#adding those tags mostly for safety | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

twinsunstars · 5 months

Text

Follow the Stars - a Bad Batch epilogue fic

Hiiii! So I wrote this fast even though I need to do a lot of coursework, so I hope you enjoy this fic I whipped up (as a May the 4th treat) about what I think happened when Omega told her brothers she wants to join the Rebellion, me adding some little tiny things to the scene with Hunter and Omega at the end (though that scene was already so perfect), and some other touches I think you guys will love. I also felt like the others would be more okay with letting her go than Hunter, so I just wrote this quickly based on how I see things lol. Also, forgive me, I have no fashion sense.

Feel free to share with others, and i hope you enjoy! Let me know your thoughts, I'll be happy to hear them!

@magicandmundane you're going to enjoy this :D

read under cut here if you just want to read on here than AO3 (I appreciate all comments left anywhere :)

The sun was warm on Pabu. Another wonderful day for a stroll or a boat ride out on the waters. The island barely changed over time, staying safely away from the Empire’s hands and its residents living in harmony as the days went on.

Omega stretched her arms out. She looked in the mirror, expecting her morning hair out of the shower to be the usual frizzy blond locks needing a heavy brush, but it was actually somewhat neater for once. Omega gave herself a confident smile, tying up her layers into a ponytail and reaching for her red bandana. Hunter had given his old bandana to her as a gift after they had escaped Mount Tantiss all those years ago, and Omega felt like trying out some new hairstyles.

The battle at Mount Tantiss was so many years ago, and Omega still remembered every bit of the struggles she went through. They had won the battle, and everyone was safe and free to put aside their lives as soldiers, filling those days with warm sunshine, ice cones, and family time. Eva, Jax, Sami, and Baryn had been safely returned to their families after Rex managed to locate them. Omega missed them every day, praying for their safety as young Force-sensitives.

The Batch had settled themselves into a small home in the middle of the island Shep had offered them to take after it had been vacant for so long. Wrecker had taken the responsibility of decorating, and Echo had many debates with him about positioning certain objects so the home was kept neat and tidy. Omega’s room was the only place Wrecker wanted to do completely by himself, just as he had done when they had the Marauder. Wrecker had put up some orange string lights similar to the ones he had put up before, and he was lucky to find them in stock at a nearby shop run by a local. There were also some light curtains and soft bedding that Wrecker had put his heart into finding and setting up delicately so that his little sister would be comfortable.

Omega had recently returned to Pabu a few days back after a small scavenging mission with Phee, retrieving a golden heirloom that was adorned with feathers and crystals from the depths of a cave Phee had described as “spiritual and archaic”. They had found the heirloom near a mystic waterfall that Phee said was rumored to grant wishes and protect those who come by if an individual sprinkled some of its water over themselves. Intrigued, Omega had done it herself, relishing the pure scent of the beautiful waterfall. The heirloom was safely delivered to a family whose ancestors had created the heirloom to bring peace and divinity to their village.

Omega adored all the adventures she would have with Phee whenever she came by and still listened closely to her stories like she was still fourteen and mesmerized by the way Phee would narrate all of those adventures she had before meeting Omega. Often, her brothers would tag along mostly because Omega wanted them to go with and she wanted Crosshair to have his first treasure-hunting adventure. Even Lyana got her chance to attend her aunt on one of those adventures once she got a bit older and Shep allowed Lyana to experience worlds outside of her home. Lately, the squad who always called themselves the Bad Batch preferred staying close to home and staying safe rather than risking themselves in places they barely knew things about.

The Empire was heard to be growing stronger each day, though there were many rebels out there who did everything they could to slow down their work and fight to bring their tyrannical reign down. Echo was one of those rebels, continuing to fight with Rex and the other clones who had survived the rescue from Tantiss, all willing to keep up the rebellion they had started. Omega heard a lot of stories about the Rebellion from Echo, and she would sometimes hear things from Phee whenever she witnessed rebel activity anywhere she went. Omega had left fighting and being a soldier behind after Tantiss to allow her life to have a childhood and live peacefully with her family, but something about the Rebellion’s cause and determination pulled her heart closer to the fight that called her name in her dreams.

“Omega, you ready yet? The ship’s landing soon!”

Omega heard Wrecker’s call, adjusting her jacket and taking a quick look at the red and black skull patch she had added onto her jacket; the symbol of her squad. Echo was coming to visit today, and he was bringing Emerie along. Phee had also said she was coming back to Pabu today after visiting an old friend, and it was perfect timing. Omega had planned a dinner with all of her family, and it was her chance to reveal what she had been wanting to tell her family for so long.

“Coming!” Omega hurried out of her room, smiling wide at her younger brothers who were waiting in the family room. Her brothers gave her a bright smile, their wrinkles starting to become more and more visible.

With their accelerated aging, Omega’s brothers were growing day by day, the gray streaks visible in Hunter’s hair and beard. His soft hair had grown a bit longer, which he had tied some into a small ponytail while leaving the rest down. Crosshair started to grow a beard that matched the gray hair he was already born with, allowing his hair to grow around his burn scar, and there were more wrinkles near his eyes. Echo had given Crosshair the robotic hand he had obtained during the battle at Tantiss, keeping his scomp link arm, which was still really beneficial. Wrecker had grown a full beard that was growing more gray to balance out the dark brown, and he had grown a liking to it. They all didn’t quite have much of a strong soldier’s figure anymore, but they were still able to show their strength.

The three of them were dressed in casual clothes native to Pabu, as Hunter wore a blue and red sweater with a brown bandana that Omega made for him with a blue cardigan and brown pants. Crosshair wore a dark gray knitted sweater with black pants, and Wrecker wore a red shirt with dark orange baggy pants. All comfortable out of the armor they had long placed in the treasure hall on Pabu to cherish the memories.

“Come on, let’s go meet Echo,” Hunter said. Omega nodded, following her brothers outside to head to the landing zone.

Pabu’s local market was cheery as always with everyone heading in to grab a savory snack or an ice cone as a treat at this time of day. Mox, Stak, and Deke were helping out the citizens who were out fishing, catching a few themselves and making deliveries to the shops. They had grown to the standard height and appearance of a regular clone, styling their hair the way they liked it and relaxing in their comfortable clothes. The young triplets never got to experience the life of a soldier like they had dreamed since their birth, but they enjoyed the childhood the boys were able to create for themselves on the island.

Batcher pranced around the market on her morning stroll, saying hello to many locals and getting pets and scratches underneath her woven collar. The lady she had befriended during her first time on the island had grown older and sat in a chair near a stall selling handmade bracelets, as Batcher enjoyed spending time with her. Batcher was growing older in hound years, yet her playful nature kept her lively.

She noticed Omega walking by with her brothers, barking and running up to her family. Omega smiled at Batcher, walking alongside Hunter to the landing zone. Batcher settled herself near Crosshair, displaying her soft smile at the man she helped heal and take care of ever since she had run off Wayland.

The family was just in time as a large cargo ship headed its way towards the landing zone, slowly setting the engines low and touching the ground. The ship opened up its entrance, revealing Echo and Emerie. Echo visibly looked like an elder, heavy wrinkles forming on his face and his stubble beard growing in, likely not having enough time to shave lately. He was dressed in some new armor the clones had helped him put together and painted in a design of red, white, black, and blue–representing both his family in the 501st and the Bad Batch.

Omega hadn’t seen Emerie in a long while, and she was glad her sister could carve out some time to visit. Emerie hadn’t aged much in physical looks, but she had cut her brown locks into a shoulder length hairstyle, letting it fly freely. She had gotten rid of those rose-tinted glasses she was given when she worked at Tantiss, comfortable in a maroon shirt with a blue jean jacket and dark teal pants, dark brown heeled boots adding a small inch to her tall height. Emerie had a small thin necklace that was made out of silver and adorned with orange crystals; a gift from Senator Chuchi.

She walked alongside Echo off the ship’s ramp, smiling wide at her sister. Omega ran over to the two, embracing them in a group hug. Batcher barked and ran over, excited to see Echo again. “I’m so happy you’re safe,” Omega said to them.

Echo chuckled. “I’m still in one piece. The Empire can’t dull my strength.”

Echo continued to fight against the Empire with Rex and the other clones as the Rebellion continued to grow in numbers, and had helped many clones settle down and find their place in the galaxy. The clones may have been growing older, but the fire they had as soldiers kept them willing to fight for the right cause. Some had remained on Pabu, their choice being to live a peaceful life away from the fight and the torture. They had settled themselves down in homes, and two had gotten themselves married to locals on Pabu they had connected with.

“You’re still growing old,” Crosshair piped up with a grin. Echo got a look at his brothers, and they definitely did not look like the same young energetic clones he had gotten to meet after being rescued from Skako Minor. They all smiled at their older brother. Wrecker came in for a big hug, causing Echo to nearly suffocate. Emerie chuckled.

“It’s good to see you again, sister,” Emerie said, giving Omega a personal hug. Omega gave her a soft smile.

“You changed your hair again. I like it,” Omega said. Emerie returned the smile and brushed a hand on Omega’s cheek. Her sister had grown so beautiful and so strong.

Luckily, Phee’s ship had just touched down as well. Phee stepped out of her ship, which remained painted in the colors Tech had painted his armor in when she had first met him years ago. Phee honored his sacrifice that way, remembering the man she grew so affectionate of. Tech loved sharing so much with her; Phee just wished there was more time for her to share more of herself with him.

Phee headed over to the family, Omega giving her a hug. Gray streaks ran through Phee’s dark brown curls, adding more color to the gold she already had intertwined in her hair. Phee may have been growing older, but her beauty never faded away.

“You’re getting bigger every time I come back. You’re as tall as me now,” Phee said.

“She’s still our little girl,” Hunter added. Omega gave him a smile. She wasn’t all that little now, but she knew Hunter would always see her that way.

Phee let out a laugh. “Of course she is. Now, what’s this about a special dinner you’re going to set up?”

Omega gasped. “You are all going to love it. Lyana’s helping me set up right now and cook. It’s a gift from me to all of you.”

“We’ll help too!” Wrecker exclaimed, Batcher adding in a happy bark. Omega nodded, the family heading over to the upper levels of Pabu to help prepare the food and set the table together.

Omega walked with Emerie and Phee, happy that she would be getting a chance to spend quality time with the people she loved one more time before leaving.

“Have you told them yet?” Phee whispered to Omega.

Omega sighed. “No. But I plan to soon. At dinner.” Emerie, Phee, and Lyana were the only people she had told about what she planned to do. They were supportive of her choice, and now Omega just hoped her brothers would be as well. Especially Hunter.

“I have a feeling this will not go well.” Emerie continued to walk with her hands behind her back, a habit she had developed growing up. She had listened to Omega tell her about her wish a while back during a comm call together. Emerie was worried about her and didn’t know if she was ready to join a fight that big, but Omega was free to make her own choices. Emerie made her own choice to join Senator Chuchi and the others to fight against the Empire and share all she learned to know during her time there, and if Omega wanted to do the same, she would honor it.

Omega had a feeling it wasn’t going to go well either. But she had to give it a try. She lived the rest of her childhood on Pabu. It was time for her to set off on her own adventure.

***

As Pabu’s sun began to grow golden in color, the dinner table had been set. Lyana helped Omega set down a few salad and rice bowls, setting a plate of bread rolls in the center. The dinner table was surrounded by many delicacies popular on Pabu, commonly the fish and seaweed rolls most people loved.

Everyone settled themselves down at the dinner table, ready to eat. Echo had changed out of his armor, sticking to a gold sweater with some blue pants. Shep and Lyana joined in, and Batcher napped next to Crosshair, her belly full after asking for food samples while everyone was cooking.

“First, a moment to present a blessing,” Shep began. He reached his hand out to his daughter and Phee, who sat next to him. Everyone held their hands together.

“We thank everyone for this wonderful food, and for Omega to help put together a beautiful dinner. May her life be filled with safety and happiness, and may we all prosper for the future to come.”

Everyone nodded, beginning to eat. Omega stuffed a fish and seaweed roll into her mouth, chewing to try and avoid talking. She wanted to express her feelings to her brothers, but now that the opportunity has arrived, she was too nervous to open her mouth. Emerie noticed her nervousness, shooting her sister a look of comfort. Phee and Lyana silently ate, waiting for Omega to make her move.

Omega swallowed, looking at Emerie. Her eyes told Emerie that she was nervous and felt like she couldn’t do this. Emerie gave her a smile, believing in her. Everything would be okay.

“Omega, you’ve been quiet.” Crosshair broke the silence, making Omega’s shoulder’s jump. Crosshair had noticed his sister was acting uneasy ever since they were helping to cook, and he had a strong feeling she was hiding something. “Is there something wrong?”

Omega swallowed, setting her fork down. She took a strong inhale in, slowly nodding a yes.

Hunter, sitting next to Omega, placed a hand on her shoulder softly. “What is it, Omega? We’ll listen. We can help you.”

I hope you can. Omega exhaled, deciding to stand up. “I have an announcement to make.”

She looked at her entire family, observing their soft faces, waiting for their sister to speak. Omega hoped everything would be okay and they would understand, just like Lyana told her.

“I have decided to leave Pabu and join the Rebellion. I want to help fight them and end the Empire’s tyranny. I’m leaving tomorrow.”

The table was silent. Omega waited for a response before saying anything else. Her heart was racing, and she felt like she would start to cry at any moment. Phee, Lyana, and Emerie looked around the table, observing the Batch’s faces.

Echo was the first one to ignite a smile, and then Wrecker. “Kid, that’s great! You’ll bring the Empire down!” Wrecker exclaimed, proud of his sister.

Omega smiled wide. “So you’re okay with it? I can go and fight? I’ve already got in with Senator Organa and the coordinates from him, he’ll be so happy to hear-”

“No.”

The sharp tone diverted everyone’s eyes to Hunter. Omega blinked. “What?”

Hunter looked up at his young sister with strict eyes. “You’re not going to go fight in the Rebellion. You need to stay here.”

Omega wanted to cry. She had a feeling Hunter wasn’t going to accept this easily. “Hunter, please. I’ve lived my life away from the fight ever since we won. The Empire is growing stronger, and the Rebellion needs more people for their cause. I need to help them-”

“And what if the Empire captures you again?” Hunter stood up this time, ready to debate. “The Empire could hurt you again and keep you hidden. Take your blood, torture you until you can’t breathe.” Hunter wanted to cry. He couldn’t imagine Omega getting hurt out there with him nowhere near her to help her heal. “There’s so many deaths out there in the Rebellion, what if you can’t escape?”

“I can handle that!” Omega felt like screaming. ““Hunter, I’ve fought the Empire so many times when I was young. You all know how I managed to survive Tantiss mostly on my own. I’ve been trained my whole life for something like this. You all taught me how to fight and how to be a soldier, and this is my chance to use those skills to help the galaxy be safe.”

Hunter was about to add another rebuttal, but Echo took his spotlight. “Hunter, she’s right. Omega can’t just keep sitting around on the beach and relax. She wants to do more, and her chances are out there.”

Hunter looked sternly at Echo. “Echo, don’t encourage this.” He blinked. “Did you get the Rebellion into her head? Is this why she’s bringing it up and wants to leave?”

“And what if I did?” Echo snapped, making Batcher wake up. “Omega has always had that rebellious heart inside of her, and you know how strong she is. Hell, she’s even taught me a few tricks. She can do this.”

“Echo-”

“Echo’s right, Hunter,” Crosshair piped in. “As much as I don’t want her to go either, she’s had a lot of training, and we’ve protected her since we won that battle. You all have more than me. This is her chance to make a change in the galaxy. You know you won’t be able to stop her.”

“Crosshair, you know what they did to you. What if they try anything on Omega? I won’t allow anything to happen to a girl so young.”

“Hunter, I’m not a baby!” Omega exclaimed. “I’m as tall as Emerie, I know how to take care of myself. I’m not afraid of the Empire.”

Wrecker frowned, afraid to say a word to try and avoid Hunter yelling at him. But he never liked it when Omega and Hunter argued with each other. “Hunter,” he said softly. Hunter turned to him with an angry look, and Wrecker felt like shutting up. But he wanted to be supportive of Omega.

“Omega is a strong girl. We should give her a chance to live a life outside of Pabu. We had our life, it’s her turn. She wants to follow the stars.”

“Wrecker-”

“Hunter, breathe,” Shep advised. He didn’t want to say more, afraid that Hunter could get more angry. Wrecker breathed, thankful Shep stopped Hunter before he could yell at him.

“You’re not going anywhere. You’ll stay here, safe and sound.”

After saying that, Hunter looked at Omega. Her lips trembled, tears welling up in her eyes. Hunter’s anger went cold as he looked at his little girl who was about to cry.

“You had told me that I could be whatever I wanted. I’m choosing to become a Rebellion fighter, becoming a soldier just like you all were. Why won’t you support that?”

Before Hunter could say anything, Omega stormed off, tears streaming down her face. Hunter’s shoulder slumped. He knew he had just made a mistake. But how was he going to be able to fix it in a way that would make sure everything would be okay?

Lyana and Emerie went after Omega to make sure she was okay. The rest of the table remained silent, refusing to eat more. Batcher whined, worried about Omega. Crosshair gave her a pet and a glare at Hunter. The brothers stood up, leaving the table to head back into their home.

Phee stood up to leave to check on Omega. “You’ve got some thinking and making up to do, Hunter.”

Hunter exhaled. He sat down in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose and wanting to let some tears out. Shep stood up, walking over to Hunter and putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Kids grow up fast. It was hard for me to let Lyana out of Pabu with Phee, but she’s old enough to go out and explore on her own. You helped Omega grow up and taught her everything she needs to know. You know she can do this.”

Hunter knows. He didn’t know what to do about it though. He didn’t want his little girl to leave.

***

Morning dawned with the small moonyos awake and squealing as they ran around the land. Batcher ran after them, while Crosshair tried to get her to stay with him on her daily morning walk.

Omega breathed in, looking out her window at the sky. She loved flying up there, and she would miss it.

She got her bag ready, placing it over her shoulder. Omega had a lot to do. She stepped out of her room, meeting Hunter standing in front of her. He held a plate filled with sliced fruit.

“How did you sleep?”

Omega tried to take the frown off her face, but she just couldn’t. She gave Hunter a small smile and a nod. “Good. I need to go meet Lyana in the treasure hall. I’ll be back.”

“How about some fruit? There’s some sliced meiloorun,” Hunter offered the plate, knowing it was one of her favorites.

Omega looked at the plate of fruit. She stepped forward, taking the entire plate off his hands for her way. “Thanks.” She quickly hurried out. Hunter wanted her to sit down and eat, but she had already left.

Hunter knew she was really upset, and he felt sorry for being really strict with her. Ever since they had picked her up off Kamino, she was always willing to help save and protect those who needed it most. She never stopped fighting for the clones who became subject to the Empire’s experiments, playing a vital role in bringing that to an end. Omega was his little fighter, and she wanted to fight more.

Hunter just didn’t know if he was ready to allow her to go and fight. He had to fix this.

***

Omega walked to the treasure hall with the fruit plate in hand and nibbled on a slice of meiloorun, taking in the scenery around her in the market. She loved the aromas swirling in the air, remembering the times she would buy a lot of the sweet sticky treats that were covered in maple syrup and served on a stick. She loved them so much, Crosshair had to stop her once so her teeth wouldn’t rot and her stomach wouldn’t hurt. Omega was happy her childhood could become full of things natural-born kids were happy to have: ice cones, sweet treats, games, and a good family.

Omega walked nearby the central tree on Pabu, looking up at its blooming leaves. She circled around the tree, kneeling down in front of it.

After Tantiss, the Batch had set up a small memorial for Tech. The memorial was made out of flowers Omega had chosen with her brothers and Phee, and a few of Tech’s favorite items that were salvaged (though burnt) from the Marauder’s explosion, all arranged in a circle. Omega often came by the memorial to talk to her brother.

“Hi, Tech. Today’s a big day. I’m going to go join the Rebellion and become one of their pilots. You taught me to fly, and now I can put what you taught me to use. I hope you’re doing okay. Phee always told me you’re flying up in the sky, watching over us every day. I hope you’ll be up in the sky with me.”

Omega placed a slice of fruit down and took out some flowers from her bag, setting them down on the memorial. She stood up, saluting her brother and giving him a smile. Omega knew Tech was always with her, and she was ready to take him with.

Omega reached the treasure hall, entering to meet with Phee, Emerie, and Lyana. “I brought fruit.”

They were ready to say goodbye before Omega headed on her way tonight. Last night, the three had consoled Omega, and Omega had decided that she was going to leave on her own terms. The three knew they couldn’t stop Omega if they tried; it was Omega’s new dream she wanted to chase.

