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#absolutely nothing sexy going on. and yet
pedroshotwifey · 19 hours
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what about a drabble about a first date with logan who's trying so so hard to have manners and be a gentleman but he's nervous and keeps messing up and its so adorable and cute????? of course reader tells him to chill out and be his normal fucking self because that's who she likes. I felt so bad for him in a clip that's circulating on tiktok where someone says to him that he's not the kind of guy they'd take home bc that's only for good guys
Okay so I loved this so much and then I got excited ab writing Logan and it turned into more of a fic than a drabble, but here it is 😭
First time writing him so I hope it sounds alright! I did use a little something from the recent movie to add a bit of oomph to the ending. Again, thank you much for this request, it's so cute 🥰
Just realized I made it an f!reader insert, but if you want to message me, I can easily switch some things around and repost if you want a diff reader!
The Right Guy
Pairing: f!reader x Logan/Wolverine
W/C: 1.1k
Fluff/diet angst, Just a few F bombs here, nothing bad (they told me absolutely no coke)
******
You scold yourself as you check the small watch on your wrist for the tenth time in ten minutes. In your defense, the time is absolutely crawling by. Logan should be here for your first date in about five minutes, and you’re nervous as hell.
You’ve been crushing on him since you were hired at the mansion a few months ago, so since he asked you out a week ago, your stomach has been constantly swarmed by butterflies. He’s sweet, funny, carefree, but mature—and not to mention sexy as hell. You really don’t want to mess this up. 
Lucky for you, it seems that he feels the same. He tends to be a little more nervous around you, his blush more prominent when you tease him. It both comforts you and gives you confidence. He seems to genuinely like you for who you are. 
Because of that, you decided to wear your favorite dress for your date. He told you he’d be taking you to a restaurant, but didn’t get specific, so it was honestly the safest choice anyway. It’s one of those that could be casual just as easily as it could be fancy. A few well-selected pieces of jewelry can make a world of difference, after all. 
You glance in the mirror, and then back at your watch. It’s right as the long hand makes a round to signify that it’s two before seven that you hear a sharp knock at your door. You jump up from your seat, slightly startled. If anyone had been in the room with you, you'd probably be embarrassed. 
Thankfully, since you’re home alone, you ignore the scare and head for your front door. You take one more deep breath and pull on the knob to reveal your handsome date. You look Logan up and down, expecting his usual outfit—blue jeans, a white shirt, and either his leather or jean jacket. What you get instead, is a suit. You have to make a physical effort to not show your confusion. Okay, maybe you expected a nicer shirt or something—ironed jeans if he really wanted to go crazy—but a suit? 
“Oh, hey!” Unfortunately, it’s a bit harder to keep the confusion out of your voice. Don’t get it wrong, it’s nice of him to try to dress up for you, and he does look very nice, but he doesn’t look like Logan. Your eyes catch on his hair—the usual tufts you love so much look to be somewhat flattened by a gel. 
It’s while you’re distracted by this that he reveals a hidden hand holding a bouquet of flowers—your favorite, actually. So why do you feel almost…disappointed? No, that can’t be it. It’s so cute that he’s putting all this effort in for you, but you really just want the normal Logan.
“Oh, wow,” you say, trying to shake off whatever this strange feeling is. “Thank you, Logan.” 
You carefully accept the flowers and step aside to let him inside while you put them in water. It’s strange that he hasn’t said anything else yet. Wait, should you say something? No, he usually says something. There’s usually a joke cracked by now. It’s weird that he’s not, right? Ugh, maybe it’s you being weird? The awkward tension between the two of you is suffocating.
You’re almost disoriented with your overthinking as you move about your kitchen, pulling down a vase to fill with tap water. Logan, of course, notices. 
He softly clears his throat. “Everything alright?”
You set the vase down on your island and look at him, lips pursed. Should you say something? Well shit, he probably sees something wrong by now—you’re staring at him like you want to say something. Damn it. 
You open your mouth and close it again. How do you even say what you want to say though? 
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” you lie. Right to his face. 
You smile and walk back to him, trying your best to ignore the expression on his face. Great, now you’re being weird, too. Why the fuck is this weird? 
You breathe out as you close and lock your door, mentally prepping yourself for what you’re really hoping will be a good date. Logan’s waiting for you next to his—
Car? 
Where the fuck is his bike? 
Whatever—it doesn’t matter, it’s fine. Everything’s fine. It’s probably just in the shop or something. 
You give him a tight-lipped smile as you walk to the vehicle, and he opens the passenger door for you. You slide into the seat and wait for him to shut the door before exhaling again. This is all very sweet, but you’ve got to say something. 
You stare at him as he gets into the driver’s seat. Again, he notices. There’s a thick, momentary silence.
“Look, bub, whatever it is, I—”
“You’re not acting like you,” you blurt. 
He stares at you for a second, but you’re pretty sure he knows exactly what you’re saying. You’re pretty sure that’s exactly what he’s trying to do. 
“Logan, you don’t have to put on this show for me,” you say as gently as you can, though it comes out maybe a tad aggravated.
He lets out a slow exhale through his nose and closes his eyes for a blink. You feel bad pointing it out, but there’s no way you can go through a whole date with this stiff act. He opens his eyes back and you offer him a sympathetic smile, your hand reaching out to cup his jaw. He leans into your touch, his own hand coming to envelop yours. 
“I want to go on a date with the Logan I already know, with his bike, and his blue jeans—you move your hand to his hair, messing it up enough to loosen the gel hold—and his crazy ass looking hair.” 
He huffs a laugh, looking at you with tired eyes. You understand how much he must have stressed over all the little details he put in for you. 
“It was very sweet of you to do all this, but you don’t need to perform for me, Lo.” 
He nods slowly, taking a moment to think over everything. “It’s been a long time since I took a chance with somebody,” he confesses, his gruff voice holding an emotion that makes your heart ache for him. “I wanted to be the right guy for you.” 
Your stomach flips. “Logan, you are the right guy for me. You’re always the right guy.” 
Before he can say anything else, you lean forward and plant a kiss on his lips. Surprise halts him for a second, but he’s quick after to reciprocate, his lips moving slowly but passionately with yours. One of his large hands snakes behind you to cup the back of your neck, the other gently tilting your chin. 
You kiss until you’re out of breath, and when you pull away, you let out an airy laugh. Despite the suit, he looks like your Logan again. Wild hair, wild eyes, pink in his cheeks. 
“C’mon, Romeo,” you tease. “Let’s get that damn jacket off and order a pizza and beer.” 
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blueishspace · 2 days
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Looped Sun 15
Loop #451
Mumbo wasn't sure about trying out Double Life, especially in a null loop like this one...but Grian had asked and he wasn't able to say no. So there he was, ready to see how this would go down.
TangoTek was blown up by a creeper.
Solidaritygaming died.
Mumbo didn't expect Tango to die the same way so he had to assume they were unawake this time around. It had been a while since they looped together now that he tought about it. Oh well.
Skizz: Hey man!
Mumbo: O-oh! You are here too?
Skizz: Sure thing!
Mumbo: O-oh...have you found your soulmate yet mate?
Skizz: No, have you?
Mumbo: ... Not really. Do you think...?
Skizz: No hurt in checking! Come on dude, punch me!
Mumbo: Oh pants! Uh... here you go?
Turns out they were soulmates, guess it made sense since the other pairs seemed to be the same.
Mumbo: I see skeletons!
Skizz: I'm on them!
Mumbo: Try not to die please?
Skizz: What's up!? What's up!?
Mumbo: O-oh I'll help!! Wait for me!
Well, they didn't win...not that he expected them to. It was lots of fun though.
Loop #453
Pearl had loved her first Avatar the last airbender loop, Katara had been a great teacher and she still used waterbending often... She didn't like this specific Avatar loop though, mostly because she was stuck as a fish.She got it of course, moon spirit, PearleascentMoon, sge wasn't stupid... but still being a fish in small small pond while swimming in literal circles is mind numbing.
Then of course came the general who tried to kill her, which was rude by the way, and she had to deal with him...fortunately chaos magic still worked as a fish.
Loop #457
Grian: And that's Uno.
Jimmy: No! No! You can't let him win.
Tango: I got nothing...
Mumbo: M-me neither. Scott?
Scott: ...Pearl? ... I'm sorry, +4.
Pearl: Don't worry mate, I got you. +4.
Grian: What!? Noo! Pearl why!?!
Jimmy: And It's my turn!
Grian: Ok, what if we traded?
Pearl: Go on.
Grian: I'll give you one of the red properties so you can get the monopoly if you give me that one.
Pearl: So you can get a monopoly too?
Grian: It's a win-win.
Pearl: ... Sure. Here you go.
Grian: I hate this. I hate life.
Mumbo: O-oh!
Scott: Look at the bright side.
Grian: What bright side?
Scott: Jimmy is sucking so bad.
Grian: You what, you are right. The game of life is my favorite now.
Jimmy: Wha- hey.
Tango: I mea ... He's not lyificating.
Jimmy: Rancher, you too? Betrayal!
Mumbo: Oh ...ok... Before blank all we had was blank.
Pearl: Ooh a double.
Scott: I have an idea but I also hate it.
Jimmy: I ...don't like this game...
Tango: Well, here goes nothing.
Mumbo: Ok let's see... Before s-sexy pillow fights all we had was gladiator fights? I don't get it...
Pearl: Yeah that was just boring.
Grian: Listen, I had 0. Absolutely 0 good cards.
Jimmy: I like this one a lot better.
Grian: Timmy ... Timmy this is not a game, It's Mumbo's tarot card.
Jimmy: I stand with what I said. So what did I get?
Mumbo: Oh! That's the... that's the fool.
Jimmy: Nice! ... What does it mean?
Mumbo: Youth... and luck...it depends.
Loop #459 (part 1)
Jimmy: Uh, were are we?
Tango: It looks like a dungeon entrance?
Jimmy: Well, I got that.
Scott: Oh fuck I know what loop this is. This is bad.
Tango: You do?
Scott: This is fear and hunger.
Jimmy: ... Oh...I heard about it. The very non pg one?
Tango: Are the two of you going to share.
Scott: This... We can do this, It's not a null loop or anything. It should be doable.
Scott: It's...really dark. Darker then the game.
Tango: I can have my flame hair on, it might help.
Jimmy: Or I could do the sun incantation? Make my hair glow.
Scott: No, no. You need to sing for it to work, we can't risk your throat getting tired too early on.
Jimmy: ...Alright.
Tango: Aren't you like a god of order Scott? Can't you do anything to help?
Scott: Not really, my divinity here is really diminished for some reason. Probably the influence of the old gods.
Jimmy: Wait I hear a voice!
Tango: Uh!? Where!?
Jimmy: It's...
Jimmy enveloped himself with a thin layer of Listener magic.
Jimmy: That way!
Tango: What-
Scott: Since when are you a Listener?
Jimmy: Pretty early on in my loops, it happens sometimes. Oh, I hear it again. It sounds young!
Tango: A door?
Jimmy: We obviously need to get to other side!
Scott: Let me try something.
And in a flash of blue Scott is gone... A few seconds later the door opens with Scott behind it.
Scott: The tesseract still works.
Jimmy: Is that a little girl?
Tango: Why is she in a cage? Scott?
Scott: ... It's complicated...just help me get her out.
Tango: The cage doesn't look too hard to breakificate. Just pull a bit and uh... It's harder then it looks. I'm going to melt it-
Scott: And risk molten metal getting on the girl?
Tango: Point... I'll just use an axe.
Jimmy: Hello there! Who are you?
Girl: ...
Jimmy: Right uh... I'll introduce myself first if you want.
Girl: ...
Jimmy: Right, I'm Jimmy, that's Tango and that is Scott.
Girl: ...
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nikomedes · 9 months
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i have before described shrike as having young uncle energy. ten cool facts about wolf spiders energy. but the unfortunate thing is that goes hand in hand with him being sexy in a very specific kind of way, where its like
you know how you can generally find someone cool or pleasant but physically unremarkable, but then they do smth and ur brain short circuits? the classic is the “reaches for something on a high shelf and some belly shows” but strong contenders are also “stretches and the way their shoulders move is A Lot” or the one that happened to me personally, “navigated around me in a cramped kitchen with such total awareness of their body and mine my brain skipped like vinyl.” the sexy physicality that has nothing to do with how they look and everything to do with how they move in their skin
thats the way shrike is sexy. like he has great tits and his jawline is nice, but in a world of fantasy hunks thats whatever. but i described him in “feeding on fever” as “not body-proud, but body-easy,” and i meant that. voted top ten guys who can wind up a coil of rope as the party breaks camp in a way that leaves everybody breathless. and he’s totally oblivious to it. he couldnt and wouldnt ever try to be enticing on purpose and thats what makes the sheer seductive energy of him sitting in a chair galling
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airbenderedacted · 2 years
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What was the beta s2 villain design? I haven’t heard or seen abt that one n im curious
,,,,Bombshell my bbygirl,.
