#adara means beauty

[petedavidsonscock]

elliot/adara my BELOVED my darling my beauty and my joy. two of the smartest meanest diva-est people in the whole camp being smart and mean and divas at each other. they’re so awesome. i need them to be best friends forever once adara sorts her shit out re: natalie. like genuinely they have such good and fun chemistry i love them.

[cressidagrey]

What's in a Name: A Court of Gold and Shadows

A Court of Gold and Shadows: 

Lots of names here! 

Oriana Fireborn Belmond

“Dawn, gold” 

Oriana is the “Gold” in A Court of Gold and Shadows, so she needed a name to match. There is a definite theme of Fire/Precious Metals going in my naming of my Tartera Faeries. 

In medieval legend Oriana was the daughter of a king of England who married the knight Amadis…her grandmother is the next thing to a Queen the Tartera have, with her mother and sister next in line, which makes Oriana something like a Princess. 

Fireborn is a honorific and was given to her because Oriana was literally born in the rings of fire that surround the Eternal Flame. 

Belmond literally means "beautiful mountain”, and she is a Tartera Faerie, who was born in the mountains surrounding the night court. 

Cyra, Custodian of the Mountain

“Throne”

She is the nearest thing Tartera’s have to a Queen, to I wanted a “regal” name. This fit the bill beautifully. 

Adara, First Daughter

“Noble”

Adara is the Heiress to Cyra and as such was also given a name that shows her position in the mountains. 

Titania, First Daughter of the First Daughter

“Titanium”

The first of Ariana’s siblings that follow the Fire/Precious Metals naming theme in that family. Titanium is incredibly resistant to specific pressures like bending or cracking. Unlike certain other materials, it is extremely tough to snap a titanium band. Titania is a very harsh character in a lot of ways, with a hard shell, though a surprisingly soft core. She may not always be the nicest to her sibling, though whoever treats them badly, will rue that day, because Titania will come down on them like a ton of bricks. 

Kiran

“Beam of light” 

For me, he is definelty the lightest of Oriana’s siblings and spends most of his days in the forge, always there with a quip on his lips. 

Samson

“Sun, shield”

A member of the rare Guard the Tartera has, Samson is the only one in Oriana’s family that was trained to fight. Even like that, Tartera do not go to war, his position a purely defensive one. A shield to keep the mountain safe. 

Enya, Second Daughter of the First Daughter

“Little Fire”

 Of all her siblings, probably closest to Oriana in pure magical potential, which is why she got a name meaning “little” fire. A very knowledgeable healer, that will never be interested in romantic relationships. 

Cyrus

“Sun”

Oriana’s only full sibling, he is the sun to her dawn. Also the only one of her siblings that absolutely has no Tartera abilities whatsoever. 

Toron

“a family once having lived near a thorn bush or hedge”

Toron lost his leg in a mining accident that also claimed the life of Oriana’s and Cyrus’ father. Because of that I wanted a name that signified the hardship he went through. 

Althea

“Healing”

The only daughter of Titania and Toron was born after decades of fertility issues. 

In Greek mythology Alther was the mother of Meleager. Soon after her son was born she was told that he would die as soon as a piece of wood that was burning on her fire was fully consumed. She immediately extinguished the piece of wood and sealed it in a chest, but in a fit of rage many years later she took it out and set it alight, thereby killing her son. (This is definitely not what I am planning with her character, but I love the fact that her myth had something to do with fire) 

Briony

“climbing plant”

Hailing from the Autumn Court, Cyrus’ wife has a botanical name and dark auburn hair. (It can also be seen because she “climbed” the societal ladder, marrying something akin to Tartera Royalty, and has never cared one bit about it.) 

Sienna

“orange-red”

Named for her paternal family’s penchant for roaring flames and her red hair. 

Finley

“Courageous one”

The middle kid of Cyrus and Briony, with the ability to always get into trouble. 

Rory

“red”

Just like his older sister, also named for red hair and autumn heritage. 

Wynstan

“Joyful stone”

Oriana’s late husband got a name that totally doesn’t fit him because I was in a sarcastic mood. A stony, and very much not joyful marriage was the result of the political match between Oriana and Wynstan. 

Titus

“Title of honor”

And for Wynstan’s dishonourable brother we got a name that means the exact opposite!. 

[archoniluthradanar]

FATHER'S DAY

It's said that a girl's first true love is her father. It's also said that a wise father knows his own child.

The first saying applied to Aro's daughter, but the second saying did not apply to Aro.

Before Aro Di Volturi had become a vampire and come to lead the largest coven on the planet, he was a bard by profession, then called Aranaro. He traveled the countryside of ancient Greece sharing his gift of music and epic verse. Bards were not just entertainers during that time, but rather, they served to spread the news from city-state to city-state, or polis, as they were then called. Aranaro was so well known, that people would await his arrival to hear what was happening elsewhere. They would gather at the local agora to sit and listen to his tales of gods and heroes, war and peace, rulers and philosophers.

Sometimes, Aranaro would be invited to private homes to regale guests with his tales. During one such visit, a well-to-do woman invited him to her home, but the performance she wanted from him was not his music and prose. From their short-term amorous dalliance, a daughter was born. When she had presented the infant to Aranaro, on seeing the baby with a head full of silky black hair, as black as his own, he fell completely in love. He called her Adara, meaning beauty.

When the baby's mother died a few years later, the child was given to a family member to raise. By this time, Aranaro had not only become a man of some means because of his connections, he had also become a vampire and had shortened his name to Aro. He was determined to find his daughter and raise her himself, before she came of age and was married off by her adoptive family.

After locating the family of his former lover, Aro waited for the inhabitants to bed down for the night. He entered the house under cover of darkness, sneaking into the nursery. Once he had dispatched the sleeping nursemaid, he bent over the small bed the child was sleeping on, looking down at her in the dark. Strands of long black hair fell over her face. He had only to carefully reach down and move the hair off her face to see she was her father's daughter.

Slipping his arms beneath her, Aro gathered the blanket around her and swiftly carried the child away. She only began to awaken as they had reached his home. His sister Didyme was there, wanting to ask her brother who the new arrival was.

"Aro, what have you done? Who is this child?" Didyme demanded of her brother. She removed the girl from his arms, and took her to one of the bedrooms, laying her on what would be her bed from now on.

"She's my daughter, sister, sired before my change. Her human mother had died, and she was left with relatives. I will be taking charge of her now."

The girl rubbed her eyes and asked where she was. Aro sat on the bed at her side, taking her hand in his. "Eímai o patéras sou, paidí. (I am your father, child.)

You have never been a father to me.

True to his word, Aro was responsible for his daughter's upbringing, and as his wealth increased, he gave her everything he felt would fulfill her needs. As Adara grew older, he saw to her education in the arts and sciences, just like male children of the time, hiring only the best tutors.

Her understanding of things too complex for ordinary minds filled him with pride. Her love of art meant they could talk for hours about the current artists of the day and their techniques using the different media. He and Adara would discuss scientific discoveries created from times immemorial and speculate what the future might bring. Aro would often brag about her accomplishments with Marcus and Caius, who wondered if she would be allowed to remain with them as a human. For her part, Didyme took the place of a mother to her niece, and the two became very close along with Didyme's mate, Marcus.

The times Adara spent with her father, though, were special to her. When younger, she would sit on his lap and play with his long hair while he told her stories of the past. When she was older, they would sit side by side, listening to music played by local musicians while he told her about his vision for the future of their growing coven.

When Adara turned eighteen, Aro gave her the gift of a hammered gold ring inset with a polished round ruby. He placed it on the middle finger of her right hand, and hugged her tightly. "I love you, my daughter. You are my greatest pride and joy."

She returned his hug, smiling, "I love you, Father." She knew what he was, and she dreamed that one day, she would become a vampire too.

You have never been a father to me.

Aro's goal was to strengthen his growing coven, thus making them all safe. In his mind, it was a father's responsibility to keep his child safe. There was a solution for his concerns however.

When her 20th birthday approached, he asked Adara if she wanted the immortal life. She hugged him tightly, saying yes to his offer, her love for Aro so strong, she wanted to be with him forever. She had known the entire coven were vampires, and she wanted to belong with them. Aro was pleased that she had agreed so quickly. He decided he would change her himself, just as he had his sister Didyme. They were family of the same mortal blood after all.

On her 20th birthday, the day he had chosen for her transformation, Aro led his daughter to her bedroom. He instructed her to lie back on her bed, and asked her to relax. He tried to reassure Adara that the worst would be over soon.

"Father, I'm afraid."

"Mi fovásai, kalí mou." (Don't be afraid, my dear.)

Aro stood on the left side of the bed, looking down at her. He brushed his fingertips over her flushed cheeks. "It will hurt, child, but only for a while. Once the transformation is complete, you will never be in danger."

He kissed her forehead before sitting down on the bed. "When I bite you, you mustn't move. It will only hurt for a while, then I will be here to hold you during the pain of the change. I won't leave you, I promise. O patéras sou eínai edó." (Your father is here.)

Didyme sat on the right side of the bed, holding her niece's hand. She smiled down at her reassuringly, waiting for Aro to begin the process. She turned her niece's head to face Aro, then brushed back the long ebony hair from her face and neck. "I went through this myself, Adara. It will be all right." She bent to give her a kiss on the cheek.

Adara grabbed Aro's arm, her fingers clutching at his sleeve. He removed her hand and held it, letting her squeeze as hard as she needed to. She closed her eyes as he bent closer to her, his mouth touching her neck. Adara felt his cool breath on her skin, then the intense pain of his bite. She gasped once before screaming.

You have never been a father to me.

Over the decades, Aro had gathered more vampires to his coven. The entire family eventually moved to Italy, settling in the city of Volterra, where Aro would continue to find gifted humans to change or welcome those who were already gifted vampires. The more power he gained, the less time he had for his daughter. Adara felt as his desire for power increased, his love for her lessened. While it was true he had less time for her, he still loved her. For someone who had all the time in the world, sharing that time with the one he cared most about became more difficult for the Volturi leader.

Members of the coven, knowing Adara was Aro's daughter, treated her with respect, which meant she had no true friends among them. Feelings of isolation began to affect her. Didyme had tried to be a mother to her, but she craved her father's love. When Didyme had been killed, it left a hole in Adara's life. Her uncle Marcus had gone into so deep a depression, there was nothing that could reach him. It was as if she had lost both her aunt and uncle.

Aro, never having the time to read her as he had when they talked together, was unaware of his daughter's sadness.

You have never been a father to me.

Adara made a beautiful vampire. When one of the guards fell in love with her, she reciprocated, happy that someone freely loved her. Aro found out, and in anger, pulled the guard's head from his body, and ordered the vampire's body parts burned. He tried to explain to her that the guard was not worthy of her. And because of this incident, no one else attempted to get close to her. Even though she was one of them, Adara had never felt more alone. They respected her as their leader's offspring, but they did not befriend her.

Aro spent more and more of his time in meetings and presiding over the trials of vampires who broke the law. Sitting on his throne in the audience room, his eyes would search for his daughter, but then his attention would be drawn away.

She would go to the gazebo out back and sit alone, save for a small kitten she had found wandering the garden. The kitten did not fear her and happily played with her or slept in her lap, purring.

One day, it had playfully tried to scratch her, not knowing it could not hurt her, but Adara angrily bit the kitten in the throat, breaking its neck.

When Aro found out what had happened, he berated her, not for killing the animal, but for losing control of her emotions.

"You have never been a father to me." Adara faced Aro in the throne room, having made her decision. It wasn't easy for her, but it was necessary.

Her words cut into his unbeating heart as no others ever had. Had he not given her everything she wanted, including immortality?

"How can you say that, child? Weren't we everything to one another?" It was true. He loved Adara for being the only child he would ever have. What would he do if she left Volterra. "Did I not give you everything your heart desired? How can you honestly believe me to be a unloving father when everything I did was for you."

Venom welled up in her eyes, unable to be shed. "I have nothing! Even though you stand here before me, you're already far away. I've lost my aunt. My uncle doesn't even care about living anymore. I have no friends here. No purpose. Out there, in the mortal world, I can build my own life and no longer be content just to live in your shadow."

"I am your father, Adara!" he cried out vehemently. He then whispered, "Don't leave me." He held out his hands, pleading with her. "Please, let me make amends..."

"No, it's too late. I'm leaving, Aro. I no longer wish to remain here in Volterra. I no longer wish to remain here with you."

She left the room so fast, she never heard his words begging her forgiveness.

Aro walked up the steps to his throne, and sat in the empty room, disconsolate. Perhaps if he went to speak with her, and ask for the chance to be the father she wanted, Adara would listen.

When Aro entered his daughter's room, he discovered she had indeed gone. Several of her belongings were missing, and her closet was empty of most of her clothing. He saw two items lying on her bed. One was the Volturi crest pendant he had given her once the design had been completed, to show she was a Volturi. It had been crushed, the twisted pieces lying on the bed.

The second item was the ruby ring he had gifted her when she had turned 18 years. She'd never removed it since the day he himself had slipped it on her finger.

Aro picked up the ring, slipping it onto his forefinger. It was too small for him, but he left it as high up as it would go. Why did she have to be so cruel to him? As leader of the Volturi, there would be times he would not be available to her, but he never failed to think about her, or do anything for her. Had her life with him been so harsh? He found no way to justify her actions, his mind was so centered around his desires and not hers. He may have read her infrequently for her privacy's sake. Perhaps had he read her more often, he would have known his actions were not the ones she wanted from him.

To Aro's way of thinking, he had done nothing wrong. He had loved Adara from the moment he had first gazed upon her, and she had thrown his love back in his face. He could order Demetri to track her and bring her home. But this was the 20th century, and he decided to allow her come home of her own accord.

If she ever returned, he promised himself he would change. If she ever returned.

A/N : Giving credit to kyilliki of Tumblr for a post I saw there. I loved her theory as to what Aro's original Mycenaean Greek name was 

[elizaellwrites]

OC Name Meaning Tag

Since I've done an edition for their English Names Here. I'm thinking that I'll do a version for their Native Hecathian Names just because I think it's cool.

Thank you to @my-cursed-prince for the tag. This will be interesting!

Allenesaia (Annamarie): Cherished Blossom.

Origin- Lunahsi Culture

Jesan (Jacob): Night Sky.

Origin- Wotakouran Culture

Kenesul (Cameron): Ocean Breeze.

Origin- Southern Wotakouran Culture

Reshara (Rachel): Greatest Gift.

Origin- Siyklaran Culture

Eriah (Elaine): Variation spelling of Ariya, the name of their planet.

Origin- Esdawian Culture

Batil (Ben): Soul's Song.

Origin- Caldesarian Culture

Rithzi (Ryan): Hope's Flame.

Origin- Edreli Culture

Erelus (Eleanor): Graceful Wisdom.

Origin- Eoksaran Culture

Adara (Amber): Rising Sun.

Origin- Wotakouran Culture

Relaesi (Roselle): Shining Beauty.

Origin- Caldesarian Culture

Tagging with no pressure: @klywrites, @late-to-the-fandom, @verba-writing, @the-printed-words, and anyone else who is interested!

[typing-noises]

name meanings: royalty

you guys loved our water names posts— so now it’s time for names with royalty-related meanings! these are names that either signify royalty/nobility, belong to prominent royal figures, or mean qualities that royal figures should embody.

maybe there's a royal figure in your WIP that just needs the perfect name...or you're looking to play around with something like foreshadowing :) read on for some names with royalty-related meanings!

