#after like 2 years of not watching sanders sides very much

[the-sanders-sides]

im getting slightly back into sanders sides again and oml i love logan sm <3 my guy. my teach. my one and only.

[finalfrontierpublishing]

The Lightness of You // This Soul Outstreaming - a @rendherring duology

The entire origin for this bind was because I was extremely excited to use my newly purchased legal paper and I had wanted to make a tête-bêche quarto - and I just had so many feelings about Good Omens after watching the second season and I needed very much to bind something that is my love letter to Good Omens and express ALL MY FEELINGS ABOUT THOSE TWO LOVEABLE IDIOTS.

Stats:

36055 words || 153 pages

Body text: EB Garamond 11 point

Accents: Alchemist Serif font

I bound these two little fics written by the same author (in 2019, so they are spoiler-free fics), of which they are opposing points of view but also are slightly different stories. I mainly used the character point of views to guide a lot of my design choices.

did quite a few new things with this bind: a tête-bêche, also a quarto! a legal quarto! plus edge gilding! and a half-bind which i have legitly not done since my first bind 1 year ago.

the tête-bêche is a trial run for an author copy - and thankfully is easier than expected.

i chose decorative papers (renato crepaldi, because i have a Stash) that specifically gave me aziraphale and crowley vibes - and leaned into the elements of light and dark, contrast and harmony, while matching it with forest floor colibri. AGAIN PLANT VIBES, JUST BECAUSE.

I kept my typesetting very classic - a) because i wanted to speed bind this (which i did in 2 days) and b) because i wanted to preserve old book vibes. i also practiced++++ and took the electric sander for a whirl because by god i was going to get some foiled/gilded edges on this bind so it would look like a fancy pancy book Aziraphale would covet for his shelf. this is my third attempt at sanding and gilding and it's still a little patchy - not perfect enough yet for a consistent result but i hope to get there one day and to be able to do foiled edges for author copies, hopefully soon. i would say despite the patchiness, it looks pretty fucking fancy and i really liked how it turned out.

Endpapers are the same papers on the cover but on the contralateral endpaper sides, which is a great contrast and an amazing idea from @pleasantboatpress because i was befuddled by Options.

For the endbands, i took inspiration from @celestial-sphere-press's recent beautiful gradient endbands, but leaned more with the usage of sunlight breaking through the contrast of light and darkness, for Aziraphale's side, while Crowley's side is done with green, black and gold because PLANTS. i stitched the main textblock with lovely variegated galaxy thread (IFYKYK :)) hand-dyed by @pleasantboatpress.

i actually really like how the bind came together and i'm rather proud of its simplicity and how intentional it feels as a bind, design-wise. every design choice was done with love, for the show, the book, the author, the characters and the fic and i am just FILLED WITH FEELINGS, Y'ALL. i'm not ashamed of them.

my only (small) gripe is my legal paper grain snafu because i am one of those grain purists and i only ever like using the correct grain but despite the textblock being in the wrong grain, it is still a lovely book and my fears were unwarranted, the book lies flat and open (it's not a monster book of monsters, which i had always assumed erroneously was a grain issue) and is still very readable other than a little sticky-outyness of the pages. am also very grateful because paper supplier is replacing it for free (they are legit the nicest).

[l00na24]

I Got Your Six - Chapter 3

Warnings: Mentions of PTSD/ Drugs

Word Count: 8k

A/N: Just a little heads-up that some things will be a bit different than in the film. Frankie also doesn't have a baby in this fic.

This chapter was originally longer cause I went a little overboard (sorry not sorry 😁) so I had to divide it. It took me actually longer than I thought cause some parts were a bit hard to write at first but I hope it still turned out okay and you will like it! 🥰

2 days later, 2 PM, Florida, Tampa

A bell chimed above me when I entered the café Santiago wanted to meet me at.

The whole 2 days before, I had fought with myself if I should really go, if it wasn’t the biggest mistake I could make, to come even close to the deep wounds that hadn’t healed over time. Could I bring myself to dig even deeper in them?

The only convincing argument that persisted was this weird feeling I still had in my gut since I received his text. It was nothing good, whatever was to come, I knew that much. It never failed me till this day and I wasn’t about to start ignoring it now.

“Let me know how it went.” Colonel Sanders said to me when I visited him before I had left for the airport. He had seemed positive that I made the right decision. We would be about to see that shortly…

My three boys were a little different regarding this whole thing, being adamant to stay till my departure and being with me till the last second. Not wanting to let me go alone but they knew I had to. This was my battle to fight, not theirs.

“Show him that nobody messes with our wolf, okay?” Were Mick’s words goodbye, holding me to his six foot one large frame and wanting to go with me despite knowing he couldn’t. He was still not well with this but accepted my decision in the end.

“You’re not the only one here, you know?” Reminded him Luc from his left, shoving him to the side so he could hug me goodbye too.

“Gotta make sure to take care of our girl properly.” His friend countered and made a wink toward him.

“You’re so full of shit. I really don’t know how I made it through all these years with you.” Luc laughed with a shaking head and brought me closer.

“Remember that we’re always with you, alright? Even if we’re not there, Y/N.” The six foot tall man said while hugging me and caressing my arm softly.

“I’ll keep these two assholes here in check in the meantime.” He added a bit quieter with a laugh, pretending to whisper it to me but wanting his brothers to actually hear it.

“I heard that!” Sounded Mick’s voice loudly from behind us not a second after.

“That was his plan, pendejo.” Alex informed him from the right while he came over to also give me a hug before my departure.

“Watch your six, Y/N.” Giving me a kiss on the crown of my head and burying his head in my neck after, he mumbled his words into my skin. He joined our hands and rubbed it a few times soothingly to make sure I was ready to face my anxiety once again. Only this time without them for the very first time since I’ve been with the boys. Alex’ six foot two body was curled protectively around me, wanting to give me the most safest feeling possible for the 2 hour flight ahead of me. Hoping I’d get through it without any incidents.

“I will. You watch yours too.” I answered back, squeezing his hand a few times before letting go and pulling back, looking him in the eyes on the way.

“Promise. I’ll make sure Mick doesn’t do anything stupid while you’re gone.” He reassured me laughing.

“I heard that too!” The mentioned man shouted again, not caring about people giving him annoyed looks while walking by.

“I’ll see you boys soon.” Were my last words I exchanged with them before my flight got called out and I had to go. Looking one final time over my shoulder to see them waving with their hands before they were out of my sight.

So here I was, walking in the little café that actually looked quite nice. There were multiple tables with two to four chairs distributed in the room with some flowers in a vase and white tablecloths on them, some booths next to the pastel-colored walls too. Some framed pictures here and there to create a more friendly atmosphere. It felt like ages since I’ve been somewhere like this under “normal” circumstances. Always jumping from mission to mission without a break cause it was the only thing that kept me sane, helped me to block out my emotions and all thoughts in my fucked up mind that would bury me under a darkness I would never come out of again. Not alive.

A woman in probably her 20’s I assumed, with her brown hair in a ponytail, greeted me with a friendly smile when I walked by the counter, looking around the room, already on guard like always and on high alert to the unknown environment around me. I already hated being here. Alone with myself, not having my gear to protect me or a weapon besides my knife in the left pocket of my pants. Just to be safe. And not having my boys if something happened, the only ones that knew how to deal with it.

Just relax. Everything is fine. I told myself with every single step I took. Except it wasn’t.

Thankfully the café wasn’t too crowded right now and there were only a couple of people sitting at some tables, drinking or eating something. Three waiting in a line at the counter to probably buy something to-go. Everything looked like it was a normal day, people going after their routines, not caring about the things around them. But they should.

They didn’t know there was a killer amongst them right now, that wouldn’t hesitate to strike. Foolish idiots.

As my eyes continued scanning the room thoroughly, they landed on a person sitting in one of the booths more in the back of the café. It was only after our looks crossed that I stopped abruptly in my steps. His brown eyes with that familiar golden glow had already spotted and fixated me, not yet giving away any emotions behind them.

I felt like someone had stolen the air out of my lungs. Too stunned to see him really after all this time in person right in front of me again. He was still wearing his characteristically dark blue cap with the star on it, a jacket in the same color with a red shirt underneath, black pants and shoes. Santiago didn’t look any different than I remembered him. Besides the fact, that he must have shaven in the last days since his slight stubble was gone.

My first instinct that hit me right this moment was to run. Run away. Then everything else kicked in and I had to hold myself back to not loose it in front of all the people in here. I felt the memories threatening to rush back that I tried so desperately to erase without success. I couldn’t allow this. I wouldn’t. In a split second my walls were even higher up, not wanting him to see what reaction he had caused. Pushing all my emotions aside and taking in some air, I slowly continued my way toward him with an emotionless face. He wouldn’t get to know how I was feeling.

“I didn’t expect you to actually come.” His voice greeted me when I reached the booth he was sitting in, standing up in the process.

“Me neither.” I answered without any emotion, holding his gaze and sitting down across from him.

A moment long there was just silence between us, no one of us really knowing what to say and only looking at each other.

“I’m s-” Before he could say anything more, I rudely cut him off. Not wanting to hear whatever he was about to say.

“What do you want?” I asked coldly, crossing my arms and making it clear to him that I wasn’t happy about the whole situation.

“Straight to the point, hm?” He really had the audacity to laugh.

“You forced me to come down here despite knowing very well about my anxiety, so you better have a real good reason to suddenly decide to talk after 8 fucking years, Garcia.” He wasn’t getting the satisfaction of getting called by his nickname by me.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” His honest tone surprised me, also the softened look in his eyes he was giving me.

“Come to the point.” Deciding I couldn’t longer bear his look, I looked out the window next to me and waited for his next words.

Sighing, he put his arms on the table and leaned forward. He was smart enough to know that he would fall on deaf ears if he continued like this. Like always.

“I wanna get the old team back together.” Never having anticipated to hear anything close to this, my head whipped around immediately. Looking at him speechless and with wide eyes.

I was dreaming this, right? He… didn’t actually just say those words out loud?

“You- What…?!” I was sure my brain stopped working. Why would he say that? And how would he come up with something like that out of nowhere?

“I want to get all of us together again.” Santiago repeated his previous words calmy, giving me time to process what he had just dropped on me.

“No!” Was my immediate response that I shouted at him, getting the attention of the whole café that I completely ignored and jumped up from my seat, ready to leave as fast as possible.

“Y/N! Wait!” He also raised his voice and got up, trying to stop me.

I might have been okay with him talking about what happened in the past but getting all of us together again? Fuck no, that was the line I wasn’t going to cross. I’d rather die than seeing them again. Seeing him. I knew I had a bad feeling for a reason about this. To hell with making peace, I needed to get out of here before everything would get out of control.

“I knew it was a fucking mistake to come here!” I snarled at him, gritting my teeth and sending him a stone-cold look.

“Let me explain, please.” He pleaded and lowered his voice, taking a seat again.

I shouldn’t hear him out, I should just go, walk out of that door and pretend nothing had happened.

With a huff I closed my eyes for a moment and set back down too. Why was I listening to him?

“What is it?” I cut myself short, not making eye contact with him.

“A Recce.”

“A Recce?” Repeating his words, my thoughts began already racing. There must be more behind it than just a simple recce, he wouldn’t come to me with only this.

“Yes.”

“We both know it ain’t just a simple recce, Santiago. You’re not the guy that does things only halfway. So what is it really?” I snorted sarcastically, not believing his words and looking back at him.

“I wanna get Gabriel Martin Lorea.” He explained shortly after without hesitation, leaning forward on the table again and folding his hands. Knowing I saw right through him.

Lorea? How did he know that name? We had been surveillancing that guy’s activities for a few months now and never found out where he was hiding. Every bust the army made came up with nothing and every lead we followed led us to a dead end. And now Santiago Garcia, of all possible people should know where that piece of shit was? That couldn’t be a coincidence, no way.

“Lorea?! How did you get that name?” I asked with a mix of surprise and confusion in my voice, furrowing my eyebrows.

“I-” Right as he wanted to explain, the young woman from the counter earlier came to a stop at our table and we paused our conversation for the moment.

“Hello, can I bring you anything?” She asked, still smiling and giving Santiago probably the sweetest look she could. Of course she needed to do that.

“No. Can you fuck off now?” I shot at her, feeling anger already rushing up inside of me and wanting to rip that look off of her face. How dare she interrupt us like that? She better get hella fast as far away as possible.

Her face fell as soon as my words hit her, looking weirdly over to Santiago before she made her leave quietly back behind the counter, whispering something to herself. Bitch.

“She was only doing her job.” The Spanish man across from me chuckled with an amused face. Finding it seemingly funny, how I reacted toward the woman.

“I’m not here for bullshit like this. So cut it and answer my question.” I countered, not bothering with his comment.

Santiago snorted and leaned back against the booth behind him.

“After I retired, I’ve been working as consultant with the DEA down in South America. For the last 3 years I tried to actually get this guy.” So he was still kinda doing the same thing. Never being someone to just stop at some point, constantly needing to do something. He hadn’t changed at all.

I didn’t know what each of them were doing in these 8 years, maybe all of them had retired already?

“Why?”

“Because he’s the reason, everything I’ve done didn’t make any difference. He’s destroying that country with no one stopping him and I want to change that.” He finished, looking at me expectantly.

“And suddenly, after nobody could even find a trace about him, you know where he is?” I questioned him in disbelief.

“I’ve got an informant down there that found out where Lorea is.” Was he really that foolish to believe he could actually trust an “informant”? He should know best that in our line of work it was your certain death. Never trust anyone.

“And you want me to just blindly trust you with that? No way, Garcia.” Why did I have the feeling that there was still more to this than he let on?

“Okay. Here, at least take a look at this.” He proposed with a sigh and handed me a red folder he took out of his black bag that was next to him. Santiago knew I wasn’t convinced by any word he had said so far and wanted to change his strategy as it looked. Good luck to him, he wouldn’t get far with that.

“And what is that?” I asked him, wondering what he could possibly want with a folder now.

Taking it from him, I looked around us for a moment, making sure nobody was listening or looking at what we were discussing, then opening and laying it on the table between us.

There were various notes and pictures of Lorea and what was presumably his house. What did he want with all this? Every possible question that came up while looking through everything flew right out the window when I came across two words, that put everything in a whole new light. The first one being ‘Triple Frontier’ and the second ‘Money’. Both big and bright red flags.

“Have you actually gone insane?!” I raised my voice at him, not believing that he seriously was planning this.

“You wanna go in one of the worst and dangerous places on this planet and kill one of the biggest drug lords there?! And on top of it, get his money too?!” I added, heavily shaking my head and looking back out of the window with a scoff. This was bound to fail. He must have lost his god damn mind! That place was crawling with criminals, corruption, cartels and drug lords.

“Look, I really need him and it’s less than a week of work for 17 grand and potentially much more.” Santiago tried to let it sound less bad than it actually was. Like it was only a normal thing.

“I don’t give a damn shit about the money, Santiago! This is a fuckin’ suicide mission!” My blood was boiling by now. What was he thinking? Was he actually believing he could do this? Was he seriously not considering sending all of the guys into their deaths?

“I need you on this, please.” He was giving me that look I knew too well when he wanted to convince someone, but I wasn’t going to give in to it.

“Hell no! If you so desperately want Lorea, go get him. You don’t need me anyway if you have the others. Do they even know about me?” I denied his pleading and was wondering if he had told someone about me.

“No, they don’t.” He let out a long, frustrated sigh, lifting his cap, readjusting it and crossing his arms over his chest after.

“They wouldn’t agree to it anyway if they knew.” I let out a sarcastic laugh, sure as hell not a single one of them wanted to see me ever again in their lives. And I wasn’t about to change that.

“Have you asked them already?” Adding another question, I looked back to him, wanting to see in his eyes when he answered.

“Not yet. I had hoped to ask you first.” I should have known it. This Bastard. He was giving me the most innocent look he was able to pull up.

