the time. you are so incredible in your responses every time but maybe you shouldn't have to shoulder all of that heaviness, y'know? it's one thing for two people to keep each other from drowning and another thing for ten to hold on to one in hopes that the one person knows the way.

i'm really not intending to be mean or blase or dismiss what these anons are going through--it's definitely harrowing and difficult and they deserve to have someone to talk to. i've been intensely suicidal and depressed before, i know how terrible it feels. but you can't be that for everyone. you also deserve to have mental health boundaries and to be able to come on here and not necessarily have interactions exclusively about trauma and depression and other similar topics.

hopefully this doesn't come across like i'm telling you what to do (absolutely not, it's your blog) or like i'm disconnected from what these anons are going through (i get what it's like, i really truly do, and i have the utmost compassion for anyone suffering from what's living in their head). i just wanted to reach out about this because, again, this recent increase has been concerning, and i wish for you and these anons to both be doing well.

have a nice day, love. i hope the pain eases for you.

hey, this is such a thoughtful and like........idk how to say it.....nuanced message. i appreciate it to my absolute core. we've touched on this a lot in the past on here, and i always stress that my go-to is always to direct ppl who are suicidal/in a crisis/in a bad situation to seek professional or legal help, but i also totally get what you're saying.

i actually took a major step back from replying to these types of messages after my sister died simply because i couldn't cope (and often still can't, which is why i still don't respond to them nearly as much as i used) with them. when i was younger, i would write a ton and really try to (naively) tangibly help the person, not realizing that it's not my place or a healthy precedent to set for the blog.

i don't mind ppl using my inbox to vent, truly. there's been people in the past who've gotten very mad at me for not being able to answer them, or for not answering in the "right" way, and that's what i really can't deal with. but if people simply want to use my blog to scream into the void, without all this weird parasocial expectation, then i understand. i definitely get very worried when i see mentions of suicide, and i really try to answer those ones because i feel horrible thinking someone is in a vulnerable place and that me not answering their message could tip them over the edge. i can recognize that that's not great for either of us but i also don't know what to do about it other than offer my support. today, i found the energy to reply to a few of those heavy messages consecutively, which is why it probably seemed like a lot to have all of that on ur dash all of a sudden.

but i'm trying not to pressure myself about it, and i think that's all i can do. i guess i could also encourage people to put trigger warnings in their messages if they are going to send them + to not expect me as a random person to know what to do or say or to even be able to respond in the first place. i feel awful, but i think that's the reality of it. i will do what i can, and i do care. i know what it's like to be in an extremely dark place and to have NO ONE listen to you. like you said, people are going through harrowing and unfathomable experiences and i always think - if they’re reaching out to me, they must not have many good people around them irl. so even if i don't get around to replying, my blog is always here for solace. as long as ppl are cool about it, i can be too.

thank you so much love. i didn't realize i had so much to say about this and i think you're just incredibly correct about it all. i really appreciate ur kind words and how sweet you were to me about it all. especially about my past answers. it means so much. i hope ur having a great day too!! 💗💖 and that ur taking care of yourself ofc 💗💖

[normal-thoughts-official]

I would have loved to see more interactions with the seelies- people who can’t lie but are crafty and secretive sounds fascinating. Think of the dialog! Alec going to magnus for advice since he has centuries of experience talking to them, Alec playing mental chess while trying to maintain peace. Would have loved getting more- but let’s be real, Cassaundra and the show writers weren’t clever enough to actually make any conversations like that of value.