—

feminine

albertine (german) - noble/intelligent

alice (french) - of a noble kind

adara (arabic/hebrew) - noble/exalted

anastasia (russian) - ressurection. anastasia nikolaevna was a grand duchess and the daughter of the last czar of russia

beatrice (latin) - bringer of joy. princess beatrice is a member of the british royal family

catherine (french) - pure/clear. catherine has been the name of many royal figures throughout history, such as catherine of aragon, catherine howard and catherine (kate) middleton

cordelia (welsh) - jewel of the sea. after cordelia of britain

diana (latin) - heavenly, divine

elizabeth (greek) - oath to god. probably self explanatory enough? queen elizabeth i and ii of the uk

gwyneth - white, fair and blessed. the name of an ancient welsh kingdom

helen (greek) - light. helen of troy is a famous princess in greek mythology, renowned for her beauty

isolde (welsh) - ice ruler

kate (latin) - pure

lucia (light) - graceful/light

makeda (hebrew) - the beautiful. queen makeda ruled the kingdom of sheba

noor (arabic) - light

rosalind (spanish) - beautiful rose

sophia - wisdom. sophia of hanover was a member of the house of stuart

thyra (scandinavian) - thor’s struggle. two danish princesses had the name thyra

victoria - victory/conquer

xenia (greek) - hospitality

zara (arabic) - beautiful

—

masculine

archie (german) - genuine/bold/brave. archie harrison mountbatton-windsor is the son of meghan markle and prince harry, the duke and duchess of sussex (britain)

arthur (roman) - noble, courageous

alaric (german) - all powerful ruler

alexander (greek) - defender of men. the name of alexander the great, king of macedon and ruler of a vast empire

augustus (latin) - majestic/venerable/noble. title given by the roman senate to octavian, adopted son of julius caesar

christopher (greek) - bearer of christ

charles (english) - free men. name of the current heir to the english throne, prince charles of wales

david (hebrew) - beloved

edel (german) - noble

jalo (finnish) - noble/gracious

kareem (arabic) - noble/generous

lon (spanish) - noble

oberon (english) - noble and bearlike

—

neutral

avery (english & french) - ruler of elves

anton (latin) - of inestimable worth

kalani (hawaiian) - royal/majesty

kinsey (english) - this name is made up of the words 'cyne', meaning royal, and 'sige', meaning victory

reign (latin) - royal power

thron (native american) - seat of royalty

—

we hope this new names list was helpful and feel free to dm us or comment down below if there's anything incorrect :)

[ecargmura]

Astro Note Episode 12 Review + Final Thoughts - Happy Endings For All

The ending, while happy, was something I did not expect and that’s a good thing. I mean, I didn’t predict that this show would turn into a mech one and that the mecha robot would be participating in a final battle Astro Lodge and fish aliens. I like the unpredictability this show gives!

I didn’t expect that the reason the Hubby king was after Mira was so he could marry and have babies with her. He failed with Adara, so he was settling for Mira. The reason why he wanted to marry a Wido was because he wanted to have beautiful and talented children. That’s a very dumb reason, but I didn’t see that coming. I’m guessing Widos are objectified and glamorized like how Asians are objectified and glorified by Western countries. I also didn’t expect that Shoin’s house was a spaceship and that it cannot transform into a mech like Mira’s. He was promised marriage with Mira if he abided to the Hubby king’s order, but it was all a lie. Geez, all these people are trying to court Mira, but Takumi comes out the victor because she professes her love for him to the aliens.

I also didn’t predict that the Astro Lodge tenants would be chilling and eating food. They’re so free-spirited! Though, if I was in my house that turned into a spaceship and I wasn’t the one piloting it, I too would be chilling and waiting until the pilot finishes their task. Freaking out over alien attacks would only last a moment.

Mira decides to renounce her right to the throne and decide to stay on Earth and on Astro Lodge as its landlady. I honestly did not predict this. Usually, these types of stories have it to where someone from another planet would go back and leave Earth. Astro Note breaks all of those cliche tropes. She says that she doesn’t want to be tied down by duties she doesn’t want and rule a place she had no attachment towards. Honestly, go Mira for chasing after what she wants! I’m glad that she actually decides to stay!

Mira’s decision of not wanting to be tied down actually inspires the tenants. They all get happy endings, surprisingly! Ren decides to wear skirts to school and it seems that his friend Haruto and the girl with the frilly dress are okay with it! Tomihiro feels proud that Ren is becoming confident and it seems that he got a job of his own too! Aoi finally gets a job as a legal assistant to Tasuke’s lawyer, the lady who helped her out with Tasuke when she was homeless. She even grew to like dogs as she is seen petting her boss’s Cavalier Spaniel at the same bench Shokichi sat on. While the Naosuke and Aoi romance didn’t happen, I’m glad that it stayed a platonic relationship. He’s the reason why she became more assertive now. She even gave Naosuke a radio so he can remember her with it; she even submitted an entry so that Naosuke can listen to the song she requested on the radio. Aw, it’s like what he did for her in the previous episode. Teruko is finally seeing some success as an idol as she’s on the front cover of a magazine! I seriously thought Shokichi died, but it was a fake out. It turns out that he wants to go to space with Naosuke and visit Planet Wid so that he can write a book about it; he’s trying to finish writing a sci-fi novel that revolves around a man meeting a space alien girl—sort of like Adara and Mira’s situations. Takumi gets a job in a restaurant where he works lunch shift. I didn’t expect Shoin to end up being a tenant for good and returns to being Takumi’s apprentice. He is last seen working at a bakery where he’s a hit with the female customers. The only one who didn’t get a happy end was the Hubby king and he deserves a bad end for all the trouble he caused.  I actually like that everyone got happy endings and that there’s no need for a Season 2! Everything concluded satisfactorily. 

However, Naosuke is going to go back because he wants to. Mira revokes his duty of protecting her for life, so he decides that he’s going to protect the key. I guess that’s his version of a happy ending? At least Shokichi will come along with him, so he has a remnant of Earth with him.

This is probably one of the happiest endings I’ve seen in anime. While some things did get rushed, it was a nice blend of comedy, romcom and sci-fi.

Final Thoughts

I just decided to watch Astro Note because it looked like a weird anime and I figured out I was a weird anime enjoyer. Yes, it was weird, but it was surprisingly entertaining! I do like that the writing makes it in a way that some predictable things aren’t as predictable as I would assume like with the whole ordeal with Ren liking skirts or the whole finale.

It’s not a perfect anime, but I did enjoy the characters and gags a lot. However, if I were to be a critic, I’d say that not all characters got fleshed out in this 12-episode run. There’s a lot I don’t know about Shokichi. Heck, even Takumi doesn’t get fleshed out a lot. All we know about him was that he lost his job at a hotel due to bankruptcy and is working at Astro Lodge now. I’d like to learn a little bit more about him like where he’s from or his background before getting into cooking. Heck, I would’ve liked to learn a bit more about Shoin too! I feel like characterization got shoved to move the plot forward. It’s also a crime that we didn’t see what Planet Wid looks like. Despite that, the anime does do a great job showing that Astro Lodge is a share house full of kooky tenants; the supporting cast are all kooky and it’s presented well.

The voice cast was stacked, surprisingly. A lot of A-list actors and actresses are casted here! We have Soma Saito and Maaya Uchida as the leads and the supporting cast consists of names such as Shinichiro Miki, Junichi Suwabe, Tomokazu Sugita, Rie Kugimiya and more. This anime is perfect for anyone who’s a fan of any of these actors. The only voice actress I’m not familiar with is Ai Furihata, who voices Teruko, but that’s because I’m not into Love Live. She does do a good performance, though!

The soundtrack fits the whimsical atmosphere, but I did like the opening and ending songs a lot. The opening sound is sung by Ai Furihata and the ending song is sung by Soma Saito and Maaya Uchida. I really like it when anime voice actors participate in the opening or ending songs. It makes them feel rather involved, you know?

I think that this is a good anime to just kick back, relax and laugh at the craziness transpiring. It’s nothing too serious to think about. If you like animes like that, I suggest you try watching this!

[kepottsposts]

A Short Analysis of George R. R. Martin's "The Ice Dragon"

George R. R. Martin’s short story, “The Ice Dragon”, is a captivating tale set in a world of harsh winters. It centers around an adolescent girl by the name of Adara, who is born during the coldest chill ever felt. She is the youngest of three, but is different from her siblings, having been receiving visits from an ice dragon since the day she was born. Deemed a winter child since birth, her piercing blue eyes and freezing cold touch sets her apart from the other children of the town. True to her nickname, she hates the warmer months and yearns every day for the return of the snow and her ice dragon.

Her Uncle Hal visits every summer, much to Adara’s displeasure, as his visits mean winter is very far away. He brings stories and news back from the war the king currently has his knights fighting.

With every visit, the war is creeping closer to her home. When it is finally at their doorstep, Hal tries to take Adara to safety in the south. Instead, she runs away to hide in a cave, and immediately begins wondering how she’ll survive until winter.

It isn’t long before her ice dragon appears to take her away to the north, where it is always winter. But just as she’s about to leave her life behind forever, she hears her father’s scream and begs the dragon to take her home. There, the chilling beast meets its demise defending Adara from three enemy soldiers and their fire-breathing dragons. It disappears, leaving behind a pond of cool water.

From that day forward, the winters are not as cold, and Adara starts to feel warmth and emotions like other children.

“The Ice Dragon” is a beautifully written tale that blends fantasy and reality to create a captivating narrative. On the one hand, we have the fantastical element of the ice dragon itself, a mythical creature that brings both fear and fascination. The frozen beast represents the raw power of winter and the cold, and its presence adds a touch of magic to the story. On the other hand, we have the realistic portrayal of Adara, a young girl who experiences the harsh realities of her world. Adara’s love for the winter and her unique connection to the cold are relatable human emotions, especially when you factor in the isolation she constantly feels. Her relationships with her family and the challenges she faces - even the invasion of the fiery dragons - are grounded in reality. Martin seamlessly weaves these elements together, allowing readers to immerse themselves in a reality where fantasy and reality coexist. The story invites readers to contemplate the beauty and wonder of the fantastical, while also exploring the depths of human emotions and the resilience of the human spirit.

Martin’s short story is a masterpiece of vivid and immersive imagery. His descriptions of the dragon, a magnificent creature with jagged icicles for teeth and “hoarfrost” covered skin which is “a crystalline white, that shade of white that is so hard and cold that it is almost blue”, are so detailed, readers are practically shivering when it is near. The dragon’s icy breath, described as a cold so intense it could freeze a man solid in seconds, adds to the chilling atmosphere. He paints a world of icy beauty and stark landscapes that’s both enchanting and terrifying. Martin’s imagery transports readers directly into the heart of this fantastical kingdom, making them feel as though they are standing right there with the characters.

Adara’s relationship with her family, especially her father, is another particularly interesting aspect of the story. Martin could have followed the stereotypical route of having her father unfairly hate her due to her mother’s death during childbirth. However, the script is literally flipped when her father admits to Hal that he “loved her best of all”, his “little winter child”. It is a pivotal moment that shows readers how truly disconnected Adara is to her everyday life, and shapes the rest of the story. Without this hushed conversation and strained family dynamic, the ending would not have been as impactful.

Despite the many great aspects of this tale, I do have one slightly harsher critique. I was saddened by the ending, and it is not solely due to the fact that the ice dragon died. Though that part is understandable, considering the dragon was going up against three fire-breathing ones all alone, I don’t understand why it was necessary to have Adara lose all of her connections to her favorite time of the year, such as her cold touch which allowed her to hold the ice lizards and make intricate snow castles. Yes, it is a metaphor for her heart melting as she finally connects with her family. But Elsa could unfreeze Anna without losing her ice powers at the end of the Disney film, Frozen; so why couldn’t Adara have both as well? I would think that losing her ice dragon would be enough of a symbolic, and heartbreaking, event that shows the beginning of her transition into a more normal childhood. To have her also lose her other connection to the winter feels as though Adara is losing herself entirely when she chooses her family. She saves them, but at the cost of her dreams and everything which made her unique.

Overall, I adamantly recommend reading this short story that sweeps you into a world of fantasy and wonder. “The Ice Dragon” is a captivating tale which explores complex themes such as love, individuality, and the power of nature, all woven together with beautiful imagery and compelling characters. It offers a unique journey of imagination and introspection, encouraging readers to embrace their uniqueness and to appreciate the beauty and mystery of the world around them.

[themebeyond]

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[adara-of-the-flame]

What’s this? SilSol is actually the one to approach Adara this time! With Christmas around the corner, and snow blanketing the land, the lanky UrSkek is bundled up in furs belonging to other alien planets. Most certainly the real thing, too, from how soft and warm it looked.

The UrSkek floated over to the flame woman from behind and lowered himself to place his lower beak against her shoulder. All four arms wrapped around her. Engulfing the tiny woman in the softest, warmest white fur imaginable. A soft, gentle hum escaped him. He projected a word from his native tongue to her mind. It was not translatable yet.

But, from the tone and accompanying imagery of hearts and mistletoe, it could either be a confession of love, or asking for permission to kiss. Or both, seeing as the language tended to be complex and have many meanings for a singular word. ~ Kaiju-crimson-storyandask

Not for the first time in her life, Adara had found herself lost in the enchantment of the falling snow. Fire-natured though she might be, she loved winter. This was why she still let the snow fall in her little, rural neighborhood. While all homes within her territory remained warm and cozy, the cold beauty of the season was still free to gather and flurry outside.

Besides, who was she to deny her daughters a snowball fight?

It took her a moment to realize the warmth around her was not her own. She started for a second, temporarily surprised at the surplus of arms suddenly surrounding her. A smile curved on the flame woman’s lips as she finally recognized SilSol. 

“Well, hello there.” Looks like the mute singer had grown a little bolder in the past year. She leaned into his hum, and then....

Oh...

Was he really taking such a serious lead here? 

In the past, Adara had been more of the playful, flirtatious kind. She’d held no real attraction to either of his halves while they were split. But, when whole...there was a beautifully gentle spark that neither had. Something warm. Something attractive.

Something now obviously reciprocated as bright, magical images filled her head. 

The thoughts he projected in her mind would soon be accompanied with images of her own design: dancing candlelight and wings of flame on the hearts.

And, a kiss. A very full, real-world kiss.

[adaraspa]

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[cassandra-moon]

Warm my Heart in Winter

A request from @shino-owo​. It’s finally finally finished and I still have so much to do. Forgive the lateness, thank you for being patience.

Seraphim stared out of the window and into the cold night of winter, a shiver traveled up his spine. He liked winter, it was time where he and his mother would play in the snow, he’d play with his bear brothers and sisters. With their lives gone so did all the good feelings during this time, he kind of wished it would go away, but that was impossible. He sighed as he rested his head against the cold glass window and tried not to cry. It wasn’t often that he did but when he did he tried to hide it. He felt it was a sign of weakness, vulnerability, and he vowed that he would never show it again until she came along.

Seraphim looked over towards the large bed on the other side of the room and smiled. There, slept his beautiful wife, wrapped in fine cloth and warm sheets, she looked even more beautiful with the light of the glowing fire. When he returned he swore that he would give his and daughter the world, and that’s what he did. With the help of his brother, Heron, he took back his kingdom from his filthy cousins and rose to power. When others opposed, he put them back in their place. Seraphim was not a ruthless king, in fact, he was much beloved and protected his citizens while also being strict, Adara said he was a firm, but a fair king.

Adara, along with her husband, was much beloved. The citizens loved her, many men foolishly tried courting her when she was in town, good thing the guards were nice enough to help her. The men lived, but they wish they died, they still do. Seraphim stood from his seat at the window and walked over to the bed, he smiled as his hands ran down the small scar on her cheek. She had that scar since he had met her when he was twelve and she was ten, it was fresh then, just like his, and still healing. When he inquired where she got the scar she told him her father had done it to her, he was training her to be the strongest warrior Greece had ever seen and the scare was from one of their duels, it was done on purpose. The mere memory of her retelling him that story had him seething.

Seraphim had been pulled from his thoughts when he felt his beloved shift under his touch, she hadn’t woken up yet but he could tell that even in her sleep she was searching for him. He smiled before leaning down to her and whispered, “I’m here, go back to sleep.” As if it were magic, Adara laid completely still and returned to her slumber and wrapped herself in the sheets. Seraphim chucked, he looked down at the glass of wine that he had forgotten was there and gulped what remained in the glass before walking out of the room to his daughter just across the hall. He carefully opened the door to see his three-year-old daughter sleeping in a bed that was much too big for her.

As I said, he wanted her daughter to have the world and would do anything for the girl. He stepped quietly into the room and towards her bed. Her jack black hair and tanned skin made him think of himself when he was younger and full of life. “Daddy?” That small voice pulled him from his thoughts as his little Ariana slowly sat up while rubbing her deep brown eyes. “Is it morning”, she asked, clearly still sleepy. “No princess, go back to sleep. I just came to check on you.” Ariana nodded before laying back down and falling fast asleep. Seraphim smiled before pressing a light kiss to her head. “I love you, daddy.” Seraphim stopped for a second, but smiled as he gently patted his daughter’s head, “I love you too.”

