#about... fitted sheets?
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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 1 year ago
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Asmi my dear, have you ever folded a fitted bedsheet?
I... I have tried to. We do not talk about about my level of success or lack thereof.
What--why is this a question? Is this your suggestion for Patreon content that I make? Just me losing my mind over trying to fold a fitted bedsheet? Because if so, while I don't doubt this sadistic fandom will find it amusing, the Patreon thing sounds like even more of a terrible idea.
Realistic image of what would happen:
HELLO MAGGOTS I'M GOING TO FOLD THIS FITTED SHEET FOR MONEY HOW IS THIS MY LIFE NOW. Okay really carefully like one bit after another. IKEA I believe in you surely you made this sheet foldable. I'm gonna just... uh... tuck in the corner. Okay that didn't work. FUCKING HELL STAY IN PLACE I JUST WANT TO TURN YOU OVER IN HALF. SWEDEN YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR SINS JUST LET ME FOLD THE GODDAMN THING IN HALF. FITTED SHEET MORE LIKE SHITTED FEET AMIRITE AHAHAHAHAHAH FUCKING FOLD GODDAMMIT STAY CORNERED SO I CAN PRETEND YOU'RE AN ORDINARY SHEET. I feel like there was a tutorial on Pinterest and this had a technique but we all know I forgot it as soon as I saw it. Besides now it's outright war between me and you, you shitted feet, and I will not be conquered by an IKEA sheet. WE'RE NOT INVADING DENMARK ANYMORE WE'RE INVADING SWEDEN IKEA YOU COULD HAVE MADE THIS A LITTLE EASIER. I KNOW ALL FITTED SHEETS ARE LIKE THIS BUT I'M CHOOSING TO BLAME SWEDEN BECAUSE THIS ONE IS FROM IKEA. AAAAAAAAAAAAUGH IF TIME IS MONEY IT WOULD ACTUALLY COST ME LESS TO GO BUY A MATTRESS AND JUST STORE THE FITTED SHEET AROUND A MATTRESS. MAYBE I CAN JUST CRUMPLE IT UP AND TOSS IT SOMEWHERE. Wait no you guys paid for me to fold it. SEE THIS IS THE ISSUE WITH CAPITALISM I AM A SLAVE TO THE DAILY GRIND--
I hate how vividly I pictured that. And yeah. My internal monologues do actually sound like that.
@howmanyholesinswisscheese maybe if you'd been less vanilla mum wouldn't have left you and then I'd know how to fold a fitted sheet. @arkytiorlecter you failed me too. @obsessed-sketches Dear Dr Leo, my family did not teach me to fold fitted sheets. What do I do?
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raylangivins · 9 months ago
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dewwshi · 4 months ago
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princess of mithral hall
#waiter!! waiter!! more catti-brie dwarvish culture content please#she's SOOO fun to draw i can't stop#i like thinking about dwarf clothing...... metalwork THE HOUSE although this design is pretty simplistic#if i actually sat down and tried to do a full traditional outfit design i would have gone more all out than i did here. MORE METAL!! MORE!!#TAYLOR WANT SHEET METAL#can you imagine all the clan battlehammer weavers tearing their hair out trying to figure out how to fit dwarf trad clothing on a human#i neeeeeeed to stop using green as a prominent colour in all my drawings cuz i always end up hating the colour balance LMFAOAO#i'm halfway through sea of swords now and the way catti is written in it is so... weird.......#like she's normal and fun and acting like herself in all of the scenes where it's just her and drizzt#but then if they have to talk to any npc at all suddenly it's like a fuckin batman and robin situation#and drizzt is doing all the talking and catti is just his sidekick that occasionally interjects#it reeeally feels like it should be the other way around and both of their characters suffer#cuz drizzt is supposed to be quiet and kinda shy and cat is supposed to be talkative and extroverted. I HAD THOUGHT AT LEAST#it's such a weird thing cuz this problem was a lot less prominent in previous books#we forgive cuz it's been a couple books since these two were in the spotlight so maybe that's the issue but bob.......#let catti lead a conversation please#well. it's been 1 book timeline wise since they were in the spotlight#but as far as i understand servant of the shard was also chronologically written in between spine of the world and sea of swords#too many fuckin books with s words in the titles#the tags of my art posts are just a place for me to post reading updates i guess#I LOVED SPINE OF THE WORLD BTW REALLY FUN BOOK EXTREMELY FUNNY#we interrupt legend of drizzt to bring you high fantasy hbo euphoria#OK OK ENOUGH RAMBLING#legend of drizzt#lod#catti-brie battlehammer#catti-brie#dnd#forgotten realms
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shrews-art · 10 days ago
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What is a roleplaying game if you don't make shameless self insert characters for yourself and your partner (vtm edition)
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willwriteforonepenny · 4 months ago
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Soap the toned-down version 💪
A thought was thinked. Thunk? Idk 
@cokoweee cut out what i didn't think the peeps here would vibe with. but ur other anons make me think I prolly would have been fine lol
oh yeah, a shameless self plug is in here too coz I thought it was silly
~
The pot on the stove simmered, onion and garlic sautéing, filling the kitchen with a pleasant aroma. She stirred it absently, looking over her shoulder to the lab where Othello had locked himself all day. She needed a way to get him out. He’d disappeared sometime yesterday and had only emerged to eat dinner and sleep for a few hours at night. 
She’d allowed it at first. He was working on something again. She hadn’t seen him put so much effort into something since a few months ago when she’d needed her wristband updated. 
But this was new.