SAME!!!!! honestly i would have loved to see so much more of the seelies. like bro do you understand that their culture predates the VERY EXISTENCE OF HUMANITY??? they are the ONLY kind of downworlders whose culture is completely detached from any human culture, not only because of predating it, but also because of the relative isolationism - which means human culture barely had any influence on their culture and history AS it developed

so like you can literally go fucking bonkers??????????? you can make ANYTHING. they have a whole ass society that doesn't have to have ANY ties to mundane concepts or history AT ALL. complete creative freedom. you could do ANYTHING! and don't get me started on the potential this has, within storytelling, to contextualize a lot of stuff modern western culture sees as natural or timeless as actually pretty fucking specific - like monogamy, cisheteropatriarchy, the gender binary, racism. all immortals have that potential of course since they can come from an array of different cultural and historical backgrounds but seelies in particular have SO much potential that is NEVER! FUCKING! USED! it all goes to waste and they are just a generic vaguely monarchic society that behaves literally exactly as modern western cultural standards. WHY. i'll never stop being salty, especially within sh where all this potential was there and instead they just villainized the seelies like no tomorrow for nO FUCKING REASON, and included a whole plotline about their ruler being a terrible power-hungry person and then proceeded to act as if that would have no influence on the seelies under her rule? thanks for nothing

like i know the seelie queen was so badly written that her own motivations even as a power-hungry wacko didn't make sense or were consistent (like why give simon the mark of cain for example, and for god's sake what kind of power-hungry crazy bitch gives their main enemy the power to literally kill her and destroy everything she has at the blink of an eye, like??? she literally tried to assist in her own genocide, it makes no fucking sense, i fucking hate it here) but if they are going to make her Terrible the least they could do was show how that impacted the people under her rule, especially if they are going to have meliorn be fucking tortured and either forced to display the marks of said torture or choosing to display them themself, like? please give your plotlines one singular thought

but of course it's easier to villainize seelies and reduce them to their obviously tyrannical ruler so they can go back to focusing on the shadowhunters and their issues. nevermind the fact that seelies are obviously equivalent to native ppls/third world countries resisting colonialism/imperialism in sh's stupid ass racial metaphor, which makes making their ruler a big bad unequivocally evil villain that is ruining everything A Choice. and a particularly choicy Choice considering they cast a middle-eastern man to play the most important seelie character. but if they are going to do that they could at least address how the people under her rule suffer and how that's a direct consequence of shadowhunter colonialism and interference, but why would we fkcnig thdo that!!!! when we can have love triangle drama or whatever

and tHEN there is the whole aspect of being unable to lie which is bound to have such an impact on their culture and history since they have to rely on other forms of communication to protect themselves - and considering the whole "tyrannical rule" plotline, to further the queen's agenda in the first place. and how telling the truth without preamble would probably be considered a huge display of trust in a society that has culturally developed so many ways of talking around things. like again the potential of the cultural and historic background for that society! it makes me go insane!!!

anyway all of that to say #JusticeForSeelies and #SeeliePlotlinesNow 2021 and forever. and YES i would have loved to see more interactions between them and other characters, particularly magnus because 1- admittedly i'm a hoe; and 2- magnus was clearly the one that had the most experience talking to seelies and that others relied on for that communication. he also seemed to be the most comfortable with them, which indicates there is either some sort of history there, or magnus just happens to feel relatively at home with the workings of their culture. which makes sense, because magnus also had to develop pretty similar defense mechanisms due to his, A- work as a warlock representative who has to interact with shadowhunters on the regular; B- history with having to deal with asmodeus, which required him to be very smart about what he disclosed and how, especially considering that he had to have been planning banishing asmodeus for a long time before he got to do it; and C- just history with abuse in general. we've seen the way he closed his heart off to new people; but at the same time, magnus is obviously an extrovert and likes to be around people in general. this meant that, in order to be able to both be in the kind of environment where he thrives and protect himself/his heart/his feelings, he had to learn how to interact with people while putting on a convincing façade, which requires pretty much the same sorts of wordplay and defense mechanisms that seelies use

