#absolute most beloved. i have so many hannibal thoughts

[desmodus-draculae]

I am who I have always been; the scales have fallen away from my eyes.

[mariacallous]

Dear Hvaldimir,

I know this is not your real name: It’s simply the name that kind Norwegians gave you when you first turned up off the northernmost coast of Norway just over four years ago. (Hval is Norwegian for whale.)  

Now, you’ve been spotted off the coast of southwestern Sweden. Since you can’t identify yourself, we can’t be certain, but beluga whales comfortable with humans are an absolute rarity in that region. Your arrival there highlights the extraordinary work of military animals. You and your fellow animal warriors are, in fact, indispensable. 

Hvaldimir, your many fans still remember how, one day in April 2019, you simply turned up, presenting yourself to Norwegian fishers in the Norwegian Sea. You seemed to be looking for human company, and as soon as the fishers took a closer look, they discovered your harness. “Equipment of St. Petersburg,” it read in English, and it had a mount for a GoPro underwater camera. Had you traveled from Russia? The Russian city of Murmansk is very close to where you made contact with the Norwegians. Marine experts—real and self-appointed—suggested you’d been trained by the Russian armed forces.  

Andreas Fahlman, the research director at Sweden’s Kolmarden Zoo, told Swedish National Television that the visiting whale may in fact be you, and that mammals in the employ of the Russian Armed Forces are trained to, for example, “guard a naval base or certain vessels. But it’s also about finding different objects underneath the water’s surface.” 

Russia, like the United States and other countries, has a long history of using animals in its military operations. Indeed, animals employed by armed forces everywhere work hard. The Romans infamously thought the Alps would keep them safe from intruders, but they hadn’t reckoned the possibility of Hannibal enlisting elephants. With the aid of nearly 40 elephants and more than 30,000 troops, the Carthaginian general and his men succeeded in crossing the mountain range and advancing on Rome.  

Horses, of course, have been central to battles for as long as war has existed. Though they’re still used for mostly ceremonial purposes (such as the fine displays of British military horsemanship during the funeral of Queen Elizabeth II and the coronation of King Charles III), most mounted regiments have been turned into mechanized regiments, where soldiers travel in vehicles such as armored personnel carriers. But such is the military’s affection for its most crucial animal colleagues that originally mounted regiments (known as cavalry, from caballus, the Latin word for horse) that they’ve kept their names.  

Dogs—“four-legged fighters”—have been similarly central to war efforts, and no technology to date can do what they can. “You’ll find U.S. military working dogs serving wherever American troops do,” the U.S. Defense Department’s four-legged fighter webpage explains. During World War I, for example, dogs joined some 6 million horses and mules and tens of thousands of horses and camels in the war effort. Pigeons carried messages better than the technology of the day was able to, and cats caught the rats proliferating in the trenches. Canaries and mice warned of toxic fumes. Today, animal fighters’ training is every bit as rigorous as that of human soldiers, because they have to be equally good.  

“Since they took on the risky tasks of initial entry or first reconnaissance of sensitive places, they were really highly respected team members,” Belgian ex-soldier Bram Couwberghs, who served with German shepherds and Belgian Malinois in Afghanistan and Lebanon (and at home on counterterrorism operations), told me. “And they’re really an excellent search asset for weapons caches, hidden IEDs, luggage at airports, containers in ports, and goods hidden in places like ships and trucks.” So central was the military dog Cairo’s effort in the killing of Osama bin Laden that his handler, a Navy Seal named Will Chesney, went on to write a book about him. 

Marine mammals such as you, Hvaldimir, are intelligent and made for life underwater, which makes you as indispensable to naval operations as dogs, horses, and their fellow terrestrial animals are to army operations. Your entry into military service, though, is more recent. For nearly six and a half decades, the U.S. Navy has trained sea lions and bottlenose dolphins to explore the undersea environment, search for targets of interest to the military, and “engage” those targets, which might mean marking the location of a mine, attaching grabber devices to underwater objects so they can be removed, or patrolling ships against undersea saboteur divers. No robot has this skill set either.  

The Soviet Union launched a similar program in the late 1970s, nearly two decades after the U.S. Navy did. “Within the next year, the Soviets could train marine mammals to be used in military operational systems such as diver assistance and equipment recovery in the Black Sea. The next steps, possible within 2 years, might be training of the animals for more sophisticated tasks such as placement of packages on ships, as well as for use in areas outside the Black Sea,” the CIA wrote in a top-secret 1976 memo, which has since been declassified. 

“Recent evidence indicates that a Soviet capability to train the animals for use in the open-ocean [sic], at least in limited military and intelligence-gathering roles, may now be available,” the memo added. It had been a rocky road for the Soviets, who were so short on marine mammal expertise that they enlisted the services of some of their country’s outstanding circus artists, who wereused to performing with seals. In the end, the Soviet Navy did manage to (forgive the pun) get an undersea mammal program off the ground at its Sevastopol base. Around this time, the U.S. Navy had also begun training beluga whales, which can swim deeper and live in colder waters than dolphins or sea lions, and later the Soviets added beluga whales, too. 

The rest is well-known: the Soviet Union collapsed, and Ukraine (including Crimea, with its port of Sevastopol) gained independence. Even though the Soviet Navy could keep operating at the port of Sevastopol, the aquarium there was taken over by Ukraine, which repurposed the animals for service among children with disabilities. After Russia illegally annexed Crimea in 2014, the Russian Navy relaunched the mammal program. Just before the February 2022 full-scale invasion of Ukraine, the Russian Navy is reported to have put two dolphin pens at the entrance to Sevastopol. Before that, it had put its dolphins to work at its Syrian base in Tartus. Submarine analyst H. I. Sutton surmises that the intelligent mammals’ role consisted of counter-diver operations. As Sutton discovered shortly after you—Hvaldimir—turned up in Norway, Russia’s Northern Fleet had also established whale pens at its Olenya Bay base, not far from the Russian-Norwegian border.  

Yet, despite being essential to military operations, military animals get shockingly little recognition. To be sure, both the U.S. and the Soviet marine mammal programs were classified for a long time, but military dogs and horses are well-known. Yes, military animals have starred in documentaries and films, including Dog (released last year), which features a U.S. Army Ranger, played by Channing Tatum, and Lulu the Belgian Malinois as they travel to the dog’s handler’s funeral. And yes, more than 70 extraordinarily brave dogs, and pigeons (and one cat, but no sea mammals) have been awarded the prestigious PDSA Dickin Medal for Gallantry. This January, Bass—a U.S. Marine Corps four-legged special operations warrior who has served in Somalia, Iraq, and Afghanistan—became the award’ 75th recipient. The Belgian Malinois was recognized for his bravery in carrying out “350 explosive sweeps and 46 missions to capture high-value targets,” especially his clearance of a mined building while under attack by Taliban fighters. 

But apart from a touching memorial to military animals in London’s Hyde Park, the U.S. War Dogs Memorial in New Jersey, and a few small memorial sites around Europe, there’s little permanent tribute to animals’ extraordinary contributions to our defense efforts and the many lives they’ve saved.  

The animals, of course, have no way of knowing whether they serve a democratic government that merely needs to defend its territory or a dictator keen on invading its neighbors.  

That’s why, Hvaldimir, you’ve done a good deed by unwittingly achieving worldwide celebrity. Thanks to Hvaldimir, a global audience is now aware of the presence of working animals in armed forces, whether on behalf of allies or adversaries.  

We’re all hoping you’ll be able to make your way back to the Norwegian Whale Reserve, the fjord turned into your home by generous Norwegian institutions and citizens, but your apparent excursion to Sweden has served as a useful reminder of the hundreds of animals who toil in obscurity in armed forces around the world without getting so much as a news mention.  

[hellinglasses]

WIP GAME

beloved mutual and actual fruit warfare @blackberrywars tagged me on the wip game and here!! are the rules:

Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of  how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or  tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have wips

so i did the thing and scavenged through my google docs archives while shaking slightly in anticipation and found several works in various states of progress, spanning several years and fandoms. the only currently active are the two marked in bold letters while subsequent spinoffs in that universe are italicised. and i cannot stress enough how much these wouldn’t be even happening without berry and @girls-and-honey. while not all these are going to see the light of day, i really am full of love for all these ideas and thought it would be nice to include them too, and maybe other folks would think about those blorbos in those situations and feel what i’ve felt too

the witcher

of broken dicks and bangxiety (BERRY IS A SAINT AND HAS GONE ABOVE AND BEYOND WITH IDEAS AND EDITING FOR THIS)

himym theme but played on lute and jaskier screaming

our flag means death

I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW @girls-and-honey IS CO-AUTHORING ALL THIS

izzy and ed are those girls from jennifer's body and stede reunites them through the power of rv

how to have your girlfriend spell out for you the love is stored in the hot TA

ed teach town cryptid

holiday shenanigans for polycules and mamas

the new adventures of pissed off dad izzy

the silmarillion and assorted jirt work

that lilo and stitch au that grew out of my control

fringe but make it second age middle-earth

what happens after the love of your life

clowntown

finding nemo but without fish but actually losing your bother when you’re sleep deprived in a bus station after fighting your whole extended family

this is entirely powered by suzi quatro soundtracks but above all no control, or, bev is dean winchester

eddie kaspbrak gets to be patrick dempsey on made of honor (2008)

victorian losers fuck off to maine working doc

hannibal

discovery investigation documentary

the ahs asylum au

good omens

good omens but it’s stranger things but different

gravity falls

the gravity falls x-men au

i also cannot stress enough that if you’re curious about any of these i’d love love love to go off about it and please feel free to ask about more than one, or multiple if you want, brain is literally sizzling with all the blorbo emotion and the possibility of sharing it

i’m tagging @fist-amidst-the-hands i’m not sure who else would like to play but this is absolutely an open invitation

[detectivehannibal]

Hello again! I'm so happy to you're taking headcanons requests! I was wondering if you could do a headcanon for reader convincing Hannibal to watch some sort of reality tv show with her ironically

Hannibal doesn’t really watch TV.

