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#actually i can bc what isn’t 😭
snowglobetay · 1 year
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can’t believe this was an easter egg
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mavspeed · 1 year
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something that really pisses me off is this headcanon that ice would have been or was against mav pulling bradley’s papers for the academy.
like i’m sorry but I need some of you to think for a second. this is a man whose jet wash indirectly also led to the accident that resulted in goose’s death and probably carried that guilt for half his life too. this is also the man who was there to watch mav and carole grieve for the brother/husband they lost for YEARS. not to mention he was close to goose as well since they were both at the academy. like he would have wanted to protect bradley just as much as mav did when he made the decision to pull the papers. it’s a dumb moment for both of them but again. 100% they would have both thought they were doing the right thing for bradley.
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ofantediluvian · 30 days
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The littlest things give Dove euphoria
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incorrectsibunaquotes · 4 months
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I struggle immensely with the “Nina is the Most Pure of Heart™” narrative, not because I think she’s a bad person, but because I just don’t think she’s any more morally sound than anybody else in the damn house
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mattodore · 2 months
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okay so because previous anons asked about sex, I wanna ask about aftercare, how they act after sex? oh and i’m curious how their sex life change after being together for a while
xoxo <3
their aftercare isn't always aftercare-101, if i'm honest. theo is very bad at it and doesn't really... ever... do that for matthias. and matthias may be very good at giving aftercare but theo is incredibly resistant to it. i mentioned earlier that theo really gets off on praise, but... he also flinches away from it. he's so twisted up about so much of what he wants and he's really, uh... well. he makes it really hard to get close to him and offer comfort despite how much he desires it. matthias can't say certain things without scaring theo off (and i mean, like, theo will quite literally run away), so he has to talk around what he wants to say and what theo needs to hear to prevent theo from bolting before he can bring him down.
matthias takes a long time cleaning theo up and massaging his muscles after, and he'll hum or talk to himself in polish so theo knows he's still there touching him (but isn't stirred before he comes to himself on his own by english he can understand). when he's finished, he'll ask theo very simple yes or no questions that let matthias know how theo's feeling without outright asking how he's feeling. he also checks on theo throughout the day, but he has to be even more subtle there or theo starts to feel smothered. is your body okay? do you want me to get you dressed? does your head hurt? do you want me to read to you? he focuses on asking about the physical and what theo wants to do rather than theo’s emotions. matthias has learned that asking if theo's feeling okay after is a quick way to trigger a very, very negative response in theo. it's one of the reasons why i think matthias is constantly asking theo in the heat of sex how he's feeling, because that's when theo is so preoccupied by the physical aspect that the emotional effects leak out without him fighting to keep them in. it takes a few months for theo to get comfortable with the feelings he has after sex with him before matthias can really give him proper aftercare. that’s why the sex they have early on is never anything too crazy. matthias coaxes theo into a better place first.
​i also think it’s important to clarify that it’s not like they’re always having kinky sex. still, theo usually needs physical touch after vanilla sex as well. matthias himself always craves conversation afterwards, so he waits for theo to stir awake (because he often falls asleep after sex) or come back into his body fully to talk to him.
as for changes to their sex life after they’ve been together for awhile… i believe i've talked about this before, but their sexual dynamic turns on its head after a few years. theo starts to take control of the reins and gets more comfortable asking for and doing what he wants. with theo he just has a lot holding him back and it's only after he's grown as a person and worked past a majority of his intimacy issues that he can act on the desires he's been burying waaay down. there's a sort of brattiness that theo starts to have a lot of fun with during sex—a lot of pushing and prodding, withholding, insulting... matthias is having the time of his life lmao, like he loves being challenged and pushed around. matthias takes on a more submissive role during sex as they age, which is fun for him. plus it's kind of the dynamic they've always had outside of sex anyway. of course, there are never any set roles in their sexual life so i'm not saying that it's always like that, but theo enjoys telling matthias what to do and how to do it. they have a lot of fun with it.
#river dipping#asks#anonymous#oc extras#nsft#theodore doe#matthias evanoff#a burning house to live in#echthroi#finally done..... actually patting myself on the back for being able to answer all of these in a day and a half like#normally being asked anything abt my ocs takes me forever to get to bc i just take everything so seriously#......................................exhibit a: this reply jnjhkjfnghk#my ocs are just really complicated so i feel like i have to really expand upon each new bit of information#like theo is NOT ! well adjusted in the slightest#and while matthias can read people very easily it doesn't mean that there aren't times where he messes up#theo is very closed off and he will lash out at the slightest thing that spooks him#and he also... is not really experienced in having good sex yk? so he's so bad at aftercare which i guess is like. well.#good thing your partner is someone who's used to being left to his own devices after experiencing major physical and emotional stressors#matthias can usually take himself out of a scene just because of the nature of his past...#but i think theo does pick up on what matthias does for him after awhile and he tries incorporating it into 'aftercare'#but................. i don't think he really understands what all he should be saying and doing for a few years like not until he's#domming matthias more frequently and has taken the time to look at The Internet lmao jkfjnhkjn i imagine it shocks him a bit#matthias may be good at sex but he does have his blind spots and those normally involve himself… so he never told theo that what he does#for him should be reciprocated………… additionally matthias is very much a giver not a taker#like he doesn’t expect or even really want theo to ask how he’s feeling. but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need that.#….have been rereading this for the last thirty minutes idk why this is what i’m like Yikes ! about responding to 😭#whatever post ‼️ theo isn’t good at sex i’ve said it before who can be surprised he gives zero aftercare
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alexturner2005 · 9 months
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i’m boo boo the fool. my retainer broke last year and i didn’t replace it bc anxiety and depression and bc mean girls from high school work at the orthodontist, and i finally went in for a new retainer and they suggested 10-12 months of braces again 😫
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chryzure · 3 months
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okay so. modern au dweeb jacks (canonical, but i digress) where he somehow wound up being chrysi’s online friend in addition to being her best friend irl (yes, he knows it’s sad that his closest friend(s?) are both chrysi, don’t talk to him abt it) & now chrysi’s sometimes texting him & asking him what she should do if she has a crush on her loser bestie. is this a win or a loss? jacks rlly can’t say.