Once he entered his room again, his wife was awake and smiling at him. “I thought I told you to go to sleep”, he said as he put the glass down on the table and sat down on the huge animal skins on the floor by the fireplace. Behind him, Adara shifted off the bed and walked towards him. He turned around and stared up at her before patting the space next to him. “It’ll be over before you know it”, she said as she ran her hands over his shoulders and down his arms. She could feel him shudder under her touch, “You should rest, you’ll feel better in the morning.” Seraphim sighed as he leaned into her touch, whenever he felt this she was there to keep him from falling over the edge, she was always there.

“I truly do not deserve you”, he said as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into his lap. They stared at each other for a minute before Seraphim leaned in and captured her lips with his. Adara kissed back, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull his body closer to her. She felt the familiar feeling of Seraphims tongue poking at her lips asking for her to open so he could further explore her, once she did she could taste the wine he had been drinking earlier. She shuddered as Seraphim traced his clawed fingers up and down her waist until he moved his hand between her legs. Adara gasped, he rubbed his fingers across her velvety core, only a few seconds could he feel how wet and soaked she was.

Adara ground her lower body against his body, trying to get friction from him in any way. Seraphim dragged his tongue across her inner mouth and smiled into the kiss, before slipping his large fingers into her core, urging a shudder from her and for her to grab onto the animal skin wrapped around his waist. Seraphim pushed away from her, a string of saliva connecting them. Seraphim leaned forward, licking her ear, and whispered, “lay down.” Adara obeyed, her long hair laid out, a dark pillow that he loved to run his fingers through it. Seraphim, with his fingers still inside her, crawled up to her and kissed down her neck before gently grazing his fangs down her neck, over her chest, and down her stomach.

He looked up to his wife and frowned, Adara’s face showed clear discomfort. Seraphim shot up, his face covered with concern. “What’s wrong? Did I do something you didn’t like?” When Adara didn’t answer or look up at him, he started to panic, internally of course. Had he done something to upset her? Does he not satisfy her anymore? Does she not LOVE him anymore? “It’s nothing, really”, she said quietly, her mousy little voice cutting through his negative thoughts. “Something troubles you, and as your husband, it’s my job to understand whatever bothers you and destroy it”, he said, his voice echoing and his eyes narrowing to let her know of his seriousness, bit softened his gaze when he noticed tears forming in her hazel eyes.

Gently, he cupped her cheek and turned her head to face him, but she kept her eyes closed. “Look at me, please.” Adara, hesitantly looked into her husband’s dark brown eyes, they were soft, calm, and filled with care. She sighed, “I feel like since I had Ariana, I don’t look as beautiful as I used to.” Seraphim was shocked. The most beautiful, creative, talented, and caring woman he had ever met didn’t find herself beautiful. Before he could protest Adara dropped another bomb on him, “I feel like you could have done far better than me.” That was it. He wasn’t going to take any more of this. She hated it when he hated the way he looked, or when he told her the same thing she said to him just now, so he wasn’t going to allow the love of his life to suffer in self-loathing.

Remembering where his finger was, he decided to add another inside her, before pumping it inside her, shocking her and sending a rush of pleasure through her body. He gently gripped her jaw and forced her to look at him in his brown eyes, “You are the most gorgeous woman in his world”, he whispered in her ear as he moved his fingers faster inside her. “Despite my hatred for them, the gods have given me the greatest gift: you.” Seraphim bit down on her neck, gently, and groaned as her moans increased in volume. Usually, he’d tease her, draw out her orgasm a bit longer, but tonight was about her, and only her.

He slid his tongue down her collarbone, down her chest where he swirled her nipple between his teeth before traveling further down her body until he replaced his fingers with his tongue. Adara gasped, she felt herself clench as his tongue prodded her entrance and slid inside her. She felt her pussy clench as she released all over his mouth, her mouth open in a silent scream as a shockwave of pleasure rocked through her body. Seraphim rose from between her legs and smiled with his tongue licking his lips. He crawled back up to her and captured her lips, which she gladly accepted, not caring that she could taste herself on his tongue.

Seraphims hand traced down his own body as he sat up to take off his bottoms and release his massive cock from their confines. Adara was practically salivating, it was huge and thick, and her soaked core pulsed in need for it. Seraphim chuckled and slid her legs over his arms and positioned himself between them, but didn’t move. He looked up and locked eyes with his wife and said, “what are you?” Adara looked confused, what did he mean? Seraphim put the tip of his erect shaft against her pulsing core and pushed in, coaxing a groan from her, but stopped before going any further. “I asked you a question. If you answer correctly, I’ll reward you.” His fingers reaching down and twisting her clit between his fingers.

Adara shuddered, she gritted her teeth before locking eyes with her husband and saying, “I’m beautiful.” Seraphim smiled before pushing his cock completely inside her, he gasped at the warmth and tightness of her. “What else?” Her breath faltering and her body heating up, Adara muttered again. “I am beautiful. I am a gift given to you by the gods,” she screamed as Serahpis hips violently snapped forward, she reached forward and grabbed Seraphim by his braid and pulled him down to kiss him deeply. “Keep going, little one.” Adara continued to compliment herself, repeating it to her husband over and over again, her body twitching as her orgasm quickly approached. Seraphim stopped, grabbing her legs and raised them over his shoulder. The two locked eyes and kissed, he swallowed his lovers’ moans as he snapped his hips forward.

Seraphim wrapped his arms around her body, both of them covered in a thin layer of sweat that the fire illuminated, creating a glow that Seraphim found beautiful on his gorgeous wife. Her hazel eyes brimmed with tears as her orgasm shook through her, rocking her and sending her into a silent scream. Seraphim moaned quietly as he felt her walls clench his shaft, his pace quickened but became sloppy, signaling he was close to finishing. His grip on her thighs tightened as he felt himself release inside her, Adara’s body stiffened as another orgasm shook through her.

Seraphim collapsed onto his forearms, their shadows dancing on the walls, acopnied by the sound of the crackling fire and the deep breaths of the two lovers on the floor. Adara stared up at the ceiling and wrapped her arms around her husbands body. Seraphim turned his head and kissed the side of her head, “Don’t ever forget that, understand that?” She nodded and kissed the his scar then his lips. “I won’t so long as you don’t.” The two smiled before locking lips and embracing each other once again. Seraphim reached over and grabbed a log before throwing it into the fire and wrapping them both in one of their covers.

“Be a good girl and tell me one more time”, he began, gently rubbing her cheek. “What are you.” Adara scooted closer and smiled, “WE are beautiful. We are both gifts from the gods that managed to come together and create an even better treasure. There is no person better than the one in front of me.” Seraphim stared at her, his brown eye widened before smiling and kissing her forehead and saying, “except for the person in front of me.” The two smiled, sitting in silence before drifting off into peaceful slumber.

[hoodwinkd1]

the stars that shine - Ch 3

Ch 2 here.

Chapter 3: I was sixteen when suddenly

“Excuse me, esteemed guests,” the herald called out. “A toast, from Queen Mother Georgina.”

The room silenced quickly, people putting down their dessert forks and picking up their flutes.

Hollin watched his mother rise, fixing her skirts and simpering at the crowd. “My dearest friends, thank you all so much for joining us for such a wonderful evening to celebrate Adarlan’s future.”

They couldn’t all be her dearest friends, could they? Considering Hollin didn’t recognize over half the faces, he highly doubted it.

“The fall harvest has produced more bounty than anyone predicted, so tonight is to celebrate the hard work of our farmers and all those who financially support them.” She paused for a moment, allowing light applause to flutter through the room.

He caught Dorian’s eye. Although the King looked engaged and supportive externally, Hollin could read the boredom oozing from him. They shared a look, both thinking that this dinner couldn’t celebrate farmers if none had been invited.

“And of course,” Georgina continued. “Tonight is celebrating my son as well. Happy birthday, Hollin. May this year provide even more success for you and the kingdom.”

She raised her glass against his, then sat down.

“Thank you,” he muttered, taking a large sip of champagne. “The dinner is...lovely.”

His mother preened. “Oh, of course my dear. Anything for your sixteenth.” She sighed and drank half her glass. “I cannot believe how grown up the two of you are. I remember, oh it feels like yesterday, when you first rode a horse--”

Her closest courtiers leaned in to hear the story, right as Hollin tuned her voice out. Only one glass, and he could sneak off while pretending to “work the room.”

Luckily, Dorian jumped in as soon as the story ended with him falling on a stable boy. “Hollin, would you join me? I spotted some people I should greet.”

His brother had been more supportive than usual in the past two year. After Hollin had begun his training, with a mortifying first lesson, Dorian had quietly stepped in to help. Although the two of them lacked the easy conversation between many siblings, they had come to some sort of arrangement. Hollin could find Dorian whenever he felt overwhelmed, without fearing judgment or scorn.

“Do you think she’s ever met a farmer?” Hollin wondered, as they navigated past tables. “Actually spoken to one before?”

Dorian chuckled. “I always forget how sheltered she’s been as Queen. Even during the damn war, Mother was too far away to interact with any soldiers or common people.”

“So was I.” The words flew out of Hollin’s mouth before he could think.

Dorian stopped walking. “What? You were a child.” He turned his head sharply. “Hollin, you can’t possibly feel guilty for-”

“Your Highnesses!” A family approached them. Hollin recognized the parents as Ladies Bernice and Nerissa Finnick, who oversaw much of the sea commerce in Rifthold, leading three of their children towards the princes.

Nerissa reached out a deep bronze hand. “Excuse the interruption. If you have a moment, Your Majesty, I would like to request a meeting for next week.”

Dorian took her hand and smiled warmly. “Of course. Hollin, have you met the Finnicks yet?”

Maybe his brother didn’t have his back all the time.

“Yes, Anya and I have had some classes together.” He nodded at the middle daughter.

Anya stepped forward as the adults began some boring conversation. “These are my brothers, Galen and Sebastian.”

“Nice to meet you,” Hollin responded, shaking both of their hands. He hated the formality these parties required, since most of his peers treated him quite casually in other settings. “Are you enjoying the evening?”

Galen smiled. “The food was excellent, so I can’t complain.” Hollin had to glance up to look at him, the whole family annoying tall, tan, and beautiful.

“Have you heard any news from Terrasen?” Anya asked. “From Evangeline?”

He wasn’t sure how to answer her question, whether she simply meant to further the conversation or if she wanted a certain piece of information. “Nothing...particular, but the royal family seems to be doing well.”

“Ah, well. I’ve written to her a few times, but she hadn’t mentioned any plans to return. We all miss her so much,” Anya sighed.

Oh. Apparently everyone on this damn planet loved Evangeline and expected them to be best friends.

“I’m sure she knows she’s welcome here anytime.” Hollin took a step back. “If you’ll excuse me, I have a few more guests to greet.”

He was lying, of course. Hollin snuck into the kitchens as soon as he maneuvered past prying eyes, content to finish the evening with another round of dessert and absolutely no more niceties.

---

Thick snow layered Orynth, as it always did in late winter, but the dining room inside the palace was downright toasty. Evangeline’s gaze kept catching on the massive window across from her, the white powder falling down in countless patterns and twists.

“Excuse me, Queen speaking!” Aelin called out, tapping a knife against her champagne flute to command everyone’s attention. “I’d like to make a toast.”

Evangeline started at the interruption, turning away from the snowfall, as Lysandra rolled her eyes from the seat next to her. “Just keep it brief, Galanthynius. Today isn’t about you.”

Aelin pouted for a moment, garnering laughs from the table, then shrugged her shoulders. “Fair point.” The two women shared a grin before she turned to face the larger group.

“Today is about two of my favorite people,” she began. “Lysandra and Evangeline, I am incredibly happy that we all came together to celebrate such happy news.”

Aedion leaned across the table and caught Rowan’s eye. “‘Two of my favorite people’ and we aren’t even included? Pure misandry,” he muttered. The silver-haired Fae chuckled lightly.

“Exactly,” Aelin shot back. “Now hush, male. Eva, even with the most chaotic group of parental figures, has managed to grow into one of the kindest, wisest, and most genuine young women I have ever met. I hope this year brings you joy and fancy jewelry, both of which you deserve plenty of. Happy sixteenth birthday, my darling.”

Evangeline blew her aunt a kiss. She couldn’t put into words what this entire evening meant to her, how unbelievable it was that the Queen and King of Terrasen hosted her birthday dinner. She glanced down the table, smiling at all of the family and friends that looked at her with such love in their eyes.

“Lys,” Aelin continued. “My best friend. You took care of me, and so many other people in this room, when we needed it most, giving you more than enough practice for this next chapter in your life. I think I might actually be more excited than Aedion for this baby.”

Aedion leaned back in his chair. “Not possibly, cousin.”

“Didn’t I already hush you?” Aelin scrunched her nose. Evangeline held back a giggle at their dynamic. “Anyway, I can’t wait to force Adara to befriend your child, just so we all have another excuse to spend time together. Cheers to these two beautiful women.”

“Cheers!” The whole table cried out, glasses clinking and liquid sloshing.

Lysandra tapped her glass of sparkling juice against Evangeline’s. “I’m a bit sad that you get to drink alcohol while I can't. I always imagined sneaking you liquor on a ladies’ night.”

Aedion put down his juice as well. The couple had agreed that if Lys couldn’t drink, neither of them could. “I always wanted to take her to one of the taverns in Rifthold. Watch little Eva drink her first ale while taking men for all their worth in cards.”

“I’m not that good,” Evangeline laughed. “And anyway, this is a very classy way to have my first, proper glass of alcohol.”

“Proper?” Rowan interjected, bouncing the crown princess on his leg. “Does that mean you’ve had an improper drink before?”

Aelin gasped. “My devious little angel”

“No!” Evangeline scrunched her nose. “I just meant, first drink beyond accidental sips and tasting it from your glasses. You’re all horrible.”

Aedion shrugged. “My first drink was when I was fourteen. Stepped off the battlefield and took a very large sip of something disgusting.”

Lysandra patted his knee affectionately. “That’s a terrible story. We probably all had bad experiences during our first time.”

“First time? Lys, you make it sound like something dirty,” Aelin teased. “My first time was quite romantic-”

“Really? Bringing him up at a nice dinner?” Rowan drawled. “In front of our child?”

Evangeline finally stopped trying to hold back her laughter and huge smile. She would miss this family, miss the ease and joy that came with every conversation during her next round of travels.

----

Evangeline all but threw herself onto the lavish bed, too exhausted to even consider taking a bath, though she most definitely needed one. Banjali might be the loveliest city she had ever seen, if not remarkably warm in the early springtime.

She had a week left in Eyllwe, with most of that time spent travelling. Aelin had pulled her aside before her visit, and asked her if she would be prepared for a visit to Calaculla to demonstrate Terrasen’s grief for the horrors committed there. Evangeline, of course, agreed to the detour.

As if to make up for the depressing finish to her stay, the Ytgers’ had ensured her time in the capital city was as happy as possible. The younger crown prince in particular put in the most time and effort to show her around the city. Evangeline didn’t mind, not when Deji was nice enough to look at.

She sat up at the sound of a sharp knock. “Time for dinner,” Fenrys announced from the other side.

“I haven’t had any time to change!” Evangeline protested, scrambling towards the vanity, eyes widening in shock at the state of her hair. “I thought we had an hour!”

She didn’t love that this trip was chaperoned, but Lysandra and Aedion had insisted. The ship would travel past Skulls Bay, a place where Aelin had apparently made more enemies than friends.

“We would have had an hour, if you didn’t stop for cake on the walk back.” Fenrys opened the door carefully. “Can I come into the sitting room?”

“Ugh!” Evangeline huffed, pulling her hair out of its braids. She walked over to the entrance of her bedchamber and slammed the door between them shut. “I’ll be ready in fifteen minutes.”

She could hear him pacing around. “If we get any snide remarks for being late, I’m tattling on you to Aedion.”

Evangeline stuck her tongue out, although he couldn’t see her. She didn’t have time for a proper reply.

Seventeen minutes later, the two of them walked down to one of the smaller dining rooms. The Queen stood at the entrance, looking impeccable as always. Evangeline looked...passable, clothed in a fresh, crimson dress and golden hair somewhat brushed.