Other than the occasional evening time news, Hannibal’s time was rarely ever spent in front of the TV.

He’d rather use his free time in the kitchen or in his study.

You, however, were not the same.

You were a major TV bug, and you always kept Hannibal updated on the shows you watch.

He loves to hear about your Thursday night episodes of Law and Order: SVU and he likes to hear you go on and on and on about the new episodes of Beat Bobby Flay on Food Network.

While he doesn’t totally get it, he loves hearing you talk about your beloved shows.

You’re constantly begging him to watch one of your shows with you. 

He politely declines, stating that he’s just not interested. 

You halfway gave up on trying, but every once in a while you’ll offer to him again. 

And then one day, you reeled him in without even trying.

You were sitting on the sofa, curled up with a blanket and a cup of tea, flipping through the channels until you landed on one of your favorites.

It was an insanely popular reality TV show, and one that had been running for many years.

It was a bit of a comfort show for you, since you could watch any episode from any season and understand what was happening.

You were watching contently when Hannibal’s socked feet stopped suddenly behind the couch.

Curiosity was written all over his face as he stared at the TV screen.

He was currently witnessing a massive blowout fight between two girls on the screen, and a very dramatic one at that.

He rounded to the front of the couch, his eyes never leaving the TV as he sat next to you.

“What are you watching, darling?”

You told him with a giggle, explaining that it was some trashy reality show with no real plot.

His hand came to rest on your leg as he sat back to get comfortable, completely wrapped up in whatever he was watching.

You glanced at him every once in a while, trying your absolute hardest not to burst into laughter.

He was intently watching, asking an occasional question here and there.

He was marveled by the dramatic music, the tell-all interviews, and most of all how the people trash talked one another openly.

The episode came to an end, and you expected him to get up and leave.

But he didn’t.

He stuck around for the next episode, still as entertained as the first.

Then he stayed for another.

Then another.

And then another.

Before long, you had watched five episodes.

He was horribly disturbed when the screen suddenly went black.

“Hanni, it’s late now. We should go to bed.”

“We aren’t watching the next one?” 

“It’ll be there tomorrow. Now let’s get to bed.”

You have to drag him off of the couch and up the stairs, promising him kisses just to get him into the bedroom.

“I thought you didn’t like TV?” You had smirked once the two of you were snuggled in bed.

Hannibal was a little embarrassed at how entertained he was by it, but even he’d admit that he would watch TV with you from now on.

“Shut up.”

[essektheylyss]

loving your annihilation film reactions. APPARENTLY the movie rights were acquired/film production started BEFORE the book was actually properly published? and the director has said that the adaptation was more of his memory of the manuscript. all this to say that i have tried long and hard to accept and love annihilation the film and annihilation the book as their own things born from the same seed but where lies the strangling fruit that came from the hand of the sinner I shall bring forth the

HAHAHAHA oh yes, this is... very much an issue in Hollywood. Sometimes it works (iirc The Martian was done like that and that movie is phenomenal!) but... often it doesn't, particularly if the author is not involved.

(I have separate thoughts I will not detail here about the increasing interchangeability of authors and screenwriters pushed by Hollywood but like... if you can already craft a story, format and structure can be learned if you're willing. That's not the problem.)

I did set out to watch it for the adaptation choices because I really love the concept and process of adaptation and I thought the book was phenomenal and had very specific opinions on how you could faithfully adapt it, and in this scenario I think every choice that was actually made was wrong.

But also, once I realized that I thought every choice was wrong, I did start looking at it on its own, and... I find that so much of the framing just of the movie on its own is deeply shallow? (Which, I haven't watched Ex Machina since college, but I remember feeling similarly about that one. Ooooh, your robot is a bitter girlboss. We all saw Bladerunner.)

More specific (negative) opinions, and book spoilers, and my thoughts on how to adapt it below the cut, both in case people do really like the movie and cuz it got reeeeal long—

In my opinion, the scientific aspects of it are the absolute most banal possible application of... well, biology, frankly (especially when you're originally dealing with fungus, my absolute beloved, so I was bound to have many opinions here)—the whole like... instant mutation thing? WHAT. It wants to be surrealist without ever selling me on any of the aspects that make it surrealist or even committing to the surrealism, like it doesn't believe or take seriously its own premise so it needs to explain it to make sure you, the audience, do not judge the absurdity of it, and achieves the opposite, where I just feel like the write didn't know how sci-fi or suspense worked as genres. I'm here to suspend some disbelief! I'm not here to have all of the wind cut from the sails because somebody needed to spend $50 million to try to convince people he was clever.

The structure of the film is bizarre and leans way too hard on exposition dumps and just telling both the characters and the viewer exactly what they're looking at, which negates any of the mystery of "The Shimmer" even once you've divorced whatever this is supposed to be from Area X. I really hate the choice to use camera footage rather than journals, especially given they've maintained the radio and satellite interference.

The way the backstories are set up really feels like it chokes out the purpose of the character motivations and then parades the lifeless corpse of that purpose through the streets pretending it's a theme (and, looking at the base level of where the characters are being led, I'm pretty sure an episode of Hannibal did it better). I will say, I do like Josie a lot, and I think she is actually the only one who maintains the concept of the biologist in the original, and her exit should've been the thesis of the film, and the ending with Ventress is genuinely bizarre (and, frankly, gives me end of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull vibes, which is in zero ways a compliment).

It seems like Lena is the last to understand, which makes no sense considering she's the biologist, and this is a biology puzzle (and gives me the impression that this was not someone who understood or appreciated the aspect of the biological intrigue of it). It started with her explaining mitosis, and she should've been the one to understand it best through it all. The scenes with Lena's doppelganger feel... so meaningless, and again, really just negates the ineffability of the whole concept, and the point of the inevitability! Why did the phosphorus burn down the lighthouse this time but not with Kane. Why did the doppelganger let herself be destroyed only for Lena to go back. (And, frankly, they and the treatment of the biological science have an insufferable vibe of edgy film major who just took a philosophy 101 course. And I would absolutely know.)

In terms of my thoughts on adaptation, I think the first mistake was getting rid of the conceit of having stripped them of names. It's the easiest thing to maintain in film, even easier than in prose. You lose some of the effect when they're not calling attention to it all the time, but you don't undercut it at all. (Same with "The Shimmer" instead of Area X.)

As I read the book, I felt the psychologist's hypnosis would be hard to adapt, but actually, I think film editing choices (jarring cuts, jump cuts, lighting effects, etc) could've made it very easy, especially since you then have to simply transition back to a more traditional flow of editing once the biologist stops being effected by it.

I'd have also organized it roughly as it is in the book starting at the tower, and shown the husband's return in flashback, along with the biologist's memories, probably with a lot of jump cuts. Also, just keep the original timeline of Area X! I don't really get the point in changing it, except to add urgency, even though... part of the horror of the original is that the process is slow but it is inevitable.

In general, much of the rest of the aspects of Area X's weirdness and how it affects the biologist are pretty straightforward, even on film. I imagine they were demotivated by the very... intangible aspect of depicting the interaction with the lighthouse keeper at the end, but honestly... A24 could've done it, no sweat. I'm no expert on effects, but I think both The Green Knight and EEAAO had aspects to them that I'd say were comparable to ways to make that scene work.

And really, I do think that this screenplay feels like it was written to make sure the audience knew that the writer understood all of the clever details, and as such so much of the ambiguity that makes the book fascinating and haunting is lost. Even with some of the fucked up horror effects, it feels a lot more like a generic action movie than the suspense thriller it should've been, especially because so much of it is just stated outright.

(Also, oh my god I hate a climactic title drop in a situation in which it did not need to ever be said to have the effect.)

Which is why I return back to, the first mistake was giving them names.

[majoringinsarcasm]

I just realized I haven’t been looking at the episodes descriptions but I now kind of like how I don’t really know what’s going on. So I will continue to be mostly clueless because that’s more fun.

S1E4: Ceuf (so it means egg if spelled Oeuf or something but Google is also confused by this episode title. So let’s just say. Bad Egg which I have no doubt will feel appropriate in 40 minutes)

His little house is like a boat on the water it’s where he feels safe don’t touch me

The double voice effect is coooool

IMAGINE BEING THE CHILD I hate this actually

FUCKING LMAO LAMO JACK JACK OH MY FOD ITS SO COOL FROM WILLS POV BUT THE CUT TO JACK JUST LOOKING AT THIS FUCKING DUDE J CSNT

Bringing homemade sausage to feed your good buddy’s dogs, play on his piano and snoop in his home.

Why did you prick yourself you absolute freak of nature

I forget that Hannibal and Alana are like, friendly / friends and it’s like. This man had so many connections but it was all layered; nobody got down to the basement level. Until they did. And it freaked him out

JIMMY HAS A TWIN??????????