Phee, Emerie, and Lyana gave Omega warm smiles. Lyana approached Omega and wrapped her in a hug. Letting go, she took out a small handmade bracelet from her pocket. “To remember me by. We’ll match too.” Lyana raised her hand, a bracelet on her wristing looking identical to the one she gave Omega.

Omega smiled, putting the bracelet on her left wrist. “It’s perfect.” She looked over at Phee and Emerie, who were standing near the most valuable treasures to Omega which remained in this hall. She approached the two treasures, stroking one of Lula’s ears. She stroked the ears of the tooka doll that was gifted to her by Wrecker when she was young, missing the times she had slept with Lula snuggled next to her. Tech’s goggles were settled next to Lula, now held gently in Omega’s hand. Omega chose to have his goggles remain in the treasure hall to keep it safe.

“You said you planned on taking them along. You sure you don’t want them to remain safe in here?” Emerie asked.

Omega turned around to Emerie. “Tech taught me to fly, and I’m going to become a pilot because of him. I want him to be with me all the time. And Lula would love to accompany me on the missions.”

“Brown Eyes would be so proud of you,” Phee said.

“He would let you go.” Omega heard Crosshair’s voice, just as he, Wrecker, and Echo walked into the room. Gonky was with them, honking noises happily.

Wrecker rubbed his arm. “We… we’re not ready to let you go either. But it’s your choice. And we’ll talk to Hunter.”

“We’ll make him understand. You deserve a life on your own, and the Rebellion would love to have you as a fighter,” Echo said.

Crosshair walked up to Omega. She had grown so much, and yet he tried to harm her when they first met, all because of that stupid Empire. He had left all that behind, staying loyal to his sister. “Give them hell, Omega. They’ll never see it coming.”

Omega smiled, unable to hold back tears. Except for Echo, her brothers were long retired from the fight, but they chose to be supportive of their sister’s choice to keep fighting, just like they had always done. She leaped into Crosshair’s open arms, hugging her little brother close. Wrecker joined in, letting Echo join the hug as well.

“Thank you.” Omega broke away from the hug, wiping tears away. “Let Hunter know how much I love him, and I will miss him.” Omega wished she could tell him in person. She wanted to try and reason with him, but she didn’t want to argue with him again like yesterday.

Her brothers smiled at her, proud of the girl they raised. Gonky honked, talking to Omega.

“You want to come with?” she asked Gonky. Gonky honked more. The droid had some fight left in them, and they wanted to be with Omega all the way, offering their help.

Omega smiled. “Of course you can come.”

“Try to comm us when you’re there, so we know you’re safe,” Crosshair said. Omega remembered how much he loved to check on her, making sure she was safe and protected in every corner. Omega nodded.

“Comm us anytime you can, we’ll be waiting to hear all about it,” Wrecker added.

“If you ever need me, I’ll be a call away,” said Echo.

“As will I. I always want to be connected with you,” Emerie smiled.

“You’ll be one of the strongest pilots of them all. Let me know if you find any ancient treasures, or if you want to hear any more stories,” Phee said.

“Promise to stay in touch?” Lyana asked.

Omega smiled warmly at her family. “I will. I promise.”

***

Hunter sat on a rock, listening to the waves while the breeze ran through his hair. He heard Batcher’s barks coming closer, smiling softly. She was always around whenever someone needed help or comfort.

Batcher sat down next to Hunter, rubbing her head next to his arm. Hunter petted her, looking out at the water. He remembered all the times he had spent with Omega here. Swimming in the water, playing catch with Batcher on the beach, going out for a morning walk together. All the beloved memories with his young sister. She was technically older than them, but to Hunter, she was always their kid. His kid.

“I’ve got to let her go, don’t I?”

Batcher looked up at Hunter, letting out a small whine.

“I know, it hurts me as much as it makes you sad. She’s growing up, and Omega’s right. We taught her how to fight. Now it’s time for her to become whatever she wants to be.”

Hunter sighed, looking over at Batcher. “Come on girl, let’s go give our young one a farewell.”

***

Pabu’s silent nights were beautiful as always, the lights glowing around the water. Omega could hear the birds’ chirps grow more distant as she packed in her room. Everyone was getting ready for bed, while Omega got ready to leave. She fixed up her hair and made sure she had everything packed in her bag, the rest of her items ready on her ship. Omega was going to miss her family and friends so much, but it was just like Tech said; Change was something that everyone needed to learn to accept.

Omega stopped by her brothers’ room, the door half-open. She slowly opened the door without trying to make a loud creak, wanting to say a silent goodbye as he slept.

Omega had decided to write a note for Hunter, telling him her choice and that she loves him. She knew her brothers would let him understand. While Hunter slept, Omega carefully left the note next to the lamp.

Omega breathed, ready to leave her home. She headed down to the caves and looked up once more at the glimmering island, the home she grew up in. Omega cherished all the memories made here, and she would carry them with her whenever she went.

Heading into the cave to reach her ship, Omega listened to the water dropping nearby. She reached the part of the cave where her ship was landed, kneeling down and turning on the lantern. Omega heard a bark, looking up to see Batcher and Hunter. Omega smiled.

Of course he would be here. He’s always near me whenever I need him. Omega stood up, heading over to her brother.

“Thought you could just sneak off? Time hasn't dulled all my senses.” Hunter had sensed Omega near him while she had put down the note. He had waited until she had fully left to sit up, reading the note. He knew he was going to try and go against her word, and his brothers already let her go. Batcher wanted to say goodbye too in person, so he had taken her along.

Omega laughed, sitting down next to Hunter. “This shouldn’t be a surprise. The Rebellion needs pilots now more than ever.”

Oh, Hunter knew. She had already left them once before for the sake of their protection. He knew Omega was willing to leave on her own terms to help protect others.

Omega sighed. She had to stand up to Hunter. “I made my choice, Hunter. I want to do more.”

Hunter swallowed. “And we want to keep you safe.”

Protecting Omega had become their life ever since they had took her off Kamino and saved her from the Empire’s hands. Omega knew how much he wanted to protect her. “You have. But I'm not a kid anymore. You don't have to worry about me.”

She had grown up, but Omega was always a kid in Hunter’s eyes. He could never get over how tall she got all of a sudden one day and how she couldn’t fit the clothes he had gotten for her anymore. Omega had gotten so big for Hunter way too fast, it felt like it was just last year that he held a small girl in his arms every night.

“You’re our kid, Omega. You always will be.”

Omega placed a hand on Hunter’s shoulder. “Hunter, you've all fought enough. This? It's my fight. I'm ready.”

Omega let go of his shoulder, standing up to head to her ship. Hunter wanted to reach his hand out. He didn’t want her to go at all. He wanted her to keep staying by his side. He wanted the little girl who would bury herself into his arms to remain with him every night, letting him sing her a lullaby to sleep.

Hunter sighed. “Yeah, I know you are. But I'm not.”

Omega turned to Hunter with a comforting smile. She gave Hunter a tight hug, holding her younger brother close. She let go, already missing his warm touch. She told him to keep an eye on her other brothers and Batcher.

Hunter nodded. He placed a kiss on her forehead, giving her a smile. “Off you go.”

Omega smiled. She hurried off to her ship, Gonky waiting for her to come onboard. She knelt down to Batcher, giving her some pets.

“Omega.” She stepped onto her ship, stopping when she heard Hunter.

“If you ever need us, we'll be there.”

Omega nodded, heading into her ship. She set her bag next to Lula, who sat in a chair, ready for the adventure. Omega powered up her ship, adjusting Tech’s goggles in front of her. She had decided to place them in front of her so she knew Tech would always be alongside her whenever she flew. The ship was ready to go, and so was she. Her adventures in the stars were calling her name. She looked over at Hunter, who gave her a salute. Omega returned it, ready to go.

The coordinates to the rebel base were in, and Omega lifted off, rising up to the night sky. Hunter watched her go with a proud smile on his face.

Batcher whined next to him, already missing her best friend. Hunter gave her a pet. “It’s all right girl. She’ll be fine.” Hunter switched the lantern off, looking back as Omega’s ship rose up to space. Batcher watched before following Hunter to head back home.

Hunter felt like crying, watching his little kid go. He knew she was strong, and she would be okay. She’ll be a strong fighter and a strong Rebel.

This was her calling. Omega was ready to follow the stars, as they would guide her to her destiny.

28 notes · View notes

lunar-rcp · 6 months

Note

could you do something with Roy being cared for by Poli. I don’t mind it being anything, I just want my favorite character to be comforted—Kidshowsarecool

Putting out your flames of emotions

# . . ! tags; fluff/angst (mostly on roy's part, though)

Having achieved his dream of being a recuse member, he already had his life set in stone. Saving others from unfortunate incidents.

However, the firetruck never could save himself at times. (Which was, mostly.)

And today was one of those days.

Roy sighed wearily, his gaze saddening as he closed the electrical panel after inspecting it thoroughly at Mr.Builders place. Today was quite the exhausting day, even the overworking fire truck could admit that to himself. It was one of those days where he just wanted to quit and imagine himself laying onto his bed, happy to even hear his own thoughts.

But, he couldn't. He had to please others around him, that was the goal he set for himself.

“Roy!” Mr.Builder yelled with glee as he approached the firetruck, quickly making Roy snap out of his carousel of thoughts.

“O-Oh! Erm, ah-..” Roy fiddled with his fingers, desperately trying to compose himself as quickly as possible. He couldn't just show off this state to anyone. Even his own rescue team. The firetruck despised it when anyone would worry about him. He was fine.

Well, he thought he was fine.

“..Yes?” Which was what he managed to mutter out, cringing at his own answer. His eyebrows furrowing, pondering as to why he just didn't feel his best.

“Seems like you've finished ya work here? Well, that's great! Oh, and also–” Mr.Builder suddenly tilted his head, taking notice of how dull the firetrucks expression was. “Hey, Roy? What's with the long face? Is your day not going swell?..” Mr.Builder spoke with a concerned tone. In response, Roy shook his hands frantically.

“Oh, nono! Don't worry, don't worry! I'm just fine!”

Roy gulped. He just lied. But, he didn't want to worry anyone about his day.

His day contained of bratty children screaming at the firetruck, all because he was concerned for their safety. He also had to set out many fires, having to face families look at their now charred houses.

..But he couldn't tell Mr.Builder that.

“Ya sure? Well, can't be helped! I'm just a big worrywart, aha.” Mr.Builder scratched his head, chuckling. “As I was sayin’, could ya check out some fallen signs in the mountains? Me and my team jus’ don't have the time with the new construction.”

He didn't want to. But, what could he say? He'd rather toss his emotions into a bottle and ship it overseas than to face a disappointed citizen's face. “Oh, of course Mr.Builder. I'll get on to it.” Roy spoke with a quiet soft sigh, saying his goodbyes and transforming into his vehicle form to drive off to the mountains.

. . .

The police car was patrolling the road to the mountains, humming softly along with the whimsical tunes of birds chirping.

Poli stopped his humming when he spotted quite the familiar red silhouette from the distance, it wouldn't take a genius to find out who that red paint belonged to.

“Roy! Hey, Roy!”

Roy stopped in his tracks. He knew Poli too well; and so did Poli. It would take a matter of seconds for the police car to find out that something wasn't right.

‘Pretend you didn't see him, pretend you didn't see him..’ Roy talked to himself in a whispered tone, swiftly turning around and driving the other way. To which leaving the police car puzzled.

“Huh? What's going on?” Poli raised an eyebrow, this wasn't like Roy. Concerned, Poli started to drive towards Roy's direction.

“Roy! C'mon, what's up?” Ack. That concerned tone left a bitter taste in Roy's mouth and heart. The guilt started to settle in, and so were emotions that started to bubble.

“..D-Don't..-” Roy swallowed his stutters, his voice obviously cracking. This only added to Poli's concerns. “Don't worry, I'm, u-uh.. fine.” The guilt at last has come up to the surface as his eyes were pricked with bubbles of tears. Roy refused to face Poli, not in this way. He needed to escape the situation. “U-Uhm, gotta go. See you.” The firetruck started to drive away, his tears already spilling on his frame.

“..Roy? Wait, no! Roy!” Before Roy could react, Poli sped right in front of him. No surprise for the fastest car in Broomstown. “Roy, you're acting off. Please tell me wha-” Poli stopped his rambles of questions to a halt when he saw tears bubbling in the beady eyes of the firetruck. “Oh, Roy..” Poli sighed sadly, driving closer next to his best friend, touching his tire against his.

And that was the final arrow to break the bottle of emotions as Roy started to sob. The guilt completely ate his composure away. “I'm- I..! S-So..” Roy choked on his words, only to be interrupted by his sobs.

“Shh,” Poli shushed the firetruck, softly rubbing against his tire. “It will be okay. Just spill it all out, friend.”

. . .

After Roy finally had calmed down from this aching moment, the two had transformed and were sitting on the hills of Galaxy hill, admiring the view while Roy had finally talked out his problems.

“Ah, so that's what happened.” Poli sighed with a hint of frustration. Those damn kids.. He'll be sure to speak to their parents after this ordeal. “Thank you for telling me, Roy. But you could have told me sooner.”

“I'm sorry..” Roy looked down to his hands. “I just, don't want to worry anyone. Everyone always has this image of me being the strongest, and I just have to keep to that expected image of theirs.”

“Not true, I don't.”

“What?” Roy was rather surprised by this answer, his mouth slightly open.

“Sure, you're the strongest and can lift an entire boulder with ease. But that doesn't mean you always have to throw your feelings way like nothing. I care about you, Roy. And so does the entire team as well. We all care about you.” Poli smiled at him, a glint of appreciation in his eyes. Roy has always protected the town with such care.

And now it was his turn to take care of Roy.

Roy's mouth was about to open to say something, but he was met by an embrace from the police car.

“P-Poli, I..” A tear formed in his eye. But this was a happy one. “Thank you, Poli.” Roy hugged him back tightly, finally finding his usual warm smile plastered on his face.

“Roy, I'll be there for you, whenever and wherever.

Word count: 1090 !

➽──────────────❥

wow, this was an emotional one shot. thank you for the ask !

#robocar poli #roy #poli #angst #fluff #hurt/comfort #oneshot #kidshow #rcp

30 notes · View notes

thoughtfullyrainynightmare · 1 month

Text

Summary: Adlai and Celer finish their discussion, while something brews in the Old Ruins of Micah. If one can state that they are… actually in the Old Ruins. Meanwhile Solara is still in Clover, while she feels something that puts her even more on edge than what she already is

A/N: Hiya! I have taken another couple of months, because I don't want to miss anything crucial in canon. But. Here I am, delivering a little something and continuing down the same direction as planned. Hope you like it Length: ~4.0k Warnings: I continue on the same themes as previously, so I trust that if you've gotten this far, you'll handle where we are Tag list: @loosesodamarble @succulentsunrise

Chapter 8: Harp and tears

[“Where are you going?”] It was a fair question, asked after the meeting, in the room, with crystals that couldn’t be named by less knowledgeable men.

Celer, the oldest, and the only child of the House of Curiosi, gave Adlai, the one that was living and breathing Thea’s safety, a look.

But the look was about as informative as the silence, the empty hallway around them. Which is why Ad shook their head, and pushed his chin outwards a little as he did so, as if to try and fish out the information; hear the silence better.

However, the frown on Ad’s face, spoke of how little he understood the look.

To which Celer let out a soundless sigh. Not even a whisper. A flow of air. And placed their hands between them and Ad, palm side up for him to place his hands on top of theirs.

And he did.

Ler tapped. And tapped.

Two taps to the tip of their index finger.

[“Okay...”] Ad sighed. [“The ruins need tending, and I’ll... stay here.]”

Ler nodded. Just nodded. And let their palms lower down, so that the hands of the two people no longer met.

Someone needed to be there. In those ruins, to listen to the blasted ringing of the damned silver bells, the sound of which was nearly deafening to one’s ears.

Almost, but not quite.

After all, they had lived their entire life, listening to the bells.

It was only during the most recent years that the sound had grown so loud. So, soul shatteringly loud that it almost made one’s ears bleed. If one could hear them to begin with, that was.

A blessing and a curse, wrapped in one. Because while they could hear it, they couldn’t do anything about it.

Their hands could not touch the strings or the ropes. Even if their ears could hear the sound.

A lacking state of being that was exactly like that of mortals.

Limited.

But... the way the toll rang with silence, spoke to him. Told a tale of something brewing. Something... being about to happen.

They just didn’t know what it was, which is why they had to go there, to the old Ruins of Micah, and see for themselves.

----

I wonder.... I wonder what that is... behind the surface. It’s blurry and too unclear to tell, but... there was something behind sister. There is something else in the room as well. But I just... don’t remember what it was. What it is. If it was there to begin with.

It must’ve.

Because the researchers of Old Micah made the room to be what it was.

This place was just an accident. An added bonus.

Or, well, an added bonus to me.

Lady Indomita says that it’s an anomaly. Something that shouldn’t be, and yet... here it is.

Not that she finds this place to be meaningful. Because it’s not as if... I can do anything else than observe here. Observe the way the threads, strings and ropes wind in their eternal dance. Mostly alone, and sometimes with... whatever that being is... but it’s nice to have company.

She placed her hand close to the surface of the mirror, the gate and the passage. Just let it hover there, without touching, and made the mirror vibrate, sent rippled course over it from the anticipation of someone going through after such a long time.

A fraction of an eternity.

I wonder... I wonder why this relic was created in the first place... and how the people of Micah came to have it....

She tipped her ring finger through the surface without effort. Which sent a wave of warmth over her. As if a whisper. A greeting. A friendly hello after being found.

The complete opposite of how she had felt, while entering the space in which she now existed.

This sensation... felt like home.

Like a home she wasn’t sure she could remember. Like one that she didn’t know how to feel about. And which, almost made her forget all the reasons why she had decided to walk away from the world, and shut herself here instead.

Because here there was no judgement. There was no wrong she could do.

After all, she was just an observer. Not a doer. Nothing was in her hands.

And yet, there she was. Centuries since then. By the door, the passage, and the mirror, about to go back into the world, which must’ve changed so very much during her absence.

But strangely enough, she wasn’t afraid.

A little apprehensive sure, but not quite afraid. Because this time she was... more curious about the world than she could remember ever feeling. After having sat on her thoughts and feelings for years. Thinking about what was her place in existence. What was her reason to be. And what should she do with it. What should she do with her life?

She didn’t have an answer.

But perhaps... perhaps it lied behind the surface of the liquid glass of the mirror.

‘Do or die’... isn’t that what they say? That there are different kinds of deaths and... how... if I stay, I know that nothing will change. Not for myself, nor for anyone else either. And... thought the threads would continue to twist and turn... maybe... maybe I could do something?

But there is no guarantee... that it’d be good. I could do damage. I could commit unspeakable horrors by not knowing what I’m doing.

Or then I could grant blessings that would fall second to only those granted by the heavens above. Heavens that must be empty...

I could do nothing at all, or then I could.... try to do something.

Which... I suppose is the question. Would I rather try to do good, or do nothing at all, and know, for certainty, that the good will not happen. Unless by some miracle.

Though miracles can be done by people too... depending on one’s definition of a miracle, of course, but... if I wish something to happen, I should at least try to do so.

Right?

...Right?

She took a deep breath, and stepped forward.

A single step. An embrace of warmth. A passing whisper that she couldn’t quite make out. After which she stood in a room.

And in that room, she saw with clarity the shape, the item, that had been in the background for as long as she could remember; and for as long as she could remember wondering what it was.

In the room, lied a harp.

----

Solara’s eyes scanned the area around.

The flames and the roar of Mereoleona.

Up in the sky, a distance away, there was another being with wings. Who seemed intent on attacking the Silvas. Against whom Noelle was battling.

Water against steel.

Until there was a flash of another kind of grey. Much more fluid and lighter in colour. Which assumed the shape of a man. Most likely Nozel.

The screams and the yells, coupled with the sounds of explosions ringing in the air, despite the battles won amidst the ongoing war.

I hope... Please... let them win. I’ll take any victory that would be given to u-

She winced. Leaned forward and curled around herself from the sudden spike of pain.

Did you two just kick mom again? She asked while trying to wobble closer to a nearby wall, so that she might lean onto it for support. Please... this is not the time. I know that you’re scared. I know. I know... she closed her eyes and pressed her back against the bricks, while feeling none of the cold due to the armour that was still around her. I know, she repeated within the depths of her mind. I am too... for your sake. And your father’s sake.

She glanced up, towards the scene where fire raged. Where the smell of burning flesh still lingered.

Where so many brave and valiant lives had been taken.