“Hello, Your Majesty,” she greeted. “I hope we aren’t late.”

The Queen waved her off. “Tonight is a rather small affair, do not fret. Lord Fenrys, I hope you don’t mind that we planned on separating the children from the adults tonight? The boys have a couple friends with them and they do hate it when we eavesdrop.”

Fenrys puffed his chest a bit at the use of his title. “Perfectly fine by me. Assuming you can handle yourself, Lady Evangeline?”

“Of course,” she responded, her polite tone at odds with the elbow she shoved into his side when the Queen turned to lead them in.

Kharis, the elder prince, walked up to them. “Good evening. May I escort you in?” He offered up his arm, which Evangeline took with one last wave to the adults.

He steered her towards another door that he opened to reveal a room with a much smaller table. She was met with four pairs of eyes, only one of which she recognized.

“This is Lady Evangeline, from Terrasen,” Kharis announced.

“Oh please, just Eva,” she insisted. “Pleased to meet you.”

One of the girls stepped forward. “I’m Athaliah, and these are my siblings, Jethro and Phebe.”

They all took their seats then, and luckily, conversation flowed easily. The three of them were not nobility, but their grandmother had served with the Queen’s father. Evangeline didn’t quite understand how he had managed to get his daughter on the throne after an alleged rebellion against the former King, but she didn’t think it polite to ask.

Phebe and Deji seemed to have some special connection, joking on a level that suggested intimacy. Evangeline forced herself to feel any sort of disappointment at their banter. Even if she thought he had flirted with her, nothing actually happened.

“Would you like a drink?” The boy of her thoughts interrupted the conversation Evangeline was currently having with Athaliah. “We nicked some spiced wine.”

“That sounds lovely,” she replied. Deji handed her a glass, seating himself next to her on the couch.

“Where will you go next?” Athaliah asked, continuing on. “Back to Terrasen?”

Evangeline nodded. “My ward, Lord Darrow, is expecting me back in a few weeks. We have some additional time, but quite honestly, I’m excited to sleep in a familiar bed again.”

“Our accommodations aren’t good enough for you?” Deji teased.

Evangeline scrunched her nose at him. “Of course not! But I am unaccustomed to this heat so early in the year.”

Jethro called for his sister, the others beginning to play a card game of sorts. She left them alone on the couches, Evangeline scrambling for something to keep the conversation going.

“Can I show you something?” he asked.

Perfect. “How far is this ‘something’?” Evangeline brought the glass to her lips, enjoying the slow buzz of the wine.

Deji stood, holding out his free hand. “Not far. I wouldn’t dare make you walk for too long in this heat.”

She followed him out of the room, down the hall, and towards a large balcony that she hadn’t noticed before. He held open the opaque doors, gesturing for her to step out first.

Evangeline let out a small gasp at the view. From this angle, the ocean seemed endless, and the moon looked close enough to touch. Large, swaying trees framed the water’s edge. The entire scene glittered with starlight, more real than a painting, yet more beautiful than real life.

“This is...unbelievable.”

Deji leaned against the stone railing. “It’s my favorite view, especially at night. I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t see and hear the ocean most days.”

Evangeline joined him on the railing. “You might have ruined me as well. I’ll miss this dearly back home.”

They glanced over each other at the same time, bringing a heated blush to her face. His skin was too dark to show it, but she prayed she wasn’t alone in this feeling.

“Can I kiss you?” she blurted out, then immediately covered her mouth with her free hand. Oh gods, she might as well fling herself from the balcony now. Evangeline wanted to blame the wine, but truthfully, one drink hadn’t clouded her judgement at all. “I’m so sorry, that was--”

Deji cut her off, grabbing her hand gently and holding it in his own. “I was afraid you were going to make me ask you.”

He leaned in then, pressing his lips against hers. Evangeline’s eyes fluttered shut, experimentally deepening the kiss and moving her mouth against his.

It was sweet, if not a bit clumsy and filled with nervous giggling. Everything a first kiss should be.

----

Dorian found him in the training ring, one morning. Hollin wanted to get reacquainted with walking up earlier, now that spring had arrived and the afternoons would soon be too warm for exercise.

"Do you need something?" he huffed, talking a second to chug some water. The endurance circuit was quite honestly kicking his ass.

His brother shrugged. "I feel bad that I didn't warn you last time, so I'm telling you in advance now. Evangeline and Fenrys Moonbeam will be staying in the palace for a few days on their way back from Eyllwe, arriving in one week."

Hollin spun on his heel, pretending to grab a towel to keep his face hidden. "It's a bit last minute for royal guests, isn't it?"

Dorian sighed. "They're dear friends, not courtiers. Perhaps we could do a more casual dinner, allow you the chance to get to know both of them better. I'm sure Fenrys would offer to train you a bit as well."

"Is that the purpose behind their visit? Give me training with a feared Fae warrior?" Hollin didn't cover the sarcasm in his tone.

"No, I believe Eva wanted to see her friends here, something she doesn't regularly get a chance to do. Are you done with the questions?"

"Yes. Fine. Whatever." He pushed himself up, abandoning the towel. A bath would do nicely for his aching muscles. "Add the required events to my schedule."

Dorian mumbled something under his breath, but thankfully turned to leave. Right before he re-entered the main hallway, he called out: "It wouldn't hurt you to have friends!"

"I have two!" Hollin called back. "Who needs more than that?"

[landlobsterqueen]

The Journal of Adara

After nearly a year of searching for that mythical wishing well, we had finally found it. Sitting on the largest mountain in the mortal world, besides the great mountain that the pantheon lived on. And I’ll admit this isn’t the world I was expecting to be sent to when Capella made the wish to be sent to a new world. Actually I didn’t expect her to make that wish at all!

I mean if it were my wish, I would have wished for the ability to get back at that ‘all powerful’ pantheon that constantly disrespected us and our mother! Especially after they trapped her in the underworld. I mean how was she supposed to know that our typhon brother was going to grow up to nearly destroy the mortal world. It wasn’t her fault, she had nothing to do with that random attack on the mortal world and it wasn’t ours either, we didn’t influence him! 

Yes, I understand that we agreed to let Capella make the wish because looking for that well was her idea and it was her discovery in the first place. But still, she could have wished for something better than being teleported to some other world. 

Anyway, like I said this isn’t the world I expected the well to send us. The world is so strange. The world is made entirely of blocks, the ground, the sky, the water, the animals. Everything is blocks. Even our own bodies are restricted to blocky caricatures of our original forms. Though, I guess this world isn’t too bad, it’s beautiful here and it appears to be a world without a pantheon, at least none that we have seen. But it does appear we are the only non-mortal creatures here, which is another bonus in my book. However the laws of this world are strange, everything works so much differently than it does in our home world. It was certainly something I found a bit hard to get used to, but hey at least we still have most of our abilities. We can still fly and conjure certain things out of thin air. We were lucky to not have lost any of our core abilities when we travelled here.

Anyhow, Capella likes this world. As she should, she wished for this after all. As of recently she found a big field of flowers filled with square bees and the most beautiful looking lush caves. She’s decided to make that field her home and made a cozy looking cabin in it, with a big hollow tree where she put all her bee nests and hives. She’s even made a little pool for these little axolotls she’s found in those lush caves.

Alvis on the other hand has started work on a lab underneath our main hub that we built around that magic well. It didn’t really surprise us that Alvis decided to build a lab, but he really spends too much time down there working on the thing. He needs a break every once in a while, I mean, I’d love to have him come explore this world with me and Joe, even Capella joins in every once in a while to look for new plants to add to her garden.

Me and Joe on the other hand, have taken to exploring this blocky world, there's just so many things to see here! Deserts, jungles, savanna’s, great oceans! There’s even evidence that we weren’t the first creatures to have settled in this world, while we aren’t sure where these creatures ended up it still is interesting to look for the clues they left behind. We’ve also found other sentient creatures we’ve dubbed ‘villagers,’ I know it's not the most creative name in the world but it was Joe’s idea and he wouldn't shut up until I agreed to the name. 

This world is so diverse and beautiful! I actually don’t mind staying here for a while. It definitely gets my mind off what happened back in our home world, but once I figure out the ins and outs of this world, I’ll be able to use some of this world's strange physics to my advantage! There’s got to be something in this world powerful enough to help me get revenge on that damn pantheon.       

[humble-wayside-flower]

yes yes yes yes #7, 14, 29, 43, and 65 for both your haunted children?

7) Which party member do they understand the least? 

For Marin I think its still Nora, even with last Adara session’s illuminations. Like myself, Marin didn’t expect the kind of overlap there is between their childhoods, and I think that means there's a shorthand understanding about somethings between the two of them, that others might now pick up on right away. But there is also this sort of misalignment, for lack of a better word. Like Marin gets why Nora is so put off by the whole temple institution. Marin doesn’t think she’s wrong, and in a lot of ways they agree with her. But I don’t think Marin fully understands how Nora could just let all of it go wholesale, because Marin isn’t even sure how to let go of the bad parts yet, much less the stuff that still feels beautiful and sacred and comforting. 

Mattie, on the other hand, is tricky because I think they feel like they understand Sheridan and Raleigh pretty well. I wrote awhile back for another ask meme thing that Mattie’s biggest flaw is their pride. As much as they like to think their upbringing is complete separate from them, the emphasis on routine, snap judgements, and the difficultly admitting mistakes or misunderstandings- those are things that are deeply ingrained from that. That being said, there are many things about Raleigh that are an absolute enigma to them. Like how Raleigh remains so bright and open and selfless, when tbh they could be less of all those things and it would be still be understandable from Mattie’s POV. Raleigh’s innate affinity for magic is also confusing as it is fascinating for someone who didn’t grow up with powers at all. I also think there are these little stirrings deep inside of them that whisper “kindred soul” when the two of them are at their peak dumd (though right now I think Mattie would rather die than voice that thought out loud). I said awhile back that in another life, I don’t think he and Raleigh would be so different. It’s a dynamic that sort of mirrors what Marin and Nora have. 

14) What is something they love about themselves?

This has been an unexpectedly difficult question, not because I think they don’t like anything about themselves, but because my answer to this question is different from what they would say I think. 

Like I love Marin’s trusting nature, their ability to see the good in most anyone, even when it gets them in a lot of avoidable trouble. But I think they would say their devotion is their best quality. They stick to things, and they’re loyal to a fault, and they try so hard not to break promises. They don’t give up, not on the world, not on people.

As for Mattie, I love that they’re not so dependent on being liked by people who’s minds are already made up about them. It’s a healthier mindset to be in than Marin’s desire to please every person ever. But, in an adjacent vein, I think they would say their independence is their best quality. Mattie was (and is) wrong about not needing to rely on other people to get through life, but they’re less likely to fall apart completely if they were suddenly alone too. 

29) Who would they save? Who would they be saved by?

Honestly, when all the World Eater stuff is settled, Marin will likely delve into the Seamstresses world for a bit to try and help the other people who may have gotten preyed upon into signing themselves up for something they didn’t understand. A cousin of sorts is a good cover up for why the party was poking around for Cutter, but I do think they really do feel a sort of kinship with him and any others stuck with forces stronger then them. They don’t buy into the seamstresses whole family shtick one bit, but still, a family can be made out of anything and anyone with at least one thing in common. As for who saves them, having friends in Nora and Raye and most unexpectedly Yani has helped immensely, but when it  comes down to it, I still think the only one who can really save Marin is Marin. Not because they feel like they’re in this alone, but because so much of it is the kind of internal work you have to sort through on your own eventually. 

Mattie, however, is always trickier for me for some reason. This is maybe going to sound silly, because it’s come and gone in game at this point, but a part of them is still hung up on Grace and Alistair, and how they got wrapped up in everything that’s gone on. I know I said that Mattie is less hung up on not being liked by people, but it surprised me how much being disliked by Grace, and her disappointment in the party bothers them. I’ve spent a stupid amount of time trying to figure out why they could do to make up for what they dragged Alistair into, and for what happened to Grace’s shop, and for themself in general, and it’s not an entirely selfless desire. It’s complicated. Idk if it even counts as saving so much as just making amends, but that’s a big one for Mattie in an unexpected way. As for who would save them, Mattie is going to need to learn to rely on their friends to get through this, especially with this fear that their mind is not entirely their own. This world eater stuff is too big to get through alone. 

43) Why do they fight?

Because when it all comes down to it, its the right thing to do. Because when someone is about to walk off a cliff unknowingly, and you see it happening, you do your best to pull that person back. Because maybe you aren’t good enough to do it, but you have to try. Because there’s good in this world Mr. Frodo, and its worth fighting for. 

For Marin specifically, because everything is whim to random chance, but the change for good is equal to the chance for bad, and sometimes gods and goddesses listen and tip the scales further. 

For Mattie specifically, because there’s a sense of personal obligation to do so. That maybe a small part (they aren’t so foolish to think all of it) is their fault. 

65) What is holding them back?  

For both of them its the looming fear of the big what if after all this is said and done. Both of them had very specific ideas of what their lives would look like, and now all of that has been thrown out the window. The world is so much bigger now, and its overwhelming. Literally anything is possible. They’re holding themselves back in a lot of ways, because growing pains are, well, painful. 

[booklovingturtle]

A Sweet Suli Spice (Kanej GVBB)

A/N: AH I can’t believe the time has finally come for me to share this with you all! I had so much fun working on this in the midst of the worst and most stressful semester of my life!

Shout out to my gang, Spice of Life, for making this so much fun bc they are all so talented and easy to work with! The Corporalki both understood my writing which made the revising/editing process really smooth. They made sure the fic you’re about to read is actually understandable. They read this more than once and in the midst of their own crazy lives which I will never not be thankfull for. The Materialki are ridiculously talented. You HAVE to click their links to check out their work. I know they all worked really hard on them and it totally paid off.

Also big thank you to @grishaversebigbang​ for hosting this and being a terrifying yet wonderful Master of Tides.

Please feel free to comment, reblog, or message me your reactions to this! It’s the first super long pic that I’ve ever written and I’m really proud of it. Okay enough rambling…ik y’all just want the fic!

Corporalki: @ninxszenik , @ethereal-magia

Materialki: @theartistwitch  @wavesofinkdrops @xan-drei

Masterlist: Don’t have an Ao3 but I do have a master list of all my fics.

Summary: Inej Ghafa hasn’t seen her family in four years. Not since she’s been taken. Now that it’s been so long since she’s seen them, Inej is scared and nervous to go back. One night, while sitting on the rooftop, Kaz asks her to teach him Suli. That inspires Inej to fight her nerves and finally find her family. She asks Kaz to go home with her and he takes this opportunity to learn more about her and her people. Once home, Inej is faced with a guilt of her past, the fear of family’s reactions, and the hope of finally being ghar (home).

The heart of Suli culture flowed with spice-flavored blood and beat to the sound of performance drums. It hummed through Inej’s body every time she whispered her native language to herself under Tante Heleen’s ring-clad fist. She stored the precious words so deep inside of her that she feared the garbled sounds of Kerch would drown out their melodious syllables.

Once she was under the employment of the Dregs, she would practice Suli as often as she could. Some nights she would stare into the mirror, barely recognizing the woman in front of her as she spoke in Suli to herself. She would even write letters to her family in the beautiful script they had taught her. Those letters were always burned before the ink could dry. The content didn’t matter to her. She didn’t write them for the sake of filling a paper with impossible hopes and dreams. She wrote them because she feared losing her mother tongue. It was an irrational fear that she had never been able to vocalize to anyone before. Well, at least before Kaz came into the picture. He had asked her one night if she could teach him Suli and noticed, as he always did, the change in her face at the mention of it.

“I understand if you don’t feel comfortable teaching me. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” Kaz reached out to place his hand on her leg.

Inej watched his pale, scarred knuckles rest on her knee. They had made their way up to the roof of the Crows Club, as they usually did when Inej was home. Whatever time wasn’t spent up there was used to carefully test the idea of being together.

“It’s not that I don’t feel comfortable. It’s that…” Inej’s words wandered away from her. She watched the way his thumb moved along the inside of her knee. It was such a small touch for someone else; for a different boy and a different girl that touch was meaningless. For them, it was everything.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“No. I want to. I’ve spent so many years away from Ravka and most of my people. I only ever get to speak Suli when I’m working with the Dregs or helping people escape a sinking slave ship. For years, I was afraid that one day, I would wake up and forget the language entirely.”