Will being an only child is like sure whatever. Alana has brothers, Zeller has sisters, Bev has a big family and JIMMY HAS A TWIN??? Hannibal I know had a sister all we need is to know if Jack had a big family too what the hell

BEVS ok I. That ha to be a saying right did Bev’s sister actuall get away with murder or does she mean that figuratively

Uncomfortable family talk love it hate it very much

LOL THE SMASH CUT TO THE RUNNING MAN NO

“Our friend Will seems haunted today.”

MY BELOVED FINALLY HAS HER HAIR PINNED UP THANK GOODNESS

SO

This is very upsetting wow ok. Lost Boys. Children murdering their families. Or something like it. Don’t. Mmmm. Bad bad bad bad the holiday setup feels worse somehow also is it December??? What is the timeline for this show what month is it looked like autumn when Abigail and Alana were talking

Oh this woman I would kill her with my bare fucking hands how dare you how. I hate. Children being hurt is horrific and I want to drown her

Seeetie pie I’m gonna fucking gag

BKMB

They are best friends please

I HATE THIS VERY MUCH LWGIT HATE KT PLEASE END ALREADY

Hannibal: Will is the responsible father who is afraid to get close to you. I’m the cool dad who gives you mushroom tea.

I don’t know how to properly put this emotion into words but lonely only child Will vs middle children in well to do families and their capture mother. The pieces are there

He’s so charming! Cook me breakfast for dinner!!

I. HATE. THIS. SO. MUCH

WILL PUT SOMW FUCKING HUSTLE INTO YOUR STRIDE

If this little boy dies I’m suing

Kill this bitch kill her right fucking now

BKMB WITH THE SHOT

Don’t give a grieving teen mushroom tea

BELLA CRAWFORD HI BELLA

Oh honey oh Bella

A bicep to soothe the pain thank you

Final Thoughts: FUCK THAT EPISODE I HATED THAT EPISODE I want that abductor dead I don’t care I hate her. Uhhh fuck idk Hannibal and Abigail have a fun dynamic, Will knows he too has no family of humans, I’m once again sad about Jack and. Idk. Alana was serving I liked seeing her even if I do find the inevitable funny and messed up. I like that for the most part each case is wrapped up within the episode very monster of the week vibes. Hate when children are hurt, so that was horrific. Bev and Hannibal are both eldest siblings. That's interesting. Don’t wanna watch this one again!

[koscheimaryas]

send me a ship yada yada + dexther

send me a ship and i’ll tell you ─ starring esther and declan

where was their first date?: that might still be up to debate, since esther has already lost count of how many casual first encounters she and declan had before starting to actually go out together. the one that is still the most vivid in her mind, however, is the memory of making plans to see him in a party alpha would throw, the one they hadn’t even bothered attending before sneaking off to get to his kombi.

what my muse would do to cheer yours up: declan always has the worst mood downpours when stressful things happen and there’s little he can do about it. over the months, esther learned how to deal with those by forcing him out of his misery state by talking to him, coming up with new things and places for them to visit and absolutely anything where she could actively help by being there for him. but just like herself would say, there’s nothing like sex to lighten up one’s mood.

who wakes the other up with kisses (and where)?: since declan is the early riser, he’s usually the one to wake esther up with neck kisses, all the way up to one shoulder before she’s out of her sleep and perfectly ready to retribute him by doing what she does best. 

who would pour water on the other to wake them up?: esther, probably, since she’s just oh so funny. it would be one of the worst pranks ever since both sleep in the same bed, but her boyfriend’s pissed reaction would be absolutely priceless.

how my muse would wake your’s up: she’d probably spend a good 10 minutes just staring dreamily at declan’s soft, relaxed expressions that prove that he’s far, far away in sleepland. she’d then proceed to pepper kisses all over his face, her fingertips tracing his skin and pretty much anything that she can get her hands on before he wakes up and throws her off her own game.

who would start a food fight while baking or cooking?: esther would playfully smear some flour on his face and end up dirtying one of his ten thousand black t-shirts. he’d do the same. next thing they see, it is food war I and no one’s safe from the mess they made in their kitchen.

who would suggest putting marijuana in the brownies?: esther, obviously. she’d bring up the subject once and after any of his slightest agreements she’d put the task into gear. they’d probably end up feeling sleepy as fuck and collapse on top of each other for 12 hours. 

who said i love you first and how (or when) did they say it?: declan gave a hint about it first, back in the camp trip their university had prepared. esther almost ruined everything by trying to do it through texts, but later that night, at the fireworks exposition, declan brought her close and said it first.

who would get into a physical altercation over the other?: esther would, for literally any reason she could find to justify it. it would probably be because of jealousy.

who insists on purchasing a pet together (and what kind of pet?): both really wanted a dog since way before they even moved in together. hannibal, their big, stupid and maddening dog, is the best thing that happened in their lives. he makes a mess out of their loft and eats his fair share of shoes and clothes, but he’s still the most beloved pet.

who is louder (in and out of bed)?: esther is the one who’s extremely loud in bed, bless her heart. it really is all because of declan’s doing, though. out of it, however, they’re both pretty much quiet people, esther’s exceptions happening when she’s got two or three drinks in her system.

who takes more risks (in and out of bed)?: they both like to try out new things whenever the subject is brought up, but esther’s probably the one who does it first. she just knows he will be on board with whatever she suggests, anyway.

who would bring up the word ‘daddy’ first?: none of them, since they find that the daddy kink is a very disgusting kink to have. when discussing the subject once, through text, esther innocently asked if declan had a daddy kink, and then proceeded to never think about the idea of it again.

what is their shared, favourite kink?: anything aboard the bdsm train is their go-to choice, mostly bondage and making good use of their dominant/submissive roles. there’s no need to wonder about who’s playing what: esther’s the little sub bitch through and through.

describe their typical kiss: it is usually the maddeningly slow one, the one that’s deepened as each second ticks by, which ends up becoming way more than just a kiss, since they can’t help themselves as soon as they’ve got their hands on each other and the slightest bit of privacy. there’s not even the need for privacy, depending on their situation.

how my muse shows their love for yours: esther is constantly finding new ways to show her love for her boyfriend. she loves searching up for new songs that express how they got to know each other, how they got involved, how life’s been a rollercoaster ever since they got together. one of her favorite ways is sharing poems, lines and beautiful things she finds during her days, always the most romantic ones possible. she wonders if there really is something that could ever fully express how stupidly in love she is. 

their favourite ways to give affection: sharing songs and thoughts with each other, touching each other constantly, confessing how they feel on a daily; how even the slightest things make them remember about their moments together and how blissful it is.

who is more dominate?: this is not even up to debate. declan is.

who sings in the shower?: esther is not much of a singer, so it would probably be something that declan does and that’s absolutely out of his context. his song choices must always be any great 2010 punk-rock hit.

who washes the other’s hair in the shower?: esther does, and she simply loves to do it. one of her favorite things ever is feeling his strands between her fingers, no matter the context of it.

who initiates shower sex despite being in a rush?: that is probably a conjoined idea that they put to the greatest use, no matter how late they end up being. esther will tease him first, try to get away with it and then realize how hopeless that would be as soon as he puts his mind to making her suffer.

who teases the other under the table at dinner with the family?: esther does, and she thinks it’s the funniest thing ever to watch declan squirm as he tries to maintain a conversation with his mother, since they don’t really visit her own family. his mom probably even knows what must be going on in the places her eyes can’t reach.

who has the weirder taste in music?: they’re both avid music consumers, but esther went through more phases during her life, even dipping her toes in the reggaeton pool once. declan likes his alternative rock better, no matter how doubtful his choices are every once in a while.

who would initiate dancing in the rain?: declan would twirl her around the street first and she would take it upon her to get them waltzing until they’re back home, laughing until her cheeks hurt.

who would be the one to suggest marriage?: they both want it so much that it probably was a very conjoined thought. and it might happen soon enough.

what would they name their children?: some nice, simple name for a very sexy child, esther would say. one that would take from something they admire a lot. no, it won’t be ryan ross

who would their children take after more?: declan, probably. their little four-eyed gremlin would be the same as his father, all quiet, brooding and brilliant. he’d get his looks from his mother, though.

[yikesharringrove]

Hey Yikes, can you rec some harringrove fics you’ve read (or thought about readin)g while you were in the desert? If you want to disclose your reading list (non fic) too, I’d like to see it please. Summer is on its way and I gotta read new stuff! Thanks!

So, I’m terrible at keeping track of fics. Consider everything I reblog a rec.

Here is a link to my Ao3 bookmark page, these are ALMOST all of my favorite fics, there were a few I read before I made an Ao3 that I wasn’t able to find to bookmark sooooo rip.

As far as non fic, here a few of my favorite books: (I mostly read music autobios, since that’s what I like soo, and I have Audible, so most of these I listened to since I’m not a v good reader)

Scar Tissue, by Anthony Kiedis and Larry Sloman Autobiography of Anthony Kiedis, frontman and songwriter for the Red Hot Chili Peppers.  Speaks very candidly about his addiction, his struggles with mental illness, and the history of the Peps.

Tranny: Confessions of Punk Rock's Most Infamous Anarchist Sellout, by Laura Jane Grace and Dan Ozzi Beautifully written, frontwoman and songwriter of Against Me! details the career of the band, how they went from being a beloved punk band, to being called sellouts by even the most devout fans. She chronicles her struggle with gender, coming out, and eventual transition. She goes into detail about song lyrics. Absolutely wonderful. I made my dad read it because of how deeply she discusses gender identity and dysphoria.