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introvertgoat · 8 months
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ooouuu
me: is depressed
my twt acc: suspended
r u next finale: jiwoo jeemin jeongeun (aka the talented girlies) all eliminated and 2 minors in the lineup 🤕🤕
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#real talk: wanna kms rn#life isn’t living#first two aren’t new developments but the third??#oh belift/hybe are going to hell bcs they love being sleazy 😍#aside from them already eliminating the star of all stars miss chanelle thomas i actually can’t believe they’d let go of jiwoo and jeemin#of all people 😭😭#like#you have an incredible main vocalist who can actually sing and erm lbr hybe needs more idols who can yk actually sing#and LITERALLY THEIR BEST TRAINEE?? jeemin has been consistently topping the rankings every time and 4th place for the finale was good !! but#of course the stupid and frankly disgusting 70% votes for koreans vs the 30% for intls skewed the scale so badly#and when u add in the fact that only 2 of the finalists were audience picks and the other 4 were the company picks … 🫤🫤🫤#also the group name crying#what the fuck is i’ll-it 😭#that’s a HORRIBLR NAME#and i though the name for queendom puzzle was bad#i mean it still is but this is js 🤐#when the announced it i suddenly felt relieved that chanelle and tripl j were debuting under that group name 😋🫶#but it’s the way i was so blindsided by jeemin not debuting BYE like the anger i feel rn …#jiwoo?? my bbg has more talent in her pink than the bitch lee hyun has in his entire nasty body#but the way the show has been going clued me in on that she most likely wouldn’t make it bcs bitches love being ageist and ignoring talent#BUT JEEMIN?? SHE DESERVED BETTER 😣😣😣#they’re all most likely leaving hybe too good riddance#laughing at the way most intl fans are wishing on the groups downfall calling them flops like they’re MAD#and rightfully so like bye hybe ur debuting a bunch of flops aside from yunah and minju my beloveds 😘#i wish them all the success but yk#i won’t even talk abt W bcs her fans r probably lurking on here 🤕😭#need jaden jeong to hook up my girlies w triple s !! they’ll make good music and show off their skills#crying again cbs the way jiwoo said this was her last chance most likely for a debut … i’m burning hybe down idc idc#fuckers need a good vocalists and yet they’re not running after the lost opportunity ??#screw the judges too except aiku bcs they rlly realized how much they fumbled the bag at the finale LMAO
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releaseholiday · 1 year
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crossbackpoke-check · 2 years
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bring a friend home today! adopt, don’t shop 🐶@metroitdetroitanimals 6.28.2022
#vladislav namestnikov#dallas stars#be the red wings content you want to see in the world i guess#absolutely devastated by these thanks. it’s been like a week and i’m finally able to post this because i had such an unreasonable reaction 😭#we don’t need to talk about the fact that i liked this it’s fine just ignore it & instead we can not talk abt how i went 🥹🥹 vladdy came home#realized. that i typed be the ‘red wings’ content you want to see right when i needed to type the tags & move them so they show up &. he’s.#i was trying to be clever with the caption but my entire brain just kept wailing ‘BRING HIM HOMEEEEEEE’ but actually now that i look w/ the#draft coming up… adopt don’t shop bring vladdy home we can buy a new little defenseman at the store we already have centers at the shelter#all of the terrible articles i have been reading that are like ‘why the red wings should acquire claude giroux’ and i’m like actually yeah#we can adopt that one guys!! adopt don’t shop!!! also should mention i was reading an article about what free agents yzerman should sign &#it wasn’t even about vladdy for the main one but it was some dude & at the bottom of each profile they had like ‘other options’ and for one#of them one of the other options was just ‘vladislav namestnikov’ & i did screenshot it & highlight it & cry bc i love him & i still forget#that vladdy isn’t a red wing anymore. like my brain simply REFUSES to acknowledge it every time it hits me all over again he’s in dallas now#dallas stop taking the men i love & ruining my narratives i want you to put them back#detroit ride or die forever & always#vladdy with DOGSSSS have y’all SEEN his little frenchie he and fabs are frenchie besties please you need to bring them back together#just like how aspen & millie are girlfriends & if you won’t bring moe back for the team’s sake do it for the dogs like what about ellie????#vladdy coming back to support the charity he picked back when he was still a wing makes me (oozing pile of tears in the middle of the marsh)#vibes of pk STILL being one of the biggest supporters of the montreal children’s hospital except it’s not little kids it’s an animal shelter#to explain to you the extent that i have not stopped thinking about this post the other day when i was at work i was thinking about how mtl#did like a ‘tourists in mtl’ thing & was like okay but i want them to take the mojoe show around to show people detroit but then i went wait#do you remember connor’s farm workout like what hockeys do i want to see on a farm & i immediately went ‘VLADDY’ like can’t you just see it#he would just be absolutely delighted to be on a farm & he’d be so excited to see all the animals & i want them all to take a trip to belle#isle & go to the aquarium & the conservancy & i just think that vladdy would love hanging out w/goats & then i had to go ‘hE’S nOt On ThE-’#what i’m saying is: detroit bring vladdy home so that i can see him hang out with cool animals. i want to take vladdy to the zoo#he seems really nice & he would sit at one enclosure with me for four hours & we would just watch them chill out & he should come home pls
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tragicomedys · 2 years
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fuckign hate straigjt cis dudes even the “cool” ones