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#she is So fucking cute & as a standalone design i love her but#for WOYS2's main villain.. for WOY's MAIN CAST........ bro absolutely not this is literally just 'hrjfdf woman hot' villan and nothing else#swapping this out for manic hot topic gremlin bastard lesbian was where they struck gold like. ty god hrjbhsdjgfbng#not that the way they used dominator was /perfect/ by any means#bc believe you me there's a few things in the show that were ehghhghhh at best & stuff from the crew that pisst me AWFF at worst but#overall dom was really solid. the purpose her character served and the writing & character building choices for her were all *chef's kiss*#there was a lot about her whole vibe that was communicated REALLY WELL through her design alone imo#(and a lot about her personality and motivations that you could gleam from JUST her first out-of-suit appearance on its own#i just really wish they'd given WAY fewer fucks about her being pewtty or conventionally attractive or Whatever bRO IT'S HOLDING YOU BACK!!#i dont think Any of that stuff was prioritized when brainstorming for bombshell here 😭 maybe they hadn't fleshed out those ideas yet#bc with Bombshell? the only things her design communicate are that she's hot & apparently that's Important + she has a bug theme going on#& i GUESS that she's ostentatious & goes for v loud clothing. those pauldrons command a room#so you can get ''commandeering'' and MAYBE even ''powerful'' from that#but for a MAIN VILLAIN meant to majorly challenge the main cast & shake up the show‚ THat is extremely milquetoast!!!!!!#again there's rlly nothing here to take away from her design overall other than that she's sexy. why define her that way for being a her#it's such a big ''nah man''#it's tired it's been done to death#the read you get on her from Overall Vibes alone are very bland!!!#i have to wonder at what point they really started to get the ball rolling in the right direction w/ their S2 big bad to end up w dominator#wondering if maybe it was when they figured they should make her a punk to contrast wander being a hippie?#do you think maybe they just got input from women#grateful every day for the absolute bastard supreme we ended up with#finalhaunts
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thetardigrape · 1 year
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I wanna take a minute to talk about the Looks of the entire cast of OFMD S2.
I think we're all pretty familiar with the male gaze. Lots of skin, tits and ass, that sort of thing.
The female gaze has been debated, but it looks something like a sexy college professor or himbo househusband.
What OFMD S2 absolutely nails is the queer gaze.
Look at this man.
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An absolutely beautiful man. Who wears crop tops and leather pants. Long hair up in a messy bun. He's wearing eyeliner. And pearls.
And here.
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Drawn on facial hair. Spaulders. Bracers. Fishnet sleeves. A MOTHERFUCKING MULLET.
These badasses.
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The teeth and chains. SO MUCH MAKEUP. Big fancy coat with nothing underneath. Glam met goth and fucked out these looks.
And THE SWEDE!
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Cropped jacket. Ponytail. Asymmetrical button fly. Decorative chains (again).
All of this screams queer. If I saw any of these people in a bar I'd be like "Yep, one of us." The gender fuckery of it all. The feminine and the masculine all thrown in together in perfect combinations. Decoration for its own sake. Jewelry and flashy adornment and gorgeous peacockery.
And we love it. The fandom is going absolutely feral over these looks, these actors, as we very well should. There is not a single member of this cast who has not had beautiful art lovingly made depicting them.
Fuck the male gaze, fuck the female gaze. Give me the queer gaze. Give me queer creators making queer media for queer audiences and absolutely nailing it. These people are not at all what Hollywood usually thinks sexy looks like, yet we want to devour every one of them. This is what queer beauty looks like. What queer sex appeal looks like. What queer desire looks like.
Fuck yes. It's about time.
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dmitriene · 3 months
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cw: mentions of stalking, breeding king, possible kidnapping.
könig is your stalker, and not that you even know that you have one, especially not knowing that it's him, an weird, but absolutely charming man that flirts with you unabashedly, and so foolishly, yet you can't deny that he's adorable.
you can see that he's nervous, maybe not really on his plate in this buzzing, crowdy pub, but he buries it all in advance to stick up to you, acting slightly cocky when he gives you an awkward compliments and flexes his meaty biceps, asking if you find military guys sexy.
könig knows the answer beforehand, trained himself with down written dialogues on a paper in his apartment after he stalked on you, knowing what you like, what your interests are, how often you go outside and where he can find you, hell, he even knows what shade of underwear you wear right now.
and you know nothing about it, completely oblivious, letting him lure you with some silly sweet talk and fleeting touches to your knee and hand, a brush of his calloused fingers that previously were fiddling with themselves, now founding their way to your supple thigh.
you don't know anything about about him despite his name, not even könig's intentions, yet opting to end up this evening sprawled beneath him completely intoxicated and bare, all the clothes long shed off and laying haphazardly on the floor of his apartment.
könig got you exactly where he dreamed, stretched around his fat cock that he bullies in your sopping cunt, pounding mercilessly against your spongy spot, thick cockhead cramming itself in your hole and you almost feel his stupid length in your throat.
he turns you stupid for him, completely brainless, able only to sob sweetly and mewl each time his cock throbs and moves in the confiness of your velvety, clutching walls, not registering his possessive huffs, nastily growled words of how long he waited for you, so he could keep you all to himself and breed you.
and you don't push away nor kick when könig pumps you full of his potent cum, lots of milky and thick seed that floods your pussy until it leaks out in a globs, creating a puddle on the sweaty sheets, just relishing in the way his girth throbs and the warmth envelops you, as his thumb traces along your tummy.
it's only normal when you wake up in the morning still in his apartment, body aching and feeling numb from amount of the teeth shaped marks you have on your flesh, gladly cleaned up, with your pussy swollen and still throbbing, but the weight of the leather around your neck does feel weird.
main masterlist. quidelines.
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astonmartinii · 11 months
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big reputation | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x fem reader
they may have a big reputation and they may be end game, but sometimes you need a push from your girlfriend to enter your reputation era
(also no hate to vasseur and sainz, it's just the way the fic had to go)
MASTERLIST | TIPS
f1newsandgossip
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liked by user1, user2 and 13,209 others
f1newsandgossip: after ferrari's continued chaos and inability to get anything right it seems, do you think charles leclerc will stick around and renew his contract?
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user3: i love him and i love ferrari but if he wants any shot of winning a championship he has to leave
user4: i would die to see him at red bull or even mercedes
user5: would he want to be a second driver though?
user4: babes they treat him like he's the second driver at ferrari at least there he'd have a competent car and team
user6: yes ! he has to leave, no one at that team respects him anymore
user7: he should've left a long time ago but this season has to be the final nail in the coffin
user8: all he does it protect ferrari and ferrari don't even give a shit about him it's actually sad
user9: they don't even protect him from his teammate and his teammate's parents being rude about him in the media
user10: for real the man needs to stop being a team player and tell him how it is
user11: i feel so so bad for him because his childhood dream is turning into a nightmare and through no fault of his own
user12: i know y/n is absolutely seething and the only reason she hasn't said anything yet is because charles is so in love with the team that he won't say anything bad about them
user13: i need her to give him a lil slap around to get his head in gear
yourusername
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liked by alexalbon, charles_leclerc and 1,309,556 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: you and me got a big reputation
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user14: me being delusional: OMG THIS MEANS CHARLES IS FINALLY ENTERING HIS REPUTATION ERA
user15: and then we remember rep is an album about love first and revenge second :(
charles_leclerc: is this a taylor swift reference?
yourusername: yes it is !! i knew you were actually listening when i gave you the full eras breakdown
charles_leclerc: i'd listen to you talk about anything
yourusername: even the things you don't want to hear?
charles_leclerc: i think it has gotten to that point, yes.
user16: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN ^^ ???
alexalbon: when will i be freed from the shackles of having to take cute photos of you two
yourusername: NEVER
charles_leclerc: is a seat on my jet not enough?
alexalbon: YOUR JET? i have clearly missed something here
maxverstappen1: alex is always free to fly air max (MY jet, factually)
yourusername: when did this become a dick measuring contest? (charles would win, you can all go home)
maxverstappen1: i don't want you to see my dick
charles_leclerc: i should think not verstappen
alexalbon: i don't know how i hang out with you morons
user17: gosh y/n is so sexy
user18: i am allowing myself to live in delusion and after the shitshow that was austin, y/n is initiating the reputation era and charles will either give ferrari hell or actually leave
user19: idk that man might be completely in love with y/n but he's even more in love with ferrari
charles_leclerc: nothing compares to her
user20: WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?
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charles_leclerc
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liked by georgerussell63, yourusername and 1,204,509 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: hola mexico! can't wait for the weekend to start
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user22: post your team or car? no. post a random picture of your girlfriend? yes.
user23: he should post an explanation as to why his gf was being wined and dined by christian horner
yourusername: ZOOWEE MAMA
charles_leclerc: excuse me?
yourusername: instagram would ban me if i really said what i think
charles_leclerc: oh i'm blushing
yourusername: but always above all you are a cutie patootie
user24: i see posts like this and i wonder why do they always have break up rumours if they are this in love?
user19: bestie we simply cannot be believing everything we read, especially when it comes from a certain spanish paper
liked by yourusername
user24: wait what is this supposed to mean?
user19: any "insider source" at ferrari that has anti-leclerc info is usually the sainz family lol that's why other than ferrari being clowns in general charles needs to get the fuck out
pierregasly: rivalling me with just how much you post y/n
charles_leclerc: ummmm you've met her, and you wouldn't?
charles_leclerc: WAIT don't answer that
user25: so are we just ignoring that y/n was at dinner with CHRISTIAN HORNER?
user26: the red bull!charles dream a bit more feasible now and i am appropriately feral
user27: obsessed with how he's just ignoring the horner thing
user28: i am similarly obsessed with how the media are spinning this to an affair between y/n and horner LMAO
yourusername: he made us split the bill after ordering a really spenny wine :/
user29: I'M CRYING
user30: horner's like if i don't get a driver out of this dinner i will be having a nice glass of wine he's so real for that
scuderiaferrari: let's get it 💪
user31: GET A JOB. LEAVE HER ALONE
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user32: lol she's so tired of being subtle
user33: TELL THEM SIS
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f1
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liked by yourusername, redbullracing and 1,450,667 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
f1: BREAKING: charles leclerc signs for red bull racing for 2024 on a four year contract
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user36: they're MUGGY for the first picture omg
user37: SOMEONE CALL THE EMERGENCY SERVICES FOR ME I CAN'T BREATHE
user38: wait so like who do i have to thank for finally making this happen?
user39: this has y/n y/ln written all over it - the dinner with horner finally makes sense
pierregasly: WHAT ?????????
user40: HE'S FINDING OUT AT THE SAME TIME AS US? DID ANYONE KNOW?
user41: THERE WILL BE NO EXPLANATION JUST REPUTATION
liked by yourusername
user42: okay since y/n and charles have referenced the reputation album so much during this whole fiasco .... taylor swift x charles leclerc piano ballad collab when?
user43: so this is il predestinato who has betrayed his team and completely blindsided him? this is why carlos has always been the superior driver
liked by carlossainz55
user44: not carlos liking this comment
yourusername: i wish he would say something with his chest, always hiding behind his parents and the spanish media ... yeah we know about that and we're no longer under that stupid contract so i can and will say this all to your face
user45: HOLY SHITTTTTTTTTT
carlossainz55: you got the move and attention you wanted stop trying to drag me into it
yourusername: babe there's a difference between you and i, you create fake cheating rumours to try and shake your teammate while your PR team is fulltime constantly having to threaten legal action over you not being able to keep it in your pants
user46: ERM QUEEN THEY STILL HAVE RACES TOGETHER
redbullracing: anyways.... WELCOME TO THE TEAM CHARLES
user47: admin what is going on?
redbullracing: i have no clue but as soon as that man is in a navy race suit i will get the tea trust
user48: so real of you
maxverstappen1: ☕️
user49: LMAO KING
yourusername: i have a feeling we might get on (no more inchidents though)
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yourusername
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liked by danielricciardo, charles_leclerc and 1,344,099 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: they said i did something bad, why does it feel so good?