Hairstyles of the Damned, by Joe Meno A great look at the punk scene in Chicago in the early 90s. Deals with socioeconomic disparity, Catholic School (a real close to home vibe for me), and coming of age themes. For sure not for everyone, but I really loved it.

As You Wish: Inconceivable Tales from the Making of The Princess Bride, by Cary Elwes and Joe Layden Literally just stories from filming The Princess Bride, absolutely amazing, especially if you love the movie. Super wholesome. I recommend the audiobook, read by Cary Elwes, but excerpts read by other cast and crew members. Just makes everything super magical.

The House on Mango Street, by Sandra Cisneros I read this several years ago (in Spanish, La Casa en Mango Street). Details a young Latina as she grows up in Chicago through a series of little vignettes, slices into her life. Discusses themes of womanhood, socioeconomic disparity, immigration, and racism. Heartwarming and made me cry several times.

Red Dragon, by Thomas Harris First book in the Hannibal Lector series. Supremely well written, kept me on the edge of my damn seat. I think I finished it in a day. I love the Silence of the Lambs movie, so I read the trilogy (although the last book fucking SUCKS don’t read it. Stop at Silence) I really liked the antagonist, although there are many transphobic themes and a lot of child abuse. The book is just generally super heavy.

The Disaster Artist: My Life Inside The Room, the Greatest Bad Movie Ever Made, by Greg Sestro and Tom Bissell I first watched The Room maybe ten years ago? I was in sixth grade, and I thought it was supposed to be a comedy, and I hated it. Upon finding out it was supposed to be a drama, it immediately made it amazing. The book goes into much more than the film adaptation did, gives a bunch more background into Tommy Wiseau, and even delves into his early life, which is whack. I listened to this as an audiobook, read by Greg Sestro, and you can just feel him being like ?????? the whole time.

The Joy Luck Club, by Amy Tan Really beautiful story of four Chinese women who get together to play mahjong after immigrating to San Fransisco in 1949. They play and each woman tells the story of her family, typically a story of their mother. The movie is just as beautiful as the book. Wonderful stories of mothers and daughters, of loss and love and the grueling experiences they had to go through in order to make a better life for their own children. Showcases the experiences of first and second-generation immigrants with great care.

The Outsiders, by S.E. Hinton I talk about this book all the time. One of the best books I’ve ever read. Deals with male friendship, abuse home lives, socioeconomic disparity, found family, love, and softness. One of the greatest movie adaptations of a book as well. Basically said Johnny and Dally really said fuck toxic masculinity.

Ten Thousand Saints, by Eleanor Henderson Chronicles a young boy in the late 1980′s after he loses his best friend in a drug overdose. He is sent to live with his father in the East Village and discovers the world of straight-edge, the intersection of punk rock and Hare Krishna philosophy. Deals with themes of addiction, teen pregnancy, death, and the AIDS crisis.

I kinda read a lot of the same stuff (lol) but I hope you can find something you may find interesting in there!

[victorineb]

On a moonlit Halloween night… 

“This is ridiculous. How are we getting away with this?” Will had adopted a theatrical whisper that, in Hannibal’s opinion, was more likely to draw attention than their current, admittedly fairly dramatic, appearance.  

“Most people do not share our intimate familiarity with the substance,” Hannibal whispered back, leaning into the side of Will’s throat to breathe in the scent of blood and sweat. “Nor your particular fondness for it, my love,” he added, just to see Will blush like he hadn't ravished Hannibal next to a still-warm corpse not half an hour ago.

“Shut up,” Will said, elbowing Hannibal in the side as if irritated, though the smile he couldn’t quite rein in put the lie to that idea. “They’re so content in their blindness. We’re dripping in viscera and yet the guys in the giant Pikachu suit got more attention than we have.”

“Are you disappointed, mylimasis? Were you hoping to instil terror amongst the crowd, to watch as they shrank from your magnificence, to bask in their fear as they recognised the hunter in their midst?”

“Shut. Up!” This time Will grabbed Hannibal and shoved him against a convenient wall, immediately pissed off that the fond, amused smile on Hannibal’s face didn’t falter for a moment. He shoved his leg between Hannibal’s thighs – causing a symphony of plastic squealing as their murder suits rubbed together – and that got a reaction, Hannibal’s eyes fluttering as he snatched in a breath. Will let him wait for a moment, making no move other than to gently rock his leg against the stiffness he could feel rising beneath it. He watched Hannibal with the sharp gaze of a predator awaiting the moment their prey breaks from cover, and when Hannibal’s lips parted slightly, he surged forward to devour them.  

He allowed himself the span of two minutes to work Hannibal up, biting at his mouth and pressing against his body, hips rolling just enough to have Hannibal straining against his hold. Then, mercilessly, he pulled back completely, watching with satisfaction as the dazed look in Hannibal’s eyes turned dark and wanting. Will grinned.

“Now, behave. Or I will put a leash on you and teach you obedience.”

With a smack to his thigh just short of truly painful, Will turned from his panting cannibal and began sauntering off, pausing only to check that he was being followed and finding Hannibal peeling himself from the wall with a hungry gleam in his eye.

“Down boy,” he teased as Hannibal stalked towards him. “Blood’s one thing but a public sex show will attract an audience, even on Halloween.”

Hannibal stepped straight into his space, sliding his face into the crook of Will’s shoulder and breathing deep. “As if I would allow another’s eyes to behold you as you writhe in ecstasy,” he growled, biting tenderly at the tendon in Will’s neck. “Slaughter thousands in the clear light of day and I would only watch in admiration, but your body and your pleasure belong only to me, beloved.”

Will grinned, sharp and amused, then grabbed Hannibal’s hair and yanked him upwards. “Likewise,” he said, and once more crushed his lips to Hannibal’s, blood smearing and sliding messily between them. And when they parted this time, it was only to rush with hurried footsteps back home, hands clasped tight in promise of the closer touch that would-

“Murder husbands!”

Will tensed and froze mid-step. Hannibal suspected he would have already bundled the young man pointing at them into the nearest available alley had he not been held in place by Hannibal's grip on his arm. It wouldn't do for Will to go off half-cocked (the consequences tended to be messy) and, besides, it wasn't fear with which they were being regarded. The young man – early-twenties, clearly inebriated, dressed in a swirling black cloak and clutching a bright red sword of some sort – was beaming at the pair with enthusiastic delight.

“You're the first to correctly identify us,” Hannibal said, his tone affable and pleased and giving absolutely no hint that he would snap this young man’s rather scrawny neck at the first sign of a threat.

The young man grinned and shook his head. “Yeah, I bet most people think you're a couple of Patrick Batemans, with the plastic get-up and the blood. Dummies. Obviously you're them, Will and Hannibal; Bateman had a raincoat, not a onesie!”

Will fidgeted as their admirer rambled, clearly uncomfortable with the scrutiny. Hannibal, for his part, though not exactly pleased by the description of his hunting suit as a “onesie,” was rather amused by the young man’s familiarity with his story, allowing him to give a semi-factual account of their previous life he had clearly put together from Internet chatrooms and the ever-lurid speculation of one Freddie Lounds. Until:

“I mean, your costumes are almost perfect.”

Hannibal frowned. “Almost?”

“Yeah, I mean, obviously the real Will Graham's a lot shorter than your friend. Like, you should be towering over him, but I guess you can't do anything about that.”

“Indeed, I could hardly be said to dwarf my dear husband.”

“I mean, I guess you could wear lifts like Robert Downey... oh wait, you're really married? I thought maybe the rings were just part of the costume…”

“Mmm, for almost six months now,” Hannibal replied, squeezing Will’s arm and smirking at the glower he got in response.

“Ok, cool. So, also, your husband's way too built to be Will – the real one’s all scrawny and delicate, no muscles on him at all. The hair’s good though, and the scowling - it's amazing nobody realised Graham was a killer for so long, every photo of him looks like he'd murder everyone in a ten mile radius just for existing.”

“Might still,” Will muttered, so low that even Hannibal barely heard it. He smirked and tried not to get distracted by the image of Will cutting a bloody swathe through the throngs of be-costumed revellers. Instead, he delivered a small pinch to the inside of Will’s elbow and returned his attention to their admirer.

“Forgive me if I'm not too disappointed that my husband is a more impressive specimen than the actual Mr Graham,” he said, with a wink that automatically caused Will to roll his eyes.

“Yeah, don't blame you,” the young man grinned in response. “And you're pretty much dead on. I mean, you're not blond and your eyes aren't red but you've got his cheekbones, for sure. And the accent. Just one thing, though,”

“Oh?” Hannibal raised a brow.

“Well, it's just that Lecter would never go around being so obviously affectionate. I mean, he's an evil sociopath, right, so he can't feel love? Whereas you guys, it's so obvious that you're totally into each other, no way Lecter and Graham would behave like that. Especially you,” he said, gesturing towards a rapidly-less-amused Hannibal, “you were pretty much draped all over your ‘Will’ here, Lecter’s way too much of a cold fish for that!”

“Cold… fish…” Hannibal said, slowly, leaning into the young man’s space. “You know, your manners could be considered somewhat lacking, my friend…”

The young man’s expression faltered for the first time, the always-satisfying first gleam of fear flashing in his eyes. But just as Hannibal was about to kick his feet from under him and teach him the true meaning of horror, he heard a snicker from behind and felt Will pull him back to his side, nuzzling them together.