Salamander is still there... the largest form of those that were left. Which means that he must be too... she reasoned to herself while feeling that the world, or at least hers, was still somewhat in tact.

A feeling, a sensation, that she couldn’t quite explain. It just didn’t make any sense. Not while on such a field of battle. Amidst all the chaos and the screams. She shouldn’t have felt the kind of whisper, a lingering sliver of hope.

It must’ve been insanity.

But... in a place that is filled with despair, isn’t the nearly non-existent trace of hope the very thing that keeps people going? Because they simply have to believe that something good will follow. That something... if not them, then those they care about, will survive and prevail. Is that not the reason to keep going?

The feeling? No matter how unlikely and unreasonable? Because sometimes one has to defy reason, and have fate instead. That things will turn for the better.

Or then it was the feeling, the quiet reassurance that she felt in her very soul, told to her by the strings of fate that were still golden instead of stained with carmine. That the steady pulse, as if a squeeze in her hand, and a whisper in her heart, was still alive and radiant, rather than smeared by the very thing that flowed through their veins, keeping them alive.

He had to be alive.

He had to.

Simply had to.

She didn’t care if it might’ve been just a fable in which she wanted to believe due to the feeling. Because of the things she could see.

It just had to be true.

It’ll be alright, little ones... it’ll be-

“Ugh-“ she placed her hand onto her stomach and winced again.

Please don’t... oh no... little ones... please tell me that you are kicking me and not... her eyes opened and gaze flickered around without seeing anything around her. It was as if her eyes were trying to follow ideas bouncing around in her head, but did so with a faint sense of terror. Please don’t tell me that you didn’t choose this moment... she whispered within the confines of her own mind. Practically prayed to whatever non-existent being that might be able to hear her. When we said that we can’t wait to meet you, we meant it. We, from the bottom of our hearts, meant it, but.... Darlings... this is not the time.

She took a deep breath. As deep as she could, and tried to calm herself down. Let the burning pain subside, even if with one second at a time.

This is not... the time... Okay... Okay... calm down. Calm down... You know about this. Yes. You know this... If-, *if* this is it, then the contractions will take a long while. There are women who are admitted into the hospital, and spend the next day or two in this stage. So, it’s not like the kids are coming out right now. Yeah. So, there’s... well there is a lot of things to worry about, and staying here while in heavy labour is ... not ideal. By any means. It’s less than less ideal. But I have time to get ... somewhere else.

She took steady breaths while leaning against the wall, and kept her eyes closed for as long of a moment as she dared while trying to shut out her mana output. Make herself seem as difficult to notice as possible.

So... calm down. Calm down... you have time. So... for now, just focus on making yourself seem like as little of a threat as possible. No grand source of mana. No threat. Or at least as small of a threat as possible. And just... figure out where to go. The portal here I can’t use. The same applies to the one in the dungeon. Or... I could, but opening it would take a long, long while. Though I do have time.

She hesitated for a moment.

I hope... I should, have time.

Her eyes opened, and her head turned towards the direction where she knew home, the Vermillion estate to be.

Home is... too obvious. And will probably be burned down, if this goes on for long enough. The same applies to the castle, and the Crimson Lion Kings’ headquarters. So, while I would be able to make myself seem as harmless as possible, and to possess as little mana as possible, those places themselves can be targets.

Which meant that going to the places where she felt most at home, the most comfortable, was not an option.

But also... she glanced back towards the wall, where she knew her husband to be. Should I just... leave? Without... but how would I tell him? I can’t exactly reach out to him and... he did... throw away his-, no. That doesn’t mean anything. She brought her hand onto the charm around her neck; the other half of which she knew to be around his neck. He was... terrified.

She thought back to the moment. Just a few minutes prior. Tens of minutes. But minutes that had seemed far longer than that.

He was... scared...

The expression he had held. The angry. Horrified. Pale expression on his face. And the way he had grabbed onto the ring that had allowed for her to come to him, and tossed it onto the cobble stones under her feet.

He... was... He sent us away from... all this. Which is why he... it was fear. I must’ve been. Not anger at... me... Or maybe me too, but I just... she looked towards the direction again, but only briefly; as if she no longer had the strength to look for any longer.

So if I just disappear, after he has come to know that I *am* here, then he’d... I don’t know what he’d do... Because the reason why he stayed was because he... He is a dutiful man and he wanted to give us time to... If the world is going to end because of this, then at least he could make it more... difficult for the enemy and... I just...

She squeezed her eyes shut, and tried to fight off the tears that kept collecting behind her eyes. The grief and the fear that took on the form of burning hot tears; almost as if corroding, that seemed intent on rolling down her cheeks and falling onto the same cobble stones of the Kingdom of Clover, that had played a tune, as if a melody, with the piece of precious metal of Fuegoleon’s wedding band when it had been cast away.

The ocean of pain and grief that twisted and turned within her.

I just can’t... What am I supposed to do? Because... if I do tell him? When? Would it place him in more danger? When would it place me and our children in... not as much more danger? Or do I just go, and let him believe that we’ve disappeared. In which case he’d presume that we’ve died and then he’d... He would...

Her lips quivered, and a whimper escaped from her throat. Because the thought that was at the edge of her consciousness, she didn’t dare let in. She didn’t want to think it. Didn’t want to even consider it.

While knowing that she had to, if she was going to make this decision.

I don’t know what he’d do... she thought as the sob, the muffled cry that she had tried to swallow, broke through the air.

She hunched forward, almost as if it had been her body in pain, rather than her soul. But in reality, it was both. Because she could feel the pain in her body too. And not just in the way she was biting down her molars to the point where, had she managed to give it a conscious thought, she would have feared to be breaking her own teeth.

But a thought came through. A faint whisper.

My CCE... I still have it and he... He must have his as well. So... if he only looks at it.... That would be enough, right? It would be enough? So, if I go, and try to open the portal in the dungeon, to go back to Thea, then... he’d know...

She wasn’t quite delusional enough to trust that he’d feel the lingering sense of hope, which she felt, of him being alive through it all. Because her state of deliria was aided by the fact that she could see Salamander, if nothing else. That she could get glimpses, passing whispers of his mana around. Which confirmed her bias; the wish to believe in him being alive.

There was another spike of pain through her, which made her curl around herself, even if only a little.

That ... should be enough... Yes... it should be enough and then he wouldn’t... need to worry, as much, I think, because... even if ... If the worst would happen, the depths of that forgotten dungeon, previously a research facility, isn’t the most sensible place to look for. For anyone. At least an individual and... while our children are royalty, and royalty of this country, they’re not... there is no reason to pursue them to the extent.

She had to believe in the thought. In the idea that it made sense. That leaving royalty of a country one was taking over, alive, was okay. Because it wasn’t just Clover being an intended target of being overthrown.

It was the world.

So now I... I need to think of our children. And he’d...

She swallowed while straightening her back.

We promised to each other. To always put our children first.

The bitter taste on her tongue still lingered.

We promised. And... if I’m going to... keep a promise then I need to... This would be it, right? If nothing else, and if I can manage to leave then... I should...

She tried to reason with herself while swallowing again. But still the bitter taste of the thoughts refused to go down. And she had a feeling that it wouldn’t be becoming any easier any time soon. Rather, she thought it would become even more nauseating.

Right?

She asked herself.

Right...? I should try to... leave... right?

----

I should check on Lara... just in case... Adlai thought while walking out of the Curiosi estate. I know that she needs time and space to grieve, while... preparing herself for labour. Though the due date isn’t for quite some time now. Not that they didn’t say that the kids couldn’t be born prematurely. Especially because it’s twins. But still... I like to think that she can... focus on one thing at a time, rather than having to go into labour during the same day as her husband is supposedly killed.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and walked with a slouched posture. Because... while he felt it necessary to go see his friend, he didn’t know how on earth he could do so while holding his head up high.

I know that she’s... upset that we’re not helping them, but... it’s their king. The leader of their military. Against their own country. It’s nothing short of a civil war. As absurd as it might seem. Because it’s... from my understanding, essentially one man against an army. He grimaced while setting off into the air, and towards the Equinox estate. Though he can always recruit mercenaries. Which isn’t... against the law. Technically speaking. But since the perpetrator is still, the enemy of the state, is the leader of said estate, or at least one of them, we have no right to intervene as a foreign country.

He had had to remind himself of the fact time and time again. Because... while he was an official, nobility, and a head of security, or would be in some years, he was also a friend and a man. Which also meant that he wasn’t heartless.

And... sending one or two... if those individuals so wished, wouldn’t really make a difference. If anything, it’d be one or two losses from our strengths, which, should the war eventually escalate here. If the king is successful in Clover and begins invading other countries that is. Should the war then come here, we’d need all man power we can get.

His eyes stayed down, as he tried to reason with himself.

In many ways, it’s the same situation as it was before, with the devils. Only that devils don’t know, or care, about the borders between countries. While people, more often than not, do. So... in this instance, laying low and caring for our own, makes sense. Not interfering with the internal matters of another state, makes sense. And he... always has a choice to become a refugee...

There was a bitter taste to the thought. Not because he would have, particularly, minded about Fuegoleon coming to stay in Thea permanently, but because the status in itself was, to anyone, a sorrowful one.

He is a good man and... He could do good here too. But... he doesn’t want to leave, and I get that. He doesn’t want to turn his back to his people, which I respect.

His chin lifted, even if only slightly, as his destination came into sight.

She picked a good one, the thought was bitter. Even more so than the one before. It just... seems that it wasn’t meant to be. At least for the long run.

He set down, and began walking into the building.

I just... what do I even say...? ‘How are you?’ Well obviously she’s doing bad because of all of this. ‘Would she like to talk?’ Probably not, because how does one even begin talking about something like this? ‘Do you want to go for a walk?’ While nearing the due date? Short walks, sure, but a longer one no. Unless mandatory, but... where would she need to go now? And I don’t think she’d even want to. For more reasons than that.

He was let in, and asked if he could go see her. Which he was allowed to do. Only that her whereabouts weren’t known. Just that she had last been seen heading out.

To which he thanked, and sighed.

I don’t like doing this... he thought to himself, while whipping out his CCE. But as long as she has her CCE with her, which most of the time she does, like everyone else, I can track her.

His fingers tapped onto the screen with hesitation, despite him having the best intentions in mind.

I just... don’t think she should be alone too much. Not at the moment...

He let the device run its search, but in the end, the result that showed on the screen, made Ad frown.

Out of reach... Does that... Is it turned off? Or is she under ground? Maybe at the castle...? He turned to look towards the direction of the castle, the white marble towers of which still reached towards the skies. Just as he could remember them always having been.

I could... run the more advanced search... he thought. I do need to write a report about it though, but... I think it’s alright... considering the situation... he pondered, knowing fully well that this search would reach down to the lower levels of the castle as well; into places that were off limits for most of the time. Not the highest grade of device search, but close to it. And the highest grade that he could personally conduct.

Alone at least.

So, he chose the other option, and began waiting.

And he waited. And waited. And waited...

Can’t this bloody countdown go any faster? He slightly cursed in his mind as the numbers flashed on the screen, little by little getting closer to completion.

And as they did, another frown settled onto his face.

One that made cold chills run down his spine, because... from what he knew, all portals had been shut down today. No one was to go in, or out. And he hadn’t gotten an alert of any unlawful, unexpected travels from, or to, Thea.

But still, the device in his hand, was adamant of the location.

Solara was in Clover Kingdom.

#black clover fanfiction #the vows we made #embers of sun and flame #fuegoleon x solara #fuelara #oc x canon

8 notes · View notes

thefriendlyferretwriter · 11 months

Text

A new side of you: Waltz of emotions

Pairing: Eugene 'Flash' Thompson x reader

Summary: Surprised, again and again.

Warning: 13k words, Tension, tension, tension, angst, a bit of fluff, OCs, don't know what else to warn you about.

A/N: I feel like this is standard by now but sorry again for being such a slow writer, I hope the fic is enough to be forgiven for my usual tardiness. Might have edited but I'm not a native speaker so get ready for plenty of mistakes, enjoy!

Tags: (Don't hesitate to tell me if you want to be added or removed, and thank you again for your feebacks ❤️) @loxerclu8 @wheelerzluv @ray-of-sunrise @m00nkn1ghts

People's view of the costume is accurate. The fabric is thin and flexible but unfortunately, it is quite a cold way to fight crimes during the chilly nights of New York.

"That was awesome! I wonder if it'll end up on the internet?"

"I doubt it. If it does end up there it'll be out of frame and shaky. The police were quite insistent when they were shoving people to safety," I say feeling the breeze as I swing around at full speed.

Landing with a huff I realize I'm out of breath, "Ned." I pant, "Remind me to get a custom binder, this one is killing me."

"I told you! You can't just buy any binder from the internet. It's like corsets, of course they are uncomfortable if they are not tailored for you!"

Your vendetta against Hollywood has reached another level," I say taking another deep breath.

With a leap I swing from the American Museum of Natural History and land on a school's rooftop.

A buzz makes me pause and crouch to check my phone and see a second call coming in from May.

"I got to go May is on the other line."

"Okay, 'night."

"'Night."

Swiping on my phone I wait for the inevitable.

"Where are you?!"

I try to defuse the damage as I look around, "I am at the park close to the flat," I draw out slowly.

"…Which park?"

…

"Do not tell me you're close to Central Park which is on the other side of the city."

"Okay, I won't say it."

"Damnit! you know I don't want you farther than Long Island at night!"

"I know, I know!" I whine, "But there was this guy with a huge Scorpion armor and he was doing mass destruction! The police couldn't do it alone they needed help!" I protest.

"Before being Spiderman you're my niece and my niece will obey the very few rules I put in place for her safety."

"Don't you think the fact that I can knock out people 3 times my size should allow me a bit of indulgence on those rules?"

"No young lady I read a ton of books on this and I know how this ends."

"How?" I ask curiously.

"Mostly teen pregnancy."

"Wow! Okay let's not be dramatic now, shall we?"

"And juvie," May continues her list.

"May I fight crimes, I don't commit it."

"Listen we have a system and it works, I don't get sarcastic with my boss and you don't go farther than Long Island past 11 PM."

"In retrospect, I think we should've thought harder on those rules."

"Too late, the system works and it's flawless. Now swing your ass back home before Spiderman gets grounded."

"Yes ma'am."

"Love you," she says smugly.

The line dies and I breathe out the annoyance I feel to then breathe in the fresh evening air.

Tearing off my mask I try to crack my neck and let it hang down to massage and release the night's tension when my eyes catch a familiar sigh.

Flash?

He sits on a bench with his phone in hand looking perplexed.

It's been a week since we last saw each other, or even talked. I didn't want to bother him and I have the feeling it's the same for him.

I look down at my wrist and fumble with the different settings before I find and activate the voice modificator.

Swinging down, I drop on the cemented ground and accidentally startle him as he jumps and stumbles to the floor.

"Oh shit, sorry I didn't mean to scare you," I say genuinely with my voice coming out deeper thanks to the device.

Stumbling around to step back up, Flash looks at Spiderman with wide eyes and his jaw on the floor.

A torrent of curses comes out of his mouth along with an excited laugh of disbelief.

"I can't believe it, it's you!" he says and motions to me up and down.

"Oh yeah, it's me!" I say rethinking my decision to offer guidance disguised as Spiderman in front of Flash Thompson.

"Oh my god I was having such a bad night and now I'm talking to Spiderman!"

"Yeah, that's awesome! Listen, I saw you from up there and you looked troubled and honestly a bit underdressed," I point to his light shirt.

"Oh yeah," he says more calmly looking down at his outfit, "I just needed to take a walk to think about-"

He hesitates.

"No that's not important."

"No way, tell me, that's why I came down here," I say sitting on the bench inviting him to join me.

It's not the first time that Spiderman has a sit-down with someone in distress; words being as useful as a handful of punches.

He sighs and sits down, "There's this um-Charity thing and my mom told me I had to bring a date and I told her I would but let's say it's easier said than done."

"Why's that? Having trouble finding a date?" I tease.

"No," he chuckles, "No actually I already know who I want to invite, but I don't know if she would say yes, and even then I don't really know where we stand. Inviting her could compromise everything," he says sliding his hands down his face with a pained sigh.

Is it me?

Who am I kidding? It's not because we kissed once that I'm his only date choice.

"Alright, so you have an idea. Why not ask her?"

"Because she could say no and I really do not want to have the conversation that would follow after that."

"What conversation?"

"You know the conversation!" he shouts full of frustration as he stands up from the bench, "The one a girl gives you when she's not interested in you. The one that goes 'It's not you, it's me' or the 'We're just friends' except in this case I'm not even sure we're friends to begin with!" he finishes his rant pacing left and right.

"That seems complicated," is the only thing I can say after a few moments of tense silence.

"Yeah and also what kind of date would be a charity event?"

"A date?" I choke out.

"I just-I've always been good at reading people, I know whether they hate me or they tolerate me. But recently it's been hard to read her."

I listen silently nodding my head from time to time.

"Before, she just rolled her eyes or would just snap back at me but now she listens to me and she worries about me and I just-I like being around her. I just worry it is all just a front and she's simply gonna drop me or tell me we're not actually friends and she just had pity on me and took me for some sort of charity case."

He finishes sitting back down his head in his hands.

"It's my fault. I shouldn't have kissed her." he groans.

I'm thankful for the mask covering my flushed face.

So it is about me.

It couldn't be anyone else. Flash Thompson is a lot of things. Sometimes an idiot, an asshole, even a jerk at times but what everyone always seems to agree on is that Flash Thompson is no player.

"You could always invite her as a friend," I loudly blur out after an awkward pause.

Flash frowns.

"You ask her to be your date and you precise it's as friends," I precise my thought.

"I guess I could try but what if she says no?"

"Well, best case scenario she says yes and you do have a friend. Or worst case scenario, she does pity you and says yes allowing you to hang out with her and convince her to see you as more than that."

He stays silent staring out into the void before snatching his phone out of his pocket.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm calling her right now before I chicken out."

Oh shit!

"Wow! Hey there how about we think about it before we make any rash decision," I say standing up from the bench in a hurry.

"What do you mean? you just told me to ask her."

"Listen," I panic and rack my brain for any last-second plan, "Here's what I propose. You walk back home and think about what you're gonna say to her on the way there, and then you call her once you get there."

He pauses, "Yeah okay, that makes sense."

A buzz startles me and reminds me of my curfew.

Trying to stay calm I hurriedly try to bid my goodbyes.

"O-Okay well, I got to go. Hope it works out for you!" I say carefully stepping backward, "As for me I'm expected somewhere so I'm gonna head there!"

"Oh yeah for sure. That's crazy man, I've always wanted to meet you, and now that it's the case you've just helped me!"

He looks back down at his phone's contact and slowly takes a few steps back nodding to me as a goodbye.

"You know what they say. I'm just your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, emotionally and physically!" I shout jogging back.

When I'm sure he's far enough, I leap into the air and swing away.

"Wait! Can we take a picture-?!" his demand fades as I shoot my next web.

Answering the phone I reassure May I'm on my way and get a few more calls from Flash that I cannot answer.

The last swing sends me to my bedroom window with a thud as I slide the glass panel up and throw my phone in first before climbing inside in a hurry as my cell buzzes again.

"Is that you?!"

"Yeah, I'm home!" I say sliding my mask off before trying to unzip my suit as I stomp around attempting to slip out of the gear.

Jumping on one foot I try to snatch the blue and red material off my feet and trip falling on the cool wooded floor.

"What was that?"

May's panicked tone and the incessant buzz coming from my phone is overwhelming.

Out of breath and my head still on the floor, I raise my hand and blindly pat around my covers before they brush against the device.

I sit myself up with a grunt and bring the phone to my ear.

"Hi!" I say enthusiast and breathless.

"Hi," he answers back abruptly.

"Everything okay?" I ask dipping my elbow amongst my blanket and burying my hand in my hair to ground it.

"Yeah!" he says back quickly with a lighter tone, "Sorry I just thought I would end up leaving a voicemail and now I just don't remember what it is that I wanted to say," he awkwardly confesses.

"Oh yeah sorry about that I was taking a shower," I skillfully lie.

"You often run out of breath after a shower?"

"No! it's just, I left my phone in my room and I heard it in the shower and started panicking the third time it rang I thought something horrible happened," I spew out.

I'm getting really good at this.

"Oh crap, my bad I didn't think it would-" he sighs, "Of course you would think that, I shouldn't have called at this hour I'm sorry I didn't think."

"No! Really it's nothing. What did you call about?"

Silence on the other line. I let it run until I start thinking he must've hung up and asks if he's still there.

"Yeah um, okay so here I go. There's this charity event that happens like every year and it's kind of badly seen to go alone."