magnus is good at wordplay, he's good at using talking to his benefit; we've seen that. he is also good at hiding and deflecting. he is notably not good at directly lying - every time he directly said A Lie such as "i am perfectly fine and not bothered by this at all :)" it was way less convincing than it was a clear display that he wouldn't budge. even alec, who has difficulty with social cues, noticed the lying and seemed concerned about it. so like. clearly his defense mechanisms were less lying and more dancing around subjects, directing conversation to safe topics, and guiding people to making certain assumptions and seeing sides of his that were safer and he preferred

so in that way it makes sense that magnus is somewhat in his element when dealing with seelies. i think "comfortable" is a strong word because this whole song and dance takes a huge toll on anyone's mental health and energy (which i think is something that could be very interestingly explored in seelies, their collective psyche, and their culture, the way they build relationships, etc. let meliorn have partners they feel 100% comfortable talking without preamble with 2k21), but it's something he is used to and a dynamic he can fall into without as much effort as others who would be second guessing themselves more and going slower, which clearly gives the seelies, who are used to it, an advantage

and like i know that i'm implying a confrontation or sort of situation where they are on opposing sides to seelies here, which i kind of am because i am thinking mostly about magnus' interactions with the seelie queen specifically, since she was the seelie he had the most meaningful interactions with. his interactions with meliorn were very few and almost never relevant, i barely remember them happening outside of generic downworld cabinet interactions tbh. but i don't just mean that because again, stop villainizing seelies 2k21

i also mean just generally that magnus would be in a more comfortable position talking to seelie strangers and slowly working into building a relationship and mutual trust. and just generally understanding them and the workings of their culture because he can empathize with the way they have built their social defense mechanisms. no one is 100% truthful to strangers, but seelies always seem kind of- analytical. and the cultural difference + anti-seelie racism makes them seem untrustworthy to most people, but magnus Gets It, so the potential for friendships! and the mutual understanding and the relative comfort around each other! and both parts understanding the enormity that is letting their walls down gradually and being more direct as time goes by. like.... aaaaaa

and yes magnus becomes a sort of reference on talking to seelies, mostly because he is good at "playing their game", but also making it a point to humanize seelies and making the other parts understand where they are coming from and how they feel :) and just improving their relations, particularly with other downworlders

im not going to get into alec because 1- the relationship between shadowhunters and seelies is already filled with oppression and a lot of complications, and particularly now that the seelie realm is politically fragile due to the loss of their ruler (however terrible she might have been), it would play into either white savior narratives or just straight up colonialism, especially given how alec as a leader already has a history of trying to build tutelage over downworlders (i don't care what his intentions were, it's still true, and although he's learning... well. he's learning, continuous action); 2- that would be more a relationship of opposition and i'm not that interested in that. but i would love to see seelies rebuilding themselves and their relationships and alliances with other downworlders particularly, and all the better if magnus is playing a part in that :)

in short:

more seelies

more magnus with seelies, especially friendships

more focus on the politics of seelies now that the seelie queen is gone

more seelies

more seelies

more seelies

[imagine-your-love-story]

I have a practical questions. It might be easy to take as very critical but I know that u Penny won't read it in bad faith: I'm asking as a person who in the past used daydreaming etc to the point it had negative impact on my life and brief delusions. That's why I'm a bit... well, not concerned but wary? My point is compassion to ppl who also might have tendencies like me in the past: So: What are healthy boundaries to self shipping? When would be it going to far? When would encouragment be enabling? NOTE: I know asking this might be a little tone deaf after the person who want to marry their f/o wondered about heathiness of it all so I wanna make it clear: ANON I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU! I do not think AT ALL you take it out of healthy zone and I am wishing you best :D Have fun and make so much good memories with your spouse :D (haha I was thinking of making my bf into a trophy husband myself ;D)

this is a super good question, anon! and a really important one!

I think it's important to keep in mind that YOU as a physical, flesh and blood living human being, are still rooted in reality. Learning how to recognize and employ healthy boundaries is a constant work in progress and that's okay!