“And the answer’s still no and will be.” Emphasizing my words, I made sure to make it clear for him that he wasn’t gonna get me to help with his stunt. No matter what he tried.

“Here’s my number if you should change your decision. And Ben has a fight in the local gym in Pinellas County this Friday at 5 PM, you should come.” Santiago accepted his defeat finally and gave me a piece of paper with his phone number on it, waiting till I really took it from him and shoved it carelessly in the right pocket of my pants.

“I’m not coming. And I already made my decision.” I immediately replied, closing the red folder in front of me and getting up. He could wait for a lifetime that I seriously even considered changing it. And why the hell was he inviting me to a fight? From the one person I wouldn’t face for the death of me ever again?

“You know how to reach me. It was… nice to see you again, Y/N.” He followed and stood up too, holding my gaze.

“I can’t really say the same and I wouldn’t get my hopes up if I were you, Garcia.” Was all I said before I left him and the café, not looking back.

4 hours later, 6 PM, North Carolina, Fort Bragg

Arriving back home, I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Luc, Mick, Alex and me were just passing the door of the base when Deryll and Marc came toward us to take their security shift.

“There’s our favorite girl!”

“Look who it is!”

They both shouted at the same time with wide smiles and came over to greet us. I hadn’t seen them since we came back from our last mission, not having the time to pay attention to it anyway because of the things that happened shortly after.

Both were still there for me after I got assigned to the boys I called my team now and they were the only ones here that really knew besides colonel Sanders how close I was with them. The two friends never had to witness in full detail how I really was doing after everything, having to work their shifts and me constantly being on a mission god knows where with my new team. But they weren’t stupid and were able to pick up on little things they noticed changing. It was a shock for them at first when they heard what had happened, not wanting to believe that such a thing was even possible. They always believed we would be a team forever. Oh boy, how wrong they were.

So the years passed and they couldn’t do more than stand by and watch how the once happy, lively, little girl they knew and cherished, turned into an unrecognizable monster consumed by only darkness. There wasn’t a single thing they could do to help keeping her alive cause it had been already too late. Far too late to try and safe the last pieces remaining. She was already dead.

But being the boys they were, they didn’t even think about giving up. They always made sure to keep talking to her, trying to at least brighten her dark days a little and showing her that they were there since the first day they met her. That they wouldn’t leave her too.

“Attention! Mick’s twins at 4 o’clock.” Alex immediately warned from beside me as he spotted the two friends walking in our direction.

“Will you ever stop calling them that?” Mick shot back at the Spanish man, eyeing him with a sharp look from the opposite side of me.

“No, hermano. I can’t help that it’s the truth.” Shrugging with his shoulders, Alex chuckled at his brother. Knowing it annoyed him to no end when he called them by the nickname he came up with after he got to know them because he thought they were exactly like Mick: loud, with a big mouth and as annoying as him. In the brotherly sense.

“I can definitely see some similarities.” Luc acknowledged amused with a wink toward the man in question.

“And I thought you would have my back for once, Luc!” He said in a fake disappointed voice, hanging his head dramatically.

“Who’s annoying our dear brother?” Deryll asked laughing when he reached us with widespread arms and embraced Mick.

“What’s good, man?” Mick replied joyfully with a clap on his back, happy to see him.

“Can’t have that, can we?” Marc added a moment after, going over to Alex and hugging him.

“As if you would care.” Alex returned sarcastically, happy to see their friends too.

“Of course we care, man!” Deryll assured him while he went to Luc and repeated his gesture.

“Nice to see you, man.” Luc greeted him back, exchanging a brotherly embrace like the others while Marc moved on to Mick.

After they greeted the boys, they came to me. Having patiently waited till the men were finished and watched their interactions with each other.

“And there she is!” Deryll’s grin grew even wider at the sight of me.

“Hey.” I quietly said while I put my arms around him and waited till he bent down with his over six foot tall body a little so I didn’t have to get on my tiptoes because of his height.

“How are we doin’? Your boys takin’ care of you?” He asked, inspecting me attentively after pulling back a bit.

“Did you really just ask her that, bro?” Mick’s surprised voice cut in.

“Of course, someone here has to make sure she’s okay.” Deryll answered with a laugh, giving me a soft squeeze.

“You know we always do.” Luc joined in with a nod and a knowing look toward him.

“We’re only checking up on her, so chill.” Marc decided to help his friend, now switching with him to hug me also.

“We got her covered, don’t you worry.” Alex spoke up, making himself a bit taller with an underlying protective seriousness in his voice.

“I’m okay, you can stop. You know they wouldn’t leave me out of sight even if I wanted.” I decided to finally say something and crack a joke that would hopefully distract them from noticing what was currently going on inside me.

My boys knew right away when they had picked me up from the airport earlier that something wasn’t okay. I hadn’t spoken much on the way, already exhausted enough from the flight where I nearly had a panic attack as soon as we took off. Everything was all over the place right now. I didn’t know how to handle the chaos of emotions that was wrecking through me at the moment. How to control it. Santiago had unintentionally poked the beast at a point he shouldn’t have, one that had it clawing even wilder against its cage, trying to break free from its chains to get out and rip everything in its wake to shreds.

“They better.” The security boys said in unison and gave me both a wink.

“Okay, enough of that now, pendejos. Our girl and us have an important talk to have, so we gonna have to cut this short here.” The Spanish man decided that he had enough, not able to stand my unusual quietness any longer and hating to not know the reason for it.

“Alright man, see y’all later then and don’t forget to tell her to use protection!” Marc shouted after us as the boys and me started to walk away after waving them goodbye.

“Increíble. (Unbelievable.)” Alex mumbled to himself.

“That’s my line, dude!” Mick shouted back over his shoulder, trying to lift the growing tension in the air but failing.

After a short walk in utter silence that felt like it was suffocating me, we were standing in front of colonel Sanders.

I knew I didn’t need to do this, given it was something more “private” and not a mission report or anything like that. But I also knew that the colonel would want to know how it went and I kinda owed it to him for all the things he had done and was doing for me. And because he was involved in all this too even if he was more on the sideline of things.

My teammates were already itching to know what was going on since I hadn’t told them a single word about the meeting with Santiago yet. I simply couldn’t, I didn’t know what and how to say it. That’s why I just stood there quietly after the colonel greeted us, not able to get any words out. All I wanted was to run as fast to my bunk as I could and push everything back as deep as possible, lock it away in the darkest corner of myself to never have to think about it again. But of course I couldn’t.

“Are you finally gonna tell us now what’s going on? You’ve been different ever since you came back and I don’t like it.” Alex voiced his growing concerns out loud, watching me with an intense gaze.

The only thing he got as answer was my silence, uncomfortably shifting from foot to foot and keeping my eyes fixated on the ground. I knew I should have said something but there was nothing to help with getting anything out of my mouth.

“That asshole hurt you, right?! He’s so fucking dead! I’m gonna kill him!” Mick threatened with a raised voice, finally exploding because he had enough.

“STOP!” I yelled even louder, squeezing my eyes shut as hard as I was able to and clenched my fists, digging my nails in my palms painfully. You need to calm down, don’t loose it in front of them. Stay in control.

“Y/N, we all can see that something is bothering you and to me it looks like it is nothing good that happened, am I right?” Colonel Sanders asked cautiously, not wanting to irritate me further. Knowing I was in a fragile state right now and it would only take one more wrong word before I’d snap. And none of them wanted that to happen. To experience it when they let the ferocious wolf out of its containment.

I was back to being quiet again, not daring to say another word for fear of crossing the line to the dead zone they were stepping dangerously close to right now.

“How about we all relax for a sec?” Luc intervened after I still refused to speak, his message aimed for his friends that he eyed from the side.

“You don’t have to tell us anything you’re not ready for. We understand.” He continued sympathetically, while he crouched down in front of me and slowly tried to pry my tight clasped fists open.

That got me to open my eyes and look at him. Why did they all care so much about me when I didn’t deserve it? When I should burn in eternal hell for everything I’ve done? How could they still look me in the eyes?

Another heartbeat long we just stared at each other and I could feel almost tears coming up that I stopped before they had the slightest chance to surface. Why was it bothering me so much? Why did I still care?

“He… wants me to help him with a recce.” I pressed out, not able to keep it in any longer.

“This gets better and better.” Mick scoffed with a shaking head from the side.

“A recce? That’s all he wanted to talk about?” Alex asked for confirmation frowning, not understanding why that was Santiago’s priority, out of all possible more important things.

“I don’t know. I didn’t let him get to anything else, didn’t want to hear any sentimental shit.” I looked from Luc’s face back to the ground between us, letting him hold my hands he had intertwined with his after he managed to loosen them.

“Do I want to know any details?” The colonel questioned skeptically, knowing his ex-delta force soldier well enough to know that there must be more.

“Not really.” Sighing heavily, I squeezed Luc’s hand a little harder that he returned with one of his own.

“Please tell me that you’ve refused.” Mick turned to me with hopeful eyes. Trusting my judgement like always, to know when to draw a line.

“As if it would be that easy…” I whispered to myself with a slight huff. If you were not considering all the lives he put at stake.

“Of course, I did, Mick.” Confirming with a nod at him, I retreated my hands and crossed my arms.

“Thank god.” He relaxed his stiff posture.

“Why do I hear a ‘but’?” His brother Luc cut in, stopping his heightening mood in an instant.

“Because Santiago’s about to get himself into trouble.” Colonel Sanders answered for me and leaned back in his chair, having already caught on with my implications and reactions.

“That means?” The Spanish man among us spoke up once again after listening the back and forth of our conversation, paying close attention to my behavior the entire time.

It was now or never. If I wouldn’t tell them now, I wouldn’t be able to get it out if I thought any longer about the possible consequences.

“Remember the drug lord Delta’s been trying to find? Lorea?” I asked the round of the four men and waited till they put one and one together.

I could literally see the lightbulbs turning on over their heads not a moment later.

“He wants to go after him and his money.” I elaborated, staring holes into the ground and hoped it would swallow me whole. I could feel my gut clenching uncomfortably at every word that came out. This was so fucked up. I should have never agreed to that meeting! Why did I have to be so stupid?

“He knows you’re active duty and that this would have consequences?” The colonel immediately said with a warning tone and I could have sworn I saw anger crossing his features for a second as I looked up at him before it went back to his blank one.

“Why would he want your help with it anyway?” Luc questioned shortly after, standing back up from his crouching position and moving to my left side to his original spot.

“Because…” I started but the words soon left me again, not wanting to voice out the worst thing I still had to tell them. “…he wants to get the team back together.”

“He really thinks he can pull this shit up? That someone would be insane enough to agree to his fucked up idea? Why not going to Lorea and ask him politely if he will give him all his fucking money and oh by the way, put a bullet through his head?” Mick laughed with sarcasm lacing his voice.

“It’s illegal, right?” Alex pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

“According to his folder he showed me, it’s supposed to be a legal operation. Looked like he wanted to do it with the narcotics unit and work across the border with the army. He made a contract with an agency down there or some shit.” I explained what I had read on the notes he had given me.

The boys’ faces turned toward each other with confused looks, probably all asking themselves the same.

“So Santiago’s still working with the DEA in South America. He told me about his plan to go there before he retired a few years ago.” Sanders answered their unspoken question, having already recognized what they were about to ask. He never told me anything about them in these 8 years. Not that I cared… or rather, that I was lying to myself all along…

Just as I was about to ask the colonel a question of my own, Luc beat me to it with another one of his.

“Did he tell you the location? Or where he got the information?”

“You won’t like it.” I told him, sending him a serious look from the side.

Quiet huffs filled the room, like they had already anticipated that it wouldn’t be something good too.

“Somewhere near the Triple Frontier in the jungle. He claimed that his ‘informant’ found it out.”

“As if this whole thing wouldn’t have been insane enough already!” Mick commented dryly with irritation in his voice.

“He wants to drag you into one of the most dangerous places?! Because of an information from a person he can’t even trust? That’s enough!” Alex added, now sharing the same feeling with his brother.

“You have already made your decision, haven’t you, Y/N?” Luc’s soft voice sounded from beside me and pulled all the attention on him before it quickly shifted over to me. I was sure he had suspected it from the start even if I had been denying it myself.

A deafening silence settled over the office when I withheld the answer they were all waiting for and instead lowered my gaze down to the floor once again with every possible negative emotion flowing through me. Closing my eyes and willing myself to stay as calm as possible, to keep my shit together.

“You said you refused! You can’t be fucking considering it now, Y/N! You can’t do this!” Mick’s harsh tone cut the silence like a knife and it was like the room was closing in on me with every passing second.

“I won’t lose anyone else! I-… can’t.” I literally screamed out but ending nearly in a whisper, fixating him with something none of them had seen in a very long time since the death of their friend Vic. With the most vulnerable look and glossed over eyes I just stared at him, silently pleading with him to understand. To not make me say the words out loud. Please. Please don’t make me relive it. I won’t be able to survive it this time.

“And if that means I have to give up everything then so be it. I’d do everything than being here and pretend I didn’t know that they are getting themselves killed with this fucking suicide mission!” Letting my gaze wander around to each one of them, I saw that they had lowered their heads with saddened expressions. Understanding exactly what I was talking about and how I felt.

Exhaling after I was finished, I gave myself a break for a moment to calm my faster heartbeat and re-collect myself.

“Can you… tell me what the others have been doing? I want to at least know what I’ll be dealing with.” I continued with the question I wanted to ask earlier and looked to colonel Sanders.

“Y/N, you know I can’t tell you anything private. Only if it’s something official.” He answered with a softened look and folded his hands in front of him on his desk.

“What if it was a mission?” I proposed, holding eye contact.

“What do you have in mind, captain?” He questioned back, narrowing his eyes slightly.

“We’ve been looking for Lorea anyway, so… what if me and my team take him and his guys out as an official mission of Delta?”

The three boys were quiet after my little speech, not saying another word because they probably knew that they couldn’t stop me. Keeping their eyes locked to the ground below them and listening.

“You know what I’ll be forced to do if anything else happens.” Sanders reminded me with all his authority, making sure I was clear about what I’d be doing.

“Yes, commander.” I confirmed him without hesitation with a nod.

After a moment long silent exchange between us, colonel Sanders turned to his right where his computer was placed and began typing.

“Fine. Give me a minute.”

Shortly after, he motioned for me to come around to him. Not wasting any time, I crossed the distance with fast steps and gave Luc, Alex and Mick that had looked up to follow what was happening, a nod to the side with my head as if to say Follow me. Not questioning my instruction, they moved around the desk too and came to a halt to my left.

“Anyone specific you want to start with?” The colonel wanted to know but I declined, bracing myself for what I was about to hear.

“No.”

“Let’s see who we’ve got first then.”

A few clicks and types on his keyboard later, the first file showed up on his screen, for everyone to see.

“Looks like we’re starting with one of the captains. William Miller, the older brother of the two Millers. He’s giving speeches at the local VA where he’s living with his younger brother in Florida after he retired. There’s a report from an incident 5 years ago when he was on his time on leave. It happened in a Publix store, according to witnesses he had an arm around a guy’s throat in the cereal isle and squeezed so hard that he pissed himself. Seems like he was engaged at that time cause people said his fiancé as she had claimed, had to climb on his back to stop him from actually killing the guy. According to reports of the people there, he’d done it because the guy hadn’t moved his cart when he asked him to, and his fiancé left him right after.” Sanders read out loud for all of us to hear as he went over everything in Will’s file.

I didn’t know what exactly I expected to hear but it surely wasn’t this. To say that I was shocked was an understatement. Will was never the violent type and would’ve never hurt innocent people intentionally. From how it sounded, I guessed that it must had to do something with his PTSD. There was no other logical explanation for him to act out like this, especially in public. And to hear that he had a fiancé felt even stranger but that she had left him after what he’d been through made my blood boil. He didn’t deserve something like that. He didn’t deserve to be treated like this and he didn’t deserve someone that couldn’t understand him. How did she dare hurting him like this? You did just the same…

This is only your fault!