#why are they so obsessed with concepts that low key connect to gender essentialism#Like fr they’re so obsessed with the ‘differences between men and women’ and reproductive shit and whagever#brothers trying to say there needs to be an inherent instinctual trait that has made people give girls dolls across cultures and history#that goes beyond social/cultural norms and pressures but connects to something inherently linked to their psychology. even during stone age#times/times where the world wasn’t so connected and stuff#Like bro…. and the thing is neither of us have even researched this topic well#so fucking arguing with him about this is literally like grasping at straws#and i’m not out either so i can’t pull my nonbinary card LMFAO…#like geez i’m not great at arguing against gender essentialism but you’re not qualified at all to be making connections across history/#cultures/sociologically speaking on how many girls have this instinct to care for a humanoid doll and how guys probably have this instinct#to be interested in shit like. Fucking a boulder falling in a pond or shit (tiktoks this ones for my male audience type vids)#like those tiktoks are jokes dog#anyway it’s so tough arguing w him cuz he’s also so defensive and sure he’s correct. sir you don’t fucking know shit on this topic and#neither do i. i just know that gender essentialism is stupid and we’re seeing that more and more in today’s times as lgbt communities make#themselves and their thoughts more known#No but for real straight cis dudes even the ones that are accepting actually make such a big deal about figuring out differences between#(Cis obv) women and men. and ofc it always goes back to reproductive functions + ‘hunger gatherer times’#it creates such an echo chamber bc his essentialist ideas are what is more generally believed by cis people and since he will never go#beyond that to research the topic he will always keep believing in this popular notion that isn’t necessarily based in facts. and that’s why#i hate arguing with him. i’m stuttering and confused for a reason and that’s bc i can admit i can’t argue this topic properly 😭#💭.txt
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bibleofficial · 22 days
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ending my bender now that i’m getting up at 3pm on a tuesday when i told myself i was getting up at 9 at the Latest to do smthg for my professor i was supposed to give her yesterday -_-
#diary#my body said: we’re crashing ! but also i DID cook LAST NIGHT ACTUALLY#honestly ? i think she knows …#like … implicitly …#but did i also literally have to shit ? yes & did i HOLD IT IN until i could get HIGH FIRST#also yes#messy …#‘i don’t have a drug problem’ 🙄 girl …#but also ok i’m going to go weigh myself today bc i literally#haven’t been weighed since like september & the drs don’t weigh u here they just ask & it annoys me like can i at least have a record ? 😭😭😭#i love free data#BUT ALSO DATA THAT IVE PAYED FOR#this isn’t even like ED ‘i want to weigh myself’ this is literally a ‘i don’t know what i am & my lifestyle has significantly changed in the#past 9 months & id like to see if im where im at normally or like if ive just been eatin good re: alcohol bc literally ALSKALSKLAKSLAKSLAKSL#WHEN WE WERE DRINKING WE WERENT EATING ANYWAY LIKE 😭😭😭 that WAS the calories#anyway but still like i did pretty much stop exercising entirely & also it’s been like 9 fucking months like BRO WHAT#i’m used to goin to the gp or a dr every few months & just getting the weight & it going on my record like i Know what my Typical Weight is#like what AM I 😭😭😭😭#honestly my worry truly is that it was like when i had syphilis (i.e. ‘very unwell’) & i was looking in the mirror going ‘skinnyyyy 😍😍😍’ &#my mother said ‘u look like a corpse’ ALSKALSKALSKALKSALKSLAKSL so am i SKINNYYYY 😍😍😍 or do i look like a corpse
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thursdayg1rl · 5 months
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didn’t think I would get this far icl
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opqrstuv04 · 10 months
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the next person to grimace comically when I tell them I’m an English major is getting backed over with my Kia
#it was not funny the first time it happened it is not funny the zillionth time either#most recent offender is my manager#he grimaced and I said “hey cmon” or something like that and he immediately started to defend himself. Not so funny when the other person#doesn’t laugh with you huh!#“Well we get it every year during [non-collegiate] school so how much more of it can you learn?” and then turned around and asked me what I#thought abt the “digression of language.” Sir What Does That Mean#he asked me what I liked abt English and bc one of the things I said was linguistics he went Oh what do you think about the digression!#and I was like What? and he just repeated himself 😭 “the evolution of language?” “No the digression like- you know people on the internet”#“there’s an acronym for everything now!” And I went OHHHHHH I actually wrote my graduating paper on this!! and proceeded 2 give him a#blow by blow of CMC (computer mediated communication) and why it was an adaptation of language 2 account for the missing auditory component#n he just stared at me the whole time#you know that thing adults do where they ask you abt something and when you track about it they just :)! Mhm! like they didn’t LITERALLY#just ask you. Yeah#Do you want to read my 23 page paper? Read my 23 page paper and you’ll see how much of a “digression” CMC is and maybe you’ll learn better#English too because “digression” isn’t even the right word you were looking for. Try degradation or deterioration. God#anyways. Hitting him with my car#💌
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h4m1lt0ns · 3 months
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HEARTBREAK SYNDROME.
episode thirteen :: RIBBONS & TEA.
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ pairing ︴various drivers x y/n
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ genre ︴social media au / irl snippets
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ summary ﹔the groupchat returns, and while lewis is feeling a bit funny, y/n casually gives everyone a heart attack and calls it a surprise.
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ face claim ﹔ wonyoung jang (28)
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ warnings ﹕ excessive cussing, none.
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lewishamilton
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♡ liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc and 9,149,394 more. 
lewishamilton 📍🇬🇧
tagged: y/n, tommyhilfiger.
3,294,204 comments.
username goodnight.
username since fuckin when???
username had to double check if this actually lewis’ account
username no roscoe in sight, oh he’s serious serious 😧
username watch ur back sir hamilton v3rstabben is *allegedly* loosing his mind 🫢
username now why are you 🫵 a man 🤨 posting MY wife
username imagine being in a situationship w y/n y/l/n 😩
username ur so fucking lucky mercedes boy.
[liked by lewishamilton]
username i SCREECHED when i opened insta what the fuck.
username babe js propose to her atp.
username I KNOW the dilf gc is in SHAMBLES rn.
username oh u brave BRAVE 😧
username 49392919283 meters away from MY girl sir lewis
→ lewishamilton can you even count that far?
→ username oh ur bullying ur fans now?
→ lewishamilton idk am i?
→ username “i”. enough said.
→ username no bc why is he typing in all lowercase 🤠
→ username y/n’s influence is crazy
username but when EYE say they’re dating.
username fernando alonso is typing…
username oh you’re so father for this 😩
landonorris ..d-dad?
→ lewishamilton ..son?
→ landonorris what are we.
→ lewishamilton you have been promoted, you are now one of my elite employees 😁
→ landonorris thanks dad 🫶🏻
→ username LEWIS WHAT THE FUCK.