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user51: momma does not play oh my
taylorswift: proud 🖤 🐍
yourusername: approved by our lord and saviour, thanks mother
charles_leclerc: do you need a pianist?
taylorswift: i'm sure we can work something out
landonorris: ^^ this is so unfair i thought i was the swiftie on the grid :(
danielricciardo: my rendition of our song says otherwise
user52: she really said FUCK FERRARI AND FUCK YOU TOO
user53: as she should
charles_leclerc: i'm not a playboy but i do LOVE YOU
yourusername: i love you even more
charles_leclerc: NUH UH I LOVE YOU MORE
yourusername: i would literally fight every person on earth for your hand
charles_leclerc: oh wow ... mark me scared AND horny
alexalbon: okay that's ENOUGH
user54: i'm so glad she shook him out of the ferrari daze he. might finally have a chance at the championship now
user55: i'd be afraid that ferrari may build a good car next year but then i remember it's ferrari LOL
user56: so y/n mentioned under the f1 post about a contract? was she not able to say anything about ferrari while with charles?
yourusername: yes. i was not able to say anything they considered negative. many times when i expressed disappointment in how charlie has been treated i was reprimanded by ferrari and was banned from the paddock for weekends following any statements
user57: wtf that is crazy ??? makes sense as to why charles always blames himself when it was clearly a pit/strategy issue
yourusername: ferrari have attempted to keep charlie under wraps since his second season at the team. they were worried about him becoming outspoken like seb. this goes all the way down to his music which they tried to prevent him from releasing. i'm glad he'll be given the chance to show his talents next season
user58: thank the lord charles finally left. this is insane. the reputation era was well and truly needed.
maxverstappen1: kelly wants to know whether now you'll be wag teammates that you can raid each other's wardrobes?
yourusername: of course !!! i can't wait to see her more often coffee dates are a must ( + p of course)
charles_leclerc: i'm gonna beat your ass at padel i WILL be the padel king at red bull
maxverstappen1: i will show NO MERCY
yourusername: maybe this was a bad idea ...
charles_leclerc
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liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,332,909 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: it saddens me to my core to be leaving the team i always dreamed of racing for and winning with, but there comes a point in your career when it's time to put your ambitions above tradition. ferrari has always been the dream for me, but the last couple of years have been a nightmare. i never thought i'd be put in a position where i'd have feelings like these about the team i love, but the constant disrespect, betrayal and the treatment of my loved ones leaves me no other choice. despite this sad ending, i am looking forward to new opportunities at red bull, racing alongside an old friend and under a competent leadership. finally, thank you to y/n and my family for being there for me during this time despite the way we were all treated. i know i will get questions, but there will be no explanation, just reputation.
view all comments
user59: he really left comments open so we could drag ferrari
user60: and drag i shall do... that man despite the absolute tomfoolery got that shitbox on the podium and NONE OF YOU SHOWED UP
user61: for real, they're out here trying to show charles as petty but then KEEP PROVING HIS POINT LOL
yourusername: i am so unbelievably proud of you. i know this was a hard choice but it's the one you had to make. today and every other day i will always be there to support you even if no one else is
user62: subtle DRAG
charles_leclerc: i love you to the moon and to saturn
yourusername: you're my invisible string
yourusername: also this is what i mean when i say reputation is a love story with a side of shade
user63: i know binotto let out a sigh of relief that he dodged this shit storm
yourusername: that fraud is SO lucky i was under contract while he was there otherwise i'd drag his ass so bad he'd be bald
charles_leclerc: i don't know how he made it out of silverstone alive after the whole finger wagging saga, i had to hold her back
sebastianvettel: i hate to say i told you so .....
charles_leclerc: SEB ????? BUT I'M DOING IT NOW, I'M NOT WASTING IT (tell christian to give me the better strategies i know you're still the o.g golden boy)
maxverstappen1: you know i can see this right?
christianhorner: and me?
charles_leclerc: @yourusername baby please take the fall for me
yourusername: I COMMENTED THAT
maxverstappen1: you guys really aren't slick... you're lucky i already love you two
christianhorner: i feel like i need to brief PR already
yourusername: if it makes it any better i'm a great baker and very generous
redbullracing: WE'LL TAKE IT
user64: @netflix make sure there's a camera in that garage at ALL TIMES
pierregasly: proud of you calmar, i hope this works out better for you than it did for me
yourusername: NO ROOM FOR PITY PARTY HERE SIR
yourusername: wait that was rude, we love you pierre
charles_leclerc: thank you pierre
pierregasly: ummmmmm tell y/n she can't say that ???
charles_leclerc: she made me see the light kinda owe her everything rn, so sorry?
christianhorner: definitely brief PR
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note: teehee here it is. MY GOD my writing block has been insane - i also went on a trip to london and got horrendously drunk and made AWFUL decisions. alas, i hope you guys enjoy this and the race later !!
EDIT: I AM SO FUCKING ANNOYED AT THIS RACE ONE DAY WHERE CHARLES IS NOT FUVKED OVER IS ALL I ASK WHAT DID HE DO TO DESERVE THIS
5K notes · View notes
suiana · 4 months
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(yandere! ghost husband x gn! reader)
In many asian cultures,
it is taught to people to not touch any offerings or money that is left on the ground.
For if you do so,
you shall be married to a dead person.
however, you chose not to heed these warnings and picked up a heavy wad of cash that was left on the sidewalk of a forest.
you picked it up, happily thinking it was just some rich guy who dropped his money while on a nature walk, that you got lucky enough to stumble upon his secret stash.
so you brought it home with you, thinking of all the wonderful things you'd buy with this newfound money you got.
unfortunately, that was just the start of many unexplainable things that begun to happen to you.
"dude can you not close my door?! I'm trying to go on a date!"
you yell at the air, staring at your door which suddenly slammed shut. it had been a few weeks since these events had started occuring. and events as in, random paranormal events. yes, paranormal.
it all started when you found that thick wad of cash on the sidewalk of some asian country and brought it back home with you. you thought you were lucky to have stumbled upon such treasure. like, holy shit that's a few hundred thousand of dollars!
yet the second you stepped foot inside your house, chills ran down your spine and you couldn't help but feel absolutely scared to enter your home.
but you simply shrugged it off, thinking you were just overthinking and worrying over nothing. must be the scary asian ghost stories you heard.
you should've went to the exorcist the second you felt that gut instinct though.
because as the days went by, your lights started turning in and off by itself, your house would be cleaned meticulously even when it looked like a fucking dumpsite a few hours before, and more importantly, you'd start hearing voices of a man who claimed to be 'your husband'.
at first you wondered if you were schizophrenic. holy shit, were you hallucinating right now? why the hell was there this attractive voice that kept on talking to you from time to time?
but it wasn't you being schizophrenic, unfortunately.
for what you were experiencing was very much real. there was now a ghost in your house, or rather around you, that would not leave no matter how hard you tried.
and you came to live with it, until today.
why? because you were about to go on a date with this super sexy guy but then this... this ghost husband wouldn't let you!
freaking slammed the door when you tried leaving! like who even does that?!
"ugh, you're being unreasonable!"
you yell at the air, glaring angrily as you place your hands on your hips. you didn't know where this ghost husband of yours was, but you did know he was near you. i mean, the temperature drop was a clear sign that he was.
"me? unreasonable?"
ah, there he was.
you turn around to face the aur, glaring angrily as you feel your skin prickling. his voice came from behind you and he was whispering into your ear. he always likes to do that, you noticed. speaking from behind.
"yeah, you! dude i just want to get laid!"
you reply in irritation, hands on your hips as you shake your head. you wait for his reply, pursuing your lips angrily before shrieking as you feel him blow cold air against your nape.
"but you have me, don't you?"
"well I don't want you! I didn't know you'd come together with the money! and I can't even use the money..."
you mumble off, shivering slightly as you continue to glare at the air. god damn it, so much talk about being your husband and you don't even know how he looks like! heck, you can't even see him!
"I don't even know how you look like! how could you prevent me from going on a date with this sexy guy-"
in the middle of your complaint, you suddenly yelp as an attractive male, albeit a translucent one, stares right at you, an unamused face as he looks you down.
"well you can see me now."
he mumbles, arms folded across his chest as he glares back at you.
your mouth is dry, cheeks slightly pink as you stare at the man. holy moly! you have a hot husband?!
"holy cow! you're hot?"
"what's that supposed to mean?"
you stare at the male, jaw dropping before you slap your face and look him up and down. he was clad in a traditional outfit, looking expensive and absolutely drop dead gorgeous- well he's dead but... gorgeous!
"damn okay, I won't go on that date..."
you drool slightly, moving away from your door as you continue staring at your ghost husband dumbly, giggling as you walk past him onto the couch.
"of course you won't. you're already married to me."
your husband follows after you, a cold aura following him wherever he went, chilling the area. thankfully the heat in your body helped to warm you up.
"why didn't you show me your face earlier? you're so sexy..."
"well you never asked."
he shrugs before floating over to you and resting his head in your lap. his eyes look into yours, a lovesick expression in his eyes as he traces his translucent hand into your skin, making the area tingle slightly.
you stare down at him, pursing your lips before giggling stupidly and blushing. damn, you really did have a hot husband. even though he's dead, he's still your husband! you only wish he was alive... then maybe you two could get dirty and-
"you know i can still pleasure you right?"
the ghost suddenly deadpans, looking right at you as though he had read your thoughts. you blink at him, not registering his words before you suddenly choke on air and look away.
"oh, are you choking? don't die yet... i like your body heat."
your husband suddenly moves away from your lap, getting up to pat your back in a pitiful attempt to relieve you from your choking fit. all you felt while you coughed was the tingling sensation of cold hands.
"damn you can't just say stuff like that-"
"but you were thinking about it, no? i can hear your thoughts, you know."
you proceed to choke on air again, having yet another coughing fit as your ghost husband continues to pat your back with his cold ghostly hands.
"oh my god just kill me now... this is so embarrassing-"
"no, i already said i like your body heat and you can't die yet."
you immediately shut up, staring at the ghostly male with dead eyes.
before you know it, you're walking to your kitchen to grab a knife to kill youself just to spite him. but of course, you were stopped by your husband who immediately wrestles the knife away from you, smacking your head painfully hard before dragging you back to the couch where he begins to suck your warmth away like a leech.
damn him, maybe you should get an exorcist.
"you know i can hear your thoughts right? you're not getting rid of me."
damn him, you really are going to get an exorcist.
"what? darling i just said no!"
you're getting an exorcist.
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kurooh · 6 days
Note
Hi hi!
Jumping on the brainrot train yet again. I was thinkin'...what would be the MHA boys reaction when you surprises them with a sexy version of their costume.
I think some of them might go feral 😈
🐰
OH MY GODDD WHAT IS UR BRAIN MADE OF
izuku can’t form a coherent sentence, stuttering and flushing more at the sight of you, yet he can’t stop sneaking glances when he tries to look away. “b-baby! uh, you look really really good! not just good, you look so sexy— i mean—okay! wow, it’s really hot in here isn’t it? i swear it’s because of you—” giggling, you put him out of his misery by giving him a kiss.
katsuki’s affronted, or he at least pretends to be. you’re half naked, the costume hanging off your hips and chest, begging to be ripped off. now, he doesn’t want to reveal just how flustered he is, so he critiques every part of your costume, no matter how ridiculous it is. “see, look at that. this would’ve been a great knockoff costume if the headpieces were painted right. oh, and look at that shit right there! the manufacturer didn’t even make the panti— the shorts loose enough to replicate the real thing.” “it’s supposed to be tight on my ass, kat.” eventually he shuts up and just tears the costume off you, and absolutely will not address his fake criticism from earlier.
shoto’s pleasantly surprised to see you wearing his costume, shamelessly looking over the way the tight suit hugs the slopes and curves of your body. “my costume looks great on you. we could dress up together for halloween, hm?” knowing him, the costume won’t last until then lmaooo (he’s a real freak)
eijirou grabs your hands and jumps up and down. he’s so excited to see you wearing his costume, and he honestly feels like you’re a better looking red riot than he is. “YAY babe!! you look so beautiful, oh my god! you’re wearing it better than me, mrs red riot.” he smothers your face in kisses and works his way down your body, fighting every urge to rip the costume off you.
denki walks into the room and takes one wide eyed, slack jawed look at you in his costume. “i’m hard.” “denki! what do you think of it??” “i just said i’m hard!” “that’s not enough of an answer!” “babeeee! you KNOW how sexy you are.” “how sexy?” you’d ask cheekily, spinning to show him the backside of the costume, which leaves almost nothing to the imagination. “i’m going full chargebolt on you baby.” “what.” “spread your legs right now,” and then when he sees the disbelief and shock on your face he wiggles his eyebrows at you. “you heard me babe.”
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makelemonade · 10 months
Text
BEST FRIENDS TO FUCK FRIENDS - GENSHIN MEN
Warnings; NSFW, (18+), Female Reader, implied to have a big chest (not crazy big like be realistic) and a GYATT (sorry), p in v sex, seductiveness, implied squiring, a little sprinkle of degradation (use of the word “slut”), Semi-Public, unwanted pics (He wanted them), mentions of jerking off/masturbation, sinful thoughts of your best friend, raw sex, idk tell me if I missed anything, HORRIBLY WRITTEN SMUT. ITS SO BAD.
Notes; I was supposed to write this for Thoma originally so if this name is somewhere in here…ignore it. If you like this, support me on kofi! Link in masterlist!
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You’ve been his best friend since secondary school, and you couldn’t deny the feelings you had for him within high school.
You always denied it though, because you just couldn’t ruin the friendship. But, now you’re both in university, stuff changes and you definitely grew some stuff..
Your feelings for him turn into sexual desires when you realize it’s been a long time since you’ve done anything. You’ve been so occupied with university that you couldn’t even spend some time on yourself…
What sets everything off is when he invites you to his house in the spring to swim. Seeing those abs and the water dripping off his chest…holy shit. Is it bad you wanted to lick all that water off or?
You bring up the topic of friends with benefits, but not between you two (yet), just what he thinks of it.
When he isn’t opposed to one with a friend, that’s what changes your mindset completely. You knew he wasn’t the best at making those type of moves, but with your assets…
It starts a week later when you ask to sleepover at his house after a party. He agrees.
This is gonna sound crazy, but you purposely puked over yourself by drinking too much so he could give you his shirt. You decided, that not wearing any shorts was now your way of sleeping!
So, here you were in his room, in his shirt, black underwear that was hardly covered, and a bed for the both of you to share.
He gulped, lingering for a while but said nothing and just got into bed. He was gonna think about your ass for a while.