“Come on, babe, he already complimented the costumes, you don’t have to give him your scary Doctor Lecter impression too. Besides,” he added, leaning in to kiss his still-coiled husband on the cheek, “you know he’s right. I’d never have fallen for that uptight, pretentious, emotionless asshole. Not even if he does look fine as hell in those suits of his.”

Hannibal peered down at him, inscrutable. “Fine as hell, is that what you think?”

“Guilty secret, huh?” the young man asked, apparently recovered enough to watch them with the amusement of one who has no idea how close he is to death.

Will winked at him. “One of many, I’m afraid.”

“Ought I to be jealous of this fine young cannibal?” Hannibal purred, the monster already tucked back safely beneath the sheen of avuncular friendliness.

“Absolutely, I’m going to abandon you, my brand new husband, and run off with the fancy cannibal who has a habit of cutting into his boyfriends. What can I say, I can’t resist the lure of a romantic gutting.” Will grinned sweetly at Hannibal. “Come on, what kind of fool would do that?”

“Will Graham?” the young man suggested, clearly having bought Will’s lie hook, line and sinker.

“And I am most definitely not Will Graham,” Will said, nodding at him in agreement.

“Lucky for me, I guess,” the young man said. “Hey, any chance I could take a selfie with you?”

It was Will’s turn to tense at the suggestion – albeit it more out of a hatred of being photographed than any sense of danger – but thankfully Hannibal had never met a fool he couldn’t charm the sense out of. “Ah, but then you might be tempted to post it where the good people of the FBI could see and we couldn’t have that, could we?” He wagged a finger gently at the young man and Will thought that was spreading it on a bit thick but it seemed to work with the professorial persona Hannibal had adopted because the young man laughed, holding up his hands in mock surrender.

“Ok, ok, I can take a hint. Wouldn’t want to wind up on your dinner table, right?”

“Definitely not,” Will agreed. “It’s from Ikea, it probably wouldn’t take your weight.”

The young man gave this a bigger laugh than it probably deserved, which meant he missed the fleeting, outraged glare Hannibal gave Will for even daring to suggest he would shop at Ikea. “Ok, well, I gotta go, lot of tricks still to be treated, you know? Have a good night!” He stood back and took one last look at Will and Hannibal, shaking his head and saying, “Man, those costumes really are almost perfect, glad I got to see them.” And then he turned and disappeared along the street, cape flowing out behind him.

“Fascinating,” Hannibal murmured.

“Dangerous,” Will countered.

“I suppose now would be your opportunity to say ‘I told you so.’”

Will’s head whipped round and he glared at Hannibal. “Yes it is and yes I did and if you thought I’d be above saying so then you know me about as well as that kid does.”

“At least he does not believe you to be such a cold fish that even a modest amount of public affection is wholly out of character.” Hannibal was actually pouting and Will melted like he was looking at the last puppy in the pound.

“Please, if our best disguise involves you acting like my own personal boa constrictor, I'm not gonna be unhappy about it. Besides,” he said, lacing his fingers together with Hannibal’s, “I think I'd rather keep the real real Hannibal Lecter my little secret.”

“Oh? And which Hannibal Lecter would that be?”

“The one who is both a bloodthirsty, brutal, beautiful killer and a heart-eyed, loved-up, hopelessly besotted little love bunny.”

“Will…”

“The one who both fucked up my life, manipulated me and tried to force me to be something I wasn't and who saw the real Will Graham and freed me from an existence that was slowly killing me.”

“Will…”

“The one who is both a gigantic, fussy, pretentious pain in my ass and the love of my fucking life. And I'm the only one who gets to see him. All of him.”

“All?” Hannibal echoed, raising a suggestive eyebrow.

Will stepped in close and brought his lips to Hannibal’s ear, delivering a nip to the lobe before murmuring, “Yeah, but only if you can manage to get us home without any further incidents.”

Which, of course, Hannibal did, and in less than ten minutes to boot. For which trick, Will rewarded him with a quite magnificently big treat indeed.

[recurring-polynya]

Hi, I'm late to the party but if you are still interested in doing the bookish asks: 1 and 7 + 13 + 18. I hope you have a good day!!!

It’s never too late!! (the book meme was back here, icymi)

1. Which book would you consider the best book you’ve ever read and why?

“Best” is such a subjective term.

On one hand, every single person who has ever met me in real life would call me a huge liar if I didn’t at least mention Infinite Jest. I love Infinite Jest. It blew my head off my shoulders. I think about it all the time, I talk about it incessantly.  I read it twice in two years and I imagine I was absolutely insufferable at that time. It is a work of genius, an achievement beyond the bounds of normal humans. It is simultaneously extremely prescient (I have thought about the section about masks for video calls literally every day of the pandemic) and spectacularly wrong (the rise of Netflix would make people go watch a duck pond turn over, REALLY?) That being said, DFW was a very troubled man and a deeply problematic one. The book is far too white and male, and it has been championed by a particular breed of Shitty Dudes. To be honest, it’s not even a book. It’s the negative space of a book, a Fourier Transform of a book. I wish everyone would read it, and I make it a personal point to never, ever tell anyone to read it. But if you do, I am absolutely here to discuss the filmography of J.O. Incandenza at any time.

I read The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemison shortly after it won a Hugo in 2016, and I knew, upon reading it, that it was the most important speculative fiction book of my generation. It is everything specfic is supposed to be-- to challenge your place in the world, to make you feel both complicit and cheated by the systems around you, to make you rage at injustice, to make you want to change things. It is a very upsetting series-- many awful things happen to the main characters. I don’t recall it being particular gross or gory, just devastating. One of the central themes is the way that mothers try and fail to protect their children, and I read it at a time when I had small babies and I burst into tears constantly. Anyway, it’s an incredible set of books, but it’s not fun to read. As a bonus, as far as I can tell from interviews and her Twitter, N.K. Jemison is a very smart and cool person.

Finally, to round out the set: every time I read Howl’s Moving Castle, I am struck with what a perfect novel it is. It is small and cozy, exciting and sweet and weird and funny. If I could choose any novel in the world to have written, it would be Howl’s Moving Castle.

7. Have you ever despised something you have read?

Oh, boy, have I!

I can hold a grudge against a book much longer than I could ever hold a grudge against a person! In my old age, I have gotten in the habit of giving up on things that I am not enjoying, which has caused me to chill out a lot, but I do have some old hate-faves!

I used to hate Game of Thrones. I threw the second one across the room after some witch lady gave birth to some evil smoke. But these days, I just really feel for the fans, who seem like really nice folks. They got a shitty last season and they’re never going to get the last of those books. I also feel for G.R.R. Martin, because I can definitely imagine getting that far along with something and then pbbting on the floor, and I cannot bring myself to feel anything bad for him.

The Road was almost a good book. I will be honest, I only read it because I am deeply in love with the Fleet Foxes song White Winter Hymnal. The mechanics of cannibalism as so poorly envisioned in The Road. Look, I do not like thinking about cannibalism. I hate cannibalism. There are only two zombie movies I will watch and I want nothing to do with any Hannibal-related property. But The Road’s ideas about cannibalism is so bad that even I am offended by it. I was extremely gratified when my very specific complaints appeared in this classic The Toast piece.

The last book I hated was something by Brandon Sanderson that I hated so much that I refuse to look up the title. All the magic was color based, and there was one pretty cool lady fighter character who got upset because she trained so hard that she got really ripped and didn’t think she was pretty anymore. I can’t believe I finished that book.

13. How do you chose which book to read next?

I used to be a really well-rounded reader. I read a lot of non-fiction, mostly history of science, and the sort Malcolm Gladwell stuff that was popular in early aughts. Around the time of the first Ferguson protests, I made a practice of reading a lot of Black authors and non-fiction about Black people, for about a year. I would try to alternate books that met my reading aspirations with more “dessert” reading-- fluffy stuff, re-reading old faves, when something new by a beloved author would come out. I have had a couple of friends write books and I do make it a priority to buy and read them. Also, if a friend specifically asks me to read something because they want to talk about it, I will also prioritize it, this is my love language.

Anyway, after the 2016 election, my brain broke, I could no longer handle anything difficult and bad in my leisure time and I read exclusively YA for about a year. I kinda stopped reading books entirely in 2019 when I was obsessively writing fanfic, but I have gotten back into it lately. I choose what to read entirely based on whimsy. I have been reading Jane Austen books all summer, and I’m gonna read Sense and Sensibility next. It’s sitting on the coffee table, I just need to actually open it up.

18. Did you enjoy the Hunger Games?

The Hunger Games were... fine? I read a lot of YA, and they aren’t my favorites by any means, but they were exciting and I remember reading through them really fast. (I hesitate to say I *enjoyed* them, because they are not very fun books). Probably my hottest Hunger Games take is that I think they would have been substantially improved if they hadn’t been written in the first person.

The thing about Katniss is that she is honestly not a smart person. She’s a dummy. I... love this actually. Young women are so rarely allowed to stupid in media. It’s so much more common to see the Hermiones-- the girl who is smart and level-headed and sensible, where her male companions are fun and relatable and dumb as rocks. Katniss gets manipulated a lot-- that’s what the book is about, but it’s not in a dudes-trying-to-get-in-her-pants way, it’s in a society-trying-to-turn-her-into-a-tool, which is also a plotline that girls don’t get. Unfortunately, because it’s written in the first person, it’s pretty easy to get frustrated with the character, or feel like the book or the author is stupid, rather than that there is this dim bulb character getting led around by the nose. I think a third-person narration could give a more forgivable perspective on her. Katniss has a lot of good qualities-- she is brave and loyal and wants to do what’s right, and I think the books would be better served to make you, the reader, get righteously angry at the way she is being exploited, than to try to give you a view inside her head. I think this is also why the movies came out pretty good, although, to be fair, I think I only saw the first one.