She’d never seen him quite so devoted to a project in the year he’d been living with him. 
It didn’t matter though. She was going to drag him out no matter what it took. 
Pouring broth and rice into the pot, she turned the burner down to medium to let it simmer. Grabbing butter and herbs she placed them neatly on the counter before marching to the lab. 
~
The door opened with a shudder, purple light flickering from the center of the room. It stopped as soon as the light from the hallway filtered in. Othello shoved something under a blueprint, grabbed a small screwdriver, and began fiddling with a small object.
Idiot. 
“Watcha workin' on?” She asked, hand placed on his shoulder as she began to massage out the knots in his muscles. 
He stiffened slightly, “Nothing! Nothing at all to help you.” He hunched over the table, tail flicking nervously as he covered the blueprints for whatever he was working on. 
“Mmmmmmm” She pressed her hand harder against his shoulder. “Then you won’t mind coming to eat dinner with me?”
“Ken I-” 
She set her chin on his shoulder, turning her head so her mouth was flush with the side of his head. “I’m sure whatever you’re working on can wait.” She murmured, pressing her lips to his neck.
His pulse quickened against her lips as he placed a hand against her head. “I’m sure you’re right.” 
“Thank you.” She smiled, grabbing his tail and yanking him off the chair.
He screeched, throat bobbing as he clicked his jaw, limbs sprawling on the floor as he fell. 
Leaning down to his level, she gripped his hair and lifted his head. “You’re washing your hair after this.”
“Yeah, yeah whatever.” He laughed, waving her away. “But-” 
“I wash your hair, got it.” She said letting go of his hair as she stood up. 
“WHAT THE HE-” His words fell short, muffled by the ground as he slammed into the floor again. “I hate you.” He grumbled. 
“I know.” She trilled, grabbing his tail and dragging him across the floor to the kitchen. 
He clawed desperately at the floor, trying to gain some footing before giving up and going entirely limp. She slowly hauled him across the tile, angry hisses broken by clicks filling the air.
“What are you doing?”
“Mm’s Friday.” He mumbled against the floor. 
She kicked his side, earning a low hiss as he pushed himself off the ground with a huff. 
“Can we swim after this?” He asked, hauling himself onto the counter as he looked at the stove. “Because I yearn for the water Ken. YEARN.” 
“We?” She, feigned shock as she placed the pan back onto the stove and waved him over. “C’mon, you’re helping.” 
“I have no idea how to cook that.” He said, throwing his hands up. 
She rolled her eyes. “And yesterday you forgot where the dishwasher was..” 
“One time! I forget to load the dishwasher ONE time!” He jumped off the counter throwing his hands into the air as he walked over to her. “One time!”
“Mhm. Cut,” She said placing a cutting board, a fillet knife, and a large tilapia in front of him.
“Right then.” He said, chopping off the fins and tail of this fish. “Now what?”
She guided the knife along the long side of the fish. “Now you get the guts out.” She said, reaching in and removing pink masses of flesh. “You can throw those away, can’t make anything with the-” 
He gave a quick thumbs-up as he snatched them off the table swallowing them whole. 
“Gross.” 
“Pretty good actually.” 
“Alright.” She sighed, chopping the head off. 
Turning the fish, she slid the knife down its body, opening it to reveal the meat inside. Carefully gliding the knife across the rib bones, she separated the bones and set them on the table before grabbing a pair of tweezers and extracting the pin bones. 
Othello sat quietly, occasionally twitching from his perch on the counter. “Can I have those?”
“Gotta cook it first.” She mumbled, not looking in his direction. 
“You don’t have to cook bones?” He argued back, plucking them from the plate and stuffing them in his mouth. 
She turned wide-eyed as he crunched. “Genuinely why would you do that.” 
“Good source of calcium.” He shrugged, face twisted in confusion as if he had done something completely normal  
“YOU COULD JUST DRINK MILK?” 
“Milk is gross.” 
“YOU JUST ATE BONES.” 
“And they were very tasty.” He smiled, a small squeaking noise just behind the words. 
She turned, her face brightening. “What was that?” 
He rolled his eyes. “You’ve heard it before.” He paused, a smile creeping over his face. “You should start drinking more milk though. Might help with your height.” 
Whipping around she marched over to him, grabbing his hair and pulling him down to her level. “Von Ryan, one more word out of you about that and I will find a way to drown your stupid turtle head.” Taking a breath she returned to the stove. “ And the weird noise you made? Not usually low enough for me to hear.” Sprinkling the tilapia with salt and pepper she carefully added the fish into the simmering oil. “Can you get started on the butter? Everything you need is in the bowls on the counter. Just mix it and it should be good.”
He nodded, adding the chopped herbs and spices to a small bowl and mashing them together until they became a smooth paste. “Now what?” 
“See that pot on the stove?” She said, pointing to a purple-lidded pan. “ Put that in the oven. Twenty minutes and take it out to stir it before it goes in for another twenty. When it’s done, put some butter and cheese in there.” 
“Yes ma’am.” 
She flipped the fish over, the skin flaking against the spatula. “Anything else you want?  I think this is good for me but you usually eat more.” 
Humming quietly he rummaged through the fridge. “Think I’m good,” he mumbled over his shoulder.
“Mkay, go ahead and set the table then wouldja?”
~
She watched his fork screech along the plate as he struggled to pick up the tilapia. He chased the bite for a few seconds before setting his fork down seizing the fish in his hand and swallowing it whole. 
“You act like you were raised in a sewer.” 