You got in beside him, and maybe an hour later if he’s asleep and you’re not, you’ll secretly inch yourself closer to him, so when he wakes up and finds your hardly covered ass rubbing against him, he’ll have to go to the bathroom.
What sets him off completely is in the morning when you stretch, your arms going up and exposing your bare legs and stomach. He couldn’t stop staring.
The next step isn’t too far away; Maybe 2 weeks later. He invited you to come for a swim again, and this one was a hard decision between a bikini or a horribly fabricated shirt that exposed everything.
You decided to go for a bikini that didn’t have the best fabric, so when it got wet…
“A bikini?” He spoke. “What happened to your shorts and shirts?” You usually never went with bikinis, if it wasn’t obvious already.
You shrugged. “Change of habit.”
The cold water made your nipples pop, going through the fabric completely. Did I mention the bikini was also white?
This, is what gets him thinking about you a lot from now on.
Later in the week you’re FaceTiming him, and he noticed the change in clothes. You’re wearing a dress from HIGH SCHOOL. It was so small that the side of your breasts were out.
He had no shame in hiding the fact he was staring at them the entire FaceTime.
In the middle of taking, you pretended to drop your phone by your leg, but he didn’t expect that when you’d pick it up, he’d catch a glimpse of his favourite colour as your tight panties before you quickly moved the phone back up.
He has to hang up 5 minutes later.
Now, your next idea is gonna sound absolutely horrible.
You took pictures of yourself, none of you naked but had a sexy lingerie set in his favourite colour and sent them to him on Messages
And 2 seconds later you’re spamming him on Snapchat,
DON’T OPEN MY IMESSAGE
IGNORE IT
I DIDN’T MEAN TO SEND IT TO YOU.
Now, he’s curious, so of course he tells you he won’t look and says he’ll delete the chat.
But really he’ll save them to his phone and definitely jerk off to them.
Now, the next step is the final step, and takes the most courage.
You invite him out to the club, wearing a sexy right black dress that showed your curves perfectly.
Since this was gonna take up a lot of courage, you took maximum 2 shots to get your mindset a little changed for this.
He takes the same amount you do, and you’ve both been to multiple parties where you’ve gotten blackout drunk; 2 shots would make sure you’d remember everything.
When the both of you make your way to the dance floor, you’re shaking, but you keep telling yourself you can do this.
The next song plays and you’re both dancing together,
And the next thing he knew, you’ve turned around and you’re grinding your ass right on his pelvis. He freezes for a bit, and you’re scared; Have you gone too far?
But suddenly, his hands are on your hips and he’s moving the two of you to the rhythm, keeping your ass pressed against him.
You dance like this for another minute or 2 and then he moves his arms up around your waist, pulling your back against his chest as he starts to kiss your neck, sucking on it.
You let out moans, wishing he could hear them.
One hand makes its way up to grope your tit, he could already feel your nipple with how tight your dress was. “No bra?” He spoke into your ear so seductively, making you whimper.
He then grab your arms, dragging you to the washroom.
~~~
The small washroom mirror is steamed as your pressed against it, sat atop the sink, the both of you sloppily making out as his dick pushed in and out of of your cunt, your fluids dripping all over your thighs.
“Fucking slut,” He grunted, throwing his head back at the pure bliss. “You knew what you’ve been doing, haven’t you? All those, fuck, pictures? The bikini?”
You just grinned, tongue lolling out as your eyes rolled back into your head. “Nghh- fuck!”
He slapped the side of your ass, “Tell me how much of a slut you are, since you wanna be treated like one”
“Mmm- FUCK! I’m a slut, I’m your fucking slut, nghh~!”
“Good girl,” He panted, fucking into you harder. “I dreamed of this.” He groaned, laughing. “Fucking this tight pussy. It-fuck! Belongs to me now.”
Somehow, his thrusts became even harder, making you scream as you clawed at this back, wrapping your legs tighter around his waist. “Don’t stop!”
“Scream louder, maybe you’ll beat the music,” He snorted, and you wanted to slap the grin off his face, but you’re met with pure bliss as you meet your high.
“I’m cumming!Imcummingimcumming!”
You screamed as your fluids gushed all over his pelvis and he kept fucking into you. Maybe you beat the music.
It didn’t take long until he came into you. Ropes of his warm seed plastering your insides. He panted, resting his head on your shoulder.
You both stayed like that for a few minutes, the both of you too overstimulated to move.
At some point he pulled out, making you whine. His cum was starting to spill out and he shook his head, shoving 2 fingers in.
“Let’s go back to my place, I’m not done with you yet.”
-THOMA, ITTO, ALHAITHAM, KAVEH, AYATO, Tighnari, Albedo, CYNO, CHILDE, Pantalone, DILUC, Kaeya, ZHONGLI, Xiao, NEUVILLETTE, Wriothesly
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cissyenthusiast010155 · 7 months
Note
Can I make a very NSFW request? Severus x reader fem. Ever since Severus and Y/N had sex for the first time, Severus feels a lot of sexual desire, and he likes to have his girlfriend moaning for him all the free time they have.
"Are you tired, love? So soon? Don't worry, you stay in bed and enjoy while I work between your pretty legs"—Severus
Addicted to My Girl ~Severus Snape xFem Reader
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Summary— Established Relationship, ever since Severus first heard Reader properly moan, he can’t get enough of her. He now lives to draw those sinful sounds from her. Smut ensues. Anon Response— Hi hi hi anon!! Thanks for the request! Yes, I absolutely would love to write this for you. Thank you for your detailed explanation. I sincerely hope you Enjoy this! ♥️
Mommy… Master List
Requests & Prompt-List
Prompt— "Are you tired, love? So soon? Don't worry, you stay in bed and enjoy while I work between your pretty legs"
Warnings: NSFW, 18+!!!, smut, fingering, sex, p in v, implied clit stimulation, overstimulation, light praise, pet names, voice/moan kink, honeymoon phase, established relationship, implied future smut, etc.
Enjoy (;
From the second that Severus had heard an unbridled moan erupt from your throat and vibrate through your entire body for the first time, the man was hooked. Owned. Addicted. Powerless. At your mercy.
You were spread out on top of his desk. Your legs wide and Severus planted in the middle of them. Clothes were discarded all across the room. It was heated and passionate. You had both finally snapped, not even making it to the bedroom.
Marks were littered across the neck and chest, but Severus’ tongue was not working away at something else. You gasped and your hand jumped into his head of hair, as the man’s tongue went feral on your cunt.
“OhhHhHh Sevvvvv—!!”
Before you could stop it, your sinfully loud moan tore through all the fibers of your being. Severus stopped at that, looking up at you dumbfounded.
Severus now spent all of his waking hours, that weren’t taken up by his classes, coaxing more heavenly sounds from your lips.
His sex drive, while he had always had one, had fucking skyrocketed since that first night, when you and Severus had first had sex. He couldn’t get you off his mind. Hell, he spent most of his time alone just getting himself off to the thought of you.
Severus stole you away every second he could get you. When you both had free blocks, the man was guaranteed to be teasing you or already in between your legs in some capacity.
Severus was extra lucky today, because it was Friday night, and neither of you had anything planned after your last class in the afternoon. So Severus thought you’d both skip the great hall dinner, after all, the man had the perfect dinner in front of him already…
It wasn’t even dark out yet, and Severus already had you in his lap as he sat in his office desk chair. The man’s fingers had simply slipped under your garments and past your knickers, sliding in and out of your cunt with ease. Your eyes rolled back as you held onto your man for dear life as he bounced you up and down on his fingers.
“S-sev… I’m going to… OhhHhH Sevvv…!” You moaned lewdly, nuzzling your face into the crook of Severus’ neck as you moaned out.
Severus eyes darkened further at your beautiful, addictive sounds.
“That’s it, my love… Cum on my fingers… Again…” Severus told you in his destructively low and sultry, sexy tone.
You held nothing back, crashing over the edge for the second time in the last 40 minutes, having already cum once in Severus’ lap from mere clit stimulation. You let out another sinful moan as you reached ecstasy, biting into your man’s neck to manage the overwhelming pleasure.
Severus fingered you through your high with ease, knowing just the right way to bring you down from your climax, while keeping you buzzing for more.
The man then gently removed his fingers from your dripping cunt, licking his digits clean, before he picked you up bridal style and carried you to your shared bedroom. He laid you on the bed, where you instinctively began to curl up with a yawn. But Severus chuckled, crawling up on top of you, beginning to remove his and your clothing. You giggled and let him help you with objection on your end.
“Are you tired, love? So soon? Don't worry, you stay in bed and enjoy while I work between your pretty legs” he cooed lustfully, coming up to your face and giving you a cheeky kiss on the lips, as he spread out your naked form across the bed.
You gasped as you felt Severus’ dick grinding against your dripping core. You immediately grabbed any and all of his exposed skin, pulling his body against yours and moaning once more.
“Tsk tsk tsk, not so fast, my love… Want a proper taste of you first…” Severus hummed, getting off of you to your dismay, and lowering himself down the bed so that his mouth was level with the cunt.
Your hand found purchase again in his hair as the man’s mouth began to devour your precious pussy. His tongue glided in and out of your core with ease, lapping up all your juices and using his own spit as even more lubricant. You threw your head back and let out a groan, as his tongue worked your centre.
“F-fuck Sevvviiiii—” you choked out, pulling tightly on his hair, as Severus buried his face in your cunt and pressed his nose against your clit while his mouth continued to work its wonders on your cunt.
Severus groaned in delight at your sounds, struggling with the urge to take you right there. But he took a deep breath and simply fucked you harder, knowing the wait would be well worth it. His tone continued to swirl its way through your folds, alternating between stimulating your clit and your entrance. And as soon as you tugged at his locks hard enough a gave him a desperate mewl of need, his tongue sunk into your core.
“Christ Severus Yesssssss…!!” You moaned, your back arching and toes curling into his touch.
The man worked you up with precise skill, having paid intense attention to exactly what made your eyes roll back. The pad of his thumb began to roll your clit, making your knees wobble and pulling another string of whimper and groans from your lips. By the time you reached your third edge, you were a begging mess.
“Please please Sevvv Oh God please—!”
Severus happily hummed into your cunt, “Cum for me, my Darling…”
Your third orgasm rocked over you like a fucking tsunami, feeling like every single one of your nerves were on fire as a hot, white pleasure took over your entire body. You sparked underneath your man’s hold, but he never relented, continuing to tongue fuck you through your high.
By the end of your climax, your vision was a little blurry and you were shaking.
“Still want more…?” Severus’ voice gently asked, as he came up from in between your thighs.
“Mhmmmmm yessss, give it to me Sev…” you mumbled, with a drunken nod.
With a smirk, Severus lined himself up with your dripping heat. You held onto the man in a vice grip as he sunk down into you. And the man nearly came right there from the sinful moan that spilled from your lips… Bloody Hell, he would be chasing those pretty noises of yours for the rest to his life.
~~~
Severus Snape Masterlist
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skittishpuppy · 1 month
Text
M!Werewolf x
F!reader smut
18+
Warning- monsterfucking, obviously, lots of swearing, very very slight dubcon at the beginning, knotting, use of 'it' to refer to the werewolf.
Word count- 1903
This was written by me! Hope you enjoy <3
..................................................................................
You sighed to yourself as you took the steps up to your first floor apartment. It had been a hard day at work and you were already ready to turn in for the night, despite it only being 6:30 p.m. Your boss had been particularly dickish, and you really just needed to relax, maybe have a little bit of a self care evening, then fall asleep. It was your day off tomorrow, luckily, so you could get away with it.
You opened your door and broke the threshold of your home, but immediately stopped short when you heard a strange rustling noise behind you. You looked back nervously, somehow expecting to see some sort of axe murderer. What you saw was even worse.
Twenty feet away from you, and growing ever closer, there was a werewolf. An extremely large one, at nearly twelve feet tall.
You swallowed heavily, face turning a little pale with fright. You'd never encountered a werewolf before, but from what you'd heard, they weren't supposed to be out this early… And it wasn't even a full moon. But despite that, the creature was here, right in front of you, salivating like a rabid dog that was ready to go in for the kill.
You raised your hands in surrender and began backing up slowly, not really sure what else to do. What else was there to do? You didn't have anything to protect yourself; All you had was a brain that was capable of sending prayers to a god you weren't even sure existed.
In your panicked, fight or flight state, you forgot to shut the door, and that was your downfall. The beast sped up upon noticing your retreat. A fun game of chase, it probably presumed.
Your back hit the wall and your heart began pounding so fast and intensely that you were surprised it didn't explode from your chest like in that one episode of supernatural.
Seemingly unaware, or unbothered by, your absolute all-consuming, spine chilling terror, it continued to approach you, maw gaping open, revealing its razor sharp, two inch long canines that could easily tear you to shreds.
“Um,” you said weakly as it closed in on you. “Good dog?” It was a weak strategy, but it couldn't hurt to try, could it?
It just let out a low growl and you whimpered and screwed your eyes shut, unable to look the beast in the eye as it tore you apart and devoured you alive.
After a beat where nothing but it's hot breath on your neck could be felt, you dared to open your eyes. You saw its crimson red hungry gaze staring back at you.