[guylty]

It’s time to come to a proper run-through of last month’s Red Dragon Con 5 in London. Kate already wrote at length about the decision process and the run-up to the con on her blog last week. I’m afraid, I didn’t have that many qualms. When the news came through that Richard was going to attend the con, I was on those tickets as fast as you can say “Dolarhyde”. Not because of Hannibal, the fannibals or any previous con experience. In fact I had never been to a con before – and if truth be told, I never really wanted to go to a con before. But after checking the con ticket prices and making sure that flights to London in February are generally slow sellers, I reckoned that it was worth investing in it – even if only to witness the potentially one and only ever con attendance of Mr Armitage. Who knew whether this kind of event would ever happen again – with RA, that is? He had been rather shy about attending cons in the past, so this could easily be a once-off. Enough reason for me to see for myself, especially as I had experienced the fannibals as a very welcoming, nice fandom back in 2015 when Hannibal was on air. However, I was rather relieved that not only one but two of my fandom friends agreed to join me in London – Kate and Hariclea.

RA is definitely my Waterloo…

What more or less passed me by was Kate’s long battle in January with a very persistent cold that almost had her cancel her participation. We did, however, lose Hariclea as a co-con companion, as sadly, Hariclea’s mum passed away a couple of days before the event and she understandably had to cancel her attendance to go home. Nevertheless, on Friday morning, I took the early morning flight to LCR to get a few hours of exhibition hopping in before I was going to meet Kate. I made my way out to Heathrow to meet Kate in the hotel she had kindly booked. Sharing a hotel room with a stranger I had only known online and barely seen a photograph of? Of course – I have only ever met nice people through my fangirling activities. Plus, she was taking the same risk *grins*. I took the Piccadilly Line out towards Heathrow, got off at Hatton Cross, hopped on a bus, got off at the edge of the Heathrow runway, walked through a rather cold, grey, wet London day and kind of chuckled when I saw the hotel was right next to a bowling alley. Well, just in case that whole con malarkey didn’t work out we at least had some alternative entertainment…

Fuck it, Dude. Let’s go bowling!

I can tell you, there was a certain amount of excitement as I made my way to room 156 where my conspirator was already waiting for me, having checked in an hour earlier. If I hadn’t stopped smoking last November, I would’ve had a couple of rollies to calm down the nerves. (cf. a previous meeting also involving a hotel way back in 2014. I see a theme developing here…) As it was, I didn’t need any rollies. Kate opened the door, I said hi, we hugged – and we launched into a very comfortable friendship right there and then. Let me tell you, the woman is tolerant, witty and easy-going, ignoring my moody nonsense and providing the funniest comparisons from here to the Antipodes and back. We seemed to be pretty much on the same wave-length with everything over the weekend – from party attendance to fannibal defending to beddie times. Kate had me in stitches with her quips, and that alone made for three of the happiest, most carefree days of my life.

N/C

Registration

So, with the basics basically out of the way, we were looking forward to the weekend, con novices that we were. The con was billed to start at 4pm on Friday with registration. Since we had opted to stay in a hotel about 15 minutes away from the con venue, we decided to head over to the Renaissance hotel for a bit of re-con – and a bite to eat – in advance of the 4pm registration. Much to our surprise, a queue had already formed when we entered the lobby of the Renaissance hotel at about 3pm. We joined the queue – an exercise that would prove to be event-defining for the rest of the weekend… At the end of the queue we registered and received our dog tags badges for the event.

Totally reconciled with the fact that Gold tickets were sold out: Regular tickets were adorned with the Armitage. ‘A beautiful rear can also endear’ etc.

Thanks to some prior research we had also a) brought lanyards (so didn’t have to buy any) and b) signed up for stewarding at the con. Except that while Kate’s application as a volunteer had been accepted, I had never heard back from them. Kate encouraged me to try and get into stewarding nonetheless – which I did and was also “ennobled” as a con steward. This proved very useful later on. In various respects.

But first of all Kate and I finally got something to eat in the bar – and had our first *real* encounter with a fannibal, a lovely woman from Germany called Johanna, who really and totally set the tone and the bar for all subsequent interactions with the Hannibal fandom. There is next to no chance that she is ever going to see this, but if you know her, please let her know: Johanna, if you are reading this – thank you for being so kind, so funny, so encouraging. You really make a fantastic figurehead for your fandom. I enjoyed meeting you, and I regret not having bumped into you again! – You would think that you can’t lose your companions in a hotel – but you can. A lot of the communication and arranging of meetings was conducted via text message and/or Twitter DM that weekend. And that includes my roomie Kate and I. Yep, there were various instances where we had to call each other on the phone to locate each other in the hotel. Mad! Luckily fellow fan armidreamer and I had also exchanged phone numbers, and so I was able to hook up with her on Friday, too, and we ended up meeting all through the weekend. The more the merrier, right?

Anyway, the queuing continued, this time for the various extras one could splash out on. Photo ops and autographs are the big draw at cons, and I suspect it is where a lot of extra money is actually being made. Coming to RDC5, I had no intention of getting anything beyond the one autograph that was included in my ticket already. When Kate said that she was going to get a photo done, I was still undecided. However, you can’t just rock up at the photo (or autograph) sessions at these cons. Rather, you buy a voucher that entitles you to a photo shoot or an autograph. And so I decided to play it safe and bought a photo voucher – just in case. More about the whole photo saga later. And believe me, it’s a saga. If I knew it would be, I wouldn’t have bothered. I am still embarrassed. Like many other people I also had huge reservations about paying hefty prices for an autograph. Especially as autographs actually do not mean that much to me *personally*. I own a few already (personalised and unpersonalised, on photos, programmes and tickets – heck, I even have a silver “RA” on my beloved Pop!Thorin – see picture right), and I never had to pay for any of them. But then I thought I’d better use the opportunity and get a couple of autographs signed for future auctions – my donation, so to speak. And I also wanted to get a souvenir for Hariclea as a tiny little consolation for missing the con… So, whoa, 85 GBP went out the window there… (1 photo + 2 autographs). Seriously, I do hope that Richard also got a cut of that! Yep, I am still reeling myself. Don’t tell Mr Guylty, or this marriage is over! However, I’d ask you all to not be judgmental about this. Not that I mind if you were judgmental to *me* about this – I used to be the same for a long time. So, serves me right. But the other fans do not deserve any derision. There is much some to be said for and about these paid photo ops and autographs, the people who provide them and the people who buy them. And I will get to that in due course. Suffice to say that, with all that queuing done, it was already time to gather in the main hall for the big event of the day – the Opening Ceremony. Were we going to get our first glimpse of Richard? 

Opening Ceremony

Remember I said it would prove useful to sign up as a volunteer at the con? Well, we realised that when we walked into the main hall for the opening ceremony. Not sure how many rows there were in total, but the first ten rows or so of the auditorium were completely occupied already, as were the last ten. No coincidence: The first few rows were reserved for Gold ticket holders! (If you were admiring those fabulous photos of Richard taken at the con – those came from Gold ticket holders who were really quite close up to him and the other guests.) Regular ticket holders had to sit at the back. There was only a small number of rows in between that still had empty seats – and they turned out to be reserved for the stewards!! So we quickly brandished our steward badges and bagged some seats half way back the auditorium. Definitely worth while volunteering – not least because it looked as if there were not enough seats for the regular ticket holders for whom extra chairs were added at the back of the hall. Anyway, this was our view:

The red and black dot on the stage is Jeremy Davies (played a character called Peter Bernadone in Hannibal). He was the first guest to be called onto the stage, and you get an idea how many people were there and how far back we were sitting – despite our privileged steward seats… After Davies, two more guests were announced, namely Aaron Abrams and Scott Thompson. They were the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern of Hannibal (playing a bit of a comedic duo, crime scene investigators Brian Zeller and Jimmy Price) and absolute fan favourites. (You may also remember Scott Thompson from the Hannibal aftershows “Post Mortem”.) I very much warmed to them, too. (More about that in a later post.)

And finally, finally… Look at the picture above again. See the screen on the right? And further right to that, the double doors? That’s where the guests were ushered in, and wow, like at every other event I have ever seen RA live at, it gave me a total jolt to the stomach when I spotted RA there, beside the stage, waiting to be called… He couldn’t help but mess around before he was introduced and made funny shadow shapes behind the screen… Don’t you just have to love him…? I really dislike the word dork, but he really is a messer! You’ve already seen some of my pictures of the event, so I’ll put a slide show in here with the whole, unedited shebang – sorry, really not great, but just for the record.