He looked up, wiping a smudge of sauce from his mouth, frowning. “Well I hate to break it to ya but….”
She rolled her eyes, finishing the last few bites of the meal. A flicker of movement caught her eye. “Othello.” She snapped. 
He turned wide-eyed, nail still dug into his arm. 
“Stop scratching at that shed or I’ll get the mittens of shame.” 
“Nooooooooooo. Anything but those!” He screeched, pushing against the table. 
She paused, thinking for a moment before smiling. “Tell me what you’re doing in the lab for so long today and I’ll keep the mittens in the drawer.” 
“I haven’t been working that long.” He protested, tail twittering against the chair. 
“You were gone when I got up and this is the first time I’ve seen you all day.” She said pointedly, a fork aimed at his face. “You’ve been doing this all week.” 
He shrugged “…The roots of invention are bitter, but the fruit is sweet.”
“It’s 7:00! The door’s been locked. I couldn’t get in. Sheldon kept getting in my way.” She pressed, leaning forward. “Don’t bend Aristotle’s quotes to hide.” She added as an afterthought. 
“Aristotle would have wanted me to finish,” he said snottily, snout pointed to the roof as he stood.
“Well, Kendra wanted to see her husband at some point during the day today.” She snapped back, ring slamming against the table as she shot up. 
His eyes widened and he slowly moved his gaze to her. “Well, maybe Kendra’s husband was trying to do something nice for his wife.”
“Kendra had no way of knowing that!” She scowled. “She didn't know anything about why her husband wouldn’t answer her texts.” She paused, taking a breath as she shrunk into herself. “Kendra’s husband should give her at least a little bit of information before he disappears for a week without a word.” She whispered.
He softened and moved closer before whispering back. “But then Kendra’s surprise would be ruined.”
“Whatever.” She groaned. “Just tell me next time ahead of time before you close yourself up in that stupid lab.”  She leaned into his side. “It was just me and Mr. Nubbins all week. He doesn’t exactly talk back. If you would just tell me before you go off and leave me so I can come up with somewhere to go… Or at least people to see.” She gestured vaguely to the empty subway station. “That’d be great because I’d rather go back to the farmhouse for a week with Sagi than stare at these ugly concrete walls.” 
“How was I supposed to know- “ He paused, wrapping his arms around her and lifting her barely above the ground as he hugged her. “Sorry I didn’t-I wasn’t - why didn’t you say something?”
She shrugged against his arms. “You were always gone when I woke up and by the time you did come to bed, you always fell asleep before I could say a word. You’d just assume I was already asleep and lay a hand on my shoulder before you passed out.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You should be.” 
“I won’t do it again.” He promised, holding her closer. 
She pressed her face harder against his side as his tail curled around her calf. “Why do you do that though?” She asked, words muffled by his plastron. 
“Hmm?”
“The hand thing. It’s every night you have to have your hand on my shoulder or my arm or chest or stomach, my anything.” She looked up, eyes meeting his. “Why?”
He froze, tilting his head slightly. “To make sure it’s real.” He took a deep breath. “Sometimes it feels too good to be true, ya know? After everything that happened. It’s easier to fall asleep at night when I can feel the heat radiating from your body, the pulse beneath your skin, the steady beat of your heart.”
She cocked her head. “If that’s so important to you, why haven’t you spent any time with me this week?”
He grinned. “Because sometimes, making something for someone you love is almost like being there with them. Anticipating their reaction is worth a few days of work.”
“Not for me.” She huffed “I didn’t get any of that. I got left alone.”
“Ken, I’d never leave you alone.” He murmured, pressing his snout to the top of her head “As a matter of fact, you’re coming with me.” He said, a smile creeping into his voice. 
“Huh?”
He hooked an arm around her middle, effortlessly hoisting her up, and began walking to the old convenience store he’d turned into a large pool.
She shifted her weight so it wasn’t around her stomach full of food and let her arms dangle. “I don’t have a bathing suit on.”
“I know.” He laughed, cheekily smiling down at her, tail whipping back and forth. 
“No! No, No NO!  Nope! I just washed these!” She screeched, kicking against him in a futile effort to free herself. 
Her weight shifted ever so slightly as he used his free arm door to the pool opened with a shudder and she flailed, kicking as he brought her closer to the water.
“OTHELLO VON RYAN IF YOU DROP ME IN THERE I WILL MURDER YOU!”
He stopped, looking down to her, a stupid smile on his face.
“What?” She snapped. “Plotting how you’re gonna do it?”
“Nope.” He grinned wider. “I was just thinking that if you killed me that’d be another felon for you.” 
Her eyes widened as her mouth fell open, -“Wait!”
His tail wagged as he set her on the edge of the pool. “A few more of those and you can run for president!” He said snarkily, contorting his face into a smirk and bobbing his head. He raised a finger and straightened up. “They’re eating the dogs. They’re eating the cats.” He pointed his finger to her, “You! Have you ever eaten a pet?”
“I think you need to look at a map.” She mumbled taking off her socks and dipping her feet into the water.
“It was funny!” He protested. 
She shrugged. “It’s funny to make fun of the orange man, not nearly as funny to not know where your wife is from.”
“…I was raised in a sewer.” 
“You were raised in America.” She corrected. 
“I thought you were born here?” 
She nodded. “Born here in New York, but my parents raised me there for as long as they could afford to, back in Indonesia.” 
His face twisted in thought as he slipped into the pool. He looked to her face and she nodded. His eyes lit up as he dove under the water, the walls echoing the squeaks and trills as he swam. 