→ username LANDO OPEN UR FAT MOUTH U BITCH
→ landonorris ﹫lewishamilton cult lh are bullying me
→ lewishamilton okay let’s leave my son out of this.
→ username YOUR WHO?
→ lewishamilton that’s enough internet for next month
username WHAT IS COMMENT SECTION.
username IM SOOOOOOOO.
username im assuming we too have to accept lewis as our dad if lando is doing it 🙄
username ARE WE GONNA IGNORE LANDO’S COMMENT????
→ username ﹫y/n SAY SOMETHING.
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y/l/nestate
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♡ liked by lewishamilton, charles_leclerc and 13,593,204 more.
y/l/nestate behind the scenes 🍾🎀 fun things coming very soon ⭐️🩷
4,395,394 comments.
username she’s SO fucking beautiful what in the FUCK
username wowowowowowowowow
username one chance PLEASE
lewishamilton pretty
→ y/n heyyyy
→ username 3 Y’S. GIRL STAND UP
→ username i genuinely think we lost her.
→ username enD MY SUFFERING I CANT 💔💔💔
username FACE CARDDDDD 💳💳💳💳💳
username PLS SAY THE ALBUM IS COMING.
username me if you care
username SHES SO 🎀⭐️🩷🫧
username BOUNCING OF THE WALLLLLLSSSSS
username if she drops an album out of nowhere i will bang my head against the wall 🩷🩷🩷🩷
username mercedes doll 😍
→ username LEWIS I KNOW ITS YOU MF.
→ username log out of this acc lewis 🔥
→ username you too need to stand up 🫵😧
→ username let him stay down it’s Y/N Y/L/N
→ username point made 🤷🏽‍♀️
username bratz doll irl 🧎🏽‍♀️
username 😍😍😍
☆ IMESSAGE with ; BOARD OF DIRECTORS.
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honey badger: avengers assemble.
honey banger: i have easily the most important tea to spill today.
y/n: “hear yee! hear yee!” ahh text
girlfriend kika: LMFAO
babygirl alex: hear yee 😭😭😭
honey badger: it’s about max
girlfriend kika: i ain’t laughing no more 🗿
chal eclair: what does he want
chili!: no bc after the shit his team pulled i don’t think i wanna hear from anyone abt him
angel carmen: wait is it important
honey badger: it’s abt the billboards incident
princess george: oh.
my baby lando: oH?
yukino: 🔪?
honey badger: might be necessary this time
alabono: he is personally involved isn’t he 😐
honey badger: yep.
my baby lando: wait oscar needs to see this
MY BABY LANDO added PAPAYA BABY #2
papaya baby #2: i love it here already
wifey lily: oh i’m so sat
honey badger: i was ‘hanging out’ with max before the suzuka race to make it seem like we’re chill. i wasn’t there to hang w him i had a mission.
my baby lando: okay okay
chal eclair: 🤨
honey badger: i managed to get ahold of his phone then i waited until he left his drivers room
honey badger: then i switched my phone case with his to make it look like i was on my phone while i was going through his
y/n
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y/n: i would like to apologise, visa cash app driver, i, indeed was NOT familiar.
girlfriend kika: LET BRO COOK 🔥🔥🔥
chili!: oH HE IS COOKING ALRIGHT
honey badger: so i go through his messages and find a deleted group chat. a group chat with the employees that red bull fired.
chal eclair: OH HELL NOOOOO 😭😭😭
honey badger: he INSTRUCTED them to burn the billboards. specifically the ones with y/n on them.
princess george: i know he thought this was IT
alabono: bro thinks he’s him
papaya baby #2: who let bro cook
honey badger: not only that
y/n: THERES MORE?????
angel carmen: hELLO?
honey badger: he made sure to tell horner to cover for him
PIERRE GASLYYYY: no fucking wonder the fia’s investigation was wrapped up SO quickly
yukino: and their corny ass apology said it all
yukino: “team principal christian horner apologises” since fucking when
babygirl alex: ^^^^^^ REALLLL
y/n: setting up a zoom call rn we need to brainstorm
y/n: im also adding lew, seb and nando because they’ve been PlISSSSEEEDDD
chal eclair: “lew” and “nando” and i’m still waiting on my cute nickname
y/n: be grateful i love you and your fuck ass pasta 🙄
papaya baby #2: i love it SO much here
chili!: don’t get too comfortable oscar
y/n: i’m not gon tell you to leave that baby alone one more time 🗣️
papaya baby #2: thanks mum 🫶🏻
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y/n and y/l/nestate
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♡ liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz55 and 44,294,293 more.
y/n and y/l/nestate surprise lol 🎀 champagne, sex & anxiety 7/10 🥂 considering the amount of people i worked with on this album, it’s truly a fucking miracle that i managed to shut the fuck up abt it and not say anything so here u go i guess 💗🩰⭐️ no more sad songs LETSFUCKINGO !!!! i personally call this one my mona lisa and i BEG u to love it as much as i do when it comes out 🍾🤍🏹 also no twitter jumpscare this time ur welcome lmaooo :)! love u to death 🧸🫂💘
9,204,394 comments.
theweeknd my excitement exceeds the english language.
username CAN YOU BE NORMALS ABT ALBUM DROP JS FOR ONCE (1) ☝🏽 PLS.
username WAHTS FOIBG ON ????????
username WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKK Y/N
username wHY THE FUCKCKCKCKC IS SHE STILL ALLOWED TO DO THIS SKSKSKSKSKS 😭😭😭😭😭
username “no twitter jumpscare” AN INSTAGRAM JUMPSCARE ISNT ANY BETTER Y/N
lewishamilton honoured. proud of you doll 💗
→ y/n proud of u ml 🩷⭐️
→ username “ml” GIRL.