You can still allow yourself to enjoy the attention of a fictional character. You can envision yourself interacting with them, etc. Just as long as you continue to go about your own life.

Daydreaming is okay in moderation of course. And envisioning yourself in a loving relationship, interacting with a character who cares about you can have a tremendous positive impact on your confidence and your emotional and mental health!

It's like that line: "Fake it 'til you make it".

That line doesn't sit well with me. It feels...well...fake. Like I can't grasp it. It feels like plastic in my mouth when I say it.

But imagining my favorite character looking me in the eyes and saying, "I'm proud of you" and "You're strong, you're capable, you've got this"???? That works WONDERS for me!

So in that respect, daydreaming is perfectly okay (and there are a few articles about how imagining a positive outcome is good for your mental health here and here)

For people like you, dear anon, who are a bit more cautious and careful because of the impact daydreaming has had in your life, I think it's important to always employ a level of self-awareness in self-shipping.

If you notice that the quality of your life is slipping because every waking moment is spent daydreaming about fictional characters to the point that you're not eating, you're not socializing, you're not taking care of yourself, then of course that's a problem and I would not encourage daydreaming at that point. I would encourage seeking professional help.

So make sure you check in with yourself and that you know your limits! ♥♥♥

Encouragement that enables you would be ignoring the red flags and telling you to do it anyway. But there's a difference between ignoring red flags and pushing back against negative internalized speech.

Red flags tell you: "There is something seriously wrong with your mental, emotional, and/or physical health. This is a warning sign. Heed it."

Hallucinations/delusions/etc. are a warning sign. If you send me a message and tell me that you're hallucinating your favorite character taking you out to dinner, I will (gently, kindly) pester you to seek professional help.

Negative internalized speech tells you: "You have been fed inaccurate perceptions of your identity that perpetuate a cycle of self-hatred and self-loathing that is damaging your mental health and you need to learn how to reframe that script to say something positive."

If I get a message from you like, "I don't deserve to be loved by my favorite character", I will (gently, kindly) pester you to rewrite this negative self talk with the positive words the fictional character is representing to you.

If someone encourages you to ignore a red flag, RUN (in some cases, the person doesn't recognize it either and they're well-meaning, which is why you gotta check up on yourself!)

If someone encourages you to push back against negative internalized speech, keep that person close because they don't want you to hurt anymore.

Chances are really, really good that someone online won't be able to tell what is a red flag for you. That's why you need to keep checking in with yourself and get help if you think something is wrong!

This kind of got a little long winded and I don't know if I've answered your question(s) or not??? Overall, please look after yourself and if the self-ship community is hitting some sensitive areas for you, please do whatever is best for your well-being and take a break! ♥

(I also want to make a note here that I am not a medical professional and I do not have experience in this field so I can only speak from a general point of view!)

[i-am-a-passenger]

Grace getting off the train hc list:

image description: a spin on the “you’ve been in a coma for x amount of time” meme featuring Grace. Grace’s head is poorly edited onto the face on the patient and the nurse is touching her shoulder saying “you’ve been on the train for ten years” Grace replies “can’t wait to go outside where there’s no pandemic”. end description. 

this one ended up incredibly long... 

- Grace’s number was built up over the course of 8 years where Simon was retraumatising her and she was making herself worse for other ppl’s approval out of a misguided idea of what she was supposed to do, that sort of trauma and straying from the recovery the train intended for her will take a long time to recover from, so Grace gets off the train 2 maybe 3 years after Book 3 finishes. 

- also I like to think that she and her kid friends moved out of the mall car to somewhere else and set up a new camp there, and that some of them waited after getting their exits for Grace to get hers so they could leave together. And so Grace wouldn’t be alone on the train since that’s a huge source of anguish for her and I like the idea of some of the older kids in their teens looking after Grace and making sure she isn’t forced into a perfect leader role again and is able to take time to herself to look after her mental health and pursue hobbies and such so when she gets off the train she’s in a much better headspace and able to have healthier mutually caring relationships with people.