Smiling softly, she let herself relax, shoulders loosening as she kicked at the water. A streak of green raced beneath the surface, almost faster than she could comprehend. It wasn’t often she came in here with him. She could swim, but it wasn’t exactly a passion of hers.
He swam laps around the bottom of the pool, seemingly exhaustless, before slowly floating to the surface, only his snout visible. She watched for a moment longer to ensure he wouldn’t go back to his crazed swimming. He floated lazily, occasional pockets of air bubbling from his nose, not a hint of movement elsewhere. 
Pulling her shirt over her head, she slid into the pool, the water flowing around her body. The green flash immediately appeared next to her, his eyes just barely above the water. He raised his eyebrows.
She shrugged and held out her arm. His lips quirked up and he grabbed her waist. 
“I thought you just washed those?”
“I took my shirt off.”
He didn’t respond, simply dragging her to the middle of the pool. 
“Aye! I can swim.”
He stopped, turning to her. “If my memory serves me correctly- and it does- tell me that you said that at the lake.” Staring pointedly, he smiled. “And then you nearly drowned.”
She spluttered, words stuck on her tongue.”Uh”
“That’s what I thought.” Letting her waist go he waited for a moment to make sure she stayed afloat before flipping to his back, patting his plastron. She climbed atop, flattening herself against his chest as he floated. 
Latching her arm around his neck, she relaxed completely, letting her body fall limp against his plastron. 
Her foot hung off his side, water lapping against her ankle. “Othello?” She whispered after a moment. 
He hummed, the vibration rumbling against her torso. 
She traced the side of his face, fingers stopping where his ears would be. “You would look nice with earrings.” She murmured.
“Thanks but I don’t-“
She groaned, taking her hand from his face and letting it fall into the water. “Ugh, your earlobes are uncircumcised.”
“I don't have earlobes, Ken.” 
“I’ll find the tape tomorrow.” She said after a beat of silence. 
He laughed, jostling her slightly. “I’ll do whatever you say. You think I’ll look pretty? I’ll try ‘em on for your sake.”
She smiled against his plastron. “I know.”
Time ticked by slowly. There was nothing but the beat of their synchronized heartbeats, gentle waves, and their intertwined bodies. 
“I had a dream last night that I was on a walk and four dudes tried to steal my bag.” He said suddenly. “But I didn’t have any bags so they just took my bō.”
“Thanks for telling me, bud.”
“Anytime” he shrugged.
She paused, frowning slightly.
“I have other dreams too. The other day I dreamt that I was in a pool of jello.” He shuddered. “It was so sticky Ken. So sticky.” 
She shook her head. “It just occurred to me that you might have never had one of the dreams I’ve been having pretty often.” She said, words muffled against his shoulder.
“Which is?”
She paused, finger sweeping arcs over his neck. “Kids.”
“…Oh.” He turned, taking her in his arms as he swam to the edge of the pool deck. He set her down gently, placing his head on her thighs, arms wrapped around her bare waist.
“Not like us, having kids. Like I assume that’s how it happens I guess but- ugh I don’t even think that’s possible.” Curling her torso around his head, she let her body weight fall against him. “But I have dreams where I give birth to a little girl. Ya know? She looks just like me. And I raise her and I love her.” She put her hand around his neck, gently tracing the soft skin of his throat. 
“You’re there too. It’s nice. And it’s not always the same girl. My dreams sort of, rotate I guess? There’s one that looks like me, one that looks like you, and one that’s a mix. Just depends on the night.” She sighed. “But then I wake up and suddenly my picturesque life is gone, and I don’t have a child to hold.” 
She tensed, tightening her grip on his neck. “And it’s so stupid because despite it all I’ve still got you. But my arms have never felt so empty without someone small to hold. And the child I raised for years?” She took a deep breath, her emotions threatening to boil over. “She’s gone, Dee. I don’t even remember her name. But you know what’s even worse? Sometimes I wake from those and you’re not there. You’re off tinkering in the lab and I’m alone.” 
She pulled away, gently lifting his chin before cupping his cheeks. “The bed has never felt colder than when I wake up from those dreams. It makes it feel as if all of this-“ She gestured to the walls of the pool. “Isn’t real. Because I wake up and I’m slammed into a reality where she was nothing more than a figment of my imagination.”
He didn’t say a word, merely looked into her eyes, hugging her closer. “How often do you have those dreams?”
She shrugged, looking towards the middle distance. “It depends.”
“Elaborate.”
“Well, you’ve been pretty much MIA all this week, so I’ve been a little lonely which always makes the dreams more intense.”
“I’m sorry.” He murmured against her chest. “Anything else?”
She shrugged. “Hormones are all outta wack which always makes my dreams more vivid.”
“Oh, ya know what that makes a lot of sense!”
“What’s that supposed to mean!”
“You always get kinda mopey and anxious when you ovulate.” He grinned, his eyebrows waggling. “But sometimes it’s a little more ~fun~” 
“Ugh”
He threw his hands up. “Hey, all I’m saying is that I never initiate anything like that. I leave it up to you.” He shrugged. “That particular time is when you usually go for stuff like tha-"
“Are you tracking my menstrual cycle?” She burst out. “Because if you are, that's actually insane.”
“Not on purpose but we share a bathroom, and.” He paused, “I have a decent understanding of the cycles… so.”
“I’m actually a little scared not gonna lie.”
“April gave me a very in-depth lesson when I was younger after I  found her curled in the fetal position on my bed one day.” He frowned. “Now that I think about it she might have been exaggerating to make us do things for her.”