You swallowed heavily. This was it. This was the day you died. You hadn't gotten to do even one of the things on your bucket list yet. You hadn't even experienced much of life! You were young still, you didn't deserve to die, much less in such a gruesome way as this. You were–
Your eyes snapped back open, this time wide as saucers.
Oh…?
Oh.
You'd been right; It did want to devour you, but not in an evil-shredding-destroying-murdering way. In a sexy way.
The werewolf's furry hand had slipped under your shirt and was now roaming around, gently feeling your slightly chubby stomach. It'd taken you years to feel ok with it, and you still weren't certain of your own body, but this creature was somehow making all those worries go away.
Nonetheless, ‘What the fuck?’ was the only thought your blanked out mind could supply as you simply allowed the werewolf to rid you of your button down by ripping it off you.
It did the same with your black lacy bra, the one that always made you feel good in your own skin, and tossed the shredded remains onto the floor. What a waste. But really, you couldn't bring yourself to care. You had better things to be focusing on. Like, how a goddamn werewolf was now licking and nipping at the sensitive skin of your neck while rubbing your perky nipples.
“Mmm…” you hummed softly, tilting your head to try and escape the advances. You weren't sure if you actually wanted to, but somehow it felt more shameful if you didn't.
It didn't seem to matter, either way. The werewolf just continued working its way down your body. When it reached your pencil skirt, you squirmed, but you couldn't wriggle out of its tight grasp. It was far, far stronger than you. Able to kill you with a single bite or swipe of its large paw. And somehow, deep in the darkest recesses of your mind, you really liked that.
It tore off your skirt, throwing it to the side, and ran a clawed finger along the waistband of your panties, while using the other hand to begin feeling you through the silk fabric.
You clenched your thighs together, but it was for naught. It began rubbing your clit sensually, clearly intending to make you feel good, and you couldn't stifle the small gasp that escaped your lips.
You spread your thighs, giving it full access, and it fully took advantage of that, discarding your panties and getting on its knees. It leaned in, nuzzling you with its wet nose, and you shivered. The cold feeling was new to you, but it wasn't bad.
The werewolf then stuck out its tongue and began licking your cunt enthusiastically, focusing on the clit.
“Oh, fuck…” you breathed out, throwing your head back against the wall. It was really good at this, far better than any human man you'd been with. It clearly knew what it was doing.
Its tail was wagging wildly as it treated you to the best cunnilingus you'd ever experienced, and you couldn't help but feel honored that you made this beast feel that happy.
It ate you out like it was what it lived to do, kissing and nipping at your thighs, lapping at your cunt, even using the pads of its fingers to rub you.
You didn't take long to come, entire body convulsing, and you cried out in pleasure, eyelids fluttering. It helped you through it, licking up your cum, and the aftershocks were just as pleasurable. Your thighs were shaking, and you were barely able to hold yourself up against the wall, but it didn't really matter.
Suddenly, you felt your feet get swept underneath you, and the ground grow farther away. You distantly realized, through the haze of your orgasm, that you were being carried by the werewolf across the room, and into your bedroom. It tossed you onto the bed and you sat up, staring directly at the new development.
The werewolf's cock had unsheathed, and it was long, thick, and dripping with precum.
You swallowed heavily, feeling your mouth turn dry. It was big. Really big. You'd never taken anything near that size, even in your personal time. But you'd be damned if you were going to back down from a challenge. So you stared into the wolf's eyes. “Fuck me,” you dared, not entirely sure how it'd react.
The wolf's gaze darkened, penetrating down to your very soul, and it leapt onto the bed, muscles rippling, and shoved you onto your back so harshly you yelped in surprise.
It had definitely responded properly, you thought, as it pinned your arms above your head, gripping your wrists tightly enough to leave bruises.
Without wasting any time, it positioned itself properly, tapping its cock on your cunt a few times. You wrapped your legs around its waist, both of your bodies falling naturally into place.
You briefly wondered why the hell you'd gone along with this in the first place, you knew it was going to hurt, but you simply couldn't resist. The allure of the taboo had plagued you all your life, and this was no different. You had to try everything at least once, and this was no different. You were torn from your thoughts abruptly when the werewolf lined up with your entrance.
Fuck. This was really happening.
“Fuck!” you shouted as it suddenly thrust in all the way, balls deep, sending you forward. It pulled out, then slammed back in, setting a rough, hard pace that had you gasping and whimpering pitifully with each thrust. It was painful, god it was painful, but the pleasure far outweighed the rest.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you chanted, your brain getting fully rewired. This was the best thing you'd ever experienced, the amazing feeling of its cock inside you, pushing your body and mind to the very limits.
It railed you, hard and fast, unrelenting and intense, holding you in place with ease. You felt tears well up in your eyes, and a sob make its way out of your throat, and holy fuck, you could hardly breathe.
It was growling, deep and low and animalistic as it fucked you with abandon, and it was a noise that sent shivers down your spine and butterflies in your stomach.
You were distantly aware you were just babbling now, unable to form any sort of coherent sentence, or even thought. The only thing you could think about was its cock ramming you, how full you felt, and how fucking amazing this was.
Eventually, its thrusts grew more stuttered and twitchy, its growls more high pitched and whiny, as it grew closer to its climax.
You let out a long, drawn out moan and shifted your hips to help him along, and it did the trick, as seconds later, you felt its cum fill you up to the brim. You gasped, surprised and extremely pleased with the warm, full feeling, and it let out a loud howl, consumed with pleasure, but continued thrusting into your pussy.
Finally, your own pleasure overtook you. You let out a string of incoherent curses that would make a sailor blush as your second orgasm rippled through you, cascading from your cunt to your stomach and your thighs, filling you with so much pure fucking ecstasy that you saw stars, your vision turning black at the edges.
The werewolf gave a few more weak thrusts, finally tiring out, but didn't pull out. Your eyes widened as you felt something grow inside you– its knot.
You tried to twist yourself away from it, not particularly wanting to be stuck with the beast inside you for an hour, but you were immediately stopped by brute force, and you just gave into it.
The werewolf seemed pleased by your submission, and moved forward on the bed. It laid down beside you, despite not fitting on the mattress, and wrapped its legs and arms around you, cuddling you.
You could do nothing but fully embrace it with a soft, content sigh.
This definitely wasn't something you'd ever heard in the stories, but you weren't in the least bit displeased about it. Rather the opposite, in fact. This had been, by far, the best sexual encounter of your life. You just hoped the werewolf would stay for the night. And maybe more… You could totally go a dozen more rounds.
As you closed your eyes, you wondered if it was possible to have his pups. It was, oddly enough, an appearing idea. You then felt his grip tighten around you, and you relaxed, feeling safe and secure in his arms, and drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
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Text
Slap a Bow on It
 "Contrary to popular belief, Danny wasn’t stupid. He could be a bit oblivious, but he always got there in the end. So when Danny woke up the next morning and realized that last night wasn’t a dream, he had an epiphany. He was being courted by the super hot and apparently undead crime lord who ran the haunt on the other side of the street."
@deadonmayn Day 1: Courting Rituals | Flickering | Dinner is interrupted by a rogue/gang fight | "Are they gone yet?"
TW: Danny is thirsty as hell, mentions/allusions to nsfw but nothing explicit
AO3 Link
   Danny blinked.
   He could only assume that the crime lord, illuminated purely by the light of the fridge in the otherwise dark apartment, blinked back. The helmet didn't give anything away, red plating and slanted eye whites impassive. Good for being sexy menacing. Not so good for reading emotions.
   Danny blinked again, wiping the rheum from his eyes with pinched fingers. He squinted once more at Red Hood, who for some reason was in his apartment at - Danny glanced at the clock - three in the morning. He seemed perfectly content to be digging through Danny’s fridge, if a little sheepish at being caught.
    He should probably be more angry that his apartment was broken into. He absolutely was when he first woke to the uncomfortable feeling of an uninvited guest in his lair, but after seeing the vigilante’s arms laden with food his metaphorical hackles relaxed. The apartment was shitty anyway. 
   If anything, Danny was confused as to why he was here judging his fridge’s contents and playing Tetris with tupperware. It wasn’t like they knew each other. 
   Danny blinked a third time just to really make sure he was seeing what he was seeing, "...Hi?" 
   "Hey,"  Red Hood unfroze, seemingly recovered from being caught, and resumed stuffing what looked like a container of tamales into his fridge. 
   Danny couldn’t help but feel sullen at the dismissal. He'd woken up only for the admittedly hot trespasser with thick thighs to barely glance at him. Unacceptable. 
   "Do you want anything to drink?"  Danny must have been momentarily possessed by the ghost of Midwestern manners with how urgent the offer seemed. 
   "Nah," Red Hood stuffed another container into the fridge, turning to look back at Danny, "You don't have any allergies, do you?"
   "Nah."
   Red Hood nodded, pulling out a bag of rotten lettuce. He held it away from himself like it might try to bite him. In Danny’s experience, it very well could. 
   “Do you ever clean out your fridge?”
   Danny shrugged, “It’s finals week. I’ve got to keep my GPA above 3.5 if I want to keep my scholarship. No chores. Only study.”
   Red Hood nodded solemnly as he threw the lettuce into the trash, “No chores. Only study.”
   They fell into silence. Danny watched as the crime lord sifted through his fridge, pulling out rotten food as he went. “Is this because I decked that mugger? Cause’ he deserved it.”
   Red Hood very pointedly threw the expired milk carton into the trash can.
   “Okay then…” Danny yawned, “Well if that's all I’m going back to bed.”
   “Kay.”
   Danny shrugged, turned on his heel, and left the crime lord to rifle through his kitchen.
___👻___
   When Danny awoke the next day, he was greeted by a clean apartment. The absence of crumbs on the freshly swept floor felt odd on his feet, although it was certainly much more pleasant. The trash had been taken out and a new bag had already been installed. He passed by the sink on the way to make coffee, the dishes that had been filling it suspiciously absent. 
   Danny would deny to the ancients and back that his knees went weak when he found the coffee maker already set and filled with grounds... his sister must never know. 
   As he waited for the cup to brew, he opened his fridge for creamer only to come face to face with more home cooked food than he’d ever seen in his life. Danny pulled the food out plastic container by plastic container to stare at in disbelief. Tamales, chicken mole, Mexican rice, enchiladas, and carne asada… It was only a handful of containers, but still. It wasn’t as if his parents had done much in the way of cooking with all their time spent in the lab. Jazz could throw together something basic but nothing like this.
   The local hot crime lord slash vigilante had broken in at three in the morning to feed him and clean his apartment. Huh.
  No time to think about that. He has a final on differential equations in five hours and minimal time to cram. Danny stirs the creamer into his coffee, heats up some Mexican rice, and sits down at the untouched mess of notebooks, paper, and textbooks on his kitchen table. 
   He studies until he has to leave for the exam, only getting up to refill his coffee and get more food. The tamales are pretty fricken good, but they make it hard to focus on the numbers scribbled across his notebook. It’s like each bite is urging him to go back into the kitchen and cook, which is odd considering that Danny can’t cook and he already has enough food to last him through the next day or two (courtesy of the sexy crime lord). 
   He leaves the exam room feeling good only for his mood to immediately crumble when he remembers that he has an aerodynamics final at eight the next morning followed by gasdynamics at one. He takes a brief break to faceplant on the table, scream, refill his coffee for the umpteenth time, and eat some more food but inevitably resigns himself to pulling an all-nighter. Time becomes liquid after that. It’s all just a blur of numbers and properties and instructional videos. 
   At some point, he registers another presence in the apartment. Danny recognizes the ecto signature from the night before so he pays it no mind. Let Hood poke around, Danny has to read more about Newton’s Third Law. What was he going to do? Feed him again?
   The answer was apparently yes. 
   The background noise of shuffling in the fridge and washing empty containers stops and is replaced by soft, mechanical-sounding breaths. Hood is standing next to him, plastic container in hand as he watches Danny run through the Quizlet on his laptop. 
   Danny’s got around eighty percent of the terms memorized. Just another twenty percent to go. He types in the answer for a new blank. 
   Red Hood pokes his shoulder.
   Danny grumbles. His response came back wrong.
   His shoulder is poked again.
   Danny ignores it and moves on to the next blank.
   He continues unbothered for an uncertain amount of time. The words on the screen are blurry like he is trying to read underwater. His mouth splits into an entirely too wide, jaw-cracking yawn. His uninvited guest coos at him as Danny rubs at his eyes. The next thing he knows, his laptop is shut closed and moved away. It feels like any and all visual processing is delayed. Danny stares blankly at the spot the computer used to sit.
   Something slides in front of him to replace the laptop. His core chirps when he realizes it's food. Hood’s answering chirp as he guides a fork into his hand is deep and rumbly with the faint stutterings of a purr. Danny starts to purr in return as he sleepily munches on the casserole.
    Before long the empty plate is taken away. Danny slumps down on the newfound table space and tries to fight off sleep. 
   “I think it's time for you to go to bed.”
   “Noooooo! I’v gotta study fr' aero’namics.”
   “You’re slurring your words there, handsome.”
   Danny’s sleep-deprived brain screeched to a halt. His core chirped to attention, “Flat’ry ain’t gettin’ you nowhere.”