- Grace’s parents never stopped looking for her okay they love her :’[ but losing your only child for several years took a huge toll on their relationship and gave them lots of time to reflect on their not perfect behaviour and realise they were hurting Grace and why they treated her that way. 

(taking huge inspiration from @blackfemmecharacterdependency​ ‘s no train au for Grace’s family here...) Grace’s mother realised she was living vicariously through her daughter and that her investment in Grace’s dancing and fame wasn’t healthy. So with Grace gone for such a long time and her unable to do that she turned inward and realised that about herself, and set to making her own life better and happier for herself so she wouldn’t need to project all these standards and unfulfilled dreams onto her daughter. 

I like to think that Grace’s mum used to be like, a singer or an actress or something and was convinced to give that up by her husband to raise their daughter, and with Grace gone she returns to her career and reconnects with her old friends and colleagues. Also it’s important to me that as part of this she stops straightening her hair and goes natural, and while she still dresses fancy she does so more for herself than keeping up professional appearances. So when Grace comes back she’s ready to be accepting of her fashion choices and self expression rather than control her.  

As for Grace’s dad, he seems like the type who’s overly invested in what things should be like to the point where he ignores or tries to change how things actually are, even if doing so hurts people. Like, when he got told Grace had shoplifted his response was “Grace would never steal” and he argues with the police officer, which really hurts Grace because rather than talking to her and thinking about how she feels and she would steal, he jumps into protecting his idealised image of Grace, and as we see with Grace’s mum scolding her for dressing up these parents really projected their ideals onto their daughter and traumatised her. 

So for him it would be about letting go of controlling others and realising why he had to make Grace into someone else and mould her into what he wanted. I think after a few years her parents hire therapists for themselves and he does a lot of digging into his past to become a better person. 

So when Grace comes back she goes home to a household that’s not perfect, but it’s trying to heal. 

- Grace and her parents have a kind of rocky relationship for the first few months that she’s back. Grace has a hard time opening up about everything that happened on the train for obvious reasons, I mean... a magical train is hard enough, but corunning a cult on a magical train and almost getting killed by your best friend and a bunch of indoctrinated children? the Hazel thing? hard to get all that out, especially to parents who haven’t exactly been sympathetic towards her. 

Also Grace’s dad kinda took a few steps back in his growth and tried to get Grace to start dancing again and just pushed for things to return to normal and for Grace to fit back into the plan he had for her life, partly because of not worked through stuff and partly because of guilt that she’d missed out on so much of her life (her entire teen years were spent on the train) and he did ultimately want her to be happy but went about it in the wrong way, so for these months Grace’s mum was like a mediator trying to figure out what Grace actually wanted and needed and protect her from being pushed back into the limelight when she wasn’t ready. 

- Grace’s parents got Grace a therapist and together they started figuring out what Grace actually wanted. I think Grace tried to get back into dancing professionally and while she was incredibly good because all those years she never stopped practicing, not having a professional teacher for 10 years meant she’d have to train again for a long time before she could catch up with her peers and the competition. 

Also the experience of competing against other people and winning stuff and being put on a pedestal for it is part of what made her act in the harmful ways she did during Book 3. So I personally am opposed to Grace returning to the life style that hurt her. This is something Grace realises through her therapy and she deals with a lot of feelings around being unable to dance professionally when that’s what her life was leading to, but she decides to explore other options like going to school and working and goes on a self discovery journey for a few years. 

- She co stars with her mum in some shows and movies after she got her an acting gig, or she sings with her, and she tries out other stuff too like working in a book shop ( 😏😏😏😏) and like idk... being the person who wears the chuck ee cheese fursuit at a chuck ee cheese restaurant just to see what it’s like and has a lot of fun. Eventually she decides that working with kids is what she wants to do, partly because she was really good at helping her kid friends get their numbers down and found it rewarding to help them, and she feels guilt that she couldn’t help Hazel in the same way, so if she can she wants to stop any other kids from feeling the same way and make a difference in people’s lives. Also as someone with a note great childhood she empathises a lot with kids that are suffering, so she applies for a course and starts doing placements.