“Oh, she definitely wasn’t exaggerating. Periods are a living hell. You bleed outta ya coochie for like a week while your uterus decides to punch your insides.”
He pulled away, face twisted. “ I’m gonna go get more stuff.”
“Oh! That’s why you have little heating pads and Midol here!”
His eyes widened. “Did you take those pills? They haven’t been used for like years; they’re most definitely expired.”
“I checked. I threw the pack out but I was kinda wondering.” 
“Yeah, it was because of April. We left stuff for her in the bathroom and we always had a stash of chocolate and ice cream for her.”
She looked to him, “You should, like, I dunno, start doing that again.”
“I’ve already asked Drax to pick some stuff up.”
 She laughed, throwing her hands into the air “Thank you thank you thank you!”
He smiled, resting his face back on her thighs. “ I’m the best. I know. But about that dream.”
She sighed. “Not much to say. Just feels a little weird I guess.” 
“Anything I can do to help?”
“Come to bed?”
He wrapped his other arm around her. “ ‘Course Ken.” 
She ran her fingers through his hair. “I forgot you knotted your hair into an absolute mess!”
He grinned sheepishly as he shrugged. “Shower?”
“Lord knows you need it.” 
He hummed in acknowledgment. “Can we stay like this a bit longer?”
“Yeah.”
She worked her hands around his head, gently untangling the knots he had created as she hummed. She stopped, fingers working through a tangle. 
“Hmmm?” He looked up, eyes locked on hers. 
She laughed, a malicious grin on her face.“So you can boat!”
“THAT'S NOT HOW I WORK!” 
“Explain to me the definition of a boat then.” 
He scowled. “ A small vessel propelled on water by oars, sails, or an engine.” 
“Ah hah!” She lifted one of his arms up. “ You were using your arms to propel! BOOM! A BOAT!”
He pushed her away. “ My arm is not a pole.” 
“Whatever you say, boatman.” 
She screeched as his arm flew out, hooking around her middle and throwing her into the water. Spluttering, she floated to the surface. “Guess I touched a nerve there huh?” 
“I am not a boat, and I am not a pool toy. I am an object not to be reckoned with!”
“Whatever you say bud.” 
He sighed and lifted her out of the pool. “Let's go.” 
“Give me two seconds to grab my stuff and we’ll be right as rain.” 
He hummed in response, hoisting her over his shoulder.
“-Hrk-“ She slapped his shell. “Put me down!”
He didn’t ask another question, simply lowering her dot the ground. “You good?”
She scowled, “We had dinner like thirty minutes ago! No, I am not ‘good’ to be thrown over your shoulder like a bag of flour!”
“Sorry.”
~
The water fell from the shower head, steaming the room. She poured lavender bubble bath into the water, stirring it with her hand. Satisfied with the temperature, she turned off the faucet and went to find Othello. 
He was lying on the floor of their bedroom again, a heating lamp balanced precariously on his dresser. His fingers twitched briefly before he chirped quietly. 
Smiling, she used her foot to kick at his side. 
He startled, hands splaying to the side, his bottom jaw hitting the bottom as he clicked angrily. “How dare you attack me in my hour of sorrow!” 
“That was not an attack.” She kicked his side, “Get up or I’ll drag you there. You can pout about whatever you’re sad about later.” 
Groaning he got to his feet and grabbed the lamp as he shuffled to the bathroom. “I’m taking this.” 
“What happened to your yearning for the water?” She laughed, following him to the next room. 
He grumbled, almost too low for her to hear, and whipped his head around. “Well, I can’t swim in a BATHTUB!” 
She pointed to the tub. “In.” 
He shot her one last look before slinking into the tub. 
Placing the lamp above the tub she patted his head. “Good?” 
“Yea-” He paused, suddenly noticing the bubbles. He frowned, looking up at her. “Why?” 
Rolling her eyes she handed him a bar of soap. “Wash.” 
He ran the bar over his arms twice before handing it back to her. 
“That’s all you’re going to do?” 
Nodding he sunk a bit deeper into the water. “I washed.”
“Absolutely not.” She flicked his head. “You really were born in a sewer you disgusting worm.” 
“We have been over that fact, yes.” He said somberly. 
She threw a bottle of body wash at him. “Lather it between your palms and then lather it into your skin. Deeper clean, lasting scent”  
Nodding slowly he rubbed the soap between his hands until it foamed before working it into his skin. 
She gave a quick thumbs up, grabbing her brush and conditioner from the tub side. Rubbing the conditioner into the worst knots, she yanked her brush through his hair.
“OW!” 
She whacked the top of his head again. “Don’t be dramatic it wasn’t that big of a knot.” 
“You nearly broke my neck!” 
“I could break other things.” 
He turned around, a faint blush creeping up his neck. “Be gentle, it’s my first time.” 
Grabbing his hair she tilted his head back, making eye contact with him. “I’ll do what I want.” 
“I know.” 
She let his hair go and worked her way through the tangles. 
They sat in comfortable silence, the occasional churr breaking the quiet .“Hold on, I gotta get the shower head to get this out of your hair.” 
He didn’t say anything, just watched as she climbed on the tub wall to grab the nozzle. 
She turned the water on, letting it flow over his head when he suddenly moved. 
“Do you want to hear about something?” He didn’t wait for her to respond. “Yeah, you do. Ok, so there's this family, right? And they are like celebrities in their little world.” He waved his arms, tilting his head. “And they all have powers. And there's this whole prophecy telling them that they’re going to save the world. But when they go to save the world, all of them-” 
She cut off his sentence by spraying the shower head into his face.  