My heart speeds up and hammers against my ribcage. It feels like my blood skyrockets through my body leaving an ice-cold feeling behind that gives me chills. This feeling gets stuck in my throat making me believe I'm struggling to breathe.

"And you'd like me to be your plus one?" I attempt to finish the sentence for him.

"Not like a date or anything like that! More like as…friends?" he ends his sentence with hesitation.

Leave the blood impression right now it feels like I was punched in the guts as the air escapes my lungs in a swift.

"Friends?" I repeat meekly to make sure he is comfortable with the term.

"Yeah if you're up to it?" he asks anxiously in return.

I feel frozen for a moment before my eyes are drawn to my wardrobe.

"Yeah of course. I'd love to go with you," I say putting my phone on speaker before laying it down on my bed.

Standing up with a grunt and newfound confidence, I skip to my closet and push stuff back and forth.

"So what type of event is it exactly?"

"Well, it's a charity but it's a charity on the Upper East Side so…there's going to be a lot of snobby people," he says with an awkward chuckle, avoiding talking about our apparent new friendship.

"So," I draw out, "Dressed up."

"Yup," he confirms.

I sigh pushing a few hangers back, "Well I don't think they'd be much impressed with me," I chuckle embarrassed, "When is the event exactly? Maybe I could go grab something that won't cause a public humiliation," I chuckle throwing yet another hanger back with a huge cling.

"That's where you hate me," he says with a pained voice.

Frowning I look at my phone still lying on my bed.

"The event is tomorrow."

My eyes bulge. I don't feel angry, I'm more surprised than anything else.

"Oh, so that really was a last-minute decision to invite me," I try to say light-heartedly.

'Actually, I already know who I want to invite.'

"It wasn't," he replies softly.

I'm getting better at making him open up. A fact that makes me smile, but I realize that I can't push my luck at the risk of going too far and having him close back up in a blink.

Trying to brush off his confession I decide to joke.

"You know Flash, when people invite you to events they tell you days beforehand," I laugh, "Now I don't even have anything worth wearing to your fancy charity!"

"I'm sorry."

"No I'm not mad it's just-I don't want to walk in with a summer dress on," I chuckle trying to reassure him, "And it takes more than a few hours of shopping to find a dress that looks expensive but is not."

"You don't own a black dress?" he asks confused.

"No."

"Not to generalize but I'm ready to bet every girl owns at least one plain black dress."

"I mean I do but it doesn't fit me anymore," I say putting the black dress at least three times too small against my much-grown self.

After a few moments of silence, I start thinking the invitation is gonna be retracted.

"I might have a solution."

"What is it?"

"Can't tell you."

"And why is that?" I frown trying to conceal my offense with a teasing tone.

"Can't tell you either."

"I'm not liking this."

The other line stays silent for a moment.

"Does that mean you don't want to come anymore?"

"No, that's not what I said," I clear up.

"Good, I'll take care of it, and thank you again. Would you like me to pick you up? Tomorrow I mean."

"Oh no, thank you but I'm sure I can find my way around."

"Okay," I wouldn't bet on it but I think I hear the hint of a smile in his words.

"Hum, when does it start? When do I have to arrive exactly?"

"Oh well you know, there is no designated time but people generally arrive later and leave earlier so no pressure."

"Okay so let's say around 9 PM? How does that sound?"

"Awesome."

"Cool," I smile.

I look around my room sheepishly waiting for a goodbye or any other signs he would like to continue the conversation.

Walking to my bed I spin around and let my ankle bump into my bed's rail letting myself fall back on my covers.

"Cool," he repeats.

"Cool," I reiterate chuckling.

"Thanks again, really."

"It's no big deal I'm sure I'm gonna have fun anyways," I say with a smile.

"Well you know it's a charity event so people are gonna do a LOT of talking."

"Why are you making it sound bad," I chuckle.

"I wouldn't say bad, I'd say boring," he says nonchalantly.

"I think I can handle boring for a night."

"I'll take you on that one," he says almost as a challenge.

My door creaks open and May's frown makes my smile drop.

"Hum I'm sorry but I have to go, see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see you tomorrow."

"Bye."

When the line goes silent I awkwardly sit up waiting for a scolding or a rant or anything else.

"So?" she asks with her brows raised.

I know she's waiting for an explanation but the news is too important, "I might've been invited to an event tomorrow."

The warmth is too much and in the heat, I throw my cover to the side with the help of my feet to turn around and try to go back to sleep in my haze.

Having opened my blinds and window during the heated night to let in the fresh breeze, the sunlight shines through and highlights my cluttered mess of a bedroom.

The usual New York rumble is accompanied by a merry voice.

"Wakey wakey night owl!"

"May," I whine sleepily, "It's the last days of summer, can't you let me oversleep?"

"Nope because you have a package and I've been trying to guess what's in it for about twenty minutes now."

"Huh?" I say with a hoarse voice.

"Come on, stand up!"

"I don't remember buying anything," I try to reason.

"And I don't remember buying anything either so come on up, up!" she says jumping up and down.

Sliding off my bed a box is thrown onto it. A huge white rectangular box closed and flattered by a black bow wrapped around it like a Christmas present.

I groan.

"I know what it is."

"What?"

"I have nothing to wear for the charity and Flash proposed to help but I thought it would just be a quick drop off not…that," I say with a gesture to the box.

"How nice."

"I guess but I'm uncomfortable getting a dress from him. If it wasn't so last minute I would've bought one for myself but-"

"Didn't you say it was a fancy event?"

"Yeah?" I answer not getting her point.

"Rich people smell a fraud it's better if he's the one dressing you up for tonight."

"Dressing me," I bark a laugh, "Flash would not dress me, maybe his mom helped or-"

I'm cut off by the phone going off in the other room.

As May walks out to reach it I admire the simplicity yet classiness of the box. I smile as I fidget with the bow before tugging on it and letting it loose.

Half-listening to May's phone call I push off the ribbon and lift the lid.

"Holy fuck!"

I throw the lid back on top of the box the corner not fitting back properly and let it slide aside.

"I'll call you right back-what?! What happened?!" May says in a hurry with the phone still glued to her ear.

I face her with my back turned away from my bed where the dress is sitting, "I can't wear that."

"Can't wear what?" she asks walking to my bed and opening the box back.

"Oh wow."

"I know."

"This is gorgeous."

"I know, I can't wear that."

"Wait-why not?"

“It’s too much. It’s the kind of dress you wear to attract attention, not just to walk around at a charity event,” I spit out at full speed as May puts the phone back to her ear and asks the person who is on the other line and who has not bothered to hang up to come forward and open the front door which is not locked.

"I think you're overreacting a little bit. It's just a pretty dress."

Listening to her I gather up the courage to turn back around and have another look at the black glittery dress.

"It's too much! He told me it's an event full of snobby rich people and you know what's gonna happen if I wear this around snobby rich people?"

May straightens up and takes a posh accent, "What a promiscuous little lady you are," she scolds before laughing.

"I'm serious!" I whine taking the dress out of the box.

The dress's length reaches the ground and the long sleeves hang loose. As the front of the dress faces Aunt May, the back view horrifies me.

I choke on my gasp and swiftly turn the dress around.

At the view of the open back of the dress May's eyes match mine as they widen like sausages.

"Oh wow now that's promiscuous," she says with no accent or tease this time.

"What was he thinking?!"

"Nothing. I doubt Flash handpicked this dress himself," she speculates feeling the fabric of the dress.

Her observation is followed by the front door shutting and a voice calling out to May.

"We're in here Happy!"

With a frown, I watch as Happy Hogan appears at the threshold of my bedroom.

"What is he doing here?" I question as I point to him with the dress still in my hands.

"Your aunt said you're going out tonight and she didn't want to stay alone so I proposed to stay with her," he says all the while analyzing the dress up and down before pointing to it, "Where did you get that?"

"It's a gift," May explains.

"No! No no no no no, it's temporary, a temporary borrowed and very expensive looking dress."

"Not just looking," Happy informs me.

My body proves that it is in fact possible to get even more tense.

"What do you mean by that exactly?" I ask with a meek voice.

Seeing my distressed face Happy makes eye contact with May, gauging the situation.

"Well I mean," he draws out walking up to me and grabbing the dress raising it to examine the fabric, "It looks like the kind of dress Tony makes me pick up for Pepper so I figured-"

"Oh my god!" I shout throwing the dress back on my bed.

I walk to my nightstand and reach for my phone.

"What are you doing?" May ask.

"I'm canceling," I say hurriedly.

"What? No!" she protests.

Flash's number is already dialed and the phone is placed at my ear as I shoo both of them out of my room.

Hurrying May out I close the door as the fourth dial rings in my ear.

Somehow the sound of his voice allows me to breathe out.

"Hey, what is it?"

"What the fuck Flash!"

The warmth leaves his voice and worry takes its place, "What is it?"

"The dress!"

"What? what's wrong with it, you don't like it?"

"It's too much!" I exclaim.

"Oh crap, I'm sorry."

"What were you thinking?" I said feeling a little guilty knowing he couldn't have guessed that I wouldn't like the dress.

"Hey in my defense I didn't choose the dress."

"Then who did?!"

"Well I wasn't sure so I kinda asked Lea to choose," he hesitates to say.

My brain freezes and a headache is right around the corner, "Wait, isn't she supposed to be on her honeymoon?" I ask pinching my nose and scrunching my eyes closed.

"She was but she's a big part of the charity so she is flying back for tonight and is gonna finish her honeymoon here in New York."

"Oh and so you let her choose a dress for me not thinking that our way of dressing up might be way different?" I ask incredulously.

"You make it sound bad."

"It is Flash!" I shout hyperventilating, "She's a model and this type of dress is made for the runway, not charity, and not on me."

"Wait so the problem is that it doesn't fit?"

"No!" I groan falling back on my bed beside the same dress that is making me break down.

"I'm sorry but I'm having a hard time understanding the problem right now, do you hate the dress is that what it is?"

"No, I don't hate the dress," I say.

It's true I like the dress, it's a pretty dress.

"Have you tried it on?"

I pause and answer 'no' in a tone that says it should be obvious to him that I would never try on a brand-name dress.

"So what's the issue exactly? You don't dislike the dress and you haven't tried it on so you can't complain that it doesn't fit, so what's up?"

"It's not a normal dress," I explain as a matter of fact.

"A normal dress?" I can hear the tease in his tone.

"Yes, a normal dress." I reiterate.

"And what is a normal dress exactly?"

"A dress that doesn't look like it was made in a studio in a fancy part of Beverly Hills!"

"Okay, I understand, Lea has a particular style."

"And Lea knows how to walk around with people's eyes on her!" I shout convinced that he now understands my point of view, "I just-" I sigh, "I don't want to walk in there and have people looking at me and judging me, especially rich snobby people."

"Oh if that's what scares you I can reassure you right now and tell you that no one will pay you any attention."

"You haven't seen the dress," I say as a matter of fact.

"No, but I can tell you that standing beside me as my da-my plus one, everyone will obviously be too busy admiring me to be paying you any mind."

I snort and try to muffle the noise by cupping my mouth but the unflattering cackle reaches the other end of the phone.

I know he's reassured now that I laughed but it doesn't erase my worry.

I calm down and weigh my request before verbalizing it.

"Could you drive me to the event?" I decided to just come out with it hoping for the best.

"What happened to taking the bus?" He asks genuinely.

"Again, you haven't seen the dress and I'd rather not travel around Queens dressed to the nines. I just want to be safe, you know?"

I know that my safety isn't at risk but dressed like that, a judging stare would be as dreadful as a wandering hand.

I can't hear him but I'm certain he nods agreeing with me.

"Well, it would be an honor to be your knight in shining armor for the night knowing you're actually my savior," he jokes, "But sadly there isn't any carriage available so we will have to settle for my car, I hope that's alright."

"Oh what a shame, I expected nothing less than the fanciest vehicle," I chuckle.

"Sorry Cinderella but fairy godmother only managed to get the dress."

"And I still wonder how she managed to do that," I say turning on my side and feeling the fabric.

"That's a secret…Try the dress on and call me back to tell me how it fits. Or better yet text me, It's kind of crazy around here today."

It is only now that I realize there is noise around him, a lot of noise and that makes me gather that he must already be over there helping to set everything up and I'm here having a meltdown and calling him having a tantrum about a dress.

"I'm so sorry I didn't, I mean if I knew you were busy I would've-"

"No no, it's alright really-" He tries to chime in.

"No I mean you're probably busy, I can't believe I didn't think of that-" I ramble before he cuts me off.

"No really, you're a life-savor Parker. Those events are old-fashioned and you're like forced to have someone with you and I really didn't want to spend my entire night answering the same question over and over again-"

It's his turn to ramble and I find myself listening on liking the idea of him opening up to me.

It is not every day that I get to listen to Flash Thompson ramble, let alone to me.

"It's annoying when people crowd you and ask why you don't have a date with you and they end up dissecting what must be wrong with you to not have a girl on your arm."

"Sounds annoying."

"It is. Sometimes I manage to avoid that kind of event but for this one my family is in charge so," He finishes dragging his word.

"You are forced to participate."

He confirms and gets interrupted by another voice. I frown trying to listen and make up a bit of the conversation going on before he comes back to the line with a sigh.

"I'm sorry it's a bit crazy right now. My mom always goes nuts the day of these events," he says as I can hear Mme.Thompson shouting in the back.

"Okay, that's my cue. Try the dress on and text me okay?"

"Sure," I say with a smile.

"Bye," he says along with another sentence that I cannot decipher, presumably aimed at someone else before the line dies and I'm left lying on my bed retracing the conversation.

I look at the dress once more. The sparkles look more and more inviting instead of revolting and I stand back up fixing myself before I open the door to face both May and Happy.

Making awkward eye contact I see that they are half bent toward my door before they stand straight up and cough to ease the tension.

After a moment of silence where my gaze is enough judgment, I speak up and ask for help.

"Can you help me do my hair?"

Meddling with the final strand of my hair May stands back to admire her work as I add the final touch to my makeup applying the red lipstick with precision.

Closing the cap I stand up and have an overall look at myself as May squeals and hands me my jacket. She asks a few more questions when I head to the door and check if I have everything I need placed in the pouch she lent me for the night.

My brain barely has time to register the questions before I hum and give a half-assed answer as I put my jacket on and try to exit the apartment.

I turn around to hear her give me rule after rule for the night.

"Flash drives you to the event, you stay at this event," she points out referring to the birthday incident where the only reason I wasn't grounded was the fact that my exit saved me from a potential wound from the blowout of fireworks.

"You have your fun and you come home at 1 AM. Not 2, not 3, 1 AM, got it?"

I nod.

"And Flash drives you back, no one else, Flash."

"Yes," I say a bit exasperated.

"And you stay glued to him all night."

"Yes, Aunt May I promise! Can I go now he's waiting for me outside," I lie.

He's not waiting for me outside, as a matter of fact I haven't even sent him a message informing him I'm ready for him to pick me up.

"Okay be careful-And text me both when you arrive and when you're coming home."

I nod at her as I walk backward to the elevator and watch as she smiles before closing the apartment door. I huff loudly and turn around to look down to my phone texting Flash that I'm ready and will be waiting for him outside.

It's when I'm halfway down the elevator that my phone rings.

"Yes?"

"Hey, I just got your text and huh," he draws out.

I don't answer and just let him bask in the silence of the line.

"I'm sorry things were crazy. I'm just now getting ready."

"Wait you're getting ready?! Then when are you coming to pick me up?" I ask walking out of the elevator and pushing the door of the apartment building open letting the New York ambiance bask me in its hurriedness.

The breeze reaches me and I rub my arm getting used to the weather slipping up the back of my jacket and biting at my open back when I notice a…no way.

"Flash what did you do?"

"What-what do you mean what did I do?" he stutters.

"I mean why is there a guy looking at me waiting by a car that looks like it's worth more than the neighborhood," my question is more of a statement.

I hear him curse under his breath.

"I'm really sorry. She told me she would be subtle."

"Who?" I ask taking my eyes off the supposed driver.

"My mom. I told her I had to come to get you but she still needed me around so I insisted and even said I'd call you to push back our meeting but she said it would be disrespectful and that she would send someone."

I stay silent processing all of it.

"I'm sorry I wanted to call and tell you but I just got to my room."

I look back up to the driver and make eye contact before we exchange hasty smiles.

I sigh thinking of this all over walking down the stairs one by one slowly.

"Okay, I guess it wasn't really in your power. But you better be here when I arrive I will not show up and walk around alone." I say firmly.

"Of course," he says in all seriousness.

Telling him I'll see him soon, I hang up and focus my gaze on the driver as I approach him.

"Miss Parker?"

I nod before confirming my identity verbally.

He then motions to the car before opening the door and gesturing for me to step in.

When it clicks shut I am left with the silence of the empty vehicle.

As the buildings go by and I get closer to the venue my stress level rises and I start fidgeting and falling into a cycle of grabbing my phone, second-guessing texting Flash, and then abandoning the idea and letting my body fill up with more anxiety.

The arrival doesn't stop that nagging feeling that causes goosebumps to rush down my spine, that or the wind nipping at my back through my coat.

Walking up the stairs my nerves run wild through my body as my legs shake walking up the stairs.

Reaching the top, I make eye contact with a man standing in front of the doors. Approaching him carefully, I struggle to find my voice and I am cut off in my stutter as he guesses my last name.

Confused, I confirm his guess and my frown must ring a bell for him as he turns to the door, "I was informed that one of Mme.Thompson's guests would arrive alone and I'm guessing it's you," he says as he buzzes me in.

I nod to him as a thank you and continue to walk ahead this time on a soft and long red carpet instead of stone.

The voices, which were mere mumbles turn into booming voices coming from every corner of the room and my coat is starting to make me sweat reminding me that I'll have to discard it soon.

The thought makes me sweat even more.

Like fate, my eyes scan my surroundings and immediately fall on him standing in front of the counter right beside Lea.

He's fidgety and I see Lea receiving a glass of alcohol before making eye contact with me as she nods in my direction.

I feel hands on my shoulders and jolt stepping aside to see who touched me. I see a man who stumbles back apologizing and realize he is trying to gather my coat to let me join the crowd and a cold sweat replaces the regular sweat.

As the fabric leaves my shoulder my voice stays stuck in my throat and instead, a small squeak manages to slither out.

Still looking for my voice, I turn to him walking away with my coat.

I'm left standing there helpless.

When I see the man disappear I turn back to my previous position to look back at Flash when I see him getting hit behind the head and scolded by Lea. I also notice the glass now empty on the counter as I hear his voice more distinctly dismissing Lea with a 'Whatever' as he rushes to my side.

"He took my jacket," I husher panicked but still trying to be subtle.

"I'm sorry," he says sincerely taking off his jacket.

"I feel naked," I whisper.

"I'm so sorry," he reiters putting his jacket on my shoulders before ushering me to walk ahead leading us towards Lea at the bar.

His hand is placed on my back flaring shiver with the new sensation of his hand on my back, or maybe it is just the fresh jacket on me?

My brain focuses back and sets on Lea greeting me.

With her asking how I've been I let my hand play with the jacket and nod along with the conversation. Flash himself messes with the blazer by first securing it over my shoulder and then playing with the sleeves that hang loosely.

When my mind stops fixating on him, I blink in surprise when my ears register an apology coming from Lea about the dress. I try to protest and instead thank her for the last-minute save when Flash's mother appears to join and inform us that we need to scatter around.

I stand clueless for a moment before I feel his hand on my back gently pushing me to walk alongside him.

Led around once more I decide to stop being dragged around like a clueless puppet and tug the hand placed on my back to entertwine our arms and walk together instead of letting him direct me around.

I don't talk much. I mostly nod and answer small questions here and there.

The evening runs along pretty smoothly as each interaction the two of us have only lasts few minutes before Flash skillfully finds a way to bid our goodbyes and walk us to yet another couple beckoning us over.

"Oh no."

"What is it?" I ask him trying to glance in the direction he was looking at to see an older lady standing there motioning us to join her.

"That's Garret's grandmother."

"And she's a mean old lady," I deduct.

"No worse, she's a passive-aggressive bitch."

I'm taken aback by his name-calling and look back at the woman waiting impatiently for us.

"I think she's waiting for us," I suggest.

"Okay, don't talk and stay close to me," he instructs.

"You mean like I've been doing for the past hour and a half?"

My teasing provokes a smile to appear on his face for a moment but it quickly disappears when his head turns back to the lady as he walks us toward her.

I hug his arm getting closer to him as he uses his opposite hand and brings it to our linked arms as a sort of comfort I'm guessing.

"Eugene," she beckons us over with a honeyed voice.