“Is that possible?” His deep voice sounded raspy but soothing against the black night. “Not to lose it in one day, but for you to just forget Suli that easily?”

Inej nodded slowly. “I already have.” It broke her heart to admit it. “When I first arrived to Ketterdam, everything came to me in Suli. Dreams, thoughts, speech. I had to learn to filter my words into Kerch. Now I find that more and more of my thoughts and dreams come in Kerch than they do in Suli.”

Kaz was silent for a few heartbeats. Inej felt as if she had stripped herself bare in front of the entire Barrel. It was odd to feel that way around Kaz now. He had seen and touched parts of her that no one else was ever given permission to. Kaz knew her like no other person could, yet this was a part of her she hadn’t accepted about herself, let alone explained to him. There was an intimacy that came with talking about her culture that made her feel exposed.

“The language is not the only thing that ties you to the culture, Inej. You will always be Suli as long as you carry it in your heart.”

Tears surprised Inej by burning the back of her eyelids. “Come home with me,” she spoke through the lump in her throat.

He looked taken aback. “Home? You mean Ravka?”

She nodded. Inej had felt confident the first time she asked the question, but the way Kaz was looking at her now made her doubt her request.

“Yes. To Ravka. To my family. I-I’ve been thinking about going back for a while now. I even asked Nina for her help in tracking my family down.”

“I didn’t know that,” Kaz’s eyebrows came together in a way that meant he was already calculating things. She recognized that look: scheming face.

“You may be Dirtyhands on this island, Brekker, but that doesn’t mean you’re privy to everything east of Kerch.”

Kaz grinned wickedly. “Maybe not east, but we all know that I was able to conquer the North quite easily.” This was also a new side of Kaz that she had gotten to know over the last few months: one that was playful without an edge of cruelty attached to it. The air around them changed and Inej no longer felt the sadness that usually came with thinking about home.

“We conquered the Ice Court together. With the help of some friends, which you had to beg for help from, if I remember correctly.”

Kaz looked appalled. “I never begged.”

“So you admit that you did need our help.”

“Need is a strong word, Inej. The only things I need in this world are food, air, and you.”

It was her turn to look speechless. Kaz was rarely ever so direct with her about his feelings for her. She knew, of course, that he cared for her as she did for him. It was one thing, however, for her to know it and another for him to be so forward about it.

“And because I need you, Inej, my answer is yes. I want to go to Ravka with you. I want to go everywhere and anywhere with you. We’ll conquer the world together if that’s what you want. I want to be wherever you need me to be.”

Kaz’s words echoed in her head. She would hear them every time she thought of home. Her real home. Thanks to Nina’s help, Inej was sailing to Ravka within months with Kaz by her side.

The Wraith soared through the water and, in what felt like one night’s rest, Inej’s crew was docking The Wraith in Os Kervo’s main dock. From the stern of her ship, Inej could hear the sound of her crew talking and moving. The water lapped against the underside of her ship, gently rocking her reflection back and forth.

Inej prayed in Suli as she strapped Sankt Petyr and Sankta Alina to her forearms. She tried to quell the anxious shake of her hands while Sankta Marya and Anastasia were readjusted on her thighs. Sankt Vladimir fit snugly into her boot, making Inej wonder what her mother would say at the sight of her in Fabrikator-made boots, not Suli slippers. Sankta Lizabeta with her rose-engraved handle sat at her belt, hidden under the folds of her black Suli wrap.

When not in front of a roaring crowd, the Suli were a reserved people. Despite Tante Heleen’s disgusting portrayal of her culture, Inej still loved the vibrant colors of Suli dupattas and embroidered kurtas. When she felt the jerk of the anchor settling into place, Inej realized how long it had been since she dressed in chiffon and silk. She didn’t recognize the Suli woman staring in the mirror staring back at her. For one, the sleeves were tailored to be much longer than she would have normally needed during Ravkan summers. However, she didn’t want anyone to see the network of scars that decorated her skin from years of violence. The second thing that threw off her reflection was the way she’d styled her hair. Though she performed with her hair in a braided coil, Inej knew her mother loved it best when it was wild and loose. Finally, the last time she had seen herself like this was when she was still an innocent girl who yearned to grow into a talented acrobat.

Inej was now so fundamentally different from that child. If anything, the dupatta she was wearing felt like a costume.

Knocking forced her to turn away from her damned reflection.

“Adara aaen,” Inej called out, already knowing who it would be before he stepped into the room.

“I assume that means ‘come in,’” Kaz’s slim figure filled her doorway. He was dressed in an inmanulate suit as usual, gloved hands resting on top of his crow’s head cane and a smirk on his face.

“What?” Inej hadn’t realized the words had come out in Suli instead of Kerch. It was rare for her to mix the languages up like that. The fact that it had even happened spoke of her nerves. “I’m sorry. I’ve been trying to translate everything into Suli to get some last minute practice.”

Kaz’s arrogant look slipped and he shook his head. “No need to apologize. I love hearing you speak Suli.”

Inej forced a smile to her face. “If the Saints allow it, soon that’s all you're going to hear.” She looked out the port window, watching the lazy rays of sun dance along the sky. Somehow the Ravkan sky seemed to shine brighter than the Kerch one.

“Don’t slip away from me,” Kaz prompted her gently. She realized that she had started to float off into her own thoughts, something she’d found herself doing more and more the closer they’d gotten to shore.

“Are you ready?”

“No. But I don’t think I ever will be.”

“We don’t have to do this, not if you don’t want us to. I’ll go and ask Getz to take The Wraith right back if you’ve changed your mind, or we can take a trip to Nina’s instead. Whatever you want to do, I'll be here for you.”

Inej shook her head. “I might be terrified, but I want to do this. I just feel out of place in a Suli outfit after not having worn one in so long.” Her fingers pulled at one of the tightly knitted seams.

Kaz leaned his cane against the wall, closing the door behind him. He went up to Inej and turned her to face the mirror. “I don’t think your parents will be any less happy to see you if you wore a dupatta or a kefta or a sack. They’ll be too excited to see you.” Kaz’s arms wrapped around her waist and he pulled her body into his. Inej felt his warm, solid chest against her back. She inhaled his calming smell, grateful for his presence.

“In Suli, we have a saying for people who have betrayed their kind, who have disgraced them or turned their back on them. Kadema mehim. It’s the worst sort of punishment you could receive for your actions.” She shuddered at the thought of ever hearing those words said to her. Inej herself had only ever used them once.

“I am not the same little girl who was taken from them. They might realize that and see me as forsaken. As someone who has turned away from the Saints.”

Kaz brushed her hair off to one side to rest his head on her shoulder. Kaz’s reflection towered over Inej’s own in the mirror. His sable eyes looked stubborn and unwaveringly serious. “You are many things, Inej, but a traitor is not one of them. It’s true that you are not the same girl you were when they knew you. But they will see that you grew into a brave, strong woman who will stop at nothing to do what is right for the people she loves.

“They will see that you have fought against all the odds and have become an unstoppable force that they should feel blessed to have in their lives. They will love you, Inej. It is impossible for them to not love you.”

This time she didn’t stop the tears that slid down her cheeks. She took a shuddering breath and placed a hand against his jaw. The sharp line was lined with light stubble, but that didn’t stop her from running a finger against its curve. Her fingers traced the scar beneath the right edge of jaw, thinking about the other scars that peppered his skin. Many of those scars earned alongside her.

“They will love you, too, Kaz.” Inej knew that he was almost as nervous as she was to meet her family, though he would never voice it out loud.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” He kissed her cheek and pulled away. “They might think of me as the man who corrupted their daughter.”

She shook her head. “No, they will think of you as the man who has made their daughter too happy to put into words.”

Kaz stared at his gloves, refusing to make eye contact. “Will they? Have I?”

It was her turn to reach out to him. Inej wrapped her hands around his neck. “Yes and yes. You have made their daughter happier than she ever thought possible.”

Kaz’s hands tentatively grabbed her waist. His eyes were on her lips but he didn’t move. Not until she did. Inej leaned up, catching his mouth with hers. The sounds of the crew and the ocean were replaced by the sound of her heart in her chest. Kaz was always gentle with her. His kisses were soft like the petals of spring and sweet like caramel. He held her like there was nothing that could ever separate them.

Inej sighed, melting into his every touch. It was impossible to feel anxious or scared in his arms. His fingers pressed into her silk wrap and Inej released a gasp. Kaz took that opportunity to take everything she gave him. Her skin suddenly burned. The sweetness was still there, dancing with a fiery spice that surprised her. They had rarely ever held each other this long without the waters swallowing him up.

His hands buried themselves in her long hair. Inej reached into his jacket, feeling the muscles beneath his white shirt. Kaz then broke away, breathing hard and shuddering. His face was flushed and his lips looked deliciously swollen.

Inej, realizing what they had done, began to apologize for having been too forward.

“No. It wasn’t you. Believe me, it wasn’t that.” Kaz shook his head, gloved hands holding hers against his chest.

“But if it wasn’t...why did you stop?” Inej could feel a blush spreading across her cheeks.

“I really didn’t want to,” Kaz’s gaze made goosebumps dance across her skin. “But we need to leave soon if we want to make it to Ivets before dark. And to be quite honest with you, Wraith, I’m not sure how far we would have gone this time. I really didn’t want to stop.”

Inej laughed. “Neither did I. It’s okay. We’ll have time another day. We have the rest of our lives to do that and so much more.”

“Captain,” Getz called from outside her door. “The crew’s settled and waiting for your orders.”

“Duty calls, Wraith.” Kaz’s smile was as sharp as ever. He adjusted the tie she’d crinkled.

Inej pulled her shoulders back, stepped through the doorway and told her crew that they could do as they pleased for a few hours. Within the next hour, she and Kaz were on their way to Ivets, the city where Nina had informed Inej her family would be performing for the next week. Every road they passed brought her closer and closer to her family. Inej could hardly contain her excitement and nervousness. While passing a crowded marketplace, Inej almost barreled into a group of children running across the street.

“Whoa, Inej,” Kaz called as he held her back from stepping into the walkway. “Careful. I know you’re excited to see your family, but even I think it’s a little much to trample a few children along the way.”

“Could you imagine that after getting back to Ketterdam, the Wraith and Dirtyhands voyaged all the way to some unknown city in Ravka just to run over a few children?” she joked, though her voice wavered enough for Kaz to notice.

“When you put it like that...” Kaz’s eyes had the same spark in them that always appeared right before a job. “While that does sound tempting, I think my bloodthirsty reputation will survive despite having let them live.”

By sunset, Inej could hear the pounding of Suli drums. They had passed through the heart of Ivets’ main city before reaching the boundary of an open field. A golden tent heavily embroidered with thick swirls rose high over the clearing. Inej’s breath caught in her throat at the familiar sound of Suli folk music floating outside of its flowing entrance. Sweet curling smoke filled the air with the smell of fried dough, glazed fruits, and…

The smell of her family gatherings to celebrate the Saints. She envisioned her mother, kind and beautiful, carrying baskets full of fresh vegetables for dinner. Her father, strong and brave, chopping potatoes alongside his wife. Her cousins fighting over plates of food. Her aunts handing out sticky sweets. Her uncles setting up place settings.

The music reminded her of the first time she stood on a tightrope. The bottomless drop that yawned beneath her and the open sky that blanketed her. How it felt to be covered in performance glitter and to curl her hair to fall around her round cheeks. She remembered scrapping her hands on trees, trying to beat her cousins to the top. How it felt to look over the Ravkan landscape and see nothing but endless opportunities.

After years of darkness, years of bloodshed, years of the staccato sounds of Kerch, Inej Ghafa was finally home.

Home...and rooted to her spot at the edge of the circus grounds. Ravkans stood in line, waiting to be let into the performance tent; the same tent that she had spent countless days in during the early years of her life. A bronze-skinned man stepped out of the tent, dressed in loose fitted black pants and a thick, colorful coat. His voice was deep and stern as he hollered the rules of the performance out into the crowd of people.

Inej stared in wonder, unsure about who the man was. Chaacha Jilé was the one who used to tame the crowds before they entered the performance area. The man at the entrance was not her uncle.

“Hanzi,” the name came to her with a jolt.

Inej was suddenly flying. Or at least that’s what it felt like as the grass was crushed beneath her racing feet. One minute, she was standing beside Kaz and the next, she was running straight to her cousin, pushing through the crowd of guests until she stood at the very front.

“Hanzi,” she said again, this time facing the man whom she now recognized.

Her cousin’s words died on his lips and he froze, arms limp at his sides as looked at her. “Inej?”

A sob escaped her. She could hear the sound of the crowd’s confusion but she didn’t care.

“Hanzi,” was all that she could say.

His face broke into a smile. A roaring shout came from him as he yelled in Suli. “Inej! Inej is here! Masi Calla! Chaacha Baraz! Inej is home!”

Tears streamed down her face at the sound of her parents’ names: Calla and Baraz. Mama and Papa. Inej waited anxiously as the longest few seconds of her life passed. She could see from the sliver opening in the flaps a flurry of motion. She caught her name be repeated and questions thrown. Hanzi shouted again, tears in his own eyes.

Inej’s whole world froze as Mama and Papa came through the entrance. They stepped out, first looking at her cousin with an agonizing look of hope and confusion on their faces.

“Mama. Papa.”

They turned towards Inej as she called out to them. Her mother’s face was more wrinkled than it had been when she’d been taken. Her hair was still long and elegantly braided to the side. Her father’s beard was mixed with grays where it was once solid black. He was clutching his wife’s shoulder, eyes landing on his daughter for the first time in four years.

“Inej.” He didn’t say her name like Hanzi had. He said it with such certainty and conviction that it made Inej’s knees give out from under her.

Before her body could fully hit the ground, her parents’ arms were around her. She buried her face in her mother’s shoulder and wrapped an arm around her father’s waist.

“Esfir,” her mother whispered in her ear. Inej couldn’t describe the relief and joy that flooded through her at the word.

Esfir was Suli for ‘little star.’ Late at night, they used to tuck her under her covers with a kiss. Her mother used to say that Inej was her little star and her father would explain that she was their guiding light.

Inej didn’t know how long they sat in the damp grass, crying and hugging and whispering to each other.

“I’m home,” she would say.

“You’re home.” One of them would repeat.

“I prayed to all of the Saints that you would find your way home to us.” Her father said.

“They called us fools. Said that we would never see you again. They told us that you were taken too far for us to ever reach you again,” her mother cried.

“Never,” Inej promised. “I will never be too far to come back home. The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true. My heart is here.”

After some time, Inej realized that the rest of her family had come outside of the tent. Night had fallen and the crowd was now gone. Her older cousins looked as if Sankt Juris had come down to blow his blue flames. Disbelief filled their faces. Some of her younger cousins looked just as shocked, though less afraid of her. Inej also noticed the soft coos of the newest editions to her family. One toddler who must have born within the first year she was at the Menagerie. Two more who looked as though they came along while she was in service with the Dregs.

The Dregs. Kaz.

Inej pulled away from her parents, realizing who else she had forgotten about for the second time that night.

“Mama. Papa. I didn’t come here alone,” her words scratched against her throat. She hadn’t realized the tears had dried out her voice until that moment.

Inej turned around, knowing that Kaz would have waited as long as she needed him to. He still stood towards the edge of the trees. Inej called out to him in Kerch.

Kaz came forward, trying his best not to look like Dirtyhands under the cover of night with his crow’s head cane and thick gloves. Though he no longer needed them with her, Inej knew that he wasn’t ready to hug every member of her teary-eyed family.

Kaz stood beside her. Inej took his hand in hers and squeezed tightly.

“This is Kaz.” Inej had practiced this speech so many times in her head. She had carefully racked her brain for the proper words in Suli to say what she needed to say.

“Kaz and I...we have been through too many things together to explain in one night. Most of the last four years have been cruel and lonely. Kaz has been one of the few good things to come into my life since I was fourteen,” her words choked off. “I ask that you be kind to him and embrace him as a part of my life. He has saved it in many ways over the years. In some ways, it is thanks to him that I am here.”

Her father stood from where he was still crouched in the grass. He approached Kaz, looking more serious than Inej had ever seen him look in her life. He stood a few inches shorter than Kaz, but still managed to look down at him.