“I- Are you trying to waterboard me?” He managed after a moment.
“I need you to stop talking about that for a sec. You’re moving your head and I can’t properly wash it.” 
“Oh.”
“You can keep talking just maybe about something you’re a tad less passionate about.”
“So basically the whole thing is a retelling of Greek stories. Like all of the characters are derived from Greek myths. And while most of them don’t interact in mythology, they do here. And then, the main character's best friend is named after a Greek constellation! But of course the-” He paused, tensing. 
She took her hands off of his head. “I thought you wanted to talk?”
“Well, I can’t exactly form sentences when my head is being used as a gearshift.” 
Patting his shoulder she planted a small kiss to his head. “Good thing we’re done.” 
She climbed back onto the tub wall, hanging the shower head back on the hook. Turning, she hesitated slightly. 
Othello took it as an invitation, grabbing her bare waist and dragging her into the water. 
She gasped. “Wha-”
He hugged her, wrapping his arms around her body and pulling her close. “Hi.” He whispered against her ear. 
“Hi.” She whispered back, leaning into him. 
His hands crept up her beck slowly, savoring each inch of skin they touched. Her shirt pooled around her, his hands forcing the fabric away from her. He crossed his arms against her, left hand on her right shoulder and pulled her close. 
Water dripped nearby, echoing across the bathroom walls. The sound rippled outwards, meshing with the sound of their breathing. A perfect symphony. 
She melted against him, reveling in the closeness of their bodies. How sweet it was to be so close to a lover. 
He tiled her chin up, mouth parted slightly. 
A small nod. 
He lowered his hands to her hips, lifting her barely out of the water, kissing her gently. She leaned closer, her lips pressing into his. 
He faltered, breath hot against her face.  She wrapped her legs around his waist, head resting against his shoulder. 
Lowering his head, he planted feather-light kisses against her neck. She tilted her head, inviting him closer. He moved down her neck, pressing kisses against her skin. Stopping barely above her collarbone, he shifted her to rest higher against him. 
He kissed her like there was nowhere else he’d rather be, lips traveling along her skin. He lowered his head, resting against her chest. 
“I love you, you know that right?” He murmured, breath tickling her wet skin. 
She hooked an arm around his neck. “I know.” 
He stalled. “It’s just that I don’t think you quite understand. I don’t think there's enough words in the world for me to explain just how much you mean to me. I can never tell you enough. There’s always a part of me that wants to give you more.” 
Unhooking her legs, she turned around to face him. “You’ve given me more than I could ever ask for.” 
He shook his head, “It’s not enough.” 
She frowned inching slowly up his lap. “Maybe for you.” She kissed his mouth, hard, hands tangling in his hair as she pressed herself closer. “But you are what I want.” She pressed a kiss to his neck. “I’ll never ask for more.” 
Smiling he placed a hand on the small of her back, the other against her waist, finger rubbing circles against her shoulder. “I love you.” 
She leaned against his chest. “Come to bed?” 
He sighed. “I have to finish something, Ken. " He stuck out his tongue. "Also, you taste like soap right now.” 
She nodded slowly, “You know how it goes in the shower. I’m gonna get ready for bed then.” 
“Wait!” Grabbing her arm, he pulled her back. “I know this isn’t everything you do for a shower. I don't feel as soft as you do. We can finish this and then I’ll finish my project for realsises.” He stopped, leaning back so she could look at his face. “ I can wait until tomorrow though if you want.” 
“We can finish this, but only if you come to bed before one.” She smiled. “I’ll be waiting.” 
He grinned. “I can do that.” 
She watched as he climbed from the tub, water dripping from his hair. Following behind him, she froze as he grabbed her waist. 
He gave her a lopsided smile before pushing her back. 
She gasped as the cold tile slammed against her wet back. A cool breeze coiled around her legs, sliding her arms and spilling over the back of her neck. “Eh?”
His eyes locked onto hers, fingers tracing the outline of her body. He moved closer, breath tickling her shoulder. “I was being serious.” Lifting her hips, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I can wait until tomorrow if you need.” 
Shrugging, she broke away from the wall and pulled on a pair of dry pants. "Whatever works for you. Turn around real quick."
He shut his eyes, and she yanked her wet shirt and bra over her head, pulling one of his discarded hoodies over herself. "Let's go get you all soft and purdy."
He churred against her skin. “My favorite pillows.”
She swatted at his head. “Hold still, I’m trying to do stuff here.” 
He melted closer to her. Clutching at the pillow behind her back, he eased his hand beneath the pillow to press a hand to her back. 
Opening a bottle of unscented lotion, she mixed it in her hand with the lavender-scented oil until it became a homogeneous mixture. She spread it evenly between her hands before smoothing it over his shell. 
He twitched slightly at the touch, relaxing again as she massaged in into his skin. 
“It smells so good.” He whispered against her chest, a quiet churr hidden beneath the words.
“It smells like me.” 
He nodded. “That’s why it smells so good.” 
There was silence again. Just the warmth of their bodies pressed together as she worked the mixture over his dry shedding skin. 
“Did you know I was meant to be a weapon?” He mumbled quietly, looking up. 
“No?”
He shrugged against her. “Yeah, I was meant to destroy the human race or something to save Yoki or something like that.” 
“You are really bad at your job” She laughed. “I’m not even fighting back or anything and you’ve made no move against me.” 
“Thank you for that.” He grumbled. “Would you rather I fulfill that prophecy?” 