→ username OMFG ﹫mercedesamgf1 YOUR EMPLOYEES ARE FLIRTING TAKE THEM TO HR ITS ILLEGAL
→ username HR 😭😭😭
→ username GET THIS MALEEEE AWAY FROM MY WIFE 💔💔
username ITS MIDNIGHT MATE DID YOU LOSE IT
landonorris WHAT.
carlossainz55 WHAT THE HELL
danielricciardo IS THIS HOW I FIND OUT
username ARE WE ALL CONFUSED RIGHT NOW
charles_leclerc UHM YES??????
username YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
y/l/nrecords love when y/n drops music out of nowhere 🔥
→ username LMAOOOO
→ username REALLLLLL
username i’m so genuinely shocked i’ve been sitting here in silence for the past ten minutes
→ username you’re a stronger person that me i screamed so loud my neighbour broke my door bc he thought i was being murdered
→ username DAWWWGGGGGG IM WEAK 😭
username WHY IS LEWIS TAGGED ON ME & YOU
→ username SOMEJENE ANSER MER
username THESE SONG NAMES ARE GIVINGGGGG
pierregasly what in the ratatouille bullshit.
francisca.cgomes WHAT THE HELL 🔥 🔥
lilymhe YESSSSSSS
alexalbon ??????!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!!!?!!
mercedesamgf1 i literally cant wait 🤩
username yesss gaga
oscarpiastri we’ve all been on this call for four hours and we don’t even get a heads up ??
→ username CALL??
→ username “WE’VE ALL” ?????
→ username FOUR HOURS HELLO SIR.
username what in the literal fuck is going on.
username ,&/&;&2929(92&:’fwlsoqlfjje MA’AM.
username STOP THID MADDNEDS LDLE
username Y/N PLEASE
scuderiaferrari ?????????
username i can’t do it. i js can’t do it man.
username BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL
username WHY WIULD U ANNOUNCE IT LIKE THAT
username Y/N ISTG.
☆ IMESSAGE with : Unknown Number
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xxx-xxx: hey
xxx-xxx: can we talk?
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explicit-tae · 6 months
Note
for ungodly hour couple can we have jk flirt with another girl or smth to try and get a reaction out of oc so he can be like "told you youre down bad look how jealous you got" but it backfires bc she flirts w someone else right back but it ends with them fucking anyway and making up 😭🫶
I actually like the idea of that so I'll just make a quick one-shot of it 🤣
ungodly hour
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Word Count: 4.297
Warning: jealous reader, jealous jungkook, smut, yelling, kissing, dirty talking, simp jungkook, tsundere reader ofc, 69 position, oral (f/m receiving), spitting, competative jk sigh, face riding, competence kink, cum-swallowing,
“Well, well,” Jimin says as he looks up to spot you. He’s seated inside the college library at a once empty desk before you occupied it. “If it isn’t Y/N.”
You want to roll your eyes at the tone in Jimin’s voice. “In the flesh.” you say.
“What do I owe the unwelcomed visit?” Jimin drops the pen he was using to continue speaking with you.
“Ugh, Jimin, cut the shit.” you place your bag upon the table. “Jungkook told me you like me and us together.”
Jimin snickers. “I enjoy seeing my friend happy, I suppose.” he shrugs. 
“I guess that means we’re the same.” you retort.
“I'd like to say you’re more of a bitch with an attitude.” Jimin scoffs.
Your eyes widen, but you don’t want to say what you really want to - you and he would be bantering in the library and kicked out. 
You take a deep breath. “I’m going to regret this.” you murmur more to yourself than to Jimin, but the man hears and now he’s intrigued. “I need your help.”
Jimin is in fact intrigued. His attention is fully on you now. “My help?”
You nod.
“What can I give you that you can’t go to Jungkook for?” Jimin snickers.
You don’t answer and noticing, Jimin begins to smirk. 
“What do I get out of it?” 
You sigh loudly. “What do you want?” you grumble, eyes glaring at the older man.
“First, tell me what you want.” Jimin closes his textbook, finding you here before him more interesting.
You swallow. Your body was feeling hot with nerves.
You hoped Jimin wouldn’t laugh in your face and further humiliate you - or even make it worse by telling Jungkook. 
“I want to make Jungkook jealous.” you murmur so low that Jimin has to think hard to see if he’s heard you correctly. 
Jimin then begins to chuckle to himself, leaning back into the library chair. “Ah, so he was right when he told me you were jealous.”
You widen your eyes. “He told you that?!” you hiss lowly, feeling your hands clenched into fists. 
It was a week prior when it began. You and Jungkook had classes that same day, him being done only an hour before yours ended. He had texted you that he’d be in the dining hall - typical for Jungkook and his near never ending hunger. You’d usually always catch him there with someone - his friends, mostly.
That day, however, it was neither. It was a person you’ve never seen before - a girl. 
You recall the way your pace slowed as you caught where he stood, her across from him. He was nodding to something she was saying. It happens suddenly, however, the way Jungkook responds back (inaudible to you) and the girl laughs loudly. You are only a few feet away when you see the way she touches Jungkook’s chest, coming even closer.
Jungkook looks directly behind the girl and his lips form a smile. “Y/N!” he had called your name, nodding to the girl before making his way towards you. Your eyes locked to the girl he was speaking to - the look in her eyes was one you were all too familiar with. “You ready to go?” he asks you and you nodded your head, remaining silent.
“Yes, he did.” Jimin smirks at your reaction. “Said you were snappy the entire time.”
“I was not.” you declare, but you were. After all, Jungkook pursued you for months before you gave him a chance before you ultimately agreed to being his girlfriend. He had to know that was a privilege.
“Sure.” Jimin shrugs at your obvious lie. “Then why are you trying to make him jealous?”
You were beginning to regret coming to Jimin - you didn’t need him going to Jungkook with this. It would just fuel his teasing and that’s not something you wanted. 
You didn’t consider yourself to be the jealous type and you didn’t care who Jungkook was friends with - male or female. However, it was the way Jungkook reacted. His mind clicked when you were a bit distant and snappy, and that’s where it began. “You’re jealous.” he says, stopping in his tracks suddenly. You and he were halfway to his car when he made the revelation, eyes wide and soon, a smirk forming onto his lips. “That’s good. That means we’re one step closer to admitting you like me.”
And it didn’t get better. At every given chance, Jungkook would bring up Sia - the girl he was speaking to. “Sia said this ice-cream shop downtown is good. We should go.”, “Sia says this movie was good, let’s watch it together.” and it went on and on until you eventually snapped at him.