Her mask falls for a moment and I can see a glimpse of irritation before, like any other influential figure, she morphs her face into a more pleased expression.

"Madam Pennington," Flash says with an edge.

I first think that his tone might've been hesitation, but that changes when the woman gets that sour look back on her face and I realize his tone is subtly bitter.

Without trying, my brain does the math in a matter of seconds and I realize that if Flash refers to her with another last name than Garret's it must mean she is divorced.

She makes eye contact with me as my face must've shown that I figured Flash's comment out and her burning stare drives me to get closer to him for protection.

He clears his throat driving her murderous stare back to him as I abandon the idea of nodding along to their conversation and instead subtly look around the room.

The buffet, the people, anything other than the two of them.

"My grandson seems to be upset. When I tried talking to him about it he refused to speak but I did overhear that you two fought over a girl," she ends her sentence looking at me up and down.

"And by overhear you mean that you snooped around against your grandson's wish," his argument is aimed not only at defending himself but McCoy's privacy as well which surprises me.

"Excuse you?"

Her voice getting louder I notice McCoy himself standing just a few feet away from us looking at his grandmother about to blow a fuse and I decide to diffuse the tension.

"I believe your grandson is looking for you," I say nodding toward him standing there frozen, "And Flash your mother is looking for us over there."

Pushing him into motion I look back to see Garret approaching his grandmother but decide to not dwell on the talk they're about to have.

"Are you okay?" I ask as we hurry away from them.

He doesn't answer and just nods with a hum. He does however ask where his mother is and that's when I frown.

"You know I made it up so we could flee the conflict, right?"

He stops in his tracks before turning to me and I can see the gears turning in his head.

"Oh, yeah."

We keep eye contact and it must take a toll on him because he then avoids my stare and decides to look forward, all stiff.

I'm guessing the only reason he doesn't flee is the fact that our arms are still tangled together but I don't want to let go.

Maybe it's selfish but since the last time we talked, or more precisely the last we talked and I was not in gear, he ran away and ghosted me.

I want an explanation.

"This place is beautiful," I say looking around at the structure trying to pry a conversation out of him.

"I have something to tell you."

His tone is particular and I can't make out if he's hopeful or desperate.

My own tone embarrasses me as I egg him on full of anticipation.

"There's this type of dance and-" he cuts himself off and stares behind us.

Turning around, I spot McCoy staring right back at him.

"Not again," I hear him say under his breath.

I want to ask him if he's gonna be okay or if he'd like me to stay with him to talk to Garret but he shakes my hands off his arm and grabs it before taking off in the direction of the stairs.

"Come on follow me."

I can only let out a small squeal of surprise before catching up with his footing as the previous noisy venu dies down when we reach the second floor.

Once up there he doesn't stop and continues to sprint down the hall before taking a turn and tugging me to a corner away from McCoy.

My back is placed against the wall and I rearrange the jacket on my shoulders as I see Flash look around the corner to see if Garret is following us.

I suppose he gave up the idea as Flash visibly relaxes and turns back to me.

The proximity reminds me of that night at the laser game and the sudden look on his face tells me he must reminisce as well.

He knows that I know what we're both thinking about because we avoid eye contact and I let my eyes bounce between the multiple decors as a decoy.

"This place is beautiful. I wonder what it would feel to go to sleep in a place like that," I try to deflect from the tension.

"It's like any other place, you go to bed and you fall asleep," he brushes off trying to avoid the tension as well.

The simple statement makes me turn back to him and make eye contact as the realization slowly sets in.

"No."

"No, what?" he frowns.

"You slept here before?" my question sounds more like a statement.

"Yeah."

"But you live like 20 minutes away."

"Oh so now you know where I live Parker?"

My eyes widen at his insinuation.

I'm not a stalker!

"Well after you pointed out that I didn't know where you lived I was curious. If anything you're the one who told me I should know where you lived."

"Yeah and by that I meant coming over not googling my address."

"I did not Google your address!" I lie, "You're making me look bad!"

My restlessness makes him laugh.

Still chuckling he points ahead silently asking me to follow him.

"It's more of a tradition. My mom wants us to stay and sleep here every year," he says walking peacefully beside me.

It's a change compared to his erratic running just a few minutes ago.

"So you also slept at the fairytale mansion?"

"Fairytale mansion?"

"Yeah, the one where Lea got married."

Confused, it takes him a few seconds before his frown disappears and his mouth opens with an 'Oh'.

"Yeah," he simply says opening a door as I stand here frozen.

I know he probably wants me to enter but I'm confused and look at him waiting for an explanation.

He doesn't answer and instead walks inside reaching the other side of the bed to retrieve something.

With hesitation, I take a cautious step in looking around as if the room is full of boobie traps when I hear a dull thump and look back to see him throwing a gym bag on the queen-sized bed.

It must be the glamour of the night inhibiting my ability to be logical at times because it takes me a few seconds before my confusion turns into curiosity.

"Is that your bag?"

"No, I just love going through other people's stuff."

I don't answer or laugh and just raise my brows.

"Yes Parker, It's my bag."

I relax and close the door behind me before walking toward the bed warily and sitting down softly as the mattress sinks under me.

"I thought if I have to run away from Garret, why not pause before going back out there?" he explains throwing a book on the bed covers.

He dives back into his bag as I grab the book.

"Hey, I know that book!" I note joyfully.

I see him stop scrambling through his bag and look back up at me.

"Really?" he hesitates.

"Yeah I talked about it with Susan on your birthday. Usually, she's not into these kind of books but she's been watching a show similar to it so I mentioned it to her."

When he doesn't answer and doesn't make a move to dive back into his bag, another question comes troubling me.

"By the way, how did you hear about this book?"

"Oh um, someone told me about it," he says fumbling with the clothes inside the bag.

"Really? Who?" I ask knowing this isn't his type of book.

He doesn't answer and I assume it must be Garret who told him about the book and he simply doesn't wanna talk about him.

"You know as much as I don't like Garret, he's been your friend for years," I tip-toe around the issue and remember that he must not know about the video I saw where he's going off on McCoy and his clique.

"And?"

"And. With such a great taste in books, how could you not forgive him?" I try to turn the tension into something lighter with a chuckle gesturing to the book.

His frown turns into surprise, "Oh yeah, yeah! It's Garret who told me about it a few weeks ago."

"I never thought Garret would be the kind of guy who reads outside of school," I try to say without sounding mean.

A flash of red in my peripheral vision attracts my attention to turn away from the papercover and fills me with excitement when I recognize the sight.

"You brought him!" I say gripping the plushy and letting the book fall back on the covers.

He seems satisfied with my reaction and tugs his bag to fall back down before he too takes a seat beside me.

I lean down with my feet dangling as my back makes contact with the lavish bedding.

I take a look over at the Spiderman plushy wondering if in the small period of time any harm came his way. My detective work comes out dry as the plush doesn't seem to have been put under any distress when I hear him lay down as well.

I turn my gaze to him ready to make another joke and congratulate him on the plush's wellbeing when I see him already looking back at me and lose my smile as the memories flash back.

The muffled music, the way his curls were laying on his bed. He's been growing them out.

I like his hair long.

I like his lips too.

The calmness I feel is cut short when the bedroom door swings open and the sound of heels thud on the carpeted ground.

I raise up in my seat in a rush and grip the plushy hard against my chest in a panic as if I had just been caught having sex.

"Jee! Ever heard of knocking?!" he shouts sitting up after me.

"Coming from you?" Lea says looking up and down at him with an incredulous expression.

He sighs. I don't know if it comes from annoyance or relief from the previous scene.

"I've been looking for you two, your mother sent me to get you, come on now it's about to start," she says turning back on her heels and pulling the door behind her to leave it half closed waiting for us to join her.

"What's about to start?" I wonder looking at him after admiring her walk away.

The face I find makes mine fall. The paleness and distress plastered on his face makes me feel like I'm about to be the butt of the joke.

His blank stare angers me and figuring out I won't get any explanation from him I jump on my feet straightening the jacket on my shoulder to run after her.

Any other day it would've been to get an autograph but right now my only hope is to get reassured that all of it is just a huge misunderstanding.

Surely 'It's about to start' cannot be that bad? Maybe just a toast, or a speech?

"What's about to start?" I say trying to catch up to her but my question goes unanswered when we reach the top of the stairs and I see the Thompson matriarch taking the venue by storm as she speaks up in the middle of the stairs with her voice reasoning through the immense space.

"Ladies and gentlemen!"

I hear her call out before my arm is engulfed and my gaze is redirected to him.

"I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you really, but I kept being interrupted and then there was Garret and then we had a moment of calm and we started to talk and-"

"This evening has been fulfilling and I enjoy each and every one of your presence-"

My ears cannot keep up in between the two speeches. I'm even more overwhelmed when I realize that Lea has left us at the top of the split stairs, walked beside Aliyah, and joined her newlywed husband down the stairs.

"The time has come, and I know you enjoy it as much as I do," she says with a cheeky smile and a look of knowledge across the room sending the surroundings into a fit of chuckles.

"So now. I invite you to take your partner by the arm, and let's join each other in the other room so the waltz can take place."

The end of her speech sends a cold sweat down my back and I turn back to him unable to scream.

I'm speechless and incapable of voicing my anger and frustration.

The words want to come out but my brain is mushing together my two arguments, the one where I tear him a new one for not warning me or the one where I yell that I don't know how to dance.

Why didn't he think of inviting someone who knows how to dance?!

"A waltz?! I don't even know how to dance!" I say loudly enough to share my panic and frustration without attracting any looks.

His newest excuse gets cut off by his mother reaching us at the top of the stairs, " What are you two still doing here, come on chop chop," she finishes clapping her hands to drive us to hurry downstairs.

Another gasp fights its way into my lungs when I realize I'm about to disappoint her as well.

It's only logical for her son to dance in an event she organized.

I'm standing here looking like an idiot with my mouth wide open when my own voice surprises me, "I don't know how to dance!" I say point-blank.

"Of course you do! You went to the same elementary school and I distinctly remember your grade took ball lessons," she says proudly.

The new information confuses me and I doubt the woman's memory.

Maybe she's confusing me with another girl.

Not knowing how to question her or flatly deny her version of the event, I start to babble as I notice Lea walking back up the stairs with her arm under her husband's.

"No-I. I don't. I mean-I never," I ramble, any argument dying on my tongue leaving me a stuttering mess.

I don't know how to word my sentence when my eyes notice Flash's face getting sour the more his mother insists.

"Mom she said she doesn't want to," he says dryly.

I don't know if it's out of annoyance or out of shame but both possibilities are taking a toll on me and I feel the tears coming alongside the lack of oxygen.

"Well, what do you propose we do? Your father isn't here so I can't dance and one of us needs to!"

"We've been hosting this event every year for 5 years now I think we can sit this one out," he says somewhat confidently.

"I would've liked a bit of a heads up Eugene," Aliyah scolds him through her teeth.

Yeah, me too.

"They're waiting for us. Flash come on, come dance with me," Lea says extending her hand to him and taking a look at her proposal I see Mme.Thompson's bulb light up atop her head.

"You didn't even tell her there would be a dance?!" Her accusation seems rhetorical as the deep frown on her face doesn't seem ready to welcome any excuses.

He scrunches his eyes close and rubs them but doesn't answer and opens them back up to look at me.

I see regret and wonder if he regrets inviting me. A ball clogs my throat and I try to stay as stone-faced as possible instead of making a scene by dropping on the stairs and starting to ball like a baby.

He breathes in before following Lea's lead and I stop him. Placing my hand on his chest, I then shrug off the jacket he gave me and hand it back to him, my subconscious somehow realizing he would need it to look put together.

He walks down the stairs as his mother softly takes my arm under hers.

"I'm sorry, I would think my son would have the decency to tell you about this," she sighs as we walk down the stairs.

"But then again I should have known better with how different he's been acting lately."

I didn't intend to answer but that last bit of rant resonates with me and the wave of embarrassment and sadness I feel take a step back to leave place to my curiosity.

"Yeah I think Lea made a comment about it," I say looking at his back.

He suddenly turns his head around and looks at me following him before he turns back around and walks ahead taking his place with Lea in the middle of the room with the others.

Mme.Thompson stops us to stand around the crowd around the room and leave enough space for the others to dance in the middle of it.

Taking her attention away from me, she nods away seemingly to someone before music starts resounding in the area.

"I shouldn't burden you with that," she says with a warm smile while she rubs my arm in comfort.

"Oh no it doesn't burden me. I just hope he gets better."

My well wishes widen her smile.

"I'm glad he has you to hang out with," she says warmly.

"You're a good influence on him. and I can only hope you two stay close, it's not every day my son doesn't complain about this event."

"Yes, he told me about that. He was very thankful for saving him from those stares about him not having a date," I remember our conversation.

"Stares? Why would anyone stare at him fo not having a date?"

I frown, "You know. The rule about having a date for this charity in fear of being the talk of the night," I say trying to nudge her to remember.

"There was never such a rule. Who told you that? Eugene? Léa?"

I'm left speechless and with my mouth hanging open as the frown orning my face doesn't subside.

Her own frown is quickly replaced by a smile before she abruptly apologizes when a woman motions her over.

The loss of her arm is like a warm blanket has been ripped away making me notice the stares I was previously blind to.

A couple stares at me while another switches their stare back and forth between me and Flash, probably wondering why his date is not the one in his arms.

I look at him and see he's arguing with Léa while they waltz around and the sight would impress me if I wasn't confused as to why they look like they're ready to bite at each other's throat.

Another peep and I see that same man watching me with a nasty look before not-so-subtly whispering to his wife who makes eye contact with me before she answers him with a snarky smile.

I look around trying to convince myself I'm being tricked by my own paranoia when I start hearing my own intakes of breath and know it's a sign that it's all getting too much.

In my panic and without Ms.Thompson around to take my mind off things, I search for his face and find him already looking at me.

The panic sets in my chest and I know I need to step out for fresh air but I hesitate to do so in worry of the scene looking bad to the public.

Feeling the meltdown creeping up closer and closer, I look around and notice an arch under the stairs leading to a hallway and remember seeing multiple people passing through during the night and I conclude it must be the path towards a bathroom.

Sending a tense smile his way, I turn around to walk away.

Getting closer to my goal I step aside to let someone exit before walking in and locking the bathroom door behind me.

With the door shutting off most other noise from outside, I stand in front of the mirror and take a deep breath filling my lungs and trying to shake my head off those thoughts before hanging my head down and blowing out.

I raise my head and look at myself in the mirror to see the tears pricking my eyes and silently scold myself before reaching for a towel and trying my best to chase away the tears without messing up my mascara.

Another breath in and I take in my appearance one more time giving myself a pep talk before straightening my dress and deciding to go back out there before anyone starts to whisper about a possible date on the run.

I wouldn't want him to be surrounded.

Or maybe he'd like me to go.

I remember his face, the one he had on those damn stairs where I wondered why I accepted his invitation and why I let myself believe it could be that easy.

I violently shake my head off those thoughts and unlock the door ready to indulge the rest of this night before cutting all contact with Flash Thompson as I hear the distant music flooding back in my ears.

Lost in my thoughts I run straight into someone.

"I'm so sorry I-" My automatic response is cut short when I recognize him and the words get stuck in my throat.

"Hi," he blurs out.

I can only say hi back coldly as I believe any other response would send me back into the bathroom to place another tissue under my eyes.

"I swear I was gonna tell you."

His voice breaks the silence and when my ears register his words, I can't respond and instead walk around him to the other side of the hallway with my mind fixed on the idea that tonight was a mistake.

"No need to say sorry Flash-" I say nonchalantly, done with this poor decision of mine to accept his invitation.

"But I want to!"

I mess with a bust displayed on a table and let my finger slide on the statue trying to avoid his stare.

"Listen, it's completely my fault and I'm an idiot for not telling you. I was freaking out when I asked you to come here with me and I had my mind set so hard on you telling me you wouldn't come that when you said yes I was taken by surprise and the dance completely slipped off my mind."

I listen on with a frown. I stop messing with the bust and turn around leaning on the table as I look down avoiding his stare.

"My mom was the one who reminded me of it and then you called freaking out about the dress so I focused on that and I forgot again and then you walked in with your dress and then there was Garret's grandma and then Garrett and everything else followed so when there was just the two of us I just couldn't remember. And then Léa came in and you looked so sad and scared and angry I didn't know what to do."

I stand there listening to him spit out everything weighing on him before he suddenly breathes in for the first time and looks at me.

"I'm so sorry. I really am."

His gaze traps me and the remorse drowning his irises drains the anger out of me.

"You also lied about the date rule," I say, my voice barely able to convey any emotion.

I don't even find it in myself to yell at him, any scolding coming to mind being one he already gave himself.

"I'm an idiot and a coward and I completely get it if you never want to talk to me again."

At that I don't even know what to answer.

I did say I'd cut all contact with Flash Thompson after tonight but just a few weeks back I would've also said I'd never talk to him outside of schoolwork.

"Okay," I say after a while of silence trying to set us back in a way we can both be comfortable discussing with each other.

"If we're going on an apology spree I think I should be apologizing as well."

"What could you possibly have to apologize for? I'm the one who invited you last minute, so last minute that you didn't even have anything to wear."

I hear his step closing up on me before I put distance between us and walk back and forth down the hall.

"You invited me here to be your partner and I couldn't even participate in the important part of the night. Then there were the stairs and then people were talking and looking at you and Lea and then at me and it was all just so-"

My apology turns into a ramble and the simple retelling of the event produces that same panic inside of me.

Getting ready to excuse myself to go to the bathroom a second time, I turn around to see him standing right behind me. I can't look at him and instead focus my gaze on the floor trying to breathe properly when I feel his arms gently wrap around me and pull me in for a hug.

My finger messes with the fabric at the back of his jacket as my face is buried in the front of it trying to hide my face and not make eye contact.

I fool myself into thinking if I avoid eye contact with him we will stop talking in circles or better yet stop avoiding each other like the plague.

I also hope this way he won't see me on the verge of crying for the second time tonight.

"If anything," he says using my words as I feel his hand come up to stroke my hair, "I'm the one who should've thought better than to think you would still remember those dance classes," he says in a lighter tone.

I recognize his attempt to lighten up the situation and change the topic.

His comment makes me frown and against the warm feeling blossoming in my chest, I lift my face from the depth of his jacket to look at him.

"Yeah your mom talked about that but I don't think I ever took any dance classes, I think she mistook me for someone else."

His face, previously relaxed, falls and a sympathetic smile appears, "No you did," he says quietly, matching the hushed hallway.

My knitted brows are enough indication for him to continue his explanation.

He exhales through his nose and looks down messing with my hand to avoid making eye contact, "It was back when we were…around six? Seven?"

My confusion only deepens as I'm unable to rack my brain for a memory when I feel him tug on my hand gently drawing me closer to him and my frown turns into a muted gasp.

I don't have time to ask what he is doing when he laces our hands together and asks me in the quietest voice if he can.

It is then I realize he's asking to put his hand on my bare back to, I assume, teach me how to waltz.

I can't find my voice, the situation taking me aback so much so that instead of voicing my consent I decide to instead nod and place his hand myself to reassure him of my agreement.

I did not realize that my back was cold, most likely due to getting used to the lack of coverage but I feel it now as his hand feels hot against it.

My full attention is on him before my eyes are drawn down as I see him taking a step forward driving me to respond and step backward.

The motion has me uncontrollably giggling as my left foot follows his right to step to the side.

"Why exactly are we doing this right now?" I ask with another titter.

"Doing what?"

"Dancing Flash," I laugh, "Waltzing in the hallway."

"Dusting up memories. Proving to you that you do know how to dance or if you're right, to teach you how to waltz to apologize for not telling you there would be a dance."

My previous smile falls and I tilt my head back with a loud sigh.

"I apologized again," he awkwardly notices.

"Yes Flash, stop apologizing," I say looking at him straight in the eyes and raising my brows to emphasize my demand.

"I can't, I feel bad."

I reposition my hand on his shoulder with a light stroke as I squeeze our hands letting us continue swaying gently.

I find myself frustrated at his confession when my brain clears up and suddenly remember our last time together.

He feels bad about not telling me about the dance but he doesn't feel bad about running off the last time we saw each other?!

I remember waiting an entire week for a call or even a text. Jumping to my phone at every notification hoping it was him giving me an explanation for running off on me.

I force myself to brush it off when the feeling of his thumb stroking my back envelops me in a daze I want to hold onto until the night inevitably ends.

"Let's call it even then. You didn't tell me about the dance and I couldn't fulfill my side of the bargain."

"It wasn't a bargain, you just did me a favor."

I can't argue back and decide to look away.