“You and your prophecies. You seriously have got to stop reading that book I think it’s messing with your brain.” 
He smiled. “It was written by a psych major, so it’s supposed to do that.” He looked up again.  “Ok, you gotta tell me a story from your childhood now. 
“Hmmmmm. When I was younger and my dad remarried Jason’s mom I didn’t like him coming into my room because he wasn’t really my brother at that point, he was just some kid. So to keep him out I created a monster named Allen and we were best friends, but he told me that he hated Allen and if Allen ever came in the room he would eat him.”
“Did it work?”
“Yeah. Or at least until our parents found out and then I got in trouble and they told me I couldn't do stuff with Allen to scare him anymore. But Jason was still scared so we had a really big going away party for Allen so Jason would no longer be tormented by what I had created.”
“I am frightened.” 
“Good.” She grabbed the toothbrush by the side of the couch and scrubbed at the loosened skin left over from their bath. 
He melted against her immediately, an odd noise emitting from his throat. 
“What’s that?” 
“I actually had no idea you could hear that.” He replied simply. 
“Ok, but what is it?” 
He shrugged. “Purring.” 
“You’re like a little cat! You and Mister Nubbins need to hang out more!” 
“ I am not going to ‘hang out’ with the nasty street cat you found.” 
She pouted, “But he’s so cuteeeeee.” 
“I prefer you to him.” 
Placing the toothbrush back behind the couch, she patted his shell. “I’m done, I’m gonna go find Mister Nubbins and give him the love you refuse to.” 
“Mmmno.” He tightened his grip on her back. “You’re warm. Stay.” 
“Let me sit up a bit?”
Nodding he pushed himself up and scooted over to let her get up. As soon as she settled in, he wrapped his arm around her thigh, resting his head against it. 
She grabbed her phone from the side table, taking out the camera, and snapping a quick picture. 
K- He told me he was a force to be reckoned with about an hour ago
C -He’s such an idiot sometimes I swear
C- Wanna see Cassy jr? 
K- IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION? 
She smiled at the video of Casey teetering around the farmhouse, Cali hunched over one of Casey’s stuffed animals. The video beneath her blurred and she rubbed at her eyes, the day’s events hitting her slowly
“Tello?”
“Mmmm?”
“I’m two seconds away from falling asleep right now.” 
He sat up, maneuvering her to lay across his legs. “I’ll be right here.”
“I don’t even know why.” She hooked an arm around his waist, curling her head against his plastron as she drifted off. “I didn’t do anything.” 
He ran his hand through her hair. “Sometimes it be like that.” 
~
“ 起きろケン” ( wake up Ken) 
“Eh?” 
He planted a kiss on her head. “Wake up, I finished.” 
She pulled herself off his chest, face twisted in confusion. 
Smiling he put her hand over her eyes. “It’s a surprise, you have to see it all cool.” He explained. 
“Ok?” 
Removing his hands, he revealed a small purple bot. 
“What is that?” 
“Turn around.” 
She complied, twisting so the back of her head was facing him. 
“What do you want?” 
“To go back to bed.” She grumbled. 
He laughed quietly. “Soon, but what kind of hairstyle do you want?”
“I dunno a bun?” 
The bot lit up, light purple before he placed it on the back of her head. Strands of her hair moved, pulling into a messy bun on the middle of her head. 
She turned around, eyes wide. “That’s why your hair was a mess!” 
He nodded sheepishly. “It took a lot of tries to get it right.” 
“Thank you.” She crashed into him, holding him in an embrace. 
“Course.” 
“Bed?” 
He scooped her up bridal style and carried her to their room. Laying her gently on the mattress he went to grab the heating lamp from the bathroom, attaching it above his side of the bed. 
She watched slowly, extending an arm out. 
He set a new blanket down, smoothing it over space before climbing into bed, and curling up next to her. 
“Are you getting sick or something? You’ve been attached by the hip  to that lamp all day. And the added blanket isn't helping your case.” She murmured, pressing herself closer, tracing the faint outline of his backpiece before planting a small kiss along each of the scars. 
He turned, facing her, hooking their ankles together, arm draped over her side. “Mmmmnno. It’s just getting colder so I’m sleepier than usual. And my stupid annual shed came earlier this year so I’m actually dying over here.” 
“Anything I can do to help?”
He shook his head. “It’s fine, just a bit itchy.” He gave her a quick squeeze. “Good night Ken. I’ll see you in the morning.” 
She smiled. “Will you remember where the dishwasher is tomorrow?” 
“One time Kendra.” He mumbled against her hair. “ One time I forget to load the dishwasher. How long are you going to hold that against me?”
“As long as we’re together.” She whispered. 
“Forever then.” He whispered back, breath tickling the top of her hair. 
She placed her head against his carapace, ear placed above his heart, listening to the constant rhythm. “Forever,”
~
if you get any of my references I LOVE YOU
i'm gonna go eat popcorn now I think
@crowleys-pockets ( you can read this one before I show you the other one tmmr. DON'T LOOK AT THE OTHER DOC TILL I'M AT UR HOUSE)
The day I get 100 notes on any of my fics is the day I start writing kendratello 🥵🤤😩 scenes by the way
JOKIN jokin jokin I’m jokin!
Maybe
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starlingfawn · 21 days ago
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redesign for artfight.....
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asvidema · 2 months ago
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got around to making a full body reference for henry as well, adding some ingame clothes and some newly designed armor too.
once again, i took inspiration from Auguste Racinet's The Costume History!