“Do you speak Suli?” Baraz asked him.

“No-” Inej was cut off by Kaz.

“Not fluently, but I am learning.” Kaz shocked her by responding in fluid Suli instead of Kerch. He gave her side-eyed look, clearly enjoying the shocked look on her face.

Her father nodded. “Then I can thank you properly. For helping my daughter return to us.”

Kaz bowed his head. “Inej is the wisest, most determined person I have ever met. She would have found her way back to you with or without me.”

Baraz laughed, “Esfir is just like her mother in that way. Nothing stands in the way of her and what she wants.”

Inej smiled in relief. “That is true. And right now, what I want is some stuffed peppers and goulash made the proper Suli way.”

Her mother laughed, standing to embrace Inej once again. “You can have whatever you would like, Inej.”

“My turn!” Hanzi called out from the cluster of cousins closest to her. Inej turned to find him now barreling towards her.

Inej froze for a second, not feeling entirely comfortable with the tight embrace. She tried her best to laugh through the rush of panic. It hadn’t even occurred to her until that moment how her homecoming would be full of physical touching that she wasn’t entirely ready for.

Her arms didn’t move from her sides, but at least she didn’t pull away until he did. Hanzi didn’t seem to register her tight shoulders.

“I can’t believe you’re really back, Inej! What took you so long? Adja has been driving me crazy. She thinks that she’s in charge now because she can do a handstand on the highwire, but now that you’re back, you can prove to her that you’re in charge. I even reminded her that you used to be able to do an entire double front routine on the high wire without a net.” While her older cousin may have gotten older, he still rambled half made up tales as though he hadn’t aged a day.

“I don’t even have the energy to explain how wrong that is,” Inej shook her head at her cousin’s infectious joy. Hanzi had always been one of her favorites because, no matter what, he could always tell some ridiculous story to make her laugh.

“First of all,” a female voice interjected, “I’ve been able to do a handstand on the high wire for years. Second, all I said was that you weren’t in charge, Hanzi.” Adja said from behind him. She was only two years younger than Inej, but she had been terrified of the high wire. While Inej had danced around it barefoot, Adja refused to step onto one.

“Come on, Nej. Remind Adja who the real master is!”

“No,” Calla stood in between her daughter and her nephew. “Inej has only been with us for a few minutes and already you are trying to get her in trouble,” her mother chided Hanzi.

Kaz chuckled from behind her. It was clear from his expression that, while he wasn’t able to understand all of their conversation, the sound of an upset mother seemed to be universally understood.

“Come, Esfir. We’re going to have a proper welcome dinner,” her mother nodded towards the rest of her family. “Disah and Remen, go to the Ivetan market…”

Inej allowed her mother to assign everyone their tasks while she looked back at Kaz. He was smiling, looking proud of her, but she couldn’t tell why.

“What?” she asked him in quiet Kerch.

“You didn’t pull away when he hugged you,” he truly looked proud of her. Inej looked towards Hanzi worriedly.

“No. I didn’t exactly hug him back.” It would have been a lie to act as though she wasn’t disappointed in her reaction to Hanzi’s embrace. It was an unexpected reality of what she had endured all those years ago. “Do you think they noticed?”

“He was too excited to have you back to notice,” Kaz shook his head. “That’s not the point. The point is that you didn’t pull away. It wasn’t easy, but you did it, Inej. You’re home and your family couldn’t be more happy to see you.”

She took a deep breath. She hadn’t even realized that her nervousness had started to creep up on her after Hanzi’s hug until now. For a while there, she had forgotten about all of her anxieties. Now that her family had split itself into their roles to prepare for her homecoming diner, she had a quiet moment to be reminded of them.

That was when Kaz, ever supportive and aware of how she was feeling, stepped in to ease her nerves. “Kaz, do you think I should tell them the truth?”

“You don’t owe anyone any explanations. You tell them as much as you want to. It’s your story to tell.”

Inej had known long before that night on the rooftop that she was in love with Kaz. She had known for quite some time. As she stared into his honest eyes, surrounded by the sounds of her family, Inej was reminded of how deep her love for Kaz Brekker went.

“What did I ever do for the Saints to bless me with you,” she wondered out loud.

It was hard to tell with the pale moonlight as her only source of light, but for a moment, Inej thought that she saw Kaz’s face blush. His gaze left her and landed on the starry Ravkan sky.

“I ask myself the same question about you every day that we are together, Inej.”

“Nej!” Adja yelled from the performance tent. “Masi Calla asked me to help you and your...friend...find new clothes.”

Inej looked down at her Suli dupatta. “What’s wrong with what we have on now?”

Adja eyed the Wraith and Dirtyhands with pursed lips. “You both look as though you’re going to a funeral. Tonight is a party, Nej. You need to be dressed in party clothes. Now let's go, Masi might cut the wire during our next performance if I don’t get you both dressed in time.”

Inej remembered how her mother used to fuss over her dirty silks when she came back inside from an afternoon spent playing outside. “You’re right. Mama would absolutely do something like that.”

“Where are we going?” Kaz asked her, keeping up with her hurried steps with his usual ease.

Inej glanced at him. “Oh, so you suddenly don’t speak Suli anymore?” They walked around the performance tent to the line of caravans far behind it.

Kaz smirked arrogantly. “I never said I did. Just that I was learning. You didn’t think that I was going to come and meet your entire family without at least attempting to familiarize myself with the language, did you? It’s not that difficult to memorize a few phrases here and there.”

She pushed him lightly with her shoulder. “How about on the boat? Were you faking then?”

Kaz shook his head. “Technically, I wasn’t faking. I know some words and phrases, but not everything. Not yet. Give me a few weeks with your family and I’ll be fluent.”

Inej rolled her eyes. “Not a chance, Brekker. My language is too poetic for a shevrati like you to con your way in that short amount of time. Memorizing a few parables is not the same thing as being able to use all the beautiful nuances we have.”

“It would be easier if I had some help from a beautiful and smart teacher.”

“You’re right. I think Hanzi would probably be willing to sign up.”

“It’s rude to speak in another language, you know,” Adja said from in front of them. The three of them finally stopped in front of Adja’s family caravan.

Kaz shot a glance at her cousin. Inej translated and he apologized in Suli.

“Not you,” Adja nodded towards Inej. “I meant Nej. She was always a quiet one, you know. At least you got her talking.”

Kaz nodded along pleasantly thought it was clear he didn’t understand. When Inej explained, his bitter coffee eyes looked amused.

“I wasn’t quiet, Adja. Hanzi was just usually screaming over me about nothing.”

Adja giggled and unlocked the door. “That is probably true. I was thinking, you should fit in my outfit from Sankta Day last year instead of just a normal dupatta. As for Ka-s,” she stumbled on his Kerch name, “He can borrow Papa’s performance kurta.”

Kaz looked somber, but didn’t argue. “Chaacha Micta used to make some interesting fashion choices,” Inej explained to him as her cousin went in search of the outfits.

“How so?”

Inej bit her lip, holding back laughter. “Let’s just say that he probably could take a few tips from Jesper.”

His eyes widened. “Inej-”

It was too late. Adja emerged from behind a curtain carrying multiple pieces of thick fabric. For Inej, she had a neatly folded Anarkali suit of rich burgundy. Sparkling gold embroidery lined the long, slightly flared skirt and traced the cuffs of the fitted sleeves. A light, white and gold wrap also came with the outfit. On top of it sat a pair of high heels that matched the wine-colored clothes. Inej took the clothes into her hands, feeling the soft yet firm fabrics that were saved for more festive clothing in her culture.

“It might be a little long for you,” Adja eyed Inej’s smaller frame. “But it will do.”

“Thank you, Adja.”

She shrugged off her cousin’s thanks. Her other hand still held Kaz’s outfit. He was standing dangerously still beside Inej. His face was blank of any reaction, but Inej could only imagine what was going through his head. While her outfit was designed with elegance and grace in mind, Kaz’s was made for a true showman. Or at least for a color blind one.

Chaacha Micta had a performance kurta that was radiant white with orange and green gems cascading down the sleeves. Sunset colored pants were folded to match the sparkling jewels. It was both bright and sparkly, two things Kaz hated in clothing.

“Dhanyavaad,” Kaz mimicked Inej’s Suli to thank Adja. Inej was reminded of how good of a liar he was because if she hadn’t known better, she would have thought Kaz looked almost excited to wear her uncle’s kurta.

Adja beamed, looking between the two. “I don’t think Chaacha Baraz or Masi Calla would be okay with me leaving you two in here alone to change but…” Her cousin broke off and shrugged. “If you brought, Ka-s all the way here, I have to assume that it is not the first time you’ve been left alone.”

Heat flooded Inej’s cheeks. She couldn’t meet Adja’s eyes when she nodded. “It’s okay. Mama and Papa won’t know if you don’t tell.”

Adja continued to look between them. It was the same look Nina had given them before Inej had actually opened up about her relationship with Kaz. A look that said that Adja could see something they couldn’t. She was used to getting that look from her friends or other Dregs, but it was a little unnerving to see that look in the eyes of someone she hadn’t seen in years.

“Just don’t take too long. Chaacha and Masi will seriously cut the rope if they find out about this,” she pointed between Kaz and Inej. She swiftly ran out of the caravan, giggling at Inej’s eye roll.

Once she was out the door, Inej’s focus was back on Kaz. His polite smile dropped with Adja out of sight.

Kaz spoke seriously, “Inej, you know that I care for you deeply. More than anything in this world, I care for you.”

Warmth filled her heart, but her eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

“Because I care for you, I want your family to like me.”

“I already told you-”

“Yes, I know. I’m wonderful. A trickster god amongst men. But that’s not what I’m worried about.”

“Then what is it?”

Kaz looked at her in disbelief. “Do you even have to ask me that question? This,” Kaz raised the clothes in his hands to meet her eye level. “I’ve never seen anything so…”

Laughter burst out from Inej. She quickly moved to cover her mouth with her hands, but there was no concealing the way her body shook from amusement.

“That is a traditional Suli kurta, Kaz. It’s an important part of my culture.”

He shook his head. “I have seen kurtas. This does not look like that. This looks like some nightmare Jesper and Nina would have designed.”

“Poor Dirtyhands is too insecure to wear something so dazzling,” Inej placed a hand on his cheek. She ran a finger down the sharp cut of his jawline. “I’m sure you’ll look great. Not as good as Chaacha would in it, but a close second.”

Kaz’s eyes held a playful fury. His ebony eyes only ever fixed on her that way. It was a look that promised both a punishment and sweet reward for her words.

“If the Dregs ever find out about this…”

A wicked smile broke onto her face. “I can’t imagine how they would. I keep all your secrets.”

“Don’t even think about telling them, Wraith.” One of Kaz’s arms found her waist.

“Jesper, on the other hand,” her fingers moved to run through his hair. “Jesper is a bit of a big mouth. If this somehow got to him, I don’t think there is any way of stopping him.”

“I can think of at least twelve different ways I could stop him with this kurta alone.” His face moved closer to hers.

Inej turned so his lips landed on her cheek. “No time for that, Brekker. We have to get dressed.”

He sighed and gave the bedazzled shirt a weary look. “If you ever doubt how I feel about you, Inej, just remember this moment.” Before she could respond, Kaz gestured towards the room Adja had gone into to find the clothes. “I’ll change in there.”

Time and time again, Kaz reminded her of why she fell for him in the first place. He had seen every part of her and touched almost all of her, yet Kaz never made assumptions about her limits. No matter how far they had or hadn’t gone, Kaz always asked for permission. On the nights when all she could do was hold his hand, he never pushed her to go further. Even now, after what had happened on the boat and having had met her family, Kaz gave Inej the privacy she needed without hesitation.

With Kaz gone from her sight, Inej was left to unstrap her daggers and quickly dressed into Adja’s Anarkali suit. After a few minutes, Inej stopped hearing Kaz’s quiet cursing.

“I’m almost ready.” She called to him through the curtain.

He shuffled around on his side of the caravan. “This looks even worse than I imagined.”

Inej ignored him, debating whether or not to strap on her beloved blades for the feast.

“Inej?”

“I’m almost ready, you can come out.”

Kaz had been right. The kurta had looked worse than she had imagined. The shirt hung at little too loose from his slight frame, but the pants were too short for his tall stature. They stopped just above his ankles, showing a peak of his white socks.

“Oh.” Inej cringed. “You were not joking.”

Kaz looked at her intently. “You look beautiful, Inej.”

Inej had yet to see herself in the mirror, but Kaz’s reaction was all she needed to confirm what she had already suspected. Adja was slim like Inej but stood a few inches over Inej . The rest of her outfit fit as it was tailored to. The top complimented her figure while the bottom flared out into an elegant skirt that pooled around Inej’s feet more than she would have normally allowed. It wasn’t perfect, but she loved it regardless.

“Traditionally, I would have special Sankta Day earrings that have some sort of token to represent a Saint.” Inej absentmindedly tugged at her ears. “Though, I haven’t worn any earrings since leaving the Menagerie.”

His look softened. Kaz forgot all about his unfortunate attire. “Would you like to? I’m sure Adja would let you borrow hers.”

“The holes have closed by now. It’s okay. I don’t need them. I have these.” She slid Sankt Petyr, the dagger he had given her so long ago, into place. She tried to ignore the fact that it took her far less time to strap all seven of her blades into place than it had to properly dress herself in the Sankta Day skirt.

“I’ll tell Adja we’re ready.”

“Wait,” Kaz’s fingers intertwined with hers. He reached into the pocket of his pants and pulled out a matingkia made of expensive gold and rich-colored stones. It was simple, as far as Suli headpieces went, with one clear diamond in the middle of a small ruby flower.

“Kaz,” Inej’s breath caught in her throat. “Where did you find this?” Her fingers curved delicately around the precious metal.

“A vendor in Ketterdam had a tent full of Suli jewelry. He has a Suli wife that makes all the items to sell.”

“Do you believe him?” It was more than possible that the vendor’s story was a ruse to get more money from gullible tourists visiting the island.

“I’ve met her.”

“You did?”

“Yes. When I asked her to make this one for you.”

The matingka felt heavier in her hand than it had moments ago. “You asked her to make this for me?” Inej tried to envision Dirtyhands entering a Kerch market to meet with an ederlly Suli woman. She thought of how long he must have spent picking the design, and then jewels to place in it.

“I don’t know what to say,” she whispered to him. “She’s clearly very talented.”

Kaz tried not to look too smug which was a change for him. “Only the best for my Wraith.”

“Sometimes we wear them for special holidays.” Inej debated whether or not to say the next part. She didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by making any assumptions. “These are traditionally given to Suli women by their father or husbands.”

She saw him nod nervously. “I know. The woman, Gintha, explained to me the tradition. She said fathers would give them to their daughters and pray that the Saints would give them wisdom as they grew into strong women.”

“Did she tell you why husbands give them to their brides?” She couldn’t deny the fear or eagerness that she felt waiting for his answer.

“To symbolize the love and respect he promises to show her every day after they are wed. The same love and respect that I have felt for you every day for too many years to count.”

Inej’s body was frozen with emotion. Love. Kaz loved her. He didn’t just love her. He respected her. Respected her boundaries and dreams and goals.

“Nej! Are you done yet?” Adja suddenly banged against the door of the caravan.

The reality of her situation flooded back to Inej. For a few moments, she had forgotten who she was. Where she was. Inej took the head piece, not bothering to hide her flustered look as she pushed Kaz back behind the curtain.

“Get out of those clothes. Hurry!” Kaz laughed and she realized how her words sounded. “No! That’s not what I meant. I mean change back into yours! My family will just have to deal with your Kerch suit during dinner.”

She rushed back to the door and let Adja in. “I’m almost ready.”

Adja looked her up and down. “It fits better than I thought. And Ka-s?”

“The clothes didn’t fit him so he’s changing back into his. Here,” she handed Adja the matingka. “Can you help me put this on?”

“Did he give this to you?” she pointed towards the curtain.

“Yes. Now help me put it on. I’ve never put one on myself. Papa only ever put it on me once.”

Adja waved her off. “It’s easy.” She spun Inej around and took a few hair pins from her own brown hair to fasten it into place. “There! Done! Just in time.”