The Complete and Unedited Pictures of RA at the Opening Ceremony

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This whole solo appearance lasted for the tiny eternity of 2 minutes, btw! As the second billed guest RA received a lot of cheering and clapping – he was the eponymous Red Dragon, after all – but not as much as Mads Mikkelsen, understandably. He looked absolutely gorgeous on stage though, not least because he was casually dressed all in black with tighty black jeans, a comfy hoodie and a leather jacket. All of the guests had directed a few words at the audience, but RA really made a nice little welcome speech that seemed a bit longer. “Some of you travelled far and braved the weather, congratulations. I didn’t have to because this is my home.” etc. He also could not resist a comment about the flower crowns referring to them as “flower heads” (although one of the previous guests – Aaron? – had used the term before), no comment 😁. His toned down facial shrubbery that was more like a slightly neglected lawn of wild flowers than a full-blown hayfield, looked rather good from far away. And from closer up, even more so, I suppose…

(See the edited pics of the opening ceremony in bigger version in part 2 of my RDC5 series.)

I have to say that I thought RA looked and sounded like a complete pro in those two minutes he had on stage. His ex tempore speech was just perfect for the occasion – welcoming people, referring to the actual day (by way of weather – so English *haha*), throwing in a little personal admission (“I’m at home”) and spreading a bit of fun with his gentle teasing re. flower heads. So yeah, I thought he came across as a confident and self-assured, a bit curious and wide-eyed about the whole event he was finding himself at, but willing to go on the journey. Again, I felt as if he really set the tone there, opening up and signalling that he was here to experience this and that he was willing to have fun. Thumbs up. Finding out that his appearance on stage only lasted 2 minutes, really surprised me. At the time, it felt much longer. But yeah, maybe time stands still whenever the master himself turns up in RL *hehe*…

Anyway, RA was then followed by the star of the con, Mads Mikkelsen. Again, he also made a lovely little intro speech, and I have to say I was very much impressed by the resounding and warm applause that he was welcomed with. You could tell that the fannibals were absolutely ecstatic to have Mads at the con. They didn’t hold back, and those kind of open admissions of love and admiration were something I really, really loved seeing all through the weekend. – After Mads had been introduced, all guests returned to the stage again. As part of the whole group, Richard looked slightly shy and awkward on stage, I thought. Not quite in his element. He was definitely the tallest of all guests, yet even as it was happening and I hadn’t even yet seen any photos of the event, it occurred to me that he looked as if he wanted to blend into the background. Up to his usual modesty, I guess, he was kind of standing one step behind all the others, kind of slouching a bit, with his hands in his pockets and his head all the way down to his shoulders. I haven’t really got any pictures of my own showing all of the guests standing there on stage, but yeah, my heart broke a little bit there – whether it was for a gorgeous guy making himself small and invisible, or for a gorgeous guy being modest and humble, it definitely added to his attraction. However, it also added to the danger of succumbing to APM…

Anyway, believe it or not, it was all a good start to the whole experience. Nice fannibals, nice fellow fans, nice roomie, nice guests, nice RA. The opening ceremony was just half an hour long or so, then the guests were all whisked away and the room emptied. We were basically done for the day. For the Gold ticket holders, it was only just getting interested though: They actually had a meet & greet with the guests – which Richard apparently was a great hit at, according to the tweets that I saw. Ourselves, Kate and I kind of hung around, thinking we might have a look at the promised party. But then we both kind of folded at about 9pm and decided to go back to our hotel instead. It had been a long, exhausting day – with both of us travelling from a different country, finding our way to our hotel, meeting each other, negotiating our way around the event – and dealing with the accelerated heart rate of being in the vicinity of the OOA… No wonder we thought we needed to lie down.

In the end, we actually ended up chatting until after midnight. The amount of processing to be done when seeing RA in the flesh *haha*… And that was only after half a day of con life… We had no idea what was going to hit us the next day…

An Armitage Fan at #RDC5 – FRIDAY [part 7 of the whole saga otherwise] It's time to come to a proper run-through of last month's Red Dragon Con 5 in London.

[captaingondolin]

Other fandoms/pairings I currently like/love/want to bond over, even though this is not a multifandom blog + more comprehensive fandom list + general fic likes/favourite tropes

Alexander/Hephaistion (14 years and counting as my absolute OTP, I met my best friend @fannyinfinity through writing terrible self-insert fic about them)

Nikolai Luzhin/Kirill from Eastern Promises. Probably my most obscure fandom, as my tastes are usually quite mainstream, but I love my murderous, horrible, criminal babies with all my heart.

Hamilton (I ship Whamilton like it’s nobody’s business, and it’s one of my few fandoms where I don’t multiship much. Also I SAW IT LIVE.)

Tolkien (as you might imagine from my name, the Silmarillion is my jam, although I also love LotR and I am in love with Aragorn. Ecthelion/Glorfindel is The OTP of my life, and in the remote case that a fellow shipper is reading, PLEASE come say hi, I desperately need shipping pals)

Greek mythology - I didn’t want to like The Song of Achilles because it has a very similar concept to a fic I started writing age 14 and never completed, and I didn’t like it. I fucking loved it. I also had a phase of shipping Apollo/Dionysus real hard for some reason.

Early Modern theatre - and YES, I watched TNT’s Will and liked it, no shame, and I also saw the stage version of Shakespeare in Love which was AMAZING and also hella gayer than the film. I ship Shakespeare and Marlowe with the force of a thousand burning suns and if you ship them too you are morally obligated to come talk to me, and also if you read the Promethean Series/Stratford Man by Elizabeth Bear because OH MAN

Currently screaming in pain as I wait for the next instalment of the Gentlemen Bastards series. Why do I love that little shit Lamora so much, why? And Jean. Jean is The Best.

Arthur/Lancelot from the 2004 King Arthur Movie. I kinda had a few months of obsession and now I have a book on arthurian mythology and a trip planned to Tintagel castle and lots of tears for these two dorks, but only in this very specific film? Honestly, self.

Kingsman. KINGSMAN. Harry/Eggsy. Obviously. LANCELOT STAN. She deserved better. To give you an idea of how much I like it: when it first appeared on Netflix, my housemates thought it was a series, because I could not stop watching it and they though I was marathoning it.

Used to be in the MCU (&some comics) fandom (now I am happy to see it around my dash, but I have lost the plot, mostly), where I multiship even more than usual. As this tweet says, I’m a Tony stan first and a human being second.

Band of Brothers (Winnix Winnix Winnix)

Jesus Christ Superstar (I find the lack of good Jesus/Judas content disturbing)

The History Boys (Scripps/Posner, Dakin/Irwin)

Hannibal (the comic sans edits are my favourite things)

Legally Blonde the Musical

Saint Seiya look, we won’t get into that, but it was the fandom I was most active and productive in, one of my first and still dearly beloved. I have a laundry list of ships, an enduring love for Aphrodite, and just... so many feelings.

[victorxaxvale]

Me again 🛸, now you're re-reading Radio Silence. What-a-mood! That book fuck me so much and I think is my favorite of Alice Oseman novels (I haven't read loveless yet). Like Aled and Frances are so relatable that makes me have a crisis about my life choices (especially uni. Fuck uni). And I wanted so bad to shake Aled and shout at them for isolate themselves and ghost everyone... Because I do the same and it's horrible. But well, what're your thoughts if this book???

And yes, Eli and Victor are to idiots but you can talk hours about their fucked dynamic. I have the book full of pencil's marks screaming my thoughts about them. Also, you're making me want to re-read the books and rewatch Hannibal.

One last thing, did you like Vengeful's end?

hi again!!

Radio silence is my favorite too!! iwbft comes so close and was my favorite for a while but aled and frances are just more relatable, they mean everything to me and helped me when i needed it. it kinda just came to me at the perfect moment too, i ws 17 in my last year of hs and very confused and stressed for uni and having daniel, frances and aled end up all in different paths kinda helped a lot. i dont really remember much plot (hence the reread) but ohh the feelings are still there

AND VICTOR AND ELIIII, god my books is all annotatted and highligthed too, theres just so much to say!! and if you end up rereading i would love to hear your thoughts!!

ohhh vengeful is kinda complicated for me, like i didn't like as much as i did vicious and felt like it was lacking overall but i absolutely adored eli in it. like i already kinda liked him but vengeful just cemented the love and it just grew every time i reread vicious and now i'm completely obsessed with him and just talking to whoever will listen. so i guess you can tell i didnt like the ending jsjsjsjs i did like that syd shot him tho, but idk eli dying and vic just leaving didnt feel good. i am also rereading vengeful (for the first time ever! its so weird considering how many times i've reread vicious) so my opinions may change, or at least be more specific bc i havent touched vengeful since 2018 je

anyway aled last only character ever, the most beloved

[iesika]

In the summer of 2011, psychiatrist and FBI consultant Dr. Hannibal Lecter travels with a crack forensic team to the murder capital of America to assist the New Orleans field office in hunting a possible serial killer. But bodies aren't the most interesting thing he finds when the water starts to rise.

Or, what would have happened if Will never left Louisiana?

Chapter 11 is up!

"I guess I always thought they were like lions or something. King of the swamp. What the heck eats alligators?" Jim asks.

"Oh, lots of things. Raccoons get a lot of the eggs, herons and egrets'll get the little ones, until they get big enough to eat herons and egrets. But at that size? Turtles, maybe, and people, but mostly bigger alligators. Nothing eats more alligators than alligators."

Hannibal returns to his seat, pleased and amused by the turn the conversation has taken. "Cannibalizing one's own young isn't often a very useful survival strategy."

The look Graham gives him is hard to read.

I like alligators. A lot. And I say that as someone who almost lost a very beloved dog to a pretty savage attack (96 stitches but she survived)! Alligators are just really freaking cool.