 Jungkook does it for a reaction - a scoff, a roll in your eyes or even a glare. When you snapped at him, declaring “If you’re going to keep talking about what she likes then you mind as well fuck her.”, it’s disgusting to admit that your tone turned him on - mixed with the angered look in your eyes. 
It gets the man going knowing that even you could be jealous. Maybe it wasn’t the right thing to do, but he enjoys teasing you. “You’re so down bad for me, baby. I can see it in your eyes.” he’d say. “You know you’re the only girl for me, Y/N. You don’t have to be jealous.”
“Give him a taste of his own medicine.” you shrug your shoulders. You didn’t want to go into any more detail with Jimin, after all, Jungkook was his friend. He probably already knows enough.
And know enough Jimin does. It was a week ago today when he got a call from Jungkook, asking for advice. “Maybe she’s jealous.” Jimin told him over the phone. “You can be oblivious to when girls are flirting with you.”
“Who? Sia?” Jungkook had scoffed. He hasn’t thought about other girls in months, not since he and you became intimate. “I never knew Y/N could get like that…” Jungkook trailed off, a tone that was all too familiar to Jimin. The younger man was plotting.
“You’re going to make her jealous, aren’t you?” Jimin scoffed. “I don’t think that’s wise.”
“You’re team Y/N now?” Jungkook asked. “I’m not going to flirt with Sia or even be around her. I just want Y/N to admit that she likes me.” he revealed truthfully. “Without me having to fuck it out of her.”
“Does her being with you not mean she likes you?” Jimin furrows his brows. Jungkook could be on the dumb side sometimes and the fact that he had to defend you made him want to gag. But for months it was apparent that you liked Jungkook more than you’d let on - Jimin had to hear it when Jungkook called him nearly in tears when you called yourself “his girl”.
“Stop trying to sound smart, hyung. I just want to hear her say it.” And that’s where it began - each time Jungkook got a reaction out of you, he’d tell Jimin. It was a matter of time before you’d snap - and you did; now sitting before him.
“I see. I help you and you help me.” Jimin leans forward. “Starting with what I want.”
You wait for Jimin to speak, and when he does, you’re left dumbfounded. 
“What’s the password to all of the streaming services?”
You blink a few times, trying to register what Jimin said. “That’s…out of everything you can ask for-”
“I need to get back to The Real Housewives.” Jimin waves you off. “Now, passwords before I help you.”
“YNloves97.” you tilt your head.
Jimin rolls his eyes. “I hate simps.” he murmurs, but he writes it down on a sheet of paper before turning his attention back to you. “Now, how far are you trying to go?”
You swallow. “Not that far.” you admit. You couldn’t see yourself flirting with someone else - besides, Jungkook would know you were trying to make him jealous and that would make his head grow even bigger.
“I know my friend, Y/N. If you try too hard, he’s not going to fall for it. You have to be subtle.” Jimin exclaims. “He knows how unapproachable you are.”
“Unapproachable?” you’re taken aback once more at Jimin’s choice of words. “What does that mean?”
“Exactly what I said. You have a resting bitch face and you’ve turned down so many guys that no one wants to approach you anymore. Jungkook is seen as a conqueror for being able to have you.” Jimin states matter-of-factly.
You sigh in defeat because damn was Jimin correct. You recall back when Jungkook and you went on the “picnic-movie-dinner” and he exclaimed how he knows there's guys that want you, but he was the one that had you.
Fuck Jeon Jungkook.
Jimin swallows, a disdainful look in his eyes. “Do you want to hangout?”
“What?”
“Do you…want to hangout?” Jimin repeats, appearing even more disgusted. “It’s part of the plan, trust me.”
“I-I guess.” you murmur, unsure of how this was going to go. But Jimin and Jungkook were best friends and if you were going to trust anyone about your plan, it’d have to be him.
The following week goes by and Jungkook notices a shift.
The most uncommon shift was you and Jimin together. When you had told Jungkook that you couldn’t study with him because you were doing so with Jimin, he had laughed. He assumed it was a joke, until it wasn’t.
Jungkook was fine with it, of course. He wanted you and Jimin to get along.
What Jungkook wasn’t fine with was the amount of times you’d speak of Jimin and how, in your words, “He’s actually fun to be around.”, “I convinced Jimin to listen to this podcast with me while we studied”, “It’s okay, I’ll just ask Jimin.” - and the fact that you were going to someone else for something instead of him was what truly got his blood boiling.
“I invited Jimin, hope that’s okay.” you said, dropping next to Jungkook. You were in the living room of your home, Chaeyoung showering up the stairs and soon joining you and him. It was only a study session - exams coming just around the corner. 
“Did you?” Jungkook snickers. “Why?”
“Why not?” you shrug with a short giggle. “Don’t we all need to study?”
Jungkook remains quiet, not wanting to think too much into it.
There was no way he was jealous. Jimin was his friend and there was no reason to be.
But when there was a knock on the door. You had risen to answer it, and that was the cherry on top - the way you hugged Jimin, greeting him with a wide smile.
You hadn’t even hugged Jungkook that way - or even appeared to be happy that he was there. When did you and Jimin grow so close? It wasn’t long ago that you were butting heads over streaming services. Now, the two of you were hugging, your arms wrapped firmly around him.
“Is the plan still on?” Jimin murmurs to you, feeling the burning hole Jungkook is burning through him. 
“Yes.” you murmur back. You avoid Jungkook’s eyes, especially when you feel Jimin light tap the low of your back.
Jungkook watches your next move, not taking his eyes off of you. You bring yourself back next to Jungkook on the couch, finally meeting his eyes. He doesn’t say anything  to you, only watching with tense eyes.
“I ordered pizza.” Chaeyoung says, almost on cue. Her hair is damp as she comes through. “Should be here in a few.”
You want to laugh at how giddy you feel right now. Jungkook’s reaction. You aren’t going to feel guilty - he started this first.
It was Jimin’s idea after all. “I would rather die than flirt with you.” Jimin snarls. The feeling was mutual. “But Jungkook is a territorial person. He’ll grow jealous of you hanging out with anyone that isn’t him.”