Kaz walked into the room, looking much less miserable now that he was dressed in his own clothes.

“Tell her that her father’s wardrobe should be burned.”

“He says that he loved the kurta and is sorry that it didn’t fit,” Inej easily lied. “Also your tie is crooked again.”

He cursed under his breath and nervously put into place as her cousin spoke.

Adja beamed at her. “I don’t believe that’s true, but it doesn’t matter. Come on! Everyone is waiting for you.”

Inej’s stomach turned over nervously. She had been so overcome with emotions when she’d first greeted her family. Those emotions were starting to settle, but in their place grew the seeds of anxiety once again.

Inej and Kaz trailed behind Adja as they made their way back from the caravan section of their carnival to the performance area. Inej looked around the cool night air, keeping track of all the things that looked familiar and different at the same time.

She pointed to a smaller performance tent made of a thick white sheet. “What’s that?” she asked Adja.

“We started to tour with a second family about two years ago. Hanzi is engaged to the daughter of their paira vaala.” A breeze opened the flap of the white tent and Inej could see the bed of coals used for the paira vaala, or fire walker.

“Hanzi’s getting married?” Inej couldn’t imagine her cousin as she had last known him having a fiancé. He was always too loud and playful when around his family, but unearthly quiet around other girls their age.

“I know! We were all just as surprised as you were. Chaacha Jilē almost fainted.”

“He didn’t tell them that he was seeing her?” Inej’s surprise only grew. While she may not have gotten her parents’ permission before choosing to be with Kaz, her situation hadn’t given the option of choosing the favored Suli traditions.

“He didn’t even tell me! And I’m his favorite bhara. At least I have been since you…” Left? Were taken? Disappeared? Inej could hear the end of Adja’s sentence even if her cousin didn’t want to fill it in.

“I remember that,” Inej awkwardly filled the silence. She pointed to a section of tents reserved for carnival games. “Kila,” one of their older cousins, “once bet me thirteen kruge that I couldn’t win every game in the tent.”

“Kroog?” It wasn’t until the word left Adja’s mouth that Inej realized that she’d forgotten the Suli word for currency or money. It was such a small thing to forget, but it made her stop in her tracks.

“I-” she started to explain. “I’m sorry. I guess I just haven’t used that word in Suli in a few years. Uhm,” Inej racked her brain, digging deep into her memories to find the right word.

“What’s wrong?” Kaz, who had been silently listening to their conversation, spoke up. He couldn’t understand them, but he could see Inej’s face change. “I think I heard you say ‘kruge.’”

She shook her head, momentarily confused as Suli and Kerch collided with each other in her head. Rupe. The word finally came to her in a blunt memory. “I forgot the Suli word for money,” she said to him in Kerch and then explained it to her cousin again.

“Oh!” Adja didn’t seem fazed by her cousin’s slip up. “Kila was such a gambler. A terrible one too. Though I guess he doesn’t need to worry about that anymore. He married a wealthy Shu family. How he wiggled his way into that, I have no idea.”

Inej nodded along as Adja rambled. She was no longer listening to her cousin’s end of the conversation. Instead, she began filing through the mental dictionary in her brain. What other words had she forgotten?

Bread? Roti. Butterfly? Titali. Bowl? Katora. Horse? Ghora. Ocean? Samudara.

Random words were tossed and turned in her head. Adja continued to talk about their uncles and aunts. She went through family gossip as quickly as Nina went through maple-drizzled waffles. Inej didn’t hear any of it. All she could hear was the sound of her Suli-Kerch dictionary flipping page after page.

Torsion wrench? What was the Suli word for the little tool she had used numerous times to pick a lock? Had she ever known the word? Had she ever needed to use that word in her native language before? Would she even need to say torsion wrench during dinner tonight?

Ketterdam isn’t all that bad. At least I learned how to pick locks using a torsion wrench.

No, there was no way she could even imagine herself saying something like that to her family. Inej realized that she had let her nerves run a little too wild. Adja hadn’t even noticed when she said “kruge” instead of “rupe”. The odds of her family being upset with her for not remembering a word here and there were small.

Kaz tugged on the fabric of her skirt, drawing her attention to him once again. His dark eyes met hers, silently asking her once again if she was okay. This time she didn’t have to force a smile on her face to reassure him.

“How did Mama put together a dinner so quickly?” Inej said the moment the smell of paprika, garlic and bell peppers hit her. They had circled back around to the performance tent. Instead of it holding a crowd of entertained Ravkans, tonight, the tent would be used to spread out a Saints-worthy feast.

Adja beamed at her. “Masi Calla asked all of our masis and chaachas that were cooking dinner for after the show to add extra coals to the fires. Some of the food had to be bought from the markets so it won’t be exactly like you’re used to, but it’s all that we could get together so quickly.”

“It’s perfect. You could have fed me rocks and I would have been just as happy to be home.”

The heavy tent flaps were pulled wide open and she could see dark-haired figures moving frantically around the tent. The round seats used for audience members were stacked on top of each other. Inej remembered how long it took to carry the iron seats from the caravans to place them in their rows. She had been too small to carry them herself, so she would hold the bottom half of a stack while Hanzi carried the brunt of the weight.

The high ropes were still strung up from their looming poles. She itched to climb up and test her technique. The chaacha who had first taught her how to balance was strict about proper posture. Though she had no real use for it when sleuthing for the Dregs, she could still hear his sharp calls to straighten her spine or keep her gaze forward.

“Make room! Inej the Great has entered the tent!” Hanzi exclaimed. His voice cut through the flurry of her family’s movement. Inej realized why her uncle had stepped down to let Hanzi handle the crowds. His deep voice was effective when it came to getting a crowd’s attention.

Toffee and hazel eyes all met hers. All of her family, almost twice as many as earlier, froze where they were to stare at her and Kaz. His gloved fingers curved in hers, but no one seemed to care at that gesture as much as they cared about the dazzling headpiece sparkling in the candlelight. Her parents had tears in their eyes as if it was the first time they were seeing her again. Inej had to hold back tears of her own. She saw the circle of food splayed out around the lush carpets dragged from Saints know where to cushion the hard ground.

Sarma, stuffed peppers, bogacha, and xaimoko were still in their metallic cooking pots, steaming as if the fire had just been dosed from under them. Pirogo and xaritsa sat in porcelain crockery that Inej suspected came from the Ivetan market her cousin had mentioned. Silver kettles of chao filled the room with a lingering sweet smell. Dark cups of kafa were already served and in the hands of some to her cousins.

The meal flooded her with too many memories to catch at once. She was swimming in a stream of random memories. Her tongue burning from spicy stuffed peppers and then from chugging a fresh cup of chao in a vain attempt to ease the sting. Mama teaching her how to prepare the sarma properly. Papa stiring a pot of goulash.

“Why are you just standing there? Come! Sit!” Papa gestured to a spot right in front of Inej’s favorite platter.

She blinked back tears. No more tears. Tonight was for celebrating all that she had come back to, not for mourning the years she had lost.

“Some of it had to be bought so it won’t taste exactly like you remember but-” Her mother rushed to her side, holding her daughter’s hand and pulling her and Kaz towards her father.

“Mama, I don’t care how the food tastes. This is already so much more than I could ask for. Just being with you and Papa and everyone else is enough for me.”

Her mother’s dark brows furrowed. She took great pride in her cooking, as a Suli should. “Yes, yes, but still...If you had sent us some sort of message so we could have been prepared, the food would have all been ready. We would have canceled the show much sooner. But no, leave it to our little Esfir to show up as if the Saints had let her fall from their very sky at random.” The novelty of Inej’s arrival was definitely wearing off if her mother was already scolding her.

She laughed despite her mother’s pointed words. Inej settled in her seat comfortably. Kaz sat beside her, looking so out of place in this bright colored tent surrounded by equally colorful kurtas. She couldn’t believe the sight in front of her. Kaz Brekker being handed a steaming cup of chao in his crisp, black suit.

Her own hands were already clutching a plate overflowing with food. Her father had served her heaping spoonfuls of every dish that sat before her. He paused, looking at Kaz curiously.

“Eh...food?” Her father surprised her with the Kerch word. She hadn’t known he spoke any Kerch.

Kaz nodded, “Krpya.”

Her father looked excited by his answer. He piled almost as much food on his plate as he had on hers. Kaz was excellent at hiding his emotions, but there was no hiding the amusement in his eyes. He took the plate with open arms. Everyone, including Inej, watched as Kaz lifted a fork to take a scoop of the rice-stuffed green pepper. He didn’t even flinch at what she could assume to be the spiciest bite of food he’d ever had. He chewed slowly, ignoring the flush that creeped up his neck. Judging from the smell, her family hadn’t held back when it came to spices that night. Finally he smiled, thanking her father for the food.

That seemed to be the cue her family had been waiting for. Everyone unfroze and went for a plate.

Kaz waited until they were no longer staring at him to reach for the tea. She had to bite back a laugh as he gulped down the entire cup.

“Spicy?” She asked, already knowing the answer.

Kaz looked at her as if she had grown an extra ear. “Spicy? Inej, I thought I was going to die.”

This time she couldn’t hold back the laugh. Everything about the night filled her with so much joy and laughter that Inej had to put down her food for a second. Her stomach burned from the giggles that shook her body. Kaz was actually blushing as her cousins closests to her looked at them.

“Kaz said the food almost killed him.” She explained to them. “The Kerch prefer their food much less seasoned. Mostly a hint of salt and pepper. It’s actually very sad.”

All of them broke out into smiles.

Her mother who was still standing behind them said, “Tell Ka-s that he’ll have to get used to real food if he’s decided to stay with you.” She placed a hand on Kaz’s shoulder affectionately.

Kaz, clearly not expecting the sudden touch, went still. His body tensed beneath the touch and his jaw tightened. Her mother noticed the change in his posture and jerked her hand back. She looked at her daughter quickly, but Inej could see the hurt and confusion in her eyes even if it was just for a second.

“It’s not you, Mama.” She rushed to explain for Kaz. His eyes had dropped to the plate resting on his lap.

“I told you that our life in Ketterdam wasn’t easy.” She tried to find a way of explaining without revealing too much of Kaz’s past. “He isn’t used to people touching him unless they’re trying to hurt him. Give him time, Mama.” That part was at least true.

Her mother nodded, looking apologetic but no less confused. This time she was looking at the visible scars along Inej’s arms. Her cousin’s outfit didn’t hide them the way her earlier outfit had.

Hanzi, who was watching the whole exchange from across the tent, spoke out. “What was it like, Nej? In Ketterdam?”

His father, Chaacha Jilé, used a serving spoon to give him a hard tap on the head. “Hanzi!”

“What? We were all thinking it!”

His father shook his head. “You know better than to ask that kind of question.”

“It’s okay.” Inej cut in before her uncle could use the spoon again. “Hanzi is right. You all want to know what happened. I don’t blame you.”

“See!” Hanzi pointed a vindicated finger towards Inej.

“Hush!” His father waved the spoon in front of his son.

She bit back a smile and continued. Inej looked at Kaz. His rigid spine loosened a bit, but he still looked a bit on edge. “I’m going to tell them.”

A small smile tugged on his mouth. “You know I support whatever decision you make.”

It was all the encouragement she needed. “Mama, Papa, you may want to sit down. It’s a long story and most of it isn’t pleasant.”

Her mother worriedly sat beside her. Her father put an arm around her shoulders, physically supporting his wife in the same way Kaz had just supported her.

“I was taken by slavers. They broke in and took me just as the sun had started to rise. They brought me to Ketterdam, where I was sold to a heartless woman who made me do unspeakable things for terrible men. Kaz worked for a group of young men trying to build a new business and went to meet with the woman at the request of his boss. I realized I could escape with his help, so I offered him my skills as an acrobat. He agreed to employ me legally and without having to do any of the things that I was doing there. He taught me how to defend myself. I worked as his spy and I was good at it.

“Ketterdam… it can be an ugly place that brings the ugliness out of even the best people. I’ve done things I pray the Saints will one day forgive me for; but I’m not the same girl I was when I was taken. If I was, I don’t think I would have made it through the first night in that city. I will never be that girl again, no matter how hard I try. And I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth.

“I was able to eventually afford a ship and a crew to run it. Now, I'm the captain of a crew of people dedicated to keeping other people from having to go through what I went through. I hope that the work I do at sea can help weaken any shadows I have created during my years in Ketterdam.”

Inej had, of course, changed a few details in her story. There was no way she was going to tell her entire family that the “business” Kaz was running was actually a deadly street gang. She was also never going to explain to them exactly how good at her job she had gotten. They would never understand the things she had done. In fact, if they could see the crimson stains on her hands, they’d probably be so repulsed that they would kick her out on the spot.

Her mother was crying again. Her father looked heartbroken as if all of his worst fears had come true.

“Inej…” Adja spoke first. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

Inej was surprised to realize that she wasn’t in tears as she feared she would have been. “It’s not your fault.” She looked at her parents, realizing that they must have carried some guilt with her disappearance just as she carried the shame of the things she had done.

“Nor is it yours. We couldn’t have known those slavers were going to break into our home. You two did everything you were supposed to. When things were at their worst, I could hear your voices teaching me how to pray to the Saints. I was able to survive so long because I always carried the hope you taught me to hold on to. The hope that I would one day return to you.”

Her father looked furiously stubborn as he said, “And you have. You are home, Inej. That’s all that matters. We don’t care what you had to do to get here. As long as you are here with us again.”

“The Saints don’t punish actions done to survive.” Her mother agreed. “You don’t need to ask them or us for forgiveness. Forgiveness is earned, Inej, and you have been through more than enough to deserve it. We know you. We know you have a good heart. We love who you are now because it brought you back to us.”

“You will always be our esfir.” Her father held his daughter's trembling hands.

Those words were like the first bite of bread after a year long fast. Inej hadn’t realized how much she needed to hear them, or how much it would mean to hear them from her parents. Her father’s touch didn’t wipe away any of the blood on her hands nor did it take away the dark memories she would always carry. But it did make her feel hopeful for the future. For so long she feared that she could never return home; she feared her family would reject the woman she was sharpened into. Her parents didn’t look like they were ready to throw her out. In fact, they looked like they were ready to hold her tighter than ever.

“Wait a second,” Hanzi once again drew all the attention in the room back to him. “You said you were a spy and now a ship captain?”

Inej wiped a stray tear from her cheek. “Yes.”

“And that Ka-s...runs a business?”

“Yes, Hanzi.”

He looked suspiciously between Kaz and Inej. Then at the leather gloves and silver crow’s head of his cane. His jaw dropped. “Inej, you’re not saying what I think you’re saying, are you?”

She bit her lip, unsure of how to answer.

“He knows, doesn’t he?” Kaz’s gravelly voice was full of pride at being recognized.

“Don’t look so smug. I don’t think he recognized you until I said that I was a ship captain.”

“INEJ!”

She turned back to Hanzi. He was almost buzzing with excitement to hear her answer. “Are you who I think you are? Is he who I think he is?”

Her mother narrowed her eyes at her nephew.“Inej is whoever she wants to be. As for Ka-s, he’s Inej’s...”

Inej looked to Kaz for the answer. They had never felt the need to use a word to explain their relationship. Everyone on their tiny stretch of an island knew better than to question Dirtyhands or the Wraith. Their friends didn’t need an explanation. What she shared with Kaz went deeper than anything she could describe.

“What?”

“They want to know what you are to me.”

“Then tell them.”

“What do you want me to tell them?”

“What do you want to tell them?”

“That you’re the person I love most in this world.”

His smile was blinding. “I’m more than okay with that answer.”

“Kaz is my heart.”

Adja cooed, clutching her heart. Her mother looked approvingly at Kaz. Her father looked relieved by the answer. Hanzi still looked unsatisfied by it.

“Why are you all just staring at us? Let’s eat!” She mimicked her father’s earlier remark. The silence was once again filled with her family’s celebratory cheers.

“Thank you for coming with me. I couldn’t have done this without you.”

Kaz looked smug. “I love you.”

Inej smiled, looking around the circle of happiness brought together by a bond that went deeper than blood. “I love you, too.”