   “It was worth a shot.”
    Danny smushed his face further into the wood to hide his blush and distracted himself by blindly reaching for his coffee mug. Upon noticing, the vigilante moved it out of reach. Danny whined into the table.
   “You can’t overwork yourself like this, Danny,” Red Hood carried the mug to the sink and poured it down the drain. Cruel, cruel man. “I know you’ve got exams but your scores won’t be any good if you go into them like this. You've got to take care of yourself,”  He lightly squeezed Danny’s shoulder. Danny hadn’t even heard him move across the kitchen. “Can you do that, darlin’? For me?”
    Danny groaned, “F’ne. But only cause’ ur hot.”
   The vigilante snorted. It sounded odd through the helmet but not bad. “I’m happy to hear it! Now let's get you to bed.”
___👻___
   Contrary to popular belief, Danny wasn’t stupid.
   He had been helping his parents in the lab since he was four, and he was nearly a straight-A student before the accident. He was an aerospace engineering major with a hefty GPA of 3.8, and most importantly, he’s had extensive lessons on ghosts, the Infinite Realms, and their culture. 
   He could be a bit oblivious, but he always got there in the end. 
   So when Danny woke up the next morning and realized that last night wasn’t a dream, he had an epiphany. The thought kept running through his head as he stared at the food in the fridge, the clean apartment, and the prepped coffee maker. 
   He was being courted. 
   He was being courted by the super hot and apparently undead crime lord who ran the haunt on the other side of the street. 
   Danny had never been courted before! 
   Sure, occasionally there was someone who tried to shoot their shot, but it always fell flat in the end. It was an unfortunate side effect of being undead. Every human relationship he had felt… lacking. Like it was missing something. 
   Val had come pretty close. All the fighting and shooting felt like a mimicry of ghostly courtship behavior. It's what had drawn Danny to her in the first place, but Val wasn’t fighting him in a display of power and capability. She had genuinely wanted to end him. 
   There was also the incident with Kitty, but she was overshadowing Paulina and mimicking human behaviors. There was never any ghostly courtship involved, and besides, she was only dating him to make Johnny jealous. 
   This is Danny’s first time being properly courted!
   What is he going to do about it?
   He decided that the question could wait until after finals.
   The next few days pass by much the same as before: a tortuous cycle of studying, caffeine, minimal sleep, screaming, and exams. Red Hood continues to stop by and deliver food. Danny has got to figure out the dude’s actual name or a nickname or something. He refuses to keep calling his potential partner Red Hood. When you take away the scary crime lord persona it just sounds like a condom brand. He could always use a pet name, but it feels wrong given that Danny hasn’t shown much reciprocation outside of allowing Hood into his lair. Instead, Danny settles on greeting him with a trill and a series of chirps. 
   As soon as he finishes his last final he flops face down into bed. Tomorrow he’ll get to work on reciprocating Red Hood’s efforts. His kitchen is blessedly clean of any ecto contamination. Without the food fighting back, he should be able to whip up something presentable. How hard could following a recipe be?
___👻___
   Danny was wrong.  
   Staring at the stove which was somehow on fire, Danny couldn’t help but finally understand why Jazz had never allowed him in the kitchen. He quickly rushes to turn off the heat. Danny doesn’t have a fire extinguisher. He’s a broke college student with just enough money to live on the outskirts of Crime Alley. Why would he ever be able to afford a fire extinguisher? 
   Danny slams a lid over the pot to smother the flames erupting from it and wacks the stovetop with a damp towel. As the fire dies down he glares at the somehow burnt gnocchi sitting ever so innocently in boiling water. He probably could have just iced it. The ice would melt into water and put out the fire, right? 
   He takes another look at the ruined food as the bubbles die down and decides he’s probably just cursed. Not all hope is lost though, Danny reasons as he dumps the ruined gnocchi down the garbage disposal. So Italian cuisine was not his forte. That’s okay! He’ll just try a different recipe!
___👻___
   The recipe said quick and easy. 
   This was neither quick nor easy.
   He dumped the carbonized remains of food into the trash with a sigh. It was French toast! How could someone go so wrong with French toast? The kitchen looked like something had exploded in it for ancients’ sake! 
   Danny thunked his head onto the counter, uncaring of the milk and eggs coating it. An entire loaf of bread gone and not a single edible piece of toast to show for it! He groaned. Maybe he just… wasn’t cut out for this whole courting thing. 
   Dejectedly, he lifted his head and began to wipe down the counter with paper towels. He really liked Hood.
   He was funny! While he mostly left Danny alone during his study sessions, Danny had seen the viral videos. Hood knew how to crack a good death joke, and the compilations of him ragging on Batman were something to aspire to. 
   He cared for people! The sponsored soup kitchens and homeless programs were an open secret in Crime Alley, and the working girls were paid well. The street kids knew they were safe in the Alley because anyone who tried to touch them would end up with their head in a duffle bag. Red Hood protected them.
   And ancients was he hot! Thick thighs for days and strong arms that could probably lift Danny like a couple of grapes. Danny wouldn’t mind being thrown around by a guy like that. He would happily let him pin him to a wall and box him in and then Danny could sink his fangs into his shoulder and then- 
   Okay! Stop! Too far! That’s awfully ambitious for someone who can’t even cook a proper courting gift. Think, Danny, Think! 
  Okay… okay. So he can’t cook. That’s fine because Danny can build. He’s been building things since he was practically a toddler. He can make something easy peasy!
   What about a gun? Red Hood seemed to like guns. Danny’s core purred at the idea. If he had to guess, the vigilante had a protection obsession of some sort. A gun was something that could protect Red Hood but also be used to protect others in his haunt and directly feed into his obsession. Yes! The gun idea was good.
   But then again, Hood had been working with Batman more and more frequently, and with that had been using guns less and less. How often could the gun be used? No, no. This courting gift should be usable in all scenarios. 
   What about a knife? Yes! A knife could work! As far as Danny knew, Batman didn't have anything against knives. Surely a knife paled in comparison to Robin's katana. A knife was sneaky and quiet, good for stealth missions unlike a gun, and easier to carry for everyday use. 
   Danny hummed, nodding to himself. He’d do the knife first and save the gun for later. He was going to need supplies. 
   Danny wiped the dripping egg away from his forehead before it could get into his eyes. But first, he was going to need a shower.
___👻___
   So…
   It could’ve gone worse.
   Despite basically being raised reverse-engineering his parents’ inventions, Danny had never tried to make a knife. He could gut a microwave from the local back alley dumpster and Macgyver it into a functioning weapon, but building a makeshift forge on short notice and hammering steel down into a smooth curve was a whole different ballpark. Luckily the local trade school had a forge, and after some good old-fashioned bribery, they allowed Danny access. That was the first problem out of the way. Unfortunately, the second problem remained. It was fine. Danny was used to thinking on his feet. 
  After many YouTube videos and failed attempts Danny had a somewhat presentable blade. With a saw edge on the top and a sharp curve similar to a khukuri on the bottom, it certainly didn’t look like a beginner's design.
   He probably shouldn’t have skipped straight to a more advanced shape. Danny hadn’t managed to fix the slight warp of the blade, and maybe the practice beforehand would have done him some good. Regardless, it was too late to fix it after the ecto wash, and he didn’t think the warp would affect the performance too negatively. Besides, with the ectoplasm infused into it the knife should cut through ghosts with no problem. 
  Danny had spent entirely too long trying to find the perfect shade of red leather for the handle, but in the end, he accurately matched it to Red Hood’s helmet. He had wanted to incorporate some protective runes into the leather, but he had no idea how to make a lasting pattern that wouldn’t affect the user’s comfort. Eventually, he decided it was an idea to be saved for another project. 
   With his courting gift complete, all that was left to do was break into Red Hood’s lair and give it to him…
   That sounded wrong. Give the knife to him. It’s not an innuendo! Great. Now he’s thinking about those thick thighs again. Stop! Bad Danny!
   He shook himself to dispel the train of thought. Danny had a different, more pressing problem to deal with: How could he present a knife to a vigilante without it coming across as a threat? He didn’t have a box for it, and the knife didn’t have a sheath yet. He could always make himself the box and store it in his chest, but watching someone pull random items out of their body was apparently gross and disturbing, or so he’d been told. What if he just-
   Danny yanked open the kitchen junk drawer and began to root around. After a few seconds of sifting, he pulled out his prize and ever so gently stuck it to the knife. The green gift bow was squished on one end but remained comically large on the blade. He bounced up and down on his toes. It was so stupid that it just might work. 
   Feeling the cool rush of invisibility, Danny phased through the wall of his apartment to greet the early morning light beginning to peak over the buildings. Floating in the air for a minute, he absently fiddled with the bow on his courting gift. With the city starting to wake, Hood should be returning to his lair. 
   It didn’t take long for him to fly past the unseen territory lines and into Crime Alley. Danny had crossed through Hood’s haunt before. It had never felt aggressive like some in the Ghost Zone. Red Hood's haunt was more curious, probing with a warning to behave himself. The haunt felt different this time around. Now it felt welcoming rather than wary, warm. If Danny closed his eyes, he could almost imagine being held in a protective embrace. His core hummed in response, seeking out the other’s resonance. 
   Danny had never been to Hood’s lair. He hadn’t even been given directions, but he didn’t need them. He'd simply follow Hood’s ecto signature to where the haunt’s energy was most concentrated. Like the dead equivalent of a bloodhound. 
   Danny took his time meandering toward the heart of the haunt. He’d never been this far into Crime Alley before, and he didn’t want to get turned around. That was a lie. Danny was nervous and stalling. Doubts flew unbridled through his head.
   What if the knife wasn’t good enough? What if the bow didn’t work? What if Red Hood thought he was threatening him? What if Danny blew his shot? Danny had already screwed up so many other things in his life, he didn’t want to screw this up too!
   There was only so long he could stall. Jittery with nerves, Danny floated outside a decrepit apartment building. The entire structure was practically drenched in Red Hood’s ecto signature, but it radiated in waves from a unit on the top floor. Danny took a breath to steady his racing heart and struggled to quiet his core. It was now or never. 
   He cautiously phased halfway through the wall, chirping in greeting. The apartment was clean and orderly. The fireplace and full bookshelves gave it a homey feel that sharply contrasted with the worn and weathered bricks on the outer wall. The lack of weapons was a surprise. Even if he couldn't see them Danny figured they were still there, well hidden in the otherwise normal apartment. 
   A surprised sound draws his attention to the man on the couch. He’s built like a quarterback, lounging on one side as he struggles to stitch a laceration across his ribcage with a needle in one hand and a handheld mirror in the other. It's hard not to get distracted by the autopsy scar running cleanly across his collarbone and down to his pelvis. Danny wants to lick it.
   Piercing blue eyes search the apartment, arm lowering the mirror. Danny is thankful that he's still invisible. With the heat flooding to his ears, he’s sure he’s as red as a tomato. Danny’s practically drooling at tousled black and white hair and the long scar reaching up from under his jaw to his hairline like a flower stretching for the sun. His crooked nose, clearly broken and healed many times over, only adds to his beauty. Red Hood is truly a modern-day Adonis.
    Hood’s wounded side finally registers in Danny’s brain, rearranging his priorities and catapulting his obsession to the front. Immediately he lets his invisibility drop, absently shoving the knife into his chest for safekeeping. Hood makes a distressed sound as he does so which urges Danny forward. His hands hover worriedly over the man as he pushes as much help/comfort/safety/concern into his aura as possible. 
   He reaches to take the threaded needle from Red Hood’s hand only to be nudged away.
   “It’s fine. I can do it myself.”
   "Hood, let me help."
   "Jason,” he licks his lips, “My name is Jason."
   "Jason," Danny gently cups Jason’s face in his hands, "Please let me help, Jason."
   Blue eyes gaze into his own. The ever-so-faint hints of green within them are captivating, swirling in a hypnotic dance that leaves Danny in a daze. Finally, Jason looks away and nods, breaking the trance between them and passing the needle over.
   Danny allows himself to revert to the mindset of his vigilante days. He stitches the wound with a single-minded focus, practiced hands falling back into a familiar rhythm. Jason watches the entire time, staring intently at his face as he works. Danny struggles to keep his core quiet and pretends not to notice, taping a bandage over the cut. His fingers graze over Jason's body, checking it over for any other injuries. Jason allows it to happen with a distinct feeling of affection/amusement. 
   “Are you hurt anywhere else?”
   “Nah. The kevlar usually prevents stuff like this. I was just unlucky.”
   “Good.” 
   Danny runs his fingers through the white tuft in Jason’s hair, pushing the strands out of his face. His core kickstarts like an engine with a vengeance, humming and searching for Jason’s core song in anticipation. Danny squeaks, stumbling backward. He smothers the sound and quiets his core, but with the look on Jason’s face, he hadn’t been quick enough.
   “Sorry!” Danny stutters out, flushing. 
    Jason’s expression shifts to confusion, “Why are you apologizing?”
   “I’m being way too forward,” Danny drags his hands down his face in embarrassment, “We haven’t had a spar yet and fuck! I haven’t even given you your courting gift yet, but here I am! Invading your space and trying to harmonize! I’m so sorry.”