“Who do we have next?” I asked, not wanting to think about it more and ending up severing her ugly head from her body when I ever got the chance. She’d wish, she never had crossed paths with Will.

Stop thinking like this, Y/N! They’re not your concern anymore! You didn’t care these 8 years, so don’t start now! …Yes, you did! Stop lying to yourself already!

“You know about Santiago Garcia, so we can skip him since there’s nothing recorded in his file besides his work with the DEA and a neck operation last year.” Abruptly pulling me out of my thoughts, mine and Sanders’ looks crossed for a moment when he turned his head and I nodded, confirming it was okay to proceed.

“Captain Thomas Davis. Unlike the rest of the team, he was forced to retire. He’s now selling condos in the town he’s living in Florida. Has split with his wife but is still taking care of their two girls they have together. That’s everything we’ve got about him.” Tom wasn’t as much of a surprise because I knew that he had family, even if he rarely brought it up, and there were some tensions that had seemed to not have evened out over time. But I never thought it was that bad, for them to split. But he always could be a bit complicated, so it hadn’t been completely off the table.

“Let’s see who we’ve got next… ah, the younger Miller brother. Benjamin Miller, as I already mentioned, he’s living together with his older brother. The only record we have about him is that he’s been doing MMA fights after he retired, nothing else.” I cringed internally at the mention of his first name. Ben didn’t like it that much, wanting to be called ‘Ben’ or ‘Benny’ but never by his right first name. Why, he never told me but I respected it and never mentioned it. He had told me about some fights he had when he was on leave, always claiming that he was the best despite his sometimes still healing wounds he had when he came back that obviously indicated that he got his ass kicked. I hated those times, even if the wounds were very small and barely visible anymore, it still pained and angered me to know that someone had hurt him even if that was part of what he was doing. I absolutely loathed to see him hurt in any shape or form and the guilt that came with it, that I hadn’t been there or couldn’t do anything about it to protect him. Did he have a girlfriend too? With his always flirtatious and charming nature he surely wouldn’t have a problem finding one… Not mentioning his look… I gritted my teeth at the thought, not wanting to even begin to imagine a possible scenario like this. Feeling the all too familiar white-hot rage rushing through my veins immediately.

This is only your fault!

Trying my best to ignore the annoying voice in my head, I shifted my attention back to reality just in time where the colonel had already moved on to the last person he hadn’t mentioned yet.

“And lastly, we have Francisco Morales. Divorced from his wife about 3 years ago and lost his license after he got busted with coke last year. He’s still under review, result pending. Also living in Florida.” First I thought I didn’t hear right but the more I repeated his words, the more clearer they became and I didn’t want to believe a single one of them. He had lost his license because of drugs?! He never had anything to do with shit like that before. What had happened that caused him to think it was a good idea to fall back on fucking coke or other dangerous drugs? And since when did he have a wife, that also had the audacity to break his heart apparently? Was she the reason for his unusual behavior? She better not be…

His flying license had always meant everything to him and to lose it because of something like that… I couldn’t even imagine how he must have felt.

This is only YOUR fault!

I was so full of rage like I hadn’t been in a long while. Enraged about myself. How could’ve everything fallen apart like this? What the fuck had happened to the Delta Force soldiers I once knew? The ones I had called my family?

“That’s everything we’ve got about them.” I heard the colonel from my right but was barely paying attention to it, too caught up in the rising anger that was already spreading like a wildfire through my inside and keeping blankly staring at the screen.

You’re a monster. You destroyed everything, shouldn’t you be happy?

“Thank you.” My emotionless voice answered, not registering that I actually said it.

I hoped that none of my teammates would be commenting on anything they just heard because I wouldn’t be capable of taking it right now.

A tug on my arm snapped me back to the present, where I got greeted with sympathetic smiles from each of the four men in the room. They had probably sensed that I didn’t take the information very well and wanted to reassure me that they wouldn’t judge about what they had heard. Well, Sanders already surely must have known most of it, that was out of question. Maybe it was better he never told me anything these last years. Not that it would have changed anything anyway.

The boys had nearly walked back to the places they stood before, when I started to slowly retreat too. Making sure my legs were stable enough to carry me the short distance.

“So… how are we feeling about this?” The colonel asked after a quietness had settled between us.

“Her fight is our fight.” Mick spoke up as soon as he ended, with a determination in his voice I didn’t expect.

Full of surprise I looked toward him and saw a mischievous grin on his face, one that was all too familiar.

“Someone’s gotta keep them off of you, right captain?” He added with a wink at me.

I just blinked at him, not knowing why he suddenly had changed his opinion despite being adamant and hellbent on me not doing it.

“And you didn’t really think I’d let you simply walk alone into a deathtrap, did you?” Mick continued, his grin getting wider.

“Exactamente. (Exactly.) We’ve been through enough shit together already, we ain’t gonna stop because of some drug lord.” Alex joined his brother, the smile he had before still on his face.

“What’s there left for me to say if you guys say everything in advance?” Luc questioned at his friends with a laugh.

“Maybe that you’re grateful that we let you come along?” Mick joked.

“Fuck off. You’ll be glad to have me if I have to patch up your sorry ass.” His friend countered.

“There is another thing I have to tell you.” I cut in their laughs that were missing for too long since we were here.

All attention was back on me in an instant, their eyes looking curiously at me.

“Before I left the café, Santiago invited me to one of Ben’s MMA fights this Friday.” I told them, not really sharing their surprisingly good mood.

“You want to go?” Sanders straightened his position in his chair. He knew I was close to him because Ben never had made a secret out of it with his big mouth and constantly being around me. But how much did he really know?

“I told him I wouldn’t but if we’re doing this then I might as well, right?” I questioned back, already regretting that I had thrown all of my previous decisions out the window in a span of only a few hours. But at the prospect of potential deaths, it was different.

“Need some company?” Luc offered, probably knowing it wouldn’t be an easy thing to do for me.

“Was counting on it.” Relieved that I wouldn’t have to get through it alone, I nodded at him.

“I’d say I come with you but I don’t wanna interrupt your date, lovebirds.” Mick interjected with a laugh.

“And someone’s gotta keep watch so you don’t burn down the whole base, hermano.” Alex added, jabbing his friend lightly in the ribs and pulling him in a headlock before he could let any more words out.

“Fucking kids.” Luc commented laughing while shaking his head.

My look went from them over to colonel Sanders who held my gaze with a reassuring smile.

A/N: Thanks for all the follows, likes and reblogs! It really means the world to me ❤️ Also how are we feeling about the things that have been revealed to us? 🤔

If you enjoyed the chapter/ the story so far feel free to reblog, like and comment! 🥰

Masterlist

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[d0tping]

Hey guys, so I know I already don’t post a ton on here, let alone about Sanders Sides, but I know some of you have followed me because of my Sanders Sides related posts.

So this post is mainly for those people who follow me, or any other sanders sides fan who comes across this post who’s just browsing the tags.

I’ve come to the decision that after the season 2 finale, whenever that will come out, I will no longer be watching Sanders Sides as a regular fan.

I know a lot of people in the fandom are pretty bored of the lack of content or are just tired of waiting, or is upset with how the series is being handled/treated at the moment, or have just fallen out of love for the series, and I completely understand every single one of you who are feeling like that.

Personally, I am pretty tired of the current treatment of the series, I am incredibly tired of the lack of communication we get, I’m tired of being strung along with little comments to make us stay, I’m just tired.

Now, this is not to say that I am against Thomas in any way shape or form, no absolutely not. I want to make that incredibly clear! I do not hate Thomas Sanders! I am not against him! I understand this year has been awful for him both mentally and physically, and I am so proud and happy that he’s been doing better recently. And I wish nothing but the absolute best for him!

But there’s only so much I can defend. And lack of professionalism, communication and organisation is, unfortunately, not something I can defend.

There has been so many times where Thomas’ could’ve told us something, updated us on the writing, the production process, filming, etc etc, and it has just been radio silence, other than a few tweets here and there that still imply he’s in the writing process.

I’m at a point where I am even scared that the finale is just not going to be worth the wait we’ve had to sit through.

Let’s face it, the fandom is dead, the series is in purgatory - practically on the brink of death - we get no updates, no episodes, and the only sanders sides content we get is either ads or a little something for us to talk about for about a week, maybe 2 if we really milk it out.

But other than that, Sanders Sides has become a cash grab and filler content. Just let that sink in for a moment…

Yeah, I don’t know about you, but if this is what it’s like now, who knows what it’s going to be like for season 3. Yikes.

And personally, I don’t want to be around to watch that. I’m already having to watch a series I love and care about deeply slowly die in real time, I really don’t want to stay to see how far it will fall.

Now this is not to say that I am going to stop watching Sanders Sides, no I will still watch it, I will still watch season 3, but I will just not be considered a “regular fan,” more so just a casual viewer.

Once something dies down for me, I more or less just stop caring for it, this is pretty common for me and it’s pretty unfortunate to be honest, I’ve been like this with many other of my past special interests/hyperfixations, but for me if there is nothing to keep me hyperfixated on something….then what’s the point? For example: a few years back I was incredibly fixated on Teen Wolf, I watched the entire series on Netflix and I was completely and utterly obsessed. It was a main hyperfixation of mine for a long time, and then I finished the show. And whilst I still enjoyed it, I still liked it, it slowly faded into the background for me overtime. I may not be completely and utterly obsessed with it anymore now, but I still like it and I look back on it very fondly.

This has been the same for Sanders Sides, and it has been like that for a while now for me.

I still love it, I’d still like to see the end of it, but it’s just….not a huge thing for me anymore.

So yeah, after season 2 I am done with Sanders Sides, at least on a regular fan level.

Thank you so much for liking my Sanders Sides posts, despite how few there are compared to other sanders sides blogs on here, but I appreciate you stopping by and checking out my art and my theories/ideas.

I believe I still have a few sanders sides drafts on here that I never posted, so if you’d like to see them then I am more than happy to post them!

I’m not leaving the fandom forever, I’m more so just giving my time and energy to other things, and that’s okay. Sanders Sides will always be there, no matter how long it takes /lh.

So whilst this is not a goodbye, it’s more of a “see you around” I suppose, so I’ll see you guys around! Again thank you so much for checking out my lil sanders sides corner of the internet, and I hope you all carry on creating your amazing art, writing, edits, cosplays, headcanons, ideas and theories for this truly amazing series. And of course, I hope you enjoy watching Sanders Sides!

Bye guys! Much love and take care 💛🫶

-Remy

[sbzbrainrot]

Who is this really about? (One More Thing ch.2)

made a second chapter! here it is, but feel free to also check it out on archives of our own! https://archiveofourown.org/works/47314900/chapters/119299657

The sun cast a warmth over the surface of the water as it rose over the horizon. Morning brought the bioluminescence most of the local flora and fauna held into a slumber of its own - the higher the sun rose, the dimmer the light originating from under the surface got. By 7am, the day had fully begun.

Robin had been watching the gentle sunrise, the beauty of the world outside never failing to mesmerize her. She laid on her side, blanket tucked over her shoulders, still enjoying the snugness of her bed.

She was surprised to find she didn’t feel tired. She had been up a little later than usual last night, busy mulling over her thoughts over what had happened that day. 

Her leg did ache, though. Damn, ice worms had rough skin. When that thing ran over her skin it felt like she’d had an electric sander pressed into her - the heat generated from its quick movement burnt her where it touched, but she didn’t get to experience the burn very deeply because she was practically shredded by its razor-sharp skin before she even had time to react to that heat. 

Although it left a nasty raw spot and some burns, she should’ve felt lucky she got away from the situation with only a few scrapes and bruises. 

But that was one of the main sources of her conflict. She didn’t feel lucky. 

The entire thing had happened so fast - Al-an had suggested they end their searches for the night, picked her up with his stupid beam, put her on his back, and wordlessly blinked across the basin towards the water. And then out came that big ugly worm, knocking her off her already unsteady seat and onto her ass where she was ravaged by its attack. And she had done nothing, because she couldn’t do anything. 

She felt like a rag doll, like Al-an had just picked her up like a child picks up a toy when they’re ready to go home after a day at the park and then dropped her into a dirty puddle of… cheese graters? Robin shook her head as if to shake the analogical line of thought away. 

She knew he hadn’t been being careless and he didn’t intend for her to feel this way, but she felt like everything that happened that night was completely out of her control. The way that he grabbed her, dropped her, grabbed her again, then tried to strip her clothes off - it felt inhumane, no matter the nobility of the actions. 

Robin understood that Al-an wasn’t the best at communicating, especially in stressful situations. He tended to just shut down verbally when they were met with frustration or fear and she found herself missing the connection they had had when he was in her head - as uncomfortable as it was, she at least knew what he was feeling. It was so much harder when all you have to go off is the colors he shines (maybe? She still wasn’t sure about that theory) and the movements he makes, half of which he does with these mechanical arms of his that somehow feel separated from his person regardless. 

Frustration bubbled within her. She had the night of rest to gather her thoughts and yet she somehow felt more conflicted about it now than she had yesterday. 

Robin squeezed her eyes and took in one, two, three breaths. She opened them, now nourished with a sense of freshness, and decided to really think about this. 

She decided to bring herself to a point in her past she hadn’t intentionally recalled in years.

A young Robin, perhaps 5 or 6, sat on an exam table. The memory was fuzzy, but grasping at the edges (an effort she didn’t quite want to make but happened nonetheless) she was able to recall a few things - the bright fluorescent lights that overpowered the sun that shone through the little window, the coldness of the office, the smell of rubbing alcohol. 

She was swinging her legs off the side of the exam table, muttering to herself things she could never hope to remember, just bits of imagination and play that occupied her mind at the time. Her mother sat in front of her reading a magazine, or perhaps a book, or maybe flipping through her phone? 

The doctor, a man with a gruff voice but a face she couldn’t remember, knocked twice on the door before opening it. It had startled Robin and she looked up at him as he entered, watching him as analytically as such a little kid could. 

The doctor barely gave Robin a passing glance and instead shook her mother’s hand, expressing some sort of request to speak about her visit. Mom stood up and joined him by the door. 

Robin could only watch them as they planned - she would be getting three inoculations today and a blood draw, a hearing test, they would be testing her reflexes and evaluating her on how she was adjusting to school. 

Robin furrowed her brows. Her memory at this point was young and she couldn’t remember the previous appointments she’d been to with much detail, this was all very new to her, and very… scary. “What are you guys talking about?”

At her voice the doctor glanced at her, as if just seeming to notice her, and waved her off. “The adults are talking, honey. I’ll get to you in a second.”

Robin frowned. It felt like all she could hear was ‘Robin’ this and ‘Robin’ that, but she wasn’t even being offered the courtesy of being included in this conversation? She wasn’t even going to be told directly what was going to happen today, none of it was going to be explained? Indignantly, she spoke again. “Hey, you’re talking about me, you know.” 

The doctor pried himself away from the conversation with Robin’s mother again to shoot her another look, one she couldn’t quite recall but that sent a feeling of anxiety down her throat. Robin’s mom laughed nervously and apologized for her behavior, turning to Robin and giving her a demanding look.

What? Now Mom was APOLOGIZING for her? She wasn’t sorry. She felt like she had a right to be included in this conversation that’s about HER, why are they just pushing her aside and treating her like she’s being annoying.

Why are they ignoring her?

Why are they giving her those looks?

Why are they using that big language she couldn’t yet understand, why isn’t she allowed to know what’s going to happen?!

Robin had followed that memory as far as it could bring her. The vividness faded quickly and she was left with only the feelings associated with it - a sense of anxiety, anger, fear. 

So that’s what their little ice worm encounter yesterday reminded her of. All those times in her childhood that she was expected to just sit by and pretend not to listen as ‘the adults’ spoke about her, as they planned for her without even asking her what she felt about any of it.

Sam was the only one who ever understood. The thought was sudden and brought a pang of pain to her heart. 