Lets start at the beginning. About 200 million years ago the joint ancestor of dinosaurs/birds and the crocodiles split from their other reptile relatives, meaning alligators are more related to dinosaurs and birds than they are to lizards or turtles or snakes. That might seem counter-intuitive until you find out things like how gators and their cousins are the only living reptiles with four chambered hearts, which suggests they had a warm blooded ancestor. They’ve evolved a valve that allows them to switch between mixing or not mixing their oxygenated and not-oxygenated blood, which allows them to slow their metabolism for long dives. But if they need to kick over into high-octane mode, all it takes is a muscle twitch.

Alligators can swim at about 20 miles an hour, but their most impressive speed is actually on land/in the shallows, with bursts of up to 35 miles an hour. If they’re on land and in a hurry they can move at 7-12 miles an hour for several minutes at least, which is about as far as they want to get from the water anyway. They can jump straight up out of the water about half to 2/3 their body length, so a 10 foot adult can clear about 6 feet easily. On land, they can jump about 2-3 feet while lunging forward, unless they’re really big and heavy. They can make it up very steep inclines, and even climb chain link fences, like this one:

If they wanted to they could absolutely get into most boats. But they don’t want to, because they’re smart enough to be terrified of humans.

This is a crocodile jumping, but you get the idea. Basically they can fly:

Alligators are good moms! The males are assholes who will eat any babies they can find, but the moms are really cool.

They make complicated nests and tend them over more than two months, adding and removing vegetation to regulate the temperature and guarding them from predators (raccoons! Also dogs and bears, but mostly raccoons). There may be up to 90 eggs in a nest, but they all hatch at the same time, because the babies talk to each other through their eggs and coordinate their hatching time, and right before they hatch they start shouting for their mom from inside their eggs and she comes to dig them out.

After they hatch the moms will stay with the babies and protect them for at least several months and up to a full year, until it wouldn’t be safe for them to stay around her because breeding season would attract too many cannibal males to her. The dudes all show off for the ladies, who pick the one they think is hottest, do the do, and then get out of there and let the boys keep fighting over after she’s gone.

The adults make all kinds of crazy sounds, including a low bass rumble the males use to impress the ladies. How low? Low enough you can see it.

They were critically endangered in the 1970s but partnership between conservation and commercial alligator farmers completely reversed the species decline and they are back up to such safe and abundant numbers that hunting them isn’t just legal but is actually encouraged (within season and regulations, of course), and they did it while making a profit - making them one of the greatest conservation success stories of all time.

Their bite force is equivalent to dropping a pick-up truck on something, but you can hold their mouths shut with one hand. If you turn them on their backs and rub their tummies they fall asleep. They have been observed to make “hats” out of vegetation and use them to sneak up on wading birds, and even to lay traps by balancing nesting material on their noses and lying very still until some bird thinks they found the perfect reed for their house. They are, arguably, the only tool using reptile. I have personally seen one triggering a motion sensor light to attract insects, and then hunt the fish the insects attracted to the water surface. He did it for hours, and every time the light went out he went and turned it back on. Basically they are just fucking awesome.  

Also I have no idea the context of this gif but I found it while I was setting up this post and it is the most Luzianna-ass thing I have ever seen in my life. The only thing that would make it more accurate would be if she had a styrofoam bait cup full of rum in one hand. Remind me to tell y’all about the Prop Stop sometime.

[back2beesness]

A Mini-Disseration on Fanfiction

So I’ve been reflecting a lot recently about why people write fanfiction and make fanworks, and I think I’ve kinda sorted it in to a couple of categories. I’m positive I am not the first, but I still wanted to put my thoughts down somewhere.

My subcategories:

Canon was cut off abruptly

Canon is lacking something

Canon is one genre, but the core ideas would be interesting to explore in another

I know this doesn’t seem like many categories, but the more I tried to add, the more I realized they all fit somewhere under these three. I’ll start with the first one

#1. Canon was cut off abruptly.

This is a fanfiction classic. Your show was cancelled, the author of the book gave up on the series or died, there was a cliffhanger for something that was never finished, networks screwed up, so on and so forth. Often times, these works try to stay as true to canon as possible, because the core material cuts off and therefore the works are trying to fill in the missing, vitally important finale/info. (There is also an interesting subcategory of fics written following other unfinished fics. Very cool phenomenon.)

Notable fandom examples:

Unfinished book/book series (Game of Thrones, Dune, anything with a suuuper long hiatus)

Cancelled tv shows (The Society, Sanditon, I Am Not Okay With This, The Get Down, Sense8, Agent Carter, Firefly, Hannibal, Pushing Daisies, Angel)

#2. Canon is lacking something.

This category covers a variety of sins. It’s important to note that this isn’t the same as #1 because the source material has been concluded, and the body of work is finished. There can be some blurred lines, especially with shows like Sense8, where they were cancelled and then had a special to round off what was supposed to be another few seasons, or original source material where the story technically didn’t end on a cliffhanger, it just ended when there was supposed to be more originally, but primarily this is for shows/material that had the amount of run time they wanted and were purposefully ended, or at least not against the will of the creators. So, this category includes a number of the most popular branches of fanworks including the following headcanons or au’s: more LGBTQ+ characters, more characters of color, more neurodivergent or mentally ill characters, scenes that could’ve been really cool if they had been included and/or not skipped over, scenes that never happened but fans think they should have, characters meeting that never did, crossovers, alternate universes where one thing changes (ie. canon divergences), different endings/retcons (happy ending or not), explicit content, and so the list goes on. A lot of my favorite types of fanworks are included in here.

Notable fandom examples:

Any and all non-canon LGBTQ+ relationships (John/Sherlock, Dean/Cas, Rizzoli/Isles, Remus/Sirius, Harry/Draco, Stiles/Derek, Xena/Gabrielle, Poe/Finn, Steve/Bucky or Steve/Tony or literally any combination of those characters)

Most Homestuck fanfiction

Any popular canon relationship that ended (HIMYM, most of Grey’s Anatomy, all of Glee)

Any show with a horrible ending/unpopular recent episodes (Sherlock, Game of Thrones, DW, Star Wars)

Any work with a popular character that died (Torchwood, Grey’s Anatomy again, Game of Thrones again, Buffy, OITNB, The 100, The Hunger Games, the entirety of Harry Potter, TFIOS)

And, finally

#3. Canon is one genre, but the core ideas would be interesting to explore in another.

Now, once again, I feel the need to specify why this category is separate from the last. So, I think the biggest difference between categories 2 and 3, is that while #2 expresses a lack of satisfaction with the original work, #3 is all about a deep adoration and love for the content that inspires a re-make or an au with canon events most intact, if not twisted to fit the new genre. Again, I can see the lines blurring somewhat. After all, there is content that I deeply adore, yet also feel like changing certain aspects of it. And to be clear, I think you can have fics that fall into multiple categories, if not all. But this sub-characterization relates specifically to honoring and reshaping the core content and ideas of the original work without major changes to the characters or messaging. And by this I absolutely do not mean headcanons about character ethnicity, race, culture, sexuality, or gender. I am specifically referring to someone taking a character like, say Frodo in LOTR, and rewriting the story with him as a wizard. A surface level change at first, however it changes the entire foundation of his character, which is that he goes on a journey from a humble, small, overlooked character to become a hero, proving the value of the everyman, and the quiet strength of peaceful people. Now, if someone wrote a fic where Frodo was thrown into a superhero au, where one day he gets superpowers by chance, that would fall under category #3. The first example would fuel an idea of what the story would be like if Frodo was immensely powerful, while the second maintains the character’s foundation, simply placing them into a new genre or setting in which those characteristics and themes can play out. This includes au’s that maintain canon events/character backstories even in slightly modified au’s.

Notable fandom examples:

Hogwarts au’s (not HP crossovers)

Coffeshop au’s

Historical au’s

Tattoo/Bookstore/Florist au’s

*provided all these examples purposefully maintain key elements of canon*

So, what’s the point?

There isn’t really a single point, I’m an academic weirdo who likes categorizing media and understanding the impulse that drives me and so many other people to consume and create fancontent, specifically fanfic. But, what I will say is that all three categories of work fulfill some need of a fan/consumer, and they can all be incredibly cathartic and/or a continuation of a deeply beloved original work. #1 appeals to those mourning the incomplete and premature ending of a show/book that they thought had a lot of potential. #2 appeals to people mourning the incompleteness of a finished work that could’ve had a lot more potential with some minor (or major) tweaks. #3 appeals to people who are mourning the ending of something they feel has the potential to be explored more, even if it was already explored well in the first place. This is how you get people writing novel length and longer fics, because they’re driven by dissatisfaction, even if they loved whatever the work is based on. I completely understand angrily rewriting an ending or a character, incorporating personal details or making a character more similar to oneself through the inclusion of various non-canonical identities. And, by no means am I implying one category contains better works than any other, but the creators who exist within the third category truly blow my mind at times, because this is often where you get people re-writing an entire series or movie from a different characters perspective, or people who write 300,000+ word coffee shop au’s or hogwarts au’s or spy au’s. This level of dedication honestly inspires me, because to go through the effort of re-intepreting and altering slightly an original work purely out of love and with little intent to directly contradict canon requires a level of devotion I can only aspire to. 

TL;DR 

And, finally, I want to say that I see all fancontent in any of these three categories as truly beautiful, because they are expressions of the human inclination to see the best in everything, and moreover, to try and leave things better than we found them. So yeah. That’s my word vomit for the moment. Happy writing.