    “Lucky for you I like forward,” Jason gently grasped his hands, lowering them away from his face. His palms felt warm against Danny’s skin, “Is that what you shoved into your chest earlier? A courting gift?” Jason punctuated the sentence with a gentle kiss to Danny's slow pulse.
   Danny nodded, stunned. Tearing his gaze away from Jason’s lips, he reached into his chest and pulled out the knife. Jason chuckles, his eyes crinkling in mirth, “You put a bow on it?”
   Danny grinned, his fangs on full display, “Well I had to make it presentable, didn’t I?” 
   He gets down on one knee, head bowed and knife held upwards in offering as if he were a knight presenting a sword to a king. Jason gingerly lifts it out of his hands, cradling it like a precious gem. Danny watches as his fingers trace the edge. 
   “It feels like you,” Jason looks to Danny for answers, eyes wide with wonder and a beautiful flush on his face.
   “I wanted to make sure it was effective against ghosts, but it's hard to find enough clean ectoplasm around here. I sorta just… used my own?” Danny rubs the back of his neck with a wince, “Do you like it?”
   He waits in anxious anticipation as Jason stands from the couch. Jason sets the blade gently down on the coffee table behind Danny before tugging him into his arms, “I love it, baby,” his words vibrate over a purr that Danny can feel in his bones, “Just don’t go hurting yourself for courting gifts anymore.”
   Danny groaned, tucking his face under Jason’s chin. “You have no idea how much that narrows my options down.” 
   Jason laughs. 
   Danny pulls away to look up at him, lightly batting at Jason’s peck “I’m serious, Jason! I can’t cook for shit! You’re gonna need to wait a long ass time until I can get my hands on more ecto. I hope you’re ready to wait because it’s going to take me months to build that gun now!”
   “You wanted to make me a gun?” 
   “Yeah? I was going to have one ready in the next few weeks but-”
   Jason’s smile is dazzling as he leans down to press his lips to Danny’s. Danny forgets to breathe as he melts into the kiss. He’s tugged forward until they are chest-to-chest on the couch, cores close together. Danny’s not sure whose core starts to hum first, but the sound is unmistakable as they waver between pitches. Danny bites at Jason’s lips, making a pleased sound when they part for him.
   It’s weird to be doing this before a spar. It’s backward, unconventional. Danny can’t find it in himself to care.
   It’s a wondrous thing when their cores synchronize. Something finally clicks, like a lock snapping into place, and suddenly Danny can feel so much. The humming harmony of their cores permeates every single one of Danny’s nerves. The rush of giddy happiness is unlike anything he’s felt before. He can feel Jason, too. The rampant emotions fling between them until it's hard to tell whose is whose. In Jason’s arms with a core bond in place, Danny has never felt so secure in his life. 
   This. This is what he's been missing. 
   Danny breaks away from their kiss to nip at Jason’s jawline, paying special attention to the scar. Jason makes a pleased sound, tugging lightly at his hair.
   “Your teeth are sharp as fuck.”
   “Aren’t yours?”
   Jason nuzzles under Danny’s shirt collar and into his shoulder. Danny shudders as he feels canines dig into his skin. They’re sharp, but not as sharp as his. 
   Danny giggles, pressing a kiss to Jason’s hair. “I want to see how skilled you actually are with those teeth. Once you’ve healed we can have a proper spar.”
   “I’ll show you a proper spar,” Jason grumbles. 
  Suddenly Danny is pinned, lying on the couch with Jason’s weight on top of him. Jason kisses his cheek, tucking his head back into the crook of his neck with a contented sigh. It's like the world's best weighted blanket, Danny thinks as his eyes droop shut in relaxation.
   They remain like that in silence, basking in the positive emotions and comfort of their new bond. It’s about ten minutes later that Danny finally breaks it.
   “Why me?”
   “Hmm?”
   “Just… why court me? I know I pass through your haunt now and then but we’ve only actually seen each other like… once. What could I have possibly done to catch your attention?”
   “You punched a mugger.”
   “Yeah… so?”
   “You knocked the fucker out in one blow before I could even lift a finger.”
   “And?”
   Jason lifted his head to give him a pointed look.
   Danny stared back.
   Oh…
   Oh!
   “Do you have a competency kink!?”
   Jason flushed, ducking his head back down with a groan. 
921 notes · View notes
taintedpearls · 6 months
Text
❀*ੈ˖°.𖥔 ݁ casual (part ii)
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don't buy tlou — free palestine
you can read part one here!
pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader
summary: you haven't spoken to ellie in a week, 9 missed calls and 38 texts from her, none of which you've answered, but ellie doesn't give up so easily.
cw: smut, mdni, intimate sex, the knee thing (e!receiving), shower sex, fingering (r!receiving), switch!ellie and reader, multiple orgasms, nipple play/sucking, fluffy, reader lives in an apartment, ellie is very apologetic, barley proofread & semi-rushed and i think thats it. lmk if not.
wc: 2.9k
a/n: this was meant to be like 1.6k words so idk how we got to 35 words away from 3k but... enjoy!
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(1:02am) ellie
please let me explain
(1:06am) ellie
cmon please i promise it'll be worth your while
(1:07am) ellie
i have your bra among other things. let me know when you'd like me to drop them off. i'm sorry.
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(1:09am) you
guess who texted again
(1:09am) olive
no way
r u gonna reply?
(1:10am) you
absolutely not
i made a fool of myself
(1:11am) olive
maybe and JUST MAYBE
reply to her and get ur closure + super sexy bra back
(1:12am) you
what the fuck olive
do you want me to die? genuine question
(1:12am) olive
LISTEN
it might help
plus she seems genuinely apologetic
why is she even apologising?
(1:14am) you
for being a dick and wanting a quick hookup?
(1:14am) olive
because she has feelings and she knows she fucked up?
(1:15am) you
😐 bye
(1:15am) olive
just reply! say sometime tmrw. it can be easy, a quick in nd out
okay?
(1:16am) you
i'll think about it
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(2:03am) you
11:30, you get two minutes
(2:03am) ellie
thank you so much
(2:03am) ellie
i'll be there
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nine hours later, and ellie was a mess.
you had given her permission to come over and return your bra – hell you had her jumping for fucking joy when she saw that message.
but now she had to actually talk to you, and what the hell was she supposed to say? that she was sorry? that she 'couldn't sort out her feelings?' all of which felt wrong (maybe they only felt wrong because she was staring at herself in the mirror while repeating them for three hours... who knows).
but ellie had found herself with a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand and a plan.
a plan to win you back.
she was going to apologize, let you scream at her, and hopefully let her explain, all in the two minutes you had gratefully gifted her.
so, when she rang the doorbell to your apartment after hiking the six story stairs, she found herself staring at her old, beaten up converse. stars and hearts you had drawn all along the sides of the soles almost mocked her.
then you opened the door, and ellie couldn't look up.
useless apologies started spilling from her mouth, panicked words that meant nothing. a collection of "i'm sorry” s and a series of "please let me explain" came pouring out, that was until she grew the gall to look up at you and take you in.
her heart stopped when she did, so did her words.
you looked tired. clearly old yet comfortable clothes adorned your body, you had your arms over your stomach but they weren't crossed, you weren't mad, you could never be mad at ellie, no matter how badly you wanted to be especially in this moment.
words rushed through her head but never made it out her mouth, you were... exhausted. and she caused it, she caused all this pain you were going through. 
“oh…” she softly whispered, her stance faltering at the sight of you, not because you looked like how you did but because she was so mad at herself.
you sigh, you had made no effort to adjust your appearance or put makeup on. you told yourself it was because you had no energy to, but in reality, you wanted to show ellie how you were hurting, that she had caused this, that something fun and sweet had gone sour and at your own expense. 
“ellie, i know i look….” you remove your arms from your stomach and signal to yourself shamefully, tears almost springing from your sunken eyes at the regret you feel for not even trying to fix yourself up, “ but can i please just have my bra back?” you’ve changed your position once again so that you’re leaning up against the doorframe of your apartment, gray sleeves up by your knuckles. 
“no! no no no not at all you look… pretty. really pretty.” she breathes out hurriedly, your cheeks heat up before you spot the bouquet, and that's what makes the tears spill. because why was she here? she had never described you as pretty before, only hot or sexy, so why is she here apologising and calling you pretty if she doesnt just want a quick fuck by validating you? 
tears now evidently filled your eyes, ellie’s kind smile had now turned into one of worry and concern when she saw the tears threatening to spill from your tired eyes, moving forward to embrace you, but she hesitated. will it only make things worse for you? feeling her again? 
“can- can i touch you?” she asks gently, nerves shaking at the chance of you pushing her away for good, telling her she can keep the bra and slamming the door shut in her face. 
instead, you silently shake your head yes and grant her permission to embrace you, it was a stupid idea, really, because everything you felt, all the times she had touched you that you had so desperately been trying to shut out came flooding back and it took everything in you not to sob, the subtle stream of tears gliding down your cheeks was worse enough. you avoided her sorrowful eyes, you didn't want her to feel sorry for you, you just wanted her. 
ellie lets go of you, she’s still standing at the doorway, converse planted firmly on your ‘welcome!’ doormat, she delicately reaches to hold your cheeks and force your wandering eyes to look into her own, staring for a second, memorizing your face just in case before looping an arm around your shoulders and guiding you inside, closing the door behind the two of you with her foot, not looking back once. 
you can feel the flowers gently brush against your shoulder as she never put them in her other hand, but the feeling of them is oddly comforting. you're not sure why exactly it’s comforting, but you do however manage to notice they're your favorite. 
ellie guides you over to a kitchen counter, sitting you up on it and standing right in between your open spread legs, placing the array of flowers opposite to the two of you. you bury your head in your hands, wanting to disappear from this moment and never return. 
“hey…” she gently prys your hands away from your head, and you immediately look up to contain tears, trying your hardest nor to hit the cabinets. “i'm sorry for just welcoming myself in, i assumed you didn't want the neighbors to see you…” the auburn haired girl uneasily babbles, and the tears slow down. you sniffle, looking down at the girl who can’t seem to slow her fast paced talking, and you're not sure how to quiet her down other than placing a hand over her mouth. 
instantly, the talking stops as she looks up at you confused, you sniffle once more and she grabs your hand again to remove it from her mouth 
“you were talking a lot,” you whisper “its okay that you came in, ellie.” your voice is silky, addicting. 
“i just-” she sighs, anxiously tapping the space outside your thighs and staring at her own hands “i don’t know how i can express just how sorry i am, i fucked up. Bad. and your hurting because of it” she spills, shes not even sure if it made sense as it left her mouth, but it’s honest. 
“ellie… it was always more than just a casual thing to me,” you admit, voice getting shallower by the second “and i mean, i don’t know, i always just assumed if i kept saying i was fine with it you would realize that i was who you wanted, but now i know it isn’t true.” ellie’s face drops upon hearing your words, alarms blare in her head because of course it was never just casual to her as well, she’s not even sure why she suggested it in the first place or kept reinforcing it when she wanted everything but that. 
“i know,” she starts off with, you look down sadly, this was confirmation she didn't want to see you anymore, that you getting attached had ruined everything and there was no saving whatever you two had. “but,” she continues, you look up at her again, confused. “It was never just casual to me as well, you know? i’m not even sure why i suggested it in the first place.” she lets out a brief chuckle at the last part in hopes of clearing some of the tension around you guys. 
“but you-” 
“i know i always reminded you, i think it was because i was scared? i was so… infatuated with you and i guess i didn’t want to hurt you. i thought it was the only way.” she remorsefully confesses, and you smile, roles reversed as you gracefully grab her face and kiss her. a kiss that says everything. 
it's soft, gentle, show’s no urgency or panic. it’s natural, and ellie can feel you smiling into it, as is she. 
gently, she moves away and starts kissing down your neck, you lock your hands into her auburn and let out a sigh of content. 
“ellie…” you needily whisper. 
“yeah, baby?” she removes her mouth from your neck, grabbing your thighs and looking into your eyes. “this okay?”
“more than okay,” you confirm, “do you wanna shower with me?” your request is simple, but it makes ellie’s heart explode with excitement as she lifts you off the counter and begins to carry you over to the very familiar shower, the short walk is full of quick kisses and giggles bouncing off the walls when you finally arrive and she nearly stumbles over her own feet. 
you're quick to discard your own clothes, the anticipation building to feel ellie’s skin on your own, the girls anticipation matching yours as she hastily removes her own clothing. Flowers and bra forgotten in the kitchen when she pulls your body into the shower with her, capturing you into a needy kiss once more. she reaches behind you to turn the water on, not accounting for the fact it'll take a minute to warm up and allowing the freezing stream to harshly hit your back. you yelp, moving away quickly in shock, hearing ellie’s restrained snort from behind you. turning to face her, you slap her bicep playfully when the water begins to feel warmer 
“ellie!” you playfully scold, “that wasn't funny!” you’re trying to be serious, key word: trying, but you cant help to let your own laugh slip past your mouth as you join her in the fun. 
“‘m sorry!” she giggles, the laughter between you two dying down “i didn't think it would be that cold!” 