Sam had always been easily convinced to meddle and figure out what was happening, and even though she was a good few years older than Robin, she’d always treated her seriously. She couldn’t recall a single time where Sam would brush her off, she never had to hear ‘The adults are talking, Robin’ from her big sister. 

Until she started working at Alterra and suddenly every communication held this serious air, like they were being monitored, and all Sam did was exchange pleasantries with someone she had shared a womb with - it really hurt. 

After Sam began working for that god awful company, every time they talked it felt like she was talking at her, not with her. It was hard to speak to her those last few months, she even avoided it, before…

Robin swallowed, feeling tears well up in her eyes. She bit her tongue and looked up at the roof, blinking them away. Not the time. There was something else to focus on right now. 

After a few grounding moments, Robin calmed herself. Using her bed frame, she pulled herself up. 

It was time for coffee. Too much thinking for… 8am? She had been laying there just reveling for an hour? Jesus. 

Robin tried to keep her mind away from any more heavy thinking as she hobbled her way into her makeshift kitchen. Seriously, it felt like if she poked at it any further the dam would burst and she’d just be sitting there blubbering.

Al-an was in the kitchen, flexing his claws nervously and idly tinkering with forgotten tools. He was just trying to keep his hands and mind busy while he waited for Robin to awake. 

He wasn’t quite sure if she’d be able to walk after yesterday’s event and once her usual wake up time had passed he was wondering if he should check on her. 

He felt it would not garner a good response, considering how they left off yesterday. So he just decided to wait. 

Al-an turned to face Robin as she entered the room, acutely aware of her approach. He looked at her analytically, but was more focused on keeping himself meticulously composed, ensuring the pulse and colors of his energy channels didn’t give away anything he didn’t want given away. 

As he considered whether or not to greet her first, she spoke. 

“Hey there, big guy.” Robin shot him a warm smile and it cut a tension that neither of them had even known was there. 

“Good morning, Robin.” Al-an felt a weight he didn’t even know was there lift off of him knowing that she was willing to talk to him. A good start.

“What’re you doing here? You’re never in my base this early in the morning.” Robin tilted her head, emulating that habit of Al-an’s unconsciously. He noted it.

“I was concerned for your well-being. I did not want for you to experience any distress as a result of your injury.” Al-an took a few tentative steps towards Robin, voice soft now. “I thought it wise to stay here, waiting for you.”

Robin scrunched her nose and sniggered. “Al-an,” her voice came out sweet, but with an undertone of annoyance. “I didn’t split in half. I’m okay.” 

Al-an looked down at the ground in front of them for a moment, unable to stifle a bit of guilt. He looked back up at her. “I know. But it was still dangerous, even frightening.”

“Maybe for you.” She laughed and put a hand on his claw. “I’m fine, Al-an. Could we talk about this later?”

Al-an stared at her for a few moments. He wasn’t sure he wanted to wait to further discuss this, it seemed pretty important for her well-being and the health of their companionship. He still wasn’t quite sure what had caused her to become so agitated yesterday and he certainly didn’t want to repeat it. 

But he didn’t want to push either. “Okay.” He turned away and walked to the fridge, opening it and taking something out. Robin looked at him curiously as she set some coffee to make.

He walked over to the table and placed down a marblemelon. It was sliced a few jagged and uneven ways. Al-an looked at Robin. He enjoyed the radiating warmth that seemed to come from her joy. (It was illogical - how could a smile create warmth?) He spoke carefully. 

“I have gotten you breakfast from your greenhouse.” To make amends. But he didn’t mention it, because she didn’t want to entertain that topic. 

He had been searching Robin’s PDA last night to try to figure out what sorts of acts helped with making amends and difficult conversations. It was much harder to find than he thought it would be, seems that when something is common courtesy in a society it is seldom documented in writing. 

Just another aspect of human history and culture he found fascinating (and perhaps a little inefficient). The fact that some things simply existed in this raw form, a trained behavior passed down through pure culture. 

But he had managed to find some sources. One recommended he make her a breakfast. 

He wasn’t exactly a cook and they didn’t have the most fabulous ingredients here, but he tried anyway.

“Aw, Al-an…” Robin limped over to him, a big smile on her face, and wrapped her arms around him. She gave him a little squeeze before separating. “Thank you. I was craving marblemelon.”

She actually wasn’t, but Al-an didn’t know that, not that he knew much of anything except how nice it felt to be embraced right now.

[logically-asexual]

I can understand that Cartoon Therapy takes so long to do because it’s Such a Difficult thing to work with since the premise is that it’s therapy. Thomas has to research so so much to 1. understand the psychological concepts, 2. align them with the messages in cartoons he has watched, 3. put it all together in a Story, and 4. make it believable, comedic and uniform with an overall theme.it’s a huge thing, and thomas is also a bit of a perfectionist and stresses himself out trying to make every detail true and convincing.

that’s why i don’t really complain about this series not having more frequent updates. what i do find very annoying is that he keeps teasing and promising that there will be more soon when it’s probably going to take many years. it would probably take months if cartoon therapy was literally the single thing he worked on. like i think it would be better if he pretended the show was only those two episodes and nothing more and then wait until he was actually filming to say that a new episode would come soon. because as it is those two episodes are great and i wouldn’t expect more. but he keeps bringing it up and up and it becomes boring.

and in the case of Sanders Sides i totally agree about developing the characters in the meantime. i just watched this update video he posted a while ago and as cautious as he is about his promises (not saying deadlines and just hinting at things and not giving any concrete info about the progress of anything) he is still making promises he hasn’t kept. including about cartoon therapy. he also mentions one off skits with the sides which i would literally die for! but it hasn’t happened!

i complained more in depth about that in this post. but it can be summed up with what you said that they should have built the characters in the meantime with shorter things. instead of dropping these huge dramatic awe-striking but exhausting episodes one after the other with empty years in between. we don’t need the huge productions we just want to see the Sides why is that so hard to understand.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

crawls into ur window HI MAC I AM SO GLAD U ASKED FOR MY SANDERS SIDES SALES PITCH. oh my god ok. here's my sales pitch. sanders sides is like inside out except they're debating extreme moral dilemmas such as the trolley problem and sacrificing yourself for others and whether morally questionable actions make someone a bad person. also leslie odom jr shows up at one point so thats cool. there r sprinkles of religious guilt in later episodes AND RELIGIOUS IMAGERY WITH THE SNAKE GUY LEMME TELL U ABOUT THE SNAKE GUY!!!

the yellow guy with the snake face is deceit and he's c!thomas' capacity for deception and lies (and as an extension he's a sort of self preservation instinct he's very cool i love him his debut episode is MY FAVOURITE) and i love him. sneaky snake man <3 will not say his actual name bc that's revealed in a much later episode but i love him so so mmuch. the sarcasm. THE SASS. he is one of my fav sides along with virgil and logan (i just like the left brain boys idk what kinda crack thomas put in them but im addicted)

THE MUSTACHE GUY BASICALLY IS A CARTOON VILLAIN!!! HE HAS A WHOLE ASS MUSICAL NUMBER IN HIS DEBUT EPISODE. HE'S AMAZING. his name is remus (which isn't rly a spoiler bc he says his name like ten minutes after showing up) and he's so fucking funny i love him. due to Religious Upbringing and Catholic Guilt c!thomas has like 2 sides of his creativity, one side is Roman and the other is Remus, and remus is like c!thomas' intrusive thoughts and also his darker imagination like dirty jokes and interests in darker subject matter (he's got a wide range of Things that he does but he's mostly been shown as a representation of intrusive thoughts thus far) he's a silly funny guy i think u would love him very very much :33

(also i think the discourse thomas was in at the time was just saying he supported ace ppl while the entire Ace Discourse thing was happening years ago. he hasn't done anything reprehensible, he just suffers from terminal "my fanbase puts me on a moral pedestal and i cannot possibly hope to live up to it and every action is scrutinized unfairly" disease. like ranboo!!! sry for the Rant sanders sides has gotten young me thru some tough shit and it holds a v special place in my heart. if u want the full series playlist i can send it 2 u :3)

OHHHHH this sounds like exactly the kind of thing that 14 yr old me would have eaten up ljke a big ol bowl of cereal. oh this shit is so good. ok maybe i will watch it. for teenage mac. i will do it for her. this surely will not give me any mental illnesses whatsoever (<< EXTREMELY pos)

i like the vibes of snake guy just from that otgw video.... he feels like. reluctantly redeemed villain that now just kinda hangs around like a weird uncle. i love that in a man . also snake imagery slaps always

I WOULD FOR SURE LOVE THE PLAYLIST <3 if i get insane abt this im 100% blaming you tho hehehehehehe

[netfleecking]

july watches 🎬

1. descendants: rise of red

2/10.

very poor storytelling abilities created this story.

i love musicals, but the characters actually broke off into song for absolutely no reason throughout the film (e.g. rapping dialogue that could just have been dialogue)

they spent half the movie on intro, and then kind of forgot they had to write a good climax or conclusion

hated their decisions with how to use their cast (which i thought wasnt bad). why uliana and not ursurla? since when was morgana a popular disney villain? why did hook and morganas kid have no personality? why is chloe so boring?

2. taskmaster: series 4, series 8, series 9, CoC 1, CoC 3, series 15

• series 9: 10/10. very strong cast. almost everyone filled a specific niche of comedy that was thoroughly entertaining and enjoyable. the cast also played off each other very well. ed gamble, in particular, is an absolute riot.

• series 4: 9/10. genuinely the most wholesome cast. they werent the wildest or most competitive, but their vibe was so pure and sweet its wholesome to watch. mel and hugh are huge softies. noel and joe are the chaotic cousins, and lolli the youngest.

• series 15: 7/10. i didnt expect to like series 15 as much as i did. casting was okay, though not particularly interesting. a stand-out cast member is ivo graham who had me laughing until my sides hurt. not a particularly memorable series, but not bad

• series 8: 5/10. ambivalent series for me, because i loved joe thomas' odd personality, but lou sanders and iian sterling made it unbearable sometimes. lou was genuinely annoying, and i had to skip through MANY scenes of her whining and being bratty. ian was wayy too competitive and aggressive. but at least he toned it down after seeing himself be that way on the big screen.

3. taskmaster NZ: series 2

• 10/10. i never wanted to watch any taskmaster spin offs after watching taskmaster US a few years back, but series 2 of TM-NZ might rank as one of the best series ever, even when up against TM-UK

• the cast and chemistry was excellent. they also had many memorable taskd like "find alex", the never-ending "float a brussel sprout" and "milk jugs on the microwave". i cant go a day without thinking about guy's greenscreen date with paul.

• i applaud the casting of jeremy and paul, too. for they were able to set the tone true to the original TM, while not exactly copying greg and alex. paul is a lot more quippy and sarcastic, and jeremy more deadpan. but all enjoyable, nonetheless

[foreverydinger]

Sammy's Swynwrimo: SWYNRP Character Wishlist

Disclaimer 1: As always I will not be including fcs because I certainly do not have any skill with fcs! I leave that to the PROFESSIONALS (like Mak)! Disclaimer 2: These haven't changed much over the years so I'm sorry! lol

Characters I Wanna See People Write Because I Wanna Interact With Them So Bad Pretty Pretty Please:

Barley Lightfoot: Listen, usually I'd put him in the list of characters I want to play because I've been tempted to pick up Barley for literal years but I feel like I probably shouldn't pick up Barley with Tony and Ian being solidified as soulmates so I'm begging pleading on my KNEES for one of you to get him so I can throw your future brother-in-law at them and Ian's mentor who I've been headcanoning treats BARLEY like a psuedo-mentor in the Magick History Department AND Riley, your psuedo-cousin! C'moooon!

Bingham “Bing” Boggs: Inside Out Characters FTW!! Listen, this idea is so bright and fun and I want to throw Martin at him and absolutely obviously Riley! It's just so fun please bring me Bing Bong 😭

Wade Ripple: Wade's energy really captivates me. I don't think I'd be able to do him justice but I have been obsessed with this sobbing mess since my first watch through of Elemental. I can see Riley or Martin (depending on age) also being drawn to his energy. Might drive Tony nuts depending but.

Keaton “Buster” Palmerteri: Listen, we ALL know I'm a Sequels Bitch and Buster has always been one of those characters I hate to love and love to hate. Just the Big Bully energy mixed with him also being a werewolf? The power that that could bring? Very fun!

James P. Sullivan: Who doesn't love a demon? Especially one who wants to pass for human but has to use their monstrous side to survive? The nuance! The dichotomy! I wanna see him!!

Characters Sammy Wants To Play & You Should Take Away From Me Please Oh Please Save Me From Myself:

Stiles Sanders Experiment 626: I've only been staring at this skeleton since I joined in 2020. I feel like Stiles' story can go so many ways! He's definitely got some Super Shit going on after the experiments but ultimately he wants to just be a person! And the amnesia? I mean please!

William Conner: Similar vibes to the above but!! Human Robot!! Human ROBOT!!! He grew too much sentience after an upgrade and now he wants to be a Real Boy! Why would you not wanna be involved here?!!?

Princess Atta Flutterwing of Swynlake Hollow: Okay this is a very recent addition to the Box of Potentials but the potential is still there! The idea of finding a human apartment because the Queen has decreed you need to understand humans which means you're essentially On Your Own for the first time in your whole life? Yes, of course, you can visit home but it's a whole change in the dynamics if you're visiting rather than living there. A coming of age story! Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift ANYONE!??!

Eve Harper: My concept for Eve is very different than the skeleton, admittedly. I can see Eve walking through the world with her OCD first as an adversary then as a way to look at things from other angles. I always picture her as a sorcerer (Divination Specialty) with the gift of Prophecy that makes her obsessions and compulsions all that more complicated to navigate. Just knowing she can do good with these gifts but also knowing that it's not quite as reliable as people might think.

Pearl Beck: The idea of this bright and bubbly cecaelia is really fun! The other two are evil (love you Ursula and Morgana) and Pearl just desperately wants to be accepted. Nowhere that has claimed to be 'Magick Friendly' has ever truly allowed her to stay because of the stigma of her abilities but she doesn't let it get her down!

[hetaliangrasshopperqueen]

Okay I have thoughts and idk where else to put them so here they go on this hellsite.

Hi! I'm a huge fan of Thomas Sanders and have been with Sander Sides since the first video. And I have to say I am becoming extremely disappointed with Thomas's content, specifically Sander Sides in general.

Now you might be thinking, Em, it's Thomas's content, he can make whatever he wants without your input. And I would say, you're right! Thomas can do whatever he wants.

But we all know that Sander Sides is his big thing. His claim to youtube fame and what have you. The fact that the video that came out today was an AD, for something that we already knew about because of Twitter and Instagram, puts a very sour taste in my mouth.

He didn't need to film a Sander Sides video for this.

He could have easily posted a series of photos on Instagram of the Sides posing with their plushies. But he decides to drop a suprise premier on us, not give us a title, and hype us all up because he knows we are all waiting on the season finale. It may not have been his intent, because Thomas isn't that kind of malicious creator, but that is what it read like to me.

The last time we got a Sander Sides CANON video (not a sanders aside because Thomas has stated that those aren't plot relevant) was 2 years ago with Putting Others First.

And okay, you could argue that Working through Intrusive Thoughts was super plot relevant even though it was a Sanders Aside. That was 1 year ago.

I understand that it takes a while to get content filmed. But if it's going to take you 2 or 3 years for the next Canon Sander Sides video to post, tell us. Give us a heads up that there going to be a little hiatus of Sander Sides content. Don't dangle a treat in front of us, and never let us have it.

Not to mention that everything monetary that Thomas puts out is super expensive. I'm an adult who works full time and I still can't afford an $85 Christmas sweater, let alone a $30+ plushie. Even the Patreon bugs me a little bit, but I can do a whole other post on that.