And that’s where it began - the constant “study” sessions that truly had you and Jimin bickering with one another. “I agreed to listen to your murder podcast but watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey is where you draw the line?” Jimin snapped one day.
However, Jimin was correct. He knew Jungkook like the back of his hand and his plan was working smoothly. 
A study session always started well and ended with loud chatter and laughs - only Jungkook sulked on the couch, while you, Chaeyoung and Jimin gathered around the low coffee table to eat.
“Here, try this.” Jimin shoves his pizza in your face - it has a variety of toppings on it and you want to gag at the sight of it. You want to shake your head because damn did it look disgusting, toppings nearly falling all over the place, but Jimin eyes widen and he slightly nods. 
You open your mouth and take a bite, allowing Jimin to feed you the pizza - and Jungkook’s had enough of watching you and him.
“Y/N doesn’t even like all those toppings.” Jungkook hisses, shoving the pizza away from you. It falls into Jimin’s lap sloppily, and the older man groans.
“Kook, what the hell?” Jimin cleans the pizza from his lap, glaring at his younger friend. “What’s your problem-”
“I think you should go.” Jungkook exclaims.
“No he doesn’t.” you are quick to defend Jimin, and inside you’re screaming, wanting to laugh in Jungkook’s obviously jealous face. “What’s going on with you?”
Jungkook’s taken aback. “Since when are you and Jimin friends?” he hisses, not intending for his voice to be as low. “Jimin’s my friend.”
Luckily you’ve told Chaeyoung the plan, or she would have thought you had two friends fighting for you. She takes a sip of her soda to hide her laughter. 
“Please don’t fight over me.” Jimin chuckles. “There’s enough of me to go around.”
“You should be happy that I’m being friends with your friends.” you cross your arms. “Or do you prefer we butt heads?”
Jungkook would prefer you and Jimin to do nothing at all, like before. He hides his remark because in the end, Jimin was his friend and he truly would never accuse anything of him - but he couldn’t help how he feels.
“Can I talk to you in private, Y/N?” Jungkook murmurs, his eyes intense.
Jimin watches as you and Jungkook walk up the stairs and down the hall, not speaking until he hears a door close.
“Turn the TV up.” Chaeyoung says suddenly, taking a bite of her pizza. “They’re going to fuck it out right about now.”
Jimin doesn’t have to be told twice.
“What the fuck are you doing with Jimin?” Jungkook hiss as soon as the door to your bedroom is closed. “And don’t give that mush-mouth shit either, Y/N.”
You shrug. “The same thing you’re doing with Sia.”
Jungkook stops in his tracks. You sit at the edge of your bed with crossed arms.
“Sia?” Jungkook looks at you as if he had no idea what you were speaking of. “Sia?” he repeats.
“Sia.” you mock with a scoff. “Yes, Jungkook.”
Jungkook inhales deeply before exhaling. He tilts his head for a moment, your words repeating in his mind. 
“I don’t hang out with Sia. I don’t even talk to her.” Jungkook proclaims, a snarky tone in his voice.
“Sia likes this, Sia does that, Sia goes here, we should go there.” you mock Jungkook’s voice the best you could. “But I watch a little Housewives with Jimin and it’s a problem?” It was a problem, because there was only so much New Jersey you could watch.
Jungkook’s eyes begin to squint, and then widen. It was like a lightbulb went off. 
“You were trying to make me jealous. And you had Jimin help you do it.” Jungkook exclaims.
“Did not,” you scoff.
“You did.”
“Not.”
“You always avoid my gaze when you’re lying, Y/N.” Jungkook sighs in relief. He had to hand it to you, you and Jimin were determined - and your plan worked entirely well. 
“Fuck you.” you hiss. “Isn’t that what you were doing first?” you quip, now rising to your feet. “Then you lie about it.”
Jungkook’s head snaps towards you. “Lie? About what?”
“Turn the T.V. down!” Chaeyoung murmurs, hearing the rise in your voice. 
“Already on it.” Jimin responds. 
“You said you don’t talk to Sia which is kinda weird seeing as you seem to know so much about what she likes.”
“You go through all of this instead of admitting you like me, Y/N?” Jungkook begins to laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. “You like me. You’re down bad for me just as I am for you.”
You roll your eyes at Jungkook’s words. 
“Stop avoiding what I said.”
“I’m not lying.” Jungkook retorts. “Can we admit you’re jealous of Sia-”
“Fuck you and her disrespectfully.” you bellowed, venom laced in your words. You’re even surprised at how it came out. 
Jungkook licks his lips. “I only talked to Sia that one time in the dining hall,” he admits. “I…I did lie about everything I told you she said. I never spoke to her after.”
You blink a few times, registering his words. 
“What?”
“I just wanted to hear you admit that you were jealous.” now that Jungkook hears himself, his plan sounded stupidly childish. “Admit that you like me-”
“Like you?” you scoff. “You met my parents.”
“Because you were hiding the fact that I wasn’t your boyfriend.” Jungkook shrugs. 
“At the time.” you tilt your head. “I’m with you all the time. I watch your nerdy movies-”
“And I watch your serial killer documentaries!” Jungkook defends. 
“Exactly.” you wave your hands around. “How could you think I don’t like you when we’re constantly together?”
Jungkook understands that you make valid points, but he was but a man and how was he supposed to feel? “I just want to hear you say it.” he shrugs his shoulders, unsure what else to say. “You only say it when I’m fucking you into oblivion-”
“Okay,” you lift your hand to pause his speech. “please don’t get ahead of yourself there.”
“Just say you like me.” Jungkook steps closer to you, reaching out for you. He has a small smile on his lips. “Just admit that you like me, baby. You’re so down bad for me that you somehow got Jimin to make me jealous of your fraudulent friendship.”
Jungkook’s holding you now, arms embracing you entirely. 
“What’s understood doesn’t need to be said.” you murmur, melting into his embrace. You inhale his scent, enjoying the freshly clean scent of his cologne.
“It does.” Jungkook kisses your forehead. He wonders if Jimin told you how he reacted over the phone when you called yourself his girl. It wouldn’t bother him because you know how he feels already.