“yeah, well, obviously!” you attempt to splash her with the little bit of remaining cold water on your hands, but you're not quick enough. she pins your hands above your head against the wall adjacent to the stream of water, the glass becoming foggy with steam from the nearly boiling water. 
silence falls in between the two of you. no words are spoken as you move forwards wanting a kiss from the girl, but she moves back. deja vu spikes within you from that night at the bar, days before everything went down. 
she closes her eyes, leaning closer and pressing her forehead up against yours. You repeat the action, you weren't sure what she was doing, but you trusted her. 
“let’s take this slow, okay?” she utters softly, just loud enough so you could hear her over the sound of water pouring, you nod instantly. slow was good. slow meant effort.
with your agreement, she locks your lips into a kiss once again. it wasn't hasty or rough, it was soothing and steady, releasing your arms in order for her to move her own to rest on your hips, your own reaching towards her neck. 
the kiss continuous for a couple minutes, only letting go for a couple seconds at a time to catch your breaths before falling back into each other peacefully, but you were getting wetter and wetter, desperate for more than just kitten kisses on your neck, and you could tell ellie was getting wet too with her movements becoming more and more desperate and rough. 
discreetly, you slot your knee in between her legs while she's occupied with your neck. Almost immediately you can feel the grip she has on your hips become tighter, fingernails digging into the flesh as you slowly begin to move your knee, she groans, dropping her head into your shoulder, moving her hips to match the rhythm with your knee. 
“faster, please” she whimpers in your neck, busying herself again by leaving wet open mouthed kisses on your neck once more. who were you to deny such a pretty girl's request? you speed up the movement of your knee, nudging it up every now and again, removing a hand from her neck to reach down and slowly rub her clit. 
from the way she sucked harder on that spot just below your ear she knew you loved, you assumed the sensation was taken well, your own wetness starting to drip down your thighs, mixing with the water from the muffled noises she was making alone. eventually, the stimulation caught up to her, legs becoming shaky, speeding up your movements and circling her clit, forcefully removing her mouth from your neck so you could bring your head down and suck on her left nipple, and that was her tipping point. 
ellie came undone on your leg with a strangled shout of your name, legs shaking and thighs hurting as you slowed down the circles on her now sensitive nub before eventually stopping, removing the knee slotted between her legs as well as your mouth from her tit. 
“you okay?” you whisper, giving her a couple seconds to come down from her high, the water providing a warm comfort over the two of you. 
“yeah,” she breathes, coming up to give you a kiss on the lips, again, and again, making a wet noise each time, only further fueling your need for her. “more than okay, thank you.”
you smile at her, happy that she was satisfied with your work. you clench your thighs together in hopes to relieve some of the tension that had built up in your core, a move that did not go unnoticed by the dripping girl in front of you. 
“but now i think i need to take care of you, hm? would you like that?” you quickly nod your head yes, anxious to feel her touch on you once more. 
she doesn't wait to get to work on your body, lips going down to suck one of your boobs while her hand moves to roll the sensitive bud in between her fingers, almost instantly eliciting a moan from you.
quietly, she moves her hand that was previously rolling your nipple down your wet body to your core. you open your legs, she keeps her mouth on your boob, but teasing your folds as she ran her fingers through them and pinching your clit ever so slightly, causing you to squel. 
“ellie.. please…” you almost beg, desperate to feel her skilled fingers inside you already.
she presses her palm flat against your clit, ignoring your begs but making you jerk back into the ceramic wall as a small whimper falls from your mouth, ellie smirks knowing just how much of an effect she had on you. she wasn't leaving you ever again. 
lazily, she slips her middle finger into your hole, removing her mouth from your tit. the shower and your own slick providing enough lube that she didn't even have to prod at it. 
“jesus babe… you're so tight” you clench around her finger at these words, and she mindlessly adds a second one. your hands move from her neck to the steaming glass beside you, indenting your handprint through the fog as you lose control over your own body's movements. 
gradually, she begins pumping her fingers in and out of your sopping cunt, lewd and shameless moans leaving your mouth at an uncontrollable pace. she moves her thumb to your clit, pushing into it and causing as much pressure as possible, and it's not long before you cum with a yell of her name, babbling nonsense as she guides you through it. head in her neck as is hers in yours. 
“‘m so sorry” ellie continuously repeats as her fingers still work at a relentless pace inside you “i'm so so sorry, ill never do that to you again.” she moves up and bites your earlobe, continuing to pilot you through your orgasm before halting her movements completely and removing herself from your body. 
you lean back against the wall, eyes closed in content as you feel the droplets of water hit your skin, your water bill is gonna be so fucking high this month, all ellie does it look at you. admiring you in this post fucked out state. you reach your hand out, a silent request for her to take it and she does, right after turning off the stream for you. 
“that was… amazing.” you breathe out happily, she beams at the peaceful look on your face as you peel your eyes open, ellie's smile making you crack your own. 
“i'm glad,” she kisses you once more, the two of you smiling into it. 
“we’re okay?” she asks 
“we’re okay.” you confirm, and ellie has never been happier 
“how about we continue this in the bedroom?” ellie suggests, and you grab her instantly to lead her out. 
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people who asked to be tagged: @a-little-bit-of-everybody ! @lmaoo-spiderman @macaroni676 @p4ison1vy @fatbootymuncher @elliessweetheart
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dj-of-the-coven · 3 months
Text
trigun 1998 episode simulator
[3 minutes of guitar solo]
Vash the Stampede: hi my name is Vash the Stampede. I am a hunter of Peace chasing the elusive mayfly of Love. all I really want to do is have a sandwich and a morning coffee without getting chased by bandits
some bandit: (gunshot) absolutely not. square up faggot
Vash: rats.
[gunfight]
Vash the Stampede: my name is Vash the stampede. I am a hunter of Peace chasing the elusive mayfly of Love.could I please have a sandwich
Meryl from the Bernardelli Insurace Society: how long are you going to sit on your ass doing nothing but playing games with children and doing chores for the elderly and disabled and looking after lonely youths and cooking dinner for the homeless
Vash: I've been here for like 2 days
Milly Thompson: Hi Vash!
Vash: Hi Milly
[exit left pursued by bounty hunters]
Vash the Stampede: (panting, entering a bar) my name is Vash the stampede.... I am a hunter of Peace chasing the elusive mayfly of Good L*rd what is going on in here
Hostage: mphdsfhapff!!!! mffmpphhf!!!!
Villain of the week: well if it isn't the elusive Vash the Stampede! you see it all started when I was 4 days old and you kicked me like a football and then exploded my parents to death with a laser canon and killed every puppy in a ten ile (translator's note: this is the No Man's Land equivalent of the American Mile) radius
Vash: I don't remember doing that but well I suppose you can shoot me if it'll make you feel better
Side character of the week: Are you insane? Just shoot him instead???
Vash: but my mom told me not to be mean to people
Villain of the week: (still going) And as I am now 47 years old I have finally decided to get my revenge. Say your prayers, Vash the Pisshead
[Wall explodes and reveals a motorcycle with a sexy priest on it]
[sfx: guitar with a hint of electric distortion]
Vash: is that..... Wolfwood?
Meryl who was in the background this whole time: the priest?
Nicholas Dickolas Wolfwood: (brings his fingers up to a pair of luscious lips to grab the cigarette from right between them, taking one more slow inhale before crushing the cherry red underneath his heel)(sensually cocks one of his 8 guns) Are you just gonna let this guy talk down to you like that needle noggin?
Vash: I g-
[guitar riff bumper]
[guitar riff bumper]
Vash: -uess not, since you're here to help now... (slow, warm smile) Wolfwood
Nicholas D. ranged Wolfwood: Vash
Milly who was also in the background this whole time: Hi mr priest man! isn't this lovely, I haven't seen you since the last time you spoke with mr Vash yesterday evening when you were helping him buckle all those silly belts on his pants after he had lost them somehow
Vash: On a cactus
Milly: On a cactus! Oh it must've hurt so terribly; how fortunate that Mr Priest man was there to help you
Wolfwood: Hi Milly
[gunfight]
Villain of the week: ohhhhh curses!!! CURSES!!!! I have spent my whole existence getting ready to fight Vash the Stampede but he's just too good at swallowing all my bullets!!!!!!
Vash the Stampede: my tragic dead mother would be sad if I didn't swallow everyone's bullets so I've trained diligently every morning at digesting gunpowder without dying immediately
Wolfwood: [internally: I can't believe it. All this time I've spent walking the path of darkness, reaching to a pure light that I could never grasp, and yet here is a man who's dedicated his life and his body to the pursuit of Peace. I wish he were a woman so I could fuck him romantic style. I've got a whole plan for it and everything. Whiskey, sunset, a bed with no sand in it, 6 hours. This would be fully and completely possible if only he were a woman. Unfortunately he's not, but I can still think about the what-ifs. platonically of course. Maybe if he got some good dick he'd stop being so annoying. And maybe he'd stop making me rethink my morals. I wonder if the seven drunken handies meant anything to him. Platonically]
Wolfwood: Well anyway it looks like my job is done here
Vash: (teary) Will I see you again?
Wolfwood: I don't know. And besides, whenever I look at you, I'm reminded of everything I hate about myself. You know, it hurts.
[exit Nicholas D. Wolfwood pursued by repressed homosexual desires and immense catholic guilt]
Vash the Stanned Peat: (looking out the window like a widow whose husband was killed in action) Nicholas... D... Wolfwood.......
Meryl who was in the background that entire time, yes, the whole time: shut the fuck up already
Vash: when will it be my turn Meryl. When
[roll credits]
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suiana · 16 days
Text
imagine sitting on a train, expecting a short ride but the ride just never ends. and no, it's not a 'the brakes are broken' scenario.
you were just taking a train to like, a nearby suburb to visit your friends like usual. everything was fine. all things were like what they normally were. ticketing station, the weird old man who tells you that they're watching you, and the cute highschool student who frequently tells you stories about his school life.
you board the train like usual, nothing out of the ordinary. you find an empty seat and put on your earphones. you decide you want a calm and soothing song that day. looking out of the window, you hum softly and anticipate what you and your friends are going to do.
that's when you realize you've seen that sign post two times already.
you nervously look around your surroundings, hoping to find someone else who's also realized what's going on.
but there's no one else in the carriage. oh, wait, actually no. you also have the highschool boy.
"hey kid, um, did you notice anything off? like uh-"
"hm? oh, it's you mx."
the boy's voice is deeper than usual as he continues looking out of the window. you frown at his reaction before trying to get an answer out of him again... only for him to turn and completely scare the shit out of you.
that. that was not the face of a human. not when his eyes were all black and curved into tiny moons. not when his lips were stretched so wide that he resembled the stupid 😄 emoji. not when his mouth looked like a bottomless pit of nothing that could swallow you alive. not when his skin was paper white and his body now elongated to look something like a sexy slenderman if that was even possible. not when he didn't resemble a human anymore.
"darling, what's wrong? you don't like my face? I'm really hurt."
his voice is deep as he continues staring at you from his seat. he makes no sign of movement, merely looking down at you with a tilt of his head before a soft giggle comes out.
what the shit? were you in a horror movie now?
screaming and falling onto the floor behind you, you shiver and try escaping. no, you had to leave. you couldn't die now!
scrambling to the help button, you try to get help. surely the technician could try and get help for you? you desperately press the help button, glancing warily at the high school boy that you were sure was actually a 6009 year old demon that decided to possess a body of a kid for the mere fun of it.
"huh? baby? what's up?"
baby? what? first darling, now baby? what's up with these men? you stare at the help panel before whimpering for help. unfortunately the male voice over the line only fills you with more dread.
"you wanna leave? no can do baby. don't worry, we'll take good care of you."
you don't like the way he said good. what the hell was that supposed to mean? for all you know it could mean imprison you in the train for the rest of your life!
"also I'm in the carriage beside Mr. Driver so if you wanna leave that weird shapeshifter beside you feel free to hop over."
beside... you?
you are suddenly hyperaware of every single thing around you and wait a second, why the hell did you feel a suspicious person breathing down your neck?
"leave my dear alone, you creep."
the air around you seems to loosen up as the weird shapeshifter demon backs up. damn, what good timing. you were just about to thank your saviour when the familiar feeling of dread returns, and even worse this time.
he was a handsome guy. tall, well dressed, and absolutely damn gorgeous. he was wearing all black, a black fedora on his head as he smiles at you with his pearly white teeth. reassurance. yet, you felt as though if you dared to disrespect him, your life would be over before you even knew it.
you stay rooted in your place, your mouth running dry as the male steps closer to you. each step of his felt like a step closer to death and... was it just you or were you feeling light headed now?
"i am afraid i cannot touch you, my dear. for your life will be drained with each fleeting touch. but i must say that it is good to finally meet you physically."
death.
you were so damn sure that the man in front of you right now was the grim reaper or maybe even death himself. your whole body was shaking at this point, his very presence making you feel as though an invisible force was pushing you down into the ground and squeezing you tight. it was hard to even breathe.
"ah, sorry. i forgot living beings are ever so fragile. my sincerest apologies, my dear."
just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, the driver's announcement makes you feel like you're about to throw up.
"welcome aboard the hell train, sweetheart. you are now on the line to ǝɹǝɥʍou. please enjoy the rest of your ride!"
shit, so you really were about to get stuck on this train forever.
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