I just wish Thomas would communicate with us a bit more frequently about Sander Sides. It's why he has such a big following. I'm happy that he is pursuing other ventures, like Roleslaying with Roman, getting back into creating music, and the photoshoots he's been doing. But he has to realize that the more he puts off Sander Sides, the more fans he loses.

I have watched so many of my favorite fanaritsts and fic writers say that they won't post anymore Sander Sides content because of this drought that we are in.

This post is not to bash Thomas in anyway. I think he is a wonderful person and is a light that we need in these dark times. Hell, hes one of the reasons I actually had the guts to come out. I just wish that the Sides would be more of a priority for him, because to me, as a fan of his, it seems like he's dropping the ball.

I miss this Fandom. I miss what it was.

I miss the boys so much. And I'm getting tired of waiting year after year for them. They have gotten me through some dark times, especially the love of my life Logan.

I'm just tired. And it makes me sad that I am starting to get tired of waiting.

TL;DR: I'm frustrated with the space of time between Sander Sides videos, and the fact that the most recent one we got was an AD for products we already knew about.

[noperopesaredope]

Fics That I Really Like A Lot

So, I just wanted to make a post uplifting some really great fics I’ve read/am subscribed to or still keeping up with. I like to let people know about other creators, and I just wanted to mention some works I think people should check out.

(Note, this post was made on Sep 2, 2021, so when I say something is recent, I mean compared to when I made this post)

Tangled the Series Fics (Mostly Varian Fics):

Walls of Stone (Finished)

Varian and Whumptober 2020 (Series) (Finished) (Sidenote; I really like this author in general, but there is just so much great whump and extreme angst in this series! Says they are but a humble freshman, but I say they are a very skilled freshman!)

How Pneumonia Stopped a Stubborn Alchemist from Descending into Villainy (Finished)

Screw Treasure, I got Trauma (Finished)

Tangled One-shots (Series) (Finished? I Think?)

Voluntary Manslaughter (Finished)

I’ll Always Lend an Ear (Finished)

Drown Your Past, Burn your Future (Series) (Unfinished, but still going strong)

Scars of a Child (Series) (Unfinished)

Unrelenting Silence (Finished)

Where was the happily ever after? (Finished? Unsure)

All our Dreams (Down the Drain) (Unfinished)

Not All Falling Stars Grant Wishes (Finished)

Alchemy Lullaby (Series) (Finished)

Insignificant (Finished)

Second Chances (Almost finished)

The Pawn Decides Its Fate (Finished)

Unsaid Emily (Finished)

Today, Today (Finished)

The Pride in Your Eyes (Unfinished, but still somewhat new)

Monster (Finished)

You Are Enough (Finished)

An Alchemist’s World (Unfinished, but the first four chapters could definitely work as a standalone fic, so, in my eyes it’s finished)

Too Smart for Your Own Good (Unfinished, going strong)

To find the Sundrop (Unfinished)

There’s More in You (Unfinished)

The Science of Love (Unfinished, going very strong)

Season 2 But Gayer (Unfinished, going strong-ish)

On My Honor (Series) (Unfinished, going extremely strong with consistant updates)

A Prince and His Bodyguard (Series) (Unfinished, going strong)

Rocks, Wolves, and the Moon (Series) (Unfinished, going strong)

Return to Me (Unfinished, going strong)

Perilous Night (Unfinished, possibly discontinued, but worth a bit of the read)

Nomad (Unfinished, author is working on multiple projects, so IDK)

No Reward for Second Place (Unfinished, but fairly new and somewhat well updated)

Oath of the Lawbreaker (Unfinished, possibly discontinued)

New Quest for Varian (Unfinished, fairly new)

My Dear Son (Unfinished)

Insignificant (Finished)

Indentured (Unfinished, same author as Nomad)

Enter the mind, remove the sins (Unfinished, going pretty strong)

Darkness exists to make the light truely count (Unfinished, going strong. Updated about every month or two, with consistency)

Creeping Crystals (Unfinished, but going somewhat strong)

Blood of My Brother (Unfinished, going as one of the strongest in its fast updates)

Cyclorama (Finished) (Companion to Blood of My Brother)

Chemistry in Motion (Unfinished)

Away from Home (Unfinished)

Alone? (Unfinished-ish)

It’s just a mild inconvenience (Unfinished, possibly discontinued)

Gauze in the Wound (Unfinished, pretty consistent last I checked)

Blood Makes the Knife Holy (Series) (Unfinished, but each part could work as their own fics, and it’s still going)

A Progression of Events (Unfinished)

He Needs Me (Unfinished, going strong)

Or So They Though (Unfinished, going pretty strong)

The Long Road Back to Home (Unfinished, hasn’t been updated in a bit, but is pretty long and each chapter could take about a couple months to finish, and even longer if the creator is stuck/has other fics. Still worth the read)

The Road Home (Different) (Unfinished)

Reunion at Sea (Unfinished, going strong)

Elements of Angst (Unfinished, probably updated soon)

Arson (Unfinished, every time it think that maybe it’s been discontinued, it comes back)

Unconventional Family (Unfinished, possibly discontinued)

To find the Sundrop (Unfinished)

Wayward AU (Comic) (Unfinished, pretty consistent)

RWBY (Mainly Oscar Fics):

It’s Venomous (Finished)

Will you stand and be brave or be broken? (Finished)

Oscar Gets Himself a Coat (Finished)

Who You Belong To (Finished)

Imperfect Light (Finished)

Shell (Finished)

Blood on Both Hands (Finished)

Tell Me that I am a Fool (Finished)

If i believed in destiny i'd have to hunt it down and punch it in the face (Series) (Unfinished, can have the occasionally long hiatus, but the creator comes back)

Is Oscar okay? no but the answer is b (Finished)

Running From Memories (Finished)

Rescue Me (Unfinished)

Souls of Love and Bravery (Unfinished, relatively consistent updates)

Revert To Last Save File (but it's the wrong file) (Unfinished, but still going)

Broken Body and Souls (Finished)

Camp Camp:

David’s Family (Unfinished, possibly discontinued)

Horror Camp (A little too much child whump for me, but it’s very whumpy) (Unfinished)

Inconvenience (Unfinished)

Still Here (One of my favs) (Finished)

Hetalia (Mainly America and Canada Centric):

Recovering the Broken Pieces (Unfinished, possibly discontinued)

Hetalia 2020 - WWIII and more (Unfinished)

(More fics in the crossover section)

She-ra (Quite a few Kyle ones):

The Chronicles of Kyle (Unfinished)

Sunflowers (Finished)

She-Ra: In the Wake (Unfinished)

Princesses and co. work through their issues (Unfinished)

What is Heard (Cannot be Unheard) (Finished)

Long Way Home (Unfinished)

The Hollowed of Etheria (Discontinued. For now at least. Author might revamp it)

Hordak and the Orphans of the Horde (Unfinished)

Big Sis (Finished)

Ex-Horde (Finished? Pretty good on its own though)

Prisoner of Conscience (Unfinished, still going strong)

Tales of Arcadia (Mostly Douxie Fics):

The Immortal Bonds (Unfinished, going strong)

I Can Make RotT So Much Worse (Unfinished, going strong)

Not After 900 Years (Finished)

A Different Path (Finished)

Half-Remembered (Finished)

Shattered Timelines (Unfinished, going strong)

In the Fullness of Time (Unfinished, updated recently)

One Last Time (Unfinished, updated recently)

Tales of Arcadia Watch Trollhunters: Rise of the Titans (Unfinished)

Crossover Fics:

Sold (TTS/HtTYD) (Finished) (Author is really good at angsty oneshots that should be made into full fics)

Varian’s Mysterious Transport (TTS/Infinity Train) (Unfinished, unexpected updates)

Of Rocks and Robots (TTS/Big Hero Six) (Series) (Unfinished, very consistent)

(Like the moon) I'll sway the tide and lead you astray (TTS/HtTYD) (Unfinished, haven’t read in a while)

Heathers and other fandoms react to stuff (Multifandom Crossover Fanfiction) (Unfinished, confusing update schedule, not every fandom gets much spotlight, still incredibly fun)

Chemistry in Motion (TTS/Big Hero Six) (Unfinished)

The Weight of Both Worlds (Hetalia/RWBY) (Series) (Finished) (My favorite fic ever)

Infinity (Hetalia/BNHA) (Unfinished, possibly discontinued)

G8 china in UA, 1-S class! (Hetalia/BNHA) (Unifinished, possibly dicontinued)

That Which Makes Up This Land (Hetalia/ATLA) (Unfinished, author is editing and reposting all their series, which could take about a year, but it will be back)

A Waterbending Quirk (ATLA/BNHA) (Unfinished, going strong)

Other Fics:

Earth is Odd Enough (Sanders Sides) (Unfinished)

UA Faculty Tiktok OCs (BNHA) (Webtoon) (Check out https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63lWYueDsek&t=208s, she’s amazing) (Unfinished. The Tiktoks, on the otherhand, are very much still going)

Harry Potter and the Lack of Lambsauce (Harry Potter) (Finished)

Grinch x Tony the Tiger (You know) (Unfinished)

Flowey is Not a Good Life Coach (Undertale) (Finished)

It Wears a Mask (MCU Spiderman) (Finished)

A Different Fate (Harry Potter) (Finished)

A crack in the glass (eye) (ATLA) (Finished)

Identity Saga (MCU Spiderman) (Series) (Unfinished, author is very dedicated to fic and is incredibly determined to finish it, so highly unlikely to be discontinued)

Bakery Enemies AU (Miraculous Ladybug) (Comic) (Unfinished, going strong)

Authors I Like:

AquaQuadrant aka @aquaquadrant (probably know them if you’re in the Varian fandom. Ridiculously talented)

bethhigdon (in the TTS fandom and the Big Hero Six fandom, but also other stuff)

Cate_9xBlue aka @cate-9xblue (known best for their TTS fics)

Royalsciencenerd (Writes amazing TTS Varian fics)

HoneyxMonkey aka @honeyxmonkey (Writes TTS fics and talks a lot about Tales of Arcadia on their blog. Has some great ideas)

Sand_wolf579 (Has a large and varied catalogue)

ExploretheEcccentricities aka @exploretheeccentricities (Lots of TTS fics)

ShadowSnowdapple aka @shadowsnowdapple (RWBY Oscar fics that are amazing)

Widowfics (Great TTS writer)

AMax76 (Wrote the amazing Blood of My Brother)

violetsaren_tblue (has some great TTS fics I like)

Time Traverser (Excellent Hetalia America and Canada Fics)

Aloneintherain aka @captainkirkk (Just started reading their stuff, SO many excellent Spider-Man fics)

So yeah, just giving some appreciation for all the fic creators out there and their creations!

[snowdice]

Little Kestrel (Part 37) [Birds of Different Feathers Series]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Logan & Patton & Virgil (future Virgil/Patton but not in this story)

Characters:

Main: Logan, Patton, Virgil

Appear: Thomas

Mentioned: Janus

Summary:

It was supposed to be a quick job either way. Either Virgil would assassinate King Thomas of Prijaznia or he’d be caught and get executed. Yet, when Virgil gets the wrong bedroom and gets caught by Prince Logan and his future royal advisor, Patton, the job ends up getting way more complicated for the 14-year-old. He also ends up sleeping in a (actually pretty comfortable) closet for a few weeks…

Notes: Implied/referenced child abuse, assassination attempt, knives, torture mentioned, captivity, teenagers being really dumb, sexual coercion of minors implied, a minor offering sexual favors

This is a prequel to Kill Dear. I wrote it 100 words at a time on my blog, but this is the edited version. If you want to see how it was crafted (and possibly some future content), look at the tag proofread stories.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36

Virgil had not spent much time out of Logan’s room. What little time he had spent outside of it was either with Patton and/or Logan or tucked away in secret corridors he found in the walls where no one would stumble upon him. Yet, here he was willingly in a, well, not public by any means place, but one that was still more exposed than he was used to being in. Somehow, he was managing to not care at all.

It was helped by the fact that both Logan and Patton had been in the room at the start, but they had gone off to go… somewhere. Food sounded like it might have been the reason. He liked food, and usually he would have been all for going to get some, but between them promising to bring him back some and the fact that he was never going to move ever again, he’d decided to stay.

Princess Marisol seemed to be the only other rational being in the whole castle because she had also not moved since discovering the contents of this room. She was currently laying on his chest purring happily.

The fireplace was a wonderful invention. Now, Virgil had, of course, warmed up by a fire before when it was cold, but this was much different. There was a grate that blocked off the fire a bit keeping it from burning the person in front of it and there was a plush rug right by it, perfect for laying down on. Someone had known what they were doing when designing this room.

He didn’t even care that the king had access to this sitting room as well as Logan.

…

Okay, so he did care a little bit, but he was ignoring that. He was probably busy this time of day anyway, right?

…

He really didn’t want to run into him after being caught watching the castle workers set up the bigger fireplaces. Kings probably didn’t like people sneaking around watching things from the shadows even when they didn’t know that the person sneaking around was literally sent to kill them.

Princess Marisol must have had a sixth sense for his anxieties (or he’d just started breathing faster and disturbed her) because she stirred a bit. She started up a calming purr as she moved to gently kneed his chest. “That sort of hurts,” he noted idly as she dug her little paws into his sternum. She responded by purring more. He moved his arm to scratch behind her ear.

Virgil still was feeling a little bit anxious about the fact that he was out in the open, though he very much did not want to leave the room with the nice fire, and Patton and Logan would be back soon anyway. He should find some way to distract himself, and, well, the best way to distract himself was to investigate his environment, and it had the added benefit of making him feel safer.

He carefully turned to his side to gently deposit Princess Marisol on the rug. She gave an insulted ‘mew,’ but quickly forgot her ire to sprawl across the ground with her belly to the fireplace. Virgil got to his feet and eyed the room as a whole.

It was fancy, to be sure, but a lot more homely than he’d expect a room in the royal wing to be. Logan’s bedroom was much more extravagant than this. It was closer to what he’d expect in the home of a financially stable, but not well-off family’s home both in contents and décor.

There was a nice, but older looking couch that was probably older than Logan, perhaps even older than the king. It was huge though and comfy looking. It had two chairs that weren’t quite matching but were close enough and a table in front of it that had slightly chipped wood. A seemingly random set of pillows was on it, none quite matching the rest, but all sort of earthy browns and greens. There were bookshelves stuffed with books of all different shapes and sizes, and a giant painting of a turkey of all things over the fireplace. The fireplace itself was probably the fanciest thing in the room.

Most of the fireplace was made out of bricks, though it had a wooden outline a good distance from the fire, and there was an ornate iron grate in front of it with pretty little leaf designs. On top of the mantle were little figurines that grabbed Virgil’s attention. They were small little pieces of wood that had been carved into animals. Some were painted and some left the wood to be exposed. There were a good number of horses, but there were also things like rabbits and birds. There was even a few creatures Virgil did not recognize himself. They ranged in size from only about as big as his thumb to as big as his hand.

He leaned closer to take a better look at them, careful to keep his legs away from the hot iron grate, though he could still feel the intense heat from how close he was. He did not dare touch them. The room may seem like it did not belong in a castle, but it still was in one, and who knows how expensive or important the little figures were.

He settled his chin on the edge of the mantel, getting as close to the decorations as he dared, his eyes locked on a little robin that had been painted orange and grey with a bright yellow beak and eyes that almost looked alive.

He spent a good minute staring at the wooden creature, before finally drawing back.

“They’re nice, aren’t they?” a voice asked, and Virgil just about jumped onto the ceiling, but there weren’t any good footholds, and the ceiling wasn’t very high besides and wouldn’t give much cover. “And that is why I waited until you stepped back,” the same voice said and perhaps it sounded a bit amused, but Virgil was not focusing on that.

“S-sorry,” he stuttered, cringing back. Why did he always have to be screwing something up when the king came upon him. Why did the universe hate him?

“Oh, it’s okay,” the king said. He was still by the door, having only paused outside of the room instead of coming in. “You weren’t doing anything wrong.”