"See, you're doing it."

I look back at him with panic thinking he's going to call me out on my avoidant stare and start a new argument when I see him smile before I notice that he's talking about us dancing and it is then that I look down and realize I'm naturally mirroring his movements.

I laugh impressed at myself before looking back at him as we acknowledge my accomplishment.

Our shared smile diminishes as he stops our dance.

"I didn't invite you because I was desperate," he confesses, "I just really wanted to hang out with you."

I stand there frozen before he gently nudges me sending us back into a soft waltz.

His honesty stuns me and I follow his lead again.

"I think it might be the first time you've been honest with me," It's my turn to confess.

"I don't always lie," he defends himself.

"No, but you never opened up like that before."

I see him trying to avoid eye contact and I silently scold myself as my words seem to drive him away once again.

"I like that," I quickly follow up.

That does it. his eyes raise back to meet mine.

"Why don't you do it more often?"

At that, he seems to hesitate as we gently sway side to side.

"You know friends share their feelings," I remind him of our conversation yesterday where he invited me to come here as a friend.

I can see that the memory rings a bell as he stops our movement once more.

I see his eyes desperate to say something but he's struggling with himself to find the right words as I witness his mouth open and close over and over again.

"See, like riding a bike. It comes back naturally," he manages to say stepping back trying to avoid the subject.

"You're doing it again," I say trying my best to not sound frustrated.

He huffs and slides his hand down his face.

He huff?!

How is he the one pissed off right now?!

I cross my hands taking a harsher stance.

"Okay, you said open so I'm gonna be open," he says fidgeting around.

"If you want us to be friends, you can't expect me to just tell you everything that goes through my head at every moment."

I sigh, "I guess it's fair."

My response appears to relax him.

"But," he interjects, "I guess I could make an effort."

I smile despite myself and look away to try and hide the fact that he turned the situation around once again.

My attempt fails when he looks for my face to catch me smile.

I turn away but he walks around me trying to catch me.

In a last attempt, I hid my face on the verge of laughter.

"Hey wait, you're cheating!" he protests with a chuckle.

I feel his hand on my wrists and yet he doesn't use force to uncover my face.

We stay like this for a moment before I muster the courage to slide my hands away from my eyes and meet his.

He smiles back and that feeling comes again, the one where I feel electricity run through my body.

Like the night he kissed me.

I feel frozen in space like I'm only able to breathe and blink.

He gets closer, so close that our forehead touches and I instinctively close my eyes waiting to feel his lips on mine like that night.

He's so close and yet doesn't make a move to close the distance between us. It makes me groan internally when I remember he's probably waiting for me to make a move.

He's literally two inches away from me and I'm still here what more does he need? for me to swing a flare in the air? Scream at him at the top of my lungs to kiss me?

The tension is suffocating and it's cut short when I feel a breeze of air where I should feel him.

"Thank you, I really wanted to dance with Lea. And don't be mad, I promise, you'll get a dance too," he says cheekily as I stand there completely confused.

He's quick to hold my shoulders and push us to the side. It's when I get my senses back and see a man walk past us to access the bathroom.

I get the answer I'm looking for when I look back at him and see him smile at me.

That's when I have to hold back my laugh with him as the bathroom door closes.

Placing my hand on my mouth, I snort before I see an arm presented to me and look up to see Flash waiting for me.

With the tension now gone I happily hold his arm as he directs us away from the lonely hallway to the booming evening when we cross paths with Mme.Thompson.

"There you are!" she says joyfully.

"I was talking to a few colleagues and they were adamant that I at least ask you to join us."

I open my mouth trying to find the words to politely decline when her son beats me to it.

"No Mom I think it's time for her to go home. Her aunt will kill me if I don't drive her back before 1."

Sharing her chagrin, Mme.Thompson bids me her goodbyes before she shares a look with Flash and tells him to come back as soon as possible telling him he'll be spending time with Garret.

The end of her sentence isn't met with agreement or joy but silence as I'm ushered outside with the cold temperature that doesn't get to reach me before I feel his jacket engulf my shoulders once again.

Another gesture he makes is to offer his hand to help me walk down the stairs of the building. I pause and look down at my heels and conclude like him that it's going to be harder to step down the stairs than it was to climb them.

The thought makes me laugh to myself before I accept his hand and carefully make my way down with another set of giggles.

"I'm never borrowing heels from May ever again," I manage to let out in between giggles.

"Miss Parker forgot to calculate the probability that those heels were gonna be a problem?"

The remark takes me by surprise and makes me stumble.

I crouch to make sure I don't end up face-first on the concrete and my position makes me snort as I hide my face behind my hands and kneel in the middle of the stairs to ground myself.

From any other perspective, I look drunk and I'm being chaperoned by Harrison Thompson's son.

My laugh turns into a fit and I'm left laughing out loud, gripping my aching stomach and praying the feeling doesn't kill me.

"Okay I think I got it, sit down," he says laughing about my situation.

Lost in my euphoria I barely manage to sit up on one of the stairs waiting to see his plan to help me down.

I try to calm myself down when he stands in front of the stairs and places my hands on his shoulders. I finally understand his idea when I'm lifted in the air by my hips and grip his shoulder in a reflex as I'm left gasping when I land on the ground.

I gaze at him and his previous smile falls a bit as he stands there with a blank expression.

I'm almost sure I see his eyes switch to my lips.

"Sorry," he apologizes for his sudden plan to get me down those stairs with a small smile trying his luck at diffusing the tension.

I reassure him before he gently directs me to his car.

The silence is calming and comfortable and I notice I had never been in his car before.

I bask in the comfort, all giddy as I look outside the window admiring the city I love to swing in so much.

He chimes in with small talks here and there and in my new feeling of serenity, I mindlessly make one-word answers.

After a while of admiring the scenery, I look back inside the car when I notice him fidgeting around looking tense.

"Is everything okay?"

"Are you mad?" he asks as his hand tightens up on the steering wheel.

"No, why do you ask?" I return the question fidgeting in my seat to get more comfortable.

"I don't know, you don't talk much. Usually I can't get you to stop talking," he says scratching his face before returning his focus to the road, his side eye gauging my reaction.

I guess the comfortable silence wasn't shared and so I rattle my brain to find a topic we could discuss to fill the apparent discomfort he feels.

Trying to take the attention away from the topic of 'us', I remember the look he and McCoy shared and decide to ask hastily.

"Are you gonna reconcile with Garret?"

"Is that what you're mad about?"

"No Flash, I'm not mad. I'm just trying to make conversation since you seem to think my silence means that I'm angry."

"So you're not mad," he affirms one more time.

"No, I'm not mad."

"Cool," he finishes before he falls himself into silence.

"So? Garret?" I ask after a few beats of silence.

"Let's not talk about Garret."

"Too late, now I'm curious," I say turning on my side to give him my full attention.

"I reminded you how to dance cut me some slack," he whines.

"No," I laugh, "You taught me how to dance. I told you I didn't take dance courses."

His own laugh is short-lived, "Yes, you did."

"When?" I challenge him.

He pauses and takes a deep breath as we reach a red light, "It was during that time you moved to your Aunt May's."

The confession throws a cold in the vehicle.

"Oh," is all that manages to come out of my mouth.

"I remember," he says messing with his steering wheel waiting for the light to turn green, "You looked out of it during that time. It was what? 1st grade? 2nd grade?"

I wish he wouldn't pause in between bombs because the multiple aspects of the current situation make everything point to us being forced to look at each other.

I audibly exhale and wait for anything to come and fill the heavy silence of the car.

I even think about reaching over and turning on the radio.

"Why would we talk about my friendship with Garret?" he tries to distract from the conversation with a new topic.

"Oh, so there IS a friendship," I point out jumping on the occasion to step away from the previous topic, proud we have succeeded in shifting the subject.

In a streak of luck, the light turns green, and new chatter fills the car with a newfound lightness.

He sighs, "I don't know. Would that be a problem?"

"Why do you ask me? I don't manage your friendships."

"I don't know. I thought about just leaving that friendship behind but who knows," he says glancing at me with a teasing glint in his eyes, "If you root for him I could find it in myself to grace McCoy."

I chuckle as I change my position deciding to hug the headrest with my arm to rest my head on it.

"Sounds to me like you're afraid to choose for yourself."

He scoffs and laughs it off, "No, I'm just asking for someone else's opinion. Second opinions are important too."

It's silent as he shifts gears and I realize we're getting closer to my neighborhood.

"I thought about just ghosting him for a while. And with what happened last time, it feels like he's never gonna change," he confesses, "And maybe that's how it's supposed to end between us two."

"Ghosting?"

"Yeah, I don't think a discussion could get us anywhere useful. Garret is not the type of person to apologize anyways."

His demeanor is nonchalant but his expression shows a rare vulnerability.

"Some people just don't grow up," I barely manage to hear him mutter.

I hesitate but the observation kills me.

"That's very wise of you," I notice out loud.

He realizes I must've heard him and chuckles mostly at himself.

"I am wise," he proudly states as he turns the car again.

"That's just something Léa said," he adds.

He notices when I frown, "Believe it or not but my problems with Garret started before his attempt on your life," he jokes as he parks.

With the car now off I place my hand on his shoulder as a silent encouragement, squeezing and smiling at him before letting go of the headrest and looking out the window to see my apartment building.

I don't think much of it and open the car door to slip out of the vehicle.

"You know I'm supposed to be the one that opens the door for you, right?"

I turn my focus away from the building to see him getting out of his car, his head poking up from his car's roof.

He gets closer and stands right beside me at the bottom of the paved stairs.

He faces me and with newfound courage, I try my luck.

"Didn't you say we were going to this event as friends?"

"Opening a car door doesn't mean anything. It just says I have manners."

I hum impressed by his quick answer and see his hand already out for me to take.

Frowning, his smile turns my grimace into a bright smile when I recall the stairs incident.

I chuckle and grip his hand as he leads me up the stairs.

"See," he says as we reach the top of the stairs, "Just a gentleman."

My laugh dies down as we face each other with an awkward silence that I break when I slip his jacket off of my shoulder and hand it back to him.

He grasps it and looks down at it. He seems to hesitate before he looks back up at me clutching the fabric in his hands.

"School starts back tomorrow. See you there?" he asks.

"Yeah," I let out, my voice softer than it should be, "See you there."

I end the night with a kiss on his cheek, taking the risk of letting it last longer than it should.

The silence isn't tense or awkward and I know this time it goes for the both of us as we share a smile and I grip his shoulder squeezing it one last time.

"Good luck with McCoy."

His serene expression turns sour as he scrunchs his eyes shut and rolls his head back.

"You didn't have to bring up McCoy," he whines as I let a quick laugh escape me one last time tonight.

"Good night," I say with a smile, satisfied with how fulfilling this evening has been.

"Good night."

I let go of him and step back towards the door before I have to inevitably turn around and leave him there.

My last view of him is his figure standing right there looking back at me with a charming smile.

I'm not sure but I could swear he grazes his cheek where I kissed him goodbye in-between the smallest gap of the building's door as it shuts close.

#flash thompson imagine #flash thompson x reader #flash thompson x oc #flash thompson fanfic #flash thompson #spiderman homecoming #spiderman: no way home #spiderman far from home #spiderman: far from home #fanfic

29 notes · View notes

clqveris · 10 months

Text

stock dancing but it's all the fandoms i've ever been in

despite tumblr's accounts being called blogs, this is probably going to be the only "blog post" that I'll ever post. at least in the near future.

it's going to be a long one. disclaimer, it will contain some talk of things like fandom discourse, as well of mentions of Dead Dove topics, so scroll away if you need.

it will also be pretty personal, so I'm not adding all the tags for the fandoms and characters. this is mostly to those who know me.

I'll start at the beginning, in the best chronological order that I can remember. Not by order of appearance in the video, because I kept forgetting what came first when drawing the frames.

My Little Pony (Rarity) and Warrior Cats (Firestar)

These were my very first "fandoms." Before I even went to school, I discovered MLP on the television. I then proceeded to draw those stupid little ponies on the desk and some plastic containers. Thankfully it was with pencil, and not on any important containers and whatnot. Very glad I'm not a brony now, and very glad there was a human version so I didn't have to make a pony awkwardly dance.

Warrior cats was a series I read for a long time. I don't remember when I dropped it, but I just ended up losing interest. It has been stretched out by a lot by now, I believe. Warrior cats was also the first fandom that I "participated" in, by using Amino. Somehow, miraculously, I got out unscathed. By that, I mean no "safe adults" or suspicious people approached me. Not that I would've fallen for it after listening to internet safety week. Firestar is at the end of the animation because, well, it's difficult to make a non-anthro cat dance the same way as people do.

It's funny, because these two are most associated with people becoming furries later on in life, and somehow I am the only one who doesn't take much of an interest in furries within my friend group.

LittleBigPlanet (Sackboy) and Vocaloid (Miku)

LBP wasn't something that I was really "in a fandom" for, but I definitely really enjoyed playing it with my best friend and even made my own username based on it. I remember playing LBP, LBP2, and LBP3, and the disaster that was LBP3 because after finishing the story, none of it would load properly. Tons of surfaces and props would just be missing. Still, it's a nice game to look back on.

I will be honest, this is probably the first Miku I've drawn. Vocaloid has just been a thing in my life since discovering it back... I don't remember when, but the first music that went in playlists of music I liked to listen to was generally made with vocaloid or other voice synthesizers. Miku has always been there, somehow.

*not to be mistaken with AI voice generators, as people actually agree to provide their voice for the voice synthesizers

Marvel (Winter Soldier), Pokemon (Misty), Yandere Simulator (stand in- Vera)

I never drew anything for Marvel, except for the above frame. My family watched it when I was younger, everyone watched it before it started falling off after the infinity stones thing got resolved. The only reason I put it here was because I definitely read fanfiction for it, and definitely thought there was something fruity about america and his best friend. I mean, you find yourself in the future and everyone you've ever known is dead except wait, your best friend isn't, but he's brainwashed and now you have to kill him, so you betray the government and all your new friends instead to try and reach him. Shame that kind of story was stuck in the mcu.

Pokemon was an interesting phase. I drew Pokemon in ms paint, but never any of the humans. I had (still have some) Pokemon plushes and watched the first Pokemon anime on Netflix when it was still on there. I also watched the one with Serena. This was also the fandom that I first discovered porn. And tentacles. So if you ask me why, it's because of Pokemon. It's rather funny, because once again, I seem to be the only one in the friend group who doesn't take an interest in Pokemon anymore.

Yandere Simulator was discovered in elementary school. Because it's been shown that the dev was found to be interacting inappropriately with minors, I have not drawn the protagonist of the game and instead used an OC of mine as a stand in. All you need to know about Vera is that he is not a good person. I used to draw for this fandom back in my Amino days, just a bit, but ended up dropping it because of more and more people pointing out his incompetency. Plus, the complaint that to do anything in game you would have to watch the videos on YouTube, thus making a blind playthrough impossible. As well as his "sex license" comment, which was more than enough to turn me away from that game.

That aside, YanSim was my first exposure to the "yandere" trope- the obsessive, possessive type characters. In the game, it was done in a very bland way, but I like the general idea of the trope. Its influence still drives me towards certain preferences of mine in other fandoms, but I'd rather attribute that to Araki, who apparently popularized the trope with Yukako. I guess this is probably where my interest in "bad things happening in fiction" started.

Don't Hug Me I'm Scared (Sketchbook), Don't Starve (Willow), Cookie Run (Roguefort Cookie)

Initially, DHMIS was going to be my second or third fandom on the list, but I realized that I got into it when I was old enough to have an email address, and not before. Hence, now it's down here. I ended up using that popular design of the human sketchbook to be recognizable. It was an interesting fandom, and also another from my Amino days. I don't know who came up with the idea of the sketchbook and the clock having a love-hate relationship, but looking back on it, they might've been cooking. I remember joining a discord server for it, having my phone get taken away, and then coming back and the server was about the grinch. I also remember that this was the first time I actually interacted with the community and talking to the others within the fandom, since the Amino community was pretty small. I look back at it and cringe, because there are so many things I did for attention. Instead of linking back to a person, I would put emojis around the link with sunglasses and pointing hands saying "This idea came from 😎 👉 this person." All that aside, this is probably where my interest in horror started.

The only reason I remembered that I was technically in the Don't Starve fandom was because I went looking in my folder of drawings and found some there. Then I remembered that yes, I had also read fanfiction for it. Mostly, though, it was a videogame that I played with my family. I ended up using the charcoal pencil brush here for Willow, instead of the pen, to mimic the artstyle just a bit.

Cookie Run is a fandom that I was in, and only get back in briefly whenever Roguefort is in an event. I also first discovered it due to an artist on tumblr who I followed for DHMIS. No idea where they are now because I can't remember the correct spelling of the username. Other than that, I just play the game, which I have been playing since before high school. Now I am out of high school. It was also the fandom that I believe was probably responsible for a good amount of my early art improvement, due to some art challenge where you drew every cookie. Overall, fond memories, but I'd rather not return to the fandom. Too much drama, too many people making big fusses over dumb shit. The Valentine's Day video being an especially dumb one, especially when you consider that maybe, putting in offensive stereotypes contributes to bad perceptions of real life people vs some ship between biscuits. I even remember asking, when I was younger, "Should I ship Pink Choco cookie with White Choco cookie or Hero cookie? I can't decide." Poor little me didn't know about multishipping, and the answer I got was that "Some people headcanon the Choco cookies as siblings, so it's safer to ship her with Hero." Well, now that I'm older, I have decided that I don't have the energy to act like fictional ships anywhere near the same level as real relationships and problems, and would probably ship both were I still interested in the fandom.

Team Fortress 2 (Sniper), Doki Doki Literature Club (Monika), Jojo's Bizzare Adventure (Kakyoin)

Yes, I was in the TF2 fandom. I barely played the game but I usually played as Medic when I did. I also realize that as I type this out, this might have been the original old men thing. Or at least, some of the oldest. I drew them a lot, and I wrote a fic that I orphaned some years later out of shame. It had a werewolf in it for some reason, and was multiple chapters. Although each chapter was only about 1000 words, compared to my current long-term multichapter fic which easily have 2000+ a chapter. Well, aside from that, I don't know why I liked Sniper the most. He throws piss in bottle and I will say, piss is something I avoid if I can. It's in my muted words somewhere.

I never personally played DDLC. I did watch playthrough of it, and seeing people's reactions to some of the stuff was always enjoyable. Yes, Monika was my favorite, and still is. I can't say with certainty why she is, but maybe I just found her the most interesting out of all the characters. This fandom I remember drawing for because this is where one of my OCs originated from, although that character I am only really remembering as I type this out, despite repurposing her.

JJBA. I cannot say that I look back at my time here happily. This is probably where I first started learning about the current state of fandom (ie, Not Good) and getting a bit of personal experience with it. At the time, I did enjoy it. I enjoyed talking in a ship server (A) about it, and another general server (B) about it. It was great and all, until A started blowing up. Which wouldn't be a problem if it didn't have a blacklist of topics that anyone could add to. They're useful in smaller circles, yes, but in large public servers, most things are going to end up being blacklisted. I remember dresses and "positive talk about mothers" being blacklisted, and eventually I got too anxious that I would say something on the blacklist to speak at all. B was okay, and I even tried to get over my fear of talking to strangers in voice chat by joining one during a whiteboard or something similar where everyone draws on the same canvas. I later ended up deleting all 200+ of my messages there and leaving. Why? Because the members of the server did not know the concept of "block and move on." "Scroll away." "Ignore things that you don't like online." A popular artist in the fandom was brought up and the people started trashing on them because of their wedding, which was apparently themed with the favorite JoJo ship. (But honestly, if someone wanted to theme their wedding to a ship I would respect the hell out of them.) The reason I ended up leaving that server was because they started saying stuff like, "It's creepy and weird, because the characters are minors so there's probably something wrong with that person," and implying such things over a JoJo ship of all things. (And, it gets into the territory of the "violent videogames are the cause of vioence" argument. Do you think that because I particularly enjoy using shotguns in videogames because I find them satisfying means that I want to go out and shoot real people with a shotgun? The state of gun control in the US is awful, and if anything, I want less guns.) And, generally, judging things by how "weird" they are rather than whether it harms or helps people is too arbitrary of a measure. Unfortunately, this was far from the last time that I would see serious accusations made on the basis of dumb shit, and now I am doubtful of most callout posts.

Other than that, at least I know all the Jojo references people complain about seeing all the time. Although, now that I'm not into JoJo, I don't actually see that many jokes about it.