A/N Pt 2: Hi hello! If you happened to have read this before January 2, 2020 then you might remember that there used to be a long paragraph at the end of this fic where I acknowledged all of the cultures that I read about as inspiration to flesh out the Suli culture in this fic. Welp, because Tumblr enjoys to make life difficult, it actually decided to erase the entirety of this fic, leaving only the title. Why? I have no idea!!!! But that means I had to do everything and luckily I had all of the fic saved except for this second A/N bc I added it in right before uploading. While I’m incredibly annoyed by Tumblr glitch and am not able to fully write the original acknowledgment, I still want to give add a smaller version of the previous one.

All of cultures I drew from for this fic can be found listed here. The Suli language was a modified mixture of Hindi and Punjabi. The foods are mostly Romani in origin. The names are a mixture of Turkish, Hindi, Romani, and Slavic names. The clothing have all been specifically named. The head piece Inej wore was directly inspired by a South Asian maang tikka however out of respect for this real cultural practice, I changed the name/origin for the fic. Any parables/customs/religious beliefs explained in the fic are completely fictional that were either pulled directly from the SOC series or made up for this fic. Any connection/similarities to real cultural practices are completely coincidental unless I specifically said so. I believe that was everything important that I had in the original acknowledgment. I’m so sorry if anything was left out. If you do feel that I forgot to mention anything in this rewritten version, please let me know and I’ll do my best to fix it immediately! 

[drethanramslay]

Part 4: Fight or flight

Pairing: Aurora x MC (Iris Everette)

Word count: 3.2 K words

Part 1   Part 2    Part 3

Warning: Fluff and a little description of abuse

Taglist: @miyakokurono @agent-breakdance @trappedinfandoms @lilyofchoices @sekizincimektup (let me know if you want to be tagged)

Songs: Emergency by Jay Sean and Clean by Taylor Swift

It had been a week since their fight in the supply closet and Aurora was in a flux of emotions. On one hand, she wanted her baby girl back in her arms and kiss her till the end of time. But, on the other hand, she was just so fucking pissed.

Iris had not come home to the apartment for a week. She stayed, showered and ate at the hospital. Aurora kept true to her promise and gave Iris her space, but that didn't mean it hurt less. The seventh day after the fight, Aurora was distraught.

She had headed to Sienna's room that night and one look at her face and Sienna declared that it was the "eat ice cream till you are sick" time. They saw so many cliche rom-coms and crying which resulted in Elijah wheeling into their room to see if both of them were okay. "Oh my god... Rom-coms really?! They are shit."

"No Eli, they are the shit." Sienna corrected him.

"Get in or get out Eli." Aurora said as she sniffled.

"Geez okay I will join you two to see how can girls cry to such cliche storylines."

Nonetheless, the three of them started crying towards the ending of Titanic.

"Rose is such a dumbass.. Like how COULD YOU LET SUCH A NATIONAL TREASURE DIE?!" Elijah screamed at the TV.

"Yo...I think we broke him." Aurora said as Elijah continued to cry.

"Nah... He will be fine. But what about you?" Sienna asked as she turned towards Aurora.

"Everything sucks."

"Big mood." Elijah chimed in.

"It's just...it feels like I am in a waiting room." Aurora sighed. Sienna sent a questioning gaze towards Aurora.

"It's like... Iris continuously hints about her past. I like her so much....I really do but, she just won't let me cherish her completely. She won't let me in.. She has just put me in that space where I know more that the anybody else but less to know her completely. I know I shouldn't complain, but..... I hate seeing her in so much pain and I want to erase the sufferings. I was to kiss her troubles away. I want to tell her that I am all in, that I will be with her, through thick and thin... But, she still holds me at an arms distance." Aurora sighed, as the pain resurfaced.

"Aww honey...." Sienna reached and hugged her. Aurora shuddered and the need to cry just became so overwhelming.

"I have known Iris for a year and half and let me tell you, she has changed. She laughs more, jokes more and smiles more. She was a withered bud but when you came into her life, she bloomed into a beautiful rose. Iris... had never had many people she could be herself around or count on. I think her mother was the last person who she truly was the real version of Iris, but after that, nobody. So she grew thorns, so that nobody can hurt her again. She had accepted the fact that she was going to be a alone forever. But then, you came. You transformed her. It's a damn great accomplishment if you ask me." Sienna said.

Aurora blew a raspberry. "Trust me I know that. And I am proud of her for slowly opening up. She is self sufficient, independent and so so strong...but she doesn't need to carry that burden alone. I want to share everything. The happiness, the sadness, the beautiful and the ugly. She deserves so much more..."

"I know Aurora I know... I spoke to her a couple of days ago."

"What happened?" Aurora asked, hoping that she didn't sound too pussy whipped.

Stop lying to yourself... You ARE pussy whipped.

"She looks like she got hit by a train. She had dark circles large enough to carry groceries, she zones out sometimes and she is really, really paranoid. Like the other day, Bryce just went to close her eyes, so that he could surprise her. She fucking grabbed his hands and had him on his ass in a blink of an eye!!"

"What?!" Aurora was shocked. This was certainly a new development. She thought to herself.

"I am not joking. Luckily everything is fine but damn, Queen B has some nasty bruises on his wrist."

"Shit." Maybe, just maybe there was something else affecting her and the 'break' was just the cherry on top.

Fuck I am such a selfish bitch..

"Don't." Sienna said before Aurora threw herself into the pit of self loathing.

"Huh?"

"Don't feel guilty. Don't beat yourself. You need to understand that you are pushing her to be a better person, a better friend, a better partner. You are constantly challenging and calling her out. And I believe, that the kind of love you both have, it can survive any storm."

"Love?!" Aurora asked, her eyes as wide as saucers.

"Duh! Everybody can see it that the both of you are completely and utterly in love. Everybody, but the two of you."

"Do you think its true?" Aurora asked, trying to wrap her mind around this concept.

Sienna rolled her eyes before muttering, "Gods, for two smart people with their IQ's above 120, you guys are hella dense."

Aurora looked down at her hands, deep in thought. She was never familiar with the concept of this kind of love. Sure, she 'loved' her parents and family, but love another human being? That to romantically? Never.

She was of a scientific background and she always brushed aside the concept of love. Earlier if you would have asked her ‘what was love?’ she would have said that it was just a rush of oxytocin. Just a flux of chemicals. But now, if she were to close her eyes and think about it, forest green eyes stared right back at her.

"Holy shit." Aurora breathed out.

"God finally EEEEEEE!! One down, one more to go. Just know, I am rooting for the both of you." Sienna said as she squeezed her hand.

"Also can you like hurry up and make up? I might end up losing fifty dollars to Bryce." Elijah chimed in.

"This guys have been BETTING on when we make up?!" Aurora asked in disbelief.

"Eli, SHH!" Sienna smacked him, bullshiting back and forth. But Aurora didn't pay attention to that.

She was in love.

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Iris stepped to the back of the empty elevator and leaned against the wall, sighing. This week had been shit for her. Her girlfriend had called for a timeout, her asshole of a father was walking free on the streets, she had a panic attack, and she lost a patient.

She hated being so paranoid. She hated having to look over her shoulder every minute. She felt so guilty for hurting Bryce, and she profusely apologized by buying him his favourite tacos.

She shouldn't have to stay in such fear. Hadn't she suffered enough? Hadn't she lost enough already? Is her life nothing but a game for the man upstairs?

Being of a scientific bent of mind, the laws of her world were bound by logic and proof. She never really believed in the existence of God. But at moments of weakness, like now, she couldn't help but wonder who is responsible for fucking her life up.

The lift dinged, and she opened her eyes to see which floor it had opened on. But what she saw, made her eyes open wide.

Rory met her eyes and then looked down as she stepped into the lift. She pressed the button for the fourth floor where Iris was also heading.

"By the way, chief said that there is a storm incoming. He wanted everyone to be prepared incase of an emergency." Iris spoke up, cutting through the uncomfortable silence.

"Yeah...my aunt told me that. It also explains why they sent Dr. Ramsey and a couple of electricians to check on the backup generators."

Iris chuckled. "Yap. You should have seen the way he was grumbling and muttering quote unquote- 'God I hate that place...it gives me the heebie jeebies'."

"What?! No way!" She turned around to look at Iris, instantly regretting it. Iris looked like shit. Her eyes were bloodshot and she was so tired that she had to lean against the wall of the elevator for support. 

"If you don't believe it, I can ask Baz to send the video to you. Chief had a kick out of it."

Aurora giggled. "Okay, send it to me Adara."

Iris winced and Rory turned towards the elevator doors, the awkward silence settling in. It was slowly suffocating her. She thought that the deafening silence would continue indefinitely, but Aurora spoke up.

"I just...I miss you."

Iris looked up to see the back of Rory's head.

"I miss you too Rory..."

Aurora's heart soared and shattered at the same time. God she missed that nickname so much.

"Adara... Please. Just...please."

Iris shuddered. Just a simple plea, but it held so much meaning. She walked ahead and stood next to her. Aurora found herself leaning towards her, missing the warmth and comfort Iris gave her.

"Rory, I am so sorry... But I can't. It was never my intention to hurt you. You deserve someone strong and willing to be by your side... I am not that. My emotional burden will drown you."

"Adara, I will be the judge of that. If you just-"

"Baby, I care about you alot. And, I don't want you to get hurt... Just know that I am so damn lucky to have had you... for those seven months, I am so, so greatful." She proceeded to kiss Aurora's cheek, before exiting the lift.

Aurora was stunned. She reached to feel the place where Iris kissed her.

She couldn't help but wonder why Iris's words sounded like a final goodbye.

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Everything was okay. There weren't any accidents so far and the electricity was still running. Iris sat in the diagnostics room staring at the window, watching the rain drops pelt mercilessly on the glass window and the trees dancing to the tune of the gale.

She always found the rain soothing. It helped her escape. She could spend hours looking at the rain drops, racing each other to the bottom of the window. Her mom used to make hot chocolate for her on such rainy days. They would cuddle on the sofa, and have endless movie marathons. It's one of the happy memories she remembered from her past.

She always cherished those moments with her mom. Life at home may have been hell, but her mother's spirit did not once break. She was so strong and brave. She was kind and loved with all her heart. Iris always wondered if she would ever be half the woman her mom was or the fact that would her mother be proud of the way Iris turned out to be.

Guess we will never know.

Her pager beeped and she looked down to see what it said. 'Report to the nurses station on the fourth floor. Your lawyer is here.'

Huh, that's strange. Thomas said that he won't come till next week..

Shrugging off her doubts she started heading to the fourth floor. She walked down the long, empty hallway whistling. It was just a front but deep down, she had a feeling that she was being watched. She turned to look behind but there was no one following her.

You are just being paranoid Iris... 

But isn't it better to be safe than sorry?

She turned the corner and she collided with someone.

"Oh, I am so sorry-" Iris said as she backed a little and straightened her scrubs. She then looked up and she was completely frozen. She felt as if she was sucker punched in the gut. All the breath left her body.

He was here.

"Oh no its my- Oh." A cruel smile slowly etched into his face. He had aged, which was pretty obvious but prison made him look rugged with white hair peppering his balding head and his eyes looked more maniacal.

"Hello mija."

She had dreamt their encounter many times before. How she would punch the fuck out of his face, and break his left wrist, the way he used to break hers. She would beat him up so hard that he would end up in the emergency room. Those imaginations were so graphic, that she could taste the blood of that monster on the tip of her tongue.

But, at the end of the day it was only fantasy. Dreams are those tantalizing flames, which help keep the fire in us alive, while reality on the other hand, is a bucket of cold water, smothering those flames.

She just stood there in shock. It felt as if her head had been dunked into water. She saw his lips move and the people walking around them, but she couldn't hear a thing. Her breath was getting shorter and shorter. She felt weak. Pathetic. Just like the sixteen year old who lay there on the floor, awaiting her death.

No, no, no, I can't go into a panic attack right now.

"IRIS!!" Grayson shook her shoulders. "NO! Get the fuck away from me asshole!" Iris said as she tried to push him away. She felt like a bucket of maggots had been poured inside her shirt. She felt dirty, filthy and gross.

"Iris what has come over you sweetheart? You weren't like this before.." Grayson said, his face morphed into fake concern but she could see the anger and the bloodlust shining in his hazel eyes.

"Don't TOUCH ME!!" She exclaimed as she finally got him to take his grubby hands off her. And he had the audacity to act hurt. This bitch should get a fucking award for his acting.

"Hey, hey, hey." Ethan stepped between the father and daughter. "Sir, I will have to ask you to back away right this instance." Ethan said, in a voice so cold, that it could have withered a blooming flower.

Grayson held his"There is nothing going around here son. Just a father and daughter reconnecting after a decade. Ain't that mija?"

"Don't listen to him. He is a world class manipulator and a habitual liar. Get him the fuck out of here." Iris spat out, her voice poisonous.

Ethan turned to look at her, his eyes asking if this was the man who she had a restraining order against. Iris nodded subtly.

"I'm sorry sir, but you are causing a scene in a hospital, where people are sick and they need the quiet."

"No problem so- what's your name?"

Don't tell him, don't tell him, don't-

"Dr. Ethan Ramsey."

GODDAMMIT ETHAN. Just can't keep his fucking trap shut. She knew, that he would come for Ethan.

"Well Ethan, I don't mean to cause any problems. I am just here to take my girlie for a coffee.. have a chat." He smiled in a friendly way but, everybody knows that the term 'chat' means thrashing.

"I SAID NO. I don't want anything to do with you asswipe."

"How dare you-" Grayson's face twisted into a furious scowl. Iris just cowered behind Ethan.

"Sir, with all due respect, leave." Ethan said as two security guards started moving towards them.

"Alright, alright. There is no need to be so aggressive. I am nothing but a old man. What would I do? Beat up someone?" The last question directed towards Iris, his eyes gleaming. A chill went down her back, out of intense fear.

"I will meet you soon mija... And when we will.... we will have all the time in the world to catch up."

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Running.

Iris ran down the hallway, to a place where she could have some damn peace and quiet, which is kind of hard in a hospital crawling with patients, doctors and the grim reaper.

Her breath was getting frantic, and the need to breakdown was increasing with every step she took.

Get a hold of yourself Iris. It's just a little longer. You don't need to be a mess in front of him. You don't need him to have that power over you. Iris repeated that as a mantra as she half walked, half ran down the never-ending hallway, away from her haunting past.

She was just crossing the nurses' station where, Aurora stood, reading through her charts.

God, please don't notice me. I don't have it in me to face another heartbreak. Iris prayed.

A few nurses greeted her, and Iris nodded and smiled politely before her eyes landed on Aurora's cool, calculating ones. She quickly averted her eyes away, so that she would not betray the inner turmoil in her.

But, Aurora knew. Iris had that look in her eyes as if she would shatter like a porcelain vase. So, she shut her chart and followed the red head.

Iris had reached the lift, pressing the button continuosly, so that it could hurry the hell up. After what seemed like an eternity, it finally came and she stepped into the elevator. She pressed the button leading her to the basement.

There is a old on call room which is pretty faraway from the hospital's main rooms. So even if she broke things, screamed and howled, nobody would know.

She saw the doors closing and she let out a tired breath when Aurora nimbly slipped into the lift.

Can't I catch a fucking break?

"What happened, Iris? Seems like you saw a ghost. You look hella pale." Aurora asked as she leaned in the wall across Iris.

Iris grimaced. If only she knew that she was not very faraway from the truth.

"Nothing." She said as she looked down at the floor.

"I know it's not nothing, Adara." Aurora said quietly. Iris' eyes snapped up.

"Aurora please. Just let me be." Iris pleaded, looking up at the screen showing that she had just reached the second floor.

"Don't fucking lie to me.Something is going on, I can see it in your eyes." Aurora said as she stepped and stood before her.

She placed her hands on her cheeks, forcing her green eyes to meet with her dark brown ones. "Please tell me Adara. Please let me in. Please don't shut me out this time."

"Aurora....I don't want to hurt you. I am cursed. Don't waste tears on a dead woma-" She said as tears filled her eyes.

The lift shuddered to a stop. And it was dark for a moment before the emergency lights switched on. She turned towards Aurora, who was slowly realizing the situation they were stuck in.

The lift was stuck and so were the both of them. And this time, there was no escaping for Iris.

I had to type and retype this so many times because it just didn't feel perfect..

Anyways, the next chapter will be the finale and after that will be the epilogue. I am so excited ;)

like and reblog :)) let me know what you think