He certainly had been doing something wrong even if he was allowed to get that close to little things that seemed so fragile (which he almost definitely wasn’t) or be in one of the royal rooms without Patton or Logan in sight. Virgil had come here to kill this man even if he didn’t know it. He was an assassin in one of the private royal chambers. If the king had any idea, Virgil would be dead

He made as though to take a step into the room, but he paused when he saw Virgil take a step back and grimaced. “I’ll, uh, just be going,” he said. “You can stay. You can look at the figurines all you want.”

Virgil looked at the man’s feet and didn’t say anything. He hoped he didn’t take that as an insult.

“Okay,” the king said. “Goodbye.”

He walked off then, likely to his own private room. When the footsteps faded, Virgil bent down to pick up Princess Marisol, who meowed her complaints at being pulled from the fire. He snuck quietly back into Logan’s room.

Logan and Patton found him in the closet 10 minutes later.

Want to read more? Click below!

Part 38 Part 39 Part 40 Part 41

Birds of Different Feathers Master Post

My Masterpost

[moxiety-my-love]

My thoughts while watching the new Sanders Asides video

Intro: ooh, there's some warnings, so we know this is gonna be a spicy one

0:19- WTF WAS THAT ASIDES LOGO MAGI THING?? I LOVE IT.

0:26- remus' theme, very exciting

0:49- i'm glad to know that thomas is just as awkward as i am when texting lol. also, HE'S TEXTING NICO!!

0:52- logan!! the boy!! also, i think this is the first time we've seen one of the sides rise up in thomas' bedroom? not super exciting, but i thought it was interesting.

1:06- i absolutely would have laughed at '69' as well. sorry, logan.

1:33- i also have a 5am and 2pm version of myself, dw thomas.

1:43- rolling out of bed that way is SO damn satisfying. couldn't relate more.

2:14- logan, you're so cute. i love how he gets so excited about his schedule.

3:54- why is thomas turning old?? remus, what did that trap do?

4:00- it's nico! in real life! not cartoon!

4:12- oh, and ancient thomas is here too. that's fun.

4:18- how long has it been since remus has made a video appearance? since the first asides video, which was probably over a year ago? remus stans are quaking rn.

4:45- i just noticed the carrot emoji next to nico's name in thomas' phone and that is such a tiny detail and reference but it's so cute

5:31- remus, you bastard. also, a pin in the food feels kind of simultaneously evil but also below your standards.

5:59- KCUM

6:18- remus there are so many people in this fandom that you turn on, it's so not okay. also, i'm so here for the sexual innuendos.

6:35- it doesn't even surprise me that logan would ruin the updog joke

7:21- roomba on the loose, what crimes will it commit?

7:51- i like how the picture frames went blank; it's a nice detail. reminds me of when hermione's parents' pictures went blank in deathly hallows part two.

8:12- SHAPES AND COLOURS

8:49- roomba has committed a murder

9:22- ROOMBA HAS COMMITTED A LEGITIMATE MURDER

9:34- remus is allergic to soap confirmed

9:44- ok ok. i have a theory. one of the times that thomas' phone buzzes, he's going to pick it up thinking it's a chore alarm, but it's actually going to be nico.

10:04- pirate remus!!

10:11- patton would love the bratwurst pun

11:37- okay i'm here for the rube goldburg traps, but come on, remus. all that was way too much work to freak out thomas. just prank phone call the guy and that would be enough to send him into a panic.

11:56- being that he was in the closet for many years, thomas definitely knows that closets aren't sentient, logan.

12:19- is that supposed to be remus shapeshifting as nico? am i crazy?

14:16- okay so it wasn't nico. it was some random murderer. also, remus has a knife kink confirmed?

15:08- lovely singing

15:18- REMUS, YOU SAUCY BOY. intrulogical shippers are shaking right now.

16:05- can confirm, emergency ketchup does not seem like a necessity.

16:10- solanum lycopersicum!!

17:57- so he was shapeshifting as nico! i think this is the first side to do this other than janus.

18:55- what the fuscia?

19:02- vibey music

19:14- i just had a visceral reaction to logan saying "shake what your mama gave ya"

20:00- okay so i don't think remus was actually shapeshifting, he just created a fake nico as far as i can tell.

20:59- lol the butt scratching. reminds me of a dog.

21:15- wtf. tongue lollipop?

21:24- cruncy bug

21:55- ignoring dummies for dummies. are nerds in blue ties bothering you? iconic.

22:12- WHAT DID I JUST WITNESS? orange eyes obviously have to symbolize the orange side, right? and since logan was angry, maybe this adds fuel to the flame of the idea that the orange side is rage/anger?

22:21- checking your breath before answering a phone call is absolutely something i would do

22:42- nico! the boy is calling! he's so cute. also, i love the reference to the "Mr." thing they did in the last video.

23:50- logan is sad boy :( but go thomas! go get your man!

24:02- what? that's it? what a place to end off at!

24:45- it wouldn't be a sanders sides video without a hello fresh ad

25:05- i love that he has their number saved omg

26:19- bye thomas!

26:27- patton's here!!

26:34- and roman!!

26:43- and virgil! my FAVOURITE boy!

26:50- oh, logan. you deserve all the influence.

2720- ooh, virgil? some resentment?

27:55- thomas is officially in his feels

28:08- janus is here too! which makes this the first video to include all the sides, if i'm not mistaken. also, what's with the mysterious music?

28:21- the orange eyes again! damn!

Final Thoughts:

As always, I'll bey opinion. Nico and Thomas are so cute, and I'm happy we got to see more of them together. I was also excited to see that we got all of the sides in one video, finally, though I'm still waiting for some onscreen interaction between Janus and Remus. The ending was super ominous, so I'm curious as to what's in store for the future. And as you all could tell, I was clearly very interested in the possibility of being introduced to the orange side. I can't wait to see everyone's theories and such.

As always, I'll be tagging spoilers for 7 days after the posting of this video, and I hope you all will too! I'll be using the tags "ts spoilers" and "sanders sides spoilers" respectively.

[naminethewriter]

America’s Favourite Gameshow!!

Day 2 and I’m still on track! It’s way too late though and I hope I get done with the other prompts sometime before 12am 😴 Anyway, have fun with this silly little fluff story 💙💚🥰 @intrulogicalweek2021

Here on Ao3

Masterpost | Intrulogical Week 2021 Masterpost

Characters: Remus, Logan

Relationship: romantic Intrulogical

Rating: G

Words: 1,480

Summary:  Logan just wanted to make sure his boyfriend ate something. Remus wants entertainment more.

Logan walked along the halls of Remus’ castle in search of his boyfriend who had run off after breakfast to continue some project of his. Now, hours later, Logan wanted to ensure that he had eaten since then because while they didn’t require to eat, considering they were just figments of Thomas’ overactive subconscious, it had proven to be beneficial to their wellbeing as well as Thomas’. It had taken Logan almost a year of research to come to that conclusion but it had been well worth the effort.

 But both sides of Creativity were prone to forgetting the passage of time while working on one of their passion projects, hence Logan’s decision to check on Remus this afternoon. He had already looked through most of the grounds and was now on his way up into a tower. It was pretty much separated from the rest of the castle and nobody but Logan and the Duke himself had access and Remus spend a lot of time up there doing whatever he wants without disturbance. The only reason that Logan had put off checking there first is because he disliked the long, long staircase leading up. About three fourth of the way up, Logan could hear cluttering sounds, so it seemed reasonable to assume his search would soon be over.

After another five minutes of climbing he finally reached the top, only one door separating him from whatever mess Remus has caused this time. Logan took a few deep breaths before pushing it open.

 Pure Chaos laid before him. He couldn’t even begin to describe it. Furniture overturned and broken. Paint or something colourful had gotten everywhere. Glass shards, papers, confetti, everything scattered randomly around the room and Remus in the middle of it.

 Logan didn’t even attempt going any further in. Instead he called out to his boyfriend who turned to face so fast, his head rotated more than it should with a sickening crack.

 “Lolo!” he grinned, pulling his head back into the right position before climbing over the rubble to the door. As soon as he got into touching distance he wrapped himself around Logan in a tight hug. His boyfriend just patted his arm until he let go. “What brings you here, starshine? You horny?” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, causing Logan to roll his eyes.

 “No Remus, I am not horny. I simply came to check on you since I haven’t seen you since breakfast.”

 “Ah shit, is it already evening? Damn time flies when you’re busy, huh.”

 “What were you doing in the first place? This entire room is a mess.” Logan immediately regretted asking when he saw the smile spreading across his boyfriend’s face. “No, Remus, please-“

 Too late.

 Remus snapped and suddenly there was a spotlight on the two of them, two more swinging across the room that was now notably darker. Some kind of jingle started playing and an invisible audience started applauding. Remus, now in a suit, brought a microphone to his mouth.

 “Ladies and Gentlemen! You have waited patiently and now it is finally time to play America’s favourite gameshow! It’s” – the fake audience yelled along the next words –

 “Art or Science!”

 “The rules are simple,” Remus continued alone. “Our returning champion, Logan ‘Logic’ Sanders, has five minutes to survey the room and then he has to decide: did I cause this chaos in the name of Art or Science! He is allowed to ask me three things to specify, not one hint more. Our contestant has a success rate of 66% so far and I’m sure we are all curious to see the result of our fourth episode of-!” Remus held the mic away from him and again the imaginary audience shouted:

 “Art or Science!”

 “Now, Logan. Are you ready to start?” Remus held out the mic to Logan this time who groaned and levelled him with an unimpressed glare.

 “Is this really necessary, Cephy?” Remus laughed and threw his arms open.

 “Of course not, but it’s fun so we’re doing it!” Logan massaged his temple. Ever since Thomas had taken to binge watching SNL sketches on YouTube, Remus had been practically enthralled with their game show parodies. Especially if Bill Hader (Remus’ favourite cast member) played the host. His top spot shifted between ‘What’s that Name?’ and ‘Who’s on Top’ every five minutes and Logan couldn’t deny that the chaos of those concepts fit Remus very well, so it should be no surprise that he thought of his own little show. It just annoyed Logan that he was the only contestant ever having to deal with it.

 Well, at least it was short. He could play along for five minutes.

 “Fine, start the clock.” Remus cheered, as did the audience, and the light returned to how it was before, with the entire room evenly lit.

 “As always, please don’t hesitate to give us play-by-play commentary on your thought process, Sherlock,” Remus giggled and Logan nodded absentmindedly, already scanning the room for clues. He took the first minute to simply think and his boyfriend let him but Logan knew he would grow impatient eventually.

 “Clearly there is both art supplies as well as lab equipment present and I have witnessed you using both for the others intended purpose, so that does not provide any essential hints. The furniture is mostly broken and out of place. Especially that table that seems to be hanging out the window and only hangs on with one leg anchored inside. The glass was most likely smashed by said table. This could point to a possible explosion that resulted after a failed experiment, favouring science as its cause. Though again, I have seen you set off an explosion to create an art piece of yours so it is not concrete proof either.” Remus nodded along to his descriptions and a spotlight also shone on the areas he talked about.

 “Now for my first question, I would like you to confirm whether the dark red substance in that corner is blood or not.”

 “It’s not, though I tried my best to get it to smell the same.” Logan nodded, again falling silent for a moment to think. The quiet was broken by a croak and something moved though it was hidden enough that Logan couldn’t quite make it out.

 “You used live specimen. Not unheard off for your art but more common with experiments. Especially frogs.”

 “Toads, not frogs actually.”

 “I can tell apart a frog croaking and toad doing the same, Remus. That sound was a frog.”

 “Nah, you see, I like how toads look better but frogs sound more appealing, so I made a toad that croaked like a frog.”

 “Fascinating. Could you show it to me later?”

 “Sure! Also that counts as your second questions.” Logan glared at his boyfriend for a moment but relented.

 “Fine.” He continued to point out other details about the room and whether they pointed towards art or science and soon Remus announced that he had only 30 seconds left. Logan contemplated in his head and came to a decision at the same moment Remus called:

 “Time! Five minutes are up, Ladies and Gentlemen! Now Logan, give us your answer, please!” The room had darkened once again, with a spotlight on Logan and Remus and two others moving around the room.

 “I say it’s art.”

 “Is that your final answer?”

 “Yes, Remus, please do not drag this out any longer.”

 “Yeah, yeah.” He waved his hand around before getting back into character. “His answer is locked in! Now let’s see if he’s right. Is it art?” A drumroll played and then a bang. Even more confetti poured out of the ceiling, along with balloons, the normal, oval ones and those long ones with two of the former tied to one of the latter (I’m sure you can guess what that symbolises, we’re talking about Remus here after all).

 “Coooooooorrrreeeeccccctttt!” Applause roared and Remus threw an arm around his boyfriend, pulling him close. “Another win for our returning champion! With this his success rate is now at 75%! How are you feeling, are you proud?” He held out the mic to Logan, who rolled his eyes.

 “I am alright, now please wrap this up.” Remus giggled but complied.

 “That was it for this episode of-“

 “Art or Science!”

 “See you next time, folks!” And with another snap, things returned to normal, the lights, the sounds and Remus’ outfit. “Wasn’t that fun, starlight?”

 “It was fine, Remus.”

 “You just don’t like admitting it~”

 “No matter, that is not what I came up here for anyway.”

 “Oh yeah, why did you come here?”

 “To ask if you have eaten since breakfast.”

 “Oh, rotten shit, I forgot.”

 “I thought as much. Come on, I secured you some leftovers from lunch and the rest of the hot sauce.”

 “You are the best, moonlight.”

[dukeofonions]

The Problem With Asides

Before I get into anything I want to clarify that this is not going to be a criticism of the two Asides episodes we’ve gotten so far. This is a critique of the concept of Sanders Asides as a separate series from the original Sanders Sides. A second note I want to make is that this is, just as all my other posts are, a personal opinion. This is not meant to be an attack on anyone, just a general criticism from a confused writer and viewer of the show. 

And final disclaimer: A lot of what I’m going to say is based on information that I no longer have available. It’ll mostly be me recalling things I heard and if I at any point get something wrong please feel free to let me know. 

That being said, let’s get into this, shall we? 

(Fair warning this post is very long hence why I’ve divided it into parts so feel free to read then come back as you wish)

Part One: The Concept of Asides

Some time ago last year, I believe shortly after Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts came out, was when the idea for Sanders Asides was first announced. The basic concept of it being shorter, more lighthearted videos focusing on the Sides outside of the main storyline. This format would allow them to give us more Sides content in between the long waits for the main series since those episodes were beginning to take more time to produce. 

Of course, everyone was eager for more Sides, so the majority of people were excited. Not only that but due to the main series tackling heavier themes, the episodes were becoming more angsty with less time for the characters to just relax and goof off with each other. The idea of having episodes reminiscent of the low stakes, sillier, happier content of season one was a welcome break from the more complex episodes and would be a nice return to form for the series. 

We were also informed that these episodes would be much simpler than their main series counterparts and wouldn’t disrupt the work being done on Sanders Sides, which meant we didn’t have to worry about long gaps between the main story episodes, right? 

(Another disclaimer: I am perfectly aware of the main reason why we were not given as much content last year and am not blaming Thomas or the team for doing what was necessary to keep themselves safe and hope they continue to do so as this continues into the new year)

Jump to November 22, 2019, where we got our first official episode of Sanders Asides, roughly five months after DWIT came out. Which, for this fandom, was record time to get more content and I was pleasantly surprised by how quickly they were able to get this out. Though at the same time, I wondered why it took five months to make what was meant to be a short, simple episode. 

So imagine my surprise when I went to watch the episode and saw it was nearly 20 minutes long. Which, okay, isn’t that bad when you compare it to the lengths of the more recent Sanders Sides episodes. But at the time, I was under the impression that the Asides would be, well, much shorter. The longest I expected would be maybe 15 minutes, but you know what? It’s the first episode and it has been a while since we’ve had Sides content, so maybe they wanted to give us a little extra due to the long wait. 