Helltaker (Malina) and Weak Hero (Alex)

Malina gets two frames because she unluckily got the one that did not show her face. I can't say I remember much about the Helltaker community, but this was the community that I posted on Reddit to. Since then I have not used Reddit, but it was a good game and people seemed nice, at least from what I remember. Azazel was the one I drew the most, but Malina is a gamer girl, so I chose her for this.

I only remember Weak Hero because I saw that I drew a total of two images for this fandom. I discovered it on Webtoon, and joined a server which I have long since left, and that's all I can remember. Other than that, it was a webtoon with fighting and that's all I can say.

Omori (Omori) and Genshin Impact (Xinyan)

Omori was the first rpgmaker game I actually drew things for, although most of these drawings consisted of Sweetheart. Although I do like Ib and The Witch's House and Corpse Party, I never really went into the fandom. There wasn't much else to it, but the plot of Omori was good and it led me to discover one of my favorite artists, who, unfortunately, has left the internet. I wish them well.

Xinyan is here because she was and still is one of my favorites from the game. I wish she got better treatment from the game, especially gameplay-wise. I haven't drawn much for this game, due to the level of detail on outfits, but I did still play it for two years and read fanfiction for it. Lately I've just been watching videos for the story quest, though. Uninstalling it gave me 50+ GB back of space on my computer. About the Genshin fandom... JoJo may have been my first real bad experience with how online communities are, but this was my first time seeing how widespread it was. Lots of baseless accusations, fighting over headcanons, telling people awful things because they dislike a character... Well, the post that says the best way to enjoy fandom is to enjoy it with a small circle becomes more and more correct.

OC era (Left to Right- Aster @/sepialkali, Lucy @/hattiestgal, Alason @/moonlightguardianmoon, Zion @/sweet-pattycakes, Bisu/Sparrow @/monarch-orien, and Danaus)

For this one I realized that I had leftover blank frames at the end of the animation, and asked my friends for their ocs to fill in. This era lasted a very long time, and started because I discovered Tupperbox. Since then, my characters have become a lot less watered down as I drifted away from roleplay, and most of the things I do with them is just art now. Two of them are getting a sort of visual novel story thing made of them though, if that counts for anything.

Nu:Carnival (Kuya), Stardew Valley (Elliott), Wildfrost (Tusk)

Despite playing this game for a sizeable amount of time, the most I've done for this fandom was read fics and draw an event character once. Somehow, despite the bland gameplay, I have made a habit of continuing to play the game. I used Kuya because he's the only character I consistently roll for.

I first played Stardew Valley a long time ago without mods, and then forgot about it for a few years. When I came back to it earlier this year, I thought it would be funny to install mods that makes characters into crazy yanderes. It was definitely entertaining, although most of them were pretty standard. I will give massive props to whoever made the Elliott one, because they added events and schedule changes and a lot more than just dialogue changes. Anyways, the reason this is here is because I decided, on a whim one day, to start writing a very long fic for Stardew. This was at the beginning of the year, and it is not even halfway through right now. Then I lost interest in the game while retaining an interest in writing the fic, somehow.

Wildfrost I picked up near the beginning of the year. It doesn't have much of a story, and there's little fanart because of that, but the character designs are pretty good. I still play it daily, and Tusk is still a good unit, because it's basically free damage.

Honkai Star Rail (Peepaw Welt), The Greatest Estate Developer (Lloyd), The Coffin of Andy and Leyley (Ashley)

Honkai Star Rail remains on my computer, but I cannot find the energy to open and play it. Each new character becomes its own meta, and the gameplay loop isn't that enjoyable anymore. During the time that I did, however, I had my 50/50s ruined twice by Welt, which is why he is here. Otherwise I would've chosen Tingyun or Yanqing instead. Gameplay aside, I am lucky to have found a good community for this fandom through a ship server, as an almost complete mirror of the previous servers I was in for JoJo. They are what keeps me in the fandom.

TGED was a very short era that lasted for less than a month. During that time, however, I was afflicted by the demons, and drew and even wrote a decent amount (at least for my standards.) Funnily enough, what drove me away from it was the server I was in for it. This fandom is a very small one, and so the server had probably the majority of active fandom members that could speak English. What made me leave was the poor moderation and some immaturity from some members. Links to NSFW fanart was allowed in the same channel as SFW fanart, NSFW conversations wouldn't always be in the NSFW channel... Which, if it was an adults only server, would've been fine, but it is not, and I feel that this server is a genuine safety concern with the NSFW problem.

TCOAAL was a game I watched a playthrough of when it first came out, and then I saw the chaos that happened when it blew up with the release of the second chapter. I personally found it very entertaining, with the way people didn't have a problem with cannibalism and murder and cults until they found out there was an ending with incest, and suddenly the game was a bad game you shouldn't play. Although if you look at the Steam reviews most people don't care because, well, it's only a game. This game also served as a bit of a precursor. I find codependency in ships interesting, but I am only slightly interested in the game. I don't think about it that much, for some reason. Maybe that'll change when more chapters are released.

The S-Classes That I Raised (Han Yoojin)

If you take a quick scroll through my account, you can probably tell that this is my current fandom. Funnily enough, the server that brought me into this was one I joined while trying to get out of TGED. I suppose it only worked because I read it on Webtoon awhile ago. This server is a lot better kept, although maybe it's because it's strictly an 18+ server. As well as that, it's a smaller community within the fandom, because the server's subject is inherently tied to one of the Big Dead Dove topics, so there's a lot less worrying about drama starting over that sort of stuff. To my mutuals, I will not talk about weird dead dove stuff that I'm into unless asked to, so don't worry about it. Some sort of codependency just makes me go crazy. Unfortunately, I was not able to fit him next to another image to make Tumblr make him smaller, and had to remove one of Malina's frames to fit the 30 image limit.

If any of my friends are reading all the way down to here, thanks! I'm very lucky to have you guys as friends, and I hope we can stay friends for a long time.

#fandom #stock dancing

20 notes · View notes

anmylica · 2 months

Text

I’m finally back with a whopper of a tale. Please make sure to heed the trigger warnings with this one. This is not a HEA type of story. I had to write it out as a way of processing what happened and as a way of channeling my grief.

Eight months ago I went through the worst experience of my life to date. It’s taken me this long to pen this story out after dealing with PTSD, grief, and all the healing that comes with an experience like this. This is not beta’d. I have no idea if I will ever edit this. I just had to get it out of my head.

I used Emma and Killian as vessels for the experience I had as a coping mechanism. Emma’s thoughts and feelings and reactions are all my own, written out as a problem for the Savior to solve. Please note that there is no Savior to this story. I changed a few scenes and added a few scenes to help this story make sense as a narrative. Where it didn’t make sense, I left out some of the more nuanced details of what I went through. For the most part, the majority of this fic was written within the month or two after my experience. This was the months of November and December of 2023, though my story actually starts in September.

I do have a second installment of this fic planned and in the works. Emma’s HEA depends upon my own experience, though. I haven’t gotten to cross the finish line yet, and I won’t until December of this year (so long as everything keeps going well). The next installment should come in early 2025 if all goes as planned.

The story will begin under the break to allow those of you who would be triggered by this to skip it if you wish.

No tags due to the Trigger Warning below.

TRIGGER WARNING: pregnancy, pregnancy loss, miscarriage, missed miscarriage, menstrual cycles, mentions of periods and its associations, family planning, death, minor character death

The decision to add to their family came easy for Emma and Killian once the anxiety and apprehension eased away after the conclusion of the Final Battle and the Black Fairy’s defeat. In the weeks after, both of them spent countless hours in Dr. Hopper’s office, trying to work through the lingering effects of their shared Dark One experience, the subsequent death of Killian and traumatizing trip to the Underworld, and the most recent event of Emma’s death and resurrection after the Black Fairy’s machinations. All in all, the trauma and stress left behind by these experiences finally came to the surface. The peace brought them both the comfort and relative safety they needed to lay aside their demons once and for all.

Bit by bit they began to heal. Emma’s nightmares began to lessen in frequency until she had more nights of restful sleep than fitful ones. Killian began to be able to let Emma out of his sight for longer and longer periods until they were suddenly splitting shifts at the station, her on the occasional days and him on nights. They even hired a couple more deputies to split the workload once David finally left his role to begin farming as he had once always thought he would. Slowly, life began to settle down and their own traumas, though never gone completely, began to affect less and less of their lives.

One day, just after Henry had gone to bed after their weekly movie night as a family (which existed mostly to make Killian learn more pop culture, an explanation that Henry took shameless advantage of as an excuse to rewatch all of his favorites), Emma turned and gave her husband a sappy smile.

Killian chuckled. “What?”

Emma shrugged. “Nothing.”

Killian gave her a knowing look. “You have something on your mind. What is it?”

Emma didn’t say anything. She bit her lip as if thinking over her words. Killian just looked at her patiently. He knew if he waited long enough she would open up to him. He just needed patience.

“What would you say to maybe having a baby one day?”

Whatever Killian had been expecting, it definitely wasn’t that. He blinked and blinked.

“I don’t mean, like, right now. I just mean… someday. As a possibility for the future.” Emma picked at the blanket she was curled up in absentmindedly, dropping her gaze in a transparent attempt at being nonchalant while caring very deeply about his answer.

Killian swallowed. He hadn’t ever wanted to assume, but part of the reason he had chosen this house for them, and not some other smaller, less grand affair, had been because he had hoped that they could have this one day. He loved Henry as if the boy were his own, but he couldn’t help something deep inside that longed for a child of his making with his true love.

“I’d be delighted,” he replied.

Emma looked up at him with a bright smile on her face. “Really?”

Killian smiled softly, his gaze communicating to her what he wasn’t saying with words. “I can’t imagine that we could possibly have a more grand adventure together than becoming parents again.”

Emma leaned in and gave him a soft kiss that he returned. After moments it grew more heated and passionate in the wake of their mutual decision to someday expand their family. After another moment, Emma pulled away slightly.

“What do you think about how?” she asked

“Now?” Killian echoed.

“Well, not literally now. I mean why wait? Why shouldn’t we start trying in the now? I’m ready.”

“You are?” Killian asked, causing Emma to giggle.

“Yes. That is, if you want to.”

Killian gave her a smoldering look as he very deliberately let his gaze travel up the length of her body. She was wearing a very loose set of sweatpants and an oversized tee shirt, but that didn’t stop him from putting a little bit more emphasis on his lascivious gaze, one that was vaguely reminiscent of the one he had turned on her at the top of the beanstalk. She laughed as she watched his antics, amused and giddy.

“I very much want to, Emma. I’m sure you could tell for yourself how much.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “I promise, I don’t need to feel it. I know how you are.”

Killian chuckled. “How soon will be be able to try in earnest, my love?”

“My last pill was today. As soon as my cycle comes back this month,” she responded, toying with his hook as she did so.

Killian smirked. “Then we have plenty of time to practice.”

He stood and swept her up in his arms, making her giggle at his eager roughness. He took the stairs as fast as he could, and it wasn’t much longer before they were wholeheartedly engaged in their “practice.”

The next couple of weeks passed at a snail’s pace. They didn’t share what they were going to try with their friends and families, figuring that they wouldn’t mention it until they had some news to mention. Besides, it added a thrill to their couplings in these next days, this secret between them. Emma started taking a prenatal vitamin and counting days, using ovulation strips and tracking her basal body temperature.

Though there was some instinct that told her they might have needed to wait a little while longer before trying, she brushed it off as anxiety. There was no reason for her to think that she would have any problems now given that she had had Henry so easily and completely by accident. She reassured herself that everything was going to go right once more. The major difference was this time she had her husband there beside her. He wouldn’t leave her unless by pain of death (and if he did that she’d just get Henry to write her up a portal to Mount Olympus and demand that Zeus bring Killian back anyway). Everything was going to go perfect.

Alas, four weeks later, they didn’t get the end result they both had hoped for. The pregnancy test the day before her missed period was negative, and her period followed right on time the next day.

“It’s alright, love. There’s always next month,” Killian told her as she held her head in her hands.

She knew he was right, and though it stung, she picked herself up and continued with life and their plans. This just allowed them another month to continue taking the vitamins and have more fun trying.

This next cycle began much the same as the previous one. A new month meant more cycle tracking, more temperature measuring, more ovulation tests. More vitamins, which Emma was starting to loathe having to take. But somehow, in spite of those things, Emma just knew.

This month was that month.

They timed their relations perfectly. Killian kept asking her if she felt any different. Emma just shrugged and said she didn’t know, but instinctively, she did. She felt different. It was nothing tangible at first, just a gut feeling. But then, exactly seven days later, she felt a slight lurch of nausea.

It lasted just long enough to catch her attention, but not long enough to cause her to want to be sick. She clasped her hand over her mouth, partly in shock at the sensation and partly out of disgust for the brief urge to vomit, wondering all the while if the feeling was all in her head. Killian had been sitting at another desk inside the station when he looked at her in concern.

“Are you alright, love?” he asked.

Emma shook her head. “I don’t know,” she answered, her voice muffled by her hand. “I just felt like I needed to throw up, but then it passed.”

Killian raised his eyebrows in interest. “Do you think we were successful?”

“I don’t know. Ask me in a couple more days. It may just be my imagination,” Emma said, removing her hand from her mouth. She felt right as rain again.

But it wasn’t her imagination. She knew deep down it wasn’t. And with that knowledge came a deep rooted fear that something was wrong. She shrugged off the feeling, thinking it was just nerves, but then her vision began changing, blurring in a way she had never felt before. Still, Emma suppressed her anxiety, trying to convince herself that nothing she was experiencing was out of the norm. Besides, if she mentioned that she thought something was wrong, Killian would just worry needlessly. He came from a world in which women died everyday of complications from childbirth, and her mentioning her fears would just bring his fear of losing her back, and then they both would be basket cases. There couldn’t be anything wrong with this pregnancy. She wouldn’t let it. She made sure to take all the prenatal vitamins and extras of choline and magnesium and other types that the prenatal didn’t have high amounts of. She made sure to drink very little caffeine and drank only water throughout the day (though water was beginning to make her feel sicker than ever). She didn’t take long, luxuriously hot baths anymore.

Everything was going to be fine.

Finally, two days after her missed period, she took the pregnancy test she had bought. Then, she took two more. Finally, she took one of the digital tests.

They all were positive. In all her life she would never forget the look of happiness on Killian’s face when she showed him that the pregnancy was confirmed three times.

“We have to tell Henry,” she told him once they had gotten their emotions better under control.

Killian nodded, wholeheartedly in agreement. “We’ll tell him this evening.”

The rest of the day passed in a daze for them both. Between completing their duties at the station they ruminated on whether this baby would be a boy or a girl, what the birthday would be, and they volleyed ideas for the nursery back and forth.

“I think a Neverland theme would be so cute,” Emma mentioned. She looked up at Killian through her lashes, not wanting to miss his reaction. He did not disappoint.

He visibly cringed and grimaced. “You want darkness and jungle?” he questioned disbelievingly.

Emma sighed and rolled her eyes, exaggerating her annoyance. “No. I want the Disney movie version. You know, with the kids, and the pixie dust, and the Jolly Roger flying across the moon.”

Killian gave her an unimpressed look. “If you want that, we could just do a nautical theme. No need to bring that bloody demon into the nursery.”

Emma laughed. “Just think about it as a possibility, okay?”

Killian sighed and nodded glumly. Though he had strong opinions about the idea, he knew that Emma would probably end up getting her way. No need to pick a fight about it if he didn’t have to. Besides, he pondered as he turned back to the report he was writing, he could always be sure to inject more pirate themed wares inside it and turn the attention away from the fact that it was Neverland.

“Besides,” Emma began slyly, looking at him from the corner of her eye, “think about how cute stuffed crocodiles would be for the mobile above the crib.”

Killian slammed his pen down and stood up. “I’m going to get coffee from Granny’s.”

Emma laughed as he left in a huff without saying anything. Sometimes he was too easy to rile up. Just as she glanced past the window, her vision blurred once again in a strange way that only happened on the rare occasion she developed a migraine. She experienced an aura with those, and she noticed this was very similar. Her vision seemed to dull in spots and sharpen in others, and an instinctual fear streaked down her spine. She reached into a drawer in her desk and pulled out the Tylenol and took two in a hurry, hoping that that would be enough to stave off the impending migraine. After about twenty minutes, the vision change went away with no trace of a headache, and Emma promptly forgot her concerns as she answered an incoming call.

The rest of their day passed without mention of Neverland or crocodiles, stuffed or otherwise. Emma was surprised that the rest of the afternoon was uneventful, but she liked Storybrooke best that way. She smiled as she climbed the steps to her house, thinking fondly of her memories of her time in the town. Though many bad times happened, there were a lot of good times too, and she couldn’t wait to see what good times would come from this next adventure.

She leaned against the railing, picturing a baby swing beside the rocking chairs on the porch, swaying to and fro as she sat beside the bundle drinking coffee. The more she envisioned that future, the more she wanted it. She had never wanted anything more than that (really, she had never allowed herself to want anything more). Emma couldn’t wait to see Henry as a big brother and see Killian as a father. Her heart soared at the anticipation of it all.

As she stood gazing at her front porch, she tried to repress the sudden anxiety that had continued to sweep her since she suspected she was pregnant. As the sun began to creep towards the horizon, her vision changed again, and Emma sighed. She rolled her eyes and went inside, quickly locating the Tylenol again and taking two more. Killian walked in with Henry, and she turned and smiled at them.

The trio prepared dinner and as they sat at the kitchen table to eat, Emma experienced some pretty intense cramping. She knew this was considered normal, so she didn’t think anything of it. But it was very sharp for some reason, and almost like her period was about to start.

“Mom?” Henry asked, catching Emma’s attention. “You alright?”

“Fine,” she responded. “Just had some cramping.”

Henry waved his hand as if to stop her. “I don’t want to know. TMI,” he said. Killian chuckled at his antics.

“You might want to know about this, kid,” Emma replied, smiling in amusement. “Killian and I have some news.”

Henry frowned and looked at his mother in concern, tilting his head as he regarded her. “What news?”

Killian and Emma shared a look, and Henry’s frown grew deeper.

“You’re going to have a little brother or sister in about eight more months,” Emma said, no longer able to keep her grin from her face. She watched as Henry’s face lit up with glee.

“Are you for real?” he asked.

Emma nodded. “Yep, for real for real.”

Henry shouted and jumped up to give his mother a bear hug. Killian laughed.

“Are you excited, my boy?” Killian asked.

“This is the best news ever!” Henry exclaimed, his voice muffled against her shoulder. Finally, after a long minute of the bear hug, Henry let go and returned to his place at the table, babbling on a mile a minute about all his plans now that he was to be an older brother. Killian and Emma joined in the conversation with plans of their own, eating and enjoying their time together in this joyous moment.

The cramping continued off and on for the rest of that evening.

Telling her family at the next family dinner brought a similar reaction to Henry’s. Snow squealed as loudly as she could, causing the other patrons of Granny’s to look over in alarm. David was overjoyed as well, but he tried to act as if it didn’t phase him that he was going to be a grandfather again for the second time. Regina and Zelena congratulated them, sharing in the joy of the announcement It wasn’t long before they were all in the throes of planning for a baby shower and planning for the nursery with the mothers all giving Emma tips on the best baby gear that she would need. Through it all, Emma smiled and laughed, not mentioning that that morning had brought another debilitating headache that she was now taking extra magnesium to prevent and acetaminophen at exactly 12 noon each day.

These vitamins were on top of the multivitamin she had ordered off Amazon (thank the gods they shipped to Storybrooke, although Emma had no idea how the logistics of that worked). The dosage of the prenatal was already at 8 capsules per day. Once she added extra magnesium and calcium, she was up to 10. It was difficult to take that many at one time, especially with the aftertaste, but she was managing to make it through.

“I definitely want you to get the unicorn mobile back from Gold if it’s a girl,” Snow prattled on, catching Emma’s attention.

Emma smiled and nodded, reaching down to massage her stomach as the abdominal cramping started back up. She was a bit worried, but she didn’t say anything to anyone as the conversation continued around her.

“I will when the time comes, Mom,” Emma responded. “Right now I’m more interested in the first doctor’s appointment and getting to hear the heartbeat and see the baby on the ultrasound!”

“Ultrasound?” Killian asked, and Zelena started talking about the ultrasound she had gotten to have during her pregnancy with Robyn with Killian staring in amazement at her explanation.

Snow smiled at her daughter, causing Emma to smile back. She reached for her daughter’s hand, and Emma took it gratefully, thankful that she had finally found her family after so many years of searching. Having them made all of this easier to bear, the fear and anxiety, the excitement, all of it… She knew that she was going to be fine no matter what happened, so long as she had her family by her side.