#kingdom come deliverance#kcd#kcd2#henry of skalitz#the black outfit before his classical red and green one is actually the ingame 'charisma' outfit my henry has#i should make a post talking about my henry and his traits and quirks but. lmao. maybe one day#anyway. in short my henry is fond of the color black. and it shows in how he dresses#his armor palettes tend to be black and rather anonymous. but in this case i wanted to portray armors that he'd wear as well#because he'd shamelessly. rather proudly actually. wear leipa's colors for his lord and newfound home#so i liked to play around with yellows and blacks#i really really really like what medieval armors and outfits did back in the day. the split colors and the stripes and the sleeves#with pointy ends. yeah. fashion. i love medieval knight fashion lmfao#to be fair that type of decor. is most likely for tournament armors. or events. but it fits anyway#because my henry would gladly participate in tournaments and win in the name of his lord. and he actually does that in kcd#and hans gifts him golden spurs made specifically for him. which by the way. you can see him sport in three of these outfits#they're different kinds. i like to think the ones hans gifted him are the ones he wears in his day to day outfit#but in battle he'd fetch himself similar ones. but he wouldn't want to ruin them if he knew he was going to roll in the mud a bit#so yeah there's that. just a few clothes i draw can make me talk minutes about my blorbos lmfao#my art#i'm also not sorry same as with hans' sheet. about the censor memeing#this site will fucking flag me anyway so might as well go down with a laugh
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starwaffle345 · 10 months ago
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chat did i cook (also more in depth (?) refs under the cut)
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r-aindr0p · 2 years ago
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To think I’m going to have to wait one year until I seize this guy by his uniform bell the second his banner is here…
Same song I took the lyrics from for a previous post. "Belle" from the french musical version of Notre dame de Paris
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biggestdumbestduck · 3 months ago
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In theory I know how to fold fitted sheets. In reality?
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bookishb0rgid · 13 days ago
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Recently I've been thinking about the potential of sleep paralysis in whump. Like imagine a former whumpee who'd been restrained often experiencing their own body refusing to move, holding them down, and there's simply nothing they can do, a feeling of dread and fear encapsulating them. I don't think I've seen this before and I also don't know enough about sleep paralysis to know if my idea for a story is accurate.
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willowwormwood · 9 months ago
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I already did the character sheet for Morrigan, this time tried it for my character Fetcher. Honestly he was easier to draw in the Rise of the TMNT art style than I thought he would be.
If you wanna read my cringe self indulgent ramblings about how I think he'd fit in the world, its below the cut (also I've only seen Season 1 and the movie so sorry if this is somehow already a plotline or very similar to another character idk)
Alright I picture Fetcher starting out as a get-away driver for some of the bad guys of the city, doesn't like his job but he needs the money, and he's good at it, (and that could cause issues and conflict later yippee). He's half yokai, half human, kinda living off on the side of both worlds, he's pretty familiar with navigating both worlds but isn't particularly close with anyone from either, feeling a bit of an outsider.
I think Fetcher would probably get involved with the team through Mikey. I figure it could also partially be a result of Mikey wanting more independence (like with the episode of his solo mission), seeking out a friend outside the group (kinda similar dynamic to Raph with paper soldier Buddy, and April with Sunita). I think they would be foils with that since in Fetcher's case he's probably had *too much* independence, being a kid who's not had a lot of guidance and it's gotten himself in a rough spot working as a get-away driver. But on both Mikey and Fetcher's part they'd both have that similar feeling of needing to prove themselves.
I figure for an actual short story plotline, Mikey probably talks up the turtle tank after seeing how much Fetcher is attached to his own car (which I imagine would be all decked out with stuff since he's a getaway-driver), Fetcher's immediately enamored and wants to see the tank, Mikey wants to impress so he goes to get it. Mikey doesn't want to involve his brothers, so at first he asks to borrow it which gets a resounding NO from the whole group, so shenanigans ensue when he decides to steal the tank from Donnie.
Mikey tries driving the tank himself, obviously it goes badly and it results in the brothers having to chase him down with the help of Fetcher to stop the tank from causing chaos in the city.
I think at the end when they do finally get the tank under control and get Mikey out, there could be a nice moment with Mikey admitting the tank isn't his, (and he doesn't know how to drive it on his own), and he did it cause he wanted to impress Fetcher since he has a cool car and wanted to seem like he had one too, and Fetcher seems to really enjoy talking stuff like that. And Fetcher can share understanding that feeling of needing to prove something, and getting in over his head because of it, but reassuring there's nothing to prove. Plus there could be a moment of Mikey and the brothers talking about Mikey wanting independence being the youngest brother vs being kinda naive at times.
And idk then Fetcher can geek out over the turtle tank in the background and blabber to Donnie about it, that'd be fun.
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akito-shinonome-daily · 3 days ago
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➥ so between there being no more unused akito area chibis, day 500 being a pretty big number, and me being on vacation at the time, what do y’all think of a different event for day 500 instead of chibi akitos adventures?
➥ at present moment i have a plan is for chibi akitos adventures to return day 600, so a different day 500 event does not mean gone forever
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mystxmomo · 5 months ago
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The reason I draw Vhaeraun the way I do is because I have a pintrest moodboard that's functionally a reference sheet for the way I want to figure out Vhaeraun's body language while drawing him but it's all just punk-band (and specifically Japanese crust-punk) adjacent candid shots.
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swordmaid · 3 months ago
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angy
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dkettchen · 1 year ago
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it's month 7 of pants research and this is the scene of the latest fashion cryptid sighting unsuspecting civilians were subjected to at the local charity shop this morning
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