I started the episode and at first, I was overjoyed when I saw the first shot of all the Sides sitting in the living room in their onesies about to have a movie night. This was exactly what I’d been hoping to see from this series! It’s pretty much a staple thing in the fandom for the Sides to have movie nights together, and now it was happening in canon! 

At the moment, I had high hopes for this series and was filled with joy. 

Then that hope and joy were immediately crushed when I realized this was yet just another Virgil-centric angst episode. In fact, this entire episode was, well, exactly like a regular Sanders Sides episode. Sure, there were some jokes here and there, but the tone of the episode was no lighter than the last Sanders Sides episode. If anything DWIT felt lighter in comparison to this one. 

Which leads me to ask, what the heck happened? 

Part Two: Literally the Same Show

At this point in time, we’ve only had two episodes of Asides. Usually, I try to hold off my judgment of a series until I’ve had at least one other episode to see if my original criticisms still stand. 

To be fair, I did think Flirting With Social Anxiety was a step in the right direction. More comedy, a lighter tone, yes. Perfect. But again, just like with Are There Healthy Distractions? This episode quickly dove right back into the angst pool, and just like ATHD it was a pretty long episode, clocking in at almost 25 minutes. 

Not only that but again, both FWSA and ATHD don’t feel any different from the episodes we’ve been getting in Sanders Sides. 

1. They’re just as angsty.

2. Roughly the same length as Sanders Sides episodes.

3. Take about just as long to produce.

4. Contain a lesson to be learned. 

Which, okay, you can have lessons in lighter shows too, but we’re already getting that in Sanders Sides and Sanders Asides was described as, well, being less plot heavy. Yet so far both episodes are still tied in with the main plot. 

ATHD deals with the aftermath of DWIT, not directly but it’s pretty obvious that the whole thing with Virgil’s reveal at the end of that episode is being addressed in the background. Which, kind of takes away the impact of that ending, but I’ll get to that later. 

Then FWSA takes place after Putting Others First and again, is dealing with things from that episode in the background. Again though, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It makes sense to see the characters dealing with things from past events.

So why is it a problem here? Because, again, Sanders Asides is meant to be a separate series, and all the subtext brought on from the episodes in Sanders Sides makes the plots in these two episodes confusing. 

For example, I was perplexed during my first watch of FWSA because I couldn’t understand why the focus of the conflict was lying. I didn’t understand why Virgil and Roman came to the conclusion that Thomas’ reason for being unable to approach Nico was because he was lying to himself, when both the title of the episode and what we were shown points more to, well, social anxiety being the problem. 

(Quick note: One could argue that this was done purposefully to have Virgil putting the blame on Janus since he doesn’t like him and wouldn’t want to admit that he was the one responsible, but this series has had a bad habit of favoring Virgil in the past so until we get more answers I’m gonna leave this on the backburner) 

It didn’t help that I had no idea when this episode was meant to take place in the timeline, and I originally thought it could take place a bit after season two since Roman and Virgil seemed to be doing better, but more on them later.

All of this bugged me until I found out that FWSA takes place after POF, and after watching the live stream that followed and getting some more context, the lying thing made a bit more sense, but the fact that I was as confused as I was just caused more frustration to build up. And I wasn’t the only one who got thrown off by the “Lying is wrong” message of FWSA so I had to ask again, why was this episode a Sanders Asides when apparently, you need information from the last Sanders Sides episode in order to understand it?

So you’re telling me, that the second episode in what is supposed to be a separate series that isn’t meant to be a part of the main plot, is now integral to the plot of the main story you’re telling in what is, as you have said, a separate show? How does that make any sense? 

Okay, one could argue that Thomas getting a love interest doesn’t really fit with the current storyline that’s going on in Sanders Sides, and that is a fair point. The problem with that is, FWSA takes place right after Putting Others First. 

You all remember what happened at the end of that episode, right?

Part Three: Intrusive Plots

At this point we’ve all become rather accustomed to the long waits in between videos, it’s nothing new to us, and for the most part they haven’t done anything to harm the current plot of Sanders Sides. Sure, the length of time between videos can cause people to lose interest, but for the most part the tone of the last three episodes of Sanders Sides hasn’t differed much and the story flow is still going along smoothly. 

Let’s start with Selfishness vs Selflessness, which is the episode that sets up the big climax for season two. It’s still got its jokes and funny moments, but the overall tone is far more serious than previous episodes have been. This carries on into DWIT where Thomas has been so stressed out lately that he’s begun to have trouble with his intrusive thoughts. 

Virgil even gives a pretty good summary of Thomas’ current mental state: “He recently realized he’s a bigger liar than he thought he was, he doesn’t understand himself, he’s committed to skipping a big callback, and he’s sleep-deprived. So yeah, he feels like a piece of dirt who has no control over his life.”

And all that was a direct result of the ending of SVS, despite DWIT not being the direct follow up to that episode the two are still intertwined. Remember that for later.

DWIT ends with the long awaited reveal of Virgil having been a “Dark Side.” Even though the majority of the fandom had figured it out by as early as Can Lying Be Good? That didn’t take away from the emotional gut punch that this scene was and it’s one of my favorite moments from the series. I may have to make a whole post breaking that scene down but what matters is that this scene was a turning point for Virgil’s character.

We’ve seen him trying to hide the truth from Thomas ever since Janus and Remus started popping up, and there were close calls with both of them nearly revealing it themselves and continuously dropping hints to Thomas. Only for Virgil to admit it to Thomas himself, and leave before Thomas can even say a word. 

We don’t know for sure how Thomas is feeling in this moment, but it’s clear he’s been shaken by this. He doesn’t really have a lot of time to process it before he remembers to acknowledge the audience and close out the video. 

This comes up again once we finally get to the monster of an episode that is POF, the follow up to SVS that everyone had been waiting over a year for. Right away we see that Patton and Roman will be at the forefront of this discussion with Logan popping up every now and then, but who doesn’t show up in this episode despite having played a role in SVS? 

Virgil. 

He’s nowhere to be seen and his absence is definitely felt. Why wouldn’t he be part of this discussion? He was there in SVS and had a lot to say on the matter, he was even part of the decision to choose the wedding over the callback! So why wasn’t he there? 

Well, just look at the ending of DWIT and there’s your answer. Of course he isn’t about to show his face after that. Not when Thomas is already under so much stress already and he isn’t sure how Thomas will react to seeing him-

*insert random voice whispering off to the side*

 Wait, Virgil has seen Thomas since DWIT? When? 

*whispers continue*

Oh, right, they interacted in Sanders Asides. How did that go again? 

*whispers explain*

Huh? Thomas said he’s cool with Virgil despite revealing that he’s been hiding something from him this whole time? That “something” being the fact that Virgil was once considered part of the others that were currently making Thomas’ life miserable?

*whispers confirm*

Really? They’re both okay with each other now? Well, good for them. 

So wait, then why didn’t Virgil show up in POF? He was there during the first discussion and honestly he’d have more of a reason to show up than Logan who wasn’t really present at all in SVS. 

*whispers explain* 

He just wasn’t need there? Hm, alright. Guess that makes sense… 

Well okay, Virgil and Thomas are on good terms once POF rolls around, Virgil isn’t present during the conversation because he isn’t needed and I suppose his presence would make things worse. Especially once Janus revealed himself, he wouldn’t allow him to get a word in. Even though Janus could probably silence him but I digress. 

Fast forward towards the ending of POF, remember when I said to remember how SVS and DWIT were connected? Well DWIT is just as important to POF, acting as a bit of bridge between to the two episodes. 

Janus brings up Remus (both directly and indirectly) twice in this episode.

First here:

 Notice how Roman’s breakdown is already being foreshadowed here, the camera focusing on him while “Logan” says this isn’t an accident. 

The second time Remus is brought up is at the very end after Janus has revealed his name:

“Oh, Roman thank God you don’t have a mustache. Otherwise between you and Remus, I wouldn’t know who the evil twin is.” 

(No I am not posting screenshots of this scene I already got emotional over the last one)

As we saw at the end of DWIT, Roman does not have a good relationship with is brother. So much so that when Thomas refers to Remus as such, Roman creates a different analogy that compares Remus to a mirror, reflecting everything Roman doesn’t want to be. 

Roman desperately wants to distance himself from Remus, not wanting anything to do with him. We’ve only gotten a glimpse of just how far this loathing goes, and part of that comes from Roman finally breaking down after being told by Janus that if it wasn’t for a mustache there’d be no difference between him and Remus.

This shook Roman more than anything else in the show has so far, moreso than him being the one to decide that Thomas should give up the callback. He was the one that pushed Thomas to make that decision, believing it was the noble thing to do, only for it to only make Thomas feel worse and then be told by Janus that his “noble sacrifice” was all for nothing. 

Janus, the one who had been supporting Roman throughout SVS, buttering him up and encouraging him to go after his dream, told him that his sacrifice was worthless. Then to top it all off Janus admits what he did and brushes it off as a joke. He doesn’t apologize to Roman, leaving him in the dust, then when Roman responds by laughing at his name he’s shot down even lower. 

And when he looks to Thomas and Patton for help, for answers, anything.

They stay silent.

Patton tries to reassure him, telling Roman that they love him, but he doesn’t believe it. He sinks out, and that’s the last we see of him.

Selfishness vs Selflessness, Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts, and Putting Others First are three of the biggest (and dare I say most important) episodes in the series. The three almost act like a trilogy, with POF leading to something bigger, the season finale. Which will be culmination of all three of these episodes. 

We’ll be seeing Virgil’s reaction to Janus having been accepted by Patton and facing his own past as a “Dark Side.” Then we’ll find out what has become of Roman after he disappeared at the end of POF, and how it now affects his relationship with Thomas.

*whispers return and begin to whisper*

I’m sorry what?

*whispers repeat*

Virgil already knows about Janus getting somewhat accepted? Well okay I guess he would, wish we could have seen his reaction to that but oh well, no big deal. At least we got the Roman and Thomas confrontation to look forward to. 

*whispers whisper*

Roman has already interacted with Thomas since POF? When?!

*whisper* 

In FWSA? Oh yeah, how did that go again? It was super awkward right? Since Roman doesn’t really trust that Thomas loves or values him?

*whisperly whisper*

They get along just fine as if nothing happened? 

*whispersty*

It looks like he might still be upset with him since he’s being a bit passive aggressive? 

*whisper* 

Can’t really tell because the three are too busy trying to talk to a cute guy at the mall? 

Okay, I guess that all makes sense… 

Looks like Roman and Virgil still aren’t on the best terms with Thomas but are able to push that aside to help him talk to this handsome stranger, and hey, it worked! Thomas now has a boyfriend! Just look at Roman and Virgil at the end, they’re both so happy with Thomas! 

Looks like now they can focus on this new chapter in their life and leave the events of POF behind them. I mean, now that Roman and Virgil seem pretty cool with Thomas it would just feel weird to suddenly have them angry with him again, wouldn’t it?

Part Four: The Problem

Sanders Asides was originally described as being a series separate from the main storyline of Sanders Sides. Promising us shorter, less complicated episodes to give us a little something in between the longer, heavier episodes in Sanders Sides. This was a great idea that ended up falling apart the moment it began. 

When I was going through SVS, DWIT, and POF I mentioned that the three of them felt like a trilogy. All three of them link together to tell one bigger story, and on their own they get the job done. They set up the season finale perfectly to the point where you have an idea of what to expect and what to look forward to. 

The main things being the aftermath of Virgil’s reveal and Roman’s breakdown, which would most likely cultivate in them teaming up against Janus. This would also involve Virgil coming to terms with his past and Roman having to face Remus. 

Of course, none of this has been officially confirmed, but given everything we’ve seen up to this point it just makes sense. 

The story for season two is nearly complete, all we’re missing is the conclusion. 

Then Sanders Asides showed up and threw everything off course. What was supposed to be its own thing crept into a story that was already (for all we knew) set up and being put into place. 

We were told that the Asides wouldn’t do anything to disrupt the flow of Sanders Sides, yet it’s been confirmed that there will be one or two more episodes of Asides before we get the season finale. 

Why? Why are these episodes necessary when everything was set to move forward after POF? If these episodes are that important that they absolutely have to be made before the finale then why are they simply not part of the main series? 

You could say “Well they’re not directly tied to the main plot, that’s why.” But need I remind you that Asides as a concept was just intriduced after DWIT came out? These episodes were written specifcally for Asides, which unless I’m wrong means that they were just added into the main story with no planning whatsoever. 

FWSA honestly feels like it should have been the start of season three, something that should have waited to be introduced after season two wrapped up because it’s just too much. 

We already have so much to unpack from SVS, DWIT, and POF now we also have a new love interest on top of that? 

Virgil and Thomas’ resolution doesn’t even feel all that special because it wasn’t talked about directly between them. Thomas was indirectly letting Virgil know they were still okay, so what does that leave for us? All that build up about Virgil being a “Dark Side” only for it to be brushed over like it was nothing, and this happened in an Asides episode, not even in the main series. 

It also makes Virgil’s absence in POF confusing when they had already set up the perfect reason for him to be absent in DWIT, but according to the first episode of ATHD Virgil and Thomas are okay with each other. Sure, Virgil being there might have made things worse but at that point everyone was making things worse. 

We no longer have a confrontation between Thomas and Roman to look forward to because in FWSA we see them interacting as normal. Even the passive agressiveness isn’t anything new to Roman and really, it all just sounds super petty which he had been known to behave like that even when nothing is seriously wrong. Not only that Roman is overjoyed at the end, having finally gotten something he desperately wanted, the happy ending he deserved.

All that’s left for him is to fave his feelings towards Remus, but what would even happen there?

The problem with Asides isn’t the quality of the episodes, FWSA is actually one of my favorite episodes. The problem with Asides is that the team is taking what should have been something small and turning it into a far too elaborate for what its original purpose was: To give us more lighthearted content to enjoy in between the waits for the heavier episodes.

Instead it just feels like they’re adding onto something that really didn’t need adding on to, creating more work for themselves when it just isn’t necessary, and that worries me.

Final Thoughts

Honestly, it’s hard for me to make all these judgments when no one has any idea what the finale is going to be like. And usually, the team is able to excede my expectations and create something amazing. 

But with all these new Asides episodes that feel like they’re just being crammed in at the last second, it makes me wonder how the rest of the series will go if they continue down this road. 

Season two started September 1st, 2017, it is now January 3rd, 2021. Throughout season two the production of episodes became more elaborate, and there have been complications that arose from trying to make these videos as a result that sent production screeching to a halt. And on top of that, these Sanders Asides have been added to create even more work for Thomas and the team.

I don’t understand why they’d do this to themselves when it’s already become more difficult than ever to make videos in general, not just Sanders Sides. 

We were offered something simple that would have satisfied everyone during the difficult times, only to be given something that honestly, wasn’t even needed. I do appreciate Thomas trying to get us more content, but I don’t think he or the team realizes just how content we’d all be with just a five minute video of the characters we love just doing something as simple as hanging out and having fun, especially with how dark things have become all around us. 

We don’t always have to be watching these characters struggle, sometimes we just need to see them be genuinely happy.

(Thanks to everyone who took time to read this monster of a post, I did not mean for it to get this long but it’s been dwelling on my mind for a while and I wanted to make sure I got out everything I wanted to say. Again, this is all just a personal opinions and you are not obligated to agree with me. If you have an objecting opinion I would not mind hearing it but please keep any discussions civil.)

[imlovethomassanders]

Eyes are the Windows to the Soul(mates) - Chapter 1

You can also read on ao3

Huge thank you to @strongindependentcheesecake​ for beta reading this beast

This work is complete, and new chapters will be added everyday until completion:

Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 (FINAL)

Summary: The lucky few who have a soulmate are born with heterochromia, with their left eye being the color of their soulmate's eyes and their right eye being their own color. Not only was Virgil one of the lucky few to have a soulmate, but he was given four. His left eye changed colors every time he blinked, rotating between his four soulmates' eye colors. His rotating eye colors caused him to be a bit of an outcast growing up, but when he finally leaves for college, things start to fall into place. This is the journey of five strangers finding each other.