After what seemed like an agonizingly long wait in which the symptoms that had worried Emma kept going, the day for the ultrasound finally arrived. Emma had had horrible morning sickness for the past couple of weeks, worse than it had been with Henry, and she had called about two weeks prior to this day to get some sort of anti nausea medicine since nothing else she had tried worked. She had run out a couple of days before, and she felt awful. (It concerned her that the nausea wasn’t quite as sharp as it had been prior to starting the medicine, but she chalked that up to being closer to twelve weeks and the end of the first trimester.) Her cramping had eased off, and her headaches had eased off as well, which Emma was grateful for, but those symptoms easing were also slightly worrying. Honestly, Emma was just glad that the first doctor’s visit was today so she could finally relax and quit worrying over every little thing.

Emma didn’t let go of Killian’s hand until she had to undress for the ultrasound after their arrival at the doctor’s office, needing his physical support too much to consider letting go. Thankfully, the myriad of curses had improved the medical care available, and her doctor was a woman who had been a midwife back in the Enchanted Forest. Emma was secretly glad that she wouldn’t have to rely on Whale to deliver her baby, after all. If it weren’t for the effects on the town line still being unpredictable, she would have contemplated leaving Storybrooke for prenatal care if she had had to settle for Dr. Frankenstein.

She settled in to wait, chatting with Killian about what he could expect to see and what the experience would be like. She kept an excited smile on her face, eager to see this new life and absolutely certain that everything was going well in this pregnancy thus far. Her symptoms had been very different from her pregnancy with Henry, in some ways much more intense, but they were all supposed to be there, so she had tried not to worry too much.

They didn’t have to wait long. Dr. Mab came in along with a nurse after a few minutes.

“Well, congratulations!” she said. “According to the date of your last period you should be eight weeks and five days, correct?”

Emma nodded, beaming at the doctor. “I think my due date is January 19th. It’s Killian’s birthday, so it’ll be exciting to see if that calculation is correct.”

“Is it?” Dr. Mab responded as she gloved up. “We’ll have to make sure that’s right, then. That would be an excellent birthday present!”

The doctor got in place at the ultrasound machine with the nurse poised to take notes at the counter behind them. Emma and Killian clasped hands, both staring at the screen in excitement.

Finally, the screen activated and a picture of their baby was visible. Killian sucked in a hard breath, clearly in awe at the experience. Emma beamed at the sight.

‘It looks a lot like Henry did as a baby,’ she thought, just as soon as another observation occurred to her. ‘Why is it so small?’

The baby was much smaller at this point than Henry had been. Emma could make out the parts of the baby that would become the legs and arms, but they didn’t look as developed as she had seen when she was pregnant with Henry. She frowned and glanced at Dr. Mab. The woman had a frown on her face, as if in intense concentration. Emma blinked and looked back at the screen.

‘Where was the heartbeat?’ She thought. ‘It should be picking up the heartbeat by now.’

Killian leaned closer to Emma and muttered something that Emma couldn’t make out. It was as if she had entered a tunnel and nothing, no sound or light or color, could penetrate the darkness surrounding her. Her heart dropped.

Dr. Man took a breath. “Okay, so it looks like the baby is measuring at exactly six weeks,” she said as she completed the measurement. “Which is a concern since you’re supposed to be just over eight weeks along according to the date of your last period. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing; you could have just ovulated later than you thought. But I’m having trouble finding a heartbeat right now, which isn’t good.”

At the confirmation, Emma heaved a sob. Dr. Mab’s nurse, Amy, came and placed her hand on Killian’s shoulder in an effort to comfort them.

“I beg your pardon. I don’t understand,” Killian said, looking between the doctor and Emma.

“Well, it could mean nothing. This machine may just not be picking up the heartbeat for some reason. Or the heart might need another day or so to start beating. We know that the heart starts beating at around five weeks and six days, but this is a guideline, not a rule.” She gave a sympathetic glance to Emma, who had by this point quieted her cries but still had tears streaming down her face.

“So what exactly are you saying?” Killian pressed.

“We need to run more tests to make sure this is a viable pregnancy. At this point, it could just be that you conceived a little later than you thought. But you see this right here?” Dr. Mab drew a circle around a spot on the screen just down from and beside the baby’s leg buds that formed a white semicircle on the ultrasound. “See this bubble looking object on the sonogram? This is a concern for me. This means that you’ll be considered high risk if this pregnancy continues to develop normally. We don’t really know what this is. We just know it’s not supposed to be here.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know what it is?” Emma asked.

Dr. Mab shrugged. “It’s… an anomaly that isn’t supposed to be there. It’s like a bubble of some sort. All we know for sure is it’s not a good sign.”

“Well, what now?” Emma asked, the tears coming to a temporary stop as she moved into hero mode. She couldn’t break down and give in to despair if there was something she could do to prevent what the doctor was saying was happening right as they were speaking.

“You come back in for a blood test in two days to see if your levels go up like they should. We’re going to take blood samples today to establish a baseline, and I want you to come in on Monday for an ultrasound to confirm that a heartbeat isn’t there, because like I said, it just may need a couple more days to become detectable. Once we know what your levels are, we can go from there.”

Dr. Mab looked sympathetically from Emma to Killian, giving them a moment to process what she had said. “Do you have any questions?”

Killian and Emma shared a devastated glance that let the other know that they were exactly on the same page.

“I don't even know what to ask,” Emma whispered brokenly, her voice cracking under the emotional strain of having to hold back the flood gates.

Dr. Mab nodded understandingly. “Go home and think about it, and when you do have questions, and you will, call us and we’ll be here to answer them. Once again, I am very sorry for the news.”

Dr. Mab opened the door and stepped out, closing it with a click, the sound deafening in the silence and the weight of a future that had just ceased to be. Emma grasped Killian’s hook as hard as she could, the quickly warming metal the most grounding thing in the room. As she struggled to breathe, she felt something within her crack and splinter and shift. Though she was a princess of the Enchanted Forest in the Land of Fairy Tales and Magic, it was clear that she was as far away from the world of Happy Endings in Storybrooke as she had always been.

The rest of the evening passed in a blur. Emma moved as if in a daze, and Killian (in all his ability to read her like the open book he always said she was) took over the responsibility of getting them through the hardships to come. Family members had to be called, shifts at the station had to be covered, and meals needed to be cooked.

All Emma could do was lie in bed, alternating between emotional numbness and intense waves of sadness that resulted in gut wrenching sobs. Killian took over everything that night, from calling her parents and telling them the horrible news to making sure Emma at least had some type of food available to her. Of course, she barely ate anything.

Henry was there when they got back from the doctor’s visit. Emma had called him frantically once they got out of the building.

“Come on, kid, pick up,” she had muttered as she spammed the call button again and again in the parking lot. She had done a decent job of holding her tears at bay up until the moment she heard Henry’s voice.

“It’s about time,” she uttered out as she started to cry. “Listen, kid, I need you to tell Regina you need to stay with me tonight. Tell her I’ll switch a day or whatever. I just need to have you near me.”

Killian had listened in a stupor as Emma explained that she was likely miscarrying the baby, but they wouldn’t be able to confirm it for several days. He hadn’t been able to believe it.

After that conversation, Henry had explained to Regina what was happening and came home immediately. Thankfully, Emma and Regina’s co-parenting situation had gotten to the point where they could peacefully agree on time spent with whom, and Regina had understood Emma’s need for her firstborn to be by her side.

Upon walking up the steps to the porch, Henry had come out and Emma had latched onto him. She held him tightly for several long minutes as she cried. Henry cried a bit with her, and Killian clapped his stepson on the shoulder and went inside. Emma and Henry had followed soon after.

Hours later, Henry and Emma lay on her bed. Henry put on “The Princess Bride,” and tried to cajole his mother to eat every now and then.

Emma finally fell into a fitful sleep after another crying jag. She had muttered to Henry right before succumbing to exhaustion. “This just can’t be happening.”

Henry and Killian shared a helpless glance as Henry got up and headed to his own room and his own bed.

The next morning dawned no better. Snow made sure to come over as soon as she could to comfort her daughter. Killian made a pot of Emma’s favorite tea and then went to visit with his father-in-law and brother-in-law. Henry was off at school, though he griped about having to go.

Snow sipped her tea as Emma recounted all that the doctor had told her. When Emma finished, she asked, “So there is a possibility that everything could be fine?”

Emma nodded. “I got the feeling that it was a long shot though.”

“But there’s still a chance!”

Emma shrugged. “Maybe. But I don’t have a good feeling. I think I’ve lost it.”

Snow squared her shoulders. “Well, there’s still hope! We’ll have to manifest it through our thoughts.”

Emma said nothing in response, instead sipping from her mug.

“How is Killian taking the news?”

“He’s upset, but he’s trying to make sure I’m alright. I think he’s trying to put his feelings aside for now.”

Snow frowned. “That’s not healthy. He needs to lean on you.”

Emma nodded. She had been caught up in how she had been feeling, but she had tried to make sure he knew that she was there for him. “He knows. I think he just needs time to process it. I think I do too. I keep thinking that this is just a dream and I’ll wake up from it any moment now.”

“I can’t imagine what you’re feeling. I never actually lost any pregnancies. I lost my kids after they were born.”

Emma took her mother’s hand. “You got us both back, though.”

Snow smiled and squeezed her daughter's hand in return. “Yes, I did. At any rate, I don’t want you to blame yourself for any of this. It’s not your fault.”

Emma teared up again, sniffling and closing her eyes against the reminder. Even though she had been told this several times by several people, she didn’t really believe it. She had had a bad feeling, after all, about conceiving before she had even conceived. Who’s fault could it be if it wasn’t hers? And she was the Savior! What kind of savior was she if she couldn’t even save the life of her unborn child? It just wasn’t fair.

“I mean,” Snow continued softly, knowing that Emma wouldn’t believe her but needing to say it anyway, “some things just happen. There’s nothing anyone can do.”

Emma sniffed and wiped her eyes.

“I don’t even think magic could fix this,” Snow continued. “I don’t know of anyone that was successful at using it in these instances, at any rate.” She shrugged helplessly, missing Emma’s expression change from heartbroken to suddenly fierce and determined.

“Maybe there’s a first time for everything.”

Snow frowned. “What do you mean?”

Emma smiled a tremulous smile. “Maybe there is hope after all. I’ve gotta go do something. I’ll see you later.”

Emma got up and went to get Killian, who wiped away his tears as soon as he saw her. David wiped away his own. Emma didn’t tell either of them her plans, but Killian followed her and David and Snow let them go.

“Do you know what that was about?” David asked as he watched Emma and Killian drive away in her yellow bug.

“I have no idea. I guess we’ll find out,” Snow responded. The two of them got into her car and drove home, baby Neal strapped up tight in his car seat.

As Snow and David made their way home, Emma drove like a bat out of hell towards town. Killian tried several times to ask her where they were going, but Emma just responded, “We’re going to find hope.” He resolved to sit back and wait and see what it was that Emma had planned.

He became even more confused when Emma pulled up in front of Gold’s Pawn Shop. He frowned.

‘What does she want with the Crocodile?’ he thought as he followed her into the shop.

Emma burst through the door of Gold’s pawn shop, her hair flying behind her in her haste with a look of desperate determination on her face. Killian followed more sedately behind, a look of concern on his.

“Gold! I want a word!” she shouted. Neither had to wait long for the pawnbroker to make his appearance.

He came through the curtain in his usual dark three piece suit. Belle followed behind him dressed rather comfortably (considering her usual fashion choices) in a loose dress and flats.

“I see you people still haven’t learned that this is a place of business,” he drawled. “Unless you have something to sell, I’m not interested.”

Emma leaned against the counter. “I need magic,” she said, ignoring his dig at her.

Rumple laughed. “What could the Savior need with my magic that she couldn’t do for herself?”

Emma’s gaze hardened. “I need to save my child.”

Rumple didn’t react for a moment. Finally he blinked and glanced at his long time enemy. Killian stood behind Emma, his eyes closed in dread at the realization of what she was here for. When he opened them, he met Rumple’s gaze steadily, pleading with him silently. Belle looked between Emma, Rumple, and Killian, clearly confused and wondering.

“I take it you don’t mean Henry.” Rumple squared his shoulders and turned his gaze back upon Emma.

“No,” Emma agreed. She didn’t add anything to her response.

Rumple took a deep breath. “What is it that you want me to do, exactly?”

Emma looked down in consideration of her words for a moment. “Save him. Stop the miscarriage. I’ll pay any price you want.” She looked up at the man who had been her foe more times than she could count and waited.

Belle gasped a loud breath at Emma’s words, but Emma paid her no mind. Killian shifted behind her, sharing a look of despair with Belle but otherwise made no intervention. He wouldn’t take away Emma’s choice in this, no matter how much it killed him to hear her rely on his worst enemy for help.

Rumple stared at Emma. Finally, he shook his head. “I won’t make that deal.”

Emma blinked. “What?”

Rumple shook his head again and repeated himself. “I won’t make that deal.”

“Why not?” Emma demanded, a look of indignation developing on her face.

“Because the price for that magic is too high.”

Emma scoffed. “Now you’re going to refuse making deals? After the countless deals you’ve made to screw other people over?”

Rumple glared at her. “You made me a hero, Miss Swan. Surely you didn’t think some of those lessons you taught wouldn’t stick?”

Emma laughed hollowly. “What you mean is you can’t do it,” she sneered.

“Oh, I can do it. It’s not a question of the magic, dearie,” Rumple sneered back.

“Then what is it? Why won’t you do this for me?”

Rumple placed a hand on the counter and considered it for a moment. “It’s the price. The price for that magic is too high.”

“I’ll pay you anything!” Emma cried, her voice breaking. “Anything at all! All I’m asking is for you to stop this miscarriage from happening. Surely that’s a price worth paying?”

Rumple began shaking his head long before she finished her question. “The price for your baby’s life is your own. You have to give up your life to save its life. It’s a one for one trade.”

Killian gasped and reeled back as if he had been hit. Belle covered her mouth in shock. Emma blinked as if she couldn’t comprehend Rumple’s words.

“That’s some of the darkest magic, Emma. It’s the same that Bae used to resurrect me in the Enchanted Forest after Pan’s curse, just in a different form.” Rumple shook his head. “I won’t make that deal.”

Emma swallowed hard. Tears pooled in her eyes

“So that’s it then? Just like that?” Emma gave a harsh, short laugh, her voice with unshed tears. “I’m the Savior, but I can’t even save my own child! You of all people should know what that’s like, but you won’t help me do it!!” Her voice became harsh with the emotions she felt, hopelessness and despair turning into misplaced anger at the Dark One.

Rumple gave no reaction to her anger other than to sigh, his brow furrowed in an intense glare.

“Your job is to save, yes,” he began, ignoring her attempts at manipulating him into giving her the thing she wanted but didn’t need. “But sometimes the only person a Savior needs to save is himself. Sacrificing yourself for a pregnancy and a child that might already be gone is foolish and foolhardy. And you are neither of those things.”

Emma snarled and pushed off from the counter, turning on her heel and racing out, tears just beginning to fall down her face. Killian took a deep breath and turned to follow his wife when Belle stopped him.

“I’m so sorry, Killian. For you both,” she said softly.

“Thank you, lass. I appreciate the sentiment.” Killian glanced at Gold and gave a small nod.

“You’re welcome, Captain,” Rumple stated, waving off Hook’s unspoken words of gratitude. “I owe her a greater debt than I think she realizes. I’m sorry to repay her this way.”

“Not to sound contrary, but I’m glad you did. I’m sure in time, she’ll understand and be grateful as well.”

“Let us know if there is anything else we can do for you,” Belle added, and Killian nodded and walked out of the pawnshop to follow his wife. Knowing Emma, she had run somewhere along the coast, seeking refuge and solace within the sea, just as he himself had done centuries ago after losing both his brother and his first love.

Killian didn’t have far to go to find her. She was sitting on the docks just in front of the Jolly Roger, gazing unseeing at the horizon.

“If you want, Swan, we can take her out for a while. Get away,” he said softly as he came up to her, staying back a few feet in case she needed to have a moment to herself.

Emma shook her head. “I don’t want to go too far just in case something happens.”

He fell silent, and after a moment she held her hand out to him and he took it, sitting beside her on the dock. She rested her head against his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured into the night.

“For what?” Killian asked, looking at her in concern.

“For losing the baby. For not being able to do the one thing my body is supposed to do correctly.”

Killian watched as tears traced her cheeks, a small hint at the anguish and turmoil that she was going through. As much as it hurt him, he couldn’t begin to imagine how much it was hurting her at the moment. He reached up and wiped away the tears.

“It’s not your fault,” he said firmly. “You did everything you could. Sometimes it’s not right, and this is the way your body has to protect itself. I could have been the reason this is happening. I am some three hundred years old love,” he added when he saw her getting ready to protest. “This is something we’ll get through together.”

“But what if I don’t get my second chance? What if you don’t get to be a father?” she whispered, and Killian knew he had stumbled upon her truest, deepest fear.

He kissed her softly before giving his response. “Then this is enough for me. You’re my happy ending, darling, not a child. You. And I don’t think this is the only chance we’ll have. It’s going to happen for us. I promise. When the time is right, we’ll get to add to our family.”

Emma didn’t respond. She just held him tighter as they watched the waves crash on the horizon.

In the end, the decision of what to do was simple. Emma underwent a dilation and curettage the day after her missed miscarriage was confirmed. She calmly signed the forms she needed, registered for surgery, and gave over her insurance information. The next morning, she, Killian, and her mom arrived at Storybrooke General and the pre-surgery preparations began smoothly.

Emma lay still in the bed. Snow and Killian carried a stilted conversation about things that didn’t particularly matter, just filling the silence and every now and again glancing at her worriedly. She ignored them, opting to sit in her thoughts as the television droned softly in the background.

After some time, a knock sounded on the door. A nurse came in cheerfully and began to set up her IV. Emma laughed and smiled at the words the nurse spoke, but later, it would all be a blur in her memory.

“Bloody hell,” Killian muttered as he watched the needle being inserted. “What’s this for?”

Emma smiled a hollow, exhausted smile. “It’s to provide fluids and medications during surgery. It’s supposed to help it run more smoothly.”

“It’s normal in this world, Killian,” Snow added. “The medicines here make a difference.” Killian nodded, watching with wary eyes at each new step.

Eventually, Emma was brought a couple of different pain killers to swallow and a third was added to her IV. Before much longer, she was wheeled into the area for anesthesia. She smiled softly at her husband and her mom as she rolled down the hall. She was just ready to get it over with.

Get it over with, indeed. The procedure ended up only taking about fifteen minutes once she had been wheeled into the OR, not that Emma realized that fact. Emma groggily opened her eyes and blinked against the light shining above her. She felt as if it had been no time at all since she had been in this room, even as it felt like hours later. That was the joy of anesthesia, she supposed.

As she looked at her surroundings, she noticed two things. One: she was cramping badly as if her period had started. Two: she didn’t feel any nausea or other signs of the pregnancy that hadn’t been meant to be. Her womb, which had felt full of life before(even if the baby were no longer living), now felt empty and bereft in spite of the pain.

A rustling noise from beside her gained her attention. She turned her head to see one of the orderlies beside her flipping through a file of papers.

“Oh, it’s good to see you awake,” he said. “You came out of the procedure a little while ago. Everything went well.”

Emma took a breath. “So I’m not pregnant any more?”

He shook his head. “No, you’re not.”

Emma turned her head and took several gulping breaths as he confirmed what she already knew and was aware of even in her addled state. The breaths just stuttered in her lungs as the tears began to fall and wracking sobs began. The orderly awkwardly closed her file soon after and quickly left to do whatever it was he needed to do next, leaving Emma all alone in her grief.

This just made Emma cry harder. All she wanted was her baby back safe. All she wanted was to be home, away from the cold desolation of the recovery room. All she wanted was to be the old her that had never known the loss and heartbreak that came with losing a child. All she wanted was Killian and Henry and her parents. She just couldn’t stop crying long enough to articulate any of this out loud.

As Emma tried to get her emotions under control, she came to the realization that she had truly never known the depths to which loneliness could sink. She had thought her life as the orphan-turned-prodigal-daughter had been lonely. She had even thought there was no worse pain than the kind that came from deciding that her son would be better growing up without her and making the choice to give him up (but really it was the only choice, for what could have been the alternative at the time for a seventeen year old in jail with no support or family?). She had thought there was no worse a kind of heartbreak than when she had had to say goodbye for what she had thought was to be the last time to Killian in that elevator in the Underworld, but this experience was by far worse than any of the others she had had.

Emma didn’t see how she would ever be able to move past this.

#once upon a time #captain swan #trigger warning: miscarriage

6 notes · View notes