You roll your eyes. “I…like you.” you say against his chest.
Jungkook pushes you back. “Excuse me?”
“I already said-”
“No, say it again. Without a dick in you-”
You slap his hand from your shoulders. “Oh wow, fuck you-”
“I will.” Jungkook nods erratically. “You can sit on my face until you’re shaking with pleasure, then I’ll fuck you until you’re begging-”
“I like you, Jungkook.” your body heats up at his words and of course, your legs clench for friction. It was as if you and he weren’t just in a disagreement not too long ago. “Ugh, I hate you.”  you murmur when you see the smirk forming on his lips. 
“Hate that you like me.” Jungkook squeals, far too giddy than he should be. “Take your clothes off, baby.”
“They don’t waste any time.” Jimin snorts, wiping his mouth with a napkin. 
“Turn the T.V. up again. Jungkook’s about to fuck some more love confessions out of her.” Chaeyoung warns.
Jungkook’s nails dig into the skin of your thigh, gripping entirely too tight to fight off his nerves. His tongue laps your clit vigorously - with such need. It’s almost like it gave him pleasure by pleasuring you. 
Your hands wrap around the length of his cock, pumping up and down slowly - just because you want to tease him. His tongue laps even harder when you begin to pump faster, smothering himself against you. 
Jungkook groans, the vibration feeling against your clit. You allow the saliva to pool from your tongue and onto his clit, tightening your grip. You then decide to take him in your mouth, the salty taste of his pre-cum hitting your taste buds.You assure to add more saliva to jerk him while you suckle along the tip.
Jungkook’s hand rubs along your ass then upwards towards your back, He gently bites your thigh. “You’re so good, baby…”
Jungkook presses a kiss against your clit before he continues on his assault upon your clit. You want to tell him to stop - you were supposed to be pleasuring him, too, but Jungkook always made things harder. Naturally, Jungkook was competitive, and it was as if he was competing to see who would cum first.
And with the way Jungkook now adds his fingers, pumping entirely just as fast as his tongue suckles on your clit - you were going to lose.
You take Jungkook into your mouth fully, his tip hitting your throat. Jungkook twitches, and that’s when you know you had it. You lay your tongue flat, continuing to suck him fully. You were just as stubborn as Jungkook was, and now it was a game to see who was going to win - even if you’re certain you’d just become submissive like always and allow him to take control.
Jungkook’s groaning against your pussy now, trying everything in him to not lose (lose a battle that should have never started), but you were slurping him entirely too good for him to not want to.
“J-Just cum, already.” you cave, his cock popping out of your mouth, saliva dripping down the corner of your mouth. 
“You first.” Jungkook huffs. “Ride my face.”
“Fuck…you…” you groan, but you do as Jungkook asks. Your hips begin to roll, clit grinding against Jungkook’s tongue. 
Jungkook keeps his hands permanently on your ass, allowing you to take control of your orgasm. He’s satisfied that you’ve decided to cave, his competitive nature satisfied. Now, all you have to do is cum.
You bite your lip to suppress a loud moan - Jimin and Chaeyoung were just downstairs. But you were going to cum on Jungkook’s tongue like he intended, not understanding how you yet again lost the battle against Jeon Jungkook.
Fuck Jeon Jungkook.
Jungkook moans against your clit, a low whine releasing from your sweet lips Your thighs are quivering as you are coming to your high, eyes fluttering close and your head hanging.
You fall against your bed with a sigh. You needed to catch your breath.
“My pretty girl.” Jungkook smiles down at you, now hovering above you. “Are you hungry?”
“Shut up.” you scoff. 
Jungkook’s smile doesn’t falter.
“I was watching porn earlier.” you began. “I want you to fuck my breasts.”
Jungkook chokes at your words, flushing red. “What-”
“Put your dick between my breasts,” you begin, speaking slowly. “and fuck them.”
Jungkook quickly nods, already feeling the familiar throb in his cock. 
“You’re so good for me, Y/N.” Jungkook speaks.
“Put it in my mouth first.” you instruct. “So it can be lubricated.”
Jungkook groans but nods. You suck on his cock for a moment before popping it out of your mouth. Jungkook then hovers above your breast, gulping.
Jungkook moans, pressing your breast together as he begins to thrust. Your tongue dips out so you could lick the tip of his tip each time he thrust forward. 
Both of Jungkook’s thumbs rub along your nipples, his thrusting becoming faster. You're so beautiful and Jungkook would never get tired of saying it. He’s never thought about fucking your breast, but now as he’s doing so, he can’t imagine not doing it again.
You had to admit watching Jungkook fuck your breast was hot - but that was also because Jungkook was hot. There’s sweat lining his forehead and his lips are forming a small ‘o’ shape. Maybe this is what Jungkook felt like when he was pleasuring you - it was because of you that Jungkook was appearing in pure ecstasy.
“You really do like me, baby.” chuckled Jungkook deeply. His fingers twist your nipples. “I can’t believe you’d thought I would ever be interested in that girl.”
You hum, glad that Jungkook didn’t say her name.
“You know you’re the only girl for me, baby.”
“You can cum in my mouth.” you moan, opening your mouth wider and poking your tongue out. 
Jungkook grumbles with a shake of his head. His thrusts become even faster, sloppier. His hands grip your breast entirely in his palms. “My pretty girl,” he pants. “so, so pretty. So good for m-me…” Jungkook’s voice cracks, twitching as he cums.
Jungkook’s cum hits your tongue - warm, salty and great. It’s an abundance, so much cum that a bit drips down your chin. You swallow, licking your lips.
Jungkook falls next to you, legs twitching with ecstasy. He swallows the lump in his throat. He brings you closer to him, kissing your lips entirely. 
“My pretty girl.”
“Ugh,” you groan. “I hate simps.”
Jungkook allows you to fall against his chest and it rumbles as he laughs.  “You’re so down bad for me, Y/N. It's so obvious now.” he teases. “I’ll fuck another confession out of you later.”
You slap his chest, but the throbbing between your legs is evident that you were anticipating his words to be true.
DRABBLE 2 | DRABBLE 3
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