Pairings: DLAMP with background Remile

Warnings: None I believe

Words: 3283

Taglist:  @touchstarvedvirgil @lamp-calm-sanders @ninjago2020 @confinesofpersonalknowledge @secret-novelisthost18 @phander-sides @sherlock-lives-on-bakerstreet @bookbingingproblem @viana-dascolli @sharktryingtofly

Virgil stared at himself in the mirror, watching his left eye. Right now it was a light brown so golden it was almost yellow. Virgil blink. His left eye was now a deep shade of blue. He blinked again. Light green. Blinked again. A deep, rich brown. Again. Back to light brown.

Virgil forced back the tears welling up in his eyes as he watched the pattern over and over and over again, all the while his right eye stayed a lighter shade of gray.

The lucky few who had soulmates had heterochromia. Their right eye is their own eye color while their left eye is the color of their soulmate's. Once you and your soulmate meet, your left eye changes into your own eye color.

Virgil was a special case. Soulmates themselves were a rare thing to have. More than one was almost unheard of.

When Virgil was young, his dad pulled out a chair and sat across from him. His dad explained that he had soulmates, and how most people who had soulmates just had one. But it appeared Virgil had four. Virgil stared at his dad.

"What's a soulmate?"

Once Virgil had finally grasped the concept he gasped and ran into the bathroom and blinked rapidly, watching the color of his left eye change.

A couple years later, Virgil noticed his dad would get embarrassed whenever someone brought up Virgil's left eye. He then noticed that other people talked about his eye as if it was abnormal.

Virgil didn't understand. People who had soulmates were usually seen as lucky and were celebrated. He couldn't understand what was wrong with him.

On the first day of school, his teacher gasped in surprise when she first saw Virgil blink. The other kids noticed her reaction, and as kids do as they see, followed in her footsteps and treated Virgil like he was a strange irregularity.

Very quickly Virgil himself grew embarrassed of his left eye. He felt guilty that he felt ashamed over his soulmates, but he couldn't help it. Every time someone noticed his eye color they all gave him the same weird stare. He couldn't stand being forced into the center of attention like that.

Starting in middle school, Virgil started to grow out his bangs to help hide his eyes more.

In high school, Virgil stopped interacting with people as much as to not risk more judgement.

He was an outcast, and all because the universe decided to give him four soulmates.

That's why Virgil so often found himself in the bathroom, watching his eye change color. It was reassuring to watch, knowing that there were actually four people out there that the world promised to him would love and accept him.

Their eyes were so beautiful. Virgil already loved them.

But as much as he yearned to meet his soulmates, he was scared. Virgil had persuaded himself that these four people were the most wonderful people in the world, and that he was nothing.

He couldn't help but think his four soulmates didn't deserve him. Streams of thoughts constantly played on loop through his head. What if they already met and were perfectly happy without him? What if when they meet him they decide they were better off without him? What if they didn't love him like he already loved them?

Virgil sighed before pulling his hair back over his forehead and going back into his bedroom. He fell onto his bed and stared at the ceiling.

What do his soulmates think of having four soulmates? What did they think whenever they saw his gray eye next to theirs?

Did they have to deal with as much judgement over multiple soulmates as he did?

Virgil was snapped out of his thoughts by his dad yelling at him. Virgil groaned before yelling back a response and dragging himself out of his bed.

*

College. The word made Virgil sick to his stomach. He pulled into the dorm parking lot and took out his car keys, but he didn't get out of the car.

He was here on an art scholarship, and he couldn't be more grateful, but the idea of college also scared the shit out of him. He took a shaky breath before opening the car door and dragging out his first bag.

As he walked into the dorm lobby, he kept an eye out for people with two eye colors. While he told himself not to get his hopes up, he couldn't help but watch for his possible soulmates.

He got his room key after an uncomfortable encounter with the dorm mom (why did she have to mention Virgil's eyes?) and starting lugging his suitcase up to the second floor.

His grip on his suitcase tightened as he thought about his new dorm mate. He prayed to god that his dorm mate wasn't a prick and that he wouldn't care that Virgil had four soulmates.

He unlocked the door and slowly opened it only to find his roommate hadn't arrived yet. He sighed in relief and dropped his suitcase on the nearest bed before turning around to go back and grab the last of his bags.

*

It was late afternoon and Virgil was in the middle of unpacking when he heard the lock on the doorknob turning. He turned around as the door opened to reveal his roommate. Virgil's eyes widened.

"Hi!" the boy exclaimed happily with a large grin on his face. Virgil almost died on the spot from the cuteness in front of him.

He was slightly shorter than Virgil, with curlier hair and freckles peppering his face, neck and shoulders. Virgil then looked at his eyes and his breath hitched.

His right eye was a light green and his left eye was a deep blue.

"It's so wonderful to meet you. I'm Patton!" he said happily as he came into the room and closed the door behind him. He hadn't noticed yet.

"I- I'm Virgil," he managed to stutter. This was the last thing he expected.

"Great to met ya, Virgil! I-" Patton turned to face more towards Virgil then stopped in his tracks and gasped. They stared at each other for a few seconds before Patton's face broke into a grin.

Virgil had to make sure.

Without a word Virgil went into the bathroom and stared at his left eye. Light brown. Blink. Blue. Blink. Dark brown.

It skipped green.

Virgil thought he was going to hyperventilate.

"Are you okay?" Virgil heard Patton ask in a soft voice. Without removing his gaze from the mirror, Virgil nodded slowly.

"I-" Virgil started before snapping his mouth shut. He had no idea what to say.

"Can... Can I hug you?" Patton asked. Virgil quickly turned his attention back towards Patton. He nodded.

Patton threw his arms around Virgil's shoulders and Virgil moved his arms around Patton's waist.

"I'm so happy to finally meet you," Patton whispered in Virgil's ear. Virgil shuddered.

"Me too."

*

Virgil helped Patton bring up the rest of his bags, and afterwards Patton was insistent on taking Virgil out for coffee. Virgil agreed, but his heart was racing in his chest as he walked toward the student union with Patton.

Once inside the union they talked about whatever random things they could think of. Virgil discovered that Patton was also an art major here on scholarship and lived in a town farther away than he did. His favorite color was yellow and he thought snickerdoodle cookies are the best things ever created.

"So, was your hometown small like mine?" Virgil asked. Patton nodded.

"Sorry if this is too personal, but... did you have a hard time growing up with four soulmates?"

This question had been burning in Virgil's mind for years, and now that one of his soulmates was in front of him he just had to ask.

"Did you?" was Patton's response. Virgil nodded. Patton smiled sadly.

"So did I," he admitted. "It was a very cookie-cutter conservative town. People must've thought there was something wrong with me. I could never make any close friends."

Patton just shrugged.

"But it's okay because now I have you," he said as he reached out and grabbed Virgil's hand.

Virgil felt the blush rise in his cheeks.

*

Patton and Virgil quickly discovered that both of them were touch-starved and craved attention, so they gave each other just that. Growing up so secluded and alone, such gentleness was almost foreign to them and they relished in the soft touches and tender glances they shared. They had a few more days until classes started and they spent almost the whole time together, either together in the dorm or exploring campus.

The two shared their first kiss the day they had met. They were sitting on the beanbag chair Patton had brought, Patton's legs over Virgil's lap as they talked and basked in each other's company. Their eyes met and for a moment the world was still. Virgil leaned forward slightly before hesitating, and Patton closed the gap.

The kiss was chaste and brief, as that was all the two could handle right now, but it was more than enough and smiles adorned the blushing faces of the two boys as Patton pulled himself closer to Virgil.

It had been three days since they both arrived on campus and classes were starting the next morning. Virgil found it too difficult to sleep, and after an hour of tossing and turning, Patton invited him to his own bed. As Virgil climbed out of his bed to Patton's, he thought that he would still be too nervous to sleep, but now for a different reason than classes. But once Patton's arms wrapped around Virgil and pulled him close to his chest, Virgil found he was able to sleep easily.

It had been only a couple of weeks since the two met, and they were sitting alone outside on a bench shrouded by bushes. It was growing darker, and the two knew they needed to head back to their dorm but neither could find the motivation to leave. Patton was humming something as Virgil had his head rested on Patton's shoulder.

"I'm so lucky," Patton whispered, interrupting his little song. Virgil looked up at him.

"Trust me, I'm the lucky one here," Virgil responded. Patton shook his head.

"You're so wonderful, Virgil. I-" Patton paused. "I... I think I'm falling in love with you."

The words were shaky, and Virgil could feel Patton tense up. He sat up so he could look at Patton, and frowned slightly as he saw Patton's terrified expression.

This was almost too fast for Virgil, but whenever he looked at Patton he felt this wave of emotion run over him, and he truly understood the power of soulbonds and just how lucky he was to be one of the few to have them.

"I'm falling in love with you, too."

*

"Virgil, honey, you gotta stop pressing snooze," Patton whispered. Patton just grunted and pulled himself closer to Patton. It was a few months into the school year and Virgil still wasn't used to waking up so early.

"I wanna stay with you," he mumbled into Patton's shirt. He heard Patton sigh, but he knew he was smiling.

"Do you promise to get up as soon as I get out of the shower?" Patton asked as he gently moved Virgil off his chest. Virgil nodded.

Before Patton could get out of bed, Virgil grabbed his arm and pulled him down so he could kiss him. Patton smiled and put his hands on Virgil's cheeks as he kissed back. Once apart, Patton smiled at Virgil with a look of such adoration that Virgil almost melted under the gaze. Patton blink, causing his eye to change from brown to blue. Virgil smiled and pulled Patton back to him, but Patton cut the kiss short.

"You're too good for me," Virgil sighed as he laid back down. He buried himself in more blankets to make up for the loss of warmth after Patton left.

Upon hearing that on Monday and Wednesdays Virgil had to get up earlier than him, Patton made it a habit to wake up early with Virgil even though he didn't have to. Virgil was incredibly grateful for that.

"I am not," Patton said as he grabbed a towel and closed the bathroom door.

*

Virgil held Patton's hand as they made their way to the cafeteria. They had grown used to the weird looks people gave them, since they were holding hands while their eyes were still two different colors. Most just assumed they were dating despite having soulmates, the thought of multiple soulmates never crossing their minds.

The air had that morning coolness to it and their shoes got slightly wet from the morning dew. The sun wasn't completely up so the light wasn't as bright as it made it's way through the tree branches. The early morning birds were still singing when Virgil opened the Union door for Patton. Even though Virgil hated waking up so early, he enjoyed the calm atmosphere of early mornings.

"How's your art project coming along?" Virgil asked as they sat down at their normal table by the window.

"Great!" Patton exclaimed as he opened his orange juice. How Patton could drink orange juice while eating waffles with syrup would always confuse Virgil.

"That's good to hear," Virgil said. "I'm struggling. Can't exactly figure out what I want to do next."

"Well, I can help you this afternoon," Patton offered as he drowned his waffles in syrup. Virgil couldn't help but snicker.

"What?"

"Nothing. And I'd appreciate that."

*

Virgil made it through college easier than he thought, and it was all because of Patton. Patton had been his rock, always supportive and always there to help Virgil.

Neither of them had any idea how hard summer would be.

They lived too far away from each other to see each other often. The two had grown used to having the other around, and they didn't look forward to going back to distant parents and lonely hometown.

"I'll call you, like, everyday. Unless you don't want me to and that would annoy you-"

"I'd love that," Virgil quickly reassured him. He tried to keep himself together as Patton was already on the verge of tears.

"Okay, well, we'll get together again as soon as possible, right?" Patton asked. His voice cracked at the end and it broke Virgil's heart.

"Yeah, of course."

Patton threw himself into Virgil's arms. Patton only let go so he could kiss Virgil, and Virgil kissed back, desperate. When they broke apart, Virgil saw that Patton had started crying, and that was the end for Virgil. A few tears escaped his eyes before he quickly wiped them away.

"I'll see you soon, babe. I promise," Virgil said before pulling Patton in for another quick kiss.

"See you soon," Patton said before they both walked away towards their cars.

*

That summer went by agonizingly slow. They were only able to see each other a couple of times. And Virgil couldn't believe he was saying this, but he couldn't wait for school to start back up.

They both requested to share a dorm again and were relieved when the college gave them the same room. They agreed to both get there as early in the morning as they could so they could see each other as soon as possible.

Virgil, as expected, got there sooner than Patton as he lived closer. He couldn't stop his hands from shaking as he unpacked and waited.

He heard the door unlock and he froze. The door quickly swung open and there was Patton.

He ran into the room and threw the door closed before jumping into Virgil's arms. His legs wrapped around Virgil's waist and Virgil held him as tightly as he could.

"Oh my god, I missed you," Virgil whispered. He heard Patton take a shaky breath and felt tears fall onto his neck.

"I missed you, too. I missed you I missed you I missed you," Patton whispered.

The phone calls and skype calls could never equate to seeing Patton in person, to being able to hold him and feel him.

Virgil put Patton down and smiled down at him before finally leaning to kiss him. It started off slow and gentle, before being replaced with a sense of urgency and eagerness. Patton's hands tangled themselves in Virgil's hair as he pulled him closer. Virgil's hands found themselves on Patton's back as he pushed their bodies together. Soft gasps escaped both of them as their bodies pressed together and the kiss became needier. Though they briefly discussed taking things further, they both agreed they would prefer to wait until the met the three others. So the two separated and placed their foreheads together. They breathed heavily for a moment before Patton smiled and started giggling. Virgil couldn't help but smirk back.

"I love you," Virgil said.

"I love you, too," Patton responded before pulling Virgil back into another kiss.

*

Their sophomore year went smoothly, and before they knew it, summer was back. This goodbye was easier, knowing what they were going into.

It was about a month into the summer and Virgil was just laying in bed, scrolling through Tumblr on his laptop. It was only a couple of days until Virgil could go drive up to see Patton and stay with him for a couple of weeks, and he was really excited.

Virgil heard his text notification go off and reached over for his phone.

Patton <3: Get on skype!!!

Virgil sat up straight and fixed his hair a bit before opening the app. As soon as the window loaded he got a video call request from Patton.

"Hey, babe," Virgil said, voice a bit raspy from lack of use throughout the day.

"Hey, honey!! I got really big news!"

"What's up!"

"Look at my eye!" Patton leaned in a bit closer and blinked. His left eye changed from the dark brown to the light brown. Patton blinked again and it went straight back to dark brown, skipping blue. Virgil gasped.

"You met them??"

"Yeah! Oh, Virgil, he's incredible. I can't wait for you to meet him on Saturday.

Virgil's heart rate increased.

"He asked me to go with him to a museum tomorrow and of course I wanted to say yes but then I told him that I had already met you and that I wanted to wait for you to come to town as you were coming in two days and oh, Virgil, you should've seen the look on his face at the idea getting to meet you so soon-"

"Slow down, babe," Virgil said. Patton took a deep breath.

"Anyways, you're going to love him. I-"

"Patton!" Virgil heard Patton's mother yell offscreen. Patton winced slightly before continuing.

"Sorry, I gotta go. I'll call you later tonight though, promise!"

"Yeah, okay."

"I love you, Virgil," Patton said softly.

"I love you, too, Pat."

Patton smiled and ended the call.

Virgil fell back against his pillow again.

Patton had met another one.

His mind immediately fell into a hole of self-doubt. What if Patton loved this new guy more than him? What if the new guy doesn't like him? What if Patton and his other soulmate like each other more than him? What if he doesn't have a place in this relationship anymore??

He took a deep breath and told himself to calm down. Patton loved him. From what he knew of soulbonds from his time with Patton, he knew he should be able to click with his other soulmate immediately.

He couldn't get himself to believe that.