I imagine her dad was a bit disappointed in this decision but did his best to hide it for Grace’s sake. 

Other stuff that makes me :] :

- When Grace tried dancing out again after years she met Shayna again and was nervous about it because they didn’t exactly get on well as kids but Shayna apologised to her for being mean n they become friends...

Shayna also ended up on the train because I said so, she was on there because she had insecurities that made her lash out at other people to feel better and she got train snatched after facing consequences for this from people she was mean to. She was on there for a few months - around the same time period Jesse was on the train for. And she got on just as the Apex was being formed, so she and her denizen companion would come across cars that had been raided by the Apex every now and then and wonder what was going on. They also ran into Amelia once or twice and were like ????? but thought nothing serious of it. 

So Shayna becomes the main person Grace confides in about her train experience and they end up becoming really good friends. Like... Grace missed huge amounts of music and films and other stuff while she was gone and is really alienated from pop culture and general conversation because she has no idea what people are talking about most of the time so Shayna and her have sleepovers and marathon all the important movies Grace missed and like... listen to music Shayna thinks she might like together. 

Sometimes Shayna pranks her by making her think that something no one cares about is a really big deal like... she tells her sausage party is considered a cult classic or something. Or she lies to her about memes so Grace embarrasses herself. But it’s not malicious or like, stuff that would really embarrass her or seriously hurt her feelings. they just mess around together is what I’m getting at. 

- Also Grace figures out her triggers with her therapist so stuff like the name simon and the word apex need to be avoided, and Shayna respects that and keeps it in mind when she finds stuff for them to watch together. Like they avoid the reptile section when they go to zoos and stuff too. 

- Grace keeps in touch with most of the kids that used to be in the apex, and they meet up every now and again and have a big get together barbecue on the anniversary of Grace getting off the train. And if any of them came from families with financial troubles Grace and her family try to support them. Basically the kids stay a part of Grace’s life and her support circle even after the train. 

- I do like to think that Grace and Lake would meet again and that Grace would have a chance to make amends. I don’t think Lake or Jesse would want Grace in their lives bc of what she did to them, but they accept her apology and wish her the best of luck in rebuilding her life. 

[griffinkid]

I'm pretty sure the person who made the term impure regression meant no harm with it, and it probably stemmed from the ptsd all-time hit of feeling impure due to triggers/trauma, whatever. Compared to the more carefree / happy regression that they considered to be more like that "Purity" of childhood or sth.... All that aside, (sry if you knew that already) I agree that it's definetly not the best label/term... even the words pure/impure make some ppl uncomfortable by default, & I know they made me for a while since they'd cause ruminating... I will never tell others what words they can/can't use when talking about their own experiences & stuff, but I do wish it wouldn't be the popular term. Since it does kind of imply this hierarchy of regression in general ... or just some level of it being undesirable. And sure, no one enjoys feeling uncomfortable, sad, hurt etc. But I made some of the best progress with my mental illness during "impure" regression. Which I'm not sure non regressed me woudlve been able to accomplish. There can be positives to it and I feel like the term just makes it seem like an awful experience yk

On a different tangent, I personally like to call one therapeutic/traumatic (depending on how much I process, and how much is just letting emotions out lol) & the other recreational regression. This might not work for everyone, but it does for me? Since the "impure" part of regression to me at least is nearly always caused by trauma being triggered on some level, or thinking about it, processing it, .... not just big trauma, but "smaller" ones as well. Being regressed means I'm able to allow emotions about it out, and not just bottle it up and push all thoughts about it away. It's really relieving tbh. Recreational in its meaning of doing something for fun is pretty self explanatory I guess..

Just my 2 cents on this idk

Answer under the cut because long-

I agree when you say that the term likely wasn't meant to sound as bad as it does, and I don't want to shame anybody for whatever terminology they choose to use, so I hope it doesn't come across like that in my original post! Everyone should use whatever term suits them. The views expressed in my original post were just my opinion.

Calling it a word with negative connotations like 'impure' definitely implies it's undesirable, as you say. I understand that it might not be desirable to have negativity out in the open- I don't post about the crying breakdowns that I have during regression because this is meant to be a nice fun blog for others to look at, that stuff is a) private and b) not entertaining for an audience. So I understand only wanting to post positive stuff, but we're at the risk of forgetting that agere is still a mental health thing. Basically, calling it ‘impure’ kinda sucks when ‘impure regression’ is what age regression was intended to be in the first place, really.

I love your distinction of therapeutic and recreational. Regression is definitely unique to the person in every case, and it's not 'one term fits all' because it's always going to be different. As you say, I just wish 'impure' wasn't the common term for trauma related.

A footnote because I didn't mention this in my first post: I have nothing against people who have no trauma and just use regression as a cutesy aesthetic fun thing. I've just said it's unique to everyone, so in case anyone is reading this like "oh no that's what I do", I don't mind that. The issue is taking the term 'age regression' to mean a fun cute roleplay thing, so the risk of taking the term away from traumatised people who use it as a mental health thing, and then labelling them 'impure' which has negative connotations. Really that's the upshot of this and my other post. It sometimes feels as though that's what's happening with a term like 'impure regression', but also, 99% of people I've seen on here are very caring and supportive of the mental health side of agere. Keep doing what you’re doing! 💖

[personasintro]

Hey Mimi sweets! I hope you enjoy your vacation, have a lot of fun and take care of your mental health! Stay hydrated and eat well my love. :)

I just wanted to let you know that I read all of your stories. Every. Single. One. I’m obsessed with your writing. You’re so talented with words! I love the characters. The way you write them so detailed brings them to life and I just know you’re an amazing human being because of how you give them such wonderful traits. The negative traits as well, they’re part of us. I feel like you know a lot about deep emotions and psychology (maybe because of your personal experiences) and you give us the chance to slip in everyone’s heads and understand, even the ones who might seem like the „villains“ in the stories.

The best example for that is MH’s Kiko. A lot of people straight up hate her because of what she did to JK but tbh I like how you describe her as a sweet and lovely person. I don’t dare to talk about this on the discord server. I don’t wanna get slaughtered because of my opinion haha, that’s why I’m anon. But I have to admit that I understand her at some point as much as I understand JK. Pressure, stress or panic can make us do stupid things that are not properly thought through. Yes, she handled the situation wrong, I’m not denying that. But she’s only human like all of us and we make a lot of mistakes in life and sometimes they affect our relationships and future and can’t be reversed. But that doesn’t make her a bad person or the devil itself. She just has to live with the consequences now. It’s not always about picking sites. I just love losing brain cells by thinking about all of this :). About why people might act like they do. I don’t like shallowness.

Thank you so much for sharing your hard work with us and please, always take breaks when you feel like you need them. Your well-being is priority #1. Don’t ever feel bad or pressured by anons asking when the next chapter drops. Some people don’t understand that you can’t force creativity on a bad day and life can be busy too sometimes. You’re amazing, never forget that.

Much love. 💜

I looooove this, I couldn't have said it better!! You and me are on the same wave length <3

I'm sorry that you feel you can't share your opinions on discord because you feel you'd get slaughtered! I think there are many ppl who would respect your opinion or even agree with you! :) it makes me realize that there are probably more readers who think this but they're just not saying it :( y'all should be able to say your thoughts and opinions, please don't be scared and if somebody has a problem with your opinion, I'm here to protect y'all <3

Sending you lots of love bub!! xx